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the-b1ah · 12 hours
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Thoughts on Jazz/Jason, Danny/Cass and Dami/Ellie as ships?
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Do they have a ship name? I think they’re really cute together even just as friends. I mean they’re both brought up by some morally dubious people and then had to unlearn a lot to fit in with their new family.
I feel like they would be menaces together and steal soooo many animals.
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Damian: I could make her better AND I can make her worse! (He convinces Ellie to be vegan and shows her how to kill a man 10 different ways with a pencil)
Ellie: I COULD make him better but whatever’s wrong with him is SO much more entertaining.
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Im chill with most ships.
If you want your ships drawn/animate you could always commission me!
(Or send a request in the asks, no promises on this one though but sometimes I’m in the mood to draw random stuff)
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the-b1ah · 14 hours
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Heyooo, I love the u can't bench me series but I couldn't find a master list.
Is there one / will there be one?
Thanks ❤️❤️❤️
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Masterlist!
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the-b1ah · 14 hours
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Masterlist ✨✨✨
Start here! :
The Origin
The rest ! :
(X means unfinished)
(All of these are connected but can be read as stand alone)
Meeting the phantomily:
Crack meeting the batfam :
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5 the final!
Hide @ dick’s apartment :
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5 the final!!
You can’t bench me! : X
Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5| Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 the final!!
ice cream| intermission
Asks:
Fav DPxDC trope?
ships in the AU?
You might also like!:
Good goons!
Explosions!
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the-b1ah · 1 day
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Bribery will get you everywhere!
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Ice cream!!🍦
Working on the floor is the best. Also I want Danny’s alien pants.
Context:
Post patrol ice cream and homework (or free reading time for jay) is just going to become a thing now. Danny is smart (not bat smart tho) but has a low self esteem so when things get difficult he just assumes he’s too dumb for it. Jason and jazz are working on it. For now Jason usually just needs to give Danny a bit of a push in the right direction now and again.
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Danny: Dad I got an A- !!!!!
Jason: right on the fridge with that! Let’s go get chilli dogs to celebrate!
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Origin | part 6 | intermission | part 7
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the-b1ah · 2 days
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Ice cream!!🍦
Working on the floor is the best. Also I want Danny’s alien pants.
Context:
Post patrol ice cream and homework (or free reading time for jay) is just going to become a thing now. Danny is smart (not bat smart tho) but has a low self esteem so when things get difficult he just assumes he’s too dumb for it. Jason and jazz are working on it. For now Jason usually just needs to give Danny a bit of a push in the right direction now and again.
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Danny: Dad I got an A- !!!!!
Jason: right on the fridge with that! Let’s go get chilli dogs to celebrate!
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Masterlist! |Origin | part 6 | intermission | part 7
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the-b1ah · 2 days
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Part intermission of You can’t bench me!
Just a little in-between the next one has cooler animation
Fun fact this was painful to upload to tumblr bc it kept saying the file was too large even tho it wasn’t. So this was brought to you thru spite and dark magic.
Context:
The girlies are back on the rooftop and the bet is still on!
Who know Red Hood better! :
Phantom on one side is currently lives with Red Hood and clearly is very trusted by him. He gets to sees a side to RH that many people aren’t privy to.
But also is a child that Red Hood is probably shielding from the worst stuff. Phantom also has a bit of hero worship for RH as he did save Phantom from GIW and adopt him. So he is quite biased.
On the other side RR and Spoiler are train bat detectives and are used to bat vigilante tomfoolery. They have also known/worked with Red Hood for longer.
But Red Hood famously doesn’t tell the batfam shit, and has surprised them in the past. 
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Masterlist! | Origin | part 6 | Ice cream | part 7
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the-b1ah · 3 days
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@skylernightmare ha! When he equipped he gets +5 attack points when he fights clowns. Very helpful in Gotham
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the-b1ah · 3 days
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the-b1ah · 5 days
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Part 6 of You can’t bench me!
