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#you have seen these traits in
nyxelestia · 28 days
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Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion in Fandom Community Spaces
One of my fandom servers recently imploded. I didn’t just want to post my immediate reactions and spend the next 3-5 business years litigating my feelings, so I took a few months to deconstruct what happened. Now I’m reconstructing everything into a case study on white supremacy culture in progressive spaces.
Below the poll, I’ve spelled out 17 traits of white supremacy culture, as they appear in progressive spaces, organized into four categories. I relied predominantly on the works of Tema Okun and Robin DiAngelo, whose works and websites expand upon everything I talk about.
I don’t want anyone to beat each other (or themselves) up if they’ve noticed these traits. Just fix it.
My goals with this guide:
Fans can put names to their observations.
Mods/Leaders of fandom spaces ask themselves, “how many of these have I done?”
Everyone gets an idea for what can be done about these traits.
Each listed trait has:
Definition of the trait
Common or fandom-specific examples
Suggestions to begin fixing it
Additional Commentary specific to this particular server incident
That makes this post very long, but it should be easy to skip over sections.
(If you are thinking of sending someone this post because they expressed a lot of these traits, first take a moment and identify how many of these traits you have practiced.
If someone sent you this post as an accusation, show them the above paragraph and ask what traits they recognize in their own behavior. If they say "none," ignore that person. I have will not facilitate the use of anti-racism as a smokescreen for bullying.)
I wasn't able to put this poll at the bottom of the post. I encourage you to wait until you get to the end and then answer the poll.
Because Tumblr polls expire in a week, I also encourage you to answer the same poll here on StrawPoll.
White Supremacy Culture Traits
Context (Basic Outline of What Happened)
In late Oct. 2023, someone on this server made an insensitive joke regarding Native American spirituality. They were quickly corrected by another member, and a third, indigenous member defended the gravity of their culture.
In DMs, a server mod (without the knowledge of the rest of the mod team) rebuked that indigenous server member for mini-modding, but claimed they would also moderate the person who made the joke in the first place; that person who made the joke was this mod’s friend.
This Inciting Incident Mod never did moderate their friend. When this came to light for the rest of the mod team in early Dec. 2023, the Inciting Incident Mod left before they could be ‘fired.’ Meanwhile, the Server Owner tried to cover up the preceding mess when announcing this mod’s departure.
The Indigenous Server Member used @everyone to explain to the server what had happened, dropped screenshots, and left the server.
When the community at large, including other mods, demanded more accountability and action from the mod team and the admins, the Server Owner doubled down on their defensiveness and denials for the next month.
Behind the scenes/in mod chats, the rest of the mods tried to advocate for the same things that the community was demanding. Most of their suggestions were shot down and input disregarded (primarily by the Server Owner).
Ultimately, all the mods were “let go” (fired), leaving only two admins. The second Admin largely followed the lead of the Server Owner, who was the one posting most of the announcements and engaging in the discourse.
The Admins unilaterally froze the server mid-conversations in late Jan. 2024.
They deleted the server on March 4th, 2024.
I. White Fragility
White fragility is the various phenomena by which white fans’ distress at discussions of racism take precedence over the actual occurrences of racism. This is not a conscious tactic, but the result of the layers of insulation from irl racism that white people are conditioned with, combined with white culture and experience being so pervasive as to become invisible.
1: Right To Comfort
Believing that white fans’ requirement for comfort in fandom spaces is more important than the on-going discomfort fans of color experience in the same spaces.
Examples:
Prioritizing the emotional and psychological comfort of some fans over the on-going experiences of other fans.
Scapegoating those who named the racism in the community and accusing them of ‘rocking the boat.’
These might sound familiar:
"This is just supposed to be a fun hobby."
"Can we get back to the good vibes?"
"Why can't we all just get along?"
“Hobbies/Fun shouldn’t be this much work.”
Treating any and all discussion of racism as acts of antagonism.
Fixes:
Learn to sit with discomfort before responding or (re)acting, especially if faced with an accusation. It’s an opportunity for growth, not an opening for attack.
Avoid taking criticisms personally, and avoid treating feedback as accusations. Yes, some accusations and call-outs are personal, but most are not. Even the ones that are personal need not be treated as final value judgments nor the end of the world.
Additional Commentary:
The white fan who’d made the insensitive joke in the first place did not lash out at being corrected. The discomfort was predominantly from some white mods who interpreted all mentions of racism as a conflict.
This trait is frequently found the trait called ‘Urgency.’
2: Defensiveness
Reacting to criticisms as if they were personal attacks, prioritizing comfort over growth, and using hurt feelings to derail discussions.
As author @xiranjayzhao put it in their video discussing a similar incident in the publishing industry, “If you are more concerned at being called racist than racism itself, that is an active hindrance to dismantling racism.”
Examples:
Treating criticism as threatening, inappropriate, or rude.
Focusing on making sure one’s own feelings or the feelings of community leaders are not getting hurt. This process often takes up more time and energy than addressing the actual problems do.
Spend energy defending against charges of racism instead of examining how racism might actually be happening.
White fans targeted by other oppressions (I.e. sexism, homophobia, etc.) express resentment because they feel that the naming of racism is erasing their experiences of marginalization from their other identities. This is especially prevalent in fandom as our communities are dominated by women and queer people.
Fixes:
Identify and understand the link between defensiveness and fear. When you recognize your own defensiveness, ask yourself what you are defending, and what you feel that you are defending against.
Develop culture of naming defensiveness when it arises.
Be honest with yourself and with the community about the power dynamics in the situation and respond thoughtfully. The person with greater power has the greater responsibility to name and move through their own defensiveness.
This is most important for small, online community leaders (I.e. Discord server mods). However little power we feel like we have, we still have more power than all the other members.
Additional Commentary:
Defensiveness was ultimately the biggest problem in this particular server’s implosion, and continues to be the most prevalent problem I observe in many other communities. The majority of the problems in these communities came not from actual acts of racism or patterns of insensitivity, but a few white fans’ defensiveness when these were named.
