#yes the quote is from his introduction

[air30]

‘HiMERU defies all obstacles. Even you will be captivated by HiMERU.’

How could I not draw HiMERU? Also, have y’all seen his new limited card - because oh my goodness it’s beautiful. I’m definitely gonna get it. (thankfully it’s an event card because my gacha luck is non existent)

#himeru #ensemble stars #enstars #crazy:b #ensemble stars music #my art #yes the quote is from his introduction #AirArt

[guardarecheluna]

You know, i’ve been your baby since the day that we met. (CEO!H)

Words: 8k

Warnings: Pathetic Fluff, Smut (Praise, P in V, Oral, slight daddy kink)

Summary: Harry is bewitched by her, and he would do absolutely anything to make her happy, even though she sometimes doesn’t want him to.

READ THE FIRST CEO ONE SHOT HERE!

A/N: Hellooo my loves! It's been a little while, but now i'm here with a lil CEO update since you all seemed to enjoy him last time. Please let me know what you think of it, it always makes my day to hear from you!

elle x

It was almost like Harry couldn’t remember a life before her. She had filled the bottomless hole in his heart with her warmth, humour, cleverness and love like it was the most simple thing in the world. Harry had never been so happy.

It’s been just 5 months since that night in Harry’s lounge, where his clammy hands were shaking, searching for hers. Where he bared his heart before her, and hoped, hoped that she’d at least tell him she didn’t hate him. Y/N could never hate Harry. Sometimes, when she comes to think about it, she feels absolutely crazy when it comes to him. Like she can’t believe that he is hers. Like maybe she was made just for him. Like maybe they were meant to meet when she started working for Pleasing.

Harry had kept telling her how hard he fell, that he felt like he was jumping from a plane without a parachute, blindly falling and hoping to be caught in his lover’s arms. Harry fell hard, but Y/N fell first.

Y/N’s interview had went better than she ever could’ve expected. It was just the day before that she was asked to Pleasing’s office to do an interview for a position as a senior creative. She left the interview happy and pleased with herself, but honestly?

She couldn’t tell if it was because she had actually done well for the interview, or if it was the Harry-shaped opening in her heart that was slowly cracking her open. The tall brunette had been so kind to her throughout the interview, even offering her a coffee beforehand.

As her first day a Pleasing came and went, Y/N tried to gather up her things from her new office to head home. It had been a wild day, introductions to new people, online courses to help her with their IT systems and endless and absolutely endless pining for her new boss. She could swear that she had never met anyone like him, and especially not a CEO who acted like he did with his colleagues. Harry had this softness to him, almost feminine at times, but with a strong masculine cologne, broad shoulders and deep, gravely voice. He emitted a light and kindness that was difficult to describe if you hadn’t met him. He was like a magnet.

Y/N was sure that if you were to google the definition of kindness, a picture of Harry Styles would pop up on the first page. Don’t quote her on that, though.

Harry had checked on her multiple times during the day, taken her and a few other colleagues out for lunch as a “celebration” he said. He really didn’t act like any other CEO she had met.

“Hey, are you still here? Thought your day ended at five, you must be exhausted.” Harry was doing a final round in the offices. Y/N was the last one left, just wanting to land back on her feet and feel her surroundings after a long first day. She thought she’d be the last one out, but Harry was there as well. Of course he was. Y/N snapped her head up, looking at him. He had almost scared her with his quiet steps into her office space. “Jesus, Harry, you scared me!” Y/N scrunched her eyes shut, putting her hand over her pumping heart. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t resist, I didn’t mean to scare ye’ though.” Harry said with a smirk. Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “Didn’t mean to, huh? Don’t believe it for a second.” She said, throwing him a suspicious look, but with a smile; she just couldn’t help it. Harry chuckled. “You’ll just have to believe that I’m a kind enough person to not scare away the new employee on the first day, I don’t know what to tell you.” Harry hit back, slight ironic cockiness in his voice.

Y/N just smiled and continued packing up her laptop and the pamphlets she’d gotten from HR, along with a few papers that needed to be signed.

Y/N almost couldn’t look at him without having butterflies erupting in her stomach. Call her stupid, insane, mentally weak, but she could feel a serious crush coming on. Scratch that, it isn’t coming on, it’s already there, burning in her belly and begging to seen and heard.

Or another time, around a month into working for Pleasing when Y/N had knocked on Harry’s office door, almost in tears.

Maybe it sounded dramatic, but getting used to a new workplace, new routines and IT systems; Y/N would find herself frustrated and she hated bothering her colleagues with her questions every 5 minutes.

Y/N knocked on the glass door, her jaw strained and aching with how much she was trying to keep it together.

Harry opened the door, stepping aside. “Hey there, darling. You alright?” He said as he nodded his head to give her a cue to step inside.

He looked so good that day, in one of pristine, ironed suits. The first few buttons were undone, and a fine dusting of hair was peeking out of the shirt as well as the tattoos on his chest that Y/N hadn’t gotten to see the full version of. His lips were chapped, like he had picked on the skin in his anxious thoughts. Y/N swallowed harshly, stepping inside and plopping down on the sofa in his office. “I need your help.” She just said, looking up at him, holding on to her frustrated tears.

Harry could tell she wasn’t her chirpy, flirty and smug self, his heart suddenly feeling gooey and yelling at him to sit down and embrace her.

“Anything, I’m glad you came. What do you need, pet?” Harry said as he closed the door and sat opposite her on another sofa. He was leaning forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“I just…I feel frustrated because there’s so many things I don’t have the hang of yet and I hate being a bother to everyone and asking questions all the time. It’s either that I don’t fucking get it or it’s because there’s suddenly new things and I can’t seem to keep up.” She said, her eyes stuck on the cushions Harry was sitting on, afraid that she’d break if she looked right at him.

Harry was quiet for a good while, anxiety washing over Y/N when he wouldn’t answer. She braced herself for some kind of lashing out. She knew he wasn’t like any other boss, but maybe coming to him with this was a mistake, a showcasing of her weakness that would be the end of her time at Pleasing.

“Sorry…I-“ She started before Harry spoke up.

“Darling, don’t ever apologise. You need to go easy on yourself, you’ve been here for just a month and there’s a lot to learn, you don’t have to do everything at once, that’s impossible. I’m really glad you came to me, of course I’ll help you with anything I can.” Harry said softly. Y/N relaxed into her seat, feeling almost dumb for thinking he’d lash out at her. She nodded, finally looking up at him, to find him searching her eyes and smiling kindly. “Thank you, H, I just, I know it’s a competitive business, and I don’t want to ever let you down just because I can’t figure out fucking excel.” She chuckled.

Harry laughed and shook his head. “As if you could ever let me down.” He said under his breath, almost like she wasn’t meant to hear it. “Let’s get to it, then, come sit down next t’me and pull out your laptop.”

Harry had arranged a small get away weekend for the two of them. Coming up on almost 6 months, they were yet to go on a trip together, and Harry wanted nothing more than some quality time with his girl. His girl.

He had spent two weeks trying to plan everything down to the food they were going to cook, to what activities they could do to keep them occupied.

Harry had booked them a cabin in the woods, by a small lake. It was around a three-hour drive from London, which was perfect for going away for a weekend.

A weekend where it would be just the two of them, no distractions of phones or other people, just them. Harry was so excited, struggling to keep it a secret when all he wanted was to spill all the details and spoil Y/N with insight into all his plans, but he kept his mouth shut.

They had already agreed to spend the weekend together at Harry’s, so naturally, they’d drive home together after work on Friday. Harry was driving, one hand on the wheel, and the other finding Y/N’s over the centre consol. Fingers lightly tracing knuckles and palms while Harry had their playlist on in the background.

Y/N sat up slightly and her eyebrows furrowed when she realized that they were going towards her apartment instead, and not his.

“I thought we were staying at yours this weekend?”

Harry laughed, the plan in his head was turning out just the way he wanted it to. He parked the car outside of her building. “Get out with me.” He said, meeting her when he rounded the car. His hands reached out and gripped her jaw, placing a few small pecks on her pink lips. Confusion was still prominent on her face. “We’re going to go upstairs, and you’re going to pack a bag for a weekend away. I didn’t want to say anything, ‘cause I wanted it to be a surprise.” He smiled. Y/N melted into his touch. “Are you serious, where are we going?” Her eyes lit up with excitement at his words. “Not telling you yet, you’ll find out.” She shook her head at his words.

“You’re so sneaky. And here I was thinking that you couldn’t keep a secret if your life depended on it.” Y/N teased as she turned on her heel towards her apartment to pack a weekend bag.

The pair had stopped early in their trip to get some snacks at a gas station, just something to keep them awake after a long day at the office. Y/N had taken off her shoes and cozied up in the passenger seat, manipulating her seatbelt so that her back was leaning against the car door. Her feet was propped up on the centre consol as she observed Harry from her seat. Every little hair on his head, his eyes on the road that sometimes glanced over at her, a smile spreading on his face when he caught her looking at him. One of his hands reached for her, hand spreading out over her knee and squeezing it slightly. “What’s on your mind, pet?” Y/N tilted her head. “Like you don’t know.” She laughed and leant back against the door. “Just thinking about how the hell I landed you.” She continued, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks with the words, but still confident. Harry sighed. “You’ve got it all backwards, I’m afraid. You’re so out of my league it’s insane, I’m surprised I didn’t have to beg on my knees for you to date me.” He replied to her, once again squeezing her knee. “Well, let’s be real, you kind of did.” Y/N said as a comeback, clearly remembering the anxious, thinly spread Harry that night almost 6 months ago. “Alright, that’s enough or I’ll drop you off on the side of the road.” Harry replied, faking a threat as he felt the embarrassment of that evening come over him. “You wouldn’t, think you love me a little too much to leave on the side of the road.” She continued to tease.

Of course she was right.

“Harry. Is this all for us, have you gone completely insane?” Y/N looked at him without a hint of amusement behind her eyes as she stepped out of the car to look at the so called “cabin” that Harry had rented out. Thing is, it wasn’t just a cabin. It was a huge, sprawling estate, hidden away from neighbours and curious gazes. It had to have cost him thousands of punds just for a weekend getaway, and even though Y/N appreciated his act of love, they had had this conversation before; the one about money.

Y/N didn’t grow up with wealth, and neither did Harry. But as the years had passed, Harry had gotten ridiculously rich. No prize on either cars or estates phased him, he barely looked at the cost of things, which Y/N had thought was completely insane, even though she didn’t exactly know the extent of his wealth.

The first argument about money that they had, was early on in their relationship, just a month after they’d become official.

It had been Y/N’s birthday.

They were newly in love. It had been a month. They spent all their awake time together, at work, at home, in bed and weekends. Their hearts were blooming, still with that wondrous love in their hearts each time they looked at each other. Everything was easy, bright and happy.

Y/N’s birthday was coming up, and since she didn’t want to make a big deal of it, she had told Harry that they’d spend it with some of their friends. She had also warned him, to not get her anything as a gift. Y/N wasn’t really aware of what the code was when it’s your partners birthday, but you’re a new couple, so to avoid any awkward feelings, she straight up told him not to get her anything.

Harry wasn’t like that though. He knew her birthday was coming up long before she’d warned him. It might’ve even been one of the first things he’d memorized about her after she left her initial interview at Pleasing. His nosey ass couldn’t keep his nose out of her application papers that was clearly stating her date of birth and age.

He had been a little bit taken aback when Y/N told him not to get her anything, because he had already gotten her something. Something that, in his eyes it wasn’t a big present of any sort, just an appreciation for his girlfriend that he loved more than the number of stars in the sky.

“Can I just get you something small? Please, I know you don’t want anything, but it doesn’t feel right, I just want to celebrate you, you deserve it.” Harry had mentioned over the breakfast they were sharing. Y/N shook her head at him adoringly. “Does it really mean that much to you? A get together with you and my friends is more than enough for me.” Y/N reached out over the table and entwined her fingers through his. He was warm.

“It does, I like giving gifts, and it can be something small, I just want to get you something. If you really don’t want to I won’t but I can’t lie and say it won’t break my heart a little.” He admitted to her. So, she agreed. It was just something small, and she found his urge to care for her so badly very sweet.

And Harry didn’t necessarily lie, the gift was indeed small, but it was expensive. Harry had barely blinked at the prize when he’d went to the jeweller’s and picked out a piece that would suit her perfectly. And maybe that was the problem in all of this. Harry had spent so much of his life by now, bathing in money, and it didn’t really matter to him anymore what things cost him, because at this point, he had made more money than he’ll ever be able to spend.

Y/N didn’t have that, she wasn’t, nor had she ever bathed in money. She was like everyone else, budgeting her money to see what she could spend and save, and she quite enjoyed it, she didn’t have too much or too little of anything.

So when she opened his “small gift” on his sofa, amongst his friend on her birthday evening, she could feel her blood burning when she pulled out a beautiful, white gold bracelet with tiny charms linked to it. Amongst the charms was an “H” initial and amongst a few others that she could recognize meant something to the both of them. A collective gasp was spread through the room, and Y/N knows she should be happy, but right she felt almost embarrassed. Here she was, sat with her regular friends and millionaire boyfriend, while he gifted her jewellery worth thousands of pounds. Harry sat beside her, smiling widely and awaiting a reaction to his gift. Y/N couldn’t find it in herself to be ungrateful, she wasn’t, but she needed to talk to Harry about the way her stomach twisted and turned, how her cheeks turned red and how she felt guilty to receive something like this. But now wasn’t the time. Instead, she turned to him with a weak smile and kissed his cheek. “Thank you, my love.” She simply said before turning back to her friends and picking up another gift. It hurt her. She could see the slight disappointment in Harry’s eyes as she put his gift to the side.

It had all turned into something much bigger. Y/N wasn’t handling his apparent wealth and need to spoil her very well, and Harry was just confused. He couldn’t understand in his wildest mind how she didn’t want him to spoil her. He couldn’t understand her anger, her guilt, and her refusal to let him love her in this way. Because that was it. Plain and simple he loved her. He hadn’t dared to stutter those words since their first night together, and she hadn’t either, but he sure felt it. He felt in his his whole body, and he had for an embarrassing amount of time.

They made up, at last, and she accepted his gift after a few persuasive kisses and promises of no more gifts like these. She made it clear to him that she did appreciate his effort, and the thoughtfulness, but she didn’t appreciate the huge amount of money he had spent. Harry listened and took it to heart. He wanted to make her happy, of course, and gift giving was part of his love language, he just had to learn to tone it down slightly.

That same feeling in Y/N’s stomach that she had on her birthday had returned as she stepped out of the car and looked at the huge house in front of her. It wasn’t like he had bought her a whole house, it was just a weekend away, but it’s the principle of him spending that much money on her that made her uneasy.

“Darling.” Harry just said as he looked over to her. He knew from the look on her face that the same as the one she wore on her birthday. Harry rounded the car to stand right in front of her.

“This isn’t a cabin Harry. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, you know I appreciate when you plan things like this but…” her fingers played nervously with her rings, tears feeling like they could escape from her eyes at any moment. “Look at me.” Harry said, his hand coming up to her cheek, thumb grazing softly over her jaw. “It’s not just a cabin, ‘m sorry. And I know how you feel about this but you also have to know how I feel. I feel like I could never give you enough, you deserve everything I have pet, and sometimes that shows with money. I don’t want it to bother you like this, because I love y- …doing this for you. You must accept that I want to do this and that I’ve got no bad intentions, just want to show you how much you mean to me.” He almost let it slip from his lips. It felt so easy. Y/N swallowed hard. She didn’t want to fight about money, but being taken care of like this was still so foreign to her that she didn’t know how to handle it. She nodded, and looked up at him with watery eyes. “No more.” She just said as she melted into his body, arms wrapping around his middle and her nose searching for his scent lathered in the neckline of his shirt. “There will be more, I want to give you all of it, pet.” Harry replied. She just nodded into the warmth of his chest.

Overwhelmed was the right word. She didn’t know what to do with all these new feelings of guilt that was put in her, where did they come from? Why couldn’t she just accept that he only did this out of pure adoration for her heart?

They got their bags out of the car and stepped inside the house. From the foyer, she could see straight through the house, with a beautiful lake spread out just a few meters from the house. The water on the lake was shimmering in on the roof, which made the whole house look absolutely magical, like something out of a movie.

The house was massive, white walls and high ceilings with an open kitchen carrying dark wooden details and stone countertops. It was the house of Y/N’s dreams.

They spent the afternoon getting settled in, and going down to the lake to have a splash around. Y/N had discovered a porch swing sitting under the balcony, facing the lake and greenery around it, and if she wasn’t already in love with this place, it only intensified when she saw the swing.

But it wasn’t any old, creaky porch swing, it looked almost like a suspended sofa, blankets draped over it and pillows in the corners.

It was her turn to plan something small for Harry.

As they stood in the burning hot shower after their dip in the lake, Y/N hurriedly scrubbed herself down from the dirt and grime and turned to Harry who looked slightly confused at her erratic behaviour. “You got somewhere to be, pet?” Harry chuckled as she hung up her loofah. Y/N had a mischievous look on her face as she wrapped her arms around his middle. “It’s my turn for a little surprise now. I want you to meet my out the back in 40 minutes, and not a minute earlier, alright?” She said as she reached up and placed a single peck on Harry’s chin. Harry nodded, both his hands coming up to her head, carding through her wet hair and pushing it away from the gentle features of her face, then leaning down and connecting their lips. “I’ll be out in 40 minutes.”

Y/N scrambled to put on her comfortable, yet pretty new pyjamas, and dug out what she needed for her little surprise. She pulled out some candles from the depth of a cabinet in the kitchen, a bottle of wine and her speaker, some fruit for them to snack on and finally, a little gift that she had prepared.

The sun had started to set, a few rays still on the porch swing as she got out. She put the candles in the little lanterns and set up a little table for them, wanting to just have some down-time in the porch swing before their evening ended.

Harry stuck his head out the back door exactly 40 minutes later, a big smile on his face, and his freshly washed curls in a mess on top of his head.

Y/N snapped her head around. “Come sit.” Y/N smiled at him and reached out her hand for him, leading him over to the swing. “You’ve made it so lovely out here, pet. So nice to me, always.” Harry whispered to Y/N’s cheek as he pulled her closer to him. Harry was also wearing some cozy clothes, and through her thin pyjamas, she could feel the heat of his body and ripple of his muscle under his skin. He was home.

They sat down and cozied up with a blanked as Y/N poured them wine. “For you, my good sir.” She said teasingly, reaching him the glass of red wine. As she poured herself a glass, she leaned back into the soft cushion of the swing and into his arms. She was curled up, while Harry had his legs on the ground beneath, softly swinging them back and forth.

“I’m really sorry I was acting like I was earlier. I just have a hard time with you spoiling me like this, but I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate it, I do, I really do, H.” Y/N admitted as she looked up at Harry. He wasn’t looking at her, his eyes studying the lake that was still catching the last few sunrays. Then he shook his head as he caught her eyes. “You don’t have to apologize t’me, pet. I know you appreciate it. I just…I need you to know that this isn’t a one-off thing. I want to be able to spoil you. I also know that I’ve told you all of my intentions with you, I want always with you. I want us to enjoy our life, I want us to explore, I want to…I want to be with you, and sometimes I want to spend money on you. I can’t say that it doesn’t hurt me a little when you reject me like that, but I also understand where you’re coming from.” Harry laid out. Y/N felt her insides twist at his mention of her rejecting him, cause in her head, it wasn’t like that; not at all. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m rejecting you. I want the same thing as you, I just…that I don’t want to…bother you, I think. I don’t make nearly as much money as you do and sometimes it makes me feel like shit because I can’t bring the same thing to this relationship as you can. I guess it’s just something that’s always going to stick with me, but I want to be better.”

Y/N said, trying her best to be vulnerable and let him see her side of things. Harry snapped his head to look at her. “Is that really how you feel? Like you’re a bother to me?” He asked her, genuinely, not accusing her of her feelings, but sounding like he was genuinely concerned and interested in what her answer might be. “I do sometimes. I work for you, and I’m your girlfriend, it’s a bit hard to navigate sometimes, because we see each other so constantly, and I just don’t want you to get tired of me.” Harry nodded at her words, and stayed quiet for a moment. Y/N could see the wheels spinning in his head, trying to put the right words into his mouth. “You don’t ever have to feel like you’re a bother. Ever. I want to spend every moment with you, and I know I am so lucky to get to see you every single day at work. I do all of these things because I care about you, and in a world where money is everywhere and everything, I sometimes don’t think about the value of some things. You say that you bring nothing to this relationship, but I wish I could put into words how wrong you are.” Harry said honestly, his thumb stroking gentle circles over her cheek as he leaned in to connect them in a kiss. “I’m in love with you. I haven’t told you since that first night, but I don’t think I can keep it in me anymore, I need to tell you, all the time. I need you to know that you’re it, f’me. I love you so much, and you’ll never bother me the way you think you are.” He said against her lips, breaths switching between them because they’re close, so close. Y/N feels like her whole body is on fire, she’s blushing, her lower stomach filling with arousal and all the love she feels for him is just waiting to explode out of her like a fountain. So she does the first thing that comes to her mind. She kisses him again, again and again, until they’re out of breath and panting. “I love you, thank you for loving me like you do.” Is all she says, and she can feel him smiling into their kiss. Y/N moves around on the swing, and gently places their glasses back on the tiny table in front of them before pushing harry down to lay on his back. “Need to show you.” She murmurs against his mouth, as he welcomes her wet kisses trailing down his neck, making the hairs on his body stand up. “Yeah? You’re going to show me how much you love me?” He teased, as he let himself be pushed around to her liking. There was just something about Harr’s dirty talk that got her going even more, his velvety, low voice, combined with those forbidden, almost taboo words, mixed with his high praises and promise of pleasure. It was her favourite thing.

Y/N straddled his hips, looking down at him with a blown out pupils and slight smile as she tugged on her top to discard it on the floor. Harry’s hands instantly came up to touch. First smoothing over her belly and ribs until he reached her fleshy breasts, pinching her nipples and gauging her reaction. Her body caved into Harry’s as he touched her, leaning over him, with her breasts right in front of his face. Harry seized the moment, sticking out his tongue to tease her nipples, nipping them and working his tongue over them. A frustrated, pleasured moan came from Y/N as she started grinding her hips on his warm, plumping cock. Harry could feel her warmth through her bottoms, opting to grab onto her hips with his hands to pull her closer to him. “Can you feel what you’re doing to me, pet? Feel how much I love you?” Harry breathed into her hair, kissing her pulse point right under her ear, slightly biting on the earlobe.

“Mmmh” Was all she was able to get out before Harry pushed her away from him, grabbing her hand and rushing off to their bedroom for the weekend.

They barely made it through the door before Harry’s lips were on hers again, hands over any skin he could get to as they got rid of the remains of clothes that they still had on.

“Wanna taste…wanna bite.” Harry said to her skin, moving down the bed as he placed wet kisses down her sternum, belly, until he reached her mound. Y/N panted heavily with just the feel of his hands and kisses on her skin as she tangled her fingers through his locks to see his face properly. “Please.” She mewled when he teasingly places feather-light licks and kisses on her inner thighs and mound. “Be good, you’re going to get it, but you have to be my good girl, okay?” He said in reply to her mewl and her hands trying to steer her towards where she wanted him. “I’m good, I want to be good.” Y/N replied absentmindedly. And just as she was about to complain again, she felt his hot tongue inside of her, licking broad licks from her opening to her clit. Shivers of pleasure rippled through her body as he pleased her with his mouth, sucking, nipping, licking, and massaging wherever he could get to.

“You taste like heaven baby, so sweet for me, always.” Harry said as he came up for air. “More, please, H” Y/N said the moment his lips left her. She could feel herself getting closer to her that cliff of pleasure, just about to fall off when he detached. “I know, pet, you’re so close yeah? Could feel it on my tongue. Want my fingers too?” All she could do was nod, frustrated and writhing around in the crispy sheets. “You know I need your wor-“ “Yes, yes please, please do anything” She interrupted him in desperation, her hazy mind not caring about her manners at all. “Good girl.” Was all Harry said before diving back in with his mouth and fingers, instantly feeling her clench around his fingers as he curved them, poking the squishy island of pleasure with the tips of his fingers. Y/N moaned out as she got close, closer to the edge of her orgasm, raising to her elbows so she could see him. His eyes were closed as he worked his magic on her.

“I’m coming” Y/N airily moaned as her whole body tightened and she let herself fall over the cliff. Harry continued to work her through the waved of pleasure, prolonging her orgasm for as long as he possibly could.

Y/N in her post orgasm haze shot up from the sheets, pulling Harry up to her as she kissed him. She could taste herself on his lips, residual wetness around his mouth and chin transferring onto her skin. It was so hot. Without another word, she rolled him over, straddling him once again, like out on the swing. She sat right over his hard length, not yet putting him in as Harry had a lazy, smile on his face, pupils blown out in arousal and pleasure. Y/N put her hands on Harry’s chest, feeling up his muscles and dragging down to his toned stomach as she started moving over his cock, wetting him with her own arousal.

“Pet, Shhi- I’m not going to last if you grind on me like that.” Harry said as he fixed his eyes on hers, a little wrinkle of strain between his dark brows. Y/N said nothing to him, continuing to slick his cock with her wetness with a playful smile and moans of pleasure leaving her lips every time the head bumped her clit. Harry’s hands took a firm grip around her wrists as he sat up.

“You’re just asking for it, aren’t you? Thought you’d want it slow and sweet tonight, but I guess I was wrong.” Harry said in a harsh tone, although Y/N could see straight through him. “Doesn’t matter, just want you to fuck me. You always tease me so I thought you’d have a taste of your own medicine.” Y/N replied sassily with a scowl on her face, but a sparkle in her eye that gave her away immediately. “You…” Harry chuckled as he pinned her down on the bed, giving himself a few cursory strokes before lining himself up with her. “Tell me, pet. Tell me what I want to hear and I’ll give it to you” Harry mumbled into her neck, kissing and sucking on her salty skin. “Mhh, I love you, please get in me” Y/N whimpered out as she reached down in between them, trying any and everything to get him inside of her. “I love you too, pet, tell me again” He spluttered out, kissing her lips as he finally sank in to her, groaning int her mouth. A wave of relief flooded over Y/N, her desperation for him finally calming down as he poked and prodded at her insides with his cock. Harry picked up his pace, giving her deep, long strokes with his hips as Y/Ns legs wrapped around his body.

Missionary was a classic for the two of them, people found it boring and plain, but for Harry and Y/N, it was their preferred position. Easy access to one another, being able to touch, look, and swallow the other’s moans as they chased their highs. Few things were as romantic for them as missionary. And don’t get this wrong, they are the couple to explore new positions and find other ways to pleasure, but they always returned to this. There was something so raw and pure about it, and they couldn’t get enough.

Their foreheads were stuck together, panting into each other’s mouths as Harry hooked her legs into the crease of his elbows, allowing him to hit her at a new angle. “Baby” Y/N moaned out from the change in angle, his cock hitting her spot head on as he continued to work into her. A layer of sweat was building on his chest and shoulders from the strain of chasing their pleasure, and Y/N wanted to lick it off. He looked so good like this.

