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justagalwhowrites · 5 days

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Yearling - Ch. 34: Anything

You're left behind in Jackson when Joel goes on overnight patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-33 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. Smut :). No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only

Length: 9.2k

A/N: We are heading into the final arc of Yearling and we are going to see some TLOU 2 OVERLAP again. There isn't any this chapter but there will be in this arc and here's how: a character from that game will be mentioned as will the spoiler-y incident from a few chapters ago. What happens plot wise in this arc is completely separate from the game and entirely original content BUT there is that character overlap and more specific mentions of the incident and the motives behind it. If you're trying to go in blind to season 2, it might be wise to step back. Feel free to send me a DM, I'm happy to answer any and all questions!

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter

September, 2013

The gunshot made you jump.

It was distant but sharp, the crack jarring against the quiet of your cabin. Marisa’s head shot up from her book, a frown on her face in the flickering firelight.

“Was that…”

“Shhh,” you sat up from where you’d been lying against her, held a hand out to her, ear perked and listening. Another crack, a little louder this time. You set your book down and went to the front window, drawing the curtains and pinning them shut so no light from the fire would slip through.

“What…”

“Stay here,” you said, your heart pounding as you got your rifle off the wall.

“You’re not going out there!” She shot up, her eyes wide.

“Not gonna sit here and wait for whoever that is to show up at our door,” you replied, grabbing a flashlight, too.

“Well, I’m going with you,” she said, going to get her gun, too.

“No,” you said, grabbing a saddle bag with ammunition and turning to face her.

“Yes, I am,” she narrowed her eyes at you but there was a tremble of fear in her voice, her rifle clutched tightly in her hand.

“No,” you said quietly, reaching out and gently taking her face in your hand. “You’re not. You’re staying here to look after Savannah…”

“But what if something happens to you?” Her eyes searched yours, wide and frantic. “You’re her mom, not me. I can’t be that for her like that, just… stay here, we’ll figure it out if they find us just…”

“Not lettin’ them that close to the two of you, baby,” you said, brushing your thumb over the arch of her cheekbone. You kissed her gently. Her eyes were wet. “I’ll be back soon. But… if I’m not, take care of Savannah for me.”

You didn’t wait for a response, going to jump on Nike, not bothering with a saddle. You were too afraid to take the time, you had to protect the people who had become your home. You couldn’t lose them, you couldn’t let anyone take them away, you had to make sure they were safe.

There was another gunshot and you followed the sound, your heart racing, eventually finding a man with two infected nearly ripping him apart. You shot them quickly, the man’s fearful gasps loud in the night.

“Fuck,” he panted as you turned on the flashlight, shining it around the nearby forest. You caught a glimpse of another infected on the ground about 20 feet away before turning the light on him. He was limp on the ground, his eyes wide. “I think I’m bit, I think… I think they got me.”

You knelt beside him and looked at his exposed skin. There was a vicious bite on his hand, the flesh already looking sick and wrong and so like Justin’s bite all those years ago.

You sighed.

“Yeah, you are. I can make it quick for you, if you’d like. Can’t let you leave here, though. You can wait ’til you turn, if you’d rather.”

He blinked a few times, staring up at the dark canopy of trees as moonlight filtered through the leaves.

“Just do it,” he said, turning his eyes to you, cocking his head slightly. “Is it just you out here?”

“Kind of,” you said. “Got my girlfriend, my daughter. No one else, though.”

He looked back to the sky and nodded.

“That’s good,” he said. “It’s hard, being alone. Been alone for a few months now, wife got bit back in June. Should’ve just ended it then, don’t know why I waited this long.”

You nodded slowly. You understood that. You stood up again, rifle in your hand. The man’s eyes were still wide, looking up at the trees.

“Here OK?” You asked. “Might be able to get you somewhere you can see the sky…”

“No point,” he said, still staring up. “Just do it.”

His eyes refocused, looking at you.

“And thank you. Know it’s not easy.”

You aimed the gun at his head and he went back to looking at the trees.

“I’m sorry it’s endin’ like this,” you said. “Hope you get to be with your wife again.”

“Yeah,” he whispered. “Me too.”

You took a deep breath, pulled the trigger and he was gone.

You stayed for a little while after, waiting to see if there were any clickers that would come for the noise you’d been making but none showed up. You realized you didn’t even know the man’s name. You were the last person he spoke to and you didn’t know his name.

You cleaned the blood off your hands as best you could and made your way back home, Nike moving slowly through the trees and you didn’t rush her. When you opened the door, Marisa damn near knocked you down, you barely catching her as she threw herself at you.

“You’re OK,” her voice was thick and wet and she clung to you for a moment before pulling back to look in your eyes. “I was so scared, I heard more gunshots, I didn’t know…”

“I’m sorry, baby,” you said gently, kissing her, her lips plush and soft on yours. “Didn’t mean to scare you…”

You got cleaned up and took her to bed and made her come on your fingers before she had to swallow the desperate sounds of your orgasm to keep from waking the baby. You held her close after, telling her what happened in the forest, that you’d go bury the body in the morning and do a check for infected, that she was safe here with you.

“I think you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met,” she said quietly, toying with your fingers, her breath warm on your skin as she lay her head on your chest.

You scoffed.

“Don’t feel very brave. I was scared shitless the whole time, thought my damn heart was going to beat out of my chest.”

“Oh baby,” she whispered, adjusting so her face was over yours, the light of the moon making her dark skin glow. “That’s what makes you brave, that you’re scared and you do it anyway. You don’t let the fear own you. That’s why you’re going to make it through all this, I just know it.”

You hummed, not really agreeing or disagreeing, just wanting her close again. She rested her head on your chest again and you gave her a squeeze, focusing on how she felt against you as she fell asleep.

It didn’t really matter if it was bravery or not, you supposed. If it kept the people you loved most alive, you could push past the fear. Life wouldn’t matter without them, you would do anything if it meant it would protect them.

Anything.

May, 2028

“No way.”

You cleaned the last of the gunk out from Shimmer’s back left hoof and set the pick down.

“Bambi,” Ellie drew out your hame, whining it. “Please? I swear, I’ll owe you forever…”

“I am not coming out to your dad for you,” you grabbed the file. “Absolutely not.”

“But…”

“Ellie,” you looked up to her as she perched on a stall in the barn. “No. That’s not something you just do for someone else. If you want Joel to know you’re gay you need to be the one to tell him, I can’t do that for you.”

“But why not!” She pouted. “You already know and you get it and you can help him get it and…”

“I’ll help you do it,” you cut her off. “I can be there when you tell him, I can intervene if he reacts badly - which he won’t - but I’m not doing it for you.”

“That’s bullshit,” she huffed. “I don’t want to tell him…”

“Then don’t,” you shrugged, finishing filing the hoof down and getting the next horseshoe ready to go on. “Live the rest of your life in the closet if that’s what you want to do.”

“But that’s not what I want.”

“Then tell him,” you shrugged again. “Those are your options, kiddo, hate to break it to you.”

“You know, straight people don’t have to come out,” she kicked at the stall post. “This is dumb.”

“That I can agree with,” you said. “But, unfortunately, that’s not the way the world works. If you want to be out, you need to come out. It sucks but that’s the way of things.”

Ellie sighed and crossed her arms, leaning her head on the post at her back.

“Do you really think I should?” She asked.

You shrugged.

“I think you have a father who loves you more than life itself,” you said. “And I think he’s also a man who has proven that he really does not care what a person’s sexuality is, given that he’s married to me. I think you should do what feels right but you should know that Joel is going to love you to pieces regardless.”

She sighed again.

“You’re right…”

“Usually am.”

She glared at you before going back to staring straight ahead.

“I just don’t know why I’m so freaked out about it.”

You shrugged.

“It’s a big deal. You’re telling him ‘hey this person you think I am? I’m actually different than that.’ It’s hard.”

She considered you for a moment.

“Did you come out to your parents?” She asked.

You laughed.

“No, I did not,” you said. “Never had the chance. I would have eventually, I think. But I was about your age when the world ended and it felt a lot safer to hide it from my parents when I was that age. I lived far away and they weren’t as… open to other ideas as Joel is.”

Ellie scoffed.

“I mean it,” you said. “They had a hard enough time handling the fact that I wanted to get thrown off horses for a living. They’d have had a hell of a time understanding why I was bringing a girl home for dinner. You know Joel ain’t that way. All he cares about is that you’re safe and happy. Everything else don’t really matter.”

You finished shoeing Shimmer and set her hoof down. She twitched her tail and chuffed in response.

“Can you at least tell Joel you gave me…” She scrunched her nose in disgust. “The talk?”

You laughed a little.

“Yeah, that I can do,” you said. “I’ll tell him I told you everything you need to know. Which is be smart about who you take your clothes off with and if a man ever tries anything, cut his dick off.”

She barked a laugh.

“Yeah, that I can handle,” she said. “I can’t believe he thought someone needed to talk to me about sex…”

You were less surprised about that fact than Ellie, but then, you had the full context.

You’d been watching Savvy and Kyle from what you hoped was a respectful distance, giving her the chance to fall for a boy in the way you always wanted her to be able to. But there was the other part of that, too. You knew what teenagers were like and, while Savvy knew about sex, you’d never given her the sex talk in the context of her being around boys. She had questions about seeing animals mating when she was a girl and you’d answered them and explained that humans worked much the same way. She’d scrunched her face in disgust and you laughed a little, not bothering to tell her that, one day, that was going to be damn near all she was interested in doing.

