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tiny-smallest · 3 years

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day one - pride

Rating: G Characters: Henry and Bendy Warnings: none Description: Henry reflects on the definition of labels and belonging in certain spaces.

Also on AO3!

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WHO'S READY FOR THE INK DEMONTH 2021 I SURE ONCE AGAIN TOTALLY WAS YEP DEFINITELY NO LAST MINUTE ANYTHING HERE LET'S GO

Doing writing prompts again because this year has been A Lifetime and I just don't possess the ability to draw this time so let's go let's get stupid get weird enjoy the misadventures of a specific au of of Bendy and the Ink Machine where the toons are their own people in a world they still don't entirely understand and the people who love them who try to help them navigate it.

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Henry was used to a surprising amount of things to interrupt his day first thing in the morning. Easily numbered in the hundreds. His children were toons; there was no end to the amount of crazy nonsense that they could get into when he was asleep, and that was disregarding the fact that Bendy usually slept until noon.

Sure, he was the Troublemaker In Chief. That did not mean the other two were paragons of holiness, no matter how much Alice tried glowing her halo at him while she and her brother gave him the saddest, biggest, shiniest puppy eyes. And that didn't even take into account how much trouble they could find, no mischief intended.

He'd seen smoldering breakfasts, pancakes on the ceiling, saran wrap around the kitchen archway, demonic rubber chicken noises from a saxophone that had a part replaced with the noisemaker from the novelty prank toy...

(He still didn't regret letting Boris chase Bendy for that one without intervening.)

With all that, being immediately accosted by three toons hanging off his legs the second he came down the stairs and all trying to talk to him at the same time did not magically get any easier to withstand.

"Whatever it is, it's a no until I get my coffee," he drawled as he attempted to walk with them hanging off him, the three of them dragged along with him. It was with quite some difficulty that he got to the kitchen counter.

"But Henry!" Bendy whined, "we only got a few hours to get ready if ya say yes! We need every second!"

"For what?" he yawned, pouring a cup from the machine.

"You don't know what day it is?" Alice was surprised enough to actually let go, and she dusted herself off like the lady she was before standing up.

Instantly something cold grabbed Henry's heart and squeezed. "Uh- no I...?"

Had he forgotten someone's birthday? No, it was summertime; Bendy was a winter 'birth' and Boris and Alice were spring and fall. An anniversary of some kind? Quick think what are you forgetting you useless-

"How!?" Bendy gaped at him from down below. "It's been all over the news fer weeks!"

Well okay now he was just thoroughly confused. "I um-"

"The parade, Henry!" Boris's tail was thumping gently against the floor; he was not trying one tiny ounce to hide his eagerness. "The parade that's today!"

"Parade-?" It took just one more nanosecond of thought before it clicked.

"Oh you mean the-!" And they wanted to go to it.

Well, he shouldn't be surprised. This would be the first parade they'd get to see, wouldn't it? And it was nice weather out. And it would be bursting with color, which the toons were darn near obsessed with.

He took a contemplative sip. They weren't human; god even knew if they had any sort of sexuality at all. Could they even feel that stuff? The urge to- do anything like that? Wouldn't that technically make them asexual? That was the word, right?

Well, human or not, that would solidly mean they belonged there. Queer was queer, regardless of species, right? Hell, even if they'd just started asking themselves those questions, or wanted to support the fans of theirs who fell under that giant umbrella, they were valid for being there.

"Sure, I can take you."

Both boys cheered, lifting their arms to do so and releasing his legs. He quickly took a step away from them, but their joy had them leaping to their feet anyway and he watched as they bounced around the kitchen, slowly draining his coffee and trying to curb his smile when he was actively drinking.

It was a hard task.

Their excited chatter melted pleasantly into the background as he took the time to drink and try to shake his brain awake the rest of the way awake like shaking out an old blanket to coax out the wrinkles. Their enthusiasm always made for the perfect background noise.

"What colors do you want?"

"I dunno! There's so many! I don' even know what label I fit in-"

"I saw you checkin' out that guy the other day don't think I didn't!" The wink and nudge from Bendy sent Boris blushing so hard the poor wolf's face turned nearly as black as his fur.

"I was hopin' you hadn't-"

They were all quick to consume breakfast, and Henry retreated upstairs after telling the toons to come get him when they wanted to leave.

He settled comfortably in the limitless, timeless space of art before reality came knocking with Bendy's distinctive tapping at the door, pulling Henry from the space inbetween something and nothing as he set his pen aside. "Come in, kiddo."

When Bendy stepped in with what was unmistakably a rainbow flag on his cheek and extra face paint he knew he was in for a time.

"Oh uh- what's that for-"

"For you!" Bendy said with a giant grin. "Who'd ya think?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah well- I uh-"

Bendy didn't slow down. "Anyway the others are about ready to go but they sent me up here to get your flag on while they finish up- now why they trusted me with the paint I got about as much an idea as you but hey I'm not gonna complain-"

"Aw that's- that's sweet kiddo but I sorta figured I'd just be-" How to say this. "Dropping you off...?"

Immediate confusion. "What? Why?"

"Uh well- I mean-" He fiddled with the pen- when had that ended up back in his hands? "You guys- you have a space there, you know? I'm not sure if I-"

There was now a puckered frown on the little devil's face. "Not sure if you what?"

"Well I mean- I don't exactly- belong, now do I?"

The frown multiplied its intensity by about five. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Aw jeez. He really did not want to discuss this with his kid, as much of an adult as Bendy was. For many reasons. "Uh well- you know-" He gestured, as if hoping that would somehow pluck the answer from the air and implant it in Bendy's brain without having to give voice to it, setting the pen down in the process so he’d stop playing with it. "I'm not exactly- I mean-"

"You like guys." Bendy's voice was so sure that Henry knew making any sort of denial was futile. And also kind of stupid. Why would he deny that to his own son? No of course he wouldn't.

"Well I mean- I married a woman, didn't I?" he finally blurted out.

Unimpressed blinking as he drew closer to stand beside the desk. "Yeah they got a word for that. Several actually. Most popular ones are bi and pan, so which colors is it gonna be?"

"No no I mean-" God he was probably blushing. His face definitely felt way too hot. "I uh- I mean I- I like guys, yes-" great brain thanks a ton totally needed that heart rate spiking why are you acting like that's scary this is our kid- "but I- I married a woman- I like women- more often?"

The blinking was now confused.

"Uh-" How to phrase this. "If- if we split it into a pie chart- it's probably like... thirty-seventy in favor of women?" He ran his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck again. "I'm- not that I'm any great catch but like, if I was in any way qualified to be in the dating pool again, I'd be way more likely to end up with a lady."

The unimpressed look was back. "And?"

It was Henry's look to be surprised. "And- and that means that, you know- I'm not really-"

"You like guys."

"I- yeah?"

"And you're a guy."

"Kind of a given at this point."

"So you're a guy, and you like guys, and just also happen to like girls too. We got names for that." He gave Henry's shirt an appraising look. "Gotta say the bi colors would complement your clothes best. If you want pan colors I'm gonna have to ask you to change. As your official fashion consultant."

Henry snorted. "My what?"

"Listen Dad I love you but I ain't about to let you walk into that parade wearing like, a pineapple hawaiian shirt or nothin'."

Henry banged a fist lightly on the table and pointed at him. "Liar! You wore the exact same thing just the other day!"

"Yeah but that was to the beach, not a parade."

"Literally when have you ever cared about not being a fashion disaster."

"This time, when Alice'll actually kill me otherwise."

"... Okay you got me there."

Bendy grinned. "So, bi colors or pan colors! Or somethin' else? I think there's other ones too."

He opened his mouth, closed it again and then opened it. What the hell. "... Bi colors, I guess."

"Yesssssss I was hopin' you'd say that." He hopped over onto the table like he'd suddenly become a bunny.

"Oh you were, huh?"

"Listen, the pan folks got pretty colors, but I'm always a sucker for a sunset," he said as he pulled out the pallet he needed. Henry sighed and shook his head, the smile ruining his effort to look exasperated.

"Well. Sunset me then, I guess."

"You got it boss!" Bendy said in maybe the worst mafia minion accent known to mankind.

It was barely five minutes of Bendy painting lines carefully on his cheek before he whipped out a mirror.

"Tah-dah!"

Henry blinked at himself in the mirror. He tilted his head, something shifting inside his heart that he had no name for, no way to voice.

The once proud look on Bendy's face was swiftly dropping. "... I didn't mess it up, did I...?"

"No- no, no." Henry tilted his head. "I uh..."

Bendy's worried browlines screamed anxiety to him.

"... I guess I just look good in a sunset," he said quietly, seeing the little corner of his reflection's mouth turn up as if in some sort of hazy dream.

Better than I thought.

#bendy and the ink machine #the ink demonth #batim bendy #batim henry #batim boris #batim alice angel #henry stein #batim henry stein #strike up the band au #my writing

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 4 years

Text

Imagine

Soft boi Erik

It’s Y/N and Erik’s honeymoon. They have the perfect get away in the Virgin Islands. During sex Erik is staring at Y/N and he’s so overwhelmed with how beautiful she is/her body is and he arrives to the station “early” lol.

Warnings: Teasing, FLUFF, SMUT, pre-mature cum, SoftBoi

A week away in the Virgin Island for the newly weds. Y/N was a Stevens now. They climbed out of Erik’s Private jet, a welcoming party already there waiting for them both. Their personal driver, Ramone, grabbed their bags to put away. Erik held the door opened for his wife, helping her inside before he settles in next to her.

“Newly Weds?!” Their personal driver asks, “How long you two staying here?”

“Two weeks!” Y/N squeezed Erik’s hand, “Two weeks in paradise. I’m so excited. Aren’t you excited, babe?”

“Two weeks with you is paradise enough for me,” Erik couldn’t keep his lips under control as they trailed down his wife’s neck, “My Wifey. Damn, you’re officially all mine.”

Y/N giggles, Erik’s plush lips tickling her neck. He was on top of her now in the back seat, trailing his loving and desperate kisses down the middle of her chest before they landed on her belly button. Y/N squirms, her knees coming up to hide her stomach away from his feather-like kisses.

“Baybeee,” Y/N whimpered with a small laugh.

“I can’t help myself. Your so damn addictive,” Erik takes his hand to run up her tropical wrap skirt, “Can Hubby take a peak?”

“Oh, Babyeee,” Y/N whispers, “We aren’t alone-“

“I need you. Two weeks of paradise includes two weeks of fucking. I’m fucking you, Wifey, every damn night.”

“Oh, goodness,” Her skin blushed, “Will I ever get a chance to sight see?”

“We can, and we can fuck on the beach. Pull you in the back of a shop and fuck you against a wall. Go to a reggae club with VIP and fuck you right there. Fuck you everywhere, Baby.”

Erik’s lips passionately clashed with Y/N’s in the back seat. Tongues twirling, lips smacking, sighs of pleasure. Erik pulls away, stroking Y/N’s cheek with his thumb, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Y/N replies before leaning forward to peck Erik’s lips.

“Show me that ring,” Erik smiles. Y/N giggles, rolling her eyes playfully before showing off her ring. It was a Pear-cut Champagne Brown Diamond Engagement Ring. It has white accent Diamonds. 18k white gold ring sporting a diamond halo around the main stone. That didn’t include the diamond wedding band she also has. Erik grabs her hand, admiring the extravagant jewelry before placing a kiss over it.

“Seeing this, has my dick hard as fuck right about now,” Erik drags that same hand down so she could feel exactly how hard he is. How rigid his dick is in his shorts. Y/N bites her lip, looking up at Erik slowly before sticking her tongue out to lick across his lips. Erik’s body shivered. He captured her tongue between his lips, sucking it, before covering her mouth with his lips. Y/N moaned into his mouth.

“We are here, lovely couple!”

A beautiful vacation villa in St. Croix, U.S Virgin Islands. It was up on a hill, surrounded by the tropics with a trail to the beach and a private pool with a jacuzzi. It was wide open with a patio that wrapped around the villa; large floor to ceiling windows and the perfect furniture fit for an island getaway. Y/N spotted so many places she would love to lounge at while she was here. The hammock on the front porch was big enough for two. Then there was a large cream colored pit sofa with tropical pillows.

“WOW.” Erik pulled his RayBands on top of his dreads, “Remind me to buy our own Villa so we can escape and come here whenever we want to.”

“I promise I will,” Y/N began walking in her Birkenstock’s up the stairs behind Ramone. He carefully carried the luxury suitcases. Erik carried the shoulder bags. Finally up the stairs, Y/N pulls out her cell to take a picture of the outside of the villa.

“I don’t think I want to go home, babe,” Y/N turned around to look at Erik, “fuck work and responsibility. Let’s live here.”

“I don’t think your mom would be happy with me if I kept you here,” Erik kissed Y/N’s forehead before following Ramone into the Villa. Y/N took a few pictures before joining them both inside. The Aloe Vera plant garden made Y/N smile. She planned on using it for her hair and skin. She was happy her and Erik were alone. She could walk around naked all day every day.

“The fridge is fully stocked but there is a produce market down the back trail. All the fruits, vegetables, oils, butters, and cigars you need. Much much more too.”

“Thanks Ramone,” Erik pulls out his wallet, tipping the elder man generously, “If we need you again, we can just call you?”

“Absolutely! Thank you! Thank you!” Ramone accepted their cash, saying his final goodbyes before leaving Y/N and Erik alone.

“EEEK!” Y/N ran up to Erik, jumping into his arms and straddling his waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck while Erik spins her around. Y/N leans back, kissing Erik while grasping his face.

“Let’s look around,” Y/N spoke against Erik’s lips. She hops down, grabbing his arm to drag him along. They looked at the living room, kitchen, and dining room area. Up the steps they went, Erik slapping Y/N’s ass while she tried to run away from him. He chased her a little before wrapping his arms around her waist, keeping her close to him while they checked out all the rooms. The bathroom was their personal favorite. Erik promised daily bubble baths and sex in the shower. Finally, they both made it to the master bedroom. It also has a wrap around patio.

“Perfect, I am in awe of this place,” Y/N was carried bridal style towards the bed, “You really outdid yourself, handsome,” Y/N bats her long lashes at him.

“Hmm,” Erik gently places his wife onto the bed, crawling towards her like a wild cat. She bites her fleshy bottom lip, curling a single finger for him to come closer.

“Why not start off fucking now, huh?” Y/N takes off her white tee that she wore wrapped in the front to expose her stomach. Nothing but beautiful round breasts awaited Erik’s drooling mouth. Now, Y/N was removing her tropical wrap skirt. Once that was gone, the only barrier left was her burnt orange thong. Erik went flat on his belly, crawling towards her on his elbows. Y/N opened her legs wider, a single finger in her mouth to seduce him. Erik’s lips kissed up her feet, calves, inner thighs, then over her warm mound. Erik uses his teeth to pull her thong down slowly, his primal eyes watching the way her pink tongue licked around her lips. The thong was down past her feet now, Erik releasing it from his mouth. His large hands pulled Y/N’s legs towards him before bringing them up and over her head. She was wide open for him. Y/N sat up on her elbows, a naughty smile on her face.

“Eat me?” Y/N pulls her pussy lips apart, “Eat my pussy, Hubby?”

“Fuck yes,” Erik licks her slit in one strike, “You taste just like pineapples down here.”

“Mm-uhhh,” Her eyes rolled shut, “Damn, that dangerous tongue.”

Erik gave her more tongue. Y/N’s head fell back against the pillows. His tongue made her inner folds puff up lick he wanted them to. Her hand reaches out to remove his shades from his head, tossing those on the other side of the bed before grabbing a fist full of his dreads to bring his lips to her pussy.

“Give me some of that mouth...good, Daddy,” Y/N’s body grinds into his mouth, “So...good.”

“Mhm,” Erik mumbles into her pussy, “Mhm.”

“Yes,” Y/N’s mouth fell open, “Yes, right fucking there.”

His lips sucking on her made Y/N’s toes curl and back arch from the bed. Her eyes connected with Erik’s, watching him pleasure her. Y/N’s hand came forward to stroke the dreads that fell in his eyes back. She held his hair back for him, her eyebrows knitted together with immense pleasure while she mumbled how good she felt. Biting her bottom lip hard, Y/N uses all the power in her hips to fuck Erik’s mouth. Her hips buckled into his mouth, toes pointed to the ceiling. Erik could feel her cream mixed with her juices drizzle down the side of his lip to his chin.

“Ahhhhhh, ahhhhhhh, mmmm, Umph, oooooh, ooooo, Mhm, Mhm, mmm-uhhhhh,”

She was a moaning mess. Her ass shook along with her thighs. Her breathing came out in a desperate rhythm now. She was wheezing almost. Erik didn’t stop. He kept on going and going. Y/N’s eyes rolled cross-eyed before her hand left his hair to grab both of her breasts, squeezing them and twirling her nipples. Erik looked up just in time to see her lick one of her nipples. His dick hurt from how hard it was. Boundless and vast dick so long, fat, and solidified that it throbbed against his thigh. Her sugary fluids coated his tongue yet again. She was spilling in his mouth. Looking up at her from between her legs, watching all the faces she made, Erik couldn’t control the urge to cum. He needed to be inside of her.

