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narwhalsarefalling · 1 year

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my mother taught me to crochet when i was young. she was left handed, so she taught me how in the bathroom mirror so her hands would be in the right position.

she learned to crochet from her grandmother, who was right handed. her grandma was the one that originally used the bathroom mirror to teach her granddaughter properly.

i find something poetic about that. here in this bathroom mirror, through generations, we adapt to our young who have a different way of learning and interacting with the world

#my mom grew up in the 70s rural missouri #very much in the ‘left handedness is the devil’ era #her first grade teacher handcuffed her left hand to her desk #so i find it very sweet that my great grandmother #took the time and effort to show her grandkid how to create and crochet with her left hand #using the only methods she knew how- the bathroom mirror #the narwhal speaks #crochet

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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weaselmcdiesel · 12 days

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Do You Love The Color Of The 413?

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futuristichedge · 4 months

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The most well adjusted apocalypse survivor

#silver the hedgehog #sth #sth fanart #sonic fanart #my art #doodles #sonic the hedgehog fanart #listen listen i know he is caring and kindhearted. but there is no way you live in an apocalyptic world and dont have some way of coping #he fights for the living. hed see a dead body and go ''sad! well. theres other survivors'' and start looting #not much use in mourning those who likely wont be dead (or exist) in better future!#anyway yeah there is NO way he hasnt looted some long gone persons gear and seen some shit #just a doodle. been thinking up animatics to Time Machine 2 by Daisy the Great and unable to get time to sit down and draw

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chalkrub · 6 months

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more svanhildr - trying new things, like a brave boy

#my art #anthro #furry #illustration #oc #svanhildr #dysterel #i have so many great brushes i never use for no reason so i'm expanding my horizons and using like 10 brushes instead of 3 #and i used the pencil tool for the first time so i could make a sprite of svanhildr #btw don't do pixel art without looking at multiple tutorials first. worst mistake of my life #i think my blobby indeterminate sprite daughter looks great though #also has anyone seen brass eye and if so have you seen when the posh reporter lady is walking to the prison #and she turns to the camera and says something like “i'm going going inside now. like a BAD boy”#anyway it gets me every time and writing brave boy made me remember it

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 days

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Reasons to play In Stars and Time: Canon Pronoun Warfare.

#in stars and time #ISAT #Siffrin #Loop #Context: early on you meet a character who tries to get you to use the royal We pronoun for them and you shut them down. It's great.#The gender swag and non-binary rep in this game is lovely.#I sketched this out when I was in Act 2 - and as of posting this I have not yet finished the game so *please* no spoilers.#It is rare for me to get into something spoiler free and I have been getting my shit rocked by this game in the best way.#Yes I *am* taking another detour to talk about a video game I love again. I will have some fun crossovers. Trust the process.#I will also do my best to pitch this game as spoiler free as possible. Because you *should* play this game:#ISAT is a very lovingly crafted RPG with very fun and emotional writing.#The characters are great and the mysteries you slowly uncover are intriguing!#The way the gameplay ties into the player's own emotional state is nearly always in sync with the protagonist. You *will* feel things.#And it is not afraid to let those things be hard emotions! Do mind the content warnings and know your limits though.#As someone who sucks at video games I also appreciate that it is so generous with your time and keeps things fun.#Not to mention it is honestly underpriced for the amount of content in it. Buy this game. I need to spread the brainworms.

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stargirl230 · 6 months

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Take a break!

This is for anyone who's been working hard (me, because once exam season starts it never ends...)

(no reposts; reblogs appreciated)

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morganbritton132 · 6 months

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Eddie’s live-streaming in his studio when Steve comes into the room like, “Did you hear about Lydia Martinez?”

Eddie: Who?

Steve: Lydia… Dude, she sat behind you in Click’s class

Eddie: ????

Steve: Tuesday/Thursdays?? 1985????

Steve: Big Farrah Fawcett hair. Green eyes. Great… *gestures* boobies. She was sweet! Really cute. Let you copy her homework. You know.

Eddie:

Eddie: Yesterday, you forgot what the password on your phone was but you remember a random person we went to high school with?

Steve, rolling his eyes: You know her though, right?

Eddie: Clearly not!

Steve: Well, she died. Heart attack.

