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#(i will. listen to that song. it's literally the story of their relationship. i still don't believe it wasn't written about them.)
kazoosandfannypacks · 8 months
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1989 is so ScarletQueen coded and I will die on this hill.
#taylor swift#once upon a time in wonderland#scarlet queen#will scarlet#anastasia ouatiw#will x anastasia#Welcome to New York is about Will going to Storybrooke#Out of the Woods has the line 'we were built to fall apart and fall back together'#'ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY' is basically a summary of Will's entire feelings about Ana#I Wish You Would is literally just them in a modern au. 😭😭😭#BAD BLOOD IS THEM TOO#'say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress' and then when Will makes Liz into his Ideal Woman she's wearing a dress that resembles the#dress Anastasia was wearing when he last saw her#'THIS LOVE IS REAL THIS LOVE IS RED THIS LOVE IS ALIVE BACK FROM THE DEAD WOAHOHOH' IN ALL OF WONDERLAND THEY WERE THE ONLY THING THAT WAS#REAL FOR EACH OTHER!!! AND SHE'S THE RED QUEEN!!! AND SHE CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭#'i know places' is them pre-wonderland. the place they ran to hide from people judging them for choosig each other was wonderland.#Clean is a song Will thinks he can sing now that he doesn't have his heart anymore#WONDERLAND. NEED I SAY MORE?#(i will. listen to that song. it's literally the story of their relationship. i still don't believe it wasn't written about them.)#You Are In Love is kinda generic but yes they are in love#and they COULD build a castle out of the bricks thrown at them. the universally hated queen and the universally wanted thief.#also that one mentions SCARLET letters and PLAYING CARDS and CASTLES it's literally about them. Heartbreak IS wonderland's national anthem.#and i know i didn't mention all of 1989's song so here's a bonus.#Will Scarlet was Sunshine and Anastasia was Midnight Rain.#(he wanted it comfortable. she wanted that pain. he wanted a bride. she was making her own name. chasing that fame. he stayed the same.#and both of them changed like midnight rain.)
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shitpostingkats · 9 months
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An Asexual's love letter to Good Omens 2
There's an infamous quote by Neil Gaiman going around, regarding the general vibe of season 2, and many people (I believe humorously) yelling that it could not be further from the truth. Particularly in the last episode, where that happens.
I disagree.
The final episode of season 2 was deeply, deeply comforting to me. 
I am asexual. Have been my whole life. Even before I had the words to describe what that was, child-me had this feeling in their gut of being an outlier, that everyone was exaggerating, or in on some joke, that I wasn’t privy to. Because I was bombarded on all sides by shows and movies and books, telling the same story of love, again, and again, and AGAIN. It’s drilled into our brains with the same fervor as the days of the week, or the quadratic formula. Meet-cute -> misunderstanding ->declaration of feelings ->kiss. More or less steps can be added to account for runtime or complexity of narrative, but that’s the basic structure that a relationship follows. It MUST be, because that’s the formula every character who's ever been in a story goes through, often times when it even feels like an add-on, like it’s only there because this is a story, there HAS to be a romance. And it has to follow the steps.
For a long time, I felt love wasn’t for me, because if there’s only one way to be in love, I sure as hell wasn’t feeling it. 
Instead, the relationship I ended up in looked a lot like what Beezlebub and Gabriel go through. Meeting someone routinely until it starts to feel comfortable. Getting to know them and slowly growing more attached. Eating chips and listening to music.
We like to joke whenever someone asks us how long we’ve been together, because the answer is we just sort of slowly fell into it, and we honestly don’t know when the line got blurred between ‘friends’ and ‘partners’. And, at least for me, a good deal of that confusion, that hesitancy to label, came from the fact that what I was feeling, what we were, couldn’t be love. It couldn’t be romantic. 
We were just quiet and gentle.
And that wasn’t love.
Because it was slow, because it wasn’t physical, because there was no structure aside from consistency and companionship. Because it didn’t follow the Rules.
Then I found myself in stories, and it felt like a revelation.
Beelzebub and Gabriel aren’t the first time I’ve seen a love like I feel represented in a narrative, but it never stops feeling special. And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop celebrating it.
Throughout the sequence in the pub, I kept expecting them to “confirm” Gabriel and Beelzebub. A dramatic line, a kiss, a whatever. That’s what I’ve been taught to expect, after all, that’s the only way a relationship is “real”. Of course, this doesn't mean Crowley and Aziraphale sharing a dramatic kiss is wrong, or that I can’t see why it resonated with so many people, but for me. Those moments in the pub are worth so much more.The last scene might have been literally showstopping, but those handful of moments between the duke of hell and an archangel were the beating heart of the season for me. A simple love story in four scenes. No kisses. No ‘I love you’s. Not even any definition of what. The love Gabriel and Beelzebub have is strong enough for them to both want to shatter their worlds and flee their lives and it's just. 
It's just that. 
Two people in a pub, playing the other's favorite song, giving a little gift, buying a packet of crisps. 
That sequence means far more to me than any kiss ever could.
Love isn’t only real when it's hot and sudden and ephemeral, it can also be
Quiet.
And gentle.
And still romantic.
Still real.
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shorelinnes · 1 year
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in my han feelings tonight.....
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thoughts-reasons · 1 year
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Manipulative
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pairing: coriolanus snow x f!reader, past oc x f!reader.
summary: he’s fallen way too deep, and he knows that.
a/n: i am in no way romanticizing nor defending his actions, he sucks as a person, this is for funsies, keep that in mind. remember he’s literally responsible for mass murders of children. also this idea is cliche ik ik. but, if you want more I will do more with original ideas.
reader has somewhat long hair, BUT no other descriptions of the reader. and I don’t usually do that. just for this post:)
warnings: yandere themes, toxicity, manipulative behavior(manipulation) obsession, possessiveness, no fluff, implied/referenced murder, slight blood, narcissistic tendencies, delusion, unhealed trauma, implied stalking, mild violence.
The meadow was where you’d often go. Ever since the games, it was a stress reliever, humming some songs or even just listening to the birds chirp.
After Coriolanus was sent to be a peacekeeper, You were sent home. District 12 was your home. You sat down on the cold rock. You were more of an creative artist than musician. Sometimes you wrote songs, and sometimes you wrote poems or just stories.
But you didn’t feel like doing anything today, just admiring the breeze in front of you. You were fairly zoned out when you hear a twig snap, and turn around.
You sigh of relief.”Sorry. Still have those instincts from the games.” You rushed over, not doing much. Still in disbelief he really was there.
You didn’t expect him to be here. But here he was. “It leaves quite the impression, He chuckled. It was a long embrace, and you say,”You found me. Quite surprised.”
“You figured I would, He teased. “Not this fast, and really it was hope, You tease right back, lips on his, it was passionate and sweet, ideal for a reunion.
“The sun’s hot, come in the shade, You offer. He had some ice, now melted and offered it.”Here. For you.” “Thank you, You reply.
You were very thirsty. The moment the water hit your tongue you were in heaven. “This must be the only cold thing in November, he joked.
You laugh in response.”So, Coriolanus Snow, What are you doing in the Meadow?” You were half joking. You never were fully serious. At least until it came to your feelings for him.
“Spending some time with my girl, He replies. The word My, a possessive tone, You notice. But brush it off.
“It’s unbelievable, You admit.”Truly. But I was surprised they brought me back. I swore It was all me.” “But it wasn’t, he points out. You look at him.”Clearly they didn’t believe me.”
His lips were on yours again, long and passionate. You two hadn’t seen each other since the games ended.
“Well, It was hard to believe for me too, He admits.”Tell me what happened after.” It was difficult to recall everything. The games were a nightmare. Especially the Arena. And Mayfair.
As the two of you share the water, You couldn’t help but wonder as he told stories, exchanging them, if something was wrong.
“Poor Jessup, You say sympathetically.”He didn’t deserve that. It was you, though, wasn’t it? The one who killed Bobbin?”
“I had to, Coriolanus replied.”He tried to kill me.” “I’m not saying what you did was wrong, but I suppose killing is for survival in the Arena, You reply. Snow only nodded.
“I heard the others brag, You say.”So I know. I thought the worst happened. You know, that you were dead.”
Heading back up beside him, You still couldn’t believe he was here. Whatever relationship you had, seemed to grow.