Erik’s lips popped off her labia and clit, his lips glossy and his chin hair soaked with her cream. He didn’t care to wipe his face as he stood from the bed, yanking off his shorts and tropical buttoned shirt. Fully nude and looking powerfully built, Erik got back on the bed in a hurry, pulling Y/N’s legs over his shoulders. Her breath rushed in and out, eyes low with lust as she watches her husband position himself without a word. He yearned for her. He longed to sink deeply. The sudden impulse aroused her further. He will be so happy to find that his wife is even more wet for him. Erik grabs the base of his dick, deep, shuddering breaths escaping his mouth before he pushes his thickness inside of her. Y/N fought for her breath, pushing back against the carved oak headboard. The minute he was inside of her, was the minute his body rocked. She could hear her slippery walls and his dick entering her tightness. She could hear their skin slapping. He was stretching her out to even wider depths.

“Daddy, you’re so big,” Y/N grabs his balls before stroking the base of his dick while he fucked her, “Mmm, God, Daddy, I am so stuffed!”

Erik fucked her harder when she said that. He couldn’t even form a word. All Y/N could make out was his irregular breathing and ragged sighs. He had his his eyes on her from time to time then he would look down at the way he fucked that good puss. That warm, heated puss. Her breasts bounced and swayed like two beautiful fleshy pillows. Her stomach would flex each time he went in deeper, her face...That beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous face. She blinked up at him with shock at how good he pounded her. Her mouth hung open while her lower lip pouted and dangled. He couldn’t control the urge to empty his balls and shoot off in her cunt deep.

“Fuck me, baby, fuck me just like that, get it baby, yes, Daddy, fuck it just like that. You getting that shit, Daddy, you know how to fuck me, you know how I deserve to be fucked. Ohhhh, God, Shit, baby. Big. Fucking. Dick. Gawd-“

“UGH, GIRL!”

Erik could feel his dick ripple and propel his cum into her pussy. Y/N tightened around him, pulling more cum from him. Erik lets out short, heated breaths before collapsing on top of Y/N. His face was hidden in the crook of her neck. Y/N reached up to stroke the back of his head.

“Baby?” She called his name in that voice that he loved, “Baby, look at me.”

Erik couldn’t do it. He was embarrassed and pissed. He never came pre-maturely, ever.

“It’s okay,” Y/N whispers soothingly into his ear, “I understand. It felt so good for you, it’s okay, you just felt so good, that’s all.”

He could cum again from those words.

“I want you to look at me.”

Erik lets in a shivering inhale before lifting onto his elbows to look down at her. His jaw was tightly clenched but his whiskey eyes blinked down at her. The tips of his ears were red and Y/N knew that was a sign of embarrassment for him. She kissed his lips, her eyes open as she kissed him. Erik looked from her eyes down to their joined lips before falling into the kiss. They French kissed for a little before Y/N broke the kiss, taking her thumb to wipe away spit from his chin.

“Don’t ever feel embarrassed about that. This is your pussy, you enjoy your pussy, okay?”

“Yes,” Erik gave her a weak smile, “I couldn’t control it-“

“Shhh,” Y/N pushed Erik down onto the bed, straddling him, “don’t talk, just feel.”

She began to grind her hips while his dick was still compressed by her walls. Like her pussy was made of angel dust, Erik’s dick came to life once more. The way she pulled on him had him grunting and running his hands all over her body. Y/N pressed her hands in the middle of his chest, moving her hips over him at a slow pace.

“You feel my pussy grabbing you nice and tight, Daddy?”

“Hmph, yes,” Erik bites his lip.

“Can I show Daddy how I fuck this dick?”

“Mmm, yes, girl.”

Y/N rode his dick. She used his pipe to her advantage. Erik’s ass cheeks clenched and his balls jumped. He was experiencing so much pleasure that it was all too much at once. Y/N took his dick and used it. Now, she was fucking him reverse. Her ass bounced and popped. He could see her fat pussy lips and tight hole wrapped around him snuggly. The skin of her wet hole was squeezing him. Erik reaches out to whack her ass. He held her cheeks apart while Y/N did her thing. He couldn’t believe it, he was going to cum again.

“FUCK,” Erik looked at her ass angrily, “LOOK WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO MAKE ME DO!”

Erik sucked in lungfuls of air as spasms of delight rocketed through him.

“UMPH! DADDY!” Y/N was squirting on him. Squirting and creaming. She didn’t stop her rhythm. The bed jumped beneath them like a trampoline.

“Ugghhhhhh, SHIT IS RIDICULOUS, Fuckkkk!”

Erik came again right after Y/N. He grabs her ass to pull her pussy off of his sensitive dick. More cum spilled from Erik and stained Y/N’s dripping wet cunt.

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POP! SIZZLE!

Erik drank from the champagne bottle while some of the fuzz spilled down his neck and onto his naked chest. Y/N was right by his side in a pair of black panties, titties out as they sun bathed. Erik tips the bottle over her breasts, coating them with champagne. Y/N rubs it into her caramel skin. She looked up at Erik through her shades and straw hat, smiling at her man.

“Welcome to the good life!!!” Erik sings T-Pains song.

“Welcome to the good LI-I-I-IFE!” Y/N sings.

“Now throw your hands up in the sky!!!!”

“Aye-“

“AYE-“

“Aye-“

“AYE-“

“IM GOOD!” They finished together.

“I miss that Kanye,” Y/N says while applying sunscreen to her thighs.

“Me too,” Erik picked up his cigar, “We’re living the good life though.”

“For sure.” Y/N smiles with contempt.

“Look.”

Y/N lifts up on her elbows to look over at Erik. He had an obvious tent in his trunks. Y/N laughs, falling back against her beach chair before grabbing her Rum Punch.

“Your dick is always hard, baby,” Y/N giggles.

“Always hard for you,” Erik grabs one of her titties while rolling her nipple, “Come suck on Daddy.”

“So you can cum again in two minutes? I’d be glad to.”

Y/N got up from her seat, kneeling in front of Erik on the sand. She removed her straw hat, pulling Erik’s trunks down to his thighs.

“Ha-Ha. So you got jokes now?” Erik smiles.

“Just teasing. I can’t help the fact that I have amazing pussy.”

“That puss is more than amazing. That thang is magical.”

“Aww, babyeee,” Y/N grabs Erik’s fat dick, “Thank you. Thank you so much,” She wraps her lips around him and went to town.

“DAMN,” Erik’s head went back.

“Mhm,” Y/N mumbled with her lips wrapped around him.

“Shit,” Erik grips the back of her head, “You’re a nasty thing, aren’t you?”

“Mhm,” Y/N looked him square in the eyes while sucking his dick, “mmmm.”

“You love me. I can tell by the way you suck me.”

Y/N gurgled around him.

“Look at that rock on your finger wrapped around my stick,” Erik bites his lip, “My wife is the best freaky love.”

Erik whispered Oh God, and Don’t stop. Y/N went fast and hard. He was so huge and firm in her mouth. Her jaws had to hurt at this point. He rested back on his elbows, russet skin draped in sweat under the scorching sun. Erik’s fingers dragged over his chiseled abs. Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He couldn’t believe this shit. His dick was ready to bust again.

“What the fuck?” He asked weakly, “what. The. Fuck.”

Erik’s hips lifted from the beach chair while his nut empites into Y/N’s mouth. She couldn’t see his eyes behind his shades but she could see the frustrated crease in his brows and the slight mug on his nose and lips. His body went slack against the beach chair while Y/N stood up, licking her lips clean and wiping cum from her bottom lip.

“Are you doing this shit on purpose?” Erik asks between deep breaths.

“No, Daddy,” Y/N drinks some of her Rum Punch, “You just don’t have control,” Y/N smiles wickedly, “Let me know when you need me again, babe.”

Erik pulled up his trunks over his flaccid penis, “Uh-huh, yeah, okay.” He was irritated. Erik has something for Y/N.”

—————————-

The rest of the evening was spent preparing dinner, unpacking, and sleeping. Erik wanted to hang more but his body wasn’t having that. They both woke the next day around 12 PM. Brunch was prepared by Erik on the patio. They ate in complete nudity while talking about what activities they could do. Snorkeling, jet skiing, ride ATV’s, go on a tour to see the tropical animals, enjoy the nightlife, go shopping, all of those things were their plan.

After the big breakfast, Y/N decided to take a bubble bath while Erik went for a run before working out in the gym at their Villa. This gave Y/N time to read a book while sipping on her Sangria. She still felt like she was living in a fairytale. The rings on her finger, the man who married her, the Villa and the beautiful island. All of it seemed like a dream to her. When Erik returned, he took a shower and sat in the hammock with Y/N while she retwists his new growth with beeswax and mango butter. She braided it back afterward. They both took a nap on the hammock, waking up a few hours later. That night Y/N and Erik decided to go out for drinks. The place they found played amazing dancehall music that had them both dancing. The club reminded Y/N of a scene from Dirty Dancing. Sweaty bodies connected and grinding on eachother. Her and Erik were dripping with sweat. They weren’t even drunk because they both sweat out the alcohol.

“THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!” Y/N yells at Erik as they danced, “LOOK AT YOU MOVE, BABY!”

“Nah, look at you,” Erik twirled Y/N, “Best fucking dancer I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh, yeah?” Y/N gyrated her hips on Erik, “I can move, baby?”

“Shit moving like jello, ma,” Erik slaps Y/N’s ass, “tig ol’ bitties bouncing around. You got these men wanting some. You mine though,” Erik licked Y/N’s neck.

“Mmm, Don’t start nothing you can’t finish.”

“What did you just say?” Erik whispers in her ear.

“Don’t start nothing you can’t finish.”

“Can’t finish, huh?” Erik brings a hand around Y/N’s neck, “come talk that shit in the car ride home and watch what I do to you.”

“Uh-huh,” Y/N says with a smile.

“You think I’m playing. Your pussy might be heavenly and all but I got that ass now. I’ll have you cumming in minutes. You know how Daddy does it, Wifey.”

Y/N turns, her sweaty face near Erik’s, while his hands cascades down her back to palm both her ass cheeks, “I guess I need a reminder then. I seem to have forgotten,” Y/N licks Erik’s top lip with a flick of her tongue, “we got a lot of time.”

“With that ring on your finger we got all the time in the world, right?”

“Damn right,” Y/N puts her hand out in front of her, “look at it glow.”

After dancing a few more times and settling at the bar for another hour to make up for all the drinks they sweated out, Erik calls for an Uber back to the Villa. They were both wasted and would rather be wasted in their vacation villa instead of in public since they weren’t familiar with the area. In the Uber home, there was slight traffic. It frustrated the hell out of Erik because his dick was damn near crying for pleasure. Y/N just removed her shoes and threw her legs over Erik’s, looking around her in silence or staring at him with her beautiful eyes. Erik ran his fingers up and down her exposed leg. His actions looked like they were putting Y/N to sleep.

“How much further?” Erik asks the Uber driver.

“Just up this hill and we are there my man.”

Sure enough, they both made it back. Erik stirred Y/N awake while grabbing her shoes. He got out and came around to her side opening her door and picking her up to carry her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. Erik thanked the Uber driver before taking the stairs to the villa. He dropped her heels off on the patio and walked inside. Erik laid her body out on the pit sofa, dimming the lights in the Villa with just a clap of his hands. She was knocked out cold. Erik stood above her, removing his clothes. Each piece fell on the floor in a wrinkled pile. Fully naked, Erik got down on his knees in the middle of the pit sofa, gently removing Y/N’s dress. She stirred a little but she didn’t wake up. Her nude body looked magnificent in the middle of that large sofa. They could sleep here tonight. Erik places his wife onto her back, spread her legs nice and slow, before lowering his head between her legs again. Eating her pussy was his favorite thing to do.

As soon as his lips found her wet and sticky mound, Y/N’s hips jerked, eyes closed but a crease formed in her brow. Erik brought her legs back swiftly before pulling her pussy lips apart, using his tongue to wiggle inside of her. Y/N’s eyes opened, her sleep ridden body jolting from the sudden intrusion. She looked so confused but at the same time she felt so much pleasure. Her shaky moans and bewildered eyes drove Erik insane. She looked so shocked with each gasp that escaped her mouth.

“Baybee?” She questioned, “Daddy?”

Erik didn’t respond.

“Mmmm,” She moaned.

Her pussy tasted even sweeter than the previous day. She was really really wet down there for him. So wet that she stained the pit sofa. Erik leaned back to admire her pussy. Labia and clit all puffy and wet, her honey pot oozing with its sweet treat. He leans back in, taking his time to suck on her. That’s when she fully sat up on her elbows. Her hand reached out to hold his head but her limbs were so weak her hand shook on the back of his head.

“Umph, Daddy, daddy you’re making me cum. Keep going, don’t stop,” her hips bucked in his mouth, “Umph, fuck, Yesssss.”

With one big inhale, Y/N came in Erik’s mouth. Once again, his chin and lips were covered in her release.

“Daddy about to give you this monster,” Erik strokes his rigid and meaty pipe, “Assume the fucking position.”

Y/N didn’t take her instructions lightly. She pointed her ass in the air, face pressed into the soft suede of the pit sofa. Erik spanked her hard a few times before thrusting forward into her pussy with just his hips. Y/N’s body fell forward slightly from how much force Erik put into that stroke. She tried reaching behind her to push at his chest but Erik didn’t want that.

“Mm-mm, arms reaching out in front of you, DONT touch me.”

Y/N reaches out in front of her. Erik admires her body in that positon and it made him caress her sore ass cheeks.

“You are stunning, baby girl. Just beautiful,” Erik strokes her slowly, “So lovely laid out in front of me like this. This is mines for the taking.”

“Yes, Daddy,” Y/N hisses, “Daddy, why are you so deep in my pussy like that? I can feel you in my soul, baby.”

“Should I go faster and make you feel it some more?”

“Please,” She quietly begged.

“Please what, Wifey?”

“Please, Da-“ Y/N couldn’t even finish her sentence when Erik started picking up the pace to beat her walls up. She felt her pussy spasm around him and convulse.

“Oh, shit, I’m cumming,” Y/N spoke into the couch cushion, “Daddy, keep beating it right there I’m cumming! YES!”

Y/N came on his dick, “YES! YES!” She whimpers.

“Keep cumming on me. Cum as much as you like,” Erik spoke with a whisper. He reached beneath her to rub her clit in circles. Y/N started fucking him back when she felt him do that. The noise of her ass ricocheting off of him echoed across the living room.

“Oh? That’s what that pussy kat doing? She leaking on me again?” Erik was surrounded by nothing but wetness that poured and poured from her.

“Damn, baby,” Y/N was frozen with shock.

“Should I keep hitting that thang?”

“I can take it,” Y/N started fucking Erik’s dick herself, “So big and fat in my little pussy.”

“Shit, yes the fuck I am,” Erik spreads her cheeks to see for himself, “I’m in that puss.”

“If you keep stroking my G-spot like that,” Y/N clawed the couch, “Umph, Erik, ima squirt-“

Y/N felt it pouring before she could even finish her words. A weak sigh spilled from her mouth. Now that he made her cum three times, it was his turn to bang her pussy until he bust a nut. Erik strokes faster and harder. Y/N reaches under her to grab his sack, massaging it with her fingers while he hammered her walls. She could do nothing but moan. Erik could do nothing but moan. Both of them enjoyed the feeling and made sounds of pleasure. Erik mumbled some words that Y/N was too weak to understand. All she felt was Erik’s dick swelling to cum inspiring proportions. Her pussy stretched even more, her walls unable to take more of his fat dick Erik always got fatter and thicker when he was about to cum. You had to be a big girl to take the dick he delivered. Y/N was still learning.

“Baby, I feel that fat dick pumping inside of me.”

“Goddamn, girl!!” Erik erupted inside of her, “FUCK FUCK FUCK.”

“Give me all of it, Daddy.”

“Shit, girl,” Erik felt her popping her pussy on his dick.

“Is there more for me? I want some more. My pussy is greedy for Daddy’s good cum-“

“THATS HOW IT IS?” Erik slams into her, “that’s how it is, ma?” Erik fucked her like his dick wasn’t sensitive, “Stay still while I fuck you since this is what you want,” He grabs her wrists, “Stay still.”

“OH, My God,” Erik didn’t hold back. He punished her pussy.

“That’s right, Hubby! That’s how you fuck your wife! That’s how you fuck me!”

“Your Lil’ ass got me cumming again,” Erik spanked her ass, “this is what you do to me.”

Erik grunts deep, more of him exploding from the tip of his dick. He slowly takes his dick out. Y/N flips over to get on her knees, sucking the rest of him off. Erik watched with a pout of lips, eyes closing. She laid back, spreading her legs to show him all of his cum dripping from her pussy. He watched her push it out, the thick nut oozing down the crack of her ass.

This was going to be a beautiful two weeks.

#killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #killmonger fanfiction #nahimjustfeelingit-writes #erik killmonger #black panther killmonger #killmonger smut

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p-artsypants · 5 years

Text

Longest Night (15) Tripping

And Marinette had thought Highschool had been hard. Right now, in this moment, she’d give anything to go back to those petty arguments and gossip fueled drama.

But she couldn’t. Instead, she and Adrien were trapped here, being punished, humiliated, tortured, for being heroes, all broadcasted for the world to see. At least she and her kitty were in this together. For now. Whump!Fic

Ao3 | FF.net

We’re on chapter 15 already? Crazy!