I loved every second animating that hug and I’m very proud of how it turned out! Hope all y’all feel the same!! I’ve watched it like a thousand times now so cute!
I’m also free from school! And have most of this comic finished now!
Context:
The batfam are trying to pick their jaws off the floor. What do you mean no screaming match, no “your not my real father”, no “your benched until your 30”??? How did this end with permission to patrol? And a HUG?? And a “thanks dad”??????? That doesn’t happen, someone an imposter or mind controlled because there is no way.
Apparently (ha! A-parent-ly) there is a way when both parties have a crumb of emotional intelligence and go to therapy. Absolutely shocking. To be fair Red Hood wasn’t expecting the hug either (but he is starting to get used to them).
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Phantom&Red Hood hugging:
💖 💖 💖
Their helmets:
*clunk*
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Red Hood: what.
RR: you can parent?????
Red Hood: --
Batman *grabbing RH shoulders desperately *: how.
Red Hood: … you have no idea how many parenting books I’ve read
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Jason *later*: if he tries to hug you and you reject him imma make Ethiopia look like an all expenses paid spa vacation. *Cocks gun*
Batfam *in tears*: he’s going to hug us too??? :D
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Masterlist! | Origin | part 5 | Ice cream | intermission | part 7
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the-b1ah · 9 days
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Part 5 of You can’t bench me!
I don’t want to procrastinate but the parasites in me want to procrastinate.
Y’all are not ready for the next update…im not ready for the next update… my art skill gives me far too much power…
Also shout out to @kitkat-4772 for guessing correctly in the last post!! Remember to keep your silence about the next update or else :)
Context:
Spoiler,Red Robin, and Robin are all thinking of every single time they snuck out to fight crime, got caught, and were lectured within an inch of their lives. They all expect Phantom to experience their pain. Robin thinks Phantom is a dumbass for not just lying about the project being done. Batman is soooooo ready to have one of his kids experience the torment of trying to get an overly competent vigilante child to do anything they don’t want to, especially not to parole for the night. Let one of little terrors see how hard it is to parent and get a taste of their own medicine.
But Surprise! Red Hood is pretty good at this parenting thing, the peanut gallery is in utter shock.
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Phantom: *in tears* can I get sprinkles too?
Red Hood: anything you want starshine, I know you’re trying your best and just need a break
Batkids: how come WE never got ice cream?????(or sorbet for the vegan )
Batman:*deep sigh*
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Batman: i’m not getting a good grade in parenting. Something that is normal to want and possible to achieve
Red Hood: As always i’m a straight A student
Masterlist! | Origin | part 4 | part 6
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the-b1ah · 13 days
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Part 4 of You can’t bench me!
God I wish I could punch people instead of studying for exams. So close to the end yet so far ;-; . If you see spelling errors no you didn’t
Context:
Phantom has officially given up on his homework and joined the flock in fighting crime. How are you going to dad your way through this situation Red Hood? The rest of the batfamily is pulling out the popcorn for the inevitable meltdown and fight.
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Red Robin: spinnn 🪩✨ ✨ bonk!!
Phantom: I have a gun and imma to make it everyone’s problem !!!!
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Phantom: No. >:(
Red hood: …
RR&spoiler: OoOOOOooo someone’s in trouuuuubleeeeee!!!
Robin: what an idiot
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Masterlist! | Origin | part 3 | part 5
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the-b1ah · 20 days
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Im still up to date on one piece!! It continues to be my favorite show of all time and I will rant about it given the opportunity (even when not given the opportunity) so quick little drawing before finals takes my life. ;-;
Context of drawing:
It’s Luffy’s 6,734 attempt to join Shanks’s crew. And even in his drunken state Shanks’s (questionable?) morals pull thru bringing the rejection total to 6,734 as well. Luffy starts to tell him “I refuse your refusal” but gets a hat shoved on his head for his troubles. Shanks would like to enjoy his pick of poison in peace thank you very much ( in truth he does it to block the down right lethal puppy dog eyes, he is only mortal after all).