“What have you been up to? He asks, curiously.”It’s been a while.” “It has, you laugh.”And truly, not much. A few performances here and then. At the Hob, Maude Ivory’s an amazing singer like Lucy Gray.”
For a mere moment, You were in complete bliss. And that night was a normal evening for the Covey. Your parents were killed, well, your adoptive parents. They took you in, then Maude Ivory came along, your younger sister.
You became a part of the Covey. Until of course, their murders. But you had her, at least. “You want one? A peacekeeper asks, referring to liquor.”You might need it for your performance.”
“Sure, You grin, taking a swig, not making a reaction to the bitterness of it.”You’re right. I might need it.” Lucy Gray was a beautiful singer, but tonight, let you perform.
“Are you sure? I’m not the songbird, You tease. “I’m sure, and Maude Ivory wanted you to, She sweetly says. Your cousin was always the songbird.
“Besides, I think he’d like to hear you sing, Lucy Gray smirked. You knew who she was referring to. Truly the one who knew of your relationship, but by accident.
You wore a yellow dress, not too short but not too long either, and sunflowers in your hair. You wanted to have a good impression.
You tease her,”I think he’d like to hear you.�� But you went up there, guitar in hand. A talent that you and Lucy Gray both had. It was the genes, you swore.
But you amazed the crowd as you sang. You were no Songbird. But you had some talent. And the whole time your eyes were on him.
It made him feel more special, in a way. Like the only person could make you feel this happy was him. Him. You were his, at least in his eyes.
But you did a wonderful performance. You mostly did instruments and stood in the background. You didn’t sing much.
Even though you were aware he was there, you went on, even with butterflies in your stomach. It was later that evening that things went downhill.
You said goodbye, even to Coriolanus, saying,”I shouldn’t be out so late anyway. But I promise, straight tomorrow. I’m sure you have peacekeeper things to do, anyway.”
He smiles.”It’s alright. You must be tired from that performance.” You laugh, then nod, quickly kissing him, then moving along.
You didn’t notice that he followed you. He was quite literally, obsessed. Especially after hearing your sweet voice. Since finding your home in the Seam, it wasn’t hard to follow you, and pretend he was there for something else.
Sometimes, he’d meet you there. Other times, didn’t even know he was there watching. He’d call it protectiveness. But it was really a sense of possessiveness over you.
That’s what it really was.
He heard your voice in your room, you sang to yourself. You sang a love song. That wasn’t hard to understand.
He had a sense of jealousy. It was clear the lyrics wasn’t about him. A past one, maybe. It wasn’t Billy Taupe. He had Lucy Gray. So who could you mentioned?
He was bloodthirsty. Or at least, had a taste for violence. He’d never say it or admit it. It was like he was a rebel. And he hated rebels.
But that didn’t stop him from feeling this way. As you danced and sang a little. Coriolanus defended his behavior, he was being protective of you. That nobody would hurt you.
He had fallen way too deep. And he was aware. You might feel the same about him, just as equally obsessed as he was. But that night, he wasn’t looking for trouble. Not much, anyway.
Someone stood beside him, admiring your singing. “Peacekeeper, huh? The male laughed. Coriolanus turns.”Yeah. Punishment. Not a choice.”
“She’s always been a singer, the male explained.”didn’t have much faith.” He wanted to know how the male knew that.
“How do you know? Coriolanus asked, curiously. “She wrote that song about me, the male bragged and seemed proud.”One of these days she’ll get back together with me.”
You never mentioned your ex lover much. Only that he hurt you, and that he was still infatuated. You were right about that.
“She isn’t interested, Coriolanus says, coldly. His fists clenched, along with his jaw, both from the rage he was feeling.
Maybe it was his narcissistic tendencies that were showing. A feeling of shame. A feeling that, he was superior than the male standing in front of him. He’d do so much better.
And with that, he swung. He could’ve shot him. But it was the easy way. And he didn’t deserve the easy way. His blood thirst took over a little, and like Bobbin, didn’t know how far his strength would go.
He stands back, his knuckles bleeding and blood on his uniform he’d have to explain later. Maybe it was a mistake coming to visit you. Your singing had stopped.
He pants. What had he done? Standing over the body, Coriolanus realized what he truly had done. And what could he do? He didn’t want a career as a peacekeeper; but his future would be damaged even further. He had to do something.
The Lake.
It brought him good memories. Swimming alongside you and the covey. But he’d have to hide the body somewhere.
It took a lot of his strength; but didn’t wear him out to drag him to the lake. It wouldn’t be too hard hiding evidence. His body would eventually disappear and Coriolanus doubted anybody cared about him. You didn’t anymore.
And he just watched. After the blood washed off, He walked away. He left the Seam. He'd come back. But You'd be aware of it.
Morning came, and peacekeepers came knocking at your door. The whole morning was a mess. When you did eventually meet up with Coriolanus, you decided on telling him about it.
“Did you know? She asked.”I’m assuming every peacekeeper knew. The guy I used to go out with was murdered. Found in the lake.”
“We were informed today, but I wasn’t the one who found it, He lies. He did not like lying, but he had to. He held a tight grip on you.
And he wasn’t letting you go.
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baltears · 2 years
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not me feeling p/nchl/ne empathy bc of fiona apple lyrics 😑
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pedrithink · 9 months
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delicate ✩ jude bellingham
about: the massive hate you are getting on internet and the way jude stood by you, supporting you.
couple: jude bellingham x reader! singer
request: hey babyyyy! what do u think about a jude x reader (maybe olivia rodrigo fc) ?? xxx love u
face claim: olivia rodrigo
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NOW: Jude’s Bellingham talks ‘Real Madrid’, His first World Cup’s impressions & His favorite Y/N’s songs.
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comments ⬇️
user1 he’s so perfect 🥹 yn and him seemed like soulmates
user2 I REMEMBERED WHEN YN POINTED AT JUDE DURING GORGEOUS AND HE TOOK A PHOTO AND SHE WAS ALL GIGGLY
user3 yn once said “you’re so gorgeous, it actually hurts” and “they say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives. you know I love a london boy.”
user4 @user3 im yn
user5 imagine being jude bellingham and having yn write her best love songs and best title tracks about you a DREAM
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judebellingham has added to their story
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ynusername
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Liked by judebellingham, selenagomez, and 5.682.972 others
ynusername vampire song and video out now 🧛🏼. writing this song helped me sort through lots of feelings of regret, anger, and heartache. it's one of my favorite songs on the album and it felt very cathartic to finish. im so happy it's in your hands now and I hope it helps u deal with any bloodsuckers in your lite. all my thanks 4ever 🫶🏻
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judebellingham proud of you, vampie 🧛🏼🩸🥹🫶🏻
ynusername @judebellingham love u babs
user1 vampire is one of the best songs ever
user2 another song about another ex 🥱🙄
user3 @user2 literally let people write out their feelings or WHATEVER they want. obviously yall can only attack women for this tho...
user4 people calling yn boring or overrated for writing songs about her ex does not sit right w me …. like let her write about whatever she wants?? she’s 20??? all singers have songs about their ex’s???? stfu
user5 @user4 SPEAK. ON. IT
user6 "yn makes too much songs ab her ex" "all she write is break up songs, she’s so obsessed"
ok then stop listening to her songs 🤷🏻‍♀️
user7 whaaaaat 😭 why are there so many people mad that yn wrote some songs about her ex. meanwhile, there are men who only write songs about fucking hoes and using drugs and yet they still get praised for it 🥱
judebellingham
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Liked by ynusername, masonmount, and 7.899.082 others
judebellingham date night with vampie to celebrate all of her achievements, proud of u ❤️‍🩹
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ynusername 🧛🏻‍♀️🩸❤️‍🩹🧛🏼
user8 JUDE CALLING YN VAMPIE >>>>
user9 i hope i find someone who supports me the way jude supports yn
user10 ill always be soft for these two. its amazing how jude supports yn in any way he can and yn never forgets to save jude a seat. fucking POWER COUPLE!!!
user11 @user10 i just love them
user12 lets talk about the fact that at the 2020 grammys she didn’t feel like there was someone to celebrate with and now she has one and he helps her and supports her and take her on dates when she achieves more and more in her singing career 🥹
user13 yn and jude be like: happiest relationship of my life, so let’s go cheer for my breakup songs together 💕💞💓💗💖💘
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ynusername
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Liked by judebellingham, arianagrande, and 10.927.526 others
ynusername delicate is out now 🫧 surprise song for y’all, hope u like it 🫶🏻
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user14 delicate video really speaks to me. yn let go of the world's expectations of how she should act, smile and behave. once she did that, she was able to find who she was looking for. i’m shaking and crying, so so proud of our baby!!!!
user15 @user14 it’s already my favorite music video of her!!!! i love the lyrics 2
user16 these pics were taking by jude i’m CRYING and the lyrics… I JUST LOVE HIM EVEN MORE
user17 @user16 yeah 🥹 i’m so happy that she found someone that makes her feel like that
user18 delicate is one of the most beautiful songs yn has ever written, it’s so GENUINE.
