#'thats nice and i hear you but i'm growing up into a man. you cant fool me'

[perennial-bee]

"trans people are only trans because of oppressive gender roles and if we just got rid of the gender roles nobody would be trans" might sound like a hot take, a thoughtful and compassionate take, but unfortunately it is ice cold and does not understand how being trans works at all. meet and talk to and listen to more trans people - preferably in real life - before making assertions like this, especially if you yourself are not trans.

#if this was true then explain to me why my friend is still a man even though his parents tried to raise him with as few #imposed gender roles as possible #every type of woman under the sun was thrust his way with the insistence that his sex was not a limitation #and a girl can be anything she wants and do and study anything she wants #he saw and appreciated all of that and at the end of the day his kid self was still like #'thats nice and i hear you but i'm growing up into a man. you cant fool me' #this is not every trans experience but it is not an UNcommon trans experience. so this argument just doesnt hold water #also if 'giving into your dysphoria' would have made you want to die #and accepting a gender that's in line w your bio sex makes you feel better #congratulations. you are cis #and therefore you do not get to speak to the trans experience #YOUR experience is valid. projecting your experience onto the trans community is wrong #it reads to me the same as someone who thought they were ace until they realized they weren't #concluding that therefore nobody is really ace and all ace people just *think* they are #and their hidden allosexuality can be 'cured' or jumpstarted by whatever set of circumstances triggered *your* sexuality #(knew someone irl exactly like this and it was deeply frustrating) #or thinking that gay people just need to meet the right person to be in a str8 relationship with bc YOU found someone like that #like no sorry...you're just bi #i could go on #i'm frustrated. i understand where this take comes from but it's really misinformed. you need to listen to trans ppl. start there

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Rabbit. Chapter Two Part Two

Draco x Hufflepuff reader

Tags; @khemz1312 @trashyvicks @dracoslittlesunflower @dracmalf0y-dm @rosiehufflepuff @goofygobber @shinsouscatpisssmell

W!Heavy Ptsd, mental freak outs. Hearing voices, blood, bruises, cuts. Draco trying to convince himself he’s fine. Refusing to ask for help. Mental instability. The voices are the Dementors

After two years in Azkaban for how he treated you he was finally free. The only thing keeping him going was you. Now finally reunited with his Rabbit he thinks things will go easier for him. But Draco is struggling mentally and refusing to ask for help, but his only hope might be the person he despises the most

Draco did not return to the bedroom, he ran his hands under the cold water staring at them watching the blood run down his wrists down to the drain of the sink trying to think of a way around this… what could he do ? he needed help… The man shook his head at just the thought of him asking for help. “Rubbish.” he slapped the water off drying his hands on his briefs and going to check on you to see you asleep.

Its dark there huh?

Like the cell

“Shut up…” the tired shaky man shook his head going back to the living room, his vision was dizzy and he had to drag himself along the wall so he would not stumble and fall.

Why do you even bother?

Coming here?

“B-b-because..”Draco fell into the back of the couch seeing Biscuit asleep on his pillow and quickly went around the furniture to scoop up the rabbit holding him close to his chest. He let out a heavy sigh of relief once he felt Biscuits cold nose against his chest sniffing around. “I ,.. Wanna be with her…” he laid down on the couch with the curious bunny on his chest. He shook his head several times trying to get the voices to subside..

But does she want to be with .. you?

“She does.. “

Draco did not last long in the dark; he had gotten up and turned every light on except for the bedroom . one thing Draco did learn in Azkaban was that the Dementors hated the light. So every night he would sit under the window in his cell hoping the moon would be full and bright enough to shine in on him… But even with all the lights on he still saw darkness when he shut his eyes…

He was back on the couch with Biscuit on his chest again trying to think of something else, anything else. He wanted to share the bed with you so bad.. He longed for that moment with you. To have you snuggle against him .. tracing your finger on his chest.. Telling him stories .. cuddling up to him when you get cold.. Did you have any cute sleeping habits he wondered.. And did you prefer the middle or the edge of the bed.. Did you like to sleep in …?

“Rabbit……”

What if you get worse?

You already broke a glass, remember?

“Shut u-u-p…” he was starting to sweat, a long bead of it sliding down his head. We miss you Draco

Dont you miss us?

“N-no..” his hands found his hair digging into his locks. “I .. “

We love you for who you are Draco.

“You bastards made me this way..!” he sat up and Biscuit hopped off his lap scaring Draco, he jumped shielding his face till he realized it was just the bunny. “Im…” he wrapped his arms around himself feeling very sticky and uncomfortable all over, his skin felt like it was crawling and his bruises ached again with each heave of breath he took from his chest. “Im fine…”

You are fine , Draco.

Perfectly fine

Your fine

Your fine

Your fine…

Your ..fine

You-r fi-ne…

“SHUT UP!!!” Draco threw himself on the floor hitting his head hard on the wood making the voices subside, he stayed there for a minute, crying.

**

In the morning you had woken up to an empty bed and every light on in your home. Quickly you jumped out of bed rushing to the living room to see it empty. “dr..Draco..”

“Yes Rabbit?” you heard behind you.

You whipped around seeing Draco with a towel around his neck and sweats on him. You clung to him sighing with relief. “Nothing.. Goodmorning.”

Draco squeezed you tight, wrapping an arm around your back and head giving you a gentle kiss on your forehead. Draco had passed out from exhaustion last night around 3 AM and woke up not too long ago drenched in a cold sweat with Biscuit wiggling his nose on his cheek . he had no idea when you would wake up so he had to hurry and cover his tracks.

“Good Morning Rabbit.” Draco squeezed you again and you slipped free taking his hand.

“I'm thinking.. We go get some clothes today?”

“S-sure.”

“And i think the twins opened their shop up again, maybe we could .. go check it out? Everyone deserves a good laugh sometimes..”

he was nervous.. It would be crowded in the twins shop...

Why dont you just run away

Come back to us

You cant handle things on your own anymore

You cant handle this-

He shook his head bringing your hand to his lips so he could kiss it. “Sounds good, Rabbit.”

The shopping went.. Okay.. there's only so many choices in Diagon Alley after all. Simple dress clothes and a couple loose shirts was all he needed. All though you insisted he get some more clothes he could relax in .

“Draco dont you want more loose fitting things?”

