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mafuluzx · 10 months

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Since ur writing requests... Hear me out on a Cole or Kai x m!reader🤭 like reader is like the most ethereal mf u could ever see and they r just nervous talking to reader about anything simple(it doesn't have to be a story it can be headcanon things!!!!)

ALRIGHT MY FIRST COMMISION HERE YOU GOOOOOOOOO! This thing is pretty detailed, but the tiny details can be changed with the power of your imagination. Now, here you go!

Kai x male reader oneshot!

Takes place in season 4, episode 2, Only One Can Remain.

Dancer boy

"Never before have so many Elemental Fighters been under one roof. I see Master of Fire, Earth, Shadow, Speed, even a prophesied Green Savior. And a former pupil has returned." Chen said as he motioned to the Elemental masters he spoke of.

The Elemental masters sat in a circle, just as Chen had planned. Not a single one of the invited was missing. The ninja kept their expressions schooled, for they couldn't show weakness in front of their future competition. Chen swayed on his chair like a child looking down at all his birthday party guests before pointing to a gong settled next to his chair.

"This symbol before you is for the fiercest Serpentine warrior to ever roam this land. Its creed: Only one can remain." The gong indeed had a symbol on it, a long snake with teeth sharp enough to bite through skin and bone: An Anacondrai. Chen then pressed a button on his chair, and the gong moved out of the way, revealing a bracket of how the tournament would go.

"Good, looks like we're each in our own bracket. We won't have to face each other for a while." Kai said in relief as Lloyd turned to him.

"Better find Zane before that happens." As Lloyd spoke, Chen's right hand man, Clouse brought him a chest, from which Chen pulled out a jade-green sword.

"Behold, a Jadeblade. Here, it represents life. Obtain it, move on. Allow your opponent to take it, loser. The rules are simple. Every match will be different. No two fights will be the same. Your powers will keep you in the Tournament. Use it or lose it." Chen explained as Karlof spoke up.

"Hm, what does Karlof win?"

"Win and stay on the island. Win it all, and you'll receive fortunes beyond your wildest dreams, and lifetime supply of Master Chen noodles. But no one is here because of noodles! You want the glory of being the greatest fighter in all of Ninjago!" Chen yelled as the Elemental masters, excluding the ninja, all cheered loudly.

"And what happens if they lose?" Garmadon's question cut through the cheering.

"Lose? Who here likes to lose?!" Chen asked sarcastically as everyone, excluding the ninja again, laughed.

"Now please, enjoy my island. It's a super fun happy place. Hahaha. Fun time on me. Oh, oh! But don't go just yet, I have a little show prepared for you all." Chen's words made Kai scoff and roll his eyes. Show? Really now? He didn't believe anything good would come of this. Chen clapped again as the main doors, which the elemental masters had come in from just a while ago, opened again.

A group of Chen's Kabuki started giggling in the corner as they hid their faces with their fans. Clouse threw them a glare, and they quieted down. There was a second of peace and quiet until Kai heard Griffin whistle, and one person whose name Kai didn't know let out a quiet "Wow..."

Now Kai's interest was peeked, and he finally turned to the door. Kai's eyes widened as his eyes fell onto the figure of a person dressed in elegant (f/c) robes. Slow footsteps sounded as the person walked to the center of the hall. Kai's eyes were now following the figure as they bowed to Chen. Chen laughed with a prideful smile before speaking up.

"I hereby present to you all, a dance like no other! Give it all you got." The last part was said as a command to the figure, who moved into a still pose, their eyes staring hazily at the floor as their hair fell slightly onto their face.

Suddenly a slow song started playing on the speakers littered around the hall, and the figure started moving. The movements were small, but they were smooth. The (f/c) robes draped and dragged behind the person as they danced. Kai's jaw fell open, and refused to close, no matter how hard he tried.

"Hmm... Not quite Chen's style." Garmadon pondered as he sipped down a cup of tea.

The person moved gracefully as their expression matched the tranquil tone of the song. Suddenly the pace of the music picked up, and so did the dancing. The calm swinging and spinning turned to sharp turns and jumps.

The dancers expression turned sterner, as he slid down to the floor. The choreography was something Kai had never seen before, and it made his eyes force themselves to keep open, refusing to miss even a second of the ongoing show.

Suddenly the person lifted their leg up, and Kai's face warmed up. There was another whistle from Griffin turner as the slit in the dancers robes revealed the persons leg. They were wearing short leg-wear resembling shorts, thankfully, but even one leg lift was enough to expose the rest of their leg.

The choreography lead the dancer to stand up again, as they threw their head back, making their (h/c) hair move along with them. The pace suddenly kicked up, before slowing down after a single, yet surreally high, leg throw. The music slowed down as the person slid to a pose on one knee, and the music stopped.

There was a moment of silence before Chen started clapping and cheering. The silence having been cut, elemental master after elemental master joined in the applause as the dancer relaxed, stood up, and bowed to Chen yet again.

"Thank you, (y/n)! That was amazing! Ah, It's probably good to mention, but (y/n) is also an esteemed guest of mine. He will join you during breakfast and lunch and so on." Chen explained as Griffin smirked behind his glasses. Kai noticed, and immediately threw the master of speed a glare.

"Now, you will be shown to your rooms." Chen added as a line of kabuki arrived and guided the fighters to their rooms. kai wasn't paying attention though. He stared after this (y/n) boy as he sighed, then walked into a room further away on the same floor as Kai's. After a few minutes of thinking about what just happened, Kai shook it away and left his room with the intention of exploring the place a little.

The first thing he saw made his blood boil. In front of the dancer boy's room stood Griffin, who knocked on it before calling out nonsense after nonsense.

"Could you at least open the door? You're being quite cold to me." And he knocked again. Kai then heard the voice of a boy speak up in a calm yet annoyed tone.

"Please, go away."

"How about we go on a walk? I already checked out the entire yard of this place and its pretty neat.

"Please, go away." Griffin received the exact same answer in the exact same tone. But Griffin made no move to leave.

"What abou-" Before Griffin could finish another sentence, Kai walked up to him.

"Hey. He told you to go away." Now that Kai had stepped up to Griffin, the master of speed grumbled before snapping at him.

"This is none of your business."

"It is, if you keep this up. I doubt Chen would be happy to hear someone was harassing another guest, hmm?"

"You-...Tch." Griffin let out before turning away and leaving. Kai scoffed at the master of speed before glancing at the door. He opened his mouth to say something, but instead just shook his head and left to continue exploring.

Then came the first challenge, Kai barely managed to move on while Karlof lost, and was thrown down to who knows where. The sun was starting to set, yet it wasn't too late to hang around yet. The ninja had planned to go exploring at midnight, but Kai had nothing to do before that.

So instead he took a stroll in the yard alone. He remembered Griffins words and hoped the man was speaking the truth when he said the place was 'pretty neat'. And surprisingly, neat it was. Kai at the pretty scenery before noticing something, no, someone sitting at the edge of a small man-made pond filled with colorful fishes. The person had sunk their feet into the water and stared at the lily pads floating over the water surface, until they too, noticed Kai.

It was the dancer boy, (y/n). Kai froze in place, and didn't know what to do. (y/n) just turned back to stare at the water as Kai stood still. His nerves kicking in, and remembering the leg lift from before, Kai turned on his heel and tried to leave, when (y/n) called to him.

"Not even going to say hello?"

"N-no, I m-mean yes, but I, ugh..." Kai's words got caught up in his throat, and he stopped trying. He turned back around and met (y/n)'s gaze as the boy stared at him silently. He was no longer wearing a set of different robes that constructed his beautiful looking dance outfit, and instead wore only the innermost white robe.

"Thank you." (y/n) suddenly spoke.

"H-huh?" Kai let out as (y/n) leaned his head on one of his knees.

"For helping earlier."

"Oh, I-I din't realize you saw me-" Kai lifted his hand and scratched his neck bashfully, when he was suddenly cut off.

"I didn't, I just recognized you from your voice." Kai stopped, before erupting in a blush of embarrassment. Suddenly (y/n)'s expression, which had been neutral the whole time, turned into a small smile as he chuckled. Kai's embarrassment disappeared and was replaced with a swarm of butterflies in his stomach.

"Sit with me?" (y/n) offered Kai, who took his time thinking about it, before he finally agreed.

"S-s-sure...!" The two shared a few words, nothing special, for Kai was too much of a nerve wrack to say much.

"What is your name?" (y/n) asked.

"It's Kai." Kai answered after clearing his throat. (y/n) nodded in aknowledgement before flashing him a smile.

"And your surname?"

"Smith." Kai answered as (y/n) turned away and giggled to himself.

"Hmm... Kai Smith... Ehehe..." Kai knew, he was either blessed with an angel, or this boy would give him a heart attack.

(,,>﹏<,,)

And as a little bonus...

"Yo." A voice said from next to the table where the ninja were eating breakfast the next day.

"Ugh, didn't you hear?! I said it's private!" Suddenly Jay stopped as the others turned to the one who spoke. Surprisingly, it was not Mr. Pale, who Jay had expected to be there, and instead there stood (y/n) with his breakfast tray. He was no longer wearing robes, whether those were simple white ones or regal ones for dancing. Now it was just a loose t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"(y-(y/n)!" Kai stuttered out as (y/n) flashed the team a nervous smile. Kai looked behind (y/n) to noticed that Griffin was eyeing them from afar, and quickly scooted over to give (y/n) space to sit with them. Kai tired to scoot further away, but since there were people already sitting with him, he was forced to sit shoulder to shoulder with the (h/c) haired boy. Cole noticed the look Kai was giving (y/n) and sighed.

"Oh boy, first Skylor, now him?"

Dang, this stuff oneshot stuff is difficult, I hope it isn't too lame.

#kai smith #kai x reader #ninjago kai #x male y/n #kai x male reader #ninjago #fanfic #ninjago x reader

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anncanta · 3 months

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***

It's amazing how some things reveal themselves when you look at them from the outside, through someone else's eyes, or after some time, when you forget the details that lie in the foreground and therefore seem obvious.

I couldn't figure out where I got this pattern in which Dracula in my fanfictions is very careful with Agatha the first time he bites her. It was so bright and acutely palpable, and it appeared again and again. Dracula behaves gently, he does not rush her and somehow makes her understand that it will not be painful and scary, and interesting discoveries await her. You see, it seemed to me that this was just my fantasy. Well, you never know what kind of kinks a person can have. Such light BDSM in a vampire way.

