#we only take it off for like. professional shit ie work n such

[companionwolf]

the beast awoos at you very cutesy :3c

#wolf barking #dog person stuff #pup hood my friend pup hood #this one is mr s leather neoprene! its a little snug and smelly bc neoprene but its great otherwise #no rebloggy the dogy #also lol say hi to pt's 24/7 wear collar #we only take it off for like. professional shit ie work n such #its uh . biothane + special metal so it can go in the shower #anyway i need to descent this hood asap or i Will die <- he has a sensitive sniffer

[tohruhondaismydaughter]

Just had some headcanons about Machi pop into my head that I wanted to share with yall. So we know this poor girl struggles with "perfect"/neat things right? Well I was thinking about some healthy coping mechanisms she could develop to replace the whole 'breaking property/living in a dump' thing & here's what I got so far -

1. She always tries to wear odd socks (unless she's invited somewhere nice)

2. Ayame & Mine help her find cool asymmetrical stuff to wear, how to make clashing colours/patterns work for her & teach her how to sew up her old clothes in a more "punk rock" way (after Yuki & Kakeru explain some of her issues with perfection)

3. Tohru gently points out that she dosn't have to tie her laces the same way on both shoes if she dosn't want to

4. Haru & Rin (awkwardly on her part) teach her the power of acessorising (ie. wearing only one earing, putting on an uneven amount of bracelets/rings/necklaces, adding paper clips of different sizes & colours to your clothing & Machi later ends up adding stuff like buttons to her outfits/belongings as well which Haru & Rin are tottally surppotive of despite thier difference in style) & hair/makeup which (thanks to Yuki's advice) they make sure to keep slightly messy (Kimi laughed at it at first until Momiji made her feel bad after he told her that Machi had gone to the bathroon & wiped off all the make up & undid the hair style so Kimi bought her some limited edition Mogeta merch, after asking for Yuki's advice, in apolgey & started referring to Machi's new hair/makeup style as "punk chic" whenever anyone tried to mock Machi about her new look)

5. her & Momiji go on a crazy tie dying adventure (much to Hatori's grumbling & Mayu's amusement)

6. Kormaki gets her into collecting second hand fridge magnets which she then later uses in her work (my version of post-serise Machi is an artist) once the magnetism finally wears off

7. Kagura teaches her how to fix up old plushies (Machi likes creating Mogeta inspired characters) & gives Machi all her old cat ones to work on (Machi descides not to ask why Yuki's cousin was seemingly once obssesd with orange cats because she looks rather embrassed & a little sad when she hands over her collection)

8. Kyo reluctantly teaches her how to cook a few simple dishes (Tohru comes over as well & Yuki insists her food is better but Machi prefers Kyo's simple style of presentation so it's eventually descided that Kyo & her will do the cooking & Tohru & Yuki will deal with the cleaning which Yuki agrees to becuse cleaning is still difficult for Machi but Kyo says it's actually because no matter how much Tohru tried to train him rat boy knows he would never be able to do anything in the kitchen but burn water)

9. Kakeru teaches her the skills of 'excessive badge & sticker decorating' as well as giving eachother fake tattoos (Kisa congratulates Hiro on not saying anything rude to Yuki's girlfriend about her appreance after they first meet her)

10. Cuts her hair short (she delibretly makes it very choppy) once she enters university, where the rules are less strict about your apprence (at least it is if your at art college), & she also regulary wears diffrent coloured wigs (her favourites being a dark red one & a rainbow one) whenever she wants to temporarily change her appearance (beacuse she didn't want to commit to just one look, still wanted to have the ability to quickly "become invisable" again & she heard from Kimi that exsseive hair die-ing could permantly destroy her hair & scalp) it takes her until she's 30 to try out shaving all her hair off (she worried she'd look sick/crazy or not feminine enough) & everyone's really surppotive (though Kimi dose cry a bit, Rin & Haru aren't there when her hair is being shaved & Kyo is a slightly confused as he'd always thought women liked having longer hair then guys) especially Ritsu (who's growing out thier hair again) & they all throw her a big party (Haru & Rin are there for the party bit just not the hair removal bit because it brought up some bad memories) where Kakeru films it & posts it (with Machi's permission) & they give her cut off hair to a charity chosen by all thier followers (despite her disbelief Machi has manged to gain a small group of loyal fans from all her art stuff & her apprences on her loved ones social media), Kakeru also later uploads a video where they help Machi rainbow dye her buzz cut, (she later explores many diffrent types of buzz cut patterns such as flowers & geometric shapes but, at Kimi's insistence, gets them done by a professional)

11. She recycles & D.Y.I's like crazy (Momiji started singing Do Re Mi from The Sound Of Music after she told him that her new dress was actually made from curtains & Yuki cried when she gave him a little rat plushie made from felt, after he came clean to her about the curse)

12. She almost never wears an apron while working on her art because she likes getting messy

13. When her & Yuki go out to eat she loves things like fondoe (both the chocolate & cheese kind), eat N mess & is genreually just a fan of finger food & it becomes a tradition between her & Yuki (& later Mutsuki) to go on a stroll through the park after thier meal & (if it's autumn) look for piles of leaves to jump in (Machi & Yuki also like playing a game where they try to look for the weirdest looking leaf to give eachother & whoever wins gets to pick what they'll eat for dinner that evening & the looser has to cook it, Mutsuki is the "impartial" judge)

14. Machi is amazing at scrapbooking & collarge making (Tohru is more of a dream journal kind of girl)

15. When it's Summer her, Yuki & Mutsuki go down to the beach to see who can find the weirdest looking rocks (the less impressive ones often get used in Machi's art work, the coolest ones Mutsuki gets to keep & any that are too perfect get tossed back in the ocean & Mutsuki likes to score the splashes they make on how big/loud they are)

16. She loves helping Yuki out with gardening for lots of reasons (it's therapeutic & she loves seeing Yuki happy) but she can't deny it's also just fun getting muddy

17. Machi, thanks to Kakeru, devolpes a love of paint ball (but instead of using guns they just throw the paint at eachother like in 10 Things I Hate About You because apparently the gun pellets actually hurt) & will bring it up as an activity idea to her loved ones any chanse she gets

18. Decorates as much of her flat (& later her home with Yuki & Mutsuki) with Mogeta merchandise, random things she collects & her own art work as a big fuck you to her bitch "you have 0 personality/hobbies or talents" of a mother

19. Kisa (happily) & Hiro (reluctantly) introduce Machi to the magic of glitter

20. Machi & Rin eventually become proper friends due to bonding over being abounded by their asshole parents & one of the things they like to do together is work on thier seprete art peices while listening to music (Machi dosn't do any of her "aggressive" art, like plate smashing, around Rin though thanks to Yuki & Haru warnings)

21. When stuff gets to be too much & none of thier other coping strategies are working (like watching Mogeta stoned- which Kisa, Tohru & Momiji do not partake in) Machi & Haru bond by going to rage rooms together to destroy shit & scream (Haru obviously dosn't want Rin around for any of that though so Momiji, Tohru, Kagura or Hana will often take the opportunity to hang out with her, one time Yuki offered & it wasn't bad but it was definitely awkward as they had never really hung out without Haru before & Haru teases her for ages afterwards about her ending up liking Yuki once she actually spent some time with him which, like the precious tsundere she is, Rin will forever deny)

22. (I actually made a whole seprete post about this ages ago but now it seems to have vanished so in case other Machi fans are unable to find it l'll add it here) on the days that it's supposed to snow but dosn't Yuki takes her (& later Mutsuki) skating so she can enjoy scratching up the perfectly smooth ice (they would have gone on double dates with Tohru & Kyo if Tohru wasn't freaked out at the idea of having blades on her shoes & Kyo hadn't claimed to "not trust" ice, he's dislike comes from all the times Kagura had forced him to ice skate with her on the lake near Kazuma's place in the winter when they were kids, so they would instead go with Haru & Momiji - they had thought about going with Haru x Rin & Kakeru x Kormaki once but he proudly revealed that he'd been banned from thier local ice rink years ago for trying "perfectly safe" Olympic level stunts in he's attempt to recreate one of he's favriote episodes of Power Rangers, much to he's fiancee's anger, & Machi reminded Yuki that though Haru & Kakeru were fine with eachother Rin isn't reall able to stand Kakeru for longer than 5 minuites)

#fruits basket #headcanons #machi #machi kuragi #machi headcanons #machi kuragi headcanons #fruits basket headcanons

[psycho-slytherin]

Strangers ch. 41

Two weeks after finding the photo, you’re not doing well. Yoongi’s determined to change that. 

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Actress!Reader

Word count: 2.3k

Genre: fluff, angst, idk anymore?

|mlist|

<–– Prev   Next ––>

“Y/n, you do have to go to class.”

You gulp. You’ve been dreading this call- and Yoongi is staring at you. “I know, Mom.”

Your mom sighs over the phone. “Are you planning on dropping out? You’re still registered for classes.”

You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, refusing to look at the other person in the room. Yoongi’s sitting quietly, waiting for you to finish your call. “I-I’m not dropping out!”

“When I agreed to let you go to Seoul Arts, it was with the promise that you’d keep up your grades and partially support yourself with a job.” Your mother’s tone is sharp. “And, Y/n. Not or.”

