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glenngaylord · 5 months

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Negative Space - Film Review: The Zone Of Interest ★★★★★

Whenever filmmaker Jonathan Glazer releases a new film, and he has only made four in the past 23 years, I sit up and take notice. Sexy Beast, Birth, and Under The Skin made lasting impressions, and his latest, The Zone Of Interest, has profoundly affected me more than any other film I’ve seen this year. Based on the 2014 novel by the same name from the late Martin Amis, it relates a Holocaust narrative strictly told from the point of view of a Nazi leader and his family who live just on the other side of the wall to Auschwitz.

That family consists of the real-life Commandant Rudolf Höss (Christian Friedel), his wife Hedwig (Sandra Hüller, Anatomy Of A Fall) and their children, who live in a bucolic villa complete with a swimming pool, greenhouse and extensive garden. At the outset, we watch the Höss’ picnic and lead fairly quiet, normal lives. One could easily mistake this as a serene comedy of manners if not paying careful attention. The occasional offscreen gunshot or scream, however, belies the sun-dappled visuals. Look even closer and you’ll see the barbed wire, the guard towers, and in one indelible image, the smoke from a transport train making its way across the top of the frame as Höss stands proudly watching his brood frolic in the pool.

While we never witness the atrocities, the hellish soundscape provided by the incredible Composer Mica Levi and Sound Designer Johnnie Burn provides plenty of nightmarish context. Forget all the CGI blockbusters, THIS is the true masterclass in the use of sound. The horror at the center of this film is that of indifference, disassociation, and the “banality of evil”. Euphemisms such as "yield" to signify the number of the slaughtered, or the title, which blandly refers to the area outside the camps, allows all of us to somehow stomach the terrors at hand. This forced perspective proves unbearably agonizing.

Cinematographer Lukasz Zal (Ida, Cold War) contributes an endless series of carefully composed images, mostly wide shots and often static. The negative spaces he creates suggest the unimaginable just out of frame. We rarely get a close-up of the characters, instead we’re kept at a distance as they flatly go about their days. A scene of Höss meeting with engineers to review a more effective way to exterminate the Jews plays just as matter-of-factly as one of Hedwig gardening. When one of the children locks another in the greenhouse, one could easily find it amusing were it not for the fact that the older one makes gas chamber hissing sounds at his sibling.

Glazer takes a distancing, experimental approach to the material, somewhat as he did with Under The Skin, but the effect proves far more chilling here. He creates a rhythm with one seemingly mundane scene after another until you begin to realize that coat Hedwig tries on once belonged to a prisoner, or that her children are playing with teeth and not toys. Occasionally he interrupts the story with night vision scenes of a defiant young girl whose impact on the proceedings crystalizes later with an off-camera remark guaranteed to sap the film of any hope.

The performances for the most part seem functional and this feels clearly by design. Careful not to make the Nazis sympathetic, the actors’ flatness serves to make the audience complicit with their remove from the terrors unfolding steps away. We have room to reflect on who we have become or perhaps have always been, especially concerning the current state of things. We TikTok as the world burns. Martin Amis had previously explored a shift in historical perspective with his 1991 novel Time's Arrow, which also seemed to conclude that regardless of the point of view, cruelty and apathy persist. Amis and Glazer seem to say that Nazis don’t hold the copyright on disinterest or evil. Left unchecked and unexamined, we’re all capable of such behavior.

Despite this, both Friedel and especially Hüller create a pair of unforgettable characters. Friedel carries himself tightly as any military officer and establishes himself as a dull bureaucrat who loves his family and yet doesn’t hesitate to wield his power in horrific ways. The scariest moment in any film this year comes when he tells his wife how he feels about The Final Solution, and his last moment gives us a brief window into the bile churning up within. Hüller, for her part, proves even scarier as she clomps around the house in her heavy heels, quietly threatening one of her Jewish workers, and seething with entitled rage. At one point she laughingly, and without irony, tells her mother she’s known as the “Queen Of Aushchwitz”.

This year no other film made me ugly cry as much as All Of Us Strangers and no other film can hold a candle to the screenwriting craft and love for its characters as much as The Holdovers. The Zone Of Interest, however, despite feeling more like an art installation than a traditional movie, is a masterpiece which will stick with me forever.

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libramonthlyhoroscope1 · 2 years

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Watermelon in a dream

Watermelons are tasty organic products they have from the family known as Cucurbitaceous. As the watermelon showed up in your fantasy it is a positive sign and I will give you an outline

A watermelon is an enormous berry whose enlarged roundness and dynamic red tissue suggest ripeness and sexuality. Loaded up with sweet nectar-like squeeze and overflowing with seeds, the watermelon is a solicitation to exotic enjoyment and a commitment of fertility. Not at all like different berries which can be squashed rather effectively, the watermelon has a hard, waxy external skin whose green tone proposes new life. Watermelons develop on plants whose rings creep along the ground and twist around each other in a sexy hug. Dreams of watermelons, along these lines, mean love, desire, energy, and ripeness, family and collect.

Watermelons can show up in a fantasy in various ways. From eating the delicious watermelon through to picking watermelon and, surprisingly, moving a watermelon down a slope numerous clients have reached me about a few bizarre dreams yet here I desire to give knowledge into what your fantasy implies. I like to completely explore each fantasy meaning and strangely, watermelons require extraordinary work to deliver. I'm Flo and I will cover your fantasy of watermelons from an otherworldly and mental point of view. Inside the watermelon, we for the most part find dark pips, which profoundly addresses incredible karma. Presently, these pips can be either red or pink, yellow, white, green or orange. The watermelon is curiously a blossoming plant and is for the most part tracked down in Africa. Your fantasy could be related with various things and what I will attempt to do is separate that in a straightforward manner. So look down to track down your fantasy.

What is the general dream significance of a watermelon? To dream of a watermelon developing on a plant means that some type of abundance will happen as expected in your life. This could be the blooming of another relationship, becoming pregnant, or acquiring abundance or material achievement. In the event that you are female, you might dream of watermelons when you are pregnant or ovulating, which is your psyche making you aware of your productivity.

Longing for cutting into a ready watermelon shows that you are prepared to seek after a sexual contact or follow your enthusiasm. You are in a real sense cutting into the core of things to uncover the likely holding up inside. Establishing a watermelon seed in the fruitful ground in a fantasy connotes that you are putting resources into your future. You are laying the preparation for another task, making a monetary speculation, beginning another relationship or getting back to school. Sowing a seed in desolate soil proposes that you are engaged with an impasse work or poisonous relationship. Your fantasies won't prove to be fruitful except if you will continue on. Longing for having a watermelon developing inside you suggests that the additional opportunities blossoming have to do with adoration or innovativeness.

Longing for sharing a watermelon infers that you are available to making associations with others. Focus on individuals in the fantasy with whom you are partaking to get a sign of the aspect of your life wherein you will spread your abundance. Longing for becoming ensnared in a watermelon plant connotes that you might be up to speed in easygoing undertakings, disloyalty or monetary snares. Longing for hitting, detonating, dropping or obliterating a watermelon proposes negative mentalities toward your sexuality or an anxiety toward closeness that could backfire. On the other hand, it could recommend that you are moved by a blinding, dangerous desire which is obfuscating your explanation.

What's the significance here to fantasy about eating watermelon? Profoundly eating watermelon in my examination demonstrates that the time has come to impart your sentiments or express your feelings to someone. In profound terms, the watermelon suggests achievement, thriving and furthermore joy. On the off chance that you are cutting the watermelon in your fantasy, this can propose a relationship issue or issue. Assuming you are eating watermelon around the ocean it can propose that you are attempting your hardest throughout everyday life. Generally watermelons were gotten from the Nile Valley in India. In the long run, the watermelon arrives at China in today it is an overall natural product. There are different medical advantages related with watermelons which is very intriguing according to a fantasy point of view. On the off chance that the watermelon was terrible or didn't taste at that moment this fantasy can show that you are not precisely content with some part of your life.

As watermelons are very tropical natural products this is a positive profound sign. may regularly enduring check temperatures over 25° this demonstrates in a deep sense that in spite of all that you will actually want to accomplish. It demonstrates that you are involving the features of cash or family security in some unacceptable reasons on occasion. There are various assortments of watermelon and any can show up in your fantasy. As I've proactively talked about the watermelon shape and size is significant. Assuming the organic product is pink unripe it can recommend that it will require a long investment to get something back. This is because of the way that it can require as long as 70 days for a watermelon to gather.

What's the significance here to cut a watermelon in a fantasy? This fantasy implies that now is the right time to get reasonable in your life. On the off chance that I go to dream brain science, the model of "cutting" is by and large connected with slicing our connections to a person or thing in cognizant existence.

What's the significance here to see others cutting a watermelon? To see others cutting a watermelon shows you want to enjoy some time off and consider who you are associating with. It can likewise demonstrate a sexual relationship or on the other hand in the event that you are sharing the watermelon another person this can you are imaginative. Seeing an individual cut a watermelon with a sharp blade can predict that there is plausible of progress.

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bookofmirth · 2 years

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I'm used to forbidden love where it really seems impossible.

So far nothing indicates a forbidden Love really forbidden...

And I miss what every couple of Sarah's has, internal conflict.

If it was between Elain and some lesser Autumnal ferric could see it.

but Lucien doesn't think it's so much a political bomb to the point of getting in the way...

Lucien wouldn't be insisting either if he was turned down.

But also Rhys didn't like the way Az was going to do it, it seemed like it was going to be hidden and let Lucien visit thinking that he has no opponent in his partner's heart.

The other Courts may find it little disrespectful not to expect at least verbal rejection and the partner to give up.

But the Cortes will not lose a night's sleep because Lucien is being rejected and will not go to war.

Even Helion I doubt he does either...

At least that's what I think and I have the impression...

It's looking more like Az is the one who's going to reject Bond...

I always think that at no point in the book proves Elain is prohibited from choosing, and if Lace Rhys' Guess could be a mistake in the Feysand extra in Acofs it might be easier to believe Sarah would follow that path.

If the extra was Elain questioning her feelings and her point of view, I would believe more..

But Az the only thing we have is someone wanting to say, being 3 sisters, he has to be with 3 brothers and making it seem like Caldeirao is wrong because he wants the Mating Bond..

Right, the stakes have to be really high for forbidden love to actually work. We have to believe that these obstacles are actually so perilous, so fraught with danger to overcome, so extreme... and e*riel is not it. Not when a simple grown-up conversation would demolish the entire premise of those two being together being "forbidden".

But also Rhys didn't like the way Az was going to do it, it seemed like it was going to be hidden

OMG this!!!! It's not sexy to be incredibly immature and refuse to have an adult conversation! It's not a sign of love that someone refuses to resolve their pre-existing ties in order to be with someone else. There is literally nothing keeping Elain from being with Az, if that's what she really wanted. In fact, it seems to me that neither of them are super invested in the idea since they haven't done anything in 2+ years.

If the extra was Elain questioning her feelings and her point of view, I would believe more..

There are a million and one ways that sjm could have shown us exactly how Elain feels and what she wants, and she hasn't. You know what sjm has done? Show what Az wants, which is a mating bond - not Elain specifically, a mating bond:

Azriel couldn't stop it. The envy in his chest. Of Cassian, and Rhys.

he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond

Not "Elain near Lucien", not "Elain near another male", not "Lucien near the love of Azriel's life", not "the scent of Lucien near Elain" -

🎶 It's not about Elain 🎶

And hi - I know this has been brought up before, but no one was saying "forbidden love" until the POV, and yet the POV doesn't count when it comes to Az's interaction with Gwyn? Smells like double-standards...

idk why people want so hard for his POV to not count for anything since that's the only time that Aaron and Erica interacted in the nine-ish months of acosf. Since that POV is the only place in literally thousands of pages of text that gives them the one sentence from which they think can talk about ~forbidden love~.

I think a more disturbing thing about all of this is the intense need to victimize Elain. Why are people so, so desperate to show Elain as a victim all the time, when the text shows us that she's not? When she's pampered and coddled as hell? It gives me "rich white housewife whose main source of suffering is boredom" vibes, and idk if thats' really the mood they're trying to go for in theories, but...

#antielriel #ask #anon #acotar

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bus-stop-to-kpop · 3 years

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Target (Leedo x Reader)

Pairing: Leedo (Kim Gunhak) x Reader

Genre: Gang!au, it’s somewhat inspired by the ‘Bad’ stage break performance , a tiny bit suggestive

Trigger warning!!: guns, murder, death

Summary: After your last mission failed, the boss sends Leedo to make sure it all goes smoothly this time, but you to have a love-hate relationship

Word Count: 913 (a shorthie lol)

A/N: Even though it’s a gang!au it mostly focuses on the relationship between Leedo and the reader. I might make a little series out of it but idk yet. I have a lot of other things to finish first, just had a little spark of inspiration with this one. Have fun reading :)

~Admin J

As the song came to an end your dance partner excused himself, to go get a glass of punch for himself. Before you could decide if you should go get a drink yourself, two big hands wrapped around your waist and turned you around with quite a bit of force.

Your fist came into contact with an obviously toned chest and your eyes were met with fierce dark brown orbs. The man started lightly swinging the two of you to the slow rhythm of the new song that was playing.

"What are you doing here Leedo?" you spat at him, careful enough so that others wouldn't hear. The man whose green hair was hid under a fedora gave you a smug grin. "I guess the boss doesn't trust you anymore. After what happened last time..." He didn't finish his sentence but you were well aware what he was talking about.

"I'd like to make you remember, that it was your fault. If you hadn't shown up..." the rest of your words died down in your throat as you spotted the target not far away from you. He was dancing with a woman, probably his arm candy for tonight.

You quickly wrapped your arms around Leedo’s neck, to make it look like you were just dancing closely to the love song playing in the back. "I can see him." you whispered into Leedo's ear, trying to make it look as discreet as possible. The green haired male gave an understanding hum and slight nod.

For a while you and Leedo kept dancing and watching the target of the night, no words were spoken. The love song playing in the background seemed almost ironic. Honestly if Leedo wouldn't keep getting you in trouble with the boss, you would have to admit, that he looked incredibly handsome. Especially right now, in that well fitting suit and fedora. You would never dare to tell him that tho.

You nudged Leedo when your target left the dance floor and swiftly pulled him off the dance floor to take your position. The two of you watched as the target entered the elevator that would bring him up to his suite. When the doors closed you and Leedo moved up the stairs to the rooftop.

Everything was perfectly set up for you up there. It was almost like a dream, everything was going so smoothly this evening.

