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muneca-lemon-steppa · 7 months

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Interviews for New Beginnings: Part 1

Alfie Solomons x Fem!Reader, Fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Swearing, Period Era Sexism

A/N: Hi guys! This is my first fic in over a year, but I dont know I just wanted to have fun! Also lets be real... i needed these ideas out of my head. Please enjoy, have fun! Have an amazing rest of your day! Hi everyone!!! So this became a multi chapter story! This has been so much fun and I am so excited to see where this story goes! If you are interested in continuing this story, go to my tags and click ‘Interviews for New Beginnings’ there all parts will be together! Eventually I’ll put together a master list for it! Love you guys so much, I’m so glad you guys are having fun!!

You had heard about this job from your cousin Eli. And maybe that should’ve been the first clue that perhaps this may not have been a completely legal or safe or upstanding or above the table or whatever good adjective your parents could come up with position. But you had told Eli that you needed a job! And he did find you one! And your parents should be overjoyed that you will be working in the same “bakery” as a male cousin. It’s not proper for a woman to be working without a family member’s presence… especially where there are other men in the office.

“When you go in there be sure to look strong, but not too strong, emphasize that you’re docile and you want to please him.” Eli had been quizzing you about your skill sets and how you were to behave in the interview the entire walk to “The Bakery”. And while Eli was so sweet and more of a brother than a cousin… you couldn’t keep your irritation at bay.

“Tell me Eli… am I interviewing for the position of personal secretary or personal wh-“

“And don’t be so quick with that mouth of yours! Listen… Mr. Solomons is one of the most important men in Camden. This could be a really big opportunity for you. Being the personal secretary of one of the biggest names in the city can give you a steady income and some real independence! But that means you can’t be so…”

“Myself?” You say with a cocked brow and a bumped hip.

Eli’s eyes lit up as if a child he had been teaching finally understood arithmetic, “yes! Yes exactly! Listen while you’re in front of Mr. Solomons, it’s ‘yes sir’ and no questions asked. Got it?”

You sigh and roll your eyes. It felt like you had had this conversation so many times in different ways. Why did your parents care to educate you so much if you weren’t allowed to use your mind? You had asked your father many times, if God gave you a mouth and brain, why shouldn’t you be allowed to use them? And he was never really able to answer beyond a couple phrases talking about the ‘role of women’. You had just been fired from a doctor’s office due to talking back to an unruly patient. Truthfully, this was your last shot to get real independence. It was either this job… or letting your parents begin the process of finding a husband.

You finally reach the door of the bakery, and Eli turns you toward him to fix your hair and straighten your sweater, “Ok ok. Here we are dearest. Now just follow me, don’t make eye contact with everyone and just… be good.”

You chuckle out a, “Yes mum.”

With a laugh he shoves your arm, and gives his name to the young man standing by the door. With a nod he opens the door and lets you in, quickly following Eli’s steps.

While Eli said you couldn’t make eye contact with anyone he never said you couldn’t look at the bakery. It didn’t take you long to notice that while all the men were wearing aprons… there was a distinct lack of… bread… or anything to do with bread. Soon after this you began to feel that memorable tickle in your nose. Rum you thought to yourself. With a smirk you ran up behind Eli and whispered, “Wow quite the bakery Eli. Does the family know about your little rum house job?”

His face was pale, and he was clearly in no mood to joke. With a huff you returned to your previous pace, and you see that the office is just ahead.

Suddenly you feel the flush in your neck, and begin to steel yourself. You had of course heard about Mr. Alfred Solomons. The King of Camden. The Brave War Captain turned Ruthless Gangster. Eli was not kidding when he said that Mr. Solomons was one of the most important people in the city. He ruled the community. This was not the time and place for your mouth to act up. This was the time to behave and play it safe.

Eli rapped the door of the private office gently, and was met with a gruff, "What now!?"

Eli with a shaking hand opened the door, "Mr. Solomons? It's me Eli I..."

"What the fuck do you want eh? Come on now yeah you interrupt me and just stand there acting like you've been struck dumb by God. Come on!!"

Eli kept stammering, basically useless, so you stepped up, "Mr. Solomons, I'm Eli's cousin. I'm here for the secretary position."

Mr. Solomons eyebrows furrowed, looking you up and down. You couldn't help but feel like a child in front of his stare. Fiery, discerning, and just plain terrifying. "You said you're here for what?"

"The secretary position. My cousin said you were in need of a secretary."

Mr. Solomons looked at Eli and looked at you, "And you think you're qualified for a secretary position?"

The heat in your chest started to grow. And you could feel your temper begging to be let out. But you had to make a good impression. You needed this job. You needed to be sweet and to behave.

You nodded, "Yes sir, I can assure you I am I-"

"I'm sorry treacle but this simply will not do." Mr. Solomons cut you off. "What I am doing here right? I'm running a legitimate business. I am running something very difficult that little girls like you simply could not deal with yeah? Now run along and go do whatever young girls do yeah?"

"Mr. Solomons I-"

"Treacle now you're making me a little frustrated right, I said run along now."

You could feel the heat rising and rising, and Eli tugging at your sleeve, "Mr. Solomons if you will just listen-"

Mr. Solomons rose from his desk, "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I SAID LEAVE."

"I AM YOUR NEW SECRETARY DAMNIT."

The room went silent. The entire bakery went silent. And from the corner of your eye you can see different men pausing, waiting to see what would happen next.

Alfred Solomons, for the first time in his life, was left speechless. The last woman who had yelled at him was his mother. Usually, women run and hide from him upon the first interaction. Men have wet themselves from his bellowing. Yet... this little woman is standing here, screaming at him, demanding to be heard. He did not know what to do, he could only stare at her.

You tried to be good. You really did try! But it was too late now. Mr. Solomons was just staring at you, and you had a point to make.

"Mr. Solomons, I am the most capable secretary that you will ever have walk through these doors. I am fluent in Russian, Yiddish, Hebrew, and French. Not only can I read and write, I was the best in my class in maths. I am a damn good baker, though clearly you do not need my services there. I am incredibly punctual and polite and am able to talk to anyone. And to top it all off, I make a very good cup of tea. Now I put on my best dress and shoes and I walked 45 minutes to get to your ridiculous office and I will be damned if I will leave here without a job! Do I have your attention now sir?"

While you were speaking Alfred Solomons had slowly lowered himself into his seat, with a smile on his face. He was stroking his beard, considering your fiery eyes, and the shape of your lips while you yelled at him. He began to laugh to himself, "Come sit down treacle. Eli, get the fuck out, stand by the door."

You turned to look at your cousin, but he had already closed the door behind him. You walked to the desk where Mr. Solomons was sitting, and took a seat directly in front of him. Where he had been leaning back in his chair, he was now leaning forward on the desk, resting on his elbows on top of a thick layer of papers. His eyes twinkled, and a handsome smirk played on his lips. Your rage was still simmering, and it was hating you for staring at those eyes.

"You can read and write?"

"Yes."

"How fast can you type?"

"80 words per minute."

"You're good at math?"

"You want to put a slate in front of me and have me recite a King's speech as well Mr. Solomons?"

He barked out a laugh, "Fuck me. You've got a sharp tongue on you don't you?"

"I have language why not use it."

"Fucking hell...alright listen here you little viper. I want you here every morning at 8 o'clock. Ready to work. You will have many a late night in this job. You will be my personal secretary, which means when I say "come here", I better see you before I finish that sentence. You'll need to write letters for me as well as manage my meetings alright? You will be my shadow. Any questions?"

"What is my salary?"

He paused, staring at you, seemingly trying to see how low you would take, "4 pounds a week."

"6"

"Good Lord what do you need 6 pounds a week for? 4 and a half and thats generous."

"Mr. Solomons I'm not stupid I know what you do. You need me. You want to become a respectable businessman you need someone like me to make sure your affairs are in order. I know you are working with many different people, and you need my abilities. I am the best you will ever have. 5 and a half."

Alfred keeps stroking his beard...wondering how the hell Eli could be related to someone so strong... and how much it was going to cost to keep you, "5 pounds a week. And I will give you a Hanukkah bonus."

"...And Rosh Hoshannah off."

"Done."

You stood to shake his hand, firmly, though he kept smirking as he shook yours. "Alright my little viper, I will see you tomorrow. Bring ink and a notebook. We start at 8."

"Thank you Mr. Solomons. You won't regret this!"

"Alfie. You will call me Alfie from now on."

The way he said it while staring into your eyes brought a heat to your cheeks, and you prayed that he couldn't see any change in your demeanor. "Alfie." You whispered as you nodded and walked away.

He couldn't help but linger there in that moment, watching you walk away, speaking animatedly with Eli. Never had he ever felt so... struck by a woman before. He had women before of course, but no woman had captivated him the way you just did. He needed you. He needed you with him, in any way that you allowed him to have you near. Maybe this was a mistake, but he highly doubted it. How could a mistake be so beautiful?

"OLLIE!" He yelled, "WE NEED A DESK AND CHAIR NOW!"

#alfie solomons x reader #alfred solomons #alfie solomons #alfie solomons x y/n #alfie solomons x you #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders #this is my new hyperfixation #i just love him #daddy i love him #Interviews for New Beginnings

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mikaela-the-slut-expert · 3 months

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Hello,so i've been brainrotting about Pei ming genuinely falling in love with f!reader,but the reader always ignored him since he is known for using women for fun,but he just keeps trying so hard to win reader over and prove he's actually inlove with them. It would be great if you could write this in hcs,you can ignore this if you dont want to

I Have Standards

Pei Ming x F!reader

Do you know how long I had to search the gifs for him?

____________________________________

Pei Ming is a womanizer everyone knows that

But Pei Ming genuinely has found an interest in you. Truthfully!

You intrigue him, however you also ignore him

So he hasn't been able to get far in his affections

Most women don't ignore him like this you know?

Pei Ming has been chasing you around like a lost dog, trying to prove his love to you

He's tried to woo you, give you flowers, buy you expensive things, take you out

But no you ignore him gracefully as if he were your fan

This man is genuinely confused. Like??? Why is she ignoring me ugh I got to step up my game I guess

Doesn't realize it's because of his reputation until Ling Wen tells him

Which she only did, because he wouldn't stop bitching in her ear about how his lovely crush won't bat an eyelash at him.

She wishes you the best of luck

Now that he knows the problem lies within his reputation he doesn't know how to fix that. . .

How does one go back and fix the past?

Ling Wen tells him he's stupid and maybe he should try to clean up his act. Then you'll look at him.