You bite your lip, your hand trembling to the point where you almost lose your grip on the phone. “I’m acting- I’m making money.”

“For now. How far can you go without a degree?”

You inhale sharply. You can feel that familiar tightness spread throughout your chest. “Yes, Mom.”

“Oh, here you go again. Don’t ‘yes, mom’ me. I can’t fix your life for you, Y/n. You’re lucky I’m friends with the dean’s friend’s boyfriend’s sister. How else would I have found out you haven’t been to class in almost two weeks? It’s not like you would talk to me about these things.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“I’m serious, Y/n. I even tried calling Lisa to ask what was up with you, since you never answer my calls.”

Lisa. Your throat feels tight, and suddenly you can’t breathe. Luckily, your mother doesn’t notice your silence:

“I mean, she didn’t answer, but still! What about your exams, Y/n? You’re going to have to repeat the year! You might as well just come home.”

Your eye twitches at her words. “No.” You’re not going to go home– not now, not ever, and especially not while Lisa’s still missing. 

You hear her click her tongue over the phone. It’s a sound more familiar to you than your own name. “Can you at least tell me why you haven’t been going to classes?”

You look up and meet Yoongi’s eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“I’m sure it is,” your mom says huffily, and you fight the sudden urge to hang up. “Well, that won’t do. I’m cutting you off.”

You blink hard, your throat dry. “What?” Surely it’s an empty threat– even with Moon Over the Sea, you can’t afford rent and the Seoul Arts tuition on your own. Your mother has to know that. “Mom, you can’t–” Yoongi must hear the anxiety in your voice because he catches your eye, asking a silent question.

“I can and I will, Y/n. Because this is what you wanted, right? You’ve done nothing but push me away.”

You can feel that yes, Mom on the tip of your tongue. And yet… “Because you were suffocating me!” You explode. “God, you’re even cutting me off just to control me, ‘cause you want me to crawl back home and admit I need you. You know what, Mom? You have the worst timing. Cut me off– maybe I will drop out, but I’m not coming home. I have bigger things to worry about.”

“Y/n L/n–” But you don’t hear the rest of her words, because you hang up with as much force as you can deliver to a touchscreen. Despite the blanket wrapped around your shoulders and your space heater on full blast, you feel the cold in your bones, and the muted panic that accompanies the familiar sensation.

“Y/n?” Yoongi says gently, sitting on the edge of your bed.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you whisper, curling up on your pillows.

“I wasn’t going to ask. I was just hoping you’d eat something.” He motions at the takeout he brought over hours ago, and which you’ve left untouched. You’ve barely moved at all, and if you weren’t such good friends with Yoongi you’d feel embarrassed for him to see you in this state.

Despite the fact that you’ve eaten nothing today, your stomach churns at the thought of putting the food in your mouth. “I’m not hungry.” 

Yoongi sighs, pursing his lips. “Okay. Want to go outside?”

“It’s late.”

“That’s never stopped us.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“You haven’t been in the mood for more than a week.”

“I-” your head drops to rest on your knees. “She’s still missing.”

“I know, Y/n.” Yoongi reaches out gently, as though you’re a frightened deer, and begins rubbing calming circles on your back. “But living like this… you’re not helping anyone.”

You feel tears filling your eyes. “I’m not helping anyways. She’s missing, and I’m useless.”

“Thanks for bringing this in, Miss L/n,” Detective Kang said, sliding Lisa’s laptop into a labelled evidence bag. You felt a rush of guilt. Did it count as obstruction of justice when you were only trying to find out what happened? Yoongi had copied the photo to his phone- was that breaking the law? “So, has Lisa tried to contact you again?”

You shook your head. “Radio silence. I’ve tried calling and texting dozens of times– nothing’s getting through.”

“Okay. Please let me know if you hear anything from her. Adults aren’t considered as high-priority as missing minors, but…” Detective Kang stared intensely into the distance. “We’ll find your friend.” He turned away with the laptop under his arm, and at that moment you spoke up.

“There’s something else.” What was the redheaded girl who pushed you into the river doing on Lisa’s laptop? If she knew Lisa was connected to you… it meant that your best friend could be in real trouble.

Detective Kang was eyeing you curiously. “Go ahead.”

But if it turned out to be nothing… you would be in trouble for messing with her computer. And– shit– so would Yoongi. “Nothing. Slip of the tongue.”

“Alright. Ms. L/n, I’m sure Lisa is safe. The most important thing is that you leave this to the professionals.”

And now, two weeks after turning the laptop in, there’s been no word from Lisa or Detective Kang. After unlocking Lisa’s computer during that movie night, you began seeing the redheaded stranger around every corner, and leaving your apartment has become more and more difficult; what if she finds you and tries to finish what she started? All you know is that Lisa and the redhead are connected, which puts both you and your best friend in danger. After all, the first time the stranger attacked you was before you and Yoongi’s fake relationship. Who knows what she’d do now? 

You’ve stopped attending classes altogether– leading to the argument with your mother– and you know you should return, but you can’t bear to go back to the place where you and Lisa spent so much time together. You haven’t even begun looking for a new manager. 

“Want to watch a movie?” Yoongi says eventually, clearly noticing you’ve gotten lost in your thoughts again. 

“I’m good.” You rub your eyes, suddenly exhausted. “You should go home, Yoongs.” If your mother really has cut you off, you’ve got a lot to think about– and some choices to make. For some reason, Yoongi remains motionless.

“Do you remember the last time you didn’t take care of yourself, Y/n? You ended up in the hospital.”

His words send you tumbling back to the night, that night when you fainted after kissing him. The boys had visited you, and then Lisa stopped by, and then you were discharged, and… 

“We wanted to deliver a message,” the redhead had said. “A message from the rest of us: you’re not welcome.”

And the push, the water, the cold, the blood, the cold, and Yoongi… 

“Y/n!” You’re jerked back to the present when you feel a callused hand rest on your own. “Hey, take a breath. You’re safe.”

Are you?

Yoongi continues. “I just meant I was worried about you, dork. You’re not eating. I don’t want you to pass out again.”

You look at Yoongi, and you can’t help but long for the relaxed days before, well, everything. Before Lisa disappeared. Before you got messed up in the head. Before Twitter decided it wanted your blood. When you and Yoongi could be yourselves and enjoy your friendship without so many invisible barriers.

Although before… you admit to yourself, I was lying to him. Now you’ve told him the truth, and everything’s gone wrong.

“I wish…” You slump forward to rest your forehead on his shoulder. Even though you haven’t left your bed today, your limbs feel drained of energy. But Yoongi’s warm, and he smells like cinnamon. “I wish we could go back.”

“Oh, Y/n-ie.” Yoongi resumes rubbing your back, his hands and voice impossibly gentle. “I wish I could take your pain away.”

“No, I-” you swallow thickly. “You’ve done so much for me, Yoongs. If only I were stronger.”

“After everything you’ve been through, the fact that you’re still here makes you stronger than I’ll ever be.” He chuckles as though he’s touched on some inside joke. 

“What’s so funny?”

“Just reminds me of some lyrics I’m writing. I think you’ll like-” Yoongi’s interrupted by his buzzing phone on your covers. He glances at the screen briefly, then does a double take, his eyes widening. “Ah- I gotta go.”

“O-Oh.” You watch as he stands quickly, nearly knocking your curled-up form over. “Is everything alright?”

“Yep.” Yoongi pauses. “Just a BTS meeting. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay? Please eat something.”

You bite your lip. You know his work is important, and you can barely believe he’s even managed to spend this much time with you when he’s so busy being a part of the biggest band in the world. Still, to be alone again in such a silent world… You grit your teeth and force a smile in response to his hurried farewell. The door clicks shut behind him and before long, your only companions are the yet-unending stream of notifications. They’ve gotten better, but you’ve long since accepted your status as ARMY villain:

@k-news: according to #MOTS costar @cutie-jeongyeon, @yourname has missed three days of filming. Trouble in paradise for #YoongiAndYn?

