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vivwritesfics · 6 months

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Rookie Season - OP81

Oscar and Y/N hate each other, until they don't

"And that's Y/N L/N in the AlphaTauri in the points!" The commentator shouted as Y/N crossed the finish line in P9.

"Woo!" She shouted down the radio. "Fuck yeah!"

"That's brilliant, Y/N, first points of the season," said her engineer.

"We did it! We did it!" She continued to shouted. "We'll be celebrating tonight, boys!"

It was her debut season on Formula One, after having milled about in Formuma 2 for a couple of years. She'd moved up with her good friend Logan and her old rival Oscar.

She and Oscar. Where were they to begin?

They weren't like other rivals, where they left it all on the track. They really really hated each other. In F2, they were always fighting each other for places, sending the other off the track and going into each others sides. Their fights cost their teams way too much in damages, somebody needed to intervine.

When Oscar got bumped up into McLaren, Y/Ns team thought all of their problems were solved. Y/N could race without fighting Oscar every lap.

But then Y/N announced her addition to Scuderia AlphaTauri F1 team. Still, it came as a relief to her old F2 team. She may still have been battling Oscar, but it wasn't on their dime.

At the start of the season, when Y/N and Oscar was at the back of the grid, things were messy. Y/N had to DNF once because of him and Oscar almost had to because of her.

"Hey asshole, thanks for that one," she said with a sarcastic grin as she interrupted his interview once upon a time.

Netflix was going to have a field day with them.

Now they were towards the end of the season, Y/N and Oscar were no longer fighting each other. Oscar was fighting with the likes of Max Verstappen while Y/N was in the mid field, fighting in an underperforming car.

She missed him.

No, not him. She didn't miss Oscar, not one bit. But she did miss the fighting they would do.

"How did Piastri do?" She asked as she followed Fernando Alonso into the pit lane.

For a moment, Y/N's engineer didn't answer her. She waited, ready to prompt him again, when he answered. "Uh, P3 for Piastri," her engineer answered, somewhat hesitantly.

"Of fucking course," Y/N muttered under her breath as she climbed out of the car.

***

Watching Oscar on the podium. It hurt, but Y/N didn't show it on her face. There was no denying he was a good driver, he wouldn't be in F1 otherwise. She should have been up there with him, though.

No, not with him. She didn't want to be on the podium with Oscar. She should have been on the podium instead of him.

That night, they went out. Most drivers had nothing to do on the Monday so they went out to blow off steam from the race. Well, those frustrated (which now included Y/N) went out to blow off steam, the rest went out to celebrate.

It was Max, the McLaren boys, the AlphaTauri drivers, the Ferrari boys, Daniel, Fernando, Alex, and the Alpine pair.

Y/N spent most of the night dancing with Esteban or Daniel, singing along to the songs and simply going crazy. At one point Fernando had her on his shoulders as he passed a shot up to her.

A little bit after midnight, Y/N went t the bar to get herself another drink. She leaned against the counter, card tapping against the counter top.

But she wasn't alone. No. The very man she hated stood beside her, ready to order his own drinks.

"Fuck you!" She shouted, her words slurring, but Oscar couldn't hear her over the music.

He held out his hand, waited for Y/N to take it and then pulled her in close. "Congratulations on the points," he shouted into her ear, but Y/N could barely hear it.

"Good job on the podium," she replied equally as loud, wearing a scowl as she did so.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

But Y/N didn't hear that. Her scowl turned to a frown as she stared at him, but Oscar ordered her a drink anyway. He passed it to Y/N, who looked at it suspiciously. But Oscar wasn't like that. He wasn't that kind of person. As much as Y/N didn't like him, he wasn't a bad person.

She thanked him, although he couldn't much hear, and turned to find Esteban and Fernando once again. But they were gone, nowhere to be found. It was hard to lose Esteban, since he was so damn tall, but Y/N couldn't see him anywhere.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath and turned back to the Aussie.

There were two important rules Y/N followed when she went on a night out. Keep your drink covered and stay with your friends. She had her hand over the top of her cup as she approached Oscar again.

Wrapping her arms around her neck, she pulled him down so that her mouth was level with his ear. "Can I stay with you? Everybody else has disappeared!"

Oscar nodded his head as he stood up straight.

He wrapped his arm around her and led her over to the dance floor.

At first, Y/N was awkward. She wasn't quite letting loose as much as she was with the others. This was Oscar, her rival on and off the track. She just swayed as she looked at him, an uncomfortable smile on her face.

Have you ever been in the club when your favourite song comes on? How absolutely feral you go? Jumping up and down and shouting the lyrics? That was exactly what happened to Y/N.

She was bobbing her head and swaying when the last song finished up. And then her favourite song came on. Y/N's eyes went wide. She jumped along to the melody and shouted the lyrics at Oscar, who was more than happy to indulge her.

Throughout the night, Y/N and Oscar danced and dank and sang. They went on through the night, dancing until the club was shutting and their feet hurt.

Oscar took Y/N home. He practically had her over his shoulder as he got her back to the hotel room. She'd be hungover for her flight tomorrow, Oscar thought as he took her key card and let her into her room.

***

The last thing Y/N remembered was losing her friends and getting on the dance floor with Oscar. Her head was pounding as she woke up, the light coming through her open window blinding. "Shit," she grumbled and put her arm over her aching eyes.

For five minutes Y/N did nothing. She laid there, trying her best not to throw up. And then her alarm went off, the one that gave her twenty minutes to get her things ready before the car came to pick her up and take her to the airport.

Her movements were sluggish as she packed away her things and made her way out of the hotel room. Sunglasses covered her eyes, the lights from the hallway far too bright for her liking.

"Oh my God," muttered Yuki as he met her in the lobby of the hotel. They were travelling together, since they were such good friends and both heading home to Milton Keynes. "You look fucking horrible."

"Thanks, Yuk's. That makes me feel fantastic."

"How late did you stay out?"

Y/N shrugged her shoulders. "Until the place closed, same as you,"

A laugh left Yuki's lips. She really was in a sorry state. "We left way before it closed, Y/N. You with Oscar so we left you there. Are you guys friends yet?"

That was a good question - one Y/N didn't have an answer for. If she and Oscar had become friends during the night, she didn't remember it. And she couldn't ask him about it now, could she?

There would be nothing more embarrassing then calling up Oscar and asking him everything that happened the night before. Y/N was pretty sure she hadn't done anything too bad. She was pretty sure she hadn't confessed her love for him while they danced, pressed up against each other. She was pretty sure she didn't love him.

Love him? No, they were rivals. Rivals don't fall in love. That isn't how the story goes, not in real life, anyway.

There was a good two weeks Y/N didn't have to see Oscar. A blissful two weeks that Y/N spent at home in Milton Keynes. Those two weeks were filled with training and sim racing, Y/N practicing for the next grand prix.

In those two weeks she didn't think about Oscar once.

Okay, that's a lie. She couldn't help herself from thinking about Oscar, about the last time she saw him, about how much she couldn't remember. Would it really be such a bad thing if they weren't enemies? Would it really be so hard to try and get along with him?

Having a rival wasn't much fun. Sure, it was entertaining for the fans, but it was a miserable existence for those actually involved. A rivalry meant that every time Y/N saw him on the track, this horrible, nasty feeling would bubble up inside of her.

It seemed, though, like Y/N wasn't the only one thinking about this. It seemed like this was just playing on her mind.

Y/N turned her phone off, after that. She and Oscar weren't rivals anymore, but they weren't exactly friends.

Oscar texted her some more, but Y/N didn't answer them. It was such a shift in dynamics, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She didn't text Oscar back, didn't know what she was supposed to say to him now.

Y/N didn't stop thinking about him, though. Actually, things just got worse. She couldn't stop thinking about his eyes, his hands, his lips. The way his eyes would almost close when he laughed, that resting sort of scowl he wore as he walked around. It wasn't a proper scowl, just the way his lip would slightly curl whenever he was doing anything or nothing.

Y/N didn't know what to expect from the next grand prix. She and Oscar always had to do the press conferences together. They'd sit on opposite ends of the couch, the only questions being sent their way being about their rivalry.

When the press conference was over, Y/N made her way outside, into the fresh air. Still, she and Oscar were getting asked about their rivalry, the rivalry that didn't exist. She didn't answer any questions that day, letting Oscar do it instead.

"Hey!" Oscar called as Y/N marched away.

Stopping, she spun on her heel to face him. "What, Oscar? What do you want?"

As usual, Oscar were that scowl, the one Y/N knew not to take too seriously. When he looked at her, his stance was tense. But Oscar dropped it as he looked at her. "Nothing," he muttered as he shook his head. "Forget about it."

With his head down, Oscar turned to walk away. Guilt settled in the pit of Y/N's stomach. They weren't rivals anymore; she didn't have to treat him like such shit.

"Oscar, wait!" She called as she walked after him, reaching over to grab his wrist.

Suddenly they were close, stood closer than they had before. Especially while they were sober. Oscar stared down at her, unmoving, unwilling to walk away. Y/N stared up at him, at that scowl he still wore.

And then she was moving, body moving forward until she was pressing her lips to his. There were probably cameras on them, either Netflix or Sky or some other form of media. The drivers they'd been in the press conference with, who were going to walk back to their garages until they saw Y/N and Oscar and the potential argument about to happen.

Oscar kept his hands at his sides as Y/N moved hers up to his neck. Her eyes were closed; she couldn't see what was happening. But then she felt hands on the side of her face, holding her there as they kissed.

Oh, they definitely weren't rivals anymore. Were they still even friends? Y/N didn't know. The only she did know was that she didn't want to stop kissing him.

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ynbabe · 5 months

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Fake texts au- pt.14 bffs with the rookies+ Halloween is sacred

Okay so even though Y/n is kinda sorta related to Fernando and is a Brit, there are no descriptions on readers race, characteristics or anything that takes away from Y/n being Y/n, and i'll try and keep the pics as faceless as possible. Love yall. Mwuah 🥰

| Masterlist |

October 31st, Halloween, the only day of the year that mattered, screw birthdays and screw anniversaries, Halloween was where it was.

That is exactly why you had forced your friends to change significant aspects of their physical appearance.

"Stop, whining," You scolded Logan as he kept hissing as you pulled at his hair, trying to brush it back into a small ponytail. You had a vision, you see, while on Tumblr with Arthur on your stream a few months ago, you had witnessed the greatest post ever.

Okay maybe not the greatest but it was pretty close.

The post showed all the drivers and the character the most looked like and when you saw Logan being compared to Anakin Skywalker, you knew you had to tell all the barbers he went to blacklist him.

That boy was going to grow his hair, whether he liked it or not, and he didn't like it, but he also didn't have to tie up his hair every day, so really it should have been you complaining.

"You are so lucky to have me," I smacked his head, as he shook his head, making all the hair fall out of my fist, it wasn't long enough to manoeuvre into a ponytail properly but Logan had refused to wear a headband, saying 'it hurt'.

"Bruv, if you keep movin' your damn head, imma smash it in with my knees," You yelled once again, your British accent thickening making him laugh and throw his head back to look up at you.

"Okay, I'll go cut my hair then," He shrugged looking straight at you.

"Noooooo," I whined and got back to working on his hair as he finally let me work on it instead of wriggling around.

We were sitting in his driver's room, he was sitting crisscross on the floor and you sat on his bed, letting your legs rest leaning on his shoulders. There was some random song playing in the background and you were finally able to struggle his beautiful blond waves into a itty-bitty ponytail.

"Fuckin finally, mate," I made him turn around and looked at him, Tada!" I smiled at my masterpiece, he looked amazing, I couldn't help but keep looking at him, how could eyes be so blue?

"Uh- Am I interrupting something?" Alex called out, breaking me out of whatever was happening, I really had to start sleeping more.

"N-no, Do we need to go?" Logan stuttered.

"Yeah..." He said, still looking at both of us with a weird expression on his face.

Logan walked out soon after grabbing a few things around his room.

.xXLogan's P.O.VXx.

"You are horrible, bro," Alex said as soon as I shut the door, "Down bad,"

"Wait, wait, what are you talking about?" I asked him confused, making him laugh.

"You can't be that oblivious, mate," He stopped in front of me, shaking me by the shoulders, "You literally have heart eyes whenever you are with her-" He stated, was he crazy?

"Dude, what the hell are you talking about?" I tried not to be annoyed by what he was saying.

"Also when anyone speaks of her, or when you're looking at her or when you get her texts, which is all the time by the way," He rambled.

I tried to say something back but I got a text from Y/n, "Oh my GOD!" He yelled, laughing, "Do you have a separate ringtone for her?" he asked making my face feel warm.

"I don't like her okay?" I said, trying to change the conversation, beginning to walk again.

"Mate, you grew out your hair for her, you make her tie your hair every day even when you don't need to tie it, the tie's already fallen out!" He screamed yanking a strand of my hair, making me wince, and alerting a mechanic who was walking by.

We sheepishly waved at the man, finally reaching where James' was waiting for us, thankfully ending the conversation once and for all.

.xXY/n's P.O.VXx.

You could hear Alex screaming vaguely in the hallways but you chose to ignore the fellow Brit, right now, you had very little time to get to your next destination- Mclaren, and your next victim, Oscar or as the post had decided- Peter Parker.

Well the post had said Spider-man for both Oscar and Lando, calling out the weird twin-like situation they had going on, but Lando had refused every bribe and blackmail you could manage, stating he and Carlos had already planned something, so made Oscar grow out his hair, yes you were the leader of the men with long hair agenda, so what?

"Oscarrrr, hiii!" You yelled as you jumped next to him as he lounged on his bed, scrolling on his phone, he moved so I could see his for you page as well.

"Oh, he's proper fit, isn't he?" I said, making him cringe.

"Who- MICK SCHUMACHER?" He yelled, making me jump up and try to shut him up, these walls were thin man, way too thin to be yelling like this, "WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND BLONDES-" He continued but I used his pillow to stop him, but it was already too late.

"Ooooh- who do we like?" Lando ran in, this happens every time!

"NO ONE," I would say no one,

"MICK," someone would say whom and then Lando would somehow get the message to them, how did I know?

"Niceee, is this the Gavi situation again?" He teased, wriggling his eyebrows, that was a very awkward, Instagram conversation which made you almost run the Brit over with his own car, hey but atleast you'd gotten new friends over it.

"No, it's not- not another word, Piastri," I smacked him with the pillow.

"Okay, anyways, we gotta leave," Lando spoke, beckoning Oscar to leave.

"Okay, but Oscar you know what you have to do right?" I asked, making sure everything was set for the party on the 31st.

"Yes, y/n," he assured me before leaving with Lando. It was only the Free Practices so I was only on Paddock to skip uni.

I face-timed Arthur, who was currently busy with his F2 work but would be coming to the party as well, I had planned his costume too, making him grow his hair out and make him dress up as Flyn Rider, and he had decided to darken his hair, out of his own volition, totally not me begging, crying and complaining to Lorenzo about it.

It had been an hour since we got on call but I had to leave once I got a message from an unknown number.

You brainstormed for more than half an hour about Halloween costumes with someone you knew for the same amount of time.

You both finally landed on Stu Macher (For the obvious similarities in their names) but you were still unsure about what you would go as. He had suggested Tatum but it seemed too simple of a costume for being the host of the party.

Happy with his choice, you both finally got off chat.

You kept thinking about what you could go as but nothing came to mind, You could go as Rapunzel, or Padme or Gwen or even Tatum, but it just didn't feel right...

You knew the drivers had a break right now, so you texted the one person you always went to for advice.

"tío!! Cómo estás??" (Uncle! How are you?) I spoke into the phone.

"Que hiciste ahora?" (What did you do now?) His voice came through and I could hear him sigh at the end.

"NOTHING!" You defended, quite offended at the insinuation that you always got into trouble. Well you did, but you wouldn't get caught so easily!

"Kiddo, the last time you said that, you lost your licence," He countered, why did he always have to make a point?

"Okay, totally ignoring your valid point, what should I be for Halloween?"

"Esto... es por eso que me llamaste?" (This… is this why you called me?), he asked in disbelief.

"Well, it's my party, oldie, i'm not gonna be boring!" I sighed, if he couldn't help no one could.

"You are crazy, you know? Sorry, Diabla, I have to go, you'll figure it out," he reassured me but as I listened to what he said for maybe the first time in my life.

The party was going to be fucking ace.

The weekend ended sooner than you could imagine and it was finally time for the party, it was a local club it was private but not exclusive and a lot more people showed up than you imagined.

Logan looked amazing as Anakin, you'd also convinced him to braid in extentions to make it more like a cosplay than a costume and man, did it look good.

Arthur looked so much like Flynn Rider you had to do multiple double takes, how that man was still single was beyond you.

Oscar was the perfect Peter Parker, the muscles he'd bulit cause of F1 made the costume look much more belivable.

Lando, Carlos, Charles, Max, George, Alex, Esteban, Lance, Zhou and many others were there too, you'd spoken to them for a few minutes before they paired off with one and other and lost themsleves to the music and alcohol.

You were a little tipsy too, but you were still waiting for Mick.

You were adjusting the horns on your head, when you felt someone tap you, "Hello, Sidney," A rough voice called out making your skin crawl and immediately turn to the source.

“Oh my god! You scared me mate,” you hugged him.

“I’m sorry but it was just so tempting,” he laughed as you passed him a beer.

“Glad you could make it, Mick,” you smiled at the man in front of you, leaning in to hear each other over the loud music, “Nice costume you got there,” you remarked, he was wearing a compression shirt and black pants and had a ghost face mask on.

“Yeah, I know right? Came up with it all by myself,” he smirked making you smack him in the arms.

“Yeah yeah, come on, let’s go meet the others and get the party started!” You yelled pulling him along to meet the rookies.

You waited at the booth for the other three to show up, “Your costume is amazing, by the way,” he complimented, making your face feel warm.

“Thank you, people say I’m the devil so often, thought it’d be fit,” you laughed, twirling to show your She-Devil costume.

“Yeah, I saw the comments, people can be so stupid,” he shared.

“Right? I mean-” you began but were interrupted by Logan and Arthur running up to the two of you with Oscar trailing behind with a plate for of shots.

“WOOH LETS FUCKING GOOO!” You yelled, passing out shots to your little group of five, starting the night off with a bang.

its_y/n_love

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Tagged: @/arthur_leclerc @/logansargeant @/oscarpiastri @/mickschumacher @/landonorris @/georgerussell @/lancestroll @/estebanocon @/maxverstappen @/charles_leclerc @/zhougyanyu @/yukitsunoda @/pierregasly @/nyckdevries @/danielricciardo @/carlossainz

its_y/n_love HALLOWEEN 23' yall are so welcome for long hair lolo, osc and Princie! Also everyone say hi Micky!!

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username MOTHERR IS MOTHERINGGG I FEAR

username Literally all the drivers were there girly pop is living her life!

username everyone say thank you y/n for getting our pookies to grow their hair 🤭🤭🤭

username frfr Logan as anakin making we wanna get a green card 😫

username IS THAT ARTHUR WITG THE REDBULLS????

Its_y/n_love He pre-gamed so hard he forgot which side he played for 💀 Arthur_leclerc You literally only had redbulls?? don't try to be charlies favourite it wont work 🙄 Its_y/n_love oh PUH-LEASE 🙄 I'm already his favourite and Lorenzo's too cry abt it 😘 Arthur_leclerc I'm getting nando🔪 Username chat?? is this real?

username MICK!?!?! EXCUSE ME WHILE I BARK

username FORGET HIM LOOK AT Y/N!! MA'AM DO YOU NEED A DOG, A MAID, A CLOWN? username now I know y'all not ignoring oscar spiderman piastri and Arthur freaking prince eugene Leclerc

username how'd she get her paws on Mick Schumacher??? Run man run!

username fr the manipulation this chick does must be fucking studied 😭 username omg i know its halloween but will y'all get over dead shit? username why yall so jealous man??? username KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT OF YOUR DAMN MOUTH

Username THE NICKNAMES 😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

Is it anywhere near halloween? nope, do I care abt the timeline, also nope. hope yall liked this one!!!

Taglist: @dark-night-sky-99 @cashtons-wife @i-wish-this-was-me @thehufflepuffavenger1 @eugene-emt-roe @fangirl-dot-com @landosgirlxoxo @aquangxl @sachaa-ff @tyna-19 @assholeinatrenchcoat @allenajade-ite @megatrilss1885 @squirreljoe

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britswriting · 2 years

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Desire (7)

Desire Masterlist

Read on Wattpad

Sequel to Unbroken

T/W: Body negativity (Talking down to oneself about postpartum recovery)

*Leighton's POV*

The first week without Colby had been tortures.

I was so used to the texts, and calls.. It was like I was back on Sam's birthday and it sucked.

On Colby's birthday, the day after he said he wanted to give us space, I texted him Happy Birthday, and sent him a photo of Gemma so he had one of her on his birthday, but I didn't hear back for hours.

I laid around my house feeling sorry for myself, watching the sky go from bright and sunny to dark and cloudy, not hearing back from him until way after I had gotten Gemma down to sleep.

I laid on the couch watering Master Chef when he replied back with a "Thank You" which felt like a knife in my back.

Was he really done with me?

Had I really fucked him up this bad?

Aaliyah had texted me a few times, asking how things were going, to which I asked the same.

They had finally found a house in Tennessee, and were putting an offer in and before I knew it, she was officially leaving me February 14th.

Happy fucking Valentines Day to me.

Logan was leaving towards the start of February, so we planned to do a dinner at my parents house relatively soon.

Today was January 17th, and I was currently home alone since Gabe took Gemma to his parents house, and I spent my morning sleeping, only to be awakened by a puddle of milk soaking my sleep shirt.

That was a first.

I could feel the weight and wetness when I woke up, peeling the soggy shirt off of my chest.

I pumped before my chest exploded and then took a shower, now adding laundry to my to do list.

I spent most of the day cleaning.

Around dinner time, I was sitting on our old couch, searching job listings, but due to my criminal record, I couldn't find anything.

It would be so easy to go work for a grocery store or even a retail shop, but because of my damn criminal record I was getting nowhere.

I angrily shut my laptop, tossing it to the side and took a deep breath.

I kept checking my phone, waiting for any sort of message from anyone, but only adding to my boredom, there was nothing.

It felt like everyone kept going, and I was just stuck here, trapped between these four walls as I cooked and cleaned and washed baby bottles.

I was twenty one, and my life was already a housewife changing diapers.

I mindlessly stirred my mac and cheese, staring out the kitchen window, watching the world go by.

I took the pot of mac and cheese, a hot pad under it, and sat on the couch, continuing to watch Master Chef as I pumped, not wanting a repeat of this morning.

I grabbed my phone, scrolling through the different apps, not finding any of the games to be interesting.

I saw my baby apps, one of them being my pregnancy bump app and deleted it, cleaning out my phone when I was interrupted by it ringing.

Alex's name flashed across it, and I quickly answered, desperate for any sort of attention.

"Hello?" I answered a little too quickly, setting my pot of mac and cheese on my coffee table.

"Hi! Are you busy?" She asked and I shook my head before realizing how much of an idiot I was.

"No, I'm bored out of my mind, why?"

"Good! Do you want to join my friends and I out tonight? Oh wait.. you have the baby, don't you?"

"No, baby daddy has her. Where are you going?"

"There is this new club in downtown LA and my friend knows the owner's son" She explained, now on speaker as I fixed my pump.

"I thought I was your only friend" I teased, biting my lower lip, trying to stop the smile that wanted to spread across my face.

"Ha ha" She grumbled and I giggled, reaching for the TV remote. "Are you in or?" She asked and I sighed, contemplating my choices.

"I haven't exactly been to a club.. I don't even think I have anything club worthy" I admitted, feeling bashful at the confession.

"You're twenty one and you've never been to a club?" She asked, sounding genuinely shocked which only added to my guilt complex.

I mentally sighed, reminding myself that I've never been a normal young adult, and it was fine that she was surprised by this revelation.

Yeah because I'm a recovering drug addict,

"No, I haven't. They're fun, no?" I asked and I could practically hear the excitement in her voice as she told me all about the music and the drinking and the dancing.

"I'm not the best dancer"

"Come on mama! Those hips don't lie!"

I cringed, glancing down at my pudgy tummy.

"I um.. What do you wear to the club? I still look like four months pregnant" I frowned, still disappointed in my body.

After all, I'm barely in my young adulthood, and my body was already ruined.

No guy would want me now.

"A dress, something lacy, a two piece, a crop top. Anything sexy or slutty or fun" She expressed and my forehead wrinkled as I looked down at my body.

"That's not happening" I told her bluntly and she giggled which made me roll my eyes.

"Come on, you looked hot on New Years!"

"You were drunk. I literally still look pregnant"

"Some guys dig that"

"Not helping" I grumbled.

"Text me your clothing sizes and I'll pick you out something. After all, we aren't leaving till like 10 anyway" She said and I sighed, not wanting to give her my sizes.

After some convincing, I sent her my hip and waist size, and even my bra size, reminding her I'm still nursing so it couldn't have lace fronting.

Lately due to Gemma sucking too hard at my nipples, I've had to use nipple cream and pads to soothe them.

My milk has also been a little heavy lately, hence the leaking this morning, so I also have thicker nipple pads for my nursing bras to help prevent it happening in public.

I get it's normal, but it doesn't make it any less embarrassing.

Alex told me that she was going to go out shopping and that she'd FaceTime me some options lately to get the feel for my style, which meant I was left alone once again.

I ended up eating the whole box of mac and cheese by myself whilst listening to people argue about why their food was underdone, or why their ground beef was on fire.

Around 8:30, I had just gotten off the phone with Gabe after seeing how Gemma was doing, letting him know my plans for the night, when our buzzer rang.

I let Alex up, glancing down at my ugly panda pajamas and pink fuzzy bathrobe.

To make matters worse, my hair was tossed up on top of my head, and my acne was out of control.

Definitely not getting laid tonight, let alone anyone buying me some kiddy cocktails.

"Don't look at the mess, let's just fix it" I muttered, opening the door.

"You look hot, that's annoying" She laughed and I rolled my eyes, knowing I looked anything but.

"You look hot. I look like a mom who hasn't slept in four years" I looked down at my toes, seeing they needed to be clipped.

"It seems like you haven't showered in four years either" She joked and I glared.

"I showered this morning!" I exclaimed, feeling the need to defend myself.

I may look bad, but I didn't look that bad.

"Well, what's that then? Baby puke?" She asked, pointing to my shirt.

I glanced down and frowned, "It's mac and cheese. I dropped it on myself when I was- never mind. What did you buy me? Something that will make me feel fat and ugly?" I asked and she rolled her eyes, handing me the bag.

"I know you said no lace, but it's thick padding. Just try, and if it sucks, I have other options. Whatever you don't like we can return" She said and I nodded, both of us walking to my master bedroom.

"Don't um.. mind the bottles. I haven't washed them yet" I mumbled, seeing the empty milk bottles by my nightstand.

"Didn't notice. Now come on, go try them on and then we can figure out the hair and makeup"

I dumped the bag contents onto my bed, seeing a few different things.

"I am not wearing skin tight pleather jeans" I said immediately, already knowing that they will not be comfy with my thick thighs.

"Okay, well there's other options" She reminded me and I nodded, stifling through them.

"This is the bra?" I asked and she nodded. "It's cute, I'll give you that. I don't know if my boobs will fit though. I'm quite large in the chest area lately. I mean, I naturally have big boobs, but with breastfeeding and-" I rambled and she laughed, telling me she got it. "Sorry" I mumbled. "I haven't had human interaction in a while, didn't mean to ramble" I apologized, suddenly feeling extremely embarrassed.

"Try it on" She encouraged and I frowned, not sure if I wanted to attempt to put it on and then come back out and admit the defeat of it not fitting. "Also.. try on this skirt with it. I thought the pants could go with it, but I think this skirt is cuter" She tossed me a gray skirt and I nodded, walking over to the bathroom.

I decided not to turn towards the mirror, not wanting to see how fugly I looked right now.

I stripped from my clothes, my top loosening my messy bun, causing it to flop against my face.

I huffed, tugging the hair tie out.

I was left in granny panties, frowning at them.

Nothing makes you feel sexy like oversized underwear.

I had some thongs in my drawer, but I was too nervous to try them on and see how much I disliked them compared to my pre-pregnancy body.

My nipples were still quite dark, and looked quite raw from how often Gemma has been nursing lately.

