#years to unlearn all of that and attempt to be a better person? then we should give him the benefit of the doubt | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

local-redhead-bookworm · 1 year

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Some of the people in the Stranger Things fandom are absolute boneheads. I don’t care about whatever degree in psychology you have, if you think an 18-year-old boy who

was abandoned by his mother and left to live with his abusive father

was actively being abused up until he got flayed

had clear abandonment issues

showed behaviors that could easily fall into anxiety and/or PTSD or CPTSD

was groomed by a woman old enough to be his mom

was possessed by the Mind Flayer and was robbed of all bodily autonomy

sacrificed himself for the first person to show him kindness and compassion

used his final words to apologize to his sister

deserves to die, then you didn’t pay enough attention in those psychology classes, you don’t understand how abuse shapes people and the different effects it can have, and you should never, ever be allowed to practice. You don’t deserve a license if you think someone is undeserving of help.

“He was racist” debatable. Dacre has expressly stated he didn’t play Billy as racist, in spite of the Duffers’ initial attempts to write him that way, the original script even including “a far nastier piece of language” in regard to Lucas. Even the Duffers aren’t 100% sure if Billy is racist. And if Billy is racist, this is a small conservative Midwest town in the 80s and Billy is a Californian. He’s definitely not the worst one there. Most importantly, racism is learned and can be unlearned.

“He’s abusive” highly unlikely. The most we see is him yelling at Max once and grabbing her wrist once. This is all just after a very sudden move too, which inevitably makes things strained between family members. Even Max says that Billy wasn’t behaving that way before the move. Also if he was as abusive as y’all say he is, she wouldn’t be flipping him off, back-talking him, snooping around his room, and talking about him like he’s her annoying gross older brother. If he were abusive, she would be more scared of him.

“He tried to run over the kids” do you really think he would have risked jail time? Really? If he had actually wanted to run them over, Max wouldn’t have been able to turn the wheel.

“He tried to get with a married woman” I think you mean that a grown woman with a husband and children was sexually interested in an underaged boy and pursued him for nine months, was willing to have sex with him as soon as he was legal, stalked him to the point of having his work schedule memorized, and showed up at his workplace just so she could ogle him. It doesn’t matter that Billy initiated the flirting, Karen is an adult and she knows better. She only backed out because she didn’t want to ruin her own cushy life by sleeping with Billy, not because she realized that sleeping with a boy young enough to be her son was wrong.

“He’s homophobic” he’s quite literally not. There’s zero indication of that. He’s actually one of only three characters to be called a homophobic slur (the other two being Will and Jonathan). You’re making things up now.

Your arguments are boring and baseless, and your treatment of anyone who likes Billy is abominable. The sheer amount of horrendous things I’ve seen my friends be called because they like Billy (racial slurs, victim blaming, weight shaming, suicide baiting, saying they deserved the abuse they experienced, wishing death and rape on them) is actually disgusting. Behave like civilized people, stay in your lane, and if something upsets you that much, don’t interact with it.

#billy hargrove #anti billy hargrove #I’m arguing with a wall here but y’all are annoying #if he upsets you stay out of his tag

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misrepresentedmorallygrey · 2 months

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PROPAGANDA

Rose Quartz

It’s all “more morally grey women in media!” but when the mom from the space rocks singing and crying show turns out to not be the saint she was made out to be in the early seasons, suddenly she’s The Real Villain Of the Show and a Bitch and all the good she did in liberating the gems and saving the earth is completely erased. Yes! She was a diamond! She did some evil shit without understanding the consequences! She was once entitled and bratty and unempathetic. She got a lot of people hurt! But she also gave all our gems their freedom! She gave up her status and family and slowly tried to fix all the damage the diamonds had caused. She didn’t have Steven as a means to escape her past, she had Steven because she saw in humans everything she always wanted to be- something free and forever changing. You are allowed to not forgive her but claiming her to be inherently evil even after all she went through is flat out wrong. Imo you all just cant handle a bbw.

So many people absolutely DESPISE Rose Quartz. The show showed her character arc in reverse order, and when the show started, she was seen as this perfect being who was wise and kind and a rebel hero and utterly flawless. But then we find out that she wasn't perfect, and she was one of the tyrannical Diamonds the show has as the main antagonists. She used to be a spoiled brat who threw tantrums, hurt one of her servants, and left her friend/plaything Spinel to stand in a garden for thousands of years. She discovered the beauty of earth and rebelled to save it from being destroyed, even faking the death of her Pink Diamond identity so the rebellion could win. She works her entire life to change and become a better person from who she was. Ultimately she gives up her gem and life so Steven could live before the show begins, and the show has Steven gradually learning about her. She is often hated and seen as a villain and worse than the other Diamonds, who are genocidal tyrants until the very end of the show.

Steven Universe shows Pink Diamond’s arc in reverse. At the beginning of the show, all the characters see Rose as this great hero, this perfect unimpeachable goddess, and over the course of the show we learn that this is a lie — Rose was just as flawed as anyone else, in many was immature, lied to all of her closest friends, was at times very cruel to her loved ones, and spent most of her life unlearning the privilege and entitlement and cruelty which her youth taught her. The last things we learn about Pink Diamond (her abandonment of spinel, her treatment of volleyball) are perhaps the worst things she ever does. But these are also some of the *earliest* things she ever does — this is where she STARTS, and we see in the show that Pink spends a lot of time trying not to be the person who did those things, even if she never undoes them, so that by the end of her life she’s far from perfect but is also in many many important ways not that person. Her decision to become Rose Quartz is in part an attempt to remake herself, to *not be* the childish, callously cruel pink diamond she is meant to be. And rose quartz *is* kind, and works to be good, but she cannot truly stop being that person. In the end, I think we are meant to understand that Rose Quartz decided to become Steven because she wanted to grow and improve in a way she felt that she couldn’t — she KNOWS that she isn’t a good person and can never truly be a good person, so she destroys herself so that Steven can be the good person she can’t be. And her decision to bring steven into the world caused a lot of pain, and maybe it was selfish, but it’s also a fascinating expression of Rose’s self-awareness about her own flaws!!!! I love Rose/Pink for how flawed she is and how much she tries not to be flawed. Anyway a large portion of the SU fandom thinks Pink Diamond is an irredeemable monster. So that’s cool.

Chara Dreemur

There's a lot of bias against Chara for appearing at the end of the Genocide Route, but there's so much more to them than "I want to murder everyone". They're a kid!! They made mistakes and they felt bad for them, and now they're stuck following the player and watching their every move... The fandom misrepresents them very badly imo

Somehow people forgive Asriel for everything he's done as a soulless being after his death, but when it comes to Chara, it's like they're the devil incarnate.

Chara is a character commonly seen as guilty for the genocide run or harmless disregarding them only appearing at the end and posioning Asgore

Poor kid called themselves a demon ONE TIME and then got misrepresented so badly as immoral killer with no sympathy

People constantly blame them for the worst ending of the game, even though the entire point of the game is that the player has a the opportunity to choose senseless violence and that it is the player's fault for killing the characters. They are a troubled child, and while they do some bad things, like taking the player's violent example at the end, most of what the fandom pins on them is in the hands of the player.

#misrepresented morally grey #round 2 #bracket b #steven universe #rose quartz #pink diamond #undertale #chara dreemur

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xerith-42 · 1 month

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@diagoodness I CAN FUCKIN TALK ABOUT EIN

I've. Been thinking about him. Largely about an Ein who learns that he's being abused. An Ein who's able to take some control of his life and get better. Like. He deserves a chance to be better. I think Ein is a frail broken child who made a very poor very desperate cry for help. He doesn't have like. Any. Good social skills. Zach kept him isolated. He didn't have anything until freshman year.

And his attempt to connect went... Badly. [looks at Zach] I'm not blaming all of Ein's bad actions on you, but I am blaming you for what happened in High School. We didn't get anything about what happened after. Because the show doesn't care about it. But me? I care. I care a lot.

I think Elizabeth is Ein's bio mom and Zach is his bio dad, this is canon to me there's nothing you can say to change this. And after she found out about Ein's high school antics, she probably made a case to take custody back from Zach, won, and raised Ein on her own without his influence. And Elizabeth was no saint either, but she was a lot less controlling. Let Ein explore like... Being a person a little.

