#yeah i’m fucking salty af

[kradogsrats]

ghhhhh okay I'm feeling feisty today so: I'm not going to do this as a reblog of the actual post because I don't want to bust into someone's blog like the Kool-Aid man going NO U because this is not personal at all. But... I want to address the question of "would it not be dark magic (as in 'bad') anymore if you only use ethically-sourced ingredients?" because it's a thing.

And because even leaving aside all the other shit that's going on with dark magic, the answer is a) oh, you sweet, sweet summer child who thinks that's possible, let alone viable, and b) that's not the point.

It's like asking "is an authoritarian dictatorship bad if there's a good person in charge?" YES! It is! It is such a continuous failure point in the human mind that we think "well, it wouldn't have gone that badly if I did it" that there are literally thousands of years of stories about how that's objectively not true! There's an entire fucking Greek word for it!

Like... you literally only have to look at the real world for about a minute to start seeing problems with this. There has never been a single fucking resource that people can maintain ethics about. You want elf hair? How long until elves in vulnerable situations are being coerced into selling pieces of their bodily autonomy? How long until someone has a mini factory-farm camp of enslaved elves? And then you want to talk about animal products? DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH. Just look at the current ethical mess that is large-scale egg or milk production—once demand is high enough, someone winds up unable to control themselves. We've driven entire species of birds to the edge of extinction because their feathers were pretty in hats. There are literally laws preventing people from selling feathers they have picked up off the ground to prevent it from happening again, because that's how it fucking started. Let that sink in for a sec and then tell me again that mages would only ever use phoenix feathers naturally shed during molting.

/SCREECHES okay i'm okay

The other thing is that TDP is a very thematic story, and dark magic is an integral theme component. This is a story literally 90% about bad choices people make because they think they're right, that it's all for a good cause, and that the ends justify the means. That's the central conflict around dark magic, going back to the expulsion of humans from Xadia: do the ends justify the means? "Oh, it was necessary! Humans were oppressed! It was the only thing they could do to escape slavery and genocide!" No it fucking wasn't. I'm not going to dig up my posts about this because I'm pretty sure they're linked in the other ones above, but that explanation is a lie that canon is doing a slow-burn reveal on. Does that mean Xadia is right and all humans are awful forever, the end? No, don't be stupid. Are there definitely other lies being told? Absolutely.

But it's a disservice to everything the setting and story is trying to say to be like "what if we could use the ends-justify-the-means juice, but in a way where the means were such that the ends really did justify them?" Like... no, stop. You're trying to take a very complex ethical question and simplify it into a good/evil dichotomy. That's not how literally any part of this story works. I do think they did it just a bit of a disservice in that area by calling it "dark" magic, just because we are so trained by generations of weird bullshit to associate dark = evil, which makes the ethical themes going on under the hood trip people up.

Could you make a character who was a dark mage only using ingredients that they source ethically? Sure. But they'd be a very interesting study in hypocrisy, not a pioneer of a new form of magic.

#dark magic #yeah i’m fucking salty af #stressed out and shrieking #like please just accept that you like characters who do bad things instead of creating bizarre moral what-ifs to make yourself right #it will make your life a hell of a lot easier i promise #... i say having just admitted i'm stressed out and shrieking #look do as i say not as i do

[targaryenrealnessdarling]

No Pain, No Gain | Part 1 | PersonalTrainer!Aemond x fem!reader

Summary: The personal trainer your roommate Baela recommended to you is rude, condescending but also hot as hell. Series Masterlist.

A/N: shoutout to my personal trainer Alex for rotting my brain. This is my first modern!Aemond fic, so any feedback is genuinely appreciated, I hope you enjoy this, it was an absolute ball to write (and there will be more!)

Also I could not post this without tagging some absolute modern!Aemond QUEENS who inspired me to write this. @valeskafics @oneeyedvisenya @sapphire-writes​ you’re the real ones! Also massive hug to @ewanmitchellcrumbs​ for hyping me up and being a parent to this child she didn't choose to create.

warnings: EVENTUAL SMUT, 18+, sexual tension, binge eating, mentions of breakup, cursing, dickhead Aemond, reader is horny af, English slang (soz), warnings will be added when needed

To say you were broken-hearted would be a bit of an understatement.

You were angry, annoyed, frustrated, wound up tight and pissed off to the highest degree.

And it showed in how you acted these days as you polished off the salty family-size bag of crisps on your own in 10 minutes flat.

You look over at your phone and sigh when you see it’s already 6 o’clock in the afternoon. Another day sat on the sofa, wallowing in self-pity, eating yourself into oblivion and fairly soon pouring a glass of Baela’s finest white wine (now that it was officially almost evening anyway and it was justified).

Scrolling through instagram was like twisting the dagger that was already in your chest. All that stupid fucking app could show you was ‘ex in the bar with his new girlfriend’, ‘ex in the drive-thru with his new girlfriend’, ‘ex on the beach with his new girlfriend’.

It made you want to throw your phone directly at the wall. But you settled for squeezing the life out of it, imagining it was your ex’s stupid face instead.

The absolute waste of space had broken up with you over text on the night you were supposed to go out on a date. And as if that was not bad enough, not even two weeks had gone by before he’d managed to stick his dick into someone else with a pulse. At the time, you were so angry that you didn’t accuse him of anything, he’d already broken up with you. But you did suspect that this ‘sudden’ relationship he’d gotten into wasn’t as recent as first thought. 

It’s been a month since you found out about the other woman.

And clearly you were coping really well.

Indulging wasn’t something you usually did, but now you feel you deserved it. 

“Hello~” the soft, ringing voice of your roommate Baela was at the door. You half-considered hiding all the packets of various foods you’d managed to stuff down your gob, but Baela had seen worse of you. She’d seen you while you were throwing your guts up after freshers week at university. Nothing was worse than that and you shuddered at the memory.

She walks in, looking more put together than you by a long way, having been hanging out with her sister all day. That’s what you like about Baela, she’s not judgemental, and so when she sees you’ve barely moved an inch she just flashes her usual smile.

“Good day then?” she says with a smirk. You raise your eyebrows in return.

“Apart from seeing him plastered all over instagram I’m great” 

“Got any left?” she asks, extending a greedy hand for a crisp. You offer her the bag with a sigh as she slumps on the sofa next to you. She watches boredly whatever you have on the TV,

"Why don't you just block him?" She asks. And to be fair, she has a point.

But you huff and shove another crisp in your mouth, whining, "Cos I'm a nosy bitch with no boundaries"

Baela sighs, pulling out her own phone and scrolling through her notifications, "As much as I love you y/n, this is pathetic, even for you"

You'd be offended if she wasn't completely right. And you know she's only half joking so you just shrug.

"How was Rhaena?" You ask.

"Yeah fine, usual shit with Dad. Oh I didn't tell you-" she starts.

She has that glint in her eye which spells trouble. She's got gossip and you raise your eyebrows in anticipation.

"Hold that thought, wine first?"

"Obviously"

After giggling and waltzing over to the counter to pour two glasses of the finest box wine you could get for under seven English pounds, you hand her one and wait almost too excitedly for her to spill whatever sweet gossip she has.

She sips it, almost like she needs the liquid courage to begin, and she hisses at the sweet, acidic taste.

"God that's foul" 

"It was 2 for 1!" You retort with a laugh, but she is right, it does taste foul, "Stop stalling, tell me tell me tell me" 

She looks at you as if to say bitch, you are not fucking ready.

“Dad’s married Rhaenyra” 

The force of which your jaw drops open is almost comical. You’d guessed for a while that they were at least fucking, but to just elope?!

“I need money, cos I betted on this shit happening!” 

“Oh my gosh, Rhaena was fucking hysterical. Jace and Luke aren’t surprised at all, but Alicent is beside herself in the family group chat, it should honestly be a reality TV show” Baela says scrolling through said group chat. From what you can see without being too nosy, is that there’s a lot of long paragraphs and angry emojis.

“What about Viserys, surely he’s…” you ask, trailing off to sip the pissy wine in your hands.

“Oh no, he’s thrilled. Which pisses Alicent off even more if that’s possible”

“Baela I think your Uncle’s gone insane” you bite your lip to stifle a laugh.

“No fucking kidding”

You slump back onto the sofa, “Holy shit, I am a genius. I knew the whole time” you say, smirking in victory.

“And so humble too” Baela gives a sarcastic grin which you return.

“How do you feel about it?”

Baela shucks her phone onto the coffee table, sighing, “Not bothered, we’re all adults now, so it hardly makes a difference to me. Suppose it’ll get Dad to stop bringing back random women now” she says exasperated, “but Rhaenyra gets the impression we’re all really bothered so she’s invited us all to a retreat for a week. Think she just wants to butter us up for marrying our Dad”

“Oh? Anywhere nice?”

Baela looks over, giving you a wearied look.

“What?”

“Well that brings me to you”

“Oh god, what” you ask, dropping the tone to emphasise the seriousness of the talk all of a sudden.

Baela fiddles with the remote, in an attempt to appear cute, “Well~ There’s a spare ticket going and you’re my bestest friend. And I would hate to endure a week of watching my Dad eat Rhaenyra’s face off, so come with me please?” she begs.

You sigh, “Baela usually I would love to sponge off you like that but-”

“Pleasepleaseplease~” she begs, “Rhaena’s bringing her boyfriend and we’re basically together!” 

You fake a gagging sound.

“Oh come on, a week on a beach in bikinis,sweltering weather with as many cocktails as you can hold isn’t exactly torture”

You give her an incredulous look, opening your arms to emphasise all the bags of junk food around you, “Do I look beach body ready to you?!”

“Oh fuck off, you’re hot and have an ass that can keep the world fed” 

“I know I am hot, I just don’t feel hot” you stare blankly at the TV, trying to ignore her and stuff another crisp into your mouth.

Baela sighs, “I was just thinking it would be a nice distraction, that’s all” 

“I want to it’s just…” you start, trying to think of the right words, “...I don’t feel my best”

Baela gives you a playful slap on your arm, “Look, forget your ex, he’s dumb as fuck and it’s not solving anything by staying inside with the curtains drawn all day. If you want to feel better, might be worth taking care of yourself a bit, hm?” 

