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#zep fanfiction
captaincryolicious · 2 years
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3.46 am
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It was unfair.
The embrace of slumber often brushed past you coldly, not giving you the slightest pinch of acknowledgement. The exhaustion was genuine, but sleep was but a fleeting matter that abandoned you more often than not.
Too often you found yourself tossing and turning hopelessly, and tonight was not an exception. Frustration was rapidly building up in your entire being as you heaved out a sigh, the umpteenth of many. It was as if comfort lingered just out of reach of your grasping fingers. You couldn't grasp onto it, and thus you couldn't push yourself over the last treshold towards slumber.
You wanted to sleep so badly, exhaustion crashing upon you like a tsunami. If you were so tired, why couldn't you simply fall asleep? You often wondered that. It souded easy enough, right? Yet, it didn't seem to work that way. Not for you, at least. No matter how tired you were, falling asleep proved itself to be a challenge time after time.
With an exasperated sigh, you moved around to switch to your other side once again, tugging the blankets with you in an attempt to grow a little more comfortable.
"Hey, stop that," an annoyed voice growled, and the blankets were pulled away harshly. "Quit moving around so much, you're keeping me awake."
"Sorry," you mumbled, pursing your lips.
Your sleepless nights were not only a problem for you, Scaramouche was often kept awake as well, your endless tossing and turning stirring the bed and preventing him from falling asleep just as much. Though it made you feel terrible, you couldn't blame him for getting so frustrated with you.
Silence followed. You barely dared to move, but maybe that was a good thing. At least your endless moving wasn't going to keep you up when you stayed still. Did it really work like that? It was slowly driving you crazy, your position getting uncomfortable and the urge to move was like an itch you couldn't scratch.
Tonight was a disaster, but when wasn't it?
"Let me guess, it's one of those nights again?" the harbinger said after a while, catching onto the way you were practically holding your breath.
"Yeah," you admitted, fighting the urge to turn around to face him. You were lovers, but you weren't expecting to find any comfort in him. It wasn't hard to guess that his expression was one of sheer irritation, maybe even anger. You didn't need him glaring at you like that, your night was already terrible enough.
"Such a pain," Scaramouche sighed, and you felt ashamed.
Yet, it merged into surprise when you felt the mattress shift under his weight. His arm wrapped around you from behind and he gently urged you to cuddle against him.
You were almost frozen at this point, never expecting such a sweet gesture to come from the cold Fatui harbinger. It was so unreal, were you maybe hallucinating from sheer exhaustion?
"Try to calm down, Y/N," he grumbled, voice hoarse with sleep. "Don't hyperfocus on falling asleep, that will never get you anywhere."
You tried to comply, to relax in his arms and just focus on that and let go of the desire to fall asleep. Relaxing was surprisingly easy in his arms, you found out very soon. Staring into the darkness of your bedroom, you relished in the warmth and comfort. Was this Scaramouche's soft side showing?
Suddenly, not being able to sleep tonight wasn't all that terrible anymore. You slowly shifted in his arms, closing your eyes and exhaling deeply. Maybe you wouldn't be able to catch a lot of sleep tonight, but it was so rare for the harbinger to show affection. It eased the frustration that came with your insomnia a little.
Tomorrow, you'd worry about your sleepless nights again. Tonight you were going to enjoy your cold lover's embrace.
You barely noticed how your eyelids grew heavier, how your breathing steadied, and how slumber fell upon you gradually in the arms of your harbinger.
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laluxea · 8 months
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Led Zeppelin Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jimmy Page/Robert Plant Characters: Jimmy Page, Robert Plant, Lord James Page (OC), Mr. R. Plant (OC), Mr. M (OC), Professor Olivia Wolfe (OC), Professor Lucas Gregory (OC), Maya (OC) Additional Tags: page and plant genuinely like each other, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Jimbert AU, Lord James Page and Mr. R. Plant, Cottagecore, rural life, Purple Prose, Rock Stars in love, Married rock stars, 1977, 1970s Series: Part 29 of Farm Frolics Summary:
Summary: The beloved (or dreaded, depending on who you ask) Victorian exploits of Lord James Page return, followed by an airing of grievances of sorts. And - for once - will our favourite dark-haired antihero have the last laugh?
All will be revealed!
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reallivewire · 2 years
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At first you hear your brother has gone missing. Then it's one of your coworkers, and then one of your superiors you never really talked to. Then your brother is dead and so is your coworker and your superior is only alive by the skin of his teeth and the loss of his foot. And then you find out only after so much time spent searching and digging through corporate bullshit that your brother was forced to kill your coworker because your superior was told to kill your brother and then - and fucking then! - the asshole responsible for all this, who got up and walked away and only died a year later because of his own fucking mistake - was a fucking patient at the hospital you work in. And hell, your coworker considered him a friend, too. And he got manipulated and murdered for it... but only after threatening and torturing and nearly killing a mother and her child when he really didn't have to at all... and they were your superior's family, to boot.
(And after all of this, why...? Why did the police leave your brother's body down there? Why haven't they gone down there to get him; why why why why why WHY have they left your dead brother down there to rot?)
(Maybe you'll find out even later yet, if you just keep searching, keep digging, keep scraping your hands till they bleed... and maybe then you'll know, and maybe then you'll find the bastard who's been keeping things from you, this piece of shit fucking ASSHOLE that couldn't keep one simple promise... and you'll be so, so very angry when you do.)
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zeplerfer · 1 year
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Summary: After yet another horrible date, 37-year-old lawyer Arthur Kirkland abandons all hope of finding a real relationship and decides to satisfy his needs by becoming a sugar daddy to a handsome 23-year-old Uber driver. UKUS.
Rating: Explicit (spanking, light BDSM, daddy kink)
Words: 23k (complete)
It’s time for the holidays, which means it’s time for a nice fluffy smutty fic about people starting fake relationships and then developing real feelings!
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thepinkwriterr · 2 years
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Capricorn Season Chapter Eleven 
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Hey, y’all, I know it’s been a couple weeks! I ask that you forgive me, I have been really busy. I had finals and then graduation and now I have a new job working as a groundskeeper so I am SUPER tired all the time. I have many more of these chapters ready, they just need spiffing up and outfit posts! 
But, anyway, getting into the story: we join the two lovers once more. They are not as happy as the last time we saw them... There is angst! This chapter is from Gwen’s POV. I hope you enjoy! 
It was 7 am and we were already fighting. I don't even know how it got started, honestly. I just wanted to talk to him about tour and now it's dissolved into this terrible animosity. I suppose it's my fault. When he didn't give me the answer I wanted to hear I just shut down. I don't even know why I asked that stupid question.
"Hey, Jimmy?" I asked as the sun peaked through the clouds.