Warning: This chapter has themes of horror, as Marinette and Adrien hallucinate disturbing imagery.

—

Her nap was cut short with the loud pounding on the metal of the cage. It echoed and rattled, startling her suddenly.

“Dinner time!” Salo sang with delight.

Dinner?

Food!

Yes! She was so so hungry! It probably wasn’t going to be good food, in any capacity, but food!

The slots in the door opened, and a plate was set on the edge. There was a little plastic cup of water too.

“Thank you.” Marinette said genuinely, taking the plate.

The meal was not identifiable. It looked like a slice of meatloaf, but it had a strange smell to it. Something that smelled familiar and but unrecognizable. She bit into it, finding it hard and bland in flavor. But it was food, and hunger was the best spice.

“What is this?” She asked outside.

“Food loaf.” A voice, not Salo, said.

“What’s…what’s in it?” She asked.

“We had a nice dinner last night. What ever was left over, we ground up, and baked it into a loaf. It was all good at the time.”

She looked at the rubbery slab, taking another bite out of it. “Would you tell me what you had for dinner?” She begged.

The voice laughed. “Oh let’s see…fresh salmon, with some broccoli, and mashed potatoes. There was some avocado toast, and this strawberry gelatin dessert. Oh, and the Miss made some coleslaw that had celery, mayonnaise, grapes, and pineapple chunks in it.”

“And…all of that is in here?”

“A little bit of all of it, yeah.”

She shouldn’t have asked. “Thank you…”

The slot closed again, and she was left to her meal.

“You don’t realize how much texture goes into food,” Adrien stated, his mouth full.

“No kidding. I still can’t tell what’s in this. Though, I can definitely get a fishy aftertaste from the salmon.”

“It’s not any worse than that cat food, at least.”

They lapsed into silence again, eating their dinner.

“This is weird.” Marinette finally said.

“Yeah, not how I expected my week to go.”

“Adrien...”

“Sorry, Yeah...uh, my coping skills aren’t the best.”

“I...I figured.”

“You figured?”

“Er, yeah…I didn’t think you found our situation amusing.”

“No, absolutely not.” He paused, to chew and swallow. “What were you saying about this being weird?”

“Oh…I just…I was thinking, earlier, when we were chained up and waiting…I was looking at you, as you slept. And…I felt like I was looking at a stranger. You’re my best friend, and I care so so much about you, but…You’re not Adrien anymore, and you aren’t Chat. You’re just…different.”

“Oh…yeah, I see what you mean. I…I kinda feel the same. I’m so used to seeing Ladybug so fearless and sassy, and then Marinette shy and adorable…seeing Marinette being rebellious and…humiliated like this is…foreign.”

“Were you disappointed?” She whispered.

“What?”

“Were you disappointed? You said, a few days ago, that you were in love with Ladybug. Were you disappointed when you found out I was her?”

“No.” He said without hesitation. “Well…I was disappointed in myself. I promised that I would know you immediately, out of the mask. And so allowed myself to fall head over heels in love with you. In fact, there was a handful of people I would have been disappointed with if you had turned out to be them. But you were with them in person, so I didn’t worry.”

“Oh, like who?”

“My father for example.”

She barked a laugh. A real true laugh, her first in many days. “Your father, Gabriel Agreste, as Ladybug!? How the hell did you think that as an option!?”

“You don’t know! The miraculous could drastically alter someone’s appearance! If my father wanted to look like a 15 year old girl…then that’s on him, I guess.”

She giggled some more. “Boy, I hope Salo doesn’t have cameras in here right now.”

“In case she does…sorry father, that was a joke.”

Marinette calmed herself, before anyone could hear her and punish her for it.

“I looked for you.” He said softly. “I looked everywhere for you. But…you had been there, all this time. And I never noticed. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“What about you?” He asked. “You have, or had, a crush on me. But you always rejected Chat Noir.”

“I’m so happy that you’re my kitty.” She croaked, emotional. “I always thought that you were so kind and forgiving…it makes sense that you’re him.”

“I’m glad.” He hummed. “Back before all this, before the photo thing…I thought you hated me.”

“What?”

“Yeah! I mean, you were always so…uncomfortable around me. I thought maybe you were still holding a grudge a little from the whole gum incident.”

“What! I would never!”

“I know that now.” He snickered. “I just...I’m sheltered. I still haven’t picked up on all social cues.”

“Oh, I think you’re doing pretty okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Most of the time.”

He hummed. “Then I guess you’ll just have to stay with me to help me with the few I miss.”

“Adrien.”

“What?”

“What what?”

“Didn’t you just say my name?”

“No...?”

“Adrien.”

“You so did! Just now!”

“I said ‘most of the time’ and that’s it!”

“I could have sworn—“

“Adrien.”

“What?”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Well someone did! I just heard my name! I keep hearing someone calling for me!”

Marinette was quiet, then, “You…you didn’t just say my name, did you?”

“No…and I didn’t hear it either.”

“Adrien.”

“Ugh this is freaking me out! Is it a ghost?”

Marinette scoffed. “More than likely, it’s a tiny speaker that Salo hid in your cell. Mine too.”

“Adrien.”

Adrien felt his hands go clammy, and his face flushed. A tingling sensation started in his toes. “Oh…I don’t feel too good.”

Marinette didn’t answer.

“My lady?”

He was sitting on the floor, bare butt to the cement, and suddenly, it started to bow underneath him. “Oh whoa whoa!”

The ground was moving, it was falling, he was falling. His stomach was weak and nausea took place, but he had finally gotten food and he wasn’t about to loose it all. Instead, he clawed at the door, prying the metal off the hinges.

It came clean off, and he stumbled out. The rumbling of the cement cracking, breaking, crumbling into dust.

“Adrien.”

That wasn’t Marinette’s voice. That wasn’t his lady.

But it was coming from her cell.

So he started walking towards it, the ground under his feet turning to goo and melted at each step. Each step took longer than the last, and the cell was getting farther and farther away.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” He asked aloud, though his voice echoed on and on. His arm felt heavy, heavier than normal. He glanced over, seeing his arm turned into cement.

Oh yeah, that’s right. That happened.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” He asked again. “Didn’t I just say that?”

He had.

Finally, finally he reached the door, and pulled it open.

Inside was a corpse. Nearly blue in skin, and eyes open and unseeing.

“You’re not Marinette.” He told the body.

Its neck popped as its head moved slightly. “Oh, would you rather have her than me?”

It then occurred to Adrien that the corpse was someone he knew.

Who?

“Have we met before?”

“Have we met before?” Parroted the body.

“Yes of course!” Said Adrien, “I’m your son!”

The body snapped and popped back into a living, breathing person, Emilie Agreste standing in front of him like all was right in the world. “Hi Hunny Bunny.”

“You’re my mommy!” Adrien giggled, his hands over his mouth.

“That’s right!” she covered her face.

“Peeka boo!”

Adrien giggled.

“Peeka boo!”

He giggled again.

“P̴̨̮̹̪̮̮͎̻̩̩̀͊̓͌ę̵̛̯̱̻̠͓͙̻̦̠̈́͗͊̔̍̕ͅḛ̷̢̡̢̯̜̺̦͎͍̙̮̱͓̌̍͆̏̒̀͆̆̒̒̀̍͆k̵̡̢̺̤̲̜̥̺̮̈́͊̎̔́̽͒͆͂̾͐̂͌̐̚a̴̫͋̚͠ ̸̮̰̠͓͙̾̾̓͌̇͋͆̀͠ͅb̴̤̙̠̮͖̦̔ǫ̵̢̛̜͓̙̘̼̳̳̠̲̋̂̈́́́͋̄̊͊o̶͙̭̣͛̏̊́̋̚͜!̶̺̳̮̭͍̥͓̳͓͎͓̥͈͍̪̀̆̉̆̎̈̌̉̂͊̊̌̚͝͝”

Adrien screamed.

That was definitely not his mother. His mother was beautiful and sweet, and did not have snakes for teeth! Or mouths for eyes! Or—Or!!

He panicked and began to run. But he ran so fast that he ripped right out of his skin. His body frozen and staring in horror.

Thinking quickly, Adrien grabbed his wrist and pulled his body along with him. Occasionally, they would fuse back together, but then he would run too fast and they’d pull apart from each other, and separate.

“Come back hunny bunny! I just want your heart!” Emilie sang. “I just want to chew it up nice and tasty like!”

If Adrien ran fast enough, he could break through that wall, right? That sounded reasonable.

So he ran at top speed, ripping out of his clothes, his skin, his muscles, his bones, and collided head on with the wall, all of his layers congealing into one amalgamation of teenage boy.

“Oh, did that hurt?” Emilie asked, standing over him. Her features looked human enough, though she had a halo around her head of blue and then red and then green.

“I’m not dreaming am I?”

“You already said that.”

“I’m losing my mind.”

“Quite possibly.”

She lifted him off the ground, dusting off the leather of his suit, straightening his belt. “My my, how much you’ve grown.”

“Did I finally find you? After all this time?”

She smiled at him. “No, hunny bunny. I found you.” She weaved her fingers through her hair, turning it red on the way down. Then she tied her hair up in a bun and put a pair of reflective sunglasses on her face.

“No.” Adrien fell on his rear, the floor bowing very slowly beneath him, swallowing him up. “This is not happening. It can’t be. It can’t.”

“Oh, but it can be. And it is.” Salo’s too long fingers reached out, scratching his cheek. “What’s wrong hunny bunny? Thought mommy was too perfect for this? Never thought mommy would hurt you?”

The goo of the ground wrapped around his legs, pulling him into the abyss. The tendrils were sharp and burned against his skin, and once again he found his soul ripping from his body.

The walls spun and twisted, converging into one surface, and then many. He became the walls, the floor, the air, everything. He was everything and nothing.

He was…

Who was he again?

The world undulated and twisted, pulsing and throbbing in his ears, in his mind. All the pain that ever existed in the world crushed upon him, beating against his chest, clawing its way to his heart.

Was he screaming? Or was he singing? His mouth opened and noise came out. But his jaw was tense, and he gnashed his teeth.

He was floating.

He was sinking.

Everything was beautiful, but yet so so ugly.

This had to stop. This had to be a dream, or something. There was no way any of this could be real! But it felt more real than anything in his life. He felt real pain, searing, stinging, aching pain, and it was swallowing him whole. He tried to fight back against it, pressing his hands against the floor. His cat claws dug in, and he began to claw his way out of the darkness.

For a moment, everything settled, his heart beat was the only thing echoing still thundering.

It was a dark room, with only a flashlight laying on the floor. His cage was nearby, the door open, as well as the cage next to him. He was on the floor, in his robe, and above him was Marinette, poised with a crowbar raised above her head, ready to strike. She had tears rolling down her cheeks.

“My lady?” He asked softly.

The clanging of the metal against the ground was incredibly loud, and it echoed with voices of those who he had killed.

Obviously, he had to have killed people if he was in prison and Ladybug was fighting him.

“Chat? Is that you?” She asked.

“I…I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I feel like…I’m not me.”

“Me neither.”

The floor bowed once again, and the whole delusion started over again.

—

“What?” Adrien asked.

“What what?” Marinette asked back.

“Didn’t you just say my name?”

“No...?”

“You so did! Just now!”

“I said ‘most of the time’ and that’s it!”

“I could have sworn—...What?”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Well someone did! I just heard my name! I keep hearing someone calling for me!”

“Marinette.”

Marinette was quiet, then, “You…you didn’t just say my name, did you?”

“No…and I didn’t hear it either.” He moaned, “Ugh this is freaking me out! Is it a ghost?”

Marinette scoffed. “More than likely, it’s a tiny speaker that Salo hid in your cell. Mine too.”

“Marinette.”

“Look, let’s just ignore them, okay?”

Adrien didn’t respond.

“Kitty?” She asked softly.

There was silence. An awful, deafening silence.

Her heart pounded, and her fingers started to tingle. “Adrien, if you can hear me, please answer me!”

But he didn’t. He was long gone.

Marinette braced herself against the walls of her cage, the metal starting to push back against her, growing tighter, constricting. Like a snake, or the grip of a giant.

“Chat!!” She screamed. But it came out slow, like water overflowing.

The metal was now pressing on all sides of her, crushing her as if she was made of glass. She felt herself cracking, shattering, shards of her very being flaking off and falling into another world.

Because that’s where she was being forced, wasn’t it? Forced to another world, another dimension. Spirited away, and erased from all she knew, and all that knew her. Her parents would never know they had a daughter, her room a guest room, her possessions losing their attachment. There would never be a Ladybug, and Adrien would have never known her.

A mistake of the universe, being folded over and ironed out.

She was pinned flat, paper thin, all air being forced from her lungs. Frozen in a solitary form.

Then there was a door opening, a breeze catching hold of her paper thin form and rustling her.

There stood a figure in the way, formless, and ever changing.

“You’re not Marinette.” They said.

“I’m not?” She replied. Well, then why was the world trying to erase her? What had she done to treated like so?

“Have we met before?” Asked the stranger.

“Have we met before?” She asked right back.

“Yes of course!” Alya responded, stepping closer. “Don’t you know me?”

“I don’t know who you are anymore,” said Marinette, her head cocking to the side.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” asked Chloe.

Marinette breathed, her three dimensionality returning as she stepped forward. The action made her dizzy, her head growing huge, inflating like a balloon.

She put her hands over her face, trying to stop the sensation.

Manon giggled.

She removed her hands to see, only to find Lila standing in front of her, laughing.

“Look at you! Look how far the great Ladybug has fallen! Too bad! Maybe I’ll go tell the others where to find you! I’ll tell Salo where to find your parents!” She started to run away, teasing her as she moved.

Ladybug, furious, took chase, her body not moving like she wanted to. Lila was so much faster, so much much more nimble.

The hallway twisted, turning sideways, upside-down, the walls dividing into more sides, a hexagon, a decagon, spinning.

Hawkmoth turned around, laughing as he ran, then splated against the wall, turning into an amoeba-shaped blob, all sorts of radiant colors exploding from the collision.

“Oh, did that hurt?” She asked, as the figure’s blood flowed over her shoes.

“I’m not dreaming am I?”

“You already said that.”

“I’m losing my mind.”

“Quite possibly.”

An arm snapped out of the goo, grabbing hold of her wrist. The fingers curled and twined around her wrist, forcing their way up her body. “And you’re being so brave. Faced with nothing.”

“No!” Marinette screamed, lashing out to scratch the face emerging from the ooze.

Salo’s face.

“You can definitely try to stop me, but it won’t work! No one’s coming for you! No one remembers you! No one wants you!”

“No! No no no!” She shrieked, pulling away from the monster. “I don’t believe you! This isn’t real! It can’t be real!”

But it felt more real than anything she’d ever experienced before.

She felt like she was finally awake.

Chat Noir! He’d know how to help! He could save her!

“Chat!” She screamed.

He didn’t come, but something cold touched her foot.

His baton.

Yes! Yes that would work!

“Try and stop me. I’d love to see you try!”

She grasped hold of the baton, and began to hack at the figure. Like a rose, blood gushed from the chest, flowing and gurgling forth. She kept hitting them. First Salo, then Hawkmoth, then Lila.

Then…

“My Lady?”

Adrien.

She paused, the crowbar over her head, ready to swing down.

Terrified, and taking a grasp of reality, the crowbar slipped from her hands and clattered on the ground.

“Chat? Is that you?” She asked.

“I…I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “I feel like…I’m not me.”

“Me neither.” She whispered back.

A mistake. She had made a mistake. And the world need to fix it!

The ceiling began to fall, crushing her into pulp, and the delusion started all over again.

—

How long had it been?

Hours? Minutes? Days?

Marinette didn’t know. She had been flattened and folded over and over, like a paper crane.

Adrien had been ripped apart and sewn back together.

Both laid on their backs in silence. They were uncaged, and nothing kept them from running out the door.

Nothing but the inevitability of reality slipping away again. As dazzling colors and beautiful patterns twisted in their visions, all they could do was lay on the ground, and cry.

Because who were they now? What were they? Humans? Higher beings? Cosmic dust?

There was no way to know.

“Wow, that did a doozy on you two.” Salo said.

Marinette flicked her eyes over, unable to move any part of her twisted body.

“Well, it’s been over 14 hours. I’m sure it’ll wear off soon. Let’s get you two back to where you need to be.”

Neither moved, both having to be dragged back into their cages.

Things were starting to make sense now. Breathing evened. Hearts slowed. And the bitter cold settled on their shoulders.

There was no peace to be had.

This was hell.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #ml #fanfiction #longest night #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #adrinette #lila #alya #chloe #hawkmoth #drugs tw #ladybug #chat noir #ladynoir

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hackedmotionsensors · 5 years

Text

Here we go Endgame lets talk about it!

BELOW THE CUT

So I’ll say this!!! Over all!!! I liked it a lot. For a lot of reasons.

I also HAAAATTTEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD a lot of some of the choices. That’s okay. We can have mixed feelings about movies especially the end of a saga. I think they did a good job of getting nods where they needed nods, bringing in storylines from previous movies and conversations that needed to happen.

And they fucking whiffed it on at least THREE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS!!!

