#trans men too but it's trans women who have been targeted recently so i am emphasizing them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sufficiently-advanced · 2 months

Text

hi! I got a bunch of asks, and I figured I should (after 5 years) finally give an update.

unfortunately, though I enjoyed this for a long time, the hobby of writing faux-academic analyses of wands has long been soured for me bc I am, yknow, trans in the uk. I don't want to help sustain positive and neutral attention on jk rowling and contribute to the money she is using to fund and spearhead uk and us movements against trans people. It is truly wild to have reason to have beef with a famous children's author but here we are. Years later, these movements are still using that harry potter money and social cred to try to make questioning trans people's existence seem like a liberal free-speech common sense position that's unfairly targeted by radical, hysterical trans activists.

(Here is a tracker of the rise in current legislation restricting trans peoples' participation in public life in the us; the current uk prime minister made a jab against trans people this week in parliament, unknowingly in front of the mother of a trans teenager recently murdered in a hate-motivated attack, part of his customary appeal to right-wing culture war rhetoric. This is, as that first link points out, not his first public joke lampooning trans people, and as the stonewall link below mentions hate-motivated crimes against trans people have increased over 150% in the last few years, but only in the aftermath of a girl's murder has labour pushed back against our identities being part of a national debate.)

Interacting with people still into harry potter feels like a real toss-up. It feels depressingly likely, given what I see online and the beliefs of some of my coworkers, relatives and acquaintances, that I'm writing for someone who thinks nonbinary people are fine as long as they aren't too scarily masculine-looking, and trans women are fine as long as they're really nice and never say anything challenging and make themselves as small and cis-acceptable as possible and only react to people's cruelty with self-sacrificing grace, and trans men are fine as long as they are cute and don't look like neckbeards and are suitably disdainful of masculinity but also not too trender-y, and this whole thing about harry potter is kind of overblown but you can't say that because trans people looove to cancel people. I don't want to write stuff for people who hold these beliefs if I can avoid it! Writing non-harry potter related stuff is the best way to avoid it right now.

If some of these statements feel challenging to you - I was there once too, as a confused angry teenager who felt like gay people were trying to make me feel bad about myself. The social media landscape genuinely makes change more painful than it has to be. Personally, working to humanise and listen to people I was unthinkingly taught to disregard, ignore, disdain or pity has been one of the most rewarding projects of my life, even though by definition it will probably never be complete, and also it can be difficult and vulnerable. I hope you can find it rewarding too. If you're mostly like 'wow, I for real didn't hear about any of this', happy for you, there are links below so you know what's up and can identify some messages you might have absorbed without knowing it.

I won't be updating this blog with any more analyses. Thanks for reading, especially if you had to push through discomfort or fear to do so, and for liking my analyses enough to follow! If you have questions, here are some good resources to look at:

the basics of 'what does trans mean, like, practically?';

a great primer on what we actually know about trans people in britain (useful for outside-of-britain questions too);

a video introducing jk rowling's contribution to anti-trans movements and the discussion of whether to separate the art from the artist, and, if you're interested, a dry but short video about some of her direct links to conservative anti-trans and anti-gay groups in the us and uk

if you have more questions after looking at these, the facebook group 'You Might Wanna Learn More About Trans People' is an active group where you can ask them, anonymously if you want to.

#harry potter #jk rowling #wand analysis #it was hard to write this! been putting it off for a while while I live my gay life #I don't want to be the subject of the National Debate. it sucks.#I am a privileged person. many of my friends get hit a lot harder by this stuff & it kills me!#anyway if this is useful for 1 person then mission achieved.

6 notes · View notes

magnetothemagnificent · 1 year

Note

Hi Eitan. I sent you asks before and thanks for always being so awesome with answering questions and sharing great perspective and information.

My question is kind of 3 separate questions I guess…

I will start with saying I’m a convert that has distant sefardic ancestry. There are also other interesting things with my family and ancestry but would prefer not to talk about it publicly… either way I think my point is myself and my family feel a sense of connection with the Jewish people that is difficult to articulate.

So my questions…

1. Recently I had for the first time a dream where I was being targeted by antisemitism, like a dream where someone was trying to harm and attack me because I was visibly Jewish. Is this a common experience for people who are born and raised Jewish? Do you have any advice or word of support?

2. A member of my synagogue frequently does things that make me uncomfortable, but in particular she will often bring up in conversation that I’m a convert. It is different if I chose to share or talk about it but I know tradition is that you are not supposed to remind someone… do you have any thoughts for this? I am trying to not be upset and think there’s no reason to be ashamed or keep a secret but for some reason it does bother me…

3. In terms of head covering… okay so I have a lot of sensory issues, I hope maybe you can understand. Clothes has been the hardest thing for me since I was a child. So. The head coverings for men are challenging. I tried kippah. I prefer the Bukharian kippah but it’s still a little hard for me. I know that scarves are traditionally for women but I wonder if they would be more comfortable. I see when I read about history beautiful old photos of men with headscarves but I feel self-conscious to wear something like that. Do you have any suggestions? Also I am trans male if it is important.

Sorry for saying so much I hope it’s okay… I understand if you can’t answer everything but thank you for your time and help!

Unfortunately dreams about antisemitism and antisemitic attacks are common in the Jewish experience. I've had too many dreams about the Holocaust, the Spanish Inquistion, the Roman exile, and modern antisemitism myself. There is a prayer many say during the Shema prayers before going to sleep that is a prayer for protection against nightmares. Here is the text:

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ אֱלֺהֵֽינוּ מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, הַמַּפִּיל חֶבְלֵי שֵׁנָה עַל עֵינַי, וּתְנוּמָה עַל עַפְעַפַּי, וּמֵאִיר לְאִישׁוֹן בַּת עָיִן. וִיהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶֽיךָ יְיָ אֱלֺהַי וֵאלֺהֵי אֲבוֹתַי, שֶׁתַּשְׁכִּיבֵֽנִי לְשָׁלוֹם, וְתַעֲמִידֵֽנִי לְחַיִים טוֹבִים וּלְשָׁלוֹם, וְאַל יְבַהֲלֽוּנִי רַעְיוֹנַי וַחֲלוֹמוֹת רָעִים וְהִרְהוּרִים רָעִים, וּתְהֵא מִטָּתִי שְׁלֵמָה לְפָנֶֽיךָ, וְהָאֵר עֵינַי פֶּן אִישַׁן הַמָּֽוֶת. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְיָ, הַמֵּאִיר לָעוֹלָם כֻּלּוֹ בִּכְבוֹדוֹ:

"Blessed are You, Adonoy, our God, King of the Universe, Who causes the fetters of sleep to fall upon my eyes, and slumber upon my eyelids. And illuminates the pupil of the eye. May it be Your will, Adonoy, my God and God of my fathers to make me lie down in peace, and to raise me (again) to good life and peace, and grant me my portion in Your Torah, make us accustomed to do Your commands, and let us not become accustomed to sin, Do not bring us into the grasp of sin, Do not cause us to be tested, or brought to disgrace. May I be ruled by the Good Inclination and let me not be ruled over by the Evil Inclination. Protect me from Satan, from an evil mishap and from illnesses. Let my thoughts not terrify me— nor evil dreams or evil fancies (disturb me), and may my bed be perfect before You. And light up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death, Blessed are You, Adonoy, Who illuminates the whole world with His glory."

Maybe saying this Bracha before bed will help you with your nightmares.

2) That member of your synagogue is behaving completely inappropriately. It is forbidden to remind a convert that they converted or to make them feel unwelcome. There's no reason for you to be ashamed of converting, but the details of your conversion are only yours to share and no one should be pressing you about it. I wish I could help you aside from suggesting you talk to the Rabbi of the congregation about this person.

3) If you don't feel comfortable wearing head coverings, you don't have to. If you want to wear a headscarf to fulfil the commandment to cover you head, Jewish men have worn headwraps in history so you have a historical tradition backing you up. The commandment to cover your head isn't about the specific type of headcovering, whatever works for you works. I'm a trans man myself, and autistic, but my sensory issues are like...I need something on my head so I'm the opposite. If a headwrap works for you, then it works for you, although in modern times it is associated more with women, so you might want to keep that in mind in terms of how you're percieved. Things that also work for headcoverings are any hats, honestly, so if those work better for you...also if a Bukharian kippah works a little better, then you might want to get one that's more lightweight and loose if the tightness and/or weight is the issue.

A scrub/surgical cap might also work better, as it's looser and has an adjustable band so you can control how snug it fits on your head.

Any headcovering can fulfil the commandment to cover your head, and a scrub cap might just work for you. There's all kinds of different prints available if you look for them, and they look similar enough to a kippah that no one would bat an eye.

Hope this helps! :)

[id in alt text]

#jumblr #judaism #kippah #resources #conversion #jewish identity

24 notes · View notes

counterspellthisyoucasual · 2 years

Note

TW have male pattern criminality and the ones misplaced in women's prison are literally rapists.

Incarcerated women are more vulnerable than you fucks.

Stop caping for prostate havers.

“Male pattern criminality” you know criminal behaviour is mostly dependant on social factors, right? Aka, economical position, class, mistreatment either through misogyny, or, god forbid, transphobia and gender.

So the way that people present is they way they are perceived and expected to act and thus men or, masc identifying people would more likely to commit crimes as those are the gendered expectations of masculine people. So trans women are highly unlikely to fall into this strange thing you’ve called “male pattern criminality” which, let’s be honest, sounds like it’s been ripped straight from ‘male pattern boldness’ for your blatant transphobia and anti-feminist bullshit.

And yes, it is antifeminist because feminism, by definition, is equality for all genders, not just raising women up.

Also, where is your evidence on the fact that the trans-women who have been placed in women’s prison are rapists? Whilst it’s a possibility that a small percentage of them are, the likely fact is that you’re over exaggerating things to push your transphobic ideas. Not to mention, women can rape too, and women aren’t the only rape victims so I don’t see what your point is there.

Whilst it is true that incarcerated women are highly vulnerable - moreso than non-incarcerated men, which I am - doesn’t make them more vulnerable than the trans community as a whole. Just differently so. Hey, did you know that the majority of women in prison are woc? Or that fat women are more likely to be placed in prison or get a harsher sentence than those who aren’t just because of people’s biases against them? Or is your issue just that trans people are being afforded basic fucking human respect? Barely that because, let’s face it, the prison system isn’t humane.

Trans people are incredibly vulnerable. We are an extremely vulnerable community and have been the target of an onslaught of bigotry and violence, particularly getting worse more recently as resources get blocked and rights are rolled back. I don’t have to explain myself to you, and neither do any of the trans people in the community but your trans-misogyny is downright anti-feminist and goes against everything you should stand for as someone who supposedly wants equality.