“I know, I know it feels so good, pet, I feel it too. You’re the best I’ve ever had, should never let you leave my bed.” Harry praised her in response as he kissed the sides of her face, looking at her blissed out expression. Y/N could feel her orgasm approaching again, and Harry could tell, letting go of one of her legs and reaching down between them to touch her. “H, I’m going to come, please, keep going” She mewled underneath him, trying to chase his movements with her hips as she threw her head to the side and into the pillow. “I’m coming pet, so fucking weak for you. Want it inside, want me to fill you up, baby?” Harry replied with a raspy groan, and that, that made Y/N tip over yes. Her orgasm wracked through her body, her nails digging into Harry’s biceps as she let out sounds of her pleasure. “Inside, please, Daddy, I want it inside.” She encouraged as her eyes glazed over, fixing her eyes on his as she knew he was right after her, wanting the most out of his orgasm, just as he did to her. “Shit- pet you’re playing dirty, Daddy’s gonna come for you, I-“ Harry groaned as he let out pathetic little whimpers. His hips stuttered, burying himself deeper inside of her and catching her lips in a messy kiss, warm tongue sliding over hers. She could feel her lower stomach, warm with him, chuckling and pushing the hair out of his face as he collapsed on top of her completely.

Her nails started raking through his hair and down his back as they basked in the afterglow of their intense sex. Harry placed a gentle kiss on her collarbone and put his head on her shoulder, looking up at her. “I wish I had more words in my vocabulary to tell you how much I love you, I feel like I love you isn’t enough.” Harry spoke genuinely in a low tone. “Write me a book, yeah?” She chuckled as she tried to settle into the moment and enjoy it before having to detangle from each other. “Don’t joke about that, might as well happen, you know.” Harry laughed as he detached their sticky bodies rising from the bed. “C’mon, my love, quick wash up and then sleep.”

Y/N laid there looking at his outstretched arm, completely bare for each other as her heart pumped with pure love and adoration for the man in front of her. She took his hand, and they stumbled into the shower together.

Y/N was awoken by a harsh light in her face, and Harry sitting up on the edge of the bed. He put his phone to his ear, and she could hear him talking lowly on his phone. Casting her a glance and then leaving through the door as to not disturb her sleep.

She could hear him out in the hall.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I can’t….i can’t do anything from here, I’m away for the weekend…No…Well you’re going to have to fix It in some way, call Niall, I’m not available. All I ask is one weekend in quiet and you idiots can’t even do that. Fine. Call Niall and head of security at IT and figure it out, yeah? Bye.”

Y/N listened curiously in her cocoon of blankets, what time was it, why did they need him now?

Harry stepped inside once again and lifted the blankets. Y/N couldn’t really tell if it was anger or worry on his face. “I’m sorry I woke you up, pet. Some idiots at the office don’t know how to handle their job. Let’s go back to sleep.” She could tell he tried his best not to let anger spill out on their conversation, and she felt bad for him, always having to be available and never catching a break. This job would be the death of him some day.

“You’re alright, baby. It’s not your fault. What did they need you for?” She tried with a gentle voice, welcoming him into her arms as he settled in bed and turned off the bedside lamp. “There’s been some kind of security breach in one department, and someone is trying to leak personal data and now they want a ransom to not leak the data and get out of our systems.” Harry sighed. Jesus. “There’s nothing I can do, but they’re calling in head of IT and security to have a look at it, it’s happened before, but hopefully it’s just a scare. Didn’t want to wake you up though, I’m sorry,” He continued, obviously feeling defeated and helpless in the situation.

“I’m sure there’s a way to make it up to me.” Y/N tried as she placed gentle kisses on his jaw and neck, and she could feel Harry instantly relaxing and smiling at her wording. “Yeah? Tell me and I’ll make it up to you.” He let her lead him on, feeling her hands playing with the elastic of his boxer briefs. “Guess.” Harry shook his head in adoration as he pulled down his boxers and took her underwear off in the same movement, getting in behind her and pushing inside of her. No preparation was needed. Nothing got him harder when he knew she wanted him.

“Fuck, it hasn’t even been two hours and I’ve already missed being inside of you.” Harry admitted with a sigh as he entered her again.

It was lazy, raw and desperate sex, in the middle of the night. Harry couldn’t stop thinking about her, having her in every way imaginable. And he kept thinking about his life from over a year ago, when he had no idea that she, the love of his life, was about to enter into her life. And even if it was just something small, like having sex to take the edge off from the day, Harry couldn’t imagine anything else for his life as they fell asleep cuddled up to each other, leaving no room for work or security breaches to enter his mind. It was just them.

Back at work, a few days later, Lydia, Y/N’s co-worker and close friend smiled suspiciously at Y/N as she prepared her desk for the workday,

“There’s something up with you, and I can’t tell what it is.” Lydia wiggled her eyebrows with an interrogating look on her face. Y/N blushed slightly, but tries to keep a straight face through the conversation, having a sip of her morning coffee. “I’m an open book.” Y/N tried to play, but she could tell that Lydia wasn’t buying it. “You. Me. Meeting in Atlas in 5 minutes. We need to have a MEETING.” Lydia pressed, gathering her things and rushing off to the free meeting room to have a pretend meeting with her best friend. Y/N rolled her eyes and went after her. She could never keep anything from Lydia. She just knew stuff without knowing. Of course, the whole office knew about Harry and Y/N getting involved, but they kept in on the low.

“Alright. Spill the beans, all of them, right now.” Lydia said immediately when she closed the door and plopped down in a chair opposite of Y/N. Just as she was about to answer her, Harry walked by on the other side of the glass. He glanced inside, smiling his brilliant smile and sending her a quick wink before he was off. Y/N looked up with a smile spreading over her face, just from that small interaction. Lydia didn’t even have to turn around. “It’s him, yeah?” Y/N nodded, eyes stuck on the glass where he had just walked by. “I think I’m going to marry him.” Y/N said as she kept looking through the glass. Her heart grew every time she looked at him. If this wasn’t love, then she didn’t know what was.

And Lydia just burst out laughing, a true belly laugh, like she hadn’t heard anything funnier in her whole lifetime. “Babe, tell me something I don’t know. I’ve never seen two people as dumb in love with each other as you two. I’m sure there’s going to be a ring on your finger in the next year, but probably tomorrow if Harry got to have it his way. Plus, you two wreaked of “I just had the best sex of my life” the minute you stepped into the building”

Y/N just blinked at Lydia, blushing at her comment. She hadn’t heard anyone talking about them like that before, and it made her heart grow three sizes. Was it that obvious to everyone? Even Harry?

“Really, you think so?” Y/N replied with a watery smile. Lydia looked at her with a smile. “I know so. There’s absolutely no doubt. I’ve known Harry for about three years, and he’s never been like this, ever. It’s like a different person, I’m telling you- “. Suddenly, there’s a knock on the door, both Lydia’s and Y/N’s eyes flying up to see Harry at the door. “Hello ladies, I was just wanting to borrow Y/N for a quick second.” He tried to be professional, bless him, but the smile overtaking his features revealed him. Lydia smiled at him. “Of course. No funny business, Mr. Styles.” She teased him with a smack on his arm as she left the room, turning around when she was behind him and staring at her intensely, “I TOLD YOU” She mouthed to her.

Y/N chuckled, rising from her chair and meeting Harry halfway around the conference table. “What a pleasure, Mr. Styles, what could you want me for, huh?” Y/N teasingly smiled as she stepped into his embrace. Harry looked down at her with nothing but love in his eyes, his thumb grazing her cheek as she leaned into his touch, “Just wanted to ask the lady if she would like to have dinner with me, tonight. Was thinking about making my famous curry, and I’d like for you to be there.” Harry continued with his little act. “Well, my good sir, I would really like that. I’ll see you later, then.” Y/N replied courteously as she began walking out; but not before Harry grabbed her hand and pulled her back into him. Both his hand on her face, gently passing his fingers through her hair and picking at stray pieces of hair, lovingly. “I love you, be good, yeah?” He said in a way that made her lower stomach flutter with arousal. “I’ll be good. I love you.” She replied before he attached his lips to hers in a long, soft kiss. A few more pecks for good measure, and then she turned around and left, a glimmer in her eye.

Harry stood glued in his spot, completely besotted with her and everything that was her. “I think I need to marry her.” He whispered to himself as he shook out of his daydream, to continue his workday.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles x reader #harry styles masterlist #ceo!harry #ceo harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic

[whathorselegs]

I think the main part of my Chuuya overworks himself and is a chronic people pleaser headcanon comes from the fact actual Nakahara Chuuya's poem 'The Village Clock' is imprinted on my brain.

'The big village clock was working day and night. The clockface's paint had already lost it's shine. When I drew near, there were lots of tiny cracks.'

Not the full poem, but the lines that really stick for me. This is just Chuuya to me. Keeping going, keeping working, not smiling as much as he used to. Keeping up appearances. Keeping even his friends at a distance so they don't see he's not as happy as he used to be.

I agree in the latest chapters Chuuya looks tired as hell, but his eyes have always read as tired to me. He's always looked like he needed a nap (It took a moment to find a mostly neutral expression in his introduction because, well, the Dazai effect). The straight across upper eyelids and the rounded lower eyelids just scream "I'm too tired for this" to me

It's quotes from the Mayoi 'Joyous night' cards.

Kouyou: "Chuuya are you saying you can't have what I'm drinking? There's no need to worry so long as you drink in moderation. Surely you can afford a glass at a banquet." Chuuya: "What are you drinking Ane-san? Wine, is it? Interesting... No, I couldn't. I'm you're escort. If something were to happen while I was drunk, well... *sigh* Alright, maybe just a glass. This is a banquet, after all."

Like, yes, I'm fairly certain these are in reference to Chuuya being a lightweight and not wanting to get drunk at a fancy party. But it's also Chuuya not allowing himself to have fun. Kouyou realistically doesn't need escort, Chuuya was likely asked along because she enjoys his company.

It's wine. He collects wine and he won't even allow himself to indulge in his own interests because he's too busy unnecessarily worrying about Kouyou and how people will perceive him at the banquet.

It's the fact despite there being several high ranking mafia members introduced by the time of the three way conflict, Mori always uses Chuuya for his plans. There's really no need for an executive to be the one to check up on the hired assassins, or deliver information to the ADA.

Chuuya even remarks upon it himself, saying he didn't think himself fit for the role of envoy. But he does it because the boss ordered him to. He won't say no.

I don't think Chuuya is the same type of overworker Kunikida is. Kunikida has to have everything done right, he needs it done on time. He has a set of meticulous rules and practices to ensure it gets done correctly.

I doubt Chuuya is the type to be worried over his reports being perfect or "in on time" because he's part of the mafia. This isn't a day job. Sure, there probably deadlines where stuff is time sensitive, but again, Chuuya is an executive. He can delegate such work to subordinates if needs be. I definitely don't think he's above coasting his work and putting in minimum effort as long as the job gets done.

I think Chuuya is an over worker in the sense, that even if he's exhausted, even if he wants to go home and collapse, if Mori handed him another job, he'd do it. He has a hard time saying no to people and it carries over into his work.

And he has difficulty shutting off work mode once he's home. "Might as well sort those emails while I have some spare time" Turns into Chuuya unable to sleep hours later because he lost track of time, drank too much caffeine and has a migraine from staring at a screen for so long.

As for being a chronic people pleaser? Well, we mostly see that in Wan or the anthologies. As I've already stated, Chuuya has a hard time saying no to people close to him. It's important that it's not everyone. If he doesn't know them, he can and will tell them to beat it, if he wants to.

But show him a little of bit kindness? An ounce of respect? Be nice to him for a moment and the people pleasing button gets pressed. He goes about it in a round about way, he can't have you know that's what he's doing so Chuuya makes up excuses as to why he's doing it, but he does it all the same.

We see it when he buys Kenji dinner, or makes everyone shaved ice and plenty of other examples. He has to go above and beyond. He wants you to be impressed because he wants the praise, but he can't have you know that's what he wants.

The only person he doesn't do this with is Dazai. And that's probably to do with how they met at 15 (also because Dazai annoys the hell out of him). They met when Chuuya's people pleasing was at its worst, when he was King of Sheep and had next to no will of his own because Chuuya was too afraid of losing the Sheep to not do as they say. Dazai breaks him out of that.

For all they make the bet that Chuuya's his dog, aside from the odd joke, Dazai is never seen making good on that. He never orders Chuuya around like a dog, they are partners and he treats him as such. When Dazai witnesses Chuuya being treated this way by the sheep, he looks annoyed, he doesn't like seeing it. Chuuya being his dog was always just a silly joke.

Dazai being so annoying that Chuuya couldn't stand to do what he said helped Chuuya break out of some of his people pleasing habits and learn saying no was okay. After Dazai defected, I think those habits came back as Chuuya had to fill the role of Mori's right hand in his absence.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd chuuya #bsd #my writing #bsd headcanons #Chuuya needs a holiday #Let him have some peace please #Chuuya Sigma and Dazai are all going on a road trip after the prison break #and nothing bad will happen #just fun vibes and locking Dazai in the trunk when he's being annoying

[iiiiiiis-things]

Y/N MAKES: PANCAKES

pairing: Duke Dennis x femblack!reader

cw: MENTIONS of fingering, kai being a dumbass, agent is your twin, that's it ??

blurb: soooo yeah i rmb watching markiplier makes literally all the time so this may or may not be a series.

a/n: ummm hey ?? 😂 yes ik i've been gone i'm gonna keep it real school is rlly taking over everything so i won't be posting as frequent i'll post like once or twice a month unless it's a reblog.. but in the summer i do intend to be more present !! (may or may not drop something in valentine's day we'll see 😗)

"duke get your ass in here" he walks infront of you and kai to get to his side of the table and you take the opportunity to smack his ass with the spatula

"bae."

*smack*

"dawg."

*smack*

"ouch! nigga stop!"

he turns around giving you a stank eye rubbing his ass cheek

________

"once upon a time, in New York City, the bronx. there was a woman who dreamed a dream. to take the previously made invention of pancakes and turn it into something incredibly new and interesting and zesty." before you could finish your intro kai cuts in from the back

"woah"

"kai shut the fuck up"

________

"i have decided that it should be up to me a fine ass black woman to revive the art of lost art...of pancake... art"

"you're doing great babe"

"duke."

rolling your eyes you take a deep breath and continue on to introduce your 'guest' "but as much as i wanted to, this fine ass black woman can't do it alone i present to you." you slam your hands down on the table creating a loud boom before lifting your hand up to your right

Duke walks into the frame and made the poor choice to get his revenge and smack the hell out of your ass with his spatula, which resulted in you smacking the hell out of the side of his fat ass head "known for his strong ass flipping capability, if he were to flip at 100% capacity he would annihilate the entire universe- and trust me. i know" a smile spreads across your face as you you make eye contact with him, he laughs before resuming his composure staring at the camera with an intense look "a lot of people may call him by his nick name 'duke dennis'" you use finger quotes around his name "but his legal name is actually my man. sooo"

"it is?"

"yes it is."

he sides eye you "ion-"

"NEXT! we have the crust nestor" you raise your left hand as Kai walks in rubbing his chin as if he fine or something "if you were to even question anybody who has the greatest, crispiest, goldenest crust" "i don't think that's a word" your brother leans over and whispers

"kai"

"my bad"

"as i was saying. the greatest, crispiest, goldenest crust in the world.. they would say my brother" you stretch your hands out as you describe him. kai brows furrows at his introductory "i have a name" you look over to him and there was just silence before the video was cut to the next clip

"and if you're wondering who I am, among the two negros standing next to me well, i can't believe you dont recognize me"

"your not that popular" Kai says shaking his head in denial and laying his palms flat on the table

"okay you know what, kai.. you getting on my last nerve" you turn your body around to fully face him lowering your tone as like your mother did anytime she was about to pop the shit out of him for asking to get something from the store "i'm sorry" his head hangs low and Duke turns his head to the side and brings a hand to cover his mouth, hiding his smile.

"like i let you be in my video" "i know, i know" Kai shakes his head "and you come in here disrespecting me like i won't slap the shit out of you" you make italian hands and cock your head to the side "ok sis, i'm sorry" rolling your eyes you wrap up your introduction.

"now let's get started and with this trio of perfection, how could anything go wrong?"

________

the next clips shows you slamming the bag of flour on the table in front of you as your boyfriend and brother line it up with everything else "we're going in RAW, unpro-" before you can finish your sentence Kai bursts outs laughing and Duke joins him causing you to roll your eyes.

"we're not using recipes! we're not using measuring cups! we've been doing this for hundreds of years" you side eye duke and point his way "him fasho- but uh we totally know EXACTLY, what to do with the ingredients on display on the table on th- here.. on the table.. displayed-here..." (i actually had a stroke writing this)

"it's ok, take your time baby"

"alright, whatever we're starting now. twin give us the count down" agent starts to count down from three and you immediately go for the flour "also i forgot to mention that someone-" you glare at Duke pouring at least 1 cup of flour in your bowl "forgot the buttermilk" for some reason the first thing Kai did was spray his bowl with pam which Duke notices "the fuck?" he stops pouring the sugar in his bowl to look at Kai because for some reason the next thing he decides to do is pour in the milk.

"see unlike these two idiots, i know that your supposed mix the dry ingredients first" you say glancing up at the camera "where are the spoons?" you look around the table as Kai lifts his head and winces "oh shitttttt- my bad yall"

"nigga"

"are you serious?"

you then smack your lips "fuck it" you start to mix the dry mix with your hands after doing that you grab the vegetable oil and pour just a little inside "ice spice is so fine" Kai grabs an egg cracking it inside "she wants me to be in her new music video" Duke furrows his eyebrows grabbing the oil from you "you?" you grab the carton of eggs from Kai's side of the table "yes. me nigga" kai smacks his lips as you accidentally bump into him knocking almost half his mixture out of his bowl "my bad"

"so as you can see my opponents being the dumbass they are used two eggs when your only supposed to used one" you use your white girl voice as you crack an egg into your bowl "yall this how I be in y/n pussy" you look at duke who holds up the bowl and starts to use his middle and ring finger to mix his pancake solution "boy stop lying you be like this" you lift your fingers creating a 'c' motion duke smacks his lips and stops you "girl no the fuck i don't, i be like-" before he could correct me kai yells at us with a face of disgust "OKAY we get it god damn"

_______

after playing around for a little bit time eventually runs out and the three of you attempt to create at least a few decent pancakes "we have syrup right?" Kai asks "duh why the fuck would we have pancakes and no syrup?" Duke responds to Kai. he smacks his lips and his brows come together as he starts to get irritated "bro didn't you forget the buttermilk?" "didn't u forget the spoons?" "okay but at least-"

"oh my god both of y'all shut the fuck up."

you all finish up your pancakes in separate rooms to create a little bit of suspense and to see who pancakes turned out the best and after setting the camera back up it was time to present.

"hey guys" agent waves at the camera as he fixes the flash "i'm going to be the judge of everyone waffles" you look up and fixes his statement "pancakes" "same difference"

______

"why the fuck is it hard?" agent tries to cut Kai black ass pancake with a knife but it doesn't budge "and black" Duke adds trying to get Kai eliminated but the way your twin was struggling to slice it was already enough. "you see it was a visual representation of my sister" Kai uses his arms to explain as you step forward "nigga u tryna be funny? alls i see is a black ass blob"

"it was supposed to be a monkey."

agent ends up picking up the mess with his hand, but it was so hard he couldn't even take a bite..

"alright next." he moves over next to you and removes the lid on top of your plate and he immediately begins laughing. Duke and Kai comes up to see what so funny as they soon realized what you created "i was inspired by the song peaches and eggplants featuring sexyy red and mulatto" your white girl voice comes back as you hold up the plate for the camera to see. obviously it was a peach and eggplant you even took the time to color your batter but what agent found so hilarious was the powdered sugar and whip cream spread across the peach and syrup leaking from the tip of the eggplant.

"alright, alright cmon lemme taste it" he grabs a fork and begins to slice through "hey!! i can cut through this one!" Duke laugh booms throughout the house as Kai rolls his eyes, after successfully cutting a nice piece of the peach he stuffs it into his mouth and begins chewing "mmm." you look at him with momma lips telling him he better say something good or he was gonna be fired "i mean yeah it's good. like real shit. but-" you whip your head to him seeing what else he has to say "wayyy to much whip cream, it makes the waffle extra sweet it would've been better with a drizzle of syrup" you once again correct him "pancakes" "shut up, tomato tomata"

"ok duke you ready?" "no" " to bad" he removes the lid exposing his pancake which didn't look bad at all but he forgot one thing "just normal waffles?" you scream from behind the camera "PANCAKES" "I KNOW WHAT I SAID" your boyfriend breaks up the small bickering "well shit how was i supposed to know we was making eggplants and monkeys? ain't nobody told me shit." he shrugs as agent cuts through his pancake and drowns it in syrup that spilt over on the plate before stuffing it in his mouth "mmm. it's not bad" you walk back into the camera frame wrapping your arms around Duke waist giving him a peck on the cheek which makes him grin "don't playyyy! see my baby can cook!" "but-" "damnit never mind" duke frowns as he catches an attitude and removes your arms from around him and agent continues "i don't know what the fuck u did but this is the chewiest waffle i ever tasted"

you walk over to the plate and you grab another fork to taste, cutting a small triangular piece you bite the tip off immediately realizing what twin was talking about "it's not necessarily chewy... it's like.. doughy" waving Duke over he walks up behind you wrapping one arm around your waist. lifting up the fork with leftover pancake on it you bring it to his mouth as he takes a big ass bite stuffing the rest in his mouth. Duke chews and chews soon swallowing "i don't see what yall talking 'bout that shit good" he points to his plate. Kai pops up out of nowhere with a fork squeezing inbetween you and agent trying to snag a piece he rolls his eyes and leaves back behind the camera to make sure it was still recording. "what the shit ?? this shit taste like ass" Kai immediately spits it out and Duek smacks his lips "nigga stop playing wimme that shit taste amazing!"

you move over grabbing your own plate over so the three of you can taste it. you and your brother both take a bite of the eggplant as Duke waits patiently for you to feed it to him "mmm. yeahh thats perfect. i don't even wanna taste the peach" kai shakes his head in disbelief that you actually made a decent pancake, rolling your eyes u feed duke a small piece of the eggplant, being a little nervous for his reaction "mmhm." he balls his fist bringing it to his mouth "oh yeah" he points towards your plate "that's the shit right there" you smile glad that he took a liking to your creation "thank you baby" you give him a kiss and Kai once again interrupts "ALRIGHT, my turn!"

"i'm not eating that shit."

#duke dennis is my man #duke dennis amp #duke dennis x reader #duke dennis x black reader #duke dennis x black!fem!reader #duke dennis #kai cenat #agent 00 #x reader #x black reader #guess who's back #(kinda)

[normsdaughter]

Speak up, Love. - Pt. 1

Miles Quaritch x fem!reader

Summary - Selectively mute!reader is an incredibly important scientist + medic who was killed while tending to soldiers in an active warzone before becoming a recom and getting taken under the wing of renounced colonel, Miles Quaritch.

Warnings - Explicit content, no smut, selectively mute + smart reader, sub reader, mention of blood (he spits blood into her mouth), fighting, alludes to bullying (Lyle to reader, other soldiers to reader), smut in future parts, petnames ‘sweetheart’, ‘darling’, and ‘good girl’ used

‘"they're simply jealous. Like the assholes earlier. They were jealous of you. I wished to speak to you, whereas I got disgusted by even looking at them."’

——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/

Colonel Quaritch is wrapping up his orientation speech to the rest of the recoms, yourself included. Amongst the tall blue aliens all of you have found yourselves representing as, you are visibly smaller than most, if not the entirety of the crowd. Even in your human form, you would’ve seemed pitiful compared to them.

It would be easy for anyone here to portray you as inferior to them. You’re not a soldier. You don’t hold the rank they do.

You’re unimportant; simply a medic who was somehow trusted enough by your superiors to be present on a hostile planet, yet idiotic enough to have wound up fatally injured.

Very few, maybe even none, of these people are aware that given the incentive, you could end them without a second thought.

"Ah, Corporal Wainfleet. Good to see you again." The colonel says after wrapping up his speech, looking at the man next to you, Lyle Wainfleet. You've never even made eye contact with the guy, yet he dislikes you.

You’ve heard the way he speaks of you when he assumes you can’t. The way he degrades your work, your intelligence, you.

Lyle nods in respect, shaking Colonel Quaritch's hand as he stands and leaves.

"Ah." The colonel says as he steps to the side, leering over you as you look up from your seat. "Hello." He tilts your head up, his fingers pressing under your chin.

Your eyes narrow, but only slightly. Lyle halts in his tracks. He looks back towards your conversation, as do most of the recoms still in earshot. Hums and Haws start to slip from their mouths.

So, they’ve pinned you as an outsider then.

Corporal Lyle leans his weight onto the foot closest to you. He sucks in a breath. “She’s, um.. That is-”

The colonel leans back on the heels of his boots. He’s looking at Lyle through the corner of his eyes, not bothering to dull his harsh expression.

“I know very well who she is, Lyle.” His voice drawls on the other man’s name, his tongue running over his teeth as his inferior hurries to justify the stuttered attempt of an introduction that Col. Quaritch didn’t want nor need.

"She doesn't speak very often, sir.” Lyle offers finally, a smirk dancing across his lips as he finishes the sentence. “In all honesty, we don’t think she can, except for when she is displaying her quote en quote, ‘revolutionary’, scientific work.”

He laughs. “I think she might be too cowardly to face peoples reactions when she opens herself up to conversations that don’t affirm her high opinion of herself.”

The colonel raises his eyebrows at you, a soft expression of concern, his fingertips grazing your jaw as he turns away. "Hm, Lyle?"

"Yes, sir?"

“It would do you well to mind your own business.”

His eyes flick back down, returning his undivided attention to you, while lowering his voice for just your ears to hear. "Oh, I definitely know who you are. Would you be interested in, well I don’t know, proving your competence to your superior?"

As your eyes widen, you realise that it would probably be in your best interest to respond to him. You ought not to be disrespectful to your superior, so you move to nod in response.

If you speak, you will either embarrass yourself and attract even more attention towards you and the colonel, or you will try and your voice will simply not comply, humiliating yourself in front of one of the few superior officers who has not yet been properly acquainted with you, or your work.

Colonel Quaritch’s fingertips hold you in place, depriving you of a silent manner of response. You can hear his voice in your ears, despite it not leaving his lips. ‘If you want to say yes to me, you have to find a better way to do it.’

You open your mouth, your shoulders shaking in tune with your voice as it fails you. "Y- ye, I.. hm."

His fingers leave your face, taking pity upon you, allowing you the privilege to respond to him without losing any more decency than you have already, which if you consider it, may be statistically impossible.

As soon as he allows you the ability to move your eyes away from his, you do. You glue your eyes to the ground, giving a small nod. Noticeable enough to satisfy him as a response, yet not so frantic as to prompt mocking comments about your enthusiasm.