"Yes, love?" His voice was soft and thick, laden with sleep. He'd just gotten up, but I'd been awake for almost an hour. Just thinking. All I could do was think. The thoughts buzzed around in my head like a mad fly trying to escape a sealed jar. I knew today was the mark of something important. This was the beginning of the end for us. It would be our last day together. He was going to dump me after today. I knew it. I could feel it in my bones. "What's going to happen when you go on tour?" He sighed and rubbed his eyes. He hesitated for a moment, and I didn't know if that was from fear or grogginess. "Christ, love, why do you women pick the worst times to have these talks?" His laugh did not hide his true feelings. His words were harsh and hurt me. Why was I so goddamn sensitive? For the last two days, every scrape felt like a gash. My heart was exposed and bleeding, waiting in bated breath for Jimmy to make a move. I felt like a cornered animal. I just wanted to do something. I wanted him to clarify what we were, if we were a couple or if it was more serious. I was trapped in a hellish purgatory, waiting for him to reassure me. I knew I couldn't wait anymore. I was far too impatient to wait for him any longer. He was leaving today. He won't be gone for long, this time. They'll actually have a number of shows in the UK. They won't be going to Finland until February. Perhaps it's dramatic, but I am very sad that I will no longer have him all to myself. They'll be touring, having rehearsals more often, and going to parties. I know this stretch of solitude couldn't last forever, but I want to hold onto it a little bit longer. I guess last night was a great way to end things. But I couldn't help but feel terrible about the whole situation. I was afraid of the future. We weren't on stable footing and I didn't want to make any sudden movements. We'd been spending so much time together and I only grew to like him more. I didn't want to fuck this up, but I knew this was the beginning of the end. Jesus, I'm so nervous that I can't even think! My head is like a cloudy airline runway, filled with thoughts coming and going without a clear path. "Well, this is kind of the last time I have to talk to you about something serious," I said. "That's not true. I will be home almost every day still. I will just be gone sometimes. I will see you often. And we can talk and laugh and dance, just like always. You're not losing me and I'm not losing you." His arms were around me now. I could feel his breath on my neck as he spoke. "I guess you're right. I just feel..." "Insecure?" My face burned. "Well, you don't have to be so honest. Of course, I'm insecure. You're Jimmy Page. I'm afraid I'm going to lose this wonderful thing we've built. Or that you're not going to want to continue it when you get back." "That is simply not going to happen. You're the one I have eyes for, my love. And I want to spend all my time with you. If I could shirk my responsibilities, I would gladly rot in this bed with you," He turned to me, admiring my features, "I think we would look quite nice all moldy together." I ended his attempt at trying to turn things lighthearted. "I have something else I need to ask. You're going to be gone for a while, on the road, without me. And there will be women throwing themselves at you endlessly." I rambled, looking down at my hands. It is so incredibly awkward being honest with him, especially when I feel that he doesn't care. I don't feel he wants to have these conversations with me. He looks pained when I bring them up. Was I annoying him? Was I upsetting him? "Are you asking if I'll be sleeping with other women?" He was frank. Too frank. He spoke of it like it was normal. He was thinking about this already. "Yes. And I know you will. And I'm okay with that. I've accepted that. I mean, Christ, I'm sure you've slept with other people just in the time that we've been together but-" "Woah, hold on there, love. I haven't. I told you I've only got eyes for you."
"It's okay if you're sleeping with other people. We're not married. But I need you to be honest. I want to hear you say it." "Yes, I will be sleeping with other people." I let out a shaky breath. Okay, that was good. That was a good step. Honesty. From us both. "I just need to know that you'll be mine when you return." I tried to lay a thick coat of sugar over my words. I didn't know if it was for his comfort or my own. "Oh, darling, of course, I'll be yours. I belong to you, and you to me. I meant what I said. I wouldn't have said it otherwise." His eyes were serious. I looked into the expanse of light, muddy green. I could get lost in them, and I often do. Just staring into the caverns of his irises. I could set up camp there. No food, water, or sleep. Just his wistful gaze and the wrinkling of his cheeks as he smiles back at me. But it wasn't enough when I felt so terrible. He couldn't reassure me, not when he admitted he would be sleeping with other women when I was already so upset. Why couldn't he see it was about more than sex? I wanted him to be my home, I wanted to curl around him and block out anyone but us. I wanted life to continue on how it was now, I wanted to live as if we were meant to be and the world was ours. His leaving threatened any sense of normalcy I had managed to create in this strange dynamic. I felt like he had kicked me in the chest. We had breakfast soon after that disaster of a talk. It was a simple spread of eggs, bagels, fruit, and tea. I wasn't very hungry. He made my plate, which would have been a cute gesture if I didn't want to hit him, or jump into his arms and cry, I couldn't tell which would make me feel better. I looked around at the house, the one we'd built this relationship in, and saw now that was disheveled and small. The wallpaper was suddenly tackey and the floors needed sweeping. There it was, that old familiar feeling. Anxiety had inched its way up my body and sat on my chest, leaning over my face and laughing as I emoted in terror. I was scared and it was the anxiety's fault. I clenched my hands and tried to breathe, but I couldn't with this creature weighing me down. I was quiet, choosing to put my focus on breathing properly and appearing normal. I had a conflict of interest now, wanting him to dote on me and ask what was wrong, but also wanting to either appear fine or disappear entirely. "Are you sure we're okay?" He asked, trying his best to swallow a mouthful of egg. "Yeah," I said, lying through my teeth. Nothing was okay. He was leaving, leaving me, abandoning me for tour. He was going to be sleeping with other women and I'd be but an afterthought. I'd be a fond memory of a soon forgotten time. He'd move on to better things and I wondered if I would too. I was suddenly angry, filled with rage at the thought of him living a better life without me. I was angry because he got to be happy and I didn't, he was living it up while I was heartbroken. "Gwen?" He broke me from these thoughts. I had spiraled momentarily, picturing an unknown future that detailed our heartbreak. "Yeah?" "Are you okay?" "Yeah." "I just want to make sure. I don't think you were very happy with my answer to your question." Yeah, no shit! "No, it's fine." I pushed my food around, watching it slither across my plate as I bit my lip. "Okay. I feel better now." Yeah, I bet you do... We spent the rest of our day lazing around. He wanted to spend the remaining time doing what we always do, which is nothing. I was bored and disgruntled. My clothes felt uncomfortable, the blanket was scratchy, and his usually comforting arms were cumbersome and constricting. I wiggled my way from his grasp and sat freely on the other end of the couch. He gave me a puzzled look and reached for my hand, which I begrudgingly took. I didn't want him to pretend. I wanted him to get it over with already and break up with me. We played this ridiculous game of cat and mouse until he got fed up with it. I could tell he was getting annoyed with my behavior but was trying to be polite. "Okay, love, I want to get ready. Will you come upstairs and help me dress for the day?" I looked at his angelic face and wanted to be angry. I wanted to scream at him and ask him why he was doing this to me, why he was leaving me. But that all went away when I looked at his face. He was so beautiful, so innocent. He was like a fawn, just looking into your eyes and begging for something. I hadn't figured out what he was begging for, but that look was there. "Sure." I followed him up the stairs and huffed the whole way. Of course, he wanted me to help him pack his stuff and get ready. He was going to ask for my advice, rope me into folding his clothes and picking out what accessories would pair well, and then he would kick me out. He would laugh as I cried and watch from the window as I sulked to my car. I could see in his eyes that he was waiting for this. Well, I wasn't going to be a fool. I knew this little game. I knew what he wanted to do and I was going to get ahead of him. I was going to leave him before he could leave me. "What do you think about this?" He asked. My heartbeat was thumping in my chest. My breathing was speeding up. My nails tapped against my leg. I chewed on my lip. This was it, this was the commencement of the crescendo. "Yeah, it looks good," I said absentmindedly. I couldn't think seriously about it. I didn't even see what he was wearing. "Are you sure? I think this top looks a bit silly with these trousers. Maybe I just need to put a scarf over the whole thing. What do you think about this one?" I wanted to laugh, I felt the urge in the pit of my stomach. Him and those stupid scarves, I thought. But I didn't laugh because nothing about how I felt was funny. I just shrugged and kept picking at the edge of my sock. "Okay, what is your problem? You've been off all day and I keep asking if you're alright and you keep saying yes, but obviously that's not true." "It is true! I'm fine." I insisted. Who was he to tell me when I was fine or not? He didn't even know me. "It doesn't seem like it. So, if you need to tell me something, just tell me." I hesitated. Was I really about to tell him this was over? Would that qualify as fucking this up? Maybe I was fucking this up already. Maybe my insistence on being fine was in the vein of fucking things up. Maybe. I shrugged. "You don't know?" "No." "No, you don't know, or no you do know?" "No, I don't know. I don't know!" "Well, then tell me what is the matter." He was looking at me, confusion on his face. A print scarf was still tied around his neck. He was wearing dark bell bottoms and a familiar shirt. "Is that my shirt?" I asked, my voice rising in volume. "Yeah. Is that a big deal?" "Yeah, it is! You're just going to leave on tour and take my shirt?" "I'm not leaving on tour. I'll be back later tonight!" "Yeah, yeah, it starts with that, but then you're going to be gone! You're going to be gone and you'll have my shirt. You'll have my shirt and I'll have nothing. So go ahead and have fun on tour. Have fun abandoning me and have fun tonight wearing my shirt!" I stood from his bed and stomped over to the door, slamming it behind me. My heart was racing, beating more rapidly than I'd ever felt. My mind was running just as fast, filled with regret, sadness, and anger. I hadn't felt so many complex emotions before. "Gwen, wait! Gwen!" He called after me as I ran down the stairs. I sailed toward the front door and made it to my car as quickly as my legs would carry me. He stood in the doorway and called out my name. I looked at him, still wearing my shirt and the scarf. He looked just as adorable as ever, just as sweet as the day I'd met him. But that was over now. It had to be. "Gwen, please, just wait!" He cried out, walking toward me as I pulled out and drove off.