By the way, thank you for gifting my the funniest phrase I have ever seen; Prostate Havers is the funniest way I’ve ever seen someone refer to an amab person as, only because it’s so absurd. Sorry that my care for the rest of the human race offends you, I only hope to be as self-centred and cruel as you are one day. :)

#transphobia #cw transphobia #this has been in my ask box for a while but I finally snapped tonight and responded #I know I should have just deleted and that this is some strange attempt to sway me to become a terf #(I think)#(they told me to stop caring for amab people so I assume they’re trying to pull me into their own ideals instead #that just is what it feels like)#but I wanted to get this out and address all the blatant wrongness there is in this post #cis people don’t add anything just rb #if a trans woman would like to chime in I’d love to hear from their perspective cause obviously they know more about this than me

17 notes · View notes

brain-depositary · 2 years

Text

I am seeing way too much of this on my timeline and this is not going to become a politics blog so I will only say this once:

1. “Invisibility”, or what we should probably call, “erasure and exploitation”, is a serious problem for transmasculine individuals. We can see it very often how in popular discourses when TERFs refer to us as “women and girls” this receives little to no pushback as the people they are talking about are assumed to be real women and girls. Our history is constantly erased to the point that we’re thought of as recently invented and because we are “new” and all the efforts to divide and conquer us we end up throwing our weight behind movements and individuals that do not have our best interest at heart for the hope of receiving scraps. We’re regularly left out of surveys and observational studies because there are “too few” of us to matter so our problems cannot be measured and when we don’t have numbers to cite our problems are considered not real. When bad things do happen to us, these bad things are used to ratchet up protections for people who are not us (often cis women). It’s an extremely vicious cycle, and while the hypervisibility of transfemmes has its own serious problems, it’s not an enviable position at all.

2. TERFs spend a lot of time talking about transmascs but because we are referred to as women and girls by them it’s completely overlooked as abuse directed at us even by other trans people. The vast majority of what people know about transmascs is from adult cis women who liked to climb trees at 10 years old so maybe think about where certain ideas about transmasculinity are coming from. Also, because of the “divide and conquer” strategies, some transmascs have thrown their lot in with these adult cis women when doing their own cost/benefit analysis. We know Caitlyn Jenner is full of shit when it comes to trans women in sports, so it’s reasonable to know that not all opinions from transmascs are created equally.

3. Many of the problems transmasculine individuals have are medical discrimination, mental health issues, and domestic violence and sexual assault. These are issues where awareness helps a lot, so if transmascs are screaming from rooftops about their issues that’s why. There’s a lot of intersection with race here as well, as in Black transmascs being greater targets for institutional violence BECAUSE they are masculine. Domestic violence and sexual assault are not just “things men do to women” and in the case of transmascs they often have pretty equal experience being assaulted by both men and women or sometimes even more by women than men. If they seem to complain more about female abusers than male this is likely actually borne out of their actual personal experience, like how the focus on male abusers is by many others.

4. It’s not correct to say that transfemmes “oppress” transmascs or even that transmascs “oppress” transfemmes. The amount of institutional power either of us have is so little as to be negligible tbh. However within trans communities there is a fuckload of LATERAL VIOLENCE, violence expressed between members of an oppressed group as an outlet for abuse received by an outside group. If you are trans and someone is pissing you off maybe think about this before engaging with them to think about if what you’re about to do is really worth it. I’ve found looking at lateral violence against male nurses to be very enlightening with the sort of thing many transmascs experience, though remember, if you’re a nurse you can quit your job, and transmascs have no such potential escape from this. What I’m trying to say is that someone engaging in this isn’t “punching up” at oppressors or “punching down” at the oppressed, they’re punching during a bar fight and generally being an asshole, and should be considered as such.

5. I’m not sure if any of you have been in an abusive household but there’s often the dynamic of one parent actively abusing you and one parent stepping aside and letting them do it. I think a lot of the perceived and actual bitterness from transmascs comes from the fact that many of us have actually been actively abused by TERF-adjacent women (often even targeted because we seemed unhappy with being girls) while the men in our lives sat back and did nothing. In point 3 I’ve noted that many transmasculine problems are more interpersonal in nature so I wouldn’t consider this to be irrelevant — however it’s important to note that someone with power over you choosing to do nothing while watching you be abused is complicit and not innocent.

6. Some things that are defined as male privilege are things we that can happen upon passing as male, like assumed competence with tech… however many things that are defined as male privilege are created by initiation into a “boys club” which most transmascs never receive. There is this bizarre idea that transmascs pass immediately upon taking testosterone, all immediately go stealth (as in move through the world as a cis person by remaking their appearance, history, and documents) and fit in perfectly into the world as cis men and receive all the male privilege, and therefore “abandon” the trans community a year after joining. I’m not sure how to explain how not true this is, it’s pretty much just “making up a guy to get mad at”. It can take years for transmascs to pass as male on testosterone, many cannot pass without surgery, and some will never pass at all, either due to how their bodies are, lack of access, or by choice. The reason transmascs leave trans communities is NOT because they suddenly blend into the world as a cis man but because many communities treat them poorly and the FIRST experience many have of transitioning is cutting oneself off from groups who claim to have their best interest in mind and be protecting them but are in reality treating them poorly for being themselves — women’s groups where, if not directly influenced by TERFs, at least see no reason to moderate out their abuse. Because of this, many transmascs who join trans groups decide that it’s better for them to go it alone, even as vulnerable trans people. It should also be noted that even in trans groups that aren’t overtly making their transmasculine members unwelcome may have zero resources for transmascs, making their stay pointless and leaving nothing for the transmasc members who come later, so it is a self-perpetuating issue that can’t be solved without effort. Groups that have some transmasculine leadership tend to be good at retaining transmasc membership but if you’re cycling through your transmasc leadership like socks maybe look at the points above (this was happening on the r/asktransgender subreddit a few years ago and it would have been comical how unaware the mods were if it weren’t so pathetic).

7. Claiming that this or that isn’t real feminism, like TERFism isn’t real feminism, is not helpful. The assertion that only good things are feminism and bad things aren’t feminism isn’t helpful. Feminism isn’t really a coherent movement and has gone through a LOT of different ideas, philosophies, and versions. The concept of “feminism is good, you need to be feminist to be good and anything bad isn’t REAL feminism”, is a No True Scotsman Fallacy and the same as people who claim the same about Christianity. The reason TERFs are using the aesthetics of the suffragette movement is BECAUSE of the fascist and racist elements that were in it, not despite it. You either need to accept this plurality of opinion and its consequences or work to actually throw those people out. Transmascs aren’t the first to find flaws in the feminism introduced to them and they won’t be the last. Our gendered categories in the west and that were exported are constructed not just by gender and reproductive organs but also by race, religion, eugenics, etc., and elevating the concept of “woman” that the whole thing is based upon above critique does us no favors.

Okay, that was probably too much and I’ll probably make myself very unpopular for this. But this is a Frankenstein blog and I’m not going to make the mistake of being ashamed of my hideous creation and hit send.

#trans men #transmasculine #feminism #transmasculinity

697 notes · View notes

doberbutts · 2 years

Note

Theres such a weird shift of energy towards transmascs recently on tumblr and idk why it got so volatile. Recently a some chick with a radfem following screen capped my profile and stuff from a comment i made and people are reblogging it making fun of my selfie from 5 years ago lmao? Like who has the time and why do they just think its fun to bully us? Ive also noticed alot more positivity too and my dash is quite small so i can keep it that way but oof.

I would say it looks particularly bad right now because there's a surge of bad actors who are getting loud, but it's been bad for a while. Back in the mid-2010s I was getting a lot of aggression on my main blog and more than one person had the audacity to tell me that I don't know what it's like experiencing transphobia because I am a trans man and thus I never experience misogyny and I was born with male privilege and when I brought up that I didn't pass it became "oh so you're saying that trans women are men is that it" and "people treat you like a man even if you don't pass" (lol what) so this particular type of nastiness has been around sadly for closing in on a decade now.

I've been around long enough to safely say that it's the same regurgitated biphobia, panphobia, acephobia, enbyphobia, etcetc that's sadly circulated the LGBT community since before I was born. Every once in a while the loudest voices jump to a different letter of the acronym and hone in on that for a while. The good news is, when it's over people will be like "man that was nuts can you believe" and they will mostly leave you alone. But right now it's trans mascs that are on the receiving end of it, and I think everyone who was fighting this type of behavior before sort of knew that it was going to hop targets as soon as the main target stopped being a fun punching bag.

The best thing that has come of this is that many trans mascs have banded together and are lifting up each other's voices to ensure we are no longer invisible and that we can finally be heard. It can be very scary, going from invisible to visible, and it makes people feel threatened that suddenly a group that's mostly existed on the sidelines is getting attention. They often feel it takes away from "their" attention to recognize another group's needs. Again very old hat, this was the exact logic of white moderates when the civil rights era was going strong be it in regards to black people gaining literally any rights at all or specifically black women being allowed to discuss problems specific to black women, and the logic of abled but marginalized people when disability advocates asked not to be left in the dust.

I am sorry people are making fun of you. People also like to make fun of me. I get all manner of filth in my ask box and I'm frankly surprised it's been so quiet recently though I've blocked a large number of bad actors I've seen so likely that's part of it. We will get through this.

31 notes · View notes

softtransbf · 3 years

Text

Mister Nice Guy, part 2

part one

Summary: Shit hits the fan, and the rest of the BAU is done with it.

Word Count: 3523

Reader: he/him trans man, no physical description

Warnings: case involving targeting gay people, brief mention of a child abduction case, coming out/anxiety of experiencing transphobia (no actual transphobia though), alcohol, swearing

@aleccolocco (sorry it took so long to finish lol)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"No, that doesn't make any sense at all, doctor!" you spat his title. "He's not jealous of these couples, killing what he can't have, or a homophobe, punishing gay people for being happy. He's putting an end to their unhappy relationships. He sees it as mercy." Over the months, your cold war with Reid turned into outright conflict, and tonight, alone in the police station in Oregon, was no exception. Hotchner had tasked the two of you with presenting the preliminary profile the next morning, and it was going as well as conversations ever went.

"We have no evidence that he knows they're unhappy, though. All of his victims are clearly happy in their relationships," Reid challenged.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. "Please. One look at their social media and it's obvious that the relationships are on the rocks."

"Where do you get that? All I see are typical happy relationships. Selfies, checking into special events together, posts about kind things one does for the other. Nothing indicating a troubled relationship to me."

"The gentlemen doth protest too much. They're painting an overly happy painting on social media, hoping that some of that happiness will actually become real. They're desperate for the relationship to work."

"Let's say you're right. I don't think you are, but let's pretend for the sake of trying to see your logic through. Why? Why would they be so desperate to save a failing relationship?"

"God, straight men just don't fucking get it!" You went to grab a file, missing his small flinch. "You don't understand how limited the dating pool for men who are into men is. Look at the most recent couple in particular. The most lovey-dovey on social media, and got the most brutal deaths."

"Yes, because they were the happiest. My theory holds," Reid interrupted.

"No. Look, this guy put way more out there on social media than his partner, and look at the pictures he posted. Look how forced his smile is, look at the body language. He needs this relationship to work, because dating as a gay man is one thing, dating as a gay trans man is almost impossible. Having to start over and deal with transphobia over and over again is worse than being in a bad relationship. In his eyes, I mean." Shit, the first person I come out to on this team cannot be Spencer fucking Reid. He doesn't deserve the honor.

"That was yesterday. We haven't gotten the autopsy report yet. How could you possibly know that he's trans?"

"Testosterone vials and needles in the bathroom. Neither of them are old enough for a cis man to reasonably have issues that require testosterone injections. It's HRT, hormone replacement therapy."

"Even if you're right, your conclusion still seems like a much bigger jump than mine, that the killer sees the relationships as happy and is lashing out at that, be it from jealousy or homophobia."

"Whatever. You'll see tomorrow, when we talk to the M.E., that he was trans, and that fact backs me up. I am absolutely right about this, and you will eat your words. Then I will present my theory, and you can choke on yours."

"We? You anticipate us spending more time together?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I meant 'we' as in the team, asshat. The world doesn't revolve around you. Mine sure as hell doesn't. I'm gonna go back to the hotel, write my own damn preliminary profile, and try to get some fucking sleep. Clearly we won't agree on this."