And if he's lucky enough (i.e. if I'm writing him) he manages to get away from her too. Ein right after all of this is a very fragile and very hostile person. I dunno if you guys have ever met someone fresh out of an abusive environment, but they aren't often pleasant to be around. There's a lot of bad behaviors and mentalities to unlearn, and Ein isn't exactly known for handling emotional vulnerability well. Ein has a lot of issues he's never even had the chance to consider working out, and maybe a genuine desire to be better, but no knowledge on how to do it.

He's a kicked wet puppy with a mean glare.

I firmly believe that Ein just needs one person to be sincerely and unapologetically kind to him. In spite of what he's done. Someone who knows what he did and is able to look past it to the person Ein wants to be, always has been even if he couldn't express it. If someone could know who he was, and still express honest love for him, maybe he isn't beyond saving. Maybe he can get better.

He just needs one person to believe in him.

Anyways totally unrelated to him being my favorite character or me high-key kinning Ein, I like making that person Blaze because Blaze loves being sincere and caring in simple but effective ways.

#im normal about Ein #and Im done being silent about how insane he makes me #Aphblr opened a long sealed Pandora's box and there is no closing it #i dont say this about characters often #but I could fix him #i could fix him #i believe that #he just needs a hug #aphblr #mystreet ein #aphmau ein #ein aphmau #text post #aphverse #mystreet blaze

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ninja-go-to-therapy · 5 months

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The Next Step

Happy four years of Damagemas!

Summary: Cole just wants to get better. But it's easier said than done.

Trigger Warnings: mentioned attempted suicide, pet whump, dehumanization, past abuse, trauma, stockholm syndrome

820 words

Against all odds, time kept moving forward. Even when he… when Cole felt like it never would again. Like time would stop, and everything was stagnant forever.

Somehow, it never stayed like that. He was never alone for long.

The others didn’t trust him not to try and throw himself off the roof again, he guessed. Not that he could blame them. Sometimes he found himself really considering it.

It was all just so much. It had been a month since he’d begun to remember himself. A month since he’d finally admitted that he wanted to get better. He did. He really did.

But god, it was so hard. How was he supposed to just exist for himself again when the last year had taught him just the opposite? He’d been forced to live for one thing, and it certainly hadn’t been for himself.

Learning had been hard. But the unlearning would be so much worse.

Because now he had an audience. He had people who could see what he had become. His family, who looked at him like he was fragile enough to shatter at any second. Not that they were wrong.

He’d used to be solid rock. Strong and sure of himself. But now he was practically untethered, never farther from the source of himself.

How was he supposed to get back? How was he supposed to get them to stop looking at him with such deep pity?

“Cole?”

What if he couldn’t be fixed? What if Master had been right, what if he really was meant to be nothing more than a—

“Cole.” Zane’s voice was firm this time, demanding enough attention for Cole to finally snap out of his quickly spiraling thoughts.

“Huh?” He managed, staring back at his brother, disoriented.

“Your heartbeat is spiking,” he informed, gentler now. “Would you like to try some of those breathing exercises again? Perhaps it would help to calm you down.” He reached out, moving to put a hand on top of his own.

Cole snatched his hand away. “No,” he said, crossing his arms like a barrier, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Of all the questions that would make him snap, that shouldn’t have been one. And yet…

“Am I s—? Yes, Zane, I’m sure. Why wouldn’t I be fine? I remember everything now, don’t I?”

“Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you won’t be experiencing some negative—”

“Negative? No, no, everything is just perfect.” He said, rising in volume. “I’m home. I’ve been home for nearly three months, and I’m—” his voice cracked. “I’m still…” he couldn’t do this. Who was he kidding? “I’m still not better,” he mumbled, giving up on a fit. Of course he wasn’t going to get better. He’d been reshaped from the inside out. Of course he could never be put back to how he was supposed to be.

“Nothing is working,” he admitted, a new wave of despair propelling him to stand abruptly and begin to pace around the coffee table they’d settled in front of. “It’s been months, Zane, and I’m still — still like this. What’s the point? Nothing is working. Nothing — nothing is working,” he cried, angrily wiping tears away. “Why can’t I just get better?”

Zane slowly rose to meet him, taking his shaking hands. “Cole,” he said softly, “you’re being too hard on yourself. What you went through was… deeply traumatic. But the progress you’ve made since we found you has been exceptional. Recovering your repressed memories was no easy task. You’ve been improving far quicker than anyone could have even predicted.”

It didn’t feel true in the slightest, but he knew Zane was right. “But what if I—” he struggled, pulling away. “What if I’m never the same as I… used to be?”

Zane considered him for a moment. “Maybe you won’t be.” He sat back on the couch, beckoning Cole to follow. “When I first discovered who I truly was,” he began, “and I regained my memories of my father… it was hard. I knew I would never again be the person my memories told me I had once been.”

He put his head in his hands, miserable. “It’s not the same thing.”

“It is not,” he amended. “But what I am trying to say is that… our experiences shape us. But they do not have to define us.”

He slowly looked up, vision blurred with tears. “But what if this does?” He croaked, “What if I — what if I can’t ever move past this?”

“I believe you will. Not only are you stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for, but… you are not facing this alone, brother. We will be with you every step of the way.”

He didn’t know how to say that that was part of the problem.

At that moment, Kai poked his head in. “Uh, hey guys? The lawyer’s here.” The pit in his chest sank deeper than ever. Shit.

#merry whumpmas #damage #the damage tree #kat writes #ninjago fanfiction #ninjago #pet whump #dehumanization #trauma #stockholm syndrome #ptsd #attempted suicide tw #dead dove: do not eat #whump #whumpblr #cole ninjago #zane ninjago #angst #hurt/comfort

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raisond-therapy · 1 year

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Working on mindfulness with ASPD is really bewildering; as you go, everything you do in the world seems “wrong” or incorrect and generally it feels impossible to get anything “right”, but when you look back at yourself— with all the ugly mistakes and your barely forgivable past— you realize how far you’ve come to be cringing at that.

Growth, recovery, and healing authentically is so odd because as a process you can barely recognize it happening, especially when you’re constantly wearing yourself down and beating yourself up for not being perfect (for being the way you are innately and attempting to combat that).

But! I’m writing this to tell you that you’re probably doing great! If you’re doing better than you were a week ago, a few months ago, or a year ago, then that’s something worth being proud of yourself over. It’s really difficult to try to be compassionate and kind after having the world teach (and constantly reiterate, even) you that things will never fully be fair or good to you. It’s hard to unlearn and let go of all the things you’ve needed to hold close for practically all your life. This shit is SO hard and no one talks about it because everyone with a Cluster B is immediately irredeemable and we all are unworthy of articles that help with recovery but are worthy of articles on how others can protect themselves from us.

You are not inherently a bad person for having conditions. Abuse makes an abuser— not a personality disorder. If you have historically done bad things that have harmed others, you can get back up for yourself. You can make this. Live your life.

#aspd #aspd traits #aspd thoughts #cluster b #cluster b pd #personality disorder #antisocial personality disorder

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brittanyautumn333 · 6 months

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Thoughts on the “twin flame” dynamic - from an experienced spiritualist

Ok so apparently there’s a documentary out about a cult based on the “twin flame” dynamic. I wanted to talk about this as someone who has practiced esotericism/spirituality for almost 15 years. I did not hear about this relationship dynamic prior to about 2020. This is not to say it hasn’t existed, it has just not been in my realm of understanding until that point.

Firstly, I should say that I ABSOLUTELY believe that spiritual, fated connections exist. I have experienced them myself multiple times during my life. From my perspective, we have multiple soulmates in this lifetime.

The premise of a Twin Flame connection is the “runner vs chaser” dynamic. I won’t fully explain it here, as it would be a long ass post. My personal issue is that runner vs chaser dynamic is present in PLENTY of connections - that are NOT spiritual in nature, and in fact, toxic.

It’s within these “twin flame” connections that we find plenty of spiritual bypassers - those who want to reap the benefits of spirituality and live for an “aesthetic” and end result of their spiritual journey. Knowledgeable and experienced spiritualists know that our journey towards removing and working with the conditioning developed during our lifetimes never ends. And the result certainly doesn’t involve anyone else but ourselves. If you look at the Subreddit r/twinflame, you’ll see so many of them. Giving up on their entire journey, simply due to a need for instant gratification regarding an ACTUAL PERSON. Who is fated to be here and make their own choices.

These TF connections center heavily on rumination and limerence in some cases. So many of these folks don’t have the understanding that what is FOR you is inevitable. This is not to say it will be easy, love and care require understanding and a significant amount of trust.

