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shuxiii · 10 months

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Zealous jealous— Kang haerin x reader x Hanni (subtle)

Synopsis: you confessed what you’ve felt for her but it seemed like she didn’t feel the same? But that all changed when she saw you in another persons arms.

Requested: anon

You were pretty sure from the moment you caught a glimpse of her, she was going to be stuck in your mind for the rest of your nights.

It didn't help that she was only a room away—it didn't help that you were madly in love with your own member.

It just happened, love was unpredictable sometimes unimaginable. You wont know what hit you is the perfect metaphor you could explain what it felt.

She was just the right person you want to love, she fit exactly your hopeless romance daydreams.

She was nice, from her expression to her acts; she was an angel in disguise to you. Her smile was bright and warm, albeit clichéd. Her giggle was so contagious and endearing that you couldn't help but laugh along with her.

Love really does change people, whether for the better or for the worst.

You could say you and haerin were inseparable, you both were close since since debut. And that bond was the knot that led you to see her more than just a friend.

And no matter how close you two are, some people only adore from afar; you wanted that, but how can you admire from afar when she's only a foot away?

You sit just beside each other, even then sleep beside each other, eat together, watch together.

How exactly can you admire from afar if shes so near?

But even then, you tried to hide it anyway. You didnt have the courage to do so and even jeopardise such friendship, you never want to make things awkward for any of your members.

Yet, a heart get what it wants.

It was a little loud in the dorm, everyone gathered in a circle playing a game of truth or dare.

“C’mon Unnie! This isnt fair, that dare is way too mean!” Hyein complained.

“A dare is a dare hye, you must do it!” minji laughed loudly, clutching her stomach.

Hyein whined in annoyance, shooting glares at Minji. Because She was dared to eat a stick of celery.

As they kept arguing, the other two girls tried to stop the two from starting a brawl, while haerin just laughed at the scene that behold infront of her.

while she was distracted laughing you were taking a few glances at her, you cant help but hold back your smile not to make it too obvious.

Hanni had to tap my arms to gain my attention since I was too engrossed in my helpless daydream.

“Hey yn?” She says “you there”

I look back at everyone, as all their stares were now focus on me, making me embrassed.

“Yeah sorry, just a little distracted” I awkwardly laugh.

“Well then truth or dare!” Hyein, smirked “its your turn to pick now.”

I decided to pick truth, because i know how mischievous hyein is when it comes to these.

And as if she read my mind, she immediately said,

“Who do you like?”

I nervously scratched my nape, acting unconcerned, but my heart was pounding as I felt her stare.

“That’s a silly question, of course i dont like anyone,” i say.

“C’mon its so obvious,” She says “You like—“

“Okay, thats enough” Hanni laughs “Dont pressure yn like that, i want it to be my turn now!”

You mentally reminded yourself to give every bread hanni wants.

You give a light pat to the back on hanni, thanking her. She looks back at you smiling a little.

And despite after avoiding a close one, for some reason her gaze never left you, and that made you nervous you knew she liked to stare at people but this one felt different it felt like you were trap in by her eyes.

After playing a couple of more everyone has started to retreat back to their rooms, after hearing hyein yawn signalled that it was time for bed.

But you decided to stay in the living room to clean up the mess that were scattered.

You assumed everyone already went back to their rooms but that didnt seem to be the case, after everyone was gone you were left alone in the living room.

Thats until you heard faint footsteps from behind.

“Yn,” a familiar voice call out to you.

You look back to see the same eyes you’ve grown to love each day.

You felt yourself slightly blush, and you didnt know why.

“Oh, rin?” You say “why are you still here, shouldnt you be asleep?”

She didnt respond, she gazes back at you with an unreadable expression. And that made you anxious.

“Is there something wrong?” You ask again.

“Who do you like?”

You felt your body tense as it felt like a lump got stuck on your throat, you try to hide it.

“Haha, I dont like anyone” you try to play it off “seriously, dont believe hyein she just loves to mess around.”

She didnt seem to be convinced at your answer.

“Do you like hanni?” She ignores what you say.

“What no!” You tell her “like i said i dont like anyone.”

You despised lying, particularly to her. However, it seemed to be a better option than saying the truth.

“Why does Hanni know and i dont?” She continues “You guys seemed to have gotten closer—even closer than we are now.”

It was inevitable; you knew she'd figure it out eventually and the stalling would no longer work.

“It’s complicated, rin…”

“What is complicated about liking someone and telling me?” She says “do you not trust me enough?”

“Its not like that!” I stammer, “You wouldn’t want to know, trust me.”

I felt my heart take its pace, and the it wasnt the good type, it felt like it would drop any moment and theres nothing to catch it.

I could see her frown in the corner of my eyes as I avoided her gaze and focused on the polished floor.

“Why wont I want to know who you like, yn?” She says “You’re my best friend, of course I want to know everything about you.”

Of course that word “best friend” that’s all she ever sees me as a friend not a lover, not someone she wants to talk with about everything single detail of her life, not someone she greets in the morning, not someone she sees more than just a friend.

“Rin…” I mumble.

“I just dont get it, why wont I want to know?”

“It’s because, you’re the one I like,” i say with a shake in my voice, still avoiding her gaze.

And for once, the silence between us was different; it wasn't comfortable, it didn't seem like the silence we'd share whenever we were together—it felt deafening, yet too quiet for you, you wanted her to say something but it seemed like all she could give you was nothing.

“Yn…” the sympathy in her voice, made me hate it more, she was too kind.

“Yn, look at me,” she says.

I didnt want to look at her becuase i knew the moment i did, the answer would be there—one gaze was enough to be the answer.

“Please…” she pleaded.

It felt impossible, but i did anyway. And just like that, her eyes revealed the answers, and it hurt—it wasn't the eyes of someone ready to love me, it was the eyes of someone ready to tell me the things I don't want to hear but are the only thing I'll get.

“I’m sorry.”

Two words. Two words was all it took.

It was the first two words, but the last. And everything altered radically from the way it was.

Every since that you tried to be more normal around her, but it was harder than you expected—it felt force for you, you couldnt forget about her properly, you decided to find a better distraction—a diversion away from her.

And Hanni has been there for you ever since; when she spotted you crying in your room, she was there. She was always there for you when you needed her.

you’ve grown more fonder with her and lost more familiarity with haerin, but that was for the best wasnt it?

It had been two weeks since you'd drifted apart from Haerin and further into the arms of Hanni's company; it's not that you weren't sad, but for the time being you kept a barrier between yourselves because you were frightened to be hopeful.

Haerin didn't seem bothered by it; she understood why you were avoiding her, but it would be a lie to say it didn't pain her any less.

You avoided her from seating beside each other, even standing just beside her—even hold a long conversation or have the ounce of courage to look her in the eye.

And that hurt her even more, but she tried to understand.

But her intuition were right, you’ve grown fonder with Hanni ever since the talk. It looked more like you guys were a couple than as friends, and she had this irritating feeling whenever she saw you guys.

Hanni would always cling to your arms, like someone would separate you from her. You used to do that with her, before.

Its like ever since you both stopped talking, Hanni became more closer, far too close for Haerin’s liking.

She didnt understand why she hated it.

And today was no exception; Hanni was clinging to you like glue. But this time the frustration feeling grew—the more she repressed everything she felt, the more clear it became.

She hated to admit it, but ever since she lost you, she began to love you.

The motto that goes, “you know its love when its too late”

Thats what Haerin felt at that moment. And it didnt help her case at all especially with hanni holding you within her arms—that should be her, she thought.

You were gathered in the living room, as usual, watching a horror movie, which Haerin knew you disliked, but Minji was eager to see the new conjuring movie. And knowing you, you never had the heart to say no.

And at this type of situation, Haerin was ready to hold you and give you solace but instead hanni took her spot and all she could do was stare as she puts her arms around you, smiling like an idiot. Haerin wasnt insulting Hanni at all, Hanni indeed looked like she was smiling a little too much.

She hated that.

She hated the fact that she was feeling what she shouldnt, she didnt deserve to feel this but in the end she does.

Did you move on already? Have you stopped looking at her like she makes the stars glow at night? Have you seen someone better than her?

The thoughts was enough to drive someone insane, and that made her more frustrated.

She didnt get it, she cant understand why she felt like this.

She looks at you, as you laid your head against Hanni’s shoulder, like you didnt do that with her before.

She wasnt mad, no. She was fiery of jealousy.

I mean who wouldnt? To see someone else doing the things you guys used to do.

Haerin was no longer interested in the movie since she was fixated on you. Her entire attention was completely on you.

And when the scary scenes came, her heart ached even more, as you reciprocated Hanni’s embrace.

She just couldnt take her eyes off you, she could remember each detail of your face like the back of her hands.

And before she knew it the movie ended and it was time to go to bed.

But she couldn’t sleep if it ended like this.

Everyone was already sound asleep, it was one in the morning.

You were awoken from thirst so you decided to get a cup of water in the kitchen.

With tired footsteps you carry the weight of your drowsiness to the sink.

As you leaned against the counter you lazily drank, letting your guard down.

And suddenly out of nowhere you felt arms wrap around you, someone was hugging you from the back.

You squeal, as you try to look back to see who it was but something stopped you from doing so.

“Yn,” a whisper, as you felt her lean her head against your back.

It was haerin.

“Rin?” You recoginized the voice right away, like a muscle memory.

You felt her relax, she missed hearing her name off your lips.

“hi,” she says.

“hello?” You reply “What are you doing?”

There was a silent pause, and it made you worried.

You try to face her but she stops you.

“Don’t move, dont turn around” she mumbles “please, I dont want to see you yet.”