Fuck her, you think, rolling your eyes, she’s right.

You hate how often she’s right. Because she gets that look on her face when she is. Always has done.

“How about that gym membership you’ve not used since February?” she asks,

“Okay firstly, ouch. Secondly, I realised I don’t know the first thing about how to work out in a gym, besides the guys there were…weird”

You shudder at the thought. It was January and so all the new year’s resolution guys were at it in full swing, using the gym as a means to try and pick up girls. And since graduating you find that more often than not the guys who hit on you were students. Maybe it was different now?

Baela pokes her cheek with her tongue, racking her brain.

“One of my cousins is a personal trainer? I could text him to see if he’s happy to take you on. Mates rates” she smiles.

You side-eye her hard. You’ve heard briefly about her cousins. Some of the stories are a bit more…eccentric than others. And even though you’ve never met them, you’ve heard enough stories to satisfy your curiosity. 

“This isn’t the manwhore cousin, right? Because if it is then no” 

She scoffs, “No. Aegon hasn’t set food in a gym since graduating and he only went cos it was free. The personal trainer one is Aemond. He’s a bit…anti-social?” she pulls a face when she says it.

“He’s anti-social and he’s a personal trainer?” you ask, eyebrow raised, “makes so much sense”

Baela scrolls through her contacts, “Yeahhh. Don’t worry though, he’s just grumpy” she explains, “want me to text him?”

Your head falls to the edge of the sofa in a huff. You want to go and on top of that, it might be nice to finally have a break. That and you’d love to shove it in your exes face when he sees you’re on holiday looking your hottest. 

“How long ‘til the holiday?”

Baela grins victoriously, “A month and a bit. He does a month course for stuff like this, I can ask him about it”

What the fuck am I getting myself into, you think briefly.

Fuck it.

“Fine”

The force at which Baela’s nails tap against the screen is almost desperate.

Baela snorts a laugh at the message and turns her phone to show you the messages.

“He seems lovely” you roll your eyes sarcastically.

“Like I said, he’s just grumpy. He’ll be professional though” she says.

You sigh, crushing the empty bag of crisps in your hands.

“Can’t wait” 

After following him on instagram, you did a bit of shameless stalking. You’d heard a little bit about Aemond from Baela talking about her family, but he seemed the most mysterious out of all of them (save for the youngest whose name she struggled to even remember). 

He had very little photos of himself, mainly progress pictures of other clients he’s helped. And he seems to be pretty successful so far. A girl with a similar body to you managed to get toned on his one-month program and looked hot afterwards, so you had some high hopes that it was possible for you as well. But you did wonder what he looked like. There were only two photos where he was in frame, and he’d been tagged by another person, looking away from the camera.

From what you could see, he was very tall, lithe and slim but built, with silver hair that had been pulled up into a bun. Ah, so he’s a man-bun type of guy. Yikes. 

Unfortunately, the photo showed very little of his face, so you couldn’t be too nosy.

You sent a very brief message, introducing yourself, trying not to cringe at the idea that he might be doing the exact same stalking to your instagram right at this moment. A shiver went up your spine at the thought. 

It’s only when you’re in TKMaxx with Baela, shopping for gym gear the next day, that you finally get a reply from him. 

“What do you think of just wearing a sports bra?” Baela says, eyeing up a black shirt.

You’re too busy staring at the message, “Hm? Oh, I’d just go in gym leggings and a bra yeah. Just got a reply from your mysterious cousin”

Baela hops over, “What’s he said? Nothing bad I hope” she grins.

 You show her the screen.

Baela raises her eyebrows, “Very formal. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised” she says, seeming surprised that he’s at least cordial.

“It’s very ‘serial-killer-esque’ of him not to have a profile picture” you joke, locking your phone again.

Baela picks out a black gym set. Black leggings with a mesh pocket on the side for your phone and a black sports bra. You nod, “Yeah looks good to me”

“Oh please you’re gonna look hot in this” she smirks, leading you over to the counter to pay.

She rewards you for your efforts by driving you to McDonald's drive-thru. A send off to junk-food so to speak.

And when Monday rolls around, you nod in the mirror. She was right, it does look hot on you. At least in the safety of your flat where there’s nobody to look at you. In a gym, surrounded by other fit people and a personal trainer you’ve never met? It might feel slightly different.

There’s a faint swirl of anxiety in your gut but you pull your trainers on, grab a hair tie from your nightstand and drive to the gym you’ve agreed to meet at. Luckily it’s your local gym, large and packed to the brim with some good equipment at least. And you briefly wonder what kind of workouts you’ll be doing before pulling into the car park.

You see him as soon as you enter the gym. He’s very tall, slender but muscular and fucking gorgeous. What the fuck, is all you can think when you shamelessly scan him from head to toe. Like the pictures, he has his long silver hair in a bun, with a few pieces having come free and falling around his face. His legs are miles long in the black sweats he’s wearing, as well as the black top that sticks a bit too snugly to his front and shoulders, making your mouth water a bit.

And you can’t help but admire his side profile, how his jaw just so naturally and sharply juts into his chin. How his cheekbones sit so prominently and high on his face, framing his features. His sharp, defined nose. And you can’t see from here because he’s looking down at his phone, but his eyelashes are unnaturally long for a man. It’s just unfair, frankly.

Shaking yourself briefly from the trance you were in, you right yourself and approach him.

He looks up to see you before you even have a chance to open your mouth. Now that he's looking at you face on, you can see the shocking blue of his right eye and the paler, soft hue of the other. Not only that but the angry scar that ran down the side of his face, extending from his forehead to the mid part of his cheek, straight through the eye.

You look at it for a split second, surmising that perhaps he's partially sighted or blind in that eye. But you choose not to say anything and instead smile with an awkward wave.

"Hey, you must be Aemond"

He openly drags his eyes over you, from head to toe, just like you did a moment ago without his knowledge. But now that you're standing right in front of him, in the gym gear that you totally don't feel a bit self conscious in, it feels a bit weird.

He doesn't reply for a moment.

"I'm y/n" you say, forcing a smile to your nervous face.

"Hm" he responds lowly, "Baela's friend" 

You pull an awkward face and nod.

You feel so stupidly small against this absolute giraffe of a man and you daren't step forward any more, for fear of looking even smaller under his judgemental and indifferent gaze.

He sighs and gestures for you to follow him, seeming disinterested as he looks down at his phone. For a brief second you wonder how this guy keeps his clients if he's this rude, but you shake the thought away, not wanting to judge too quickly.

He leads you into one of the consultation rooms, separate from the rest of the gym. He sits on one of the seats, sighing as if he's had the hardest day in the world and taking a swig of water from his bottle.

Sat across from him, you feel a bit small under his gaze. He's quite intimidating, you now find.

"Have you ever worked out before" he asks flatly.

You shrug, "I've tried I guess, but never super seriously" you laugh awkwardly, but he doesn't return it.

He runs his eyes over you again, as if to say yeah I can see that.

"Stand up. Shoes off. We're going to take your weight and measurements" he orders, going to his bag to grab some things.

It's beyond awkward and quiet in the room with him as he idly takes down your weight, height and current eating habits, which you've had to be more honest about than you'd cared to admit.

Standing in the middle of the room, he twirls his measuring tape on his fingers. He measures your upper body first, which isn't too bad until he gets to your bust. You try and look anywhere else in the room while he measures across it, his fingers landing softly at either arm, taking a note of the measurement. You internally scold yourself, he is so much taller and surely must be able to see right down the sports bra. It only serves to make your face heat up with embarrassment.

If that wasn't enough, he gets to your lower body, measuring your hips and then thighs. He gets to his knees to do it and you resist the urge to pull your hands into fists at the proximity of him to your intimate area, separated only by a thin pair of gym leggings and underwear.

He doesn't seem to bother himself with the awkwardness. And every time you look at his face, he seems indifferent, bored even. Even then, his face is unnaturally beautiful, even with the scar.

He must really not like people.

Aemond sighs having taken all his notes.

"We'll do one training session and see how much weight we can do" he instructs. You nod.

"I expect you to be in the gym four times a week, three in the week and once at the weekend. We'll do one session together a week so I can check your progress" 

His tone is so flat, all you can do is nod. He looks at you,

"Got it?" 

Your cheeks heat up, "Um, yeah"

"Good"

He leads you outside to the actual gym floor which luckily isn't too busy, side-eyeing you massively when you pull your hair up into a ponytail to get it off your neck.

His large form leads you over to where the mats are kept, haphazardly throwing two to the floor.

He doesn't say anything past one or two word commands and it's incredibly difficult to not look in the mirror in front of you to watch him as he stretches. The way he stretches his arms over his head and it lifts the hem of his shirt a little, showing his happy trail, biceps rippling.

And when he does leg stretches, instructing you to do the same, you can't help but stare at how his thighs are basically bulging out from his sweats. It takes all of your strength and will to not look any higher than that towards his hips.

He watches your form as you try and copy him stretching. And your heart almost leaps into your chest when he uses his hand to move your ankle slightly, so that you put pressure on a certain muscle. But he focuses completely, professional.

Fuck, be professional.

All caution is thrown completely to the wind when he gets you on machines. He demonstrates some of them first, starting with the so-called 'easier' ones, like the inner and outer thigh machines that look way too…suggestive.

Of course, he's got it on a ridiculous weight to demonstrate which makes you scoff a bit. And when you get on the inner thigh machine, it locks into place with your legs spread. You thank every god there is that there's no mirror in front of you on this machine.

"You have to start with your legs spread as much as possible" he states simply, pushing the pads against your legs even further. It makes your eyes widen, sinful thoughts pop up in your head. But before they take root you shake them away.

It's ridiculously hard the first few times and he raises an eyebrow.

"Really?" He mocks a bit, the tiniest of smirks on his face "you're only on 14kg" 

"Fuck off" you mutter under your breath. He tuts and changes it to 9kg, bruising your ego a bit. But you finish the set nonetheless.

You think he's a bit of a psycho, because after that little remark he has you on every leg machine available. Making fun every time you have to be on the lowest weight.

After the session, you're aching in places you didn't even know existed and you haven't even rested yet. Knowing full well you'll be achy as fuck tomorrow and even wlrse than right now. The faintest sheen of sweet is visible on your pinkened chest.