Also, a large part of the dynamic is that your twin flame will undergo a transformation and awakening on their own. I am incredibly skeptical of this. In my experience, cis men aren’t often understanding of spiritual concepts. Not because of ignorance, but because of stubbornness. A lot of this knowledge simply can not be unlearned. Many cis men enjoy living spiritually draining lifestyles. Spirituality involves stepping into unknown and uncomfortable territory. Spirituality brings guilt and shame initially, until YOU YOURSELF can forgive yourself for your past. Men don’t always have proper emotional support, so this can be difficult. I have been practicing celibacy for a while now. I cancelled my cable and internet at my home. I removed alcohol and drugs from the equation. All in an attempt to sit in my discomfort, and learn more about myself and my path. Many people in general can not do this, as it is a brief inconvenience.

This is not to suggest the superiority of a divine feminine. Masculine and feminine energies serve equal purposes on earth. Concepts of divine masculine and feminine are gender neutral, and have stood the test of time. It’s universal knowledge predating our modern concepts of gender. We are all on different paths. One is no better than the other, because the destination is the same. Our lives are meant to be filled with learning, love, and gratitude. All I am saying is that unbalanced masculine energy is a creator without a delegator. Excessive creation of energy, particularly negative energy, leads to burnout. Which leads to Egoic decision making. Which leads to karmic cycles continuing, and lessons not being learned even when the message is clear. Comfort in discomfort is better than stepping into the unknown for some.

The twin flame dynamic has also become heavily commercialized, which should be a huge red flag for any spiritualist. Spiritual bypassers are paying thousands of dollars for “classes” from spiritualists who are new themselves to the practice. Tarot readings every single day. Buying $200+ workings from practitioners. All in an attempt to win someone back spiritually. I will say it again, WHAT IS MEANT FOR YOU IS COMING NO MATTER WHAT. If you truly believe you have a spiritual connection with someone, let it go and see if it stands the test of time and distance. You do not have to light 100 candles over a loser, babe. What is planned for you involves divine timing and intervention. Let me say this, inserting my own personal opinion; love magic is unethical. Spiritual bypassers who don’t even direct their questions or requests will attach themselves to nasty spirits. They dont even realize that love magic not only attaches that person to YOU, BUT YOU TO THEM! They try divination with spirits and deities from multiple cultures, not even knowing that some are representative of the same being, and some are incompatible to work with each other. Some spirits, deities and ancestors are NOT friendly. Not every spirit will tell you the truth. Divination requires practice, concentration. Asking questions without centering yourself will give you answers based on your own bias and conditioning. If not from a deceptive spirit. For example, sex clouds my own personal judgement. So I do not have sex often, to keep my thoughts clear and thorough.

What is for you is already here. It’s yours.

#twinflame #spirituality

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creepereyes · 1 year

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I can’t believe antis are still spouting the ‘Billy was a violent racist how can you like him?!’ argument.

One vague line doesn’t prove anything, and I guarantee you Billy would’ve reacted the exact same way if it had been Mike, Will or Dustin pestering Max in those scenes.

Even if Dacre himself confirmed that Billy WAS a little racist, people can change. Racism can be unlearned, and I’m going to make a Stranger Things/The Walking Dead comparison post that might give antis an aneurysm.

You don’t have to be familiar with The Walking Dead to understand this post, but I’d say it’s worth a read especially if you like both shows.

This post is going to get long so I’m inserting a read more.

Billy is not an irredeemable monster. He never uses racist slurs and never hate crimes Lucas. Pushing someone against the wall and scolding them is not attempted murder. Lastly, he’s a teenager. It’s not like he’s a dude in his 40′s bullying an 8th grader.

All these Billy antis need to watch The Walking Dead, specifically the first three seasons. Why, you ask? Because that show had a racist character who was on the track to changing his ways and becoming a better person.

In TWD season 1 episode 2 we meet Merle Dixon, older brother of series favorite Daryl Dixon. Merle is a violent, unapologetic racist who, shortly after being introduced, provokes a black man into attacking him so he has an ‘excuse’ to beat him up. He’s a terrible person. (Though early series Daryl is no saint either, he’s quick to violence and is often hostile to other members of the group).

After Merle saws his own hand off to escape a bad situation, he goes missing for over a season. When he comes back, he’s different. He’s still an asshole and while he still drops a racial slur, he doesn’t sling the n-word anymore and shows the odd moment of compassion. As the season progresses, we start to understand why Merle is the way he is and that he has more layers than expected. Much like Billy, he has sides to him that other people rarely see, and that really shines when he interacts with Herschel, the one person who shows him kindness.

As unpredictable as Merle is, he does the right thing in the end. And guess who really gets through to him and convinces him to do the right thing?

Michonne, a black woman.

Just like Billy, Merle sacrifices his own life and dies to protect a group of people who don’t give a shit about him, and is then mourned only by a younger sibling with whom he had a very complicated relationship.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s no justifying or excusing his hateful actions in season 1. We as viewers are supposed to have conflicting feelings about Merle. He starts off as a racist asshole, but he turns out to be more complex than he seems, and if he lived past season 3 I’m confident he could’ve really changed for the better. In my opinion, Merle is a great character because despite his heinous past actions, he’s complex, layered and interesting. His interactions with other characters are fantastic and his actor, Michael Rooker, did a great job giving more depth to a character that could’ve easily been a one-note villain. (Sound familiar?)

My point? Anyone can change. If a 50 year old violent racist can begin changing his ways, so can a teenage boy.

If Billy had survived season 3 and gotten away from his abusive father, he would’ve changed too. It would take time and he’d need support, but it would’ve happened. He could’ve formed healthy relationships. He could’ve teamed up with Steve, Robin, Eddie and Nancy to kick Vecna’s crusty ass.

Antis blatantly refuse to admit it, but Billy would’ve changed and flourished if he got out of his toxic home and had people believe in him.

They just can’t handle a character with layers.

#billy hargrove deserved better #billy antis dni #pro billy hargrove #not tagging twd because I don't want to get swarmed with Merle antis who accuse me of being racist

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biggeth · 1 year

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WIP of Automaton, as of 24 May. One of the great challenges for me with regards to my recordings this year has been sorting out what to do with my voice. My whole life I’ve received negative feedback on my singing voice almost exclusively. Until quite recently, I’ve been encouraged by listeners to let others be the primary/sole vocalist in all my work, which makes obvious sense when my collaborators’ talents are considered but still made me feel bad. Only in the past several months have I gotten any positive singing feedback from anyone except my partner, but even that has been couched in “we never knew you were actually good”. When said about something as personal as the voice, and my voice being a quality I have learned to be exceptionally sensitive and guarded about, those compliments I only took as, at best, condescending. I’ve had a lifelong habit of shirking what I perceive to be mainstream measures of success. Instead, I seek different ways to define myself, by which I could possibly be among the very best, unlike the standards presented to me. This is not a strength. I despise this quality, even, and it has had negative, material consequences in my life. However, until I unlearn this vile tendency, it is part of me, and I must understand myself accurately. Inspired by vocalists like Sue Tompkins of Life Without Buildings, Tim Darcy of Ought, and Isaac Wood of Black Country, New Road (and many others), I resolved to find my own lane in which my voice could succeed. “Shouty” I had been called when I still sang with my high school band. I stopped singing in that group after a couple of years. “Have the other singers sing more” was the thought offered upon hearing my college group, for which I was bandleader, sole songwriter, producer, engineer, nearly every credit possible. How deflating for months of work representing the height of my technical and artistic achievement to be chewed up and spat out as “less You would make this better”. That record was the purest distillation of my creative voice possible, and someone told me they’d rather have less of my actual voice on it. Crushing. If I couldn’t succeed at singing Well, I’d just make my own rubric. Get expressive, intense, own my own Shoutiness and just talk and shout and monologue. Sometimes I took that too far. But it felt good to lean into my identity in such a bold way, and sometimes receive positive feedback from people who Got It. Automaton (finally the real subject of the post) is lyrically about lots of things. The production choice to double-track my vocals is the relevant quality, though. Double-tracking vocals isn’t new or experimental. There’s a great history of artists using this as a signature sound, like Phoebe Bridgers and Elliott Smith, to pick just two serial offenders. But for me, it was a step into the great wide open. It’s my attempt to reel myself back in to more traditional singing, but push for a new aesthetic I had never tried. I haven’t settled on the choice yet, but making that choice at all is an act of reclamation of my voice lost.