And then I understood, thanks to @moremoveslessannouncements-blog and her post, why. It's in the text. Fanfiction never lies. Fanfics always show what is in the canon, it just may be the main feature of the hero or plot or a secondary one. But in this case, everything was right before my eyes.

You see, I always thought that in the scene in the workshop, he was threatening her. ‘I will make you last’, ‘You'll be part of me’, ‘You'll travel to the new world in my veins’ ... This text is truly threatening. If it weren't for the body language that accompanies it.

Context is important, especially the physical, bodily context.

This is not a threat.

This is a threat.

If you forget about the text for a moment and watch what Dracula is doing, he slowly approaches her, looks at her intently, and gently runs his hand along her neck.

Let's turn on the sound and look at everything together. And again we ask the question – what is he doing?

I mean, not what are his actions, but what are they about?

And I'll tell you. He explains to her what will happen.

And when I realized this, I realized how blind I was. Because, well, look. How many of his victims did Dracula explain what he was going to do to them and how it worked?

Jonathan didn't even know what Dracula was doing until he found himself exhausted at his desk with the prospect of being locked in a box in a couple of weeks.

The Grand Duchess was eaten during a passionate waltz, without further ado.

Abramov and Portman were devoured almost without ceremony.

With Dorabella, Dracula made a good attempt to be polite and gallant but did not go into details of what was happening.

I purposely describe this so cynically so that it is clear what I mean.

Agatha is the only one of all Dracula's victims (perhaps except for Lucy, but that's a separate discussion) to whom he explains what would happen.

I only now realized what it was.

Let's return to Agatha's workshop. Dracula lets Mina go, and he and Agatha are left alone. He knows she's scared. He doesn't see, he knows it. He has an animal sense and can smell her fear. Agatha can be calm outwardly as much as she wants – he senses it. This is not yet Dracula we will see in the third episode, so it doesn't even occur to him to let her go. But he is interested in her. He likes her. And he – clumsily, in his own way, as best he can – calms her down. ‘Don't be afraid. You won't disappear. You will become a part of me. Your life will continue in the new world in a new form.’ And then this touch on the shoulder: ‘Hush, it won't hurt.’

I heard it. This appears in literally every text I write about them, one way or another. But I sincerely thought that it was my imagination.

If anyone still doubts it, then there is a scene between Dracula and Zoe in the third episode. Here, Dracula has already come a long way and therefore can express what he feels, not only with a gesture – now frankly intimate – but also with words. He can tell her this, still rather rudely and seasoned with mockery, but directly: ‘It doesn't have to hurt.’ The scene in his mind palace is not only a dialogue with Zoe here and now. This is a memory. He can afford more now. And he does. But it's still not quite ‘that’. We will see how he succeeded in the finale.

Well, to summarize, I would like to note that this entire storyline is missing in the script. It has the text that Dracula speaks on all three occasions (episode 1, in Agatha's workshop, episode 3, in the mind palace, and the finale), but it doesn't have the body language and subtle interactions that create this entire plot. Which is logical – the film and the script are not the same thing, the film is formed in the process of working on it, and some things are simply born on the set. But when the text is ready, they are impossible not to be noticed and impossible to be ignored. Luckily, fan fiction exists.

Thanks again @moremoveslessannouncements-blog.

#dracula bbc #dracula 2020 #bbc dracula #count dracula #agatha van helsing #dragatha #fanfiction

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lena-in-a-red-dress · 11 months

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Was listening to the Pitch Perfect soundtrack again and the finale got me thinking about further details.

Like maybe that they initially prepare the performance with Lena singing Becca's part, but after Lena pops off and insults singing/music (because she's stressed and can't figure out how to cope with enjoying it so much when she should be focusing on "more important" endeavors), Lena drops out and Kara keeps her distance-- because Lena managed to insult Kara in the process.

So when the song goes to Nationals, Kara doesn't expect Lena to be there. Except with the rest of the group's help, Lena hides backstage and slips on stage with them as they go on to perform. So Kara starts the song totally bummed out-- until she hears Lena start "Won't you, come see about me..."-- at which point her head whips around and her entire face lights up with happiness.

They sing together, grinning dopily into each others eyes, and continue the performance with renewed vigor. When they get to the back half, Lena grins.

"Grab somebody sexy tell em hey--" Lena thrusts an arm towards Kara, who takes it without hesitation and tugs them together with a spin. They're not the only ones who pair off and dance, but they're front and center in this section, and no one can take their eyes off them, even after they spin apart to continue the choreography.

"I put my haaaaands uh-uh-uh-up!" Lena's voice rings out loud and clear. Gone are her inhibitions, her reluctance to commit to a song let alone a person. Kara watches her friend move around the stage, looking as though she were born to it.

"We might not get tomorrow, let's do it tonight!"

Lena and Kara are meant to strike their final poses side by side, but at the very last moment Kara wraps her free arm around Lena's waist, swinging her close. Lena moves with the motion more readily than Kara anticipates-- they nearly bump into each other, and only just manage to hit their final beat facing each other, their hips flush amd chests heaving with exertion.

The applause that follows is deafening. Kara has never heard more than polite clapping for the Bellas since she joined the group two years ago-- this is something else. But even that falls away to nothing as Lena's gaze flickers to Kara's lips.

It's not the right time. Kara doesn't want their first kiss to be in front of hundreds of strangers. She settles for throwing her arms around Lena's neck and hugging her tight as the group releases and begins to celebrate with the audience.

"I love you!" Kara shouts into Lena's ear.

Lena laughs breathlessly, pulling away with joy in her eyes.

"I love you too!"

The words are nearly swallowed by the noise around them, still intimate despite their volume.

Little do either of them know, but a certain older brother sits in the audience, watching them both with a keen eye.

#supercorp #pitch perfect au #finale #i know i said i wasnt gonna do anything with it #but i apparently cant help myself #pray for me #back on my bullshit

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astoundingbeyondbelief · 10 months

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Kaiju Week in Review (June 25-July 8, 2023)

I picked a bad time to skip a week lol

Ultraman Blazar, the 35th entry in the Ultra Series, has made the scene. Episode 1 throws us right into a battle between humanity and a space monster. Blazar's the pushy type, all but forcing Gento to transform, but he doesn't speak Japanese—just yowls. For now, that makes him the show's central mystery. The show's defense team, SKaRD, won't actually form until the next episode, at which point we should have a better sense of it. But I'm intrigued so far.

Free streaming TV service Pluto TV has added a Godzilla channel. It boasts, or should soon boast, all of the Japanese Godzilla films minus King Kong vs. Godzilla and Shin Godzilla, plus Rodan, all the Mothra movies, The War of the Gargantuas, Godzilla (1998), and Godzilla: The Series. A Blu-ray.com user has composed a detailed rundown of the versions of the films used—short version, nothing we haven't seen before apart from a few small changes.

I got to see Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken before its official June 30 release date thanks to Regal's Monday Mystery Movie series. I guess I didn't retain much memory of the trailer, because it surprised me how early in the film the title character first grew into a kaiju. I can't give it an especially enthusiastic recommendation—comparisons to Luca and Turning Red are inevitable and don't flatter Ruby at all. But I get a kick out of seeing kaiju in such alien territory as a hyperactive animated kids' movie, and they continue to show off their flexibility as metaphors (Ruby is plainly neurodivergent). 7 outta 10.

Nimona dropped on Netflix the same day, and that's one anyone reading this column should sprint to watch. It saves its kaiju for the third act, and I've held off on posting much about that part of the story yet, but trust me, Ishiro Honda would be proud.

After years of lackluster Gorgo home video releases, Vinegar Syndrome seems poised to finally do it right in 4K Ultra HD. (If you're like me and don't have a way to watch such discs yet, don't worry, it comes with a Blu-ray.) New scan, new audio commentary, special features both new and old, and a killer cover. For those unfamiliar with the company, note that this release is "only available on [the Vinegar Syndrome] website and at select indie retailers. Absolutely no major retailers will be stocking them."

youtube

Every episode of Chibi Godzilla Raids Again is now subtitled, a fine excuse to get acquainted with one of the Reiwa era's biggest surprises. No stakes, no budget, just a bunch of Toho's biggest stars acting like a bunch of fools.

There's always more Godzilla toy news than this column can hope to cover, but a few highlights:

Bandai's ever-expanding Movie Monster Series will release Gamera 1965, Gyaos 1967, and Battra larva later this month. The defunct Daiei Kaiju Series last offered a Showa Gamera in 2006, and never covered any of his foes from that era; here's hoping Gyaos is the first of many.

Hiya Toys now has the license to produce figures from the Toho Godzilla films, not just the Monsterverse.

Super7 will be selling ReAction figures of Godzilla chomping some helpless people on a subway train at San Diego Comic Con. They just get it (and hopefully the many of us who aren't going will have some way of getting it that doesn't involve scalpers).

The new unit in Godzilla Battle Line is Monster X/Keizer Ghidorah. The former evolves into the latter after his first death. Keizer is a heavy hitter with a twist: he regains 20% of his health with every defeated foe. Great against swarms, but you don't see too many of those these days.

Believe it or not (many are still in denial), but Pacific Rim turns 10 on Wednesday. Thankfully, per this Tweet from director Guillermo del Toro, the effective start of the Kaiju Renaissance (and one of my all-time favorite films) won't go unrecognized on its first big anniversary. I'm guessing a cast reunion?

More translations from Noah Oskow await on Toho Kingdom, these a collection of synopses of early versions of Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II, and Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla from the Toho DVDs. Much of this has been translated in greater detail already, but the later drafts are interesting.

#kaiju week in review #godzilla #ultraman blazar #gorgo #pacific rim #ruby gillman teenage kraken #kaiju

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bhaalsdeepbat · 3 months

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Astarion's Big Day

I've been doing a multiplayer campaign with @justabiteofspite and I just. need to detail what happened across two in-game days of Astarion being the party face and fucking it all up.

So, to start it out, he NAILED his shit on the Nautiloid. He picked up Us, Spite's Tav, Catha, was able to get the flame sword (nice), and everyone escaped alive and with all the explosives I asked that we grab on the way.

Everything goes great until they hit the grove. When I say that we did NOTHING in the grove before I got us locked out. We entered, Astarion got a free ring from Mattis to remember his sin, then went to pay Kagha a visit. this is where everything immediately went sideways.

We're level 2 right? We're weak. Pathetic. We should not be doing anything but saying "Yes ma'am, no ma'am," but this is Astarion. He suddenly has freedom and he doesn't remember what consequences can be like not under Caz and unfortunately here, they're still pretty deadly.