But that had come with the knowledge that, in all likelihood, it would be years - if not decades - before she even had the opportunity to find someone she wanted to do that with. You figured you’d update things as she got older or when there was a person she was interested in.

Now, the time had come. You just weren’t sure how ready you were for that. You’d gone to Joel for advice about it, feeling like you were flying particularly blind in this arena.

“Shit, baby, been a long time since I’ve had that conversation,” he said as he traced abstract little patterns over your bare skin. “Tryin’ to even remember how I brought it up with Sarah now… My face was burnin’ up the whole time, that much I know.”

“There were perks to being hermits,” you sighed, pressing yourself closer to him. “Didn’t have to worry about my kid getting knocked up as a teenager for one.”

“Mmm,” Joel hummed in agreement. “Least she has boys to flirt with now.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing,” you muttered but smiled against his skin all the same.

“I can talk to her with you if you think it’ll help,” he said.

“Let me give it a shot on my own,” you sighed. “See if she will actually listen to me. If she doesn’t, I’ll call in the reinforcements.”

Savvy had, mercifully, been at least open to the conversation.

“I already know this stuff, Mom,” she’d rolled her eyes, arms crossed as she sat on the couch.

“You know the biology of it,” you said. “But it’s… different. You’re older now, there are going to be feelings you have that you want to act on…”

“Ugh!” She buried her face in the arm of the couch. “Please don’t!”

“You’re young,” you said. “Too young to really understand the risks. Do you feel like you’re ready to raise a child?”

“No!” She pulled her head up. “Obviously not!”

“Then you shouldn’t be having sex right now,” you shrugged. “That’s the risk. Not to mention that there are a lot of emotions that come up when you do that with someone, it can complicate relationships and you’re too young to figure that out on your own…”

“I’m not a baby,” she practically scowled at you. “I can handle emotions!”

“I’m not saying you can’t,” you said gently. “I’m saying that adult relationships are complicated for adults and, as grown up as you might think you are, you’re still a kid. I understand that you might want to feel close with someone and, honestly, there’s not much I can do to stop you. But I want you to understand what you’re risking if you go that route and I want you to not let anyone pressure you into it, even if it’s someone you care about. OK?”

“Alright, jeez!” She groaned. “Can we stop talking now? Please?”

After that conversation, though, Joel became worried about how much time Ellie was spending with Jesse.

“Never really thought about what she did or didn’t learn in the QZ,” Joel said gruffly that night when it was just the two of you. “What if she don’t know how to keep herself safe?”

“I don’t think you have much to worry about,” you said, trying to avoid telling Joel exactly why he didn’t need to worry.

“Would you be OK talkin’ with her for me?” He’d winced as he asked it. “Feel like you’re her mom, think she’d be a little more… receptive to it coming from another woman.”

You’d said yes more to buy time than anything else.

You weren’t thrilled about the idea of lying to your husband but you could tap dance around the truth of it well enough. At least, that’s what you were telling yourself.

“While you’re trying to decide whether or not you want to tell your dad,” you said, getting up to lead Shimmer to her stall. “Think I’m going to call in that favor you owe me…”

“What favor?” She demanded. “You’re not telling him for me!”

“No,” you shook your head. “But I’m also not telling him that I didn’t give you the talk and he needs to do it himself…”

“Jesus…”

“So,” you continued. “Can I ask you to keep a closer eye on Savvy while Joel is out on patrol the next few days? She’s still… more comfortable talking with him than with me. Want to make sure she’s doin’ OK…”

“Of course I will,” she said, relaxing a little. “You know, I still think…”

“Ellie.”

“I’m just saying!” She said. “I know she’s doing her best to move past shit, she really is, but it would be a lot easier if she knew what she was actually moving past, that’s all I’m saying.”

“She’s getting there,” you said, giving Shimmer a scratch. “You don’t understand this yet but it’s hard when you know you can’t protect your child from everything. I can protect her from this.”

“Whatever you say,” she rolled her eyes. “I’m going to the mess hall. As far as Joel knows, you’ve talked to me, right?”

“Right,” you said. “Feel free to act all awkward and lay it on real thick…”

“Alright, bye,” she rolled her eyes and stalked off and you laughed, watching her leave.

It was good to see Ellie acting like she normally did. You knew she was worried about Joel going out on a longer patrol, too.

You were trying not to panic about it. It was time. Consciously, you knew that. He was ready for it, his body as healed as it would ever be. He still had a bit of a limp - one you knew he tried to disguise when he thought you were watching - but he was fully capable. You’d seen it on patrol with him the two times you’d gone, the second one thankfully far less eventful than the first.

He’d since gone out just him and Tommy, never going too far from Jackson. It still made you nervous, even though he always came back whole and well. You always clung to him when he got back and he let you, holding you against him, a hand running soothingly up and down your spine as he did.

But this was his first overnight patrol. He was going to be gone for a few days on a route that had been calm lately, you knew you didn’t have much reason to worry. That didn’t make it much easier.

“What’s got those wheels turnin’?”

Joel’s voice made you jump as you brushed Shimmer down in her stall. He was leaning against the entrance to the stable, arms crossed over his broad chest as he watched you, his denim shirt rolled up to his elbows.

“Who said they were?” You asked, giving the horse a final brush before leaving the stall and walking up to your husband, your own arms crossed over your chest. He smiled and quirked his jaw, shaking his head ever so slightly. “What brings you here, cowboy?”

“Tryin’ to get my wife all to myself for a bit,” he said. “Think I can entice you away from the mess hall for the evening?”

“I dunno,” you stepped closer. “What’d you have in mind?”

He shrugged.

“Just have to see.”

You laughed, dropping your arms and the pretense.

“Lead the way.”

He draped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you in to kiss your temple before walking slowly back to your house. When you stopped to think about it, it still struck you as funny that it was your house and that you thought of it that way and not as Joel’s place. But you did, it was the place you’d made your life together, feeling more like you belonged here than you had almost anywhere else you had ever lived.

When you got in the door, there was a small bouquet of wildflowers in a glass in the middle of the kitchen table, a table that was set for dinner for two. You looked at him, brows raised in surprise.

“What’s this?”

He shrugged, a sly smile on his face.

“Wanted a night in with my girl. Might have talked my way into a steak or two. Think you take yours… medium rare, right?”

“Yeah,” you laughed. “I do.”

“Well,” he pulled you in for a long, deep kiss. “Why don’t you go get cleaned up and when you’re done, there’ll be a medium-rare steak waitin’ here for ya.”

“Think I can be convinced,” you smiled against his mouth before kissing him again. “Feel like you’re butterin’ me up or something here…”

“Just tryin’ to make sure you remember why you’re married to me while I’m gone,” he said. “Try to keep you from getting too fed up with my shit…” You laughed and he smiled. “Go on so I can get this going, you’re too distracting standing this close.”

You rolled your eyes but obeyed, going to shower and, instead of putting on jeans or sweats after, finding one of the dresses in your closet, one that Joel had never seen you in. You got your wet hair out of the way and went downstairs again, strangely aware of how the dress hugged your curves.

Joel’s back was to you when you came in but the plates were on the table, steak and green beans and a pile of fresh potato chips on each one.

“Are you kidding me?” You gaped at them. “You realize we’re already married, right? You don’t have to try this hard.”

“Like tryin’ hard for you,” he turned around, glasses in hand, and his mouth fell open, blinking a few times in surprise. “Hot damn, baby…”

“Shocking, know,” you smirked.

“I ever tell you you’re the most beautiful goddamn thing I’ve ever seen?” He asked, setting a glass down at your place. “Now, let me feed you before I change my mind and try to pull that dress off right here in the kitchen.”

Joel really did grill a mean steak. He’d even made the two of you whiskey cocktails with a recipe he’d gotten from Julie and, by the time dinner was done, you were pleasantly tipsy and full.

“Where did you get the flowers?” You asked, trailing your fingertips over the tiny white blooms.

“Might have gone outside for a bit,” he winced a little. You raised your eyebrows. “Not far, the kids in town sneak out that way all the time…”

“Wait, what?” You gaped at him, practically jumping out of your seat.

“Not Savvy and not Ellie,” he said quickly and you settled. “Made sure they know better. But lot of the other kids do. S’pretty out that way, have to take you sometime. Still owe you a trip to the lake. But, in the mean time…” he got up and offered you his hand, pulling you to your feet. “I’ve got someplace to take you tonight.”

He led you to the living room, a nest of pillows and blankets and sleeping bags set up in front of the TV.

“Just one second…” he turned the TV on, the opening sepia toned shot from Titanic on the screen.

“Joel!” You gasped. “Where’d you even get this?”

“Asked around,” he smiled. “Would’ve gone and hunted it down just to see you get all excited though.”

You elbowed him lightly in the side and he laughed as the two of you settled into the pile on the floor, you in Joel’s arms with your head on his chest as his fingers trailed up and down the bare skin of your arm.

The movie was just as good as the last time you’d seen it with Joel. Better, really, because you got to watch it pressed completely against his broad, strong body. But you could only really pay attention so long, twisting in his hold so you were looking at him and not the screen.

