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#truly cant make this shit up
copingchaos · 6 months
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that last sentence is so powerful considering everything that's going on
including recent events in which french senators are currently trying to pass a bill to criminalize critiqueing the state of israel/ speaking up against zionism: "those who insult the state of israel would face two years imprisonment and a fine of EUR 75,000 "
imagine making it illegal to speak up against a state that has bombed civilians with white phosphorus
imagine making it illegal to speak up against a state that is carrying out collective punishment against the entire population in Gaza, as we speak
this might soon be the world we live in
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clouvu · 8 days
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Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine
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junotter · 9 months
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what i think is the reason I'm Just Ken is a good/as popular as it is is because the way it somehow explores both what its like to be a woman and man just through ken.
like the line "I'm just Ken. Anywhere else I'd be a ten." just feels very hitting as a woman in a social media world, especially if you've seen the truerateme subreddits and the ways they judge women.
and of course the fragility and inability to find meaning/self worth outside of a romantic relationship due to the strict boxes placed on men and male relationships (and even friendships between men and women).
theres more and i know im getting annoying with the barbie posts but i did really like the movie, regardless of how "bland" its feminism is. also just all the chronically online feminists complaining about how basic it is, like oh should we tell everyone? Should we throw a party? should we invite andrea dworkin.
like is it perfect? no. does it lack in intersectionality and have poc characters act as the support to white characters? yes. should ken probably of apologized? yeah. but many things can be true about one movie.
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pensymbols · 4 months
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if u believe that jason grace is lame gtfo this is NOT safe space for you
#everytime someone claims hes a boring character and a blank canvas i losd up a gun and#like jason ISNT a boring character hes actually incredibly interesting#but rick riordian fucking hates his guts and refuses to give him anythin#like genuinely#like first of all jason getting his memory wiped but hes never able to regain them???#so despite people knowing WHO he was and him having the general feeling of knowing who he is he genuienly cannot remember shit#and those memory problems persist all the way up throughout toa#second of all his general past??#like the grace siblings had such good backstories in the sense they were intriguing and actually defined everything and every choice they#-make#like jason who was proclaimed as heras/junos since he was born stolen from thalia who was raising him and she cant wver find him again and#-so she assumes shes dead and being reluctant to take in annabeth whos supposed to be around her baby brothers age#that shits peak#and then theres jason who was raised by wolves and then eventually found his way to new rome where he was only ever seen as jupiters son or#junos champion and he was only ever going to be the praetor and no one there truly saw jason for who he is#like thats PEAK#AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE JASON VS PERCY THING BCS A) I THINK ITS DUMB AND B) ITS STUPID#also rick DOES hate jason grace bcz they killed his character long before toa when thwy tried to make jason more like zeus so the rivalry-#-could make more sense#pjo#percy jackson and the heroes of olympus#jason grace#percy jackon and the olympians#heros of olympus#trials of apollo
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hella1975 · 9 months
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realising something bad about someone that means the world to you should be illegal. id like to live blindly actually
#ive been tiptoeing around this realisation for a WHILE now but today was the first time i actually verbatim in my head#went 'i dont like living with my mum'. and the moment i thought it was like no nooononono lets NOT do that#like objectively my mum is my favourite person in the world and i love her more than every other person in my life combined#but LIVING with her in HER HOUSE is just not... it. and it makes me feel awful for even thinking it bc that's her biggest fear#that we're gonna grow up to have the same relationship that she had with her mum and that ISNT what's happening like i could never#be distant from my mum in fact the reason she has such a chokehold on me is BECAUSE there's so much love there#but it would still break her heart to know i felt this way and i just feel so shitty for it. but like? i CANT relax here#like the thing that made me think it this morning wasn't even an explosive thing like it usually is with her#like every shouting screaming argument we've had ive just taken it. but then this morning when nothing exceptional happened#i was just. done. so basically i told u guys she wanted me to hoover today and already yelled about it YESTERDAY which. whatever#and she goes out every thurdsay until lunchtime and i think ive said on here before that the days we're home alone are HUGE flashpoints#bc if she comes home and perceives that not enough chores have been done/one thing has been done wrong she just hits the ROOF#like her temper is entirely disproportional she gives the same energy for the washing up not being put away that another mum would#give for finding drugs in their kids room. ive truly never seen someone maintain a temper like that woman can it's actually impressive#so yeah she was gone this morning and it just always leaves me On Edge it's never a huge thing bc im not SCARED of her but im not relaxed#and i hoovered for an hour and washed up and then also dusted the stairs and did some other tiny irrelevant jobs#and my sister did fuck all. she pulled a sickie off work and stayed in bed while i fussed about what to do with the dogs and shit#and so when my mum came home ig i was expecting some sort of acknowledgement? like not a round of applause#bc obvs it's just chores and the hoovering she literally told me to do but when my sister had been SO unhelpful and it had been#SO on my mind for hours now i was just. waiting for something? and even i didnt know what so it's not even fair#but my mum came home and decided she was in a bad mood and she had a go at my sister for being lazy and not doing the chores she said#she'd do today and she DIDNT yell at me which she sometimes does just do if she's pissed at my sister. but she just got mardy with me?