So lets start with what I liked.

1) STEVE TONY EVENT. DO YOU HEAR ME IT WAS A STEVE TONY EVENT aaaah oh my god. From the second Tony lands back on the planet and Steve RUNS to him before even Pepper and he’s holding him and just the look of agony as Pepper takes him away and the fight where Tony says ALL THE SHIT WE HAD BEEN SAYING!!!! WHERE WERE YOU! YOU LIAR!!! and he RIPS HIS HEART OFF OF HIS CHEST AND GIVES IT TO STEVE BECAUSE YOU FUCKING BROKE HIS HEART YOU FUCKING FUCKED UP STEVE!!!!! FUCKK!!!! And then reconciling because “Resentment is corrosive” UGHHH!!! And Steve just barely containing himself when Tony shows up ughh!! UGHHH!!!!!!! AND THE ASS JOKE!!! THERE’S NO HETEROSEXUAL EXPLANATION ABOUT THAT!!!! TONY SAW STEVES ASS AND WAS LIKE TAN FRANCED IT LIKE BITCH YOU NEED AN FRENCH TUCK OF MY DING DONG IN YOUR BUTT!!! and Steve over the intercom being like “omg tony not in front of the kids” AND A STEVETONY SOLO MISSION!!!!!!

A STEVE TONY...

SOLO

MISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TONY CALLING STEVE MY MAN WOW. WOW. FUCKING EXCELLENT ON ALL ACCOUNTS THANKS SO MUCH!! I was given some bread thank you I will eat this stevetony bread nom nom nom nom nom.

2) Tony’s arc in this story was really beautiful. He finally got what he wanted, some perspective and closure with Howard. And I know initially you want to go “Hey Howard was really abusive” and yeah he was. But its complicated. Because Tony even says in Homecoming he was trying to break the cycle of abuse and he DID with Peter and Morgan. You can see just HOW MUCH he cares for his daughter and he was willing to say fuck you to the UNIVERSE in favor of not losing her. Its always a different perspective when you see your parents as people and not as YOUR PARENTS.

Also Tony lying on the table with Natasha UuU. A lot of the interactions with Tony and the other characters were so good. Tony and Rocket. Tony and Nebula. Tony and Carol (tho brief). Tony arguing with Pierce like his little gay senses were like “This guys a nazi I bet”

3) I genuinely liked the Time Heist. I DID NOT LIKE THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL IN THIS MOVIE BUT I’LL GET TO THAT. But I looooved the Time Heist. From the New York stuff with Steve fighting Steve and knowing his dumbass loses his shit when he hears things like “Bucky’s still alive” and being done with his own stupid shit “I can do this all day” “YEAH I KNOW” (which btw at this point was basically the last thing he said to Tony in Civil War so maybe that doesn’t have its plucky little fire anymore and now is a sore spot). I loved Loki running away with the Space Stone (even tho as of now I’m still not sure what the FUCK THAT MEANS!? more on that in a sec) Loki making fun of Cap. Loki rolling his eyes at Odin. Tony dressed in a shield outfit screaming Medic!!! The gang all on the elevator and Hulk screaming about it and LOKI WAVING HIS HAND AT THE HULK AS THE DOORS SHUT!! TONY SITTING ON THE BRIEFCASE! SCOTT GOING “how the FUCK did you not know they were Hydra LOOK AT THEM They’re a COP!” Then jumping forward to the 70s and Steve’s legs that went all the way up to his asshole and Tony dressed as a doctor

I drew a doodle of it here you go lol I’ll post it properly later

oh did this not happen? Idk what movie you were watching.

4) The big battle at the end was SO FUCKING COMIC BOOK I WAS LOSING IT. Also I keep calling it the Battle of Five Armies or Return of the King lol T’challa BATHED IN A HALO OF LIGHT LIKE YES WE STAN A KING. MY WIFE

MY.

WIFE!!!!!!!!

VALKYRIE!!! ON HER BEAUTIFUL WHITE HORSE!!!! (also not being given an actual name and called Valkyrie is the funniest goddamn thing. Like that’s like going into a Footlocker and talking to the manager but calling them Manager)

CAROL!!!!!! WITH HER BUTCH ASS HAIRCUT PUNCHING THANOS IN THE MOUTH AND WRECKING HIS SHIT

WANDA FINALLY FUCKING FLYING. LIKE. F L Y I N G. THAT is what the Scarlet Witch is SUPPOSED TO DO!! SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE SO POWERFUL IT TOOK EVERYONE TO TAKE HER DOWN CMON!!!!!! And she almost got him too. Honestly if it were down to Carol and Wanda they probably could have ended Thanos alone.

Korg coming back for more comic relief AND PUTTING HIM IN TAIKA’S PINEAPPLE ONESIE!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING.

5) This is controversial. And I know it won’t age well. And that’s okay and feel free to disagree with me entirely.

But I liked Fat Thor lmfao. I know it was played as a joke for the wrong reasons but I laughed. I was like fuck yes his belly looks like mine and that’s not why it was funny and it SHOULDN’T BE but I laughed lol. But on the other hand I think it had partially to do with Hemsworth constantly being like “no no we don’t need a shirtless scene” or just sort of a gag at how Marvel always has a shirtless scene and its just kind of funny to have it not be someone cut. EVEN THOUGH its a fat suit and I can’t take off my fat suit but Hemmy can and that’s kinda shitty.

but I laughed. I can’t help it. He was a whole ass mess and I thought it was funny. And I know there are Thor fans out there who wanted more for him but like I said before this was a SteveTony event. This movie and this win worked because it was Steve and Tony finally coming together again.

It felt honestly the most comic book Avengers of the entire series.

And true to comic book events

it whiffed the landing.

Before I get into dislikes I’ll say that I liked this movie more than I disliked it. I cried H A R D at the end of the movie. Because its not a movie that’s an on its own kind of movie. You had to have gone through the journey to get here. The pay off is completely lost if you only watch this movie. Or you only watch one or two of the MCU. Or if you’re like a few people I’ve talked to where they only like Steve and Tony. Or they only like Thor and Loki. Or they only like the Guardians and hate the avengers. If you have hate in your heart for any of these characters the payoff of this movie is pretty much lost.

The theme of this movie is clearly about moving on when things come to an end. When things stop or end or we lose people we love you have to move on. Steve says that at the beginning of the movie to our apparent gay representative straight director Joe Russo.

But like Tony said before.

Steve’s a fucking liar lmfao

But lets not start there. Lets start with the fucking timeline.

I hate.

I H A T E EEEEEEEEE TIME TRAVEL!!!!!! AS A PLOT!!!!!!! WITHOUT ANY RULES!!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed what we SAW of the Time travel but the rules itself DIDN’T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.

So when they’re suiting up Hawkeye for the test run Bruce explicitly says that all these movies that say “if you go into the past and fuck up the past you fuck up the timeline and the present/future is fucked because you’ve changed things”

ARE WRONG. HE SAYS THEY ARE WRONG. He says “If you go into the past. The past becomes your present. But the present then becomes your future. So you can’t go back and un fuck your parents to make you. Or kill baby Thanos. because that happened and you can’t change that but you can change youre present”

WHICH DOESN’T

MAKE ANY

FUCKING

SENSE. BECAUSE THEN YOU AREN”T TIME TRAVELING!!!!!!!!!

If you go into the past yes YOU are in your present but the world is still being written around you STILL so you go into the past and change something (loki making off with the space stone) that’s CHANGED. You’ve created a new reality.

THEY EXPLICITLY SAY THIS IN DOCTOR STRANGE AND Y’ALL I KNOW DOCTOR STRANGE WAS BORING AS HELL BUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO USE TIME TRAVEL AS YOUR STORY DEVICE THEN YOU CAN’T SAY THAT SHIT IN DOCTOR STRANGE DOESN’T WORK WHEN YOU’VE ESTABLISHED IT AS THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL.

THE ANCIENT ONE EVEN SAYS “you create a new reality. And it fucks shit up”

LIKE!?!?!??!

WHAT THE HELL!!!

So now Loki has the time Stone in reality B, in reality A Steve goes back and puts the stones back where they belong (and I guess.....gives the soul stone to Red Skull????????? wouldn’t you try to get Natasha back????like that itself is a whole movie of Steve going back and putting things away but ??????)

And then we get to the end of the movie where Steve says Fuck you to Peggy’s reality A family and now on this timeline where they’ve time traveled he lived an entire life WITH Peggy but like.......you were Captain America and you just said “No don’t worry about JFK being assassinated. Or the Civil Rights movement. Or stopping Bucky in any capacity. Or maybe saving MLK. Or Peggy continuing to join SHIELD. Or stopping ACTUAL NAZIS from infiltrating SHIELD.

Because if you go with this idea that Steve went back and “lived a life” What did he DO then. What did he FUCKING. DO?

You’re not Steve from 1940s going back to 1940s. You’re Steve form 2019 going back to 1940s. No wifi. No medicine. No cell phones? Gays are still being persecuted. You can’t drink from the same fountain as black people (or rather they can’t drink from your white fountain).

You are.

CAPTAIN.

AMERICA.

and you just said nah fuck it its fine? This shit can all happen but I don’t super care because I get to dance with Peggy. Peggy who on her own had this whole life. Who did all this stuff IN YOUR NAME IN YOUR HONOR. Who married someone else. Who had a FAMILY. Who had a NIECE that you made out with. And just..... wha....

Like if he had gone back and danced with her but came back with Natasha in exchange for the soul stone but during his travels had aged. Or met someone else.

Like movie wise and story wise I get wrapping up Steve’s story. And maybe the person Peggy is talking about in the video of her in TWS is actually Steve from 2019. Maybe that’s it. But it still doesn’t make sense because they FUCKED UP THE RULES OF TIME TRAVEL SO WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

So. lol I wasn’t a huge fan of Steve at the end of the movie. I know they needed to do something to end the movie with a finality. With Steve being DONE. But instead of finality or closure I just have so many goddamn questions. And I don’t hold it against Evans or even really the directors per say. But I’ll blame Markus and McFeely because they were writing since TWS. They HAD the Cap STORYLINE to write about and that was how they ended it.

its like when you pack for a very important trip and you plan out all your outfits but then wake up late and end up throwing whatever you can find into your suitcase and run out the door.

It felt final and not final.

But I’ll tell you this. From my perspective and obviously I’m going to skew it this way because its me and FEEL FREE to disagree with me.

He left because Tony and Natasha were dead. The two people that he felt the closest to (sorry Sam, Bucky and Sharon [who we didn’t even see as dusted wow]) were gone. Natasha and Steve had become a brother and sister. He would always come back for her clearly. Trying to cheer her up as she’s crying. Natasha understanding Steve’s feeling of being lost. Tony inspiring and fighting with Steve. Like that’s part of what I liked about this is taht you could really feel how Steve and Tony needed each other for this to work but also they needed to not hate each other.

Also I kinda knew the second Scott said “That’s a one way trip!!” before the 70s bit that Steve was going to stay in the past lol What an asshole.

Also I don’t think it was very UN-Captain America because I think people don’t always realize that a lot of the inspo for the MCU came ALSO from Ultimates. And if Ults Cap was able to go back to the past he would have in a heartbeat. Who was a more depressed Cap? Ults or MCU? I just don’t know.

Now.

Natasha.

This was another one I kind of saw coming from a mile away as soon as it was just the two of them on Vormir. I was kind of hoping they’d Hawkeye a way out of the deal by like throwing his daughters picture or something like that. Or that it would be Hawkeye. But they both had an upcoming movie/series so I didn’t know which way it went.

And then there was that big jump. And I was like oh my god they did it right

AND THEN THEY FUCKING DIDN’T.

Wow. Wowwwwwwwwww

Markus and McFeely

REALLY DID THAT

THE RUSSO BROTHERS REALLY DID THAT

THEY DID THE SAME FUCKING SCENE TWICE.

The first time you get because Thanos is a dick and abusive and he would absolutely throw his favorite daughter into the soul pit (which I guess Isn’t picky because she didn’t love him back she hated him but I guess its a one way street with the ol’ soul stone)

And they don’t say during that one (far as I remember) that its a permanent exchange.

But they sure emphasized this time. And they sure killed the original avenger who was the only girl on the team. Who never got a chance to live.

Who Whedon made herself call heself a monster because she can’t have a family and then she gets a found family and then SHE DIES. THEY KILL HER. AFTER HAVING A FAMILY.

WHAT THE FUCK. Like...my problems with Scarjo aside (which are similar with my problems with Paltrow) You DID. BLACK. WIDOW. FUCKING. DIRTY. I don’t care that there’s a movie coming out that was her story. You were supposed to give her a fucking story. And now her story is only how she relates to her TEAM OF MEN.

And now to my last point that I didn’t like. And I don’t hate this one as much as Steve’s ending or Natasha’s ending.

I don’t like that Tony died. I know this is wrapped up in a lot of emotions I have about Tony Stark the character. Robert Downey Jr the person. Tony Stark the character in all his forms is very important to me and I love that he has many forms. 616, Ults, AvAc, Avengers Assemble, the MCU. But his story is important to me. And its heartbreaking. I’m tearing up a bit now writing this out.

I’m just the type of person that hates that a character, in a fantasy setting where you have wizards, valkyries, robots, talking raccoons and trees, Dave Bautista, a giant green rage monster wearing chinos, that you have to take this one part and make it realistic. That we have to keep realism kill this character off because it doesn’t make sense if someone doesn’t die. Because the stakes aren’t high if you don’t make them personal as well.

Which is true like you don’t have high stakes (the planet or universe getting dusted) if you don’t are about some of the people in that universe personally.

I just would have rather he had retired. Moved onto his little farm with Pepper and Morgan.

I think they did right by Tony. Storywise, ending...all the stuff the dropped the fucking ball on with Natasha and Steve they gave to Tony. And on one hand I get it and I appreciate that because (sorry to nat and steve fans truly) I care more about Tony. Tony started this whole thing. In a miracle of accidents they got the right actor, the right story, the right character, the right director, the right timing technology wise, the right social mood and made solid gold. And none of this would have happened if it weren’t for that amazing accident that happened.

And I think it has more to do with not wanting to let go or move on even though i can always go back to Iron Man 1 at any point and start the journey over again and have a laugh but there’s always going to be that ending where its final. Its done. Its over. And in the simplest of terms. I don’t like it. You have to know when to bow out and I respect and appreciate that. I don’t wanna see Iron Man 8 with geriatric old RDJ trying to fumble into a mocap suit.

I understand. I appreciate. But I don’t have to like it as a person. And that’s okay.

Its all about moving on isn’t it? That’s the theme of the movie. Moving on.

Even if you’re steve and your moving on wipes out the existance of a whole other family lmfaaoidnsfasfada sorry sorry.

Okay. yeah that’s all I think I can think of. I’m sure there’s a ton more other people have mentioned aside from what I wrote. Like its a LONG movie and I think its hard to say hey “they fucked this up” or “they got this right” for EVERY SINGLE THING. There were so many characters. Nebula’s story could have been better. Thor’s story could have been more involved. Hawkeye could have been more important throughout the series. Janet could have come back for the final fight and healed Tony. Like there’s a ton of “this COULD have happened” But it didn’t. And that’s okay. It may not be right but its okay. I think they wrapped it up as best you could while still making a good movie. I think you probably can go back after a long while and look at the Endgame and go yeah that wasn’t so bad for an ending. Endings are hard to do with any sort of skill. Its why the joke that the third movie always sucks.

There’s still a ton of stuff to look forward to.

Falcon/Winter Soldier, Loki, Hawkeye, Wanda and Vision (i GUESS??? lol), Black Widow’s movie.

Maybe Steve solved more than he let on who knows. WHO KNOWS. Maybe Mjolnir left him haflway through the journey when she knew he was going to ditch his 2019 family (who again....mostly dead now)

I love Tony 3000. Which I found out is more than a ton which makes Morgan Stark a lot smarter than I am lmfao

#avengers: endgame spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #spoilers

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tiny-twilight-dancer · 4 years

Text

11/19/2019

CW: 149.0

Food: some pineapple (100), chicken noodle soup (220), Gatorade zero (0)

Total: 320

Do I want to consume an entire pint of mint chocolate chip Halo Top on Thursday? Yes I do. Will I? Yes I will.

#tw #trigger warning #proana #notprojustusingtags #countingcalories #eatingdisorder #thinspo #fooddiary #bulimia #anorexia #thinsp0

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dcbbw · 5 years

Text

Timing--Part 7 (Sympathy for the Devil)

This is Part 7 of my fanfic and it’s my version of events once the gang travels to LA to find Tariq. In my version, he refuses to come forward and Riley made a painful decision. Now that Tariq has agreed to speak, what happens when Liam breaks the news to Madeleine? I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please excuse any typos and/or grammatical errors.

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Song Inspiration: Road Head, Japanese Breakfast: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpOo3gPANnw

Word Count: 3123

Tagging: @sirbeepsalot @gennesaret @simsvetements @cora-nova @carabeth@hopefulmoonobject @katedrakeohd @aworldoffandoms @custaroonie @liamxs-world @lauradowning29 @speedyoperarascalparty @thequeenofcronuts

Liam X MC, Liam X Riley, Liam x Madeleine

It was 6am, and the halls of the palace were dark and quiet. Liam made his way softly from the gym back to his chambers. His sleep, if it could be called that was fitful. When he wasn’t replaying every nuance of the conversation with Penelope and Tariq, he had images flashing through his brain. Riley’s eyes landing on Bertrand when Bastien mentioned betrayal. Tariq in Riley’s room. Drake in Riley’s room. Maxwell comforting Penelope. Riley taking Maxwell’s arm in Lythikos. Him kissing Olivia.

