#;;This looks like one hell of a party! [Memes]

[wackywoohooborschtman]

Childe has appeared! What to do?

Flirt

Yell at

Punch

Hug

#;;This looks like one hell of a party! [Memes] #;;Truly fascinating. The harder they try to silence the situation; The greater the chaos erupts. [IC] #;;OPEN

[evilminji]

"DO BETTER!" Says Now Televised Fanboy

He, Dash Baxter is a Phan-Stan!! It's kinda his thing. See, he's a fancy ass talk show host now. Married Paulie, moved out of Amity, actually DID something with his life. His parents? Did not approve. Long n short of it? He got kicked out.

Paulie's parents were PISSED.

Retaliated by giving him all the help he needed getting EVERY scholarship he qualified for. He went to a really nice college. Missed his girlfriend like mad. But she was off in Metropolis, terrifying weaker men. Conquering the fashion scene.

And SOMEHOW? Thanks to that long talk he had with Phantom (*incoherent fanboy gibbering noises* SO COOL!) he's worked to be... more of a LEADER, you know? Less of an asshole. Cause he's popular. People copy him. He can't be an asshole.

So, somehow, when he's punching out some try-hard that thinks he's hot shit for bullying a Nerd? He and the nerd get talking, right? Cause the guy got his glasses completely fucked up. And it's what Phantom would do.

But GET THIS? Guy's never HEARD of Phantom! Is super curious, cause he runs a small time Hero's show on the web. And, Dude? Is it your LUCKY DAY! Cause you just met THE number 1 fan of Phantom, hands down!! He makes his VERY spirited case, about why Phantom is THE best Hero to ever have lived. And this guy?

Entranced.

In AWE.

Just straight up BEGS him to join his show. Cause apparently? He was BORN for it. Which? Yeah. He HAS been giving speechs to the team for YEARS now. And Talking at fan meet ups. Leading fan meet ups. Hosting parties... actually, now that he thinks about it? He DOES do a lot of public speaking? Huh.

But still, he's about to say "no", when?

Dude mentions? He'll get to talk about Phantom.

SOLD!

It. Blows. Up. Absolutely EVERYONE is in love with his pretty face, hot bod, and STRONG opinions. But they ALSO have no idea who Phantom is! Paulie! This is CRIMINAL! Horrifying! What is going ON!?

Some bullshit information black out, apparently. At least according to her... friendly Nemesis? The Goth Dweeb. Who's engaged, apparently? So good for her. Unsurprisingly, it's too the OTHER Dweebs, but still. Bout time she started planning to drag them to a court house. She's the only one with any spine in that group! If she waited for THEM to propose?

Not even as Ghosts, man.

They'd get distracted by shiny nerd shit and whimp out.

Still... a world where NO ONE knows how Awesome, Phantom is? Not on HIS watch!

So he works it in. To every segment. It becomes "his thing". Oh? Super man saved a kitten from a tree? Cute. Well PHANTOM saved a bus full of Ghost Puppies from a shady, rouge, Goverment agency. Do BETTER, Superman!

The Flash, who is a cheap knock-off and stole his name, took down an Ice Villian? Adorable! PHANTOM stopped a Rouge WINTER SPIRIT with the help of YETI WARRIORS then assisted in giving FREE medical care for anyone who needed it! Here's a picture of him making GHOST ICE SNOWMEN for small children! Do BETTER, Knock-off!

What's THAT you say? Wonder Woman fought a GOD in down town paris?

Excellent work Wonder Woman. Flawless as always. But YOU, god-boy, are a disappointment! All that power! And WHAT do you use it for? Are you even supposed to BE here?? PHANTOM uses his power to HELP people! Is awesome and knows TONS of better gods! You're just salty you didn't make the cut!

DO BETTER!

And obviously? No one believes him. There's no record of this "Phantom" guy. The pictures look fantastical and vaguely glitchy/glowy. Not quite right. They GOTTA be photo shopped. Manipulated somehow. But? As a shtick? A fake "perfect Superhero" is kinda funny and unique.

And it's one hell of Fake Hero!

A Dead Champion? Who fights gods and monsters? Rouge agencies? Sassy and tragic? With a mysterious past? Pretty cool! There's even an Offical Comic from some guy that went to the same high-school as Baxter!

Of course, as Baxter get more and more popular? The "meme" hero, Phantom, get more well known? People get more interested in where Dash grew up. You know, just a bored Google. Maybe see if the hero was based off a local legend or something. But... huh...

The Town website?

Weirdly? Sanitized.

Like... like aggressively sanitized. All smooth edges and no details. Very "move along, citizen". Ha ha... it's part of the joke right? They get it! They'll just look up local restaurants or som-....

Wait...

Hey, guuuuys?

Are you finding ANYTHING?

And! Nothing. And I do mean NOTHING! Triggers the "oh? Secrets???" Instincts of a Hacker, like finding a hard blank wall of "KEEP OUT". Especially when it's somewhere it rightfully shouldn't BE.

All it would take? Is ONE person, of decent skills and an account on Certain Forums, getting bored enough to Google the Dude On The TV(TM)? For the GIW's lil walls to come crashing down. Because yeah, you can stop ONE hacker. Even two. Probably five or six.

But how about thousands?

Hundreds of thousands?

From every time zone. Competing. Just to see what you HAVE and don't want them to see. Maybe they do something with it, maybe they don't. But fuck it, you're being RUDE and now they're CURIOUS. And THEN? Oh. Oh holy shit.

Not a meme.

Very real.

Not a joke.

The walls come crumbling down, down, down. Ripped apart by hundreds of hands. Emails sent to every sort of agency. The JLU line inundated with emergency tips. Not a joke. Not A Joke. Holy Shit, IT WASN'T A JOKE!

Phantom is REAL!

And there, on TV, stands the Man. The signal FINALLY breaching containment. Fighting off the invading God of the week. Built like statue, hair like an aurora borealis of white fire held almost delicately in place by a CROWN of ice, a suit made of void and starlight. Inhuman. Beyond human.

Here to help.

A laugh that crackles like ice and the snap of winter, rolls through the air like coming storms, rich and somehow warm. A smile that bares teeth, yet turns so KIND when he looks upon humanity, as though we are precious and worth fighting for. A living star.

A... a once living star.

And in the center of it all? Wearing his BESPOKE, custome made, Number 1 Phan full body outfit? That's right. Dash Baxter. Ha! You fuckers doubted him! Behold his blorbo and WEEP, ya fuckin casuals! The BESTEST of boys! The FINEST of Heros! Superman? Could NEVER.

And now? The weather!

@babbling-babull @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @hypewinter @hdgnj @mutable-manifestation

#dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #dash baxter #dash on tv #Dash Phan AU

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

random percy headcanons:

wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.

literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck

his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)

he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it

will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs

the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.

he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it

percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao

back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone

has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on

weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like

shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao

bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺

can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao

gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.

movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(

percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake

he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it

has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks

grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic

has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.

he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao

he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence

called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week

the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured

has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him

he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.

he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class

currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!

its his birthday<3

#percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #percabeth #molly mumbles

[gureumz]

bet? bet!

like a freak, like a g [installment 1]

rating: explicit

member: jake

premise: there's not much secrets to be found out with the director of recruitment. but he does recruit you for one hell of a challenge: fuck your way around his frat house.

notes: fem!reader, greek life!au, university!au, fwb!jake, slightly possessive!jake (but he's also down to share), dirty talk, brief mention of pregnancy, unprotected sex, creampie

a/n: first installment of the 'sleeping around the frat house' series! tried something different here, not sure if it'll work but i like this one~ i'm so excited for this series so i hope you all join along for the ride! *divider by cafekitsune

jake sim is not your boyfriend.

he's a friend. from high school. who happens to go to the same university as you.

for the first few weeks of freshman year, the two of you were each other's default, having moved to this city all on your own for your respective degrees.

orientation, vacant periods, dinner after class. all of these were spent with jake. you clung onto each other like velcro. freshman jake and ______ versus the world.

and then jake decided to rush for a frat and you got roped into your own extracurriculars. the friendship faded into texts here and there about things that reminded you of each other. memes. an occasional selfie update.

until jake invited you to the frat's recruit-organized party for the year.

"i bought all the booze," jake had declared proudly, voice straining over the booming music. you nodded, genuinely impressed by how well the recruits put the party together.

"it's a fun party," you practically yelled into jake's ear. he pulled back and smiled down at you.

the recruits even managed to rent party lights for the night. and under the purple-red glow of the strobes, you realized just how handsome jake is up close. even when he's standing at the top of the stairs and you at the bottom, him beckoning you up, you could readily admit he was hot.

and you kind of did.

"jake," you breathed out quietly, leaning over the banister from the second floor overlooking the party below. jake is right beside you.

he turned to you, eyes blinking slowly from the alcohol he's consumed thus far. jake leans in closer and you can smell the heineken on his breath.

"i'm kinda...bored," you said rather lamely. jake snorted, leaning his head down on your shoulder. you breathe the scent of his shampoo in, nuzzling your face in his soft raven hair.

"what do you wanna do?" jake asked, craning his neck to look at you from where he's still laid down on your shoulder.

jake snaked an arm around your waist and you knew you were done for. a second later, you were kissing, and within another minute, he's pushing you towards the direction of his room at the very end of the hall.

"fuck, you're so hot," you blurted out over the creaking of his bed, his movements messy and frantic but still enough to have you throwing your head back in pleasure.

"so are you," jake had said, grinning down at you. his hands dug into your sides, keeping you pinned in place as he fucked into you with the enthusiasm only a drunk college frat boy could possess.

and the rest was history.

---

it went on like this for the next year and a half. a friendship maintained through quickies in his car and semi-dates in his frat house bedroom, takeout boxes on his desk while he fucked you doggy style on his (still) creaky bed.

it's not to say you kept things exclusive. that wasn't part of the deal.

whatever the deal is. you haven't really talked about it.

there would be times when neither of you would reach out for weeks or months on end. you'd start to wonder why he was gone so long but then you'd see jake post a girl's hand or half of someone's face on his instagram story, complete with an obscure poetic indie love song in the background.

ah. of course.

in your defense, you had your fair share of flings and situationships here and there. one even came close to an actual serious relationship.

yeonjun, a music major senior you went out with last year when you were a sophomore. he took you out to dates and introduced you to his friends and wrote you songs. but he always found an excuse to avoid that conversation.