“Know it ain’t exactly a date like before,” he said softly. “But… I do OK?”

“Oh you blew past OK a while ago,” you laughed a little and he smiled. “This was… thank you, Joel.”

“Course, baby,” he trailed his fingers over the outline of your face. “Gonna miss you when I’m out there.”

“You could just not go,” you said. “Don’t think anyone’s holdin’ a gun to your head about it…”

He laughed once, softly.

“I know,” he said. “But… I do appreciate you lettin’ me go. I know it ain’t easy for you. Don’t blame you for it. But I’m feeling a lot more like myself since I’ve been patrollin’ again. I feel useful. I missed it. Thank you for letting me find that again.”

Your eyes searched his. You couldn’t really argue that with him, not when he was being so damn open and honest about it.

“Just need you to come home to me,” you said quietly. “You can have and do whatever you want, long as you come home.”

“Long as you’re here to come home to?” He said. “I’m comin’ home. Every time.”

He kissed you, gentle at first but deepening, until he was shoving your skirt around your waist and pulling your underwear down your legs. He sank into you, slow and firm, his breaths heavy and hot on your skin. You sank your fingers into is skin, holding him close and tight and the worries you had about clutching onto him too hard were far away.

Joel kept his pace, his body so large and strong on top of and inside of yours. You could feel his heartbeat, his eyes locked on your own and you focused on how close he was to you, how you knew he was safe and whole like this. How you knew he wouldn’t lie to you, that he would do everything to come back home to you. Your body got tight and needy, the heat inside you pulling into the center of you and burning hotter and brighter with every desperate stroke.

“You’re gettin’ close baby,” he pressed his mouth into your throat, nipping at the tender flesh there before soothing it with a brush of his tongue and a kiss. “Want you to come for me. Love makin’ you feel good, fuckin’ live for it…”

“Promise it’s not the last time,” your voice was tight, too, the intensity of your orgasm crashing into the fear that you couldn’t seem to shake.

“Promise,” he pulled back from you enough to look in your eyes again, his large hand coming to cradle the crown of your head. “Nothing’s keepin’ me from you, baby, nothin’, it’s OK, it’ll be OK, promise it will…”

Your back arched, last ounces of tension gripping you for a moment before releasing in a forceful, desperate wave.

“Fuck, there you are,” Joel panted, fucking you through it, never easing, chasing his own orgasm through yours. “Feel so good, so goddamn good, fuck, that’s it, keep comin’ for me, know you can…”

As your own orgasm started to ease, his took hold, pressing himself deep inside and emptying himself into you there.

Joel pulled himself from your fucked out body with a groan and collapsed beside you, immediately pulling you tightly to him as you gasped short, shaky breaths.

“You’re OK,” he said gently, still breathing heavy himself. “I’ve got you, s’alright…”

You buried your face in his neck and fought to catch your breath, focusing on his scent and the feel of him against your skin.

“I’m sorry,” you said eventually. “I thought I was stronger than this but ever since… I can’t stop thinking about how close I came to never seeing you again and I just…”

“I know,” he said gently, pulling away from you enough that you could see his face. “I know how you’re feeling. I feel it, too. But I need you to know that I mean it when I say I’m comin’ back. I am, baby.”

You just nodded and focused on the feeling of him tracing the outline of your face in the dim light of the TV, his body close beside your own. He pressed a soft kiss into your lips, holding you closer as he did and staying close after he pulled away, so close that his nose brushed yours. You stayed like that, not bothering to turn to watch the movie let alone put in the second tape when the first one ended. Instead, you just memorized how he felt against you, how his eyes looked into your own, how his fingers found their familiar paths along your skin.

You weren’t sure when you fell asleep but you were still entangled with him in the morning, his forehead against yours, his breaths easy and deep in sleep. You ran your fingers through his graying curls and his face tensed a little in his sleep before he adjusted, sliding down your body to bury his face against your chest. You just stroked his hair and held him there, the early morning light becoming pink with the sun.

When you couldn’t avoid it any longer, you woke him reluctantly and the two of you made your way to the stables, your body tucked against his. He gave you a squeeze before separating from you, the two of you working together to get the horses ready to head out on patrol. You walked with the patrol to the front gate, Joel leading his horse by the reins instead of riding him so he could hold your hand on the way.

“Be safe,” you said quietly as he faced you, every other horse on the other side of the wall now.

“Promise,” he said gently, his large hand going to the back of your neck and holding you at just the right angle to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “Take care of yourself and our girls. Gimme somethin’ to come home to, OK?”

You smiled a little. Like something was going to happen in Jackson.

“Promise.”

You watched the patrol leave until they were out of sight, trying to calm the thudding of your heart as you headed for the stable to get started on all the work for the day.

You’d purposely set yourself up for a busy few days with Joel gone. If you were occupied, your mind couldn’t wander. So you focused on training horses.

It was the hardest part of your job but also the part you liked the most. You had to concentrate on it otherwise you’d get thrown. The horse could always tell when you were distracted, if you gave them an inch they would take a mile at this stage.

You were finally thinking about finishing up for the day, the sun low in the sky and your back sore after getting nearly thrown off a horse more times than you cared to count when Ellie and Savvy wandered into the stable, giggling to each other as they made their way over to you.

You took a moment to fully appreciate what they were to each other. You’d always felt bad for Savvy, having just you in the world, no one closer to her own age to bond with. Now, she and Ellie were attached at the hip, sharing the kind of bond you’d always longed to have with the sister who had never materialized, no matter how much you begged your parents for one. Both of them meant so much to you, the whole of the future wrapped up in them. You had survived a lot to get to this point, horrors you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy, but you’d do it all again to see these two girls find sisterhood in each other. Conspiratorial whispers and knowing laughs and deep love was everything you wanted for your daughter and she had found it here.

“Terrified to know what this is about,” you half smiled as they walked over..

“Why does it have to be about something?” Ellie rolled her eyes. “What if we just wanted to come say hi.”

“Because I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two stop by to just say hi,” you said. “So that would be highly suspect. What do you want?”

“Can we go spend the night at Dina’s?” Savvy asked, the words all spilling out of her at once. “I promise we’ll behave and…”

“Dina’s?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at Ellie.

“Yeah, my friend Dina’s,” she gave you a firm look as she said it.

“And what will you be doing at Dina’s?” You asked, turning your attention back to Savvy.

“Just hanging out with some friends,” she said.

“Any boys?” You asked.

“No,” Ellie said quickly. “Mostly some of the girls who just finished up school and the girls who are about Savvy’s age, nothing crazy…”

“Please Mom?” Savvy interrupted her. “It’s going to be so fun and I haven’t done anything like this before but I’ve read about it and it sounds so cool and I really want to go and…”

“And Dina’s sister will be there?” You asked Ellie, who perked up at the question.

“Yeah,” Ellie said. “And she doesn’t let Dina get away with shit…”

“You do realize that you’re 18 and I can’t do a damn thing to stop you, right?” You said to Ellie. “Adults don’t need to ask their moms for permission.”

“I know,” Ellie said. “But so is Dina. And it’ll be more fun if Savvy can go. I’ll keep an eye on her, I promise.”

You looked between them, Savvy looking more happy and open with you than she had in months, so like how she used to look at you when asking for something when she was small. Her eyes were so wide and hopeful and you couldn’t say no, not when she was looking at you like that.

“Alright,” you sighed. Savvy squealed. “But you have to behave. Savvy, no drinking. If there are boys, you come home. No doin’ stupid shit like climbing buildings…”

“Oh that was like one time!” Ellie protested but you silenced her with a look.

“And I expect everything to stay PG,” you finished.

Ellie frowned.

“What the fuck does PG mean?”

You shook your head a little, some things still surprising you about how different the world was, even after all these years.

“It’s a saying from before,” you said. “Means make sure whatever you do, it’s family friendly. That means if you say you and Dina are friends, you act like friends.”

“We are friends,” Ellie rolled her eyes.

“Oh sure,” Savvy drew out the last word, laughing. “I always want to kiss my friends…”

Ellie elbowed her and she laughed harder before quieting down.

“We won’t cause any trouble,” Ellie said. “Promise.”

“You two have fun,” you said. “And come by the stable in the morning so I know you’re still alive.”

“OK Mom,” Ellie rolled her eyes, nudging a giddy Savvy toward the door.

“Thank you, Mom!” Savvy called, giving you a wave as Ellie urged her outside.

You just laughed and watched until you couldn’t see them anymore before taking your time getting everything set for the night. Your house would be empty overnight for the first time since you’d gotten married. You hadn’t slept without Joel beside you in months, you weren’t in a rush to get home and feel his absence there. But, after a while, you couldn’t stall anymore. You made your way to the mess hall, already mostly empty, but found Maria there with William next to her. She smiled and waved you over and you joined them, sitting across the table as William crashed a carved moose and deer into each other, complete with sound effects.

“See you’re putting off being home, too,” she said, putting one hand in the middle of William’s back.

“Yeah, well,” you sighed. “That’s a damn big house for one person.”

She smiled tightly, knowingly.

“It’s always hard, thinking about them out there like that,” she said. “But this one feels harder.”

“Yeah,” you said, laughing once, darkly. “It really does.”

“Hey Aunt Bambi,” William looked up from his toys, his brown eyes reminding you of Joel’s. There was so much of the Miller men in his face it made your heart ache. “Did you know that moose are the biggest deer sp…sp…” he frowned and looked up at his mom.