#independent music #indie music #indie folk #singer songwriter #Michael Richardson #the madeleines #diy music #singing #phoebe bridgers #elliott smith #ought #ought band #bcnr #black country new road #automaton #wip

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harristops · 2 years

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Are we sure they are aware of it though? I know Gotham made a post but neither are even on Twitter enough. Not that im defending them, they should say something. It's not like they're really friends with her. Ash has known her for years but it's not as though they're close either. Honestly, Gotham should get a lot backlash if she still has the armband this weekend.

How could they not be? Bro, imagine if their kid was born Indigenous. Would they have stayed silent then, too? Maybe they wouldn't know then either? We can't excuse the silence and I know you're not defending them but c'mon they definitely have to know.

Ash once claimed to be Native American on her dads side, hence why she got that tattoo. If that's the case, why wouldn't she speak out against what the captain said? If she truly identifies or has family that are Native American, are you truly okay with what your captain said? It just doesn't make sense.

I get there might be some legalize involved in keeping quiet bro but at what cost? It's like other people said, if they can't tweet about it, the least they can do is vote McCall off the captain band or at the very minimum retweet Madison's tweet which again, provides helpful perspective on how to decolonize the way we talk and unlearn harmful phrases or sayings. But they did nothing. So no, I don't care if they're not aware because honestly that would be worse than being willfully ignorant, imo. If they keep saying they are striving to change the future of women's sports to be more inclusive of all people, gender, sexuality, culture, then prove it. Speak out when it's inconvenient. Use your massive platform to advocate for the rights of those who don't have the same privileges or power. At the very least, come to the defense of the sole Indigenous person in the fucking league and show her she's not alone.

And I am not just talking about the wives. I am talking about every person in the NWSL. The fact people haven't retweeted Madison and told her that they appreciate her vulnerability and courage to speak out (because imagine how terrifying that could've been) and to do it with such grace, professionalism, and class---all the while McCall throws a sob fest for racist ass---is bullshit if you ask me. You want the make the league safer for players, then do it. Right now you have an egotistical White woman running her mouth with no repercussions and the sole person verbally calling her out is the person from the community she is harming. I am so tired of the excuses we give White women and how much leeway we give them for "forgiveness" when they barely apologize.

I don't want to hear another thing from anyone about how they use their platform to advocate for change, the wives or otherwise. Show me you actually care by doing something and making good on those promises. Show us exactly what you as a team are discussing, the resources you are using, the people you are speaking to and the things you are learning. Show us action.

The fact that McCall can't even muster up a proper apology and her half-assed attempt to correct herself after the fact shows me she doesn't care. The fact Gotham's blanket statement of handling things internally while producing no results (Scott not speaking about it independently, Gotham refusing to take her armband or better yet, fire her), shows me they don't care. No one cares about what she said or depth of how much the words she used perpetuate hurt and harm against Indigenous communities.

I know what you meant in your ask, and you're right not to defend the wives. Anyone who says the wives, or anyone else on the team (Midge, Kristie, Nicole-all of them, but especially all the damned White women) are absolved of any guilt or blameless are part of the problem. If you are going to tell people you want to use your platform for advocacy, then you don't just get to advocate when it's convenient or it's the current zeitgeist.

Pinoe was willing to risk her career when she first knelt. And she didn't give a damn because she realized sport is not as important as ensuring equal rights for all. That's true activism. Now I don't agree with everything that she has done but she's done one hell of a lot more than other people.

All I can blindly hope is that the team and front office talked about this in depth and actually learned from the mistakes she made. I hope they're figuring out ways to undo the harm that's been done. Honestly the easiest solution is to make Dorsey captain and bench Zerboni at least a few days. But they have to do something other than just give a blanket statement for real.

#asks #this turned into a long ass ramble but you're right that if they can't speak about they can't #but being at risk for being fired for speaking out didn't stop Pinoe #So it's not an excuse I'm sorry

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crows-spells · 2 years

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hello, my name is t. i have a lot to me and my story, if you want like to know about it, lmk. but im not here to talk about the old story, but how to change from it? i suffer from borderline personality disorder. you can do your research, but to summarize i have really high highs (manic episodes) and really low lows (depressive episodes). so i am extremely prone to spirals and etc. ive been in a toxic manifestation cycle where ive found a new method, failed at it and haven’t gotten results, then i would over-consume and attempt self concept then end up spiralling when i saw people with what i had and realized that my deadline is getting closer and closer (2 weeks) and then search for a new method again. it is so easy to just wallow in your sadness, especially when the media glorifies sadness and makes you jealous of others. ive been in this cycle for 3 years. ive tried to restart my journey by taking breaks and doing things that “i love”, but if you struggle with mental health or know anyone who does, you know it’s not easy to think a certain way or feel a certain way because of your mental illness. i want to restart my journey. not the ways i did before, not by taking a break then noticing that i haven’t manifested my desires and forcing myself to work on self concept or try a new method. i want to unlearn everything and learn what i need and actually do it correctly this time. but i don’t know how to make manifestation not feel like a chore and find a way to do that suits me. here’s the thing, i know basically any answer to any question you could ask me about manifestation and i know how to act on it. but people have different ways they can manifest and what’s subjective to them and i need help finding my way to manifest that isn’t toxic and causes me to spiral and look for a new method. preferably we could dm and you could help me, but replying to my anonymous message is just as efficient. but it gets confusing when you’ve fed yourself so much information from so many different sources, id prefer if you could also recommend a few loa blogs to look at too, so i don’t scroll through 10 million. it sounds contradictory when you’ve consumed so much, but it’s really only because everyone believes and thinks differently. i just want to actually manifest what i want this time and before my deadline. i want to get what i want and not be hindered by my mental health or hinder it even more as a result of failed attempts from every method known to man. how do i reconstruct my mindset and find a routine / way to manifest that fits me even with my mental illness (my parents don’t believe in therapy, so i can’t get treated for it)? especially something to help when i spiral and self sabotage (please let me know if you would like to dm and talk one on one)

-long read-

first off, i wanna encourage you, cuz i really do think you’re on the right track. i would go back and forth until i got tired of it and put my foot down and decided i’m not taking anything less than what i want, and it looks like you’re at that point too. we know that what we want is out there and that we’re gonna get it, but it can be tiring exhausting and frustrating. but it doesn’t have to be, don’t put up with it anymore! you deserve better!

before we start

• i am not a mental health professional

• i am not diagnosed with anything

• take whatever advice/ideas/mindset feels right and leave whatever doesn’t resonate

• feel free to dm me.

let me remind you right off the bat that you can have ANYTHING. no matter what it is. so i suggest manifesting therapy anyway, because it doesn’t matter that your parents aren’t for it, you’re the creator of your reality and what you decide for you is what is right, your parents could change their mind in an instant. no matter what it is you can manifest it. don’t hold back at all, because manifesting takes 0 effort so just make everything right! you know what i mean?

and alongside this i want to remind you that not only can you have anything, but that it’s easy to as well. literally nothing can stop you, block you, hold you back or make it difficult in any way. being BPD does not make it any harder because we are limitless beings, right? i know quite a few people with disorders such as bipolar and borderline personality disorder who are quite dear to me, they have such absolutely brilliant beautiful minds and that disorder cannot hinder you. just know that you can have anything you want no matter what! no matter if you have a bad day, or spiral or have a depressive episode, you’re still manifesting that whole time.

also i want you to know that you have the power to say that ur not gonna manifest bad things. like in the instance that you do spiral, you’re the one who decides whether that will manifest or not. you can choose to say “my bad thoughts can’t manifest” we think thousands of thoughts a day, but the whole time our mind is judging bad or good, wanted or unwanted, realistic or unrealistic. so just decide what’s realistic and what’s not. that’s up to YOU!

let’s use a silly example because i don’t know what you’re manifesting. if you are imagining that you just start floating around the ceiling, your brain is gonna say whether or not you think that’s realistic. if you just keep telling yourself that it’s realistic then it will be, but if you keep up the conviction that “no that’s not possible, how would that happen?” then you’ll be persisting in that reality.

it’s pretty simple in words, but in practice our brains just don’t stay on track. i mean to be fair, that in itself an assumption and is subject to change. i’ve started affirming that i automatically stay loyal to my desires. not that wording specifically but i basically just imply that my mind is always remembering the new story and that manifestation and living in the end is automatic. but it’s okay if you get off track. it’s okay if you forget who you are for a moment. cuz this moment is a new possibility and consciousness is endless. as i’ve been affirming this i’ve noticed my mindset change, i’ve noticed myself automatically assuming for the better. your mind and thoughts are also manifestations and assumptions that are up to you.

