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fairyhaos · 2 months

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❖ no such thing as too perfect // jeon wonwoo

wonwoo x gn!reader, 2k+ words

tags: office au, established relationship, fluff, kinda crack, junhui is the best work bestieTM ever, yn is Dramatic and In Love

warnings: none

notes: this was only meant to be like, 1.2k.... idk what happened but im not apologising. also there are a couple of pov switches which i hope make sense!!

“I think I need to break up with him,” you say, and Junhui blinks around a mouthful of salad.

“Who?” he asks, spraying pieces of feta cheese all over the table, and you wrinkle your nose and brush away a few bits that get too close to you and your bento box. He frowns, and then his eyes widen. “Oh my god, you need to break up with Jeon Wonwoo? Why do you need to break up with Jeon Wonwoo?”

You wince as Junhui's loud exclamation rings throughout the office canteen, making several heads turn to look at the two of you.

“Don't yell it so loud—and why are you saying his name in italics?”

“Because this is Jeon Wonwoo,” Junhui emphasises again, shoving salad passionately into his mouth before carrying on talking. “He's the only one of your boyfriends that I've actually ever approved of. Which is crazy, because Soonyoung introduced him to you, and I've never pinned Soonyoung as a guy that knows boyfriend-material guys.”

You reach over and lower Junhui’s fork, preventing him from eating and talking at the same time. “I don't know,” you sigh. “I just… I don't think this is going to work.”

“What did he do?” Junhui asks. His face morphs into a more serious look. “Do I need to murder him for you?”

“No, I— no! Don't murder him!” you say quickly, shaking your head. “He hasn't done anything wrong. It's just. I think I need to break up with him.”

The grave look melts from Junhui's face, and then he frowns. “You need to break up with him… even though he hasn't done anything wrong?”

“Yes.”

Junhui stares at you, mystified, then snatches back his fork to keep eating his salad. “Okay, so you've gone insane. Nice to know.”

You sigh at Junhui's response, rubbing your temples.

Whilst it does sound insane for you to break up with Wonwoo even though he's done nothing wrong, in your eyes, it's actually quite understandable.

Nothing has gone wrong, per se: you've been dating Wonwoo for about ten months now, and everything has been perfect. He's been perfect.

Maybe… a little too perfect.

He's always being so gentle and courteous, silently reading your emotions and knowing exactly how you're feeling at any given moment. He knows what you need before you even know that you need it—giving you little cheek kisses to remind you that you're loved, pushing a chocolate bar into your hand when you're all dizzy and tired, hugging you to sleep when you've had a bad day.

The bento box that you're opening and having for lunch? That was prepared by him too.

Jeon Wonwoo is just so goddamn perfect, and it worries you.

“I don't think I'm good enough for him,” you admit whilst Junhui is busily sipping his water.

It's fascinating how he manages to eat so frantically whilst eating so slowly at the same time, you think idly, as Junhui chokes on the tiny sip he was taking. He sets down the glass, wiping his mouth and blinking at you.

“Sorry, what?”

“Come on, Junhui, do I really have to say it again?” you complain, beginning to open your bento box. “You heard me.”

“Yeah, and I couldn't believe my ears,” he says, tilting his head sideways. “You? Not good enough for him? Please. That's crazy.”

You make a questioning noise. “You just said that he's the only boyfriend of mine that you approved of.”

“Exactly.” Junhui stabbed his fork in your direction, before going back to shovelling leaves into his mouth. “You're perfect for him, and he's perfect for you. I predicted it from the moment you met.”

“I don't know about me being perfect for him, but he really is just too perfect for me,” you whine. “Him and his stupidly warm eyes and that smile… oh, Junhui, he makes me feel like the most beautiful person in this entire universe.” You look down at your bento box, pouting. “Wonwoo's just so perfect.”

Junhui makes a face. “Gross, but okay. I still don't see your point, though. Wonwoo's perfect, and you're both good enough for each other. I don't see why you think you need to break up with him.”

Still looking down at the bento box, you let out a sigh. All of the food is neatly packed away into the separate compartments, and he's even arranged the sesame seeds on your rice into a little heart. It's an awfully goofy but also an awfully Wonwoo thing to do, and you can feel your heart squeezing painfully in your chest, the longer you stare at it.

This is not good. You are far too in love with Wonwoo.

That's what you tell Junhui, and he stares at you with utter disbelief as if you've finally admitted that you really have lost your mind.

“And what makes you think that he's not far too in love with you?” Junhui asks. “You know, one of the reasons that I approve of Wonwoo is because he's just so so in love with you. Like, almost disgustingly in love with you.”

“What?” You blink at him, before shaking your head. “Junhui, no, this is serious. Wonwoo's just so perfect and I'm so in love with him and—and it's actually getting dangerous now. I've literally fallen in love with him.”

Junhui stares at you for a long moment, wondering whether you're actually being serious about all of this.

“That's not a bad thing,” he insists, and then chomps on his salad in frustration. “Y/N, that's not a bad thing at all.”

“Yes it is,” you say, despairingly, looking forlorn as you prop your chin on your hand. “I love him too much. It's gonna—it's gonna get too overwhelming, soon, and then he'll start thinking I'm weird, and he'll distance himself from me, and then we'll break up and I should end this before that happens.”

Junhui shakes his head. “I don't think that's true.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it isn't. He won't break up with you.”

“Not yet.”

Junhui looks away exasperatedly, because you're adamant in wallowing in your despair over having to break up with Wonwoo because “he's too perfect” even while quite happily eating the lunch that Junhui knows Wonwoo probably prepared for you.

It's insane, he thinks, because it's obvious to him that Wonwoo loves you a lot. But he knows you and your negative thinking, and short of Wonwoo walking in here and professing his love to you all by himself, Junhui can't think of anything that could possibly convince you otherwise.

As he looks past your shoulder to the glass doors of the office canteen, however, he blinks.

There's a tall man entering the canteen, his dark hair all fluffy and his glasses-rimmed eyes scanning the area, lips pursed into a look that could almost be described as bored. He has his hands in his coat pockets, wearing the most simple casual fit ever, but he exudes such cold model energy that even Junhui blinks again.

And then he watches as the man catches sight of you and Junhui, and his entire demeanour just softens.

Junhui bites back a grin.

Wow. Maybe he’s, like, actually psychic.

“Wonwoo's here,” he says abruptly, and your head snaps up so fast that he can hear the audible click that sounds in your neck.

“Where?”

Junhui doesn't get to say anything, however, because he sees the moment that your eyes clock the tall man that's striding into the canteen, the light catching the frames of his glasses, and watches as you positively melt, in much the same way that the man had done when he saw you.

He can almost hear every infatuated thought that runs through your mind.

“Wonwoo,” you breathe, once Wonwoo steps close enough to the table that you and Junhui are eating at. His hair is all fluffy and windswept, and you resist the urge to smooth it down with your fingers.

“Hello.” Wonwoo bends down, presses a soft kiss to your forehead. “You weren't answering your phone.”

“Hm? I didn't get any text notifs from you.” You check your phone, trying to turn it on, only for the screen to remain black. “Oh. Is it dead?”

“I suspected as much,” Wonwoo says dryly, but there's a fondness in his voice as he pulls out a power bank from his pocket. “Here.”

Your eyes light up. “Oh, you're a life saver!” You look up at Wonwoo, smiling at the way his eyes look so warm as he gazes down at you. “Thank you.”

Junhui slurps his water loudly.

“Sorry,” he says, sounding not sorry at all when the two of you look over at him. “Don't mind me.”

He's grinning mischievously, for reasons that you cannot fathom, and when he leans forward to peer up at Wonwoo with curious eyes, the mischief in his grin only increases.

“So, Wonwoo, why are you here?”

Wonwoo tilts his head, pushing his glasses up at the same time. “You're Junhui.”

“The one and only,” Junhui says brightly. “I'm Y/N's work bestie. I've heard loads about you.”

You hiss in annoyance, kicking Junhui under the table even as Wonwoo laughs amusedly, placing a hand on your shoulder affectionately.

“Wen Junhui! Why would you say that?”

“Do you talk about me that often?” Wonwoo asks, and his tone is somewhere between genuinely curious and adoring and you kind of just wanna sit there and listen to his voice forever.

“Oh, all the time,” Junhui says, eyes gleaming, and you snap your gaze back to him, exasperated. “Y/N loves you so much. I hear about the extent of it every day.”

Wonwoo looks down at you, raising an eyebrow. “Really?”

You kind of want to deny it, but then that would mean lying to Wonwoo, so you don't.

“Maybe?” you say weakly, cheeks burning as you smile sheepishly up at him. “You're just, uh. Really really lovely. And, um, I kind of love you. A lot.”

Wonwoo laughs, a full and endeared laugh, twinkling with the light of a thousand suns. “I'm glad. Because you're really lovely, and I love you a lot too.”

Your eyes widen, and suddenly it's like it's just you and Wonwoo in the canteen now, him with his hand on your shoulder and those eyes, holding your very soul in place as he just smiles so lovingly and oh God you really do love him.

“Oh,” you say, soft. “Wonwoo…”

Wonwoo just smiles again. “Anyways, I came by to let you know that I'll be finishing work a bit earlier today, so call me when you're done and I'll drive by to pick you up, okay?”

You nod, mute, stunned by the gentlest words of “I love you” that had left Wonwoo's mouth just seconds before.

“It was nice meeting you,” Junhui chirps, but Wonwoo doesn't seem to hear, because he's looking down at you again, before swooping in and placing the lightest kiss on your nose and you feel like you could combust on the spot right there.

“I'll see you later?” he says.

You nod. “I'll see you later.”

Wonwoo smiles, and then the hand slides off your shoulder and he walks away.

You watch him go, watch him walk through the tables and then get to the glass doors, where he turns around one last time to wave goodbye before disappearing outside, and really, it's insane how much you love him.

And how much he loves you, it seems.

“So. He took time out of his own lunch break and came all the way here to give you a charger because he knew that you'd forgotten one and to tell you that he's picking you up later?” Junhui says, making you reluctantly turn back to him. “Y/N. If this doesn’t make you see just how in love with you Wonwoo is, then I’m gonna kick you.”

“Hey, no need for violence,” you say, raising an eyebrow, and Junhui pulls a face.

“So do you see it or do you not?”

You look over your shoulder again, out at the doors. Wonwoo’s no longer there, but you can still imagine the imprint of his warmth, lingering like the softest lavender scent over the entire area.

“Maybe I do,” you say, all wistful and dazed, a smile on your face. “Isn’t he just so perfect?”

Junhui grins, and makes use of your distracted state to steal a carrot stick from your lunch, crunching on it loudly.

“Perfect and in love with you,” he points out. “So do you still feel like you need to break up with him?”

“Hm?”

You blink, eyes still all starry from your few minutes of interacting with your boyfriend, his soft smile etched into your mind. It takes a moment for Junhui's words to register, but then they do, and you can't help but laugh.

“Oh. Oh, no. He and I are perfect.”

Junhui grins. He really is a psychic.

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @raevyng @isabellah29 @hrts4hanniehae @mcu-incorrect

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cupid-styles · 4 months

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drunk conversations (hockey!h x ballerina!yn)

another hockey!h x ballerina!yn blurb bc im a wh*re for them and they're so fun to write!!! kind of sort of builds on this blurb from monday if u missed it !

word count: 1.5k

content warnings: alcohol, harry being a bit possessive, brief unwanted touching (not sexual, not done by harry)

hockey!h masterlist

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. . .

Harry’s drunk, but he’s not drunk enough to ignore the fact that Y/N is uncomfortable.

He doesn’t mean to stare. He didn’t even notice that they were at the same bar until about an hour ago, when his eyes were scanning over the crowds of people and he accidentally zeroed in on her. At the time, she had been with her friends, chatting and laughing. In her natural state, she looked happy. Glowing. Pretty.

But the friends she came with have scattered since then, and now she’s pinned beneath the glare of some guy Harry’s seen a few times on campus. They’ve never spoken, but he sees him out every now and then, and he’s always doing the same thing — talking up girls, staring at them like they’re pieces of meat. It made him feel sick then, but it makes him feel insane knowing that he’s doing it to Y/N.

Gripping his drink in his hand, he can’t help but narrow his eyes at the man. Her body language is blatantly uncomfortable — she’s nearly carrowing underneath his intense gaze, smiling tightly as she nods her head when it seems appropriate. Every few minutes, she’ll glance away from him, as if she’s looking for a friend to rescue her.

Harry doesn’t believe in the whole prince charming, knight in shining armor thing. He’ll never come running unless a friend signals that they need him. But when he watches him grab her face and redirect it back towards him, making her eyes startle widely, he’s on his feet before he can even think about what he’s doing.

“Hey!” he shouts, ambling towards the duo. Y/N’s head snaps towards him, her lips parted slightly, and the man’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “The fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Harry—”

“What do you mean?” he sneers, standing from his bar stool.

“She’s clearly not interested,” Harry growls, standing beside Y/N protectively. “Fuck off, yeah? Don’t fucking touch her unless she asks you to.”