From the rooftop you had a perfect view of the target's balcony. "What's taking him so long?" Leedo sighed taking a look at the watch on his wrist. You didn't answer as you were busy looking through the scope of your sniper rifle.

As a sniper waiting was one of the activities you were used to. It gave a little thrill, when would it finally be time to shoot?

You didn't even notice the goosebumps forming on your skin, as you hadn't brought a jacket up to the rooftop. However, Leedo did and gently put his suit jacket over your shoulders. he realized the lack of complaining coming from you and he had to admit he admired how focused you were on your task. If it weren't for your bratty behavior he would admit you were pretty good looking.

Finally your target stepped outside onto the balcony. He was holding a cigarette between his lips and before he could bring the lighter up, a shot was fired.

The man stood still for a second before his whole body went limp and he fell to the floor. You waited for a bit, making sure the man wouldn't stand up again, before you started to pack up your rifle, with a content smile on your face.

"What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?" you asked while standing up from your position on the ground, wrapping his jacket around you a little tighter, as the cold suddenly came for you.

"I don't know. Something about seeing you work like that right now... It was kinda sexy." Leedo admitted in a low voice. A smirk spread on your face as you slowly walked closer to him. A light hum left your mouth before you gripped the vest he was wearing and pulled him into a kiss.

His lips felt hot on yours and the kiss seemed almost desperate, it was something you should have done a lot earlier. It was nice kissing him like this, in the moonlight it had something romantic.

The kiss lasted for a while, both of you fighting for dominance, but having to stop for air at some point. "We should leave." you whispered with your lips still on his. He hummed knowing well, you should leave before someone found the dead body. Leedo pressed one last kiss to your lips before grabbing your hand and pulling you down the stairs.

You successfully avoided the crowd of people that was still in the ballroom expecting the host to come back soon from his smoking break, unaware that he wasn't alive anymore.

Leedo led you to his car that was parked a few streets away. You sat down in the passenger seat and relaxed in the warmth of the car, with Leedo's suit jacket still around your shoulders.

The whole drive back to the headquarters he had one of his hands on your thigh, gently stroking it with his thumb. There was an exciting new feeling in your stomach, that you couldn't fully grasp yet, but it made you feel all giddy.

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

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Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

#long post #asked & answered #lol sorry this is so long and incoherent #the truth is that I really love these stories and their casts #and I think it’s v hard to extricate the characters from the cast #because they are so deftly and beautifully interwoven #but here are the characters I think are my favorites lol #loosely in order #tgcf spoilers #also this is why I prefer tgcf to mdzs tbh?#jgy is intellectually interesting to me and a good antagonist #but not personally compelling in the way jw is

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misssophiachase · 4 years

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Can’t Fight the Moonlight

For @klarolinefallbingo “Harvest Moon”

He’s her professor and she’s his student but can they resist each other on a university field trip unsupervised?

September 24 - University of Texas, Austin TX

“Is it wrong to want to inspect the professor more than the actual event?”

“That’s not appropriate,” Caroline swatted away her best friend while attempting to keep her attention trained on his lecture.

But it was incredibly hard to concentrate.

Katherine was right. He was infinitely explorable given his crimson lips, sexy stubble and crisp accent that made her tingle in all the right places but she was madly trying to focus on the assignment at hand.

Camping in rural Texas to see the harvest moon with her class was manageable. But sleeping so close to the hottie, astronomy professor in question was a whole other problem.

“Caroline?” She looked up distractedly into the gaze of their professor. She could only manage a robotic nod by way of response. “I was hoping you’d be our student representative for the excursion to Somerville next week?”

His blue eyes were equally imposing and imploring and his gentle tone hypnotising. Caroline didn’t have much choice but to nod stupidly again. He sent her a brief smile with those extremely kissable-looking lips then effortlessly continued his lecture. Caroline could hear her friend chuckling by her side.

“What’s appropriate again?”

October 1 - Somerville, TX

“You’re no slacker in the tent department,” he whistled appreciatively. They had arrived a few hours earlier and she’d gotten straight to work as the student representative making sure their sleeping arrangements were in order.

Until he decided to come over and distract her. Caroline felt her temperature rise just from being in such close proximity to her professor.

She knew it was wrong.

Very wrong.

But it was difficult not to react when his heady scent, a mixture of sandalwood and vanilla, was so enticing not to mention that navy henley he wore like a second skin over a rather fitted pair of dark, denim jeans.

Caroline closed her eyes momentarily, silently repeating the same mantra.

“He’s your professor and it’s not appropriate to drool over him. Repeat.”

“I, uh, meant that as a compliment,” he added, Caroline realising she hadn’t responded because she was too busy trying to regain some semblance of composure.

“Thank you, professor,” she managed to get out, but only just.

“I assume this isn’t your first rodeo then?” Caroline felt a blush creep across her cheeks wishing he hadn’t made a riding reference when all she could think about was doing that very thing to him.

Caroline was ashamed. It was as if Katherine had entered her mind and was walking around while subsequently making herself at home.

“Caroline, are you okay?” He asked, his concerned look not lost on her. She really needed to calm down.

“Yes, uh, fine,” she replied quickly. “No, I’ve been camping with my parents since I could walk. My father would be absolutely mortified with me if I couldn’t pitch a tent after all that practice.”

“And your mother?” He asked curiously.

“She, uh, died seven years ago,” Caroline stumbled, not expecting him to ask such a personal question. He was her professor, after all. His expression changed, sympathy she was used to, although there was something else intermingled with it she couldn’t quite identify.

“But I’m sure she’d be just as proud,” he smiled, making her stomach flip. “Given your vast, outdoor experience, I’m hoping you can teach me how to make a s’more this trip? My younger brother tells me there’s nothing better.”

“Your brother has good taste.”

“Well, don’t get too excited. Kol has taste but I think the jury is still out on how good it is,” he drawled. “My brother is a bit of a nomad. He’s been travelling the globe ever since he turned eighteen. You name any country and he’s probably already been there and made himself at home.”

“But yet you live here full-time and haven’t sampled our finest campfire cuisine yet?”

“Unlike my brother, whose work ethic is virtually non-existent, I tend to burn the candle at both ends.”

“Well, you know what they say,” Caroline teased. “All work and no play…” He held her gaze as the words tumbled from her mouth. It was not like her at all but her professor brought it out in her, or it was Katherine still playing with her mind?

It was his turn not to respond, his blue eyes reflecting exactly how she felt.

Needy.

Intense.

Imploring.

“Are you saying I’m a dull boy?” She couldn’t miss the husky tone in his voice.

“Well…”

“Professor Mikaelson, can you help me with my tent?” Hayley Marshall was batting her long eyelashes and brown, doe eyes in his direction.

She’d forgotten they were standing in a campful of other people. Caroline knew he had a fan club but she hated that her nemesis was one of them. Hayley had flirted with her ex boyfriend for months before dating him straight after their break-up.

“Uh, of course, Hayley,” he responded officially, finally tearing his eyes away from hers. “I’ll be right there.”

Caroline should have been pleased given whatever just happened between them was against the rules but all she felt was a dull ache of disappointment.

“So, all that eye sex was for naught I see,” Katherine offered, breaking Caroline from her professor-induced trance.

“There was no eye sex and, even if there was, I don’t think rolling around in a tent with our entire class present is the best look.”

“I’m sure our sexy professor would see it a different way,” she insisted. “He was ready to devour you whole and I, for one, wouldn’t have cared as long as you finally got laid after that poor excuse for an ex-boyfriend.”

“Shhhh,” Caroline growled. “Talk about indiscreet, Kat, I think they heard you in Australia.”

“You know how much I hate learning so please give me something good to bring back from this trip,” Katherine pleaded. “Someone has to get laid if I can’t.”

8 hours later...

A hush had settled over the camp as they succumbed to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

Caroline was wide awake. Her mind taking her back to his vivid description of the full moon closest to the autumnal equinox. Not that he needed words given the view.

Katherine was MIA as she attempted to get some sleep but was failing miserably. Caroline figured it was due partially to the gorgeous, French exchange student and her hopes of hot professor-student sex.

Caroline was so not going there.

She had an impressive GPA and no one was going to meddle with her grades. Or her plans for the future.

She took astronomy as an elective to compliment her medicine degree. Caroline had always been interested in space and the solar system so couldn’t resist.

Now, it seemed she couldn’t resist her professor either.

She pushed off the covers impatiently, deciding that some fresh air might help settle her insomnia. She was dressed in her plaid, flannel pyjamas but figured no one was around to care.

The first thing she noticed was the brilliant, harvest moon that they’d been studying earlier. It was something Caroline couldn’t deny given just how impressive it looked from this vantage point.

She made her way towards the fire, the embers glowing in the distance.

“And here I took you for stripes, not plaid.” She recognised his voice straight away and it unnerved her completely. “Couldn’t sleep?”

“You clearly shouldn’t judge a book by its cover,” she shot back, trying to ignore how good he looked in sweats and a black, Beatles t-shirt in the glow emanating from the fire. ”Much like I shouldn’t judge you for that Beatles shirt.”

“And what exactly is wrong with the Beatles?”

“They weren’t the Rolling Stones,” she offered, shrugging her shoulders. “But it’s okay if you want to hold onto that.”

“Here I was thinking that I needed to teach you about astronomy but clearly popular culture is lacking too.”

It was at that point that the playful banter ceased and they were just two people who shouldn’t be standing so close together.

“I should go to bed,” he insisted, his expression telling her anything but that.

“Me too,” she agreed but her feet felt cemented to the ground. They continued their stand off in the firelight, every fiber of their being saying they needed to part ways.

“We can’t do this.” He bit out but it was barely a strangled whisper.

“I know,” she murmured, glad that he held the same view about their untoward connection. “But I finish this subject in a month and then we won’t need to coexist in the same lecture hall anymore.”

“I could be persuaded,” he replied, eyeing her closely. “But, just so you know, I won’t be seen in the company of a Beatles hater. Although, there is something you could help me with.”

“Which is?”

“How about that s’more lesson?”

“Fine. As long as you don’t insult my Rolling Stones.”

She taught him how to make the perfect campfire snack that night. But after she finished his class they experimented much more than that. Their musical tastes never changed but their feelings and sexual appetite changed for the better.

Dr Forbes and Dr Mikaelson married five years later but the playlist was still a contentious issue.

#klaroline fall bingo #klaroline drabbles #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline fanfic #klaroline #let me know what you think #harvest moon #bingo

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non-sequitura · 3 years

Text

Sequitura’s guide to Kpop if for some reason you want to get into it

(Not recommended, the fandom culture is insane, though there are some nice songs)

These are songs that I really liked on the first listen and continue to like. Some songs take a while to grow on me, like “TT” by Twice. Those aren’t on this list.

They're not my top 100 - those would be too particular to my tastes and I tried to cover a range of musical styles.

* means that the song is a b-side (not the primary promoted song in an album) and thus probably doesn’t have a music video.

Oh My Girl (cheerful group with KILLER catchy melodies) -Windy Day -Dolphin -Coloring Book -Closer -(optional listening) Secret Garden if you really liked Closer -(optional listening) Nonstop if you like catchy dance tunes, but after some of their really good stuff it'll pale in comparison. It's good gateway Oh My Girl, though.

Blackpink (they do a lot of hype songs; cool vocal colors; actually not bad rapping for kpop) -As If It's Your Last -Playing With Fire -Lovesick Girls

f(x) (experimental girl pop) -Rum Pum Pum -Nu Abo

KARA (exhilarating dance tunes) -Step

Brown-Eyed Girls (they've covered pretty much every genre at this point, but boundary-pushing is their main theme) -Kill Bill -(optional listening) Abracadabra (not personally my thing, but the EDM bassline was super fresh at the time and still is) -(optional listening) Warm Hole (really catchy 60s-esque bop)

Taeyeon (former main singer in Girl’s Generation) -4 Seasons -(optional listening) Spark (not the greatest song in the world, but the lead-in to the chorus is great.)

T-ara (ridiculously cheesy dance tunes) -Roly Poly -Sugar Free -(optional listening) Lovey Dovey (if you loved Roly Poly)

Mamamoo (originally jazz, now... something else) -Piano Man -Um Oh Ah Yeah -(optional listening) Woo Hoo (the harmonies will blow your mind) -(optional listening) Decalcomanie (GREAT for early 2000s rock Amy Winehouse-esque fans. I'm only mildly a fan of that style, but even I can admit the vocal pyrotechnics are incredible.) -(optional listening) Pride of 1cm (a rap diss track about each other’s heights) -(optional listening) Girl Crush (HEY YOUUUU)

Spica (sadly short-lived group that was *really* musical; did jazz authentically and well) -You Don’t Love Me

IU (soloist whose style has run the gamut, but she mostly writes her own music, now.) -Eight -The Red Shoes -Blueming -23

AOA (originally a band concept who came back with uh... sexy, which isn’t a genre, but they still have good songs) -Heart Attack -(optional listening) Like a Cat -(optional listening) Elvis

Wonder Girls (retro who came back with a band concept) -Why So Lonely

Sunmi (her stuff can take a while to get under your skin. It’s quite dark under the surface, which I like.) -Heroine -Pporippipam -(optional listening) 24 Hours -(optional viewing) Noir, for the music video mainly

Yubin (former rapper for Wonder Girls) -Lady -Thank U Soooo Much

Girl’s Generation AKA SNSD (one of the original icons. You won’t find a more polished group anywhere.) -Paparazzi -(optional listening) Lion Heart (for those who love the 60s sound)

BoA (original soloist icon. Watch her dance and sing live.) -Mannish Chocolat -(optional listening) Woman

Itzy (currently conquering the “teen rebels” genre) -Wannabe -Don’t Give a What -(optional listening) Icy (it’s divisive, but personally I find the attitude super charming and the instrumental fresh and unique rather than irritating.)