Muffled snickers make their way to your ears from across the room, and your heart falls. You had assumed that the colonel’s squad of recoms had left the room, or removed themselves from earshot at the very least.

Colonel Quaritch turns to face the group of recoms in the opposite corner of the room, his face twisted in irritation. Clearly, he is a man that doesn’t approve of being interrupted. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" He snarls, his hand resting on your shoulder. The group of eavesdropping soldiers quickly scatter, trailing off in the direction of the mess hall. If they are in search of food, they shall be disappointed. Any leftovers were likely cleaned away a while ago.

"C'mon." He commands, tugging on your shoulder. You stand, finding the height difference between him and yourself impressive. He must’ve been one of, if not the tallest in the room. There must be at least a foot between you. You could probably find his file somewhere, get his exact height. The colonel interrupts your train of thought, placing his hand in a fist around your wrist. It’s gentle, allowing him to have leverage without putting you in pain.

He leads you behind him through the RDA base, drawing attention with every step he takes. While you walk, - he walks, while you get dragged - You attempt to make it seem as if the staring is lost on you, distracting yourself by watching his tail slide along the back of his calf, every so often lifting up and swishing across the front of yours.

On your tippy-toes, you reach out and use your free hand to tap on his, very muscular, upper arm and grab his attention. He wouldn't notice you otherwise, you think. Even if you stood in front of him and stopped him from walking, he would simply shove you aside. The colonel seems to be lost in his own world most of the time. Not in the way you are, though. In a cocky way. He holds himself in a way that says 'I don't care what you think of me. I don't care about you, why should I? Do you care about the roach that crawls over your shoe? About the millions of ants you squash throughout your lifetime? You are nothing but a mere insect to me, why should you matter?'.

He stops in his tracks and turns to face you. If the two of you hadn't already attracted enough attention, you're gaining more by the second. "What is it?"

You raise your eyebrows and point ahead of you, careful not to accidentally gesture towards anyone. Where are we going? You want to know.

"Oh darl, I have heard legends about the way you fight, your insane talent in mere hand to hand combat that most men cannot equal with any weapon known to mankind.. You have no idea what I would've done to get you in the ring. Yet, you - for some reason - opted out of being a soldier.”

You nod with a smile dawning on your face, him slowly matching it with his when he senses the pride that he instilled in you. His grip, almost loosened to the point of letting you go completely, tightens again as you walk towards the gym. A path clears in the colonel’s wake, your eyes facing the floor to avoid accidentally catching anyone else's as you pass. The colonel slows as he notices your discomfort, swapping his grip on your wrist for his arm slung across your waist. You lean into him, as if when you get close enough you can melt into him and disappear.

He pulls you down a hallway with next to nobody down it, "Shortcut. Less stares, if that was troubling you." He glances to the side, giving you his eyes. You nod. You dislike the attention that Colonel Quaritch is drawing to you.

His grip on your waist loosens slowly, and eventually he lets you slip out of his grip and trail a few steps behind, likely because of the severe decrease in crowding around you. You glance up from your feet when the soft thudding of his footsteps disappears, to find that he's stopped in front of a heavy-looking door and is fumbling in his pockets.

You run your eyes over him, zoning in on a shiny ring hooked to one of his belt loops. Hanging from the ring are a few keys, and a square card that gives him access to his room. You presume he's looking for one of the keys that are resting against the fabric of his pants, and remove the loop from his body while he rummages through his pockets.

You take a few steps forward, slipping past the colonel, and kneel down to look at the keyhole. Colonel Quaritch steps towards you in wonderment as you slide in the door’s key. You turn the key in its hole, and receive the affirming click.

You pull the key out and step back to let the colonel open the door, but you forgot he was directly behind you. You falter from the impact of stepping into him, stumbling downwards, but his arms snake around your waist on instinct as your back hits his chest. You let out a sigh of embarrassment.

You try to resume your plan of moving back to the side and following Quaritch into the gym, but his arms tighten around me, holding you in place.

"Not yet darl. How did you unlock that?"

"You were looking for the key, and I saw your keys. I took the keys, then I looked at the keyhole and I matched the key with it. I was right about all of that, so now the door is unlocked. If you would let me g- g, g-"

"Wow. That was a bit of a breakthrough for you huh, sweetheart? That's a lot of words in a short time. Good job darlin.”

You move your hands around funnily to accompany words that will not come out, slipping out of Colonel Quaritch’s arms and turning to face him. The Colonel raises his eyebrows patiently, watching you, slightly amused. He gives you his tablet to type on.

You nod softly, your fingers immediately beginning to type.

'I don't really like speaking. I never have. Eventually I just became accustomed to staying silent. Sometimes I just can’t bring myself to get words out. I find it easy to speak about my intelligence though, except when I feel like I am going to be singled out for it. I like explaining the process of my thoughts. People don't like it when they can't understand things, I like it when I can help them understand.'

When you turn the tablet around to show it to him, he takes a second, making sure to read it carefully and correctly. He doesn't want to miss a word.

"I'm glad you can speak about your intelligence darl. I'm sorry that people single you out for it, they're simply jealous. Like the assholes earlier. They were jealous of you. I wished to speak to you, whereas I got disgusted by even looking at them."

The blood rushes to your face as the colonel watches you carefully, taking you in. He taps the tablet lightly, tilting his head. 'Do you have something to say?'

You take the tablet from his hands, staring at the tablet blankly, before shaking it to erase the previous writing.

'Thank you, Colonel Quaritch.' You type.

"Colonel Quaritch is long. Colonel is fine." He mutters, his eyes on the tablet.

You shake the tablet to erase your writing once again, raising your eyebrows and biting your lip as you type.

'Just colonel?’

"Yes."

You slowly hand the colonel his tablet back as he leads you into the gym. He goes through the door first, capturing any possible attention, dragging it away from you. You follow through after him, glad to find that there's nobody inside.

The colonel grabs your wrist again, and pulls you towards the wrestling ring in the corner. He stops halfway, positioning you in front of a punching bag, and supplying you with a pair of boxing gloves. He stands behind you, the sight of his shadow towering over yours nearly bringing you to your knees with the wish of sinking into the ground.

You pull on the boxing gloves and tighten them appropriately, and stand still while the colonel repositions you. He lays a piece of tape a few centimetres in front of your feet, and you bring a foot forward to rest the tip of your boot against it.

You try to buck out of his grasp when he places his hands on your hips, but he simply pulls you backwards and grips you tighter, fingertips already forming bruises. He tilts your hips at an angle, and promptly releases you. "Sorry, darl, but you have got to be tougher than that."

You nod, quickly and apologetically, while he steps out from behind you. He stands, on the edge of getting in the way, far enough to be safe from accidentally getting wiped out by the punching bag, but not out of reach if you happen to do it on purpose.

'Square up' he gestures, and you follow his command, lean your weight into your toes, and throw a punch. A hard punch. It could've been harder, though. Even so, the punching bag is flung into the air. You step aside as it comes back down, catching it as it swings past you. Having slowed it down, you release it, and let it fall back to its original position.

"Good girl," the colonel snarls, positioning himself behind the punching bag. He takes a few steps back, for his own safety.

You shift your weight ever so slightly, and take a second punch. To the colonel's dismay, you hold back, and the bag doesn't swing into his face.

"Don't do that."

"W-?" You tilt your head slightly

"Don’t hold back on me. I'm strong enough to take whatever you throw at me, darling."

You nod, punching again, as hard as you'll go, so the chain that's hoisting the punching bag doesn't break or come unravelled. The force of falling to the floor usually splits the bag open. It's happened before. Quite a few times actually.

Colonel catches the bag, almost half effortlessly. He throws it back. You punch it once more.

He nods slightly while catching it. "Good job." He passes it back, and you throw another perfect punch.

Catch, throw, punch. Positive affirmation. Repeat, repeat.

The colonel catches, throws, makes his way behind you, distracts you. You step aside, and Colonel Quaritch gets hit square in the chest with a punching bag. He stumbles back and falls to the floor. After giving a small, quiet chuckle, you walk over and kneel next to him.

"Sorry darl, that was my fault.." He winces. You tilt your head softly, giving him a patronising thumbs up. He rolls his eyes, and smacks your hand down. You cradle your wrist to your chest in overly exaggerated pain. "You can punch harder than that. We both know it."

You shake your head, calling his bluff.

"Oh darling. Stop lying to me. I was there. I know what you can do."

You scrunch up your nose, tilting your head to the side in confusion .

"I saw you knock down those punching bags. Every. Single. One. Every time."

Blood rushes to your face again, your cheeks flushing a deep purple.

"Yeah, there you go. You know what I'm talking about. You know you're proud of yourself. You should be sweetheart."

I nod quickly, waiting for him to get to the point.

"You know what I want you to do, darling. You need to punch it as hard as you can, you want to and you know it. You want to break it. Can you do that for me darl?"

You smile through pursed lips, an attempt of hiding your pride in your own strength. You bring yourself to your feet, positioning yourself in front of the punching bag. When you look towards the colonel for his approval, you find his gaze already glued on you. He nods affirmation, and you take a deep breath while getting into position. Shifting your hips, you squeeze your eyes shut. Once you open them, you let out a deep sigh, and throw your fist against the firm exterior of the punching bag.

You step aside, breathing in and out with relief as the bag circles the rafter it's dangling from. The chain, rusted, ancient, and distressed, gets halfway unravelled before snapping off. The bag slaps the floor beside the colonel with a loud thump, and fortunately without splitting.

The colonel rises to his feet, and once you pull off the boxing gloves, he shakes your hand. You gesture towards the ring and he nods once, sharply. Your hair brushes the insides of his thighs as you bend down to retrieve your gloves, and he takes a sharp intake of breath before getting a pair of his own. You slip under the bottom rope, and he climbs over the opposing top one.

You meet in the middle of the ring, and the colonel's voice softly counts down.

"Three, two, one-"

You throw a punch to his chest, and he's forced to take a couple steps back and regain his breath. He doesn't get the chance though, as you throw yourself against the ropes to propel a kick into his stomach.

He coughs softly, spitting a little bit. He places his gloved hands on your waist, and throws you onto the ground. He places one of his feet on your spine to flatten your back, and sends a kick bouncing off your skull. Your gloves reach above your head, grabbing onto his ankle. You tug it, and the loss of balance removes his foot from your back and brings him down to your level.

Jumping to your feet, you force a foot under the colonel's stomach, and flip him onto his back. You bring a knee to his stomach, leaning all your weight onto him. Colonel Quaritch squirms. sputtering, trying to shove you off of him. He eventually topples you, your head slamming against the floor. His feet outstretch, trying to push you out of the ring and onto the ground as he squirms. Once he realises his efforts are going to waste, it's already too late, and you’re straddling his stomach. While you send a punch to his nose, his hands come to your waist, ready to throw you off. You slam one of your hands to one of his wrists, but it's too little too late. The hand you assaulted goes to the ground, but his other one pulls you down with it. He climbs on top of you, making you whimper slightly.

He's crushing you with his weight. You tilt your head back onto the floor and scrunch up your face before you look back up to face him. You take in his features for a mere few seconds before his gloved knuckles slam into your right cheek, the left side of your face landing against the ground so hard that you’re sure there's a black eye forming. A drop of the colonel's blood falls onto your bruised cheek, and you look up to see the blood from his nose dripping into his mouth, and dripping off his face.

"Need a break darling? Too much?" The colonel chuckles, looking down at you condescendingly.

A smile dawns across your face, before you punch him in the eye hard enough to send it spinning for a full 360 in the socket. His smile matches yours, and so does his attitude. The colonel punches you in the chest, making you gasp for air. He takes the chance and spits his blood into your mouth. You gag, choking on his blood, and turn to the side to spit it out. Well, you try to, but his fingers stop you from moving. Before you get the chance to resolve it by just turning to the other side, his hand slips from the side of your cheek to under your chin, holding you in place.

"What a fucking bitch." He grunts with a chuckle, and you shake your head as violently as you can with your face in his grip. "No, darling. You are. Yeah, you are."

You glare up at him, your eyes holding his.

"I knew you were strong, but god, sweetheart. You are fucking magnificent. Swallow." He growls, the familiar snarl you’ve heard him use many times before seeping into his voice, and a drop of blood falls from his philtrum onto your bruised cheekbone.

You gather up saliva to return his blood and spit, but his hand slides over your mouth and forces your head down on the ground as more of his blood drips onto your face.

"Nah, darling. Don't do that." He lets your head come up slightly, just to bring it back down to the ground, somewhat gently.

Your gaze softens as his hardens, and you reluctantly swallow, the metallic taste of blood sticking around as it usually does.

"Hm." He chuckles. "Good girl. Good girl."

You squint your eyes at him in anger, quickly flipping him on his back. Kneeling one knee next to him, you bring the other to his crotch, and strike as hard as you can. Once. Twice. Thrice. Four times. Fi-

He grabs you by your collar and hoists you up to face level, making eye contact with you. He doesn't want you to miss a word he says.

"You cannot win, darl. You're strong. You might be stronger than me. But I am smarter, and I am bigger, and I am faster. I am purely better than you darling, and there is nothing you will ever be able to do about it."

You like the colonel in the ring. He thinks the way you do. He's cockier, yes, but that's because he thinks he can win. And he will. He's like you, you think you can win anything that you want to. You don't think you want to win this.

You don't like most people, but you like Colonel Quaritch. You like the colonel from the hallway, the person who gave you a voice and listened to every word it said. You like the colonel from the punching bag, the guy who fed your ego, was interested in your strength, was cocky enough to stand behind your punching bag. The guy who was strong enough to take it. You like the colonel in the ring, the dickhead who got blood all over you, who thinks he could win if you didn't want him to, who says what comes to mind without hesitating about if it's going to hurt you. It doesn't, by the way. He might be able to hurt you, but his words can't.

He wasn't incorrect, per se. He is smarter than you, but only tactically speaking, your job isn’t to win the war, it’s to make sure he can. He is bigger than you, his height is much, much larger than yours. The span of his shoulders is too. As is the size of his muscles. You don't think he's faster than you, but you’ll get the chance to find out. You memorised his room number. You could challenge him to a race, presuming he has any free time. But he is not using any of his superior properties, he is trying to outdo you in sheer strength alone. He could crush you if he wanted to, squash you like a bug in under a minute without so much as a second thought. But he doesn't know how to. You must show him.

You blink, slowly, encouraging him to make a move against you, give himself an advantage. The colonel looks you over a couple times, analysing your weak spots, questioning how to defeat you. Finding stability by wrapping your hands around the ropes bordering the ring, you hoist yourself up to sit atop them. You bring your hands to your chest, and throw a few weak, less-than-half hearted punches into his.

"Wh.. what are we doing here. Are you bored with this? Are you toying with me? You can punch harder than that. A lot harder than that." The colonel snarls, his frown deepening with each word.

You shrug, your legs growing restless, swinging back and forth, landing soft kicks above his knees every so often. He takes a deep breath, getting increasingly irritated, before pulling off his boxing gloves and lifting you from the ropes to the ground.

"What do you want." He sighs defeatedly, dragging his tablet out of his pocket and handing it to you.

You start to type.

'You can defeat me. I am inferior to you, but for some reason you are trying to outdo me in the area I excel in. I am as strong as you, but you are more tactical. And you are taller, bigger. If you wanted to squash me, you could. If you commanded me to lose, I would. If you had thought for two seconds before pulling out the hotheaded soldier who spewed his hormonal blood-saliva cross contamination into my mouth, I may respect you a bit more. Colonel.'

Once he takes the tablet from your outstretched hand, his eyebrows practically shoot off his face as he reads. Shaking away the writing, he slides the tablet into his pocket before giving you his full, undivided attention, which is accompanied by piercing eye contact.

"Big move, calling me hotheaded, the very second after explaining exactly how easy I would find it to 'squash you' like a bug. Oh and sweetheart," He crosses his arms over his chest, leaning slightly closer to you, as if trying to hear something you were going to say.

"Judging by the way you get all flustered and purple when I lean over you, the way I am now, I figure you shouldn’t be so high and mighty over my 'hormonal cross contamination' being inside of you so much." As he pulls back, one of his hands reaches out to cup your cheek as he tilts his head and examines you. He removes his hand from your face and stands back, semi-weary while awaiting your response.

You extend your hands, asking for help with removing your boxing gloves. You move slowly, to not threaten him or provoke him to lash out violently. He raises his eyebrows, and his fingers go to the velcro on the gloves. You nod, pushing your hands out more "can y- pl-"

"Yes darl. I've got you."

He removes the gloves from your hands, velcroing them together. He repeats the process with his own gloves after picking them up from the floor, then he slips under the ropes and places both pairs back on the stand.

You trail a few steps behind him, like a lost puppy. You figure that now that you’re done with him in the ring, You should feel free to go. You should probably return to your quarters, and stretch and nap or something, on your own. It would be comforting to be alone after having so much attention drawn to you. To go relax in your room, with nobody able to bother you.

But, for some reason, you'd much rather stay here, with the colonel. You find some sense of.. calmness, and pleasure, in following his footsteps, like a ghost indebted to him.

He halts in his tracks, turning around to face you. You tilt your head to the side, questioning his sudden stop.

"Give me back my keys."

Oh. You fish into the pockets of your cargo pants, and retrieve the hoop that has his room card and keys dangling from it, holding it out by gripping his keycard. The colonel snatches it from your hand.

"Why are you still here? What do you need darlin?" He murmurs, hooking the keys back onto his belt loop.

You shake your head, you don't need anything. He nods in understanding.

"You're dismissed." He commands.

You give a small bob of your head in acknowledgment, and return to your quarters.

~

——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/——/

tags: -

#atwow #avatar #avatar smut #atwow smut #miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch smut #colonel miles quaritch #avatar the way of the water #recom miles quaritch x reader #recom squad #recom miles quaritch #recombinant miles quaritch #recombinant miles quaritch x reader #miles quaritch

[coolestzed]

Alright, I’ve been holding this inside for years but I’m finally gonna say it.

Misako haters are actually fucking annoying at this point.

They always were to me, but now, they’re just OBJECTIVELY an annoyance. And they need to STOP.

They take literally ANY chance to slander her, even when it’s completely unwarranted. Like, I’d just look at a picture of her on Pinterest, and there’d be multiple comments going "the world’s worst mother". Or I’d see content about Koko and there’d always be comments comparing her and Misako and going like "Koko way better fuck Misako".

I’d even see a fucking meme and people would slander Misako. Like they couldn’t resist.

And that’s not even mentioning his people constantly make her seem way worse than she actually is. Im not gonna quote everything, but basically they act like she never does good things for Lloyd. That she doesn’t care about him at all! And it’s just- so WILDY out of character!! And it’s the same vice versa! I saw a funny Ninjago video the other day with a "your mom" joke and someone in the comments was like "jokes on you, Lloyd would never call Misako mom". I’m just?????? Yes he DOES????? ALL THE TIME???

People just act like their relationship is nonexistent! Like they don’t care about each other, or that Misako doesn’t care about Lloyd! Which is OBVIOUSLY not true!

People claim that she disappears every other season but the only seasons she was absent in are 12 and 13. Also, she has a job. She goes on expeditions. Obviously she’s not there 100% of the time. And she and Lloyd clearly spend time together off screen.

People don’t even acknowledge the reason why she left in the first place. They act like she dropped him off at a boarding school and dipped to take a vaycay. She was literally trying to stop her husband and son from having to fight to the death. You ever think about that? You ever think about how SHE felt in the situation? With her husband being consumed by evil and later being banished, and learning that he and their son would have to fight each other? She was HORRIFIED and GRIEVING! Ultimately she did it to save her family. It doesn’t make leaving Lloyd right but it’s understandable.

But apparently not to almost all of the fandom.

Most of y’all, completely ignore that, and everything else that came after season 2.

Misako constantly being worried about Lloyd in Tournament of Elements and Possession.

Both of them spending Day of the Departed together.

Her getting/building the Destiny’s Shadow as a birthday gift for Lloyd.

How she supported, fought beside, and risked her life for Lloyd in Hunted.

How she wanted to stay and fight with him during MoTO but only went inside because Lloyd urged her to protect the civilians.

Not to mention just their general interactions. THEY’RE ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER!!! Do you know how many times they hug?!

And this dialogue here:

"Aren’t you going to kiss your mother goodbye?"

"Mooom, we've-we've talked about this-"

WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?!

Lloyd and Misako have a good, healthy and loving relationship. Misako has long since made up for her mistake and they’ve moved on.

Yet THE FANDOM REFUSES TO!!!

EVERYONE, TO THIS DAY, STILL TREATS HER LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!

I CAN’T EVEN COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES PEOPLE HAVE HAD OVERDRAMATIC TANTRUMS FROM HER JUST EXISTING.

IT MAKES ME SO UNREASONABLY ANGRY.

AND THE FACT THAT I’VE SOMEHOW BEEN SEEING EVEN MORE MISAKO HATE DURING AND AFTER MOTHERS DAY IS ACTUALLY APPALLING.

NOT EVEN FUCKING ENDEAVOR FROM MHA GETS THIS MUCH HATE AND HE’S DONE MUCH WORSE TO HIS FAMILY.

IT. HAS. BEEN. OVER. 16. SEASONS. AND. A. MOVIE.

GET. OVER. IT.

*deep breath*

Look, she’s not perfect. Obviously. She fucked up. But who in this series hasn’t? She came back, and she’s made sure to be a better mother to Lloyd. He forgave her, and they have a good relationship now. They’re close.

She wouldn’t be as hated if the writers didn’t do her dirty. Her introduction wasn’t handled the best, and having her and Lloyd have a more in depth discussion would’ve made the reunion and forgiveness feel less rushed and forced. That love triangle with Wu and Garmadon certainly didn’t do her any favors either. 😑

Regardless, her character’s gotten better over the seasons. Again, she and Lloyd and close and have a good relationship.

But hardly anyone acknowledges that, almost everyone in the fandom hyper fixates on that one mistake from years ago. They don’t pay attention to anything else. Like how she’s a better mother, or how she’s just a generally good person.

You aren’t supposed to judge characters or irl people solely on their past mistakes. Especially when they’ve already made up for them. Thats why the "Misako’s a horrible mother" statement is always bullshit to me.

Seriously, Misako’s been a part of Lloyd’s life longer than she’s been absent from it at this point.

The amount of passionate, unforgiving hate she gets is so undeserved and over the top. Too many people are projecting their own issues onto her. Or just being plain hateful. It’s not fair to define her entire character on a single mistake that she’s long made up for.

And it’s definitely not fair to people that actually like Misako. Often times on the few positive posts about her, there’d be Misako haters in the notes or reblogs complaining about her or insulting her, or just stating they hate her but love the content. And that is completely uncool and rude. It’s so unnecessary. You don’t do that, that’s so shitty. The again Misako haters have a habit of spouting unnecessary hate. Like it’s a terminal condition they have.

So, please, for the love of god, COOL IT. Stop and think, try to ACTUALLY look at her character without the veil of blind hatred.

If you still dislike or hate her, fine! But if you’re gonna detest her, at least hate her as she is and don’t make her worse than she actually is to justify hating her more.

And PLEASE stop bashing her at every turn, it’s annoying, upsetting, unwarranted, unnecessary, and just not good.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#ninjago #ninjago misako #misako garmadon #rant post #I may revive backlash for this #I don’t care #I’m so fucking done with this fandom #the hate is actually so ridiculous #y’all can live without constantly putting down a misunderstood character #Misako Defender For Life

[yumeka-sxf]

A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 24

*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

----------

When Twilight finds out that there's a bomb on the ship, he's at first torn about whether to intervene or not. This is an interesting situation for him because it's not a mission he was assigned to do, and intervening could run the risk of revealing himself to the SSS. But at the same time, not intervening and relying on the SSS being capable enough to take care of it, is risky, too.

If Twilight was the selfish, unfeeling spy he makes himself out to be, he would figure out a way to escape the ship with just himself, Yor, and Anya (of course he'd insist he's only taking them with him "for the mission"). He'd probably use one of the lifeboats like the eavesdropping assassin used, perhaps even contact WISE beforehand so they could pick him up. But we know that he's way too conscientious to let such a catastrophic event take place when he could have used his skills to prevent it. So, like his wife elsewhere on the ship, he makes the unselfish decision to help others even if it's a risk to himself. 

Later, Twilight has some final bouts of second-guessing regarding his decision when he picks up Anya at the daycare that night.

Rather than be proud of himself or even relieved that he was able to stop a potential crisis, he instead feels regret that he had to once again abandon his family…but his family is also part of his mission…so by averting the crisis, he saved them? But taking a vacation was also his mission, so does that mean his mission is to…not have a mission? Even I had trouble making sense of his thoughts here, but it's clear that the poor man still has a long way to go before he's not so unnaturally hung up about "missions." Rebecca Silverman on ANN neatly wraps up Twilight's cruise arc character development in an article here, to quote:

"…He wants to make sure the ship doesn't go down, but he also doesn't want to just abandon his child so he can go save it, and that's a distinction that hasn't been as clear in his mind before now. His little meltdown at the end is him fighting against the realization that this family isn't just a “mission” to him anymore; he's now a dad. This is beautifully shown when he catches Anya when she rolls off her bunk; not only is he attuned to her movements, but he cradles her for a moment instead of putting her down immediately. The smile on his face says that he cares, even if he's not comfortable with the idea."

Speaking of the aforementioned scene of Twilight catching Anya when she fell off the bunk bed, the anime adds this new footage of the early morning before the ship arrives at the resort island. Considering Twilight's doubts the night before, we see one of his rare, not-forced smiles, as he interacts with Anya.

Meanwhile, Yor is alone in her room treating her injuries. We know that she didn't sleep at all the night before since she was keeping watch over Olka's group the whole time. She then spent most of the following night in life or death struggles against various assassins, so she looks rightfully exhausted (and I'm sure the pain from her wounds disturbed what little time she was able to sleep).

While they wait for Yor at the island, Anya continues to show how much she has Twilight wrapped around her little finger – all she has to do is suggest that he's not acting like a "normal" dad would, and he immediately bursts into an awkward skip to try and prove to whoever's looking that, yes, he is just a dad having fun on vacation!

However, as soon as he realizes that Yor is there, his face reddens in embarrassment. He doesn't care if nearby strangers think he's acting like a silly, fun-loving dad, but it seems like he doesn't want Yor's view of him as a dignified, composed husband to be tarnished.

His look of concern when he notices that Yor's face is swollen is emphasized more in the anime…what could have been his first thought upon seeing that? However, when she tells him that despite City Hall's failed attempt to win over the couple, they were smiling in the end, he softens. Since the latter part of Yor's words here were not a lie, she was able to express them with genuine satisfaction, and Twilight picked up on her sincere feelings about the matter.

In fact, throughout their entire time on the island, Twilight gazes at Yor with more noticeable softness than he ever has before. From the aforementioned moment when she tells him that the couple were happy, to when she tells him how peaceful she feels watching Anya play with the sheep, and then at the very end of their excursion when he praises her for her hard work while carrying her and Anya back to the ship…Anya may have been right to call him out about missing Yor during the cruise. As I mentioned before, this is likely the longest time he's gone without seeing her since their "marriage," so this may be his subtle way of showing that he missed her.

