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anxiously-sidequesting · 5 months

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My Personal Shadow Magic Headcanons - "Shadow Sickness"

I'm so autistic and lazy so here's another weirdly-worded headcanons post from me at 4 AM (lmk if I need to tag this as anything specific btw

What I'm personally calling "Shadow Sickness" is the official, prolonged version of Backlash - adverse effects that target the practitioner even outside of the duel circle and in their everyday lives. While "Backlash" refers to the immediate and spontaneous barrage of attacks that takes place after a Shadow spell, "Shadow Sickness" is the gradual deterioration of the practitioner's mind, body, and soul. True to the name, this effect likens more to an illness, a virus; something that's alive and slowly takes over until there is nothing healthy left behind. The symptoms are emotional, physical, mental, and even spiritual.

While regular Magic has life force within it, Shadow Magic is the only type of magic that can be considered "sentient". Not a thinking being with goals and plans, but something living and breathing with the most basic instincts. It's what's considered "Chaotic" and dangerous about it - the Wizard bends and controls regular Magic, but Shadow Magic can bend and control the Wizard. It is the only type of magic that can "fight back" in its own way.

This sentience is what allows for Shadow Sickness and Backlash to happen - these are purely just the results of it "fighting back". The Shadow Magic is reacting to the practitioner. It's acting by its nature by rearing its head back and snapping the hand that controls it. If the practitioner is NOT sound and secure in their mental, physical, and spiritual health, then Backlash and Shadow Sickness can cause even more adverse effects within the Wizard and as a result can suffer more severely.

Symptoms of Shadow Sickness

Symptoms of Shadow Sickness can vary between physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. The "virus" affects every single aspect of the being, down to their very life. The severity of these symptoms can also vary depending on certain variables. Unlike a true virus, Shadow Sickness has no "incubation period" and can flare up at any time during which the Wizard is practicing Shadow Magic. These symptoms include:

Physical scarring (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual) - one of the only symptoms that comprise of all four categories. Scars may appear on the Wizard's body that take various shapes and forms: most commonly taken after that individual's unsolved trauma. This includes old grudges, previous serious injuries that have not healed correctly, repressed memories, obsessions and delusions, etc. No two scars look the same (i.e. two different wizards who have a fear of spiders will have scars that look entirely different from the other). Depending on the severity these scars can cause physical discomfort (tingling, numbness, pain, leathery skin, decay/cellular deterioration) and can greatly impact how the Wizard looks to others to how the Wizard can move around.

Involuntary movements (physical, mental, spiritual) - the Wizard may begin suffering from accidental and spontaneous gestures and movement that is either randomized or triggered. This can include loss of coordination, disorientation, mini seizures, jerks and spasms, etc. Other than being physically affected, the Wizard is not suffering from any medical emergencies. The individual is fully conscious and aware when this happens and depending on the severity, can recover seconds after. This is one of the only symptoms where others could be harmed due to a wayward hand that comes flying out by accident. There is also a magical version of this, where involuntary spells or bursts of magic can be cast spontaneously (hence the 'spiritual' aspects of this symptom as mana comes from the soul). Usually these magical bursts are Shadow Magic and not the Wizard's primary or secondary Magic abilities. (Another involuntary trait recorded is the Wizard suddenly switching to an ancient "Shadow Language" in mid-speech.)

Hallucinations (physical, mental) - the Wizard may begin to experience things that cannot be detected by any other individual. Usually these hallucinations start out as smells or taste first, but there are reports of the Wizard hearing, sensing, and even seeing things to start out with. Contrary to popular belief not all hallucinations are violent or even turn out to be that way, some reports even describe them as pleasant. Hallucinations vary from each Wizard even with those who share the same traumas or fears. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, the Wizard can either be fully aware or completely immersed within them. Since these are only hallucinations they cannot harm the Wizard but can cause further deterioration to the mind.

