#this is meaningless if was just a nice realization and i kind of miss my oc but don’t know what to do with him

[hongdiwang]

revisiting content you made in the context of a relationship and realizing it’s been long enough you can repurpose the concepts without feeling some kind of way about it is dope actually. calling it healing would be a stretch but moving on is dope

#two immortals waiting on someone who loved them both in a begrudging truce and learning to love each other??? amazing actually imo #me kicking my little feet wondering what i can do with it #nice also to be like ‘i enjoyed writing this and passively miss this person’ without being. upset. it happened and now we’re here! #tbd. #this is meaningless if was just a nice realization and i kind of miss my oc but don’t know what to do with him

[drkmgs]

Shapeshifters

Wednesday Addams x Reader

Warning: mentioned of death, poisoned

Story type: multiple chapters

next chapter

Shapeshifters — were hunted down by people who were envious of their power. They made up stories and marked shapeshifters as criminals. Thousands of shapeshifters are getting killed day by day. Until it's only Hundreds of them left in hiding.

Your parents were one of them, even though they're educators, who had a better chance of hiding their powers, but they were more concerned about your upcoming powers, having them at an early age in this era was dangerous. People started getting suspicious and children your age started to cast you out.

At the age of 5, you have mastered your powers and that's when your parents decided to send you to Nevermore Academy. You were exploring the school premises when you overheard your parents and the newly appointed principal of the Academy.

Your mom: Larissa. Please. You have to take care of Y/N. The Hunters are after us as soon as we left the country. It would be dangerous if Y/N tagged along with us.

Your dad: and as an educator to an educator, Y/N has potential. They already managed to master their power. They're highly aware of what is happening. They won't cause any trouble.

Larissa: You don't have to worry. I will take Y/N under my wing. I promise.

You respected your parent's and Larissa Weems's decisions. As years went by you grew closer to Larissa Weems, so close that she's already a second mother to you and on your 14th birthday, you received devastating news. The hunters got to your parents. You cried your eyes out in the arm of your mother.

Ever since your parents died, you weren't the same and Weems noticed. So she sent you on a quest. Find and Explore. Find your purpose in life and explore the world. At the age of 18, you've completed your quest. You have published 4 books about your journey, about your parents, about shapeshifters and their truth, and most of all about Nevermore Academy.

———

As you arrived at the Nevermore Academy, you got a very odd feeling, something is wrong. You flew over to Ophelia Hall, where your old room was. You swiftly landed on the balcony, changing your form from a raven to a human with your Nevermore uniform. You soon realized you landed on the wrong balcony.

Larissa: What a pleasing surprise, Y/N.

Y/N: It's nice to see you, mother.

You smiled at her. Larissa got in front of everybody standing in the room to hug you. Of course, you hugged her back. You notice the unfamiliar faces and turned your attention to them.

Y/N: I am very sorry for interrupting. I'm Y/N Weems.

Morticia: It's alright, child. I'm Morticia Addams. This is my husband Gomez Addams and our daughter Wednesday Addams. She'll be attending Nevermore starting today.

Larissa: This is Enid Sinclair, Wednesday's roommate. Miss Sinclair, would you be so kind to take them to the registrar's office to pick up Wednesday's new uniform and their schedules and also give them a little tour?

She turned to the blonde girl standing beside you and then she looked at you putting a hand on your shoulder.

Larissa: I'll see you later, Y/N. We'll talk about your journey.

With that Wednesday's parents and Principal Weems left the room.

:I'm Enid Sinclair! That is Wednesday Addams. She just transferred here. By the way, I'm a big fan of your books!

She turned to you as soon as the door slammed shut.

Y/N: Nice to meet you, Enid, and thank you for reading my books.

Enid: You should have it online, so a lot more people could read it and share it. What's your Instagram account, I'll follow you.

Y/N: I'm sorry but I don't have a phone or social media. I also want my books to be authentic and not influenced by people who assume to know everything because they have a search engine.

Enid: Well, you have a good point. How about you Wednesday?

Wednesday: I find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.

You were quite impressed with her comment. Something about her sparked your interest. She wasn't like any other people you meet. She was out of the ordinary. Enid showed both of you the school and the quad. Where she introduced each Outcast sitting in the quad right now.

Whenever you had the chance you'd steal a glance at Wednesday, but as soon as you laid eyes on her you would curse yourself for being a creep. This never happened to you. You weren't interested in relationships. Sure you have met people along the way but they weren't interesting as the pigtailed girl standing beside you.

When Enid slipped into a conversation with her crush. Well, it was obvious to you that she has a crush on this gorgon guy Ajax, who she just introduced. You took the chance to talk to Wednesday.

Y/N: So, Addams. Why did you transfer here?

Wednesday: I dropped piranhas in a swimming pool, where my brother's bullies were training. My parents managed to get me in here, so I wouldn't have any criminal charges.

Y/N: Huh. How's your brother's bully?

Wednesday: Lost his genitals.

Y/N: Great. No more asshole kids from him then. One way to save the human race. Would you like to flee this gruesome scene?

You nod to Enid and Ajax's way, who were still invested in their conversation. Wednesday nods and you showed her the way out.

#wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams x you #wednesday addams #wednesday x reader #wednesday x you #wednesday #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #wednesday netflix #wednesday series #wednesday nevermore #wednesday x y/n #wednesday addams x gn reader #drkmgsstories #larrisa weems #principal weems

[mypulisicz]

sparks fly - christian pulisic

you're the kind of reckless that should send me running

summary - after not ever being in love y/n finds herself tangled up in a situation with a certain american footballer.

pairing - christian pulisic x fem!reader

song inso - sparks fly (taylor swift)

warnings! - language, mention of being drunk and alcohol

word count - 1.6k

note - this is my first fic back from my hiatus and my first pic on this new account and i am more than excited to share this with you. missed u guys xx

-

he sat there. still.

"jamie, i'm so sorry... i just... i don't know.."

"don't what?! don't love me? y/n, a whole fucking year together and you tell me you don't feel anything?! what do you expect me to say to that? this is fucking bullshit!"

you sat there. still.

you knew that jamie always loved you more than anything, ad in your defense you thought you loved him too, but as time went on and the more time you spent with him the more you realized you never truly loved him, at least not the way you thought he deserved to be loved.

"whatever, y/n. i'm fucking leaving"

gone. another relationship gone.

you couldn't process your thoughts.

you knew what you did was wrong, but you still couldn't believe what happened.

why couldn't you love people? why did every relationship you've had feel meaningless? why do you still try to date people?

the second you got in your car to leave the restaurant you started crying. you felt bad for jamie but you also felt bad for yourself.

you always tried so hard to love, to feel something that could only be described as irrevocable admiration and not just being infatuated with someone for a short period of time.

𖤐

a few weeks went by and you were doing better.

as cliche as it sounds, you had been working on yourself and just getting back to be afloat mentally.

in fact, you had gotten an invitation to a party your friend mason was throwing.

you didn't know if you were going to go or not. mason is a football player and his social crowd is much different from yours.

after thinking about it, you thought you would go. it would be nice to get out for a weekend and just let loose a little.

𖤐

the night of the party finally came and you were feeling good. you felt confident. you felt pretty. and you felt ready to just have a good time.

you pulled up to mason's house and the house was booming with music and lit up by bright LED lights from every angle inside and outside the house.

one thing about mason is that he takes throwing a party to heart as if its his job.

if it were his job he would be getting a promotion every party because holy shit.

usually you would get just a little overwhelmed and anxious about the scene, but tonight it made you excited and it filled you with adrenaline. you made your way to the door. you first wanted to find mason and just thank him for the invite and let him know you were here.

you walked into the house and was immediately met with a giant crowd of people, and soon realized that your mission of finding mason was going to be a lot harder than you thought.

after looking for a good 10, 15 minutes you decided to give up for a little and grab some food.

there were surprisingly not that many people near the food table, so you took advantage of that to grab as much food as possible.just as you were about to leave to table, a guy who looked oddly familiar walked up.

"hungry? me too."

as lame as the comment was, you giggled a little.

"just a little"

you two exchanged awkward smiles, and you thought it would end there, but the man broke the silence with an even lamer statement.

"so, what's your favorite fruit?"

maybe it wasn't lame, but it was certainly... interesting?

"hmmm maybe an apple. they are never not good, y'know?

"yeah i totally agree..... i'm christian by the way"

"i'm y/n"

"nice to meet you, y/n"

"nice to meet you, christian"

𖤐

you spent the next hour talking to strangers and dancing. you were enjoying yourself way more than you thought you would. you did in fact find mason and you two talked for a good 20 minutes.

while you were talking to people the same guy, christian, came up to talk.

"hey stranger"

it was an ironic statement because you were, in fact, strangers.

"christian! how've you been?" one of the guys said.

from then on you just watched the conversation. it was interesting getting to know more about christian, and everyone in that group.

some more time went by and mason found his way over to you and the people you were talking to.

"oi chris, i see you met y/n"

"what's up. and yeah. she's great."

"is christian here being a dick to you or trying to start something?"

christian rolled his eyes as you sat there and let out a small chuckle.

𖤐

the party went on for a few more hours, and you were more than tired. you were very drunk and ready to just go home and get in bed.

you said goodbye to mason and the people you had met throughout the night, including christian, but right as you were about to leave you realized you couldn't drive. you were very much not sober.

"hey mase, i hate to ask you this but could you maybe drive me home, i've had way too much to drink and can't drive. not like this"

"yeah of course!"

as mass grabbed his keys christian walked up to the door to grab his jacket and disown keys.

"i thought you left?"

"yeah, well, i'm way too drunk to drive home so mason is giving me a ride."

"well i'm leaving now if you want me to just drive you home. if that's fine with you of course"

"um, yeah, sure, that's actually great, thanks!"

you got in christians car and were immediately meet with a surprising absence of awkwardness, as if you were already friends with christian.

"so where to ya live? in a non creepy way. i realize how weird that sounds to ask"

you let out a chuckle and told him where you lived and he started driving.

you two talked the entire way to your house. you had assumed he was one of masons teammates, but christian said he did in fact play for chelsea with mason. you also found out that you two had a lot in common. you both liked the same music, rap and country, which he found odd that an english girl liked country, and that you both had a bit of an obsession with chipotle. christian was also surprised to find out that you were part american. well, your dad was american, so it wasn't really that important or interesting, but christian thought it was wild.

when you finally got to your house you felt a wave of disappointment. you really enjoyed talking to christian. it was like you two had been friends for years. at least, that's how it felt.

"this might be weird to ask, but do you wanna come in?"

"sure"

christian smiled and walked in through the door, making you blush.

you fixed the both of you some microwavable taquitos and sat on the couch. you were watching a show, but not really watching it. you and christian talked for what felt like hours.

by this point you had sobered up quite a bit and you could finally start remembering the night as more than just a blur.

then it hit you that you were in your living room, eating taquitos, watching love island, with christian pulisic, who is your friend masons teammate.... and it wasn't awkward or weird.

one thing lead to another and the next thing you know, you and christian were all over each other.

there were these exploding, bright, but heavy fireworks going off between you. it was something you never felt before.

the two of you broke the kiss at the same, both gasping for air while simultaneously giggling.

you kept on thinking

holy fuck he's a good kisser.

𖤐

the next few weeks went by and you had gone on multiple dates with christian, and spent multiple nights at his house, and visa-versa.

you two had started to develop something more than just hookups and more of a relationship.

christian had invited you over to his house, which wasn't abnormal, so you didn't feel the need to get super dressed up. you but on some jeans, a sweater, and then did your hair and makeup. you then headed over to his house. christian greeted you with a kiss and wrapped his arm around your waist.

"you look good"

"thanks you too"

the two of you walked to his living room, and before being able to do or say anything, christian spoke.

"y/n, what are we?"

"huh?"

