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#whoops now i ship them too hard
tofuxtea · 7 months
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𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊 + “𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑” 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒 | 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚 + 𝙘𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜
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𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 — dracule mihawk x fem!reader x shanks
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 — nsfw, threesome, cuckholding, fingering, praise (shanks), teasing + edging (mihawk), reader is shanks’ lover, shanks has both arms for the sake of the plot, porn with plot, “mama” and “sweetheart” are used by shanks, “darling” and “naughty girl” are used by mihawk, p in v sex, shanks watches mihawk fuck his girl and gets off to it!
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 — 2.7k words. got this idea from the ending scene where mihawk brings shanks luffy’s wanted poster. they gave such divorced husbands energy and i fucking loved it so much. also what i wouldn’t kill to be in between these two anyways ??! [kinktober m.list]
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“bring out the reserve booze, boys.”
your captain had loudly cheered upon discovering the bounty that had been set on an old apprentice of his. that was nearly four hours ago, a rowdy party slowly beginning to wind down.
a majority of your fellow crew-mates had passed out by now, strewn out around in the sand and drunkenly muttering incoherencies in their sleep. the rest were sharing stories by the fire they were lighting, seeing as the sun was giving its final fiery orange hue from the horizon. night would come not long after.
you were still among the living, slowly working on your third cup of the night while swinging in shanks’ hammock. the man himself was busy with the remnants of his crew while they started the nightly bonfire, laughing and celebrating with them.
you smiled towards the man before you broke out into a yawn, realizing you had partied pretty hard that night. it was starting to wind down anyways, who was going to miss you for the rest of it?
so you stumbled out of the hammock with your drink in your hand and started to where the red force had been docked for the week, pausing when you heard a familiar voice calling for you.
“where’re you off to, sweetheart?” shanks asked, playfully swatting at beckman and roux as they not-so-quietly shot suggestive jokes at their captain.
you only smiled back. “off to the ship. you can come join me in a few if you’d like.” you remarked before strutting off, shaking your head as you walked when you heard the boys’ whoops and shouts at the wink you’d given him.
you trekked through the sand for a while before you were aboard the red force, heading straight for yours and shanks sleeping quarters. yet once you ducked inside the dinette, you were stopped short with a shout.
mihawk, shanks’ old rival and the one who had informed them of one monkey d. luffy’s bounty, sat at the dining bench, yellow eyes piercing right through you the second you walked in. “good god, mihawk.” you clutched your chest. “what’re you doin’ in here?” you asked him, laughing lightly.
“the party’s out there, you know.” he replied lazily, swirling the glass he had definitely taken from the ship’s cupboard before taking a sip.
“i should be telling you that.” you squinted warily at his cup. “that better not be shanks’ stashed booze.”
oh, it most definitely was. you could tell by the color alone. how he’d even found it was a mystery, though. he never told anybody where he hid his special liquor. but you only rolled your eyes and took a seat beside him, slumping back with a sigh. “party’s almost over.” you replied softly. “i’m surprised you stayed for so long. figured you’d have a lotta marine work to tend to.”
“i don’t work for them.” mihawk quickly shot you a narrow glance. then he paused and his eyes lowered to his cup. “i’m surprised he asked me to stay.”
“ah.” you nodded understandingly as you took a sip of your own drink. “i was, too. it’s been a while since we’ve last seen you, you know.”
mihawk seemed to pick up on the little underlying suggestiveness in your voice and you noticed his eyebrows pinch together. but it wasn’t hardly the reaction you wanted.
truth was, you’d known him since he was shanks’ rival. the two engaged in battles constantly when they were younger, but over the years they grew farther and farther apart until they just stopped.
the two seemed to form a strange alliance a couple of years ago, which had unintentionally blossomed into something much more not long after that. with you being a key member of shanks’ crew and his lover, you often joined the two for drinks whenever they were together.
sometimes you guys would have too many. the first time it ever happened, it was completely unexpected. it was most definitely the alcohol that had you straddling mihawk’s lap, bucking into the hand between your legs while shanks watched the both of you, painfully hard in his pants.
the second time, however, was not the alcohol anymore. nor were the handful of times after that.
it went on for months. you were shared between the two men more times than you could count on your two hands. it had gotten to the point where you believed mihawk only wanted to pop up for drinks for that reason alone, seeing as the man would vanish not long after you and shanks would knock out. then, as his and shanks’ battles had been, he stopped coming by as often. and then he stopped completely.
the two of you tried to keep regular tabs on the man — not necessarily out of concern for his safety seeing as he had been deemed one of the seven warlords of the sea, but out of sheer curiosity — but eventually it became a second thought. while shanks was well aware that mihawk would never get off of his tail for any reason, you doubted that. at first you believed he was bored of the two of you. maybe he was looking for something new, which didn’t tie you into knots. maybe it was partly out of shame.
shame from having drunkenly fucked his old rival’s lover right in front of him. shame from having done it over and over for months. shame from having enjoyed it a little bit too much.
no matter the reason he once had, he was back now. he’d traveled from wherever he had once been to give shanks a piece of paper. a piece of paper that the crew would have stumbled onto regardless — seeing as the bounty that they were celebrating was the highest in all of the east blue. the kid would’ve become a ship-hold name in no time. and as you stared at the side of mihawk’s motionless face, you knew that he knew that, too.
“you’ve missed me, darling?” you knew he was baiting you the second that name left his mouth, and fortunately for him it was working. your lips slowly curled upwards into an impish smirk and you breathed out a weak laugh.
“you could say that.” you replied with a shrug. you weren’t planning on losing to his games so quickly. he’d made you wait so damn long, after all. “didn’t you?” feigning cluelessness, you leaned into him and slid your palm over his clothed leg.
mihawk didn’t flinch, glancing first at the hand that slowly started moving upwards and then into your eyes. for the first time that night, he stared at you. his eyes were squinted slightly like he was questioning your actions, even though he was well aware of what you were doing.
part of you had not an inkling of knowledge of what he was thinking about. he’d left his cup onto the table in front of him, letting you know you had his attention, but his expression was unreadable, as was his body. but all it took was one look into his yellow eyes that washed away all of your doubt. those never lied to you. you looked down at his lips, running your tongue over your own as you found yourself craving him. his touch, his lips, him.
he brought his hand up to your face, gently pinching your jaw between his fingers as he tilted your head back just a little bit. “i did.” he finally admitted after a long and tense silence. he spoke quietly now, like if he was even slightly too loud, the moment would end.
yet it still did. a noise coming from the entrance made both of your heads turn, and shanks froze as he shut the door behind him, eyeing the scene before him. then he broke out into a wide grin. “i see you got to her before i could.” he took his bottom lip between his teeth as he strode up to the table, eyeing you like a piece of meat. “how ‘bout we take this to bed before the others come lookin’ f’me, hm?”
you could smell the booze on his breath as he pulled you to your feet. you followed him to the room you shared with him, mihawk at your side with his hand pressed into the small of your back. you swore you could see a gentle smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he walked, but you’d forgotten all about it once the door shut behind you and shanks pounced on you.
his lips crashed onto yours, wasting no time to push his tongue into your mouth. you moaned, all of the fight leaving your body as he guided you towards the bed. he had a tight grip on your wrist, his other hand squeezing your exposed hip with lust-fueled fervor. you could feel mihawk’s gaze on the both of you and soon you heard his coat hit the ground. your top was next, shanks releasing you only to peel the tight shirt from your torso and toss it aside.
both pairs of eyes shamelessly raked down your naked body, shanks wasting no time to get rid of your shorts next.
“don’t just stare now, mihawk.” you spoke with a devilish smile as you sat yourself on the edge of the bed. the man got the message and followed you, slotting himself between your legs and caging you between his arms. you gently squeezed his hips with your thighs with a giggle before pulling him down into a heated kiss, grasping the brim of his hat and throwing it into the growing pile of clothes on the floor. mihawk groaned against your lips and he bucked into your clothed heat, drawing a whine from you.
your fingers raked through his hair, pulling at his dark ruffled curls each time he would rock his hips into yours. “mihawk,” you purred his name into his ear the moment he pulled away, enjoying the way his breath slightly hitched at the sound of your voice. your hand dove between your bodies and you desperately tugged at the waistband of his pants. “please. need you so badly.” you mindlessly babbled on.
“i’ve never seen her this desperate,” shanks whispered as he crept up behind you on the bed. “c’mon, mama, use your words. tell him where you want him.” the red-haired man looped his arms underneath your armpits, pulling you flush against his chest. he spoke tauntingly, a shit-eating smirk on his face as he looked down at you.
you whined, eyes squeezing shut with what felt like agonizing pain. “need you inside me, please.” you writhed in shanks’ hold, trying to rut up into mihawk’s clothed erection.
“you’ve already made her wait this long.” shanks now stared at mihawk with a lazy grin, waiting to see what he’d do next.
he shot shanks a narrow glance before turning back to you, eyeing the tears that were welling in your waterline because of him. “i suppose i have.” your eyes lit up at his confession and you waited for him to fulfill your wishes.
instead, he lifted himself off of you, completely deaf to your garbled protests, and lowered himself onto his knees beside the bed. you jumped when he pressed the pad of his finger against the damp spot on your panties, his eyes finding yours. “already so wet and i haven’t even touched you yet. naughty girl.” he spoke lowly as he hooked his slender fingers into the waistband of your panties and peeled them down your legs.
mihawk hooked your legs over his shoulders as he pressed a gentle kiss to your inner thigh. you very poorly bit back a cry and let your head fall back onto shanks’ shoulder. he laughed softly.
“so noisy already, aren’t ya, sweetheart?”
mihawk’s lips drew closer and closer to where you needed him most, drinking up every single noise you made because of him. his hand left your thigh and he started circling your clit with his thumb, watching your face morph with pleasure. you writhed around, wanting so desperately to squeeze your legs shut or card your fingers through his hair, but shanks had your arms restrained behind your back.
you bit your lip to keep your cries from spilling out each time mihawk brushed over your sensitive clit. the sensation was already winding up the coil in your gut and you could feel your orgasm building up fast.
“c’mon, sweetheart, let us hear those pretty noises. for us, hm?” shanks cooed into your ear, one of his arms releasing its hold on you to grasp your jaw, his thumb pushing past your lips and onto the flat of your tongue.
you gasped at the intrusion, and mihawk took your moment of weakness to slide his middle and ring fingers into your cunt. you choked against an obscene moan, and your walls clenched around his digits.
“there we go.” shanks mumbled, satisfied as more and more moans spilled from your mouth with each thrust of mihawk’s fingers. “ya sound so pretty for us, mama.”
mihawk was unrelenting, thrusting his fingers inside of you to the knuckle and keeping the pace he knew melted you every time. he could sense your orgasm nearing as your cries grew higher and your thighs started to tremble in his grasp.
he kept going until you were just about to come crashing down, your eyes squeezed shut with anticipation when he suddenly pulled his fingers out.
a sob tore from your throat. “no, nonono, mihawk!” you tried to chase after him as he lifted himself to his feet, but shanks held you securely in place.
it was pitiful, really.
“no need to cry, darling, you’ll get what you want.” mihawk towered over you, gently wiping the fat tear that had rolled down your temple. it was then that you became aware of the distance shanks had put between you and himself. your arms were freed from his grasp, but it wasn’t like you had the strength or mind to use them.
mihawk’s other hand swiftly nudged his pants down his hips, just enough to free his hard cock, before swooping down to catch you in a deep kiss. you moaned into his mouth, drinking in the taste of booze that still lingered on his tongue.
the man pushed himself inside of you, groaning softly into your ear as your velvety walls sucked him in. you cried out and grasped his arms to try to keep yourself grounded. “mihawk!” you moaned when he started thrusting, his pace already unrelenting.
you could hear shanks just beside you, groaning lowly at the sight before him while he jerked his aching cock in his fist. he stared at your face, which was twisted up with utter pleasure, through hooded lids.
a cry slipped from your lips with each of mihawk’s slow, deep thrusts. it was a feeling so familiar yet so foreign after so long of not having him. you’d almost forgotten how perfectly he filled you up, how he was able to hit every single blissful spot inside of you.
you clung to him, your nails gently digging into his skin while he planted sloppy kisses to your neck. you knew they would blossom into bruises that you wouldn’t be able to explain to the rest of the crew the next day.
it didn’t take much longer before you were close, barely able to warn mihawk of your quickly approaching orgasm. but he already knew. he could tell by the way your eyes squeezed shut and how your whines had gotten much higher than before.
“that’s it, darling. just let go.” his palm soothingly slid up and down the side of your waist while he fucked you through your orgasm. your knuckles went white with how tightly you held his biceps and your head lulled back as a string of incoherent curses and moans flew from your swollen lips.
shanks’ breath hitched at the unfolding scene. “fuck, you look so pretty when you come, sweetheart. just for us.” he spoke against gritted teeth as his own orgasm washed over him, thick ropes of cum painting his own hand.
mihawk pulled out moments later, his seed landing on your lower stomach with a groan. his hooded eyes lingered on your cunt, messy with your own cum as it started to drip out of you. the sight nearly made him hard again within seconds.
you laid still, taking a minute to catch your breath when a low laugh from shanks made you pick your head back up.
“don’t fall asleep on us now, mama, we ain’t done yet.”
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something about shanks and the word “mama” has done something irreversible and irreparable to my brain chemistry.
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deadsetobsessions · 28 days
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REVERSE TROPE WRITING PROMPT BY @out-of-jams
TOO MANY BEDS
DCXDP, GEN
——
The Wayne foundation was a giant in the corporate world. What made it impressive was that their company was based in Gotham where, despite or perhaps in spite of the frequent rogue attacks and general hostile environment, the Waynes managed to run a tight and efficient ship. Their operations run extremely smoothly.
However, that was not to say there were no mistakes. There were. Wayne Enterprises usually had enough-more than enough- budget to cover such mistakes.
The employees, after all, were humans (though their new CEO, Timothy Drake, might have been a vampire considering how pale he was) and were prone to make mistakes.
Thus, due to the nature of human mistakes, the visiting senior class of Amity Park’s Casper High found themselves in a rather baffling situation.
“Well, we can’t say there’s not enough beds.” Their chaperone-teacher, Mr. Lancer rubbed the back of his bald head.
Before them laid not ten, not twenty, but fifty five twin beds arranged in neat rows in Gotham Academy’s auditorium.
“What is this, the military?” Their other chaperone-teacher, Mr. Falluca, grumbled.
“It’s not like we haven’t slept in worse places.” Sam grimaced. The class collective shuddered as they remembered the junior camping trip from hell.
“Ugh, my hair is going to get frizzy if we sleep here.” Paulina muttered.
“I thought we were getting called here for cheer or something.” Star frowned. Her boyfriend of four years, Kwan, slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to comfort her.
The doors open as a harried Wayne Industries employee ran in.
“I am so, so sorry! This isn’t where we were supposed to have you stay but WE mistook the donation request and sent in beds instead of paying for hotel rooms!” They blurted out, looking panicked. “Your hosting class - we’ll have you meet them outside, maybe?”