(you found out without much difficulty that it was just his ex begging for him to come back.)

guess what happens next.

and so by the tail end of last academic year, you and jake somehow were aligned once again. both single. both horny.

three months later and here you are after the first day of classes of your third year, naked on jake's bed. just like the old times.

"i missed you," jake whispers, hands moving frantically over your body, tugging at your clothes while his mouth busied itself on your neck.

"we saw each other back home a few weeks ago," you reply, giggling when you feel jake lick a stripe up to your jaw.

he can be a little excitable sometimes. like a puppy.

"weeks, ________. can't believe you flew off to some island somewhere while i was left alone to jerk off to pictures of you," jake complains, blowing hair out of his eyes as he pulls away. he tugs his shirt off in one graceful swoop and you're greeted with an eyeful of his abs.

"well, if it's any consolation, i touched myself to your pictures, too," you respond, dropping your voice to a seductive lilt. your hand smooths down jake's bare torso as he leans back down over you, a grin spreading on his face.

"yeah?" he asks.

"oh yeah," you affirm, nodding. you reach down to cup jake through his sweats, a quiet hiss escaping him as you do so.

"fuck, baby, need you so bad," jake admits, hurriedly tugging and kicking off his pants. he's bare under the cotton fabric, having foregone boxers. typical jake.

jake spits on his palm, wrapping his hand around his shaft right after, jerking it to full hardness. he bites down on his lip as his other hand grabs at one of your tits, kneading and squeezing.

"wait," you call out, laying a hand on jake's arm. "you haven't fucked anyone while i was gone, right?"

jake rolls his eyes playfully, leaning down to kiss you. your teeth clash for a moment and you gasp slightly, not expecting such passion from jake.

"only wanted to fuck you," jake admits. he quirks an eyebrow, eyeing you curiously. "how about you?"

you shake your head. "couldn't go longer than a day without thinking about you filling me up with that cock."

jake grins, kissing you again. he lines his tip with your entrance, pulling away slightly as he slips in between your slick folds.

"missed this," jake mutters, pushing more and more of himself in. you simultaneously sigh out in relief once he's bottoms out.

"missed you," he adds.

you snake your arms around jake's shoulders, pulling him close as he starts to rut against you. he moans softly next to your ear and you let yourself do the same, your voices mingling and bouncing off the walls of jake's tiny bedroom.

"fuck, _______," jake groans. "how are you always so tight?"

you don't answer, merely wrapping your legs around jake's hips, pulling him closer. you hear him grunt as he leans back to look at you. his eyes are dark but focused on you. you feel fingers snake around your throat and you can't help the way your eyes roll into the back of your head.

"yeah, that's right," jake chuckles. he squeezes at your jugular lightly and you whine, grabbing at jake's wrist.

"such a whore, aren't you? my cockhungry whore," jake declares. you love it when he gets possessive and you know he knows. he uses it to his advantage any time he can.

"yeah," you agree, nodding as best as you can with jake squeezing at your air pipes. your voice is strained, hoarse from the way jake is choking you.

"yours. only yours."

jake curses under his breath, letting go of your neck. you gasp for air but any attempt to breathe is quickly cut short as you feel jake press your legs up against your chest. you cry out in surprise, jake hammering into you with a newfound speed and strength that sends your brain in a frenzy.

you always felt a certain way when jake has you like this, cunt in full view, body folded nearly in half, fucking into you like he was trying to put a baby in you.

"mine." jake sounds nearly animalistic, a primal need taking over him as he forces your legs harder against your chest.

your head is spinning, limbs going limp with how hard jake is fucking you. the feeling in your abdomen snaps tight, threatening to break.

you babble incoherently a barely distinguishable mix of jake's name, curses, and pained pleas of 'more, need more!' or 'feel s'fucking good, jakey! your cock feels so good!'. it doesn't take long for jake to give the last of his frenzied thrusts, pushing in deep when he cums, spurts of himself filling you up just as you'd hoped.

jake continues to fuck into you after a while, knowing you haven't finished just yet. you reach down between your legs to press your fingers onto your clit, hips grinding up to meet jake's. he complains of oversensitivity but he goes on and by mercy, your own orgasm finally takes over, you clenching down on jake's half flaccid dick.

he pulls out after a few moments, finally allowing himself some relief. you're both breathing hard, sweaty and tired from the whole ordeal. you prop yourself up on your elbows, meeting jake's eyes.

"please don't deprive me for that long ever again," jake says with a sleepy smile, slumping over you. you giggle as you fall back against his bed, jake's face cradled in your neck,

you run your fingers through his disheveled hair, lips pressed against his temple.

jake sim is not your boyfriend but it's times like this that it feels like he might be.

a noise jostles you out of your thoughts. a phone notification.

jake lifts his head from your chest, blindly groping around his bed for his phone. he finally locates it after a moment, handing it to you.

"can you read that for me? jake requests, voice muffled as he snuggles closer to you.

you squint as the sudden brightness of the screen practically assaults your eyes. you blink a few times, reading the message displayed on the notification.

from hee: are you done? i had to physically restrain jay from pounding your door down.

"oh shit," you say, throwing your head back in embarrassment.

"your frat bros heard us," you inform jake.

jake merely snorts, winding his arms around you and pulling you closer.

"as they have a million times before," jake points out. "it's not like i'm the only one who fucks loudly in this house."

your ears perk up at that.

"oh? is the rest of the frat a bunch of man whores like you?" you tease, nudging jake lightly with your knee. he lifts his head up, frowning at you.

"i'm not a man whore, thank you very much," jake says with a roll of his eye. "can't speak for the rest of them, though."

"spill," you urge, raising your eyebrows expectantly at jake.

"sorry, babe, the secrets of the frat must be kept with full confidentiality," jake counters with a shrug.

you narrow your eyes at that. you've seen jake's frat brothers around a handful of times. you'd have to be blind to not see their good looks. and you'd have to be a liar not to admit that they are, indeed, good-looking.

"unless you want to find out for yourself," jake adds, giving you a look as if to say, 'i dare you'.

you straighten up, leaning against jake's headboard.

"let's say i do want to find out," you begin, crossing your arms against your chest.

jake's mouth falls open but his expression quickly shifts into a look of mischief. he looks off to the side, as if pondering on what to tell you. after a few seconds, he snaps his fingers and returns his gaze to you. he's practically bouncing with excitement.

"you can always sleep your way around the house," jake suggests, cocking a brow, as if to challenge you.

you pause. a million different questions come tumbling down on you. before you could get a word out, jake holds out his arms.

"or, at least, the executive committee," jake hurriedly adds. "i can guarantee you, all the other members aren't worth your time."

if you weren't interested before, you're definitely intrigued now.

"i got one ticked off so far," you muse, smiling sweetly at jake. "not much secrets to be found with the director of recruitment."

it takes jake a moment to realize you're referring to him. he rolls his eyes, reaching over to tickle your side. you swat his arm away, giggling.

"as if any of the others could fuck you the way i do," jake scoffs. he leans over the side of the bed, reaching for his discarded shirt. he tosses it in your direction.

you catch the fabric in your hands, pulling it over your head. jake stops as he straightens up, the rest of his and your clothes in his hands. he gives you a one-over and smirks.

"make sure to let them fuck you while you wear this, okay?" jake teases, leaning in to kiss you.

"no promises," you taunt back. jake pulls away, a look of confusion on his face.

"you're not actually serious, are you?" jake questions. you nearly laugh at jake's genuinely clueless expression.

"why not? might be fun," you say with a shrug.

"besides, i never back down from a good challenge," you add.

jake studies you for a moment. you briefly think he might be mad or god forbid, disgusted with what you're attempting to do, but after a while, a shit-eating grin takes over his face.

"atta girl," jake says, winking. he kisses you again, hands grabbing at your waist.

jake sim is not your boyfriend because what boyfriend lets you fuck around with his frat brothers? but then again, it's not too late to talk about it. whatever it is with jake.

but for now, you have a task to get to.

#enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #jake smut #jake scenarios #w: jake

[roosterbruiser]

A blurb about Jake with an introverted SO who surprises him with lingerie. Jake teases her, but is super feral!

𝐏𝐢𝐜𝐤-𝐮𝐩 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐤

𝐚 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

Jake has always been more outgoing than you. It's part of the reason you're together: you were the shy girl at The Hard Deck just trying to survive a night of socialization with her friends and he was the life of the party that was beating everyone in darts. And for some reason, as soon as he saw you meekly standing in the corner nursing a lukewarm beer, he decided to set his sights on you.

It happened easier than you thought it would, honestly. He charmed you from the get-go, seemingly understanding right away that what you wanted was a breather. That night, after buying you and your friends drinks (a swoon-worthy Southern gentleman) and indulging in some friendly games of darts, Jake had asked if you wanted to take a walk down the shoreline.

He was enamored with you from the get-go. Even just the way your cheeks flooded with warmth when he asked and that little pathetic excuse for a nod made his heart race. And once he got you comfortable enough to have a conversation--ones where you laughed that big, throaty laugh and ranted about the importance of the Oxford comma--he knew he was done for.

Honestly, when you first saw Jake, you were certain that he was not the settling down type. And honestly, he didn't think he was either. But then he felt himself yearning for your touch first thing in the morning, before he even opened his eyes. He was thinking about you all day--Hell, he sent you so many songs and instagram memes that you'd have eons of notifications to check. He'd always just say reminded me of you or simply you lol.

Things were just easy between the two of you. Three (perfect) dates in and you were officially a couple. After a year together, he asked you to move in with him. A year after that, the two of you adopted the most pitiful pug in the pound. And now you have settled into a most ardent domesticity.

You're sitting on the kitchen counter now, waiting for him to come back from the gym. It should be any minute now, really, and you hope so because with every passing second that you sit on this marble countertop in this piece of clothing that hardly passes as clothing at all--you're losing your nerve. You've never worn lingerie for anyone before, but Jake isn't just anyone. He's your Jake. He's the only man in the world that could sway you to slip yourself into a mess of strap and lace.

Honestly, you're not even sure you have it on right. There were so many straps and moving parts and you didn't know how much was too much and the lady at the store wasn't here earlier to help adjust you. But when you looked in the mirror, when you saw all the hills and valleys of your body, you were taken back slightly. You looked good--not even just good. Sexy. You looked sexy.