I remember loving the way my boobs looked. Liking the size, and the way my nipples look. I even thought about getting nipple piercings at one point, but I'm glad I didn't.

I slipped on the gray skirt, seeing the elastic band going over my stomach. It seemed to hold everything into place, but I was too afraid to do the jump test.

I sat it up pretty high just to make sure everything was held into place, reaching over for the bra. I noticed how thick the padding was, and I smiled softly at the fact that she listened.

I squeezed my boobs a little, making sure nothing was going to come out as I tried this bra on just in case we had to return it, not knowing if I needed to grab a nipple pad or not.

Thankfully, nothing came out since I had just pumped, and I slipped it over my head, the back of it acting like a bralette, just it had more support under the boobs than my older bralettes.

I finally turned around in the mirror, thankful that it wasn't suffocating my chest.

With how big my boobs have been due to nursing, I struggled to find tops, even to just sleep in, that didn't feel like they were skin tight against my chest.

The worst part is if it was skin tight, and the material would rub against your sensitive nipples.

I don't think I've ever ripped a shirt off my body faster than the night I first experienced that horrid sensation.

I turned a bit in the mirror, bouncing a little to see if anything jiggled in an unattractive way. I noticed certain things move, but all I could hear in my head was Colby telling me how much he loved it.

I thankfully didn't look too bad, thanking God that this skirt really kept everything in place.

I tried not to let my eyes scan, and reminded myself that she said clubs were usually dark, much like New Years Eve.

One thing I couldn't ignore though, were the white heads on my face.

I don't know how long I sat there picking and prodding at my face, but eventually a knock on the door caught my attention, my cheeks bright red now from being messed with.

"Sorry, I was picking at my pimples" I chuckled, opening the door, feeling the heat on my ears at the fact that I had been in the bathroom for so long.

"Holy shit, you look so good! It's definitely the one!" She complimented, scanning me. "Hm.. do you have any black shoes? Like black strappy heels?" She asked and I nodded, walking over to my closet.

We ended up finding some black heels to go with it, placing them next to the bathroom doorway, silently praying I didn't forget about them and trip on my way out.

"You said you showered earlier, right?" She asked and I nodded, "Good, then we can do your hair!" She smiled and I laughed, Alex reminding me a lot of Aaliyah the night I got ready for my date with Silas.

I wonder how he's doing. He was a really nice guy..

"Let's do lipstick last. I have to keep eating and drinking since I'm breastfeeding. Aaliyah always yelled at me for wearing away lipstick quickly" I snickered, a pain of hurt hitting my chest as I remembered she was moving away. "Wait, let me grab my water bottle before you do my hair" I quickly walked to the kitchen, filling up my gigantic water bottle.

I was definitely going to have to pee when we got there.

"I swear this thing weighs as much as my literal child" I laughed, placing the heavy bottle on my bathroom counter.

"Do you want your hair up, down... half and half?" She asked, playing with it a little bit.

"Um.. down. It hides stuff"

"What's there to hide?"

"Uh.. everything" I let out an uncomfortable laugh, Alex shaking her head in disagreement.

"You look pretty, shut up"

"Well what do you want to do to my hair?"

"This" She murmured, moving my hair to the side and placing a soft kiss next to my ear.

"Alex" I whispered, my eyes closing as she kissed closer to my mouth.

"Tell me to stop" She whispered and I sighed, knowing I should but I really didn't want to.

"Alex, we really shouldn't"

"Yeah, but it's fun" She looked at me in the mirror.

"Yeah.. it is" I sighed, giving into her. Her hand pulled my jaw towards her, kissing me softly. "You're not drunk right now, right?" I questioned, wanting to make sure we weren't going to have a repeat of New Years Eve.

I'm all down for kissing her, but I was in no mood to go any further with her tonight.

She shook her head, kissing me again, "Mm, nope, fully sober" She murmured and I nodded, letting the kiss deepen.

"Yep, definitely going to regret that" I laughed, wiping some of the lipstick off the side of her mouth. "You're definitely going to need to reapply" I giggled, biting my bottom lip.

"Mm, it was worth it though, now we better hurry before we end up in bed together and not downing drinks at the club" She laughed, slapping my ass before grabbing the curling iron. "You're not into a pain kink right?" She asked and my eyes widened.

"What?!"

"I'm kidding!" She quickly said and I eyed her, not believing her.

"I don't believe you, and to answer your question. No. I do not. If you burn me with that curling iron, it's going to be shoved where the sun doesn't shine" I threatened and my jaw dropped. "Alex!" I gasped and she giggled, plugging in the curling iron.

"Damn, you look hot" Alex whistled and I rolled my eyes, fixing my hair.

"Not to give a double standard, but I much rather you whistle at me then some dick on the street" I chuckled, eyeing my appearance in the mirror.

"I like the way the outfit hugs your curves. You look good"

"Am I going to ruin this moment for you if I tell you I need to pump before we leave?" I asked and she laughed, shaking her head.

"Of course not! Go be a mom! Where do you pump? Do you want me to wait in the living room or?" She asked and I shrugged.

"I can pump wherever. I just need to grab the parts from the kitchen. I don't know if this would make you uncomfortable.. but I could pump whilst we do my makeup?" I suggested and Alex nodded, grabbing a black and blue bag. "I have a bra that works for pumping so I'm not just whipping out a boob at you" I chuckled, my boobs a little sore now.

"Whatever you want to do, I'm going to clean the brushes real quick" She grabbed a handful of brushes and a sponge, stepping aside so I could exit the bathroom.

When I got back, I sat down and started putting the parts together, having done this so many times I could do it in my sleep now.

"Um.. do you want me to put on a bra? Or cover?" I asked and she didn't pay attention to me, mumbling "Whatever you want" so I just unclipped my bra, connecting the pump, making sure the bottles were tight.

"How do you normally do your makeup?" Alex questioned aloud, drying her brushes.

"Um.. I'm not the best, my brother's actually better than me now" I snickered, "I'm not terrible, but I definitely am not good at like.. late night looks. I'm more of a shimmer and or natural glam type of girl. I haven't properly done my makeup since Before Gemma came. I've done some stuff for New Years and Christmas.. but it wasn't anything impressive. I like your makeup" I noted, looking at her eyeshadow and highlight.

I texted with Aaliyah whilst Alex started working on my face, letting my boobs empty the milk into bottles.

I loved how comfortable I felt with Alex.

It only felt weird for a moment to be openly pumping in front of her, but she didn't make a big deal about it as she moved around my face, putting who knows what on different areas of my skin.

It was nice.

Once we were done, I inspected her work in the mirror, feeling like a whole new woman.

Makeup was magical.

A/N: Makeup look, outfit above, black strappy heels, hair curled and down

"You're a miracle worker" I praised, turning my head a little to catch the highlight against the bathroom mirror.

"Please" She scoffed, cleaning her brushes again whilst I kept tilting my face in the mirror.

"You hid all the redness from my picking" I noted, not seeing an ounce of irritated skin.

"You keep complaining about your acne, it really isn't that bad. Yeah you have acne, but so what" She replied nonchalantly.

"Let me slip that bra back on, grab my shoes and bag, put these in the freezer, and I'm ready"

"You wanted to brush your teeth, we still need to do your lipstick. Do you have to pee?" She asked, glancing over at my water bottle.

"Oh shit. God, this is why I'm always late" I griped out of breath, quickly hurrying to the kitchen to go put the breastmilk in the freezer.

I always heard that when you forgot to do it, that it felt like the worst thing in the world to pour it down the sink.

Thankfully, that hasn't happened to me yet.

I quickly sharpied the date on it, tossing the bags into the freezer before going to find my shoes and toothbrush.

"Leigh, we're not in a rush. Honestly, the later the better. Slow down before you break an ankle" She warned and I rolled my eyes, shoving her out of the bathroom so I could pee and brush my teeth in peace.

By the time we were out the door, I was extremely out of breath.

"Are you going to make it?" She laughed, turning the key in her car.

"No" I breathed out, huffing like I just ran the hardest race of my life.

"I can see that" She giggled.

It was about a 30 minute drive to the club, so we listened to the radio and had some small conversation, but somehow we landed on the topic of Colby.

"I know this is dumb, but I'm really disappointed I didn't get to wear the outfit I planned to his party. It sucks to have missed it. He did so much for me on my birthday.. he literally.." I paused, memories flashing through my head. "He.. he flew out and hung out with my relatives.. he fit in so well. It's like he's always been there.. and it just felt so nice.. and here I am, tearing his heart into pieces right before his, and now I don't even know what he did" I frowned, leaning my head against my hand, my elbow resting on the window console.

"Colby's the guy you were sort of seeing before we met right?" Alex asked and I groaned.

"I wasn't even seeing him. It's messy. We think we like each other, but I'm not ready, and I'm worried that he's in it for the wrong reasons" I confessed.

"Honestly Leighton, it sounds like you could really use this night out. Let's go drink and party and forget about all of our problems. We both look hot as fuck, so let's go find someone to mess around with and have a good time. Forget about this Colby guy, he's a nobody now. Let's go do something we'll regret"

* * * *

What do we think of Alex?

Written on: July 8th, 9th, 10th 2022

Word Count: 3.6k

Part Eight

#colbybrock #colbybrockimagine #colbybrockfanfiction #wattpad #colbybrockwattpad #samgolbach #samandcolby #samandcolbywriting #lesbianimagine #lesbian #pride

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kurt-wagner-official · 4 months

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Post #104: UXM issues 220-222

We open with a little dream sequence, implied but not confirmed to be Ororo's. It's about two birds soaring through the air, until one suddenly turns to a machine and attacks his mate. She's mortally wounded and falls to the ground, unable to fly. In the real world, Ororo is talking to Logan. She tells him that she's going to find Forge and beg for her powers back. When last she saw him, she said she'd be back for revenge some day, but after everything she's lost since, she's given up her pride so he can get back the power she needs to protect her team. She tells Logan she needs him to lead the team until she returns, and he reluctantly agrees. Ororo leaves Dallas, and finds Forge's home abandoned. She enters to search for clues, and finds his holograms and security systems still online. They start replaying the night she was there, and she's forced to live through the trauma of her brief, tragic love with Forge once again. She goes to his lab, where the holograms are playing what happened after that day. Forge went mad from the guilt of what he had done to her, turning his room into an Ororo shrine and eventually fleeing to who knows where. As she turns to leave, Ororo runs into Naze, Forge's mentor who showed up to fight Dire Wraiths way back when and summoned some demons to help them. He also got murdered and replaced by one of the demons, but Ororo doesn't know that. He tells Ororo they both need to find Forge, who's been kidnapped by a demon called the Adversary, and he can help her track him down.

It's finally time for the Marauders rematch. To kick things off, we meet Mr. Sinister, the mysterious leader of the Marauders who orders them to go kill Madelyne once and for all before the X-Men or X-Factor find her. Back at the mansion, Ali is in the Danger Room training against a simulation of Anna, which pisses her off when she finds out. But their argument is interrupted when Logan gets a call from Maddy, who packs up the team and takes them to San Francisco. They arrive at the hospital at the same time as the Marauders, because how else would we get the fight scene? There's no time for a nice reunion with Maddy, as Logan orders Anna to evacuate her while the rest of the team fights the Marauders. In an open area, this battle is more evenly matched than the last one- but it turns out they're just keeping the X-Men busy while Malice sneaks around waiting for her opportunity. She finds one when Anna flies off with Maddy, and throws a skyscraper at them, knocking them into the bay. Ali jumps in after them and saves them, finally putting her rivalry with Anna behind her. But it may not last long, as Malice hovers over the water and prepares to finish the job.

Before she can, though, Alex, who's too far away to recognize her, blasts her. Anna goes to find Maddy, who was separated in the water, while Ali guards Malice until Betsy and Alex catch up. Alex is understandably surprised to see Lorna again, who reveals she was faking being unconscious and attacks him. Across the country, "Naze" is taking Ororo on a vision quest to find Forge. They're attacked by malevolent spirits, who they fight and defeat. Naze tells Ororo that it's Forge's fault; he had some vague destiny about protecting the world from demons, but the arrival of these may mean he's defected to the Adversary's side. Ororo says if that's the case, she'll end him, and Naze smiles evilly. In SF, Malice monologues to Alex about how this is what Lorna's always wanted, deep down, and even Betsy can't free her. Meanwhile, Anna is unable to find Maddy, and both she and the Marauders believe she's dead. Rather than stay and finish the battle, the Marauders clear out. As he watches Malice fly off, a heartbroken Alex tries to put her out of her misery, but is unable to penetrate her magnet shields. It seems like another failure for the X-Men, but lucky for them, Longshot stumbled across Maddy when he got thrown off the Golden Gate Bridge earlier in the battle and hid with her. This was a pretty good fight, but doesn't really hold a candle to the first Marauders fight. It's technically a rematch, but since most of the X-Men are either new or not present, it doesn't have as much weight, and it doesn't have the brutality of the last fight to make up for it. The stuff with Malice was good though. Claremont didn't do many Magneto stories before he turned good, and it's nice to have a reminder of how dangerous these powers are. Plus, it gives Lorna and Alex new and unique roles in the franchise, which Claremont was never able to find for most of the original X-Men. Something that isn't mentioned- has Alex not called Lorna since he rejoined the team? I'm gonna headcanon that Malice was just answering the phone in character, but it's weird that it's not mentioned. Also, starting from this story, Maddy goes from MacGuffin to character for the first time since like. That Alpha Flight mini. She's mourning her son, who's still missing, her relationship with Scott, and her entire life, which has been erased from all records. This is some really impressive coordination from Claremont and Simonson; Scott and Maddy's loneliness are made a lot more potent by them being in different books, but if you're reading both it adds to the tragedy.

#wes reads xmen

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heyitssmiller · 3 years

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Clandestine: Chapter Fourteen

We’re here. The final chapter. Y’all. I’m gonna cry.

@lumosinlove thanks for these characters!!

@donttouchmycarrots thanks for being my partner in crime during this whole mess of a story <3

And thank you, lovely readers!! For sticking with me for this crazy rollercoaster of a story, for encouraging me when I felt like quitting, and for always being so, so wonderful. I appreciate y’all more than I can say.

CW: prison, food, anxiety

Clandestine Masterlist

The drive back was silent, punctuated sharply by the two empty seats in the van. It was something they should’ve seen coming, but yet were completely blindsided by. Sirius had been on their side for so long now, it seemed odd to picture him anywhere else. It was like he’d been there for years already, fitting in seamlessly and making friends fast, filling a gap that hadn’t been obvious before but felt like a chasm now. He belonged in Gryffindor with them. And Regulus, while more reserved and distant than his brother, didn’t seem to deserve the fate he’d found. The main motive that kickstarted this whole mission had been him – all for him – and he still couldn’t avoid being dragged down with the Snakes.

Remus was on the phone with a contact from the FBI – he had been since they’d taken Sirius away – trying his hardest to find any loopholes he could. He was… actually strangely calm. Methodically tackling one idea after the next, his analytic brain working overtime. Logan could understand, though. Being productive was helpful. It was when things settled down and got quiet, when all you could do was sit there and wait…

That was when things got tough.

His leg bounced up and down in anticipation the closer they got to the cabin, his one-track mind stuck on one thing and one thing only – getting a blond safe-cracker into his arms again. Not having Leo with them had been like missing a limb, making everything feel out of balance. And even thought he was safe, he was still too far away. Logan couldn’t stand it.

Finn reached over and placed a hand on Logan’s with a knowing smile. He was ready to be home, too.

Gravel crunching under their tires only fueled the eagerness. There were lights still on in the cabin, a warm, inviting pull. The front door was open before the cars had pulled to a complete stop, revealing Leo and Hope and Lyall. Julian was presumably asleep, given the hour. Logan’s seatbelt was thrown off and the door closest to him was yanked open, Finn hot on his heels.

Leo bounded down the steps of the porch and flung himself at the two of them, finding every inch of space between them and filling it, a soft sound escaping from his lips as he held on tight in a one-armed grip. Logan and Finn both stumbled back a few steps at the impact but quickly returned the embrace, Logan’s face buried in the junction between neck and shoulder and Finn’s forehead pressed against the blond’s. They seemed to take their next breaths in tandem, slow and steady, as they leaned into each other. Time slowed, everything in the periphery faded, and the world, previously off-kilter, evened out in equilibrium.

Finn suddenly realized he felt the coarse, scratchy texture of Leo’s sling pressed up against him and pulled back a little. “Careful, baby.”

That made Leo pull back. “Why?” He glanced over them nervously. “Are you hurt?”

Logan sighed long-sufferingly and cupped Leo’s face in his hands, looking him in the eyes with a fond expression that belied his exasperation. “No, but you are,” he moved his hands to smush Leo’s cheeks, causing Finn to laugh, “so take it easy.”

Leo smiled – a real one this time, not one of the fake ones he’d given them before they left – and relaxed. After a quick kiss from Logan he asked, “So it went well? Mission’s done?”

Logan and Finn both froze at that. Finn looked over to Remus, who was still on the phone (like he had been for the past hour at least) and frowned.

“Not quite.”

“We can talk inside,” Leo said, looking worried again. “there’s lots of food for y’all.”

He wasn’t wrong. Food covered pretty much every open surface of the countertops, ranging from pancakes to grilled cheese to the cinnamon swirl muffins Leo brought to their first briefing all those months ago. Finn smiled at the memories and instantly snagged one on their way to the kitchen table. His eyes landed on Talker, who was explaining something to Hope as she took a look at his leg. Nat, Kasey, and Alex were piled onto one couch, looking tired and each with a grilled cheese sandwich in hand. He could see Remus on the porch every once in a while when he passed by a window as he paced, phone pressed to his ear.

It didn’t bode well.

Logan sat down with a plate of pancakes drenched in syrup and started telling the story, voice a quiet murmur and only interrupted when he shoveled food into his mouth. Finn wondered how none of them had really seen this coming. In hindsight, it made sense that there would need to be a trial – after all, Sirius and his brother weren’t innocent. Finn wasn’t sure what happened next, though. Criminal trials and sentencing weren’t part of the job for them. He hoped they could get the brothers out of this mess, though. If anyone could find a way to do it, it would be Remus.

At least the Snakes were done for. The information on the flash drives was enough to lock them away for a very, very long time.

He took a bite of his muffin, no longer really hungry, and listened to Logan talk.

***

Remus sat down on the porch swing, tired and stressed and not at all ready to quit. He listened to Alice, his only contact in the FBI, rattle off some statistics that he couldn’t even begin to understand. And he wasn’t trying to be rude – that really wasn’t his intent – but he needed to act quickly about this. So he grimaced and cut her off. “Can we get them placed in another prison? Or even in solitary until we can figure something out? If the Snakes can get to them…”

Well. Remus didn’t think they’d show much mercy to the two people mainly responsible for putting them in jail.

Alice sighed, the sound of her rummaging around in her desk filtering through the phone. “We can try. Since they did help you guys, we should be able to swing it. If something jeopardizes their lives, it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

Remus’ heart twisted – a deep, chronic ache under his ribcage that refused to let up. “Do it fast. I’m going to start reaching out to lawyers.”

“Lupin, it’s four in the morning.”

“I know.” He ran a hand through his hair with a frustrated huff. “Thanks for all the help, Alice.”

He hung up, then braced his forearms on his knees, hands gripping his hair, and breathed.

If there was one thing Remus Lupin was good at, it was planning. It was his job, and a big part of the reason he’d switched from field work in the first place. He relied on structure to get through his days, needed the stability in order to function.

There was none of that.

This was being adrift at sea, constantly assaulted by the waves and the current without rescue in sight.

And Remus had no idea what to do.

His phone pinged, catching his attention. A text from Alice flashed across the screen.

I’ve got a friend who’s a lawyer, and she’s a damn good one. I know you’ll want to do your research on her yourself, but I can vouch for her too. Here’s her contact if you want to reach out.

The contact number and email were listed under the name Dorcas Meadowes.

***

Dorcas Meadowes was, to put it simply, awe-inspiring.

Black curls, a dark complexion, and a serious, no-funny-business expression on her face. Her office was neat and organized, a few pictures around the place of her and a blonde girl with a wide grin and freckles. There was a small pride flag on her desk. Without a word, she motioned for Remus to sit, cool and composed and ready to get to work.

That was all it took for Remus to instantly respect her.

“So I’ve heard some of the story from Alice, but I’ll need you to start at the very beginning. Don’t leave out any details, tell me everything.”

Remus did, settling into the chair and getting comfy. It was a long story, after all. When he was done he looked back up at Dorcas, whose face was expressionless except for a single, raised eyebrow.

“That’s…” she trailed off with a low whistle.

“Yeah.”

“Well, the good news is that, if we’ve got enough evidence to back your story up, we can reduce his sentence by a lot, maybe even get him released.”

Remus sagged back into the chair, relief taking over and wiping out the tension radiating through his muscles. “Great.”

He’d known, logically, that they’d be able to reduce his sentence. With all the work he put into taking the Snakes down, there was no way they’d give him a full sentence. But getting him out of there for good…

Remus had never wanted anything so much in his life.

Dorcas leaned forward, powering her laptop on. “We’ll go visit him in the next few days and tell him what’s going on, but first we need a plan. Here’s what I’m thinking…”

***

Sirius hated this.

He was bored, he was tired, and – more than anything – he was lonely.

In Gryffindor, he’d become so accustomed to always having at least someone with him at all times. It was usually Remus, but he’d also grown close to most of the team. And it was nice at the time – god, did he miss it. But it was painful now. He’d witnessed what his life could be like, happy and surrounded by friends and possibly in love, and now he was back to the way his life used to be. Alone and on the wrong side of the law.

He hadn’t seen Reg since they’d been escorted into isolation for their own safety. Which don’t get him wrong – he was grateful for it. Knowing Riddle, they wouldn’t have survived the night if they were all being held together. But it was too quiet now.

The door to his cell rattled and Sirius looked up sharply. A guard was standing there, unlocking his door and opening it.

“Come with me,” the guard said, sounding bored as he opened the door further and held out a pair of handcuffs. Sirius looked at him hesitantly, not moving an inch. The guard rolled his eyes. “You have visitors.”

Sirius perked up at that, the only thought running through his head being Remus. He knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t going to take this sitting down. He’d be fighting to get Sirius free, no doubt about it. He wasn’t sure who else would be visiting him, anyways – if someone was here, it was sure to be Remus.

So Sirius got up and held his wrists out to be cuffed, then watched as the officer pointed down the hall.

“This way.”

It took all the self-control Sirius had to not run, to slowly put one foot in front of the other until he finally reached his destination. The guard moved around him to open the door and then Sirius was moving again.

He spotted caramel curls as soon as the door opened to the visitation room and felt his shoulders sag with relief. “Remus.”

Worried brown eyes followed him as he crossed the room quickly to sit in front of him, separated by a thick wall of glass. The movies weren’t lying, apparently. But it was so good to see him that Sirius didn’t care.

Remus looked tired. Unfortunately, that didn’t surprise Sirius at all. He knew the tendency to overwork all too well at this point. More than anything, it made Sirius want to get out of there, to wrap him up in his arms and let him take a nap there, to make sure he was taking care of himself. He settled for giving him a stern look instead.

“You need to get some sleep.”

Sirius expected a sharp, witty retort. Some sass, a comeback of some kind. Instead, Remus did the unthinkable and just smiled. “I missed you.”

Sirius sighed, softening at the gentle admission. He’d missed Remus too, of course. More than he could really put into words, and it had barely been a day. The smell of his shampoo, the quiet, reassuring presence of him by Sirius’ side, those eyes that just seemed to see right through him and know even the things Sirius tried to keep hidden. He found he didn’t mind it too much - not when it was Remus.

“I missed you,” he echoed in agreement, refusing to look away until someone cleared their throat loudly. Sirius looked over to a woman sitting next to Remus, looking unimpressed. Sirius hadn’t even known she was there, as wrapped up in Remus as he was.

Remus, to Sirius’ endless delight, blushed. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Remus blush before. It was cuter than it had any right to be. “Um, Sirius this is Dorcas. She’ll be representing you in court.”

Right.

He had to go on trial.

Dorcas took over from there. “We think, with the evidence we have, that we can get the charges reduced, maybe dropped if we’re lucky. If you can think of any evidence we don’t know about, we can use that to strengthen your case, too.”

Sirius nodded, relieved. That sounded better than he thought he’d get, to be honest. “What about Reg?” he asked, looking between the two.

Dorcas was very hard to read, Sirius realized. And Remus looked confident… until he looked over at the lawyer. Then his expression flickered.

And Sirius’ heart sank.

“That’s a bit trickier,” Dorcas stated slowly, treading carefully. “The thing is, he never tried to get out. He stayed with the Snakes. And I know it’s not easy to get out of situations like that,” she rushed to continue when she saw the look on Sirius’ face, “but the fact still stands. And he didn’t do as much to help take the Snakes down, not like you did. We can probably reduce his sentence, but he’ll be in prison longer than you. I don’t think we can fix that.”

Sirius felt himself being torn in two different directions. He wanted to be free, to be able to live his life again. Maybe make a home in Gryffindor (or maybe move in permanently with a certain spy), get a job as a consultant. He’d make sure the poor houseplant in Remus’ apartment survived, the poor thing, and he’d keep Remus’ favorite tea stocked in the cupboard. He’d be able to relax for – well, the first time in a very long time.

But his brother.

He was the main reason Sirius got out in the first place. The reason he ended up in Gryffindor, this entire mission was for him. To get him out, to make sure he was safe.

What was the point, if he was stuck in jail while Sirius got to walk free?

He could practically hear his brother telling him how stupid he was being in that dry voice of his, but he pushed the thought away. He’d made up his mind, and it was practically impossible to sway him when that happened.

Sweet, caramel eyes might test him, though.

Sirius looked up at Remus guiltily, dreading the response he was going to get. But yet again, Remus took him by surprise and smiled sadly.

“I understand.”

Those words hit Sirius like a freight train. He sucked in a deep breath, eyes stinging and throat getting tight. “I’m sorry.”

Remus just shook his head. “Don’t be.”

Sirius loved him.

Remus glanced over at a confused Dorcas. “He can’t leave his brother. Whatever sentence Reg gets, Sirius wants to do the same.”

She was silent for a long time, looking back and forth between the two of them. Then she sighed, seeming resolute. “Well then we’d better get those charges as low as we can.”

***

Four Weeks Later

Leo found Remus in the courthouse hallway during the trial recess before they were supposed to reconvene for the sentencing, looking seconds away from pacing from one side of the building to the other. The past few weeks had been hard on all of them. Between coming to terms with everything that had happened in the recent months, to trying to figure out the evidence they needed to bring forward to try and get the charges dropped against both Sirius and Regulus, to the strange feeling in the Agency brought forth by Sirius’ absence, it had been weird for all of them. Remus had been hit the hardest by all of it, though – and understandably so. That didn’t make it any easier to watch, though.

He’d been running himself to the bone the past four weeks, going above and beyond to make sure everything was in order for the trial. He looked ready to drop, if Leo was being honest.

But he understood. If it were Logan or Finn in Sirius’ place… well. He’d already figured out just how far he’d go for them.

He put a hand on Remus’ arm, trying to be as calming as possible. “You’re going to be ok,” he said carefully, choosing his words meticulously. He didn’t want to be cold, but he didn’t want to get Remus’ hopes up only for them to be dashed.

Carmel eyes met his own, and Leo sighed at the stress he saw there. He looked tired – so tired.

“What do you need?” Leo asked quietly, hoping for some sort of guidance on how to help him, how to get that look off of his face.

Remus just laughed under his breath, a sad sound. “There’s a lot of things I need.” He shuffled on his feet, gathering his sleeves in his hands. “But a hug would be a good start.”

Not hesitating, Leo gathered him into a hug, the stretch pulling at the scar tissue in his shoulder that was finally free of a sling. Remus was tense and still for a while, then relaxed into it. Leo wished he could do more, wished he could make any sort of difference in this situation. But everything was so far out of their control now; the only thing left to do was wait.

“Whatever happens, we’re here for both of you. You’re not alone in this.”

Remus stepped away with a fake attempt at a smile. “Yeah.”