But heh even with the pout the kid looks good in the hat even if it’s a little big on him (maybe one day he’ll grow into it).
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the-b1ah · 26 days
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Part 3 of You can’t bench me!
Sorry the quality is so bad on the last one the file is too big ;-;
Steph was the most fun to animate this time.
Don’t expect an update soon, I have soooo many exams
Anyway! Context:
It’s a new night and there is no Phantom. School is kicking his ass (he’s just like me fr), so supposedly he’s taking the night off. Let’s see how long that lasts…
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Red hood: my son is completely fine thank you.
Danny: *screaming crying throwing up over his project * I would crave the sweet release of death if I didn’t know it was a FUCKING LIE.
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Masterlist! | Origin | part 2 | part 4
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the-b1ah · 2 months
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Part 2 of You can’t bench me!
Sure Phantom says he didn’t get benched but Spoiler and Red Robin know this song and dance. And Red Hood asking for help? Red hood?? Asking for help???? Yeah right.
Also context:
Phantom is used to being pretty much his towns only defense against his rouges that would attack wherever whenever. Taking time off to catch up on school work, hang out with friends and to just act his age wasn’t a luxury he could afford very often if at all. So now in Gotham which has a full flock of vigilantes, if it gets to be too much he can be “just Danny” for a while without everything exploding horribly in his face.
He also fully trusts Red Hood, maybe even bit blindly. Danny isn’t trained in bat paranoia ™ , so while Red Hood has never called him for back up Danny fully believes it’s bc Jason has yet to need his help while he wasn’t already there. We’ll see later if this trust is warranted…
batburgers are on the line!
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Phantom: you just don’t know him like I do
Spoiler& RR: keep telling yourself that honey
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Mastserlist! | Origin | part 1 | part 3
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the-b1ah · 2 months
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Part 1 of you can’t bench me!
Context:
Phantom and Red Hood have now been seen patrolling together pretty frequently. Ever since Phantom was introduced to the batfam he also pops over to say hi to the others.
They haven’t seen him in a couple days but Red Hood doesn’t seem worried though he won’t answer anyones questions.
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Phantom: I just wanted some ✨✨me time
Spoiler: BULLSHIT!
Red Robin: red hood def benched his ass to do school. Watch out he’s turning into B
Spoiler: ha! Soon we’ll catch hoodie running around in bat ears saying shit like “I am the night ”
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RR to phantom: quit your school join my emo vigilante gang (young justice)
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Mastserlist! | The origin | part 2
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the-b1ah · 5 months
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If anyone was wondering what sound Jason made when he was pulled from the window.
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Part 5 of hide @ dick’s apartment : the FINAL
Jason attempts to Defenestration himself were thwarted by Jazz’s outstanding lassoing ✨skillz (she had a lot of practice with necromancied thanksgiving turkeys and unruly little brothers )
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It’s therapy time boyz!!!!11!1!!
Jazz: and that’s what we call trauma not
Points at Danny : an epic fail that you’ll cope with by punching your villain of the week in the face.
Points at Jason: another chapter in your tragic backstory to fuel your vengeance plot against the evil in the world.
Jazz: now we are going to talk about our feelings.
Danny: no thanks. If I pretend they don’t exist they can’t hurt me or others :)
Jason: here’s an 20 page paper on them but I’m not going to change any of my bad habits and instead double down on them while retraumatize myself :)
Jazz: No.
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Jazz will drag her boys kicking and screaming into better mental health.
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No cereal was wasted in the making of this comic. Some doors were harmed in the making of this comic. Both boys were released back into their natural habitat after their therapy session Jazz is a professional she does this every week.
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Dick doesn’t know wether he wants to get to know Jazz better bc she seems cool or if he should avoid her in fear he’ll be drag to therapy next. Dick is also unsure if he didn’t just hallucinate the whole interaction and at this point is too scared to ask.
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Part 1| part 4| the origin
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the-b1ah · 5 months
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Some people were asking for the gif version!!
Other part 4(same thing but a video instead of a gif)
Part 5 | the origin
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