“D-dosint ma-matter Rabbit” he was having a hard time talking to other people. Everyone he ran into asked him about Azkaban and you had to step in and change the subject before Draco blew up at them. You noticed he did not walk the same way he did in Hogwarts; back then he had his head in the clouds, his ego on his sleeve, his attitude front and center and that damn smug smile he wore on that damn grumpy face.

Now he looked over his shoulder, shook his head, faked his smile and rubbed his hands alot to keep himself from scratching his arms. You noticed he only did it when the wind blew and were growing more and more concerned about him. Something was wrong, something awful must have happened in Azkaban… but the real question was would he ask you to listen to him explain… anyone… someone.. You loved Draco Malfoy, but you worried for his health too.

“Hmm.. im going to get you a few more . ill be right back “

“O-o kay, ill be .. at the twins shop”

You turned to grab his hand “you sure youll be okay alone?”

Will you?

We dont think so

You wont be alone Draco

….you will have us…

He shook his head and pulled you in for a hug and kissed your lips. “Im sure, Pet. no go get me something nice yeah?” he patted your head, getting a small smile out of you.

“Yes, Draco” you teased him hurrying off into the clothing store again. It warmed his heart a bit.. He loved the teasing .. he wanted more of it. He wanted hsi days to be full of it…

Its a shame…

...that this will not last..

..but….. Everyday you go on..

...brings you closer to us…

“Shut.. up..i shouldn't be able to hear you in that bloody twins shop … “ Draco stumbled turning around to make hsi way to the very eyesore of a shop.

*

Loud. it was loud. It was crowded and people were everywhere laughing, playing jokes on others, playing music, things were flying around, confetti and the likes. People shoving to get to the next big attraction and shoving all kinds of colourful candy in their mouths. Draco flinched every time someone touched him. Usually he would yell and shove back but .. all he could do now was cower and look over his shoulder . his head was quiet, for once. He could not hear the Dementors in here and the shop was well lit too making it easier to keep them at bay.

Draco maneuvered the shop looking for the twins , it should not be too hard. All the Weasleys have this unique look to them. Draco moved to the center of the store when someone bumped him trying to get by making him jump and stumble into the desk hitting his hip, someone else pushed by and he white knuckled the furniture starting to breath heavily.

Draco…..

Draco…….

Draco……….

“Dammit.. Shut up….” he pulled himself up looking over the people seeing the twins at the back of the store. Carefully he made his way to them and they both saw him and waved.

“There he is !” Fred said.

“All is right now yep” George added.

Draco was holding his side trying to stand up straight and look intimidating but the look on his face told the twins he was afraid.

“Bloody… twins.”

“Thats us!” they both said with pride.

“Wheres… Pottah…..”

They looked at each other and then Draco, getting a good look at him.

“You okay Mate?” Fred asked , helping him steady himself

“How is y/n by the way?” George asked.

“Shes f--f-f-ine, “ he shook Fred off gulping down a breath. “Where. Is. Pottah”

“Uhm.. top floor actually, hes getting some things for his kids.” Fred pointed.

“Thanks..” Draco shot them a look with a slight nod and made hsi way up the steps to the much more empty area. He spotted Harry looking over some joke spells in a book . Draco tried to be quiet but…

The boy who lived?

Draco stumbled into a desk making it squeak, Harry looked up from the book and quickly put it down to go to Dracos side. He was struggling to stand and breathe.

“Draco…? Are you alright?”

“Sshh--shut up…-”

Yes ,,, Draco …

Shut him out…

You dont need him

You only need us

...you only need… us

Harry helped the man anyway and Draco slumped into his side cursing himself. Harry helped Draco to an empty room and shut the door, carefully he sat the man down in a chair and sat down across from him not saying anything. Draco was a mess inside and out right now, he hated Pottah, hated everything about him , how dare he refuse to be his friend all those years ago? That duel… that damn… quidditch match… that damn….. Bird …

Leave..

Leave

Draco, leave

You dont need-

“P-p-pott-ah,.....”

Dont.

“I … n-ee-dd,....” he dug his fingers in his hair whimpering in front of this man .

Harry instantly knew something was wrong, he stayed as calm as he could.

Draco Malfoy of Slytherin... the smug, man who did not care for anyone else at all , only himself. Never asked for help from anyone, did things his way… picked on whoever he wanted...not a care in the world… was whimpering in front of the man he hated most. On the verge of a breakdown.

“I need…..”

DONT DRACO!!!

He looked in Harrys eyes with heavy tears falling down his face… staining the wood table. “I need help……………………..please………………”

#draco 😤 #draco x hufflepuff reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco x reader #.RabbitFic

[soopysoap]

Uh, I read your post about having an 80's au for the foreigen kids. And since I'm a Foreigen kids stan, can you tell me more about it?

HI. ANON? ILY.

They're really just random n messy ideas and i forget how many there are but i'm throwing them all here

so the whole thing takes place in highschool and mainly surrounds the cockswolds cotswolds (mainly mark but rebecca is usually there too)

most of them are seniors, rebecca's a junior

mark is an unpopular nerd, therefore the main character because it's the 80s. so is rebecca but she's not the main character

uhh everyone else is kinda just there

like there are no side characters all the foreign kids are kinda equal focus- wise but the main one is mark i guess

like the leader of their group idk idk

estella is the stereotypical rich popular girl, but she's also a closeted lesbian they're all closeted tbh so she's trying to hide that from her mom. Her mom, instead of being all 'Blah blah blah brrak hearts to fuel my life' or something she's just obsessed with status and how popular Estella is. She's always pleased when Estella has a boyfriend, but it's not often. Basically Estella is more smiley and happy than she usually is, but she's stil usually indifferent. Smiles either when she's genuinely happy or wants something. Most of the time she's deadpan or rolling her eyes

Gaydamien is the rich popular jock, his ego is huge. His dad (since he cant be the son of satan in this one) is the principal of their school. He usually gets what he wants, no matter what. Instead of "You dare [insert something here] to the Prince of Hell????" its that but with "Damien Thorn???" yknow because of his last name. He's been dating Estella to boost his ego, mainly. Doesn't realize he likes guys yet. Estella and Damien hate each other, but everyone believes they're dating because they're too scared to say otherwise. They complain about each other to each other AND to people in private.