"We don't ever agree on anything," he pointed out.

"Not true. We agree that we dislike each other and can't get along. Good night, doctor." You turned and walked away, not giving him a chance to respond.

This man is going to be the death of me, he thought as he watched you walk away.

The autopsy report came in the next day, and you were right. The tech team also found a locked notes app on his phone that catalogued his unhappiness and fear of leaving. You presented your preliminary profile to the team. Reid didn't even argue; he just sat in silence, leaving the room as soon as you were finished. Never one to pass up a chance to gloat for beating him, you offered to get coffee for the team, got everyone's order, and left shortly behind him.

You were expecting to catch up to him, his impossibly long legs be damned. You weren't expecting him to be waiting for you. He pulled you into an empty interrogation room and pushed you up against a wall, his face just inches from yours. It was only a moment before being flustered by the closeness and those goddamn eyes were replaced by anger.

"What the FUCK, Reid?"

"What game are you playing, Y/N? What game are we playing? What's your endgame?" He spoke quickly and softly, but there was an intensity in his voice that had you captivated.

"I'm the one playing games?" You pushed him back, away from you. "You're the one who decided to hate me before we even met. When I transferred, all I wanted was to do a good job and fit in with the team. But quite literally from the minute I walked through the door, you'd decided you hate me. Turnabout is just fair play, gorgeous." Oh, fuck.

"Gorgeous?" You walked past him to the other side of the room, running a hand through your hair and turning your back on him. "Fine. Yeah, okay? I wanted approval from the brilliant and handsome Doctor Spencer Reid. In a way that's respectful of your heterosexuality, of course." You turned around and faced him again. "But that doesn't matter, because you made it clear you wanted nothing to do with me right off the bat."

"What makes you think I'm straight?" He's fucking with me, now that that cat is out of the bag. Great. Fucking cishet men. Even he's no different. Thank god he still thinks I'm cis.

"Garcia mentioned in her newbie-run-down that you're 'awkward, but in a cute way, especially around women'. Plus, she mentioned that Emily is bi, leaving everyone else implied straight as even the best cishet allies are wont to do. And as we both know, Penelope knows everything.

And before you make the hearsay argument I can see forming in that brilliant head of yours, I've heard and seen too much about your impeccable memory to assume you don't remember when we all went to the bar after my first case. I was unabashedly Queer, friendly flirting with Derek and calling out cishet bullshit. When I did the latter, you literally rolled your eyes and walked away. Which is, funnily enough, some cishet bullshit.

JJ said you were just going through a thing and things would get better, but they just got worse. I'm not going to ask you to spill whatever was going on, because it's not my business, but god damn, dude. Why did you hate me so much so quickly?"

"You asked JJ about me?" He took a few steps towards you, a small smile on his face.

"That's the part you focused on? Jesus fucking Christ. Yes, I asked her about why you decided to hate me before we even met. Whatever. I hope you got whatever you were looking for by pulling me in here. I'm done. Done with this conversation, done with whatever has been going on with you and us since the day I transferred." You turned to leave, but he grabbed your arm. It was barely more than a light touch, but you let it stop you.

"Y/N. I can't-" he sighed. "God, you make my head spin. I can't organize my thoughts enough to say what I want to. JJ was right, there was something I had to work through, and I guess you'd made up your mind about me before I figured it out. It isn't an excuse for how I treated you, just an explanation. As for the more recent development of arguments… I guess I read a subtext that wasn't there. I could never dislike you, let alone hate you. I am truly sorry for- for all of it." With three long strides, he was out the door.

Make his head spin? What subtext? Since when is he unable to say what's on his mind? And what was that about not disliking me? All we've done since we met is argue or ignore each other. Why else would he act like that? Why do I even care? Why am I so knotted up about what he's thinking and feeling? Whatever. Fuck him, and not in the fun way. I've gotta go get coffee for the team. As you were getting the coffee, you couldn't get the memory of his face, so close to yours, to stop playing in your head.

The rest of the case was mostly as normal, but there was an energy between you and Spencer that was distant like when you joined the team, but there was something else to it that you couldn't quite put your finger on. It made you a little bit sad, though, for reasons you didn't understand.

"I love you, Y/N. I love you so much. I pulled away from you because it terrified me how much I loved you from the moment you walked through the door that first day. Being around you, even when we were arguing, made me feel alive in a way I never had before. You're all I think about, you're all I could ever want. I love you."

"I… I love you too." You didn't know which one of you moved, maybe you both did, but in an instant, you were kissing Spencer Reid, and you couldn't have been happier.

You woke up with a start, breathing heavily. You looked around; you were in your room, home alone, and it was 3:37 am. What the hell was that?

Four hours later, you trudged through the door of the BAU office, venti red-eye in hand. You made it about ten steps before Derek had his arm around your shoulders.

"Whoa there, hot stuff. Rough night?" You tried to shake him off, but he wouldn't budge, so you just kept walking, making him go with you towards your desk.

"So not your business, Derek. You being open with your personal life doesn't mean we all have to be open like that with ours."

"Personal life, huh? So who is he? More importantly, how was he, and should we expect more mornings like this in the future?" You rolled your eyes and playfully shoved him away. You'd reached your desk, so you sat on top of it, facing him. As you did, you made eye contact with Spencer, who was well within earshot. His face was unreadable, and you weren't sure why him hearing Morgan tease you like that upset you. It never had before.

"No, Derek. There's no one. Just some nightmares. Nothing major; I'll be fine by tomorrow." You got off your desk, sat in your chair, and logged into your laptop. Derek whistled and walked away without another word, shaking his head.

You tried to focus on the paperwork you needed to get done, but you couldn't stop thinking about that dream. The feeling of his lips on yours… it felt so real.

This is ridiculous. Love? We don't even like each other. Well… there was the stuff he was saying yesterday- 'I could never dislike you, let alone hate you', and some sort of subtext? But not disliking someone is a far cry from love. Plus, he's straight, so this is all absurd. And even if he DID have feelings for me, I sure as hell don't return them. I mean, maybe he's not as awful as I've thought, especially if he wasn't coming from a place of dislike. And he really is very pretty. Those eyes… Wait, what the fuck? This is all fucking ridiculous. I just need to get a full night's sleep tomorrow, and all this weirdness will be gone.

You took a giant gulp of your coffee, shook your head, and ran your fingers through your hair. Fortunately, Hotchner called a team meeting, forcing your attention to other things.

While no case could ever be described as 'normal', this case was pretty cut and dry, once you figured out what you were looking for. No dramatic twist, no tense showdown at his arrest. There weren't many cases like that, but you were very glad that this one was. You never sleep well when on a case, and no matter what you did, you couldn't shake that dream, the butterflies it left in your stomach every time you looked at him, and the strange disappointment when, unlike before that moment in Oregon, he wasn't looking at you.

Two more weeks passed. The energy between you and Spencer, whatever force it was that had drawn you together to argue again and again, was gone. You were polite to each other, and cooperated as necessary, but didn't do more than the bare minimum when it came to interacting with each other. Your interactions were cold and low-spirited. So you were so glad for a fun night out with Penelope, Emily, and JJ.

"So, Y/N, things seem… different… between you and Spencer these days. Did something happen?" Emily's tone made it clear that the three of them had intended to bring this up long before the plan to get drinks was even made. "I appreciate y'all waiting until I had a couple of drinks in me at least before going here. I guess we just got tired of fighting? I don't know. I can't figure out what's going on in that brilliant head of his. I thought I at least knew where I stood with him, even though it was purely adversarial, but I think I was wrong. But then that leaves me with no idea what he thinks of me or why I care so damn much."

"Really? No idea at all?" JJ asked. "I remember walking by a closed door in the police station in Oregon and hearing the word 'gorgeous' being thrown around." "Oh my god. You heard that?" You buried your face in your hands, and they all laughed.

"Yeah, I did, but only that one word. I'd figured you were on the phone with someone, but then you and Spence both started acting sad. I wasn't sure, of course, that you were talking to him until just now."

"Fuck. Okay, yeah. I think he's pretty. But I'm absolutely not alone in that. Derek calls him Pretty Boy, for goodness' sake. Appreciating someone's beauty doesn't have to mean anything more."

"Y/N, really? After everything we've been through together, you're gonna lie to us like this? Whatever happened, you've both been miserable since, and it's throwing the whole team off balance."

"What do you want me to say, Penelope? That I'm in love with him? He's pretentious and a know-it-all and a nerd and funny and kind and gorgeous and oh my God. I think I'm in love with him." The three women clapped and cheered.

"Finally, you get there! Took you long enough." Emily winked. "So, what's the plan now?"

"Keep this shit between us until my feelings go away. Even if he wasn't straight, I wouldn't risk fucking things up by telling him how I felt. As it is, I stand no chance in hell, so I'm just gonna write this one off as another straight guy I've fallen for and try to move on."

"Y/N, if you tell him-" Penelope started.

"No. You, more than anyone, know why I can't even entertain the idea of trying to be with him. I can't set myself up for that kind of pain. Not here, not where things are so good." You looked at all three of them. "I know that your intentions were good, but I just can't do this. I'm sorry." You grabbed your coat and left.

Your interactions with Spencer changed yet again. Now that you knew you loved him, you couldn't help yourself from being warmer towards him. As the weeks passed, you got closer. After three weeks, you considered him to be a good friend, not that that made things any less painful. You were just hoping that Penelope, Emily, and JJ were going to respect your wishes and drop the subject of your feelings for him.

[From: Penelope]: round table room ASAP

Shit. The last time you'd gotten that text from Penelope, the team left on a serial child abduction case 30 minutes later. So, despite it being your day off, you ran out the door and were there with your go bag in 15 minutes.

But no one else was there. No files on the table, nothing to indicate that there was a new case. You pulled out your phone to call Penelope, but then you heard a commotion outside the door- you'd closed it behind you.

"No, Derek, wait, I don't-"

"Can it, Pretty Boy, and thank me later." Derek opened the door, pushed Spencer into the room, winked at you, and shut the door, all in about 3 seconds.

"Spencer. Um, hi. Is the rest of the team not going to join us? Garcia's text seemed pretty urgent." You tucked your phone into your pocket.

"I don't think so, since I just heard Morgan barricade the door." He tried to open the door and failed.

"Oh my god they're Parent Trapping us. I'm gonna kill them."

Spencer tilted his head, confused. "Parent Trapping?"

"Oh my god have you not seen any of the Parent Trap movies? Were you living under a rock in 1998?" "I was seventeen and working on my first doctorate, so pretty much, yeah," he laughed. You couldn't help but laugh, too, as you firmly ignored how his smile made you absolutely melt.

"Fair enough. The '61 one is good too, but the '98 Lindsay Lohan one is Iconic for good reason. Anyway. The point is, they've locked us in here and won't let us out until we have a conversation."

"Just a conversation? Or do they want us to talk about something in particular?" He took a seat at the table.

"I- yeah, they have a particular topic in mind. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. I was tipsy and said things I should have just kept to myself. I thought they'd respected my wishes and left well enough alone, but clearly they didn't. And they won't let us out of here until I tell you-" you hesitated.

"Tell me what?" He leaned forward, and part of you swore you saw hope in his beautiful brown eyes. You looked at the floor, avoiding them.

"Tell you that I… have feelings for you. Romantic, cheesy, butterflies-in-my-stomach feelings. I don't know why they want me to tell you this. We've just gotten to a good place as friends, and you're straight, and-"

Somehow you missed the sound of him getting up and taking the few steps over to you, because you practically jumped out of your skin when his hands were suddenly on your shoulders.