#like she got up and left to go watch TV in her room and i was like 'oh i can watch it with you?' bc sometimes when they row my mum#hints at me and her going somewhere else to bitch about my sister. but she just shook her head and snapped at me for some dumb shit#like TINY shit id missed and then wouldn't even spend time with me and i was just like. are you serious#and THAT was when i had the thought bc i was like there is actually no winning with her temper#and i can never fully relax around her because of it. even when we're getting on she is at any point seconds away from ripping my head off#and it's not nice being around someone like that ALL THE TIME. and i dont mind it when im at uni bc im at my own house in my own life#but when it's HER house and she makes it very clear that it's HER house and we need her and the car if we want to so much as LEAVE#then that's just not a fucking pleasant environment to be in? right? even if it is just me being a baby? ugh idk and i hate this
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galpalaven · 5 months
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should i invest time into writing a book? i had an idea for one that i really enjoyed, but i know how long publishing takes, so it feels like a waste of time
there's also a collaborative dnd story i wanted to write with my dm friend (hiiii @whynotsableye) that i still want to write but idk if anybody would be interested in reading it or even how that would work. do people read just? like? serial short stories?? would that be something people would be into? i can't draw and neither can she so it would just be us writing....
idk. im still jobless and getting no responses and i just. yeah. everything sucks
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pcktknife · 1 year
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So, super small bit of info dropped in scarlet but uh. Apparently if you get sent to the past you cant um, you cant come back. (Im sure if arceus or dialga intervened they could do something tho)
I HEARD. someone should sneak me into game freak hq and just let me run wild cause I'd handle it. I'd Handle It.
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the-acid-pear · 4 days
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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pepprs · 6 months
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my depression is getting really really bad. like it’s been bad before but this is like… consistently really bad. like a long unending stretch for several weeks (and tbh months) now. to the point where no inoculation actually sticks (and im isolating myself from most of my inoculations anyway and feel unable to stop doing it even though i know it’s self destructive). im either helplessly unbearably miserable or numbing out on video games. i just don’t feel like it’s going to get better for me and i KNOW that is factually untrue but the feeling is louder than the knowledge and it’s just utterly immobilizing. ive been sinking in quicksand for 2 years.
#purrs#longer than that too ofc but i think ever since i moved to campus in 2021 and shit started hitting the fan my life just started snowballing#and picked up speed majorly when i moved back home and ive been stuck in this horrible limbo ever since. like im scaring myself with how#deeply profoundly unhappy and unwell i am. i am just detached and scattered and bewildered by everything. and the only way to break free is#to fight it but i don’t even have the strength. like in order to fight it i have to have the strength and it s exactly the thing that is#being stolen from me. and i work really really hard to suppress it when im around people so no one can tell but on the inside im being eaten#alive and every day that goes on the pain gets harder to bear except im numb most of the time so i can’t tell except for when i can#one of the things that makes me saddest is ive pushed everyone away either by ghosting them or scaring them. when what i want and need the#most is love and comfort. but then when i get it it isn’t enough. idk. im not explaining it well i just feel like. horrible. unbearably#i think i need to go on meds like i truly cannot go on like this not even in a s*i cidal way it’s like i just can’t take living like this#delete later#i know im causing the people who love me pain by being unable to accept that they do love me and that’s the worst fucking part. is hurting#people by being like this. scaring people by being like this. and being so disconnected from myself#and feeling completely and utterly beyond help like nothing ive tried has fixed it but also there are a lot of things i haven’t tried but i#feel so terrible or my freedom is limited so i can’t. idk.#also the crushing knowledge / sense that i have lost the most precious important years of my life both bc of the lockdown and bc of mental#illness lol. except that’s not true bc of all the stuff abt how your best years are always ahead of you and you can make them. but it doesnt#feel like it for me and then i beat myself up bc my job is literally to exude that belief and help other ppl feel it and i increasingly cant#i remember in high school having the thought that one day i could be depressed and being conscious that i wasn’t and now i look back on that#and am like… how. and will i ever not be. i don’t think so. it just feels unending
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copingchaos · 5 months
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Official soldiers from the israeli STATE are using their power to sexually violate regular citizens.
