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allthatyoulove · 3 years

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12:51

Modern/Highschool AU James “Bucky” Barnes / Reader

Summary: Your ex best friend and his new band are performing for the first time and you decide to go watch them perform. You didn’t expect the song to be about you.

Warnings: angst, cussing, fluff

Words: 2.5k

A/N: My first one-shot!!! This was inspired by the song 12:51 by The Strokes! Let me know what you think, and give me any suggestions for future one-shots! (Also let me know if I missed any warnings) Thanks for stopping by :)

You know when you can feel, deep down somewhere, that whatever you’re about to do is a dumb fucking idea? I don’t know why I was ignoring that feeling, but there was nothing that could stop me now.

I shivered, wrapping my arms tighter around myself as I walked down the dimly lit street. As I got closer to my destination, the music coming from inside the house started to become louder. I pulled my hand from the inside of my jacket where I attempted to keep it warm to check the time.

12:45.

I had snuck out of my house to go to this party everyone was going to. It was a Friday night, and I was originally thinking of skipping this week’s party, until I found out who was playing.

Bucky Barnes.

Or, I guess, James Barnes.

James and I had been best friends since we were kids. I can’t even remember how we met, I just remember us being attached at the hip since kindergarten. We lived in the same houses, right next to each other, through our entire lives. We went through all of our worst phases together.

I started to get feelings for him in middle school, when I realized that was a thing that happened when you started to grow up. I never told him, scared I would ruin our friendship, and our lives continued as they always have.

Then, highschool started.

Bucky and I began our rebellious phase together, starting to sneak out every Friday night to the party that was happening that week. We would get forties and lay on the roof of our houses afterwards around 1 am, looking at the stars and talking or doing karaoke to our favorite songs. I fell more and more in love with him every day.

Towards the end of freshman year, the upperclassmen at the parties we went to started to take notice of him. They would dare him to jump off the roof into the pool, or to drink as much as he could through a beer funnel. And he would do it, always the people pleaser. They liked how he listened to them, and took him under their wing.

He stopped hanging out with me after that.

I would go up to him, and he would say he had to go to his next class or that his friends were waiting up for him so he couldn’t talk. He wouldn’t let me call him Bucky anymore, because everyone knew him as James and he didn’t want to explain our relationship, or lack-thereof, to them.

Eventually we stopped hanging out altogether, avoiding each other in school and day-to-day, and pretended we never knew each other.

It’s not like I didn’t have or make new friends, because I did, but it was never the same. Bucky- or, James- and I’s bond was something special. Something I couldn’t find with anyone else. I tried to adapt to the friends around me, tried to like the things they liked, but I always felt like James was the only person I could open up to.

Now we’re seniors, and James had started a band with a couple of his friends earlier that year. This party was the first time they were performing in front of people, and I wanted to go watch. I was curious.

A couple minutes later I finally walked into the party, looking around through the crowd of people. I said hi to a group of people I knew, when I heard him.

“Hey everyone, how are you guys feeling tonight?”

The crowd gave a response of shouts and cheers. While everyone looked towards the direction of the stage, I took the distraction as a chance to make my way towards them.

I found my way towards the front, standing behind a couple of people that were a couple of feet from the stage.

And there he was.

He was in a black shirt and black biker jacket with black jeans. His hair was tucked behind his ears, with a few strands in front of his face from slightly leaning down to the mic.

He looked good.

It wasn’t a very big or high stage, being that it’s in someone's house, but it made the view of them much easier to see.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” he laughed, “Well, my friends and I here got a song we’d like to perform for you. This one is called 12:51.”

More cheers erupted from the crowd.

I stood there, putting my hands in my jacket pockets, looking up at him. The people in front of me moved slightly to group with their friends, moving me more towards the front.

We made eye contact as I got shoved slightly towards the front. His eyes blinked a couple times, mouth slightly falling open upon seeing me for the first time. He blushed a little before the sound of the bass and drums started to play, snapping him back into reality. He looked down for a second before grabbing the mic and looking back up at me. I kept my gaze neutral, waiting for him to sing.

“Talk to me now, I’m older

Your friend told you ‘cause I told her

Friday nights have been lonely

Change your plans and then phone me”

He pulled away from the mic, clapping to the beat as he kept his gaze on me. He looked sad, not moving from my eyes as he began to sing again.

“We could go and get forties

Fuck going to that party

Oh really, your folks are away now?

Alright, let’s go, you convinced me”

My mouth slightly fell open at the first line, my eyes tearing up as he seemingly sang that line to me. My brows furrowed as I listened to the lyrics.

“12:51 is the time

My voice found the words I sought

Is it this stage I want?

The world is shutting out for us

Oh, we were tense for sure

But we was confident”

He grabbed the mic with both hands, making it obvious he was looking at me as he sang the rest of the song.

“Kiss me, now that I’m older

I won’t try to control you

Friday nights have been lonely

Take it slow but don’t warn me

We’d go out and get forties

Then we’d go to some party

Oh really, your folks are away now?

Alright I’m coming, I’ll be right there”

He stepped back from the mic, panting as the song finished. Everyone began to cheer and clap, as I stood there stunned. A tear had rolled down my cheek sometime before the song finished and I wiped it away as I stood there looking at him.

He looked around at the rest of the crowd briefly, smiling and saying thank you as he blew kisses towards the crowd.

I turned to leave as I pushed my way through the cheering group of people. A few tears begrudgingly fell as I tried to find my way out.

I didn’t know what to think.

The things he mentioned in the song were too specific to be about anyone else. What hurt the most was finding out how he felt about me like this. We hadn’t spoken in over 2 years. Now he’s in a band, writing songs about how he misses me and wants me to kiss him?

Fuck, I need a drink.

I made a detour to the kitchen before leaving to look for some alcohol. The kitchen island had many choices to choose from, all of the bottles sprawled across the table. I grabbed the first one I saw and drank from the bottle.

The burn of the drink going down my throat was exactly what I needed.

I wiped at my mouth with my sleeve as I put the bottle down and took a second to let the liquor go down.

I went back to my original route to the front door, when the group of friends I talked to earlier stopped me.

“Hey where ya going? We’re all thinking of doing s'more shots, wanna join?”

“I think I’m gonna head home, not really in the party mood anymore.”

“D’ya need someone to bring you home?”

I looked around the group, all of them struggling to stand up straight or laughing at nothing.

“No I’ll be fine. Thanks though, have a nice night.”

“Okay byeeeeeeee!!!”

I laughed and shook my head, turning to finish my walk out the door when someone called my name. I knew that voice. It was a voice I could recognize anywhere, no matter the amount of alcohol in my body or the blaring music that resumed over the speakers. I rushed out the door, turning left and speed-walking the way I came.

“Hey! Wait!” I heard the sound of someone running behind me.

Well, shit, I’m not gonna break into a sprint to get away from him.

I stopped walking on the sidewalk, turning around to face him.

He finished jogging up to me, out of breath. He stood there for a second staring at me and panting.

"Did you run over to me just to stare or do you have something you'd like to talk about?"

He laughed faintly, shaking his head at the ground and using his hand to push the side of his hair back.

"Sorry, I- uh, yeah I wanted to talk to you. It's been a while."

"Yup" I said, popping the "p". I lightly rocked back and forth on the heels of my feet as we looked at each other. I was getting impatient with standing here trying to decipher whatever code he was speaking in. Whatever he was trying to say needed to find its way out.

"So, what'd you think of the song?"

"Bucky" I sighed, "I think I should-"

"Y'know you're the only one who ever calls me Bucky"

I stopped mid-sentence, taking a second to process what he said.

"Until you told me to stop. Guess it's a still a habit"

He sighed and looked down, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"Listen. Please. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for treating you so badly, and I'm sorry for ditching you like that, and I'm sorry for- well just being an asshole in general, and I-"

"Bucky."

"-know you probably don't want to hear this, because I'm about 3 years late, but I want you to know that I-"

"Bucky."

"miss you. So much. I have ever since I did that to you, and I don't know why I did it, but it took me this long to figure out that-"

"Bucky!"

"I'm in love with you."

He finally looked up at me, finishing his rant and even more out of breath than he was before. I froze, looking at him shocked.

"What?"

"I've loved you since elementary."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My lifelong best friend, who I've been in love with since middle school, who abandoned me freshman year, has been in love with me too. For even longer. My mind was racing with questions.

"Wait- since elementary?"

"Yes."

"And you still are?"

"Yes."

"Even after not talking to me for over 2 years?"

He winced before answering. "Yes."

"Why did you end our friendship like that? How could you do that to me?"

He shook his head, averting his eyes back to the ground as he winced again.

"I'm so sorry, I- I just couldn't- I-I thought that coming into high school you would start making all these friends, and I guess freshman me thought it would be best if I just found some friends first. You know, to soften the blow I guess."

I furrowed my brows, looking at him incredulously.

"So you ended our lifelong friendship because you were scared I'd make friends?"

"Well fuck, when you put it like that-"

"How the fuck am I supposed to put it, Bucky? That's what happened, right?

"Yeah. That's what happened."

We met each other's eyes again. He looked defeated as he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket.

"Can you please tell me what you thought of the song" he whispered, blinking slowly at me.

I sighed sharply as my tongue pressed against the side of my mouth.

"Did you mean it? What you said?"

"Every word."

I shivered and shrugged, shaking my head.

"What do you want me to say, James?"

He winced for the third time at the sound of me using his name.

"I want you to say you'll think about forgiving me, I want you to say you feel the same, I want you to be in my life again. I want you."

I shut my eyes for a second and sighed. He's in love with me, and he wants me. He's in love with me. He has been since elementary. He wants me in his life. He loves me. A couple seconds passed before I responded.

"Of course I feel the same way, I have for, like, 5 years. And I'll think about forgiving you. Only because the song was sorta good-"

"Can I kiss you?"

The rest of my sentence died as I looked up at him confused. Did I hear him right?

"What did you say?"

"Can I kiss you?" he repeated, licking his lips as his gaze darted from my eyes to my lips.

"Yes."

He was closing the space between us as soon as the word left my lips. He pulled his hands from his jacket, using them to hold my face as he kissed me.

I leaned into the kiss, trying to ignore the fireworks going off in my stomach.

He moved his hands to go around my waist, wrapping his arms around me to hold me against him. I brought my arms up to wrap around the back of his head as the kiss deepened.

I pulled away and looked at him, running my fingers through his hair as his arms stayed locked around my waist. We smiled at each other as he darted between looking at my eyes and lips. I brushed his hair behind his ears before he spoke.

"What d'ya say we go to your house and sit on the roof, like we used to?"

"What about the drinks?"

"I think the amount of alcohol you chugged in the kitchen should be enough for tonight"

I laughed and kissed him again. With or without the alcohol, I was drunk on Bucky and the happiness in this moment we shared. It felt as if the years without him had turned me into a zombie, and this kiss brought me back to life. An antidote that I didn't know I needed.He eventually put me down as we began to walk back to our street, hand in hand.

I had gotten my best friend back.

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes modern au #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #bucky imagine

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echo-three-one · 3 years

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Run run run....

Table of Contents

Previous Chapter : Going Dark - Part 1

Chapter 23 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

Going Dark - Part 2

John "Soap" MacTavish

London, United Kingdom

Soap never knew that the bloody guy would pull that trick off his sleeve. He's been sick of the same ringing he first experienced when they went out with Francine.

So he did what he could and quickly got up to his feet as soon as he saw Alex attempt to halt the hostage on his tracks. That bastard's going to pay for stomping on Alex like that.

With comms down once again, he had to act fast, stomping down the stairs, never leaving sight of the runner. He could sense someone following him and assumed it's any of Roach, Price or Jack. And it looked like Ghost caught wind of what happened too.

"Oi! Let's flank him!" Soap roared across the empty streets as Ghost and Roach split ways and ran toward their target.

They're not kidding when they said the Shadow Company is at par with the 141, the guy ran like a horse which Soap never expected from his build. He could see Ghost and Roach sprinting from his sides, one wrong turn and he's done for, but he still had one last trick.

He raced to the emergency stairs as his heavy feet clanged against the metal. Soap followed, optimizing the steps on edges to gain on him. Going up the rooftops was his biggest mistake.

"Bollocks, he's still running!" he announced as he felt his ears crackling.

"Well…. st….by…. do….airs.." His earpiece crackled through the static. It's recovering but they're already far off MacMillan's truck where their line connected.

He leaped. Soap almost stopped in his tracks as the runner courageously leapt across the huge gap and rolled on to the next building. He braced himself and continued dashing across the roof and did a mighty leap, his arms circled like he was swimming and he carefully placed his feet to perform a proper land and rolled.

That's going to hurt as soon as the adrenaline fades, but he quickly got up and made use of his remaining burst of energy.

The runner stopped in his tracks as soon as Roach emerged from the opposite fire escape, raising a pistol pointed straight at him as he raised his hand in surrender.

"Nowhere to run now." Roach said, cautiously walking near him. He's aware that his phone is still inside his pocket and that they had no idea when it'll go off again.

He didn't talk, but he looked panicked. He was sweating all over and his face was beyond recognizable. It looked like he's out of options.

"Tell us Where Shepherd is…" Gary pointed the loaded gun on his head, the desperation in Gary's eyes were obvious.

"There's an abandoned plane graveyard near Afghanistan…" he whimpered. His voice was shaky enough to warrant the truth.

"What's he doing there?" Soap added.

"He's trading the blueprints for the I.P. Address… Please that's all I know" he begged and they quickly left the place, walking back to MacMillan's car.

"You got something?" Ghost asked as soon as Roach's feet landed on the dark alley.

"A place. In Afghanistan." Roach answered.

"And he also had the I.P. Address.." Soap added.

"But that's impossible… didn't Samantha already forget about it?" Ghost asked but there was a quiet pause. Their brains almost looked like working together.

"Holy Crap." Roach finally broke the silence.

And from that moment they realized the other reason behind Samantha's memory returning. One way or another, her memories were once again toyed with.

"So how was it?" Price asked the team that ran off to chase the runner.

"We got an address. An abandoned plane yard in Afghanistan." Roach replied. Soap turned to Alex as he sat at the back of the jeep tending to his wound.

"You okay mate?" he asked walking close to his ally, who was wincing in pain.

"The guy's boots are heavy." He chuckled and so did Soap.

"Listen, Alex. We heard that Shepherd has the I P. address, did Samantha tell you anything about remembering it?" Soap asked as the whole team fell silent and turned to the two.

"Not really. What's bothered me is that she remembers everything except after when Shepherd explained his plans to her… Could it be that…" Alex trailed.

"She remembered because they undid their operation on her…" Jack continued. The whole group stood in silence.

Price's phone rang and delivered them with more bad news. It looked like while chasing the runner, Shepherd had caught wind of their activity and had some of London police scour the nearby streets for them.

"Da, It's time to go, my comrades." Nikolai announced as soon as Price relayed the message. Their ride home was compromised.

"Where to?" He asked.

"I know a place." Soap said.

TRAIN STATION

It looked like Soap's hunch was right. None of the people onboard to Scotland mind about the faces of the fugitives flashed on the news recently.

Their day packs had reserved clothes and they opted to change to something more civilian. Soap could smell the fabric conditioner France used to wash his newly bought clothes and couldn't help but miss her. If they weren't on a rush, Soap could've topped up for international calls.

"How long is this trip? 7 hours?" Price asked a civilian with surprised expressions.

"Wow. It's like a plane ride, but I'm still in the same country!" Jack cackled at the idea. He does have a different sense of humor. Just as Alex described him.

The rest of the team took this time to rest, they sat on the emptiest part of the train, away from the people that might recognize them and report their presence.

"I've contacted Samantha. It looks like they're having a small problem over there." Alex said.

"Someone saw one of us fugitives and tried to get inside the house to claim his bounty. At first they just talked him off but he's persistent now. So they decided to fly to our location and regroup there. And Soap, where exactly are we going?" Alex asked. Soap took a careful look around his team and felt nervous about his decision.

"Our old house. In Scotland. It's far off civilization. I think no one would look for us there." he muttered, gaining a nod from Price and Jack. Soap sighed in relief as soon as they thought of it as a good idea. Roach actually felt excited despite having to go there by train for seven hours. He immediately made that decision a few minutes ago without anyone's approval, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Hey, you three… Thanks for chasing that runner while we were out. Go catch some sleep. We'll watch over this train. It's going to be a long trip." Price nudged and Jack nodded. Soap gave a pair of earbuds to Price, the old man immediately looked at him with question.

"What's this? A hearing aid?" Price asked.

"Our runner wore that so it might be the reason he wasn't affected by his own blast." He muttered before crossing his arms.

"Thanks, mate. I'll let someone have a look at this." Price nodded and Jack immediately inserted with a suggestion.

"I know someone near Glasgow. A close friend of mine."

"That's great. He's closer." Price agreed and Soap slowly drifted himself asleep, trying to rest his tired legs all while also trying not to worry about Francine.

GLASGOW, SCOTLAND

The never shifting scenery of the road home sent John MacTavish into a little nostalgia trip. The sound of trains screeching across the station reminded him of so many things from the past. The road they're walking along now was the same road he's walked on everyday of his life, and now after a lot of years, he can't believe he's back.

"I don't see anything nearby, are you sure we're not lost Soap?" Roach asked.

"We aren't. The house is just obstructed by the trees. They've grown taller since I last left." he replied enthusiastically. He looked obviously excited to see his home.

As soon as they reached the short curve, a huge cream-painted house greeted them from the distance. He could hear Alex and Roach's collective oohs and aahs every step they took closer.

"When you said old, I was really expecting it to be abandoned." Roach mused.

"It is, actually. My parents are off… somewhere else." he replied leading the way inside the house. The pool was already dirty and most weeds already outgrew the fences.

Soap pushed the huge wooden double door open and was greeted by the same visage of their entrance way back when he was a kid. Same pictures hung on the walls of his adventures as a kid up to the recent photo of his graduation. His mom was always proud of him no matter what, but he couldn't forget the way she looked at him once he chose to enlist to the riskiest job ever.

The rest of the team helped themselves to discovering the inside of the house, looking at photos, sitting on the couches and grabbing a glass of water. Soap quickly gave them a tour of the house and that they're free to pick a guest room of their choice. It was appropriate that they'd feel comfortable after a tough day.

"Nice place you got here, comrade. Why'd you give this all up for a life that's always hanging on the ledge?" Nikolai asked, tapping his shoulder.

"I don't even know." he muttered and Nikolai chuckled, making his way to the living room. The team was quick to adapt to the place. Roach and Ghost already chose their rooms and he assumed they already attempted to recover while the three older men gathered around the television and watched the news. Alex was by the telephone, probably contacting Samantha. He wanted to check on France himself, so he planned to go to his room and make a call.

"The New York attack stopped." Price discussed with Nikolai and Jack, the three began speculating about a lot of things. Soap would love to join in the conversation but he decided to update on Francine first.

His room looked the same as when he left, the same shade of blue wallpaper, the same color sheets that were changed weekly and the same things on top of his bedside drawer.

Dialing her number, which he subconsciously memorized, he immediately placed the receiver on his ear and anxiously waited for her to pick up the phone.

"Hello?" her voice sounded different over the phone, but it still sent shivers across his spine as soon as he heard it.

"Hey. It's me." he replied.

"Angelo?" she asked, her voice almost sounded like she's fighting herself not to laugh.

"It's John."

"I know, silly. Who would mistake you for anyone else with that accent." she retorted.

"Do ya like it?" he teased, making sure he emphasized his Scottish accent well.

"Why'd you call?" She changed the topic. She wasn't budging on his teasing, but he knew she's already blushing on the other side of the line.

"Did Price give you the landing coordinates?" he asked.

"Yeah. Maxine looked it up on the map. It looks like a shady house in the middle of nowhere. Who are you?" she joked.

"Great. I'll see you here. I-" he hesitated. He wanted to tell her how much he misses her. But even with his oozing confidence, he felt like chickening out this time.

"Yeah. We're on our way. Take care out there John." She said and dropped the call. Soap sighed and plopped himself on his bed, deeply sighing at his actions. This girl was making him crazy… and the funny thing is he's all fine with it.

Next Chapter : Going Dark - Part 3

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio @beemybee @whimsywispsblog @ricinbach

#horrayfic #codmw #john soap mactavish #john price #simon ghost riley #alex echo 3 1 #gary roach sanderson #whateverittakes

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welllpthisishappening · 3 years

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Welllp This is...Books. Lots and Lots of Books

That gif is something of a lie. Some of these books were not great. But! Some of them were very good! And some of them were marketed weird — seriously, what does qualify as YA — and some of them I read in, like, six hours and some of them I raged about for six hours after I finished them.

Or: 2020!Laura reverted to 2004!Laura and read just a lot of books and then her husband got her a Kindle and she read even more books and has thoughts on most of those books that she is now going to share with the internet while also making absurd category names. Note that these are only books I read for the first time this year. So, the list is missing some of the stuff I used as coping devices. ALSO SOME SPOILERS AHEAD, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

FAVORITE BOOKS THAT MADE A SHITTY YEAR SLIGHTLY BETTER AND ALSO LIKELY MADE ME SWOON A BIT

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

When nineteen-year-old huntress Feyre kills a wolf in the woods, a terrifying creature arrives to demand retribution. Dragged to a treacherous magical land she knows about only from legends, Feyre discovers that her captor is not truly a beast, but one of the lethal, immortal faeries who once ruled her world.