it literally does not matter if you spiral, how long you spiral or how often. like i said, you’re deciding whether your thoughts are realistic or if they’ll manifest, so it doesn’t matter to be honest. you can fully revise spiraling or negative thoughts or just assume that all that was silly daydreams that have nothing to do with your reality and go back to living in the end like nothing ever happened!

you want to find your way and unlearn everything, that’s great! that’s what i felt i needed to do, so i’m gonna get you started with everything you need to know. you already know this, you already always knew exactly what you needed to do, so this is really just a reminder.

you manifest whatever you assume is true

there, that’s it, that’s all you need to know. now you can start writing your own rules. such as only being able to manifest positive and wanted things and negative stuff never manifests. that you always get what you want by/before the deadline. whatever you want. just choose your assumptions, that’s all we’re doing, and that’s all we ever did before we just didn’t know we were doing it.

so from now on “methods” aren’t a thing. you’re just living your life and anything you do gets you what you want!! whether you still use things considered as methods or not, because personally, i do affirm. but my affirmations are just me reminding myself what is true. sometimes i notice myself saying my affirmations anxiously and have to remind myself that they’re already true and i’m not making anything happen. it doesn’t matter how many times you have to remind yourself of the new story or remind yourself that you’re powerful. it WILL become automatic. just let yourself believe, let yourself entertain the thought, because you KNOW what you assume is true is true. you know damn well in your soul that it works otherwise you wouldn’t have put so much effort into it. revise everything. anything you got tripped up on before, forget about it, never happened. you understand manifesting completely and you always do it right. you’re already doing everything right you’ve just been telling yourself for some reason that it’s not working or that it wont. that little voice exists for all of us, but what you feed only grows. so starve out the doubt because it’s dependent on you. everything in the world is dependent on your belief in it.

i think sometimes we tell ourselves no and forget that we’re allowed to change that answer. when you were a kid you were told “you can’t always get what you want” but you were also told “you can be anything! you can do anything! life is beautiful!” and i think we just take the first one more seriously and decide that’s the truth but u gotta realize you can change the rules at any moment just as easily as when you set them. what you decide is the truth is the only thing set in stone. so decide. right now just decide the rules. and every day as you go along, keep writing the rules. you can change it all in an instant. anything someone says is just an option, a possibility, you don’t have to take it so seriously because it’s no more difficult to change. you are the only source of creation! you already know all these things inherently, and here you tell me that you’re also consciously aware of these, you know everything there is to know. so now it’s your turn to write some rules and live life as you please.

this is the way to not make it feel like a chore. writing your own rules and just being yourself. switch from learning mode and doing mode to living mode, being mode. how do you do that? it’s easy. just say it’s done. just say “i am doing everything correctly right now.” boom! you did it! congratulations i am so f*****g proud of you! wasn’t that so easy? and it doesn’t feel any different because this is your reality now. you are right now consciously only choosing what you want. nobody else’s rules matter except T’s rules. you have everything you want. play pretend. imagine yourself living the life you want to. it’s safe to, i promise! there’s nothing left to be done or to think about or to try! it’s finished! it’s safe to just go on and be the person you wish you were or have the things you wish you had because you ARE and you DO!

you can now have fun with manifesting! you can just focus on fun things and manifesting for others and manifesting all the stuff you wanted to manifest in the future “when you got better at manifesting” cuz you’re literally so good at manifesting right now! manifesting is fun cuz u literally don’t have to do anything.

let me tell u a secret also 🫢 ur allowed to consume as much info as u want

yeah literally. overconsumption doesn’t exist. it’s just ur attitude/mindset. are you scrolling blogs thinking “i gotta find a new method i gotta figure out how to make this happen this time” or reading asks like “look they are failing too, i wonder what we’re doing wrong” or are you instead, reading blogs and asks with the knowing that it’s done? because one mindset will continue to manifest uncertainty and insecurity and the other will manifest more confidence in your power and manifest automatically that you have everything because you just know. how do you KNOW though? that’s what confused me when i first got on LoA tumblr. like how can i do that? don’t i either know or not know? just tell yourself you know it once twice, a million times until it catches on. but all it really takes is just once. just start introducing the concepts you want to yourself as fact until they catch on and become so. saying until makes it seem like it will take time but really that’s not the case. the shift happens instantly, but your mind might be asking some questions or challenging that. it doesn’t mean anything, just keep pushing, keep persisting. there’s only one moment, this one right now. what you feed in this moment will only get stronger in this moment.

i started years ago with law of attraction and i would go back and forth and get myself all confused, switching up my beliefs, changing my desires cuz i thought some of them would be too hard to achieve, changing methods because the old ones “weren’t working” but i realized a bit ago that i’m smarter than i think, and i could have had everything since day one i just didn’t think it was possible then. but i know better now. i know i write the rules. that’s all that really matters. it doesn’t matter how many blogs i read because i don’t let myself take in others limiting beliefs. it doesn’t matter if i sit around sulking or doubting because i can get back up again and decide none of that was true. i was real bad for a long time feeling helpless and hopeless and thinking the stuff i did wouldn’t work. but i had to change that story that i was telling myself, and that’s all it took. i haven’t been depressed in a while but i know that if that ever happens again i’ll be okay and still be able to manifest. i know that all my emotions are natural and okay, but what i tell myself/believe is what makes the difference. i did have to force myself to stop focusing on the negative, but that came with the determination and knowing that i’m either gonna do this or not do it, so it’s not really worth it to sulk. it’s either gonna work or not work and either way i’d rather be thinking about what i want. but still, i have also successfully manifested things while feeling anxious, depressed or just awful in general. so i know for a fact it’ll never matter that i’m not mentally well sometimes because i’ll still get what i want.

your feelings, reactions, and interpretations are normal and okay. y jealously is normal and okay. just remind yourself you already have it. seeing someone else with what you want in the 3D should be a celebration!!! like omg that’s something you want and it exists in the world for you to have. everyone is you pushed out so someone else having it is really just proof that it’s yours already. so it’s okay if you feel jealous at first. don’t ever beat yourself up for your feelings. honor them and respect them but remind yourself who you are. you’re god. i mean i was raised christian and was told our god is a jealous god so tbh jealousy is godly and okay. just don’t let it manifest as you still not having it. turn it around and let that be you. see yourself with it cuz it’s already yours. i don’t have to tell you what to do, you’re gonna figure out all of how to deal with each thing on your own, writing your own rules and just letting go of whatever doesn’t work for you cuz you know you can do this your way. you wouldn’t have written this ask if you didn’t think it was possible, and you thinking of it as a possibility means it’s already yours, so i’m not worried ab you at all, you got this. i think you already figured it out, cuz once you decided to unlearn the bullshit and do it your way, you already stepped into your power. so by the time you read this i assume you know what to do. i’m proud of you. feel free to dm me but i know you got this

i hope this helped!

p.s. i’m sorry this is so long but you sound JUST LIKE ME so i feel like i’m telling past me what i needed to hear. i’m sending u love and knowing that everything is gonna work out for u

edit:

i meant to say this before but i forgot. i don’t know who to suggest cuz i kinda just scroll on this app. there’s some that do stick out to me as really good so i’ll try to compile a list but also i don’t really know anyone v well.

#manifestation #loa #manifest #law of assumption #neville goddard #how to manifest #loassumption #manifesting #law of assumtion #law of attraction #asks #asks open #answered asks #self concept

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peace-coast-island · 3 months

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Diary of a Junebug

Unexpected encounters in the waters of the Mosaic Resort

What better way to get away from the long monotony of cold winter days than a bright and sunny resort? Landry called me up as she and the Epiphany just got back from a long mission and are planning to stay at the Mosaic for a short break. Not only the Mosaic’s a couple hours from the camp, there’s this crafting item called mosaic stones that Isabelle and Reese have been interested in getting their hands on.

Of course, things worked out on our end since I don’t have anything going on - same for Isabelle, Daisy Jane, and the others. The Mosaic Resort’s usually super busy, which is part of the reason why Isabelle and I kept putting off a visit there. Mosaic stones aren’t rare, but it feels kinda weird for us to come in and take a bunch of them when there’s so many visitors around. At least around this month when business is a bit slow, I won’t feel as bad for taking all these pretty stones back to the camp.

While the Mosaic Resort is known for it’s architecture, the real magic of the place is underwater. It’s home to many unusual plants and shells, almost like a world of its own. And of course, there’s the mosaic stones, which are named that because they really look like mosaic tiles. I can’t wait to see what we can make out of them.