So that's what he attempts to do.

He should've done that in the first place but like he's trying okay?

Pei Ming really isn't all that bad, he just needs to get you to actually talk to him now.

Asks Ling Wen how he's supposed to sit down with you and she sends him right to your door.

Ling Wen is probably the only reason you guys have a chance of being together because she paid you off to deal with him.

She's sick of it

You stay true to your word though and give him a chance to woo you.

You sit in your palace lounge with crossed legs.

You aren't expecting anything heart felt

However you sit with wide eyes when Pei Ming pours his heart out to you.

Pei Ming practiced this speech like several times.

"I know I don't have the best reputation with women, but if you could give me a chance I promise to treat you right and not throw you to the side like rumours say I would"

Etc, etc

Okay so you're woo'd

Do you know what time period it is? Especially as a women?

All men are too afraid of their feelings and some are too busy being gay with each other cough, cough Xie Lian.

It just doesn't leave a girl like you many options

But you do like Pei Ming you've just never told him because of the whole reputation thing

You've been quiet for a long time, Pei Ming almost thinks you're going to say no.

Very happy when you say yes!

Astounded when you say you'll castrate him if he does you wrong.

He'll accept that!

____________________________________

I hope I wasn't rambling 😞 but yip yip guys 🖤

#tgcf #tgcf headcanon #pei ming x reader #pei ming #mxtx tgcf #mxtx

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millionsvash · 11 months

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Hey I have an angst for you!!! Vash's s/o being sweeter and more doting than normal (they're sweet to him generally but now they've just cranked it up to 12) and when he confronts them about it, they say "I dont want you to leave me" Turns out they're very insecure and are trying to "give him better reasons to stay."

I hope this is to your liking! TW: Anxiety, self image issues.

Vash’s eyes carefully scanned over the contents delicately arranged before him. A 12-pack of donuts, a case of locally brewed beer from his favorite shop, and his favorite meal cooked exactly how he liked it. He’d never question this show of affection from you most days, but things have changed.

For weeks now, you’ve grown more affectionate towards the gunman. It began with words of affection, reminding him constantly that you loved him. From there, words turned into actions. Most nights, you were clinging to him in bed. While he was all for the comfort of physical affection, it began to become suffocating.

He hadn’t thought about it at first, but standing before this selection of offerings, his mind began to piece it together. It’s been a month since the two of you visited his favorite bar. He knew everyone there. Despite his infamous reputation and substantial bounty, his knack for thwarting large bar fights had earned him the gratitude of the owner.

There was a particular barmaid who had taken quite a liking to Vash. Despite Vash consistently rejecting her advances, she was as persistent as ever, only stopping her incessant pestering when you were around. Vash had told you of her actions straight away the first time she attempted to make a move. He wanted to be transparent with you. Of course, you had nothing but faith in Vash, but many could mistake his kind manner of speaking for flirting. The first time she openly flirted with Vash in front of you, you were left with a pit in your stomach that never seemed to go away.

You can’t count on your fingers the number of hearts Vash had to break when he informed an admirer that he was happily taken. It’s happened so much, the two of you have jokingly agreed he should wear a shirt with "taken" written in bold letters.

It had been funny at first, but over time it began to build insecurities inside of you. In your opinion, many of those who approached him were better-looking than you. The spiral downward was fast. It festered into a voice that nipped at your brain at all hours of the day.

Vash had noticed a plethora of new behaviors that emerged in a short period of time. You had begun to actively avoid mirrors; you’d become interested in cosmetics despite having no desire originally; and you were dressing up whenever you two would leave together, even for the smallest thing. You were buttering him up with words, agreeing to all forms of intimacy whenever he asked, suggesting to do things you knew he specifically liked every day.

Vash’s eyes moved from the delicacies in front of him to lock eyes with you. He could tell that smile on your face was fake. Truthfully, you were terrified he wouldn't be interested in what you gave him. Strong hands grab both your shoulders firmly, blue eyes staring a hole through you.

"I can’t take this anymore. Something is wrong; you’re hiding something from me." His voice was firm and assertive, but it still held care. "In just one month, you’ve changed as a person. It’s like you’re an entirely new person, and I hate it." There was a light crack in his voice. Perhaps it had been slowly eating at him too. "Please…just tell me what’s wrong."

All it took were those last 5 words to reach your ears for you to turn into a sobbing disaster. In the back of your mind, you had been silently praying that Vash would speak up about it. Too afraid to be open with him and too afraid to reach out for help, you had been suffering in silence for the past month. Tears flooded your eyes, blurring your vision of the blonde standing in front of you.

In an instant, he had pulled you against his large frame, wrapping his arms around you and resting his hands against the small of your back. You felt his chin rest upon your head, only moving once to place a soft kiss. The two of you remained this way as your tears washed away a month of suffering in silence.

"I’m scared." You say it to him in a soft, airy voice. You are still attempting to choke back your tears.

"Scared of what? Has someone threatened you? Did someone do something to you? Please, tell me." His grip on you gets ever-so-gently tighter, giving you a soft squeeze. "No…I’m scared of being alone."

Vash is taken aback by your words. "Alone? You’re not alone. I’m right here! You know I’m always here." There was a soft chuckle in his words, and you could tell he wasn’t entirely understanding what you meant.

"It’s only a matter of time before you find someone better than me." Just saying those words felt like a knife was being stabbed into your chest. "I’m…average. There’s nothing about me that stands out above the competition." You continue to speak after taking a large breath. "One day, you’ll find someone better…and I’ll be alone again." You finally gather the courage to look Vash in the eyes.

You regretted that instantly. You made him cry. You could see the tears forming in his eyes, threatening to drip down his cheeks. You felt like such an asshole. You keep thinking you should’ve just kept it to yourself.

"Vash, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sa—"

"Don’t ever say that again." You flinch at the sharpness of his voice. "Don't ever think of yourself like that." His tone softens immediately upon your reaction. "You are the best to me. You don’t stand out above the competition because there is no competition. Everything about you is perfect." His hands move to grip your shoulders, locking you in place.

"Vash, I–" You try to stammer out words, but he doesn’t let you get a word in.

"You have the most amazing laugh. It lights up the whole room when you do. Your smile is like a warm hug. The compassion and kindness you have in your heart for every person in this world is unrivaled. You are a gift to everyone you meet." You can feel his hands trembling as he holds your shoulders. "You’re a gift to me…"

Those tears in his eyes finally fell down his face. He can’t hold back his emotions. Hearing you speak so negatively about yourself was like a punch to the gut.

"I will never leave you."

As your own tears return to soak your cheeks, the two of you grasp each other in a tight embrace. You allow yourselves to cry because even if the world were against the both of you, you’d always have each other.

#trigun #trigun stampede #vash #vash the stampede #Vash x Reader #Vash the Stamede x Reader #Vash x You #Trigun x Reader #trigun fanfic #breakfast is served!

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harlowcomehome · 2 years

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can u write something like reader and jack get into an argument bcz they dont have same boundaries about the kids, like, girls would only ask jack for some things bcs they know reader would say no, and reader finds out and asks jack abt :)

love u and ur writing sm <3

“Boundaries”

A/N: I feel like I slightly changed the concept, I hope you still like it. Sorry it took so long!

When it came to parenting, you and Jack agreed on a lot but there were also things that caused tension from time to time.Jack wasn’t really into routine, so much of his life had been scheduled out for him that he wasn’t big on having to “police his children.” He was often times the lenient parent, and you were the one who laid down the rules, but at least when he was home he could pretend to encourage your rules.

You both had been working a lot more lately, meaning the girls were being parented by a single one of you during some periods of time.

When Jack was away doing business the kids usually gave you a bit of a hard time, which of course made you stress out and slightly grumpy. When he was home you usually convinced him to back you up, and have a little more structure but when he was alone with the girls, he was more focused on being the “fun” parent.

Hazel was your firecracker, spitting image of her father and an attitude like yours. She sure as hell made your life interesting to say the least. It just wasn’t the most fun for you have to constantly be the disciplinary when Jack was away from home. Truthfully, they just werent’ that scared of you.

Jade was usually your quite child, she was a lot shyer and followed directions most times, but when Hazel was acting up, she followed right behind her.

Today, today was a really hard day.

It started at breakfast, you wanted the girls to eat at the table but Hazel insisted that Jack lets them eat on the couch and watch television. You acknowledged that sometimes that was alright but today you were asking that they eat at the table with you. Hazel groaned and Jade mimicked her, they sat at the table with you but not happily.

Later on that day you asked the girls to complete their “chores” for the day, which were always basic things for their age. Hazel told you Jack usually just did it for them and when you told her you weren’t asking, you were telling her to do it, both her and Jade had temper tantrum‘s.

You tried to get the girls into bed at a reasonable time but nothing went according to plan, much like the rest of the day.

Hazel shouted “daddy wouldn’t make us go to bed” and that was your last straw, you raised your voice causing both of your girls to cry themselves to sleep, thus making you feel like the worst parent alive.

When Jack came home that night, you were in tears, which of course alarmed him immediately. “Babe, what’s going on?” He dropped his bags off near the door and embraced you immediately.

Before you could speak to him both of your girls were quickly by his side, it shouldn’t have annoyed you but it did. You assumed they woke up when he dropped his bags on the ground.

You took a deep breath, stopped, turned around and quietly went to the bedroom and slammed the door. Jack was confused but walked both girls back to bed before checking up on you.

You were in bed sobbing, you were exhausted and just frustrated from todays events. Jack walked over to you and held on to you “what’s going on?”

“The girls hate me, I mean they really hate me” you breathed between sobs.

“They do not hate you, that’s dramatic” he shook his head at you, clearly annoyed by what you said.

You shook your head and turned over in bed “just shower so you can go to bed.”

“Hey, why are you shutting down? What happened today?” He rubbed your tense shoulders and you shrugged.

“Baby, come on” he groaned and you sat up looking at him.

“Jack we have to get on the same page about our parenting” you pouted, wiping the tears that were continuously flowing down your cheeks.

“I thought we were?” He said defensively and you continued to cry. “Jack, I have no energy to argue with you tonight so if that’s what this is going to turn into I’m done.”

“You’re the one who sounds like you want to argue, I’m just trying to get you to communicate with me” he laughed annoyed.

“Stop acting like that please” you breathed out shakily.

Jack nodded noticing your eyes were glossy and your face was bright red “just tell me what you’re upset about babe, please” he reached out for your hand.