“How do you know she’s not interested?”

“Harry—”

He glances down at her, and his heart nearly shatters in his chest when he sees her watery eyes. She’s giving him a silent plea to stop so he presses his lips into a thin line, reality hitting him square in the face. He didn’t have a reason to do this. Y/N isn’t his, and she doesn’t need him to stand up for her.

Embarrassed, Harry stumbles away. He can hear his friends calling after him, but he needs air. When he makes his way out of the crowded bar and the chilly winter climate hits him, he slides down against the brick exterior of the bar, letting out a shaky breath.

What is he doing?

With his eyes shut tightly, he doesn’t even notice when Y/N sits down next to him. It takes him a few moments to bat his eyelashes open, swallowing as he takes in her bundled up form. She has a puffer jacket wrapped around her, her breath creating thick clouds every time she exhales.

“You alright?” she asks softly. Harry nods, leaning his head back.

“Sorry about that,” he mutters, “I don’t know what got into me.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “To be fair, I was uncomfortable, and I didn’t like that he touched me.”

That makes Harry feel a tad bit better, but he’s still overwhelmed with humiliation. He can’t stop playing the interaction in his head, replaying how ridiculous he must’ve looked.

“Are you okay, then?” Harry asks a few moments later.

She hums, picking at a loose thread from the hem of her sweater. “I’m drunk.” she admits with a soft peel of laughter.

“Me too.”

They both chuckle lightly. Y/N glances at Harry in her peripheral vision. Maybe it’s the wine goggles, or maybe it’s because she, admittedly so, is thankful he stepped in the way he did, but she thinks he looks cute. Drunk and flushed, a dimple popping out on his right cheek every time he smiles or laughs, Y/N wishes she could memorize the way he looks right now.

It would be easier to get along with him if he always acted this way.

“Why are we so mean to each other?” she blurts out. Harry leans his cheek on his knee, bunching his sweater up over his hands. With a wrinkle between his brows, he contemplates her question.

“You don’t like me,” he answers slowly. “I guess that’s not a reason, but… that’s how it happened, isn’t it?”

“I only started acting this way because you tease me all the time.”

Harry shrugs. “I don’t mean it.”

She scoffs, “You sure act like you do.”

His throat goes dry. He supposes she doesn’t have a reason to think otherwise, given the childish, mocking nature of most of their interactions. If he’s being truthful, though, he hates that.

“It’s just… it’s stupid, isn’t it?” he asks, not entirely sure if he’s being rhetorical. “That we’re so rude to one another for no reason.”

“Well, I don’t like the way you speak to me,” Y/N says with a straightened spine. Harry glances at her, his eyes dipping to the long sleeve black shirt she’s wearing. The back of it exposes her spine, all the way down to just above where her hips begin. He swallows, willing his drunk brain to pay attention.

“I’m sorry.” he rasps. He means it, or at least Drunk Harry does.

She hums, pulling her jacket tighter around her body.

“Do you have a cigarette I can bum?” he asks. He doesn’t actually want one and he only ever smokes them when he’s drinking — they’re bad for the lungs and all, and Coach would kill him for it anyway — but he’s willing to say anything to change the subject. When he looks at her, she’s nibbling on her bottom lip, lost in thought, but shakes her head.

“No, sorry. I don’t smoke,” she swallows. “How much do you think we’ll regret this conversation tomorrow?”

“What d’you mean?”

“I’m always embarrassed by the shit I say when I’m fucked,” Y/N admits. “Spend most of my hangover anxious about whatever came out of my mouth.”

Harry chuckles, swaying a bit as he stands up from his seat on the sidewalk. He looks down at her expectedly, reaching his hand out to help her up.

“C’mon then. Walk me home. We’re this far, we may as well really embarrass ourselves.”

Y/N laughs, crinkles forming in the creases of her eyes. She stands across from him, looking as if she’s actually contemplating it for a moment — but then she bites her lip, shaking her head.

“What, you don’t wanna come smoke out the window at Casa de Harry?”

That really makes her giggle and Harry can’t help but grin, his chest warming at the feeling of making her laugh.

“No, I should get back to my friends.” she says. She rolls her lips into her mouth and bounces on her feet, the cold clearly getting to her. “Are you really going home?”

He nods. “Change your mind?”

“No, I’ve never smoked a cigarette and I don’t plan on tonight being the night.”

“I’ll get you there eventually.”

She rolls her eyes, though the small smile on her lips tells him that he’s done something right tonight.

“If you’re heading back alone, can you just text me so I know you make it home safe?” she asks, twisting her body to face the entrance of the bar. She turns to see his surprised expression, but he nods, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

“Sure,” he replies, “I can do that.”

“Okay. Thanks, Harry.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N.”

She blinks, standing there for a beat longer. She looks like she’s thinking about something again, but instead she flashes him a tight smile and walks back inside.

When Harry’s hustled home safely, he brings up their text thread. It’s a recent one in his history, since she sent him some stretches to do to help with his achy hips a few days ago. He nibbles on his bottom lip as he quickly writes out a message — the cold sobered him up a fair amount, but he’s still tipsy enough to not be embarrassed by this tonight. Tomorrow will be a different story.

At the bar, Y/N’s smiling to herself as she reads his text: Made it home. I hope we can start being nice to each other.

“Y/NNNNN,” a drunken peel of laughter from Lea drags her attention from her phone, “Who are you texting?!”

She laughs and stuffs her phone back in her pocket. “No one, nosy!”

“‘s Harry,” Rena slurs, eyes widening playfully as she lifts her drink to her lips, “You two just really need to hate fuck and get it out of your systems already!”

Y/N rolls her eyes, waving them off as they begin to chatter about something else — but her mind is elsewhere, her eyes mentally scanning over Harry’s biceps bulging beneath the tee-shirt he wore tonight, or his toned abs shaking just a bit in their yoga class earlier this week.

And the more she contemplates it, the more she wonders if an alcohol-fueled hate fuck is exactly what they need.

#writing #hockey h #harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fic #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles one direction #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #one direction #harry styles one shot #harry styles oneshot #harry styles angst #harry styles fic rec

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raainberry · 7 months

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Moonflower - III

« In literature, the moonflower has been used as a symbol of love, mystery, and enchantment. »

Sana x gn!reader

Okay maybe it’s angst this time

synopsis - your job is still flowers. she's still not sure how she got into this mess. but maybe you could get her out of it.

- part I - part II -

wordcount - 3.4K

TW - like three (3) of the same soft cuss word

A/N - here is my first piece of work that made me cry out of frustration (we will be blaming emo hours). now if you saw my breakdown live on the tl two days ago, no you didn’t. and if you saw my update yesterday saying this very thing would be up later that day, no you didn’t either. i fell asleep, your girl was running on three hours of sleep (wonder why🥰) it happens to the best of us SORRY. hope you enjoy it though! im actually not too mad at how it turned out🤭

“How would your wedding look like?” She asked, taking a sip of her water bottle.

You chuckled softly at the question, wondering what had prompted it apart from the obvious.

“I haven’t thought about that.” You answered truthfully.

“Not even once?”

“No.”

“You’re lying.” She said, convinced of her own words.

“Am I?”

“You’ve helped hundreds of people with their own.” She pointed out. “It’s impossible not to think of what yours would look like.”

“I help them choose flowers. I’m not organizing their entire reception.” You argued.

“Then you probably thought about that much.”

You turned to her.

She was right, but you weren’t lying either.

Flowers were the only thing you’d envisioned so far.

“So which is it gonna be?” She insisted.

“Moonflowers.” You answered, making her chuckle.

“I could have guessed that.”

“Yet you haven’t.”

You fully expected the way she rolled her eyes at you before looking away to focus on the dark horizon.

A small, comfortable silence settled between the two of you. One of many throughout this spontaneous outing, and with each one, you seemed to appreciate them a little more.

Because they never seem to last with her.

“I’ll get the moonflowers.” She blurted out, cutting the moment short yet again.

“What?”

“For the wedding.” She said, almost shrugging as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Given the context, it was, but still… You stayed silent, thinking back to the very reason you were even sitting beside her at the moment.

The two of you were parked at the top of some small hill overlooking part of the town, laying against the windshield of your car and sitting on top of the hood.

All your problems seemed so small up there, barely even deserving of a thought. The afternoon you just spent together did wonders for your souls.

She had asked you to drive around before going back home. That somehow lead you to hours of wasting gas and money at random shops, most of which you’d never even heard of.

The more you followed her around, the more it all felt like a getaway. Not in the idyllic sense, rather in the literal one. You could tell she was avoiding her apartment. Obviously you had an idea as to why, and maybe that’s what pushed you to give in to every single one of her requests.

It was nice doing things she wanted.

Sana eventually realised that was the true reason why she delayed returning to her apartment over and over. She couldn’t care less about the man living there with her, nor about whether or not he was actually waiting for her there.

She just didn’t want it to stop. The feeling of mattering. Of being considered. Being seen. Heard.

Her smile slowly returned as hours went by, justifying everything you’d done for her in so little time. It gave you purpose, proving you weren’t losing your mind in vain.

Because boy did she drive you insane.

Was she really still going through with it all?

“Why don’t you choose your own?” You asked her, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts.

At the end of the day, it was none of your business. It wasn’t your decision to make.

“Possessive much?” She teased, and you straightened yourself up. The top of this hood suddenly felt uncomfortable.

“Not necessarily. But the only way you’re getting moonflowers at your wedding is by marrying me.”

That’s what you heard yourself say just seconds later.

You’d mumbled it to yourself, letting your old flirting skills and days get the best of you for some reason. You looked at her, hoping she hadn’t heard or at least not enough to get it.

A second passed. Then two. Three.

The lack of questioning was alarming, and in good reason.

You had managed to make her speechless. Unwillingly, yes, but it only made it that much more unbelievable.

Even thinking she couldn’t do, as if her mind had short-circuited at the thought of marrying someone else than the man she’d been conditioned to.

“It was a joke.” You finally spoke up, hoping to break her out of her trance.

It was the truth. It might have been borderline flirting, but the main goal was humor. You were technically joking.

But still. All she did was blink.

Maybe she needed help at finding words, that’s why her lips suddenly fell on yours, right? To steal them from you?

You mentally chuckled at your ridiculous thought process, ashamed of it as if it had been heard by the whole world. Good thing it faded out with each one of her kisses.

She was efficient, you’ll give her that. However what stuck with you was how soft, how delicate her lips were against yours. It debilitated all cognitive functions of your brain. The power was out for at least three seconds at one point. You couldn’t think straight, kissing her back as if you were supposed to.

As if she were yours to begin with.

It’s unclear how long it took for you to gain enough sense back, all you knew was that feeling her bite down on your bottom lip did the trick.

The faint pain as she tugged on it ever so softly snapped you back to reality, warning you about what would come if you didn’t pull away in the next second.

You felt your heart race as it all sunk in.

The one thing you had told yourself not to fall into earlier that day… A trap that seemed so obvious it managed to fool you. You practically jumped into it.

As much as you danced around it, you knew what you were here for. What you’d agreed to. What she wanted you for.

You knew you were just a pawn in her vendetta from the start. She’d made it very clear. So why did the whole idea just dawn on you now?

Maybe you’d turned a blind eye for as long as you could, you couldn’t say to save your life. All you knew was that you didn’t like it one bit.

So when she went for another kiss, leaning in to capture your swollen bottom lip, you made sure she never reached it.

That earned you a confused look from her, as if it were the first time her kiss was denied. The sight would have been amusing, if only you didn’t feel so torn yourself…

Your gaze reflected that to Sana, and she had a hard time figuring out what exactly was it that was so wrong.

Though she could at least tell you were tormented, it was only confirmed when you jumped off the hood.

She watched as you started to walk away from the car and further into the darkness surrounding you.

Where the hell were you going? You were basically in the middle of nowhere.

“Y/N!”

The sound of the rocks and dirt beneath your shoes faded out as you came to a halt, feeling her eyes burning into your back.

“Where are you going?”

You turned around, seeing she had stepped off the hood too, and taken a few steps towards you.

“I’m going home.” You told her, tearing your eyes off her as you started walking away again.

“So you’re leaving me alone in some hilltop at night in the middle of nowhere?”

No, you weren’t.

You made sure to brush right past her on your way back, though, heading straight into the driver’s seat.

Slamming the door behind you, you let out a heavy sigh you were sure she’d heard from outside. It took longer than you’d have liked for her to join you, only sitting in the passenger seat after making sure you’d calmed down.

Not a word from her. Not a sound from you. Only your clothes rubbing together as your leg showed itself to be restless.

You refused to look at her. She didn’t like the attitude, but a part of her could understand. So she didn’t say anything, and stared out her own window in silence.

As minutes went by, your anger and frustration slowly get overcome by a familiar sensation.

Greed. You wanted to know.

Nothing about this woman concerned you. Yet you wanted to know more. You needed to.

The feeling appeared as soon as she’d spoken up at the flower shop, and now it managed to appear without a single word from her.