3: Fear of Open Conflict
When discomfort with talking about racism begets outright avoidance. This becomes “toxic positivity,” creating a pattern of suppressing any and all disagreements with a fixation on “keeping the peace.”
Examples:
Ignoring or deflecting conflict, no matter how minor.
Emphasis on tone, performing friendliness, and on everyone ‘calming down’ once even a hint of conflict arises.
Scapegoating people who bring up racism or equating criticisms with ‘rudeness.’
Fixes:
Role play, discuss, or plan for ways to handle conflict before it happens.
Don't require hard issues to be raised in `acceptable' ways.
Once a conflict is resolved, revisit it and see how it might have been handled differently.
Additional Commentary:
This particular server’s admin team was understandably hypersensitive to conflict; the server had been previously wracked by fandom dramas unrelated to racism. However, this sympathetic feeling metastasized into an unsympathetic habit of total conflict suppression. Had that Inciting Incident Mod not reacted to that faint hint of friction, or had the admins later been willing to name and acknowledge mistakes from the moderation team as an unintended instance of racism, almost none of this final drama would have happened.
4: Denial
Insistence that racism is an individual problem that requires intent; refusal to see or acknowledge systemic problems brought to one’s attention.
Examples:
A pattern of downplaying or denying what POC are saying about their experiences.
Insisting intent is more important than impact.
Insisting that if someone did not mean to be racist, then the harms they perpetuated cannot have been serious.
Insisting that a person or group can free from racialized conditioning, leading to statements like "I don't see color," “I don’t care what anyone’s race is,” “we can’t even tell race on the Internet,” and "we're all the same."
Fixes:
Learn to acknowledge any fear that naming racism brings up; the feeling is not wrong or right.­ Move through the feeling and address what has been raised.
Assume that any naming of racism is on target. Instead of asking, “is it racism,” ask, “how is it racism?”
Learn not to take accusations of racism or white supremacy culture as personal attacks or criticisms.
Get into the habit of saying, “tell me more,” instead of jumping to denial and counter arguments.
II. Exceptionalism
AKA “the Illusion of Control.” The belief, conscious or subconscious, that one knows the right way to do things and is uniquely qualified implement it. This might literally mean one’s self, or just people similar to one’s self.
5: Paternalism
The belief that one can dictate what is ‘best’ for everyone or make decisions on others’ behalf without their input.
Examples:
Deeming it unnecessary to understand the viewpoints and experiences of people for whom one is making decisions.
Labeling people for whom one is making decisions as unqualified.
Majority of community members get marginalized from decision-making processes. Either there is no mechanism for community input, or community input is disregarded by those in power.
Frequently, these decisions also have the most outsized impact on those with the least power, e.x. members who don’t have personal friendships with mods.
Fixes:
Realize that everyone has a worldview, including you. No one’s experiences or education (or lack thereof) disqualifies them from having agency in your community.
Always include those most affected by community decisions in the brainstorming and decision-making processes.
Build in an understanding that every approach yields unintended consequences; even the most strategically made decisions will have unanticipated consequences.
Additional Commentary:
The Server Owner consistently made unilateral decisions on other people’s behalf. They also required members to be 21+ in this server, despite the show it was for only being 18+
In the interest of living up to my own standards, I must acknowledge that I was also being paternalistic.
When I first joined the server, I questioned that age requirement. The Server Owner claimed that they felt uncomfortable talking about mature topics around 18-20 year olds…and “joked” that they viewed 18-20 year olds like children. Their defensiveness reminded me of elementary school children insisting kids in the grade immediately below them are babies. On the spot, I thought the Server Owner must be in their early 20s at the oldest. With zero evidence but a lot of confirmation bias, this feeling cemented into an assumption due to some of their moderation choices (e.x. pinning messages by their whims, thus confusing newcomers). I even wondered if they grew up in a cult environment due to unusual gaps in their knowledge (e.x. being surprised that it didn’t snow in most of Thailand). I thought I could and should, over time, convince them of 'better' ways to moderate, and attributed my disagreements with some of their moderation choices to their youth.
Then the Server Owner mentioned having been to uni nearly 20 years ago, making them almost double the age I’d assumed they were.
Looking back, this was an act of paternalism on my part that spanned over a year and a half. I’m not proud of this, and I would like to think I would still come to be ashamed of this even if the Server Owner actually had been as young as I thought they were. Regardless of their actual age, this was an incredibly paternalistic viewpoint for me to have about any adult.
6: Power Hoarding
People scrabbling to hold onto whatever little power they have; resisting anything which makes them feel threatened in their position of leadership or influence.
Examples:
Feeling threatened when someone suggests changes in how things should be done in the community.
Suggestions for change often get taken as an indicator of poor leadership.
People with power insisting they do not feel threatened or defensive in the face of suggestions for change.
Assuming that anyone wanting a change are ill-informed or malicious.
“Blaming the messenger,” such as focusing on the person advocating for change rather than the substance of what change they are trying to make.
Fixes:
Leaders should expect challenges and change and learn to see this a sign that someone cares about the community enough to want to stay and reform it. Because our spaces are predominantly for hobbies, people have less need to stay, even if they have a strong desire to. If someone truly thought we were hopeless leaders, they would not be advocating for change; they would just leave.
Adopt a “tell me more” approach when someone suggests a change or challenges an existing structure * even if the thing they are trying to change is something you care deeply about preserving.
Make friends with your ego. Everyone has one. You’ll do better in the long run when you know what will automatically kick up your defensiveness; don’t try to pretend nothing will.
Additional Commentary:
The admins caused many of their own problems by consistently disregarding others’ input; they not only ignored the criticisms of the community, they ‘fired’ the entire rest of the mod team for giving suggestions that the admins did not want to hear.
7: Individualism
Believing that one can be immune from social conditioning and systemic biases, or that individual actions are sufficient to change a community.
Examples:
Believing that one can be “isolated” from the conditioning of the culture they were raised in.
Not seeing the ways dominant identities * in gender, class, sexuality, religion, able-bodiedness, age, etc. * are informed by belonging to a group that shapes cultural norms and behavior.