You sighed taking his hand “you know what I heard over and over and over again today? Daddy wouldn’t make us blah blah daddy would do this blah blah” you cried “you always make me out to be the bad guy.”

“I make you out to be the bad guy?” He raised an eyebrow at that.

“We have to be united on this parenting stuff or they are going to favor one of us over the other” you said shakily.

Jack was obviously annoyed, which broke your heart, you wanted him to be supportive but you were afraid that everything you said hadn’t registered.

“Fuck it, goodnight” you said rolling over in bed and Jack knew you were done talking to him for real this time. He groaned while getting up and starting a shower.

He took a long shower before he crawled into bed next to you, he could faintly hear you trying to cry quietly.

“Baby” he pulled you into his chest and you turned to face him, only to cry into his chest.

“Can I explain myself to you?”

You nodded, not able to form words.

“My entire life has been about structure. When I was a kid, I grew up with a lot of rules and a schedule to follow. Then when I started in the industry, I had to constantly work a schedule, a tight one at that so I guess….” He paused to make sure you were listening and you looked up at him and nodded for him to continue.

“I guess, I just wanted the girls to have a little more freedom” he hummed.

“I get that, I do. I want them to be kids for as long as possible but the only way we can continue to run smoothly as a family is if were on the same page” you sniffled and he kissed the top of your head.

“I agree baby.”

You leaned up and kissed him “that’s all I needed to hear.”

He kissed you back “I’m sorry you had such a hard day with the girls though.”

You laughed a little at that, “it’s fine. I love my little bratty babies.” He laughed too and gave you a much needed squeeze.

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow blurb #jack harlow imagines #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow fanfic #dad!jack

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cybermeep · 2 months

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as to not taint the humor of the millipede post, i say this separately and as its own sort of weird entry thing; today was not all that nice. if you somehow wish to read emotional ramblings then feel free below i suppose. this will all probably be very embarrassing & stupid & gone at a certain point

at first, it seemed to be fine; by all accounts, i felt normal. i was happy, content, neutral, what have you. near the end of first period, i felt a sudden and all encompassing sort of emotional pain which is hard to explain besides a knife in ones gut. i try to shrug it off, go back to normal; i listen to instructions of my teacher before i ask to sit outside. i proceed to bawl my eyes out silently.

and you may ask, WHY? and i ask the exact same thing! i have no clue why i suddenly break down like this, but i do, and its heavy and uncomfortable. i sob out of both guilt and intense emotions unable to be placed anywhere definitively. i sob because i don’t know what else to do, as trying to hold my emotions in has seemingly only made me sick thus far in the day.

i continue to cry for an uncomfortable amount of time i won’t disclose. a teacher who i enjoy greatly sits beside me in the hall; without even having to say the words aloud, i answer him. i talk quietly of things i remember and talk of how upset i feel; not mad upset, but sad upset. he seems confused on what too much of something would be. ive been wondering this for months. he asks if it was possibly seen as something more intimate. i say this could be likely and i feel far worse; i feel awful, actually. he runs off because hes a busy man. i think about our conversation and i feel overwhelmingly distressed. i feel sick. i feel as if ive ruined everything by accidentally implying something different then what i may mean. i dont enjoy the vague way certain events occur. i hate being vague, i hate not being able to read between the lines of things; vagueness scares me to a point of distress and acute worry, which is probably hypocritical.

i have to resort to one of the stupidest things ive imagined in a long time in order to not feel the overwhelming & all encompassing feeling of wanting to [REDACTED]; imagining myself as stanley from the stanley parable and being lectured about how this action would quote make the timeline collapse in on itself or quote ruin the game by the narrator. i can imagine his voice clearly in my mind saying STANLEY, YOU CAN’T SELF-IMMOLATE STANLEY, THAT WOULD RUIN EVERYTHING WE WORKED FOR! something stupid like that. its odd that it helped.

i was fine, although i then proceeded to not be fine. got asked if i was okay. answered truthfully and said no. an acquaintance prompted me to talk about it with her, then simply.. left. had to find the girl she enjoys being with. she said she would find me later and talk about it; i really didn’t want to talk about it. i moved to put on my headphones then realized it was stupid & was already on the verge of tears again at simply the discussion from before & feeling like a circus animal being heavily scrutinized and laughed at under intense gaze. i get to class but i am overwhelmingly unable to do anything but cry.

i get to go to the library, but at the detriment to my friends. i text one and tell her i won’t be at lunch as im dealing with emotional distress and don’t want to quote, be a debbie downer. i am saddened at my actions; i wish i would’ve just went and talked with them, but i also don’t wish that i did because i hate distressing those i care about. i didn’t want to put more on my friends plates. i’d deal with it myself

of course, nothing is ever sound & calm for long; the area which i feel comfortable crying in is overtaken and i move uncomfortably. i am asked if im okay. i lie blatantly to a girl ive known as an acquaintance for years. i feel bad for lying; i don’t want her to worry about me. it wasn’t important, anyway. eventually i regain my composure and get back to class. it ends and i move on; as per usual, my mood fluctuates and i soon find myself worried sick and leaving her classroom.

i stay after although i know the chess club is cancelled for this week. i don’t like the change. its not as if im mad at the change, i just so desperately wanted to believe the days i dealt with before actually still accumulated to something i enjoyed. now the one thing i enjoy is off to not occur for next week, either; giving me very little to look forward to, if anything

i sit in the airlock. i write in my notebook a list of things someone would do before self-immolation. hypothetically, of course. maybe four or five things on it are actually things one would care about. one is to play a DLC, another is to finish a novel; one is to stay in order to see the cicadas arrive & to visit the cemetery in the spring like someone (fine, me!) mentioned weeks back that i wanted to do. its uncomfortable how the novel i enjoyed dearly was not one of the important things on the list.

it takes quite a lot to kill me, i think. kind of like a tick.

i’ll be fine; i always am. i think ive gotten better. im slowly feeling more and more sane again, although the stress puke is still prevalent. as ive lived on, its gone down to a point where i just gag; don’t puke. i enjoy documenting when i do feel things like this, strangely enough. having an archive of my life makes me feel sane. its also interesting to look back on.

thanks if you read this somehow, even after the warning of how stupid it would be. i appreciate you, hypothetical reader. i enjoy your hypothetical quiet company

#cybers tangents

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scratchtherecordhomestuck · 5 months

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why is he such a meanie about the harlquins. theyre delightful.

ikr.. i like the harlequins :(

You just don't get it i need this man. Hes so supportive. And wonderful.

Just admit youre down bad and get it over with

YOU DONT GET IT.

if he doesn't want it just give it to me T_T i'd kill for a plush like that

DUDE i would love and cherish this forever if i got it. Its the picture of whimsy. Like be honest. Is this not the picture of whimsy? the joyful face. the felted hat. The buttons.

Gangle sort of looks like that guy.

What?

Gangle digital circus. You know im kinda like John Egbert. I have fairly long hair and i wear disguises in a way that i will bring my hair to the front and tie it up so i can be an elephant. I was 13.

Thirteen year olds are naturally drawn to goofy disguises.

TT: I understand you have recently come into possession of the beta release of "The Game of the Year", as featured in respectable periodicals such as GameBro Magazine. EB: that's an ugly rumor. EB: whoever told you that is a filthy liar. EB: and you should probably stop hitting on him all the time or whatever. TT: I can't control myself. TT: I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks.

TT: I must have a weakness for insufferable pricks. <- i'm getting gay vibes from this

"i believe in you" crawling on the floor. your father is baking you cakes and all you can think abt is how silly his harlquins are... and that you dont like this big goofy harlequin figure..

yea i'm suprised about that ;; i thought the dad was scary based off how much john didn't wanna see him

john is such a strange kid bcus hes basically normal from what we see. like take away his commentary and his place doesnt seem that bad.

yea, he's got a second floor and all :o

Exactly! And cake. Lots of cake!

truthfully! i want cake too ; ;

The door on the left leads to the KITCHEN, from which the smell of baking wafts -- a powerful aroma which could lift an especially portly hobo off his feet.

LIKE. OBVIOUSLY WHATEVER HIS DADS GOT GOING ON. HES A GOOD COOK. Whatever now im thinking about cake.

i want choco mousse so badly

ALRIGHT, this is 100 percent funnnier.

this mfer captchalogued a captchalogue card point and laugh.

Why do ppl have irl inventories is this the world they live in. Wish i had an irl inventory. But i have pockets. And thats enough

Homestuck is framed as a choose your own adventure novel. And also a videogame.

So eb is an npc that gives you tutorials?

Weelll. I would say tg fits that role? i mean given hes the one to point eb, aka john egbert, as to where to go, he sort of applies that deal. while also keeping it pretty light. Like telling john to mess with his strife specibus, reminding him of his objective, so on so forth. Even mentioning other characters. Its pretty handy.

#homestuck liveread #homestuck reread #homestuck liveblog #homestuck #hom3stuck

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moomoomooing · 2 years

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ace!! for the character bi go

disclaimer!! all of these are personal opinions and in no way do i mean anything bad by them

im sorry but i have like no opinions about this boy </3

like my first impressions of ace were pretty bad- considering the first time we meet him

hes honestly grown on me as a character and i dont actively dislike him, but his penchant for trouble and how much of a teasing personality he has doesnt make him a favourite of mine, tho this is entires just my personal opinions

im really bad at taking teasing unfortunately- i have a really hard time differentiating whats supposed to be genuine insults or just fun teasing. even being wittness to it makes me feel off- so ace has never really done it for me

HOWEVER he has such big highschool friend that you were in the same class together throughout middle school but now youre in different classes and he comes to bother you in passing period. hes mean but hes soke semblance of comfort in a new place yk?

for as much as im not fond of his teasing i still like this boy- in an annoying friend that id beat someone up for kinda way

tho if he ever got into another contract with azul id leave him to his fate in a heart beat, read the fine script next time bub </3

but i do think he works a lot better with deuce, they bounce off eachtoher in a really good way- their different brands of dumbassery work vv well together

im sorry i dont have much more to say! truthfully ive never paid much attention to deuce or ace since theyre just not really the style of characters i like-

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #twst fanart #twst ace trappola #twst ace #character bingo #moomoos talks #nanasx2

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megismorallysunny · 7 months