Pip is just- he's less of a nerd but more of a kid that's just. There. He isn't nerdy but he definitely isn't popular. At all. He's just a pushover man idk what to tell you. He's usually being bullied. He has a huge crush on Damien, because he got him out of trouble with some other jock like. Once. Always gets giggly around him, it's funny to watch. Also very passive aggressive @ Estella because she's dating him. They have very few classes together, but whenever they do he's always like "hey :) so hows damien" and she responds with "why would i know" and he's like "because??? youre dating him???" and she looks really confused for a second and then is like "OH- Oh yeah okay uh. I don't know. So." and then she starts complaining about him or something and pip is all ":) why not just break up?"

Pip also hates Christophe

Which, speaking of, Christophe is also an annoying egotistical jock who plays football with Damien. Damien and Christophe are best friends. Christophe and Gregory are dating in secret

Gregory is the stereotypical gay kid. No other way to put this. If Ryan Evans from High School Musical had a superiority complex. He's a theatre kid, and takes pride in tha- OH MY GOD. Rachel??? Maybe he's Rachel Berry from Glee??? it would kind of work idk,, ok uh anyway yeah he's always bullied for being openly gay and it sucks but he took defense classes in Yardale (yes he's still a transfer from Yardale, yes he constantly mentions it) so he's able to hold his own. But Christophe usually steps in to get Gregory out of there and tend to his wounds.

Rebeccaaaaaa she's the unpopular girl, just started school and doesnt know shit about it after being homeschooled almost her whole life. Has a little crush on Estella, but Estella "Doesn't" notice her. (Estella just thinks of her as some pretty girl who isnt worth her time) Rebecca usually keeps to herself, is usually gossiped about. Estella never gets involved, but whenever she'd get asked about it, instead of defending Rebecca she just says "I hardly believe any of the rumors. She was homeschooled, not taught in witchcraft or satanisim. Or whatever else everyone's saying. Everyone should really calm themselves, if they were so worried about what people thought of them when Rebecca started going here then they should get that in order first before ruining Rebecca's social life. God. You all have to grow up." So, not necessarily a defense but also not an insult. Rebecca still finds it sweet.

Mark is a neerrrrrrd 80s main character. Minus the popular love interest and yearning 😩 And also if the main character had a god/superiority complex.. he's bullied the most other than Gregory, mostly by Damien n Christophe. Girls don't like him, guys don't like him, he really only had Pip and Rebecca for a while. Pip because he's overly nice to almost everyone and wanted to befriend Mark immediately. Usually during lunch Mark sits with Pip and Rebecca. Mark has to hear about Damien all the time from Pip though, so that's annoying.

Uh I know that Pocket is TECHNICALLY a foreign kid but idk shit about him and dont really think about him but he's Estella's cousin and often hangs out with her since he doesn't really have a friend group. He's also really good friends with Pip. BUT since this is a horror au he dies off early

After theyre all friends some stuff happens yada yada yada Gaymien realizes he's pan and has a crush on Pip, Estella takes Rebecca out for a makeover , Christophe gets severely injured because this is a horror au as well, Damien and Pip make out at some point-

Estella and Rebecca both know that theyre Lesbians but they refuse to admit that they like each other

Kinda thinking of this as if it was stranger things or something so i definitely want there to be like... a series of bad events. everyone thinks everythings cool and fine and whatever and there are moments where our group kinda just get to chill n' be kids. idk i just want there to be a falling out in the group and then they all realize they need each other or something dumb like that

also for some fun chill moments we can have estella and rebecca walking around holding hands and laughing n' stuff bc they love each other idk idk

and after the falling out when they all join together again estella is the first to see some scary stuff but she was also the first to drop everyone except damien and christophe (because of her mother) and so she blames herself and doesnt think she can go to them and just has to deal with it on her own

eventually she tells damien who immediately tells pip who immediately wants to get the group together again

everyone's (the cockswolds) are reluctant to hang out again because of the way they were just forgotten so easily, but they go anyway. because of the horror stuff. they both are pissed at estella though

at some point estella gets badly hurt and rebecca saves her and starts nursing her back to health

estella: why are you... why are you doing this. dont you hate me?

rebecca: i'm doing it because i actually care for you, idiot.

estella: i care for you i just... couldnt...

rebecca: what? spend time with a lowlife like me?

estella: you know thats not what i meant-

they go on like that for a little while longer until they wind up confessing to each other "Because I love you! Is that so fucking hard to believe?!" Would be rebecca's and Estella's would probably be "I don't hate you! You're my favorite person, and I hated having to stop hanging out with you! I love you, okay?!" it would be :) fun

damien and estella come out to each other first. well- damien doesnt really come out he just tells her how confused he is and they hug it out and estella tells him she's a lesbian and they both talk a little while longer and decide that breaking up would be the best idea

thats all i've really figured out for sure,, i have some more ideas but this is. a lot already so. i'm just gonna stop before i write too much 👉👉 anyway, anon ily ty for this. also sidenote: the horror stuff has to do with weird sacrificial cults. i know i have nothing for that and really only talked about how everything starts and drama instead of the interesting stuff but 🥴 i have no defense i just love my kids ok drama is fun

#ANYWAY ANON ILY TY #HEAD FULL #I LOVE THEMMMMMMMMMM #anon sorry this was so confusing #i woke up a little while ago so im too tired to make sense #but i wanted to get this to you as quickly as possible #youre the best #ask

[vminvisiblestring]

ron swanson: dean winchester father-figure

cant get ron swanson being deans father-figure out of my head so i'm holding yall hostage- i mean, sharing the madness with you, i'm sorry. and listen, yes, i know, i know how it sounds but hear me out:

both have similar (incredibly unhealthy) diets/ love bacon an unhealthy amount

love to fish, in ron's words "it's like yoga except i still get to kill something"

both like good alcohol (as casual drinkers only, depressed-drinking-in-excess-to-numb-the-pain-of-losing-cas-dean-winchester does not apply)

the biggest soft spot for their closest friends

great with kids

fans of old movies/music

love sex

love big dogs

literally both are so wild and unpredictable sometimes, it's insane

now i know what you're thinking: you stupid idiot, ron's whole schtick is being this hyper masculine "manly man" who doesn't like weak-willed men, how could he possibly be a good father figure to poor, traumatized, "just wants to be loved", dean?

and to that i say, you fool, thats exactly why ron would be a great father-figure: ron's inherent soft side for the people he loves opens him up even if he is a "man's man" and he doesn't shy away from that vulnerability. and besides, dean may be many things, but weak-willed he most certainly is not. in ron's own words:

if you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?