And you agreed in silence.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“No,” she says.

There was again a pause, you felt her warp her arms even tighter.

“I miss you.”

You felt the beat of your heart grow faster, but it ached as you recalled the past.

“Rin, you cant do this,” you frowned “this isnt fair.”

“I do miss you.”

“But it isnt fair, you cant do this to me.” You felt your voice quiver “You cant…”

“Yn—“

“you’ll just make it hard for me” you cut her off.

And even if you wanted to take her embrace off, you felt her tighten it even more.

“I love you, Yn.”

You thought you were hearing things but she said it again,

“I love you,” she says it a little louder.

You felt your body tense, hearing such words from her? Was this a dream?

“Are you messing with me right now?” You say “its not funny haerin.”

“Seeing you with Hanni, made me realise many things.”

“I was a coward, Yn.” She mumurs “I was afraid—afraid for such change, i was scared that if things change, I’ll lose you eventually.”

“And i dont want that, I cant bare to lose you.”

change was a complicated word, it could mean good or bad, haerin thought it was a hard and a big step thing to do, because how much she tried to hold onto something, it’ll never stay. Sometimes she wished things were different, she always ended with a “maybe” or “what if”

She was terrified of change because she had become accustomed to the way things were; it was a part of her everyday. And for such an alteration to occur, she was hesitant to take such a risk.

“Rin, why didn’t you tell me?”

You tried to face her but she didnt budge at all.

“Dont turn around yet.”

“I was just scared, if i told you—you’d wait and understand and i didnt want that, i thought it’d be too much of a burden for you.”

“You’ll never be a burden to me,” you say “even if you put bricks on my back, I’ll carry it.”

You felt her smile against your back as she holds back her laugh.

“You’re so corny.” She tells you “but that’s why I like you.”

“Do you really mean it?” You pause “do you mean everything you say?”

“I do, yn. Im just afraid but yet i was so happy when you said you liked me too, i wanted nothing but for you to feel the same.” She tells you “but i was just hesitant, i didnt want things to change, i had so much in my mind.”

“What if you fall out of love for me? And I’ll lose you both as a friend and as someone i love, its scary to evem think of it.”

You felt her fiddle with the hem of your shirt as she hugged you, like she always did when she was worried, so you held her hands intertwined with yours.

“Rin, you know, you’ll never lose me as a friend,” you gaze down at your hands interwinted at hers “you’re already a part of my life, and i dont want nothing else but for you to always be in my life, regardless of anything.”

You felt her hug loosen and then you felt something wet hit your back.

You finally got to look at her, and as you did—you saw her eyes glisten as tears were cascading down her cheeks.

And when she finally looked at your eyes, the answers were clear to her—maybe change was a good thing.

They say the more things change the more they stay the same.

Like the waves coming in on the beach, watch a fire. Watch the rain drops, river flowing, sunset, sunrise, everything's changing and nothing's changed.

The look you gave her was still the same, it was the same ones when they exactly met, it was adorning and shining.

She hugs you again startling you.

“Rin?” You laugh, feeling her arms wrap around you making you feel a little ticklish “are you okay?”

“Let’s stay like this for a while.”

#newjeans fanfic #newjeans #newjeans imagines #haerin x reader #hanni #kang haerin x reader

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ghost-rattan · 7 months

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Hello! I hope you're doing well! Can I please request romantic Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma (seperate) with an extremely intelligent and calculated SO (Male or gender neutral if possible pls) who looks like a cinnamon roll? Like, reader looks innocent and eccentric and easy to manipulate but that could not be further from the truth. Like reader could be playing chess with Fyodor and talking about some random nonsense, beats Fyodor at chess and just walks away like it's nothing. Also, reader LOOOVES flustering the characters because they're smart and know exactly which buttons to push to get the best results. TLDR; reader has ultimate IQ and ultimate rizz XD

S/o with high IQ (male reader)

OOO! I was so excited when I saw this ngl! Hope you like it!!!

Fyodor

He thought he could read you like a book

His sweet innocent boyfriend

He knew you where smart just didn't know that you where that smart!!

He first noticed when he was organizing a mission for one of his men

He was taking a break looking at his map with a marked out way to get in

"you know this way would be better"

he looked at you amused

"my, I seem to have missed that, what a cleaver boy you are~"

But the moment he really noticed it is when you where playing chess

he was going easy on you

"Wow! You might be handsome but you can't read the room can you"

"hmm, what do you mean mishka?"

"I can tell you are going easy on me pretty boy but I can assure you I can win with out your help"

"fine then"

you guys started again and while he was judging every move you made you where chatting to Nikolai about the circus thats coming to town

much too Fyodors surprise and annoyance you still won

"..."

"Oh! I win! But I think the acrobats will be the best! No clown can compare to you Nikoali~!"

He was so pissed off after that but he did learn not to underestimate you

After that he does play little games off wit with one another (thats how he flirts now)

Nikolai

"MY HUSBAND! You look so cute!" he tells you this everyday

"Oh My! What a complement coming from the man who is in the lead for most handsomest man ever!"

"My little cutie! I am in no need to be in any competition unless its one for your heart!"

He is a hardcore flirt so you both often have little flirt wars with each other

His pick up lines are horrible though well they are creative

while you can come up with pick up lines that always fit what you both are doing

Fyodor thinks you both are a good duo

Fyodor also likes you because when you and Nikolai attend a meeting you often have a long talk with Fyodor about a book you both where just reading (DOA book club when?)

You and Nikolai once went on a mission together and you both had to split up for a bit

when Nikolai got back to you the enemy had found you first and was trying to get you to back stab and betray Nikolai!

Nikolai hid to see what you would do

"Join me, we can take better care of you pretty boy, better than that stupid clown can~"

"really..?"

Nikolai felt his heart break

Before any thing could happen you looked at Nikolai and smiled

You honestly would have just punched the guy but you knew not to underestimate him as you knew nothing about him

so you came up with a plan by looking at your surroundings

you saw a fire extinguisher

you got up and ran to grab it

the man went to use his unknown ability

but you grabbed the extinguisher and threw it at Nikolai who used his ability to hit the man from behind leaving him on the ground dead from the blow

Sigma

(I love him sm)

He thinks he is the one who has to protect you

If he doesn't what type of boyfriend is he

The first time you visited the casino you wanted to play some of the games

he was going to rig all off them for you to be able to win

To his surprise you wanted to play black jack!

he was very surprised by how good your pokerface was

he was even more surprised by how easily you where able to win

He gets so flustered with your flirting

even before you guys started dating he would blush uncontrollably

Scared you would get manipulated by some one but once he saw a bunch of people trying to and you where able to be polite and tell them to fuck off

He often ask for your help with the casino

Honestly once he realised how smart you where he was kinda scared you would manipulate him (poor baby)

You often help new comers to the casino on how to play the games (he finds it so cute)

He wants you to teach him chess (he wants to beat fyodor)

IMAGINE THIS OK YOU VS FYODOR IN CHESS

You win and sigma just smirks in the back like that’s my boyfriend

#bungou stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd headcanons #bsd x reader #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #sigma x reader

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scarsmood · 1 year

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Repressing kintypes

Repression is the act of unconsciously pushing down unwanted thoughts, feelings or urges. It’s in the long term not exactly healthy and typically is a sign of a poor environment.

That’s to say when i first joined the therian community I was excited. In my childhood I suffered but in turn became extremely in touch with nature. My childhood nickname was “little deer” there was no question for me what I was it felt obvious. I was the forest guardian, I was the symbol of the forest, I was- a wolf? Wait what?

Well interesting thing about being a deer or a herbivore in general in the old therian community. Expect to get eaten. I didn’t want to get eaten or verbally abused. I was sick of the torment I got from it. So- I learned something. I’ll do what deer do and run. Right off from all these problems right into something stronger.

If I can’t be a deer i’ll be a ‘wolf’ were plural. We have ‘wolf’ alters so they can just front which means we are technically truthful. In turn our main personality cluster becomes dormant. To fit into the harsh categories pf something I felt I desperately needed at the time to save myself and survive everything else that was happening in my life.

I buried myself. I looked at myself knowingly and shot myself like a cabellas hunter and tossed the body in a ditch saying “i do feel bad but this is for the best” to turn around and roleplay as a wolf. Well to be honest it never felt right. Not for all of me at least. I felt forced to be fearsome while others took pride in it. I felt the urgency to do it to survive not because its fun.

In a room full of teeth why should I announce I have none? So playing along was my deepest urgency. This became so apparent it intertwined with who I was. I have to be scary. I have to show I am a carnivore. I have to show I am strong. Yet with every failure I spiraled. Depressed. Angry. I just want to be gentle thats my inherent nature. Virtuous. Strong but caring.

I don’t want to bite someone. I wanted to headbutt them. I didn’t want to eat raw meat it makes me sick. I wanna have veggies. But I can’t because not at that time. If I was a deer it was seemingly endless pestering. How would I introduce myself? I was to terrified to admit I was different.

I intertwined some characteristics pf my deepest parts of myself with being a deer. Cause I had been one for so long. I was always told I was gentle and caring. Soft and loving. People always said I have the body type of a deer long and slender. I was quiet like one. It was how i identified my feminity. I never minded being in a dress as a deer. It felt like a love letter to the flowers and grass I eat.

I was happy. But it had to go. Because when I got older these traits didn’t help me survive. So you draw the bow and let the arrow ring. When I came into therianthropy I was already partially repressing my deer traits. I didn’t understand why or what I was doing. I just did what it took to survive.

When I came across wolves and tried to pass off I was dual typed as deer and wolf the wolf was always accepted but the deer was always caught and questioned. So I stopped mentioning it. I was tired of being harassed.