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24/09/23

ok so i totally meant to do my hw but as i was getting to the last bit of my irish it just felt pointless, ive been feeling like that a lot lately, which is annoying cuz im always positive. i think i feel unliked by my best friends it kinda sucks but thats the way it is, ive been getting more snappy at them, so its kinda my fault so ill have to spend some more time near them and talk to them which feels hard because i just feel so pointless, life feels so pointless and for once not in the way of "yipee nothing matters" more like "nothing really matters so why try anyways".

so dark thoughts aside lifes been doing mediocre, i meant to say stuff so ill get a shit ton from my notes that i wanted to say said now. The spanish kid (who only joined this year to our school) is kind of annoying, idk if it was just me but when i added him on snapchat he asked who i was, which you know fine but he didnt ask my friend who also did that. anyways on tuesday(?) he sat in "apples" seat, she sits behind me, were friends now but we werent for six months. ill say in a later post. anyways the cabinet behind her has litter picker uppers because our maths teacher is the green schools advisor, anyways "spanish kid" we'll nickname him "4k4" decides to sit in apples seat bc it means hes kind of a little bit farther to the boys but he can go into the cabinet. also as soon as he joined he got immediantly accepted into the guy secret circle. anyways he pokes me once with the garbage picker upper, now let me preface this by saying im not a loner, i have no reason to be bullied and picked on except for being loud maybe, i always have too much optimism, i give compliments im nice, sometimes im dumb but not too dumb to make me unlikable. THERE IS NO REASONNN. but i got poked, and to be honest my feelings were a little hurt, all respect GONEE, so i got out a pen shell from my pencil case (yknow those bic pens where you can take out the inc and pen part, well basically the bit which was left was the pen shell). anyways i took it out just in case he poked me again... AND HE DID!?!? so i grabbed my pen shell and launched it into his face, it was rly funny cuz he wasnt looking and flinched rly badly and his friends started laughing.

another time was when i wanted to get into school i was going to go through the side entrance which can only be opened from the inside without a code, and 4k4 and some of his friends were there, and when i got there his main friend shut the door on me and laughed, i kinda stood there for a few minutes saying please, it was an old joke, and it was funny i was also laughing but 4k4 pointing at me and laughing in my face made me feel pretty shitty tbh.

anyways me and my friends had a mamma mia party 2 where we watched mamma mia 2, we had it on friday like last year and was held near a similar date (only a day off the original). it went ok, it felt weird, maybe i wasnt in a good headspace but i just felt lonely there.

i dont really want to talk about it much more besides that, i could just feel like shit because my period is soon but truthfully im just not sure. A german mayor came to our school maybe thats a bit revealing but whatever, for all you could know he could have come a month ago, thats how behind on my notes i am. some of this is OLD news. my old friend gave a speech to him, i liked my friend but then he asked this girl out, he got rejected and i felt like shit, it was clear to everyone i liked him and everyone knew and made jokes about it, i always blushed and i thought he might have actually liked me like that because he acted like it. i thought he had asked me on a date on wednesday, but i wasnt going to make it a date unless he told me it was. he mentioned something and said have you heard about me or something and i said "no what?" and i kept pushing but calmed down after three pushes and said no. when he left my friends told me he had rejected a girl the day before. i just felt like shit, complete and utter shit.

i completely erased my happy feelings of him, it semi worked i was better around him but i know that if he asked me out now then id say no. actually now that im thinking about it, maybe id explain how it made me feel earlier when he didnt like me and i felt bad and i know that hes going to feel bad too because i cant accept his feelings and im sorry, also 2 weeks after he asked out the first girl he asked out apple, she said no cuz she has a boyfriend, but like ive never been asked out before, why not me, what was wrong with me. it hurts sometimes but im over it.

im going to have to cut this short bc this is LONGG but apple said im really pretty in science which was a major upgrade from the week prior where she said i smelt, i wasnt too fazed by the insult but i was delighted by the compliment. yknow emerald, i mentioned him on thursday(?) but he won the student council elections, thank god it wasnt apricot i dont think i could have bared another year of having everyone trust him.. hes really not someone to be trusted.

ok so i have much more to say but i have to go sleep but i was watching foolishs pov of the qsmp event going on rn, and i need to watch the cellbit rpg but i just find that tabletop shit confusing and frankly the rpg thing confused me but i think i can wrap my head around it. as always good morning, good day and good night.

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audaciiae · 1 year

Note

🙈 SEE-NO-EVIL - whats a side of your oc that they don't want to show other people? ( for kit AND marcus )

OC Asks || Accepting

well i think for kit its mainly that they dont want anyone to see them vulnerable in any kind of capacity. they put up this tough exterior where they say nothing really bothers them and they dont give a shit about being hurt or whatever bc nothing CAN hurt them but truthfully...kit would like to be loved or. whatever. it DID hurt them when casper betrayed them and they reacted so violently because How Dare Someone Make Them Feel Like That. so..yeah, kit doesnt like to show anyone any kind of vulnerability. it makes them feel yucky lmao

as for marcus, well, he definitely has that more violent side to him that empires always tend to have. hes just better at hiding it than others. and honestly back when the empire peaked, that level of violence was normal and i dont think anyone really batted an eye when he did lose himself. but he really liked to put himself up as a speaker for the people so having periods of being especially violent wouldnt look good so i dont think he really let it out unless he was in a battle or something lmao.

#unphantasmal #;Kit #;Marcus #headcanons

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sailorshadzter · 3 years

Text

a random one shot in which i twist the entire plot of game of thrones just because i can.

inspired by the prompt: a kiss to your lover's knuckle before a dance.

dont ask me how THIS came from that, it just did LOL

He finds her among the others, dressed in a silk gown of sapphire, made from a bolt of fabric he'd left in her rooms several weeks before. She's laughing, rosy lips curving as she pivots ever so slight, just enough that their eyes find each other's. Her laugh does not fade, but her eyes darken, pink tongue escaping to moisten those lips that only the night before had agonized him in the best of ways. "Your grace," Robb Stark says as he approaches, bowing low before Jon as he falls into place before them. She on the other hand does not move, not at first, smiling as if she holds onto a secret before she sinks into a curtsy, though she never once pulls her eyes from his face.

The Stark siblings have been South for nearly six months now, having arrived at the start of the new year. It was mostly out of peace between their kingdoms- once, their fathers had been at war- now, the sons have taken over and such a war had not been theirs to fight. Cousins by blood, neither Jon nor Robb had wished to shed another drop of family blood. And truth be told, neither had their fragile, broken nations. And so it was peace that was brokered, easily at that, and both Robb, the King in the North, and his sister and heir, Sansa, had come to King's Landing as Jon's honored guests.

"I thought I might dance with the lady," Jon says, beckoning towards Sansa who at least has the grace to blush. Robb casts a glance towards her and then grins as he turns back to Jon. Nodding with approval, he bows again before he makes his way through the crowd, only stopping when he catches sight of the lovely Margaery Tyrell who shines in pale gold damask, a single red rose tucked into the high coils of her hair. Reaching for her hand, he brings it close to his lips, brushing a soft kiss to her knuckles. Such a gesture sends shivers down her spine. "You look beautiful," he says as the music begins again, a slower tune that brings them closer together. They're both aware of the eyes that watch them, the King and the heir to the North, though they pay little mind of any of them watching. Her hand is small and warm in his, while her other hand dares to brush across the nape of his neck. That is what matters, that feeling her touch gives him. "That dress is most becoming."

She laughs, soft and twinkling, and once again those lips curve with a smile. "It is only because of this fine silk," she insists, though even she has been unable to do little else but admire the gown she's crafted for this night. Though quite unlike the styles of the North, she has retained some of her roots, for her red hair remains woven into braids, although it shimmers with a gem covered netting gifted to her by Margaery. That and the pendant she wears around her neck was stamped with her House sigil, worn once by her own father.

He twirls her out and then back in, closer than ever before, though she's uncertain as to how they could ever be closer. But then she snickers, recalling in fact, they could be much closer. As if Jon senses what she's thinking, it's his turn to chuckle, dipping his head down low, so close that his breath tickles her ear as he whispers what he's thought many times that evening. "I do wonder what it looks like upon the floor of my chamber, though." She blushes deep to the core of her hair, but she's breathless all the same. She likes it and he knows it. He loves that she likes it, truthfully.

Sansa Stark had come to King's Landing after a dark, somber period in her life. Once the spoiled, pampered princess of the North, she had been left alone in Winterfell with her youngest siblings, protected by the bitter cold and a small armed force. While her father had been in King's Landing, plotting against Jon's father, Rhaegar Targaryen, her mother had been with Robb on their way to join Ned in the South. What could not protect Sansa nor her siblings was the traitor Bolton House, that swept in upon hearing of Ned's death in battle and took Winterfell for themselves. Sansa was locked away in chambers and never again saw her siblings- Arya lost to the Northern wilderness, the boys certainly smothered in their chambers while they slept.

When Jon's father and Robert Baratheon was found dead after the last fight in what would now be called Robert's Rebellion- he and Robb met on the battlefield. It was Jon who spoke of peace and Robb who asked for nothing but to have help saving his sister from the unspeakable suffering she endured while held prisoner by Ramsay, the bastard born son of Roose Bolton. And save Sansa they had. Riding in at the head of an army, Robb and Jon swooped in and took Winterfell back in the name of House Stark.

Back then, she had worn her black gowns as armor, keeping to herself for the first few weeks of their arrival. Jon had assigned to her a few handmaidens and one in particular, Shae, certainly had found her place as Sansa's confidante. And then there was Margaery Tyrell, the beautiful and wealthy heiress to the Tyrell family. She had been the first to bring Sansa from her shell, the first person Jon had seen make her smile in the first six weeks of her stay. And then... One day... One day she had found him, all alone, in the quietest corner of the massive gardens. She had blushed, stammering an apology, turning to go before Jon could stop her. Two weeks later, they met again in similar fashion, though this time it had been Jon who happened upon her. They met here among the flowers nearly every day after that, hidden from prying eyes by rose bushes and fauna of the brightest green, side by side on the small stone bench.

That simple stone bench had been the place of their first kiss, a soft kiss that left him tingling long after she'd gone. Jon can't really remember when he'd begun to realize the depth of his feelings, but it was sometime between her falling in love with Ghost and Ghost with her, he really never could figure out which came first. But in truth, seeing her sink to the floor in his chambers to hug his neck, or to find the wolf asleep in her bed was all he'd needed to know the truth of how he felt. He loved her. He loved her beyond anything else in his entire life.

"The song is over..." It's her whispering and he jolts back to reality, realizing that indeed the song has ended and they still yet stand together. Springing apart, Jon offers her a most regal bow, his hand reaching for hers as he had done at the beginning. "Jon..." She calls him by name as the music strikes up another tune, this one quicker, though neither of them are thinking of dancing now.