There was a visual cue that neither of them seemed to catch and people started filtering back into the courtroom, making Remus’ face grow paler and more pinched. Leo stuck by his side as they walked back inside, trying to ignore the soft sound Remus made when he saw Sirius again – all the way in the front, in a jumpsuit that looked too big for him, hair longer and eyes a little duller than they remembered, fidgeting with something in his cuffed hands. Regulus was next to him, head down and avoiding everyone’s eyes. Leo just stuck to Remus’ side as they squeezed into the row of chairs with the rest of the Agency, making sure Remus was right in the middle, surrounded by so many of the people who cared about him most. Finn and Logan sat down next to him with grim smiles.

Leo reached over to tangle his fingers with Finn’s, feeling him squeeze back gently. The bruises were completely gone from his face, and he was walking limp-free now. He dropped his head onto Logan’s shoulder, having to angle his shoulders down to rest somewhat comfortably against the shorter man.

Leo would never get over the height difference.

“I’m taking a nap when we get home. This is so stressful, oh my god.” Finn sighed, making Leo smile.

Home.

That was still somewhat new for the three of them. After a few days back in their separate apartments in Gryffindor, they’d realized how incredibly codependent they’d become during their mission. Leo would find himself staring up at the ceiling most nights, worrying about the other two, until he’d get a phone call from one of them and they’d end up driving to each other and collapsing in bed together, squished together just like those hotel rooms they’d shared. And it had gotten to the point where there wasn’t any point living in different apartments when they ended up together most nights anyways, so Leo and Logan had packed up their things and moved in with Finn. He had the largest bed, anyways.

So yeah. They lived together now. And Leo was ridiculously pleased about it.

They were taking that vacation in a few weeks, too – the one Finn had first brought up in the back of a getaway car, tears in his eyes and blood on his hands. Somewhere warm, just like he’d promised. He’d get to watch Logan tan and Finn turn red like a lobster, only to go straight back to pale. They’d get some time to relax and not stress about work – just themselves and the vast expanse of beach and water in front of them.

Leo couldn’t wait.

“We’ll take that nap together.” Logan answered Finn quietly, turning his head to meet Leo’s eyes as he pressed an affectionate kiss to Finn’s head. Leo smiled at him, the sense of one chapter ending and the next beginning washing over him.

Whatever came their way, they’d be ok. They’d proven that already.

The crowd hushed as the judge sat back down, face impassive.

“We have reviewed the evidence and testaments brought forward in defense of Sirius and Regulus Black.” He started, looking down at the two in question critically as everyone in the courtroom seemed to hold their breath.

“It still doesn’t change the fact that they committed crimes while with the organization,” the judge stated firmly, then continued, “Regulus and Sirius Black are hereby sentenced to one year in prison.”

The gavel slammed.

Remus sat there in quiet disbelief.

They’d done… everything. They’d worked so hard for the past month in attempts to let Sirius and Regulus’ sentences reduced – and that was technically a reduced sentence – but it was still more than any of them had been expecting.

A year.

They hadn’t done enough.

Remus almost missed all the movement around him, too busy staring at the back of the seat directly in his line of vision, but his gaze snapped up when an achingly familiar voice called his name.

Sirius slowed to a stop as he passed Remus on his way out, eyes wide and frantic. Desperate. It broke Remus’ heart, more than it already was. “Wait for me?” He asked intently, like his sole focus was on Remus and his answer. He shoved his open palms out, revealing what he’d been fidgeting with during the entire trial. Remus looked down to find an origami flower, conveying all of Sirius’ hopes for the future within the delicate folds.

Remus wished more than anything that he could reach for him; to pull him in tight, hold him close, and refuse to let the guards take him away. He also had the half-formed plans of a jail break already in mind, even though he knew Sirius would never agree to it. It was then that his eyes locked with the gray ones he’d come to know better than his own and he knew – he knew that he’d wait, however long it took.

Remus loved him.

It wasn’t a grand revelation, it wasn’t sudden. In all honesty Remus had probably felt that way for a long time now, the truth prodding at the back of his head, nagging at his subconscious. He loved Sirius, plain and simple. Simple except for the fact that one of them was going to jail for a year. And yet, no matter how complicated it got, no matter how much time went by, it was the easiest decision Remus had ever made.

Well. If love made people crazy, Remus was certifiably insane.

He smiled a little tearfully at Sirius and nodded fiercely, picking up the paper flower delicately.

“You know I will.”

#lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast #coops #sirius black #remus lupin #o'knutzy #finn o'hara #logan tremblay #leo knut #clandestine #cw: food #cw: prison #cw: anxiety

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onlydreamofmysoul · 3 years

Text

Headlines

A fun cubs come out fic!

Characters and their world by @lumosinlove

@im-oknutzy-trash - here you go!

(Just one last note - there is one scene with a little spicy quip but it doesn’t get in any way explicit :))

“I’m home!” Finn called as he came through the door to their apartment, duffle bag falling off his shoulder and crashing into the door.

“Wow.” Logan commented, coming over to help him. “Home for less than a minute and you’re already trying to wreck the place.”

“Oh hush.” Finn said, dropping his bags and pulling Logan in by the waist. “Hello to you too.”

Logan grinned and went soft, leaning into Finn’s kiss. “How was Alex?”

They moved away from the door to the couch, Logan setting Finn’s bag aside to be dealt with later.

“Good, Kase and Nat are going out to see him in a few days so he was all excited.”

Logan laughed, kicking off his shoes to curl his feet under him. “Now that I get.”

Finn smiled and glanced around. “Where’s Leo?”

“He just had to pop out to the shop. We’re out of milk. He should be back soon though.”

Finn nodded, looking down at his hands, fiddling with his fingernails. “Hey Lo?”

“Yeah?”

“I was thinking about… well what if… So like, you know Cap and Loops, right?”

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Our teammates? Yeah I think I’m vaguely familiar with them.”

Finn huffed, rolling his eyes. “Wow sassy. You know that’s not what I meant.”

Logan tilted his head to the side in acquiescence, letting Finn continue.

“I want to be like them.” Finn said quickly. “Can we be like them?”

He watched Logan frown for a moment, trying to figure out the difference between Remus and Cap and them. “Wait,” He murmured, eyes meeting Finn’s. “Do you mean?”

Finn nodded. “Yeah. I think maybe we’re ready?”

Logan opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by Leo coming in.

“Hey Lo!” He said, without even looking around yet. “I got milk and that bread you like. Did Finn message you yet, he definitely should have landed by now.”

Leo reached the counter, putting the milk in the fridge before turning around and finally noticing the two boys in the room.

“I think his flight landed.” Logan said dryly, watching Leo take in Finn’s presence.

“Hi baby.” Finn said, with a smile, truly grinning when Leo left the shopping bag half-empty and came over to kiss him hello instead.

“Hi.” Leo said, slipping into the gap between his two boys. “I missed you.”

Finn heard himself make a pleased noise as he leaned in to kiss Leo again. “Missed you too.”

“So,” Leo said as he pulled away, pulling Logan’s feet onto his lap. “What’re we talking about?”

Finn met Logan’s green eyes, pausing for a moment. “Um, I uh…”

Logan kicked his foot forward to nudge it against Finn’s thigh. “I got it Harzy.” He then turned to Leo. “We were thinking, maybe it’s time for us to come out? It’d be nice I think, not having to hide.”

Finn watched Leo carefully as the younger boy blinked in surprise before a small smile took over his face.

“Yeah,” He breathed, looking between Logan and Finn. “Yeah that would be nice.” He bit his lip, looking smug and mischievous and Finn thought he might be falling in love all over again. “But I think we should have some fun first.”

****

Logan stumbled off the bus wearily - that four hour bus ride had just seemed to go on forever. Reporters stood outside the door to the hotel, despite the cold and the late hour but Logan leaned into Leo’s side anyways, Leo’s arm around his shoulder, Logan’s hand beneath his jacket. Photographers went wild, cameras shuttering quickly and Logan hid his smile in Leo’s jacket. This was going to be a whole lot of fun.

****

Leo looked up as Marlene entered the locker room, glancing around to see who might be ready and available for an interview. Leo caught her eye and waved her over.

“Hey Leo, how about a quick video for social media? I won’t keep you longer than five minutes.”

Leo smiled, he didn’t mind, this was all a part of their plan, the team and the rest of the staff had been made somewhat aware. Plus, he liked Marlene so he never had a problem with the interviews. “Sure.”

“Okay great!” She gave him a thumbs up as she started recording. “So, just last night, pictures of you and Logan Tremblay were released as you got off the bus - have you anything to say about them?”

Leo nodded, grinning. “Don’t forget James photobombing in the background. I think he was going for a ‘bunny ears’ effect but it ended up looking like he was doing it to Kasey instead. I think I need to get a copy framed.”

Marlene laughed, moving on. “So you and Logan are close then?”

Leo looked around the room comically. “What? You mean right now? Cause He’s in the PT room so a lot of the guys are closer.”

Marlene bit her lip, her eyes sparkling. “How do you feel about this game then?”

Leo sat back, finally going to answer a question honestly. “I’m feeling good. We’ve had a great start this season and I’m pretty confident.”

Marlene gave him another thumbs up and headed off to go chat to some of the other guys. A few stalls over, Finn met Leo’s eyes and blew him a kiss.

*******

“The media seems to have calmed down a bit.” Logan commented as they all sat at home watching a movie. “Think it’s time for our next one?”

“Ooh, yes!” Finn enthused. “I call being in this one.”

Logan laughed and pulled out of the way so he could take a picture of Finn kissing Leo’s cheek, Leo’s face all scrunched up in a smile.

“There you go, post it.”

Finn grinned, going to Instagram and putting up the picture with the caption ‘Days like this’ before tagging Leo for good measure.

“That should entertain them for a couple of days.” He said, satisfied as he tossed his phone to another chair and leaned back into Logan’s warmth, kissing the spot just below his ear.

“You and me next baby,”

****

Leo Knut and Finn O’Hara?

More than one couple in the Lion’s Den?

Knut cheating on Tremblay?

Logan laughed as he scrolled through the headlines and posts from fan accounts, taking screenshots of some of the art of them that had already begun to bubble up. Thomas was on the other side of him, watching a video of a fan analysing the teams interactions, trying to figure out who was actually in a relationship, laughing every few minutes.

“Knutty,” Logan called, summoning Leo. “Look at this one.”

Leo took his phone and read the caption out loud. “Knut’s betrayal making Tremblay tremble?” He looked up and met Logan’s eyes, his face blank. “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.”

“I do!” Finn interrupted, coming up behind Logan and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “Okay Lo, you hold up the article, now someone take our picture please!”

Logan ginned and relaxed into Finn as James snapped them together before posting it to his own account. ‘Doesn’t seem to be trembling to me.”

****

“I’m gonna go get some coffee, do you guys wanna come?” Leo said, the three of them still lying in bed. Finn shook his head, still mostly asleep, but Logan perked up.

“From the café down the street?”

Leo nodded, laughing when Logan was up like a shot, pulling on his clothes.

“We’ll bring you back some, okay sweetheart?” Leo said as he leaned over the bed once more to kiss Finn goodbye. Finn just nodded and burrowed deeper into the duvet.

“Love you.” He mumbled and the two boys left him to his dreams, slipping out of the room quietly.

They walked down the street, hand in hand, going mostly unnoticed by the public. It was still early and a Sunday, so there weren’t too many people up and about, but even those that were paid them very little attention. It was easy to forget, in moments like this, that they had entire fan pages dedicated to them and many days they weren’t even recognised on the street.

They got their coffee and drank it there, holding hands over the table outside the front door, watching the people passing by and chatting idly. Leo thought he spotted someone taking a not-so-discreet picture of them, but they didn’t care. Logan went inside to grab Finn’s cup to go and Leo lounged in the sunshine for a moment, breathing in the cool, sharp air.

He opened his eyes to find Logan standing over him, looking down amusedly. “D’accord, mon choupinet?"

Leo smiled and stood up, stretching lazily. “Oui.”

They came back home to Finn still in bed, and joined him under the covers while he sipped his coffee.

“Oh, look we’re back in the headlines.” Leo commented as he angled his phone for them both to see. A photo of Leo and Logan from just a half hour ago stared back at them, Logan laughing at something Leo had said.

“That’s such a cute picture,” Finn noted, putting on his glasses to take a closer look. “You should save that.”

Knut and Tremblay reunited? No news yet on how O’Hara is taking this latest blow.

“O’Hara would be doing fantastic if he had another kind of blow.” Finn grumbled, then blushed when he realised he had spoken out loud. “I mean-”

“Oh, we know what you meant.” Logan said, taking the nearly empty coffee cup from Finn and setting it on the nightstand as Leo eased Finn back, slipping under the covers as Logan captured his lips. “And that can be arranged.”

****

“So when do you guys think you’ll let them know what’s actually happening?” Remus asked Leo as he helped the blond boy with his stretching.

Leo bit his lip as he thought. “I don't know? Soon maybe though, because this is fun and all but I’m tired of being analysed all the time now. At least if we tell them the truth, they’ll be chasing after us for a couple of weeks but then it’ll all settle down and be nice and quiet again, you know?”

Remus nodded, smirking when Leo took a sharp intake of breath as he pushed his legs a little further apart. “Yeah for sure. It’ll be pure chaos for a bit, but then they’ll quickly move onto the next big thing, I promise.”

Leo nodded, a little lost in thought. “Yeah, I’m ready to have a bit of privacy again. I think I’ll say it to the boys tonight.”

Remus nodded and pushed Leo a little further, laughing when Leo cursed under his breath.

“Fuck, if I’m alive after all this that is.”

****

“Alright, we’re doing this so?” Logan confirmed, making sure everyone was in agreement.

“Yup.” Leo said, popping the ‘p’.

“It’s time.” Finn confirmed as they all pulled up the same picture they had chosen to post - a photo of the three of them taken at a party at Dumo’s. Logan sitting in Leo’s lap, head tilted up as he kissed Finn who was handing them their drinks.

“Captions ready?” Finn asked and the other two nodded. “Okay. Three,”

“Two,” Leo said.

“One.” Logan breathed and they all clicked ‘post’ at the same time.

The next day, all the headlines were their Instagram captions-

Leo and Logan.

Finn and Leo.

Logan and Finn.

(Three’s not a crowd).

#o'knutzy #coast to coast lumosinlove #lumosinlove #finn o'hara #Leo knut #logan Tremblay #o'knutzy fluff #cubs come out #o'knutzy coming out #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #thomas walker #sweater weather lumosinlove #James Potter

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moonofthenight · 3 years

Text

Welcome to New York

@spookypotato and I (thank you again <3) wrote a fic for the server event that is going on at the moment and I wanted to share it here too, enjoy!

O'Darwin and O'Knutzy belongs to @lumosinlove

CW mentions of food and beverages

It knocked on Leo’s door at 2pm sharp, which didn’t surprise him at all; Kasey was always so dead on time, it scared him sometimes. The two had planned this day for over two weeks now and since Finn and Logan had their date today, Leo used the free flat to invite the other goalie over. He closed the fridge before he made his way into the hallway to open the door.

“Hello Knutty, long time no see,” laughed Kasey as he pulled the blonde in for a short hug.

“Come in, come in. I got everything prepared in the kitchen.”

“I hope you can still live here after today.”

“Honestly Blizz? No one is as bad as Finn and Logan at cooking, believe me. What they are able to do to food shouldn’t be possible.”

“I don’t even want to know.”

To prevent that from happening, Leo chose a simple meal to start with. When Kasey asked him to teach him how to cook he was a bit surprised at first, but he actually enjoyed the idea of teaching someone.

“Let’s start with chopping the vegetables, that should be easy, non?”, Leo suggested. It was better to know now, if this would be like the times he tried to teach Logan and Finn.

Surprisingly, the following minutes weren’t a complete disaster like he had expected, Kasey was actually quite decent at cooking and followed Leo’s instructions without trouble. It was fun to spend time together and their cheeks were still a bit red from all the laughter when they went over to the kitchen table.

Just as Leo was about to sit down his phone rang, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

It was a text from Finn.

Alex will be home over the weekend too, just wanted to let you know.

He was halfway through typing out an answer when he got an idea.

Don’t tell him Lo and I will be there

What? Why?

Let's bring Nat and Kase as a surprise. It won't be as obvious if he thinks we all can't come

I love you

Knew you'd like it, lyt

***

They had lost Kasey and Natalie in the airport, when Finn decided to buy Leo and Logan each an 'I heart NY-boys' shirt. A quick call told them that the couple was already outside.

It was colder in New York, the sky was grey but Finn felt warm when he stepped out of the airport. New York was home to him, it would always somehow be, and bringing Leo and Logan with him, especially Leo, since he hadn't been able to bring him as often yet, felt amazing. A warm body snuggled under his arm and he smiled.

“It’s cold,” Logan pouted and hid his face in Finn’s chest.

“I thought you were used to it. I'm pretty sure you even quoted Elsa on that once, baby."

When Logan just continued to pout, he gently leaned down to kiss his messy airplane curls, "If you let me go you can have my jacket.”

Logan was quiet for a minute, “No, you’re warmer.”

Leo chuckled and grabbed their suitcases, “Kase and Nat are over there. I think they spotted the taxi, let’s go.”

Logan peeled himself off of Finn, still pouting a bit but the thought of a warm car seemed to do the deal. Finn and Leo followed quickly, helping Kasey to put all their bags into the back of the car before getting in themselves. Finn leaned forward to tell the driver their destination.

It was quiet for a while after that, everybody was quite exhausted from the flight, Logan was already dosing off on Leo’s shoulder; he carefully moved his fingers through the brown curls, a loving look in his eyes.

“Thank you,” said Nat suddenly, looking at Leo.

“What did I do?”

“For coming up with the idea,” Kasey added, “We haven’t seen Alex for three months now, so, thank you for thinking of us.”

Leo smiled at them, “It’s unfair that you can't see him regularly and I thought it might be a nice surprise for him.”

“I hope he will like it,” Nat said sleepily, resting her head on Kasey’s shoulder.

“I’m glad my brother found you two, I really am. I mean, the distance sucks but he’s so happy with you. He deserves that more than anything,” said Finn and bumped his shoulder lightly with Kasey’s, careful not to wake Nat.

“I’m sorry.” Kasey said and Finn wasn't sure if it was to himself or someone else.

“What?”

“Well, I knew I loved your brother since Tampa and I didn’t have the guts to do something about it. It probably would have saved us some time.”

“Nah, who knows if everything would have worked out like it did now. Sure, maybe you could have saved some time and pain but I’m just glad you found your way now.”

“Thank-” Kasey started but got interrupted by the driver, “We are here, sir.”

Finn reached for his wallet but Kasey was faster, “Take it as some kind of thank you.”

Finn smiled at him. “Will we do it as planned?”

"Yep, we will wait around the corner, you go in."

Natalie and Kasey walked as quietly as possible but the loud noise of the three other suitcases was enough to drown out the rest anyway. The moment Finn knocked on the door, it flew open, as if the older O'Hara had been behind it for some time.

"Bubbles!"

"Alex!", Finn screamed with equal enthusiasm, laughing at the silly nickname. He threw his arms around his older brother and just held him tight. Finn missed him too, it's not easy if you grow up in a close relationship with your brother and suddenly you are miles and miles away.

Finn didn't want to let him go just yet and decided to continue their hug. It had been too long, really.

Alex just laughed and squeezed him tightly. "Come in, Mum and Dad already made tea and coffee and they bought your favourite- Leo? Logan? What are you doing here?"

At that Finn stepped back, looking at his brother sheepishly, but determined.

Alex's confused face made Logan chuckle, "Hello to you too, Red. How are you doing? I'm good, thank you. I missed you too." Alex rolled his eyes but gave them both a welcoming smile. "Finn can't go a day without us, so he asked us to come with us."

"I did not say that!"

"Mhh, whatever makes you sleep at night, sweetheart," Leo leaned down to kiss their pouting lover. Finn rolled his eyes at him.

Alex still seemed to be trying to piece everything together, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Guess I just forgot," Finn shrugged and moved past his brother to greet his parents, pulling Leo with him. The taller boy had of course met the O'Hara's but he was still nervous. They had barely made it into the room before both got tackled by hugs.

"It's great to see you Haley," Leo said when he let go and received a loving pat on the cheek as a thank you. They switched places and her arms were replaced by a firm grip around Leo's shoulders.

"Where is my other boy?" Finn's mother asked, going up to her toes and looking around the room.

"Here," Logan said, who came into the living room right that instant, Alex close behind him. "There you are! Oh, come here I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Why do you get so excited to see Logan? You weren't that excited with me. Betrayed by my own mother, I can't believe it!" Alex complained, holding his hand over his heart.

His mother snorted at Alex's dramatic reaction. "Stop whining and make yourself useful, get some tea for Leo. You still prefer tea, right?"

"Yeah I do, thank you," Leo said with a smile and then blew Alex a kiss, who just subtly flipped him off in return.

The six settled down shortly after and Leo sent out a quick text to Kasey; not a minute later the doorbell rang again.

"Alex, would you be so kind?"

Alex gave his mother a quick nod, before making his way over to the door. He was expecting the mailman but the people in front of him were most definitely not a package. Alex just froze in place and he was pretty sure his mouth fell open too.

"Hi, baby," said Kasey with a soft exhale, his smile as bright as ever.

"Wha- I- What?" Alex still hadn't moved.

"Surprise!" said Natalie who threw herself at Alex, jumping up to wrap her legs around the boy's hips. He caught her easily and after another minute of shock, tears formed in his eyes and he pulled the blonde impossibly closer to his body. Alex put a hand on her cheek, kissing her softly. He blinked rapidly and looked up when they parted and Natalie jumped down to the ground again.

"That bad to see us, eh?", said Kasey softly, who still stood in the doorway and watched the whole interaction with a warm, fuzzy feeling around his heart.

"God, just- come here."

Alex didn't care about anything at all when he finally locked his lips with Kasey. His hands immediately went into the soft long hair of his boyfriend, craving as much closeness as possible. After another moment, Alex pressed their foreheads together, catching his breath.

The rustling behind them, broke through their shared breaths, "We'll give you a moment to catch up," Haley told them, a knowing smile on her lips as she ushered the other men into another room.

Somehow his mother always knew what was going on. He turned back to his partners, still unable to grasp that they were actually here, in New York City, with him.

"Missed us?" Nat asked as she stepped up close to Alex again, slotting herself underneath the already held out arm of her oldest boyfriend.

Resting his head on hers, he gestured for Kasey to join their group hug. "More than I could ever put into words."

"Love you, Alex." Kasey breathed out as he felt his boyfriend's arm wrap around his waist, snuggling his face into Alex's neck and placing a few soft kisses there.

Another arm was placed around Kasey's waist as Natalie gathered her boyfriends closer to her, breathing in the familiar smell of Mango Shampoo and of the sanitizer Kasey always uses after flights. It mixed with Alex's aftershave, that she still couldn't assign anything else than home, love and safety. It was Alex.

"Love you." she murmured, not willing to move her head further away that was necessary to get the words out.

Alex smiled at them. Oh, how he had missed this. How he had missed them.

"Love you both."

#lumosinlove #sweater weather lumosinlove #o'knutzy #o'darwin #joined fic #server anniversary #fluff #cw: food and beverages #rating: g

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snowpiercer-recaps · 2 years

Text

Season 2, episode 4: The Mangolingus Episode

Spoiler alert!!! This is a rewatch recap of Snowpiercer s2e4: A Single Trade. Naturally, it is full of spoilers for that episode. However, it also contains spoilers for some other episodes of season 1 and season 2. You have been warned!

The communiqué makes it back to Big Alice this episode. While scenes of Audrey rehearsing a dance in the Nightcar and a trade of food for parts at the border play, Audrey talks about trading. She says that trades don’t always go the way you plan - you give more than you get, terms change and you end up trading with yourself. Miss Audrey staked her future on a single trade: a life with Wilford for a place on the train. That explains why she’s been so worried the last three episodes! She concludes, “I should have known Wilford would find me,” finishes her dance, and then the camera focuses on a long scar on her right forearm. This is going to be a horrible episode.

After the opening credits - no, wait! The opening music sounds different! What’s going on there? Interesting!

Anyway, we open on Zarah and Layton eating First Class breakfast. Zarah has spoken to Audrey for Layton, and warns him to go easy - Wilford opens a lot of old wounds for Audrey. He nods agreement that he will. Ruth interrupts them to congratulate Layton on the successful trade, and to give him a communiqué. Ruth is wearing a skirt today - like Melanie used to, when Melanie was Head of Hospitality, back when she was still on the train… Is Ruth pining already? Am I reading too much into her outfit choice?

The communiqué contains an offer to treat Snowpiercer’s frostbite patients. Ruth thinks it’s generous, but Layton doesn’t agree - apparently, most of Snowpiercer’s frostbite patients were caused by Icy Bob. After Ruth leaves, Zarah asks whether Layton thinks it could help Josie. I genuinely can’t tell whether she’s trying to be nice or start another argument, and it doesn’t look like Layton’s sure, either. He diplomatically replies that it could help all 14 patients, kisses Zarah on the side of the head, and leaves.

Next there’s a quick scene showing Ruth reading Layton’s reply to the communiqué! Did Ruth just break a Hospitality rule!? Wild! She sighs as she reads it, then returns it to its pouch.

The communiqué makes it back to Big Alice, where Alex playfully swings it in front of Wilford’s face.

He says he’s not asleep, and my Grandad used to tell exactly the same lie! Alex and Wilford sit, mirroring each other, with their legs up at the helm. Alex shows Wilford Layton’s reply to the communiqué. It simply says, “What do you want?” That’s why Ruth was so unimpressed.

Alex knows what Wilford wants: his paramour, Miss Audrey. He doesn’t deny it, and Alex asks why he hasn’t invited Audrey over already. It’s because Wilford wants a night out - they’re going to visit the Nightcar this episode!

On Snowpiercer, Till and her detective coat are following Boki around. He goes into the tea room, so she follows him inside. To look less suspicious, she pretends to be looking at something in the room, and lands on a memorial to the people lost in the revolution. She’s crying within seconds. Pastor Logan notices, and comes out of his Pastor Office to offer Till a cup of tea.

Up in the engine, Bennett and Javi are chuffed with their new bogie motors! Javi is on the floor, playing with his new Christmas present. Bennett sits down next to Javi for a cute little engine bros moment, undoubtedly sparking more fanfiction. We learn that it’s been three days since the last episode, which probably puts us at about 7-8 weeks since s1e1? Javi comforts Ben, and it’s sweet.

In Layton’s living room/office, Audrey is hungover and scared by the news that Mr. Wilford wants to visit the Nightcar. She just lost her only two named employees! But that’s not the only reason she’s scared. She’s spent years washing her hands clean of him. Layton asks for more information, and Audrey gives us some backstory: by the age of 18, she was working as a high-end escort at days-long parties for “the most powerful men and women in Chicago”, on Wilford’s trains. Audrey was Wilford’s, exclusively, for years. She lost everything, and now Layton wants her to open Pandora’s Box?

Layton gently explains that it would be very useful for them to have Audrey in Wilford’s ear, steering him. He promises that they’ll all help her, and then concludes, “This is the cause, now, Audrey.” She responds that she’ll do it - but not for Layton or Melanie’s mission. This one’s for her.

On Big Alice, Sykes has delivered an invitation for Wilford and some of his crew to attend the balloon launch party in the Nightcar. Alex jokes to Sykes that ‘Dubs’ has been dragging Big Alice around the world in desperate search of his paramour, not his train. Wilford snaps at Alex, “Don’t say that word!” Audrey is a poem, a witchy bird of grace that holds the soul of the train, a key. Yep.

Sykes and Alex stand at nervous attention as Wilford rants, and sneak glances at each other when he’s not looking. It’s nice to see them bonding over their mutual dislike of Wilford! Alex and Sykes unconvincingly agree that they want to seize Snowpiercer with Wilford, and it puts him in a better mood! He starts planning his outfit - his silk brocade suit and ruffle shirt. Because, of course he has those!

Next, Alex joins Emilia in the canteen. Lunch is mush and a couple of slices of apple, but Emilia is on the verge of tears as she sniffs it.

I wonder whether the mush is better or worse than bug bars?

Wilford addresses the population from the balcony, and announces that he’s finally going to fulfil his pledge that the crew can go to Snowpiercer! Well. Some of them. For a couple of hours. Sykes follows up, saying that all of the crew’s names are in a hat, and three names will be selected for a night out on! It’s obviously rigged, which Alex even confirms to Emilia as the selection begins. Wilford reads out three names: Oiler Bob, Damien with the Nice Jib, and, finally, Emilia. She overcompensates far too hard, and Alex affectionately rolls her eyes. Alex does have friends, after all!