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jeonride · 8 months
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skip and kiss
SUMMARY; mingi says, "you have to kiss me if you skip a song because you're being disrespectful to my music taste!"
FEATURING; song mingi x gn!reader
TAGS; fluff, established relationship (boyfriend!mingi), slight humor
WORD COUNT; 1.4 K
WARNINGS; use of pet names, some kissing, mentions of sexting (but there isn't any scene of it), suggestive
NOTES FROM KALA; inspired by the song that mingi recommended (skip and kiss by sik-k) and i missed this boy sm 😔🖐🏻 the song mingi does have a great taste in songs yuhh >> mingi song recs playlist here !
jeonride's masterlist / join the taglist here !
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The cold air from the air conditioner blows your face. You're lying on top of Mingi's chest while his back half leaning to the sofa bed, he's stroking your hair affectionately, occasionally kissing the top of your head when he's entertained by the stories you tell about your life experiences that he finds engaging. You aren't looking at each other right now. Mingi can only see your back. Yet you feel so loved in his embrace.
You love it when Mingi listens to you tell stories, making you the center of his attention. He always makes you the sole object of his attention when you tell him anecdotes or stories even though sometimes, they aren't that important, and aren't even funny. But Mingi likes to hear you ramble your thoughts to him. He stores everything about you in a room inside his brain while observing how you think when you respond to an annoying moment with your co-workers. According to Mingi, when he hears you tell him a story, he gets to know your attitude and the way you act, and how you solve problems, which inspires him to deal with difficult things in this life.
You are his role model. Mingi is your biggest fan in everything you do. Sometimes you wonder why he likes you that much. There was a moment when you were remaining silent, literally just breathing but Mingi looked at you as if you were a TV show that was so interesting and worth it for him to binge-watch.
Like now, Mingi kisses your cheek while complimenting you. "Your skin feels so soft," his compliments sound half-whispered, but you can feel his sincerity knocks your heart.
"Yeah because I applied your moisturizer." you reply with a slight touch of humor, successfully making Mingi laugh. His laugh makes you smile instantly.
"That's okay, you can use it. We can share, I don't mind."
You stroke his hand in response. Then there is a moment of silence between the two of you. You're really enjoying this moment— weekend, and you can spend time together with Mingi without worrying about unfinished assignments. Spending time with your boyfriend always manages to charge your energy again before starting a brand new day which will be just as tiring as days you successfully passed.
"Baby, I'm sorry can you hand me my phone? Wanna listen to my playlist while we're laying like this." he says, you follow Mingi's gaze to the table in front of your gray sofa bed. You get up slightly, struggling to pick up Mingi's phone on the wooden table because you are too lazy to stand. Not when you can feel the warmth of Mingi's embrace and his sturdy hands wrapped around your waist as if to imply 'don't go anywhere, please just stay in my embrace.'
You manage to grab Mingi's phone without actually standing up, then hand the phone with always pristine screen to its owner. "Here,"
"Thank you, baby." Mingi enters the password on the lockscreen. His hands are still wrapped around your waist as he holds the phone and his chin lands on your shoulder, so you get a view of what he's doing on his phone. You giggle as you look at Mingi's wallpaper— it's your photo, the one you sent him over chat. It's a selfie of you sensually licking on a lollipop, deliberately teasing Mingi. You remember sending it in the middle of the night and successfully getting Mingi to call you, asking for a sexting and you agreed.
"The wallpaper's cute,"
"Oh, shit." Mingi hides his face in the crook of your neck. "Please pretend like you don't see anything."
"And why is that?"
"I'm... embarrassed." You can feel how hot Mingi's cheeks are on your skin. You chuckle, then your hand strokes the top of his head, ruffling his hair gently because you think Mingi is so adorable right now.
"Why are you embarrassed? I remember even when sexting you were so—"
"Okay, baby. Stop. I'm really embarrassed now..."
You turn your head to the side, holding Mingi's chin with your forefinger, directing his face to look at you. He looks up, gazing at you shyly. You can see both of Mingi's ears turning red now.
"My baby being embarrassed, huh?"
Mingi nods slowly, looking adorable and delightful at the same time. Seeing how embarrassed his expression is, you don't continue your teasing.
Mingi on the other hand starts to open his playlist, and connecting his phone to the speakers in the tv room of his apartment via bluetooth. He presses the play button, it's only the first song, literally just started. But you press the skip button.
"Hey!" Mingi reprimands, his tone gets higher an octave. He seems disappointed. "You can't do that, baby. At least, not when the first song jus started!"
"But I'm in the mood to listen to the next song," you retort, cut the chase.
Mingi sighs in an unbelievable look. "Then you have to kiss me if you skip a song because you're being disrespectful with my music taste!"
"Oh come on, Mingi!" you protest. But eventually nod in agreement. This big baby of yours has to be obeyed otherwise his lips will continue to pout. "Okay then, deal."
Mingi smiles with satisfaction. He points to his soft and pink lips— that look so tempting, signaling you to kiss him. "Then kiss me. You just skipped literally the first song,"
You nod, smiling— the duchenne smile, and Mingi finds it enthralling, so lovely. You lean closer to him, kissing his lips softly. As soon as you suck on Mingi's lower lip, he instinctively opens his mouth. Returning your kiss with all his love. But when his tongue just met yours, you pull away. Mingi's face imprinted with a disappointed look, "Baby—"
"If I keep kissing you it will be a neverending make out session, Mingi. I've known you for years."
"Oh," he laughs. "You know me too well."
You return to your respective positions, you rest your head on Mingi's chest as if he was your pillow. You love hearing his heartbeat that always races when he's with you. Beating fast just for you.
Mingi's hand slowly slips into the shirt you're wearing, his shirt, the one he gave you when you arrived at his apartment. You were all wet because of the rain.
His large palm strokes your stomach, up and down. There is no lust involved, he just wants to give you a few strokes to soothe your body that had been working hard all week.
"Baby," he calls you in such a honey-like voice. "Can you just skip the next song?"
"Huh? Why?"
"I wanna be kissed by these pretty lips." Mingi strokes your lips with his thumb even though you have your back facing his face. He did it by muscle memory.
"Nope. Unfortunately the third one is also my favorite song,"
"Okay, changing rules. You have to kiss me everytime you listen to each song on my playlist."
You chortle. "Hey, that's cheating! We have to stick around to the first rule."
"Baby," he whines, with his deep ass voice though. "I'm the one who made this kissing game so I have the absolute right to change the rules."
"It's like you're forcing me to kiss you, Mingi." you shake your head acting as if you're disappointed, but a smile forms on your face. Happy just with the thought of him desperately wanting to be kissed by you.
"No, no please don't be misunderstood, I'm just... eager to—"
You kiss his lips again, at this time to shut his mouth. Mingi is surprised, of course. But he returns your kiss wholeheartedly. You open your mouth once his tongue knocks on your lips with such tenderness, wanting you to open your mouth for him and only him. Your tongue meets with his, entwining, saliva mixing. Mingi also grazes your teeth one by one with his surprisingly flexible and skilled tongue. Your fingers run to his hair, as he deepens the kiss by cupping your cheek.
The cold air from the air conditioner does nothing to lower the heat of the fire inside your chest. It's the way he kisses you that makes you weak. He feels like he wants all of you, wants to savor all of you, wants to feel the word 'baby' from your mouth on his lips while he's kissing you passionately. Everything about you is so addicting to him. Oh, you're such a lovely creature in his eyes.
Mingi ends the kiss when he can feel you need to catch your breath. He smiles, a smile that looks prettier than anything you've seen in this world. And you're sure you'll fail when you look for something more beautiful to beat his smile.
"I will never get enough of your kiss."