“It’s fine, right guys?” Danny spoke up, arms crossed. Tucker hummed at his side, tapping quickly at his
“Yeah, whatever Fentina says,” Dash grumbled. After the reveal of Danny’s identity as Phantom, his hostility and bullying died a quick death. Though, Dash kept the nicknames as they were a hard habit to kick and there weren’t any malicious intent behind it. In fact, Dash quickly became one of Danny’s biggest supporters, hidden behind scowls and general posturing.
“We could just meet in here. Get rid of the bedframes and just have a giant sleepover while you guys get everything sorted out.” Valerie volunteered.
“That’s a great idea!”
The class, coordinated from years of ghost attacks, quickly assembled the giant floor mattress. Gotham Academy’s senior class filed in ten minutes later, gaping at the giant floor mattress(es) before whooping and joining Casper High’s seniors in tumbling around.
——
Danny threw an empty plastic water bottle at Kwan’s head.
“Hey! No PDA on the giant mattress!”
“Yeah, get that love shit out of here!” Someone else hollered.
“There might technically be only one bed, now, but it’s still multiple mattresses!” Stephanie Brown, one of Gotham Academy’s seniors heckled.
“Hey, Danny, it’s your turn for truth or dare!” Tim said.
“Truth.” Danny returned.
“Lameeee.”
“C’mon Fenturd, too chicken to do dare?”
“Danny, that’s so boring,” Sam smirked.
Danny scowled. “Hey, whose side are you on?”
Sam and Tucker grinned and said in unison, “The winning side, duh.”
Tim cut in. “So, what’s the worst thing that’s happened to you?”
Danny groaned. “Camping trip, no contest.”
“Camping trip?”
——
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doobea · 5 months
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DAYTIME SHOOTING STAR - REO MIKAGE
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synopsis: Being a college student sucks. Having a crush on your best friend also sucks. Your best friend having a crush on your other best friend is . . . kinda the worst. In which, Reo is hopelessly in love with you but you’re hard crushing on Nagi.
-> MASTERLIST. -> PLAYLIST.
contents: second lead syndrome feat. fem!reader & reo, heavy narration in the beginning as per usual whoops, also in an au where bluelock never happened LOL, grandparental meeting, reo x stardew valley vibes, of course y/n and reo get together duh, nagi's been shipping them together since high school word count: 3.9K a/n: FINAL PART OUT YAY :3 thank you for joining me on this journey hehe this was also my first time attempt of writing reo so hopefully his characterization went ok ;-;
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VEGA -> prev.
You get the feeling that Nagi is up to something, after a while.
Well, Nagi is always up to something — gaming and dozing off, to be exact. This time, though, all of his attention seems to be fixated on you.
“That’s not your sweater,” he says, pointedly, one day, when you waltz into their apartment with a handful of pastries. You decided to make a detour trip to a local bakery earlier in the morning, carefully curating the palettes of the two males because —well— after that happened you felt like a small offering would be needed in a way. 
Like how many others delegate, the kiss was rather… confusing to all. Nagi doesn’t bring it up when you three all return back to festival grounds, nor does he bring it up to Reo when you finally go home. Reo’s been texting you like all things are normal, and you guess it’s because he doesn’t really know what to do either. Though, he’s been more endearing than usual over text, which you take as a sign that something is progressing.
Let’s just say that it’ll be weird for you to wake up without a ‘good morning, did you eat yet?’ text from a certain billionaire’s son.
Backstory aside, Nagi’s not lounging around for once. He’s leaning against the kitchen counter with a freshly brewed cup of coffee in his hands from a brand you’re not familiar with. Judging by its fine print font and pastel color scheme, you assumed that Nana stopped by not too long ago. And his gaze isn’t leaving your sweater. Whatever, you’re probably not wearing it correctly anyway. Stupid rich people problems.
“It’s Reo’s,” you say, lightly, and scoot by him to place down the baked goods. “He accidentally gave me his sweater when he returned my things, that’s all.” 
It wasn’t an accident. Reo had made sure to spray that sweater with all the cologne he had. The sweater is warm, comfortable, and smells just like him. It’s nice.
Nagi gives you a look. It’s not a strong look, but it’s obvious enough to make your cheeks heat up. “Uh huh,” he deadpans before giving you a full up-down. “You’re wearing it, though.”
“Yeah, I am,” you shrug it off, trying to pretend that you don’t understand what the big deal was. 
Okay, yeah, your best friend suddenly kisses you and now you’re rethinking about your life choices since high school because you were so sure that you liked his other friend. And the fact that you kissed back? Was that supposed to happen? And you didn’t wear this sweater today in hopes of Reo seeing you, nope that’s not it. Reo doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy because this sweater does all of that. It’s a comfort thing and Reo doesn’t bring you comfort… right?
You apparently have some cheesy expression written all over your face, though, and that causes Nagi to pinch your cheek to snap you back to reality. “Suits you,” Nagi decides to end the topic before shifting to the main subject. “Reo’s out this morning.”
“I wasn’t trying to see him,” you grumble out, eyes narrowing as you fix yourself a latte and adding way too many shots of espresso to fight off your internal turmoil. You add a large serving of caramel syrup to balance out the bitterness and then top it off with a heavy serving of whipped cream, sighing happily as you get a mouthful of the sugary concoction within the first sip.
Nagi simply shakes his head and drains the rest of his drink in one go. “Well, he’s been talking about you nonstop, if that makes—” Nagi stops in his tracks when he watches your ears perk up. “—you happy…”
At this point, Nagi probably thinks everyone is in on a poorly executed inside joke, except for him. He doesn’t like it, but what can he do? His two best friends are now awkwardly pinning each other and neither of them are sparing him any details. Then again, he’s not sure if he wants all the details. So, instead of poking a dead fish around, he exits to the living room and throws on a weekly series that he’s been meaning to catch up on. These past two months have been quite tiring.
You eventually join him on the couch, body now running on full blast of caffeine and loads of caramel. “Sei, tell me everything that he’s said, please?” and you throw out your best attempt at puppy eyes because you know that Nagi has always been horrible at saying no to these kinds of things.
But maybe getting a girlfriend has changed him, somewhat.
“You’ll hear it from him, eventually,” Nagi simply answers, smiling.
Of course, regardless of how many times you repeat yourself, Nagi would spit back the same response. Since when did he start caring for Reo’s secrecy all of a sudden? Pretty lame. You zone out when an action sequence comes on the screen and begin texting Reo.
‘where are you’ You text over a character monologue in the background.
‘At some stores, picking up last minute gifts for later.’ Reo replies back with a series of emojis.
By ‘stores’, you would only guess it’s nothing but high-end designer stuff. ‘Gifts’ implying that he’s buying multiple for your family and relatives. ‘Later’ is when the two of you will depart on visiting your hometown for the weekend because it turns out Reo was actually serious about taking up your off-handed comment.
‘i told you not to get anything!!’ You send an angry emoji right after. 
Nagi is absolutely reading over your shoulder, too, and if looks could kill, you’re pretty sure you’d be in a million pieces, burning to bits on the floor. “Got a hot date with Reo, huh?”
“Well, you didn’t want to come and we’re not dating…” you huff before pushing him away. “And stop reading my texts!”
“Don’t text while I’m watching my show, it’s distracting.” Nagi shoots back, and you don’t really have an argument for that.
Though, you just glare at him until he eventually backs off and you go back to texting Reo, a bit more subtly, talking about various expensive gifts that he can get instead of showing up to your family doorsteps with diamonds and silk robes. You haven’t had anyone from the city come visit your hometown, so you’re a little nervous to say the least. Especially since someone accompanying you is several tax brackets ahead…though Reo wouldn’t judge you differently. Because he likes you, in more ways than one. Fuck.
You’re ignoring a lot of things happening right now, and bringing him over to meet your family is making you feel weird. Ugh, whatever.
In the end, Reo ends up returning half of his purchases because apparently designer bags and jewelry won't serve your grandparents that well in their everyday lives. So he opts to buy them expensive fruits instead. Fruits are already expensive in the country, so when Reo showed up with boxed grapes that costed more than your current outfit, you could've sworn your eyes were about to pop out of your sockets.
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Reo should’ve known better than to wear anything remotely formal when he agreed to come visit your hometown. Tailored suits are expensive and difficult to replace and, from what he’s experienced within the past hour, the mud that’s been splattered all over his dress shoes and pants haven’t gone away no matter how much cleaning reagent he’s used so far. But complaints are off the table, no matter how much he absolutely wants to point out the sweltering heat and the lack of air conditioning in your home. 
The plane ride over wasn’t any better. You blatantly refused to use his credit card for first-class seating upgrades regardless how many times he’d begged you.
“It’ll only be a two hour flight, Reo. Plus, economy isn’t that bad.” You reasoned. 
Oh, but it was.
He’s a gentleman and gentlemen should always let others pick which seat they want first. Window seat was a non negotiable for you, and he didn’t really mind. What he did mind was the random stranger seated to his right.
Screen brightness — max.
Volume settings — max.
Chewing noises — sadly, also max.
It’s a miracle that he didn’t flag down an attendant and leave you for first class. Well, flight aside, landing happens and, inevitably, comes the next part.
“Are you enjoying your stay so far?”
Your grandmother comes into view, coming to Reo’s rescue with a sunhat and a bottle of water, and the basket next to her was already filled to the brim with all types of vegetable assortments from the garden. Reo graciously takes the hat and sips of the water before glancing down at his own basket, which is very much barren. He thought offering to help with harvesting will win him some brownie points, but he should’ve known how dirty it would get.
“It’s definitely different from what I’m used to, but it’s nice here.” He’s honest about the last part. 
The city doesn’t offer much in terms of parks and recreational activities and, despite the fact he’s pretty sure his button up is practically attached to his skin and that there’s probably a centipede (or two) crawling in his shoes, the whole nature thing is pretty serene. Your parents’ old home is a cozy cottage right off the side of the country road, surrounded by rice paddy fields with a wide range of mountains in the backdrop. Occasionally, Reo would see truck drivers making pit stops out in the front to either pick up a small shipment or make small talk with your grandfather — it’s completely foreign to him given that he’s so used to the stuffy business world. Seeing all of this makes Reo understand why some would enjoy a life of simple living and solitude. 
Your grandmother laughs. “We were afraid that you wouldn’t like it here.”
To this, Reo digs his hands back into the soil and pulls out a set of carrots in hands. “Sorry, did I give off that impression?” Says the boy who’s currently dressed head to toe in formal wear. Idiot. 
“Our granddaughter has been…” she trails off for a moment, finger pursed to her lips and head tilted, before finishing. “She’s been blowing up the family group chat about this trip for a while now. Safe to say she’s been worried.” 
Oh. That’s news.
Reo wipes off the puddle of sweat from his face and straightens his back. “It’s beautiful and peaceful here, you wouldn’t be able to get this back in the city. Everyone’s been really nice and the food,” he points down to the field. “You wouldn’t be able to get these without them costing an arm and a leg for the sake of being ‘organic’.”
“Sounds like you want to move here.”
And for the sake of earning those brownie points, “Yeah, I can see myself doing that one day.”
“Imagine that. Can’t stay away from our granddaughter, right?” she teases, and it causes him to do a double take.
“W-What?”
She ignores Reo’s stammering and hands him a pair of gloves and a metal bucket. “Once you finish picking the rest, come meet me by the farmhouse, the cows need some attention.”
Reo might have to rethink his career path after this trip.
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“Can you tell your cousins to knock it off, please?” Your best friend is grumbling and hiding behind you for all things safety related.
One thing you forgot to mention, outside of the laborious work, is that your little cousins are an absolute menace to outsiders. The youngest one has been non stop terrorizing Reo around the house with a live grasshopper while the older one keeps throwing him glares and middle fingers. This has been going on right after dinner and Reo’s getting really sick of them and their chattering about how they hate seeing you with someone that needs ‘pampering’.
You huff and roll your eyes playfully. “You think I haven’t tried shutting them up?”
“Good point,” Reo groans from behind. He’s gripping your shoulders as if he’s on life support, shaking every time the youngest one raises the grasshopper closer. “Can’t you just give them an iPad or anything?”
“And what? So they can turn into those kids who stare at a screen all day? No thank you.” You tease, but you give your cousins a final stern look before getting to their eye level. 
Reo watches, silent but amused, as you pluck the insect out of the boy’s grasp and pinch his cheek with a light tug, not enough to shed tears but enough to cause him to yelp. You motion the older one over, who just grumbles under his breath but obeys anyway.
“Big sis, we swear we’re just playing together—” the older one starts, and you simply respond with a hard head shake.
“That’s not how we treat guests in our home. Last time I checked, you guys didn’t like it when I made you clean out the pig pen for fun,” you retort with a casual grin. “Time to head back to auntie’s place anyway, it’s way past your bedtimes.”
Both of them sigh in defeat, but that doesn’t stop them from throwing up a pair of middle fingers at Reo. Hey, down with the rich — they’re on the right track in life. And you know deep down they’re just looking out for you ever since your experience in high school, even if the hatred towards city folks is on the extreme side.
You’re stifling a laugh as the pair leave the house. Reo loosens his grip on your shoulders when they are out of ear shot and nudges your sides because you still have that damn grasshopper in your hands.
“Puke or cry in my house and I’m making you sleep with the cows tonight.” The threat is spoken casually, with a bit of affection to it, but Reo knows damn well it’s a valid threat.
“I’m not going to puke or cry,” he replies, haughtily. “And, for the record, I helped the cows earlier today so I’m practically their mother.”
“Oh yeah, thanks for that, you didn’t have to.” You gently toss the grasshopper out the kitchen window, making sure it landed on a patch of soft grass. “Grandma was constantly raving about you after you finished. Saying something about planning the next weekend trip together.”
“Yeah, might as well help around, you know?” Reo weakly chuckles and briefly looks down at his hands. What he doesn’t add is that his hands are going to be sore for the next few days and that maybe your grandparents think he’s going to move in with them in the future. Something of that sort.
“It’s not the worst idea,” You grin. The sun is down, and the stars in the sky are starting to poke through. You catch Reo trying to get a good look before an idea pops up. “My room has a pretty good view of everything, if you want to head up?” You would offer to lay outside but, considering that the ecosystem here offers much bigger bugs, you decided against it.
Unsurprisingly, Reo takes up on the suggestion.
Your old bedroom is sparsely furnished, and that’s intentional. Most of your personal belongings are currently at your college apartment. All that’s left is a full sized bed, an old boxy television with an equally old boxy stand, a couple of bookshelves stuffed full of children's books, and one of those large colorful beanbags by the window sill. 
It’s a nice bedroom, for all things considered. A lot more vibrant and has more character than Reo’s old bedroom growing up. From what he’s shown you before, his bedroom was almost a black and white minimalist’s wet dream. 
“It’s a bit dusty, hope you don’t mind.”
Your bedroom window has a nice view of the mountain side, and Reo’s quickly distracted by the swarm of fireflies and night stars as he quickly shoves his suitcase into the corner and settles on your bed without a second thought. 
“I like it,” He replies, in a careful, casual voice. And maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear, your best friend sounds both anxious and excited, and maybe there’s a hint of nerves in there, too. Whatever it is, your stomach is back to doing those weird flips.