"are we just a casual thing, or are we more, because its been driving e crazy. i don't want to overwhelm you with this question, but if you don't mind, i would like an answer"

you sat there and smiled. you had been waiting for this conversation. you had been thinking the same thing, and where you didn't have a problem with being casual if that's what christian wanted, you did want to be more than just hookups and dates. you had felt something with him you hadn't felt with anyone else, including jaime.

"oh christian... i have been wanting to talk about this for a long time too"

"so? what are we?"

he moved closer to you. you moved closer to him.

faces just centimeters apart, both of you being able to feel and hear each others breathing.

"i want to be together. for real. i want to be fully with you, christian"

christian placed his hand on your cheek and moved his eyes from your eyes to your lips.

"i have never agreed with anything more in my life"

christian then placed his lips on yours in a gentle, yet eager way.

it was like you could almost see see the sparks fly.

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic fic #chelsea #chelsea fc #fanfic #fanfics #soccer #mypulisicz #mason mount

[grunge-innie]

_________________________________________

Home

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Genre:fluff,blurb

Pairings:Lee Know x GN!reader

Summary:Your boyfriend went on tour and you miss him

Pronouns:none

____________♡________♡______________

[4:11PM]Imagine suprising Lee Know on tour.Your boyfriend Lee Know has been on tour for a long time now and you missed him dearly.Sure you would face time and call each other at any given chance but nothing could replace the touch of a loved one.

Recently Lee Know has been getting a lot more busy so your calls would always be cut short because one of the members would enter his room and tell him that they have to go somewhere or do something.You were tired,you were tired of feeling cold and alone at night,you were tired of not having those sometimes meaningful,but sometimes meaningless conversations with Lee Know.You felt selfish because you knew that this was his passion and that he needs to work hard,but you couldn't stop thinking of how nice it would feel to cuddle with him again.One night your feelings overtook and you packed a suitcase with some necessities and messaged Chan to ask him in what city they were currently in and the name of the hotel they were staying at.When you finally arrived Chan messaged you and told you to first come to his room so you don't have to carry your suitcase around with you,and so he can tell you in which hotel room Lee Know is currently in.

After you talked to Chan for a bit you two exited his room and headed towards Lee Know's room.So you could suprise him better you decided to hide behind Chan as he knocked on the door.The door was soon opened by Han.Seeing that it's just him you poked your head out behind Chan and waved at Han.His mouth opened and his eyes widened in shock as you put your finger on your lips to tell him to be silent.

"Who's at the door?"You heard Lee Know ask and just hearing his voice after so much time gave you butterflies.

"It's just Chan."Han replied entering the room and motioning you two to enter.You decided to stay hidden behind Chan but you still managed to see your boyfriend.

He was siting on the king sized bed that the hotel provided for them and there was a joystick in his hands.He was starring at the screen of the TV,his back turned towards you.Even after he heard that Chan is there he didn't take his eyes of the TV,he just said hi and continued to play.You decided to take the chance and hug him from the back.

"You're making me lose,get off of me"He said thinking that it was one of the two members in the room that were hugging him.

"You've hurt my feelings Minho."At the sound of your voice Lee Know turned around so fast that you would've thought that he would break his neck.

"Y/N what are you doing here!!"He exclaimed. "Are you actually here or am i high or something?"He asked again just to make sure he isn't dreaming.

"Yeah I'm really here,love"You answered through your laughs.When he got over his shock after seeing you he turned around and hugged you so tight that you thought that your bones would break.

After seeing this heartwarming moment Han and Chan decided to leave and give you some privacy(and Han may or may not tell everyone what happened).

After Minho saw that they left he cradled your face and stared deeply into your eyes.

"I missed you so much."He said as his voice went silent and soft.

"I missed you more."You said in the same kind of tone that he was using.You ended your staring contest by sneakily looking at his lips.He realized what you were doing and decided to take the lead and kiss you.

The kiss was full of passion and love.His soft lips on top of yours felt like coming home.His hands and fingers on your face felt like home.His scent felt like home.Even though you were in some random hotel that you've never visited before,he felt like home.

The rest of the night was filled with you two cuddling and talking about Soonie,Doongie and Dori(after you made sure to tell him that his mum is taking care of them while you're here)You guys talked about what you've been up to while being apart and you made sure that he was taking care and wasn't overworking himself.As the time turned into the early hours of the morning before sun even came out you felt yourself getting sleepier.The last thing that you can remember before falling asleep was a kiss on your forehead and a silent "i love you."

Masterlist

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A/N:Hope you all enjoyed this.I genuinely hate using Y/N but I couldn't think of anything else,anyways hope you're doing fine and love you

AJ♡

#lee know #lee know x reader #lee know x y/n #lee know x you #stray kids soft hours #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids blurbs #lee know blurb #lee know fluff

[feyre-darling92]

Hi, I like the fluff and Anakin Skywalker ,my love 💗 . I don't know what you think about the reader being a senator , kind of like Anakin and the reader love each other but not officially a couple yet , Ani is on a mission in the outer rim and it has taken him two months to come back .

Being away from his angel has given him time to realize that he needs her by his side . They confess their feelings to each other and then kiss and hug all the fluff.

Hope you like it

That's a nice idea! Hope you like it!

T/W: Just fluff, bad writing, let me know if I missed anything.

Word Count: 687

Being a Senator was never easy, especially when you had long and boring meetings at the end of the day but knowing that your beloved Jedi would wait to escort you back to your chamber kept you going.

You see, a couple of weeks ago Anakin, a Jedi Padawan was assigned to protect you and although in the beginning, you were against that you soon found out that you rather enjoyed his company.

Well, to be honest, you had started catching feelings for him but you knew that it was very hard and he was a Jedi after all and you were a Senator and there were all these problems and… ugh, why did it have to be so difficult?

You brushed these thoughts off as you exited the meeting room and you met him, as usual, waiting for you.

"Hello Anakin" you smiled, your tiredness leaving immediately as soon as your eyes met his.

"Hello, Y/N. How was the meeting?" he was a little bit … distant. At least you thought so.

"As always. Boring and we argued again" you sighed. "But enough of this. How are you?"

"I am fine. I am just- um-"

"Anakin, what happened?"

"I am leaving tomorrow" he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"Another mission?" you breathed relieved that it wasn't anything else.

"Yeah. Only that I don't know how long I'll be gone"

"Oh" your face dropped by the sound of these words, "I mean, it must be something important right?"

"Yes, it is"

"Then go and be as great as you're always" you smiled encouragingly at him.

He smiled too, "You are wonderful"

You hope he didn't notice you blushing hard when you muttered a thank you and you continued walking till you reached your destination.

"Well thank you for… you know"

"My pleasure"

You exchanged goodbyes and you both walked opposite ways when you stopped.

"Anakin?"

"Yes?"

"Be careful. Please"

"I will, I promise"

Two months. Two whole months and you hadn't heard from him. You were scared, scared that something bad had happened, that something had gone wrong.

You had asked everyone you knew but no one anything.

These months you had realized that reality without him was meaningless, that you couldn't live without him, that you… damn, you loved him.

Even if you didn't know Anakin had missed you too. More than you could ever imagine.

He counted the days to come back to you, see your beautiful face, hear your voice, the sound of your laugh.

He had realized how much he loved you from the day he left and he waited for the day he would return and tell you. Only that it took him longer than he had planned.

Finally, the day had come.

You ran to the platform the moment they told you that Anakin and his Master were about to land.

When the ship landed and the two figures became more and more clear as they approached you you examined them and thankfully no one had major injuries.

"Master Kenobi, Anakin, good to see you safe and sound"

"Senator L/N. Hope you're doing well" Obi-wan greeted you and when he saw the look you and his padawan exchanged he excused himself, saying he had to go and give a full report to the council.

You both watched him disappear and you couldn't help yourself but hug him.

"I missed you" you breathed out and felt his grip tighten around you.

"I missed you more"

You finally let him go "I need to tell you something" "I want to tell you something," you both said in unison.

"You first" you smiled.

"No, you"

"I love you and I-"

You were cut off by his lips crashing into yours, finally after all these months telling each other silently what you felt.

Only when you were breathless you pulled away.

"I love you"

He pressed his forehead against yours, "I love you too"

For the rest of the day you were together at your chamber cuddling, still not believing that he was and he would be by your side

#anakin x reader #feyre-darling92 #feyre darling92 #star wars x reader #fanfic #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #star wars fanfiction #asks

[linawritestwst]

i need more music club content lol could you please fill the void in my heart with the green, teal, magenta and pink colors for cater, kalim and lilia?

ah, music club! probably my favorite club, now that i think about it. their dynamic is just so fun! anyway, here's what i wrote for them.

warning: an implication of possessive/yandere behavior in lilia's section.

cater diamond.

GREEN: "does this character ever get jealous? if so, how does he express it?"

yep, this guy does get jealous. and just like with most negative feelings, cater would never show it. oh, you're having so much fun with this person? sweet, he's so happy for you! you two look great together! he won't try to make you pay more attention to him, cater just finds it meaningless. what's the point of trying to make you notice him, when it's obvious that you like that person more? he should support your relationship with them instead!.. haha, he never had a chance with you, did he?

TEAL: "what's this character's type? what kind of person would be a perfect partner for him?"

hmm, i feel like cater likes people that have this.. "cool aura", if i had to describe it? like, confident people who have everything under control. he just admires them so much! he might act like his usual self around them, but if a person like that actually does notice him, cater just. loses it. help, what should he do, WHAT SHOULD HE DO-

MAGENTA: "how does this character realize he's in love?"

cater really is smarter than he appears and he realizes that he's in love with you pretty quickly. but here's the thing: sure, he does realize it, but he will deny it and it hurts him to be honest with himself and admit that he has feelings for you. he even wishes he never realized that he's in love with you, everything would be so much easier if it didn't happen. and now he has to deal with all these feelings.. well, he'll just continue acting like your friend! like he didn't just go "wait, i think i'm in love with them"..

PINK: "how does this character confess to his crush? is it easy for him or he needs a lot of time?"

it's hard for him. it's really hard. but cater knows that even though it would be nice if you never found out about his crush on you, he can't just hope that his feelings for you will go away eventually. he has to actually do something. so, how does cater confess to you?.. well, it's cater and he's KINDA SCARED of confessing to you directly and he also still wants his confession to be "in character", so.. he sends you one of those "send this to your crush with no context" videos. yeah.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

kalim al-asim.

GREEN: "does this character ever get jealous? if so, how does he express it?"

tbh i don't think kalim is a type to get jealous. and if he does, that jealousy is more like "i'm glad that you like spending time with that person, but don't forget about our date tomorrow! :)" and not like "i saw you laughing at that person's joke, i see, you like them more than me". kalim is genuinely happy to see you getting along with other people and he would never think that he's too boring for you or you're tired of him. sure, he does miss you sometimes, but he trusts you and he knows that you would never leave him! and if you're not dating yet, this guy would (most likely) not get jealous at all, i mean, you two are just friends, why should he get jealous when he sees you with someone else?

TEAL: "what's this character's type? what kind of person would be a perfect partner for him?"

i think it would be nice if kalim's s/o could sort of.. "balance him out"? like, if they were more calm and collected than him and they could work as kalim's braincell when his braincell doesn't want to work, haha. kalim would find a person like that so interesting too! like woah, you're so smart, y/n! can you tell him more about this? can you teach him to do this? he would praise you all the time and he would just?? admire you so much?? his s/o is so cool!!

MAGENTA: "how does this character realize he's in love?"

good question, he doesn't. OKAY, OKAY, HE DOES. he's just.. very dense. kalim is like that romance anime/game protagonist, who keeps thinking "oh, they must really like me as a friend" when someone is obviously flirting with them or trying to confess their love. but when he DOES realize it, he goes ":O!! how did i not think of it before??" everything makes sense to him now, he always liked you as a friend, but hanging out with you felt a bit.. different. like you really were more than a friend to him, but he didn't know how to describe this feeling. oh well, he must do something with this knowledge now!

