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15minlatewithbatbucks · 8 months

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One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.

Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-

Steph: I'm the realest.

Jason: Shut the fuck up.

Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.

Tim: That's right, a very important mission.

Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?

Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.

Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.

Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.

Jason: You shut the fuck up too.

---

Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.

Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.

Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?

Dick: Right.

Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.

Tim: *wheezes*

Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.

Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.

Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.

Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.

Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.

Jason: I'd vote for you.

Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.

Tim: Like, the whole city is-

Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.

Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.

Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.

Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.

Jason: Don't jump the gun.

Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.

Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.

Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.

Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.

Jason: Solid four out of ten.

Tim: Fuck off.

Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.

Steph: You did come back from the dead.

Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.

Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.

Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?

Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.

Duke: Well?

Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.

Dick: ...

Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-

Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.

Steph: What about-

Dick: Duke won.

#tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #stephanie brown #cassandra cain #duke thomas #my writing tag #this is obviously a joke and not a real 1:1 representation of reasons to seek therapy #let's see how long before someone wildly misinterprets it #batfamily

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sharonisthebettercarter · 9 months

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we need to talk about common comic opinion for the boys

so i read the comics.

was curious for a while, buddies wanted to do it, finally bit the bullet and MAN OH MAN~<3

there's common opinion that swirls around from people who *have not read the comics* need i remind, an opinion that they are merely *meaningless edgelord drivel* or the like.

i'm here to bust that misconception, smack it upside the head and drag it around the fuckin' town and kick it till it's caved in because it couldn't be more *wrong* if it tried.

first thing i'll say is that the comics *don't* compare in what you'd call 'gratuitous edginess' to the show. while they have their 'bit on the nose moments', they're drawings that go panel by panel. even what they *could* show wouldn't compare, and it honestly doesn't. (coming from someone who's also watched the show too many times over now and got a nice fresh read in)

robin's death is more brutal *in the show*. there is more blood and gore. *in the show*. the arguably edgiest thing between both of them is a guy exploding another guy from inside his urethra, which *only happens in the show*

and for those that have no clue about the big twist or comics homie and try to make blocks of analysis for a character they have zero actual information or decent research on.

homelander is worse. *in the SHOW*.

granted, both have similar enough structure with reversed character development/reveal, but i digress

butcher is just THE biggest fucking bottom by the way, lord satan i CAN NOT with that boi--

anywho~<3

the 'meaningless' part? well that's just a big fat lie and i'll say it up front. that shit needs to stop. this thing was definitely an emotional rollercoaster, and while it may be true that it's not for everyone, it was far from meaningless and actually brilliantly written and even researched.

it's raw, it feels real half the time, it teaches valuable lessons, and even when you're in the notion of 'okay, where is this going, it's sus', when you stick with it? you get rewarded fucking beautifully.

there are moments you'd disagree with the characters actions in a way that makes them feel humanly flawed. of course they might do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, so do real life humans?? there are cross cultural miscommunication references and conversations that show ennis knew what he was doing and why he did it a certain way. and yeah, it can be too much to handle for some,

*but if you honestly feel that way you shouldn't be watching the show either*

and here's what it's not.

meaningless, ill-thought, pointless, edgelord drivel.

it *is* an intricate and well done, brutally *honest* creative critique of the *military industrial complex*, *corporate capitalism*, and a couple other things expertly squeezed in. even touching on *abuse* and hitting all the right spots for how it can psychologically fuck with people. the ending punches you in the fucking feels as you could appropriately expect it to with a hard side of begrudged satisfaction.

good fucking satan these things were an excellent read that compelled me to want moar from start to finish, and yeah, if you have watched the show then i *highly* recommend them because the important topics and themes touched on are presented much better in the comic, even with the sometimes wonky ass art in place of hawt actors to distract you, lmao

but seriously? the lot of you that keep spouting nonsense from your clenched up assholes without actually bothering to look at the source material need to stop. all you're doin' is actin' damn fools and showing off high and mighty opinions based on complete mis-education if not un-education.

and f.y.i.... also being the damn fools both the comics AND show make fun of.

so remember that line billy says?

'but the main reason you don't hear about it is cause the public don't want to know about it.'

that's y'all. legit, at this point. more specifically, y'all would be the 'public' that wants to live with rose tinted glasses instead of acknowledging that reality is more brutal than we often want to see or admit.

why else would you keep denouncing and dismissing the comics and source material of something you allegedly love?

because some other schmuck on the internet said a lie, gave you hearsay, or a rumor they heard through a grapevine on a game of telephone that said it wasn't worth looking into yourself?

well i'll call bullshit on that straight up but what are y'all so afraid of??

couple other things i will say, if you hate butcher for being the biggest worldclass cunt, you will absolutely feel vindicated and have your feelings or possibly lovehate boner (like mine~) completely validated with what happens in these comics (and if i'm being honest about the direction of the show, weeeeelllll...~<3 lemme not tho lmao<3 still def the biggest bottom, out bottoms hughie by far, i wanna see him get railed by vas/love sausage)

i will also say, billy is 100% wrong in the comic and the show is slowly but surely unraveling that truth there as well, if it's not clear enough by now. what he does isn't for becky/becca, and definitely not for ryan either. it never was.

it's for his father, no i will not elaborate cause read the damn comics. (but also, people need to stop fucking forgetting that HUGHIE is the *actual* good guy here, not billy... billy is a bad guy... billy is objectively worse than homelander in many MANY canon ways and remember that reverse character development i mentioned--.)

contrast, if you *love* butcher, you will likely be disappointed in the show, but the comics will help prepare you for it (they also make too many things CLEAR)

unfortunately, you do not get sweetheart noir in this and while i love his show counterpart, bearing with cunt 9000 noir is worth it. (it also sparked fic ideas for me cause why not both~<3)

LOVE SAUSAGE IS UNREAL AND PERFECT~<3<3<3 if nothing else, comics love sausage at least deserves your full attention.

homelander's as always is a fun boi, show homelander by comparison is basically *final stage* comics homie (full throttle evil berserk type shit/just before it hits) take everything you thought you knew about (comics) him, and throw it out the fuckin' window.

boi does some fucked up shit... and ALSO has fucking mental breakdowns and visceral reactions like throwing up to doing evil shit because he literally can't stomach it and is trying to convince himself that he is the bad guy because he's been gaslit--.

and i'ma stop there. read the fuckin' comic if you actually wanna know just how deep that homie rabbit hole goes.

and i will absolutely use the idea of him having legit *adverse reactions to doing evil shit* in a fic because FUCK. YES. that was a sad but lovely detail and would make for a perfect fuckin'a alibi<3

anywho~<3, if you recognize he's a victim in the show? the comics. read them cause OOOOOHHHH--.

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sonofthesaiyans · 6 months

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Snap Poll: I'm going to regret this.....

I got a question for you folks here. And it's one I'm probably going to hate myself for asking because I don't know what to think in this fandom these days. But you all recall the real reason I set up this presence here on Tumblr to begin with, in my long crusade to confront everything wrong about Attack on Titan. And that's what compels me to ask this:

Sasha Braus. Gabi Braun.......

You know how I feel about these two. You've heard me RAGE about these two. You've heard me wish for the love of God that the story NEVER went the route it did with them. Their tale has been an everlasting torture for me psychologically. A wrong that has never been made right.

There is no Attack on Titan without Sasha. The only way I would have accepted Gabi, even begrudgingly, is if Isayama had never made them cross paths as he chose to, with Gabi snuffing Sasha out and seemingly stealing her place in the show as a far less likable stand-in. The two could not be more different, despite their skills with a gun. And I think a lot more of value was lost in having Gabi slay Sasha than in letting the two girls interact in any meaningful way.

And that's not even getting into all the other problems with Gabi's execution, right down to her superfluous, excessive screentime in comparison to Sasha who was shafted on one too many occasions when it was her time to shine. But that's an old can of worms to be reopened later.

I don't know why I feel compelled to ask, but simple question for you all;

NOTE: I reserve the right to delete this poll at any time if I find good cause to do so.

If I see anybody making any crass cracks, I will shut that down. If you're one of those lunatics who comes on to claim the two girls are alike or look alike, I will shut that down.