You try to think. You’re aware of several things right now. First, your best friend is making himself very comfortable in your bed. Second, he’s giving you a look, one that just screams some sort of smug superiority. Third, despite it being humid and warm in your room, you really just want to bury your face into his shoulder. Maybe you should climb in with him, look at the stars together, curled up and snuggling, maybe even run your fingers through his hair, and—
“So,” Reo interrupts and snaps you out of your strange reverie. “You’re sleeping on the floor, right?”
“Huh?” your voice is bleary, and your thoughts are kinda far off. Reo shuffles his way under your sheets and suddenly you put two and two together. “I saved you from those little demons and this is the thanks I get?” 
“I deserve it since I worked,” Reo sighs, dramatically, when you finally find the courage to sit down on the ends of the mattress. “Or did you want to share it together?” Tease oozes into his tone.
That last bit makes your heart skip a couple of beats. Alcohol wasn’t in the dinner mix and, even if it was, Reo would never be this bold in front of you. Perhaps there’s something floating in the summer air.
“Stop pretending that you live here,” but you eventually settle yourself underneath the blankets too, just on the other side to put some good inches in between.
Reo’s smiling, and that’s all that matters. It doesn’t bother you when he manages to hog all the blankets and the limited amount of pillows. He’s a gentleman, but also has his needy side that he’s not afraid of showing. Not to mention that he looks good in the dim lighting, even though he’s only been wearing one of your grandpa’s old t-shirts after working in the field. It finally makes the strange fluttering in your stomach calm into a steady, present warmth, and that’s maybe more problematic, but you don’t give it any real thought.
Reo speaks up after a few passing heartbeats. “Can I… say something?” 
You swallow thickly. “Go for it.”
It can’t be just your imagination, the way Reo’s mouth parts, just a little, the way his tongue is dating out to wet his lips. You’re leaning forward, hand reaching down between. You can’t stop looking at him. 
“I want…” Reo tries to say, but his throat is a giant lump.
“Reo,” You breathe out in response, head tipping, “If you keep looking at me like that, then…”
It comes in swift moments, with Reo pressed close, with both of your hips bumping together, with arms slung over the other’s shoulder. There’s been those moments of laughter, where it feels as if the whole world has faded away in a blur beyond the gaze of your best friend. It’s cliche and dumb, but you feel, in a way, that you’ve been looking at Reo for your life. And you have, really, because he’s always been there for you.
There’s a lot of things that Reo could say. They’re burning on his tongue, building in his throat, getting stuck there. He should just push them out, just say it. Or, maybe, he should say nothing at all, because that wonder and those answers are all reflected in your gaze.
Both of you are so close that he can make out every strand of your lashes. He can see the subtle shift of color in your eyes, the dark band increasing around your pupils, that slight nervous glimmer there. It’s got Reo’s heart pounding in his chest, hammering to be freed. He’s got one hand pressed into the small of your back, stroking there, slow and affectionate. His other hand is trembling, just a little, and he steadies himself bracing it against your cheek.
It’s got you shivering, and Reo realizes that you’re both a bit terrified.
“I want to be yours,” Reo might be nervous as hell, but he steels his voice, and brushes your lips together, he’s so close, when he talks. “I can’t think about anything else when I’m with you. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but—”
“Reo,” you take the initiative here, shifting closer, and settling your lips close to his neck. “It’s okay. I want you too.”
You take another inch forward and Reo allows it. Maybe you’re both getting more comfortable with each other. Maybe getting brave and feeling more grown up. Likely, it’s a combination of everything, and a good dose of ‘fuck it’s, from being young, and dumb, despite it all.
You’re not sure who leans in first but, before it even fully registers, his lips glide over yours. There’s some awkward teeth clacking involved, probably from the fact both of you are way too full of nerves over this, but Reo fixes it and begins to trace his tongue over the small opening of your lips. You move your hands straight to his locks, still damp from the earlier shower he took and the scent of lemongrass and citrus invades your nostrils.
Reo's kissing you as if he wants to swallow you whole. It's hungry, desperate, and intimate in a way that made your heart swell triple in size. The sounds of your beating chest floods your ears as he's pouring his emotions into the kiss, making sure that he's leaving behind evidence that his soul is yours to claim. The heat radiating off his body pulls you in, like an invitation, and you sink further into his touch.
After a moment, you pull back, hands still entangled in his hair.
“Your parents, aren’t you worried about—”
“I don’t pay mind to that type of stuff,” he presses a firm kiss on your forehead. “And you shouldn't have to either. That’s a future thing to worry about.”
That sounds good, you agree, but you’re growing too sleepy to voice it. Instead, you shut your eyes, reaching over blindly to find the edges of the blankets, tugging it up over you two. There’s really no way to move, without cramming at the edge of the mattress. You don’t care, and Reo doesn’t seem to, either.
“Hey, Reo?” You mumble as you both slip into silence.
“Yeah?” He’s tried, but awake enough to shake past the exhaustion, enough to form vague words. “What is it?”
You sit up, just a little, and it’s enough to inspire Reo to force his eyes open. You’re watching him, eyes intent, shining bright with emotion. It’s almost — just almost — enough to have Reo saying those three special little words. They’re right there, on the tip of his tongue, and only then he realizes that he’s terribly in love with you. He’s hopelessly in love. It’s way too early to say it, but he is.
You laugh, burying your face in Reo’s neck again, pressing a kiss there. “I’m glad that you’re here with me.”
Reo has hesitated a lot, during the past months. It’s taken him a while to get here. For once, though, awake or dreaming, it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t hesitate. 
“I’m glad too,” he mumbles, and then, he’s dreaming, of endless what if’s and possibilities with you now in his life.
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© 2023 DOOBEA. do not copy any of my writing and translate/repost.
additional note: idk why it took me over a month to pump this out LMAO but i hope you guys like the ending bc i was mulling over this chapter so many times before deciding to end it as such... anyways, I WILL BE BACK INTO MY BLLK FIC GROOVE HEHE gotta focus on my milestone fics + that ice skating rin series next :3 i love you guys and thanks again for being patient with me ;3
TAGLIST -CLOSED
@celestair @kitorin @popponn @yoisami @anurst @katsukiiishoe @yuzurins @vitaniangel-blog @kunikame @miwafei @astruoise @faeroow @wooasecret @limerence-lu @jaynawayna @iloveblogging2 @futuristicxie @rinlvr @au-ghosttype @wavetokio @yuusami @phtogravi @funnibunneh @idontevenknow129 @startaee @darthvada @livelaughloveisagiyoichi
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monstersinthecosmos · 3 months
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I know you probably don’t want to dwell on the show and the negative but I absolutely hate what has happened on here and how hateful people are in the VC fandom it’s just very demoralizing and makes me want to retreat from anything besides the books completely. The discourse was spicy before the show but everything is just even more divisive now and it has sucked the fun out of it. Not really an ask more of a vent sorry
Hi there!
You’re correct that I don’t particularly find it fun to dwell on the negative stuff – as you said yourself, SOMETIMES THE DISCOURSE SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF IT. But I do understand how you feel and I want to say a couple things and I hope this helps you find a groove.
First of all, I did my best not to acknowledge it too much because I didn’t want to validate the folks who were being cunts to me lol, but please know that this fandom (at least on Tumblr) has ALWAYS been kinda fucking violent towards me LOL. I started VC tumbling back in 2016 and it’s ALWAYS been a fucking trash fire. It is hard out there for Marius stans lmfao.
Like, when I was first posting on Tumblr and acclimating to the Tumblr culture it was so much of like, me feeling brave enough to share meta only for someone to be RB’ing me to tell me I’m wrong, or me talking about how much I liked something about Marius only for someone to vague me, or it was me hosting the huge fandom Discord back in 2017 only for people to then come on tumblr and complain about how the Discord was way too Marius Friendly as if like, a drama-free space where we can discuss the books makes it a harbor for predators.
Of course I also had the gaggle of fucking morons who were constantly stalking me, catfishing their way into my servers to try to take screenshots and write call outs and cancel me, who would not stop preaching about how “all these big blogs” are “actually such terrible people” because “look at the things they ship” even when I’d never been unkind to them, even occasionally donated to their GFMs. These are folks who think they’re morally in the right for protecting the virtue of Armand’s poor teenage asshole and executed this justice by stalking and harassing an ACTUAL PERSON LOL. Like, listen. I’m sorry to burst ur bubble, but Armand doesn’t exist. He’s letters on a paper. I’m actually a real person and you’re up my fucking ass because I don’t’ even fucking know why, you’re jealous of my fucking Tumblr engagement or something? Which one of us is actually the creep here lol?? Is this a race to the bottom to be the valedictorian of clown school on the website for homeschooled clowns?
I’ve also had the pleasure of being on the receiving end of acephobic discourse, being told I don’t do enough to protect every individual in fandom from their own bullies as if it's my job to do that, being called ableist for how I wrote Daniel in my fics even though I was projecting and discussing my own personal experiences – I’ve also had a project collaborator have a tantrum and try to steal my work until I had to threaten with legal action, I’ve been put on block lists, I’ve had many people consume my fics in secret without actually leaving comments because I’m too toxic for them to communicate with in public.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.
This was all before AMC showed up LMFAO. It was not easy for me! It’s still not always easy!
And so yeah like, by nature of the fandom EXPLODING we are going to see more drama. More people is more drama. The nature of the discourse often hedges into real life issues that people are very opinionated and passionate about and there are conflicting needs inside the same space about how to hold conversations. Even just the other day I RB’d a joke about Anne Rice and OP got upset with me because they didn’t want actual fans interacting with it. Whoops! I didn’t know! I just thought it was funny. ;.;  
Even in good faith and with the best of intentions we’re going to step on each other’s toes, and we’re gonna find people we don’t vibe with. And that’s normal and it’s fine.
What ISN’T normal is this inability to disengage that I think we see often in online space, and I don’t want to get into a whole side essay about all the reasons why I think that happens. But sometimes you gotta be the bigger person and take it on the chin.
Like, yeah, it sucks. It sucks the fun out of the room when you share a space with such bitter people who can’t be kind to each other. But like. THAT’S A THEM PROBLEM, YOU KNOW? And I think we gotta remember that sometimes people like that do it for the attention or the spike of dopamine when they can pick a fight and honestly like, you don’t need to waste YOUR OWN time on it, but you’re also doing that person a kindness if you don’t enable the bad behavior.
And it sucks that Tumblr’s mute tools are awful!!!!! It would make navigating so much easier to be able to curate the dash a little better and keep the bad actors out of your space. I sometimes just fuck off and don’t even come online for days if I know I’m not in a good headspace and won’t have the strength to just fucking ignore it, because sometimes drama catches my eye and I get nosy and go down the rabbit hole, too – having ADHD makes it really hard to avoid sometimes LOL – but like I try to be reasonable and love myself enough to avoid it when I can help it. I’m not willing to make my own problems everyone else’s problem, and I hope that some of these shit starters in fandom will get there, themselves.
So yeah it blows when the vibes are fucking atrocious, and it REALLY blows when it’s a fandom this small where you can’t avoid it. Even when it’s a vocal minority it really just kills the fucking mood.
BUT WHAT I WILL SAY.
Whenever I say shit like “write what you want to read” and we’re talking about fanfic, or even meta or even silly headcanon posts or jokes, that also means draw what you want to see, it also means make what you want to hold, apply it to any creation you can think of. Put the thing you want to see into the world. And it counts for fandom, too.
I don’t want to be part of a fandom that’s constantly infighting and attacking people, so I don’t fight and attack people. I don’t want to be called a predator for being a Marius fan and so I don’t engage in posts that say as much, not even to argue, because I don’t want my followers (who might also be Marius fans!) to have to see that on their dash. I want us to protect our peace and create a space we want to be in.
Like I have a policy that any time someone says I’m a freak or any time I see truly godawful word salad discourse, I go out of my way to post something kinky and offputting about Marius LMFAOOOO  because I want to be surrounded by reasonable fun people who share my sensibility for fiction. AND SOMETIMES IT’S CRICKETS, AND SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO FIND YOUR PEOPLE. But at the end of the day I know I’m being my most sincere self and I’m trying to have a good time and just post fun things that I enjoy. And like, the book fandom is small as fuck and we’re all famished, but I think if more of us did that, we’d build a much more productive and tolerant space.
And for all the shit I’ve mentioned, all the drama and attacks and all the times people have harassed me or tried to make me feel small, you know what? I just got back from @apoptoses & @cup-of-lixx 's wedding and they met in VCblr! We spent all week with our VCblr friends! We all went to New Orleans together last Halloween !
When I used to work on ships it was like a fandom friend world tour! I had so many coffees in port with my vampire friends!
I’ve learned so much about writing from all the time I’ve spent here and the community of writer friends who supported me! There’s folks I met on VCblr that I talk to LITERALLY every day! They are such huge parts of my life and genuine life-long friends!!!!!!
Sometimes it seems like the ROI is garbage but like, so much of finding the joy is also learning to protect yourself from the negativity.
It IS out there. It DOES suck. And it’s lonely when you haven’t found your people yet. But fandom doesn’t have to be the 500 angry assholes arguing with each other about a fucking TV show, it can be your 3 besties in a private group chat having a great time.
Like I just drove @hekateinhell to the airport (met THROUGH TUMBLR!) and on the way back I was listening to an episode of Last Day and they were discussing the concept that “community is a life raft” and it hit me so hard man!!!!!!!!!!!
Find your people! Block the shit starters! Mute discourse buzzwords that you know are going to upset you!
Keep! Posting! What! You! Want! To! See!!
Fandom is self-generating, we can do this!
My inbox is always open and BELIEVE ME I have been motherfucking persona non grata in this place before and I know how rancid the vibe can be so please come talk any time it's grinding you down, I got you!!!!!!!!!!!!
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ratgrinders · 14 days
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(this is kipperlillyforpresident) Hi. This is an insane thing to ask a person, but also I believe you are the best scholar for the job, so I will ask anyway: if Kipperlilly played Persona 5, do you think she would ship ShuAke?
Points in favor: homosexuality, the fact that it isn't canon would probably appeal to her brand of problems
Points against: She might hate Akira to begin with because of seeing his specialness as Unfair (why does this attic trash get to be the wildcard, huh?!?!), potential for her to want to self-ship with Akechi?
I'm unsure on this matter. I yield the floor to you.
Tumblr user kipperlilyforpresident, it is an honor 🙏
(wow this got longer and more rambly than i thought WHOOPS lol)
Before I answer I wanna go on a brief tangent and just say how SIMILAR Akechi and Kipperlily are. Legitimately, during that meeting at the food trucks where Brennan described Kipperlily as having a "polished steel ball of a personality", my first thought was to Akechi's detective prince persona and just how METICULOUS he is at presenting this perfect, pristine version of himself. They're both filled with violent, uncontrollable rage at the perceived unfairness of the world, they're both slightly murderous (it's okay I forgive them though), they're both extreme overachievers who nonetheless struggle with connections and making friends. Literally the main difference is just that (as I've seen you mention in tags) Akechi's rage all stems from his deadbeat father and the injustices he faced as a result while Kipperlily very explicitly DOESN'T have a tragic backstory. If these two met they would either be best friends or want to kill each other.