At least, he's not a beast all the time.

As she adapts to her new home, her feelings for the faerie, Tamlin, transform from icy hostility into a fiery passion that burns through every lie she's been told about the beautiful, dangerous world of the Fae. But something is not right in the faerie lands. An ancient, wicked shadow is growing, and Feyre must find a way to stop it, or doom Tamlin-and his world-forever.

— I kid you not, I had to do a lap around the apartment after reading the second book in this series. Why didn’t I read this before? Why isn’t there more fic? Why I am constantly falling for dark-haired sad dudes in love with their wives??? I cannot rec this series enough. It’s got world building and found families, and that dark-haired sad dude, and magic and lore and banter, and it’s so good and I don’t understand why it was marketed as YA. The literary world is weird, guys.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians (and the Heroes of Olympus) by Rick Riordan

Accompany the son of the sea god Poseidon and his other demigod friends as they go on a series of quests that will have them facing monsters, gods, and conniving figures from Greek mythology. Do they have what it takes to save the Olympians from an ancient enemy?

— Straight up, how did you guys cope with Percy and Annabeth when you were kids reading this? I would have been OBSESSED. Quarantine felt like the perfect time to finally read all of these books, and I know it’s sacrilegious to like Heroes of Olympus, but I might have liked parts of that series more? Just because it felt like they were older and I was super into Percabeth being properly in love. Also, now I get why everyone was so upset about the movies. Fair.

The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl. . . .Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.

— Yet another YA series that I will admit to loving this year. Started off a little slow, but once the world building really got underway —and it gets underway — I was hooked. If I had read this at an age-appropriate time I would have been super in love Captain Carswell Thorne. I was still kind of in love with Captan Carswell Thorne. So it should come as no surprise that Cress was my favorite of the series, but I enjoyed the whole thing, really.

Serpent & Dove by Shelby Mahurin

Two years ago, Louise le Blanc fled her coven and took shelter in the city of Cesarine, forsaking all magic and living off whatever she could steal. There, witches like Lou are hunted. They are feared. And they are burned.As a huntsman of the Church, Reid Diggory has lived his life by one principle: Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. But when Lou pulls a wicked stunt, the two are forced into an impossible situation—marriage.Lou, unable to ignore her growing feelings, yet powerless to change what she is, must make a choice. And love makes fools of us all.

— YO. Y O. THIS WAS SO GOOD. World building! Magic! Marriage of convenience! Well-written enemies to lovers! As soon as I finished this, I bought the sequel. And then got upset the third book in the series isn’t out yet! That’s a frustrating theme for me this year.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan

The Wheatons are infamous among the east coast elite for their lack of impulse control, except for their daughter Clara. She's the consummate socialite: over-achieving, well-mannered, predictable. But every Wheaton has their weakness. When Clara's childhood crush invites her to move cross-country, the offer is too much to resist. Unfortunately, it's also too good to be true.

After a bait-and-switch, Clara finds herself sharing a lease with a charming stranger. Josh might be a bit too perceptive—not to mention handsome—for comfort, but there's a good chance he and Clara could have survived sharing a summer sublet if she hadn't looked him up on the Internet...

Once she learns how Josh has made a name for himself, Clara realizes living with him might make her the Wheaton's most scandalous story yet. His professional prowess inspires her to take tackling the stigma against female desire into her own hands. They may not agree on much, but Josh and Clara both believe women deserve better sex. What they decide to do about it will change both of their lives, and if they're lucky, they'll help everyone else get lucky too.

— I LOVED IT. L O V E D. As I told Justin “there was more porn than I was expecting,” in that porn and the adult film industry was a legitimate plot point and not just a part of Josh’s character, but it was incredibly well written and interesting and I cared about the plot. Sometimes I also wanted to shake Clara, but that was kind of the point.

The Marriage Game by Sara Desai

After her life falls apart, recruitment consultant Layla Patel returns home to her family in San Francisco. But in the eyes of her father, who runs a Michelin starred restaurant, she can do no wrong. He would do anything to see her smile again. With the best intentions in mind, he offers her the office upstairs to start her new business and creates a profile on an online dating site to find her a man. She doesn't know he's arranged a series of blind dates until the first one comes knocking on her door...

As CEO of a corporate downsizing company Sam Mehta is more used to conflict than calm. In search of a quiet new office, he finds the perfect space above a cozy Indian restaurant that smells like home. But when communication goes awry, he's forced to share his space with the owner's beautiful yet infuriating daughter Layla, her crazy family, and a parade of hopeful suitors, all of whom threaten to disrupt his carefully ordered life.

As they face off in close quarters, the sarcasm and sparks fly. But when the battle for the office becomes a battle of the heart, Sam and Layla have to decide if this is love or just a game.

— More well-written enemies to lovers! It’s possible! Seriously, the banter was so good. The kissing was even better. Ridiculous and interfering family is one of my favorite things, and this had it in SPADES. It also made me want to eat samosas, which is kind of my base setting, but I really wanted Indian food whenever I was reading this. Also, the end scene was so goddamn cute I cannot believe it actually happened.

Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev

— The one that got away is one of my favorite tropes, and this modern version of Persuasion did it so well. Everyone was annoying, but in an almost understandable way that made me ache and I just wanted them TO KISS. And then they did kiss! And it was so good! Plus, at the risk of being a little self-indulgent, it was kind of Out of the Frying Pan esque and I liked that a lot. If there is a downside: it’s how quickly the relationship starts up again, like zero to 60 in two seconds flat, and that there were a lot of POVs. Which wouldn’t have been an issue if they’d been labeled, or weren’t bouncing around the timeline randomly. Sometimes I’d have to be like—wait, who’s talking about what?

Chef Ashna Raje desperately needs a new strategy. How else can she save her beloved restaurant and prove to her estranged, overachieving mother that she isn't a complete screw up? When she's asked to join the cast of Cooking with the Stars, the latest hit reality show teaming chefs with celebrities, it seems like just the leap of faith she needs to put her restaurant back on the map. She's a chef, what's the worst that could happen?Rico Silva, that's what.Being paired with a celebrity who was her first love, the man who ghosted her at the worst possible time in her life, only proves what Ashna has always believed: leaps of faith are a recipe for disaster.FIFA winning soccer star Rico Silva isn't too happy to be paired up with Ashna either. Losing Ashna years ago almost destroyed him. The only silver lining to this bizarre situation is that he can finally prove to Ashna that he's definitely over her.But when their catastrophic first meeting goes viral, social media becomes obsessed with their chemistry. The competition on the show is fierce...and so is the simmering desire between Ashna and Rico. Every minute they spend together rekindles feelings that pull them toward their disastrous past. Will letting go again be another recipe for heartbreak—or a recipe for persuasion...?

The Good Luck Charm by Helena Hunting

Lilah isn't sure what hurt worse: the day Ethan left her to focus on his hockey career or the day he came back eight years later. He might think they can pick up just where they left off, but she's no longer that same girl and never wants to be again.

Just when Lilah might finally be ready to let Ethan in, though, she finds out their reunion might have nothing to do with love and everything to do with improving his game. But Ethan's already lost her once, and even if it costs him his career, he'll do anything to keep from losing her again.

— HOCKEY ROM COM. HOCKEY. ROM. COM. Apparently this lady is regarded as the queen of “hockey romance,” which I kind of take offense to, but will give a pass on because this was a very cute book and everyone was cute in it and I was only marginally frustrated by those same people being idiots. As is required by rom coms. Hockey, or otherwise.

A Curse So Dark and Lonely by Brigid Kemmerer

Fall in love, break the curse. It once seemed so easy to Prince Rhen, the heir to Emberfall. Cursed by a powerful enchantress to repeat the autumn of his eighteenth year over and over, he knew he could be saved if a girl fell for him. But that was before he learned that at the end of each autumn, he would turn into a vicious beast hell-bent on destruction. That was before he destroyed his castle, his family, and every last shred of hope.

Nothing has ever been easy for Harper. With her father long gone, her mother dying, and her brother barely holding their family together while constantly underestimating her because of her cerebral palsy, she learned to be tough enough to survive. But when she tries to save someone else on the streets of Washington, DC, she's instead somehow sucked into Rhen's cursed world.

Break the curse, save the kingdom. A prince? A monster? A curse? Harper doesn't know where she is or what to believe. But as she spends time with Rhen in this enchanted land, she begins to understand what's at stake. And as Rhen realizes Harper is not just another girl to charm, his hope comes flooding back. But powerful forces are standing against Emberfall . . . and it will take more than a broken curse to save Harper, Rhen, and his people from utter ruin.

— Beauty and the Beast AU!!! Fantasy! Magic! Romance! I loved this, even when Rhen was being a whiny idiot. But he was also cursed, so like—fair. This dives into the politics of a cursed kingdom, puts a fun spin on the original fairy tale and also has a sequel. Which I read, and possibly enjoyed more. Only to realize the third book isn’t published yet, and then got annoyed by that.

QUESTIONABLY-GOOD FREE FANTASY BOOKS ON AMAZON

The Silver and Orchids Collection by Shari L Tapscott

What happens when a feisty adventuress, a lord looking to make his own way in the world, and a handsome sea captain set out to find Kalae’s rarest and most valuable flower?

Trouble—and lots of it.

— Snarky flirting! Adventure! Sword fights! Listen, this is not prize-winning fiction, but Lucia is a fun heroine, the rest of her adventure-seeking friends are an absolute delight and you don’t have to think too much while reading it. All four books wrap up their individual storylines, but help set up the next one and while the ending felt a little forced (and way too quick) I didn’t hate it enough to throw the Kindle across the room.

Forest of Firelight by Shari L. Tapscsott

After the sudden death of her brother, Princess Amalia is charged with what feels like an impossible task—she must choose the next king. Youthful thoughts of love are pushed aside as she accepts her fate, setting upon a quest throughout the kingdom to find a man worthy of her father’s throne.

Little does Amalia know, someone has already set his sights on her.

Rhys is a man of secrets, and his mission is simple: befriend the princess of Renove. Coax her to trust him, convince her to follow him.

Betray her when it’s time.

All goes according to plan until Rhys meets the princess. Amalia is a disaster. Never has he met someone so drawn to trouble. Never has he met someone so irritatingly likable.

He’s not allowed to fall for her.

She could never entrust him with a crown.

But, unbeknownst to them, their unlikely partnership might be the key to saving their entire world from a darkness that’s slowly creeping from the wounded earth that separates one kingdom from the next.

— FORBIDDEN LOVE! It’s good! Real good! I read this whole series (or the three books in it, so far) in a questionably short amount of time. Again, not the deepest story, and Amalia is occasionally frustratingly dumb. While Rhys is also sort of all-knowing in that fantasy hero sort of way? Y’know what I mean? Still, they banter very well, and eventually kiss even better.

LESS GOOD FANTASY BOOKS THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN AVAILABLE FOR FREE ON AMAZON

Ash Princess by Laura Sebastian

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the Kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess—a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner.

For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the Kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside.

Then, one night, the Kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield.

For ten years, the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here.

— I wanted to love this series. So much so that I read the whole thing. All three books. And I’m still not sure why. The world building, maybe. Which was very good, and the politics actually kept me interested, but every single character was the absolute worst and I kind of wanted them all to die. That’s not even an exaggeration. Spoiler, they didn’t all die. I was only marginally disappointed.

Daughter of the Pirate King by Tricia Levenseller

When the ruthless Pirate King learns of a legendary treasure map hidden on an enemy ship, his daughter, Alosa, knows that there's only one pirate for the job—herself. Leaving behind her beloved ship and crew, Alosa deliberately facilitates her own kidnapping to ensure her passage on the enemy ship. After all, who's going to suspect a seventeen-year-old girl locked in a cell?Then she meets the (surprisingly perceptive and unfairly attractive) first mate, Riden, who is charged with finding out all her secrets. Now it's down to a battle of wits and will... Can Alosa find the map and escape before Riden figures out her plan?

— Alosa was kind of the worst? Like, STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER who had to keep reminding you how strong she was because she would kill anyone, and had an all female pirate crew. And the whole time I was just like, ok...cool. Still, I read the sequel too and that was slightly better.

The Shadows Between Us by Tricia Levenseller

Alessandra is tired of being overlooked, but she has a plan to gain power:

1) Woo the Shadow King.

2) Marry him.

3) Kill him and take his kingdom for herself.

No one knows the extent of the freshly crowned Shadow King's power. Some say he can command the shadows that swirl around him to do his bidding. Others say they speak to him, whispering the thoughts of his enemies. Regardless, Alessandra knows what she deserves, and she's going to do everything within her power to get it.

But Alessandra's not the only one trying to kill the king. As attempts on his life are made, she finds herself trying to keep him alive long enough for him to make her his queen—all while struggling not to lose her heart. After all, who better for a Shadow King than a cunning, villainous queen?

— I cannot explain this book any way except to tell you it is so weird. Like, sometimes I remember I read this and all I can think is: why did this book happen? It felt like it started in the middle of the story, which is not a knock on the story itself, but mostly on the world building. Which was lacking to say the least. Also the resolution was super rushed and even more weird and I was like—why does he like her??? I still don’t know, honestly.

The Stars We Steal by Alexa Donne

Engagement season is in the air. Eighteen-year-old Princess Leonie "Leo" Kolburg, heir to a faded European spaceship, has only one thing on her mind: which lucky bachelor can save her family from financial ruin?

But when Leo's childhood friend and first love, Elliot, returns as the captain of a successful whiskey ship, everything changes. Elliot was the one who got away, the boy Leo's family deemed to be unsuitable for marriage. Now he's the biggest catch of the season and he seems determined to make Leo's life miserable. But old habits die hard, and as Leo navigates the glittering balls of the Valg Season, she finds herself falling for her first love in a game of love, lies, and past regrets.

— Another book whose lack of world building hurt it. Stuff just happened, and we were expected to understand it and be into it and I was neither. I had no reason to care about anyone in this book, especially Elliot who seemed like an asshole.

To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Princess Lira is siren royalty and the most lethal of them all. With the hearts of seventeen princes in her collection, she is revered across the sea. Until a twist of fate forces her to kill one of her own. To punish her daughter, the Sea Queen transforms Lira into the one thing they loathe most—a human. Robbed of her song, Lira has until the winter solstice to deliver Prince Elian's heart to the Sea Queen and or remain a human forever.The ocean is the only place Prince Elian calls home, even though he is heir to the most powerful kingdom in the world. Hunting sirens is more than an unsavory hobby—it's his calling. When he rescues a drowning woman in the ocean, she's more than what she appears. She promises to help him find the key to destroying all of sirenkind for good—But can he trust her? And just how many deals will Elian have to barter to eliminate mankind's greatest enemy?

— This book did not go the way I thought it was going to. Not a bad thing, but also not the best and the ending was...bleh. The middle, though? That was legit, and the action was good. I am always a fan of sword fights. Still, there was something that left me waiting for the final push towards great and it just never really came.

ROM-COMS WITH ONLY PASSABLY FRUSTRATING PLOTS AND GOOD KISSING

Party of Two by Jasmine Guillory

Dating is the last thing on Olivia Monroe's mind when she moves to LA to start her own law firm. But when she meets a gorgeous man at a hotel bar and they spend the entire night flirting, she discovers too late that he is none other than hotshot junior senator Max Powell. Olivia has zero interest in dating a politician, but when a cake arrives at her office with the cutest message, she can't resist—it is chocolate cake, after all.

Olivia is surprised to find that Max is sweet, funny, and noble—not just some privileged white politician, as she assumed him to be. Because of Max's high-profile job, they start seeing each other secretly, which leads to clandestine dates and silly disguises. But when they finally go public, the intense media scrutiny means people are now digging up her rocky past and criticizing her job, even her suitability as a trophy girlfriend. Olivia knows what she has with Max is something special, but is it strong enough to survive the heat of the spotlight?

— It was cute. Max was occasionally an idiot. The kissing was legit. Most of their problems could have very easily been solved, but that’s kind of this genre’s schtick.

The Worst Best Man by Mia Sosa

A wedding planner left at the altar? Yeah, the irony isn't lost on Carolina Santos, either. But despite that embarrassing blip from her past, Lina's offered an opportunity that could change her life. There's just one hitch... she has to collaborate with the best (make that worst) man from her own failed nuptials. Marketing expert Max Hartley is determined to make his mark with a coveted hotel client looking to expand its brand. Then he learns he'll be working with his brother's whip-smart, stunning—absolutely off-limits—ex-fiancée. And she loathes him.If they can nail their presentation without killing each other, they'll both come out ahead. Except Max has been public enemy number one ever since he encouraged his brother to jilt the bride, and Lina's ready to dish out a little payback of her own.Soon Lina and Max discover animosity may not be the only emotion creating sparks between them. Still, this star-crossed couple can never be more than temporary playmates because Lina isn't interested in falling in love and Max refuses to play runner-up to his brother ever again...

— Once you got past the hooking up with your ex’s brother thing, it was cute. Max was endearing in an earnest sort of way, even when Lina was STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER in a cliche sort of way. More solid kissing. Side note, why are so many rom com dudes named Max? Does it sound hip? Passably cool, but also approachable? Discuss.

Not that Kind of Guy by Andie J. Christopher

State attorney Bridget Nolan is successful in all aspects of her life—except romance. After breaking up with her longtime boyfriend, she's been slow to reenter the dating scene. To be honest, she has more important things to do like putting bad guys behind bars. But with her brother's wedding right around the corner, she suddenly needs a date and fast. Lucky for Bridget, the legal intern is almost done with his program.

Matt Kido is dumbstruck by Bridget—total love at first sight—but there's one problem. She's totally off-limits while she's his boss. But the moment he no longer reports to her, Matt asks her on a date. An impulsive decision takes them to Las Vegas where, as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Unless you put a ring on it.

— Having written the “wake up in Vegas married” trope before, I know it’s difficult to do right. Consent’s a thing, y’know? And stuff gets dicy with forgotten memories, and all that, but mostly what kept me from truly loving this book was the intern thing. Don’t date your interns guys, it’s weird and off-putting. Literally if he’d just been a junior partner, or a visiting partner or something else I would have been all in.

Meet Cute by Helena Hunting

Kailyn Flowers was always calm, rational, and controlled—until she ended up sprawled all over Daxton Hughes, the former actor she totally crushed on as a teenager. Then she did the unthinkable: She became a mortifying fangirl in five seconds flat, which may or may not have included professing her undying love. And oddly, he didn't run away. In fact, their meet cute led to a friendship she never saw coming. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming, either...Now Dax needs her help. As guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister, he's in way over his head. And though Kailyn hasn't forgiven Dax, she isn't heartless enough to make him fend for himself, either. Soon their friendly meetings turn into flirty dinner dates, and Kailyn can feel their chemistry is as explosive as ever. But how can she possibly let down her guard again to a guy who has heartbreak written all over him?

— Once again here for the one that got away trope, even if this comes with dead parents and some sad storylines. It still managed to be cute. Everyone was cute in it. Occasionally Daxton was a dick. As rom com male leads are apt to be.

If I Never Met You by Mhairi McFarlane

If faking love is this easy... how do you know when it's real?When her partner of over a decade suddenly ends things, Laurie is left reeling—not only because they work at the same law firm and she has to see him every day. Her once perfect life is in shambles and the thought of dating again in the age of Tinder is nothing short of horrifying. When news of her ex's pregnant girlfriend hits the office grapevine, taking the humiliation lying down is not an option. Then a chance encounter in a broken-down elevator with the office playboy opens up a new possibility.Jamie Carter doesn't believe in love, but he needs a respectable, steady girlfriend to impress their bosses. Laurie wants a hot new man to give the rumor mill something else to talk about. It's the perfect proposition: a fauxmance played out on social media, with strategically staged photographs and a specific end date in mind. With the plan hatched, Laurie and Jamie begin to flaunt their new couple status, to the astonishment—and jealousy—of their friends and colleagues. But there's a fine line between pretending to be in love and actually falling for your charming, handsome fake boyfriend...

— FAKE DATING THAT LEADS TO REAL FEELINGS. The ex-boyfriend was an assssss, the fake boyfriend was charming, everything was good AND THEN WE GOT TO THE END. Which felt more than a little rushed, unexpected and not really in line with the rest of the book?? Give ‘em a slightly better, in-character ending, and I would have been sold.

BOOKS THAT I WAS LIKE...EH, OK

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.

But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway: a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them both, this is a game in which only one can be left standing. Despite the high stakes, Celia and Marco soon tumble headfirst into love, setting off a domino effect of dangerous consequences, and leaving the lives of everyone, from the performers to the patrons, hanging in the balance.

— I think this book was too smart for me. The prose was gorgeous, and the whole thing was very pretty and I definitely swooned when Marco said he wished for Celia. And yet. By the end I was like...eh, ok. Maybe it was the timeline? Jumping around, or how little dialogue there was. I wanted to like it all so badly, and I’m just not sure I did.