Red Velvet (have some great RnB songs, as well as some lovely summer ones, as well as some “lol wut” ones) -Psycho -You Better Know* -Body Talk* -(optional listening) Russian Roulette (slightly off-kilter pop song and catchy af) -(optional listening) Look* (AMAZING 80s throwback) -(optional listening) Swimming Pool* (one of those super cheesy pop songs that becomes transdescent in the chorus) -(optional listening) Sassy Me* (this song is crazy) -(optional listening) Mr. E* (if you loved You Better Know) -(optional listening) Sunny Side Up* (if you loved Body Talk and Psycho)

2NE1 (one of the first “badass”-themed girl groups.) -I Am the Best -Fire -(optional listening) I Don’t Care (tackling slow/emotional)

Hyuna (a great performer who sells any song she’s in) -Trouble Maker -365 Fresh -Bubble Pop

CLC (they’ve unfortunately probably broken up now. Super talented group who’s bounced from genre to genre trying to get something to stick, leaving bops along the way.) -Pepe -Show* -No

Weki Meki (they’re slowly finding their niche, which is likely to be smooth club stuff) -Crush -(optional listening) Cool (I recommend watching their relay dance/dance practices and giving Lua some attention)

BOL4 (“indie”-ish band; not a big fan of most of their stuff) -Travel (but they did strike addictive gold when they went more rock)

Gfriend (Strings, guitar, and some of the best/most consistent vocalists in kpop right now) -Navillera -Mago

Dreamcatcher (a very unique, metal-influenced sound. Amazing dancing. Probably supported by the most humane company in kpop right now.) -Scream -Over the Sky* -Black or White* -(optional listening) And There Was No One Left* (idk why but this one hits me. It’s so sparse and yet makes you feel so disconcerted.) -(optional listening) Silent Night* (if you like the musical aesthetics of the song “Everytime We Touch”) -(optional listening) Can’t Get You Out of My Mind* (if you liked Silent Night)

Twice (“The Nation’s Girl Group”) -Fancy (kind of the only song of theirs that I adore; ask me for more recs if you really like them.)

Ailee (known as the Beyonce of Korea) -I Will Show You (an unironic “yasss” song) -Heaven (gee, this song is sad but never lets up with the power vocals as well, which I think works better than a straight-up slow ballad)

Loona (I don’t really click with them, but a few songs have hit me first listen) -Voice* (it sounds like a beautiful, brisk skate across a mile-long lake) -New (by Yves – it’s super flowy) -ViViD (by Heejin �� I love sassy swing tunes what can I say) -(optional listening) Heart Attack primarily for the music video

EXID (power vocals + brass + hip-hop? I don’t really get it tbh but good singing can sell me anything.) -Ah Yeah

After School (I don’t know this group but this song is a bop. Might be one of my top 20 favorites of all time and I only heard it yesterday.) -Bang!

Sunny Hill (very unique social commentary music) -Pray (warning: one of the most disturbing music videos I’ve ever seen, but definitely worth a watch if you have a strong stomach) -The Grasshopper Song (music video is nicer)

(now we move into territory with guys in it. I personally think male artists in Korea release fewer great songs than female artists, beccause the general trend is to be “dark” or “moody” compared to the more melodic trends in female groups. If you like strong choreography or braggadocio vibes, though, you’ll probably like them better.)

AKMU (singer-songwriter sibling pair and probably my favorite composers in Korea right now.) -Dinosaur -How People Move -(optional listening) Happening (somehow gives coffee shop music a driving rhythm) -(optional listening) Like Ga Na Da (this is a song about the alphabet. It is still insanely catchy.) -(optional listening) Melted (sad ballad)

TXT (this group has other songs, but I don’t like any of them nearly as much.) -Runaway (like the classic boy group sound set on fire. A really nice pre-chorus of all things. Love the guitar.)

Ateez (they might become the next BTS; not sure.) -Wonderland (like... pirate hip hop/rock. Watch with choreography.) -Wave (a surprisingly potent summer song) -(optional listening) Say My Name

Shinee (some of the most talented dudes in kpop) -Lucifer (probably the only kpop song to pull off a one-note chorus well. Sounds like it was produced by people who evolved in a different universe.) -View (super smooth, groovy deep house song.)

Oneus (their good stuff goes hard) -A Song Written Easily -Valkyrie

Stray Kids (don’t know the group; song is great) -Miroh

A.C.E. (one of the only kpop groups doing hardstyle and surprisingly enough, I like it.) -Goblin -Cactus

Seventeen (don’t really know the group; song is great) -Mansae

-1/6/21

#blog #non-sequitura-blog #list #1/6/21 #january 2021 #2021 #longform

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cagestark · 4 years

Text

A Hole in the Head//6

a gift for you <3 nff

Read here on AO3.

“Ned, I’m saying this with all due respect, but where the fuck is your galaxy sword,” Peter mutters into his headset, thumb mashing the square on his controller. During a brief lull in activity, he sips at a bottled water open on the end table. Who knew that some brands of water tasted more like water than the water that used to come from the sink at his apartment in Queens? That water had tasted like pennies. Peter truly is living the life.

“I lost it,” Ned says.

“Lost it, how do you lose a galaxy sword?”

“Very, very carelessly.”

“And you haven’t—goddamnit another floor with mummies, why aren’t my bombs on my hotbar?—you haven’t gotten another one why?”

“I’m not swimming in prismatic shards, Peter!” says Ned. “You know, when I said I wanted to co-op a more mellow game like Stardew Valley, I meant something a little more domestic. We could make a new farm together. Plant some parsnips. Get a dog—fuck me, fuck me, Iridium Crab! and the Fortune Teller predicted pleased spirits today? Pleased to see me die is more likely. This is doing nothing for my anxiety—”

“Then let’s get the fuck out of here,” says Peter. Ever since he’d moved in with Tony and Ned had gone across the country to go to college, these game sessions were some of the only time the two boys could spend together. Tony was offering to fly them to see each other every chance he could, but with Ned’s hectic grad school schedule, only god knew when he’d ever be free again. Peter didn’t want to waste a moment of their time together playing something Ned didn’t like. “I want the farm, I want the picket fence, I want a pen full of chickens and cows and pigs. You want domestic, I’ll give you domestic.”

Movement in the upper corner of his dark television while he exits to the loading screen. He turns around to see Bucky shifting against the wall, an expression on his face as close to amusement as he can get. Sometimes, Peter forgets he’s there. The guy is that quiet.

Peter is starting to feel that comfortable.

“Will you sit down or something?” Peter asks. “I feel like you’re some ghost perpetually waiting for me to turn around so you can scare me. No, not you Ned, one sec. Just, come sit on the couch or something. It’s less creepy.”

Peter turns back to the television, feeling his face redden. Their interaction in the driveway in the driveway earlier that day is still fresh in his mind. Do you want me to say something to him, sweet thing? Plant the seed that he should keep you company while I’m gone? Tony had murmured into Peter’s ear, one hand reaching down to palm his ass. I feel like a daddy trying to set up his boy for a playdate.

Peter had been simultaneously horrified and relieved. Less relieved at the stoic look on Bucky’s face at Tony’s offer, his insistence that nothing will happen between them while Tony is gone. Peter’s no quitter, but he can’t help but wonder if he isn’t chasing something that can never be caught.

Bucky doesn’t move for a long moment, so long that Peter is sure that he won’t and consequently puts it from his mind—those parsnips aren’t going to plant themselves—but then he feels the change in the air as Bucky crosses the room in a handful of long, sure steps and takes a seat on the other cushion of the loveseat. Peter shifts over to give him more room, but they are still close enough that he can feel the obscene heat Bucky’s body throws off. It saps all the breath from him. And why the fuck are the guy’s thighs so thick? They’d be the perfect platform to straddle and grind on into oblivion. At his prolonged silence, Bucky lifts both of his brows in a challenging gaze.

Clearing his throat, Peter looks away.

“—roommate is back from class, so I have to get off.”

“What?” Peter presses one palm to his headphone, like that will drown out the sight of Bucky which seems to stimulate every part of Peter’s brain and make it hard to do even unrelated tasks like hear. “Dude, we just started playing. Are you leaving me at the altar?”

“The console is in the living room, man,” Ned whispers. “I don’t want to talk where people can hear me. Can we reschedule?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter sighs. “Tony is out of town so I’m probably not going to sleep. Hit me up.”

Ripping the headset off of his head, Peter lets it drop to the floor, watching as Ned disappears from their voice chat together. Out of the corner of his eye, Peter can see Bucky on his phone, texting. A perfect storm is brewing: boredom mixing with temptation, the electricity lingering in the air like the promise of thunder. He turns until he’s facing the assassin, lifting his legs up to put his socked feet in the other man’s lap. It says a lot about how far they’ve come that all Bucky does is roll his eyes, lifting his arms to text above Peter’s legs.

“Bucky, I’m bored.”

“Find something to do,” he mutters, thumbs moving furiously. The expression on his face might mean he’s responding to bad news—but for all Peter knows, maybe he’s reading about the sudden miraculous implement of world peace. With Bucky, it’s impossible to tell if he’s feeling displeasure or nothing at all.

“My something to do is in California.”

“Call him.”

“He’s in a meeting; he’s going to call me afterwards.”

“What do you usually do when Tony’s gone?”

“Jerk off and wait for him to come back.”

“You need a hobby, kid.”

“Says the guy whose hobby is following me around 24/7.”

“That’s my job, not my hobby,” says Bucky flatly. “Trust me, no one would follow you around for fun.”

“Do you really want to see me when I’m bored?” Peter asks. He stretches and is suddenly hyper aware of how close his feet are to Bucky’s crotch. Compared to the larger man, Peter’s feet look downright dainty in his white Fendi socks. Bucky's hand could probably wrap itself entirely around one ankle with some room to spare. Even Tony must feel small compared to him—but maybe not. Tony is larger than life in many ways.

“Do you really want me to see Mr. Stark spank your ass raw?” Bucky asks. “Again?”

Peter scowls, pointing his toes to dig them into the inside of Bucky’s thigh. “Quit treating being an asshole like it’s your job.”

“That’s not my job,” says Bucky, grinning without mirth. “That’s my hobby.”

Groaning, Peter throws an arm across his eyes, unprepared for how long these three days without Tony might last. Phone pressed to his chest to wait for his older lover’s call, Peter lets himself daydream, thinking about all the ways he could be spending his time if Tony had taken him to Miami. Sure, Peter hates everything about the sun and the heat and the humidity, but Peter loves the impersonal luxury of hotel rooms, and he loves the amazing sex he’d likely be having in one right now.

Something touches his shin. He jerks, glancing around his arm to see that Bucky had relaxed his tense pose and let his forearm rest against Peter’s leg. The other man shifts, trying to find a more comfortable position in which he doesn’t touch the younger man, muttering, Sorry.

“’s fine,” Peter says, putting his arm back over his eyes. After a moment, Bucky’s arm returns. There’s nothing sexy about it. Literally, Peter shouldn't be able to find anything arousing about someone resting their arm on his fucking tibia, but it’s the first time Bucky has touched him—without tackling him.

Progress, Peter thinks gleefully.

Now there is no chance he could daydream about anything except Bucky. The tactical pants that likely conceal a variety of weapons, including one of the cock-shaped variety. The broad chest that Peter felt pressed flat against his back when they were in the alleyway. The strength he exudes, the domination. He shifts a little, feeling his cock stir.

In Bucky’s lap, one of Peter’s heels drifts too close to his crotch and rubs against the distinctive bulge of his soft package. Bucky jerks, and it’s Peter’s turn to pull away. He keeps his arm over his eyes, his chest struggling not to heave as excitement thrums in his veins. His mouth falls open a little and he hopes that he looks to be on the verge of sleep. At the other end of the couch, Bucky doesn’t call him out. Waiting with baited breath, Peter makes himself count to one hundred before shifting again. This time when his heel brushes Bucky’s groin, it is distinctly less soft.

He hears Bucky’s intake of breath. Fingers brush his socks while the man adjusts himself. Surely, Bucky can’t truly believe that Peter is asleep—he’s a legendary assassin on the east coast. Pulling the wool over his eyes must be next to impossible. Still, he offers no acknowledgement. This time, Peter makes himself count to two hundred before stretching a little, twisting so that his heel drags up the entire length of an undeniably hard cock.

Peter’s breath catches when Bucky takes his ankle in a firm grip, stilling it. He can’t help the unhappy sound that comes out of his mouth—but Bucky isn’t pulling him away. He’s just holding him still, the arch of Peter’s foot pressed against his cock. The sounds of the other man’s breaths are loud in the quiet of the room, but only because Peter himself isn’t breathing. Can’t breathe, not when he flexes to feel the grip around his ankle tighten.

Then, beneath his touch, Bucky’s cock twitches—

The phone on Peter’s chest bursts into wild buzzes. He gasps, jerking up into a seated position and the phone slips from his chest down into the couch cushions. For a moment, he doesn’t even reach for it; all he can do is take in the sight at the other end of the couch.

Bucky has his head tilted back to rest against the couch cushions, his long dark hair having fallen back away from his face to give Peter a perfect view of the incredible profile, the straight nose, the eyes closed with lashes dark like ink against his cheeks, the mouth full and soft and just a little parted. Bucky’s chest rises and falls in a way that makes Peter think that he’s counting breaths, and the size of the bulge in his tactical pants has Peter’s teeth clicking shut, salivating on instinct.

Bucky turns his head slightly and lets his eyes crack open, the blue swallowed up with the darkness of his pupils. The gaze is challenging, and for a moment his hand tightens around Peter’s ankle before letting go entirely.

With trembling fingers, Peter slips a hand between the sofa cushions and retrieves his phone just in time to answer Tony’s call. His voice is far too breathless when he says Hello.

“Getting started without me, Pete?” Tony asks, voice low. With the volume turned up all the way on his phone, Tony’s voice is audible in the room even when he isn’t on speaker.

“No, sir.”

“No? Then what has you sounding like a cheap phone sex operator?”

“Just—my imagination getting away from me, I guess,” Peter says. And hey, it’s not entirely untrue. After the punishment he’d received earlier in the week, Peter isn’t eager to lie and meet the flat of Tony’s hand again, even if comparing the infractions would be apples to oranges.

“One second, Pete, let me get into the Jag.”

At the other end of the couch, Bucky is back on his phone. When Peter strains his neck, he sees security camera footage for all over the mansion, one of Bucky’s favorite things to cycle through when his hands have nothing better to do. The rise and fall of his chest is steady, his cock already growing softer whether it’s from lack of attention or through sheer willpower.

That just won’t do.

Peter hears the soft sound of the Jaguar’s car door shutting, and then the phone clicks while security measures are enabled—tech to keep people from tapping the call as Tony switches to the car phone, tech to tint the windows.

His legs creep back into Bucky’s lap. Bucky’s fingers hesitate in their rhythmic swiping, the muscles in his jaw tensing, but he doesn’t push Peter away. In for a penny, in for a pound, Peter figures. He turns so that he’s on his side and drags the ball of his foot from the bottom of that bulge in Bucky’s pants to the top, eyes glued to the handsome, angular face as the eyes slip shut, teeth clenching.

“Tell me about this overactive imagination you have,” Tony asks in his ear. Beside him, Bucky shudders. On the phone, fabric rustles—maybe just Tony loosening his tie. But the older man was right about one thing: Peter does have a very vivid imagination. His mouth goes dry imagining Tony taking out his cock in the parking lot of a respectable business, safe knowing that no one walking by will be able to see, even if they press their faces against the glass. “I know how your brain gets carried away. Let daddy decide if it’s going to get you into trouble.”