So, Arabella didn't make it because Astarion tried to stay out of the Druid business, and that made him so mad. He tried to take the body to her parents and it caused the druids to turn. So, we killed Kagha, ran out and found the Druids just massacring the tieflings.

again, we are level 2.

Astarion tries to loot what he can and accidentally triggers the bears to see him, Lae'zel, and Catha. He sneaks the fuck off, the bears kill Catha AND Lae'zel, we do NOT have Withers yet and the game won't let me long rest without Catha being alive. So he has to sneak back into the grove, gets Catha, but leaves Lae'zel's dead body there, which meant the grove didn't close.

So they go back to revive Lae'zel, LEAVE HER THERE, make a beeline for the Goblin camp, and Astarion leads Minthara to the Druids. He steals the idol of Sylvanus, everyone gets to quickly rest so Minthara can come finish these assholes off, she does, and she wants to fuck Astarion real bad.

Catha did get a vision from selune that if Astarion didn't steal the idol of Silvanus before going to sleep, Minthara and ALL of the goblins would attack him and Lae'zel, then Catha and Shadowheart would enter initiative at a significant delay that caused this omniscient, omnipresent authority figure laugh forever before having to F8 because again...we were level 2 lol

Meanwhile, Catha and Shadowheart are making eyes at one another and Astarion is there egging on all of the Cleric of Seluna x Cleric of Shar drama. Like these two are what he watches when he's ready to wind down at night. They are his Days of Our Lives, and he sometimes will whisper shit in Catha's ear when he wants to see them go through a different storyline. She's real dumb, he will grow to love her, but he will fuck with her and give her ideas of shit to say.

Anyways we go to the goblin party and Astarion just gets BACK TO BACK sick burns. He had to gaslight Gale into staying, and the convo they had HOLY FUCK. I was speechless. Astarion was just standing there kicking rocks a little ashamed (not that he'd admit it, he was actually really angry) because that was scathing.

then he goes to talk to lae'zel who was FROTHING for him, then ends it with, "but I'M NOT GONNA FUCK YOU BC YOU IGNORED ME TOO MANY TIMES" like baby i'm so so sorry Astarion literally had her in the party instead of Gale TO talk to Zorru, but the shit with the Druids turning happened before I spoke to him and note to self do that shit first lmao

Astarion has to go spend the night with Minthy bc he needs ONE of these strong bitches to protect him, but her sex scene is. in the context of astarion's trauma, it was fucking triggering for him and so he wakes up day 3 angry, traumatized, and ready to just fucking go.

he did NOT like woodstock this year. too many bears. (i named the save file woodstock after the bear attack bc we had to pause there lmao)

they finally hit level 3 and it wasn't even by killing anyone. Idr what it was, but it was either discovering a place or just from a quest update lmao

So, level 3 made Astarion feel BALLER enough he started looking for a meal. Karlach wasn't edible, but she attacked first so they had to take her out. Astarion then led them to the Paladins of Tyr and just decided to start wiping them out. No convo. Only murder. He's feeling insecure and too vulnerable after his night with Minthy.

I have no idea who this man will end up with atp because the plan was gale, but shit went sideways real quick and i'm just going to roll with it organically.

#bat plays bg3 #i love multiplayer games they're so chaotic lmao #always hit me up if you need a chaos gremlin to add spice to your run lmmao #rping in video game format is so fucking fun lmao #astarion's big day #woodstock 1492 DR

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astxrwar · 6 months

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i care about quentin beck so much please keep telling us about your thoughts and ideas. i am so totally not normal about him, he just has so much potential!! i adored your third chapter of ties that bind, i love the way you write him and you have such a way with words. its just very well done and im so glad there’s at least one other person on this planet who thinks about him <3

AHHHH THANK U ILY we can be deranged about him together <3

rn i'm working on chapter 4 (which is already at fucking 7k! that's not even counting the like 4k+ miscellaneous stuff I already have written that will go in later chapters!!! im on such a writing bender rn it's insane)

manic brain puke (SO MUCH OF IT. SORRY!!! i have the normal amount of thoughts.jpeg) about the details below the cut if you're interested

buttt basically premise is there are a few scenes covering from like december to about march, next semester stuff, etc, some Plot Details (for once! lmao) about trying to figure out PhD stuff that will be Relevant later on and then when you have to stay late again in like. march. right before spring break when banner's off at a conference in toronto for two days you end up forgetting your apartment keys in his office so they're like. locked in there until he gets back. anyway basically all alternative plans end up not working out and you end up just going with quentin to his apartment which you both are sure (well HE is sure, you're less sure than you are Determined lmao. you are both fucking Wrong) will change things exactly Zero Percent.

(spoilers. it does actually change things a non-zero-percent. are you,,, perhaps,,, friends now??? unthinkable)

anyway my thoughts are basically 1. atp you guys finally exchange phone numbers 2. you both realize actually hooking up in somebody's apartment (either of yours) is way better than hooking up on the sly in the bio building and then 3. your hot water boiler goes out in may and you end up there AGAIN for like a WEEK and stuff changes MORE and then 4. there starts to be some light angst and like. non-platonic feelings on both ends. shit starts to get messy because you start thinking about doing your dissertation in stark's lab and quentin is like. "absolutely fucking not and no I won't explain why <3" because of course they have beef.

quentin did his postdoc under tony in this au lol. he hates him because tony fucked up a patent for something quentin invented during the postdoc and it lost him a lot of money; obviously tony is stupid fucking rich (he owns and funds an entire university! insanely rich) but quentin is Not so it like. kind of irreparably broke their relationship. tony feels Bad and that's why 1. quentin is tenured despite being technically too young and gets paid a stupid amount for academia; like at least 100k. 2. he's not required to take on undergraduate researchers in his lab (a hassle, requires lots of teaching, usually a requirement for academic research) and 3. doesn't technically have to take on PhD students either. but he does not really tell you any of this explicitly, the details kind of just come together over time, and he definitely does not say why the thought of you joining stark's lab has him being like "absolutely fucking not lmao". a big part of it is that quentin is like... aware that tony just kind of Collects smart people (like him, bruce banner, basically the entire staff + his PhD students and postdocs) and in quentin's stupid little emotionally stunted baby brain he's like "he can't have this one!!!! this one is mine,,, >:((" and does he communicate this at all? no! mans is pathologically allergic to normal emotional availability sldkfsd

so despite historically avoiding taking on PhD researchers he's like. I will let you do your work in my lab if you don't go join stark's lab. But then the issue becomes like... dude you can't be my PhD advisor, we're fucking. that's not allowed. even just fucking your PI (lab manager basically) is a massive no-no and if it got out it would bring into question the reliability of literally all of your research (the fact aside that Quentin would never lie about science for anything. even for love. fuck that shit the way that he cares about people is by absolutely tearing their work to pieces not by pretending bad science is good. literally why he bothers you all the fucking time That's How He Cares It's Incredibly Dysfunctional but i digress) but i'm imagining that it's not really explicitly outlawed in the official code of ethics because it's tony stark's university lmao. He Is A Whore i'm sure he's fucked a lot of his PhD students/postdocs/etc. (Im thinking of having quentin and tony maybe have a past history when he did his postdoc. bisexual quentin supremacy. but also because it adds another layer to the whole "i do not want you to be around him At All" because he knows that tony is functionally incapable of having normal relationships with students. it's the ways that they are very similar but also very different etc etc) basically it becomes a whole deeply emotionally fraught Mess. bruce banner agrees to still be your PhD advisor despite you not doing work in his lab which is uncommon but not unheard of, but it's still like. either you and Quentin need to Stop Fucking or you need to agree that you're never going to have a bad breakup (I say this as if it's even a mutually agreed upon relationship and not just two morons incapable of admitting they care about each other) because it would absolutely ruin both your careers. angst(TM)

I probably will not make it an unhappy ending because I hate those. I have no idea how I'm going to end it though tbh

#THANK U FOR INDULGING ME LSDLSJFJSDLFJSF #ask #ties that bind meta #THIS GOT REALLY LONG SORRY I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

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faioula16 · 2 years

Text

Eternal companion chap3

Your demon: Care for his mate

Your demon was over the kitchen, both hands quite busy preparing the first and most important meal you'd have for the day. Humming the very familiar lullaby he sings to you every night in hopes for you to have the sweetest of dreams.

He much prefers to cook without gloves when it comes to your meals or when touching you in general. His fingers brushed together as he added the pinch of salt here and there, it hurt yes since salt is a bit toxic for a demon's skin. But this one is willing to suffer the worst of agony if it means for you to be happy and protected.

With the tray full of food in his hand, he was finally ready to go back to your room. However, his satisfied smile quickly dropped and a disgusted glare took its place across his devilishly handsome face. You see, your Husky dog was blocking the demon's way.

The dog sat right before Sébastian's tall figure with his tongue out while panting. Poor thing he couldn't resist the delicious smell of the goodies Sébastian had prepared especially for you.

"I strongly suggest you move aside right away. Such high-quality ingredients are not meant to be wasted by such a lowlife creature like yourself" He walked over to the door that led to the backyard. "Come now, get out and stay there until I'll be back" His cold tone along with the cruel glare of the demon's fuchsia eyes made your Husky let out a frightening whine and run outside.

Sébastian let out a deep sigh, expressing his hatred for the creature as he closed the door behind him, and then made his way upstairs to your room.

The door's cracking sound took your attention when you saw Sébastian walking inside while humming your lullaby. You watched as he placed the covered tray over the bed table.

With a soft smile and closed eyes, he embraced you with one arm while the other fixed the pillows of your bed. "There we go" He whispered and placed you gently with your back to rest against the fluffy pillows. When he made sure you were sitting comfortably the sinny tray was placed on your lap and with a graceful move Sebastian removed the lid, finally fully presenting your breakfast.

You smiled happily and pulled Sébastian for a hug. "Thank you Sébastian...for everything"

He chuckled and returned the hug. "Darling, you mustn't thank me at all. It's my duty and pleasure to take care of you in every single way" He explained softly as he placed a napkin under your chin while his other hand held the fork. "Now..." He put some food on the silver object and brought it close to your mouth. "Say ahh..."

You were about to tell him you could eat by yourself perfectly fine but his loving expression perverted you from doing so and just accepted his offer.

"That's it, what a good kitten you are~ From now on I will make sure you eat well at all times. I would never forgive myself if my precious mate went hungry. I am cursed to suffer starvation only to feed on a worthy soul, have a full stomach for 200 years, and then...go hungry again. I will never allow you to suffer like this. I will satisfy you in every possible way, if I couldn't take good care of my mate, then what kind of lover would I be?" Sébastian spoke joyfully while feeding you.