Acting on Impulse by Mia Sosa

After a very public breakup with a media-hungry politician, fitness trainer Tori Alvarez escapes to Aruba for rest, relaxation, and copious amounts of sex on the beach—the cocktail, that is. She vows to keep her vacation a man-free zone but when a cute guy is seated next to her on the plane, Tori can't resist a little harmless flirting.Hollywood heartthrob Carter Stone underwent a dramatic physical transformation for his latest role and it's clear his stunning seat mate doesn't recognize the man beneath the shaggy beard and extra lean frame. Now Carter needs help rebuilding his buff physique and Tori is perfect for the job. It doesn't hurt that she makes his pulse pound in more ways than one.Sparks are flying, until a pesky paparazzo reveals Carter's identity. Tori is hurt and pissed. She wants nothing to do with another man in the limelight, but she's still got to whip him into shape. Can Carter convince Tori he's worth the threat to her privacy that comes with dating a famous actor, or will Tori chisel him down to nothing before he even gets the chance?

— Dudes have gotta stop lying about who they are. It’s not a great trope. Other than that, the kissing was good. The romance was like...eh. I honestly don’t remember much else.

Twice in a Blue Moon by Christina Lauren

During a whirlwind two-week vacation abroad, Sam and Tate fell for each other in only the way that first loves do: sharing all of their hopes, dreams, and deepest secrets along the way. Sam was the first, and only, person that Tate—the long-lost daughter of one of the world's biggest film stars—ever revealed her identity to. So when it became clear her trust was misplaced, her world shattered for good.

Fourteen years later, Tate, now an up-and-coming actress, only thinks about her first love every once in a blue moon. When she steps onto the set of her first big break, he's the last person she expects to see. Yet here Sam is, the same charming, confident man she knew, but even more alluring than she remembered. Forced to confront the man who betrayed her, Tate must ask herself if it's possible to do the wrong thing for the right reason... and whether "once in a lifetime" can come around twice.

— This book was...weird. The early romance was wonderful and delightful, but then shit hit the fan and Sam and Tate are adults and...weird. Like, I cannot come up with another word for it. Also, they didn’t really talk much? As adults? Working on the same movie set? W e i r d.

I Owe You One by Sophie Kinsella

Fixie Farr has always lived by her father’s motto: “Family first.” And since her dad passed away, leaving his charming housewares store in the hands of his wife and children, Fixie spends all her time picking up the slack from her siblings instead of striking out on her own. The way Fixie sees it, if she doesn’t take care of her father’s legacy, who will?

It’s simply not in Fixie’s nature to say no to people. So when a handsome stranger in a coffee shop asks her to watch his laptop for a moment, she not only agrees—she ends up saving it from certain disaster. To thank Fixie for her quick thinking, the computer’s owner, Sebastian, an investment manager, scribbles an IOU on a coffee sleeve and attaches his business card. Fixie laughs it off—she’d never actually claim an IOU from a stranger. Would she?

But then Fixie’s childhood crush, Ryan, comes back into her life, and his lack of a profession pushes all of Fixie’s buttons. As always, she wants nothing for herself—but she’d love Seb to give Ryan a job. No sooner has Seb agreed than the tables are turned once more and a new series of IOUs between Seb and Fixie—from small favors to life-changing moments—ensues. Soon Fixie, Ms. Fixit for everyone else, is torn between her family and the life she really wants. Does she have the courage to take a stand? Will she finally grab the life, and love, she really wants?

— Let’s be upfront, I’ve read a lot of Sophie Kinsella in my life, and more often than not I enjoy what she writes. I mostly did here. It was a book. With obvious rom com problems, that could have very easily been solved, but it wasn’t horrible. So, that was good, I guess.

The Wedding Party by Jasmine Guillory

Maddie and Theo have two things in common:

1. Alexa is their best friend

2. They hate each other

After an "oops, we made a mistake" night together, neither one can stop thinking about the other. With Alexa's wedding rapidly approaching, Maddie and Theo both share bridal party responsibilities that require more interaction with each other than they're comfortable with. Underneath the sharp barbs they toss at each other is a simmering attraction that won't fade. It builds until they find themselves sneaking off together to release some tension when Alexa isn't looking, agreeing they would end it once the wedding is over. When it's suddenly pushed up and they only have a few months left of secret rendezvouses, they find themselves regretting that the end is near. Two people this different can't possibly have a connection other than the purely physical, right?

But as with any engagement with a nemesis, there are unspoken rules that must be abided by. First and foremost, don't fall in love.

— Eh, this book happened. I still have no idea why they couldn’t be together from the get. Obstacles for the sake of plot, I guess. Also political side stories? I don’t know, guys.

WEIRD POST-ENDING FEELINGS WERE INDUCED

Beach Read by Emily Henry

Augustus Everett is an acclaimed author of literary fiction. January Andrews writes bestselling romance. When she pens a happily ever after, he kills off his entire cast.

They're polar opposites.

In fact, the only thing they have in common is that for the next three months, they're living in neighboring beach houses, broke, and bogged down with writer's block.

Until, one hazy evening, one thing leads to another and they strike a deal designed to force them out of their creative ruts: Augustus will spend the summer writing something happy, and January will pen the next Great American Novel. She'll take him on field trips worthy of any rom-com montage, and he'll take her to interview surviving members of a backwoods death cult (obviously). Everyone will finish a book and no one will fall in love. Really.

— Listen, I enjoyed this a lot. For the most part. It was funny, and introspective in a way that didn’t make me want to gag too much, and I wanted to defend January’s love of love with everything in me. But, then it—ended. And it was like...all tied up with this nice little ribbon and happily ever after, and I was like...oh, ok. Part of me that it was glad it ended like that, mostly because of who I am as a person, but the rest of me was also confused that after everything January and Augustus had been through and how messy their lives were it could just get all wrapped up in this HEA.

HITTING JUST A BIT TOO CLOSE TO HOME

Spoiler Alert by Olivia Dade

Marcus Caster-Rupp has a secret. The world may know him as Aeneas, star of the biggest show on television, but fanfiction readers call him something else: Book!AeneasWouldNever. Marcus gets out his frustrations with the show through anonymous stories about the internet's favorite couple, Aeneas and Lavinia. But if anyone discovered his online persona, he'd be finished in Hollywood.April Whittier has secrets of her own. A hardcore Lavinia fan, she's long hidden her fanfic and cosplay hobbies from her "real life"—but not anymore. When she dares to post her latest costume creation on Twitter, her plus-size take goes viral. And when Marcus asks her out to spite her internet critics, truth officially becomes stranger than fanfiction. On their date, Marcus quickly realizes he wants more from April than a one-time publicity stunt. But when he discovers she's Unapologetic Lavinia Stan, his closest fandom friend, he has one more huge secret to keep from her.With love and Marcus's career on the line, can the two of them stop hiding once and for all, or will a match made in fandom end up prematurely cancelled?

— Here for plus-size heroines who get the guy and don’t have their (entire) storyline defined by their looks. Less here for the weird fandom culture, the ensuing second-hand embarrassment that came from that and the thankfulness that both Colin O’Donoghue and Bob Morley appear to be happily married so it seems very unlikely they’re writing fic about their characters under pseudonyms. Stop using Ao3 in actual published stories 2k4ever.

RAGE-INDUCING BOOKS OF ABSOLUTE FURY

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Kristen Peterson doesn't do drama, will fight to the death for her friends, and has no room in her life for guys who just don't get her. She's also keeping a big secret: facing a medically necessary procedure that will make it impossible for her to have children.Planning her best friend's wedding is bittersweet for Kristen — especially when she meets the best man, Josh Copeland. He's funny, sexy, never offended by her mile-wide streak of sarcasm, and always one chicken enchilada ahead of her hangry. Even her dog, Stuntman Mike, adores him. The only catch: Josh wants a big family someday. Kristen knows he'd be better off with someone else, but as their attraction grows, it's harder and harder to keep him at arm's length.The Friend Zone will have you laughing one moment and grabbing for tissues the next as it tackles the realities of infertility and loss with wit, heart, and a lot of sass.

— LISTEN THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE, BUT I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THEM BECAUSE THIS BOOK IS A SECRET GUT PUNCH AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE AWARE. Not only is infertility, like, the defining theme of this book, but the BEST FRIEND DIES. Just—dies. It’s horrible. Absolutely God awful depressing. And for a second he looks like he won’t, and it’ll be fine, but then it is not and he’s just D E A D. I know, I know that sets up the sequel, but this was so goddamn heavy in an unsuspecting way that I have absolutely no intention of reading the next one.

Well Met by Jen DeLuca

Emily knew there would be strings attached when she relocated to the small town of Willow Creek, Maryland, for the summer to help her sister recover from an accident, but who could anticipate getting roped into volunteering for the local Renaissance Faire alongside her teenaged niece? Or that the irritating and inscrutable schoolteacher in charge of the volunteers would be so annoying that she finds it impossible to stop thinking about him?

The faire is Simon's family legacy and from the start he makes clear he doesn't have time for Emily's lighthearted approach to life, her oddball Shakespeare conspiracy theories, or her endless suggestions for new acts to shake things up. Yet on the faire grounds he becomes a different person, flirting freely with Emily when she's in her revealing wench's costume. But is this attraction real, or just part of the characters they're portraying?

This summer was only ever supposed to be a pit stop on the way to somewhere else for Emily, but soon she can't seem to shake the fantasy of establishing something more with Simon or a permanent home of her own in Willow Creek.

— FUCK THIS BOOK. And fuck Simon, specifically. Oh, you have a sad story? Cool, you’re still a dick. He was a dick. Listen, I know enemies to lovers is a hard trope to write, but it’s even harder to accept when those enemies just announce I LIKED YOU THE WHOLE TIME and then everyone starts ripping off their clothes. No, it’s dumb. I hate it. Apparently there’s a sequel to this book. Maybe that’s better.

Kiss My Cupcake by Helena Hunting

Blaire Calloway has planned every Instagram-worthy moment of her cupcake and cocktails shop launch down to the tiniest detail. What she didn't plan on? Ronan Knight and his old-school sports bar next door opening on the very same day. He may be super swoony, but Blaire hasn't spent years obsessing over buttercream and bourbon to have him ruin her chance at success.From axe throwing (his place) to frosting contests (hers), Blaire and Ronan are constantly trying to one-up each other in a battle to win new customers. But with every clash, there's also an undeniable chemistry. When an even bigger threat to their business comes to town, they're forced to call a temporary time-out on their own war and work together. And the more time Blaire spends getting to know the real Ronan, the more she wonders if it's possible to have her cupcake and eat it too.

— Listen, I wanted to like this one. There were plenty other Helena Hunting books on this list, so like—I don’t hate her. I just hate poorly executed enemies to lovers plot lines. Give me at least one moment where they are interested in each other aside from just being attracted to each other. Also: Stop Having Dudes Be Dicks Because Of Their Sad Backstory 2k4ever.

Don’t You Forget About Me by Mhairi McFarlane

You always remember your first love... don't you?If there's anything worse than being fired from the worst restaurant in town, it's coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way—bartender in a newly opened pub. There's only one problem: it's run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And—make that two problems—he doesn't remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat... what more could a girl really need?Lucas McCarthy has not only grown into a broodingly handsome man, but he's also turned into an actual grown-up, with a thriving business and a dog along the way. Crossing paths with him again throws Georgina's rocky present into sharp relief—and brings a secret from her past bubbling to the surface. Only she knows what happened twelve years ago, and why she's allowed the memories to chase her ever since. But maybe it's not too late for the truth... or a second chance with the one that got away?

— HE WAS JUST PRETENDING NOT TO REMEMBER HER THE WHOLE TIME???? WHAT?? WHY??? D U M B. Dumb boys are dumb.

Not the Girl You Marry by Andie J. Christopher

Jack Nolan is a gentleman, a journalist, and unlucky in love. His viral success has pigeon-holed him as the how-to guy for a buzzy, internet media company instead of covering hard-hitting politics. Fed up with his fluffy articles and the app-based dating scene as well, he strikes a deal with his boss to write a final piece de resistance: How to Lose a Girl. Easier said than done when the girl he meets is Hannah Mayfield, and he's not sure he wants her to dump him.

Hannah is an extremely successful event planner who's focused on climbing the career ladder. Her firm is one of the most prestigious in the city, and she's determined to secure her next promotion. But Hannah has a bit of an image problem. She needs to show her boss that she has range, including planning dreaded, romantic weddings. Enter Jack. He's the perfect man to date for a couple weeks to prove to her boss that she's not scared of feelings.

Before Jack and Hannah know it, their fake relationship starts to feel all too real—and neither of them can stand to lose each other.

— This is actually the prequel to Not That Kind of Guy and I honestly can’t believe I read that after hating this book so much. They were awful to each other! Their whole relationship was based on lies! Mean lies! Horrible lies! Don’t lie to your significant other!

#book recs #fiction recs #rom com recs #fantasy recs #or: i read solely fantasy and rom com books in 2020 #this does not include any david eddings or meg cabot rereads #which also happened #and i endorse them wholeheartedly too #if you have read any of these books PLEASE share your thoughts with me #i am desperate for them #or your own recs of what you read this year #laura reads books #welllp these are books

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a-trying-writer · 3 years

Text

cap stuff, because i want some happy juice that im happy to make for myself.

as i often wrote before, cap loves to pet kosch, but she also loves physical attention herself. no one knows why, not even herself, but she enjoys it. sometimes she purrs or sighs and/or sleeps on the person petting her. racter does this often to get her to stop having anxiety for a time, much to duncans chagrin.

cap is definitely a big eater, but she doesnt have an iron stomach like gobbet. still, the two do challenge each other over meals, and sometimes tries to pick each others meals, like uneaten fries or wings. more often than not, this leaves to a utensil fight, from chopsticks to forks and spoons. more often than not, no one wins, because they had spilled their meals.

cap enjoys challenging is0 in the matrix, even tho she knows that is0 is a master compared to her. she is kinda envious that is0 has huge servers in her room to do whatever she can, while cap has to rely on outdated software that she does try to tune up, despite the risks of it breaking. cap’s computer is also just a brick, but its still p useful. is0 doesnt mind helping her update it, tho some of the pieces dont fit the casing of the computer, so they have to do some further digging.

cap sucks at writing haikus, but she enjoys listening to gaichu recite them and japanese poems and books. tho she doesnt speak the language, she learns about some phrases and how they are valued in his culture. on a different note, being aware that he needs to eat people to sustain himself, she does feel very uncomfortable by it, due to her childhood trauma as the game states for seattle, which applies to her, but she does sometimes help hunt down the worst kind of people for him. otherwise, she minds her own business and stays away from that.

being siblings, cap and duncan are p cool with each other, sometimes getting into fist fights to practice, tho she is much smaller and lighter than him, ofc. he still helps her get better, even if she cant get the hang of it properly, buts its only for her to be safe than sorry. they also watch trideo programs together when they are bored, and joke around about it. esp around action flicks and dramas. (cap hates dramas funny enough, so she only watches them with duncan.)

cap enjoys hanging around heoi, to talk to some of the residents, or party in club 88. she is an awful dancer and singer, but its a blast. she also helps reliable matt with his drones by fixing them, thanks to racter teaching her. and while she doesnt approve of him using a chip to keep up a facade, she lets it be as long as it doesnt cause any harm. she also jokes around by calling him “beautiful” in return for all the times he said it to her.

since she is a decker much like is0, cap spends time around max law to scan through his wares, while bantering with him. she tends to forget he is a lot older than she thinks, so she tends to treat him like a younger brother or kid, before remembering that lil fact. they also talk about the journey to the west novels, and various adaptions, like video games, because of his boat that is referenced to the monkey king.

cap is p chill with ka fai family, and as i said before, enjoys partying in the club. tho, sometimes, if she becomes too rowdy, henry picks her up and drags her out where duncan waits for her to bring her back to the dowager empress. duncan is never surprised, but is often disappointed.

on a funny note, cap is frightened by both kindly and bao, so she never dares to enter the mahjong palor. the same could be said with crafty xu, but for a different reason. she adores xu, but the smell of sage gives her migraines and reminds her of her time in prison. otherwise, she does like to take a sneak peek at some of the books xu sends to her, and often talks about gobbet’s particular ways of cooking.

cap finds ambrose the most mysterious, given that what he says about himself, may or may not be entirely true. but at least he helps her and the crew a lot by supplying them with medicine. ofc, since she is sometimes up to shenanigans that leaves her with a few injuries, he is the one she always goes to, or has to go to, no matter how much she tries to assure the crew that she is all right. esp when she gets sick.

on a side note, tho it isnt canon to the game, but in my stories, cap often speaks to lucky strike, because of their relations to racter, and cap’s own past. there are some things lucky keeps secret, esp about bleak, caps old friend that went missing, if not had passed. its also hard for cap to hide that she finds lucky very attractive, but she believes its because some of her mannerisms reminds her of racter. thing is, she always has been attractive to the dangerous ones, much like how she was attracted to some of her exes in the past.

least to say, cap never really had a healthy relationship. but it is what it is, living the kind of life she has.

there are some things about lucky and cap that i might explore in the future, as i feel there is a lot of potential there, esp given her attitude in srd. but i need more dialogue refs of lucky to capture her character for them. im not too big of a fan to get back into srd, but ill be glad to do it for those refs, and other things, so i can get a better idea on how to write her. but this is a huge if.

[maybe ill write some rac/cap/lucky bits, because im starting to ship lucky and ract, but i deeply loathe the love triangle trope. and i never like the idea of cheating relationships, plus, ract did say that leaving their old crew made lucky hate his guts to the point that she was howling for blood. im not one to write unhealthy relationships unless there is a point to it. i also keep thinking its canon for some reason, but racter cant connect with someone like that, tho i do think its entirely possible for him to had slept with a few people, lucky included... hm. i guess it depends on how i feel about it... sometimes, tho, i feel like im obligated to write it too. like, is this what people want? i wont lie, i did touch up on this sort of thing before, but only between lucky and cap, but it was entirely consensual between cap and ract to allow her to spend time with lucky. and cap is something of a saucy individual. im okay with poly/open relationships, only because its the best alt than cheating couples and stupid love triangles... tho, in this case, i assume lucky nor racter connect with people like that. well, i appreciate any thoughts about this, tbh. i know i wrote about it before, this sort of thing, but what are others thoughts on this case? will it be okay for me to leave the relationship just between racter and cap, or put lucky into the picture as well, given their history? or maybe just keep lucky as a side character that is not afraid of speaking her mind to cap, about how things go in heoi and how racter may just leave her like he did before.

honestly speaking, id much rather let racter deal with cap only, instead of getting into something intense with lucky. ive read too many stories about unprompted hate kisses and rebounds, and i want to do something that isnt that. i just worry ill disappoint people... tho i have no reason as to why i do. i just feel that this is something i *have* to do, if that makes sense.

sigh i rambled on for too long. sorry. i just dont want to write any sort of hate s-x based things. it bothers me a lot. idk.]

#i didnt mean to ramble on into that #but i do wonder what do others think about that last bit.#am i allowed to just do what i want?#i never want to seem like im bashing on characters for stupid reasons #because i grew up like that through some fandoms.#im tired of being petty.#i just... want to break that mold im so used to #but i wanna do something that makes me happy and comfortable with.#idk sorry.#im probably not making any sense.#hmph.

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eamonwhalen · 3 years

Text

Rap I Liked 2020

An attempt at an omnivorous list of rap songs from the year 2020 that undoubtedly missed many good songs.

In a Spotify Playlist

In an Apple Music Playlist

If you’d like to read what I wrote this year click here.

1. Quelle Chris and Chris Keys featuring Earl Sweatshirt, Denmark Vesey, Merill Garbus and Big Sen - Mirage

2. Mozzy featuring Blxst - I Ain’t Perfect

3. Jay Electronica featuring Jay-Z - A.P.I.D.T.A

Sleep well Lately, I haven't been sleepin' well I even hit the beach to soak my feet and skip some seashells Sleep well The lump inside my throat sometimes it towers like the Eiffel Sometimes I wonder do the trees get sad when they see leaves fell Sleep well The last time that I kissed you, you felt cold but you looked peaceful I read our message thread when I get low and need a refill Sleep well

4. Shabazz Palaces - Fast Learner

5. G-Herbo featuring Juice WRLD, Chance The Rapper and Lil Uzi Vert - PTSD

“People judge people from my city, or people who go through what we go through. It’s just the way you’re brought up and different situations that you experience that change your life and make you who you are. There’s a lot of people who would come to my city and not make it. There’s certain survival skills that you learn in Chicago from just naturally adapting to your environment. People judge us and outcast us from what they see on the outside but they really don’t know what’s going on on the inside. We’re making rational decisions because what we go through forces us to make those decisions. Just the older I get, the more serious I look at it. When I was younger I had my family taking care of me, and I was just living life like a kid. But by 14-15, there’s a lot of kids in my city who are living the lives of adults at that age. Other places people don’t live like that. When I was 16 I started to see people die around me. In my city theres so little to depend on, so people take other options to survive and make a way for themselves. At a young age you start learning this,” - G-Herbo, from an interview I did with him a few years ago.