"You're weaker than I thought" 

He runs his long fingers through his hair and you want to slap that stupid fucking self-indulgent look off his smug face seeing you all out of puff like this.

"Thanks, means a lot" you say sarcastically, drinking from a water bottle. He raises an eyebrow at the attitude.

"I'll send you your workout plan. If you have any issues do me a favour and don't bother me with them" he retorts.

"Charming" you mutter under your breath once he's gone past you. You watch as he walks away, briefly appreciating his broad shoulders, until the sour taste of his poor behaviour settles in. And you huff, texting Baela immediately.

You curse every god there is that you drive a manual car, because right now the thought of having your aching leg pressing on the clutch pedal might actually drive you to mass-murder.

This is going to be a long month.

Taglist: @mrsgrwy @lovelykhaleesiii

#aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond smut #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #aemond fanfiction #aemond fic #modern!aemond targaryen #modern!aemond x reader #modern!aemond #modern!aemond smut #modern!hotd #aemomd targaryen smut #aemond one eye #aemond stannies #personaltrainer!aemond #aemomd x you #aemond imagine #modern!aemond targaryen x you #modern!aemond targaryen x reader

[yureichi]

One thing I’m salty af about is that despite Oak saying the Folk adore Cardan and are terrified of Jude and Oriana saying that his sister cultivates both love and fear, the adoring part and the positive feelings weren’t really shown.

Save for Oak himself, all the other characters that mention them don’t seem to take them particularly seriously, they are always varying degrees of disdainful and condescending. Queen Annet referred to Jude as “that sister of yours” as if she was talking about some peasant instead of the High Queen. Cardan is being called a coward left and right either outright or in roundabout ways and when he told these faeries to leave when the ordeal with Garrett happened a few blissfully ignored the king’s order. First thing Madoc says to Oak as soon as his daughter the queen™️ unbanishes him? “If you had a powerful queen, it would be more possible to support you against the current occupants of the thrones. Let’s start scheming, just for kicks ~rubs hands conspiratorially~”. Unpopular opinion I guess, but I wish he stayed fucking exiled.

Like, outside the royal family and the Court of Shadows, only three characters seem to respect and acknowledge them in a positive light: Lord Roiben, Lord Severin and Grima Mog. And despite knowing better, I’m still pissed at how many Folk are assholes like that. It would be nice to see someone saying “yeah, they’re good rulers, they made improvements, this thing is better than it was when Eldred was king” for a change.

But I’m glad that at least when the fae are dicks to their faces, Jude and Cardan put them in their places with intimidation and clever phrasings. They are menacing, after all, but way too many people are still taking liberties as if they aren’t that important. Also, I took the “mortal concubine” personally and am glad that Valen dude was found hanged lmaooo.

#jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #the folk of the air #tfota #the prisoners throne #can’t stop overanalysing everything #i’m sorry your honor I just love them so much

[jeonsbabygirlsworld]

CHOCOLATE SAUCE

SUMMARY: The better way to have chocolate sauce is to have it on your bodies.

PAIRINGS: Jungkook x reader x Mingyu

WORDS:782 Ig ?

SMUT WARNINGS: Food play, Just Blowjobs, she messy af,cum eating, reader is called slut by Jungkook, mentions of fucking her ass later but not in detail, Jungkook teases Mingyu about sending a video to his girlfriend Lmk if I missed anything.

A/N: Thank you to the sweetest person requesting this <3 I hope I didn't disappoint you. Drabbles will always be open for this fic :0 Please like reblog and follow ⚠️⚠️Also, this contains cheating themes don't read if this triggers you. ⚠️⚠️

Soft and giggling voices resounded in your apartment when Jungkook entered he thought Mingyu, and you would be watching something on the TV. But boy he was so damn wrong about it. 

You were all sprawled above the large kitchen counter fully naked while Mingyu had a chocolate sauce bowl in his hand and he traced your shoulder blade and spine, your nipples were already messy with the sauce from the early teasing, giggling softly when he dropped them teasingly.  

“Hey Jungkook, look she looks so fucking edible,” Mingyu says holding one freshly cut strawberry in his fingers and dipping it in the mess on your shoulder, Jungkook gulped looking at the site.  

“Come here, kook join us, baby,” you say softly your fingers doing a ‘come here” action.  

Mingyu licks off the sauce while Jungkook watches you both and undresses himself. When Mingyu is done you get up and sit up on the edge. While Jungkook walks up towards you standing in front of your spread legs and kisses you on the lips softly.  

“Missed you, baby, was Mingyu good to you baby when I was gone?” He asks pulling on your lip when the kiss ends “he was good, gave me the best Morning sex today” you say turning to face him, extending your arms to have both of them with you.  

“Yeah, baby? Now are you gonna be good for me? He asked his hands taking yours and taking it to his crotch heavy and thick in your hand. Fuck so heavy I’m sure those are full of his hot cum.  “look I’m so hard for you”

Lifting you off the counter table you were now on the floor facing his raging boner. Giving Him the cutest puppy eyes you speak making his breath hitch “Kook, please want to suck the chocolate sauce off your cock, pretty please”you say grabbing him through his boxers and nodding to you.  

You look up to See Mingyu already handing you the bowl. “Gyu, can you stand next to him, I’ll suck you off too baby,” you say getting ready to make a mess on Jungkook’s cock.  

Hissing at the cold touch of the chocolate sauce you suck him groaning at the taste of the chocolate and his salty Precum “So fucking good Kook” you say turning to Mingyu and giving him a hand job.  

“Baby make him messy too, suck him off too yeah?” Jungkook smirks looking at him “Yeah go on y/n make it messy” he growls while moaning when you apply some on him.  

This goes on for a good minute sloppy sounds fill the apartment their cocks wet with your saliva. The chocolate sauce sometimes drips on the floor when you’re too busy with another one. Jungkook being the head pusher enjoys it when you suck his balls hallowing them and groaning when you suddenly come and take his leaking tip in your mouth.

Mingyu on the other hand ,he twitches when his cock is wet with your salvia and a bit of chocolate sauce left on the base forgetting about when Jungkook asked for your attention.  

“I’m going to cum baby, do it fast…...yeah just like that fuck that it, right, like that” Jungkook moans when he came right in your mouth some of his hot cum trailing down on your tits. “I’ll focus on Gyu now it’s fine baby?” You asked him, humming he sat down on the sofa.  

“Have fun Gyu, I’ll fuck her ass afterwards, shall I make a video on your phone Gyu? Show what you do when you should be with your girlfriend and not your slut?”  he says teasing him and winking at you. “Fuck you Kook, she better than Hearin anyways”. He says waving him off.  

You apply a bit more of the sauce on his cock palming him and leaving kisses and sucking on the red tip “fuck y/n, so messy make it more yeah” Mingyu announces his hands grabbing your hair to keep you in position. “Take what you can baby only what you can, pretty mouth is gonna make me cum” he says always being a sweetheart to you.  

“Fuck yeah Mingyu cum on your pretty girl’s face do it” you begged speaking in between all the sucking and palming. Mingyu soon reached his high cumming on your face.  

Looking at jungkook he says “fuck she looks really pretty”  

You sit there looking at them with your puppy eyes, both of their cums on you and yeah, the remnants of the chocolate sauce on your nipples.  

“Yeah, let’s ruin her now, shall we?” Jungkook says getting up and taking you to the room with Mingyu taking the chocolate sauce bowl.  

It’s gonna be a long night and you are ready for it. 

<3<3<3

TAGLIST : @kimmingyuswifee , @jungk97kwife , @meraofc , @httpjeonlicious .

LEASH PT 1

LEASH PT 2

DRABBLE 2

#bts #jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic bts smut #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook #mingyu smut #svt smut #mingyu oneshot #mingyu x reader #kim mingu

[vivwritesfics]

the idea women only watch F1 because the men are hot is the stupidest thought process i’ve ever heard. i’m not watching cars drive around because i think the driver who i can’t see is hot? i’m watching it because im competitive as fuck

but like seriously motorsport is maybe one of the only sports where you never actually “see” the athletes during the event. but yeah us women probably only like it cause a man is hot (i’m salty…)

- 🇺🇸

NAH IM SO MAD BC LIKE THE GIRLS HAVE BEEN RESPECTFUL AF????? like okay I saw the video of Charles going to sign something and stopping and it's funny and maybe slightly crosses the line

BUT WE DONT GO AND TAKE VIDEOS OF DRIVERS IN THE TOILET LIKE WTF?!!?! YES IM STILL MAD ABOUT IT BC ITS VILE

Plus yeah, you can't see the fucking drivers. My friends and I say that them being hot is a bonus of liking the sport lol

BC I DIDNT GET INTO THIS SPORT BECAUSE OF THE WAY THEY LOOKED!! WHEN I GOT INTO IT I DIDNT SEE THEM WITHOUT HELMETS FOR MONTHS

No but seriously my ex was so... possessive even when I was talking about famous men that I didn't know what the drivers looked like until maybe a months before we broke up lol

#vivi speaks #🇺🇸nonnie

[wendytestabrat]

kyle’s most toxic/chaotic episodes:

•ike’s wee wee - for harassing ike once he found out he was adopted and saying he’s not his real brother and then sending him on a train to nebraska

•cow days - for him being a spoiled materialistic brat and a jerk to cartman all for some terrance & phillip dolls; HE FUCKING THREATENS CARTMAN INTO RIDING A BULL AND THEN WHEN CARTMAN GETS HURT AND HAS TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL HE STILL MAKES CARTMAN GO BACK ON THE BULL

•douche & turd - for bullying and pressuring stan to vote for a giant douche, sending puff daddy after him, LITERALLY SPITTING ON HIM, and using kenny for his own benefit all so he could beat cartman. also the fact that he wanted a giant douche as the mascot was just immature af LOL

•cartman’s incredible gift - for jumping off a fucking roof because he couldn’t stand to see people taking cartman seriously as a psychic

•mr. garrison’s fancy new vagina - for his blatant racism (and internalized anti-semitism) assuming he would only be good at basketball if he was tall & black - basically he did blackface here LOL

•two days before the day after tomorrow - for hiding the jew gold

•ginger kids - for BREAKING AND ENTERING into cartman’s room to turn him into a ginger which caused cartman to go on an extermination against every non-ginger

•le petit tourette - for rounding up 47388392 pedophiles to shoot themselves on dateline because he was mad abt cartman pretending to have tourettes (even tho he was just jealous of cartman’s brilliant idea LOL)

•imaginationland - for being so fucking arrogant and sure that leprechauns aren’t real that he signed a legally binding contract to suck cartman’s balls (which wasn’t very smart) and then couldn’t honor his commitment when he was wrong. i’m sorry but like IDGAF what a bet is about you just don’t agree to suck someone’s balls idc how sure u are that you’re gonna win LOL.