yes, ron believes:

boys should grow up to be "strong men" who should only cry "at funerals and the grand canyon"

and

thinks america is the country of all

and

he's a hard-core libertarian

but he also

hates big government

and

loves and respects strong, independent women

plus he deadass opposed his fathers order to work in a steel mill (literally. his dad dropped him off at the mill and told him not to bother with school and ron got a ride back to the college anyway).

you're gonna tell me the man who basically said, "fuck you dad i'm going to college" wouldn't beat the shit out of j**n winchester when he found out all the trauma dean has because of him? you'd be lying to yourself.

and oh my god! imagine the support system dean would have in ron and vice versa? like imagine dean supporting ron at his jazz shows and ron supporting dean during karaoke night? considering how he supported tom and his snake juice venture (if you know you know, and if you do, i love you), it's safe to say he'd be going to every table in his deadpan voice like, "yes, that's my son. yes, he does have the voice of an angel." (and you can take ron's statement to the bank because "a recommendation from me is essentially a guarantee.") and what about deans jokes? finally someone who'll understand and laugh at his jokes. remember deans face when donna laughed at his joke? yeah, imagine that face but all the time with him and ron. but most importantly, whenever dean needs advice, who would begrudgingly (affectionate) get out of bed and bring the good scotch and bacon burgers over for a heart to heart? exactly.

and that's not even mentioning the wood working! ron teaching dean about wood working!! he starts showing dean how to make small stuff at first and then dean starts branching off doing his own thing (he did make the ma'lak box by himself, after all). and one day he surprises ron with a rowboat he made and they take it out onto a lake to fish and in the serene peace of it all ron would tell dean how proud he is of him and mean it, and more importantly: dean would believe it.

now some of you might also be thinking: well if you want dean to have an alcoholic, manly father-figure, he already has bob- [gunshot]

no, fool! bobby may have been leagues better than j**n, but he wasn't the most gentle man in the world, either. i don't forget you belittling my sons feelings, bobby singer. but i also thank you for playing catch with him. but there's little things here and there that make bobby an unfit father-figure for someone like dean. for example: his use of traditionally effeminate words or words used to describe effeminate men and using them as insults, on multiple occasions to deans face. not exactly directed at dean, although sometimes they were.

bobby is a kind of "manly man" in a... different way than ron. arguably both would consider themselves manly, but ron would say it in a confident way, very sure of himself; bobby would say it as a reassurance (insecurity) because his masculinity was somehow called into question. and there's the big ol' elephant in the room: bobby is burdened by life. the last thing dean needs is another man burdened by life, he already had that with j**n and look what he did to him. someone with that much baggage would unload it on dean sooner or later, just like j**n did. and knowing dean, he would feel it's his responsibility to look after yet another person, and he doesn't deserve that.

ron, on the other hand, lives completely unburdened by life. he lives in a cabin in the woods with his hidden gold and his books and his scotch and his wood shop just vibing. ron loves life! and guess what? so does dean! dean was always meant to live a laid-back, easy life fishing, eating bacon, loving nature and just vibing too! he'd feel contentment with ron. easy living and much deserved peace.

plus, you're gonna sit there and tell me ron (as the director of the parks department who thinks people should be able to do whatever they want) wouldn't have some kind of pull to get dean a nice piece of land and help him build a bar! and a house!! ron would give dean stability, a chance to live a peaceful, normal life.

and he literally doesn't give a shit who you love so imagine dean showing up with cas one day to dinner? they'll shake hands, ron would comment on cas's firm grip, they wouldn't notice they both have deadpan voices and expressions and hijinks would ensue. ron would love cas! he's strong, stoic, smart, but endearing and kind and open. know ron would just look over towards the other end of the table at dean and just give him a small smile and slight nod and dean would know exactly what he means: you did good, kid.

in conclusion:

#at the end of the day i wrote this in good fun #(but also to try to come to terms with the fact that my beautiful baby boy is gone because my brain and body won't let me move on and all i #want to do now is imagine dean living the life he was meant to with loving figures all around him and maybe one day i'll realize what they #did to him [and what they did to him for] and wail for a week straight then slowly begin to heal and move on #if i've managed to indoctrinate you- i mean convince you of ron swanson: father figure you may just have one tiny concern left: they're from #entirely different genres genius how could they ever interact and to that i say: hear me out... CROSS OVER! imagine crossing the world of #horror and comedy and mixing the two. and how they'd meet? simple. dean winchester heads to pawnee indians on a case #involving the mysterious death of a pony. he stops at a diner late at night on his way to a motel and sits across the bar from a man in his #late fourties who apparently ordered all the bacon. dean smiles a bit and asks for a burger. the man across the counter says he noticed the #car parked out front and dean talks baby up. the man chuckles. “i didn't catch your name.” “dean winchester. nice to meet you.” #“ron swanson. that's a firm handshake you got there son.” and they talk about what deans doing in town and ron cries over lil sebastian and #after a couple of days of dead ends dean decides to confide in ron about the supernatural which ron finds stupid as hell at first but then #quickly accepts after almost getting taken by what dean said was called a “wendigo”. and dean endears himself to everyone because obviously #and when the case is over and deans set to leave he gets a little emotional he bonded with this young man over booze and bacon and crappy #fathers that he can't help but feel he's kind of losing a kid. and he sees himself a little in dean and feels the need to keep him around #actually a WANT. he wants to get to know him more show him a thing or two about HIS world maybe his woodworking or his favorite fishing spot #and he tells dean not to be a stranger and dean says he definitely won't and makes a comment about how this place looks as good as any to #any to settle down... and one day he does. and he and ron bond and become the closest thing one can to a father and son. and dean finds an #an extended family in the parks department. and his family come visit the house he built himself. and cas is with him. and hes finally HAPPY #destiel #dean winchester #dean #castiel #cas #ron swanson #supernatural #spn #parks and rec #spn long post #arcane spn collection: long post

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Saving Grace - Part 9

Steve leaves you and your son to go back to Peggy unaware your pregnant.

Your heartbroken and struggling without Steve until Bucky Barnes steps up to help you out. With you and Bucky growing closer everyday will he be your saving Grace?

I was sat on the sofa nursing Grace when the front door swung open and a laughing Harrison came running in.