"Of course you do, Mingi."
And both of you laugh together, hearts feeling full with love for each other.
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© jeonride 2023. all rights reserved. please do not copy, translate, plagiarize, or repost any of my writing anywhere!
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eoieopda · 1 year
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lacuna (knj)
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lacuna (n): a blank space, a missing part
In his twenty-eight years, Kim Namjoon had made countless mistakes. Most of them were insignificant and could be shoved easily enough into the back corner of his mind. The worst of them were all tied for first place, keeping him up at night.
Loving you, losing you, and now – picking up the phone. 
Pairing: Ex!Kim Namjoon x Fem!Reader Type: One-Shot (Angst, Smut - 18+ or else.) Word Count: Like, 7K (?!) Content: ex-boyfriend au; exes to something?; literally so much angst; yearning; pov switches; oral sex (f receiving); unprotected sex; p in v penetration; cursing; texts from Yoongi. A/N: For reasons unknown, I decided to break my own heart today! The lyrics you'll see below are from "Sooner" by The Low Blow. There's also a reference to one of my favorite tv shows at the end - did you catch it? (1/9/23) The sequel, Redamancy, is finally here! (3/17/23) There is now a playlist 🥲
Sitting cross-legged on the rug, your weary, unfocused eyes stared somewhere in the vicinity of Min Yoongi. Shrouded all in black, you nearly assumed he was your sleep paralysis demon, hunched over his keyboard with his eyes narrowed in thought – but you hadn’t slept much at all lately. Not with your deadline looming overhead like the sword of Damocles. 
He relayed what was already looping through your brain. “It’s missing something.” 
You scrubbed your hands over your face, too burnt out to care if your foundation stayed where it was supposed to. “I know,” was all you said, though it wasn’t all you were thinking. Listening to this demo – this crushing song about love lost – you knew what was missing.
Or rather, who. 
Once again reading your mind, Yoongi spoke with a wary sigh. This time, he said the quiet part out loud. “Listen, I know that on a personal level, this is a terrible idea. But if you really want this track to ache –” 
“I’ll call him.” 
Yoongi turned to look at you over his shoulder. He, like you, hadn’t slept in over twenty-four hours; but his surprise still managed to crack through an otherwise impassive expression.
“You sure you want to be the one?” His frown was microscopic, but it was there and it bruised. “I have to hit him up, anyway, so I can handle this for you.” 
You’d never told him – or any of your friends, come to think of it – the details of your whatever it was with Namjoon. You couldn’t call it a breakup; that would necessitate a relationship. You couldn’t comfortably assign that word to this indescribable something.
But maybe that’s precisely why it hurt to breathe when you thought too hard about it. Maybe the thing that burned in your lungs was the fact that whatever it was wasn’t much of anything at all. 
The universally known narrative was that you met Kim Namjoon at a release party two years prior. After years of putting out extended plays, he was dropping his highly anticipated, full-length masterpiece.
That’s what your label called it; that’s what the press called it; but you couldn’t agree. That word wasn’t heavy enough – it didn’t give due credit to the pieces of himself he broke down and buried within those twelve tracks. You felt seen when you heard it. When you saw him, it was game over. 
As the story goes, you went home with him that night. While true, it was the tiniest fragment sitting sharp at the tip of an iceberg. The rest was an ill-equipped ship, sailing in slow-motion through the dark. 
He'd spent the entirety of his celebration focused on you. What you thought; what you wanted for yourself; what made that tipsy, uninhibited giggle come flying out of your chest. And then, holding his hand like it’d been tailor-made for yours, you followed his lead out of there while confused partygoers murmured in your wake. 
He fucked you like he knew you – on a cellular level – and he looked at you like you were all there was. You’d spent the entirety of the following day there, draped over him or nestled underneath him. You were never not touching in some way – in the little interludes of sleep; while cooking a breakfast too big for the two of you alone; on every surface of his apartment. 
He changed your life in those twenty-four hours, but not enough for it to stick. 
You’d spent as much time with him as you could in the year afterward, until your twin ambitions sent you both rocketing in other directions. Your various obligations never allowed you to be in the same place for long; and when they did, it was over too soon. No amount of time would ever feel like enough, but half a day, here and there, felt like a cosmic joke.
Like the universe was punishing you for wanting everything, all at once. 
Eventually, you came to a fork in the road. His career, though international, was rooted in Korea – home. Yours took you to Los Angeles, to a vastly different time zone, and a schedule that refused to make space. And you tried, but when it came down to choosing – idling together or racing forward alone – your respective dreams were so heavy that they tipped the scales.  
Neither of you could blame the other. After all, you’d both made the same decision. There was some small comfort in knowing that he understood you. That consolation couldn’t keep you warm at night when you’d instinctively reach out and find half of your bed still empty.
It would’ve been so much easier to live without him if there was some horrible betrayal to pin it all on, but he was as perfect when you lost him as he was when you found him. 
Shaky legs pushed you off the ground. Without meaning to, you groaned as your body returned to its regularly scheduled programming. Yoongi simply muttered, “Same,” as he made additional adjustments in his editing software.
You affectionally touched your knuckles to his shoulder as you passed by, though you quickly realized this gesture wasn’t made to comfort him. 
You shut the door softly behind you and headed up the hallway. Having kicked off and subsequently lost your shoes several hours ago, you padded in socked feet across the hardwood. The pattern – the various evolutions of Eevee – clashed so blatantly with the extravagance around you. Glancing down, you chuckled. At least some parts of you were still recognizable. 
The door to the stairwell creaked as you pushed it open and ducked inside. No longer camped out in the soundproof studio, you could hear the smattering of raindrops as they pummeled the exterior walls of the building. Somewhere between a drum roll and machine gun fire, you couldn’t figure out if the noise emphasized or relieved your anxiety. 
Gently, you lowered yourself down on a step halfway up the flight. As you stared down at your phone, your knee bounced of its own volition.
For once, you were thankful for the seventeen-hour time difference. This was the kind of call you needed to make at midnight, but one you didn’t want him receiving at midnight. It felt so much safer in daylight.
At least one of you had eyes on the sun. 
You’d deleted his number from your phone months ago because you thought it might help you let go. It didn’t. And to make matters worse, you still knew it by heart. As you typed it out easily, you wished this realization surprised you. You also wished that you’d catch him at a bad time, so you could simply leave a message. 
You’d never been lucky, though, had you?
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Namjoon was half-asleep at a café table when the vibration of his phone against the wrought metal snapped him out of it. In his under-caffeinated daze, he couldn’t determine what that unbearable grinding noise was.
He could, however, see the way the elderly woman nearby was scowling at him. He furrowed his brows and blinked back at her; silently asking what the fuck her problem was. Just as silently, she pointed an angry, wrinkled finger to his tabletop. 
By the time his brain kicked into gear, he was too late. He picked up his now-quiet phone and nearly dropped it in an instant when he saw your name tied to a missed call.
He didn’t think twice before returning it – he should have – having figured there was only one way to know if he was truly hallucinating. You picked up immediately in a voice so you that he couldn’t have imagined it. He knew because he'd already tried.
“Hey.” 
People who didn’t know you often mistook the natural rasp of your voice for tiredness, but he did know you. You were beyond exhausted, more so than the last time he’d heard from you. Five months and twenty-one days ago.
This sounded like another all-nighter; like you got so consumed in creating that you couldn’t sleep until you finished. Remembering you like this opened a black hole in his chest – all this fondness with nowhere to go, collapsing in on itself, pulling.
What kind of masochist was he, voluntarily subjecting himself to this conversation? 
“Hey,” He croaked. Even his voice didn't know what to do. 
He heard shuffling on your end. You always pinned your phone between your right ear and shoulder to start — he immediately recognized the sound of your hair against the receiver when you switched it to your left side. Vanilla and honey flooded his nose despite the thousands of miles that separated him from the scent of your shampoo. 
There were a thousand questions spinning dizzy in his mind, but he couldn’t untangle them to spit one out. The longer you both remained quiet, the worse it got – and the worse he felt for his silence. Even without seeing you, he knew that your brows were knitting together. He knew that quiet made you feel too exposed. 
Namjoon cleared his throat to speak at the same moment you asked, “How are you?” His words echoed, a half-second from being uttered in unison. 
He prayed to any god that he’d stop feeling so nervous. There was no reason to be, not with you. You were his comfort zone, his safe space and – oh. Past tense.
