#this is literally worse than romeo and juliet

[sunshine-and-misery-migrated]

i watched Dead Poets Society a few days ago and havent been the same since:( just been thinking about how Todd grieves, its the purest form i have ever seen. like at least once a day i have thought of that one scene and almost started crying. just the thought of feeling so much emotional pain, the chock, the throwing up, the nonsensical screaming and the pure p a i n he must have felt… imagine loving someone so much that the loss of them feels like the loss of yourself,..

#dead poets society #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #grief #im just blown away every time i think of it #ramblings #thoughts #idk i just had a breakdown because of them #sobbing #this is literally worse than romeo and juliet #because they didnt even reunite in death #i am so normal about them #:(

[cto10121]

Waking Romeo (2021)—Review Part 1

In which I finally reread Kathryn Barker’s Waking Romeo, a YA sci-fi Wuthering Heights/Romeo and Juliet crossover featuring time travel, Romeo the Death Eater, and *checks notes* Juliet/Heathcliff endgame. Yeah, not even joking. This time around the time travel stuff did make a whole lot more sense. Unfortunately it made everything else all the more ridiculous. Spoilers, of course, because I literally cannot.

So in this latest entry into published R&J fanfic, people have unfortunately discovered how to time travel. Unfortunate because they only knew how to go forwards, and not backwards, leading to a crapbasket hellish present what with Travellers disrupting and changing the past too much. Our Juliet comes from a family of Settlers, those who have eschewed time traveling altogether and created a settlement in London, and they have a feud with the similar Montagues (which—I kid you not—plays absolutely no role in this story whatsoever. Like, none.)

Juliet (now a jaded Jules) has recently recovered from a failed suicide with a dead arm and her Romeo is now in a coma. She visits him every day for the past two years, though, and even begins to write a play in iambic pentameter about their affair—literally, R&J, in the style of Shakespeare, Jules’ favorite author. But of course one day she meets a boy—Heathcliff Ellis, part of a group of time travelers known as the Deadenders, led by a mysterious AI called Frogs. Ellis is a dark-skinned boy from the 19th century and recovering from his own tragic love affair with Emily Brontë, who wrote the tale of their doomed love known as Wuthering Heights. Only she decided to portray a perfectly nice and basic Ellis as a rough bodice ripper alpha male aggressively antagonistic love interest. Ouch.

Rescued from a grisly fate by the leader of the Deadenders (three guesses who) Ellis now has his latest mission: To wake Romeo from his coma, as he and Juliet are the parents of the future Deadender leader. Without them getting together and having a son, the Deadenders would cease to exist and Frogs would be no more. Ellis and Jules team up with time travel shenanigans and of course catch feels. The rest is wild and slightly entertaining bullshit, with alternating Jules POV and Ellis POV. Let’s just get on with it.

[Jules POV] Rosaline takes the stage, all pretty, blond, and clean. She gives an exaggerated sniff, though not until everyone's quiet, so as not to waste it. Even from here I can see that her big blue eyes have just the right amount of wet—enough to prove she's still grieving after all this time, yet not so much that it smudges her coveted mascara.

“It's been two years," she says softly, then gives a dramatic pause. It hasn't been two years, you self-aggrandizing cow. It's been one year, eleven months, and thirty days. […]

The girl really does live for such stuff. I don't know how she managed to spin it the way she did, but serious props for a job well done. Nobody remembers the pesky little detail about how she dumped him and broke his heart. Hell no. In the retelling, she was his one great love and I was just the little skank who killed him. Well, mostly killed him, if you're getting all technical.

Aaaaand right away I want to stab something. It’s arguably even worse at the end, when Jules and Rosaline become friends for no good reason. No development, none at all. And of course there is the anti dumb of any version of Rosaline dating/caring for Romeo.

From behind a wall of dark fringe, I see that Romeo’s besties have spied me. Laurence is keeping it simple with a fairly standard glare. Paris has gone one better, mouthing "crazy" at me from across the chapel. (5)

So this is the first indicator that this Romeo is very different than his canon personality—as in, he is an asshole with asshole friends. Unfortunately Jules is made dumber than bricks and does not realize the red flags until the very end.

[Ellis POV] DEMONSTRABLY SUPERIOR

"Our jumps are—"

ALMOST EMBARRASSINGLY SO

“—are programmed by an AI called Frogs, who is prone to interrupting," finishes Iggy, zooming in on the top level of the bus, where the circuitry that constitutes Frogs is contained.

BUT YOU ALL ADORE ME. DON'T YOU, MY LITTLE FLOCK?

And here we are with an introduction to Frogs, who is Romeo and Juliet’s genius son. Yeah, this is meant to be a plot twist, but on the second rereading it’s clear enough that Frogs is human. Yeah. Casual reminder that in this book where Romeo is Death Eatered and Juliet falls for a nicer Heathcliff, their son is a de facto genius. Because ~drugs, of course.

[Jules POV] Writing what really happened with Romeo and me was all a bit close to the bone, so I changed things around a little. I set it way back in the past, with lots of silly clothes and frilly honor. Then, to top it all off, I wrote it in iambic pentameter. Why? Because when it comes to William Shakespeare, I'm a tragic. Seriously—I'm the ultimate fan. Even as a kid, I couldn't get enough of his plays—the irony of all those timeless themes when time is precisely what broke us. I guess a homage to him seemed only fitting. Not that Shakespeare ever wrote about stuff like teenage love, Montagues versus Capulets, or any of my other real-life dramas. And yet, fool that I am, I mimicked the Bard.

I’m a masochist, apparently.

What you are is bullshit. Even for YA shit, this is too ridiculous to consider. Just the psychological implausibility of a modern 21st century teen girl whatever able to write in 16th century verse about her very modern love affair gives me agita.

[Jules POV] I suppose he's aged—technically, he must have, though sure can't see it. To me, he looks exactly like he did the day that everything went wrong. Fair skin, blond hair, pretty eyes eternally closed—yep, he's your regular sleeping beauty. Except, of course, without the storybook ending.

[studio audience groan] Blond Romeo strikes again. Seriously, what is the appeal??? Hell, even the rationale? Even the first Romeo, Richard Burbage, was not at all blond. Leo DiCaprio has done incalculable damage indeed.

[Jules POV] It sounds ridiculous, but I don't really know if Romeo's seen me naked. We only slept together that one time and it was dark and cold, so there were plenty of blankets. Maybe he didn't see me at all. I wish I knew. In the grand scheme of true love, I know it shouldn't matter and yet I can't help it. Now that there's even a chance he might wake, I'm worried. Right from the start, Romeo bombed me with love—petards of affection, blowing my praise at the moon. He was always comparing me to a summer's day or linking love to beauty. I didn't care back then because I thought I fit the bill, but now? I don't know—I just hope that true love can admit impediments. (62)

Romeo compared Juliet to the sun, not a summer’s day. And that was in his own soliloquy-monologue. To Juliet his metaphors are much more action-oriented. Either way, already it’s plenty obvious this Romeo is a tosser and already I have a dim view of this Jules’ intelligence.

[Jules POV] Looking down, I can't help picturing that scene from my story. The one with Romeo beneath my window, full period costume, gazing up at me with total adoration. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun! Those weren't his exact words, of course. It's what he meant, though, more or less. Basically speaking.

What part of “soliloquy” and “Romeo never directed those words to Juliet, those are his own private thoughts” do these people not understand????

Anyway, soon Ellis comes into the picture and we get a series of tedious comparisons and Not Like Other Girls-ing going on.

[Ellis POV] “The bolt cutters are in there,” she says, dropping her backpack on the ground at my feet.

Now, I might have been born at a time when chivalry was thriving, but I have never liked the women who simply expect it. Besides, Jules seems far from helpless. She handled herself very adequately back there with the lads on bicycles. (68)

Because of course a 19th century boy would 110% accept the assertiveness of a 21st century teen girl with no trouble. No thoughts, head empty.

[Jules POV] Ellis smiles. I scrutinize his face, trying to work out what game he's playing. I don't remember him having stubble before. Huh. I guess I'm too used to staring at Romeo's face, always smooth as a baby. (79)

Because Romeo isn’t manly, get it? He is the embodiment of toxic male entitlement and cis het boorishness, but he is also a wittle twink, get it? Meanwhile Ellis is tough and manly but also respectful and sensitive. What do you mean, this makes no sense?

[Ellis POV] Iggy reminds us. “Pretty much everyone still left here is desperate to jump. How are we going to get our hands on any?”

“I don't know,” I say, “though Beth is right.” I look around at my friends, the Deadenders. This is what we have been training for. This is what we cheated death for. “Somehow, we must save Jules. And wake Romeo. They have to be together. Everything—the whole future—depends on the two of them being together.” (84)

So the plan is to get the Cat-9 drug that can get Romeo out of his coma, and a mysterious note that appears on Jules’ book specifies “by first nightfall.” Which means Ellis and Jules spend about roughly the same amount of time as canon R&J in spending time together and falling in love, most likely even less. I’m sure the book won’t try to make their love for each other the true love and disparage R&J only for it to retcon the whole thing and hastily try to claim Jules didn’t fall in love with Ellis, she only loved him later on, right????

[Jules POV] When I arrived in the crypt that terrible night, I thought Romeo was dead. He looked dead. There was a faint pulse, apparently, but I sure as hell couldn’t find it. So, to my mind: dead. And here's the thing—I couldn't imagine anything more awful. Romeo not breathing? Most. Tragic. Thing. Ever. (101)

So I can’t help but noticing that in this AU Jules pretty much takes the role of Canon Romeo, and even appropriates a lot of his lines, claiming she is the one who came up with them. And of course, it’s Romeo in the coma, not Jules. I’m just saying that had Jules been male and Romeo in the coma had been female, this emotional cheating plot wouldn’t have flown for YA readers.

[Jules POV] I wipe some of the vomit off my hair. Then I keep staring at the puddle of sick on the floor so I don't have to look up again.

“Are you finished?” asks Ellis once the dry heaves have stopped. His tone is gruff, but he's moved to block my view of the Picassoed girl. It means stepping in puke, although he doesn't seem to care. Romeo would care. Romeo would find it all very disgusting. He wore nice shoes—loafers. Maybe the last pair of loafers left in all of creation. They were lovely. He took proper care of them. (101)

Because Romeo “I climbed a high-ass garden wall and killed Tybalt and Paris easily even though they are canonically dedicated duelist/older than me and turned into Cell Games Gohan the moment I heard Juliet was dead” Montague would be all precious about his shoes!!! Why can’t he be as manly as Ellis?????

[Jules POV] The old man starts eating hungrily. Ellis gave his last bit of food to a total stranger, I realize. Romeo never once did a noble deed without wanting praise. Yet Ellis tried to hide it?

Because Romeo “I gave my life for my true love and deeply regretted killing Tybalt and asked his corpse for forgiveness in the middle of my suicide” Montague never did a noble deed without wanting praise!!! This Romeo is basically an OC.

[Jules POV] I was wrong before. There aren’t two versions of Ellis, like some dramatic disconnect—Jules versus Juliet. The boy I met in the Chinese restaurant? The one who told me to trust my heart…and who said that I was smart and brave and beautiful and strong…and who died for me? He's the real one. Ellis can pretend all he wants, but I see him now. And once you've truly seen a person…well, unlike with time, there really is no going back.

