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#this burgeoning relationship with this daughter
fayes-fics · 1 year
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Mrs Bridgerton
Mrs Bridgerton Masterpost
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: Modern AU. Your ex-husband craves you in a way you had no idea about until one fateful call...
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Warnings: 18+ smut, minors dni, explicit language and thoughts, dirty talk, sexting, sex tape, masturbation, pregnancy kink, smidge of breeding kink. Mentions of marriage, divorce, pregnancy, custody, parenting, heartbreak, emotions. Bit angsty maybe? Not sure.
Word Count: 4.3k
Authors Note: This is an anon request fill from January here. (tldr summary: ex-husband Benedict can't stop thinking about you) Nonny, I changed up a couple of details of your ask; the porn he watches is your old sex tapes from when you were married. Also, he doesn't call once he was spent; he accidentally calls very much in the act ;) I hope that is okay. Guys, I have no idea what this is; sorry. Thanks to @colettebronte for checking I haven't completely lost it and @eleanor-bradstreet for the gif used above. <3
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“Mrs Bridgerton!.... Mrs Bridgerton!” A teacher calls out across the playing field as she jogs towards you. It takes you a few seconds to realise she is indeed addressing you. It's been a couple of years since you went by that name—almost a ghost from the past at this point.
“Ah, actually, it’s Ms y/l/n now,” you correct as she draws closer. “I’m, well, I’m divorced from Emilia’s dad,” you explain somewhat apologetically.
“Oh, I am so very sorry! I'm new here. I just asked her if her parents were here, and she pointed you out.”
“No, no, it’s okay. It's an entirely fair assumption to make,” you placate, shielding your eyes from the sun to catch Emilia's gaze and give her the thumbs up at the end of the grassy running track.
“Well, I just need one of you to sign this permission form for the trip to the Science Museum next week,” the teacher states, thrusting a clipboard towards you.
“Oh certainly, no problem,” you assure, taking the proffered pen and signing on the dotted line she indicates. You know how excited Emilia is about that upcoming trip, even though she insists on going to the museum with you or her father at least once every few months.
“Wonderful, thank you.”
You just nod as another teacher brings them all to the starting line with a blast from their whistle, and your focus shifts entirely to cheering on your five-year-old daughter in her first school race.
-----
He knows you haven't seen him, and he doubts even Emilia has clocked him, wearing a baseball cap pulled low as he is. He deliberately keeps a low profile when you arrive. He is here to see Emilia on her first sports day. Only that. Or so he keeps telling himself.
But then he sees you, and something in his stomach knots hard. It’s been more than two years, and still, every time, it floors him. A few months after your split, he took to using Eloise as the go-between for your shared custody arrangements and has never stopped. Since then, he has not seen you in person, too cowardly to face you. His biggest mistake was letting you go.
You met in your late twenties at a party hosted by mutual friends, and that night, he knew his life would never be the same. Something about the connection was instant and electric. He had the best sex of his life, right there in a spare room of a party. Both drunk and foolish, you didn't use protection. So it was only a few weeks into your burgeoning relationship when you found yourselves staring dumbfounded at a blue and white stick that would alter your lives forever. You married quietly two months later at the town hall, with just a few family members and close friends attending, neither of you wanting a big fuss. It was a big gamble in many ways, but you were both willing to try, crazily in love and filled with a youthful optimism that can be so blinding.
All was well until parenting a newborn drove you both to exhaustion and beyond. A wedge grew between you, even as your beautiful daughter developed into the best miniature version of both of you, with his beauty and your brains. You tried to make it work. But bickering about petty things and distancing became the only constant in your dynamic. Part of him had hoped Emilia would be enough glue to hold you together, but it was too much to pin on a small child. Just after her third birthday, he watched his world crumble as you tearfully packed up your possessions and took the light from his life with you.
And now. Now it's a regret that haunts him every day. Replaying the mistakes he made over and over, the ones that meant you slipped through his fingers. Too preoccupied with his career frustrations and plagued by chronic lack of sleep to realise the damage before it was irreparable. He knows now, too late, that with a little more effort and compromise, perhaps you would still be together as a family. He certainly never stopped loving and desiring you.
So when the teacher calls out Mrs Bridgerton, his heart almost stops beating and, to his shame, there is a stirring in his jeans. God, he wishes that was still your name, so much so there is a bitter taste in his mouth as he watches you correct the teacher in an endearingly accommodating way. A large part of him wants to leap up and grab you, lift you into his arms, beg that you use the name again. His name. But he doesn't; he just lingers in melancholic reverie, recalling with perfect clarity how it felt to push the white gold band shakily onto your left hand as you recited your vows.
Then with a sharp nearby whistle blow signifying the race start, his focus is pulled back to why he is here. His little wonder, the centre of his universe. Emilia Bridgerton. The most beautiful person on the planet. 
“Go, Emilia!!” he shouts, transfixed as his little girl moves out ahead of the pack, unthinking of anything but supporting his baby girl.
-----
Your head cuts to the side, and you freeze. You would recognise that voice anywhere. And how many Emilia’s can there be in the race?
He's not looking at you; his whole focus is on the field, but you can't seem to look away. Not even to watch your precious daughter. You haven't seen your ex-husband in more than two years. Using his sister as a go-between just seems like the best way to deal with your residual guilt about leaving him. But now? One look and your insides feel like you are falling down a chasm, lungs suddenly too small for the breaths you need to take.
Time seems to slow like molasses as you observe him. He’s wearing a baseball cap, almost akin to a disguise, but you can see underneath it that profile that still makes your heart flutter. Too much, really, considering you are exes. But his beauty was never the problem; it was part of the reason you always stayed. Those soulful eyes would draw you back every time. Those eyes that now haunt you daily, the Bridgerton genes far too strong not to override all of yours. Emilia is the prettiest little female version of your ex-husband you could ever imagine, and it's both your greatest joy and your greatest pain point, living with a growing reminder of the person who still owns your heart regardless of how much you might wish otherwise.
Looking back now, leaving him was an impetuous decision made from a place of utter exhaustion, not able to see a way out of the treadmill your lives had become at that time. But pride stopped you from admitting perhaps you made a mistake, serving divorce papers before you could think too hard about it. He didn't contest and agreed to all of your terms of custody without a fight. You didn't ask for spousal support; you earned more from employment anyway, most of his income coming from his trust. You never loved him for the Bridgerton name or fortune; in fact, sometimes, it felt like you loved him in spite of it. 
And now, one look at him, and you are breathless and in a complete emotional and, yes, physical quagmire. Your body yearning for him, your traitorous brain supplying image after tumbling image of intimacy, the likes of which you have never known before or since—warm bodies wrapped around each other in ecstasy, that velvet voice pleading with you to come with him, for him, always so eager. It makes your chest heave so hard you have to look away to regain composure, doing so just in time for the universe to seemingly return to normal speed, as you watch Emilia cross the line, victorious in her first-ever race. 
You cannot help it; you leap up and cheer too. And she looks over, beaming and jumping up and down. Running towards you and throwing herself into your arms as you kneel with a huge grin.
“Mummy mummy mummy!!” she peals excitedly, her breath gusting hard into your ear. “I did it! I won!”
“I know; well done!” you exclaim, rocking her happily in your arms. “You did wonderfully!!!”
“Did I see Daddy?” she asks, craning over your shoulder. You tense and swivel yourself to follow her eye line, but where he was standing just moments ago, there is now just an empty patch of grass.
“Oh, I don't think so, my love; it was probably someone else’s daddy who looks similar,” you suggest, the lie feeling odd on your tongue, It's obvious he doesn't want to be seen, and a part of you is grateful to avoid an awkward meeting. Emilia is still scanning the crowd, unconvinced by your assertion. “How about an ice cream from the van over there?” you offer cheerily, wanting to distract her from looking too hard for him.
“Okay!” she chimes happily, squirrelling a warm little hand into yours and pulling you towards the pedestrian gate. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you spy a navy blue Jaguar pulling out of the other gate and know without a doubt it was him.
-----
He couldn't do it. He thought he could, but he feels the weight of your stare and has to leave. The minute Emilia crosses the line, he gives a little victory punch and takes off. Not able to face you. So much of him wants to, but the gutless part of him apparently resides in his leg muscles. Before he knows it, he is in his car and pulling out onto the West London streets, not daring to look back. It's not his day to pick up Emilia; that's still two days away. He would not want you angry for overstepping the agreement you have in place.
As he pulls up at a traffic light, his phone pings a match on the dating app Anthony bullied him into downloading last week. The temptation to fling his phone right out the window is strong. The idea of being with someone else, especially after the tumult of seeing you today, just feels wrong. 
The only person he has slept with since your divorce was the second biggest mistake of his life. Someone he met at a bar celebrating Colin’s last birthday after too many whiskeys. A close enough facsimile to you that, through the haze of alcohol, he let himself be seduced. The lizard part of his brain somehow convinced it was you, even as she rode him in a way that chafed. Nothing like the way you moved, positively undulated, on his cock. Regret clung to his skin, the fug of hangover already kicking in as he watched her wordlessly re-dress and leave almost immediately, never exchanging numbers. He never saw her again. The fact he called your name as he came was probably the majority of the problem.
The only thing that stops him from flinging the phone is all the history it contains. Pictures of Emilia growing up from a tiny infant to now. But also his text exchanges with you, that increasingly he finds himself scrolling back through on self-indulgent nights, back to when things were good, and you would send each other little notes of love interspersed with sexting that; even now, he can barely read without getting hard. Unable to resist, as he waits for the light to go green, a dozen or more quick thumb flicks upwards on the thread for your previous number, and he finds some of his guilty pleasures.
8 March, 3:25 pm
Y/N: You had better plough me over the kitchen table when you get home xoxox
4 April, 5:02 pm
BB: Tough work day, need you, babe
Y/N: How’s this, daddy? 
Y/N: [photo of your naked glowing, slightly rounded pregnant body]
BB: Fucking helllllll, I am one lucky man
Y/N: Come home, fuck me, daddy
BB: You need to stop calling me that…
Y/N: Why? I am literally pregnant with your child.
BB: Yeah, and that’s why it's so wrong…
Y/N: Just get here, pls. I am so fucking wet….
He is pinch-zooming on the photo, head tilted, his tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth… when a car horn makes him jump, the phone slipping from his grip and falling onto his emergent hard-on. 
The traffic light has turned green. 
With an apologetic nod in the rearview mirror, he drives off, shaking his head, knowing it’s probably very wrong to be looking at pictures of you, his ex-wife, and wanting to fuck you so bad that his foot leans heavily on the accelerator. His blood pumping hard, already knowing he will be taking himself in hand the minute he gets to his place.
-----
Emilia is happily smushing the cone of her 99 ice cream in her little fist as you walk the few streets to your sister's place, where you left your car earlier. She has kindly agreed to let Emilia stay tonight and have a sleepover with her cousins. 
Later, you have your first date since your divorce, and you’ll probably need the rest of the late afternoon to psych yourself up enough to go. You've already cried off so many matchmaking attempts that you had to say yes eventually, just to stop the incessant badgering from all angles. Strangely, this one is Eloise’s doing, and you are still slightly weirded out that your ex-husband’s sister is engineering your first date in more than seven years.
Waving goodbye a few minutes later, you slip into your car and sit for a few deep calming inhales, trying not to think of how much Benedict stole your breath earlier. Some part of you thinks maybe you just imagined him there, a fevered mirage, your subconscious telling you to cancel this stupid date idea and stay home with your two best friends, Ben and Jerry. But then Ameila seemed to think he was there too, and honestly, it feels like you don't know what to do about anything anymore. 
-----
He wastes no time, flinging aside the cap, tossing his car keys onto the hallway table and sprinting upstairs to his bedroom, only pausing to insert his noise-cancelling earbuds and discard his clothing.
He is already leaking a little when he throws himself onto the bed and fists his cock with a groan. His other hand is hovering over the play button on the video he definitely knows he shouldn't be watching, hidden in a nondescript folder.
Your soft giggle tickles his eardrums as the video jolts to life. It's one he shot of you on his phone on your honeymoon—it’s one of his favourites lately.
“Bennnnn,” your voice a teasing murmur as the screen fills with a glimpse of your breasts, his hand trying to take a sweeping shot of your body as you writhe underneath him, both of you buried in a soft glow under a tent of sheets wrapped around your bodies.
His own younger self chuckles loud in his ears, behind the camera as he is, both of your breaths loud as the movement becomes more pronounced.
This is him fucking you and filming it. The camera pans down, and there, almost too tough to see in the grainy low light, is his cock surging into you; the shot is never still enough to see in full detail.
Somehow the lack of clarity makes it more of a turn-on. Benedict whines low as his hand moves in a firm motion, jerking hard, losing himself in reminiscence of what it is like to be buried inside you, your scent, younger you panting hard, pleading quietly for him.
His hand speeds up, and he gasps as the video grows more urgent, the noises so loud right in his ear. He can hear the delicious sound of your wet cunt around his shaft, and it's like a sense memory, that viscous heated cling he can never forget.  
“Ben, oh god Ben, you are so good, fuck me harder,” younger you moans loudly on the video, and both Benedicts, the old and new, couldn't resist that siren call.
“Y/n, oh god, give me your all, y/n,” Benedict growls, screwing his eyes shut, just relying on the auditory experience of the video now. 
But not realising with his slurred speech; it's just given his phone a command…
-----
You are driving towards your place when your hands-free car display lights up with the last name you expect.
Benedict.
Your stomach plunges. Just like earlier when you found yourself staring at him and reimagining so many things you know you shouldn't. You reach over and click the little green button to connect the call, heart in your mouth.
“Ben?” you say his name softly, almost timid. Worried about what it might mean after that strange non-encounter less than an hour ago.
The noise that greets you makes every hair stand on end. It's a throaty groan. He seems to hiss your name, and all you do is frown as your car speakers vibrate with the sound.
“Ben, are you okay?” you check.
“Oh god, I am more than okay, baby,” he growls, and every inch of your body is rioting. “Just please, please don't stop, fuck you feel so good. So tight and hot. I want to live inside you,” the words panted, desperate.
Your foot slips hard on the pedal, and you almost crash into a damn tree. 
-----
Your voice sounds different in his ear, and there is a background hum that wasn't there before, but he is so close to something so intoxicating he doesn't think to open his eyes and check the video.
“Talk to me,” he pleads low, knowing you on the video won't respond but somehow still wanting to talk to you regardless, “tell me how you feel.”
There is silence and then a slight shaky exhale. 
“Ben.”
“Yes, yes, yes, say my name,” he pleads, leaking over his own knuckle as his hand becomes a frenzy on his cock.
-----
You pull over, quaking. There is only one reason he uses that tone. That's his bedroom voice, and fuck if it doesn't make you as weak now as it did back then. You can only assume his phone has accidentally dialled you while he is what? Masturbating? You flush so hotly at the very thought, and yet you can’t school what you say next. Your treacherous libido taking command of your lips.
“Are you touching yourself for me, Ben?” you breathe, and your clothing suddenly feels too tight, too hot.
Your speakers vibrate your seat as he groans loud and lewdly, and it's a beeline straight for your clit, now throbbing insistently against your car seat.
“Yes baby,” he moans and now, in the background, you can hear it, a slight slapping sound, his cock passing through his fist. 
Your pussy clenches instinctually, and you feel a heavy pull, a depth charge of lust. Your lips tingle with the thought of kissing him, running your mouth over his body, wrapping around that cock you remember so well.
“I want you to come for me, Ben,” you plead, a hand straying down between your thighs, scarcely believing what is happening, what you are doing so brazen, parked up on the street mid-afternoon on a Wednesday.
“I will; oh god, I'm going to come so hard,” he snarls. “Do you want it inside you?”
Your fingers glance your clit over your yoga pants, and the heat is overwhelming. “Yes, Ben,” you pant, “inside me, give it to me, give me more of your beautiful babies.”
What you are saying is taboo. And so truthful you don't think to censor it. You would bear as many children as he wants to fuck into you. Still, even now.
“But you are already pregnant with my baby darling,” his voice taking on a softer edge, more wistful, “and you look so, so beautiful.”
You freeze.
“Benedict?” you say quietly.
“Yes, my love,” he purrs.
“Who do you think you are speaking to?” your ask is awkward, screwing your eyes shut, your hand moving away from the apex of your thighs. Suddenly mortified, perhaps it's not you that he thinks he is speaking to after all. Oh shit, did he get someone else pregnant? The panicked bile rises until he sighs the following words.
“Y/n, my wife, my life. God, I miss you so much. I know this must be a fever dream; I know we didn't talk like this in the video, but fuck if it doesn't sound so real,” he ends so wistfully.
“What video?” your question is slow, a weird weight on your chest that is your heart pounding out of control.
“Our honeymoon, darling,” he moans, and you can hear he is still masturbating, although slower-paced now. “When you let me video us fucking. I watch it so much these days that I'm surprised it's not worn out. And yet I can't not; every time I fuck my fist, it's to you.”
“You watch us? Every time you…?” your hand clutching your chest now.
“Yes, my love. I miss you so so much. I should never have let you go. You are my angel, the love of my life, the mother of my child and the only person I ever, ever want to fuck.”
The confession knocks your whole world off its axis. And you crave him. The feeling is so utterly all-consuming you struggle to take your next breath. You have to go to him. You have to see him. It's not even a choice not to. Every fibre of your being needs him.
“Ben,” you murmur, “don't come for me yet; I want to fuck you.”
“You do?” the hope in that gasp makes you lightheaded.
“Yes,” you breathe, “I miss your cock so much.”
You scramble to throw the car into gear and pull out into traffic. You are about a minute's drive away or less if he is home. Something in your movements so very urgent.
“Tell me what you are doing,” you whisper, trying your best to pitch the ask just the right level of seductive as you race down the road, turning into his street.
“I’m fucking my fist,” he moans, “but I wish it were you, my love.”