“Species,” Maria finished for him before looking over at you. “He’s been obsessed with that carving ever since Joel gave it to him for Christmas so we’ve been learning about moose…”

“Well, moose are pretty cool,” you said knowingly.

“I want to see one,” he said. “Mommy says I can’t ride it but I bet I could ride it.”

You tried really hard not to laugh, William’s springy curls bouncing as he looked down at the carving in his chubby hand.

“I don’t think ridin’ it would be a good idea,” you said. “They’re big, could be very dangerous. But they are neat to see.”

“They’re not dangerous,” he frowned. “I bet we would be friends, just because they are big doesn’t mean they’re dangerous…”

“OK let’s I’d rather not think about you riding a moose,” Maria rolled her eyes. “We can start with seeing one from afar once you’re older.”

He just sighed heavily, as though the weight of the world were on his small shoulders, and went back to playing with the carvings.

“I remember when Savvy was that age,” you smiled a little. “She was all about horses, though…”

“Wonder where she got that from,” Maria smiled back.

The three of you were the last to leave the mess hall, the clean up team heading to the kitchens before you started heading out.

“You’re welcome to come over if you don’t want to be at home,” Maria said, carrying William as he started to fall asleep on her shoulder. “Our door is always open…”

“Thanks but I need to bite the bullet,” you sighed. “If Joel’s going out on longer patrols again, I need to get used to spending some nights home alone.”

“Well, the offer still stands,” she said. “As long as you don’t mind my kid babbling to you about moose, apparently.”

You laughed a little.

“He can babble to me about whatever he wants,” you said.

You parted ways and walked around Jackson for a few minutes before heading for the barn where the dogs were kenneled overnight, leaving a note on the log and taking Gatling from her designated place. She trailed behind you home, happy to be under your control again, and you fell asleep with her curled up against your stomach.

It was a relief to start the next day. You were halfway through your days with Joel outside, not sure if he was safe, too far away for you to see our touch. You could do one more night. You brought Gatling back to her kennel before heading to the stables and getting to work.

The girls came by in the late morning, both looking exhausted but otherwise OK.

“We’re going to go home and take a nap,” Ellie said, talking for Savvy who was staring straight ahead, looking dazed. “But we’ll be in the mess hall at lunch…”

“Go sleep before you fall over,” you smiled and shook your head. “Fill me in on everything later.”

Ellie steered Savvy out of the stable and you laughed a little. Savvy had friends, friends she was staying up all night with. It was everything you wanted for her, watching her grow up both beautiful and sad, thinking she would never have friends like this.

The girls beat you to the mess hall, their backs to the door you came in, their heads together, talking conspiratorially.

“She can’t know,” Ellie said quietly. “She’d freak out…”

“We can handle it,” Savvy said, quiet but sharp.

“Handle what?” You asked, making both of them jump, their eyes going wide. They looked at each other quickly and you frowned. “Girls. Handle what.”

“Nothing,” Ellie said quickly. Savvy was looking at you with a strange expression on her face. “Just… there’s a girl we know, this guy is being a dick. I think we can handle it without talking to her because I think if she knew it’d just be extra shitty.”

You frowned.

“Not gonna go pick a fight, are you? Because…”

“No,” she said. “Not picking a fight.”

“OK,” you said, still uncertain. “But I think…”

“Actually, Bambi, if it’s OK, we’re just going to head out,” Ellie said, cutting you off. “We got here early and I need to go bug Jesse about something.”

“Alright,” you frowned, looking between the two of them. “Are y’all sure everything is OK? Because…”

“It’s fine,” Ellie said before you could finish. “Right, Savvy?”

“Yeah,” she said, still looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place. Part of it like she didn’t know you at all. “It’s OK.”

“Alright,” you didn’t really believe either of them. “Look, if this boy is a serious problem…”

“Nothing like that,” Ellie cut you off again. “C’mon, Savvy.”

She got up and took Savvy’s hand, pulling her to her feet, too.

“Where can I find you two later,” you said. “Because…”

“We’ll be home,” Ellie said. “Don’t worry. It’s fine.”

She started pulling Savvy along behind her but Savvy just stayed where she was, her feet planted, eyes locked on you.

“Are you sure you’re OK?” You asked, brows knitting together. “If there’s anything you want to talk about…”

Savvy threw her arms around your waist, catching you totally by surprise, burying her face in your shoulder. You slowly, cautiously, put your arms around her, too, just holding her for a moment. It was so foreign yet familiar, so long since she’d latched onto you like this but holding her one of the only things it felt like you’d been made to do.

“You can always talk to me,” you said softly, running your hand over the back of her mass of curls and pressing a kiss to her temple. “About anything, I’m always here for you.”

“I know,” she said, stepping back and looking at you again. “I love you, Mom.”

You just stared at her for a moment, heart feeling like it was cracking open.

“I love you, too,” you said, your hands still on her shoulders. “More than anything.”

“C’mon Savvy,” Ellie said, taking her arm and tugging her away. “See ya, Bambi.”

You watched them go and debated following them before deciding to give Savvy some space. But, by the time you finished having lunch, you’d thought better of it. You were heading to see if they’d actually gone home but Olivia stopped you as you went past the stables, needing help with the horse you’d been working with the day before. It was hours before you could make it back to the house, bypassing your front door and heading straight for the back yard, knocking on Ellie’s door instead.

“One sec!” Ellie called and you heard her scramble for the door, breathless when she opened it. “Hey Bambi, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged, not asking for permission and just stepping inside. Savvy was sitting crosslegged in the middle of her bed looking a little more like herself. Or, at least, the self you’d come to recognize her as lately, a little angry with her mouth set in a firm line. “Wanted to see what you girls were up to tonight, make sure everything was OK.”

“We’re fine,” Savvy said, sounding less angry than she looked. “Just pretty tired.”

You nodded slowly.

“Get that stuff figured out with your friend earlier?” You asked, looking between them.

“Think so,” Ellie said. “We can handle it. Right?”

“Right,” Savvy said, giving her a firm nod.

You looked between them, hoping one of them would elaborate. Neither did.

“Alright, look,” you said. “Both of you are actin’ real weird. I need you to tell me what it is you’re schemin’ up because, while I understand that you want to take care of your friend, you can’t just go around causing problems here in town over something like a break up…”

“We’re not causing any problems in town,” Ellie said reassuringly. “I promise, we’re not going to go beat up some kid in Jackson or anything like that, I swear.”

You looked to Savvy.

“She’s right,” she said. “We really aren’t.”

You clenched your jaw for a moment. Something felt… off. They were telling the truth but you were uneasy. Something was up.

“We’re actually still really tired,” Ellie said after a minute. “So, if it’s OK with you, we’re just going to call it a night…”

“You swear you’re not going to go beat up some boy?” You asked, looking between them.

“Promise,” Ellie said. “The Jackson boys are safe from us.”

You sighed, hoping to get Joel’s help getting more out of them when he was back the next night.

“Alright. You two actually get some damn sleep, OK?”

“OK Mom,” Ellie rolled her eyes and you smiled a little. At least that seemed like Ellie.

You went back to the house, sitting at the window to the backyard with a cup of tea for a bit, until the lights went off in their little house. Something still pulled at you but you went and settled on the couch, putting on an old VHS tape that had been in Joel’s house, whoever had lived here before’s recording of some episodes of Seinfeld. You didn’t fast forward through the commercials, marveling at how far away the world that sold things like Oreos seemed. You’d only been about Savvy’s age when this had been recorded. Your relationship with your mother had been fraught, too. As hard as it was to have the only reason you’d fought so hard to survive be distant, she’d done more with you today than you would have with your own mother at that age. You sighed. Maybe you were through the worst of it. Maybe this was just what it was like parenting a teenager, strange distance interspersed with shocking moments of vulnerability.

You dozed off halfway through the third episode and the pounding on your front door made you sit bolt upright, shocking awake with a gasp.

The sound was relentless, a fist slamming into wood instead of rapping against it. You scrambled off the couch and pulled the door open without bothering to see who was on the other side of it, your heart in your throat. What if it was Maria? What if something had happened to Joel?

But standing on your porch was Kyle, the boy Savvy had been spending time with, his shock of red hair slick with sweat, his freckled skin blotchy and red. There was a gash on his cheek.

“Mrs. Miller,” he panted, looking at you with wide eyes. “I’m so sorry, they let me go, they let me go to come find you…”

“Slow down, kid,” you said gently, heart still pounding. You put your hands on his shoulders and guided him inside. “Take a deep breath, what’s goin’ on, is everyone OK?”

“No,” he shook his head, his eyes still wild and frantic. “No, they’re not OK. He’s got them, he’s got them, I tried to stop him but I couldn’t, there were too many and…”

“Who’s got who?” You frowned. “Need you to slow down, you’re not making any…”

“Savvy and Ellie,” he said. Your heart stopped. “He’s got them.”

***

“Swear to God this is the longest damn patrol I’ve ever been on,” Joel said, happy he could actually recognize some of what was around them now.

“And we’re even gettin’ back a few hours early,” Tommy gave him a cocky smile. “At least it was an easy one.”