"You better run pal I'm gonna win!" I heard Bucky chuckle.

"No way!! I faster!!"

I turned just in time to see Harrison throw himself in the armchair declaring himself the winner while Bucky was carrying various bags of groceries in.

"Hey doll" Bucky smiled over at me with a wink before heading into the kitchen.

"Uncle Buck i win!" Harrison yelled happily.

"Yeah you did Buddy, good job" Bucky called back sounding amused.

"Wow your so good bud" i smiled at my biggest baby, he just laughed and run into the kitchen.

"Okayyyy" i mumbled as i straightened up my shirt and moved Grace so i could wind her. Harrison came running back seconds later with a pink t-rex stuffed teddy in his arms.

"This is for Gracie" he said holding it out.

"It is? Oh my god! She loves it baby"

"I picked it out"

"He really did, i couldn't say no" Bucky chuckled walking over and giving me a kiss.

"Its very sweet babe, but where's my gift?"

"Im your gift" Bucky wiggled his eyebrows at me making me laugh.

"Your such a dork"

"I know but you love this dork" he shrugged with the cockiest grin spread on his face.

"Oh i regret it...." i shook my head teasing him "here take your daughter i need to pee so bad" i said getting up and passing Grace to him before quickly darting to the bathroom.

Coming back into the living room a few minutes later i smiled seeing Bucky cuddled up with both kids who were fast asleep.

"Wow that didnt take long" i chuckled sitting in the armchair "your like the baby whisperer"

"I took Harrison to the playground on the way home, think he wore himself out and lil miss is in a milk coma!" He laughed looking down at Grace who was sleeping with a smile on her face.

"Hey, so i was thinking of asking Wanda to come watch the kids the weekend" i said suddenly feeling really nervous as i played with a loose thread on one of the scatter cushions.

"You mean...."

"Yeah if you want...."

"Of course i want!" Bucky nodded quickly making me chuckle.

"Good! Thats good, i thought maybe we could go up to my dads cabin and get Wanda to stay here with the kids. I dont really want them at the compound incase Steve shows up"

"Sounds good to me doll, but just so you know Sam said Steve hasn't been around for weeks. He seems to have realised how bad he messed up"

"Even so, it will make me feel better about being away from them if i know their here"

"Okay I'm sure Wanda wont mind being here, she practically lives here lately anyway" he rolled his eyes.

"Shes just trying to help" i said sticking up for my friend "and its a godsend to have her around while your working"

"I know I'm just teasing" he grinned "its fine doll".

After 20 minutes or so of sitting watching TV with Bucky i felt restless and got up to head to the kitchen to make some tea.

"You okay?" Bucky asked instantly.

"Yeah just making some tea"

"Okay, its just you've been a bit quiet"

"Didn't want to wake the kids" i shrugged and carried on to the kitchen. While waiting for the kettle to boil i suddenly found myself standing there silently crying. Since having Grace id occasionally burst into tears for no reason, now would apparently be one of those times!! damn hormones!!

After grabbing a tissue and wiping away any evidence that id been crying, i splashed some cold water on my face and continued making the tea (a coffee for Bucky) and headed back to the living room.

He was sitting alone on the sofa when i walked in and looked at me with a smile.

"Where are the kids?"

"I put them to bed, baby monitor is on the table" he pointed to the split screen monitor in front of him "i need some time with my girl now, come here mama" he smiled holding out a hand towards me. I couldn't help but smile as i put the mugs down on the table and took his hand. Bucky tugged me towards him and pulled me down onto the sofa to lay with him, his front pressed to my back.

"Feel better?" He mumbled against my ear as his hand caressed my hip slightly.

"Im fine Buck..."

"I heard you crying doll"

"Its just hormones, i didn't even realise i was crying at first"

"If something was wrong you'd tell me right?"

"Of course i would" i told him truthfully reaching back to kiss him "i may fall asleep in a minute I'm exhausted"

"No problem, you should get some sleep while the kids are sleeping...."

"Okay, just stay with me"

"Always".

The next day i headed to the compound to talk to Wanda about having the kids while Bucky and i went up to the cabin. I had checked Steve wasn't around before going over, i wasn't in the mood to deal with that today. I had Grace with me but Bucky had taken Harrison to the zoo for the afternoon, since Grace arrived we had made an effort to spend time with Harrison on his own so he didn't feel neglected and end up hating his baby sister!

"So what brings you by here? Its been a while since you stopped by" Wanda asked rocking Grace in her arms.

"I came by to ask if you were free to watch the kids this weekend...."

"Oooh you finally got the all clear for physical activities huh?" She teased wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"I did! And stop that!" I laughed "i think we've been very patient!"

"Oh you have i know!! Of course i'll look after them" Wanda agreed straight away smiling like an idiot "its what aunties are for anyway"

"Thanks Wan, could you come to us though? I dont want them here incase he shows up"

"Yeah thats fine, makes sense anyway. Everything i'll need is at your place"

"Thats great, i'll get the guest room set up for you".

I had been at the compound for a couple hours now and thought it best to head home and start on dinner. Bucky and Harrison would be back from their day trip soon. I was just about to get up and get Grace settled in her pushchair when i heard Wanda speak up.

"What are you doing here?!"

I snapped my head round and there stood Steve Rogers in jeans and grey henley, his beard had grown back in and his hair looked a little longer..... just how he had looked when we first started dating!

"I...i was looking for Sam, we're meant to be going for a run" he replied holding up his duffle bag.

"Well can you go wait somewhere else?"

"Its fine Wanda I'm leaving now anyway" i gave her a tight lipped smile and finished getting Grace in her pushchair.

"Y/N..... could we talk for a minute? Please?" I heard him ask.

"I've got to get home Steve, Harrison and Bucky will be back soon?"

"please? just a few minutes?"

"Steve, she said no!" Wanda snapped at him, they had always been close and it was horrible to see the distance between them now.

"Okay...." he said sadly turning to leave.

"5 minutes" i suddenly said shaking my head at how stupid i was agreeing to this.

"5 minutes is good, thank you".

"I'll stay close by, yell if you need me" Wanda said quietly to me as she left, we both knew Steve heard every word though!

Steve walked over and sat in the chair next to me, he leaned closer to the pushchair to look in at Grace and smiled.

"She's beautiful Y/N"

"Thanks. So what did you want to talk about? Like i said i need to get home"

"Right" he nodded "Bucky and Harrison been anywhere nice?"