On Snowpiercer, Audrey, Layton, Roche, Ben and Ruth are having a meeting in the Nightcar. They don’t recognise any of the names on the guestlist, so Roche will check with the notary to see what he can find out about them, and whether any of them might turn to Snowpiercer’s side. Bennett reminds the group that the evening is actually all about the balloons, and Ruth agrees that it’s about the hope that the balloon brings. Roche makes a good point: what happens if Wilford is in the middle of Snowpiercer and Melanie doesn’t make contact? They don’t bother planning for that outcome; they’re taking a leap of faith!

The other reason for the party tonight is to make friends with Wilford’s crew, thereby making it harder for Wilford to demonise Snowpiercer’s people. Audrey points out that Wilford will be doing exactly the same, trying to turn everyone in the room to his side. Then, this interaction happens:

I’d watch the hell out of that fight! Unfortunately, Audrey quickly clarifies that she means anyone who knew Wilford before - anyone who he hired personally. Ruth is still insulted, until Roche, Bennett and Audrey admit that they all fall into that category, too.

In Pastor Logan’s Office for Converting Depressed Lesbians, Logan, Till and her detective coat are having some tea. Yeah, I don’t like this storyline either. Till has survivor’s guilt. Logan calls her Bess (which feels extra wrong coming from his mouth!), then asks her what she still stands for. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know where she belongs, either. And she has no one. IS THIS WHY SHE KEEPS HUGGING HERSELF? What about her rebel friends that she told Jinju about in their breakup?

Till starts to cry. Logan tries to hold her hands, but she retracts them. He starts to say that there are 3000 people left, but she corrects him: it’s 2746. The scene ends with him telling her that she’s not alone, and her face crumples again. PLEASE CAN SOMEONE (not Logan) GIVE TILL A HUG!

Downtrain, the Headwoods and their Goop are visiting the frostbite patients, accompanied by Ruth and Layton. Dr. Pelton asks for details about how it works, and Mr. Dr. Headwood begins to answer before his wife silently reminds him that they’re not allowed to say. Layton tells them that there’s one more patient, in the second class clinic. Ruth discreetly tells Layton that she knows who the patient is, and insists that she needs to escort the doctors. I have no idea how Ruth knows about Josie? Is there a deleted scene somewhere? Anyway, Layton - who in his last scene told Ruth that they need to trust each other - just scoffs at her and leaves.

Layton gently holds Josie while the Headwoods examine her back. The doctors say that Josie’s injuries require custom grafting in sterile recovery, with absolutely no visitors. Josie and Layton smell an opportunity.

Up in the non-torturey Hospitality room, Zarah is just hanging out there for no discernable reason while Ruth is ranting and making herself a martini, because she’s Ruth. Zarah asks the question that’s often on my mind whenever Ruth starts Ruthing: What is she talking about? Ruth explains that Layton doesn’t trust her, or respect her work, and insists that her admiration of Mr. Wilford doesn’t mean she’s disloyal to the train. Zarah flatters Ruth a bit, then proposes that they could help each other. She asks to join Hospitality.

Back in the clinic, Josie and Layton discuss the offer of frostbite treatment on Big Alice. Does Mr. Wilford know who Josie is? The offer seems like a big coincidence, but Josie and Layton weren’t ticketed and who would have told Wilford about them? Next, Josie asks whether the therapy works. It does but... they also used it to create Icy Bob.

Layton thinks Josie would be too isolated over there, which pretty much seals the deal: Josie hates agreeing with Layton almost as much as Zarah does! She tells him that she’s not going to recover on Snowpiercer, then adds that she can use the opportunity to spy. She knows Pike is doing something at the border, so maybe she can get messages out that way? Layton’s in. SHE’S SO BADASS!

Downtrain, Pike and Terrence-Never-Terry are having another meeting. Pike is still stroppy about the time that Terrence-Never-Terry kicked him out, so he’s only going to bring him half the weed he imports from now on. To make amends, Terrence-Never-Terry offers Pike three encyclopedias. (Sidenote: we know there’s a library! Why are these so valuable?) As Pike leaves, we see that LJ was spying on the whole conversation.

Next, we catch Boki at the bar. He’s standing next to a drinks menu, and I couldn't get a good screenshot of it, but here are the drinks (I think?)

6 DIRTY PINNER

TURNTABLE

DERAILER

RAILMAN’S ALE

SEX ON THE TRAIN

SIDETRACK GIN

ELECTRIC DRAG

DOUBLY CABOOSE

RUSTY TRACKS

JERKWATER MULE

YARD GOAT

ROADMASTER

HIGHBALL WILLY

RUN 8 LOWBALL

I would love to see someone confidently order a Highball Willy, please!

Strong Boy, Murray and ZWreck then kidnap Boki and take him to Lights. She shows him her hand and tells him to make his people stop. He insists that he didn’t do it, and after a bit more conversation Boki promises that it’s more than just Breachmen on Wilford’s side. So, Lights punches him in the face! Boki falls to the floor, Strong Boy starts hitting him, and it quickly escalates to a tailie vs Breachmen fight.

(Sidenote: Till was literally just saying how she doesn’t have any friends, and I really think she should hang out with Lights! They both love righteously fighting guys twice their size! Josie or Layton should set them up!)

On Big Alice, the “randomly selected” guests and Alex are excited for the party! As is the Snowpiercer custom, they’re all wearing their queerest outfits for the event.

My thanks to the costume department, once again!

While Emilia sorts out Alex’s collars, the four of them excitedly discuss the Nightcar. Bob has heard it’s a brothel. Alex thinks it’s more like a cabaret. Emilia thinks they’ll have everything, and Damien wonders whether that means mangoes? WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THESE PEOPLE AND MANGOES!? Then, Wilford comes to ruin the mood. This is his night, for him to meet his old acquaintances, and to hopefully see Melanie’s balloon pop in their faces. What a dick!

In the market, Layton, Till and her detective coat are wandering around the aftermath of the fight. Boki is claiming that the tailies tried to kill him, because there aren’t already enough overdramatic characters on this train! Layton and Till tell the tailies off, then Layton gets some Boki backstory: he first met Wilford aged fourteen, while building bridges for him in Serbia. Boki is proud to say it makes him a lifer, and Till comes in to give him a good kicking.

Layton and Roche immediately drag her away and have a go at her because, yeah, what the fuck? Till explains that she has a Wilford problem: there are a lot of Wilford supporters around, and Wilford is visiting the Nightcar tonight. That’s true, but it doesn’t explain why she just kicked an injured assault victim? What the fuck?

Because they’re still under martial law, Layton and Roche decide that the breachmen won’t be allowed to go to the party tonight. I guess martial law is how Till gets away with kicking Boki, too? Yikes!

In the clinic, the tailies have a very sweet surprise for Josie. It’s Miles! She cries. He calls her his hero. Miles is engineering life systems, and he wants to be one of the first colonists back outside. Now Josie really has to support Melanie’s mission! Josie tells Miles to hold on to that hope, and then the tailies help Josie to leave for Big Alice. Miles and Winnie wheel her through the tail to a standing ovation, and this episode is too damn emotional!

Up in First, Layton can’t remember how to tie a tie. He says he’s worried about Audrey, and Zarah says she’s got Audrey’s back. MHM. Then she descends the stairs in her new Hospitality uniform, and is fucking delighted with how much Layton hates it.

I love a petty queer!

Layton claims Ruth is using Zarah to influence him, but Zarah fires back that it was actually her idea to join Hospitality: she’s going to keep an eye on Ruth for Layton. He thinks she should stay out of it and tells her that teal isn’t her colour, and she says he can’t say that since they’re not together any more. You tell him, Zarah! She sorts out his outfit, and they leave arm-in-arm.

In the Nightcar, the evening is finally kicking off! Ruth has her hair down, and introduces Mr. Wilford and his crew. Again, he loves the attention as he makes his way to “his area”. The Big Alice crew look around nervously while Layton and Wilford shake hands, and the engineers make an announcement. The engine bros explain what’s going on with the balloon, and Alex listens intently. In approximately 75mins, she’ll find out whether her mother is safe. Wilford wants to place a bet that Melanie is already dead.

Backstage, Zarah goes to check on Audrey. She reminds her that there’s still time to back out, but Audrey insists that she’s sure she wants to do it. Before Zarah leaves, Audrey asks her to get her if she’s not out within 30 minutes. It sounds like a decent enough plan, but this is a rewatch so it just hurts.

Next, it’s back to the Nightcar floor. Miss Gillies is engaging in some very gay dancing, and I love that for her! Mr. Wilford is talking about his wine cellar or something, but it’s not as interesting as the dancing in the background. Layton leads a toast to Mr. Wilford. Till is definitely gonna kick her big brother later. Layton and Wilford have a chat for a bit, and then Miss Audrey takes the stage. She’s perfect, she’s beautiful, she looks like Linda Evangelista, she’s a model. Did she stone those tights???

Yet again, Audrey’s song choice is painfully on-the-nose, including lines such as

I’m so tired

Gonna give my heart away

This is the beginning of forever and ever

It’s all I wanna be

Sigh.

Layton hugs Zarah from behind with his hand on her belly for one of the ‘give me a reason to love you’ lines, and I think it’s the furthest my eyes have rolled in this series so far. We also get an opportunity to take in the bondage gear, animal masks and drawn-on curly moustaches that the guests are wearing. Fun!

Then, Audrey and Wilford come face-to-face and I HATE IT. They do some suggestive flirting and I HATE IT. Then, she leads him away to show him what she’s done to the Nightcar AND I HATE IT!

The next scene is of Audrey and Wilford in the experience room. Wilford repeats his gross “let me see what the years have done to you” line, and Audrey sits next to him. He takes her hand, and he tells her she’s different. She explains that the freeze changed everyone, and the Nightcar, too. He begins to run his hand inside her sleeve, along the scar we saw before the opening credits, and she quickly gets up and moves away. Then, Audrey explains the new Nightcar to Wilford, and starts doing her Nightcar thing.

Outside, Ruth is speculating about what Wilford and Audrey are up to, but Layton doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t know how right he is. The balloon thing will happen in forty minutes, and Wilford can do what he likes until then. Ruth just needs to make sure that Wilford’s guests are happy. Talking of which, Murray offers Emilia more wine. They both realise that they aren’t the last Australian!

It’s not enough to make this episode not-sad, but it’s very sweet all the same.

Alex notices LJ and begins to follow the train’s resident dick chopper upstairs. Remember when Ruth promised Melanie she’d look out for Alex? Shouldn’t she be stopping this? Anyway, Alex passes by Till on the way, so we catch up with her, too. Till isn’t wearing her detective coat! She does a bit of depressed-flirting with one of the bartenders, and then the scene cuts back to LJ and Alex. They could both do with some friends their own age, and get off to a great start - LJ calls Alex a dork, and Alex calls LJ a bitch.

Alex and LJ are hanging out in the observatory. They can see the aurora borealis! But LJ is much more interested in showing Alex the encyclopedias she stole from her new boss. She also stole a joint. Auntie Ruth! Where are you? This 15/17 year old shouldn’t be reading encyclopedias!

Bitch and Dork then ditch the party. Where is Ruth??? She should definitely not be allowing Alex to sneak off with a recently convicted violent criminal!

Next, we catch up with Till again. Somehow, her line worked! She’s making out with the hot bartender on a sofa! We also catch up with Sykes, who is making the most of the snacks, and Emilia, who is still chatting with Murray. She’s not supposed to give him too many details about Big Alice, and he suggests they can keep in touch via his lucky goggles. This being Snowpiercer, I had assumed his goggles were just an eccentric fashion statement the whole time! I am intrigued to know what they do!

In his Nightcar experience, Wilford is taken back to… the Nightcar. Of course he is! He’s dancing with Audrey, before the freeze. Then, the experience changes. He’s in the murder bath. Audrey joins him. He hands her the razor. In the experience, she shakes her head. In real life, she desperately says “no”, then heartbreakingly tells him that he made her cut her own wrists. And he replies, “But I saved you.” They stare at each other for a while, and then he tells her “I want it, Audrey.” She desperately says no again, and he begs on his knees.

After a little of his begging, her expression changes - she no longer looks scared. She places a foot on his chest, and pushes him down further. He’s still begging, and she reaches for a plate of fruit. And we all know what happens next!

Yeahhhhhh I’m not recapping that part.

Ruth gives the five minute warning to Layton, who relays it to Zarah. So, that must mean that Miss Audrey has been in the room with Wilford for at least thirty five minutes. That’s longer than Zarah promised! Zarah knocks on the door, calls out the five minute warning, then walks in to find Wilford in Audrey’s lap, being hand-fed fruit. Audrey and Zarah make eye contact, and Zarah just leaves. She said she’d get Audrey! Not just say hi and leave! NOOOOO!

In the observatory, LJ and Alex are getting high and talking about their parents. Alex admits that she didn’t know that she was going to care about Melanie as much as she does. Then, they look out at the balloon together. Alex says that they’re probably at the altitude for the uplink so she should probably go, and it’s just too dorky for LJ to handle! LJ suggests that they shouldn’t be friends. Alex agrees - they’ll be total enemies. That is not a clever thing to say to LJ Dick-Chopper Folger!

Back in the Nightcar, it’s almost time for the weather balloon to connect. Ruth and Layton try to help Alex feel better. They aren’t awful with kids, but they’re not great, either. Wilford enters, holding one of the light-up helium balloons that have decorated the Nightcar. I hope he accidentally lets go of it and it flies away and it makes him cry.

The engine bros greet the crowd and explain that the balloon is almost ready for Melanie to connect. Layton takes Zarah’s hand, and she take’s Ruth’s. Mr. Wilford pops his party balloon in the tense silence, causing everyone to jump. Then, he remembers he’s trying to make friends, so he apologises to the crowd. It’s nice to know he’s capable of it!

The signal takes a few seconds longer than expected, and it’s very tense! Everyone except Wilford watches on anxiously. Then, there’s a huge collective (except Wilford) relief when the balloon connects and makes its little ping sound.

After that, we catch up with various characters in the aftermath of the party. Audrey is dancing and contemplating her scar, as she was in the opening scene. Alex is looking at the research station on the map in her bunk, and the engine bros are having a beer together. Layton interrupts Audrey’s rehearsal to ask what happened between her and Wilford, and whether he should be worried. Audrey, still dancing, replies, “trust me - he’s exactly where we want him.” But it’s intercut with short flashbacks of the bath, the fruit scene, and the old Nightcar. AUDREY! NOOOO!

In the final scene, Wilford (wearing another dressing gown) wanders through the Big Alice lab and peers into the sterile recovery room. By the time Josie looks at the door, he’s gone. If only he could do more of that, and go away forever!

#snowpiercer 2.04 #snowpiercer s2e4 #incorrect snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer recap #snowpiercer #snowpiercer rewatch #snowpiercer season 2

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noctualilith · 3 years

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Our Past Got Us Here

We all love the Harvard FinnLo pining, but after the amazing and painful art Haz posted today we needed an extra dose of fluff to balance the feels. Co-written with the amazing and eloquent @ais-for-alex , the characters and universe by queen of the hazelhoots @lumosinlove

The box with the ominous title Harvard in blood red sharpie should have been heavier for all the memories it carried, Logan thought as he hefted it on his desk in his new room. He was all moved in with Finn and Leo, unpacked and fitting seamlessly in their space just as he did in their lives… but for this one last box.

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he reminded himself that whatever he unearthed was firmly in the past now, and his present was so much lighter and happier than anything he would find in there.

He heard Finn and Leo moving around in the apartment and he knew they were there for him if he needed them. He knew Finn saw the box and suspected what was inside, if the way he was lurking close to his door was any indication. He also knew that this was his task first and foremost - to unpack the past and claim it fully as his own, with all the good and the bad it brought. This was where he met Finn. This was where he fell for Finn. This was where he carried the burning flame of all he felt for him, held it close and hid it away from everyone including himself, until it burned him from the inside. He could still feel the hot rush of shame and hurt he was so well used to pushing back under and avoiding at all costs.

Opening the box would mean coming face to face with it for the first time after years, no more deflecting.

He was ready. He was home, their home, the three of them together and he was ready.

He pulled the lid off the box and was met with Finn’s warm gaze staring at him from a treasured photograph lying on top, the two of them only a few weeks after Logan got to Harvard, throwing him back into a memory that cut with precision right into those places that hurt the most. Years ago, he had packed that box in a state of numb resignation, putting away his heart piece by piece, alone in his room back at Harvard because Finn had left him for a dream and it hurt too much to see the reminders all around him. He had been crying too hard by the time he placed that last photo in the box, Finn’s smiling face blurred by the tears and hidden away when he closed the box and tucked it away. Now the feeling roared to life in his chest, loud and hungry for a resolution.

He wasn’t ready.

He must have made a noise, or maybe Finn had a sixth sense for when Logan needed him because the next thing he knew were his arms wrapping him in a hug, the safest place on Earth as far as Logan was concerned.

“Lo, baby, we’re okay.” Finn murmured into his hair as Logan hid his face in his neck, breathing him in. They were okay, they were great, but there were still some things unsaid between them, an unspoken agreement to leave that box unopened for another day.

Well, it was open now and waiting for them on the desk innocently.

Logan took a breath and lifted his head, searching for a kiss and the reassurance that came with it. He wasn’t alone, with Finn thousands of miles away, both of them silent and hurting. He was here, with his boys, allowed to touch whenever he wanted. They were good at reminding him of that, too. He needed that reminder now.

“Tell me.” He knew Finn would understand what he was asking for. Logan wasn’t good at talking, but Finn could read him like an open book after all those years. Logan only realized how much after he stopped pushing him away and allowed himself to love and be loved exactly how he’d yearned for.

“We’re okay. I love you. I’m never leaving you. Leo is never leaving us. You moved in with us and everything is finally as it should be, because being away from you feels like I’m missing a part of myself and fuck, I’m done with that. Do you know how important you’re to me? I’ll spend the rest of our lives telling you, Lo.” Finn was cradling his face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his lips after every declaration.

Logan’s hands were grasping at the fabric of Finn’s hoodie - Leo’s hoodie, actually - and that brought an unbidden smile to his face, helping the words hit home. Finn, in Leo’s hoodie, in his room. He didn’t have to do this alone, do anything alone, ever again.

“I know, mon amour. It’s just-- we haven’t really talked about-- I know I wasn’t in a hurry to unpack all that and you probably weren’t either but I want to, now. I think I need to.” He gestured to the innocent-looking box, watching Finn step closer to it and look inside, emotions playing across his face. He knew what it represented, of course he did. He probably had one just like that at some point, or maybe his was still unpacked too.

Finn reached into the box and picked up the photo from the top, the same one that Logan could barely look at just moments ago. He held it out to Logan with a wistful smile. “Let’s unpack this one together, what do you say?”

“Yeah, I’d really like to do that.” Logan’s voice was shaky, but he was determined. They’d probably end up crying, he could already feel the hot press of tears behind his eyes just thinking about all the memories that they were going to bring to light, but he wanted them all. He wanted to touch them, to put them up on his walls and see them every day without hurting for their past selves. A story of how they got to here and now, of how they lost each other and then found each other again. How they found their missing piece and built a home together.

He took the photo from Finn, their fingers brushing and unfailingly sending sparks across Logan’s skin. It’s been like that since he could remember, Finn’s touch like a brand, whether accidental and forcedly platonic for the longest time, or purposeful now but no less exciting with the promise of forever. It made him feel brave, so he cast around for the tape and tore a piece to stick it to the back of the photo. First one for the wall. First memory to unpack.

“You remember this one?” he asked Finn while he picked a place for it, pressing it to the wall and making sure it held. “I loved you already, when we took this photo. I was trying to convince myself that I couldn’t, but I did.” He heard Finn behind him suck in a breath, but he stayed quiet, letting him speak. Logan turned a bit, just enough to reach his hand back, wordlessly asking for the next photo, sticking it to the wall without looking at it first.

It was a photo of the two of them at a party. At the party.

“Lo--” Finn started behind him, already gearing up to tell him they could do this another day, Logan could hear it in his voice. It’s happened often enough. Logan was sick of it, of swallowing the pain and the tears and hiding in the safe topics of their everyday life, like what to get for dinner and who should drive.

“I’m sorry.” He interrupted Finn, softly but with determination, still looking at the photo. He felt Finn pressing himself along his back, one arm coming up to drape over his shoulder, his hand pressing over his heart. There was another photo of them, just like this, a favourite of Logan’s and currently in Finn’s room, another piece of his heart captured forever. He leaned back into the embrace, drawing strength from the unwavering support. Now, then, always, Finn was by his side no matter how often Logan pushed him away. He was done pushing him away.

“I shouldn’t have done that, at the party. It was a shitty thing to do. I’m sorry. You deserved so much better.” Logan felt the first tear roll down his face, felt Finn’s breath stutter in his chest.

“I’m sorry too. You weren’t the only one not talking about it, you know? It’s on me, too. And we’re better now, aren’t we?”

Logan nodded wordlessly, breathing through the swell of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him when he thought about that night. A miracle turned into a secret and sitting heavy and unaddressed instead of being treasured as it should have been.

Finn spoke for the both of them, needing to acknowledge in words what happened. “That was our first kiss, Lo. I still remember it, like it happened just yesterday. I loved you already, when we took this photo. I couldn’t believe what happened after. I’m glad it did.”

Logan turned to him at that, surprised. “You’re glad? I blamed it on being drunk and then never talked about it. It might as well not have happened at all! Our first kiss was a lie and I can never change it. How--” Finn pressed a kiss to his lips and stayed there, interrupting his rant and waiting for him to kiss back before pulling away again, keeping their foreheads together.

“I’m glad because we’re here now. We’re talking about it now. It was real to me, Lo. I was afraid then, too. I’m not anymore, you’re not anymore. We found each other. We found Leo. That’s what matters.” Finn’s eyes were swimming in tears but he was smiling, and Logan couldn’t help but kiss that smile right off his lips. “You’re right. That’s what matters. Gimme the next one. Let’s talk about all of them.”

The wall was slowly filled with memories and their weight was lifted from their unspoken past word for word as they remembered each moment for the good and the bad. So often Logan had felt close to crumbling under the guilt, but Finn was right there holding him close and offering him absolution with each new piece out of the box, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Beside photos, there were other things too. Movie tickets, four of them from the same movie they kept going back for. A receipt from a dinner at a roadie, just the two of them, where Finn doodled stick figures playing hockey while they waited for dessert. Crumpled notes that Finn would sometimes leave stuck to Logan’s door, sometimes a shopping list, sometimes an inside joke. Logan kept them all.

FInally, the box was empty and the wall was full. Logan felt exhausted but his heart was lighter than it had been in years, brimming with love for his boys and gratitude for the road that brought him here. He and Finn stood shoulder to shoulder in the middle of the room, looking at the wall, tears drying on both their faces.

“I want Leo” Logan spoke into the comfortable silence, pulling on Finn’s arm, suddenly eager to have them both close, to bask in the reality of having them, of being loved by them. “Come on Harz, let’s find him.”

Finn reeled him back in for one more kiss. “Love you, Lo.”

“Love you, too. Love Leo. Want Leo now.”

“Yeah, me too. Come on, he’s in the kitchen.” Logan was already squirming away and Finn let him pull them from the room and towards the kitchen where they could hear the clatter of utensils. He did the hard work and now he wanted his rewards. He wanted his boys close.

Hand in hand, they padded down the hall towards the kitchen, towards their missing piece, towards their future, leaving all the guilt and the hurt finally where it belonged; in their past.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Leo brushed a bit of flour from his hands. He suppressed the urge to wander into Logan’s room where he knew his partners were unpacking more than just the old boxes beaten by years of hiding in the closet. Those old boxes that carried memories of Finn and Logan’s days spent so close to each other but separated by an ocean of feelings that fit between their dorm beds.

No, Leo had to let them unpack together. Finn and Logan needed to be the ones to pull each memory from the moth eaten cardboard. They needed to be the ones to hold them close to their hearts and feel, and once the hurt of all those years past had been aired away they could finally hang those memories on the walls to look at without that bitter hurt anymore.

Leo would wait though, he would wait for them to emerge from the solemn confessional of Logan’s room, he would wait for them to be ready, he would wait until they wanted him there to pull them back together. He would wait for them forever. Luckily though he didn’t have to wait forever. Leo turned as he heard their footsteps padding closer to the kitchen.

“Hello, my loves,” he said as Finn and Logan peeked their heads in to see what he was doing.

“Mmm,” Finn hummed in greeting and came up to press a soft sweet kiss to Leo’s lips. Out of the corner of his eye Leo saw Logan hop up to sit on the counter. When Finn finally pulled away his lips were pulled into a gentle smile and his eyes as warm and sweet as melted chocolate. Leo sighed at the sight, but turned to Logan who was softly kicking the cabinet doors where his feet dangled from the counter.

“Hi baby,” he whispered, slotting himself between Logan’s knees and running his hands soft against his thighs. Logan sighed and wrapped his legs around Leo’s waist pulling him in closer.

“You all unpacked?” Leo asked so softly for a moment he wasn’t sure Logan had actually heard him. But he saw that look in Logan’s bright green eyes that meant he was thinking, choosing his words carefully before he tried to speak. So Leo waited, he reached up to lightly trace his fingers against the scratchy stubble on Logan’s jaw as his partner gathered his thoughts. Leo felt Finn settle in behind him, pressing his chest flush to his back and rest his chin on his shoulder. He turned his face inwards pressing closer just to place a kiss to the soft skin on Leo’s neck.

“Yeah,” Logan finally answered with a sigh, he turned his face to nuzzle into Leo’s palm. “It was- it was hard,” he whispered, then looked over at Finn still resting his head on Leo’s shoulder and smiled softly. “But as hard as it was to live through, and remember, I don’t think I would change even a minute of it.”

Leo gave him a bit of a puzzled look at that, why on earth wouldn’t he change it if he could? Why would he be willing to live through that pain? Logan chuckled lightly at his confusion and leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the corner of Leo’s mouth.

“Mon amour, I would live every minute of it again and not change a thing, because mine and Finn's past is what led us to you. And you know what? Thinking of it like that, it doesn’t hurt at all.”

Leo couldn’t help the sheen of tears that glazed his eyes, or the sniffles as he reached forward to pull Logan fully into his arms, holding him tight like he couldn’t bear to leave even an inch of space between them.

“We love you so much Nutty,” Finn whispered, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck, “you make it easier. God, you make everything better.”

“Guys,” Leo sighed at the feel of them pressed so close against him, “this wasn't supposed to be about me.”

Logan reached out to cup his face, his eyes bright and sure as they gazed into Leo’s own, “sweetheart, it’s about us, all three of us, together. Our past, and yours, they were stepping stone to get to this exact moment.”

“Leo,” Finn said softly, he pulled away slightly and turned Leo to look at him so his back was now pressed against Logan's chest where he was still sitting on the counter. Logan twined his arms around Leo’s torso as Finn tilted his chin just so until he couldn't look anywhere but those chocolate eyes. “It’s time we all moved on from the past, ok? Instead, lets focus on building a future, one for all of us, that we’ll get to spend the rest of our lives cultivating.”

Leo swallowed hard, Finn's words seemed to crawl into his heart mending cracks and fissures he hadn’t realized were there. His words put to rest that horrible feeling that crept into Leo’s mind in the dead of night, in those moments he was all alone with no one to soothe away the fear, that he was the odd man out. That one day Finn and Logan would realize that they didn't need him, because they already had a foundation to build on.

“I love you guys so fucking much,” he breathed, and felt Logans arms tighten around him. Finn smiled and leaned in, pressing closer gently until they were so close they were breathing the same air.

“D’accord, d’accord,” Logan mumbled into his shoulder, he breathed in deeply then continued, “no more sad for tonight.”

“I think I can get on board with that,” Leo said with a chuckle.

“Same,” Finn agreed before finally pulling away.

Leo grinned and padded back to the other side of the kitchen where he had left ingredients for dinner strewn across the counter, “Well, do you guys want to help me make dinner then?”

“Le, my precious Peanut Butter, I need you to understand this;” Finn said seriously, “just because we have grown emotionally does not mean our skills in the kitchen have improved in the slightest.”

“Well yeah, and they never will if you don’t let me teach you,” Leo teased, snagging a dish towel and snapping Finn in the thigh.