But you're losing your nerve because you're worried he'll be too tired when he gets back from the gym. That and he'll want to take a shower. Maybe he'll even be hungry and you're sitting your almost-bare ass on the counter and, really, he makes sandwiches here so maybe he's gonna be pissed--

"Well, well, well," Jake's voice is suddenly echoing in the kitchen. "And what do we have here? If it ain't my little angel herself."

It startles you enough to jump and clutch your near-naked chest. He's standing in the doorway, dressed in athletic shorts and his running shoes, and he's positively dripping sweat. It's matting his hair and casting a sheen across his smooth skin. His chest is still heaving--probably because he likes to run on the treadmill to cool down, the fucking weirdo--and there is something wild in his eyes.

"Shit," you whispered sheepishly, straightening your spine and awkwardly poking your cleavage out towards him. "Didn't hear you come in."

Jake is all grins, eyes not-so-subtly raking across your seated form. He nods to your pug, who's resting stupidly peacefully on his dog bed without a care in the world.

"Maybe we need a better guard dog," Jake laughs.

You pout, shoulders deflating as your cheeks flood. You cross your arms over your chest, blowing a piece of teased hair from your eyes with a humph.

"I was supposed to be waiting for you. I had a line and everything."

There's a teasing dazzle in his eye when he quips back at you. "Want me to walk in again, angel?"

You shake your head, frowning.

"Won't be the same," you breathe.

He's taking a few steps closer to you, eyes lingering on the sinful line of cleavage that's just begging for his tongue to outline. But you're being sore about the whole ordeal, your vision of sexiness and allure shattered by being so lost in your own thoughts that you missed your cue.

"C'mon," Jake tries. "Tell me the line."

You're embarrassed now.

He stands between your legs, eyelashes fluttering slightly when he catches a whiff of that perfume you've doused yourself in; he bought it for you on your second anniversary and you wear it on special (and sexy) occasions. Nonetheless, he lets his hands come to rest on your thighs--they're soft and warm beneath his calloused hands. But dammit if you don't grow wet at just the feel of those fingers, at just the closeness between the two of you right now. He smells like he's been working hard--not outwardly bad, but odorous. You love it, frankly, and it's something he chides you for. And right now, as his thumbs rub little circles in the meat of your thighs, you're downright dizzy from being in such close proximity to him.

"Well--well, I was gonna be waiting in the kitchen, right?"

His hands are inching up, up, up your thighs. Delicately, he swipes his index fingers along the flowered edge of your lace. You shiver--God, does he know how to tease you.

"Accomplished," he teases, a bead of sweat rolling off his forehead and onto your knee as he leans forward to press a careful kiss to your nose. "Go on."

Now he's holding the bend of your hips, kissing a sweet line down your throat and trying not to moan at just the feeling of your skin beneath his lips. He hasn't shaved today, so his face is scratching you just right--it's tingling your fingers and toes, drawing heat to your core.

After another moment, as he's kissing your shoulders and carefully nipping at the complicated strap situation there, you swallow hard and push forward.

"Don't make me say it," you breathe, wrapping your arms around his neck and curling your fingers in the damp hair at the base of his neck. "It's stupid, baby."

Jake laughs softly, sucking a bruise on your collarbone, digging his thumbs into your hips.

"You can do it, baby," he whispers, hot breath fanning out over your goosed skin. "Do it for me--say it."

You're overwhelmed, so turned on that your mind is practically swimming in a pool of something thick and viscous. He's consuming you already and he's hardly even touched you.

"Iwasgonnaaskifyou'reintofitnessandthensayfitnesspussyinyourmouth," you usher out before you lose your nerve.

He freezes, processing everything you just said. His hands were just beginning to rise to the swell of your breasts, he was just beginning to grind his hard cock against the countertop in a desperate grab for friction, but now he's laughing.

And if anyone else were to laugh at you, you'd have been mortified. Hell, you'd be gone before they could even tone it down and wipe the tears from their cheeks. But it's Jake--he loves you. Hell, he adores you. And you get the distinct sense that he's not so much laughing at you than at your line interpretation.

His grinning face is pressed into your cleavage as he laughs and before you know it, laughter is bubbling up from your throat too.

"Oh, fuck, angel," he grins, pressing open-mouth kisses to your breasts. "I love you so much. You're my fuckin' dream girl."

You grin--entirely dithered.

"Is that why my legs are so tired?" You ask, biting your lip hard.

He raises his eyebrow at you, searching your face. The realization of what's coming next dawns on him and he shakes his head, eyes widening.

"Don't--!"

"--Cause I've been running through your dreams all night?"

He wrinkles his nose at you, but you're already doing a little victory dance, kissing his parted lips as he looks down at you in something between shock and utter surprise.

"Did you Google, like, the shittiest pickup lines and just run with it?"

You laugh again, shrugging.

"More or less," you say.

He sighs in content, nipping at your collarbone again. You gasp and he keens, coming up to just ghost his fingers over your hardened nipples.

Fuck--you love this softness. The way you two are able to seamlessly go between fits of laughter and raunchy sex is something you've never even come close to with anyone else.

"Want another?" You ask breathlessly.

He nods fervently against you, grinning into your sloppy kisses ad you hold his cheeks.

"So bad, angel," he moans.

You moan outwardly when he slips his fingers beneath the lace and pulls it down far enough to take your nipple in his warm mouth, carelessly stretching the lace as he wedges his hand into the other cup to pinch softly.

"I hope you're into yoga," you start breathlessly as he continues his ruthless assault on your sensitive buds, "cause--ah, baby--you're gonna get a good stretch tonight."

"That doesn't even make sense," he mutters against you, nipple still in his mouth as you thread your fingers through his locks and pull softly. "I'm the guy."

"Fuck, I don't know," you whimper, moving your hips towards him and settling your fingers in the waistband of his shorts. "Too wet to think straight."

"Then let's slide 'n' slide to the bedroom," he says.

You two promptly break out in laughter--tears streaming down your flushed cheeks, mouths wide open, chests aching. But then it resumes right after that, like it always does, when his hands come down over your ass to pull you to him.

here is my tag list!!

𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧, 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬! 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐲, 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐨𝐛!

if you liked this, consider checking out my Jake x You story!

#jake hangman x reader #jake hangman x y/n #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin #jake smut #jake seresin imagine #jake seresin smut #jake seresin x oc #jake seresin top gun #hangman seresin #hangman?? more like hang that man's penis...in my mouth #hangman top gun #top gun hangman #hangman seresin x reader #hangman x reader #hangman x you #hangman angst #hangman fluff #hangman imagine #jake hangman fic #hangman smut #top gun maverick #tgm fanfiction #m answers

[cheolsfae]

𓃭 Ateez as your best friend

Requested: Hell no 💚

Genre: fluff

Warning(s): Slight swearing, mentions of bodily fluid, mentions of gaslighting

Feed back and re-blogs are appreciated! 💚

𓃭 Seonghwa 𓃭

I hate to say it but the mom friend. Dude there is no way out of this for him. Every head cannon says it too:') But it's true!

Also talk about sassy!

He dishes plenty of it out and takes it all back like a goddamn champ!

When you need him though, he's there as quick as humanly possible.

You're ex is stirring up drama in your life? He's there to comfort you and maybe kick that person's ass.

𓃭 Hongjoong 𓃭

That one friend who gets uncomfortable when you give them a hug but it's okay cause its you.

Had a bad day? He's right there putting in his best effort to comfort you with that hug.

Make sure you let him know when you get home from hanging out with him or other friends! Otherwise, expect a search party of about 8 weird men on a man hunt for your ass!

𓃭 Yunho 𓃭

The one you squabble with because its fun

"I'm always right! What do you mean?"

"Once. You've been right once and it was about how long a hamster's lifespan is."

"Still right."

You guys were glued at the hip though.

Everywhere he went, there you were following him like a lost puppy and vice versa.

𓃭 Yeosang 𓃭

The friend you sit in comfortable silence with without it feeling weird

You guys could be at the dorms just chilling in silence doom scrolling on your phones

With the ever so occasional "...Look, it's you."

Late night drives were a thing too.

One of you guys would pick up the other and take off into the distance listening to music and just drive wherever the road took you guys.

𓃭 San 𓃭

The friend who makes you wonder what kind of relationship you really have with one another

Are you partners? Who knows? He's just as confused as you

One time, Jongho walked in on you guys completely tangled up in one another's arms.

Needless to say, from that point on he made sure to knock before going in

Never found without the other! "Are you seriously in the bathroom with him while he showers?" "Yeah! I'm just talking to him, it's not like I'm peeping"

𓃭 Mingi 𓃭

No filter. Says whatever is going on in his mind

"I pissed myself at practice today:'))"

But you give it back too so it's not too weird. "Well, at least you didn't shit yourself like last time. A win is a win."

Sending weird memes to one another is a constant thing. No context is ever provided but you get it and it works for you guys.

𓃭 Wooyoung 𓃭

Also makes you question what y'all are, though not as much

Expect forehead kisses, like a lot.

You're leaving his place? Forehead kiss. Going to sleep? Forehead kiss.

Just a very affectionate friend.

Drunk texts were a very common thing between the two of you and the other would have to go check up on the other ending in a sleep over.

𓃭 Jongho 𓃭

Teases you constantly!

Mimics your tone of voice when he finds your attitude funny

Absolutely does not feed into your delusions about that one person who has little to no interest in you.

"Okay, but they looked at me for 2.5 sec." "Doesn't mean they like you."

#ateez fluff #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez reactions #ateez headcanons #choi jongho #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi san #kang yeosang #jeong yunho #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #ateez

[kteezy997]

OMG “best friend’s sister” keeps getting better and better!! please tell me there will be a 4th part

my best friend’s sister-part four(the end)//t.c.

Warnings: angst, secret relationship, upset reader, mention of sex

“Trent’s here.” Timmy said.

"Okay, I'm not gonna tip toe around it anymore.” you said, walking out of the bedroom.

"What?! Y/N!" he followed you, hurriedly, out into the living area. "What are you doing?"

"You messed it up, Timothee. I can't hide while my brother is here. We are practically caught already."

He sighed, "Okay. So what do we do now?"

"We're gonna tell him."