“What’s the only thing either of us have been thinking of lately?” Peter asks into the phone.

On the other end, on the other side of the country, Tony hums. “Bucky,” he says.

On the sofa, Bucky’s eyes open. He turns to look at Peter, eyes flickering between his face and the phone clutched in his hand. For once, his expression is easy to read, even if Peter doesn’t understand it: the lines between his brows, the narrowed eyes, the downturned mouth. What has him confused, Peter wonders, when Peter’s been nothing but obvious about his obsession over the guy?

“Yeah,” says Peter, narrowing his own eyes while his brain whirls and whirls. “I can’t help it.”

“I know you can’t, sweet thing. Where’s he at? Nearby, no doubt?”

“Yeah, he’s here.”

“Am I on speaker phone?”

“No, sir,” Peter says. The space between the truth and what Tony wants to hear is just wide enough for Peter to stand on.

“And how are you getting along?”

“Not as well as I’d like, sir,” Peter snarks.

Tony laughs. “I don’t want to hear a single complaint, kid. Not when you’ve got him all to yourself in that house and I’m stuck three thousand miles away in board meetings.”

“Hey, we could be there with you,” says Peter. He presses down more firmly onto Bucky’s cock and revels in the breath that hisses out through the other man’s nose. The phone in his hand has gone dark from inactivity, clenched so tightly in one fist that Peter thinks it might shatter. “I begged to come. Remember?”

“I’d be getting even less done than I already am.”

“Business not going well?” Bucky has given up on holding his phone, letting it slack in his hand though the other comes down to reinstate its death grip on Peter’s ankle. Everytime Peter drags the arch of his foot against the man’s cock, Bucky’s hand tightens like he’s torn between bringing the pressure closer or pushing it away altogether. Peter’s own cock is hard and aching, but it’s tolerable. For now.

“It’s going well enough. I’ve just been, ah, distracted.”

“Now whose imagination is getting carried away,” Peter breathes. Bucky’s hips jerk upwards, a tiny aborted thrust before he tightens the grip on his control, teeth gritting, but the brief crack in the man’s icy exterior sets Peter’s blood on fire. He presses his lips tight together, hoping that no whines slip past. Shifting the phone to hold it between his ear and shoulder, he lets his free hand down to palm at his cock. “Will you tell me about it, sir?”

Tony hums. “Thinking about all the fun you and Bucky must be getting up to in my absence.”

“Does that turn you on—daddy?” The words almost stick in Peter’s throat. While Tony loves the power trip of the title, not everyone is into the kink. The last thing Peter wants is for Bucky to be disgusted (or worse, to infantilize him). But Bucky has heard Peter call the man daddy before, heard it through the walls while they fucked with him stationed outside. That day in the alley, he’d mocked Peter for it. But watching the way the man’s neck go lax, his head slipping towards one side, Peter thinks that maybe he brought it up because he likes it.

“You know it does, brat,” Tony says. His voice is low, a near growl. “Too long in those meetings and my mind goes wandering, thinking about coming home to find you and him tangled up in my sheets together. I doubt he’s ever sank his cock into a heat like yours, sweet thing. When you’re jerking off thinking about him, how does it go? Are you riding him, Pete?”

“I think of it every way, sir,” Peter says. He wraps his hand around his cock as best as he can through his sweatpants, thumb finding the head so that he can tease it even while at the other end of the couch Bucky grinds his teeth and breathes through his nose like he’s trying not to commit a murder—or cum in his pants.

“You’ve got too much time on your hands.”

“Yeah, yeah, I need a hobby. Keep talking, please,” Peter asks, slipping a hand beneath the band of his sweats. Bucky turns his head, eyes dark slit that narrow in on the shape of his hand jerking himself off beneath the fabric. He bares his teeth in a hiss, like an animal on the verge of striking out. The risk of being bit only turns Peter on more, feeling the way his cock jerks and spits beneath his palm.

“Are you touching yourself, sweet thing?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Hands off.”

Peter makes an indignant noise, hand stopping its motion though he doesn’t pull it from his pants, loathe to end the contact that feels so good. “Come on, Tony!”

“At-at!” Tony tsks. “You heard what I said. Leave that cock alone.”

“Or what, sir?” Peter grumbles. His thumb drags across his head and he shivers. Some rules are worth breaking, no matter the consequences, he thinks. This ache inside him has been building since he first made eye contact with Bucky on the other side of the dining room table. Not giving in would take herculean effort, and Peter is hardly known for his self-control, not when for the last several years, he hasn’t had to have any.

“I’ll lock you in a cage and let Barnes be in charge of the key. There’d be no sweet talking him to get out early, would there, Pete?”

Peter groans at the thought, and Bucky seems to react to it too, his head falling back to thump against the headrest of the couch. His chest rises and falls in a tempo just short of heaving. The sight of him, aroused, possibly struggling for control—it’s the last push Peter needs to begin resuming touching his cock. Cage be damned. It’s always better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission anyway.

But before he can blink, the hand around his ankle strikes out and grabs him around the wrist. Bucky wrenches Peter’s hand from his sweatpants (the band snapping against his abs narrowly avoiding the head of his cock) and pins it to the couch. Peter cries out a little, struggling against the grip on instinct, desperate for contact back where he’s aching, but fighting against Bucky is like pushing against a brick wall.

“Let me go,” Peter whispers away from the phone, barely moving his mouth.

Bucky’s eyes narrow and his grip only tightens, bordering on painful (like that’s going to do anything to the situation in Peter’s pants except fan the flames higher). Not one to give up easily, Peter uses his other hand to reach down. Bucky pushes Peter’s feet from his lap and drops to the floor near-silently, his phone falling to the couch cushions. His other hand takes Peter’s last free wrist and pins it up over his head. They’re close enough now that their breaths mingle, and it’s everything Peter dreamt of. Bucky is so fucking handsome, and the look on his face is dark and ravenous and borderline unhinged.

The fact that Bucky is still following Tony’s orders, going so far as to force Peter to obey them to—it nearly drives Peter right to the brink.

“—ter? Ignoring me isn’t doing your ass any favors, Mr. Parker.”

“Not, not ignoring you,” Peter pants into the phone. The change in his voice is distinct. He sounds absolutely wrecked, and there’s no way that Tony doesn’t notice. The Jaguar’s car phone is so good that Peter can pick up the sound of Tony’s breath leaving him in a whoosh. “Please, sir, let me touch myself!”

It isn’t clear who Peter is begging, whether it is Tony or Bucky or both. Bucky presses down against Peter’s wrists more firmly, sinking them into the soft couch in an obvious reply. Over the phone, Tony’s response is a stern, “No chance, sweet thing. I want you nice and desperate for me when I get home.”

“I’m always desperate for you,” Peter hisses, eyes locked with Bucky’s as he pulls on the man’s vice-like grip to no avail. “Please.”

“No,” Tony breathes, voice alight with laughter. Cruel bastard. Peter groans. His hips arch upwards, thrusting against air while his feet scrabble against the couch cushions, struggling for purchase. “But keep begging. I’m getting off on it. Fuck, kid. You’ve got me so hard. You better hope there’s some napkins in the glovebox so that I don’t get cum on my suit.”

“You’re going to cum?” Peter whines. “No fair, sir!”

“No fair would be me telling you all about what’s getting me off,” Tony says, voice smooth though not unaffected. “Thinking about coming home to find you and Bucky in my bed, you riding his cock with your hands tied behind your back because you’re always a brat, my fucking brat, and surely he’s already had to punish you for something. Maybe he’ll make you face away from him while you bounce on his cock so that he can hold on to your bound hands like you’re nothing more than some wild horse that needs broken in. And I tell you this, kid, I don’t know who I’d envy more—him for being inside you, or you for getting to ride his cock.”

Bucky’s chest stops heaving, his eyes going unfocused as they stare right through the younger man, lost in thought. That line is back on his forehead, his brows low. For a moment, the grip around his wrists slackens, but Peter is so stunned that he doesn’t even make to pull away. Because he understands now. Bucky didn’t know that Tony wanted him, too, and that revelation shocks (and arouses) the older man to his very core.

Bucky likes Tony.

Bucky likes Tony!

This—is an opportunity if Peter’s ever seen one.

“You’d bottom for him?” Peter breathes into the phone, eyes raking over Bucky’s face to see whether the concept appeals to him. His eyes are more present now, searching Peter just as intently, so cold that they burn. “I’ve never even seen—have you ever bottomed before?”

Tony laughs. “The last time I took it up the ass was before you were born, kid, but for him? I could be tempted.”

There comes a noise, the sound of a few sharp raps of someone’s knuckles on glass. Tony sighs and there comes the rustling of fabric. All sound cuts out (while he mutes Peter’s call, presumably) and when he returns, Peter can hear the frustration in his voice. “Sorry, kid. All work and no play. I’ll Facetime as soon as my meetings are done for the day. Until then? Absolutely no touching your cock, Peter.”

Peter groans, letting his head fall back against the arm of the sofa, gritting his teeth at the endless three days that still are ahead of him. “Daddy, please—!”

But then Tony continues his sentence, and it sends Peter’s heart pounding. “But! That doesn’t mean someone else can’t touch you. Don’t say Daddy never did anything for you. I’ve got to go, sweet thing. All my love.”

The call ends.

And Bucky lunges.

#winterironspider #starker #nff #ahith #cagewrites #winterspider

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makeste · 4 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 270: Harry Potter Rules

Previously on BnHA: Present Mic punched Ujiko in the face! It was awesome. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo of it. Meanwhile Endeavor saved Mirko’s life by setting her on fire (reason #15 why I will never become a superhero), and Aizawa did some sexy Spider-Man poses for our viewing pleasure while fighting the rest of these Noumus which are still annoyingly refusing to die. Anyway but back to Present Mic, the undisputed MVP of this chapter. Because you see, in addition to the punching, he also used his Loud Voice attack (literally the actual attack name; Horikoshi will steal all of my jokes and leave me with nothing) to smash open Tomura’s Noumutank! Which I really thought was going to immediately lead to Everyone Dying, but apparently I was wrong! Anyways so yeah, right now Tomura’s just lying down all heart-stopped and not-breathing. Which seems very anticlimactic, BUT I JUST HAVE THE CRAZIEST FEELING that maybe, just maybe, the super powerful villain lad who just spent the last three arcs slowly upgrading his bad self just in time to wage war on the world as the story reaches its climax, might not actually be dead though.

Today on BnHA: DON’T MIND THAT OMINOUS ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, IT’S NOTHING, IGNORE IT. Ahem. So first of all, as some of the bolder among us dared to speculate, Tomura is not, in fact, dead. He’s still very much kicking it with his nipple-less pecs and truffula tree hair, putzing around in his mental landscape filled with crumbled buildings and disembodied Theatrical Gesture Hands. For some reason he doesn’t have shoes or a shirt in his mental landscape, which was a very interesting choice on Horikoshi’s part, but we will speak no more of it. Anyway so to sum things up, Tomura’s family is all “TENKO WE LOVE YOU” and he’s all “oh hey” and then AFO fucking appears and he’s all “COME HERE MY BOY” which is exactly as creepy as you would expect, and for some fucking reason TOMURA ACTUALLY DOES COME HERE. And lol it turns out Ujiko gave him AFO. Like the quirk. Yes, that quirk. So long story short, Tomura is about to be possessed by AFO’s evil soul or some shit, and to put the cherry on top, fucking Deku out of fucking nowhere, MILES AWAY, is all “HE’S COMING.” Because of course he can sense it, because AFOFA IS REAL, AND FUCK ME THIS IS ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST, FUCK.

I know this chapter has been out since like 1pm, but I’m not getting to read it until 5 hours later because for once in my life I was trying to be responsible and actually get some work done on a Friday. I thought this might lead to less oh-god-I-still-have-to-get-that-done anxiety hovering over my weekend, but instead it just led to oh-god-I-have-to-get-the-chapter-recap-done anxiety hovering over my now! anyways so this might be a bit rushed lol

(ETA: yeah turns out this wasn’t exactly the kind of chapter you could just read quickly and get on with your life lmao. so, then!)

what a nice panel of Present Mic taking out the trash

you heard ‘em fellas. the doctor is secured. good job everyone we did it, manga over, congratulations. now to cut away to a two-page spread of Dark Shadow comically smothering Dabi’s flames with a giant stock pot lid, and that’ll be that! what a wonderful, extremely short and strangely underwhelming arc in which we haven’t even seen the actual main characters do anything yet. but I guess we don’t need them since the main bad guy is lying dead on the floor! everything is just so fucking dead and secured!! do you think if I keep repeating it enough Horikoshi will finally be like “okay geez I get it” and reveal his hand already

Mic is now ordering Ujiko to power down the Noumu, which again, I’m sure he will definitely do without a fuss since after all the good guys have clearly won the day

OH SHIT OH FUCK

rip X-Less. gonna just take a moment here to imprint your beautiful face onto my memory before it turns into a pile of ash. your face, I mean. not my memory. well my memory more or less already is a pile of ash but that’s neither here nor there ANYWAYS

:’)

what are these little sound effects. I think that’s supposed to be a buzzing noise?? anyways whatever it is PLEASE STOP IT, I AM NOT HAVING A NICE TIME SO STOP

ffff Horikoshi sure has done an excellent job of setting the mood in such a way that all of these panels of X-Less doing incredibly mild things are sending my stress levels through the roof. like is anyone else reading his lines more or less like “WELP, TIME FOR ME TO DIE, ANY SECOND NOW, WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, HERE IT COMES”

(ETA: when is this poor sweet innocent man going to fucking die already.)

LET’S CUT BACK TO MIC ESCAPING THE IMMEDIATE VICINITY

I have the clearest mental image of Horikoshi standing by with a walkie talkie in one hand and one of those remote bomb detonation clicky switch thingies in the other, patiently waiting to receive the go-ahead once all of the important characters have gotten to safety

anyway so now Ujiko is talking again

no fear everyone this is just the beginning of his verbal noumu deactivation sequence. nothing to worry about. everything is fine

yes for some reason his code phrase to put all the noumus back to sleep involves going into rambling detail about his work researching quirk singularities and shit. it’s fine. it’s not a big deal. code phrases are just like that sometimes all right

just ignore the increasingly panicked look in Mic’s eye as he slowly realizes he was way too fucking keen to just leave the “dead” Tomura back there with his laser-eyed hero buddy. anyway so let’s continue learning all about the Quirk Illuminati or whatever the fuck

okay so... he faked his own death? 70 years ago, at age 50 or thereabouts? I mean, that’s interesting and all I guess. not saying I wouldn’t be thrilled to spend the rest of this chapter learning all about Ujiko’s boring evil life. I don’t need to say it because it’s implied on account of Ujiko sucks and is the worst. so yeah can we get a move on though

oh shit?!?