PINK: "how does this character confess to his crush? is it easy for him or he needs a lot of time?"

kalim is very excited to confess to you, but when it's finally time to do so, it suddenly hits him. HE'S GOING TO CONFESS HIS LOVE TO YOU. THAT'S.. THAT'S A LOT. so yeah, he does get a bit nervous, but he manages to calm himself down. it's okay if you don't like him in the same way, he loves being friends with you and your friendship is precious to him. and he'll make sure to not hurt your feelings or make you feel awkward. and if you accept his confession.. he would be so happy.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

lilia vanrouge.

GREEN: "does this character ever get jealous? if so, how does he express it?"

lilia likes to joke about feeling jealous when he sees you with someone else. he would definitely say things like "oh no, did you forget about me?" or "i can't believe you love them more than me.. you broke my heart, y/n.." but he never means it, right? RIGHT? well, sometimes he does. let's just say that if he stares at his "rival" for a little bit too long, he really is jealous. if it's not serious, lilia will just ask you for more attention and will be more affectionate with you in public, so that everyone knows you belong to him and also because he wants to see your reactions. and if it IS serious.. lilia will have to make sure you don't spend too much time with that person. and if they even think about stealing you away from lilia, they will regret it the moment they make that decision.

TEAL: "what's this character's type? what kind of person would be a perfect partner for him?"

i feel like lilia just really likes people who are different in some way. maybe they have a unique hobby, maybe their personality is unpredictable, maybe it's hard for them to fit in because of some reason. he just finds them so interesting, it's always refreshing to meet a person who's not like anyone he has ever met. what kind of stories will they tell him? what did they have to go through? tell him more about yourself, he'll gladly listen.

MAGENTA: "how does this character realize he's in love?"

lilia is one of the smarter boys and he realizes he's in love with you almost instantly. of course, he has a lot of experience, considering his age and his long life, so i doubt it would be his first time falling in love with someone. he even jokingly refers to his feelings for you as "love at first sight", that's how fast he realized that he loves you. he would continue acting like nothing happened, but he would give you hints and hope that you will get them.

PINK: "how does this character confess to his crush? is it easy for him or he needs a lot of time?"

lilia will actually take more time thinking about confessing to you. he doesn't want to rush things, he wants to "observe you" for some time. is there really a chance that you love him back? he's not insecure or anything, he knows that you may have other reasons to reject him. but lilia doesn't want to confess to you unless he's absolutely sure that there's a chance that the feeling is mutual. again, he's not afraid of rejection, he just doesn't want to waste your time and also.. what if his feelings for you are not as strong as he thinks? what if they go away soon? lilia can't confess to you unless he's confident he really loves you and wants to spend a big part of his life with you.

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #twst imagines #twst headcanons #cater diamond #cater diamond x reader #kalim al asim #kalim al asim x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader

[oodlyenough]

last of us 1x07 left behind

left behind is like. my fave dlc ever so i was anxious for this one

I anticipated from the start this episode would be unpopular with both the action-oriented crowd (who I... have to assume aren't really enjoying this show at all at this point? lol) and homophobes, so I'm unsurprised to see it ranking lower with people and getting reviewbombed by losers

but TOO BAD it's an episode for ME

I've been liking Bella Ramsey more and more as the series goes on but this episode really clinched it for me I think, I felt she gave a great performance and all those longing looks and mixed emotions around Riley all ep were super well done. I'm sure some people were still shocked Pikachu by the kiss bc that's how dense the audience is sometimes but Ramsey was really giving it their all. Adjusting her hair in front of the window fjlghlksg... The awkward ping-ponging between trying to seem cool and unaffected, trying to impress Riley in both more adult ways (like fixing her hair, drinking the booze) and such kiddie ways (showing off on the escalator)... very good

Storm Reid's Riley was very good as well. I thought the tension between the two of them -- not just the romantic tension but like, both trying to have fun while ignoring the elephant in the room, etc, was well played.

They got a bit luckier in some places here than in the DLC (Riley got to ride the carousel too; the photobooth actually printed, albeit a washed out shitty copy; the arcade WORKED) which felt like kind of nice compensation and a nice way to adapt it to a passive medium lol.

This was quite a faithful adaptation despite changing some of the core conflict between Riley and Ellie. I don't mind the changes... I really loved the "you mattered to me first" exchange, you can really feel all of Ellie's Issues, poor kid. I also felt Riley's impending sewer assignment vs Ellie on the officer fast track was an interesting contrast.

I realize the Firefly pendants are an in-game collectible, so putting them on screen doesn't really make sense (and if you think about it, having a token on you that instantly identifies you as a rebel to FEDRA is simply just Not a good strategy LOL) ... but I did miss it in this ep because Riley ripping the Firefly pendant off her neck when Ellie asks her to stay is imo more powerful than Riley just going "okay". I mean I know Riley meant that "okay" geuinely, but lol, doesn't hit the same.

My biggest reservation this episode was probably that I'm still not really ...sure about/comfortable with the Both Sides-ing of FEDRA and the Fireflies. (I know some fans will scream up and down about how the Fireflies were always some evil sinister shadow org or whatever but 🙄 lmfao) The Ellie-Riley-Marlene relationship being changed I'm on the fence about until we see the rest of Marlene's backstory... I feel like it could go either way depending what they do. I suppose the Fireflies were always a bit morally gray....

But the softening of FEDRA is very questionable to me lol -- Riley's clearly right that Ellie is parroting propaganda, but I think we're also meant to agree with Ellie that Riley doesn't know what the Fireflies are really doing, and that Riley is parroting THEIR propaganda, and I just... like... I dunno man. FEDRA is pretty awful. FEDRA rounded up citizens and then shot them all and left the bodies in a ditch. FEDRA uses the death penalty for minor infractions. They overthrew the government in a military coup. Dwight Schrute voice FEDRA are the bad guys Jim.

Other notes:

-loved the water gun reference, hehe

-I was so happy for them getting to play the actual arcade games mlao

-OMG the masks are like pixel perfect to the game...

-miss u skeleseer ... you live in my heart

-it felt like a stretch to me that Spirit Halloween would be Ellie's fave (hence saved for last) after the other things were SO cool lol

-I get why people missed current-day Ellie scavenging in the mall but I think it would've been mostly meaningless on the show, and having her tear the house apart to find some needle and thread worked the same really

#the last of us #the last of us hbo

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Just got back from L&T. Thoughts under the cut. But first, a pic of my girl (sorry, I mean, Your Majesty 👑):

So I have a few negatives to talk about but let's start with the positives.

The scene with Thor and Zeus when he's trying to convince him to join him against Gorr reminded me so much of his talk with Odin in TDW. At some point I thought they were trying to draw some parallels... but honestly I don't know if it's just me seeing things when there's nothing. Either way, I liked it.

Thor's speech to the kids towards the end was touching.

Val handling King duties and enjoying it was lovely to see.

Jane explaining the Einstein-Rosen bridge while under chemo. She was never boring and that enthusiasm is contagious. "You just destroyed your book!" - "Yeah! But now you understand wormholes!". She's lovely and I'll miss her.

Heimdall! My beloved. Only for 10 seconds but hey, I'll take whatever they give me, I love that man. Shorter hair too!

And this is something between a positive and a negative: I like that Thor said to Quill something in the lines of (I'm paraphrasing here): "You have a team that cares for each other, I never had that". I actually liked it because from what we've seen in the movies he had 4 friends who seemed to follow him and look up to him but we never saw him having a deep conversation with them, to me they were more party/battle friends than anything and Thor always stroked me as a very lonely person despite being a prince. Not to mention the Avengers never truly showed any interest, let alone compassion, especially in EG. So that line is interesting to keep in the movie...... that is, if you do something with it. But they just had him say it then ignored it for the rest of the movie. It's such a lost opportunity. Imagine Thor shit-talking the Avengers and setting the record straight after EG... if only.

Now, the negatives.

I don't understand all this talk about worthiness. If Ragnarok was supposed to teach Thor and the audience anything is that being worthy is utterly meaningless! Lifting Mjolnir was always entirely subjective, reliant on a bunch of rules dictated by a deeply flawed character like Odin. Thor is supposed to know he doesn't need that hammer or the axe or anybody's approval. He's the golden child, if he doesn't learn that then his arc keeps going in circles, and round and round it goes. It makes no sense.

I can't believe 2 movies in since she was introduced and my girl Val does not get a name. I appreciate people calling her Val but surely she's got a name, right? And her horse? I'll say this though: I don't remember them giving him a name but I'm grateful, if they call him anything but Aragorn my URL is truly fucked 😜

Why bring Sif back? She's the LAST connection Thor has to his old life. I was so happy to see her again since I genuinely thought he was going to lose it or they were gonna have some chat or something, but nah, they share one scene that's eerily similar to Thor 1 and they're good to go.

Once again character development is done in a rushed one-minute sequence. I watch these movies because I care about these characters, if that means you add 25 minutes to the damn movie then do so. If that means you cut a few fights then do so.

Thor realizing he wants and needs love is nice but giving him a kid is not the way to go, that's giving him someone to care for when he should be caring ABOUT AND FOR HIMSELF.

What kind of relationships does he have with Val and the others? A bunch of scenes with the Guardians and all I saw were screams and nothing more when that team is more a family than anything else, they wouldn't go about it like the Avengers (battle together then each member goes their own way), the Guardians care.

I would have wanted to see how the Asgardians are adapting to Earth or a bit more from New Asgard. Jane gets a statue, that's cool, no statues for anybody else though?

Oh the """queer rep""".... we were told she would look for her Queen but of course that didn't happen, I wish I could say I'm surprised but I'm not. And she doesn't even get to say anything, it's Korg who says "girlfriend" and leaves it at that? You know what, it's far worse to have this, I'd rather not have anything. If this is as far as they're willing to go please STOP. Everyone is straight, that's easier to digest.

Also, it's so fucking annoying to see people erasing her identity and saying she's a lesbian. No she isn't, Valkyrie is bisexual. We have enough bi erasure as it is, don't contribute to it.

And speaking of my girl... where the fuck is her arc? She gets no story, her pegasus is only on screen a couple times, she seems to be enjoying being a King so why not show that and how she's growing from being a warrior raised to kill to becoming someone trustworthy who loves her people and learns the humans' rules so she can defend them? Also she's still not redeemed, she has never said anything about how she feels after being raised to kill and commit genocide, how she felt about Odin (when Gorr was telling her I was almost begging! for her to speak up). I will admit I jumped when she was stabbed though. I may have a weird definitely non-healthy attachment to her lol

The problem about introducing new and powerful cities and weapons while Feige keeps parroting all that bs about "connected universe" is that it makes previous movies absolutely useless. So Thor knew about Omnipotent City? Why not go there in IW instead of Nidavellir then? Once you open the portal to Eternity why not kill Gorr and ask for anything...

Gorr the God Butcher who's shown on-screen killing the crazy amount of......... one god in the entire movie. So much for butchering.

"Lady Thor", "the name is Mighty Thor or Dr Jane Foster", I knew she was going to say that. Way too forced. You want feminism, Marvel? Flesh out the female characters and stop giving them the suits and powers of their male counterparts.

And lastly, what Mjolnir means to Thor. What that hammer represents is his past, his family, the time when stability was ensured and he had everything he wished for, back in the day when he didn't know the lies and what was hiding underneath the golden palace and his father's machinations. His attachment to Mjolnir in reality what it hides is his subconscious desire to go back to that time, which is exactly why he should despise that hammer! Not through hate for Hela but disappointment and anger towards his father.

All I keep seeing in these movies is Thor not growing up or out of his golden child status and I HATE IT. And it seems the only way they know to make characters "grow" is by giving them a romance or a kid... these characters need self-love, how is it possible that these writers and directors don't understand that familial, romantic, etc love is not the same as self-love? That you can have a million people who love you and still not love yourself?

