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bellaxgiornata · 11 months

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All These Years [Part 4: "All the Broken Pieces"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You met Matthew Murdock unexpectedly at Columbia University and you couldn't deny that there was an instant attraction–for you. But for Matt, you became as close of a friend to him as Foggy did. As the years pass by, your feelings only grow for your best friend, but all you can do is watch as he dates and sleeps with every other woman on campus and eventually in New York City but you.

Warnings/tags: 18+ for this series; contains emotional hurt with no comfort until the final installments, angst, pining, friends to lovers, slowburn, and eventually smut

Word Count: 4.4k

a/n: Our next update is finally here! This one features a very sad Matty and more pining. Hope you're enjoying the pain still because there's more to go! You can find the entire list of installments for this series here. Our next update will be "Graduation" I believe and it should be the end of our college pining days (but the start of more pining post-college).

Tag list: @theetherealbloom @acharliecoxedfan @rotscinema @magnumstyles @roseallisonparker @readerhead @paracosmic-murdock @v4leoftears @why-always-me-gosh-please @redbircl @keepingitlokiii @yarrystyleeza @ofmusesandsecrets (for some reason tumblr isn't letting me tag you, friend!)

You were currently slumped over your laptop on your bed focused on your assignment. You’d wanted to get a headstart on it, grateful that for once your roommate was going to be at her boyfriend’s dorm for the entire night and not yours–a rare occurrence on a Saturday night. So rare you’d even canceled your Saturday night plans with Foggy for the first time ever earlier today because of it. Though he’d been understanding and almost excited because he’d later told you that he’d scored a date with Marci for the evening. You were happy for him, looking forward to grabbing coffee tomorrow morning to hear how the date had gone.

Though there was a part of you that felt a bit lonely just sitting here on your bed working on homework all by yourself on a Saturday night. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting way to spend an evening in college, but it wasn’t like you had too many others to spend your time with. Sure, you had another group of friends you'd made from classes that you occasionally spent time with when you weren't with Foggy and Matt pre-Elektra. But really, deep down, there was still only one person you wished you could be with tonight. But that was never going to happen.

Matt was still with Elektra. It had been just over three weeks since you and Foggy had accidentally walked in on them having sex and Matt had said some hurtful things before you’d said some in return. You’d barely seen him since, which didn’t really surprise you. The one time you had run into him briefly you'd been with Foggy. Matt had tried to apologize to you again for what he'd done and said. In return you'd offered him a clipped apology as well. It had seemed like he'd wanted to say more, but of course Elektra had called and interrupted. And that had been that. You had tried not to think too much about it since, busying yourself with schoolwork. It had gotten to be far too painful for you to be around Matt.

With a huff you glanced down, noticing the time on your laptop and realizing it was close to when Foggy was going on that date with Marci. You picked up your phone and flipped it open before taking a moment to scroll through your text messages until you found Foggy's name. You pulled up a new text and began typing up a message.

6:42PM: Hey Fog, good luck on your date! I want the details tomorrow!

Closing your phone, you set it back on the bed beside you as you focused on your assignment again. It was barely a minute later before the sound of your phone vibrating met your ears and interrupted your focus, though. Absently you reached out, picking it up and flipping it open to read Foggy's text.

FOGGY 6:43PM: Might have to cancel on her :(

You frowned, your eyes narrowing as you reread the message. Why would he need to cancel on her? He had been talking about Marci nonstop for weeks now. You knew how excited he had been for this date. Fingers flying across the little keypad, you typed up a message.

6:43PM: Why do you need to cancel?? You've been dying for a date with her!

Impatiently you stared down at your phone, waiting for his response to come through. What had happened to make him want to cancel his plans?

FOGGY 6:44PM: Matt and Elektra broke up. He’s a mess. Doesn’t feel right leaving him here alone

Your eyes went wide as you read the text over and over a handful of times, your brain trying to process the information. Matt and Elektra had broken up? Just now? How? Why? And who had actually been the one to end the relationship?

So many questions began racing through your mind. Your body felt like it didn’t know how to properly react. All of your emotions of excitement and relief mixed with despair and heartache for Matt were quickly swirling in your stomach making you want to grab your trash can and vomit. You’d hated Elektra, and you had certainly hated who Matt had become when he’d been with her, but at the same time, the thought of Matt a heartbroken mess in his dorm room had your own heart twisting and writhing in your chest. He didn’t deserve that pain even though both you and Foggy had known the day was coming when things would end.

And apparently that day was today.

Biting your lip, you sat on your bed suddenly feeling torn. Part of you wanted to help Foggy and Matt by offering to stay with Matt. That way Foggy could have his date and you’d be able to comfort your friend. Because you cared about Matt despite how shitty things had been between the pair of you over the past few weeks–really, the past few months. Though you knew if he really needed you, you’d always be there.

But the other part of you was hesitant to offer up your comfort to Matt. You had very strong feelings for Matt still, feelings that he had no idea about. And the thought of sitting with him and trying to pick up all those shattered pieces of his heart that another woman had smashed to bits sounded like absolute torture. Especially because you desperately wished he would entrust you with that very same heart. And you knew you’d happily treat it with so much love and respect if only he’d just want you like that in return. Never in a million years would you ever want to break it.

But you were only his friend.

Eyes dropping back down to Foggy’s text, your thumbs hovered over the keypad. Exhaling a long breath, you knew exactly what you were going to do. Truthfully you didn’t even have to think about it. As pathetic as maybe that made you seem, you loved Matt. And if he was hurting, you’d always be there.

6:48PM: I can stay with him, Fog. You go enjoy your date.

Saving your progress on your laptop, you began picking up the mess of scattered books and papers on your bed. Your phone vibrated along your sheets when you had begun to turn off your laptop. Reaching over, you grabbed it and spotted the new text from Foggy.

FOGGY 6:50PM: No, I can’t ask you to do that! You crazy??? I know how you feel about him still!!

Setting your jaw firm, you typed up one final response to Foggy.

6:50PM: DON’T cancel your plans. OMW over now.

Gathering up a few of your things, you tossed them into your backpack. You weren’t sure how late you’d be staying at Matt and Foggy’s dorm, but if Matt wanted to wallow silently then at least you’d be able to finish your work while you kept him company. You slipped your phone into your pocket before tossing your backpack onto your back and then you exited your dorm.

It took you about ten minutes to leave your residence hall and make your way to Matt and Foggy’s before riding the elevator up to their floor. But the closer you got to their dorm room, the more nervous you felt yourself becoming. You weren’t entirely sure what to expect when Foggy had said he was a mess, and you weren’t entirely sure how the sight of it was going to make you feel. Nevertheless, you forced yourself to continue around the corner until you’d made your way down the hall and stopped in front of their room. You took a single, shaky breath in before you raised a fist and knocked twice.

The door swung open a few moments later to reveal Foggy with his long hair combed neatly. He’d even managed to throw on a clean, button up dress shirt that you weren’t aware he’d even owned. You’d never seen him wear anything other than tee-shirts, most of which displayed some sort of band logo on them. You shot him a small smile, one he awkwardly returned.

“You cleaned up well,” you told him.

“Thanks,” he said. “You uh, you sure about this?”

You nodded, forcing a wider smile onto your face. “Yeah. Matt’s going through a hard time and he’s my friend. I want to be here for him,” you answered.

The look Foggy shot you when you’d called Matt your ‘friend’ had not gone unnoticed, but you refused to acknowledge it. Though Foggy eventually stepped aside, gesturing you into their dorm with a wave of his hand.

You stepped inside and saw Matt curled up over the sheets of his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest and his back facing the door. His shoulders were drawn up tight towards his neck, his head visibly tucked into his chest as well. Swallowing hard, you felt tears stinging at your eyes instantly. You were certain your heart broke in that moment. He looked so small .

“So I uh, I actually need to head over to Marci’s dorm soon,” Foggy said awkwardly, breaking the silence.

Your attention returned to Foggy and you saw the way his face fell at the sight of yours. He opened his mouth, most likely about to tell you he wasn’t going to go on the date, but you quickly nodded at him.

“Yeah, go on,” you told him. “Don’t be late. Doubt she’d like to be kept waiting.”

“You’re…sure?” he asked hesitantly.

Sniffling lightly, you nodded again. “Yeah, go on,” you replied. “Go enjoy your night.”

Foggy mouthed a ‘thank you’ before he grabbed a jacket and left. And then you were suddenly alone with Matt who had remained silent and motionless on his bed. Nervously chewing your bottom lip, you made your way over to Foggy’s bed and slipped off your backpack, setting it down. Turning towards Matt’s bed, you awkwardly tugged the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your hands.

“Hey, Matty,” you greeted softly.

He whispered your name in greeting back, his voice cracking as he did. Somehow your heart fell even further in your chest at the sound.

“Do you–” you paused, wincing at how dumb this sounded even to you, “–want to talk about what happened?”

“No,” he answered.

Your tongue darted out, nervously wetting your lips as you nodded. Slowly you sunk down onto the end of Foggy’s mattress, awkwardly crossing your arms over your chest. Your eyes dropped down to your dirty shoes.

“I loved her,” Matt whispered.

Instantly your eyes snapped shut at those three words spoken so heart wrenchingly softly in the room. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart giving an awkward jolt in response. God, this was going to be more painful than you’d anticipated.

“I know,” you replied just as quietly.

“But it wasn’t enough,” he said.

Your arms tightened even further around your chest as if they could keep your heart in place. “What happened?” you asked.

“She wanted me to do something that I–I couldn’t do,” he confessed. “So she just…left me. Without a word.”

Anger clawed at your chest, rage desperately wanting to break free and lash out at Elektra. What could she have possibly wanted Matt to do that he couldn’t? And how did that justify leaving him without a word? How utterly heartless was Elektra?

“You deserved better,” you stated, fighting to contain that seething anger inside of you. “No one should make you do something you don’t want to do. And they certainly shouldn’t punish you for it.” Your teeth grit together, hands curling into fists inside of the sleeves of your sweatshirt. “You deserved better , Matt,” you repeated firmly.

“But I loved her,” he whispered.

Sighing heavily, you shook your head. “Maybe–maybe you did, Matt,” you began, “but I’m not so sure it was reciprocated. Certainly not in the way it should have been.”

You braced yourself for the verbal lashing sure to come your way. For the raging, protective side of Matt that always appeared to defend Elektra. The one that had made you cry not too long ago.

Instead, Matt sniffled loudly, somehow further shrinking into himself on the bed. A tear managed to slip out of your watery eye and you quickly wiped it away with your sweatshirt sleeve.

“You’re right,” he admitted. “You and Foggy were both right. I'm sorry I was–was such a shitty friend."

Shoulders dropping at his apology, you felt your expression softening as you watched him on the bed. His head slowly rose from the pillow and turned towards you, his eyes landing on you on the end of Foggy’s bed as if he somehow knew you were sitting right there. You could clearly see the blotchy redness on his cheeks and the glistening tracks of his tear streaks. His face was pinched tight, his mouth twisted into a deep frown.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "You and Foggy deserved better."

Your gaze dropped down again, your hands fidgeting inside of your sweatshirt sleeves. "At least you see that now," you mumbled.

The sound of Matt shifting along the mattress caught your attention and you looked back up. He was pulling himself into a sitting position, resting his back against the headboard of the bed. He looked broken sitting there with his pain written clear across his face like that. The sight alone gutted you. You truly hated Elektra for whatever the hell it was she had done to him.

“Everyone always leaves me,” he whispered.

Shaking your head firmly, you pointed out, “Foggy and I are still here.”

“Yeah, but you–you left me for a bit, too,” he replied. “And I don’t blame you. I was an ass. But still–you left.”

Your face fell instantly at his words. It felt like he’d ripped your heart right out of your chest and threw it on the ground.

“I didn’t leave you, Matt,” you told him. “I’ve always been right here. I still am. I’m–” you sucked in a sharp breath, “–your friend.” The word came out of your mouth like broken glass, cutting you up from the inside out as you said it. “And I’ll always be here for you.”

His mouth pulled upwards in a sad, disheartened smile. Even from the end of Foggy’s bed you could spot the tears shining in his eyes. The moment one of them slipped out, you were pushing yourself off of the bed and making your way over towards him.

“Scoot over, Matty,” you ordered.

He didn’t hesitate; Matt immediately began sliding towards the edge of his bed and making room for you. You climbed up onto the mattress beside him, resting your back along the headboard, too. The entire right sight of you was pressed up against the entire left side of him, from your shoulders all the way down to your legs. It was the closest the pair of you had ever really been–certainly the closest to cuddling and crossing the border of friendship that you’d ever been with him.

You couldn’t fight the urge to lean in a little more into his side. Seconds later you felt Matt pressing further back against you, and then very gradually you felt him slowly come to rest his head along your shoulder. A smile slipped across your lips as you cautiously tested the boundaries, lowering your head to gingerly rest against the top of his.

“Thanks for still being here,” Matt whispered.

“I’ll always be here, Matt,” you repeated softly.

He nuzzled his head further along your shoulder and your eyelids fluttered closed. Cuddling–you were cuddling with Matt. And sure, it was strictly platonic, especially because he was literally heartbroken–you weren’t going to lie to yourself about that . But that didn’t mean you weren’t enjoying every goddamn second of having Matt to yourself like this. Of having him right there for the first time ever.

“I’ll always be here, too,” he murmured, his voice a deep rumble.

The sound of a door softly closing faintly registered in your ears, your nose scrunching at the sound. You stirred slowly awake, eyelids gently raising. But then you quickly squinted, the light of the room bright in your eyes. It took you a moment to adjust to it, but when you did, you spotted Foggy standing at the foot of your bed with wide eyes. Your own narrowed back at him, wondering what he was doing in a rumpled button down in your dorm room.

But then you noticed the weight on your shoulder and your eyes grew wide. Gaze swiftly dropping down, you spotted Matt’s unmistakeable leg still pressed up against yours. Very carefully you withdrew your head from atop his, your eyes still wide. The both of you must have fallen asleep like this last night shortly after you’d shown up. Apparently you weren’t the only one who’d been comfortable enough to stay asleep the entire night.

“Oh my God ,” Foggy whispered roughly, your attention quickly shifting to him. “Did something finally happen?”

“What? No!” you whispered back, barely shaking your head. “No! He’s literally broken up over his ex, Fog. How could you even think that?”

“Because of exhibit A!” he harshly shot back, waving a hand frantically at Matt still asleep on your shoulder.

“We just–just fell asleep,” you told him.

Your focus dropped down to Matt’s sleeping face and a soft smile formed along your lips. He looked peaceful lying along your shoulder, not a crease of worry or a single tear anywhere on his face. His lips were ever so slightly parted and you could hear the faint, even breaths as he exhaled. What you wouldn’t give for this to be a nightly occurrence. Or to be able to gently card your fingers through his hair and place a soft kiss to his temple. For him to wake up and glance in your direction, his eyes creased from a warm smile on his own mouth as he whispered ‘good morning’ to you.

What you wouldn’t give for Matt to say he loved you .

“So then what did happen?” Foggy pressed.

“He told me a little about the break up,” you answered.

“He did?” Foggy asked with a gasp. “He wouldn’t say a word to me about it.”

Your attention was still on Matt’s sleeping face as you spoke. “He didn’t tell me much,” you admitted. “But he told me enough. And she–she definitely broke his heart, Fog.”

“I know,” he said, tone softer than it had been. “How’re you doing?”

Your head darted in Foggy’s direction at the question instantly. “What?” you asked.