"Will you be back tonight? You promised me we'd go out to celebrate my birthday which was yesterday" You managed to say before a piece of bread with butter and blueberry jam was put in your mouth.

Your demon laughed softly and nodded his head in response. "Of course kitten how could I possibly forget? However, if things go well with the young master, I will come and pick you up after your lunch time and we may have more reasons to celebrate"

"What do you mean exactly-" You were suddenly cut off guard when he left a soft peck on your lips and got off the bed with the tray of leftovers in one hand. "I won't spoil any more details of my surprise to you just yet but I am more than certain that is going to make both of us very happy indeed. Now you should get dressed and come downstairs when you're ready, we still have some more time left to spend together. Unless..." He leaned down to your level and whispered. "If you'd prefer some entertainment~" You felt his tongue give a slow and long lick to your ear.

"I will be ready in a few minutes!" You almost shout as you get off the bed to grab the clothes that Sébastian had set out for you and enter the bathroom.

Sébastian's shocked face couldn't remain more than a few seconds as he let an amused laugh escape from his lips. Such tricks never get old, especially when he gets to see such adorable reactions from you.

#sebastian michaelis #romance #fluff #x reader #sebastiian michaelis x reader #sebastian michaelis x you #black butler #kuroshitsuji #Black butler Fandom #Black butler fanfiction #Kuroshitsuji Fandom #Kuroshitsuji fanfiction #Black butler image #One shot

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greywindys · 5 months

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show us the neopets! /lh (you don't have to if you don't want to)

Ahhh I'll do so happily!! I've been holding onto this ask because I needed a time where I could sit down and adequately screenshot everything. Warning for Neopets!! I'm probably going to use a lot of jargon that makes no sense to non-players, but that's just how it is. If you have any interest in more detailed explanations about wtf I'm talking about, I would check Youtube! There have been some great videos released in the past month outlining the mechanics of the game, the lore, recent events etc. Anyhow...

This is my Gelert, Lightning (misspelled as "Lighting" because little kid me couldn't spell). He is the very first pet I ever created. I might update his paint job soon to something more exciting, but I also like the simplicity. His petpet (recently painted Spring) is named after my IRL dog. I love them both.

This is Butters, my second oldest pet. Idk what I was thinking when I was naming him. Actually no, I do - my little kid self was edgy. But I can't ever part with him because he's from my childhood. I somehow managed to transfer him (along with Lighting) across two accounts without losing him, he is a relic. That won't be his permanent petpet either. I'm still figuring that one out 🤔

And here we are veering at least slightly on topic - my Lupe, Murdoc. Or Murdocs, since the actual "Murdoc" name was taken. I made him after a long hiatus from the site when I returned briefly (only to leave again up until now). If I truly wanted to commit to making a pet that represents Murdoc, I probably should have chosen a bug or reptilian species...but I don't want a bug or reptilian species ever. His petpet is a reference to the yak he got 2D during P5 fkadlfa. I'd like to ultimately find him one that looks like The Evangelist, but the petpet i have in mind is like, 10 million neopoints, or something insane like that. And I can't get him Cortez. Why, you might ask? Well...

This is Sanemi. His character has been a wolf in canon, but since I already had Murdoc, I opted for a cat instead, which I think is also fitting. He's typically associated with the colors green, white, and black, but his eyes are purple, so Wraith it was. The leaves are probably as close as I'll get to creating a "wind breathing" effect, and I'm working on finding him an appropriate sword (it's not going well jkadal). He has a few pets, but the only named one is his crow, Sorai. I don't want doubles anywhere if I can help it, so no Cortez for Murdoc.

This is Sansa, named for Sansa Stark from ASoIaF/Game of Thrones. Her petpet is Lady, named after her late direwolf (RIP). I couldn't not have a GOT reference somewhere, and I also love Woodland Unis.

This is Rusalka, named after my current favorite song by the Decemberists. I'm probably going to change her color to faerie soon-ish, despite the fact that I chose Maraquan in the first place because of the song and name reference. But they're bringing back the original Faerie Neopet art sometime this year, and I love the way faerie Ixis look, and I always wanted one when I was younger (I was too poor back then).

This is my second-newest pet, Kacchan. He's a Kacheek (Get it? Kacchan, Kacheek lmao). I finally settled on how I wanted my Bakugou pet to look. I still have to get him a few more accessories, namely a mask and a glitter effect, because in case you didn't know, canon Bakugou is literally sparkling right now. I also intend to change his petpet. The one he has now is just filler until I can save up for the paint brush I need.

And this is my brand new pet, 2Doc! Sjfkaldfj. I outsmarted the system - "2Doc" might have been taken, but Twodoc was not. She isn't staying that color, might not be staying that species, and definitely won't be keeping that petpet. She's currently call a "lab rat." It'll take to long to fully explain, but basically, if you collect a certain amount of map pieces, you can unlock the secret lab ray where you can zap your pet once a day. It's completely random and can changes species, color, gender, and stats. I plan on zapping her until it feels right, but I kinda want her to be zap Burlap or Plushie atm. We'll see what happens! In this specific pet's case, it's more about having the name than having an accurate customization.

And finally, this is my Giyuu/Sanemi pet. There aren't really a lot of references here, I again mainly thought it would be funny to have a pet named after a ship, and I created him at a time when I didn't think a 2Doc pet was obtainable. And if we're being completely honest, this ship is better than 2Doc anyways. I also love Plushie pets and the fact that most people probably wouldn't be able to tell that he has a ship name just from looking at the collection of letters. It's stealth lmao.

So, notably missing from this list is a Succession inspired pet. I more than anyone, want, no need to make a Succession pet soon, but the species I have in mind is limited addition, and can only be created on their specific day (the anniversary of the day they were first released). So unless I want to blow through half of my life savings (in neopoints, not actual money), I have to wait until April. Which rn, is what I'm doing unless I'm very fortunate in my dailies or weekly prize.

Anyhow, those are my pets so far!

#asks.#Anonymous #long post #cringe but free

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duckprintspress · 2 years

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Hi, Friendly anon here! I was wondering if y'all had any updates on your projects? I found a reference to a Trello taskboard thing that looked like it might have some but I got waaaaay confused trying to understand it. How goes everything?

Hey anon!

Yeah, we've publicly shared our Trello here but for someone who's not familiar with how Trello boards are set up I can absolutely see how it could be confusing. So I'm figuring I can answer this Ask two-fold: first with what we're actually up to right now, and second with a quick how-to that'd hopefully help with understanding the Trello in the future.

Current Projects and Their Statuses:

And Seek (Not) to Alter Me: Kickstarter fulfillment is complete except for people who haven't done their backer surveys. We are planning to release the e-book and some surplus merch on our website on October 1st, so we've been doing work related to that: taking pictures, preparing shop listings, working on our controlled vocabulary, etc.

He Bears the Cape of Stars and She Wears the Midnight Crown: we've got virtually all the merchandise here and ready to go with a few exceptions; the bath bombs still need to be repackaged, the patches are currently shipping and are slated to arrive on Wednesday, and chocolates we won't get until it's time to ship, so they won't spoil while sitting around waiting. We're still hard at work on the books themselves and the stories. There are a total of 36 stories in the two collections; as of right now, 19 stories are completely done/edited/ready to go, and 7 more are close (at the final step before completion). The rest are in various stages of editing. We've ended up behind our originally (intentionally optimistic) projected schedule for a variety of reasons, but we're well within the range of our more "pessimistic" projections, which had us fulfilling in March or so. As it is, we expect to be able to complete fulfillment/ship people's purchases in early November.

Our Next Anthology: we've been hard at work on the planning for our second Queer Fanworks Inspired By... anthology. We've hammered out all the details, figured out a schedule, got a title, drafted and edited the websites and surveys that include the rules, guidelines, recruitment stuff, etc., and we anticipate launching recruitment (which will mostly be internal) on October 1st.

An Enamel Pin Campaign: we originally intended to launch a campaign featuring only enamel pins in September. We're still planning to launch it, but we had so many ideas that we've struggled to narrow them down, and so odds are we'll be launching this in October instead. Right now, we've narrowed it to a specific theme and right now we're voting on which specific pins we want within that theme.

General Business Tasks: as we're getting closer to finishing the stories for He Bears the Cape of Stars and She Wears the Midnight Crown we've been tackling a back-log of more general tasks. For example, we've opened up opportunities for authors we've worked with to publish their solo original works (as in, personal projects by our authors instead of themed anthologies) and we're in the process of reviewing the interest checks people sent in, gathering more information from the authors, and getting the ball rolling on having more stand-alone/solo projects coming down the pipes. This is an essential step in widening the scope of what we publish, and we are aiming to start getting out roughly a novel a quarter starting this winter. Also, starting in October, we expect to publish a short story per week on our website, though we're still getting the ducks in a row to make that a reality so consider that tentative, not official. We've also also been expanding the resources part of our website, preparing a style guide, an e-book formatting guide, a fandom lexicon, and more. Our resource-related posts have tended to be well-received, and also because the resources are free we consider providing them an important part of our mission of helping fanfiction author publish their works: even someone who never works with DPP can benefit from a public, free, thorough, professional-level guide that helps them format their story for e-book publication without needing any special/expensive software, for example.

That's...all the basics I think? there's also a continuous background buzz of Things That We Do - regular blogging, daily monitoring/upkeep on our social media, maintaining our Patreon and ko-fi accounts, accounting, end-of-month and beginning-of-month fiscal activities, etc. - all the day-to-day activities that keep a business (even a business as small and new as this one) running.

How to Navigate the Trello

So, while we're still hammering out the details on how best to organize the Trello for utility both for us as we organize things and to the public - in particular, I'm going to need to tweak how it's set up if we're going to effectively use the built-in calendar functionality - here's how it's set up now.

LISTS:

The highest level of organization on a Trello Board is the lists. We've currently got a whole bunch of different lists.

At a Glance: this is the "overview" lists. It includes all of our current projects, and all of our regular/general management. Those are organized on Cards - more on that next.

Merchandise: lists all the merchandise we've currently got in production/in process, and what their current status is. (it does NOT include merch produced for past campaigns/activities)

After those two, we have a whole bunch of lists that all serve the same function: they indicate what stage of editing we've completed for each of a number of stories we're currently working on.