@superarmylockXO: torn between wanting yoongi to be happy and wanting to protect him from @yourname hzksdfkskdf #YoongiAndYn

@jinswitchybitch: why is anyone still hating @yourname lmao even @captainkookie21 left her alone so let them date #IdolsArePeopleToo

@namtiddieswhore: I’ve stayed out of the #YoongiAndYn discourse so far but no one can tell me @yourname is not totally toxic for #SUGA! She’s using him for fame I want to vomit :,( still excited for #MOTS tho

You’re too tired to summon the anger that you used to respond to that hater on the last day you saw Lisa, the anger that nearly led you to hit Jeongyeon. You’re too tired to feel anything except cold. And when your eyes at last flutter closed, your dreams are filled with swishes of dyed red hair, rushing water, and Lisa’s whispers.

~~~

Yoongi has barely stepped out of Y/n’s apartment before he presses his phone to his ear. “Hey.”

The reedy voice of an old friend makes him smile. “Hey yourself, Gloss.”

“You know that’s not my name anymore, D.” Yoongi chuckles as he walks out of the front door of Y/n’s apartment complex, spotting the car already running on the darkened street. He slides into the car and the chauffeur nods at him, waiting for a direction.

“Yeah, as if I’m gonna call you Suga.”

“Yo, you said you got what I needed?” Yoongi asks D. 

“Hell yeah. Man, it’s been ages since I got to do shit like this, thanks for the call.”

“Thank you, dude. I’ll send the money to your account tonight. What’s my location?”

D tells Yoongi the address he’s been waiting for, and the chauffeur pulls away from the curb. “Gloss, bro, why’d you want to know? Who’re you fucking around with?”

“Nothing important… but I’ll throw in an extra five hundred if you can track a phone number for me.”

“Sheesh, man, whatever you want. I remember when you didn’t even have fifty to throw around, let alone five hundred.”

Yoongi smiles. “I’m the same kid from Daegu, D.”

“I know that… how about the rest of the world?”

“Text me when you’ve got what I need. I’ll send you the number.”

It’s nearing midnight by the time Yoongi tells the driver to stop, about a block away from his goal. The address is close enough to the edge of Seoul that single-family homes have begun taking over apartment buildings. He pulls a mask over his nose and mouth, his glasses and hat completing the incognito look. 

“Get ready to leave as soon as I come out,” he instructs the driver. “And if I’m not back in half an hour, call the bodyguards to come find me.”

The driver nods affirmative, and Yoongi takes a deep breath. He has to do this- for Y/n. The couple minutes he takes to walk from the car to the front door are all he needs to reassure himself of that. He knocks three times on the door, checking that the address is the same. 

The door at last swings open, and a sleepy voice rings out. “The fuck…? It’s so late!”

Yoongi breathes a sigh of relief. The girl who answered the door matches the photo on his phone. Dyed-red hair, thin lips, double eyelids. So it must be…

“Hello.” Yoongi places a heavy hand on the door to keep the girl from closing it on him. “Nice hair. You must be Seoyeon… and I think it’s time we chat about a mutual friend.”

#bts #bts au #bangtan #suga #yoongi #min yoongi #BTS suga #yoongi bts #bts fluff #bts angst #bts drabble #bts series #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #yoongi drabble #yoongi series #yoongi au #idol!au #actor!au #yoongi x reader #bts fanfic #bts fic #yoongi fanfic #yoongi fic #idol!yoongi #actress!reader #fluff #angst #suga au

[jungshookz]

*kicks open door* kiNDERGARTEN TEACHER!TAEHYUNG THAT HAS A FAT CRUSH ON THE HOT SINGLE MOM HE SEES WHEN SHE COMES TO PICK UP HER CUTEASS KID

→ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

→ genre: kindergartenteacher!taeHYUNG aka THE FLUFFIEST FLUFF like i don’t think i’ve ever felt so SOFT in my entire life great googly moogly please prepare yourselves 

→ wordcount: 3.3k

(gif isn’t mine!)

“shit shit shit shIt shit” you curse to yourself as you vEEr right into the first parking spot you see

you immediately crank the brake and unbuckle your seatbelt

“i was going to park there, asshole!” you hop out of the car to see an angry looking mother glaring at you from her minivan and you give her a sheepish smile

“i’m sorry!!!! my kid just got off from class and i can’t be late because i need to drive her to ballet and-“ you’re definitely oversharing with this stranger and she obviously doesn’t care because she rolls her eyes and flips you off before zoOming off to find another parking spot

soccer moms are so aggressive

you double check that you have everything with you and you fish your parent lanyard out of your backpack and sling it around your neck quickly as you approach the front doors

you thought that once you became a mother you would instantly become more responsible more organised more matuRe

obviously you were mistAken because you’re still late to almost everything you go to

some things never change!!!!

you hurry your way down the hallway and pick up the pace when you see the swarm of parents standing outside the classroom

as you approach the crowd you get up on your tip-toes to see if emma’s been excused yet

you accidentally bump into a couple and a bit of your coffee splashes onto their shoulders and they turn around and give you a dirty look

“oh, sorry!!!! ….fridays, am i right?” you joke and they both scowl before shuffling to stand somewhere else

oof

tough crowd

none of the parents here like u that much

which is a real shame because you think you make greAt company

you’re just,.,, there’s a big age gap between u and most of the parents here

you’re one of the younger parents in the class

actually you might be the youngest

min yoongi and his wife (you forgot her name whoOps) are pretty young but they’re still a couple years older than you

and side note their daughter is adoraBle

emma is actually friends with hwayoung so you talk to yoongi sometimes

it’s nice to talk to someone who’s around your age

he’s just veRy businessman-y so it’s difficult to joke around with him

but he’s still a nice guy!!

speaking of yoongi and hwayoung

a bright smile makes its way onto your face when you see yoongi nudging hwayoung through the crowd of people before grabbing onto her small hand

“yoongi!” yoongi looks up and he smiles politely

he’s still dressed all spic and span in his suit from work

“ah! good afternoon, y/n. hwayoung, say good afternoon to auntie.” he hums before bending down to zip up her backpack that’s just wiDe open

relatable

“good afternoon, auntie!!” she looks up at you with bright eyes

she’s sO CuTE

“hi, hwayoung-ie!” you bend down and pinch her cheek before reaching into the pocket of your coat and fishing out a little caramel “don’t tell your dad,” you joke and yoongi snorts in response

“thank u!!!!!” she snaTches it immediately and you coo before pinching her cheek again

you get back up onto your feet “you guys on your way home now?”

“mhm. is emma still available for a playdate this sunday?” yoongi swoops hwayoung off her feet and props her up onto his hip and she immediately rests her head against his shoulder

“affirmative, sir.” you salute and yoongi rolls his eyes playfully “i-“

“emma y/l/n?” you perk up when you hear emma’s name being called

“yeah, we’ll see you sunday! have a nice night!” you turn to squeeze your way into the crowd and once you make your way to the front your heart immediately starts going boom-boom because

it’s taehyung

emma’s teacher

kim taehyung is uh

whOo

putting it simply he is a very attractive man and he’s only a couple months older than you so like you’re preTTY sure this is god’s way of telling you it’s meant to be

the only time you’ve really talk to him is during the parent-teacher conference and even theN you can barely get a word in because emma’s a little chatterbox (one time she almost let it slip that ‘mommy dressed extra pretty for you!’ and you were literally about to pounce on your child in the middle of a classroom)

he’s really sweet n nice and when he smiles that boxY grin you can’t help but smile aNd he’s endearingly dorky and super charming aND funny and he’s so good with the kids and OH my god his voice is like..,., silky smooth dark chocolate.,,.,. rich caramel.,, that u want to driZZLE all over your BODY

okay no R-rated thoughts when there are children present don’t be weird

since he’s your kid’s teacher so you’re not sure if that’s even allowed

the whole parents dating teachers thing

anyways

he looks so soft today

he’s wearing a crisp button up with a pair of jeans

he obviously let the kids mess with his hair because he has a little sproUT in his hair

and you’re pretty sure you have a glasses kink because you’ve never felt this way when seeing someone with their glasses sitting on the top of their head

“hi, yeah, that’s me- i mean, that’s not me, but that’s my child- you know what i mean” you blow a strand of hair away from your face before adjusting your backpack with a sheepish grin

woW what the hell was that lol  

taehyung presses his lips together to keep himself from bursting into chuckles

you’re so awkward sometimes but he supposes that’s just part of your charm

he wants to tell you you look real cute in your periwinkle sweater

and it’s endearing how the laces on your converse shoes are undone

no doubt from your frantic running down the hallway (he notices everything)

but of course he has to keep it professional because you are the parent of one of his students it doesn’t matTer that you’re the same age as him and that he’s very very very veRY attracted to you

“hi miss y/l/n.” taehyung smiles kindly before ticking next to your name on the clipboard “emma’ll be ready in a minute! we did finger-painting today so the kids are taking a little longer to wash up. how was your day?” he suddenly remembers the little ponYTAIL in his hair and he yanks the hair tie off quickly

“oh, y’know, the usual. i don’t know why i thought it’d be a good idea to keep studying after four whole years of studying.” you snort before pulling your own hair tie from your ponytail and letting your hair down

“i admire that! education is important.” taehyung hums

your hair looks so soft

it probably smells good too

o god he’s being creepy stop being creepy

“i suppose you’re right. what else happened…uh… had a really good caramel macchiato and a mediocre turkey sandwich for lunch-“  

“mommy!” you snap out of your little trance when emma suddenly ziPs out of the classroom

her little backpack bounces against her back

“hi baby!” you grin and swoOp down to scoop her up into your arms

you smoosh kisses against her chubby cheek while she giggles away before you plop her back down onto the ground

it takes everything within taehyung not to mELT into the ground because even tho he sees you do that basically every day it never fails to turn him into a pile of mush IT’S SO CUTE

“we finger-painted today!” she cheers and holds her paper up for you to look at

“yeah, mr kim was just telling me-“

“that’s me, n that’s you, n that’s mr. kim!” she grins and points to the third figure in the painting and almost immediately bOTH yours and tae’s faces go bright red