So going off of that, I just wanna say that I am both a kipperbees and shuake shipper, and the things that appeal to me about both ships are VERY similar. In kipperbees, like shuake, you got two people who at first seem diametrically opposed and irreconcilable; one side of the ship filled with extreme rage and jealousy at the other party but who is unwilling to admit that their rage stems from a very genuine place of wanting what the other person has, being unwilling to admit just how interesting they find the other person (it goes against their meticulous plans, it's counter to everything they believe) so they instead mislabel the feeling as hatred. The preppy, uptight overachiever who cares so much, and the person who seems to get it all (friends, success) without caring at all.
Going back to your original question, I think Kipperlily would latch on to Akechi hard if she ever played the game, both as a sort of self-insert fantasy ("he's like me but with the tragedy and cosmic importance I desperately crave") and spite (because this interesting character is still cast aside as an NPC in the grand crusade of the Phantom Thieves, he deserves justice and not death).
I think maybe at first she'd ship shuake as a sort of self-ship by proxy, believing (not that I agree) that the protagonist is a blank slate for you to project yourself onto. But I think ultimately she'd be unable to articulate just what about the ship is so appealing to her, because by subconsciously putting herself in Akechi's shoes, now she can imagine this scenario where someone understands her fully and still accepts her, someone who appeals to her competitive nature, someone who is opposed to her wrongdoing and thus subconsciously validates the internal strife she has over her own actions, but who will come back for her anyway because I think she, too, subconsciously wants to be saved from what she's been doing.
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ladyluscinia · 7 months
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BLACKHANDS GIRLIES WE ARE REALLY IN IT NOW!!!
(aka Lady's OFMD 2x01 - 2x03 BlackHands rambling)
Link to the general non-BlackHands thoughts.
Screaming. Whooping. Cheering. *Singsong voice* My fucked up pirate husbands had mutual love confessions while the main fucked up pirate husbands are "on a break" after admitting they made each other happy! AAAAHHHHHH!!! Can't murder-suicide the other half of yourself! I am winning!!!
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ADJSKLDFSKJFKDL
Ok. Deep breaths. This will be rambling but coherently (<- lying)
---
Breakup Boat - Izzy's Version
Fuck, I said in my general thoughts post that the extremities of Edward's cruelty & Edward's suicidal pursuit were working well, and nowhere is that more noticeable than in what Edward and Izzy have going on.
So in the timeskip between S1 and S2 we find out Edward has been raiding ships at a breakneck pace, uncaringly trauma bonding his crew (R.I.P. Ivan), going hard on murder & booze & drugs, and tormenting Izzy to the point my guy is literally having a breakdown in front of the crew. He lost the 1st toe for threatening to resign and accidentally setting off a Stede-hurt timebomb, and Edward goes to take a 4th because Izzy doesn't convince his whole crew to happily dump their pay in the ocean. "Threaten me again" has become "Give me any excuse" it seems, and Izzy has been complying. 😬 Edward (casually): "Take your boot off." 😬 Earlier Edward offers him rhino horn, too, and Izzy just says "No, not right now" leading Edward to call him a "lightweight", so I'm thinking Edward hasn't had exclusive rights to substance abuse as a means of coping, either. (Note: the rhino horn itself does nothing, so the substance abuse is booze and any actual drugs he's gotten his hands on.)
Oh, and they didn't include the shot where Edward throws a knife at Izzy? Did it just get cut, or are we getting flashbacks with more conversation later?
Going to rewatch the end of 1x10, Izzy's "smile" at declaring Blackbeard was back lasts a fraction of a second and looks just like his "everything is totally fine I swear" grimace-smiles from the beginning of the episode, so I think it's pretty safe to say Izzy did not ask for this and hasn't thought everything was fine for a single second since.
The Breakup Boat atmosphere is definitely fucked.
Now, personally, I'm still of the opinion we're not supposed to read this as a version of a domestic abuse arc (even with the intervention talk). (EDIT: clarifying thoughts and phrasing.) Because they still inject too much of it with humor and I can't imagine Edward comfortably coming out the other side at a happy ending if we frame it that way. Like there's black comedy and then there's "Wait, we're really just laughing this off?" I think horrific domestic abuse of your ex-situationship in a romance counts as the latter. But I do think it's revealed to be functioning as something adjacent - namely Edward's depression and suicidal tendencies have massively spiked post-Stede and he's actively seeking to a) confirm his own belief that he's unlovable, and b) get killed so everything stops hurting.
And Izzy? Izzy loves him and wants him alive. Worst thing Edward could hear right now.
Like oh my GOD IZZY LOVES HIM. As soon as Izzy hits his breaking point and realizes the crew have his back, he's emboldened to go stand up for them and himself to Edward. (He has been defending them already - the pre-intervention conversation open with him quietly alluding that they need a break - but this is more.) He ignores the boot order, ignores the threat, and finally asks the damn question:
"Who am I to you?"
This is where my linear coherency falls apart btw 🥴
---
Who KNOWS You?
"We've worked together for years. You know me better than anyone has ever known me, and I daresay the same is true for me about you. I have... love for you, Edward."
Oh fuck backstory implications oh FUCK.
Ok, I've already seen the posts doubling down on Izzy realizing he doesn't know Edward at all and I'm drawing my line in the sand. That's bullshit. That line there? That's straight truth.
To quote my own posts:
People will act like you are making bold and unsubstantiated claims if you say Izzy likes Edward as a person not just as Blackbeard, but I find the notion that “Blackbeard” as a human guy you live down the hall from is somehow substantially different / distant enough from the real Edward 24/7 that only liking Blackbeard is plausible to be a very bold claim.
(That conclusion comes from this post, but Izzy knowing Edward vs Stede knowing Edward was also a major point in my original overarching Edward Meta from Season 1.)
Of course Izzy knows Edward. He knows his talents and his weaknesses. He knows the shifts in his mood, his favorite foods to find in a hold, what tasks he used to pass off as often as possible. He talks about work with him because they live on a ship. Their state of dysfunction when we meet them doesn't negate that knowing.
Knowing each other so well actually made their dysfunction worse. Let them escalate more than two people less intimate could have managed, while also exacerbating their misjudgements into ruinous disasters. Izzy didn't know - probably in part didn't want to know - Edward was falling hard for Stede so fast. Edward didn't know or want to know that Izzy was reaching a breaking point for their relationship.
But still, crucially, Izzy did know Edward well enough to clock that something was fundamentally wrong in 1x10, and he knows what's wrong now. He knows Edward is hurting him and hurting the crew because Edward himself is hurting, and the whole point of this "I'm worried about you" talk is to try and fix it.
Unfortunately, Izzy has Stede so unspoken at the front of his mind that he accidentally quotes the man, and that sets Edward off on his interrogation / further terrorizing the crew Izzy is trying to stand up for. Which is why Izzy finally makes his choice to stop talking around the issue...
"The atmosphere on this ship is fucked. Everyone knows why." -> "Your feelings for Stede fucking Bonnet."
...and then Edward shoots his leg out. Not even looking at him.
Jump ahead. Edward says to Frenchie, "The new First Mate always kills the old First Mate. It's always been like that." - Has it though? Because that has some wild implications for Izzy murdering someone to secure his spot in Edward's circle of trust (...hot). And some interesting gaps for Edward if he was ever a first mate under Hornigold or anyone else. Or is this just him fucking with Frenchie because he knows "Trust is king. And queen. Trust is everything" is bullshit? Go, repression boy, go. Who am I talking about? Both. Both is good.
And then of course we get:
"Did you think I wouldn't know the smell of my rotting former First Mate?"
Knows him by the smell of blood and infection. By the avoidant look in his crew's eye. By the fact he doesn't know Izzy is dead. Their relationship is rot and ruin by his own hand but he would NEVER assume Izzy's dead until he knows.
"He was your friend," Jim spits in Edward's face.
Edward wakes up Izzy and even delirious, literal seconds after realizing he's down a leg, Izzy knows what Edward wants the moment he flips the gun. And he wants nothing to do with it.
He knows he can't. Won't. No matter how much Edward openly wants him to pull the trigger. (Edward knows him well enough to doubt, too. It's real convenient that his final staging has Izzy looking at the back of his head. No chance of his face giving anything away.)
Izzy's absolutely brutal in his assessment, trying to give some hurt back, but he's not wrong:
"Ohhhh. Oh, are you scared, Eddie? Too scared to do it yourself, eh? Go on, clean up your own fucking mess. I'm not doing it, I've been doing it all my fucking life. Fuck off."
All his fucking life.
I have to wonder... is this a conversation they've had before? Echoes of one? Izzy has a tactic here - dismissal. Refuse to play along with Edward's melodrama. Treat "I dreamt that you killed me" as though he's throwing a snit like a toddler. "Good for you" could have sounded like a question egging him on, but it comes out flat. A sarcastic sneer. Edward has always thought he'd go out with more of a bang. Loves a good fuckery. In his Purgatory he desperately wants Hornigold to recognize how unique and over the top his mutiny was. Not like those ordinary mutinies. Even his imagined death is being pitched over the highest bluff tied to a rock???
Izzy knows Edward is serious or he wouldn't be so fraught and sobbing as he laughs, but his words don't treat him as serious. Maybe a bit of derision has been effective at ruining the fantasy before? Suicide of a great leader is just so banal, you know? Quit daydreaming and pull off an impossible fix.
(Maybe "Fuck off" normally doesn't end the conversation, but starts the real one?)
Also "Eddie". First off of Izzy's lips at his cruelest, then Hornigold's. We heard it in S1 right before Edward committed to becoming the Kraken. At the time I thought he was bristling at the disrespect - "Eddie" is not "just Edward" - but maybe Frenchie stepped on a bigger landmine than we thought. Edward is so particular about names, and Izzy knows all the rules best, doesn't he?
Either way... This time the conversation ends with Edward leaving. "Farewell, old chum," he says without turning around. And when he hears the gunshot, he's not surprised.
Edward knows Izzy, too. Knows that the farewell may count as "closure" but Izzy is only going to take the ending one way. Izzy lifting the gun to his temple was the inevitable result of leaving that room. It takes seconds. Edward is still rising out of the stairwell when it happens.
We can't talk about knowing without touching on Purgatory, where Edward goes to know himself.
Lots of interesting stuff about Edward modeling his toxic spiral off of Hornigold as the fucked up example from his past. Probably where he picked up a lot of his piracy philosophy too. But the really juicy bit related to Izzy is the spectre of Hornigold confronting him about killing his dad and Edward's instinctive:
"I've never told anyone about that."
Hornigold calls him out for telling Stede, but it seems pretty likely that Stede is the only one he's ever had the conversation with.
However.
I still think Izzy knows. Hornigold even tells us how:
"A grown man covered in tattoos? Eh? With daddy issues?"
Edward didn't tell Izzy, and Izzy didn't ask for confirmation. But Edward will tell a whole crew of strangers about "the Kraken" killing his dad to win best ghost story. And that his dad was a dick. Izzy, who Edward loves and trusts and "outsources the big job" to, would not have much trouble connecting the dots between any version of that story / troubled childhood anecdotes / Edward's issues with killing / Edward's daddy issues.
I sincerely doubt "killed your abusive old man" is even an uncommon pirate backstory.
Izzy does know Edward - at his best and worst and everything in between. Knows him better than anyone. Suspects with certainty his darkest secret.
Izzy knows Edward, and Edward knows Izzy, and that's why everything fundamentally quakes for Edward in this self-destructive rampage when Izzy breaks their unspoken rule and tells him that he loves him.
---
Who LOVES You?
Jumping back to the (first!) literal, actual love confession we got, let's talk phrasing. Because yeah there's love there, but at the moment there's also a lot of other stuff.
"I have... love for you, Edward."
This is such a passive way of confessing, and there's the long pause as Izzy forces it out. People have attributed it to repression, or feeling ashamed of his love for Edward, or just not wanting to push it on him. I think "love" isn't a word they use out loud, so saying it is hard, but I also think Izzy's being passive because at the moment it does just feel like he "has" love. He doesn't want to actively feel it or offer it up right now, not with the complicated knot of anger and hurt and, tbh, probably some of his own depression. He "has" love because, despite everything, he still loves Edward.
And he does, is the thing! The whole goddamn reason Izzy is here, still trying to be a support for Edward is because he loves him. Literally anybody else would have left by now, or killed Edward, considering he's actively trying to push Izzy to the breaking point. And even at said point, when Izzy's finally standing up for himself, he offers Edward another chance to realize he's loved.
Edward starts dismissing him the moment he says the l-word, but Izzy continues:
"I'm worried about you - we all are. The atmosphere on this ship is completely poisoned. But if we could all just, maybe... talk it through?"
Izzy knows what's wrong and while he didn't originally think Stede was that important to Edward, he's put it together by now. And he's a huge fan of trying to talk through their problems, tries it multiple times even in the peak communication failure / stress powderkeg of S1, so of course he tries one last time to get Edward to accept he's not alone.
Instead, he accidentally invokes the ghost of Stede Bonnet and reminds Edward why he's doing all of this in the first place. Reminds him that he is unlovable while having the audacity to confess to loving him.
So Edward makes a big show of going out on deck, shoots Izzy in the leg, and tells Frenchie to get rid of him.
Frenchie doesn't, naturally.
And when Edward finds the crew saving the man who he just shot for daring to love him - because of course they are, he's their dick now - well... "He was your friend," Jim spits in his face, having just been thinking about their best friend (who they are more than a little bit in love with 👀).
How long do we think Edward stands there, looking at what he's wrought? How long does he sit at Izzy's bedside, looking at him "rather still" while he weighs if the missing leg proves his point where the toes didn't?
And you know Izzy's love is so bone deep and rooted in that it's unconditional by this point, because Edward did NOT prove his fucking point. Nothing he's done so far is enough to get the man who loves him to pull the fucking trigger. Down 3 toes and then a leg, asking first thing whether Edward was there for the other one, and STILL. STILL IZZY IS HEARTBROKEN AT THE REALIZATION THAT EDWARD IS READY TO END IT FOR REAL.
Still he won't pull the trigger himself. Not on Edward, at least.
And only after Izzy is gone can Edward return the words.
"I loved you. Best I could."
*screaming crying tearing at the walls*
He loved him.
HE LOVED HIM.
Edward's perspective of his relationships is fundamentally warped. Alongside his self-image. Probably has been for most of his life, going back to the self-hatred he ties to killing his dad. Stede leaving hurt him immensely (and predictably, Stede) in ways Stede will have to own up to, but it was Edward's own unaddressed issues - independent of Stede AND Izzy - that determined the appropriate response to that hurt was "realize that vulnerability and hope are lies and every dark voice in the back of your mind ever was telling the truth, actually."
Edward's conviction that nobody loves him and that he's not capable of successfully loving someone back is literally his depression talking. It is not rationally based in the reality of his life or relationships, Stede or otherwise. He may even have successfully beat back the sentiment for most of his life, with that getting harder and harder as time went on.