So Jules met Future Ellis, who of course is in love with her and is all perfectly lovely to her, and so even though Present Ellis is snappish at her, she suddenly ~knows Future Ellis is the true version of this guy she just met two minutes ago??? Fuck you, book. Really.

[Ellis POV] Jules stares up at a murder of crows that have started to circle. After a moment, she says, “Our parents hated each other. Romeo and me being together...it was forbidden."

Yes, I understand forbidden all too well. A dark-skinned brat, a gypsy imp of Satan—that is what Mr. Brontë called me when he read Emily's journal. When he discovered that his daughter loved a boy who was not white. It was October of 1831, in the kitchen of their home. Mr. Brontë waved the journal around in a terrible rage. Emily stood her ground, refusing to apologize. (106-107)

Here we have Ellis’ backstory. Yes, he was supposedly the real-life inspiration of Brontë’s Byronic male love interest. I don’t know much about the real life of the Brontës, but I’m fairly sure this is all completely invented and Heathcliff is not based on any real-life amours of Brontë—I heavily doubt she even had any.

[Jules POV] We wait, frozen, which I guess is ironic. Because hasn't that been my life before today? Frozen in time, waiting for Romeo to wake? A life officially on hold?

I glance at Ellis; he's biting his lip again. It reminds me of a line from my play—this thing that I wrote about two blushing pilgrims. I was describing Romeo's lips. Thinking about it now, I wonder why I chose such delicate, bashful words. If I had to describe Ellis's lips, I'd—

No, never mind. (129)

The two blushing pilgrims is a religious-style metaphor framing Romeo as a pilgrim to Juliet’s saint. They are definitely not bashful at all, but some of the most blatantly erotic lines in Shakespeare. It’s such an effective come-on that the notion of this vapid airheaded Jules coming up with that metaphor is completely ludicrous.

[Ellis POV] "All of them," he says, quietly. "Every single era of humankind—past, present, future. Every time, the color of my skin has been an issue. Hate has been an issue.” (130)

Ellis had been a time traveller for years and yet he has never even heard of the words “Africa, Middle East, South Asia, Latin America” or “Xenophobia is not the same as racism.” And it shows.

I remember the wedding that I gave to myself, like a gift, in my story: quaint little church, flowers and candles, longing gazes, heartfelt vows, full period costume. Then the image morphs into what really happened: church smelling of piss, pews piled tall, graffiti everywhere. Romeo high as a kite, tongue-in-cheek as he slid the ring onto my finger…

I tell myself that the ring doesn't matter, except that’s a huge lie. The band of gold does matter, though not because of its connection to my husband. Romeo never gave me a ring—he forgot, so we used one of mine. It belonged to my mother. She gave it to me back when I was little and we were close. Before she became nothing more to me than a source of dramatic tension. (131)

Again, Jules’ lack of brain cells regarding her Romeo’s true nature is astounding. This is explained later on as a defense mechanism over Tybalt’s death and losing her baby (so she believed). But since Jules rarely if ever mentions Tybalt and the baby isn’t even so much as hinted at, all this delusion and make-believe rings so false. Jules almost died—to any sensible person this would be enough of a wake-up call.

When I first met her, I thought she was like Romeo—that they were peas in a pod. Well, not that kind of pod. Now I am starting to think it is a case of opposites attract. She is the wild one, and he is the conformist. (135)

When Ellis met Juliet, he didn’t even know Romeo, he literally just met him in a coma. He also had no other info about Romeo other than he would be Juliet’s husband and Frogs’ future father. How the fuck could he have gotten “Ah, yes, soulmate vibes, 10/10” out of Romeo lying there motionless???? Or even “Er, never mind, he is clearly the conformist to Juliet’s ~wildness”???? This novel is killing me. I’m just going to stop here for now before I really lose it.

#romeo and juliet #cristina reads #waking romeo #kathryn barker #oh god this book is better and worse than i remember #rj hate dumb #r&j hate dumb #romeo hate dumb #also the fact that jules literally visited romeo every day for two years straight #but ofc they are not endgame

[yulin-pop]

⤷ ✧ Why does love?

Gender neutral

- order 77 | headcanons | First Years (Housewardens too ig)

Ace Trappola

Out of all people— you have a crush on Riddle?! He silently judges you for this. At first he thought you were just playing around trying to get a reaction out of him.

He was in denial for a bit before noticing how every time you “came to hang out” with him and Deuce, you gravitated towards Riddle. You always hugged him when you saw him and after a while complete ditched your best friends for their housewarden!

Now Ace will never stop mentioning your crush on Riddle. You’ll casually be reading Romeo and Juliet for class and he’s like “You and Riddle?” Just to make fun of you.

He is definitely not supportive. You saw how he was at the beginning of the school year— just a little bratty tyrant. And yes he did indeed change, but even now how could you be attracted to him.

“Riddle is really sweet though. Say, will you help set me up with—“

“Hell no.”

Honestly he would understand if it was Trey or even Cater but Riddle is bottom of the barrel in his eyes.

What’s even more frustrating is that Riddle definitely likes you back. He is way more tolerant of you misdeeds than anyone else. Riddle is always asking about you to him and Deuce. Like, where you are and if you’re struggling on any subject. Such a caring boyfriend…

Deuce Spade

Ehehe, what? It was unthinkable for you to have a crush on Riddle Rosehearts. He wasn’t sure if you were joking until you had to prove you were serious.

“Riddle, do you wanna go on a date?”

“D-date? I’ll see if I have time…” He bashfully said.

“AHHHHH THEY WERE SERIOUS?!”

Deuce is supportive unlike Acey-Wacey. He supportive by default but he really wants you to think hard when you say you have a crush on Riddle. The heart wants what it wants, he understands that. He promises to be at your wedding when the time comes.

Make him the flower boy!!

Jack Howl

Oh wow. That’s all he really could say. You two were just walking to the library together to return some books having a small conversation until you said “Leona is so hot I want him so bad.” Like wow maybe a warning next time. He really doesn’t know what to say. He just gives you a look.

He knows Leona isn’t a bad guy and he is very much not against it but what does it have to do with him?

Apparently you like guys who act cold because you really don’t care that Leona seems not to have any interest. You followed him around and he kinda just allows you to.

“No way, he totally likes me back. He literally sent Ruggie away to spend alone time with me.”

“Wait, really?”

It’s kinda hard to imagine that you actually made some progress with him. He usually tells you if Leona is in a bad mood or where he is. And you run across the school just to say hi to him. Maybe true love does exist.

Epel Felmier

Damn he knew something was up! He didn’t understand why you always wanted to go to Pomefiore, you always used the excuse that you wanted to hang out with him but you didn’t really hang out with him. You hung around Vil.

You denied having a crush on Vil but he noticed you were being love-dovey about things and smiling to yourself. You were making it too obvious but Vil was making it worse.

Always doting on you and walk you to class in the morning or some times you walk him to class even if you get marked tardy. He always has to fix your tie and fix your hair. Epel thinks you do it on purpose so Vil will care for you.

At some point you stopped lying to him when he started asking too many questions about your relations with Vil.

“Okay I’ll be honest. I don’t like Vil.”

“Be fer real—“

“I love Vil!♡︎”

He’s never falling for your lies of “Can I hang out at your dorm?” ever again. He will physically kick you out of Pomefiore the next time he sees you.

He really doesn’t blame you that much. Vil is well known, rich, and pretty so it makes sense but he won’t forgive you.

Ortho Shroud

The only one that genuinely supports. He’s actually really glad it’s you since you’re his friend so he knows you’re not a bad person. There’s plenty of people who just want the money from the Shroud name but he knows that doesn’t matter to you.

He’s also just afraid that Idia would end up alone. As said before, a majority of people would try to get with him for the money. Trust me he will be your wingman throughout all of this. He’s always talking about how great his big brother is to you.

“Idia is just amazing! He coded a game all by himself.”

“That’s so cool!”

“Also Idia mentioned you today.”

“Oh my goodness, what did he say?”

He’s always setting you two up to see each other and make it seem like a coincidence that you too have been bumping into each other so much.

What’s perfect is that Idia likes you back too! Ortho straight up asked him, do you like MC one time and Idia short circuited.

“L-L-L-L-Like?! Nonononononono Ortho what are you thinking?! Some weirdo like me could never even think about a relationship with someone so cute and kind!”

“Ooo you’re blushing! Your hair is turning pink.”

Blushing, hiding his face, laughing, everything else. Idia tries not to talk about you but he’s always asking Ortho what you were doing today and such.

He has the wedding all planned out. He’s determined to set you two up. He wants one of you to confess first. Even though he knows for sure that it’s a mutual feeling, he wants you two to figure that out on your own.

Sebek Zigvolt

When you started spouting nonsense about a crush and how lovely he was, he just brushed it off. He wasn’t interested in your romantic life one bit.

He never would’ve guessed it was his young master that you were trying to romance. And unfortunately it was working.

He didn’t understand why Malleus came back smiling to himself or muttering something under his breath. He also started playing around a little more. All very positive changes.

At the same time you were blushy and talked about being exciting for night to come so you can meet him. Whoever that him is, hope he’s ready to deal with your silliness.

When you gave Malleus an invitation to VDC, Malleus was positively glowing. He was blushing and rolling around on his bed holding the invite like a lovesick school girl. Malleus was definitely in love.

Ace, Epel, and Deuce mention it later.

“I thought it was just some random dude. I can’t believe you were flirting with Malleus Draconia…”

He wanted to laugh, what an odd joke. “Are you talking about some sort of a dream?”

The three stare at each other than at you.

“That dude MC was droolin’ over was Malleus Draconia.”

Sebek immediately is engulfed with shock. He’s in denial for a bit until he looks at you and shakes you back and forth.

“You… monster! You charmed the Young Master!! You are a lowly human, you are in no way worthy of a Royal fae like Malleus! Do you hear me?!”

He’s super mad and his week is officially ruined. It tells Lilia and Silver about it and Lilia just giggles while Silver congratulates him on finding love.

Lilia thinks is cute how you fell first but Malleus fell way harder.

Now they know where Malleus runs off to at night. He feels stupid since it was kinda obvious if he just looked into it more. He just hopes that you will treat his young master right and he’s happy (begrudgingly).

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twst #deuce spade x reader #ace trappola x reader #epel felmier x reader #deuce spade #riddle rosehearts x reader #idia shroud x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #jack howl x reader #malleus draconia x reader #leona kingscholar x reader

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

It's easy to think that Diane annoys Hobie. She's nearly always at his side, talking his ear off about something or the other, laughing at all his jokes as if they were the funniest thing ever.

With Hobie being Mr.'Cool This Whole Time', it was easy to the get the impression.

Usually that's because people don't see what happens when she doesn't pay attention to him.

Hobie's an attention whore.

DiscoPunk: Hobie x OC!Diane

He's DYING for her Attention

Miguel gives her a particularly paperwork heavy task that she needs to focus on, and suddenly it's

'You're ignoring me?' (she isn't, if anything she's looking right at him.)