“I'm almost there,” you pant, pulling into his driveway with almost a squeal of tyres. You grab your phone and jump out of your car, crushing the handset to your ear as you run up to his front door and punch in a code, hoping it's still the one he uses. The crest of victory is palpable as the lock beeps and relents, the door popping open.
“Keep stroking yourself gently,” you order as you close the door and start to disrobe as you bound up the stairs.
“Y/n…” his voice is suddenly tremulant “this…. This isn't a dream, is it?”
“No, Ben, it's not,” you breathe, and you are down to your underwear as you skid into his bedroom, panting.
His eyes are wide with shock as you stride across the room, his cock still in hand and utterly naked; he looks just as delicious as the day you married him.
“Hello, Mr Bridgerton,” you purr.
“Y/n,” he stutters, and it's everything—surprise, desire, hope, relief, yearning and ardent.
“Call me Mrs Bridgerton,” you shoot back, and the responding noise he makes is so utterly feral you almost orgasm without so much as touching him.
-----
Eight months later
“Emilia, not there,” Benedict chuckles good-naturedly.
“Then where daddy?” her pout turns epic as she hands the offending item to him. “You do it!” she huffs.
“Okay, hold still,” he laughs and slides the small tiara into her hair. “See? Just perfect,” he opines, dropping a kiss onto her chestnut tresses.
“I look like a princess!” Emilia exclaims proudly, twisting to look into the mirror.
“Yes, you do,” Benedict concurs. “A pretty princess bridesmaid.”
“The prettiest,” you agree from the doorway, and both heads turn around and greet you with mouths that gape open.
“Oh, Mummy, you look like a real princess!” Emilia gasps, running towards you and giving you a quick hug before skipping out of the room gleefully as her grandmother Violet calls her name from downstairs.
“You look breathtaking,” his tone full of wonderment as he slowly gets to his feet, his eyes never leaving you. “But isn't it bad luck for me to see you like this?” he adds with a flash of concern.
You move towards him, and him towards you, drawn together. “I think we’ve had all the bad luck we are going to have,” you smirk, very much enjoying the sight of him in a sharp, custom-tailored suit. “At least I hope so, seeing as we have this thing to deal with,” you raise an eyebrow, pointing to your five-month bump.
“Thing? Darling, I thought we agreed; his name is Henry,” he sighs in mock indignation, his large hands skating around the swell of your belly, his lips warm on your temple.
“When did I agree to that name?” you frown amiably.
“Last night,” he responds silkily, right into your ear now.
“Oh no, you can’t possibly hold me to that,” you decry. “Anything said when inside me is null and void, Mr Bridgerton; you know I can barely remember my own name at that point.”
His rich chuckle vibrates against your whole body. “Well, let me remind you….”
“I’m listening,” you sigh, eyes closing as you sway into his hot neck kisses.
“It's Mrs Bridgerton,” he rumbles. “Or it will be again in about an hour.”
“I can't wait”, you whisper. “Say it again.”
“Mrs Bridgerton,” A dark, slow tease. 
You are almost late for your own (second) wedding just downstairs.
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Benedict taglist: @makaylan @foreverlonginguniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @margofiore @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @bridgertontess @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @angels17324 @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @benedictspaintbrush @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @lilithseve @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @truly-dionysus
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pedgito · 4 months
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Hi, this is a newly renovated masterlist to head into 2024 with! All of my old fics (eddie related) can be found here. My guidelines can be found here. This is all strictly Pedro-verse related fics and each fic linked will contain a short summary and word count. If you enjoy these fics, please consider a reblog, it's always appreciated! xo
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FOR THE WORK (10k+ words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: Using your neighbors address for deliveries doesn’t seem like the worst idea until you find yourself with a world of dilemmas and a burgeoning crush on the single dad who lives there. [Pre-Outbreak]
PATROLS (17k+ words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: A story of how things began, where they ended up, and where they might go. A collection of patrols over the course of several months is forcing you closer to Joel than you ever imagined, tense circumstances leading to hasty decisions and one bad choice after the next. [Set Post S1]
SOFT & SWEET (5k+ words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: Based around Work Song by Hozier. A comfort fic with lots of angst and fluffy goodness. Content Warnings: mentions of violence/blood/fighting (nothing graphic), joel being in a state of shock, sex for comfort/coping, no heavy sex warning it’s just v intimate, psuedo love confessions bc joel is bad with words
MEET ME IN THE WOODS (Finished Series) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: Taking a much needed vacation for the holiday, you aren't aware your cabin has been double-booked until you're face to face with the other guest the night you arrive, left with a big decision to make and the possibility of a month with a man you know nothing about. But, through communication and isolation, you learn that you and him might not be that different after all. Consumed by your shared loneliness, you find company in the unlikeliest of place—a stranger named Joel, in the middle of the woods. [No Outbreak] (6 chapters)
MET THE DEVIL LAST NIGHT (6k words) — (AU) Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
18+ Demon!Joel, Virgin!Reader, this was little plot lol.
THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR RIDING (3k words) — Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Joel doesn't like gifts, you gift him new boots.
HANDSOME, DIRTY, RICH (12k words) — BFD!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
The rich father of your bestfriend, Sarah — Joel Miller, was a mystery to you until one day he isn't and you quickly find that your interest in him isn't one-sided.
MILLER'S GIRL (Finished Series) — (AU) Professor!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Summary: A sudden infatuation with your professor yields strange, unnerving results and Joel Miller, in his first semester at a new job finds himself in an unlikely position with a student that hides their intentions behind innocence.
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UNDER YOUR SKIN (7.5k+ words) — Javier Pena x Fem!Reader
Summary: A new place, a new job, and new problems arise soon thereafter. Javier manages to weasel his way under your skin in more ways than one. The first—stealing your designated parking spot.
REQUEST (untitled) (2.6k+ words) — Javier Pena x Fem!Reader
Request was hurt/comfort, feelings freed after near death experience. Content Warnings:  mostly sfw, arguments over commitment/relationships, mention of violence (bombing), descriptions of minor injuries and emotional distress, just lots and lots of angst
IT'S A DATE (2.5k words) — Javier Pena x Fem!Reader
Your boyfriend delivers the worst news possible on what should be a day filled with love. Luckily your coworker is there in wait, not allowing a perfectly good dinner reservation to go to waste.
Ezra (Prospect)
untitled sex pollen fic (6.5k words)
Lucien Flores
BLESSING IN DISGUISE (5k words)
Summary: you’re his best-friend’s daughter and he’s at a party he can’t be bothered to care about, luckily you’re the one thing that catches his attention.
LAST UPDATED: 02.20.2024
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lgbtpopcult · 7 months
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October 2024 wlw entertainment rundown
TV
youtube
Lucky My Love, First episode drops October 28th on YouTube
youtube
Everything Now, Netflix, October 5
youtube
The Fall of the House of Usher, October 12, 2023
Movies
youtube
Tripped Up, October 20,
Books, Games, Music etc.
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In A World Of Our Own: Chasing Dreams And Love
Sophia Miller, an openly lesbian supermodel, enjoys her solitary life in the bustling heart of New York City. But when her gay millionaire best friend, Chris Anderson, requests her to play his pretend girlfriend for a family gathering in Texas, she can't refuse. After all, Chris is on the brink of becoming the CEO of the billion-dollar Anderson Corp.
Enter Alissa Anderson, the Oxford and Cambridge-educated, closeted lesbian daughter of the conservative and formidable Henry Anderson. With the CEO position at Anderson Corp now up for grabs, Alissa finds herself in a fierce rivalry with her own brother. Ascending to the top of the family business and shattering traditional gender roles has always been her ultimate dream. However, her well-laid plans begin to unravel when she encounters her brother's "girlfriend" at a pivotal family gathering on their Texas ranch.
When Sophia and Alissa's worlds collide at the Anderson estate, everything is on the line: the coveted CEO position, concealed sexual identities, a sham relationship, and a burgeoning real one that threatens to bloom amidst the chaos.
“Sushi for Empress Setsuko” is a cozy and comedic point & click adventure game and yuri dating sim set in a fantastical Japan-inspired land. Follow Mizumi Nagashima as she travels around the Empire, seeing gorgeous views, catching delicious fish, and charming beautiful women.
RELEASE DATE:
3 Oct, 2023
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Iris Kelly Doesn't Date
A fake relationship after a horrible one-night stand is anything but an act in this witty and heartfelt new romantic comedy by Ashley Herring Blake.
Everyone around Iris Kelly is in love. Her best friends are all coupled up, her siblings have partners that are perfect for them, and her parents are still blissfully married. And she’s happy for all of them, truly. Iris doesn’t want any of that—dating, love, romance. She’ll stick to her commitment-free hookups, thanks very much, except no one in her life will just let her be. Everyone wants to see her settled down, but she holds firmly to her no dating rule. There’s only one problem—Iris is a romance author facing an imminent deadline for her second book, and she’s completely out of ideas.
Perfectly happy to ignore her problems as per usual, Iris goes to a bar in Portland and meets a sexy stranger, Stefania, and a night of dancing and making out turns into the worst one-night stand Iris has had in her life. To get her mind off everything, Iris tries out for the lead role in a local play, a queer retelling of Much Ado About Nothing, but comes face-to-face with Stefania, whose real name turns out to be Stevie. Desperate to save face in front of her friends, Stevie asks Iris to play along as her girlfriend. Iris is shocked, but when she realizes the arrangement might provide her with some much-needed romantic content for her book, she agrees. As the two women play the part of a happy couple, lines start to blur, and they’re left wondering who will make the real first move....
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Moonlight in Garland is a cozy open-ended life-sim video game that sees you making a new life in the bustling metropolis of Garland. Find an apartment and make it perfectly yours, befriend your neighbours, grow your urban garden, solve community problems and experience all the weirdly wonderful stuff that city living offers.
Of course, city life isn’t all farmers markets and fancy coffee. Will you step in to stop the heritage building from being torn down and preserve a piece of history? Look after the neighbourhood so more residents stick around? Figure out which jerk is stealing packages from the mail room? Be swept up in a whirlwind romance along the way?
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magpizza · 4 months
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Mag's Sapphic Book Recs
Hey! @fairymascot sent a few of you my way who are looking for some sapphic book recs! I have compiled a list of 50 or so books, both Adult and YA, across the genres I read. These are just my personal favorites, and I encourage you to look further into any book that piques your interest!
For where I go for books, I go to my local library a lot and can't sing the praises of the Libby app enough for borrowing ebooks and audiobooks. I also always encourage those who can to get their books from independent bookstores or sites like bookshop.org.
ADULT
I wanna feel sad or stressed out! -Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead by Emily R. Austin - Gilda is anxious, depressed, and jobless, so she accepts a receptionist job at a catholic church and becomes obsessed with what happened to the woman who had the job before her. A book I felt really deeply as an anxious person myself. -All The Little Moments by G. Benson - Anna's career-focused world is turned upside down when her brother and sister-in-law pass away and she is left to take care of their two young children. This one is a real tearjerker and the romance with the woman Anna meets is very very sweet. I've read almost all of G. Benson's books and found them all to be absolute winners (Purposefully Accidental is excellent, also deals with grief though is more lighthearted and has some of the best dialogue I've ever read). -Landing by Emma Donohue - This is such a lovely, meaty book that explores the complexities of people, as well as the challenges a burgeoning relationship can go through. The MCs face distance, age difference, culture differences, different life goals, etc. The characters around them were also surprisingly deep and interesting. It had me on the edge of my seat as to how it would resolve. -I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself by Marisa Crane - this one is a bit sci fi, but I felt the sad outweighed the sci fi classification. A future world where you are marked by your crimes by being given an extra shadow, a woman has to navigate single motherhood with her daughter having been given an extra shadow from birth. It was somber, it was lovely, I felt so much weight in my heart. -Whisper of Solace by Milena McKay - If you like terrible women doing terrible things to each other in the name of their careers but also obsession and love, this one is for you! One of the most unique Ice Queen POVs I have read!
Okay, I'm sad enough, now I want a happy romance! -Wherever Is Your Heart by Anita Kelly - Even as a lover of romance myself, few books have made me swoon like this one. Two older butch women finding love much later in life and being realistic about their issues and problems, I just absolutely adored the grounded conversations they had. Also a very quick read! -Breaking Character by Lee Winter - This is one of the most enjoyable, fun, heartfelt romances. It's Hollywood, it's fake dating, it's age gap. Both characters go on such a lovely journey together. This is one I would highly encourage you to listen to the audiobook as Angela Dawe is amazing at doing all the character voices and accents. Additionally, there is not a single Lee Winter book I haven't liked, so highly recommend any of hers (The Awkward Truth is my second fave of hers, with a unique and younger ice queen). -The Carlisle Series by Roslyn Sinclair - You honestly can't have a sapphic romance list without this series. It's adapted and updated from Roslyn's Devil Wears Prada fanfic, but this is a story all its own and had me tearing up at the ending. I did the exercise of reading both the books and the fanfic which was very fun to compare! -Something's Different by Quinn Ivins - This is one of the sweetest books, I smiled all the way reading it. A woman has to step in to cover for her twin sister at her job while her sister goes off with her boyfriend, and she ends up falling for her sister's boss. It was a lovely book that also touched on mental health. I also love an academic setting, and it made statistics fun to learn about! -Bright Falls Series by Ashley Herring Blake - This 3 book series is so fun, just true romcom goodness. The characters are fun and interesting, they have complex relationships with each other, and I love how the author sets up these little ways the characters think is truth or reality, only to find how differently they perceived things.
Give me some scary ones! -The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling - cave spelunking in a tricked up space suit, being chased by ghosts, and not sure if you can trust the woman on the radio who's guiding you through it. Has just such a satisfying ending too. -The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean - a vampire-adjacent book, it's a world where these beings eat books, but then sometimes one amongst them instead eats minds. A woman, book eater herself, runs away from her family to protect her son who is a mind eater. I felt this one was gutwrenching at times, with characters making tough and sometimes bad decisions, and it kept a grip on me the whole way. -Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant - this one is more of an ensemble cast as it jumps around to several POVs, but the sapphic romance pair in it is great. It follows a crew aboard a ship to figure out what happened to a previous ship where everyone just disappeared. Every character has a rich internal life of why they're there, what are their goals, etc. -Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield - a woman's wife went on a deep sea expedition and returns not quite the same. The book jumps between the two women, what happened on that expedition and what her wife is having to deal with after she returns. I also enjoyed Julia's book of short stories, Salt Slow.
Wow, that was pretty scary. What about some fun science-y adventures? -The Space Between Worlds by Micaiah Johnson - a sci fi, multiverse traveling book. In the future, society can send people to alternate verses, mostly to steal resources, but you can only be sent if the other version of you is already dead in that world. The writing is fast-paced, really fun, and had some great quotes I even wrote down. It had so many little and big twists along the way, I gasped a lot. -The Founders Trilogy by Robert Jackson Bennett - kinda fantasy, kinda sci fi, kinda steam-punky, but a whole lotta fun! Fast-paced, it has one of the most interesting magic systems I've ever read. It's low on romance but the sapphic relationship that develops had my heart clenching by the last book. I read this series this year and already want to re-read it. -This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone - this book is a short but challenging read. It may not be for everyone. Treat it less like a novel and more like a riddle. It's feeding you bits and pieces as it goes and all will be revealed by the end. One of the most romantic books I've read.
Sure sure, but how about some escapism into fantasy now? -The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir - this one could've also gone in the horror or sci fi lists, what with the lesbian necromancers in space tagline. You've probably heard of it, it's dense, complicated at times, and will throw you for a loop when it quotes Linkin Park lyrics at you. Each book has such a different flavor too. A fun series to not only read but also reread! It requires a lot of attention, and I'm not too proud to admit I had to look up several word meanings as I read. The only series I have multiple versions of because I couldn't resist the special editions. -The Burning Kingdoms series by Tasha Suri - love me some fantasy set in a world inspired by the history and epics of India, some morally gray characters, complicated motivations, some betrayal of the ones you love most. This series is so lovely and such a fun and heartwrenching ride and I can't wait for the next book. -Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree - It's cozy, it's sweet, it just made me smile all the way through. The sequel I found just as lovely as well.
Enough with the other worlds! Got anything historical? -The Mercies by Kiran Millwood Hargrave - this one could also go on the sad list. It's poetic, lovely. A town of only women since their men all were lost in a storm and how the women manage to move on, deal with their grief, and face a dude who comes in later to try to "set their society right" or whatever. Throw that dude into the sea too. -Fingersmith by Sarah Waters - an absolute rollercoaster of a book. It's a long, great read with deception upon deception upon twists. I also highly recommend the BBC miniseries it was adapted into! -The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite - this one really surprised me. It's honestly really sweet. Two women come together to translate a French astronomy text and fall in love in the process.
Got anything with pictures? -Luisa Now and Then by Carole Maurel - drama, a woman in her 30s encounters her much younger self and they have to come to terms with who they thought they were and what they thought their life would be like. -A Guest in the House by Emily Carroll - heavy on the horror, not really a romance, but it is gorgeous, atmospheric, and didn't go where I thought it was going. -How Do We Relationship by Tamifull - drama, slice of life, one of my favorite series, it goes through some really complex character relationships and interactions. The main couple starts dating pretty quickly, and it only gets more complicated from there. -She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat by Sakaomi Yuzaki - slice of life. This one starts out simply enough, with two women who connect over food. Their relationship blooms slowly from there, and the latest volume introduced some additional characters that expand the discussion on how different our relationship to food and eating can be.