Now the years have passed. The deer types come back. Stronger than before. Stronger than my carnivorous kintypes. I stand in awe with a feeling of being soaked in blood. That despite everything the original me is still here. That as a deer I weaved every obstacle and conflict. I ran when I needed to and hid until it was safe instead of dying I survived in the background.

Perhaps it’s feeling comfortable in the community. Maybe it’s feeling accepted. But I feel comfortable showing these sides now that aren’t so hard and edgy. Especially with this blog. I would have never imagined my voice would be listened to or ever considered.

My repressed kintypes are more feral i would say. They have a stronger urge to survive than even scar parasite kintype. Those parts of me feel stronger, tougher, more durable. They learned from the background and made choices to help us along without ever being seen.

Inside It feels painful. Having known now what all was missing it makes sense. I mourn for the time lost but at the same time understand how important those choices were. I wish I could have always been this way but that’s not the way of the this world.

I feel it’s probably more common to repress kintypes or parts of ourselves. It’s unfortunate how it happens. I was surprised to find how strong those parts are. Needless to say I won’t fuck with a deer.

#otherkin #therian #deerkin #cervidae #writing #essay #repression #repressed kintype

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 1 year

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Lilith In The First House: Raw Powerful Daemons, The Witches Of Society.

I want to start off with a little introduction to the story of lilith in her human form.

Lilith was a woman who lived naturally, in the forest with her children and amongst animals. She stayed true to her self and her aura would captivate the men of the city, who at the time were religious and created cults around said religion. Lilith was the woman who did not move like anyone else outside of the village , so this made her magnetic. She was being who she was and men seeing her out and about not connecting with the rest of society they would eventually find ways to where they could control lilith. Lilith being who she was she wouldn't back down, so they painted her the devil. They would taunt her, bully her, abuse her, and do nasty things to her until the great 'death' happen. She became EXACTLY who they made her out to me.

The Devil. Daemon. A spirit that reckons chaos in the world.

Now lilith wasn't always like this, she just had to transform because this scares off the men and the women who cant tame her. Who cant have her. Who have a problem with who she is and try to abuse her again and again.

Her full power came from the shadows of her psyche, and it boasted in full glory once she had enough.

So now, we get to Lilith in the first house. These beings literally could walk a mile in her shoes, because the journey that awaits them is a show that they will never forget.

You are a natural problem to society, because society has been programmed and brainwashed to believe that anyone who does anything outside of the religious doctrine is a serpent of the devil and must be tamed. You are the serpent, but you know waaaay more than what people think. Lilith first housers get to play the 'devil' so to speak because they already know the truth on how this world truly works, and none of it had to do with these made up rules.

Society picks at you, because they are not you. They are 'repulsed' by you because they are repulsed by themselves. The innate desire to have freedom is suppressed in the bodies of those who look to be normal in this world and you had no desire to be that way since the day you were born. It is no wonder you came out to be the black sheep amongst family, having to deal with the tough crowds and mean words. Having to constantly figure out if youre friends truly love you, because youre too different for everyone to be around.

Different is good, but in this world they make it seem terrifying.

When you tap into yourself, you have this untamed magnetic aura that is hard to ignore. One thing that I have mentioned with strong lilith placement holders is that, a lot of your personal power comes from the womb/genital area (sacral) and a little bit in the belly (solar). It shows of a little invisible kind of like a plutonian but it is heavily felt. So no matter how you look or how you dress, people notice this in you and because your raw power is near the sacral (womb/genital) area peoples psyche automatically think (sex) because the power is in your sexual energy!

You might of had a deal of people thinking you wanted to have sex, or was being seductive. Even when you weren't, and then when you tell them thats not whats going on you then have them trying to abuse you for making them 'feel things'. It was all in their imagination and now its your fault. Kind of what they did to lilith.

At some point in time, you go through 'the great death' like lilith and become the darkness of your fears, wounds, and trauma only so you can heal them. You heal through chaos/dark magic. And you are a beckon to those who cannot see in the dark, thats who mama lilith was and is. <3

Hope this helps. Will definitely post more on this subject because I love this.

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bphantom01 · 10 months

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ARC - V Month Day 8 - The Regular- ah, Standard Show

Late post again! Sry, @arcvmonth!

A/N: Man im not sure how this turned out exactly, but I'm quite fine with it.

I wrote this before the day but didn't finish it lol. I did now and this is more just a Yuya/Yuzu kidfic (where they're kids. Thats what kidfic stands for right?) rlly with some random things here and there... But yeah.

(For the song mentioned, the beat & tune is from the one made by Sleeping at Last btw! Just look up [the song title] by Sleeping at Last. If u want a diff tempo tho its ok)

Oh, word count is just 2k in average. And Yuya & Yuzu r 'round 11 here.

Pairings: Yuya/Yuzu

Warnings: None. Just some mentions of getting bullied if that counts

—

Yuya sat at the part of Maiami that overlooks its huge stadium—the place he always goes when he’s sad or wants to go away to a place away from people.

What happened this time is something more mature people would consider ridiculous… for the first part, anyway.

Today, he saw a group of kids climbing a tree together with Yuzu and Gongenzaka as they went home from school.

Little Yuya wanted to try climbing the tree himself, ignoring Yuzu and Gongenzaka’s protests and warnings because he wanted to try what the other kids were doing.

This… did not end well.

The other kids wanted the tree for themselves and as a result, they dueled for it, and Yuya lost greatly.

What was worse, they made fun of his dad, reminding him of how he was a coward because he didn’t show up to his duel against Strong Ishijima.

Now, Yuya didn’t like that they said that and got into a physical fight with them. Gong helped out, and so did Yuzu, but at some point he couldn’t handle it—the painful reminder of his dad, not the fight—anymore and just… ran.

The kids called him a coward too for doing so. It hurt, though they were right… The truth always hurts, as people’d say.

So what was supposed to be just him wanting to climb a tree had turned into a remembrance about his dad.

It’s always his dad, huh…

‘They didn’t need to remind me that…’ Yuya thought, looking at the sunset through his goggles, which was filled with quite a lot of tears.

“Yuya!” Yuzu’s voice echoed from behind him.

He quickly took his goggles off, dropped the water from them, and wiped his eyes.

“Yuya…” He heard the relief clear in Yuzu’s voice. Turning around, he saw Yuzu happily running up to him, her little pink dress a bit dirtied from all the pushing earlier.

Yuya gave her a smile—although it was fake—to hopefully give her some more relief. “Hi…”

“You just ran off!” she scolded through panting breaths as she stopped beside him. “I’m sorry for saying this, but that was very chicken of you!”

Yuya frowned. “I know…” he muttered lowly. “I didn’t mean to…”

He felt his heart starting to throb again. His eyes also swelled as if tears were to come out any minute. He clenched his fists.

“You shouldn’t have started that fight,” Yuzu went on more gently, sitting behind him. “They were trying to make you angrier on purpose, you know that.”

“They called my dad a coward…” Yuya’s breathing became quick again, but he tried to stop it—tried to tell himself not to cry, to keep that feeling of sadness from oozing out of him. “I wished I had been better—better at dueling, better at fighting…!”

But no one can keep such a feeling to themselves forever. And when your body and mind feels like it really needs to, that feeling will come anyway despite one’s efforts to hold it in.

He put on his goggles again and pulled his knees to himself to hug them.

He then buried his face there to hide it from Yuzu as he continued to cry.

That feeling was too much. It had grown too big to just keep it in now, and for some reason, it thought to let itself show now.

It’s so stupid, Yuya thought, rubbing his fingers together and curling his little toes in his little shoes.

He then hugged himself tighter.

“Why’s there people l-like this…? Why can’t they just…” he tried to speak, his breaths and voice shaky. “Disappear, and though I dont want to think bad of other people: be gone?”

“Yuya, those kinds of people will always exist…” Yuzu muttered. ”We can't really do much about them.”

That didn't seem to work, though.

He continued to sob, shaking his head. Great, his snot was starting to go out. He wiped it off with his shirt-jacket.

Yuzu just watched him, not really knowing what to do to calm her best friend down.

She looked out to the sunset as if it’d help in any way.

Of course, the sun isn’t exactly gonna help calm Yuya down, but… it made her remember.

Remember this one, specific, certain little song.

It’s helped her feel better during the times she herself was down, and there won’t be any shame in sharing or trying it with Yuya now, right?

And with a hum of the beginning, she began…

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears…

She closed her eyes.

It's a world of hopes, and a world of fears

She heard Yuya stop sobbing for a bit. Probably wondering why she just started to sing.

There's so much that we share,

It's time we're aware,

Pausing for a bit, Yuzu observed the landscape in front of them, how the sun’s light shone beautifully off the glass dome of the stadium.

She then sang the last lyrics of the stanza.

It's a small world after all…

She then got up and put her feet at the bottom bar of the hand rail and her arms atop it.

There is just one moon and one golden sun,

Yuzu looked up at the horizon, trailing her eyes to the setting sun.

And a smile means friendship to everyone…

Before smiling, as this line reminded her of Yuya’s cool smile philosophy.

Though the mountains divide, and the oceans are wide,

She traced the outline of the bridge and stadium with her little index finger,

It's a small world after all~

until she reached the conclusion.

She then just sang from there, not noticing how Yuya had already removed his goggles, now just dangling on his neck, and smiled at her.

It's a small world af~ter all,

It's a small world after all…!

It's a small world after all,

It's a small, small world…

She hummed the instrumental.

As she did, Yuya went and joined her by the rail, also watching what was left of the sun’s summit on the horizon.

This surprised the former, although she liked it.