It's 'What, you don't like me no more?' or 'I'm dying of boredom. If you even care-' or 'torture, this is.'

It's him poking her side, or making kissy noises at her, or singing out of tune songs about the horrors of Boredom and Loneliness

It's like suddenly he has NOTHING BETTER TO DO other than annoying her in anyway possible.

She tries to get any work done -

He'll pester her, asking her to play games like 21 questions, then he'll purposely mess with the game to see if she notices.

He asks her stuff like 'Would you love me if I were a worm?' then acts like he's taking it personal

If she's not looking DIRECTLY at him he starts stealing shit. He's not quiet about it either.

'Put it back.' - 'Put what back where?'

Everyone on campus: 'Ugh, Diane can be so annoying, all she does is bug Hobie-'

HE'S THE ANNOYING ONE

Hobie Brown is a self-employed PROFESSIONAL NUISANCE

It's the LGS (lead guitarist syndrome)

He acts like if he doesn't get the attention he's going to literally explode as in physically combust 'kablooie' into dust right now.

Diane hasn't told him he's adorable in the last twenty minutes. Do you know what that does to a man? The world has forsaken him

The girl can't get any peace.

Margo has heard Diane say "Hobie, for the love of God'-" at least once every shift.

Margo is like 'tell him to go away'

She does, but all he does is leave her line of sight but stand close enough for her to hear his dramatic 'dejected' sighs like a puppy waiting outside the bathroom

If she tells him 'I really need to do this. I'll be off in 45 minutes, can you not die until then?'

All of a sudden Mr.'I don't believe in punctuality' is hanging out in the doorway EXACTLY 45 minutes later like-

'45 minutes, Di. You said 45, right?'

Oh NOW he can tell time. Okay, okay. Yeah.

She's like 'You see me doing this right? You see this work in my hands. The work in doing?'

It's the most frustrating thing in the world.

'You think this is funny?' - 'I really do.'

'I really hate you.' - 'You really don't.'

Unlike SOME people she tries to do her job and suddenly he's like 'I can't believe I lost you to capitalism'

'Look at this, they've got my girl slaving away for The Man. Sad, this is. The exploitation of labor here and now-' (he's being dramatic. she tells him this. he says 'I'll show you dramatic' and flops on her, pretending to die)

And Diane's like 'It's not capitalism. Miguel doesn't even pay me money'

And Hobies like 'DIANE THAT'S INFINITELY WORSE'

She gives him attention because he dies Romeo and Juliet style the second she doesn't 😭😭

She's a second away from being like

'brotha I've about had it with you'

She even goes to Miguel.

She begs him to do something about Hobie. 'Give him ANYTHING to do.' she begs 'Anything at all. There's no way I can do my job with his mind games-'

Miguel's like 'actually that IS your job. If he's bugging you he's not blowing something up. Plus it's the only way to get him to actually comes to campus.'

Hobie annoying her IS her job 😭😭 If he's messing with her he's not messing with Miguel so she has to take one for the team

Diane's like 'but he's SO ANNOYING'

'Glad you finally realized that, Diane.'

'*dejected Hobie sigh from the doorway*'

'GO AWAY.'

#pic: your fave is actually annoying in canon #🥺🥺🥺🥺 #feels SO good writing something for DiscoPunk #I've been really busy but THIS HAS CATHARTIC #spiderman #atsv #spider man #marvel #across the spiderverse #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #discopunk #DiscoSpider #hobie brown x oc #Hobie x oc #Hobie x Diane

[crazyw3irdo]

hi, I just want to ask; What compelled you to make that Romeo and Juliet quiz

i’d wanted to make a r&j personality quiz for a bit- hell, when i opened uquiz to make it i realized i already had a drafted version saved over a year ago, but it had no questions, just the title. i considered making it like, a normal quiz, but… i didn’t think anyone would really get it y’know? it’d probably be seen by a couple people, be just some random quiz, and everyone would move on.

i love romeo and juliet, and i want other people to too. if i made it normal, only people who already liked it would get it. i reblogged my original post with some tags of people reacting to it pretty quick too, to try and show yknow, it’s more than what it says on the tin, because i figured if i’m some random person whose only understanding of r&j is pop culture stuff, i’m not gonna click on a personality quiz for it. there’s only like, two characters anyone knows, and unfortunately the common perception of them is just stupid teenagers.

thing is, i had no ideas for questions for a while. none at all. the other day, though, i remembered that post circulating that was a screenshot of a quiz someone made where, iirc, the question was “you are orpheus” and the only option was “turn around.” and the idea popped into my head immediately for “do you believe in free will” with the only option being “no.” going only off that idea i rode the hyperfixation and created that quiz! i made the questions in whatever order and then rearranged them so that they got… for lack of a better term, worse as they went on.

oh, and two things i haven’t yet mentioned! first off, i was gonna include an obligatory song lyric question at first, but uh… i could only come up with two answers lol. they were “it ain’t about all the friends you made but the graffiti they write on your grave” for mercutio and “raised in the city in the halo of lights product of war and fear that we’ve been victimized” for tybalt.

the other thing is uh. i thought the quiz was funny lol. like some heavy themes and stuff but the free will question was hilarious to me lol. idk ive just… never really been bothered by whether it’s A Thing or not? the way i see it is: if we have it, then great! we can do whatever! if we don’t have it, then whatever! we’ll be doing stuff anyways! as for the character descriptions and things, i literally was just describing the characters in second person and changing some things to be more generic (i.e. changing “she” to “they” in the nurse’s description so that instead of referring to juliet it could be about anyone)

#tldr: wanted to do it for a while then in a moment of my ADHD clicking into place with my autism i typed it out in an hour or so #crazwaz posted #audience participation

[darkcrowprincess]

Something that always struck me as odd is how people criticize the story of Romeo & Juliet for having fallen in love within like 3?? days (i dont know the the exact time) but yet don't apply the same logic to fairytales. Like you're telling me two teens in love is worse than a girl getting immediately married to some guy who kissed her while she was in a literal glass coffin and she happened to wake up??? Kind of weird tbh-

To make sense of falling in love so quickly I always see it as fate and reincarnation at play in the story. But thats just me. People who try to be bring logic into fairy tales and plays like romeo and juliet also fail to take something big into account. The time period of when the original is made. Women of high ranking status where not allowed to date. The most they can do is "courting" which was basically a soft whooing of sorts of the girl with the parents permission and supervision of the parents. The agreement that marriage will be happening in the future(and if said agreement was broken it was seen as something really bad and just not done) the most women could hope for was a husband who was nice. Love never was usually involved. Marriages usually(especially with rich and royalty. But farmers did it too) where business agreements. Women could not own land or money. Women always had to be taken care of by men. Very rarely were they left with anything.

Why fairy tales and Romeo and Juliet were such big things in their time because love and happily ever afters were never options for young girls or women. Girls didn't get a choice. But Juliet in her play does. She feels lust/love/attraction/honest interest in what she has to say from Romeo and she jumps on it. Partly yes because she is young. But also so she can have agency. Make her own choices. She feels nothing for Pairs but she feels something for Romeo. When will a girl in her situation ever get something like that again?

So yes they fall in love quickly, but Juliet has always been in charge of things. Shes always the one making the choices. Yes people in fairy tales have even less time to fall in love them. But at least they had the option of love and happily ever afters. Most women (and even men) didn't even have that. These stories and plays gave people hope of the possibility of love in a time when that was not possible.

#my thoughts #romeo and juliet #fairy tales #Love #romance #Marriage

[lediz-watches]

Hazbin Hotel Pilot (kinda)

Yeah, I'm either three years late or three months early, but I'm here now and I'm documenting this for the sake of posterity, because SOMETHING is going to come out in January and the internet deserves to laugh at it.

Finally watched the pilot about a month ago. Loved it. Love the songs. Love Alastor because of fucking course I do. Love Angel Dust despite myself. Want to watch Charlie's story. Love it all. Am addicted to the fan songs. (One hell of a team and Radio Play are currently on repeat in my soul.) Hate fandom already. Miraculous Ladybug eat your goddamn heart out. No matter what happens, some part of the audience is going to hate it.

This post is actually more about why, than the pilot itself.

Before I get into it, I have to admit something. It's pertinent, I promise.

When Twilight was a thing, I heard all the hatred for it and believed it, but my sister was into it and I believe in giving everything a shot, so I read it too, expecting to hate it. And spoiler alert, by the final book, I LOATHED it. I literally had to stop myself from throwing that stupid thing across the room at least twice. But before that final book, I was so foolishly impressed.

Not by the writing, especially, but by what I thought it was doing. Because I looked at the characters and what I thought they were, and I thought that was so cool and subversive. An eternal teenager who was made a vampire against his will by a loving father figure. An immortal stuck in the body and emotions and hormones of a seventeen year old. And he falls in love for the first time. Could you IMAGINE anything worse? And a girl who swans (hah. Unintentional) into a new town and a new life, who also falls in love, but grows out of being seventeen. And there were these parallels! Romeo and Juliet! The fourteen year old trying to escape a life she didn't want, swept up in first love with an older lover! The idiot nineteen year old who's so desperate to Live His Life that he kills himself over a summer fling! THE PARALLELS, MY FRIENDS.

Yeah, I... I misinterpreted that one a little.

But this is the thing that we so often do with TV shows (and book trilogies....). We are watching and consuming something that is not complete, and in doing so we make assumptions and cling to things that may not actually be there. Edward was not an eternal seventeen year old, and Bella was not a normal girl growing into a young woman. It was a terrible, trashy, vaguely Mormon-propaganda teen romance that probably started as a Labyrinth fanfic, don't @ me.

(I love Labyrinth by the way, please don't come for my head)

Now, with Hazbin Hotel, and especially with Alastor, fandom is doing that in several different ways. Some of the fandom want him to be Evil Incarnate, here to corrupt the innocent and pure-hearted Charlie. Some of the fandom want him to be Bugs Bunny With Teeth. Some of the fandom (ie, I) want him to be Creepy Good and/or Do Evil Unto Evil (because that's what Louisiana Voodoo actually is, and it's so cool and I want to see a show do deals-with-the-other-side-for-good well andandand). Some people want him to be weak, some people want him to be super powerful, I would find it super interesting if he's super powerful because he's sold his soul to some greater power that's just using him to manipulate Hell... (today I was thinking about What If Lilith Is The Mastermind????)(also, ask me about my idea for a plot where he's actually a pawn to Heaven's worst)

No matter what happens with Alastor, some part of the fandom is going to be FURIOUS.

Now, for me, yes he's my favourite character from the Pilot, but the most important thing he does is provide a foil to Charlie, who is 100% the main character, and SHE is what's going to make or break the show for me.

Because the way I'm reading HER is that she's a preppy little private school girl that wants to save the whales and feed the children in Africa. She's taking gap years, she's doing voluntourism, she's holding charity balls for the homeless, she's taking cheesy photos in front of Homes She Built For The Kids and then gushing on Instagram about how she was hashtag blessed and got to feed the elephants.

The story I've read in this pilot, and the story I'm interested in, is that private school girl getting absolutely slapped down, so she can build back up into an actual good leader; stronger and better than her parents never even tried to be.