Depleted energy/"Mana Loss" (physical, spiritual) - as the Shadow Sickness takes hold, eventually the Wizard will be slowly sapped of strength and magical energy. THIS IS DIFFERENT FROM IF THE WIZARD IS SKILLED IN SHADOW MAGIC. A Wizard can practice Shadow Magic and still NOT be affected by this. Since Shadow Magic "takes", Shadow Sickness does the same and gradually depletes the Wizard's energy. Like how Backlash takes health in a duel, Shadow Sickness takes your life. This is the only symptom that is constant in all cases of Shadow Sickness. Not only will the ability to cast spells be taken away, but overall physical health will suffer as well and the individual is more susceptible to regular diseases due to a compromised immune system. This symptom only appears in the very last stages of Shadow Sickness and is the last symptom of the individual experiences in their lifetime.

Tulpas (emotional, mental, spiritual) - contrasting hallucinations, Tulpas are the Wizard's visions made real. A Tulpa (from Shadow Sickness) is a physical and magical manifestation of the Wizard suffering from the Shadow "virus". Although it is born from the subconscious of another being, it is a separate entity all its own and has the ability to make decisions and have feelings and desires. However, these feelings and desires are not really of their own and reflect the Wizard's subconscious fears and threat responses. (i.e. our Azteca Tulpa in Khrysalis that formed due to unresolved survivor's guilt. Its "goal" was to destroy us and fully consume us within itself, similar to how guilt behaves in reality). Tulpas can either be created from visions, nightmares, intense and obsessive thoughts, or even previous hallucinations.

Can Shadow Sickness be reversed, or cured?

Shadow Sickness can be reversed, yes, or more commonly halted. Unless the Wizard is fully submersed in their mental and spiritual anguish ((Malistaire even though he wasn't using shadow magic; Morganthe even though that wasn't what killed her)) Shadow Sickness can be stopped. The road to recovery varies wildly from each person so there is no set "recovery time" in which you are expected to be fully healed. It is your own journey and it is ultimately your say whether or not you are better. Clinically, recovery can be sorted between these categories

HALTED: In which the Shadow Sickness is no longer infecting the individual but the symptoms may still persist. These symptoms do not get worse or better, but the Wizard's mind is clear and their soul is at peace. Wizards may either learn to live comfortably and adapt with their Halted condition or could continue to strive for partial or full recovery.

PARTIAL RECOVERY: In which the Shadow Sickness is reversed slightly or moderately. The effects are not all the way gone but are measured to be better than when the Wizard was still infected. In this state any severe symptoms the Wizard is experiencing are now moderate or slight, or less frequent. Just like in the Halted category, the Wizard is sound of mind, body, and soul.

FULL RECOVERY: In which Shadow Sickness is totally reversed and there are no more symptoms that persist. Full, 100% recovery is actually quite rare in the Spiral and a lot of scholars consider the Full Recovery to count as "70% or more reduced" - meaning the symptoms are very slight and few and far in between. Technically this is still a Partial Recovery but due to the above fact and how difficult it is to reverse Shadow Sickness, 'Full Recovery' is an umbrella term. Some individuals even claim Full Recovery even if their symptoms are moderate, because their mind and soul are no longer diseased.

ONE LAST FACT TO LEAVE OFF WITH: Not every Wizard who practices Shadow Magic suffers from Shadow Sickness, and alternatively even the most skilled Shadowmage can develop Shadow Sickness.