"Bucky took him to the Zoo for the afternoon"

"Man i miss trips to the zoo, Harry always loved seeing the lions" he smiled at the memory.

"His favourites are the wolves now"

"The wolves huh?"

"Yep ever since Shuri and T'Challa visited and called Buck 'white wolf' his been obsessed with them" i shrugged.

"Thats cute" Steve nodded sadly before looking up at me "im sorry. Im sorry for everything..... i should never had left"

"No you shouldn't have, but you did. You can't change that Steve"

"I know. I dont know what i was i thinking sweetheart"

"Lets not not do this again. It wont change anything.... you chose another woman over your fiancé and your son! All those years i gave you and you chose a woman you spent 5 minutes with a 100 years ago!!" I took a deep breath trying my best to stay calm and not shout at him, i didn't want to wake Grace "i loved you so much and you threw it in my face. You didn't even have the balls to say goodbye"

"I know" he admitted avoiding eye contact and we sat silently.

"If you could go back to that day, the day you left us..... would you still do it?" I asked breaking the silence.

"I dont know.... i had a beautiful life with Peggy, but i missed you and Harrison so much. There was no way to get back to you, the machine hadn't been invented yet so i had no choice but to embrace my life with Peggy"

"You know what? Im glad you went" i suddenly told him shrugging my shoulders "if you had of stayed here Bucky and I wouldn't be together" i saw Steve grit his teeth hearing me mention his best friend "and i can't imagine my life without him, i love him more than any man I've loved before. I thought what you and i had was the real deal, my big love..... but i was so wrong. Bucky is it for me Steve, so i guess i should be thanking you for leaving"

"Theres no second chance for us is there?"

"No. Maybe down the line somewhere we can try to be friends but it'll never be what it was" I got up getting ready to leave when he cleared his throat and wiped away a few tears that had escaped.

"What about Harrison?.... can i spend some time with him? I know i dont deserve it but I've missed him so much"

"Thats up to Harrison. I cant make him spend time with you Steve, but if he wants to.... its something we can discuss. Look i really need to get home, bye Steve".

Saving grace tags:

@jennmurawski13 @kenzieam @captainchrisstan

@s-t-r-i-k-e-us @lets--be-honest

@ms-betsy-fangirl @damnaged-princess

@farfromtommy @disneylovingal @lbuck121

@billweasleey @rynabarnesrogers

@heathens-takeitsl0w @lacontroller1991

@supervengerslock @barnesandrogersworld

@mariswritingforfun @perpetually-tuned-out

@thummbelina @marvelousstyles

@broco8 @ineffableg-irl

#sebastian stan #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #captain america #bucky x reader #chris evans #steve rogers #steve x reader #reader insert #saving grace

[mrs-mikko-rantanen]

Uhm, my day was decent? I mean aside from the fact that mornings exist and I did not want to wake up in time for my shift at work. But. And the end of the day when I have literal hours to do stuff after.. it works out cuz. Usually I get off and its oh shit I have enough time to halfway emotionally recharge and then its time for bed.

But. I got in and E^2 had put like. My name down on the schedule, and. That was great really. And we had this sheet for sign up of, basically what areas you want to be personally responsible for. And I signed light and it was great. And I dont think anyone really noticed cuz the manager wasn't there and no one else really looked at the schedule or anything else. But. It made me happy.

Still haven't gotten my name tag changed and honestly I dont think I'm going to. Cuz. I feel like I'm just being a bother asking again. But. It is what it is I guess.

I got off at five and its now nine and ive just been vibing in the car listening and singing to Spotify since I got off just trying to keep the sad at bay. And I should probably go home but. I dont want to. Cuz I know I'm just gonna wallow in the sad and self destructive tendencies if i go home.. If I ask nicely will the fae take me in as one of their own and I can become a cryptid in the woods?????

I have a three day weekend coming up and im considering doing a touch up on my hair since its really washed out. But I cant decide if I wanna keep it fully red or try and do like an ombre double tone thingy.. but I'm not sure what other color I'd try to do to the tips? Idk

I kinda wish my hair was longer so I could do like. The galaxy hair thing? Where its various shades of purple and blue and some pink and it looks different depending on how you style it. But I also know attempting to grow my hair out longer than I already plan to is a bad idea, cuz the sides and back are already getting too long and I hate it. But I wish I could do fun stuff with it too

Oh well. The duality of man i guess..

Uhm. I bought a giant plastic egg the other day, that reminds me of a dragons egg kinda. And I'm trying to decide if I should keep a hoard of dice in there or a hoard of crystals. Cuz. Dice and the clacky math rocks. But. Also shiny crystally gems

Speaking of dice I also really kinda want to try and get into a dnd group, but social anxiety and I have zero idea where to start with that so. That's fun.

Im currently resisting the urge to go and get more holes and metal in my head too. I just. The red hair makes me feel cool and powerful and I wanna look punk and

Sorry I've been rambling for like half a novel. I'll stop now before I get annoying. I mean I definitely already am. But you asked for asks and distractions and 👉👈 I love you

Id ask about your day but you seem to want a distraction from that sooo. How about, got any fun headcanons to share??

Thats awesome on the name front!!! I saw that and I got really excited for you when you posted the picture this morning, honestly I think you should bring up the nametag again, esspecially if its showing up on the schedule too. (Oddly enough I kicked around the idea of using a new name with friends and sruff today which is weird mostly bc like i like my name irl, its fairly androgynous and it makes me happy and i love my online name bc it means me :))

My vote is two tone!! I almost did a pink/purple ombre with my hair this round so I say do ittttt (that's also what I say about the extra holes and metal. Do itttttrrr)

That would be a hard choice but u do really like the idea of a giant dragons egg full of dice ngl. I need to find some people to play with too. I'm trying to get b and c in on something but idk if its ever really gonna pan out the way I want it too. My town actually has a pretty active dnd community but I am way too new and way too socially anxious to ever join something like that so I feel you there.

100% not annoying, each paragraph made me smile more. :)

My day was actually mostly ok, i just sorta ruined it with Danny at home. I just pointed out that the idealized dream band life that I wanted and thought I had was what she got and that it made me kinda jealous and she pointed out (correctly) that I'm jealous of so many aspects of her life that she now has a list of things she can't talk to me about for fear of setting me into a spiral and just. Yeah. That wasnt fun.