(He's expressed this kind of depressive-episode-driven warped view before, btw, and they explicitly parallel it in Purgatory just for me! The flashbacks of the bathtub scene while he attacks the spectre of Hornigold are my huge W in that episode. "It all boils down to this - you're afraid you're unlovable", said by the actual manifestation of Edward's suicidal self-hatred in Purgatory, is the new "That's why I don't have any friends." I think it's fair to question if he was a reliable narrator of his experiences back then, too. Jim and the crew certainly think he had at least one friend.)
Basically, "Best I could" now can mean a lot of things before. Young Izzy and Edward could have been much healthier than they are at present. Probably were, to be honest. It wasn't enough to save them from going sour, but it could explain why they've stuck together so long even as it has.
Izzy loves Edward. Edward loves Izzy.
LOVE LOSES. BUT LOVE WINS 😭😭😭
---
Kraken Era = Murder-Suicide, but Edward Wants to be the Murdered One
So, uh... *scrambling for notes* Where am I going with this? Fuck, I'm not even writing it linearly... OK!
Izzy KNOWS Edward - knows him going back ages, has seen his darkest and weakest moments - and even after 3 toes and a stress breakdown he still LOVES him enough to say it out loud (which I doubt these guys do, uh, ever). Which really throws a wrench in Edward's "Stede realized I'm inherently toxic and unlovable" theory, and prompts him to redouble his "prove to Izzy he doesn't love me" efforts by casually shooting him.
Afterward, he finally makes his passive suicidal intents explicit when talking (practically sobbing, in truth) to Frenchie:
"Never going back to land. We're gonna sail, rob, raise hell forever and ever, without end."
He's set on it, now. Izzy's potential last act was to finally rip down the illusion, give name to the hurt Edward had been running from since he first put on his Kraken makeup. So he pushes his little wedding toppers out the window, cleans himself up, and goes out to wave every single red flag imaginable for poor Frenchie's locked box.
Except it wasn't Izzy's last act, now was it?
But that's fine for Edward. That actually works better. He wants the hopeless situation to end, but he doesn't want to pull the trigger himself or he would have done it by now. After everything, surely Izzy should be ready to murder-suicide him??? He can't still love him, not after Edward so effectively proved he's exactly as toxic as his self-loathing depressive episodes say he is. It's poetic.
Edward underestimates Izzy. Knows him with his head, but the depression makes him underestimate his heart.
Edward doesn't get a bullet through the head, be hears the gun go off and - well - that's one way to spin "not even Izzy loves me any more" into a true statement.
Edward wants to live slightly more than he wants everything to end. It's the only reason he's alive. Before Izzy said Stede's name he was floating high on denial like that bird who never lands, keeping his depression and his destruction as a blast radius more than a dagger. He was lurching in the direction of dying by combat or by crew mutiny or by simple self-destructive behaviors, but he avoided thinking about anything long enough to have intent.
After Izzy's desperate attempt to intervene, Edward can't hide from his own reasoning anymore. Or his hurt. Or his self-enforced hopelessness. And with that comes aims. He has his rough night and then starts the massive red flag upswing. Cleans up. Gets ready for the big finale. He pushes Izzy with the "closure" conversation, trying to find a pressure point that will get him killed to close off the narrative with a artful bow.
Murder-suicide sounds like a fix to his problems, but he still wants to live slightly more. He still can't turn the gun on himself. He aims to be the murdered one.
After Izzy is gone, though, by Edward's own actions? That's the last straw he needs to commit in full. Thanking Frenchie? Just another final goodbye to get his affairs in order. "Take the day off, brother. Go live." The moment Izzy dies they all become dead men walking.
Thank FUCK that Edward a) still would prefer it if they snapped and murdered him / something out of his control killed him (he still wants to live), and b) still wants to die dramatically. A different man would have walked right back to his cabin and not missed.
Sidebar to appreciate the breakup boat crew some more because I love them:
Fang: "So... do we think he's better?" Jim: "Fuck no!"
Edward is ready to be the murderer with his cannon pointed at the mast, but he stalls on damning the whole crew to a watery grave (r.i.p. half of them), gives Izzy time to wake up and drag himself out to protect said crew, and then finally gets what he's been after.
Edward's motivations are already perfectly clear, but just to really hammer it in - he thinks he just drove a man he loved to suicide, and then he demands the couple he found kissing fight to the death with the reasoning:
"All love dies, I'm just hastening the process."
Jim literally just learned last season that was bullshit, my guy. It makes sense they are the one who finally puts a stop to him.
(Except the cannonball doesn't hit. There's no head wound. And Edward is alive when they take him back to the secret room, laying him out respectfully instead of letting the waves take him too. They don't even know if they'll survive. They certainly don't have anywhere to take the body, or a working ship to get there. Maybe they didn't notice because they didn't want to notice.)
(AND EDWARD STILL WANTS TO LIVE)
Both Izzy and Edward try to die. Both of them do - maybe, in the bottom of their hearts - want to live just a tiny bit more. They shoot each other. They say OUT LOUD they love each other (though Edward I swear to fuck you better say that to Izzy's face ohmygod). They are on this journey together.
BOTH OF THEM LIVE. AND NOW THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT.
(I feel like I wanted to add stuff about Stede & Izzy meeting again but like. I don't even know. Izzy doesn't even know. Is he protecting the crew? Deflecting? Edward's dignity (-ish)? Stede's good opinion of Edward? Dealing with his own massively fucked headspace? Ask me again on Friday. Fuck.)
My fucked up guys are in toxic fucked up LOVE!!!
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damnfandomproblems · 9 months
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Fandom Problem #4181:
So let's say, maybe you like ketchup. Like it on fries, a burger, a hot dog. Great. It can make good things taste even better. But even if you like ketchup, you probably don't want it ALL the time. You don't want to put it on your birthday cake or squeeze it into your coffee. Even on things you DO like it on like hot dogs or hamburgers, you don't want SO much that it completely overwhelms all other flavors and you can't taste anything else, so much its completely saturated the buns and you can't even hold the damn thing without getting ketchup all over your hands and you're rushing to grab a handful of napkins.
Sometimes, fandoms will have a super popular character who ends up being like that ketchup. Yeah, sometimes adding them into things will make things cooler! But sometimes they turn into spotlight hogs, sometimes the fandom wants to make EVERYTHING ALWAYS INVOLVE THEM ALL THE TIME where other characters don't really get a chance to shine, even in (art, fics, canon episodes) WERE supposed to give those characters a chance. Oh, I see you got a nice ship over there! Would you like to spice that up with a little poly on top? WHOOPS the squeezed the bottle a little too hard and now the entire everything is just about the ketchup -- uh, character. But you don't mind, do you? You did say you LIKE ketchup, right?
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cherizzx · 28 days
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$50
Rich Bf/ Itachi x Black/Chubby Reader
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' 60% OFF SALE AT FASHION NOVA SUMMER DEALS FOR THE HOES!"
Summer deals for the hoes??? Now Fashion Nova play too much I thought as I scrolled down the site on my iPad, hitting the flashing sing on my screen endless of outside and summer outfits littered my screen...but that's no sale! $30 for a 2-piece top and bottom!? Yes, it gave brunch or mimosas at the beach but still, it only 10% off but, I tap my size and the color and continued adding endless amount of clothes, shoes, and earring into my cart.
' Tachi gon whoop my ass after this one..' I thought when reviewing my entre cart, Itachi loves it when I spoil myself or put a dent in his wallet but lately he's told me to spend a little less, I understand it thought I filled up my walk in closet to the max and my shoes is practically covering the wall; when I walk into the closet you'll think it's a mall just full of outfits from the summer time to winter chic to spring flings etc. I delete a few items the cart only depleting by a smidge, I look down at the price...a whopping $640.87 but, I got free shipping! I open my cashapp my balance is $800 buttt I could ask tachi to give me just a bit more, right? I bite my nails and think should I order it with my money and be an independent baddie on nan budget? Or be a baddie with a walking wallet on her with no budget? As I think I hear the door open.
" Baby? Com'er for a second"
' Tachi's home!' I thought as I put on my Ugg slippers and went quickly down the stairs, Itachi now sitting on the couch with his glass of whiskey and his computer; I tip-toe behind him and cover his eyes with a childish giggle.
" Guess Who?" I say with a smile, he chuckles and hums for a second.
" Hm? Is it my wonderful reader?"
" No, it your wonderful, gorgeous, beautiful, breath taking, sexy, darling reader"
He just chuckled and kissed my hand as I come around to sit beside him, my plush thighs connecting with his when he lifts my legs onto his thig and rubs my calf. I lean closer a give him a peck whispering a welcome home from his long day at work. He kisses me back and he tells me about work, his eyes now calmer and less tense. We talk about what we have planned for the week and other things that came into our brains.
" Darling, have you did what I asked of you for today?"
Shit! I forgot, Itachi told me to try to clean out one side of my closet so I can have a tidy area for the rest of the year so going bit by bit I did see some shoes I didn't like but, I didn't donate them or threw them away NO! I put them in the attic because I couldn't let them go to waste! What if pink Chanel come back in style and I can just bring the whole collection back? Through my inner turmoil Itachi watches me with a black expression as I awkwardly try to explain.
" Well, I did clean out some but, I got tired, so I took a nap, then I made me a little snack for the hour because I only ate a bagel and-"
" So, you didn't clean out much?"
" It's progress...You just have to lean into it! See if you look at it from my point of view it very hard for a girl to get rid of -"
" So, you didn't clean, nor have you gotten rid of anything dear?"
I just sighed and nodded, putting my head down and looking away. Itachi sighs and lifts my chin up and kisses my lips.
" Let's see how much you've done then we can go on from there hm?"
" But! You've been at work all day, Tachi! It wouldn't be fair to let you help my mess."
" Nonsense dear, up now let's see what 'progress' you've made"
He airs quotes progress and picks me up from the couch onto my feet and walks to our bedroom while I slowly walk behind him, he's too calm...like Itachi would never hurt me but, he doesn't do the not listing thing. When me and Tachi first started this, he set clear rules that disrespect and disobedience would come with spanking, a short allowance, and no sex for ​​Recognized by supervisors and colleagues for excellent patient care and attention to detail. Successfully completed certification in phlebotomy from a national health organization.​ week or 2 months depending on what I did, usually I'm a peach! only go punished a few times when I got a bit too bold with him. As I finally gotten into our room, he's standing there with a disappoint look.
" Only five pairs of shoes are in a box and two tops darling? This looks like 30 minutes of work-"
" Actually, an hour! It would hard because I love the leather heels but, they kind of hurt my feet but it's my only pair of leather heels I mean, I do have dark denim thigh highs but, they aren't giving the way those heels did, so I did a process and-"
" Darling."
I stopped talking and looked at his stern face, he sits on the bed and pats his thigh, and takes the band from his long hair down and loosens his tie.
" How many you think hm?"
" How many what?"
" You know what baby don't act dumb, unless you are as dumb as I thought.
My legs tighten as I try to explain how I should get away from this one punishment ranging from pleas to bargains but, Tachi just shakes his head and pats his thigh again.
" Not going to say it again baby, you've got 10 seconds before it 30 spankings and no cumming till the entire closet is clean."
He started counting and I quickly bend over his lap.
" Please me gentle Tachi" I said small and meek
" No promises my angel"
*SMACK!*
*After her ass got tore up*
" Your going to listen to me more hm?"
" Yes sir.."
" Good, now tomorrow I'm off I'm going to help you clean out some of it okay baby?"
I just nod snuggling into him, he tore my ass up and then gon try to be all loving aftr? Thats real bipolar but, whatever; I grab my phone from the table and see the sale is almost over.
" Tachi?"
" Hm?"
" Can I borrow $50?"
He looks down at me with one eye and I show him the sale, he rolls his eyes and pats my head.
" Later dear, go to sleep"
I nod, shutting down my hand and climbing on top of his thin frame hold his shoulders and laying my head on his chest.
" Night Tachi"
" Night baby"
..." Can I borrow $50-"
"No"
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A.N: ( Im back like crack! Yall tis was my mannnn back in 89' like when I tell you he was BAD! He was, and yall I've been so tired like I tried to write but I couldn't so I'm post more now that I'm motivated.)
Like and comment who yall wanna see next!
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inbarfink · 3 months
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Okay, so, an RGU Good Omens AU with Utenanthy = Ineffable Husbands is already a very solid idea that works very well. Like, it is pretty funny to think how totally contrasting these characters’ core aesthetics are (especially Aziraphale and Utena) but when you get deep down to these characters’ core issues and narrative roles there’s a lot of parallels you can use. Crowley and Anthy both suffer from self-loathing due to being labeled as Ontologically Evil while trying their best to relish in it, self-sacrificing to a fault while also harboring some deep-rooted resentments. Utena and Aziraphale are both incredibly well-meaning in a very endearing way but are also so blinded by their deeply-ingrained black-and-white conceptions of how the world should work that it makes them stupidly oblivious and harmful to the one they love. I can go into it even more deeply, but it works pretty damn well…
And now I am thinking, if there’s any interesting ways to slot in the rest of the cast (Shadow Play GIrls = Agnes Nutter???). More specifically right now I am considering if there’s anything interesting I can do with the whole Gabriel/Beezlebub thing.
Because, like, my initial plan was maybe everyone in the Student Council as Angels, everyone who was a Black Rose Duelist a Demon and anyone who’s in neither category is Human. And… the whole point of the Black Rose Duelist is that most of them are deeply emotionally connected to a member of the Student Council. But also…… Most of these relationships are not ones that I can see getting any sort of happily ever after up in the stars. Even by RGU standards. 
I mean… I think the closest option with this idea is Gabriel!Juri and Beelzebub!Shiroi which… I mean, it can work. That’s, arguably, RGU’s second-or-third biggest ‘ship’, and there’s plenty of thematic parallels you can make between Juri/Shiori and Utena/Anthy. My main reservation about this idea is just that… I just find it hard to imagine Juri/Shiori as the ‘B-Couple’ who sort-their-shit-out while the main couple is still deep in the Drama. Even when this main couple is Utena/Anthy, this is kind of a tough sell.
The other thing I was thinking about is that, like……. The best choice for a Gabriel in this AU should obviously be Touga, right?? Like, we’ve got this smarmy macho incredibly hateable guy who seems to just be a contrast to our Good Duelist/Angel to make them look better but… whoops! Turns out they’re actually Narrative Counterparts with a lot of things in common! And it’s kinda about giving this shitty guy redeeming qualities but also it’s mostly about deconstructing the flaws of our ‘good one’. In terms of both characterization and narrative roles, Touga is the best choice for the Archangel Fucking Gabriel.
And Touga’s Black Rose ‘counterpart’ is Keiko. Which like… okay, she can work as a Beezelbub. I mean, the closest thing for an animal motif/Demon Fursona we’ve got for her is the title of her focus episode (“Vermin” or more literally “Troublesome Insects”), so from this angle, this could work. 
But like… it’s Keiko. The whole point of her character is that she is a Forgettable Side Act that Touga doesn’t really care about and no other main character really pays attention to either. Making her Lord Beezlelbub feels like missing the point. 