Presently, you were – what, exactly? Could he call you an “ex” if you’d never had a title? It all felt too juvenile, hearing people whisper about his girlfriend. You were –fuck – You were home, and now his house was haunted.
A ghost. 
“I’ve been good,” he said quickly, planting a hollow smile on his face that wouldn’t have convinced you if you were there. Liar, liar, liar. “Busy. You sound –” 
“Awful?”
“– like you’ve been working all night.” 
He heard a sheepish chuckle and his clumsy, thudding heart went flying off into the void.
“That’s actually why I’m calling,” you admitted in a voice so tiny he nearly missed it, “And I wouldn’t be – I promise – if I could’ve bothered anyone else with this. This one, though… when I hear it in my head, I can’t imagine anyone –” 
“Say less.” 
It slipped out of him automatically. He couldn’t stop it. Now it was dangling there in dead air where he couldn’t reach it and shove it back down his throat. He must have said that to you a thousand times, giving you whatever you needed before you could even finish asking.
This was the first time he’d ever said it without punctuating it with a kiss to your forehead, though. And now, his equilibrium was off, like the staircase had one less step than he was expecting. 
When you finally broke the silence, he could’ve sworn he heard you sniffle, but he quickly kicked that thought back into the cage it escaped from. Your voice didn’t sound sad at all, so you couldn’t have been crying. Why would you be?
“I can have Yoongi send you what we have so far, lyrics too. If you’re interested, just let me know – verse, bridge, whatever you want.” 
“You’re with Yoongi?” 
It came out exactly as he hadn't intended – accusatory. It was no business of his who you spent time with, professionally or otherwise. And it didn’t even surprise him that Yoongi would stick around after the – whatever it was. All your shared friends stayed shared. His confusion was solely that Yoongi never mentioned working with you, let alone flying stateside to do so. 
Why hadn’t Yoongi said something? Did he assume Namjoon wouldn’t be interested in hearing about your project? Because he would - he kept up with all of your releases, even if it hurt. Was he scared that the mere mention of you would exacerbate the tailspin Namjoon was barely surviving?
Or was it something else? 
“Yeah, he got here a few days ago. I offered to send the vocals to him, but he said he wanted In-N-Out,” Your laugh, even under the weight of your sleepiness, still packed a punch. “Might be the longest trip anyone’s ever made for animal-style fries.” 
Namjoon felt like he was going to pass out, but for your sake, he tried to echo your laugh. “Sounds like he’s got his priorities in order, as usual.” 
That uncomfortable silence crawled back in and settled in the space between you. It never used to be like this. His mouth remained open as if his broken brain could think of a single thing to say. There were hours in every second that passed, but he didn’t hang up – and neither did you. 
“So, if I figure something out, I can shoot it back over –” 
You interrupted this time.
“No need,” You chirped. You must’ve sensed that his train of thought now consisted only of question marks because you dove right back in, “I’ll be in Seoul at the end of the month, so we can put all the pieces together then.” 
Please be speaking metaphorically. Please say – 
“I’ve gotta hop off now, but it was –” Your voice petered out at the end of your statement, and he didn’t know what to do within the pause.
What pleasantry would you settle on to end this conversation? Was it nice to hear from him, or did you also feel like you’d walked through the emotional equivalent of a car wash?  
It was heavy when you exhaled the amendment, hitting the ground with a thud that could’ve knocked him over.
It was torture, and it drop-kicked him into the abyss at full-speed. No light above, no hope below. A black hole that he kept selfishly refusing to close – all because he answered your call. 
“Thank you, Joonie.” 
Fuck. He was doomed.
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You spent a shocking percentage of your life on international flights. It was a privilege – you knew it – to travel to the extent that you did, but it was so lonely.
If you were flying, there were two justifications. The first was the most common – touring. You’d touch down in cities all over the world, stay for a few hours, and then you’d leave again as soon as you could blink.
Your interactions were limited, either one-sided conversations from a stage; or facilitated entirely by a local translator. Never truly connecting, missed phone calls and texts sent too late to get a response. The same stale conversations with the crew that had been stuck with you for months. 
The second was less common, and somehow even lonelier – visiting a home that was no longer yours. 
It always went the same way. You’d touch down at the Incheon International Airport in your home country and feel just as foreign as the tourists bustling around you. You’d gather a suitcase’s worth of belongings and try not to think about the fact that they – and everything else you owned – once lived there, too. You’d hit customs and then, as a reward, snag yourself some boba from the café on your way out the door. 
In all those trips, you’d never once hailed a cab because Namjoon was always waiting. You’d hear him before you saw him with how loud he kept his car’s stereo, but when you did finally lay eyes on him, you’d light up like a sparkler. He’d shower you with affection – publicly, despite his usually private nature – and swap out the luggage in your hands for some thoughtful surprise. Flowers, usually, after painstaking deliberation over the meaning he wanted to convey. 
Now, you stood on the sidewalk with your empty hand in the air. 
Shortly after settling into your cab, you fell asleep. The person who would have gently scolded you for taking this risk wasn’t there to do so. Instead, you woke up stiff and disoriented to the sound of your driver honking his horn. You quickly learned that he wasn’t honking at traffic; he was honking at you with a scowl on his face. 
“Time to go! Wake up – your stop!” 
He was speaking in English, so it took you a few moments to determine whether you were dreaming. Impatient, he honked again.
Did he think you were a tourist? Was he right?
Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you threw the door open and hurled yourself out. You ran to the trunk, snatched your suitcase, and tried not to remember that you didn't used to have to do this part yourself.
Yoongi had the foresight to give you a spare keycard before leaving California, so you were able to get into his building quickly – before you were honked at again. Spoken to in English again, like this place had never been home.
You, belonging nowhere and to no one, kept yourself together until the elevator doors gave you some semblance of shelter. 
Alone, alone, alone, you cried so hard that your shoulders shook. The mirrored walls around you showed infinite versions of you, all pitiful like you were still that little girl who’d gotten separated from her parents at an amusement park. It was incredible how you felt smaller in that elevator than you did as a child.
And fuck, did that embarrassment make you cry even harder. 
Eventually, those doors would have to re-open, and you’d have to let yourself into Yoongi’s unoccupied penthouse just to wait for his return. You were so sick of walking into empty apartments and hearing nothing but your own footsteps. No warmth, no laughter, just a black hole of your own creation. 
You chose this, you reminded yourself. This is what you wanted, wasn’t it? You were so busy chasing broader horizons, you didn't notice that the sun had disappeared. If you’d known – really, truly known – what the fall would be like, would you have taken that leap of faith? No, you think, but you did and there’s no jumping back into the airplane once you’ve dived out of it.
Ding. 
There was a post-it note waiting for you on the inside of Yoongi’s door that you would’ve missed if you hadn’t taken so much time to shut it behind you. His handwriting was shockingly neat for someone who was always in a rush. His note told you that he’d be home in two hours, that there was food for you in the refrigerator, and that you should help yourself to whatever you needed. 
The sinkhole in your stomach wasn’t created by hunger, so you pushed that down to the bottom of your to-do list and dragged your luggage to the guest bedroom down the hall.
Every inch of his place was undeniably Yoongi – monochromatic and edgy, but still so confusingly inviting. His guest room was similar in style, but with more personalized touches than most visitors tended to expect. Framed photos of friends, and the collaborators he was most proud to work with.
Your eyes eventually found one of you, beaming brightly. 
It hurt to look, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away. It was taken in a photobooth at Kim Seokjin’s wedding last spring. You were sandwiched on a small bench seat between Yoongi and Namjoon.
The former, like you, was captured in the middle of a laugh - smiling at the camera with all teeth, eyes crinkled at the edges but still sparkling. The latter wasn’t looking at the camera at all – just you, like you were all there was. 
Forcing yourself to look away, you returned the frame to its place on the vanity and kept moving. Your primary instinct was to hurl yourself into the plush bed and never leave it. But you felt stale after spending so much time traveling, and you didn’t want to collapse into those beautiful sheets until you’d scrubbed the day off you. 
Shuffling off to the bathroom, you finally remembered to take your phone off ‘airplane mode.’ All at once, the floodgates opened. The onslaught of texts, emails, and voicemails was so overwhelming that your phone froze.
