i cant decide if i should laugh or cry his antics at this point...
jokes aside, i can only cry now....
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the way mika took her step with shima knowing she'd be rejected but it *has* actually let her move on. she still has some conflicted feelings but she sees the way the wind is blowing and does wish both mitsumi and shima well.
and the way that sometimes having people outside of your typical friend circle lets you be open in a different way. her friendship with nao-chan has helped her self-confidence just as much as her friendship with her peers, just in a different way.
but also like, she was able to speak to nao-chan about all this *not caring that mukai was there*. the fact that she's admitting this stuff not caring he's there is so huge on her part because she's spent so long trying to appeal to everyone in her age group and "fit in" but she's finally letting herself move past that. she always wanted a romantic relationship because she wanted a relationship in which she was seen and accepted for herself (and she didn't think those those two conditions were compatible due to her low self-esteem). and because of that she wasn't actually in the position to have a healthy romance. but now she's no longer actively seeking that acceptance if she does now start dating someone it won't be *for* the acceptance but because she wants to be in the relationship and likes the other person. but nao-chan still gives her that reassurance she will "definitely find someone" because she knows enough to know they're alike in that aspect.
and mika's so relieved too the entire time she's sharing this. mukai actively calls her hyper and obviously he doesn't have the full context but even he knows this is rare for her.
it's a relief for her to let go.
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Twst spoilers
With the update, it easy to understand why Lilia took in Silver despite knowing the truth about him when you realize he probably reminded Lilia of Malleus.
Like Malleus, the boy not only lost his parents as baby and result of war, but he spent hundreds of years crying all alone. And like Malleus, he needed love to “awaken” but never got it from anyone (till Lilia came along). The difference is that no one was there to snatch the baby from Lilia’s arm and thus he was able to give the boy all his love.
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“i protect my investments” is not a romantic line. it is not on par with “maybe i liked your stupid face” or “meeting you was a disaster” in the sense that the larger context makes it affectionate and sweet. it is not a romantic line.
inej literally spends the first half of crooked kingdom fully believing that, if she were injured and no longer served any use to kaz, he wouldn’t rescue her. that, absent her skills, he’d let her die. you can’t tell me that belief isn’t firmly tethered to the fact that he has, multiple times in the previous book, referred to her only in the terms of her usefulness to him. she has spent the last two years of her life being bought and sold like a piece of property, like an investment. kaz insisting he’ll protect her because of that isn’t fucking romantic.
the duology has so many kanej crumbs. that line is not one of them.
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cuz when we went to the river to play today there was a cat like yours at the bottom.
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deon in intkot c1: kyaaaa~! i'm a human, but i'm a commander in the demon king's army?? i need to make sure they don't realise i'm just a weakling >_<
deon in intkot c161: i am alone in the world and have destroyed all the people who loved me unconditionally. i am a pawn in the games of those more powerful than me. i force myself to keep living for revenge and enact the cycle of violence on others because that's the only thing i know.
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