In short, watch what you say on here and we won't have a problem.

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the-badger-mole · 2 years

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The Long Way Back

No one owes Azula anything.

Go with me here. I don't hate Azula. I think she's a wonderfully complicated and genuinely frightening villain. But I do still think she's a villain.

Azula did a lot of harm, and while the fact that she was very probably abused is an explanation for why she is the way she is, it's not an excuse, and it doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy it. She very nearly succeeded in killing Iroh, and Aang only survived because of Katara's intervention (I won't go into my belief that she's killed before that...but yeah, she absolutely has). Azula's on-screen kill count only remains at 0 because of plot convenience (and the fact that it's a kids' show). That's not even getting into all the ways she was terrible to Zuko and added psychological abuse to what he was already getting from Ozai. She's never remorseful about any of it.

That lack of remorse is what confuses me most about apologists who think that Azula deserves not only to be forgiven but to be reconciled with her family and friends (and the friends of her family). Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that Zuko and even Iroh would forgive Azula, it wouldn't necessarily mean that either of them would want to reconcile with her. Forgiveness and reconciliation aren't the same thing. Forgiveness can be part of one's personal journey of healing, but it doesn't mean that one will seek reconciliation with the person who wronged them. For the sake of their own mental health and well-being, a person may choose to forgive abusive family members, but still ultimately be no contact with them. That's not contradictory. Sometimes letting go of the past means leaving people there.

On the other side of that, it's completely understandable that after being pushed and harmed and tortured, someone may decide not to forgive the person who caused the harm. This idea that any of the Gaang, but specifically Katara should have to forgive Azula is frankly ridiculous. Yes, Katara forgave Zuko, but don't forget, Zuko had to work for that forgiveness. He wanted that forgiveness. The context of Katara and Zuko's reconciliation is very specific to them. It does not mean that Katara is going to extend the same forgiveness and reconciliation to everyone. Katara is forgiving, yes, but only to a point. She has her limits. I have yet to see anyone present a compelling reason for Katara to not only forgive Azula, but to want to have any sort of relationship with her. I have yet to see any compelling reason that Azula would care to have Katara's forgiveness. Katara's relationship with Zuko isn't enough on its own. I could see somewhere down the line them being cordial to each other for Zuko's sake (assuming Azula isn't exiled forever because of what she did), but that's it.

If Zuko forgave Azula and reconciled with her, he wouldn't force Katara to do the same. He would be very understanding of Katara keeping her distance from Azula, even keeping her children away, because, at the end of the day, Azula isn't owed a relationship with anyone. She isn't owed reconciliation with anyone. Further, she hasn't earned reconciliation or a relationship with anyone. You can absolutely headcanon that she has. You can headcanon that Aang got past her killing him, or that Sokka and Suki got past her (implied) torture of Suki. That's totally fine. But personally, I prefer not to, and I think Azula is more interesting for it.

#atla #azula #azula thoughts #zutara #just a lil' bit tho #anti azula #not really #but i'll tag it anyway because some of yall don't know how to act #for anyone who thinks aang would forgive her #well...sure but only because he avoids conflict at all costs #being angry at azula might lead to some conflict #being a jellyfish isn't the same thing as being compassionate #you can hold someone accountable and still be a forgiving person #aang just can't live with the thought that someone doesn't like him #don't argue with me #it's canon

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areus-in-a-little-cave · 1 year

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I used to be a fan of cdream. i got into the fandom on account of reading some fanfic of him so I was interested in his story. I like villains but I don’t claim they have done nothing wrong and obviously he did bad things. So I was very disappointed on making his character a woobified ending? maybe I would have read a fanfic about it but it being his ending made me quite disappointed. blarg

No, yeah. It was such a bad ending. Even though Tommy never apologized to Dream, the idea that abusers will become better people because you understand them and show them kindness is... gross, at best, and dangerous at worst.

If you want to tell a compelling narrative of an abuse victim learning to understand their abuser, that could work! It could even work for c!Tommy since he is a very understanding character at his core. Working with the idea that an abuser is no more than just a person, you can do a lot with that and tell a great story.

Hell, I've done a lot with that! Not to bring up my own fanfics, but in the Broken Rhythms, Tommy struggles with the idea that Techno sees Dream as a monster because he sees him as a person because he knew Dream for ten years and Dream was his closest relationship.

Anyway, when it comes to why it doesn't work in canon, it's because. well. okay, Tommy understands why Dream did what he did. Because he wanted the simple, peaceful life he once had. What does that actually change?

Dream still abused Tommy. Dream still beat him to death and tortured him for months. Dream was still actively hunting him down, trying to kill him and his friends, and tormenting him psychologically.

You cannot have a character come to understand their abuser while the abuser is actively in the process of hurting them. What would have changed in their relationship? Dream, still trying to hurt Tommy, would have just gained a less resistant victim!

Seriously. Dream is now understood by Tommy. Tommy is now nice to him. Great! Dream is still his fucking abuser, by the way, and Tommy is easier to deal with because he understands why Dream does this so he fights back less. That is a horrible narrative and the only direction their relationship would have gone if they hadn't been blown up!

Remember when else Tommy was nice to Dream? Exile! Dream sure wasn't a good person then, was he?

Okay, but sure, fine. Play along. Dream is now nicer because Tommy understands him and is nice to him.

That implies that Tommy, to some degree as Dream's ongoing abuse victim, was in the wrong for fighting back.

That implies that Tommy should have some blame for how Dream treats him, like Dream's actions against Tommy are valid in some manner and don't majorily overstep the line of how to respond to things like Tommy acting out against the server authority.

That implies that the ends (having peace on the server and Dream being happy with his friends) justify the means (driving a 16 year old to suicide, murdering him, trying to kill his friends, torturing him mentally, and many other things).

That implies that by Tommy fighting back against his abuse and trying to live his life in peace without Dream, he was actively making Dream's life worse.

That implies that Tommy is at fault for Dream's abuse against him.

Seriously, it's such a bad choice. I don't know how they got it so wrong.

#areus rambles #// dream #ask to tag #okay to reblog btw #tw abuse #tw victim blaming #tw suicide mention #dsmp neg #dsmp crit

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elder-dragon · 1 year

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[fic] it can only remain poisoned

Lucilaeh knows she shouldn't be doing this, knows she's just walking back into the danger.

But the haze calls to her, so she sneaks back into the depths in the dead of night.

***

2.6k words. On AO3.

What Lies Beneath made me completely unhinged.

Notes on AO3:

I should probably have waited for chapter 17 to come before writing this but I seriously needed to get this out of my system and I SWEAR I am Very Normal about MMORPG Guild Wars 2 Expansion End of Dragons Chapter 16 What Lies Beneath Final Instance Deep Trouble oughhhh

This fic has: Gavin from the White Stag personal story NPC, OC-specific Mordremoth-related trauma, and a little bit of my headcanons on thief/specter shadow magic.

Content notes: Canon-typical violence, emotional self-harm, emotional baggage, psychological horror (I..guess? I’m bad w/ genres), hallucinations

***

There's barely a moon in the blackened night sky when she finally sneaks back into the haze after a week of enduring the urge. She's been recovering, letting her brother fuss and worry about her while she figures out what to tell Logan and Rytlock and Aurene regarding this recent adventure, and Lucilaeh knows she shouldn't be doing this, knows she's just walking back into the danger. But she doesn't even know why she wants to go back in, after the terrors that had awaited their team. Would she find the demon again? Or something else? Surely there is something better calling to her, compelling her, like a Wyld Hunt's push and pull.

She's supposed to be waiting for Gorrik to get his experiment together, but things had their way of working out...right?

She doesn't believe that.

Shadow magic comes easier than ever before here, as she ventures further and further into the depths. It hasn't been this easy since Primordus and Jormag, since before it nearly consumed her from within. Lucilaeh pulls at it, lets it enshroud her and take her presence away until she finds herself just walking past everything that would normally attack her. The haze makes the air thick, almost slimy. Even through her jade bot's filter, she can taste something harsher than oil and blood. It makes her want to retch as much as it did when they first came here, but even then, it had been enthralling, both repulsive and pleasing and she knows she can't stay away.