When I returned I could hear Lucy's chattering meows. "Hello, I know it's been a minute since I've been home." I sat my things on the counter and let her run into my arms. She was very self-sufficient, spending much time alone these past few months. But that was over now. "Oh, Lucy, I'm sorry I neglected you. I promise I won't ever leave your side again. It'll just be me and you forever." She rubbed her face into my hands and on my legs, purring as her eyes closed in contentment. The space around me was disheveled. That's another reason I hadn't let Jimmy see it yet. Records, photos, art, and books sat on every available surface. And although this wasn't too unlike the boathouse, I didn't want him to see it like this. I am usually very good at decorating and making sure things are in order. But my life had been anything but orderly lately. And it's not like I had my own cleaning lady.
Maybe it wasn't the mess that kept me from letting him in. The mess was a mask, an excuse. If I told myself it was too messy for him to see, I would never have to let him into my world. My apartment would remain a perfect shelter from the reality of our relationship. If you could even call it that.
I don't think I realized how much it was fucking me up that we were so ambiguous. What were we? Friends with benefits? Lovers? Soulmates? Dating? It didn't make any sense to me. I wanted it to. So badly did I want Jimmy to make sense to me. It felt right, but it didn't make sense. His hands cupped my jaw like they were chiseled from one block of alabaster marble as if we were meant to touch. His body wrapped around mine perfectly, like wind in trees. We seemed to be so perfect, but we weren't anything. I wasn't anything to him, it seemed.
The rest of my day was spent cleaning. My Virgo tendencies were on full display, I felt motivated and full of energy. I needed something to distract me. As I sorted through stacks of clutter, I came across a box of sentimental items. Tucked inside were old photos from school and family events. Along with some flowers from my first ever date and my diplomas. One for photography and another for psychology. I gave a laugh before throwing it back into the box. Oh, how useful they have been. Although I didn't get the job I wanted in psychology, college was still an integral part of my life. I'm glad that I went. Looking back on it now, it was a good time. Without the guidance and housing, I don't know where I would be. I would not be in this situation, that's for sure. Without the experience of juvenile and naïve love, I may not be so charming and deft as I am now. And it was in a tiny dorm room at Berkeley that I suffered my first heartbreak. It felt and looked much different than now, but was looming and saddening all the same. It shaped me and molded me into the person I am today. Without the enlightenment from Dominic, I also wouldn't be in the grand civil parish of Winnersh. Consequently only a 24-minute drive from Pangbourne. I hadn't divulged any information about my past lovers. I didn't feel it was appropriate yet. We weren't that invested. Or perhaps we were, but I was denying it. It all feels so weird. Being so intertwined and fated, but having so little time to get used to each other. I didn't feel that I could pour into him yet. I needed time to warm up to his reactions and feelings. He seemed so at ease with me. So peaceful. I hadn't seen him that way with his friends or even at rehearsal. The only time he looked the same was in the music room, strumming away on his guitars. His often pensive look always warmed my heart. This could be because he is such a contrast to my aforementioned ex-lover. Dominic had an impatient eye. His gaze never stayed long on any subject, especially me. He was a selfish person. And I never adjusted to that. Every time his eyes fell on me I could feel the way he saw me. Small. Like he was measuring all the ways I wasn't enough. And I didn't feel that with Jimmy. He was driven. He was the most ambitious and focused person I had ever met. When he looked at me, he only saw me. He didn't see an equation that totaled my worth for the day. But how could I trust him when I'd been so hurt in the past? What am I doing? Comparing these two was like comparing apples to oranges. Dominic was a boy. At 19, we didn't know who we were. And after all the years past, who was I to say who he is now? We were so unfinished back then. Although I doubt he could do the amount of growth I have done. It seemed to be expected of me, and praise-worthy for him. And Jimmy is an adult, a full-grown person who has a home and a career. Something I never had with Dominic. We could play house in our dorms all we wanted, but it was never real. And this finally felt real. The relationship I had with Jimmy was starting to become tangible and three-dimensional and that scares me. A pang of guilt coursed through me. I remembered that thought I had right before I went off about my shirt, the idea that I could be fucking things up. And now I knew I had fucked things up. Then I remembered Jimmy's face as he stood in the doorway. He looked confused and hurt. And now I felt like shit. Memories were flickering in my eyes. I was a haunted house, occupied by the spirits of my past failures. This was not a foreign feeling, I was used to being visited by those who've hurt me. But it was how these recollections were coming that were especially painful. It was gripping and crushing, the way the memories came. I was immediately struck, now on my knees with the ailment of nostalgia. Nothing was okay without Dominic, not for a long time. When things were bad between us, I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest and eaten before me. I felt that this horrible thing was happening to us, but in reality, it was happening to me. He was the horrendous rumble in the pit of my stomach, the sleepless nights of worry. He was the bad thoughts and the reason the hall light needed to be on. He awakened something in me that I tried to shove down. The little child in me that I wanted to stay dormant. He brought her out, gave her a dance, and then left her to find a new partner. He abandoned me. Not in the literal sense, I was the one who wanted to end things. But he gave up. He threw in the towel when things got hard, even when I was still giving my all. And I was so blind that I didn't see it until it was too late. The damage was already done. And my heart was left broken without a reason why. And then I was left to clean everything up. I had to sweep up the broken pieces he left behind. I felt the same way now. But it was different, it was deeper than the flesh wound Dominic had inflicted. I was terrified of history repeating itself. This was the fear forever in the back of my mind. I was worried this fate would befall Jimmy and me. If I'd fucked it up once, I could do it again. And I didn't want that for us. I thought that if I played it safe, I could keep that from happening. But I see every day that my fear is not productive, not keeping from the pain. It was driving us apart each day, my walls jamming a wedge in our relationship. But, that is the thing about walls. Once they are up, they are almost impossible to take down. And I certainly didn't feel it was in my power to take them down. How could I trust someone when they were so unstable? How could I let someone in whom I don't really know? I was becoming increasingly afraid of impending abandonment, imagined or not. Jimmy's starting tour marked the end of our domestic bliss. We were no longer two lovers stuck in a bubble of solitude. He had business, he had a job to do. I did as well, and I often left his house to attend to my duties. But I always returned, always thought of him while I developed photos for other people. But he wasn't going to be just half an hour away. Some days he would be two hours, ten hours, or three days away. And that didn't sit right with me. No matter how much he reassured me, I would be wary of his absence. I don't know if or how he could blame me. I spent the rest of my day fighting off a heavy feeling of anxiety in my chest. The thumping beat of my pain had returned. Turbulence in our relationship was bringing up these old feelings. I was worried about what he would be doing. Was he with another woman? Was he thinking of me? It all swirled around my head and crashed into my body in waves of paranoia. I couldn't wait to be in the salvation of his arms once more. To be on solid ground. I wished to be in his embrace so I could forget all the horrible ways I'd been hurt. I wanted him to look into me, all the bad parts, the things that hurt, and soak them up. I wanted him to love me so much it took the pain away. The phone ringing caught my attention. It was a shrill and terrible sound that annoyed me any time it rang. But now I was more nervous than angry as I dashed to answer. I had to work my way through the clutter than was on the floor, but I made it.