At this point in the series, it's not hard to tell when Twilight's smile is his fake "Loid Forger" smile versus his real smile – Endo does a good job making the former look "forced," usually accompanied by his eyes being closed in a stiff squint to emphasize the phoniness, while in the latter case, his eyes are much more relaxed and his expression is more animated overall. Nightfall noticed this as well during her visit to the Forger house – how Twilight's real feelings seeped through the phony smile, particularly when his eyes relaxed.

Takuya Eguchi, Twilight's voice actor, also does a good job changing the pitch of his voice slightly when he's speaking as Loid Forger versus speaking his true feelings. If you compare how Twilight converses with Yor in this episode compared to, say, how he converses with Desmond during their encounter at Eden, the difference is very noticeable…even though, according to Twilight, both situations are "for the mission." In his mind, he shouldn't feel anything special for Yor compared to Desmond or anyone else he has to put on an act in front of. And yet, his voice and eyes convey otherwise.

It's been a while since the Forgers went on a family outing, so it was wonderful seeing them enjoy such a variety of activities together. What stood out to me the most as far as analyzing was Yor's difficulty riding the horse.

This may be more of a headcanon, but I feel like animals are uncomfortable around her because they can sense her insane physical strength even when she's not actively showing it. This could be why Kopi didn't put up any fight when she grabbed him, why all she had to do was glare at the German shepherd for him to run away, and why this horse doesn't want her riding him. It could also be why she's Bond's least favorite according to Endo in the fanbook. Also, Yor's fear of bugs makes sense since they're so tiny and quick, which makes them very difficult to take down from an assassinating perspective.

While Anya plays with the sheep at the petting zoo, Yor is finally able to fully relax for the first time in days, since she got the cruise assignment. She doesn't have to do anything in that moment besides watch Anya enjoying herself to the fullest in this lovely, peaceful little town. She tells Loid how peaceful she feels while also thinking to herself that she hopes this peace could last forever. Out of all the activities they did together, the reason this particular scene is so emphasized is because it perfectly portrays the reason Yor decided to keep being Thorn Princess back on the ship – so that children, whether her little brother Yuri, Anya, Gram, or whoever, can live freely and innocently in a peaceful world. And, when she expresses to Loid how peaceful she feels here, he says that he feels the same way.

As I just discussed, Twilight was not in "Loid Forger acting mode" here, so the reason he honestly agrees with her is because he's fighting for the same thing. Like I mentioned in Part 21, Twilight and Yor continue to do their ugly, thankless jobs in order to secure the peace of future generations.

When it's time for them to head back to the ship, Yor's exhaustion finally gets the best of her, forcing Twilight to carry both her and Anya in his arms on the way back. While he's a bit perturbed at first since some onlookers were snickering at him, it didn't take long for him to give into his feelings in that moment – namely, his genuine appreciation of Yor's sacrifice so that Anya could have a wonderful day with both parents. Though it's not a long scene, I think this is one of the most significant scenes for their relationship thus far (along with the post-Fiona date). Why is it so significant? Because there was no reason for Twilight to put on any Loid Forger acting in that moment, since he wasn't conversing with nor being scrutinized by anyone.

So why would he give that soft smile followed by such affectionate, comforting words as "お疲れ様/otsukaresama"? (this can be translated in many ways, but generally it's what you say to thank someone for their hard work). The answer is because it's something he truly felt...he knows all about being overworked and tired, yet Yor still made the effort to spend the day with them to make Anya happy. And, as her father (or "for the mission" in his language), he was grateful for that (now if only he knew the sacrifice she made on the larger scale!)

Many scenes in the cruise arc, as well as the resort island episode in particular, showcase that Twilight has a distinct relationship with both Yor and Anya, despite the fact that, in his mind, both relationships should be "fake." He's extremely casual with Anya, not just in his speech (more apparent in the Japanese version) and he doesn't feel any qualms about scolding her when necessary, being strict with her studies, or criticizing her weird little comments and actions that confuse him. The way he acts with Anya is more similar to how he acts with Franky than anyone else. But he's practically the opposite with Yor – despite her actions also confusing him at times, he never scolds, criticizes, or expresses disapproval of what she does. He also always speaks to her politely and, unlike most other people with whom he puts on his Loid Forger act, she's more often on the receiving end of his genuine smiles instead of his fake ones. It could be that because Anya is a child, he feels like he doesn't have to worry so much about acting in ways that would make her suspicious. Also because she's a child, she's less likely to take offense if he lets some of his negative emotions slip out. On the other hand, he knows from both the "post-Yuri's first visit" and "post-Fiona's first visit" instances that Yor has very sensitive self-esteem, so that could be why he's thoughtful about how he interacts with her, always speaking with courtesy and encouragement. He also knows the struggles she's had to go through in the past and how much she genuinely cares about Anya, which is another reason why she brings out his "softness" more often than anyone else.

In a way, Twilight's relationship with both Yor and Anya bring out a side of him that he may not realize he wants to strive for – with Anya, he can be relaxed and can drop the "nice guy" act in favor of being an exasperated but still caring father. And with Yor, he can become the polite, compassionate husband naturally, because he knows that many of her struggles and values are the same as his…he's realizing more and more about how much she sacrifices for others, and that can't help but resonate in him whenever he interacts with her. Perhaps one day he can become these personas and drop the "Loid Forger" and "Twilight" acts for good.

Continue to Part 25 ->

<- Return to Part 23

#sxf #spy family #spy x family #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #twiyor #sxf meta #sxf analysis #loid x yor #loidyor

[blues-valentine]

Dune Spoilers:

I like the Dune book series - it’s one of the first sci fic books I ever read and we all know they're the blueprint. And Deni's movies are a visual masterpiece. With that being said, I have some issues with the movies because of their use of Arab culture to build their world while most of their cast and staff isn’t even middle eastern. But I don’t feel I have the authority to talk about it so I’ll refer to some posts. (x x x)

But with a lot of criticism I disagree with the takes about the movie showing us a "white savior trope" and I don’t want to yell that media literacy is death when it comes to analyzing entertainment but yes because Paul Atreides is being portrayed as a cautionary tale since the very first introduction to Dune in the movies. Chani starts the movie explaining Arraki’s story about being invaded and under the ex rule of an imperial house and asks the following question: “Who’ll our next oppressors be?” while cutting directly to Paul and starting his journey. Paul isn’t being shown as the white savior that will free the Fremen from the imperial rule and get them the paradise they see in the prophecy. He quickly becomes a power hungry leader with a god complex and I think Dune: Part Two heavily showcases this transition. Paul spends a lot of time denying what he could be and when he has the ability to see he can win and rule the world - his greed takes over.

Paul’s ascent to power in the 3rd act isn’t even being portrayed as a good thing — it’s supposed to be dark and full of warnings about the tyrant he’ll become. It’s there in his scary speech and Chani’s face. Both Paul and Jessica are being shown as manipulative people that are leading the Fremen into false hopes and religious fanaticism. Paul knew from the very start that the Bere Gesserit were planting ideas on the Fremen about him being the one - and he knew he needed to convince the remaining doubtful people of the prophecy if he wanted them on his side for his revenge. He was using the Fremen for his vengeance agaisnt the emperor. And he might’ve fallen in love with Chani and genuinely believe his place is at Arrakis' but he quickly transforms into the Messiah that plays into people’s false worship. He knows the easiest way to control the Fremen is by playing into the prophecy.

Paul’s Atraides isn’t about a hero’s journey but mostly the journey of an anti hero. We are not supposed to think he is the good guy. In the books there’s this important quote from Frank Herbert’s himself: “No more terrible disaster could befall your people than for them to fall into the hands of a hero.” because Paul isn’t there to save them from colonialism just replacing their old oppressors (Harkonnen) with him.

And I was pleasantly surprised with the changes in Chani’s character by her having more agency by being a freedom fighter and the only one seeing the wrongs in the increasing fanaticism towards Paul and the dangers this means for her people instead of playing the passive girlfriend that sticks by his side despite him becoming everything he swore won't be like in the books. And I really hope they change some parts of her arc in the last movie and she goes against him. Or at the very least have her still present a strong opposition to his world view. It would turn their relationship more interesting than her spending 12 years as his concubine wanting to bear him children and dying for it. I think Denis seems to be planning a better way to portray the women in the last movie and I can't wait to see what he does with them.

I just feel like people will get to Dune: Messiah and be so confused as if Paul going into a dark path and becoming Arraki's next oppressor wasn't pretty much there all along.

#dune #dune part two #dune part 2 #dune movie #text post #chani kynes #paul atreides

[veethefreeelf]

Resistance is futile - O.SH

Summary: 

Your best friend had introduced you to Sehun saying you two would get along perfectly. As soon as he opened his mouth, you wanted to kill him. This is the first and last time you’ll see him, right?

Wordcount: 6.8k

Warnings: sub! x dom! dynamics (if you’re not into that, this is not the fic for you), power play, degradation, possessive Sehun, slut and whore used a lot, also baby girl and little one, nipple play (nipple clamps), silk restraints, pussy slapping, spanking, overstimulation, orgasm denial, toys, protected vaginal penetration, oral f. receiving, tit slapping.

Requested: yes, here

P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes.

‘What an asshole…’ was your first thought after meeting Oh Sehun. 

You couldn’t believe your best friend actually thought you would get along. He sounded like a cocky asshole with way too many women fawning over him which means he had a gigantic ego to come along with his abrasive personality.

“Excuse me?” you asked him. You couldn’t believe what he had just told you.

“You heard me the first time, baby girl. No need to pretend you didn’t” he said as he turned to your best friend that had just introduced you two to each other.

“I said no brats, Blake. She screams trouble. I don’t like trouble” he said to Blake, your best friend who was now regretting all of their life choices that brought them to this very moment, with you shooting daggers at them.

“Sehun, don’t be annoying. Y/N is amazing and she is very much what you usually look for trust me” she said looking back at you.

“Of all the things you have done to me, Blake, this takes the fucking cake. This guy’s an asshole. I don’t like assholes” you said, spitting his words back at him.

“Also call me ‘baby girl’ again and you’ll have your balls kicked back inside your body” you kept going.

“Y/N! Behave. You two need to sit down and talk. Come on. You both know me. You know I wouldn’t make this suggestion unless I was absolutely certain of what I was doing” Blake said as they looked between you and Sehun.

You have to give it to Blake. They have never steered you wrong in this department. You had… Let’s say… Particular tastes in the bedroom. You also didn’t want to be tied down, you were focused on your career so you wanted only sexual relationships with people. No feelings, no meeting the parents, none of that. Not now at least. 

You were looking for someone different… You wanted to be dominated but only in the bedroom and doms well… They stay doms even outside of the bedroom which clashes with your bitchy personality. You are a submissive little thing only in the appropriate scenarios. Outside of that, you are a menace and take shit from no one which is why this initial conversation with Sehun has left you not wanting to explore anything else with him.

“Usually I trust your judgment but Sehun here already said ‘I’m too curvy for him’ so I would much rather not waste my time. Degradation is fine. I draw the line at assholeness” you said as you sipped your drink.

He laughed.

“Hmm… I think Blake is right. Let’s talk. What do you say? I’ll put the assholeness away, for now” he said as he looked you up and down and licked his lips.

Fuck, he may be an asshole but he is fucking gorgeous. He made you want to throw all your principles out the window at that moment . ‘Stay strong, Y/N. Get your shit together’. 

You sighed.

“Fine. I’ll hear you out” you told him and then turned to Blake.

“As for you, you better be right about this one” you had told them.

Blake rolled their eyes and moved away from the two of you and into the party that was currently going on around you.

Sehun started leading you to a table in the back of the rooftop you were in. Understandable. You couldn’t let this conversation be heard. Not here at your office party with all your colleagues and bosses around.

“So, not a great introduction. My bad. Can you get past it?” he asked after you sat down.

“Don’t know yet. Want to hear more. Blake said there was a reason they thought we would be good together and that intrigues me so why don’t you start by telling me what you want and what you are looking for in this… relationship” you answered him and opened the floor for him to change your mind.

“Well, not sure what Blake has told you about me but I’m a very busy person. Don’t have time for the typical relationship nor am I interested in that for now. I want someone who is looking for the same thing. I am very dominant in the bedroom which means I am looking for someone to be submissive to me. Always. No switching ever. As for kinks… Degradation, overstimulation, orgasm denial and a few more. We can talk about it in more detail after. My hard limit is anything relating to bringing other people into the bedroom. No fucking chance. I don’t like sharing. That’s the basics. What about you?”

‘Interesting’ you thought. Blake did know how to pick them for you.

“Pretty much the same for me. I’m focused on my career, don’t have time and don’t want a traditional relationship. Over the years I’ve been looking for someone to have more of a permanent deal. I’m sick and tired of having to look for different partners. I am very submissive in the bedroom. I do have some bratty tendencies but not too much. As I’m sure you figured out, outside of the bedroom, it’s a different story. I will not be talked to in the same way outside of the bedroom as I am talked to in the bedroom. As for kinks, those are fine. We can discuss more later, if we’re both interested. My hard limit is anything anal. Not my jam” you finished and he smiled.

“Sounds good to me. Want to get out of here?” he asked you.

Did you? Yes, you did. But was this the right choice? You were still on the fence about him due to his wonderful opening line but you do see some potential. You can always go home with him now and if it’s not what you were looking for or not worth having to deal with his smart mouth, you can just call it off right there.

“I do. But let’s say this is on a trial basis for tonight. Let’s see if we’re a good fit. If not, we go our separate ways” you told him.

“Sounds good. Let’s go then” he said as he got up from his seat.

“My apartment okay?” he asked you.

“Sure, if you murder me, Blake will know it was you so all good” you said jokingly and he laughed.

As he drove the both of you to his apartment, you kept looking over at him driving. He was sexy. Very sexy. He has a resting best face most of the time but so do you. Oh but it looks much better on him though.

He interrupted your thoughts.

“Like what you see?” he asked as he looked over at you when he stopped at a red light.

“Yes, but I’m sure that’s not surprising to you. For an asshole, you’re very intriguing” you told him and started to look out the window.

“About the ‘baby girl’ thing… Is that an in public rule or a hard no?” he asked you and you laughed.

“In public rule. I don’t mind it in the appropriate setting” you told him.

“Good to know. Any other pet names you like?” he asked again.

“‘Little one’ is my favorite. Not very common but I read it in a book once and fell in love with it” you told him and he hummed.

The rest of the ride to his apartment was silent. But it wasn’t uncomfortable. 

He led you through his apartment door and you were able to walk in and look around a bit when he moved to take off his jacket and shoes. It was a nice apartment. Simple. Light colors. Lots of room. You could see a small bed and a chest with some dog toys next to the couch.

“You have a dog?” you asked excitedly.

“Yeah, his name is Vivi. He isn’t here tonight though” he said and you tried not to show your disappointment.

 He laughed.

“Wanted to meet him, huh?” he asked you.

“Sorry, I love dogs. Kind of my only weakness in life really” you answered and smiled.

“Be good tonight and I’ll think about letting you meet him” he told you and you gulped.

“Using your puppy against me already?” you asked him.

“Let’s call this taking advantage of an opportunity” he said as he started to walk over to you.

“Take off your jacket, shoes and dress and meet me in the bedroom” he told you and leaned in closer to you.

“Last door on the right” he whispered in your ear while holding your chin as he started walking in the direction he told you.

You took your jacket, shoes and dress off and took a deep breath. ‘Here we go again’ you thought. Let’s hope this one is the right one.

You walked into the bedroom and he was standing in front of the bed staring at you.

“Took your time. Are you nervous, little one?” he asked and your breath got stuck in your throat. 

Oh he’s going to be fun, that’s for sure.

“Tricky dress, that’s all” you tried saying confidently.

He moved closer to you and started to kiss you. His hands were holding your face. He kept moving the both of you until your back reached the back wall of his bedroom.

You don’t know how long the both of you stayed there just making out. He was a great kisser. If this was any indication of what was to come, you were definitely going to want more once tonight ends.

He started to move away from you and was staring you up and down.

“How far do you want me to go tonight? Pick a safeword either way” he told you as he started to take off his shirt.

“Surprise me. That’s what safewords are for. Let’s stick to colors. Always works” you told him as you stared at his naked torso now.

“Hmm… let’s test some things” he said and started walking to his closet.

He pulled a box from his closet and started to move towards the bed.

“Lay down close to the headboard, little one” he told you and you did what he asked.

He took out silk restraints from the box and moved closer to you. He started to restrain both your hands against the headboard and you moaned a bit. 

“Too tight?” he asked, looking at you.

“No, perfect” you told him.

“Baby girl likes pain. Noted” he told you and moved to lay on top of you. 

He started kissing you again and you pulled on the restraints. ‘This is going to be tough’ you thought. You liked to touch your partners and you definitely wanted to touch him, very much.

He started kissing down your neck, kissing your collarbones, kissing down your chest. It felt like he wanted to cover your whole body in kisses. It felt so good. His lips were beautiful and he seemed to be enjoying himself terribly, humming and sighing as he kissed you, which made you wetter and wetter by the second.

Once he was done you were both breathing hard and he leaned back on his heels and stared at you while running his hands up and down your thighs.

You were getting impatient. You wanted him to keep going, to do something, anything. You pulled on your restraints stupidly and he started to stare into your eyes as he laughed.

“Patience is a virtue, little one. Also, resistance is futile at this point” he said as he grabbed your thighs with a bit more power.

“You sure are taking your time staring at someone too curvy for your taste” you bit back at him.

He spanked your thigh. Hard.

“No talking back. And that’s a line I use on every potential match I meet. I enjoy the reactions and can get a sense of what to expect from someone based on that. Now can we move on from that or are you going to bring it up again and not get fucked at all?” he asked you sternly.

You stayed silent and he started to shake his head.

“Use your words and answer me now” he told you as he started to look through the box that was now next to him on the bed.

“I won’t bring it up again” you said and he stared at you.

Not good enough. You knew better than that.

“I won’t bring it up again, sir” you tried again and he hummed, satisfied.

“Good girl” he said and took out a small vibrator from the box.

“Let’s keep having fun, yeah little one?”

“Yes, sir”

He turned on the vibrator and started to move it up your legs as he leaned down to kiss you again. 

He pushed the vibrator against your clit through your panties and you moaned loudly into his mouth.

He started to kiss your neck and leave hickies as he increased the power on the vibrator. He pushed the palm of his hand against your pussy and trapped the vibrator between your clit and his hand. 

You were getting louder now, your breaths were shallow and you were starting to get closer and closer to the edge. 

“You sound so good, baby girl. Hmm I knew you would the moment I looked at you” he said and you were dripping now. Panties ruined and about to reach your peak and he completely removed himself and the vibrator from you and you sighed.

“Holding your complaints. What a good girl” he told you as he turned off the vibrator and placed it next to him.

“Open your eyes and look at me” he told you and you obeyed.

He grabbed your pussy and started massaging your clit slowly.

“You’re gonna be a good girl and take a few more of those. I’m gonna taste you now. You’re fucking dripping. I bet you taste phenomenal” he told you as he started to take off your panties.

Orgasm denial is not your strength but it seems that’s the game to play tonight and if you play right, you might get a very good reward. You will do your fucking best.

After taking off your panties, he moved up to pull your bra up and started sucking your tits. He kept leaving hickies everywhere which you would need to worry about tomorrow when trying to hide them but definitely wouldn’t worry about them now.

You kept humming and you wanted to touch him so bad. You hated these restraints right now.

He moved down your body and started to eat you out. He focused on your clit at first. Sucking, licking, biting while both of his hands massaged your tits and pinched your nipples. 

You were moaning so loudly now. This felt incredible. Not enough to make you cum but enough to make you want him desperately. 

You pulled on your restraints again.

He lifted his head and smiled at you.

“Stop pulling on those or they will leave a mark. Use your words, baby girl. Tell me what you want from me and I might just give it to you” he told you as he kept pinching and twisting your nipples.

“Need more, sir. Please” you asked in your best begging voice. Fuck this was getting you wetter.

“Tell me exactly what you want, little one” he told you and started to kiss your clit.

“Your fingers, please, sir. I need your fingers” you sounded desperate but you didn’t care.

“Good girl” he said and started to finger you while his mouth focused on your clit.

His other hand now moved from your tit to your neck and he tentatively squeezed you. He looked back at you to see your reaction.

“Green, green, sir. Green” you told him and he laughed into your pussy.

He started to choke you harder and kept eating you out and fingering you. You were so fucking close again. You tried pretending like you weren’t close but he was inside you and could feel you starting to squeeze his fingers a little too hard and he pulled back completely from you.

“Fuck” you had let out and he spanked your thigh hard three times.

“You’ll take everything I give you and thank me for it, understood?” he asked, now massaging the place on your thigh he had just spanked.

“Y..Yes, sir… Sorry, sir…” you said as your breathing was evening out.

He moved away from you and got up from the bed. You stared at him and started to worry at first but then realized he was just removing the rest of his clothing.

After he removed the remaining pieces of clothes, you stared at him. He was hard and he truly was beautiful from head to toe. Even his dick was gorgeous. Perfect size and just staring at you. You started salivating and he gave you a short laugh.

Sehun joined you on the bed again and started to rub the tip of his cock in your folds. You started to move your hips with him and you were both panting now. He was also getting impatient, you could tell.

He sat back on his heels and leaned over to get the vibrator again. He turned it on and placed it on your clit on the lowest setting. He again trapped the vibrator between his hand and your clit and applied pressure.

With his other hand he started to stroke his cock and he kept staring at you.

Your moans were increasing again. With each orgasm he denies you, you get more and more sensitive and desperate to cum. He just started this third round and you are already getting desperate and getting close.

“Getting desperate, baby girl? You’re being so good, just a bit longer, I promise” he told you and as he finished his sentence he moved his cock closer to your pussy and pushed just the head against your hole.

Your breath hitched. Fuck, you really need him to fuck you. Bad. No more games.You need him now.

“Please… Please, sir… I’m so close…” you said and you looked between your bodies where he was holding his cock barely against your hole.

He leaned down to bite on one of your nipples and you started getting louder again and he removed himself from you completely. Again.

You were breathing really fast and started to whine and he leaned into your ear to praise your efforts. 

He did this exact same torture two more times. No one had ever denied you 5 times in a row. You were losing your mind and you were starting to lose your patience but at the same time he had made you feel like no one else had. Addicted. Desperate. You wanted to keep going. You wanted to continue getting praise. You wanted to be his good girl. His baby girl. 

He leaned his forehead in yours now and just whispered ‘so good’ over and over again. You could tell this was exactly what he was looking for too and you wanted to keep going.

He closed the box next to him and put it on the floor next to the bed. He reached back up to you and started to remove the silk restraints from you and you started to get excited.

“You were so good for me. You get to touch now” he said.

“Finally” you whispered and wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss him. 

You kept kissing for a while and moaning with your naked bodies intertwined and suddenly he pulled away.

He moved to the nightstand to get the condoms and started to roll one on his dick as you stared at him and licked your lips. 

He got closer to you and flipped you over so you were laying on your stomach. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under your stomach to lift your ass up and he started to move his cock up and down your pussy again.

He spanked your ass and entered you without any warning. You were so wet and he had tortured you for so long that it was easy for him to just move into you until he bottomed out.

He didn’t give you any more warnings and he started to pound into you from behind. One of his hands was holding your hip and the other was pulling your hair and head back.

Fuck, you knew you weren’t gonna last and he seemed to be in the same both as you. 

“Touch yourself for me, little one” he told you and you moved your hand down to your clit and you knew you would soon be done.

You were being loud and so was he. Grunting and moaning and his movements started getting sloppier and you started getting closer and closer. He spanked you one last time and that drove you over the edge and you came with a cry of his name.

You kept moaning and your vision went white. This had been the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had. 

You were still coming down from your orgasm and he bit down on your shoulder and spilled into the condom. 

He was holding himself up with one arm, half laying on you while the both of you recovered. 

You started to fall asleep. You were so absolutely satisfied but completely exhausted. You felt Sehun get up and when he came back he was not letting you sleep in peace.

“Come on, little one. Don’t get bratty on me now. Let’s take a shower and then you can sleep, okay?”

You grumbled and turned away from him. 

He spanked you again. This time lightly in comparison to the spanks from before.

“Move, lazy girl” he laughed as he told you.

You got up and you both showered and got back into bed. 

“In case it’s not clear, I’m staying over. Might fall asleep in the Uber if I leave now” you told him as you started to feel cozy and warm in his bed.

“Of course, Y/N. I wasn’t going to kick you out after that. I’m not a complete asshole” he said as he also started to get comfortable.

“Hmm… No ‘Y/N’ in here. Don’t ruin in” you told him and he huffed a laugh.

“Deal, little one. I’m assuming I meet your criteria and we can do this regularly then?” he asked you and you barely heard him as you were already starting to drift off to sleep.

“Yes, sir. Absolutely. Let’s talk tomorrow. I’m sleepy” you told him and you don’t remember if he answered since you fell asleep almost instantly.

You woke up the next morning and it was all good. Nothing was awkward. Sehun tried offering you breakfast but you told him you needed to go to get ready for a friend’s birthday brunch. You exchanged phone numbers and the deal was on.

It was great finally having someone you could do this regularly with who wanted the same thing as you. Sure, you had been wrong before but Sehun seemed different. He was like you. This time, there would be no hidden feelings and no complications, no. You would simply hang out when you needed to relieve some tension and that was it.

You had talked a few times over text which generally would be against your rules but he immediately told you ‘don’t overthink it, I think we’re really similar and I think you’re cool so I want to be friends and we can keep both things separate if it makes you feel better’. And it did make you feel better. He was a great guy. Funny. And you shared the same sense of humor so being friends with him was easy and you both knew there was no secret intentions behind this friendship or your deal.

Unfortunately, the only thing that had happened between you two in the next week was those text messages. He had been very busy with some company-wide situation and you were also busy getting ready for the final presentation of your deal to one of our clients. And, tonight you had the final company party of the year to announce the goals for the rest of this quarter and next year’s goals.

You and Blake arrived together at the party since neither of you wanted to drive, you chose to take an Uber together.

The party looked great. As usual. The board spared no expenses in order to make you all feel a part of something real and meaningful. You were grateful. This has been the first job where you felt happy and content with management and your growth in the company.

You and Blake sit at your table and thank fuck you were seated at the same table. Just because you were overall happy with the company, doesn’t mean there weren’t some bad apples in the company that you definitely did not want to sit next to and have to deal with all night.

You started to hear a really loud laugh. It was a funny laugh at first and made you laugh yourself but you started to get annoyed. You just had to have the table by the loudest most annoying laugh in the room. Of course.

You turned around to check out who was the culprit. You had to know in order to avoid them next time you were in this situation.

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Oh Sehun. Of course. Why was his laugh this loud? For what reason? And the way he switched between his loud laugh and an absolute resting bitch face was something to marvel at for sure.

But… Why was he here? You were confused. You had never seen him at any company-wide party before. And you absolutely had never heard this laugh before, you would have remembered it. Had you missed him completely before? 