YOUNG ADULT
That was a lot. I'm ready to be sad again. -We Are Okay by Nina LaCour - a girl leaves everyone behind to go to college, and won't talk to them about why or what happened that changed her in those few weeks before she left. Her best friend comes to visit her and what follows is a slow, anguishing tale of grief, regret, and love. Honestly, for a sad time, you can always depend on Nina LaCour. -Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick - this one might not work for everyone if you don't like an amnesia story. It had so much longing, loss, confusion, and a romance strong enough to attempt to get through it. -6 Times We Almost Kissed (and One Time We Did) by Tess Sharpe - Don't let the meme-rific title fool you, this book wrung out my heart. The characters are rich, deep, conflicted, and complicated. Deals with grief, with lost opportunities, with complicated friendships and complicated love. -If Tomorrow Doesn't Come by Jen St. Jude - what happens if you were already suicidal, but then the world is going to end soon anyway? This book deals heavily with depression and the end of the world, in many different meanings. -Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo - this one broke my heart a few times. Two girls who don't know they are related lose their father in a plane crash, and it only gets sadder and more complicated from there as both their words begin to connect.
Wow, all this sadness has made me angry! -Harley Quinn: Reckoning by Rachael Allen - gotta love a female rage revenge book. This book is a really engrossing read, it weaves a lovely mystery, and has one of my all time favorite twists and love interest characters of any book.
I've angered myself out, can we have some happy romance? -She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick - a lovely lovely contemporary romance story. Nothing surprising, just all the good stuff. Also writen by a wife team! -How to Excavate a Heart by Jake Maia Arlow - a very sweet holiday romance that starts when one of the MCs almost runs over her love interest. -Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School by Sonora Reyes - with the topics this one deals with, it could've very easily made the sad list as well. The overall uplifting ending is what kept it more in the happy list for me.
Okay, okay, I'm ready to be scared again! -These Fleeting Shadows by Kate Alice Marshall - this one has it all, creepy house, family trauma, falling for the weird girl in the woods. It all built up to a really great twist too. I recommend the audiobook, it had great production and acting, and even legit scared me and I couldn't listen to it at night.
I like horror, but got anything a little more sci fi? -The Meadows by Stephanie Oaks - along the same lines of A Handmaid's Tale, a dystopian future where the government has a lot to say about what your role is in society and what you are supposed to do/be. At times a little slow, but at all times really heartwrenching.
Anything related to history? -A Million to One by Adiba Jaigirdar - four girls band together to execute a jewel heist on the titanic! Which sounds very exciting and it is! I also bawled at the end. Honestly I will read any and all Adiba Jaigirda books too.
Okay let's get into that fantastical escapism! -Fractured Fables series by Alix E. Harrow - based on fairytales, these two novelas are very quick reads, very engaging and I especially loved the romance that developed in the second one! -We Set the Dark on Fire series by Tehlor Kay Mejia - Handmaids Tale adjacent as well and the backdrop is Latiné inspired. A really great read, both books had be gripped by the chest. Good twists too! -The Winter Duke by Claire Eliza Bartlett - inspired by sleeping beauty, the prince set to inherit the throne falls asleep and his younger sister has to figure out how the hell she keeps it all together until he (hopefully) wakes up. -Cinderella Is Dead by Kalynn Bayron - a society built after the very real Cinderella story, where all ladies of age go to the ball to be selected as brides, and then the story of a girl trying to fight against all that. -Forgotten Gods series by Marie Rutkoski - A girl who lives on the poor side of town meets a rich girl who seems ready to take her on adventures. I really enjoyed the main character's journey and how she changed oh so very drastically throughout the story. -Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst - I've recced this to friends who did not like it as much as I did but I'm still putting it on this list. Maybe it's just this book has all the things I like and that's fine. A princess betrothed to a prince is hiding her magical abilities and ends up falling for her fiance's sister, oops. -Sofi and the Bone Song by Adrienne Tooley - what drew me to this story was the quiet mystery it weaves. Sofi wants to take her father's place as a Musik (the few musicians in the country allowed to compose music) but then an unexpected, untrained lute player shows up and just absolutely outplays her. Sofi is determined to prove this new girl cheated with magic. Adrienne Tooley overall is an author I always enjoy. -Nampeshiweisit series by Moniquill Blackgoose - only the first book is out so far (To Shape a Dragon's Breath) but boy am I invested! A young girl finds the first dragon egg to appear in her remote island in 15 years, but the colonists of her land have strong opinions of who is allowed to have a dragon, how they need to be trained, and what they should do with dragons.
Phew that was a lot of words. Got anything with pictures again? -Thieves by Lucie Bryon - a really sweet and surprisingly deep story about two girls who steal shit. -Belle of the Ball by Mari Costa - a high school love triangle that worked in all the right ways. I loved the art, and as someone with vision deterioration, one of the easiest reads I've had recently! -Twelfth Grade Night by Molly Horton Booth - the original Shakespeare play Twelfth Night was formative for my lesbian realization, and this cute adaptation was so well done and modernized the story in a really fun and fantastical way. -The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz - continues the running theme of girl pretending to be a boy falls for girl, oops. Has a historical and modern twist to it all, very fun and loved the expressions. Do Not skip the author's notes at the end where she talks about what inspired the story, it was a highlight as well! -Squad by Maggie Tokuda-Hall - Mean Girls meets werewolves -Cosmoknights series by Hannah Templer - princesses, space travel, giant robot fights, this has got it all and some very lovely art to boot! -Honor Girl: A Graphic Memoir by Maggie Thrash - one of those comics that perfectly captures what it feels like to be a young girl falling in love with another girl for the first time. It's a little bit emotionally devastating at times in how expertly it expresses and pinpoints those specific feelings.
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The Queen & her Lady ch. 4
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Summary: With everything finally out in the open the Princess and the Queen must face new and old challenges together. Is their burgeoning romance strong enough to weather the storm that approaches?
A/n: I really want to thank everyone for being so patient. I do hope for weekly releases but I can’t spend all day writing (as much as I would like to) and unfortunately, I am not immune to writer’s block. I appreciate all the kind words everyone has sent my way. I hope to have chapters 5 and 6 out sooner. My goal is to have the series done by the end of the year. So please stay tuned. Please enjoy and let me know what you think!
A/n pt. 2: @fuckinglittlekitten​ @swords-and-roses​ @watercolorskyy​ @chonisbestmistake​ @freshmoneyalmondathlete​ @bass6c​
The days that followed the pair’s confessions and subsequent kiss were stressful but hopeful.
Alicent could no longer deny her true feelings. She could no longer deny she cared deeply for Princess (y/n).
More importantly, Alicent didn’t want to deny it. She had spent so many years being unhappy, numbing herself to displeasure. Sadness and isolation her only companions.
So did she not deserve some measure of happiness? Was happiness not owed to her?
But still, Alicent struggled with allowing herself to be happy.
Thankfully, she had (y/n). Whenever Alicent wanted to cower and return to her miserable loneliness (y/n) stepped in and banished whatever fear dared threaten their budding love.
(y/n) was fearless. She was confident and unabashed. She loved the Queen, and now that she knew the Queen felt the same nothing would get in (y/n)’s way, not even the Queen herself. (y/n) was determined to love Alicent Hightower.
And it was the Princess’ love that strengthened Alicent’s resolve. It was (y/n)’s love for her that made Alicent choose happiness even when the voices in her head (that sounded eerily like her father) begged her to repent and punish herself.
-
A week later things had changed for the better.
Noble and servant alike swore they had never seen the Queen so happy. She smiled and spoke sweetly to all. To the King, she bore kisses and her unrelenting attentiveness. Even her father, the hand of the King, had never seen his daughter in such a state of rapture.
The Queen attended to her duties as she always had but every spare moment was spent in the Princess’ company. The Princess herself was rarely ever seen not at the Queen’s side.
A lightness flooded the Keep that had not been felt since Queen Aemma’s passing.
-
Alicent, ever the shrewd politician, monitored the gossip in court and took note of any rumor that dared examine her companionship with (y/n) too closely. Thankfully, most seemed to view her relationship with the Princess simply as friendship.
Unfortunately, one of the few who didn’t see it that way was her father.
But she would not let his scowls and disappointed looks sway her.
She had a true and steadfast lover in Princess (y/n). Years of solitude had jaded Alicent to the idea of love. All she knew was sacrifice. Any love she had was reserved for her children.
And then came Princess (y/n).
Princess (y/n) had changed everything. She had reminded Alicent why girls dreamt of love. Alicent felt as if she had awoken from a long, and awful slumber.
She felt whole again.
So what did it matter that her father looked at her with such disdain?
Alicent had not abandoned any of her duties. She attended to her husband as she always had. There for him in his hours of need, when the pain was too much for him to bear. She never missed a small council meeting, and never failed in her duty to the realm.
So why should she deny herself the pleasure of the Princess’ company? Why deny herself the euphoria of (y/n)’s kiss in the privacy of her chambers?
As long as she was the Queen and Viserys the king, her father’s disappointed looks mattered not. As long as she did not have to confront him she could bear his disapproval.
-
(y/n) sighed as the sun began to set in the Godswood. 
The sun in King’s Landing did nothing to soothe the chill inside her. Even when she was wrapped in furs at night (y/n) felt a biting cold deep inside her.
The Queen laced their fingers together. “What troubles you now, my love?”
(y/n) and the Queen sat underneath the weirwood tree, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. (y/n) lifted her head from where it rest on the Queen’s shoulder.
“I have been here for many months now, and yet my body still craves the heat of the desert sun in Dorne. The Keep is too frigid,” (y/n) explained as she angled her face toward the last rays of the sun that peeked through the walls of the Keep.
The Queen turned to (y/n) with a soft smile on her face. “Were I an archer I would pierce the sun with my arrow and place it upon your mantle so that you would never again feel cold.”
(y/n)’s face flushed. “Your grace,” she chided.
The Queen laughed. “Ser Criston is standing guard in the hall. We are alone here (y/n), and I wish to tell you all the ways in which you have enchanted my heart.”
(y/n) met the Queen’s gaze. “As you have captured mine, your grace.”
“Call me Alicent, my love. When in each other’s company only call me by my name.” The Queen beamed as she spoke.
The Princess’ eyebrows raised. “Are you sure?”
The Queen nodded then brought (y/n)’s hand to her lips. She placed a delicate kiss on (y/n)’s knuckles before returning her gaze to (y/n).
“I want to hear you say it, love.”
(y/n) licked her lips. It was different than when Aemond asked them to forgo their titles. The Princess knew this would change everything between them.
“Alicent,” (y/n) said slowly, savoring each syllable.
The Queen’s gaze brought a heat to (y/n)’s core. Gone was the frosty chill. Now, a growing fire kindled inside.
“Say it again,” the Queen commanded, her eyes darkening.
“Alicent,” (y/n) repeated, eager to submit to her lover’s instruction.
The Queen bit her lip.
(y/n) wished she could read the Queen’s mind. She wanted to know if the Queen felt as hot as she did.
“Agai-”
The Queen stopped at the sound of clinking armor growing nearer.
Both women turned to the edge of the clearing where Ser Criston appeared.
He bowed his head.
“Sorry to interrupt your grace, but I was informed the small council has called for an urgent meeting.”
The Queen sighed. “Thank you Ser Criston.” Then she turned to (y/n). “Forgive me Princess.”
“No need for apologies, your grace,” she said and stood.
Then (y/n) turned to offer her hand to the Queen. The Queen took it and (y/n) helped her stand. 
(y/n) gave the Queen’s hand a squeeze.
“I shall wait for you in the library.”
The Queen smiled affectionately. “I will see you there.”
With that the Queen left the Godswood with Ser Criston in tow. (y/n) watched as the Queen walked away, the fire inside her still burning.
-
Alicent abhorred small council meetings. Under normal circumstances, she did her duty without objection. Since her companionship with (y/n) began in earnest Alicent found the meetings to be even more dreary and never ending.
“What are you thoughts your grace,” Lord Tyland Lannister called out.
Alicent startled. She turned to Lord Tyland with a blank look on her face.
In truth she had not heard what they were saying. She was too busy thinking of the way her name sounded coming from (y/n)’s lips.
Otto cleared his throat. “Let us get to the matter that gives us cause to assemble. Lord Corlys is requesting more aid be sent to him in his resurgent battle with the Triarchy.”
“Did we not already send Lord Corlys coffers of gold and ships filled with young men,” Lord Jasper Wylde questioned.
Lord Tyland nodded. “We did, though it seems Lord Corlys does not see it sufficient.”
“I trust that Lord Corlys will prevail against the Triarchy once more. Let us send him the aid he requested,” Alicent stated.
Otto studied his daughter’s face. “What reason have you for such a rushed decision, your grace?”
Alicent did not meet her father’s gaze. “We almost failed to secure the stepstones once due to our unwillingness to support Lord Corlys early in the war. Once they had been won the crown did nothing to maintain it as a stronghold. We shall not make such a mistake twice.”
Lord Beesbury nodded. “I agree with her grace.”
“I have heard rumor that House Martell has sent aid to the Triarchy,��� Otto declared, his gaze still firmly on his daughter.
Alicent furrowed her brow but again did not meet her father’s gaze. “Prince Qoren would not do something so foolish while his daughter is in our care.”
The rest of the council agreed.
“Hmm,” Otto said as he leaned back in his seat.
Alicent cleared her throat and finally looked towards her father. “If that is all for today, please excuse me my lords.”
Otto’s face soured and he looked away from Alicent. “Yes I’m sure the Dornish Princess is expecting you.”
The Lords of the small council exchanged uneasy glances.
Alicent’s stomach twisted into a knot. Underneath the table, she dug her fingernails deep into the palms of her hands.
“The Princess’ abilities as a lady of good breeding leave much to be desired of. She needs extensive tutelage if she hopes to be wed someday,” Alicent replied, doing her best to keep her voice steady and even.
Otto met Alicent’s gaze and smirked. “And wed soon she will be.”
Alicent swallowed hard. (y/n)’s betrothal was not something she let her mind linger on.
Then she stood from the table and excused herself once more. She walked towards the door, calmly and without giving anything away.
Once outside the room, Alicent took a deep breath to steady herself. Her father knew the truth. It was something she feared but did not know for certain. Alicent was sure he would ruin everything, somehow.
-
The Gods would give Alicent’s fears the certainty they craved for. Before she had made it down the corridor her father called out to her.
Alicent turned and waited for him to reach her.
“We need to talk,” he stated.
Alicent nodded, dread and unease taking hold of her. “Yes father.”
Otto led Alicent into a nearby room. Neither spoke as they stood in the barely lit chamber. Otto sighed.
“I had hoped it would not come to this. I hoped your good sense would prevail over whatever sorcery that Dornish girl cast over you.”
“I do not know what you mean, father,” Alicent replied and looked away from her father.
The urge to pick at her nailbeds started to prick at her fingers.
“You know exactly what I speak of.” Otto frowned. “First you inform everyone that the Princess is to return to Dorne then suddenly she has changed her mind? Now the both of you walk the Keep’s halls hand in hand without regard for who might see.”
Alicent looked at the ground. She hated the way her father could make her feel like a small girl with just his words.
 “Father I-”
“You are not a girl anymore Alicent. You are the Queen. Parading that girl around the Keep as though you two are..,” Otto said with an exasperated sigh but he did not continue. He crossed the room and brought his hands to his temples.
Alicent looked up, a sudden fury brewing inside her. “As though we are what, father?”
Otto met his daughter’s gaze. “You know exactly what.”
“I do not,” Alicent replied.
She would not let her father speak of the Princess in that way, not in front of her. Not when (y/n) had been nothing but loyal and devoted. Alicent balled her fists and continued.
“That girl, as you call her, is a Princess of Dorne. She is to be wed to Aemond. She is to be family. I will not have you speak of her in such a manner.”
Otto searched his daughter’s face for signs of the dutiful girl he once knew. He shook his head.
“I only say this with concern for you. Our hardest days are yet to come and I do not wish for us to be divided. Our hearts must remain as one, as they have been.”
Alicent stepped closer to her father. “My heart rests with what is best for the realm.”
Otto scoffed but said nothing more.
“Princess (y/n)’s marriage to Aemond ensures peace with Dorne and prosperity for the realm. I will not have you sully her name with such accusations,” Alicent spat.
“There are eyes and ears throughout the Keep. If you insist on that sordid companionship I beg that you confine it to your chambers.” Otto replied, his voice lowering to a whisper.
Alicent’s face went hot. She swallowed hard before she cleared her throat and looked away from her father.
“I appreciate your concern, father, but as you have said I am no longer a girl. I understand all that I do.” Alicent turned towards the door. “If that is all the Princess is expecting me.”
Otto turned away and shook his head.
Alicent left the room and hurried to her apartments instead of the library.
Once alone, Alicent downed a goblet of wine. She filled her cup once more and once again downed the wine. She would not let her father interfere. She was happy. She was happy with the princess. She would preserve her happiness for once.
But the more Alicent tried to convince herself the less she believed in the conviction of her words.
-
The days following her conversation with her father were a lot less joyous.
Alicent could not get her father’s words out of her mind. And they unfortunately, plagued her whenever she was with (y/n). As as result their companionship had become strained.
The pair sat across from one another eating dinner together as they had done many times before. Except this time they barely spoke.
It ate (y/n) up inside. Something had changed and she could not fix it because she did not know what had caused it. Still, (y/n) would not give up.
“The ladies of court wonder why you have not called for a needlework gathering in quite some time,” (y/n) said, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence.
Alicent furrowed her brow. “You were speaking to the ladies of court?”
(y/n) nodded. “Lady Merryweather is actually quite sweet when Lady Ambrose is not around.”
“Oh,” Alicent replied and took a drink from her goblet.
Alicent was unsure how to feel. On the one hand she was excited that the ladies were finally warming up to (y/n), but on the other Alicent feared the ladies were plotting something and luring (y/n) in.
“Lady Merryweather invited me over for tea. It was nice,” (y/n) said with a soft smile.
Suddenly Alicent did not have the heart to tell (y/n) of her thoughts. So she simply smiled.
Silence descended over them once more.