While the main reason for the trip was to explore the underwater and collect little treasures, we got kinda distracted by another unexpected discovery. It’s kind of a long story that started a few years back and there’s still a lot of gaps to fill in. Unfortunately, with the person in question unable to really say or do anything, all we can do is speculate for now.

To start, a couple years ago, Landry had an encounter with a debt collector from the Interstellar Factions known as Jewel. Not only she was very well known in her department for her work ethic, she also always had two companions by her side. One is her pet starfox Sushi, the other being a teddy bear named Strawberry Milk, who she kept in her messenger bag full of documents and records. Simply put, she was a big deal in both a good way and a bad way.

Landry described Jewel as someone with good intentions, but was severely misguided. She and Yang can go on about what’s wrong with the Interstellar Faction’s debt collector department as a whole and why that whole department eventually fell apart, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. In other words, it’s kinda similar to the situation with the Eagle Stellarons in which it poses itself as a noble cause when in reality, they’re nothing but a bunch of self serving backstabbers who benefit off of other people’s suffering.

Damn, to think that those people were the ones in power, and to have been for so long. At least now they’re forced to face the consequences and pay the price for their actions. What comes around goes around, I guess.

Since I’m comparing the debt collectors to the Eagle Stellarons, I guess Della and Jewel are alike in that regard. While Della had never interacted with Jewel personally, she’s heard of her, at least, how she operated. Seeing their similarities, it makes sense why Della’s interested in knowing more about Jewel and what happened to her after getting expelled from the Interstellar Factions. Some similarities Della pointed out were that they both basically got their position through nepotism, and they never really saw eye to eye with their superiors to the point that they thought distancing themselves from the main group makes a difference.

In an attempt to figure out Jewel’s motives, Della has her own theories based from her perspective and personal experiences why so many people with good intentions are unintentionally complicit in causing harm, and why so many of them refuse to own up to that. I appreciate that she’s taking the time to reflect on herself and is willing to hold herself accountable, as well as admit that she has a lot to learn and unlearn. It’s not a black and white situation, and in reality, no one really falls into a clear category of “good” and “bad”, which is what I think trips up most people when trying to analyze stuff like this.

The biggest takeaway Della got from the fallout of the Eagle Stellarons is this: No matter how good your intentions were, even if you’re being as selfless as possible, you are still capable of doing harm, especially when you feel that it’s necessary to step on other people in order to get things done. Also, you can detach yourself and denounce the other party all you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that you were complicit, whether intentional or not, of contributing to the conflict. That was difficult for her to accept, and she admits that she’s still struggling with it, but that’s the truth. You can either own up to your mistakes and learn from them, or you can bury your head in the sand and play ignorance.

Again, this ties to Landry’s description of Jewel as someone who wants to help people, but her methods of doing so ultimately do more harm than good. Part of the issue was the nature of her job as a debt collector, and those from the Interstellar Factions were known as two faced for good reason. Laufey also met her briefly in the past and thought she was a nice person at first because of how friendly she was. She said Jewel gave off the impression that she was solely there for business and lecture, nothing out of the ordinary.

In reality, Jewel was responsible for evicting an entire neighborhood over a 300 year old debt that was practically impossible to pay off that had absolutely nothing to do with the residents who had been living there anyway. She and Landry later found out that Jewel intentionally stirred up conflict between the neighborhood and the city so she and the debt collectors could take over easily. But even after all that, Laufey said she seemed kinda conflicted, which probably explains why she ended up defying orders later on.

And that leads to the last encounter Landry had with Jewel that led to her demotion. Laufey was tagging along with her on a trip to Acapella to attend a celebration after helping the planet with a crisis a while back. Jewel was there to put a damper on the celebration with a centuries long debt that shouldn’t have existed in the first place due to various circumstances.

So Jewel and her people just came marching in guns blazing and the people obviously protested. And like the previous encounter, she successfully pitted two sides against each other with her proposed solution, which would basically make the citizens forever indebted to the debt collectors. Not wanting a repeat of what happened last time, Laufey tried to take matters into her own hands by trying to reason with Jewel as well as encourage the people of Acapella to stand up for themselves when the other debt collectors tried to push them around.

Long story short, the situation escalated to the point that Jewel and her subordinates were giving conflicting information, resulting in even more chaos and fighting. Laufey said it seemed like she really wanted to help Acapella’s people, but she didn’t seem to understand why they didn’t accept her solution. From how it sounds, Jewel sounds like the kind of person who comes in thinking she knows what’s best for everyone without considering how they might feel about it.

From my experience, I find those kinds of people difficult to get along with. Sure, they may have good intentions and genuinely want to help, but the problem is that they think they’re above everyone else. They expect you to be grateful for stepping in when they’re really just walking all over you and talking over you. Sometimes it’s good to have an outsider’s perspective, but not so much when they flat out ignore your own experiences and feelings. It’s like they’re too blinded by potential that they can’t see the real and tangible that’s often right in front of their faces.

And then there’s those who get overly defensive when you ask them to take a step back. I don’t know, it’s kinda like they expect you to be grateful to the point that you willingly accept what they say and do without question. I really don’t like the whole “I know you better than you know yourself” kind of attitude some people hold. It’s even worse when they do it because they secretly don’t like certain parts of you and would rather see you as an idealized version that fits their standards.

According to Laufey, things got really messy before Landry came in to save the day. After pointing out the glaring flaws in the solution Jewel proposed, Landry made some calls and put her and her subordinates in a difficult position. In other words, Jewel and her people crossed a lot of boundaries that exist for good reasons, and given the situation regarding Acapella’s debt - which, again, should have been forgiven considering the circumstances - Acapella has every right to take legal action against the Interstellar Factions.

Like Laufey said, Jewel seems to be a reasonable person. She realized that she dug a hole for herself and accepted that the only way out was to take full responsibility for what happened. Not only that, she also went out of her way to personally apologize to Acapella’s officials for the troubles she and her people caused. As for the sincerity of her actions, the others felt that she was genuinely remorseful about how things escalated.

All Landry knew was that Jewel got a demotion and a cut in pay. As for what happened after, she had to do some digging. The incident at Acapella seemed to set something off in Jewel as she began defying her orders and acting out. She speculates that it’s a combination of her feeling the need to save the day while trying to one up her detractors. Again, good intentions, but severely misguided to the point where she became nothing but trouble.

While the Interstellar Factions’s debt collectors already have a bad name, Jewel seemed intent on driving their reputation further into the ground than it already was. They were already shady to begin with, and so Jewel pretty much put the final nail in the coffin by highlighting everything wrong with them. Not too long after Jewel was fired, the Interstellar Factions was pressured to shut down their debt collector department.

From there, this is where things get hazy. Landry’s still trying to find out more information, so this is all she has for now. Jewel got herself tangled up with some people with questionable track records. Eventually, she got into a lot of legal troubles and later served time for reasons currently unknown that likely have to do with a murder case. So, her records are likely full of red tape with the word redacted written all over them. Not surprising, to say the least.

And that brings us to the present. According to records, Jewel was released about a month ago. After getting kicked out of the Interstellar Factions, it seems like she went on a downward spiral, throwing her professionalism and rationality out of the window. Because of all the legal troubles and the bridges she burned, by the time she got out, she basically had nothing except for Sushi and Strawberry Milk.

With nowhere to go, she likely wandered around until maybe she decided that she had enough and just gave up on life. And that was probably how Jewel almost ended up at the bottom of the Mosaic River. Had Landry not run into Sushi and Strawberry Milk, Jewel would be dead by now.

We were collecting mosaic stones and admiring the scenery when Jiangyi spotted something in the distance. Landry and Laufey recognized the frantically swimming figure as Sushi, who, in turn, recognized them. Seeing how distressed Sushi looked, Landry followed her. Let’s just say the last thing I’d expect to see is someone trying to let themselves be swallowed up by the waters of the Mosaic.

As it turns out, it looks like we just barely got to her in time. Good thing we’re all CPR certified, which meant we didn’t hesitate as soon as she got out of the water - something we were told pretty much improved her chances of survival by a lot. She was already breathing again by the time the ambulance came.

Right now, Jewel’s stable, but in bad shape. Since she has no emergency contacts or family, Landry’s stepping in and keeping tabs on her. Although we saved her from drowning, she has another hurdle to overcome - pneumonia. Since she’s been living out on the streets for a while, it’s no surprise that she’s in a weakened condition. Landry and Laufey almost didn’t recognize her if it wasn’t for her unusual hair colors, which is a sort of beige white with light blue and purple streaks.