“Jesus, don’t know if I’d call it easy with how my damn leg is feelin’,” Joel said. “Swear all I’m doin’ tonight is soaking in the damn bath…”

“See how your wife feels about that,” Tommy teased and Joel rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen how you two look at each other…”

“Fuck off,” Joel said, smiling all the same.

“S’what I thought,” Tommy said.

It had been an easy few days, all things considered. They’d picked off a few stray infected but no signs of a larger group. No immediate signs of raiders, either, the territory they covered broad and quiet. They’d made good time coming back, closing in on Jackson around noon instead of that evening. It was one of those times that Joel was glad that you worked in the stables, happy he’d have an excuse to go right to you the second he was in the gate. He didn’t care that he knew that he smelled, days of sweat and dirt stuck on his skin and clothes. You wouldn’t mind. You’d damn near tackle him, throwing your arms around his neck and pressing your body into his and he’d forget for a moment just how bad his damn leg was hurting after spending two and a half days on a horse.

But Joel knew something was off the second the gate opened, guards whispering low to each other as Joel and Tommy dismounted.

“Who died?” Tommy frowned, looking around.

“Maria’s on her way up,” Jason, one of the guards, said. “She knows what’s going on…”

Joel frowned at Tommy, who’s face had fallen, skin going pale.

“I’m sure s’all fine,” Joel said, limping more than usual as he went to stand beside his brother, clapping a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “It’s Jackson, what could happen?”

Maria appeared then, walking quickly and talking seriously with Warren.

“Oh Jesus,” Tommy said softly. “This is bad…”

“Think we lost someone?” Joel asked, voice low.

“Feels like we’re about to go to fuckin’ war,” Tommy said, matching Joel’s tone.

“Good to see you two back and in one piece,” Maria said, Joel’s stomach lurching at her tone. She was talking like a member of the council not like his sister-in-law. “Jason, take the horses to get settled. I need to talk to Joel and Tommy.”

Joel’s heart beat a little faster. She said it like she needed to talk to him, like Tommy was there to make sure he didn’t fly off the handle. She put her hand in the middle of Joel’s back and guided him to the Tipsy Bison, the bar empty this early in the day.

“What’s goin’ on?” Tommy asked the second they were in the door. “Is William OK? Why’s everyone actin’ like someone fuckin’ died?”

“William is fine, he’s with the neighbors,” Maria said gently before turning her attention to Joel. “I need you to stay calm…”

“Why,” he demanded. “Maria…”

“We don’t know everything,” she cut him off. “We’ve only known about it for maybe two hours, we’re still coming up with a plan and…”

“Known about what,” Joel demanded. “What’s goin’ on?”

Maria took a deep breath and looked him dead in his eyes.

“Bambi, Ellie and Savvy are gone.”

Time slowed. His heart dropped and there was a high pitched whine ringing in his head.

That didn’t make sense. This was Jackson. Things were safe here, everything was supposed to be safe here, that’s why he’d stayed here, risked everything to bring Ellie back here, done everything to keep you here when you’d tried to leave before and something had taken you from him anyway.

“What do you mean they’re gone?” Tommy’s voice snapped him back into his head. “Where’d they go? What happened?”

“This is everything we know,” Maria held a folded piece of paper out to Joel, his name in your handwriting on one half of it like you were addressing a letter. “We’re doing everything we can…”

Joel unfolded the page with trembling hands, the crinkle of the paper almost sharp in his ears.

Joel,

I know I promised to be here to come home to but Cody has our girls and I’m going to get them back. He told me to come alone or they die and I can’t risk them. Please don’t come after me, not until we know they’re safe. I’ll do everything I can to come back to you but if I don’t, protect them and take care of yourself. They need you.

If I never see you again, I want you to know that loving you was worth surviving for. Getting to be your wife and taking care of our girls with you was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Be safe.

I love you.

You signed your name, your real name, like you had the tape you gave him for Christmas but there was one notable difference: your last name was Miller.

Joel’s fist got tight around the paper. He’d lost you and his girls. He’d let the man who had hurt you live and now that had all three of you, doing who knows what to you.

“They were here yesterday,” Maria’s voice sounded far away. “It must have happened overnight. When Bambi didn’t show up at the stables today, Olivia sent someone to check on her around 10 a.m. and they found the note…”

Joel wasn’t listening, turning and stalking for the door, taking mental stock of the supplies he still had on him. How much ammunition? He was pretty sure he had a good count of how many rounds he’d fired on patrol but now he was less certain.

“Joel!” Maria’s voice was sharp, making him stop, one hand on the door, the sunlight pouring through the glass of it oddly bright. How could anything be bright right now, at a moment like this? “What are you doing? You can’t just…”

He looked back over his shoulder, his brother and sister-in-law, the pair of them standing and watching him with cautious looks on their faces.

Joel hoped they wouldn’t try to stop him. He loved them both, they were family, but if he had to choose from you and the girls or his brother, his brother would lose every single time. He wouldn’t hesitate to go through them.

Joel had felt like he’d been meant to do very little in his life. Before, he’d worked a job that let him pay his bills and watched college football for a school he’d never had a shot at getting into. Since, he’d done plenty to get by and distract himself from the emptiness of his existence, none of it feeling like it was worth a damn thing. The one different, constant piece had been how he felt about the people his world revolved around. Sarah, Ellie, you, Savvy. The four of you were his calling. The four of you were why he was here at all. He’d survived the loss of Sarah by the skin of his teeth. In so many ways, he never really recovered. He wouldn’t have recovered at all if it weren’t for Ellie.

He wasn’t doing that again. He wouldn’t survive it again. This was life and death, not just for the three of you but for himself, too.

Joel met his brother’s gaze.

“That monster’s got my wife, my daughters,” Joel said, voice dark and firm. “I’m gonna hunt him, I’m gonna hurt him and I’m gonna bring them back.”

A/N: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I know, more angst. I don't know why I'm like this either. Feel free to yell at me in the comments or my ask box or my DMs. I'll still love you.

Thanks for putting up with me and all my shit and for continuing to read this story. It really does mean so, so much to me.

I love you!!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust @ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost @beccerjune @mumma-moonchild @netonetoneto @mellymbee @purplelye @n7cje @flugazi @evyiione @randomhoex @aliengirl99 @orcasoul @reds-ramblings @pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel @jenispunk @panda-pascal @sarap-77 @flugazi @your-slutty-gf @daniegraceg @partyofone3413 @cumberpegg @noisynightmarepoetry. @fifia-writes @grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123 @ashleyfilm @arizonadreamingg

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #smut fic

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kalims · 2 years

Note

Hi, there~! So I have this really fun idea in my head. I would like a headcannon in which the fem! reader asks the Dorm Leaders to be her pretend boyfriend. But what happens when the boys fall in love for real? Super fluff, please! Thanks!

‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "i know this sounds weird but can you pretend to be my boyfriend?"

today's promise,

parts : one, two, three.

characters : riddle, leona, azul.

cw : book 1, 2, and 3 possible spoilers. implied harassment, fake relationship, eventual pining, fluff, this post is long-term fake relationship kinda thang.

includes : fem!reader.

wc : 7.1k words, 39.7k characters.

note : I tried to basically make the thing diverse, which included me stealing an idea from spy x family. the whole party scene basically 👩‍🦯 also I originally had no plans to post this yet, but since it's been a long time since I've active I figured to just put it. don't expect the next part to be out anytime soon lmao, I'm exhausted. sorry that this came out like a month and a half late

reblogs are appreciated <3

riddle rosehearts — when a creep is borderline harassing you and you need help to get rid of them. what better way was to drive them out with no needed force?

what the hell? you shove your newly acquired phone further under your blazer, shrinking a little when crewel's line of sight passes by your figure. you start praying to the gods, wherever, whenever to give you mercy when you feel another buzz sounding from the device.

they were anonymous, an unknown number that told you to just call them C. which is kind of hilarious since it just reinforced your impression of a troll on them.

it's been a few weeks and a few days since you've started to receive– admittedly concerning texts. of which you've brushed up as a troller, your previous thought ended up far too wrong when you received a mouthful of detail on your current attire.

which would've been normal if they also didn't pair it with a descriptive text about your classes, and what you do when you get home.

you sent the person a simple text to leave you alone, before pressing the block button. you didn't hear from them for a day. it was apparently temporary peace until you found a sealed letter in your seat, the signed name caught your attention immediately.

– C :)

it's contents were too morally wrong to even say.

so you decide to entertain them for a while. getting to know each other, never really answering their questions that are too personal for strangers to know of. you started off asking their name, they didn't grace you with a reply.

next you tried asking if they were on the same yearl, it was simple. but it would greatly slim your suspects if they said yes.

they said yes.

next, you asked. what dormitory are you in?

heartslabyul, C replied immediately.

well they clearly thought that your knowledge of their dorm would do harm.

"hey, riddle!" the boy himself slows down his steps. peering behind him curiously, the previous stern look in his eyes slightly softens when it only catches of one of his close freinds. "prefect. something you need?"

"yes actually."

he listens dutifully. and at some point riddle just halts in his steps, and in turn you do aswell. "someone is bothering you? unbelievable! it's off with their—" he fumes. an immediate scowl gracing his features. there is a noticeable fury brimming behind riddle's eyes.

you grimace. a pool of uneasiness starts to rise in your stomach. it wasn't as though you were afraid of them, but more like..

the lack of evidence would most likely pin the blame to you instead.