The only thing we can do is to keep exposing the inhumanity of the israeli state.
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cultrise · 7 months
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FOUND MY OLD WATTPAD DRAFTS BACK FROM WHEN WATTPAD WAS A THING STOP I’M CRYING ?????
“author’s note: i haven’t figured out the plot yet guys lmfaooo” GIRL WHAT PLOT 😭😭😭
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orbmanson7 · 4 months
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:(
Very bad grade in therapy today
#thought i could make progress this year and yet here i am having done jack shit by now#what has even been the point#i just wanted to do something today that didnt feel awful like try to encourage people to watch a show or play a game#and now im just right back to Why do i bother staying alive? im never going to make any progress#and even if i do I'm going to just be worthless the whole time and waste precious resources others could be using#oh yes just try saying a nice thing to yourself for once! yeah sure that will help when i cant do anything worth a damn#i want to help people but i have no skillsets and no money to further my education and teaching myself gets me right where i already am!#continuing like this is like spitting in the face of anyone who is actually out there pursuing their dreams and thats not fair to them#they put in all that hard work and im over here being a whiny ass bitch bc i want so badly to do better and learn more#but the only thing holding me back is that im a dumbass who cant do anything right and no one will ever think differently#why am i trying to make myself something i can never be? what is goddamn point if its just a waste of everyones time and effort#i just... it feels like the least i can do is just stop taking up space#free up some oxygen for someone who really needs it and shelter for someone who truly deserves it#i shouldnt even have these things and yet i complain about how much gas i have to pay to commute to my jobs#like such an asshole#and i said i so much in these tags bc im such a selfish jerk who coearly doesnt care enough nor has a worthwhile vocabulary to say otherwise#theres just no fucking point to any of this#...#its cold today#might be a good day to do my favorite plan#actually yeah fuck it im gonna go#hope you all stay kind to yourselves and enjoy your 2024#you absolutely deserve it and everything you can get out of it#keep being amazing yall#see you on the flip side or whatever#orbs thought bubbles
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gayestcowboy · 7 months
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hey this may be a weird question so feel free to never answer but how did you go about gaining weight? you're so happy with it and i think it may be for me too but i wouldn't know the first step towards that happiness so,,
i’m gonna be so honest it just happened naturally when i went on testosterone. i didn’t drastically change my diet or exercise, if anything i ended up getting more exercise from walking all over my campus (i started t before i started college), and i definitely need to eat more than i used to, but nothing drastic. it’s just how my body reacted to having more testosterone. i didn’t expect it at all going into it, although i’m very glad it happened, but some people lose weight on hrt and some people dont have a weight change ag all, it just depends on the person. since i did literally nothing to gain weight other than hrt, and obviously i have no idea whether hrt is something you even remotely want to do, and hrt isn’t even a guarantee your weight will change at all, i cant do much other than share my own experience 😭 but i wish you luck in whatever you end up doing, and i hope you enjoy your body!