you think you might actually be on fire right now (even tho this isn’t the first time this has hAPPENeD) ((ur referring to the time the class made play-doh people and emma made one of you and one of tae and the play-doh versions of you two are holding hands))

“oh! that’s, heh, uh, that’s nice! that’s so good, you did a good job, baby” you clear your throat and your eyes flicker over to taehyung

he tilts his head and offers you a meek smile

“will you put it up on the fridge when we go home?” she asks as you tuck it into her backpack for her before ziPping her bag up

“mhm…” you get back up onto your feet and dust your knees off “say g’bye to mr. kim”

“bye mr. kim!” emma turns around and hugs his legs

her face is like on the same level as his knees so he’s basically kneeing her and are u an awful mother if you kinda laughed at that

“goodbye, sweetheart!” he replies with the same level of enthusiasm as he gets down onto his knees so that he can give her a proper hug and she gives him a sweet lil kiss on the cheek “have a nice weekend, hm?” his eyes flicker up to you and you feel your heart skip a beat 

emma pulls away from him and skips over to you 

“oh, and don’t forget to tie your laces, emma.” taehyung hums as he gets back up onto his feet 

you look down because you remember putting emma in slip-on converse this morning not- 

“he means you, mama.” emma not-so-subtly whispers and you look down at your undone laces before looking back up at taehyung who’s looking very amused at the moment 

there it is again 

that fuzzy feeling in your stuPid heart 

u know what you have to get over it because it’s never going to happen 

you’re an adult 

you can get over it fine 

you’ll be finE 

this is just a silly little crush

“how do you feel about spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner?” you clutch emma’s little hand in yours as you guys make your way down the empty hallway

“yummy! with extra cheese?”

“it wouldn’t be as yummy without the extra cheese… but we obviously have to go to our usual place to get a hot chocolate first…” you’re rambling on and on about hot chocolate but emma isn’t really paying attention

because she has concocted a sneaky plan in that tiny brain of hers

she knows you like mr. kim

and she’s positive mr. kim likes you back

you always get so red around him

and he always gets so red around you

and red is the colour of love

which means that you must love mr. kim and mr. kim must love you

and she’s been trying her hardest to try and get you guys to hold hands or touch butts or whatever it is grown-ups do to prove they love each other

but each time she does something she’s never successful!!!

she tried to tell mr. kim about you dressing extra pretty for him but you smacked a hand over her mouth before she could get it out

she made a play-doh mommy and a play-doh mr. kim and presented them proudly to you and mr. kim and the both of you just laUGHED in hER FACE

do you people think she’s just a SIMPLE F O O L

and she has to admit the painting of you and her and mr. kim is probably one of her weaker moves but it’s better than nothing

and u know what

she just wants you to be happy

because she loves you a lot

and you’re a good mommy

and good mommies deserve to be happy

SO

this next part is all part of her evil plan and she’s positive that this time something will happen

all of her peers (including herself) have their own cubbies in the classroom

emma purposely left her snack box in there so that you’d have a reason to go back

AND she left a little note in there for you and (hopefully) mr. kim to read

emma is your child after all

meaning she’s a very verY clever girl

she just has to wait for the right time.,.,.

and the right time is noW

“mommy, my snack box is still in the classroom!!” emma stops in her tracks and you nod before pointing to the direction of the classroom

“go ahead, go get it”

“but i need to pee.” she squeezes her legs together and makes a face of discomfort “you need to get the snack box, mommy”

“i-“ you look back at the closed door of the classroom “mommy can wait for you to finish peeing and then you can go-“

“no, no, you need to go get it i need to pEE” the next thing you know she’s spRInting towards the washroom and you’re left standing in the middle of the hallway with question marks floating around your head

what in the hickory ham is going on

“gO GET MY SNACK BOX MOMMY” you hear her voice echo from the washroom

“alRIght alright” you snort before turning and heading back to the classroom

you don’t know why you’re suddenly so nervous

you’re retrieving your daughter’s snack box from her super attractive teacher that you definitely have a crush on there’s nothing to be nervous about

hi tae! emma left the ol’ snack box up in here!

whaddup mr. kim! mind if i just pOP right in??

yo Yo yOOoo have u seen a purple box anywhere?? because it belongs to emma and i need it

o god

all of these options are terrible

you need more time to rehearse your lines-

you’re about to reach up to knock on the door when suddenly it swiNgs right open and you stumble back in surprise

“oh shit!” taehyung reaches out and grabs onto your waist before you can fall flat on your aSS and you let out a squeak

in the midst of your almost-fall you’d grabbed onto his bicep and now.,.., he has an arm…, wrapped around your waist.,., while you have one hand on his bicep and one hand curled around the nape of his neck.,,,..,.,

the two of you snap out of your respective trances when you hear a door open down the hallway and you immediately leT GO of each other

also tae was right ur hair does smell really nice

“hi. sorry about that! i was on my way to the washroom and i didn’t know you were outside…” he clears his throat and prays to god he’s not as red as a tomato right now

“no, no! it was my bad, i’m sorry.” you reach up and scratch the back of your neck “i, uh, emma said she left her snack box in here.” you breathe out

“oh, uh, come in! i’ll help you search for it. it’s probably in her cubby. she’s always leaving things in there.” taehyung falls back into his ‘mr. kim’ persona as he leads you towards the cubbies in the back “let’s see… emma… here~” he bends down and you follow suit

oh my go d he even smells good is this aLLOWed

you perk up when you spot emma’s box

“hey, you’re right! here it is-“ you reach in and grab the box but you’re surprise when you notice the piece of paper stuck to the back of it

it’s an A4 piece of paper with a little card stuck to it and a note written in crayon on it

you recognise the card

it’s the business card of that little cafe you take emma to every friday after school

the one that you’re supposed to take her to right noW

‘mommy’s faveriate drink is karomal makkiatoe and mr. kim’s faverieote drink is hot chalklate’

“huh.” both you and tae are kinda just staring at the note

the gears are click-click-clicking away in both your guys’ heads

and then it hits the both of you at the same time

oh.

oh.

taehyung isn’t typically a ballsy guy but like

he’s feeling vEry brave all of a sudden

“can i take you out sometime?” he blurts out and your eyes widen in surprise

oh

well

you certainly weren’t expecting that

the both of you get back up onto your feet and you tuck emma’s box into your backpack

your cheeks flare up and you let out a little chuckle before scratching the back of your neck “i… uh…”

“i mean, don’t feel pressured to say yes just because i’m emma’s teacher!” taehyung stammers “i just, y’know, i don’t want to overstep here but i think you’re a very beautiful woman and-“

“i would love to.” you clear your throat and take your bottom lip in between your teeth “yeah, i would love to. actually, uh- emma and i, we usually go to this cafe every friday - if you’re free right now, maybe you can come and join us?” you rub your slighTLy damp hands on the back of your jeans and taehyung immediately lightS up and nods quickly

“i would love that. yeah, just… just gimme a second to clean up real quick! i’ll meet you and emma outside?”

“great! yeah, totally. she’s just.. she’s peeing right now so i should probably go check and see that she hasn’t flushed herself down the toilet or anything” you joke as you make your way towards the door and tae splits off to head to his desk “i’ll see you outside!”

you shut the door behind you and you have to quickly press yourself against the wall and you nearly bite your bottom lip off to keep yourself from screaming

your heart is going a million miles an hour and there are butterflies just having a raVE in your stomach

as soon as you leave the room taehyung pumps a fiST into the air in victory because Y E S  HE DID IT

“did you find my box?” emma’s sitting outside the washroom as you approach her and you raise a brow before nodding

“mhm.” she gets up and grabs onto your hand before looking back at the classroom door

huh

did her plan not work

she knows she’s not supposed to say bad words but what the h*ck

she really thought her plan would work!!!!

“mr. kim’s joining us for hot chocolate today, by the way. hope you don’t mind.”  you add casually and a cheshire-cat grin takes over emma’s face

the whole time you and emma and tae are at the cafe emma can’t help but feel proud of herself

you and mr. kim are sitting very vEry close to each other in your booth chatting away while she sits opposite of you two quietly nibbling at a scone and taking small sips of her hot chocolate

S U C C E S S has never tasted so good

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

#bts #taehyung #kim taehyung #uwU #requested drabbles #taehyung fics #taehyung fic recs #taehyung fluff #taehyung cute #taehyung cute gifs #taehyung fluff recs #taehyung smut #taehyung smut recs #bts fics #bts fic recs #bts cute

[truthaliar]

aiiiiiiight so here’s a post about mental health representation in media; or in other words: my mental health and apparently, the umbrella academy.

ps i am in no way, shape or form a mental health professional - this is just retelling an experience i had

sooo okay i was talking to my therapist. i’m gonna paraphrase this but basically she was like ‘do you watch umbrella academy’ and i was like ‘yea my friends are trying to figure out who is who in my friend group’ and it basically went ‘oh did they put you as diego? good, let’s talk about your hero complex.’ 

now to clarify i’m not typically like super open about it, but i have ptsd & anxiety. my panic disorder is mostly controlled at this point (ie i can now pinpoint triggers). a few weeks ago i finally told my mom i had ptsd after several years and she just responded, ‘i know.’

anyway, i ended up learning that there’s peer reviewed articles about umbrella academy in psychiatric journals, highlighting the show’s potential as a mental health tool. also i never really saw myself in any of tua characters but vaguely recognized my obsession w/ justice in diego, and also saw myself in five’s caffeine addiction. so the fact that a medical person... saw diego - weirds me out a little. more on that in a sec.

so my therapist, i guess let’s call her fran, said that diego’s behavior & habits are tied to his inability to introspect and manage his own emotions so he externalizes & fixates on justice, this external thing that has clear, logical right & wrong, something that he can take into his own hands bc he feels that the system is broken. it’s easier for him to focus on that than on fixing himself.