"Y/N. Please, darling, look at me?" Bewildered by the endearment, you did, and his smile was blinding. "I'm not straight. I'm bi, and I think part of me has been in love with you since your first day at the BAU. The thing JJ said I was working through? The potential problems of having feelings for a coworker. For you. As soon as you walked through that door", he pointed and then took both your hands in his, "I loved you. The night at the bar? I was rolling my eyes at myself for how much I wanted to kiss you, and I walked away to stop myself from doing something reckless. I love you, Y/N. Can I do something reckless?"

"I'm trans," you blurted. "I hope that doesn't change anything, but it's something you should know. If knowing that I'm trans changes things, now is the time for you to say something. If it's a problem and it blows up later, it might actually kill me. Because I love you, too. So much. If it doesn't change anything, then please, Spencer, kiss me."

The words were barely out of your mouth before his lips were on yours. You weren't sure how long you were kissing before you were interrupted by cheers from the other side of the door. "Shit, Spencer, they're going to be the worst about this, aren't they?" You were a bit embarrassed by how breathy your voice was, but you were too happy to really care.

"Oh yeah. We're not going to get a moment that's just us in this building ever again. Do you want to get it over with and face them, or would you prefer we stay in this moment a bit longer?"

"What do you think, doctor?" you asked, pulling him in for another kiss.

#spencer reid x male reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #Criminal Minds Fanfiction #otp: pretty boys

180 notes · View notes

comrade-meow · 3 years

Link

The male-centered progressive left has successfully made woman-hating trendy.

Today, yet another “Karen” video went viral online. This time, it seems a woman flipped off a male driver, one Karlos Dillard, who then followed her home and filmed her as she melted down into hysterics, posting the video online, which included her home address and license plate. Over eight million views later (sure to be more by the time you read this), and Dillard is selling t-shirts based on the incident.

It seems this is a hobby for Dillard, who has posted other similarly antagonistic videos, accusing women of “racism” (despite no evidence of racism) in an attempt turn Karen virality into profit. Other t-shirts for sale on his Instagram profile include one with the words, “Karen… Are you OK?” and another reading, “Keep that same energy, Karen.”

The Karen meme has been misogynist from the getgo, originating from an anonymous male Reddit user, Fuck_You_Karen, who was angry at his ex-wife, named Karen, for taking custody of his children. In 2017, his misogynist rants became a subreddit, r/FuckYouKaren.

Recently, the meaning of “Karen” was said to refer specifically to middle class, middle aged white women who are so entitled they ask to speak to the manager when perturbed, but has since morphed into a specifically racist white woman, who “weaponizes” white, female fragility against largely black men. This connects to sexist tropes that claim women use their emotions, vulnerability, and tears to manipulate men.

What began as a joke has become more than that, and has moved into explicitly misogynist (and, in my opinion, dangerous) territory.

“Becky,” which originated as a means to refer to basic white women — the Uggs-wearing, Starbucks-buying, pumpkin spice-loving kind — probably young, probably blonde, probably not working class. Like “Karen,” I never found this to be particularly offensive, as I had little desire to defend boring people who love Starbucks, but what was once a joke has become something much more egregious.Following someone to their home, doxxing, filming, and harassing them because they gave you the finger is unhinged. People are going to act like assholes in this world, and you need to learn to deal with that. Moreover, these viral videos, like the Amy Cooper/Christian Cooper bird watching/dog-off-the-leash incident, are always decontextualized. No one really knows what happened preceding the video, nor do they know why either party reacted as they did. We all know social media leaves little room for nuance, and far too many people enjoy a rage reaction over asking questions or considering they may not know the full story. The truth is that, today, people’s lives can be destroyed in an instant, via a viral post. And our culture is wielding that power with very little care.

While those participating in the mobs targeting the subjects of these currently popular Karen videos claim some form of racial justice, this is not an accurate representation.

This has little to do with race, and everything to do with a progressive left that has adopted woman-hating as political virtue signalling.

Last week, journalist and editor Jonathan Kay tweeted a “Wanted” poster he’d come across in Toronto, depicting a young, blonde, white woman. The text below her face mocked her as a “Basic Bitch” — privileged, entitled, and unwoke. The image and text presents “Becky” as dangerous — the new enemy. The A.C.A.B. (All Cops Are Bastards) logo on the poster implies it likely was produced and distributed by young anarchist men. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if they were white men, considering the face of groups (or non-groups, depending on who you ask) like Antifa.

The trend of presenting women as a threat extends beyond Becky and Karen. In recent years, Antifa, anarchists, trans activists, and leftists have targeted feminists who question the impact of gender identity ideology on women’s rights as dangerous — even more so than male predators. Rhetoric that claims “TERFs kill” intentionally erases the fact that it is men who are overwhelmingly responsible for violence against both women and men (including trans-identified males). As a result, reversing this claim to say “Kill TERFs” or to show up at events discussing gender identity with cardboard guillotines with the words “TERFs and SWERFs step right up” written on them has become an acceptable form of “activism.”

This has all happened within a left that has consistently ignored and even defended the misogyny, racism, and violence of prostitution and pornography, painting women who fight the sex trade as “whorephobic” and as causing harm to “sex workers.” Everyone knows who is responsible for the abuse that happens to women in porn and prostitution. We can see it on PornHub or we can read about it in the news. Yet the left consistently fails to hold those men accountable for the harm they cause. No, no. The real problem is women. Terms like “TERF” (which means “trans exclusionary radical feminist,” but, in practice, is used to smear anyone who questions gender identity legislation or ideology) and “SWERF” (which means “sex worker exclusionary radical feminist,” but is used to smear women — even women who have worked in the sex trade — who wish to stop the universal violence and exploitation inherent to prostitution) exist to misrepresent, vilify, and end conversation. One cannot defend a “TERF” or “SWERF” any more than one can defend a “Karen” or “Becky,” unless they would like to be pilloried as unwoke and bigoted themselves.

A few years ago, trans activists and their progressive allies adopted the term “cis” to refer to those whose “gender identity matches their sex.” Putting aside the fact that no one’s “gender identity” matches their sex, as whether or not a person is male or female has nothing to do with whether or not they identify with a list of sexist gender stereotypes, the term “cis” is said to denote “privilege.” This means that a woman who understands she is female is, as per trans ideology, “privileged” over a man who desires to be viewed as a woman or who does not feel connected to masculine stereotypes. This is ridiculous, of course, as women are impacted by sexism on account of being born female, and are vulnerable to male violence regardless of how they identify. Understanding one is female does not make a woman “privileged,” it makes her a sane human being. In other words, “cis” or “cisprivilege” completely erases the reality of sexism and male violence against women. Suddenly, we are to believe women pose a threat to males who identify as transgender. Just as we are now to believe “Becky” and “Karen” are so dangerous they deserve to be hated, harassed, and destroyed. Maybe punched. Maybe worse.

This is, I’m afraid, woman-hating. And it is dangerous. The popularity of the Karen meme has led people to seek out and invent Karens in order to gain followers and profit, as evidenced by Dillard’s racket. And rhetoric that positions feminists as dangerous, harmful “TERFs” has led to the acceptance of open violent threats against women, simply for speaking out in defence of women’s rights and spaces. Karen, Becky, SWERF, and TERF are nothing more than excuses to hate women. And I am tired of people participating and defending this misogyny simply because it is on trend, and because it results in applause from the male centred left.

Yes, women can be assholes. Yes, women can be racist. No, women are not all innocent victims. But this has become about much more than calling out annoying, racist, or entitled behaviour. And, in fact, I think it was always about more than that. Let’s stop this before someone gets (literally) hurt.

#Anglo.txt

25 notes · View notes

gettin-bi-bi-bi · 3 years

Note

Uhh nefore further reading, I apologise if this ask is triggering to the trans mods. I understand if they don’t want to look at it or answer. Having said that, here goes the question:

How common do you think is to be jealous of other queer identities? For context, I am bisexual and I currently identify as nonbinary (trans misogyny exempt) and for the past months I’ve been feeling jealous of trans men and other transmasculine people who’d rather be seen as men than as women in society. I can’t help thinking “of course they do. Anything is better than being a woman. I wish I could escape too” and, logically, i know that’s really unfair because being or passing as a man doesn’t mean your life is automatically easier. Men (and especially trans men) have different struggles that are as real as women’s, but for some reason I can’t get my brain to really believe it. I am jealous because they don’t get catcalled or forced to shave their legs or perfom “feminine rituals” once they transition, and can walk at night safer than if they were a woman, among other things. I don’t think transitioning would be the answer for me, because unfortunately i like this weaker body better ;-; i feel like there’s no solution for me. Sorry for long ask

because of your trigger warning for the trans mods I'm gonna answer this as the only cis person on this blog but of course Wes, Max or Tiger might want to add something from their perspective - and tbh I hope they do because I can, by virtue of beign cis, only speak about this from an outside perspective.

First of all, I might be uneducated here but what exactly does "trans misogyny exempt" mean? To my understanding anyone can be/say/do transmisogynistic things, even trans women themselves can internalise it and direct it at themselves or other trans women. You know, like bi people can also be biphobic. So, forgive me if I'm misunderstanding something here but as far as I know there is no identity that makes someone inherently exempt from transmisogyny?

I've recently learned that "gender envy" is a thing that trans and non-binary people sometimes experience which is when they see someone who presents a certain way and they wish they would also have that gender expression. I'm not sure if I can relate to that experience since being cis I hardly ever even think about my gender consciously. Maybe any trans people reading this could let me know if I understood the concept of "gender envy" correctly. Anyway, maybe that's something that plays a part in what you're feeling.

I assume from your ask that you have been assigned female at birth which makes me think that some of what you're struggling with could also be internalised misogyny. Yes, you're non-binary but that doesn't mean years of living as an afab person have had no impact on you. Especially the part where you're talking about a "weaker" body makes me think that and this strong association of womanhood = performance of gender expectations and being in constant danger of being assaulted.

And then.... I think you have some serious internalised transphobia or enbyphobia. That "jealousy" that you describe is loaded with a lot of assumptions about trans men that I don't think are all holding up. For example saying that trans men "don’t get catcalled or forced to shave their legs or perfom “feminine rituals” once they transition" is a very simplified understanding of transition. It's not like going on T makes a trans man pass as cis over night (if he even wants to pass) and a lot of trans people are actually expected to overperform the gender they transition to which is also pretty fucked up. It's not like trans men aren't also the target of transphobia or unhealthy gender stereotypes, or that a trans man is automatically safe from being assaulted. Corrective rape is a thing and if a transphobe doesn't even think of a trans man as a man then any "privilege" or safety he might have had is gone, worst case it puts him at greater risk of being assaulted (compared to cis men for sure and depending on the situation maybe also compared to cis women).

Furthermore trans men are not "escaping womanhood". That is a very transphobic thing to say and smells of TERF rhetoric (TERFs like to think that trans men are "confused butch lesbians" who are "forced to escape womanhood by patriarchy"). Trans men are men, whether they medically transition or not. And they do not do it to escape womanhood or have it easier to walk down the street at night. They transition because they are men and they want to live their true gender identity.

I don't know what advice to give you here other than that you probably still have a lot of self-reflection to do about your own gender and that you should educate yourself on what it means to be a trans man so you can unlearn those misconceptions about them. And also don't assume that anything about your identity exempts you from holding transphobic misconceptions and beliefs. As sympathetic as I am to anyone who has some such internalised issues, it is your responsibility to work through this - both for yourself and for the trans community. It's gonna take time and effort but I feel like in the end you might also be much more at peace with your own gender identity and be able to more clearly understand what this "jealousy" really is and how to deal with it.