"And he's going to kill me."

"I'll tell him it was my idea. Which it was. Maybe we just shouldn't mention the bathroom thing at his birthday party." You walked over to the door and opened it to reveal your brother.

Trent's eyes nearly popped out of his head upon seeing his sister, "Y/n? What the hell are you doing here?” He looked over at Timothée, then back at you, “What is going here?”

"Timmy and I have been hooking up.” you admitted to him, “I mean, not really even hooking up, it was just a couple of times."

He glared over at Timmy, his best friend. The disgust and betrayal was evident on his face. It quickly turned into anger.

But as Trent made a move toward Timmy, you stopped him, holding him back by the arm, "But I started it. He didn't want to at first. He's the innocent one. Don't do anything stupid, Trent, please.”

"He took advantage of you!"

"No! It was me, I swear. And it's over now. Don’t let this come between your friendship. It shouldn’t end because of me.”

Timmy's attention went from guarding himself from Trent's offense to you. He frowned when you looked over at him, looking almost sad.

"Now, I'm gonna leave. You guys just go on with your night, play your games, as if this… thing never happened. Because that's what I'm going to do."

Trent sighed, then composed himself, “I can't be mad at either of you, really. I mean, even if you wanted to be together, I would try to support you, because I love you both. You're my family."

You were surprised at your brother's mature response. He must have really heard you. The respect he had for both you and Timmy had shown.

"Thank you, Trent, but that's not necessary. It's not going to turn into anything." you said, with as much confidence as you could muster.

"It's not?" Timmy spoke up for the first time in several minutes.

You looked at him, shook your head 'no,' "I should go." With that, you walked out of Timmy's apartment.

........

You felt yourself shaking as you left. You were devastated at ending things with Timmy. You didn't think you'd feel anything for him other than lust. You knew it was just a fun little fling, but somehow your heart had gotten in the way.

With the four years between you and the different stages of life you were in, you were probably still just a kid in his eyes. Not someone he'd take seriously enough to date, no matter how good the sex was.

Tears welled in your eyes. You were still glad he was your first. You knew that he still cared for you, no matter what. Even if he didn't care for you in the same way you did for him.

"Y/n! Wait!"

You were shocked to hear your name, to hear his voice. You wiped your eyes quickly before turning around.

"I can't let you leave like this. You can't possibly think that I want this to end." Timmy said, panting lightly as he'd been running.

"Oh, well I don't think I wanna hook up anymore, after all."

"No, that's not what I mean. I don't want us to stop seeing each other. I don't really care if we ever have sex again."

Your eyes widened at the bold statement from him.

"Well," he thought a second, "hopefully it wouldn't come to that. But what I wanna tell you is that I like you. I like spending time with you, I like the memes you send me, and I love how cute you look in my shirt."

You smiled, knowing that you were blushing hard, but you didn't care. You felt like you were in a movie, but it was even better. You adored this beautiful man, and he was reciprocating.

"Would you maybe want to keep spending time together? Not a hookup, not boyfriend-girlfriend, no labels. Just see where it goes?"

You nodded, feeling so happy and relieved, "Yes." you put your hands on his cheeks and pecked his lips.

Timmy smiled in your kiss, and pulled you into a hug, "My cock is all yours, by the way." he whispered in your ear.

@gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @musicandbooksaremyhappyplace @softhecreator @tchalamss @bitchyunknownuser @lixzey @kpopgirlbtssvt @ducktapebar @aoi-targaryen @yukideadinside @mel-vaz @thatoneweirdgirl17 @iwishchalamet @jindongdongie @elloise0 @rennyd26 @briefkittenearthquake @that-one-fangirl69

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothée imagine #timothee x reader #timothee chalamet smut #timothee chalamet

[stop-talking]

I love your work so much! While I wait for your updates (take your time), what other fics do you like and recommend?

Fanfic Recommendations

Okay, so, you didn't specify if you're looking for fluff or smut... or what character... So I'm just going to share All of my favorites. I'm being vulnerable here. Don't judge me.

Mike Schmidt

Cherries & Cream (18+)

"It's a modest holiday. Spent indoors, soft music on the cassette player... oh, and a collection of bad ideas snowballed into a day of sticky situations." - @sameschmidtdiffname

What's One More? (18+)

"The house is all to you and Mike, which is a strange feeling to Mike as he begins to realize how things are changing. But change isn't always a bad thing, is it?" - @sameschmidtdiffname

Josh Futturman

Spilled Drinks (18+)

(Josh is undercover as a slutty ass waiter for a mission, he eventually loses sight of the goal and begs you to fuck him while he's still wearing the lingerie.) - @xcherryerim

Solo Round (18+)

"Josh is sick of meaningless charging, but instead of asking out the pretty, new game store cashier, he decides to take matters into his own hands. again." - @futureman

Could I Pay You... Another Way? ;) (18+)

"You guys know those memes where it's like the delivery driver aggressively shutting down someone's attempt to turn the pizza delivery into some porno? Like "looks like I don't have any money..." "Why the hell did you order a pizza then?" Anyways that's so Josh but he doesn't even realize that the person is trying to fuck him he's just genuinely confused." - @ronniehutch

Good Boy (18+)

"inexperienced virgin failure josh futturman asks the reader over for some 'video games'." @joshfutturman

Derek Danforth

Tangled

"The holidays are a miserable time of year, especially when ones mother won't even talk to them to let them know she's not coming, sending Derek into a breakdown and wrapping you up in the process." - @sameschmidtdiffname

Old Money, New Money (18+)

"Her stepfather, Bruce, who only married her grieving mother so he could swindle them of their money, works with Derek Danforth, billionaire son of the President and grade-A asshole. Bruce roped her into going to a company party, where she ends up running into the man himself, Derek. She decides to just hit it, convince him to fire Bruce, and quit it. However, her plan doesn't go as intended when she finds out that Derek isn't all that he seems." - @ronniehutch

Clapton Davis

Movement of A Major (Cool Guy)

Who would've known that breaking your arm is the best thing that could've happened to you? - @ronniehutch

Billy

Smoking while you ride him (18+)

(exactly what it sounds like) - @joshhutchersonsgf

Peeta Mellark

those eyes, that mouth (slightly suggestive)

"Peeta bakes you cinnamon rolls but can’t fight the urge to feed you…" - @sleepyhutcherson

For the record I only started actually using tumblr and reading fanfics a few weeks ago. I read like every jhutch fanfic available in just a few days, so it's all kind of a blur. I might have forgotten a few I really liked... sorry!! Also I didn't include anything with an unfinished story.

P.S if a summary is in "quotations" I ripped it directly from the author, and if it's in (parenthesis) I wrote it myself because they didn't have one.

#josh hutcherson #jhutch #derek danforth #josh hutcherson x reader #derek danforth x reader #mikeschmidt #fnafmovie #fnaf movie #mike schmidt #the beekeeper #derek danforth x you #josh hutcherson x you #derek danforth smut #josh hutcherson smut #josh hutcherson fanfic #fanfic reccomendation #fanfic rec #fanfiction #mike schmidt x you #peeta mellark #peeta mallark x reader #peeta my beloved #billy burn #burn movie 2019 #clapton davis #clapton davis x reader #detention 2011 #josh futterman x reader #josh futterman #future man

[cult-of-the-eye]

Something horrifying occurred to me today. If my father was a fictional character, people would think of him in a similar way people see Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. Here's why:

He has had So Much Shit happen to him. Like Jesus Christ. Like string of unfortunate deaths kind of shit. Like how is this man still functional kind of shit.

He's also had such an interesting childhood and life he's such a wildcard like my dad randomly telling us how he smuggled some guys over the border when he was like 19 is giving the same vibes as Jonathan Sims saying he knows what a meme is

That's not to say he's a huge badass or anything (he is but for the sake of this comparison) he was terrified out of his mind the whole time and did it cause he was feeling homesick and was like I know how these guys feel so I'm gonna help. Giving trademark Jonathan "gonna do it but gonna do it shaking like a wet dog" Sims

He's a skinny brown guy who's kinda quiet, supremely awkward and makes dorky jokes

I asked him if he would still love me if I were a worm and he deadass said only if you went to worm Cambridge. Tell me that's not a Jonathan Sims thing to say.

He's probably autistic (he won't talk to you unless you mention something specific and then you can't stop him talking about the geopolitical situation of Bangladesh)

He's so emotionally constipated. My dude has never heard of emotions ever. He once gave me the advice that the way to deal with negative emotions about our shitty situation is to just compare it to poor peoples' lives in Bangladesh and thank god we don't have it that bad. I think he's allergic to therapy.

He's always in some sort of pain. God hates him personally.

He's the most anxious man I've ever met in my life. I think he lies awake at night just planning how he's gonna get through the next day. Like all he does is overthink and eat his own curated mixed nuts snack

He indulges in a funny cat video once or twice

He hates dogs (growing up in Bangladesh will do that to you but also he's not good with the barking)

Saying that, has bonded with one crusty white dog, who he immediately picked up although i don't think he meant to do that, so we get a situation of quite a tall man holding a small dog but both of them looking Absolutely Terrified.

He's such a baby fiend. I've never seen someone so hell bent on being a grandfather. We went to a family party with him once and not even 5 minutes in, we found him holding a baby. I'm taking @lonelyslutavatar 's baby fever Jon as canon btw.

He's constantly in business casual. He'll be in bed wearing slacks. It's not cause he's fashionable but in fact only because those are pretty much the same clothes he's owned since 2005 and the only clothes he owns.

Nobody is quite sure what he does for a living. Like sure we know his job title (I had to look it up on LinkedIn) but his day to day activities? A mystery. Who actually knows what being a Head Archivist entails? Not me.

I rest my case. For now.

#im sorry to say they're both wet cats of men #tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #rambles #jarchivist #tma jon #im horrified at this btw #they both arrived in wet cardboard boxes #they both rock forest green jumpers

[essektheylyss]

WWE Final Result: Eventually, There's Only One Left...

And the polls are closed.

It has been a wild week, and these thirty-two wizards have sure been through some situations. You've cheered! You've cried. You've laughed, I hope. You've written glorious speeches, made videos, edited memes, and shown off some impressive artistic prowess. To get a bit sentimental here, it was a joy and an honor to campaign alongside and against you all, and to see what awe-inspiring and absurd things you have created in defense of your wizards.