"Meet me, in our usual spot," he murmurs over her knuckles before he drops her hand and disappears into the crowd. Sansa remains where she stands for several long moments more, her hand still yet warm where his lips had touched.

[ x x x ]

He hears her footsteps as she approaches.

There on the stone bench, he waits in silence for her, knowing without a doubt that she would come. She does not hesitate as she once might have, rather she sinks into her place at his side, silk skirts rustling with her movements. From above, the clouds shift, exposing her to the moon's pale light- though he cannot believe it, she's even far more beautiful with moonlight woven into her hair. He swallows, reaching out, hesitantly, to trace the length of her jaw with trembling fingers. "Jon..." Once again she calls him by his name and her hand reaches up, taking hold of his. This alone is enough to comfort him, to give him a sense of courage he's not even felt in battle before.

"Marry me," he says these words simply, without the hesitation from moment's before. She blinks, staring at him as if she's not heard him correctly. Before she can say a word, he's falling down to a knee before her, there on the stone bench, still yet clutching her hand. "Marry me, Sansa," he goes on, smiling up at her, those blue eyes wide in her ivory features. "It is the one thing in this life I have ever wanted-" to be a prince and then a king? It was not his first choice in life, but if he was going to do it... He wanted it to be with a woman he truly loved at his side. And despite the short time he's known her, he knows there can be no other. That there would never be another. This was not a king asking a princess, a noble, it was a man asking a woman. Nothing more, nothing less.

She cannot believe him when he speaks and yet... His dark eyed stare is so poignant, his words so very heartfelt. And truth be told, her her skips a beat at the realization of what he's asked of her. To marry him... To be his wife... Was it not what she dreamed of, if only in the privacy of her own mind? There is a warmth spreading through her and she finds herself to be nodding, over and over again nodding as she smiles brighter than she's ever smiled in all of her life. And then finally... She says what he's been waiting for.

"Yes."

When he rises up, she rises along with him, her heart singing as his hands slide into place against her cheeks. He could have spent forever right there in those gardens with her, if only time would allow. But he knows soon they must return to the ball and then to a new life they would build for themselves.

A happy world, a perfect world.

#jonsa #jon x sansa #actuallyjonsa #i like exploring jon being raised as heir in kings landing #i could do soo much with this plot line HOLY SHIT #b ut i am not writing another multi chapter anything #im not im not im not #*laughs in denial*#my writing #i wrote this

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myspideyboy · 3 years

Text

(I lived)

Summary| when you visit finch after his unsuccessful suicide attempt in the hospital he talks to you on why he tried but you try to remind him all hes done and the things he should be proud of rather then thinking what he shouldve been remembered by

- tw/warnings: mention of suicide/suicide attempt

- x female reader

9:35 pm. 9:35 pm you were called into the room they held the one and only Theodore Finch. A room y/n never wanted to see finch in, see him paler then his natural color or his usual bright smile place with a unemotional look that seems like all he can think about one thing, one regret, one wish. That he was dead. He wished he was. There was no deny it now this was his second attempt and he couldnt run away this time since his body was to weak to run, for awhile it was to weak to breath. He was currently looking down at the food that was on the tray hovering above his lap wondering who was going to come in first, his mom who would've cried and blamed herself. His sister kate who would've cried along with decca who was to young to understand what he did. His friend violet who he saved off the ledge or you, or his girlfriend. You, he wouldn't known what to expect to see you as but he knew he had hurt you, he knew that for sure. When you walked in he didnt look up from his food he was pushing around with his fork he just kept staring at it as if maybe if he stared long enough he'll disappear for awhile.

"Finch?" Y/n asked her voice sounding as if she cried for hours on end, which she has since she received the phone call that the found finch alive but unconscious, hearing how she said his name sent knives through finchs heart. He looked up at her his eyes going soft and sad once he saw her red puffy eyes and the lack of the brightness of joy she usually had with her. "Yeah...I'm here" he told her his voice being quiet, he wanted her to know that he was there that he wasnt some illusion her mind made up to make her think he was there and not dead. Y/n sniffled while pulling a chair up to his bed and sitting down on it, bring her knees to her chest as she looked into his eyes being ready to cry again. "Why?" She asked before she inhaled sharply to avoid breaking down right there, soon she exhaled before she spoke again "why did you want to leave me?" Her voice was shaky now and she shuts her eyes to avoid tears from falling. Finchs eyes widened as his heart stopped beating for what felt like forever, "what? No, no! I didnt...it wasnt meant for that. I didnt mean for that... it wasnt because I wanted to leave you" finch says as he say uo straight in his hospital bed looking straight at y/n. Y/n opened her eyes to look at finch tears already falling from her eyes, "then why finch?" She asked moving the sleeves of her shirt that covered her hands to wipe away her tears. "Because y/n i-...I just couldnt anymore. I'm the freak everywhere I go. The unwanted son. The unpredictable...I didnt want to hurt anyone anymore...I didnt want to hurt anymore either.." he said now he was tearing up but he looked down to hide his tears that formed in his eyes. "I thought if I was gone, things would be easier. For you. My sisters, my mom, my friends...everyone". "But finch that isnt true. Nothing is easier without you" y/n spoke truthfully.

Finch looked at her through his tears not knowing to believe it or not, but whatever she said he always believed, "really?" He asked her not caring as the tears fell from his face. Only with her he could cry and not have to worry about anything going wrong with it, he felt like he could show any emotions with her and she'll always help him calm down from them or keep the good ones going. "Yeah, really...finch, you have given me so many good things. I want them to keep going, I dont want those memories to just to be remembered by in such a short period of time. I want more till it's time for both of us to go" she explained giving him a small resuring smile. Finch couldnt help but laugh looking back down at his lap, he continued to laugh till it turned into a cry. He covered his face and hanged his head low, now regretting for ever trying to kill himself. He didnt realize it would actually do more damage then he thought it would, how it would just bring more pain then ever if he was truly gone and he wouldnt be there to fix it. Y/n frowns hearing him cry now making her want to cry so she crawled onto his bed and wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head close to her chest so he could cry on her and not into his hands. Finch wraps one arm around her as he kept the arm with the iv in it laying by his side "I'm sorry..I am so sorry" he cried. He hated how he brought he pain from what he has done, he just wanted the thoughts to go silent for once, for the pain he suffered from so long to stop and freeze in time while he stayed under the water forever. Y/n let finch cry everything he was holding in hopeing so he can feel better about everything evening if it was just a little.

"Do you remember when we went out to this carnival they had, and you tried to win me that stuffed teddy bear that was pink...and you kept missing the balloons so I had to win it for me?" Y/n asked while looking down at finch, trying to distract him from all that was happening. Finch chuckled and nodded not moving his head from resting against her, "yeah... I told you I was a bad but you encourage me to do it, you always do that" he told her while moving his head to listen to her heart beat. She did always do that. Encourage him to keep doing things he thought was impossible for him to do it did made him feel special and like he meant something. "I didn't think you were that bad" she laughed which made finch laugh "and then when we went to the blue hole for the first time, you taught me to swim...I was so scared to be in the deep end" she had whispered the last part which had made finch smile from the memory. He remembered holding her as he helped her move to the deeper end of the blue hole and how tight her grip was, the look of fear on her face that had change to pure excitement when she learned how to do it. "I remember" he told her while smiling now being calmer then before and more relaxed "I wanna make memories like that finch...I want to be able to have my whole life with. Every moment to remember with you..." she looked down at him tilting his head up by his chin with her thumb and index finger, "I want that too y/n...I really want that" finch whispered while looking into her eyes. He leaned up and kissed her lips softly enjoying the taste of pomegranate he always had the pleasure of tasting when kissing her, and when she kissed back her smiled just to pull away seconds later. "I promise you I will stay now...I'm going no where and I promise I'll be here for everything" finch told her "I promise I'll be here too finch....forever and for always"

• my first writing here and I hope it's okay :)

#all the bright places #theodore finch #violet markey #justice smith #elle fanning #x reader #oneshot

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luvsicksubs · 4 years

Text

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

open mouth - kozume kenma

warnings: facefucking (m recieving), strap-ons, femdom, vibrators, cumming untouched.

a/n: i dont even have shit to say i hope someone likes this nonsense.

plot summary: kenma looks pretty w the strap in his mouth

It’s awkward, the gesture of having a cock in his mouth isn’t exactly what he imagined it to be. He never really imagines ending up in situations like this one though.

He watches you through lidded eyes as he lays between your legs, on all fours using his elbows to prop himself up while he wraps a hand around the plastic dick. He stares at it at first, easing himself off the tip before looking dumbfounded. It’s so fucking big, he can’t imagine how something of this size has ever fit inside of him before. He finds himself wanting to do a good job, though he knows it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter of course, because this is solely for your entertainment. Watching Kenma choke on your cock had been a relatively vested interest of yours ever since you regularly started fucking him with one. There was something terribly blissful about it, the kind of lust driven emotions that fueled you when you watch his tight hole stretch around something that would later end up in his belly. The same kind of filthy thoughts that entered your mind when you pressed on his stomach and you felt it.

Your clit twitches, swollen against the leather of the strap as you watch Kenma toy at it. Drunk off power, you thread your finger through his faux blonde locks, using your other hand to hit the tip of it the strap against his mouth. He lets you do as you please, obediently sticking his tongue out while he adjust the vibrator that was currently doing what you couldn’t. Your eyes roll black in pleasure, too turned on too think.

“So fucking pretty like this, baby,” your voice is lower than normally, not saccharine sweet like Kenma is used to. It leave his own cock to twitch between his thighs, feeling helpless “Can you open your mouth for me angel?,”

He does, like the good, and curious boy that he is. He sticks his tongue out far and relaxes his jaw and lets you slide the plastic head all over his mouth and tongue. It doesn’t feel bad but he isn’t used to the labor yet. He wonder how you do this for him. He finds your hand steadying the back of his head, slowly sinking the strap into his mouth.

Eventually, it leads into the back of his throat. You can’t take your eyes off of the visual of him like this. It’shumiliating, but you can see Kenmas body shiver as you do. You grip his hair, slowly easing your way into fucking his mouth. Each time you force yourself a little deeper, wondering if he’ll eventually end up tapping.