When the flurry stopped, you scanned through your various inboxes for anything that might require an immediate response. Finding nothing urgent, you were about to set your phone down when you saw an email from Namjoon, addressing both you and Yoongi.
His verse, you realized as you opened it. 
I think I lost you sooner than I wanted to  And I know you can't say the same  But I can't hate you for doing what you've gotta do  Cause I'm just in bed sleeping through the pain  Do you see wasted potential when you look at me?  Of what we could be if it wasn't like this  I know you asked me not to try and change myself  But when I was with you, I felt fixed 
It took everything you had not to drop to your knees.
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Namjoon was an incredible liar.
He didn’t utilize the skill often – in fact, he was usually too honest – but when he did, he could get himself out of any unwanted scenario.
In the distant past, he’d slip out of obligations made by his label to stay home in bed with you. It worked every single time. Instead of putting on some over-priced suit, wasting his breath swapping empty pleasantries with industry tools; he’d be hooking his arms around your quivering thighs, pinning you to his face as he fucked you with his tongue. 
In the present, he lied again. 
Yoongi asked, “How did it feel to hear from her again?” 
“To be honest,” Namjoon started, knowing full well that nothing he said next would be, “That shit’s behind me, man. I was surprised her number was still in my contacts, you know? She’s been a non-factor for a minute.” 
Yoongi rolled his eyes, “With the number of girls you’ve gone through in the meantime, I imagine it gets hard to keep track.” 
Hook, line, sinker. 
Namjoon offered a smirk and a shrug in response, which Yoongi accepted without further comment. The relief of being believed did nothing to cure the nausea swirling in Namjoon’s stomach, though - not just for the cruelty of his lie, but for the way he’d acted since you left and stayed gone.  
He learned early on that it would take more than fucking someone he didn't know to keep warm, but knowing better didn’t mean he did better. None of them – and there were many – could pull him from the limbo he found himself in without you. There was an emptiness gnawing at his insides that he couldn’t fill, and the more he tried, the more it tore at him.
The only thing he succeeded at was becoming someone he didn’t recognize –someone he didn’t even like. 
Yoongi pulled into his parking garage and turned to Namjoon, staking him through the heart with words alone. “Well, the non-factor is upstairs, so try to remember her name when you see her.” 
Namjoon chuckled, but it didn’t sound anywhere close to convincing. There was a flicker of doubt in Yoongi’s quickly flexed eyebrow, though he kept any questions he may have had to himself. Without a word, they clambered out of the car, and they stayed quiet until they stepped into the elevator. 
“How has she been?” Namjoon asked more quietly than he meant to. Like someone who’s scared of the answer - or worse, being asked why he’s asking. Quickly diverting further inquiry, he provided clarification Yoongi hadn’t sought. “Sounded tired as fuck on the phone.” 
Yoongi glanced at Namjoon before selecting the button marked with his floor number. “You know how she is,” He hummed. 
That one hurt. He knew how you were – past tense.
Except for that one phone call, he hadn’t heard your voice in months. He hadn’t seen you for even longer than that. Your number hadn’t changed, but for all he knew, everything else could have. All he had now was his memory’s pale imitation of you, always in sight but never within reach.
A ghost that disappeared into the walls before he could get too close. 
When the elevator door opened, Namjoon was fighting between running forward and running away. Incapable of doing either, it was Yoongi’s light punch on his bicep that prompted his feet to move. Namjoon trudged along after him until Yoongi stopped short with a groan. 
“The fuck?” Namjoon coughed as he collided with Yoongi’s back. “Don’t tell me you’re already winded, dude. I’m not giving your old ass a piggy-back ride.” 
The scowl he received could’ve scorched the Earth.  
“I forgot my fucking phone in the car.” Yoongi tossed his apartment key at Namjoon. It thudded against his unsuspecting chest only to be caught on the rebound.
Then, Yoongi pointed at the door. “Go play nice and figure out where we’re getting take-out from. I had a dream about bulgogi last night that was borderline sexual, so keep that in mind.” 
Namjoon’s face scrunched up. “I’ll be trying my best to keep it out, so thanks for that.”  
Yoongi had already turned around, waving a dismissive hand as he stalked off. 
As soon as Namjoon heard the elevator doors close, his phone chirped in his pocket and caught him off guard. He glanced down to find a text from Yoongi – who was, apparently, also a liar. 
Yoongi [18:19 PM]: fyi you always say “to be honest” when you’re about to say some bullshit Yoongi [18:19 PM]: "non-factor" my asssssss
Namjoon grimaced and shoved his phone back into his pocket before walking to Yoongi’s door with his heart in his throat.
Clearly, Yoongi wanted Najmoon to fix things with you. He’d crafted some false narrative to get himself out of there, to give Namjoon the time and space to do it. But there wasn’t a single fucking thing he could say to rebuild the bridge you’d both demolished together.
That is, if you even wanted him to try.
After unlocking the door, he froze. A full minute passed before his hand received his brain’s signal to turn the knob, and even then, his feet felt as if they were encased in concrete. If hearing your voice made him spiral, he was terrified of what the sight of you might do.
More than anything, he was scared to see how you looked at him – and he didn’t know what reaction he wanted. If you lit up the way you used to, it might kill him. If you had no reaction at all, it would definitely kill him. 
He would’ve stalled at that threshold all night if you didn’t appear in the hallway, straight ahead. You froze like a deer in headlights, one hand still on the door you’d exited from. Eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly in surprise.
He didn’t notice the red rims around your eyes right away, but once he did, every cell in his body screamed at him to run to you, to hold you.
But he didn’t.
Touching you now only to lose you again tomorrow - well, that was a scab he couldn’t rip off again. There was only scar tissue where his heart used to be.
“Hey,” You smiled so sweetly when you saw him, but it didn’t reach your eyes. Those fucking eyes! He’d give up everything he had to erase the sadness swimming behind them, threatening to spill out. 
Why were you still so far away?
You glanced around him, noting Yoongi’s absence, but didn’t ask where he was. “I was thinking we could get something from that –” 
The longer he stared at you, the more impossible it became to keep his distance. He couldn’t stand on that doorstep with you over there, trying so hard to look like you hadn’t been crying – like you weren’t about to start again. 
Fuck it.
If he was so dead-set on re-breaking his own heart, he’d do it with you in his arms.
“Joonie, is everything oka–” 
No, nothing was. Nothing had been, not for – fuck, are his eyes getting misty? - a long time. Not since you walked out of his apartment for the last time, and he let you. He couldn’t make any of it okay, but with you there now, he didn’t give a fuck about where you were before. 
Your eyes were as big as the moon when he finally reached you, blinking your surprise up at him.
Did you really think he had any other option than to hold you? Did you have any idea how you looking at him like this - bare-faced, freshly-showered, vulnerable - demanded his immediate affection?
It felt like coming home, sliding his fingers through your still-damp hair. He could’ve fallen to pieces when the familiar scent of your shampoo – vanilla and honey – crashed over him, but he didn’t. His lips collided with yours, and for the first time in a fucking year, he felt whole.
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You clung to him so desperately, you could’ve ripped a hole in his shirt. You couldn't care about that, though, because he kissed you and it was pure starlight. He kissed you hard, nicking your lip between his teeth until you opened your mouth against his.
You whimpered into him, drunk on the wet heat of his mouth, melting and falling and spinning and flying. You felt it all fall to the wayside, every second wasted without him, every text you didn’t send, every wrong turn that led you so far away. 
You didn't realize until you finally broke apart that the tears on your cheek weren’t exclusively yours. His gaze locked with yours, and all either of you could do was gasp for air - chests heaving, lips kissed swollen. If not for the arm around your back, pinning you against his chest, you would’ve floated away. But he had you, completely.  
Finally, you felt tethered. 
Your trembling hand settled on the side of his face. Fuck! That face. The warmth of his skin, the heights of his cheek bones, the gentle slope of his nose.
How many mornings did you wake up and miss it? How did you ever fall asleep without it nuzzled into the crook of your neck, without the whisper of warm breath on your skin?
You wanted to scream until the hurt left your chest, but you didn’t dare – not with that face so perfectly close to yours.  
He spoke first, “I’m so –” 
Your eyes followed your thumb as it swiped over his bottom lip, unearthing a quiver that burned you up inside. He was paralyzed by your touch. Enraptured. Leaving that clause hanging open in the air.
His eyes were wide with anticipation as he watched you, pupils dilating when you whispered. “Say less.” 