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears,

A world of hopes, and a world of fears,

She likes how her plan actually… worked on Yuya.

And for some reason, he sang the next few lines with her.

There's so much that we share

It's time we're aware

It's a small world after all

(Yuzu) There is just one moon (Yuya) and one golden sun,

And a smile means friendship to everyone…

Yuya giggled a little while singing this part, and Yuzu couldn’t help but smile as well.

(Both) Though the mountains divide and the oceans are wide,

(Yuzu) It's a small, small world.

(Yuya) It's a small world after all,

(Yuzu) It's a small world after all,

(Yuya) It's a small world after all,

And now they just raced on who’s gonna sing next

It's a small, small world.

They giggled at themselves and went off the railing.

It's a small world after all,

It's a small, small world…

They faced each other and held the other’s hands in their own.

(Yuya) It's a world of laughter, (Yuzu) a world of tears…

She looked down.

A world of hopes, (Yuya) and a world of fears

Yuya gave her another sweet smile. “Let’s sing the last parts together…”

“Sure.”

There's so much that we share,

It's time we're aware,

It's a small world after all~

For a few moments after this, the two just sat there for a while, sitting down there behind the green handrail.

They relished in the salty scent of the sea brought about by the cool breeze that brushed past them, as well as the glow of the sun setting yonder.

It was a nice, peaceful moment. And the realization that it's just the two of them here made the experience even more amazing.

Finally, Yuya felt a bit of… True, solemn tranquility within his heart and mind.

“Yuzu,” he began, listening to some far away squacks by some seagulls, “why'd you sing that song to me?”

“Oh, silly…” she laughed, “it was… To make you feel better, ya know?”

She looked towards him. “I know I yelled at you, but I also know that that alone won't make you feel better. And I didn't know how else to help calm you down, and I thought that the song helped me calm down… So maybe it will calm you, too.”

“Oh…”

To be frank, the song actually did help calm him.

And he was grateful for it, for if it weren't for his precious friend and her soothing song, who knows how long he would've stayed where he was — just dwelling on those awful thoughts and events.

He turned to Yuzu, observing her happy, serene expression as she looked towards the stadium.

“Who knows, Yuya,” she started out of the blue. “Maybe someday, you'll be able to avenge your dad and defeat his annoying opponent.”

“You're right.” He stood up. “You know? I'm gonna do it—one day. Not today yet, but at some point in the future. Soon enough!”

Yuzu giggled and stood next to him as well. “I'll be looking forward to that day, Yuya. But for now, learn to defeat me and Gong first! If you can't, you probably will never survive even just a minute with the guy!”

“Don't worry, Yuzu. I will!” He gave her a determined smile. “I will do my best!”

Later, they met up with Gong again. For some reason, they decided to try and climb a different tree anyway, as Yuya so desired.

To a nearby hill they went as quickly as they could so as to go home before it gets too dark.

And when they got to their preferred tree, Yuya scaled it at once and, when he reached the top, was rewarded with the perfect, small view of Maiami.

Some buildings had their lights turned on already as night was approaching fast, and it was… Really nice to see the nice orange-pink-blue contrast of the sky above them combined with said buildings and other structures.

When they climbed down, he fell at some point, but… He was fine with it (even though it did, in fact, leave him with some bruises and scars).

It was just four feet anyway.

He got scolded by Yoko a lot when he got home, of course, and he took it to himself to listen to her.

And when he was finally in bed, he smiled remembering the stuff that happened that day.

Sure, there was that, but then again, good things can't happen without bad things, and the same vise-versa. How will something be considered good if there is no bad?

And as Yuzu had sung, this world…

It was one of laughter, as well as tears… A world full of hope, but also fear.

And those things do coexist.

But yeah. He got to climb the tree too, that was fun.

He raised his hand to glance at the bandaged scars he got and giggled. They were just a small price to pay for such an amazing view.

And that thing he talked about with Yuzu… How, one day, he'll beat his dad's annoying opponent. And Gong and… her, too, of course.

Maybe even, he hopes, beat his own dad…

He just knows it.

Turning to his headboard, he picked up his pendulum and made it sway. Back and forth it did.

Yep. One day, things will swing his way…

He exhaled happily. One day. There will be a day for all those one day. Not now, but soon.

But for now, what he needed to do was sleep.

And, looking at his glowing stars and duel monsters scattered across his dark ceiling one last time, that's what he decided to do. Of course, he put his pendulum back onto his headboard gently first.

It didn't take long for him to fall into deep slumber.

—

Ending A/N: kinda just wanted to find an excuse for Yuzu to sing 'It's a Small World' to Yuya :P

#arcvmonth #arcvmonth2023 #fruitshipping #yuyayuzu #arc v #01's writing #yugioh arc v #this... spawned from a wip i have where serena sings to yuri actually lmao #and then i accidentally listened to its a small world in a random playlist amd got a wave of nostalgia and immediately thought DANG thisd #fit Yuya & Yuzu sm man #it's a small world #its 2 am here dont be like me sleep early. im gonna sleep now

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ianthoni · 8 months

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So today @juztscrollingthrough send me this video from 2009. 2009, the year Anthony said their friendship basically ended.

First part of the video where they ask "if their friendship ever been torn apart by a woman yet?" And Anthony immediately answer with "yeah his girlfriend right now" he laughs but it's obvious he thinks of it beforehand hence why he was so quick to answer to that. But Ian laughs at him. He either thinks Anthony is joking or he's not comfortable with Anthony talking about his girlfriend. And then when they ask if they have girlfriends Ian's face immediately falls as him and Anthony says yes. (Put a more closer look at the end) Now that's definitely not a "shy" look as the woman said in my eyes. It's clear that Ian is sad about it. But why? Is he sad that he had a girlfriend? Is he sad that they're talking about her in the show? Is he sad that Anthony has a girlfriend? That they can't spend enough time together now? And why didn't Anthony liked Ian's gf? As far as I know m****** and Ian is still in good terms. What was happening in Anthony's mind that made him uncomfortable? I don't wanna believe that™ woman but her story about this part looks like it's true. Anthony doesn't like Ian's gf and Ian doesn't like Anthony's. I get Ian not liking k**** but why Anthony doesn't like m******? Yeah i know that's none of ours business but it's too much of a subject now I can't stop but wonder about it. Cause we all now even if Ian threatened bad in the relationship he wouldn't tell anything. He himself said he wouldn't even understand if he put in emotional turmoil. Did something happen to make Anthony not happy? Also again why the fuck Ian is sad about them having girlfriends? He immediately puts it to Anthony by making a joke about the shy part with "oh Anthony is blushing now" but he wasn't shy it is so obvious Ian was sad. Ok on to the next part.

This part is more sadder. SAD AS FUCK. Cause here we see Anthony very openly and a little jokey but in all seriousness saying Ian that he doesn't enjoy doing editing the full time. He says "he lost the gladiator fight (this is a reference as they did fight about parts and Ian got the writing the script and him "stuck" with editing)" When the reporter confront Ian with "he wanted to do it too you're too controlling Ian" Ian looks so confused. Cause this is the first time he's hearing this and he's shocked and doesn't realize if that's a bit or serious he's looking between Anthony and the reporter awkwardly laughing. And Anthony hits him with "this is spousal abuse" Ian is confused licking his lips can't answer the reporter can't answer to Anthony he doesn't know what to say. Again we know Ian is not very open about his feelings and can't show them. That's a fact already. But in this moment we can see him can't hide his feelings and like showing his confusion. I think Ian's poker face improved after defy where he tried to act like everything is ok around the Smosh cast. In here it's still 2009, he's a young boy. And then Anthony says "I never told you but I'm very hurt by this." Referring the editing and the script writing. We know it's not a joke cause he repeats himself for Ian to hear it. Ian still can't answer but there's a little "awww" coming. He probably wants this to stop. Doesn't wanna talk about it anymore. His face is obvious but his mouth still can't make up words about how he's feeling. We see him relax a little when others laugh so he thinks it's not that serious it's not something big of a deal that makes Anthony leave. He's relaxed now and jokes about it. The others remind them that COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY. TALK TO EACH OTHER. Anthony then makes another comment "you never talk with me." He's serious about this too. We can see it because when Ian came to his senses and made that a joke too and give a funny accent apologize we can see Anthony is annoyed. This is him trying and Ian once again pushing his feelings aside and turning it into jokes. Which I think Anthony sees that jokes as "Ian didn't care about me, it was always a joke to him, he didn't care about me enough" when it's just Ian trying to make it a joke so he doesn't have to be open and sincere and talk about his feelings. (This boy needs therapy((STILL)) now that he "apologized" he immediately drops his face and sulk cause he's aware it's bad too, he knows it's cringe and he knows it annoys Anthony.

Meanwhile others are STILL trying to advise them to talk to each other. They ignore that as they talk between each other "we should go to Dr Phil" "or Tyra(not sure he literally talks inside his mouth)" others tells them to find each others love languages Anthony shakes his head as a no? Ian laughs? And again they end it with SPEAK TO EACH OTHER. Which we later saw that they actually didn't do that.