(y/n) did not like it. She had been so happy by Alicent’s side. She needed to know what caused Alicent to fold in on herself.
(y/n) stopping picking at her plate of food and cleared her throat. “Alicent.”
Alicent met (y/n)’s gaze. “Yes Princess?”
The word hit (y/n)’s chest like a rock. It only strengthened (y/n)’s fears that Alicent was pulling away from her.
(y/n) swallowed hard before she continued.
“I know that as the Queen you have many important duties, and as such we can’t always spend as much time with one another as we would like to but recently I have noticed that uhm...well I...,”(y/n) stopped herself, suddenly unsure of how Alicent would react.
“(y/n) speak plainly,” Alicent urged. Alicent did her best to ignore the nerves in her stomach. Something troubled (y/n), and Alicent knew exactly what it was. She did not wish to have such a conversation but it seemed inevitable.
The Princess took a deep breath. Then she met Alicent’s gaze and spat out her words before she hesitated again.
“I hate that something has come between us. You will deny it but I feel it.”
Alicent sighed and set her fork down. “I will not deny it. I hold you in too high esteem to lie to you.”
A small part of Alicent wished she had lied. It would have avoided the difficult conversation that followed. 
“Have I done something wrong? Did I upset you?” (y/n) reached across the table for Alicent’s hand but Alicent pulled it away. (y/n) frowned. “Was there another rumor about Aemond and I? I do not know why there would be I hardly see him anymore. I-”
“Princess,” Alicent began, hoping to quell some of (y/n)’s hurt.
“Do not call me that,” (y/n) cried. She shot up from her seat. “You cannot imagine how much it hurts to hear you call me that when we are in the privacy of your chambers.”
Alicent softened.
“I’m sorry I did not think- ,” the words caught in Alicent’s throat.She looked away from (y/n), embarrassed she was so careless with her words.
Alicent could not blame all her actions on her father. She had to take some measure of responsibility. She owed (y/n) that much. Alicent took a large drink from her goblet of wine.
(y/n) slowly sat back down. “I apologize, I just hate how distant you are.”
Alicent returned her gaze to (y/n). She reached out for (y/n)’s hand. She would fix things.
(y/n) let Alicent lace their fingers together. She has missed Alicent’s touch more than anything.
“You don’t have to apologize. You have not done anything wrong. There aren’t any rumors of you and Aemond. It’s rumors of you and I that worry me,” Alicent confessed.
“You and I?” (y/n) knit her brows together.
Alicent nodded. “We haven’t exactly been discreet.”
(y/n) looked down at their intertwined hands. “I’m sorry.”
“You have done nothing wrong. Please stop apologizing.”
Alicent squeezed (y/n)’s hand.
(y/n) let go of Alicent’s hand and stood up. “I just don’t know what else to say.”
The Princess walked to the other side of the room and started to pace about.
“I’m scared that the only way to fix things is to be apart from you and now that I know what it is to love you so openly I cannot go back to quiet longing.”
Alicent stood from her seat and walked to (y/n)’s side. She wrapped her arms around the Princess and placed a gentle kiss to the side of (y/n)’s head.
“My darling girl, you are too good to me.”
(y/n) buried her face in Alicent’s shoulder.
“Some days I fear that is not enough for you to choose me,” she murmured.
Guilt flooded inside Alicent. This was not what she wanted. This was not what she wanted (y/n) to feel. Tears pricked at the corners of Alicent’s eyes. She blinked them away.
Crying would do her no good. She had to keep her wits about herself if she was to fix things.
“I promise I will not be so distant. We will have to be more careful but I will never stop loving you.”
(y/n) pulled away slightly. She met Alicent’s gaze.
“I will do whatever it takes to stay by your side.”
Alicent smiled softly at (y/n)’s sweet vow.
“I know you will,” Alicent breathed.
(y/n) placed a tentative kiss on Alicent’s lips. Alicent cupped one of (y/n)’s cheeks and pressed a firmer kiss against them. (y/n) pulled Alicent closer then deepened their kiss.
Outside the walls of Alicent’s apartments, they would have to be Queen and lady in waiting but inside Alicent’s rooms they were equals. They were lovers.
-
A month of carefully planned meetings in the library and sept, of traversing secret corridors in the hour of the bat just to watch the other sleep, and of chaste touches as they passed one another in the halls, (y/n) and her Queen had finally fallen into a routine that worked for them.
The Queen joined the Princess in the library every other day. In the privacy of the library (y/n) and Alicent could be themselves.
The only other person who liked being in the Keep’s library was Aemond, and he had been too preoccupied with Ser Criston in the training yard to bother the pair of lovers.
So (y/n) lay in Alicent’s arms on the chaise lounge that sat beneath the library’s high window without a care in the world.
Alicent braided the Princess’ hair while the Princess read to Alicent.
(y/n) loved the feeling of Alicent’s fingers in her hair. She often had to exert all her will to not let her mind wander to carnal images when she felt Alicent’s fingernails rake over her scalp.
But this time she could not stop the small moan that escaped her lips.
It brought a smile to Alicent’s face.
(y/n)’s face flushed. She sat up and turned to face Alicent.
“I’m sorry I do not know what overcame me.”
Alicent cupped (y/n)’s face. “I liked it.”
(y/n) noted how dark Alicent’s eyes had become.
They had been together for several weeks but never gone further than passionate kisses. (y/n) did not want to push Alicent father than Alicent was comfortable and Alicent did not voice her desires so easily. So the pair often left each other’s company wanting.
A knock on the door pulled them further apart. (y/n) stood and crossed the room to the bookshelf opposite them.
“Come in,” Alicent called out.
Talya entered and faced the Queen. She curtsied.
“Your grace, this just arrived on a raven from Dorne for the Princess.”
Then Talya handed a small scroll to (y/n).
“Thank you Talya,” (y/n) responded.
“You may go now,” Alicent added.
Talya nodded and left the library.
“Does you father write to you often?” Alicent asked as she stood and approached (y/n).
“Almost every day. Whenever my father would leave Sunspear on business he would write to me often and I promised I would do the same now that I was the one away.”
(y/n) unfurled the scroll and started to read. Alicent stood nearby (y/n) and waited for the Princess to tell her the content of the letter.
Alicent watched as the Princess’ bright smile disappeared.
First, a frown replaced it then (y/n) furrowed her brows.
“Is everything alright at Sunspear,” Alicent asked as the Princess’ expression started to concern her.
The Princess crumpled the letter in her hands and looked up to meet Alicent’s gaze.
“You lied to me,” (y/n) accused. 
Tears pooled in (y/n)’s eyes, but she would not shed them. Alicent had lied to her face. Everything had been a mummer’s farce, with (y/n) as the fool.
Alicent’s brows knit together. “What? Lie to you? I don’t understand.”
Alicent did her best not to let her rising anxiety overtake her. She did not like the look of anger on (y/n)’s features. It worried her.
(y/n) balled her fists. “My father wrote that I am betrothed to Aemond. That you knew, and conspired with the King and my father. You were all worried I would not come willingly if I knew of the betrothal.”
Alicent reached out to hold (y/n)’s hand but the Princess stepped away from Alicent. Alicent’s heart sank.
“Please, let me explain,” Alicent pleaded, anxiety now overwhelming her.
“What else is there to say? You lied to me. Every day since I arrived you looked at me and lied to me.” (y/n) looked away from Alicent.
“I wanted to tell you my love,” Alicent babbled, terrified that she would lose (y/n) if she did not explain herself.
“Don’t! Don’t call me that,” (y/n) shouted, her eyes alight with rage.
Alicent recoiled. She had never seen (y/n) so upset. She had not seen this side of the Princess.
“Do not ever call me that again.” (y/n) proclaimed. Her resolve withered and the tears she had held back started to stream down the sides of her face.
Alicent felt a river of her own tears staining her cheeks. “Don’t say such things (y/n). Please allow me to explain.”
(y/n) shook her head. “No I...I can’t look at you anymore.”
Then (y/n) marched out of the library without turning back. Alicent called out for her but (y/n) did not stop.
She did not want to go back to her chambers. She knew Alicent would look for her there. She did not want to be around anyone.
-
(y/n) watched as Vhagar ate the sheep she had brought her. (y/n) sat a safe distance away from the she-dragon.
To her surprise, the dragon did not attempt to scare her off. It stirred when (y/n) approached, and grumbled when it noticed the sheep, but it did not roar at (y/n). Vhagar didn’t seem to mind her presence so long as (y/n) kept her distance.
The Princess was not sure how to feel. Everything had been a fabrication of her father and the King’s making. She was betrothed and would be forced to marry. She would be confined to the Red Keep the rest of her life. She wanted to cry but no tears would form.
“I’ve decided that you are the most foolish woman I have ever known,” came a familiar and once welcomed voice behind her.
(y/n) did not turn to face her friend, and now betrothed.
“I came here to be alone,” she replied.
Aemond sat down next to her.
“Well that is my dragon so..” Aemond smiled but quickly realized the Princess was in no mood for it.
Aemond cleared his throat.
“I know that we have not been as close as we once were but I hope that the thought of marrying me isn’t too distressing.”
(y/n) turned to him, a frown on her face. “You knew?”
Aemond looked away from (y/n).
“Not at first. My mother only revealed the truth when I....,” Aemond trailed off.
(y/n) furrowed her brow. “When what?”
Aemond blushed. “It feels foolish to admit.”
“Aemond, if we are to be wed I only ask that you do not withhold anything from me. I cannot bear more lies,” (y/n) confessed.
“You’re right,” Aemond declared. He met (y/n)’s gaze once more. “I asked my mother permission to petition your father for your hand in marriage.”
Now it was (y/n) who blushed and looked away.
“You wanted to marry me?”
Aemond let out a small laugh. “Of course? What man wouldn’t want to marry someone like you? You’re perfect.”
“I’m far from it,” (y/n) mumbled.
“If you wish it, I could try to speak with my father and see if there is a way to end our betrothal.”
(y/n) met Aemond’s gaze. She shook her head. “That is very kind of you Aemond but I’m afraid that our marriage is inevitable.”
“I’m sorry,” Aemond professed.
“It is not that marrying you is upsetting, Aemond. I merely swore an oath I would never marry anyone.” (y/n) reached out and held Aemond’s hand.
There was no harm in it now. He was her betrothed.
Aemond ran his thumb across (y/n)’s palm.
“I’m sorry you have to break that vow.”
(y/n) sighed. “Me too.”
“I promise I will be a good husband to you (y/n). My devotion for you is boundless.” Aemond stared at (y/n) lovingly.
Guilt ate at (y/n)’s heart. She could never return such devotion.
(y/n) took a deep breath. She would not keep her truth from Aemond. Not after she had made such a fuss about being lied to. If she had asked Aemond not to withhold information from her, she had to do the same.
“I do not deserve your devotion Aemond. I can never return it,” (y/n) began.
“I would not rush you (y/n). In time-”
(y/n) let go of Aemond’s hand and pressed her hand against his chest. Aemond stopped talking.
“No Aemond.” (y/n) swallowed hard. She had never revealed the truth about herself to anyone outside her family, not unless they were her lover.  “I hold you in high esteem but I am not...I cannot...I am incapable of loving you as a wife is supposed to love her husband.”
Aemond knit his eyebrows together. “I know the idea of marriage troubles you but-”
(y/n) shook her head. “Aemond please listen to me.” She reached up and cupped the Prince’s face. “I could never love any man. Those feelings are only ever brought forth inside me by beautiful women.”
Aemond’s eyebrows shot up before he pulled away from (y/n)’s touch. He looked away from her and frowned.
(y/n) held her breath. She hoped Aemond’s affection for her was greater than his dedication to the Faith.
Finally Aemond nodded slowly. “I see.” Aemond stood then turned to look at (y/n). “Excuse me.”
Before (y/n) could respond Aemond walked away and towards his dragon. (y/n) wanted to call after him but she knew it was best to let Aemond process the information on his own.
Aemond mounted Vhagar and flew up into the skies.
-
The next day, Aemond anxiously made his way to (y/n)’s chambers.
He had rudely cut their conversation short and ridden off on his dragon. He had not seen the Princess since.
Aemond had to apologize.
While on dragonback he realized that the Princess had no more control that he over matters of the heart. It was hard for him to accept that the woman he so adored could never return such adoration but Aemond knew that the Princess held him in high esteem. He would find a way to be content by her side. It was his duty as Prince of the realm to go forward with the marriage.
The only way to end the betrothal would be to expose the Princess, and Aemond could never betray her in such a way.
When he arrived to the Princess’ chambers he was surprised to see two members of the kingsguard standing watch outside her door.
Both knights greeted Aemond. Aemond greeted them back and asked to see the Princess. One of the knights opened the door for Aemond.
Aemond entered to find the Princess at her desk, writing on some parchment.
She looked up when Aemond entered her room. “Prince Aemond,” she said as she stood.
“It’s just Aemond, remember,” Aemond chided.
The Princess smiled warmly. “I was not sure if the secret I shared with you when last we met had changed things between us.”
Aemond stepped into the room and clasped his hands behind his back.
“I understand. I rushed off without saying much. I came to apologize.”
The Princess stepped out from behind the desk and approached Aemond.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I know it could not have been easy to hear such things.”  Then (y/n) motioned to the settee nearby. “Please sit,” she instructed.
Aemond did so, and the Princess sat opposite him in front of the roaring hearth.
“I thought about many things while riding amongst the clouds. I realized it would be unfair of me to hold such a disposition against you. You are no more in control of your heart than I am. But when you first told me I...” Aemond cleared his throat. “I care for you, deeply, (y/n). I have never felt this way about a woman before. So when you spoke about your inclinations, I could not bear it.”
(y/n) softened. “I’m so sorry Aemond. If any of my actions ever led you to believe that I felt the same...well I do care for you but not in the way you care for me, unfortunately.”
Aemond smiled weakly. “It is okay (y/n). I will strive to be a dutiful husband to you regardless.”
(y/n) leaned forward and reached out towards Aemond. Aemond let her hold his hand.
“And I will be a good wife to you. I will always stand by you, and I will do my duty.” (y/n) gave Aemond’s hand a squeeze. “In truth, if I am forced to marry I am glad it is to you.”
Aemond blushed and looked away from the Princess. “You are?”
“You are a good man Aemond. I am blessed it is you.”
(y/n) meant every word. She often wondered who her husband would end up being. (y/n) knew her father would eventually marry her off, out of necessity or his misguided intentions to seek what he thought was best for his daughter.
In the kindest of versions, she married a lord who did not care for her and left her alone to do as she pleased. In the harshest of versions...(y/n) never let her thoughts linger in those.
So she was indeed thankful her husband would be Aemond. He was her friend, and they shared many interests. Aemond was kind, and always made her laugh. She trusted him implicitly.
“Thank you,” Aemond replied.
(y/n) let go of Aemond’s hand, stood up and sat next to him.
“I know we are not married yet but...should you wish to warm another woman’s bed know that I will never hold it against you.”
Aemond could not meet (y/n)’s gaze. “(y/n)..”
(y/n) laughed. “I do not say that to embarrass you Aemond. I just wish you to know that I am aware that you have needs as a man that I cannot meet, and I would never be upset with you for seeking that comfort elsewhere.”
Aemond nodded and looked at the Princess. “(y/n), you are very kind but I will be content by your side. I feel a closeness to you that I have never felt with anyone else.”
(y/n) smiled in response.
A moment of silence passed between them before Aemond spoke again.
“So, why do you have guards outside your door?”
“Your mother- I’m sorry, the Queen,” (y/n) said with irritation laced in her tone. “Assigned two of the kingsguards to me. She claimed I am often difficult to find, and that the knights are for my safety.” (y/n) rolled her eyes.
Aemond laughed. “I thought you and my mother were friends.”
“We were,” (y/n) replied and looked down at her hands.
“What happened?” Aemond asked, noting the shift in (y/n)’s demeanor.
(y/n) looked at Aemond. “She lied to me about our betrothal. She kept it from me all these months.”
“In her defense your father had sworn her and the King to secrecy.”
(y/n) frowned. “As my betrothed you should be taking my side Aemond.”
Aemond chuckled. “I will always be on your side (y/n), but it seems unfair you hold such betrayal against my mother but have forgiven me.”
“You’re right,” (y/n) replied with a sigh.
Aemond playfully bumped his shoulder against the Princess’.
“If you make amends I’m sure you won’t need guards anymore.”
(y/n) nodded. “Then I’ll do so at once. I hate feeling like a prisoner.”
Aemond laughed. “Prisoners are not given such views of the keep,” Aemond said and pointed towards the Princess’ balcony.
(y/n) smiled, and agreed. Maybe she had been too harsh on Alicent. When it came to the Queen (y/n) had a difficult time thinking clearly. Her heart guided her more than her mind did.
-
Later that same day, (y/n) had another visitor.
The Queen had invited (y/n) to dine with her but (y/n) had refused. She had promised Aemond she would make amends but her lover’s betrayal still stung.
Alicent marched into the room. “You are acting like a child, (y/n).”
(y/n) was resting on the chaise she set up in front of her fireplace. She had already changed into her nightgown. (y/n) looked up from the book she was reading but did not stand.
“Good evening your grace, or should I call you my captor seeing as how I have guards following my every move.”
Alicent stepped closer, and lowered her gaze to meet (y/n)’s. She frowned.
“No one was able to find you (y/n), and I will remind you it was not for the first time. What else am I to do to ensure your safety?”
(y/n) set her book aside and stood up. “I am plenty safe.”
The Princess and the Queen stood a forearm’s length apart from one another.
“You went to see Vhagar. You could have been killed,” Alicent argued.
“But I was not.” (y/n) said and stepped closer to the Queen.
Alicent closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them she met (y/n)’s gaze. Alicent softened as she looked upon her lover’s face.
“Did you not stop to think of me? Running off to seek your doom with such a creature,” Alicent whispered, her anger depleted.