Faster than you could process, he lifted you off the ground as if you weighed nothing at all. Automatically, your legs locked behind his back; your lips re-captured his and his kiss never faltered as he carried you back into the guest room. Quickly and with a shocking display of control, he kicked the door closed without slamming it – or breaking it. 
Like so many times before, he laid you gently onto the mattress as if you were crafted from porcelain. And when he finally pulled away from you, you gazed up at him in awe.
This was one of the million reasons you couldn’t seem to let him go – the way his eyes softened when you were breathless underneath him, like you were the only thing in the universe worth looking at.
There were too many things to be said that neither of you could verbalize. You felt them all falling down around you like confetti, loose ends to be tied up later. He didn’t need to say a thing, so long as he kept looking at you like that. 
When his fingers landed at the hem of your shirt, you knew what came next. A dance you’d done a thousand times, you lifted your arms for him to pull it up and off. Still damp from your shower, the ends of your hair raised goosebumps as they chilled the bare skin of your back.  
He moved slowly and without breaking eye contact as he unbuttoned your jeans. Your zipper followed, then your jeans and underwear in tandem. The denim dragged so deliciously against your thighs as he slipped them down, down, down. As he tugged them off your ankles, you discarded your bra and tossed it aside. You were entirely bare and shivering with anticipation when his gaze found you again.
His shirt soon joined yours on the floor. Kneeling between your legs, his bare chest burned against your own as he kissed you for the third time. So many more were needed to make up for lost time, but you could feel how much of himself he poured into the kisses he’d credited you with so far. The taste of his mouth on yours was indescribably intoxicating after so much time apart. 
With you sufficiently distracted, the hands that cupped your face began to migrate. You felt so small under his touch, reduced to putty in the warm expanse of his palms. His face lowered too, freeing your mouth to moan as he placed open-mouthed kisses down the length of your neck.
Involuntarily, you gasped when his fingers pinched at one of your nipples. The curve of his smile impressed upon your throat as he suckled at the sensitive skin he found there, leaving clouds of indigo behind. 
As he marked you, he rolled and tweaked your nipples in turn. Your eyes fluttered shut and you keened while your head crashed back against the pillows, “That mouth – feels s-so fucking good.” Your fingers carded through his hair, fingernails scratching lightly against his scalp; his silence broke with a shuddered moan. 
“S’all I want, baby,” He hummed as his lips trailed down from your neck and beyond your collarbone. “To make you feel good.”  
You were trembling when he claimed one of your nipples with his mouth. Then he had the audacity to look up at you from under his lashes when he released it with a lewd pop, causing your back to arch against his chest with a gasp. There was a rumble from deep within him when your grip on his hair tightened, and the sound alone made you gush. 
“To taste you,” His tongue left a wet stripe above your navel as he continued his descent, large hands dipping beneath you to squeeze the doughy flesh of your ass. Shit - you would simply never recover from this. “To devour you until you melt in my mouth.” 
Another sharp tug at his hair, another guttural moan breaking free from your chest.
How often had you dreamed of this in your time apart? How many times did you try to remember how it felt when that timbre whispered sins against your naked body? Fuck. With those words alone, he had you on the brink. 
You whined when he pulled away from you; but it quickly turned into a gasp when he hooked his arms around your thighs and dragged you with him towards the end of the bed. Now kneeling on the floor, he ducked below your knees until they rested over the tops of his shoulders. 
Face so near to your aching core, he growled, and you felt it. “I missed this pussy –” He placed a wet kiss on your inner thigh, prompting you to clench them reflexively. “I missed the way your thighs squeeze around me while you fuck yourself against my tongue.” 
Shivering, slack-jawed, and stupid, you grabbed fistfuls of the comforter below you. He was so painfully close to your cunt and still so fucking far from you. You knew he could see how badly you craved him - you’d beg for his mouth if you had to. 
Of course, you didn’t have to - you never did.
Seconds before your impatience could drive you fully insane, he was on you, tongue flat against your cunt, dragging up against your slit. When the tip of his tongue flicked over your clit, you cried out with a buck of your hips. His grip on you tightened, pinning you flush against him as he teased you. 
“That it’s, baby. Good girl.” 
It’s a miracle either one of you could form words with how relentlessly he licked, nipped, and suckled on your throbbing cunt. All you could do was babble in response to his praise – until the tip of his tongue penetrated your weeping hole, and you screamed. 
A flurry of curse words spilled from your lips; his name sprinkled in between the obscenities. Fuck, you needed more. More, more, more. You extended your arm and reclaimed your grasp on his locks. Once you did, you began to grind yourself against his tongue until your abdominal muscles burned - you hadn’t utilized them to this extent since the last time.
His hand squeezed your thigh, goading you, encouraging you to use him the way you needed to. The pressure of his tongue increased with your pace. You had no control over the sounds you made; the breathless moans escaped you before you could think of trapping them. The coil was tightening, burning red-hot in the pit of your belly. 
So good, so good, so g – 
“Fuck!” 
One by one, your muscles tensed in quick succession until your body shook violently in his grip. Toes curling, back arching, head crashing backwards into the pillows, mewling. 
When you finally gathered the strength to re-open your bleary eyes, there were spots dotting the edges of your vision – and then there was Namjoon, fuck-drunk between your weakened knees, with a mixture of his saliva and your orgasm shining on his chin. 
Lustful eyes locked squarely on your flushed face; his tongue slid from between his swollen lips to attend to the mess you’d made of him. His panting rivaled yours, but unlike you, he was still capable of speech.
“I will never – ever – get tired of watching you come,” he sighed before wiping his mouth against the back of his hand, “You’re so fucking beautiful like this.” 
As he climbed back on top of you, he placed a chaste kiss on your sweaty forehead. “So vulnerable –” Then the tip of your nose. “So vocal –” Then, too briefly, your lips. “Perfect.” 
“Joon,” You murmured against his lips. His mouth curved into a smile at the nickname, which you used almost exclusively to win arguments, or to persuade him to do something. It worked every time. 
He nudged your nose with the tip of his as he tried to conceal his laugh. “Baby?” 
The fond look in his eyes was quickly covered by fluttering eyelids as your fingertips whispered down over his chest. They snapped open and bored into you as your fingers slid over the waistband of his joggers, tracing a feather-light trail over the bulge below. You felt his cock twitch autonomously against the warmth of your palm. 
“Shit,” He hissed through gritted teeth as you squeezed him. Eyes drifting shut once again; he rolled his hips to exacerbate the friction. His neck tensed, head thrown back, when you finally dipped under the elastic and took him into your hand. Skin to skin, burning up.
The next moan from his fawning mouth was something you hadn’t heard in his voice for months – your name. “I need you. Now.” 
In the few moments he pulled away to remove his pants, a chill crept in and settled where the weight of his body had just been.
There it is again, you thought, the feeling of having him and losing him.
When this night was over and he was gone from you, would he stay that way? Should you have gone this far, knowing nothing would be different in the daylight? 
You were blinking fast when he reclaimed the space above you. Something flickered in his eye as he assessed the look on your face, but he didn’t ask. Instead, he leaned down and kissed you so gently that you could’ve imagined it – but so completely that your brain could never have fabricated it. Not successfully, anyway.
You’d already tried. 
Breaking apart once more, he reached down and stroked himself slowly. His eyes never left yours. You both held your breath as he slid into you, millimeter by millimeter, reminding your body – after all this time – how to take him. All of him, to the hilt, until you could finally exhale.
Stretched to accommodate his width, so fucking full, you saw a way out of the nothing that had you trapped like quicksand. It was him, always. Your safe haven.
Neither of you could speak once he began rolling his hips against you. The quiet was electrified by heavy breaths and whimpers. The wet heat of your cunt squelched as your walls enveloped him, just as unwilling to let him go as the rest of you.
Over and over, he grinded into you, dragging his length across your most sensitive places; hips swiveling slightly to the side as he pushed and pulled himself through you, the way he knew you liked it. 
Open mouth beside his ear, you keened and sighed, wordlessly informing him that you wouldn’t last much longer. He was perfectly attuned to your subconscious movements, and he responded to each of them without hesitation.
He’d never need to be reminded that the fingernails digging into his biceps meant faster, and the upward tilt of your jaw meant deeper. That when your eyebrows rose above your closed lids, you were seconds away from your release. 