It was only days ago. The speed of it all was frightening.

Yet you couldn’t help how curious the still silhouette in the corner of your eye made you. What was she thinking about now?

The wedding? Her fiancé? Herself? You?

Turning to look at her, you watched her through a calmer mind as your questions grew in number despite yourself.

“What’s on your mind?” You finally spoke up.

Your voice was louder than you remembered. It startled her, but she hid it well before meeting your gaze.

“Nothing you’d care about.”

You frowned internally. The same feeling as back in the flower shop again. You felt it back when she sat down beside you on the hood earlier too.

She was close. She was pretty. So pretty.

You suddenly felt jealous, and that pretty much signed off on the insanity of this situation you’d somehow put yourself in. Or maybe she’d dragged you in it, who cares, it wasn’t important anymore.

“Don’t get married.”

You whispered this time, but the words were still loud.

Sana closed her eyes, and the silence that followed was loud enough to stress about it. Your words had slipped out again, but this time you found nothing to cover them up with.

Partly because you didn’t even want to cover them up.

Her eyes opened again, allowing the cheap lighting outside to reflect on those beautiful brown eyes. You were in awe at that point. Tired, but still able to appreciate such a pretty sight.

“You’re so unfair.”

You snapped out of your trance at the sound of your own thoughts echoing through her lips.

“What?”

“You know why I brought you here, right?”

Her gaze fixated far ahead while you could only focus on hers. You weren’t trying to make her look at you, though. You were only trying to see what she was seeing.

“Answer me.” She ordered, attempting to conceal the weakness in her voice.

“I do.” You admitted.

“Then help me.” She pleaded. “I can’t do it alone.”

“I’m trying to.” You assured her. “Ever since you stepped into the shop, that’s all I’ve done.”

“Then why did you pull away?”

You sighed once more, finding interest out the windshield as well. Your lips parted without sound for a second, debating on whether or not you should let these words slip out too…

“I don’t want to be your scapegoat.”

Sana swallowed the knot in her throat. The truth was a little hard, but it remained. You were right.

She didn’t plan on kissing you earlier. That alone could have proven your worries to be wrong. However, everything she managed to think about as soon as her lips touched yours… It all gave you more than one reason to worry.

Giving in to desire was weak on her part. Part of her regretted it. It threw away all her hopes of ever pulling the spectacular revenge she dreamed about.

So she had to think of a backup plan.

What she managed to come up with was simple, deprived of any details she would normally be able to think of. Infatuation only allowed her to think of the big picture, while she focused on satisfying her desire.

By that point, she did plan on sleeping with you. She did plan on letting her fiancé find out. And after that, she did plan on throwing you under the bus if things ever got too much to handle.

Now that her mind was given time to properly think, she realised something very upsetting.

This so called backup plan was none other than her inital one. One she’d made up in the lowest point of her life, all out of hope and lost in purpose.

She was back at square one.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, making you look back at her.

Her eyes were closed, and you found out it was a weak attempt at stopping the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

The sight of them surprisingly left you indifferent. You stared at her in silence for a few long seconds, unsure of what to do, or say.

You were hesitant, but you were far from heartless.

Your index finger ended up reaching for her jaw, catching the salted droplet before it stained the fabric of her pants below. The one on the other side of her face might have, but that wasn’t something to worry about for either of you.

Sana’s mind was stuck on your finger lingering on her sharpest bone. The feeling of your skin against hers, of a touch as innocent as this one… It was conflicting.

She opened her eyes, catching yours by surprise. She expected you to, but you didn’t look away this time. That allowed her to notice the color of your eyes for the first time.

She couldn’t tell you why she got stuck on such a detail, and to be honest, she didn’t feel the need to find a reason.

She could, so she did. Something else she hadn’t been able to do in a long while.

And it felt good.

“Y/N…”

Your jaw clenched at the sound. Your name sounded so pretty enlaced in that sweet voice of hers…

You felt your breath catch in your throat as you anticipated her next words. The flutter in your chest made itself known again as the adrenaline left little room for shock when she’d eventually say them.

“Do you still want to sabotage a wedding?”

A heavy sigh freed the breath that had caught in your throat.

It dawned on you yet again. Hearing those words for a second time… You were going in circles. This really was nothing but a trap.

You didn’t know if she’d done it on purpose, if she lured you in or if she was just as stuck as you were—Hell, you didn’t even care.

You just needed to get out while you could.

So your hand found the key in the ignition, and it took no time for you to start the car up.

The sound of the engine revving as you prepared to leave triggered something in the woman sitting next to you. Something that made her heart race as she began mumbling something.

It seemed as though she was repeating something under her breath, her gaze out in the dark around you and absent like she’d retreated within her own mind.

Her words were loud enough for you to notice she was saying something, but not enough to understand it.

You froze at the scene, unsure if you should hear her out, reassure her or step on the gas. It was obvious what you should do, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to.

So she made you do it herself.

“I don’t want to go back!” She yelled over the engine, and grabbed onto your arm.

You let go of the key, her fingers tightening around your forearm as her eyes looked for yours.

“I don’t want to go back.” She repeated, her voice barely a whisper.

Your eyebrows furrowed, something you could only feel as your body reacted to her once more. You didn’t know what hurt more; seeing the tears pool in her eyes as she struggled to hold them back or her nails digging though the fabric and into your skin.

“Please...”

You couldn’t answer as something on her hand distracted you from the pain. Something shiny. A glimmer on her ring finger—most likely diamonds. Might as well have been rocks; it held no value in that so called promise between her and that man. At the least it didn’t for one of them.

You looked back at the bearer, your jaw tense as you thought. Your mind flashed back to mere moments ago. Why was she still wearing it? She had no right to. Not after leaving such betrayal on your lips.

“Then take it off.” You spoke up, your voice hoarse as if you’d been yelling for liberation.

Her mind was shaken, desperate to see through eyes that looked so unfamiliar now.

Your gaze was stern. It all looked blurry, as if you’d built a wall in front of what she had access to just moments ago…

“What?”

“The ring, Sana. Take it off.”

She barely glanced down at her own hand before looking back at you. The chuckle tasted bitter on your tongue.

“You can’t even face it.”

“That’s all I’ve been telling you.” She let out a defeated sob. “Why don’t you just do it for me?”

You looked back down at her hand, and her gaze followed yours to land there as well. She hated the sight of it. It felt as though it had been there forever.

All she dreamed about was taking it off.

All you had to do was take it off.

So you did, and finally slipped the ring off her finger, holding it between two of your own.

She mindlessly watched as your thumb and index rolled it around to observe it above the steering wheel. All that pain. All that torment. All because of a single, shiny metal ring.

“Doesn’t it feel lighter?” You spoke in an attempt to pull her out of her own mind. The last thing she needed was to get lost in it.

“I…” She trailed off, looking down at her hand, and finally seeing her finger naked in what felt like a lifetime. “It does.”

You trapped the jewel inside your fist, sighing as you leaned back against the back of your seat.

“What are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well…” Your hand found the commands of the automatic windows, pushing the button to roll yours down. “Whatever you do, you take care of yourself.”

Most people would have asked what the hell you were doing. If that ring didn’t hold any sentimental value, financially, it still held its own.

Not Sana, though. She didn’t seem phased by your action as she watched it land who knows where.

“Wait…” She trailed off, rewinding your words. “Are you not going to stick around?”

“I did all I could, Sana.” You started, your eyes focused out the open window as a breeze helped to dry off the tears before they even formed. “I kept my word and helped you. I took it off. But you’re gonna need to face him yourself.”

“But I can’t do it alone—“

“You have to.” You snapped, turning back to look at her. You ignored her lips parted in surprise, and continued. “If what I’ve learned about you in this short time is true, it’s the only way you’ll ever be free.”

“What have you learned?”

“Nothing.” You scoffed. “That’s why you have to do it. You’re the only one who actually knows how to deal with this. I can be by your side all you want, but I’ll never be any help. No one ever will.”

Your rant caused a small sob to escape her lips, and she ignored your surprise when she reached for your hand. You could only let her again, allowing yourself to relish in her touch and find pleasure in your body’s reactions to it.

You looked down at your joined hands, watching her intertwine them. You found yourself responding to her touch, your fingers closing around hers.

“Then at least stay.”

You softly caressed the top of her thumb, giving yourself some time to actually think before agreeing this time.

“On one condition.” You said, finding her eyes.

“What is it?”

You glanced down at your tangled hands.

It was an insane thing to look at. To feel. It didn’t make any sense. You’d only met her three days ago. You’d only spent an afternoon, part of an evening with her.

Yet so much happened. So much was felt.

You blinked, and her hand was still in yours. It felt good. But it lacked warmth.

It was telling.

At that moment in time, deep down, you knew this wouldn’t last.

Maybe you’ll part ways right after she’d break the engagement off. Maybe you’ll date and break up once you realise it was all comfort and reassurance disguising as love and affection. Maybe she won’t even break the engagement off.

Whatever the reason, you knew you wouldn’t see her at your wedding.

So you had to make one last thing clear.

“I keep the moonflowers.”

#twice x reader #sana x reader #sana imagines #twice imagines #twice sana #minatozaki sana

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billkaulitzwife · 12 days

Text

The Outsiders Coping With a Breakup

(ps guys im not over it leave me alone(i also watched the notebook and i hate myself))

Ponyboy

Reading or writing.

How could you ever hurt this little freshman boy he‘s such a sweetheart

He would probably silently cry into a pillow until he thought his lungs were about to collapse or cave in

if this was now … he‘d chain smoke and listen to lana del rey while looking out a moonlit window

he definitely listens to Elvis to get over it.

I don’t know what exactly he would read to get over it but probably some sad ass Edgar Allan Poe. Annabelle Lee lookin ass.

He‘d write the most heart breaking

tear dripping

heavy breathing sad poetry ever.

show him a romance novel.

he’d never stop reading them until he got over it.

just the bare thought of it drives him nuts.

so he reads.

Johnny

if you hurt this man he would probably hurt himself.

he would dream bout it and wake up in cold sweats, tears running down his face.

in all honesty

i think he‘d be artistic with it

he’d somehow turn each and every single tiny thought into something about you

whether it be thinking about a teddy bear then contorting it into nothing but an image of you and him.

he would never be able to look at the places you went together the same.

he would be an artist.

hand him a pencil and he’ll make your heart break and ache.

might etch and sketch on himself to see if you still care.

ps you obviously do.

Dallas

Doesn’t know how.

All this man does is sleep, drink, fuck, repeat.

being honest this manwhore is probably gonna screw every hoe in Tulsa to try and get his mind off of it,

but every path leads back to what he knows best.

he would smoke more,

party more,

drink away all his problems, etc before facing a problem head on.

people may see him as this

uhh

violent gang member hoodlum kid guy man

but deep down hes really just a kid who wishes he couldve given his momma one more hug

a kid that needed to be loved.

a kid that was never taught how to be loved.

Adelaide

crier.

she’s a big ol’ crier, but it doesnt matter since thats not the only way she copes.

she loves to paint and puts every emotion into her paintings.

she may’ve become a kleptomaniac since she needs the supplies.

the curtis boys would

PERSONALLY

kill you if anything happened to her

one heartbreak and shes done for

love? whats that? it isnt real?

dont hurt her no matter what.

she would also turn to cigarettessss (as if she doesnt smoke enough).

adelaide would develop stage five lung cancer before even admitting that love could in the slightest exist anymore.

Sodapop

working.

soda seems like the kinda guy to go through a breakup and cry a lot

but the only thing that really helped was work.

he’d probably get a raise

yk with how hard and how much he’d be working to get over it.

his siblings would warn him about not overworkimg himself

and guess what.

he didnt listen and got really sick from all the stress.

i know for a fact he would keep away from cigarettes even if someone said they help and he believed it

he would only ever listen to the radio

hoping and praying that when he’d hear a love song he‘d hear your voice

Darrell

probably the most sane of everybody while dealing with his bs

he wld obviously be heart broken

but not to the point he needed some insane coping mechanism.

he would probably meditate.

i mean this is the sixties cmon he’s either gonna do wxxd

or meditate.

as soon as a thought of you came up and his mind started to panic he would sit on the couch and

well.

relax.

he probably has the healthiest coping mechanism he’s definitely got his life together

the others are jealous as fuuuuck

Steve

bro wouldnt eat.

every time he thought about the breakup

he thought it was because he was strong enough

or that he was too chubby for his girl.

one time he passed out while on the way to work and the gang freaked out so bad

they couldnt take him to the hospital so they carried him home and stuck a juice box in his mouth

eventually his ass woke up and they all cheered like the war had just ended “HIP HOORAY!”

but then in all seriousness

he needed to get his weight back up so the curtis kids make him eat at their house

even if he says he ate.

theres always snacks for him laying around thay house from then on out

Two-Bit

drinking.

do i have to explain.

in the novel pony said two-bit was famous for shoplifting and his black-handled switchblade…

but for some reason i know he wouldnt shoplift any more.