On the other hand, we could just throw away this whole Student Council/Black Rose Heaven/Hell dichotomy idea and go with the character Touga is actually frequently paired with, Saionji. These two actually kinda work as ‘B-Couple who sort their shit out before the main couple does’. I mean… It's clear they’ve got a few issues to work on, but they do reach a reconciliation before the climax of the actual show. I think that does kinda work? 
Or maybe we should swap Demon/Angel roles on Touga/Saionji. I mean, I know I went over why Touga is the perfect Gabriel choice but… Saionji works decently well too. And mostly I just think it’ll be funny to play with the whole ‘Crowley fucking hates Gabriel’ thing with Anthy and Saionji lol
Or… if Saionji is Gabriel, then maybe ‘his’ Black Rose Duelist could be Beezelbub? Namely Wakaba? But that also clashes into a lot of the same thematic problems as Keiko above. I mean, not to the same level…. But still….
Or maybe, we can bring the whole Juri-Gabriel idea back, and go with the Juri/Wakaba angle that the Movie teased. You know, with the whole Juri is driving Wakaba thing?
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I mean, both Gabriel/Beezlebub and Juri/Wakaba are relationships that developed almost entirely off-screen so that’s also maybe an angle of comparison worth considering?
Hmmm… I think I still need to think about this for a while. See if there’s other options I haven’t considered. Maybe slot other characters into other roles and see what comes out of that… But you know what might help me decide?
That’s right! A Poll!
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heloflor · 3 months
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Was thinking a bit about how “The Devil’s Playhouse” has a lot more comedy than people make it out to be, and while especially thinking about “The Penal Zone” I realized this episode is actually very very very very gay. Like, I’m pretty sure it’s the Telltale episode with the highest amount of gay moments (205 is second on this list, what with Sam getting catcalled by a moleman, Max flirting with Mr. Reaperphone, the whole bachelor party, Peppers etc).
I think what I really like about those moments is that it’s a great example of normalization. The characters are incredibly casual about it, talking about gay relationships the exact same way one would talk about straight relationships, it’s really neat to see! Especially considering that this game was made in 2010, a whooping 5 years before gay marriage was legal in the whole US. It's crazy and great how much they were able to get away with!
(Screenshots of all these moments with timestamps (and quotes) under the cut. To have as little pics as possible, only a small section of each dialogue is taken. And to have a limit of two screenshots per pic max, some dialogues that are cut in two parts in-game have the second part pasted under the first. The timestamps puts you at the beginning of each conversation. All footage from NapalmX717 with the screenshots in chronological order of this video)
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Max: “What can I say, Sam? Alien ships love to abduct me. It’s not my fault I look so probe-able.” (9:44)
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Sam: “Nice work, little buddy! Make sure you wait three days to call, or he’ll thing you’re desperate.” (11:47)
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Max: “Well, he IS pretty charismatic, Sam. And he’s from space, which is a plus. But you’re the only hairy, overweight, domineering control freak I need, Sam.” (20:38)
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Sam: “I don’t need to go to another planet for a methane rich environment, as long as I’ve got you, pal.”
Max: “That’s really sweet and obvious, Sam.” (22:46)
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Skun-ka’pe: “Perfect! Just the one I wanted to see ha ha ha ha!”
Sam: “Keep the hands where we can see ‘em, pal.” (23:36)
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Max: “We could just give ourselves tongue-baths, like cats and flight attendants do!” (30:57)
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Sam: “Why do we have jumper cables? Neither of us knows how to use them.”
Max: “It’s simple, Sam: the RED cable goes on the RIGHT nipple, the BLACK cable clamps to the…” (34:42)
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Max: “Oh boy! Now I can finally set up my 24-hours adults-only naked bunny chat line.” (34:58)
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Sam: “Toys...Toys… we must prepare… the toys….”
Max: “Well, that’s just a typical Friday night for YOU, Sam.” (36:45)
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Flint Paper: “Oh. Well yeah, that could be it. I was thinking it was you, Sam!”
Max: “You think you know a guy. I’m not angry, Sam, just very disappointed.” (1:03:49)
(For context they’re talking about who might be Girl Stinky’s secret admirer)
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Max: “I can’t lie to Flint Paper, Sam!” (1:05:20)
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Max: “What kind of pretend mother would I be if I didn’t worry about our imaginary baby?” (1:10:31)
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Momma Bosco: “Oh, it’s not all bad. I’m getting better at apparating. And now I don’t leave a trail of ectoplasmic slime behind every time I leave the room.”
Max: “That’s better than Sam can say.” (1:23:13)
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Sam: “I’m not gonna rest until I find the guy who killed my partner!” (1:43:13)
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Max: “Wow. I feel really very close to you now, Agent Superball.” (1:45:33)
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Sam: “I don’t like the thought of you teleporting off without me, Max.” (1:46:33)
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Max: “Sam, this is all so sudden! I… I don’t know what to say!” (2:07:10)
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Sam: “I think one of us should try to smash through that window with his rock-hard, melon-sized head.”
Max: “And I think one of us should try the door, unless he wants to spend the rest of the day picking plate glass out of his partner’s fluffy white nether regions.” (2:17:00)
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Girl Stinky: “Sam and Max? Don’t tell me Skun-ka’pe wants YOU guys to be his love slaves, too?” (2:24:48)
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Girl Stinky: “Eww. He wishes. He’s SO not my type. You only have to date an evil gorilla once to learn never to make THAT mistake again.”
Max: “We’ve all been there, girlfriend.” (2:25:07)
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Girl Stinky: “Gee, it sounds like YOU two should go out with him. Would you like me to give you guys some privacy?” (2:27:33)
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Max: “You’re my best friend, Sam! I know you’d take a bullet for me!” (2:31:02)
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Sam: “You keep coming up with creepy disaster scenarios that always end with you eating me, Max. It’s getting annoying.”
Max: “If you don’t like it, then stop looking so damn tasty.” (2:38:11)
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Max: “Think of something quick, Sam. I don’t like the way he’s undressing me with his eyes.” (2:53:22)
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phantomspiderr · 1 year
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The Commander & The Star
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Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!reader
Word count: 2.2k+
Summary: Maybe you realised you love your best friend when it’s too late
Warnings/Tags: mentions of death, injury, explosions, fire, guilt, also a couple swears in there, probably the most angst I’ve ever written(I promise there’s a happy ending), cocky Poe Dameron, overuse of the words TIE Fighter and X-Wing(sorry), in case it isn’t obvious I know nothing about flying either and there’s of course some smooching
a/n: yeah sorry this came out of nowhere and is probably a bit of a mess and ngl I don’t fully understand Star Wars but I do love Poe Dameron so… hope you enjoy!
also I’m pretty sure there’s no mentions of gender or appearance or anything like that but as always if I’ve got that wrong and there is let me know! Appreciate you all, have a wonderful day🤍
(not my gif)
・☆: *.☽ .* :☆
nonononono…
You’re stumbling over rubble, uncaringly inhaling thick smoke as your numb legs carry you across the rugged terrain. Your heart thrashes around in your rib cage as your eyes sting with tears. No one ever prepares you for this when you’re learning to fly, not even your worrying thoughts every time either of you got in an X-Wing could prepare you for this.
Just moments ago you’d watched your best friend get shot out of the sky. The best pilot in the Resistance, hell the best pilot in the galaxy had been shot down in front of your very eyes.
It was only supposed to be a recon mission on some desolate planet no one had heard of for many, many years. But of course, in all of the galaxy, the First Order had a spontaneous patrol in the exact area just by the planet you were looking for. Poe was quick to spot them but before the two of you could make a quick getaway the four TIE fighters were barrelling in your direction.
“Shit! We gotta take them down. You take the two on the left and I’ll go right,” Poe’s crackly voice coming through your speaker somehow sounds calm in the middle of all this. It doesn’t matter how many times you fly your X-Wing or fight off the enemy there’s always a twinge of doubt about your ability in the back of your mind every time. But it all washes away every single time Poe utters the words, “Hey, you’re okay. We’ve got this.”
Your X-Wings are close enough that you can look to your right and see him in his cockpit. When he looks over at you it feels like time stands still for just a second, then you share a nod before both flying off in different directions. Your ships are still connected by your communicators so you can hear all the whooping and taunting Poe does as he flies. No matter how distracting he is, the sound of his voice is always something that will calm you. Even as you manoeuvre around the two TIE Fighters that are close on your tail.
“Poe! I can’t shake these guys,” you’re pulling up trying to roll over the top of the TIE Fighters to get an advantage behind them. You’re too out in the open and you’re finding it difficult to get around them. You’d never want to admit that the First Order is good at anything but maker these pilots are brilliant.
“We need to go down,” you can hear him pushing buttons, obviously trying to figure out a plan on the spot, “ah! There’s some mountains below. We’re better down there, I’ve pinpointed it on your map okay?”
“Shit!” You jump when you suddenly see one of the Tie Fighters in front of you explode, pulling a hard left to avoid going headfirst into it.
“You’re welcome!” You can picture the smug look on Poe’s face, always looking for a way to show off. Always a little reckless too. The man’s still chasing off his own two enemies he didn’t need to pick yours off for you too.
“A little warning next time would be great,” you push a few buttons, pulling up your map on the little screen in front of you. The one TIE now behind you again, chasing you down and shooting off blasters in every direction. You try to pick up speed as you quickly descend into the planet’s atmosphere, your ship beeping and flashing red in warning.
“Careful, Star.” The callsign he’d chosen for you rolling off his tongue with ease still makes your heart do a little flip. Your mind instantaneously shifts focus onto Poe’s X-Wing flying ahead as a TIE Fighter tries to come at him from the side. You’re quick to turn toward it, expertly flipping switches and locking your launcher onto the enemy ship. You can’t help but tease Poe just a little, “Careful, Commander.” The TIE explodes just as you speak and you smugly pull away in a different direction still acutely aware of the ship following you.
“A little warning?” He mocks your previous words and you can’t help but roll your eyes. Your head switches focus back to the task at hand, you’re trying to find an opportunity to lose the guy behind you or make him crash whichever comes first. Your eyes scan the new terrain, the mountains are just ahead but it’s too open and the gap between you and the enemy is closing.
“Change of plan!” You pull up and left suddenly yanking your ship in the direction of some towering trees, “gonna try lose them in the forest.”
“Star.” Poe’s voice warns, he always hates when you split off but you’re the only one he ever trusts to make decisions on the fly. You choose to just ignore the warning until he repeats it just as you spot the TIE Fighter pull away from your rear and go towards Poe. Shit.
“Poe!” You pull back hard, your X-Wing just floating on the spot for a second before it twists and you’re trying to speed toward the other ships.
“Yeah, I see them! Can you get behind them and I’ll lead them-“ A shot clips one of Poe’s wings and you can hear the beeping coming from his control pad.
“Poe?!” You’re immediately concerned, thinking the worst as you catch up.
“I’m good, just a little damage!” If you’d been anyone else you’d have missed the tinge of worry in his voice but you’re you and you’ve been his best friend since day one. His worry bleeds into your brain and your focus falters for just a second you miss a shot on one of your enemies. It comes back quickly as you start to see Poe’s ship slowing down significantly, giving the TIEs an advantage. One tries to take his side again just like the one before while the other continues to chase him from behind. You’re just out of range to lock your blasters on the ship and you’re pushing your X-Wing to its limits now just needing to get a little closer.
“comeoncomeoncomeon!” You’re nervously mumbling, your whole body tense, “YES!” Your control pad shows it’s locked on the target and you fire rapidly before it can change. Before you can even celebrate taking down another First Order pilot you see the red beams shoot out from the TIE Fighter you’d just been pursuing right before it explodes. You watch in horror as it completely takes out Poe’s other wing and he starts spinning toward the ground. He clips the last remaining TIE Fighter on his way down and sends it spinning straight into a tree and explodes.
You screech out his name as you hear his ship beeping through your comms, you can just make out what you think is Poe hitting the control panel with his fist. He doesn’t say a word and you feel stuck in place like some kind of force is holding you there so you can watch your best friend plummet to his death into the forest below. As if someone flips a switch you’re steering down haphazardly, not being as careful as you normally are when landing your X-Wing. It’s barely on the ground before you’re tugging at your seat belts and pulling off your helmet. You forego deploying your ladder instead just ungracefully slipping down the side and landing on the ground with a thud that sends shooting pain up your legs.
There are bits of TIE Fighter smoking or on fire, there are even parts of Poe’s beloved X-Wing scattered on the ground. Your legs feel like lead as you climb up a mound covering where you’re sure Poe crash-landed. Your lungs burn as you inhale the thick smoke in the air and you’re scared. So scared. You reach the top and you almost fall straight back down, the sight before you making your legs weak. That beloved X-Wing he’d spent years working on, the thing that had tally marks scratched into the floor of how many people he’d lost so he always knew what he was fighting for. That godforsaken thing you’d both spent countless late nights fixing up, just in pieces in front of you. It’s hard to see it all, a part obviously exploded and was blowing thick dark smoke out into the air. Your eyes sting and you’re honestly not sure if it’s the smoke or the fact you think your best friend just died and you blame yourself for it already. There were so many things left unsaid, so many adventures you were supposed to go on together. You knew every time either of you flew that this could happen but some part of you thought that you were both invincible, that nothing would ever happen to you and now it has and you’re numb.
Your legs almost give out as you clumsily stumble down the mound. You can feel your body trembling as you search the wreckage for confirmation of your worst fear. You’re coughing now as you get closer finding heaps of metal you start pulling apart in hopes you’re wrong.
He won’t get to see the Residence win.
He won’t get to grow old and have the kids he said he wanted.
You won’t get to spend another day with your best friend.
You won’t get to tell him you love him.
Your thoughts race at light speed and your legs finally give out, you sink to your knees and sobs freely fall out of you.
“I-I hope those tears aren’t for me Star,” his voice is gruff, he’s coughing too and you almost think you’re hearing things until your head snaps around and you can see him limping toward you a few feet away.
“Poe? Poe!” You’re slipping on the ground as you clamber to your feet and then you’re sprinting toward him. Uncaring that you were just on the ground sobbing because you thought he was dead. He’s covered in ash and his flight suit is torn in places and singed in others. You just manage to make out the little cuts littering his handsome face that you know he’ll think make him look tough later. Then when you’re within touching distance your hands reach for his face and you don’t even realise you’re kissing him until you are. You’re kissing Poe Dameron and it feels like heaven. You’re holding onto him for dear life as if he might disappear but relief floods your brain, he’s really there, he’s alive. Then suddenly your logical brain kicks in and you abruptly pull away looking at him wide-eyed with disbelief. Your hands move away and back again before resting on his shoulders and your brain just acts like you didn’t just kiss your best friend but he hisses and recoils one shoulder away from your hand.