Developmental - Writing in Progress: first draft isn't done

Developmental - Draft Completed: first draft is done, waiting for an editor

Concept Editing - First Pass Completed: a concept-edit run has been returned to the author and is pending their review

Concept Editing - Second Pass Completed: a second concept-edit run has been returned to the author and is pending their review.

Copy - First Edits Completed: a SPAG edit run has been returned to the author and is pending their review.

Copy - Second Pass Completed: a second SPAG edit run has been returned to the author and is pending their review.

Copy - Final Edits Completed: a final/clean-up SPAG edit run has been returned to the author and is pending their review.

Final Edits Approved, Contract Sent and Pending Signature: the author has approved the final edit run and has been sent their contract.

Story Completed, Contract Signed, Author Paid, Preliminary Formatting Done: what it says on the tin

Typesetting - First Pass: the typesetter has done the first run on formatting the story for print.

Typesetting Completed: what it says on the tin.

Not every single story ends up needing every single one of these, and sometimes stories need more concept or SPAG runs than this, but we thought this division reflected the process stories go through most often. We've given the stories basic anonymizing so that no author feels "called out," though more often than not it's the editing team that's behind, not the authors.

Long-Term Ideas, Lists, Information We May Need Someday: the last of our lists is what it says on the tin. We keep track of ideas for future anthologies, potential merch, things we've thought of and went "we can't do that now but maybe someday..." etc., and we just toss it all there so that the ideas don't get lost.

CARDS:

Every List is composed of Cards. Each Card reflects one category of "thing that needs to be done." There are a lot of ways to actually set up lists and cards (and we may change ours in the future) but currently, we have:

Cards for all our main projects/overarching "areas" in which we're working. These are on the At a Glance List.

Cards for all currently in-progress Merchandise, on the Merchandise list.

Cards for all stories we have in-progress at the moment, on the appropriate Lists for their current status.

Cards for some over-arching categories of "things for not now," on the Long-Term Ideas list.

All the Cards on At a Glance have the same basic structure. If you click on the Card, you'll be able to see sub-tasks/checklists related to the items on that list. For example, here's the Recurring Tasks Card:

This is one of the most complex of the Cards, as it includes all the activities we engage in daily, weekly, monthly, and annually to keep the business running smoothly. Other "management" related Cards on this list include two related to our weekly management meetings and monthly all-server meetings, and the General Task Card, which lists a whole slew of background activities that we've been working on and/or intend to do (divided into separate checklists for each category, cause there are just so many).

Then, below the the general Cards the cards for specific projects. Here's the one for He Bears the Cape of Stars and She Wears the Midnight Crown.

This, and the other specific project Cards, list all the tasks we currently know of/have thought of that need to be done for the given project. The checklists give a quick idea of what the task is, and indicates the current status of that task. A few also have dates attached to them, though not most cause we don't tend to treat deadlines as that "hard" internally - we prefer to maintain flexibility considering how many people are involved in these projects and how complex all our lives are and how the world just, ya know, is right now.

As we complete tasks, we move them into the Comments section at the bottom of the Card. Because we only recently implemented this public system (previously, we worked from a private Trello that looked a lot like this but was just a bit messier and not designed to be viewed by outsiders, like, we used a lot of shorthand, that kind of thing) it doesn't include tasks completed before we implemented this system, but we've been doing our best to keep on top of it since we opened the public Trello a couple weeks ago. For example, here's the completed tasks for our upcoming anthology that we expect to open recruitment for on October 1st:

So, I think that's the basic?

Because we want to use the Calendar more, we may end up breaking out more of the individual tasks currently listed on checklists on Cards into their own Cards, since the Calendar mostly functions at the Card-level, not at the checklist-item level. If we do that, we'll likely make additional Lists for our main active projects, with cards for each task that is currently a checklist item. However, that's not going to happen immediately just cause there are higher priority things to be done.

If there's something more specific that you're finding confusing, I'm happy to put together a tutorial - I tend to figure that if one person has a question and actually tells me they have a question, there are at least a half-dozen other people who had the same question and decided for whatever reason not to ask, and as you likely know, anon and everyone else reading this, we're committed to transparency, and the Trello is one of the biggest, newest facets of that, so ensuring it's navigable for new comers is really important to us. It's hard to create a public-facing system that maintains a certain degree of confidentiality and still serves our needs for managing the business, and also just - we've got a lot going on basically all the time (and more and more as we grow), so there's a lot that has to go on there, which means by necessity it's kinda complicated. I do worry that if it's really complex, it'll serve to create obscurity instead of transparency, but...well, we're doing our best, and we'll keep doing our best, and we hope that when questions/issues/concerns/delays/etc. do arise, people will continue to be as patient with us as they have been! <3

Hope that helps, and thanks for sending an ask!! We're always here to help. <3

#unforth replies #faq #duck prints press #trello #transparency

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desicroft02 · 2 years

Text

Depressed (TW)- JJ Maybank x Fem Reader

Before I write this, it is going to be very detailed about things that are going on in my life right now, and I'm going to be relating Covid with the show, because that's where a lot of my current issues come from.. It will start off by me ranting about things happening using "I" and my name, and then it will transition into an actual imagine and JJ being there for me (but it'll be Y/N) now if that makes sense. This was really just a way for me to get things off my chest, but writing these has helped me escape reality that's why I am doing this. This is going to be upsetting to read, so please if you can't handle it don't read it. The whole thing is literally a giant trigger warning. The TW for this are anxiety, depression, self harm, alcoholism, and miscarriage

Fourteen deaths. Fourteen deaths I've had between family and friends this year. Fucking COVID-19 ruined everything. Aunts, uncles, cousins, a second father figure, and my brother in law. On top of it, my dad was thrown into jail days before my Thanksgiving. My dad who I was finally connecting with, finally spending time with. He was caught one too many times with unregistered vehicles, DUIs, carrying weed, and not having a license. About 2 1/2 months ago on his birthday, he went to the bar and got drunk and crashed into a gas station sign and ripped it out of the concrete.

He had a court date, but one night past midnight a police officer knocked on the door asking where he was, and my mom said he wasn't home. They had come with a warrant for his arrest regarding the court dates he had missed. He was going to turn himself in the day after we had our early Thanksgiving (we always do it before so family can go to other families houses). He was moving his car around to the back of the house that Sunday, so family could park in the front. The cops just happened to be driving down the road. He was also drinking that morning, a beer in his cup holder. My mom and aunt screamed at them to wait and that we were having our whole family over today. (Mind you I was at work for 5:30AM) and I didn't find this out until I had gotten home around 12.

I was torn apart. I had gotten home and my mom said "Desiree. We need to tell you something, put your things down. The cops came by today and took your father." Tears rolled down my cheeks and I looked over at the coffee I made him with Dad❤️ drawn on it. I started hyperventilating, struggling to breathe. I then went on with my day pushing myself away from the family at the party. Fast forward to not even 3 weeks later. My older sisters fiancée died from Covid at 32 years old. The worst part? They are expecting a child in April. I wanted to be there for her but she's already terrified of Covid, and now even more. Out of all my siblings she was going to be the first to have a child.

My first time being an aunt and having a nephew. And I can't even be there for her. 2 ish weeks later is the funeral, which I go to. I walked in and there was pictures and collages of him and everyone he knew. The second picture shown when you walked in is a huge picture of him and my sister. I couldn't breathe and I started sobbing hysterically, feeling the room cave in as I tried walking outside. Once I calmed down I went and talked to my sister who was broken down and barely talking. I went to hug her but due to Covid she said "please just stay away." After awhile of talking, I walked over to his urn. I told him thank you for being such a good man to her, and that he would've been a great father. "I'll be there for them as much as I can." I had said. What a great Christmas present, a funeral a week before. My dads not here for her, and he won't be here for anyone at Christmas. I can't even visit him because of Covid, and his court date isn't until the second week of January, so I don't even know how long he will be there. I'm falling apart faster and faster and there's nothing I can do about it. The depression and anxiety medicine I was taking made me nauseous so I had to stop. I've turned to smoking and drinking as a way to cope.

———Now to JJ being there for Y/N———

You haven't been hanging out with the rest of the Pogues for the past month or so due to the fucking pandemic, and because you've been in a really bad depressive episode. You barely even saw your boyfriend JJ. You love talk talking to him about things, but you feel bad talking to him about your father because his is a piece of shit. Same with Sarah, and John B- well his dad is dead. That left Pope and Kiara to talk to about your father, but even then you just felt like a burden, so you kept your mouth shut. When it all first happened, you called JJ having a panic attack and he left work to calm you down. You told the rest of the Pogues but acted like it didn't bother you. The most you said was "It's better for him to be there than to hurt others or himself while driving intoxicated."

Whenever they asked, you just said you were doing better because he was in a safe place, being able to detox and sober up. Then, you just stopped hanging around about a week after because the new variant was spiking from the holidays, and quite honestly, you prefer being alone. Less things for your friends to add onto their already long to do list. They didn't need to help you and waste their time. They always asked "Hey Y/N, how are you today?" or "Did you want to hangout?" And then once your brother in law died, you ghosted. You told them over the groupchat, and muted everything. JJ repeatedly called you, but you didn't answer. How could this all be happening? So many deaths, and the urge to be a sort of father figure for your nephew that was yet to be born. You and JJ were so excited for him to be born. Even though you weren't married, JJ was still seeing himself as an uncle.

You felt as if there was going to be karma with having children for the rest of you and your siblings. I mean, the first one going to be born and the father dies? Not to mention the fact your sister might get so stressed she could have a miscarriage. You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at your phone. 15 Missed calls and 4 texts from JJ. You haven't seen him since the funeral 5 days ago. You told him you needed space, and you figured the rest of the gang convinced him to stay away.

Baby 9:48AM - Good morning cupcake, I love you

Baby 10:12AM- Can I come over today? Christmas Eve is tomorrow and I want to stay a few days

Baby 11:46AM- I miss you babygirl

Baby 12:13PM- Wake up love, I'm coming over. I'm so worried about you

You 1:08PM- Hi J. I love you too. And I miss you. Can you bring me a hot tea please?

Baby 1:08PM- Hi Y/N. Of course. I will be there in 20 minutes. Be prepared for cuddles, I love you.

You groaned and rolled out of bed looking at yourself in the mirror. You haven't showered since the funeral, your hair is starting to get matted, and your clothes are stained. You've been in the same sweatpants, sweatshirt, socks, and underwear. You've done absolutely nothing the past 5 days besides sleep. "Maybe I should pick up this mess before he comes over." There are piles of dirty and clean clothes everywhere, including your funeral clothes. You looked over to see the letter and drawing from your dad that arrived yesterday. He's been drawing in his cell, and he wants to buy colored pencils from commissary so he can send more. Shit, you were supposed to send him a Christmas card. You rummaged through your desk looking for some card stock, and you drew on the back of it, writing him a paragraph on the front. Your mom can send it later for you.