Maddie

16 notes · View notes

pinkchaosart · 3 years

Text

On transphobia towards our Sisters (not just our cis-ters)

(TW: talk of transphobia, misogyny, gender and sex-based violence)

So I went and took a look at the post by @persistentlyfem that’s causing a major fuss, and I thought I’d address it as a lesbian femme myself. I see a lot of the common talking points that get thrown around and I’m seeing some truly toxic replies being thrown in her direction. Eight years ago I might have agreed with the replies, but I think it’s more useful to engage those talking points and maybe we can meet with some kind of understanding.

Now I want to get a few things out of the way first. Persistentlyfem says, if not in the main post then elsewhere on her blog, that she doesn’t identify as a radfem (radical feminist), so I won’t assume that she is one. I will however address the points she raises as being part of the trans-exclusionist radical feminist ideology, as that’s where the ideas seem to have come from.

One of the biggest misunderstanding between radical feminists and liberal feminists is the concept of gender vs. sex and their importance when speaking of identities. TERF ideology is rooted in second-wave feminism of the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s, which was a necessary step in the feminist school of thought and is the reason we have a lot of our modern rights. Most people who are trans-exclusionary would describe themselves as gender-critical, but in my opinion, I believe that being exclusionary towards trans women is rooted in the resistance to third-wave feminist ideas of individualism and diversity. But we’ll hold that thought for now.

The ideal of radical feminism is to liberate women by tearing down the concept of gender, abolishing it all together. The ideal of liberal feminism is to create equality by creating safe and inclusive spaces for everyone, regardless of gender, via social and legal reform. Basically the main difference between the two schools of thought is one seeks to destroy gender as a construct and the other seeks to expand it to be more inclusive. It’s important to note that being a radical feminist does not automatically mean that you must be trans-exclusionary.

So I’d like to talk about some specific talking points. I took a little stroll down Persistentlyfem’s blog to see what her experience has been and so that I can understand where she’s coming from. Normally I wouldn’t engage in this kind of conversation because I’m disabled so I have very little energy to spare, but as a fellow butch-attracted femme, I thought it might be useful to respond to her thoughts. I won’t respond to all the points in her recent post, but I will try to talk about the core ideas.

I see that she’s concerned with misogyny in LGBTQ2S+ spaces. I agree it’s widespread, often in ways that are covert. I see it in how butches treat femmes, how gay men talk about women, and how we speak to fellow gay women who disagree with our opinions. And, If I understand correctly, it’s that internalized misogyny that she believes is responsible for trans women believing they should be included in women-only spaces. I argue that it’s quite the opposite, and that it’s actually misogyny that keeps trans-women from being fully accepted.

What I mean is that I find the argument for “female-only spaces” (assigned female at birth, cisgendered women) quite reductive. It implies that there is only one way to be a woman and it reduces us to our genitalia. I don’t think anyone would say they’re a woman because they have a vagina and mean it fully (maybe you would, I don’t really know you). They would also say that their experiences shape them as a woman as well. And I agree, what makes a woman involves quite a lot of factors, and no two women’s experiences are the same. Persistentlyfem has argued that trans women are raised and socialized as male, but I disagree. Setting aside that trans women aren’t a monolith and have completely different socializations between individuals, I would agree that most trans women are treated as male growing up, but for the most part, it doesn’t quite….fit them. More accurately I would say our culture attempts to socialize them as men.

When I think back to my own experience growing up, I, like a lot of girls, had a “not like other girls” period. Internalized misogyny, great right? Because the socialization of “girl” didn’t quite right, the definition being narrow and rigid. Based on stereotypes. So I found my femininity later in my teens. I argue that this is something that most women go through in some way or another. We find our socialization as women uncomfortable and constraining. Not quite right.

As I said, you can’t speak of trans women as a monolith, but from the stories and dialogue I’ve been involved in, countless stories sound exactly like that. Being socialized into a Gender Box that doesn’t suit you is like watching a video in a language you don’t speak. Internalized misogyny is a universal experience between girls growing up, cis and trans, and it is internalized misogyny that keeps trans women from accepting who they truly are. In fact, for them to run away from woman as their identity would inherently be internalized misogyny.

The idea that trans ideology is based in “regressive stereotypes about ‘boys and girls’” isn’t wholly incorrect. I think we all agree that gender is a social construct. But that doesn’t make my identity as a women more valid than someone who transitioned later in life. It doesn’t follow that a trans’ person’s gender is less real than a cis person’s gender. And while we live in our culture and our current society, gender is something that we interact with on a daily basis, which makes it real in a very real sense. We could argue whether it should be that way, but the situation is currently that gender is an important construct in our culture. Not to mention, the thought that all trans people fall in a strict “man” or “woman” binary is incorrect as there are plenty of people that embody other gender identities. Indeed, there are many wonderful trans people that we could argue are the radfem ideal of aegender and/or non binary.

Now the idea that “lesbians and straight men like vaginas. Gays and straight women like penises” is a bit of a stretch. Again, I think a statement like this is pretty oversimplified, but I don’t think that you’re inherently wrong. Generally speaking, sure. Although, again, I’ve met plenty of straight women dating trans men, and there are plenty of straight men that date trans women. But the inherent flaw in this argument isn’t that you’re wrong, but that it implies that attraction equals validity. Am I a woman because a man is attracted to my vagina? No. Am I less of a woman if men aren’t attracted to me? Again, no. My gender isn’t contingent on other’s attraction to me, and that is the same for trans individuals. I think this kind of argument comes from the pressure that is sometimes felt within our community, that if you’re not open to dating trans people then you’re inherently transphobic. I am not going to get into that argument, as this is a whole other can of worms. But what I am going to say is that nobody is going to force you to date a trans person. You don’t have to date someone if you don’t want to. You don’t have to tell everyone why you don’t want to date them, you can just politely decline.

I’m going to be blatantly honest: I am predominantly attract to butch women and afab non binary masculine people. I have never dated someone who was amab, and generally speaking I don’t find myself attracted to them. But that doesn’t mean I think that trans women aren’t women just because I generally don’t find myself attracted to them.

On top of this I’m going to agree with you: sex based oppression does exist. So does gender-based oppression. I know I have experienced bullying in my own time based on my own gender, my ability, my weight, all that good stuff. Maybe some of it was based around embarrassing period episodes (which I would file under sex-based bullying). But misogyny is not just sex-based, it is also inherently gendered. And if we know anything about trans women, it’s that they are overly targeted with violence based on their gender. Especially if they’re BIPOC. And it’s because their gender is feminine that they’re perceived as being targets; is that not the epitome of misogyny? To hate a person because they’re not perceived as the patriarchal male ideal?

Something else I would like to talk about is the concept that trans women are inherently misogynistic. I would argue that every woman, regardless of what they were assigned at birth, carries internalized misogyny. Cis women, however, have years to grapple with it before becoming women. Trans women tend to not have as much time to unlearn internalized misogyny before they become women. That doesn’t invalidate them as women, it just means that we should be more supportive of them, not less. All of this trans-exclusionary rhetoric only serves to increase their self-hatred and I argue that that kind of talk is a contributing factor to the poor mental health we see in the trans community. Instead of supporting some of the people with the greatest insight into the patriarchy, trans-exclusionists push women away and inflict them with even more gendered violence and gender-based discrimination.

The other thing I want to address is the idea that trans women transitioning is rooted in homophobia. Which seems to make sense if you think of trans women being only attracted to men. The idea that a man decides to be a woman because he can’t deal with being gay doesn’t make a lot of sense, though. Homophobia tends to be rooted in misogyny too, a fear of being less of a man. So it doesn’t follow that the solution would be to “become a woman” much like the solution to put out a fire isn’t to light more things on fire. Piggybacking off of this point, a lot of trans exclusionists will accuse trans women of being predators. In fact, often, they’ll hold these two ideas at the same time. But the reality is that, if a man wants to prey on women, he doesn’t need to become a woman. The sign on the bathroom door isn’t actually a deterrent if a man wants to follow a woman in. And again, it’s a counter-intuitive idea, that a man who wants to prey on women would go through all the legal hurdles, all the social stigma, even some medical treatments just to gain access to women’s only spaces. Besides the fact that this type of behaviour is a myth created by conservative right-wing christian groups to stir up fear, it doesn’t happen and assault is still illegal regardless of what your gender marker is.

I am not going to address anything about surgery or hormones. Those points are only ever brought up as enforcing points, they’re not the main issues. Most of the rhetoric is based in fear-mongering conservative right-wing christian groups drum up and it is, again, a whole other topic that requires nuance that most people don’t acknowledge.

The main point I see Persistantlyfem talk about, and something we can agree on, is the misogyny in LGBTQ2S+ spaces. We all like to think that, somehow through our journeys of discovering our true selves, we shed the misogyny along the way, that our spaces are truly accepting of all genders and presentations. That’s not the case. Misogyny is still a problem in every letter of our community and it will be for a long time. We see it when butches treat femmes as “high maintenance” or like property, we see it in how gay men talk about female bodies. We see it the self-hatred trans people of all gender identities feel towards themselves. We see it when lesbians reject bisexual women.

Throwing around “terf” helps nobody. Calling each other stupid and pretentious is not useful. I know this is a painful topic to many on both sides, but the infighting in the queer community is toxic and needs to come down from a boil if we’re going to make any progress. Most people that sling insults are younger and therefor are more hot-headed. I used to be too, and still can be sometimes but like I said, limited energy means that you tend to focus it more consciously and I hope that this time I’ve spent here can help.

@Persistantlyfem, I see that you were hurt, and I respect and honour your experiences. I suspect that some of those that hurt you were trans women. I understand, I’ve had trans partners hurt me as well. But those experiences don’t allow us to revoke someone else’s right to their own interpretation of themselves. And I’m sorry about all of the toxicity you’ve experienced in these last few weeks, you don’t deserve it. I hope that we can have a conversation in a respectable way, worthy of two adult gays who’ve been through a lot.

9 notes · View notes

13yearslater · 3 years

Text

Rights in the UK

I don’t really know what I’m about to write as I start this, but I’ve been feeling some feelings lately about the social and political climate surrounding trans people.

I’m grateful to be in the UK, which relatively speaking is a fairly progressive and safe country for trans people compared to many others.

But I am still scared.

I’m not scared that I will be individually targeted and assaulted in the street. Although the 2,500 hate crimes against transgender people last year alone (a 210% increase since 2015/16) suggests that maybe my lack of concern is the privileged complacency of not being visibly trans, especially when we see that 81% of LGBT people don’t even report the hate crimes against them. That complacency lives on a tightrope however; I am one incident away, one incident of my trans status falling into the wrong hands, from realising that I am not immune to the abuse that I see my local trans sisters face on a daily basis.

And how confident would I be that any hate crime I were to experience would be dealt with appropriate and effectively? Well given that Scottish minister Humza Yousaf very almost pushed through amendments to Scotland’s Hate Crime & Public Order Bill that would directly exclude transgender people I may, perhaps naively, expect the police and courts to provide protection and justice for me now, but I am constantly reminded of just how fragile my protections are and how they can be snatched away at any given moment, and with public support.

What really scares me is the disregard for our rights and the increasing amounts of ‘anti trans’ pressure groups in the UK who are continuing to gain support and traction, including many that are LGBT based wishing to exclude us from their community entirely.