Overall this is clearly the worst Thor movie for me, worse than Ragnarok, and I give it a 4/10 and I'm being generous (3,5 of those are for Val 😂). I still love Thor though, there are.... flashes of his old self and while short they remind me why I've always been a big fan of his.

Thor honey, you deserve so much more than this.

#Thor #thor: love and thunder #thor love and thunder #thor love and thunder spoilers #spoilers #valkyrie #mcu critical

[gas-stxtion]

@triggerbigger said:

Gimme some of that cold cash I want to stuff it in my couch C'mon, bring me those big stacks I need them bricks to build my house Give me all of that, all of that 'til the ATM runs out If money can't buy happiness Then why is it so fabulous?

from "Money" by Poppy, for the song chorus meme. Good luck ;)

The party has been in full swing for several hours by this point, and the sun has long since set outside the opulent mansion Spencer finds himself in. People are laughing and chattering, milling about and getting to know each other, gloating about their wealth and accomplishments. This kind of place isn’t exactly Spencer’s scene, to put it lightly--every over-the-top boast grates on his ears, and the faux politeness coming from the ‘old money’ in the crowd is getting on his last fucking nerve.

Spencer would never claim to not give a shit about money, nor will he deny that his work has made him a wealthy man. While his work is unorthodox and, legally speaking, mostly made up of under-the-table deals, he’s put in the time and dedication to get where he is now. Every cent Spencer has he fucking earned, and it all goes to good use. He’s never been the type to hoard money for the sake of it, nor does he particularly enjoy flaunting it.

However, things weren’t always that way. Spencer grew up just below the poverty line, in a shitty podunk town in middle of nowhere in the deep south. Even for the town he’s from, he was poorer than dirt, and it’s only been through his determination to--quite literally, in some cases--claw his way out of that situation that he is where he is now.

It’s been years since Spencer was poor, but he remembers it vividly, the memories hanging heavy over his shoulders. Seeing all the wealthy elite around him is getting to him, and he’s starting to regret agreeing to this in the first place. He barely holds back his sneers at their petty, pathetic little concerns, at their meaningless gossip and all the bullshit they spout.

Oh, didn’t you hear? Mister So-And-So is considering buying a second yacht, Miss Who-Fucking-Cares is upset her maid had the audacity to demand a living wage, blah, blah, blah. How fucking interesting. It’s nights like this that Spencer actually considers drinking, if nothing else than to numb his senses, but he manages to hold his resolve.

Perhaps it’s no surprise, then, that Spencer has found himself on one of the balconies, out of the way of the majority of the partygoers. He leans against the railing, overlooking the grounds below with steely blue eyes. The grounds themselves are nice and well-kept, and all Spencer can think is to wonder which poor, underpaid bastards did that.

A sigh escapes him, though it sounds more like a growl, and he runs a hand through his long hair, freeing it from his usual ponytail. His client, the lady running this party in the first place, had insisted that he come here tonight, that she would only be able to give him his payment if he came. Oh, of course, and he had to dress up.

It didn’t take long for him to realize she was more looking to use him as a conversation starter than anything, as the handsome stranger she could parade around to impress all of her stupid rich friends. The only thing keeping Spencer from either slitting someone’s throat or just fucking leaving is the payment she promised, but even that is starting to lose its appeal.

As he starts redoing his ponytail with methodical fingers, he allows another growl to escape his gritted teeth.

“This party fucking sucks,” he says aloud to the empty air, hardly caring at this point if anyone hears him.

#closer to canon verse: sharp left turn #triggerbigger #//i considered throwing jerry at the onceler again for the comedic value #//but i think. i think it's time for him to meet spencer #//once again featuring my headcanon that spencer doesn't drink #//onceler i apologize if he tries to stab you #//also teddy congrats on having good music taste #you and your friends here are all kinds of messed up {in character}

[ponsey]

Patrick Bateman did nothing wrong.

Patrick Bateman is one of the most miserable characters I have ever seen in fiction. Not once does he seem happy, even remotely emotional really, not otherwise counting the massive bursts of range every once in a while. Frankly, I have my doubts he has been happy at any point in his life.

It’s honestly pretty funny to me how hard people miss the point of Patrick’s character; he *quite literally* explains the entire point of it within the first 15 minutes of the movie. From his opening monologue in his introduction scene where he talks about all his material possessions than ending with that he feels completely empty, to his defining admission to his fiance on how he does everything he does solely to fit in. Those two moments are the thesis of the movie.

So much of the movie is the rich thinking themselves how much better than they than the poor but don’t hesitate to go down to doing the same activities as them, then scolding them for it…while they’re doing the same thing! People of that high of a social standing not even seeing themselves as such, as all their material possessions are all they see, yet their only usage for them is still getting the slightest of edges over their peers. This is something that everyone does! No matter their social standing, people are always gonna want to get an edge over their peers. But for the people who are that well off, the sheer amount of possessions they have blinds them to any kind of feeling.

That’s the problem in Bateman’s life. He’s bored. He’s lonely. And self-destructive. The closest he ever gets to someone is him asking out Jean, and even then when he’s pouring his heart out to her the most while he his holding a nail gun (or at the very least visualizing doing such I’ll touch on that in a bit). And he just feels trapped at the top. He realizes he has no relatability to other people, from the bottom of the latter to his own peers, he’s just the loneliest, saddest guy imaginable.

I meant what I said by the way, Patrick did none of the acts, no one in his life raises even an eye to any of his actions, besides some vaguely erratic behavior. His words are so consistently misinterpreted that he had to have made everything up. When he is “taking Paul Allen’s body away” the only notable thing someone can comment on his how nice the bag is. That’s the most perfect metaphor I can think of for the message this movie, and is, individually, perhaps the film’s funniest moment is a lengthiest number of them.

The whole movie is a morbid comedy about people like this, and the genius of it is that it’s masked as a dark thriller. This work exists to make a mockery of the types of lives the ultra wealthy live by painting everything they do as meaningless and having no effect on themselves. It’s incredible in that regard. And for that reason, we’ve come full circle. The fact that there this many memes about this movie made by people who have never seen it is so weirdly fitting.

#the scrunkly #my little meow meow #rean schwarzer

[universallyvoidcloud]

The Meeting

TK: Yeah...okay...tonight? Yeah, that's no problem...okay. 7? I'll be there.

I hung up the phone, then turned to address my buddy, Gan.

•Guess I'll be spending time with Santana.

Gan: I don't get it. I don't get you.

TK: What?!

Gan: These meaningless hookups. Don't you get tired of this shit?

I really hate when he does that shit to me. I have no issues living my life the way it's being lived.

TK: Well, first off, my entertainment is never meaningless. Second, I don't need you and your morals trying to make me feel bad.

Gan: Your entertainment?! That's what I'm talking about. You use women...

TK: That's a damn lie, you know it is. I've never mislead anyone. They know what I want, same as them.

Gan: Yeah? Well, you're a horrible liar. We both know you're doing this stupid shit to keep them at a distance. You're afraid.

Ok, I'll bite.

TK: Of what, Dr. Song?

Gan: Are you really going to make me say it?

I just glared at him.

•You're afraid of commitment. Scared to get close enough for someone to hurt you. That's why you have a different "playmate" every time you go out.

I held my hand up.

TK: I've had enough of your psychoanalysis bullshit. I don't need you, or anyone else lecturing me on my life. I have no problem committing to anything, but I won't commit to the first pretty face that falls in my lap. She will have to be worthy of my loyalty. These women only sniff around because of what I have and what I can do. I'm not stupid.

Gan: Well, maybe if you looked a little deeper...

TK: Maybe if you minded the business that pays you and stayed out of mine, you wouldn't have to worry about shit like this.

Gan: Shit like what?

I reached out and smacked him upside his head.

•What the fuck? You asshole.

I laughed. He picked up a spoon and threw it at me. Naturally, he missed.

TK: And you're still shit when it comes to throwing.

That got a laugh out of him. He flipped me off, then started rummaging through the fridge.

Gan: When did your mom cook these gyoza?

TK: Last night.

He pulled the leftovers out and threw some on the plate. At the same time, my sister came through the door. And she had a beautiful girl with her.

Dae: Here's the kitchen, over there are my brothers. The one with the food is Gan. Gan, this is Jenesis, my band mate.

Gan: Hi Jenesis! Nice to meet you. Let me clean my hands.

He proceeded to wash and dry his hands, then he held out his hand.

•It's a pleasure to meet you. Big fan of your work. I can't wait to see what you guys produce as a group.

Jenesis: Thank you for the kind words. It's so nice to meet you.

She smiled so bright the whole room lit up. Damnit. I knew nothing about her. I'm not that big on entertainment, even though I do enjoy jazz every now and again. I knew my sister was in a group, but they hadn't come out with a project. She kept that part of her life a secret unless she was ready to produce a final product. Shit. Dae looked at me and narrowed her eyes.

Dae: And this is my beloved big brother, TK.

That's it? She didn't really introduce shit. I looked at her with an amusing smirk.

TK: Is that all I get? You didn't even introduce me to her like you did Gan.

I laughed. Now to piss her off.

•I'll just introduce myself. Jenesis, I'm TK, it's my pleasure.

She held her hand out, I took it and kissed it. I could hear Gan snicker behind my back, and I felt Dae shoot daggers at me.

Jenesis: The pleasure is all mine. I know who you are.

I raised an eyebrow.

TK: Oh really?

Jenesis: Yeah I knew both of you existed before I met your sister. I'm a huge fan of bad ass women. Your mom has always been at the top of that list. I know you run the company and became the youngest CEO ever at the tender age of 19.

TK: Anything else you know?

I was flirting with her before I realized it.

Dae: She doesn't, but I know we have to go. Jen, through the hall and to the left is my room. I'll grab some snacks and I'll be there in a second.

Jenesis: Guys, it was nice to meet you. I'll be seeing you around.

She smiled, waved, and disappeared down the hall. I turned to Dae.

TK: So, is she single?

Dae: Do what?! Hell fucking no!

She hissed at me under her breath.

•You aren't going to date her!! She's my friend!

TK: Wouldn't be the first time.

Dae: TK, keep your dick to yourself. And if you can't do that, at least keep it away from my friend. She's a real friend and I don't want MY relationship to suffer because you're looking for another notch in your bed post!!!

Gan: Damn Dae, cut the guy a break. Can't blame him for wanting to get to know a beautiful girl.

TK: Thanks man. At least someone has my back.

She stood as tall as she could and looked me in the eyes.

Dae: I will always have your back, don't question that. I didn't have the luxury of my best friends being handed to me on a platter from birth. I really like her, she is my friend. Don't take this from me.

TK: Is that how you felt when I dated your other friends?

Dae: Those bitches weren't my friends. They only got close to me to get to you, that shit was obvious. But, Jenesis isn't like that. She is a genuine person, and she genuinely cares about me. She's one of the few real friends I have.

She softened her look and sighed.

•Look, you're my brother and I love you. But stay the fuck away from my friend.

TK: Okay.

She looked at me surprised.

Dae: You're really gonna back off?

TK: I would never jeopardize our relationship for anything or anyone. Now, quit cursing me. Go entertain your friend.

I reached out and hugged her. Next to my mom, she was the most important woman in my life. I loved my sister and I would never do anything to purposely hurt her. She squeezed me back and pulled back to reveal a huge smile.

Dae: See you guys later. Love you both.

Gan: Love you too kid.

TK: Always remember that I love you more. Otherwise, I'd be in there really getting to know your friend.

Dae: Asshole.

She grabbed some chips and water. I laughed as she huffed down the hall.

Gan: Why do you do her like that?

He asked laughing.

•One day she's gonna kick your ass.

TK: And until then, I'll keep doing it.

Gan: You are an asshole. But are you also a liar? Are you really going to back down? I've never known you to back down from something you want.

TK: Who said I wanted her?

Gan: You're kidding? Right?

He laughed out loud.

•Your sister noticed it as well, why do you think she attacked you like that? You can fool yourself, but you can't fool us. Now answer my question: Are you really backing down from something you want?