But work was ok. The kids all were really tierd so there was a fair bit of crying going on, but the weather was really nice so we got to go outside with them for a long time and that was very nice. I also got some really sweet cuddles from a few of them that made me very happy.

Oh! I also have a funny story about them!! So I was squatting (my main position is almost like Spiderman bc I'm down on the kids' level but i can also get up and move if I need to pretty quick) and one of the girls goes and gets a book, then stands right in front of me and points at the floor and says "sit" in the most authoritative voice I have ever hear from a 1 1/2 year old 😂 as soon as I sat down she was in my lap and opening the book so I could read to her.

As far as headcanons.... Sadly my brain is bouncimg mostly art ideas for the Tamgled au and not anything of substance so I may take a crack at that later. Otherwise I keep thinking about whumped up Will crying on the floor and Maurie finding him. Really I'm just thinking about Maurie and Will being bros. A lot. So much. God I love them.

#also i love you

[your-ace-cousin-clover]

ahhhh hi sorry for the LATE response, life's been kinda wild lately

anyway, i'm really glad you liked the poem & i don't mind you sharing it :)

(plus, a new prompt sounds nice)

(&btw, richard siken's new book is gonna be called "blue jupiters" (as far as i know copper canyon press will publish it))

also, happy you liked the recs! i found it cool how you said "the way god chooses to escape from his own reality through someone who does not believe enough in him to question him at first"! couldn't have put it better myself.

(sorry if this ask seems all over the place, i just have to get somewhere and i'm gonna be mad late - but i really want to finally send a response)

i enjoyed your recommendations a lot so let me elaborate real quick-

the problem with travel:

right off the bat, same.

traveling does always make me feel like i'm starting a new chapter and i should act accordingly.

love "kill the kid stuff, start to act my numbers" - the choice of words you use when writing is so important. (thats why i cant judge anyone who spends a long ass time on thesaurus! sometimes writing really does feel like looking through a lost & found or fishing the right word out of a goodwill bin! flipping through a magazine in search for the right word to cut out and stick on your collage!) imagine how substantially different the poem would sound if limon had written "start to act my age" instead of "start to act my numbers"

"[...] - we’re small

and flawed, but I want to be

who I am, going where

I’m going, all over again."

this^ part kills me in a good way

accident report in the tall, tall weeds:

"my ex got hit by a bus"

gets right to the point. kinda like a short story? an immediate jump into action

i might've said this before but i like it when poems tell stories (i mean i guess they all do, in a way, but i specifically mean the ones that have clear characters? if that makes sense)

"No tampering with the great universal brake wires."

ahhh yeah - when you feel like a thought can cause real life consequences

"When the plane went down in San Francisco,

I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes.

He memorizes the wrecked metal details,

the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke.

Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes:

The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa.

How people go on, and how people don’t.

It was almost a year before I learned

that his brother was a pilot.

I can’t help it,

I love the way men love."

^ don't you love it when a poem beats your heart to a pulp?

"What I saw in the men who came before,

sometimes I don’t want to say this out loud,

was someone I could hold up to my ear

and hear the ocean, something I could say my name into,

and have it returned in the inky waves."

self recognition through the other! yeah! sometimes people are people and sometimes people are mirrors and i know this wasn't her point but aren't we all just saying "hey! this is how i feel! do you feel like that too?" and sometimes "language is complicated but i think you know exactly what i mean and i know what you mean too!" and "when our experience overlaps the cosmic alone-ness becomes bearable!"

shit i'd love to drop another rec but i REALLY have to go now! hope to hear from you soon

-cat

Well, lmao Cat now, I'm the one who's late in replying, but yeah, I've been really busy. Now, I've got a bit of a time to reply to your ask.

First of all, "Don't You Wonder, Sometimes?" by Tracy Smith is a really interesting poem especially centred around Bowie. I love how the poet makes Bowie into a mythical being, like a sort of a spirit rather than a mortal man.

"Not God, exactly. More like-

Some thin-hipped glittering Bowie-being"

I love how the poem takes in the spirit of Bowie as something that will keep living on -

"Saying nothing is lost, that everything lives on waiting only

To be wanted back badly enough?

Bowie will never die. Nothing will come for him in his sleep

Or charging through his veins. And he’ll never grow old,"

It's just a beautiful way to think of the artist living on despite their death. They live through those they have touched with their art as well as their art themselves.

"In which I’m forever a child looking out my window at the night sky

Thinking one day I’ll touch the world with bare hands

Even if it burns."

And I just simply love these lines ^^^ . I love the poem touches up on reincarnation. It's interesting as it mentions how people are reincarnated a few times and then, they go to the beyond.

"And how many lives

Before take-off, before we find ourselves

Beyond ourselves, all glam-glow, all twinkle and gold?"

And finally, I love how the deification fo Bowie continues making him into a cryptid? That's the best way I can describe it honestly.

"When a man his size can meet

Your eyes for just a blip of time

And send a thought like SHINE

SHINE SHINE SHINE SHINE

Straight to your mind. Bowie,

I want to believe you."

(I followed your style of picking up lines and talking about them - it's a pretty fun thing to do)

{Purple happens to be my fav colour so, yeah I annotated with purple}

And yeah, language is funky like that. Honestly, I love the fact that people swap art with each and it's like every though we're different, you go through the same emotions. No matter whatever niche emotion is, someone has already written about it! If they haven't, you can always write it!

This reminded of a favourite poem of mine (tw : homophobia and sort of death ? though) which reminds me of the awkwardness of telling people I'm queer / coming out to them. It's called Three A.M. by Jill McDonough.

Also, I've been reading some more stuff to rec them and to hear your thoughts on them. It's all food - themed because I really got into food poetry last week. And as I was talking to a lovely mutual about the intimacy of cooking food and feeding someone.

I'd highly rec the movie "Big Eden". It's a wonderful gay rom-com movie with no homophobia at all and a lot of intimate cooking and wanting to make sure that your crush is loved and taken care off.

But anyway -

Having a Coke with You by Frank O'Hara

Perhaps the World Ends Here by Joy Harjo

The Orange by Wendy Cope

For Grace, After A Party by Frank O'Hara

Eating Together by Li-Young Lee

And these two posts are where I got these poems from, so perhaps you could read the other ones in the list.