She stops in her tracks when the scent changes and she smells the sweet, clear air of Astorea. Not the same as when she was training freshly awakened Sylvari in the weeks after the engagement party, but older, cleaner, crisp. Like the first time she consciously took a deep breath before setting off on her first Hunt. As the edges of her vision darken just so, Lucilaeh feels once more like---like a---

"Sapling."

He's standing there amidst the cliffs of jade, the same as his last day on Tyria, armored in Nightmare Court livery and wearing that smile that had fooled her heart.

"Gavin," she breathes his name, and it's so foreign on her tongue that she steps back instead.

"Is that any way to greet your oldest friend?" asks the nightmare before her, spreading his arms in welcome. "After all the trouble you went to, to come save me? And such a naughty sapling you are, to sneak out in the dead of night where the menders can't catch you!"

She shouldn't engage. She can't. She has to go back. She's waiting for Gorrik. Her brother would worry. But his words aren't even right. She was never in Astorea long as a sapling. She walked away from that life and her brother as soon as she opened her eyes and felt the weight of the Dream on her shoulders and feet.

"I didn't come here for you," she tells him. "You betrayed me."

"No?" He quirks his brow at her and chuckles. "Why would you come here if not to see old friends again? Tell me, my dear sapling, aren't you here so you can see me outside your head?"

"You're wrong." And it's getting harder to remember why he's wrong. Why did she come here, if not to see him? Wasn't he right about that? But she does know. She does know what's wrong with his words and she's not going to let it go unsaid again. "You were never just an old friend to me."

Gavin pauses as if he'd never considered such a thing, as if he's thinking over her words. Did he know that this was the extent of what she could tell him on the matter? Lucilaeh had mourned him, had cursed him. She had spent long weeks turning over what she could have done instead for him, and that had only been because he had come so early in her life, before everything and everyone else that she would be responsible for and would never have time to mourn. She had decided back then: her love and pain for him could only ever be the same thing from then on.

He breaks the long silence with a sigh, but his smile grows, stretching ear to ear in a way it never did.

"I understand," he says, and gone is the friendly air, gone is the cunning kindness that always lingered in his eyes. "I was never just merely your friend. I am your dearest regret, the first of many you couldn't save. But you don't care about that, Commander."

"No---" She can't manage more than a whisper, not when it feels as if she's got an arrow in her side again.

"You came here because you want to be hurt, Commander." Gavin steps toward her, but her feet are frozen to the ground. He doesn't look like himself anymore. She's not sure in what way. "Deep down you're eager for something to fight. All these years, you've fought for a peace you never knew---and now that you have it, you're looking for a new monster to hunt because you're nothing without one."

"No...no, I---" Her voice cracks against the still air like a thundering Brandstorm, and it's this that startles her to alertness. Gorrik had explained the effects of the haze on her feelings last time, hadn't he, and that was why she isn't supposed to be here. She breathes in deep and lets the sharp scent of the haze startle the rest of her senses in turn. Lucilaeh squares her shoulders and straightens her back and gazes into the false Gavin's dark eyes and she thinks hard about her brother's firm voice as he warned her, after she had won her duel with Gavin their entire lifetime ago, to renounce their mother so that she would never be hurt by the Hunt again. She remembers balling her fists and squaring her shoulders too, back then, and telling him, she would never let the pain stop her from pursuing her purpose.

She has bled a thousand times for Tyria. She has died for her duty. This is no different.

"No, I know nothing but the fight," Lucilaeh tells the darkness around her, "but I also have known love of all kinds from the moment I awoke. That is how I know there is peace in this world, even if I may never have it for myself. And---I also know what I already told you: I know what you're doing."

Gavin's smile twists further, warps further in a way she's not sure her mind is comprehending. Shadows bleed from him, oozing outward and joining the darkness lapping at her vision.

"But Commander, there will still always be monsters of your own making," he says, "and may you always use your bloodshed to grow your garden."

"Stop." Lucilaeh rushes him, dagger out, and to the surprise of some small part of her he does nothing, instead opening his arms to her once more. She feels it when the dagger pushes into him and his arms wrap around her back, embracing her as if mocking her for what she never could have had.

"I will be remembered..." He trails off as he slumps into her arms, but she senses no life leaving him, only that continuous flowing and swarming of shadows.

She stands tall. Still as she can. Long lost feelings wash over her in waves, and she doesn't fight them this time, letting them pass through her. She imagines herself like Aurene for a moment. The Prismatic Commander of Confusing Emotions and Sad Memories.

No, Gavin. I will never join the Nightmare Court.

That's a pity. It grieves me greatly to turn predator into prey, Valiant---

"But you forgot me."

She startles as the corpse slumped against her speaks again, but this time it isn't Gavin's voice.

It's her brother's.

Lucilaeh looks down and finds Benedicuore gazing back up at her, exactly as he looked when she hunted him down in the heart of the Maguuma, features twisted by the dragon's corruption. He sneers as she leaps back, and he rises and rises to full height over her, towering over her in his corrupted body.

"How dare you," she hisses.

"Oh sister," he says, leaning down to look her in the eyes. "I should be the one to ask you that. You left me behind with my copies. Or maybe you did kill me. Do you even know if the one waiting for you on the surface was the real me?"

"He is," she tells him, and suddenly all the bravado she had worked up dissipates. She forged forth without it anyway. "He came back to me. Ben fought off the corruption when he heard my voice---"

"No, you'll never know." He starts to move, and she forces her feet to let her turn, if only to keep her eyes on him as he starts to circle her. "You turned your brother into yet another regret when you chose to save him. In the end, you forgot the real me because it was simply more convenient to let this copy take my place."

It's only when she tries to raise her dagger once more that she realizes she let go of it at some point, her hands shaking as she tries to do---anything at all. It was true. It was true. She hadn't tried with the other copies when they attacked her. She'd killed them because it was easier. Because fighting and killing was always easier. Because despite everything she claimed, she really did know so little of anything else.

"I'm sorry." Those wretched words wrench past her lips before she can stop herself, followed closely by a sob, then another and another until she is simply weeping as she stands there amidst the shadows and the jade. "I'm sorry. I never forgot. But he was the only one who listened...what more could I have done..."

She senses, rather than sees, the darkness enveloping her. It doesn't feel anything like her own shadow magic. It grasps her, swallowing her---

"No! Sister!"

She hears the shout through the haze but does not understand what it means until light floods her vision, chasing away the shadows and when she blinks, Ben is before her, holding up a hard light dome between the two of them and the demon.

"They're over here!" he yells and Lucilaeh coughs and sits up. She gasps for air, realizing all too suddenly she's been on the ground. Ben glances at her over his shoulder. "Stay, stay with me, sister."

"Ben, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she chokes out through damned tears she can't stop. "I left you, I left you behind so many times---I---are you...are you real?"

"A-as real as I've ever been," he answers sharply. Shadows slam against his shield, pushing down toward them both. He was never much of a fighter himself. "This, erm, doesn't seem like the best time for this, but you really, you really ought to know I've never once begrudged you for choosing your duty over me---"

Words she's never dared to dream of hearing, never quite knew she wanted to hear. She clings to them as she crawls to her dagger, laying just a step away from Ben. Lucilaeh musters up her strength despite its constant fleeing from her, and digs deeper into herself as she takes back her dagger and grasps it tight with both hands. It was fool of her not to bring her scepter, so this would have to do.

"W-where are they---I can't...much longer---" Ben hisses as the darkness presses him down to his knees, the shield just barely covering them both now.

The air around them has thickened to the point she can barely breathe, but she breathes, challenging the shadows that dare bear down upon them. The dagger's hilt digs into her palm as she takes a precious moment to concentrate and listen.