But as it always must, it has come down to one.

Our winner of the World Wizard Entertainment is, with the power of friendship, comedic bits, and unstoppable tiddies: Caleb Widogast.

Here is the trophy, it's leaving my hands— and— it's already gone. Does anyone see Mrs. Brenatto? No? Okay.

The Keeper of Scrolls has kindly invited the competitors out for drinks on the Por'co tab before hopping over to Tal'dorei to clean out Mr. Gilmore's shop of arcane foci, so there will be no opportunity for autographs, and if you are looking for glorious goods, I suggest you try the Marquet locations.

All four of Pumat Sol will be out of commission for a week—that shopkeep parties hard.

(Oh no, yeah, no one's dead, hahaha, when I said there was only one left you thought—? oh boy, no, these weren't death matches, you're thinking of Garyon Garrington's Plunder Games. No, they're not airing right now. Something about a lawsuit, I think.)

If you would like to relive the saga of the World Wizard Entertainment, you can find those posts here, along with the original rankings, methodology, poll results, and campaigning. Do peek through the notes for more spectacular commentary, as it is delightful. (And if you would like to see even more of the absurd and wacky content that did not make it into the main tag while I was trying not to clutter things, #VETHSWEEP.)

Now please check your DMs, as one lucky winner has been chosen... to pay for my ensuing therapy bill! This kind of mental tenacity ain't cheap, folks.

The Ultimate Losers tournament commences on Thursday, March 2nd, at 7pm PST. As if defeat at the hands of a kind, underappreciated teacher and animal lover wasn't enough, Ludinus Da'leth is coming BACK FOR MORE against the Bells Hells!

And lastly, thank you all so much for participating. I know some of us have had our differences, but now, at the end, we come together—and if there's one thing we can all agree on, it's Veth Brenatto's Big Naturals.

(Wait— Sorry, who's calling? Say that name again. Vinni— Vince? Vince Mc—? Nah, don't recognize him.

Put it through to voicemail.)

#world wizard entertainment #to be SUPER clear the therapy thing is PURELY a joke but askldgjkl could you imagine lmfaooooo #I know I wrote the joke but I am just like 'damn. what does these 32 wizards in a bar look like. that's REALLY fucking trouble man.' #somebody write that post-show report fic. I'm not gonna do it but someone should lmao. #I will probably write a more sincere post later but. IT IS DONE GUYS

[unreliablesnake]

Promise (Simon “Ghost” Riley x f!reader)

Summary: You and Ghost go on your first date.

Note: Part 2 of the Osprey series. Part 1.

Warnings: reader mentioning that she ate a beef burger once at that place.

This was a first for him. The very first proper date Ghost had ever attended, one where sex wasn’t the only outcome he hoped for. Strangely, and despite working with you for months, he wanted to take his time getting to know you since he knew nothing about you. Every little detail, every story, every quirk interested him, so his main plan was listening to you without making a fool of himself.

You apparently mentioned the date to Johnny, who in return blew up his phone with messages. You like this. You don’t like that. And it wasn’t just him. That idiot probably told Gaz as well, because the other sergeant kept sending him an equal amount of memes and useful tips. Those two clearly conspired against him, and he was honestly waiting for Price to join the party.

On the afternoon of your first official date, Ghost stood in front of the mirror and tried to decide if the clothes he chose would be good enough for you. He wondered what your expectations were. What if he wasn’t your type? After all, you had never seen his face. With each passing second he became more unsure of this. He should cancel it. Yes, he should do just that.

Right on cue, his phone beeped again.

Johnny: Hey, L.T., if you think about canceling even for one second, just look at this.

With a deep frown he checked the picture he received. It was a screenshot of the conversation between you and Johnny. You were panicking, afraid he would think you’re an airhead, or that he would hate your sense of humor. The sergeant tried to calm you down, asking if you liked him.

You: I do. A lot. I think I just scared myself. Sorry.

A smile appeared on his lips as he read your words. At least he wasn’t the only one who was falling apart. But where was this you on the field? He had never seen you hesitate or question yourself. Not like he was any different, but he blamed it all on his fucked up childhood.

Two hours later he was sitting in his car outside the house you lived in, anxiously tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. It was just a date. He had no reason to be this nervous. You watch the movie you talked an awful lot about during the last mission, then you would probably go for a walk or grab something to eat. How bad could things get?

A playful knock on the window caught his attention. It was you, although he had no idea where the hell you came from. He smiled at you and signaled to get in. You took the seat next to him then looked at him with this gorgeous smile that made him want to kiss you.

“Gotta say, it’s a shame you hide this face behind a stupid mask,” you told him, making him blush right at the start.

Excellent.

Before he could respond, though, you leaned over and gave him a kiss. It was strange and unexpected, but it was oh-so-good. Your lips were soft, and he could taste the tea you probably drank before coming down to meet him when his tongue slid over your lower lip, and this whole sensation was slowly sending his brain into overdrive.

Why? Why did you kiss him? It was so weird, right at the beginning of your first date. Or was this normal on proper dates? He honestly didn’t know and you made him way too confused.

“What was that for?” he asked when you finally leaned back into your seat.

With a sweet smile you looked at him through your lashes. “I always wanted to do that,” you replied almost timidly. “But sorry if I–”

Ghost was quick to interrupt you with another quick kiss on your lips. “That’s okay. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now too,” he said with a cheeky grin.

You blushed. He felt a sudden wave of relief wash over him as he realized that maybe things would be less awkward than he expected. Johnny had been right, you were visibly nervous despite initiating that kiss, but by now he was confident enough to even things out. All he had to do was take the lead and let you ease into this date.

Ghost asked if you would be okay with his plan for the night, but to his surprise you said you would rather just talk over a drink. You even suggested a place nearby and said he should leave the car there at your place since it was such nice weather for an evening walk.

There was no need to object, he actually liked the idea of talking about anything that came to your minds while nursing a drink. So once you were out of the car, he took the opportunity to take your hand, wrapping his massive fingers around yours tightly to make sure you didn’t leave his side.

At one point you began to talk, telling him funny stories about an idiot from the neighborhood. Ghost was a great listener. He paid attention, sometimes gave you some feedback, and he was watching you with this dreamy smile on his lips. You were so different from the women he usually met that it was hard to think of anything but the aching need to have you in his bed by the end of this date.

But no. He didn’t want to ruin this experience, he wanted to do this right. Spend the evening together, maybe share a kiss when he took you home, then go home and take a cold shower. The first date should be about getting to know each other.

At the same time, though, he had two little devils on his shoulder–called Johnny and Gaz–who were telling him to go with the flow and sleep with you if that’s what you wanted. “Even if it happens,” they said, “you can always go on a second date. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“By the way,” you said after pointing out you were almost there at the pub, “they have some killer dishes. Their beef burger is heavenly.”

“Is that so?” You nodded with a wide smile. “Well, I could eat,” he said before pulling up your hand and kissing the back of it.

Things were surprisingly easy with you. He wondered if that was because the two of you had been working on the field together for months, probably building a level of trust that many didn’t have. By now you seemed to be at ease too, showing him your bubbly side that he found truly adorable.

Ghost returned with the second round of drinks and slid into the circular booth next to you, his arm automatically moving to your shoulder to pull your body closer to his. You didn’t seem to mind as you leaned your head against his shoulder after placing a soft kiss on the exposed skin on his neck.

You both placed your phones on the table, but he was quick to put it back into his pocket because it kept buzzing to notify him about new messages. They were from Johnny and Gaz, the two who were continuously asking him to send an update or a photo of the two of you together. He groaned as he slid the device away, but it didn’t go unnoticed by you.

“What’s wrong? Do you need to leave?” you asked with a hint of disappointment in your voice.

“No, it’s just Johnny and Gaz. They want to know how the date’s going.”

For a few moments you just stared ahead, then all of a sudden you picked up your phone and opened the camera app. “Come on, let’s send them a picture,” you suggested with a happy smile as you looked up at him.

Nodding, he leaned closer to you and even kissed your head when you took the photo. He watched as you opened a messaging app and started a group chat with the sergeants and him, then you looked for the photo on your phone to send it.

“You sure about this? If you send them the picture, they won’t shut up,” he pointed out.

But you looked confident as you nodded. “We’ll ignore them. Or we can tease them. That would be fun too.”

Ghost couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Messing with them? That sounds good, but I’d rather focus on you now,” he replied while he gently grabbed your chin and made you look at him so he could kiss you.

You put a hand on his arm as you deepened the kiss, getting so lost in the sensation that you both forgot you were in a public place. When out of the corner of his eye he noticed some people staring, Ghost pulled away and cleared his throat. A part of him still found it hard to believe things were this good between you right away, but another part accepted it and wanted more.

“Why don’t we go back to my place?” you asked quietly.