“Yeah I’m gonna need you to put that back in,” he jokes like you’re not now just staring at his dislocated shoulder. Your relief-addled brain had clearly missed that upon your quick inspection as you raced over. You’re trying to focus on inspecting him for any further injuries now instead of focusing on the way he tasted like those blue candies he buys in bulk because he eats so many. You don’t even look up at him when he calls your name, busying yourself with looking over a cut on his other arm and thinking if you have enough first aid supplies to treat all of this. Then he says your name a bit more sternly, his working arm swatting both yours away and he reaches up to hold your face. He tilts your head up so you’re looking directly at him now and you watch his smile grow, “how long have you been holding out on me?” You must look completely dumbfounded because he chuckles a little before it turns into a cough and then a groan of pain as he buckles over a little. You’re quick to support him, the trained medic in you taking over as you wrap his uninjured arm around your shoulders.
“Come on,” you pause for a second to collect your thoughts and find the right words to say, “we can talk about this later.” It comes out more like a question, hope seeping out of every word.
“Oh we’re not done with this,” he gives you that smug look he does when he gets a bit cocky and you can’t help the way your elbow just ever so slightly nudges his ribs, sending him into another coughing fit and wiping the cocky look off his face.
You laugh just a little as he scolds you, trying and failing to use his ‘in charge commander’ voice, “not funny! Gonna write you up for that.”
“I’d like to see you try,” still chuckling, you glance at his dislocated shoulder, the side with which he writes and you see it click in his brain when he realises.
“Oh ha ha, laugh at the injured man. I can type with my other hand y’know,” your body’s still riding high on the adrenaline but your heart is calm. Poe’s here with you, you’re both alive and maybe you’re in love with each other and you just never realised.
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cattocavo · 21 days
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Six sketch sunday
Thanks so much for tagging me @thewholelemon
I actually have something pretty exciting to share if i do say so myself!
In november 2022 i did a master study of romeo and juliet by frank bernard dicksee. I was very happy with it. But over time I’ve become less and less happy with it, specifically how baz looks :((
This is due to the fact that i traced A LOT in late 2022 (I was 15 ok, I’m sure we’ve all had one of those phases😭) I traced the whole painting, but baz was hard bc the original painting featured a woman, and her whole figure was covered by a white loose dress. 2022 me did their best interpreting the shapes and forming a new body for baz, but honestly they didn’t do it very well. Ive hated Baz’s face and body for a while now, but still loved simon and the painting in general. Which is why I came to the conclusion that for me to be at peace and happy with it again, I have to remaster it!
And again I’ve had this on my mind for a while now, mulling it over, because it’s quite a big project. But 7 days ago i finalized my decision and started looking at references and whatnot. It took me so long to find references bc I was confused of the angle of Juliet’s head in the original painting (so I’ve changed the angle whoops) and i needed to make sense of it all. Before i knew it i had spent 5 hours (according to procreates tracker) drawing, and literally nothing had changed.. but then i spent like 2 hours more and THAT did it. It was like digging a whole in the ground searching for water. You dig a little and nothing happens, and when you finally dig deep enough the water reveals itself like a goldmine.
Anyways, i haven’t gotten around to do any recoloring yet, so ill show you the sketch (ahem, traced) of my 2022 version versus what I have now
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The one on the left is the 2022 version. The one on the right is the current sketch.
I’m trying to incorporate a lot more body language from baz this time around. I think the old sketch of baz was very rigid. His torso is very short 💀 my biggest issue was his face though. It was far too feminine. The bone structure wasn’t exactly giving baz, in fact the whole face didn’t look like baz to me. The expression also bothered me, it was too superficial. Like it’s exactly the predictable expression you expect him to have. I tried to spice it up in the new version by making him appear a bit more anguished. It’s romeo and juliet after all.
Im currently looking at references to what clothes he should be wearing (don’t worry, i wont cover up his sleeves. Even if it’s more time period accurate) so if y’all have any inspo or suggestions, feel free to share them with me!
While baz is the inly thing getting completely redone, I’m also touching up some other thins. Just giving it a more refined, finished look overall. The plants in the original were really messily done, so i’m gonna work a lot on those. 2022 me also slacked on the curtains, so I’m repainting those to match the original frank bernard painting.
Once I’m done with it all i think i might sell some prints. Ive gotten requests to sell prints of this one before, but never really got around to do more than research. If i do make prints, I’m a bit worried they’ll all go to waste bc they’ll have to be shipped from denmark, and shipping in expensive :(( (I’ve tried to set up middlemen and it didn’t work for me. Red bubble wont even allow me to add a credit card😬) but if y’all are still interested in prints, do let me know! Ill definitely put in more of an effort to make it happen if i know it wont be in vain :))
Thats all from me for today :3 see ya next time
(Also check out what my COBB partner @thewholelemon is doing! It’s gonna be so good!)
Tags! @monbons @raenestee @j-nipper-95 @orange-peony
Id love to see what y’all are doing!
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mrs-gucci · 1 year
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It’s Just Politics (Part 1 of 2)
Commander Mills x senator!Reader (f)
written for my welcome back celebration, phase one. 
y’all voted, y’all wanted me to write some more Mills, so here I am :) this is part one of two, so enjoy the beginning of the story and get excited for part two which will be coming soon!!
content warnings. accidentally walking in on someone naked (he walks in on her), implied/mentioned age difference (gap not specified, Mills is 36)
word count: 3.4k (...whoops)
summary~ Commander Mills reluctantly takes a last-minute job captaining the Senator of Somaris’s personal ship on a flight to Cyllene for this year’s galactic policy conference. Both of them get much, much more than they bargained for...but they’re not necessarily complaining about it.
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"You're kidding me."
Jai shakes his head, continuing to submit order forms for ship parts.
"I'm dead serious, man. Travis wants you to do it, it'll pay well, and you won't be gone for that long. At least two weeks, it's just to Cyllene for the annual galactic policy conference. Simple."
"Nothing is ever simple with her, you know that. She's impossible to deal with." Mills huffs. "What happened to her captain? Why can't he do it?"
"Dunno. I think he transferred or is off on a long-range mission. I can't remember, but you should take it. Even though the Senator is a bit of a difficult client, she has a lot of power and could easily help you get a higher-paying job."
Mills knows Jai is right. He should take this job; he needs the money after paying for Nevine's treatments. He has to continue supporting his wife even if their marriage is a bit on the rocks.
"Fine," he says after a moment. "I'll tell Travis that I'll take the job."
Jai smiles, walking past his coworker and giving him a pat on the back as he does so. He lets out a soft chuckle. "Good man. Just...try not to kill her, okay?"
Mills hums, smiling ever so slightly.
"No promises."
***
"Are all of my dresses packed properly?" you ask the service droid as it begins to load your things onto the dolly. "It's of the utmost importance that they not be wrinkled. I want to represent Somaris to the best of my ability at this year's conference."
"Yes, Mistress," the droid says. "I made sure to pack each one myself."
You nod slightly. "Good. Thank you, I always appreciate your hard work, PZ."
"Of course. I am always at your service, Senator."
PZ finishes loading the bags and quickly takes them to the royal vessel while you prepare for the long journey ahead. You always hate going up into space, but unfortunately, it's an integral part of your job, so you have to do it more often than you'd prefer.
You walk to the docking bay, and you stop as soon as you see him walking towards your ship.
"You're kidding me."
Mills huffs out a soft laugh as he passes you. "Yeah, that's what I said too."
"Tell me you're not the one flying the ship. Please, please tell me you're not in charge of this trip--" You catch up to him.
"I need the money, alright?" Mills says, jaw clenching. "That's the only reason I agreed to it. Trust me, I wish I didn't have to, but there's hardly any work for pilots right now."
"No need to give me your whole life story, Mills. I won't cry you a river like others may have."
You roll your eyes and walk towards the ship ramp, immediately colliding with him. Apparently, he decided to step forward at that exact moment that you did. You huff and leave him in the dust, boarding the ship and immediately going to your sleeping quarters. 
This'll be an interesting journey, that much you're sure of...
***
For the third time in the thirty minutes you've been flying, your water glass nearly falls onto the floor as the ship suddenly jerks to the side, then a bit downward, before returning to a steady state. You shut the computer off and walk to the cockpit, immediately hearing Mills's grumblings as he reaches across the controls console. 
"I know you dislike me, but I didn't think you'd try any sort of murder attempt until much later in the trip," you say, crossing your arms as you stand in the doorway. "And I must say, I'm extremely disappointed in your efforts thus far."
Mills's jaw clenches once again. And here he was, starting to relax now that he's mostly figured out the new controls...
"For now, I figured having you get sick would be satisfying enough," he says, turning around to look at you. "The murder attempts will be much more obvious, I assure you. Plus, keeping you alive until after the conference is in my best interest, so I get paid for at least half of the trip."
You chuckle dryly. "Fair point. Now, are you sure that all of your licenses and qualifications aren't expired? Because you're flying this ship almost as badly as I do, and I don't have any licenses."
"I've never flown a ship with such unnecessarily complicated controls," he replies simply. "This is a class of ship I'm not used to handling."
"Mm, mhm. Sure, my ship's definitely the problem. You could never be at fault for not having flown a diverse range of ships in your many years of being a pilot...because you're old."
He huffs. "Really, you're resorting to calling me 'old' now? You can't find any more halfway decent or clever comebacks in your apparently vast bank of them?"
You smirk slightly. "So you admit that my comebacks are clever and good?"
"No, I said they're clever and halfway decent," he says, unable to help the tiny upward twitch of the corner of his mouth. "Big difference. Also, I'm not old."
"Everyone who's old tried to say they're not old. If you're over 40, you're officially old."
"How old do you think I am?" He looks back at you.
"I dunno," you shrug. "Like 40."
"Fuck, I'm 36," he grumbles, turning back to flip a switch on the panel. "Go back to your quarters, Senator. I'll try to keep the ship under control, although I doubt it'll be to your very high standards."
You turn and begin to walk away. Suddenly, the ship dips again, and you nearly lose your balance, falling into the wall. You whip your head around and hear the softest of chuckles from the cockpit, rolling your eyes at the sound.
"Just do your damn job, Mills."
***
Mills sighs as he flips the autopilot switch and prepares to head off to his sleeping quarters. He probably should've asked where his quarters were before takeoff, but honestly, he didn't even think of it at the time. He was too busy dealing with you.
As much as he hates to admit it, you actually intrigue him. You're young, beautiful, and incredibly hard-headed. All qualities he saw in his wife when he first met her.
Several doors line the hallway, and Mills picks the one closest to the cockpit. It opens, and it's a closet filled to the brim with luggage and garment bags. He huffs, then shuts it promptly.
He moves to the next door, already mentally checking out for the night. When it opens, his eyes widen. 
You're standing completely bare, applying your body lotion before you dress for bed. You turn around and gasp, quickly covering your breasts before turning away.
"Get out!"
Mills, for a moment, can't bring himself to move. Fuck, it's been a while since he's seen a naked woman, and you're so--
"GET OUT!" you exclaim, looking back at Mills. "OUT!!"
He suddenly snaps back into reality, muttering an apology before shutting the door and letting out a shaky breath. He tries to commit it all to memory: how your skin shone in the dim lamplight, your plump breasts and hardened nipples, the beautiful curve of your hips...
Turning away, he walks to the final door in the hall, which contains a small cot. He puts his things into the small dresser and tries not to revisit his memories of your body. It's highly inappropriate for him to lust after a woman years his junior, especially since he hates you, and you two have yet to have a non-argumentative conversation.
Suddenly, the door slides open as Mills takes off his shirt. He turns around and sees you, now dressed in a nightgown, looking absolutely infuriated. But he doesn't miss how your eyes dart down his body momentarily.
"What is wrong with you??" You ask angrily, glaring up at him. "Why didn't you close the door right away? Why'd you keep looking at me? Are you some kind of pervert or something?"
He huffs, turning away from you.
"No, I'm not a pervert. I just froze up for a moment. I was surprised. I thought the room would be empty...it won't happen again. It was an accident."
"Mhm. Aren't you married? How would your wife feel if she saw you staring like that?"
"Yeah, well, she and I aren't exactly on the same page these days," he says, pulling his sleep shirt on before turning to you again. "So what, you wanna see my dick, make us even?"
Well, kind of.
You huff, crossing your arms. "No," you say. "Because I'm a lady and would never do anything like that."
Mills chuckles. "Mhm. You just keep telling yourself that."
He reaches for the pants resting over his hips. "If you're such a lady, I suggest you head out before you see anything improper. God forbid."
"Goodnight to you too, Captain."
***
Mills's quarters are open when you pass by, so who wouldn't be curious about what secret life this guy could be living? You look around, then step inside. It's very basic; he's brought almost nothing personal. Well, almost nothing. You spot a holoprojector lying on his bed.
Is the great Commander Mills enjoying some pornography during his downtime?
Chuckling softly at the thought, you pick it up carefully and turn it on, purely out of curiosity. What comes up is incredibly unexpected. It's a young girl playing with a toy ship. Suddenly, it clicks in your mind: this is his daughter. Before she…
You scroll to the next one, and the next, and the next, watching only a few seconds of each. Then, you reach one where she's looking much sickly. She's got a nasal cannula in, and her cough, which you noticed throughout the videos, is much worse.
And then, you flip to the very last side. It's the voice of your wife, hand on your daughter's lifeless one.
Oh no—
"What are you doing?"
You gasp softly, startled at the sound. He's calm, but a certain edge to his voice sends a little chill down your spine.
"I-I..." you don't have an answer. "I thought this was something--"
"Give that to me," he snaps, snatching it from your hands and turning it off. "This is my quarters, my personal space. What's so hard to understand about that, huh?!"
You open your mouth to speak. He doesn't allow it.
"I would never think to step into your room and look through your belongings. You think just because you're a senator that you outrank me and can do whatever the fuck--"
"That's not it!" you say suddenly. "It was wrong, alright? I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I let my curiosity get the best of me. I didn't think you'd have anything like that."
For a moment, Mills is genuinely surprised at your quick admittance of guilt. He thought you'd surely make up some bullshit excuse as to why you're in here looking through his daughter's holo memories.
Just seeing that bit of the final holo of his daughter already has him tearing up, but there's no way in the galaxy he's gonna cry in front of you. He looks away, setting the holoprojector back down on the top of his dresser.
"Go."
You're at a loss for words. Look at what you've done; you've violated his privacy and forced him to relive such an awful memory. All because you wanted to get some dirt on him. It all seems silly and stupid now. "Look, Mills, I'm really--"
Tears are threatening to slip down his cheeks. He needs you to leave before you see him break down.
"Leave!" he snaps again, although his voice is much shakier this time. "Leave me a-alone!"
You swallow harshly, then walk back towards the door. You pause for a moment, looking back at him, seeing how his whole body shakes as he tries to keep his sobs.
"I'm truly sorry."
He says nothing, waiting until the door closes to let out the quiet but violent cries he's been holding in.
*
When dinner rolls around, you sit in the same seat you usually do at the small table. Except there's no sign of Mills anywhere. He's stayed on the bridge with the door shut all day. PZ brings out your meal, then sets Mills's down at his usual spot. 
"Where is the Captain?" PZ asks. "Will he not be joining you for dinner this evening?"
You shrug slightly, looking over at the bridge door. "I don't know, PZ. He hasn't left his pilot's seat all day."
"Well, perhaps I should--"
"No," you interrupt. "You don't wanna irritate him. He's had a rough day. I'll take it to him if he doesn't come out."