"I'd prefer a more.." you gesture at his reddening face. "peaceful approach."

your method is certainly.. interesting it wasn't like riddle disliked it but he would've preferred to get the problem apprehended right away. but then again he can't really speak since he isn't their target of offense.

he looked embarrassed to hear your whole grand plan. he doesn't want to say no because who is he? a dorm leader to turn away from someone who is suffering at the hands of his fellow student.

riddle seems immensely more furious than you'd ever seen him when you inform that its a heartslabyul student. he would honestly just start marching onwards his dorm to interrogate the students themselves but even compared to the whole population of the school. there's still a lot of students in the heartslabyul dorm.

but since both of you figured it'd just do harm, you somehow convinced him to abandon his previous idea and proceed with yours instead: it's simple, probably effective if done properly, no one would question it since they don't know the behind the scenes, and maybe it's a chance to get to know riddle a little better.

the first week was very awkward. you'd think he'd forgotten about it since he barely does anything to make the promise realistic but you threw the whole assumption out of the window since he seemed far too tense when you attempt to make a physical affection towards him.

thankfully his embarrassment and red face was usually mistaken for a blush of shyness so it had done a lot despite it being an unconscious effort from riddle. students had taken notice and started to gossip, much to his dismay. but then again the whole plan wouldn't have worked if word doesn't get out.

"us suddenly entering a.. relationship so suddenly would be suspicious." riddle says one day. matching your pace and looking straight ahead. as a whole, he was completely right. even after the whole overblot incident. you and him didn't really show any indication of actually being interested in each other romantically.

you nod. "yeah... but they wouldn't have any proof that this is a fake you know. therefore this could work." riddle shakes his head at you. "that is a weak contradiction."

apparently but expectedly, C caught word of the whole thing. and created a whole new number to start bothering you with. the first thing you see is them questioning you about the riddle, addressing the rumors and if they were true. in a way that depicts them looking absolutely crazy.

you would send the whole convo to crowley and hopefully get them suspended, even better if expelled but you don't really know the exact location of this person. you've tried getting an ignihyde student to help you, since they're basically geniuses with tech. but you've come to learn that they use public phones to contact you.

no not the free ones like from your old world. a whole, actual smart phone would be free to use in various stores in case of an emergency. if this was back in your world it would've been 100% robbed already.

(not canon I think this is for plot purpose)

the second week ends up going smoother than the last. you both agree showing affection in public but on a more minimal note, like how those sappy couples do. ace and deuce naturally find out first. walking into you and riddle seatedt on a bench with you casually leaning your head on his shoulder, to which he responded with placing his over yours. you both stare at the pages of a history book.

admittedly with great reluctance and the embarrassment he thought he'd gotten rid of.

ace had screamed so loudly that it made his housewarden jump from his seat and set his enraged eyes on the former. he was expectedly punished for possibly disturbing nearby students with the loud noise. and riddle took personal offense from his reaction alone.

you watch calmly from the sidelines, involved with the chaos as always though being only left to witness it.

"honestly dude? ew, why housewarden?!" ace groans. finally cornering you in the ramshackle dorm, traces of red paint all across his hands. deuce follows behind him, nodding and looking torn. of course, they didn't need to know so you just resorted to telling them the classic. "we hit off."

they didn't leave you alone. and had the most weirdest excuse to pull you away from riddle whenever they happen to see you two together. you can't tell if it's because they're lowkey protective or they just wanna spite riddle, mainly ace but deuce seems reluctant but involved regardless.

cater, of course finds out a few days later after your first year freinds do. I don't know what you expect but he's the main reason why the majority of NCR. are aware of your current status with the housewarden. if there's a fast way to get everyone aware of your status, leave it to cater and his trusty skills with social media.

cater might go a little overboard sometimes but he'd probably start of with something like hinting -> posting pictures of you and riddle (his first one was in a library, with riddle looking over your shoulder as you sat.) and -> captioning the posts with the most obvious shit like love birds. 🙄

...and he is also the reason why you are being spammed online by a bunch of curious fellow students.

contrary to what the adeuce had thought. trey was actually the one who found out first. riddle being unable to hide it with his obvious behavior and eventually confiding in trey with a red face and sputtering words. of course riddle didn't relay your secret, you trusted him enough to keep and aid you after all.

(only him.)

eventually the whole thing just starts to blend with his whole schedule. suddenly the hand holding, cheek kissing, and affection in general doesn't affect him as much as it did before. on the contrary, he sometimes finds himself enjoying it which is outrageous because he thinks it's inappropriate to feel such a thing towards you when this whole thing is just..

pretend.

in fact he starts to incorporate you into his life. he makes that he brews two cups of tea to bring over in the mornings, one for you, one for him. even better if you both caught moment alone in the gardens, just with the occasional chatter (with riddle making sure your student and personal life is doing okay) and the silence whom you don't know how it melted from awkward to comfortable.

as a second example, there is a special spot for you whenever there's an unbirthday party. sweets especially to your taste, or just general pastries like bread if you aren't too into sweets. (don't ask why you're now seated next to his seat, on his very own special table while your freinds are staring into your soul.) did I mention he completely disregarded grim and even asked adeuce to take care of him while he gets you all to himself?

thirdly. he'd grown accustomed to squeeze you into his schedule, another example being study sessions on a quiet spot in the library consisting of the torture of school, ensured after classes of course. but if riddle is beside you, helping you along the way surely it won't be too bad?

it all would've gone alone fairly well if azul and kalim didn't come barging in the middle of one of your sessions, kalim exclaiming over a new addition to their study group? while azul wears a suspiciously polite look. riddle nearly screams in suprise before going a little red at the realization–

he'd forgotten that he, along azul had taken the intuitive to tutor kalim. well, it was mostly him believing that jamil should have a break, therefore ending up up offering. he's not sure about azul though but he definitely had some kind of ulterior motive.

now the two are some kind of third and fourth wheels to your 'not dates' azul is now excessively asking a lot of questions. probably having noticed the now close intimacy you two share. some simple, and some far too embarrassing to answer.

you had to pull riddle away before he actually collared a fellow dorm head, there's a slim chance he will since riddle is always so formal, respecting and strict. azul didn't break any rules so there wasn't a need for a punishment.

slim but definitely not impossible!

he wasn't aware at first. too entranced to notice that his red faces weren't from embarrassment or shame anymore but from actual shyness. he seems to grip your hand a little tighter, spending so much time with you that there was a moment where he forgot he had duties to attend to.

ah.. you almost forgot, the creep that had been bothering you wasn't heard from for... days? your days had been going so splendidly that it brought you the blessing of forgetting about them…

as a final precaution you swipe open your messages and to your absolute delight the last time they texted you was about a week ago. nothing was heard which meant that they hopefully got the whole memo.

"riddle, thank you." you smiled at him one afternoon. riddle raises a brow at your frankly, rare thankful behavior. "for what?"

you beam at him, so blissfully that his hearts starts running laps. it had such a hold on him that he had to verbally clear his throat. "they're gone! I didn't notice but they haven't been bothering me anymore." who? they? who is they?

ohh...

oh..

you don't know if you were hallucinating but it almost seemed like the strands on his head, shaped like hearts, drooped as if it broke.

"so.. you don't need me--my help anymore?" he questions quietly. the answer is so clear in your head, but even you pause in silence. unable to answer.

riddle doesn't know how he got the courage to do what he had in the following moments. maybe a burst of effort to keep you with him.

he huffed. "hmph, prefect. you've stolen something from me." your face constricts into slight horror but mainly confusion is present as you point at yourself. "me? I have?"

he grabs your finger and navigates it to point at his chest. "yes. stolen items must be replaced. there isn't a problem if I want yours right?"

"👁👄👁" that was smooth.

leona kingscholar — when you've accidentally told your freinds that you're in a relationship in a spur of the moment, and now have to prove it to be true.. or else.

it was nice having freinds. other than a pair of boys atleast, you love ace and deuce but sometimes.. you'd just prefer it if sometimes we're a little calmer.. and not full of half hearted brawls that you always get dragged into.

socializing was a pain in the ass sometimes, and definitely hard to do when you know absolutely nothing about the new world. so you literally felt like some foreign kid in a new school, on a new continent, starting school.

so you'd guess it's the reason why you started clinging onto a pair of ladies, just your age. they were attending another college a few ways over NRC, they were apart of a sorority. as crazy as it seems that those actually exist here aswell.

well.. not exactly clingy but you let them basically do anything they want to you. they're actually really nice. it sounds like you're just a loser but you'd just rather not walk up to someone and go. "hey! wanna be freinds?" it sounds way too awkward.

"you're really pretty, you know?" A twirls a lock of your hair and giggles. you blink in slight embarrassment and guiltily stare at your shoes. "thanks.."

B perks up from the bed. "well yeah! im suprised you haven't got a boyfreind yet." she teases. behind her sits C, C grunts and not so violently pulls B from the hair which causes the girl to jerk back.

"OW??"

"stop moving.." C mumbles.

B sits up, exasperated. "whatever.. anyways! the house is gonna host a party next month." she points at you. "you in?"

you pause and think about your schedule. it's clean, right? finally, you nod. "yeah."