WHOSE NARRATION IS THAT IN THE BOXES TOMURA IS THAT YOU OH GOD OH GOD

also, comparing AFO’s smile to a buddha’s really sent an actual shudder of disgust down my spine for some reason lmao. I personally would have steered that comparison in a different area, maybe less to buddhas and more to Norman Bates from Psycho, but to each their own

oh shit wait up

okay but this is actually a pretty big revelation though, isn’t it? because it’s been hinted for a while now that AFO and Ujiko had some method of duplicating quirks (the fact that all the Noumu share the same regeneration quirk was the biggest clue, but there was also John-chan’s quirk, as well as Hood’s Muscular-esque quirk), but as far as I can recall, this is the first time we’ve had it confirmed. though to be fair I wasn’t joking when I said my memory really has been shit lately sob

anyway so for real though, can you really call it a BnHA chapter if you’re not spending a good chunk of it being hopelessly confused over the ownership of some ambiguous thought bubbles. WHO IS THIS. I do seriously feel like it’s Tomura, because he’s the wrathful one, but another hallmark of a typical BnHA chapter is me constantly questioning everything I know as I muddle my way through

(ETA: yeah I’m pretty sure it was him. still impressive how vague it is though! it could also potentially be Ujiko, Mic, or even Deku. hopefully Caleb’s translation on Sunday can shed some more light on this. though he wasn’t really helpful last time this happened lol.)

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

didn’t... you just... say that “preservation” was your quirk?? what do you mean that you wanted it?? CAN YOU JUST FINISH YOUR SENTENCES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

anyway so here’s a summary of this chapter thus far

present mic: okay goodbye forever x-less

x-less: what a strange thing to say! :) also is it just me or is this machine fucking staring at me

present mic: turn the noumu off please

ujiko: seventy years ago... society... singularity... he’d be 120 years old now...

??: [REPULSIVE FEELING EW WHO’S TOUCHING ME]

ujiko: all for one has the smile of an angel...

??: [SON OF A BITCH I’M SO FUCKING WRATHFUL]

ujiko: my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk...

all caught up?? grand. also btw is anyone else super disturbed by the fact that Ujiko recognizes Mic as being “Kurogiri’s friend”, like holy shit though? how would he know that. I can’t think of any implications of this that aren’t super disturbing tbh

anyways back to -- LOL WHAT THE

Horikoshi Kouhei: [furiously scribbling notes to himself at 3am] BUT WHAT IF THE FOLDING CITY FROM “INCEPTION” HAD MORE GIANT HANDS

jesus christ. is this like some mental representation of what shit is currently like in Tomura’s mind? lots of crumbly destruction and traffic lights and the house his father built (isn’t it? I feel like it looks familiar), and SO MANY HANDS, HE JUST LOVES HIS HANDS

anyway so at this point it’s a coin toss whether or not anything in this fucking chapter is ever going to make any kind of fucking sense! but here I am voluntarily along for the ride while Gene Wilder sings that creepy boat song right in my ear!

DSFKLDSJ

ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN FLOATING IN A JAR FOR THREE MONTHS TBH. that is some luscious quarantine hair

SDFLKJSDLFKJSLKFDHLKSDJFLKJLKSDJL:FKJSDL:KJ

(ETA: that Tomura in the top left may be my new favorite panel. look at him. all he is is a nose and chin and ~*~HAIR~*~.)

HANAAAAAA AHHHHHH OH MY LORD OH MY LORD! OKAY I’M FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION NOW FOR REAL! NO MORE JOKES! EVERYBODY SHHHH!!!

FFFFFFFFFF

“LOOK AT ME I’M A MAIN CHARACTER I CAN HAVE STRANGE VISIONS AND TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE IN MY DREAMS, SOUND LIKE ANYBODY ELSE YOU KNOW?” TOMURA SHUT UP I DON’T HAVE TIME TO ANALYZE THIS SCENE THEMATICALLY RIGHT NOW I’M TOO BUSY BEING SAD ABOUT YOUR DEAD SISTER WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CALCULATING THE ODDS OF THIS SOMEHOW BEING FORESHADOWING FOR HER NOT REALLY BEING DEAD. OH GOD, OH FUCK YOU GUYS, I’M FREAKING OUT

WHAT KIND OF YOUNGER BROTHER DOESN’T CALL HIS OLDER SISTER “NEECHAN” TOMURA WHAT KIND OF ANIME CHARACTER ARE YOU

AT THIS POINT HIS HAIR IS ITS OWN INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WOW

HORIKOSHI PLEASE STOP SHAKING THIS CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE OF SIBLING FEELS SO VIGOROUSLY I AM SO TERRIBLY AFRAID OH GOD

“BY THE WAY TENKO I JUST HAVE TO SAY, YOUR MAN BOOBS ARE SERIOUSLY IMPRESSIVE AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.” YES HANA I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY. HOW ASTUTE OF YOU TO POINT THAT OUT. BOY HAS BEEN HITTING THAT BOWFLEX

WTAF IS HIS HAIR THOUGH SERIOUSLY??!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS DIALOGUE BUBBLE ACTUALLY COMING FROM THE HAIR ITSELF. TOMURA. TOMURA BLINK TWICE IF YOU ARE IN DANGER

SJJKJSKJSW

TENKO IT’S ME YOUR GIANT MOM I’M BEHIND YOU HONEY TURN AROUND AND LOOK HELLO HI I LOVE YOU DO YOU STILL WANT TO BE A HERO

ffff why is he so pretty all the time lately

you are very handsome with your billowy hair and ken doll abs, you. sure are having a lot of trippy visions for a dead guy too there

HEY!!!!

WHO SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED -- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST -- ffffffffff I need to be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes fuck

okay well. but since it is getting late I guess we’ll just pack these feelings up real quick and put them inside a box and neatly label it “feelings I have about Tomura having a vision of his mom and immediately turning back into his innocent little boy self in said vision as soon as he sees her.” not too sure about the contents of this box yet but I will have to explore them thoroughly at a later date

oh hey it’s this asshole

“THAT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO, DAD.” jesus Kotaro. get over it

and also guess what, if you go and get Tomura all riled up so he wakes up grumpy and disintegrates the first hapless guy he sees, I will hold you solely responsible for that poor man’s death. I’m just warning you now

oh my

I remember this conversation going a bit differently the last time, but hey

LOOOOOOL

HIGH FIVE. PUT ‘ER THERE

WHY WOULD YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED LOL DID YOU NOT JUST TURN TOWARDS HIM WITH A SINISTER MURDER FACE LIKE TWO SECONDS AGO. LIKE WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN

OH NO OH SHIT

FUCK ME, GUESS IT WOULDN’T BE A DRAMATIC BNHA DREAM SEQUENCE IF THIS ASSHOLE DIDN’T MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT SOME POINT OR OTHER NOW WOULD IT

-- HOLY SHIT?!

RECORD SCRATCH, FREEZE FRAME??

holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit

holy shit. fuck

...okay so

is this implying that AFO has been Noumufied? but that doesn’t make any sense, does it? he already had multiple quirks. what other advantages could there be to him becoming a Noumu. well whatever I’m just typing out all of my thoughts real fast for the time being and I’ll try to make sense of them later

or is it because he sees Kurogiri as a father figure? and AFO also?

or is he using Kurogiri’s quirk????? IS HE SOMEHOW WARPING INTO TOMURA’S DREAMS

because that third one, to me, is what this panel most looks like? Tomura says he looks like Kuro, but he doesn’t though. Kuro has a very distinctive face which this is very much lacking. instead it looks to me much more like one of Kurogiri’s portals, with AFO’s buddhaesque smile sticking out. so yeah. I got nothin’. except, again, fuck

(ETA: yeah I obviously have more thoughts about this now, but we’ll get to those in a bit.)

...

.......

-- !!!!!!!!!!LKJLK!JLKJ

oh shit oh shit oh shit

OH SHIT

NO BABY NO DON’T DO IT

GASP

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AHHHH

I HAVE LIKE TEN THOUSAND THOUGHTS IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW YET SOMEHOW MY MIND IS ALSO STRANGELY BLANK?? I DON’T EVEN KNOW?? I’LL JUST KEEP READING

KOTARO ARE YOU TRYING TO HELP HIM OR ARE YOU PULLING HIM TOWARD AFO??

OH HE’S PUSHING HIM BACK!! OH SHIT IT’S A WHOLE FAMILY EFFORT

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AFO IS GOING TO TAKE HIM OVER AND THEY’RE TRYING TO PROTECT HIM OH GOD OH JESUS

BABY TENKO EYES OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE DEKU THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS DEKU FOR A MOMENT

NO TENKO!!!

FUCK -- DOES HE NOT CARE? HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN BUT HE DOESN’T CARE?? IS HE TRULY SO PROFOUNDLY MISERABLE THAT HE’D GO AHEAD AND ACCEPT THIS FATE WILLINGLY

NO SOUNDS. NO WORDS. YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW

except that I have the most incredible, chilling, disturbing, electrifying feeling that my mental soundtrack is about to start blaring AFO’s theme from the anime on full blast...!

LOOOOOL SOB OH FUCKK

THE MOST TERRIFYING, DRAMATIC KIP UP YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE!! THIS IS IT, IT’S BEEN REAL FRIENDS, THIS IS WHERE WE DIE

-- ARE YOU REALLY, TRULY, GENUINELY SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW

NOW OF ALL TIMES IS WHEN WE FINALLY CUT TO THE TRIO, I’M CAN’T, I’M FUCK

AND THAT’S THE END AHHHHH

holy shit holy shit holy shit. wow

okay so. I don’t really have any sort of neat and tidy way to wrap up this hot mess of a recap lol. so, just... have a whole mess of all of my stupid whirling thoughts

those first four pages really did nothing to brace me at all lol

okay, so. here’s my understanding of all this, I guess. basically we’re going full Harry Potter rules here. AFO horcruxed his quirk, and from the looks of it, a piece of his soul (perhaps even the main piece) along with it. he then passed it on to Ujiko to implant into Tomura

horcrux!AFO then wakes up, and takes over Tomura. so then my understanding is that he’s going to be possessed by him. and I also got the impression that he’s fully aware of that, but just doesn’t care at this point. he knew his family was trying to warn him, but he didn’t care. and that look in his eyes when he disintegrated them just seemed so fucking resigned to me, though. jesus

but now the more interesting thing! so we can liken Tomura to the resurrected Voldemort from book 5 and onward, reborn after transferring his power into a new vessel. which would go a long way toward explaining how AFO was able to sense what was happening from all the way in Tartarus; because if we liken it to Voldemort and his horcruxes, it would mean that he still has a connection to them (similar to the connection between Voldemort’s mind and Harry’s)

but so now comes the really interesting thing -- what does this then imply about the connection between AFO and Deku? because you’ll recall that AFO alluded to a similar mental connection back when Deku first activated SIXQUIRKS. and now we have Deku somehow being magically aware of AFO’s sudden resurgent presence in this chapter. but why?? if the reason AFO and Tomura share a psychic link is because of a shared quirk, why would Deku also be experiencing the same link? the answer is, he wouldn’t -- unless he, too, had the same shared quirk

in other words, I think All for One for All is fucking confirmed you guys. I can’t think of any explanation for this other than that OFA is also a horcrux quirk. a little piece of AFO broken off and embedded in his brother, and then passed along through the generations. and now residing within Deku

anyway. so that’s a hell of a lot to ponder lol. I guess we can at least be grateful for the fact that we’re not waiting two weeks for chapter 271 like Hori originally planned. can you fucking imagine. what a fucking asshole lol

133 notes · View notes

2ndblogg · 4 years

Note

Hey! Just read your hot take on novel!wangxian and I absolutely agree. I'm gonna have to say here that I believe it boils down to the fetishization of homosexual men in a lot of the fandom culture that surrounds mlm shipping, as you said it's a space for a lot of women to experiment with their desires and whatnot, but I think therein lies the breaking points between reading novel!wangxian as a good, healthy relationship vs. reading it as a very flawed and toxic one. As an LGBT person, reading the way the author dealt with their relationship made me extremely uncomfortable, it just really feels like something that is written by someone who is more invested in using her queer characters for satisfying her and her reader's own pleasure than a well-built, strong relationship between two characters. Not to take away from the novel in some other aspects, I believe that novel!wwx is a much better, much more nuanced character than what he is in cql, but when it comes to wangxian, I think the intentions are very different for each of them. To each their own, I guess, but I do find it very troubling that some people in the fandom have a really hard time admitting that novel wangxian is not even remotely healthy.

Absolutely.

And can I just say how glad it makes me to see that not everyone is praising this book for it’s lgbt representation...

But I guess that’s also why I just occasionally feel the need to scream my frustrations into the void or try to make sense of the novel.

And why I try to be understanding and accepting of people’s opinion of the novel and not take it ‘personally’ (in the sense of sitting there thinking “holy shit this is how they view ME, this is what they think of ME” etc).

I was in fandoms back when they were really a place dominated by straight (homophobic) women and realism or lgbt representation wasn’t on anyone’s mind (and the occasional dude butting in to say that’s not how sex works or bottoming is experienced was ignored or told to get out). I experienced this change to fandoms being more of a lgbt space, of people becoming aware that media can shape your views of groups of people, of people becoming aware of their fetishizing of fictional gays vs. their prejudice against real life lgbt people etc.

And tbh MXTX just writes like one of those, she writes wangxian like everyone wrote their gay relationships around 2005 and earlier; clear power imbalance, clear roles and attributes that are divided into ‘manly’ and ‘feminine’, certain physical attributes (like the female self insert character aka the bottom being pretty and slight and weaker and shorter), men/the penetrating partner can’t really be raped so anything the woman/bottom tries isn’t really ‘bad’, the male love interest is forceful and self centered but ONLY because he’s so in love and since he’s emotionally stunted he has to express that through sex, men/tops NEED sex and it’s rude/mean to deny them that, the girl/bottom isn’t THAT horny or in charge of their own sexuality but wants to please their partner and what they really get out of it is the emotional aspect, decisions need to be made for them because the dude/top just knows better, the girl/bottom is childish and flirty and the guy/top suffers through it until he finally snaps and shows the girl/bottom who'sboss etc etc. (honestly homophobia and misogyny is so tightly knit in this kind of fiction, if it wasn’t so frustrating it would be very interesting).