The demon isn't allowed to be stealthier than her. She won't allow it. She points the dagger in the direction of the demon, draws in a breath, and starts to siphon the shadows. She hears a growl, but little other noise, just her's and Ben's ragged breathing and the hum of his forge and the dome. But she's hurting the creature, she's sure of that. The shadows envelop her again, this time mingling with her magic and it's more than she's ever tried to draw in before and there's what she guesses must be the foreign magic Gorrik had mentioned, something woven into these shadows that stings and scorches her enough to draw out a cry of pain from her.

"Stay with me...!"

She doesn't hear Ben this time. She's too busy holding onto the shadows she's gathered from the creature and fighting through the pain. She grits her teeth and grips her dagger tighter, tighter, until she feels that pain in her hand instead over the magic, and then---

"Thanks for sharing," she whispers, as she lets the shadow magic wash over her and Ben both. Swiftly, she finds strength coming back to her limbs, hears Ben's breathing even out as well. Slower, she rises to her feet, properly shrouded in darkness, careful to shield Ben without giving him any of the foreign magic.

"It's weakened!" Someone shouts from beyond, followed by a cacophony of gunfire.

All at once, the darkness recedes.

It's not much brighter, with the natural tenebrosity of the cave, but finally her vision clears completely. Somehow, she's managed to wander all the way down to the shore of a jade pool. How had she not noticed the sickly green glow earlier?

Movement catches her eye. The creature is fleeing from them through the cavern ahead, back down to the leyline once more. Ben tugs on her arm.

"We should go," he says.

She nods, holstering her dagger and reaching for his hand. Lucilaeh's entire body aches, but the scar in her side protests the loudest with every movement as they start the trek back up.

"How did you find me?"

"I heard you leaving," answers Ben quietly. "I-I woke up Gorrik, then followed you. It seemed as if you couldn't hear me at all, then you just...disappeared."

"Ah."

They might have talked about something else, perhaps about the words of doubt she had expressed to him, if they did not quickly run into Gorrik with Rama and Yao and Finn in tow: their saviors from above, at the moment she weakened the creature.

Lucilaeh says little as they make the rest of the way up, only half listening to their concerns, both the ones stated out loud and the ones cloaked in ridicule and sarcasm. She knows it should be shame on her sleeve, for sneaking away like this, for endangering them all again, but now that they're leaving the depths once more, she feels only an icy detachment settling over her.

She ignores the whisper as she steps out onto the warming soil of the surface, where pale morning light reaches down past the outpost and the cave entrance toward her, caressing her. She ignores the whisper as she fends off the others' fussing and the commotion across the camp over her and makes a beeline for her tent. She ignores the whisper as she takes off her mask and drops into her bedroll, but she hears it once more just as she plunges into a welcoming blackness: the twisted voice of her brother, as inviting as it's repulsive, as kind as it's cruel, as warped by Mordremoth's touch as it's that of the liberated one carefully laying down next to her, and it's calling to her from somewhere deep within the haze, somewhere she hasn't gone, somewhere she wants to go, and it whispers like a long lost part of herself: I'll be here where you left me when you need to poison yourself once more.

#gw2 fanfic #end of dragons #what lies beneath #lucilaeh #benedicuore #my writing #hello pls enjoy my self-indulgent fic #my struggles with new post editor aaaa

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rahleeyah · 1 year

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d. c. anon saying hello!

I’m very curious to see if the finales this season (or maybe early next season?) bring together all these little nuggets of wisdom we have been getting all season from benson or if it all was just how it was written, with no connection/complete coincidence, and we were all reading too much into what she has been saying?

Or if we will know what m meant by saying “it’s not like it seems” or something like that. I know I’m getting the quote wrong.

With that being said, im loving this arc. Oscar papa bring brought in was purely for the fans 😂😂 however Amanda? Was she always this amazing profiler? Genuinely asking bc why else would she have been brought in? Like to serve the purpose of highlighting that Amanda clocked Elliot for leaving Liv? Again for the fans?

welcome back anon!

if we were still under wet lettuce's reign of terror, I would not be able to say with any confidence that I think there would be payoff for all the threads that have been woven so far this season, and Olivia's nuggets of wisdom in particular (physician heal thyself indeed). however. the premises are under new management and that new management has so far done a much better job of telling a cohesive story across episodes, and so I am cautiously optimistic that Olivia's lightbulb moment is incoming. it feels, very much, like somebody over there knows what they're doing, and the fact that the last couple episodes of both shows were left in the same hands gives an even greater potential for a satisfying payoff, tho I continue to remind myself of how s14 ended - we may very well be left on a cliffhanger. which like, that's a solid way to insure a big audience for the premieres, whenever they may be. so we shall see.

oh, Amanda. so Amanda's thing has always been psychology - she has, in a few episodes scattered across her decade on the show, expressed a particular interest in getting inside the minds of the most deranged killers. it is her thing, tho it's always bothered me; I am thinking of the machine elves episodes now, and Amanda's interest in and defense of alternate theories of consciousness, an interest which has always seemed at odds with her intensely narrow view of the world (for example, "abuse victims deserve the abuse bc they allow it to happen" is a theory she has espoused more than once, which, lol).

so the thing is, right, is that it isn't out of left field or anything, her wanting to do these things, it sits right inside of the characteristics they have given her. the thing is, I've never seen any reason to believe she speaks with any authority on the subject. she took point on a few interrogations - the Henry Mesner fiasco comes to mind - and has attended lectures - as they all have - but like. My girlfriend has spent a lot of time learning about serial killers. no one is calling her to be a profiler. I feel like Amanda was brought back not for her skills but for the Drama(tm). Some fans like her very much, bringing back a familiar face for a finale is a good way to boost ratings, allowing us to see Olivia interact with Amanda after we have watched Liv grieving her absence is compelling from a character perspective. and that's the thing, right, is that this is entertainment, so it doesn't matter if Amanda has any skill as a profiler - just like it didn't matter that Nick's pivot into science seems super weird. it's a "willing suspension of disbelief" moment, I think, and I may fuss about it on occasion but I'm not like. mad about it lol

I did want to see Elliot and Amanda acknowledge that they have something in common in leaving Liv, so I'm glad we got that, though "I left bc I'd killed a teenager about the same age as one of my own daughters and the brass were going to make me do a number of things I personally find intolerable and even then I might not get my job back and I can't risk my pension and I have a toddler to raise and I can't talk to Liv about it bc I'm in love with her and if I see her face I'm gonna throw everything away for her" and "I took a new job and then never called her again and made my husband, who is her friend and sees her very often for work, promise not to tell her I'm pregnant for reasons as yet unspecified" are not exactly the same thing.

#anonymous #dc anon #e.o asks #s.vu

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maneaterwithtail · 1 year

Text

Why Belos role and characterization and treatment in narrative or character parallel bothers me

I cannot help but feel it confuses a therapeutic uhm... end goal

"Your abuser despite his (and it is ALWAYS a he) affect, power, influence, or even your feelings to him, is wrong about you and told you lies that control and undermine you. Leave them behind. Don't engage. Separate yourself and reasoning from them. You will be free and see them as powerless a shadow and not even need the same thing from anyone else. Because you have a more substantive and whole thing from yourself"

with

"Abuser is inhuman blind liar and nothing like you so have no fear. Its all a conspiracy and you'll never be like him no matter what you do!"

This is a common thing. Over and over and over. What grants the greatest... win or catharsis or validation for the audience's hero/standin. Moreso if queer representative.

Now, I do like the talk Luz has about this. And its meaningful, without prompting, she comes to this bad emotional place by her own reasoning and feelings. SHOWING how much she's grown and avoided being a Belos.