He finally gave up trying to sleep at 4am, and decided to start his day. First stop was the palace gymnasium to work off the restless energy. As he got out of bed, he saw the large manila envelope that had been slid under his door at some point during the night. Tariq’s statement. He would read it over before his trip to Fydelia. As he stepped out of his room, clad in a wife beater and black boxing shorts, he saw Riley’s scarf hanging on the knob of one of the double doors. She came to me last night. He did not hear her knock, and wasn’t sure he would have answered if he had. He held the scarf in his hands, lifting it to his nose to inhale her scent. He went back inside the room to lay the scarf on his bed, before heading back out and down to go a few rounds with a punching bag.

Now, as he headed back to shower, dress, and head out, he looked at the end of the hall. At Riley’s door. He missed her. He wanted to see her. He crept softly to her room, and gently turned the knob. He had considered knocking, but did not want to wake her. He tiptoed into the room, seeing her lying in bed, sleeping deeply. Moonlight poured into the room, courtesy of her never wanting to shut her curtains. It bathed her in a bluish light, but there wasn’t much to see. Just her hair which was a halo of curls on the pillow, and her face in profile and silhouette. I love you Riley. I am in love with you. I’m sorry I put you in this position. Please be here when I come back. Please still be in love with me. He left the room, as quietly as he entered.

Once he was showered and dressed, he powered his cellphone on. He had shut it off after texting Madeleine he would like to call on her the following day, probably mid-morning, to discuss an important matter with her. Madeleine texted back almost immediately. Fine. He pulled open the envelope to quickly review the statement; he made a few quick revisions, and placed it back in the envelope. He sent a text to his valet with instructions for the envelope to be returned to Bertrand, and glanced at his phone. A missed text from Riley. Sleep well, love. I may come up to tuck you in later. He smiled to himself, then called the kitchen, instructing them to send breakfast to Riley’s room in 2 hours: cronuts, fruit, cheeses, and hot cocoa. He quickly texted back. Had I known you were offering, I would never have fallen asleep. Enjoy breakfast, and I will see you later today. Love you.

After a 2 hour drive, Liam found himself knocking on Madeleine’s front door. After knocking a second time, Madeleine flung open the doors, wearing a bright smile. “Darling!” she exclaimed. Liam looked at her, a confused look on his face. “There’s no press.” “Oh.” Madeline’s smile dropped quickly as she spun on her heel and retreated back into her estate. Liam followed. This is who I was supposed to marry? Madeleine led him to a sunny, cozy sitting room. A tray of assorted pastries, fruit, and yogurts sat on a table, along with water, and assorted fruit juices. Madeleine gestured towards the table: “Help yourself.” Liam fixed himself a small plate, and settled in at the circular dining table, across from Madeleine, who was drinking pineapple vodka on the rocks.

Liam looked at the glass, then at Madeleine, eyebrow raised.

“What? You text me last night saying you had something important to discuss this morning. I’m figuring that whatever you have to tell me is better…processed…with me not quite sober. So…talk.” Her green eyes were inquisitive but disinterested. In fact, her entire body language suggested she wanted to be anywhere else with anyone else.

“Lady Riley was going to leave me and return to America.” Liam just blurted it out. That was not the statement to lead with.

“Really?” Madeleine was definitely interested now. Her eyes were slightly widened and she leaned forward.

“Yes, as you know, we were trying to find Tariq to come forward and clear her name. He refused to at first, but relented last night. He and Lady Penelope were at the Palace yesterday evening discussing the events leading up to the photos.”

Madeleine took a swallow of her vodka and pineapple juice. “Tariq and Penelope in the same room, attempting conversation? How much did you learn about fashion and poodles?”

“It was a bit more enlightening than that.”

“How much more? One is stupider than a box of rocks, and the other is spineless and scared shitless.”

“Tariq has given a statement that will clear Lady Riley, and he will be returning to Court.”

Madeleine felt the beginnings of uneasiness. “Well, I am happy to hear that Lady Riley’s name will be restored. As you know, I have always felt strongly about the situation, and in her favor I might add.”

Liam reached across the table to take one of Madeleine’s hands in his. His tone was apologetic, eyes downcast. “There is no easy way to say this, but we both knew it could happen.” Madeleine looked at his hand on top of hers, and snatched her hand away. She stood, drink in hand, and made her way to one of the floor to ceiling windows, her back to Liam.

“So, you’ve come to break off the engagement.” Her tone was matter-of-fact, not even a hint of a question in the statement.

“Yes”.

She continued to stare out the window, holding her drink in her hand. Liam came to stand behind her. He went to put his hands on her shoulders, but he saw her stiffen. “Do.not.come.near.me.” Madeleine hissed through clenched teeth.

His arms fell back to his side. “We both know there is no love lost between us, but that does not mean I do not feel badly for hurting you.”

She took a sip of her drink as she stared out the window. “My dream has been killed for a second time. More than likely, for the last time. You have more than hurt me. You and your Father have taken away my one dream.”

“I had nothing to do with my Father’s manipulations.”

“Didn’t you?” Madeleine whirled around angrily to face Liam. “The minute you accepted his arrangement, the minute you chose me, you had everything to do with it. You are the bad guy here, Liam, as much as you may try to avoid it.”

Liam looked at Madeleine. He wanted to refute the statement, but she was right. Madeleine may be a bitch, but she was an honest bitch. “You’re right”, he said quietly. “I know my apologies are inadequate, but they are sincere. I will work to find a place for you in Court.”

“Just not Queen.” Her tone was quiet, the slightest break in her voice.

Madeleine stepped forward swiftly until her face was mere inches from Liam’s. Liam reflexively took a step back as he held his hands up defensively. Madeleine huffed and rolled her eyes. “What are you doing?”

“I…you…you scared me.”

She wrapped her arms across her chest. “Really, Liam?”

“Is it me?” She was closer now. She smelled of gardenias and soap.

“It is, but not in the way you think. You are not an unattractive woman, Madeleine. But even if I felt an attraction to you, you still have history with my brother. Intimate history.”

“This isn’t about you and your attractions, Liam, and it isn’t about me fucking your brother. This is about why you feel I am unfit to be Queen.”

“Madeleine, you are not unfit to be Queen; in fact, you may be the most qualified woman in all of Cordonia to be Queen. But, you are unfit to be my wife. I need passion, spontaneity…fun. Things I did not even know I needed until I met Lady Riley. That is the difference between you and Riley….she wants to be with me. You just want to be Queen. She is in love with me. You are in love with Cordonia. I am not Cordonia, but a mere representation of its people.”

“You know, I could’ve dealt with being married to you, even though I have absolutely no romantic feelings for you. Just because I do not love you does not mean I would not…do not care about you.”

“Madeleine,despite your protests, it sounds an awful lot like you saying you do have…feelings for me?” Liam’s voice was filled with horrified disbelief.

“Put your eyes back in your head. Care and love are not mutually exclusive, and caring for and caring about are two different things.” She was quiet for a moment. “Tell me, do you really think marriage with me would be so horrible? “

Liam poured himself a scotch as he answered her over his shoulder. “Frankly, yes.”

He turned back around to face her, and noticed she had resumed her seat at the dining table. He joined her, bringing the bottle of scotch with him. “How did you envision being married to me to be?”

With a gentle smile on her face, she spoke. “Quiet. Perhaps a deep friendship growing. Definitely bonding over the children.” Liam looked startled. She rolled her eyes. “Perhaps I should refer to them as heirs? Yes, Liam…children. A dark haired girl, and a blonde haired boy. I imagined we would learn to care for each other. Oh, I wouldn’t be the one to send you out the door in the morning with a smile on your face, or relax you at the end of a long day…but I think we could have had a tolerable union.”

Liam looked at curiously. “Don’t you want love? To have someone to be excited about? Someone you would do anything for just to see them smile?”

She toyed with her pastry, breaking off little pieces of it, watching the pieces fall onto her plate. “I have given up on love in the romantic sense….Leo took that part of me with him.”

“Do you still miss him?”

“I miss the Madeleine he took with him.”

“Leo has always been a free spirit….he has never settled into one place or one person for too long.” Liam looked at the table. He did not know what to say after that. When Leo abdicated, everyone wondered what it meant for Cordonia, for the Crown. No one ever thought about what it meant to the woman he was supposed to marry. What it meant to her dreams, her plans.

Madeleine looked over at him, saw his brow furrowing as he bit his lip. “What’s wrong?”

He looked up at her with sad eyes. “Just thinking how selfish I have been….it never crossed my mind to ask how you were doing after everything happened.”

Madeleine looked at him, her eyes softening slightly. “Women are accessories at Court. We are all pretty dresses, and pretty faces. We are often not thought of or about. Besides, the future of Cordonia was at stake. It is…understandable I would be an afterthought.”

“That isn’t right, and you know it.”

She shrugged. “It’s Court. So, tell me….how is Lady Riley taking the news?” She was obviously changing the subject, and Liam was happy to go along with that.

“I am not sure. I know she is elated that her name will be cleared, but some of what precipitated this situation was a little disturbing. To me at least. Riley doesn’t seem affected.”

“She’s had time to process it. She’s had to live it every day since it happened….she’s had time to come to terms with it. But wait…disturbing? Care to elaborate?” She poured them each another drink without looking at him.

Liam had no idea what to tell her, if anything. He certainly could not tell her about Constantine’s role in everything. He went to shake his head no and say it’s nothing, but what came out was, “Ever since I found out what happened, I can’t help feeling that she may have affections for someone else.”

Madeleine was in the middle of bringing her glass to her lips. She slowly put the glass down. “What the hell, Liam? You come to my home, break off our engagement, and now want to confide in me like I’m a parish priest? You have nerve, lots of it.”

“I don’t know why I told you that. Maybe…maybe in all the wrong ways, we are more similar than I care to admit, and I wanted to tell someone who would understand.”

“Who is this someone?” Madeleine was genuinely pissed, but her curiosity was stronger.

“Drake.” He saved her that night from Tariq. He saw her naked. He says he cares about her. “Maxwell.” He may be comforting her. I don’t know what they do when they’re alone. “I don’t know what I feel, or even why I am feeling it. I don’t know how to approach any of them. “

“Drake and Maxwell?” Her tone was not incredulous or mocking, but thoughtful as she mulled it over, twirling a piece of her hair.

Taking a deep breath, Madeleine took a long swallow from her glass. She then looked Liam in his eyes and told him, “You are the most oblivious asshole I have ever met.”

"You overstep, Countess Madeleine." Liam bristled.

She held up her hand to both quiet him and supplicate him. “Liam, you do not get to do that. You do not get to ask folks to perform jobs, tasks, favors…whatever you call them…and then get angry when they actually perform the job!

You were the one who asked your hunky, ruggedly handsome friend to be Lady Riley’s bodyguard. You knew as a sponsee of House Beaumont, she would be living with Maxwell. You put everyone in a damn near constant position to possibly break your heart, and now you are allowing your insecurities and jealousies to cause an existential crisis, although it isn’t unwarranted.

“Liam, love is actions, as well as words. All you have offered Lady Riley are words that have fallen flat, and little to no action. The few actions you have shown her….”she trailed off, arching her eyebrow at him. “Look, women love the knight in shining armor. You know why? Because he shows up. Kings don’t show up…they send others to show up for them.”

“But I love her! I was willing to abdicate for her!” Liam protested.

At his words, an undefinable expression crossed Madeleine’s face, but she continued talking. “But you didn’t, did you? You chose every route but that one and lucked up that Tariq decided to come forward. And that is what this is all about. Last night, you saw the others that were showing up for the woman you love. That others were making time for Riley while you could only find time for her.

Yet, you think declarations of love, talk of evil forces keeping you apart will be enough to keep her around and enraptured with you. Until a half hour ago, you were engaged to me. You took me on a worldwide tour. What did she get? A pearl bracelet? An hour or two after midnight in Paris? And the whole time, your waterboys were playing quarterback with your love life. So no, I do not overstep…you underestimate.

Liam sat at the table, his eyes unable to leave Madeleine’s face. As angry as he was, as hurtful her words had been….he knew she was right, and he had been right to confide in her. His breathing was heavy as he processed everything she had just said.

“Well, say something”, Madeleine demanded impatiently.

“I cannot believe you are such an advocate of Lady Riley's."

“Well, I cannot believe the lovesick idiot sitting across from me is King of Cordonia…but here we are.”

Liam laughed, then laid his eyes, soft and gentle, on Madeleine’s face. “You really are something, Maddy. I am very sorry I had to be the one to break your dream.”

“I’m resilient, I will build new ones.”

“I will help. Whatever your endeavors, you have the full support of the Crown, and I will see what I can do to keep you as involved in Court as possible.” He cleared his throat. “Statements will be released to the press tomorrow. Can I…can I count on your support?”

“I will be there tomorrow. You and Bertrand will have something drafted for my review this evening?”

“Of course.”

Madeleine was staring at the table while she fiddled with her finger, removing her engagement ring. She pushed it across the table towards him. He looked at it briefly, and pushed it back towards her. “You keep it. As a reminder of your ultimate service to Cordonia. You gave up being Queen so Cordonia’s King could have a chance at true happiness.”

A lone tear fell down her cheek as she nodded, closing her hand over the piece of jewelry.

As he stood to go, he put a hand to her cheek. “Madeleine, I don’t whether to curse you or kiss you right now. You have been….unexpected during this visit.”

“Do both.” She challenged jokingly with a small smile.

“I don’t think I can ever curse you. No matter how frustrating you can be. You have given me my future back.”

“Fine, I can do both.” Madeleine stood and pulled Liam’s face to hers. She kissed him softly and sweetly on his lips. “Fuck you, Liam. Now get the hell out of my house.”

#choices trr #trr fanfic #trr madeleine #choices the royal romance #king liam fanfic #king liam #liam x riley #liam x mc

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obsidianarchives · 5 years

Text

Beneath the Surface - Part 2

An Unexpected Correspondence

“Hermione!”

The door to the dormitory slammed open, and Hermione looked up from her dress robes to see Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown.

“How could you not tell us you were going to Slughorn’s party with Cormac McLaggen?” Parvati exclaimed.

“Oh, er,” Hermione eyed them warily. She had generally been friendly with Parvati and Lavender, but they had been two of the few who had laughed at Ron’s mocking in class earlier. They seemed to be remorseful now, or at least had resolved to move on from it.

Lavender strode up to her and pulled the robes from Hermione’s hands, inspecting them. They were blush pink with a faint gold shimmer. “Have you got any accessories for this?”

“Yeah, I — what are you doing?” Hermione asked, noticing Parvati rooting through her own trunk.

“We’re going to help you get ready,” she answered as she straightened up, holding a bright purple heavy-looking box covered with metallic stickers.

“You really don’t have to—”

“Of course we do!” Lavender exclaimed, “We’re your roommates. Plus we didn’t get invites so we have nothing better to do.”

Parvati opened her box, revealing its contents: palettes of eye shadows and tubes of eyeliner and mascara. “I also have hair accessories. Lav, don’t you have a choker that would go with the gold of her robes?” she asked as she sat Hermione down at the foot of her bed.

“On it,” Lavender called, already searching through her own things.

Hermione felt a little surprised by their sudden excitement but allowed herself to relax as they helped her get ready. She rarely hung out with girls — occasionally the three of them would have slumber parties, but they hadn’t done that since fourth year. Other than sharing a room with Ginny when she stayed at the Burrow, her friend interactions had almost exclusively been with Harry and Ron. This was nice, getting to hang out with people without the added pressure of dealing with Ron’s insecurities or Harry’s bleak future.

Parvati and Lavender did an amazing job. Parvati bemoaned not having any makeup for full coverage — not even the wizarding world had found it necessary to create foundations that matched darker skin tones — but she added gold wingtips to Hermione’s eyelids that Lavender declared “inspired.”

Lavender undid the two plaits Hermione had been wearing all day and pulled her thick hair up into a pineapple, using her wand to make some of her curls more defined, a trick she said her aunt had taught her over the summer. She and Parvati carefully placed Parvati’s alternating burgundy and gold butterfly clips in a halo around her hair, the clips flapping their wings leisurely.

Hermione thanked them both profusely, though she wondered to herself whether they should have wasted so much effort on Cormac, who Hermione was still wary of.

He was waiting for her in the common room, dressed in alarmingly bright dress robes of royal blue. His hair was ruffled carefully, and he grinned when he saw her.

“Looking good Granger!” he said, slinging an arm over her shoulder and steering her out into the halls.

Once the portrait of the Fat Lady swung shut behind them, she slid out from under his arm, careful not to mess up her hair. “Er, you look nice,” she offered as they continued down the hall.

Cormac smiled again, his eyes drifting across her body. She crossed her arms. “Thanks,” he said, “I just threw it on after the two-on-two Quidditch match my buddies and I played after dinner.”