Tbh I disagree with novel!wwx being more nuanced (despite a lot of ppl whose opinions I really respect also feeling this way), because I simply cannot seperate him from the wangxian relationship. All I see are tropes and stereotypes applied to make him ‘work’ in the context of the wangxian relationship instead of an actual personality...

To me, in CQL WWX is clearly the main character and you love his interactions with LWJ and want more of them and value them, wheras in the novel most of the time WWX plays second fiddle even when a scene should technically be about him and LWJ’s presence is incredibly suffocating, because he’s always being controlling or at the very least influencing WWX.

I also don’t feel like WWX has much of a character arc/growth. We’re essentially told he had one but the only thing that really actually changes is him hating himself a bit more and letting LWJ smash..., and I guess: he’s less independent than ever, he’s more isolated that ever...

I’ve called novel!wangxian a relationship between an abuser and his victim, because you can find evidence of that in the text. Not because I think the author wanted to portray an unhealthy gay relationship. Like you said, she was fetishizing and wrote for a similar crowd. But to me that ‘realization’ helped...I still don’t see how people can call it a masterpiece but I can at least understand hyping something you like up...

And like, badly written gay relationship or not; gay/straight,man/women, I see how people can find it hot. Exploring your sexuality through fictional characters isn’t necessarily a strictly straight girl phenomena. I probably have read fic that was exactly like this, I can’t judge anyone for it. But no one prints out the last PWP they read and goes, “this is ideal lgbt representation and nothing will ever be this good, the fact that it includes rape makes it so realistic” like????

(Is that part or an effect of the woke and purety culture? you can’t say ‘i like this book but it has flaws’ or ‘i’ve enjoyed this but it’s not up the feminism or lgbt acceptance that i preach/live’ so you have to pretend it’s flawless?)

And like, I do think novel!wangxian is a nightmare when it comes to lgbt representation and I do believe this is largely due to a cishet woman writing about gay men and fetishizing them (the fact that a lot of peoples arguments why novel!wangxian ‘is better’ boils down to ‘there’s kissing and sex’ is also pretty telling). And I am frightend and worried by some peoples response to it.

But is it really fair to see it as just that? It’s a problem sure, but that same thing happens in straight media (which I am admittedly not well versed in). Stephanie Meyer didn’t set out to write Edward Cullen to be a creep and non of the teenage girls that went crazy over him viewed it as such...Reylo fans (aside from some of them proclaiming Finn to be the real villain and saying it’s racist and misogynistic to not find Kylo Ren hot) found a way to view him threatening her as romantic and sexy, Loki fans that didn’t ship him with Thor usually fell into the camp of “he would be a perfect boyfriend” or “what if this OFC was his slave and he raped her everyday <3″... like ignoring/glorifying/romanticizing behaviours or exploring what kinks you might have through the safety of fictional characters and fictional settings isn’t JUST happening when it comes to ‘the gays’...

And not just specifically in fandom spaces either, a lot of ‘romantic’ movies include inappropriate touching, the boy/guy knowing better than the girl what she wants etc. And I absolutely do believe that that’s something that normalized these things for a lot of young girls and guys (I don’t want to get into this too much, I’ve really seen a change in the past few years, but before that it was pretty common for young boys to believe they need to keep pursuing and pressuring a girl that has said no, girls truly thought boys could die of blue balls, girls thought it was their duty as good girlfriends to let their boyfriends fuck them even when they weren’t in the mood, that they couldn’t talk about what they want in bed or what they don’t find enjoyable because ‘sex is for boys and girls get a relationship in exchange’ etc.).

And in much the same way movies have only relatively recently begun being called out for that, it’s also still pretty recently that they’re being called out for having their one queer coded character be a pedophile and a murder or whatever...Like, society as a whole becoming aware of these issues.

But do authors that publish their work with a specific target audience in mind have a responsibility to think about the effect it might have on them? (And I can already hear loud screams of ‘no way, it’s not your fault if your audience isn’t smart enough to understand that this bad thing is bad’, but I actually do believe in a way they do. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t write whatever you want, just maybe take a look at HOW you bring your point across. (We do KNOW people are influenced by what propaganda they’re consistantly fed. I mean, you wouldn’t write a pro-drugs childrens book...) )

What if the author isn’t aware of their bias and prejudices? Or their target audience isn’t their actual audience?

And do we, society and media, judge female and male authors differently when it comes to romance and sex in fiction? (The answer is yes btw) But also, where do we draw the line at calling something ‘badly written’ and calling it toxic? Can it be both? As I’ve said before, a lot of people claim that only the physical intimacy scenes of novel!wangxian are bad, because they’re badly written and OOC, some say the book as amazingly written and only the wangxian relationship is bad because the author doesn’t know how to write gay men. In my ‘hot take’ I essentially said that’s not necessarily bad writing so much as it’s simply an (okay, unintentional) toxic relationship. And would this relationship still come across as toxic (or badly written, whichever you want) if we didn’t know the author to be a cishet woman? Or if a gay man had written it? (my personal, eloquent answer for this is: yes, but differently.)

Which was really all just a rambly way to get to my point of: it’s not just fetishizing of gay men, it’s also the homophobia and self-inserting in a safe situation.

You can literally replace WWX in the novel with a female character and it wouldn’t change a thing. The author takes such an effort into building up this power imbalance in every aspect of their life that if WWX were a heroine nothing would change in this (sexist/ancient society) setting.

(And clearly this is something that appeals to people if you look at the amount of female!WWX fics...)

Not even the sex scenes. There are maybe two allusions in all of them combined that WWX might also have a dick but like, you can’t be sure and it sure as hell doesn’t need stimulation.

(and again, that could be written as a kink...but it’s just not.)

CQL is a gay love story. MDZS at it’s core is none of that.

But I also very much agree with your ‘to each their own’, like here I am criticizing and trying to find explanations and whatever, but at the end of the day it doesn’t matter why someone might like (or write) a book like this, I vastly prefer CQL!wangxian but people have their own reasons for not doing so.

The ‘problem’ really only lies in, as you said, people not being able to accept that it’s not a healthy relationship. Or claiming it to be perfect lgbt rep.

And because my brain can’t shut up today:

I also can’t stop thinking that the way some people ‘glorify’ the book as due to their age and ‘inexperience’.

When I was a pretty young kid and got into fanfiction, there was nothing but completely OOC!whump to be found in the first two fandoms I was in. And I loved it. It was YEARS later that I thought I might like to read something with the characters being...in character. What I’m trying to say, in different stages and phases of your life you might enjoy different things, for different reasons...and obviously, in that moment, you won’t think about ‘what appeals to me here/should this appeal to me/etc’.

I don’t mean inexperience as ‘sexual inexperience’ here, though of course that could be part of it, but also like, inexperience with this genre (is this the first book like this you read, or did you just read 50 in a row that all had the same unhealthy vibes?), with lgbt people and issues (do you know any lgbt people or is your only image of them either the cute boy you can’t have and don’t want to see with another girl or grown men in full kink gear in front of children during CSD? and also: do you think ‘i like this’ and that’s the end of it or do you notice how many people idolize this objectively unhealthy relationship and won’t allow critique on it...)

I...just wanted to say thanks really.

I just can’t stop rambling apparently and I know I mostly just repeated what you said or what I already said but in longer... I just really do feel very strongly about novel!wangxian and the perception of them and have actually at times felt very personally...worried/affected, by people’s acceptance and love of them and I just... have to try and make sense of it...

#i'll be honest rambling like this is very therapeutic and I'm glad some of you read the last one and send asks and agreed #and it's why i'll (try to) put this in the tags too...i like discussions but seeing ppl NOT going 'it's true love/perfect rep' love that #mdzs #mdzs meta #mxtx critical #i guess

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demivampirew · 4 years

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Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 12

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Triggers: smut; self-pleasuring.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog @lunedelorient @michelle-1185

Henry was coming back home after training in the gym. It's been a long day for him, shooting since morning, horse training, running and then muscle training, but he finally could rest. He had two days free from shooting, so he would use those days to relax. He was on his doorstep looking for the key when he noticed that Kal was acting strange. He began barking and moving around anxious. He tried to calm him down but failed. He opened the door and saw that the lights were on and there was noise coming from the kitchen. Kal ran to that part of the house with Henry screaming his name, scared that it may be a burglar and might try to hurt his bear. He went after him, and went he reached the room, he saw you petting the dog, who was more than excited to see you and moving his tail like crazy. You saw Henry and showed him a big smile. Gosh, there were no words to describe how much you missed him. He smiled back, still surprised by your presence. -H...hi! - he saluted you. - I didn't know that you were coming back. - Hi! Yeah, I didn't tell you because I wanted to surprise you, I hope it doesn't bother you that I showed up without a notice.-you said slightly apologetic - Of course, it's ok. I'm so happy that you're here. I missed you a lot.-he replied coming closer to you, cupping your face with his hands and kissing you. You shared a long kiss before speaking again. - How did you get in? - he asked curiously - I remembered the code for the security alarm and then I enter from the window next to your computer. Don't worry, I didn't break anything, other than maybe a few laws - you joked and he laughed. - I might have to call the cops then.- he continued your joke. - Ok, you call them I tell them I've been a bad, bad girl... naughty, naughty girl - you said in a sexy tone and he laughed again and kissed you again. Your surprise included a homemade dinner. You prepared him some fresh pasta with tomato sauce and basil. And for dessert, you bought a cheesecake. While eating, you two talk about the shooting of the show and celebrated the fact that you got the role in the movie. The gave you the call the day that they told you they would and the same day they send Brian - your agent- your contract so he could check if everything was ok and two days later you signed the contract and then were free to go back to England because shooting would start in the second week of May. So you still had several weeks free before you had to go to Washington D.C. to shoot the film. After dinner, you went to the couch to be more comfortable and continue talking some more. - Have you seen what's on the pen drive that I gave you? Sorry, that Bond Girl gave to Mr Bond - you corrected yourself grinning. - Nope, I thought that it was empty. It didn't cross my mind that could have something in it.-he replied surprised. - I left something in there that I thought it might help you those days that I was in LA. Henry looked at you for a moment and then stood up and desapeared from the room; moments later, he was there again with his laptop on one hand and the pendrive on the other and you laughed amused. He sat next to you and put the pendrive and open the folder inside of it. He almost chocked when it saw its content. There were twenty-five pictures of you practically naked. They weren't normal selfies, those were artistic pictures taken by a proffesional photographer. One of those pictures was a close up of just your lips and the thumb of a man touching your button lip. Other was of your body from the neck down, with one arm covering your boobs and your other hand placed between your legs. There was another in which your entire naked body was visible, even your nipples, but throught a shadow. All of those pictures had one thing in common, it had been perfectly taken so if people saw them, they wouldn't knew it was you. But Henry did; he already could recognize your body easily. - Do you like them? - you asked him curiously - I'm speechless. - he replied, breathless. You smiled. - They were taken by my friend Beth. She's also a photographer. She had a presentation and the model failed her so I came to the rescue. She made sure no one would know it was me. - And in this photo - he said pointing at the first photo- whose thumb is it? - he questioned, he tried to made it sound like if it was just curiosity was he was clearly jealous. - That Scotty. He's the lead singer and bassist of her band. We're all great friends. He was there for that picture, the first picture we took, and I was fully clothed I must clarified, and then he left.- you explained and you saw him relax a little bit, but he still was jealous for sure.- We laughed a lot after that picture because he was eating cheetos before that and left my lip greasy.- you laughed shaking your head and rolling your eyes. - It's a shame that I didn't see them before, but in the same time I'm grad I watched now with you because that photo would have fucked me up. - The idea was for you to look at it and imagine that being your thumb and grabbing my lip like that. To help your imagination.- you smirked.- Ok, so you didn't see the pictures, so that means that you just jerked off to porn? -you asked laughing and he blushed - Oh, common! You're thirtysix! I know you watch porn and pleasure yourself. Remember the bottle of lube in your nightstand drawer? Don't need to be ashame or act embarrased with me, it's ok. - you assured him and he blushed even more- What's your favorite kind of porn? Threesome? Two girls together? Big titties? -you asked laughing -Oh, c'mon! Tell me! Cosplay? Cosplay! You like cosplay porn! - you said after noticing how tense he got when you mention the last option. You laughed and gave him a big kiss on the cheek and a hug- I apologize if I made you uncomfortable with my questioning. I just want you to know that it's ok, I'm not going to judge you for liking porn and that stuff. - It's ok.- he replied and kissed you passionately. He stopped, pressed his forehead againt yours. - Do you want to go to the bedroom now? - Oh. - you replied in a sign that you were about to deliver bad news.- I... I can't. - Why not? Did I do something wrong? - Henry asked worried. - No baby.- you assured him stroking his face and giving him a kiss- It's just... I'm on my period.-you admited and pouted - Imagine how frustrated I was when I was about to leave to see you and I found my favourite panties ruined with an awful red stain on them, just like my plans for our first night together.- Henry laughed, relieved that it was just that and kissed you again. - It's ok. We don't have to do anything. Let's just go and kiss and cuddle. - he offered as he caressed your face with the back of his hand. - Why not? Just because I can't do anything doesn't mean that you can't - you said winking. - You had a long day at work, you deserve some release.- You grabbed his hand and walk him to the bedroom. Once you made it into the room, you made him took his clothes off and lay on the bed. You took your shirt off, revealing a nice lavender colour demi bra that made your breast look fantastic. You were sitting in the mattress, between his legs. - I hope this view helps you.- you said pointing at your boobs. - Oh, it does. A lot. - he replied grinning. - Well, grab the lube.- you ordered him - Ok.- he answered curiously as he did what you ask him to. -Here it it.- he said handing you the bottle. -Oh, no, I don't need it. It's not for me. - you replied smirking devilish. - But you asked for it.- he told you, not understanding what was going on. - The lube it's not for me, it's for you. I want you to pleasure yourself as I watch.- you explain with the same expression as you put both of your hands on the bed in a relaxing manner. - What? That's not sexy! - he objected with a facial expression that showing that he thought that that thought was insane. - I'll be the one to judge that and I think that I'd be extremely sexy! If I pleasure myself in front of you, would you think that it not sexy? - That's be extremely sexy, but it's different. - Why? - Because you're a goddess. - Yes, like you're not some kind of greek good or even hotter. - you said rolling your eyes and then smiled at him. - Common baby, it's ok. It's only me and you here. - Ok. - he sighed. - But, I don't even know how to do it. - You don't know how to masturbate, really? - you replied raising one eyebrown in disbelief. - I know how to do it. It's just. I don't have porn. My mind is blank at the moment, I cannot concentrate to do it.- he explained. You sighed and order him to put lube on his hand. - I'm going to help you. Take one good peak at the girls and then close your eyes. - he starred at your breast for a minute with a big smile on his face and then closed his eyes- Imagine me lying on the bed. I'm wearing nothing but this bra and a matching thong. I began to slide my hand slowly throughout my entire body, stroking my soft skin in the process. I put my hand inside my panties and start to rub my clit.- Henry already had reached his member and began to stroke it slowly.- With my free hand, I start playing with my boobs, grabbing them underneath the bra and pressing my hard nipples, as I faster the pace with my other hand. - henry imitated your narrative and stroked himself faster and faster, moaning loud as he started to reach climax.- I start to get out of breath as I realized that I'm about to reach the orgasm- you said almost moaning- and then I stop. - What happened? - said Henry opening his eyes, I little frustraeted. - Close your eyes, I've not finished yet.- you ordered him. - I stop and the I open my eyes and see you standing at the door, watching me. You're smiling. You're enjoying it. I invite you to join me with a sing of my hand and you come. I take you shirt of and you lay on the bed. I kissed your chest and stroke it. Use your other hand to stroke your chest as your touch yourself, imagine that it's me - you urged him pausing the story. - I won't feel the same as your soft hand.- he replied. - It doesn't matter, it'd feel good, just do it.- you commanded him again and then continue your narrative- I toss off your pants and briefs and grab your cock and start to licking it slowly up and down, sucking and tasting the tip like a lollipop. You go crazy when I go down on you, you love how I take my time to let you know how much I enjoy having that marvellous part of you inside my mouth. - you noticed by his heavy breathing and the loud moans that he was about to finish, so you rush to the grand finale you'd thought-. Now, I take your tasty peace out of my mouth and I place it between my boobs. You start to fuck them, first slow and then faster...faster...faster...-you imitated the rhythm of his stroking, almost moaning with every word, until he finally realesed, moaning so loud that made Kal start barking. You both laughed. He screamed to the bear that everything was ok and after a few minutes, the puppy went back to sleep. After going for a short shower, Henry came back to the room. You already changed into something more comfortable for sleeping and he put on and old t-shirt and briefs and got into bed with you. You kissed for a little while and then you place your head on his chest. He hugged you and you fell asleep.