But he doesn’t. The sigh is pornographic, truly - watching Kenma choke on your plastic cock periodically looking at you through tear-stained lashes. He looks a fucking mess, thick lines of drool cover his mouth and chin. The sound of it hitting the back of his throat echoes through the whole room, and he moans through it. Each gasp for air is followed by a whimper, as he uses a freehand to fuck you with the vibrator that let out a gentle buzz.

He’s shivering. He’s so turned on by the situation and his eyes keeping seeking yours with approval. Seeing his slim face anc cheeks hollowed out like that is genuinely too fucking much.

Your thighs are sticky, and so is Kenmas cheeks throat. Slick glistens down the column of his neck while he bobs his head.

It’s overwhelming, watching him cry and choke on your cock. He does it with such enthusiasm, his face and tips of his ears burning with arousal. He is all nerves and sensitivity.

“Look so pretty choking on my dick like that baby,” you say with a breathy laugh, truthfully nearing your own orgasm. “You take it in your throat like a champ you know? Maybe your Miss should throat train you for fun,”

What even you can’t predict is the moan that’s proceeded with Kenma cumming untouched on the linen bedsheets. Your eyes widen as your own orgasm crashes into you, preventing you form thinking clearly as you pull Kenma off and quickly reach to turn the vibrator off and pull it out. He immediately falls forward, crashing his face in your thigh before twitching.

“My god,” you breath out, reaching a hand to card through his hair as you watch his petite body tremble “Glad you liked it so much,”

Kenma whines at that, hiccuping a few times at the intense rush of pleasure that was now giving him a litle too much clarity. He grumbles, and in true Kenma fashion only clings closer to you.

“Shuddup,” is all he can manage out, stretching his arms out and silently telling you to carry him. You chuckle but oblige, wrapping him up in your arms before softly massaging his jaw.

He flinches at that and you laugh, reminding yourself to be more careful next time.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

#kenma x reader #kenma x you #kenma x y/n #kozume kenma x reader #kozume kenma x you #kozume kenma x y/n #kenma imagine #kenma imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x y/n #k; facefucking #hqfdom #hoooo man

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enviedear · 3 years

Text

secrets that you keep → peter parker

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in a consolation trip back to europe, the kids of midtown high are eager to have a normal vacation, finally. but you on the other hand are on a mission. something weird is going on with peter parker, and you’re going to figure it out.

PAIRING ⌙ peter parker x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.4k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“-smaller group than before, but we’ll still have fun guys. the tour company has made precautions for you kids. there will not be a repeat of last year.” mr. harrington babbles.

you sink lower into the bus seat. you did not want to be back in europe. truthfully you want to be anywhere but here. wherever, here, was. no one knew. cell service went out about five miles back and the bus driver didn’t speak english.

“yeah guys, don’t worry. this trip is going to be ten times worse than the last. it’s already started bad since we don't know where we ARE!” flash yells, running a hand down his face.

mr. harrington tries to calm him and the rest of the bus down, to no avail.

you block out the commotion and stare out of the bus window. grass, farm, cattle, shack, more grass, more farm. and not one single cell tower in sight. this is it, you think, this is how it ends, stranded in a foreign country with the most annoying people you’ve ever known.

“guys, GUYS! my service is back,” betty yelps. “it says we’re in wiveliscombe, and that it’s going to be three hours until we reach london.”

her words are met with groans.

“at least we have cell service now.” jokes peter parker, who’s sat in the seat across the aisle from you. he’s cute and nice, but weird. last year’s trip he had about a thousand excuses as to why he’d leave the group and if it happened this year, you were gonna figure out why. no matter what it took.

“mhm, and since we have access to the endless possibilities of the internet again, we don’t have to talk..” you huff.

“i.. sorry. i didn’t-” you cut him off by placing your earbuds back into your ears and turning the volume up.

something about peter irked your nerves in a way you couldn’t understand. maybe it was the way he knew fucking everything. maybe it was the way his body became incomprehensibly fit in such a short period of time. you really couldn’t understand that. even went as far as to do research on steroids, but found there was no way he could be using those. most probably it was the nonsense of his idiotic excuses. he might be able to fool everyone else, but not you. you knew there had to be something going on.

he and his stupid cute little brown curls, button nose, and six pack were under your firm watch.

by the time the bus reached the hotel the sun was beginning to set. jet lagged and in need of a long shower, you’re one of the first to fly into the hotel.

“It's me and you for the next week.” mj smiles, holding out a room key for you. truthfully, you really liked mj. she was cool and liked a lot of the same things as you. but she had one fatal flaw in your eyes, she used to date peter parker.

it was a short lived relationship, almost everyone saw it as a fling. peter and mj were just… too different. but they remain close friends.

it’s not like you were jealous... just, a tad bit jealous. besides, that ship had sailed and your goal wasn’t to end up like mj on the last trip to europe. no, you had other plans.

“cool. we can watch murder mysteries tonight and grab some snack from the convenience store down the street.” you grin.

the rooming situation for everyone else took entirely too long. it started with flash being upset that his room requirements weren’t being met. he wanted nothing to do with a roommate. this, caused his previous roommate, zander, to object to rooming with someone so, ‘coddled’.

took a full twenty minutes to resolve the issue.

“mj, you still wanna visit the national gallery tomorrow?” asks the one and only peter parker.

“uh, yeah. y/n, wanna join?” she questions.

you were ready to object, finding it far more intriguing to stay in and sleep but then you remembered your little mission. if you wanted to figure out what peter parker’s deal was, you’d have to be around him.

“sure. nothing better to do.” you shrug, peering straight into peter’s eyes.

“i, uh- i thought we’d get an early start to the day. ned wants to go on the jack the ripper tour, so that gives us until one to look through the museum.” peter rambles.

“alright, me and y/n will meet you two down here around ten thirty.” mj clarifies.

“see you then. night mj,” he looks to you. “goodnight y/n.”

you narrow your eyes at him, “sleep tight parker. busy day tomorrow.”

with that you and mj enter your room, ready to sleep off the jet lag. and soon enough, sleep carries you into her open arms, preparing you for the day ahead.

the next morning consists of peter and ned rushing in and out of their room. the duo forgetting nearly everything they needed for the day. it was extremely annoying. but you’d take watching the two ninnies scramble about over this tour you’re forcing yourself to get through right now.

the national gallery was proving to be a bore. maybe it was you. or maybe it was the dull ass tour guide. either way, you’re finding it hard to focus on any of these artworks around you.

“this is the arnolfini portrait. it’s the work of jan van eyck and it is believed to depict an italian merchant named giovanni di nicolao arnolfini. this painting has remained in the national gallery since 1843.” the tour guide drones.

you peer up at the art, searching for anything to interest you about it. you try to focus of the dark green of the woman’s dress, then the small dog, but nothing about this art is appealing to you. instead, you find the whispered conversation going on behind you to be much more intriguing.

“ned how am i going to make it all the way to japan and back here before the ripper tour?” peter grumbles.

japan?

“i don’t know, but i really don’t want to go on a tour of the most infamous and creepy serial killers of all time without my best friend.” ned whispers.

“but mj will be there, and.. y/n.” peter assures.

“great. they both creep me out. that’s like, two extra loads of creepy added onto the already creepy tour.” ned huffs.

“dude, i have to go… mr. stark is waiting on me.” peter pleads.

you hear ned give an annoyed, “fine.”

you wait a few seconds before turning around to face peter’s friend.

“where did peter run off to?” you ask, as innocently as you can.

“uhhhh- the bathroom. the uh, hotel bathroom. yeah, must have been those tomatoes he ate with his breakfast today.” ned gulps.

“mhm. well i think i’ll meet up with him. he shouldn’t walk all the way back alone.” you smirk, shoving past ned and running the direction peter went.

it took a good minute to find him outside, the boy running into a bakery. but once your eyes find him, you rush straight in, right behind him. eyes narrowed and full of questions.

the brown haired boy quickly enters a bathroom and you grin.

no escaping now, parker.

you wait outside the bathroom eagerly. only for minutes to pass. no sound escapes the room and you furrow your brows.

you knock on the door, no answer. annoyed you open the door, only to be met with an empty bathroom.

an empty bathroom with an opened window.

what the fuck?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“we’ve been upgraded!” mr. harrington gleams, looking down at our tired faces.

“last time we were upgraded we almost died.” betty sighs.

“ah- what did i say, we’re not going to repeat last year,” harrington retorts. “now...how do you guys feel about paris?”

well those words certainly livened up the breakfast table. train tickets are soon passed around, and you study yours, spoonful of yogurt still in your mouth.

“hey y/n, mj and i are gonna go to the louvre when we get there,” ned grins. “wanna come with?”

you chuckle, “another museum? nah, i’m good.”

mj quirks a brow at you, “this museum is home to the mona lisa. it’s not just any museum.”

“and the mona lisa is not just any painting… it’s an ugly one.” you huff.

ned guffaws at you.

“honestly, i might skip out too.” peter says.

you turn to face him, “great. you and i can explore paris while mj and ned explore another museum.”

he shifts in his seat, “i dunno i was thinking of-”

mj cuts him off, “i think that’s a great idea y/n. don’t you, peter? you remember what harrington said.. no repeat of last year.”

her eyes are cold as she awaits his answer and he fidgets more in his seat.

“i just think it might be best for me to stay here… ya know in case mr. stark needs anything.”

you roll your eyes, “dude, you’re just an intern. what could he possibly need that his other ten thousand interns can’t do.”

“technically he only has like six other… interns.” peter mumbles.

“but uh.. they can handle whatever mr. stark needs from you. i mean they’ve been av- uh, interns, for a while.” ned says, eyes pleading with his friend.

peter sighs before smiling at you, “alright, me and you versus paris.”

no peter parker, me and myself versus your dirty little secret.

somehow you got to sit next to peter in an empty train car for the ride to paris. and holy shit.. could he talk.

his eyes did have a way of lighting a fire inside you as he talked but, that, was not the point.

it was between an empty car with peter or full car sat between flash and harrington.

peter is always better than the latter.

“-anyways, how’d you convince your parents to let you go back to europe?” he asks.

“i didn’t. they made me.” you say simply.

peter slumps into his seat a little, “uh, why?”

“because when they were younger they traveled the world. i dunno, i guess they expect me to want to as well.”

“oh. well, are you enjoying it so far.” he asks.

i’d enjoy it more if i could figure out your damned secret, parker.

“sure.”

and then, finally, peter is quiet.

but not for long, as the train comes to a screeching halt.

over the train speakers comes a booming voice, “veuillez rester calme. le train s'est arrêté en raison d'un dysfonctionnement du moteur.”

your body tenses and you look at peter, “please tell me you understand french?”