okay this took days. bye hope you liked this

#btw tagging some of these symptoms jic theyre triggering to some #tw seizures #tw hallucinations #lmk if i need to tag anything else #BUT YEAH THIS IS IT #i got lazy at the end but i def wanna expand on this #a few things i wanna talk about more in depth: the 'shadow language' thing and the 'mana comes from the soul' thing #BUT THIS WAS SUPER FUN TO MAKE #giving holly even MORE trauma #due to canon reasons and because i love suffering holly isnt even in the “halted” category #theyre still suffering from ongoing shadow sickness. its progressing a hell of a lot slower than others but shes def feeling it #due to ambrose's thinky veiled threat of always being watched and everyone else unintentionally-#-brushing aside holly's health the shadow sickness remains undetected #except for velma. she sees that shit #but since holly is the master of bottling things up theyre like “ahaha what virus” (throws up black blood)#holly has the scarring as the worst symptom and has a few specific scars i wanna talk about in another post #but they also suffer from hallucinations and the shadow language thing #since holly is unintentionally holding off the worst of the Sickness she doesnt have the mana depletion yet #i think i forgot like maybe one or two symptoms but im so tired ugh. this is all yall are getting for now LMAO #idk if this is even a good post. im proud of it #one symptom i forgot to mention is madness. or i think thats the end result same as depletion #its what morganthe suffered dueing the end of her life as a giant apider creature she just fully succumbed to the madness #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts

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familyofpaladins · 1 year

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THE CRACK IN THE SKY IS THE SAME AS MK'S STONE CRACKING

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #rewatched season 4 today and realized this #idk if it means anything other than it just being that mk was the one breaking open the seals on the scroll #also idk if anyone else has already noticed or pointed it out. but i just realized it #lmk #lmk season 4 #lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk mk #stone egg mk #lmk episode pitiful creatures #idk what else to tag this as

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pineappical · 6 months

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hey!! id really appreciate it if you could help out a friend of a friend of mine, anything would be really appreciated! 💛💛 (reblogs also help a ton!)

#mutual aid #mutual funds #idk what to tag this so lmk if i need to add anything else

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sierraveree-art · 11 months

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I had a big underpainting of a goat just sitting around for a while. And then my friend invited me to snag a bunch of her craft supplies since she's moving, and I ended up finding some fingerpaints. So obviously I HAD to use them are you kidding? Anyways, here's the final piece (hand for scale), a result of around four uninterrupted hours just smearing paint on a canvas with my hands like a baby. Highly recommend.

#fingerpainting #art #artists on tumblr #paint #goat #expressionism #uh idk what else to tag this with #lmk if i need to tag this with eyestrain or anything else and I'll be on it :)

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yellow-the-alien · 3 months

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whale therian tips and what not

i’ve noticed a lack of whale therian posts, so i decided to just go ahead and try my hand at making my own post about that in hopes that it’ll help someone out, or at the very least be interesting. the rest of this post is under the cut! remember that none of these things are required to be a whale therian, and they are not necessarily exclusive to whales either!

physical tips: general things to get those whale feelings

ocean colored lights to mimic the look of being underwater

weighted blankets to mimic the feeling water pressure

thick coats or hoodies to mimic blubber

for baleen whales: eat foods like shrimp, as they are similar to zooplankton, fish, and crustaceans

toothed whales: eat foods like fish or squid

experiences: personal things that i’ve experienced that you may want to try

go swimming with a few close people, or just go swimming on your own! i recommend trying to learn to swim like a whale as well

try going on longer distance trips with close people (can involve water or not) to mimic the travel part of migration

try listening to whale songs or ocean ambiance

whale documentaries!!!

other: support, connecting with animals, etc.

get a whale tracking bracelet! websites such as club ocean have bracelets that come with a qr code in order to track a real whale! the money from the purchase goes directly towards helping endangered whales as well! they also have other animals such as sea turtles, dolphins, sharks, and polar bears!

donate to organizations that help whales! i know this is not possible for everyone, but i just want to remind people that it is an option!

if possible, go whale watching! this one also would fall under experiences, but i wanted to put it here since it involves connecting with animals

spread the word about endangered whales! if you aren’t able to donate, you can still help out by telling other about endangered whales, bringing more awareness to species such as north atlantic right whales, which only have about 360 remaining individuals due to certain fisheries and past whaling. (sadly, this is my species, so i’d like to ask that if you can do anything to help them, please do so. knowing that my species is so close to disappearing from our planet is really disheartening, and i’m hoping we can stop this tragedy from happening. sorry about this emotion side note, i’m just trying to spread awareness)

#yellow alien rambles #whale therian #whalekin #whale kin #therian #idk what else to tag here #also plz lmk if i made any mistakes or missed anything!