For me, the story I'm interested in, is all of the characters learning that redemption and goodness isn't some goal to achieve. It's a path. And sometimes, you find it only in the people around you. You shouldn't be good to get into Heaven, you should be good because you want to be good. Because you want to be there for your friends. It's about choice, and who you want to be. You make your own Heaven.

And to that end, I don't want Alastor to be the Evil Saboteur. I just want him to be her foil. Her equal and opposite, in every way that matters.

I want him to be evil only to those who deserve it, but be incapable of seeing himself as anything but worse still, even while everyone around him knows he's actually on the right team. The inverse of Charlie's arrogant light and hope.

I want him to push her, to challenge her, to be constantly watching and mocking and I want it to be a constant struggle between which of them is right or wrong about the sinners. I want them to represent the two sides of western religious ethics - the carrot and the stick. Be good so you're rewarded, or be good because torment awaits those who aren't. I want them to end up a platonic but perfect team, leading Hell's sinners out of this eternal struggle to survive and into afterlives they actually want to live.

But I don't know if that's what we're going to get. There are so many ways to read the second half of the pilot. Alastor rolling his eyes when Charlie tells him no voodoo, only to immediately offer a deal? The fact that Charlie, who effortlessly warps reality with her song, can't fix up the hotel or feed anyone, while Alastor, a supposedly mere human sinner, completely transforms everything with a few clicks of his fingers. The way Alastor treats Husk and Niffty - the way they respond to him! Niffty barely acknowledges this guy who we all assume owns her soul, and there are whole essays that could be written about how Husk responds to Alastor in general.

And outside the two of them, these characters are all so good! Angel Dust. I am not invested in his story (we've seen it before), but I ADORE him. A character that's so comfortable in his masculinity, and still considers himself a man, even as he wears women's clothing and works in a feminine industry and suffers a traditionally feminine tragedy. And he's so deadpan and snarky and horrible and I LOVE HIM. I'm not invested in his story, but I WANT TO WATCH IT.

Sir Pentious. What the hell is up with him? I must know more. I must cringe and groan and see him fail and then get back up to fail again.

Vaggie. What is she doing in Hell? HOW DID SHE DIE? How did she hook up with the king's daughter? Why is she signed onto this endeavour that she clearly doesn't really believe in?

I NEED IT.

So yeah. I will probably be disappointed, but god damn am I looking forward to this thing.

#hazbin hotel #reading the pilot #I love characters #I love characters that are foils to each other #I want a discussion of hope and cynicism #also show tunes #give me the musical numbers #fandom critical #fan interpretations #and all that jazz

[apoptoses]

Devil’s minion Armand loved blade runner and time bandits, but do you think there’s any newer movies or just ones he found out about later that he took a liking too? And of course i have to bring Daniel into this so what are some of your movie hcs for him?

Oh man, I think Armand is someone who will watch just about anything, but specifically-

-Weird A24 movies, the more psychological and shocking the better. He's 500 years old so he's got a high bar for being surprised, and I think stuff like the Lighthouse would really grab him. It's weird, it's homoerotic, it has undertones of greek mythology he can explain at Daniel. He's into it.

-All those period pieces that came out in the 90s/early 2000s. Daniel finds watching them with him insufferable because Armand sits there and picks at the inaccuracies ("Paris was hardly ever so clean, and no one wore snow white wigs in such a fashion-" "Yeah, yeah, I get it, the costumes suck, we've been over this a thousand fucking times"). But his nitpicking is just a cover to keep it from being obvious that even he is weak for a good Mr. Darcy declaration of love.

-He loves a modern retelling of a classic. Baz Lurhmann's Romeo + Juliet? He was obsessed, seeing Shakespeare molded into something which a modern audience could identify with thrilled him. 10 Things I Hate About You? Daniel spent hours listening to how it was a retelling of Taming of the Shrew. Clueless? "Daniel, did you realize this is based on a Jane Austen novel which was quite popular when it debuted-" "Armand there's literally a thousand articles on the internet pointing that out."

(Lestat joins them on modern Shakespeare nights, much to their mutual delight, and commentates through the entire film)

-He's still a sci-fi fan, he likes things that explore technology humans have yet to develop. He spent time watching Star Trek with Daniel in the 70s and got tickets to the premiere of Star Trek Beyond for him and Daniel in 2016.

-Both of them are Cronenberg weirdos, it's just facts. Videodrome? Crash? The Brood? Dead Ringers? They're into his psychosexual weirdness.

-Daniel specifically enjoys film adaptations of books, for better or worse. Kubrick's The Shining he had mixed feelings on (they changed the ending!!), Lord of the Rings he read as a child and he loved the film version. The Hobbit? Hated. Too much CGI, his vampire senses make CGI so obvious and he'll always prefer a film with practical effects. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Solid, very fun.

-The sap in Daniel likes movies where the protagonist falls for the monster. The Shape of Water? Edward Scissorhands? He can relate.

-Daniel also has a secret thing for watching vampire movies, the worse the better. He and Lestat had an excellent night in which they drank off some very inebriated club goers, put Twilight on at Trinity Gate and spent the night howling at vampires that sparkle in the sun.

-Pretty much he's in the same stuff as Armand, but Armand has a stronger stomach for horror than him. Put on a Junji Ito movie or something gratuitously painful like Saw and Daniel is tapping out, sorry.

(if anyone else has specific films, feel free to reblog and add them on!)

#apoptoses answers #armand/daniel #vc headcanons

[msunitedstatesjames]

Reasons I love Romeo and Juliet:

-One of the first things we learn about Romeo, one of western literature's most famous lovers, is that he's been locking himself in his bedroom, shutting the curtains to make the room dark, and crying all alone every day.

-Romeo just generally being such a hilariously dramatic sad boy for three-quarters of the play. Like, imagine your cousin comes up to you out of the blue and is just like, "Hey, what's up?" And you just immediately are like, "LOVE! LOVE IS CRUEL! WHY IS LOVE LIKE THIS?" And then you continued to be like that for most of the next few days until you tragically died.

-Mercutio just 100% getting what kind of a person Romeo is. He's like, "Well, we lost Romeo, but if we just shout into the air about love and how hot Rosaline is he'll probably come running this way."

-That moment during the balcony scene when Juliet is like, "I wish you were my little pet bird on a string and I could just pull you back to me whenever I wanted." And Romeo is just like, "Yeah girl, I'd love to be your pet bird." And then Juliet is like, "Good thing you're not though, because I would just love you and squeeze you so hard that I would probably accidentally kill you."

-When Romeo tells Friar Laurence about Juliet, and Friar is just like, "Dude, are you kidding me? Literally yesterday you were just here crying about Rosaline, the love of your life. Like, I can still see the tears on your cheeks and hear the echos of your crying." And Romeo, fool that he is, is like, "What are you talking about? You told me to forget my love for her! Why are you mad?" And Friar is like, "Yeah, I told you to forget her, not to IMMEDIATELY replace her with someone else!

-Nurse threatening to fight Mercutio.

-Nurse's relentless ability to avoid answering questions or talking about the topic at hand by telling random stories, dramatically complaining, or just randomly changing topic in the middle of a conversation.

-The fact that Romeo is stupid enough to kill his secret wife's cousin literally within hours of marrying her.

-Even though killing Tybalt was so dumb, I unironically love Romeo's revenge speech, when he's like, "My dude Mercutio's soul is on it's way to heaven, and I won't let him go alone. One or both of us will be joining him on that trip."

-Nurse, the bumbling, comedic relief character and a servant, claiming that Tybalt, hot-headed and murderous cousin to Juliet, was her best friend.

-Juliet finding out about Romeo killing her cousin, then talking about what lying, deceitful scum he is, and then immediately flipping out when Nurse agrees with her.

-When, less than 24 hours after Tybalt's death, Juliet's parents are like, "Wait, are you still crying about your cousin's death? Dude's been dead for like 12 hours. Get over it."

-When Friar Laurence is like, "I might be able to help you, but what I'm asking you to do won't be easy. And Juliet is like, "Oh, it won't be easy, you say? Let me tell you what I'd do to avoid marrying Paris." And she starts off pretty standard by being like, "I'd jump off a tower." And then somewhere along the way she gets to, "I'd rather be chained up with bears than marry Paris. Also, I'd be locked into a variety of different tombs/graves rather than marry Paris." And I imagine in Friar's head he's just like, "Funny you should mention that last one."

-The arrogance of Romeo, when he specifically seeks out the poorest, most broken down apothecary he can find, in order to use his money to coerce the man to sell him an illegal poison. He seriously has the nerve to be like, "Eh, money is a worse poison than poison anyway." Like, imagine going up to a person starving on the streets, using their hunger as leverage to get them to commit a crime for you, and then telling them that money is a poison. I mean, he has a point, but he might have the wrong audience for this particular righteous spiel.

#romeo and juliet #romeo #Juliet #Friar laurence #Rosaline #classic literature #classic lit #shakespeare #nurse #mercutio

[checkoutmybookshelf]

How Are We STILL the Bad Guys!?

Ok, we are doing a quick and dirty intro here, because I have FEELINGS about this book and we NEED to talk about it. So hi, hello, we do books here and sometimes there is yelling about them. So let's talk Iron Flame.

THERE ARE SPOILERS BELOW THE BREAK. I SPOIL THE END IN LIKE THE FIRST THREE SENTENCES. BE WARNED.

My sister and I read this book together. She finished first, and messaged me to ask if I'd finished because there was a big twist coming. Let me just show you how that went:

XADEN GODDAMN RIORSON MAKES ANAKIN FUCKING SKYWALKER LOOK MATURE, HINGED, AND BALANCED. I DID NOT EVEN THINK THAT WAS POSSIBLE, BUT XADEN GOING VENIN ABSOFREAKINGLOUTLY GOT THERE.

So yeah, Xaden went full venin because apparently he felt Vi's intention to die to get the Basgiath wards back up, and all I have at this moment is "INTENTIONS CHANGE." This is the most twisted combination of Anakin Skywalker going Sith to protect Padme and Romeo Montague overreacting to thinking Juliet is dead I have ever seen. Literally Xaden, intentions can change in a snap, and intention does not give you the situation on the ground. Literally, this is the WORST POSSIBLE CONCLUSION TO JUMP TO when Mira, Brennan, and Vi's squad is there. Literally none of them are going to let Vi kill herself, not even to bring those wards up. Literally this is the worst snap decision from the heart I have ever seen and I spent a solid fifteen minutes YELLING about it to my partner. Nobody should make Anakin Skywalker look like less of a drama llama by comparison. That's too much drama, put some of that back.

I also 10000% stand by my assertion that Mama Sorrengail desperately needs therapy, because while I can get behind mama bears sacrificing themselves to keep their children alive...Mama Sorrengail was going about it in some absolutely hideous ways and frankly? She still forced Vi into a graduate or die military college, and literally no amount of "she'd have been killed by the scribes anyway and this way she'd learn to defend herself" logic makes that better. Also...she REALLY did poor Sloane dirty, and that poor girl is going to need some MASSIVE support and saving because she kinda did not informed consent to murdering Mama Sorrengail to raise the wards. I literally feel worse for Sloane than Mama Sorrengail because Sloane has to live with being forced to kill a woman with her signet and those emotions are going to be COMPLICATED.