“a little.. i dont think we need to worry. they said it’s just an engine malfunction.” he nods, looking around the train car.

you try to breathe.

everything is okay. there’s no evil robots coming to destroy a train car with two innocent teenagers. that’s so pre civil war. just breathe.

suddenly a loud bang is heard from the car behind you. not just any bang… a gunshot.

“holy shit.” you whisper, stiff as a board.

peter on the other hand is rummaging through his bag.

“parker! what the fuck are you doing?” you hiss.

“i.. just trust me okay? when i tell you to run… run.”

you look at him with a scowl, “i’m not going to be the sacrificial pig for slaughter, asswipe.”

he rolls his eyes, “i’m going to run with you. we’re going to find an empty car and then… wait for spiderman.”

you blink. the kid’s gone insane.

“peter. listen, i know coping with your own inevitable death can be hard but, spiderman.. really?” you groan.

another loud bang comes from the car behind you.

peter looks at you, taking your hand in his.

the door to your car bursts open.

“run!” peter yelps, rushing into the next car, the gunmen not far enough behind.

“holy shit i’m gonna die.” you scream.

peter throws something at the gunmen when the two of you enter the next car, separating the two of you from the monsters.

but the kid didn’t throw just anything at them. motherfucker threw a damn door. a metal train door.

by the time you process the information, peter is pulling you into a cramped bathroom.

“i don’t have much time but basically, hi, i’m spiderman. those guys back there are people tony stark pissed off really bad and i need you to hide in here until i fix this issue.”

with that he pulls his jacket off revealing the spiderman suit you’re so used to seeing on the news.

“that’s your secret? this entire time i’ve been hanging around you trying to figure it out, and it turns out you’re spiderman. i would have thought anything before fucking spiderman.” you dwell, eyes wide.

he slips his mask on, “wait, you only hung out with me because you thought i had a secret? i mean.. i did but-”

another loud bang interrupts him, “nevermind. we’ll talk about this later. stay here and don’t tell anyone what i just told you.”

you nod, and watch him exit the bathroom.

so much for “not a repeat of last time.”

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“at least it wasn’t witches this time.” mr. dell sighs.

your entire fourth period groans.

“what! our world is infested with witches now. i don’t even know why i’m teaching science. i’m gonna turn around one day and suddenly i’ll be teaching witchcraft.”

your eyes return back to your desk, staring a hole into the old wood. your trance is broken by a crumpled piece of paper. you roll your eyes and turn your attention to peter, who after europe has been watching you like a hawk.

you open the paper to see, ‘listen, mr. stark said i need to get written evidence that you won’t spill the beans. please sign below.’

you grimace but sign at the bottom of the paper and hand it back to your new ninny friend.

that’s right. friend. despite being one of the most annoying people on the planet, with the weirdest secret ever.. peter was nice. he was really nice. he liked almost everything you did and listened intently to whatever you had to say.

“earth to y/n.” his voice calls from beside you.

“oh? is class over?” you ask.

he nods and holds his arm out to you. you take it and give him a half smile.

you may find peter parker to be the weirdest dude ever, but you can’t deny that the secret superhero is starting to flood your mind. you never thought you’d be the one to say it, but peter parker is the coolest weirdo you’ve ever met.

and besides, your mission was a success. you figured out his secret and obtained a friend along with it.

well, friend, until you could complete your newest mission.

telling him you like him. like, a lot.

#—myfics !#peter parker x reader #spiderman x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x you #spiderman x enemy!reader #peter parker x enemy!reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman fanfiction #spiderman far from home #x reader #peter parker

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captains-writing-desk · 3 years

Text

Changes of Winter

Universe: Harry Potter

Character: Severus Snape

Type: F!Reader Insert (You, Yours)

Words: 4,020

Prompt: Hello- Idk if you're still taking requests for Snape but could you possibly do one kinda based off the song Heather by Conan Gray? Like reader and snape are students and she likes him but hes too hooked on Lily to notice? Maybe even ending with like some fluff and them getting together in the end? Idk- up to you! And sorry if you weren't taking requests I dont mean to be a bother. (Sometimes I mix posts up where people say they are taking requests and not) ��

Notes: Am I obsessed with snow and winter??? Maybe... Are y’all obsessed with Snape? YES, I HAVE SO MANY SNAPE REQUESTS! 😂 I haven’t proofread this guys I’m sorry! Some platonic Lupin in here for you too!

Enjoy!

“Are you cold?” You were torn from watching your breath disappear with the cold but gentle breeze. Your feet shifted and creaked in the snow as you turned to see Severus approach you with a book tucked into his chest.

“Severus,” You gasped softly and smiled, taking a moment to release your breath slowly, “It is snowing.” You stated the obvious as if he didn’t notice and he smirked at your sarcasm.

“I can see that. Where’s your scarf?” He frowned when you averted your eyes then turned towards the lake.

“Out there somewhere.” You shrugged and shivered the cold from your bones.

“Why is it out there?” He ducked to catch your gaze and you glanced sheepishly at him.

“I may have said some things to some people in defence yesterday. So they may have decided to push me and my scarf into the lake...” You smiled awkwardly and he sighed.

“Is that why a certain someone went to the infirmary with a broken nose last night?” He raised his brow.

“Yes. Yes it is. I have detention later so...” You didn’t quite get away with your crimes and he sighed again as he always did when you got yourself in trouble, it almost got longer as each year was passing. You tried to laugh it off but a shiver crept over you instead. Severus saw this and removed his scarf then held it out to you. You stared at the scarf draped over his palms and tried to decline but he stepped forwards and stapled it around your shoulders instead, flicking one end over your shoulder to loop around your neck. His scent immediately filled your nostrils and ran through every fibre of your being as you subconsciously hugged it closer to you.

“Thank you.” You muttered through the fabric, hiding the huge grin plastered across your face. For a moment you had not locked gaze with each other as he earnestly muttered a ‘You’re welcome.’ Yet, as quick as the gaze had lasted, his eyes fell behind you and his whole form softened. You took a moment to register his distraction and followed his gaze to a plume of red hair that fluttered gently against the shoulders of none other than Lily Evans.

Even you were taken aback by her beauty sometimes, you couldn’t really blame Severus or anyone else for that fact in being completely enthralled by her. You couldn’t help the jealousy you felt and how you envied her. You wished Severus looked at you like that. You wished you could distract him simply by walking into his view. You wished you were Lily Evans.

Then again, you watched James trail behind her, pushing every compliment under the sun at her. That you could do without if you were her but you weren’t her and never would be, especially in Severus’ eyes.

Her eyes flickered over to Severus and she smiled, adjusted her course and made her way over. Your chin fell to your chest and you sighed as she greeted you both. Severus returned his sentiments but before you could even half ass some form of greeting, James spoke up.

“Aren’t you supposed to be staying away from me?” He puffed his chest out and you turned and lifted your head to meet him.

“You came to me.” You folded your arms as you stood your ground.

“You did break his nose.” Lily stated, not defensively but casually.

“He pushed me into the lake.” You defended yourself.

“Because you punched him.” She stated again and you stifled a bemused laugh and looked at James who saw he had been caught in a lie.

“Is that what you’re telling people?” You laughed once again, “Is it too embarrassing to tell people that I was standing up for my friend,” You motioned briefly to Severus, “as you belittled him and you got so angry that you pushed me into the lake? So hard that I broke the ice and cracked my wand. Might even have drowned if Remus hadn’t pulled me out.” You stared him down- hard, making him regret ever bringing it up in the first place as Lily turned slowly to him.

“You said it was in self defence.” She folded her arms.

“It was!” He insisted.

“Of what? Your pride?” She scolded him and they started arguing so you turned to Severus again.

“You were defending me?” He spoke immediately.

“Of course. I don’t like people talking about you like that.” You cleared your throat awkwardly. He opened his mouth to say something but his gaze once again wandered over to Lily, which honestly at this point was annoying. She had started walking away, telling James to leave her alone and that she had just wanted to talk to Severus in peace. You looked back to Severus who stared longingly after her, almost pained.

“Go.” You told him and after a beat, he was following her leaving you alone to sigh through the pain you felt.

You understood he had known Lily a little longer than you, but she wasn’t really there for him as much. You assumed that with each passing year he would get over her a little more but not once did his admiration for her dwindle. Even as she got together with James he still felt a burning desire for her.

Now that they were together, Severus had less time to spend with her, uninterrupted time anyway and he would find himself moping about it around you. He would never expressly talk about it, come to think of it he had never even mentioned the fact that he even liked her but you knew it and you knew what pain he was feeling just by looking at him because you were feeling that same pain. The only difference being that he was bitter about it, his pain made him bitter and resentful which was difficult to deal with. Half of the time you would tell him to let things be and not be so bitter but he would either end up storming off or resigning himself to complete silence for the rest of the time spent together.

The more this happened, the more you thought about distancing yourself from him, as painful as it would be it had to be less painful than watch him fall and break for another woman that wasn’t you. There were times you were almost successful in breaking away but watching his heart break with nobody to fall on felt worse. Really you were all he had, not that either of you really knew it.

You found yourself feeling more alone despite deciding to stay close with him still, especially when he would get angry and storm off, leaving you alone for a few days until he decided to speak to you again.

It was one of those days where Severus was off elsewhere, possibly cursing you judging by how your day had gone. Everything seemed to have gone wrong, nothing major but all these little things had built up which in turn built up your frustration. In your free period you decided to sit by the lake to read and breath in the autumn air that was quickly being chased away by the sting of winter.

“Bit cold down here for you to be sat on the ground isn’t it?” The voice of Remus Lupin made you jump and you leapt to your feet.

“I came here for peace until you came.” You put your hand on your hip.

“I came here for peace too.” He took a step towards you and you stepped back. He raised his hands as if he was taking a wild animal. “Calm down.” He chuckled.

“Forgive me for not trusting any of you snakes around lakes.” You weren’t really being rude but you did have a point. You found Remus to be the more tolerable of his little group, he was paired with you in some of your classes and you found he had a pretty decent sense of humour.

“I don’t blame you really.” He laughed and sat down next to where you had been perched against a tree, pulled out a book then patted the space next to him. You rolled your eyes and went and sat next to him, flipping your own book to the page you had been on before. You both read in silence for a while until he sighed.

“I am sorry that they’re rude to you.” He turned to you with furrowed brows.