to be clear she said it’s fairly common for ppl in diff branches of medicine to feel this way to a degree; you’re trained to be more detached from your emotions so it’s not unusual to (slightly-moderately) go either the diego route or the luther route if you begin to lose it (and hopefully not the five route cuz that’s a whole diff story). of course these are extremes (and she said i have parallels to diego, not that i have anywhere near his level of hero complex)

even still when she said that -- it hit different. like when my friends cast each other, it’s something we’ve been doing for years right? it’s just fun, and yea you often poke fun at yourself/each other in the process -- but it’s not the same as a professional saying ‘look at this extreme characterization of what could happen if you don’t take a step back‘. honestly my response was, ‘wow that doesn’t seem healthy.’

so the diego route is feeling like the system has failed you. therefore you want to act against or destroy the system that let you down, that didn’t care about you, that didn’t nurture you, and build something better -- on your own because the whole damn thing is unjust and it isn’t fair. the emotion you use to cope with is anger. and to build a new system you need people to back you. to get people to back you, you need to save them. kill the system, fix the broken. you might think you’re doing it on your own, but your success is still contingent on there being problems to solve.

the luther route -- based on my understanding bc she didn’t think i did this -- is more adhering yourself to the system and saying ‘good or bad, it’s by wedding myself to the system through which i will succeed, and i must be important because the system let me in to begin with.’

ofc any person can begin to display traits of any of those characters or of multiple characters, and to repeat they’re all in rough shape. and just bc she implied those are the two fairly common ways to feel in doesn’t mean you can’t be a klaus or a vanya or an allison or whoever you see similarities with.. like that’s the point. everyone responds to trauma differently. and it’s also a one-size fits all. she didn’t mean to and i do not mean to represent the siblings as perfect representations -- only that it does happen to match my behavior.

fran told me that to snap out of the hero complex, at least sometimes, you have to be able to separate yourself from the injustice that surrounds you n understand that people aren’t helpless and you are not here to save everyone. bc first of all - that’s a lot of fuckin’ work and second of all - that’s kinda rude to assume that people can’t fix their own problems. and unless they ask us for help, it’s our job to let them. after all, i’d be pissed if someone thought i needed saving.

so then comes the part i struggle with which is detaching yourself from the work you inevitably choose that focuses on solving problems. i’m shit at it; i’m always fucking problem-solving. i can’t turn it off. i can’t make it stop. and it carries over from my youth bc i felt like i was the only person that could see the solutions to the very real problems in my life. like diego, i’d zoom in and fixate (helloooo jfk plotline) and try to do something about it. turns out i got pretty good at this, and that spurred my career path. i never wanted to see myself as the victim. ever. even after i endured certain traumas that i don’t want to disclose. in my mind, i was never broken. the situations were just injust; and i couldn’t fix... the people, but maybe i could fix the situations.

so what did justice look like to me? i love my family, so i mostly focused on my career - something i could undoubtedly shape on my own. developed a list of people whose jobs i wanted to steal. out of revenge, feeling i could bring justice to the field by bringing my mindset to the table. sound vaguely familiar?

also probably not the healthiest fictional character to relate to. worse still, even arya was able to let go of her vindictive streak at the end of the day (at least in the show) -- something i am still working on. (also probably a good time for a reminder that the plan is to get good enough in my field to ‘steal jobs’ so that i can mold the field into what i want it to be, not actually physically hurt people). i did take up fencing tho.

soooo now it’s 2020. and i’m 28. and something important happened.

i was talking with my mentor and as we were chatting i realized that there is a job out there that i want. and not because i want to steal it out of a sense of ‘revenge’ -- but because i really like that person’s job. that i could see myself in that position because i love what it entails. and i think it’s the first time i ever saw that.

in eight months of constant therapy, i’ve realized that i do have a dream vet school; i do have a dream job; that my life is more than just trying to fix the world.

complexes don’t go away overnight and i kept things purposely vague - i’ll always have a little bit of ‘save the world’ in me.

but i can now say that tech school finishes in 10 months. it’ll be over in less than a year. i submit my vet school app in a week, with a much more refined & steady focus. i’m kind of ready to pursue happiness again. i’m much more confident that i’ll get where i want to be.

and whatever ya know? i’ll figure it out as i go

but tada there’s the story of my therapist seeing me in diego hargreeves, what the fuck.

#about me #personal #do not reblog pls #mostly doing this for myself #cuz fran says i need to work on my vulnerability #bleh #and also i'm curious if anyone has had similar experiences w using tua as a reference for mental health #i think you'd really have to be a certain personality to be chill with it bc i can see it being a sensitive topic for a lot of people

[nicskoyoga]

That girl needs therapy...

I’m excited to embark on a new journey, with a therapist I’m expecting to spend quite a lot of time with. Because I really want to? I guess so, yeah. Sick to death of experiencing my own let-downs. :(

Who cares? No-one REALLY 

... not enough to get up off their arse and find out exactly what needs to be done. 

Only those who’ve had to walk the path themselves can empathize completely. And actually I don’t know if I know anyone who has been through it all, and would be available to hold my hand. Why? Cos that’s not their vocation, and they’re not my mother, lover or dearest friend. 

Gratitude without showing it

So completely grateful for the advice I’ve been given though....

Don’t get me wrong. It’s just so difficult to take advice though isn’t it? 

Some people just learn in different ways. Some of us have to have our hand held, and...

Why? Because we’re a different kind of addict to our problems. 

We’re the kind that hasn’t got the get-go to behold true deep reliable faith in ourselves. We gotta see it, have it agreed, and confirmed 1million times over, cos...

We’re too damn stuck to be able unspell ourselves from our own stupid miseries.

Heck I’m still I’m happy I’m me though!!! Wouldn’t wanna be the lot of ya, ha ha ha ha. 

That’s probably my worst personality trait failing showing bright and true as it is there for ya for free, go on, hate on me. But ... I do believe I think I’m better, and yet I know I’m bloody useless too. And you’re amazing and better than me in too many shameful ways (yawn. but yet AWFUL!!!!) 

So yeah... I know stuff. I’ve experienced changes. I could do with just a little bit more

Now... I know I’m getting all ahead of myself; already getting so super excited that I may be able to really enjoy my life deeply soon when,

I’ve had literally 1 session of therapy so obviously the help hasn’t yet begun really.... And yet, 

I do believe a change is on the horizon.

This year has been pretty damn challenging in terms of managing (or not) my mental health problems. BUT it’s getting easier, I feel less sick, literally feel like good food is edible again. I have less headaches and anxiety attacks and my depressive states are gradually reducing.

Why do I tell this story?

Imagining that few to no people will read me. Because it’s me truthfully now. It’s what I am happy to help explain, and share. 

God I try to let people know,

but it’s so damn depressing I don’t want to burden, 

I just want to explain a little... 

so they can understand;

why I am unable to tell them what is good with my life 

and why I don’t want to join in anymore, 

why I don’t want to actively live my life... 

Because things aren’t in place in my life, 

and every time I try to get on track, I get a knockback again before long, in the shape of stupid, F**king, ever-reappearing mental health shite.

Can you tell I’m a little bit angry about it? 

I’m hugely ashamed about it, 

...that I keep letting myself and others down, but not quite enough to pull my finger out, hey. Yep ... loser, and knows it. The ramblings of a suicidal you’d think? Nope I can’t even be bothered to think my life is worth ending, I’d rather suffer in knowing it’s wasted.

I used to, and still kind of do believe that 

therapy is only really worthy of those who are suicidal. (WRONG)

Any of you who have ever encountered the questions by a health professional asking you if you are suicidal or have ever had suicical thoughts may know what I mean. 

I mean... why are you asking me like it’s a determinator of how awful my life is, are you telling me to

get to that point before I’m ready to get help? Heck what the hell! 

Obviously I know it’s about a duty of care. But my god, there’s gotta be some truth in giving those who are waiving the white flag at the grim reaper a red flag up to the top of the “that girl needs therapy” list

Money health talks

Do you know I managed to fail a health assessment for Employment Support Allowance, I was going to challenge it, yet I read the report and the statements were true. 

And yet here I am 6 months later. Same situ, off job seekers.  Struggling to keep working. I may as well take another bloody corporate job, at least I get better pay and better hours, cos my extra time and space right now doesn’t appear to be doing the trick

Sack me again, let me drain the corporations and get closer to that more important suicidal feelin’, yeah!!?

That trick I thought I had up my sleeve of becoming a yoga teacher would help me end of. 

NOPE. Girl still needs therapy. 

Of course I don’t have a clear strategy, I’ve been too poorly to address the essentials. Shame on me. 

So where’s my support? My family find ways to help me hugely but it’s not easy, it’s not without discomfort and it’s certainly doesn’t feel like taking liberties living in luxury.  It’s not possible for me to drain my parents retirement on which they’re living.

 The system isn’t supporting me, and I am struggling to support myself. It’s sick. 

So now a motivation for me to earn money is for me to afford my therapy. How nuts is that. 

I choose a better present and a future as my priority. I’m offered to pay less but as a professional in a similar field I don’t wish to exploit this generosity. It’s empowering to know it’s possible, yet whilst I set my priorities on my basic needs and this, 

How  dare I lower her rates to charity level, that’s not on. Not unless I’ve succumbed to the addictions of life, materialism, capitalism, being unable to be in solitude or celebrate at low - zero expense