“I don’t want to rush things with you,” he admitted as he stroked your cheek with his thumb. “Let’s take our time, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

#call of duty #modern warfare #simon ghost riley #simon riley #mw2 #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost #modern warfare ii #ghost x reader

[vixendoesstuff]

Fuck it, I'm embracing the cringe

Trolls AU where everything is relatively the same except Branch is a Techno Troll, purely for the reason that those guys are my favs out of the tribes and nothing else

Like maybe his egg somehow washed up to the Troll Tree from some event I haven't made up yet, and he's found by maybe John Dory or Grandma Rosiepuff and was brought into the family

Same thing happened after he's hatched, he got into BroZone as the weird looking but funky Troll baby Bitty B, the thing happened, the band broke up, leaving Branch alone with his grandma

Then she got eaten (cue the meme)

Poor Branch then turned grey due to the trauma he went through, like

More or less he looks like this for 20 years, with the addition of his pixel heart being split in two for added angst

Same thing happened as in canon afterwards; Branch is the village grouch and self imposed exile, except maybe his treatment is sort of worse here 'cause he's not like the others. Evidence, he has fins for legs, fins for ears, his hair can't stretch like all Pop Trolls can, and just generally the "don't sing or dance or hug" thing. Hence, he's a bit more bitter and more towards the village and more willing to lash out more than he did in canon (or atleast what we're shown on screen anyway)

I don't think his poor treatment would go too far since I see King Peppy sort of protecting Branch as best he can by redirecting the villagers' anger away from him. Maybe due to him thinking his treatment from the civillians were too cruel, or it's 'cause he knows Branch is a Techno Troll and felt bad for suffering this fate from the other Pop Trolls and being separated from his own people, so he did his best to accomodate Branch (doubtful, but no one is perfect I guess)

(Will Peppy tell Branch the truth about him, though? Lol, hell no, he's too much of a wuss to do that)

So I guess in a way, he's more or less on good terms with King Peppy, but not enough for him to consider him a friend or anything. Branch just trust Peppy's judgement a bit more than in canon (still think he's an idiot, though)

But anyway, same thing happened, Poppy hosts the biggest and loudest party ever and got raided by the Chef Bergen, Poppy and Branch sets out to Bergen Town to rescue the kidnapped Trolls, set Bridget up to a date with the king, Branch explains his sad backstory, Creek betrays them and got the whole village snatched up, they all lost their colours, Poppy and Branch sings True Colours to get their colours back and subsequently got Branch's colours back (which I'll make a drawing referencr later 'cause I'm still debating on what he'll look like), and they sang to the Bergens to make everything sunshine and rainbows, The End

So yeah it's all the same with the added edition of Branch being a Techno Troll. Other than gags and jokes about him being different and a sprinkle of added stuff to his lore on why he's different, nothing really changes

But when World Tour happens

Oh boy

#so thats all i have for now #ever since i got into trolls and watched world tour #this au idea has been spinning in my brain nonstop like a hurricane #so im embracing the cringe #fight me #slaps branch #this bad boy can fit so many angst in it #ima call this au #techno!branch au #there we go #thats the tag #trolls world tour #trolls #branch trolls #trolls poppy #trolls king peppy #pop trolls #techno trolls #rubs hands evily #hyperfixation is both a blessing and a curse #for real

[elliereject]

angel .1

* ellie meets you at a party and is immediately enamoured, events pursue which cause her to fall for you even more because you’re just so sweet and nice and perfect for her in every way! practically an angel, except..you’re not.

* absolutely whipped loser!ellie, soft dom!femme reader, meanish!reader, thighriding, oral!e receiving, uhhh pretty sure that’s it lmk if I missed anything.

* shits been in my drafts for a month, there’s gonna be a second part I just dk..how I want to continue this (should’ve made it a oneshot but we’re in too deep now), this was based on beabadoobees Angel so don’t be surprised if it gets a little angsty..also guys plz stop unfollowing me _:(´ཀ`」 ∠): I’m inconsistent but I follow thru! more coming soon ty for the love <3 PLS PLS for the ppl who want to be on my perm taglist LMK!!

* mdni

* wc ~ 2k

★ white angels come, intoxicate my blood.

Pure, innocent, kind, delicate, beautiful.

Those were the words that spun through Ellie’s mind when she first laid her jade-green eyes on you.

An angel.

It didn’t help that the blue glare of the LEDs that illuminated the crowded living room highlighted you so divinely it looked like you were glowing.

You sat next to some stupid guy, letting out soft giggles as he showed you stupid niche memes from some stupid ass game.

She was infuriated, at him, but also, a tad bit, you. How could you sit there and laugh so beautifully when she was but a few feet away from you? She knew she could make you laugh so hard the cherry-flavoured seltzer you’d been nursing would shoot out of your nose, she could be way better than him.

She needed to get close to you, to get to know you, to have you.

Determined, she rolled up the sleeves of her signature dark red flannel so her forearms were on display, (the tattoo always had girls swooning) tucked that one defiant piece of hair behind her ear, and snubbed out the roach she’d been smoking onto the ashtray next to her before hoisting herself up off the couch to walk over to you.

When you saw her approaching you, you greeted her with such a sweet smile she could practically feel her teeth start to rot.

She shot the poor guy a piercing glare that said get the fuck outta here before I make you. and he scrambled away so fast you didn’t even get to say bye.

But god was talking to you even better than she had imagined.

You told her your name after she asked and complimented her tattoo when she complimented your smile. You traced your manicured nails over the dark ink and when that damn strand of hair fell from her ear again you tucked it back without a second thought. If she wasn’t completely whipped before, she was now.

After talking for what felt like an eternity (2 hours and 17 minutes), the music that had previously been semi-quietly floating through space was abruptly turned up and she had to strain her ears immensely to hear your soft voice, so you fidgeted with the gold necklace draped around your neck and averted your gaze when you asked her if she wanted to take the conversation somewhere more quiet, more private.

She immediately agreed, trailing behind you like a moth to a flame as you gracefully made your way up the frat house’s stairs toward an empty bedroom and she tried desperately not to watch the way your hips swayed and ass moved in that flowy pale blue dress you had on, but she was no better than a man.

She closed the door behind the two of you and felt her heart constrict when she turned to see you sitting on the bed, patting the spot next to you, signalling her to join you.

She sat down and tried to discreetly wipe her sweaty palms on her jeans. She was nervous, and she never got nervous. She was Ellie Williams for Christ’s sake, girls practically dropped their panties whenever she flashed them that suave smile and her gorgeous green eyes, she was a stonecold playgirl.

But this time it was her turn to drop her panties—uhh, boxers. She had just met you and you were already turning her into mush, hell, she was ready to bark if you asked her to.

this can’t be healthy, she thought.

Regardless, her breath quickened as your hand interlocked with hers and your face inched closer and closer, your glossed lips fanned over her slightly chapped ones as your other hand lifted to her cheek, tracing over the array of freckles that dotted her face.

Her eyes locked with yours as you whispered loud enough for her to hear, “Can I kiss you?”

She doesn’t think she’s ever acted so fast in her life, her lips immediately fell into yours as your eyes fluttered closed. Surprisingly, she found herself opening her mouth to let you in, your tongue dancing with hers, swirling around her mouth like you were fucking born to kiss her. If it wasn’t for your hand holding hers, she’s pretty sure she would’ve started floating upwards.

You tasted just as she thought you would, like cherries and candy floss and heaven and light and happiness and—

You pulled away and distress immediately flashed over her features,

did her breath stink?

was she, not a good kisser?

were her lips too chapped?

You giggled softly at her demeanour and she felt her confidence deflate like a balloon.

“Sorry I–“ she started but you cut her off, your lips meeting hers again.

“Didn’t mean to laugh, just thought you looked cute,” you said after pulling back.

Heat crept up her freckled face and she cleared her throat, you thought she was cute? Pretty? Alright. Handsome? Cool. But cute? She’d never heard that term be positively used with her before, usually, it was used by asshole guys who decided to undermine her and be misogynistic before getting their lights punched out. She wasn’t even sure how to react, what the hell were you doing to her?

She rubbed the back of her neck, muttering a small thanks as her eyes wandered around the room. She was staring at the lava lamp on the right bedside table when she heard you messing with the sleeves of your dress.

You tilted your head and with the sweetest voice she’s ever heard asked, “Are you going to help me take this off so we can fuck, or do I have to do it myself?”

She could practically hear the ‘woosh’ of slick gushing out of her and dampening the in-between of her underwear, you were seriously going to kill her.

She shook her head, “Sorry, I didn’t think–“

“That’s alright,” you reassured her, “now help me unzip this.”

You turned around so your back was facing her and pulled your hair to one side. She cautiously lifted her hands toward the zipper of your dress and pulled it down, revealing the beautiful lace of the white bra you had on.

She let her hands rest on the bare skin below your neck for just a beat before sliding them back down to push your dress down to your hips. You lifted yourself briefly to tug it the rest of the way down before placing it gently on the floor.

You turned back around to see her already staring at you, she admired the tiny pink bow that sat in the middle of your bra and the way it hugged your chest so fucking beautifully, as well as how if she angled her head right she could see your nipples poking through the light material.

You giggled that amazing soft giggle again and noticed the dusting of pink that grew on her cheeks. Honestly, she could’ve stared at you for the rest of her days but she realized she should probably strip too.

Her hands made quick work to unbutton her flannel and rip off the white tee she had under. You aided her in pulling off her jeans after she unzipped them and felt wetness pool in both your mouth and your panties when you noticed the huge dark grey spot on her boxers.

You moved closer to her, pulling her in for another kiss and unlike the others, it was heated and hungry. Your tongue expertly slid over hers and the little bite you gave to her bottom lip when pulling back had left her breathless. She grabbed the sides of your hips and lifted you onto her lap so you were straddling her and moved to leave strawberry kisses along the sides of your throat.

You placed your hands on her shoulders to provide stability as you slowly started grinding on her thigh, the course material of your panties along with her thigh providing immense amounts of pleasure.

The feeling of your soaked heat against her thigh had her head reeling and her clit aching. And the sounds you made when she started to bounce her leg almost sent her into cardiac arrest. She committed every whimper, moan, and mewl to memory.

You rolled your hips against her faster as she moved one of her hands from your hip to the plush of your boob, lifting the lacey material to circle your nipple with her thumb before popping it into her mouth.

“Fuck–Ellie.” You moaned out, arching into her touch. When your movement began stuttering she knew you were close and gripped your hip to help you move against her as her tongue ran over and circled your nipple.

“‘I’m close, so cl–“ Your mouth fell open in a silent scream when your orgasm rushed over you, drenching your panties and Ellie’s leg.

“So pretty..” she mumbled, relishing in the sight of your post-orgasmic face. She wanted to see it again, and again, and again.

She helped you off of her and onto the floor so you could settle between her legs. You rushed to pull off her boxers so you could get to work on her cunt.

Now, Ellie Williams is pretty famous around campus for giving astronomically good head. Some would even say the best, but she was ready to toss the title out the window without another thought the second your tongue started working its magic on her.

She wasn’t known to be very vocal in bed, but the way you dove into her had her going insane. She shoved a ringed hand into your hair and slapped the other over her mouth to muffle the grotesque sounds she was making.

Your lips expertly sucked on her clit and your tongue made her moan out a small “fuck” when it slid into her slit. She was so close, of all the girls she’s been with she doesn’t think she’s ever gotten so close to cumming so fast.

The hand that was in your hair tugged you closer into her as she practically rode your face to chase her high.

“‘s close. please, angel right there.” Her mind was so muddled with thoughts of her approaching orgasm that she didn’t even process what was spilling from her lips.

You moaned at her use of a nickname and the vibration it sent throughout her body was enough to send her over the edge, stickiness flooding into your mouth and over your tongue, as you continued to slurp her up before she started pushing you away gently from the overstimulation.