(he sure did teach adelaide how to tho)

along with his love for “shopping” you gotta remember he’s a heavy alcoholic

he’d drink away all of his problems and thoughts until he blacked out.

his buddies would think its just your average keith

but in all reality he’s really struggling

even though he seems like the usual drunk happy joking guy

HE IS HURTTT.

okay thanks for watching todays vlog

if u ever need to vent please dont be scared to message me bruv im sure Ik how to help.

#the outsiders 1983 #darry curtis #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #sodapop curtis #dallas winston #steve randle #two bit mathews #the outsiders headcanons #greasers #adara curtis #the outsiders incorrect quotes #the outsiders x reader

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illryiannightmare · 4 months

Text

okay so im hyperfixated on epic the musical rn and i am just. so in love with it.

here are some specific parts im in love with:

• just a man bangs on its own, but the forgive mes being there because hes activily killing a child (after having a large portion of the song talking about he reminds him of his son) is like. oop

• odysseus sounds so pretty in full speed ahead ahhhh and this is one of the reasons its now one of my dream roles.

• i absolutely fucking love how the lotus eaters sound. it also kinda sounds like one laughed when they told the direction of the cave.

• im also in love with how polyphemus sounds. he sounds so fucking funky!! i also like the way the rhyme scheme is slightly different in the end of this song so that the words last to die feel more startling. there is a pause that we feel and you can tell odysseus feels it too. we are just as surprised as he is.

• survive feels appropriately desperate, as shown by the pacing of the song, i really like when polyphemus pulls out the club at the end and the chorus is flipped, its really funky and i enjoy it. the calls for captain followed by the silence of the club is heart-wrenching sound of the club is delightfully done. the cello? bass? in the background that starts when the club first appears is also delicious.

• i really like remember them, for the musical elements of course. but also because "if nobody hurts you, be silent." is so fucking funny to me. like bitch why are you screaming if youre not hurt. shut tf up. its hilarious. also odysseus is so fun to sing in this one. i do feel like the wording at the end of the song doesnt flow as well as it could? it feels like it should be "i am the infamous. i am odysseus" not "i am the infamous, odysseus" i know my version doesnt make as much sense but it also gives chance for a belty line which is always fun.

• i like storm, but only because i like to imagine one of his men looking at him like "are you fucking insane" when he tells them to aim for the sky with the harpoons lol

• i like when the voice goes treasure during keep your friends close because i can hear odysseus going dude wtf in his head.

• ruthlessness is my absolute favorite. there are so many things about this song i absolutely love. fistly that poseidon says he doesnt get upset easily like bruh you cause hurricanes when you get slightly upsetti lmao. but i really like the pause of silence before die. (i do have like a whole stage scene set up for that innmy head already) i love the barely audible screams for captian under the screams of ruthlessness is mercy, and you can just hear the devastation poseidon has wrought. i also love the call back to remember them.

my one critique about ruthlessness is that the vocal tone of all i gotta do is open this bag sounds. so much like lin manuel mirandas tone while playing hamilton to me lmao.

#epic #epic the musical #epic the ocean saga #epic the troy saga #epic the cyclops saga #odysseus #musical theatre #musical theater kid #musical theater #musicals

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dcamato · 6 months

Text

“Why…why can’t you love me? I’m telling you im leaving and you aren’t even fighting for me. Why am I not worth fighting for? Did you EVER love me?!” Steve chokes out through a river of tears falling down his cheeks. They’d gone to Indy for the weekend, some holiday shopping for the Party and everyone else and a chance to cut loose and have some fun for them. Eddie had been weird all day - when they went to the diner for lunch (the waiter crossed the line leaving his number there and Steve made sure to use the napkin before leaving it behind); when they were shopping, Eddie kept moving away from Steve no matter what Steve did to stay close. By the time they’d hit the bar, it was like being alone again. Steve didn’t know what he’d done but he tried to fix it. Bought Eddie a drink, kept trying to put his arm around him, asking him to dance…when Eddie got upset and actually pushed Steve away, he was done. He watched Eddie start talking to some dude (who looked quite a bit like Steve, btw).He walked back to the hotel, tears threatening every step. He tried to call Robs (no answer) and even thought about calling Nancy (add to this pain? Maybe not) when the door opens. “I’ll be gone in a few, dude, so you can bring your date back here.” Eddie is looking down, pain and shame fighting for first on his face. “Stevie…” “no, you can’t say that to me right now, no. Pretty clear now,thinking back on the day, you want nothing more to do with me. Don’t know what I did but fine, I’ll go.” “Steve, please just…” You’re free to do and see and fuck whoever you want since you obviously don’t want me.” “HARRINGTON!” Stop! Please…just give me a minute to talk. Please, baby…” “Why…why can’t you love me? I’m telling you im leaving and you aren’t even fighting for me. Why am I not worth fighting for? Did you EVER love me?!” Eddie can barely see through his own tears but he grabs Steve as they both crumple to the ground. The next few minutes are silent, punctuated with sobs, deep breaths and mumbled words of comfort. When he can finally breathe and he knows Steve is calm enough to listen and truly hear the words, Eddie starts talking - “you are worth more to me than I could ever give and that was my problem. I made it yours these last few days, actually, and you don’t deserve that. You don’t deserve someone like me - doing nothing, going nowhere, with no future. You deserve the white knight, fighting dragons for you, going into battle for you. Coming back to you to sing your praises and offer their love. The best I can do is the last one - and I know that’s not enough. You deserve the world and all it has to offer, not some tiny corner of it that’s not much more than dirt. Since I knew I’d never be brave enough to leave you - I love you to damned much for that - I had to make you hate me enough to leave. Guess I am good at something at least. Just didn’t realize how…how soul deep the pain of you leaving would actually be. I don’t deserve you, even less now with what I’ve done but YOU don’t deserve to think it’s because your unloveable or not worthy of love. You are so insanely lovable and deserve to be loved by better than the likes of me…”. Eddie’s eyes shone, shed tears gripped tight to his lashes. He refused to hurt this beautiful man that he would love forever, not one more moment of pain would he cause him. His love for Steve simply wouldn’t allow it. Steve, for his part, was in turns confused, angry, hurt, awed and enamored. Every word spoken healed a crack in his heart; it made him understand how dumb they both were (yeah, Robs had said they needed to work on communication) and how much he needed to make Eddie understand right now - “Eds, sweetheart, you’re an idiot.” “HEY!…” “No, you are but so am I. We both want to give each other everything and we think the other one is going to leave to find it. Baby, to me, you ARE my knight,- you nearly died for a town that hated you, but you stay in the face of that and that is so, so brave; you defend my honor regularly with those shitheads when they get mouthy. You kill the spiders I can’t bring

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #first post #be kind #feeling a lot #wish this was me

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eggtartz · 1 year

Text

a/n : my baby fever is going insane 😭

masterlist

a morning with kakucho

"papa! papa wake up!" the small figure shooked the man who was snoring. kakucho opened his eyes to see his daughter still in her pyjamas looking excited as ever.

"papa! wake up! mama said she made breakfast and i only get to eat them if you're there!" his daughter pounced on his chest making kakucho groan, noting that her daughter is getting older and heavier everyday. "okay, okay princess im up. you go ahead first while papa go and wash his teeth okay?"

his daughter screeched an okay and ran down the hall to the kitchen while kakucho lazily woke up from the warm bed. it's been eight years into the marriage now and you two had your first daughter for almost seven years now. it's been a long time since kakucho retired from bonten that he wasted no time to propose to you and settled down. life was difficult for the two of you back then considering how kakucho was still paranoid of his surroundings but it became better.

so your first daughter was born.

kakucho washed his face with warm water and took his toothbrush. after that he went to the kitchen where he saw his wife standing at the counter, your daughter at her own chair giggling. kakucho sighed in happiness, at how you two have come a long way and became parents now.

"papa!" your daughter tried reaching out to him while being in her chair that restricted her movements. kakucho close the distance and touched her face, making her giggle more and happily swinging her arms and legs. "now, now settle down you two. let's eat breakfast then we'll go the-"

"park!" your daughter interrupted at the mid of your talk because she was excited to go out. kakucho smiled at his daughter's behavior and sat down at his seat while mumbling a thankyou at you. your baby was about it gobble up her meal until you stopped her. "hold on baby, what do you say to mama when she worked hard to make you breakfast?"

"oh! thankyou mama!" she said and ate her meal hurriedly like a starved man, dirtying her napkin. she finished her meal, well most of it in less than ten minutes. "what's with veggies baby? not gonna touch them?" kakucho gestured to the neglected broccoli on his daughter plate.

"no! veggie bad taste!"

"now, how are you gonna be strong and beat boys when you don't eat your veggies?" kakucho tilted his head while poking the vegetable on her plate. your daughter hesitantly scooped the vegetable and shoved it down her throat, chewing them slowly with a clear frown on her face. "that's my good girl now finish all of them okay?"

"im eating them just to be strong papa! if i eat all of them, i'll be stronger than you!" kakucho laughed at her words, you staring at their interactions in awe. your heart grew warm at this scene that you were blessed with everyday. "mama! today me and papa are gonna do the dirty plates!" your enthusiastic daughter jumped from her chair and dragged her father to the sink while her eyes are silently telling you to go out from the kitchen. "oh okay. i'll take a shower then you two because we'll go the park yes?"

"yup! now shoo mama, me and papa are going to be busy! right papa?" her eyes sparkled and kakucho nodded. your heart melted so you left the kitchen. "okay baby so papa would clean and you would dry. get that?"

"yes!"

"be careful and put the dry dishes here, in this basket okay?"

"yes!"

"are you listening to me baby?"

"yes!" no she wasn't. she was too focused on the bubbles the soap made and her attention was distracted. kakucho laughed again and blew more bubbles from the soap that one of the bubble popped at her nose, making her giggle. kakucho did the dishes and dried them and told her daughter to take a shower.

after an hour or so, you were already done wearing a sundress while kakucho helped your daughter (even though she insisted she wore her dress herself saying she's already grown up). so you three march to the park and your daughter gleefully went to the playground while you two sat on the grass nearby.

"say kakucho, you wanna try having sons after this?" kakucho snapped his head to look at you and blushed without him noticing. "o-oh i thought you're okay with one child?"

"oh it's just she asked me the other day for a brother because she was getting lonely" you reminisce the day your daughter who just came back from kindergarten was helping you with lunch.

"mama? can i ask you something?"

"yes baby what is it?"

"can i have a baby brother?"

"oh? why do say that?"

"oh it's just my friend said she's gonna have a baby brother and i don't know how they look like. so im curious! also, mama said not to waste the toys so if i have a baby brother to play with the toys with, it won't go to waste! right mama?"

you stared at her fidgeting in her special seat while she did her homework "but mama, her mom said that having another baby is painful. i don't want you to be in pain too so if mama doesn't want a baby brother, then it's okay!" she said that cheerfully but you knew your daughter too well and she was a terrible liar. she couldn't hide the disappoinment in her voice also she was averting her gaze, meaning that she doesn't want to cry.

"sure baby, if that's what you want" her teary eyes looked at you and she held a big smile.

"how could i refuse her if she's asks so sweetly like that kakucho?" you two were looking at your daughter who was talking to another kid in the neighborhood.

"okay y/n. i'll support you all the way okay love?" your husband patted your head and kissed your forehead lovingly. you three had a pleasant time that day and only came home when your daughter was knocked out in exhaustion.

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev x y/n #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x yn #fluff #tokrev kakucho #tr kakucho #kakucho x reader #tokyo revengers kakucho #kakucho hitto #kakucho x y/n

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 5 months

Note

I know I’ve probably done enough yapping about stsg and how much I love them but but but but….. the way u talked about suguru being jealous when reader has a partner?? Simply because he wants to make sure that you’re being loved and cared for enough??? I’ll actually explode right now oh my god I’m so serious he’s so loving?? I’m gonna be perfectly honest if I was his bsf I would be completely insufferable because if you wanted me to spend even a moment apart from that man you would have to drag me away kicking and screaming HES SO WIFE MATERIAL AUGHHHHHHHH. Oh god but imagine him if reader was cheated on by their partner I need to see him feral and ANGRYYY 🙏🙏 -stsg anon :3333

^ stsg anon this was my live reaction reading this YOU’RE SO……. wow we are just FEEDING each other’s sugu obsession aren’t we 😭😭😭 AS WE SHOULD!!!!!