This one is also hard for people in fandom to recognize. Many of us are marginalized in one aspect of our identity, and marginalization in one area can make it incredibly difficult to recognize or acknowledge privilege in another.
Accusing people advocating for change of “not being team players,” because one does not recognize the large groups on whose behalf they are advocating for.
Focusing on whether or not an individual “is racist,” while ignoring systemic racism in the community’s culture or leadership.
Fixes:
Get into the habit of acknowledging both your marginalizations and your privileges. For example, I am a queer woman of color, which are three traits of marginalization. I was also raised middle-class, I have a college degree, and I am cis; three traits of privilege. All these traits inform my experiences and world view and make me subjective in different ways.
Learn how our dominant identities and how our membership in dominant identity groups informs us both overtly and covertly (while realizing too that these identities do not have to define us).
Realize we all have internalized conditioning, including racist conditioning. Commitment to anti-racism is not about being ‘good’ or ‘bad;’ it’s a commit to challenge one’s own conditioning and subconscious biases on an on-going basis.
Focus on collective accountability as much as individual accountability.
Because many people, especially on social media, use ‘accountability’ as a euphemism for ‘punishment,’ I want to be clear that this does not mean collective punishment. It means recognizing that people react to their peers (dis)approval on even the smallest scale, that people want to fit in, and that people often fear standing out. We are often not making individual decisions so much as “going with their gut” or “going with the flow.” When that’s the case, that means we need to re-condition what our gut tells us and change where that flow is going * both of which are community actions, not individual ones.
Additional Commentary:
In the Individualism page on her website, Tema Okun shared a personal story about how her upbringing had blinded her to the very real risks her POC colleagues faced even while working with well-intentioned white leaders. This story resonated with me and my experience in this fandom server.
The white admins either did not understand (or did not care) what it would cost a POC like me to try to help them. I was attempting to mediate rather than prosecute, and speaking gently as I did - which I was only doing to try to balance the need for change against the admins’ need for white comfort. Multiple people blocked me during this time period, and most did not see what came after. I try not to assume I’m more important or relevant than I am, but I and many others noticed the drastic change in the admins’ behavior once my rhetoric shifted from ‘benefit of the doubt’ to ‘naming mistakes and suggesting changes.’ I was trying to help the admins, but it came out to nothing and I still ended up paying a price and losing friends.
8: I'm The Only One
The assumption that one knows best; therefore, they have the unique right and responsibility to take unilateral action.
Examples:
Believing that the only way to get something done right is to do it one’s self. (Related to ‘One Right Way.’)
Believing that only one person is entitled or qualified to determine the right way and take action, typically in isolation from the people who will be impacted by our decisions.
Often goes hand-in-hand with micro-management (or in the case of online communities, micro-moderation).
Attempting to downplay or cover-up flaws or mistakes in leadership, fearing that the community cannot survive people discovering leadership isn’t perfect.
Fixes:
Hold ourselves and each other accountable for mistakes without assuming that we need to be perfect to lead.
Focus on collaborative and collective strategies for responding to mistakes, including accountability but also growth and inner development.
Leaders should make an effort to take in input from as many sources as possible, including the people saying things they do not like, do not want to hear or are challenging their leadership.
Especially the individuals who hold the most power, such as server admins and owners (who have more power than other mods). The higher up in this hierarchy that we are, the more likely that anyone who truly thinks we’re hopeless would simply opt to leave…which means the higher up in the hierarchy we are, the more likely that anyone who is challenging us still expects both themselves and us to stay where we are. Their challenges are not a threat, but an opportunity for growth.
Additional Commentary:
Those last two bullet points under Examples and Instances are what kicked off the entire server-ending drama in the first place. Even though the Inciting Incident Mod made a truly disappointing mistake, I don’t actually see them as having made the biggest misstep in this mess. This mod micro-managed someone and abused their power to shield a friend, but had the admins been willing to acknowledge those mistakes directly, most of the ensuing drama would not have happened.
When I asked the Server Owner to let someone else take over the server instead of closing it off completely, they claimed all the people I suggested were not equipped to handle the server. The only person they were willing to let take over the server was someone who had uncritically supported them during all the discourse. (Though I later found out that this entire discussion was never in good faith to begin with; explanation in the Final Feelings section below.)
9: Entitlement.
Assuming a right to something without any consideration for the possibility that one may not have the right. This assumption frequently is unidirectional and/or implicitly only functions as long as most other people do not have a similar right.
This trait was not core to either Tema Okun’s work on white supremacy culture nor Robin DiAngelo’s work on white fragility. However, it is an underlying component of racism (who is entitled to what), white supremacy culture (entitlement to other people’s works), and white fragility (entitlement to comfort).
Examples:
Assuming that one does not need to ask (or wait for an answer) to use someone else’s work for one’s own purposes. (Related to the trait ‘Urgency.’)
Believing that people’s boundaries regarding their work or creations do not matter. I hope I don’t need to spell out why this problem gets so in fanfic-based fandom spaces. That can of worms would need its own post and I’m already exhausted from this post.
Related to Right to Comfort: believing one is entitled to a peaceful community, even when it comes at the expense of everyone else’s sense of safety and belonging.
Fixes:
Assume one does not have permission until and unless told you do.
Graciousness if someone does not want you to use their works.
Their reasons may have nothing to do with you, so also learn not take someone else’s refusal personally.
When you do assume a right, take a moment to imagine it’s reversal (I.e. everyone else having the same rights to your work or output). How comfortable are you with this prospect of everyone ‘borrowing’ from you that which you are currently trying to borrow from someone else?
Additional Commentary:
I detailed my direct experience with the admins' entitlement down below under the trait titled ‘Urgency.’