•tonsil trouble - for making fun of cartman for having aids and then gets MAD at cartman for making aids jokes later on to stay positive smh

•britney’s new look - for coming up with the idea to get a paparazzi photo of britney for $$ - it was his fault that britney shot herself

•fatbeard - for purposely trying to get cartman sent off to somalia to die and inadvertently making his brother go there too

•you have 0 friends - for being an annoying social media prick and not leaving stan alone about facebook and doing dumbass shit to get more FB friends WHO GIVES A SHIT people who care too much abt their social media followers are losers

•it’s a jersey thing - yeah do i even need to explain this one?

•crack baby athletic association - for exploiting crack babies for money and acting selfish & greedy like cartman in the process

•you’re getting old/ass burgers - FOR SELLING OUT STAN AT HIS WORST AND BEING A BACKSTABBING ASSHOLE

•a history channel thanksgiving - for throwing a hissy fit over cartman’s idea to use the history channel for their thanksgiving report and then getting all pouty later that he was wrong about aliens or whatever the fuck

•ginger cow - i don’t need to explain this one

•go fund yourself - for being all extra and causing drama by making his own startup company bc he was jealous of cartman for coming up with the name ‘washington redskins’

•stunning and brave - for encouraging cartman to stand up to PC principal and getting him sent to the hospital (AND BTW KYLE DIDN’T WANNA DO SHIT ABT PC PRINCIPAL UNTIL IT PERSONALLY AFFECTED HIM AND HE GOT IN TROUBLE FOR THE COMMENT HE MADE ABOUT CAITLYN JENNER)

•skank hunt - for accusing cartman of being the troll and getting everyone all riled up to break his shit

•wieners out - for him being salty when he found out cartman moved on with heidi, you know after he deadass broke all of cartman’s shit

•fort collins - for him threatening to expose cartman’s INTERNET HISTORY to heidi

•doubling down - for stealing heidi from cartman

•super hard PCness - for blowing up canada bc he was still pissed off about cartman & heidi LOL

•tegridy farms - for enabling cartman to sell vapes to kindergarteners (including his brother) despite his original stance of being against it, deadass almost giving up his entire birthday money for cartman, and then letting cartman beat up the drug dealer & helping him break into a vape shop 🙄

•south parq vaccination special - for trying to steal the vaccines for himself - yet bitching at stan & cartman that they were being selfish JFC

•south park post covid and the return of covid - for getting mad at cartman for being a rabbi and having a happy family and accusing him of stupid bullshit and cussing in front of his wife & kids (bringing up shit from 40 years ago) and then making cartman sacrifice his entire family to help him

•the streaming wars part 1 - for giving up all the money they earned on the streaming services to let cartman get tits LOL

#SOUTH PARK #KYMANRANTGARBAGE #kyle broflovski

[mrsbsmooth]

Season 5 - Summary

Hi Folks,

What it says above. I do not have a copy of the leaks nor did I rip them myself so please stop asking me how.

Spoilers under the cut obviously

💎Episode 3

Private chat with Eddie

Alfie tells you he's not putting all his eggs in one basket, but hooks up with Kat. No details yet, but it results in her dropping her pyjamas off the side of their bed. Skeaze.

Suresh sleeps on the daybeds so you don’t feel uncomfortable

💎Episode 4

Suresh is telling the other boys you’re getting back together.

You get a chat with Alfie where you decide whether you want to pursue him (later, not now) or if you want him in the friendzone

Finn gets a text saying he’s got a date with each of the girls, and he has to go in the order of preference starting with the girl he likes most

💎Episode 5

He picks MC first.

He cracks on fuckin hard. You can kiss Finn on the date. Twice.

Finn’s had a foursome with three girls

Once you’re back in the villa, Alfie and Eddie arc up a little bit cause they think Suresh is playing games with you.

Finn used pretty much the same lines on you as he did on Kat.

Finn and Suresh get in a bit of an argument.

💎Episode 6

Finn chooses Kat, and yes, you can choose to be salty about it

Dana says she’s taking it slow with Eddie

Guilty Secrets Challenge

Finn - Had a fling with their best friend’s sister Alfie - Got a tattoo of a camel on his big toe (got it removed tho) Kat - Has a secret fetish for sex on boats Eddie - Had to be rescued naked form a hotel rooftop MC - Got paid to strip (no you don’t get a choice in the matter). You were dancing on a podium and one of your mates slipped you some cash as a joke and then a whole heap of guys started throwing money at you. Finn - Had a foursome Suresh - Hid a long-term relationship from a person they were flirting with

Turns out Suresh never told the girl he slept with that he had a gf. He was flirting with her for months before they finally slept together after you guys had a huge fight. She’s a waitress and has a turtle tattoo. Alfie sticks up for MC a bit and Suresh calls him out for hooking up with Kat.

Kat’s a fucking annoying cow but she has some amazing lines. Iconic Kat Moment (IKM)™️

EDDIE: Come on, boys. Cool, calm, collected yeah?

KAT: I’m feeling cool, calm, neglected... Haven’t been centre of attention for at least four minutes.

Alfie comes and gives you a cuddle and tells you about his ex. He has the same thing as you, got cheated on by his first serious relationship. You bond. Kat interrupts and calls him out for hooking up with her and then immediately cracking on to you.

💎Episode 7

Alfie confesses to hooking up with Kat, and in the moment said he only had eyes for her. He said it just kinda came out and he regretted it immediately. Kat backs him up after saying he's genuinely into MC and tells you not to pie him off.

Chat with Suresh and he confesses more about the waitress, tells you Dana’s been flirting with him.

Chat with Finn where you get to call him out for kissing you (if you kissed)

Dana asks if its ok if she gets to know Suresh

💎Episode 8

Tell Dana whether or not its fine for her to crack on w/ Suresh

You're asleep on the daybeds and Alfie and Finn are talking. Kat wakes you up so you can eavesdrop with her. Alfie’s telling Finn he likes you a lot, and they concoct operation MC to get Suresh distracted so Alfie can crack on with you.

Alfie cracks on with you, you can kiss him (yay!)

Kissing Challenge - You can choose to Reject, Peck, or Snog any of the people who kiss you.

Kiss the Islander who:

Has the best chat: Finn kisses Kat Has the best abs: Kat kisses Suresh Is the funniest: Suresh kisses Dana 🐍🐍🐍 Has the best body: Eddie kisses MC You fancy the most: Dana kisses MC Is the nicest: Alfie kisses MC Has the best hair: MC kisses whoever the f she wants, including Kat and Dana. Kat will kiss you back even though she's straight AF. You'd take home to your family: Suresh kisses MC obviously. You can swerve him. (Do it)

Regardless of what you do, Suresh gives a heaps sappy speech about how much his family loved/adored you etc.

Alfie gets annoyed at it and starts a fight with Suresh. They almost get in a punch up.

Dana checks to see if it was ok that Suresh kissed her and that she kissed him back etc.

Kat tries to calm everything down, but ends up asking Suresh if he wouldn’t just be happier if he forgot about mc. And he's like maybe I would be.

💎Episode 9

Dana asks about you and her hooking up

For some fucking reason, Eddie’s name switches to Charlie. NO ONE KNOWS WHY. Henceforth he is called ChEddy

Alfie pulls you aside and apologises for arcing up at Suresh

He tells you more about being cheated on. He tells you his fam would love you.

YOU GET TO KISS HIM YAY

You also get to call Kat out for hooking up wit Suresh if you want.

Suresh decides he's sleeping inside tonight. For some reason we don’t get to go sleep on the daybeds??? Grrr

Can kiss dana YAY

Can also give Alfie a little goodnight kiss and a cuddle yay

While you’re in bed, Suresh wants to reminisce about your first kiss and its really horny. ChEddy told Suresh he saw you hook up with Alfie if ya did

Suresh wants to know if he should leave the villa. He hugs you goodnight and either dana or Alfie gets upset and leaves the bedroom. (Assuming whichever one you like better)

💎Episode 10

They’re going to the beach hut so you cant really follow them. Then you can kiss Suresh if you have no self-respect.

ChEddy tries to stir shit up and throw you under the bus? I don’t get him.

The girls try and get deets out of you and there's lots of sex puns and that’s what she said's.

Kat’s falling for Finn. (girl its been like two days, chill out, this is not queen behaviour)

Go hang out with Alfie yay

He tells you about a story that’s meant to be embarrassing where he accidentally kissed a girl on the nose but its actually just extremely boring

You can reassure or not reassure him that you like him.

Excess baggage challenge text

ChEddy’s like like ooooooo I need to tell you something and is all cagey and sounds like he's gonna fuckin blackmail you or something (NOT SERIOUS HE JUST SAYS HE MIGHT TELL ALFIE)

💎Episode 11

ChEddy chat. He tells you not to trust Suresh and that he’ll spill the tea about everything you got up to the night before (which is, in my case, being as rude to him as possible)

And ChEddy says he's gonna tell Alfie/Dana everything. (I literally HUGGED the guy you weirdo lol)

Oh and then he flirts with you (??? literally why, sir you are blackmailing me) and you can tell him you’re into it yay (god he's hot)

Excess baggage challenge

Girl's turn

This Islander:

❌Once dated a Grandma Dana kisses ChEddy (Correct Answer: Finn) ✔️Had a regular hookup in the mile high club Kat kisses Suresh, and is correct ✔️Once attended a naked party at an ex's mansion MC Kisses any of the boys. ---If you pick Finn - He swerves you and only wants a cheek kiss ---If you pick ChEddy, and snog him, he whispers in your ear afterwards 'I knew there was a spark there' ---If you pick Alfie, and snog him, ChEddy looks on jealously. (Note: Both Alfie and ChEddy are disappointed if you do anything other than snog them. ) (Correct answer: ChEddy) ❌Once performed a trumpet solo on a romantic picnic Dana kisses Suresh regardless of who you tell her to kiss (Correct answer: Alfie)

Boy's turn

This Islander:

❌Once spent a night with twins Suresh kisses Dana (Correct Answer: Kat) ❌Once pretended to be an estate agent on a viewing Finn kisses Kat (Correct Answer: Dana) ❌Split up with their ex the day after she bought an engagement ring to propose to them with It's you, obviously. Alfie kisses Dana.