6. 21 Savage and Metro Boomin’ featuring Young Thug - Rich N***a Shit

the sounds of luxury

7. Sada Baby - Slide

8. Megan Thee Stallion - Circles

https://youtu.be/TwZl9WCHjnc

9. Polo G - Martin & Gina

10. Gunna - Skybox

11. Pop Smoke - Yea Yea

Rest in Peace Pop Smoke

https://pitchfork.com/thepitch/pop-smoke-dior-protest-music/

12. Bfb Da Packman featuring Sada Baby - Free Joe Exotic

13. NBA Youngboy - The Story of OJ (Top Version)

14. Bris - Me Important

Rest In Peace Tricky Dance Moves

15. Playboi Carti - @ MEH

16. Navy Blue featuring Ka - In Good Hands

“Even friends in a frenzy became ravenous

Brothers named universal, wise, supreme became savages

It's said the common thread with our enemies

Is we was all men in need with no amenities

Couldn't sit in peace, we each hit the streets for remedies

Through the hatred accumulate a hundred arms we was centipedes

The stress of empty pantries kept us antsy

No lie, essentials essentially in a shanty

Could give scripture but that big picture is what you can't see

Every grain I spelt is what helped enhance me

Went from gun waving to saving lives

I give sight to the blind just for the 85

That's what I was in the line of scrimmage

Lost some folks of course, that growth redefined percentage

Doomed in the womb, surprised I ain't see a hanger

Start questioning affection when all you see is anger,

But now I’m in good hands, surrounded by good women, good babies, good mans,”

-Ka

17. Lil Uzi Vert - Chrome Heart Tags

18. SahBabii - Double Dick

19. Rezcoast Grizz - Water

20. Future featuring Drake, Da Baby and Lil Baby - Life Is Good Remix

21. Drakeo The Ruler featuring Icewear Vezzo and ALLBLACK - We Know The Truth

The Ruler’s home. Read Jeff Weiss on Drakeo’s trial and release, and the book Rap On Trial for an underreported and understudied phenomenon.

22. Future and Lil Uzi Vert - That’s It

23. Shordie Shordie - Save A Little

coolest new voice in Rap

24. Busta Rhymes featuring Kendrick Lamar - Look Over Your Shoulder

25. Cam & China - Know What I’m Saying

https://youtu.be/H1JSWy9lxuk

26. Ovrkast featuring Navy Blue - Face

27. J Hus featuring icee tgm - Helicopter

Shaitan in police uniform Feds in a helicopter I seen pigs fly but I never seen a unicorn Tryna find cover on somebody's front lawn I see an undercover and he had his gun drawn Didn't like me 'cause I'll never conform Man want beef, but they'll never come forth Like CB, all I need is one corn You see me alone but I got a strong force No man can ever put my life on pause They enslaved my ancestor, no remorse I bring knowledge to Europe, just like the Moors The knowledge, they need it, they cravin' for more Left the yard before the jakes kicked in the door Have you seen a lengman drop his stick on the floor? Say you wanna bang, you don't look like you're sure

28. Demahjiae featuring Mejiwahn, Michael Sneed and Pink Siifu - Wild & Fireflies

29. Lil Baby featuring 42 Dugg - We Paid

No choice but to respect someone who is not only still rockin’ with the Detroit Lions in 2020 but says so much on the biggest song of his career thus far.

30. Ka - Patron Saints

31. Benny The Butcher - Famous

32. Key! - Spend One Night

33. Smino featuring JID and Kenny Beats - Baguetti

34. Open Mike Eagle - Death Parade

35. OMB Peezy - Sleep At Night

36. Mick Jenkins - “Carefree”

read me on Mick Jenkins circa 2016.

37. Chris Brown and Young Thug featuring Lil Duke and Gunna - Big Slimes

38. Freddie Gibbs and Alchemist - God Is Perfect

39. Chester Watson - Life Wrote Itself

40. Denzel Curry and Kenny Beats - DIET

read me on Denzel Curry circa 2015

41. Young Dolph - Hold Up Hold Up Hold Up

Still probably the coolest thing any rapper has done in years.

42. Dua Saleh - Hellbound

43. Rod Wave - Fuck The World

44. Young Nudy - Deeper Than Rap

45. Bobby Raps - Believe The Lie

Alex Howard, more like Alex Garland!

46. Saba - So and So

47. 2 Chainz featuring TyDollaSign - Can’t Go For That

https://youtu.be/ccenFp_3kq8

48. Blu and Exile - The Feeling

49. astralblak - Out In The Woods

50. Key Glock - Word On the Streets

51. Black Thought featuring Portugal. The Man & The Last Artful, Dodgr - Nature of the Beast

I feel like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, less Denzel Washington When people are watching me If the right amount of likes and follows can make me less hollow I'd somehow be more complete But people tend to be more toxic so we see more gossip And there's tension on the streets

52. Flo Milli - Not Friendly

53. Shootergang Kony - Still Kony 2

54. Homeboy Sandman - Trauma

55. Kevin Gates - Weeks

56. Pink Siifu and Fly Anakin - Open Up Shop

57. P Will aka Prince Williams - Survival

58. Cupcakke - Discounts

59. Nas - Ultra Black

60. Spillage Village - End Of Daze

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/magazine/societal-collapse.html

What I listened to most besides songs by artists on this list:

Jazmine Sullivan’s live performances of Lost One and Pick Up Your Feelings

Other stuff that doesn’t really belong on a Rap list:

Liv.e, Brent Faiyaz, Helado Negro, Slauson Malone, Chronixx, Contour, King Krule, Kehlani, Moses Sumney, Thundercat, Soccer Mommy.

Best books I read that were published in 2020: The Jakarta Method by Vincent Bevins and I Got A Monster by Brandon Soderberg and Baynard Woods

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cs-discourse · 4 years

Text

Reccomendations (V long sorry 😅)

I offer you all some shows to watch instead of hAzBiN hOtEL:

Epithet Erased (On YT I think. - Animation style is a little hard to get used to, but I love the chars and story line. Wholesome fun.)

Brooklyn 99 ( Netflix - please remember that real cops are not like this, it is a fictitious portrayal - the actors themselves donated 100,000 $ to support protesters against cops. Enjoy it but watch it as the fiction it is. Be aware that it’s copaganda.)

She-ra ( Netflix- we stan that lgbtq representation)

Avatar the Last Airbender (Netflix - Most of you have prbly already seen it but uh. If you haven’t, it’s pretty good. Definitely a lighthearted semi childish show.)

Daria (Crave - We stan unique poc representation. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/59kp45/daria-jodie-landon-suburban-black-girl)

Adventure Time (Dailymotion -free- or Google Play - Just google best episodes and watch those ones. The ones with Marceline + PB are my personal faves.)

Magic For Humans (Netflix - Basically an interesting magic show. Fun activity: when I watch this w/ other ppl we try to figure out how he did the tricks.)

The Fresh Prince (Netflix - A classic. Still know the theme song by heart.)

Hilda or Kipo and the Wonderbeasts (Netflix - these two animated shows are new unique takes on fantasy adventures. )

IZombie ( Netflix - Basically a zombie detective, but better. Think Veronica Mars. -also a good detective show y'all should watch. *trigger warning: it’s a zombie murder show so it has some semi-realistic depictions of gore/brains.)

Disenchantment ( Netflix -The closest thing to Hazbin on this list. An animated show with dark humour without being racist or homophobic. *some animated gore that some people might find triggering. It’s been a while since I watched so idk exactly what.)

Final Space ( Netflix -like disenchantment, an animated show with an intended audience older than your average animation show. *again, animated gore.)

Mods, if any of these shows are homophobic/racist/otherwise problematic -(ignoring B99 which is obvious copganda. Again: It’s fiction. Do not -I repeat, DO NOT- look at it as a real representation of cops. It’s not.)- please say so. We not here tryna recommend problematic shows. Or, if you have any other reccomendations?

ps: I’m Canadian, so some of these shows may not be on american Netflix, or some of the ones that aren’t may be on it. Idk. Stay safe y'all. Oof way too long submission finally over.

if you like anime, here are things i watch:

blue exorcist - DEMONSSS (hulu and netflix im p sure)

scissor seven - its actually chinese animated, but its very well made and the production value goes up as the show goes on. i honestly rlly like the cliche anime backstory for the main char bc its also funny as hell (netflix)

saiki k - its like if one punch man was a teen who was also incredibly sarcastic. if you have adhd this shows p good for you too, it goes really fucking fast and you cant look away or youll miss something. its hilarious, go watch. (netflix)

also, some youtubers if youre feelin like that:

dream - minecraft youtuber, child friendly (not in the annoying way. just no cussing)!! hes like 5000 iq and holy shit his minecraft manhunts are insane. holds the mc speedrun world record POG. good coder, my fav youtuber right now.

hellfreezer - reading reddit stories youtuber. his voice is very nice, and videos are faily long. i use him as background noise when doing work.

TRO (the right opinion) - long commentary/rant videos on controversial topics/youtubers, like onision and yandere dev. sexy british voice ;)

mossbag - hollow knight lore and theories. i love hollow knight sm

penguinz0 - streams, commentaries, very short videos. one of the funniest men alive. absoultely incredicble. hes very quick witted and his insults make me scream laugh sometimes

joana ceddia - random life videos. full of personality! i love her honestly shes really chill but also gives off the energy of a thousand suns

pointcrow - gaming youtuber. makes a lot of insane challenge botw videos/zelda vids in general. he streams and then makes the videos.

jarvis johnson - makes videos like drew gooden/danny gonzalas do, but he is also a poc. his bids are entertaining and interesting!! i recommend greatly if you like shorter commentary videos.

.phe

my current faves are:

dorohedoro - anime about humans and wizards coexisting during a war against each other. the wizards hate the humans and curse them to experiment with their magic. all-powerful demons control the magic world behind the scenes. very graphic in regards to gore, some nudity on occasion. anime not finished adapting from manga.

hunter x hunter - anime about hunters who do just that-- go out into the world and hunt for whatever it is they want. examples include justice for their clan killed by genocide, a new family because the old one is a toxic group of assassins who believe you can’t have friends, friends to fill in for an absentee father, and a phd. somewhat graphic in regards to gore, especially so later on in the series. anime not finished adapting from manga.

what we do in the shadows - tv mockumentary series about vampires living in staten island. very funny but also VERY NSFW... lots of sexual references/content, gore and blood.

snowpiercer - tv fantasy series about the apocalypse in which the government fucked up and sent the world into a total deep freeze. 1001 train cars are all the life that remains on earth. VERY NSFW... sexual references/content, gore and blood. there’s also a movie adapted from the comic series by the iconic and incomparable bong joon ho on netflix which is good.

// Mod Peach

#cs discourse #submission

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awheckery · 4 years

Note

Will you tell us some of your many Thoughts™ about the live action Cinderella?

so something to keep in mind is that I went back to work monday night, my sleep schedule is heckedddddd and I am so tired right now I’m basically drunk

I am literally eating cereal in bed and it’s a real concern that I’m gonna fall asleep and drown in this bowl so this is gonna have to be the. oh christ whatsit called. the shit with the twitter memes, oversimplified takes on classic literature, cheat guide version, I am so tired

but ok here we go:

cinderella is my favorite fairytale, basically. ever after was a MAJOR formative influence on me, and it came on the heels of the ‘97 abc cinderella with brandy AND ella enchanted, which were also major formative influences, probably because they came into my life at a time when I really, really needed escapist media

I’ve read a ton of different spins and adaptations, I wrote a frickin’ cinderella novel that thankfully didn’t get anywhere with literary agents, and I watched every movie version I could get my hands on, so my expectations were not high ok

if you like the 2015 cinderella you need to scroll away right now because I’mma ruin it with petty. in kinda-sorta order, (not having seen this movie in a longish while) this is the petty shit that bothers me:

ella wants her father to bring home the first branch that hits his hat on the way home or whatev, and he does, which’d be a decent homage to perrault’s fairytale but they don’t fucking revisit it, no magic tree mother gifts here so why bring up chekhov’s tree branch, ugh

none of the characters are from the same genre, you expect me to believe chilly regal cate blanchett raised those dipshits, my disbelief is unsuspended

actually also any of the side characters with their one-off lines are more interesting and entertaining than any of the mains

richard madden looks like sebastian stans’s much older, significantly less attractive brother and he also looks a solid decade older than lily james, which is unfortch for him b/c I’m p sure he’s closer to her age than sebstan’s

I hate the cgi stag, having horrible flashbacks to kstew’s snow white movie, and the multiple jarring genre shifts therein, can we find a different shorthand for goodness of character rather than brief spiritual connection with cgi wildlife pls I’m begging you

I don’t like the big fairytale dress, I know this is a movie for children but I dislike the cheap-ass-looking butterflies and I miss the color from the animated original, and all this completely ignoring how the production treated lily james re: said dress

while we’re here what is upppp with the stepsisters’ ballroom gowns, they don’t match the mcfrickin aesthetic of the rest of the movie, it’s like they pulled those gaudy ridic costumes out of storage from the ‘97 cinderella, I demand visual continuity but nope, we can’t have that can we

I know you’re trying to pad the plot without too obviously cribbing from the slipper and the rose but evil-because-politics duke stellan skarsgard really doesn’t do it for me 'cause they drop that thread entirely. yaaaaaaay you married for love, too bad you offended your neighbors rejecting all their princesses, they’re ready to invade now

this entire relationship is built on lyinggggg. kit misleads the “good honest country girl” presumably so as not to intimidate her and she shows up at the ball and she’s fine letting him think she’s a princess, he makes that assumption and there’s a perfectly fine opportunity to correct it AND SHE DOESN’T. “NO MORE SURPRISES” ELLA? ARE YA SURE ABOUT THAT? how did either of them think that course of action was going to work out, honestly, the screenwriters dropped the ball, there could have been slightly more narrative complexity for very little effort, yes this is a movie for children but THEY ARE BEING NEITHER COURAGEOUS NOR KIND WITH THIS, ABC DID A WAAAAAAAY BETTER JOB 20+ YEARS AGO

and okay, here’s the big problem for me, here is what I loathe most, because THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A MOVIE FOR CHILDREN:

because of the dialogue, the sound mixing and the probably-directorial-decision to make lily james as breathy-sounding-as-possible, an uncomfortable chunk of the dialogue sounds like it came from a porno

I’m not fucking kidding

she walks into the ball and I was already perturbed because you can hear her gasping and the actual goddamn dress swishing while they’re dancing

but that entire bit in the garden? put that shit on and close your eyes and it is uncomfortable as hell to listen to

I was writhing in discomfort in the theater with friends, and multiple people in the audience were awkward-laughing because it was a later evening showing so most everyone there was an adult and I feel like a lot of us were on the same page

it might be a minor thing to some people but it completely counters anything good about the movie for me I HATE IT

#Anonymous #cinderella 2015 #petty shit #good fucking night #ugh ugh ughhhhhhh

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mimicofmodes · 5 years

Text

Sanditon, episode 1 part i

I’m having a lot of thoughts about Sanditon, both plot and costumes, so I thought I might as well share them here.

So, Austen’s original MS for Sanditon is very short - it’s often referred to as an “unfinished novel”, but it’s really just the beginning of the story and a rough draft at that. This gives someone who wants to finish it license to make the plot go in any direction they like, which Andrew Davies has definitely taken full advantage of at his Andrew Davies-est.

Our first view of the heroine, Charlotte Heywood, is as she’s lying in the grass to shoot a rabbit, her hair down and not covered with a bonnet, which gives us the visual cue that this is Not Your Mother’s Austen Story.

In the original text, Mr Heywood happens to be out in the fields and approaches the scene of the accident, bringing the Parkers to his home, where they’re met by “two or three genteel-looking young women”. Davies instead makes Charlotte the center of the adventure by having her see the accident (while looking entirely non-genteel) and dash off to help. It’s hard to know where exactly the Heywoods are supposed to sit on the social scale in this adaptation: they’ve done a thing like P&P05 where rusticity is emphasized by making people untidy and dressed in browns, but it also makes them seem a lot poorer than the original text. There was a huge social and financial gulf between gentlemen with country estates that produced food and the actual yeoman or tenant farmer classes, though. Presumably they are in the “country estate” range, though, since the Parkers take Charlotte with them to Sanditon as a friend rather than some kind of paid companion.

Ever since Outlander started, it’s become really popular for costumers to put women in anachronistic knitwear. This knitted spencer is very clever, but also very inaccurate. (So is the hair. I’m going to have lots of opportunities to say this, but hair should not��be down in the Regency. Even girls too young to get married wore their hair up at this time - the flowing, half-up look doesn’t become a standard young-girl hairstyle until well into the Victorian era.)

Trafalgar House, on the most elevated spot on the down, was a light, elegant building, standing in a small lawn with a very young plantation round it, about a hundred yards from the brow of a steep but not very lofty cliff, and the nearest to it of every building, excepting one short row of smart-looking houses called the Terrace, with a broad walk in front, aspiring to be the Mall of the place. In this row were the best milliner's shop and the library a little detached from it, the hotel and billiard room. Here began the descent to the beach and to the bathing machines.

In another departure from the text, the very pleasant and elegant new area of Sanditon that’s being prepared for tourists is turned into what looks more like an industrial town. This is probably because we tend to see narratives about change in this period as going hand-in-hand with the changes of the Industrial Revolution. But it doesn’t really look like a new town that’s being built to cater to invalids and fashionable people ...

Our first look at Lady Denham, the Catherine de Bourgh of Sanditon. This outfit isn’t terrible; it’s kind of ca. 1795. However, that’s roughly twenty years out of date for this setting, and Lady Denham is supposed to care about status and appearances, so she should be dressing like a normal fashionable older woman. Another visual cliché that’s become standard!

In the original text, Charlotte is a lot like Catherine Morland of Northanger Abbey, an ordinary young woman, while Lady Denham’s distant relation Clara Brereton is “the most perfect representation of whatever heroine might be most beautiful and bewitching” due to her physical attractions and her backstory: Lady Denham went to stay with some poorer relations, planning to take one of their daughters back to Sanditon with her, but instead took their poor relation. (Nice parallel with Charlotte’s situation.) Ironically, in the show Charlotte has the qualities we associate with heroines - she’s breezily free in her speech and hair - while Clara isn’t shown as interesting at all at first.

The younger Denhams, Sir Edward and his (step-)sister. In the original, the narrator explains pretty quickly that Sir Edward is a dope who likes exciting novels and wants to be a seductive rogue like their villains, so he’s fixing to carry off and seduce (read: rape) Clara for his own fun. But here, it’s clear that Sir Edward actually succeeds in flirting with Charlotte (if a bit slimily), and we eavesdrop on the Denhams’ conversation to learn about their motivations: his sister wants him to “focus on the task in hand” as the camera focuses on Clara, so it’s clear that there is a more purposeful scheme afoot. Just as in the text, though, Lady Denham makes it clear to Charlotte that he’s got to marry money.

For some reason, Lady Denham is dressed for Downton Abbey in this scene. Miss Denham’s spencer/pelisse is perfectly all right, but her hat is ... I don’t even know when her hat dates to. I suspect it’s based on this style of hat, but its sharpness and trimness make it read more modern.

The next introductions, following the MS’s order if not its timeline, are siblings of Charlotte’s host, Diana and Arthur Parker. Some much-needed comic relief! Davies has left out the second sister, though, as well as their busybody-ness, so they’re really nothing but hypochondriacs. Diana’s pelisse looks to be the one worn recently by Elle Fanning in the Mary Shelley movie, and by Anna Maxwell Martin in Death Comes to Pemberley.

The show then departs from the text by sending the group to the seaside. (Which seems like a obvious place to go, but it actually takes more than a week before the text even mentions going in the water.) Charlotte and Clara get in a bathing machine and change into clothes for swimming! We get a nice look at their period-appropriate corsetry as they get undressed. (The men strip down on the beach itself and go off into the waves. What’s slightly confusing to me is that Mrs. Parker and the Parker children were also there, but didn’t get into a bathing machine, so ... did they just watch the Parker brothers and Sir Edward walk around naked?)

Kudos to the costumer for leaning into the ugliness of Georgian swimwear. Charlotte has even put her hair up into the cap!

I’ve been neglecting the main Parkers, because there’s not much to say about them. They’re nice, enthusiastic people. The interior of their house does a good job or communicating Mr. Parker’s grand plans for Sanditon - he’s stretching to have his own grandiose Neoclassical stately home, and it’s not really working. It’s poorly-lit and whatever prints or inlay he has all over the walls makes that worse.

Charlotte is in a brown jumper dress over a collared habit shirt, something which I’d note appears on Keira Knightley’s Elizabeth in P&P05. Not the same specific costume, but the same family, and I doubt that’s a coincidence, given how much this production seems to be taking from that in terms of grittyness.

Mrs. Parker apologizes to Charlotte for her husband’s irritation over his other brother, Sidney, not having arrived yet, and then the two go into a shop to buy some fancy blue half-boots that I don’t really think are suitable for a ball. Reminder: this is supposed to be a clean, new seaside resort town.

Charlotte gets handed off to Miss Denham, who is once again in all black. Her sleeves have a kind of slashed-and-puffed effect, highly appropriate to the period as fashion inspiration in the 1810s moved away from the Neoclassical and into the medieval and Renaissance. Miss Denham comes off as very poisonous, complaining about Lady Denham (mean and miserly), Clara (sitting in the lap of luxury), Mr. Parker (going to ruin his family, obsessed with improving Sanditon), Arthur (a buffoon), and Sidney (unsavory and unreliable). I’m not really sure what the deal is with this conversation - it feels like Davies just wanted an excuse to make them talk together so we can see how bitchy Miss Denham is.