BUT NO OKOKOK I . this makes me a little insane. FIRST OFFFF i’m so glad u agree??? i just think it’s so vital that he isn’t some possessive douchebag who thinks you belong to him or whatever, he just has a very firm belief that you deserve the best and that happens to be Him LMAO. he knows you better than he knows himself, knows what makes you happy and what buttons not to push — so he really just wouldn’t be able to stand seeing you with someone who’s making you uncomfortable, who can’t give you what you need… :<

tbh that might also be what pushes him into confessing because he’s like im RIGHT here. i can show you what you deserve. i would fold

BUT STSG ANON MY LOVE MY LIGHT THE CHEATING IDEA????????? GENIUS.

oh he would be fucking FERAL alright like genuinely i think that’s the only time you really see him Angry. i’ve talked abt this before but !! to me sugu really is the kinda guy who seems very chill and composed but the MOMENT his loved ones are involved he’s just Fuming. like. he’s soooo scary.

first off. i think he would just be in disbelief??? like he’d believe you INSTANTLY don’t get me wrong but his brain just physically can’t wrap itself around the fact that someone would cheat on you. ESPECIALLY someone who is just so undeserving of you????? he thinks you’re soooo out of their league so just . the idea of it …… he doesn’t get it. he doesn’t want to understand.

but okok so his mother instincts would definitely tell him to focus on comforting you first and foremost. he just has this really insatiable need to soothe you. so if you come to his house and you’re just sobbing then his immediate instinct isn’t ”im gonna kill whoever did this” (thats later lol), but ”i need to make sure they’re okay.”

ohhh and if you call him … he is RUNNING to your house asap. no matter how far away it is. if it’s close enough to walk i think you’d open the door to see him just sweating, panting etc etc bc he literally ran as fast as he could to get to you. sprinting down the street like his life depends on it ohhhh he’s so…

AND THEN he’s just. so soothing. soso gentle. makes you tea and lets you cling to him and urges you to get all the tears out. just rubbing your back and whispering little soothing murmurs into your ear :((( until you calm down. and THAT’S when he makes you tell him what’s wrong.

and ohhhhhhh boy….,,,,, stsg anon………… the way he would just silently go feral. like. you barely notice it. you’re probably too upset to. but something in his jaw tightens and his eyes go dark and his hold on you grows just a smidge tighter, like that protective instinct inside him is crawling out of his skin…

it’s a little tough but i think he keeps it all under wraps as long as you’re there. so he can focus on making you feel better. just reassuring you, letting you know how much you deserve, how you shouldn’t waste your breath on someone so useless. like it’s OBVIOUS that he’s angry yk but he tries to maintain his composure. for you.

but ………….. after that. like. i’m thinking maybe you stay the night and he lets you sleep in his bed (maybe crawls in beside you if you ask for it bc you’re just really in need of stability and he’s far too eager to give it to you), and then you wake up and he’s making you breakfast and just kinda. casually lets you know that he’s gonna Talk to your partner. your ex partner. because if there’s one thing he refuses to budge on, it’s the fact that you’re breaking up with this idiot whether you like it or not. that’s the One thing where he doesn’t even hear you out, he’s not having it, you deserve to be happy and no one is allowed to hinder that.

and so he Talks to them <3333 and by talk i mean he very calmly but firmly tells them never to contact you again, and that if he sees them try they’re dead. (is he just trying to scare them? does he mean it? who knows who knows but what matters is that it works and you dont hear from them again <33)

i just really think this whole scenario makes something inside of him snap. i think that silent fury bubbles up every time he sees you question your worth, every tear you shed because of it. suguru is just so empathetic yknow? it tears him apart inside. makes him want to throw up.

and ohh god forbid you got trust issues after the whole cheating thing… i think that’s probably when he’d confess because he’d quite literally rather die than have to watch you go through the same thing with some other idiot. he really, genuinely, sincerely doesn’t trust anyone but himself to love you enough.

anyway im done in conclusion i love Suguru Geto <3333

#THIS MADE ME LOSE IT STSG ANON #LIKE GENUINELY #HES SOOOO #oh ur so realllll i would NOT let this man be away from me for more than two seconds if he was my bestie #hes SO wife and so loving and just <33333 he just loves you sooooo much its ridiculous #ask tag ✩#stsg anon !! ✩

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autisticempathydaemon · 6 months

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Busybee my dear, hello from a fellow queer trans asain! i would love a matchup if its not too much trouble for you :3c

What song are you currently fixated on?

Oh my god, my friends and I have recently started making monthly playlists and it’s one of my favourite things to do; just curate a playlist over the course of a month!! currently its a load of fnaf living tombstone music BUT I’ve also been obsessed with The Distance by Cake? As a drummer, i absolutely adore the bass of this song!! Or Super Bon Bon by Soul Coughing has also some absolutely amazing drums!! Apart from that, I’m generally in love with everything Crane Wives BUT particularly for this month, the song Back to the Ground is so delicious!!I would put my fave lyrics but then i might have to transcribe the whole song lol. Just- the entire vibe and meaning of the song is so good (like most every crane wives song ill be honest)

Enneagram type?

Oof oh i havent done thay quiz in a hot minute but last i checked i was a 9w1 which definitely speaks to my lazy ass lol. I’m also an INFP?? I’m also a huge DND nerd so I have taken the alignment quiz and im chaotic good id that helps in any way HAHAH!!!

favourite Redacted audio?

100% the whole of avior and starlights playlist. absolutely devastating. i had to pause the playlist several times and lie down for a minute because i was so absolutely insane abt them. i love them so deeply. I’m definitely more drawn to the more plot heavy characters and arcs as compared to like ashers or davids which is more like cute couple moments (not that they dont have plot but its like. ashers playlist vs marcus’s ykyk) but that being said my favourite video of all time is probably elliots HBS video!! He is my favourite boy i will not lie i am so utterly obsessed with him and i would absolutely write pages upon pages abt why i love him and why his character is so my favourite for the ever.

fave platonic boy?

ASHER !! OR GUY!! I love silly dudes and they are peak silly boys. honestly i could see myself being best buds with Guy because we’re both so dirty minded and very clingy silly?? but there are also aspects where i would balance him out, like while i do love being chaotic i also understand the importance of just stfu and being silent every once in a while so i thunk there wld be times where there ARE shenanigans but also times where hes rambling my ears off and i can just sit. and listen. And I do love the hc that Guy plays DND and now i can absolutely imagine us playing dnd together OR binging dnd playthroughs. AND for asher, I feel like i wouldve had a crush on him because hes so like silly but also hes such an absolute sweetheart darling and hes so endearing that u just cant help but love him yk? but it wld be one of those friendship crushes that just means we end up being super close.

what gets the big boy a-snoozin?

anythin thay involved peoples voices. like straight up listenin to people talk absolutely sends me straight to dream land asap!! its kinda specific though like, if its a podcast? I can’t listen to those. the voice quality just sounds different from like a video of someone talking?? to me at least. And i can only fall asleep to videos of people talking (which is lowkey how. i got into boyfriend audios in the first place. amen insomnia). so now i have a sleepin playlist that consists of boyfriend (and girlfriend) audios, video essays about SCP’s and internet drama (shoutout to the right opinion) and also dnd playthroughs!

do u like long form video essays??

I LOVE VIDEO ESSAYS ABOUT SCP’S. i put them on when i cook!! I love ones that just talk abt the SCPs cause some are truly mind boggling and world shattering! I also listen to video essays abt youtuber drama because im not better then that and also a lot of them have quite impressive video editing!

Imaginary friends?

I think as someone who started watching horror movies at a very young age and is also super obsessed with horror movies/books now, i fully believe that if you had a imaginary friend as a child, you’re absolutely cursed and haunted and u need to be exorcised asap. (/j) no my parents were always super realistic with me and told me point blank that santa wasnt real, imaginary friends were only for mentally ill kids, and the only real big guy is the big boy in the sky. so. no imaginary friends BUT i did and still have a teddy bear (very creatively named bear bear) and i used to cry when i lost him.

i think thats it! i hope. thats enoigh haha. oh, some extra stuff abt me! I love cookin food, it’s very fun if not incredibly tiring, plus im perpetually broke, so tryin to cook up my favourite restaurant meals is also fun! I love drinks too (firm believer that every meal NEEDS to have a drink to accompany it) i’m a particularly huge fan of bubble tea (before it was cool ok) i did try to make my own bubble tea but it got really time consuming and not worth it. i love collecting plushies, i have about 10 in my room and yes they absolutely trigger my sinus but its so worth it. i love gamin and one of my first big boy buys was a gamin PC that i used to play Stray, Sims, Minecraft and most recently, FNAF! please pray i save up enough to get BG3. ٩( ᐛ )و

ok now thats really enough! thank you for this!! even if u dont get round to doin a matchup for me, thanks for lettin me ramble abt my interests :3 the questions are actually so fun hehe <333

Oh, I really like you. Not just because you gave me a lot of info to go on but because you and I have so much in common! Us queer, trans, Asian Type Nines have to stick together which is why I’m so pleased to pair you with Lasko.

I know I say this all the time, but it’s the perfect amount of similarities and differences that make a good pair in my opinion. I think your shared love of DnD, your introversion, your queer trans identity (because Lasko is queer and a whole allegory for a trans childhood, bless his heart) would be a great foundation for a solid relationship. Yet, it’s the differences that bring the spark like your love of horror where he would be squeamish or your chaotic good to his lawful.

I have such clear snapshots in my head of what your relationship would be like; if only I were an artist. You remind me of @itsdaifuku’s lovely piece of Dear as a guitarist and Lasko watching, starstruck, from the crowd; that would be you but as the drummer. I also love to imagine the two of you in the kitchen: you cooking, him mindlessly grading papers, an SCP video on, and Lasko looking up aghast when he finally tunes into what you’ve both been listening to.

Song:

I mean she even cooks me pancakes/ And Alka Seltzer when my tummy aches/ If that ain't love then I don't know what love is/ We even got a secret handshake/ And she loves the music that my band makes/ I know I'm young but if I had to choose her or the sun/ I'd be one nocturnal son of a gun

Sorry but not sorry, I’ve projected and given Lasko my elder emo taste in music. It’s cute, it’s iconic, and he’d know all the words- shyly, sheepishly joining in if you start rapping along with it as you cook. I like to imagine 2000’s emo music brings out a silly, karaoke-esque exuberance in Lasko, and then you could be silly together.

Runner-ups:

Milo is one of your runner-ups because (and I know I say this all the time too) it’s so fun to pair that scaredy-wolf with a horror buff. Everything he’s learned about SCPs has been against his will and because he loves you. Hudson is a runner-up because I’m obsessed with pairing musicians with DJ Anxiety; he’d love you and your drumming so much.

note: thank you so much for waiting 💕 I’m glad you had fun!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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lyss-butterscotch · 6 months

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btw im obsessed over furina too shes literally just me and if you by aaany chance wanna ramble about her feel free to, tis an invitation. if not thats fine too! boop

Omg kiki hi!!! You have no idea that i just like buried my face to a pillow cuz oh gee golly gosh oh sovereigns above this girl. THIS GIRL.

[Obvious spoilers for fontaine archon quests and furinas story quest]

Literally abnormal about her she deserves all in the world. We have hands to give furina pats on the head we can speak so we can tell furina she did it i am so jdhdjsyshjsjsjsn waaaaaaaaa

I love how they paced her characterization throughout each patch, idk i just feel like its well paced. The first patch shows that shes all bark and no bite. All the flare all the drama with neuvillette being the one truly working the system (you can see it in the patch art too!). I just couldnt understand how she is oh so shamelessly show offy when she literally has nothing to show for but her title like damn i felt bad for neuvillette for dealing with her. But the way she falters and hesitates, just makes you think theres something else going on. But i still felt like she HAS a bite, she just for some reason doesnt use it so i was just expecting her to break and show power later on.

Then act two. Man i never wanted to punch a character so bad like arlecchino LEAVE HER ALONE MAN SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THIS SLANDER. Its when i start to think shes not the god after all. She keeps saying she has plans but its 'secret', as much as i wanna defend her arlecchino was right. She has nothing to show for, she has no plan, no act to help fontaine so what is there to defend? But she CLEARLY cares for the prophecy so WHY ISNT SHE DOING ANYTHING. Arlecchino saying that furina might not be a god after all just makes me even more insane about the plot. Like okay theres no way the gnosis isnt in the oratrice and neuvillette is the sovereign so what the hell is going on with furina???

Then the final patch. Omg oh god oh golly oh my lords above. I hate how even as she got duped into a trial she is still trying to keep up her bark. The way she says 'THE TRIAL OF THE HYDRO ARCHON SHALL NOW BEGIN' with so much fervour like she is STILL trying. It made me think shes gonna reveal some super important bg plot shes been working on to make us go 'wow she really is a great archon'. BUT THEN. BUT THEN SHE GETS OUTED FOR NOT KNOWING WHY THE ORATRICE LET OUT A WRONH VERDICT, NOT WANTING TO SHOW OFF HER HYDRO POWERS, AND BEING AFFECTED BY PRIMORDIAL SEA WATER???