Fucker.

TK: The only thing I WANT is for you to fuck off. But to answer your question, I will not stand in the way of my sister's friendship.

He looked in my eyes, searching for truth in my statement.

Gan: Well, you're a shit liar, but I'll believe whatever makes you feel better.

I flipped him off. But he was right. I did want her, but it didn't matter what I wanted. My sister had never banned me from her friends before. It kinda hurt a bit that she would think I'd do her like that. But in her defense, she had every right to feel that way. I've bedded every person she's ever introduced me to. It wasn't my intention, but I never said no to a good time. But she's never reacted like that about anything, ever. Damn this fucking sucks though. The one person I would actually be interested in getting to know is off limits.

‐--------------

The look on my longtime friend's face said it all. I felt bad for the guy. He never lights up in the presence of anyone, and the one time he does he gets shot down by his sister. I clapped him on the shoulder.

Gan: Man, it will be fine. Don't you still have your date tonight? That will take your mind off of it.

He was finishing up a text, then spoke.

TK: Not anymore.

Gan: She canceled?

TK: No, I did. I'm not in the mood for that shit right now. I just want to grab a drink at the club. You coming?

Gan: Yeah, let me clean up my mess real quick.

He disappeared down the hall. A few moments later, he appeared with Dae and Jenesis.

TK: Ready G? The girls are coming too.

Oh he thinks he's slick. That bastard is more cunning than I gave him credit for. I chuckled to myself.

Gan: Let's go. I'll text my brother to meet us there. You driving?

TK: I sure the hell don't trust your driving.

This got a small laugh from Jenesis.

Jenesis: I call shotgun!

Poor Dae looked defeated. I smiled at her.

Gan: And I can harass Dae in the backseat.

TK laughed at this.

TK: Keep the harassment at a minimum please and thank you.

Dae: Same to you, playboy.

----------------

Damn my brother and his bullshit. He didn't have to ask us shit. Of course Jenesis would be all for it. Everybody falls for his bullshit. He best keep his hands off my friend. Not that she wouldn't be good for him, great actually. But he runs from commitment and uses casual sex as a way to do it. I love my brother, but he's not boyfriend material.

Dae: Jen, since you're up front please find some decent music.

TK: What's wrong with my music preference?

Gan: Nothing if you enjoy elevator music.

He and I burst into laughter.

Jenesis: Hey you two, don't pick at him. All music is good music.

She turned to my brother.

•What do you listen to?

He smiled, but kept his eyes on the road.

TK: Mostly jazz. But I will give anything a try.

Jenesis: Ok.

She searches through his satellite radio until she reaches the channel dedicated to the 80s.

•.Everybody loves the 80s.

That's my girl. She can read the room like no other. We all know these songs. We grew up with our parents constantly playing music. And Jenesis came from a musical family. Everybody Wants To Rule The World started up. She turned the radio up and started singing along. This caused my brother and Gan to go silent. Gan spoke first.

Gan: You're one of those rare people who actually sounds better live than you do in studio.

He was genuinely shocked at her voice. TK turned his attention from the road (which is shocking) to look at her.

TK: You really do have a beautiful voice. Wow.

This caused her to stop singing for a second to blush slightly and thank them.

Jenesis: Thanks you guys. It's nothing big, just years of practice. I appreciate the compliments though.

She went back to singing, then I joined in. Followed by Gan, and finally TK. We all sang in close enough harmony until the song ended. Gan whistled.

Gan: I'm excited to hear your group project. Dae, your vocals have improved 10 times since I last heard you. Good job!

I beamed next to him. My art is my life. Makes me so happy to know those I care about respect and enjoy it.

TK: Yeah sis! You sound amazing. Proud of you kid.

He caught my eye in the mirror and gave me a smile. I loved the shit out of my brother, even though he could be a dick.

Dae: I can't take all the credit. Jen put time in with each of us in the group. She's the genius.

She turned and smiled at me. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it fondly.

Jenesis: No, I only showed you how to find what was already there. You did that on your own.

Once again, my brother took his attention from the road to her. I glared at his ass, he acted like he didn't see it. He didn't say anything, just smiled and his eyes went back to the road. Ugh, are we there yet????

-------------

Jenesis: Where is this club? In the next state?

I laughed at my own joke.

TK: We will be there soon enough. Enjoy the ride.

So I did. We all sat in comfortable silence randomly humming along to the music. I glanced over at TK. I don't understand why he's single. He's extremely good looking, stylish, well mannered, excellent job, no kids. The list goes on. And he smelled amazing. I love a good smelling man.

Jenesis: Acqua di Gio. I like it.

He smiled but he never took his eyes off the road.

TK: Thanks.

Jenesis: So, this club. How much longer until we get there?

He never took his eyes off the road, but he still responded.

TK: Soon. It's just a few more blocks away.

Good. This ride was starting to get uncomfortable. It's like I could feel Randi staring holes in the back of both our heads. I decided to send her a text.

To Randi: Hey. You okay?

A notification alerted me to her receiving it. A few seconds later I got a response.

From Randi: No. Gan is annoying the shit out of me and my brother doesn't fucking listen. 😤

A second message came through.

From Randi: But I will be ok. Thanks ❤️

I contemplated giving a response. I decided against it. I just replied with a simple: 🥰

TK: We're here.

Dae: Thank God.

He pulled into one of the last parking spaces, turned the car off, then got out. Just as I was about to open my door, he was there to open it for me. I smiled.

Jenesis: Thank you. I'm not used to this.

I said as I stepped out of the car. He closed the door behind me and proceeded to open the door for his sister as well.

TK: Well that's a shame. It's the least a man can do.

Dae stepped out and he closed the door behind her. By now, Gan had come around to where we were.

Gan: My brother is already inside. He got us a table.

With TK holding the door, we all went inside.

-----------

I smiled as I noticed my brother and waved him over. He was immediately followed by Dae, TK, and a beautiful lady who I recognized but can't seem to remember where from. I stood as they approached. I hugged my little brother, and shook TK's hand. As always, Dae got a cheek kiss and hug. I wasn't sure how to greet the new lady, so I held out my hand. She accepted it and gave the biggest, brightest smile I've ever seen.

Dae: Ghang, this is Jenesis, my band mate.

Recognition hit me. She was an entertainer. I'd seen her on a few magazines, but I used to be a huge fan of her TV show.

Ghang: It's nice to meet you! I hope this isn't too forward, but I was a huge fan of All of Us.

I thought I felt TK tense up a bit beside me when I said that, but it must have been my imagination. He looked fine when I glanced over at him.

Jenesis: The feeling is mutual, and thank you. That show was my life for years, I'm proud of the work that went into it.

She smiled and took a seat. TK took the seat next to her, Dae next to him.

Gan: Make room.

Was all he said before he bullied his way into my space. I love my brother, but he can be unintentionally rude at times. The waitress came by to take our order, and everyone started idly chatting. I'm more observant, so I stayed quiet. Just because I was quiet doesn't mean I was clueless. I could sense tension between the Parks, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That is, until I saw how attentive TK was to Jenesis. I chuckled to myself. He did tense up beside me. He must have thought I was going to make a move. Maybe I should have. Knowing what I know now, or at least what I think I know, I never will. TK is more important to me than a pretty face. I'd never betray him. Dae, on the other hand, looked like she could murder her brother at any minute.

Ghang: Dae, dance with me?

She clearly wasn't keen on the idea, but reluctantly followed me. The entire time she kept her eyes on her brother. By now I had pulled her to the dance floor.

Dae: You never ask me to dance. What's up?

Ghang: That's what I was about to ask you.

She pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

•Don't try pretending either. It's all over your face.

She let out a loud sigh.

Dae: TK is trying to fuck my friend.

Whoa! Didn't expect that and I most certainly didn't expect venom in those words. This is unusual. She normally makes no fuss about who her brother beds, so this must be different.

Ghang: Forget dancing, let's talk.

We found a table out of sight and she started.

Dae: Jenesis is my friend. Like a real friend. TK can't mess this up for me.

Poor girl sounded and looked defeated. I squeezed her hand.

Ghang: Have you talked to your brother?

She laughed but it was riddled with sadness.

Dae: More like demanded, but yeah. I told him to stay away from her.

I laughed, she punched me in the arm.

Ghang: I'm sorry, okay? But when in the history of knowing your brother has demanding, forbidding, or even telling him no, stopped him? You should know better than anyone that will only make him want it more.

She looked at the ground and spoke softly.

Dae: Yeah, but this is different. Those other girls weren't my friends. I didn't care if he used them.

Ghang: Who's to say he will do the same to her?

She looked at me.

Dae: Who's to say he won't?

I could see this was really causing her concern. I sighed.

Ghang: Ok, I'll do it.

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree.

Dae: You will? Thanks!!! You know you're the only one he will listen to.

She laughed. This time it was genuine.

Ghang: Don't worry about your friend. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders. I don't expect her to fall for just anything.

------------

Jenesis: This place is really nice. I can't believe I never knew about it. I normally know how to find all the hot spots in any town.

TK: That's because this place isn't for just anybody.

She seemed intrigued.

Jenesis: Oh really?

TK: Yeah, this belongs to one of my clients. It's on a who you know basis.

She smiled.

Jenesis: Good thing I'm in the know. I love this place.

She was looking around taking it all in. I sent my client a message letting him know she is to be on the permanent guest list.

TK: You're welcome here anytime. You're permanently in the know.

She smiled as she took a sip of her drink. She was beautiful, but the way the soft lights hit her features she looked like a dream. If it's a dream, I'm not ready to wake up.

Ghang: TK, can I talk to you for a minute?

Seriously? Right now, it can't wait? I asked this with my eyes. All he could do was shrug. Fuck.

TK: I'll be back, enjoy. Gan, order some food. Anything you want.

I got up, frowned at Ghang as I walked to him.

•What do you want?

I kind of hissed, but I didn't mean to. I quickly corrected myself.

•Sorry. What's up?

Ghang smiled uncomfortably. This is about to be some bullshit.

Ghang: Well, your sister...

I knew it.

TK: Stop right there. If this is going where I think it's going, please don't. Not here, not now.

I sipped my drink and waited for his response.

Ghang: She's just worried. She's trying to protect her friendship.

TK: But why? She knows I would never do anything to purposely hurt her.

Ghang: What about unintentional hurt? She is so distressed about this situation but she has a good poker face.

Not good enough, I wanted to tell him. I know it bothers her, but she has to see my side.

TK: Ok. What about me? What about me actually wanting to get to know her?

He raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Ghang: So, you like her?

TK: Jury's still out. I just met her. But...

I trailed off and turned to glance at her.

•I wouldn't mind finding out.

I looked down at my glass, I didn't want or need him looking at my face. He didn't need to try and read me. We sat in silence for a few moments, then he spoke up.

Ghang: I see. Well, I'll leave you to it then.

I looked up, shocked. He wasn't going to try talking me out of it?

TK: So what do you plan on telling Dae?

Ghang: The truth.

------------

Jenesis: Randi! I'm having a great time. I'm glad your brother invited me with you guys.

I'm sure you are, I thought. She smiled and took a long sip of her drink. I smiled back at her. I loved my friend.

Dae: I'm glad you're enjoying yourself.

TK: I'm back. G, what did you order?

He took the seat on the other side of Jenesis. I just glared at him. I know he saw, because I caught him smirking. My brother is an asshole.

Dae: Where is Ghang?

He pointed in the direction of the bar. I excused myself from the table to find him. When I got to him, he was surrounded by two pretty women. No time for that, he has questions to answer.

•What the fuck, Ghang?

I motioned the women out of my way and they scattered.

Ghang: Thank goodness. They were starting to be a little too much for me.

Dae: Not the answer to my question. He came back over there with a renewed sense of being.

Ghang gently grabbed my shoulder.

Ghang: Look, what I'm about to tell you is not what you want to hear, but it's what it is.