Its the "you were never alike along" that really bugs me. Not you changed and avoided that path thanks to acceptance of and by others so have become better. But He was conspiring and lying because that all he is which you never were doing (which is remarkably...untrue in my mind. Or says forgiveness is only for the innoecent uwu baby which no matter what the polycule aspirants are)

Moreover whenever its time to imply or make decisions its to absolve the likable or standins (or useful) or scapegoat Belos like some "The Devil Made Me Do It" figure which creeps me out. I thought the entire point was to AVOID that

Its not that

there are guys so hateful so ambitious so DANGEROUS you had to use violence and people who willfully double down do these things. It sucks but.. this how it goes. here what like and how we get from there to here and how deal with even the psychological aftereffects

Its that

said stubborn blindness in everyone is all sourced by this one conveniently hatable guy.. who also is just smart enough to cause and control all but you're just so smart and special and vigorous enough can't compel you, never did. Or he is stupid enough basic teenage stubbornness foils him time and again with little cost or effort but to the fee fees.. maybe true defeat when don't feel bad anymore

Again it, to me, has always felt like at ODDS with where Owl House started. A mature take on dealing with differences and expression and learning to get along and yes tolerate not just differences but 'enemies'

Not least because they don't ever have to

Hey? Girl who has career investment and resents you and etc etc etc secretly just repressed lesbian for you.

Hey? Guy who is true believer in cause and dismissive of everyone interrupting to it? Just woobie tormented by evil abuser. Not his fault and never going to hurt you because he's so nice and tortured. But also his beliefs have no validity or positivity and were never necessary.

Hey? Guy who avoids emotional conflicts and the difficult human investments, neglecting his relationships to focus on his hobbies and then turns people into components...for his self image is TOTALLY different than a stage mom because.. uhm... well she's socially ambitious and DIRECT as toneglectful exploitive in their abusive action.

Hey? Your teasing super popular bully is secretly just like you once they accept that they will have to get along (serve to) your goals while adding to your found family (staff and servants to ease your struggles with difference, labor, money, resources, or knowledge. Conveniently.. well save for occasional emotional maintenance whew no things and effort and time and work you value thought)

ETA Hey the family who blames you for your failure, resents your marginalization, and arrogantly wishes to fix you? Always outshine by you in clash knows less than you. And after come Crawling back to you benevolent forgiveness confess they cursed you! Once convert and undermine their worldview or prioritize you as to have serious issues with your criminal, self harm, and possible addiction behavior, then perhaps you can forgive them if will continue the obsequious or usefulness. (damn maheshwarens look at the clawthornes going there for the grace of God would go i)

Hey? Those horrible parallels you notice between yourself and people you hate is just an illusion put on by an evil white guy who embodies what you hate about society and authority or that asshole from that institution you have to put up with for your education. You're not at fault because you made a mistake and you feel bad about it and with perfect knowledge and power you'd never be like them so striving for same you won't do the same things.

And AGAIN i get where this comes from and why and even in some cases its necessary but tell me there isn't something just a little TOO damn close to

The Narcissist's Prayer (by Dayna Craig)

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

At the least we're at lines 6-4 for the lesson/character assessment/embodiment so with the NARRATIVE supplying lines 1-3. Information always happens to clarify a situation so the initial hook gets put down.

Moreso with the idea of the supervillain narcissist who all your own problems and bad actions can be attributed or sourced. (I avoid the Invisible man movie for a line implying this. sure sure I'm certain 'in context' its justified. that's the thing lines 1-3 is ALWAYS made 'in context with what feels a powerful idealized stand in' where things bend just enough for the character. Not really the dread female or minority character accusation word but close enough or evokes my same issues (have same or similar problems with Shinji, the world is or reflects or exists to further his depression so feels.. unreal)

Made worse because of the ... meeting in the middle of the lines or the completion the problem isn't "narcissism" -which can be inborn in exceptions who are people or exceptional people- but also develop in you and me. No the problem is the "narcississt" this shibboleth (forgive my cultural appropriation and feel free to correct with better less sacred or more accurate term) Archetype Modern Folklore Myth ("but its real I used The Sciencetm not Re-lulz-gen") I Learned From Validating Empowering Source. The Narcissist is always a collection of traits in a person who is other and despicable who has made the real mistake of being both ambitious, respected, and un-ignorable/supportive down to the core. enviable AND stronger.

Oh and Belos is always lying, to himself and others .. but doesn't believe or operate in a way to best support the lie. Say, recruiting a mob or authority or gang to go into the demon realm to enact a plan?

Why did he try that stupid lie? He's a MUCH better liar than that!

Heck he hasn't really had a hatred of Luz so much as witches and the demon realm mixed with an immature hero narrative that foregoes compassion or self reflection.

But even if it was ALL a lie. If he was at the desperate point he was willing to humble himself to the witches and Luz just to save his skin why be THAT preposterous?

Because the only threat he's EVER allowed to make is emotional to trigger Luz/audience trauma in a way that them having been marginalized in a way very VERY likely shared but specific enough to neuroatypical queer younger people or folks who have been near such can very much relate to.

Its like the bad guys in Dragon Prince becoming demonic untalking firezombies in contradiction to preaching following a religious appearing figure.

Too damn indulgent.

Have Raine, King Clawthorne, and Eda beat down Phillip or older Belos. not the Wicked Fals Wizard of the South East from The Bad Times of SUPER PATRIARCHY (and why its bad this season's finest ideological threads)

Have Luz hug her mom after resolute seeing his death, no "save"of her innoencence or responsibility. However vulgar, necessary, or more she killed a dude.

Just... stop it with The Devil Belos who is the Real True Evil because *insert things hate here* who if killed all his influence dissipates as to perpetuates because he's The Source Of All The Flaws, Even Yours Or They Were Mistakes After All He Doesn't Fit In The Found Family/Polycule Dynamics.

I guess end of the day I just disagree with

Dad Titan.

I mean in one way. The assume part. Hate can come from a genuine place. OR false place. Or an insecure place. Or a narcissistic place. I suppose not disagree with his point or even actions.

Its GOOD he makes the distinction he does between Luz and Belos. But Luz wanted guidance and she got validation, particularly the kind that without context doesn't guide to good.

Its why feel so adolescent. Which is FINE as that the primary target of the show. But blows the conflict out of proportion with that target's ACTUAL challenges and needs and keeps the adult responsibility and restraint down to convenience if this is about her coming into her own as an adult woman or taking that adult step.

Compare Camilla's journey to Luz and its... off

Moreso for me the sense sending Luz to camp was 'forced on her' and was 'a bad thing' Lucedas should feel guilty for as to a critical step to better Luz and did end up for the best even in the equivalent of Luz's doppleganger/sister where it happened when she stood in as Camilla planned!

"You can do all the same things without self reflection or ethical consideration if you find the right ideology/cause or are actually a True Victim" feels easier to get than

"This is how you balance your dreams and goals and ambitions with the fact other people are just as rich with their own inner life as you. EVEN IF YOU, as entitled and rightly, HATE THEIR GUTS"

That's taught to the Collector, but surprisingly only when absolved or 'retooled much like EVERY OTHER antagonist before to be a new party member in disguise.. also weaker now with easier exploitable weakness so not have to tolerate the threat of his power and another convenient evil abusive older shadow adult is behind it ALL! I mean don't have to deal with the possible mind warping idea of a clinical socipath or someone inherently more powerful than you you have to WORK to habituate, rehab. Or he is too attached to his trauma and wrath and vengeance, or yoy have to develop and prepare means to substantially restrain/neuter/nerf/drug/etc

much same as not have to tolerate the threeat of Belos's influence or connection and effects. Or that he's one guy when need to dismiss him but Extant all powerful shadow when need to justify your actions that support your hero narrative.

#spoilers #cartoons are series business #series finale #series analysis #The Owl House #3rd season 3 extended episode #character analysis #philip wittebane #Emperor Belos #luz nuceda #toh spoilers

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opinated-user · 1 year

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A big part of why Aliana is so bad as a character is that Lily sucks as a writer. Aliana is hypocritical, of that "it's bad when other people kill but great when I do it" kind, but I've seen good writers pull off a hypocritical character. Let me explain:

In Donna Tartt's novel The Secret History, Richard Papen is extremely classist and has a very narrow idea of what he considers an admirable person. He hates people who use drugs. He is from a dirt-poor background, is not admirable by his own standards and does drugs. But because Donna Tartt really puts work into showing you how Richard has internalized classism and low self-worth as a result of an abusive childhood, because she shows us Richard's decisions ruining his life, because he is consistently terrified his new friends will leave him if they find out he's poor, you don't hate him. His hypocrisy is all based in self-loathing. He wants so badly to be his idea of an ideal person (rich, well-read, owns expensive things, can afford clothes and college) that he hates himself and is cold to others because they're from money and don't appreciate what they've been given and if he'd had even a fraction of the chances they did he would be thrilled.