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stolenslumber · 10 months

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devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes (preview)

Jay needs someone to pretend to be his girlfriend, and you're just the person for the job— seriously, you're almost a professional at this point, regularly charming the families of your idiot twin's friends who need your help getting their parents off their back. You have strict rules, though: (1) you'll only pretend to be someone's girlfriend on three occasions, maximum, (2) nobody is allowed to catch feelings, and (3) you get three favors in return. Too bad Jay is hellbent on breaking every last one of them.

PAIRING: park jongseong x female reader GENRE: fake dating, college au, vaguely greek life au, vaguely rich kid au, acquaintances to partners in crime to fake relationship to lovers i guess? lol, jake is your twin bc i thought it would be funny WARNINGS: swearing, (eventual) kissing and suggestive content WORD COUNT: ~2.3k (preview), final word count TBD but likely long knowing myself PUBLISH DATE: probably in the next two weeks!

“WHY DO YOU LOOK SO NICE?”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” You scoff, tossing the apple you were just about to eat at Jake’s head. Annoyingly, he catches it in mid-air, then makes a show out of polishing it with his shirt and taking a big bite out of it. “Hey, I was going to eat that, asshole.”

“Shouldn’t have thrown it at me, then.”

You roll your eyes at your twin, then go to retrieve another apple from the fruit bowl. It’s surprisingly well-stocked, given that you’re in a frat’s kitchen. Honestly, it’s surprising that there even is a fruit bowl in a frat’s kitchen, but the president of this frat runs a tight ship.

Said president appears in the doorway just then, snatching the apple from your hands as well as the one from Jake’s hands. “Guys, seriously, you have to wash these before you eat them.”

You and Jake both whine simultaneously. “Chan!”

“I already took a bite out of that, bro,” Jake complains.

“I’m starving, please have mercy,” you beg.

Chan whips his head around from where he’d begun washing the apples in the sink to fuss at you. “What? Why haven’t you eaten yet? It’s almost 9pm!”

“Which reminds me— why do you look so nice?” Jake repeats.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you sigh.

“You can just say you were pretending to be his girlfriend; we all know what you mean,” Jake snorts.

“I had a thing with Mark,” you repeat, resisting the urge to throw another apple at Jake’s head. “It was at this ballroom downtown, and of course he had nothing to wear, so I had to take him shopping first, which made us late, and then his parents wouldn’t stop talking my ear off about how I need to convince him to give up the music major, so I couldn’t touch any of the food there. Not even the foie gras torchon,” you recall mournfully. “We just got back, like, five minutes ago.”

Chan hums sympathetically— he knows how much you love foie gras torchon. “You can probably ask for an endless supply in return for your appearance at today’s thing,” he suggests, only half-joking. It absolutely sounds like the kind of thing Mark Lee would agree to, what with his ridiculously large inheritance and hapless generosity (last month, Mark lost thousands of dollars in some animal shelter-related pyramid scheme, marketed to him by none other than Haechan Lee).

You wave a hand dismissively. “Nah, I’m keeping Mark’s favor for something else.”

Jake raises an eyebrow. “What else?”

“Whatever it turns out I need in the future, dumbass. What’s it to you, anyways?”

“Just wanna make sure the poor guy doesn’t end up trapped in your snares forever, little sis. Yo, can I have that apple back?” Jake turns to Chan with characteristic puppy eyes.

“You’re only older than me by eight minutes,” you grumble, the age-old retort slipping out of you before you can help it.

“No, Jaeyun, you cannot. And don’t talk to your sister like that— oh my god, why do I sound like Taeyong,” Chan mutters, thinking about his predecessor frat-president-slash-mother-hen.

“Jeez, government name and everything.” Jake holds his hands up, relinquishing his claim to the apple.