Because she has to be sedated for the ventilator, there’s not much we can do but wait around and hope for the best. There’s no way of determining exactly how long she’s been sick and without treatment - a couple weeks at most - and so the doctors don’t know if there’ll be complications. Even if Jewel recovers physically, her mental state remains a concern. After all, she intended to kill herself, and given what we’ve uncovered about her situation so far, I mean, who can blame her?

Landry has been apologizing for putting a damper on our adventure by being concerned about Jewel’s wellbeing, but I don’t mind. She’s clearly worried about her, and if Jewel truly has no one else besides her companions, Landry should be with her. Laufey’s saddened by this turn of events too and is really hoping that she pulls through. We all are.

For now, we’ve been carrying on as usual, exploring the Mosaic Resort and collecting mosaic stones. Yang managed to talk Landry out of camping out in the hospital waiting room, reminding her that the Epiphany’s a family and that she shouldn’t be shouldering this alone. By that, he means that not only she should take some time for herself, but also let the others help her out. Isabelle, Daisy Jane, and I offered to take shifts too, but Landry said it wasn’t necessary, though she appreciated the gesture. Still, we felt it would help to accompany the others, mainly Laufey, Della, and Fionna, so that’s what we did.

Fionna’s been there before, life just barely hanging on a thread when you’re at your lowest. Aside from physical recovery, she says the will to live is what really determines your fate, is how she puts it. Sure, Jewel might be in for a rude awakening when she comes to, but she has to accept that she’s here, she’s alive, and what happens next is entirely up to her. It’ll be a long road, and far from an easy one.

After learning about Jewel, I can’t help but be invested in her too. I hope, especially for her sake, that she pulls through. This may be beside the point, but I think she’d be a good fit for the Epiphany. I mean, she’s a lost wanderer in need of a clean slate - and it seems like Della and Fionna are the closest to understanding what she’s going through. We were lucky to have found her when we did, so we want to make sure that she’s in good hands.

Life can be full of unexpected twists and turns. I really hope this is one of those good moments where small actions can make a positive impact.

Read on AO3

#animal crossing pocket camp #diary of a junebug #headcanon ramble

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steveskafte · 7 months

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HAVEN'T FIGURED I think the hardest challenge we're ever presented with is being legitimately ourselves. Most don't like to admit it, but there are no entirely instinctual humans among us. We've all made a certain effort at altering our original identities. From boy to man, girl to woman, from wild child to ultra-mature adult. I underwent a fairly conscious shift from a kid who couldn't keep his thoughts straight, into a passionate and (relatively) focused writer. I changed from an intensely shy mumbler and mild stutterer, to someone who doesn't mind being interviewed on TV and radio, busking on the sidewalk, or giving talks to crowded rooms. None of this just "happened". I woke up every day with a decision about the kind of person I wanted to be, and did everything possible to make that happen. Some see an individual attempting to alter their gender, and think: "I would never do something so extreme." But we all did it, in a way. I'm surrounded by men I knew as scared little boys, and watched them choke down tears and bury emotions until they reached their masculine ideal. I knew tomboys who got tired of being told off, and slowly decided to dress and act the way that girls in their in-group were expected. Me? Well, I picked my way through a minefield of being a tough guy until I couldn't take it anymore. Every social interaction of my mid-to-late teens felt like I was choking back something, like being expressive was too exposing, and effusive emotion made a fool of me. I believe that we're most genuine at age ten or so, fully developed personalities who haven't figured how to hide yet. Did you learn to get quiet, be less emotional, to dress, talk, or even walk different than what felt natural? I did, but I tried my best to unlearn those things. I'm pretty unbound in general. Smiling, boiling over, can't shut up. I chatter on through most conversations, because there's a lot to share when people get together. That's me being honest to myself. Sometimes, I see or hear me back in a recording, and react negatively to the experience. I think I can do better, or different, and should. That disconnect we feel between our inner and outward expression should be a warning. Not to work even harder to change it, but to come home to being who we were all along. September 28, 2023 Beaconsfield, Nova Scotia Year 16, Day 5800 of my daily journal.

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shaymariff · 2 years

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I used to think that my life falling apart means I'm failing at it and that I don't deserve good things in my life. Though, with age and time, I grew not only in my intellectual maturity but my wisdom as well. To me, wisdom comes with experience and that is something I truly cherish.

Back when I was in my late teens to early twenties, I used to beg friends to stay after a huge fight and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. It took me a couple of years to realise that begging for people to stay in life in unnatural. If there is one thing that I've learned with relationships (that includes friendships, yes) is that while we cannot force people to stay in our lives, that doesn't mean that we don't try to apologise and make amends for the arguments that ensued or the pain that we inflicted on them. Some people are slightly more forgiving than others and are willing to give second chances, but many others... they see second chances as a jarring opportunity for regrets and would rather put their walls up and shut the world out. A minority, however, are skeptical. They're the in-betweeners. They see second chances as a risk but depending on how a person plays their cards and slowly earn their trust again, they'll be open to the idea of second chances.

But that's the thing, though. Why are we so quick (or in some circumstances, quite gradual) to give people second chances when we don't give ourselves a second chance at life? Remember that at the beginning, I implied that I must have failed life when my life starts falling apart?

What if... falling apart means it was meant to happen? Falling apart means getting your heart broken, going through life circumstances, losing a job etc... what if all of that happened is because it's allowing us to find ourselves? To improve not only our well-being but our mindsets as well? Falling apart doesn't mean you haven't failed in life. You only failed if you haven't fulfilled to your greatest potential. Fulfilling your life means taking risks and failing. Knowing failures as lessons and not burdens is what strengthens our minds, emotions and souls. It teaches us to persevere and have a broader perspectives. Though, I also learned that while it is inspiring to persevere, sometimes we need to know when to stop too. Know where our potential lies and pursue it.

I know I have better chances at living a fulfilling life achieving my goals in the creative arts industry, I just haven't found my common grounds yet. Maybe I am just making excuses for myself, or maybe I am just overwhelmed and confused and unsure on how to take the next best step forward. I have so many passion and ambitions burning in my body, coursing through my veins, I just don't know how to achieve them. Hours ago, I told my mum that I am a planner/designer/creative director, someone with ideas and scenarios, but I am not good at executing them. She is. I have plans to have a business and with each passing day, the desire grows. While my mind reels with ideas on what I can do for a business, I just don't have the luxury of executing them because I don't have the business foundation nor the capital to start off. I had attempted to have a small "business" doing a Kpop group order sale, but I actually do lose more money than I earn them because of not only inflations but also because of miscalculations and non-accountable items like tapes, bubble wraps etc. I gave it up. But recently, it gave me an idea to start a business something similar to that, I just haven't quite figured out what I want to sell.

I know where my strengths and weaknesses are and I'm not afraid of acknowledging my weaknesses and work on weaknesses. Life is rough because it's teaching us to be tough, stronger and wiser. Yes, I still make the same mistakes, especially when it comes to men, but as of lately, I've learned that I can't be too nice nor sweet to anyone because they're just going to take advantage of you. There are so many habits to unlearn, and so many new healthy habits to pick up... if there's one thing I want to change with my life, it's discipline.

It's a game-changer.

Sincerely

Shay

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writingwithcolor · 3 years

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What Does Our "Motivations” PSA Mean?

@luminalalumini said:

I've been on your blog a lot and it has a lot of really insightful information, but I notice a theme with some of your answers where you ask the writer reaching out what their 'motivation for making a character a certain [race/religion/ethnicity/nationality] is' and it's discouraging to see, because it seems like you're automatically assigning the writer some sort of ulterior motive that must be sniffed out and identified before the writer can get any tips or guidance for their question. Can't the 'motive' simply be having/wanting to have diversity in one's work? Must there be an 'ulterior motive'? I can understand that there's a lot of stigma and stereotypes and bad influence that might lead to someone trynna add marginalized groups into their stories for wrong reasons, but people that have those bad intentions certainly won't be asking for advice on how to write good representation in the first place. Idk its just been something that seemed really discouraging to me to reach out myself, knowing i'll automatically be assigned ulterior motives that i don't have and will probably have to justify why i want to add diversity to my story as if i'm comitting some sort of crime. I don't expect you guys to change your blog or respond to this or even care all that much, I'm probably just ranting into a void. I'm just curious if theres any reason to this that I haven't realized exists I suppose. I don't want y'all to take this the wrong way because I do actually love and enjoy your blog's advice in spite of my dumb griping. Cheers :))

We assume this is in reference to the following PSA:

PSA to all of our users - Motivation Matters: This lack of clarity w/r to intent has been a general issue with many recent questions. Please remember that if you don’t explain your motivations and what you intend to communicate to your audience with your plot choices, character attributes, world-building etc., we cannot effectively advise you beyond the information you provide. We Are Not Mind Readers. If, when drafting these questions, you realize you can’t explain your motivations, that is likely a hint that you need to think more on the rationales for your narrative decisions. My recommendation is to read our archives and articles on similar topics for inspiration while you think. I will be attaching this PSA to all asks with similar issues until the volume of such questions declines.