“So you keep saying.” You spoke flatly, not bringing your eyes away from your book. Truthfully he would always apologise for anything that happened to you on behalf of his friends.

“I do mean it though.” He said sincerely but what difference would that make.

“No offence Remus but it means nothing coming from someone who did nothing. Nothing to me yes, but do you say anything about it to them? I don’t suppose you do. Besides, I’m not the one who should be getting the apology in the first place.” He knew you meant Severus. Severus got it worse than anyone in that school.

“I know...” He whispered and you fell into silence while reading again.

He walked you back to the castle and to your next class with him, then to the hall for lunch afterwards.

Shortly after you sat down and bid your farewells, Severus slid himself into the space next to you.

“Were you just chatting with Remus Lupin?” He asked immediately.

“Welcome back.” You simply said, waiting for his inevitable apology before doing the same thing again a week later.

Winter had come in thick and fast as it did every year, but seemingly quicker this year. Perhaps because it was the final year and not long until you would be done for good.

“Does she even know?” You interrupted Severus’ thoughts as he watched James and Lily dance at the Yule ball.

“Know what? I thought you weren’t coming.” He tore his eyes away from her for a split second to glance at you, taking in your dressy appearance and you sighed.

“You’ve been badgering me all week to come so you wouldn’t be alone. It’s our last year here you know and there’s not much left of it at that.” You twiddled your thumbs nervously as you watched him carefully and leaned up against the wall.

“What are you getting at?” He suddenly snapped his head towards you and you averted your eyes momentarily, trying to bide your own time and calm your nerves somehow.

“I don’t know. It’s just been a long time Severus. Perhaps it’s time to let go.” You barely whispered but he knew what you said, perhaps ignoring it this time because it was Christmas and he did not want to storm off on you now. Though in reality you were perhaps talking more to yourself than you were to him in the first place.

A shadow cast itself between the two of you then and you looked to see Remus stood to the side of you.

“Can I help you?” You asked a little amused at the odd smile that graced his lips.

“I came to ask you for a dance.” He announced almost smugly.

“Is this a joke?” You looked around him for his friends, trying to catch a glimpse of them snickering away somewhere.

“No.” He had a goofy smile on his face that you were still trying to decide if it was genuine or not..

“Drunk?” You narrowed your eyes in amusement.

“A little.” He admitted with a chuckle.

“That explains it.” You laughed and glanced at Severus who still had his eyes on his prize but was listening in for sure because he rolled his eyes at Remus’ demeanour.

“Aw come on, I would actually like to dance with you. I thought we were getting on!” He slurred slightly and you started to wonder where he was finding whatever alcohol he had been getting at, perhaps it would have helped your nerves.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” You had to admit you had become quite accustomed to his company.

“Yes! And I saved your life once so let’s say you owe me.” He flicked a finger gun my way and I laughed again.

“Alright. So if I get up and dance with you, and it’s all one big joke, you know I’ll break your arm right?” You shifted your body in preparation to follow him.

“I promise you, I just want to dance.” He said earnestly and held his hand out to you. With a quick glance at Severus who was still engrossed elsewhere, you took his hand.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You pushed yourself from the wall and saw Severus out the corner of your eye finally turn to look at you as Remus towed you away.

That had been the last time you had seen Severus as your friend before school ended, the next time you had seen him you had gotten into a big argument with him about the whole ordeal. He wasn’t happy that you’d made friends with the likes of him let alone danced with him. You said he was being stupid and you defended Remus for not playing a part in the teasing and bullying but as you had said to Remus, he hadn’t tried to stop it, so you supposed Severus had every right to be mad.

If you’d have known he would end up being a Professor at Hogwarts with you perhaps you wouldn’t have accepted the position but then again, Dumbledore practically begged you to come and it couldn’t all be bad could it? It would be easy enough to avoid him or ignore him for the most part, aside from your gut practically kicking you every time you saw him.

There was a full moon out and you needed moon water so you chucked a warm robe on and meandered down to the lake, perhaps your favourite place despite almost dying in it. You opened your pouch of empty vials and crouched by the water, taking your time to carefully bottle the water and take in the crisp autumn air of September.

A shadow came over you and you moved slightly to glance at the reflection in the water.

“Severus.” Your heart stopped for a moment and you almost choked on the breath you didn’t even know you held. You stared at each other through the reflection of the lake for a while, neither knowing what to say. You were shocked he had approached you and perhaps he was a little shocked too, only that he was bold enough to do it.

You studied his features that had grown stronger as he had matured and he studied your own features, each of you coming to rest in the eyes that had not changed really, only that his held a different expression as they watched you now. Mind you it had been a while since you’d seen eachother.

He crouched beside you and held his hand out beside you, after a moment you passed him one of your empty vials which he promptly filled as you placed the bag between you so he could help. A silence fell between you for a while. Not an awkward silence but it was fairly jarring.

Once your vials were full he pulled out a different shape and sized vial and rolled it between his fingers before finally looking at you to tell him what you wanted in those. You looked at the vial then slowly at him, finally seeing not just a reflection.

“Mugwort.” You practically whispered and he raised his brow.

“I have Mugwort you know.” He pursed his lips.

“I like to do my own foraging. Besides I’m willing to bet you’re the kind of man who resents anyone coming to you for supplies.” You mirrored his expression.

“I know.” He thought for a moment, “You’re right, yes.” A very low chuckle escaped him, almost as quiet as a breeze but you heard it and things felt almost normal- too normal. You could feel yourself melting for him all over again, not that you didn’t melt when you saw him around but the acknowledgement of eachother changed the whole thing and it scared you. The small smile that had graced your lips watching him chuckle crept away, as if your memory had been wiped.

“You should know... I..” He trailed off and looked at the ground between you with his brows furrowed as he tried to speak. He took a breath and calmed himself before looking dead into your eyes.

“I really made a mess with you. I wish I hadn’t gotten so angry for no reason.” This was his attempt at making amends- beginning to at least.

“I understand.” You assured him you bore no I’ll will against him for his anger, after all you had understood why he was angry.

“It’s not just that really, I suppose. I wish I’d seen you more.” He was being very cryptic. What he was saying was difficult for him and though didn’t quite know what he was saying, you understood that he was trying to talk sensitively which was hard for him.

“Right?” You pressed him, ignoring the knot in your stomach.

“I’ve missed you.” He sighed, deciding he had said enough for now but it wasn’t the end of it. You on the other hand were lost. You hadn’t expected something like that from him but not only that, all hopes of forgetting him and moving on vanished like a shooting star. Would you let yourself be drawn back in by him? Of course you would. Who were you kidding?

“I missed you too.” You practically clawed for breath trying to respond to him then he smiled. A small smile but it was there, and it was beautiful .

For almost a month you we talking regularly like old friends again but something seemed wrong. There were some things he wasn’t telling you and you knew it. You didn’t want to ask him nor did you want to pressure him but you became increasingly agitated be this niggling feeling in the pit of your stomach that something was off but you pushed it down further and further but you felt the need to be close to him, increasingly so. Perhaps it was your lovesick ways coming back stronger everyday though deep down you knew it was something else. You asked him to spend Hallowe’en with you rather randomly although he knew it was perhaps your favourite time of the year so he agreed.

The feeling you had got worse and worse that week until the Hallowe’en feast came and it disappeared completely. Even the fact that Severus was not in attendance hadn’t phased you much because you would see him that night but the night came and you did not see him. You decided to take a trip to his room to see what was up but on your way there an overwhelming sense of dread and misery washed over you, stopping you dead in your tracks and clinging to the bannister of the staircase for support. You heaved yourself to stand straight and found yourself marching to the Headmasters office where you slumped against the door and knocked repeatedly. The door opened and your arm flew across the frame to keep yourself steady.

“Are you alright my dear?” Immediately Albus’ arms came to support you.

“Something is very wrong. I came to find Severus, I don’t know why I’m here.” You were oddly calm for someone practically panicking internally. It was an odd sensation.

“Come inside.” He led you into his office and sat you down asking why you thought something was wrong.

“I can feel it. I’ve felt this odd sense of dread for a while now until this morning when it left. Not five minutes ago did it come back worse than ever and I feel... Pained.” You thought about the feeling for a moment. Yes it was pain you felt now and Albus’ stared at you for a long time until he closed his eyes.

“It isn’t my place to speak for Severus so you must ask him but I can tell you this, He is going to need you more than he ever has now. Not as a second choice but as the only one he has ever needed truly.” You were absolutely baffled by what he said. It made no sense but all you knew was that Severus needed you.

“Should I go to him?” You whispered and he shook his head.

“I would advise you not to. He will return soon then I will take my leave.” You nodded slowly as he spoke.

“Might I stay here until he returns?” You asked flatly and stared at his desk.

“Of course.” He touched your hand.

You had fallen asleep at some point waiting for him, the numbness putting you to sleep but you woke up to Severus gently touching your shoulder with no sign of Albus.

“I’m sorry I missed Hallowe’en with you.” He sounded exhausted.

“It’s alright. What happened to you?” You had your head tilted back and looked directly into his eyes.

“Come.” He instructed and walked you to his living quarters where he sat you down next to him on a small sofa. He explained to you that Lily and James had been murdered by Lord Voldemort. He continued to explain his own hand in the scheme and some things you’d never expected nor wanted to hear. Though you were glad he seemed on the right path.

“I’m sorry, Severus. I know she meant the world to you.” You gently placed your hand in his in comfort but he flipped his palm up to take hold of your hand instead.

“I loved her, yes. She was not the one for me however. I ignored everything from you, even when it was my own pain I felt being mirrored back to me and I only came to realise that when you left to dance with that Lupin boy. I was angry at myself for not seeing you there all those years and I still took it out on you, as if you hadn’t tried. I suppose I’m telling you this now so no matter what you think about my choices right now, at least one of us got to say something.” You’d never heard him ramble like that before, only when he was arguing but this was a different type.

“It’s a lot to take in, Sev. I can’t deny that I’m happy you told me all that and frustrated that it took so long to get to this moment plus with all the extra information.” You paused for a moment and watched him retract his excitement from the situation. “I’ll adjust though. For now let’s take it one step at a time though?” You proposed and he nodded, a small smile creeping across his face but it was shadowed by the events of earlier.

“I’ll stay with you.” You whispered and leaned over to him, gently wrapping your arms over his shoulders and kissing his cheek. Neither of you knew how long you could stay with him but one step at a time right?

#reader insert #severus snape x reader #severus snape #snape x reader #snape #harry potter #fan fiction

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