1. Gender Recognition Act

The Gender Recognition Act is one example I will address. This act is the means that trans people in the UK use to legally change their gender and acquire an updated birth certificate. This is a sixteen year old, heavily bureaucratic, expensive and lengthy process. It requires a payment of £140 and the following, many of which are also not free to obtain:

a) The requirement for the trans person to provide two medical reports, one evidencing a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the other outlining details of any treatment received;

b) The requirement for the trans person to provide a range of documentation that proves they have lived in their acquired gender for at least two years;

c) The requirement for the trans person to submit a statutory declaration of their intention to live in their acquired gender until death;

d) The requirement for married applicants to obtain the consent of their spouse or end their marriage;

e) The cost to the trans person of using the GRA process

It’s the very reason that over a decade later, I still have not obtained my gender recognition certificate. And given that an average of 300 GRC applications are processed each year compared to the estimated 200,000 to 500,000 trans people in the UK, I suspect I’m not the only one.

So anyway, in 2018 there was a consultation about the Gender Recognition Act with over 100,000 respondents and promises to reform this act. The response was hugely positive with the vast majority supporting the reform. It highlighted all the issues with the process that is preventing trans people gaining legal recognition. We were all hopeful, and many of us who had been awaiting this moment to gain our own GRCs sat in wait. Unfortunately, two years later, the government announced that they had decided to scrap plans to reform the GRA altogether stating that this was not the priority for trans people. The consultation was also considered to be biased due to too many positive responses; despite only ~20% of respondents being trans themselves and ~20% being from all called upon by anti-trans groups such as Fair Play for Women.

2. The Keira Bell case

I don’t wish to get into the finer details of the case itself or my opinions on the matters involved, but to give a brief overview, a woman who transitioned and received puberty blockers at age 16, testosterone at age 17 and a double mastectomy at age 20. She later detransitioned and went on to sue the NHS (National Health Service) claiming that she was not challenged enough and that under 18s cannot consent to treatment such as puberty blockers with the aim to prevent the prescription of puberty blockers for all trans youth.

Long story short, she was successful and the Tavistock clinic, ie the only gender identity clinic in the UK that treats trans people under the age of 18, is no longer able to prescribe puberty blockers to anyone under the age of 16, with those between 16-18 having to seek approval via court first.

If we take a look at who was involved in this court case we see Keira Bell herself and her mother as the claimants and the Tavistock clinic as the defendant. For the interested parties who had direct input into this case we had “Mrs A” - the mother of a 15yr old autistic child displaying gender dysphoria who is firmly against her child being able to access a gender clinic (interestingly, any of her input was regarded as purely hypothetical since her child had never attended, nor would ever attend a gender identity clinic), we also had Transgender Trend - an anti-trans pressure group and finally, we have the University College of London who are not gender specialists. Meanwhile, groups such as Mermaids who are a well-known charity aimed at supporting trans children and Stonewall who are campaigners for LGBT rights in the UK both applied and were both denied access to this case. The judge of course did also not have any authority on the subject.

My issue here is yet again, how fragile my rights and protections feel and my ever waning confidence that government or legal processes are in any way fair and balanced. This was not a fair trial; there was no balance in stances, other than the defendant there were no gender specialists or even anyone heavily involved in the lives and care of trans people. The majority of interested parties were there with a firm agenda, and those that countered their beliefs were not allowed through the doors.

Puberty blockers are not an issue that affect me directly, but if a biased court taking the likes of “Mrs A” and her ‘theoretical’ input over reputable charities with a wealth of knowledge, experience and expertise can be created to make such rulings and remove healthcare from an entire demographic of people then what is stopping that happening to my healthcare? Nothing, that’s what.

3. The census

Our census takes place every ten years and has always allowed transgender individuals to choose the sex that aligns with their passport. For me personally, selecting male feels like a far more accurate representation of my place in society, my legal status and my physicality along with the fact that I have been listed as male in previous census forms.

This year however, a second question was added. This questions asks “do you identify with your sex assigned at birth” with the options being yes or no and a box to enter further information when selecting no. The official guidance on the first question remained the same, stating that it was appropriate to select the sex that aligned with passports or legal documents. The first question allows data to be gathered on men and women, the second question allows data to be gathered specifically on the number of transgender individuals and other identities such as non binary - the two questions are entirely independent of each other and will generate separate sets of data.

But today, it came to light that anti-transgender pressure group, Fair Play for Women crowdfunded £100,000 to challenge this and bring it to court. This was successful and the official guidance has now changed to exclude all legal documents except a gender recognition certificate - which as previously mentioned, only a small percentage of trans people actually have due to the long, expensive and bureaucratic process involved in obtaining one.

Personally, I don’t really mind if I have to tick female to a question that asks my sex at birth. The question doesn’t explicitly ask for sex at birth however and is more aimed at showing the demographics of the UK for which female is absolutely not accurate for me. What bothers me is that a group have raised £100,000 from the public to ensure that we can’t select an accurate representation of who we are and our place in society and that it was approved.

4. The toilet provision

This has flown under the radar due to Covid-19 but the government recently held a consultation around public toilets. It seems fairly innocent at first glance. Except again, we’re seeing these anti-trans pressure groups calling for action amongst their followers, some with the call to ‘protect single sex spaces’. Could this be the beginnings of American-style bathroom bills in the UK?

---

So yes, I am scared. I’m scared by the fragility of my rights and freedoms; how easy they are to peel away bit by bit and how it passes by with little notice nor care, or in some cases with public support and even funding. I’m scared of the people who are given the power to make decisions about our rights based on no prior knowledge of experience of trans issues. I’m scared that we will be alienated and excluded from our LGBT spaces and supports. Will I be looking back in ten years, eternally grateful that I was able to transition when I did? Grateful for the gender clinics of today with their six year waiting lists? Will I live in a time where I must disclose my trans status on every document, at every job? Will I live in a time where I must provide my sex in order to use the gym? Will there be a time that I am not able to legally change my gender? I’m scared by the hostility of society, at times their vehement opposition to us existing amongst them, their disregard for the importance of our healthcare and all too often the anger that our ‘cosmetic’ surgeries are covered at all.

In a time that my life and rights feel like a debate, unimportant and constantly at the mercy of others, in a time that members of the public will raise huge amounts of money just to stop people like you ticking a box on a form, you’re damn right I’m scared for the future.

#ftm #trans #transgender #trans man #lgbt #lgbtq #sources included #text

9 notes · View notes

hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years

Text

I’d go so far as to say that the nomination probably saved the site, in fact. For those who need a little background: despite being a small voluntary project the site was nominated for the 2014 Publication of the Year award by Stonewall, the UK’s largest LGBT charity, just nine months after its inception. This was a landmark step in Stonewall’s positive new direction on bi issues. To the best of my knowledge, this was the first time Stonewall had specifically nominated a specifically bi publication or organisation for an award. At this point my co-founder, who was taking care of the business side of things, had recently jumped ship and I was seriously considering packing the whole thing in. I won’t lie, I was astonished to read the email.

I’d worked on a publication which won the award under my editorship a few years previously. Unlike Biscuit, however, g3 magazine – at the time one of the two leading print mags for lesbian and bi women in the UK – had an estimated readership of 140,000, had been going for eight years and boasted full-time paid office staff and regular paid freelancers. Biscuit, by contrast, was being dragged along by one weary unpaid editor and a bunch of unpaid writers who understandably, for the most part, couldn’t commit to regularly submitting work.

Little Biscuit’s enormous competition for the award consisted of Buzzfeed, Attitude.co.uk, iNewspaper and Property Week. We didn’t win – that accolade went to iNewspaper – but the nomination was nevertheless, as I say, a huge catalyst to continue with the site. I launched a crowdfunder, which finished way off target. I sold one ad space, for two months. Then nothing. I attempted in vain to recruit a sales manager but nobody wanted to work on commission. Some wonderful writers came and went. There were periods of tumbleweed when I frantically had to fill the site with my own writing, thereby completely defeating the object of providing a platform for a wide range of bi voices.

The Stonewall Award nomination persuaded me to keep going with the site

The departure of the webmaster was another blow. Thankfully by this point I had a co-editor on board – the amazing Libby – so I was persuaded to stick with it. And here we are now. I don’t actually know where the next article is coming from. That’s not a good feeling. But, apart from for Biscuit, I try not to write for free anymore myself, so I understand exactly why that is. As a freelance journo trying to make a living I’ve had to be strict with myself about that. I regularly post on the “Stop Working For Free” Facebook group and often feel a pang of misplaced guilt because I ask my writers to write for free, even though I’m working on the site for free myself, and losing valuable time I could be spending on looking for paid work.

Biscuit hasn’t exactly been a stranger to controversy, in addition to its financial and staffing issues. Its original tagline – “for girls who like girls and boys” – was considered cis-centric by some, leading to accusations that the site had some kind of trans/genderqueer*-phobic agenda. Which was amusing, as at the height of this a) we’d just had two articles about non-binary issues published and b) I was actually engaged to a genderqueer partner, a fact they were clearly unaware of. Now the site is under fire from various pansexual activists who object to the term “bisexual”. To clarify – “girl and boys” was supposed to imply a spectrum and, no, we don’t think “bi” applies only to an attraction to binary folk. The site aims the main part of its content at female-spectrum readers attracted to more than one gender because this group does have specific needs. But there is something here for EVERYONE bisexual. Anyway, it’s a shame all of this gossip was relayed secondhand, and the people in question didn’t think to confront me about it (which at least the pan activists have bothered to do). We damage our community immeasurably with these kinds of Chinese whispers.

Biscuit ed Libby, being amazing

Whilst trying to keep the site afloat, I’ve also been building on the work I started right back when I edited g3, and trying to improve bi visibility in other media outlets. I’ve recently had articles published by Cosmopolitan, SheWired, The F-Word, GayStar News and Women Make Waves and I’m constantly emailing other sites which I’ve not yet written for with bi pitches. Unfortunately, although I am over the moon to be writing for mainstream outlets such as Cosmo about bi issues, it’s been an uphill struggle trying to persuade some editors out there that they have more readers to whom bi-interest stories apply than they might think. It’s an incredibly exhausting and frustrating process.

Libby and I are doing our best with Biscuit. I can’t guarantee that I would be doing anything at all with it if Libby hadn’t arrived on the scene, so once again I would like to mention how fabulous she is. But we desperately need more writers. We need some help with site design and tech issues. We need a hand with the business and sales side of things. We can’t do it without you. And if you know any rich bisexual heiresses who read Biscuit, please do send them our way. 😉

Grant Denkinson’s story

denkinsonpanel

Grant speaks on a panel chaired by Biscuit’s Lottie at a Bi Visibility Day event

So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.  

“I’ve been involved with bisexual community organising for a bit over 20 years. Some has been within community: writing for and editing our national newsletter, organising events for bisexuals and helping others with their events by running workshop sessions or offering services such as 1st aid. I’ve spoken to the media about bisexuality and organised bi contingents at LGBT Pride events (sometimes just me in a bi T-shirt!). I’ve helped organise and participated in bi activist weekends and trainings. I’ve help train professionals about bisexuality. I’ve also piped up about bisexuality a lot when organising within wider LGBT and gender and sexuality and relationship diversity umbrellas. I’ve been a supportive bi person on-line and in person for other bi folks. I’ve been out and visibly bi for some time. I’ve helped fund bi activists to meet, publish and travel. I’ve funded advertising for bi events. I’ve set up companies and charities for or including bi people. I’ve personally supported other bi activists.”

 What made you get involved?