(y/n)’s will threatened to falter after hearing the softness in Alicent’s voice. But then she recalled her father’s letter and she remembered why she was so upset.
“Did you think of me when you lied to my face every day?”
The Queen reached across to (y/n). (y/n) stepped away.
Alicent sighed. “You’re being difficult,” she remarked.
“How else is a captive supposed to act?”
(y/n) knew she was being difficult but she could not stop herself. Knowing that Alicent loved her, truly loved her, made the fact that she kept the betrothal a secret hurt that much more. Yes, it was at her father’s insistence but it hurt that Alicent did not tell her once their romance had begun.
“I came here to apologize,” Alicent said and closed the gap between them.
(y/n) did not step away so Alicent took another tentative step towards (y/n). Then she reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind (y/n)’s ear.
(y/n)’s anger almost dissipated at Alicent’s touch. But her will was resolute. She met Alicent’s gaze.
“Then do so,” (y/n) challenged.
Alicent shook her head softly. “You are so....”
(y/n) edged forwards until she felt Alicent’s breath on her lips.
“What? What am I, your grace?”
Alicent licked her lips as she looked at (y/n)’s. Her heart thrummed in her ears. She had not been so close to the Princess in what felt like a long time.
But she regained her composure and stepped away from the Princess. She cleared her throat and turned to face (y/n) once Alicent was far enough away as to think clearly.
“(y/n), I hated lying to you. I did not think I would fall in love with you when I agreed to keep the secret. Then you arrived and you...changed my whole world,” Alicent professed with a fond smile on her face.
(y/n)’s resolve finally softened. She sighed and approached Alicent once more. She wrapped her arms around the Queen.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been cruel,” she whispered into the crook of Alicent’s neck.
Alicent relaxed when (y/n)’s arms engulfed her. She wrapped her arms around the Princess and held her tight.
“The mummer’s farce I was privy to was cruel. Your response was justified.”
(y/n) pulled away, but remained in the Queen’s arms. The princess met the Queen’s gaze.
“I will marry Aemond.”
Alicent’s brows raised. “You will?”
“I will do whatever it takes to remain by your side...Alicent,” (y/n) replied, making sure to emphasize that she called the Queen by her name and not her title.
Alicent smiled. Then she kissed (y/n) chastely on the lips.
(y/n) let out a small laugh. “I love you,” she whispered.
Alicent pressed her forehead against the Princess’.
“And I love you (y/n).”
The lovers held each other for a few more moments before they settled next to one another on (y/n)’s settee. Alicent rested her head on (y/n)’s shoulder as (y/n) read her book aloud to the Queen.
-
Following their reconciliation, the Queen and the Princess were back to their usual routine.
Every night, unless the Queen needed to attend to the King, (y/n) would sneak out of her chambers using the tunnels and secret passages carved out by King Maegor in order to reach Alicent’s sleeping chamber.
So when night arrived, (y/n) grabbed her favorite book and made her way to the Queen’s apartments.
The secret passages were cold and dark but (y/n) had long mastered them. She knew the way to Alicent’s apartments by heart.
(y/n) entered the Queen’s apartments via the tunnels then and made her way to the Queen’s sleeping chamber.
She knocked softly on the door.
“Come in,” Alicent called.
(y/n) opened the door and entered. She stayed by the entrance.
“Alicent,” (y/n) asked.
She looked about the room and did not see the Queen.
Then suddenly Alicent emerged from behind a privacy screen, wearing her nightgown. Alicent beamed when she laid eyes on (y/n). “I’m here love.”
(y/n) returned the Queen’s smile.
“Shall we?” (y/n) asked and motioned to the book in her arms.
Alicent nodded and climbed into bed. She settled before inviting (y/n) to sit next to her.
(y/n) climbed in on the other side of the bed and sat facing Alicent. She opened the book and placed it in her lap.
“What will you read me tonight, my love?”
“Well,” (y/n) shifted in bed, not meeting Alicent’s gaze. “I had hoped you wouldn’t mind if we read a chapter from a book I brought from Dorne.”
“Of course, why would I object,” Alicent asked, brows knit together.
Alicent did not like the mischievous smile on (y/n)’s face.
“The book I wish to read from is A Wanton’s Tale: A Caution for Young Girls..”
(y/n) met Alicent’s gaze. Alicent went red in the face.
“Are you mad,” she hissed. “That book is pure filth.”
(y/n) set the book aside and reached out for Alicent’s hands. Alicent didn’t pull away. (y/n) laced her fingers with Alicent’s.
“So you have been told but it truly is a most engrossing read,” (y/n) implored.
Alicent searched (y/n)’s face. “If anyone knew you possessed such a book, (y/n) it would be-”
“No one knows. No one but you, my beloved.” (y/n) inched closer. She pressed a kiss to Alicent’s knuckles. “Let me share my most favorite passage at the very least,” she pleaded.
Alicent closed her eyes and sighed. Then she looked at (y/n) and smiled softly.
“I cannot say no to you,” she confessed.
(y/n) smiled and placed a chaste kiss to Alicent’s lips before settling back on the bed and grabbing the book beside her.
Alicent let out a small laugh before she laid back against the pillows.
(y/n) cleared her throat then began to read. She read the passage that detailed Lady Coryanne Wylde’s time as a lover for a corsair queen in the Basilisk Isles. The passage began with Lady Wylde describing the way the pirate queen would summon her to the captain’s quarters every night.
“(y/n), this is not-,” Alicent protested.
(y/n) reached out and touched Alicent’s leg. The touch brought forth a fire from beneath the many layers of sheets. Alicent’s breath caught in her throat.
“Please, I want...I need you to listen,” (y/n) implored.
Alicent nodded, so (y/n) continued to read the passage.
“The corsair queen was insatiable and her touch was brutal. Night after night she brought forth endless pleasure and pain in equal amounts. I was helpless and most pliable under her skilled touch. The ghost of her tongue in my mouth and her fingers in my sex haunted me into the early hours of morning,” (y/n) read aloud, the pace of her reading slowing as she neared the end of the passage.
Alicent swallowed hard. “Maybe you should stop,” she whispered.
(y/n) met her gaze. The Princess’ eyes were dark and hungry.
“Why?”
Alicent pressed her legs together hoping that would quell the pulsing between them. She looked away from (y/n). “This isn’t...I don’t understand what you seek to accomplish with this.”
“I think you do, Ali,” (y/n) countered.
(y/n) set the book aside. She pressed a hand to Alicent’s leg once more.
Alicent whipped her head towards (y/n) and sat up. “What are you doing?”
(y/n) locked eyes with Alicent.
“Tell me to stop, and I will,” (y/n) promised.
Alicent held her breath as (y/n) crept towards her. The Princess straddled Alicent and gently pushed the Queen back against the pillows.
“Relax,” (y/n) murmured.
Alicent nodded, not trusting herself to speak.
(y/n)’s hand trailed down Alicent’s chest. Alicent’s nightgown covered almost everything but it stopped at the base of her neck. (y/n) fingered the endless chain of buttons that ran down the front of the nightgown.
“I memorized my favorite part of the passage,” (y/n) uttered while her focus remained on the cavalcade of buttons. “Would you like to hear it, Ali?”
Alicent couldn’t speak. She could not breathe. Never could she have imagined the Princess in her lap, (y/n)’s body pressed against her own.
(y/n) looked up at the Queen. She realized Alicent was not breathing. (y/n) panicked and cupped the Queen’s face.
“Breathe, my sweet, breathe,” she urged.
Finally, Alicent let out the breath she had been holding. The alarm flooded in as the air escaped her.
“We should not- please (y/n) we can’t,” Alicent rambled. She closed her eyes.
(y/n) held the Queen’s face firmly in her grip. “Look at me.”
Alicent opened her eyes and met (y/n)’s gaze.
“Tell me to stop. Tell me to get off. I will if you desire it,” (y/n) promised.
“I know not what I desire,” Alicent professed with a sigh.
(y/n) stroked Alicent’s cheeks with her thumbs.
“You do know. How do you feel when I do this,” (y/n) said before she dropped her hand and ran it down Alicent’s chest, her fingers ghosting against the Queen’s breast.
Alicent gasped. A fire lit inside her.
(y/n) held the Queen’s gaze. (y/n) waited for the Queen to respond.
“I....I-,” Alicent stuttered.
(y/n)’s hand rested on the Queen’s stomach. She thumbed a button before she undid one, then another, then another. Three, four, five buttons undone.
Alicent watched (y/n) slide her hand inside the opening she had made.
“Tell me to stop and I will,” (y/n) reiterated.
Then it dawned on Alicent. She did not want (y/n) to stop.
But she could never say it out loud.
(y/n) searched Alicent’s face for any sign of discomfort. She found none. Instead she found her own desire mirrored in the Queen’s eyes.
But (y/n) knew the Queen would never profess such a desire....not willingly.
(y/n) felt the Queen’s skin underneath the silk nightgown, soft and warm. Every part of her wanted to rip the nightgown off and ravage her lover. She wanted to devour Alicent.
But her desire would have to wait.
Alicent grabbed (y/n)’s forearm.
“Stop,” she whispered through deep breaths. “Please.”
(y/n) removed her hand and got off the Queen. Then the Princess got off the bed and gathered her book.
Alicent frowned and rushed out of her bed. “You don’t have to leave (y/n). I’m sorry. While the King lives I cannot lie with you,” Alicent implored.
(y/n) faced Alicent.
“No, Ali it’s not- It’s not because you asked me to stop. I....,” (y/n) felt her face grow hot. She looked away from the Queen. “I have to go. I’m too...”
“Too what,” Alicent asked, brow furrowed.
“I’m burning for you Alicent. My body is aching with desire to touch you,” (y/n) confessed, still not meeting the Queen’s gaze.
Alicent did not reply. She could not. What could she say? Surely not the truth. Alicent could never tell (y/n) that her pulsing between her legs had grown into painful throbbing. So Alicent turned away from (y/n).
(y/n) took this as a sign to leave. She rushed out of the room and out of the Queen’s apartments. She ran down the tunnels and did not stop until she reached her chambers.
Once alone, (y/n) tore her dress off and burrowed underneath the sheets of her bed. She closed her eyes as one hand trailed down to her sex, and the other cupped her breast.
“The pirate queen held me down with one rough and callused hand while she thrust three fingers inside my slit with the other. I was slick with desire and throbbing from the pirate’s brutish teasing,” (y/n) recited as her mind filled with images of Alicent.
The Princess slipped a finger inside herself. A gentle moan escaped her lips. She recalled the warmth of Alicent’s bare skin. The fire inside her grew into a roaring blaze. The Princess quickened her pace and thought of the taste of Alicent’s kiss. She bit her lip and cried out the Queen’s name as she reached her climax. (y/n) opened her eyes and attempted to catch her breath.
Now alone in her sleeping chamber, Alicent laid down and stared at the ceiling. The throbbing between her legs had not gone away. Her fingers itched to touch but Alicent knew not what. She had no knowledge, no prior experience, no direction for the need that engulfed her.
So she thought back to the sordid story (y/n) had recited to her.
A corsair queen, and a young lady of noble birth....Alicent’s mind swirled with lustful thoughts of (y/n). The memory of (y/n)’s fingers on her bare stomach brought forth a new arousal. Alicent closed her eyes and let the thoughts and feelings direct her touch.
Alicent undid her nightgown, recalling the sensation of (y/n) fingering each button along her chest. She bit down on her lip as a moan threatened to escape her.
Once her skin was bare, the draft from the window bringing forth goose pimples along her stomach, Alicent slid her hand down her body until she reached a part of her that she had never associated with pleasure.
That part of her was meant for duty. The duty of marriage. The duty of motherhood.
But now....now she touched herself, not with obligation in mind, but with the immense intensity of her desire for the Dornish Princess.
Tentative touches turned to impatient, and hungry kneading. Dripping with desire Alicent found it harder to reach the pressure that felt good. So she slowly slid a finger inside herself.
Alicent gasped.
It felt good.
Alicent sped up her pace as thoughts of (y/n) filled her mind. She thought of the way (y/n) crawled over to Alicent and straddled her. Of the way (y/n)’s hips bucked against her thighs when she had sat on Alicent’s lap. She recalled the way (y/n)’s chest heaved through heavy pants when she confessed of her carnal desire for Alicent. Alicent thought of the lust written all over (y/n)’s face
Her stomach tightened. Alicent felt a fire build inside her, one that threatened to overwhelm her senses.
Alicent’s mind inundated with the sound of (y/n) calling her, “Ali.”
The Princess had never called her that before, and she had spoken the name with such reverence. Alicent quickened her pace and thrust another finger inside her.
“(y/n),” Alicent whispered as she felt herself reach the edge of her desire.
Alicent bit down hard on her lip as a surge of pleasure washed over her. Her mind froze and she could only picture (y/n) in the yellow nightgown that hugged her curves. Another moan threatened to escape so Alicent bit her lip even harder. So hard that she drew a drop of blood.
It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. The warmth that filled her afterwards left a dazed smile on her face. Alicent licked her lips, and took steadying breaths.
Once she had calmed down and the throbbing between her legs had vanished, the remorse flooded in.
Gods, what had she just done?
-
The following day, (y/n) found it difficult to get a moment alone with the Queen. Ser Criston insisted the Queen was busy with her many duties to the realm.
But (y/n) knew the truth, she had crossed a line with Alicent. She had pushed Alicent too far that night. (y/n) felt like a fool. She had given in to her desire without a care as to how Alicent would feel.
The Princess knew that she had to take things slow. Alicent was not like her. Alicent did not have her experience.
All (y/n) wanted to do was make it up to Alicent, to apologize, but it seemed as though Alicent did not want to give her such an opportunity.
(y/n) made her way to the library. She did not want to spend her day alone, and knew Aemond would be there. She knew Aemond would comfort her as he always did.
-
Alicent felt cruel, once again lying to (y/n), but she could barely look at herself without feeling deep shame and embarrassment.
She had debased herself that night. She needed to go to the sept and repent.
But Alicent had not gone. She had not prayed.
She would not deny how good she felt after reaching her climax, or how peacefully she had slept that night. If Alicent was being honest with herself, she had never slept so well.
So Alicent buried herself in her duties, and asked Criston to turn (y/n) away should the Princess come looking for her. 
Alicent did not want to see the Princess until her thoughts and feelings aligned more clearly.
-
(y/n) made her way to the Queen’s apartments to break fast as was their custom. She hoped the Queen would see her that morning, and that whatever offense she had caused had been forgiven.
Ser Criston stood watch, as he always did. He saw the Princess approach and sighed.
“The Queen is otherwise occupied, Princess. She cannot break fast with you today,” he said stoically.
(y/n) sighed. “Will you inform her that I stopped by?”
The knight nodded. “Of course Princess.”
(y/n) turned around and walked down the hall. Once again she found herself walking to the library.
Thankfully, Aemond was there. He looked up and smiled when he saw her.
“Morning (y/n).”
(y/n) smiled back halfheartedly.
Aemond frowned. “What troubles you today?”
“The same that troubled me last we spoke,” (y/n) replied and settled on the chaise underneath the high window.
“My mother? Do you hold her in such high esteem that not breaking fast together causes you such pain?” Aemond joked.
(Y/N) closed her eyes and frowned.
“I do indeed Aemond. She is not simply your mother. She is the Queen of the realm and has done so much for me in court. It pains me that I do not know why she spurns me so.”
“My mother can be capricious. This will pass (y/n).”
“I hope so.”
Aemond closed the book he was reading and stood up. He walked to (y/n), and patted the Princess’ legs. The Princess sat up and allowed Aemond space to sit beside her.
“Let us move on to lighter conversation,” Aemond said with a glint in his eye.
(y/n) did not like the smirk that spread across Aemond’s face.
“What did you have in mind?”
“I have a few questions, now that we are betrothed and we have no secrets between us.”
(y/n) nodded slowly. “That sounds reasonable.”
“Have you kissed another girl?”
(y/n) rolled her eyes then swatted Aemond’s arm. “You are a fool,” she teased.
Aemond laughed. “It would be embarrassing if my wife to be has more experience than I when it comes to women.”
(y/n) laughed alongside Aemond. “That is true.”
Aemond playfully knocked his shoulder against (y/n)’s. “So?”
“Fine...I have kissed another woman before. In truth, I have done quite a lot with many women back in Sunspear,” (y/n) confessed.
“You dog,” Aemond chided with a smile.
The pair laughed once more.
“How does that work, with two women?”
(y/n) looked over at Aemond. She noted that his question seemed earnest. (y/n) patted Aemond’s cheek softly.
“My husband to be you have much to learn.”
Aemond and the Princess once again burst into laughter.
The (y/n) settled and stared at Aemond. She knew Aemond cared for her, and he seemed to embrace who she truly was, but she was not sure if he would forgive her for loving his mother.
“Aemond,” (y/n) began, unsure if this was the right moment to ask.
Aemond met the Princess’ gaze. “Yes?”
“You are my ally, correct?”
Aemond nodded. “Of course. There is nothing I would not do for you (y/n).”
(y/n) looked down at her hands in her lap. “Would you still feel that way if I...cared for another woman.”
“You mean love her, as I love you?”
(y/n) nodded.
Aemond took a deep breath and pondered the Princess’ query. After a moment he turned to (y/n).
“I would.”
(y/n) smiled. “Thank you.”
Aemond returned the Princess’ smile. “I am to be your husband (y/n), and I will keep your secrets as a husband should. You never have to lie to me. We are one.”
(y/n) reached out and wrapped her arms around Aemond.
“I am so thankful it is you who I will marry,” she whispered.
Aemond held the Princess tight. He still felt a sting in his heart every time he was reminded that (y/n) would never love him as he loved her but he did his best to ignore it.
The pair pulled apart. 
“Will you tell me who this woman is that has captured your heart?”