It seemed you had stared a bit too long at him and he sensed it because now he was looking at you and lifting his class up to signal he saw you. You lifted a brow at him, rolled your eyes and turned away from him.

“Did Sehun always work for this company? How have I never seen him before and why would you tell me to fuck him? You know I don’t like to dip my pen in the company ink…” you asked Blake when most of your table was gone.

“Because I knew you two would get along and I knew you would immediately tell me no if you knew he worked at the company. Pretty obvious, actually” they answered you.

“Besides, he is so high up in the chain you won’t ever see him around anyways. I’m actually surprised he’s here tonight. There’s always some excuse for him not to make it” they added.

“Great. I’m fucking one of my bosses, Wonderful. Thanks!” you said to Blake sarcastically.

“You’re welcome aaaaaand he’s coming this way so I’m gonna go. Have fun, be safe!” they told you before they got up and left.

“Hey, Y/N. Sorry for the surprise. Didn’t want to ruin a good thing” he said as he sat down in Blake’s now empty seat.

“You chose right. Had I known, this would never have happened and that would be unfortunate wouldn’t it?” you asked as you started to flirt with him. 

You needed him badly and now that he was here, you needed to make your intentions very clear about how you want tonight to end.

“Meet me at the entrance at 11:30. Don’t be late” he told you and left to go back to his table.

The night seemed to go by very, very slow, more so now that you knew what awaited you after you left. You were pretending to hear whatever one of your very boring colleagues was trying to tell you about but you were lost in your thoughts and you didn’t even notice his hand touching your arm. 

As soon as you noticed, you flinched and backed away from him. You ended up telling him off completely. He shouldn’t have tried to touch you without your consent and if he tried anything else with you, HR would be hearing all of this. 

You got up and were walking to the bathroom when someone grabbed your elbow and pulled you closer.

“It’s me. Quite the show with your colleague. I should fire him just for even looking at you” Sehun growled in your ear.

“You shouldn’t surprise people this way either. Almost elbowed you in the ribs. And I can defend myself. He already got an earful” you told him.

“Let’s go now before someone else decides to touch what’s mine” he told you and started to move towards the entrance.

“What’s yours? That deal is off outside the bedroom, Sehun” you told him as you followed him out the venue, 

“No, it isn’t. I told you. I don’t like sharing. That’s my hard limit. And you want to start fucking up now? Already? Fine. I’ll fucking show you tonight then” he told you as he turned around and got very close to your lips.

This was the second time he was driving you both to his apartment. This time, however, he was in a very different mood. His resting bitch face was out and he was gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white.

This was going to be a very interesting night.

He parked the car in the garage and before you could open the door to get out he spoke up.

“Here’s the code to my apartment. Get in. Strip down completely and wait for me on the bed. Don’t speak. Go. Now.”

You said nothing and started making your way up. You were very wet already. Why was he so sexy when he got like this? ‘Fucking unfair’ you thought.

You got into the apartment and quickly took off all your clothes and moved to sit on the bed. You didn’t know how long he was going to take but you didn’t want to risk it. It already seemed like you would be in for a very long night,you didn’t need to make this any worse for yourself. 

As you were finishing your thoughts, he walked through the bedroom door and didn’t say a word. He took off all his clothes except his underwear and moved to his closet. You already knew what he was going to get but right now you couldn’t decide if you should be excited or scared.

He placed the box on the bed and stared at you. He looked you over from head to toe and his face had such intensity… Excited. You were definitely excited. Being scared has disappeared from your mind completely.

“Move up. No fucking touching for you again. Not until you learn” he told and you gulped.

You moved up on the bed as he told you to.

“I didn’t know that applied outside of the bedroom. You mentioned sharing in that sense, I didn’t know you meant outside of it. And, I didn’t want him to touch me. He did it without my consent. I wasn’t paying attention, I was–”

“It doesn’t matter. Pay attention next time. Don’t want to have to sit there and watch that. Even if it isn’t welcome. Now that you know that it applies to in and outside of the bedroom, I’m going to give you an out. If you take it, we are done. With the deal, I mean. If you don’t take it, I expect you to take care of what’s mine when I’m not around” he told you as he started to take the silk restraints out of the box.

Usually possessiveness was not something that you enjoyed but to be fair, you get it. You wouldn’t want to share him with anyone either. 

“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know. I’ll be better from now on. Promise” you told him and looked straight into his eyes so he knew you meant it.

He started to restrain your hands against his headboard and you just stared at him. He wasn’t going to be nice tonight, you know that much.

“Safeword?” he asked after he was satisfied with the restrains on your wrists.

“Colors, sir” you said as you started to lay down. 

As soon as your head hit the pillow, he climbed over you and started to kiss you. Shit, you had forgotten how good of a kisser he was. You could just kiss him for hours like this. You were starting to moan and he bit your lip hard and moved away from you.

“This is a punishment. Your enjoyment doesn’t matter tonight, understood?” he asked you and you nodded and agreed. You figured as much.

He moved to the box and pulled out nipple clamps. This was new for you. You had never tried this before. Your nipples were very sensitive so you weren’t sure how this was going to feel but you wanted to find out.

He looked over at you and raised his brow at you. You knew what he was silently asking you.

“Green, sir” you said and he nodded.

He started to massage your breasts and kiss you again.

And as soon as you forgot what he was holding in his hands, he clamped one of your nipples and you gasped. He started to kiss you again and kept massaging your breasts and he surprised you again with the other clamp. It felt different. Painful but pleasurable at the same time. Difficult to describe, but you knew you were getting wetter.

He placed a kiss on each of your breasts and took the small vibrator out of the box. He turned it on to the highest setting and smirked. Oh. You get it now. He’s going to try and push you to your limit. You gulped.

He looked over at you and slapped your pussy. So hard. You almost came right then. You were being stimulated in ways you’ve never had been before and it was all overwhelming in the best way. 

He got up, took his underwear off and got back on the bed. He was kneeling between your legs and started to run his hands up and down your legs while he stared at your pussy.

“You’re pretty everywhere, you know that?” he asked as he kept staring at your pussy.

“Thank you, sir. You are too” you said as you stared right back at him.

He took the vibrator and placed it on your clit. In the highest setting. He trapped it between his hand and your clit and you knew this move by heart now. Except this time, you don’t think he will deny you your orgasm. You have a feeling he is going with the other end of the spectrum. 

He leaned over and started kissing your neck. He began pushing the vibrator against your clit harder and then softer. He was alternating rhythms constantly and you were losing it already.

You started to pant and moan so loud and he could tell you were close and before you knew it, you came. 

He didn’t move his hand away, not even a little bit. He kept the vibrator right against your clit and didn’t even give you time to recover from your high.

“Sensitive, please… Wait a bit, sir, please” you begged.

“No. Take it. Silently. I only wanna hear you moan or say my name. No complaining or it gets worse” he warned you.

You started to whine but you pushed through. You wanted to be good for him. Desperately.

He leaned back on his heels and kept pressing the vibrator onto your clit. With his other hand he started to massage your breasts softly and you hissed. 

“Fuck…” you heard him curse almost in a whisper. He was already getting affected too.

He stopped massaging your breasts and started to stroke his cock with his free hand while pressing the vibrator against your clit and he started the abuse on your clit again by alternating the pressure. 

He kept stroking his cock and removed the vibrator from your clit. He now placed it on your hole and kept pushing it in for a few seconds and taking it out until you could only feel the vibrations against your hole.

Fuck, this was a new kind of torture. You wanted to touch him, you wanted to be the one stroking his cock. You started to stare at his cock and you were whining now.

“Next time be good and you might be the one doing this” he told you and you looked up.

He kept this pace with the vibrator in and out of your pussy entrance. With his other hand, he stopped stroking his cock and placed his fingers on your clit. He started to do figure eights on your clit and you knew you were going to be gone soon.

A few more strokes like this and you were over the edge again. You could feel yourself dripping and your pussy hole kept clenching around nothing now that he moved the vibrator away.

He again gave you no time to recover and pushed the vibrator back to your clit. His other hand went to your hole and he started to finger you. Two fingers at first and quickly he added a third and started an aggressive pace that had you seeing stars. 

Soon enough, you were close again and you started moaning again very loudly. You were never this loud before. Tears were flowing down your face and as you came a third time.

As you were coming down from your high, he removed his hands and vibrator from you and unclamped both your nipples. He started to massage your breasts and as the blood flow came back to your nipple, you started to wail. You had never felt anything like this before. Your orgasm had been amplified like never before. Your eyes were shut and you kept panting and moaning and whining.

Sehun was now whispering in your ear words you haven’t heard all night.

“Such a good girl. My baby girl. You’re so good. You’re so good to me. We’re almost done. Almost done. Promise” he continued praising and reassuring you.

Once you opened your eyes, you could see he was staring down at you and he had a worried look on his face.

“Color, little one?”

“Green, sir… G..Green” you said weakly but you didn’t want him to stop. He had to fuck you.

“Please, keep going. Fuck me, sir… Please… I need it” you were begging.

“Shhh… I will, little one. Remember your colors and tell me if it’s too much” he told you before he started to hold his cock by your entrance.

Much like last time, he grabbed a condom and pushed in, easily. He started to thrust hard against you. He set a very fast and hard pace. He was reaching places inside you you didn’t think was possible.

He leaned back a bit, lifted your hip with one hand and pushed down on your stomach with his other hand. In this position and with his hand pushing down on you, he was hitting your g-spot constantly and so fucking hard. It was only a matter of time.

The hand that was holding your hip moved to your clit and as soon as he pinched your clit you came again. You were squeezing his cock so hard, it was hard for him to move inside you but he kept going.

“One more. One more, little one…” he said as he was nearing his end as well.

He placed both your legs on his shoulder and he continued pounding into you. 

He grabbed one of your tits and started to pinch your nipple and with his free hand he again pushed down on your clit. It wasn’t long before you came again and he finished a few seconds after you.

You don’t remember much after that. You were so exhausted. You needed to sleep and after making sure you were okay and releasing your wrists from the headboard, he let you rest.

You woke up in his bed and he was already up and was scrolling on his phone.

“Let’s do this exclusively, yeah? I’m not sure if you planned to see other people, but I meant it with the ‘no sharing’. You’re too good for that” he told you, eyes still facing his phone.

“I didn’t plan on seeing anyone else. No sharing it is. Exclusive deal but still the same deal” you told him, now moving off of the bed to go shower.

“Of course. Same deal” he told you as he lifted his head from his phone and smiled at you.

You were reminded to thank Blake later. 

Not only have they found you a good friend, but also your perfect dom.

Hey guys! I hope you guys enjoy this one. A lot of things were new for me here but I enjoyed writing this a lot! As usual, please let me know in the comments and such if you enjoyed reading it 💕 Thank you for supporting me! CHEERS 🥂

#oh sehun smut #sehun smut #oh sehun fanfic #sehun fanfic #exo smut #exo fanfic #oh sehun x reader #sehun x reader #anon ask #requested #vee's writings

[somethingpersonarelated]

Akechi's taste in Literature

I've taken an interest in the books Akechi reads. Obviously from the first time you talk with him, you can already tell what he tends to: psychology, philosophy, and mythos. Also, I read at least a little bit from every text. One of my professors out there is proud of me. I hope. So: let's talk about it!

Ok, but why care? Quick Introduction

No particular reason. I simply want to tinker with his brain. I think it could give us insight on the character! And there's an easy way to dismiss this conversation: Akechi uses books as a way to appear intelligent. I don't think that's wrong per se, but he does express an interest in psychology and philosophy in his third semester Jazz Jin discussions. His thieves den conversations also point to interests in mythos. Use this as a "Annoying Person Bookshelf" if you'd like, I certainly will.

Aristole's De Anima (Mementos Mission - Chapter 3)

De Anima, or "On the Soul" [Leob Classical Library], is an examination of the soul and how it functions within the body. It's pretty dense but easily accessible. On page 15,

"There are times when men show all the symptoms of fear without any cause of fear being present. If this is the case, then clearly the affections of the soul are formulae expressed in matter."

Now, I'm not going to read every book, that would be a huge investment. And unfortunately I am still a university student, so I'll stick to the introduction/first chapters or so. But anyways, to the point of the quote, De Anima tends to get metaphysical. Theory time: Akechi has morbid fascinations with the soul. Not only because he well, kills people, but also messes with the restraints on their heart. I choose this quote because it's a good summary of the kind of body horror someone messing with you in the metaverse is like. It's fear and anger unchained, but it manifests in reality through subway accidents... for example.

Hegel's Dialectics (did Akechi misquote Hegel?) - Rank 1

Look, almost all of these texts are slogs to get through, so I wouldn't blame Akechi for not catching this. Or not reading the 2017 in-universe equivalent of cliffnotes. Note: Dialectics refers to the structure/strategy that Hegel uses, not a text itself. Looking at the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy we see that Hegel never makes mention of the thesis, antithesis, and synthesis idea. Rather, thesis-antithesis-synthesis is a pattern in his arguments. These are also projected by people reading his text, so we can't fully be sure he's using this to formulate most of his arguments. So not only has Akechi forgotten synthesis, the "unification", but also the fact that Hegel doesn't talk about this. Did he read Hegel? Probably. Did he retain the information? Questionable. Do I blame the writers for making the mistake? mmmm. Maybe. If you're asking me to guess which book he read, I would estimate it was The Phenomenology of Spirit [Google Books]. And yes, I'm going to say it was just because of this quote on page 9 that just, screams Black Mask:

"The force of the mind is only as great as expression; its depth only as, as deep as its power to expand and lose itself when spending and giving out its substance."

Maurice Leblanc's Arsène Lupin vs Sherlock Holmes (Herlock Sholmes) (P5A)

This book I read because my curiosity definitely got the better of me. Since I've gotten into Persona 5 again, I've been DYING to read this one, but never got around to it. I think this one is also interesting to look at based on how it was represented in the anime, a crow escaping a bird cage. I can say that this doesn't happen in the book, but this is why I think Akechi is self inserting on Holmes/Sholmes here. Holmes is much freer as a person in this text than Akechi, but also in a deep rivalry with Lupin. Their banter is also pretty reminiscent of what they [Joker and Akechi] have, but... with older language. Longer quote, so here's an image in its place:

Edit/Correction: Edogawa Ranpo's Kogoro Akechi Series!

As pointed out by a couple people, we can't leave out this series. (credits to @heavy-metal-papillon) I don't know why my mind blanked and left this out. Because when I was doing research for this post someone had mentioned it. Just by name, it should be obvious why this is here! Here is a part of the preface that explains Kogoro Akechi, Arsene Lupin, and their presence in Edogawa's novels (written by Ho-Ling Wong):

Literature he makes references but doesn't mention (note: headcanon/my opinion)

John Stuart Mill's On Utilitarianism

Because Akechi knows how to flirt, he recommends philosophy to Joker. [Early Modern Texts] In my eyes he definitely doesn't agree with this philosophy (in fact some quotes are definitely more aligned with Maruki's philosophy). Page 8:

"That’s because the utilitarian standard is not •the agent’s own greatest happiness but •the greatest amount of happiness altogether; and even if it can be doubted whether a noble character is always happier because of its nobleness, such a character certainly makes other people happier, and the world in general gains immensely from its existence."

Yes, Akechi reads Freud. Freud's essays: Beyond the Pleasure Principle & The Ego Principle

In an offhanded comment about Personas in the Thieves Den to Ryuji, Akechi says:

I love you Akechi. I will not read Freud for you. My love has limits.

Carl Jung's Two Essays on Analytical Psychology

Okay I'm NOT reading this (a lie, i did. [Internet Archive]) but this was the foundational text on the Jungian Archetype of the Persona as well as addressing concepts such as "the will to power." Going to leave this quote from page 78 for you to munch on:

"Logically, the opposite of love is hate, and of Eros, Phobos (fear); but psychologically it is the will to power. Where love reigns, there is no will to power; and where the will to power is paramount, love is lacking. The one is but the shadow of the other..."

There's a couple things here that point to Akechi reading this, but ultimately I just headcanon that he wants to reason through why Personas exist.

Generally reads about the casts Personas!

Similarly to how Joker can read about the other PTs Personas, Akechi does as well. Well, if his morbid discussion about Captain Kidd in the Thieves Den is an indicator. Does this mean Akechi is familiar with the Carmen stage opera? I think so. Besides, it's also the smartest move. Akechi (head)canonically reads lovecraft.

Conclusion

Akechi really enjoys psychology and philosophy, and while some of it seems like he's doing it for attention/to appear smarter, he DOES continue to show interest in third-semester/thieves den. I still can't forgive him for reading Freud.

The List (of ones directly mentioned here)

De Anima, Aristotle

The Phenomenology of Spirit, Hegel

Arsène Lupin vs Sherlock Holmes, Leblanc

On Utilitarianism, John Stuart Mill

Beyond the Pleasure Principle & The Ego Principle, Freud

Two Essays, Carl Jung

The Fiend with Twenty Faces, Edogawa Ranpo

Other notes and headcanons I can't justify giving sections to:

he probably read that fuckass billiards book

definitely stuff on justice. i was just lazy. Some of these texts do cover these ideas, but definitely not all of them

he likes detective novels. he's probably read a fair share of sherlock holmes.

he probably reads adjacent literature to some of the philosophers mentioned (for example: Nietzsche to Jung, Plato to Aristotle)

#goro akechi #p5 meta #p5r #p5 #akechi goro #akechi #thinking emoji #making goro akechi's philosophies everyone's problem

[howtofightwrite]

Followup: Oragnized Crime Recruitment

The Godfather book and the Mafia games, specifically the first Mafia game, are the closest examples of what the Original Asker wants for his game. Goodfellas is another potential example to base the process of one's recruitment into the criminal underworld. In general, recruitment in fiction is generally based on doing jobs and earning a reputation as to one's success at doing jobs. In Goodfellas, Henry Hill started off doing simple, legal-ish errands for the local mafia before the gangsters saw his potential and entrusted him with more illegal jobs. Original Asker's character could therefore be someone who is affiliated with a mobster, but not part of the inner circle until the character pulls off jobs which makes them someone worth recruiting to the organization. Or one could go the Tommy Angelo route and save a mobster's life. -ironwoodatl01

So, it's worth remembering that Goodfellas is (in broad strokes) non-fiction. Henry Hill was a real person. (1943-2012) He was an associate of the Lucchese family. There are some historical, “inaccuracies,” with the film. Though, his arrest in 1980 for narcotics, and turning state's witness is historically accurate, though the film skims over the part where he was ejected from the witness protection program in 1987. Goodfellas was adapted from Nicholas Pileggi's non-fiction book, Wiseguy. I haven't read the book, but it's plausible that some of the historical discrepancies may have come from the book.

In this case, the OP specifically wanted to avoid a background where someone grew up in the neighborhood. Which, I mean, that is their choice, but it is a very popular recruitment method, in part because it's very effective at screening out potential cops, or even recruiting potential tame cops down the line.

Ironically, thinking back now, Mafia, the original Saints Row, and Franklin's arc from GTA5 are all potential reference points for what the OP wanted, and thinking back on it now, they were asking for input on a game, rather than prose, so I should have factored that in with the original ask. The tricky thing about each of those examples is that they're dependent on a lot of very specific moving parts in their respective stories. (Though, to be fair, I barely remember the original Mafia.) None of them are strictly realistic, but they're all internally plausible, when you start factoring in the various character motivations at work.

For some reason, I'm reminded of the Thieves Guild recruitment in Skyrim, which is one of the goofiest criminal recruitments I've seen in a non-parody. Brynjolf grabs some random psychopath wandering through and says, “ah, yes, you must be a master of pickpocketing and interested in a life of crime.” Does it make any sense? Nope. Does it go a long way towards explaining why the Thieves Guild is falling apart? Yeah, kinda, when you think about it. Does the introduction work? For some players, yes.

If the player wants to get into a questline, the justification can be pretty flimsy and still work for that player. Usually we talk about suspension of disbelief like it's a universal constant, but it's individual per member of your audience. Normally, you want to do whatever you can to ensure the suspension of disbelief is as strong as possible. However, in a game, the player's own emotional investment can help shore up weak points.

I'm going to take a quote out of context (a little), but I'm reminded of a quote from Richard K. Morgan about Halo, “[it] is full of these bullshit archetypal characters and there's no real emotional effect.” And, while he was certainly dragged for that quote (and, really the entire interview, it was a mess), he wasn't wrong. The writing in Halo isn't what does the heavy lifting, a large part of that is the player's effort to get through the story. And, in basically any other medium, this would be an exceptionally bad thing.

You won't make your novel better by forcing your audience to complete reflex tests before they start each chapter.

But, with video games, the gameplay interludes, can actually build emotional investment for the player. Even on very flimsy premises.

I've often written about how writing in different mediums requires different approaches and has different strengths. If you want gorgeous combat, then live action or animation are the best forms for you story. If you want visually striking images that linger, comics might be the right choice. If you really want to get into a character's head and live there, prose will let you do that with a level of fine control that is difficult to replicate. (And, note, there's a lot of different pros and cons, so this isn't an exclusive list.) The funny thing is, if you want your audience to do the heavy lifting for suspension of disbelief, that's one of the places where video game writing really shines.

And so we loop back to the Skyrim example. Brynjolf's approach to finding new talent is absolute clown shoes, but it's something you might not notice if this is why you wandered into Riften. It only becomes a problem when you're just there to snuff Grelod the Kind, or are looking for someplace to unload all this garbage you picked up while delving into a Dwemer ruin up in the mountains.

This doesn't mean you should abandon the idea of good writing, but if your player is on the same page as you, you won't need to worry about having something completely believable. For example, the plot-line of Mafia, or (the original) Saints Row.

-Starke

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#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #starke answers #how to fight write

[one-squash-one-end]

I wrote a giant Raven Cycle analysis

Hi! Over the last year or so I've been working on a sort of essay about various themes in the raven cycle series, and I finally finished it a few weeks ago.

It is titled: "Why I love The Raven Cycle - An excessive analysis of the themes of friendship, queerness and growing up".

And since tumblr loves its meta (and bc I love peer validation) I've decided to start uploading it bit by bit here, making this the masterpost (if I can figure out the logistics of the linking lmao, bear with me)

(beware of spoilers up to greywaren starting at like 3b!)

Introduction

What even is the Raven Cycle?

Trust me, the characters are queer as fuck and I can prove it a) Blue Sargent b) Gansey c) Adam Parrish d) Ronan Lynch e) Noah f) Henry Cheng g) Honorary mentions

The Gangsey is a polycule

Analyzing the reoccurring themes a) Friendship b) Being a teen/growing up c) (Found) Family d) Magic (as a metaphor) e) Further themes I appreciate

Drawing a conclusion

Click here to start with the introductory parts!

1. Introduction

So here’s the thing: I love fiction almost as much as I love my friends. There’s something deeply comforting about the escapism, even if the book actually makes me want to scream and throw it on the floor (only one book has been thrown so far, I promise!).  Fiction is a healthy thing to occupy my thoughts with: headcanons! Quotes being on loop in my brain! Just fandoms!

And for me, if I am hooked on a book (series), it does not even need a good plot where a lot of things happen. In fact, I would say that my enjoyment of a book is made up of 30% plot and about 70% characters and vibes. If the characters are bland, if they do not make me feel much emotion, it likely won’t be more than 4 stars (additional info: I am way too nice rating books!). I really, really need to love the characters, to be able to relate to some aspects of them, or it just won’t become an obsession.

Since I have already started explaining that a bit, let’s look at this question: What is important to make a book special to me? 1. I need to cry reading it. 2. I have to think about it often, even weeks to months after having read it. 3. Obviously, I need to love the characters. 4. I need to be in the fandom! This can be hard with some books, but the internet is a whimsical space allowing you to find at least a small number of people who are obsessed with a work of fiction to a similar extent as you are.

Now, why am I elaborating on this so much? It’s because The Raven Cycle did all that for me. It is my favorite comfort book series at the moment, for all those aspects mentioned, but of course I cannot just leave it at that. No, I wrote a whole-ass analysis on headcanons and some of its themes. You’re welcome.

2. What even is The Raven Cycle?

The Raven Cycle is all I adore and live for (next to my friends). So, naturally, it’s a book series, specifically a four book young adult contemporary fantasy series by American author Maggie Stiefvater. The books in question are: The Raven Boys (2012), The Dream Thieves (2013), Blue Lily, Lily Blue (2014) and The Raven King (2016), and yes I will admit that the publishing dates are a bit of a red flag. There is also the very relevant follow-up series called The Dreamer Trilogy (Call Down The Hawk, Mister Impossible, Greywaren), but it’s a lot less easy to get into that here as I do not know these entire books by heart, so I’ll stick to the original tetralogy here.

To stick to red flags, the books are set in the fictional Henrietta, a rural town in non-fictional Virginia, US, in the 2010s. However, that doesn’t really say *that* much about the plot, so let me summarize that really quick, because I can do better than the official synopsis! (Or let’s pretend I can.)

Blue Sargent comes from a family of psychics, yet she does not have any powers of her own. Even worse, she is a bit of an amplifier for the others, meaning she is always somehow but never directly involved in the business. As if that isn’t enough for an identity crisis, every psychic she has ever met has told her that her kiss would kill her true love. Yikes.

But because she is that amplifier, she comes to a church watch on St. Mark’s Eve, where psychics see the spirits of those to die within the following year. It’s important business, but to her it’s really just staring into the dark. Until she does actually see a spirit: That of Gansey. Of course this is not a coincidence. No, to add to this teen’s mount of problems, there are only two reasons why a non-seer would see someone’s spirit: They are their true love, or they killed them. Or, in Blue’s case, maybe both.

The aforementioned Gansey is Henrietta’s Golden Boy, the son of politicians (read: he’s fucking loaded). He does not run with the Republicans though, he runs with dead Welsh kings, meaning he has been searching for the probably dead, presumably sleeping Welsh king Glendower (*1350; †1416; yikes) for the past like seven years. Why the fuck would he do that? Well, legend says that he will grant a wish to whoever wakes him, and our favorite PTSD-ridden guy really wants that favor.

Aiding him are fellow Aglionby students Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch and Noah Czerny, plus Henry Cheng, though only a lot later in the series, but I really did not want to leave out that menace (affectionately) here. The paths of Blue and the boys cross because of Gansey’s search for Glendower, plus the fact that Blue works at a popular pizza place, but that’s a lot less whimsical. And, well, there’s the implication that Gansey might also be her true love, but perhaps she just kills him because of his bad fashion sense, it would be justified. Anyway, in true Famous Five fashion (Ronan is the dog; I won’t elaborate, the girls that get it, get it) they are of course not the only ones searching for the king, so it’s not completely a wholesome friend bonding activity all the way through.

Be prepared for: friendship and growing up, lots of treasure hunting, family mysteries, magical forests, illegal and slightly distasteful activities (our favorite of course), but most of all, heavily queer-coded (or even canonically queer) characters. Be Gay, Do Crime.