The problem here is that Lily doesn't let Aliana fail. Richard's mistakes cost him his happiness long-term, destroys his friend group and leaves him with the private university education he always wanted and the money he always desired and not one person he can be open and vulnerable with. He climbs to the top only for it to mean nothing to him due to his self-hatred, internalized biphobia, internalized classism, fear of not being good enough and pathological lies. You feel really fucking sorry for this guy by the time the book ends. He 'won', but he didn't truly win. Thus you can swallow his hypocrisy as part of the theme of the story.

Aliana never messes up, never loses anything, never displays any of the depth necessary to make her engaging. I agree that the term Mary Sue was used for everything and anything and thus has little meaning anymore. But a word that does have meaning is boring. There is no tension at any point because Aliana always wins. There is no reason to ever feel any worry for her because her hypocritical takes and murderous personality will never result in anything bad. Richard Papen's entire life is sabotaged by hypocrisy born of insecurity born of abuse. Aliana kills everyone real good and the day is saved.

If I can sum up a whole story with "she kills everyone, she is rewarded with a girl to fuck who'll raise her kid, the end", you've done it wrong.

In order to sum up The Secret History I have to explain how every character's psychological background interacts with the core conflict in ways that backfire on everyone. In order to explain TSR I can just say, "Character who always wins always wins."

indeed. once again, i can see how projecting on a character like that can be fun and feel good but that is not what makes a compelling character work. alaina is not a character at all. she's the means to an end.

#lily orchard

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ceph-the-ghost-writer · 1 year

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Writer Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @lividdreamz!

No pressure tag @cljordan-imperium @mercurialsmile @late-to-the-fandom @space-cadead @mjjune @vacantgodling @korblez/@outpost51 @juls-writes @thatndginger and just @ me for anyone who wants to seize an open tag!

Do you write in order?

Mostly, though lately I've gotten into the habit of scribbling down scenes which may (or may not) appear until much later than where I currently am in the plot. Or just snippets formed from a detail a character mentions in passing. I figure why not just release these ideas into the wild instead of letting them flutter around and bang against the inside of my skull for who knows how long? I can always rework them later.

Do you start with something particular?

Usually a scene or situation for a new idea or character. With more established characters, though, I just start putting them in Situations and see what happens, like I'm playing with dolls.

How fully formed does your writing come out the first try?

It's fully formed in the sense that I rarely use placeholders or skip whole scenes (though I should probably start to if I want to be more productive). But it's not really "done" since I still have to assess whether the tone, events, character arcs, etc. match up to whatever idea I was going for. (And if I even still want to go with that idea--which is where the concept of AUs come in handy, saving me from myself.)

How many drafts do you go through?

As many as it takes, friends. It comes down to defining themes/ideas at the core of a story for me, I guess. Once I feel I have a solid foundation with those, I can remodel whatever I built on top as needed and claim the minor imperfections just add character.

Tell me about your process?

I'm an incorrigible pantser, I'm afraid. 😔 But there is some method to be found in the madness. Maybe. Just a little.

So, it goes something like this. I usually start with a scene that pops into my head, either purely imagined or inspired by a prompt/comment. Say, Human is taken captive by handsome yet murderous Vampire, for example. I immediately start asking questions.

What does each want? (Human: to survive; Vampire: that sweet, sweet vein juice)

How did the characters get into this situation? (Human: wrong place, wrong time; Vampire: hungry, has chosen to kill humans)

Okay, what was Human doing at the wrong place, and does that mean Vampire doesn't need to kill humans? (1. He's part of a supernatural research organization, that sounds like it'd be cool, right?; 2. Yes. Maybe Vampire is part of a rival, evil organization?)

Crap, now I have to come up with secret organizations. (The Coven and Unseen Hand are born.)

Why doesn't Vampire just kill Human? It's the smartest thing and he has the upper hand. (Because he thinks Human is amusing/sexy?)

I'm ace. There needs to be a more compelling reason than just sex appeal if I'm going to keep writing this. (Fine, fine. Maybe Vampire senses something's off? Has an attack of conscience?)

Now I have to explore this character's entire backstory and psychological profile, don't I? Damn it! (Cut to 40k+ words later, with plans to explore a magical revolution that takes place on a near-future Earth, spanning multiple books, protagonists, and themes. Ace rights. 🖤🤍💜)

It's way messier and more drawn out than that, but you get the gist. I just start asking questions until I have enough raw material to build a story. Following drafts are to make sure the structure's sound, get rid of loose ends, pretty everything up, etc.

#writing tag games #writing process #dysthanasia

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throwawaytumble · 10 months

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Hey, glad you're getting the validation you deserve! You're absolutely not in the wrong here at all.

To preface this, I want to stress that I am just an outsider with zero context outside of what you've told us and also that I think your way of interacting with children is the right way, but I wanted to shed some potential (futher) insight on why your brother might be reacting so negatively:

From everything you've explained, from your relationship with your parents to your brother's demands that you always go through him first, it seems to me as though he has maintained some sort of authoritarian view of parenthood. It's clear to me that your parents had a very top-down hierarchical parenting philosophy, and since your brother stayed with them and the farm, he probably developed similar views.

This form of parenting hinges on the parent as an authoritative figure which cannot be undermined.

In his mind, he lost his adult children because he lost that authority to his ex-wife, whom he believed used that to turn them against him. This means that if he loses custody of his kids again, his authority will again be undermined and the same thing will happen.

In his mind, by discussing the matter with his kids before speaking to him, you undermined his authority as a parent. He needs to maintain the illusion of an infallible authority (or fallible in certain small, acceptable ways) in order to maintain his parenting style. By telling his children that he either lied or was mistaken about something so big for so long, and in doing so undermining your authority as a babysitter as well as your credibility... That's a big blow. Of course he's terrified. He feels that he needs that authority in order to keep his children in his life.

Psychologically, it makes sense. Some of his extremely impactful life experiences had to do with family being cut off: you got cut off from your parents because they couldn't maintain their authority over you, and he got cut off from his kids because he couldn't maintain his authority over them. It sounds like you accidentally hit on some sensitive, unresolved trauma, and that's what caused his overreaction. To him, loss of authority directly connects with loss of family. I wouldn't be surprised if his ex-wives' cheating further compounded this complex.

So, in his eyes, he moved house specifically to be closer to you to try to reconcile with you (formerly lost family), he made some assumptions about your character and personal history that ended up wrong, and in response you did something that makes him risk losing more family (undermining his authority). As in, the family he took great pains to reconnect with suddenly turned around to jeopardize the rest of the only family he was left. He does, however, desperately want you in his life still, so after a little bit for the initial panic to wear off, he forgives you and just wants to make sure it won't happen again.

...Again, this is a huge set of assumptions I'm making, and I think it's an incredibly unhealthy mindset and type of relationship with parenthood to have, but this is what I got out of it. You both definitely have drastically incompatible mindsets on some things, and that can be hard to bridge even without the painful history you two share (and were unable to share).

But I hope my analysis is accurate enough that it might help you in figuring out your next step with the situation.

I am also under this impression and yes, both my brother and our parents took an authoritative stance on parenting. My question - and it seems that the majority of people have answered - was whether I was the asshole for undermining a parent's authority while not a parent myself, especially regarding our history.

Something I am compelled to explain here is that both as a Professor and doctor, my initial response is to immediately take control. In a medical setting, delegating tasks quickly and taking control of a situation asap is absolutely necessary, and as a Professor maintaining control of a classroom of hungover college students is also essential. I've spent a majority of my life around children, and I have worried (on my own, not based on anything anyone has said to me regarding his children) that I may overstep. I spoke to another professor about the situation and he took my brother's side, saying that before correcting him I ought to have called him first to ask how I should best approach it, and told me that unless I had children I wouldn't understand. My boyfriend disagreed and even convinced me to send the ask in the first place.