“In fact, your sister gets to have both of these apples, after I clean and cut them up, because she is a saint for continuing to save our asses from our parents like this,” Chan lectures, unceremoniously carving out the chunk of the apple with Jake’s bite marks and tossing it into the trash bin.

“Real ones get it!” You reach out and high-five Chan.

“That is so unfair, c’mon, man!” Jake splutters. “She gets just as much out of these fake relationships— seriously, didn’t you drive her around everywhere for, like, a month after she went to that wedding with you?”

Both you and Chan shudder at the memory. “Ugh, my worst cousin and the worst guy he was ever with. They’re still married, by the way.” Chan shakes his head. “God knows why.”

“Love conquers all…?” Jake offers.

“What the hell are you talking about love for,” a new voice grumbles. Jay strolls in through the doorway, hands full with plastic bags promising wonderful things based on how your stomach reacts to the smell.

“Oh, hell yeah, chicken!” Jake cheers. “Took you long enough, bro.”

“Traffic was hell, something about a ball downtown, and— oh. Hey.” Jay stops abruptly at the sight of you, now munching on the apple slices Chan hands you, one by one.

You wave vaguely in his direction, too busy eating to respond. Jay is one of your brother’s friends who you don’t know that well, since you’ve never pretended to be his girlfriend. It’s strange that you two don’t know each other better, actually— as the social chairs of your sorority and his fraternity, respectively, you would usually have a lot to work on together. But this year has been particularly busy for you, what with your senior thesis and your various things with Jake’s frat brothers, and you had delegated most of your social chair responsibilities to your co-chair, Yunjin, who was far better suited to the social part of the job, anyways. You suspected Jay had done the same thing, since the two of you only ever texted to confirm budgets for any joint events.

“You need to have more than one-and-three-quarters of an apple for dinner,” Chan scolds you, parental instincts back in full force.

You shrug, about to turn around and rifle through the cabinets to see if you can find some peanut butter to add to your apple slices when a takeout container appears in front of you. Tired and still starving, you react rather slowly, your eyes tracing up the hand on the container to the veins of an arm belonging to none other than Jay.

“You look hungry,” is all he says, before popping the container open for you and rearranging the rest of the plastic bags on the counter. “Jake, tell the others to come down for food.”

The others means that soon, there will be an influx of hungry frat brothers in the kitchen, and you have no desire to be anywhere near that, so you mumble a quick thank you to Jay, plop the rest of the apple slices into the takeout container (against Chan’s complaints about the contamination), and move to leave the kitchen, eager to be on your way to your sorority house.

The last thing you overhear before you leave is Jay asking, “Why did your sister look so nice?”, and Jake and Chan responding in unison, “She had a thing.”

A few days later, when they’re doing work in the library, Jay asks Jake, “So how long have Mark and your sister been seeing each other?”

Jake’s pencil jerks across his graph paper, a jagged line appearing on the page at the same time that he swears. “Dude, what the fuck?”

“Dude, what the fuck,” Jay echoes flatly. “Didn’t you say she had a thing with Mark?”

Jake blinks. “Well, sure, in the same way that she’s had a thing with Chan, and Yeonjun, and Vernon, and all the others.”

Jay gapes at him. “Your sister dated all of them? And all the others?”

“What, no, she didn’t date them, she fake-dated them! Just a couple of times, mainly showing up to things with their families so their parents would leave them alone about finding a partner and all that. You know how the parents are.” Jake gestures vaguely, referring to the oddities of the world of wealth they were born into.

Jay nods slowly, understanding dawning upon him. Does he know how the parents are? Oh, does he ever. He has always had a good relationship with his own, but they had been more pushy on the whole love thing as of late, with the not-at-all subtle questions his mother asks about any special someones in his life and the unfunny jokes his dad cracks about how he’s still spry enough to help raise grandchildren. Especially unfunny, given the health scare his dad had given them all in the last year.

Jake’s voice brings him out of his veering-towards-morbid thoughts. “But seriously, bro, how is this news to you? My sister’s been doing this… Cinderella-genie thing for over two years now.”