#y'all better like this it took a while #trc #the raven cycle #gansey #blue sargent #ronan lynch #adam parrish #noah czerny #henry cheng #the raven king #the raven boys #blue lily lily blue #the dream thieves #let's hope i don't forget about this after the first part #please talk to me about your thoughts

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Closed Position: Week 2 (Foxtrot)

Closed Position Masterlist ||| Main Masterlist Dieter Bravo x OFC (Katarina)

Series Summary: Dieter Bravo, now sober, was looking to change his bad boy image after hitting rock bottom. His team hoped that having him join the nationally televised family friendly dance competition would be a good first step, if they can keep him out of trouble. 

Katarina Stamos expected her last season as a professional dancer on Dancing with the Stars to go the same as it had for the past thirteen seasons. That all changed when she was partnered with the infamous Dieter Bravo. 

Dieter and Katarina are reluctantly thrown into their partnership and must learn to work together to succeed in the competition. In the process they form a deeper connection beyond the dance floor that neither anticipated.

Chapter Word Count: 15.7k

👉 Warnings: Themes dealing with intimate partner violence, past alcohol abuse, and past drug abuse. There will be fluff, tears, spicy language, and smut. This will be a slow burn. Read at your own risk. Dieter Bravo comes with his own warnings.

Week 2 Quote:   “What’s wrong, do I have too many buttons open or something?”

Katarina’s POV Our first week of rehearsal had gone well after the initial awkwardness dissipated. I admit, I was extremely nervous about how our introduction was going to go and didn’t really know how to handle it. I had hoped Dieter and I would get a chance to talk before filming, but that didn’t happen. I was surprised by how effortlessly he pretended it was our first-time meeting, like we hadn’t had a somewhat confrontational interaction the day before. He had put on a good show, but I could still sense the tension rolling off him as we did our quick filming session. 

I knew that we needed to discuss what happened, so as soon as we were alone, I bit the bullet and brought it up to get it out of the way. I apologized for my behavior. I had to because the things that I had said to him were eating away at my conscience. My reaction wasn’t fair to him. Was he part of the problem? Yes. However, he wasn’t the cause. He was dropped in the middle of the situation just as much as I had been. He wasn’t intentionally trying to cause trouble between me and Alec. It was Stacia and Joe who were hoping that something would develop from their plotting. Dieter was just doing as he was told.

I could tell by the look on Dieter’s face that what I said had hurt him. I had a feeling that he didn’t believe me when I said I didn’t mean it. I hadn’t intended to tell him about my father, but at that moment I felt like he needed to hear it. I wanted him to know that I was sorry and that I wasn’t like everyone else who had been doubting him. He was willing to be open with me about his sobriety, so I felt like I needed to share something personal with him as well. We were going to be partners after all. That meant we needed to learn to communicate effectively and trust each other. Starting out the way we had would’ve caused us to fall apart quickly if we didn’t right it as soon as possible.  

Dieter seemed to accept my apology and appreciate what I shared about my father. He relaxed almost immediately, which led into a teasing banter between the two of us. He ended up being nothing like I expected. He was very respectful and put in a lot of effort to learn everything I was teaching him. I had a feeling he would be a decent dancer, but I was surprised at how quickly he was picking things up and how good he was in executing the moves. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I might actually have a shot to make it to finals. I just had to make sure I stayed on top of my game to help him get there. I also had to make sure I didn’t allow myself to be attracted to the man. 

The thought of finding Dieter attractive never crossed my mind when I was told he would be my partner. I had seen pictures of him before rehab and he usually looked like a mess. However, I had to admit that the man did clean up nicely. His sweet temperament and eagerness to learn didn’t help the situation. His puppy dog eyes and golden-retriever energy made it hard to not like him. There were times when his large brown orbs would look up at me through his lashes because he was unsure about something, and it would literally take my breath away. After spending up to seven hours with him every day last week to go over the basics of ballroom dance, I couldn’t deny that I found him to be alluring. 

I found myself brushing thoughts of Dieter aside often. I couldn’t allow myself to think about him like that because I had Alec. Though, Alec did have me in a constant state of frustration that left me questioning our relationship. He had been even more insufferable since I started working with Dieter, becoming more possessive than he normally was while also being less forthcoming than normal about how things were going with his own dance partner. I couldn’t help the distrust that I still felt toward him. I had a feeling this season of the show was going to be our final test. It was either going to strengthen our relationship or break it. The way it stood after the first week, the tighter he tried to hold on, the further away he was pushing me. It was adding a lot of stress to my personal life, which was quickly causing my time with Dieter to turn into an escape and that concerned me.  

We were now into Monday of week two. The week that things really started kicking off for our grueling schedule. The agenda for this particular Monday was fairly light, physically, since Mondays would normally be a live show day. Instead of the show, we were shooting promo material, which meant all the dance couples had photoshoot sessions lined up. Dieter and I were scheduled for 11 AM, but we still had to go in early for hair and makeup. The entire cast is required to use the show’s hair and makeup team which is set up in a large room inside Television City Studios. There are stations lining the perimeter of the room, each having a large mirror surrounded by lights, a counter stocked with all the needed utensils and products, and a barber chair. 

Dieter and I both arrived around the same time and grabbed some terrible coffee from Craft Services to get us through the morning, making small talk as we headed toward hair and makeup. As soon as we entered the room, we were whisked off to stations on opposite sides of the space. He was seated directly behind me, which meant we could see each other in the mirrors. It was hard not to stare, given he was right in my line of sight. I quickly noticed him doing the same thing. When our eyes would meet in the reflection, he would often give me an exasperated look as the hair stylist struggled with his tresses, then smile. I smiled back as I watched them tame his unruly curls into a more sophisticated style. They had gelled it back, but left a hint of curl to it. I couldn’t help thinking how handsome he looked as I watched him stand and head toward the wardrobe department.

Once my ridiculous amount of makeup was applied and my hair styled into an elegant low bun with sparkly diamond-like accessories, I made my way to the wardrobe department as well. They confirmed that Dieter was my partner before going to pull a couple of dress options that would coordinate with what they had put him in. I could hear Dieter laughing loudly in the back near the fitting area as one of the tailors, who I didn’t know, came to the front and told the costume coordinator behind the desk to update Dieter’s measurements because his shoulders were too broad for what they had put him in, causing him to pop a button off the shirt already. A look passed between the two women that said they were clearly smitten with the actor. I figured he probably charmed them as soon as he walked into the room. I had already noticed that he had a way of doing that. 

As one of the costumers led me back to the changing rooms, I passed by Dieter standing in front of a mirror, bare chested as the tailor from earlier handed him another black button up shirt to try. He gave me a cheesy smile, “I’m already causing trouble. I’ve busted out of my shirt.” Fucking hell, he looks good. I was taken off guard by the sight of him, and his comment. The best I could manage was a quiet chuckle as I continued toward my destination. His broad shoulders, toned chest, and sculpted arms were now seared into my brain. He had a slim waist but was a little soft around the middle. I found it to be more attractive than Alec’s overly chiseled abs. Yeah, I’m definitely going to hell. I felt hot and flustered suddenly as I took the black and silver Latin style dress from the costumer to try on and made my way into a changing room.  

After I was dressed, I walked out to the fitting area so the tailor could look over my attire. Dieter was now fully dressed but had left several of the top buttons on his shirt open and rolled the sleeves up - which wasn’t unusual for the guys on the show. However, I was finding those small areas of exposed flesh to be incredibly distracting. It was ridiculous because it wasn’t like I hadn’t seen his forearms during rehearsals when he wore t-shirts. I had to force myself to look away from his reflection as he stood nearby chatting with the tailor about the fit of the shirt in the shoulders. I almost snorted as she recommended he continue to leave several buttons open to give him room to move freely. He didn’t say anything in response, but I did notice a slight upward twitch of his left eyebrow. A small smirk formed on his lips as the tailor smiled up at him. Smooth. I can respect her game. I looked away quickly as his eyes briefly wandered over toward me. 

Once the tailor stopped fawning over Dieter, she moved to stand in front of me, eyes roaming over me to check the fit of the dress. She reached to tug at the fabric around my breast, pulling it tighter and adjusting the straps. I rolled my head back and chanced a glance in Dieter’s direction to find him watching with a furrowed brow. The tailor backed away, “Do you want sticky inserts or do you want me to pin it back?”

I sighed, “Inserts are fine if that’ll work.” She nodded before disappearing to the back. Dieter cleared his throat, his face now looking slightly flushed, “I’ll uhhh, wait for you up front.” I gave him a tight smile as I tried not to laugh at his embarrassment over watching the tailor grope at me. After doing this for 13 years, I was used to it. A few minutes later, the tailor, who I later learned was named Amy, returned with a new set of stick-on bra cups. Luckily that helped solve my issue and she sent me on my way so that we could get to the photographer on time. 

As I emerged into the front waiting area, Dieter gave me a mischievous smirk, “Did you get everything sorted out.”

I looked down at my chest, cupped both breasts in my hands briefly before looking back up at him with a blank expression, “Yeah, I think so. They aren’t popping out now.” His eyes widened before he burst out laughing. That hadn’t been the response he was expecting. I chuckled as I turned him to face the exit and pushed him toward it. 

When we walked into the room where the photographer was set up, my eyes were drawn to Alec and Lana being photographed. They were full of giggles and smiles as they posed for their promo shots. They weren’t doing anything inappropriate, but there was something about the way they kept glancing at each other that made my stomach churn. I’m being such a fucking hypocrite right now. I had literally been devouring Dieter with my eyes a few minutes prior, so it wasn’t like I had room to speak. Then again, I wasn’t the one who had a history of cheating either. I felt Dieter lean in next to me, “Hey, you ok?” 

Snapping out of the glare I was surely throwing their way, I glanced up at Dieter, “Yeah, I’m good.” I gave him a tight smile which didn’t seem too convincing. He looked back toward Alec and Lana, his face shifting as he studied them. I wondered if he could see what I saw between them. There was definitely chemistry there. A moment later, I felt his hand on my shoulder as he gave it a small reassuring squeeze. It seemed like he was trying to communicate something without words, but I didn’t know what to make of it. 

Alec and Lana were finished soon after our arrival. Alec seemed surprised to see us once he finally looked in my direction. He made a beeline toward Dieter and I, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing me on the cheek, “Hey baby, you look good.” 

I gave him a confused smile. He wasn’t usually this touchy while we were in work mode. He glanced over at Dieter and reached his hand out to introduce himself as my “soon to be husband”. Oh…it’s because of Dieter. He’s getting territorial. For fucks sake. Dieter didn’t skip a beat, immediately turning on that Bravo charm. Alec didn’t seem to buy it, but that didn’t stop him from making small talk as he sized Dieter up. The two men were of similar height, but Dieter was much broader and thick, while Alec was leaner and more sculpted. There was no contest there. 

In my periphery, I noticed Lana giving me the stink eye from the other side of the room. Well, that tells me all I need to know about her. I awkwardly moved to extract myself from Alec’s hold, noting that the photographer was ready for us. As we listened to the photographer’s instructions, I could tell Dieter’s energy was off. I glanced back in the direction we had come from, realizing Alec was still standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. His intimidating gaze now focused on us. The photographer politely suggested a few poses for us, we complied but I could tell Dieter was hesitating when it came to touching me.

After Alec left the room, the energy shifted. Both of us eventually relaxing enough to have fun with it as I instructed him into several less intimate dance poses. We spent a lot of time laughing over his failed attempts. Once our hour was up, the photographer seemed happy with the shots he had taken. Even commenting that we had been one of the more fun couples that he had worked with so far. Dieter took the credit for that, citing that he was just a fun guy to be around. I couldn’t help but to roll my eyes at him. At that point, we were finished for the day. We quickly got changed and said our goodbyes so we could go home to rest and prepare for what was to come. 

Tuesdays started with production meetings. Today we would be having our first one to go over the details of our routine - the dance, costumes, and music. I always hated these meetings and felt like it was something that could have been given to us in writing. However, I suspected these meetings served another purpose. It was an opportunity for Stacia and Joe to see how the dancers and celebrities were getting along. A chance for them to learn about our relationships and see where they could throw the gasoline next. Knowing that was most likely the real reasoning caused my frustrations to grow. It made me feel anxious in a way that had never been an issue in the past because I knew they were looking to manipulate us in any way they could. I knew I would need to be vigilant and make sure we were not playing into their games. 

I had debated warning Dieter about Stacia and Joe and was still considering it while I ate my breakfast. As I was finishing up, my phone pinged with multiple texts from Alec with an absurd number of questions about my schedule for the week. I let out a controlled breath as I read through them - rolling my eyes before throwing my phone down on the counter without responding. I didn’t have time for that, nor did I want to deal with it. Instead, I moved toward the bathroom to shower and get ready for my day. 

Dieter’s POV My Tuesday had a ridiculously early start. My upcoming schedule was so packed my assistant had to work hard to squeeze in appointments with my therapist wherever he could. So that’s how I ended up in Dr. Smith’s office at 7 AM. Of course, the topic of the day was how things were going with my dance partner and rehearsals. Dr. Smith seemed to zero in on the topic of feelings when I made a comment about how weird it was being so physically close to someone for so long - that it almost felt inappropriate and uncomfortable at times. She immediately asked me to expand on that. After a few minutes of struggling to put it into words, she finally spoke up to share her thoughts. 

“Dieter, we’ve talked about your aversion to intimacy before. I think that’s where this is coming from. I don’t know much about ballroom dancing, but I do know it involves a lot of intimacy and you are not used to that.” 

 I shook my head, “But it’s not like that…it’s not sexual.” Not physically anyway…my thoughts are another story. 

She chuckled, “Intimacy isn’t just sexual. You can have intimacy with friends and family too. It can be emotional, intellectual, creative…there are so many ways to connect with someone that doesn’t involve sex. It’s something that quite frankly, you’ve been starved of and avoided most of your life. So, I can see why it would make you uncomfortable and why you would have the urge to shy away from it.” 

I snorted and spoke before I realized what I was doing, “But I don’t wanna…” Fuck. I caught myself too late.

Her brow furrowed, “You don’t want to what?” 

I sighed, “I don’t wanna shy away from it. I actually enjoy being around Kat. It’s just a little…intense, I guess. It makes me feel anxious and something else…that I don’t really know how to explain.”

Dr. Smith tilted her head slightly as she took in my words, “Dieter, are you attracted to her?” 

Yes. “No…I mean she’s nice looking. I can’t deny that, but she has a fiancée. It’s just…s-she treats me…like a person. She doesn’t look at me and see a fuck up. She’s giving me a chance and not just automatically assuming that I’m gonna fall back into old habits. You know what I mean?”

Dr. Smith nodded, “So, you’re developing a relationship with her that isn’t based on sex or favors.” 

I rubbed at the deep crease between my brows, “Yeah, I guess so. I suppose it’s probably the closest thing that I’ve had to an actual friendship in a long time…but I mean, it’s only been a week. So, I’m not even sure if I can call it that…but it does feel like more than just working together if that makes sense? We laugh, we joke, we vibe. I guess it does feel like we have some type of connection….and…I find myself wanting to…please her?” I cringed as soon as the words left my mouth, “NO! Not that. Umm, I guess…do a good job is what I mean. I don’t wanna let her down.” 

We stared at each other for a beat, Dr. Smith had a thoughtful look on face as she digested my words. “Dieter…this might be a good thing for you. I want you to work on being open with her. Develop the friendship between the two of you. I think it would be good practice for you, emotionally, to connect with someone in that way. It sounds like she’s willing to build a friendship with you and give you the benefit of the doubt. I know you’ve been seeking that…and it would be good for you to have a friend that’s supportive of your recovery. You don’t have a lot of that right now…and it’s important.”

This is a bad fucking idea. “Ok…yeah. I’ll try.” 

I left that therapy session feeling more on edge than I did before I had gone in. I was feeling a lot of conflict and confusion about my feelings toward Kat, which was ridiculous because I hadn’t known her for that long. Sure, I thought she was physically attractive and normally that alone would’ve been enough for me to pursue her for sex. Aside from the fact that she was taken, I actually didn’t want to ruin what we were potentially building for a quick roll in the sack. I wanted more. I enjoyed spending time with her, and she made me want to be better. I found myself wondering what it would be like to spend time with her outside of the dance studio - doing something as simple as getting lunch or stopping into a bookstore to find a book together that we could discuss after reading. I had never wanted something like that with someone. It was both scary and exciting. 

I soon found myself parking outside Television City Studios for our first production meeting. I now had a fluttering in my stomach that was almost foreign. As I sat rolling up the sleeves of my dress shirt, I decided it was nerves related to the impending live show in less than a week's time. The production meeting made it feel more real and imminent. 

Walking into the main entrance, I spotted Kat waiting in the lobby. Her eyes locked on me as I approached. She had an odd expression, her eyes seeming to roam over me before she met my gaze with a smirk on her face.

“What’s wrong, do I have too many buttons open or something?” I asked, jokingly.

She laughed nervously as she shook her head, “No. Your buttons are open just the right amount…That shade of blue looks really good on you.”   

I smiled as my face heated from the compliment. I leaned my head downward and swiped my thumb across my bottom lip before glancing back up at her. Is she blushing? She looks flushed. 

She cleared her throat, “Umm…before we get called in there, I wanted to warn you about Stacia and Joe. They like to…try and…”

I smirked, thinking back to my first interaction with them, “Create drama?” 

Kat huffed out a laugh, “Yeah…that. I have a feeling they’re gonna try and manipulate things with us and with Alec and Lana. It’s all about ratings with them.” 

I nodded, “I picked up on that during our first meeting. I figured. Don’t worry about it. I’m not gonna play into whatever it is they’re trying to do.” 

She had a sad smile on her face now, “Thank you. I appreciate that. At least two of us are on the same page.” 

Two? What does that mean? I opened my mouth to ask but was interrupted by a production assistant who was sent to lead us to the meeting space.

Once we entered the conference room, we were greeted with a smiling Stacia and Joe. Kat and I took our seats on the opposite side of the table from them, careful not to sit too closely together. I could tell they were studying us as soon as we walked through the door, looking for their angle. Stacia spoke first, “So, how is everything going with you two? Did you have a good first week of rehearsals?” 

Kat and I gave each other a knowing look before I responded. “It’s been going good. Kat is a great teacher…I seem to be picking things up quickly.”  

Stacia and Joe stared at me for a moment. Stacia’s brow arched slightly, like she was waiting for me to say more. When I didn’t, she finally smiled, “Well…that’s good to hear. We want to make sure you two are getting along ok.” 

Kat leaned forward and tilted her head slightly, “Is there a reason that we wouldn’t?” 

Stacia laughed and shifted nervously in her seat, “Of course not…just making conversation.” 

Well, that’s interesting. I had a feeling that Kat made Stacia uncomfortable, maybe even intimidated her some. Kat did seem to be giving off dominating vibes, which was fucking hot. Stacia cleared her throat as she pulled a couple sheets of paper out of a folder and slid them toward us. It appeared to be sketches for our costumes. They were both completely black. Kat’s gown was long and flowy with a very low back and front. 

“Your first performance will be the Foxtrot to the song Fever. You’ll be doing the behind the scenes filming on Friday this week. Do you have any objections to the costume sketches?” 

I glanced over at Kat, ready to agree with whatever she said since I wasn’t sure what she was comfortable with. 

Kat glanced down one last time, “I’m fine with them, Dieter?”   

I shrugged, “I’m good if she is.” 

We sat in an awkward silence for a beat, staring at each other. What the hell is this?

“Is there anything else?” Kat finally asked. 

Stacia nodded, “No. I guess not…unless you guys have anything to discuss?” 

Kat and I both shook our heads with confused expressions. 

Stacia eyed Kat, “Have you met Lana yet? I know she was excited to meet you.”

The energy around Kat shifted, her eyes darkened, and her jaw clenched at the question. Fuck. Please don’t react to that. “We did yesterday.” I said, speaking before I had time to think through my response. “She seemed very nice…Alec too. We had a lovely chat during the photoshoot.” I forced a smile and hoped it didn’t look fake. We need to get out of here. “Well, it was nice seeing you two again. We need to get to the dance studio to start working on our routine. I need all the practice I can get.”  

I looked over at Kat, who was giving me a grateful smile as she moved toward the door. We said our goodbyes as we exited the room, walking in silence until we reached the lobby. Kat turned to look at me, her brows furrowed as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“What the fuck was that?” I asked, completely confused by the interaction. 

“I dunno, it was bizarre. I guess they’re trying to figure out how to stir up drama between the four of us. I can guarantee it won’t be coming from either of us.”  

I arched my brows, “What do you mean?” 

She shook her head, not saying anything as she reached for her phone to check the time. “Our rehearsal space should be open soon. I’m gonna run home and grab my bag. I forgot it.”

I nodded, “Yeah…I’ll meet you there.”

That was an odd response from her. It made me wonder if something was going on with her and Alec. I could sense tension between them during the photoshoot but couldn’t exactly work out the cause of it. Whatever the reasoning, I felt like Stacia was aware of it and was actively trying to work it in her favor for ratings. That did make me sad for Kat because she didn’t deserve it.   

Kat moved to leave, but stopped, waving her phone as she turned to face me, “I guess we should probably exchange numbers…” 

“Oh, right. Of course.” I quickly typed my number into her phone. She followed up by shooting me a quick text with a waving emoji so I would have hers, then we said our goodbyes for now. 

I decided to grab an early lunch before heading to the dance studio. I briefly wondered if I should have asked Kat if she wanted anything. I was tempted to text her but didn’t want to start abusing my texting privileges already. She probably only wanted me to text if I was running late or something anyway. 

As I sat in the parking lot of the dance studio, eating my burrito, a hand smacked against the driver side window. It startled me, nearly causing me to drop my food. I hit the button to lower the glass and was met with Kat’s laughter as she moved to lean against my car. 

I sat smiling at her until her giggles finally subsided.

“Thanks for that. You were very close to cleaning the inside of my car.” 

She smiled, “I would have too, because it would’ve been my fault. I’m sorry. Totally worth it though.” 

I rolled my eyes at her, taking another bite. 

She leaned down, nearly sticking her head inside the car, “That looks good, where’s that from?”

“That Mexican place on Spring Street. I’ve got another, you want it? They’re fucking huge. No way I can eat it.”  Which was the truth. I wasn’t expecting them to be so big. She scrunched her nose, “What kind is it?” She’s too fucking adorable when she does that. 

I reached to pull the foil wrapped burrito out of the bag and held it up to her, “Cheesy steak and rice.”

She snatched it out of my hand, “If you insist. I’m never gonna turn down food.”

I laughed at her, “Good to know. Next time I’ll get your order.”

She moved to lean against the hood of my car as I got out with what was left of my burrito in one hand and my soda in the other. I leaned against the hood beside her and set my drink down between us as she started eating. A quiet moan escaped her lips causing little Bravo to involuntarily twitch in my pants. Fuck. That was hot.

“Ugh, this is so good. I’ve never been to that place. Clearly, I need to go.”

All I could muster in response was a nod. We ate in silence for a few minutes before she reached for my drink, tilting it forward and raising a brow at me as if to ask if it was ok. I nodded again and she took a quick sip before setting it back down. Once I finally got my thoughts in check, I was surprised by how at ease she seemed around me today.

Kat licked at the juices running down the side of her hand. I laughed at her and reached into the car to grab some napkins, handing them to her as she spoke, “Maybe we can start grabbing lunch on Tuesdays after our production meetings. We could get a head start discussing our routine since we have this odd break before our scheduled studio time.” 

“Yeah, I’m cool with that.” More than I should be. I was giddy at the thought of spending time with her outside of rehearsals. 

Her eyes narrowed on me as I finished up the last of my food, “So what does Dieter Bravo do in his free time?”    

I gave her a small smile as she stared at me with a soft gaze, “These days, not a whole lot. I moved into a beach house in Santa Monica about six months ago. I mostly just hole up there with my plants, music, and art supplies. I’ve pretty much had to change my whole life around since I got out of rehab.”

She had a sad smile on her lips now, nodding as she swallowed her latest bite. I had a feeling she knew what all that meant. “Plants and art supplies? So, you grow things and paint?” 

I laughed, “Yes…and I do mean houseplants. Don’t get any ideas.” 

She chuckled, “The thought didn’t even cross my mind.” She paused, rolling back the wrapping on her burrito, “It’s unexpected and cool, actually. I love art. I don’t have an artistic bone in my body, but I do love looking at other people’s work.” 

I raised a questioning eyebrow at her, “Dance is an art form…”

She rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean…painting, drawing…those kinds of things.”

I nodded, “Well, anyone can paint. So, don’t sell yourself short on that. You should give it a try. It’s a good stress reliever.” 

She shrugged, “What about the plants? Why plants?” 

I chuckled, “I don’t fucking know. That’s a fairly new obsession. I guess…I like learning about them. They all have different needs. There’s something about watching them grow and thrive from the care I’m putting into them. They also add a little extra something…makes the house homier.” I shook my head and laughed. Geez, I sound ridiculous. 

She smiled at me, “What’s wrong? Are you embarrassed by your love of plants?” 

I could feel my face heating up, “No…I mean, maybe. It’s a little weird, don’t ya think?”

She shook her head, “It’s surprising, but not weird. I kind of love it. It’s sweet.” 

Her eyes sparkled as she gave me an endearing smile, which caused knots to form in my stomach. She moved to take another drink from my soda, and I suddenly found her lips wrapping around the straw to be a little distracting. I had to force my line of sight elsewhere. 

She groaned as she stuck the last bit of the burrito in her mouth, “Ugh, I’m probably gonna regret that. Good thing we have some time to digest while we talk about our routine.” I laughed as I reached into the car to grab my bag so I could change once we got inside. 

After I got changed, Kat found our song and played it. We listened in silence while we did some basic stretches. After the song concluded, she sat quietly with her legs stretched out in front of her, thinking. She let out a controlled breath as she rubbed her hands down her face.  

“Ok, so…the foxtrot is probably one of the more difficult standard dances to learn. We haven’t gone over it yet. It requires a heel lead and gliding steps that should appear effortless and elegant. It’s a box step similar to the waltz, but the timing is different…it’s a mixture of slow steps that take up two beats and quick steps that take up one beat. It’s a slow, slow, quick, quick movement while maintaining a closed position with your partner. Let’s start with the basic steps, then we’ll start adding the flare to it.” 

I sat on the floor in front of her, listening intently, nodding along. She moved to stand, reaching out her hands to help pull me up to my feet. We spent a good amount of time working on the basic steps. She started with having me do the steps alone so she could watch my movements. It took a little longer than I would have liked to get the timing right, but I eventually caught on. Once I had it down, we assumed the closed position and began moving together. Initially her proximity was distracting, but I was able to move past it and focus on our movements. After we mastered the basics moving both forward and backwards, she added turning box steps to the mix.   

Now that I had the footwork down for the foxtrot, Kat wasted no time jumping in to craft a routine for us. I mostly watched her as she talked through ideas, occasionally stopping to work out the steps and movements on her own. She asked for input, but I didn’t feel confident enough to really have an opinion on any of it at this point. Overall, it was a light day as we worked through our plans. The afternoon flew by, and our rehearsal time was up before we knew it. 