You looked at the time, and it was almost 1:30. JJ would be here soon, and you still haven't cleaned yourself up, never mind your room. You quickly went to your drawers, trying to find clothes to wear, and ran to your bathroom. You took your shirt off to reveal the fresh cuts from last night. You took off your pants only to reveal more. "Makeup, makeup." you mumbled looking through the bathroom drawer. "Fuck." is all you said before throwing clothes back on and going back to your room looking for some. You ran into your room almost tripping over your feet only to see a teared up JJ on your bed holding something small. "B- baby, how long have you been doing this?" he asked, holding up your razor. How could you forget it was on the other pillow on your bed.

"I. Well um." you tried saying, but instead choked up. You dropped to your hands and knees on the floor struggling to breathe. You were getting dizzy and it's probably because you haven't been eating either. JJ jumped off the bed crawling on the floor down to you, holding you. "Babygirl, it's okay, I'm here now. What have you been doing these past 5 days?" You couldn't talk, so he started rubbing your back and playing with your hair. "Y/N, lets go on your bed, come on." He helped you lift yourself up and sat you down on the bed. You looked down at the ground and he stuck his finger under your chin lifting your head up. "Y/N, I need to know what's been happening and what's going through your head. We can do it slowly, but I need to know, okay?" a few tears rolled down his cheeks and you nodded.

"Ever since the funeral, after I told you to give me space, I've been in these clothes, laying in bed." "Okay, have you eaten anything?" you shook your head no. "Does your mom know what's going on?" "No, I pretend I'm okay when she comes up." he rubbed your hands. "And how long have you been hurting yourself for?" you trembled, crying some more. "Ever since Saturday night. I started thinking of everything going wrong and how dads not here, and how my sister won't have the father of her child, and how that was the 14th death this year and how the holidays are here and everything is just fucked up." you choked out. He pulled you into his chest now, caressing your cheek with one of his hands, kissing your forehead. "I'm going to help you clean up okay? You nodded but replied "Can we do my room first? Please J?" he shook his head "No honey, you need to eat, drink water, brush your hair and teeth, and shower. I don't know how long your room will take but it is very important you eat babygirl." you huffed but agreed.

"Do you want one of my t shirts to change into after? I brought my pj pants so we can match Y/N. Remember? Our Christmas ones?" A small smile went to your face and you went over to your drawer picking them out, along with a pair of clean underwear and socks. "Lets go put them in the bathroom, and find something to eat." You went and put your things in the bathroom and walked to the kitchen. Thankfully your mom was at work. JJ was grabbing a small soup pan, and another pan to make grilled cheese. "I'm making you chicken soup and grilled cheese love. For now, you're going to try to eat half the sandwich and half a bowl of soup." He knew that was your comfort food. Back about 6 years ago, you were in your first depressive episodes, going through self harm, thoughts of suicide, and not eating. JJ was only your bestfriend then, but he was always there to make sure you were okay.

He heated up the soup, and made the grilled cheese, kissing your face all over in between, while hugging you. "Here baby, I'll eat with you." He took half the sandwich for him, and the other half for you. Soon after, pouring the soup into 2 bowls. You felt nauseous just looking at it. You took two bites of the sandwich and he smiled at you while taking spoonful's of soup. You blew on it first, tasting a few spoonful's. You sat for a few minutes letting it digest while taking three more bites of the sandwich. Only a few more bites left. You started eating more soup, but your stomach was hurting too much. "J, I'm done for now. After some tums and a shower I'll eat some okay?" you gave him a weak smile. You went into the bathroom, and saw your hair in the mirror. "We have to brush it first, and then I can shower. From the bottom up." you showed him how to brush your hair, and you did one side while he did the other.

You flinched a little every time, because it hurt, so you took breaks between sides instead of brushing at the same time. About 45 minutes later, you were finished. JJ smiled down at you kissing your forehead "I love you, I'm proud of you. You ate, and brushed your hair. Does your stomach feel better love? Do you want to finish eating" "Yes, but can I shower first? I stink." you laughed. "Do you want to do it yourself or do you want help?" You got on your tiptoes and kissed him. "Can you help J?" "Yes my love." he smiled and kissed your lips slowly and softly. You turned the water on, grabbing a washcloth and taking your clothes off. JJ got in first, helping you in. He let you get under the water, but you immediately winced from the water touching your cuts. "Baby what's wrong?" he asked. "The water, it. It hurts my cuts." you mumbled looking at the ground. He cupped your face in his hands and made you look into his beautiful blue eyes. "We need to clean them, but we can do your arms first, and then your legs. All separately, and not at once so it doesn't hurt you at the same time okay?"

You lifted your arm and he gently rubbed the dried blood off with the cloth, quickly going to the other. He kissed your forehead and held your hands. "That wasn't so bad was it Y/N?" you had some tears rolling down your cheeks, but you shook your head no. He got on his knees and started rinsing off your legs. They didn't hurt as bad a your wrists did. He came back up between kisses said "You're so beautiful." You smiled into the kiss, wrapping your hands around his neck. "You need to clean up too JJ. But, can I wash your hair?" you loved playing with his hair, and he loved it too. He washed himself up, and stuck you under the water to warm up. He scrubbed the coconut smelling shampoo into your scalp, making you lean you head back from the feeling. You rinsed it out, and he continued to stroke conditioner through your hair. Once he was done, you made him go under the water.

"J you need to lean down so I can reach your head." you giggled. He leaned forward a little and you curled his hair between your fingers before rubbing the shampoo onto his scalp. He rinsed it out and you finished off with rubbing conditioner through his blonde locks. He rinsed his hair off and pulled you under the running water with him, hugging you. "I love you so much Y/N. Are you all done or did you want to shave? I'm going to help if you do though." You looked down at your legs. You were planning on wearing a skirt tomorrow, and with clean sheets and your soft pjs, freshly shaven legs would feel amazing. "I can shave." He watched you closely as you started shaving your legs, to make sure you didn't do anything bad with the razor. Once you got up to the cuts on your thighs you looked up at him "Can you do it please? Gently. And hold my hand?" He grabbed your hands, kissing them before taking the razor and holding only one hand now. He went over the cuts and you winced. "Okay, okay. Can we just not shave over them? I want to get out." You tried rushing out, but he pulled you into a hug, rubbing your back. "Shh it's okay baby. Breathe. It'll be alright. Lets dry off."

You both got out of the shower, and dried off. He looked at the cuts on your wrists and kissed them, putting one of his shirts on you, and putting gauze over the cuts. He went down to the ones on your thighs, kissing them and covering them with gauze as well, and let you put your pj pants on after. "You're amazing Y/N. I want you to stop hurting yourself like this. Please. It's not going to help anything that's going on. I'm here for you through everything, always. So are the rest of the Pogues. It will get better." He kissed your forehead and you started crying into his bare chest. "But it's not J. It's just getting worse." "I know it is, but please believe me when I say it will get better. We're spending Christmas together, that's good right?" he wiped your tears and you smiled at him and nodded your head yes. "Can we go clean my room now?"

You walked into your room not sure what to do first. "How about we put all your clothes in basket and change your sheets?" You nodded, beginning to pick the piles of clothes up. You didn't realize how dirty your floors were. "Maybe after this we should vacuum and maybe mop. I would say dust too, but this might be enough for me today." "Whatever you want, I'll do Y/N." You guys picked up the clothes together, moving onto the sheets on your bed. "Can you get the red plaid ones out of the closet? Those are my favorite." JJ went and grabbed the sheet set and changed the sheets, putting the pillowcases on as well. "I need a small break, and then we can finish." "Okay baby. What else needs to be done?." "Um, the trash needs to be picked up, and the room needs to be vacuumed and mopped." He kissed your forehead and went on to do chores. You were getting tired and felt yourself falling asleep.

You woke up two hours later, to see JJ dusting and disinfecting everything. Your room was spotless, and your little Christmas tree was out and plugged in. "J you found my tree? And, and. It's so clean in here. It smells so nice." He walked over to you and sat on the bed. "I know how much you like a deep cleaned room, and I brought you up a water bottle, and plugged your phone in for you, it was almost dead. Your mom came home about an hour ago and she showed me where the tree was. What candle do you want lit? I'm almost done." "Well, it was supposed to be a present, but. Go look in that small box on my desk." He opened it and smiled. It was candles with the letters of your first names on them. "Light those ones." you smiled.

He lit them with his lighter and threw the rest of the dirty dusting wipes out, laying down on the bed with you. "I love these pajamas they're so comfy and I get to match with my princess." he said before pulling you into a kiss. You climbed onto him, deepening the kiss slightly. "I missed you so much JJ. I'm sorry I pushed you away. I'm so happy you're here now." You pulled away giving him a kiss on the nose, proceeding to lay your head on his chest. "I missed your touch, and the the way you smell. It calms me down. Can we lay like this for the rest of the night?" you asked. "It's okay Y/N I understand. But no more pushing me away, I need to make sure you're okay. I love you so much, and I missed you more than anything. We can cuddle, but you need to finish eating dinner. I can bring it up if you want, unless you want to go talk to mom." "No, I want to stay up here please. She doesn't know about- you know. Unless I steal your sweatshirt..." "You can have my sweatshirt love, but she needs to find out eventually okay?" you huffed, but agreed to take his sweatshirt.

He went over to his bag and grabbed it and you snatched it out of his hands, taking in the scent. You put it on and motioned for him to come cuddle again. "You need to eat more, and then we can cuddle Y/N." He pulled you out of bed and you went downstairs. He heated up the rest of your soup, and made you another sandwich, giving you half again. You actually ate all the soup and most of the sandwich this time. "Do you want to bring snacks upstairs for later?" he asked. You pointed to the bag of chips on the counter. Your mom walked in and said "Hi Y/N, did you like your surprise?" You hugged her "Yes, I love my tree. I just wish I would've taken it out earlier." "I know, but it's okay that you didn't, we're having a rough year." You talked with your mom and JJ for a bit, and went upstairs. "Do you want to brush your teeth or wait until after if you decide to eat snacks?" he asked.