“After last night,” he clarified. “How’re you doing?”

“I’m–I’m fine,” you told him.

Foggy’s eyes narrowed suspiciously at you. Not wanting to talk about that right now, especially not with Matt asleep on your shoulder, you quickly changed the subject.

“How was your night?” you asked him pointedly, waving your left hand at him. “I see you’re getting back early in the morning. Someone doing the walk of shame?”

A bright smile quickly spread across Foggy’s face, the warmth of it radiating easily around the entire room. “I wouldn’t call it a walk of shame. More like a…walk of satisfaction. Success. Triumph!”

You rolled your eyes. “So you got laid, did you?” you teased.

“Yes,” he answered with that beaming smile. “Yes, I did.”

You laughed lightly, shaking your head. “Good for you, Fog,” you said.

A soft groan came from beside you and your smile quickly fell. Matt began to stir against you, slowly lifting his head from your shoulder.

“Morning buddy!” Foggy called out.

“Ugh, morning, Fog,” Matt grumbled, his voice a bit hoarse.

A sheepish smile crossed your lips as you glanced at him beside you. “Morning, Matty,” you greeted him shyly.

He froze immediately, his head tilting to one side. “Did I–did I accidentally fall asleep on you last night?” he asked.

“Uh, yeah,” you answered awkwardly. “But I guess I fell asleep on you, too. So…I guess that makes us even?”

His lips curled up slightly at the corners, his expression a little brighter than when you’d first shown up last night. The sight alone warmed you.

“So who wants to hit up the dining hall for breakfast?” Foggy asked enthusiastically. “I could go for all of the bacon and eggs. Like literally all of it.”

“Your night went well, I take it?” Matt asked, voice still rough from sleep as his attention turned towards Fog.

“Yes it did my friend,” Foggy replied excitedly. “So who’s hungry?”

You shrugged a shoulder. It was Sunday morning, not like you had a class to get to or anything. And you did need breakfast.

“Sure,” you said. “I could certainly go for some eggs and orange juice. Maybe some coffee after because you owe me details about your date, Nelson.”

“Oh, I don’t think you want to ask him for details,” Matt cut in quickly, shaking his head. “You’re not going to want the details.”

“Why not?” you asked him.

Both of Matt’s brows jumped up high onto his forehead at your question, a small grin forming on his mouth.

He was so damn beautiful it physically hurt.

Quickly snapping out of your thoughts, you pulled a face and lightly slapped Matt’s arm. “Gross, I don’t mean details about the sex! I want to know about the date !”

“With Fog, they go hand in hand,” Matt told you.

“So what about you, Matt?” Foggy asked from across the room. “You want to grab breakfast with us?”

You slid off of Matt’s bed, readjusting your sweatshirt and trying to comb your fingers through your hair. It looked like Matt was thinking, his eyes landing somewhere near you at the side of his bed. A few moments later he nodded slowly.

“Yeah,” he answered softly. “Yeah, I’ll come with.”

“Great!” Foggy shouted. “It’ll be just like old times again! The three amigos!”

“Not if you don’t stop being so chipper,” you shot back. “It’s way too early in the morning for that level of excitement.”

“I second that,” Matt said, slowly scooting himself across the bed towards you.

You watched as he rose to his feet next to you, fighting to keep your hands to yourself. The urge to reach up and draw him into a hug, hold him close to you yet again, was stronger than you'd ever felt before. You assumed it was because you'd now knew what it felt like to fall asleep cuddled up to Matt all night. And it seemed that was going to make things even more difficult for you now.

"Alright, well, I'm starving so let's go before the dining hall gets busy," Foggy said brightly, clapping his hands together. "Today is going to be a beautiful day, I can feel it!"

You huffed out a laugh, watching as Foggy exited the dorm. He was definitely more awake than usual.

"You uh, mind handing me my cane?" Matt asked. "Think it's on the nightstand."

"Oh, yeah," you answered quickly.

You turned, grabbing his cane from his nightstand. Turning back towards him, you placed it into his outstretched hand. He muttered a soft 'thanks' as he began to unfold it, your eyes watching the deft movements of his hands as he did.

"Can I bother you for one more thing?" he asked as he worked.

Your gaze slowly drew up to his face, pausing on his own eyes. He was looking somewhere near your chin, the weight of his sightless stare raising the hair along your arms. You could still see the hurt and pain plain as day in his hazel eyes despite the way his mouth was gently curled up at the corners this morning. He was still grieving Elektra. You weren't stupid enough to think otherwise even if he wasn't curled in a ball crying in his bed right now.

You'd also be lying if you said you didn't wish you could mend all the broken pieces of his heart for him. Fix it back up and make it better than new with the love you had for him burning so hot inside of you. You just wanted to reach up and kiss him. You wanted to find the courage and the words to express how much he meant to you and how he deserved the world.

You just wanted him.

"Yeah," you breathed out.

"Can you hand me my glasses?" he asked. "Don't really feel like being stared at today."

Blinking hard a few times, you pulled yourself out of your thoughts. Clearing your throat, you nodded as you forced a smile onto your face.

"Yeah, uhm, let me find them," you answered.

"Probably also on the nightstand," he offered softly.

"Right, yeah," you mumbled.

Swallowing hard, you turned back to the nightstand. Tears were pricking at your eyes and clouding your vision for a moment, but then you spotted the dark frames and picked them up. You handed them to Matt's outstretched hand and watched as he slipped them on. He shot you a little smile afterwards, one that had your heart squirming.

"Thanks," he murmured. "And uh, thanks for staying with me last night. It–it meant a lot."

You nodded, glad he couldn't see the watery smile on your face as you did. "Of course," you croaked out. Pressing your lips together, you tried to control your emotions. "That's–that's what friends do."

You cleared your throat roughly again when Matt’s head tilted curiously to the side, his dark brows pulling together on his forehead.

"We should probably go before Foggy comes back and yells at us," you said quickly.

"He's probably already forgotten about us," Matt joked.

You laughed lightly, wiping a sleeve across your damp eyes. "Probably right," you agreed.

"You–you mind guiding me?" Matt asked hesitantly.

Your gaze dropped down to his hand hovering in the air between you both. A small smile returned to your face at how close this almost felt to how things were before Elektra had fucked everything up.

"I don't mind at all, Matty," you answered.

As you reached out and drew his hand to your arm, you couldn't help but notice how tight he gripped it this time. Something about the way he held onto you felt…different. Almost as if he needed you.

But you shoved that absurd thought aside as quickly as it had come before leading the pair of you towards the dining hall.

#matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock angst #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x fem reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock series #matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock

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eetherealgoddess · 3 months

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ꨄClose Quartersꨄ

Oneshot - Yandere College Au

❦When delinquents have a little crush on Kazutora’s roommate❦

Sano Manjiro, Hanemiya Kazutora, Sanzu Haruchiyo, Haitani Brothers x Reader

Not fully proofread!

MY TR FANDOM WORKS ARE ONLY ON TUMBLR, AO3, AND WATTPAD UNDER EETHEREALGODDESS! REPORT IF YOU SEE IT POSTED UNDER ANYONE ELSE BUT ME!!!

Japanese Language is Red

I apologize if I get any Japanese etiquette or culture wrong, I literally have to research the culture for some of my fandom stories so if anything is wrong, please excuse my ignorance.

Notice:

✩Y/n is 18+. I picture him as a black male but you can see him however.

✩Some parts of the story may not be realistic or factual. After all, this is a work of fiction.

✩Although it's a dark 'romance,' I do not condone any of the behavior displayed.

✩Dark content such as: gore, violence, triggering topics, graphic scenes, vulgar language, explicit sexual content, etc.

✩There will be scenes that involve non con and/ or dubcon so don’t read if that makes you uncomfortable

✩That being said, this story is for 18+ only.

Enjoy!

Close Quarters

“Damnit!”

Laughter filled the room as the loud clicks of thumbs hitting the buttons sporadically on the controllers echo amongst the shots ringing on the television. A hand drops the controller before the culprit stands from the floor.

“Alright, man. I’m done.”

“Aw, don’t be such a sore loser, Y/n.” The roommate with the tiger tattoo taunts, chuckling as he sets his own controller down.

“Whatever, Kazu. I know you’re cheating, anyway.” He responds, smiling as he walks behind the counter to grab a water bottle.

“Someone’s bitter.” He responds as he grabs the bong sitting beside him, lighting the remaining flower in the bowl. Y/n walks to the couch and sits with his ankle resting on his leg.

“Shut up. Anyway, can I borrow your laptop? I left mine at Mikey’s dorm.” Y/n explains, sipping his water before closing it and setting it on the coffee table. After finishing the bowl, he hands it to Y/n as he gets up from his seat.

“Yeah, I’m going to the Haitani’s so I’ll tell Mikey to bring it there.” He says as he walks to his bedroom.

Y/n sets the bong on the table and swipes through social media until Kazutora brings him the silver device. His earrings jingle as he walks to the front door, opening it and giving a small wave before he shuts the door behind him.

Opening his laptop, Y/n goes to the search engine and types their university’s assignment website. A few hours pass and he completes two discussion boards and a five page paper. Out of boredom he roams his roommate’s laptop until he finds his messages app. He finds quite a few chats though two stuck out to him. One is the chat they’re all in considering Kazutora introduced them all, and the most recent one is the group chat not including him.

Of course, they’re closer so it would make sense that they have their own group chat, though Y/n’s anxiety caused him to come up with scenarios where they might talk crap about him so he decides to open the chat excluding him. He scrolls just enough to see the most recent messages.

mikey: wat a pain

we shud do somthin

me: yeh? like wat hes straight

rin: u dk that

ran: hes dl theres no way hes not

sanzu: his gf

rin: guys do tht all the tjme

me: theh call evry njgbt which is annoying af

sanzu: could be bi

Y/n eyes the chat in confusion as to who they could be talking about. He scrolls up to see more of the conversation for context until his phone buzzes repeatedly. Viewing the caller id, he brings it to his ear after pressing the answer button.

“Hey babe.” Y/n says, backing out of the app and closing the laptop.

“Hey, how’s your day?” Her sweet voice says from the other end.

While they converse, his phone buzzes once more, causing him to pull it down and set it to the speaker.

Kazu: smoke n drink? come over

Considering he’s finished with his assignments, he shrugs as he takes his phone with him to grab his stuff. Considering the dorm is near, he decides to walk as he talks to his girlfriend. When he makes it to their door, they tell each other ‘bye,’ before ending the line.

When he walks in, he shuts the door and walks past the empty living room to Ran’s bedroom. Walking in, the guys are spread out, Sanzu working on his laptop with his back leaning on the headboard. The oldest Haitani laying beside him as he smokes a joint, Mikey sits on a bean bag chair with a controller in hand as well as Rin who sits on the floor in front of the bed. Kazutora has his feet on the desk as he leans back in the chair.

He’s greeted as he’s handed a bottle filled with the alcoholic beverage by the short blonde. Sitting beside Rin, he watches the tv as their characters run across the screen shooting enemies. They all converse as normal ‘homies’ do, playing their game as they switch who gets a turn with the controllers, along with drinking and smoking.

“I’m sick of beer. Someone make a real drink.” Mikey, tired of the bitter taste, suggests.

“Don’t be a baby, drink it straight.” Rin taunts.

“Aren’t you an alcoholic?” Mikey gives him a bored look. The youngest Haitani laughs at his response.

“Maybe so.”

“Alright, ladies. We’re gonna fix the drinks. Come on, Sanzu.” Ran says as they both get up from the bed, heading to the kitchen.

“What are they making?” Y/n asks in curiosity.

“Something good. It’ll definitely fuck us up.” Kazutora smirks.

A few minutes pass as they continue playing their game with conversation. Finally, Ran and Sanzu walk in with cups filled with a reddish purple liquid, handing it to their friends as they sit back where they were. An hour passes and by the time everyone is done with their drinks, they’re all giddy as they become less sober unlike Y/n whose head is leaned back against the bed in a deep slumber.

“Wow, he’s really knocked out.” Rin says as he attempts to wake him up by shaking him.

Mikey crawls over to the sleeping figure, smacks his face a few times, to no avail.

“Damn.” Kazutora says. “What did you put in his drink?”

“Something good.” Sanzu says as Ran stands up to walk towards the limp body.

“I’ve got an idea.” He says, picking him up before walking over and placing him on the bed.

“He’s not gonna wake up and if he does, he probably won’t remember anything.”

“What are you getting at, Haitani?” Kazutora asks with his arms crossed.

The purple eyed man proceeds to remove Y/n’s shirt, slightly looking back as he side eyes Kazutora.

“What do you think, Hanemiya?” He smirks before undoing Y/n’s pants and tossing them to the side.

“Wait, so we’re gonn-!”

“I know what you’re thinking and it’s not like that. We all love him, right?” Sanzu says as he takes a sip of his own spiked drink. “Then what’s wrong with showing it however we want?”

“As far as I’m concerned, I can do whatever I want with what’s mine.” Ran smiles as he eyes the limp bulge in Y/n’s underwear. The rest of the friends hop up from their seats as they walk to the bed, hovering over as they caress his body.

“You’re still sick. Move.” Kazutora says as he positions himself to sit behind Y/n as the back of his head lays on his shoulder. He moves his hands to his hips as he squeezes.

“And you’re not?” Ran laughs.

He ignores him, slowly placing his lips on Y/n’s neck as he rubs his sides.

“Honestly, this seems like a special moment.” Rin says as he grabs his phone, pulling up the camera app and setting it to record.

“Hey, what the hell?” Kazutora questions. Ran puts his finger to his mouth.

“It’s alright. Memories, you know.” He pulls out his own phone as he moves back to get a better angle.

Mikey eyes Y/n for a moment before pulling his underwear down. He throws them to the side as he leans in, hazy eyes as he stares at the limp cock. Sanzu positions himself next to the other blonde as he spits in his hand, reaching over and wrapping his hand around the muscle.

Kazutora continues his kissing which turns into licks and the licks turn into sucking his neck, hands moving to his nipples as he rolls and pinches them. Y/n’s cock twitches as the blood rushes slowly.

“So beautiful.” He whispers against his skin as he looks down at his rising length. His own hard cock rubs against Y/n’s lower back, precum leaking through his briefs.

Sanzu lowers himself as his lips close around the head of Y/n’s penis. Sucking the precum from his urethra, he uses his tongue to swirl around the mushroom top. Y/n’s hip twitches as his head slightly moves, still in a slumber as they eye him cautiously. Sanzu continues until he fits the whole girth into his mouth, the head hitting his throat as his eyes close, moaning from the stretch.

Everyone can feel their own pants tightening at the view, especially with the way Y/n twitches from the touches. Kazutora unclips his own pants, moving to where he could pull them completely off. Rin gets closer, his phone’s camera facing his hand that moves up to play with Y/n’s nipple. Ran focuses his camera on Sanzu as he bobs his head.

Y/n’s leg moves as his cock completely hardens. He releases a small grunt as his hips twitch once more. When Sanzu releases, he looks at Mikey expectantly, who answers by wrapping his hand around the tense muscle and placing his lips around the head, easing down to fit it in the back of his throat, no gag reflex detected.

“Good?” The blue eyed man questions.

“Mhm.” Mikey moans as he bobs his head.

Completely aroused by the display, Kazutora opens Ran’s nightstand drawer, finding the lube he sets it on the top. He pulls down his briefs and throws them to the side. Using the lube, he covers his dick with the liquid.