As we were leaving, Kat warned me that we would be hitting things pretty hard for the rest of the week, so I needed to prepare myself. I laughed it off, but honestly, I was terrified. I was nervous about the increased physical contact with her. I had done well ignoring it so far, but I knew once we started getting into the routines, the contact was going to increase exponentially. It wasn’t just the fact that I found her to be incredibly attractive, but also because physical closeness was something that I never did with people that I didn’t have an active sexual relationship with. Even in those instances, it was about pleasure and nothing else. This was going to be weird for me and I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it.

When I got home that evening, I had a quick dinner then grabbed my tablet with the thought that I would look up some foxtrot videos on YouTube. I figured it might give me some ideas so I could have input on our routine since Kat insisted that she wanted me involved. I made my way out back to sit on a lounger next to the firepit - allowing the sounds of the ocean to lull me into relaxation before I went down my YouTube rabbit hole. 

I was honestly shocked at the range of routines I watched. Some were very serious and professional while others favored the more sensual side of the dance. I could feel my stomach fluttering at the thought of dancing like that with Kat. Sure, the idea was slightly arousing, but also imagining her looking at me the way these dancers were looking at each other caused my heart to skip a beat. It was a new kind of feeling that I couldn’t really find the words for. 

At some point, a video of Kat popped up from a previous season of the show. I watched it a couple of times, studying her face and the way she moved with her partner. It all felt very cold, like she was just going through the motions. She seemed focused on trying to get her partner through the routine rather than feeling the emotions of the dance. I eventually scrolled down to the ‘suggested videos’ section, finding a few of Kat and Alec from professional dance competitions that were several years old. In these, Kat was different. It was clear that she and Alec had chemistry on the dance floor. The way she moved her body was hypnotic and the way she looked at Alec was almost carnal. I couldn’t imagine her dancing like this with me. The thought of it made me dizzy and anxious. I wouldn’t be able to handle that level of emotion from her.  

Sighing, I set the tablet down on the ground beside me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the lounger, trying to get that visual out of my mind. After a few minutes of contemplative silence, I sensed movement near my feet. When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the furry intruder that refused to leave my yard. He sat for a moment, staring at me as if to ask if he could approach me. When I didn’t react, he hopped up onto my lap and meowed loudly in my face. I sighed, finally giving in to his cuteness and scratched behind his ears. He wasted no time crawling up my chest to rub his head against my beard, “Alright little dude, don’t get too excited. This isn’t gonna be a thing.” 

I couldn’t help the laugh that slipped between my lips as he started purring. This fucking cat. My arms slid around his small frame and cuddled him closer. I realized he felt a little boney under all that fur. I sighed louder this time, “I fucking knew this was gonna happen. You finally got me dude…come on.” I sat him down on the ground, grabbed my tablet, and got up to walk toward the house. He followed behind me, swishing his tail. I walked through the sliding door into the kitchen in search of something for him to eat. I found a few packets of tuna in the pantry and grabbed one. When I turned around, I was met with two green eyes staring at me from the floor. I chuckled, “Please, do come in.” I grabbed a bowl and emptied the pouch into it. He waited patiently for me to set it down in front of him - immediately digging in once I did, making little growling noises as he ate. I guess I have a fucking cat now.   

Katarina’s POV As I drove home, I took the time to reflect on my day. Stacia almost got a rise out of me this morning. I couldn’t let her do that because it would only add fuel to the flames she was trying to create. It was clear to me now that she was hoping Lana would drive a wedge between Alec and me. My fear was that it was working. I could already tell he had been more distant since rehearsals started. It wasn’t unusual given our schedules, but he would usually send texts throughout the day. I hadn’t received one from him since yesterday. I could feel the hurt creeping in. However, there was also a part of me hoping he would fuck up again because it was all beginning to be too much. I wanted to give up and I wanted out. 

Then there was Dieter. It was obvious that he sensed my unease at the mention of Lana, and he jumped in to cover for me without hesitation. He was damn near believable in his response. He and I hadn’t discussed anything related to Alec and Lana in detail, but I felt like he knew there was more to it than I had shared. I had to appreciate that he didn’t try to pry for information while also acting as the supportive dance partner. 

I don’t know what it is about Dieter, but I feel comfortable with him. Even though most people would probably call me crazy for it, I actually trust him. The realization hit me this morning after the production meeting. As I drove toward the dance studio, I made a conscious decision to build a friendship with him because I felt like he really needed it. Maybe we both did. 

When I finally got home, I quickly ate some leftovers while I waited for the bathtub to fill up. I knew I needed to start taking extra steps to keep my body happy if I was going to make it through this season. I was doing ok so far - seeming to have no pain or inflammation present in my joints. I knew that could change at any time. Especially once we really got going in rehearsals. I was already dreading the Latin dances. I knew that the knee and hip pain would start quickly with those. The foot pain would come soon enough. The dance shoes always got that going, which was why I hadn’t worn any during rehearsals yet. I had planned to limit those as much as possible. After I finished eating, I took all my daily supplements that I had forgotten that morning, then got into the tub to relax. 

I found my thoughts drifting back to Dieter, remembering how the blue color of the dress shirt he had on this morning looked amazing against his skin. Then I remembered how my attention was drawn to his exposed forearms – to his tattoos peeking out and the way the muscles flexed as he moved his hands when he spoke. As the day went on, I began having a ridiculous urge to touch his hair. That started while we were outside the studio, leaning against his car. The soft waves were gently blowing in the breeze begging to have my fingers run through them. He was so effortlessly handsome and clearly lacked the confidence to go with it, which was surprising to me. 

Then my thoughts jumped to a shirtless Dieter from the day before. I suddenly felt that familiar throb between my thighs. Fucking hell, don’t go there Kat. I was tempted to let my mind continue down that path, but I knew it would be wrong. I couldn’t entertain those thoughts, no matter how good I thought he looked. Especially if I wanted to establish a legitimate friendship with him. I sighed and dunked myself under the water for a moment, hoping that would clear my head. It didn’t. I got out of the tub and went to bed frustrated. 

I awoke to the sound of pounding on the front door. Glancing at the clock, it was close to 1 AM. I sighed and got out of bed. As I got closer to the door, I could hear Alec drunkenly rambling to let him in. I was half tempted to leave his ass out there. When I opened the door, he stumbled inside, hugging me against him and almost pulling both of us to the floor.

I pushed him off me, “Alec…what the fuck?”   

He blew his beer laden breath across my face as he spoke in a slur, “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t wanna drive home. I was at the bar up the street with the guys…I can’t find my phone.” 

“You realize we have a group rehearsal in the morning, right?” 

He waved his hand at me like it was no big deal and stumbled off toward the bedroom, collapsing on the bed, fully dressed. This was a good reminder as to why we hadn’t moved in together yet. I huffed, moving to take his shoes and clothes off while he mumbled something about wanting to fuck before fully passing out. Once I got him situated, I crawled into bed and settled in for a night of restless sleep. 

Alec woke me before my alarm went off, kissing down my neck. I admittedly was still a little worked up from the night before, so I went with it. I briefly stopped him, reaching into the nightstand for a condom. He rolled his eyes in protest as I handed it to him, but I wasn’t taking any chances. He put the condom on before flipping me over, pulling my hips up to meet him, then pulling my shorts down so he could roughly take me from behind. He didn’t last long, and I got no satisfaction from it. When he was done, he got into the shower without a word. This dismissive behavior wasn’t out of the ordinary for him, but something felt different. I felt like he was staking his claim, reminding me that I belonged to him. I suddenly hated myself for allowing it to happen like that. It made me feel dirty somehow.  

After he was showered and dressed, he gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and said he would see me at group rehearsals. I nodded, watching him as he walked out of the bedroom. He seemed off, but I couldn’t figure out why. Maybe it was just a bad hangover and everything else was all in my head. 

Wednesdays were always the worst. Every week, the professional dancers did a group performance at the start of the show. I really wished they wouldn’t do these because it just added more to our plate. Luckily the first few weeks were not as bad since we still had so many cast members to take up airtime. The burden of the extra performances would increase as more groups were voted off. Eventually, the celebrities would be added to the group performances. I wasn’t looking forward to that as we progressed through the competition. Since it was the first week, this rehearsal went fast, and it was fairly easy. Alec struggled through it, clearly hung over from the night before, but I didn’t feel bad for him.

After five hours of rehearsals with the professional cast, I had to rush to grab a late lunch. I didn’t have much time before meeting with Dieter for our late afternoon rehearsal. When I arrived at the dance studio, Dieter was there waiting. He was laying on the floor, his head propped on his bag with a tablet sitting on his chest. His eyes met mine as he smiled up at me. 

“What are you doing?” I asked through a chuckle. 

He grabbed the tablet and quickly sat up, “I hope you don’t mind…but I pulled up some videos last night to get some ideas.” 

I don’t know why this surprised me. I figured he would leave most of the choreography to me. However, I loved that he was trying. He looked a little sheepish as he asked if he could show me a couple of things. I smiled and nodded as I sat on the floor beside him, mirroring the way he was sitting, with my legs stretched out in front of me. He gave me a shy smile as he turned on his tablet, “Don’t laugh, but I made a playlist and saved them.” I didn’t laugh, but I couldn’t help smiling at him. I watched as he opened the YouTube app to the ‘home’ tab. He quickly tapped on the ‘foxtrot’ playlist, but not before I saw my name in the title of a video under the ‘watch history’ section. I could feel my heart rate pickup as he glanced over at me, fighting a shy smile. 

“Yeah, I saw that…you watching videos of me, Bravo?” I asked with a teasing tone.

He shrugged, still trying not to smile as his cheeks flushed, “I watched a lot of videos from previous seasons. You may have been in one or two of them.” 

“Mmmhmm. Right.” 

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Anyway…I was thinking what we have so far feels almost mechanical…if that makes sense?” He’s not wrong. Dieter glanced at me; his dark eyes rounded as he took in my expression. I think he was worried it would upset me. 

I pursed my lips, “I don’t disagree with that. Thank you for pointing it out.”

His shoulders relaxed, “Ok, good. I was afraid that would piss you off.” 

I rolled my eyes, “It takes a lot more than that to piss me off. I always want you to be open about what you’re feeling. Besides, I didn’t think it felt right either. So…what are you thinking?” 

He inhaled deeply before launching into his thoughts, “Well, I think we need to add some emotion to it to start…nothing too crazy…I’ve saved a few videos. I think if we can find a good balance in the emotion and feel of all these dances it would be perfect. I don’t mind doing a little acting with it.”  

He had picked some very good examples. The first few videos showed professional choreography infused with different dance styles. The last few included a lot of acting and storytelling with the dancers' movements and were more toward the sensual side of things. During the last few videos, I could see the tension in his face. He was worried it would bother me. It didn’t of course since this was what dancing was about. I, however, was concerned about what that meant for me emotionally. It was going to require a lot of trust and a deeper connection that I usually didn’t have with my dance partners on the show. There was also the tiny issue of me finding Dieter Bravo to be incredibly attractive. 

Once the last video ended, I glanced up at him. “You're ok with doing that kind of stuff?”  

His eyebrows shot up, “I mean, maybe not that intense. Those...are a lot… but I’m comfortable with whatever you're comfortable with.”  

I nodded, surprised of his willingness to try something different. “You know…our song has sort of a jazzy sound. Maybe we can infuse some jazz elements into it?”

Dieter’s eyes lit up at that suggestion, “I’m actually digging that idea.”

“Ok…well, this dance isn’t gonna figure itself out. Let’s get going.” I stood, “We need to make sure we stretch more going forward because it’s about to get a lot harder on our bodies. You’re probably about to hate me.” 

He looked worried as I told him to lay back flat on the floor and moved to help him with some leg stretches - leaning against him to push back on his leg first with it straight in the air then against his knee to push it into his chest. He whined and groaned through it the entire time. After completing the same steps with his other leg, I had him sit up and put his feet flat together in front of him in a butterfly pose. I took the same position in front of him, keeping his legs in place with my knees and pulled him forward by his hands. He again began whining through it. I had to appreciate that he didn’t make it awkward like most people did, but it was near impossible not to laugh at his dramatic behavior. We went through several more partner stretches, both of us trying to keep it together as his dramatics increased with each new stretch. 

By the time we were done with the stretches, Dieter was already breaking out in a sweat. He gave me the stink eye and huffed as he got up off the floor, “I’m fairly certain that could be classified as some form of torture.”  

I laughed, “Stop being a drama queen. We’ve gotta keep those hips loose or you won’t make it through the Latin dances.” 

He raised an eyebrow at me, “I have loose hips?” 

I chuckled, “Surprisingly, yes.”

He smirked, “I take it that’s a good thing?” 

I nodded, smiling back at him, “It’s good for a lot of things.” I did not just say that.

“For dancing…it’s good for a lot of different dance moves. There’s umm…a lot of hip thrusting…in Latin dances, is what I mean.” Fucking hell, Kat. Shut up. 

The longer I rambled, the bigger his smile got. I could feel the heat creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. “I’m just gonna stop there. That came out so wrong.”  

Dieter laughed, “It’s kind of cute when you're flustered.” 

I put my hands on my hips and blew a strand of hair out of my face, “Just…shut up.” He snorted, shaking his head at me as I moved to stand in the center of the room. “Alright, let’s focus and get this figured out.” 

He made his way over to me, still trying to hold in his chuckles while I ignored him and moved to stand in position. I tilted my head and arched my brows. I now had my serious face on, needing to move past that minor embarrassment. “Let’s go through what we have so far. Ok?”   

From that point on, the both of us were all business. Dieter was laser focused and I found that we collaborated well together. As the minutes ticked on, he seemed to be more comfortable expressing his thoughts about the routine, however, I could tell he was still holding back when it came to physical closeness. He would hesitate anytime he had to touch anywhere outside of my arms or waist.  

“Dieter, I really need for you to get over this physical contact phobia, ok? I’m telling you now, it’s ok to touch me while we’re dancing.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut and let out a controlled breath, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I’m just trying to be respectful, and this kind of goes against all that.” 

I placed both of my hands on his cheeks and squished them together causing his plump lips to pucker slightly. His eyes popped open and focused on me in shock, “I promise, I’ll give you a warning before I throat punch you if I feel like you're being inappropriate…k.”  

I patted the side of his face with my right hand, then pulled away. His eyes rounded as he stared at me, unblinking, “Is that supposed to be comforting? Because it isn’t.” 

A small chuckle bubbled out as I took in his expression. His puppy eyes were in full effect. I both hated and loved when he looked at me like that. It made me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling. 

I smirked, “I’m joking, I won’t throat punch you, but I will smack you if I think it’s necessary.” 

His brow furrowed as he shook his head, snorting out a small laugh, “Oh… okay. That’s sooo much better.” 

Rolling my eyes at him, I moved to our starting position. 

“Alright, stop your whining. Let’s take it from the top with what we have so far.” 

Dieter nodded and stepped closer, setting his frame, and taking hold of me. He was still too far away. I tilted my head and narrowed my eyes on him, sighing as I stepped even closer to his front so that we were in a proper closed position. He gave me a tight smile before looking off to the left. I began counting our steps as we moved around the room in perfect synchronization until Dieter’s timing faltered. We kept going, but I could feel his posture changing. I glanced over at him and realized his jaw was tense. 

“Is something wrong?” I asked without stopping. 

He kept going, not looking in my direction as he said, “It appears we have an audience.” 

During a reverse turn, I glanced toward the hallway windows - instantly finding the cause of his disturbance. Alec was watching us. His piercing gaze made me feel uneasy. What is his fucking problem? 

“Just keep going and ignore him. You’re not doing anything wrong…box turn, then promenade.” 

Dieter inhaled deeply following through on those instructions before moving to lead me into an inside turn. As we reached the end of the choreography that we had so far, I glanced toward the windows. Alec was gone. 

My eyes met Dieter’s, “Let’s take a water break.”

He nodded before pulling the hem of his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his forehead. I couldn’t help the way my eyes raked over his exposed skin. I had to force myself to turn away from him as I drank from my water bottle. 

“Alec doesn’t like me, does he?” Dieter asked from behind me before taking a drink of his own water.

I casually turned to him, “He’s concerned about your womanizing ways. I guess he’s worried you're gonna steal me away from him or something.”  

Dieter smirked, “I mean, I would never do anything you didn’t want me to…”

My brows arched in surprise at his words. I absolutely can’t handle him saying shit like that to me. I could already feel the effects of his words and that devilish smirk pulsing between my thighs. 

Dieter was quick to add, “That did not come out the way I meant it…” He shook his head and laughed nervously as he raked his hair back out of his face, “I just mean…I respect you too much to do anything like that. Your friendship is important to me. I don’t wanna ruin it by being a dick…and I’m not that guy anymore. Besides, he should trust you. You’ve been nothing but professional.” 

Friendship...I actually kind of hate that word. A crease formed between my brows as I looked down at the floor, “Yeah, well…you can’t tell him that apparently. Just don’t pay any attention to him. He’s being ridiculous over nothing. I’ll tell him to knock it off.” 

“Hey.” He was standing directly in front of me now as I looked up to meet his gaze. His obsidian eyes were burning into mine, nearly taking my breath away. “If I’m doing something to make things harder on you, please tell me. I can tell this is causing tension between you two.”  

I gave him a weak smile, “The fact that you even exist is enough to bother him. You’re not doing anything, so don’t stress about it.” 

His lips were set in a tight line as he studied my face, taking in my words. He didn’t look convinced, but he nodded and dropped the subject. We continued with building our routine for the next hour. Then our studio time was up for the day. 

By the time Friday rolled around, we pretty much had our routine planned out. It was a ‘behind the scenes’ filming day, so we had to put up with the camera crew being in our space as we ran through the full routine to the music for the first time. We also had to periodically stop to film their interview questions. The questions were beyond frustrating - mostly focusing on our chemistry and how well we worked together. It was clear they were trying to drive a certain narrative and were not getting what they wanted from us. I could tell Dieter had picked up on it too based on the looks he was shooting my way. It felt like such a waste of our time. Once we got rid of the film crew, we managed to complete a few run-throughs with the music without error. We were both feeling pretty good about it. However, Dieter admitted that his nerves were starting to flare up as we got closer to show day. He looked vulnerable at that moment, and I just wanted to pull him into a hug. Instead, I settled for a quick squeeze of the hand and told him everything would be ok because we would get through it together. That seemed to calm him some. 

Dieter’s POV This week had gone by in a blur. I attributed it to enjoying the time that I was spending with Kat. She and I were working so well together. I couldn’t recall ever having such a positive or productive experience with someone in a work setting. We were both clearly more comfortable around each other now. She was quick witted with her banter and often kept me on my toes with her jokes. I loved that we had a similar sense of humor. During the more serious moments, we worked together with such intense focus that it was almost like we shared a single brain - often on the same wavelength and anticipating what the other was saying before they said it. She was very receptive to any suggestions I had and often praised me for my involvement with crafting the routine, which only made me want to do more. There was nothing more satisfying than seeing her face light up when she liked one of my suggestions.   

As the week progressed and the dancing got more intense, Kat was going heavy on stretches to start the day. While it was torture, the partner stretches were quickly becoming one of my favorite things to do. I made sure to bust out the dramatics just to make her laugh. God, I loved hearing her laugh. I also didn’t mind the close proximity that some of the stretches put us in. When she made the comment about me having “loose hips” being good for a lot of things I was a little stunned. Her descent into embarrassment afterward was so fucking adorable. It was hard not to wonder if she had thought about me like that. Was it a Freudian slip? This was a thought that kept creeping in when I would least expect it and caused me to think all sorts of inappropriate things. Especially when she would give me that look that was somewhere between teasing and flirting that made my dick twitch. The logical part of my brain kept reminding me of that big shiny rock on her finger. The wishful side hoped that she did indeed feel something for me. 

The feelings that I was having were very complicated and I wasn’t sure how to navigate them. Alec was adding a whole other layer to things with his possessiveness over Kat. The guy honestly worried me a little bit, so I was determined to be on my best behavior when it came to her no matter what my emotions said. I didn’t want to give him any reason to do something stupid, because my gut told me he was that type that would.   

Sunday was our last rehearsal for the week in the dance studio. We spent our hours fine tuning things with the music the best we could without hearing the live band’s version of the song. Kat warned me that we may have to make last minute adjustments during the dress rehearsal, which was stressing me out a little. It just gave more room for me to fuck something up once we got the live show. Kat seemed surprisingly calm about the whole thing. Then again, she had been doing this for years. Her confidence in me did help alleviate some of the anxiety I was starting to feel, but not all of it.

After rehearsals, we made our way to Television City Studios. It was spray tan day for the entire cast. This was one of the things that I was not looking forward to. Upon arrival, I made my way to my dressing room to get undressed down to my boxer briefs and threw on the robe that was provided. I followed the robe clad group toward a big open room where everyone waited their turn. I quickly found Kat scrolling through her phone in the far corner, away from the crowd. I went to wait with her since I hadn’t really met any of the other cast members yet. We stood chatting as Alec and Lana slowly walked down the hallway; eyes fixed on each other as they shared a smile. Lana reached out to hook her arm with his, but once he noticed Kat, he pulled away from her and walked toward us. Yeah asshole, I see you.  

Alec was quick to wrap himself around Kat, putting his body between us as he did so. Alright man, I get it. You think you own her. He attempted to make small talk but was coming off as an arrogant asshole as he bragged about how great of a dance teacher he was. Kat honestly looked embarrassed by him. As I stood listening, a production assistant walked by. I took the opportunity to interrupt Alec to ask the PA what sort of spray tan they were using. The PA gave me a look of annoyance, “What does it matter?” she asked with a rude tone. Damn, who pissed in your cheerios this morning. 

“It matters because I don’t want a bunch of chemicals sprayed on me. That shit can cause a disruption in cellular metabolic processes…it can be carcinogenic. Is it all natural?” I had a slight irritation to my tone.

Her brow furrowed, “You’re worried about a spray tan when you used to do coke, LSD, and who knows what else? Is this a joke?” My eyes widened at her response. Ok. That’s probably a fair question. 

I sensed Kat was about to say something, but Alec stopped her. I gave the PA a sarcastic smile, “Well, I’ve gotta live a clean life now to make up for all that damage I did. Humor me, please.”

The PA rolled her eyes, “Yes, we use an all-natural certified organic spray tan solution. So, you're safe from the carcinogens.” She said that last bit with a snippy tone. I should be used to being talked to like this by now, but it still pissed me off. 

“Thank you, that’s all you had to say.”  

I heard Alec laugh as he turned his back toward me to talk to Kat, effectively dismissing me from the conversation. I could tell Kat wanted to say something to me, but he was blocking her from doing so as he asked her if she was free tonight. 

Another PA with a clipboard approached me at that point to let me know it was my turn. I gave Kat a tight smile as I was led into the large room that was set up with individual pop-up privacy tents for cast members to step into to remove their robes and get sprayed. 

Once I was finished, I went directly to my dressing room. My good mood had been soured by the PA’s comment and Alec being a jackass. I sat down in the chair in front of the vanity wondering what Alec and Kat’s relationship was actually like on a good day. I didn’t get good vibes from the guy. I really hoped that he treated her ok. She deserved that.   

I was drawn from my thoughts by a knock on the door, “Come in.” 

Kat came through the door, looking behind her as she entered. I assumed to check if anyone was around to see her enter my dressing room. When she finally turned to face me, she paused, taking in my state of undress with wide eyes. I was still wearing the robe and boxer briefs. I now realized the robe was no longer closed, “Oh shit…sorry,” I mumbled as I stood from the chair and tied it shut. I didn’t care if she saw me like this, I was used to it, but I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. 

She let out a breathy laugh, “No, you're fine. I just wasn’t expecting…that.” 

I chuckled, “Sorry, I’m used to being in various stages of undress on set…I don’t even think about it anymore. I’ll try to keep my clothes on around you.” 

Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip to hold back a smile as she continued to stare at me for a beat, eventually clearing her throat to speak, “Umm…I-I just wanted to come check on you. That PA was kind of an asshole.”  

I waved my hand, “Don’t even worry about it. I’m not.” I’m more bothered by Alec. 

She nodded, “Ok, good…yeah, don’t let that get to you. It’s not worth it.” She shifted her weight and stuck her hands in her back pockets, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” 

Moving to lean against the vanity, I huffed out a small laugh and scratched at the back of my neck as I stared at the ugly gray stained carpet, “Honestly, I’m nervous as fuck…but…I know you won’t let me mess up too badly.”  You make everything ok. 

My eyes flicked up to meet hers. We stared at each other in silence for a moment. I felt like there was a weird electricity in the air between us. I really wanted to reach out and touch her, to hug her, but I knew that wasn’t a good idea. 

Her lips finally broke into a small smile, “Don’t worry Bravo, I’ve got you. I think you’ll do just fine. You’re better than you think.” 

She turned on her heel to move toward the door, “Well, I’m gonna head home…try and relax and get some rest. We have an early start and it’s gonna be a long day.” 

“You mean you’re not going out with Alec?” I blurted out the question without thinking, like it was any of my damn business what they were doing.  

Kat shook her head, “No, he wanted to go out with some other castmates. I’m not about that kind of lifestyle these days. I have to rest…and he knows that.” 

It made me happier than it should have to know she wouldn’t be spending the evening with Alec. I knew that I shouldn’t be having those kinds of thoughts, they were engaged for fucks sake. They were going to spend time together whether I wanted them to or not. I really needed to get my thoughts under control before this became an issue. 

I pursed my lips, nodding as I forced a smile, “I’ll see you in the morning then. Have a good evening.”

She seemed reluctant as she nodded and reached for the doorknob, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

A short time after I got home, I couldn’t stop thinking about how Kat had gone out of her way to come check on me. Most people wouldn’t bother to do that these days, not that I blamed them. I didn’t deserve anyone’s concern after the way I treated people when I was deep in my addiction. I had to make sure I didn’t fuck this up with her. I sank down into the sofa as I unlocked my phone and pulled up Kat’s number. I started typing a text message and hit send before I could second guess myself. 

Dieter: Thank you for checking in with me. I should have said that earlier. I appreciate it more than you know. I don’t have a lot of people in my life that would do that right now.

I watched as the message status changed to ‘read’. The bubbles started bouncing, telling me that she was typing something, then stopped. That happened a few more times before her response came through. 

Kat: You don’t have to thank me for that. I’ll always check in with you. That’s what friends are for.  

Seeing the word “friend” was sort of a punch in the gut, but I needed that. It helped get my head back where it should be. However, that word also meant that she viewed me as more than just a castmate, which was somewhat comforting. At least I could have a friendship with her. It was more than I had with anyone else at the moment. I decided to push all those thoughts aside and head to bed early before I lost my focus.

My alarm went off at 6 AM the following morning. After a quick shower, I threw on some gym clothes and headed to the local coffee shop. I wasn’t about to try and sustain myself with whatever it was that Craft Services was handing out. I picked up a cup for Kat too, since I now knew how she liked it. I pulled into Television City Studios parking with minutes to spare before we had to be in the ballroom to meet with the band, lighting team, and the cinematographer. We had to make sure the music was right, discuss the lighting scheme, and determine camera blocking for our performance.