"Hello?" I asked, praying Jimmy was on the other end. "Hello, love." It was him. He sounded somber. He sniffled as he spoke. Another wave of guilt. I'd made him cry? "Um, hi, Jimmy. What's up?" I tried to sound nonchalant. I don't think it worked. I was far too desperate to hear his voice. I couldn't hide my infatuation.
"I'm just calling because I want to make sure we're alright. I can't go to my show knowing you are upset." I could hear him fiddling with something in the background. He was nervous. He liked to pace and pick at things when he was nervous. If he's nervous, that means he cares, right? He wouldn't be worried if his feelings were genuine.
"I'm fine."
He sighed. It was deep and pained. "You know as well as I do that's not true. So why don't you tell me what's wrong."
"I-I don't know. I can't tell you."
"Can you try?"
Now I was sighing. This was all so confusing. Why couldn't I get it out? Why couldn't I just tell him I was afraid he was going to leave? It wasn't so hard. I knew how to say the words, so why wouldn't they come out? I felt like screaming at myself. I was floating over my body, looking down at the top of my head as I stood by the phone. Idiot!
"Are you upset that I'm sleeping with other people?"
"Not really."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know."
He sighed again. This one sounded angrier. He was frustrated with me, I could tell. He was mad at me. "Well, I can't help you if you won't tell me how you feel." His clipped cadence showed me everything I was already thinking. I was fucking this up and I couldn't stop.
"I am!" The pressure was getting to me. I couldn't help but let anger slip through. Anything to avoid real feeling.
"No, you're not." His tone was still curt. "What is it, huh? Do you not trust me? Have I not shown you that I'm a safe person to talk to?"
"No, you have. I just can't-" I stopped myself. It was like prying a door open. I couldn't get the words to come out, no matter how hard I tried. A silence consumed me, filling both ends of the line. It was interrupted only by a sound of sniffling and shuffling. I felt tears prick in my eyes. I was hurting him and it felt like I couldn't help it. I was fucking this up. Fuck up, fuck up, fuck up!
"Can't what?"
"Can't tell you."
"Oh, for christ's sake, Gwen, can you just tell me? I have to leave for a show in twenty minutes and I need to settle this before then." His tone had settled, but there were still traces of his anger. I heard another sigh. "Would it help if I told you I felt first?"
"Maybe."
"I feel that you are upset that I'm going to be sleeping with other women. But I want to assure you that I only said that because I don't want to lie. I really like you and I don't want to fuck this up, and lying would fuck this up. So I'm sorry if it hurts you that I was honest, but that's what being with me would entail. Right now, at least."
"I appreciate the honesty."
"Do you want to tell me how you feel now?"
"I guess. Um, here goes nothin'," I was afraid. I hadn't been honest with someone, open and vulnerable, since Dominic. He shattered my heart and left me for a life he felt was better suited for him. What if I opened myself up to Jimmy, threw myself in, and became completely attached, and the same thing happened? I guess I had to take that chance if I wanted anything real with him. I would have to be real with him, "I am afraid that you'll forget about me on tour," There, that wasn't so bad, "and I'm afraid you'll want a different life than the one I could give you. I don't want you to just leave me behind and I feel like that's going to happen."  I tangled the phone cord around my finger as I looked around my apartment. I closed my eyes and sighed, holding back the urge to hang the damn thing up,
"That's simply untrue, darling. I know you are nervous and have been burned before, but you'd be a fool to think that's the truth. The way I feel about you is worth more than some silly band or tour, and I say that as someone who you know is obsessed with the music. I am overjoyed that I get to spend this new chapter of my life with you. I can't wait to return from tour to see your face and feel you in my arms. I want you in my life."
"Wow. That's really sweet."
"It's the truth, love."
"Thank you for the honesty."
"Thank you for telling me how you feel. I'm sorry if I've made you feel that you can't trust me."
"No, no, nothing like that. It's me."
"Well, as long as we're on the same page and we're okay, I don't care. I just want to make sure we're okay. I can't handle you being mad at me. Not when I'm going to a show. I just can't have that. Not good for the music, not good for you, not good for me."
"Right."
"Right," he laughed. "And to top it off, I will leave you with a promise and something to look forward to. In three days we're going to spend New Year's Eve together, and we're going to have a great time."
"Yeah, we will," I smiled.
"That's right, love." I could hear him laughing some more. "Now, I have to go. I will see you soon, okay?"
"Yeah, okay. I'll see you soon."
"Goodbye, my sweet and beautiful Guinevere."
"Goodbye, James."
The line went dead and I was left with a puddle of confusing feelings. I hung up the phone. Okay, he meant what he said. He meant what he said. He had to of meant it. I just have to assume he meant it. That has to be enough. It has to be.
--------
Taglist: 
@anothercanyonlady , @jonesyjonesyjonesy , @paginate54 , @jimmys-zeppelin , @jimmypages , @seventieswhore​
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sepsis-and-sparkles · 2 years
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DAVID AND ZEP CHAPTER V !!!!! :)
My lil guys poor david</3
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Took the lads out into the stone circle in the museum’s garden for more pictures with the 1970 Barbie camper. Look at those mugs. If you aren't familiar with my dolls they are from Mattel's Creatable World line and their given names are Alex (he/him, left) and Tris (he/him, right).
The names Alex and Tris have a storied history as fanfiction code for Robert Plant and Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin.