This trend continued with their behaviors towards what server content they did and didn’t delete prior to deleting the whole server. When fans who left or were banned insisted all their own messages in the server be deleted, they were refused on the basis of ‘preserving’ the server. Yet the admins had no problems deleting every channel that had even a shred of discourse in it. They later deleted a few other channels on the grounds of people’s personal information potentially being in those channels and putting members at risk…except that if there was any such information, it had always been present in this channels; why did it suddenly matter now? I concede that they eventually deleted the individual members’ messages per their requests, and that the fear-mongering about private information came from another member altogether. However, between nebulous accusations that an admin had been party to a past doxxing of this member in the first place and the on-going problem of the admins behaving with false urgency (another trait below), I’m having a very hard time being sympathetic about this or giving them any more benefit of the doubt. Their selection of which channels to delete look less like protecting server members and more like a failed attempted to protect their own reputations.
III. Binary Thinking
This is not just a futile attempt to simplify reality, but an entitlement to a simplified reality and a habit of attempting to force others into one’s own dualistic constructions.
10: Either/Or
Polarization of issues and assumptions, categorical thinking, and viewing everything through this binary lens.
Examples:
Positioning or presenting options or issues as either/or -- good/bad, right/wrong, with us/against us, pro/anti, good/evil, safe/dangerous, etc.
Related to Perfectionism: a suggested solution must be either perfect or it’s useless.
Tendency to escalate instead of de-escalating, especially in a context where de-escalating is viewed as dismissing a problem.
Generalizing individual experiences or statements to the collective, or attempting to dismiss a claim because it is coming from an individual; either “everyone” is saying something or “no one” is saying it.
Fixes:
Cultivate a habit or community culture of looking for multiple ‘takes,’ viewpoints, and conclusions.
Break the habit of trying to sort people and ideas into two or a few categories.
Practice taking situations with seemingly only two possibilities and identifying points between them or alternative options altogether.
Be willing to set a future date or deadline for continuing a disagreement in order to de-escalate emotions in the moment. We have more options than either fixing everything in the moment or ignoring problems forever.
Additional Commentary:
When asked for transparency, this server’s Admins acted as if mistakes had to be either ignored or turned into a big production. This left no room to acknowledge a mistake, learn, and move on, since that was neither ignoring the mistake nor treating it with sufficient drama.
11: Perfectionism
Belief that there is a single right way to accomplish something. Belief that individuals must implement only correct, successful actions (and that missteps and mistakes represent fundamental character flaws).
Examples:
Mistakes are seen as personal, i.e. they reflect badly on the person making them.
Making a mistake is confused with being a mistake; doing wrong is confused with being wrong.
Believing a problem can be permanently resolved with the correct or ‘perfect’ course of action.
Fixes:
Develop a community where the expectation is that everyone will make mistakes, but those mistakes are opportunities for learning, not value judgments.
Accept that, when faced with a systemic or deeply entrenched issues, community leaders will need time to address the problems.
They will probably need to try multiple ideas, some of which might not work. That’s okay; it does not have to be a failure if you learn from it and try again.
Additional Commentary:
In the case of this server’s implosion, perfectionism appeared with the Admins’ fixation on looking for a solution that would ‘put the matter to rest.’ They ignored or actively derided suggestions that did not ‘solve’ the problem in its entirety.
12: One Right Way
The belief that there is a particular correct or ideal way of doing this (and that fault lies with others for not following this particular correct way).
Examples:
Assuming that once people are introduced to the right way, they will ‘see the light’ and adopt it.
Believing that when one’s way is not working, the fault lies with everyone else for not ‘converting,’ not the method itself.
Related to perfectionism: believing there is a singular or permanent solution to on-going, systemic problems.
Believing only certain people are qualified to address or resolve problems. This is especially prevalent among people whose post-secondary education was mostly institutional (i.e. college).
Fixes:
Create a culture of support that recognizes how mistakes sometimes lead to positive results.
Challenge notions of what constitutes the "right way" and what defines a "mistake."
Catch our internalized assumptions about being ‘qualified’ to fix a problem on our own or take on a large responsibility.
Additional Commentary:
Once again, in the interests of living up to my own standards, that means admitting when I’m doing or did the very habits I’m castigating. While my intent was not to behave as if I thought there was One Right Way, I recognize that my actions had the same impact as if I did believe in One Right Way. I presented a solution (collection of rules, guides, and channels) from a server I owned in another fandom entirely, and implied that there was only one right way to ‘fix’ the server.
That said, their conduct in utilizing this also reflected Entitlement and Urgency (which is where I elaborated).
13: (Belief in) Objectivity
The belief that there is some neutral, unbiased experience or viewpoint a person can have.
Because patriarchy so often uses claims of emotionality to dismiss women, many women become oversensitive to claims of subjectivity or identity-based bias. This can make recognizing the invalidity of objectivity difficult in communities whose leadership is dominated by women, especially white women (as white men tend to be most likely to rely on accusations of excess emotion in the first place).
Examples:
Fixation on prioritizing facts over feelings, or thinking feelings can be disregarded and ignored.
Requiring people to think in a linear fashion or otherwise expecting others to perform only the type of logic validated by those in power.
Those in power get to be scared, hurt, or angry and still viewed as rational/logical, while marginalized people who are visibly scared, hurt, or angry are deemed irrational/illogical.
Refusal to acknowledge when a certain line of logic is covering an emotional bias, perspective, or agenda.
Fixes:
Own up to one’s subjectivity; instead of assuming that one can have some arch-neutral worldview, be clear about your background, experiences, and potential biases (whether you believe you actually have these biases or not).
Recognize your own worldview will be as subjective as everybody else’s. If your view of society is also part of the dominant view of society (e.x. if you are white and/or cis and/or male and/or…), this means you were probably conditioned to believe certain assumptions are objective when they are actually subjective.
There is no way to be human without being biased by one’s identity and experience; some identities are just so privileged or normalized by institutions that they are the “invisible” default or norm.
Get into the habit of trying to determine what a situation you are in looks like from the outside, what information others do and do not have, or getting diverse perspectives on various situations.
By “get into the habit,” I mean we should practice doing this even in situations without confrontation, crisis, or argument. Analyze successful incidents and events this way to get the practice for handling unsuccessful incidents and crises.