(y/n) blushed furiously. “Her true nature is not mine to divulge.” She met Aemond’s gaze. “As much as I would like to tell you everything, I can’t.”
Aemond nodded slowly. “I understand.”
(y/n) bit her lip before she spoke again.
“But...I will seek your counsel on something that troubles me about her.”
Aemond perked up. “Go on. I will do my best though I am not as experienced in matters of the heart.”
(y/n) took a deep breath to settle her nerves.
“The woman I love is highborn, and dedicated to the Faith. As such she tends to push me away when we get too close.”
Aemond nodded. “Any woman raised in the Faith will struggle to forget all that was taught to her, especially what is taught about marriage. You must have patience (y/n).”
“I do. I understand it is difficult for her. I just wish she would talk to me about such struggles and not isolate from me,” (y/n) replied with a deep sigh.
“Then I would urge you to be bold. Be bold and demand that she speak with you and not push you away. You deserve a partner in all aspects (y/n).”
(y/n) nodded. “Thank you Aemond. Your counsel is most wise.”
A knock turned their heads to towards the doors of the library.
“Enter,” Aemond commanded.
 Talya entered and greeted them both.
“Another scroll from Dorne, Princess.”
Then Talya approached the Princess and Aemond where they sat. She handed the Princess the scroll.
“Thank you Talya,” (y/n) said.
Talya bowed her head and left the pair alone once more.
“Who will they betroth me to next,” (y/n) joked as she unfurled the scroll.
Aemond let out a small laugh. “I pity the man they choose.”
(y/n) scanned the parchment. Her eyes went wide with fear. Aemond furrowed his brows.
“What is wrong (y/n)?”
(y/n) swallowed hard. “It is from my father. He states that he and my sister will venture to King’s Landing.
“Is that not good news?” Aemond asked, confused.
(y/n) crumpled the letter in her hand.
“Aemond, my father would not journey so far without good reason. He states it is to help wedding preparations but he would not venture all this way merely for that.”
The Princess stood and Aemond mirrored her.
“You think he has more sinister ambitions?”
(y/n) shook her head as she paced in front of Aemond.
“Not sinister, but I know there is more than he is telling me.”
Aemond nodded slowly. “My mother must know about this. There are many preparations to be made for the Prince’s arrival. Go to her,” he urged.
“But she does not wish to see me,” (y/n) protested.
Aemond waved (y/n) off.
“She will set such pettiness aside. My mother cares for the realm above all.”
(y/n) bit her lip, still unsure. Then she nodded. She would have to be bold, as Aemond had advised.
-
(y/n) approached the Queen’s apartments. Ser Criston saw the Princess and sighed loudly.
“The Queen is busy,” Ser Criston proclaimed.
(y/n) did not believe him. Alicent was the Queen but not even she was so busy. (y/n) crossed her arms against her chest.
“I am not leaving without seeing the Queen.”
Ser Criston shrugged. “You may wait outside but you cannot enter.”
(y/n) stewed in her anger. She had to think of a way to get inside.
So she turned away from the door. The Princess acted as though she was leaving down the hall. Then suddenly she turned back around and dashed to the door.
Ser Criston caught her just as she had pushed past him, but she had made it in enough that the Queen saw their struggle.
“Ser Criston?” Alicent called out.
Ser Criston let go. (y/n) surged forwards.
“Something terrible has happened,” (y/n) declared.
Ser Criston trailed behind her. He looked at the Queen and sighed. 
“Apologies your grace. Princess (y/n) pushed past me.”
(y/n) frowned. “You’re the Queen’s sworn shield. I should not have been able to push past you.”
Ser Criston clenched his jaw but did not reply.
Alicent noticed Criston tense.
“You may go Ser Criston.”
Criston nodded and left the Princess alone with the Queen.
The Queen sat at her writing desk, with various correspondence strewn in front of her. The Queen did not stand and did not meet (y/n)’s gaze. Instead she looked down at the letters and resumed her work.
“Now what is so terrible?” She asked without looking up.
(y/n) walked to the desk and dropped the letter onto the table.
“My sister and father journey to King’s Landing. They claim it’s to give their support in preparing for my wedding but I doubt that is the whole of it.”
The Queen grabbed the letter and read it for herself. Her brows furrowed.
“I have not even thought of wedding preparations. Is this not sudden?”
Alicent looked up. (y/n) noted that Alicent looked tired, as though she had not slept well.
(y/n) nodded. “It is but you won’t have to make any preparations with Coryanne at the Keep.”
“You think she would take such an interest in it,” Alicent asked, nerves building inside her.
Alicent thought she would have more time. Time to at least come to terms with the idea of her love marrying her son. Now it was all happening so fast.
(y/n) shrugged. “I cannot say for certain but Coryanne has sought to control absolutely everything since I was a child.”
“You’re not close?”
Alicent had always thought (y/n) close to her family. She had always spoken of them with such affection. But Alicent realized she had not spoken much about her sister Coryanne.
“Gods no. She is as cunning as a fox, and as treacherous as a viper. Ever since her betrothed died she has made sure to be involved with all major and minor decisions my father makes. One would think she is the heir to Dorne and not Aliandra.” (y/n) huffed.
Alicent sighed. “No matter. There is much to be done to make sure the Prince is properly greeted and housed upon his arrival.”  The Queen stood from her desk. “We should call for Talya. We need to make preparations at once.”
(y/n) bit the inside of her cheek and looked away from the Queen. Alicent noticed (y/n) had gone quiet.
“Is there something more,” Alicent asked.
“There is one more thing I should share with you regarding my sister,” (y/n) confessed, wincing slightly.
“What is it?”
(y/n) sat down in the chair opposite Alicent’s desk. She took a deep breath before she met the Queen’s gaze.
“I have no secrets Coryanne does not know. Not because I have freely expressed them with her, but because she always finds them out.”
Alicent sank back down to her seat.
“Do you think she would...,” Alicent asked and trailed off, not able to finish.
(y/n) nodded. “I do.”
Alicent leaned back in her seat. “So what does that mean for us?”
“I don’t know,” (y/n) said with a shrug.
Silence descended on the Queen and the Princess.
(y/n) did not wish to lie to Alicent. Coryanne was smart and cunning. (y/n) had always done her best to avoid confrontation with her sister.
Alicent stared out towards the windows. A pensive look crossed her face. 
The Princess fiddled with her fingers while she waited for Alicent to say something, anything at all.
When she realized Alicent would not say anything, and could no longer stand the awkward silence (y/n) cleared her throat to speak.
“I will do my best to thwart whatever plots Coryanne concocts but I know it will be a challenge.”
Alicent nodded and returned her gaze to (y/n). “I trust that you will, (y/n).”
(y/n) leaned forwards, closer to Alicent. “I would also like to apologize for my actions the other night. I should not have forced myself upon you as I did. It won’t happen again Alicent.”
Alicent’s heart ached. She looked away from the Princess.
“I...It was not that (y/n).”
(y/n) furrowed her brows. “Then why did you refuse to see me all day?”
Alicent stood up and moved away from her desk. She turned her back to (y/n).
“I cannot say, it is too....humiliating,” Alicent mumbled and felt her face go hot.
(y/n) stood and walked towards the Queen. “You can tell me anything Ali.”
At the sound of that pet name Alicent’s body was flooded with a now familiar fire.
(y/n) noted the way Alicent’s body tensed. She frowned once more.
“Did I say something wrong?”
Alicent shook her head softly. Then she turned to face (y/n).
“No, my love it is just that...you never called me such a name before that night and it-,” Alicent swallowed hard. She could not bring herself to say it.
But she loved (y/n), so she would swallow her shame and tell the Princess the truth. She had promised to only speak the truth so she would keep true to her word.
Alicent cleared her throat.
“That night, after you left I....” Alicent groaned. She walked to the settee near her and sat down. She covered her face with her hands. “I was ablaze with desire as well. There was a powerful, almost painful, throbbing between my legs and I...Well I- Gods this is difficult. I-”
(y/n) walked to where Alicent sat and placed a gentle hand on Alicent’s shoulder.
“You don’t need to say another word. I understand,” (y/n) said in soothing tone.
The Princess didn’t need Alicent to finish. She knew where things were headed by the way Alicent could not look her in the eye.
A wave of gratitude washed over Alicent. She dropped her hands and relaxed her shoulders a bit. She looked up at (y/n), a small smile spreading across her face.
“Thank you.”
(y/n) returned Alicent’s smile but said nothing.
Alicent let out a nervous laugh.
“You must think me foolish for not being able to talk about such actions.”
(y/n) sat down next to Alicent reached out for the Queen’s hand. “I would never think such a thing of you.” (y/n) laced their fingers together. “In truth, I committed the same act once in the privacy of my own chamber.”
Alicent raised her brows. “Oh.”
(y/n) looked down at their entwined hands. “I would still like to apologize, for rushing things. I know you are new to loving a woman and I promise I will be more patient. I do not wish to scare you off.”
Alicent gave (y/n)’s hand a squeeze. (y/n) looked back up at Alicent.
“You could never scare me off (y/n). I know that in the past I have been easily swayed but last night...I did not ever think myself capable of such experiencing such pleasure, and I did so because of you.”
(y/n) blushed. “Because of me?”
Alicent smirked. “I certainly was not thinking of the King, my love.”
(y/n) let out a small laugh, her face growing warmer.
“Besides,” Alicent continued, “This is not exactly my first time loving a woman.”
The Princess’ eyes went wide. “Princess Rhaenyra?”
Alicent furrowed her brows. “How did you know?“
(y/n) laughed once more. She tilted her head to the side. “Who else could it have been, my love?”
Alicent let out a laugh of her own. “You are right.” She brought (y/n)’s hand up to her lips and kissed her knuckles.
(y/n) smiled warmly. Then she looked away from Alicent.
“You don’t have to answer but I am curious if you and Princess Rhaenyra ever...you know,” (y/n) trailed off, hoping the Queen would follow her implication.
The Queen did. She blushed deep red.
“Gods no, we never did more than kiss.”
(y/n) met Alicent’s gaze. “So how did you know how to...”
Her face was hotter than dragonfire, at least that was how Alicent felt. But she would tell the Princess everything, as she had promised she would.
“Well I did not know, not at first. But I closed my eyes, remembered that sordid passage you had read, and tried to think what you would do. My hands guided themselves once I let myself feel just how much I desired you,” she admitted, not able to meet (y/n)’s gaze.
This time it was (y/n) who gave Alicent’s hand a squeeze. “Thank you for telling me. I know that is not easy for you.”
Alicent looked over at (y/n). “Thank you, for being patient with me.”
(y/n) leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on Alicent’s lips. Alicent smiled. She reached out and cupped (y/n)’s face with her free hand.
“I love you so much. Please believe that I am trying my hardest to give all of myself to you, as I do want to, but it is difficult for me to reckon how I feel with everything that I always believed to be true as taught to me.”
(y/n) leaned into Alicent’s touch. “Of course I believe you Alicent. I would wait until Dorne froze over for you. So long as we are together I care not if we never go beyond kisses. As we both now know, there is more than one way for us to be together.”
Alicent dropped her hand and leaned her head on (y/n)’s shoulder.
“Thank you (y/n). I am so fortunate that you are mine.”
(y/n) kissed the top of Alicent’s head.
“Not as fortunate as I, your grace,” (y/n) teased.
Alicent laughed. She let go of (y/n)’s hand and wrapped her arms around (y/n)’s waist. Alicent placed a kiss on (y/n)’s neck. “I love you,” she whispered.
(y/n) hummed sweetly. “I never tire of hearing you say that.”
Alicent lifted her head and met (y/n)’s gaze. “Then I shall say it again. I love you (y/n).”
(y/n) stroked Alicent’s cheek with her thumb. “Not more than I love you.”
Alicent leaned forwards and pressed her lips against (y/n)’s. (y/n) buried her fingers in Alicent’s curls.
As they continued to kiss (y/n) would realize she no longer felt cold. The chill deep inside her was replaced with a raging blaze that could only be quelled by her lover’s lips.
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hyenasheep · 1 year
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Kinda forgot to share my Ghost oc here but anyway
This is Samael
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very brief summary of Samael's lore and basic stuff
Samael, also known as Sister Imperator's spiritual "father," is a mysterious and powerful being with a deep connection to the spiritual realm, praises by many of the members. Originally hailing from the realm of the dead, Samael was summoned by Sister Imperator's bloodline to attend a "party" of sorts, where he was tasked with choosing a vessel for a powerful unclean and familiar spirit called Nihil.
That vessel turned out to be A young man with a already burgeoning music career. Together, the two formed a satanic music duo, becoming well known Hollywood "bussiness partners".
However, as time went on, tensions began to rise between Samael and Nihil, based off the "Kiss the Go Goat" Events.This caused a rift between the three, with Sister Imperator developing a love-hate relationship with Nihil, while Samael turned his back on him. As time went on their bickering just turned into passive aggressive bullying.
Despite his intimidating presence, Samael is fiercely protective and supportive of one of his closest children and adoptive daughter; Sister Imperator and his "grandkids" (The Emeritus brothers). He has a soft spot forsmall children in their clergy, playing and teaching them in the garden. He's actually quite sweet and naive, struggling to understand the modern world. He certainly enjoys anything from jazz to metal while eating pack of his favorite spicy Cheetos.
Whether he is seen as a devil, missionary man, or anything else, one thing is certain: At the end, Samael will stand by the abyss, while watching the world being in flames, reaching his hands for his sunshines
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rhetoricandlogic · 3 months
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Liz Bourke Reviews A Fire Born of Exile by Aliette de Bodard
October 21, 2023
A Fire Born of Exile is Aliette de Bodard’s second novel-length Xuya universe space opera. It’s a compelling, atmospheric tale of consequences, romance, and revenge. (I should note that I’m mentioned in the acknowledgements, which may cause you to consider me a biased observer.)
Minh is the daughter of the prefect of the Scattered Pearls Belt, raised in sheltered luxury, her future laid out for her regardless of her own desires. Her mother is emotionally distant at best, though it would be more accurate to categorise her as abusive. A brief moment of rebellion sees Minh, in disguise, attending the Tiger Games to enjoy the entertainment: in the aftermath of a riot, she’s rescued from a kidnapping attempt by the mysterious ‘‘Alchemist of Streams and Hills,’’ the cultured, cosmopolitan scholar Sương Quỳnh and her companion, the mindship Guts of Sea.
Thiên Hoà is a struggling engineer keeping a business going with her sister, Thiên Dung. Hoà’s elder sister, a scholar, was disgraced in the aftermath of a rebellion, the Ten Thousand Flags Uprising, and is years dead, while Dung, whose skills include working on mindships, is very ill. Dung was supposed to take a job repairing a very badly wrecked mindship, Flowers at the Gates of the Lords, but her illness means Hoà needs to go in her place, pretending to skills she doesn’t have, if they’re to keep going. When she visits her dead elder sister’s grave, she encounters a cultured, at­tractive upper-class stranger who corresponded with the elder sister before the Uprising making offerings there: Quỳnh. Quỳnh offers to help Hoà with the mindship job, and Hoà accepts. But Hoà suspects that Quỳnh is ‘‘hurtling along some private path to some disastrous, distant conflagration.’’ Hoà doesn’t really want the risk of associating with someone who might well set others on fire along with herself.
Quỳnh had a different name, once. A survivor of the Uprising – from the wrong side – she’s planned for revenge for years: Revenge on the prefect who put down the rebellion and on the general, General Tuyết, who stood by her side. Tuyết, who had once denounced Quỳnh to the magistrate to be condemned to death. Now she and Guts of Sea are putting their plans into motion, and she has left her toddler child (also a mindship) in another person’s care in order to execute it. Quỳnh does not expect to survive her revenge, but she plans to ruin the lives of all the wealthy, powerful people who were happy to condemn an innocent woman to death before she dies. She didn’t expect to meet Hoà. She didn’t expect to be attracted to her. There’s – just barely – room for a small kindness to Hoà in her plan. There’s no room at all for attraction.
There’s a saying about best laid plans and how often they go awry. In this case, it definitely ap­plies.
De Bodard has said that A Fire Born of Exile was inspired by The Count of Monte Cristo, and while I can’t remember much of the original (it was not formative literature for me, I do not recommend reading it aged ten), the revenge plot that teeters a little off the rails because the avenger catches an unfortunate case of compassion for the collateral damage – and because other people’s choices tilt the scales – is a fascinating one. This doesn’t mean that Quỳnh abandons her revenge, but it does end up looking different than she anticipated. That happens in part because her burgeoning relationship with Hoà, and Hoà’s resolute determination not to be part of Quỳnh’s revenge, pushes her off-balance. And in part because Minh, and the choices Minh makes as she tries to navigate a way out from underneath her mother and her stepmother without losing herself, end up having consequences Quỳnh didn’t entirely take into account.
De Bodard’s work is often concerned with power: with the indifference or cruelty of people who hold it and the difficulties of finding ethical paths to any kind of real justice or fair dealing in societies that enforce hierarchical structureswith exemplary legal violence and call it just; with the problems posed by power differentials in interpersonal relationships even when all parties try to act with kindness and good faith; with the responsibilities owed by parental figures to their children and the power that parental figures and teachers have to help or harm those children by action or omission. In A Fire Born of Exile, Minh’s family situation mirrors in microcosm the greater injustices of her society, a smaller and perhaps more intensely personal version of the injustice that Quỳnh once suffered at Minh’s mother’s hands. Hoà, who has never expected either justice or revenge but who has not let the injustice in her make her cruel or cynical, changes them both.
Minh’s growing recognition of her mother’s cruelty, her longing to be valued, to be loved, and her eventual realisation that she’ll never get this from her mother, is painfully well-drawn. So too is the romance between Hoà and Quỳnh, a romance that is against each of their better judgement. For Quỳnh, Hoà is a breath of happi­ness but a terrible vulnerability, and though she knows that her commitment to revenge means their romance is doomed, she can’t quite draw back from it either. For Hoà, Quỳnh is unex­pectedly compelling, fascinating, someone who makes her feel something new, but she’s afraid of the consequences of Quỳnh’s revenge, for Quỳnh and for her. Their relationship is fraught with that push-and-pull, but the ultimate resolution feels decidedly earned.