#henry cavill #fanfiction #henry cavill x reader #demivampirew

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totallypathet · 4 years

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Episode Three

First of all...what the fuck was that challenge. And what the fuck was the logic to judging it?! I spent so much of this episode just being confused. I think it would have been so much better if they were allowed to come up with their own ideas and characters, instead of having this really narrow space to work in; that was bizarre to me. Like Just Jan could have done a really delusional, high energy character who was the worst singer in the world; that would have been funny! Instead they stuck them with these bizarre storylines that made no sense, and had very little humour in them. Idk whose choice that was but it was a choice. Anyway, let's get into the rundown!

1. Aiden Zhane

I am not living for Aiden at all. Her attitude in both episodes has let a lot to be desired for me. And also, that runway? What was that? I could buy that dress on Asos, glue some bows to it and have that look. The concept was cool, the bows falling on her? Cool idea. But if you're going to do that then you need to Do It, yknow? Like it would have been cool if she'd had a huge wig completely made of bows. Or if she'd had an umbrella and made it look like it was raining bows, or something, that could have been really cool! It could have been amazing and she took a really easy way out. Disappointing. And her performance was dull. She deserved to be in the bottom more than Nicky Doll.

The only thing I will say for Aiden in this episode is the way Brita and Redacted behaved towards her was really uncool. They did that whole "you didnt lead us at all", and then told her that they carried her? You know that if she had led them they would have totally thrown her under the bus and said "well we do this professionally and we wanted to do this, but she was the leader and she made us do that". It was totally a damned if you, damned if you don't; and that was really unfair.

2. Brita

Guys, I am Bored of Brita. I am over it, and I am underwhelmed. I haven't seen anything from her that I've enjoyed! Her looks have been dull, she's not that funny, and I dont like the way she behaves (like I said with Aiden). She wont be next to go home, but hopefully she wont be long.

3. Crystal Methyd

STOP TRYING TO CHANGE CRYSTAL METHYD! I'm so sick of them going "oh her makeup is always the same", when it has been different each time!! She has a style and a brand, but it's not the same face!! Aiden Zhane does the same fucking face, none of them have picked that out! Loads of queens come in and they only have one face! Not mentioning any names Silky Nutmeg Ganache and Roxxxy Andrews. They got away with it because they were beauty mugs and that's the type of drag this show is biased towards. Crystal Methyd is an artist, let her do herself! That runway look was ugly though. Having said all that. Her face was gorgeous, I loved her makeup, I just thought that look wasnt very her! It didn't suit her somehow, it wasn't right. But she tried really hard during the improv, and I think she did a passable job! She honestly should have been safe, fight me. I just really hope she doesn't change herself to please the judges bc she has such a great vision and point of view, and I don't want her to lose sight of how great she is.

4. Dahlia Sin

Dahlia, Dahlia, Dahlia. Speaking of being underwhelmed, am I right? I had such high hopes for Dahlia, but this week she just didn't pull anything out. I personally think the fruit sketch was really funny, but it would have been exactly the same if Dahlia hadn't been in the group. She was so focused on being ~sexy~ (which is tough in a broccoli costume), that she forgot about everything else. Plus her bows and buttons look was just...odd. from the neck up it had this very avant garde, couture feel, but the outfit itself just looked unfinished. And then to have this weird arse peekaboo thing? Really weird choice. She deserved to be in the bottom and, after that lip sync, she deserved to go home.

I have seen a lot of posts about Dahlia "storming out", and I genuinely don't understand what they're talking about? Like, okay, she didn't say anything before she walked off, does that really constitute storming off? If she'd walked off while Ru was still talking, or if she'd yelled/screamed/sworn, then sure, maybe - but from what I saw she was just upset and wanted to leave as fast as possible. Idk, also they haven't released Untucked on the UK Netflix, so maybe there was more I didnt see.

5. Gigi Goode

I live for Gigi so much. I mean come on! Her character in the improv was passed out half the time and still had presence! She's so funny, and she's not afraid to let loose and get ugly. I think she did a good job in the improv, especially for someone without all that much experience, and her look on the runway was incredible. Solid 8/10 for Gigi this week.

6. Heidi N Closet

Heidi was robbed. I bought everything Heidi was selling this week. I bought it, I didn't stream it, I didn't rent it from the Netflix, I bought it. She was so funny during the challenge; the flipper? She spat out? Iconic. She had me dying the whole time, her, Jackie Cox and Gigi Goode should have their own series, I'd watch the hell out of it. Then she came bouncing down the runway as glitter Pinnochio, and she told that story about when she was at school and I loved every second! Shes so charming, and loveable, and relatable, and Jaida Essence Hall must have been gagged when she was top 2. She was robbed, she should have won, and she should keep her name! That whole thing with "the mouth has to change shape and it's not satisfying to say"? Bullshit, utter bullshit bitch. Heidi N Closet 4lyf.

7. Jackie Cox

Jackie made me so happy this week! Their whole group was hilarious, but Jackie doing the bad ventriloquist act just sent me, I loved it. And she just seems like the sweetest person as well! Her runway look was gorgeous, I loved the reference, her makeup was absolutely stunning, Jackie Cox is seriously the whole package. Her and Heidi should have been top 2 together.

8. Jaida Essence Hall

Jaida came in looking like a pageant queen, but she seriously flexed her comedy muscles this week! Her "bad apple" was hilarious, and she really committed to it! She was a firm leader in the group, but she was a good team player in the scene, she let everyone else have their moment too, and it was a good performance! I was a little bit disappointed that her runway look was very very similar to her spring mini challenge look from last week, but it was still a good look, and honestly I probably wouldnt have noticed if it hadn't been one episode after the other. She has shown a lot of diversity already, I think she just set the bar so high last week that I was really expecting something incredible, and I got something that was "just" good instead. She's still one to beat at the moment!

9. Jan

Jan made me so proud this week!! She was really funny in the skit, she had so much energy and enthusiasm, I loved it! Her jokes were funny, she picked a solid character and played it well, and can we talk about the runway though??? I really expected her to come out in something cute, because her personality is so bubbly and instead she gave me horror high fashion, monster couture and she Sold. Every. Second. It was a total transformation from the challenge to the runway and that, at the heart of it, is what I love about drag; that transformation aspect is just art to me. For me, Jan has it all. She definitely should have been top 3 this week. I think she's served the best runways so far, and I cannot wait to see what she does next week.

10. Nicky Doll

Okay, you guys know I love Nicky Doll. This week was not a good week for her. I appreciate that improv must be so hard in your second language, but I think she suffered a little bit from Dahlia Syndrome: she was so focused on staying pretty that she didn't really deliver anything. I kind of wish her character had literally just been French and spoke no English - part of the joke could have been that language barrier and Crystal/Window not understanding a word she said and her getting more and more frustrated about it. That could have been really funny. Also, her runway look...I know where she was going with it, it was a cool concept, and it was executed okay, there was just something missing, you know? It felt a little bit rushed, and again there was this real focus on being ~pretty~. Maybe if she'd looked a little more Cinderella ish, like her makeup wasn't perfect, and her hair was tied up like she was actually sewing, it would have sold me a little more character. I'm not sure, everything was just a little off for me this week, but I still think she's fierce af, and we all stumble sometimes. I'm looking forward to seeing her get back on her feet next week!

11. Rock M Sakura

Rock M was picked last for the challenge, I could not believe it. She deserved better than that, I was shook. She definitely picked the right group though, she was really funny as the Orange! She looked like she was having fun, and that's what I love about Rock M, is that I have fun watching her have fun. Her jokes were great, she matched Jan's energy, and I think she did a good job. I loved her runway look as well, the Alice in Wonderland concept was great, and I love that she kept the dress pretty simple so that the focus was on her hair and makeup! Her makeup was gorgeous, and the detail of the buttons on her face was stunning! It was a great concept, well executed, this week was a great week for Rock M, and I'm going to be furious if she gets picked last again.

12. Widow Von Du

Widow is getting The Edit. The edit that queens of colour who are talented get, where they paint them as bitchy, or loud, or as stepping on the other girls' toes; so that the audience isn't too pussed off when they get eliminated. Widow is exceedingly talented, and funny, and filled with personality. She also serves looks and delivers incredible performances. I will not let this edit take that away from her. She did great this week. She delivered everything I ordered in the challenge and more, she completely transformed for the runway, and she sold me a great presentation. Widow is definitely one to beat.

#rpdr spoilers #rpdr12 spoilers #rpdr12 #season 12 #drag race season 12 #aiden zhane #Brita #crystal methyd #dahlia sin #gigi goode #heidi n closet #jackie cox #jaida essence hall #jan sport #just jan #nicky doll #rock m sakura #widow von du

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escapekissed · 4 years

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Lucky do you have any favorite pieces of media from the psychological horror genre? Feels like its a genre that matches ur interests very well 👉🏽👈🏽

there are a couple that really speak to me!

first is rule of rose, which is a game that is incredibly formative to me. in a time where i was looking for representation as a young gay person and REALLY into looking up wiki pages for horror games, rule of rose showed me the symbolic trauma of puberty and toxic ‘love’ between girl children and the violence of patriarchal figures that i was looking for. it showed such cruelty but also such strength in its main character, and the symbolism? exquisite.... it also just has such a creepy atmosphere and the fact that the game is near impossible to play along with its shitty graphics for the enemies makes it so. peculiar and creepy in a very special way to me.

catherine is another atlus game near and dear to my heart, tho i dont think i’m ever going to be playing full body for that exact reason. it’s a game basically about eugenics and misogyny, about gods&devils thinking of women as only reproductive objects and the men in their lives that ‘waste their reproductive time’ being tortured and killed for it, taking away a woman’s choice. i always thought it would be so interesting to do trans and lesbian takes on this game, and i have never really? stopped thinking about how this game is so thrilling in its themes of entitlement and stopping people’s freedom to love as they wish. this is also one of the only horror games in which the ‘human element’ actually interests me. so many horror games give u terrible people and i dont give a FUCK ABOUT THEM. but the way this game shows u just snippets of his life as a ‘break’ from the excruciatingly scary (to me, because time limits scare me LOL), stressful as hell puzzles. and u get to figure out the mystery of what is going on in people who would otherwise be boring to you, but in this game are shrouded in just enough mystery that ur actually interested in their boring day-to-day lives. its so satisfying just to drink with ur buds. its like really great gameplay to me tbh. i also just love katherine and catherine and they frusturate me so much and that’s exactly what they’re supposed to do which i LOVE. extremely effective atmosphere setting and worldbuilding, basically.

the lighthouse is my favorite horror movie tbh because it does suspense so well. the movie is literally themed around suspense, the suspense of not getting sexual satisfaction to completion, of being touch starved and lonely and repressed, of being able to hold ur boss but never kiss him, of being fed lobster but it tastes flavorless and bland and u can smell ur boss’s farts the whole time while he prattles on with disturbing sailor’s tales and barks out orders until he’s lulled into his drink. i honestly love this movie. and the acting is brilliant and unhinged

there’s a few indie games i really like that have been either formative to me or i just??? really like their vibe and i can basically tell from them i would like every game in the ‘genre.’

pocket mirror to me is like, this beautiful game about your own inner toxicity and escaping from yourself. i love indie 64-bit games like this, the background art is so beautiful, and while i’ve never played all the way through it because it scares me too much---i love ib and all the games in the ‘ib’ genre LOL.

doki doki literature club i know is a very strange game to like, but i enjoy it for letting the women be actual characters with their own thoughts and feelings. the pychological horror movie ‘i’m thinking of ending things’ is the exact opposite of this game.'i’m thinking of ending things’ is a backwards approach to feminist horror in my opinion. it’s from a male’s perspective of his hallucinations of a girl that once didn’t give him a second glance and his violence towards her in these fantasies. it takes itself painfully seriously. it pretends to deconstruct something that the director helped soldify (the manic pixie dream girl trope) in the public eye. doki doki literature club on the other hand, the passive character who ‘things happen to’ is the man. the active roles all go to the women in the game and what they do to themselves in order to be loved by not just a man, but the player, and in doing so they often become the all-knowing god of their own prison. like tell me that’s not the dopest thing u’ve ever heard of!