Utilize ‘I’ statements and make sure not to assume that your personal experience is the same as everyone else’s experiences.
Community leaders have to take extra special care with what we say about our communities and how we present our assumptions and experiences. When we claim a community is trustworthy or safe, we just make it even less trustworthy or safe for anyone feels otherwise, because this disconnect between our experiences (that we generalize) and theirs (that we individualize) creates a barrier against further feedback.
Additional Commentary:
This was also related to at least one admin struggling to disconnect their own experiences with everyone else’s experiences. To the admin, because so much of their own time was consumed by this discourse, they spoke and behaved as if this were consuming the entire server. They did not realize that most of the members of the server had nothing to do with this discourse, and many did not even know it was happening…until the admin started repeatedly utilizing @everyone. This implies the admin viewed their own experience as “objective” and thus projected their own experience onto everybody else.
VI. Validation Seeking
I called this collection of traits ‘validation seeking’ because they all trace back to appeals to external authorities or claims of external pressures.
14: Progress = More
Assuming solutions always require “more” of something; never considering that existing resources could be sufficient or that “less” might be a solution.
Examples:
Assuming the goal is always to grow membership, rather than maintaining an enjoyable community
Assuming that “more” will fix a problem (e.x. more moderators will fix a moderation problem)
Disregarding the costs of growth (such as how increased number of channels can make a community overwhelming to newcomers)
Valuing people who have achieved a certain milestone or objective metric of progress more than those who have not (e.x. valuing older members over younger ones, valuing college-educated members over those without college education, etc.)
Fixes:
Try to make sustainable decisions, with an aim not for endless growth but maintaining the actual goal of the community.
When pursuing “more” of something to solve a problem, first evaluate what you actually need and determine why the existing number of resources is no longer sufficient when it previously had been.
For example, are you actually pursuing more moderators because there is an increase in activity and the existing moderation team feels burnt out and falling behind? Or are you just assuming that you need more moderators regardless of activity levels?
15: Quantity Over Quality
Believing that only things that can be numerically measured have value (and that things which cannot be measured have little to no value).
Examples:
Fixation on things like number of members in a community (quantity) over the members’ relationships and experiences in said community (quality)
Treating quantified milestones as a goal in their own right, rather than means to an end or a guideline (e.x. acquiring a certain number of moderators or maintaining a certain number of channels in a server)
Discomfort with emotions and feelings (as they cannot be measured objectively)
Fixes:
Determine traits and practices important to your community which cannot be easily quantatively (safety, respect, mutualism, etc.) and think of ways to evaluate them (for example: open-ended questions in a survey instead of relying exclusively on numerical ratings or menu options)
Focus less on output goals and more on process goals, such as how many new ideas were considered or how many people felt fully heard in a meeting. Even if, in the short run, this feels like leading to a bunch of unproductive meetings, in the long run this creates a more robust decision-making process.
Treat ‘accountability’ not as a euphemism for punishment (which social media tends to do), but as an opening for receiving support.
Additional Commentary:
The admins fixated on obtaining more moderators, but the reality is that the problems facing the community did not need more moderators, but rather a shift in culture altogether - a thing which could have easily been engendered by the admins on their own, even without additional moderators.
16: Worshiping the Written Word
Fixation on knowledge provided by institutions over people’s lived experiences and on-going, dynamic realities.
This one is hard to recognize in virtual communities because most or all of our interactions are “written” in chats and social media.
Examples:
Attempting to use dictionary definitions of words as arguments in and of themselves or treating them as the end of an argument.
Refusing to acknowledge that the way people use a word in daily living may not match up to the institutional definition.
Using errors in spelling, grammar, or language to justify dismissing someone’s arguments.
Over-valuing people who can write well (or just write a lot), and undervaluing the contributions from people who rely on other media formats or informal documentation.
Fixes:
Treat encyclopedia articles and dictionary definitions as a conversation starter, not an argument ender, e.x. “This is my understanding of that word; what’s yours?” or “In what ways does this ‘official’ definition fall short?”
Focus less on using resources (articles, videos, guides, etc.) as an appeal to authority in an argument, and more as a starting point from which you develop your own community guidelines.
Additional Commentary:
I had an out-sized impact on discourse simply because I could write a lot in one go. Some of that was me anonymously relaying other people’s words on their behalf and some was original on my part; most of what I said simply reiterated what others had already conveyed. However, as I did so in a pseudo-academic manner, my word was given more weight.
Sharing of resources like educational articles or videos were treated as the end of a discussion, rather than the start of one.
17: Urgency
Applying extremely short deadlines to action, giving no time for rest or consideration. Utilizing the overarching urgency of racism as an excuse for short-sighted, short-term actions.
Examples:
Related to Quality Over Quantity: prioritizes measurable actions over impact.
Fixation on appearing to address racism moreso than actually doing it.
Uses expediency to justify poor-decision making processes or lack of consideration (related to Entitlement, Power Hoarding, and Conflict Aversion).
Often relies on perpetuating the idea that racism can be “solved” (which in turn implies that future accusations of racism cannot be made, nor community problems discussed).
Creating a culture of anxiety as people believe they must act immediately or they will never get to act at all.
Related to Right to Comfort: rushing decision-making in order to rush towards an idealized state of no further conflict.
Fixes:
When the feeling of urgency arises, slow down and encourage people pause, restate the goal, and dive deeper into alternatives.
Avoid making decisions under extreme pressure.
Work to distinguish what is actual pressure and what is pressure that you or others are creating.
Establish plans ahead of time for how decisions will be made during times of urgency, and how crises can be handled in the short-term while leaders evaluate ideas for long-term change.
This is related to Conflict Avoidance. When community leaders are uncomfortable with conflict, this also means not wanting to think about potential conflicts, and thus having no plans when conflict arises anyway. Becoming comfortable with conflict also allows planning for conflict management.
