thornzhaverozes

[thornzhaverozes]

They say my life is worth something, but my existence is hurting the people I love most. I’m tired of causing others pain. My tears pours out like spring showers, warm and salty, but there’s no one to wipe them from my cheeks. I’ve failed everyone’s expectations, even my own.

[thornzhaverozes]

POV: You want to sh for no reason

#trigger warning sh #sh relapse #styro cvts #tw shelf harm #shelf harm

[thornzhaverozes]

I’m back!!!

not for long though…. I’m going to a therapeutic horse ranch soon

[thornzhaverozes]

Guess who has a one way ticket to the Psych Ward!!!

#psych ward

[thornzhaverozes]

The scariest feeling is not being afraid of the things you're supposed to be scared of

#tw sh related #tw sui ideation #im so scared #tw fear #tw depression #depression relapse

[thornzhaverozes]

You bleed just to know you’re alive~

#tw shelf harm #tw sh related

[thornzhaverozes]

I was dropped into a raging sea of despair,

And no one bothered to teach me how to swim.

-M. F.

#despair #spilled ink #spilled journal #spilled feelings #sad quotes #short poem #original poem #original poetry #poetry about life #original poets on tumblr #spilled poetry #tw depressing thoughts

[thornzhaverozes]

"Why aren't you trying?" fuck you, I'm fucking trying my best to not kill myself right now

#tw sui ideation #tw shelf harm #tw s3lf harm #tw sucidal ideation #tw sui implied

[thornzhaverozes]

I'm just curious, why do you sh?

To feel something and all that cringey shit lol

At this point to it's an addiction and I do it out of habit

#tw s3lf harm #tw self h4rm #tw sh relapse #tw shelf harm #tw sh related #tw sui ideation #tw addiction #tw self destruction

[thornzhaverozes]

#tw depressing stuff #tw depression #tired #i'm sad #tw mention of depression #tw mental health

[thornzhaverozes]

Snap, Snap, Snap,

A rubber band around my wrist.

The stinging pain isn’t enough.

I want I need a knife or maybe a match.

I want the pain, the scars, the burning shame.

No, No, No!

I can’t, I shouldn’t,

I did…

I suppose you can’t stop history from repeating itself.

I was stupid to try.

#sh relapse #tw sh vent #tw sh relapse #tw s3lf harm #tw shelf harm #sh blog #spilled journal #spilled feelings #shtumblr #sh tumblr #spilled poetry #original poetry #original poets on tumblr #sad poetry #poetry #original post

[thornzhaverozes]

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you! Please forgive me."

Those are the words I need to say but am too scared and proud to say

#relatable quotes #spilled feelings #spilled journal #spilled thoughts #quotes about relationships #sad but true #sad quotes #spilled heart #heartbrokcnn

[thornzhaverozes]

“I don’t want to be this broken anymore, but pain feels like home.”

—

#relatable quotes #mentally fucked

[thornzhaverozes]

They were full of words I was dying to say, but the fates were against us. You probably wouldn't have loved me anyway...

-unknown

#spilled poetry #sad but true #sad quotes #sad poetry #quotes about relationships #spilled feelings #spilled journal #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #truth #sad truth

[thornzhaverozes]

I know i talk a lot of shit about my parents but i don't hate them, i actually love them to death and I'm sure they love me too even tho some days I feel like they don't, i just don't agree with a lot of the shit they say and do or how they treat me sometimes.

[thornzhaverozes]

I just had an epiphany...

You know that quote from The Perks Of Being A Wallflower, "We accept the love we think we deserve." I didn't think I deserved love. So I chased after what I thought I deserved and I punished myself for not being GOOD ENOUGH. I just realized that no one DESERVES love. Love is love because we don't deserve it. TRUE love is loving someone DESPITE their flaws or shortcomings.

I spent so much time running from the love that was offered to me because I didn't think I was WORTHY of it. I should have just ACCEPTED the love. It's so simple and yet so hard.

I will never be GOOD ENOUGH to be loved. No one will. Even if they spent their entire lives working and striving to be WORTHY they would always fall short. Love isn't and shouldn't be something you EARN; love should be given as a gift FREELY to the UNDESERVING. all we can do is accept it, and give in return.

I want to get better. Really get better. So I will probably still post but not as much.

#get better #epiphany #spilled journal #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #deep thoughts #life quotes #quotes #quotes about love #love quotes #in love #feelings #shtumblr #sh blog #body dysmorphia #suicid@l #healing #mental health

[thornzhaverozes]

People will never understand the dark satisfaction I feel when my vision clouds with black dots.

People will never understand the adoration I see myself with when I wipe my mouth and stare at my red rimmed eyes.

People will never understand the delight I feel when I run my fingers along the outlines of my ribcage while laying down.

Sane people will never understand.

#body dysmorphia #body image issues #tw disordered eating