... then that’s my problem as far as I am concerned and should it happen, then I’ll be happy to say I’m sorry I am asking to take advantage of your generosity.

Money talks

My belief is that our economic balance is total trash, 

Equality in life is at the essence of my beliefs,

Hence why I fall victim to believing that you are entitled to earn what your clients earn, if they value you, they will share the value of their time with you for the value of your time. 

What they fail to see more often than not, is that the value of my time is not the time in which they have me in a room, or the spare minutes around or messages exchanged. Working as a yoga instructor, or fitness instructor is so poorly valued, 

We spend so much time if we are doing a good proper job in keeping things afloat. 

IE let’s example a building contractor. Why do you pay them so much? Well of course they have to go and 

source the materials and put a premium on them no doubt, 

and they have to do the plans 

and my god may they have to market themselves? 

Or pay for tools (no I don’t just need mats) 

Let’s talk about my laptop which I wouldn’t have got honestly unless for work, 

for the phone which is on it’s arse which needs replacing to enable me to pitch for more work, 

what about the photo and video editing software, mic, camera etc that would all help me to keep going along this track so I can create content and stuff. 

God I’ve even got to pay for word processor these days, 

my insurances. 

Do you know what I’d 100% ditch my car if it wasn’t for work so 

How much do you spend on your car cos you’re income allows? 

RANT OVER(ish) ... at the fear of sounding like a self-entitled arsehole, ha. But you see where I am going with this. These are not just set up costs, they’re business costs which will need attention over time, for an exchange of services = business 

Even if it’s not a tangible asset, it’s a lifestyle choice like a car that actually you might walk away with lifelong lifestyle value against rather than depreciating bullshit.

There is business costs you wouldn’t consider, and you have lifestyle expectations that you demand of your employment, so because you think that it’s a choice or privilege for someone to pursue their vocation and it’s their responsibility or problem, and nothing of your concern that they have not found the way to achieve their income or funding without asking for reasonable rates of pay that reflect your own salaried hourly rate.  Where do you expect business funding to come from? - Those who advantage from the business!

That’s why it’s so hard

Because, 

Conflicting with this I also believe that yoga should not have this prestige image, or something of aspirational, it should be accessible to the masses ... god it’s within us so let me teach you how to practice yourself for free

My words are coming to an end. Terrible ramblings, I don’t have the patience right now to produce some quality content to share, hence why I don’t mind no-one it reading now. But maybe in time to come it may be seen and understood as a backstory. Shedding whatever lights I felt at the time, maybe changed, hopefully understood in the future with less conflict.

I would like to end this by offering my deepest apologies for my untruths, lies, letdowns, and would like to offer my deepest gratitude to those who read, who help, and who have the heart to care without judgement that this girl who needs therapy may always but has faith she will be absolutely amazing soon.

Almost THE END

And the last depressive note, just because hey, I am, and why not after being vocal on it. 

Sleeping tablets.. I’ve had over my dose tonight, again. and look at the energy exuding from me. 

Tomorrow no doubt I’ll be wiped and find my day tiresome needing naps or if I was in a office I’d be sitting pretending to do some mundane tasks extremely slowly (very rewarding). 

So well done, thanks for the help there NHS / Benefits system. Sort the shit out. 

Time out. 

And next up... when is it ok to start telling people I am letting them down because I am too depressed and anxious? 

.............................................THE END

#anxiety #depression #yogainstructor #fitnessinstructor #mentalhealth #therapy

[floralkittygambler]

Return of The Thing

Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:

Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.

A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:

Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 

In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 

On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.

I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 

And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!

Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.

Hip Happenin Now:

Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 

Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care

#im fucking tired #ive hardly had any alcohol lately as well #ive snuck some though but not as much for unwind time sadly #also discovered sourz alcohol and it is wonderful #i made someone laugh until literal pissing themselves though so #im taking bloody pride in that comedy so

[lyzande]

ebarg thoughts - my swan song

just some shitty thoughts that I need to vent

I honestly don’t know how to start this, or what even to write. Where should I begin? How should I spin this tale? What will the ending be?

I’ve been struggling with formulating coherent thoughts over the last few weeks and months, and honestly, I can’t be fucked to start pulling myself together. Putting aside my academic obligations, thinking itself - in a logical, calm, and sensible manner - has become a huge burden. Even with the academic strain, I have struggled to perform and study up to the standards that I should be performing at. 

This year has been ridiculously tough on all of us. At the beginning of 2020, no one could have ever predicted the shitty predicament that we would be in, from the very first month of the year.

I have to say, it’s fucking shitty that I’m in this state of mind once again. I’ve worked so hard to pull myself together back in 2018, and honestly, I managed pretty well in holding myself together all throughout the year of 2019.

I suppose I should reflect on my mental state from the beginning. Honestly, I’ve been struggling with this bullshit internally for nearly seven years, by my most gracious estimate. Although, I hesitate in claiming anything since I have not been diagnosed or even talked to any mental health professional. But, you know, at the risk of misdiagnosis, I have done research, bounced ideas off of different sound boards, ie. the people who I value in my life, and their opinions thereabout.

Having established my fragile state of mind, things could only get worse by the end of 2017. In my third year of college, I was elected to be an officer of our mother org, which I had no experience in at all. It’s not a surprise that there were a lot of struggles that faced me, a lazy procrastinator with whimsical ideas about life who was suddenly handed the responsibilities of a secretary. I did my best, or so I’d like to think, but it wasn’t enough to meet the standards which I should have worked at. I failed. I’m not going to sugarcoat shit. I failed horribly. I tried to learn as best I can from my failures, and I’d like to think that I may have improved from that. 

At the same time, by the end of the semester, I had failed one of my subjects due to my own irresponsibility. I really don’t want to get into it but I accepted everything that happened. It was one of the only times that I broke down in school. I remember, 2017 was the year that two of my dearest friends saved me. To this day, I still love them unconditionally because at my worst, they were there, and at my best, they were the reason.

Anyway, fast forward to mid-2018, the end of our third year in college. By that time, I had lost my love for our org and had started spending more time with another. Although I did not neglect my duties, I had only given the bare minimum. I struggled with a few but our efforts were not enough to salvage the dumpster fire that was our responsibility. Again, I learned and I promised to never make the same mistakes again.

Enter our fourth year of college. It was the year where we had to finish our thesis, finish our internship and pass our other academic requirements in order to graduate. On top of that, I was appointed as the managing editor of our college paper. I was elected into the minor position of PIO within out college subcouncil. I was elected to be the President of our University’s student volunteerism organization. I don’t know if I’ve stressed this enough but I was not a responsible student. I resented my course. I chose neither Accountancy nor Accounting Management, and out of spite, I neglected my academics.

I struggled with juggling my other responsibilities on top of trying to have a social life. So it was a month into our fourth year that I tried to kill myself. I have already been actively selfharming for a few months by then, and it all peaked when I has one shitty night, and I drank a betsin cocktail of my own making. But I was stupid and I didnt have nearly enough to even give me a stomach ache. I probably should have gone for an overdose or something.

But to my shame, I didn’t die. I dont think anyone even knew what I attempted. I was lucky. A few weeks later, we had a team building activity, which I attended with some of my closest friends. They saved my shitty self again that day. For the first fucking time, i saw what I’ve been blind to for such a long time. I had people that actually fucking cared about me. I could not lose them. I’ve pulled my shit together. A friend made me promise to stop selfharming, and honestly, I was pretty good at keeping that promise.

Fast forward to mid-2019, I guess. My family had already decided I was going to be enrolled into law school. I’ve been struggling with the idea, I was willing but I wasn’t quite sure. Nevertheless, I pursued it. It was an amazing first sem, honestly. I met a lot of great people. I made a new family. We all went through the same struggles and joys. It was a whole new unique experience. By this point, I was in a pretty good mental state. I was stable. I made a promise to myself that I’d actually be making an effort, academically-speaking.

Of course, it wasn’t easy. On top of the already harsh standards demanded by law school, there were external stressors. Everyone has struggles in law school. Everyone had their own problems. These were mine: family expectations, distorted self-worth and self-view, struggling social life, and I was missing my first family - my closest friends.

Fast forward again to 2020, and holy shit. What a fucking year. It isn’t even over yet. Taal volcano exploded. Tried to help around in the ways I can. Still studying diligently. Then covid happened. Quarantine and lockdown enforced. That was a whole other struggle. Everyone had to adjust to learning on their own and thru online means. Still, it wasn’t too bad. We missed each other’s company but we managed somehow.