Jay’s eyebrows furrow. “Cinderella-genie thing?”

“Yeah, I mean, she transforms our frat brothers into respectable young men with a respectable relationship, but only for three occasions, and she gets the same number of favors back.” Jake wrinkles his nose. “It sounds weird when I say it like that, and don’t get me wrong, I love to give her shit for it, but it’s all above-board stuff. Sunghoon bought her bubble tea for like, three months.”

“She fake-dated Sunghoon?”

At the mention of his name, Sunghoon pops one side of his headphones off. “What’s up?”

“You fake-dated Jake’s sister!?”

Sunghoon shushes him before responding. “Yeah, don’t you remember? It was a couple of months ago.”

Jay’s ears flush, both at how loud he had unconsciously gotten, and at the reminder that he really has been out of it for a while now. It’s not like he’s been living under a rock, but he has definitely been spending a lot more time with his parents and away from his friends ever since his dad’s health scare.

“She was great, though,” Sunghoon continues. “My mom still thinks I made the biggest mistake of my life ‘letting her go.’ But she’s also been leaving me alone about ‘finding love’ because she thinks I’m heartbroken, so yeah, Jake’s sister works wonders.”

Jake smirks. “Sim genes, man. Elite stuff.”

Sunghoon scoffs. “You wish. Didn’t I hear your mom yelling at you on the phone the other day for not having settled down yet?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me. Does she not realize what decade this is, I mean, we’re still in college—”

Jay interrupts what looks to be the beginning of a long rant from Jake, cutting him off with, “So where can I sign up?”

Jake stares blankly at him. “Sign up for what?”

“The Cinderella-genie thing.”

Sunghoon scrunches his face awkwardly. “Uh, she kind of has a waitlist, buddy.”

Jay waits for him to laugh and say he’s just kidding, but he doesn’t. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she doesn’t do the fake-dating thing for multiple people at the same time, and she’s pretty busy with all her shit, so I’m not sure how long of a queue you have ahead of you…”

“Okay, but Jake could get me ahead, right? Cut the line, or something? C’mon dude, I’m your best friend.” Jay is suddenly desperate, remembering the conversation he’d had with his mom on the phone last night, where she had dreamily recalled meeting his dad in college and delicately reminded Jay that he could have a plus-one to the Parks’ upcoming 50th wedding anniversary celebration.

Jake eyes his friend warily. “I dunno, she really doesn’t like stuff like that. Unfair advantages, I mean.”

“My parents aren’t getting any younger, Jake, and you know, with my dad last year and everything…” Jay does his best approximation of batting his eyelashes at Jake.

“Are you guilt-tripping me?”

“A little?” Jay’s smile turns a little maniacal. “For real, my parents have their 50th wedding anniversary coming up, and it would be the perfect event to bring her to so I can reassure them that things are going well in my love life.”

“Are things going anywhere in your love life?” Sunghoon’s tone is skeptical, and reasonably so.

Jay has been distant lately because of his family, but even before that he had always been known as somewhat aloof and unattainable. Devastatingly handsome, yes, with killer grades and fierce ambition, and a business empire to inherit to boot, but he is also his parents’ one and only miracle child, born after years of trying and almost giving up. Jay’s parents are older than all of his friends’ parents, and their family business has always been that— a family business. Jay has two years after graduation to learn the ropes in the business, and then he’ll be due for an MBA, and then a return to helm the business, but this timeline has recently felt more urgent than ever with his parents’ flagging health. They would never say it, but he knows the only reason they haven’t retired yet is because they don’t want to hand over control of the business to anyone but him. Jay has worked his ass off in college, trying to get there as fast as he can, as well as he can. But his parents also want him to enjoy college and find true love, and while he’s been doing pretty well with the former, the latter has been on the backburner for, well, forever. Who has time for true love, in between classes, fraternity duties, the various shenanigans his friends get up to, internships, networking, TA-ing, volunteering, being on the executive board of two clubs, and eating, sleeping, dreaming, and thinking?