“Whatcha doin there, Kazu?” Ran taunts.

“Shut up. I’m only putting the tip in.”

“Yeah, sure.” Rin rolls his eyes.

Kazutora grips Y/n’s thighs as he pulls the legs back, leaning his own body back to position the head of his cock comfortably at the sleeping man’s entrance. Sanzu and Mikey take it upon themselves to lick and suck his cock together.

Kazutora breathes out as his cock enters the tight hole slowly. The Haitani brothers watch as Y/n’s nose scrunches. His cock throbs as his head falls back.

“Fuck.” He whispers to himself, trying all his might to not fully shove it in.

“Come on, Kazu. Take what’s yours.” Ran says with his signature smile, teeth showing as his arousal takes over.

“Yeah, you might as well. You’re already in there.” Rin continued.

“Fuck I’m sorry, baby.” He whispers against Y/n’s ear before shoving himself deep inside of Y/n’s ass. One of his hands reaches to hold his neck as the other arm wraps around his waist. He grinds his cock in and out before he accelerates his pace, throwing his head back once more and releasing a moan.

Y/n’s eyebrows furrow as his eyes peak open, a throbbing pain going up his back as his body rocks up and down. He breaks out in a cold sweat as he feels moisture on his cock, confusion and exhaustion being the only feelings he can decipher at the moment.

Opening his eyes fully, he makes eye contact with two pairs of familiar eyes looking up at him. He shifts his gaze to the other two people who have their cameras facing him. His eyes tear up at the agony coming from his ass, the pain conflicting with the pleasure of his cock adding to the confusion. He turns his attention to the hot body holding him from behind.

Wait, I’m naked?

When reality hits, his eyes widen as he struggles against the hold.

“Wh-what the fuck is going on?!” He exclaims. He grunts as his hips buck when Mikey and Sanzu continue their assault without a care in the world.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, baby. It’s okay, just relax and it’ll feel really good.” Kazutora whispers against his ear, sweat dripping down his head as his hips accelerate, angling his cock to hit his roommate’s. prostate.

“Ah! K-Kazutora, wh-what the fuck?!” He could barely think about anything else but the intense sensations his body is being met with. His arms were bound by Kazutora’s wrapped arms so he couldn’t use them to get out of their grips.

“Relax.” His hand tightens around his neck as well as the arm around his waist before Kazutora plunges his cock inside of him rapidly, hitting his spot each time.

Y/n’s mouth is held open as he breathes heavily, the pain turning into a pleasurable fullness that he couldn’t believe.

I can’t believe they would do this to me. We’re supposed to be friends.

“I want to try something.” Mikey states as Sanzu moves back to give him room. Kazutora slows down to small thrusts as he holds back for Mikey to get adjusted, already having an idea of what he’s about to do.

“N-no! Get away from me! All of you!” Y/n exclaims, crocodile tears streaming down his face.

“Stop being so dramatic, Y/n” Rin scoffs.

“Y-you’re all fucking sick! Pieces of sh-!”

Sanzu shoves Kazutora’s balled up underwear in between his lips, forcing him to have muffled screams.

“If you spit it out, I’ll kill your girlfriend. Watch your mouth.” He threatens as he caresses his cheek with his thumb. Y/n could only stare in horror when he heard the promise, knowing how they’re all in a gang and have killed people before. He feels as though this could be his karma for turning a blind eye, not wanting to be involved but couldn’t help but accidentally hear conversations he wasn’t supposed to hear, though that doesn’t come easy when his roommate is so involved.

While all of that played out, Mikey undressed himself before climbing on top of Y/n. He grabs the lube and covers Y/n’s cock with it.

“Please, no!” He muffled, though he was ignored. Mikey places the head to his own ass before he drops himself on top, cock disappearing into him as he bottoms out with a grunt. He picks himself up before slamming down again, moaning as the head hits his prostate. He accelerates along with Kazutora who also matches his pace. Mikey’s head leans on Y/n’s shoulder as he rides him, grinding his ass while his own cock rubs against Y/n’s stomach.

“S’ fucking good. You feel so good inside of me.” Mikey moans against his neck, sucking his skin as Kazutora did the same on the other side. Y/n could only grunt and whimper occasionally as he’s stretched out from his ass and squeezed tightly from his front.

Y/n’s phone buzzes from the floor, Sanzu picking it up and smirking when he sees the caller id. He pressed the answer button. When her face appears on the screen, her eyebrow raises in confusion when she sees Sanzu.

“Oh shit.” Rin’s smirk grew wide as he eyes Sanzu in surprise. Ran could only laugh as the moans from Mikey and Kazutora could be heard.

“Hey. Y/n is kind of busy, right now.” At the sound of his name, he turns his head to see Sanzu holding his phone.

Oh no!

“What’s that noise?” She asks in confusion.

“Here, I’ll show you.” Sanzu says before turning the camera to face her boyfriend, making sure Y/n would be able to see her facial expression. He spits the cloth out, forgetting the threat as he desperately speaks to her.

“M-Mai! I swear to god this isn’t what it looks like! Pl-please!” He cries. “I didn’t kn…!”

“See, he’s busy.” Sanzu turns the camera back to himself, eyeing her distraught face in content.

He chuckles and sets the phone down when she hangs up.

“Why?! Why did you do…?!” He’s cut off by Mikey placing his lips on his.

“Didn’t I say that I’d kill her if you spit that out? If you bite him I’ll do it slowly.”

Y/n shakes his head sporadically as he whimpers before his eyes roll in the back of his head and his head drops back, Kazutora thrusting harder inside of him, rubbing his walls as he hits his prostate each time.

“You’re doing so fucking good. I’m so close, baby.” He whispers as he kisses his ear.

Mikey continues grinding hard, hitting his own prostate as Y/n’s cock rubs against his walls. Both of Kazutora’s hands move to grip Y/n’s hips tightly as Mikey hugs around his neck, thrusting harder.

Finally, Kazutora releases deep inside him, thrusting up as he holds his cock there, Mikey following along as his ropes of cum shoot against Y/n’s stomach. Because of the pressure, Y/n’s body reacts as he convulses, orgasming hard inside of Mikey.

They all breathe heavily before Kazutora removes himself from Y/n as Mikey climbs off. The Haitani brothers hand their phones to Kazutora and Mikey as they tell them to keep recording.

They force his legs up and spread as Sanzu and Ran immediately lick up the cum on his cock. Rin pushes him up more to get a better angle of his ass before licking the rim.

Weak, Y/n tries to push them away by pushing their heads back. They don’t budge and only swatt his hands away. His limp cock springs back to life as the sensations take over once more.

Ran takes him into his mouth fully as Sanzu moves to his testicles. Rin plunges two fingers into the wet hole, specifically angling to meet that familiar spongy spot. Kazutora moves closer to his upper body.

“I hate all of you.” He hissed as his body twitched against their play. “S-so fucking much.”

“Love you too.” He responds before placing a kiss on his lips. Caressing his forehead as he angles the phone’s camera to his dick.

Ran bobs his head thoroughly as Sanzu licks and grips his balls. Rin continues using his fingers to plunge back and forth deep into his hole at a steady pace. His legs tremble as his body convulses once more, nearing his release.

Throwing his head back, his hips buck once more. Releasing a grunt he shoots his semen in the back of Ran’s throat as he swallows it all. Both men lick up the remaining slick as Rin pulls his fingers out. Kazutora and Mikey stop recording, sending the video to the group chat without Y/n.

“I think it’s time to pay her a visit.” Sanzu says as he wipes his mouth.

“No! You’re not gonna fucking touch her!” Y/n growls as he sits up.

“What are you going to do about it?” Rin challenges.

“He’s going to do nothing but take this dick.” Ran states as he picks him up and forces him into doggy style. He struggles against Ran, failing miserably as his ass is pointed in the air.

“We’ll take care of it.” Mikey states as he dressed himself.

“No! No, please! Don’t hurt her! Kazutora! Stop them, please!” His voice cracks as the tears stain the sheets. Kazutora crouches in front of his face.

“Calm down, Y/n. It’s gonna be okay. You’ll get over it.” He says before walking to the doorway with Mikey and Sanzu.

“Please!” He whines as he begins to break down. Rin crouches as he stares at him with a smile.

“If you relax, you’ll feel better, okay? There’s no way we’re letting you go so you might wanna get used to this now.” He wipes a tear away with his thumb.

“Also, we’re gonna try to fit both of us in so relax your muscles, pretty boy.”

#yandere #yandere x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev smut #sano mikey manjiro #sano manjiro x reader #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x reader #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu x reader #ran haitani #ran x reader #rin haitani #rin x reader #college #college au #yandere tokyo revengers

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 7 months

Note

I heard you like fandom-y/chronically online ones so heres a recent one from me

So i (21F) was very into a certain show/fandom when i was around 14-16. This show had a mostly male cast consisting of a group of teens aged 15-17 and a 25yo man who was very attractive. I personally live by the "ship the character youre most attracted to x the character you project the most onto" way of shipping, and in this show the character i related most to was a 15f like me and was very gnc and dressed and acted like me. As you may have guessed, i shipped the 15yo with the 25yo for some time. It didnt last long, the 2 characters didnt interact much after the first seasons so i just forgot about it and grew out of it. I honestly forgot i ever shipped it and now that im older id never think to ship this or any similar dinamic or age gap like this. Also no i have never been groomed or have daddy issues or anything theres no context or INFO there i just thought the guy was rlly hot lmao.

Fast forward to now, someone i recently started being mutuals with began stalking me and scrolled down through 7 YEARS of my tumblr and eventually found my posts from when i was in that fandom. They went apeshit and screenshotted everything and showed their friends who all started attacking me for shipping that when all the posts were from 6-7 years ago. They said that since the posts were still up that means i still support the ship.

The posts themselves were mostly me reblogging fanart of the ship (nothing nsfw) and the ocasional original post from me talking about a screenshot/scene in the show w both characters

If i could find the posts id just delete them and be done w it but the person just screenshotted the posts and didnt interact w them + the search function is shit so i gen cannot find the posts easily and i dont want to waste hours scrolling down my own blog. I tried explaining why i liked it when i was a teenager and how im nowhere near that same mindset anymore but they refused to listen and just kept attacking me until i blocked them.

Could i have handled this better? I didnt think i was TA for shipping it as a teenager but now im not sure. For now tho the AITA question would be

AITA for not deleting posts/reblogs from when i was a teenager that were about a rlly bad ship?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #ship discourse

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nyrasbloodyclover · 11 months

Text

hypnotic (kai anderson x reader)

cw: breeding kink, eating disorder (it's really really bad), mommy issues, mentions of suicide, parental abuse, cults, kai is his own warning really, murder, overstimulation

a/n: if you're not into this pleaseeeee leaveeeeee i don't want tumblr to delete my blog again. also you can read this fic on ao3 if you'd like, link is in my pinned post. and if, by any chance, you relate to this i am so sorry.

What I wanted right now, was to get out of my house, go anywhere, just so I could stop listening to constant fighting and screaming from my parents. I couldn't bear it anymore. I had one year until college but it seemed impossible to survive that long.

"Oh, look who locked herself in her room!" My mother bursted in and a pit started forming in my stomach. I didn't move. "When are you going to start being useful? You're in here all the time, you could start paying rent."

Now, what was I supposed to say to that? If I told her that the reason I spent all my time in my room was because they wouldn't stop screaming at each other and I would just be their punching bag, she wouldn't listen and the situation would only get worse.

"Or maybe it's time for you to find a job. Now you're just living like a parasite." I stared. My mother was a very complex character. I think she would be capable of pulling Gone Girl on us. She has the mentality. Just saying.

My father on the other hand, he's weak. Or she made him weak. I don't remember the last time he stood up for himself. He's tired, I can see that clearly. I just wish they would get a divorce. It's so draining to wake up everyday and live in fear that your every move is going to be a mistake, something to criticize.

I don't remember the last time I felt truly at peace, but I could afford myself distractions. That's how I ended up scrolling through Tumblr 12 hours per day and forgetting to eat because the skinny girls I came across were just so pretty. Food was my enemy. We couldn't stand each other. And the guilt simply because of eating was the worst feeling ever.

Empty is pretty. And I wanted to look pretty, so I starved. It was my sport. It still is. The joy of seeing my hipbones and ribs after some time was indescribable. I loved to lay awake at night and touch my bones, feel them as I tried to fall asleep. Of course, there were many times when I just couldn't take it anymore and I binged. I would regret it immediately and restrict even more.

"Alright. I'll find a job." I stared at her with empty eyes. I was dizzy, almost like I got drunk. She exited the room and slammed the doors behing her. I think I'm never going to fully understand her.

I stared at my ceiling, having no energy to move, even though I had unfinished assignments hanging above my head, screaming at me to do them, but I just wanted to sleep. School can wait. I think my red lipstick was smudged, but I had no energy to take it off. My hair was a mess, too. I tried to straighten it but my natural waves were too stubborn. I fell asleep.

A week passed. My life stayed the same except for my new job at the restaurant—The Butchery On Main.

The two sweet women who own it were kind enough to let me work even though they don't employ people under eighteen. I worked mostly after my school, until the closing. I didn't mind since I got to leave the house and get a break from my parents.

People were nice, I took their orders, served their food. The restuarant was mostly empty during my shifts, but nonetheless it was almost hard, working with food. All those calories around me made me want to puke. And I wasn't much of a puker. I had the urge to binge. It was disgusting. But I wasn't going to throw all my work out of the window just like that.

I had my diet coke and if I got hungry Ivy said that I could eat whatever I wanted, and I wanted cucumber. With pepper. They had those.

Today, I had much free time so I was just sitting at one of the tables and doing my homework while scrolling through Tumblr and eating freshly peeled cucumber with some seasoning on top. I was thriving. I was almost happy. It seemed impossible.

The door opened. A man walked in. He was dressed in black from head to toe and what stood out the most was his blue hair with grown out roots. He walked like he owned the building and everyone in it. I immediately stood up, while he was pulling out his chair, fixing my uniform. I let him read through the menu for a couple of seconds and then decided to approach.

"What would you like to order?" I smiled. I was nice. I am always nice. Why hasn't he looked at me yet? Why is he ignoring my presence? His head was bowed down until he raised it and I was met with black pools that stared at me, or rather through me. I felt dizzy and it wasn't the diet.

"Surprise me," he cocked his head, "I would love to see what you liberals like to eat the most. Maybe it'll make me change my political views."

"Al..right," I dragged on, "Is that all?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Everything will be done in a minute." I wanted to get away from him, as soon as possible. He was probably some Trump obsessed republican who's most likely to tell me to make him a sandwich. Which I am practically doing right now. But I couldn't deny it - He had a beautiful face. I wouldn't consider him that attractive if it weren't for his dead, piercing eyes that silently commanded you to obey every one of his rules.

The food was ready. I had a feeling I would fall on my face next time I locked my eyes with his, which wasn't good. I didn't even know his name! Rachel, one of the cooks, handed me the best steak they had, house's special, "Who is it for?"

I didn't dare look at him. "The one with the blue hair. Just please don't stare. He's creeping me out."

Her eyes went wide, "That's Kai Anderson."

I looked at her blandly. The name didn't mean anything to me.

"You seriously need to watch more television."

"I'm fine, thanks. And if he's some menatlly deranged politician, then I'm not really missing out."

All the politics drained me, and don't get me wrong, I loved to be informed, but when I had to argue with someone about basic human rights, I'd rather not know anything.