Like at that point i think furina youre done. Its over. But the way she cried and begged for people to believe her still WAAAAAAAA. LIKE GIRL WHY ARE YOU STILL TRYING STOP THIS HURTS TO WATCH. Then she goes full catatonic once the trial is over urgh bby no :(

AND THEN THE WHOLE FOCALORS LORE DROPPED AND LITERALLY EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE, ALL HER DRAMA AND BARK MAKES SENSE. AND THE WAY IT REVEALS THAT NOT ONLY DID FURINA ***NOT*** KNOW FOCALORS' PLAN, IT ALSO MEANS SHE THOUGHT THAT HER FAILING THE TRIAL MEANS ***SHE*** WAS GONNA BE THE REASON FONTAINE WAS GONNA DROWN. AAAAAAAGAFAFDAADFAGAAGSHS

I hate how focalors specified that furina had to act like 'how people think gods act' and not just 'act like a god'. I hate it. I hate how she was trying to be nice but in fear that itll blow her cover she had to shine brighter to blind the people, when there was nothing to show underneath it. Dies dies dies!!!!!!!!!

As much as i hate that they didnt really show furina moving out of the palais mermonia. I think its fitting. How shes so tired of all the flair she has to put up she really just... wanted to leave. Be done with it. No flare just slips away silently.

Im glad that she and neuvillette is still in good terms, i think atleast after 500 years of putting an act together + neuvi finding out the shit she had to go through, he'd atleast have some form of camaraderie or respect for her. The fact that he is supportive of her being involved in a performance after she moved out is so waaaaaa she deserves it!!!! I think its clear that despite her needing a break, performing what she wants is something she likes to do and im glad she has something thats entirely her own going on for her :)

Also also la vaguelette is the song ever. I hope hyv is happy that they made a song that can make me cry 1 second in. Literally best song after yunjins opera song. They did not hold back and my heart weeps everyday.

Also the fact that now she just eats macaroni everyday is a mood. Boop

#okay sorry long rant #but i am abnormal about her #focalors dude like give her a break #lyssten to my rambles

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wrongcaitlyn · 19 days

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Ok so I have to admit the amount of like Conan Gray= a kind of tyt variation of Nico ig?

So like I know that you’ve mentioned like some of Conan’s outfits and his voice are similar to Nico so I rlly kinda fell down a like rabbit hole of research and stuff so here’s my findings:

-first, honestly just his looks?? Like you’ve mentioned how long his hair is growing kinda long and curly, and Conan’s hair during his Superache era honestly matches that soooo well. Also, how Rick kinda mentioned Nico has like a sleeper build, SO DOES CONAN. But like honestly how Conan got a haircut recently, I can’t totally see everyone pressuring him into getting it cut and the posts that Conan did for that is like so himmm idk.

-OK NEXT. Songs omg. I’ve literally been repeatedly releasing to his discography lately and I literally see so much as some stuff Nico would write if he was like less pop ig? Here’s the list:

Family Line- LITERALLY JUST HIM here’s some lyrics

“God, I have my fathers eyes But my sisters when I cry” like omg??-“It’s hard to put it into words How the holidays will always hurt..I watch the fathers with their little girls..And wonder what I did to deserve this, how could you hurt a little kid?..I can’t forgive, I can’t forget you..Cause now I’m scared that everyone I love will leave me”

Literally so abt Biancaaa and Hades. And the now I’m scared that everyone I love will leave me?😭 Tell me Nico didn’t write that I dare u. But honestly just that entire song I see as tyt Nico

Summer Child- I know you’ve listened to this one bc it’s a chapter title so I’m not gonna go into serious detail but like, so him and kinda Will? Idk I feel like the first and second verse r abt Nico and the rest r like Will

JIGSAW- Omg I see this as so much abt Nico’s struggle with being trans but also like kinda wanting Hades just to love him “If being less insane would make you stay..Then I’d be more like my sister..Say thank you maam and mister..For youuuu” HELLO? So abt the comparison Hades had with Nico and Bianca

There’s literally so many songs and I can’t get through them all so here’s some shorter summaries. Disaster- abt being scared of confessing to Will and it ruining their friendship. People Watching- about blending in and like just silently observing. Best friend and The Exit you already have so I don’t need to explain. Comfort crowd- abt Will and a bit of Leo being there for him. Checkmate- honestly I think this is just more of the pop tyt has, he and Apollo would have sm fun making this song. Affluenza and BurgerJesus(idk how to spell it)- abt the world he kinda grew up in and like the kids at his hs. I kinda see him being so petty abt it and another song that they’d had sm fun doing. Winner- just the song, it’s him and Hades, I literally don’t make the rules I’m sorry. “Packed my bags at 14 I hadn’t planned on leaving.. But you haven’t been back home for days” Just. Yeah. OK IM ALMOST DONE. Lastly, his connection with his fans and stage presence. I think they both like value so much that connection and vulnerability with their fans through their music, which is such a love abt an artist. Also I feel like their fan bases r rlly similar? Anyways that’s it I’m so sorry it’s this much😭 I just like felt rlly compelled to tell you idk?

thank you for doing the lord's work. this is all entirely accurate.

SLDKFJSD NO BC LITERALLY I SAW A VID OF CONAN ON MY EXPLORE PAGE TODAY AND SENT IT TO MY FRIEND BEING LIKE "i love ni- conan so much i love conan" like they are😭😭so similar😭😭and i realize that is partly bc of how i already had conan kinda in mind when writing this😭😭but like every day every interview every video every picture conan just proves the point more

SO LET'S GO THROUGH THIS IM VERY EXCITEDKSJF

YES YES YES I LITERALLY IMAGINE CONAN AS NICO ALL THE TIME😭his hair especially it's just exactly how i imagine nico's - and im gonna be honest i have no idea what a sleeper build is but they're looks are just. very alike.

OKAY OKAY LITERALLY ALMOST ALL OF THESE SONGS ARE ON MY PLAYLISTSDJF will spoil some: family line, summer child, and comfort crowd are already on playlists, and i HAD affluenza, disaster, winner and checkmate on playlists but then had to remove them bc i had too many songs HOWEVER youre literally so right about all of these and if only i could include them all😭😭also BURGERJESUSSKDJF ive been just calling it boygenius and i absolutely love all the mispellings that song is so iconic (i will never know how to spell it right)

AND YES YES YES. that's one of the things that makes me so like ahh i just truly do think that nico would be an incredible popstar because of the connection that he'd be able to make with his audiences, like i think he has this dry humor that's very similar to conan, and is incredibly sarcastic + also private, while still making such vulnerable and personal music - and that's EXACTLY one of the things that i love about conan, and what i also think makes his fanbase so amazingskdfj i also think there are just so many inside jokes throughout the fandom- OH OH OH AND CONAN'S LIVESTREAMS. THEY ARE. SO NICO.SDKF i can't they're literally one and the same and now that i think of it there's probably a joke somewhere in the talk your talk universe of them being twins or something

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ANALYSIS I LOVED THIS <33

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks

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juliapark13 · 1 year

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Something that I will never understand in this fandom is how you all fight tooth and nails to prove that the guys are almost perfect, have exactly 0,1 amount of negative personal traits and will never do anything wrong in their lives (and if they evee done then they learned the lesson, changed their mind 180 degrees). First and foremost, they are people. Ordinary people. Yes, hard working, yes, attractive and charismatic. But still people. Flesh and bones and physical needs. I've been an admirer of them since 2016 and during my obsessed era managed to watch EVERY their content since even before and from their debut. Every, every one of them has negative, unattractive, repulsive traits. I could list it all if needed. The idealization of them is insane. The idealization of them by the shippers is even more so.

Just like the fandom idealizes the guys to the max so do you, shippers, ultimately idealize your ship. Love to death, never seen before strongest love, absolute adoration between them, can never do anything wrong to each other, will never look towards another person, can never hurt each other in any way, intended or not, public image or personal, deep feelings. It's always a projection going on. The entertainment industry is basically built on projection. And the love that you claim jikook have is what YOU created, YOU believe they have. You created something that makes your heart flatter and days brighter and more tolerable and went along with it. Because in all honesty and objectivity you and i will never know what happens behind the scenes. Yes, they do have a great chemistry and a romantic fleur flying around them but, unfortunately, it really doesn't mean much. When 2 romantic, passionate, sensual, naturally flirty people meet each other and become closely acquainted, they just happen to radiate this energy. Speaking from many instances I've seen it in real life.

Could I be wrong? Totally. They could be banging each other and saying lovely words to each other. Could you be wrong? Of course. They could be passionately in love with some noncelebrity and we'd never know it. They could be going around courting someone else. Even if you believe they arE nOt LiKe ThIs, jK wOuLd nEvEr ReLeAsE gCfT jusT fOr tHeM tO bE fRiEnDs, hE'd nEvEr pLaY uS lIkE tHiS, you will never know them personally, you never know what goes in their head. Why you all feel so fucking entitled to their personal life, emotions and feelings? Why do you think you know what's in their head? Just recently A LOT of shippers and armys swore death that Jimin doesn't want solo activity, that he doubtly would do something solo but here we are, 7th of february.

tbh, for quite a long period jikook fandom was my safe zone, im a sucker for romance and a lovesick fool, sue me. Your idea of this couple and romance was just my brand and jikook being soft and caring did things to my poor heart. So i have spent some time going around, silently observing. And you know what? Jikookers are slowly becoming taekookers. Yay to the taekookification of jikookers! Maybe some of you all don't notice it but that's a fact. Theories and assumptions all day long, drama, tragedy and dumbassery. I literally saw postS about jk going here and there to spend time with th and others friends to hide his relationship with jm because they'll be gone to serve in the military soon. That's how bad it's become in some of yalls head.

but anyways, back to idealization. Yeah, you all idealize the shit outta this ship. You think jk and jm could never do anything wrong and bad to each other, do any harm, intentionally or unintentionally. Which erects a question. What is then about the rise of taekookers? I know you all gonna defend jk and th and tell that they are kind, they love jm wholeheartedly, tHeY wOuLd SpIt oN mE/bUrN tO kEeP jm WaRm, it's not their fault taekookers are deranged and unhinged, internet is not reality, jm is okay with it, in reality jm is very loved and nobody would ever try to hurt him, it's not jk and ths fault, they have every right to interact however they wan, what, should brothers/besties not interact anymore at all???? All of aforementioned, every single word would be right if you all said it in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019 and even 2020. Those years, you would be absolutely right if you replied to me that jk and th have every right to interact. But guess what, the world and the fandom changes. What simply was a ship war years ago is a serious deal now, with serious consequences that have a high probability to be destructive and damaging. People on the internet are real, they are not something that can be shrugged off. Accounts of twitter and yt are not just pictures with a bot behind them, their posts are not AI-generated bunch of random words, it's their mind, real thoughts. They log out of twittr and go shop for food with these thoughts going in their head, they go to work, interact with othrs, consult, service their clients and still have these thoughts in their head. Do you even know how many times my bts-fan friends had gone to fandom meetings and then told me there were hella lot of shippers and many of them claimed jimin to be a tkk homewrecker? Hint: every single time they went to a fandom meeting. Oftentimes there would be other slurs used against jm.

I know you all dont want to hear it and don't want to even consider it because of idealization but the guys do feed ships, do feed some fandom narratives, do some controversial things. And yes, recent taekook live is one of them, either people wanr to admit it or not. Even jikook had some moments to intentionally stirr up the crowd (the famous jimin sitting on jks laps on a concert moment). They are entertainers in the first place. It's their job to keep an audience engaged. But that's okay, that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that you all fight tooth and nails to defend jikook. It's weird how you all claim jk to be a genius, an overly intelligent person (and i believe he probably is), smart and grown up man but turn a blind eye to the fact that his certain desicions do harm jimin's image and potentially his well-being. Jk has greatly graduated with a degree in media. I do believe he's a gentle soul and probably has a nice and kind personality, and is quite smart and creative. But he does involve himself in an activity that does nothing but feed the harmful type of delusion, the one that a potential to become dangerous for the person he claims to be someone he's close to. I myself am getting a degree in a field that involves media, mediaplay and pr and let me tell you, masses are quite easily moved, the mass narrative is changable and flexible. Celebrity like bts have a huge power over people and their minds. They literally can integrate any narrative they want and it wil be successfully integrated, soon or later. Jk literally has an almost flawless image and brand power. He is potentially able to say whatever he wants and people will be on his side. If he wanted, he could end shipping, soon or later, eventhougg there still will be a small percent or highly radicalized shippers. Again, any mass narrative is movable and changeable, ANY.

So here we have, a highly respected artist, with a great public image and brand power, who's claimed to be very smart, intelligent, who graduated with honors with a degree in media. This certain artist has a part in his fandom of people who spend their days and nights to make up theories. These part of the fandom keeps on trying to ruin the artist's bandmate's (close friend/brother/lover/whatever you consider them) image and brand (either you want it or not but public/brand image is important in the industry), and potentially has quite a high probability to be harmful to that bandmate's well-being. The artist doesn't adress the problem, the artist keeps getting himself involved in that deranged part of his fandom, thanks to the artists' decision makings the deranged part keeps thriving on, getting bolder and more vile.

Like, I'm not asking jk or th to say he has a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, it's their personal life, for god's sake, nobody should ever have word in it. But god, it's not hard to openly and straightforwardly reply to one of the millions' of deranged comments and say that you are not romantically involved with any of your bandmates (which would start an anti-shipping movement in your fandom). There would be left a small percent of the most radical deranged breed, the proccess of purification would probably go slowly, but when an artist is stubborn and he really tries to change a narrative, he would eventually get what he wants.