Ok, having yelled about Xaden and Mama Sorrengail, I also want to briefly yell about Dain. While it is extremely adult and mature of Dain and Vi to have some conversations and start to emotionally move past Dain's hideous breach of consent in the last book (Seriously dude, you have MEMORY READING powers, consent is more important for you than the average dude and you FUCKED that right up...), I AM NOT HERE FOR A DAIN AETOS REDEMPTION ARC.

I'm sorry, I'm just not.

I recognize that it's the mature, adult thing, and that Dain fucked up and is actively trying to change and improve, but this is a book. I want to just...uncomplicatedly hate the entitled douchebag with sketchy consent protocols. It kind of feels like we only put Dain on a redemption arc to try to put the pseudo love triangle on life support, especially since Xaden has gone full Venin. I know this is only book 2 of 5, so I'm reserving judgement on this for the moment, but I'm still not here for a Dain Aetos redemption arc.

I also was...less than enamored of how Vi's EDS was handled in this book. It was present, but it felt like it had even fewer hard limits and required even fewer accommodations than it did in the last book. On some level that's fine, because she's physically stronger and those muscles will help support her joints and connective tissue, but the book LOST me when Tairn spent a not-insignificant amount of time going "a running landing will break every bone in your body" and then Vi successfully does one *in midair onto another dragon during a battle*. And yes, it was to save a squadmate's life, and yes, adrenaline is a hell of a drug, but...that's literally the opposite of a believeable setup and payoff. Or it got mixed up with the setup and payoff for how fliers choose their griffins, but either way, that's just straight-up sloppy, inconsistent writing on a couple of fronts.

Similarly, I am now OFFICIALLY wondering what this author has against doctors, because between Vi refusing to see any mender (unless she was literally dying) in Fourth Wing and Nolon turning her over to Varrish and being literally complicit in her torture in this book, I'm seriously over here wondering what the hell happened. Like, I have had my share of GODAWFUL doctors and medical trauma, and even I'm like...what the hell happened there? I'm not here to defend asshole doctors, but I would like to just make it very, very clear that seeking medical help when you need it is a very good thing, and judging people for seeking medical care is not a great thing to do.

And yeah, sure, it's technically weakly justified in-universe because Basgiath is about "weeding out weak cadets," but I submit that a cadet who takes longer to heal who doesn't take advantage of healing and mending is an objectively worse choice for strength than fighting through an injury, expecially in a non-combat situation where you're LEARNING and TRAINING. This is possibly my pet peeve; your mileage may vary on this one, but come on. Either Vi's health and EDS is a challenge that requires accommodation or it isn't, and I was getting real "it's a problem when the plot needs it to be" vibes from this, especially in the "learn how to resist torture" class. Putting Vi in the chair felt like the easy choice and I honestly would have loved to see a little more thought in the squad dynamics and a little more poking at those. Especially since Vi made it clear as HELL later in the book that she might have actually broken had one of her squadmates been in the chair. Girl can take a lot, but her thing is "better me than them," which could have been explored a little more.

...It occurs to me that reading this far it might seem like I didn't enjoy this book, which is absolutely not the case. I adored the Sorrengail sibling dynamics and interactions, and I loved everything with trying to integrate the riots and drifts. Also, Rhi as a squad leader was just an OUTSTANDING choice, and if our girl doesn't make wingleader next book I will be furious. Rhi is a phenomenal people person and leader, and she's also a DELIGHT as a character. Ridoc and Sawyer too, even if we get less time with him.

As per usual, all the dragons are wonderful, and I was very much a fan of teenage Andarna making Tairn even grumpier than usual. I wish we got a little bit more Sgaeyl, but it makes sense that we get less of her since we're not in Xaden's head. I also appreciated the hint that we might see some changing dynamics around the riders when Vi speaks directly to Sawyer's dragon to get the dragon to help her help Sawyer. I suspect we shall see a loosening of the dragon etiquette to focus on cadet and rider survivor, since Navarre is a WEE BIT FUCKED if there are more venin than we think there are.

I also want to just...call out how well I thought Varrish was done. If y'all have read chapter 8 of my Polin Fic, Lady Whistledown Returns, you know I'm a fan of a good torture scene. Varrish was UNSETTLING and EVIL and absolutely unhinged, and I thought that the ramp up to him spending five days trying and failing to break Vi was beautifully executed, and the actual interrogation session was earned when we finally got there.

I'm also a sucker for a heroic rescue, and between Xaden and Dain, we ABSOLUTELY got that, so A+ no notes on the leadup to bailing to Aretia.

So overall, I thoroughly enjoyed Iron Flame, and uh...I may have made a tactical error in getting it read within days of the release, because now we've got at least a year to wait for book three. Possibly more, we just don't know yet. But this book is a delightful read, and I am excited for book 3 when it is eventually announced and released!

#iron flame spoilers #iron flame #fourth wing #rebecca yarros #violet sorrengail #xaden riorson #romantasy #adult fantasy novel #romance novel #romance and fantasy #books and reading #books & libraries #books and novels #books #book recommendations

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Forbidden Love (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

A Life So Changed (ao3) - Pilferingstarlight

Summary: TITANIC AU-- 1912. Phil Lester, the aristocratic son of one of the most prominent millionaires in England, travelling first class aboard the Titanic to America, where he will announce his engagement to a woman he is not quite sure he loves, and Dan Howell, the penniless third class wanderer who is travelling to America to seek opportunity and adventure. Different as sun and moon, they were never supposed to meet but one evening strike up a close friendship that develops into something much more. As they draw closer to their destination, they are faced with a single question: can their love survive or is it doomed to remain forever on the ill fated ship of dreams? (Loosely based off the 1997 film)

A Rose by Any Other Name (ao3) - MirabelleG

Summary: Set at the time of Romeo and Juliet. Dan and Phil meet at the masked ball and despite their opposing households they learn that their love is the most important thing.

A Stolen Ring (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan’s not normal. Why?

He's not human, he has a mysterious ring, and he hates Phil Lester. They have a strange past, one filled with bullying and avoidance, but when Dan turns into an incubus, everything changes. He struggles with his identity and cries himself to sleep most nights, yearning to be normal. And somehow the universe makes it worse by bringing him and Phil together - in the most literal sense.

Amaranth (ao3) - softsocks (orphan_account)

Summary: 'an imaginary flower that never fades; a purple colour'

Brotherly Love (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: Some family secrets remain hidden, others in punishments worse than death.

A slip-up in Dan's Mum's early life and a separate relationship years later, what were the chances the two half-brothers would fall in love?

Fate. Fate is the percentage of chance.

Not all soulmates have happy endings; some are forbidden, others cause endings for things too late to say goodbye to.

Butterfly (ao3) - A_Million_Regrets

Summary: Phil Lester, a lonely writer, finds a dying boy with beautiful black wings on a cold, rainy night in a dingy alleyway. He recognizes the boy as one of the winged men hated by human society. They are considered to be wild, ferocious beasts, but Phil's sympathy forces him to help the boy.

What happens when the boy, considered to be a wild beast, gets too attached and follows him home with an innocent, dimpled smile?

Give Me My Sin Again (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: It's the era when love is a sin,

but Dan and Phil fall in love despite the rules.

Life Would Be Funny (If It Weren't So Damn Tragic) (ao3) - mysticstargirl

Summary: Demons and Angels being soulmates is unheard of; blasphemous even.

In which Dan just wants to love and be loved, and Phil supposes it was never going to work out for them in the first place anyway; You can't stay warm forever.

Prince... oh my prince (ao3) - ReallyPham

Summary: Rich girls don't marry poor boys.

But can rich boys marry poor boys?

siren song (ao3) - lestered (clonetrobed)

Summary: He thinks of last night, teetering on the edge of the cliff, so happy with the idea of following Phil’s voice all the way down. That’d been a particularly close call, and he doesn’t even care. He just wants to hear the song again.

Straight To Video (ao3) - DisasterSoundtrack

Summary: It’s his face. His eyes, especially. They’re brown, the color warm like melted chocolate, but they’re also vulnerable and terrified, playing into the vibe of the song even better than the dancer’s body, even though he twirls and jumps and spreads himself thin. The real heartbreak is appearing right here, right on the dancefloor, as the dancer sheds a single, perfect tear.

Phil's peaceful, ordinary life takes an unexpected detour into a passionate, forbidden romance with a dancer, Dan.

The Roles We Play (ao3) - adorkablephil (kimberly_a)

Summary: Dan Howell and Phil Lester work together as voice actors for BBC radio dramas in the late 1930s, but slowly begin to develop “inappropriate” feelings for each other. (No characters die *in* this story, but there is some grief and sadness related to their deaths in the past.)

The Torment of Existence (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan was born into a world where your eyes mean everything. If you have grey eyes you're fine, but those with colored eyes are usually blind. Dan is one of the few who are not.

They'll Tear Us Apart If You Give Them the Chance (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil are both princes and they've been taught to hate each other their whole lives. They meet in a forest.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfic #phan #phanfiction #dan and phil #masterlists #forbiddenlove #forbiddenlove masterlist

[cto10121]

Twilight Clown Takes—Part 5

Featuring not only fan dumb but anti fan dumb, which is arguably worse, Team Jacob dumb, and just another whole set of clownery. Without further ado, let’s get to it.

Anti Fan Dumb

“I own all the Twilight books and movies and have made custom T-shirts but also Twilight is garbage and it’s not hypocritical or bullying to say so!!1!!1 😡”

(Also, Twilight’s themes and even plot are anything but simple. There are so many interpretive lens you could apply, even critical lit crit ones, it’s dizzying. Like R&J, it only seems to be that way because people assume romance = dumb. Because they think romance = women, and women are inferior. It’s Sexism 101.)

This is going to sound truly crazy, but hear me out…if you don’t like something, just don’t engage with it? Ignore it???? Go be a fan of literally anything else????Out there, I know.

“I got what I wanted and I still hated it!!1!!11 😡”

Meyer Is Racist Round ♾️

…You know, I honestly can’t tell what this comment is supposed to aver. “Meyer’s portrayal is racist but also her series was ahead of its time in its portrayal of NA characters”????? Idek.

Anyway, it’s canon that Forks is neutral territory for both Cullens and the werewolves, so them looking after Charlie should be fine (I know Jacob says differently in New Moon but I have a feeling it is because of Alice’s presence—there is definitely a “we won’t be anywhere near you” component to the treaty). In Midnight Sun Edward says specifically it’s a five mile radius from the Cullens’ house.

There are so much wrong with this one sentence, it’s breathtaking. As in, I can’t breathe from choking with laughter.

1) “Despite its”—Because of, you idiot. It was Meyer’s success in tapping into ancient and nigh universal tropes and modernizing them without diluting their power.

2) Just because Twilight doesn’t have sex doesn’t mean it is chaste. There is nothing chaste about the erotic and sexual tension Meyer builds. It is literally off the charts.