Suresh is like, jaw on the floor, obviously.

Another Iconic Kat Moment (IKM)™️ 

KAT: What self-respecting girl proposes to her man? She should have the dignity to sneak around leaving desperate hints and dropping manipulative clues until he gets the idea.

💎Episode 12

Everyone's like wtf you were gonna propose to him? And you can be like ‘yeah. I was all in with you’ which makes it heaps awkward with Alfie and he gets a bit weird about it. So please don't say that. Pick literally any other option.

ChEddy is like "well you both hid things from each other then, so its ok" (which, oh my god, just no?!?!. A surprise proposal is not the same as FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE, why are all these men trash?)

Finn says he never wants to get married and Kat has a bit of a tantrum about it

Kat gets self conscious that Finn likes older women, but confesses that she fucked him in the shower already

Go talk to Alfie and he's all sad. He says he's gonna back off you a bit cause he's a bit spooked by how serious you were. 

Then Dana asks if you want her to back off too

💎Episode 13

Yet another chat with fucking Suresh, oh goody.

He’s all ‘if I'd admitted to cheating straight away could you have forgiven me?” (Literally it is still a no, I don't know how many times I have to tell you we're done)

And then he’s all  “I didn't even see the proposal coming” and “maybe we’re not as compatible as I thought we were, maybe we were never right for each other.” (Omfg finally)

Why is everyone breaking up with us right now though what in the fuck

Kat thinks Suresh is going to crack on now.

Dana brings you a drink. You can tell her ChEddy cracked on to you. 

Finn pulls you for a chat, asks about Kat and where her heads at. He also cracks on to you. You can ask him if he’s fucked Kat and he tells you no (lol so much for falling for him girl, you can do better, this man is trash.)

New girls arrive

Stunningly athletic and sexy Arlo strides down the steps - fearless, cool, confident, loving all eyes on her. (She's from Sheffield)

Linked in her arm is classy and cute girl-next-door Meera, who beams at everyone in excitement. (From Leicester) (She models)

Arlo is into girls and says shed go for both Dana and MC (if MC likes girls) otherwise just Dana

Get a text about a boys choice recoupling the following night. GRRRRRR

Oh also Suresh is super interested in Arlo

Another Iconic Kat Moment (IKM)™️ 

ARLO: You’re not into girls are you, Kat?

KAT (Sad): Always nice to be fancied though, ain’t it?

#litg #litg s5 #mbsTOPPOSTS

[vvitchering]

I said I wasn’t going to be publicly salty again but I need a min

What the fuck even was that episode

Did we really get 40 mins of pointlessly detailed development for for “”former”” imperialists while our main characters got sidelined AGAIN? I was almost to the end of the episode frantically checking the time because I forgot I was watching The Mandalorian.

Pacing is still abysmal like what the hell happened??? The first two seasons of the show had zero flops, every single ep was amazing and well crafted, and now we get the third absolute stinker in a season with only three episodes so far. That’s hilariously bad. I’d laugh if I wasn’t so upset. I miss The Mandalorian, I was excited to get to see it again, and this is what they’re serving up??????

I’ve been feeling this way since the first episode of this season and I’ve tried to keep telling myself “okay, I guess not every episode can be good, let’s wait til next week and maybe they’ll figure it out”. I hate that I’m saying that every single week. It’s almost half over and it’s done Nothing to further Din or Grogu’s development. They feel like afterthoughts in their own show.

I’ve seen people comparing this to the early tbobf episodes and I have to agree. But I’d even go as far as to say tbobf was better than this, at least Boba was on screen for most of it… But the feeling that these aren’t true The Mandalorian episodes, that they’ve pushed our main characters and their development aside in favor of something else, that feels familiar. And it sucks. And I’m sad.

Am I going to keep watching and hoping it gets better, yeah. Am I scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of actually believing it’s going to get better, also yeah. I’m just. I really hate to see something I love get treated like this. I cannot describe my disappointment when I realized the first longer episode was completely wasted on the fucking space fascists.

I miss when this was a quest of the week show that also focused on Din as a person. Now it feels like they’re rushing past him to set something else up in the grander scheme and I just don’t want to watch that. I didn’t sign up for that. I didn’t watch Andor because I don’t fucking CARE about that stuff.

I’m sorry I had to make another cry baby rant post about yet another episode. I’m so disheartened. My friends haven’t watched the episode yet so I don’t have another outlet to vent about this right now and I really needed it out of my head. I kinda got told I was overreacting with my negative opinion of the first two episodes but I feel vindicated af now lmao

Anyway Mando s3 support group when? 😭

#the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian #Mando s3 #mando s3 spoilers #Mando critical #god I hate that I had to use that tag so much #anyway I hated the episode again dont bother reading this if you didn’t :’) #I just needed to vent

[storiesofsvu]

Happy Thursday! It’s a very big day pascal!!!

(hint… that has nothing to do with l&o… im sorry for what im about to become…)

Okay, mothership. Let’s see how this starts out.

Okay… so… hear me out… our vic is recently out of jail, sure they were exonerated, BUT I guarantee you the parents/family of that little girl don’t fully believe it and they just became your prime suspects. (and if they don’t even question them in this ep I will be disappointed in them…)

Yeah I really like this new DA.

“ONLY TWO TRIALS IVE EVER LOST” ???!! JESUS FUCK he’s *good*

Ooooo and now there’s $10 million dollars involved. The plot thickens…

I think I say it every week, but I LOVE KATE

I know this bald guy from somewhere but I can’t remember where. OH!! IS IT NURSE JACKIE?! I think it’s from there.

That blue suit shaw’s got on is FIIINE.

You know… I think what I disliked the most about the OG l&o was cosgrove, mccoy and Nolan. Now two of those are gone and I’m actually enjoying the show more LOL.

Why is the courtroom backwards?

Very likely unpopular opinion: I think carisi would fit in really well on this show. We should replace Nolan with him, actually get him some screen time and court room scenes considering svu never lets him be a lawyer anymore (I know we’re getting some tonight but still. I’m salty with how few court scenes we’ve gotten since covid)

SAM IN THE GREEN PANT SUIT!!!! YES!! GIRL!!

Ooooo what a plot twist!! Yaass!

Okay… I might skip TO, we’ll see if it hooks me in the intro or not

It did not suck me in. the end.

SVU here we go!

Ooooooooo a JURY deliberating?!?! We’ve never gotten to see this before!! I think this would be a super neat thing to see more often!

Ohhhh fuuuuuccckkk me. Velasco in the leather jacket and on his bike. FUCK. I literally let out an audible groan and dropped the apple slice I was eating. FUCK. I am down bad for him rn.

Who’s kid is that with fin?

TERRY NAKED IN BED WITH A LADY!!! TERRY NAKED IN BED!!

Listen this like, 10 seconds of personal life is all I need on a regular basis.

Okay he’s found guilt but im assuming that the girl they “peer pressured” into it is gonna come back to bite them in the ass

There’s gotta be some weird ass connection here, OR it’s a Bronwyn 2.0 situation. The way she looked at him? Ugh.

Im over the two new girls on the squad. Over it. I don’t like either of them.

Ah.. yes.. here we go. fuck this shit.

“you’re the one who wrote the bau profile” ….they’re literally trying to be criminal minds now. They DO realize that criminal minds is currently airing right? And that they’re not directly competing with each other, right? Like…cm is on streaming, they’re on cable, and they’re on different days/time slots. Stop with all this profiling shit and stick to just the nypd detective shit. That’s WHY we watch the show and what we come for…

Welp. Adding new charges is certainly a way to go rn. BUT now the defence can come back and say that they’re making shit up just to bring a new case to convict.

I know (assume lol) that it’s the same actress but the three “versions” of Maddie look nothing alike to me. Like, that is not the same girl lol.

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT WHO TERRY WAS IN BED WITH. One night stand? Gf? Casual dating? Fwb? WHOOOMST

“why didn’t you tell anyone this before?” coming from CURRY is EXACTLY why it should’ve been another SVU detective in that room, they know how to act, how to encourage victims to open up. (I get that maybe the thought behind it was that she’s a woman vs the rest of the men, but still).

HAHAH not carisi calling out the other boys for being divorced when they’re giving him shit about marriage troubles. I love him.

Ohhhh gooodddddddd no. not repping himself… fuck.

Okay…either this guy is dumb AF, or he’s playing dumb. Like the comment in chambers all “where do I sit? I’m Canada, I don’t know how the law works down here” and now he’s getting cocky and repping himself? Like yeah, I lowkey get it, Im Canadian and know more about laws in nyc than up here but I’m sure this man wasn’t out writing fanfic while kidnapping girls lol. Like, does he ACTUALLY know enough to accurately rep himself? Probs not. Like that’s fucking dumb. Carisi should be able to get him on so many technicalities and make him look like an idiot/rile him up enough to explode.

Also highkey worried about benson on the stand. She’s already so wound up it might not take long for her to burst. AND considering the jump scare that was William lewis last week, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still on her mind and a perp grilling her on the stand is gonna give her flashbacks of that trial and we all know how that went….

How tf  did he get a MILLION dollars?!

“carisi’s right, that monster needs eyes on him” YEAH DUH. THAT’S YOUR FUCKING JOB OLIVIA! Get yourself/your team on it!

What do you mean you’ve NEVER BEEN ON A STAKEOUT BEFORE?!? Curr’s an iab captain, I’m SURE she had to start as a beat cop… cmon.. that’s lazy writing.

Okay, but madi’s mom isn’t texting the perp to actually sleep with him, she’s doing it to get under his skin, right? Or like, to seduce him and she’s going haywire to kill him, right?