I walked over to his table, and put the food on it. "I hope you're not vegan. Either way, enjoy your food." I kept my eyes everywhere, just not on him. He was so unsettling. I had to get away.

"I certainly will," he said and I walked away without a second glance. Jesus Christ, his mere presence was intense.

My shift ended in half an hour and that's when the restaurant was supposed to close. Ivy left early because of some family emergency, so she asked me to close and lock everything for her. I changed into my regular clothes—denim skirt and a white button down with my favorite black sweater, docs and a pair of knee socks. I untangled my hair and tried to brush it out with my fingers.

The tables were empty. Well, mostly. So-called Kai Anderson was still here, not even eating, just looking at some papers and flipping them over, for a while now.

I needed some extra balls to approach him and ask him to leave. Why did I accept to be the last one here? I could've been home by now, sleeping or watching a sitcom, but instead I'm stuck in this building with the strangest and the scariest man I've ever met. But then again, If I were home, my mother would be screaming at me. So I guess it's a win? Also I had to thank Kai for occupying my mind and not letting me think about food. I seriously needed to go to bed before I ended up eating something. Or worse- binging. I think I had less than 200 calories today which is a sign that I am slowly approaching danger zone. It isn't a diet anymore. I can't eat normally. I thought I could go back, but I guess my body won't let me. Or was it my mind?

"Miss?" Someone waved before my eyes.

"Yes? Sorry." Kai was standing beside the table that I occupied.

"Are you closing soon?"

Should I lie? But then again, he isn't stupid. "Yes. Do you want to pay?"

"Oh no. I already did. I just wondered what occupied your mind that much." He had no idea.

"Nothing much. Just tired I guess. Can't seem to balance school and work."

"Ah. You see," he sat across me, "I don't believe you."

"Okay? I didn't try to be persuasive."

He smirked. Dear God, why was he so creepy but so hot at the same time?

"I still want to know what made you zone out for that long." Has he been staring at me the whole time?

"That's creepy. I don't even know you."

"What's that got to do with anything? I just asked you to tell me what's been botherung you. You looked fucking stressed."

"It really doesn't matter." I just wanted him to leave.

"Wait. Here, I'll give you..." he reached into his back pocket, "Fifty bucks if you tell me."

My lips curved. Come on, you can't blame me. Extra cash at my age isn't something you just don't accept.

"Ah! I knew it," he smiled, "Come on, doll, speak."

"It isn't anything interesting. My mom is just being a bitch, nothing unusual." I gave him the least I could and snatched the cash from his hand.

"She isn't letting you sleep over at your boyfriend's or something?" He laughed like I had the dumbest reason for not liking my mother.

"Not really. She just...Wants too much, I guess? And I'm not able to give her that." It felt weird saying that out loud. I think I never said it.

He stared at me for a second.

"I want to show you a trick." He put his right hand on the table. "Don't worry. It's something me and my older brother always used to do when we were little."

He reached with his pinky finger over to my hand. We locked fingers like we were making a pinky promise.

"This is weird. And please hurry. My shift ends in fifteen minutes."

"We have enough time. Okay, listen. Pinky power. Once the skin contact is made, no lies can be told and whatever we say, stays between us," he narrowed his black eyes, "Trust me, if you lie, I will know. Ready?"

When did I agree to this? Well, fuck it, I'll do it anyway.

"Do you love your family?" He asked, his expression serious.

"Yes." His mouth twitched.

"Do you like your family?"

"Absolutely not." I shook my head.

"Why is that?"

How do I explain this to him without sounding like a total maniac? "My father is weak, he doesn't know how to stand up for himself. And my mother screams at me for merely existing. Her favorite hobby is emotionally draining me, then pulling my hair or slapping me because she feels like it. She regrets having me. I think she wants me to kill myself. It would be easier to have a dead daughter." My mind went blank. I felt nothing in that moment. Whatever he asked, I was going to tell him.

"Did you ever try to kill yourself?," he asked with a flat voice.

I thought for a second. Should I tell him the whole truth? He said he's going to know if I lie, but that doesn't mean...

"Don't think too much." His eyes went dark while I was literally choking under pressure of his gaze.

"No. I was never suicidal. I like living. But I..." words were stuck in my throat, "I...Sometimes, she would starve me. Saying I didn't deserve it. I had no money to buy something to eat. So I made a game out of it. I developed a disorder. It was the only thing I had some control over. I started it out of spite, but now it's real. It's worse than ever. But I don't want to stop."

His expression never changed. Not once. "Do you hate your mother for that?"

"You have no idea."

"I think I do have some idea about hating one of your parents. So, from experience, I need to ask you one more question."

I nodded. "Have you ever dreamt about killing her?"

I wanted to pull back from him, but his hand wouldn't let me. He pulled me even closer. "We can't break the contact," he gritted through his teeth.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I exhaled, "Yes. And no."

"Elaborate."

The restuarant was silent. I couldn't even hear the sound of cars outside. Lights were practically out.

"I...I wanted her dead. But I don't think I would be able to do it. I had a," I inhaled, "A fantasy about someone killing her while I watched. It's so fucked up, but I just couldn't help it. It brought me relief that she was gone and someone cared enough to get rid of her for me."

I was scared to look at him. He was going to call the mental ward and lock me there. I was fucked. Why did I tell him all of that?

I looked up.

He was smiling. It wasn't a sympathetic smile, or a sad smile, or anything similar to that. He was grinning like a maniac. He released my hand and I realized my eyes were filled with tears. I blinked them away.

He shook his head with closed eyes, "You're perfect. Perfect."

My voice was low, weak. "What? How could you think that after what I just told you?"

"Don't ask too many questions. I have a solution for you because I know you're destined for greater things. Tell me, do you wish to never be under your mother's thumb again?"

"I mean, yes? That's going to be when I turn eighteen, so I have to be patient."

He laughed. "Oh, no, baby, no. She's never going to let you go. She'll suffocate you until there is nothing left but a shell. No matter the age or what the law says, you'll always be controlled. While she's alive, at least."

"What are you saying?"

"Do you want my help? Do you wish to be finally free?"

This was so fucked up. I never met this man in my life. Why was he offering me help?

"What's in it for you?"

He cocked his head, "I get to keep you by my side."

My mouth was dry. I was scared, but...excited. Thrill rushed down my body as this psychopath was staring at me, offering me a sick escape. I was supposed to say no. I was supposed to save my soul.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"I want your help."

He looked so happy, it made me happy.

"Good. Then, we're leaving now." I was hypnotized by him. I just nodded, not asking where or why, my mother taught me I shouldn't get in the cars with strangers, especially men, but my mother was also the reason for many of my problems. I'll do something that'll piss her off.

I got into Kai's car and shut the door. I was okay with the fact that he might end up killing me.

He said nothing for the most of the ride, but I noticed him glancing over at my skirt that rose up to my thighs. I didn't bother pulling it down. I mean, I wore mini skirts for a reason, right?

I pretended not to notice as I looked at my reflection in the closed window. Hollow cheeks, red lipstick, pale face. I was obsessed. I always wanted to look like a corpse with make up. My face was perfect, lipstick untouched, mascara a little smudged, dark circles under my eyes from sleepless nights.

"You know you could eat a burger." I looked at him. I almost wanted to hug him. His words made me feel proud, like I achieved something big. And I guess I did.

"Really? Do you know that you're the first person ever to tell me that?" I felt weird happiness in my chest.

"Well, yeah. Why do you look so surprised? I didn't mean it as a compliment. You have a problem. I'm not even sure it's supposed to be a compliment." He frowned, not taking his eyes off the road.

"It doesn't matter if it's supposed to be a compliment or not. Thank you for saying it." I didn't give two fucks if he thought I was some anorexic lunatic that needed years of therapy. I was happy. And he wasn't my parent or my guardian to tell me what to do.

"Just think about it. What's the point of being so skinny? It's not even attractive."

"The point is in being clean. I don't want to see a pound of fat on my body. It's disgusting. And I am to do with my body as I please. I don't give a fuck if someone likes to eat like a fucking pig because It's not my body, and certainly not my problem." I was so angry. Who the fuck he thought he was?

"Just saying. You look sick. And I mean really, really sick."

"I am aware. Like I'm also aware that I'm fucked in the head. And that's the reason for all of this," I gestured over my figure.

I could feel his anger. He didn't like that I disagreed with him and stood up for myself, even if I was wrong.

"We're here." He suddenly said, getting out of the car. I followed him into the house I guessed was his. The whole neighborhood was silent. Lights were off everywhere.

We got into his house and I didn't even got to see it clearly because he practically dragged me into his basement and started changing. He put on a black leather coat while looking for something. His phone? He called someone.

"I'm expecting you'll be here in five? Well don't try to make up excuses. This is a perfect opportunity. I don't care— No, drag yourself and your pathetic wife here." He called two more people and I just stood in the middle of the room staring at him.

"What's your adress?" Was he really doing that now? "You know what, never mind. I found it." I wasn't going to ask him how. He looked like the person who instead of Instagram browsed dark web.

"Okay, let's go. They're here." I had to ask him because he said nothing about it. I had to be sure.

"Why are we going to my house?"

Beat. A moment. "To kill your mother, of course."

There were other people with us, but I couldn't see their faces because of the creepy clown masks. Kai had one too. I felt like I was drugged. I didn't know what happened to me. I suppose I had enough. I know Kai is not the answer for my problems, at least not all of them. He's going to get rid of her and then what? No. Stop thinking.

I listened to my brain this time. It was late. My parents were probably asleep. Probably in separate beds. It's going to be easier for Kai and the others to do the job. They kept their mouths shut and I didn't blame them. I still wasn't sure if I was part of this sick cult or whatever it was. I read enough about them to recognize a cult leader when I see one.

The car suddenly stopped. We were in front of my house.

"This played out so good, little lamb. I knew you were perfect." Kai's voice was muffled under that mask and his words made my heart flutter. He was so sick. "Don't just stand there, baby. Be a good host. Invite us in. Come on," he gestured with one gloved hand towards my house. I felt everyone's eyes on me as I turned my back and started walking towards the door. What did he mean by this playing out good? Did he plan this before? It certainly did not matter.

We got in, doors creaking, but not enough to wake anyone up. My father was downstairs, in the guestroom, but my Satanic mother was in their bedroom. I went first, up the stairs, one by one, they followed me, Kai first, then the rest of them.

I showed them the doors.

Kai got in and they followed him. I shut the door behind me. I felt like I was seeing things through someone else's eyes. I didn't feel guilt and I wasn't regretting my decision. I remember everything through a coat of blur. Knives, a lot of them. They killed her in her sleep. Stabbed her too many times, I lost count. Sheets were soaked with red and the room started smelling like iron too. Kai used her blood to draw some sign on the wall that was facing the bed. It looked like a smiley face, but I wasn't sure. The job was done. I was free. I was free of any charges, since I wasn't home when it happened. I was going to sleep in my bed and wake up in the morning, shocked, petrified, screaming for help, calling the police, my father is going to be terrified too, but relieved. He would never admit it thought.

We were in the car again. Then in front of Kai's house. "Leave. I want some time alone with our newest member."

"Kai, no. You can't drag her into this. She's just a child—" A feminine voice scorned him under her mask.

"Don't tell me what to do, Winter. Now leave," he raised his voice and I flinched. "We have much to talk about." He took off his mask and smiled knowingly at me. I wasn't scared of him anymore, though I knew I should be. He killed my mother for Christ's sake!

We went into his basement again. The lights were already on and I watched him as he took off his mask and black coat. His shirt was soaked with my mother's blood.

"What did you want to talk about?" I cocked my head.

"You were so good. I knew you could do it. Next time, maybe you'll even be the one holding the knife. You didn't even flinch!" He paced through the room and laughed, like he was talking to himself.

"You didn't do this for me, did you?"

He stopped, then looked at me, "I already told you. This played out perfectly. And I've been watching for quite some time now," his eyes darkened "When I found out that the woman who's been talking shit about me over her social media had a daughter, I had to see if she was as bitchy as her mother." Oh, so he did this to save his reputation. Of course.

"And," I swallowed, "Is she?"

He didn't answer me. Instead he marched to the other side of the room and pushed me against the wall, slamming his lips on mine. I was out of breath, not being able to process everything. Oh my god, he was kissing me! This insane, sick in the head, narcissistic, 30-something, psychopath was kissing me and I opened my mouth to him like the whore I was. I wanted him to touch me. No, I needed his blood stained hands on me right now.

I pulled one of his hands and put it on my chest as his tongue continued to explore my mouth. He took off my sweater and shirt. I was left in a black bra and skirt.

"Aren't you scared of being arrested for fucking a minor?"

"I commited far more monstrous crimes than fucking a seventeen year old and you know it, " he breathed into my mouth. Red lipstick was smudged over his lips. His hand that was on my chest slipped under my skirt and found my panties.

"You know it," his fingers entered me with ease, "And yet, you're still so fucking wet for me." My mouth fell open as he buried his fingers deeper if that was even possible. I wasn't a virgin, but then again, I've never been with a man. I took my own virginity so that I didn't have to bother.

"Kai—" I breathed. I needed more.

He sat on one of the chairs beside the circular table and pulled me onto his lap, his thigh between my legs. My clit was aching for some king of friction so I started rubbing myself against the rough fabric of his jeans.

"Aren't you desperate?" He pushed me on the floor, between his legs, he pulled out his belt and unzipped his pants. His intentions were clear and I was happy to oblige, but I had to touch myself or I'd go insane. I started stroking his already hard dick and rubbing my clit at the same time.

He noticed. And he wasn't happy about it. "I thought you were going to be patient. But I guess not." He took his belt and with one move he tied my hands behind my back while I was still kneeling in front of him.

"Please, I just need to—"

"Yes, yes, I know, but you have to deserve it. Am I right?"

I nodded hesitantly and he scooped up my hair in his fist and used it to pull my head down. I took him into my mouth as the wetness and ache grew between my legs.

Kai continued to pull my head down until his tip hit the back of my throat and I gagged. He chuckled.

My eyes teared up as I sucked his dick like my life depended on it.

He grunted and raised his hips, so I knew he was close. And I knew he was going to either come in my mouth or...

He pulled out and finished on my tits, painting my chest with his cum.

"You were so good," he said with his head tilted back and eyes closed. He let my hair fall down my back and over my face. Kai dressed and got up, then pulled me with him, still tied.

He slammed me on the desk and I was able to just lay there and let him do whatever he wanted to me. Not that I minded.

"I feel like I'm going to break you," he said as he traced my very visible ribs with the tips of his fingers. "Break every bone in your body."

I could feel my stomach sinking in and his words made me even a bigger mess than I already was. "Do it, please, please," I cried out as my hips rose towards him.

"Since you asked so nicely...And the skirt stays on. Do you know how much willpower it took me not to bury my hand under your skirt and make you beg for more while we were driving?" He pulled my skirt up and didn't even bother to take off the panties, he just ripped them. He towered over me as I layed on his table, feeling the cool air on my swollen clit.

Kai's fingers went over my aching pussy and my back arched towards his touch. He did nothing for a split second and then came the first slap. I yelped as the burning spread between my legs, but I didn't tell him to stop. He slapped me even harder and I cried out, most ungodly sounds coming from my mouth.

"Don't worry, you can scream as loud as you'd like."

He slapped my dripping cunt once more and after that I was sure I was going to feel his hands on me days after. He didn't wait for me to recover from his brutality, instead he buried two fingers inside me and started scissoring, wanting to spread me even wider. I threw my head back as he added one more. He buried them knuckle deep inside me and began curling them.