So. No. Things are not going anywhere in his love life, and he confirms just as much to Sunghoon with a grunt, to which Sunghoon wheezes out his amusement.

Jake eyes Jay with pity, now. “Alright, that guilt trip was successful, but more so because you just admitted to being bitchless for so long. I’ll put in a good word to my sister for you.”

Jay perks up instantly. There is light and beauty in this world after all! “Awesome, thank you bro, you won’t regret this, I promise!”

“I wasn’t planning on it, but those are famous last words, Park.” Jake raises an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you can handle my sister?”

“Why not? She seems… nice.” Jay is slightly evasive in his answer, and truthfully, it’s because he isn’t really sure what you’re like. All your interactions to date have been cordial, almost business-like, and you and Jake are fraternal twins, so it’s not even like he’s really familiar with what you look like. He is, however, sure that you look beautiful in a ballgown, even if he only saw you in one in his frat’s kitchen.

Jake chortles outright. “No, my sister is not nice. Yeah, I’m definitely going to convince her to help you, just because I think it’ll be hysterical watching her turn you inside out. Good luck, my brother in Christ, because you’ll need it!”

#enhypen #jay #park jay #park jongseong #jay x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen fic #jay fic #uhhhh idk what else to tag here it's been so long since i wrote anything on tumblr dot com #title has absolutely nothing to do w/ the song and it barely has anything to do w/ the plot tbh i just like the way it sounds #who would've thought i'd be back on tumblr... writing fics.......... in the year 2023 #and for READER INSERTS TOO this is a new uhmmmm situation for me #tbh i'd much rather write ocs but that seems to be Not The Vibe on kpopblr so here we are #okay i know the ages of the people in this fic don't line up but shhhh just ignore it okay #i know next to nothing about skz but when i was thinking about who would make sense as a mothering frat president chan just made sense #based on my limited knowledge yknow #okay anyways! cool lmk what u think of this preview #ss.preview

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santana-fr · 2 years

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Idk if I’ve shown this before but I love this experimental style I did for a dragon I don’t have yet lol

#tw eyestrain #tw body horror #tw mouth #idk what else to tag so lmk anything else #fr #flightrising #flight rising #my art

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shallliveoninsong · 4 months

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◇ Also, related to this drabble and spoilers for the Lufou arc of hsr below (also cw for talk of injury)--

The scar at both the entry and exit wound from Cloud Piercer going through him still has jagged crack-shaped dark fragmentum corrosion that flows out from where the skin was pierced. Parts of it glow yellow and gold in dim light, just like corrosion found in the environment.

After his recovery, the healers of the alchemy commission and especially Bailu managed to get the corrosion down to only spreading out several inches from the injury site but they weren't able to get rid of it completely. It took until two months after the battle with Phantylia for the wound and corrosion to slip Jing Yuan's mind throughout daily life. Up until then both kept creating some level of pain and/or discomfort.

He's slightly concerned that the marks still linger, but it can't be an issue if he doesn't feel it any longer, right?

#calculated not lazy; mostly [jing yuan]#tampering with forbidden knowledge [lore]#injury cw #scars cw #(idk what else to tag but lmk if anyone needs anything)

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dandyshucks · 4 months

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going to cry because i am worried i won't finish all the crochet gifts in time :''")