“ In some ways I was looking for a way to be outside the norm and to make a difference and coming out as bi gave me something to push against. I’ve been less down on myself when feeling attacked. I’ve also found the bi community very welcoming and where I can be myself and so wanted to organise with friends and to give others a similar experience. There weren’t too many others already doing everything better than I could.”

How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?

“There have been great changes for same-sex attracted people legally and socially and these have happened quickly. Bi people have been involved with making that happen and benefit from it. We can also be hidden by gay advances or actively erased. We still have bi people not knowing many or any other local bi people, not seeing other bisexuals in the mainstream or LGT worlds and not knowing or being able to access community things with other bis. We are little represented in books or the media and people don’t know about the books and zines and magazines already available. The internet has made it easy to find like-minded people but also limited privacy and I think is really fragmented and siloed. It is hard to find bisexuals who aren’t women actors, harmful or fucked up men or women in pornography designed for straight men. We have persistent and high quality bi events but they are sparse and small.”

What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?

“I’m fed up of bi things just not happening if I don’t do them. Not everything should be in my style and voice and I shouldn’t be doing it all. I and other activists campaign for bi people to be more OK and don’t take care of ourselves enough while doing so. People are so convinced we don’t exist they don’t bother with a simple search that would find us. We have little resources while having some of the worst outcomes of any group. I don’t want to spend my entire life being the one person who reminds people about bisexuals, including our so-called allies. I’m not impressed with the problem resolution skills in our communities and while we talk about being welcoming I’m not sure we’re very effective at it. I’m fed up with mouthing the very basics and never getting into depth about bi lives and being one who supports but who is not supported. I’m all for lowering barriers but at a certain point if people don’t actively want to do bi community volunteering it won’t happen. Some people are great critics but build little.”

What do you want to say to other activists about this?

“Why are we doing this personally? I’m not sure we know. How long will we hope rather than do? Honestly, are there so few who care? Alternatively should we stop the trying to do bi stuff and either do some self-analysis, be happy to accept being what we are now as a community, chill out and just let stuff happen or give up and go and do something else instead.”

Patrick Richards-Fink’s story

085d4de So first of all, explain a little about the activism you’re involved/have been involved in.

“Mostly internet – I am a Label Warrior, a theorist and educator. Here’s how I described it on my blog: “One of the reasons that I am a bisexual activist rather than a more general queer activist is because I see every day people just like me being told they don’t belong. It doesn’t mean I don’t work on the basic issues that we all struggle against — homophobia, heterosexism, classism, out-of-control oligarchy, racism, misogyny, this list in in no particular order and is by no means comprehensive. But I have found that I can be most effective if I focus, work towards understanding the deep issues that drive the problems that affect people who identify the same way that I have ever since I started to understand who I am. I find that I’m not a community organizer type of activist or a storm the capitol with a petition in one hand and a bullhorn in the other activist — I’m much better at poring over studies and writing long wall-o’-text articles and occasionally presenting what I’ve gleaned to groups of students until my voice is so hoarse that I can barely do more than croak.” So internet, and when I was still in school, a lot of on-campus stuff. Now I’m moving into a new phase where my activism is more subtle – I’m working as a therapist, and so my social justice lens informs my treatment, especially of bi and trans people.”

What made you get involved?

“I can’t not be.”

How do you feel about the state of bi activism worldwide (esp UK and USA) at the moment?

“I feel like we made a couple strides, and every time that happens the attacks renewed. I hionestly think the constant attempts to divide the bisexual community into ‘good pansexuals’ and ‘bad bisexuals’ and ‘holy no-labels’ is the thing that’s most likely to screw us.”

What’s causing you to feel disillusioned?  

“It is literally everywhere I turn – colleges redefining bisexuality on their LGBT Center pages, news articles quoting how ‘Bi=2 and pan=all therefore pan=better’, everybloodywhere I turn I see it every day. The word bi is being taken out of the names of organisations now, by the next group of up-and-comers who haven’t bothered to learn their history and understand that if you erase our past, you take away our present. Celebrities come out as No Label, wtf is that. Don’t they make kids read 1984 anymore? It’s gotten to the point now that even seeing the word pansexual in print triggers me. I’m reaching the point now that if someone really wants to be offended when all I am trying to do is welcome them on board, then I don’t have time for it.”

What do you want to say to other activists about this?

“Stay strong, and don’t give them a goddamned inch. I honestly think that the bi organizations – even, truth be told, the one I am with – are enabling this level of bullshit by attempting to be conciliatory, saying things that end up reinforcing the idea that bi and pan are separate communities. We try to be too careful not to offend anyone. Like the thing about Freddie Mercury. Gay people say ‘He was gay.’ Bi people say ‘Um, begging your pardon, good sirs and madams and gentlefolk of other genders, but Freddie was bi.’ And they respond ‘DON’T GIVE HIM A LABEL HE DIDN’T CLAIM WAAHHH WAAHHH!’ And yet… Freddie Mercury never used the label ‘gay’, but it’s OK when they do it. And he WAS bisexual by any measure you want to use. But we back down. And 2.5% of the bisexual population decides pansexual is a better word, and instead of educating them, we add ‘pan’ to our organisation names and descriptions. Now, this is clearly a dissenting view – I will always be part of a united front where my organization is concerned. But everyone knows how I feel, and I think it’s totally valid to be loyal and in dissent at the same time. Not exactly a typically American viewpoint, but everyone says I’d be a lot more at home in Britain than I am here anyway.”

4 notes · View notes

writingonjorvik · 4 years

Text

Can We Discuss Feminism? (pt. 3)

Back at it again with everyone’s favorite topic: Gender equality and the political mechanics that go into putting out positive media representations of it. Ok, no, but I am going to be talking about like, actually political topics in how feminism is divided and characterized with feminist history, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it! Just might be a bit of a history lesson too.

I want to start by addressing SSO’s very first statement on this matter, because I think it’s important. When SSO launched, they said they weren’t going to add male playable characters because they wanted to make a space for women. And I talked about this in my genderlocking piece, but that still strikes a cord with me and I think we need to have that discussion. It shouldn’t be the final discussion, but it should be a discussion.

Media predominantly is genderlocked to males. Typically when a game is genderlocked to women, it’s either for very young kids kids OR it’s lewded for the (largely) male audience. And so there is something to be said about SSO being a game that is unapologetically in the feminine aesthetic focused on being a game for all ages that is about women. And I think that the conversation needs to be had that it is almost always these games like SSO where we see outcry about genderlocking and the expectation to uphold gender equality, but not so for games targeted at the male audience, or at least not nearly as loudly. And yes, the feminist movement has been the leading proponent of gender equality for all genders, but the expectation for only products aimed largely at a female audience to be held to a fully gender equal standard is in it of itself a double standard that we need to address. And while I feel for trans-men and non-binary folx being misgendered in SSO, I do think we need to acknowledge that better and hold the whole industry to a better standard on the matter, not just games like SSO.

That said, ending the discussion there is second-wave feminism. We are in intersectional feminism and the end point of intersectional feminism IS that all genders need to be equally represented. And so where that discussion does need to be had, and I think SSO should push it, it can’t end there. SSO needs to move forward with including more gender options when they have their character remodel and it can’t include genderlocking, because all companies need to do this if they don’t have fixed characters you’re playing as. Gender identity is important, and even if they can’t do neo-pronouns yet because of translation issues, having at least she/he/they as options should be the baseline moving forward and we should make sure all companies are held to that standard.

That said, I want to be fair and present solutions that have reasonable production turnarounds for the near future. The player remodel is years in the works, longer for the more gender options you have. So what can SSO do now?

First of all, pronoun tags. Even if the model doesn’t get updated yet, adding customizable pronoun tags that you can change anytime you want for the PC and set for horses is an important start that relies on technology already in the game.

While they’re at it putting in the coding for quests and generally doing another pass on quests since recent retcons have cut some things and left a few quests feeling a little jarring, start seeding that being a Soul Rider is a position you can earn and it’s not limited to the four Soul Riders we know now. Have the narrative actively challenge the traditions of the Keepers into being more inclusive as a narrative that needs to happen on gender equality with kids and teens.

One big step in this direction would be to make Justin a Soul Rider when he goes to South Hoof and connects with the Singing Yew. Expand the understanding of magic and introduce these questions early enough on that we start questioning what it means to be a Soul Rider as the Keepers insist on the traditional Soul Rider unit and where magic comes from and then follow up by traveling with Justin as he comes to terms with his new powers and his relationship with his mother and his recent choices to be someone who does good and THAT’s what a Soul Rider is following the Catherine journals. Use this to support Concorde being a mare and that not just being a bad plot hole and talking about this being about the soul and dedication and not just destiny and genderlocks.

I’ve already talked about this, but it is so important to move away from the current Soul Riders and introduce new ones. I love the main four, but as long as they are so central to the plot, the Soul Riders remain this reminder of a traditional centralized female led group. So while they should remain active agents in the story, we need to move towards recruiting more characters of more gender identities and make them active agents central to the story.

Not to mention, breaking down the Soul Rider being a limited four person unit makes way more sense for an MMO narrative and it opens it up to telling stories with your friends and other players in game without bending over backwards with canon. So like, by making these changes not only to you become more inclusive, but you also set up the groundwork for better game design in a multiplayer aspect.

I think the last easy thing SSO could do is add a choice of head accessory the player gets for free at the start of the game. None of these items give stats anyway, so it’s just a choice of a free option until the player models are redone. This way instead of just the helmet, players could choose between a pair of glasses, a head scarf, a hearing aid, a beard, and a mustache. All of these options should be free to pick up in Moorland so you can double/if you missed out, you can get them. But it’s a free way to add basic customization for people of multiple different walks with features mostly already in the game. Combined with pronouns, it’s a solution SSO could implement now to the game without a lot of coding.

And that’s everything for now. This topic is always going to be dynamic but it’s important to be had. Just be practical with the implication. Some of these are easier to add than others. An accessory shop could probably be added in a month using assets already in the game, but even updating pronouns would take months on the low end. Not to mention going back through the whole story to seed other gender changes. Push for change, always, but try to give steps that are achievable in the meantime.

#sso #star stable #starstable #star stable online #starstableonline #woj analysis

27 notes · View notes

longgae · 3 years

Text

11 celebrities who've been called out for homophobic comments

This is gonna be interesting...

1. In 2020, Twitter users accused J.K. Rowling of transphobia after comments she made on Twitter. Rowling tweeted, "'People who menstruate.' I'm sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?" Fans on social media quickly told the writer she was not being inclusive to the transgender community. Rowling backed up her statement by tweeting, "I respect every trans person's right to live any way that feels authentic and comfortable to them. I'd march with you if you were discriminated against on the basis of being trans. At the same time, my life has been shaped by being female. I do not believe it's hateful to say so." She also said, "I want trans women to be safe. At the same time, I do not want to make natal girls and women less safe. When you throw open the doors of bathrooms and changing rooms to any man who believes or feels he's a woman – and, as I've said, gender confirmation certificates may now be granted without any need for surgery or hormones – then you open the door to any and all men who wish to come inside. That is the simple truth."

2. Kevin Hart stepped down from hosting the Academy Awards after his old homophobic comments surfaced, saying, "I am evolving and want to continue to do so."