"I feel like you're a big girl. You can take one more." He didn't wait for my agreement. His four fingers were inside, making my pussy burn with pleasure. I wasn't able to form words. He spat on me and started massaging my clit while almost his whole hand was thrusting in and out of me. I felt pressure deep in my lower stomach and started panting and moaning for him to continue, but he did exactly the opposite.

My cunt was left empty without his fingers and I could almost cry. I just needed a bit more.

"Don't look so upset. I'm not finished with you."

Kai untied me and took his belt. He spread my legs as wide as he could and started spanking my pussy with it. I screamed more in pain than surprise, "Kai, no, stop, please stop-"

The pain was unbearable, but it was just enough for my clit to start pulsing more and that pressure in my belly to grow. I screamed in pain as he continued to hit me with no mercy. I could feel my walls clenching and my back arched as I came undone. Orgasm hit me and I came down from my high, but Kai didn't stop.

He started rubbing my abused cunt, overstimulating it. He was deaf to my begging and crying. It was too much. There was no pleasure anymore, just pure pain, but he continued to massage it and after a couple of minutes I was shaking with another orgasm. I knew I was too sensitive, but when I tried to close my legs, he stopped me. Then I noticed his rock hard dick under his jeans and my heart dropped. I was going to pass out. He was going to use me, not caring for my pleasure anymore.

"Just hold still a little more, doll." He pulled his dick out and slammed himself inside me, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. Everything hurt, but he didn't care. His thrusts were fast and rough, I couldn't keep up. I could feel his orgasm building and he had no intention of pulling out. Kai continued to slam into me until he reached his peak. He filled me with his seed and when he finally pulled out I could feel it dripping from my pussy.

Kai helped me get up and as he was untying his belt, his hot breath was on my neck. "Welcome to the cult, baby."

#kai anderson fanfic #kai anderson fanfiction #kai anderson x reader #kai anderson #ahs cult #ahs fanfic #ahs coven #ahs #american horror story #kit walker #tate langdon #james patrick march #jimmy darling #evan peters fanfic #evan peters #evan peters x reader

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dirtybg3confessions · 4 months

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Blog Moderation FAQs

Hi everyone!

Every time we answer an ask about the queue/inbox situation we get several of the same suggestions in our inbox. While we truly appreciate those of you trying to be helpful, I wanted to take some time to address some of the suggestions and the reasons behind our position on said suggestions.

Have you considered closing the ask box for a while until you work through what you have?

No. With as many asks as there are in the box, it would result in the ask box being closed for quite some time, which we don't think is really what anyone wants!

Closing the box would allow for us to "catch up", but it also would mean potential dry periods of content.

Keeping the ask box open means we need to scroll forever to reach the old asks, but it also means that we are set to deliver consistent content for a while, and are never at risk for an empty queue when the inevitable drop in fandom interest hits.

Why don't you post more frequently?

Actually, we do! We've exploded recently, so many of you may not remember ye olden days of our blog's founder doing their best as a one person show and we got one post a day... ish. Then, when the ask box exploded to 100 asks (haha) they brought in the first round of new mods (including me!). During this time, we were able to build a solid queue. We were then able to post 5-6 times a day.

With a healthy queue and a healthy ask box, we were able to bump the post frequency to 12 times a day. Most of the first wave of mods worked through some asks and then largely went inactive. This is fine, it happens. After struggling to keep up a frequency of 12/day as a one person show once again, we recruited new mods with some activity guidelines.

To maintain a posting frequency of 12 times a day, each mod needs to add 3 posts to the queue a day, or 21 posts to the queue a week. We ask that every mod contributes 30 times a week, that way we have a healthy buffer of content for holidays, emergencies, and just general time away from the internet.

While the confessions are sent in by y'all and editing them in photoshop is a generally simple process, it still does take time. Time in the game to find and take the screenshots, time in the editing software to create the image, then posting and tagging appropriately. Those cursed edits y'all love so much take even more time.

We're all adults here. And your mods are too. They have lives off of tumblr, often complete with bills and day jobs. Honestly, less fun than the little horny blog, but *vague gestures towards capitalist hellscape*

For these reasons, posting 12 times a day is going to be a hard cap for the foreseeable future. In the most loving way possible: If you are submitting an ask now and expecting to see it a week or even a month from now, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Submit your ask and know that it will be appreciated by the community when its time comes.

"A confession is never late, nor is it early. A confession arrives precisely when it means to." - Elminster (probably)

Why don't you just get more mods?

Have you heard the phrase "too many cooks in the kitchen"? Every person added to a process adds another variable, and the more variables, the harder it is to deliver a consistent experience. Additionally, the goal is to find people who can stay pretty consistently active, which can be a hard ask for a lot of people. We're very grateful for the team that we have now, and we aren't seeking new mods at this time.

Why don't you post more confessions about (character/female/etc)?

We are a submissions blog. We work with the content we are given. You need to be the horny you wish to see in the world. I know in general there's a lack of confessions for female characters, and there's an analysis to be made about how different gender/sexual identities interact with fandom and how that affects the content available in communities for consumption, but I'm not the person to make it.

Thank you all for continuing to be amazing, it is truly an honor to serve 🫡

#not confessions #faq #mod tri

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fedoraspooky · 8 months

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I haven’t been here long. What irritating changes have been made?

Credit where it's due, some changes have been good, like polls and stuff! But the big recent changes thus far that I would classify as irritating are:

- The UI change. This one may be less irritating for newcomers because it's basically the same layout as twitter and instagram, but for a lot of folks who've been here a long time, it feels cramped and like a loss of identity for the site. For many, the appeal of tumblr is that it ISN'T an algorithm hell like twitter or insta. Also, there's the annoyance of having to relearn where everything is, because it all got moved around.

- The users being lab rats for various tests the devs wanna pull out of nowhere without consenting to beta testing new site features- like the one that took away user icons on the dash for like half the site. They finally put them back after getting enough feedback that said NO, but users were so used to their feedback being disregarded that they were half expecting the change to be pushed through anyway.

- The Netflix tie-in advertising being pushed even to people who had PAID tumblr for a no-ads experience. Complete with them somehow thinking it would be a good idea to put an unescapable-by-scrolling spooky clown on peoples' dashboards that u had to use ublock to get rid of. While I'm not scared of clowns and often find them quite charming, it sucks that staff didn't take coulrophobia being a common fear into account.

- A wave of fully sfw trans posts being wrongfully marked Mature and staff doing little to nothing about it. Not sure if this is still ongoing, but it destroyed a lot of trust and good will. (LGBT+ users have been having to fight a constant war against censorship ever since the adult content ban on tumblr, so yeah... Nevar 4get the list of banned search words that would bring back no results, like 'girl')

- The site gradually moving away from customization. Tumblr is a BLOGGING site. But it seems to have lost sight of that fact, because most new users don't even know you can fully customize your blogs with css and stuff (an option that is now off by default for new accounts!), because of the in-dash viewer giving you only how blogs look on mobile, which is a lot more uniform. There, it's more like every other site- you get a banner and icon. Oh, but you can change colors and fonts from a drop-down list too, that's cool I guess. Though they recently took away custom color schemes on Message windows, just another little bit of personalization taken away.

- TUMBLR. LIVE. Basically tumblr teamed up with a skeevy dating app partner to allow for livestreams- but not the cool kinda livestreams like on twitch where you can draw or play games, no- to a site full of people who value anonymity, they decided to push phone cam only livestreams. Not only that but by agreeing to the terms, you're giving out tons of personal data including your location to said skeevy dating app partner and all of THEIR third-party ad partners. Needless to say, most people didn't wanna use it, so instead of users it's flooded by p*rn bots (which is ANOTHER issue we've been dealing with for a long time and have been getting an even bigger influx of FROM tumblr live) and scammers. And thus, since tumblr likes to put a carousel of current streams on people's dashes, you often get softcore p*rn thumbnails from the bot streams with no way to avoid it except for toggling off tumblr live entirely.

- Oh wait. That's right. You CAN'T toggle it off. Because you can only snooze it for a while until BAM, you're jumpscared by a carousel of ladies licking your screen again! But hey, at least they made the snooze 30 days instead of the 7 it used to be, right? Yeah, except for the fact that you can't get rid of the tumblr live button itself on the app anymore, and now it's front and center with a NEW notification tag on it, overlapping your dash and cramming useful stuff like the search button out of the way.

NOW- A lot of this stuff CAN be at least mostly fixed on desktop by installing ublock and xkit and tampermonkey + dashboard unfucker... But that's a lot of stuff just to make the site usable, you know?

#this isn't even a comprehensive list but hopefully that covers all the big ones #anyway i get tumblr has to make money and it's currently not doing that #but burning through the remaining good will of the people who stuck around through earlier bs doesn't seem like a great idea either #ah well... i'm still here regardless #i've already had to leave deviantart behind because it became an ai cesspit... and it sucked. I had a lot of good memories there.#it sucks to uproot everything and move. so unless something equally bad happens here i'll probs be going down with the ship lol #also there's like nowhere else to go right now which is a huge problem;#i've been trying to look for other places to post too but none really have the same laid-back feeling tumblr does.#also i love the asks system too much. more sites need that honestly #anyway i rambled enough hope this helps u get an idea of why people are angy #asks

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weirdmarioenemies · 9 months

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Name: Spindleburr

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy 2

Today's post is topped with a pointy plant. Be careful, don't touch it! If you happen to scroll through Tumblr by rummaging through a large purse and pulling out posts one by one, I would recommend wearing thick gloves for this post.

Spindleburr is sort of like Rubbery Bulb, the funny plant nodules Mario can spin into in order to twang them around and, in fact, even defeat some spiky plants! But some sadist on the Galaxy 2 dev team had a twisted idea... what if Rubbery Bulb... wanted to KILL YOU? They drafted some concepts, toned them down a bit to keep the E for Everyone rating, and that is how Spindleburr was born. Not from a seed, from a MESSED UP BRAIN!

Remember back when this was known as "Bee Eater" from internal data, until the real name was known? I don't think tenderizing alone counts as eating, unless it then, like, gingerly spreads the bee remains around its roots for fertilizer. Hey, the main Spindleburr image is cropped from this screenshot! Good job, cropper!

I don't think Spindleburrs truly mean any harm, I think that like any ol' spiky seed pod, they want to stick to an animal's hairs to be dispersed! Mario is far too small to transport a burr of this size. But they are not out of luck, for remember, there is a very Big Bee out among the stars who they could surely stick to! Normally she does not move all that far, but if a Spindleburr was lucky enough to stick to Honey Queen before she went out kart racing, she could spread those seeds to all of our favorite Mario Kart 7 locations! I hope the introduced Spindleburr's don't pop the Toad-Tastic balloons in Toad Circuit!

Name: Trapdragon

Debut: Super Mario Galaxy 2

This here is Spindelburr's partner in crime! I interviewed zero people, and 100% of them said that Spindleburr and Trapdragon are the most iconic duo in gaming. Trapdragon is a very funny name. It comes from Snapdragon, of course, so it has flower lineage, but this is now a combination of "trap" and "dragon" used for a flower that does not resemble a snapdragon, so I am Amused here.

Trapdragon will lie in wait, an unassuming flying flower, until its Tricky Surprise! It will utterly prank Mario by enveloping and attempting to digest him, but Mario always finds a way out. Maybe he tastes bad, and that is the real reason he wears bright red! Super Mario is aposematic!

Very fascinating is that Trapdragon is only MIMICKING a flower! It isn't the flower that eats: the "flower" is simply a lure, like a really wacky tongue, and just beneath its petals are these white Piranha Plant-like lips! Or maybe lip, since there is only one side to it? A rim. It is hard to tell if these are meant to be a variant of Piranha Plant, but I think it would be cool either way!

Look how funny when it's completely closed! Like those weird and wonderful Mario Kart 64 Piranha Plants. I hope that was intentional, but prooobably not. But maybe! These are the minds twisted enough to make Evil Plants, after all!

Here we can see both Spindleburr and Trapdragon hanging out, in the wild, in Honeybloom Galaxy. This is a good galaxy! Lots of funny plants! I feel like this blog should cover it at some point if we haven't already.

#spindleburr #trapdragon #super mario galaxy 2 #mario #mario enemies #mod chikako #long post

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c-e-d-dreamer · 9 days

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Punish You With Pleasure (Pleasure You With Pain): Part Two

A/N: I know it's technically WIP Wednesday, but what if I just post a whole ass update instead? That's right! We're back for more Rhysta! Sometimes, bullying does work. As a very important note, I have updated the tags for this fic. I know you can't see them here on Tumblr, but please know they now include the Major Character Death tag. If that's not your jam or if Rhysta still isn't your cup of tea, not clicking the read more and scrolling past this is free. Massive shout-out to the Nessian besties who helped me plot where this fic is now going and an extra big shout-out to @witch-and-her-witcher for beta-ing another chapter of this mess! Anyways! Onward to the NSFW smut-fest!

Read on AO3

“And then, of course, the table breaks, pieces of splintered wood everywhere.”

“It was a problem with the table. It wasn’t structurally sound.”

“Oh, sure, Cass. Blame the table. I’m sure it had nothing to do with you being drunk off your ass or anything.”

Mor and Cassian continue to bicker and tease one another across the table, arguing over the true events at Rita’s last night, but Rhys is quick to tune them out. He tunes out Azriel’s quiet, cool remark. He tunes out Feyre’s light laughter. Everything in the dining room fades away until his focus is solely on the female sitting all the way at the other end of the table.

Nesta hasn’t said a single word to him since she walked through the front door, but at least, she’s here. Clearly, his visit earlier in the week to her apartment was as effective as he’d hoped. Clearly, she followed his demand for her attendance at family dinner. He has to hide his smug smile behind the rim of his wine glass, taking a small sip of the red liquid.

She keeps her head down, gaze pointedly focused on the plate of food in front of her, aimlessly pushing around the vegetables across the porcelain. But Rhys doesn’t miss the way her grip around her fork tightens slightly, the barest hint of her lips pinching. He knows she can feel his gaze pinning her in place.

He dares to reach out and into her mind. Tall, iron gates reaching high and twisting dark vines and brambles greet him, but Rhys doesn’t allow it to deter him. He scrapes a talon dark as night along those mental walls, digging in just enough until he finds a tear. It’s small, but it’s enough for him to thrust the images into her mind.

The sight of her on her knees before him, tears streaking down her cheeks, lips stretched wide, and breasts bouncing with every hard snap of his hips, every plunge of his cock down her throat. The sight of her slumped over the back of her sofa, skin tinged pink and glistening with sweat, his come dripping from her abused cunt and coating the inside of her thighs.

A pretty view, don’t you agree? Almost as pretty as you sitting quietly here at dinner. Who knew all you needed to behave was a good fucking?

Nesta snaps her attention toward him, eyes narrowed in a withering glare. She shoves him hard from her mind, but Rhys knows he’s had the desired effect, the start of a pink flush beginning to pool in the apples of Nesta’s cheeks. He chuckles softly, taking another sip of his wine and turning his attention away from the eldest Archeron.

But his mind continues to linger with her.

Even here, in this dining room, the scent of her arousal still seems to cling to the air around him, still clogs his senses with the sweetness of it. The sounds of her moans still echo in his ears, the sound of her begging for him. He can still feel the wet warmth of her cunt, the way it took his cock, the way her walls fluttered and squeezed around him.