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Right down to business. The guitar is the first thing I've ever 3D printed. I did it at my local library, for free!
below: This is sort of the shot that I designed the interior remodel of the Barbie camper around - Alex laying on the futon with his hair fanning out like that.
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This one is for the Zep heads (well, all of this is for the Zep heads but this one is special). You guys (gn) know what photo I was thinking of when I posed this).
Although she's no Starship the 1970 Barbie Country Camper is a fine vehicle. I have a lot more photos from this session on my ipad and I even have a stop motion sequence to edit. So stay tuned for more.
After all the props were ready but before I got good weather for taking pictures in the garden, I read an amazing Led Zeppelin fic on AO3 that may have influenced this photoshoot. It's The Road So Far by sodium_amytal, a beautiful Led Zeppelin AU.
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dhalia7camille · 1 year
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Okay, I have a proposal.
What if...people start writing more Hunger Games au's??
Reason n1: The Hunger Games Trilogy is an absolute masterpiece and is so ahead of its time. It is phenomenal and deserves more fanfiction.
N2: The more fanfiction the better. Personally, I have a strong love for au's and I think we need more.
N3: I'm just obsessed with them at this point.
The first au of the hunger games I've ever read was crimson river by the one and only zep and I just found this aftg hunger games au that is blowing my mind.
( if anyone here is an aftg fan, it's called " there is no escape (when fire meets fate) " by serendiflowers.
Anyways, someone, make more of these au's.
PLEASE. IM OBSESSED.
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sophsicle · 2 years
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Oh if u don’t know what happened to Zep, they basically posted a lot on twitter saying that from now on they’re not gonna be engaging with the fandom much. They’re just gonna write the fic and kind of leave it out there, so they’re semi-quitting the internet (twitter, tumblr, etc.) or just not gonna be active on it because they’re having a hard time dealing with the negativity
I'm genuinely really sorry to hear that I think "hate" is something that has become a little too normalized in fandom spaces and the actual impact that it can have on someone's mental health is insane. What I find especially frustrating is people thinking that they're being critical, when in fact they're just being cruel. And it makes having actual meaningful conversations basically impossible. Like the amount of times I've had people tell me to unalive myself because of this fanfiction is really concerning. All of which is to say that I hope Zep is okay and I'm glad they're taking steps to protect themselves and I hope they know that there's a lot of love and appreciation for what they've done out there (my FYP is basically full of it) <3
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rsbry-beret · 3 years
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Let’s See What a Fire Feels Like
find it on ao3 here :
Tobin and Leif go stargazing. Tobin listens to Leif talk about constellations. Tobin tries not to kiss him. Tobin almost succeeds.
- - - - -
It was a warm summer night, air cloying even through Tobin’s shirt, hoodie long abandoned on the blanket spread against damp grass.
“There’s the Summer Triangle, Tobes. Straight up.” Leif craned his head back, hands falling behind him to hold himself up. His left one landed on Tobin’s right, and he flipped his palm over to clasp Leif tighter.
“I see it, yeah.”
Leif glanced over his shoulder to Tobin, lips spreading into a thin smile. “The star on the lower left, that’s Deneb. It’s the tail of Cygnus, the swan constellation.” He turned his head back to the sky and Tobin leaned in, eyes following as Leif lifted his right hand to point.
Leif’s hand glided down slightly. “Cygnus flies south along the Milky Way. It’s right by Aquila… there, there it is. The eagle constellation.”
Tobin grinned to himself, gaze flickering between the stars and Leif’s face, open and expressive in a way it never was under harsh fluorescent lights. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It used to be right next to the Antinous constellation, but they got merged together a long time ago. Kinda sad…” Leif turned his head again, a few inches from Tobin’s face. Tobin grinned and made a vaguely inquisitive noise.
“Antinous… he was this guy who either drowned or was sacrificed.” Leif’s voice was quieter, eyes glancing at Tobin, the sky, Tobin again. “His lover, emperor Hadrian, was so devasted he named a city after him, Antinoöpolis,” Leif said.
Tobin swayed forward a little. “Oh.”
“And he made a statue of him. He minted coins with his face on him across the empire, and said he was a God, and he, uh, named a constellation after him.”
“So he could always be with him?”
“Yeah.” Leif’s voice rasped. He cleared his throat. “Yeah.”
Tobin squeezed Leif’s hand. “That’s pretty gay, Leif.”
Leif let out a big laugh and leaned back, hand leaving Tobin’s to push his hair off his forehead. “Yeah! Yeah, uh, they were pretty gay, Tobin.”
Tobin tried not to miss the warmth. It was warm enough, anyway. Summer. He fell onto his back with a sigh. “Hadrian, huh?”
“Yeah,” Leif said, still sitting up. “He, like, focused less on imperialism and more on unification within Rome? So that’s cool I guess. He started a cult, though.”
“Gay rights.”
“Tobin.”
He laughed and tilted his head up to look at Leif, who was trying to look scandalized but was failing.
“Nah, but really, Hadrian sucked. For a lot of reasons. Like, slavery, dude.”
“Shit, yeah.” Tobin sat up again to face Leif. “Antinous, though. He was cool?”
Leif shook his head, still smiling. “I dunno, Tobin. It was a long time ago. I only read so much of the Wikipedia article.”
They fell into a comfortable silence again. Tobin watched a mosquito flit around the edges of the frayed quilt they were sat on. “Hey, look,” he said, wrapping one arm around Leif’s waist and gesturing upwards with the other. “Orion’s Belt.”
Leif turned up, then to Tobin, eyes soft.
“See, I can be smart for you, too.”
Leif melted against his side. His hand came up to cup Tobin’s cheek. “Everyone knows Orion’s Belt, idiot.”
Tobin’s eyelids fluttered, and he swayed forward half an inch, leg jolting slightly closer. “Admit it, you were impressed.”
Leif pressed his face against Tobins shoulder and slid his hand back from his cheek to against his neck. “Was not.”
“Was too,” Tobin whispered, and tilted down to press his lips against Leif’s hair. Leif lifted his head at the action and stared.
“...Was not,” Leif repeated dumbly, and Tobin smiled, and kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him.
title from Cassiopeia by Sara Bareilles
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ash-overthinking · 3 years
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State of Grace
Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
Main Pairing: Tobin Batra/Leif Donnelly
Chapter: 4/7  - The Armor Falls
Fic Summary:
“I asked Max if I could code for floor six. I’m moving my stuff there tomorrow morning.“
Leif’s voice was quiet, cracking under the surface. Normally, it was the sort of thing that would concern him.
And it still was, but fuck that noise. Leif was ditching him.
-An examination and an evolution.
Read it on AO3
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think of all the fun i´ve missed (think of all the fellas that i haven’t kissed)
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merry (early) christmas @leifdonnellies! i was your secret santa and i had a lot of fun writing this fic for you :D i hope you enjoy it and have a great holiday season! (the title is from santa baby and really doesn’t fit with the fic all that well but i thought it was funny...)
-
Tobin Batra knew every word in the English dictionary, and yet he still didn’t know the right words to describe the chaos that was SPRQ Point holiday parties. 
After going to one for this first time, Tobin immediately knew why STEM kids and queer kids were never the people throwing parties in high school. When you combined those groups into the group that was the fourth floor of SPRQ Point, the result was a drunken mess of a gathering. 
The floor was cleared off as it would be for any business-related gala, but instead of tasteful lighting and tech speeches, there were tacky Christmas lights strung up and shitty music blasting from every speaker. 