You leaned back, the same sweet smile adorning your features, the only difference being her cum dripping from your face.

Shit she thought, still catching her breath, how could someone so sweet looking give such great head?

She was still basking in her post-orgasmic bliss when she heard more shuffling, she tilted her head up to see you putting on that sweet little dress of yours.

She shot you a puzzled look, that’s it?

You shot her the same look, “Is something wrong?”

“Where are you–what are you doing?”

“Putting on my clothes, silly,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I see that, but why?”

Confusion still framed your face before it switched into one of understanding then…pity?

“Don’t tell me you thought…” you giggled again, only this time instead of filling Ellie’s head with images of marshmallows and bunnies, it was bright red blaring alarms.

“I thought we were like I don’t fucking know vibing, and then we’d exchange numbers or some shit.” she said.

To which you laughed, “No no, you were cool but I don’t become friends with the people I fuck at parties.”

What?

“What?” She exclaimed, sitting up fully so she could pull on her boxers.

you tilted your head, “You didn’t think that this would be more than just a quick fuck, did you?”

She didn’t know what to say, because she did think that. The two of you talked for hours and you laughed at all her jokes and she was 90% set on calling Jesse to drive over and deliver his great-grandmother's ring so she could propose and you tucked her fucking hair behind her ear…

“I kinda did yeah, 'cause you made it seem like it would be.”

You paused before that same fucking sweet smile crept up on your face, it was really starting to piss her off now. “I’m so sorry you thought that.”

“What the fuck?” She scoffed.

You shrugged, walking over to the vanity to touch up the makeup that had been smudged like you weren’t just eating pussy like your life depended on it.

She just watched as you fluttered around the room, collecting your belongings. She was at a loss for words, what else could she say to you to make you stay? Talk to her longer? Kiss her so she could taste herself on your tongue?

Nothing. she figured as you waved her goodbye before slipping out of the room as well as her life.

angel my fucking ass.

#ellie angst #ellie au #ellie fic #ellie fluff #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #IS THIS PROOFREAD #WHOKNOWS? #elliereject

[blighted-lights]

i have to do every meme u rb bc friendship code. but tfp soundwave, my most jealous wife. gimme the hcs 🫵🌸

(TFP Soundwave, IDW Sunstreaker, IDW First Aid, and IDW Ravage have all been asked for! Feel free to send in an ask for any character that isn't one of these four 🌸❗️Not limited to followers or mutuals, so go wild!)

First Impression: Oh, this design FUCKS. My first watch-through of TFP happened when I was very young so I cannot remember much of my first impressions of each character, but I do remember really, really liking how Soundwave looks in TFP. More than that, I LOVED the idea of Soundwave being a stealth aircraft + his full-face glass visor. While Knockout was, and is, my favorite character in TFP, Soundwave was also very up there when I was first starting to watch the show. Keep in mind I was a kid so I wasn't having many mega-brained thoughts on him quite yet. I thought he looked sick as hell, he was cool when he fought, and I wanted his gender.

Impression Now: It's a mix of two things. One, not only does this design fuck, but given the chance I'd tap in a heartbeat, no one could pull me out. And two, he's um... well. He's not much of an actual character, is he? I believe he is one of the Decepticons we see the most, but it feels like he's in the background for most of his scenes. And aside from his loyalty to Megatron and his care for Laserbeak, we don't really know that much about him. He doesn't really have personal relationships with the other 'Cons outside of Megatron and Laserbeak, he doesn't have any hobbies from what we can tell, he's got a bit of a snide sense of humor sometimes but not often, and he's mostly shadowing other characters when he is on-screen. Plus, we never get to see extra moments with him like we'd get with the rest of the Decepticons. It's a bit of a shame. He's still one of my favorites of TFP, but his rank is a bit lower on the leaderboard now that I've watched the show a few times.

Favorite Moment: Very hard pick. There are a handful of scenes that I really, really like with TFP Soundwave, but I think the one that stands out to me the most is when Laserbeak is injured by Wheeljack and Ratchet, he abandons his fight with Wheeljack to go to her once he gets her signal. This is probably the most characterization we really get to see for this Soundwave. I go back and forth on this scene a bit because it feels icky that Ratchet and Wheeljack refer to Laserbeak as an it/a drone so often, so it's one of my least favorite scenes in general, BUT it's one of my favorite scenes for Soundwave because we get to see his care for Laserbeak.

Idea for a Story: I would LOVE to read/write a fic or see art of Soundwave returning to the Decepticons after being captured by the Autobots and learning that Megatron intentionally did not go to save him. Like I am sure this is something Soundwave understands already, but I want to see him realize that he was essentially abandoned and left in Autobot hands by the one person who he'd sworn loyalty to above all others. Soundwave was going to be tortured. He could of died. And Megatron wasn't even willing to go after him, despite everything Soundwave did for him. I would eat this UP.

Unpopular Opinion: Do I... do I have an unpopular TFP Soundwave opinion? Not sure. I'm not sure if I'd really call it unpopular, but it's an opinion I don't see very often. I wish we got to see Soundwave outside of Megatron's influence. And I don't mean having Soundwave while Megatron isn't in charge- we had that before. I want to see him act outside of Megatron's will. The leader/servant dynamic is one that is only interesting to me if there is conflict between the two parties, OR if there is an equal level of respect and care between the two. That is not the case with TFP Megatron and Soundwave. Sure, Megatron values Soundwave, as Soundwave is one of the only consistently competent people around, but he doesn't care enough about Soundwave to protect him. Value ≠ care or respect. It just means Soundwave is useful to Megatron.

Favorite Relationship: Soundwave and Laserbeak. Easily. She's the only person Soundwave seems to give a fuck about outside of Megatron, and it's very clear that this care is returned, as Laserbeak was the one who went after Soundwave when he was captured by the Autobots. I wish I had more to say here but Laserbeak is even less of a character than Soundwave, so there isn't much to go off of. I also like that this Soundwave actually has a gap in his armor that Laserbeak docks to, rather than just his usual tape-deck. It makes it obvious that the bond he has with Laserbeak is singular, as there are no other cassettes present in the TFP show, and it makes it feel more personal.

Favorite Headcanon: Soundwave does not have a conventional face under his mask. I might not know WHAT is under there, but I do know that I hope it is cool as fuck, and a face isn't going to cut it. Give me a mess of wires connected to his glass visor. Give me a single glowing optic and a fucked up mandible mouth. Give me anything that isn't two eyes and an average mouth. Make him fucked up!!

#transformers #character meme #transformers prime #tfp #maccadam #maccadams #soundwave #tfp soundwave #megatron #tfp megatron #laserbeak #tfp laserbeak #also yeah laserbeak uses she/her pronouns. that robot is a girl. what are u gonna do about it. #but hehe hiii kadar #so happy you asked for soundwave #OUR jealous wife #bluejay 💙 #so sorry kadar :( i cannot draw tfp soundwave. hes too swag. he fucks too severely. #feel free to seen in another ask to make up for it. our wife too strong 😔

[octaviasdread]

I hereby conduct this tortured poets society album meeting in all of its mania and sorrowful blues as I move from unhinged impressions to unhinged first-listen analysis because I am incapable of saying less.

(and to all the Aimees i’m so sorry but that’s on Kim)

This Anthology is taking me so long to process, but nothing feels like the first jarring moments of I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - the cacophony and flashes of a birthday breakdown bopping to 80s arcade game synth. It's crumbled cake and mascara streaks when Bejewelled is actually a delusional Mirrorball,

and The Secret Garden reference in I Hate It Here, oh god, she’s so me:

I hate it here so I will go to / secret gardens in my mind / people need a key to get to / the only one is mine / i read about it in a book when I was a precocious child

I need to come back to that. But the whirlwind of Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? Plans cancelled. IM THE ONE barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine, actually. It's me chained-up in that poor things victorian mourning dress shrieking elegies in my tortured nightingale screams.

She's Grammys Taylor looking at the crowd of her peers rolling their eyes, she's the litany of snide jokes diminishing her success, and the children, sisters, friends, and girlfriends of those who wronged her loudly singing her songs.

so i leap from the gallows and i levitate down your street / crash the party like a record scratch as I scream / who’s afraid of little old me

i was tame i was gentle til the circus made me mean / don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth

ohhh, the throwback to Speak Now and the significance of MEAN. The song and its titular word show how childish language encapsulates that pointless spite and the bone deep hurt mean behaviour breeds - but now she’s a phoenix risen, and they hurl her youth and her downfall back in her face - word for word, surprised face - its the dark side the The Lucky One, of not escaping the cage of fame games.

you lured me and you hurt me and you taught me / you caged me and then you called me crazy

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me / you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me / so all you kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs / i’m always drunk on my own tears isn’t that what they all said?

PUT NARCOTICS IN MY SONG took me out. This album is funny in the most sardonic and absurdly humorous ways,

like the classic cowboy western guitar strings in her crime songs (I Can Fix Him, No Really I Can - pistols drawn), but especially the ones leading into Fresh Out The Slammer. Fucking genius, and to follow on with static sounds at 2:26ish to the house where you still wait up, is exactly the kinda detail I adore.

Naively, I thought Florence was done with me after Florida!!! It's a lyrical meme for single 20 & 30 somethings who moved away from home,

my friends all smell of like weed or little babies / and the city reeks of driving myself crazy / little did you know your home’s really only / a town you’re just a guest in

and the haunting morphs from the ghost of your girlhood into the catalogue of decisions and delusions which get you through adulthood. Yet it feels almost like an interlude within the song when

me and my ghosts we’ve had a hell of a time / yes i’m haunted but i’m feeling fine / all my girls got their lace and their crimes / and your cheating husband disappeared/ well no one asks questions here

appears like an alternative pov for No Body, No Crime with the girls and their ghosts and their pacts made over wine. Every Action has an Equal Reaction. Run away to Florida, or Texas, and lose yourself to lose the heartbreak. Its self-destruction, it's trauma-healing, bonding, and its breaking.

(what a song for an angsty girl collab, problematic girl in hand with problematic girl, lyrically and thematically, maybe the real love story is the friends we make along the way.)