and this might be a weird answer, but if you feel comfortable, you could always try poking around in a weight gain fetish community somewhere online. it’s not really something i’m into so i can’t say whether or not anything will come from it, but i know it exists and it’s a group of people who know how to gain weight, and i’m sure some of them post about how they do it. i won’t give out any more medical advice on tumblr, and i hesitate to ask if anyone else has any advice, but i’m sure the very best thing you could do is talk to a medical professional about it, and just make sure to take good care of your body no matter how much you weigh. weight and health will never measure your worth as a person, but you should always try and take care of your body as best you can. and eat your veggies 👍
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ozymoron · 9 days
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dude its always "be yourself" till youre trans and now suddenly oh i get to nitpick every little thing about you oh that gesture was very feminine made you look like a girl oh youre wearing a shirt thats cream coloured? seems a little feminine to me oh you paint your nails? so youre a girl after all like ???? youre giving me mixed messages here am i meant to be myself or am i meant to conform to your idea of what a man is in order to be accepted as one by you
#⚠️#one time after i came out my mum saw me lounging around in a black t shirt and she was like oh it made you look like a man thinking it was#compliment but dude i got so mad i was like for fuck sake is that seriously what i have to do to be considered a man is lounge around in a#black t shirt??? lounging around is masculine???? what????????#i was also just a very angry person in general but still that really confuses me#had a psychiatrist note down shit about my appearance saying whether they thought it was feminine or masculine (they thought it was all#feminine) which was fucking crazy cause i went in for an adhd diagnosis#people just find out youre trans and suddenly start acting like experts on whats feminine and whats masculine and what makes you either#gender like shut the fuck up#can also come from people who they themselves accept some cis men are feminine and some cis women are masculine but suddenly as soon as you#try to transition now you have to be masculine or be feminine or youre not valid in their eyes#its fucking crazy#like if i showed them a dude with long hair theyd be like thats a dude with long hair but as soon as i have my hair long im told to cut it#i can show them a dude in a skirt and theyd probably laugh thinking its funny or some bullshit but theyd still think its a dude in a skirt#but if i wear a skirt suddenly im a girl#i know at the root of all this they truly believe people cant switch genders cause in their minds sex and gender is the same but still its#so annoying especially when they pretend to be accepting or think theyre being accepting and when you challenge them on their transphobia#they get all mad at you and act like youre being rude for criticizing them for doing the bare minimum whilst also just continuing to be#transphobic#like yeah you use my correct name but when im not around you use she/her for me and you say i **want** to be a boy instead of i am a boy bu#when i talk to you about this suddenly im the bad guy like its my fault youre using language for me thats transphobic#like ok man. whatever.#sorry for asking you to be a decent fucking human being toward me and treat me with respect#its like people just treat trans peoples gender like something they can just dismiss like its nothing liek we're just playing pretend or#something#like god its frustrating. i need to cut my mum out of my life fr
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hella1975 · 9 months
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sometimes i think about the fact my grandparents literally overnight just cut us off and im like. how did u even do that. does it torment you
#eeaao's 'how did you let me go so easily' moment. like i dont let myself even THINK about this too often#bc i immediately beat myself back with the 'if it's hard for you then imagine how hard it is for mum. her PARENTS cut her off'#but like. idk. my nan i couldn't give less of a shit about which is something i always find so interesting#bc even as a child with NO basis for it or any understanding of her behaviour both past and present i still wasn't Comfortable around her#like children are smart actually. i just Knew her vibes were off and i Knew my mum was weird when she was around#like i truly dont think i ever loved my nan even when she was a very frequent part of my life#but my grandad? i ADORED him. id see him multiple times a week and he's the kindest man ive ever met#and hannah what i told you about my mum saying certain people have magnetic auras THAT WAS ABOUT HIM#like i cant actually put into words what it was about him but people just wanted to know him and spend time with him#but he was weak and let my nan walk all over him and when push came to shove he chose her and now ive not spoken to him in 3 years#& i KNOW he loved me. he thought the world of me like it's a bitter unspoken thing between me & my sister that we KNOW i was his favourite#he used to buy me egg butties at agricultural shows when my mum said no and specifically ask for two eggs#he used to sit and eat his soup with me when he came over to do work at the house#he used to play with me. he used to smile all the time. i can so clearly hear the way he'd go ''iya [my name]' with his proper rural accent#or how he'd tell anyone who would listen 'she's tough as old boots that one'#and i could make him laugh like NO ONE else could and he'd light up and go 'give over' and he genuinely enjoyed my company#i KNOW HE DID. and i havent spoken to him in 3 years. he'll be dead soon#and i cant talk to my mum about it bc it's her DAD it is so much worse for her and i cant talk to my sister about it#bc she wasn't close with him like i was and she just shuts the conversation down and those are the only two people#who know my grandad and know what he meant to me so im just here like. he literally stopped speaking to me overnight#i stopped hearing from him i stopped meeting up with him im so so angry with him the love is still there i dont know where to put it now#why couldnt he stay. why did he pick her when she's a loveless void of inhumanity. why werent we enough#hella goes home#my grandparents on my dad's side are also not in the picture funnily enough but idgaf about them. she got that grandparentless swag
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biillys · 2 years
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love the idea of billy being able to approach anyone at school and it just being accepted. him not necessarily being apart of the popular crowd but anytime he chooses to grace them with his presence, they're all over him, offering him a seat and the latest hottest gossip. him talking to some nerd in class, asking for a pen becos he doesn't believe in bringing his own school supplies, and said nerd internally rolling their eyes but still handing over a pen. him talking to the drama kids, asking where they got that sick as fuck leather jacket for their musical, getting confused and lowkey alarmed looks but still an answer.