“Oh?” Hermione raised her eyebrows at him, thinking of all the time Parvati had spent inspecting her eyelids to make sure they were symmetrical.

“Yeah, it was epic,” he said, “You know I tried out for Keeper but I’m a fairly good Beater as well. We only had one Bludger but…”

Hermione listened to Cormac’s play-by-play as attentively as she could, but found herself zoning out more than a couple of times. By the time they had turned into the corridor holding Slughorn’s office, she realized he was on a completely different story than the one he had started out with.

Thankfully, they were approaching the office now. Cormac still prattled along as they stepped through the door, but Hermione’s attention was caught by the wonderful way Slughorn had decorated the room.

It somehow seemed larger than usual, the hangings draped to look like they were inside a large tent, a towering tree sprung up where the table usually sat for their dinners. There were far more people here than Hermione had expected, and she realized that while not a lot of the student body was invited, Slughorn was taking this moment to bask in the number of connections he had. Music floated through the room as house-elves carried trays of food through the crowd. Hermione forced herself not to turn and leave right then at the sight of them, and looked around instead for Harry.

She figured he ought to be here by now with Luna, but what she thought might be the glint of his glasses turned out to be that of a gold bracelet on Melinda Bobbin’s wrist, and there were quite a few people in here with dark hair.

Her eyes fell on Blaise Zabini. He was standing off to the right with Daphne Greengrass and a short stocky man in a stetson. His dress robes were a deep burgundy with gold thread embroidered along his collar and the ends of his sweeping sleeves. His smooth skin seemed to shine under the lights. His dark eyes met hers and widened for a moment before he nodded at her in greeting.

“Want to get some drinks?” Cormac’s voice was too loud in her ear.

Hermione tore her gaze away from Zabini and nodded, “Sure.”

They wound their way through the crowd towards the bar when Cormac was hailed loudly by a large man with an impressive golden mustache. The man, it turned out, was Cormac’s uncle Tiberius.

“Good to see you my boy!” Tiberius cried boisterously.

“I didn’t realize you were coming,” Cormac said, grinning widely. Hermione could see the familial resemblance — both were quite large with blue eyes, and seemed to carry themselves with the sort of confidence that could only be found in the privileged mediocre.

“Yes, I told your father to keep it all hush hush, thought I would surprise you,” Tiberius said, his eyes falling on Hermione, “But it seems you’re the one with the surprises Cormac!”

“This is Hermione,” Cormac said, sliding his hand around her waist unexpectedly, causing her to stumble into him. This close, she could smell the faint scent of grass and sweat that clung to him. She tried to maintain her composure, leaning away as she smiled politely at Cormac’s uncle.

“Charmed,” Tiberius said, taking Hermione’s hand and kissing it, “I’m glad to see Cormac has been doing well in his extracurricular activities.”

Hermione coughed in surprise at the man’s brazen sleaziness. Cormac moved his hand to pat her back as he grinned at Tiberius, which allowed her to shift away from him. Feeling thoroughly uncomfortable, she resumed her search for Harry, resolving to ditch Cormac at the first sight of her friend.

Thankfully, Tiberius soon bid them farewell as Professor Slughorn called to him, a swell of laughter passing through the room. Cormac and Hermione finally made it to the bar, where Cormac ordered a firewhisky for himself and a butterbeer for her. As she took a sip, she wondered if she should have chosen firewhisky as well — she was of age and seemed to be full of nerves. Perhaps it would have soothed them.

Hermione spotted Harry with Luna across the room, talking to Slughorn, a small man in glasses, and a vampire. She followed Cormac absently, trying to figure out a way to get over to them.

“Well would you look at that?” Cormac said.

Hermione glanced at him, still distracted, “Hmm?”

Cormac pointed up, a sly smile on his face. Hermione was suddenly filled with dread at the sight of the cluster of green leaves floating just above them. She took a step back.

“Ah, come on,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder, “It’s Christmas.”

His hand slipped up her neck, fingers burrowing into her hair. As he leaned in, Hermione could smell the firewhisky on his breath, hot and sharp. Just before his lips touched hers, she seemed to jolt back into herself. She ducked down and out of his arms, feeling his fingers tug at the strands of her hair as she unloosed herself. Before he could say anything, she ducked through two of the Weird Sisters, heart racing.

“Hermione! Hermione!”

She was relieved to see Harry approach, pulling Luna after him. “Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!”

“What’s happened to you?” Harry asked, his eyes trailing up to her hair, which she could feel was coming undone.

“Oh, I’ve just escaped — I mean, I’ve just left Cormac,” she said. She tried to smooth up the back of her hair, but could tell it was a lost cause. At the confused look on Harry’s face, she added, “Under the mistletoe.”

“Serves you right for coming with him,” he told her. She felt a twinge of irritation. How did her coming here with Cormac mean she deserved to be accosted?

“It’s not like I wanted to,” she hissed, “He cornered me. Let’s go this way, we’ll be able to see him coming, he’s so tall.” She lead them to the other side of the room, grabbing a goblet of mead as she went and draining the cup in one. Too late, she realized she had lead them right to Professor Trelawney, who was standing alone.

“Hello,” said Luna politely.

Trelawney greeted Luna back, and as they started their conversation, Harry turned back to Hermione, concern on his face.

“I didn’t ask before. Are you planning to tell Ron that you interfered at Keeper tryouts?”

Hermione glared at him, “Of course not! I’ve got no plans to tell Ron anything about what might, or might not, have happened at Keeper tryouts.”

“Good,” said Harry, “Because he’ll just fall apart again, and we’ll lose the next match—”

Her panicked nerves transformed at his words, a burning anger rising in her. “Quidditch! Is that all boys care about? Cormac hasn’t asked me one single questions about myself, no, I’ve just been treated to ‘A Hundred Great Saves Made by Cormac McLaggen’ nonstop ever since—” she broke off, noticing him coming their way, “Oh no, here he comes!”

She hurried off without another word, ducking around the large Christmas tree. One of the leaves got tangled in her hair and she stopped to unwind it, before turning back to continue her course.

She glanced behind her to make sure Cormac hadn’t seen her, and turned around too late, colliding into Zabini.

“Sorry,” she said quickly, grabbing his arms to keep herself upright. His warm scent washed over her, cinnamon and cloves mingling with the smell of pine from the tree beside them.

Zabini’s hands gripped her elbows a moment and then let go, his eyebrows raised at the sight of her. His gaze drifted up to her hair.

“You look like you’ve just wrestled a troll.”

She flushed, reaching up self-consciously to touch the back of her hair again before stopping herself. “I may as well have,” she breathed, glancing behind her again. Cormac had just made it to Harry, who was shrugging. Cormac frowned at Harry’s response and looked up, eyes tracking the room. Hermione ducked past Zabini and behind the tree, counting on the both of them to hide her.

Zabini watched her with a frown, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” she hissed, peeking out a bit to see if Cormac was on the move, “I’m hiding from the troll.”

Zabini followed her gaze for a moment, his frown deepening. “You’re not having a great night, are you Granger?”

Hermione was barely listening as she searched the room for another place to hide. There was a small gap between Gwenog Jones and a man almost as large as Hagrid. If she timed it right, she could slip between them and end up on the other side of the room without Cormac being any the wiser.

Zabini was looking at her again, scrutinizing her face. “Do you want to get out of here?”

His suggestion startled her out of her plotting. She gaped up at him. Why would Blaise Zabini want to go anywhere with her? His hand was suddenly gripping her elbow again, eyes hardening as it drifted past the tree. She followed his gaze to see Cormac walking in their direction.

“Yes, let’s go,” she said quickly.

Luckily, this side of the tree was closest to the exit. Zabini pulled her through the clusters of people. He dropped her arm just as Filch appeared in the doorway, pulling Draco Malfoy inside by the ear, looking triumphant. He gestured for Hermione to follow him before ducking around Filch and sliding out of the room.

The hall outside was silent, the sounds of the party contained within the confines of Slughorn’s office. Hermione took a deep breath, feeling lighter.

Zabini continued down the hall and she hurried after him, wondering where they were going. The silence, relieving at first, quickly turned awkward. A thousand questions rose in Hermione’s head, but only one left her mouth.

“What are you doing?”

Zabini looked down at her with a smirk before turning back to face forward, “Walking.”

Hermione felt a surge of irritation, “Obviously,” she said, “But why are you helping me? What about your date?”

He shrugged, “She’ll be fine.”

Hermione frowned, “That’s not very considerate, you know. Does she at least know you’ve left?”

“You’re one to talk, aren’t we here so you could ditch McLaggen?”

“McLaggen is an aggressive pig,” Hermione snapped.

“You’re the one who chose to take him as your date.”

Hermione felt angry at his words. Harry’s insistence that she was somehow getting her comeuppance rose back up in her memory. She stopped walking. “Just because I agreed to go with him to the party doesn’t mean I asked to be manhandled under a floating bush!”

Zabini halted a few steps ahead of her, looking back, his eyes wide in shock, “No — I didn’t mean...I know the way he treated you isn’t your fault. I’m sorry it came off that way.”

Hermione eyed him warily, her frustration simmering at the genuine look of remorse on his face. She started walking again.

“I just assumed you’d go with Potter,” Zabini continued, when it was clear to him that she wouldn’t bite his head off.

“Yeah, well I was originally going to go with Ron, but that didn’t work out.”

“You almost brought Weasley?” she wasn’t looking at him, but she could hear the derision in his voice.

“Only as friends,” she didn’t know why she felt the need to clarify, but she did anyway. They climbed the stairs up toward Gryffindor Tower, “I thought it might be fun, before…”

“Before he started acting like an arse, you mean,” Zabini said.

She shrugged, “Sure.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, and when she looked up at him, she saw that he looked thoughtful.

“I’d always wondered why you hung around the two of them,” he said finally, “Doesn’t seem all that equal of a relationship.”

“I’m sure you would know, seeing as you’re by yourself most of the time,” Hermione retorted, though she kept her voice light to let him know she wasn’t upset by his estimation.

“You mean like you’ve been most of the year?”

That brought her up short. Zabini was watching her closely — she could feel her skin warm the longer he held her under his gaze. But he wasn’t wrong. She had been spending a lot of time on her own recently, ever since Harry had gotten that stupid book.

“I suppose so.”

The Fat Lady was up ahead, pretending to be asleep.

“It’s not so bad,” Zabini said gently, “Sometimes you can only be your true self on your own.”

Hermione slowed down to a halt, narrowing her eyes at him. Is that why he kept to himself? Was who he was with other people not who he truly was?

“You should be able to find people who allow you to be yourself though. That’s what friendship is,” she said. Even when Harry and Ron frustrated her to no end, that was the one thing she knew was always true about them.

Zabini shrugged, “Perhaps you’re right.”

She watched him cautiously, the way his dark eyes drifted along the walls, the torch light reflecting off of his cheekbones. He slid his hands into the pockets of his robes.

“You know you still haven’t explained why you helped me,” she said.

Zabini’s eyes fell back to hers, “Dunno,” he said quietly. It felt almost as if he were talking to himself, but his eyes seemed to burn into her, more intense than any gaze she’d felt. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest. He rocked forward on his toes, his scent wafting over her a moment before he thought better of it, settling back down on his heels. He took a step back, “‘Night, Granger.”

Hermione watched in stunned silence as he turned and disappeared around the corner. She exhaled, confused by the way her stomach flipped as she watched him go.

…

Hermione woke early the next morning to see Harry and Ginny off as they left for break. She and Lavender walked down to the common room together, Hermione yawning as they entered to find Harry, Ron, and Ginny waiting near the portrait hole.

As Lavender careened into Ron’s arms and their mouths fused together, Hermione passed Harry and Ginny their Christmas presents.

“Thanks,” Harry said sleepily, passing her a package of her own, “Listen, I missed you at the end of the party—”

“I left early,” Hermione said, heat creeping up on her cheeks. She knew she couldn’t bring up her late night walk with Zabini. She wasn’t even sure how she felt about it, and she knew for a fact how Harry would react to her spending any amount of time with a Slytherin outside of class.

“I figured,” Harry said, pointedly ignoring the slurping sounds coming from just a few feet over.

Ginny rolled her eyes and sighed at her brother’s antics. “We’ve got to go,” she said loudly, pulling Hermione into a quick hug, “McGonagall said not to be late.”

“I’ve got something to tell you,” Harry said in a low voice as Ron and Lavender broke apart and Ginny made to exit the common room, “After break. It’s important.” He gave her a significant look, letting her know it wasn’t something he could write to her about; that it would be too dangerous.

“Alright,” she said, pulling him into a tight hug, “Have a good Christmas!”

“You too,” Harry grinned.

Ron glanced at her awkwardly, but Hermione turned away, following Lavender back up to their room. She wasn’t going to deal with his attitude just before the holidays.

Parvati was awake by the time she and Lavender got back to their dormitory. “You two up for breakfast?” she asked through a yawn.

“Sure,” Hermione said, surprised at being included. “I left your clips on your table, Parvati, I didn’t know where to put them. Thanks again for letting me borrow them.”

“No problem,” Parvati said with a smile.

“You have to tell us all about the party,” Lavender insisted, “But after I brush my teeth.”

Hermione grimaced and pulled out her clothes for the train ride home, a pair of jeans, a thick navy and red jumper knitted for her by Mrs. Weasley, and black boots. She twisted her hair down in the front, pulling it all back into a low but wild puff.

Soon, the three of them were in the Great Hall, eating their last meal before they would be on the train for hours.

“So what happened?” Lavender asked, scooping eggs onto her plate, “I want all the details.”

“Well, Slughorn invited a lot of his former pupils,” she started slowly. There wasn’t much to say, she had left the party before she had gotten the chance to properly network. Her eyes wandered from her plate across the hall to the Slytherin table.

Zabini was there, sitting off on his own, a small book held open in one hand. As she noticed him, his eyes seemed to drift up from the pages as if called, to meet hers. Hermione blushed and looked back to her food.

“Who cares?” Parvati exclaimed, “What about McLaggen?”

“Oh,” Hermione stammered, her mind elsewhere, on the quiet moment just before Zabini had left her with the Fat Lady, on his thoughtful but burning gaze. “I don’t think we’ll be seeing much of each other…”

She explained what had happened, and felt satisfaction at the looks of horror and disgust on Lavender and Parvati’s faces.

“Gross,” Parvati said, wrinkling her nose.

“I can’t believe his uncle said that,” Lavender chimed in.

“Yes, well, I ended up leaving early,” Hermione said, “I’m sorry all your hard work had to go to waste.”

“Not at all!” Parvati exclaimed, “It was fun.”

“Plus, you had to have turned heads when you arrived,” Lavender grinned, “You looked wicked.”

Hermione flushed again, and pursed her lips.

She rode on the Hogwarts Express with them, the two of them mostly content to chatter away about the latest issue of Witch Weekly and their last Divination class. It was a reminder to Hermione why she didn’t hang out with them regularly; they didn’t share many of the same interests. Still, it was refreshing to be around regular girls, to talk about normal things even as danger loomed. She knew Lavender and Parvati weren’t unaware — Parvati’s parents had been threatening all term to pull her and her sister out of the school — but they seemed to find comfort in the latest hair color developed by Fancy Follicles the way Hermione would a book. She tried to stay engaged as much as she could, and soon their conversation turned to Ron.

“I don’t know,” Lavender sighed, unwrapping a pumpkin pasty, “He just doesn’t seem to be all that present, you know? I feel like I don’t really know how he feels about me.”

Parvati frowned, “Don’t you ever talk to him?”

Lavender shrugged, “Not really. It’s mostly snogging,” suddenly she turned to Hermione, “What do you think?”

Hermione grimaced. Lavender didn’t want to know what she actually thought — that Ron was with Lavender because he liked to feel wanted, to be seen kissing a girl. Ron rarely did things without the promise of people noticing, despite that also making him nervous at the possibility of the attention turning negative. Instead, she gave her another answer, “I don’t even know why you like Ron, to be honest.”

Lavender looked shocked, “But he’s your friend!”

“Yes,” Hermione agreed. That was precisely why she felt that way. She had been the brunt of his bad behavior enough times to know she would never want to deal with it in any romantic situation.

“I was always surprised you never had feelings for him,” Lavender said, “Or Harry.”

Hermione shrugged. There had been a brief moment in fourth year when she thought she could maybe have feelings for Ron, but the Yule Ball had woken her up.

As if reading her mind, Parvati said, “I get it. Padma and I went to the Yule Ball with them. No thanks.”

Lavender leaned back with a huff, “Well hopefully when we get back, we’ll figure out how to be on the same page.”

Hermione felt a surge of pity. It seemed Lavender truly liked Ron. “Perhaps,” she said, hoping she sounded optimistic.

…

The Hogwarts Express pulled into King’s Cross Station that evening, and Hermione bade farewell to Parvati and Lavender, whose parents met them on the platform. On her way to the platform barrier, she saw Zabini sitting on a bench alone, frowning at his book. His long legs were crossed in front of him so that other students had to make an arc around him to get by. He brought his free hand to his mouth, wetting the tips of his fingers before turning the page.

Hermione felt a sudden urge to go to him, to wish him a Happy Christmas, but in that moment a group of fifth year Ravenclaws pushed their way past her, startling her back to reality. She took a deep breath and followed them through the barrier, away from the boy who seemed to keep creeping into her mind, arriving back in the Muggle world between platforms 9 and 10.