twilight zone is a big one for me but 5 episodes in particular have shaped how i view horror forever. ‘to serve man’---where the greatest, scariest thing in the world is not being able to understand the language another person is actually using and for them to manipulate u using ur own, actually wishing u harm as they placate you with your own interpretations. the episode where a rich man’s last will and testament is for his vain, selfish relatives to wear a mask until midnight that reveals symbolically how ugly they are to him. they bicker all night with petty squabbles, and then at midnight he reveals the mask has permeanantly shaped their faces to reveal who they really are and the abuse he suffered under them. the cornfield episode still scares the shit out of me as someone with an entitled younger brother whose entitlement and anger is often enabled by those around us, and i’ve always thought that it was such a good show of like, how patriarchy enables little boy’s violence. the episode ‘all the time in the world’ where an abused man with a shitty life is finally the last man on earth and he can do anything he’d like to do and all he wants to do is read but then he breaks his glasses. and finally! the episode where toys in a box come to life and bemoan their fate as they realize they will be trapped there forever in clothes and identities they do not recognize. these episodes always scare the shit out of me LOL.

besides that i really like. low-budget passion project indie games. the first that comes to mind is ‘the path’ which is about a family of four sisters of various ages all inspired by little red riding hood who stray from the path and are hunted by the woodsman. and then the game that YOU my dear myers! showed me! that haunts me to this day. basically a tape talks to you about the areas of a house and then starts to talk about the house as a living creature. and the living creature is hungry, without you inside it. the living creature is tired of being alone, it’s tired of being abandoned, it’s tired, and it’s eyes are empty with no one in the windows, and it’s mind is blank with no one in the bedroom, and it’s hangry there’s no one in its basement to feast on, to torment as it has been tormented by disuse.

last but not least, i really enjoy the book ‘sharp objects.’ which is not technically a horror novel. but it is about a serial killer, and about women and abuse and it has some of the best writing ever. so i highly recommend it AND the miniseries (watch the miniseries first then read the book bc the miniseries is like. directed better? but the novel is written and characterized better. it’s also very short u can finish it in like a day and a half).

honorable mentions for horror In General (not necessarily psychological horror) are: 1) the birdcage. i honestly consider this movie entirely unsettling. robin williams failing to portray a man that is actually attracted to nathan lane, which could be because they have simply been married so long but also is just awful to me in general bc it makes me feel like even our outwardly gay but still more masc gay men can’t love and be attracted to femme camp gays even when they’re married to them. the fact that both these men that could be so in love, that were so in love at one time, you can at the very least imagine, are told by their only son that they need to go back in the closet to impress some old ass republicans, giving the message that no matter how succesful you are in the gay community, no matter how bright and wonderful a presence you are, no matter how loving you are, no matter how much you love, no matter how interwoven you are in lgbt-ness, the straight people you love most will still try to change you to impress the wold. horrifying.

2) coraline. its children’s horror but that’s still horror baby! i think lately about how much the movie talks about mothers and birth. coraline calls whybie ‘why born’ and i just think about how much she thinks about creating a new life with a new mother, and how going through that small door into a long tube... it’s like crawling into a new womb and being reborn to a new mother that loves you. and that’s horrific from a feminist perspective in and of itself---that your child would feel so unloved and unimportant to you that she would literally... rather die in this life, technically, rather be ‘unborn’ to you and born anew to someone, someone just like you but better, someone just like you but what SHE wants a mother to be, feminine and skirted and smiling. and then there’s the fact that coraline only gives this up when she realizes her other mother basically wants to change her more to suit her liking in ways that would cause her pain, at which point she realizes this whole fantasy is a lie, not real, something meant to entice her and control her and make her ‘perfect’---the same way she wants her mother & father to be ‘perfect’ in a way that causes her to act out and hurt them. it’s psychological horror that’s technically not psychological horror in the best way, something you can really dig your teeth into, something that has so many layers to it. and the animation! gorgeous!

3) finally i have recently watched annihilation. and it kind of changed my life a little bit.... so often we’re used to viewing monsters as either 1) malicious or 2) romantic/sad/sexy. but the monster in this movie is literally a metaphor for cervical cancer.

to me, the monsters and the corpses and all the beautiful scenery in this movie, in every color u can think of, a muted rainbow of flowers and nature at its best and most bizarre and sprawling. i often say that monsters are beautiful, but tbh, i feel like... somehow i always mean that in a way that is near-fetishitic, somehow self-depcrating way, where i want to consider what other people think is ‘ugly’ is ‘beautiful to me’ because what i am also ugly to other people as a monster to the cishet white patriarchy. there are things i consider beautiful, certainly, purely beautiful. but when i talk about monsters being beautiful, it is in the way the sublime is beautiful. it scares me, it haunts me, i love it, i want to possess it as part of me, a totem to carry in my back pocket to make the strength in my own ugliness stronger.

when i saw the monster in this movie (SPOILERS) i was immediately unnerved at this bad cgi abomination that bloomed from the most beautiul cgi cancer death cosmos imaginable. it scared me and i had to sleep with a light on for 2 days after LOL. but i was also moved by its gentleness. by the fact that the cervical cancer alien, when it tried to hurt you, wasn’t trying to hurt you at all. it was simply copying your movements. in the movie, it says that the creature wants nothing. it was simply copying. it was simply changing. it’s a prism of nature---and it corrupts yes, and it can hurt people and things and turn them into scary but still terribly unique and beautiful things that also kill---but the movie says that it wants nothing. it simply exists. it’s a part of nature, same as us, a part of the same universe and cosmos, despite being alien to us and stange and hurting us sometimes in ways that it doesn’t understand.

i don’t know. if i quite believe the movie when it says that, though. because i think if you copy someone, like a child would, you are trying to understand them. you are trying to understand yourself. you are trying to form yourself in another’s image when you have none, and you are failing at that, and hurting people and creating monsters in the process, but you are trying as best as you can to be whole and beautiful and sane like the lovely creatures you’ve met on this earth, or this body. to be part of something great and beautiful. to be part of another world.

maybe it doesn’t want anything. but do WE want anything as children, when we copy adults? why did the bear and the alligator try to eat our heroes if they were not hungry? did the bear and the alligator not WANT to eat? i think everything wants to live, and everything wants to grow, and if it can learn to live better and grow better it Will learn even if that is not its explicit intention. does the alien have feelings? does nature? do we have to personify things to understand them? no. does personifying things make us understand them less? no, yes, sometimes. we ask animals and nature to copy us, follow us, so that we can understand them better. the relationship in between----from the hurt, from the pain, from the droughts and the food shortages and the hurricanes and the fireworks---forms from our kindness and understanding. that our crops are useful, and the man-made mutation of our crops and the help of the ran and the sun is also useful. that our animals may not love us, but they need us, and we love them for putting their paw on our thighs to be pet, for following us into the bathroom even when we just wanted a moment alone.

regardless of its intentions, the alien, cancer, every creature, every human, they simply want to grow. in copying others---in trying to touch, to change, to understand, and be close---we learn to live in the same body, learn to live in the same world. the togetherness--the new sight the prism brings---it’s beautiful. it is beautiful to copy, however poorly. it is beautiful to try. we all shape others to our own standards---we sometimes forget we too, were made in own own perception of others’ image.

#ooc: replies #this took me all day to answer because i had to go to COSTCO in the middle. LOL #destructiveglitch

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imaginebeatles · 4 years

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How do i avoid repeating the same things in a smut story,because every time when I write a small paragraph, I end up saying the name 10 times and I describe the same thing over and over again, i've rried reading over your stories to get a breif idea of how you do it, but it never works

I feel this is something people struggle with a lot. And honestly it’s kind of a difficult thing to answer... I’ll try to give you a couple of tips that I hope will help.

When it comes to names... Yes, that’s difficult. Especially when you’re writing m/m (or w/w) smut stories, because you’re referring to both people (or more) with the same pronouns, which can be confusing. Here are a few tips:

Don’t be afraid to use pronouns (but don’t overdo it). If you find yourself using the names a lot, I’d say, please don’t be afraid of using “he”. Your readers aren’t stupid and often understand what you are trying to say better than you might think from the context. Do not only look if that one sentence alone is clear, but also look at how it reads in combination with the two sentences before and after. Context helps a lot to make it more clear who you are talking about.This really only goes for those who use names a lot and most of the time. You can easily use pronouns too much and then it becomes confusing. However, I think a lot of people get scared off from using pronouns because they are so worried about that happening that they end up overcompensating. At the same time, don’t be afraid to use names as well. Sometimes you just end up having a paragraph where you use their names a lot. It’s happens.

Try to focus on one character for longer periods of time. Stick with the experiences of one character for a while, so you don’t have to switch to the other character. That is, keep that one character as the subject of your sentences for a few lines. This way, you can use the name once and refer to your character using pronouns for a while. example: Paul kissed John. John moaned and kissed back, wrapping his arms around Paul. Paul smiled against John’s lips, muttering something dirty. John felt his stomach churn in response. (bad example but it’ll get the point across). This feels very awkward and choppy, because the sentences are short (not necessarily bad, but it doesn’t help in this case) and we keep switching from character to character. First we get Paul’s point of view (pov), then John’s, then Paul’s again, and finally John. If we wrote this from John’s perspective, it would flow better and you won’t use their names as much: example: John moaned as Paul kissed him and kissed back with just as much fervour, wrapping his arms around him. He could hear Paul mutter something dirty, and his stomach churned at the words. This isn’t great, but as you can see, instead of using their names 7 times, I have only used them 3 times. Also, because “John” is the subject of both sentences, it is clear that the “he” in the second sentence refers to the subject of the first sentence and that we are still talking about John. You could maybe even remove Paul’s name in the second sentence, if you really want to, but for clarity’s sake, I’d keep it anyway. Just to make it a bit easier on the reader.

Pay attention to “voice” and “pov”. Adding to point two, it helps a lot when you write smut from the perspective of one of the characters (third person, limited). That way, you narrate only how that one character experiences things, thinks about things, and looks at the world and what is happening. You get to write the smut through that person’s voice. This way you won’t be switching to Paul’s point of view.... ever... meaning you stay in John’s head, which makes the trick of point 2 becomes a lot easier. On top of that, because you are dealing with one person’s voice and his view on the scene, you can also describe what the other person is doing much better, because you can describe them as if you’re looking through your character’s eyes. I feel one of the earlier paragraphs of my fic Letting You Have Me is a good example of this. Although it doesn’t describe sex, it does show you how you can describe what another character is doing your character’s eyes. I have made all pronouns bold to help you see what is going on. The older man was intoxicating. From the moment John had seen him sitting at the bar, drinking, he had been intrigued by him, had kept glancing at him, staring at the way he played with the rim of his glass with his long fingers and had run his hands through his long black hair, looking almost like a lion’s mane. His presence had been undeniable, and when their eyes had met for the first time, John had known he was going home with him. It had been the final thing he needed to convince him to finally walk over and get what he wanted from the man who had introduced himself as Paul. We don’t get Paul’s name until the end of the sentence, yet because we are reading this from John’s perspective it remains clear.

Use other nouns to refer to your characters (but don’t overdo it). As you may have seen in the previous example, you can also use other nouns to refer to characters. However, you have to be careful with this, because it can also become annoying and awkward very quickly. Use nouns that highlight a trait or quality that you want to highlight in that character. OR, that the character’s whose pov you are in, would be highlighting. It has to make sense for characters to refer to the other person like that.For example, in John/Paul fics you sometimes get people referring to them as “the bassist” or “the rhythm guitarist”. To me this is annoying. It can work, but most of the time it doesn’t because half of the time it makes no sense for John and Paul to refer to each other like that. If they’ve been friends for 6+ years, they wouldn’t think of each other like that. However, if I’m writing a fic where Paul is a lot older then John, for example, I may want to highlight that and I might use “the older man” from time to time, when it makes sense for John to think of Paul like that (see the example above). Same goes for when they don’t know each other, you might use “the man” or “the stranger”. If Paul loves how John’s hair look that day, he might refer to John using that quality. Look at the plot of your smut fic to see what makes sense. Don’t overdo it either. Sometimes a name works better.Some more neutral ones you can use most of the time is “the man” or “the boy” or whatever. You can be creative with it, but really, don’t overdo it, and keep in mind who is talking when you use certain nouns.

Have other people read through your fics and let them point out to you when they get confused. It takes a lot of practice to see when you have to use a name or not. Sometimes it can be very clear to you and others might get confused, or sometimes you may have underestimated your readers. If you can get someone to read it through, that really helps a lot.

Take a pause from your fic for a few days and come back to it. Sometimes it’s difficult to see how readable your text is when you’re working on it. Especially if you don’t have people to read through your fics, this is a great way to see for yourself if you can still understand who each pronoun refers to, after you haven’t look at it for a few days.

This is kinda what I could come up with for now, when it comes to the use of names and pronouns. As with being repetitive in your descriptions... here are a few tricks that might help.

Use a thesaurus. This one might feel like a bit of a cop-out, but really, they’re incredibly useful. Don’t use it for every word, it’s really not necessary and don’t try to use it to make yourself sound smart. However, it can really help you find other descriptive words that you may not use that often. Different words also have different connotations and feelings attached to them. This is good, because it might shift the focus on the paragraph a little and let you do something new. At the same time, don’t use them blindly and look them up if you are unsure what they mean. Don’t be afraid to use new words and let them guide you. A sentence may feel very different just if you use a different word. Run with the new direction this word gives you and let the focus shift to something else. For example, if you look up the word “sexy” you get very different words from “titillating” to “provocative” to “arousal” to “flirtatious” to “cuddly” to “suggestive” to “seductive” to “sensual”, all of which are very different, and might take you into a different direction.

Make word lists! If you’re struggling to come up with ways to describe actions or feelings or sex acts or reactions, make a list of all the words that you know and find in other fics, books, texts, or the dictionary/thesaurus. You can create multiple ones for different things, such as “emotions”, “physical descriptions”, “swear words”, “blowjobs”, “oral sex”, and other sexual acts, as well as anything you might struggle with. Really, it’s up to you to decide what to make lists on. If you get the basic descriptive words down, you can experiment, try to use them in different ways and switch them up. It’s how and when you use them. @chut-je-dors uses word lists a lot herself, and she told me that if you want them, you can message her and she can share them with you.

You can do actions in very different ways. There is not one way to experience something. One kiss can be very different from the next, so you might use other words to describe them. Some of them might not be that important, so you can gloss over them more, while if it’s an earth-shattering experience, pay more attention to it. Also adding emotions can help a lot, especially when you build them up.

I hope this kind of helps. If you have any other questions (about this or other things that has to do with writing), don’t be afraid to ask them. Good luck!

#writing advice #hope this helps!!

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