Food Poems 1

Food Poems 2

And also, you're into Succession! Yay!! Are you into Tomgreg? If you're not, that's chill. But, like more Tomgreg people the better. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the show too! :) And like I said before, I really enjoyed your Kendall edit! Did you get a chance to watch my Tomgreg edit? It's called Don't Blame Me, I put it on my Tumblr. (No pressure if you can't)

And I have to ask, because I forgot, what are your pronouns, Cat? I use she/they. I just wanted to ask what you want me to use while referring to you. And let me know if you wanna do another poetry writing swap again.

Anyway, that's it for now! Let me know what you think! I hope to hear from you soon :)

#Cat Anon #Succession #Poetry #Clover speaks #Food

[fart-gate]

SGA

Season 5 Episode 6

Notes by me

- ive heard this episode is Rodney centric with lots of cough whump cough. So that should be fun for me hehehehehehe HERE WE GO LADS

- well it just gets right into it doesnt it huh

- hes acting like he has some sort of brain damage ?? Maybe bad head injury I'm guessing

- hes calling for john 😫💟

- what happened someone tell me

- infected????

- hes DYING ! Of what!!!! Somebody say what it is!!!!

- while the theme plays i want to acknowledge davids exquisite acting skillz 👌👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

- a few hrs earlier.....or days.....idk they didnt say lol

- woolseys bored when they arent there haha

- theyre trapped on TOP OF THE GATE THIS IS GOOD SHIT

- shivering 😌

- wet team atlantis is aahhh

- he had a fever immediately? Suspicious

- this shot of them on the gate in the middle of the lake with no lights but the wormhole POETIC CINEMA

- ronon carrying Rodney 💖💗💖

- wait hes back to normal? I dont trust it

- "our boy" AAWW

- back to the present! This is sad I'm sad

- again davids acting is just 🔥🔥🔥

- "Meredith?" 😭😭💟

- "I'm sick" you know when boromir keeps getting shot with arrows and when you think its over he gets shot with another one. This is what watching this episode feels like. I'm boromir

- ronon hugs are the best. I mean who doesnt want to hug Jason mamoa? Hes like hugging a bear that can tear your head off but youre 84% sure he wont

- ronon WHAT theres a place where he can be himself again?? Oh its dangerous yeah that tracks with ronons previous ideas

- WOA Rodney looks handsome in this video log

- something he wanted to say to keller. His feelings about her maybe??? 5 bucks!

- "second childhood" ronon has dealt with it before thats cool

- awwww the fruit cup

- ronon wants to save him so bad 😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗

- "you learned to hunt when you were 6?" I'm laughing,woolsey, have you MET HIM. NO ONE ELSE IS SURPRISED LMFAO

- ronon #1 Rodney Protector

- woolseys story about his dad with alzheimers . I get it. my grandma has that.

- "I'll take him myself"

- SHUT UP !!! PROTECTIVE RONON LIVES IN MY HEAD RENT FREE!!!! I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER SOUND ON THIS EARTH UNLESS IT IS THIS DIALOGUE ON REPEAT

- lOVE how ronon doesnt do anything when keller says rodneys not leaving without her permission. The respect this man has for everyone

- "ronon dex"

"Thats right buddy"

DECEASED 💀 bye world it was nice knowing ya. Tattoo this dialogue on the back of my eyelids

- "hey john!" I CANT TAKE THIS

- come on keller! I get not wanting him to be in danger but I mean...if theres even a chance.....

- jeannie pulls thru 💪 off to wraith territory! I just realised thats probably not a good thing

- he recites pie in one of his videos

- Woolsey wants Rodney to know he said goodbye??? Unrealistic. Blocked

- sending a malp is a good idea. They should keep doing that

- "john!"

- oh NO hes so scared. David should really have an award for this episode

- john being so sweet 💖💖💖

- "I drink beer?" "Alot!" Lmao

- im sorry but Rodney immediately going to johns courters when he couldnt find anyone.....its true love

- "how about we say goodbye now?"

"NO"

Damn ok lol

- "pretty soon I wont remember who you are!"

"Then I'll remind you!"

I mean I have nothing to say to this

- bossy!John when hes emotional

- "youre a good friend arthur" THAT LAUGH HAD TO BE REAL. WAS THAT IMPROV. IT LOOKED LIKE IMPROV. johns laugh makes ME laugh . CUTE

- im in love with how theyre all taking turns in taking care of Rodney like making sure hes walking okay and stuff. Its amazing how much everyone loves him even though he was quite a dick in the beginning and no one liked him. I just love how much hes grown and how close they all got to each other. Thats the shit I love. Warms my heart.

- "john!"

- "jeannie?" HES BACK

- in his video log he said he keeps seeing his mom? Thats...really sad actually

- "I DIE?!?!?" oh god hes panicking again

- wow keller was right about his reaction I guess

- is this gonna be The Only Person That Can Save Him Is Him

- "save me some ham" lol

- WOW WHAT A SCREAM

- it retracted from the radiation? So its smaller.... Do the surgery!

- YES IM RIGHT !!! GO KELLER!!

- weak Rodney is good stuff

- "youve thrown an awful lot at me in very little time"

"Thats life"

OK RONON. BLUNT AS FUCK

- his goodbye video

- john helping with the surgery even tho he clearly isnt trained for this. Lord let nothing go wrong pls

- EW this is gross

- its coming out by itself??

- "you could have stepped on it"

"She told me to shoot it"

Ronon will take any opportunity to shoot things

- thats all they had to do!!!! Can you imagine.....now they can let the word out and tell everyone around the galaxy to do this when one of their elders gets the parasite! Just go to a cave and do unsanitized surgery

- "thank you" fuck my life

- "I love you. Ive loved you for some time now" THERE IT IS. what a reveal. She's crying! Oh i cant take this. I'm glad that they realise feelings after so long of knowing eachother instead of right after they met. We got to see their relationship grow!! Also someone owes me 5 bucks

- does she love him back???? DOES SHE

I NEED ANSWERS

#stargate atlantis season 5 #DOES SHE!!!!!! #-rodney whump all episode- loss of memory-weak-child like- head pain- shivering in the beginning- field surgery- hospital scenes #noises with head pain!!! #ive heard this episode was good shit and i must say it was GOOD SHIT #whump

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x you #mha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakusquad #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha deku #mha fanfiction #mha todoroki #mha fluff