(cont’d)

#sanditon #jane austen #austen #regency #georgian #19th century #costuming

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attheeds · 4 years

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🚨💙A must-read for all melodies: Get To Know #BTOB better! 😍

Everyone misses the boys and I know you often check for updates - which we don't have much as of now. Instead, let's read fun and interesting interview they did in the past and know a little about their interesting characters! Enjoy! 😉🙃 #BTOB ~~~ BTOB - HONEST AND INTERESTING INTERVIEW

Q&A

Q: When does Eunkwang get angry?

EK: If it is about me, most of the time, I will just hold it in. However, I will get angry if it involves the safety of the people around me. That’s why although I should have gotten angry when one of the members does anything bad, but I can never do it. Instead will call the person over and talk to him harmoniously but this doesn’t seem really good either, I should just get angry.

Q: Does Minhyuk like cross-dressing like ‘Boy’s Day” from the music show?

MH: If you were to just look at my face you may mistake me as a girl but the muscles on my body feel a little ashamed. It was a pity as the wig on that day didn’t suit me very well. I would have looked even better if the hair suited me! I spread my legs while wearing a skirt and got scolded by the members next to me (Laughs) Spreading my legs when wearing a skirt really looks very indecent and rude. I will take notes from now. I look exactly like my aunt when I crossdress, I thought of my aunt when I looked into the mirror.

(T/N: Why would you take note of such things… it’s not like you have to do it often.. or do you have a fetish..?)

Q: Changsub, do you realize your 4D personality?

CS: I do know about it myself. Once in a while, I will also ask myself “Why did I do that?” (Laughs) The difference between the others and I would be photos of me in my weird poses! Many have said that I am not mentally stable, I think this is also one of the reason. Although I want to do something seriously, but I would start playing around all of a sudden and it caused people around me to get a shock. But in my opinion, all 7 members are weird. (Laughs) I’m not saying that anyone is particularly weird because we’re all weird! I think this is BTOB’s charm.

Q: Is Hyunsik the muscle leader behind the scene?

HS: I think the nature of my muscles is slightly different. I don’t do any special trainings, I just spend each day normally but grew into the muscle type. So I only mostly train the arms muscles that I use often. I think the muscles naturally formed as I always helped my mum do work and carry things. However, I do not have the desire to be in charge of muscles in the group, no matter how you put it, I just want to work hard musically! (Laughs) So I won’t flaunt my muscles on purpose!

Q: As Cutie Player’s creator, does Ilhoon normally have a lot of aegyo?

IH: I don’t do cute stuff normally. However, if I were to be like how I am usually, I would seem as though I am really fierce and is throwing a temper so I try to look more lively and outgoing. I guess that’s when the hidden aegyo comes out. (Laughs) I wasn’t the one who created the Cutie Player. As I practically didn’t have any talents, I just did it when they asked me to show a talent. I have no idea how it was spread. Amongst the members, I think Minhyuk hyung does aegyo the best. I think he is really good at doing aegyo for the fans. Despite people saying that it’s just fan service, it’s just Minhyuk hyung’s revealing his inner aegyo in my opinion. It’s his real self. (Laughs)

Q: Peniel, you have yet to be adapted to Korea's culture?

P: There are a lot of things that I have not gotten used to. As there are a lot of small details, it is very difficult to explain….. Like being particular about who is older, younger, senior and stuff? It would be great if everyone is equal as there’s no formal speech in English.

Q: Was Yook Sung Jae popular during high school?

SJ: It’s a little embarrassing to say it myself… hehehe (Laughs) I seem to have a bit of popularity! I have a sister who is 3 years older than me so I like getting loved. My sister always takes good care of me, that’s why I like girls who are older than me as well as younger girls who treat me as though they’re my older sister. However, as I am the youngest son so I have to show aegyo, be a little shameless but recently I want to show everyone my manly side. A little distance is required for a man to be charming!

Strengths & Weakness

Angel Leader: Eunkwang

Self Evaluation:

Strength: I always have a smile on my face and has been nicknamed "Happy Virus". " Has a very good personality like an angel" Pff, saying it myself is a little.. (Shy) I have never gotten angry with the members. In the past, I didn't quarrel much with my brother either, I don't think I have ever gotten angry in my life. Even if I want to, I have no idea how.

Weakness: Indecisive, often follow others' opinions. Unable to express my own thoughts.

Minhyuk's evaluation of Eunkwang:

Strength: Has a kind and forgiving heart. No matter how overboard the members go with their jokes, he will just accept them with a smile. As BTOB's leader, he protects the members without them knowing.

Weakness: He is too nice! He doesn't even get angry when he should, this isn't good! This is why he worries about things on his own. When that happens, I would be angry for him as I am also part of the hyung line. Another bad point would be his game addiction. Although he says that he has decreased the amount of time he spends playing.. who knows~

Changsub's evaluation of Eunkwang:

Strength: Has a very good personality and treasures the members a lot. Even if the members go overboard with their jokes on him, he will still look at them gently and watch over them. As our group's main vocal, he protects his position very well.

Weakness: He is too short. (Laughs)

Hyunsik's evaluation of Eunkwang:

Strength: He is a really nice person. No matter who it is, they are bound to feel this way.

Weakness: Being a nice person is a weakness too as he doesn't get angry. As a leader, there are times where he should scold us but he doesn't even get angry.

Peniel's evaluation of Eunkwang:

Strength: He is an extremely nice person.

Weakness: Being too nice is a weakness too.

Ilhoon's evaluation of Eunkwang:

Strength: Is a very lacking and very kind person.

Weakness: His personality is too good! It feels as though he gives in to us too much, that he isn't expressing his thoughts well. Even so, he takes extremely good care of us. Our existence is to fill up for what Eunkwang is lacking, So if you were to look at us as a group, this isn't exactly a weakness.

Sungjae's evaluation of Eunkwang:

Strength: He is really very kind. I have known Eunkwang for 4 years and I have yet to see him get angry. Instead of scolding us or flaring up, Eunkwang resolves issues through a conversation.

Weakness: Overly kind. I think that there are situations where he should have gotten angry to let the members see his power but he isn't very good in that aspect.

The perfect guy who makes the members proud: Minhyuk

Self-evaluation:

Strength: Self-management is my strength. If there is something that I want to do, I will carefully make plans and also manage them. For example, I will always make notes so that I won't forget to do things. As I am a singer, I hope to be perfect when it comes to singing, rapping, lyrics writing, composing and sports. However as our schedule is tight, there are things that I have left out so I am going to sort out a new plan starting from daily activities.

Weakness: I have a lot of trouble. Even if it is just a simple issue, I will think of it in a very complicated way and get timid. Although I do not bring inconvenience to others, it makes me very tired. It would be great if I could think about things from a broader aspect.

Eunkwang's evaluation of Minhyuk:

Strength: No matter what he does, he is very serious and does it to the best of his ability. He puts in all his heart and soul no matter who or what issue it is on hand. He does his best no matter how small the detail is, singing and dancing are just the basics. He looks charming even to us.

Weakness: ..Height? (Bursts out laughing) I am of the same height as Minhyuk but it is really quite a waste for Minhyuk! Other than his height, he is really perfect.

Changsub's evaluation of Minhyuk:

Strength: As a summary, he is really charismatic and popular and has nothing he can't do. He excels in sports, raps well, sings well and even dances well too. He is a well-rounded artist.

Weakness: This hyung is short (Laughs)

Hyunsik's evaluation of Minhyuk:

Strength: No matter what it is, as long as he wants to do it, he will do it well I think this is really amazing!

Weakness: The downside of being competitive, at times I think that his desires are too much. (Laughs)

Peniel's evaluation of Minhyuk:

Strength: He tries really hard no matter what he does.

Weakness: Even if he has to strain his body to achieve something, he will always persevere till the end and even causing his body to break down, that isn't very good.

Ilhoon's evaluation of Minhyuk:

Strength: He keeps to his words and carries the tasks out perfectly. If he has something he wants to do, he will put in even more effort in order to achieve it. He has good sports genes and excels in sports. He doesn't like admitting defeat.

Weakness: Now that he has hurt his knee and his body isn't in good condition, his body actually isn't that strong. Despite that, he works very hard on every single task and it is rather worrying. I hope he will put his health into consideration.

Sungjae's evaluation of Minhyuk:

Strength: He does the things that Eunkwang can't do. As he is also part of the hyung line, he will scold us in place of Eunkwang.

Weakness: He doesn't seem to have any weaknesses. Ah, height....(Laughs)

A 4D character who possesses a naturally beautiful voice: Changsub

Self-evaluation:

Strength: I have been praised by many about the unique charm in my voice. My voice is a little different when I speak so I used to hate it when people said that I sound like a girl. However, my voice is a powerful weapon to me now and I hope to let more people hear me sing.

Weakness: I can't wake up once I fall asleep (Laughs) Once I fall asleep, I won't be able to wake up, causing a lot of trouble for the members. Although being a heavy sleeper helps me get rid of fatigue, I have to apologize as it also affects my punctuality when it comes to attending schedules.

Eunkwang's evaluation of Changsub:

Strength: I think everyone will be saying this same line, that his vocals are really outstanding! That he is someone who is well-loved by many fans because of his voice.

Weakness: He sleeps for too long. (Laughs) It is also very obvious when he is in a bad mood. Everyone gets nervous whenever he sleeps, as he will glare at you if you were to wake him up and it's really scary.

Minhyuk's evaluation of Changsub:

Strength: Likes practicing until he is satisfied with what he hears no matter how long it takes.

Weakness: He can't control his expressions well. Recently he has been working on controlling his thoughts.

Hyunsik's evaluation of Changsub:

Strength: Extremely interesting, you will be really happy when you are with him.

Weakness: He is the type who acts according to his mood and you will know if he is angry or in a bad mood with just one look.

Peniel's evaluation of Changsub:

Strength: Possesses a naturally beautiful voice.

Weakness: He really sleeps too much. Although he possesses good vocals, he is always sleeping before performances so his vocals have not been warmed up, which causes his singing to be unstable and it's quite a waste.

Ilhoon's evaluation of Changsub:

Strength: His voice is really good, when he stands on stage, he is able to fully showcase his inner charms.

Weakness: He has his mood written all over his face. You will be able to notice when he gets angry. He is usually an extremely interesting person and often jokes around. However, he gets angry easily and his moods can be noticed easily. So to some, it may not be a good thing.

Sungjae's evaluation of Changsub:

Strength: He is always filled with cuteness towards us, the younger ones, and is extremely cute. When our eyes meet, he will go "Sungjae ah~" in a weird voice then comes over to hug me. There are times when I am tired and he will still do the same, hoping I would entertain him and that's when I hope he won't do that!

Weakness: Changsub has really drastic mood swings like me and he gets even more agitated than me when he is angry. He is also very short-tempered.

Multi-talented with a killer smile: Hyunsik

Self-evaluation:

Strength: Always very positive. Has a character who will overcome all difficulties positively.

Weakness: Overly positive (Laughs)

Eunkwang's evaluation of Hyunsik:

Strength: Like a real man, he is open-minded and his eye smile is really adorable. As he is filled with musical skills, he can play various instruments including piano and guitar, he can even compose songs.

Weakness: Although it is good to have self-confidence, there are times where he gets overconfident.

Minhyuk's evaluation of Hyunsik:

Strength: Having self-confidence and high self-esteem is Hyunsik's strength. This is why his potential has been strengthened.

Weakness: However his pride is too strong and does not listen to hyungs' advises at times.

Changsub's evaluation of Hyunsik:

Strength: Knows music very well. We attend the same music university which is considered quite well known in Korea. He contributed 2 self-composed songs for last year's 'Thriller' album. This time, the song he wrote with Eunkwang hyung and I was also included in the album. Therefore he is the best when it comes to music isn't the right?

Weakness: He has too many muscles. Bang bang!

Ilhoon's evaluation of Hyunsik:

Strength: Multi-talented. he can draw well, compose and sings well. For instruments, he can play the piano and guitar.

Weakness: High self-esteem, scary sometimes. Other than that, hyung is rather flawless.

Sungjae's evaluation of Hyunsik:

Strength: Although he is a manly muscle man, he also has a detailed side which makes him extremely charming.

Weakness: He sleeps too much (Laughs), He is the kind who will continue sleeping if no one wakes him up. For example, if we need to go to the salon at 9am, we definitely have to wake up at 8am but he can't, which isn't good!

The innocent and romantic English teacher: Peniel

Self-evaluation:

Strength: Not serious. As I am more open-minded, I have good relationships with everyone, just that I am a little shy initially.

Weakness: Not very adjusted to Korea's culture.

Eunkwang's evaluation of Peniel:

Strength: He always has a smile on his face like an adorable child. As he lived in the states, he was not used to Korea's environment but his Korean has been getting better.

Weakness: Despite getting used to expressing himself in Korean, he does not share his thoughts often so I hope that he will come forward to express himself more.

Minhyuk's evaluation of Peniel:

Strength: He has an innocent, romantic and positive charm. He also has the ability to make people around him laugh. You get a blissful feeling whenever you see him.

Weakness: He doesn't have his own desires. Although it has gotten slightly better recently, he still does not express his own thoughts often even if he receives a song and was assigned the least amount of lines. BTOB has 7 members so you have to protect and fight for your own parts, but Peniel doesn't care even if he doesn't receive many lines. However, Peniel's fans get lonely after seeing him like this and hope that he can shine brighter in stage and sing more. His skills have improved recently and have been mentioning things that he wants to do so I am really happy for him.

Changsub's evaluation of Peniel:

Strength: His English is good as he lived abroad. He gets the hang of things easily. Although he doesn't have any special talents, but he can do anything very well quickly. He also belongs to the multi-talented artiste category. He is also very positive and likes to make people smile.

Weakness: His weakness is that he still doesn't speak Korean very well.

Hyunsik's evaluation of Peniel:

Strength: He is a very good child and very devoted. He is very innocent and gives off the feeling that he has been a treasured child.

Weakness: Maybe it was due to the influence of his lifestyle in the states so he still seems to have yet to fully adapt to Korea's lifestyle, but comparing to the past, he has improved a lot.

Ilhoon's evaluation of Peniel:

Strength: He does everything well no matter what you get him to do. Like writing lyrics, if you get him to write it, he is able to write it out immediately.

Weakness: The downside of doing everything he is told well, you don't see him putting in his own will to carry out something he wants to do. Instead of saying that he has no desires, it is a weakness because we are artistes and we have to produce works so you need to have the urge to stretch yourself.

Sungjae's evaluation of Peniel:

Strength: He is like a close friend to me although he is 2 years older than me. We are always together when shopping or playing around! Whenever I ask him to play with me, he will always say "Okay!"

Weakness: His personality is so good that it makes me agitated. I hope that you will voice out your thoughts once in a while too.

Passionate charisma: Ilhoon

Self-evaluation:

Strength: I feel that I am the brightest on stage. I am the most dazzling and charismatic when I sing. But off the stage, I am cute, have high variety of skills and are very interesting, these are are my strengths.

Weakness: I am the kind who insists on only doing things that I want to do, I guess this is also considered a type of weakness.

Hyunsik's evaluation of Ilhoon:

Strength: Passionate about music, we often work on song compositions together these days. Possesses various talents. has a good sense of things.

Weakness: He is like Changsub hyung who behaves according to his mood. But he has improved a lot recently.

Eunkwang's evaluation of Ilhoon:

Strength:Is positive and is fearless no matter what issue there is. Ilhoon possesses various skills. Although he is younger than me, he knows more than I do.

Weakness: He gets angry rather easily and vents it immediately. He is working hard on changing this problem.

Minhyuk's evaluation of Ilhoon:

Strength: Is someone who works hard on developing his potential. Like Changsub and Hyunsik, Ilhoon is also very passionate when it comes to practicing. He has high self-esteem, does things that he wants to do very well. Has a lot of knowledge.

Weakness: Gets angry easily, but the anger is not directed at us it is instead directed towards himself and it is easily noticed by people. Things like kicking the door open loudly. (Laughs) When that happens, we'll remind him and he will realize it after that. He is better on the overall now.

Changsub's evaluation of Ilhoon:

Strength: Multi-talented. He knows what is a variety show as he is Weekly Idol's fixed host. He also raps well. I feel that he belongs in the top tier of the current idol rappers.

Weakness: Gets angry easily, has a personality like a real man. Although we can occasionally see Ilhoon with aegyo, I don't really like Ilhoon with aegyo. (Laughs)

Peniel's evaluation of Ilhoon:

Strength: Is a very hard working person.

Weakness: He dieted too much recently, there's no more meat left, only skin. (Laughs)

Sungjae's evaluation of Ilhoon:

Strength: Has a passionate personality. He is able to actively tell our hyungs his suggestions. Although he is in the magnae line like me, he is someone who is able to show his leadership skills.

Weakness: He has too many weaknesses! Firstly, he is too weak (Laughs) He dieted too much and is only left with bones now. Quickly recover to how you used to be!

Born a super idol: Sungjae

Self-evaluation:

Strength: Hmm strengths, hehe (Laughs) I really have to thank my parents, for creating such a handsome kid! My optimistic character is also my strength, everyone says that I am constantly smiling. Come to think of it, I think don’t have any strengths (Laughs) I also have a passionate side, and is adventurous, wants to do everything first, and will keep persevering till the end. Once I have set my mind to achieving something, I am the kind who will continue until I accomplish it. I also like to take initiative on things. As expected, I have too many strengths! (Laughs)

Weakness: My mood swings are a little drastic. My mood is usually quite lively, but if I am in a bad mood, it will show on my face immediately. I have been scolded by the older members often so it should be better than it used to, just a little left.

Eunkwang’s evaluation of Sungjae:

Strength: Prior to our debut, the 2 of us used to stay in the same dorm so we are considered quite close amongst the members. Good looking, tall and has a cute personality, he does a very good job of supporting BTOB.

Weakness: Although he looks lively and happy, there are times where he has his downs and these are the times that make us worried.

Minhyuk’s evaluation of Sungjae:

Strength: Filled with ideas, creative and has a good sense of things. Just that he may have a lot of suggestions but not many can be used. (Laughs) He has amazingly rich imagination skills and is really different from his talents.

Weakness: His weakness is his mood swings. Although he is in a good mood most of the time recently, the people around him get worried whenever he feels a little down as it’s written clearly all over his face! In addition, Sungjae often doesn’t admit to his own mistakes.

Changsub’s evaluation of Sungjae

Strength: He’s the face of BTOB. He’s tall, handsome and also sings and raps well. He even looks good when he cross-dresses (Laughs) He also has a very good variety sense and holds the group together as the magnae.

Weakness: He gets overly excited at times, and gets high on his own.

Hyunsik’s evaluation of Sungjae:

Strength: He is like an adult although he’s the magnae. He totally doesn’t feel like the magnae recently.

Weakness: When he gets overconfident (Laughs)

Peniel’s evaluation of Sungjae:

Strength: Good looking and tall.

Weakness: His drastic mood swings. He likes to play around when he’s in a good mood but will be sulky alone when he’s feeling down.

Ilhoon’s evaluation of Sungjae:

Strength: Outgoing personality and good looking can be said as some of his God-given strengths.

Weakness: This kid has drastic mood swings like Changsub. He plays around to his fill when he’s happy and becomes very sulky when he is sad. It doesn’t matter now as we’re used to it. It’s just that you might get a shock when you just meet each other. source: JP-CN: @yunyunzai-Melody on Weibo, CN-EN: @_910620; picture - snugjae;

credits to: omonatheydidnt Published in 05/12/14

#btob #btob eunkwang #btob minhyuk #btob changsub #btobhyunsik btobpeniel btobilhoon btobsungjae

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dramaticironyoflife · 4 years

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Baby Bird (Fly Home) - Chapter 12: Who Was the Last?

Summary:

The story continues! It is perhaps the most disheartening to learn what you have once you have lost it. Patton is trying to return to life before the boys, the boys are trying to maintain some control over their lives, and Mrs. Strand just needs to stop reading so many parenting books.

Notes:

I am back and ready to give you all more angst! In repentance for the last heartbreak I gave out, I also offer you some fluffy boys being comforting towards each other.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

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Virgil hated how quickly he adapted. The routine of accepting the pity of others because the grownups told you that you didn’t have a choice. He shot a glance at Logan, making sure that he was alright. They were walking home from school. They had been placed with the Strand for the time being while lawyers and attorneys argued back and forth about their future. The world was never kind enough to pause while unfortunate sufferers tried to gain some footing. The world kept turning, high school still sucked, and he was sure that he was the hottest topic at his previous workplace.