A Fire Born of Exile opens with a riot and doesn’t let up from there. Poisonings, intrigue, terrible secrets and tense confrontations combine in a tense, accomplished space opera, told with de Bodard’s usual vividness and verve. For my money, it’s an even better novel than The Red Scholar’s Wake, which I loved.
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lazaruspiss · 7 months
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Gotham Knights: Villains
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Talia al Ghul: As the daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, she was raised to be the League of Shadows' second-in-command, and has been fiercely loyal to their cause since childhood. Growing up within the League, she has come to see people as chess pieces to be manipulated, though there was a brief time when another path seemed possible. In hindsight, our brief relationship was a mistake. I should have known she would never betray her father by leaving the League. In recent years, Talia has grown resentful of her father for passing her over as his replacement. Ra's al Ghul: One of my oldest and most dangerous enemies. The leader of the League of Shadows, Ra's always believed that humanity needs to be reset, free of the corruption infecting society for the last thousand years. He has killed countless innocents in pursuit of this goal. He is hundreds of years old thanks to the supernatural effects of the Lazarus Pit. Ra's is not immortal and has been obsessed with the idea that I replace him at the head of the League, despite our rivalry. In recent years he seems to be losing himself, becoming more volatile and losing his sense of purpose. This is likely due to his repeated exposure to the Lazarus Pit.
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Mr. Freeze: Victor Fries is a brilliant scientist with an unfortunate condition that requires his body to operate at sub-zero temperatures. As Mr. Freeze, he is one of my oldest adversaries. He long promised he would reform once he found a cure for his wife Nora's condition. However, after her recovery she rejected him because of the atrocities he committed in her name. Now, he seems to be headed down a very dark path. I'm working to develop an antidote for his condition, but until he accepts responsibility for his actions, he will never truly be cured.. Clayface: Basil Karlo was once an actor, but his delusions of grandeur and his ego lead him into a life of crime. I was unable to save Karlo from the accident that turned him into the criminal known as Clayface, and he has held a personal grudge against me ever since. His anger and his ability to mold his body into any shape have made for a dangerous combination in our past encounters. The last time we faced off, Karlo fell to his death, having been torn apart by a turbine. I couldn't stop it. Karlo may have hated me, but he never deserved a violent end. Clayface's motivations are simple. Vengeance. He's a spiteful person who has gone from being a burgeoning actor to be a disgraced criminal.
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Harley Quinn: Harley's incredibly agile and uses her acrobatic kicks and flips mixed with a massive sledgehammer to fight through anything in her way. Determined and incredibly stubborn, Harley's got an innate sense of her own abilities and will never stop. Previously Dr. Harleen Quinzel, a rising star in the field of psychology, she turned to a life of crime and feeding on the chaos it offered. She worked with my worst enemy for some time before going her own way. Harley has recently shown signs that she is interested in rehabilitation, and I want to believe she is capable of it. I have recruited her to assist me with something on my latest case, something she is uniquely qualified to help with. My hope is that she will get a taste of the good she can do and that may help her turn over a new leaf.
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royalpain16 · 7 months
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Sophie Wessex Felt 'Intimidated' by Princess Diana Who Made Her Cry during Their 1st Meeting, Book Claim
By Oyin Balogun
Sophie Wessex and Diana had a rough start at the former's introduction into the family. Sophie tried to rise above the discrimination of being a "commoner" in the royal house and make a meaningful impact.
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Sophie Rhys-Jones and Princess Diana, July 14, 1994 (Lady Sarah Chatto's wedding)
Sophie Rhys-Jones, Countess of Wessex, is the wife of Prince Edward, Queen Elizabeth's youngest son and Earl of Wessex. The royal, a daughter of Christopher and Mary Rhys-Jones, grew up in Kent and trained as a secretary. She chose a career path in public relations, and while working in that capacity, she met her husband.
Sophie met her husband when he was scheduled to meet Sue Parker, a former tennis player, for a photoshoot for the "Prince Edward Challenge." The athlete could not make it, and Sophie stepped in and saved the day by taking the photoshoot with him. A relationship burgeoned.
In 1999 1993, the couple met again at a charity event, and they kickstarted their relationship, which would end in marriage. Sophie did not become wife and countess of Wessex until five years later, when their burgeoning relationship took a step further and resulted in marriage in 1999.
When interviewed and asked why it took so long to propose, the prince explained that if he had proposed earlier, chances were high that Sophie would have declined. He said:
"It's impossible for anybody else to understand why it has taken me so long. But I don't think it had been right before and I don't think Sophie would have said yes. Hopefully the fact that she has said yes means I've hit the timing right."
DIANA AND SOPHIE'S FIRST MEETING
Sophie who started her career in public relations and worked in firms such as Capital Radio, grew up in a middle-class family with her father, a businessman.
The Countess of Wessex, who blended into the royal family after her marriage and ran her duties with all diligence, did not have it easy with some people who referred to her humble background. One such person was Princess Diana.
While still the girlfriend of Prince Edward, Sophie and Diana had a chance meeting when members of the royal house had afternoon tea with the Queen.
It was reported that Diana cupped her face in her hands and stared hard at Sophie amidst the polite conversation and chit-chat. The countess felt threatened and had to take leave from her highness to exit the room and broke down in tears while Edward consoled her.
It seemed like there was a cold war between the two young wives in the royal household, and it's believed that Diana could not comprehend how Sophie, from a low background, would "rub shoulders" with bonafide members of the royal household.
After the "tea episode," Sophie became careful of the Princess of Wales and tried not to get too involved with her. On the wedding day of Lady Margaret's daughter, at the church's steps, Diana tried to strike up a conversation with Sophie.
Wary and alert, Sophie guessed Diana had an ulterior motive for this gesture; to create a moment where pictures of them together could be taken by photographers.
It seemed it was not only Sophie who was wary of the Princess of Wales and her unseemly attitude. A friend of the royal house made this statement concerning princess Diana and Sophie:
"Sophie's view was shaped by the royal one, that the princess was manipulative, cunning and conniving"
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Sophie, Countess of Wessex, now Duchess of Edinburgh, February 24, 2009, London
The royal family allegedly brainwashed Diana, and Sophie felt sorry for how Diana had treated them. Princess Diana's private secretary for eight years, Patrick Jephson, also commented on how the royal house perceived her. She said:
"In their view she had put herself outside their charmed circle and was now relegated to the role of outsider."
It seemed that the members of the British royal house had a unanimous perception of Diana and thought her trifling and troublesome, and everyone steered clear of her.
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Diana, Princess of Wales, February 15, 1984
Starting in the royal family had its dips and lows for Sophie. The constant comparisons between herself and Diana by the press and people were terrifying to her. The press made it a point of call to compare the courtship period of Sophie and Diana with their spouses.
Sophie was engaged to her husband for five years before they tied the knot in 1993 1999, unlike Diana, who married Prince Charles five months after courtship.
One of the presumed reasons Diana "looked down" on Sophie was that she was from an aristocratic home, unlike Sophie. The latter was a commoner with her father running an import-export tire business.
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Diana, Princess of Wales, January 13 1997
Princess Diana was a fashion-forward icon with striking features, and Sophie was constantly set side by side with Diana. During her engagement, the tabloid would use similar pictures of both women and place them side by side. This did not go down well with Sophie.
Another thing these two women did not have in common was the way they handled the media. Sophie and her husband were very private, unlike Diana, who was not so tight-lipped and revealed details of her husband's affair and her infidelity. Paul Thompson, a London reporter on the royals commented that:
"She and Edward have always been very private. Unlike Diana, she doesn't have a shine to the limelight"
To her credit, Sophie, with her PR background, knew how to handle the press and create a good image. Diana was new to the media when she got married and did not know how to deal with them until much later. Thompson said, "Diana was naive when she dealt with the press; we won't be seeing that with Sophie."
On the occasion of her birthday, photographers stormed her office to get shots of the countess; Sophie's reaction was unlike what Diana would have done. Commenting on her reaction, Thompson recalled:
"She got out of the car, took the bouquets of flowers from well-wishers – Di would have never done that – looked the photographers straight in the eyes, gave them their pictures and then said, 'Thank you very much' and walked into work"
After the demise of Diana, society was ready to fill the void she left, and Sophie felt like the most suitable candidate as she was in favor of the public and royals. Jane Proctor, editor-in-chief of Tasker, a British society magazine, said concerning Sophie:
"People just want to fill a hole right now, but she is no Diana."
The Princess of Wales once compared the society's reception of herself and Sophie. It was recalled that "Diana reportedly once called her "little Miss Goody Two Shoes" and asked Fergie (Duchess of York), "Why is she getting such an easy ride? We were thrown to the wolves." {If I recall, somebody else said these words}
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Queen Elizabeth II and Sophie Wessex on December 25th, 2002
Things didn't go all that smoothly for Sophie as a royal as she once experienced some unpleasantness. A tape was reportedly released about Sophie and her partner in her PR firm (R-JH), Murray Harkin, about indiscretions spewed by both.
The countess made statements about public figures in the royal house and the political scene. She revealed her political standing and confidential information in her possession under her position as a royal household member.
The content of this tape was spread across ten pages of national newspapers and was a big deal for the royal family. Once accused of using her royal connections to benefit her business, Sophie quit it after her marriage and devoted her time to her kids, the royal house, and charities.
Sophie and her family have since bonded with the Queen after the death of the Duke of Edinburgh. They became more affectionate after the monarch's demise and shared beautiful moments.
Talking about how she copes with the comparison between her and the late Diana, she said: "And I don't think I could have coped with that level of pressure or expectation. Everyone said: "Gosh, doesn't she look like Diana?" Then they thought: "This isn't going to be much good because she's not turning up every day in different outfits, opening children's hospitals," you know. I do some of that but not as much as they'd like.
This year's platinum jubilee celebrations of the Royal Windsor Horse Show will be memorable for Sophie and Edward as their daughter, Lady Louise Windsor, will be the one driving the carriage of the Duke of Edinburgh.
With many charities and organizations she runs and the daily running of the royal home and her household, Sophie has her hands full and still manages to keep her head up.
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ancientphantom · 1 year
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I'm a regular reader of historical romance and I was reading your review of Anne Stuart's take on POTO (and giggling along, bc it's bad even by my standards even if I indulge in trash from time to time). That did make me curious though, are there any other fiction books with Meg (or a Meg/Christine combo) be the Phantom's love interest? I remember hearing about Sadie Montgomery's books a few years back but I was wondering if it was an outlier and that everything else had Christine or an OC.
I'm glad you enjoyed the review!
While the majority of Phantom lit is E/C, with R/C in second place, there is more than a little E/M kicking around out there! Here are a few off the top of my head:
The Phoenix of the Opera Series by Sadie Montgomery - you mentioned this, but it's a big one! There are seven books in this series - The Phoenix of the Opera, Out of the Darkness, The Phantom's Opera, Phantom Death, Phantom Madness, and Phantom Nightmare, all of which cover Erik's and Meg's burgeoning romantic relationship and ensuing adventures. I've only got a review of the first one (I didn't love it, but you might!), but the whole series is pretty much the top-tier E/M option out there.
The Guardian of the Opera series by Cheryl Mahoney - this is another purely E/M series, and much newer than the Montgomery ones, which came out about 20 years prior. While the first book follows the events of Leroux's novel fairly closely, just from Meg's point of view, the following two develop a romance between the Phantom and the ballet dancer.
The Angels of Music series by Louise Ann Bateman - another much newer option that starts with Leroux's story but then moves on to developing an E/M plot afterward. There are only two books in this series so far, but there may be more in the future!
Night's Melody by Drake LaMarque is an erotica that features a gender-flipped Meg named Mathieu as its main character, who is very into Christine/Christophe even before the mysterious masked man gets sexily involved (amusingly, you'd think that the infamous Unmasqued by Colette Gale would have something with all the orgies and BDSM, but while the older Giry is definitely up to sexy shenanigans, her daughter doesn't feature as prominently).
Honorable mentions:
Love Never Dies - Yes, they don't get together, but this is an example of Meg being heavily in love with the Phantom and that having a sharp effect on the plot.
The Phantom of the Opera (1990 David Staller musical) - While not in most of the plot, this musical ends with the Phantom giving up on the rescued Christine and deciding to start mentoring a young ballet dancer instead, which a lot of E/M shippers see as a call out to Meg.
In addition, there are also a LOT of books that use the Phantom story but have him target a ballerina instead of a singer; usually, the ballerina is just Christine (probably because Sarah Brightman is a ballet dancer, so the Lloyd Webber musical made Christine one, too), but some of them are ambiguous and might scratch that itch! Off the top of my head:
The Ballet of Dr. Caligari and Madder Mysteries by Reggie Oliver - this is a short story collection, but the title story is about a man who, when his ballet dancer obsession can no longer perform, becomes more and more dangerously obsessed with getting her back onstage no matter what the cost.
The Cursed Ballet by Megan Atwood - a dancer at a ballet academy is deetermined to excel in the so-called "cursed show", but the mysterious dancer boy who she meets at night seems to have something to do with it.
A Dance with Danger by Marisa Wright - a mainstream romance novel featuring a ballet dancer who loses his legs but falls in love with another ballet dancer and decides to help her.
Night Child by Ann Majors - another mainstream romance novel featuring a ballerina who was kidnapped as a child and the man who has been protecting her for her entire life.
There are definitely more, so folks who have read them, feel free to chime in down in the replies and tags!
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livums · 11 months
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{Character Introduction} Sonea Tawn
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Second in age, third in height, Sonea’s relationship with her sisters has always been fraught. No member of her family was spared the heartache of dealing with her. Her late mother never treated her with much affection—especially compared to her younger sister, Zova. After her mother’s passing, she felt closest to her baby sister, but frequently clashed with her father and her older sister, Sylah. Both sought to control her, she felt, and neither could be trusted.
Witnessing her mother’s decline in health in tandem with the woman’s desperation to keep Sylas around, Sonea’s opinion of her father was thusly poisoned. He was callous, she saw. He did not care about those who should be closest to him. To protect herself, Sonea could care nothing for him either.
Well. That’s what she told herself.
After becoming afflicted with an ability far too powerful to be healthy, Sonea found the ultimate safety in prioritizing herself above all others. Her father, beginning to fear what she had become, sought throughout her childhood to tame her inclinations. But he could only do so much.
Yet, for a while, Sonea was happy to play the part of vampire hunter (even if it almost killed her every now and then). She was happy to learn, happy to triumph over her quarry, happy to find an acceptable outlet for her burgeoning power. For a time. Fighting with Sylah, fighting with Father, fighting with Zova about fighting with Sylah and Father—little time passed in Sonea’s life without some sort of contention.
When Zova declared her intention to go off to attend University, Sonea was uniquely destabilized. Living alone with Sylah and Father, without the sweet and easy buffer of her baby sister, Sonea was naturally driven away. Worst of all, drawn into the insidious arms of a vampire mastermind. For three long years, she did her best to hide herself away from her family, in city after sprawling city, drowning herself in the life of a vampire’s pet.
It worked too well. The long-lost daughter returns to Mont Estival with more than sour feelings trailing in her wake. Plans years in the making are coming to bear, with Sonea as the tortured and unwilling catalyst…
But, hell, she came back, didn’t she?
And in between altercations with Sylah, the disappointment in Zova’s eyes, and the stomach-churning agony of unspoken feelings for Maja, her longtime fling… Sonea can almost believe that it was worth it.
TESTIMONIALS
Instead, with a click of her tongue, Sylah brushed past her sister and ascended the short abbey steps. “You look like shit,” was all she said. - Sylah Renora, sister
She knew that Sonea had been brought up hunter-trained, and the likelihood of her being in any real danger was slim. Yet, she could not abandon the premise of worry, for the only remaining option then was the anger. - Zova Tawn, sister
“Sonea, I don’t know why you do anything,” Sylah said. “No one does.” - Sylah, again.
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Taglist (ask, reply, or DM to be added or removed) - @violets-in-her-arms-writes​ @thewardenofwinter​ @wip-nook​
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st-clements-steps · 2 years
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Asha, Qarl and the consent quandaries in asoiaf
Which canon romantic (and/or sexual) relationships are you comfortable with when you read asoiaf? Which ones are you uncomfortable with? Why?
What about the sexual encounters GRRM describes, which ones seem consensual? Which ones don’t?
Every reader is going to answer this slightly differently, we each bring our own baggage around consent and romance and sex to the page when we read anything. Asha and Qarl, who we see in close up for a few pages of Dance, offer an interesting lens through which to view consent in asoiaf. [this discusses non-consent below the line]
Here are two adults in their twenties, caught in the midst of a war that is not going in their favour. We know already that Qarl stands with Asha when she makes her claim for the Seastone Chair in Feast. Clearly we assume, since she is his captain and he is her ally, there is some kind accord between them and yet:
Qarl followed her up to Galbart Glover's bedchamber. "Get out," she told him. "I want to be alone."
"What you want is me." He tried to kiss her.
What is this? We ask ourselves, Asha after all, is not some confused teenage queen, apparently caught between grief and her burgeoning sexuality, and the unwanted advances of someone on who she relies; she is not a thirteen year old girl being groomed by her only protector; she is not a confused fifteen year old boy, desperate to maintain the lie he feels is his duty.
It continues:
One quick slash unlaced her jerkin. Asha reached for her axe, but Qarl dropped his knife and caught her wrist, twisting back her arm until the weapon fell from her fingers. He pushed her back onto Glover's bed, kissed her hard, and tore off her tunic to let her breasts spill out. When she tried to knee him in the groin, he twisted away and forced her legs apart with his knees. "I'll have you now."