Between 2009 and 2010, Kevin Hart made insensitive jokes on Twitter and in his standup specials. For example, in one tweet, the comedian said he would break a dollhouse over his son's head if it turned out he was gay. In his 2010 special, "Seriously Funny," he reiterated the point that he would act abusively if his son was gay. "I wouldn't tell that joke today, because when I said it, the times weren't as sensitive as they are now," Hart later told Rolling Stone. "I think we love to make big deals out of things that aren't necessarily big deals, because we can. These things become public spectacles. So why set yourself up for failure?" When it was announced that Hart was going to be the host of the Oscars in 2018, his past jokes resurfaced. After backlash from the public, Hart stepped down as host. "I have made the choice to step down from hosting this year's Oscar's....this is because I do not want to be a distraction on a night that should be celebrated by so many amazing talented artists," he wrote in a tweet. "I sincerely apologize to the LGBTQ community for my insensitive words from my past … I am evolving and want to continue to do so. My goal is to bring people together not tear us apart."

3. After Paris Hilton was caught criticizing the gay community in an audio recording, she apologized, saying, "Gay people are the strongest and most inspiring people I know." In 2012, an audio recording of Paris Hilton in a taxi cab was leaked. According to reports, she was in the car with a gay man who was showing her the gay dating app, Grindr. In the audio, you can hear Hilton say, "Gay guys are the horniest people in the world. They're disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS. ... I would be so scared if I were a gay guy. You'll like, die of AIDS." Her publicist confirmed that the recording was in fact Hilton but emphasized the socialite was not homophobic. (Are they sure about this? God...) In an apology statement, Hilton said, "I am so sorry and so upset that I caused pain to my gay friends, fans, and their families. Gay people are the strongest and most inspiring people I know."

4. After a member of the audience called out Tracy Morgan for his homophobic remarks during a standup set, the comedian apologized. In 2011, a man chronicled Tracy Morgan's standup set in Nashville on Facebook. In the post, the man said Morgan said being gay is a choice because "God makes no mistakes." The comedian also allegedly said he would stab his son if he came out as gay. (Kevin Hart, you here?) After backlash and a half-hearted apology on "Late Show with David Letterman," Morgan issued an official apology. "I want to apologize to my fans and the gay & lesbian community for my choice of words at my recent stand-up act in Nashville," he said. "I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others. While I am an equal opportunity jokester, and my friends know what is in my heart, even in a comedy club this clearly went too far and was not funny in any context." (Good sir. There is more to LGBTQ+ then just gays and lesbians)

5. Sarah Silverman used a gay slur in a 2010 tweet. When asked about it in 2018, she said, "I'm certainly creative enough to think of other words besides that that don't hurt people." In 2010, Sarah Silverman tweeted, "I don't mean this in a hateful way but the new bachelorette's a f-----." Although the tweet went relatively unnoticed at the time, it picked up momentum again in 2018 when people pointed out that it was unfair for Kevin Hart to step down from hosting the Oscars for doing something similar. "Yea, I'm done with that," Silverman told TMZ when she was asked about it in 2018. "I think I can find other ways to be funny. I used to say 'gay' all the time like, 'That's so gay!' Because we're from Boston. We'd go, 'That's what you say in Boston. I have gay friends. I just say gay.' Then I heard myself, and I realized I was like the guy who'd say, 'What? I say colored. I have colored friends.' I realized it's stupid, and I'm certainly creative enough to think of other words besides that that don't hurt people. But I fuck up all the time."

6. Eminem has been criticized for using gay slurs in his songs, but he insists he isn't homophobic. In 2018, Eminem released his album, "Kamikaze." In one song titled "The Fall," he focuses on fellow rapper Tyler, The Creator. In the song, Eminem raps," "Tyler create nothin', I see why you called yourself a f----t, bitch." This wasn't the first time rapper had been criticized for using a gay slut. Throughout his career, he has used similar words in his songs and received a lot of criticism for it. Eminem, however, insists he is not homophobic. "The honest-to-God truth is that none of that matters to me: I have no issue with someone's sexuality, religion, race, none of that," the rapper told Vulture. "Anyone who's followed my music knows I'm against bullies — that's why I hate that f---ing bully Trump — and I hate the idea that a kid who's gay might get s--- for it."

7. Mel Gibson mocked how gay men act in the early '90s. While doing an interview in 2001 for Spanish newspaper El Pais, Gibson said, "With this look, who's going to think I'm gay? I don't lend myself to that type of confusion. Do I look like a homosexual? Do I talk like them? Do I move like them?" Throughout the '90s, GLAAD protested Gibson's films, but the actor refused to apologize. "I'll apologize when hell freeze over," he said. "They can f--- off."

8. Alec Baldwin went on a homophobic Twitter rant against a reporter he did not agree with. He later said his remarks were "in no way was the result of homophobia." In 2013, Daily Mail reporter George Stark wrote a story accusing Alec Baldwin's wife, Hilaria, of tweeting at James Gandolfini's funeral. Baldwin took to Twitter to express his anger at Stark, calling the reporter a "toxic little queen," among other comments. In an interview with the Gothamist after the incident, Baldwin stood by his decision to call the reporter a "queen." "The idea of me calling this guy a 'queen' and that being something that people thought is homophobic … a queen to me has a different meaning. It's somebody who's just above," he told the publication. "It doesn't have any necessarily sexual connotations," Baldwin said. "To me a queen ... I know women that act queeny, I know men that are straight that act queeny, and I know gay men that act queeny. It doesn't have to be a definite sexual connotation or a homophobic connotation." He later issued an official apology, according to The Hollywood Reporter. "My anger was directed at Mr. Stark for blatantly lying and disseminating libelous information about my wife and her conduct at our friend's funeral service. As someone who fights against homophobia, I apologize," Baldwin said. "I would not advocate violence against someone for being gay, and I hope that my friends at GLAAD and the gay community understand that my attack on Mr. Stark in no way was the result of homophobia."

9. Chris Brown also used homophobic language (no shockers there) when talking about another rapper, but he later said, "I love all my gay fans." In 2010, rapper Raz provoked Chris Brown when he tweeted about Brown's past assault on Rihanna. Brown responded by attacking Raz on Twitter, referencing the fact that Raz was molested by another man as a child and calling him a "#homothug." "I'm not homophobic! He's just disrespectful," Brown tweeted later. "BTW…I love all my gay fans and this immature act is not targeted at you!!!! Love."

10. Azealia Banks has a long history of problematic comments, but she has since said she will no longer use gay slurs. In 2015, singer Azealia Banks was caught on camera yelling at a flight attendant after getting into a fight with a fellow passenger. In the video, you can hear Banks call the flight attendant a gay slur, according to HuffPost.She later tweeted about the incident, writing, "I don't care. I've said it before and I'll say it again."Banks' history with the word doesn't stop there. In 2016, she used the word to attack fellow singer Zayn Malik on Twitter, leading to the deactivation of her account. She has also called the LGBTQ community "the gay white KKK. Get some pink hoods and unicorns and rally down rodeo drive."In 2016, however, she announced she is never using the gay slur again. "The amount of people that get hurt when I use the word vs. the amount of people I've said it to are just not worth it," she wrote on Facebook. "Honestly... This isn't a cop-out, it's just me realizing that words hurt. and while I may be immune to every word and be thicker skinned than most, it doesn't mean that I get to go around treating people with the same toughness that made my skin so thick."

11. Drake Bell received backlash after posting a transphobic tweet. He later called the remarks "thoughtless." When Caitlin Jenner came out as transgender in 2015, Nickelodeon actor and singer Drake Bell tweeted, "Sorry...still calling you Bruce." After receiving backlash, he deleted the tweet and then posted another, misgendering Jenner. "I'm not dissing him! I just don't want to forget his legacy! He is the greatest athlete of all time," Bell tweeted. "Chill out!" After that, he tweeted out an apology. "I sincerely apologize for my thoughtless insensitive remarks," Bell wrote. "I in no way meant to hurt or demean those going through a similar journey. Although my comments were made in innocence, I deeply regret the negative effect they've had on so many."

Here are some tweets that were mentioned earlier (I couldn't find all of them)

So... yeah

2 notes · View notes

childreportsforyou · 3 years

Text

Malia Baker is Using Her Platform to End Gender-Based Violence

The 2020 Voices of the Year recipient talks to Seventeen about gender-based violence, climate change, and the Black Lives Matter movement.

When Malia Baker, 13, was younger, she was targeted for being Black. "I decided I no longer wanted to stay silent," she told Seventeen. So, the actress decided to write her story down, in order to share it in a book. Then, something unprecedented happened, and Malia got the attention of hundreds of thousands and a platform she never imagined thanks to her starring role in Netflix's The Baby-Sitters Club. Now, Malia uses her voice to speak out about the issues she cares about, including women's equality, gender-based violence, racism, and climate change. While she admits activism can sometimes be draining, she knows how important it is to keep going and continue the fight for what's right. "Even if I have only a little hand in making this world a little bit better, then I’m going to try my best to do so."

What issues are you passionate about?

Yes, there is definitely more than one issue I care deeply about, and for so many reasons. There is not one place in the world where women are equal in all aspects of life, and that sentiment in itself should tell you so much about our world and why there is a need for change. In particular, I think of the young girls around the world who are faced with horrific cultural norms, like genital mutilation or child marriage. I use my voice for the girls who are stripped of the opportunity to speak out for themselves. I have the privilege of being able to safely use my voice to speak out and thus I feel it is my obligation to do so.

I want to see a day where gender-based violence is no longer something girls and women have to fear. As a young woman, I feel I am educated differently than my male peers and the onus is still on us to keep ourselves safe rather than including boys and men in the conversation to evoke real change. I don't want my younger sister to be afraid to walk down a street by herself at any point in her life, so I fight for this change.

I feel it is so important to support all of my sisters in this world, no matter our differences. We already have so many adversities to battle, why should we fight against one another on top of that? The division between women goes back so far, and is still paramount today. Trans women, Black women, women of color, and especially, Indigenous women, continue to be impacted disproportionately. Although we all have our own experiences as a result of who we uniquely are, it is imperative that we continue the fight for equality as co-conspirators in this revolution.

Colorism and racism is an issue I’m also trying to dismantle. As a young Black girl in a mainly white suburban town, I have had my fair share of experiences with this topic. I want to use my voice on this issue, not just for my younger self, but for BIPOC youths who are going through the same struggles. I feel that these issues are automatically my responsibility to speak on because I have lived through them, and these are my brothers and sisters crying in the streets. To give them justice, I shall say their names while gaining a stronger platform.

An extension of the subject of racism is our environment and how systemic racism has played a role in addressing climate change. I feel just as passionate towards the fight for climate change because of its direct impact on all of us now and in the near future. I’m terrified for our future and for future generations because most of the people who are in charge today are putting economics ahead of the real changes that need to be made.

I truly believe our voices matter. When we are heard is when the real change begins to happen. I am so thankful for those that have walked before me, leading the way for change and I plan on continuing to walk in these steps.

What work have you done in the fight for change?

I actively speak about the issues I care for across my social platforms. I show up in real, everyday, life by speaking up, sending emails, signing petitions, doing my research and sharing my story. I feel like today, with how fast technology moves, I can raise awareness on these issues so much faster, which I love. What I don’t love is how fast false information can spread as well. Before posting anything, I do my research and try to include all of the resources in my post so it's easier for people to do their own research too. I have been given the opportunity to speak at organizations like GirlUp, Zahara’s Dream, and the Boys and Girls Club of Metro Atlanta. These opportunities are so amazing and important because they provide me with the opportunity to spread the word on various platforms to get it out even more. I recently spoke at a rally which my mom and some other local women helped organize for Black Lives Matter. I gave a speech as a Black youth and discussed my experiences with racism, I stood in front of hundreds of people. That was the first time I spoke in public with my very personal story and it definitely won't be the last.

This content is imported from Instagram. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site.

1 note · View note