It's not hard to say that you don't want to be shipped with someone, it's not hard to say that you are not in a relationship with your bandmates. I know, there will be people saying he doesn't have to do it, it's not their fault and he has nothing to do with shipping but man, taekookers have gone too far, have become too bold and harmful. You can't keep your silence forever when you are the center of this fucked up delusional harmful created love triangle and your words are valued by both sides. Can't keep silence at least from the ethical standpoint. Like, dude, your bandmate is literally being targetted here and there, how is it okay?

What a long essay. 😄

Do I think they are perfect? No.

Do I think they’ve never had any fight or difficult time? No. They definitely had.

I still think their relationship is extraordinary and their love is something else, because it’s obvious even from the small fraction of their lives we were able to see. I don’t wish for them to be more than friends. I see what they are trying to show us and I don’t ignore it.

BTS members don’t see everything we see. They know about the hate, but they don’t have to know about the amount and level of toxicity. We don’t know how much of this toxicity they’ve seen. They aren’t invested in it like we are. Like you said we don’t know what’s going on behind the closed door.

You should finally get the fact Jungkook isn’t responsible for that. Try to imagine yourself in his place. Would you calculate all your actions and words? He literally doesn’t have to come online and say ‘Me and V are only friends, get over it finally.’ If you hate him because you think he is obliged to do that, you are toxic. Who are you to judge him anyway? You aren’t one of the most famous people in the world. You have totally different life. You can’t even imagine how different everything is for them.

Just we would never agree on this. It’s not worthy for me to continue.

And don’t ever compare jkkrs to tkkrs. The difference is incomparable.

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aethxr-ash · 2 years

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Hi Ash! First of all, how are you? i hope youre doing well! Ive only seen your blog recently and i love your works! And i saw you’re doing matchups and ive never done one of these so i wanted to give it a try. May i request a matchup for genshin impact , bsd, and sk8 if thats alright

- genderfluid (but currently she/they)

- panromantic asexual

- gemini, intp, 5w6

For appearance, I look pretty androgynous and can pass as any gender (thankfully)with some makeup help. my aesthetic changes based on my current preferred gender; grunge (masc) 90s (they) or elegant/cottage core(femme) altho i mix and match when im in the mood. The closest character i look like is gin akutagawa, same eyes, same hair but wavy, and same physique but shorter and i have slightly tan skin. In fact, i cosplayed as her once and it was pretty cool!

For personality, As much as i would like to think otherwise, my friends described me having the same personality and temperament as a grumpy cat and even refer to me as one(lovingly). Silent, comes and goes like a ghost, Constantly judging, looks like is about to stab someone, hates being around people, sassy and sarcastic. Im the ‘leader’ of the group by virtue of being the oldest and looks like i got my shit together but i am as clueless if not more, im only good at pretending I understand and just going with it. when im in my element though i do talk alot more and i can go on and on about things im currently invested in. i would want to have more friends and talk to more people but i always chicken out and stare at people accidentally because i get stuck trying to gather the nerves to talk to them(which paired with my resting bitch face looks like a death glare).

As my friend said, im basically raiden shogun/ei(both the puppet and ei herself) but with scaramouche’s height and sass. I have been kin assigned and i didnt even know what that was at the time

I like aesthetics, fashion, food, art and music. I really like cute and fluffy things especially plushies!(My bed is mostly plushies now) My hobbies are drawing and painting or any kind of art and crafts. Though my free time is currently preoccupied with either reading or playing video games. Really i do anything that keeps me indoors and with least social interaction. If i dont have to leave my room, i wont.

As a person who reads a lot of fics, my favorite dynamics are enemies to lovers and idiot x “oh no thats my idiot”. My love language are quality time, acts of service and physical touch. Memories are my most cherished treasures, although i keep them all to myself and the closest to me only.

I hope i did it correctly. I look forward to reading more from you! Have a nice day and dont forget to hydrate and rest!

- 👻 (you can call me ghost :))

Ps: typing in mobile is hard lol

⊱┊personality matchup for ghost (anon) !

hi ^^ ! thank you for the compliments, it made me smile :) i hope you're doing well too ! enjoy ^^

⊱┊ genshin impact

jean !

✧ knows how to keep you in check if need be

✧ gently but firmly

✧ you'll have to stop her from working herself to death though

✧ she'll listen to you talk whenever you need

✧ she's insanely good at multitasking, so she usually listens while doing paperwork (someone get her an actual assistant please, she's going to work herself into a grave)

✧ she has quite a few of your artworks in her office and she adores them

✧ acts of service as a love language !

⊱┊ bungou stray dogs

margaret mitchell !

✧ she definitely calls her partner things like "honey" and "darling"

✧ you both are incredibly sassy and sarcastic but have a kindness in you

✧ she'll kill for you - after all, you're part of her family now, your honor must be protected

✧ she'll be the social face for you two

✧ loves making memories with you, no matter how small they may seem

⊱┊ sk8: the infinity

reki kyan !

✧ lots of physical touch + quality time with reki

✧ he's not as sarcastic or sassy as you are but he thinks it's badass

✧ he'll teach you to skate (if you want)

✧ or encourage you to skate with him

✧ he really likes it when you come to the skate park to watch him skate, although he won't force you to at all

✧ idiot x oh no thats my idiot vibe

✧ he does stupid stuff sometimes but it's adorable <3

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ahegato · 25 days

Text

[NSFW] Obey Me - fem!MC first time with Leviathan

m.list

TW: nsfw, first time sex, loss of virginity, swearing Characters: Leviachan Writer: ahegato

Context: The MC would probably be pretty nervous since it’s the first time and stuff like that. Idk I lost my virginity when I was like 17 and now I’m really old, so I barely remember it. I just recall worrying about the pain while also knowing it was common, that’s about it lol

You/your pronouns, so basically gender neutral, bUT MC will have female bits.

LEVIATHAN:

don’t worry, it’s his first time too

and he’s 100% more nervous than you are

despite the fact that you’re the one being penetrated here

boy is absolutely terrified that his performance will disappoint you

or even worse, that he’ll hurt you

you don’t have to worry about telling him to take it slow, he’ll take it verrrrrrry slow

he has to gather up courage for almost everything

with him being so nervous, it kind of makes you a little more confident and you dare to take more initiative

at least it’s nice that this is new to both of you, and that you can explore it together

just don’t go too quickly or he might finish before you’ve even started

he’ll keep a hand over his mouth basically the whole time unless you stop him, because everything threatens to make him moan like a porn star

which I assure you that you 100% want to hear, he’s releasing some of the most lewd noises in the world

if you let him finish as is, his eyes will roll up to his skull before going limp

he might as well be dead, you won’t be reaching him for a couple of minutes, but once he’s back he’ll be clingy asf

he’ll be moaning for a while even after you’re done, because he seriously came that hard

BUUUT if you pull out, he’ll cum right as you do, putting you both in the splash zone*, so have fun with that ;)

*unless you guys use protection of course lol

Holy fuck, you’re squeezing him so much. How the hell is he supposed to last longer than a minute? His mouth is open in a silent scream as his eyes nearly roll up in his skull. The sensation is almost overwhelming and the pleasure threatens to take over him, but he reminds himself how vulnerable you are right now. If he were to move now, it could be very painful for you. So he wills himself to stay still, albeit shaking slightly from the effort.

Once you’ve adjusted to him, you begin to grind on him, getting into a steady rhythm as your hips rub against his. Levi slaps a hand over his mouth as a moan threatens to come out.

“No, don’t cover your mouth.” you say, pausing your movements as you pull his hand off. Then you lean down to whisper in his ear, “I want to hear you~”

Levi whimpers as a response, insanely turned on by your dominance.

At some point, Levi loses any shyness that once plagued him, pulling you down into a deep kiss, rubbing his tongue against your lips until you let him in, as well as he begins to thrust up into you.

The pace quickens more and more, and it eventually gets to the intensity where he can’t keep up anymore, overtaken by being riiiight at the edge of his climax.

“I-I-... I’m... I’m gon...” the words come out jumbled and unstable between his panting.

Noticing his movements faltering, you take the reins once more, riding him like there’s no tomorrow, and the demon helplessly trembles from the pleasure, only able to moan and twitch from his position underneath you. He’s putting hentai characters to shame with his whines, and fuck is it hot. He’s so incredibly close that everything else just disappears.

“Cum for me, Levi.”

Upon hearing those four words, the knot in his stomach is instantly unraveled and his eyes roll up into the back of his head as you milk him dry.

✦ 30/11/2023 (Im so sorry lmao) - 12/05/2024 ✦ ahegato ✦

#obey me #headcanons #smut #obey me leviathan #obey me shall we date #leviathan smut #x reader #obey me smut #obey me leviathan smut #ahegato #ahegato obey me #ahegato leviathan #obey me headcanons #obey me smut headcanons

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gaoau · 5 months

Text

一 ; one ; uno

it's so cold warnings — none. word count — 4.0k

next.

ive long realized plenty of things i never needed—the past is never behind us, the present is fleeting, the future doesnt exist. theres a wrinkle in the sands of time. theres a fault in the fabric of the universe. there are many flaws everywhere i look. sano manjiro lies dead before me. mikey lies dead before me. blond hair and a dragon tattoo because we both miss ken. black hair that makes him look too much like shin. white hair and dark bags covered in tears. how many times have i seen this already? why have i seen this already? everything is broken. its disastrous and confusing and suffocating. i dont understand what im looking at.

i remember, just seconds ago, i was busy beating up some random guys from a rival gang. theres a reason we rule over the kanto area. we dont back down from a fight. so where did i go? where am i? why am i seeing this now? these are memories of a future i dont have. these are memories of a future i shouldnt have. its enough to drive me insane when i think that this is all i get for being next to mikey. i hold my breath and choke whenever hes around. that intoxicating grace of his, the one that sets him apart from the world, has been flooding my senses for longer than i can take. and i let him, because i want him to be happy. this is all i get; blood, gore, pain, death, loneliness.

i dont want to think about mikey any longer. ive done all i could, it seems. id just like to be free for one moment. i still see it all, futures im not a part of, futures that takemichi has made sure to change.

he wears that godforsaken dragon tattoo like a brand on his neck. long hair hes kept dyed through the years because he doesnt want to cut it off, but he doesnt want me to style it for him. i look at him and i see ken. its torture. the years have gone by, im still by his side, he still has me locked in place. he hasnt smiled in what feels like eons. im okay with that. his smile, that empty, silent smile has always made my stomach ache. im not okay with that. hes a carbon copy of ken. we both miss him, i know. it hurts him more than me, even if im the one staring at a burning ghost all day, every day.

we're alone. im alone with mikey. im all alone when im with him. its cold on top of this building, in the corner of the world, secluded from the city weve conquered. i stretch out my legs, leaning against the wall, squinting at the reflection of led lights bending to hit my eye. mikey is still as small as ever. hes so small despite sitting on his throne like this. the gun i hold weighs on my hand. neither of us know how to properly handle guns. weve been drowning in this business for over a decade, but we're very clearly still children.

the safety clicks as i press the barrel under my jaw. "itd be so easy, dont you think?" the sound of my voice calls to him. its the only familiar sound in his life. its why ive been staying with him. i couldnt save him, but at least he still clings onto me like this. hes had me trapped for so long that i seem to have forgotten i was ever my own person.

his darkened eyes shift towards me so slowly. i see his face twist into a panicked frown. "whatre you doing?" he doesnt move from where hes sitting against the wall adjacent to mine. he reaches with his foot to tap my knee. stop, hes trying to say, dont even think about it. hes scared, i can tell. ive learned to read him like the open book he is. his light has grown dimmer through the years. hes angry, i can tell. hes wondering if ill leave him, too.

"nothing," i sigh. i lower the gun and leave it on my lap for a second. "m just thinking…" and i think. yes, i think. i know i cant leave him. he doesnt let me. he keeps me tied down to him. a chuckle falls, sardonic. i point the gun at him. "i cant die before you, mikey." ive promised. ive sworn to stay by his side until the bitter end—until his bitter end.

he doesnt bat an eye. "are you gonna kill me?" its funny how he doesnt care that im the one wholl be killing him. im just making my job easier for myself. i wonder what kind of face kisaki will make when he finds out what ive done.

"do you want me to?" i know he does. tonight ill see we find peace, manjiro. im the only one who he can lean on now.

hes quiet for a second. his eyes are like black holes as they swallow up all the light. he stares straight at me without expression. then, in a whisper, he begs, "…please." he doesnt say my name. no, he hasnt said my name more than once in our lives. he calls me by that stupid nickname he made up when we were hanging out at grandpas dojo.

i cant help the soft simper pulling at my lips. hes still the same mikey i know. he still struggles with asking for help, even if its me. but he still asks; hes still vulnerable in front of me. i pat my lap, legs stretched out just for him. "come here, then," i invite him closer, ready to welcome him with open arms, "rest your head for a bit." rest before you leave.

he doesnt hesitate. he never hesitates. in a swift movement, the back of his head collapses onto me. his eyes, the ones hes kept me trapped in for all my life, they dance around the vast expanse of midnight above us. "the stars are lovely today." stars i once promised to drag down to his feet if he asked. stars i swore wed always watch together.

i hum in agreement. "thats why we're here." everyone knows that stars only come out at night. we both know we're the two brightest burning stars in the world. we sit here, where people can see us burn and consume ourselves until we get crushed. "itll be over soon, i promise." the same way i promised him forever. ill hold him until the moment he dies.