3) “Forbidden love” and “steep imbalance of power” are not opposites. On the contrary, they are complementary. Literally every forbidden love romance has that aspect. Even Romeo and Juliet with its beautiful relationship of equals has Romeo’s privilege raised as male vs. Juliet’s raised as female. And yes, it does affect their tragedy.

4) “Damsel—” She is a human amid vampires and werwolves, idiot. Of course she is not going to girlboss her way out of danger. That would have been a one-way ticket to literal death. And she would have deserved it, for being too stupid to live. But Bella is not an idiot; she has more wit in her elbow than any of her antis combined.

Team Jacob Dumb

Ugh, kill this fanon with fire.

Meyer makes it clear that Bella is not attracted to all vampires the same way she is attracted to Edward. She isn’t taken in by James, she isn’t fooled by Laurent, and the vampires in Breaking Dawn are referred to in fairly basic terms. Even the way she describes the Cullens’ beauty differs—Carlisle’s and even Rosalie’s beauty (!!) she likens to Hollywood and Sports Magazine respectively. Very clichéd and emotionally empty descriptions. Most tellingly of all, she doesn’t describe other vampiric scents at all.

Meanwhile every little thing Edward does makes this girl cream. His voice, his scent, his crooked smile, his windswept bronze hair…because she’s in love with him, duh.

You may have had a point some years ago, Clown OP. Unfortunately for you, we now have Midnight Sun. There Edward does correctly guess Bella’s thoughts and feelings around 80-90% of the time. The only time when he’s consistently off is her attraction to him. He, like Bella, just sells himself short, as he relies on his mind reading too much.

Even if it were true that Jacob just naturally gets Bella better…in actual practice it’s mostly due to the fact that they are much closer in age. So their brand of humor (the running joke about ages, banter, the Simpsons allusion in Breaking Dawn) and style of communication are not that different (hence why Bella thinks he is so easy to talk to). Bella can truly be a regular 17-year-old with Jacob, and that is understandably attractive for a parentified teen.

Aside from that, though, Bella/Jacob don’t have much in common. Bella’s tomboyishness begins and ends with her truck and stretches to its limit to motorcycles. Otherwise she is a parentified class-conscious bookish Austenite and Jacob is your basic mechanic native boy who by all accounts is perfectly fine at the rez. He takes care of his father, but his situation is far from being as parentified as Bella.

Overall Edward is much closer to Bella in personality and likes than Jacob—he just has the disadvantage of being born in a different time and living a hundred years. Also, Jacob’s understanding of Bella doesn’t translate very well into respect for her—see forced kiss and manipulative second kiss.

Edward Hate Dumb

…I’ll give it to this one, this clownery almost sounds like a legit criticism. Almost.

First of all, it is clear beyond the shadow of a doubt that Edward would have never given up on Bella. Even when he left her he always planned to return and see how she was doing. In Midnight Sun he confesses that had he seen New Moon!Bella in her screaming nightmares he would have woken her up and stayed with her. And in Eclipse he tells Jacob explicitly that even if Bella did choose him he would always “be waiting in the wings,” seeing if she was okay and happy and watching out if Jacob imprinted on someone else.

So no, Edward would always be there for Bella, if just in his stalkerish way. That’s the problem with Edward, or what he feels is a problem: He wants to be this noble hero, but he is a simp at heart. He and Romeo could go neck to neck just on love clownery alone.

For fuck’s sake—

1) Edward telling Bella he cannot live without her is not and never was manipulative. For such a thing to be manipulative he would have said it in order to convince Bella to stay with him. He never does; he says it only as a simple statement of fact. Actually, Edward preferred Bella living her life as human—with or without him—so long as she is happy. That was literally his original plan except for Bella’s horror of growing older.

2) Edward actually does accept—deep down, but he does—Bella’s desire to be a vampire, even if he disagreed with it. He even accepted his family’s vote to turn Bella into a vampire quite fast. That’s because deep down, despite himself…Edward actually does want Bella to be with him forever. He just thinks it’s selfish of him to pursue that especially when he believes that humanity would be so much better for Bella. How do we know this? He admits this explicitly in Eclipse when Bella says she is afraid Edward doesn’t want her to become a vampire because he doesn’t want her to stick around for a millennia.

3) “Coercion” For fuck’s sake, it was just a proposal. Bella was free to reject it or negotiate (which she did! And Edward accepted her rejection!). Y’know, what actual irl couples do.

4) Ugh, I’m sick of these clowns whining about Edward dismantling her truck. Yes, it was shitty!!! Bella was annoyed and angry!!! He apologized for it!!! He said he was wrong to stop her and would not impede her from going to La Push from then on!!!! It’s called character development!!!!

Clown OP knows Twilight is horribly written because they’ve never read it. Works for me! Into the clownery bin you go.

#twilight clown takes #twilight clownery #anti anti twilight #preserve me #team jacob dumb #edward hate dumb #🤝 romeo hate dumb tbh #bella hate dumb is still the strongest tho #for obvious reasons

[emmersreads]

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong | 2.5/5

The best stories feel effortless, and overburdened narratives are the opposite of that. They make you keenly aware of just how much they’re not pulling it off.

It would be wrong to say that These Violent Delights is patient zero for this phenomenon, because its not like overburdened stories were invented in 2020, but it is a definitive case study. There is a good book in here somewhere, maybe even more than one, but they’re crushed in with so many bad ones that it makes the whole thing worse.

I’m going to pull out a bunch of specific details from this book and you may think that some (or even many) of them kinda slap, but don’t get it twisted, These Violent Delights is far less than the sum of its parts.

These Violent Delights is a very thinly veiled adaptation of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, starring the scions of two opposing gangs in 1920s Shanghai whose past romance draws them together even as the blood feud between their gangs pull them apart. In addition to the plot of Romeo and Juliet, there is a second main plot in which protagonists Roma and Juliette must put their allegiances aside and work together to avert a supernatural plague of madness ravaging the city of Shanghai. That’s already one plotline too many but the book has one more, growing off of the original play’s plot like some kind of horrible fungus. This one is a meta-mystery about why Roma and Juliette were broken up the first time and the events that led to the current tensions between their two gangs. It’s a meta-mystery because there is really no reason for the third person limited narration to hide it from us — the characters should realistically be thinking about it literally every time they interact — and it ends up as a super underwhelming reveal. That’s a lot of plots, and we haven’t even got to the side characters, who also have two side arcs that have nothing to do with the overall throughline. Each of these is enough for their own book, but as more and more get introduced they crowd each other out. The narrative is pulled in more and more directions.

There are two consequences to overburdened plots: first, basically none of them get the time they need, so at best they’re not as good as they could be and at worst they feel like demeaning token inclusions; second, while all of these plots are basically fine on their own, they don’t all play well together and end up robbing each other of thematic weight. As a result the book is a mismatched jumble of plots and characters that constantly undercuts its own continuity stakes, and thematic resonance.

Lets deal with the artificially crushed pacing first. The biggest victims of this are the side characters. There are way too many and they don’t have enough to do. Part of the premise of Romeo and Juliet as a play is that its really only about those two characters. They're not the most socially significant characters in their world, or the most self aware, but their relative insignificance in the grand scheme of things serves to highlight the meaninglessness of the violent grudge that leads to their deaths. The supporting cast is mostly there to flesh out that feud. They fight and die and that's about it.

In the grand tradition of YA fanfiction everywhere These Violent Delights desperately wants to expand these roles to give them their own hopes and fears and stories, and, in the grand tradition of YA zeitgeist, add some diversity to one of the English language’s most famous heterosexual romances. This book’s version of Benvolio and Mercutio, Benedict and Marshall (and we’ll get to the fucking names), are two bros in a bromoerotic friendship. It also adds Kathleen, a Capulet faction member, Rosalind’s sister, and a trans woman.

This will be an unpopular opinion — I’ve seen fans praise Gong’s novels for the diversity and confess disappointment in its absence in more recent novels — but I kinda hated it. Both of these are good ideas — representation is a noble goal, especially of a trans woman — but I can’t overemphasize just how little time these subplots get and just how irrelevant they are to the overall plot. Benedict and Marshall get a couple of cutaways that the audience can interpolate with their prior knowledge of m/m fanfiction. Kathleen gets a little meta-mystery around her backstory reveal conveyed over about two chapters. This backstory is interesting enough to be its own novel. A Shanghainese woman transes her gender while being educated in Paris and must impersonate her tragically dead sister in order to return home, in the 1920s? Don’t mind if I do! Why is it playing fourth or fifth fiddle to the heterosexual activities of literally Romeo and Juliet. None of this has anything to do with the actual plots, which are about teen melodrama and colonialism monsters. This means that even though they’re great ideas in isolation, they end up feeling like distractions. I was tempted to skip these chapters because they just weren’t important. Put uncharitably, representation in the form of side characters who exist to be diverse rather than to influence the plot in any way isn’t good representation at all. These Violent Delights would be a better story if these side plots were cut entirely, and these characters deserve a better book.

The side characters are the most egregious victims of the limited narrative space, but far from the only ones. Juliette and Roma get one internal character problem each — after four years in New York, Juliette feels like a foreigner in her own city, and Roma’s relationship to his violent father is on the precipice of total breakdown — which look like the beginning of a character arc, but vanish from the second half of the story. They are replaced by the feud meta-mystery stuff, which is much more predictable and much less interesting than the threads it replaced. The succession drama within the gangs is supposed to be important, but has so little relation to the actual plot that it only succeeds in establishing that Tyler (our Tybalt) sure is a character. Each gang has a loose affiliation with China’s two major political factions, the communists and the RoC nationalists, but this too is dismissed because there is not enough room for this book to be about both internal Chinese politics, the western foreigners slowly taking over the city, the animosity between the gangs, and a teen love story. Roma also has a sister! I guess!

The biggest space hogs are the Romeo and Juliet interpretation and the colonialism mystery, which are uneasy bedfellows. Romeo and Juliet is a play about the tragic deaths of two teens as a result of their uncompromisingly feuding families; part of the whole tragedy is how little external pressure is on the two groups. There’s no reason for them to hold this grudge and there’s no resources that they’re competing over. The fact that neither Capulet nor Montague really understand why they’re making such bad decisions is a major part of what makes the story so hopeless and tragic. There is no room in there for ‘also they unite to solve a supernatural mystery.’ Similarly, ‘a Shanghainese returnee discovers that the supernatural plague destroying her city is a hostile takeover by an English merchant’ is its own plot. ‘She also has this on-again off-again thing with a historical gang rival’ feels like a distraction. The high stakes of the supernatural plague and the systematic wrong of colonialism makes the comparatively lower stakes of teen melodrama seem meaningless and absurd. The two plots meet catastrophically in the climax. In one scene Juliette confronts Paul, the Englishman responsible for the disease and Roma is also there, standing awkwardly in the background. Paul sometimes makes a half-hearted cutting remark at Roma, but he might as well not be there, because Paul is Juliette’s antagonist, not Roma’s. Roma’s antagonist is his father, and that plotline never gets resolved. The two plots have so little to do with each other that at best all they do is take time away from each other. At worst, they deeply undermine each other, which brings us to the second problem with all these plots: they ruin each other’s thematic impact.

To put it succinctly: teenage romance and the violence of colonialism cannot be the same importance at the same time.