"After. I want my cuddles now." you pouted. He laughed and pulled you onto the bed with him, tickling you. "J, st- stop." you laughed. He stopped and set you down facing him. "I love you so much Y/N. I'm always here for you my love." He said while tucking your hair behind your ear. "I love you too JJ. Thank you for helping me. I'm sorry again for pushing you away. I promise I'll open up to you from now on." You kissed him again and tucked yourself between his arms, entangling your legs with his. He kissed your forehead and the last thing you heard before falling asleep was "I'm so happy you're mine Y/N, I don't know what I'd do without you. You're everything to me, I love you so much."

Hi so. Yeah. I wrote this acting as if he was here for me, and as stupid as it might sound it did help. I'm sorry if some of the things I wrote were intense, but these are real problems in my life and I need a way to vent them out. If you read this far, thank you for reading, and if anyone ever needs someone to talk to my DMs are always open :)

#jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank fluff #obx imagine #obx fanfiction #jj maybank obx

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hinatastinygiant · 2 years

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Chapter Twelve

Labels

Pairing: Gojo x Fem!Reader

previous | next | last summer

After your time at the library, you rush right back to your dorm building and knock on Nobara's door. She opens it up quickly, though the look of confusion on her face shows that she's clearly not expecting you to tell her what you just did.

"Hey, what's up?" she asks with a hint of concern in her tone.

"Can I come in, please?" you ask nervously as you practically push yourself past her.

"Woah, slow down and take a second to breathe."

Your body tenses up at her words, remember that Gojo says almost the exact same thing when you're alone with him.

"What'd you say?" you reply as your voice cracks.

"I told you to take a breath and calm. Come sit down with me and we can talk about whatever's bothering you," she expresses in a calm manner that has you actually do as she says.

It's then that you finally let it all out like word vomit, admitting to her every little detail about Fushiguro in the library. As you speak, her mouth drops to the ground in absolute shock at what you've told her. However, that's not to say she's not absolutely loving the drama that you're now involving yourself in.

"I thought you said you were gonna cut it off with him?" she asks once you're finished speaking.

"I thought so too but that's not what ended up happening," you sigh. "I really did try to talk to him but I just couldn't do it."

"So now what are you going to do?"

"I've got no idea," you groan as you put your hand to your head. "I was kinda hoping you'd have an idea."

"I don't know," she shrugs. "This is kinda your decision. Do you want to keep screwing around with our teacher or see where it goes with Fushiguro?"

"Right now there are no strings attached with either..." you mumble to yourself. "Do I sound like a horrible person if I say maybe I can keep it going with both, at least for now? It's all going well so far and I don't really know which way to go."

"Yeah, 'so far', but it won't be perfect forever. I don't think it's a good idea, Y/N," she tells you, causing you to let out a sigh of uneasiness. "How are you even going to keep it going like this without either of them finding out... Gojo does have a big mouth."

"I've got absolutely no idea," you grumble, resting your head down on your friend's shoulder, "but I've got to figure something out soon."

Fushiguro's P.O.V.

I'm walking back from the library with a bright red face. I'm still in shock, unable to believe what actually just happened. I stick my head deep within my half-torn-out book hoping not to draw attention to myself as I cross campus.

However, as I'm walking someone stops me and places their hand on the top of my book. They slowly bring it down until they're able to see the flustered expression on my face. And of course, the person on the other side of my protective wall that was my book, is Gojo. I sigh to myself when I see him, not ready for this talk.

"How'd it go at the library?" he asks as he attempts to hide the grin starting to grow along the side of his lips. "Did you get any studying done?"

As I look at him, it's quite clear to tell that he already knows everything that happened. Although I'm not quite sure how he knows, it's obvious that he does.

I take a deep breath as I prepare myself for the headache I'm about to get. "It went well. Now I'm going to get some food before heading back so I'll see you in class tomor-"

"Did you happen to run into Y/N at the library? I asked her to go and I just want to make sure she did get some studying in, too. Though she's quite excellent with using her technique, I fear she does not know what she's capable of."

I can feel my face burn at his words. What the hell am I supposed to say?

"Yes. We studied together a bit so I can say that she did get some work done," I vaguely explain.

"Good," he chuckles. "She and I did the same a few nights ago. I suppose she'll be all ready for this week's exam."

Why the hell did I mess with Y/N when it was so obvious she was doing it with Gojo? I'm such an idiot for getting involved.

Gojo wraps his arm around me and walks me towards the school. "Perhaps the three of us could study altogether, yeah? The two of you would both get a lot of good information out of that session."

I tense up under his touch which only causes him to laugh a bit harder at my uneasiness. "I mean if it's what Y/N wants then maybe we should just give it to her."

"Why the hell would I be interested in doing that with you?" I scoff, getting extremely frustrated by him.

"If you really like the girl, then prove that she needs nobody else 'cept you," he tells me as he stops walking and turns to face me. "Unless you think your skills aren't quite as good as mine," he then taunts, leaning closer to me with his stupid smirk growing wider on his face.

I'm just so damn pissed at everyone that I don't even know what to think. I'm angry at myself for getting involved and doing what I did, mad at Gojo for having the audacity to mess with his students' lives, and upset with Y/N for being reckless enough to get herself into all of this.

"Fine," I scoff as I take a step away from her, "but don't expect this to be a reoccurring thing. I expect you to at least give us some kind of hint about your stupid test, too, since this is all your idea."

"Hm, alright then, Megumi, you've got a deal."

Even though he continues to talk to me, I just walk away. Whatever else he's got to say on the matter I no longer care to hear him out. He better just keep his promise.

Taglist: @gothic-illustrations @thisbicc

previous | next | last summer

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firespirited · 2 years

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Found a tall afra body for Lena, they have smaller neck holes so it was a struggle until I remembered i have wirecutters and can trim that anchor to be a smaller disc, i'd prefer a curvy but the diversity in sizes makes them look like friends or sisters.

Cherry Merry muffin cracked open: kiwi was not the right choice of fiber for aged vinyl despite the nice pastels. The white is nylon and it's got a teensy bit more grip in each head hole. I'm stuck, my first thought was new hairline but that didn't work out for my last two kiwi headcracks. No idea how to proceed short of finding exact nylon matches later when I have some hobby money for supplies.

Daya is rocking the granddad hairdo as I didn't have the patience tonight to realign the coral nylon that got misaligned during the dyeing and washing process.

So new project it is! Because juggling 20 different projects at once is actually the only way you're going to find one that fits your particular brain mood of the moment, provided you don't have a cascading error message when you attempt to figure which one to go with.😂

Marinette is a clone with thin vinyl, she was only rooted round the edges when she arrived so she gets her front lines first so we can tell if she's going to break before there's a whole head of work.

A lot of people like to start with the front first, it allows you to visualize the final product from early on. I like to start at the second line in back so I can establish a sense of what spacing, plug size and pressure works best in an area that won't be visible if it's a little ugly.

Sometimes a head lends itself well to circle patterning (Licca with a tiny pencil in her neck rotates nicely on your workspace) othertimes the parting first then a front to back series of lines and then detailing for the 'corners' and first line.

There's no right or wrong way to proceed: it's all about finding small victories like in finishing the circle on the back of Barbie's head for example and balancing that with what's a comfortable position to work in while keeping the head in place. If that takes drawing arbitrary pencil lines or a 40min podcast episodes worth as goals for the day and you manage just one: Do It.

Arts and crafts that you can't totally zone out for are all about managing the tedium with made up goals and rewards.

You're not supposed to endure it and if the tedium and focus is too much then it's fine to find a craft that better suits you. I know folks who make amazing stuff from the enjoyment of making one crochet square or circle at a time, one japanese folded silk patch at a time then bringing it all together into a garment or quilt once they've done a large amount.

#dolls #saf #ooak #rerooting #Crafting #Not the hussle crafting for the fun of making a thing #Tutorials #Add an aside about rerooting methods

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gnattyplayssims · 2 months

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1960 Pt1 - Interrogation

Sofia waited patiently on the train station bench as the woman in blue got their tickets. The woman said they were going to meet her mother but after 8 years of having no mother it was hard to believe. Right now it didn't matter as long as she was out of that awful house

As the train took off the woman opened a book, pouring over the pages and jotting down a few things in the marjins. "The Chronicles of Rodiek?" Sofia read.

Rowan slammed the book closed and stood, casting a glance toward the man watching them "Let's go to the dining car."

They walked through a few cars before Rowan stopped suddenly, "You like books right kid?"

"I love them!"

"Here, try this one out."

"But you're in the middle of reading it."

"I've read it 100x you'll love it just hold onto it for me until I need it again will you."

"Oh okay!"

"What's a kid doing in a train bar?"

"I'm 8 years old, not a kid."

"No, I am certain 8-year-olds fall under the childhood category."

"Well I'm really mature for my age. Maci says it's because I read books far above my level"

"Is that so. And these books make you grow faster?"

"Hey kid, didn't anyone ever teach you not to talk to strangers!?"

"Oh he asked me a question, I didn't want to be rude."

"Relax Rowan, it was just harmless conversation."

"Yeah well this time it was you, next time it could be an actual problem. There's a Tech on this train."

"Don't mind her, she gets stressed easily especially when there are Techs around"

"What's so bad about Techs?"

"They want the Omiscan Cypher which we have. In the wrong hands it could destroy the Worlds, which is why it is safest with one who will protect it and won't remember."

Three months passed after Jamal's arrest and Sofia was holding on just enough to keep her kids from starving.

"Thanks for coming Sof, I know this isn't a trip you wanted to make but your testimony is incredibly important to this case."

Sofia didn't move as he sat across from her

"Let's start by getting the big question out of the way. Did you know or have any indication that your husband was involved in illegal activities."

"Of course not."

"Surely you noticed that the house was not the same size on the outside."

"He told me it was a shed."

"You're telling me you were married to the man and lived in that house for 4 years and never asked those questions?"

"No Nikolas, I'm not a detective. He saved my life and he was always nice to me. I had no reason to doubt him he was my husband."

Nik sighed, "Come with me."

Nik let out a deep sigh once they were outside. "Sorry Sof. I'm not trying to accuse you. It's my job to get to the bottom of this, and I'd rather be the one questioning you. We'll walk and you can tell me what you know."

"Ok, I think I can handle that."

"Tell me how you met."

"It was at the Spice Festival. He helped me with a vendor and we talked...I ran into him again at the park and he asked me out. It all just kind of happened after that."

Nik scoffed,

"What?"

"I'm trying not to make comments, continue"

She looped her arm in his, "Next question."

"How did he get you away from Don?"

"They fought...I don't really know the details."