A grins "for once were letting in plus two's! you better make sure you bring someone. kay?"

who the hell would you even bring? well… ace or deuce would count but if you brought one the other is bound to start following as well. kinda like they come in a two in one package.

"speaking of… do you have anyone in mind?"

"ah.."

B leaps up and starts squealing. "oh MY GOD!! don't tell me you're gonna bring a boyfriend!" she laughs. slapping you playfully. in the spur of the moment you answer.

"heh… in your dre–"

"um yeah.."

they all pause. "WHAT?"

"so you're telling me, you told your freinds that you have a boyfreind? " leona scowls. leaning his cheek on his palm as his tail lazily swishes behind him peering up at you, looking half asleep.

he groans. "out of all people.. me, really?" you sigh and nod mutely. "sorry. it was in the spur of the moment, i kind of... blurted it out and they don't believe me."

leona makes another sound of seeming irritation. "so your pride is on line? fine.. remember, you're indebted to me after this."

he pauses. "oh, for the record. you're gonna listen to whatever I say. got it?" you can only nod. he was the one accepting after all, it hardly seemed like a fair deal but whatever gets him to succumb to your one wish.

this will be okay right? this will be beneficial to him, even better if it requires minimal effort

leona still can't wrap the thought of why, you've chosen him out of all students in the school, even one of your so dear, first year best freinds would be a better choice. he internally sighs at your carelessness. If you hadn't been so quick to be defensive then maybe he wouldn't be in this situation at all..

but then again he would still need to lift another limb if he ended up not accepting with ruggie being busy in the meanwhile. he thinks, watching you scurry around. obviously struggling and lowkey annoyed at his vigorous commands. is this how a king feels? to be able to get someone to obey without much complaints.

ruggie doesn't know what in the seven is going on and why you were like some kind of new, additional servant to the housewarden but he doesn't really care, if anything your involvement had made his life a lot easier.

and what does ruggie appreciate? something to lessen the load of work leona just piles on him! nice see you again prefect. now you're gonna be someone that ruggie's gonna use to skip out on all the work he deems to hard for his poor, overworked self. be ready. he's gonna work you to the absolute bone.

accompanied by lots of school works, upcoming tests and more errands from crowley. adding leona's needs didn't exactly help your case. if anything it made your headaches more frequent and, more prone to passing out because you could literally see your vision blur at random times in the day.

your 'freinds' ended up inviting you to some kind of acquaintance party. which you'd be stress free of going to if it weren't the fact that they insisted for your so called 'boyfreind' to come along. for a couple of freinds, they sure are persistent on humiliating you. but what can you do? they have more influence than you.

"there's a party, I need you to go with me."

you had told leona when he had his back turned to you. "hngh... what a pain..." you could hear him mumble and perhaps even the small disappointment of knowing that you'll be going alone. it's not that you minded his reaction to the situation, if you went alone then you'd be proved as a liar.

the party was in a few weeks. prior to the party then you'd go along as his errand runner until the day arrives. even then, there's still a small bubble of hope. despite the fact that you're sure he won't even bother. for now you'd trust him, leona isn't known for his promises. but he helped you during that time in octavinelle, even if the intentions were made to benefit himself.

..and if he just put up with your little plan. he'd get an obedient little 'servant' he can boss around with ruggie. if you can deal with crowley then you surely can put up with leona. at the very least, his commands are just him being his lazy self compared to the piles crowley would give you.

his commands usually being "fetch me another pillow in the closet." or "get me meat from the kitchen." leona being leona.. = never putting the effort to do something rather than snooze the whole day.

the first week consisted of you mainly getting more packed with work. crewel noticed the tired face you sported in class, he even caught you sleeping several times. usually he'd whip up a good punishment.. but, maybe you need it. of course he'd confronted crowley about it but you don't exactly know.

and your whole load got lighter, even if it isn't a lot. and using the confusion into advantage the following days goes by with you feeling lighter than you'd ever been.

leona still stayed the same. you don't even know why you went to him. he didn't make it believable nor initiate anything that implies that he'd chosen you. you were frustrated because even your freinds had noticed despite their being not even from NCR. you'd never posted about leona, only the occasional food pics you'd post on magicam.

they'd still pester you about showing his face.

of course. the school doesn't even know about your whole predicament so if leona doesn't want to, then why even bother? after all, they're not the ones who you're appealing to. slowly this whole things seems very useless since you'd just end up indebted to the lion who didn't lift a finger to help you.

"maybe jack would have been a better option?" you mumble randomly. carefully folding a piece of shirt that definitely belongs to leona, it's scent is eerily familiar. you fan yourself with your hand, it's absolutely hot in here.. how do these boys even survive in the heat?

unkownst to you of the lion that just walked in on the right time to pick up on your words despite still being far away from you. if there was one thing leona hated– it was being compared.

this is weird, what would leona want to call for you? "for your hard work, I'll give you a little prize." leona stretches. ears twitching pleasantly at the sensation of his bones popping. then he lays down and glances at you side ways. "what're you waiting for? come here." while you stood dumbly in the middle of the botanical garden.

and that's how you ended up casually tucked under leona's arm on a patch of green in the botanical garden. the grass tresses tickle your face as if it was caressing it. it brought little comfort to the racing heart you had, and you feared that leona could pick it up. "well this isn't bad is it?"

he opens his eyes and peeks at you, a little exasperated. "herbivore. calm down will you? don't catch feels for me so fast." before you could answer he's already fast asleep, even going as far as snuggling closer like you were his pillow!

"that's not..." you trail off. awkwardly adjusting your position as you'd tried to wriggle out prior, which ended up being a fail since you failed to recognize how strong a lion could be.. you sigh and succumb to your ultimate demise. might as well catch up on some sleep, right?

(is it really a coincidence for leona to suddenly pull you to nap just after you've looked so exhausted? I will leave you to interpret that.) <- a factor to his invitation, the minor one being him hell bent on proving that he's obviously better and not one to compare to.

"leonaaa.. leonaaa! I know you're in here.."

ruggie ends up finding his housewarden and the prefect of ramshackle snuggling into each other like a pair of lion mates.. er... lion and human mate?? was that even okay.. a lion and a human together wasn't very common, lions liked to stick to other lions. uncommon but you're not the only case.

the second week passes by with less stress than the first one. you're now somehow obligated to attend leona's mandatory morning, afternoon, and night naps. the fact that the leona himself is dragging himself to your class instead of actually sleeping to drag you to sleep with him. (that was confusing) is suspicious enough as it is.

so jack ends up having an urge, something to resolve his curiosity that he can't help. though he has an inner crisis, he ultimately ends up asking you about it to which you casually reply. "oh, leona? we're... together.." you mumbled.

what now 😃

jack is honestly quite confused. come on now. you and the housewarden? that's the pair that no one would expect. if he remembers correctly. you and leona barely talked to each other and even got into a few disputes yourself! it just sounds kinda bizarre given how he treats you like a nobody.

^ typical leona behavior to everyone else but still..

from what you know. leona doesn't own a magicam, hell. you haven't even seen him carrying a phone around. but apparently you were wrong when ruggie casually showed you leona's page like it was nothing. you woulda assumed it's just ruggie trying to mess with you if the followers didn't have the verified user of @/farena. people from leona's homeland struck you as people who don't really care about technology but guess you're wrong again..

(leona wasn't following back)

somehow theres actually stuff that the page has: for example a blurry picture of leona sleeping. and the caption being messy letters that you used enough brain juice to form 'unca leona'. you laugh and follow leona as a joke, scrolling through his page full of blurry pics and selfies from cheka. some from the king himself.

though you don't know if you're suprised if leona followed you back or how he was still awake. his 0 following now turned into 1.

now you have a curious big brother in your dms whose curiously asking who you are. and your freinds pestering you once again, this time quering about the mysterious follow of a prince! you almost forgot they knew your social media.

you end up ignoring them in favor of actually getting to know farena. you suppose that if you'd told leona he'd definitely get upset and stingy with you so you decide on not letting him know. farena exchanges greetings with you before going into a discussion about leona.

as if some kind of flip. he did a 180° and is now telling you embarrassing stories about leona. sending you old pictures of a young leona that you'd never thought you'd see.

what an entertaining night..

the third week arrived faster than you had thought. you were mainly focused on completing your tasks as well as balancing your student life. if anything both are pretty much the same. at that time, leona had pretty much given you access to everything he owns. he no longer makes a fuss over you arriving at the dorm, if anything. he seems pleased.

and sometimes he calls for you himself! last time you remember he was just about seconds from grumbling away because of your presence alone due to the confiscation if your dorm! and now if lions could purr you could pretty much imagine him doing so because he seems so intent on letting you sleep next to him.

on.his.bed.

did I mention he kicks grim out of the bed when he thinks you don't know as you both sleep? someone get this cat a break because you are both grim's blessing and nightmare. all these boys are doing crazy things to sever his bond with HIS henchman! >:(

oh you wanna sleep on his bed? wait for him would you? you're hungry? fine. lion prides usually have their individual fair shares anyways. basically the epitome of "we share everything." this doesn't extend to him only you know, so there's unspoken rule that you have to share yours too. he doesn't really ask much but you're starting to question why he keeps taking your blankets, returning it and then taking it again after a few weeks.