love the idea of there being only a select few people that can approach him and have him actually respond and acknowledge them, everyone else not even getting a glance.
eddie being one of them.
eddie and billy seeming to become eddie and billy overnight, like one day they were strangers and the next they were basically inseparable.
eddie walking up behind billy in the hallway and swinging an arm over his shoulder, fucking with his hair, before dumping half the shit he was carrying in billy’s basically unused satchel. billy giving him a what the fuck look but still holding it open for him, and eddie rolling his eyes and saying it was fucking empty anyway, billy shoving his satchel onto eddie's shoulder cos he’s not carrying around eddie's shit for him all day.
eddie being able to lean against billy's car, jump in the passenger seat without an invitation or even a comment, cos billy does the same thing to eddie's van just as often.
they have one class together, and their teacher’s given up on separating them, cos eddie’s just gonna talk to billy from across the room anyway, and billy’s gonna throw notes back to him, ripping up the piece of paper he borrowed from the guy beside him and throwing them at eddie's hair.
they have fun in detention together.
heathers another one.
they’re coworkers, yeah, but heather was probably the first person that billy ever truly gave a shit about in this shithole of a town. heathers been a cheerleader since becoming a cheerleader was an option, but somehow, like billy these days, always seems to just do her own thing.
she can sit on billy’s lap at lunch if they both bother with the cafeteria and the most billy will do is wrap an arm around her waist and move around 'til their more comfortable.
she can go through his shit to find his car keys to make a quick run to his car at lunch to find some spare hairbands and bobby-pins cos her’s broke and billy’s got spare shit everywhere in his car ever since he basically started being everyone’s personal chauffeur.
she can drag his notes across and copy everything he's written cos she was too busy texting chrissy under the table to pay attention and the most billy will do is ask what the plans were for that night. his notes half the time are basically illegible but billy's more or less somehow got mostly straight A's so heather'll take it.
sometimes she wears his jacket. rips him off about the lip stain. billy tells her to do a better one since she gives so much of a fuck.
chrissy joins billy’s inner-circle slowly, then instantly.
billy knows of her, has probably even spoke to her, but it’s not until they meet in eddie's trailer and all smoke up together - eddie and billy fucking around on eddie's guitars, heather with her feet swung over the back of the couch, chrissy sitting tense on the single armchair before slowly loosening up - that billy feels like he actually meets her.
suddenly, she’s pulling away from jason, from the other basketball players, from all her cheer friends, and slowly she’s hanging out with heather under the bleachers, she’s meeting up with eddie in the woods, and she’s waiting around the camaro at the end of the day to catch a ride home.
suddenly billy’s waiting around after basketball/cheer practice until chrissy’s ready to leave, cos jason's been talking a lot of shit lately, and billy doesn’t really think he’s got it in him to do something reckless, but he’s also not stupid enough to underestimate a guy like jason carver.
chrissy getting nervous when she sees jason loitering around but then she sees billy waiting just behind him, and she’s feeling brave suddenly, so she practically dances her way over to billy, grabs his hand before leaning into his side, and billy’s leaning right back and dropping her hand so he can wrap his arm around her shoulder, and she leaves without looking back. billy flips jason the bird over his shoulder.
max, obviously, when she starts going to the same high school. they’ve spent the previous summer working so much shit out, and it doesn’t mean they’re not still at each others throats over the stupidest shit, but it does mean that when billy bitches about having to wait around after her stupid nerd clubs, he does it without that much heat, and when max bitches about having to deal with the fact that every single person and teacher in this damn school has an opinion on her just becos she’s billy hargrove’s little sister, she sometimes sounds kind of proud to have that label. most of the time, she’s just annoyed.