Someone in the server said something like "i can't believe how they managed to stretch that till 2017" tbh i really don't know too. Cause this conversation happened literally 14 years later too. Anthony still remembers it all. My only guess is the love and connection they had for each other. Ian didn't wanna talk about it, he didn't wanna do it because he didn't want Anthony to leave, I bet he had his own problems too but he put everything aside and put on a happy mask, acting like nothing bad is happening when everything bad is happening. He tried to act like everything is fine so Anthony won't leave. And Anthony didn't say anything or maybe tried a little but got ignored by Ian. So he didn't talk about it anymore because he didn't want to annoy Ian, and then later he thought Ian didn't care anymore, he was a bad person. I don't wanna assume their friendship it's not my place. But it's so obvious that communication was the key. And from the 2009 people were telling them to talk to each other. That they didn't listen. Ofc now that they came together they talk more about their feelings and they're more open to each other. At the time they were still young and still insecure probably. But every time i saw them coming together after 6 years. It made me think that they're actually soulmates. The universe wanted them together that's why Ian transferred to that school, that's why they met in 6th grade, that's why they became best friends. The universe tears them apart because they couldn't realize the magic of their relationship. But even after 6 years they're coming together and there's STILL a sparkle that's destiny. Their path might be separated in the road but they're back together and now they're closer than ever. I'm so glad.

"If it’s real love, then let it breathe. Let them be free as a person, and if they come back to you, then that’s how you know it’s always been real. This is what you call “freedom love” in order to let them go and be free—it’s coming from love and never hate or pity. Lead with love in these conversations, and if it’s meant to be, it’ll come back to you. This is not a goodbye forever, just a see you next time."

#smosh #ian hecox #anthony padilla #ianthony #☀️🔍#💛🖤#this is by no means me going thats exactly what happened its the truth or anything this is just me analysing shit i saw #its 3.50am #im on my feelings rn

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sharpenurdamnknife · 7 months

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Could you describe your relationship with your younger sister, Cassy, and how it has evolved since taking on the role of caregiver? How do you balance being both a sister and a mother figure to her?

"Oh very interesting question." Piper smiled at the memories. "By the time Cassie was born, I was already in my mid-20s. I guess the benefit to being a man is that when you can have sex with a junior partner you can have kids with a 26-year age gap." She smirked, shaking her head. "I mean way to be a stereotype right? The only thing better would have been if it was with his secretary. Anyway- None of that really has all that much to do with Cassie. My dad brought her home, convinced the other woman not to derail her career, and signed over her parental rights and my dad then convinced my mother to take her in as their own. Legally my mom adopted her- all very hush hush ya know?"

"But my mother wasn't even a good mom to her biological daughter- me. So I pretty much knew it would be a shit show. Before Cassie was born we were all but estranged. I'd check in once in a while and they would pretend to be proud that their daughter was a lead chef in a Michelin-star-rated restaurant. But we didn't really see each other or talk all that much. When Cassie was born though I changed that- I started coming back home at least once a month for a long weekend, sometimes more than that. When she was five I gave her one of those kiddie phones that only have my number in it so she could call me whenever she wanted. I'd call her a few times a week. But-" Her eyebrows furrowed. "She started getting....more shy. Like normal 4 or 5 year olds make alot of noise. They run around. The break things and babble to try and learn how to speak. She...she acted like she was scared to talk. I can't remember when I was her age- obviously but I remember being told to sush. I remember being told to look cute, to smile for pictures. I remember when I got a little older my mom teaching me what to say to different people. I dont know if it was to butter them up or make them feel bad...I remember getting scolded if I didn't." She seemed to get lost in her thoughts for a moment, in those very distant memories. The ones where you sort of remember but not completely.

"I knew that was happening with her. When I found out that she'd been left at home with a nanny and my mother had left on a cruise after my father died, I knew. I knew that she was hiding. That she was afraid if she said the wrong thing or was even too loud my mother would be cruel and claim that it was just the truth." She shook her head. "You cant tell a kid that they aren't really yours. Its mean. It will screw them up."

"When I came home, Cassie was so so damn happy but every night she would come into my room for the first few months to make sure I was still there. Sometimes she still does." She admitted, sadness tinging her voice instead of anger. "The first time I worked a late night the babysitter called me because Cassie was terrified I wasn't coming home and had locked herself in the closet and wouldn't come out."

Piper had to stop, pushing tears from the corner of her eyes with the heel of her hand. "We had to get over that. It took a while." Her voice was wavering and she had to take a break, breathing deeply. "I've tried to get her to talk about it, tried to get her involved with other kids at school but she's still so shy. I hope that it will get better with time. That she won't remember this like I barely do. That she'll gradually see that she has someone consistent in her life that's not going to leave her because she isn't exactly what they expected her to be. I never expected to be a parent. I never planned on it. I might - no I do sort of suck at it but at least she'll know what having a sort of maternal figure feels like you know? Even if she might hate me sometimes."

"I think thats one of the hardest parts to explain to people. We always had food, and clothes and a bed and even had money. But that doesn't mean we were loved. That doesn't mean that she wasn't neglected...I know what thats like, to even feel guilty as an adult talking about it. I'm not going to let her go through that."

#this is fucking heart breaking #I haven't actually written in depth about that in so so long #thank you!#мσяε тнεη α яιcн gιяℓ : Head cannon #sнε ωιℓℓ вε ℓσvε∂ : Cassie

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nonbinaryaubrey · 2 years

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Also, because I genuinely want to hear more about it, what's the Revived Mari AU? You've talked about it before and it seems very interesting, but I don't think you've given a proper summary before. I mean, I talked to you about my AUs for days in your ask box, that makes it fair game for you to talk about AUs to me. -🎀

OKAYYYY.. revived mari revived mari. i dont know entireellyyy?? how to summarize it <- theres a lot going on and also i tend to be a bit indecisive so i kinda change things around sometimes. i can answer any other questions you have thoo!!

anyways uhh. basic plot rundown. forgive me for poor wording i kinda struggle to explain this stuff </3. After Mari's death and her being a ghost for a short while, she ends up inside Sunny's headspace, taking the form of headspace Mari.. For awhile being there is actually,, very nice for her. Of course it would be to her, especially at this point.. Its a world where shes alive. Where she still has her friends. Where she feels... a lot less angry and upset. She isnt sure how to feel about.. her brother here. Omori.. silent and near emotionless. It doesn't feel right but when shes here she cant exactly figure out why. But she can easily disregard it for now. This place is nice and shes happy here.!

But,, then headspace resets. She doesnt exactly,, remember it. or what happened before it but. she can kind of tell something is wrong. things feel like theyre repeating. it feels off and. she wants to leave. and she does,,, but. not for long. shes quickly drawn back to headspace.. (<- made up ghost lore stuff. ghosts easily get attached to certain things, such as buildings, people, etc. they can go away from these technically but will always end up being drawn back). Mari cannot leave Headspace pretty much,, even less so the longer she stays there. Things quickly go down hill from there. which is explained in this post but tldr: with each Headspace reset Mari loses a piece of herself and her memories in the process.

Things continue like this for the next 4 years up until Sunny begins going outside again. I think him doing that and him repressing some of his memories a bit less also helps Mari regain some of her memories too. which allows the scene at the dreamworld ocean and the scene at her piano to happen.. though when she really gets all her memories back is first when the black light bulb gets broken and Sunny goes through the truth sequence + when Sunny goes through Memory Lane... She performs the Final Duet with him and watches him leave Whitespace behind before her vision and consciousness fade away. She is happy and shes ready to pass on.

Thats until... she wakes up some time later (a couplee months id say? maybe during christmas break.), in the middle of the night and shes seemingly broken out of her own coffin. Its the most alive she's felt in years, its feels nothing like Headspace. But she feels as if this has to be a dream, another version of Headspace perhaps? One thats more like the real world Faraway town now. But either way she.. kind of has no idea what to do with herself, she no longer has a script to follow like she did in Headspace. Which I imagine is,, quite the sudden change after 4 years. She ends up just kind of wandering for a bit after leaving out the church, eventually finding herself at the old hangout spot (and.. accidentally scaring off Angel and The Maverick, who had decided to sneak out there. idk to be rebellious or what ever <- kind of a joke idea i came up with ig) She sits down at the abandoned picnic blanket and falls asleep there. <- thats kiinda where she hangs out for a little bit. Up until a small black cat runs in and quickly goes over to her, its purple collar having the name Mewo on it, soon followed by 2 younger boys, Sunny and Basil. She immediately stops at the sight of them, and they do the same. The 3 of them are all kind of stunned, but Basil and Sunny almost immediately run off as soon as Mari opens her mouth to say something.

^ ^ thiiiis is kind of where the stuff i have becomes very non-linear. i still have ideas and stuff but theyre more broken apart and inconsistent. but this is most of like the main plot/lore stuff thats important

I HOPE THIS ALL MAKES SENSEE!! heres a little mari for u if u read this all <33

#this is ok to rb btw <33 look at my revived Mari boy (throws her at you)#omori #mari omori #revived mari au #aubrey.txt #aubrey.png #okayy uhh.#unreality tw #<- TAGGING THAT TO BE CAREFUL. its barely mentioned in this post but it still is. its kind of a bigger thing with Mari in this au.#yknow. lasting consequences of being trapped in a dreamworld for 4 years and all that other stuff #asks #magical girl anon

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notedchampagne · 2 years

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you say youre a kageyama fan but have you done THIS? anyway spoilers for season 4, episode 6 but in case youd actually like to see a transcript of my kageyama meta:

for reference in case you dont know exactly what happens in s4 ep 6, this is the Recrowning of Kageyama Tobio. hinatas silly little towel crown and tobio learning its okay to be kind of a king

after kageyama got shot down in middle school AND was unsynced with hinata the way he managed to make quicks with hinata work was after suga told him that a good setter sets the ball to what is accessible for the spiker, and not just the most opportune place at the time. following this kageyama was skilled enough to acclimate to the other spikers easily and there wasnt any kind of external pressure on him to revert to the king