Additional Commentary:
When I showed the admins my fandom wank resolving set-up from another server (as mentioned in my additional commentary on One Right Way), they asked me if they could just use it as it was. However, they were too impatient to actually wait for an answer and used it, anyway, before I could respond. It was very clear that my answer never actually mattered to them. Had they waited, I would have explained how this exact set-up was not a good fit for this community and its current problems; I was sharing it assuming they would use it as a source of inspiration to brainstorm their own ideas for their own server. In addition, while I did not mind sharing, these were not my sole creation, but the product of a team of mods in my other server. Even if it had been a good fit, I would have checked with other mods whose labor had gone into this set-up to see if they were also alright with its wholesale reuse.
My experience is only one example. Ultimately, the admins kept fumbling, and increasingly claimed it was all due to the pressure and demands from the community that they ‘handle it’ - refusing to acknowledge that community members weren’t asking for an immediate solution to every problem. This urgency was self-inflicted. The server admins disregarded all their remaining mods’ suggestions that would have given them more time to address these problems carefully. Server-wide slow-downs, channel trimming, temporary server freeze, etc. - the admins had multiple ideas given to them, but shot them all down. The admins’ goal was not to address the problems, but to suppress discussions of racism as fast as possible because they were uncomfortable with admitting its existence in the first place (see Right to Comfort at the top).
Final Feelings
What Took Me So Long To Say Anything?
I didn’t want to risk the admins prematurely deleting the server out of spite. They were already unilaterally and suddenly taking away a community space from hundreds of fans entirely for their own benefit. I could not count on them being above robbing people the final opportunity to recover the last shreds of their materials and memories from the server.
I also, quite frankly, just had a lot going on in my offline life.
I continued to take my time even after they deleted the server because I was hurt and furious. I needed time to turn what was originally a soliloquy of my sorrows into an educational guide.
This was exacerbated by finding out that the admins faked the ‘death’ of the server:
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As you can imagine, I was furious - and to be honest, I still am. That anger was precisely why I made myself slow down. I did not want to burn down the fandom for the sake of keeping only myself warm.
Complicated Feelings
I feel hurt and betrayed by the Admins and disappointed in the Inciting Incident Mod…but one thing I will say for them is that they expressed interest in learning the language and culture of the country that our fandom’s show came from.
They showed far more interest than that aforementioned Indigenous Server Member ever did.
I don’t begrudge this indigenous fan for defending their cultural tradition, nor their anger over how it was handled. I also acknowledge that in fandom and irl, Asian diaspora often end up partaking in white supremacy culture and entitlements. However, I do find this fan's umbrage at the initial ignorance to be tremendously hypocritical given this fan’s approach to Asian cultures, traditions, and histories. Their fanfics, server interactions, and other fanworks in this Asian media fandom demonstrated incredible disregard about Asian cultures - one which this fan never showed any interest in undoing or challenging.
I doubt it was a coincidence that this fan blocked me on Discord right around the time I started talking about the westernization of eastern characters and settings. Even if it was, that doesn’t lessen the pervasive apathy towards Asian culture in their fandom activities.
I routinely see fans call for the decolonization fandom when it comes to BIPOC people settings, only for these same fans to turn around and perpetuate the colonization of fandom when it comes to Asian people and settings.
This does not mean western fans shouldn’t participate in an eastern fandom! This participation is the best way to learn about a new culture. Mistakes and missteps are parts of the learning process, both at the individual level and at the collective level.
This is also not to pass a judgment on that specific fan or their creative works. That would be hypocritical of me in turn, given I’ve enjoyed some of those stories and fanworks, anyway.
I am bringing this up to demonstrate why solidarity is difficult for fans of color.
As an Asian diaspora fan in particular, I hate feeling like my choices are “BIPOC fans with ignorance and apathy that they don’t want to unpack” and “white fans with supremacy culture that they don’t want to unpack.” Either way, I’m going to have to put up with a ton of entitlement (never mind the rampant fetishization of Asians from all sides, which is its own can of worms I can’t even open right now).
And if I try to speak up about any of this, I will get blocked or I will be accused of being an anti-fandom killjoy.
Again.
Final Thoughts
People change for the better, and communities change for the better.
I know fandom can change because I’ve seen how it’s already changed. Fans take social justice issues and racial justice issues far more seriously than they did 20, 10, or even 5 years ago, and that’s just my own living memory of fandom.
We should always take a moment to recognize and celebrate how much better we are today than we were in the metaphorical yesterday.
But being better than yesterday does not mean being good enough for tomorrow.
And we still have a long way to go.
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Thank you for reading this monstrously long post all the way to the end. Please remember to answer the poll at the top. Please reblog, and I encourage you to add your own experiences when you do.
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strawberrybabydog · 2 months
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if we keep doing uwu soft little vampire and big strong dumb werewolf how are we going to ever break out of gender binary
if i see 1 more artist make the masculine/larger/stronger human partner into the werewolf im going to freak out
lycanthropy is about losing yourself. please i am begging you to make someone random, someone unequipped, into a werewolf. please. small scrawny werewolves who are weak and scared, feminine werewolves, werewolves who struggle with the idea of taking something's life (even another animal for food) werewolves who refuse to get dirty because they're averse. werewolves need more than 1 mental illness yall
its kind of a joke at the beginning but not really. make an insane jacked vampire and her petite femme werewife with braided patterned fur or something; make the vampire a seamstress who wont quit until her werewife has the perfect fitting dress for her new furry body. stop with the "oh this character is butch/masc, CLEARLY they would make a good werewolf" shut uuuuupp be a LITTLE more creative. come on!!! do you really think every single werewolf has a premium gym membership? quit drawing them like it !!!
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trans-buckleyy · 25 days
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while I do think misogyny is a massive problem in the 911 fandom as a whole, I think relatively few of the people who hate buck and eddie's past love interests don't also hate tommy, sure the hate is slightly different (and realistically slightly less vitriolic) because he's a guy and "we finally got bi buck" but the amount of homophobia and biphobia being aimed at buck and tommy's characters is ridiculous... treating tommy like he's predatory (come on now buck is 32), claiming that buck's bisexual arc is "pointless" if he's with tommy, wanting buck to cheat (cheating storylines are whatever but lets be real none of you were okay with him cheating with a woman but now that it might validate your ship, you're suddenly fine with it), saying anyone who even remotely likes bucktommy is 'fetishising mlm relationships' and 'just wants to see two guys kiss', not to mention the purity culture surrounding the idea that a friends to lovers relationship is morally better than a relationship that starts with dating.