#answered asks #aita #am i the asshole #transfaabulous #for clarification

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thenexusofsouls · 1 year

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What would the circumstances have to be for Freya to fall in love again? What type of person would she be interested in?

{i am the caretaker of souls} Alright, I promise I will not turn this into a rant about Freya's psychology too much because we'll be here all night if I do that, heh. I'll just try to get to the heart of your questions, because honestly I could rant for days about everything involving Freya and love, haha. Under the cut because LONG.

What would the circumstances have to be for Freya to fall in love again?

Well... I'm not sure how this would happen since she was fatally wounded, but she would be most receptive to love after the events of Winter’s War. This is for two reasons. First, she learned that Ravenna, and not her lover, killed her daughter. Now granted, her lover technically did kill her daughter but it was made clear that Ravenna used some kind of magic on him to compel him to do so and that he otherwise wouldn't have done it. So that would shake her entire trauma-coping axiom of "love always ends in betrayal" enough for her to question if it really might be possible to have a successful loving relationship.

Second, Eric and Sara pretty much proved to her that yeah, sometimes love does manage to get through everything unscathed. They both survived the first time she tried to keep them apart, ended up back together despite everything, and were still together at the end of the movie. I think Freya was a bit biased against Eric specifically, since she tried to kill him initially but only chose to imprison and punish Sara. Maybe she sees women as victims and men as abusers or aggressors because of what she had thought her lover had done to their child. And then when she meets them outside of Sanctuary to acquire the mirror, she makes a comment to Eric something to the effect of, "You knew, didn't you? You knew she would betray you and you spared her still." And correct me if I'm wrong, but I see a bit of confusion and/or surprise on her face and hear it in her voice as well. She genuinely doesn't understand why someone would allow a betrayal like that. At the end, just before Freya dies, she says to them as they hold each other, "How lucky you are." It mirrors the beginning of the movie when she said it to all the children in Eric and Sara's original group when she first stole them from their village. Except back then, she meant that they were lucky to have been saved from all of love's evils, whereas at the end of the movie, she means that they are lucky to apparently have a love that is unbreakable. The fact that Freya thinks they're lucky for that reason is her indirectly admitting that she wishes she had a love like that too.

So after she learns her lover didn't actually betray her, and after she sees through Eric and Sara that true, loyal, unselfish love is actually possible, I think a lot of Freya's trauma coping mechanisms would be placed in question. Namely, leaning hard into the fact that love essentially must have been an evil force to hurt her so much and that others should be saved from its destructive powers. The events of the movie throw a wrench into that which would crack the façade she'd built around herself for years and given that she obviously wants to love and be loved, and still has the capacity to love (no one will ever tell me she didn't love her "children"), I think it would be most possible for her at that time. If she'd managed to survive her wounds, of course.

I think before that time, she would have been a much harder nut to crack, but no impossible. I think more of the circumstances of how Freya might love again have to do with the types of men who might pursue her...

What type of person would she be interested in?

Someone very confident as a person and in their own skin, most definitely, but as far as personality... I think there are two types of people who could win her over with the right amount of persistence.

I actually have written Freya in a ship with one of my friends OCs, Talyc ( @bloodwontwashout ), who pretty much wins her over in ever thread with what I think boils down to two things: persistence and not letting her get away with her own bullshit. Talyc is an alpha male type personality, he's very confident, he doesn't back down from something - or someone - that he wants, and he isn't afraid to call people out on their bullshit. Freya is used to being in charge and having no one challenge her, so when Talyc does, they clash in a way that usually ends up in a ship, heh. I've written threads with Freya and Talyc during the events of the Winter's War, before it, and in a crossover verse where we kindof threw Freya's world and Talyc's world together and they were vying for territory, and every time, he ends up winning her over eventually. Sometimes it's by calling her out on how much her "do not love" law makes no sense, or how easily he can see that she either doesn't believe it or doesn't want to believe it.

Sometimes I've written Eric and Sara as well to have their whole deal in the background while Talyc is watching Freya dealing with them and being like... okay but why? Heh. He challenges her supposed beliefs that she hides behind to cope with her trauma and gets her to admit to him and to herself that she doesn't really want to believe that love is a lie. Freya's fragile mental state depends on no one questioning her, and when Talyc does, she eventually crumbles and he's there to pick up the pieces. In every type of thread, Talyc doesn't give up. He's persistent. That's essential for anyone who wants to win Freya over because she's her own best obstacle, and she will avoid the issue, deflect to something else, or shut down her potential ship until he goes away. Well, Talyc doesn't go away, he tries harder, heh, and the result is that Freya is pushed past the point of what her glass house (or ice house, haha) of carefully constructed lies she tells herself can withstand, and when that breakthrough happens and she's forced to process and deal with her trauma in a better way, Talyc is there to help her through it.

Something else Talyc uses in his arguments as to why Freya should be with him is having more children. His background and situation usually revolves around the importance of legacy and having children is a big part of Talyc's personal legacy. In many verses he had a wife and son who were killed, so especially in verses where he's lost his family, Freya can relate to that pain, and I think that gives Talyc a special kind of automatic in with her on some level. Him suggesting that they would both want to have more children after losing their own... That goes a long way with her. Because she does want to have more children. She misses her daughter. You can’t tell me she doesn’t with the way she sits by that empty cradle and just... broods. She's hard-pressed to admit that to anyone, or even to herself, but she does.

So yeah, I think someone who could meet her on her own level, possibly also royalty, but also meet her on her own trauma and confidence levels... that's who's going to win her own. Freya is a very strong personality, so you have to be able to be strong along with her and be willing to be patience and persistent enough to not put off by her first ten rejections, heh. Because she will look right in the eye of someone she has feelings for and is attracted to and tell him to leave and never come back if you let her. So it takes some who can get through the walls she builds around herself.

I will say... that Talyc is a very intense personality. There are a lot of hardcore aspects to his way of thinking and his background. I think the opposite type of personality might also have a chance with Freya. Someone like Eric, for example. I am NOT suggesting Eric himself, that would not work, heh, but I more mean someone with Eric's personality, specifically either before he and Sara are separated or after he finds out she's still alive. In between that time, with the first movie, he got very dark and combative, but let's just look at his happier times. He was very easy going, comfortable with who he was, and he really didn't care what anyone thought of him or if they agreed with him, how stupid or silly he looked, etc. When Mrs. Bronwyn tries to get through to Eric that Sara has betrayed them, he replies very casually with a cheerful smile, "I don't need you to believe what I believe," because he has decided that Sara is still on their side and no one's going to tell him otherwise. He’s stubborn, but in a very endearing sort of way. Someone like that... I think might eventually get through to Freya. He's fine with being the only one in the room who believes something, and once he believes in something or someone, there's no shaking it.

I'm not sure why someone as goodhearted as an Eric type personality would want to be with an "evil" queen, but assuming they did, I think her coldness (no pun intended lol) and attempt at being emotionless up against someone who wears their heart on their sleeve and who is very openly and warmly emotional might lead to something eventually. Whereas someone like Talyc will chip away at Freya's ice until he's made a hole big enough to get through, someone with Eric's personality would melt it slowly over time to where she becomes emotionally attached gradually because he just doesn't go away, haha. Eric was very persistent with Sara and wasn't going to give up on their marriage, and again, I think Freya needs that same kind of stubbornness in a potential ship because she's not going to let her guard down easily.

So I think it's going to take someone very confident and persistent, for sure, but then beyond that it'd take someone who's going to actively and directly push through her mental defenses and coping mechanisms, OR, it'd take someone who is just so genuinely warm and kindhearted to remind her of who she used to be and what she wanted years ago and be able to get her back at least partway to being that woman again.

AND THAT WAS LONG, I'M SO SORRY, heh. I have a lot to say about Freya, so be warned... any future questions might lead to similar rants, haha.

#muse: freya #{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ

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mollrat101 · 2 years

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I came across an article in Psychology Today about the Killing Eve series finale and how queer fans were dealing with it (not well, as many know). I surprisingly found that a couple of things they wrote felt similar to how Hacks 2.04 episode made me feel.