And yet, Tobin loved them. He loved his oddball group of friends and colleagues, and it was fun to hang out with them without any pressure of deadlines and CEO visits, and instead just a week-long break to look forward to. At recent parties, Zoey’s DJ friend Mo provided the music, and he did have objectively better music taste than anyone else there. Tobin liked Mo, and liked getting to chat with him at parties, mostly about music and queer stuff. Another plus of parties was seeing who gave the most outrageous white elephant gifts- Tobin was currently winning that competition ever since he gifted Max a live chinchilla a year ago. (Max still had the chinchilla. He named it Joan after their former boss, and it was beloved by everyone.) Yet another great thing about it was that it was the one night that they finally could replace the bread bar or oatmeal bar or whatever bar with an open bar, because apparently it was legal if it was for a party. But Tobin’s favorite thing about the holiday parties was the fact that it was the one night a year that his boyfriend let Tobin kiss him in front of their colleagues. 
Leif was surprisingly shy about PDA, and had been as long as Tobin had known him. His parents weren’t exactly the most touchy-feely people, with each other or with their children, and it had clearly rubbed off on Leif. Tobin was fine with this, of course, he’d never want to make his boyfriend uncomfortable. Plus the two lived together, and Leif was incredibly touch starved at home, so it wasn’t really a big deal that they never did more than very occasionally hold hands at work. That being said, Tobin discovered recently that Leif found it “morally wrong”- Leif’s words, not Tobin’s- to disobey the laws of mistletoe, and he planned to fully exploit that fact at the party.
Mistletoe was a big thing at these parties- because obviously it was, what chaotic Christmas party was complete without a tiny, slightly-poisonous plant that required you to kiss whoever’s nearest to you if you found yourself under it? When they arrived at the party, Tobin snatched a cluster of mistletoe that was hanging right outside the elevators. He figured that was a fair place to steal it from, because as much as he loved the tradition, it was a bit of a cruel place to hang it, catching people off guard like that. Leif glanced over and saw him grab it, but just rolled his eyes as Tobin winked at him and smirked. 
“Hey guys!” Zoey greeted as they joined the group. “You can put your gifts over there…” She pointed to a small pile before glancing at the package in Tobin’s arms with concern. “I do not want to know what’s in there this year.” 
Tobin smiled wide. “Well, I tried hard to top Joan the chinchilla, but I think it was my peak.” 
Leif and Zoey rolled their eyes in unison as Leif gave Tobin a shove towards the stack of gifts. 
Tobin soon joined the rest of the party, dragging Leif with him and forcing him to dance to the loud music with him. As per usual, Mo had created a killer playlist, albeit a bit of a weird conglomeration of songs. Any playlist that went from a stunning, slow cover of Someday At Christmas (that seemed to have been sung by the DJ himself) immediately into the original version of Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer had to be made by someone at least a little bit high. 
About an hour into the party, Tobin could tell that Leif was getting overwhelmed by all the people and the sounds, so he silently took his hand and pulled him into the nest. 
“Thanks,” Leif said once they were out of earshot of others. He rubbed his neck awkwardly as he sat down on the conference table. “Sorry, I don’t know what was happening back there, I’ve been better with social stuff for a while, I guess it just… I dunno… it’s still hard sometimes.”
“Bro, it’s okay, I get it. You never need to apologize about anxiety stuff. And it’s not going to be all better, all the time, and that’s okay. You’ve been doing so good lately, Leif, and you deserve to celebrate that.” Tobin sat next to Leif and put his hand over Leif’s. 
Leif turned to him and smiled softly. “Thank you, babe.” 
Tobin lay his head on Leif’s shoulder and began rubbing gentle circles on Leif’s hand with his thumb. “You’re welcome.” 
Neither man spoke for a few minutes, and Tobin could hear Leif doing some deep breathing, something he often did as a way to calm his anxiety. 
Eventually, when Leif seemed to have fully relaxed, he turned towards Tobin and smiled at him again. “Have I mentioned that you look really nice tonight?” 
Tobin laughed. “A few times. But you can tell me again.”
“Well you do. Really nice.” 
Leif leaned forward and kissed Tobin, and Tobin counted it a win that his boyfriend kissed him at work with no mistletoe involved. 
Tobin pulled away much sooner than he wanted to, because they were still at a party after all. “Hey, you ready to go back?”
Leif squeezed his hand before standing up. “Yeah. I think so.”
  The two of them left the conference room, and only got a few strange looks from the other party-goers as they made their way back to the group. 
“There you are!” Zoey said as she and Simon made their way over. “We were waiting for you to start gifts.” 
The next half-hour was spent in a flurry of white elephant chaos, filled with plenty of cursing and sighing and coming close to tears begging someone to please steal their gift because they don’t even play an instrument, why do they need sheet music for the wii theme?! Although none of the gifts came close to the glory of Tobin’s chinchilla, it was unanimously decided that Leif won this year’s most outrageous gift with the collection of small cowboy hats that Simon ended up with (something Simon was weirdly pleased with receiving.) Tobin had pouted about this decision, seeing as the hats had originally been his idea, but his boyfriend looked so pleased about winning such a stupid contest that Tobin let him take the win without too much complaining. 
It was getting late, and the party would likely be wearing to a close soon. People were still dancing, however- Leif being one of them. He and Zoey and Simon were in the middle of the floor, moving in a way that they must have considered “dancing” (but was really just a weird movement of limbs all over the place). 
The red and green lights were reflecting in Leif’s hair, making the blond curls glow in a way that could only be described as magical. His suit jacket had been abandoned at some point in the evening, so he was wearing only a deep red short sleeve dress shirt with a green vest over it. Despite the cliche color scheme, the outfit looked great on Leif. Tobin watched as Leif threw his head back in laughter at something Simon said, and felt a weird flutter in his heart at the sight. Even after nearly two years of dating Leif, and nearly twelve years of being in love with him, the other man never failed to make Tobin feel like he was fifteen again, looking over at the boy playing video games on the couch next to him, and being hit with a rush of feelings so sudden and so strong that Tobin thought he was dying. 
Tobin moved suddenly from where he’d been standing next to George, asking his friend to hold his drink for a moment. He joined Leif on the dance floor right as Santa Baby faded out (the dance moves done for that song did not bear repeating, to say the least), and faintly processed Mo announcing that their final song of the night was White Christmas because it had just started snowing in San Francisco, so of course it was. 
“Hey.” Tobin announced his presence as he sidled up next to Leif, swaying slightly to the melody. 
“Hi!” Leif turned around so quickly that he needed to steady himself by grabbing on to Tobin’s waist (nothing Tobin was complaining about), his face flushed from dancing. 
“Care to dance?” Tobin put his arms up and around Leif’s shoulders, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Zoey and Simon had begun to slow dance away from them, seemingly lost in each other. 
Leif just smiled in response and began leading Tobin slowly around the floor. Neither one of them were particularly great at dancing, but it didn’t matter. As Tobin heard the song drawing to a close, he fumbled in his jacket pocket for the mistletoe he had grabbed earlier. Upon finding it, he raised his arm above both him and Leif’s heads so that the mistletoe hung above them.
“Hey L.” Tobin said to get his boyfriend’s attention, because he’d somehow not noticed the commotion.
“Yeah?”
“Look up.” Tobin smirked.