Romeo and Juliet is a very personal tragedy that is essentially a melodrama. It’s about the purity of young love. It’s about the overwhelming emotion of young love. It is fundamentally unimportant in the face of a systemic violence like colonialism.[[ It has become super trendy these days, especially in YA, to juxtapose a systemic injustice with an intimate emotional story, often but not always romantic. It is easy to see the motivation behind this: any particular experience of oppression is also extremely personal, and on the other hand an intimate emotional plot line may be used to add levity or hope to a situation that the protagonist is otherwise individually incapable of changing. However, a reasonable motivation doesn’t make this technique effective. At the end of the day systemic problems are structural by nature and are a fundamentally different scale from individual level conflicts.]] It is ludicrously naive to imagine colonialism defeated by the power of young love and in the face of the higher stakes of the slow takeover of Shanghai by westeners rich enough to buy it out from under the locals, the woes of two nineteen-year-olds who can’t be together are a distraction. The idea that there would be anything more important than either this relationship of the fuel ruins the context of the original play; the whole point of Romeo and Juliet is that there is no greater crisis going on and that the families have backed themselves into this corner. In These Violent Delights the plot is precipitated by events outside of the gangs’ control and with only one exception (Tyler’s attempt to kill Roma’s sister Alisa post-climax) all the major plot events happen because of someone outside of the gangs. I found myself often wondering, ‘why the heck is this a Romeo and Juliet adaptation at all?’

Unfortunately, the alternative isn’t necessarily better. The book’s version of Paris is Paul, son of an English merchant trying to set up drug deals with Juliette’s gang. As the story progresses, we discover that the plague of madness was brought to Shanghai in order to bend the city to his will. He has been intentionally it to his enemies and to the native Shanghainese this whole time. Also, the plague is spread via the vector of a shapeshifting fish-man who shoots infectious bugs out of his back as he swims through the river. It’s fine for the bad guy to have been colonialism the whole time, but saying that colonialism is a supernatural fish monster is, dare I say it, losing the thread of the metaphor a bit. Actually, I do dare say it. The subgenre of YA that deals with social justice plots like this one is at its best when it is at its most serious. These Violent Delights sucks because it is so fucking goofy. It is so reductive for colonialism to be a fish monster that I used it as a joke earlier in this paragraph. These two things are fine on their own but when they are thrown together they absolutely suck the soul out of each other.

The novel follows the details of Romeo and Juliet very closely despite having dropped the overall thematic message in favour of the colonialism thing, so there are a bunch of characters that have no reason to be there other than the fact that they appear in the play. Why is Rosalind here? Why would a 1920s Shanghai gang have an experimental physician on the payroll? Well, friar Lawrence needs to be here somehow and for whatever reason he can’t just be cooking drugs. It is too much like Romeo and Juliet to not be a straight up retelling and it is not a retelling.

As you may have noticed, all the characters have been named the kidzbop version of their names from the play. I can’t even begin to guess why. A lot of hay is made out of how many different places all the characters are from and how that affects their sense of belonging. Roma is Russian, technically a foreigner, but he has lived in Shanghai his whole life, unlike Juliette, whose western education makes her an outsider — but they’re all named like a Say Yes to the Dress wedding party. Marshall is unusual in that he’s the only central character who is both poor and Shanghainese. If any character ought to represent the people Roma and Juliette are ostensibly trying to protect, its this one, but you’d never know it because his name is fucking Marshall. Juliette directly addresses that she is ambivalent about using an English version of her name and feels like an outsider compared to her cousin, so why does he also have an English name? Names are a hugely meaningful place to express personal identity and narrative worldbuilding. As an example, in Babel protagonist Robin chooses that name when he is required by his English patron to choose a name befitting of his new country; we never learn his original Chinese name. Babel uses this to represent the colonization of the individual mind via language. It is a familiar topic for These Violent Delights, where the characters are the globe-trotting new generation of the 1920s, but that detail is fundamentally superfluous because the simplest opportunity to show rather than tell is dismissed in favour of naming them more like Romeo and Juliet.

There’s a lot more stuff in here that simply needs removing. Either a cause or a symptom of the overburdened narrative is that the book feels poorly edited. It badly needed a second pass. The turning point of the ending is that Juliette diffuses an encounter between White Flowers and Scarlets by pretending to betray Roma and faking Marshall’s death by shooting him with an empty handgun. It does not take a firearms expert to know that an empty gun clicks. It is extremely obvious that it is empty. It’s a whole trope! The foreboding click as the protagonist hasn’t counted their shots. Or perhaps the moment of tension diffuses as the villain realizes they’ve run out of firepower. Blanks are rounds that include gunpowder but no bullet, but that combustion is where the noise comes from. I’m complaining this much because this is a pivotal scene. The way the gun works is crucial to the relationship between all the major characters and the social premise of the sequel. This is not a small detail you can fudge for everyone except the true obsessives. It needed to be corrected. (Also, by the way, even a blank round can seriously injure a person at close range as the still combusting gunpowder exits the barrel). There’s a bunch more of these. A friend of mine who knows more (read: anything) about Chinese history pointed out that it is ahistorical for the qipaos to be described as ‘tight-fitting’ especially as tighter-fitting than a western flapper dress. In reality, both garments were much looser than our preconceived notions suggest. Why is Juliette the heir of the Scarlet gang when her male cousin really ought to be due to male-precedence primogeniture. It wouldn’t even change anything material about the plot for Juliette to be trying to seize the heir role from Tyler rather than to be defending it from him.

These Violent Delights is a poor love story, and a worse thriller, and a deeply unoriginal comment on colonialism. It is trying to do too many things to do any of them well. The most depressing part of this is that the book is so messy and its use of the play so diluted by all the other crap going on, that the use of Romeo and Juliet comes across as little more than a cynical feature of a popular play to get classics girlie dollars. A vicious end indeed.

#book review #read in 2023 #bookblr #book blogging #bookstagram #these violent delights #chloe gong #historical fantasy #historical fiction #ya #i know i've had a couple negative reviews in a row here i promise i've got some positive ones coming #also no pics because its been ages since i read this thing

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I See Queen Mab Hath Been With You

Eddie Munson x OC, Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader, Fluff, Shakespeare, Pining

Lucy Henderson Character Bio, Lucy's Tag in General

Summary: Eddie proves he paid more attention in English than he lets on. OR, how Lucy discovered Eddie reciting Shakespeare is really hot.

Warning: This contains the entirety of the Queen Mab speech from Romeo and Juliet

Based on anon request: I’m feeling ridiculously soft for Eddie and Lucy rn. Any drabbles or one shots about a soft moment during the craziness or before the craziness of season 4?

A/N: I literally came up with this yesterday. I couldn't help it, the theater nerd is strong with me.

Word Count: 1.8K

    “Bullshit.”

    “Scouts honor.”

    “You were never in the scouts.”

    “Well what else am I supposed to swear on?”

    Lucy rolled her eyes, holding back a smile. She had been doing it all night and was starting to get good at it. 

    It was late. Their movie had ended and Lucy had dared to take Eddie up on his suggestion to just walk for a while. It wasn’t an unusual request. They did it all the time, but spending so much time alone with him was proving treacherous.

    Her little crush hadn’t faded since the end of the semester and they were almost to July. It felt like it was getting worse. 

    She thought some distance would do her some good, but Eddie had called her out of the blue and she couldn’t think of a good excuse not to. They were still friends. She couldn’t avoid him forever. A movie seemed innocent enough; dark, limited talking, safe. She had even managed to pay attention to what was on screen for most of it. Even still, his occasional commentary in her ear drove her to distraction. She honestly couldn’t remember anything of what they had just seen by the time they walked out. 

    If she had any sense she would have made up some excuse about work in the morning, but then he smiled and she knew she’d do just about anything he asked. 

    He kept the conversation going for the first stretch and eventually Lucy was able to relax enough to answer back. Nothing had changed. Eddie was still Eddie. She just had to remind herself of that and not get herself into a tizzy over a laugh or a look. 

    They had even managed to move past the subject of the movie to, of all things, Shakespeare. Somewhere in their rambles Lucy grumbled about wishing she could rent an apartment for three months to do summer stock in a big city or even just Shakespeare in the park. This prompted Eddie to make a rather bold claim pertaining to Mercutio and Queen Mab.   

    “Why would you even try to memorize the Queen Mab speech?” Lucy protested. 

    He shrugged. “It’s cool. I mean the rest of the play is gooey, lovey dovey shlock, but all the Mercutio stuff is awesome. Besides, I needed the extra credit.”

    “So you just up and performed in front of the entire class for a couple extra points?”

    He scoffed. “Please, if I did that my reputation would never recover. Mr. Kennedy just let me do it at lunch.” 

    Lucy’s lips pressed into a line. Mr. Kennedy was known for being one of the more reasonable teachers at Hawkins. She could see him offering to let Eddie perform privately if he felt like Eddie was otherwise putting in the effort. Still, she couldn’t help feeling like he was pulling her leg.

    Eddie caught her skeptical expression. “You don’t believe me.” 

    “I just don’t see it,” she admitted. 

    He nodded, his brows creasing in deep thought. It only took him a moment to come to a decision. “Okay.” 

    He took two long strides ahead before jumping up on a bench in front of an empty store front. He cleared his throat, placing a hand over his heart. 

    “I, Edward Munson, shall perform Shakespeare’s Queen Mab for the judgment and viewing pleasure of this illustrious audience,” he announced in the most obnoxious British accent he could muster as he gestured to the non-existent crowd. 

    Lucy let out a laugh, which only encouraged him.

    “Now I shall require some audience participation,” he said, peering down at her with a scrupulous eye, “assuming the audience has the play memorized as well.”

    “We do,” she assured. 

    “Excellent,” he grinned, dropping the accent while he was at it. “Now, let me see, how does it start?" He tapped his chin. "Romeo says, 'I dreampt a dream tonight'. Mercutio, 'And so did I'."

    Lucy smiled. "Well, what was yours?"

    Eddie grinned and something else seemed to shift inside him, like the turning of a dial. She'd seen it a handful of times when a campaign took on a particularly dramatic turn. A sudden tremble of anticipation shot through her.

    "That dreamers often lie," he answered.

    "In bed asleep while they do dream things true," she replied.

    "O," he crouched down, meeting her straight in the eye, "then I see Queen Mab hath been with you."

 ��  He leaned in, his eyes glimmering with an unbalanced glee. “She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes, in shape no bigger than an agate-stone,” he raised his finger waving it in front of her eyes, “on the fore-finger of an alderman, drawn with a team of little atomies, athwart men's noses as they lie asleep.”

    Ever so slowly he began to rise, his hands and arms animating every line.

    “Her wagon-spokes made of long spiders' legs, the cover of the wings of grasshoppers, the traces of the smallest spider's web, the collars of the moonshine's watery beams, her whip of cricket's bone, the lash of film, her wagoner a small grey-coated gnat, not so big as a round little worm Prick'd from the lazy finger of a maid; her chariot is an empty hazel-nut, made by the joiner squirrel or old grub, time out o' mind the fairies' coachmakers. And in this state she gallops night by night through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love.”