HOWEVER after the national training camp kageyama was able to play with other extremely talented volleyball players so now hes USED to the level of skill from that week, which is shown in the way he noticed komori (the libero) moving out of the way and then noticed that in nishinoya

paired with atsumu calling him That: going back to my first point kageyama wasnt actually pushing the rest of the team, he was just doing normal setter duties. he was getting the ball to where it needed to be. atsumus bitchy little personality, god bless his soul i wish he were me and i want to maul him to death, TOLD him he was a goody two shoes because thats EXACTLY what kageyama was. if you look in the previous episodes you can notice snippets where kageyama directly asks feedback from asahi/tsukishima on his sets so that way they can spike easier

this is operating off of what i will affectionately dub the oikawa principle: by giving spikers the best sets they can receive, they will spike at their best

after the national training camp kageyama starts to display his more kingly traits not just because hes used to the higher level of skill from the past week, but also because despite giving his team the best sets possible theyre still failing. THIS is why he started yelling. behold the kageyama mental dialogue:

if my sets are good but the spiker is failing, that means the spiker is not doing enough. they either need to get faster (proven to fail), spike higher (learnt and acted upon) or simply Be Better

if my sets are good but we lost the point, someone on the team isnt doing their job. it cant be me because im doing my job to the best work possible

now paraphrased he SAID "i KNOW my sets are good so PLEASE score the point" kageyamas confidence is NOT UNFOUNDED!!!! HE KNOWS HIS SETS ARE GOOD! THERE IS PROOF! the rest of the team failing is only dragging him down AND ITS AGAINST KAGEYAMAS PRINCIPLE TO ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN!

his entire heart and soul in the team dynamics of volleyball is rooted in bringing people up with him so they can continue playing better and better players and to keep playing more and more volleyball. its why he didnt let this pass by its why he has to SAY something

now hinatas literally his soulmate for this because he tells kageyama being bossy is OKAY because he honestly is saying... the truth. they just wont listen if hes being too rude which is fair. regardless hinata redefining the meaning of "king" and placing it upon kageyama is like the key that pretty much lets kageyama know its OKAY to demand more of his spikers if it makes them win. his job isnt just to give them sets they want its to give them the sets they NEED to WIN

hence why he started pushing tsukishima to spike higher to get past date techs blocks. hence why he learned the special toss for hinata to push him to spike better. hence why hes taking notes on being kinder to his spikers and communicating with them. deep down in his heart he truly cares so fucking much about his team and he knows hes good enough to start climbing the ladder but now he knows he cant get there solo which is why hes working to bring the rest of the team up with him

i literally love him so much. he makes me so emotional

#you asked for haikyuu meta.... you are getting it #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#kageyama tobio #chat #kagehina

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all41 · 29 days

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What happened to Yoichi ? + the allegory.

Yeah, here's another Afo post but I've been thinking about these things a lot. So first up, I found a post that talked about Yoichi's death and how Afo might not have been the one to cause it and, tbh, I think I'm slapping it into the belief system because like I mentioned last night on discord, ( where I've been yapping about these things, rip people who gotta listen to me ) it speaks to a lot of things I found strange about Yoichi's death scene. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm good with the current accepted canon that Afo murdered Yoichi in a jealous rage but I think I'm going to be keeping the events kind of blurry and not confirming that that's exactly what happened in the event that its not. So the post I'm referring to is here. But to summarize, we were made aware back when All Might began training Izuku that Ofa could be a very dangerous quirk and someone with a weak body would not be able to handle it. All Might explains that it could essentially explode the user.

And that seems to be exactly what happened to Yoichi. While Ofa was definitely no where near the type of quirk it had developed into during All Might's time, Yoichi was always extremely weak and sickly. Even a tiny slither of Ofa's developing power might have been enough to kill him. To me it would kind of explain Afo's complete shock and the fact that nothing in the scene to me indicates that Afo was trying to harm Yoichi for real. It seemed more like his intention was to simply grab Yoichi and drag him home. I mean, its possible Afo did use a quirk without thinking and killed Yoichi, or that he intended to hit Kudo but his focus on Yoichi caused him to hit Yoichi instead but there doesn't seem to be much intention from Afo to cause this damage and the way he's completely stunned about it feels off to me. Like if he was in a jealous rage I'd think being gripped by that rage would give him the motivation to completely murder everyone in the room, yet once Yoichi explodes, he's left standing there stunned and horrified, so much that all the other rebels escape.

Afo doesn't seem enraged in the panels leading up to Yoichi's death, rather he just seems confused and in disbelief that Yoichi is choosing the rebels over him. Moreover, I don't believe we've ever seen Afo use a quirk like the one that apparently popped Yoichi. This would be an insanely powerful quirk so you think if Afo had the power to just pop someone when hes angry he might use that quirk more ? Yet we don't see it again. The only possible explanation I could see here is if the quirk Afo used was actually Decay ! And Afo did actually give it to Tenko knowing exactly what it can do to a family member if you touch them while you're feeling emotional which is an angle I also love and believe could be the truth but thats a WHOLE other theory, so we're putting that aside for a hot minute as I believe we're going to find out whether or not this is true in the manga VERY soon.

Afo goes on to blame Kudo for this and, again, sure this could be just denial and delusion on his behalf but it might make sense that Afo imagined Kudo somehow did this if he himself didn't. What makes this all so tangible to me is the fact we know that for all the shit wrong with Afo, he did love his brother. In a twisted way, you could even say a lot of what Afo has done, he's done out of this twisted love for his brother.

This is true even in the present time, where a majority of Afo's motivation comes down to trying to get Yoichi back, as if he can't believe that Yoichi would willingly leave him in the first place.

We could also take this panel as confirmation that this is true:

Yoichi possibly activated Ofa in a panic and it killed him. For my portrayal, I'll be keeping it very vague what happened, as even if this is true, Afo is left to contend with the fact that he very well may have killed Yoichi somehow without realizing, but a part of him feels certain he didn't. Either way, he blames Kudo and the rebels, because if they didn't interfere, he's sure Yoichi would have lived either way.

Anyway, on to the next thing. There was also this really wild post I saw that tried to talk about metaphors in Afo's character and for whatever reason landed on the insane idea that Afo's character and quirk is a weird allegory for SA but that's so genuinely insane which made me want to mention the actual major trope that is present in Afo and the metaphor it actually represents because I'm cursed with the actual media literacy and narrative awareness that woke Antis can only dream of possessing I guess; So I present to you Horror Hunger as one of the main tropes present in Afo. Its the dire need a usually supernatural character ( Vampires, Demons, Witches, etc ) has to consume something other than food, usually taken from a human. This can be blood, flesh, organs or some other form of energy like souls. With Afo, this is seen in his near compulsion to steal quirks and the fact that within the canon we've had Afo's quirk stealing very much depicted as a type of soul stealing. Hell, Afo fully intended to consume Tomura's soul outright and completely possess his body. When I say something all my muses have in common despite many of them not actually being from a horror based franchise, I mean it. Its the horrors. These are horror tropes. Afo is not an exception.

But I digress, quirks in the MHA universe are depicted as a type of spiritual essence that is engrained into a person. Its very important to everything about them, their personalities and temperaments and interests usually somehow surround their quirk, which is also why the oppression toward quirks has been depicted as a human rights violation within the canon and why quirks themselves within the canon so often work as metaphors for minority groups. Again, Japanese xmen shit, no idea how the fandom fumbles it so often, its all very explicitly spoken about in canon.

Anyway, When Afo steals a quirk, which he can do from anyone, whether alive or dead, he is taking a part of their soul. As is common with the horror hunger trope, this is depicted as strengthening him. Its the same deal as vampires and wraiths or any other being that is depicted as harvesting any type of lifeforce or flesh from "normal" humans.

And again, this trope is very often used as metaphor for addiction, the darkest, most disturbing parts of addiction / a person consumed by addiction, and a case with this could be made with Afo, from the way he seems to compulsively steal quirks, even going as far as doing it while still in his mother's womb, right back to his birth and his own mother's history as a sex worker who, herself, was heavily implied to have been an actual drug user or at least an alcoholic.

Things such as neonatal abstinence syndrome are very real things. They occur when mother's take certain drugs during their pregnancy which causes the fetus to be become reliant/addicted to those drugs, which obviously then causes damage to the baby when it is born. Afo's mother apparently didn't even know she was pregnant for the first eight months due to the destitute and "unstable" life she was living, and its obvious her lifestyle didn't change at all after she found out.

The idea of Afo and Yoichi essentially being "drugged babies" account for a lot about them. Afo's aggression and obvious 'behavioral issues', Yoichi's fragility and sickness, these are real issues people can have when their mother's use drugs while pregnant. Afo got "most" of his mother's "nutrients" and was always depicted as "sapping away her lifeforce". Both children where born very negatively effected, but this would mean Afo was the one that got the major, possibly brain altering dose of whatever combination of things their mother was taking, while Yoichi on the other hand received all the physical defects. Afo getting the psychological disorders makes sense and adds up with all of his behavior both as a child and an adult. From his charming manipulation of others, to his aggression and disregard for others and warped world view. These are all highlights of extremely dark aspects of addiction. But anyway, it makes a crazy amount of sense to explain why Yoichi and Afo were like that outside of a fantasy / supernatural way but when you do add the fantasy / supernatural aspects, Afo being a drugged / addicted baby turns into him being a callous, compulsive thief of the MHA universes depiction of souls to sustain the hunger/addiction he was born with and I do believe thats a thing with him, with canons full support, also taking into account Afo's quirk stealing has been shown to have negative side effects for him too, given he sometimes has to fight internally with the quirks he's stolen and at times they will even cause him harm as a result. The evidence of this being a legit thing is everywhere.

#headcanons

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pesterloglog · 2 months

Text

John Egbert, Jake English, Tavros Crocker

Candy, page 36

JOHN: dad?

JOHN: jake?