Leif did so and immediately rolled his eyes and blushed.
“Well?” Tobin knew he was being obnoxious but didn’t care. “I seem to recall someone here saying that it was wrong to not follow the rules of mistletoe. Are you really gonna go back on your word now-”
Leif shut Tobin up by kissing him. 
Tobin smiled into the kiss, moving his non-mistletoe hand to cradle Leif’s face. People were probably staring at them, but he didn’t care. It’s not like no one knew they were together. 
Leif pulled back after a minute, slapping the mistletoe with indignance until Tobin lowered his arm. Their faces were still close, foreheads resting together.
“Merry Christmas Tobes.” 
Tobin gave Leif another quick kiss and smiled at him. “Merry Christmas Leif.” 
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asecretlovesong · 3 years
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On the eve of her ex's wedding festivities, Joan is minus a plus one. Until a power outage strands her with the perfect candidate for a fake girlfriend...
Agreeing to go to a wedding with her boss after she gets stuck with her in an elevator is something Zoey Clarke wouldn't normally do. But there's something about Joan Bennett that's too hard to resist.
Could this fake date go the distance?
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28975287
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magicsophicorn · 3 years
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Zoey x Joan Angst Fic
What's the opposite of a fix-it fic? Because that's what this is. I don't know what to tell you. I watched the goodbye scene in 2x01 and went "yeah I can make that so much more messed up and painful"... So that’s what I did.
-------
If Zoey had to guess which of the stages of grief she was currently in, she would probably go with somewhere between anger or depression.
Or maybe both at the same time.
She wanted to yell at anyone and everyone, to scream at the world until her throat was raw. She’d done a little bit of that earlier. She had thought it would be a relief, that it would make the anger go away, but it had just made her want to yell even more.
At the same time she also wanted to stay here in her childhood bed, with her pillow over her head, and never say another word, or see anyone, ever again.
“Honey, you have a visitor.”
Read the full fic on AO3 here.
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zeplerfer · 2 years
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I’m not dead. I’m still updating!
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thepinkwriterr · 2 years
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Capricorn Season Chapter 10 
We’re joining the love birds on their first real date, this chapter from Jimmy’s perspective. It’s very sweet, so be prepared for some teething-rotting fluff. Enjoy :)
Word Count: 2.8k
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I was awoken by the feeling of hair on my face. I pulled my head back and opened my eyes, seeing Gwen towering over me.
"It's hour one of our last full day together for three whole weeks. We've got a full day ahead!" Her gapped smile was wide as usual. When I rolled over my eyes caught the time. 6:30 a.m. The blasted sun hadn't even come out from behind the clouds.
"You've woken me today. Took you two months but you finally did it." She slapped my arm in retaliation.
"If you weren't so cute I wouldn't let you have breakfast."
"Oh, you've made breakfast? What time did you get up?"
"Four." Her eyes crinkled as she gave a shy smile.
"Four? Girl, you're going to be tired in two hours. You barely manage with a full six hours."
"That's a risk I'm willing to take for you. Now drink your tea." A small pink cup was foisted into my hands. "Thank you, darling. Let's see if it's up to standard." I took a sip. Not enough sugar and way too much cream. "Wow, that's great! You're gaining a real talent for tea making." Her smile was so cute. Lips curling around straight teeth. Cheeks pinched together in total glee. This is the way she should remain.
"Well let's head down to the table. I am starving! I haven't eaten since like half an hour ago." I tried to stand but she stopped me. "Before we go." Her hands were in my wild hair now. She picked through a few knots and then worked to tie it back. "There," she turned me to admire her work, "you look so cute! I've never seen your hair up. You should wear it this way more often."
"Oh, no, love. That will not be happening. But I will keep it up because you were sweet enough to do it for me." I leaned back to kiss her sweet lips again.
-
"Okay, we need to leave by 8. That means we have half an hour to eat breakfast so we can have time to shower and dress." She looked down at her watch.
"You're still not telling me where we're going or what you have planned?"
"You really want to know?"
I nodded. "You know I hate surprises."
"Well, that's too bad. You'll just have to learn to love them." Her smile was a sweet contrast to her words.
After breakfast, we headed upstairs. While she showered I dug through my closet looking for a suitable outfit. The weather was becoming harsh, so I would need to dress accordingly. I decided on a simple button-up and jeans. The bathroom knob turned and gave way to Gwen. She was draped in a white towel, steam surrounding her.
"Are those my jeans?"
I looked down at the flares. Floral patches adorned the pockets and the knees. "I think so. Is that an issue?"
"Yeah, I was planning to wear those. You stole my outfit!"
"Well then let me borrow yours." I grabbed the end of the fabric covering her and yanked it off. She was left with only the towel wrapped around her hair. "Jimmy!" She screeched, picking her towel up. "You're an animal!" She smacked my arm. I couldn't help but giggle.
I suppose I'd always had a penchant for trouble. As a young boy, I enjoyed poking at my mates and making a fuss. Seldom did I pull pranks, but when I did I enjoyed them quite a lot. It was that same mischievous grin I wore than that I do now. She looked marvelous, anyway, I didn't understand why she was so upset.
We made it out of the house at 7:45. She was a punctual lady, always checking the time and stressing about schedules. Usually, she stressed so much that we ended up 10 minutes early for everything. This quirk was endearing and rather attractive. She valued her time and never wasted mine. "After you, Mr. Page." She chattered as she opened my door. "Wow, you're really giving me the treatment. Breakfast and opening my door. You're very chivalrous." I gave her a short bow before getting into her car.
She started driving down the road, the car making an unsure rattling sound. She danced with the peddles, seemingly confused about where to put her feet. It was a wonder that she had a license. One would think it's her first time driving. I think I could drive better than her. At a red light, the car hurtled to a stop. "You've really got to get used to driving in London." I laughed as she grimaced. "It's not my fault y'all drive on the wrong side of the road. And who put the steering wheel over here? It looks ridiculous."
"Wrong side? Um, I believe we were first." Her eyes rolled and she sped off when the light flashed green. I looked at my watch once more and saw that it was nearing 8. Not only was she a bad driver, but she was also a speed demon! I feared for my life as we made our way to the museum. If the caffeine in my morning tea hadn't woken me, the primal tingling in my spine sure did.
We had finally arrived. I breathed a sigh of relief as she twisted the key, stopping the car. The nightmare was over. Then I was up and chasing after her. "Aren't we on a date? You should wait for me." I called after her. "You're right, where are my manners? After you, Ma'am." She stopped in her tracks and bowed, mocking my earlier actions. "Well, thank you. You better be taking me somewhere nice. I'm no cheap chap, I'll have you know. You'll have to pay good money to get me in the sack."
"Oh yes, I am well aware. But I'm sure you will find my choice satisfactory." She slipped her hand into mine, swinging it as we walked. This caused a laugh to glide from my mouth. And I did find her choice to my satisfaction. She chose a museum that I hadn't had the chance to see yet. The Victoria & Albert Museum of Art and Design.
"Oh, wow, this looks nice!" She said. The front entrance was lovely, decorated finely with a floral design. We continued to hold hands as we explored the exhibits. We looked at paintings and sculptures, dipping in and out of rooms as we surveyed the selection of art.
"Was this a good spot? I didn't know where you'd been so I picked a place low on the list of museums." She was whispering over the tinkling piano someone was playing.