Killing Eve is, of course, a much more extreme case but nevertheless explains how 2.04 made me feel kind of betrayed, honestly. I thought these writers were committed to telling queer stories with great care and then they made something that perpetuated lesbophobia and made a character I love, Deborah Vance, behave so awfully with no consequence or follow-up or, at the very least, a really compelling reason for it.

“...when one builds a years-long, trusting relationship with an ally who really “gets it,” then that person does something racist (or homophobic or name your -ism). Both situations require a person to question everything about the relationship. Should I not have trusted the writers in the first place? How could I have missed the likely reality that they never understood queer lives and stories to begin with? Was I the stupid one for trusting them? I walked away from the finale feeling more guarded, mistrusting, and with more “armor” than usual.”

I find myself at a crossroads with my essay series in that I’m not sure how much of it I can write anymore trying to incorporate season 2 into it. Part of that is narrative and characterization issues, but the other part is the lesbophobia and misogyny that goes unchallenged.

Should I trust writers who don’t understand why that episode was a problem? And looking back, I’m wondering, like the article said, if I was stupid for trusting them at all. I always knew I was wildly optimistic in terms of where the show might go, but I didn’t think about this. It’s one thing for me to gripe about story issues, it’s another thing for them to actively offend me and women like me and then fail to see why what they did was wrong.

Just like the writer, I’m walking away from season 2 “more guarded, mistrusting and with more armor” than before. And I’m not sure if it’s best for me to continue my essays in that mindset. I’ll likely continue to do analyses because I like it, but the series as it stands is probably about finished. I think the fandom and this story deserves more fanfiction than it does meta at this point, so that’s what I’d like to focus on for the future.

#hacks hbo #hbo hacks #hacks #hacks thoughts

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worrywrite · 9 months

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I was carded for the first time today. I am, very visibly not younger than 21 (even with a mask on). My wedding ring is also very visible. On top of this, it might have have been evident that I have a toddler as well based on my purchase.

But I went to the self checkout at Walmart and I learned some things today.

The first being that the Walmart self checkout (and likely all other cameras in the store) do some degree of facial recognition. Because the system is what triggered the card check. Not because of the items scanned, but because I was wearing a mask.

You see, my spouse and child have colds. And I was buying generic Mucinex and toddler safe cold medicine (hence why it might be evident that i have a toddler). Neither contain alcohol or common drug components. The Mucinex does contain, however, dextromethorphan. Which I didn't even know was controlled and from what I've read only gets abused in larger doses (nearly the whole package I was buying, and I was buying 1 package). But that's getting to my secondary concern here.

See I was wearing a mask because I'm unsure if I'm contagious. But the checkout was trying to scan my face to see if I was old enough to buy a "controlled" item. Which I do not like. I did not consent to be scanned by a computer. Even if it doesn't store data, I can't confirm that it didn't store my data. I don't like cameras in general, not because I'm doing anything wrong (I'm actually terribly anxious and worry about appearing like I'm doing something wrong all the time), but I don't like seeing myself and I don't like other people seeing me either (and that's a whole other psychological diagnosis for another day). And I really don't like my likeness being stored in a Walmart database. Regardless, not stepping foot in a Walmart again without a mask on my face. Doesn't matter if I'm sick or not. I may also feel compelled to flip off every camera I see (which wouldn't make me anxious--why am I explaining this?).

But this whole ordeal made me realize. Why does checking my age matter? Sure, for lots of things I get why you wouldn't want kids to get habit forming stuff like booze and smokes and vapes that could also hinder their development. But those things are still nearly just as hazardous to adults. And the risk of death or permanent damage isn't really consistent (not just with things you can buy at the supermarket, but controlled substances in general). It feels like having my card checked at this point is just the store saying "oh, you're old enough that the government says you can buy this? Cool, here's you're poison. Have fun consuming your poison. It probably won't kill you right away, so please remember to come back here to buy more poison--but only so long as your age stays above 21, the legally required poison-buying age."

But, you see. If those things are "okay" for "adults" to buy but not for underage folks to buy, why are those things even in the "everyone can walk in here and takes things off the shelf" store? Because there are stores and venues that only allow people with a verified age in (more or less; there's no bouncer at your average liquor store, but they're generally going to kick obviously underage folk out on sight).

And there's a much more complex discussion about this that im noy going to gets into. Be a use not everything restricted is universally bad. In fact, very few things are actually universally bad for human consumption. Some of these things are age restricted but still readily accessible due to the absolutely broken nature of health care in the US, while but others... Yeah. Complicated problem. But I really don't think that being able to say "yeah, you're old enough that it doesn't matter that these things are dangerous" is the solution.

#walmart #venting #raise your hand if you are above the legal poison buying age.#facial recognition

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understanding-parrots · 10 months

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What is this blog?

What’s going to be posted here? Why did I feel compelled to make this blog? Who the hell am I and what qualifies me to have or share my thoughts on this topic? This is going to be a labour of love regarding something I spend vast amounts of time reflecting on. I’m hoping to organise my thoughts and discuss them with others who may have ideas or an interest.

Here’s the TLDR

What: parrot psychology, welfare and contrasting views on conventions and touted rules.

Why: I love parrots and think many opinions and rules regarding them miss the mark.

Who: a person with OCD who lives with many parrots and has very strong feelings about their welfare.

Those who aren't interested in the background should move onto the next post :BUT PLEASE: read this post before disputing my views or anything along those lines; it's only fair. I'm not here to make people feel bad about how they do things or to argue. We all have our own thoughts and feelings based on our experiences but none of us have all the answers. I love to learn, especially about birds. If you disagree with my point of view, let's talk about it. Learning you were wrong about something opens up new avenues to understand things better; which I welcome.

The What and the Why

Those whose lack of attention span trumps their interest in parrots, this might not be the blog for you: it's going to get textical up in here. There will be pretty pictures though.

For those with an excess of attention; sources will be brought in wherever possible. Please ask, message or comment and discuss your opinions and experiences with me.

The word parrot typically summons images of vivid, beautiful birds with large hooked bills. Maybe they are saying silly or offensive things, perhaps reciting vocabulary on queue or maybe flicking their head back and forth to metal music while screaming. Maybe they are riding bikes. We see them in movies, videos online, pass them in pet shops. It feels like we generally get what they are about. I spent six years obsessing over them and researching them in between general bird-watching, bird photography and doing my research before committing to taking one in. At this point, I still somehow had no idea about the depth and complexity of the relationships they are capable of forming with us. How is that possible? Most of us despite having an "understanding" that parrots are very intelligent creatures don't seem to actually comprehend what that even means. Everyone who meets anyone from my flock is blown away by what they can do, what they can say, their level of affection towards me, even just the fact they will wear a harness. Some people ask if the birds have have names. Some people ask how we remember all of their names. People are sometimes surprised they live inside. Even people who have birds, love birds or work with birds have been shocked by even the most rudimentary aspects of our flock life. I spend a lot time thinking about what people believe, what articles (and websites in general) say, the rules that are pushed; and how much of it doesn't necessarily stand up to scrutiny beyond a cursory glance. This makes me feel the need to try and organise my thoughts on the subject.

The Who

I’m a diagnosed OCD person who is part of a large flock of parrots. Since taking in our first parrot we have taken in many more. I have worked with volunteer organisations rescuing and rehabilitating endangered cockatoos; I’ve worked in breeding, raising and training various types of parrots. Our flock has come to us from a multitude of different circumstances ranging from hatching them to taking in self-mutilating birds who's owners are leaving them behind while moving away, from birds who would have been euthanised if given to an institution, to birds who have been sold off to pet stores by family when their owner has passed away.

I don't do anything ground-breaking. I am not claiming to be the parrot messiah. I simply love birds. I have a deep and unique relationship with every bird I've taken in. Each of them are individuals. They have their own personalities, quirks, preferences and problems. I just want to try to organise my constant thoughts about it all and to help people look at these incredible creatures and their behaviour from a different angle.

#parrots #birds #engaged not caged #birdblr #parrot psychology

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