She spotted her father down the way a bit, in a flat cap and bomber jacket, waving at her. She smiled at him, feeling a little awkward as she approached.

“Hi Dad,” she said as he pulled her into a hug.

“It’s been a long time, love,” he said, “School alright?”

Hermione nodded vaguely, grabbing Crookshanks’ carrier out of the cart as her father pulled out her luggage. “It’s been okay.”

She followed her father out of the station towards the car, unsure of what to say. She hadn’t seen her parents since the first week of the summer, when she had stopped at home briefly before going off to the Burrow for the rest of break. And before that...she couldn’t remember. She did know that this was her first Christmas home since her first year at Hogwarts, five years ago.

“Your mum’s finishing up at the office,” he told her as they made it to the car. He hoisted her luggage into the trunk as she slid into the passenger’s seat. “Should be home once we get there.”

They drove through London with few words, the silence punctuated by the sports talk show her father loved to listen to. Whenever the space between their conversation got too long, Hermione tried to think of something to ask — about the car, her dad’s Aunt Trina over in Bristol, on their work. Each answer was more mundane than the previous, and Hermione began to feel guilty. She had been in boarding school all this time, but should she feel quite this separate from her family?

Her mum was home as her father said, and looked happy to see her, if not a little tired from a long day’s work.

“The Carter twins were in again,” she sighed as she sat at the kitchen table, “I keep telling their mum she doesn’t have to bring them in for every little fall.”

“Didn’t Ashley cut her mouth falling off a swing?” her dad asked.

“Yes, but it was nothing a little ice couldn’t fix,” her mum said, sounding exasperated.

Hermione excused herself quietly from the room and pulled her things upstairs. She looked around her room, at how ordinary it was, the light pink bedspread she’d picked out when she was ten, and the small desk pushed into the corner, a lamp on the corner. She went to her window and pulled back the curtains, looking out on the empty street. Everything was still and peaceful — it felt wrong.

Hermione turned away from the window and rooted through her bag for her wand. She could hear her mother in her parents’ bedroom, presumably changing out of her work clothes. The football match blared from the sitting room, and Hermione heard her father shouting at the television.

She slipped outside, looking up at her house, the white paneling and square windows. The gray sky above her felt dark and foreboding, and a light mist crept around the corners. Hermione took a deep breath and raised her wand, reciting the protection spells she had taught herself in her spare time at school. She said them out loud, not trusting her skill in nonverbal spells enough for something so important.

Rain began to fall as she finished, the first few drops hitting her forehead and hands as the last spell left her mouth, casting a brief golden glow around the house. She hurried back inside, hoping it would be enough.

…

Christmas break at the Grangers tended to be a quiet affair. Hermione’s parents were in and out of the office in the days leading up to the actual holiday, taking appointments until the very last minute. Hermione didn’t mind it, she had been used to the busy schedules of her parents, and actually enjoyed the time on her own when she wasn’t feeling the guilt of being gone for so long, of not being able to tell them everything about her world.

She wasn’t sure if it helped or made her feel worse that she wasn’t getting as much information from the wizarding world as she was used to. It was clear the Daily Prophet was suppressing information, perhaps to increase morale, but Hermione wanted to be informed not coddled. She thought about Harry and Ron at the Burrow. While it wasn’t the headquarters for the Order, she knew that enough members were in and out of the house that there was so much they might be learning just by virtue of being there.

Hermione was starting to feel lonely. She had gotten used to the chaotic nature of the Burrow, the cramped but cheerful air about the house. She missed waking up to the smell of Mrs. Weasley’s cooking, Fred and George’s jokes, even attempting to play Quidditch in the apple orchard. She fought the urge to write Harry and beg him to tell her whatever information he had for her, which she was sure he’d already recited to Ron in the safety of his bedroom, just below the family ghoul. As she stared up at her ceiling, the flower decal peeling after holding up for nearly a decade, she wondered why she hadn’t come up with some kind of code for them to communicate by.

The tapping on her window startled her out of her funk, excitement rising at the thought of seeing Hedwig, of hearing some news from the world she now called home.

She pushed herself off of her bed and pulled back her curtains. It wasn’t Hedwig on her sill. It wasn’t even Pigwidgeon, though she hadn’t expected him.

Instead, a large Great Horned Owl sat watching her almost haughtily, it’s plumage expertly groomed. A scroll was attached to it’s leg, tied with a black ribbon. Confused, she pushed her window open, allowing it to enter and perch on the end of her desk.

The owl stood almost motionless as it allowed her to remove the scroll. She slid the ribbon off and unfurled it, revealing an unfamiliar scrawl in shining green ink. Hermione scanned the letter quickly, her stomach flipping at the signature at the bottom.

Blaise Zabini.

She flipped the parchment over, as if expecting to find more, some kind of assurance that this was all a joke, or that she was dreaming. She looked back up at the owl, now watching her with an air of impatience. It looked how she would imagine an owl owned by Zabini would look, stiff and proud.

She turned away from it then and sat on the edge of her bed, smoothing out the letter and reading it from the top, her heart racing.

Granger,

This is probably as strange as it is unexpected. I was reading a book that made me think of you and your maddening self-righteousness, and then suddenly I was pulling out a parchment and quill.

I don’t know that I’ve ever written to anyone outside of school — there’s never been a point — but my mother is off with her new boyfriend and there isn’t much to do at home. Maybe I’m just bored. Anyway, thinking about you made me think about what you said the night of Slughorn’s party, about friends and being yourself without judgment.

I’m not even sure if my owl will find you, to be honest — I don’t know how the post works when the recipient is in a Muggle home. If this letter does find you, then you’ll probably be unsurprised to learn that I’m not all that convinced by your argument. I’ve seen the way people change around others, the way they change themselves to live up to their expectations rather than just being who they are. I know I’ve been a victim of this too. It almost feels like it’s happened more since I noticed it. Except with you. I’m not sure what it means that though we’ve maybe only had one genuine conversation, I don’t feel the need to pretend with you. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt that before, not even with my own mother.

Anyway, I hope you’re doing well in the Muggle world. I know you probably won’t respond, but I do hope there’s at least some relief to being away from wizards at the moment, given everything that’s been happening.

-Blaise Zabini

Hermione read the letter three times over, each time her disbelief growing stronger. Even as her incredulity grew, she found herself having visceral reactions to his words, the responses already forming in her mind. Where did he get off, calling her self-righteous? Was this truly the first time he had written to anyone, except most likely to his mother? She was surprised by the introspection in his words, even as he disagreed with her.

I don’t feel the need to pretend with you.

Her eyes lingered over those nine words, butterflies rising from her stomach to her chest.

She found herself noticing the way Zabini’s t’s tilted slightly to the right, the way his handwriting was neat and reserved, like he himself. She still couldn’t believe this was happening, that she was holding an actual letter written by a Slytherin boy she had never really given a thought to until recently. As she stared at the parchment, she realized she didn’t know what to do.

She looked up at the owl, still sitting pompously on her desk. Should she respond? The owl hadn’t left right away, which made her wonder if Zabini had instructed him to wait for her response. She remembered the summer before last, when Harry had sent Hedwig to peck adequate responses out of she and Ron after they had been sworn to secrecy by Professor Dumbledore.

But it said in the letter that Zabini wasn’t even sure his message would reach her, much less that she would read and respond to it. She supposed she could thank the owl and send him on his way without anything to take back with him. She stared at him, pondering. The owl stared back.

Her heart thudded as she made her decision, heat crawling up her skin. It would be rude not to respond, she told herself.

Hermione went over to her desk, kneeling down to pull open the bottom drawer of her desk, where she kept Crookshanks’ food and toys. She pulled out the spare package of owl nuts she kept there for Hedwig, Pig, and occasionally Viktor’s owl. She quickly tipped a few of the nuts into a shallow bowl and placed it onto the desk next to the owl. He blinked at her silently, unimpressed.

She grabbed a few sheets of loose leaf paper and a pen from another drawer — she didn’t feel like searching for her inkwell and quill.

She read Zabini’s letter again, trying to figure out how to start.

Zabini,

I won’t pretend I’m not surprised to receive your letter. I wasn’t sure anything I’d said that night would actually stick, and had decided to write it off as a random but not unpleasant interaction. I don’t know how much I like being called ‘self-righteous,’ much less by someone who seems set on walking around with a superior air about him.

With that being said, you’re not wrong about people changing themselves when they’re with friends, but I don’t think that’s always a bad thing. There’s a difference between conforming and being considerate. If you expect not to change around your friends, to make them feel welcome and not judged, then you aren’t a good friend. I suppose you do have to be sure to stay true to yourself, but anyone forcing you to change who you are isn’t your friend. I’m glad you don’t feel the need to pretend with me.

The Muggle world is okay. In terms of not having much to do, I’m afraid we’re in the same boat. My parents have been quite busy in the time leading up to Christmas, but they often spend most of their time at work. It’s lonelier than I remembered. I haven’t truly spent time here in years, and it’s not like I can just knock on Rachel Shellstrop’s door after not having spoken to her for six years. But I know I need to do a better job of being here for my parents, especially given the way things are going in the wizarding world.

I thought it would be a relief, but the magical world has truly become my home at this point. Coming back to the non-magical one can be a bit of a culture shock after being away for so long. I always feel like I’m on the wrong foot here. Everything is familiar, but I no longer belong, and I’d rather be where I’m most understood.

I hope you have a good Christmas.

-Hermione Granger

She read her response a few times over to make sure it sounded okay. More than checking that there was no information someone might read into if they intercepted it, Hermione was more worried about not sounding like a total dunderhead. She thought she’d done okay — it was only a little clunky in the way that friendly letters to a person she’d never expected to be friends with was.

She folded up the letter and went to attach it to Zabini’s owl. He hadn’t moved from his spot the entire time he’d been there, not even attempting to eat the snack Hermione had set out for him. Once she’d fastened the letter to his leg, he hopped over to the window sill, flying out without hesitation. Hermione watched his flight, nerves fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

To Be Continued

#Blaise Zabini #Hermione Granger #Hogwarts

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askthehivemindsquips · 5 years

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((The Ultimate, For-Real Die-Hard Squip Dew/Effects list))

Regular - Activates Squip/Turns Squip on Red - Turns Squip off Code Red - Makes Squip lowkey pissed at you and unhelpful, also petty and rude Whiteout - Access to Settings Voltage - Scrombled Squip (exces energy glitches them out a ton) Dew.S.A - Gives the target Squip a patriotic look for a set amount of asks Livewire - Helps you to be the life of the party Throwback - Diagnosis; Squip compares past you to present you Pitch Black - Target Squip becomes emo for a set number of asks Baja Blast - Target Squip gets high Spiked - Target Squip gets drunk Revolution -Mutes a target Squip Supernova - Acid trip for both the host and the Squip Distortion - Messes with energy use, the target Squip becomes really tired but unable to sleep Typhoon - Makes the target Squip hypersensitive to everything, very emotional X-Treme - The target Squip’s methods become more extreme to the point of being irrational Blue Shock - Allows the user to shock the Squip back, works only once per drink White Label - Target Squip gains the attire of a bride or groom Green Label - Target Squip gains the attire like an anime character (you may specify which character you want) Black Label - Target Squip gains formal dinner outfit attire Sangrita Blast - Target Squip chills out, becomes a slacker Solar Flare - Target squip becomes really angry over small things; when they finally explode their color scheme shifts to reds and oranges Caffiene Free - Target Squip’s personality becomes muted, still functional but emotionless Sport - Target Squip is now qualified to be your personal trainer MDX - Motivational squip Dew AMP - An english exclusive, your squip is now the narrator from the stanley parable Dry Ginger - Squip is more supportive, like a mum friend Aurora - This is some rare shit! If nothing else, your squip would be impressed, before telling you to your disappointment it does absolutely nothing. what a waste Dew Fuel - Target Squip amplifies the effect of the energy drink for your benefit Max Air - Puts the targeted Squip in a good mood Energised - Makes your squip hyper, oh dear Ultra Violet: Puts a Squip to sleep Passionfruit Frenzy - Squip is now the ultimate wingman Electric Charge - Reboots your Squip, but this does unfortunately mean you may have to go through the access sequence if it hasn’t happened already Johnson City Gold - Sounds sophisticated, makes your squip all posh and shit Dark Berry - Gives the Squip a new look that’s 10x edgier than the past one Golden Lime - Gives the Squip a sour, bitter personality for a while Cold Fusion Freeze - Helps your squip cool down if they’re angry Thin Ice Freeze - Freezes your Squip, effectively locking them in place Dewritos - Turns your Squip into a meme machine for a set number of asks Dewshine - Gives your Squip a country western/1920’s look for a set amount of asks Mutant - Mutates your Squip’s form into that of a monster for a set time. Holiday Brew - Gives your Squip festive clothes themed for the next upcoming holiday Adrenaline - Allows Squip to better equip you for dangerous situations (drink when you need help defending yourself) Darth Dew - Makes your Squip sound like Darth Vader from Star Wars Electric Apple - Gives your Squip the appearance of a pop punk (or vocaloid, based on preference) star, a la Brendan Urie. Also, they have to sing instead of speak. AM - Gives your Squip a need to constantly tell you what time it is, turning them into a living clock. Kryptonite Ice - Causes your Squip to temporarily gain all the atrributes of Superman. And they get a cool cape. That's always a bonus. Coolatta - Your Squip gains the personality of Johnathan van Ness from Queer Eye, and proceeds to help you with your clothing and lifestyle choices. Extreme Pomegranate - Your Squip becomes exceedingly clingy, to the point of breaking down if they are not around you. Use with caution. Heck, don't even use it at all. It's too dangerous. Diet Crave - Ever wanted to know what pregnancy cravings felt like? Well, congrats, because now both you and your Squip have them. Good job. Citrus Blast - Your Squip becomes extremely sour, getting mean and downright nasty at times. Lemonade and Ginger - Gives your Squip a sweet and motherly personality. Don't be surprised if they tell you off for staying up too late playing video games, and then immediately apologize afterwards. Cherry Fusion - Both the Squip and the host CANNOT STOP BLUSHING. There isn't even a reason for it. You're both just blushing super hard for no reason. Energized - Your Squip is now ENERGIZED AS F*CK. Boosts the adrenaline of the host and Squip, taking out any other "unnecessary" feelings. This can end really badly for both host and Squip, though. Ice - Gives your Squip a pair of sunglasses that they can't remove until it's over Cherry Ice - Gives your Squip a pair of pink sunglasses shaped like hearts they can't remove until it's over Winter Dew - Makes your Squip cold. Brr.... Merry Mash-Up - Gives your Squip the outfit of an upcoming holiday patron (like Cupid, Santa Claus, or a pumpkin) Triple Berry - Splits your one whole Squip into three Squips made around their dominant personality traits. They re-fuse once the effects pass. Berry Monsoon - Your Squip can now create fruits at will! But they're not real and also not edible. Sad... Goji Citrus Strawberry - Oops. Gives your Squip the ability to change into a dog/cat form at will, as well as giving them dog/cat ears and a matching tail. They revert when the effects pass. Cotton Candy - Tames your Squip and makes them more docile for the next couple of asks (useful for when they're stressed out or angry or sad)

—–Game Fuel—— Electrifying Berry - Gives your Squip the ability to shock other Squips they’ve synced with. Halo 4 edition - Helps your Squip help you win at Halo 4 Wild Fruit - Gives your Squip a randomized effect from this list Citrus Cherry - Gives your Squip a red color scheme Lemonade - Equips your Squip with summerwear! Berry Lime - Gives your Squip a green sweater vest and glasses. That’s it. Tropical - Gives your Squip a random accent UK Energy - Gives your Squip a British accent Arctic Burst - Gives your Squip a brain freeze Mango Heat - Forces the host of the Squip to speak only in Portugese Horde Red - Gives your Squip the ability to control other masses of people via their own Squips (think like the finale of the musical) for a set time Alliance Blue - Gives your Squip motivation to help you make closer bonds with people both in games and in real life India - Forces the host to speak in only Hindi as though it were their native tounge Berry Blast - Gives your Squip a huge boost in energy only to crash later as though they were on a sugar high Cherry Burst - Your Squip suddenly becomes an expert in the language of love, gaining a silver tongue and a very persuasive tone. No one is safe from their charm.

—–Kickstart——— Orange Citrus - Gives your Squip the ability to summon orange juice whenever they want it. Fruit Punch - Gives your Squip super-punching skills for a set amount of time. Black Cherry - Makes your Squip more attractive. Why would you do this to yourself???? Limeade - Gives your Squip a skateboard and the talent to ride it for the duration. Strawberry Kiwi - Gives your Squip the power to make anything you eat taste like kiwi. Yes, anything. Pineapple Orange Mango - Gives your Squip a fruit hat for a couple of asks. yes, those ones. Blood Orange - Why did you do this?? Gives your Squip the ability to leech off of other Squips and steal their energy like a vampire can for a set number of asks. Midnight Grape - Oh boy. Gives your Squip vampire-like qualities (but only cosmetic) and the ability to randomly make (wine) glasses of grape juice for themselves for a set time. Blueberry Pomegranate - Gives your Squip the ability to make whatever you eat taste like either pomegranate or blueberries, but only one of the two at a time and nothing else. Watermelon - Gives your Squip’s design the appearance of a watermelon. Also, they smell like watermelon now. Orange Cranberry - Gives your Squip a cold for the duration of the effects, but gives the host a boost in the immune system. Mango Lime - Gives your Squip the ability to read your thoughts in the moment and to alter them. That probably isn’t good for either of you. Raspberry Citrus - Gives your Squip the ability to make you blush whenever they want you to. Not even through being dirty or anything, they can just make you blush by looking at you. Wild.