Worse still is the way his magic has swelled since that evening spent at Nesta’s apartment. It writhes in his chest in a way he hasn’t experienced since he first took up the mantle of High Lord, eager for attention and desperate for release.

Like calls to like.

That’s what his father always said. But whatever magic Nesta stole from the Cauldron, whatever power licks and climbs through her veins, it calls Rhys’s magic to rise in a way that’s indescribable. In a way that has him feeling dangerous and wanting more, has him wanting to learn what happens when their magic truly meets and melds. A siren song all its own.

So much power, so much potential.

“Rhys.”

Drawn out of his thoughts, Rhys turns to find a pair of bright, blue eyes watching him curiously, a soft smile. Feyre’s hand rests on his knee, and Rhys reaches for it, bringing it to his mouth and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“Sorry, darling. Lost in my thoughts I suppose.”

“Thought for a thought?” Feyre offers, a tease of their old game.

Rhys hums, giving Feyre’s hand a squeeze where it’s still held in his. “Just reminiscing really. Thinking about how far our family has come, to all be sitting here like this.”

Feyre’s expression softens even as she rolls her eyes fondly at him. “You’re quite the sap sometimes, but come on. Everyone is moving into the sitting room.”

Feyre pushes up from the table, heading out of the dining room and toward the voices drifting in from the other room. Rhys watches her go before turning his attention back to the table and his now empty wine glass there. With a quick wave of his hand, he conjures up something stronger, the burn of the amber liquid a welcome reprieve when he tosses it back.

When he steps inside the sitting room, his whole family is lounging before the fire flickering and sparking in the large fireplace. Feyre is perched on the arm of the large armchair, the invitation and open space for him clear, but Rhys’s gaze dances toward the other end of the room. He supposes he shouldn’t be surprised to find Nesta near the window, as far away as everyone else in the room as possible.

With everyone else’s attention otherwise preoccupied, Rhys allows his eyes to shamelessly rake over Nesta. His gaze lingers where her legs are primly crossed. It’s been a few days since his visit, but he can’t help but wonder if the female has had any other callers to her apartment since then. How well she washed in that rusty tub of hers after he left. He wonders perhaps if his seed still clings to her after stuffing her full.

He has to swallow hard at that particular thought.

His eyes continue to trace up and up. There’s a pretty pink flush clinging to the swell of her breasts. He smirks. It’s clear she’s noticed his attention. But he keeps his attention firmly in place, watches the way her breasts rise and press over the bodice of her dress as she takes a deep breath in.

Finally, he flicks his gaze up to her face, a pair of stormy blue eyes already narrowed and glaring at him. He dares to reach out for her mind again, scraping claws sensually against those iron gates of hers. Her face hardens, and she shoves to her feet, not sparing anyone in the room a second glance as she strides out of the room.

Rhys allows a few seconds to pass before he turns on his heel, sauntering with ease through the winding halls until he reaches the front doors. Her back is half turned to him, but Rhys doesn’t miss the way Nesta’s body stiffens, her fingers pausing where she was securing the clasp of her cloak.

“What do you want?”

Rhys hums noncommittally, leaning casually against the wall. “Leaving so soon?”

“I came to your stupid dinner,” Nesta snaps, whirling on him. “Aren’t you happy?”

“Oh, Nesta. I’m ecstatic. But it’s quite late. Why don’t I walk you home.”

“I’m perfectly capable of walking home myself.”

“I simply want to make sure you’re safe, in my city,” Rhys offers, stepping closer until he can leer down at her. He drops his voice down into something cold, allows his power to rumble beneath the words. “It would be terrible if something were to happen. Don’t you think?”

From the way Nesta’s lips pinch, Rhys knows that his threat has landed, that it had the desired effect. He smiles down at her, all teeth and cool power. He doesn’t know what it is about the female that draws out this viciousness, that bids the line between mask and reality blur. Perhaps, like calls to like also applies to the matching venom twined like thorns around their hearts.

Another tense moment passes between them, but then Nesta is turning and yanking the door open, stepping out into the crisp, night air. Rhys follows behind her, pulling the door closed behind himself.

He allows Nesta to walk a few paces down the street, but as soon as they’re out of view of the windows, he grasps her bicep. Nesta has barely let out a gasp of surprise at his harsh grip before Rhys is winnowing them both. Right to the doorstep of her apartment. Nesta stumbles forward when he releases her, clearly not used to the sensation of winnowing.

“See?” Rhys drawls, straightening out the cuff of his sleeve. “Wasn’t that so much easier? And you didn’t even have to walk in the cold.”

Nesta straightens, glaring at him. “You’ve walked me home. Now, you can fuck off.”

Rhys tsks, shaking his head. “Now, Nesta, I thought we had fixed that smart mouth of yours. Do you need another lesson?”

“You wish.”

Nesta unlocks her apartment and steps inside, but Rhys is quick to slip in as well before she can slam the door in his face. He backs her up until she’s pressed against the wall, his body firmly caging her in. He grips her chin between his fingers, jerking her head up and forcing her gaze to meet his. His thumb drags across her bottom lip, tracing that line of pink that had been so prettily wrapped around his cock before.

He swears he sees a flash in her eyes when they meet his own. A recognition. A promise. As though she feels the same anticipation he does of what’s to come. Of what they could be. Of what they could create.

Already, the scent of Nesta’s arousal has begun to swirl around them. A scent that Rhys has been unable to stop thinking about, that’s haunted him and left him addicted in a way he’s never experienced. His cock twitches in response to that sweet scent, his power humming and flickering in his veins.

His hand slides down until his fingers can curl around her throat. Until he can feel the thundering flutter of her pulse pressed to his palm. Until he can feel each heaving breath she gasps in beneath his grip. He swears he can feel her own power beneath his fingertips, silver flaring beside his shadows, twining with the darkness. It’s a caress, a whisper, a lullaby to the beast within him to lure it forward. A key in the lock of the cage he’s always kept that beast in.

He swears he can hear her name on the breeze, the beast echoing the chant. The High Lord and Death herself. A pairing he’s sure even the Mother couldn’t have foreseen.

“Did you miss my cock, Nesta?” Rhys taunts, pressing his hips forward until she can feel his own growing arousal. “Miss it stretching you out and stuffing you full?”

Nesta whimpers, but defiance still burns in her blue eyes. “Your ego truly knows no bounds.”

“Lying to your High Lord? Need I remind you of the way you begged for me to fuck you last time?”

When he reaches into her mind this time, his power surges, talons tearing open those iron gates. In the expanse, it’s easy enough to share a vision again, the broken, breathy voice crying out. Please. It’s easy enough for him to root through her own memories, drawing forward the feel of his cock spearing deep within her, his balls slapping against her clit with each hard, rough thrust. The recollection of sensations is enough to have Nesta moaning softly, her heady scent growing thicker and stronger around them until Rhys can practically taste it on his tongue.

“Please…” Nesta echoes in the present. One simple word but it has that beast within him purring in delight. The prey within his grasp all but asking to be played with.

“Much better. Perhaps you learned something last time after all.” Rhys pulls his free hand back far enough that he can conjure a dagger, dragging the tip of the blade along the neckline of Nesta’s dress. “I know your sisters bought you new things, and yet you still wear this ratty old thing?”

One downward swipe of the dagger, and Rhys splits the dress in two. Hooking the metal into the fabric at her hip next, he tears the undergarments she’s wearing. He sends the dagger back into a pocket universe, finally releasing his hold on Nesta’s throat only so he can shove at the remnants of her dress, pushing it off her shoulders, down her arms, until it’s a puddle at their feet.

He watches the fabric as it flutters, taking his time as he raises his gaze back up. His eyes trace over her calves, up over her thighs. The inside of them are already sticky with her arousal, the dark curls covering her cunt starting to glisten. He continues upward over her stomach, to her chest and the flush painted across the skin there. Her nipples are already peaked and protruding, practically daring for his touch.

She’s indescribable, standing here naked and wanting and vulnerable for him. Whatever power she may hold over his thoughts, it’s him that’s in control here.

Rhys reaches forward, taking one breast in each of his hands. He squeezes and kneads at them, relishing in the heavy weight in his palms, in the shutter that overtakes Nesta’s body and the way she arches off the wall with a moan. He ghosts his thumbs over her pebbled nipples, the touch light and teasing.

“Please.”

Rhys tightens his grip, he pinches and tweaks at her nipples, tugging until Nesta lets out a broken sob of a moan, her hips thrusting forward desperately against nothing.

“Do you need something?” Rhys taunts, smirking at the dazed expression that’s overtaken Nesta’s face, cheeks pink, lips parted, and blue eyes out of focus. He shoves his thigh between her legs, Nesta’s eyes fluttering as she whimpers. “Go on, then. Get yourself drenched and ready to take your High Lord.”

Nesta doesn’t need to be told twice. She starts to rock and grind her cunt against his thigh, every swipe and circle of her hips smearing arousal across the fabric of his pants. He presses his thigh harder against her, practically forcing her up onto her toes, but it doesn’t deter her. She rides his thigh faster, chasing the friction against her clit.

Every moan and whimper that tumbles past her lips goes straight to Rhys’s cock, his length pressing almost painfully against the confines of his pants. He resists the urge to press his own palm against his erection, to relieve some of the ache. Instead, he returns his focus to Nesta’s breasts. He told himself he was going to fuck her tits the next time, but all he can really think about now is burying himself balls deep in her cunt again.

Nesta tosses her head back against the wall, her moans becoming higher in pitch. Her hips start to stutter against his thigh, and even through the fabric of his pants, Rhys can feel the way her cunt has started to flutter. It’s clear that she’s close.

He slides one his hands back up to her throat, squeezing tightly. “I don’t recall giving you permission to come.”

“Rhysand… Rhys… I need…”

“Don’t you want to be a good girl? You were so good, at dinner tonight. How about you be a good girl and sit on my cock.”

His words have Nesta moaning again, even as he pulls away from her completely. Her hips buck against nothing as he steps back from her, eyes glued to his tented pants, his cock twitching in response to her attention. This time, he magics away his clothes. It’s a relief to finally have his cock free, and he fists it lazily, giving into the heat rushing through his veins, the groan trapped in the back of his throat, as he watches Nesta lick her lips.

Rhys walks over to Nesta’s sofa, settling against the cushions with his arms stretched casually along the back, his thighs spread wide. He peers over his shoulder back toward Nesta, raising a pointed eyebrow. “I thought you had learned your place in this Court. Don’t keep me waiting now.”

Nodding her head, Nesta saunters around the sofa until she’s standing in front of him. She keeps her eyes on him as she slowly sinks to her knees, settling between his spread legs. Her hands slide up his thighs, nails biting against the skin, until she reaches his cock. She knocks away his hand so her own fingers can curl around him, slowly dragging up and back down, and then she’s leaning forward.

Her hot breath fanning across the head of his cock is Rhys’s only warning before Nesta swallows him all the way down. A long groan is torn from his chest at the wet heat of her mouth, at the feel of his cock hitting the back of her throat. And when she moans around him, the vibrations traveling all the way to his toes, there’s no stopping the way his hips buck against her, Nesta gagging around him only adding to the delicious sensations burning through his limbs.

“Fuck, look at you,” Rhys groans, threading his fingers through Nesta’s hair and holding her there. “I knew you missed my cock.”

Nesta moans around him again, looking up at him through tear stained lashes. She pulls back slowly, her tongue dragging along the underside of his cock, until he comes free from her mouth with a quiet pop. His length glistens from the ministrations of her mouth, and Nesta leans forward again, lapping up the milky liquid that dribbles from his cockhead.

Rhys watches her through dark eyes. Watches her eyelashes kiss her cheeks with each flutter of her eyes. Watches her hand slip down between her legs, her fingers toying with her clit. But that beast roars for more, demands he take what is his.

“As much as I’m enjoying the sight of you on your knees before your High Lord, I believe I told you to sit on my cock.”

Nesta swallows hard, but then she’s pushing up to her feet on shaking legs. She doesn’t even bother wiping her mouth, lips puffy pink and wet, her cheeks still mottled with tear stains. She hesitates for a moment before settling her hands on his shoulders, using him for balance while she clambers into his lap. Her hand reaches down, fisting his cock and lining him up with her entrance.

She circles her hips, dragging his cock through the wetness gathered there, so he can feel how absolutely drenched and aching she is, but he doesn’t have time for any more teasing. His own hands reach forward, gripping Nesta’s hips hard enough to bruise.

He pulls her down hard until she’s sitting fully on his cock.

The female lets out a sharp cry in surprise at the sudden movement. The walls of her cunt spasm and squeeze around him, the tight warmth exactly how Rhys remembers it.

“Gods, you just love to be stuffed full of my cock, don’t you? Look at how you take it.”

Rhys wastes no time in setting a brutal, punishing pace. Using his grip on her hips, he pulls her up and slams her back down, thrusting up his own hips to meet the movements. It’s indescribable, the drag of her walls against his cock, the way they flutter around him and seem to pull him deeper still with every inward thrust. He’s quickly growing drunk off her sweet cunt, off the litany of moans falling past her lips and mixing with the wet slap of skin on skin.

“You’re just so desperate, aren’t you?” Rhys growls, fucking up into her harder still. “Desperate for your High Lord. Desperate for his cock. Desperate to be filled to the brim.”

“Fuck…” Nesta moans, her hands reaching for her bouncing tits, palming them and pinching her nipples.

“Don’t try lying to me again. I can feel how soaked you are, feel what a mess you’re making of my thighs.”

“Rhysand, please.”

“We both know you can do better than that,” Rhys taunts, his voice dipping into the cool, authoritative tone of a High Lord. “Scream it.”

And scream it she does. Nesta screams his name until she’s hoarse, bouncing on his cock and kneading her breasts desperately. He knocks her hands away, instead enclosing his mouth over her nipple. He sinks his teeth against the skin, biting and tugging until Nesta lets out a high pitched shout. She arches fully against him, her cunt squeezing so tight that Rhys can’t hold on any longer. He pulls her down as far as he can against his lap, his cock pulsing and filling her deeply.

He thrusts shallowly a few more times, groaning and riding out the high of his release. When he lets go of her, Nesta slumps to the side, falling on her back on the sofa beside him. Rhys turns enough that he’s able to pry her legs back open, his gaze focused on her cunt. He watches the way it flutters with the aftershocks of her own orgasm, the way his seed drips out and pools on the fabric of the sofa.

He swipes two fingers through his come, gathering as much as he can, before he shoves his fingers back inside her cunt. Nesta whimpers at the sudden intrusion, but Rhys doesn’t let it deter him. He keeps his fingers pressed deep, leaning over her body and leering down at her.

“We don’t want to lose a drop, now do we? How else will it take?”

Nesta’s whimper shifts into a moan, her entire body shuddering in response. Her walls clench around his fingers, inviting them in deeper, holding his come exactly where it belongs.

“It’s what you want, isn’t it?” Rhys asks, daring to curl his fingers, Nesta bucking up against his hand.

“Yes,” Nesta whispers, her voice little more than a broken moan.

“Not just stuffed with my cock, but full of my seed.”

“Yes!”

Rhys swears in that moment her power flares and rises along with her voice. Swears it calls on and draws out his own, mingling in the space between them like a swirling storm of glittering shadows. Swears he can feel it like a caress, hear it like a whisper. It ensnares him. It’s a finger hooking and tempting him to dive right into the darkness.