Logan laughed at Finn's pout as he rubbed the welt now forming and jumped down from the counter, “Alright Nutty, teach us your ways, impart your vast cooking wisdom upon us.”

Leo rolled his eyes at their dramatics but set them to work nonetheless. Finn was tasked with peeling potatoes, with a stern warning from Leo about slicing off his finger. As he was prepping the meat, Leo glanced over at Logan who seemed to be having far too much fun smashing the crackers to make a breading. He couldn't help but grin as he felt warm affection rush through his veins, like he had injected pure love directly into his bloodstream. Leo couldn't wait to feel this for the rest of his life, to build and grow with them, and love them for as long as humanly possible.

It wasn't long before their kitchen was filled with laughter, and banter, and music played over the bluetooth speakers. The three of them worked in tandem, until the delicious aroma of home cooked food was wafting through their apartment. And so what if Finns mashed potatoes were a bit soupy, and what if the veggies Logan chopped were a bit uneven, it was something that they created together, Leo wanted to savor every bite.

#lumosinlove #coast to coast #sweater weather #inspired by coast to coast #inspired by sweater weather #coast to coast fic #sweater weather fic #O'Knutzy #Finn O'Hara #Logan Tremblay #Leo Knut #FinnLo #Harvard pining but with comfort #domestic fluff #needed fluff after that art Haz hit us with today #here is our humble offering

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brawlingdiscontent · 3 years

Text

the men of metal, menacing with golden face, 3/?

a.k.a sequel to terrible with the brightness of gold

(cherik fic, viking au, subtle a/b/o, mature rating)

(part one) (part two)

Hi all, I am so sorry for the space between these updates! - I am so close to finishing my PhD (not in any history or medieval studies field, lol) and things are just really hectic with revisions, publications and syllabi, etc.

A reminder that the last chapter (from 5000 years ago) ended with Charles being graphically/violently threatened by a mysterious man. (See the link above if you’d like to re-read it.

Warnings: Slightly gory description, mentions/implications of violence and sexual assault, child death (not Charles’ kids)

----

In the end, they don't set off that afternoon.

It’s decided in a council, a strategy meeting that Charles is not invited to, and reported to him curtly by Lehnsherr later that day that if they start off early enough it’s only most of a day’s ride to Eoforowic, and is the preferable alternative to the vulnerability of camping overnight.

He sees almost no one before the Danish king returns to the tent bearing an evening meal.

The man in question has forgone the advisors and trailing pages, leaving his subordinates behind for the night, as no loud voices or other signs announce his arrival. The denizens of the camp are likely off savouring the hours of daylight that remain in varied nefarious ways. The long summer nights are not yet over, but in the tent it’s darker, shadowed but not yet dim enough to warrant a candle or fat lamp. The canvas walls seem to glow faintly with the strange quality of early evening light.

Charles has arranged himself in a defensive position, seated at the small table on the lone chair facing the tent flap. He took advantage of his time alone to redistribute a number of the furs from the main pile, making the corner where he intends once again to sleep more comfortable and well-padded. Together with the extra things Alex brought him--when, under the watchful eyes of the guards, they risked exchanging only a nod to confirm his task’s success--he fashioned a warm berth for himself. His current placement, with its slight chill, is a tactical necessity. He straightens in the hard, wooden seat. It’s best to avoid being caught in a prone position lest Lehnsherr take it as an invitation.

When he enters, Lehsherr carries in two rough-hewn, steaming wooden bowls balanced atop an extra stool.

“You must be hungry.”

Charles scans him for ulterior motives, finding none for now. He hasn’t eaten since the food that was left for him this morning, but can’t seem to muster up much of an appetite.

“Yes. Thank you,” he says anyway. He needs to keep his strength up.

Lehnsherr sets the bowls on the small table, nudging one slightly towards Charles, and the stool beside it. He then turns away, once again going through the routine of divesting himself of his gear. If he notices or has any feelings about Charles’ rearrangement of his space he says nothing, leaving Charles to return to his own thoughts.

That afternoon, after the monstrous man retreated, slinking off to some other part of the camp while Charles stood shaken, Charles’ guards had suddenly and conspicuously reappeared.

As he was escorted back to Lehnsherr’s tent, Charles had, briefly, turned over the possibility of telling him what happened. Of what could be construed as nothing other than a violent threat. But the man hadn’t actually done anything, hadn’t even touched Charles. And what, even, were the chances that Lehnsherr would believe him—or that he would care? In any case what exactly could he expect the Dane to do? The bear-man, whoever he is, must be powerful, as he contrived some way—whether by bribery or sheer command—to send the guards away from their positions outside the tent.

—Or, the thought had occurred to him, both disturbing and the most plausible yet, perhaps Lehnsherr had sent the man to threaten him, to warn him off and keep him in line. It is this possibility that is nearest in his mind as Lehnsherr wanders the tent.

“I trust you found your men well?” Lehnsherr questions, not turning from where he is folding his gambeson.

Charles contemplates several responses. Acerbic: ‘Alive would be a more accurate understanding.’ Another part of him wants to respond in anger, Logan’s blackened eye, the morning’s events, urging him to confront and accuse Lehnsherr. It’s an urge he knows is at least partly the product of fear. He presses his palms flat against the wood of the table and feels its uneven surface press back. In the end, exhausted, and unwilling to cause a fuss, he settles on, “I did,” then turns towards the bowl before him.

The food is hot, rabbit this time. Likely commandeered from one of the many the braziers and fire pits that dot the camp as he doubts Lehnsherr has had time for hunting. It is good, and Charles feels some appetite flare again, even when Lehnsherr has divested enough weapons and layers and joins him at the table.

A silence falls between them, not exactly awkward, but not quite comfortable either. On Charles’ end, it stems from reservation. Lehnsherr, conversely, seems content not to speak.

Charles steals surreptitious glances between bites. He studies the lines of the other man’s face trying to puzzle him out as the shadows in the tent begin to lengthen.

He’s a man become even more confusing and inscrutable after the day’s events. If Lehnsherr had sent that beast of a man to threaten him in place of doing so himself, it speaks to a capacity for sophisticated psychological manipulation, one that goes beyond and complicates his reputation for sheer brutality. For all of Charles’ careful planning he hadn’t seriously considered the possibility that Lehnsherr might be worse than Shaw. He needs to know who he’s—getting into bed with, his mind supplies—getting involved with. Only then can he have any hope to defend himself. For who can say what will happen to whatever appeal he has—the tenuous sexual hold that had checked Lehnsherr the night before—once Lehnsherr finally gets what he wants and is sated. What then can Charles possibly do to hold him back, should he prove monstrous?

He must have been more transparent in his observation than he realized, an act which once again is misinterpreted.

“Relax, your Highness.” Lehnsherr says. “I’ll honour your wish to wait. I won’t touch you.”

“Until we are married,” Charles says aloud if only to remind himself, tracking with his eyes the slow advance of a line of shadow across the table.

“Until we are married,” Lehnsherr agrees, his voice carrying notes of something that has Charles turning back studiously to his food to avoid analyzing.

...

The sun is just ghosting above the horizon when they assemble to head off the next morning, gently bathing the plain in its orange-red glow. There’s a morning chill carried in the wind that batters at Charles’ cheeks. It wipes away the bleariness of the early hour, and makes him glad that extra furs were among the items that he’d requested Alex fetch. And yet the last edges of summer are holding on; it’s nothing compared to the winter they’ll face once the seasons change and even the memories of warmth fade.

Lehnsherr had woken him just before dawn, and they’d had a hurried breakfast in the tent by the light of a flickering taper. More of the flat, dry bread and some of the season’s last berries, foraged from a nearby bush.

They’ll be going overland to Eoforwic. It’s the slower route than sailing up the coast, which tells Charles that either Lehnsherr doesn’t want their journey observed or reported, or that he’s uncertain of what awaits them in Eoforwic.

Scanning the group, Charles counts about fifty gathered, all told. Enough to defend themselves if it came down to it, but still a small enough party to travel relatively unobtrusively.

His horse gives a restless shuffle, tugging gently on the reins in his hands. A nobleman's former mount, certainly. Fine little features stand out in the saddle, tack, and gear. The rivets in the saddle bags are detailed in a star motif, points radiating out in blades of light, as only the very wealthy could afford. It was probably scavenged from its slain owner, or, optimistically, was given up by a defeated city relinquishing its riches. Londres had given up several hundred horses in the surrender.

Lehnsherr, who’d gone off on an unnamed errand after seeing Charles matched with a horse, approaches once more. He’s leading not only a horse of his own, but a woman. Charles recognizes her dark eyes and small stature from the previous morning.

“Charles,” Lehnsherr says without ceremony, “this is Angel. She’s here to assist you.”

He looks back over at her, as she returns his gaze placidly. Assist him? The road, travelling rough as they are, is no place for an attendant. Then, focusing on her smooth expression, it all clicks into place.

Assist him. Ha. More like spy on him. He quickly re-assesses the meeting he interrupted yesterday as an intelligence report. Interesting. Sebastian, with his more traditionalist views, would likely not have thought to assign such a job to a beta or omega woman.

He manages, “a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Angel.” It’s a lie, of course, but Charles was raised with manners, and she can’t help the assignment she's been tasked with. While Charles is fairly confident in his charm, Angel proves just as enigmatic as her commander, offering merely a hint of a smile and a raised eyebrow before turning to see to her own mount.

With eyes on him secured, Lehnsherr seems relatively content to leave him alone, as he heads up towards the front of the column to rally the troops.

They set off, and Charles easily falls towards the back of the group, ghosted by Angel. If he had any remaining doubts about her occupation, they dissipate after watching her subte, silent moments, even on horseback.

Travelling en masse, they alternate bursts of speed with walking breaks to keep a sustainable pace for the horses.

He is content to pass the first canter course just relishing the abandon of the pace, the uneven terrain below the horses’ hooves. The sun gradually climbs higher until he can feel the warmth of it on his hair, and the wind blows across his face. He basks in the experience of being out in the open, running wild (if not free) after six months of siege.

The dusty roadside is lined here and there with dots of blue chicory, long stems stretching up tenaciously towards the sky. A flock of chaffinches, startled by their appearance, burst in flight. His spy, Angel, seems to have melted away into the group, perhaps prefering to operate in her usual mode when her targets don’t know she’s there. It is tempting to forget the circumstances and enjoy the moment.

But Charles is too pragmatic, hardened by bitter experience underlined by recent events, to let this lapse in Lehnsherr’s attention (Angel aside) go to waste.

In the first walking break, he looks around at the stragglers in the second half of the party for promising targets of some reconnaissance of his own. Just ahead and to his left are two burly men engaged in animated discussion. Inching subtly closer, he’s disappointed but not surprised to find that they’re speaking Danish. He has so little of the language, certainly not enough to make reliable sense of their discussion, but at the least perhaps listening might improve his facility. He listens amongst the glottal phrases for repeated sounds he might begin to decipher.

“It’s a blunt-tongued language, isn’t it?” a warm voice addresses Charles from slightly behind.

He starts and turns his body in the direction of the sound—as pleased to hear the softer tones of Saxon as he is startled at the sudden intrusion—to find another rider approaching on his right.

He’s a young man, a little younger than Charles from appearances, and clothed in unusual attire. A flat sort of cap, fashioned from a vibrant dark red material, adorns his head. His tunic, where it peeks through his furs, is woven of rich fabric: not over-ornamented, but of a quality far surpassing the coarse weaves and eclectic dress of the surrounding men. He carries himself with a cool confidence, perched lightly on his saddle, relaxed and much more poised than any other of Lehnsherr’s men.

Charles pulls gently at the reins, slowing his horse’s pace to allow the other man to draw even with him.

Even as he takes him in, the clothing stirs a memory at the back of his mind of a childhood long ago; Muslim traders at the Norman court. The memory is an old one; Sebastian’s kingdom was an insular one and didn’t get on with outsiders, let alone cultured guests from the learned centres of the world.

“Forgive me for startling you, Your Highness,” the man says. Despite Charles’ deliberate choice to leave his circlet behind at the tent, it seems that Lehnsherr’s scene in the banquet hall the other night has left him no chance of anonymity.

“That’s quite alright. Though, you seem to have me at a disadvantage.”

“The name’s Armando, sir.”

“Armando.” He says, rolling the name around in his mouth. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” It's the second time today he’s offered these words, but he finds he can be more sincere with them when not faced with a spy. “And what is your role here?” He’s a figure somewhat misplaced among the rough-and-tumble Danes.

“I’m a physician. Born in Cordoba, and trained in Alexandria.”

A frisson of excitement runs through Charles at this announcement. “You speak Saxon very well for an Andalusian. Better than myself, and I’ve been speaking it almost since birth.”

“Thank you. Once I had the first few, the next languages came easily enough.” He switches into Norman for the second part of explanation to demonstrate.

“How many others do you speak?”

“Fluently? I’d say seven--maybe eight.” He cracks a broad, warm smile at Charles’ astonishment. “What can I say? I’m adaptive.”

Mindful of his spy close at hand, Charles yet can’t hide his delight to be in the company of a fellow seeker in the pursuit of knowledge, one with personal experience of the madrasas of the learned world at that. Despite this, he tries to rein himself in before his enthusiasm overwhelms his caution. After all, no matter how much he may seem a kindred spirit, he doesn’t know Armando nor his agenda. And, after seeing firsthand the danger that lurks in the camp, he’d be a fool to count himself safe.

They settle into a comfortable rhythm. It’s in the next walking break that Charles, between probing questions about the scientific and medical developments out of Baghdad, catches sight of a head above the crowd. His heart stutters, and he almost jerks on the reins impulsively. Riding up at the front, near Lehnsherr, but a bit off to the side. He’s easy to spot, rising nearly head-and-shoulders above the men surrounding him, stature and bearskin robe unmistakable.

“Armando, what can you tell me about that man?”

Armando follows his gaze to the front of the party, and when he sees the man to whom Charles refers seems to hesitate.

“He goes by the name of Sabretooth. He leads one of the strongest factions among the Danish warriors.” He pauses so long that Charles thinks he might have to prompt again, before continuing. “He and his supporters are known for their unyielding savagery in battle. I’ve only ever seen the aftermath.” Armando looks towards the riders at the front, squinting into the midday sun at the outline of the man in question. His words seem improbably incongruous in the brightness of the day. “Going into battle they consume a potion to free them of inhibitions and drive away all traces of remorse. Many of his followers file their teeth, supposedly to more easily rend the flesh of their enemies. Except Sabretooth himself who they say likes the challenge of a duller edge.”

Charles masks his disquiet with a wry remark. “No doubt a firm favourite of his Grace.” He had heard tell of such stories, whispers of viking cannibals, but had always assumed them to be over-inflations of reality.

“You’re wrong about that, actually.”

He looks back over, surprised.

“I have the sense—mind you, this is just my perception—that His Grace dislikes him very much.”

Charles thinks on this. Armando’s explanation would seem to square with the disagreement he witnessed back at the camp. Furthermore, the man—Sabretooth—seems prone to unpredictable violence, of a sort that might irk someone as careful and controlled as Lehnsherr. And yet—

“If that's the case, why invite him on such a party?

Armando takes a moment to respond, looking between the two riders up ahead. “There’s a common saying in Alexandria. It translates roughly to: a wise man holds his enemies close to his breast but far from his heart.”

Charles nods in agreement as he notes the appropriateness of it, thinking of the justification he had used to convince Lehnsherr to take him along even as he once again reconfigures his knowledge of the man. He, too, is an enemy Lehnsherr has held close. But before he can take the train of thought much further, the low blast of a horn signals the return to a canter, and it’s lost in the clatter of advancing hooves.

…

In the late afternoon, the first sign of smoke on the horizon alerts them. It curls above the treetops a little ways off the road. Too dense and heavy to be from a cooking fire.

The nearby homestead is set back from the road, but after the party halts at another horn blast a few riders break away from the pack in its direction. Charles pulls his horse past the crowd of remaining men and follows after them.

It’s a desolate scene. What was formerly a cottage now smouldering ashes but for the charred edges of a door frame still standing. The field of crops outside is churned up and scattered. Crushed stalks of barley that were trodden under horses’ hooves are beaten into the mud. A handful of slaughtered animals lie along the path. But what is most evident is the woman crouched in front of the remains of the house, keening in grief. Her ragged dress is torn, at her side a small child with a soot in their hair and clothes.

Lehnsherr has already dismounted, handed off his reins to another rider in order to survey the scene. Charles follows suit without a thought, and once he gets closer, it unfolds before him tragic inevitability.

He sees the dead man lying a few feet away from the woman and child, his grotesquely splayed body telling the story of his violent end. Then, clutched in the woman’s arms, a boy. A mere child, perhaps thirteen summers. His small eyes are closed almost peacefully, his forehead smeared with clotted blood.

Armando, who has followed Charles from the road, is quick to be rallied to aid.

Insensible in grief, the woman seems to barely register their presence as they cautiously approach. The young child, likely too small to comprehend the events that have taken place, tugs on her dress to get her attention, until she at last looks up at them. Her gaze is empty as one beyond reach, already crossed over to the next world.

It strikes Charles deeply, who freezes, feeling her disconnection mirrored in his own. Dissociation is a strategy he’s used to make himself hard, hiding his emotions in a fortress to protect them from a scene that has and will continue to play out countless times across the countryside. Recognizing it now in this woman, he’s struck by its haunting unnaturalness, the hollowness it invokes.

Armando, who had gently nudged the woman aside to conduct an examination, looks up and shakes his head.

The young child shrieks suddenly, drawing back and cowering behind their mother, who, past caring, doesn’t noticeably react. The cause is soon clear: having finished attentively examining the scene and damage, Lehnsherr is making his way over. To his credit, in response to the child’s dismay he slows his approach and spreads his hands wide in the universal symbol of non-aggression. It’s the only reason that Charles makes no move to stop him as he nears the woman and child, and crouches down.

Charles watches as he starts a conversation in Saxon, gently asking a question or two. He thinks he hears Lehnsherr quietly mutter a few words following the woman’s stilted responses. Then the man pulls an aged leather drawstring pouch from somewhere on his person, and produces several small, glinting coins which he hands to the woman.

A weregild.

Blood price for so much death and evil, paid for with some mere pieces of metal. He rails internally at his own impotence, safe behind a palace wall while people are suffering; dying. And at the authors of the violence, as Lehnsherr’s actions here have surely confirmed, the very men he rides with.

He’s overwhelmed by a helpless rage that washes over him like a tide.

“A few coins” the words come out flat, subdued. “Do you think they can repair the loss of a husband, bring back her child?” It’s an accusation but empty, anger deserting him as quickly as it arrived for a dull hopelessness.

Lehnsherr turns to him, delayed. His gaze is a bit distant, as though he’d forgotten Charles was there.

“It will bring them food,” he says levelly, “buy them shelter for the winter. Nothing can bring back the dead.”

Charles stands there for an indeterminable span of time, consumed by the endless cruelties of men. By this tangible reminder of the pain caused and lives lost to men—no, not men, beasts, seeking only personal glory, an enrichment of power.

“You generals and your wars,” he says coldly and turns away, the smoke still stinging in his eyes.

#cherik #viking au #Charles Xavier #Erik Lehnsherr #x-men #subtle a/b/o #cherik fic #brawlingdiscontent #twtbog #encomium carolis regis

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peggyrose19 · 3 years

Text

Midnight Kisses

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVELIES!! I’M MANIFESTING A HAPPY 2021 DAMMIT!! SO ENJOY MY PAINFULLY FLUFFY MIDNIGHT KISS FICS FOR THE SW SHIPS. THESE ARE SHIT CAUSE I STARTED THEM AT 9PM BUT IT’S FINE.

I’ll stop yelling now. I really wanna explain all of these but I’m not going to because there’s honestly no need, I just tend to over-explain things. So enjoy all the fluff and love in these little one-shots. Characters from the amazingly talented @lumosinlove. I wish you all the most boring, uneventful 2021 <333

Coops

“Look, baby,” Remus whispered, pointing up at the sky, although the fireworks were hard to miss.

“They’re beautiful,” Sirius murmured. He wasn’t looking at the fireworks exploding in the night sky, but the man in his arms. Remus glanced down at him, catching his eye.

“What?”

Sirius shook his head. “Nothing. Just… happy. I love you.”

Remus smiled, seeming to understand what he meant. He remembered the late night, exactly a year earlier, when he had swallowed those words down, all dim light and flushed cheeks in the back of a car, hiding from the world. Not that it had mattered.

“I love you too,” he said back, pressing a kiss to Sirius’ cheek, and then his lips. It wasn’t yet midnight, wouldn’t be for a few hours, but Remus didn’t care. He could kiss Sirius, his fiancé, in wide open now without fear. It was a privilege he was never taking for granted.

When midnight did come, and fireworks were set off once more, Remus kissed him again, surrounded by their friends and family as they all rung in the new year. Sirius was sweet and pliant beneath his hands, arms wrapped tightly around him, never letting go.

It was the perfect start to a new year.

O’Knutzy

“Happy New Year, baby!” Logan shouted, arm wrapped around Finn’s neck.

“Lo, that was the oven,” Leo sighed from the kitchen. “It’s 11:32. Honestly, we should not have let him drink so much.”

Finn just shrugged, accepting the wet kisses Logan was now planting to his cheek and neck.

Leo fought a smile as he watched them. So maybe drunk Logan was kind of endearing.

“Here.” He held out one of the pigs-in-blankets from the batch cooling on the counter, and Logan took it happily in his mouth.

“Yum,” he managed around it, grinning at Leo. Finn accepted one too, still caught by Logan’s arms around him. Leo ate one too, then walked around the island to their side, wrapping his arms around them both. He kissed Logan’s cheek.

“I’m glad I get to spend the new year with the two of you,” he murmured.

“We’re glad too, baby,” Finn replied, twisting to press a quick kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Fish.”

“I love you Knutty!” Logan yelled, and they both jumped.

“Oh, Tremzy,” Finn sighed. “What are we gonna do with you.”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “Kiss me?”

Leo gave him a quick kiss and pulled away. “At midnight,” he promised when Logan pouted at the loss of contact.

“Well, midnight needs to hurry up and get here then,” he grumbled. Finn just laughed and tugged him towards the couch.

“C’mon, let’s wait for the ball to drop.”

Logan let himself be pulled, collapsing nearly on top of Finn and making no move to adjust his position. Finn flipped the television on and pulled a blanket over them, leaving room for Leo once he was done in the kitchen.

A moment later, Leo joined them in watching the commercials currently playing, snuggling into Logan’s side, smiling happily. They watched quietly, enjoying each other’s silent company, until it was nearly time.

At five minutes to, Leo pulled the champagne from the cabinet. Logan was nearly bouncing up and down. Leo wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to give him more alcohol.

As the countdown began, Finn took the bottle from Leo. When they hit one, he popped it open, and all three of them cheered. With wide grins, Finn and Leo kissed Logan’s cheeks, and then each other, and then Logan one by one.

They drank their champagne and kissed again, sloppy and sticky and in love.

When they fell back onto the couch, tangled together in a pile of limbs and blankets, it was to the sound of fireworks outside and the pounding of their own hearts, the taste of champagne on their lips, and the overwhelming feeling of the happiness that was to come.

Thoelle

Thomas still couldn’t quite believe his luck. He couldn’t believe it when he woke in the morning to Noelle asleep at his side, or the days she would pick him up at the rink, or the kiss she gave him each night before bed.

He certainly didn’t believe it was two minutes to midnight and she was by his side, arm around his waist as they waited impatiently for the ball to drop and the hour hand to fall to the 12.

“What’re you thinking about?” she asked him, dark hair falling in a curtain over her shoulder. He ran a hand through it, in love with the silkiness and the way always she melted under his touch.

“You,” he replied softly.

“What a charmer you are,” she murmured, but her cheeks were flushed.

“Still can’t believe it.”

“Believe what?” She had turned more towards him now.

“That I have you. Still feels like a dream sometimes.”

She smiled, ducking her head. Noelle wasn't usually one to shy away from attention, but sometimes he could still get her. Thomas leaned down and lightly kissed her nose, making her laugh and look back up at him.

“You wanna know something?” she asked.

“What?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Thomas replied almost instantly, on instinct. Noelle laughed a little, eyes wide.

“You do?”

“Of course.”

She opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted by a loud shout, the countdown beginning around them. Instead she just grinned up at him.

“You ready for a new year?”

“With you by my side? Hell, yeah.”

Together, they shouted the last few numbers, “Four...three...two...one!”

As cheers erupted around them, Thomas leaned down and kissed Noelle softly.

“I love you, Noelle Tremblay,” he murmured against her lips. She pulled away and laughed, giddy and free, wrapped in his arms and warmth.

She kissed him again, whispering back, “I love you too, Thomas Walker.”

O’Darwin

Kasey’s constant was back, at least for a little while.

It had been a surprise, to see Alex standing on their doorstep three days before New Years, a suitcase in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. Natalie had jumped on him instantly, taking the bottle from him and kissing him, tugging him into the apartment by the collar of his jacket.

“Alex O’Hara,” she had scolded him, “How dare you show up here unannounced?” Alex had just grinned.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

Kasey had shaken his head, kissing Alex softly and settling by his side on the couch. He was glad Alex was home, even if it was just for a few days. He had missed him.

Now it was nearly midnight on New Year’s Eve. All three of them were drunk, happily sequestered in the apartment. Natalie and Alex were dancing to bad pop music, leftover lights from Christmas sending rainbows dancing across their faces as they moved, with glitter in their hair and champagne on their lips. They had meant to save it for midnight, truly.

“Kase, come dance with us!” Natalie laughed, grabbing his hand and tugging him off the sofa. He let her, smiling softly at the two of them.

He looked up as the clock on the mantle began chiming, and fireworks began outside.

“Happy New Year,” he murmured to them and Natalie and Alex both cheered. They kissed each other, and then him, and Kasey smiled at the taste.

Beginning the new year with his two favorite people wasn’t so bad after all.

Nuny

The phone woke Jackson from his nap. He answered it groggily, not bothering to read the caller name.

“Hello?” he asked grumpily.

“Nado?” a familiar voice asked and suddenly he was wide awake.

“Zhenya. Hey. How are you?”

“I’m good. It is uh… how you say? Midnight here.”

“Oh!” Jackson squinted at his watch, quickly doing the math on the time difference. “I guess it is. Well, happy new year.”

“Thank you.” Evgeni fell silent for a long moment. “I’m wish you were here,” he said finally, breaking the silence.

Jackson sighed. “Me too. I miss you.”

“Miss you. I see you soon, da?”

He smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, Kuns, soon.”

“I’m kiss you then.”

That made Jackson laugh quietly. “Yeah, you kiss me then.” He bit his lip. “Go to sleep, Zhenya. I’ll call you again in the morning.”

“Okay. I’m call later.”

“Good, okay. Happy New Year, Kuns.”

“Happy New Year.”

Jily

Harry was getting big. It felt like just a week ago he had been a tiny newborn, fitting in the palm of James’ hand with room to spare. Lily didn’t mind. Usually. He was nearly a year old now, able to crawl all around the house and make endless babbling noises, talking to his stuffed animals and the bugs in the garden.

He was crawling around the living room now, dressed in a new onesie that wouldn’t fit him in another two weeks, picking at the carpet and up way past his bedtime.

Lily and James had missed the actual countdown, preoccupied with chasing their little gremlin around the house and failing to put him to bed. Even little Harry seemed to sense the excitement in the air.

It was nearly one in the morning by the time Harry finally fell asleep, stuffed lion clutched in his tiny fingers. The two exhausted parents collapsed onto the couch, leaning into each other as their eyes slipped shut.

“I can’t believe he stayed up… for six extra hours,” Lily mumbled without opening her eyes. James just grumbled. “We missed the countdown, too.”

“‘S okay,” he answered sleepily, “We can do it next year.”

“Yeah.” They fell silent. Eventually, Lily said, “We should get to bed.”

They stumbled to their feet and upstairs to their bedroom, too tired to even bother with brushing their teeth. They just fell into bed, curled up together exhausted and happy.

“Happy New Year, Lily,” James whispered into the darkness.

“Happy New Year,” she whispered back, and kissed him sweetly. She snuggled closer, laying her head on his chest, and the two fell instantly asleep to the distant sound of leftover fireworks.