This guy is SO gross.

How is he SO good in a courtroom???

I thought amanda was in this episode?

Yup. Called it.

Velasco could shoot me any day. Sir. Please. I am begging.

“and now fin I want you to leave” girl. What. You’re going so fucking rogue and im so here for it LOL.

Okay, im just now remembering the description of the ep that amanda’s in, I was confused lol

Okay, that ep was good. Lets see how OC does next

Wait… I wasn’t paying attention, was that the MIA cop? Sam? Cause if so… fuck…

Ok, judging by these flashbacks, yes.. god his poor wife.

Elliot.. youre talking like a cop. How long have you been doing this? You know better.

The pacing of these episodes is too slow, it’s getting boring. It’s too much of stabler UC and not enough of actual police work/in the office. Its losing my attention FAST.

Like.. I watch this show for the cast as a whole and when we get arcs like this it turns into the Elliot stabler show and im not here for that. Throwing Ayanna UC for the meeting was a great addition but now we’re back to the stabler show and I’m scrolling my phone not paying attention.

Also… OC always fucks up and doesn’t have subtitles on it and that makes me lose interest cause I just simply cant watch shit without subtitles lol

Man I really fucking feel for sam’s(?) wife. This is heartbreaking. Ayanna & jet both with the single fucking tear? PLEASE. I’m literally crying.

Okay, stabler’s older(?) brother? Was he once a cop too? Or is he just playing cop rn? Is he gonna get himself killed??

This man needs therapy. Period.

“im no cop…”

“relax. I’m atf.” YAS lol.

“youd be surprised” “maybe I wouldn’t” yeah…none of us would. Stabler’s always in trouble.

Well THAT’S SUSPICIOUS

Man, we all knew this was coming, like the foreshadowing (for us as viewers) was SO obvious, but this still suuuuper complicates everything, ESP with joe being MIA.

Okay. That’s all. law and order day is officially over and the rest of the weekend is all about taylor swift. I’m not sorry. T-minus one hour!!!

#law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #spoilers #law and order organized crime #law and order spoilers

[absolutebl]

Hello! I'm fairly new to the Asian BL world, and I would just like to thank you for the amazing content you have on this blog, it has really guided me to watch some great shows. However, I have been very much into queer media before this, mainly in the form of books though, so I'm not really new to that aspect of the genre. I can understand the hype around western shows like heartstopper- its queer friendly and in English so a lot of people are really impressed by it. Do you think the reason western queer shows are more widely received is just because they are in English or do you think it's because these shows are more "queer" rather than more "BL"? Idk if this makes sense but there's this show called Young Royals which I personally really enjoyed but it's in Swedish, not English. Do you think a reason why western queer media is more hyped about than asian BL is because it has better queer representation? Is there anything unique to asian BL that you think sets it apart from queer media and it makes it more interesting to watch?

Hi! Welcome to the madness.

Do I think Western gay YA romcoms do "better" because they're more queer friend or because they're in English?

Never discount the basic human laziness factor which, in English speakers in particular, comes out in a remarkable resistances to reading captions. 

Because, that’s just SO MUCH work. Our poor baby eyeballs are so weak. 

How do I explain the success of, Young Royals?

It’s on Netflix. 

I mean, were are all happily hanging out here mucking about with Viki and GaGa (and...). But how many westerners do you know IRL who actually fuck with these streaming services? Only my friends who are into Kdramas know about Viki, and no one I know knows about GaGa. And I work in, ya know, the goddamn entertainment industry. 

So yeah, distribution makes a HUGE difference. 

Do you think a reason why western queer media is more hyped about than asian BL is because it has better queer representation?

Only if you hang out in queer circles, and/or listen to the wokes of pop culture tooting their own wank horns on NPR or whateves. (said affectionately, of course i listen, it’s my business to do so, but oof those academics can get pedantic - says the most pedantic person on tumblr) 

[Don’t winch at me YR fans, yes yes it’s very good, just not my thing, okay?]

Mainstream hype? 

Not really. 

The entertainment consuming masses don’t care about rep of any kind. They just want to be entertained to their regrettable lack of standards. 

So, entertained by preferably low-level reality TV bullpucky, true crime, and an apparently endless appetite for pseudo-military, savior complex, sanitized-medical-hero propaganda. (oooo my hatred of CSI and Law&Order is showing) 

Ah, yes, I didn’t sleep last night. I’m salty af. Forgive me? But at least I’m honest. Right? 

Is there anything unique to asian BL that you think sets it apart from queer media and it makes it more interesting to watch?

Yes. And mostly that’s what I natter on about in this blog. 

The wide range of settings, plots and choices in terms of things like paranormal elements, magical realism, family dynamics, households, daily life, foods, etc... 

Ranging length of treatments that fall outside of the Hollywood (or BBC) standards for movies, mini-series, or series. 

Varied languages and cultures (of course). And the fun side analysis that comes with trying to understand both aspects, including translation quandaries. 

The predominantly happy endings and fluff (avoidance of gritty and realistic folderol) especially in the last 5 years 

The uses of traditionally yaoi archetypes and tropes

The use of non-western narrative structures, mythologies, religions, and foundational elements of story 

Basically I’m just naming all the things I like about Asian BL. At root this makes the whole genre, for me, that much more escapist. And that’s what I want in my entertainment, soemthing that transports me and comforts me at the same time. 

(source) 

#asian bl #thai bl #korean bl #ABL gets salty #why bl is better #Young Royals #TonhonChonlatee #GMMTV #Love Sick #earthmix

[kradogsrats]

welp time to do my own tag filtering because I literally could not possibly care less what random youtubers think about anything

#yeah i’m fucking salty af #fuck the entire way off #and yes everyone on youtube is a random youtuber there are no good reviewers in that cesspool of algorithmic monetization #there is not a single youtube review or reaction or explanation that is interesting or worthwhile

[andvys]

Andy, bestie as an OG reader I feel like it is my duty and it is in my heart to fight for you whether you want me to or not. I’m gonna be mean as fuck and say that some of these anons are fucking assholes. Idgaf if they’re “saying it in the nicest way possible” they write those paragraphs out in a nice way that has a double connotation that actually comes out as bitchy and entitled.

I feel like a lot of the people feel entitled to your stories and feel entitled to get a certain ending because they read them and give them popularity ???? Like no baby nooo, Andy’s never cared about followers and popularity. You’ve always cared about writing down your ideas into a beautiful story and letting us see that. By sharing these stories with us you let us into your head. Not the other way around. AND you know what?!!! I’ve noticed it’s mainly all the Steve girlies that are salty af. DAMN they’re fucking mean😭😭 y’all got to fucking stop. So childish and for what?! (Although I have spotted a minimal amount of Eddie ones who need to chill tf down too) oh I saw another post that didn’t sit right with me either….Andy… it’s not your fault that some people cannot handle change. I cannot believe someone threw that at you. What are you supposed to do? Walk on egg shells around these people?!! YEAH NO BYE

I think the fact that you ask other people opinions is mainly to interact and discuss the story in a healthy manner. Not sway you and insult you? Like 😭😭 PLSSS you don’t deserve this. I hope this does not make you want to stop writing. You’re the most talented writer I’ve came across on this app. I’ve been here since the start. I haven’t had time with work and uni but you know I eat any of your stories up!!! I LOVE YA!🩷🩷🩷🩷 And if it were me I would write the most unpredictable ending just to spite everyone lol but that’s just me being mad for you atm lol 😈😈😈 but anyways!! DO YOUR THING!!!

-💃🏻💅🏻

hiii! thank you so much, love.

some of them really are rude, and yeah, unfortunately it's mostly the ones who demand a Steve ending. I get why they're upset about how the story evolved but I'll never get why they have to be so rude about it. It kills my motivation and the fun to continue this story.

I won't stop writing but it's definitely a buzzkill...

Thank you for being so kind 💕

also, an unpredictable ending? hmmm lemme think hehe

#andy’s asks #💃🏻💅🏻 anon

[bisluthq]

Idk if he was still fucking KN while talking to taylor because that rumour is from deuxmoi. I do think they kept hooking up from time to time after the breakup though so she was expecting them to get back together

yeah I’m not trusting deux I’m just trusting the fact that they were on/off towards the end and had gotten back together before so I think KN thought they’d get back together again and then like instead of doing that he got into the most like high profile relationship of all time lmao and I think she’s salty and I think she’s justified for being salty. Again, Taylor and Travis didn’t do anything wrong but like Kayla doesn’t have to like it lmao. It’d be weird af for his longterm gf to be a Taylor stan lmao like that’d be far weirder than her finding Taylor annoying af like 🤷🏻‍♀️🙈💀

[ysabelmystic]

Top 10 favorite junk foods? Oh wait, you’re American, right? Better make it top 20.

Unprovoked????? Like yeah I love my junk food but hey!

In no particular order:

1) French fries. Fucking love me some French fries. Honestly, best fries come from McDonald’s. They’re greasy as hell yet still crisp on the outside. And always properly salty (which is to say…extremely). Breakfast lunch dinner snack doesn’t matter. All hail the almighty French fry.

2) Donuts. I’ve never met a donut I didn’t like. There’s a donut place that’s right on my way to school and I stop there at least once a week. I buy a dozen on the first and last day of clinical rotations. The owner recognizes my car. I’m also making an 8 hour round trip for a specific apple cider donut.

3) Corndogs. Fresh out of the fryer corndogs. They’re delicious anyways but when you’re high af at 2 in the morning and you just walked 3 blocks to a Cook Out… that’s heaven.

4) Twix bars. I literally only buy them from vending machines because I cannot stop myself from eating a bag if I buy them in bulk. These are the candies I hand out first on Halloween because I know if I start snacking on one, chances are another 10 will vanish.

5) Pizza place/restaurant pizza. Deliciousness depends on the price and quality of the pizza. For example, Little Caesar’s is mid, but it’s cheaper and about the same level as papa John’s. This makes it superior to papa John’s. The best pizza (that I can access) is domino’s because they have a cheap coupon if you order from the app. The best pizza I’ve ever had came from a place in California called Klondikes. So. Much. Cheese. That is where pizza peaks.