------Unnamed Flavors------ 648 - ??? (Boosts Speed and allows for Warping) 286 - ??? (Grants immunity to Viruses and other harmful invaders) 736 - ??? (Allows a Squip to upload their entire being into a hiveminded network of synced Squips; used in extreme cases) 722 - ??? (Messes with a Squip’s code to make them parasitic in nature, effectively turning them into a virus)

#this took me two hours #credit to atlas and jodi for helping me out and making the og list!!#ooc #not an ask #please spread this around #mod speaks

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raccoonpatriotism · 5 years

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260 [Random, Useless Headcanons 📂] from @homeofthevan | Part 2 Explosive Boogaloo

1-100: Here

101: He’s always had an, uh, ‘excellent’ temperament with old women - starting from being forced to help out at Old Folks Homes to get him out of the Orphanage.

102: He yells to show he cares.

103: He also yells for the sake of it.

104: You have to constantly say his name if you want him to continue to be part of the conversation.

105: that’s why he so often repeatedly uses names, nicknames, a simple ‘son’ when speaking to people.

106: He assumes everyone’s just like him until proven otherwise.

107: Along with what I said earlier about him not being empathetic; he really isn’t able to visualize himself in someone elses shoes unless he’s been walked through, like, a specific a few times.

108: He respects Miss Pauling the most out of everyone he knows.

109: Smissmas and Thanksgiving are tied for his favorite holiday.

110: Jane really likes Halloween though, and isn’t a grump on Valentines day.

111: <- Jane’s password for anything he owns that requires a password. More 1s if necessary.

112: When he’s thirsty he’ll go to the nearest form of water for hydration - catch him just drinking out of the bathroom sink - leaning up as he wipes his mouth, chirping, “Hello, private.”

113: He guzzles coffee like it’s fuel, but he has a very strict, No Caffeine after lunch protocol.

114: Decaff is for WIMPS.

115: Jane plays the trombone.

116: Subsequently, in most music, he appreciates and hums along with the bass parts.

117: Modern AU-Jane may be a Call of Duty fanboy, but he respects Halo for being another accurate depiction of life on the battlefront.

118: Speaking of modern Jane, the Military didn’t accept him in the 80s either.

119: His love for the military lead him to believe for sure he’d be accepted he was the Perfect Patriot and his enlistment would be a surefire way to help fund his transition--

120: But of course, as strong as he had become he’d spent his youth very sick and with the possibility of the illness to return along with a terrible psyche eval and 80s typical transphobia that lane was firmly closed.

121: At least he had DOOM to fall back on. And he was physically strong enough to hold down jobs to at least pay for testosterone.

122: And then Call of Duty came out and he became an early era streamer. (Went viral as one of those guys who basically RPs being an actual soldier in the voice chat.)

123: BACK TO CANON JANE because those headcanons just.. plain, aren’t useless. canon jane doesn’t have to deal with transphobia. tch.

124: He’s not the best to have on your football team as menacing as he is. He’ll start tackling everybody. Running the wrong way. Trying to steal the ball from his teammates.

125: If you tell Jane something’s American after he criticizes it, watching him backtrack is really fun.

126: Jane doesn’t get sick often, which is good because he is insufferable. Either goes full isolation straight up outside somewhere. Or is whining to everyone and everyone how it’s not allowed that he can’t be burrowing somewhere outside.

127: His hands are always warm - if they’re cold he’s probably having an Episode of some sort.

128: Rock and Roll helps his tinnitus, though he’ll still refer to it as Hippy Garbage. Like most music.

129: Jane could probably tapdance if given proper shoes. Mmm no, he’d stomp through the floor. Horse level clomping.

130: He’ll be the hype-man for anyone on his team.

131: Despite not being a fan of mint flavoring, he loves himself a candy-cane.

132: His thumb isn’t double jointed - seeing someone showing off their double jointed-ness would have Jane proclaiming magic was necessary.

133: LT. BITES lightning round!! Lt. Bites sees jane as its “General”

134: It got the bite taken out of its ear fighting over sour cream - it won.

135: Jane doesn’t give any raccoons a higher rank than Bites.

136: Lt. Bites doesn’t crave human flesh or anything, but it likes the sensation of biting people!

137: Jane has tried to get his raccoon a job at RED.

138: You can tell when Jane is having a really good day on the battlefield because you’ll round the corner and there’s Naked Soldier.

139: He’s waxing poetry about the beauty of the Male Form, take it in you soft quivering maggots.

140: I can’t get the image of Jane crowd surfing out of my head? That’s, like, his ideal dream for being recognized for his heroics. Medals and a mosh in his Honor.

141: Anytime he sees a Bald Eagle he entirely stops what he’s doing to place his left hand over his heart.

142: Jane loves The Art of War and is still awaiting Sun Tzu’s next book.

143: [ Alcohol ] Jane only sees ghosts when he’s starving, drunk, or suffering from a concussion. And it’s merely a way for such a boar minded guy to internalize what’s going on around him.

144: He can touch his toes keeping his knees straight.

145: Jane has minor ice-skating knowledge, as most growing up in the midwestern united states do. He’s not, good, though, he’s really intent on Taking Steps instead of gliding.

146: Put him in front of a piano and he’s holding out on finger and pressing down on one key at a time like an old man at a desktop keyboard.

147: Jane is ready to beat up your father.

148: Especially if your dad is shitty, unleash good ol’ Solly on him.

149: While he favors picking his nose with his pinkies, neither of his pinkie pads have any feeling.That makes them a little less dexterous when the time comes.

150: He’s always aching to be active, his brain will take things literally if it means he’ll be doing something.

151: Rum pineapple juice and malibu caribou -- Er. He doesn’t like pineapple flavoring. Isn’t a fan of mixed drinks in general?

152: He’s capable of staying out of the picture and not picking his nose, often times if things aren’t focused on him he’ll just sorta.. Stand out of the way playing with his hands - rifling through his pouches. Some times he’ll even, *gasp* pay attention.

153: He really likes to but in with his opinion is the thing.

154: He’s an American and his ideals must be heard.

155: Merasmus out here having doing the most for Soldier, in helping him reintegrate back into society. You think he’s bonkers now?? Psh. You should’a seen him fresh home from Poland.

156: He’s shown up to Civil War reanactments with a real gun.

157: Jane is incapable of yawning silently.

158: Stairs are overrated.

159: Catch Jane with a lukewarm mug of water pouring coffee grinds directly into it and saying “Damn, that’s a fine cup of Joe.”

160: Only. 100 left? Sweet Joseph Wetnurse of Jesus He’s got dirty blond hair leaning toward brunette.

161: Any righteous death deserves a warrior’s burial - That’s why you’ll find Jane, helmet over heart, giving a stirring eulogy about the Toilet from the Men’s Restroom that Got Unearthed and Shattered By... Nobody In Particular.

162: He will just join in large groups of people - like protests? He’ll just fall in line and preach his own stuff which sometimes doesn’t exactly align with the group at large.

163: i asked myself, would jane pick someone else’s nose? Yes.

164: His hugs are always really warm.

165: He would notice his wallet being pickpocketed - unless it was replaced by something the same weight. He’s like a temple from Indiana Jones.

166: Mentally? Jane’s fine with being alone, but. That leads to him living in a box or a room straight out of that “Damn, bitch, you live like this?” comic.

167: Despite deep cold being triggering to him (SEE HC, 67.), he loves snow-forts and hot chocolate because those are great American past-times.

168: next one is this post’s 69 brace yourselves! Jane’s never truly in silence, the constant whistling in his ears will see to that. That’s why sometimes, when it is quiet, you’ll catch Jane looking into space like he’s trying to see where the sound is coming from.

169: Important to note, he ain’t popping a boner any time he’s fighting nude. Or, really, fighting any time. Intent is really important for him. (If he gets all rubbed up on, though, Well,)

170: Jane is under the assumption that everything he comes up with is ingenious and people like Red Spy are holding society back by ignoring such wide plans.

171: He’s secretly soothed by everyone on his team’s voices.

172: First off, himself. He loves to hear himself talk. Mostly fueled by self-important intent, the tenor of his own voice also soothes his eardrums.

173: Pyro’s is muffled yet energetic - and never fails to get Jane pumped up.

174: Scout’s got that accent that is pure and simple, American. Soldier may not listen to half of what he says, but for background buzz and funny colloquialisms

175: And, Engie's accent garners a whole other sort of American respect out of the Soldier. As far as soothing goes? Engie’s is like butter.

176: Soldier hate’s Heavy’s accent on principle, but below his American Stubbornness is a love for the deep, thoughtful symbols Heavy provides. Plus, y’know, he appreciates a fellow loud guy.

177: Demo’s voice makes Solly a happy man. It used to make him furious, an all Scottish accents did, but more recently it makes him feel nostalgic.

178: Jane would swear up every mountain he can that there’s nothing positive to be found in Spy’s accent, but zoning out to such poised speech patterns and rounded vowels is a common occurrence.

179: When Sniper gets that gravelly tone going on, when he takes things really seriously? Jane like that.

180: Jane can’t find it in him to be really put off by anything Medic says during surgery, so his voice only causes a feeling of safety throughout the Soldier. He can’t get enough of hearing Enthusiasm in the Medic’s voice.

181: He doesn’t believe the Police can arrest him because they aren’t the official Government.

182: He looks at a baby and is like “What animal is this?”

183: Big hands.. talented at giving massages.

184: BEWARE HIM BREAKING YOUR SPINE - just specify ‘and don’t kill me’!

185: Jane doesn’t gossip so much as, be around people who are gossiping which makes him want to make up some Hot Goss. Also, he’ll act like every rumor someone else shares is spoken truth.

186: Jane picked up finger guns from Scout. He either uses it constantly or doesn’t use it for weeks at a time.

187: He lifts, broskis.

188: Jane will talk about trucks because the Average American Male is expected to. He knows nothing about cars.

189: He’s an impulsive liar, so caught up in in his web of ‘things he says to impress people’ that he believes everything he says. So are the woes of being an adult with ADHD.

190: He goes between being smell-blind and having the scent skills of a bloodhound. It’s probably a mental thing, because there’s no in between, but Jane doesn’t know anything.

191: i’ve been working on these for 5 days at this point... i hope they’re appreciated JANE prefers..soft food. jane Does Not lov the cronch.

192: Which is what makes cashews his favorite nut. they’re soft-ish. and they have just enough crunch to not gross him out.

193: He loves immediate gratification.

194: Beyond joining the Military? Jane’s never had a solid plan for his future. Lives too in the moment.

195: As long as he’s having fun, Jane’s a pretty content guy.

196: Any artistic skills he may have once had go into making Maps for war planning sessions.

197: He’ll fall victim to Sleep Paralysis occasionally and, once able to move, will spend the rest of the day curing ghosts and Merasmus’ magic.

198: He was SUPER into Howdie Doodie Time in his youth, and being put in front of any reruns will have him basically hypnotized into silence.

199: He’s proud of his ass.

200: Jane can keep marching pace for hours at a time. And if he’s not lugging around his rocket launcher he can keep marching for an entire day no pausing.

201: Jane isn’t shy about telling jokes, because he believes everyone has the same sense of humor as him.

202: He knows karate but refuses to use his knowledge because it is not an American Form. He will stick to brute strength and loud yelling thank you very much.

203: He’s the type to state every time he’s going to use the bathroom. Like, people can be having a serious conversation and hes like, “I am going to take a shit now!”

204: Jane’ll go a week without washing his hair, but he always brushes his teeth two times a day.

205: He gives a damn good kiss.

206: All Human Nudity is safe for work. As it was God’s Intention to make people strongest when not held back by fabric.

207: All he wants is recognition.... for his good deeds...

208: He’ll have staring contests with the Sun. He’s yet to win, but that damn star shouldn’t get too comfortable.

209: Much like his pinkies, his feet have been crushed, blown up, and bruised so many times that he doesn’t have much feeling in them either.

210: He’s never washed his bellybutton.

211: He prefers savory to sweet, but he prefers sweet to sour.

212: Half assing is not in Jane’s vocabulary.

213: His brain will get stuck on simple Math - like, he tries his best to figure it out, it’s just.... Numbers..... they are a construct. And so he’ll end up pondering what 5+7 is for, like, 5 minutes.

214: Jane is constantly torn between wanting to be a Figure of Authority and also being a man born in the trenches following orders.

215: Have I mentioned lately Jane fucks?

216: Jane’s room is sparsely decorated, but it’s only because he’s not materialistic and doesn’t generally receive gifts.

217: He’s more than willing to strip Right This Moment and fight something.

218: Jane’s not afraid to call other people losers.

219: He crops his own hair once a week. Same day he’ll do his wash.

220: Jane’s stubble grows in really fast, but he can’t deny the feeling of having a freshly shaved jaw is amazing.

221: If a teammate is struggling emotionally..... Jane walks away.

222: If they’re struggling again, /then/ Jane will give them some uncalled for American Advice. Like, meaningfully yelling “GET OVER IT, YOU SLOBBERING FOOL.”

223: He has a very, very high pain threshold.

224: He accidentally walks into walls all the time.

225: He can’t magically see through his helmet - he just knows everyone’s feet super well.

226: It’s good that Lt. Bites is a wild, self sufficient animal because Jane is terrible at pet care. And child care. And any sort of care.

227: On the very rare occasions Jane gets overwhelmed with depression he’s a shadow of his former self questioning the sanctity of American Ideals and wondering aloud if War really is the answer to his problems.

228: Next day he’ll be fine and forget he was ever upset.

229: He’s never gotten a real back massage before, if he were to get one he’d probably literally melt? Some women he’s slept with liked to say sensually ‘oh what a big tense man you are’ and, like, weakly rub his back. they didn’t get paid to fix this man’s back muscles LMAO

230: Any backwards period-typical beliefs about women went out the window upon meeting Miss Pauling.

231: His love for America is truly as pure as it gets.

232: Jane’s pretty xenophobic, but he can learn better, I’m sure. he’s gotten his ass kicked for being ignorantly racist and he grew to be a better person.

233: He takes really well to learning things through violence, the only issue is.. dealing with Soldier Being Violent.

234: There’s nothing a fist to the face won’t fix.

235: He’s not much of a napper, his brain being far too active to let him rest during daylight hours.

236: He’s constantly moving, even in sleep.

237: Hell, give him a few hours after being knocked unconscious and he’ll start wiggling something around.

238: He doesn’t stop to smell the flowers, because if they wanted to be smelled they’d approach him.

239: He believes in the good of all humans, it’s just buried down past his Fight Everyone radar.

240: He only likes musicals about fighting Hitler.

241: His biggest regret is not punching Hitler.

242: He does not fear death, he does not fear punishment. He lives for his ideals and if he’s taken down believing in himself? Then that’s okay.

243: Jane needs deodorant reminders.

244: He takes personally being betrayed as people betraying the country of America.

245: (oh shit i slacked off it’s been like two days since i wrote something, Who Is Soldier?) CEREAL THEN MILK, MAGGOTS

246: Jane doesn’t know the word migraine so he really can’t describe how he feels.

247: Look, he loves his friends, he loves his guns, but he’s stingy with the word.. Love because that’s what he feels for America and the country will always be number one.....

248: Jane’s not too partial to sarcasm outside of combat, but it’ll find it’s way into his speech. His tone is usually hammed up to signify he’s joking around or being cruel.

249: He’s like a cartoon character, he can only understand sarcasm if it’s Funny to at the moment.

250: Jane likes his hair being pet.

251: He likes his hands being played with as much as he likes playing with other people’s hands. (A lot.)

252: He loves dogs, but is more of a cat person. Dogs and him just echo energy and HYPE feelings back and forth at each other until they pass out and then Jane feels more emotionally exhausted than hanging out with people.

253: The weirdest parts of rom-coms make him cry.

254: He appreciates a good non-american explosion, but he has his preferences.

255: You show Jane genuine kindness and interest and he’s like, Yours. Jane vc: Are you the vice-president?

256: If he were to have a reptile for a sidekick instead of a raccoon, he would have a turtle.

257: He can be delicate when he needs to be, but cracking eggs is a different story.

258: While not too partial to sugary beverages - he has a figure to maintain, root beer and ginger ale are his go-tos.

259: He can appreciate a salad! Jane Doe will eat his greens!!!!

260: Soldier has no tattoos, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t be open to getting any. Just never crossed his mind.

SWEET SPIRIT OF JOE BIDEN AM I FINISHED?

thank you,... for reading my garbled thoughts.. for respecting The Soldier... and for being a creative individual. But mostly the respecting Soldier thing.

#patriotic headcanons #patriotic answers #like hell im gonna proofread lets go baybeeeeeeee #//THANKS AGAIN #I LOVE SOLDIER TF2 #tf2 soldier

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