We have answered this in three parts.

1. Of Paved Roads and Good Intentions

Allow me to give you a personal story, in solidarity towards your feelings:

When I began writing in South Asia as an outsider, specifically in the Kashmir and Lahore areas, I was doing it out of respect for the cultures I had grown up around. I did kathak dance, I grew up on immigrant-cooked North Indian food, my babysitters were Indian. I loved Mughal society, and every detail of learning about it just made me want more. The minute you told me fantasy could be outside of Europe, I hopped into the Mughal world with two feet. I was 13. I am now 28.

And had you asked me, as a teenager, what my motives were in giving my characters’ love interests blue or green eyes, one of them blond hair, my MC having red-tinted brown hair that was very emphasized, and a whole bunch of paler skinned people, I would have told you my motives were “to represent the diversity of the region.”

I’m sure readers of the blog will spot the really, really toxic and colourist tropes present in my choices. If you’re new here, then the summary is: giving brown people “unique” coloured eyes and hair that lines up with Eurocentric beauty standards is an orientalist trope that needs to be interrogated in your writing. And favouring pale skinned people is colourist, full stop.

Did that make me a bad person with super sneaky ulterior motives who wanted to write bad representation? No.

It made me an ignorant kid from the mostly-white suburbs who grew up with media that said brown people had to “look unique” (read: look as European as possible) to be considered valuable.

And this is where it is important to remember that motives can be pure as you want, but you were still taught all of the terrible stuff that is present in society. Which means you’re going to perpetuate it unless you stop and actually question what is under your conscious motive, and work to unlearn it. Work that will never be complete.

I know it sounds scary and judgemental (and it’s one of the reasons we allow people to ask to be anonymous, for people who are afraid). Honestly, I would’ve reacted much the same as a younger writer, had you told me I was perpetuating bad things. I was trying to do good and my motives were pure, after all! But after a few years, I realized that I had fallen short, and I had a lot more to learn in order for my motives to match my impact. Part of our job at WWC is to attempt to close that gap.

We aren’t giving judgement, when we ask questions about why you want to do certain things. We are asking you to look at the structural underpinnings of your mind and question why those traits felt natural together, and, more specifically, why those traits felt natural to give to a protagonist or other major character.

I still have blond, blue-eyed characters with sandy coloured skin. I still have green-eyed characters. Because teenage me was right, that is part of the region. But by interrogating my motive, I was able to devalue those traits within the narrative, and I stopped making those traits shorthand for “this is the person you should root for.”

It opened up room for me to be messier with my characters of colour, even the ones who my teenage self would have deemed “extra special.” Because the European-associated traits (pale hair, not-brown-eyes) stopped being special. After years of questioning, they started lining up with my motive of just being part of the diversity of the region.

Motive is important, both in the conscious and the subconscious. It’s not a judgement and it’s not assumed to be evil. It’s simply assumed to be unquestioned, so we ask that you question it and really examine your own biases.

~Mod Lesya

2. Motivations Aren't Always "Ulterior"

You can have a positive motivation or a neutral one or a negative one. Just wanting to have diversity only means your characters aren't all white and straight and cis and able-bodied -- it doesn't explain why you decided to make this specific character specifically bi and specifically Jewish (it me). Yes, sometimes it might be completely random! But it also might be "well, my crush is Costa Rican, so I gave the love interest the same background", or "I set it in X City where the predominant marginalized ethnicity is Y, so they are Y". Neither of these count as ulterior motives. But let's say for a second that you did accidentally catch yourself doing an "ulterior." Isn't that the point of the blog, to help you find those spots and clean them up?

Try thinking of it as “finding things that need adjusting” rather than “things that are bad” and it might get less scary to realize that we all do them, subconsciously. Representation that could use some work is often the product of subconscious bias, not deliberate misrepresentation, so there's every possibility that someone who wants to improve and do better didn't do it perfectly the first time.

--Shira

3. Dress-Making as a Metaphor

I want to echo Lesya’s sentiments here but also provide a more logistical perspective. If you check the rubber stamp guide here and the “Motivation matters” PSA above, you’ll notice that concerns with respect to asker motivation are for the purposes of providing the most relevant answer possible.

It is a lot like if someone walks into a dressmaker’s shop and asks for a blue dress/ suit (Back when getting custom-made clothes was more of a thing) . The seamstress/ tailor is likely to ask a wide variety of questions:

What material do you want the outfit to be made of?

Where do you plan to wear it?

What do you want to highlight?

How do you want to feel when you wear it?

Let’s say our theoretical customer is in England during the 1920s. A tartan walking dress/ flannel suit for the winter is not the same as a periwinkle, beaded, organza ensemble/ navy pinstripe for formal dress in the summer. When we ask for motivations, we are often asking for exactly that: the specific reasons for your inquiry so we may pinpoint the most pertinent information.

The consistent problem for many of the askers who receive the PSA is they haven’t even done the level of research necessary to know what they want to ask of us. It would be like if our English customer in the 1920s responded, “IDK, some kind of blue thing.” Even worse, WWC doesn’t have the luxury of the back-and-forth between a dressmaker and their clientele. If our asker doesn’t communicate all the information they need in mind at the time of submission, we can only say, “Well, I’m not sure if this is right, but here’s something. I hope it works, but if you had told us more, we could have done a more thorough job.”

Answering questions without context is hard, and asking for motivations, by which I mean the narratives, themes, character arcs and other literary devices that you are looking to incorporate, is the best way for us to help you, while also helping you to determine if your understanding of the problem will benefit from outside input. Because these asks are published with the goal of helping individuals with similar questions, the PSA also serves to prompt other users.

I note that asking questions is a skill, and we all start by asking the most basic questions (Not stupid questions, because to quote a dear professor, “There are no stupid questions.”). Unfortunately, WWC is not suited for the most basic questions. To this effect, we have a very helpful FAQ and archive as a starting point. Once you have used our website to answer the more basic questions, you are more ready to approach writing with diversity and decide when we can actually be of service. This is why we are so adamant that people read the FAQ. Yes, it helps us, but it also is there to save you time and spare you the ambiguity of not even knowing where to start.

The anxiety in your ask conveys to me a fear of being judged for asking questions. That fear is not something we can help you with, other than to wholeheartedly reassure you that we do not spend our unpaid, free time answering these questions in order to assume motives we can’t confirm or sit in judgment of our users who, as you say, are just trying to do better.

Yes, I am often frustrated when an asker’s question makes it clear they haven’t read the FAQ or archives. I’ve also been upset when uncivil commenters have indicated that my efforts and contributions are not worth their consideration. However, even the most tactless question has never made me think, “Ooh this person is such a naughty racist. Let me laugh at them for being a naughty racist. Let me shame them for being a naughty racist. Mwahaha.”

What kind of sad person has time for that?*

Racism is structural. It takes time to unlearn, especially if you’re in an environment that doesn’t facilitate that process to begin with. Our first priority is to help while also preserving our own boundaries and well-being. Though I am well aware of the levels of toxic gas-lighting and virtue signaling that can be found in various corners of online writing communities in the name of “progressivism*”, WWC is not that kind of space. This space is for discussions held in good faith: for us to understand each other better, rather than for one of us to “win” and another to “lose.”

Just as we have good faith that you are doing your best, we ask that you have faith that we are trying to do our best by you and the BIPOC communities we represent.

- Marika.

*If you are in any writing or social media circles that feed these anxieties or demonstrate these behaviors, I advise you to curtail your time with them and focus on your own growth. You will find, over time, that it is easier to think clearly when you are worrying less about trying to appease people who set the bar of approval so high just for the enjoyment of watching you jump. “Internet hygiene”, as I like to call it, begins with you and the boundaries you set with those you interact with online.

#PSAs #asker concerns #diversity #motivations in writing #writing with diversity #blog housekeeping #internet hygeine #asks #WWC

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