6) Strawberry cake…but it’s gotta be from the local Italian place up the freeway. That cake hits different

7) Tropical Hi-chew. Blessed are the gas stations that are open at 2am and have tropical hi-chew.

8) Malted vanilla shake. It is vanilla (already the superior flavor), but yassified.

9) Taro boba milk tea. But specifically from this one place in my last town. I cannot find another that tastes quite like that.

10) Ig alcoholic drinks can count as junk food. There’s a drink called a liquid marijuana. It tastes like a pina colada but it’s liquid and it’s blue. It is basically straight liquor, but you literally cannot taste the alcohol, making them an extremely dangerous drink to order. But it is blue. And blue drink is blue drink. So…liquid marijuana.

11) Crème brûlée. I have access to this maybe once a year if I’m lucky. Idk it’s just fucking Good.

12) Tiramisu. Like with donuts, never met a tiramisu I didn’t like, and I’ve had it made in a lot of different creative ways. There’s an Italian place nearby that makes individual tiramisu cups, covers the top in a layer of frozen chocolate sauce, and adds little cookie balls. I think that’s my favorite.

13) Pound cake. Especially lemon pound cake. It doesn’t give you the sugar high of regular cake and it’s dense enough that a little slice can make a good midday or bedtime snack.

14) Buttermilk cookies. They’re pretty basic. Just soft and sweet. I need to make some…

15) Churros. Fresh, hot churros. An absolute god tier dessert.

16) Fried chicken. When it’s fried right and seasoned well, that shit Hits.

17) Boysenberry turnovers. I haven’t had one since I was in California but that is truly the height of berry-filled pastries. It doesn’t get better than that.

18) Peppernuts. My family always makes these between thanksgiving and Christmas. I like the “spicy” ones the best.

19) Bread pudding made with brioche. Don’t even serve it with syrup. Make whiskey sauce instead. That is the height of breakfast (as long as you can rest for an hour after).

20) Those Starbucks fruit refreshers (water, not lemonade base). I like to drink rainbow drinks it’s just how it is.

#ask

[rayofsunas]

s/o has freshly shaved legs. [2]

A/n: requested by anon, teehee. thank you!! also, not genshin related, but I just saw levi in the new season and whew, he could STILL get it if he asked :) also, to my readers out there, when I bring up “shoulder rides”, I know some some people may not feel comfortable with that (which is okay!), I didn’t type that to not include everyone, that’s why I wrote “he’s going to give you shoulder rides if you feel comfortable.” key word is comfortable, you guys can imagine this scene or not, it’s intended to not exclude anyone, despite size, etc. I only bring this up because I know a lot of readers may feel left out, but by insinuating comfortable, you’re free to imagine this or not! I hope I made sense/wasn’t rude <3 ;-; happy reading!!

Summary: s/o has freshly shaved legs.

Parings: Diluc/Reader, Xiao/Reader, Childe/Reader (all fem reader)

Warnings: swearing, nsfw themes implied, fluff?, crack

Word count: 1.5k

Diluc

Diluc is a pure GENTLEMAN, so he feels very guilty ogling at your legs

he’s drawn in because of how smooth and buttery (probably some lotion or oil he assumed) they look

eventually, after becoming embarrassed for staring, he’ll find the will to stop

after all, he’s a GENTLEMAN

but that doesn’t mean the thought of your legs leaves his mind, you’re dead fucking wrong

he can’t stop thinking about how soft they looked

if only he could reach out and touch you, just once, just for a second

goodness, he hates the way he feels and surprisingly, when Kaeya stops by the winery for his daily drink, diluc may or may not confide in his friend, brother, 

poor diluc, he’s too respectable and truly thinks it’s WRONG

“why can’t I stop staring at her legs?” he will mutter more to himself. “I feel disgusting.”

“well, she’s hot for one-”

poor Diluc, Kaeya is NO help, he only wants to flirt with you

Kaeya will continue to apologize and make cocky comments, but in the end he reassures it’s natural for lovers to feel this way

poor Diluc part 2

let's just say when he returns late in the dead of the night he refuses to even look at you

he’s so disturbed, poor boy, you’re probably his first s/o and he feels dirty for thinking lewdly about you from just seeing your thighs

he dips to your room so fast, he just wants to sleep it off

You were shocked, to say the least when he didn’t give you his usual hug and kiss on your cheek. Maybe he had a long day? That’s usually always the reason. But even then, before he retired for bed, he made sure to show some kind of affection. 

“Diluc, sweetheart, where are you going?” You called after him, ignoring how the servants kept trying to grab his jacket and hang it on one of the coat racks; he was having none of it.

“Bed.”

“Oh okay, wait, we can walk up together-” He was gone from sight. You sighed in annoyance, you disliked when he became distant. Nonetheless, you dismissed the three servants for the night and began traveling to your room.

Eventually, you arrived in your bedroom to find Diluc laying on the bed, clothes from today still on, as well as his boots. You clicked your tongue. Did he have to wear his boots in your bed? 

“Not even your boots are off?” You had said, shuffling around the bed to tug your lover's shoes off. He heard you grunt, seemingly having trouble with the simple task. 

In the meantime, he had taken notice of how you had shrugged off your robe and it was somewhere else in the room, leaving you only in a simple cotton nightgown. It wasn’t revealing at all, simple and classy how he liked it, but god damn it your legs were exposed.

A simple nightgown, that’s all it was, but why couldn’t it reach your ankles? No-he should not have such standards for you, especially when you’re comfortable. Why did he have to be so lewd...

“Was today a hard day? I didn’t see you after you left the winery earlier... Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” He huffed, you mocked him, sitting next to him on the bed, eyeing him carefully. You shifted and although it wasn’t meant to reveal any more skin, the movement had... 

“I’m not a very good mind reader, so you’re going to have to tell me if somethings wrong-”

“Please don’t sit like that...”

“Like what? This is a normal sitting position.”

“Yes but...” He’d huffed again. You knew Diluc well enough to know that he wouldn’t say anything else, it seemed he was already having trouble enough.

“Are you being a horndog?” 

“A what- I’m sorry who are you?” He teased, though utterly confused. “You’ve been hanging out with Aether too much.”

“It’s okay, I saw you staring earlier. I don’t mind.”

poor Diluc

Diluc.exe has stopped working

he can’t believe he was stupid enough to stare AND get caught doing so

you’ll simply just respond by saying, “It’s okay, Diluc. I don’t mind, it makes me feel attractive. At least I’m doing something right.”

lol, it doesn’t matter though, he’s a blushing mess 

all he can think is that he’s better than kaeya, he has standards for himself, staring at a woman's thighs is NOT respectable

even if you’re his fiancee

Xiao

says he doesn’t care when you show him how smooth your legs are

ARGUES and SASSES you when you say you know he’s entranced 

he continues to say no

well guess what, he’s a stone-cold liar

he’ll probably stare once or twice, but otherwise won’t let you distract him

instead, he’ll touch your legs in private (as long as it’s okay with you)

he claims he doesn’t care, but he enjoys how soft they are

like wow

never in his life did he think someone could be so soft

all he wants to do is touch your legs, but sadly he has his duties

I think he’d be the type to touch your calves when in bed (just laying, pls no sexy times)

like when you’re both getting ready for bed, he’ll guide your leg to lay over his waist so it’s sorta hooked around him, and he’ll just rub your calves pls

he likes giving you a massage, it's his way of showing physical affection

and although it does lull you to sleep, the gesture is also comforting for him too

he loves your soft legs

pls don’t ever stop shaving as long as you’re comfortable (he loves you with shaved legs or not)

he may or may not become a little baby if he can’t touch your soft legs

like he’s not gonna shed tears

but, he’s gonna be BITTER AF

SALTY, is the right word

You just wanted to get up to use the bathroom, hell you were gonna pee your pants. But Xiao would not let go. Unfortunately, he’s a light sleeper, so he felt you shifting in the bed when you went to get up. 

“Don’t leave.” He whispered. 

“I have to pee, Xiao.” You said, guiding his prying hands away from your leg. 

“Your legs, soft. Please sleep,” He muttered incoherently, smoothing a calloused palm over your thigh. 

You frowned at the black and teal haired man. “I’m legit going to pee myself if you don’t let go.”

He didn’t answer. In conclusion, he’d fallen back asleep.

Childe

you knew better than to wear skirts, dresses; anything that revealed your legs

or else you’d be the subject of your boyfriend’s comments and staring

this was your own doing, childe thought, your fault

when he’s caught staring by you or anyone, he doesn’t care

as long as you’re comfortable, he doesn’t care that he stares at your legs

some of the elders around Liyue Harbor will scold him for his rudeness, calling him inappropriate

they dislike him so much, not all, but a good handful

but he DOES NOT CARE 

as long as you’re comfortable, he’ll continue to stare as long as he’d like

yes, even if he’s a perverted horndog, he’s still a respectable perverted horndog, he’s going to make sure you’re okay with everything he does/says

pls, he’s going to give you shoulder rides if you feel comfortable, just to nuzzle his cheeks into your inner thighs

and he’ll run his hands over smooth knees

he LIVES for your smooth legs, also just wanna say he doesn’t mind if you haven’t shaved your legs either, you’re gorgeous either way 

he’s the ultimate horndog and does not try to hide it, like Diluc and Xiao

he’s like Kaeya, but let’s be real he’s not going to try and fit every flirtatious comment into EVERY sentence like him

he’s more of a physical guy ;)

he’s going to leave lingering touches on your legs, pinch them teasingly, do whatever as long as he gets to touch them

just gonna say this, but kisses on smooth thighs? muah, he does this and has zero shame

not even during sexy times, he’ll do it if he’s laying his head on your legs and they happen to be exposed

he does not care, he can do whatever he wants, this is his way of showing his affection towards you

“You’re going to suffocate! Get your head out from between my thighs,” You scolded the orange-haired man. He chuckled, giving you very nonchalant vibes.

It was getting harder and harder to ignore the passersby’s stares, why did they have to be so nosy? Well... this wasn’t necessarily something everyone wanted to see, even if it was entirely innocent, it did look highly inappropriate. 

“Plus we’re in public, Childe!” You noted. 

“Please, who cares!” He taunted, nuzzling his head even further. Your face flushed hot. 

“Your legs are soft.”

