i-miss-her-where-is-she

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i hope for you everyday,

and mourn you every night

then i bring you back to life in the morning.

i don’t know how to stop this cycle,

or where to move forward to?

you gave me nothing,

and left me with nothing.

yet i crave this nothing

that eats away from me

day by day

night by night.

i have become nothing.

#heartbroken #breakup #heartbreak #poetry #love #im sad #attachment issues #my heart #heartache #tears in my eyes #loss #sadgirl #i love u #love yourself #love hurts #poetsandwriters #poem #crying

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

an unsatisfying piece of art

created to a certain point

all the artist sees

enough to destroy

but not enough to finish

#poetry #poetsandwriters #heartbreak #my heart #feelings #hurt #rejection #broken #im sad #heartache #love #soul to soul #soul mates

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i feel like i’m addicted to an inaccessible drug, you.

#broken #heartache #love #im sad #my heart #words ill never say #heartbreak #feelings #hurt #i miss you #rejection #soul to soul #twinflames

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

the feeling

i don’t know how to explain it

the feeling i get after i talk to you

it’s not pleasant

but it’s not terrible either

it’s exhilarating

my heart races

my face, flustered maybe?

my fingers tingle and tremble when you leave.

like i must move faster and hurry

they’re not butterflies

you’ve hurt me too much for those

anxiety.

that’s what it is

you give me anxiety.

and i crave it when you’re gone.

#heartache #broken #my heart #words ill never say #im sad #love #i miss you #twinflames #souls #soul to soul #my soul #anxiety #feelings #hurt #heartbreak #heartbroken #tainted

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i wonder if he think about me.

wait that’s wrong. of course he thinks about me.

i guess i mean:

i wonder how he thinks about me

#love #my heart #words ill never say #feelings #i miss you #soul to soul #soul ties #soul mates

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

having to risk potentially feeling the depths of heartbreak, pain, and rejection all over again

for the possibility of feeling something beautiful, magical, and ultimately love.

this fear i hold in my body,

this fear is making this experience hard on me.

why do i associate love with pain?

they are two separate entities that can coexist,

but they live in the same exact place in my body.

#love #i have a crush #broken #heartache #healing #my heart #hurt #pain #romance #new love #trying to love myself #rejection #magical #my body #feelings #feels

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i can’t stop crying.

i haven’t been like this this in so long .

such a familiar feeling that i hate so much.

reminds me of the darkest days.

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i feel so lonely.

i want to be held.

to be loved.

i feel like my love has always been rejected.

i don’t mean just romantically,

but in friendship,

in my family.

ever since i was a child.

i feel like the rejection has dulled me through the years.

i know i have so much love to give,

but i’m constantly checking myself to not give even a quarter of what i have.

simply because i know.

i don’t know if i’ve become secure or im simply avoidant.

im so tired of censoring myself when giving my love,

or showing affection.

but i also have allowed myself to stop letting people in.

it started at a young age.

this abandonment wound,

this rejection wound,

this hurt.

i haven’t been consumed by thoughts and feelings they come with.

i’ve been overworking myself to avoid facing it.

and now it’s caught up.

12:18a

#heartache #im sad #broken #depression #my heart #heartbreak #words ill never say #im alone #lonely #surviving #hurt #inner child #inner thoughts #feelings #thoughts #rejection #abandoned #healing

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

the feeling of unworthiness is setting back in

as if i’m its home

#broken #hurt #heartache #im sad #depression #words ill never say #sadgirl #unworthy

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i am too much for others and not enough for me

that’s the problem

#self healing #self worth #healing #my heart #heartache #heartbreak #love #self love #my words

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

if i could go back to the last day we kissed

i would go back and make that kiss last longer

cuz i’d know it would be the last

#love #i miss us #i miss you #i love u #words ill never say #twinflames #my heart #missing you #im sad #kiss #heart

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

reliving the trauma of losing you

because all i know is pain

it’s what i’m used

it’s the reason it’s so hard for me to choose good things for myself

to move on for myself

it’s been 3 years since i lost you,

and i think about you everyday

somedays i feel sad thinking about you

somedays i don’t anymore

and other days i’m full of love and happiness thinking about you

it’s the most confusing thing in the world.

i used to invalidate my experience with you

and gaslight myself

thinking it was all one sided

just to drown my hurt

by telling myself it wasn’t real

and on top of that with my rape traumas i was dealing with at the time too

my mind was so messed

and how you got into a relationship so fast after i pushed you away.

that shattered my heart

in enraged me.

so i felt better telling myself it was all in my head

but i know it wasn’t one sided

i know our love was real

and i know our connection was immaculate to the both of us

i know i was selfish at the time

i wanted you to fight for me

but also wanted to set you free because i felt that i couldn’t bring you happiness in the state i was in

surviving

i felt so unworthy

and i did not love myself

and i know you wanted to love me for the both of us

i know you said there’s not much that you wouldn’t do for me.

but for me

my love for you was to let you go

because i couldn’t be what you needed

i couldn’t give at that time

and i know that didn’t matter to you

i know you wanted to save me

that was your love for me

but can you imagine if we would’ve stayed together

i can’t.

everything i’ve gone through after you

i had to go through

i had to learn all those things on my own

i had to experience everything i’ve experienced

and you as well

i am stronger because of how i went about it all

i am me because of the decisions i made and how i chose to view everything

i love myself today

i didn’t 3 years ago

i’m still mad about myself for somethings right now

but with time and work i’ll figure those things out

i see you at a distance and it warms my heart

and when you’re scared and down

i want you to know that i will always love you

and i always sending you positive and loving energy

so when you feel lonely and unsafe

please know that my soul is always with you

but you must overcome these things alone

you are powerful my love

and i wish i could tell you physically

but i would only get in the way of your journey

i love you my love

always

12:05a

#words ill never say #love #heartache #healing #i love u #i love me #twinflames #souls #healingjourney #i love you #love hurts #my soul #my heart #my love

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

it’s okay to just be

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

it was so beautiful to be no one

#psychedelic #trippy #trip #lsd #love #ego dissolution #ego death

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

i wanna feel you standing next to me

#love #heartbreak #heartache #words ill never say #twinflames #i miss us #i love you

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

in the darkness

is where i saw the brightest things

#healing #love #darkness #im alone #hope ur ok #growing

[i-miss-her-where-is-she]

today i don’t miss you

you’re in my thoughts always

but today i’m living for me

#love #healing #twinflames #i love me