I braced myself for the bullshit.

•He's actually interested in her.

Dae: He's lying.

Ghang shook his head.

Ghang: He didn't say it, but never forget I can read him like a book. He said he wants to get to know her. He never says that about anyone. You know this.

I glanced at the table and my eyes softened a bit. They were talking and eating. Gan was in the conversation too. Maybe I'm being selfish.

•Look at him. That smile is genuine. He would never do anything to hurt you or your friendship, but what about him?

Dae: What about him?

Ghang: That's it. That's the last question he asked me before I gave him my blessing.

That pulled at my heart strings. I had to choke back the few tears that stung my eyes. He is the one my brother listens to, and he's also the voice of reason in the group.

•I couldn't tell him not to. Not when we all know that boy needs to settle down and find some stability. This may not even be the case, but he hasn't mentioned sex once.

I looked at him shocked.

Dae: Seriously?

He shook his head. This is unusual behavior for TK. He usually doesn't waste time talking, let alone trying to learn more about the woman. I let out a deep sigh.

•Ok. I'll back off. I won't discourage, but don't expect me to encourage either. This will progress on their own terms, if it progresses at all.

Ghang: That's all I ask.

He hugged me tight. I released all of my energy into that hug.

Dae: Ok, let's go eat!

---------------

TK: Do you like it? I can order something else if you want.

He's very considerate. I shook my head and gave him a smile as I reached over and grabbed more of the crab cakes.

Jenesis: Absolutely not. This is delicious. And to be honest, there isn't really a food I've met that I haven't liked.

I gave him a smile/wink combo. Oh man, I'm really over here giddy and shit. Fuck it. I'm enjoying his company. And it seemed like the feeling was mutual.

TK: Good to know.

He gave me his own wink/smile combo. This was one beautiful man. I looked up and spotted my girl heading to the table.

Jenesis: Randi!!

TK: Randi?

He looked between me and his sister. We looked at each other and laughed.

Dae: Yeah, once this clown over here learned my name she flipped it. I use it professionally.

Jenesis: I thought it was clever. Hell, I still do.

We both laughed again.

Dae: Scoot Gan, my turn to sit next to my friend.

Gan feined shock. Pearl clutching and everything. This guy is hilarious.

Gan: I'll just go over here and cry in silence.

He moved next to his brother. I couldn't help it, I laughed. This made him laugh.

•Hey Jen, pass the wings.

I grabbed one more before I passed the platter. This food was amazing. I've never been one to back down from food, and I've never cared who's watching me eat. I'm going to eat. In the midst of eating said wing, TK looks over at me amused.

Jenesis: What??

He leaned in, kind of close I might add, then wiped something off my cheek with a napkin. He was grinning. Dae laughed.

Dae: You need a bib.

Jenesis: Oh shit! Thanks.

I smiled at TK gratefully. He said nothing, just smiled. Then he went back to eating.

•This food is really good, you guys. There will be more saucy face where that came from.

I said laughing. This got a chuckle out of everyone. Everyone but TK. He kept his focus on what he was doing, but spoke directly to me.

TK: Even with sauce, you're still beautiful.

I felt my cheeks heat up from the unexpected compliment. Nearly choked on my food too. I took a sip of my water and tried to keep it together. I cleared my throat and smiled at him. Even though he wasn't looking directly at me, I know he saw because he smiled too.

----------

I whispered to my brother.

Gan: He has a crush!

Ghang: I think it might be mutual.

I watched both of them. He was correct. A blind man could see the chemistry between them. Looking towards Dae it seemed like she was content with the situation. Without being obvious, I sent her a text.

To Dae: You good?

She checked her phone and made eye contact with me. She smiled. That was all the confirmation I needed. The next message was to my best friend.

To TK: Go for it. She likes you too.

He received my message and I received a response.

From TK: Go to hell 😂

He smiled to himself as he shoved his phone back in his pocket. At the very least maybe she can pull him out of this shell he built around himself. This is going to be interesting to say the least.

----------

From Dae: I'm so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me.

To Dae: There is nothing to forgive. I'll never hold the fact that you care about your friend against you. Always remember, I love you more. Otherwise I'd be really getting to know your friend 🤣

From Dae: You fucking asshole 😘❤️🥰

To Dae: Can I get her number?

From Dae: 222-456-1728 use it wisely.

To Jenesis: Hi. Save my number, TK

From Jenesis: 🙂

[bbqhooligan]

for anyone interested in shitty love story intros or mine own life:

so from an early age ive accepted Friendly Flirting Between Girls as a very effective technique(pretty funny, sympathetic), a nice way of complimenting and affirming people(girls deserve the world), and most importantly, always harmless AND meaningless cuz it was small townTM and it would never bore any result of any kind (even with girls im pretty sure are into girls now lmao, we were kids and none of us had came out or maybe even known) so now i find ive grown into the most Thoughtlessly Flirty Dyke Ever why did i think socializing this way would be normal with a girl who i know is into girls so now im stressed tf out all the time cuz ive signalled myself into this Extremely Fast Pace Flirt Stage which i only realized i was in when i just playfully grabbed her hand to steer us in a direction(WHO DOES THAT. WHY) and it turned romantic hand holding while we walked(NORMALLY PEOPLE JUST LET GO AND SO DO I??????WHAT HAPPENED) and now its all. going too fast and she sent an "I miss you" one week into knowing each other and im the slowest trusting person alive. told one of my best friends about it and she said "im not even surprised that happened, it was gonna happen eventually with how fuckboyish you are with girls" thanks for coming to my ted talk. i do realize it sounds like a bad lesbian character from a sitcom. im so sorry women

#mypost #lesbian #IM NOT A DISASTER LESBIAN AS IN --uwu i cant talk to girls-- IM A DISASTER THAT DOESNT THINK BEFORE SAYING YOURE SO PRETTY OR HAND HOLDIN #whoooooo does that im so mad #why #and im so stressed even tho i liked the girl now its all tainted by how stressed i am. girl we're gonna be married by next full moon #im such a piece of shit honestly #this is so stressful. but itll be fine #i have to believe it #god im worried

[nipperlovesfenix]

I really enjoy being a mother.

I've been thinking about my mom a lot. I want to ask her why she acted the way she did when I told her about dad. That is, she didn't react at all. We might as well have been talking about the fucking weather.

If I asked her why she responded the way she did, it would require her to do some introspection. To date, she's shown very little introspectiveness. She cares more about defending herself than answering my questions.

Could she provide an answer that would change anything? I feel like she'd say "I don't know" or "What was I supposed to say?" and... honestly that would just break my heart. It's probably more likely that she'd say she doesn't know why she did what she did, blah blah blah. Maybe she'd say she didn't know what to say. She might apologize for reacting the wrong way but that would be meaningless. I don't think she'd show the concern or outrage that I feel like a parent should upon hearing that news.

Why can't she be even a little bit normal as a mother?

I've been thinking about the time I was in the psych ward. She acted so fucking crazy. I remember having a horribly traumatic family meeting, and I'm sure it was traumatizing for everyone, and she drove us home screaming and weaving dangerously on the road. Screaming at us. At dad. About me. About her. I don't remember what she said I only remember how it felt. It was so scary.

Or the time she thought she saw cuts on my body. There was no compassion. Just anger. She even said she hated me. Why? Why act like that towards me if you suspect I'm in so much pain that I'd hurt myself?

I'm starting to kind of realize just how much pain I was in during that time. She never asked me why, not in a caring way. No one asked in a way that was safe or real.

I miss my aunt. I wish I could talk to her.

I'm realizing that I don't have anyone to talk to about this trauma that actually witnessed it with me. I can't talk to Adam about it. I can't talk to Abby. I can't talk to my aunt or my uncle.

Why...why? Why were my parents like that? Why was mom like that? I don't remember the details but I remember her coming to the hospital and she made me feel so bad. I think we got in a fight. I think she was angry at me. How can you do that to your institutionalized kid?

I want a reading about it but maybe I need to do medicine about it. I don't think I'm ready for the later.

My mom was incredibly cruel to me. There's so much I don't even remember. She wasn't cruel to the other kids like that. Just me. She says she doesn't remember. She says I was the hardest to raise. That I was the oldest and she thought I should know better.

She was...what? 22 when she had me? Some of it I can explain away as her being a young, unsupported mom. But she got older and got worse.

I remember being...early to mid twenties? 24? 25 maybe? I passed her in the kitchen, seeing her for the first time that day, and she didn't acknowledge me at all.

When did she become "nice"? After her first episode probably. And as they continued.

What I want from her is something she can't give me. I am so sad. I don't understand why or how she could treat me the way she did. I want her to take real accountability. I want her to be a fucking mom.

[amicidomenicani]

Question Hello Father Angelo, My name is D. and I am 27.  I have been dating my boyfriend for over seven years now. We will get married in four months: although I am happy about it, there is something about this marriage that just does not feel right. All these years my boyfriend and I shared the same opinions regarding religion and faith. We were both atheists and we were fine with it, until about three months ago I had an unexpected and astounding experience that led me to conversion. He seems to accept my conversion, although he does not want to come to the Mass with me, because he finds it boring. After all, he does not forbid me to do what makes me happy. But the conversion has changed me a lot, and some of his behaviors that I was not noticing before, now annoy me deeply. I am aware that we are all slaves to materialistic things, but I now feel I despite them so much! I especially despite excesses of any kind, frivolities, selfishness, eager for money...I hate everything that leads to evil! I transformed into a humble and simple girl, getting rid of all the vanities and frivolities, I now feel so happy! I work as an esthetician, but if I could find another job I would gladly quit the current one, because I find it too superficial and meaningless.  Before encountering Jesus, I used to search for true happiness, but never found it. Even though nothing was missing in my life, I had a nice job, an upcoming marriage, yet I could not stop feeling empty. Only the Eternal Father healed my inner void! Suddenly, I am strongly attracted to Jesus, I would say I am in love with Him! A month ago, when I realized that maybe God is calling me to consecrated life, I fell into despair, because I also desire to get married and have a family…if my destiny is to become a nun, why did God's call not occur earlier? Why now, when my wedding has already been organized? I do not trust my priest, therefore I tried to make the discernment alone, by praying as much as I could. After a few days of intensive prayer I was so convinced that the Lord has led me on this path, that I have to go along with it, anything else would be my will, not His. I want to get married, but I am afraid that in future I will regret not having answered his call. On the other hand, leaving everything in order to follow Christ also scares me. In short, I know that the Lord wants something from me, but I have not yet understood what. I would very much like to know your opinion. Thank you in advance. Answer from the priest Dear D., 1. I am happy that the Lord has revolutionized your life by granting you the grace to start a married life according to his plan of sanctification. When you discovered the Lord, you immediately felt that He is like that precious pearl for which it is worth to leave everything else you possessed before. 2. However, a Christian life and a consecrated one are two different things. Deciding for a consecrated life is a matter that requires a serious, intense discernment, which cannot be processed in just a few months. 3. The fact that you are one step away from your wedding, after seven years of engagement, makes me think that the Lord's will is that you get married. 4. My advice is that you live your relationship more intensely with the Lord, who is, and must remain, the Bridegroom of your soul. The bridegroom whom you will shortly take to the altar will be a true bridegroom, but at the same time he will be the image and permanent reminder of Jesus, who is the Spouse of whom all the others are a sign. 5. At the same time, insistently ask the Lord for the grace of the conversion of your future husband, so that the two of you may live a journey of sanctification. In this way, everything in your life together will lead you to know, love, and possess Jesus with growing intensity. Jesus is "the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end" (Rev. 22:13) also of our sentime

ntal life. 6. A sudden conversion was the greatest grace you have ever received. You discovered the center and the goal of your life, the only one that illuminates it in all of its depths and in all of its immense value. He gives life its consistency, for earthly and eternal existence. 7. Everything else, if it does not lead to Him, is "all was vanity and a chase after wind" (Eccl. 2,11) as Sacred Scripture says. This is the reason why you feel a certain discomfort in your current profession, which is not to be despised if it serves to recall another aesthetic, the one that makes our actions and our life beautiful, and preserves them for eternal life. I will soon descend into the church and celebrate the Mass. I will thank God for what he has given you, and at the same time I will ask for all the very best for you and for your future husband. I bless you. Father Angelo