PZ nods, then walks back to continue checking on your dresses. You sigh softly and eat alone, occasionally looking over at the door. Nothing.
You really don't wanna take the food in, but you know it's the right thing to do. Plus, it'll give you time to hopefully apologize again for earlier without him yelling or getting too upset.
With a deep breath, you press the 'open' button, and the door whooshes, revealing the tall back of the pilot's chair. Various controls on the panel flash and beep. He reaches over to silence them.
"Yes?"
You step forward. "I have your dinner. I figured you wouldn't wanna come out to eat with me--"
"A correct assumption."
"...so I brought your dinner in here."
He nods. "Thank you."
You set the plate down to the side.
"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened earlier," you say sincerely. "It wasn't my place to snoop around your quarters, and I apologize. I also...I didn't know about your daughter. I'm sorry about that, too."
Mills says nothing but turns around in the chair to look at you. After a moment, he nods slightly. "Thank you for apologizing. And I'm sorry that I snapped like that. It's just a hard thing for me to revisit."
"Of course, and I completely understand why you reacted the way you did. I deserved that, but you didn't deserve to have your private life violated like that. I'm sorry, truly. I feel terrible about it."
He's very much surprised by your sudden remorse and show of emotion. You rarely soften like this, and it makes him wonder if he's jumped to conclusions too soon. Maybe you're not always the hard-ass, demanding, a stubborn politician you make yourself out to be. 
"All is forgiven, Senator. I promise it's alright. I appreciate you apologizing."
You nod, offering him a small smile. "Great. I'd hate for us to be on shitty terms for the rest of the journey."
"Agreed," Mills nods. "Thanks for bringing my dinner. I'll see you tomorrow, Senator."
"See you tomorrow, Captain."
***
"Wait, wait..." you start, huffing softly. "You're telling me we have to stop on Zexade for fuel? I thought this ship could carry enough fuel for the entire journey. I've never had this problem before."
"There's a first time for everything," Mills replies simply, flicking a few switches on the dashboard. "We had to take an alternate route around a nebula, which took more fuel than anticipated. Zexade should have what we need."
"How long is that gonna take? We cannot be late to this conference, Mills. It's super important that we arrive on time--"
"You'll get there on time, Senator. You insisted we leave two days earlier than we needed to. Do you not remember that?"
Your jaw clenches. "I recall that, yes. But I've been late before, and it was absolutely humiliating. I want to be sure I'm there in advance to begin talking with the other senators."
"The refueling stop shouldn't take more than a few hours. We're on schedule to arrive on Cyllene early." He rolls his eyes. "There's no need to worry about anything. I have it all under--"
A loud crash is heard, and the ship lurches. You stumble, quickly gripping the wall for support.
"Everything's under control, huh?" you ask bitterly. "Then what in the world was that?"
The control panel and the proximity sensor start beeping frantically, and Mills groans. He was worried that something like this would happen. More shots are fired at the ship, and he dodges most of them.
"Get out of here! Strap into a chair or something!"
"What is it? Why are they shooting at the ship--"
Another bold hits the ship and takes a few pieces of paneling off. You nearly fall again.
"Pirates," he says. "They want the ship to salvage and possibly take us hostage for ransom money. Now get into a seat before you get hurt!"
You run back towards the emergency seats, but then you see the hatch for the gunner position. You know at that moment what you need to do. The ship dips again, and you fall into the wall with a soft groan, but you climb into the gunner seat before any more sudden jerks.
Mills' eyebrows furrow when he hears static from a headset hanging on top of a control panel. He lifts it up and puts it on, thinking it could be some sort of communication from the pirates.
"Get me into position," you say, flipping switches and pressing buttons rapidly, warming up the guns. "I can take them out."
"What the fuck are you doing down there?! I told you to strap in--"
"Fuck strapping in; I'm not just gonna sit there and wait for you to let the ship be torn apart. These pirates are gonna take us out if we don't put up some sort of defense."
He knows he should focus on the pirates, but he's still trying to wrap his head around that you apparently know how to operate the gunner position. He's also trying to wrap his head around that he's about to take commands from you.
"Alright, alright," he says, adjusting the headset quickly before swerving more shots. "Do you have a shot?"
Your jaw clenches. "Do you think, if I had a shot, I would have told you to get me into position?!"
This is gonna be harder than he thought.
"Can we save the biting wit and snarky remarks for when we're not getting shot at by pirates, please?!"
"Fine," you huff. "I've almost got a shot on one of the ships. Take a sharp left and drop her down a bit."
He does what you say, and you quickly shoot the pirate ship down, which explodes and takes another one out. You smirk, mentally high-fiving yourself. 
"Suck it!" you say into the microphone, forgetting that it's on. "You just got shot down by a fucking senator, losers!! Ha ha!"
Mills listens and allows a slight smile to tug at the corners of his mouth.
"Your mic is still on, Senator. But thank you for that wonderful piece of audio," he says, looking over at the proximity map. There are two more ships left. "I'm gonna pull up really hard and try to get you a clear shot on the two smaller fighters. Can you do that?"
Your cheeks warm with embarrassment. "Y-Yeah, yeah, of course, I can. Just get me into position, and I'll take care of the rest."
"Good." He chuckles softly and suddenly pulls up, accelerating rapidly. 
You keep your hands on the trigger buttons, holding on tightly as the ship climbs almost directly upwards. The pirate fighters are obviously confused but follow, climbing with us. 
“Do a corkscrew maneuver!” You say into the mic. "Now!"
"What?! You want me to do a what?! You're crazy!"
You growl softly. "Trust me, just do it!!"
Mills grips the steering wheel tightly and begins to spin the ship around and around, cursing you in his head as he begins to feel nauseous. Your eyes narrow, and you shoot at the vessels, hitting one, then the other. 
"I got 'em! We're clear!"
He slows, returns the ship to the usual level state, and sighs, running a hand through his hair. Goddamn, that was fucking crazy. You're...incredibly quick on your feet, and you ultimately made the right call. 
Between your genuine apology and this sudden show of badassery, it's almost hard to believe that Mills is starting to actually like you. He'll never admit that part out loud, but it's true.
You emerge from the hatch and walk to the cockpit, releasing shaky breaths. The adrenaline is still flowing as you head towards Mills' chair.
"So..." you start. He turns and looks at you, and you offer him a teasing smile. "How much longer to Zexade?"
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-- part two (upcoming) --
general taglist: @mrs-zimmerman​
fic-specific taglist: @mrs-zimmerman​ @safarigirlsp​​ @queeniebee​​
◆ wanna join? here’s the link: adcu taglist ◆
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kharmii · 3 months
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I wrote this as a reply to a post, but maybe it should get added to the tags so anybody getting into the ship has a place to look up origins all in one place for context. There are too many people with 'Queen Bee Syndrome' going around pissing in people's cheerios telling them what they can and can't ship. It isn't as bad as they say, yo. It was supposed to be humorous! Anyway....
I've been seeing so much Catholic guilt on Twitter these days where people be like, "I can't believe I used to like Trainwreck! It makes me want to vomit! Why would I think it was sexy to see a guy beating up another guy!" It's either pretentious virtue signaling, or it's coming from scared young girls being brow-beaten by the threat of cancel culture into having to prove how good and perfect they are in fandom. Get over yourselves and check out my collection of vintage Trainwreckshipping posts that (facetiously) explain the context of why violence was funny.
Emmet goes to fight God but Arceus hides behind a pillar and points to Volo.
Manipulative Volo laughs about what he did but...oh no! Here comes the pissed off brother!!
Princess bride meme rough handling of Volo.
Emmet chokes Volo.
TAKE THAT YOU VILE FIEND!! (Emmet punches Volo meme)
Emmet chases Volo riding on Arceus.
Emmet chokes Volo but ends up with a knife pressing into his gut.
Volo plays a mean prank to mess with the twins.
Sexual tension with a knife part 1.
Sexual tension with a knife part 2.
Sexual tension with a knife part 3.
Volo so smug and manipulative; Emmet so crazy.
Death threat.
Emmet bloodies Volo's nose.
Where Volo is actually evil and bad ends Emmet.
Emmet coming to whoop some ass.
Giratina possessed Emmet threatens to assault Volo.
Emmet goes after Volo with a brick.
Brave soul who is still doing toxic trainwreck in modern times.
Oops (It never gets old).
Me taking the piss part 1.
Me taking the piss part 2.
If I missed any, please pm me and I'll add them (and I'll keep adding to this post as I finds 'em).
This might be an unpopular opinion, but if someone gives you a hard time for being into this ship, you could always reply along the lines of, "Fuck you, pretentious, virtue-signaling twat. I don't owe you or anybody else anything. Nobody should be judging a person's morality based on what silly thing they ship" It might not get you any friends now, but I'm holding out hope we one day get past cancel culture. Currently, we give too much power to seasoned bullies who use the current political environment as a way to get around the social stigma of anti-bullying campaigns.
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cosmerelists · 6 months
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True Confessions of a Cosmere Blogger
[There's a Stormlight spoiler in here! For Oathbringer specifically]
Followers, friends, people who ended up here through tumblr's broken search function: it is time. Time for me to lay bare all of my most terrible secrets as a Cosmere blogger. I am ready, and I hope you are too, for these very honest and real confessions.
1. I don't fucking know how to spell Gavinar Galivar Gavilar's name
Real talk: I had to look up the spelling to make this joke because I couldn't remember which was the right spelling and which were the wrong spellings. It's the grandson, I think. It's not fair to have Gavilar (I had to look at the wiki again) and Gavinor (I had to look this up too) have such similar names, not to mention Dalinar (I'm good there) making me forget whether it's the L or the V first in that dude's name. Seriously, this guy's name is the hardest part of writing any Roshar list.
2. My wife came up with my most popular list
I think my very first post is still my most popular: "How Other Cosmere Characters Would Convince The Stick to Become Fire." And who came up with this awesome idea? My wife! I was hemming and hawing about whether to actually start this blog, and she was like, "Hey, what about a list where everyone tries to convince the stick to become fire?" and let me tell you, that list wrote itself--I couldn't type fast enough. The jokes may be mine, but the idea, which is the funniest part, was all her.
My wife had another really good list idea that I still haven't written, since I haven't found a way to do it justice, but when I finally write it, I bet it'll do great.
3. I don't watch Brandon Sanderson's videos
I don't know. I just have trouble watching Videos On The Internet. I had to FORCE myself to watch the Secret Projects announcement since nobody would say what it was, and that was super hard.
4. I don't read fanfic
I think my blog would classify as fanfic, so it would be fair to say that I write it but I don't read it. I've only read like two fics in my life, and they were both because the girl I had a crush on at the time ordered me to (and yes...it was Wincest). No real idea why I don't read it; just something about my brain, I guess. It does mean that I am trying to understand shipping dynamics and fan preferences through tumblr osmosis, which is why my shipping-based lists may occasionally just leave out some huge pairing I was entirely unaware of (like Navani & Ialai, apparently! Whoops)
5. This is my third list blog
I like to pretend that "list blog" is a genre. It actually worked for a while! I had atlalists first--I joined tumblr because I was writing lists for my own amusement and my roommate at the time told me they thought it would do well on tumblr-- and then bleachlists. Bleachlists was the height of my success; I got so many asks & list requests that I had to create a whole separate blog, askbleachlists, just to handle them. I wrote three lists...A DAY. And some other people made their own "list blogs" inspired by bleachlists, which was wonderful. People made art--I still have some of the bleach art people made hanging in my office. It was fun! Then I left tumblr for a while, and now I'm back with cosmerelists.
6. I thought about making this blog a LONG time before I did it
It just felt really scary! The Cosmere has so much lore and so many characters and so many magic systems and I do NOT have a handle on it all. I read Stormlight Archive 2 1/2 times in preparation, hoping to at least have a handle on that part. But what helped, actually, was going to the Cosmere DragonCon panel last year, listening to the questions, and realizing that nobody really understood the majority of what was going on. So that made me feel better. And in the end, it was just something I wanted to do, and it's my way of enjoying a fandom, so I thought I'd give it a try.
7. Sometime I forget major plot points (Oathbringer spoiler)
I put Demid in a poll as a Bondsmith candidate and people were like, "isn't he dead?" I still don't remember him dying. I'm so sorry, Demid.
At least I can spell your name...right?
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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 months
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hello steeeeephhhh :D
yet another rant incoming - hold on! (or ignore your choice lmao)
but like-
OKAY.
idk why it took me so long to watch the rdj sherlock holmes movies but like... HAHAAHAHAHAH HOW CAN A MOVIE TRY SO DESPERATELY TO BE STRAIGHT AND END UP SO BEAUTIFULLY GAYYYYY
lmaoooo literally can't. it's just too funny!!!
i watched them both (are there really only two?) (nvm i just looked it up myself - yes there are only two)
thaha. holmes constantly trying to sabotage watson's relationship with mary and watson actually giving in to holmes' attempts to keep him company... it is hilarious!
OH aaalso... the first one was made before the bbc show right? it's funny to see the parallels between those!
(bbc did better but honestly nothing will ever be better than bbc sherlock to me...)
(jude law is an amazing watson!!! not entirely convinced of rdj as sherlock holmes. maybe i didn't buy his british accent xD (or maybe i am just too big of a sucker for benny boi xD) (who am i kidding ofc i am too big of a sucker for benefit cumbernoodle))
ANYGAYS!!! i hope youre okay and i am sending you hugs!!!
btw i am sorry for my random rants in your inbox but... i don't know i just love the way you interact with your asks... ask-people? what is that called??? idk but i hope you know what i mean!)
whoop!! reminded me of how much i love sherlock haha (not that i could ever forget i am just in desperate need of a rewatch)
(am i making too many brackets?) (i totally am) (shut up turtely it's getting awkward) OKAYYYY BYYEEE
love you take care youre wonderful and loved and beautiful and perfect just the way you are and I NEED TO STOP AND BRING THIS TO AN END NOW!!!
-🐢
Hey Turtely!!!
OMG I LOVE RDJ Holmes, and it's so BEAUTIFUL. The first one came out in 2009, and Sherlock came out in 2010, so yes, RDJ Holmes was first, and I fell in love with that one first (I got into Sherlock in 20...13? Just before season 3). The two RDJ films are still a couple of my faves, and there's been talks for YEARS for a third one (I know both RDJ and Law want to do it, but I think the problem is all the issues plaguing WB...)
AND OMG the BEST PART?? Law literally shamed a reporter for calling their relationship a bromance; I think they BOTH want the third one to be an explicit queer relationship, but I think the big hurdle is the studio interference and (BEFORE 2023) was the remaining copyrights not having expired. NOW that all the ACD canon is public domain, the big hurdle is the WB.
Anyway, I love them, SO MUCH. I ship them SO hard, and now I think I'm gonna go rewatch the movies because they're SO beautiful. I love them to bits.
Since it's been over a decade since the last one, I would LOVE SH3 to explore them older and together. I think that would be lovely.
I have a lot of fun stuff in my rdj holmes , ritchie holmes , and sherlock holmes 2009 tags you can check out!
And thank you for your kind words. I will try my best to take care of myself <3 My heart is a squishy at the praise LOL
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