Logan hated how he couldn’t get Virgil to talk to him openly. He had to quicken his pace to keep up with Virgil’s long strides, his backpack jostling as he did so. Virgil seemed dead to the world. His hood was up, and earbuds plugged his ears. Logan knew better though. He could see the bright eyes partially hidden under the bangs. They darted back and forth quickly, assessing every person, sometimes dwelling on someone for a millisecond longer. Logan had learned to both trust and fear Virgil’s mind. He was always ready to jump to Logan’s rescue or protection, always on edge. At the same time, though, he was always on edge. He didn’t trust anyone, and his mind was constantly twisting the normal world into paranoid ‘what ifs’. Virgil was the first person to run to in danger and the last person to ask for optimism. Logan watched him wearily now as they slipped back into the gated community that the Strands occupied. He wondered how much longer he would be forced to wait until he got his Virgil back again. Patton hated how quiet it was. He ran the vacuum in the now empty apartment that had been Virgil and Logan’s. The furniture he would sell and give the money to the boys. The rest of the room he simply cleaned and got ready to show to other possible guests. At the same time, however, he didn’t want to give it away. The idea of that felt like he would be accepting that they were really gone. Not that it made too much of a difference. They were gone and the sooner he accepted that, the better. He bit his lip and blinked hard. He turned the vacuum on and ran it over the carpet for the fifth time. He really did hate the quiet. Roman hated the traffic. He placed his chin on his hands, staring out the windshield with a bored expression. The people around him crawled forward and he groaned as his phone began to ring wildly. It had been three days since he’d seen the picture of the boys in the paper. Logan and Virgil were their names. Since then his life had been chaos. He’d tried in vain to find and contact his sister, cancelled at least a dozen different appointments, and convinced his agent that he could drive himself somewhere for a change. That didn’t stop people from calling and pestering him, though. He cocked an eyebrow at the mobile device before resolutely turning it off and tossing it into the back seat. No distracted driving! He chuckled at the irony of the situation as he realized that he wasn’t actually driving anywhere. Man, he really hated traffic. Mr. and Mrs. Strand hated when the boys were moody. At least, that’s what Virgil had concluded. Mrs. Strand got a very forced smile whenever Virgil and Logan returned to the house and didn’t return her cheerful greetings. They were new to the foster system, that much was obvious. Logan was polite but closed off. Virgil watched Logan as he neatly hung his backpack on the wall and nodded to Mrs. Strand. Virgil let his own bag fall to the floor only to have Logan pick it up and shoot him a look. Virgil sighed apologetically and Logan huffed in forgiveness. Mrs. Strand cleared her throat and smiled. She hated how the boys seemed able to communicate without her knowing what was going on. “Virgil, that was very nice of Logan, what do you say?” The boys blinked. They looked at each other in surprise. They both knew exactly what Mrs. Strand wanted and they both reached the conclusion that giving into such a ridiculous request was the last thing they wanted. You didn’t have to say ‘thank you’ or ‘you’re welcome’ if you were the Storm boys. You looked out of one another and did without a second thought. If one was in the wrong, you owned up to it, if you were in the right, you fought for it. They didn’t owe each other anything because everything they did for one another was an act of protective love. The difficulty was trying to explain this to a grownup who had never been in their position. The idea that they would have to had never occurred to the boys. Now, here they were, with Mrs. Strand staring them down and growing impatient, “Virgil.” She said, jerking her head in Logan’s direction. “That’s quite alright, ma’am.” Logan said sincerely, “Virgil doesn’t -” “No,” the woman cut him off with a raised hand, “Virgil, what do you say to Logan?” Virgil’s face turned red with embarrassment and then pale with anger. Logan read his expression and his mind flew. In a flash he assessed the situation and formulated a plan. If Virgil was surprised when Logan suddenly charged down the hall and past Mrs. Strand, the woman was stunned. The small boy pushed past her roughly and didn’t look back. He mounted the stairs quickly, clutching the railing as his glasses bounced up and down on his nose. Mrs. Strand turned a confused face after Logan and then looked to Virgil and then back towards the stairs. She couldn’t seem to make up her mind as to whether she should chase after the boy or drill the teen about what was wrong. She seemed on the verge of making up her mind when Virgil moved past her too, “Logan?!” He disappeared up the stairs, leaving Linda Strand to stare on in silence. Virgil found Logan sitting quietly on his bed. The boy looked up expectantly as Virgil entered. He seemed to relax somewhat, “Oh good, I was afraid Mrs. Strand was coming up and not you.” Virgil smirked, “You don’t like her either?” Logan looked ashamed, “No, she’s not the type of person I would ever imagine would have interesting kids. Or kids at all for that matter.” He slid over so Virgil could settle next to him. The teen wrapped a comforting arm around him, and Logan took the invitation to nuzzle close to the dark warmth and solid body next to him. “How’re you feeling?” Virgil asked as he ran his fingers through Logan’s hair. Logan shrugged, “The pain medication I took earlier is starting to wear off.” Virgil tensed, “Pain medication? What?!” Logan did his best to hide a flinch, “I had a headache this morning. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Virgil took a deep breath, “No, no, sorry for freaking out. I think I still have some stuff in my room from Patton. I’ll get you some.” It wasn’t a question, but Logan nodded. He sighed as Virgil drew away. He immediately missed the warmth of the other individual, but the teen was back in a matter of moments. He handed his brother a single pill and a half empty water bottle. Logan obediently swallowed the pill and chased it down with a few gulps of water. He let himself fall back against Virgil. “Tomorrow’s another day.” He stated with a feeling of dread. Virgil huffed, “Redundant but you’re not wrong.” Logan groaned and sunk deeper into the comfort of his brother’s grasp. Virgil looked over him worriedly, “You okay?” Logan shrugged noncommittedly before staring thoughtfully off into the distance. Virgil watched the brown eyes trace imaginary lines through the air, darting around. His face grew relaxed as he let thoughts drift in and out of his active mind. Virgil could tell when a particularly interesting thought captured his attention. His eyes lit up and he got very still. Virgil playfully poked the younger boy’s side, “What’s going on in that brain of yours?” Logan blinked a few times before he smiled sheepishly. “I was thinking about the time we planned to sneak out and buy some hair dye to change your hair.” Virgil smiled at the memory, “Oh yeah,” he laughed softly, “we were so excited and then we both fell asleep. You were so bummed about it the next day. It was almost funny.” Logan huffed and shoved Virgil away, only to have the older and bigger boy tackle him and pin him under his larger form. Logan grunted and shifted, wriggling around. He finally let himself go limp and resigned himself to his fate. Virgil got comfortable and let his eyes close. It was peaceful. A small pocket of quiet carefree fun in the midst of unknown realities and the feeling of impending doom that haunted them. Virgil felt sleep tugging at him when Logan spoke up again, “We should really do our homework.” Virgil turned his head so as to see Logan better, “Don’t act like you haven’t done it already.” Logan sighed, “Yes, I have. Have you, though?” Virgil smirked. “Yep.” He popped the ‘P’ happily, “We had a sub for my last class and while the rest of the class watched a movie, I did homework.” Virgil was fairly behind the rest of his age group. Neglecting one’s education to work full time to support a plan to take care of your little brother, turns out, does have consequences. Despite this, Virgil was catching up fast and he had one on one meetings with teachers to help him progress. Virgil had always been a good student, when given the opportunity. He had trouble staying motivated, though. His passions drove him to pursue English, writing, art, and subjects that allowed him to express himself and his thoughts behind the safety of a piece of paper or some other material. Math and science, on the other hand, drove him to resentment. He understood that the material was somewhat important but that didn’t change the fact that he had no desire to invest himself in those areas. Logan’s finger dug into Virgil’s cheek. “Are you listening to me?” The brown eyes flashed an amused light from behind the glasses. Virgil blinked a few times, “Uuuuuuhhhhh…I agree completely with whatever it is you just said?” The emo offered a toothy grin. Logan raised an eyebrow, “I asked you a question, Verge.” Virgil’s grin grew slightly wider, “Ah.” Logan rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Okay, first, get off me you weigh a ton!” He shoved at Virgil’s shoulders to emphasize his point. Virgil let himself relax completely for a moment before rolling off the smaller form. Logan grumbled and straightened himself out somewhat. “Secondly, I asked if you were still interested in dying your hair.” Virgil blinked. The dream of having a mop of unnaturally colored hair was one that Virgil had promised himself that he would someday do. However, it was hardly something that he had given much thought to in the past few years. He had been busy pursuing other plans and fantasies. Now, though, he could see some of the old Logan eagerly anticipating his answer. A request for adventure, to be Lolo and Verge once more with no thoughts towards parents, responsibilities, or eyes watching their every move. Virgil smirked and Logan’s whole face lit up. He jumped up and shot a glance at the clock; he estimated they had two hours before dinner would be ready. Plenty of time for them to sneak away, purchase the necessary supplies, and return before either of the Strands would come looking for them. Virgil seemed to read his thoughts because he dragged himself to his feet and disappeared into the room he was staying in. He returned with a wallet and a box of snake cakes, “Ready?” He asked as he slid the window open. Logan nodded eagerly and, together, they climbed out into the dying light. Patton woke to the sound of his phone going off. Blearily, he waved his hand around, searching for the device. He squinted but, without his glasses, it was impossible for him to see the number. Stifling a yawn, he accepted the call. “Hello?” He muttered sleepily, “WHERE ARE THEY YOU…” The rest of the sentence was lost as Patton threw his phone across the room. He blinked in surprise before scrambling to turn on a light and find his device. He clambered about for a few seconds before he finally located it. Luckily, it wasn’t broken. He carefully brought it to his ear once more. “Hello?!” The voice on the other end was a man’s voice and it was, thankfully, much quieter than the original speaker. “Y-yes?” Patton breath shakily, trying to wrap his sleepy mind around what the heck was going on. “Is this Patton Sanders?!” “It is…who is this?” Patton shifted uncomfortably. Who could be calling him at, he glanced at his clock, 11:42 PM? “My name is David Strand, we met when you brought Logan and Virgil Storm to the police.” Patton’s heart sunk, “What happened?” He demanded. His voice sounded small and strange and far away. There was a beat of silence on the other end. “We were hoping you could answer that.”

Notes:

My sister told me that I need to stop ending chapters on cliff hangers...I refused.

Tag list:

@bunny222

#fanfiction #sanders sides fic #Baby Bird Fly Home #thomas sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #My writing

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carolinenicolettes · 5 years

Text

MEET CAROLINE ESTELLE NICOLETTE !

(IN)CORRECT QUOTE -

“ this is taking too long ! i’m going to miss the farmer’s market ! ” —scary terry or scary caroline? who knows

“ she liked messy beds and movie nights without any lights on. she liked the quiet company of a few good friends. her idea of love was gentle and silent, like a whisper of a touch. some things are magical and magic, contrary to popular opinion, is often found in the most ordinary of places. ”

BASIC

NAME: caroline estelle nicolette NICKNAMES: n o p e it is caroline or NADA AGE: 21 BIRTHDAY: may 1st SPECIES: starchild GENDER: cisfemale PRONOUNS: she/her

FAMILY

MOTHER: amelia nicolette — born into money, massive name in the fashion industry, only wears fashionable power suits and celestial themed jewelry, drinks expensive whiskey neat FATHER: unknown PARENTS: raised by her mother, kind of. had a nanny named maggie growing up whom she loved dearly and was very good friends with a doorman named robert as well. it takes a village, you know. FAMILY: direct relation to the nicolette family that you all know and love aka odette. caroline’s mother is odette’s father’s sister. SIBLINGS: not at all.

PHYSIAL ATTRIBUTES

FACE CLAIM: scarlett leithold NATIONALITY: american HEIGHT: 5′7 WEIGHT: 139lbs BUILD: slender, and a bit insecure about that HAIR: long with a subtle wave , nearly down to her waist for now HAIR COLOR: golden blonde with a few summery platinum highlights EYE COLOR: baby bluuuue DOMINANT HAND: left ANOMALIES: during warmer months, and nearly year round since moving to california, there are little freckles dusted across her nose SCENT: seasalt, cocounut, sunscreen . . . . and occasionally mon paris by ysl ACCENT: she fought against that new york accent tooth and nail so none ALLERGIES: cats but also bullshit DISORDERS: dbd — dumb bitch disorder FASHION: an odd mix of vintage. corduroy dresses, plaid skirts, ribbed turtlenecks, velvet headbands, doc marten boots. a lil 60s, a lil 70s, a lil 90s. despite having quite a bit of money, she’s always wearing at least one thing that looks hand-me-down and that’s because her mother never threw anything away, so it likely is. NERVOUS TICS: rocks back and forth from her toes to her heels, death grip on a camera strap, tucking her hair behind her ears QUIRKS: collects enamel pins, always has a camera on her, closes her eyes when trying to focus on listening

LIFESTYLE

RESIDES: east side, victoria BORN: new york city RAISED: new york city VEHICLE: black 1969 chevy camaro, rarely ever drives it though as she bikes/skates most places PHONE: iphone 11 pro :\ COMPUTER: mac desktop collecting DUST PETS: too busy sneezing bc of odette’s cat

HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATION: graduated COLLEGE EDUCATION: senior MAJOR: museum studies, photography MINOR: film studies CAREER: freelance photographer, current waste of space living off of that family $$$ EXPERIENCE: apprenticeships in fashion photography, internships in museum curation TRAINED IN: photography and classical ballet (reluctantly) OTHER: literally just .... she’s had a camera of some sort in her hand since she was like 12

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: liberal RELIGION: worships the ground stevie nicks, cher, and debbie harry walk on but that’s about it BELIEFS: you have to be really careful when buying sweaters from thrift stores because 80% of them are absolutely haunted MISDEMEANORS: none FELONIES: none TICKETS AND/OR VIOLATIONS: NONE DRUGS: once or twice but she’s strung out enough on her own SMOKES: weed, on occasion. cigarettes are gross. ALCOHOL: leisurely, mostly socially. Queen of Beer Pong™ DIET: fairly healthy, not at all picky, a little bougie.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: labels are stupid SEXUAL ORIENTATION: and sexuality is fluid MARTIAL STATUS: never going to happen CHILDREN: *nervous laughter* AVAILABILITY: not at all LOOKING FOR: she’s actually legally blind so

LANGUAGES: english, french

PHOBIAS: fuck spiders SPECIFICALLY. might cry but also doesn’t want you to kill it just... take it out and awaaaay HOBBIES: photography, film — the act of and the watching of, hiking, live shows, bothering odette. literally has/had 3294328049 of them but is really only good at photography/film TRAITS: + adaptable, loyal, charismatic, clever, playful, adventurous ; - flighty, forgetful, cynical, unforgiving, disorganized, impatient SOCIAL MEDIA: the works - snapchat, twitter, instagram

FAVOURITE

LOCATION: photo pit at small venue concerts, anywhere within 10 feet of the pacific SPORTS TEAM: whomst GAME: playin w people’s HEARTS ...... jk ....... kinda MUSIC: haim, fleetwood mac, the aces... any band with a female lead singer SHOWS: ghost adventures, big little lies MOVIES: frances ha, almost famous, bob dylan: don’t look back RADIO STATION: anything that strictly plays oldies FOOD: loves baked goods BEVERAGE: cold brew coffee, cinnamon spice tea COLOR: a nice dusty rose :\

CHARACTER

MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good MBTI: isfp — the adventurer ENNEAGRAM: type 7, the enthusiast ZODIAC: taurus HOGWARTS HOUSE: hufflepuff TAROT CARD: the empress TV TROPES: max mayfield, serena van der woodsen, ainsley howard, donna sheridan and honestly? eloise SONG: summer girl - haim

IDEOLOGIES: shove it down shove all the emotions DOWN do not feel. you can tell a lot about a person based on the music they listen to when they’re sad. three is the luckiest number.

THE RUNDOWN

amelia nicolette never intended to be a mother. she was freshly 21, inches from a moment that could launch her career in the fashion industry, and she hadn’t been in love or even interested in the idea since she was seventeen. so when a one night stand with a wealthy older man, left her with morning sickness and an odd appetite for two, she was less than thrilled.

he was even less thrilled, insisting that she terminate the pregnancy. i’ll drive you, he’d said in a hushed tone. only then did she see the tan line wrapped around his ring finger. a married man. a one night stand. and a complete bastard . amelia decided, then and there, to carry to term and then put the baby up for adoption.

until may 1st at 3AM on the dot when the most obnoxious scream split through the air. a baby, just slightly too small, kicking and screaming relentlessly was born in manhattan. a baby who wouldn’t shut up until she was placed in the arms of her mother, where she fell quiet and calm and she slept.

amelia nicolette never intended to fall in love, but holding her tiny baby girl, she knew then and there that she was a goner. caroline, as a song that sounded like joy played from a radio at the nurse’s station. estelle, for the stars. nicolette, the only family name she’d ever need.

for three years, it was just the two of them in a new york penthouse, and amelia learned quickly that she was good at being a mother. but that didn’t change her free-spirited nature or the way her heart had a tendency to yearn for more. she had the resources, and caroline was old enough — . . . and she’d been sketching for years, sitting on top of a portfolio that piled a mile high.

along comes nanny, maggie, and thus began the life she’d lead for the rest of her childhood. mom spent a lot of time at work, building a fashion brand that went international by the time caroline was 6. because of this, she was gone more often than not, leaving caroline to grow up under the watchful eye of a nanny.

but she called every night. made it home for every big holiday, every recital, every birthday. in the summers, caroline would spend her time split between visiting her mother, visiting odette, and visiting a beach house in victoria. there was a certain lack of permanence that caused her to be adaptable, allowed her to be comfortable with change and give into the whims of a free spirit like her mother’s.

but people filtered in and out, came and went, and on the flip side of the same coin, there was a sense of detachment , a fear of getting too close to people who would move out or move on.

despite this, caroline never found herself to be lonely. she was a friendly little thing with bright eyes and a sparkling curiosity, picking up hobbies instead of toys, but never quite being exceptional at any of them. she made friends with doormen and caused problems for the people behind the desk. she became good, early on, at keeping herself busy, making her own fun – . . . all things that have very much carried into adulthood.

she was lucky, and she’s fully aware of it which is why, from a young age, she always did her best to find ways to give that luck to people who seemed to need it.

things had a tendency to be tumultuous, what with her mother coming and going and her very best friend being in and out of the hospital, but she tried to go with the flow as best as she could. things were good but never truly exceptional.

until she met jude. he’d been in the same children’s wing as odette, and they’d known each other for a little bit before caroline met him. the three of them were inseparable, at first, simply best friends. but as they got older, feelings shifted and two friends became more than that.

our girl was in love for the very first time. and it was sweet and gentle and everything a first love is supposed to be. over time, that love grew, just as they did, and it was visible to anyone with eyes that they were in love. for two years, it was good, he was good.

and then he wasn’t. despite two years of remission and a healthy life, he fell ill again. there was nothing to do but stand by and watch as six months passed by, far too quickly, and he slipped away into nothing. ultimately passing away just a week before his 20th birthday.

caroline didn’t allow herself to feel it, for a while, lingering in the denial stage of grief for far too long. new york felt empty without him, without odette, without her mother, and it didn’t take much for her to pack her things and join her mother overseas, taking a gap year from school and focusing on herself, on her photography.

she spent a lot of time with a press pass around her neck. fashion shows and fashion shoots. major events and sports games. concerts and festivals. but there was one thing she loved more than anything else, and that was capturing the off-guard joy of life in candids of strangers on the street or in the crowds of bars and concerts. she found her own style, her own way of storytelling through a lens, and slowly but surely she began to heal.

still, there was no way around the way her heart felt a little heavier, a little darker, and how smiles from strangers at the other end of the bar made her stomach churn. she developed an aversion to new relationships of any sort, anything deeper than surface level becoming a bit too close for comfort.

and while life traveling was fun, she missed having a sense of home, so she went to where the only other person who felt like home was, finding herself moving into a house with odette in victoria.

she’s been around for a couple of months, coming out of a gap year and looking to finish her degree in the spring. victoria, for now, is home.

these days she’s a little bit more cynical. a little bit less likely to let people too close. a little bit lost but also who isn’t when they’re 21

#oof #— &&. CAROLINE ; bio .

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lightsandlostbells · 5 years

Text

Skam France, season 3, episode 1 reaction

here we go again

So I’m actually pretty intrigued going into this season, because on the one hand, I had some giant problems with Skam France’s first two seasons, and I know a lot of people felt that it was one of the weaker remakes (myself included). On the other hand, unlike with S2, they were able to adjust for viewer feedback with S3, possibly course correcting for some of the common complaints, and they’ve promised a lot of changes to a beloved story. It will be interesting to see how much Skam France grows into its own this season.

Also that Maxence guy sure has a face

I was not a fan of Skam France’s S1 and S2; up to this point, I’d say it’s my least favorite remake. So upfront, here are my main concerns going into the season:

The biggest problem with S1 and S2 was that it was such a copy and paste of the original show, to the point where it didn’t make sense a lot of the time. It was often like they’d redone 80-90% of the original material, with some slight changes, but then they failed to account for how those slight changes would affect the story or the scene. So we got weird inconsistencies and contradictions because the writers didn’t take out stuff from the original that no longer made sense. Or jokes or events happening without the setup that made it work. Characterization that didn’t feel natural or play to the actors’ strengths. Now we have learned that apparently the Skam France crew wanted to do more changes but were told to not stray too much, and that they have been given much more leeway to deviate from the original show with their S3 and S4. S3 and especially S4 are supposed to be heavily changed; I really hope they’re not exaggerating and that they’re going to be making bigger changes like story elements and plot structure, to the point where we can’t predict the upcoming clips based on the original show.

Skam France lacks a lot of the authenticity of the original and other remakes, such as casting older professional actors for many of the roles, or the overall more “polished” look and vibe of the show. Which cannot be changed at this point, and which does not bother everyone, but for me it can seriously detract from the material. It’s one thing to watch spotty teens act like spotty teens and screw up and act immature; it’s another to watch 22-25 year-old hotties make the same mistakes on screen, because I can’t completely reconcile the fact that maybe they should know better by now, heh. Rawness and vulnerability are such an essential part of Skam’s storytelling and so they need to account for that. Actually I think that’s why they reaaaaally need to dig deep into the quiet and “mundane” moments, because often those come across as some of the most emotionally fragile.