[ultravariety]

verbalizing my pain doesn't do anything. i don't really benefit. i feel more unheard than when i started, or i just feel like a chit for "i can talk about my problems now!". and i don't want to be self centred trying to continue talking about me.

i can't expect someone to comfort me, or to do anything for me. and reaching out feels like a lost cause. when people say you should talk about your problems, is it supposed to make you feel better? are you supposed to feel better when you confide in others? why do i only feel this way with my therapist? most times, it's just like a weight is lifted when i talk to her. but when i talk to most people, it feels like the weight gets heavier. is that normal?

does it even matter? human connection, founded on vulnerability, requires some level of give and take. but what if you are giving something no one wants to take? is it your fault or theirs? do you continue to persist, hoping some day someone will? or do you stop trying to give, hoping no one ever reminds that you ever did?

if i tell people how i feel, why should they care? why do i feel entitled to someone's kindness, they are a stranger after all? is it performative to ask someone to care? when should i call it begging or desperation?

you know, it's not the idea that "no one cares" or "no one ever will". it's the idea that after forming these bonds, these relationships, i come to learn that these people ive let into my life, don't really care. it's like a windy day, not a tornado, it will pass. i've talked about this feeling for so long, i'm totally a broken record. why would anyone continue to try? why do i want them to? that persistence and dedication, i wish to see it, i'm cruel to ask for that. to expect someone to do that for me — it's sad.

it's not to say i'm undeserving to be cared for. but it's my fault for the position i'm in. i enable people to treat me poorly, i don't stand up for myself, and i don't set boundaries. i hope that people will just be nice, and i can figure out, but i'm expecting a lot more than what's realistic. i can't expect people to help me figure this out, to set clearer boundaries. and i don't know how to be firm with people. i've let them walk all over me, because i thought it was ok. i let people i love walk all over me because i don't know what else i'm supposed to do. but even if the ones who i assumed would be kind to me aren't, why should i ever expect any random person to be?

i've always hated the idea of being a people pleaser, but i am one. i just don't want to be hated or yelled at. i still get pretty hated on and yelled at though lol. i should live in spite of those feelings. i guess.. i don't recall moments in my life where it felt safe to be me. not at home, not with friends. for so long i was told, or reminded and pointed out why i wasn't really good or wanted. physical traits and personality traits. it happened so frequently, i thought it was normal that i wasn't well received or that i was criticized constantly

in hindsight they were being mean, and i didn't deserve to be told those things all the time. i hate that i have to get over all of this. and i'm not even a victim. i was a shithead and so mean to people who tried to be nice. because i never understood. it's not an excuse, i really didn't realize. and i feel awful. i don't appreciate people who are there enough, and i expect way too much from people who never want to deliver. i get mad when the people i didn't appreciate at the time, move on and realize they deserve to be appreciated. because even if i know i can do it now, but it's meaningless, i missed the chance

i'm here, because of me. i don't know how to move forward. i want better and i want more, but i feel awful asking for it. i want to connect and talk to people, but god so many people are no fun to talk to. i wish i could chat with strangers and find out about their lives, yet i suck at conversations.

it sucks that it feels like all along, they were right. i do need to change myself to be acceptable around others. the way that i am, this "work in progress" isn't ok. i need to change and be different, so that i can form these connections. i don't really know who i am, but i always thought i was pretty "myself" when i was alone. so who am i really changing to become? what if i end up changing into a new version that is just another facade? how do i know what's authentic? i thought i was myself

#long rambling #read if you want

[phantomrose96]

Buds After the Frost

This was supposed to be a short warm-up writing exercise yesterday and then it got... longer. Enjoy!!

...

The doors opened for Maddie Fenton with a pneumatic hiss. Pressurized nitrogen released, splitting open the vacuum seal on the door as its twin halves slid apart, slotting into the wall-mounted sleeves. The nitrogen misted out, cold and dry, air currents catching in swirls around Maddie Fenton’s lab coat. Her feet thocked against hollow metal, amplified by the coldness and the vastness of the containment room beyond.

She paused short of the specimen’s cell, mindful attention drawn to the panel of controls nested rightmost against the wall. The monitor read out stats, tracked metrics of the specimen’s heartrate and blood oxygenation and blood pressure. Dials beneath the screens offered her means of interaction, manipulating the cage’s environment without needing to tamper with it by hand. She ignored these, as she had been ignoring them the entire time, and paid mind only to the single switch which would seal shut the doors behind her.

She pressed it. Another pneumatic hiss followed, locking out the world behind her. Her breath curled, cold. She and the specimen were alone.

“No coffee this morning?” he asked.

Maddie sat down at the control panel, elbow leaning against the dashboard for support. She turned to the cage. “No. One of the interns broke the pot last night. New one should be delivered today.”

Phantom let out a huff of air. “You mean in this whole gigantic mega-hyper-futuristic government lab, there’s nothing that can stand in as a coffee pot?”

“I wouldn’t stay employed long if I tried using equipment to brew coffee.”

“Use one of the big ectoplasm beakers. Ectoplasm washes out with soap and water. Just suds it up and throw it in the coffee maker. I’m an expert about these things.”

“It’s more about protocol.”

Phantom waved her off. “’Protocol.’ Bureaucracy is standing between you and a delicious cup of ectoplasmic coffee, Dr. Fenton.”

Maddie looked forward now, taking him in. He’d hovered to the front of the cell, translucent reinforced glass separating him from the rest of the lab. Green eyes shined above a cheeky smile, a dusting of loose white hairs falling over his eyes, the rest of his bangs swept slightly to the side. His tailed flickered, his aura pulsed, his vital readings blipped out steady, normal, healthy.

“Phantom?”

“Yeah?”

Maddie paused.

“Why are you still here?”

The ghost boy let out a small guffaw. He motioned his arms around him, hands waving. “I dunno. Maybe the big ghost-proof box I’m in has something to do with it?”

“The shield is down, Phantom,” Maddie answered quietly. She set her eyes to Phantom, investigating. “…I put it down last night. It’s down now. You knew this.”

Phantom took just a moment too long to react, eyebrows arching up. “Oh, huh! Nope I didn’t notice. I mean it’s not like I’m constantly throwing myself at the barrier to electrocute myself so no I just didn’t try getting past it last night so I didn’t notice.”

“Phantom,” Maddie said again, voice measured, words stern. “You saw me crank down the dial that controls the shield.”

“Well I don’t know what all those buttons and dials do.”

“Yes you do. You’ve been observing me since day 1. You knew.”

Phantom kicked back in the air, floating a fraction back and higher. “Well maybe I thought it was a trap, I dunno. Or maybe I just like to get in your head, you know? What unpredictable thing will Phantom do next! Gotta write another 200 equations about ghost theory to figure that one out, Dr. Fenton.”

“Phantom.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you not want to leave?”

“Oh I wanna leave.”

“Then why aren’t you?”

“We’re having a conversation. That’d be rude.”

“Will you leave as soon as I exit the room?”

“Who knows?”

“Phantom.”

“Yeah?”

Maddie stood. She left her chair and the control panel behind. She walked up to the specimen cage instead. It was cubic, a skeleton of metal bar ribbings with a metal mesh that plastered the glass sides like a membrane. The top anchored to the ceiling, the bottom—raised by about a foot—anchored to a pedestal on the floor. Maddie stared through the mesh into Phantom’s eyes.

“Is there anyone who realizes you’re missing?” she asked.

Phantom chewed on the question. “Nah. Well um, trick question, actually. Probably not. Assuming I do this right, then no one has even realized I’m gone.”

“Do what ‘right’?”

“You know that thing about Clockwork I explained?”

“You said he’s the ghost that controls time and reality.”

“Yeah. SUPER powerful.”

“And you said you …were from one of those other realities.”

Phantom nodded. “Maybe I touched some things in Clockwork’s lair I wasn’t actually allowed to touch. Jury’s still out on whether I’m in trouble for that or not. I’ve been a little too ‘stuck in this reality’ to know if Clockwork is pissed. But yeah, I got um, bopped into your reality instead of mine. So technically my reality is lacking me right now, and yeah there’s people there who’d know I’m missing.”

Phantom flipped upside-down, as though laying on his back. He rested his palms beneath his head, elbows out, suspended in an invisible hammock, head tilted far back so that he still stared at Maddie. “Especially since it’s been, what, a month that I’ve been gone?”

“2 weeks.”

“What? No way. I’ve been here absolutely forever it has to have been at least a month.”

“This is day 14 of your observation, Phantom.”

Phantom blew a strand of hair out of his face. “Anyway. Two weeks is still long enough to have a search party out on my butt. But whether or not that’s happened is up to – it’s kind of a Schrodinger thing. Because here’s my strategy. Assuming Clockwork hasn’t banned me from reality-hopping forever, I can just get him to send me back to my own reality at the precise moment in time I vanished. And then bam, no one ever knows I was gone. And it makes no difference whether I do that today, or next week, or next month. So assuming you eventually let me go, then I’m all set there.”

“You say that almost like you don’t care when it happens.”

“I dunno, more like I’m just not losing sleep over it. It’s not like I have a say in the matter. You do. I don’t.”

“Is the time you spend here just meaningless, to you?”

“I wouldn’t say meaningless. I’m still aging goddammit.”

“You’re a ghost.”

“I’m complex.” Phantom flipped right-side-up again. “If I start growing facial hair, send me back. I’m gonna have some awkward questions to answer if I show up again with a ghost beard suddenly.”

“…And what if I never send you back?” Maddie asked, careful with her words. “How does your plan work if you stay here forever? If I destroy you first?”

“Um. …It doesn’t, I guess.” Phantom set a hand to his chin, thinking. “Yeah um, please don’t do that. I don’t wanna worry my whole family like that.”

“Do you really mean that?”

“What part?”

“That you have a family.”

“I mean. I think that came up in Interrogation Session #3. Consult your notes.”

“I just have a hard time believing you.”

“Because I’m a ghost?”

“Yes.”

“I’m a complex ghost.”

“I know. You keep saying that.”

“It’s true.”

Silence filtered in between them.

“…What is your family like, Phantom?”

Phantom stiffened a fraction, his eyes finding Maddie’s and shifting away. “Oh, you know, family.”

“Do they exist here too?”

“Huh?”

“You’re from another reality, at least you’re claiming you are.”

“I gotta be. The me from this reality died 6 months ago, didn’t he?”

“The you from most realities is dead, Phantom. You’re a ghost.”

“A complex ghost.”

“The you from this reality was destroyed 6 months ago.”

“Which you validated with your own sciencey equipment, right? You said so! So you know I’m not lying. Unless you think I recombobulated myself from being a protoplasmic smear on the sidewalk.” Phantom caught himself, registering the flinch in Maddie’s body. He deflated a bit, eyes averted. “S-sorry. Inconsiderate phrasing.”

“Why?” Maddie asked, tone flat, blunt.

Phantom’s eyes shifted back. “Um. Just. You know. That accident was. There were um, you know—”

“Human causalities.”

Phantom squirmed. “We don’t have to talk about that, you know? No one wants to talk about that. Okay as a ghost I guess ‘talking about how I died’ is sort of a bit more normal, but this is weird yeah, ‘talking about how an alternate-me died permanently’? That’s morbid. No one wants to talk about that.”

“Okay then. You can go back to answering my previous question.”

“Um. I forget.”

“Does your family exist in this reality?”

“Um, well who really knows, you know? I had like a grand total of 20 minutes of freedom in this reality before you captured me, so, don’t ask me like I’m any kind of expert about your reality. What’s it matter?”