Rhys’s cock twitches in renewed interest, already hardening again, and he’s never been more happy for his fae body and its way to recover so quickly. The fingers of his free hand curl around himself, stroking his cock until it stands at full attention again. He shifts fully up onto his knees, pressing Nesta’s leg up and back until its hooked on the back of the sofa, until she’s fully opened up to him.

Rhys pulls his fingers free from her cunt just long enough to replace them with his cock, holding himself still with his hips pressed firmly to hers. “Well, since you begged so pretty, we can make sure you’re really filled and overflowing.”

Rhys pulls his hips back just to snap them back forward again. The beast is fully unleashed as he fucks into her with a ferity he didn’t know possible. Nesta’s moans and shouts ring in his ears, the wet sounds of sex as his cock glides through his own seed, as it slams into the warm cunt of the female beneath him.

He’s half aware of her nails biting into the skin of his back, but it’s the scent that really has his attention. Not just that heady, sweet scent of Nesta’s arousal, but his own scent all over her, in her, mixing together into something that promises power and possibility. It makes him dizzy, pulls a growl from deep within his chest.

Nesta is little more than a mess of pleasure. Her eyes are heavy lidded, whole body rocking with every hard thrust of Rhys’s hips, of his hard cock spearing into her again and again and again. A litany of half choked sounds and sobs falls from her lips like a chant, but he doesn’t miss his name, the please. Somehow, it makes him harder still.

The selfish, stubborn female, the female with the fire of Death in her veins, fully submissive beneath him. All his for the taking.

Rhys can already feel himself climbing dangerously higher, can feel the heat building and writhing for release. Normally, he might feel embarrassed at the speed, but not here, not now. A few more thrusts and he explodes, stars swimming in his vision. Nesta’s cunt squeezes tight around him, practically milking his cock as he spills deep.

He gives himself a moment to catch his breath then finally pulls his softening cock from the blissful refuge. His cock is a mess of her arousal and the result of two releases, but it’s nothing compared to her cunt, beautifully stuffed full and dripping just as he promised. Rhys lazily strokes his hand down and back up his length, his cock giving a final spurt as if in agreement.

He gathers up that final dribble and smears it across Nesta’s lips. “Wouldn’t want to waste a single drop.”

Nesta is pliant, doesn’t protest as he presses those fingers past the seam of her lips and into her mouth. When he pulls his fingers free again, he drags the wet pads of them down her chin, her neck, all the way down the valley of her breasts. He hums quietly to himself, feels what thrums beneath the surface sparking at his touch.

“Perhaps you’ll have some use to this Court after all.”

#rhysta #nesrhys #nesta archeron #Nesta x Rhysand #Nesta x Rhys #acotar #my fic

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front-facing-pokemon · 4 months

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Yes, Honedge!

Something i'd like to point out about its face:

It doesn't have a goofy face, the holes in the scabbard just make it look that way. In reality, it just has a single eye.

With that in mind, could you please do a version without the scabbard?

iiii figured this was common knowledge enough to not warrant an additional form, but alright:

some of the guard disappeared but it's okay. i never even saw that part of the scabbard as a face—the blue eye is very obviously an eye. i don't know if anyone actually thought that was its face. however, i do find it interesting that even after removing the scabbard textures, it still has textures for that "face" remaining:

which implies it's a face more than anything i've seen of the matter before this point

anyway there's so many asks in the box right now so let's just go through all of them:

in order from oldest to newest, here we go:

this is true. most of the models are shiny, unless they have a "colladamax" variant

ahh it's fine. i considered it might have been a request but i also doubted it considering pangoro was literally next so i assumed you were just excited. me complaining about requests was unrelated—another ask i got around the same time

well then maybe it's not a bad thing. you certainly phrased it like one, it seems, but that might just be unfortunate connotations with the way you said it? glad we could clear up the confusion i guess

we do need more snakes, but i also like the bipedal pokémon, as a furry. back when everyone was begging sprigatito not to stand up, i saw through their thinly-veiled furry hate and was begging sprigatito to go against the grain and stand up anyway. and then they did and now meowscarada is one of my favorite pokémon. get fucked, normies (i am sorry for saying this)

↑ i didn't know this until i looked it up! this is interesting. stuff like the male version learning misty terrain but the female version learning more type coverage. this is very strange but i like it. only girls can use magical leaf and charge beam sorry boys

thank you! i can explain it. it is because pokémon are getting very close and staring at you as for the inspiration for this blog, it was mostly snivy. i remember one day thinking that snivy's big nose would make it look very silly from the front, and being like "damn. someone should compile a list of what every pokémon looks like from the front. damn. that would make a good tumblr blog bc some of those would be really funny. damn. i should do that" and then i did. but that was back in 2020—pretty soon after i ended up starting college which didn't allot me a lot of time for updating this blog, and although i kept swearing i'd go back, somewhat soon after that i went through a breakup and just wanted to take a while for myself. a bit after that, tumblr user sewatari reblogged one of the posts on this blog again (the weedle post, i believe?) and singlehandedly revived this blog by reminding me that they still cared about it. and that's fucking awesome?? tbh?? so thank them for this blog's continued existence. if you scroll waaaayyyy back far enough in the archive, you'll probably see that miniature saga. the images back from the first gen and onwards were a little bit icky as i got grips on how to actually go about this blog and manipulate the models in the right way to get them to work, which is why i can never really recommend folks scroll all the way back in the blog, but it's a look back into my own personal history, i suppose

apologies for breaking the magic, although i don't think anyone keeps up with the "i am a pokémon taking real live pictures of other pokémon with the camera right in their face" lore because no one pays attention to the backgrounds of the images (which used to change much more than they do now, but that's just because no one ever noticed or pointed them out. the background is not the focus of the image—it's the pokémon itself; thus, why look at the background? staging the pokémon in a setting used to be important to me, but now i don't worry about it and cycle between the same few backgrounds) or the asks, really. it's the commentary in the tags everyone comes here for, of course

she's a fully-grown woman with a house

then you'll love the top of this post

they probably wouldn't think it looks like anything because they aren't familiar with what honedge looks like so they would just picture nothing in their head. or they would just make up what they Think honedge might look like based on its name, or something, and then imagine that front-facing

i don't know which one of these is the real one. but we have some discrepancy here. also apparently this is a wider-spread belief than i thought

OKAY. i think that's all of them. if you read all the way here to the end, that's. powerful. for those of you who stuck around this long, i'm live right now with a test stream having some breakfast and playing pokémon. come join in, if you're bored this morning!

edit: it's over but i'll probably do it again some time, more likely at a more reasonable hour next time. considering the idea of doing a fully voiced pmd series—perhaps that'll be the next stream. or i'll leave another test one for it. who knows!

#not pkmn #nose ratings #extremely long post under the cut #i missed a few days of these so you're getting them ALL at once #the test stream probably won't be anything interesting btw. so you're not missing out if you don't show up #probably. who knows what i'll do. maybe i'll queue up the next set of pokémon live on camera. or maybe i'll fail at some tera raids #or maybe i'll find a random full-odds shiny in sv. or i'll go shiny hunting or something. y'never know!!#also fun fact apparently if you edit a tumblr post with a readmore‚ it moves the readmore down every time you edit it #why? no idea

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bomberqueen17 · 4 months

Text

encouraging

Last night I got very mildly high (a really great thing about being middle-aged in this new era of legal weed is that it's really easy to get very consistent and reliable gummies with very consistent and reliable doses of THC so you can get yourself very mildly stoned, not enough to freak out or like lose time or anything, just enough to be Altered and take a little mini-vacation from your own brainweasels, and wake up refreshed the next day instead of hung-over) and scrolled Tumblr until I saw that post about multi-vortex "dead man walking" tornadoes again, and that got me to go search up the one they mentioned by name and then go into a wikipedia spiral about destructive multi-vortex tornadoes. (The post, shockingly, isn't totally accurate, but isn't like. wrong-wrong. For the record though the dead man walking bit of the tornado wasn't as deadly as the just wall-of-black that came later.)

And actually while it was terrifying to see what kind of destruction the weather can wreak, it was kind of... encouraging. Reading the accounts of historical storms and more recent ones, there's this throughline of learning, of new regulations and guidelines, of science being done. The old historic tornadoes, not only were the casualties high, but the aftermath horrible, people missing, fires wiping out survivors, local economies irrevocably destroyed. The newer tornadoes, often the weather itself was more severe, but there are fewer and fewer casualties, better warnings and advice from meteorologists, better government response. I didn't track any of my sources on this and I've closed the window so I'd stop reading about it, but I read with interest about how in 1991 a news team sheltered under an overpass during a scary but relatively weak tornado, and broadcast footage of this, and then in a much stronger early-2000s tornado, a number of people were killed sheltering under highway overpasses, and then by the 2010s the advice to avoid highway overpasses had become common knowledge, and people are no longer being killed this way. (Also I finally had my question answered, having been on the Thruway during a tornado warning: why not shelter under an overpass? Well! Because of fluid dynamics. Just as water pressure intensifies when going through a sudden narrowing in a pipe, so too does wind going through a narrower space, so if you're hiding in that narrow space you are gonna get sucked out of it. So if you find yourself out in the open, do not shelter under a bridge or overpass! Shelter instead in a ditch if you can find one, or a hollow in the ground, something open to the sky so the wind will not intensify passing through it. Now You Know. ok fine I reopened the tab to cite this: NOAA's page on this topic)

Another one was a storm in the 20s where several of the casualties were farmers out in their fields, taken unawares. Normally farmers are weather-savvy, the article said, and would know to shelter from storms, but this tornado had an unusual appearance, and took them by surprise. Contrast that to later storms, where mobile radars were deployed, where meterologists and broadcasters had protocols already in place, where local inhabitants knew to listen and knew how to respond-- there are still instances of bad advice, like an Oklahoma TV weatherman telling people to get in their cars and evacuate which led to gridlock on the local highway which would have resulted in hundreds of casualties save for the tornado missing that area, but mostly people know now what to do. The casualties are much sparser, and many of them now are, instead of people making fatal mistakes, instead people doing the right thing but the storm just being too powerful. (No less tragic, but I suppose it's slightly less heartbreaking to know it was just bad luck and not also poor information.)

And you see examples like in 2011 the 12 oil rig workers, who sheltered in the change house, which due to new information about tornadoes had been built with tie-downs, which nearly failed but did not and all twelve souls were spared, and the company improved construction of future change houses as tornado shelters based on this information.

Anyway, it was a weird thing to fixate on for the evening but in the end it did leave me with a feeling of hopefulness. Like, this is a thing where science and good government actually can concretely improve outcomes.

Let's not extend our worry into climate change making all this worse, just yet, and leave it at this.

LOL this is so poorly cited I'm turning reblogs off, and hopefully I'm done obsessing about tornadoes for a lil bit now. Well, we'll see if that resolution sticks, I reopened tabs to put in at least minimal citations here and haven't closed them yet.

#about the author #tornadoes #brief hyperfixations

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plubbo · 1 year

Text

Grey Hairs (Crosshair x reader)

word count: 1086

warnings: none. just some fluff

(My first ever post on Tumblr. Did I do this because I have grey hairs and to cope with tech x phee? Maybe, maybe. Also, the reader is implied to have long-ish hair. Anyways, enjoy!)

You woke up in the early afternoon, exclaiming to yourself when you checked the time. There was a small note on the counter near your bed that read,

“Me, Hunter, Echo, and Tech (Omega’s tagging along too) are going for a supply run. We’ll be back in a jiffy!

-Wrecker ʘ‿ʘ ”

You sighed, placing the note back down onto the counter. There was no point in going out to find them, so you’d have to wait in the ship all alone.

Wait, the note said that Wrecker, Hunter, Echo, Tech, and Omega went out, meaning that there was still someone on the ship.

Kriff.

You rolled your eyes as you let out a sigh. Did it have to be him? Of all of the squad members, he was the one on the ship with you.

You and Crosshair never really got along all that well, but maybe that was just because you hadn’t talked too much? Well, it doesn’t matter now. This could be a potential bonding experience.

You grabbed a datapad and walked out of your room into the cockpit, which was where a familiar silvery-haired squadmate was sitting. He was in the pilot seat cleaning his sniper, like he usually does when there’s nothing else to do.

You sat down on the co-pilot seat, giving him a small wave as you did. He let out a quiet huff that you almost didn’t notice.

“Good morning to you too,” you hissed. You swiveled the seat so that it faced away from Crosshair and looked down at the datapad you brought out of your room. While you scrolled through an article, your long hair got in the way of your view of the screen, so you tucked some of it behind your ears. It was a simple solution, but it only lasted for a few minutes before you realized that your hair had fallen back to its original position. You sighed as you tucked it behind your ear once more, only for the same outcome.

Luckily for you, you had a hairband around your wrist. You thought that you should just tie it up normally, but instead turned the chair back to face Crosshair. With a quick clearing of the throat, you stammered,

“Um, when you’re done with cleaning your rifle, could you.. help me with something? Take your time, of course.”

The sniper side-glared at you and stopped what he was doing for a moment. He let out a quick and quiet sigh before leaning his rifle against the controls. Then, he spoke out with his sharp, croaky voice,

“What do you want?”

“I just… Uh, could you help braid my hair?”

His facial features changed in the slightest way; you almost had to squint to see it. He raised an eyebrow and interrogated,

“Why would I do that?”

“I dunno, I just wanted you to do a favor for me. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, just tell me.”

You weren’t lying; you thought that maybe you could become a little more acquainted through it. You placed a hand over the back of your neck, which was starting to warm up with embarrassment. But, that feeling of unease left you when you heard Crosshair’s voice ring out again.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Turn yourself around.”

As he got up from his seat, you did as you were asked and repositioned yourself so that the back of your head faced Crosshair.

He took a handful of your hair in his hands before stopping what he was doing and asking,

“What now?”

“Pfft. Ahem, divide my hair equally into thirds and just cross the parts over each other.” You found it funny how he asked that, but you needed to stifle your laughter. You didn’t want to anger him, especially since he had a handful of your hair in his hands.

At first, he tugged at your hair and moved it around harshly, not really knowing his own strength. It was until you let out an ‘ow!’ sound that he started treating you gentler. He also kept fumbling around with your hair; it always either fell out of his grip or he thought it didn’t look quite right and had to redo it. You didn’t know what exactly you were expecting.

At one point, he eventually just dropped the handful of hair he had and exclaimed,

“I’m done. It’s not work–”

He stopped speaking when he saw something on your scalp shine in the dim lighting of the Marauder. He moved a couple of strands of hair around to reveal many hidden grey strands scattered around your head.

As he stopped speaking, you worried that he was frustrated, so you tried to console him.

“If you can’t do it, it’s okay. I’ll just–”

“You have grey hair.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I know that. Don’t pull them out.”

“I didn’t say I was going to. But, why not?”

“Well, ‘cause it would hurt. And…” You quickly thought of another reason. “And because it kinda matches with yours.”

You turned your head to look up at his face to see his reaction. The corners of his lips were turned upwards in the slightest way. But, it quickly vanished and he retorted,

“Why would you want to ‘match’ with me? I certainly don’t want to match with you.”

He crossed his arms and sat back down in his seat, soon resuming his cleaning.

You would be lying if you said the statement didn’t sting a little, but you knew it was insincere because of the small smile on his face. You decided to mess with him a little.

“I’m not keeping it just because it matches yours. I just think it’s neat. The color looks good on you, so maybe it would look good on me.”

You could see him freeze and force a scowl on his face to hide the smile. But, in the end, the smile still showed on his face. It was bigger than the last one, too.