#HAPPY NEW YEAR #coop #o'knutzy #thoelle #o'darwin #nuny #jily #lumosinlove #sweater weather #coast to coast #midnight kisses #fluff #love #new year's eve #here's to an uneventful 2021 #love you all

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awanderingdeal · 3 years

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Never too late - 8

An eternity later and it is here! Part 8 of 'Never too Late'. How much of this is me projecting? You'll never know.

CW: Food, alcohol, feelings of queer exclusion at prom, coming out, [very minor and it is shut down] compulsory sexuality.

Please message me if you feel I missed anything out.

Just a note, that due to the POV of this fic, there is a lot of linking between relationships and romance to prom. I just want to reiterate that prom absolutely does not have to be a romantic event if you do not want it to. The beef is more that queer kids do not always have the choice to go with their partners safely, and the stress of not knowing whether it would have been okay or not.

I hope that all of you that wanted to were able to have the prom you wanted and if you weren't able to, please know it is just ONE day. Throw your own if you want to. Don't if you don't want to. I know for myself, I have a lot of feelings about it, so please don't read this if it going to upset you.

Rating: T

Previous and future chapters can be found on my masterlist.

All credit for Sweater Weather and these characters go to @lumosinlove

8. Go to a dance. Kiss your first love. Well, at least you think they are anyway. But remember kids, consent always.

Leo was excited, to say the least. Sprawled on his bed, laptop in front of him and his cell to the right, he knew it was getting late, but he wanted to research a little longer. He had a venue and a catering team locked down; the latter he had done reluctantly, after yet another person had told him that he absolutely could not cater the event himself.

His phone buzzed insistently, and Leo grunted. Why would anybody call when you could just text? He grunted again when he read the caller id.

Regulus. What a traitor.

“Hello?” Leo answered, rolling onto his back. He felt a tightness in his lumbar region, and made a mental note to mention it to Hestia in the morning if the sensation was still there when he woke up.

“Go to sleep.”

“ I will soon,” Leo hummed. “Did you look at my text?”

“Leo. It’s 2am.”

“Yes, I worked very hard to learn to tell the time, thank you.” In truth, the last time Leo remembered checking the time, it had still been the previous day. Logan had a popped his head around the door to tell Leo that he and Finn were going to crash in one of the other rooms, and that Leo should get some sleep soon. Leo had nodded and assured Logan he wouldn’t be too long.

Regulus’ sigh on the other end of the phone interrupted his memory.

“And you’re getting cranky,” Regulus said. Leo could imagine the smooth raised eyebrow that accompanied the words. “If I tell you which theme I like, will you go to sleep?”

Leo shifted, pushing himself up against the stack of pillows. He nodded eagerly, before remembering Regulus couldn’t see him. “Yes. I promise.”

“I like both -”

“That is not helpful!”

“Wait a second. Merde. You should combine them.”

“That’s,” Leo wrinkled his nose, contemplating the idea. “That’s actually kind of genius.”

“You can thank me later,” Regulus offered smugly. “After you’ve got some sleep.”

***

“So Reg, who’s the lucky person who gets to be your date to this thing?” Finn asked, plucking a brownie from the plate in the middle of the table, before settling into the seat opposite Leo.

“It’s not a thing!” Leo protested.

“Sorry, babe. This prom,” Finn grinned.

Regulus worried his lip between his teeth, looking first at Leo and then turning his gaze back to Finn. “Do I have to go with someone?”

“Yes,” Finn said resolutely, at the same time as Leo shook his head, giving the opposite answer.

“No,” Leo repeated, narrowing his eyes at Finn. “People go to prom with friends all the time.”

“Okay, yeah, fine. You don’t have to,” Finn agreed, giving a placating smile. Leo hated that it worked. If he were being honest, they should probably utilise the O’Hara smile in diplomatic relations. “But don’t you want to have the quintessential prom kiss?”

“Finn -”

“I was actually thinking I could borrow Leo,” Regulus rolled his eyes, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Apparently Finn didn't catch it though. His face contorted into a thousand different expressions in the space of a second. Conflicted. Contemplative. Accepting. “Well...I guess I’d be okay with it, if Leo is, but Lo-”

“That was a joke, Finn,” Regulus laughed.

“Oh, right,” Finn laughed as well, the tips of his cheeks tinged pink. “Well. Yeah. Prom kisses are nice. I had sex for the first time on my prom. Although, she did cheat on my two months later, so maybe I’m not the best example to follow,” he rambled.

“That was a lot to learn about somebody in a very short amount of time," Regulus commented, clutching his mug between his hands.

Finn shrugged, leaning forward to grab another brownie, seemingly uncaring about the wealth of information he had just offered.

***

“Hey, Le?”

Leo looked up from his phone, finding Regulus hovering next to him, shifting his weight from foot to foot. He cocked his head slightly in question.

“Can we talk?”

Leo frowned, setting his phone down on the coffee table and patted the seat next to him on the sofa. “You don’t usually ask,” he smirked.

Regulus’ smile back seemed strained, but Leo didn’t comment on it. “Earlier,” Regulus started as he took a seat, playing with the tips of his fingers before he stopped abruptly, placing them in his lap. “In the kitchen? What Finn said?”

Leo sighed gently, “Ignore him. Finn’s mouth and his feet are well acquainted. You know Finn. He just doesn't always think before he speaks. I’m sorry if he upset you.”

“You shouldn’t apologise for your boyfriend. If I wanted an apology I would have gone to him.” ” Regulus chided. His expression softened, his next intake of breath larger than usual. “Can you just listen?”

“Sorry,” Leo turned to look at Regulus properly. “You were saying?”

Regulus gave a small nod. “I don’t think I want that.”

Leo opened his mouth to speak, remembered Regulus’ request and snapped it shut again.

“Not the kisses. Not the sex. None of it. I think I’m asexual” The words came out in a single, hurried burst, but Regulus seemed to stumble over the last one, as if it was unfamiliar to him, unpractised. Leo could picture his friend frantically asking google questions, refining each search as he learned new information. He’d been there himself once.

A silence hung in the air, the two of them staring at one another, with an intensity that was making Leo feel uncomfortable, but he didn't want to be the first to break eye contact.

“Désolé," Regulus blinked. "Say something. Please."

Leo shuffled forward, his arms outstretched. “I’m going to hug you now.” He waited a beat to allow Regulus to protest, before pulling him close. Regulus sat stiffly, taking a moment to relax into the embrace and when he did, Leo squeezed him a little tighter. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I knew you’d be okay with it,” Regulus grumbled. Leo was sure he heard a hint of relief despite the attempt to appear ambivalent. He let Regulus go, putting some space between them again, knowing his friend had more personal space boundaries than Leo was used to dealing with.

“It’s still scary. Even if you’re almost certain it’s going to be alright. And just in case you need to hear it, I love you, you’re valid and even if you decide that’s not the right label for you that’s okay too.”

“What are you? Like, gay Yoda?” Regulus gave a small laugh, but he sniffed wetly. “Thanks.”

“A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defence, never for attack,” Leo made a fist, wrapped his other hand over the top and bowed his head.

“Nerd.”

“Wait, can I ask you a question?” Regulus’ consenting nod was slow and tentative. “Does this mean you’d prefer if I stop sending you half naked photos every other day?” Leo let the corner of his mouth curl into a smirk.

Regulus barked a very uncharacteristic laugh, deep and loud. “While I can appreciate the aesthetic appeal of Chris Evans, yes, I’ve seen enough of that man to last me many lifetimes .” He punched Leo lightly in the knee. Leo raised an eyebrow at the very frat - boy inspired action, and Regulus made a face that suggested he wasn’t quite sure where it had come from either. “I’m sure company is not an issue for you in this household, but don’t worry I’ll still watch The Avengers with you.”

“A real hero,” Leo drawled. “Hey.” He met Regulus’ eyes, his tone taking on a more serious note again. “You know you can tell Finn. And Logan, right? If that’s what you want. Whenever you’re ready. They’ll be cool.”

“Yeah,” Regulus breathed. “I don’t doubt it.”

“And if they’re not. I’ll personally kick them in the balls for you.”

***

Leo fussed with his bowtie in the mirror, tilting his head this way and that, trying to decide if it was straight.

“Stop. You look great. They’re going to die,” Regulus declared, making Leo jump slightly. He’d known the man was in the room, but his best friend had a habit of just appearing beside him unannounced.

Leo took another look in the mirror, running his fingers over the slightly raised texture of his initials monogrammed into the teal suspenders. “Yeah, I guess I’ll do,” he hummed, turning to face Regulus, scanning his eyes over him. Even Leo had been surprised by Regulus’ choice of attire, knowing now why he had kept the outfit such a secret. “Bold choice,” he remarked.

“Too much?”

“No,” Leo shook his head. Maybe it would have been on somebody else, but Regulus wore the mustard yellow three - piece effortlessly. He reached out to touch the blue sapphire that embellished the lapel, a gold chain linking it to the breast pocket. “Not at all. I’m just jealous.”

“Alright boys, are we ready?” Alex asked, clapping his hands together.

“Yeah.”

“As we’ll ever be.”

“Ready!” Kuny boomed, making a show of checking his pocket watch, the gold chain attaching it to his vest was somehow, even more ornate than Regulus’.

The four of them turned to glance at Remus, the only one in the room left to reply. Shrugging his jacket over his shoulders, Remus smiled. “I guess I can’t play with this tie any longer.”

“Alright then. I don’t know a lot about you guys, but I want to see my boyfriend,” Alex rocked on his feet, Leo chuckled, the man pretended he was so much more chill than his younger brother, but excitement seemed to bubble under his skin all the same. Leo didn’t blame Alex though, separating the partners into different rooms had seemed like a good idea earlier in the evening, but now he just wanted to see Finn and Logan, ideally before he exploded with anticipation. He couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for those of them that had to wait for their partners to arrive from the Potter’s house, where the ladies had opted to get ready.

“Yes. I want see Jackson,” Kuny nodded resolutely.

“Lord, help me,” Regulus whined. Leo just laughed, wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulders.

***

“Cap! Stop undressing Loops with your eyes, he put a lot of effort into finding that suit.”

“Kuny. Put Nado down. There are people here.”

“Harzy. Are you crying?”

“You can close your mouth now, Leo.” Regulus tapped a finger lightly against Leo’s jaw. He would have tried to defend himself from the accusation, but he couldn’t deny the quiet clink of his teeth snapping back together.

“I’m just going to need a minute,” Leo mumbled, dragging his eyes over Finn and Logan’s bodies.

“Take your time,” Regulus chuckled. “Is-” Regulus leaned forward, squinting slightly. “Does Finn’s jacket match the invites.”

“I think they’re flowers.” Although, from afar, the swirls of blue and silver painted over the jacket did resemble the night sky artwork the two of them had settled on for the invites. Leo had insisted they needed them despite Regulus’ very valid point that saw all of the attendees at least once a week. “I’m going to go and check,” Leo waved a hand towards his boyfriends. He could see Logan’s lips moving, Finn’s grin widening with each word and Leo wanted in on that conversation.

“Sure,” Regulus hummed. “You go and do that.”

Leo stole a glance behind him as he crossed the short distance of their lounge, feeling a pang of guilt about leaving Regulus so easily on what was supposed to be his night. He needn't have worried though, he had barely taken a few paces before Regulus was swarmed by Thomas and James. Leo huffed a laugh at Regulus' disgruntled expression as they fawned at his suit.

***

“Leo. Regulus. Welcome! These must be your guests.” Estella, the only one of fifteen event planners that he and Regulus could agree on, smiled wide. “Is everybody here? I can always have somebody come and meet any stragglers?”

“No, this is all of us,” Leo confirmed. Corralling everybody into the two limos had been a task, but somehow they had all managed to make it to the museum without anybody being left behind.

“Alright then. Follow me. I think you’re going to love what we’ve settled on.” Estella turned on her heel, tight curls bouncing behind her as she led them up the grand staircase. Leo had been to The Natural History museum many times during the day, but the place had a strange sense of awe without the usual bustle of visitors, and he couldn’t wait to see what the events hall had been transformed into.

Estella pushed the ornate double doors open, blocking the entrance with her body. She must have noticed how Leo’s feet itched with anticipation because she gave a small smirk as she stepped aside. “Enjoy your evening, gentlemen. I’ll be around should you need anything."

Leo looked back at the group behind him; his team, his friends, his family, and felt the pool of anxiety that had been bubbling in his stomach all day, churn again. This evening had started off as being for Regulus, but it had quickly grown beyond that. While prom wasn’t inherently romantic, the traditions that came alongside it were embroiled with ideas that had marginalised so many of them, even if they hadn’t realised it at the time. A part of him hated that a high school event that was truly insignificant in the grand scheme of things could hold so much weight. He wanted to rebel, to not let it be important at all. Another just wanted to be able to give them all the night they had wished for back then.

“What’s the delay?” Natalie’s voice shook Leo from his head, and he glanced to his left at Regulus before moving into the room.

Estella and her team had really come through. They had weaved Leo and Regulus’ ideas on decoration into something spectacular. He had to force himself not to pause again, waiting until he was less of an obstruction to the rest of them, to stop and look up at the ceiling. There were hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny lights strung to look exactly like the night sky. Right in the centre, Leo recognised the pattern to be that of his namesake, one light slightly brighter than all the rest.

“Hey,” Sirius clapped a hand on Regulus’s shoulder. “How come you get to be up there and I don’t.”

“Can’t stand not to be the centre of attention can you, big brother?” Regulus shot back and Sirius just shook his head with a laugh, hurrying after Remus.

***

“This one is for all you loved up folk out there,” the DJ’s voice rang through the room, the music slowly fading from a thuddy beat into the tender piano notes of the next song.

Leo winced as Marlene squealed, tugging Dorcas from her chair, the latter almost tripping over her train in the rush, although she regained her composure quickly. She moved just as swiftly in her heels as Marlene did in her black and white oxfords. He watched the two of them leave, Dorcas’ emerald green dress almost sparkling as it caught the light.

“Go on,” Regulus nudged Leo, tilting his head in the direction of where Finn and Logan had already procured a spot on the dance floor. “Go dance with your boys.”

Leo glanced at Regulus, before turning his gaze to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. He contorted his features into a series of faces that to anybody else probably seemed nonsensical, but they caught on perfectly, answering his silent question with simultaneous nods of their heads.

“Or,” Leo placed his hand, palm upright, on the table. “You could do me the honour?”

“I’m not,” Regulus wrinkled his nose. “You don’t need to -”

“Indulge me, Reggie.”

“Only if you stop calling me that,” Regulus sighed, grasping Leo’s hand. “I’m leading.”

Regulus, it turned out, could dance. Leo was passable. He let himself be led around the floor, laughing with his friend at all the couples that weren’t quite as accomplished, his boyfriend’s included.

The music flowed seamlessly from the deep tones of John Legend into the lighter ones of Taylor Swift.

“Yes! My girl, Tay Tay. Now we’re talking.”

Regulus rolled his eyes playfully, “Calm down, Le. I think your gay is showing.”

“Okay, Karen.”

“I am wounded,” Regulus clutched his hand to chest, placing it back on Leo’s hip without missing a beat. He looked up, smiling at Leo softly. “You should go and dance with them now. I think they could do with your help.”

“Non!” Logan argued, stumbling over Finn’s feet once again. “I know how to dance. It is Finn who is a liability,” he added, as they came to a halt beside Leo and Regulus.

***

Reg! Did you see Kam sent the link for the photos?

I did. You want to look at them together, non?

Oui, Oui! Come over now?

Leo waited to receive the confirmation text, before he hurried into the kitchen to compile a selection of snacks, as well as a jug of lemon water for Finn. On his final trip, he added the ever-present jug of sweet tea from the fridge to the tray, setting it all up on the table in front of the TV in the lounge.

“Baby Black is coming over then?” Logan teased, sprawling onto the sofa next to Leo.

“Sssh,” Leo whined, pressing a finger to Logan’s lips. “Otherwise no doughnuts for you.”

Logan gasped, launching himself at Leo, his hands finding the spot below Leo’s ribs where he was most ticklish. “How dare you threaten me with such things?”

“Stop it,” Leo spluttered between laughs, squirming away from the assault. Thankfully the doorbell rang just as Leo thought he was going to have to tap out, Logan letting him up to go and answer it.

It took a few minutes to get all four of them settled on the couch and the photos casting from his cell to the TV, but eventually they managed it.

Kam, and their assistant, had done a great job of capturing the entire night, from everybody getting ready to a very drunk James and Evgeni snoring softly against the giant moon structure. James was swamped by Evgeni’s checked suit jacket and James’ pinstripe one hung from Evgeni’s arm.

“Did you three plan this?” Regulus laughed as a photo of Sirius, Logan and Pascal appeared on the screen. The three of them had chosen to go with a classic tuxedo, albeit with slight variations.

“We did not. We just all have impeccable taste,” Logan retorted.

“Oh my God!” Finn sat forward, squinting at the screen. “They definitely planned that though.” He waved at the image of Alex and Kasey, their suits the same but in reverse; Alex’s jacket a navy blue with a checked grey vest and Kasey the opposite.

“Finn babe,” Leo frowned, sliding Finn’s glasses onto his face. “How did you go the entire night without noticing that. Aren’t you supposed to be the fashion connoisseur, here?”

“I was distracted!” Finn protested. “By…” he beamed as a photo of him, Leo and Logan replaced the previous image. “That.”

Regulus faked a gag, swiping at the phone to get a new photo. Any argument that was about to ensue was abruptly ended as they all burst into laughter. On the screen, a sheepish looking Pascal was being berated by Estella, her finger pointing to the sign to the left of the vine covered swing that Pascal was sitting on that read, ‘For decorative purposes only’.

They went through hundreds of photos. Some of them were sweet; Natalie with her arms wrapped around Regulus’s waist pressing a kiss to his cheek. Some of them were silly; everybody sat in rows on the dancefloor, their arms out to side. Some of them staged; Regulus and Leo sat on the big arm chairs beneath the origami stars. All of them captured tiny moments that none of them wanted to forget.

Leo tucked his head against Regulus' shoulder, trying to stifle his tears. He wasn't upset, not at all. It was just a lot. Seeing it all again. And then he remembered that all the decorations had been donated. Most of the woodland pieces, including the huge faux tree that had stood in the middle of one of the tables had gone to a local young theatre troupe that were struggling to finance their show, and the starry night pieces had gone to a group that were organising a Queer prom for the region's high schoolers that maybe didn't feel accepted at their own. For Leo, knowing that young kids like himself could take their prom photos with whomever they wanted, could truly decide whether they wanted to go with friends or their partners without fear, was the best part of all. Regulus wrapped his arm around Leo, pulling him closer.

"Thank you, I had the best prom ever."

#regulus black #leo knut #sweater weather #lumosinlove #rating: t #food #alcohol #compulsory sexuality #prom #coming out

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amanda-glassen · 3 years

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Her Everything

Part of @svuappreciation #WSVU Week. Day 7: Heartbreak. Twelve-year-old Olivia overhears why her mom never told her who her dad is. TW: rape mention.

From March to June, twelve-year-old Olivia’s Saturday mornings would be dedicated to softball. Her team may not have won that morning, but the loss didn’t matter to Olivia. She had hit a homerun and three of her favorite people were there to watch her: her mom, her uncle, and her girlfriend, Alex. It made Olivia particularly proud to see her two favorite women dressed in her team colors. Alex was wearing a mint green v-neck t-shirt with her long hair back in a ponytail with a mint green scrunchie. Her mom wore the t-shirt that all the moms wore but, never being the kind to wear an oversized t-shirt, she had cut it into a tank top to wear with her leggings. Neither her mom nor Alex knew anything about softball, but her uncle Kyle was there to explain everything to them and, even if Alex didn’t understand the game, Olivia didn’t mind as long as her cute good luck charm was there to watch her play.

She and Alex had been a couple for two months and, at twelve, two months felt like a serious commitment, especially because Alex was now allowed to come over on weekends. There wasn’t even the slightest chance that she’d be allowed in Olivia’s room with the door closed, but Olivia didn’t care where they were as long as she was allowed to hold Alex’s hand.

They decided to watch a movie on the couch after the game while Olivia’s mom and uncle were having a glass of wine in the kitchen. Olivia always enjoyed when her uncle visited and she’d overhear the casual back and forth between them－the kind that happened between siblings－the casual teasing, sharing stories, making each other laugh. It was what Olivia sometimes longed to have even if she knew it were impossible.

“I wish I had a brother,” she told Alex.

Alex pressed pause on the remote so she could focus on Olivia without any distractions. “No, you don’t,” she told her, her eyes wide. “Little brothers are annoying. I’ll give you mine for the weekend and you’ll be so glad you’re an only child.”

“Not even,” Olivia insisted. “Your little brother Logan is fun. Remember when me and him built a LEGO T-Rex and your parents took us to the batting cages and I taught him how to hit a curveball?”

Alex batted her eyelashes at her. “That’s because you like boy things.”

“I like you,” Olivia said as she started to tickle her. “And you are definitely not a boy thing.”

“Olivia!” Alex squealed loudly when Olivia continued to tickle her.

“Girls?” they heard Serena call out from the kitchen. “What are you doing in there?”

“Nothing,” Alex and Olivia responded in unison, although they knew their time alone was now over. She quickly pressed play on the remote and sat a comfortable distance away from Alex.

Her uncle Kyle was the first to enter the living room followed by her mom, both with a full wine glass in hand. “Your mom says we have to come cramp your style, as if she didn’t have her first girlfriend when she was twelve or thirteen,” her uncle said to her. He sat down on an accent chair on one side of the couch while her mom sat down on the other. “What are we watching?”

“The Blair Witch Project,” Alex responded. “I’ve always wanted to see it, but my mom has my Netflix profile set to a Kids’ profile. I never get to watch anything fun. I’m twelve now. I should be able to watch whatever I want.”

“Maybe not whatever you want,” Serena told her. “But I’m sure she’ll let you watch more things little by little. Middle school sleepovers are when most girls start watching horror movies.”

“I remember the first time Serena watched this movie with her friends,” Kyle began. “She had a sleepover for her 13th birthday and there were probably ten girls over. My sister thought she was so cool because she was the only one who wasn’t scared. What she didn’t tell them was that she had watched this movie the night before to prepare herself so she wouldn’t be scared in front of her friends. There’s this scene toward the end where there’s a lot of screaming and that’s when I decided to mess with the circuit breaker and turn all the lights off in the house. Serena ran to our parents’ room, screaming ‘Daddy!’ at the top of her lungs. Just like that, her seventh grade reputation was ruined.”

Olivia was laughing hysterically, but Alex wasn’t so amused. “That sounds like something my little brother would do. Why are boys such jerks?”

Serena gently swirled her wine in the glass before taking a sip. “Boys are jerks until you humble them.”

“Had I known what my sister was capable of, I wouldn’t have spent the first 18 years of my life messing with her and it’d be in your brother’s best interest for him not to mess with you either,” Kyle responded. “Serena and I are best friends now, but when we were kids, I messed with her all the time and she never did anything about it. Little did I know she wasn’t one for petty revenge. My sister is calculated and cunning and she got me back in the best way.”

“How?” Alex asked, wide-eyed. “Is it something I can do, too?”

“Maybe in a few years,” Serena responded. “It was the first time frat boys proved themselves useful. Out of every college in America, he decided to go to the same school I did and join my sorority’s brother fraternity.”

“Had I known my sister had actual henchmen, I wouldn’t have,” Kyle chuckled. “This was 2007, so you know those douchey looking frat boys in teen movies back then with the gelled hair and Abercrombie shirts with the popped collars? That’s exactly what they looked like. They had these rich boy names like Kemper, Bennett, and Bradford, and my sister had all of them wrapped around her finger. They made my life a living hell when I started pledging just because she told them to and when I begged her to call this whole thing off, she said, in the most innocent tone of voice, ‘My darling baby brother, this is only the beginning. You still have eight weeks left.’ After that, I never messed with Serena again. To this day, I won’t even eat the last slice of pizza until I make sure Serena doesn’t want it. There was this other guy, Emerson, who was her best friend at the time－”

“I have to call my girlfriend,” Serena interrupted. “Excuse me.” She quickly got up to leave and Kyle hurried after her.

“Ren, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Ren?”

Although she wanted to check on her mom, she knew whatever her mom was upset about was probably something she had no business asking about, so she decided to stay with Alex. “Everything is okay,” Alex said as she rested her head on Olivia’s shoulder. “My brother and I fight all the time and everything is okay after our parents make us talk about it.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Olivia pressed play on the remote and the two of them watched the movie until the pizza arrived. With free reign to order whatever she wanted, Olivia got two large pizzas, wings, cheesy bread, and pasta. It took both her and Alex to carry it to the table, but Olivia made sure to carry the pizzas because they were the heaviest items and Olivia thought it would show Alex how strong she was.

“I’ll be right back,” she told Alex once everything was neatly placed on the kitchen table. “Mom! Uncle Kyle! The pizza is here!”

She pressed her ear to the door and kept as quiet as she could so she could hear them talking.

“How could you even bring him up in front of Olivia?” she heard her mom ask. “Or bring him up in front of me, for that matter? You’ll never understand what he did to me...what he still does to me every time I see him on social media with his wife and kids. He ruined my life when he raped me and it didn’t phase him. I don’t follow him. I don’t search for his name. I blocked him, but there’s no getting away from him in our social circle when everyone knows everyone. I have these constant reminders of the worst night of my life. Even Olivia…I just thought...how could I love someone that was conceived by a monster?”

She never even wanted me. She still doesn’t want me. The person I love most in the world doesn’t even love me back. She’s just been saying it all these years because she’s had to. Olivia swallowed hard to prevent herself from crying. With Alex waiting for her in the kitchen, she wanted to remain calm and collected. She didn’t cry when she saw her. Instead, she hugged Alex longer than she ever had before and found comfort in her arms since she knew she couldn’t hug her mommy anymore.

Just as she had been taught to do by her own mother, Serena touched up her makeup and pretended as if nothing had happened. It was all a misunderstanding her mother had told her when she was twenty-one. ‘What did you expect, Serena? You were in his room and you kissed him.’ It was the same thing his mother and father had told her, too. ‘How was my son supposed to know when you were giving him every signal that you wanted him to.’ Her father had told her not to report it; they’d settle this between the two families. Mr. Benson was a producer and with a premier coming up, he didn’t want an investigation getting in the way and ruining his career. Social media was in its infancy in 2008, but Emerson and his parents had found a way to use it against her.

That night, once Alex and Kyle went home and Olivia was fast asleep, she started to reflect on what had gotten her to that point in her life. It happened at a beach-themed party that Emerson’s frat was hosting. She was in a bikini top and denim shorts as were the rest of the girls and she had taken a few shots as had everyone else at the party, but the pictures posted on Facebook the next day portrayed a girl that had gotten completely wasted and was hanging on the entire executive board of the fraternity. For the past two years they had been her friends and she had several pictures with them, but because of what she was wearing and because these were some of the first to be posted on social media, an entirely different narrative was created, one that even her own parents believed.

Serena knew the statistics on rape that were told to her and every other student during freshman orientation, but she had lived a sheltered life before college and she had always imagined that rapists were scary-looking men that attacked girls in the middle of the night when they walked alone on quiet streets. She never could have fathomed that her rapist would be her best friend.

With three weeks left of her junior year, Serena was already looking forward to her final year of college. She had run for president of her sorority and found out she won just hours before the party began. Serena wasn’t a binge drinker by any means, but she drank more than usual that night to celebrate her victory. She went up to Emerson’s room just as she did every time she visited the frat house, but unlike every other night, she kissed him. Kissing led to something a little further that she consented to, but when she said she didn’t want to have sex and wanted to take things slow if they were going to go from best friends to something more, he took that choice away from her. The alcohol she had consumed earlier had left her in an in between stage where she was lucid enough to know what was going on but too drunk to fight him off of her. To make matters worse for her, he held her afterward and suggested she stay the night because, as he said, ‘you never know what kind of maniacs are out there in the middle of the night.’

...but she didn’t stay. She figured whoever was out there probably wasn’t as bad as who was in that frat house. Not knowing what else to do when she got home, she immediately got in the shower to wash off his scent and anything else of his that was left on her. She saw the bruises on her body from when he held her down and, for the first time, it felt real for her. It wasn’t a bad dream or some drunken hallucination. Her rapist wasn’t the boogeyman hiding in the shadows; he was one of the people she loved most in the world.