Don’t hate me: Lucas was one of my least favorite characters on Skam France in the previous seasons and my least favorite Isak across Skams. (I mean, it had to be one of them?) It’s nothing against the actor as a person but I always felt like he was acting rather than giving a natural performance. And not gonna lie, I was kind of creeped out by him in a way I haven’t felt with other Isaks. Like when he was snaking Emma, or when she called him on it and he had to respond, I didn’t get any sense of ambiguity or conflict or messiness - there was something a little blank and robotic about the way he was reacting. Not just in an “Isak is putting on a fake persona” way but in a “I would not be surprised if this dude had a collection of human heads in a freezer somewhere” way. But I am willing to give him another chance! There is more emotional range from his character in this season, and hopefully love will bring out more softness in him. With the changes to S3, maybe they’ll also play more to his strengths, and incorporate more organic and original moments so he’s not stuck recreating Isak’s greatest hits.

Scenes are RUSHED to fit the time limits per episode. This I dread, because S3 has so many scenes that are dependent on the pacing. Part of the effectiveness of Hjernen er alene or Minutt for minutt, for example, was that we got to listen to the long pauses, the silence. The scenes felt languid and peaceful and took time to let the atmosphere build. Skam France frequently didn’t have time for that, and consequently the mood of the clip often didn’t land, the actors had to rush through their dialogue instead of sinking into their characters’ emotions thoroughly. The best way to fix this would be to rewrite scenes so they’re not rushed - like instead of trying to cram a seven minute scene into four, rewrite the scene so there’s only four minutes of material, if you get what I mean. Or write a new scene that works within the time frame. Eliminate scenes that might not be necessary - personally every scene in Skam S3 feels necessary to me, but that might not be the case with Skam France S3 due to changes in the story.

Overuse of music. Skam France is one of several remakes that use music in almost every clip, typically in predictable ways - song starts clip, song ends clip over the credits. It lessens the impact of the soundtrack and makes it feel more obligatory and less vital to the scenes. So stick to music that matters and helps the tone or impact of the clips, rather than shoehorning it just because.

The directing could feel detached/distant in a way that didn’t serve the material. At the same time, sometimes it also got so OTT and soap opera-ish that it was comical. Hopefully they can find a balance that serves the characters’ emotions without going overboard.

Previously they filmed two seasons at one so they couldn’t make changes based on viewer feedback. That’s still in effect here, as we’re getting both S3 and S4 this spring. If there’s something people hate about S3, they can’t change it in S4. However, they did have plenty of time to incorporate feedback from the first two seasons before making S3 and S4, so I do have a lot of hope that they have fixed some of the biggest flaws. We know that they have changed a title of an episode to be “the boy who was afraid of the dark” so I believe they have changed the rebirth symbolism from Skam S3 into something different, probably light and dark symbolism to match Lucas’ name associations with light, and that is a huge step in the right direction.

Anyway, that’s out of the way, so here’s the actual episode.

Episode 1

Clip 1 - Sad reflection time

The very first clip of the season is new and not an adaptation, so that’s a promising start.

Lucas is sitting alone on a bench in a park. Lots of social media WhatsApp messages and Facebook notifications going off. The boy squad is talking about going to Emma’s party later and bringing beer and weed. Lucas stares moonily at man-woman pairs and a group of girls. I don’t think either do much for him. He puts the phone in his pocket. He sees a group of dudes and is perhaps more affected, so maybe he finds one of them attractive, or he’s just reminded of his own social situation, wishing he could be completely relaxed with his squad and not hiding a secret from them. The title of this clip was “Disconnected” which he obviously is, surrounded by people but still alone. He blue steels into the distance as we cut to the title card.

I usually save social media comments for the end, but the best part of this clip is the juxtaposition with Lucas’ IG post made right before this clip. A shot of the park, about him living his best life. Of course that’s some giant irony, because we know from the clip that he’s not living his best life, he’s detached from everyone around him and unhappy. So either he made that post with a lot of sarcasm, or specifically to put up the appearance that he’s fine. Or both.

Clip 2 - Good thing they were on the ground floor?

WILD N CRAZY TEEN PARTY TIME

Daphne is talking to a girl, but gets interrupted when a guy enters to make out with the girl. Daphne is like … OK then! And walks away. Daphne, my #1 of Skam France, I missed you the most.

Daphne goes to dance with Emma who also is drawn away by make-outs, this time with Raptor Alex. Daphne again is like ... OK then! She looks around and sees so many couples making out at this party. So I guess she’s gonna feel romantically and sexually frustrated like Vilde did in S3.

I got a laugh at her trying to connect with that younger girl over not connecting with anyone, when some dude swoops in to kiss that girl. Poor Daphne, trying to assert her older wisdom, be so helpful, and it didn’t work out.

In the kitchen we see our French boy squad. Arthur (glasses), Basile (no glasses), and Yann and Lucas of course.

Can I just say, thanks Skam France for adding to the scant glasses rep across these damn remakes? It’s wild to me that there are so few characters who have glasses in the Skam Extended Universe. There’s Amira from Druck, Luca from wtFOCK, Poonam from Skam Austin ... errr… that guy who sat next to Noora in S1 … some of the theater kids ... did I forget anyone?

Lucas talks about an attractive girl by saying, “Who cares about the size of the boobs?” which is truly a 100% authentic statement from a bonafide Kinsey 0 heterosexual man, yessir.

They’re interrupted by a girl running to the sink to puke. The boy squad is really funny with their reactions, Arthur is already winning me over with his facial expressions. I laughed at Arthur and Yann in the background when Lucas is flirting.

French Emma is called Chloé. Lucas gets Basile to take over hair-holding duties. Not gonna lie, I don’t really buy Lucas as this dude with mad game when Yann is right there (or Arthur, probably). Yann has got to be just as smooth. But they gave Lucas more helpful dialogue, I guess? It’s still slick like Isak but a little milder, he’s trying to calm down Chloé, he doesn’t neg her. So perhaps that helped him win her over.

He also shotguns with her which would be smooth except about 3% of the smoke made it into her mouth, but then again she seems like a novice so she probably didn’t care.

Their moment is interrupted by Maria hacking some more, but soon she and the other boys leave, and Lucas and Chloé make out. This is a pretty big divergence from Isak, who started making out with Emma while his friends were present. It was all a performance, and he clearly got uncomfortable once he was alone with Emma and eventually shuts it down. Lucas’ flirting is presumably a performance, too, but he could’ve stopped it after the boys left. Instead he goes forward with it.

Lucas does not start to show signs of discomfort until they’ve moved to the hallway and Chloé is unbuttoning his shirt and kissing his neck. We didn’t really see him show much doubt up until this point - like we saw Isak take a moment to gather himself when he realized he would have to flirt with Emma in the bathroom, the boys were pointing out it was “his girl.” But Lucas didn’t seem to falter until this point. I wish they’d shown more conflict earlier in the clip since they are emphasizing him putting on an act (like with the IG post). IDK if there’s also more of a self-imposed struggle he’s going through - maybe he’s also putting more pressure on himself to hook up with girls, not just to look straight but to be straight? It seemed like he might have even gone through with hooking up with Chloé had the cops not come up to the door. He was even starting to kiss her neck back.

When the cops show up, he takes advantage of the distraction and literally runs away from Chloé and jumps out a window, which is HILARIOUS, except this dude just dropped the weed on the floor in plain sight. Lucas, you’re a dingus.

I want jumping out of the window to become some symbolic running gag much like Isak struggling with his locker was, like every time Lucas has a problem he jumps out of the nearest window, in an increasingly dramatic fashion with glass spraying everywhere or him leaping out of an exploding building several stories onto the roof of a car. Doesn’t matter the situation, if there’s a window and an issue he doesn’t want to face, he ain’t gonna take the stairs. And I guess at one point the window won’t open so he has to stop jumping and running from his problems, and then his version of O Helga Natt involves climbing up and going through a window. But mostly the increasingly dramatic exits.

Clip 3 - Mika, Lisa, Manon, and a cranky gay hamster

The Skam France team got the most important detail of Isak’s season right, which is the box of tissues beside Lucas’ bed.

When Lucas wakes up he has a text from his mom, a message about going to church and praying for God to punish Lucas’ father for his sins, which SURE IS SOME SHIT. That isn’t just happy cloud religion, it’s hoping a vengeful God will strike down your enemies.

The text itself seems … coherent? Just religious. IDK if anything was lost in translation. Isak’s mom’s texts often seemed more rambling, or straight-up Bible verses about sin.

But hurrah, they’re keeping the religious themes in this season! Lucas is another Biblical name so I’m interested to see how they develop that symbolism.

Lucas’ mom says she is praying for the both of them and that she misses him, so there’s more of a sense of wanting to connect with her son - like Isak’s mom’s texts were pretty intimidating and I could see how he’d feel closed off from them and would find them more judgmental and a sign of her mental illness more than anything, not necessarily a sign of her missing her son. Lucas’ mom is more clearly reaching out to him, I guess he’s just not responding or giving anything back.

Yann texts Lucas that the police found stuff at Emma’s, and he wants to know if Lucas has the weed. Lucas is trying to find the weed when Mika and Lisa come in with Manon on the phone. Lucas does not greet Manon with enthusiasm although we will see that they’ve got a fairly warm relationship.

Mika has an Alt Er Love phone case, which is very cute and a sweet nod to Skam! Every season of Skam France so far has had a shout-out to the original show, which I think is a nice gesture.

Mika says Lucas has problems like “how to get a girl to deflower him” which sure is an interesting comment. Either Mika truly does not suspect anything, which is doubtful, IMO, or he’s just covering for him in front of Manon or trying to make Lucas feel like they don’t know his secret, which is considerate of him.

Mika compares Lucas to no better than a hamster because all he does is sleeps, eats, and poops, like a hamster and Lisa thinks that it would’ve been better to get a hamster. Lucas gives her an offended look. LMAO.

Manon is being nice to Lucas, which is sweet of her. She has Lucas show off the apartment. So this is a different apartment from season 2? Were they not able to get the other one? Occam’s Razor, I assume this was a filming/location issue.

Manon asks about the rent and Lucas says his dad feels bad because he can’t take him in, so he’s helping Lucas out. Wasn’t Manon supposed to pay for Lucas’ rent because her parents didn’t know she was moving out of the flat and in with Charles? I guess their patronage stopped because she couldn’t avoid telling them that she was leaving for London with Charles. Which makes me wonder why they bothered to keep in that part at all last season. (Or maybe again, because they had to switch apartments so Manon’s parents wouldn’t unknowingly pay for someone’s rent in a place she’d never lived.)

Manon asks about Lucas’ mom, whether she will be OK, and he says that she’ll be OK (obviously he is not sure of that), and then she asks if Lucas is seeing someone. Doubtful that he realizes how loaded that question is, considering Manon has seen what’s on his phone! He does this blatant lie where he pretends Mika is calling for his phone back to avoid answering.

I do not actually get why they’re doing Manon in London? Or why they redid this scene so closely? In OG S3, there were several reasons this scene existed, such as showing the mother’s religious text and Jonas asking about the weed, and planting some seeds for Isak being uncomfortable with some of Eskild’s behavior (like Eskild talking about lavender scent). But it was also a way to explain that Isak was living at Kollektivet, and a followup to Noora after her season and a setup to explain why William wasn’t around anymore, and we don’t need either of those things here. Manon directly offered her room to Lucas at the end of S2, so we know he would be living there, and there’s no reason to write off Charles because the actor isn’t leaving the show. The only thing you’d kinda need to address is why they’re in a different apartment, which could be easily explained with a line or two or dialogue (Mika or Lisa complaining that something was better/worse at the old apartment).

Noora’s whole subplot of sorts in S3, with her and William going to London and her returning when their relationship faltered ... I don’t know what Julie’s plans were had Thomas Hayes not left the show, but that definitely seemed like a development necessitated by his decision. Julie even managed to write in some parallels between Isak’s and Noora’s romantic situations to create some thematically relevant material from this development. But we still don’t actually need to do that with Skam France! The actor who plays Charles isn’t going anywhere from what I know. Like I don’t get why they can’t just have Manon and Charles living at their own place, as planned, and then they’re in the background with parties and stuff. Especially keeping in mind the time restrictions on the episodes, and that they’ll likely need to cut stuff, and this is something that could probably go without affecting the main story.

Skam Italia also wrote out the Noora character and sent her to England during their Isak’s season, too, and I thought it was kinda unnecessary, although that I can understand more because they switched S2 and S3, so it was a reason to keep Eleonora away from Edoardo (the William) until her own season. But overall it’s not something that I think needs to be carried over from remake to remake. I hope they have a good reason to send Manon away other than just repeating the story from the original show, especially considering that IMO that drama ended up dragging down season 4 (but that’s a whoooooole different essay).

Clip 4 - That’s enough, Basile

It’s school on Monday and Daphne is running around the courtyard, handing out flyers. Daphne’s existence is one thing that improves any Monday, personally.

The boy squad is all pissing in a row, sans Lucas, who’s on his phone waiting for the others. Once again he is disconnected from his pals, this time from the manliest of all male bonding rituals, the synchronized bladder release.

Yann and Arthur wash their hands and Basile does not, so guess who is going straight to the bottom of my boy squad rankings? Ewwww.

And he says it’s because he touched the girl’s butt on Saturday? …. The girl who was puking? Yeah, he could not plummet faster.

Basile starts going off about a wildlife documentary, referring to “females” as marking their scent on males, and IDK if the connotations are the same in French but men referring to women as “females” outside of a scientific context usually is a red flag.

And he hasn’t washed his hands since Saturday? But he’s jerked off???? I’m gonna puke. Yann points out he’s gonna smell like dick.

This conversation tanked Basile for me, because afterwards I could not stop thinking of his stank hands whenever he was on screen.

Daphne hands the flyers to the guys. She’s renovating the common room and is gonna make it “the place to be”. I guess they’ve just dropped her awesome party or whatever? Or is that happening in S4? Even though it’s kinda pointless, wasn’t it supposed to attract older boys and make the girl squad really cool? It’s been like over a year since they wanted to plan that, lol.

Basile seems super into Daphne and is willing to do the project, although Arthur is like, no, you aren’t. Basile, you have time to grow on me, but right now I do not approve of you hooking up with Daphne with your disgusting unwashed hands. She deserves The Best.

The other guys think Daphne is weird but Basile thinks she’s hot, so you know, he has that going for him. Though I think he would fall for any woman who acknowledged his existence. He would fall in love with the Annabelle doll if it looked his way.

Lucas gives the others a high five as he leaves, except for Basile, because he says Basile is disgusting. My favorite thing Lucas has ever done, tbh.

Basile does a pratfall over the bench on the way to class. That’s one way to get Daphne’s attention! But what makes it really funny is that Arthur stumbles over a rock at the EXACT SAME TIME in the background. I mean Basile is obsessing over everyone woman in the vicinity when clearly he and Arthur have some kind of soul bond going. (Arthur is probs too good for Basile, though. Arthur/Yann all the way.)

Things that did not appear in this clip: penguins, helicopters, treasure maps, mysterious hot new students making eyes at Lucas. Clearly there was no reason for any of those to be present. I don’t even know why I mentioned it.

(This aired on January 21st, Skam France, do you even know your audience???) (JK but for real.)

Clip 5 - The beginning of a beautiful friendship

Lucas stares at his teacher, who is wearing a sheer top that reveals her bra. I have to say he doesn’t look like uninterested. Arthur comments on it, too, that Lucas is checking out the hot teacher. Which is what I would believe if I did not have deeper insight into Lucas’ preferences.

Imane shows up and shoos Arthur away, and she asks Lucas whether he lost something on Saturday. When he asks, “What are you talking about?” she’s like, “Your virginity.” HA, that is an excellent burn, Lucas is toast.

We didn’t see Imane when Lucas jumped out the window, but she had to have been nearby for her to realize it was Lucas’ weed instead of anyone else’s. He didn’t take the time to plant it, he just dropped it, so that was less snake-like than Isak. And maybe a little less deserving of the roasting that Imane gives him, since this isn’t a matter of him being inconsiderate, just dumb. Sana was pissed off that Isak would do something like that on purpose and potentially get Eva in trouble; Lucas did it by accident. I guess the end result is the same if weed was found at Emma’s house, no matter how it was left behind.

Imane says they find Daphne’s project annoying, too, so I assume they’re all just doing this to make Daphne happy.

When Imane gets up to leave the teacher is like, no, Alexia and Arthur are now partners and Imane and Lucas are now together. Both Lucas and Imane look positively thrilled about this. Just delighted. I think Arthur’s reaction is meant to be sarcastic but lmao, dude, you get to work with Alexia, that’s a damn privilege.

Clip 6 - Lucas is bad at subtlety

It’s time for Daphne’s meeting! Just the girl squad, boy squad, maybe that girl who was making out with Lucas, and no other new characters of importance.

Lucas shows up, looking as eager as you’d expect. The girls are there sans Manon. They talk about how sad and depressing the room is. It looks OK to me? Like, not super warm and inviting, but they describe it like it’s Azkaban. Daphne is the only one who’s peppy and says they’re going to turn it into something so great people won’t want to leave high school. That sounds like the premise for a horror movie.

Some dudes show up and Daphne is all ready to greet them to her meeting. At first I thought that this lounge was their usual place to hang out, since it looks like one of them had a board game or something, and they had zero idea that a meeting would be happening, lmao.

We get another shot out of the window and for a second I was wondering if a mysterious new student might be standing below, lurking around, perhaps stalking somebody.

The boy squad actually joins Lucas for this meeting, which is nice of them, although in a second I’m going to wish they’d stayed away. Basile thinks Daphne is winking at him, Arthur says she’s just rubbing her eye. Why couldn’t Arthur be the one ship-teased with Daphne?

Oh, and Chloé has arrived. She sends a non-imaginary wink toward Lucas. I know she’s probably not going to stay that way, but for now Chloé is a very cute person.

Just as the boys are telling Lucas that Chloé is into him and asking about their hookup on Saturday, some male model just walks off a photo shoot and into the common room. We know this is significant as the music gets tinkly and Lucas deadass stares at this dude without reservations. Mysterious male model stares back and makes eye contact with Lucas. (I feel like looking into Maxence’s eyes is the gay equivalent of Bird Box, where just one glance is enough to make a guy like Lucas abandon the last remnants of chill and heterosexuality.)

Somehow Lucas does not die from this interaction, but he does keeping sneaking glances at the handsome stranger while Daphne does her awkward introduction. Chill, dead and buried. Heterosexuality on life support.

Basile applauds Daphne in her introduction - OK, I love her too, but calm the fuck down, weirdo. Daphne, don’t encourage him.

When the crowd starts adding their commentary, Imane steps in and tells people that the next one to interrupt Daphne gets their shins broken, which a simple yet iconic moment, especially because Yann certainly seems to get nervous.

Lucas keeps checking out the hottie in the row behind him and I mean, the camera loves that pretty face, so why not?

I already want to kill Basile.

Daphne is also done with him and roasts him when he asks for her number. Everyone giggles, which makes her smile and gives her some confidence, so I guess that’s what Basile’s good for. Except then he’s instantly in love with Daphne so arrrrrgh.

Lucas keeps checking out the view behind him because Basile is not the only one who’s developed a crush.

I like the idea of a musical cue or theme for Lucas and Sexy Newcomer but I’m kinda ehhh about this one, because I can already see it making certain scenes cheesy and overdramatic, like Yann spiking his skateboard or Charles slow-mo racing to Manon levels of unintentional hilarity. Unless Sexy Newcomer’s a pianist? Then I can understand it more if this type of music is relevant to his character.

Clip 7 - Weird is good

Lucas is walking home and what do you know, he sees a snack at the vending machine. Give some credit to Lucas, he goes right up to him. Although he doesn’t say hello, just lurks behind.

I recently watched the series You on Netflix so all these scenes of Lucas staring at the object of his affection with his large unblinking eyes are feeling a lot more ominous than intended.

Dream Boy is like oh sorry, i didn’t see you there! Fucking fake, he probably saw Lucas’ reflection in the glass or something. He can’t decide what to get, so Lucas recommends #24 which is a crunchy choco bar (looks like a granola bar). So in the promos for this season they mentioned “chocolate” as an important element in the story. Maybe crunchy choco will be their always!

Dream Boy gets one crunchy choco bar, and then another one, so there are no more left. His version of taking all the paper towels. He got very lucky that there were only two crunchy chocos left and that Lucas didn’t want the almond & seeds bar instead. He would’ve had to buy the whole damn rack. Dream Boy says one of the crunchy chocos is for Lucas. Except we don’t see them eat the bars, lol.

They sit down and smoke at the bus stop with one seat between them, and I could tell Chloé was gonna come and sit there. But I think it’s also supposed to be some no-homo space between them, like buying choco bars is one thing, but sitting next to each other??? It’s not like they’re married or anything.

They talk about how weird the meeting was, the importance of the common room. Lucas’ future husband says it’s a good opportunity to meet new people, but we know he’s thinking of one person in particular.