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tvckerwash · 2 months
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you know, an interpretation of ct that I don't see that I personally really love is that she's a fuck up. like yes she's cool and she has some good fight scenes, but a huge part of her character is that she makes mistakes. the mistakes that she makes are ones that on their own aren't the end of the world, but she keeps making these little mistakes, and they eventually add up until she's out of room to make any more.
a really good example of this phenomenon in action is the actions she took leading up to her final confrontation with carolina and tex.
strike one, she thought she saw something in the water, but when asked by the leader what it was, she brushed it off as nothing when even if it had been nothing, it would've been smart to tell him what she thought she saw.
strike two, she didn't sense or notice florida's presence when the leader did, and she looks at the leader twice, once as she pulled out her magnums, and again after she did a scan of the room, almost like she was looking at him for guidance before he finds florida and takes him out with one good axe throw.
strike three, she couldn't convince the leader to leave when they had the chance to get away, and her cheap tricks were not enough to hold off either tex or carolina in a fight. they were only good for incapacitating her opponents enough for her to get away, which doesn't work when she has no escape.
ct is not tex, or carolina, or south. she is not a one woman army who can get herself out of trouble when she's stuck in tough situations. she needs people who can watch her back, she need a team who can cover her when she does mess up, and the leader and his team were not those people. she couldn't bring herself to trust them, and they couldn't bring themselves to trust her, and that cost all of them their lives.
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hika-jun · 1 year
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TRANSFEM RUBY PROPAGANDA
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strangertheories · 3 months
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non-lgbt neurotypicals after a successful day of telling neurodivergent queer people that their headcanons are secretly ableist and anti-lgbtq
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sunflowerwizard · 4 months
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Dragon Age discourse nose dived off a steep hill so Baldur's Gate 3 discourse could walk up the hill, loudly declare they're better, then tumble down the exact same way.
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sophiethewitch1 · 2 months
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www!reader WILL call batman a pussy for not killing on her private twitter. she does it like every other day. its cathartic
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3416 · 1 year
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anyway. this is maybe my favorite thread i’ve found on twitter the past couple days about why empathy directly translates to being able to enjoy sports regardless of the outcome. we’d all be better off and less bitter if we were willing to embrace the randomness of sport (especially ice hockey) or admit that the people we’re watching are actual people, lol. thank you twitter user himbeaux_on_ice for the logic in a sea of ugliness lkjsdklfjsdkl
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time-is-restored · 8 months
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btw not to make everything about My Fucking Guy but i honestly think one of the things that seperates q!phil out from the other islanders is the approach he takes to dealing with the lack of agency + control all the islanders have over whatever the fuck the federation's doing.
it shows up most prominently whenever tubbo is excitedly telling him about the 'progress' he's made with cucurucho or various investigations (ie: trapping him into a corner with the 'do you have free will' questions), and phil always shoots it down w an immediate 'that doesn't mean anything. curucuho will say anything to mess with you. you can't take anything he says as true.'
and it's not that phil is... a paticularly pessimistic character? he's just EXTREMELY practical. like, he's yet to give up on anyone EVER finding ANY answers (he was the one who initially gave the federation that one week ultimatum w the cage for a cage stream), he just doesn't trust the idea that curucuho is ever going to voluntarily give them. they're uncontrollable + senseless - you might as well argue with the weather.
and like, if that's how he sees the one (1) and only point of contact the islanders HAD with the federation for months, it explains a lot abt his characters lifestyle! ofc he sits on the wall all day, talking to his kids, and keeping his head down. he believes that the federation wants nothing more than to drag the islanders into sick games + tasks just so they can fuck with their head (ie: curucuho revealing he was the one cellbit gathered all that information for). and while he can't totally PREVENT any of that from ever impacting him, he can make sure his kids are well fed, well protected, and as happy + comfortable as he can manage. this is objectively not a perfect situation, there is a guaranteed amount of suffering + fear that he can't mitigate, but he can at least account for it.
like, he REFUSES to engage. whenever curucho shows up, he treats them with total ambivalence. he's not going to get riled up by anything they do, he's not going to get super attached to the guy, he's just gonna laugh it off and irish goodbye it when things drag on. the ONLY time he's strayed from that general guiding principle has been since he's lost his eggs, and can no longer afford to let the federation's fuckery go: those are his fucking kids.
hence the completely unprecedented levels of outward rage and sadness and terror he shows throughout the birdcage streams - almost all directed directly to cucurucho. it's all a completely fair + proportional response to the horror the islanders are being subjected to, but it feels so different bc until now, q!phil has been so dedicated to not reacting, and not giving the federation any sign that they're actually getting to him.