#okay wait time to decide on a vent tag sjdkskl UHHHHH #can i just... tag it with ... ''vent //'' or is that annoying to add to a the tumblr filtering system fhdkdl #thats how old school tumblr cw/tw tagging worked fjdkl they'd just put slashes in so thats what im used to #vent //#we'll go with that ig? lmk if that doesnt work for anybody for any reason and u want smth else and I'll accomodate!!!#okay. um. anyways yeah idk fjdkdl i have been crocheting pretty much all day? i havent done anything else other than eat meals fjdksl #just... crocheting. my wrist hurts sm fjfkdl #i would still be crocheting but after messing up three times on this wing and frogging it all the way back i gave uo #up*#decided to just call it a night bc damn thats frustrating! idk what i was doing wrong but i kept ending up w the wrong amount of stitches!!#i think theres a possibility i can finish everything but im rly not sure fhdkdl tomorrow is already the 17th #im just. afraid fhdkdl i rly want this to work out !!! agh!!#I cant tell if my current chest pain is from anxiety or from medication (which i take for heart pounding from anxiety) wearing off djdkdl #ough. uncomfortable. I'll go draw and hopefully i can calm down bc im just sbdhdkl so afraid rn #IT ALSO DOESNT HELP that im the only one besides Kam in the system who knows how to crochet well fsbdhdkl #so the others cannot take over bc they cannot crochet either at all or as fast as i can :') i am stuck! in front!! AGGHH #i want a break man djsksl this season is so bad for me mentally fbjfdkl but by god i am getting thru it #okay off to go draw now fhdksl i have several ideas for drawing yay

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midweastindigo · 1 year

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part three of what i've dubbed evan enchanted bc i have no actual brain it's just bees in there

part one

part two

it appears that that particular order has lasting effects.

buck is nine days into a suit he filed against the lafd and the city of los angeles and he's trying to jump from his balcony, but every time he so much as touches the ledge, his chest tightens as if disobeying a direct order. a feeling so familiar to him that it's become like a sixth sense; a second skin. eddie's words echo through his head. not the demand to live, no. the other thing.

'you're exhausting.'

in all his rage, not once did he slip up. not once did eddie angrily make buck do something like so many others have before him.

it makes the pain of losing him hurt more. because that's what happened. he lost eddie. in his selfish actions, out of fear of losing everyone, he lost the most important person. people, really, because losing eddie means losing christopher.

'you're exhausting.'

eddie can't lie. and if there's one truth buck's infinitely more familiar with than eddie, it's that he's exhausting. he knows, okay? he gets it.

but why does he have to make himself smaller in order to fit? why can't everyone else just make a little bit more room for once? maybe that's why they think him selfish. it's always about buck.

so, he's sitting on his balcony. not jumping. because apparently, an order from months ago is preventing him from dying, and he's pissed off about it. he can't even die for himself. someone commanded him not to.

and they call him selfish.

he doesn't jump. can't jump. can't swallow more that two pain killers for his leg when it's time. can't pick up any sharp utensils without shaking. he decides to drop the lawsuit; it's the only thing it seems he can take control of right now. has to beg maddie to accompany him because the lawyer will certainly say something that will keep buck from pulling out.

'you're not dropping this.'

'i'm not...dropping this...?' buck looks to his sister, panicked. she takes a deep breath for him to follow. nods slightly. buck mimics her actions, clears his throat and stands.

'i am dropping the lawsuit. i never wanted the city's money. i want nothing to do with any of this anymore. all i wanted was my job and now i've lost everything.' he walks away before the lawyer can speak again. maddie hurriedly follows him out.

'buck, hey. i don't think you've lost everything. i'm sorry i took chim's side. there shouldn't be sides, but you're my brother, and i should have -'

'it's okay. i was just being selfish.'

'no, you weren't. if bobby really did keep you from going back and then lied about it, you had every right to be angry. i think suing the city was a little far, but,' she laughs. buck finds himself chuckling along with her.

'oh, one hundred percent too far!'

they're climbing into buck's jeep when he asks it.

'do you think they'll ever forgive me?'

'i do. it's what family - real family - does, evan. we forgive each other. you've found a real family with them. we both have, in a way. they'll move on because they love you. the real question is, are you going to be able to forgive yourself?'

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #maddie buckley #buddie fic #911 fic #firefam #buckley siblings #evan enchanted #jfc its happening ig #911 fox #911 abc #911blr #tw: sui ideation #tw: sucidal thoughts #tw: sucidal ideation #these popped up pls lmk if you want this tagged as anything else #idk how to tag with the new fucked up shit they did #what is nonsense how are you supposed to tag

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