Earth Angel is a third year studying literature. Lucas asks whether it’s weird to start a new school five months before graduation. I mean ... they could have just made him Lucas’ age since he’s already like 25 in real life, at that point it’s not going to make much difference if you say he’s 17 or 18. Angelface is like, everything is weird with you! He muses that he too must seem weird. Well, weirdness is a quality I like in an Even, because Even was a giant fucking weirdo and it made him memorable and charming. And we know that our French Even has reasons for people to think he’s weird and is used to it, even if Lucas doesn’t know that yet, so it’s more loaded than Lucas even knows.

No offense but why is Chloé trying to chase Lucas when there is a literal male model on her other side? Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Chloé is like, the meeting was fun, right? Lucas is awkward and Sugar Pie Honey Bunch kindly chimes in that the general opinion is that it was weird. Chloé seems to be like, oh, OK, as if that will be her new opinion to stay on the same page as Lucas. SPHB adds, but we like weird, I think. NOT SO SUBTLE. You know what he means by that.

Chloé introduces herself to the new guy and he introduces himself as Eliott, so I can stop making up stupid nicknames and pretending I don’t know the name of this character they told us about months ago.

There was a really good post by @skambyme about how both S3 remakes so far have done the end of this scene by putting the Emma character literally in the middle of the Isak and Even, while in the original, it’s Isak who ends up between Emma and Even. The remakes have the focus on Emma coming between Isak and Even, and it’s not like a terrible choice to do that or anything, but I think it’s more perceptive in the original to recognize that the biggest obstacle is not Emma, but Isak himself, caught between a girl and a guy, a safe lie and a terrifying truth. It puts the emphasis on Isak’s internal journey rather than a more external obstacle (Emma).

We learn from the credits that Eliott’s last name is Demaury and he has an Instagram account! So already that’s different from Even, who’s a total ghost on social media, except for the birthday video, obviously.

It’s a little funny to me that Arthur and Basile do not have last names according to the credits, though, lmao. Everyone else does and they’re just Those Two Guys on a first name only basis.

Social Media/General Comments

I mentioned it above but I liked that prior to the first clip, they started the season with an IG post from Lucas saying he’s living his best life, of course to contrast with the disconnect he feels in the clip itself. Putting up a facade on social media much like Isak did.

FOR SOME REASON Basile found it necessary to document the sink girl’s puke afer she was done, like … no one wants to see that, bro.

The boys talk about Lucas’ great game with Chloé in a chat, and Basile wants them all to know he has game, too. They just ignore him, lmao. As one should.

Manon and Lucas have a pretty solid friendship going on, which is nice. They’re on heart emoji level and she offers to throw Earl Grey on Mika and Lisa if they bother Lucas too much. I wonder if Lucas will properly come out to her at some point during the season, or confide in her. Especially if she ends up coming back and crashing at the apartment like Noora did - she’ll be around to talk to in person.

Mika not only calls Lucas hetero in a clip, but he refers to him as such in an IG story, and I’m not sure what to make of that yet? Because he knows about the rumors that Manon and Emma told him last season. At some point last season Lucas started crashing in their building/apartment, so Mika must have found him and let him stay over. If he didn’t find him at a gay bar, then what happened? I don’t think Mika legit thinks Lucas is straight; I think he’s just trying to keep up the appearance that he doesn’t suspect Lucas is gay, for Lucas’ sake. I don’t know if that’s the best method, but that’s my guess.

Unless Mika genuinely didn’t think he was gay after Manon and Emma, and he didn’t find Lucas at a gay bar but in some other situation, like IDK, drunk at a park/bus stop/whatever? I doubt it. Or he’s ironically teasing Lucas about his heterosexuality because he suspects otherwise, which is mean, so I doubt that, too.

Basile again talks about how hot Daphne is in a chat … stay away from her, dude. He did wash his hands or sanitize them eventually, thank God.

Manon is posting throwbacks of her and Charles on IG … the fact that it’s a throwback makes me think things are not so great between them right now. Reinforced by her later posting Rupi Kaur quotes, “if you are not enough for yourself you will never be enough for someone else.”

Eliott is doing some type of Instagram puzzle with 4 out of 9 squares currently posted, and I’m not even going to take a guess as to what the finished product will be as of now, but I think it’s a really cool idea for the Even character to do something artsy and mysterious like that, and a fun way to tease the audience.

There was talk about how good Maxence’s acting was, with some divided opinions. I thought his acting was fine for his first clip. IDK how good he’ll end up being with the heavier material of the season, but he seems to have a lot of energy, which is something I find really important with Even, and he had a weird charm that felt right for the character. I know I saw some stuff that he sounded awkward to French speakers.

After the party clip I wrote something like “I really like the boy squad so far!” and it should be clear that my opinion changed to have one glaring exception by the end of the episode, lmao.

I’m already done with Basile, like we had 3 clips with him in it and 2.5 of them had him being obnoxious and creepy about girls. I say 2.5 because I thought he was OK the first time I saw the party clip, just an awkward goober dude, and then later clips retroactively ruined him in that one. The other two clips had a rather large focus on his desperation over girls, like I know basically nothing about Arthur so far, and Yann hasn’t done much yet this season, but I’ve heard a shit ton about Basile being gross. They have plenty of time to redeem him or tone him down, but I hope it happens fast. And Daphne is my favorite character so the thought of her hooking up with him makes me shudder.

That’s one disadvantage of them filming two seasons at once, though ... if they keep up his shtick and people dislike it, they can’t tone it later in the season or in S4 because it’s already filmed.

Overall I thought the use of music has improved. Some scenes started with silence! I liked that song at the very end!

Opinion of unknown popularity: I’m tired of the promo and behind the scenes stuff already.

Skam France is not the only remake that has done this, but it felt like they went on promo overload with this season, no doubt to build hype since the original S3 was such a hit, and I mean, from the perspective that they want people to watch and comment and like and subscribe … yeah, certainly I get it! But one thing that made Skam so special to watch was the lack of promo, the total immersion in the story. Completely not knowing what was coming, having no idea about what happens next. It was very unusual compared to almost every other TV show.

Right now it feels like they’re operating under the idea that everyone has seen the original show. Certainly fandom makes this assumption a lot of the time, but it’s one thing for fandom to do it and another for the director/writers/actors/marketing team to assume it? And I can’t help but feel that this spoils some of the effect of the season. S3, especially in the beginning, relied on a lot of ambiguity that kept you guessing. It was firmly locked into Isak’s POV, so when he doubted Even liked him, so did many of the viewers. We didn’t know that Even was mentally ill at the beginning of the season. We didn’t know Even noticed Isak on his first day of school. We didn’t know Even had a girlfriend. All this promo is giving away so much.

That’s actually an issue I have with the Eliott trailer, because as cool as I find the idea of finally getting that first-day-of-school POV, and although I think it’s a well-made trailer, it does remove a lot of the ambiguity regarding Eliott’s feelings toward Lucas, something that goes a long way toward establishing tension and putting us firmly in Lucas’ head, especially in the early episodes. For example, if Eliott turns out to have a girlfriend, we still know that he does have some feelings for Lucas - we saw Lucas grab his attention in the trailer. Whereas when Isak learns about Sonja, he doubts whether these moments he shared with Even were really what he thought they were, whether Even is actually into him - and the audience can doubt with him, because we don’t know any more than Isak. It doesn’t matter a ton to me as someone who’s seen Isak’s story, but what about someone who hasn’t?

Like I’m just imagining being a French viewer who has never seen the original show - you’d already know so much about where the story is headed just from the promo material. (How much of the audience is made up of total newbies who haven’t seen Skam, anyway?)

Of course, we don’t know how the changes in the story will be affected by spoilers, so perhaps there is a lot that we still won’t see coming. But honestly I would rather just watch the whole season and then get all of the behind the scenes goodies when it’s done. Especially because they’re saying that they’ve changed so much about this season - it would be great to go into that without any hints or spoilers.

I mean I love getting Skam interviews, bloopers, and scripts now, but I’m really glad it’s well after the show ended rather than while the season was airing. I remember the experience of watching live and not knowing where the story was going, and I really think that has a lot to do with Skam’s overall success and intense audience engagement. Some of the remakes have also done this - Skam España S1 and Druck S2 were/are divergent enough from the original seasons that it was exciting to wait for clips not knowing what to expect all the time. But I’m just imagining if Julie was posting a ton of explanations and hints during S3, and if that wouldn’t take a lot of the suspense and fun out of the experience.

Obviously the people involved are extremely proud of making this season, and want to share that love with everybody, so I don’t want to sound like an ass and complain about what they should or should not do. I know, I know, the solution is not to look at the extra material. It’s all optional and for the people who want to read it, everyone else can avoid it. But I’m thinking the best way to do that is just to avoid the tags and discussion of the show, because it felt pretty widely discussed and circulated. Anyway.

This episode on the whole was better than what we saw from S1 and S2 on average. Honestly, there are still some of the same directing weaknesses - not huge things, just like … stuff I would tweak, showing cause and effect, getting from Point A to Point B type stuff. But they’re not as pronounced so I think they can pull it together. I do think this season is going to be better than Skam France’s first two seasons.

I am not French so feel free to clarify or correct me if I misunderstood something.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#skamfr reactions #long post

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elizabeth-234 · 5 years

Text

Chapter Eight

Someone to Care

Chapter Seven

“You will never guess what happened.” She said as she sat down across from Ned in the lunchroom. Peyton opened her brown sack lunch and pulled out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and an apple with a prominent brown spot. Ned looked up from his chicken salad sandwich and smiled, a piece of lettuce falling from his mouth. Peyton indicated where it rested on his shirt and he hastily picked it off. She had been practically vibrating all morning, waiting for the right time to tell Ned.

“I got accepted to an internship program I applied to.” Peyton smiled wide and Ned stared back.

“For who?”

She knew that’s exactly what he would ask first and casually lifted her hand to her face in order to pretend to examine her nails.

“Oh, just at Stark Industries.”

She would’ve given anything to get a picture of Ned’s expression in that moment. He calmly set his sandwich down, wiped his mouth with his napkin, and leaned across the table. In the most serious tone he said, “Peyton, would you mind repeating that for me? I thought I heard you say that you got an internship with Stark Industries. A company famous for not having interns.”

“Well, my dear friend. I am pleased to say that your hearing is still perfect and I can confirm that is precisely what I said.”

“Dude, no way. That’s awesome!” His quick enthusiasm for her was just one of the many reasons Ned was an amazing best friend.

They did their secret handshake. It started with a fist bump, handshake to elbow touch, and blast off with jazz fingers. Their original handshake had begun as a simple fist bump but slowly, over their friendship, had become longer and more complicated. It even transformed depending on the occasion, most notably adding a series of claps adapted from The Parent Trap, one of their favorite movies.

She had known objectively that Ned would be happy for her, but still, she worried. He was such a good friend and maybe this was his breaking point. He had been trying all freshman year to get an internship somewhere. They all said that although he had great promise, to come back in a few years. He needed to get some notches on his belt and once he was older, they would welcome him with open arms. It was difficult to watch the excitement in his face turn to disappointment with every letter that came back. He hadn’t been his normal, happy self all year, adding to Peyton’s guilt of not telling him everything.

“Really, congrats. What are you going to be doing there?”

“Oh, you know, nothing big. I’ll just be cleaning beakers, getting coffee, and paperwork. That sort of thing, probably.”

Peyton felt bad lying to her friend but her resolve stood strong. This was safer for him. Better to not know the real reason or what she was actually going to be doing.

The bell rang and they headed to English, one of her least favorite subjects. Ned and her sat of opposite sides of an isle. So, although technically easy to pass notes, the gap for the walkway caused some slight problems. This hour Ned was not to be deterred. He passed her the first note.

N: So when does it start? You still coming over to help build the Death Star? Can’t believe you are going to be working with Tony Stark! (That was underlined twice.)

P: This weekend actually! Starting off helping with some sort of convention and I know! More like working for him. Rain check on our plans?

N: That started fast. You better be ready to build away when you get back and you have to tell me everything!

Ned was in the middle of passing his response when it was snatched out of his hand.

“Hey! Give that back” Peyton whispered furiously. A dull red creeping up her neck. She really didn’t want the news of her internship to spread around the school and, knowing Flash, he would spread the news like wildfire.

“Just hand it over,” Ned chimed in trying to whisper so he wouldn’t bring the teacher’s attention. Flash continued walking to the garbage at the front of the classroom, giving them a smile over his shoulder. He made sure it was hidden in front of Mrs. Roma but as soon as he turned around, opened and read it on his way back to his seat. A frown replaced his smile. Peyton watched, head turning to follow his movements as he passed her. He deftly moved out of the way of her outstretched hand. But did not dodge the second hand that stole the letter out of his fingers. MJ, who sat two seats behind her, brought it up in a kind of salute and slide it into her bag. Hopefully, she would return it later.

Peyton swung her body forward again at a question directed at her.

“And what, Miss Parker, is the significance of Caliban using the language that Prospero taught him, against him in the end?”

“Um. Well, I think. It has to be because. I’m sorry, I don’t know Mrs. Roma.”

“And that class, is why it is important to pay attention to our discussion and not to others. Now, please turn to act one scene two to look at this fascinating interaction.”

She brought her palms under her thighs and squeezed her body tense. Peyton had known the answer, having read the exact scene on the subway to school this morning but Flash had distracted her. She didn’t want him reading their note. It was none of his business and it was rude. But, she should have been paying attention and not let him get under her skin so much.

Although English wasn’t her favorite subject, she still enjoyed being at school. Contrary to popular opinion among teenagers, Peyton loved the classroom setting. She could sit listening all day to her peers spout their knowledge. Discussions were even better. When two of her classmates might disagree but heard the one another out and learned from it was one of Peyton’s favorites. School was a place where she could be just Peyton and be good at something all herself. It was one of the reasons she worked so hard to get into Midtown. May and Ben had always encouraged her education and it had meant the world to her that she could go to this school.

Peyton didn’t want to worry May if her grades started slipping. So she made sure to pay extra attention the rest of the week. She even raised her hand in English in order to make up for her previous blunder. It had taken all her willpower to move her hand upward and speak in front of the class. Her response lacked the eloquence the rest of her classmates’ had, but she had done it. The coolest thing was that nobody, besides Mrs. Roma, batted an eye. Ned didn’t break from taking a copious amount of notes, Liam was still asleep next to the window, and even Flash was trying to throw paper at the back of her head. She smiled at her small accomplishment.

Later, at the bottom of her bag she found a familiar looking piece of paper. The word “Congratulations” was scrawled across the bottom.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

For the rest of the week she came to the tower after school or when decathlon practice was done. Pushing her patrols to afterward. This was actually helpful because she got to expand her usual area. Once she was exactly three blocks out and one to the right of Stark Towers, she would go into this fairly clean alley and change into her suit. From there she would patrol that area for a bit before making her way home, continuing to be on the lookout. Either way it was worth it because of all the time she was spending with Mr. Stark. They had just put the final touches on her suit yesterday.

It had been amazing to test it knowing how much effort went into the design. The most obvious change was the sleeker design, which was everything that Peyton had dreamed of. Her top and bottom remained the tones of the original but they decided to make her sleeves red and had the blue of her pants come up past her waist. Mirroring her oblique muscles. Mr. Stark had been trying to convince her to go with his gold and red theme but she liked the idea of sticking with her own colors. She had designed the black spider adorning the front. It now had a larger, bulbous body with spindle like legs, stretching out across her chest. The protective eyewear, which contracted and expanded, helped her block out all unnecessary light and distractions. Allowing her to focus her senses on what she needed as opposed to being bombarded with unwanted disturbances.

One thing was bothering Peyton and that was when wearing the new suit an onlooker could tell that she was female. She was small for her age, but the suit was skintight. It wasn’t that big of a deal, Peyton tried telling herself. But there was still a knot in her stomach when she thought about it. What if nobody wanted her as a girl? What if they thought she couldn’t help anymore? The time she spent as Spidergirl had become so vital. Had become an integral part of her. She wasn’t sure she could accept it if people no longer looked to her. She could tell Mr. Stark but she didn’t know if they were even there yet in their relationship and he had enough going she didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily.

She wasn’t even aware of all the extra features embedded in it, Mr. Stark keeping some a secret. But she was surprised over how much freedom Mr. Stark gave her while they were working on it. He valued her input through the whole process and realized that most of the time she would know what she needed. He did add additions based on his experiences, for which she was grateful. Peyton had felt that much safer knowing Mr. Stark had worked on it. He had said there was one more thing that needed to be added but wouldn’t tell her what, no matter how hard she pleaded. She had even pulled out her sad, puppy face, the one that always got May to give in. That still hadn’t worked.

She ran into the building. The subway had been held up and as a result she was really late. Scanning her badge, she took a second to admire the Stark Industries logo and started rushing to the employee elevator. The doors opened and she hurried toward them but wasn’t paying attention and slammed into someone also trying to get into the elevator. Papers flew everywhere and her bag clattered to the floor.

With haste she bent down and started picking up the papers, her hands slightly shaking.

Without looking up she said, “I am so sorry ma’am. I wasn’t watching where I was going and I didn’t mean to run into you.”

A pair of sleek black pumps came into her view but still she wouldn’t look up.

“It’s alright. No harm done.” The pumps disappeared a knee came into Peyton’s view. The lady bent down to help her. Silently they picked the rest of the papers up. As they stood up Peyton continued examining the fancy heels, aware she was just being awkward now. They really were elegant shoes. She opened her mouth to apologize once more when a hand extended her ID badge back to her.

“Please, don’t worry about it Miss Parker.” Cautiously she took the badge back and went to pick up her bag. When she turned back the blonde lady was holding the elevator door open for her.

“Just Peyton, please. Thank you, Miss?” She trailed off uncertainly and the lady laughed.

She was smartly dressed in a light blue dress that perfectly matched her eyes. It had a scoop neck and was slim fitting down to just above her knees. Her blonde hair was gathered on top of her head in a tight bun, bangs resting on her forehead. Peyton imagined that she was someone who was used to getting the job done and looking good while doing it.

“Well, just Peyton, I’m Pepper Potts. But please, call me Pepper. What floor?”

After telling Miss Potts what floor to go to, Peyton was on the receiving end of a searching look. She knew who Pepper Potts was. Everyone knew, but that didn’t make it any easier to talk to her. What was she even supposed to say? You’re so many peoples, including my own, role model for running this huge company and being amazing? That would just sound stupid.

“I wasn’t aware that Tony had any interns.” Miss Potts said continuing to look at Peyton. Her face, she was sure, would never go back to a normal color.

“Oh, um. Yeah, it’s a new position. This is my first week here.”

“Hmm. Well then. Let me be one of many to wish you welcome here.”

“Thank you Miss Potts.” 

“Pepper,” she said with a smile.

The elevator’s opened and Miss Potts motioned for Peyton to go first. Peyton stepped off and into the room when she felt Miss Potts leave as well, gracefully walking toward Mr. Stark. His back was toward them as he, she assumed, was working on something.

Peyton cautiously glanced around the lab to see if her suit was lying about but there was no hint of red or blue to be seen. Mr. Stark had promised he wouldn’t tell anyone her secret, until she wanted.

The blonde woman walked forward and began exchanging pleasantries with Mr. Stark. It was entertaining to watch them banter back and forth. Miss Potts could hold her own against the famous Stark sass.

“Pepper. Don’t you look ravishing, as always.”

Miss Potts rolled her eyes and said, “Look who I ran into on the elevator. Quite literally, actually,” giving Peyton a wink.

Mr. Stark turned to see her standing there, awkwardly clutching her backpack. His face beamed when he saw her.

“Hey Kid. How’s it going? Ready to get working?”

Despite her embarrassment, Mr. Stark never failed to make her smile. She felt a warmth ignite in her when he asked her how her day was going. It was such a simple question but Peyton loved it. That question made her imagine that Mr. Stark cared about more than just this mission. It made her feel like he cared.

Peyton could see Miss Potts smiling at them talking. She had just told Mr. Stark about how Flash had tripped in the middle of the hallway, having his books spill all over the floor. She felt bad at laughing but it was pretty funny. Mr. Stark in turn told her about one of the first times Rhodey got into the War Machine suit and had tripped, twisting his feet together. It ignited his flight rockets so he crashed into the side of Stark towers.

“There’s still a Rhodey shaped dent there to this day. I left it because it brings character to the building, plus I can make fun of him for it.” Peyton laughed.

“It can’t be as bad as that one time where you, before you installed the filtration system, had to pee…” Miss Potts started before Mr. Stark interrupted her but it was too late to stop Peyton’s imagination from running wild.  

 “And that’s enough of that. Lovely to see you again Pepper. You should definitely wear that color blue again.”

“Yes, yes. Here are the papers you need to sign.”

“Of course, I will be sure to send them to Sloane.”

“Selena and please do.” She gave him a stern look and then turned toward Peyton.

“Don’t let him get you into trouble? It was nice meeting you Peyton.” She smiled and left toward the elevator, leaving just her and Mr. Stark in the room.

He came over and squeezed her shoulder, looking at the closed doors.

“What a woman, kid.”

Thank you :)

Chapter Nine

#spiderman #Iron Man #MCU fanfiction #spiderman fanfiction #irondad #irondad fanfiction #female peter parker #peter is female #peyton parker #eliza writes #someone to care

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