max sometimes shoves her shit in billy’s locker, becos her locker’s full of dustin’s science shit, and sometimes when she’s carrying her board around at the end of the day, billy’ll come up behind her and smack it out of her grasp before skating down the hallway. she always feels vindicated when billy gets caught though, cos she never does. 
shaking billy down for lunch money, cos susan seems to think max actually likes tunafish sandwiches, when she rly truly fucking hates them. billy usually telling her to fucking scram, but occasionally giving in and passing her some change.
max sometimes tracking him down at the start of her lunch period and holding a hand out for his car keys, a pissed off look on his face, and billy takes one look behind he to see her lil gang looking all shifty, and billy - having been on the receiving end of her attitude fucking constantly in the past - just sighing before handing his keys over. more often than not, trailing behind her, even when she tells him to fuck off, just throwing a shit eating grin her way with an aww, so little maxine can have a pity party for one? fuck no. what'd the fuckers do this time?
lucas, becos he’s max’s boyfriend, and also becos he’s on the team, and he seems to be sneaking over every other weekend, and things may still be rocky between them, but since billy make his apology, they’ve been getting better. they’re not exactly besties, but sometimes they play a one on one game after practice ends and no one’s in a rush to get home, and most times lucas will win becos he’s honestly just better than billy at basketball, and each time billy will ask for best out of three, then best out of five, cos he fucking sucks at losing.
when jason and some of the other basketball dickheads start trying to drag lucas in, pulling their fake shit only to split whenever it’s convenient, billy just watches on before rolling his eyes and pulling lucas’ gear closer to his in the locker room and gives him the worlds shittest pep talk. jason carver ain’t shit, trust me. fuck that guy.
carol! and tommy! except billy’s a dick and he thinks it’s funny to fuck with tommy, so when carol comes up to him and catches him up to date with the latest wild happenings from the party he couldn’t be fucked to attend the night before, crashing at eddie’s with the others instead, and tommy tries to go in for a simple bro-handshake, billy gives him a blank stare and holds his hand out limply, not participating, watches the look on tommy’s face go from excited to confused, before finally grabbing him by the hand and pulling him close, hand on his shoulder, ‘i’m fucking with you’, then doing the stupid bro-shake thing. tommy laughing it off but turning to carol with wide eyes, every fucking time, like ‘shit, are we cool? are we friends?’ and carol just patting him on the shoulder before tucking herself into his side, all ‘yeah, babe, you're good.’
#anyway au where when billy first rolled into town; he truly did feel the need to like. make himself big. surround himself with crowds#fit in with the popular kids. attend every party. but then s3 happened#or like the non-upsidedown version but still a major critical life changing event. and when hes as healed as hes gonna get#and finally standing on his own two feet; trying to get his life back on track#he just. cant be fucked with keeping up appearances anymore. fuck being basketball captain fuck being the keg king fuck being That Guy#instead all he needs is his sister and his few people. that's literally all that matters.#anyway i think its be FUN if eddie can't understand shit in class so he's like 'billy what the fucks this mean'#but the teacher DID separate them so billy - from the literal other side of class - tries to explain it in terms eddie will click with#much to the teachers surprise; eddies grades actually improve#also. heather and chrissy wearing the guys jackets. its THAT simple#but also consider: chrissy wearing eddies jacket but eddies kinda chilly so billy offers him his leather jacket#that happens to be in the car. while heathers got his denim one. and billys just walking around in sleeves in a hawkins winter like a tool#max gives him SO much shit#also billy tommy and carol is like. billy was Faking it Til he Could Make it when he first met them so he keeps them at a distance#but then when he's in hospital and recovering; before eddie and chrissy are rly on his radar#and its just max and heather sitting by his side; tommy and carol come through#they're the only ones from billys Friend Group that reach out and visit; that check in; that fucking care#so when billy does stroll back into school. he just - walks straight pass jason and all his fake ass sympathies; straight past the girls#that use to hang all over him; gives tommy and carol a two finger salute as he walks by but completely ignores everyone else#and meets up w heather at his locker#m#nqff
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