"Yeah, this is great. I haven't been. But it's fantastic. Marvelous, one could say." I added a dramatic flair to my words. I felt like Robert now, putting on a show.
"I'm glad. I think it's nice too. We should go look at the embroidery!" Her voice was hushed but still excited. She dragged me along as she made her way to the door.
"Woah, look at this!" She pointed to an ornate box. It was decorated with animals and women. The stitch work did look nice. "Yes, it's lovely." I nodded along as she read. I didn't particularly care for the design. I turned my attention to a collection of panels crafted by Queen Mary of Scotts. "They're called "prison embroideries" because they were created during her imprisonment by her cousin. Very interesting. When I turned she was still looking at the box.
"Look, it's you!" She pointed to a section of the casket that had a woman playing a woman holding an instrument.
"I have never played the lute. So no, it is not." I cocked my head in a joking manner.
"My apologies. I thought it was the mandolin. How could I be so... what do you say? Daft?"
"Oh, yes, love. One could say you're quite daft." She gave the back of my head a small smack.
"You ask to take me out and then you rough me up in the museum before we even get into the sheets? You're a lousy lover." I clicked my tongue and shook my head at her. She sent a giggle. A wonderful sound.
"My apologies, Mr. Page. I hope I'm not ruining my chances with you already." Her eyes were stuck on mine. Transfixed. I could feel the familiar rushing in my head. My toes began to lose feeling as the world slipped away. I leaned forward and kissed her. This sent a feeling of warmth through my body. I could feel her all over me. Every inch of skin. Every hair follicle. She surrounded me like a blanket, enveloping me in her wonderful esse.
"Well, that was certainly something." She breathed out with a smile wide on her face. "But we're not the only ones here. So maybe we should save it for later." A blush prickled across my nose and cheeks. A family had entered the section while we were busy. Usually, I wouldn't be so bold. I find it awkward to display love and care so openly. That is private intimacy reserved for the home. I've never felt the need to show my lady off in that way. But she drives me absolutely wild. I didn't care who saw us. I didn't care if we were the only ones in the room, the whole museum, or the world, for that matter. She takes everything I've ever felt and flips it on its head. She makes me look at things from an entirely new perspective. She's the first breath of crisp air when Spring breaks. She's warm water when I come inside from a cold day. She's the comfort waiting for me at the end of the day. I gave her one last quick kiss and we carried on looking at the pieces on display.
We spent a few hours in the large museum, looking through rooms of paintings and artifacts. It wasn't the best museum in London, but definitely interesting. Spending the afternoon with such a lovely woman, and looking at such fine art was fine with me. In fact, it was one of the best days I'd had in a while. Apart from our meeting and first date, it would be my favorite day. It's hard to tell because every day with her was special. There were days when we would do nothing, just basking in our feelings and spending a day in quiet harmony. We moved like two pendulums, so perfectly in sync and painfully aware of the other. I enjoyed each moment with her, every second drawing out to a moment of complete bliss.
I couldn't even feel the chill of January air on my skin as we exited the museum. With my hand in hers, nothing could bother me. I fear the grounds could open and hellfire could rain upon us and I'd be none the wiser.
When we were in the car Gwen switched on the car radio. She drummed along with the beat, creating a harsh thud. Its sonorous quality was a match for the juvenile music. "You like this?" My voice was judgmental.
"Um, yeah? Doesn't everyone like The Doors?" I gave a slight laugh. "Perhaps Americans," I spoke it like it were a curse, to be from such a land.
"Well, I'm American, so deal with it." She took her eyes off the road
"I don't think I will."
She turned the radio to a blaring volume. I covered my ears and waited for her anger to thaw. When it did, which didn't take long, she clicked the radio off. We talked quietly about what exhibits we enjoyed. She told me she liked the sculptures the most and I said I liked the French art. It was rare of me to speak highly of something French, but the art was stunning. How could I turn a blind eye to such a wonderful sight?
Night had finally fallen, the sky breaking off from the bursts of orange and pink. The stars were bright and laid upon the sky like a spread of twinkling diamonds. Each one was special and beautiful, just like every blemish and freckle on her face. We lay on opposite sides of the coffee table while a record spun. Tonight it was Gwen's choice of album. Two nights ago, the last time we partook in this ritual, I chose Salty Dog by Procol Harum. Something I picked up recently. I enjoyed it thoroughly. Spinning on my turntable tonight is Days of Future Passed by The Moody Blues. A lovely mix of symphonic sounds, poetry, and modern prog rock. Wouldn't be my usual choice, but it was interesting nonetheless.
Her copper hair pooled above her head, lying in a puddle against the white carpet. I could see just her head lying past the table. Her eyes were illuminated beautifully in the sparse candlelight. Although I couldn't see her well, or hear her if she chose to speak, I was having fun with her. We didn't need to be engaged in an other-worldly discussion or be indulged in flesh-toned affairs to have a great night. Simply being in her presence seemed to be enough, listening to good music was just a plus.
Every night is a ritual with her. She is always lighting candles with intentions carved in. Always casting a spell. Usually one of love that enraptures my heart and steals my breath. Cannabis smoke is still thick in the air. Although we shared the herb almost half an hour ago the smell still sat around us.
"This album is genius. It reminds me of The Four Seasons by Vivaldi. The way they work their way through the day, I mean. It's similar to the feelings I get during the different seasons. It's fascinating." The way in which her brain works is incredible. I could listen to her for hours and hours and never grow tired. She's a marvel to behold. An entire package that I want to ravage.
"Oh my god, this song is great! I have to see what it's called." She was up, bouncing around before I got a chance to respond. She's so full of life. Another quality I admire so. She is candlelight; so bright and warm. I could live in her light for a thousand years. "It's called Evening. This album is almost finished," a deep frown occupied her face for only a moment, "but then I could play another one! Right, love?" Her first use of my favorite pet name caused a quake in my brain. Euphoria rained down through my body.
"Of course. Anything you'd like."
"Thank you." She pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. I could feel a fire trailing from the base of my spine up to my forehead. A deep heat overwhelmed my senses. Sparks erupted behind my eyes and washed down the back of my head. In an instant, she pulled me to my feet. Her body was pressed to mine. I could feel the heat radiating from every inch of her.
She began to sway in a small dance. I followed her lead, letting her guide me. As the mellow tone of Nights In White Satin flowed from the record player she conducted a simple ceremony. Our feet moved in small circles. I felt her magic through her effortless steps. I put my trust in her as we collaborated on a mindless dance. I felt free and light, just as I always did with her. It was now that I could feel her heart beating against my chest, matching the rhythm of mine.
It was this proximity, this intimacy that lead me to my next conclusion. I had fallen in love with this woman. Head over heels, completely in love. And I had never known a greater feeling. To be in her mere presence uplifted my spirits. She was my muse. Not just in art but in life. She was the reason for the rise and fall of my chest as I breathed. And I found peace in her. I discovered refuge in her love. For the first time, I wasn't scared to love her. I wasn't scared to be open. The box was open and she was beginning to poke her head inside. And I wanted her there. She looked into my soul and I into hers. She looked behind the curtain, then threw them asunder.
The record died out and we continued to undulate without sound. This lasted for minutes on end before she picked her head up off my shoulder. "This was the perfect way to spend our last night." Without another word, she leaned forward and kissed me with her silken lips.
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