    He drawled out the final word mockingly as he once again turned his attention toward her, sinking down to her level. 

     “O'er courtiers' knees, that dream on court'sies straight,” he continued, pointing to her knees. “O'er lawyers' fingers, who straight dream on fees,” he took her hand, pinching the ends of her fingers.  “O'er ladies ' lips, who straight on kisses dream,” he brushed her lips, or, at least, came close enough the air of his movements tickled her skin. 

    Lucy could feel her cheeks heat at the gesture. She thought he might stop to comment, but he didn’t break his stride as his expression kept up that half crazed smile.  

    “Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues, because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are.” He straightened up, waving his hand in front of his nose as if offended by the smell.

    “Sometime she gallops o'er a courtier's nose,” he went on, now using his own body as demonstration. “And then dreams he of smelling out a suit; and sometime comes she with a tithe-pig's tail, tickling a parson's nose as a' lies asleep, then dreams, he of another benefice: sometime she driveth o'er a soldier's neck, and then dreams he of cutting foreign throats.”

    He clutched his neck and Lucy felt something else change. Still in character, but the glee was gone, replaced with a menace that made her spine straighten. 

    “Of breaches,” he continued, “ambuscadoes, Spanish blades, of healths five-fathom deep; and then anon Drums in his ear,” he slammed his hand behind him making the glass of the storefront vibrate, “at which he starts and wakes, and being thus frighted swears a prayer or two and sleeps again.” 

    His eyes widened, his body like a live wire as if about the fall of the edge. 

    “This is that very Mab, that plats the manes of horses in the night, and bakes the elflocks in foul sluttish hairs, which once untangled, much misfortune bodes,” he shouted. “This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs, That presses them and learns them first to bear, making them women of good carriage: This is she—” 

    "Peace, peace,” Lucy interjected, grabbing his hand. She didn’t know how she remembered the line, but was grateful she did. It would all feel a waste if she didn’t. “Mercutio, peace. Thou talk'st of nothing."

    "True,” he admitted, as if suddenly allowed to breathe again. He jumped down from the bench, never letting go of her hand as he looked down into her eyes. “I talk of dreams, which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy, which is as thin of substance as the air, and more inconstant than the wind, who woos, even now the frozen bosom of the north, and, being angered, puffs away from thence, turning his side to the dew-dropping South."

    A silence fell then, not that Lucy notice for the thundering of her heart in her ears. She felt like her whole body was shaking. He really needed to stop looking at her like that. 

    Suddenly he looked away and up to the ceiling. 

    "I think it's Benvolio after that," he said, speculatively. 

    "Yeah," Lucy said, breathlessly. "I think you're right."

    Eddie looked back down. Mercutio was gone and he was back to his usual teasing self. "Good?"

    "Good?" she repeated. "Eddie, that was…holy shit!”

    She covered her mouth with her hands in some vain attempt to hide her smile and surely obvious blush.  

    She could say a lot of things to say about his impromptu performance; amazing, transcendent, mind blowing, but the one she kept coming back to was hot.  It was very, very hot. She couldn’t for the life of her explain why, but it was just about the sexiest thing she’d ever seen him do. 

    This was worse than when he ran lines with her for As You Like It.  New rule going forward, never let Eddie Munson perform Shakespeare. It was bad for her health.

    It didn’t help that he was grinning at her now with the most adorably proud expression. 

    “Think I earned that extra credit then?” he teased.

    “I think you deserve a full ride to Julliard.”

    He laughed. She couldn’t be sure, but she could have sworn his cheeks were slightly pink. 

    “Seriously, that was incredible,” she continued. “Why haven’t you auditioned before? You would be amazing.” 

    He waved her off. “Oh c’mon Henderson, you know the rules. Seniors take priority. If I join now they’d have to commit to a one man show. Wouldn’t be fair to the rest of you.” 

    “You should still give it a shot,” she insisted. “I think you’d fit right in.” 

“Yeah?”

    Lucy felt her stomach flip. The look in those beautiful brown eyes was so soft it made her melt. This was why she had been avoiding him. All it took was one innocent look and she was a goner. How did people handle this? 

    “Yeah,” she said, glancing away. “I mean, unless you’re still worried about your reputation.” 

    He snorted, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he pushed them both forward. 

    “How about this, after you’ve made your spectacular Broadway debut and if I’m not busy performing at The Garden, drop me a line. I’d be happy to do a reading.” 

    She nodded along.  “You’ll be my first call.” 

    They continued on like that for a little while, speaking of dreams as if they would someday be reality.  Lucy hoped they would and that maybe, someday, she’d be able to tell Eddie exactly how he fit into hers.

#stranger things #stranger things oc #eddie munson #lucy henderson #eddie munson x oc #eddie munson x henderson!oc #eddie munson x henderson!reader #2022 fic

[adultswim2021]

Titan Maximum #2: "Busted" | October 4, 2009 - 11:30PM | S01E02

The second dang episode of Titan Maximum is basically a second pilot, taking us through how the newly formed team navigates the bureaucracy of the future government in order to get a replacement giant robot to pilot and have space adventures with. There’s also a little bit of advancement with the villain of the show, a former member of the team. I don’t think I touched on that aspect even a little bit last time. The important thing to know is, they get themselves reinstated with the military and the little brother nerd kid is their new engineer, producing a new mech that’s seemingly superior in every way, except the face is hastily drawn on. The episode ends with them about to do their first actual episodic adventure.

The main characters on the show are mostly dicks. We see them do stuff that dicks do to be dicks and for no other reason other than because they are dicks. That’s the comedy, dicks being dicks. Okay. That’s fine, I guess, if you're not me. In this one we have a flashback to them raping the “statue of unity”, because they were drunk and acting arrogantly for, again, no real reason. Then at one point they do a joke where a grunt foot soldier in another part of the story says an obvious sexual joke out loud and there’s pronounced awkward silence. It’s just like, man, what point are you even making here?

There wasn’t a single funny joke in this whole episode. I started getting actually pissed off. So much so that I failed to keep good notes for this episode; I literally wrote “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS SUCKS” in a few different iterations without saying what I was reacting to. I should’ve been writing stuff like “the mean slut is showing her tits and being nasty.” Why, it’s like a season three episode of Sealab 2021, except for it probably took a year to animate instead of an afternoon.

I watched this on adultswim.com, and I’m probably going to get a DVD or download of this or something to watch instead. I was literally getting like, cartoonishly angry at this show, so much so that I started punching stuff. I am a lunatic, yes, but usually bad shows don’t upset me this much. Then, midway through the episode? I swear to fucking god, there was like 4 minutes of ads. They just jammed a commercial break in and it took for fucking ever. Every time a new ad started I actually started growling. Lotta ads for new shows coming soon to HBOMax. They all look like shit. Goddamn, I have never hated an app more than that app. I am thankful I don’t actually pay for it myself. 

To make it even worse: the one thing I stated as a positive about this show was the closing credits, which they interrupt for a lame callback joke. Then after the credits are over, they include a tag where a housekeeper explains an earlier joke where somebody pees in their space suit thinking it has a waste collection receptacle even though it doesn’t. Yeah, I saw that episode of Venture Bros. too.

MAIL BAG

got me katanas i want you to know, slicing up doors i want you to know, girl it's home movies i want you to know, don't know about you but i am wack...y coach mcguirk, wanna grow up to be, be a bob belcher

this was nice, pal, and I got a good laugh outta the deal. Well, see ya!

What can Delocated do in Season 2 to win you back? You seemed really down on it by the end. You didn't even like the part where he named all of Paul Rudd's lesser known movies.

You are full of shit! I literally named the final episode my favorite episode so far. I think all the feelings I had for the show roughly resembled the feelings I had for it back when it premiered. You're ignorant, pal.

He was in Anchorman, and The 40 Year Old Virgin, he was in The Shape of Things. He was in Clueless and Romeo + Juliet. He did a thing in Reno 911: Miami. The Cider House Rules. P.S. The Oh In Ohio. Knocked Up. He had a series of Broadway credits: The Last Night of Ballyhoo. Three Days of Rain with Julia Roberts. Twelfth Night at Lincoln Center. HE WAS IN HOUSE HUNTING!

"I like this" -me. See, now leave me alone.

Honestly I really like the *premise* of Titan Maximum. it's surprisingly earnest with it's deconstruction of Voltron, the character drama, the running story had a lot of potential, it looks great, Even the implied worldbuilding is fun. But like you said, the character writing is AWFUL. It's like a time capsule of the late 2000s "Workaholics" writers' board (twitter DOT com/podimportant/status/1369836756971835402). It sucks cause I like everything else about it but it really brings it down.

I probably should've noted this in the first episode, but I've never been a Voltron devotee. I don't remember ever watching it as a kid, and I've only seen a couple episodes as an Adult out of curiosity. So some of this show is probably lost on me. But the writing is so bad, I would highly doubt it would add anything for me.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #titan maximum

[minthara]

For Minthara and Penny! 26, 27,20, 21 ,11 >:) have fun

this took me ages to answer BUT THANK YOU i put the spicy ones at the end lmfao

11. What causes them to fight?

Gonna go for a more domestic angle in this post game relationship. Minthara would some day realise that Penny is literally the laziest person in the world, and I think there would be fights about Penny not applying herself. 

The general direction their life should go in would also only be settled after like…. decades of fighting hahahah. They’re elves, they have a lot of time, and Penny doesn’t want to decide what to do with her life yet. I think Minthara felt lost in the Underdark as well, or else she wouldn’t have left, but she takes a more active role in finding her calling while Penny just chills.

Also Penny would throw a lot of parties, which I think would annoy Minthara after a while.

ALSO!! Family stuff. If they live in Menzoberranzan, haven’t decided yet. It would be a whole Romeo and Juliet situation.

20. What is a promise they have made to each other? 

Minthara is gonna be very cliché and promise Penny that nobody will get to her and hurt her ever again. She does her best to try and is mostly successful.

Penny’s not a promise girl, and if she does make promises she usually breaks them. I think she would maybe promise Minthara to go with her wherever Minthara wants to.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

Penny changed Minthara for the better by showing her the power of friendship. Depending on how the game ends, I can see them staying friends with Astarion and Shadowheart. I think Minthara cannot be changed for the worse idk… I think Penny inflated her ego though, because she’s infatuated with her.

Minthara changed Penny for the better by giving her goals for her future, which Penny never had before. Changed her for the worse by enjoying the dark parts of Penny’s personality, which makes Penny indulge more in violence and other fun activities.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex? 

Penny is the kind of person who gets unhealthily attached to their favourite person. She enjoys just being touched by Minthara because that proves she’s there for her. She gets quite codependent, which Minthara doesn’t mind too much (most of the time). Their sex drives are about matched, but Minthara takes more of the dominant role and enjoys seeing how Penny doesn’t mind being vulnerable with her (they are drows after all. They kill each other often).

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

I think they mostly live those out on slaves tbh… not with each other. I can see Minthara being into even more fucked up shit than Penny lmfao, and Penny cut up her slaves to paint with their blood. Even though Penny is more submissive, they wouldn’t do anything close to BDSM with each other I think. 

#asks #anonymous #oc: penelope khalazza #otp: penelope x minthara