#Steve later that day: You remember Lydia?#Robin: With the great rack? yeah #Steve will remember the most random memories in great detail #but has just completely forgotten his own ssn mid-writing it down #this is actually based on this one time I forgot the code to unlock my computer but could type it in using muscle memory #eddie munson tiktok saga #steve harrington #eddie munson

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froggtogs · 9 months

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he probably doesn’t have to do taxes

#i did not have my eye on the time tonight #i was testing out brushes a lot with this as well #thanks to my old teacher for having a really cool instagram and letting me use her pics as reference #uhhhhhh #i didn’t know what to title this so random bs is what you get #yeah #anyways have a great day :)#froggtogs #art #fanart #legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #totk link #totk #loz botw #loz totk #totk fanart

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 8 months

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*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment #so many innocent bystanders at stake #every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis #racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system #and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description #aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh #(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt.#but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.)#seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this.#the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later?#that is not cute. it is Alarming.#no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain #and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students #this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE #...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power #and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class #which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever #it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses...#anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you.#obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding #are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it #please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent #mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies #& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground #mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man

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cheebuss · 9 months

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Did a Barbenheimer viewing with my friend tonight in cosplay as Barbie and Oppenheimer! Drawings are referenced from photos of us in the theater! :D

#cheez rambles #my art #fanart #shitpost #barbenheimer #barbie #oppenheimer #oppenbarbie #margot robbie #cillian murphy #// post dedicated to the twitter user who mistook cillian murphy for an older butch lesbian bc i think they're cooking #// loved both :D! we both had a great time!#// we had two kens with us as well

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rattusn0rvegicus · 9 months

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Man I feel like a lot of leftist activists would do a lot better to just use common fucking language to talk about things rather than dense academic shit that's only understandable to people with PhDs and people who spend 95% of their waking life on Leftist Twitter lmao

Like, you're talking with other academics? Great, use academic language. You're a social media account trying to interact with the general public? Don't say "decarcerate", say "find alternatives to imprisonment". Don't say "collective liberation", say "freedom for all". By GOD don't say "bodymind autonomy", say "the ability to have control over our own minds and bodies".

Yes it takes a little more effort to explain shit in common language but I promise you people will stop looking at you like you have two heads and dismissing everything you say as Woke Bullshit if you like, actually get on their level, goddamn it. Not everyone has the privilege to have a graduate-school level understanding of this type of language or spend so much time reading leftist theory that they can perfectly understand this stuff.

#being a public health student has made me even more passionate about this too #like. You want to make a change? You have to make sure the general public UNDERSTANDS WTF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT FIRST #Like for example I think Project LETS is a great concept and is doing great stuff #But my god their public outreach needs some MAJOR work #By using this type of language you are isolating the type of ppl who can benefit from your services to 'college educated Twitter leftists'#Social justice is a MAJOR INTEREST OF MINE and even I struggle with making sense of some of the shit y'all say!!#Like I have to translate it in my head to normal speak #And like. These types of spaces constantly talk about accessibility for disabled people? Bullshit man #What about those with intellectual disabilities or cognitive impairments who struggle with this shit?#What about people who are just learning English? What about people who work full time and don't have the time to learn this terminology?#Goddamn #It's all performative!!!!

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fantasykiri5 · 5 months

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Hey, if it ain’t broke don’t fit it ammirite?

(I drew this completely of my own volition thinking I had an ask to draw her… ZombieCleo is so powerful she made me think I had an ask asking to draw her and I did it… how magical.)

These asks ARE still open btw! It may take me a long ass time to get to them, but I’ve started working on the other three I currently have and I think these are really fun so feel free to send more in!

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sneez · 1 month

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conrad veidt would make a great tragedian i think

#pathologic #conrad veidt #artwork #scopophobia #id in alt text #if any of you actually benefit from IDs id be very grateful to know if you prefer them in the alt text or in the post body!#anyway :D HIM #this is caligari-era connie obviously. i was saying this the other day but later connie would be a great saburov i think #i cant decide if i prefer the idea of him playing every tragedian or him being a very obviously incongruous tragedian who has just painted #his face to look like a mask and is hoping nobody will notice #also please ignore that the lighting doesnt make sense on the second one i used reference images lit from two different angles and didnt #notice until i had rendered it out because i always flip my canvas so often and im too lazy to fix it #anyway (part 2) i am still on my conrad veidt autism explosion and i am having a great time. i am having so much fun. i love he #i hope you are all well too my friends! term just finished for me so i am back hoam :D yaaay

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welcometogrouchland · 4 months

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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry

#ramblings of a lunatic #dc comics #Jason Todd #batfamily #it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works #like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over #i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin #and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well #duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd #(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read #went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems #point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam #but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it #jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog #damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH #speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro #wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty

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morii-moth · 6 months

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"this is me on day one of NO rendog !!"

#glad to know hes coping just as well as the rest of us #how in the world does martyn consistently stay the last few green/yellow lifes/ win and yet...#anyways i love the new series if only i could please have more than 2 episodes from martyn thatd be really great thanks #love to see a man get a good beating just kidding pleas #if he dies i will start sobbing trust me #already had me in tears from the first ep #but actually it was wonderful just please if he could make some friends thatd be swell #or not martyn lone wolf arc???#im gonna post this before in hate it because it is 5am and i dont have time to start fixing what was supposed to be a sketch #i really love my yapping in the tags im so sorry #inthelittlewood #itlwart #trafficblr #mcyt #traffic life smp #life series #secret life #secret life smp #life smp #traffic spoilers #my art

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