#qsmp#q!phil#LIKE. does anyone else think this! i genuinely believe its like one of the major#traits of his character i feel like u can trace it through Everything.#the man lives with the constant knowledge that sometimes all it takes is a tempting ravine and a badly timed creeper to end a life#whether that life belongs to a stranger or someone you love more than anything else in the world#you COULD rage against that. you could scream and shout and tear your hair out and grieve for the futility of it all#but what does that change? the days march on. death waits either way#and that's not to say he's a laizesfair kind of guy. anyone who's seen him stress out abt chayanne's risk taking + freak out#whenever his kids don't have enough autofeed grist can see that he cares DEEPLY. which resolves into his very distinctive#defensive + protective playstyle. the goal is not to win the fight the goal is to *survive* the fight etc#but the only way that mindset doesn't spill out into unchecked paranoia + complete agoraphobia is with acceptance#'shit happens: the philza minecraft story'#i also think it even manifests in the nightmare sequence w his last words to chayanne? 'they didn't want us to live. we were never supposed#to survive' or whatever the exact wording was#he is FURIOUS and deeply hurt and sad abt the deaths he says so explicitly later#but at the time the first thing he reaches for is. exhausted acceptance. it wasn't their fault. it wasn't his fault. they did their best.#they could only do so much in the face of the federation's Overwhelming Hostility. y'know?#mine
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pompadourks · 11 months
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The fandom needs to stop infantilizing Kieran or I’m gonna start taking names
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swordsonnet · 1 year
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when talking about topics like maturity and (self-)infantilisation, it's important to remember that there will always be disabled adults for whom the "normal" benchmarks of adulthood are not attainable or even applicable at all. if you want to be an ally to disabled people, you need to support all of us, not just the ones you find palatable - and that includes people who have "childish" interests, who get very emotional about seemingly trivial things, who aren't able to be independent in the way that adults are expected to be. that doesn't mean that we "need to grow up", or that we're reverting to a childlike state to avoid our responsibilities, or whatever op-ed writers think is wrong with gen z these days. it's just the way we are, and liking plushies or struggling with certain tasks doesn't in fact make us children! disabled adults are still adults, and still deserving of dignity, regardless of whether or not we can live up to the rigid societal norms of what it means to be an adult.
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struggling-jpg · 7 hours
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Come on, it always irks me when people call Dr. Ratio a Star Rail Al-Haitham or say that they're exactly alike when let's be real, they're quite notably different in specific but major ways. Yes, they're both really smart scholars and yes, they have personalities that make it difficult for others to like or get along with them but
Dr. Ratio considers himself a doctor on a mission to actively help other people become more educated and self-reliant. It's pretty much the reason he couldn't get into The Genius Society—he cares too much for others and doesn't follow the underlying apathy/cruelty to pursue all knowledge by any means with a disregard for others (We have been shown that there are kind/well-meaning people in the group, but there seems to be a very specific aspect that Nous has that Ratio hasn't been able to meet). He cares intensely and has a pretty big ambition.
Al-Haitham, on the other hand, focuses on himself first and foremost. That doesn't mean he doesn't care for others, but he believes that people should look out for themselves because a single person can't save everyone. He usually gets involved only if it affects him, and he adamantly prioritizes living a happy and peaceful life (which is so wholesome when you read his Story stuff). He doesn't get hands-on with helping every single person, he refuses to do so. I want to add that his having lower empathy isn't a bad thing, having lower empathy in general isn't an inherently negative thing. He cares in his own way and doesn't look down on others in the first place, much to contrary belief in-universe and out. He's a pretty laid-back person considering everything, he isn't as ambitious.
If anything, one of their big similarities is that they get generalized as "arrogant smart guys" by others.
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feelboss · 4 months
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me when I've never played a game with a character creator before
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autistic-beshelar · 3 months
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ah yes dungeon meshi, the manga where an autistic man gets repeatedly bullied by people he thinks are his friends and not a single person supports him
#dont get me wrong i am enjoying this manga#but i'm failing to see how this is some great amazing autistic rep#like yeah laios is obviously autistic#and the struggles he has due to his autism are VERY relatable#but it's deeply uncomfortable that even the people closest to him are routinely awful to him#specifically for his autistic traits#and their bullying is almost always a joke#not a single person defends him#literally senshi is the only character that's never been cruel to him#well and farlyn but lbr she's also autistic and also has been in like half a chapter that ive read so far#maybe ive just not read far enough or not seen enough posts#but im not understanding why the fandom are treating it like amazing autistic rep and how it understands us so well#you could argue that the narrative tends to support laios's methods and way of thinking#but nothing else does#the scene with shuro was fucking awful to read tbh#'you're so annoying because you're autistic. how dare you think im your friend when you should have just guessed that i hated you'#and not a single person defends laios#or calls shuro out on what a fucking horrific way of treating a party member that is#like i dont know MAYBE you could have just said 'hey i don't really want to be friends'#maybe you could COMMUNICATE.#but no it's the autistic man who's the problem. for the crime of.... being too nice.#i don't have a problem with the scene.#i have a problem with the fact that shuro is framed as reasonable here. instead of utterly fucking vile.#i have a problem with none of the other characters sticking up for laios.#dungeon meshi#maybe ppl will start treating him better#i would like to continue reading#but if he continues getting bullied in EVERY fucking chapter as a 'joke' then idk man
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moeblob · 2 months
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Windy at my house + power flickering = no comm work = quick laptop doodle
#my characters#i genuinely hoped the wind would die down but like ??? nah?#and the last time we lost power without an actual storm it WAS bc of wind#and so i just get so panicked over please dont fry my tablet with a power surge#if it calms down by tonight i really wanna work on art since i spent almost all day yesterday struggling with a pose and i finally#think i thought of something that could work and then (gestures to the wind) fuck me#also in regards to these two you have seen me drawing deacon a lot recently and i only drew armya once so far#she is a devoted follower to fulj which is really rare since fulj no longer has a large following nor a temple#so when fulj finds her its comforting and reassuring and she adores armya a lot#however the fact that fulj relentlessly teases deacon and calls him names is like..... ok wait would you really be mean to me if it wasnt#for her ? like would you still pick on me? :c and shes like lol yeah dude absolutely#deacon is just constantly dunked on by the lightning group and hes so sad because he wanted to be friends :c#but also the guy wouldnt really recognize the followers if it wasnt for the traces of lady fulj#so if they would wander into the city without having been possessed recently he probably wouldnt even cast a glance their way#nothing personal he just straight up doesnt decipher looks fast at all#he could think they look familiar but then not know why ESPECIALLY if they wear something he's not used to them in#like if armya showed up in something other than her loose white jacket he would not be able to go AH YES ARMYA immediately#he identifies people by hair or clothing details so it kinda messes him up if people remove whatever identifying trait they have#long hair getting a hair cut? suddenly a whole new person#and armya knows this very well since he never looked her way unless fulj was possessing her or trailing her#so she does like to tease him as just. we are both in servitude to a deity and same rank but like. bro youre too easy to mock#(fulj agrees)
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