"Sofia...Don's mansion and club are both high security locations...there's no way he could have got in without Don knowing."

"No...he was always so nice to me, he couldn't have worked for Don"

"Hey...just because someone's nice, doesn't mean they're good. Let's take a break and get you some chamomile."

They stopped at a booth and ordered tea then found a quiet bench while they sipped in silence.

Finally Nikolas broke the tension. "Now the big question."

"You mean those weren't the big questions?"

"Unfortunately no. We're still trying to figure out the motivation. Why the OSS was after you. But without you...it's a dead case."

"I don't know. There's nothing special about me. I'm used up, broken...easy."

"Hey! That's not true"

"It is though...Jamal told me as much...so did Don...and Mathias."

"Not the most solid character witnesses."

"I don't know what Jamal was after. I have nothing except my body to give and he got that."

Nik let out a slow breath, "There has to be something else he wanted."

For a moment silence fell between them. "Sofia, there's a lot more to you then just a body. You can be a bit...in the clouds sometimes but I don't know any other woman who could go through the hell you have and still be standing."

"Wait Nik! I just remembered...the book!"

In an undisclosed location in a World simply known as GP-7 in a secret lab in the middle of the desert canyons, Jameson Reed was just waking up from a rather painful transfer from his prison cell.

"Are the cuffs really necessary? Do you want to see my identification?"

"That won't be necessary and the cuffs don't come off till she says so."

Footsteps behind him drew his attention but he turned his focus back on Magnus, "This is rediculous. I'm loyal to the OSS you know that."

"I know...but I'm not. They made an offer I couldn't refuse."

Rowan came around the table and dropped a book between them. "So you found it."

"With little help from you, I'm afraid."

"What's so special about this piece of fiction anyway?"

"Well if it was fiction it would be useless. This book is the key to conquering all the Worlds."

"This isn't what I signed up for."

Pain shot through his hand so suddenly he couldn't even be sure Rowan had moved, "No, you signed up for a mission which you failed to complete...I don't know how it's done in the OSS but I don't take that lightly...Mr. Goth...he's all yours."

Magnus followed Rowan out of the room taking the cypher with him as the second man set a lump of clay in it's place.

"The mind is such a wonderfully moldable thing wouldn't you agree Mr. Reed? I do wonder how moldable yours might be if it was not bogged down by silly allegiances"

A few hours later Joaquin Goth leaned over his patient, "Take it easy. You've had an accident. Do you remember anything?"

"No...who...who are you?"

"Don't worry, you don't remember it but we have a lovely home selected for you on Batuu. I hear the neighbors are lovely."

1960 Pt2 - Field Trip

#mizrahi legacy #dandy generation #decades challenge #sims 4 storytelling #ts4 storytelling #ts4 legacy

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arborealrodent · 5 months

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Portland Nomads, Part I

We moved out of our house in early April, and got on a plane that ultimately landed us in Gisborne, NZ on 13th November, 2023. Between those two dates we lived in 10 different places. This is that story. I can't and won't give accurate dates because honestly, I'm not into that level of detail and honestly, are you? When i was planning this post i thought of including pics of the places that we stayed, but I feel like that's intrusive and the theater of the mind is just so much more fun. I would like to thank all the people who opened up their houses to us. You all contributed a great deal to our success. You have our gratitude. We will not send you to Detroit.

We started off by moving into an AirBnB space just off 42nd in North Portland. We packed 4 suitcases, one for each of us. We also had about a dozen bags of various toys and food. There were also numerous items that we couldn't drag around with us, and those were/are held by family. This AirBnB gave us our sleeping arrangements that would persist until today: Jody and Ira would sleep in one bed, and Dashiell and I would sleep in another. Not much else to report about this space. Easter was limited to the small front patch and side patch of weeds/grass. Also i lost my iPad here and the management company for it were impossible to get ahold of. Whatever. I got it free from work so hey, Ya Win Some Ya Lose Some.

Next we moved into another AirBnB space on the same property as a tiny house community, on the large rear part of a flagpole lot about 3 blocks from our prior spot. more about what a flagpole lot (or flag lot) is here. We got this place because our friends Heather, Rudy, and their daughter Celeste live in one of the tiny houses there. Our spot was a divided portion of the owner Eecole's house. Dash and I got the pull-out bed in the couch.

Our space was small but the property was HUGE. There is an expansive garden, 4 tiny houses, 2 sheds, a large porch with hot tub, outdoor shower. It was very outdoor bohemian living, which was freeing and challenging at different times. Dash and Ira had a great times with Celeste. It was nice to finally tell the kids to Go Outside And Play!

We were introduced to Potato Thursday, and highly recommend it. We would have a standing tradition of, every Thursday, having folks gather in the garden area and fire up the grill with the intention of eating potatoes. When we arrived this gradually became Thursday being a Feast with salads, sausages, other sides, beer, etc. it was a Real Party.

We spent 1-1/2 months here. Enough time to see spring turn into summer. Enough to see raspberry sprouts turn into full plants and trade our winter clothes for shorts. Enough time to figure out a little more about who we were.

We had stayed here before, but next we stayed about 1-2 weeks at my half-brother's/sister-in-law's house. Since that's WAY too awkward to say in real life, let's call it Michael and Bree's house. They have two kids Elliott and August, and they're all lovely people. Huge nerds, which put us right at home. I think Dash was able to fit in the bed with Jody and Ira, while I slept on the floor. Well, not literally. I think I had a mattress. It was near the end of this stay that Jody wanted to visit her family in Kuna (near Boise), so she took the kids over there while I finished my stay with Bree and Michael.

I anticipated this being a big post but obvi I'm going to have to break it up a bit. I'll re-title to Pt. I

#new zealand #portland #moving

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byjinni · 2 years

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an epiphany

I had an epiphany during my meditation just now, and I'm so excited that I just had to share it with someone. Now mind you, the epiphany is still processing, so my thoughts are pretty scattered. So please forgive me if this post is all over the place. It's unedited because I feel like if I go back and re-read this post, I'll realize how stupid I sound and never post it. But I have to share...

But to lay some background before I jump into the epiphany that I had..

For the last few years, I've been obsessed with figuring out the answer to life's greatest questions: What is truth? What is the nature of reality? What is the purpose of this life? Who is God? Is there a God? yada..yada..you get the point. This questioning began when I decided to "break up" with organized religion. You see, I had grown up in a Christian household, and I was a very, very devout Christian. It was everything. I lived and breathed the teachings of the Bible. It wasn't until after college that I hit a series of roadblocks in my life, and when I turned to the Bible for answers and prayed to God for direction, all I got was radio-silence. And after some deep contemplation, I began to question a lot of the teachings that I had grown up with. I asked myself, "Am I Christian simply because I was raised in the church? What if I had been born to Buddhist/Atheist/Muslim/etc. parents? Would I have clung to their faith as strongly as I had clung to Christianity?" That opened the floodgates and I finally gave myself to seek God outside of the church, beyond the words of the Bible. I remember my last prayer to God, I call it my break up prayer. It went something like this: God, there's something inside of me that can't stop believing that somewhere, somehow you exist. So I want you to know that this isn't me giving up on you. But I've come to the point where my life experiences don't align with what the Bible teaches. So I'm going to go out on my own now and explore around a bit. I think it's time to look for you outside of Christian teachings. And I hope you know it's all because I want to know you, to find you. So if the Bible was right all along, and you are the God that the Bible describes, then I trust you'll lead me back to you." It was simultaneously the most terrifying and freeing experience of my life.

Now you may ask now, why did you not give up on looking for God completely? And to answer that, let's rewind several more years to when I was in high school. I won't go into the details in this post, but there was a time in my high school years during which I was very angry at everyone, including myself. It was as if all I could see were the negative aspects of people, humanity's selfishness and hypocrisy were all I could see. And I began to question how God could love humanity (this was when I was still going to church). The Bible described an incredible God and an infinite love. And that "perfection" clashed so harshly with the reality of humanity. Ultimately, I reached the conclusion that such an infinite love was impossible, and thus, God was not real. But then one random night as I was getting ready for bed, I had a though ram through my brain. It was jarring, and I literally fell to my knees. In that moment, I was overwhelmed with love. To this day, it's really hard to explain what happened in that moment. But I think I got to experience a glimpse of an infinite love. That moment is what convinces me that there is something or someone greater out there. Whether you want to call it god, source, infinite intelligence, whatever...I believe that I experienced its presence in that moment. So you see, ever since then, I was driven to understand that experience, to find "god."

And so that brings me to the present moment. In the church, I was constantly told that God is love, but I always thought of it as more of a metaphor. But I realize that it is quite literal. God is literally love. When we feel love, we feel God. When we act in love, we act as God.

Take for instance sex and reproduction. Sex, in its purest form, is the union of two people in love. It is an act of love. And the fruit of sex? New life. I've always found reproduction to be an incredible miracle and the greatest act of creation. Isn't it incredible that from love we create? Is that just a mere coincidence?

And regarding Jesus Christ and the stories of his miracles. I believe that he was able to do the miracles because he embodied love. His acts of healing the sick and feeding the hungry, his parables...everything he said and did embodied pure love. And so perhaps he boldly proclaimed that he was the son of God because he wholly, completely embodied love.

And if you want to dig into the teachings of Neville Goddard and other new age teachers... the feeling is the secret. The feeling of love, the embodiment of love, is the secret to creation.

I'm also remind of Gregg Braden, who shares stories of miraculous healings and people who live incredibly long, healthy lives. The secret was feeling love.

I'm also reminded of those who teach heart and mind coherence. When our hearts and minds are one, we become the creators of our reality. In other words, when our thoughts are rooted in love, we are able to create as GOD.

And so when I think back to that moment in high school when I was overwhelmed in love. I realize that I was literally experiencing God.

To know God is to love, and to love is to serve.

That's a phrase that I had repeated over last few years, but I'm now realizing how absolutely true that is. I've been on this intellectual hunt, looking for God in books and spiritual teachers. And now I realize that God is LOVE. When I feel love, I feel God. When I act in love, I act as God.

And this complete embodiment and surrender to Love, I believe that is the key to next great leap in humanity's evolution. I think that's the key to realizing health and abundance and creating a better future. Because when you think about it, the root of all things horrible in our world, is it not the absence of love?

If you've reached the end of this post, kudos to you. Thank you for bearing with this scattered, jumbled mess. Hopefully when I've had more time to digest this understanding, I can share a more cohesive post.

#late night thoughts #spilled ink #epiphany #god is love #spirituality

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