JOHN: what are you doing here?

JOHN: wh–

JOHN: HOW are you here?

JOHN: did something happen with jane?

JAKE: Oh nothing er happened exactly.

JAKE: Just thought we would pop in for a bit of r and r with an old pal isnt that right tav?

TAVROS: Cripes,,, sorry, uncle john,

TAVROS: I’ll replace it,,,

JOHN: it’s fine. that’s actually just a piece of garbage.

JOHN: aren’t you cold?

JAKE: I am in fact!

JAKE: These old duds...

JAKE: Well you see janey bought all my other clothes.

JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when i left. Nothing she er, might miss.

TAVROS: You took me,

TAVROS: And,,, you took you,

JAKE: Then i daresay i made the right choice not rustling the bushes in the making off with inanimate belongings department.

JAKE: Wouldnt want to give her any more reasons to get all retributive!

JAKE: Shes got a lot to worry about right now! Incredibly busy woman you know.

JOHN: okay, so, uh...

JOHN: i guess i’m just gonna move past the fact you’re 90% naked in my house.

JOHN: i’m not forgetting about it. we’ve got to address that at some point.

JOHN: but i guess we can put that on the backburner for now.

JOHN: are you trying to tell me that you left jane?

JAKE: Eh heh heh whew when you put it like that it sure sounds erm...

JAKE: Well i suppose that is what it looks like isnt it. Ha ha.

JAKE: What i did that is. Thats the thing thats looking like that. Hoo...

JOHN: so i guess this is the thing that’s currently happening now.

JOHN: what exactly do you want me to do?

JAKE: Well. I suppose i was hoping you might be willing to help me and wee tavvy out a bit here.

JOHN: help you out?

JOHN: that’s pretty funny.

JOHN: i remember trying to help you for years, and you never seemed that interested back then.

JAKE: Look here chap sometimes not everything is so simple!

JAKE: It isnt as if i couldve just walked out the door whenever i wished!

JOHN: i mean... yeah, you kind of could have.

JOHN: not now. but years and years ago.

JOHN: back before everything got so...

JAKE: Warlike and tempestuous?

JOHN: i was gonna say stupid, but yeah.

JAKE: Well its not as if janey got like this overnight.

JAKE: None of this happened overnight john!

JAKE: Its just like you go to take a dip in the water and everything starts out cool and fine...

JAKE: But then it just keeps getting hotter and hotter. Gradually. Degree by degree.

JAKE: So slowly that by the time the waters boiling you dont even realize youre being scalded alive!

JOHN: are you guys... i don’t know, hungry, or whatever?

JOHN: i think i have a frozen pizza.

JOHN: i’m sorry for being... i don’t know. a bitch.

JOHN: it’s just been kind of a rough forever.

JAKE: No offense taken chap! Whisky?

JAKE: As you may know im not in truth the biggest fan of the stuff but it gets the job done right quick eh.

JAKE: John.

JAKE: Do you think im a bad person?

JOHN: wait. what?

JAKE: Do you think ive ruined my whole entire life and all of my relationships and especially the most important relationship in ones life, the divine and unbreakable bond between a man and his son?

JOHN: haha.

JOHN: um.

JOHN: not sure if i’m the best person to talk to about this, considering i kind of did the same thing?

JOHN: but, no. i don’t really think that.

JOHN: it’s not as if anything that’s happened to you is your fault, like, existentially.

JOHN: or like, even non-existentially. i guess even in straightforward non-metatextual-jerkoff terms it’s also not your fault your wife was treating you like shit?

JOHN: it may be all my fault in both an existential and non-existential capacity, so i wouldn’t sweat it too much either way.

JAKE: Eh? What do you mean?

JOHN: i don’t think you’d really understand.

JOHN: all i’m saying is...

JOHN: you’re alright, i think.

JOHN: i think you’re doing the best you can.

JOHN: i don’t blame you for anything, jake.

JAKE: I wish i could tell you hearing that was a load off my mind john.

JAKE: The me of yesteryear probably would have drunk to your health and exclaimed, thats grand ole chap! Now im off to wrestle with a robot and engage in dalliances and whatnot!

JAKE: Except i would have been drinking flat cherry coke back then probably. Gran left an astounding amount of cherry coke behind when she died and it took forever to get through it all.

JOHN: that’s pretty gross.

JAKE: Different strokes for different folks i suppose!

JAKE: Anyway my point is...

JAKE: Maybe you should blame me?

JAKE: Maybe i need someone to blame me. For once.

JOHN: ...huh?

JAKE: I think im starting to realize that ive been going through life with the mindset that nothing has ever really been within my control.

JAKE: Maybe its been the people i surround myself with.

JAKE: Janey always seemed so sure of what was right and what she wanted!

JAKE: And one of those things was me.

JAKE: I dont think i ever really tried to challenge her. Not when it ever mattered.

JAKE: And before her there was dirk.

JAKE: Hoo boy. Dirk would have written me out an annotated schedule for every minute of my day if id asked him to.

JAKE: Or um, especially if i hadnt asked him to.

JAKE: Dirk... he...

JAKE: Ah maybe its best if we dont dwell too much on that...

JAKE: In a way i think i found all that comforting.

JAKE: Havent you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?

JOHN: maybe. yeah. i dunno.

JAKE: Im starting to think ive been a bit of a fool about it all though.

JAKE: Its easy to shrug it all off when its just your own life being jostled about.

JAKE: But this is all something i shouldve been thinking about when ole tavvy was born isnt it?

JAKE: Too little too late.

JAKE: Ive not done right by that boy at all.

JAKE: Even now all im doing is making excuses for myself. Phew!

JOHN: jake, i guess i actually don’t know you that well, but i think there’s a difference between making excuses and just giving reasons.

JOHN: there’s reasons for what you did, sure. and i guess you can think of it as an excuse, but that’s only if you don’t make the effort to start trying to fix yourself.

JOHN: and i mean... okay, look. you left. you’re doing it. you’re making it happen!

JOHN: you got your son out of there.

JOHN: better a decade late than never. i guess.

JAKE: You... youre right john!

JAKE: I did do that didnt i.

JAKE: Nobody swooped in through the window and rescued me.

JAKE: I did it myself! I finally stood up for whats right and im going to make way for a new and better me!

JAKE: I have my immortal life ahead of me. Theres no point in sitting around hating myself and regretting the past!

JOHN: i...

JOHN: thought it would be harder to convince you?

JAKE: Golly john, i–

JAKE: Gee willikers, do you hear that?

JAKE: John.

JOHN: yeah?

JAKE: Take my hand.

JOHN: what? why?

JAKE: Dance with me!

JOHN: oh, jesus christ.

JAKE: Im excited, john! I havent been excited in such a long time.

JAKE: Its just so great to be out on my own! Here with you after so long!

JAKE: You and me and tav, gosh were going to make such a team! Two crockers and an egbert!

JAKE: A cracking good comedy to be sure.

JAKE: Heck. Perhaps ill take back my good old name back! Who knows, maybe tav would want to be an english too!

JAKE: This place is a bit smaller than wee tavvy is used to but im sure well make do.

JOHN: you want to move in with me?

JAKE: Oh yes i suppose id ought run the plans by you first before letting my imagination run wild eh.

JAKE: Im sure i could find somewhere else to stay. But i must say i do feel much safer bringing tav up with family!

JOHN: sure. why the hell not.

JOHN: oof...

JAKE: Eh? What are you looking so glum for there chap?

JOHN: oh, you know. the usual.

JAKE: Do you need help getting up?

JOHN: nah.

JOHN: i’m cool down here, on the floor.

JAKE: You know john. Maybe wed ought embark upon this journey of self-betterment together!

JAKE: What do you say my boy?

JOHN: what...

JAKE: I got my tavvy out. Have you been thinking about making amends with roxy and such? Maybe give her the push she needs to get out herself?

JOHN: not really.

JAKE: And why in the hell not!!

JOHN: like i said, you wouldn’t really understand.

JOHN: i don’t think there’s really much of a point in me trying to talk to roxy.

JOHN: she’s not...

JAKE: Shes not what?

JAKE: You cant rightly go and blame the woman for all your troubles john.

JOHN: i’m not!

JOHN: i’m not blaming her at all.

JAKE: Then what ARE you saying johnnyboy?

JOHN: that even if i COULD talk to her and try to set things straight...

JOHN: why bother?

JOHN: she may not even be, like, real. strictly speaking.

JAKE: Eh?!

JOHN: like i said. you wouldn’t understand.

JOHN: trust me. it’s all a whole lot of crazy stuff.

JAKE: Youre right. That is an awfully crazy thing to say!

JAKE: Not real? Why i just saw roxy yesterday!

JOHN: ...

JAKE: Shes as solid and real a person as you or i john.

JAKE: Its hardly becoming of a man to say something so dismissive even if its tough to know what a lady is thinking from time to time.

JOHN: i’m not...

JOHN: ...

JAKE: Whats that now?

JOHN: i fucked up too bad, too long ago.

JOHN: it’s just too late to change anything now.

JAKE: So what?

JOHN: huh?

JAKE: So what if it doesnt change anything? Wont it matter to your family to see you care?

JAKE: Wont it make you feel better to try?

JAKE: To at least be able to say that when the chips were down, you gave it your honest all?

JOHN: ...

JAKE: And what about harry anderson? Do you really want to go the rest of your long life knowing you never tried to be the father your son needed?

JAKE: My word john. Are you... crying?

JOHN: haha...

JOHN: jake, do you have roxy’s number?