"Do it," she spat, "and I'll kill you in your sleep."
But then:
She was sopping wet when he entered her. "Damn you," she said. "Damn you damn you damn you." He sucked her nipples till she cried out half in pain and half in pleasure. Her cunt became the world. She forgot Moat Cailin and Ramsay Bolton and his little piece of skin, forgot the kingsmoot, forgot her failure, forgot her exile and her enemies and her husband. Only his hands mattered, only his mouth, only his arms around her, his cock inside her. He fucked her till she screamed, and then again until she wept, before he finally spent his seed inside her womb.
Hang on? What? GRRM requires us as readers to immediately retcon* what appeared to be a rape as a game, a non-consent role-play. At no point did we get any sense that Asha is thinking Yes, I love this or even Oh this again, thank the drowned God Qarl is such a good fuck, otherwise I wouldn’t put up with this nonsense. No, he forces her legs apart and we get no sense that this combat is thrilling to her until the very last minute.
Afterwards Asha does muse on him, she muses on their first meeting, she muses on all his good points, and it is a long list, at the end of it, the reader is surely half in love with Qarl themselves; A shy smile, strong arms, clever fingers, and two sure swords. What more could any woman want? She would have married Qarl, and gladly, but she was Lord Balon's daughter and he was common-born, the grandson of a thrall. She concludes before she initiates further sex. “My sweet queen.” Qarl calls her after, he himself as soft and sweet as anything, despite his brutality earlier in the chapter.
We shrug and swallow it, she is sexy and he is sweet, as sexual encounters go in this world, this one falls closer to alluring and adorable than most.
What are we to do then with all the times the characters themselves retcon the coercion, the force, the fear and reconcile themselves to an idea that their admirers(abusers?) are alluring and adorable? What are we to do with Dany’s somersault from forced bride to loving careful wife? What are we to do with Sansa misremembered moment with Sandor Clegane, switched from too frightened to defy him to nodding to responding to Myranda’s talk of the marriage bed with thoughts of how he'd kissed her? 
And this happens again and again with initial sexual experiences in asoiaf, even the ones off the page; is there is something amiss with Robb’s encounter with Jeyne Westerling possibly, him delirious on grief and pain (and more, we wonder)? Meanwhile Theon’s careless use of the captain’s daughter, turns out to mirror the advantage that was taken of him when he was an inexperienced thirteen year old. What’s more Asha sexually assaults Theon whilst pretending to be someone else, directly after we’ve heard the captain’s daughter try to cling to some idea of her encounters with Theon as alluring.  As readers we’re caught in some uncanny Russian doll of non-consent with Theon, here he is abusing someone, open it again and we’ll find the situation reversed, then just as we think we know what to expect, Theon as victim, Ramsay’s instructing him on what to do with Jeyne. It’s a desperate spiral.
Tyrion’s experience with Tysha, turns the trope on its head in a different way, he has been forced (though he does not acknowledge this, readers, with their greater objectivity can see it) to retcon what he thought was love as non-consensual (a paid for sham cannot be consented to). This story is framed by the (apparently faked) attempted rape at the beginning and the (initially unacknowledged) multiple rape at the end which Tyrion is forced to witness then take part in. The whole of Tyrion’s story of first love and sexual awakening is bound then in non-consent, (and untruths) over and over. Later, of course, Jaime will unbind it, just a little, reframe Tyrion’s experience with Tysha as genuine, and what are we to do then? The story has become a hall of mirrors where nothing can quite be trusted. How are we to judge consent through this skewed prism? How are we even to judge truth? It is, after all, all just a story.
We read all this with the weight of our own burdens on our shoulders, free to judge these situations however suits us. We can lower our expectations of these characters, how can they be expected to judge the consent of others when their lack of consent has gone unacknowledged? We can raise our expectations, surely they should each be able to empathise with those whose consent has been disregarded? We can loathe characters or excuse them, whichever feels best for us, but whatever we feel for them, we must remember that in canon they are GRRM’s puppets, they explore the themes that he chooses. Surely, if we want to read with care we must see that GRRM must write with the weight of his own burdens and what he writes spins around this very theme so often. Why does this non-consent happen so often in asoiaf? Often as readers we want these parallels to be a roadmap to the future but what if they are simply an exploration of the author’s own concerns? For whatever reason in asoiaf this non-consensual start to things, akin to Qarl’s pushing of Asha onto the bed, is often spun into something more complicated, more felt, more tinged with the love Asha almost voices. Why is this theme repeated so often in asoiaf?
Why doesn’t GRRM let us in earlier on the game Asha and Qarl are playing? Are they playing a game at all? They are fictional after all; if it is actually forced does it matter? Perhaps her switch to enjoyment is intended to be arousing for the reader? Perhaps it is intended to make us feel uncomfortable? Perhaps we will always, in a world delineated by class and power, as modern readers feel uncomfortable about the sexual encounters that take place? Perhaps in a world where everything is a game, where fear and force rule, where misinformation is king, consent becomes impossible?
*am I misusing retcon here? Possibly. I mean that uncanny double take we are forced to do when the story shifts suddenly and also the way characters are unreliable about their own feelings, when they attempt to shift situations which are clearly problematic to something more palatable. I think retcon works in this context.
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jaggedwolf · 4 months
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2. Share your thoughts about Beau
Beau thoughts! Always Beau thoughts hour over here. Can you believe there are still Beau thoughts I haven't yelled at you yet? What a gal.
Don't think Beau cares much for fiction. She's canonically not much of a reader before the campaign, and once she gets into it she cares way more about the world's secrets and connections than a story. An adept, instinctive liar, it's warped truths that are her jam. She would've cared even less than we did about that long-ass cat story Caleb told Jester, except maybe as a lens through which to psychoanalyze Caleb, and I doubt she's one to go see a theatre show of her own accord. She'll dramatically read out lines from Jester's smut books though, she finds that funny. Her accidental ownership of Courting of the Crick (Jester bought it for Caleb, who didn't want it and gave it to Beau) is 50% because it was banned in the Empire, 30% lol Kryn smut, and 20% burgeoning history nerd
Beau is deeply embarrassed by how much the single incident of the monk kidnapping got to her. While I'm sure part of its lasting impact is the final parental rejection it signifies, exacerbated by the later letter she gets about TJ, I think a lot of it is the sheer helplessness of it. She had that young person's confidence in her own immortality and ability to get out of any scraps on her own merit, and gets hit by the one-two punch of needing her dad to bail her out of jail and then experienced parent-endorsed monk kidnapping which she could not escape due to a combination of emotional shock and plain physical inability. This seems quite pathetic to her, and is one of the reasons for sharded backstory strategy she employs. A Beau who left her parents of her own accord, heck, a Beau who got plain kicked out of home, would be a significantly different Beau at the start of the campaign.
Related: It was really really good for both Beau and the Nein as a whole that Beau was one of the rescuers in the Iron Shepards arc and not one of the rescued. You know how Fjord took it badly, having to be rescued at such a risk? I think Beau at that stage of the campaign would have taken it worse, in a more volatile way. Subtract the confidence boost of defeating Lorenzo's crew, add in a sense of debt of not carrying her own weight, oof, messy AU there.
IMO, the only worlds in which Beau's mom leaves Beau's dad are worlds in which Thoreau is societally condemned, which means I don't think of Clara as sooo much better than Thoreau. Only a little. I do think Beau is willing to give her way more grace because Thoreau did do worse shit, Beau has more of a complex about Thoreau, and Beau also just tends to give women more grace. (I don't think I'm making up that last bit lmao) So yeah, I can see a post-campaign Beau rebuilding her relationship with her mom or whatever, but I will be eternally judgy-eyed about the woman who sent her monk-kidnapped daughter a letter saying the Lionetts had been "granted their greatest wish and had a son". It is not a Thoreau move to tell Clara to send that letter.
Scrolling through the wiki about post-campaign canon, and while I abstractly respect all this "the Mighty Nein see each other regularly!" and "Beau has a good work-life balance" stuff...my favorite take on a post-campaign Beau will always be one who dives in full speed with Caleb into taking down the Cerberus Assembly, each of them barely pulling the other back from burnout, literal or metaphorical. An obsession that leaves them neglecting the others and themselves, yes.
I still think it would so funny for Beau to have a one-night stand with Astrid after the campaign (only once Trent's trial is complete ofc, what a professional) and then go oh shit...bro code.. Visits Caleb and go yo I slept with Astrid sorry if that wasn't cool and Caleb's immediate reaction is "are you sorry because she's my ex or because she's part of the Cerberus Assembly??" And then he goes, actually no, we will never speak of this again, because he's scared Beau will go into detail. (Beau wouldn't, Beau would only go into detail about hypothetical sex acts in front of Caleb, because it would scandalize him without revealing anything about herself, the perfect Beau troll bit.)
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thatbanditqueen · 1 year
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Here to leave my review on the long awaited Chapter 3 (its okay we forgive you) -
FIRST OF ALL, Ida and Saul are my spirit animals and favorite characters seriously. They so help in keeping the story light hearted and comedic even when Elvis is making me wanna slap him on behalf of Becky! It was relatable and hilarious when Saul was the last one to find out who Elvis was the men in my family are exactly the same. Ida is Captain of the Becky Butt x Elvis ship please she was all for her niece getting some under her roof, we love a supportive queen. And Elvis is a ridiculously charming man - but ridiculous nonetheless. Poor Jerry having to drive them down there, look for a nonexistent lost ring and then give up his comfort all so Elvis could get some. And Becky Butt, baby, my heart is breaking for you already because yes I want them to be happy but I can only imagine how much heartache is to come before Elvis opens his damn eyes!!! That man can be so stubborn. Also, the conversation they had, the way Elvis is always trying to deflect and distract and go on the offensive it gave me Anita phone call vibes 101 I lived for it. Elvis winning over Ruth so quickly, why am I not surprised? The man is a child himself. But with time I know he’s gonna be the best step daddy. Ruth picking up the Becky Butt moniker - LMAO. That names gonna stick and I’m 100% for it. Becky’s such a good mom, always putting her daughter first and making sure she’s comfortable/okay. She’s got a child streak in her that I think pulls Elvis in because he does as well but she has a maturity he never mastered in my opinion due to everyone in his life bending to his every whim. And can I please tell you how grateful that I am that you really lean in to the gorgeous physicality that was Big Daddy. Talking about his stomach, about his largeness, all of it, so many fics hardly allude to it meanwhile I want to suffocate underneath that man. Becky is living my dream. Thanks for updating, what a delightful read it was 💗
Dear Bri,
Thanks for taking the time to write this, it is so very reaffirming to hear what you think! Ida and Saul are so fun to write, I can hear their voices in my head, they are sort of a composite of different family members/friends i grew up with. For some reason, a lot of older women in my life, including my grandmother, were absolute sex instigators. My granny once told me, with all seriousness, that all i needed to do to solve a relationship issue with my partner at the time was just to have sex and forget about the whole fight.... hahaha. SO, yes, Becky may have gotten knocked up young, but she has never been as carefree or in tune with her sensuality as Ida, and Ida wants to really make that happen for her :) I don't know, I could just see Elvis pulling something like this with Jerry, I see it as part of his ego/inferiority duality, like he's somewhat drunk the koolaid that he's some sort of really cool rock star, but also, if he was really confident, he'd just tell people what was really going on, ughh, he was such a cute, clueless dork/ total dick in so many delectable ways, I really enjoy playing with him and writing this fic. And I love love LOVE BDE's physicality, though I will be the first to admit that @eliseinmemphis's posts about worshiping big daddy elvis were fundamental to my own burgeoning fixation with this era Elvis. I need him to crush me. I need to play with his tummy and the waddle under his jowls. Becky is all of us.... and I think her earthy, latent sensual earth mother nature finds BDE attractive and is drawn to him both as a lover, and as wounded boy she wants to nurture.... or will be moreso when/if he gets his head out of his ass and gets over himself enough.
Thanks again for taking the time to give me this feedback!!!! I know it was hard to wait for this chapter, although, in my defense, the wait between ch 1 and ch 2 was a lot longer, life is a little more settled and i think it shouldn't be more than two weeks or so until I post ch 4. I already have somewhat of an outline/set of ideas. But I hate giving a date, because I always seem to miss any deadline I set for myself, and then I publish as soon as I finish, when I really should let things sit and do a proper proofreading job. But don't be afraid to give me a nudge, I've finished chapters because someone asked for it and it motivates me.
all my love,
norAHHHH
v me seeing your message :)
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incorrectthots · 2 years
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No one asked but here's my top favorite fics, not in order so :> enjoy i might add onto the list later on so stay tuned 💛
A Wonderful Waste of Time by ipomea
136K E rated Death Stranding Sam Porter Bridges/Higgs Monaghan
Enemies to friends to lovers, roommates, developing relationship, personal growth
"Nearly three years after Higgs' condemnation to the Beach, he finds himself powerless and returned to the world of the living. He retreats to the only home he's ever known—only to discover Sam and his surrogate daughter. For the first time, Higgs will have to learn to live with people and manage his burgeoning feelings for Sam, all while trying to stay out of the UCA's grasp."
Air Conditioning by Astronaut-in-Space
4.5K E rated Major Character death The Matrix Thomas "Neo" Anderson/Agent Smith
Chinese simplified Alternative Universe, Game:the white door (rusty lake), prostitute neo
"Rehabilitation patient Smith / male prostitute Neo "I'm afraid forgetting is the best antidote."
Climbing by astolat
1K E rated Batman Begins Bruce Wayne/Henri Ducard
Previously posted on livejournal
"I had a wife," Ducard said. "She was taken from me."
My Lover and My Friend by Picture_Yourself
7.7K M rated The sandman (comics)/(TV 2022) Dream of the endless/Hob Gadling
Anxiety, overthinking, panic attacks, Morpheus needs therapy, cuddling & snuggling
"It's nighttime and Hob is asleep. But the King of Dreams doesn't sleep. Left alone with his thoughts in the aftermath of his first time with his new lover and the recent trauma of his imprisonment, his thoughts begin to spiral which calls for an intervention of his siblings. Although not one he might wish for. A relatively self-contained sequel/epilogue to I'm Morpheus, Please Dance With Me."
Your heart is a muscle the size of your fist by citrus_boots 11K M rated Fight club Tyler Durden/narrator
Mental institutions, fighting as a metaphor for gay sex, implied/referenced terrorism, self-harm, domestic fluff, this is the healthiest they get
"My brain is still full of him, even if he’s gone. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like he’s gone. Sometimes it feels like there’s a leather jacket and a bruised face just out of my line of sight. Sometimes I wish there was."
Hyperion Ranch by Sinesthero 8.5K E rated Borderlands(video games) Timothy Lawrence/Wilhelm
Pinning, eventual smut, 1930s ranch AU, sexual situations, death mention, shenanigans
"Young Timothy Lawrence is left to run Hyperion Ranch for the spring and summer while its owner, Handsome Jack, is off with his circus. On impulse, he hires the burly Wilhelm to work for him. Now he can't get the much older man out of his mind."
I tore off the golden branch by catmanu
8.1k+ E rated Major Character Death Men's football RPF Luka Modrić/Ivan Rakitić
Alternate universe- magical realism, alternate universe- No girlfriends/no wives, character death, underworld, angst and feels, Rakidrić- freeform, Translation available
"Luka dies in a tragic accident. Ivan would do anything, go anywhere, to have him back. And so would Luka."
Entre Nous (between us) by Greenlikethesky
11k M rated Formula 1 RPF Alain Prost/Ayrton Senna
Angst, unhappy ending
"Alain and Ayrton from 1988 to 1989; hate and love and everything in between"
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zorilleerrant · 9 months
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so in my heart I believe that in every universe Lois and Clark will always be important to each other. they're not always dating or anything! sometimes they might be villains and hate each other. sometimes it might just be a chance encounter where one saved the other's life, or even they just take advice from each other's columns. but sometimes they're siblings.
my idea is that there was some catastrophic event some years after Clark was adopted, an alien invasion or some such, and in the aftermath of that baby Clark tried to use his burgeoning powers to help with cleanup. they find this little abandoned baby, just like Clark, so they hide her in case the attacking aliens are trying to get her or something like that. Lois is too young to know anything about it or communicate to the Kents.
but looking around, they eventually find the car wreck she came from, where clearly someone else trying to help had moved her into a field away from all the fumes in the highway and intended to go back, but the Kents came along first. they find things like a blanket embroidered with the name Lois, but they don't have any information or anything like that. and they've already gotten attached, so they go through regular channels this time to adopt her. which does involve hiding their paper trail better for what happened with Clark.
so they turn to Lionel this time too, except they end up much closer with his family instead of him trying to manipulate them, they're just protecting each other's secrets and things. Lex grows up being close friends with Clark, enough that Clark admits that he's an alien early on and Lex becomes one of his closest confidantes. as he grows up, he slowly realizes that his dad is doing really questionable things and breaks from the company, forming his own based on his world-changing invention: a cloning pod, to make babies without anyone having to be pregnant. a technology he designed so that he and Clark, who recently fell in love, could have a baby together. and so Kon is born, raised by both his parents.
now, Jon doesn't exist, but John does, Lois's son named after his father, John Henry Irons. they fell in love at college, broke up, met other people, and then met again at a time when the relationship could be what they both wanted it to be. so they get married and have a few kids (several, because Lois has a great relationship with her brother and so wanted more kids). and then, instead of meeting their daughter, who just grew up with her mom and dad and no apocalypses (just her uncle, whom she trusts)... Lois runs into her biological sister. it's awkward, but she wants to get to know the family who thought she was dead, and everyone in her life supports her, it's just tough going, what with half of them being superheroes.
anyway one day they run into alternate universe versions of themselves and Clark and Lois are married and this Clark and Lois are like ew no why??? and there are hilarious misunderstandings
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