As I walked in, I spotted Kat already chatting with the music director and walked over to greet her, handing her coffee over as I stood at her side. They were discussing the tempo of our song to make sure the band hit the mark with it since it had so many variations. As Kat talked, she looped her hand through my arm and gave it a squeeze. I assumed she could sense my anxiety and it did help alleviate it some. As we went through the details, I noticed other cast members starting to file in and sit around the dance floor.  

Once Kat was done going over everything with the band and lighting, Alec came over to offer her some coffee. She gave him a tight smile as she held up her cup, “I’m good, but thanks.” 

His brow furrowed, “Alright, maybe Lana will want it then.” What a fucking dick. 

I felt like he was purposely trying to throw her off her game with that comment. She watched him with narrowed eyes as he walked off toward a small crowd of cast members. I could see her jaw muscles flex before her eyes met mine, “Alright, we’re gonna do a quick run through with the band. There are 18 cameras, so they’ll work on adjusting those as we go through it. If we need to make changes, they’ll let us know. We’ll come back later for the dress rehearsal and run through it a few more times with everything in place.” 

I took a deep breath and nodded. She leaned in to meet my gaze with a small smile, “Hey, we’ve got this. Don’t worry.” 

She reached down and grabbed my hand, pulling me over to our starting mark. As the band began playing, I was already thrown off by how different the music sounded from the track that was provided to us. I think Kat could sense it as she quietly called out some verbal cues at the start. Once we got going, I was on track and made it through the routine with only a few small errors. 

Luckily, there were no last-minute suggested changes to the routine. I’m not sure if I would have retained it if there had been. We had another quick discussion with the producers about the lighting before they cleared us for hair and makeup.  

I suddenly felt like all eyes were on us as we exited the ballroom. It was a little unnerving. Kat leaned in, “Ignore them, they’re just sizing up their competition. There are pros and cons to going first.” 

I chuckled nervously, “And what exactly is a pro for going first?” 

“We don’t have to deal with a frustrated production team. Trust me, they turn into assholes real fast dealing with this bunch.” 

I laughed, “Yeah, that makes sense. How do they decide the order?” 

She smiled, “Well, I got here first this morning…”

I nodded, “So that should be our goal then? Get here first. Got it.” 

The rest of the morning was a blur. Kat and I spent hours in hair and makeup getting poked and prodded at. Luckily this time, we were seated next to each other so we could at least chat through it - mostly focusing on our routine. Once that was finally finished, we headed back to our individual dressing rooms where our costumes were waiting for us. After getting changed, we met back up outside the ballroom to go in for dress rehearsals. Kat looked amazing of course, but I did prefer her more natural look. They had slathered so much makeup and hair gel on the both of us we looked like completely different people. She joked that it was going to take multiple washings to get all the gel out of our hair. I was already not looking forward to going through that process. 

As we walked toward the dance floor for our first run through in costume, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of exposed skin Kat’s gown was showing. I realized for the first time that my hands would be on her bare skin while we were dancing. It was both thrilling and anxiety inducing. I had to quickly shove that thought aside because it threatened to completely derail my focus.

We went through our routine several more times. By the last run through with the music, cameras, and lighting in place, I was feeling more confident about everything. Kat took a minute to give me a small pep talk before she had to run off to change costumes for the group rehearsal. I had to give her credit; she had been very patient with me. She made sure to take time to explain each step of the process to help ease my anxiety. She had been very positive and encouraging as we worked through it all.  

I sat and watched the group rehearsal while I waited for my final fitting time slot with the wardrobe department. The performance was some sort of Latin style dance. Kat did amazingly well. I couldn’t take my eyes off her rhythmic hip movements as she whirled around the floor in time to the beat. I had to chastise myself for looking at her in that way, but it was hard not to. She was electric and commanded the attention of the room above everyone else. 

Stacia stood nearby, watching the performance, just as she had been for all of them so far. However, I was now noticing her occasional glances in my direction. As she was moving toward the other end of the dance floor, she stopped in front of me, “Kat is on fire today. I’m not sure I’ve seen her do this well in a while. I take it that things are going well with the two of you?”

I felt the crease form between my brows as confusion etched my face. What is she actually asking me? “Yeah, I mean…we work well together. She’s a good teacher.”

Stacia narrowed her eyes slightly at my response, then smirked, “Right, you’ve said that.” Fuck. Did I just tip her off on something? I felt like she could see through me as she turned and walked away. Surely, she didn’t think something was going on between Kat and me? I sighed and turned my attention back to the group performance, hoping I didn’t just have a serious fuck up.     

As I watched the third run through for the group, I realized something. Kat had been partnered to dance with Alec, which wasn’t surprising. What was surprising was the vibe between the two of them. It seemed different from the videos that I had watched of their competitions. Her face was expressionless. There was no longer a fiery look behind her eyes as they moved together - almost like there was no connection between them. Maybe she was just focused on getting the choreography correct. They hadn’t practiced the group routine that much after all. That had to be it, right? I couldn’t allow myself to think that it was any other reason. 

After their last run through, Kat walked off the dancefloor, directly over to me to get her water bottle. After taking a long drink, she turned to me, “We need to get to wardrobe for our final fittings. They’ll have our heads if we’re late.”   

I followed behind Kat toward the wardrobe department. She had to pop into her dressing room to grab her other costume on the way. They took us to the back as soon as we walked in. The tailor that we had worked with before, Amy, gave Kat a once over. They both seemed satisfied with her first costume, so Kat went to the changing room to switch to the black gown she would be wearing for our performance. While Kat was changing, Amy turned her attention to me, “Well, your buttons don’t seem to be hanging on for dear life this time, so I think we should be good. Do the pants feel ok? Not too tight?” 

I shook my head, “No everything feels like it fits perfectly. Thank you for making the size adjustments.” Amy seemed proud of herself as she gave me one last look over. Kat returned in her gown minutes later.

“Does everything feel ok on this one Kat?” Amy asked as she stood back to look over the fit of the gown.  

“Yeah, it fits like a glove. Perfect as always. I do have a request though…would it be possible to get a lower heel for both costumes?”

Amy’s brow furrowed, “You know production won’t be happy if you have different shoes for the group performance. Do you not wanna wear regulation heel height?”

Kat sighed, “Fine, I’ll keep the ones for group, but I would like lower ones to go with the gown. If we can try to keep them lower for the rest of the season as much as possible that would be great.”

Amy gave her a sympathetic look, “Are you having foot pain already?”

Kat huffed out a laugh, “No... not yet, but I’m trying really hard to avoid it as much as I can.” 

Amy nodded before disappearing to the back. 

I knew Kat could see the confusion on my face when she glanced up at my reflection in the mirror. I didn’t understand what they were talking about. “Everything ok?”  

She gave me a tight smile, “Did you know that for every inch added to heels, the weight on the pad of your foot increases by 25%. Regulation heel height for ballroom is two and a half inches…for Latin it's three. Heels change your gait and the way you move. I have arthritis in my feet, knees, and hips. The heels and Latin dances really do a number on me because I’m too fucking old to be doing this. So, I’m trying to be proactive before it gets too bad to dance.”   

Suddenly everything made sense. My mouth fell open in shock. Fuck. I had no idea. “That’s why this is your last season?” 

She nodded, “Yep. I’m retiring from competitive dancing.” 

I could tell this wasn’t an easy decision. I could see how much she loved dancing. My heart was aching for her. That would be like me giving up acting. Just the thought of doing that freaked me the fuck out. 

I gave her a devilish smile, “Well, that settles it then. We’re gonna win this fucking competition. You’re going out on top.”

She laughed, grabbing my hand to pull me in for a quick side hug, “Thank you…for trusting me to be your partner.” 

I pulled her in closer for a tight hug, realizing she had multiple meanings behind her words. I could feel my chest tighten as I worked to steady my emotions. It seemed that both of us had demons to battle. As we pulled away, Amy appeared from the back with a different pair of shoes for Kat, “Best I can do is a one and a half inch. We don’t have a lot of lower heels on hand.” 

Kat took the shoes from her, “That’s perfect, I’ll take them. Thank you.”  

After we finished with Amy, we stopped in hair and makeup for quick touch ups. While we were getting touched up, I could tell Kat was starting to get nervous, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly as she looked up at the clock on the wall.

I glanced her way, “You good?” 

She chuckled, “Yeah, I always get a little pre-show jitters. It’ll pass. It’s 3:40…They’ll be bringing the audience in now. It’s almost time.” 

I pursed my lips then laughed, “You can’t be nervous. It’s gonna make me nervous.” 

She reached her hand across the space between the chairs, I grabbed it in mine so she could give it a comforting squeeze as she looked at me intently, speaking in a low voice, “You have no reason to be nervous. You’ve got this. After seeing some of the rehearsals, I honestly think you're one of the best on the cast this season. At least in the top three.”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, “Yeah, whatever. You’re just lubing me up.”

She gave me a toothy grin and laughed, “No, I’m serious.” 

Alec and Lana’s reflection caught my attention in the mirror as they walked into the room. I dropped Kat’s hand and gave her a small smile. Alec approached us from behind, walking around Kat’s chair to lean down and give her a quick kiss, “You look beautiful, baby. Good luck out there. Your dress rehearsal looked great.”

Kat’s brows arched as she chewed on the inside of her cheek, “Thank you. You too.” She gave him a small smile, but it looked forced. Alec moved to sit at the empty station beside Lana, but I could tell he was watching us through the mirror. Kat didn’t say much after that, not until we were finished and walking toward the dressing rooms so she could change back into her group performance costume. 

I waited for her in the hallway - going through the routine in my head as I stood there. It was only a few minutes before Kat joined me with her phone and wired earbuds in hand. As she walked over to me, I noticed she was looking down the hallway with an annoyed expression, I laughed quietly, “What’s wrong?”  

“Anika is looking at you like you’re a fresh piece of meat.” 

“Oh?” I turned in the direction Kat had been looking. Sure enough, there was a short blonde giving me a flirty smile. I gave her something between a grimace and smile back as I turned toward Kat, “Yeah, sorry about her luck. That’s not happening.” 

Kat laughed, “Why? Not your type?”

I shook my head, “No, not anymore. I don’t date party girls. Actually, I’m taking a hiatus from dating at the moment. They recommended that in rehab. At least until I’m sure I have my shit together.”  

Kat arched a brow in my direction, “So you haven’t…dated…anyone since you went to rehab…eight months ago?

I scratched at the back of my neck nervously, “Since before that. It’s been like eleven months since I hooked up with anyone.” 

She was now raising both eyebrows at me, “Hooked up?” 

I grimaced, “Yeah, I didn’t really do the whole relationship thing before. I was kind of a mess and an asshole.”

She chuckled, “I’m sure you broke a lot of hearts.”

I sucked air in through my teeth, “Ehhh…Doubtful. Most of them were just as fucked up as me. They were usually trying to get something outta me…money, fame…the list goes on. It’s part of the reason I have a hard time trusting people.”  

Kat was giving me an intense look now. It was that look that made my stomach do flips and my heart race in my ears. I could feel the electricity crackling between us again. 

“But you trust me?” More than anyone. 

I waited a beat to answer as my eyes roamed over her face, “Yeah...I do.” 

Joe and Stacia chose that moment to walk by, yelling out a 20-minute warning to start time. Stacia gave us a wide smile as they continued past us. I looked back at Kat, now realizing how closely we were standing. I backed away slightly as we gave each other an awkward smile. 

“We should probably head to the staging area.” I nodded and followed closely behind her. 

Before I knew it, the show was starting. I stood in the staging area, watching the group performance. Kat of course did the routine to perfection. Once they were finished, she had to run off to change. Luckily our performance was toward the end of the show, so she didn’t have to rush. I sat watching the show until she reappeared at my side, smiling and breathless. I gave her a lopsided grin, “You did amazing.” Her cheeks flushed at the compliment before she murmured a quiet “Thank you.” 

She busied herself with untangling her corded earbuds. As I watched her, I had to appreciate that she didn’t use the wireless kind. Once she had them untangled, she handed one of them to me. I gave her a confused look, “I like to listen to music to get hyped up before performances. It helps with the nerves.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face. This was something I often did while filming to get into character. 

I stuck the bud in my ear just as the familiar opening beats of Lose Yourself started playing. I glanced up at her, “Eminem…really?”   

She gave me a toothy grin, nodding before she started bobbing her head to the music. I laughed, following her lead. She grabbed my hands, shaking my arms and forcing me to move in time with her to the beat as she started quietly mouthing the words. If her goal was to distract me, it was working. By the time the song ended, it was nearly our turn. We stood bouncing on our feet to keep the energy going until it was time for us to walk out onto the dance floor and take our places. 

I could hear the blood pulsing in my ears as we waited for the music to start - both of us breathing heavily in anticipation. The electricity between Kat and I only seemed amplified by the audience's excitement as we walked down the small set of steps to the opening notes, arm in arm. The moment I took her hand for the inside turn, something just clicked between us as we moved in perfect synchronization across the dance floor. Our connection felt differently than it had during rehearsals. The heat of her bare skin caused my fingertips to tingle as they slid down her back and sides. I could sense that Kat felt it too because her eyes were blazing from the energy passing between us. It was almost like we were moving as one. I found the intensity of the moment was strangely intoxicating.

I was in a daze as the performance came to an end. Kat quickly pulled me in for a hug as she jumped up and down while the crowd applauded loudly around us. The performance went by so quickly I didn’t even have time to think. It was more muscle memory than anything. All I could do was let out the breath I had been holding and smile down at her as we walked over to speak with the judges. 

The judges mostly gave compliments, noting that we had pulled off the elegance of the dance, making it seem effortless and magnetizing. One of them even commented on the electricity and connection between us. I guess I wasn’t the only one that felt it. The feedback they gave was that I needed to make sure I was holding my frame all the way through the performance. That didn’t surprise me as Kat was constantly calling me out me on it. Holding the frame absolutely wore my back out, so it was a struggle.

After getting the judges feedback, we moved over to the interview area to answer a few questions about our performance while we waited for the scores to be chosen and verified. Kat grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly as I rambled on about the challenges I had during rehearsal. As I finished answering the question, the host went back to the judges for scoring. They gave us three 8’s and one 7. It was the highest anyone had scored so far. I was in shock as Kat pulled me in for another hug.  

Once we were back in the staging area, I burst out laughing. I couldn’t believe it. Once I finally got it together, I glanced at Kat who was smiling at me. Her eyes were still bright with emotion as I grabbed her, pulling her in for another tight hug, “I cannot believe we just did that…you were so fucking amazing.”

She pulled away, still smiling, “You were too. I told you, you’re good at this. If we keep that up, I think we have a real chance of making it to finals.”    

I nodded, suddenly feeling much more confident about this whole thing. 

We stayed around to see how the last few performances went, letting the adrenaline burn off as we critiqued the competition. There were only two other couples who had scores near ours. Anika and her partner were a few points below us. Alec and Lana were tied with us. I could feel Kat tensing beside me as the judges read off Alec and Lana’s scores. I knew she had to be considering how those two being our biggest competition could affect things going forward. It would undoubtedly create even more tension between her and Alec. There was also the narrative of the show to consider. Kat and I both knew the executive producers would somehow use this to their advantage.  

Next: Week 3 (Part 1)

A/N: Whew, we have soooooo much to unpack for this chapter. We had lots of bonding and some mild flirting with Dieter & Kat. You know I want to hear all your thoughts and thots about these two.

We had more shenanigans from Stacia and Joe. What do you think they are up to? Now we have Anika throwing some attention Dieter’s way. Then there is the Alec & Lana nonsense going on…and just Alec’s nonsense in general.

Also…Dieter is totally not being honest with his therapist AND he has a fucking cat now. 🤭

Of course they nailed their first performance. They are going to be a force to be reckoned with. Speaking of their performance, I’ve been watching A LOT of DWTS episodes and videos as I write this fic. So, for each week I’m going to share one or two videos that inspired Dieter & Kat’s performance for the chapter. This chapter’s inspiration is linked below. The first video is more of what I envisioned for their first dance. The second is a sexier foxtrot that would have had Dieter’s head spinning, but he’s totally down for it. Don’t worry, they will get there eventually.

✨More good stuff below the videos.✨

👉In case you missed it, head on over HERE to check out this amazing video that @survivingandenduring was kind enough to put together for Closed Position. It's hot and has all the Dieter & Kat ✨vibes✨. I’m still screaming over it!

👉I have started working on a playlist for Closed Position. I will be adding to it as inspiration strikes. I plan to add the songs used for Dieter & Kat's performances as we go along too.

Taglist: @secretelephanttattoo @titlee78 @maggiemayhemnj @legendary-pink-dot @morallyinept @survivingandenduring  @wannab-urs @harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @misstokyo7love @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @sin-djarin @cakipy-blog @missladym1981 @guelyury @weho2kcmo @alokaerza @girlofchaos @trulybetty @rhoorl @bitchwitch1981 @madnessofadaydreamer @darkheartgatita @jazzloveslatte @timpletance @musings-of-a-rose @samiamproductions @myloveistoolittle @for-a-longlongtime  @copperhalfcent @auteurdelabre @drewharrisonwriter @burntheedges @stevie75 @bunniboo0015 @quicax3 @jackie923 @sherala007 @pastelnap @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @jessthebaker @rebel-held @gwendibleywrites @pedrostories

*If your name is marked out, it wouldn’t let me tag you. ☹️

If you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know in the comments or shoot me a DM.

Credits: Support/MDNI Dividers: @cafekitsune Disco Divider: @deadbranch

#dieter bravo #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfic #dancing dieter #plant dad dieter #closed position series #Youtube #Spotify

[astr0exe]

K9 [COD MEN (POLY??) X M!READER] CH1

Ch.1 , Ch.2 , Ch.3

CAS’ MASTERLIST !!

reader is transmac and autistic cause i said so :)

AO3 VERSION : K9

SUMMARY: The boys meet someone new. He seems cool but his dog seems to enjoy ripping people apart.// The boys meet the K9 trainer

(first time transferring my AO3 work to tumblr so)

(my writing is also quite shit but hey ho)

( i project so so bad with this character)

(pls give me feed back)

CHAPTER 1

Soap's POV :

The Captain dragged us into a meeting and we have no idea why. I was busy watching Princess And The Frog after working out for ages, I just wanted to relax after so many back-to-back missions.

"Thank you all for showing up I do appreciate it, I know we are all probably tired, however I thought this was important to discuss before you saw them around the base." Huh saw who around base? Is someone new joining? I glanced around the room and caught Gaz's confused eyes.

"See who sir?" I asked cautiously, "___ they are the K9 trainer and his callsign is K9 because of this. He has a fully-grown perfectly trained cane corso who is with ___ at all times. If any of you are scared of big dogs then I am sorry because Bucky is huge. There will be a meeting introducing you all do not worry but I thought I should give you a heads up. Dismissed." Answered Price.

Whilst walking next to Ghost in the hallway I couldn't help thinking about what Price said. I don't even know what a cane corso looks like. Oh well, when I get to my room I'll find out cause Google is my friend. "Hey, Lt. Do you know what a cane corso looks like?" I questioned, "I think I have an idea, pretty sure they grow up to 70 cm (27.5 inches) ish and weigh up to 50 kgs (110 pounds) They are massive dogs." Ghost murmured.

I could feel my eyes bulging out of my sockets at the thought of a dog that big.As I finally got to my room, I instantly looked up what a cane corso looked like and I think I shit myself. I have to meet one of those tomorrow.

Time skip : meeting K9 and Bucky

We all sat in the common room for our introductions. Me and Gaz were playing uno whilst Ghost was just watching us like a babysitter would with two children whilst we were waiting for Price and ___. Slowly we heard footsteps, they sounded heavy like platform boots, you could hear heavy breathing coming from Bucky and mumbling muffled talking from K9 and Price. The footsteps gradually increased in volume until Price walked in along with an awkward-looking guy. He wore large combat boots which had to add at least 3 inches to his height, and a large leather jacket with lots of patches on ranging from band patches to quotes. Oh and a trans flag. Nice. His belt was studded like he bought it in the 2000s with added chains which actually looked heavy, he had black eyeliner on and a face mask. If he wasn't like 5"7 with his boots on I'd say he was terrifying.

After I finally stopped staring at this Greek god of an emo boy and got my shit together I noticed his dog, Bucky, who was eyeing everyone wearily as if at any point we would attack him or ___. With how intimidating they both look I think they suit each other.

"Um hi I'm ___ or K9 and I'll be training dogs you take on missions and sometimes taking the dogs on the missions myself. Nice to meet you all. As you all know, this is Bucky, he won't hurt you." He giggled towards the end and oh my god it's like I heard heaven gates open and when I gazed around the room I knew everyone felt the same with all the wide eyes and stuttering introductions.

"Well these are my boys, Lt. Ghost Riley , Sergeant Soap Mactavish and Sergeant Gaz Garrick. Boys this is Sergeant K9 he will be working with you as he described he will also be living on base and training with you lads so I expect them to come back to me feeling welcomed into the Taskforce is that clear?" Demanded Price. "Yes Sir." We all responded in unison.

As I observe K9 and Bucky I cant help but smile at how at ease he seems with his dog. I think he is gonna fit in perfectly.

#x male reader #x male y/n #cod x male reader #x transmasc reader #x trans male reader #cod fanfic #cod x reader #cas speaks

[amazingmsme]

So just imagine Ted meeting the rest of the Lords in Black. That man has no idea what the hell is going on, where the hell he is, or who the hell they are. But he doesn’t appreciate it & really isn’t all that impressed so I think he’d resort to being very snarky & defensive. Like they introduce themselves as the lords in black & legit do the whole song & dance. He just stands there swaying along & waits for them to finish & then goes “for the “lords in black” you sure are a bunch of rainbow lookin’ motherfuckers” complete with air quotes & everything

Chaos ensues when Tinky tries to keep his brothers from killing his new kidnapped boyfriend while Ted just keeps pissing them off on purpose

Shit like making fun of their full names in a teasey asshole way, which leads to informal introductions with their nicknames. & y’all he straight up bullies Wiggly & calls his ass out. Like “Wiggly? No relation to tickle me wiggly I suppose” & laughs at his own joke & Wiggly is quietly seething & goes “actually, yes” & Ted, lovable bastard that he is, doubles over in laughter like “oh my god, really? Fuckin’ A! So what, I just tickle your tummy and we’re friends or some shit?”

& Wiggly snatches his wrist & is like “don’t you even think about trying that again” & yeah it’s a little scary, but he’s pretty sure Tinky will protect him. So he just smirks & rolls his eyes like “ok riddle me this wise guy: why make a tickle doll of yourself if you don’t wanna get tickled?” & does that fucking shrug from tgwdlm (where he’s like I say we go & beg for the king’s help around 4:40 in the video) but he basically renders him speechless as he’s getting ready to lash out & make Ted eat those words. But Blinky’s like “we’ve all been thinking it, haven’t we?”

Ted is just enjoying the show as Wiggly’s all pissy & defensive like “I’ve told you it wasn’t even my idea!” But the rest of the lib are like “yeah suuuure” because they never pass up an opportunity to tease the shit out of him. & Ted just keeps stirring the pot & Wiggly decides to wreck him since he thinks this is all just so funny

#tgwdlm headcananons #npmd headcanons #lib headcanons #hatchetfield headcanon #tinkoffski #ted spankoffski #tinky #t’noy karaxis #tickle me wiggly #wiggly #wiggog y'wrath #lords in black #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #nerdy prudes must die #npmd #hatchetfield #hatchetverse

[towards-toramunda]

Back on my BUT WHAT IF PREDATHOS IS A GOOD OR NEUTRAL ENTITY HUH????

WHAT THEN???????????

WHAT IF LUDINUS IS ONLY TRYING TO RELEASE PREDATHOS SO HE CAN USE HIS MORE ADVANCED HARNESS THAT HES HAD HUNDREDS OF YEARS TO DEVELOP TO EAT THE GOD EATER AND THEN HE’LL BE ABLE TO EAT THE GODS????????????????????????

WHAT IF THE BELL’S HELLS DISCOVER THAT PREDATHOS EATS GODS “NOT BECAUSE OF MALICE, NOT BECAUSE OF MURDEROUS INTENT, BUT BECAUSE SOME THINGS HAVE TO EAT AND SOME THINGS HAVE TO BE EATEN” (QUOTE FROM MATT MERCER IN EPISODE 71 WHEN THEY WERE IN THE SHATTERED TEETH THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABOUT)??????????????????????

ALL CAMPAIGN WE’VE SEEN THE GOOD SIDE OF “BAD GUYS” LIKE WITH NANA MORRI OR THE NIGHTMARE KING OR BOR’DOR OR EVEN THE PCS THEMSELVES LIKE THEY’RE ALL TEXTBOOK VILLAIN NPCS (except orym thats my father right there)

WHAT IF THAT WAS ALL TO LEAD US TO PREDATHOS ACTUALLY BEING A FINE DUDE??????

Okay but all caps is hurting my eyes so lets discuss:

- we haven’t seen predathos and presumably they’re either asleep or in some sort of dormant state and have been since nearly the beginning of recorded history so there is no record of their form, true power, personality, etc. all we know is they (presumably, but lets be real yes they did) ate two gods

- Predathos was said to create “twisted life” but so far what we’ve seen from the life on Ruidius is just… *different* life. Red and spindly and alien, but not necessarily bad. Yes we’ve seen some reilorans siding with ludinus in the fight near the lava a few episodes back, but we also know that reliorans called by imogen have to do what she says so how do we actually know these ones were working on their own volition/weren’t misguided like bor’dor was?

- Quite a few times in this campaign we’ve been shown the theme that bad things are often not evil or malicious, (and evil things can be useful shoutout to Teven Klask). As mentioned earlier and by many people throughout this campaign: these PCs are easily the villain NPCs in any other dnd campaign

- When they went to the shattered teeth Matt said “You are uncertain who is who, but you get the sense that many innocent creatures have met their end in this land violently, not because of malice, not because of murderous intent, but because some things have to eat and some things have to be eaten.” And ever since I heard him say that I keep wondering if THAT is gonna be who predathos is! Because gods may meet their end to predathos violently, not because of malice, but because *some things have to eat and some things need to be eaten*

- And NOW with the introduction of ludi’s old harness and seeing just how powerful and dangerous it is I absolutely think that Ludinus has been working on a new one since he left molaesmyr and my *theory* is that he’s only trying to release predathos so he can suck in his power (maybe he’ll be the one controlling imogen’s powers then and YIKE) and have the ability to devour the gods/become one himself.

- Imagine how JUICY and INTERESTING it’d be if the hell’s realize that predathos is actually not a bad being, but a being who has been treated badly and then BAMB LUDINUS COMES IN WITH AN UPDATED HARNESS AND SUCKS HIS POWERS INTO HIMSELF?? HOW BATSHIT WOULD THAT BE?????? LIKE??????? COME ON

(This is all speculation I hate when I speculate on this hellsite and someone claims I’m trying to pretend I have a crystal ball that can see into the future with 100% certainty: I’m trying to have fun calm down)

#critical role #cr3 #bells hells #bell’s hells #critical role meta #cr meta #predathos #back on my what if predathos is good actually bull shit #I think predathos being good or neutral or apathetic is the most interesting *for me personally*