“Thank you,” he commented in an undertone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you say something?”

That earned an eye roll from him, but he swiveled his chair around to face you and he repeated louder,

“Thank you.” He hesitated before adding, “If we were to ‘match’, then yours will look.. decent at best. Don’t let anyone pull them out.”

You nodded your head at him, grinning wildly.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on it.”

For the first time, Crosshair returned a small smile to you.

#tbb crosshair #sw tbb #tbb #the bad batch #crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair bad batch #bad batch #tbb x reader #tbb x you

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eschergirls · 11 months

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Hi everybody!

It's June so it's time to give a site update and to thank all our May Patreon subscribers!

So, first, the biggest update is that I've discovered a lot of the Escher Girls Tumblr has been flagged by Tumblr as adult content. I've appealed dozens and there's still more to do (the weird Tumblr interface means that I can't know how many I have left until I clear out the stack they give me). It's frustrating because the flagging is clearly done by an algorithm that's just scanning the images for vaguely nudity matching things because this cover got flagged and I'm pretty sure that it's not because of Sue but because of Johnny. There's a bunch of other images with fire people that are flagged for nudity too because the algorithm can't tell that monocoloured characters are not naked. Sometimes it's even more baffling how the post could be flagged (such as the She-Hulk one I put with this post.) And the appeals are processed within seconds and seemingly rejected or accepted arbitrarily. Given the speed that they're processed, I'm 1000% sure no human is actually looking at them. It's annoying and I don't know how it affects the visibility of the posts, or if some posts are removed entirely without me knowing.

Stuff like this is why I decided to self-host and made a dedicated site for Escher Girls. I know it's not Tumblr, but I encourage people to check out the main site (EscherGirls.com) because it's an archive that I control and can't be deleted or hidden by Tumblr. It's also why I mention that Escher Girls has an RSS feed, so people know there's a way to keep up to date with posts outside of Tumblr (and previously Twitter, which no longer functions because they turned off API access). For newbies, simply copy and paste https://eschergirls.com/rss.xml into an RSS reader and it will keep you up to date on EG.

And all of the above is why I'm so appreciative of the support we get from Patreon & Ko-Fi because it helps pay for hosting and the domain name and helps us upgrade the site as needed. Also, just personally, I appreciate that people think what I do is worthwhile enough to support. <3

As usual, I'm working on restoring broken posts when I find them. Some of them I've found aren't just broken on this site due to the move but also don't exist on Tumblr anymore due the posts being removed due to flagging. My major restoration project which took a long time this month was fixing up the WarTune tag, which was a lot of work but well worth it I think. If you haven't seen the WarTune ads before, I encourage you too, they're... something else.

I also fixed up an old post about the original Elder Scrolls that I like because I wrote a short story as the caption (and I've now added a title for it). Check it out if you haven't seen it before.

Anyway, with the updates out of the way, I want to give a very sincere thank you to our May Patreon subscribers. As I said before, your support means a lot to me personally and keeps this site up as an archive that Tumblr can't alter.

Thank you so much to:

Anne Adler Cat Mara CheerfulOptimistic Chris McKenzie Em Bardon First Time Trek Greg Sepelak Joseph Millman Ken Trosaurus Kevin Carson Kim Wincen Kristoffer Illern Holmén Leak Manuel Dalton Mary Kuhner Max Schwarz Michael Mazur Michael Norton Miriam Pody Morgan McEvoy randomisedmongoose Ringoko Ryan Gerber Sam Mikes Sean Sea SnigePippi SpecialRandomCast Thomas Thomas Key

And also a thank you to all of you who follow, read, and interact with Escher Girls and contribute through commentary, submissions, and participating in the caption contests.

You all rock <3

Ami

(If you wish to support Escher Girls, you can subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/ami_angelwings or donate through Ko-Fi at: https://ko-fi.com/amiangelwings.)

#patreon #note #update #tumblr

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so2uv · 4 months

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@ so2uv's sappy time.

end of the year. ive survived and that's scary but you know what? it'll be fine. we'll all be fine and im promising that; whether it be this year, the next, or far in the future, we'll be ok :)) it's stupid how this platform, one that my friends teased me for using, left such an impact on me as a person.

AKA. MY END OF YEAR MUTUAL APPRECIATION POST. (warning: these got long and sort emotional for me to write. well, as emotional as i can get fjkdhgkjfd. sorry if my coherence gets lost later on. forgive me if you weren't mentioned specifically for something; i have more mutuals that expected. it's genuinely surprising.)

if you weren't mentioned specifically, there's still a note for you at the bottom. sorry for making you scroll for long to find it :'DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @tiredsleep . . . the mutual who has stuck through it all. oh tired. tired, tired, tired. i think im a little stupid for how happy i get when you like a post or send an ask or keyboard smash in my reblogs. a lot of what i said in my long ask to you a while back is what im trying to convey now. the way we met wasn't through much special; i followed you and eventually you followed back. it was slow going in the ways we interacted but the nicest things take time and im so glad we're the way we are now. we're strangers, two little guys on the internet, and i think it's beautiful how we have this. you're an amazing writer, an all around amazing creator of the worlds you build and the characters you create. i don't think you realized how envious i used to be of you; you made it seem like it was easy enough for you to connect with others, your writing was something id never achieve with mine, it was flat out jealousy. it was my fault we were distant to begin with. i soon figured out that praise was correct: you are among the most wonderful people ive had the pleasure of knowing and talking to you, even if it's just through a screen. there's so much more for me to say that i constantly struggle to put into the correct words to get the point across. just know that you have great things out there for you. have a great new year, tired. we'll make it. im so proud of you.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @aelatus . . . the last standing mutual of all my og (close) mutuals. hello atlas! im not sure if you'll ever see this on tumblr since i know you don't log on much but you've been my mutual through three blog changes now; was there for my xstar-kidx era and kozmiixs stage. we've been through shit together, had banter about grammarly together, lost certain mutuals together, have changed blogs, changed themes, switched fandoms, fell out of love with fandoms. it's been a wild couple of years, huh? im so thankful we've met and got close in the ways that we did and that we're able to call each others close. your birthday is soon so in the case that i forget to say this on discord: happy birthday, the xiao to my albedo. live a life of freedom and joy, my love /p.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @izukxnnie . . . hara :((( i don't think you'll ever come to read this message but that's alright; maybe it's for the better kdfgh. i know i sent you that long winded ask on your blog already but i miss talking and interacting with you, even with all my awkwardness. im still so regretful of that one time i sent a request to join your world but then you were busy and i didn't read your messages until later that day as in hours later bc i was at school and idk if i ever responded to them in the end. maybe i'll send you a message on discord later. maybe i won't bc i'll be too sentimental. i really hope you're doing more than well, that you're happy doing what you do.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @ay-asterisms . . . the mutual who introduced me to so many others. i really have you to thank for what i have now, ay. truly. you brought me deeper into the hq fandom and introduced me to jennie, atlas, and others. we don't talk much but i'll say what ive mentioned before, you remind me so much of the sun. but not as the bringer of life and the ball we see every morning; a sun in the sense that you're a star closer to earth but still a star, still out there where there are multiple. the difference is that you just happen to bring a warmth that others can't provide for ones nearby.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @cryo-locket / @lo-cinno . . . you. im not even sure how we became mutuals, and my memory is pretty good. we just spawned in each other's zones one day and went yeah, alright. honestly, ive never said this to anyone, but you were one of the reasons i decided to focus more heavily on chinese. our interactions reminded me of why i wanted to relearn the language for myself: for the social connections. i genuinely love talking to you and always find myself laughing at our conversations. mainly because our timezone dif is so odd so it's always late in the evening when im on. your ebg was so fun and with all the pain it brought / hj, im so happy to have been part of it. thank you for putting up with my 2 am rambles and crack, hope you found laugh or two with them.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @pr3tty-jennie . . . you intimidated me when we first met. i still remember it actually: you had that kamninari theme and the most recent post on your blog was about how you couldn't remember the word for chandelier in english but knew it in french. you've been through so much, endured so much, and i respect you so much. always have, always will. your life story and the past don't define who you show as a person and im so amazed by that part of you. have a good day, good week, good rest of your life pretty girl :DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @june-again . . . it's crazy, you know? crazy how far we've both drifted off from the original fandom that brought us together? but that's character development. speaking of that, ive gotten the absolute pleasure of seeing you grow as a person and go through the motions of life. it's always chill talking to you, jokes come easy hah! you're an amazing musician, june. amazing person, amazing at writing, amazing at music; you're outstanding so in the words of Freddy fazbear from security break, way to go superstar! i knew you could do it and i know you still can.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @junjiie . . . the seungmin to my minho, the other half of 2min, the self proclaimed jeno to my renjun (have yet to be a dreamzen my b :(() and the no. 1 solieber. i was serious when i said you're the reason my other blog exists; you've been the biggest hype person when it came down to me going out of my comfort zone and writing. i was so nervous going up to talk to you at first kjfdhgkj but now, you're just another silly guy in my phone screen :DD thank you for sending all your updates about life and putting up with mine even though they never get answered- seungmin to not only my minho, but hyunjin too, let's keep being #Silly, yeah?? it's already the actual new years day when you're receiving this so i hope the year is off to a good start.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @sohyuki . . . MINT im hoarding the ask that you sent me on christmas day. im always so happy when you've shown up on dash and while im sad about how you've let tumblr mainly behind, i know it's for the better since well, interactions have been shit and probably will never get back up to the standard we held them to, even with all the effort put in. you are such an amazing all around person and like i said in my christmas note to you, keep writing. hoard it, feed into it, you have something wonderful going on with it.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @kamiyatos . . . user kamiyatos!!! lee!!! HELLO!!! it's always such a pleasure to talk to you and i hope you know that i keep your ramble about malleus' character and your plot idea for him in the back of my mind constantly, even though that ask has been lost to my actions of deactivation on my old blog. you're the biggest ayato fan i know who supports my works about him vocally AND you understand my vision on his personality... it's truly touching, y'know? thank you for being there, even when we don't talk as much as we should. i hope this year has been kind on you and the next one is even kinder.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @yinyinggie . . . yingyingyingyingerkjshkjfdg ok this may come as a shock, or maybe you already knew and were just playing along, but we used to be mutuals before the summer of last year. secret identity revealed ig?? eh im sure if you dig far enough into my dark past™️ you'll find smth about it so im not going to say anything about it :P but! one thing has stayed the same for sure: you are so easy and so fun to talk to and make conversation with. you know that ramble i left on the astro twerk form about feedback for the server? yeah. im 100% truthful. you've made something so inclusive and positive, have done to much to get tumblr active, please know that your efforts aren't wasted. im sure they feel like it at times but i appreciate it so much. and im sure others have the same sentiment.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @mhiieee . . . MHIEEEEEEEE MY SCARA FAN !!!! i love and adore your works so much and not to mention your characterization of scaramouche is top tier. ive got a lot to learn from you, mhie; i don't think you realize how much there is to admire when it comes to you as a person. you find such meaning and connection in the words and the world, the sincerity that comes with it,,,,, it makes me want to sob and roll around while also simultaneously wanting to take your brain apart neuron by neuron and psychoanalyze you. not in the freudian way though. ive had the greatest honor of being able to interact with you on not just one, but two!!! servers!!! i think it's a little silly how much i smile when you reply to smth dumb ive said on disc. have a great new year :))

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @ryuryuryuyurboat . . . RYUUUUUU literally the most stunning person to walk the planet ever like. hello??? our first interactions came from that ebg funny enough. does a little ★🪽 anon ring a bell? i only ever got around to sending you one sabo during that time but i hope you did enjoy what i came up with on the spot, i never was very good when it came down to kaeya's character. you are so intelligent and such an amazing individual, please always remember that.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @snobwaffles / @2nobwaffles . . . SNOB SNOB SNOB i always think of the pokemon when your name comes up. in my head, you will always be snom, the bug-ice type pokemon <33 IT'S SO FUN TALKING TO YOU and we haven't been mutuals for long either. im always thinking of the advice you left me when it came down to my rant about an irls party and there's something about the way you're able to appreciate and take note and find beauty int he smallest of things that get brought up. i wish you the complete best that 2024 has to off you. keep calm and snob on :DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @itaerae & @mins-fins . . . im putting the two of you together because well, i met you both at the same time through the server. while i can't consider it and, ive never really had such an inviting time in a server, much less a network, as ive had in zumblr. really, it's you two that i owe thanks to. our silly little convos are so fun and im forever thankful that ive found people to talk to on a server for once.

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @https-furina . . . the best server mother fr!!! omg it's so nice talking to you :((( i love the warmth of your words and how your emotions shine through text. it feels like i can practically envision the fond eyeball or the warm smile that you may or may not have on your face when messaging. i’ve had such a great time in the network and your pet names fjfbdjdbjdb have a great 2024 heh :DD

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @lethwal & @astrinityy . . . i don't think you guys realize how fun it was when we were all "debating" and accusing me of being a furry. honestly, i haven't had to stifle laughter like that in the middle of the night as hard as i did for a small while. not too long but long enough. it was a breath of fresh air and it was genuinely amazing to just be able to put the present on the back burner and play around like that. even though it was kind of late for me when that was happening- ignore that. it's always late for me when im online atp. i hope we can get past those baseless accusations you have both placed on me tehe. have a happy new years, you two. ALSO YIXIN!! GA-MING PROTECTION SQUAD RISEEEEE

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @/zumblr . . . there's so many of you and i can't find the proper words to express the welcome i felt when added to the server. it was nerve wracking, ive never really gotten around to talking to that many people or being that open on the internet before. it's funny how one summer can bring you out of your shell a little, eh? and all bc of some guys on screen lmao. thank you for the support and im happy to have met such wonderful people. thank you, again. @urielphix I AM. DETERMINED TO READ ADAD JUST YOU WAIT

𖣂 ┈ ⟡ ˒ @ everyone else, all my mutuals as of now and past, who weren't mentioned or mutuals who want to read something again . . . hello!! im sorry to disappoint by not adding you properly and for not giving a personalized thanks; it wasn't anything against it you at all. reason 1) i probably forgot as um. goldfish brain or 2) we just became mutuals pretty recently and haven't had the chance to really talk much / have been sort of long term but haven't talked much.

either way though, thanks for sticking around! im not the most. literate person. sometimes LMAO and im far from being a proud person of skill when it comes to the right words to say to people but im always happy when people find something worth it in my silly words. i hope we get to interact more in the future, as long as you can put up with my inconsistent (to say the least) replies and brain boggling posts that come from the depths of the midnight zone, that is. get ready for the ride that is this. clusterfuck of a blog place. LMAO,,,, if you haven't already scrolled through my stuff. if you have then um ready for more??? fkdjhgkjlghf

if you've made it to the end, thank you. and why?? im not that interesting or cool as everyone makes me out to be. if you had told 2019 me on tumblr that 4 years later, id be posting my works for everyone to see and also be proud of my own poetry, i would have laughed and called you absolutely insane. some of you have sat through me going through different gender and pronoun crises on dash back in 2020, and some of you ive only met this month.

whatever our situation is, i wish all the best for everyone . i’ll support you guys until the end of the earth and then some. have the happiest of happy new years, may your futures always be brighter than you say they are, and i’ll see you later 💛

sincerely — sol / jun

#🔎. navi !#// do not perceive me im going to go curl up in a corner now #// ive never been this sentimental or thought out a personal post quite as much as this one #// vulnerability isn't my strong suit ok???#// i wish these were more put together TwT

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