“Yes, but do you have to do it like that? This looks wrong-”

As I said, he does not care!!

2.4.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin imagines #genshin scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #diluc #diluc x reader #xiao #xiao x reader #childe #childe x reader

[uwuwriting]

Boyfriend w/ Megumi, Itadori and Gojo

Request: hii I just read your jujutsu nightmares piece and oh my god I am indeed a very simple simp and your writing just makes my heart go uwu so may I maybe req a very soft, fluffy s/o for Megumi, Itadori Sato and maybe Sukuna if you write for him? I hope it's not too much, thank uu <3 - anonymous

I can’t get enough of the JJK content, I love them so much my heart can’t take it. Sadly I don’t write for Sukuna *I think I mention it in my rules but I’m not sure*, he pissed me off big time in the manga so yeah sorry about that. Really all the curses have kinda pissed me off but that’s a story for another day lmao. Love ya.💖💖💖

masterlist II rules

warnings: boyfriend things lol, fluff, maybe some angst sprinkled on top but not a lot. 

Fushiguro Megumi 

-Megumi reminds me of Suna from Haikyuu. 

-Like a lot. 

-He will put effort in the relationship of course but he won’t flaunt it around in everybody’s faces. 

-Yes he has a s/o and yes he is in love but in his book that should be mostly kept in between you two, no one else has to know. 

-So at first your relationship isn’t really acknowledged by the others. 

-It’s so subtle at casual that everyone around you thinks that you’re merely best friends and close to each other. 

-Only Makki knows that you two are a thing since she sees how you worry and take care of him after he has been injured. 

-It’s different from platonic concern and she knows what’s going on. 

-Plus she saw you steal a kiss one time and that sealed the deal. 

-Eventually the others figure it out and they are losing their shit, for completely different reasons though. 

-Nobara can’t believe Megumi got a s/o before she did. 

-Gojo is hurt because neither of you said anything and he has been trying to hook you up for the past two years now. 

-Itadori is just confused because he thought that you were like that to everyone. 

-Now PDA is non-existent with this one. 

-He doesn’t feel comfortable touching you in public even if it’s a small peck. 

-He prefers showing his love behind closed doors or through acts of service. 

-So expect to find multiple bentos waiting for you in the kitchen each morning or a hot bath on the ready when you come back from a long mission. 

-You are okay with the no PDA rule, your only request is that he at least hold your pinkie when you need it. 

-It grounds you and who is he to say no to that?

-During missions he doesn’t underestimate your strength and let’s you do your thing. 

-He only interferes when you ask for help or when he notices that you’re extremely overwhelmed. 

-He doesn’t smother you and you are eternally grateful for that. 

-Training sessions between the both of you are brutal. 

-Neither holds back and you're left a panting, sweating mess at the end, crawling to your respective rooms to change before you settle for a movie later that afternoon.

-If either of you gets injured it’s mama bear time. 

-You need to change your bandages? Megumi has already taken out the kit and all the essentials. 

-He needs to take some meds to calm the pain in his ribcage? You have the pills in hand. 

-He is a shy boy so even in private he hesitates to touch you. 

-Don’t get him wrong he loves holding you and feeling you close to him but he is also afraid he will make you uncomfortable or overstep. 

-So you will be the one initiating cuddle session during the first months of your relationship. 

-After a while he will simply pick you up and carry you to his bed for cuddles if he needs them without uttering a word the whole time. 

-Good morning/Goodnight kisses are a must. 

-It’s a ground rule that he follows religiously since day one. 

-It doesn’t matter if it’s a simple peck on his lips or a passionate kiss, he just wants to get a kiss before starting/ending the day. 

-Sleeps on his stomach with an arm always draped over your waist. 

-Isn’t really into the whole sleeping on each other thing but he won’t say no to being the big spoon or even better the little spoon. 

-He gets flustered when you kiss his knuckles or trace patterns on his palms. 

-He knows his hands are rough from all the training but after your touch they feel tender and gentle. 

-Prefers indoor dates rather than outdoor ones. 

-His favorite  is cooking dinner together and then cuddling on the couch *in hopes you won’t get interrupted by Gojo*.

-The only thing he dislikes about the whole relationship thing is the teasing he receives from Gojo. 

-He is ready to rip his ears off. 

-Boy has murder on his mind 24/7 and it is all directed to his mentor.

-Gojo noticed that Megumi had you as his wallpaper ONCE and now it’s game over for your boyfriend. 

-The thing is that you don’t get teased as much and he is *salty*. 

Itadori Yuuji

-He is such a lovable boy, how could you NOT fall in love with him?

-Your relationship is naturally effortless. 

-Everything flows so naturally and without even trying you two have formed such an unbreakable bond that not even Sukuna himself can tether even if he tried. 

-Many MANY spontaneous trips to the nearest convenience store at 3 am.

-Oh you are craving some popcorn? Well go on, get your shoes, we are going grocery shopping. 

-Won’t hesitate to do anything for you and when I say anything I mean it. 

-He ditched Gojo once because you had bad period pains and said you needed cuddles. 

-What cruel creature would he be if he denied his beautiful girlfriend her cuddles??? 

-Sukuna has cockblocked you two and has ruined your cuddles on multiple occasions. 

-From weird noises to rude comments to interrupting Yuuji’s thoughts with random shit. 

-Real party crasher. 

-Yuuji’s love language is touch mainly so expect a shit load of hugs and kisses. 

-Won’t let go of your hand while you are out in public. 

-If he can’t hold your hand he will place his palm in the small of your back or wrap his arm around your shoulders/waist. 

-It’s a physical need. 

-He has to be touching you at all times because that reminds him that you are truly here beside him and that you are okay. 

-The sorcerer's life has already taken a toll on his mentality and he hates leaving you alone so most of the time you go on conjoined missions. 

-Unlike Megumi he tries to protect you during fights by all means. 

-He doesn’t do it because he sees you as weak and in need of protection it’s just an instinct that he can’t control at all. 

-He will put himself in immense danger, taking all the blows just so you can leave the scene unscathed. 

-You have scolded him on his complete disregard of his own life and the tears that pooled in his eyes as he explained that his body moves on its own when he sees anything darting towards you, breaks your heart. 

-If you kiss the little marks under his eyes all his worries fly out the nearest window. 

-He forgets about everything around him, about the looming threat of his imminent execution, the only thing on his mind are your lips on his cheekbones and your thumbs rubbing circles on his cheeks. 

-If you pepper him in too many kisses he will begin his own assault by first tackling you to the floor or the bed and capturing you in a hug before the smooches begin. 

-He has a tendency to leave hickies on your neck which you struggle to cover each morning and you are always real close to glaring at him when he beams like the sun itself at you in the morning but your mild anger fades the moment his lips meet yours. 

-You have your suspicions that he knows what he is doing with that, he knows his kisses make you weak so he uses them to his advantage. 

-Will never admit it but it always places a small smirk on his lips every time you clutch his shirt for balance or rest your forehead on his shoulder to regain your composure. 

-An I love you a day is required for good vibes. 

-Won’t hesitate to shout it even in front of others, he just has no filter and no shame. 

-Makes you turn tomato red and he snickers. 

-Fuck him, literally. 

Gojo Satoru

-This fucking tease. 

-He has no chill!!!!!!

-How are you with him?!?!?!?!!

-My man fine af and he drinks his respect for y/n and y/n alone juice every morning. 

-That doesn’t mean though he won’t try to fluster you throughout the day. 

-It’s his main goal really. 

-Full blown make out sessions in the hallways of the school, ass smacks in front of others and trying to leave hickies on your neck during your lunch break. 

-It simultaneously pisses you off and turns you on so you can’t decide if you should smack him or jump his bones. 

-It’s a never ending debate and his chances of getting the quawk quawk 5000 are 50/50. 

-He respects your boundaries when you give him a sign that you really don’t want him to be like that on certain days. 

-He is a very observant individual in general so it’s not hard for him to take note of the signs of pure discomfort or awkwardness. 

-True he loves flustering you but the moment things get out of hand and you don’t feel okay with how he is acting, he is throwing his attitude out the window and becomes respectful Gojo in a flash. 

-Likes having his arm draped over your shoulder. 

-He is super tall so chances are he towers over you. 

-He has used you like an armrest several times which resulted to a trip to Shoko for a dislocated wrist/shoulder. 

-You make him bentos almost everyday and he waits for them like a lost puppy. 

-No matter the time, he doesn’t care if he is late, he will wait for you to make him a little bento to take with him. 

-Curses can wait, he needs to receive his first dose of y/n love of the day. 

-Brags to his student about you and to Nanami, much to the blonde’s dismay. 

-Talks everyone’s ear off. 

-He becomes super protective when an elder shows up or at the mere mention of them. 

-He will grasp your hand, keeping a firm grip as those pretentious fucks stare down at you. 

-They really don’t care about Sato’s happiness and they will never show you a fiber of respect despite being chosen by the strongest sorcerer. 

-You are not part of one of the three clans so you are worth nothing in their eyes. 

-Gojo hates them for that. 

-Deep rooted hatred that could turn into a mass murder if one of them call you a distraction or a slut one more time. 

-You are really grateful for him in those moments. 

-You are grateful in general but during those times when you are being bombared left and right with rude comments, he will remind everyone in the room that he doesn’t give a flying fuck about what they believe. 

-He fell in love with you because you are your beautiful self and not because you are a powerful sorcerer. 

-He wants to imagine your kids as a sign of your love and not as an item of power, as a weapon like many of these people see him. 

-He has ditched the elder meetings on many occasions just because he wasn’t in the mood of listening to their bullshit so he came home to you and spent the rest of his night cuddled up under the large comforter, watching a movie while peppering your shoulders with kisses. 

-Adores seeing you in his clothes. 

-They are so big on you that you wear them as dresses around the house. 

-He especially loves the sight of your bare legs peeking from underneath his black t-shirt. 

-99% of the time this ends up in you getting your guts rearranged. 

-Surprisingly remembers all the important dates and he makes it to as many dates as he can. 

-Being a sorcerer is difficult man, give him a break curses he has a date at 8 and he needs to get his formal glasses. 

-All in all he loves you to the moon and back and would do anything to keep you safe and next to him. 

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