"thanks." ah, now he chooses to use my actual name. he can be so unfair. he could save a life, but he decided to take mine away instead. under his charm, i let him drag me down. we die hand in hand.

there are no tears; not from me, not from him. it seems weve both been waiting for the other to make the first move. hes so tired and so am i. with a singed throat, the words sting on my tongue as i remind him, "i love you, manjiro." theres no other feeling in the world like loving sano manjiro. i look into his darkened gaze and deny the truth staring back at me. its all a mess, scraping away at my mind. my love and hate look quite alike.

i can hardly tell light from dark or right from wrong anymore. mikey replies, "i love you." again, he dares not say my name. i hate him. he makes me go weak at the knees, even as i slump against the wall. i wonder if its him or the cross im bearing on my back, weighing me down.

mikey closes his eyes. he wants to let go. hes letting me go. its been years and hes finally letting me go. the wind howls and screams our names in my ears as i press the barrel of my gun to his forehead. we're stars; we'll burn, we'll rest, we'll disappear. we go down together. i shoot. his body relaxes against my legs. i feel the warmth of his blood seeping through my clothes. hes free. the gentle quirk of his lips tells me hes happy hes dead. maybe im just making it up. maybe i just want to believe ive done something.

i lift my head to the sky. the gun is warm against my skin. my pulse doesnt tremble when i pull the trigger.

im free.

but we arent free. i walk into his room to find mikey slumped against a corner. hes here again, a ghost of ken. how come his eyes grow darker every time i look? i scratch away an itch on the underside of my jaw, clearing my throat to let him know im here, it's me. he doesnt bother lifting his head for me. i stand right in front of him, bare feet centimeters away from his crossed legs. ive heard what hes done. he didnt check in with me before killing our friends. if takashi dies, then i stay. if pah dies, then i stay. ken and kei died, so i stay. he knows ill follow him to hell.

it hurts me, too. he cant let go of me and hes bruising my wrists. i want him to be happy. i want him to be free. i want to be free. "takashi, pah, peh, chifuyu." the list rings with poison in both of our ears. how did we get here?

"takemicchi got away," he mumbles. i highly doubt takemichi matters much right now. we stopped trusting him long ago. he changed after bloody halloween and mikey couldnt understand why.

i crouch to try and meet his eyes. charming, deadly works of art. viral. it's been years, but he still holds me in his gaze. "never woulda guessed chifuyu was working with tora. after killing kei, i thought for sure he wouldnt forgive him." theres no sugarcoating needed. i dont censor my words. his wounds are fresh and i keep digging my fingers into his flesh to make them deeper. i make all his mistakes real for him because he wants to be scolded. he cant ask for sympathy—he only asks for cruelty.

theres a pause. a silence that hangs. it's heavy, stagnant. it pulls at the seams. "kazutora needs to go, too."

my knees come in contact with the floor as i lean towards mikey. i wrap my arms around his head, cradling him to my chest. hes still warm. he rests his forehead against me. "theres no time, mikey. you cant do this any longer." youre falling apart, manjiro. i pull my gun from its holster, cocking it as i bury it in his hair.

"set me free." he pronounces that stupid nickname, chaos of my real name. i cant discern if hes begging or ordering me.

i hum softly. he put his trust in me. "i love you." he nods. the gunshot echoes in the quiet room. it rings in my ears. i see splatters of mikeys blood on the wall. i feel his body relax in my arms. with the barrel against my temple, i shoot myself free.

a headache splits my skull apart as i watch this unwind. have i seen this before? no, mikeys hair is pitch black. im glad he doesn't let it fall over his forehead. i don't think i could bear to look at shin so much. i was adamant to cut it for him when he asked. the list is the same, though much longer. takashi, pah, peh, chifuyu, tora, the twins, hakkai, even ken. hes talking with takemichi now. it's easy to tell what mikey wants from him. im no good in this future. i don't have what takemichi has.

there is nothing left here for us. i wait among the shadows and debris, listening to mikey confess all his crimes. he veered down the wrong path. ive kept by his side all this time, holding him at his most vulnerable, but im not a savior. takemichi can save him in a way i can't. all ive done so far is push back the inevitable. mikey falls victim to his dark impulses every time. who am i to stop him? he keeps the safety of his gun on; i don't. i can save myself.

"kill me," he says. i feel like ive heard that before. it's not directed at me, though. i won't stop him. all mikey wants is to die and be free. that's what i want, too.

takemichi is, understandably, confused. he doesn't get it. maybe that's why mikey has chosen him. takemichi tries to figure out what mikeys trying to tell him. he asks about the friends hes murdered. it must be frightening for him to hear his former commander speak so nonchalantly about setting hakkai on fire. he asks about me. mikey glances at where im hidden. i catch the look in his eyes. those eyes that had me wrapped around his finger when he so intensely stared into my soul. they quiver.

hes helpless. hes scared. hes tired. hes horrified. he doesn't know what to do. he pounces on takemichi and threatens him. then a gunshot rings. it's not mikeys, it's not takemichis. and it's certainly not mine. mikey is dead. mikey is free. i swore to him that i would see him to his end. we die hand in hand, don't we, manjiro?

tachibana naoto, hinas little brother shot him. i remember her mentioning him to me once. ironic how hes the one to kill mikey, of all people. as takemichi cradles mikeys dead body in his arms, i step out of my waiting spot. it alerts both men instantly. naoto is wary of my presence, but takemichi believes in hope. he exclaims my name with enthusiasm. perhaps he thought mikey had killed me as well when he didn't answer. as if mikey would ever let me go.

"im just here to pick him up," i let them know i mean no harm.

naoto is a cautious man, if anything. "takemichi-kun, get behind me." id never do anything to hurt takemichi. he doesn't need to be worried about me.

i kneel before takemichi, extending my arms out. i remove mikeys burdens from his chest to take him away with me so we can both find peace. his blood smears on my clothes and i know takemichi will have a hard time forgetting this sight. mikey doesn't weigh much. it's painful knowledge.

as i haul mikey away, takemichi calls, "wait!"

there's nothing left to say, though. mikey has confessed all his crimes. mikey has confessed all his pains. "it's over, takemichi." i can't bring myself to curse him with that stupid nickname after all these years. "it's finally over." we're finally free. welcome home, manjiro. i wonder, if i smiled, would it hurt him? it'd be genuine happiness, but it's not like he'd be able to read that, so i don't. mikeys body is cold and stiff against mine. i let him rest against me, eyes closed and dried tears on his cheeks. he hasn't cried in so long. he leans his head on my shoulder. he always does this when he lets his vulnerability show. "i love you, manjiro," i remind him. hes all i have. i press my gun to the roof of my mouth. i don't get to taste it.

it's never over. my tongue feels dry when i chew on it out of anxiety. ive heard three shots. i see haru waiting behind a corner as mikey finishes his business. i didn't even glance at takemichi before i decided i couldn't do this. i wonder how much longer it'll take mikey to come up here and join me. this is the tokyo we conquered; this is not the dream mikey had. if he'd had a better moral compass, if he hadn't let ken go, if he hadn't put his trust in me, maybe this wouldn't have happened.

i hear footsteps behind me. here he is. i hug one of my legs to my chest, the other one dangling off the edge. we're on top of the world. it's a long way back home from up on this rooftop. he stands next to me in complete silence. so he's left takemichi to die. he was hopeless and helpless until the very end. i can't blame him. he's been through so much. he doesn't know how to share. he takes on all of the pain. he can only ask to be punished, because aid isn't a word in his vocabulary.

mikey pipes up, "you've been waiting for me here?" it doesn't surprise him at all. i know him like the back of my hand. this is how he takes responsibility for the last decade of misfortunes. he'll end it all.

"i couldn't bare to watch you keep making these mistakes," i reply truthfully. ive seen this before. i glance up at him and he glances down at the street. don't look down, manjiro. you won't survive this trip to hell.

it sounds like he wants to laugh. he doesn't. instead he brings back a conversation we had when we were fourteen. "that's why you're better than me." hardly. he says that stupid nickname clinging to me like a curse.

"after you." i motion towards his kingdom, to the path covered in blood and snow.

mikey looks at me briefly, quiet. then he cranes his neck up at the sky. "you won't stop me?" i see the tattoo on his nape. he put it there so he wouldn't have to look at it. it burns on his skin as it burns on my shoulder blade.

"i can't." i don't have the rights to stop him. i didn't do it in other timelines, im not going to start now. this is the only way for us to be free. it's tragic how unfortunate we are. maybe we deserve it.

how does one normally respond to a friend committing suicide? how does one respond to a friend letting them commit suicide? it's not what mikey does when he hums. "i'll see you later." he disappears into his own mind. whose face is he seeing? shins? emmas? i would hope. "everyone, let's do this!" there's a grin on his face. ive missed it. he hops off the roof and away from me.

"ill see you later."

i hear haru screaming all the way from the street. he's distressed. he's been with manjiro just as long as i have. mikey trapped him the same way he trapped me, but somehow worse. i know im not free as long as i stay next to mikey. i stay out of love and selfishness. haru stays out of fear and obsession. i know im not free, but im still my own person.

and i don't fool myself.

mikeys falling to his death, peaceful. an arm shoots out from the building and latches onto him. i smile bitterly, a sigh tumbling from my lips. "sucks that death is a bit of a bitch for both of us." i want to jump, too. i stick to my perch and swallow my pride, because im my own person, but im not. i can't die before mikey, i can't leave him alone.

i see the tears pouring out of his eyes. he begs for help, finally, for the first time in his life. it's enough to make me cry, too. he's being weak for the whole world to watch him burn himself to oblivion. takemichi scolds him. he struggles to hold on when the cross he's bearing weighs him down. twelve years of pain make him slip from his saviors grasp. there's nothing i can do.

blond hair and passive, ken's tattoo, black hair and chaos, izana's earrings. reality is broken for me, pieces of different timelines scattered on the floor. i have all these memories that aren't mine. mikey lies dead before me in a billion angles no one else can see. i don't understand why im seeing this now. i know ive seen it before. it's been two years since i last had to suffer through this. time is shattered and it hurts.

i hear that nickname ring in my ears. when i blink, mikey's corpses are gone. there's a weight in my hand and it's not from a gun. im gripping an unconscious boy by the collar. my knuckles sting. the skin of my hands is split open, bleeding. i remember now. we were wiping out a rival gang that challenged us. i turn towards mikey, trying to blink him into focus. "sorry, what'd you say?"

he stares back at me with hollow eyes. there's a tiny furrow in his brow that others wouldn't be able to pinpoint. "let's go," he repeats, nodding his head for me to follow him. i see haru and koko waiting for us behind him. they both look away when i catch their gazes.

"oh, yeah." i clear my throat. the kid im holding slips from my fingers and crumbles on the floor. his head bounces when it hits the ground. next to the blood splattered on the dirt, a tear drops. i realize it's mine instantly. im crying. i wipe at my eyes with my sleeve to pretend nobody saw me. i don't think i can explain what's made me cry like this in the middle of a fight. there's a discomfort in my throat, and remnants of a headache pulse in my temples, and the roof of my mouth itches. im still crying. the tears fall, but i feel nothing. this anguish isn't mine to feel.

i cough into my fist as i walk to stand next to mikey so we can head back. there's an open gash on his leg that he's ignoring. what's a little wound to the invincible mikey, after all? i know nobody is invincible, let alone manjiro, because i know people die, because ive killed him with my own two hands. ill take care of it for him later; mikey is my responsibility. he waits for me to join him. my shoulder brushes against his. he glares at my tears so intensely. "are you okay?" he asks quietly, like he doesn't want the two boys ahead of us to hear.

i turn my head to find his eyes. it's like he's trying to bring all my deceit to light, like im not allowed to hold secrets. i see those black holes that swallow up his own deceit. all i see, rather than the mikey right in front of me, is his corpses in variety, because i killed him, because i let him die, because that's what he wanted and that's the only way he could be free. so i clear my throat again, "yeah, just got dizzy." he knows it's a lie, instantly. my voice doesn't waver when i lie, but it gets small. he knows.

he lets silence hang for a moment. "did you eat today?"

i shake my head. "i was waiting for you." my attention flutters back to the two boys a few paces ahead. they're awfully quiet.

so is mikey. i feel him still staring at me. "okay." and he looks away, too.

#it's so cold #tokyo revengers #tokrev #sano manjiro #manjiro sano #sano manjiro x reader #manjiro sano x reader #mikey x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev x reader

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