(I'm sure you know)

surprisingly leona's attendance to class had been so frequent whenever you were somehow involved to the point where trein had asked you to 'help' him in class. by that he really meant being some kind of assistant.. not that you minded (you did) but why?

oh… crewel is his potionology teacher? he hates the professor because he treats leona like a goddamn puppy. so leona just skips it all out until somehow you had gotten involved. just when he was about to step out from the classroom to skip you enter to pass a stack of paper to crewel. the man asks you to assist him with some things.

why's he suddenly in his seat??

did I mention that lions are quite possessive of things they claim?

…

the weeks just blur in comparison and now you're walking to the party alone. shivering at the unfortunate winter blessed upon the streets of.. this world or whatever.. it's been only a few times since you've left campus, a majority only ever to visit the girls.

you peer at your watch. he's 32 minutes late... you sigh, shoving your cold fingers in your pockets. what was the point in waiting anymore? you'd be more of an embarrassment if you turn up to the party more late, and partnerless..

the cold, merciless winter doesn't do justice against the icy feeling your heart adorns.

that's how you arrived at the doorstep of your freind, particles of visible snow clouding your attire. as they struggle to hold in their laugh. "you're late!" I know..

"c-pfft..come on in!"

you nod. dusting off the snow over your jacket and hanging it. it's too bad. you look down at the attire under your coat. cause for once you had actually tried to make an effort to make yourself look presentable. to try and make yourself look appealing even, in the slightest hopes of impressing…

hm. you shake your head and stand awkwardly in a corner, everyone doesn't seem to notice you.

this normalcy--, you glance at someone making hand motions. then their hand bursts into a dance of fiery, passionate flames. --is something I can never get.

after all… there is no such thing as magic back in your world. it's dull, boring and certainly tempted to just pluck away all your hopes and burn it when you start high school.

you ended up staying for more or less, half an hour. you let yourself explore the house, it was quite big. smaller than ramshackle but it looks more regal and clean. you're almost jealous. the food was good, there wasn't a lot of meat. mainly vegetables.

the most you could do was escape to the front porch to ignore their never ending remarks. your phone in your hand as you engage in small, admittedly idiotic talk with your two best freinds, seated on a swinging, wooden..swing thing. housewarden collared me again. ace's text read. it provided you with small warmth to fight against glacial temperature.

you smile.

you don't have animal ears like the savanaclaw beastmen but you can almost hear a pair of footwear crunching in the snow. then there's a pair of shoes entering your vision. you look up and--

"leona?"

"this party's boring, let's go." he doesn't acknowledge the fact that he basically stood you up for like an.. hour or two? you always knew he was prideful. instead he engaged in a minute length staring contest. until he slouches his shoulders and sighs in defeat. "fine, have it your way."

silence.

"you know I set up an alarm, I missed it." you blink and stare at him from your peripheral vision, it looks like he's going to continue. "can ya believe that? I'm disrupting my sleep for you. tch, so don't act so sad when I've gone through all the trouble. all right?"

".. you don't need these losers anyways. all you need is me."

you stay quiet when he sits down beside you, spreads his legs and slides his arm behind you, stretching. like he owns the house. the swing creaks under his weight.

it doesn't feel so cold anymore. "I'm here now so you owe me." you shake your head. the whole thing was basically pointless but you were too happy to end the whole pretending thing. "what do you want.?"

he grins. "you."

you gawk. "huh?!"

me after writing the last part..👩‍🦽

azul ashengrotto — when you’re too curious for your own good so you strike up a deal.

"to sum it all up, you would like an experience?" azul hums. the slightest tip of his hat casts the ever mysterious persona over his face, making it more eery.

you blankly nod. a bit embarrassed to admit that you've come to him for the silliest of reasons: to experience a relationship to the full extent.

you weren't that desperate. just.. curious. you know what they say don't you? curiosity kills the cat.

azul assumes a confident look. "hehehe.. I can do that, aren't i so kind." for I, am gracious.

woah is this some kind of deja vu..

this time around, after learning through your past lessons. you've skimmed every part of the contract for any loop holes that might and will be used against you.

oh.. this whole thing was a grand plan was it? to get you to be his anemone.. servant? but wasn't he banned by crowley from ever using his unique magic? perhaps there's still some kind of catch that you haven't caught on yet. you cast one more suspicious look at the smiling azul before signing your signature on the very bottom.

anyhow, the details of the contract was for azul to help you experience a relationship. in return you'll be an additional help, whenever. if he needs a helping hand you'd be inclined to aid him.

there was this absolutely embarrassing silence that made you want to self destruct. because he's just there smiling like nothing is wrong as he tucks the contract into his... sleeve? what the hell how could that fit in there. 🙁

you shake your head just as he extends a hand towards you. when you look up he displays you an awfully charming grin. "shall we?" you take his hand. "where are we going?"

"I must not let a lady walk by herself, no? even it isn't night. it is still dangerous."

it was first thing in the morning when you set out to octavinella since you knew azul would be up anyways, plus there were less students around the campus. even your grim was fast asleep in the mornings, you'd have to go back quickly if you don't want him to make a fuss about the lack of breakfast. not that crowley provided you with it anyways..

when you arrive in ramshackle. grim is already on the front porch, looking gravely hungry. his ears perk up when he catches sight of you. and then droops again when he sees azul on your side, to him. looking very suspicious as always. "hey you! what're you doing with my henchman!" grim screeched. obviously still scarred from his previous experiences that weren't so pleasant with the octavinella dorm leader.

you had to restrain grim before he could start tearing up azul's coat.

the first week is relatively normal. and azul actually makes it so that you feel as though you're actually in a relationship with him. but you've both come to an agreement that the affection will remain to a certain 'professional' extent, as he is not entirely comfortable with it. which you've come to learn, he isn't used to it.

you once accidentally bumped shoulders with him when you were sitting on a long chair with a few other students, his glasses fogged up for some reason, his face was tinged pink and he jerked back so far that you thought he actually hated you for 10 seconds straight.

he kind of stayed more hyper aware of his surroundings after that.

I kind of got off topic so let's continue the whole thing going around the first week.

azul has made it possible to organize some kind of dates, exclusively only ever happening whenever he's sure that both of your schedules align. It's surprisingly a daily occurrence since the first and second year's schedule are pretty much the same. (if I'm wrong please inform me.)

it wasn't too long before the tweels found out. maybe a couple of days after you've made the deal with azul. after the promise of floyd leaving him alone if he'd tell them why he's acting to affectionate with the prefect of ramshackle, which ends up with floyd looking a little disappointed and jade, bemused.

"ehh.. that's too bad, I thought you actually charmed shrimpy.. your game is weaker than I thought."

"excuse me?!"

"fufufu.. most entertaining, azul looks flustered."

after more comments from floyd. azul eventually makes a promise that he will absolutely charm you to fall in love with him merely out of spite of his childhood freind. and you're just confused why he's taking the whole thing a lot more seriously.

second week is filled with vigorous efforts of azul trying to woo you after doing excessive research of your own interests. he isn't usually so fired up over floyd's teasing as he'd basically grown up with it, but for some reason he is?

you're just confused why he's suddenly so determined to treat the whole thing more seriously than before. you don't exactly find the sudden change unpleasant, just a little suspicious as to what made his transition so apparent.

you always 'accidentally' bump into azul at the most convenient times. it usually happens whenever a class had ended and there isn't another for a while. azul just smiles and invites you to sit with him for lunch. which is a suprise since he was so adamant on keeping the deal under wraps.

you could only sit beside him. silently weeping at the prying stares many had thrown your way. the twins ended up sitting in your table (you could've sword azul's glasses cracked when floyd separated you two and sat in the middle of you and azul)

jade only displays a cool, menacing smile as usual.

by then you'd gotten unusually close with the trio. finding out things you hadn't even assumed, like how azul seems so aggressive with the twins sometimes out of goodwill. now you have a pair of lowkey protective eels and a stupefied octopus that can help you for a price scam.

being friends with them had its pros, came with it was the cons. which included several of the students that tried to be freindly with you being less talkative, suddenly paling in the middle of the conversation. (unkownst to you about the two glowering eels behind you)

the possessiveness is given by all three of them. for a reason still unknown but you're still skeptical.

the information that this whole thing is just playing pretend would most likely be tucked neatly in the back of your mind. where you'd admittedly forget for a few moments, too deep to escape from the temporary loneliness and certainly too real to register that it isn't.

here's the thing. azul is absolutely great at deceiving, you're already aware the moment you learned just how many contracts he'd 'earned'.

and unfortunately for you. there was a time where you'd actually thought he genuinely loved you because the way his eyes just.. sparkle, crinkling up and the soft smile.. you just rather shake your head and convince yourself that it wasn't real, it never was.

"thank you for your help, as promised. I'll help out with whatever you need as payment."

azul's brows creases. "wha—oh.. ahem. I see, much appreciated. let's talk about the details later." he nods. uncharacteristically quiet.

there is a moment of silence before he speaks up again, looking more confident than ever. "just wait a second. would you like to extend the deadline?" you blink in bewildered and gape like a fish.

so all you could muster up was a small. "huh?" where was this going and where did he get the idea? you can almost feel your heart just about to swim away! the offer is so tempting but you aren't sure about what he wants..

you shake your head. "for um.. how long?"

he smirks. "forever."

okay I lowkey got embarassed writing that so bye 👋👋

🏷 : @dicetheroll @ravynous @gh0stbastard

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