“I want to know if there’s anyone in this reality who’s mourning you.”

Phantom’s face schismed with surprise. His front dropped, and the first look of genuine emotion sank into his glowing eyes. “Woah… That’s um, weirdly nice, of you, I guess. Why do you… want to know?”

Maddie said nothing.

“I. Um. I think the answer is no? So don’t um. Worry about that. If you were worried? Which is weird. I’m the enemy, aren’t I? Evil spooky ghost to be studied?”

“I’m not so sure what you are…” Maddie answered. “I heard you got destroyed trying to save them.”

“The um… the human casualties?”

“Yes.”

“I said we don’t have to talk about that.”

“Phantom.”

“What?”

“Do you know who they were?”

“The… casualties?”

“Yes.”

“Come on we’re on a different topic now.”

“Do you know who they were?”

“I don’t—how’m I supposed to know? I don’t know how I died here, you know? You think I’ve got some kind of like… parallel-universe death vision?”

“So you don’t know?”

“N-no.”

“I have a different question, then.”

“Okay, good, because I haven’t been liking these previous ones.”

“Are you staying just to keep me company?”

Phantom faltered. He looked left, then right, hand scratching at his chin. “I’m staying because I’m in a ghost-proof box.”

“It’s not ghost-proof anymore. The shields are down.”

“I feel like you’re circling around some accusation I’m not smart enough to follow. This feels like entrapment.”

“Then I’ll be more direct.”

“Oh no there is an accusation.”

“I think you do know how you were destroyed in this universe, Phantom.” Maddie took a step forward, and she let her left hand touch the glass, eyes focused on her fingers. “I think you know what happened at the Nasty Burger.”

“That’s—um—the human food… consumption… location… that the local human adolescents meet at, yes?”

Maddie looked up, and she locked Phantom with her stare. He squirmed, and he relented.

“I um…” he continued. “I—yeah—yeah, okay? I know about the Nasty Burger accident. It was supposed to happen to me too in my reality but I—Clockwork—stopped it from happening in my reality.” Phantom glanced left, right, as if staring beyond the confines of his cage. “When I first got knocked into this reality, I went to go find the Fenton portal so I could try to refind Clockwork and fix this and… Well it wasn’t there. And I tried to find some people I know and… I checked out the library in case the Fentons just lived somewhere else and. I um. I found the articles.” His eyes focused on hers again. “They all say you were the only survivor, yeah…?”

“I was sick, that day. It was just a cold. My husband Jack went without me.”

“I’m sorry…”

“It took my daughter and my son too.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“And it destroyed you.”

Phantom opened his mouth, but no words followed.

Maddie looked up.

“You knew this. You’ve known this ever since I captured you.” Maddie let her hand slide away from the glass. “Did you let me capture you?”

“Why would I let you capture me?”

“Because you feel sorry for me.”

Phantom’s eyes flickered about, unwilling to meet hers. “…Nah. Nah. I don’t—come on ‘sorry’? I’m a ghost you know? Bane of humanity! We’re enemies. You were just too skilled a hunter and you captured me.”

“And yet you won’t leave.”

Phantom lapsed silent.

“I um… I wasn’t happy to read about—to know the, the thing at the Nasty Burger happened here, okay? That’s something that I kinda didn’t want to believe existed in any reality anymore, but I guess… And if you were still alive. I was… maybe just kind of happy to see you? That you were okay. And still hunting. That was kind of, like a small relief.” Phantom glanced away, back again. “I wasn’t evil, you know. In my reality or this one. I care about what happened to the Fentons…”

“You let me capture you. …And you did it because you thought it would be a nice thing for you to do for me.”

“I Just—I thought maybe, um… I mean when you phrase it like that. I mean what else could cheer up renowned ghost hunter Maddie Fenton quite like a ghost subject to study? Me, especially? The ghost boy or public enemy #1 or whatever. I’m fun, aren’t I?”

Silently, Maddie pushed away from Phantom’s cage. She moved to the control panel, stiff movements and numb fingers. She entered the release code into the console, and unslung the key from her neck to twist into the override, and she threw down each successive lever in the row of four lining the top of the mechanisms.

The scrape of glass sliding away sounded behind her. All four walls of Phantom’s enclosure dropped away, metal mesh sliding away piece-meal. Phantom stared at her, blinking, floating in place.

“You’re free to go, Phantom.”

“I—uh—well hang on, I don’t think the Guys In White would be too happy about that. You can’t just let me—”

“Go, Phantom.”

“They could like, fire you.”

“I don’t care about this job.”

“I—come on, you still wanna study me, don’t you? Chat with me? If you feel bad maybe just get me a couch and some video games for my cage then I’ll be—”

“Phantom.”

“What?”

“Go home to your family.”

The half-hearted smile dropped from Phantom’s face.

“Come on. You can’t just evict me on such short notice. I’m not ready for Clockwork to kick my ass so soon.”

“Go home.”

“I’m not in any rush! I like talking to you. Don’t you—don’t you like talking to me too? In like a scientific way?”

Maddie lowered herself into the chair by the control panel. She leaned forward, arms pooled in her lap, eyes to the floor. “You have a family to get back to, Phantom.”

“It’s—there’s time travel shenanigans! Like I said they don’t even know I’m gone.”

“Every single day, Phantom,” Maddie looked up, eyes stern, “…I wish every single day that my own family would just come back home. I won’t do the same to you. I won’t do the same to your family.”

Phantom said nothing. A somber acceptance sunk into his eyes.

“They’re… alive, you know. In my dimension.”

Maddie dropped her head, and she blinked away the wetness in her eyes.

“I actually… in my dimension I’m kind of closer to the Fentons than I think the, the Phantom in this dimension was. It’s… complex.”

Maddie said nothing. Silence built between them.

“Jazz is um… Jazz is applying for colleges, y-you know. She got in early-acceptance to Yale but um, we all—they all—visited Columbia last month and I think that’s what she wants the most. I can see Jazz in New York City. I think she’d rock it.”

Maddie blinked again. Tears plicked into her lap.

“…Should I stop?”

“Jack… Tell me about Jack.”

“Oh. Yeah he um… big and goofy as ever. He’s got some kind of eight-armed-octogun he’s working on. I know because I was his target practice, involuntarily by the way. He keeps trying to merge “Fenton” and “octopus” together with mixed results. We—Mo-addie—you… are still trying to talk him out of ‘Fentoctopus’.”

Maddie’s ribcage shuddered, a repressed sob, a repressed laugh.

“And Danny?”

“Danny… um… Danny is...” Phantom’s shoulders fell a little bit. He looked away, and then back at Maddie. “He loves you. I know that.”

Maddie blinked, and blinked again, and her eyes wouldn’t clear.

“And are they happy?”

“They’re happy.”

“Am I happy…?”

“You’re…” Phantom’s tail bounced. “You’re happy, I think. I like to think so. I think you’re very happy. You have a great family.”

Maddie nodded.

“Now go.”

“But I still—”

Maddie reached forward, and she grabbed the ecto-gun propped against the control panel. She lifted it into her shoulder, and flicked the safety, and the charge built along the rising whine.

“Go.”

Phantom balked. He blinked. He kicked away from his wall-less cage. “Not forever. I’ll be back. You won’t be alone here forever.”

He was gone.

And Maddie was alone again.

…

Clockwork surveyed the boy in front of him whose head was bowed nearly to the floor, white bangs trailing along cobblestone, hands clasped, apologies repeated, begging case made.

Clockwork ran a hand along his beard, which unfurled, drew back, undid itself with the shifting of his form to a simple child.

“So let’s see. You have the audacity to break my rules andbeg me to meddle on your behalf in the time stream, all in the same breath? Apologies don’t usually come with additional requests for favors.”

“I know,” Danny’s head dipped lower. “You can punish me however you want for touching the restricted timelines but you have to help it, or let me help this one timeline. Please, please just send me back to the Nasty Burger incident so I can save it.”

“It’s already been saved.”

Danny faltered. He looked up.

“You died at the Nasty Burger incident that night,” Clockwork elaborated, form shifting older. “There is no you to ruin that future. That timeline is safe. It’s a very lucky timeline.”

Danny blinked. “N-no. No that’s not what I mean. Save it like you saved my timeline.”

“That did happen. You’re describing your own timeline.”

“I mean do it to THAT one.”

“You are misunderstanding timelines.”

Danny lapsed silent. Worry bled into his eyes, and Clockwork sighed.

“There is no undoing timelines, Danny. There is only forking them by meddling in the stream. All futures and pasts you witness exist, and do exist, and continue to exist,” Clockwork paused, “with the exception of realities I needed to cull, to prevent utter catastrophe.” His gaze fixed on Danny. “The futures that your evil self destroyed, I did have to cull. And culling a reality is not to be done lightly.”

Clockwork motioned with his staff. “There were a handful of surviving realities that I was able to save. That room you meddled in without my permission—they contain the realities off the main track where, for one reason or another, something else succeeded at destroying your future self. …Your own deaths, in fact. In every one of those realities, Danny, you are dead.”

“I don’t…” Danny shook his head. “So then just tell me how to save that one I was in, okay?”

“Oh, that’s easy.”

“How?”

“You don’t.”

Danny said nothing. Clockwork shifted young.

“You can let it live on in that room, or you could ask me to cull it, Danny. You could ask me to cull every reality in that room, so that the main branch, the one you’re from, is the only reality in existence. So you never have to worry about any existence where your family is unhappy. And it will be that way until you, or I, or someone else, meddles with the timestreams again, and more splits occur.”

Still, Danny said nothing. Clockwork continued.

“Sometimes, a mass culling of realities is healthy for the tree of time, like pruning a plant down to its stalk to survive an unforgiving winter, or a terrible disease. But I did that, just recently, to save all of time from the blight of your future self. It would feel cruel to snip off the first buds that have come after the frost.”

Danny lowered himself to the floor.

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. Just. I have a different question then.” He looked up, a young devastation wet in his eyes. “Can I still go back and visit that reality, sometimes?”

“No. I cannot give you permission to do that.”

“Please!”

Clockwork spun his staff. A portal swirled into being in the space between him and Danny. Washes of color formed patterns, shapes, objects, images. Like a mirror, it reflected Clockwork’s lair beyond its shimmering surface.

“This is a portal back into your own reality. It is set to the location and the time that you vanished. Go there, and leave through the Fenton portal, and nothing will be amiss.”

“No. No no I won’t. Clockwork you have to let me—”

“I am doing you a favor, Danny, getting you home after you caused more trouble. Do not make further demands of me.” Clockwork curled forward, old, sallow skin sagging, and he turned his back to Danny.

“You have to give me permission—”

“I am the only one who has permission to meddle in realities, Danny. This is an absolute.” Clockwork glanced over his shoulder. “And because this is an absolute, I have no reason to have a lock on the room housing those budding other realities.”

Danny blinked.

“I wonder if anyone might break my rules anyway. I wonder if anyone might be nosy, and enter that room anyway, and water the plants in that greenhouse without my permission.” Clockwork stared forward again.

“Clockwork…”

“Luckily I am the master of all time. I would be able to see this coming. And maybe plan for it. If ever such a person would come into my lair, and meddle in my timelines, and try to spread a bit of his own kindness to the realities he couldn’t quite save, I would be fully prepared to stop him.” Clockwork spoke into the green abyss beyond him. “Unless, maybe, I were to accidentally have my back turned.”

Silence trailed after Clockwork’s words. He kept his back to Danny, staring into the abyss of swirling green ether beyond.

“…Thank you,” Danny answered, quietly. “I’ll be back.”

“I imagine you will. Those realities may get lonely without you.”

When Clockwork glanced back over his shoulder, both Danny and the portal were gone.

#Danny Phantom #dp #dp fanfiction #me: -writes any kind of interaction between Maddie and Phantom where Maddie has captured Phantom- #me: 'haha sick Phantom of Truth reference' #ANYWAY i got really attached to a terrible what-if #please enjoy