Kyle had beat him within an inch of his life once he found out what had happened and it was another thing that both families swept under the rug to protect their image. It’ll all go away during summer break, Serena told herself. I’m going to come back here and I’m going to be president of Phi Delt and be who I used to be－who I still am; however, a positive pregnancy test that summer made her come to the realization that her life would never be the same. Her parents and her friends all told her to ‘get rid of that thing’ and she had every intention of getting an abortion until she felt her baby kick. She knew her life would never be the same and she also knew it probably wasn’t the right approach to take, but Serena wanted to right the wrongs of her own mother and she felt as if this baby would give her that opportunity.

“Mommy,” she heard her now twelve-year-old daughter sobbing in the doorway of her bedroom that night, bringing her out of her thought process.

Serena lifted up her comforter and patted the bed with her hand so her daughter could join her. “Come here, Ollie.”

Once she lied down, she felt Olivia cling to her tighter than ever before. “Mom, I heard something you told Uncle Kyle and I wanna know if it’s true or maybe you’re gonna lie to me again. I don’t know. If you want, I can leave. We can call social services tomorrow and－”

“Ollie,” Serena interrupted, completely taken aback. “Ollie, what are you talking about? I never want you to leave me.” One of Serena’s worst nightmares had just come true. She was going to have to tell her and she had no idea how.

“I know you were raped,” Olivia blurted out. “I know you never wanted me and my dad was some monster who hurt you. Do I remind you of him? Why did you even keep me? No mom would want a daughter like me. I learned that in some places abortion is only legal if the pregnancy is because of rape. It’s okay everywhere to abort babies like me. I’m one of those kids that’s...less than. I’m the kind that it’s okay to get rid of.”

Serena wiped her daughter’s tears away and held her close. She still had the slightest hint of the cologne that she wore whenever she wanted to impress Alex, but the LEGO movie PJ shirt and PJ pants she was wearing made Serena feel like she was still her little girl despite how much she was growing up. “Ollie…” she hesitated to give herself more time to think. “Every woman has the right to choose what she does with her own body and I would never judge another woman for the choices she’s made regarding abortion just as I’d like to think no other woman would judge me. With that being said, I had every option in the world available to me and out of all those options, I knew the best choice for me was to keep you and I’ve never regretted that.”

“Do you promise?”

“Hold up your pinky,” Serena told her. Olivia held up her pinky next to Serena’s. They were both wearing heart-shaped pinky rings that Serena had bought a year earlier. “Remember what I said when I got us these matching rings that time we went on our mother/daughter adventure? I pinky promise to always love you and always be there for you. No matter what happens in life or how far away you may go for college or for your career, I’ll always be in your heart and you’ll always be in mine. I know things weren’t easy for us at first and I couldn’t be there for you as much as I wanted to when you were little and I might have made a few mistakes, but there was not a single moment in your entire life that I didn’t love you.”

“I don’t remind you of him when you look at me?”

“No, Ollie, nothing about you reminds me of him. Yes, that had crossed my mind when I was pregnant, but that never happened once you were born,” Serena promised her. “You don’t even look anything like him. You look like your uncle Kyle but never tell him that because you’re beautiful and I don’t want him thinking he’s attractive and getting all arrogant about it.”

“Mom,” Olivia laughed.

Olivia’s laughter was and always would be Serena’s favorite sound. Her daughter had been conceived in a violent act, but everything about her was so innocent. The twelve years since she had given birth to her had been the best years of her life. Twelve years of cuddles, laughter, and being able to love someone so unconditionally. She’d do anything for Olivia and she had already done more than her daughter would ever know. There were custody battles between her and Emerson when Olivia was a baby and he was still trying to fight Serena for the chance to be a part of Olivia’s life. It all happened out of court now that he had a wife and kids, but she and Kyle and the rest of the Benson family were going to do all they could to keep him away from Olivia.

“Ollie, I want you to listen to me, okay?”

“Okay,” Olivia nodded.

“You are, have been, and forever will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. He was there when you were conceived but he didn’t create you. It was my body that created you for nine months, not his. You are nothing like him, Ollie. You are the sweetest girl and being your mom has been the greatest experience and greatest honor of my entire life.”

“Mom?”

“Yes, Olliegator?”

“I don’t think you made any mistakes. I think you’re the best mom in the world. My friends think so, too. Everyone says you’re the cool mom.” Olivia gave her a kiss on the cheek. “And, Mom?”

“Yes, Ollie Koalie?” Serena playfully tapped her daughter’s nose.

“Why do you sleep in Jamie’s shirt instead of the pretty pajamas you used to wear?”

It was yet another question that Serena wasn’t prepared for. “Jamie is my girlfriend now and she and I love each other very much and sometimes, when we aren’t together, I really miss her. If I sleep in her shirt, it’s like she’s here with me.”

“I miss Alex sometimes, too,” Olivia responded. “Do you think she’d like it if I gave her a shirt to wear when she misses me?”

“I think she’d like that very much,” Serena told her even if she wasn’t ready for her little girl to be that serious about her girlfriend. “I have an idea. What about if you and I have a sleepover night?”

“Sleepover night!” Olivia said excitedly. “I’ll make the popcorn and pick a movie for us to watch. Can we watch another scary movie?”

“Anything you want,” Serena smiled at her.

Sleepover night was Olivia’s favorite mother/daughter tradition and, even if she was tired, Serena was willing to do whatever she could to make her daughter feel loved.

When her college-aged self imagined life in her thirties, she imagined she’d be a famous writer living in London or Paris and she’d spend all of her free time travelling the world and treating life like some grand adventure. Motherhood had never even crossed her mind because she felt it would only slow her down. Serena Benson was now just a couple of weeks shy of her 34th birthday and, although her life had turned out nothing like she had planned, the twelve-year-old girl eating handfuls of popcorn on the couch next to her－her daughter, her everything－was the reason why it had turned out better than she could ever imagine.

#WSVU Week #cabenson #alex cabot #olivia benson #law and order svu

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kurt-wagner-official · 1 year

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Post #6: UXM issues 105-108

The X-Men arrive back at the mansion to find Eric the Red waiting for them. They attack, but are interrupted by Firelord, who decimates them even faster than Magneto did. The X-Men have, overall, been doing pretty terribly in all their battles in the last few issues. For all their training and individual skill, they’re still not used to fighting as an effective, cohesive team, certainly not when Scott isn’t there to lead them. We learn that Eric the Red had Alex and Lorna attack Firelord so that Eric could pretend he was the victim of the X-Men’s unprovoked attacks. Meanwhile, Lilandra has reached the Earth’s upper atmosphere when her pursuers finally destroy her ship. She uses the teleport to beam herself down itno Jean’s apartment just in time, but she’s quickly followed by Firelord, who’s come for Xavier. Jean gets her first fight as Phoenix, and she and everyone involved are shocked when she and Firelord are evenly matched. Jean finds herself intoxicated by her own power, an accidental foreshadowing for a story that at this point hasn’t been conceived. She takes him out, and the X-Men arrive, but both are too late to stop Eric from building a star-gate and taking Lilandra through. Jean reactivates it- in front of her parents, who had no idea about the X-Men- and she and the team jump through to save Lilandra and the universe.

In issue 106, Firelord confronts Xavier, who’s visions of Lilandra come back full force and overwhelm him. He flashes back to when his nightmares began and he was being comforted by Moira, who we know by now is his ex-girlfriend with lingering feelings. The flashback shifts to a training session where Logan is losing it on Peter before Scott stops him. The two men almost come to blows once again. Later writers tend to center the Scott-Logan rivalry on Jean, but in the early days it was based on their philosophical differences when it came to leadership and violence. It’s much more interesting this way, and provides development for all three characters rather than regression. Although Logan is coming from a place of berserker rage, he does have a point, as Sean points out- Scott has been treating the new team like the old one. The original X-Men were children who grew up and learned to fight together. The new team is all adults, who’ve been loners most of their lives and are already used to fighting that way. All this has been compounded by Scott’s abandonment issues after most of his family left, and the stress and pain they’re all feeling after John’s death. Suddenly, the original X-Men show up and attack, mocking the new X-Men- and Scott- as failures and poor substitutes. They realize pretty quickly that these are false images, just as Xavier shows up. It turns out the stress of his nightmares has caused the worst parts of Xavier’s subconscious to lash out at his students, a story which will happen many times in years to come. It’s interesting that Xavier talks about this like a separate person. He wants to believe that he’s the person Scott sees him as, a loving father and selfless hero for mutants. And that’s true, but it’s only half the story. Xavier often commits horrible acts, either for self-preservation and for the greater good, and never admits them as a personal fault. This goes back to the formation of the X-Men in the first place- Xavier often feels guilt for bringing children into his war with Erik, but he also tells himself it was the right thing to do for the world. Claremont is the first writer to really touch on these aspects of the character, but later writers will devote their entire runs towards it. Back to the story at hand, though; in the present, Xavier finally realizes that his nightmares have actually been manifestations of a telepathic link with Lilandra, a revelation which allows his mind to finally heal.

Issue 107 is the penultimate chapter of the Phoenix Saga, and the first full appearance of the Shi’ar, the Imperial Guard, and the Starjammers. We begin with the X-Men having just arrived through the star-gate to find themselves under attack by the Guard. The fight has a few good character moments. The first is when Kurt uses his image inducer to appear as a huge monster and frighten Hobgoblin, when he mentions off-hand that he’s been thinking about throwing the image inducer away. It’s a throwaway comment, but it has huge implication’s for Kurt’s character and acceptance of his appearance. The second is when Logan shrugs off a blast from Starbolt and keeps fighting. Claremont’s been playing it very close to the chest with Logan, partially because in the beginning he was his least favorite character, and this is one of the first hints of his healing factor; up until now, his only explicit powers have been his claws and senses. Lilandra tells them how her brother, Emperor D’Ken, is planning to enter the M’kraan Crystal in search of ultimate power, which could threaten all of existence. Just as the X-Men are about to be defeated, the Starjammers show up, and together they defeat the Guard. But just then, the stars align and the Crystal opens.

Issue 108 is the finale to the Phoenix Saga, but even more importantly, it’s the first issue with John Byrne as artist. Dave Cockrum is a good artist, but there’s a strong case to be made that Claremont and Byrne are the best creative team in Marvel history, and it starts here. The issue starts with the X-Men and Starjammers battling the guardians of the M’Kraan Crystal, who are tasked with keeping its power safe. That fails when D’Ken makes contact with the Crystal, pulling all those present into it. As a final defense, the Crystal subjects everyone to their own worst fears. Jean is immune, because her fear is death, and she’s already been there and come back. However, Scott’s fear is of his own power, which is unleashed on the heart of the Crystal, cracking it. Jean feels a connection to the Crystal and starts to become a being of pure energy, taking the form of a bird made of fire. She has a vision and learns that the Crystal contains a universe, and if it’s released, it’ll consume and destroy all of existence. She can enter and repair it, but doing so would convert her completely into energy, erasing her from existence. She needs a human anchor, which she finds by linking her lifeforce to Ororo and to Corsair of the Starjammers, who she scans and reveals to be Scott’s father. Jean fully becomes the Phoenix ands links the entire universe to the souls of herself and the X-Men, restoring the cracks and saving reality. The heroes are then transported home, along with Lilandra. D’Ken has been rendered catatonic by the Crystal, which should leave Lilandra as ruler, but she’s still legally a traitor, so for now she’s banished to Earth.

Some more stray observations from the entire arc; before all the retcons, the Phoenix was not an exterior force, but the natural power of Jean herself. I have mixed feelings about this; the Phoenix Force as a plot device has been overused a lot, but it’s also given us some great stories, especially with Rachel, one of my favorite characters ever. We learn in the M’Kraan Crystal that Kurt’s greatest fear is the mob that attacked him in his first appearance, but with the faces of the X-Men, which I find very heartbreaking. This arc also saw Peter relax more and develop his sense of humor as he starts to develop more clearly into the gentle giant he’ll be for the rest of his history. We saw more cracks appear in Scott’s psyche as he starts to place Jean above the X-Men and doubt the professor. At the only X-Man who hasn’t gotten character development is Logan. If it weren’t for John Byrne coming on board and convincing Claremont otherwise, Logan would have been written out of the series pretty soon after this, which would have changed comic book history. Byrne also helps turn Wolverine into the icon he is, and when Byrne leaves, Logan is too popular to be written out. Claremont makes the best of it by turning Logan into a fascinating and deep character for the next decade and a half. This arc also saw the end of Dave Cockrum, co-creator of some of the most beloved X-Men ever. Cockrum was also the sole creator of the Starjammers, who he convinced Claremont to write into the series in order to premier them by making Corsair Scott’s father. They kinda come out of nowhere and their own series never really takes off, but they’ll be back soon in UXM. The Phoenix Saga on its own is an okay story, but it’s more important for the things it sets up. Juggernaut and Magneto are reintroduced, the Shi’ar appear, and of course Jean becomes the Phoenix. But the plot itself kinda jumps from set piece to set piece, and the ending is good but it comes out of nowhere. There’s some great character development, but that’s true for all of Claremont’s stories. Regardless, it was a very enjoyable read, and things only get better from here.

#wes reads xmen

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kurt-nightcrawler · 4 years

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Together Again

John Allerdyce x Female Reader

Request: Hi! I love your your writing (especially the mother nature ones and crush honestly,,,,, art lmao) and I was wondering if you could write something else for John? Like honestly anything I'm just really starved for pyro content 😂 if you don't want to then uh dw 💜

A/N: if you guys want a blurb about wedding vows or baby making sex let me know!!

Warnings: teen pregnancy, swearing, mentions of sex, and some angst.

Word Count: 8.9k

“Hey, I know it’s been a while, but I miss you… and I know I shouldn’t… but I can’t help myself. I’m really sorry for everything I did. I hurt you, I acted out, I ruined all the relationships I had at the mansion…” His voice faltered as tears fell from his eyes.

“Um, you don’t have to call me back… I’m just really sorry for being such an asshole… You deserved better…”

You jokingly scoffed to yourself.

Typical John, You mused. Never realizing his potential.

“I love you…”

The voice message ended. You felt your eyes watering. Despite it all, you missed him. You missed John so much.

He joined Magento’s army, brotherhood, and left you. You didn’t want to side with either of them, Charles or Erik.

You wanted to run away somewhere, live a small-town life, maybe in Europe or something. You hadn’t really figured out all the details, but you assumed that figuring it out as you went along would suffice. As long as you had John by your side, nothing could get in your way.

But then he wasn’t by your side. And your entire world came crashing down.

You had woken up to an empty bed. Unusual, since John was in it with you the night before.

His clothes were gone, and it felt like he had never been there to start with.

You got yourself out of bed, not even bothering to change out of your pajamas. You wanted to know where he went.

You made it downstairs to the den, where your friends were seated with some staff members.

“Ah, (Y/N),” Xavier said. “You’re awake. Please sit down.”

You sat down on the couch next to Kitty. “What’s going on? Where’s John?”

“Allerdyce left,” Logan stated with a bitter tone.

“Left? What do you mean he left?”

“Magento is forming a new brotherhood of mutants, and he’s planning to attack Worthington industries.”

“Is this about the “cure”?” You asked.

Xavier nodded, “John left to join him.”

No… You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. “That can’t be true. He wouldn’t just leave and not tell anyone. He would have told me if he was thinking about joining forces with Magento!”

“(Y/N),” You looked over at Bobby, “We had an argument in our room late last night. I tried to convince him to stay but—“

“No…” You were shaking. “You’re— you’re lying!” You stood up too quickly and you got a head rush.

“I wish I was—“

You felt like you were going to be sick. You could hear the blood pounding in your ears. Your vision was blurry, and you were sweating.

You ran to the nearest trash can and dunked your head in as you heaved.

Kitty held your hair back and rubbed your back. “Let it out. Let it out, (Y/N)...”

You puked your guts out until you didn’t have the energy to continue. Then, you turned over, moving your head out of the trash and started crying.

No one knew what to do about you— and Magneto trying to kill a bunch of people was a bit more of a pressing issue.

You didn’t want to go to Worthington industries and fight. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted to be left alone.

Plus, with your mutation, the X-Men thought you’d be a good guard for the mansion if anything happened.

It was a few days before anyone came back, and while they were gone you caught a stomach bug. Constantly vomiting, bad cramps, and your chest was extremely sore.

You didn’t know what to do about it, so you kept a trash can nearby and drank lots of water and took some ibuprofen.

When everyone returned, Bobby, Kitty, and Rogue, all ran to hug you, knowing you’d need it.

“I punched him for you,” Bobby whispered. You held him tighter and let silent tears rain down your face as you hugged him.

The three of them told you about the battle, and what happened to everyone, and a new addition to the team— Scott’s younger brother, Alex Summers, who had apparently been friends with one of the brotherhood members, but decided to switch sides and support his brother.

He was in the medical bay downstairs with everyone else, getting checked out.

“What have you been up to?”

You let out a weak laugh, “Nothing much. I’ve been watching tv and puking my guts out the past few days…”

Your friends nodded in sympathy. “You’re probably sick from all the stress…” Rogue commented.

“Yeah, that’s probably it. When it’s a good time, I’ll ask Dr. Grey to give me some medicine other than pain killers.”

“Good idea…”

“I’m gonna go shower,” Rogue said, getting up from the couch.

“Me too! Kitty replied. “Are you going to change Bobby?”

He looked over at her, “Uh, yeah. I will in a little bit.” The girls walked off, satisfied with his answer.

You patted Bobby’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t talk him out of leaving…”

“He’s… He’s stubborn. I don’t think any of us could have convinced him to stay…”

“(Y/N)...” Bobby sighed.

“He never told me about even wanting to leave!” Your words stung in the air like venom.

“He’s not coming back, is he?”

Bobby shook his head, “I don’t think so. After the fight, the brotherhood just kind of wandered off… We have no idea where any of them went—“

“And that includes John…”

There was a pregnant pause before Bobby spoke up.

“He really loves you.”

“Not enough to stay,” You scoffed.

“He just didn’t want you to get hurt… And while he’s dumb as shit, deep down, he meant well…”

“It’s just…” You snuffled your nose. “Three years, B. We were together for three years. He confided in me, and we trusted each other and we were gonna move out to the countryside in France or maybe Denmark…” Your cries interrupted your words, and all Bobby could do was hug you. Trying his best to comfort you.

You weren’t sick with a stomach bug from stress— you were pregnant.

It was simultaneously the best and worst news of your life. Everyone was supportive and kept reminding you, you didn’t have to keep it, you were only 18.

You weren’t sure what you were going to do. John wasn’t there and you had almost no money.

You didn’t want to raise a child alone, but you didn’t want to send them into foster care either.

It was a messy situation, and with each week passing by, your baby grew, reminding you to make a decision.

“I’m going to keep it. I’m going to stay here and raise my baby. It’ll probably be a mutant, so what better place for a mutant child to grow up?”

Everyone was excited for you and your baby. Kitty was excited to “be an aunt”, Rogue was excited, ablet a little nervous, with her no-touch rule, and Bobby just wanted you to be happy.

You found out you were having a boy, and you were so excited, you cried. Jean and Ororo threw a baby shower for you and Bobby, Logan, and Scott helped redo your room so it could function for the baby too.

Everything was going great. So great, in fact, you didn’t think about him most nights.

You still longed for John, and you wanted him there with you, to see your baby at the ultrasound screenings, feel him kick for the first time, and decide on names. But you had to remain strong. With or without John, you needed to be a good mom for your son.

Before and after his birth.

No one was allowed on the roof normally, but you were especially not allowed in your condition.

Yet you went up there anyway, for a moment of quiet and alone time.

You had snuck up to the roof before in your 4 years at Xavier’s. Most times it had been to hide with John. Or just lay and star gaze— your head resting on his chest, and his hands either preoccupied with his flames, or they’d be in your hair.

You placed a hand on your stomach, thinking it would maybe soothe you, but it didn’t really work.

You heard footsteps, and you quickly looked over to see who it was.

“Sorry— I uh, I didn’t think anyone was up here.” He started to leave.

“Alex, no, you’re fine. You can stay.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah! Of course.” He walked over and sat next to you.

“How’ve you been?”

“Good, good.” He nodded. “How have you been?”

“Same as you…” You both awkwardly laughed together.

“That’s good.”

“Mmhmm…”

Alex shifted in his spot awkwardly.

“Are you uh… are you excited about being a mom?”

You laughed. He was so nervous. “Yeah. I mean, I’m nervous as hell, but I have all my friends around, more than willing to help me, and my life is secure and safe.”

Alex nodded, shy and awkward, yet attentive.

“Is… Is Bobby excited about being a dad?”

You were shocked. “Bobby’s gay.”

“I know, but wait— isn’t he— is he—“ Alex was so confused.

“Bobby’s probably my best friend here, his old roommate, um, he’s the father…”

Alex’s face was red as a tomato. “Oh…”

He knew about Bobby’s old roommate, seeing as he took over his spot in his room. He didn’t know much, and he was pretty sure he died or something.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine. You didn’t know…”

“Did he… did he die?”

You rubbed your eyes. “No… he left to join the brotherhood, days before I found out I was pregnant…” Alex listened to your every word. He still didn’t know who this guy was, considering he too, joined the brotherhood during the battle at Worthington industries, but so did a ton of other mutants.

“I don’t really know how to contact him now, and… I don’t really want to at the moment.”

“You don’t have to…” Alex said. “He left, and that’s his problem.”

“Yep… And besides, I’m not alone. I have my friends and family here.”

“Yeah, see! You’re doing great.”

You laughed at Alex’s words. He was cute and dorky. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

You were crying. Crying in pain, in joy, in sorrow, in relief— you were extremely emotional. Your baby was finally born.

Once he got all cleaned up, umbilical cord cut, and was in your arms, laying on your bare chest for some bonding, people started coming in.

At first, it was just Bobby, Kitty, Rogue, and Alex. They had some flowers, balloons, and presents with them.

“We got you some things…” Rogue began.

“Awww... how are you guys?” Kitty interrupted.

“We’re fine. He’s asleep.” You glanced down at your chest.

“He’s so small.” Alex’s eyes were glossy.

“He’s all pink,” Bobby observed.

Kitty hit him on the arm, “He just came out of her vagina!”

You laughed, “He was a C-section.”

“Oh, I was a tumor baby.” Everyone looked at Bobby like he grew a second head. “What?”

Rogue rolled her eyes, “Anyway, we all got you a card and some gifts.” She set them down on the ledge near the visiting chairs and window.

“You guys didn’t have to do that.”

“Most of them are for the little guy,” Alex said.

“Still! He’s gonna be so spoiled…”

Your nurse walked in after you said that. “Alright mama, we gotta get him weighed and everything. Just get stuff for the birth certificate…” She set papers down on your table tray. “If you’re up for it, you can fill stuff out now, or have someone else do it for you… We’ll be back in a little bit.”

“Aww, bye…” Your friends cooed at your son.

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “He’ll be in the nursery, and you can go see him in a little bit. Then if he’s fine, he’ll be back here with me and you guys can hold him.”

“We can’t stay in here forever. This room is too small, plus Scott and his posse wanna come say hi.”

“Right, right.” You took a sip from your water bottle the hospital gave you and looked at the birth certificate and other papers with it.

“So… What’s his name?”

“I don’t know…” You admitted. You hadn’t really thought of a name.

Well, you had, but it was kind of stupid.

You wanted to name him after John, his father because he was one of the few things you had left of John. You also wanted to name him after Bobby or Alex, because they’d been some of your best friends and there for you during your pregnancy.

“Well, you have sixty days to think about it.” Bobby reminded you.

“Yeah,” You yawned. “Oh boy… Sorry— Sorry, I just—“

“Nonsense. You gave birth like what maybe an hour or two ago? Take a nap. You deserve it,” Kitty told you.

“Yeah, we’ll go down to the nursery and see if we can spot him.”

“Okay, you guys sure?”

“Yes, mom,” Alex teased. “We’re sure.”

“Okay, okay.”

“We’ll be back.”

Once the four shuffled out of your room, you quickly examined the birth certificate.

You took a pen and wrote down your name, John’s, and the perfect name for your son.

“Johnathan-Robert Alexander (Y/L/N)! Get back here!” Rogue scolded.

“Sorry Marie, I just saw a cool bird, and it flew away…”

She ruffled his hair, “Your mom is gonna be mad if we don’t eat lunch. I let you play outside for an extra twenty minutes.”

“Oh, okay…”

It had been six years since your son was born. You named him after his dad and your two best guy friends. His nickname was Jr, or Junior, because of his initials.

He took after you mostly, except he had John’s eyes and mutation.

You and your friends all became X-Men and teachers at the mansion, and they all pitched in to help raise Junior, despite you telling them over and over again that they didn’t have to.

It wasn’t easy. You were a young mom— there were some pity looks at the grocery store, people asking if Junior was your little brother, you had no biological family around, despite the X-Men making up for it, and you were single.

Not the end of the world, but sometimes, late at night, you thought about John.

You know he did what he thought was right, somehow. You just wish he didn’t leave. Keeping you safe, what bullshit.

Sometimes you resented him and you were glad he was gone. Sometimes you cried and wished he was there with you.

He would have been a great dad. Nervous, and a little unsure at times, sure, but you know he’d love Junior and do anything for him.

You were grading papers when your phone rang.

You didn’t recognize the number, and you had no idea who’d be calling you at noon in the middle of the week.

It stopped ringing and you didn’t look at it again for the rest of the hour.

You glanced over at your phone as you took a bite from your salad. The caller left a message in your voice box, which was weird since spam calls usually don’t do that.

Maybe it was someone with the wrong number, thinking you were a lost loved one.

Oh god! I better listen to the message!

You picked up your phone and went to your messages.

Your finger didn’t even hover over and hesitate when it hit the play button.

You were crying. Six years later. Six years later, and he finally reached out.

You didn’t know what to do.

What did he want?

You rubbed your temple. What if he’d been in trouble with some bad people? What if he was dying?

You quickly selected his number on your screen.

“Would you like to call? Yes or no?”

Your thumb hovered over yes.

Why didn’t you just push it? What were you so afraid of?

“God…” You groaned. “What am I doing?”

“No! No, no… I have to call him back. Urgh!” You ran a hand through your hair.

“Whooooo…” You hit yes, out your phone up to your ear, and let the phone ring.

You were sweating and your heart was pounding like a drum.

What if he didn’t pick up?

“Hello?”

“Hi, John, it’s me… (Y/N).”

You asked him to come to the mansion, to sit down and talk to you. He seemed nervous over the phone, but he agreed to come and talk.

“He called you? After six years of nothing?” Kitty scoffed in disbelief.

“My number isn’t the same as it was in 2006. Plus who knows what he’s been up too since…” Your words trailed off.

“Why didn’t you ask to meet up at like a Starbucks or the library?” Alex asked.

“I want him to meet Junior.”

“Are you insane?!” Rogue asked, looking over at you.

“The mansion is a place we’re both familiar with, and he doesn’t have to see him right away…”

The three all had unsure looks on their faces.

“It’s my decision. And while you’ve all been more than supportive, I believe he has a right to meet his son. He doesn’t have to be in his life permanently, as much as I’d like that, but he should at least know about him. See him once, maybe.”

“You’re right,” Kitty spoke up. “He deserves to meet his kid. We may not like him or want him around, but Junior is his son. We can’t change that.”

“Kitty’s right. John’s not the greatest, but he always tried when it came to you, and he deserves to meet his son.”

“When is he coming over?”

“Tomorrow at 10.”

“Hey, kiddo.” You slowly opened your son’s door and peaked in. “You ready for bed?”

“Yep!” He popped the p. “I fed George and Rock and Socks.” Those were the fish in his little aquarium. “I brushed my teeth, and I put my pajamas on!”

You gave him a hug, “That’s great, sweetie!”

Junior sat under his covers in his bed, and you sat on the edge. “What’d you do in your classes today?”

“Well, Ms. Monroe read us a book about a farm where the cows found a typewriter and made the farmer change the farm up!”

Wow, starting them young.

“And then she taught us about different types of plants. Did you know broccoli is actually a flower?”

“I did not,” You blinked.

“Does this mean I don’t have to eat it anymore? People don’t eat flowers!”

Oh, Junior thought he was so slick.

“Actually kiddo, some flowers are edible. So, no, you can’t cut out broccoli.”

He frowned, “But I don’t wanna eat flowers!”