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #john egbert #jake english #tavros crocker #candy epilogue #page 36

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is-on-its-way · 2 months

Text

The Ending

Episode: s06e01 The Beginning

Part of the Scully is a human Series

Mulder thinks this song is about him. Scully thinks he thinks she thinks this song is about Diana.

---

(MULDER is in his new office again working on the burned files. The door opens. He turns quickly to see who it is, then relaxes and goes back to work.) MULDER : It would help if you'd shut the door. It would make it harder for them to see that I'm totally disregarding everything I was told. SCULLY : (closing the door) Everything WE were told, Mulder. MULDER : They can't take away the X-Files, Scully. They tried. SCULLY : You know, Agent Fowley's report to OPR painted the facts in an interesting way. I hope you haven't been betrayed. MULDER : (not looking at her) Agent Fowley's report was a means to an end. Trying to protect the work. Protect the X-Files. SCULLY : Mulder, Agent Fowley's report states that the man you saw attacked was bludgeoned by an unknown subject. She makes no mention of a little boy who as it happens, is nowhere to be found. It would seem that her report protects everything but you. MULDER : Agent Fowley took me to that plant at great risk to herself where I saw something that you refuse to believe in. Saw it again, Scully. And though it may not say it in her report, Diana saw it, too. And no matter what you think she's certainly not going to go around saying that just because science can't prove it isn't true. SCULLY : I don't doubt what you saw, Mulder. I don't doubt you. I'm willing to believe, but not in a lie and not in the opposite of what I can prove. It comes down to a matter of trust. (he looks up at her) I guess it always has. MULDER : You asking me to make a choice? SCULLY : I'm asking you to trust my judgment. To trust me. (She hands a folder out to him.) MULDER : I can't accept that. Not if it refutes what I know to be true. SCULLY : Mulder, these are test results. DNA from the claw nail we found matching exactly the DNA from the virus you believe is extraterrestrial. (MULDER takes the folder and looks at the contents.) MULDER : That's the connection. SCULLY : Which matches exactly DNA that was found in Gibson Praise. MULDER : Wait a minute. I don't understand. You're saying that Gibson Praise is infected with the virus? SCULLY : No. It's a part of his DNA. In fact, it's a part of all of our DNA. It's called a genetic remnant. It's inactive junk DNA. Except in Gibson it's turned on. MULDER : So if that were true, that would mean that Gibson is in some part extraterrestrial. SCULLY : It would mean that all of us are.

Mulder put his hand to his forehead. “This is big Scully”

“Well Mulder it might not be. If we can’t prove this came from alien DNA originally, it may just be written off as a human mutation. Without a body Im not sure fingernail clippings will suffice.”

“It can’t be, if its a being with only the inactive part of our DNA it would be like… finding a new neanderthal.”

“The edges of her lips quivered in a trace of a smile. “Last I checked Neanderthals weren’t alien in origin”

“Maybe not but this is a big step. It’s tangible proof of something.” He looked up at her from the pages. “So you saved me.”

“I saved us. Im working for the truth here. Id hope you’d remember that next time I don’t fall in line without evidence.”

“Im sorry I doubted you, Diana and I were left with nothing and you got what we needed. ”

“Agent Fowley was left looking like the hero Mulder. You were left with nothing.”

She turned to go before she could see the expression on his face, but then stopped and thought for a minute. She turned back around.

“And Id appreciate it if you would stop comparing me with Diana Fowley. You might have history with her but Mulder we have five years of partnership. I would hope you would not be so fickle as to throw that away because an old flame gives you a kind word.

I don’t think thats what this was about Scully, I wasn’t comparing you.” Mulder said looking offended. “I was frustrated you didn’t believe me.”

“When I say its a matter of trust. It has nothing to do with her. Its whats between you and me Im talking about. We’ve proven we work well together. Let me do what I do best for you, what I know is right, what you’ve admitted to me that you know is right, without you being…” she searched for the right word

“An ass?” Mulder offered.

She pursing her lips. “So dismissive of my work”.

She continued “Does this” she motioned to her research in the folder he held “not prove to you that I am trying to help you? That I have faith in what you’re doing? What we’re trying to achieve? Or are you so clouded by someones blind belief you no longer see my partnership as helpful to the X Files? To… you?”

She could’ve been nervous to say these things, but she saw her place within this partnership now. He’d told her as much, even if he was being distant since they’d returned from Antarctica. It had meant so much to hear it and Diana wasn’t going to change that. Diana couldn’t change that. Shed tell him the truth even if it meant he thought less of her.

“No, Scully, you’re right.” He said embarrassed. “I just, seeing that spaceship, and aliens bursting out of people… You infected and in that tank. I got a bit… I value your partnership, that hasn’t changed.”

Scully nodded “I do as well. Ill see you tomorrow.”

Mulder said "See you tomorrow" with a searching look at her

She turned and slipped out the door.

End.

#msr fanfic #msr #mulder and scully #xfiles #mulder x scully

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king-of-a-kingless-world · 6 months

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Okay you've clicked a switch in my head, go deeper about the lie detector so I can try to make an argument because if you say "the person that killed that guy is in my group" then that would appear as a truth because it is but if you say "it was one of my other companions" then it would apear as false. Or what do you mean?

thats exactly what i mean and its making me so insane because you can just play with words until your sentence is true but insinuates something other than what happened and if your able to make what you say sound not weird and not be suspicious the person with a skill might not even ask a follow up question so you can effectively get away with lying but not being caught with the lie detector

#orv

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keefwho · 6 months

Text

October 28 - 2023 Saturday

8:30am

I feel some stress because my thoughts are thinking some funny things. Im trying to distance from them. I'm also trying to be okay feeling bad about them. I guess I'm kinda jealous right now and thats an okay thing to feel, even if it's unfounded. I know I'm not going to act on it or let it control me. Its more likely that I would if I tried to push it away. I always feel jealous when Daisy is at a con because I feel like she's having fun with her better friends, totally forgetting about me. I'm always afraid to admit that at the risk of sounding petty but it's only petty if I act on it. I know it's a silly way to feel but that means there should be an easy way out of it. I know this is a result of the difficulty I have with trust which comes from a low self worth. I get the entire mechanism behind this. I think some more acceptance is in order. If I can just accept this is the truth about myself and be upset about it for a little bit instead of acting like I'm not supposed to be this way.

I know she hasn't forgotten about me the same way I'd never forget about her. She believes in me. And I'm starting to believe in me too. I can learn to move past these kinds of feelings. I can either learn to dispel irrational thoughts like this or detach from them, as long as I'm not doing it as a form of suppression. The first step always seems to be acceptance that they are happening.

9:57am

Maybe writing about my feelings more often here could be a way of accepting them. When I really feel like I'm struggling to get it out there. Usually when I say I'm stunlocked, what I mean is that I can't move past something. I'm stuck in a loop. Right now I'm stuck thinking about what exactly I want to have this talk about and I'm pushing myself to try and figure it out right now. But it's a thing that needs time. I'm also really hungry so that could be it. After breakfast I'm gonna take a break and find something to do like draw or something.

3:22pm

Ugh I HATE feelings. I feel like I need to talk about them constantly or do something about them. A result of suppressing them so much maybe??? All I know is I feel stressed again, I got some things on my mind. Nothing too crazy but it's nagging at me and I'd like to be able to let it go so I can actually do something with myself. I'm tired of ruminating so much.

12:15am

This morning I had breakfast a little late, I just wasn't that hungry. I made rice with a vegetable blend stir fried in and some turkey spam. I had a couple pieces of chocolate with my coffee and did Inktober in David's server. Right after I think I played Legendary Tales and got David to do hardcore with me. He died before I did and actually got kinda upset. It's weird to me how averse people are to hardcore. I think the loss is what makes it more meaningful and I never get that mad when I die, even if it's to a bug. He stopped for a little bit but wanted to try again, then I switched to a new character with a bow this time. I was bad at the bow since I haven't used it before. For some reason playing with him wasn't as fun as I thought. I didn't really feel present or maybe I wasn't sure how to coordinate with him. I forgot that we do talk a little bit but not enough to have unspoken chemistry. I wasn't in the head space I guess to be making an effort to synchronize. It was okay though. I took a break from the server to play Cities Skylines and make lunch. For lunch I made a broccoli pizza in my pan. Lowkey boiling it in just a little water makes it come out real nice, not soggy or anything. After lunch I worked on my avatar while watching MoonMoon play some god awful brutal medieval fighting game demo. It was just extremely brutal but funny to watch. I decided to finish porting my skater girl outfit from my nanachi model to my hyenid. I had tried before but didn't think it was gonna work out. I was wrong and it turned out good. I was halfway through a drink by the time I finished and got on VRchat as soon as it was done. I had no plan, no one was on. I joined a furry world for a little bit but couldn't insert myself anywhere. I joined a random public and had very brief conversation about a cool music video. I asked Daisy about the VR portal and she said it was empty and I just so happened to have someone on my friends list on blue who was in the portal world. After multiple attempts I was able to get in and found that the VR world was pretty empty and the stream was actually loading so I told Daisy and she made it to the portal. It was amazing seeing her there. I've never seen her quite like that, it's like I was in the room with her almost. It wasn't quite like that for her I imagine since I was in my avatar. It gave me some weird perspective on things, in a good way. Goodtimes joined too, he had messaged me earlier today but I didn't know what to say to him. He said he wondered what we'd been up to and coincidentally I've been wondering about him. I was even gonna talk to Daisy about him and Golden Star and how we had this relatively brief group of sorts that I miss. After the portal closed down, Goodtimes took me to a floating island world I'd been to before. We were trying to find 2/4 koroks but we made no progress. Golden Star happened to join too and wasn't totally horny (yet). I got off to finish dinner and play a little more Cities.

#journal #diary

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