Having been in a stable headspace for the past n months, I decided to get back into the dating and social scene. Being the haliparot that I am, I made landi like it was going out of fashion. It was fun. Met a few people, got watered, figuratively speakin, y’all know what I’m saying? But then fucking shitty people making shitty decisions. Engineers are ghosters, y’all can’t change my mind. Engineer, if you ever read this for some reason, fuck you. (but if you want, I’m still head over heels for you, you shitty fucking fuck)

ANYWAY. Around July or August, my mom got sick. She struggled with her health. Those few weeks that she was out of commission was tough. She’s the only person working in our household, so we all depended on her income. I wanted to drop out and work, because I needed to help my parents. But I kept studying because sayang naman daw if I wasted my time. Im a full time student, being supported by my family. They wanted me to focus on studying. So I did.

Then about a month or so ago, my dad got sick. He can’t get up without getting dizzy. At first it was just blood pressure issues, which became blood sugar issued but now, apparently, it’s some fucking brain issues. My cousins have been covering the medical expenses and honestly, we’re struggling so fucking hard to live right now. I really want to drop out of school and work, just so we can have stable income but with this shitty situation we’re in? holy shit

the past few weeks have been a struggle. academic burn out. social burn out. i’ve been contemplating selfharm again. i want to die. my body is giving up on me. everything is hurting. i cant talk to any of my friends because im scare. i know i can rely on them but im so fucking scared. im becoming naother huge disappointment. im falling into a pit of my own making. i dont know what to do. i cant focus on my studies. im performing subpar. i need to support my family. my social life is dead. my heart is broken. im doing my best but my best right now? it’s worth shit.

im trying to pull myself together but i dont know where im at right now

im trying to reach out but i know how much people are also struggling and i dont wanna take away their time and effort

trying to look for work but im abrely qualified

constant headaches and body aches

my heart is still crying for him

my soul is condemned to eternal suffering

our society is falling apart

our economy is fucked

history is repeating itself

politics is bonkers

people are dying

i dont know what the shit is oging on

i want to die

i want to live

i want to survive

i miss my friends

i miss my fmaily

im tired

im so fucking tired

i dont know what to do

i just want to die

[shuakkinda-blog]

Soonyoung crushing on you !! // scenario

A bullet-point scenario highlighting our bright star, Soonyoung/Hoshi !!

Send requests for scenarios and reactions on my page if you wish :)

- special shout out to our hosh rn bc this poor boy is sick and he could use all the healing time he can get (stay healthy and rest, love <333)

- this sweetie is honestly one of the most hard working people e v e r

- he pushes himself so much

- and we know that he’s tough on the members when practicing but I’m sure that’s only because:

- 1. he knows the potential of his friends

- 2. he cares about the future of svt

- Soonyoung is just so caring to the point that it hurts him sometimes???

- I’m glad he’s resting because we all know he needs it, as do the rest of the members (especially with this crazy tour schedule they’re in the middle of)

- so really, I honor Soonyoung for everything he does, and he deserves only the best out of his career ;u;

- and with this I’m sure he’d only want to be the best version of himself for the girl he likes as well

- his determination in furthering his career would be the same when it comes to pursuing his crush

- with that said, let’s get right into the scenario !!!

- as an intern at pledis entertainment, you find yourself becoming close friends to 3 specific members of a particular svt unit:

- Channie, Savhao, and Junnie ! 

- you get to know these three performance unit boys individually, but you never get to hang out with them altogether

- so one day, your little friends tell you that it’s about time all four of you meet up once and for all

- but because of your crazy schedules, there’s really no other time to do this besides the performance team practice time

- at first you think, “hey it’d be kind of cool to see them choreographing n practicing n whatnot!”

- thing is

- there’s one member you haven’t exactly bonded with/talked to like you did with the rest of the performance team:

- Kwon Soonyoung

- thinking it would be awkward for the team leader to see you hanging out with his team, you often pushed off the idea of visiting their practices

- no matter how many times the three boys begged you to come

- you just couldn’t say yes

- you’d feel bad but you’d try to convince them that it’s for the best

- and besides, the practice is meant for them to practice, not to chat around with some intern (not like they would mind tho lol)

- imagine pouty chanhaojun @ you bc iSN’T IT JUST THE MOST ADORABLE THING???

- ANYWAYS, after much thinking, the three guys figure that there’s really no way they’d be able to hang out with you as a group unless they invite you over to practice

- so they get s n e a k y

- kind of

- okay not really

- during one of your shifts, Chan texts you:

- “y/n!! are you free right now?”

- “yeah, what’s up?”

- “can you come down to the practice room rn?”

- “you guys aren’t having practice right now, right?”

- “*suspicious eyes emojis*”

- “Chan, how many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to intrUDE??” “I’m sorry, but I won’t go if you guys are busy.”

- “WAIT LISTEN LISTEN” “we actually need someone to give their opinion on this part of the choreography we’re coming up with... and we were wondering if you could take a look?”

- “uhhhhh... don’t yall have a creatives director... and an assistant choreographer LMAO”

- “yes yes but we want to know what girls like you would think of it you know :(”

- “sigh”

- “come on, just do us a favor” “and doing us this favor means you’re technically not intruding :3″

- “... fine.”

- “NDNFBLSJADFHBJ YAY OMG” “HURRY HURRY”

- so you head to the practice room, and as soon as you walk in:

- “Y/N-IE~” the boys greet you in excitement

- well except Soonyoung but

- he gives you a smile and a curt bow at least

- you give him a bow and a formal greeting as well, but that’s just about as much interaction you’ll have with him

- at first :3

- your three friends honestly just wanted you to be with them, and they finally found an excuse to bring you over to practice

- but you proved to be more helpful during their practice than they had all expected

- you gave pretty good constructive criticism on some of the dance moves and even gave a few suggestions for formations

- and your little trio LOVED IT

- but you know who appreciated your help the most?

- OFC IT’S HOSHI

- it was very nice to have another person give their opinion on the team’s choreography

- and it’s not just another professional choreographer or director doing it either

- it’s a normal person (I mean this in a good way :)

- and he thinks you’ve got a good eye for things that even the pros couldn’t catch themselves

- Soonyoung also realized how much nicer/less stressed he was when you were there helping out

- so all in all, he was really glad you came

- in fact:

- “hey, Jun, Minghao, Chan,” Soonyoung calls the rest of the team as they convene for practice the day after your visit

- the three boys turn to him

- “do you guys think... we could have y/n down here again? You know, just to help out again?” the leader looks down and paces shyly back and forth, but his face is blank

- “WAIT ARE YOU SERIOUS?” Jun says as his eyes widen in disbelief

- “yeah, of course,” Soonyoung is trying to keep his cool composure

- “YES YES WE’LL CALL HER RIGHT NOW !!”

- so they call you up to invite you once again, and since your three friends had expressed their gratitude for your help after practice yesterday, you agree to go

- you arrive at the practice room and are greeted warmly not only by your little trio

- but also by Soonyoung, who flashes a wider smile than the day before

- and it goes like this for almost every performance team practice you can attend from then on

- over time, Soonyoung would start to notice that you’re not the average, serious intern who’s just doing her job (and a little extra for their team)

- there’s a reason why his fellow team members have become so close to you

- they’re all so fond of your positive nature, understanding, honesty, and ofc your fun personality

- and these things are what draw Soonyoung to you

- if he’s being honest, he’d say he’s been attracted to you since he first saw you walking around the company building

- but your whole personality confirmed how much he was beginning to really like you

- YALL KNOW IT’S TIME TO DISCUSS SOONYOUNG’S CRUSHING HABITS:

- he’s honestly not like the rest of the members when it comes to crushing

- he’s kind of a mix of flirty and shy but you won’t be able to tell when he’s gonna be which???

- it can be confusing tbh

- like if you give him a compliment on some solo dance he made for himself, he could either go:

- 1. “oh reAlly??” *smirk* “was it... attractive? ;)”

- 2. “oh... really?” *blushes* “thank you~” *smiles at floor*

- but I’d say he’d be pretty shy 70% of the time at the start, and then he’d slowly get more flirty as you guys become closer friends

- speaking of being close friends, Soonyoung would also put so much effort into becoming your best friend

- because he wants to confess to you knowing that you’re close to him

- so even if you reject him, he knows there’s a chance that you guys can still be friends at least

- the last thing he wants to do is lose you altogether :(

- ALSO, ONE SUPER DUPER BIG THING that Soonyoung would do with his crush is force her to dance with him

- yeaH that’s right, get your dancing shoes on bc this boy will beg and beg until you agree to dance something with him

- even if you can’t dance, he’ll still really want you to do it

- it’s just a way for him to get skinship moments with you tbh slick shit hosh, real slick

- he’ll teach you the basics first and then progress into harder and more partner-based choreos ;);)

- so you’ll be slowly building up a whole dance routine collection with your bestie !! how cute :’)

- when he’s on flirt mode, Soonyoung is a huge tease we all know this

- the cute things he’ll do to get you flustered during your dance routines would either make you laugh or make you super weak omg

- he wouldn’t hesitate to take any opportunity to suddenly pull you close while dancing, and he’ll probably charm you with a smile while he’s at it

- and as he gets used to meeting up with you to dance,

- Soonyoung would want to spend time with you A LOT MORE OFTEN

- but only with you

- so oftentimes, after performance team practice, the other three dancers would hang out for a little bit in the practice room

- but Soonyoung would be itching to hang out with you and work on your dance routine alone in the room

- so he’d be awkwardly standing to the side as the trio plays around before he musters enough courage to say:

- “uh, hey guys,” he’d clear his throat. “I kinda- I mean, y/n and I- we want to... you know...”

- “oH, do whAt?” Jun wiggles his eyebrows. Chan and Minghao laugh along

-  “HEY WE’RE JUST GONNA HANG OUT OURSELVES OKAY?”

- “Soonyoung’s making me do a dance with him again,” you’d explain

- “WAIT YOU GUYS DANCE TOGETHER???”

- “Wtf Soonyoung, you didn’t tell them?” you say

- “hey hey, you didn’t tell them either,” Soonyoung would laugh nervously

- and when the three boys finally get kicked out by Hoshi, the trio would probably tell the rest of the members about this out of saltiness lma0

- a few members would start to interrogate him about his crush, and he’d probably deny it every damn time it’s so obvious you ain’t fooling anyone buddy

- but when Soonyoung starts getting the feeling that you might like him as well, he’ll probably openly admit it to the group one day

- he’d show up pretty late to an svt meeting that Seungcheol is holding in the practice room

- “Soonyoung, why are you always so late nowadays?” Seungcheol would say in an upset tone

- “he was probably just hanging out with y/n again,” Chan would say bitterly

- “yeah, what a best friend stealer,” Jun would pout

- “hey man, y/n is my best friend,” Minghao would hit Jun in the arm

- “okay but who became her firST friend?? Das right, it was mE,” Chan would join in the fight

- “alright alright, that discussion can be held somewhere else at some other time,” Seungcheol would stop them. “Soonyoung, seriously, what’s going on? Is this about y/n?”

- “yeah dude,” Seokmin would say. “If you really like her, just admit it already.”

- “no one’s buying it when you say you don’t,” Wonwoo adds and the rest if the boys nod in agreement

- “UGH FINE, YES I DO LIKE Y/N, OKAY?”

- “and I’m sorry for always being late to these kinds of meetings and practices lately. I just really like her okay?”

- “I’m putting all this effort into hanging out with her because I really don’t want to lose her. 

- “You guys know how I am when I’m serious about pursuing something.”

- the whole group goes silent. Seungcheol thinks it over

- “Normally,” Seungcheol starts. “I wouldn’t let this kind of thing slide with me, but I can tell you really like y/n, so I’ll forgive you.”

- “But let me tell you, if she’s willing to spend that much time with you, she probably likes you too.”

- with this, Soonyoung finally decides that it’s time to confess

- one night, your hangout with Soonyoung extended a little later at night than usual, meaning you’d have to walk home to your apartment alone in the dark

- but ofc Soonyoung, being the caring person he is, would want to accompany you home, just to make sure you get there safely

- and while you guys are walking home, Soonyoung’s heart can’t help but flutter while seeing you smile at your conversation under the street lights at night

- he’d be falling so hard at this point, he’ll have to do something about it

- and as a dancer, he’s not one to tell you how he feels with words

- so when you get to your apartment, you unlock your door

- but before you can twist the door open

- he impulsively takes one of your wrists, pulls you close, and locks his lips with yours in a passionate kiss

- and you, unable to fight back the feelings you have for Soonyoung as well, kiss him back

- breathless, he pulls away from you afterwards and looks deeply into your eyes, your faces just a few inches apart

- having noticed you kissed him back, he asks

- “Is it safe to say that the feeling is mutual?”

- “why else do you think I agreed to dance with you?” you laugh 

- he breaks out into a huge smile before pulling you in for another kiss

#seventeen #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #kwon soonyoung #hoshi #seventeen hoshi

[saturnbham]

Getting Your Brand Spanking New Band Booked

I put up a Facebook post asking folks about how to go about getting booked a music venue, and I gathered here some of the best answers (both flippant and serious) for your reading pleasure.

The original post:

I'm interested in what you guys think on this: Coming from a new band's perspective, what do you think are some good and / or bad practices as far as getting a show at a venue that is unfamiliar with your music? Both genuine answers and humorous ones are appreciated.

Anyway, here ya go!

. Know the venue, or....show up Say Anything style on the sidewalk in front. Boombox, trench coat and everything.

. Concentrate on being good before thinking you can play any stage in town.

.  If the venue has a specific/requested way of getting in touch/booking bands/etc., do not stray from that course.

. This. I’ve never worked for a venue where calling the box office is how you get booked there, yet people still do that. A lot.

. Don't put anyone on the guest list. Or, tell your friends and family what time you actually go on. Get used to playing in front of people you don't know. Get used to playing to nobody. Your mom and dad are always gonna tell you the are the most talented kid in school.

. First is having well recorded music. An iPhone video of you playing an open mic is not enough. Play shows wherever you can. No one will think you're garbage for playing a show at a certain venue and having more on your "resume" is always a good thing. Lastly is really just networking, which most people do just not understand. Be friendly and easy to work with, stay in touch with people that you vibe with and something will come along eventually. Not being a dick goes such a long way.

. reate a Facebook event announcing the show, collect 1k people as "Attending." . Rule of thumb, always let the venue owner know ahead of time, like at least 24 hours. that way they have time to clean up and arrange for sound engineers and staff appropriately. Remember, they have a business to run

. Play like your hair is on fire. Thank everyone who talks to you afterwards. Don't go hunting for feedback right after you play. It's bad form.

.  If you're new and do not have a previous body of work locally as any reference... You need to be going to shows as often and regularly as possible just for face recognition. Record a professionally mixed and mastered demo, even if it's only 2 songs. Quit spam emailing venues who get 96885 emails per day from bands and booking agents.. You're local. Go down to the venue and talk to the staff/owner and have your demo in hand. Quit spam emailing asking just to play. Either have a date or two you already want to book or know their upcoming schedule enough to ask if you can be local support for a particular show. If you're going to shows regularly, you should be networking with other local bands.

. Tell the venue to make sure that they have enough whiskey because you're fans will drink "a LOT of whiskey." Also, that you bring at least 350 people to your shows.

. Don't get on social media and talk shit about venues or the scene being snobby or cliques if you're not going to do your part for the benefit of your band. No one here owes you shit.

. From a DIY perspective, finding a strong local to pair with should precede selection of venue or promoter.

. Play live. Don't use backing tracks. If it isn't perfect live that's OK. It's rock n roll.

. It's been said but shake hands/introduce yourself to all the staff at the venue - Security, bar staff, managers, sound/tech, etc.

. My two cents on a local level: Always default to being NICE no matter what level you are on. At some point when you’re old and washed up, those kids that opened for your bands might be nice enough to ask you to open for them one day. Have a demo. Also, tell people what in the hell you sound like. As a person that has played in band, we all hate those labels, but it is OKAY to say who you rip off. I know a lot folks will say that you need to network, but bands usually only network with other bands and not club owners...and I feel like club owners aren’t necessarily networking with bands and/or they probably wouldn’t go check out a “prospective” band when they play at another venue. I guess you could say start networking with other show attendees that are more likely than not to be in a band, work at a venue, etc...and to do this you actually have to go to shows. This is something I wrestle with constantly because I used to try to go to as many shows as possible, but my life just isn’t in a place to where I can do that with much frequency these days. Finally, do your diligence on the club (ie., suitability assessment). Be honest with yourself about the “type” of music you create, where it could fit in on a bill, and which venues will welcome it.

. 1. Create a Facebook page with some badass videos of you slingin' your jams around and gettin' rowdy in the basement. 2. Go to the venue you want to play. Bring in a half filled out job application for a random store, like Blockbuster Video. 3. Crumple it up and throw it at the bar manager, saying "I don't want this dumbass job! I want to ROCK! Put me on at 10:30 or else!" 4. Refuse to leave. And knock some shit over.   5. Wait for the police to arrive and make a scene. Scream your name/band name over and over while being removed from the premises. Don't forget to mention Facebook. 6. Wait for the witnesses to check out and share those badass videos of you from Step 1. Everyone loves talking shit about crazy people. 7. You've made it. Have a great career.

. set all of your money on fire and cuss out all of your best friends.

. First: Starting a band is a bad idea, what the fuck are you thinking?! Second: Have some sort of “proof” your band does indeed exist(you’d be surprised, or maybe not) i.e. Halfway decent demo, doesn’t have to be perfect just listenable. Third: Be patient. You’re going to get told “No”. Many times. In fact, you should probably not contact a venue on your own, if they don’t know you from Adam’s house cat. Be humble, polite, don’t cause trouble, and put on a good show, and they may just contact you. It may take a while, but if you’re willing to work your ass off, you’ll get into that “Oh so rad venue of venues that we HAVE to play”.

. Good: adapt to the venue's booking requirements and follow through by meeting/exceeding the booker's expectations. There's no one way to get a show, so be prepared for every requirement or potential way to sweeten the pot that you can be. When you get an opportunity, crush it.

Bad: Bullshit draw. If you can only draw 20 people, find a venue and time slot where 20 people is a good thing instead of promising 50. Piss off the staff. Play too loud. Play too long. Start too late. Suck at tuning. Play to the wrong room; your theatrical death metal band should definitely throw cow blood on cafe patrons after a poetry reading.

. Don’t try booking at a venue that won’t be accommodating to your 747 jet engine loud ass wall of sonic death. Also, don’t try booking a tiny show at a BIG venue. The last couple of years of Throng of Shoggoths MKI, we were invited to play a local music fest for the second year in a row. The year before the venue we played had plenty of PA and room, and the right patrons. The next year, well they tried to put us at Rouge Tavern. Can you fucking imagine that band in that place? We said “No thanks, we’ll probably blow the windows out, and scare ALL of their business away”.

. Leather pants. And a picture of your band wearing them.