“Rules are rules… And besides, you wanna eat healthily and get strong, don’t you?”

“Yeah!” Junior’s face lit up. “So I can beat Gabe when we wrestle!”

Gabe was Scott and Alex’s 10-year-old brother, who also went to Xavier’s school. He was one of the few kids even close to Junior’s age, making them almost best friends.

“See! That’s the spirit! Now, do you want me to read to you before you go to sleep?”

“Hmm… Hmm… Hmm…”

You laughed a little, “I’ll take that as a no.”

Junior yawned, “Hmm…”

“I’ll let you get some sleep, okay?” You got up, bending down to kiss his forehead.

“Okay, mom… Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, sweetie.”

You closed the door behind you as you stepped out. You stood there for a moment to take a breather.

John was going to love him, you weren’t worried about that. You were worried if you still had feelings for him and you were acting irrationally.

No, You decided as you brushed your teeth in your bathroom. I’m not acting irrationally. I’ve wanted to talk to him since he left. I have no anger or sadness left in me, and I just want to catch up.

“(Y/N),” Professor Xavier spoke into your mind. “You’re making part of the mansion shake.”

“Shit!” You dropped your toothbrush into the sink and tried to pace your breath.

“It’s alright, dear.”

You had geological manipulation, and while you had practically mastered it, you still struggled at times.

You rubbed your face with a towel and sighed.

You knew getting any sleep was out the door at that point.

You must have fallen asleep at some point and gotten some sleep because you woke up almost an hour late.

“No, no, no!” You were frantic, slipping on your clothes, trying to brush your hair and somehow rock half-assed bed head and no makeup so you could be presentable in under five minutes.

“Hey, (Y/N), you slept through your alarm—“

“I know, Bobby!” You were running down the hall to get to your classroom.

“So I got Junior dressed and ready for the day—“

You slowed down to stop and open your door, looking at Bobby. “Oh my god. Thank you so much…” You instantly wrapped him into a hug.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay…”

“I’m just so worried… about John and—“

“You’re gonna be fine,” He soothingly rubbed one of his hands on your back.

“I got no sleep last night… I’m anxious about John coming back too. We’re in this together, okay?”

“Yeah, together.”

You stood peeking through a window, waiting for him.

10:00 came, and a rugged, black Jeep pulled through the gates.

You watched him step out of the car— brown leather jacket, facial hair, and he looked slightly more muscular than you’d last seen him. He’d aged, just like you, but not in a bad way, despite the fact he looked a bit tired. But then again, so did you.

You left your hiding spot and went outside to greet him.

“Hey!”

“Hey!” He quickly checked you out, but it didn’t go undetected by you. “Wow, you look— great!”

“You too.” You stood there, face to face, unsure if a hug or a handshake was appropriate.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good, um— well, a lot has changed since you left…”

John nodded awkwardly. “But uh… I could give you a tour. Tell me about what you’ve been up to?”

“Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“So… Bobby, Rogue, Kitty, and I all became teachers...“ John chuckled. “What? Hard to believe?”

“No, no…” He shook his head. “Are Bobby and Rogue still together?”

You laughed, “No way! Bobby came out of the closet and Marie sees some guy from New Orleans, I think his name is Remy? I’m not really sure…

John smiled, “Yeah, he told me— junior year, he didn’t like girls.”

“It hurt, Rogue,” You admitted. “But she understood.”

“Well, that’s good, I suppose…”

“Yeah, yeah.” You wandered down the halls a bit, before speaking up.

“So… what have you been up to?”

“Well, I lived in Genosha for awhile…”

“Magento’s hippie colony?”

“Hey!” He jokingly scoffed. “It’s not a hippie colony!”

“Okay, Mister.”

“Anyway, I uh, I started writing…”

You rose your brows in surprise, “Really? What do you write about?”

“Romance, mostly…” John was flustered. “Gothic romance. One of the people on Genosha knew a guy, he’s a literary agent—“

“Wait, are you…?”

“Yeah, I’m an actual published author. I only have two books out right now, the first one came out in 2008, and the other just last year.”

You were baffled, all this time, and you could have contacted him sooner somehow. “I had no idea… congratulations! That’s amazing!”

“Thank you…”

“Yeah, of course. You do anything else?”

“My mom died two years ago… I went to her funeral… I saw my dad.”

“How’d that go?”

“Not great… but, you know how it is.” You nodded in sympathy. “Anyway, what’s new with you? Besides teaching… Any new X-Men? Are you… seeing anyone…?”

“Scott’s younger brother joined the team, and he has another brother—“

“Mommy! Mom!” You froze. John noticed your shift in demeanor and glanced from you to Junior.

“Junior, you’re supposed to be in class.”

“I was, but then Stacy Brown, the girl with the lizard tongue, threw up, so Stacy got taken to Dr. Grey’s lab and Ororo let us leave early.”

“I know who Stacy Brown is, sweetie. You don’t have to tell me she has a lizard tongue. That’s not very nice to point out people’s mutations.”

Junior frowned and sulked a little, “I’m sorry…”

“I forgive you.”

John’s eyes kept moving between you and Junior. When did you have a kid? He couldn’t be any older than five or six.

“Hi. Who are you?” The kid spoke to him.

“Oh,” John crouched down to equal eye level. “I’m John… What’s your name?”

“My name is John, too! Well, actually Johnathan-Robert, I was named after my dad and one of his closest friends, even though his name isn’t actually Johnathan. Everyone calls me Junior though, cause my initials are JR.”

John was floored. He had a son.

He had a son, and he left him. He left you.

Oh, God…

“Uh, Mr… Mr. John?” Junior asked. “Why are you crying?”

“Uh, Junior, sweetie…” You trailed off. “He’s your dad.”

“Oh! Oh, I’m sorry…”

John wiped his eyes and stood up, “What for?”

“I made you cry… I’m really sorry…”

“It’s okay. They were happy tears.” He rubbed his eyes.

“Oh… Do you wanna see my fish? I have 3 of them in my room, they live in a terrarium!”

“Aquarium,” You corrected him.

“That’s what I said!”

John smiled, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Come on, then!” Junior grabbed his hand and led him upstairs.

John moved back in.

Not with you necessarily, but he wanted to be a part of Junior’s life. He felt like the world’s biggest asshole for leaving days before you found out you were pregnant.

He joined the brotherhood because he felt like you were the only person who saw him as a decent human being. He didn’t agree with everything Xavier said and stood for, and he was tired of people comparing him to Bobby.

He wanted to fight for what he thought was right. He wanted to be able to just do what he wanted without hurting the one person he cared about. Which is why he didn’t tell you he was leaving.

But he knew he hurt you. He knew soon as the battle was over and he claimed one of the small homes on Genosha as his.

He was scared to reach out the first few months. And then he assumed you left Xavier’s and he didn’t know how to contact you from there. He only just got your number because a graduate from Xavier’s moved to Genosha, giving him your number and telling him you hadn’t left.

He didn’t even hesitate to call you. He didn’t even care if you cursed him out on the other line, yelling about how you never wanted to see him again. He just wanted to hear your voice one more time.

What he wouldn’t have done to hold you in his arms again, feel your soft, pink lips against his, your bodies pressed against each other, becoming one.

But he knew he didn’t deserve any of it. He didn’t deserve you. He knew he fucked up.

And what hurt him the most was he thought he was worse than his own father. The one who beat him, called him a monster, sent him away to a foreign country, left in the care of strangers— he thought he was worse because he wasn’t there in the beginning. He wasn’t there for the doctor’s appointments, the birth, or his first steps and words.

You talked to him. Tried to convince him he wasn’t bad, while still holding your ground and making him responsible for just up and leaving.

“I should have gone with you. You know I would have. I would have followed you to the fucking moon if you asked.”

“I know… I just thought keeping you out of all that was the best choice.”

“We were fucking kids John! We really didn’t know much. We still don’t! We’re 23 with a child.”

“You don’t have to forgive me. You don’t have to love me again. I just want to be in my son’s life, please.” He was trying his best to not cry again.

“Most of the time you’re a great guy. I want you in Junior’s life… I just… I don’t know if we can ever go back to how it was before.” I still love you, but I’m not ready to rush into anything…

“Yeah, no, I get that. You have no reason to trust me, and no obligations to date me…”

You sighed, “I want us to be friends. Not for anyone’s sake but for our own… because as much as I should… I don’t hate you.”

“Thank you.” His voice was breaking.

“Friends?”

He nodded, “Yeah, friends.” You wrapped him in your arms in place of a handshake. Neither of you said anything. Nothing needed to be said.

John had been living at the X-Mansion for almost two years. He taught an English class or two and continued to write more gothic romance novels while spending as much time as he could with Junior.

He became friends with Bobby, Kitty, and Rogue again. He became friends with Alex. He was friends with you, despite wanting more.

But he knew he didn’t deserve it, and he was just glad to get what he could.

“So… what do they like, do in Romania?”

You looked up from your lesson plan for the week and gave John a funny look.

“What do they do in Romania? Aren’t you the one writing about vampires? You should know.”

“Yeah, but you’re a history teacher!”

“I teach kids about the civil war, Marie Antionette, and the Han dynasty.”

You sometimes worked together in the library or in one of your rooms or classrooms. John— writing the next chapter of his novel— and you, usually doing lesson plans or grading tests.

“What are you writing about anyway?” You turned in your chair to watch John scribble words down in his notebook. He preferred to write down on paper first, then type it up.

“Well, she’s making Von take her on a date since she’s been living with him for a month and he confessed he liked her.”

“Isn’t Von a vampire?”

John nodded, “Half. Anyway, he’s gonna like, take her stargazing on the rooftop. I don’t know what else they’re gonna do after that.”

You pondered for a moment, “We used to do that all the time…”

“Yeah, um…”

You laughed a little, teasing him. “Do you base all your stories on our romantic endeavors?”

“Not all of them!” He defended.

“That so?” John hummed in response. “What has the great womanizer, St. John Allerdyce, been up to in his love life the last few years?”

“Not much,” He admitted. “I went on a few dates, a handful of hookups, but nothing really worked out…” He tried to shake the feeling of longing for you off, “What about you?”

“Same as you. Not much luck, especially with being a young mom, and raising a kid with two of her best friends who are guys, it tends to… scare people away…”

John swung his legs to the side of the bed, about to get up.

“They’re pussies,” He said while looking at you.

You nodded, not noticing he got up, “Yeah, besides I’m busy…”

Your train of thought was forgotten as John’s eyes looked into yours. You weren’t speaking.

Your eyes glanced down at his lips. They were soft and pink.

You cleared your throat, trying to distract yourself from your thoughts, unaware John’s brain was on the same page as yours.

He unexpectedly pressed his lips against yours. You were wide-eyed with shock as he did so. You weren’t expecting that.

But you were glad it happened.

He broke away too quickly for your liking. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—“

“Do it again.”

“What?” John almost thought you were kidding.

“Kiss me again, Sinjin.”

And so he did. His lips collided with yours, your mouths moving in sync.

His weight and force caused you to fall back in your chair, with John straddling your waist. Your hands were tugging on the hair at the nape of his neck, causing him to moan a little against your mouth. His hands were roaming up and down your body.

You partially ground against his crotch, causing him to break his lips away from yours and curse.

It didn’t last long, as he went back to kissing your lips like a horny teenager, pulling your shirt up off of you.

“Wait, wait, stop.” John froze, looking you directly in the eyes, his face barely two inches away from yours.

“Is everything alright?”

“Buy me dinner first, before you undress me, okay?”

You didn’t want to get carried away. You wanted a clear mind before you slept with him again. Kissing and going on a few dates and whatever else you were doing was enough at that moment.

He nodded, in total awe of you— The small details of your face one could only see if they were this close— “Tomorrow at 7. Does that work for you?”

“That’s perfect.”

“So I need you— if you can’t that’s fine! You have lives of your own— but I kind of need someone to watch Junior for the night.”

You really hated asking people to babysit, but it was Kitty and Rogue. They wouldn’t care.

“Not that we won’t do it,” Kitty said. “But why can’t John watch him?”

“Well—“

suddenly, Bobby burst through the door, screaming the girls’ names.

“KATHERINE! ANNA MARIE! I HAVE HUGE NEWS!”

“What is it?”

“John—“ He looked at you, and then stopped his sentence.

“Oh… I’m assuming you told them.”

“Told us what?” Rogue asked.

“John and (Y/N) are going on a date.”

“Finally,” Kitty let out.

You were confused, “What do you mean, finally?”

“Are— are you serious?” Bobby asked in disbelief.

You nodded.

“You two are so in love, it’s sickening sometimes!” Rogue scoffed.

“We are not!” You knew that wasn’t true. You obviously still had feelings and so did he, but love? You weren’t sure if it was that.

“Please, he never stopped loving you, and you never stopped loving him.”

“Bobby…”

“(Y/N)...”

You groaned.

“Look, I’m not gonna push you into saying the L-word anytime soon, but the guy writes romance novels for fuck’s sake! You’re gonna have a great time no matter what.”

Yeah, you thought to yourself as John drove down the crowded New York roads.

We’re gonna have a great time no matter what.

You went to some restaurant that just opened. It wasn’t too fancy or too casual, but since it was new, you still needed a reservation.

After dinner, you walked around the city streets, just catching up, looking at shops and apartment buildings and all the people.

It almost felt like you were teenagers again.

Holding hands, watching the sunset…

John pulled out his phone to snap a few pictures. You decided to try and photobomb, making dumb faces and peeking your head into view of the camera.

John shifted his hands and arms so you were the camera’s main focus.

The way the sun's rays reflected through the lens behind you making you glow, (John already thought you were most of the time), your goofy smile— he took a picture, but to him, it looked more like a renaissance painting.

He glanced away from his phone to see you without a lense.

You still looked like a heavenly being to him. You always did— strong, beautiful, intelligent, witty, and you were an amazing mom.

He didn’t have anyone to use as a base for “mom skills”, but he didn’t need that to know you were amazing. Not just with Junior, but all the young kids at the mansion.

Of course, there were times when you faltered or felt like you weren’t good enough, times where you would make the mansion shake on accident, but everyone had weak points.

John didn’t see you as any lesser for them, he knew your life wasn’t easy. Even if he had never left, it wouldn’t have been perfect.

But he couldn’t dwell on the past forever, despite how much he wanted to at some of his weaker moments.

“Whatcha looking at?”

He blinked. “You… The sunset… You look like an angel.”

You nervously laughed, “Stop it.”

John put his phone away and got back to your side.

“I’m serious, you’re beautiful…”

Your gaze fell down to your feet, not unnoticed by John.

“Hey,” He cupped your face with his hand, forcing your gaze on him. “It’s okay if you don’t believe me right now, but you will one day… I promise you that.”

His hand faltered and you hugged him.

“God, you’re so nice to me.”

“I don’t deserve you.” He plainly stated.

You narrowed your eyes at him and pointed a finger. “No self-deprecating talk!”

John laughed at your attitude shift. It was cute. “Alright, but that means nothing from you either.“

“Fine.”

John kissed the top of your head, causing you to smile like a madman. It made his heart flutter a bit.

Your first date was almost two years ago. It seemed so long ago, yet almost like it was yesterday.

You woke up to the sound of your alarm.

You immediately woke up, but John just groaned and stirred in his sleep a little.

He had an arm wrapped around you, so you had to wiggle your way out of bed. “Come on, sleepyhead…”

John groaned some more, his grip on you just got tighter.

“If you don’t let me out, I’ll pee on the bed.”

John’s eyes shot open, and you smirked to yourself, having been victorious.

“That would be hot.”

You gagged as you walked into your bathroom. “Gross!”

John followed you, “You know I’m just joking.”

You shook your head, a smile evident on your face. “I know, I know.”

You turned the sink on and began washing your face. John used the empty space in the mirror to brush out his bed head.

You caught him starring at you a few times as you both went through your morning routines.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Nothing.” He kissed the crook of your neck. “Today’s just gonna be a good day. That’s all. I can feel it.”

You let his words sink in for a moment.

“Yeah, today’s gonna be a good day.”

That’s when John knew. His instinct, gut, or whatever you call it, knew this was it.

He casually walked out of the bathroom and grabbed a small box. You were preoccupied with applying some makeup.

He came back in, on one knee in the doorway.

You looked over at him, nearly dropping your brush on to the floor, your jaw slack.

“(Y/N), I love you. And this isn’t some big romantic gesture, but love isn’t only seen in big romantic gestures. It’s the small things, the intimate moments. I did have something planned, but I really couldn’t wait. I love you… and…” John’s words trailed off. He was starting to cry. Your eyes were watering too.

“Will you marry me?”

You nodded, “Yes, yes!”

John got up and kissed you. Then he slipped the ring on your finger.

You admired it, “Wow… it’s beautiful…”

“So are you.”

You kissed him without missing a beat.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

John didn’t hesitate with that.

People cheered and some jokingly wolf-whistled. Junior made a sour face.

Your wedding was magical, and despite having to say hello to every guest and dance at least twice, you were happy. So happy.

John was happy too. He had a big smile on his face the whole time, no matter what and he was so excited to call himself your husband.

Some people teased him and others were very surprised, claiming John was really out of his element.

You knew better though. You both just loved each other, and after John spilled his guts on how much he loved you in front of everyone at the altar, he couldn’t care less who saw him like this.

You just had a quick breakfast before you had to teach your first-hour class. You didn’t think anything of it as you were running a bit behind.

You were fine though, and your schedule was going smoothly, your class was taking notes as you talked about the French Revolution. Students were asking questions when needed, and most of them were paying attention.

Suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea hit you. You tried to keep it down, but you couldn’t, and immediately darted to the trash can near your desk.

Your students were murmuring among each other, unsure of what to do.

“Um… Ms. (Y/L/N)? Are you okay?”

You used a tissue to wipe your mouth and applied some hand sanitizer.

“Yeah— um—“

You couldn’t come up with an excuse though, for one of your students opened a portal and grabbed John and another teacher.

John rushed to your aid, asking if you were alright.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

“I’m gonna take you to Dr. Grey. Piotr, can you watch her class for a little bit?”

“Yeah, sure.” He replied, a little unsure and worried about your well being.

John helped you out of your classroom, despite you insisting you didn’t need help.

Thankfully Jean was in the lab, so you didn’t have to go looking for her.

As you explained what happened, John sat at your side like a nervous puppy.

“Babe, I’m not going to die. I probably just ate something bad and my stomach didn’t agree with it.”

“Food poisoning is really serious—“

“It’s probably not that.”

“You rarely get sick aside from the common cold or seasonal allergies.” He reminded you.

Jean smiled, at how much John was worrying. It showed he cared.

“Have you had anything else happen to you lately?”

“I’ve been a lot more tired, and more headaches, but that’s just aging, right?”

“Probably. I’m gonna have you fill this out though, just in case.” Jean handed you a clipboard with a questionnaire attached.

You read each question, leaving a checkmark or an x, depending on what it was. You handed it back to Jean and she read it over.

“I’m gonna have you pee in a cup, just so I can test it for a few things.” Jean opened a plastic wrapping and handed you a small plastic cup.

“Bathroom’s on the right.”

You came back quickly, informing Jean you left the cup in the bathroom.

“I’ll go get that… and I should be back with your results soon.”

She walked out, leaving you and John alone.

You checked your phone, seeing some missed texts from Kitty.

KITTY: Hey

KITTY: heard you puked in class today :( you alright?

(Y/N): yeah, I’m in Jean’s lab. She’s testing my urine for something…

KITTY: oh my god! Are you pregnant?

(Y/N): What!!?

KITTY: that’s usually why they test urine. Although, when I’d go to the dr. they’d make me pee to see if there was like protein in my pee or something

KITTY: idk

(Y/N): There’s no way!

(Y/N): Well...

KITTY: *side eye emoji* didn’t you tell me your period was a little late?

(Y/N): Yeah, but that’s normal!

KITTY: You’re almost 30

(Y/N): So? Your period isn’t always regular, and we’re the same age

KITTY: I’m a lesbian. You have a husband.

You turned your phone off. What if you were pregnant again?

Obviously, you were in a good place, you would be fine having a kid. (Plus, Junior had been asking for a sibling awhile back.) You just hadn’t really discussed it with John.

Why mess up a good thing? You, know? You didn’t need another child, but you wouldn’t be disappointed.

Oh god! You were definitely pregnant and what if John didn’t want more kids? What if your body couldn’t handle carrying another baby? What if—

“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.” John’s hands held yours, trying to keep them from moving. “Are you alright? Do you feel like you’re gonna faint?”

“I might be pregnant…” You whispered. You don’t know why you whispered it.

“Are you sure?”

“My period is late— but even after five different kinds of birth controls it’s never really been on a regular schedule. Me throwing up could have been morning sickness—“

John couldn’t hide the smile on his face. You were rambling about how you were probably pregnant and how worried you were. He just held your hand, and calmly said your name.

“(Y/N), you’re gonna be okay. You’re an amazing mom, and I’m gonna be with you through all of it this time.”

You nodded, not trusting your voice.

Jean came back with your results.

“So?”

“You must have eaten something bad, or your period is coming up. Some women vomit during PMS.”

“Am I pregnant?” You asked.

“No, why? We’re you expecting that?”

“Oh, no. We’re not— I just thought— cause you made me pee—“

Jean shrugged as she typed on her computer. “I did test for that. But no baby…”

You nodded, asking what to do next.

John sat, lost in his thoughts. He was so excited at the thought of you being pregnant.

Do I want another kid?...

When Junior had asked for a sibling not too long ago, John said, “No way.”

Now?

“Just drink plenty of water, and bed rest. I’ll get someone to cover your classes for tomorrow after we disinfect your room. If you don’t puke or have any new symptoms within the next 48 hours, you can go back to teaching.”

“Make sure she stays in her room, okay?” Jean said to John.

“Yes, ma’am.” He half-joked.

John led you up to your shared room, shutting the door behind him.

“Lay on the bed. I’ll get you some pajamas, and then some water. How do you feel? Do you need more blankets? I’m sure I can get Bobby to cover my next class, I can cuddle with you if you’d like.”

“No, Sinjin, I’m fine, really… besides, I can make another lesson plan, or finish my book—“

“Oh no, you don’t. Jean said you needed to rest. So, that’s exactly what you’re gonna do. Even if that means I have to sit and watch you.”

“Creep,” You teased as you changed into your pajamas.

“Edward did it with Bella,” He argued, while quickly texting Bobby, asking to sub for him.

“Didn’t you say Stephanie Myer was an ‘embarrassment in the gothic romance community?’”

“Besides the point…”

“Okay, Edward Cullen.”

John removed his shoes and socks and joined you in bed, “Shut up.”

“Make me,” You teased, eyes bearing into his. John kissed your forehead.

“I would, but you puked up breakfast not even three hours ago.”

You frowned, “Then don’t cuddle with me! You’ll get sick.”

“My body is like a furnace. Most diseases don’t last in me.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

John shrugged as he draped an arm over you, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.

You shifted a little, trying to get comfortable, before settling on a position.

“Hey, Sinjin…”

“Yeah?”

“What if I was pregnant?”

John’s hand stopped.

“We thought I was for a minute, and you looked excited, despite the fact I was freaking out… Do you want another kid?”

John flinched a little at your sharp question. “I mean… it’s your body. It’s up to you.”

“No, no, we’re in this together. Do you want another kid?”

“Honestly?... Yeah, I do. I know I was on the fence when Junior first asked, but that was months ago… I want to experience everything, and be there for you this time… do you want to have another kid?

“Uh-huh.”

“Okay… Wait— when can we— Jean said 48 hours without puking—“

You glanced over at the clock, “10:43 AM. This Wednesday.”

“Right. At exactly 10:43 AM, on Wednesday, we can have sex… Oh my god.” John laughed, somewhat disappointed and embarrassed by his words.

“What?”

“We’re like an old couple, scheduling when to have sex.”

You laughed, “Plenty of people schedule sex— remember when we were younger? We’d plan around when Bobby and Kitty wouldn’t be around so one of our rooms were empty—“

“Okay, okay… I’ll go to the store and get some viagra.”

You snorted, “Don’t think you’ll be needing that big guy.”

“You’re right. I’ll just get some extra large condoms.” John joked.

“First off, that defeats the whole point of baby-making, and second, you need small at best.”

“You wound me, woman!”

You smiled stuck your tongue out like a child.

When you were in better health, you and John didn’t waste any time— You went at it like rabbits.

You thought you’d get pregnant on the first try, seeing as you weren’t even trying for Junior, but that wasn’t the case. You had to try a few more times before getting there.

Test after test, until finally, one said positive.

You and John were so excited, not a dry eye between the two of you.

“We’re having a baby!” John held you close, his hands down at your stomach.

“I’m not showing yet, it’s too early…”

“I know, I know,” He sheepishly admitted. “I’m just excited.”

“We can’t tell anyone until the second trimester, or well, we’re not supposed to, because it’s such early development right now that something could go wrong, usually it doesn’t— but that’s what all the doctors and books and mommy blogs online say.”

John nodded, he’d read a few books, and some articles online, but he knew you’d already been to doctors before and just knew more.

“When do you think we should tell Junior?”

“How are we gonna tell Junior,” You corrected him.

“He wanted a sibling. This should be easy.”

You squinted your eyes at him. “If we start to struggle how to explain this to him, it’s all on you buddy.”

“Alright.”

John knew what was going to happen. He knew what a cesarean section was. He even watched videos, about it.

But boy, oh, boy, seeing it in person was so much different.

Your doctor let him cut the umbilical cord, which he was super nervous about. He was anxious about everything.

Was your daughter safe? What if you woke up before you got stitched up? What if you had a sudden health complication?

His mind raced as he watched your baby get cleaned off and checked on.

“Is she okay?”

“So far. We’re going to take her to the nursery to get her weighed and measured and move her mom out of the delivery room. Stay with her, when the anesthesia wears off she’s gonna be pretty sore.”

John didn’t want to leave your baby girl, but he wasn’t going to disobey your doctor.

You made it into your recovery room without any trouble, and after a few minutes, your nurse left you and John alone, saying he could visit your daughter in the nursery soon.

“I’ll wait until our friends and family get here.”

Your nurse nodded and reminded you to press the button on the side of your bed if you needed anything, before heading out the door.

You named your daughter after your other two best friends, Katherine Anne Allerdyce. John wanted to name her after you, but you argued what if you had another girl?

He got all flustered and nervous at the idea, which you found cute.

“Do you wanna hold her?” He asked Junior.

He nodded and was told to sit down in one of the chairs.

“She’s so… tiny…” He emphasized.

Everyone laughed or chuckled at Junior’s demeanor.

“She was born a few hours ago,” You reminded him.

“Oh… Yeah.”

Everyone else took turns holding her and cooing and doting over Kat.

“Aww, hello… Hello Kat… Aww, you’re so cute.”

“Bobby she’s asleep.”

“Hush let me hold my niece.”

John frowned. “She’s my child and I’ve held her less than you have.”

You rolled your eyes, “Babe, let Bobby dote.”

“Fine…”

Kitty pulled out her phone, “Let me get a picture of you guys! Bobby, John, and Katherine. I think it’ll be cute!”

“Fine, fine.” John rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.

He scooted closer to Bobby and grinned up at Kitty’s phone as the flash went off.

“Ow!” Bobby winced. “Did you have to use flash?”

“Aww… you blinked.” She pouted.

“I was blinded!”

“Hush it, you big baby. Let me take another one.” Kitty positioned her phone to take another picture again.

“No flash this time!”

“It’s not on!”

John smiled again and so did Bobby. Kitty took her photo and then admired her work.

“Aww, you guys look so cute together!”

She handed her phone to John so he and Bobby could look at the picture.

John smiled.

He looked tired, normal with age, raising a kid, and being up for hours while his wife gave birth.

But he was happy.

His life wasn’t how he thought it would be, but unplanned plans are usually the best ones.

He had a family— not just you, Junior, and Kat— but Bobby, Kitty, Alex, Rogue, and everyone else at the mansion. He had people to fall back on and that supported and loved him.

He looked over at you, talking to Alex while sipping from the straw of your hospital cup/water bottle they gave you. His heart yearned. Despite how tired you were, and how you couldn’t even walk at the moment due to giving birth not even 24 hours ago, John still thought you were the most beautiful and brave person he knew. His writing could never compare or encapture your character, no matter how hard he tried.

But it didn’t matter.

You both had what you never knew you wanted.

And you were happy.

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