And that wasn't even the last of it. It's Florence 2.0 with B side Cassandra, but instead of Dance Fever, its Taylor’s glorious mythology with all the allusions, parallels, intertextual and lyrical ruining of my mind:

when the first stone’s thrown they’re screaming / when its burn the bitch they’re shrieking / when the truth comes out its quiet

so they killed cassandra first cus she feared the worst / and tried to tell the town / so they filled my cell with snakes i regret to say / do you believe me now?

No apologies anymore. A girl given the gift of prophecy by Apollo, the GOD OF POETRY, is cursed with her prophecy never being believed: Burning all the witches even if you aren't one, indeed. She saw the truth of the Trojan horse, and the Trojans insulted her. Rep snake branding and the current cultural view of KK and Ye. I don't need to say anything else.

i was in the tower weaving nightmares / twisting all my smiles into snarls

the family the pure greed the christian chrous line / bloods thick but nothing like a payroll / bet they never spared a prayer for my soul

I literally played that THREE times before I got over it enough to finish my first listen,

and i’m still thinking about Clara Bow and that Stevie Nicks tambourine we collectively freaked over from the Spotify installation, and all the silent movie speculation from the track title release.

you look like Clara Bow in this light - you look like Stevie Nicks in '75 - you look like Taylor Swift

Three women whose public profession became entangled with their pain. Silver Springs. Boyfriend songs. The jokes. Clara Bow.

Clara feared being left behind by 'talkies.' Miss Americana. The fear of 30 bringing death to a woman's Hollywood/Musical career,

beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more / only when your girlish glow flickers just so / do they let you know?

Three women who beat the odds - three women whose talent, craft, and popularity carried them through.

But there's something more to unpack here with cycles and patterns - of the past endlessly repeating. It's the transient nature of fame and our fleeting view of beauty mapped out in the untouchable, ever-changing, and culturally worshiped moon.

It's a body of physical craters, a natural body we call discovered, and fight to claim. We project emotions and create rituals of worship - you're the new god we're worshipping. Endless stories are told about her, but we can never fully see the moon with human eyes. Eclipses, shadows, - 'half moonshinе, a full eclipse' - half-truths and half-moons:

this town is fake but you're the real thing / breath of fresh air through smoke rings / take the glory, give everything / promise to be dazzling

There's a play on light and a play on words in the repetition of Dazzling, shining so bright so blindingly bright. Who is dazzled? Who is doing the dazzling? There's an instability between Director - Public - Star. It's Hollywood lights, No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of Manhattan / No one in my small town thought I'd meet these suits in LA.

She beat the 'War Big Machine' - but for me, there's ambivalence and illusion on all sides of the final lyrics, you've got edge, she never did / the future's bright, dazzling.

(and ‘Edge’ is particularly ironic when you consider the songs on this album…)

Moving again into the B Side, it's Taylor's departure from Invisible string, red strings of fate, and golden threads à la the golden chain of fate in Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities that strikes me.

First, I thought her writing was a complete departure from the themes of destiny and fate, but then, The Prophecy:

cards on thе table / Mine play out like fools in a fablе

it isn't an absent symbol; it transformed. It's the evermore forest amped to the max. Witches, folklore, fairy-tale and fable - a homeric epic. Its the hero's journey distilled as she opens the song with a move from 'full throttle' adventure, to slowing down 'Hand on the Throttle' to appeal for Supernatural aid at the hero's transformative fall.

and it was written / I got cursed like eve got bitten / a greater woman wouldn't beg / but I looked at the sky and said / please I've been on my knees / change the prophecy

Lover asking Traffic Lights becomes spending my last coin so someone will tell me, and this might be the most slept-on heartbreaking line. Her search for reassurance can't be framed as an arbitrary musing anymore. It can't be dismissed as a mere thought on her drive home, or something triggered throughout the day - its intent. It's a quest for answers, a plea, a last-ditch hope difficult to deny.

and I sound like an infant / feeling like the very last drops of an ink pen/ a greater woman stays cool/ but I howl like a wolf at the moon / and I look unstable /

gathered with a coven 'round a sorceress' table / a greater woman has faith But even statues crumble if they're made to wait / i'm so afraid I sealed my fate / no sign of soulmates

She's asking for a gift from the Gods, and when the God's won't answer, she plunges straight down from heaven or Olympus into the self seizure of power in witchcraft. And when it fails, she descends further - Spending my last coin so someone will tell me it'll be okay - paying mortal fortune tellers, even if they lie.

The song leans on figures without redemption, on the Eve's, on the women cursed and punished, and those who scream like infants rather than enduring burdens and pain in silence. She's poisoned, infected like Aurora from the wound of the pricked hand with dreams of him. Is this a punishment?

She's infected, cursed like Eve got bitten, [lyric of all time!!!!] but does a monster always do monstrous things? Who is the monster? Who is the folkloric, the literary Mad Woman? Perhaps she's written from the desperate, the scarred, and the wronged.

and the transition into another tale with Peter? As in Peter losing Wendy? Is it an epilogue to the Betty trilogy? or a different use of the metaphor?

and I didn't wanna hang around / we said it was just goodbye for now /said you were gonna grow up / then you were gonna come find me / words from the mouths of babes / promises oceans deep / but never to keep

The triangle is echoed in love's never lost when perspective is earned, reflecting the different povs of Betty, August, and James, and placing Peter as the new conclusion - the shelf life of those fantasies has expired / lost to the lost boys chapter of your life/ the woman who sits by the window/ has turned out the (porch?) light.

Promises wear out. Wendy's window closes, and so does this chapter in her life.

my lost fearless leader / in closets like cedar / preserved from when we were just kids / is it something I did? / the goddess of timing / once found us beguiling

is also - intentionally or not - Narnia coded. Is the storybook collecting dust in her closet? Or is the closet still holding a portal to another fairytale land accessible only in youth, another home you can't return to (and another folklore parallel with mtr, anywhere I want just not home).

Side B is so harmonious with ttpd being the end of a chapter as the anthology moves through all the seven stages (or Taylor playlists) of grief.

The Manuscript, the signing of the autopsy, is the Death of the Author. It's the Roland Barthes realisation of All Too Well reborn in joy and fan culture, the story isn't mine anymore, of the Eras - 'I hope you hear these songs and think of this night' - Tour. She knew what the agony had been for - art. connection. - and its these things that create the hope lost in ttpd's journey through mania, disorientation, loss and despair. It all leads to healing, nothing left but a manuscript.

So many thoughts from listen no.1 and they’ll probably change, but i’m so exhausted from this 31 song rollercoaster that I'm just gonna let this sit. death of the author, I guess.

#still calling it the poets society and im not sorry #blurred muses #the fans her peers the lovers and HERSELF #and uncomfortable honestly #would love to hear other people’s thoughts #anthology is so much to take in and I am so invested #CO Posts #co speaks #taylor swift #the tortured poets department #ttpd #who’s afraid of little old me #waolom #cassandra #the prophecy #i can do it with a broken heart #icdiwabh #peter #clara bow #florida!!! #fresh out the slammer #the manuscript #ts ttpd #ttpd analysis #ttpd reaction #ttpd anthology

[mauesartetc]

While we're waiting for Millie's shine in later episodes, how would you develop Millie and how would you write her?

PFFF uhh I expect we'll be waiting indefinitely tbh. But I guess the first step would be to ask a lot of questions and figure out which pieces are missing from the puzzle. Here's a list of what's on my mind about Millie, in no particular order:

In "The Harvest Moon Festival", she hugged her dad upon seeing him, but not her mom. Was she closer to her dad growing up? Why?

What first attracted her to knives and axes, and who taught her to use them as weapons?

What was her favorite job on the farm growing up?

Who was her first love?

How did she meet Blitzo and Moxxie?

What occupations did she have before joining IMP?

Does she ever hang out with anyone other than her coworkers and her husband? What are her friends like? How did they meet?

Does she want to have kids someday?

What's her educational background? If she went to college, which subject/s did she major in?

What hobbies does she have outside of killing people?

Millie's aggressive, violent side is emblematic of Wrath ring culture, but does she have any traits that clash with it?

What's her favorite location in all of Hell, and why?

Standard job interview fare: Where does she see herself in five years?

Why doesn't she ever stand up to Blitzo when he berates her husband? (I mean, in a meta sense, we know why, but what's the reason inside the narrative?)

What does her extended family look like? Do they all live in Wrath, or are they spread out across other rings?

What does she love most about Moxxie?

What did she and Moxxie do on their first date?

What's her most prized possession?

Most of these questions are fairly surface-level, like the kind of thing you'd ask someone you just met at a party. But the thing is, we've barely been introduced to Millie through this entire series. It'd help if she spent an episode or two away from Moxxie so we can see her personality as an individual rather than part of a set. These writers seem to think true love = being attached at the hip, but that's not how strong relationships work. You need a balance of the partners spending time together and having time to themselves. If a relationship leaves no room for independence, it'll get stifling pretty damn quick.

Maybe at some point, Millie gets burnt out from work and decides she needs a solo vacation for her mental health. This would separate her from Moxxie and provide an opportunity to glimpse parts of her life that don't revolve around him and IMP, as well as delve into the fractured mental state of a character who's usually a pillar of strength. To co-opt and rephrase a meme real quick: Everyone asks "What can Millie do for me?", not "How is Millie doing?"

Ideally, the whole episode would focus on her, with no B- or C-plots. She could meet her friends for coffee, or maybe visit extended family members. Perhaps learn some things about herself she never knew before. This all sounds very low-key and lacking in spectacle for this show, but any plot can crackle with deft storytelling. It'd be preferable if the episode answered multiple questions (not too many, but multiple) about the character at its center.

But when all's said and done, it seems the most important question is: What does this character currently struggle with the most? What do they want, and what's preventing them from getting it?

One major problem Millie and the other IMP employees have is that they don't seem to want anything. There's not much driving their actions.

Blitzo presumably wants his business to succeed, but what does that look like to him? What specific goal is he trying to reach? The Goetia family has a bit more direction: Stolas wants a deeper emotional connection with Blitzo (God only knows why, but that's what's presented to us), Octavia obviously wants her parents to stop fighting (though we have no idea how she plans to achieve this), and Stella wants Stolas dead (though she didn't think the consequences through, somehow) but everyone else is a big ol' question mark.

Anyway, that's just a basic overview of how I'd approach it.

#helluva boss #helluva millie #helluva critical #writing #character development #ask #blacklilly27