He remembered exactly how to fuck you through your orgasm when it came – shallow, staccato thrusts that unraveled you further as you writhed against the sheets. The spot on your neck to nip at like some secret switch, praise dripping hot in your ear like honey.
“Such a good girl, squeezing me like this,” He panted, “Taking me so well – so fucking perfect for me, angel.” 
As soon as you crashed down through the atmosphere, his movements threatened to ricochet you right back into space. You keened helplessly with your half-numbed fingers gripping any part of him where they could find purchase.
“I c-can't stop -” You mewled, “How am I s-still c-coming?” 
His response didn’t come in the form of words. His lips collided with yours hard enough to clink teeth as he drove himself deeper and deeper and deeper. Sloppy, kiss-bitten lips laying claim; relentless in their mutual need for closeness. Your walls were still fluttering around him – was this your second orgasm or your third? - when he moaned into your mouth.
Every part of him tensed above, around, and inside you as the flood of his release filled every crevice of your cunt. 
Breathing ragged, his head fell into the crook of your shoulder. Considerate as ever, he tried so hard to keep his full weight off you, but his exhaustion undermined his efforts. You didn’t mind at all – you’d re-build your home there, staying forever between his body and that borrowed bed if you could. 
But you couldn’t, could you? If you felt empty before, how could you feel whole again after this? His name etched itself into your ribcage, and now your body would never re-acclimate to his absence.
Why did you do this to yourself? 
You squeezed your eyes shut tight when you felt tears prickling in their corners.  
Everything you felt for him – over the course of two years – came crashing down over you. You buried your face into his shoulder and tried your best to keep your crying to yourself.
You’d never get his scent off your body now. 
He could sense your shaking; it forced his heavy lids open. 
“I don’t know what to do with it,” you sniffled, silently begging yourself to stop. You felt yourself shrinking under his eye. It would only be a matter of time before you disappeared entirely.
His tone dripped with concern, serving only to deepen that infernal ache in the pit of your stomach. “With what?”  
“All the love I have for you. I don’t –” You sobbed, “I don’t know where to put it now.” 
His breath caught in his throat as if you’d punched him straight in the chest. If you listened hard enough, you might’ve heard his heart break. You could certainly feel it in the way he tensed in your arms.
When he moved off you, you feared the worst – that your incessant crying overflowed the bathtub, and your admission was the toaster thrown recklessly inside. But unlike the last time, he didn’t leave - and neither did you.
The mattress shifted as he claimed the space at your side - where he should have been all this time. Strong arms enveloped you as he turned to face you, and even though he held you, he couldn’t stop you from shattering.
For a while, he let you. Squeezed you hard, stroked your hair the way he used to, let you cry out all the poison that filled the spaces in the cavern of your chest.
And when you could finally breathe again, he kissed your forehead. “I’ll trade you for it.” 
(1/8/23): Check out the sequel, Redamancy, here.
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thatstonedwriter · 6 months
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⋆。˚ 「More than Enough」⋆。˚
◉ Sinopsis; comforting their s/o, who struggles with their self-worth
◉ feat; M&M, Fizzarolli, Striker
◉ A/n- kinda been in my feelings for a few days, but it's alright. Also haven't written for Striker in a hot minute so I'm deciding to give it a try
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___˙•˚∘✮🌙ᯓ🪐˙•˚∘___
Moxxie and Millie also struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, so when you're feeling down, they have a good idea of what might be able to cheer you up.
Moxxie, ever the thespian, writes you a ton- and I mean a ton- of little notes, poems, and even songs- all declaring his unconditional, undying love for you and Millie. It's not generic love songs either- what Moxxie writes are the most heartfelt, sincere declarations of love you'll ever hear
Dude will also follow you around all day like a sidekick- actually. This guy takes the Hype Man position very seriously. Whenever you're talking, he stands to your side, hip jutted out and arms crossed. He's so sassy for no reason
Millie actually takes a more lowkey approach- don't get me wrong, she and Moxxie absolutely smother you with love- but Millie's lowkey nature helps balance out Moxxie's grand gestures.
Millie is pretty observant, so she's able to pick up on your subtle mood changes and habits fast. Wrapping your arms around your stomach? Millie beats you to it and has her arm around your waist. nervous fidgeting? Millie holds your hand, and gives you a reassuring smile.
Of course, they each have their own off days- sometimes y'all take a collective self-care day which is just code for you sitting on the couch, ordering food delivery and watching dumb shows; no matter the circumstance, Moxxie and Millie will always love and support you unconditionally.
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺  °
Fizzarolli knows exactly how it feels to think you're not living up to everyone's (or even your own) expectations. While Fizz knows there's no such thing as completely "getting rid of" these feelings, he will always do everything he can to reassure you.
Distractions are Fizz's specialty, so if you're feeling down, expect lots of jokes and random stories- its just his way of helping you get out of a negative mindset, even temporarily
Fizz is also the kind of partner to perform impromptu stand-up comedy acts when you're feeling down. Sit your ass on the couch with some snacks, because for the next thirty minutes, you're gonna watch Fizz attempt comedy while using a wooden spoon as a microphone.
It's funny to think Fizz knows a little bit of a bunch of different languages; wanna know what that results in? Him attempting to flirt with you in Italian or French but really just saying a bunch of random bullshit. It's the thought that counts, right?
Don't let the robotic limbs fool you- Fizz is very touchy-feely (unless you're uncomfortable with it). If you happen to be insecure about your physical apperance, Fizz is there to assure you, there's nothing to be insecure about. You're literally the most amazing being in his eyes
Fizzarolli knows how hard it can be to wrestle with your inner-critic, and that it takes a long time to unlearn the instinct of being self-critical. That's why he takes every moment he can to tell you everything you have to be proud of.
┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺  °
Striker isn't one for self-doubt or insecurity. There's not much room for it in his life, so it's harder for him to empathize with what you're going through.
when Striker does take the time to understand what you're going through, he's still confused. He's more pragmatic, so when you list your insecurities, all he can think is how wrong you are
It's a bit harsh, but hey, so is he. Though, he does understand there's a lot about relationships he has yet to learn- like how to be a bit more sensitive when dealing with feelings of self-worth
at first, Striker's solution is to tell you "prove yourself wrong," but when he sees it's not the most.. effective solution, he opts to just listening, and doing his best to be a pillar of support.
Rather than rushing to fix things or immediately tell you you're wrong, Striker sits and will listen to you for hours. He won't offer unwarranted advice or try to invalidate your feelings- he just listens.
And at the end of the day, Striker knows what there is to love about you. He may not express it as openly, but Striker cares about you, and hates seeing you beat yourself up. He hopes one day, you can see yourself the way he does- perfect as you are.
___‎˙•˚∘✮ 🔭๋࣭ᯓ🌙˙•˚∘___
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upheavalofmemory · 1 year
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PAC | Your Love Story in Song
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Someone who received a reading from me once said that I tend to write scenarios as if I'm writing a whole fanfic. While I'm not a fanfic writer, I do love writing so... This pick-a-card is about your future love story based on songs!
This can apply to your future spouse, for your future partner, etc, although it is intended to be the most impactful relationship you have. I will be using shufflemancy and intuition, plus there is a bonus moodboard/image section!
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♢ There are three piles to choose from, all are CDs with writing on them/quotes. Pile one is "Songs to listen to when you're in love", pile two is "You're the only thing in life that I got right", and pile three is "Everything I could never tell you." ♢
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Pile One ♢ "Songs to listen to when you're in love"
Walking on a Dream by Empire of the Sun
C'mon - Single Version by Panic! At The Disco & fun.
Capsize by FRENSHIP & Emily Warren
A heaviness. Two people who refuse to believe that they're in love, but rather continue to wallow in their own problems until they realize that there was someone there all along. Youth. They both take baby steps until they realize that someone has been there alongside them the whole time and together they bring themselves up. Unfortunately, the highs are high and the lows are low, and sometimes it leads to explosive fights, crying, and the neverending cycle of breakups.
It's blue. It's in the dark, two lovers holding hands as you both sob over the destruction you have caused together. You both think to yourselves "Maybe this is why we are meant to be?" A combination of hail and rain, the worst thunderstorms, and the brightest sunny days after them, but mostly because you know that others would not be able to handle your violence (not literal).
On the worst days, you almost melt into each other. On the best days, you blend and ebb with each other's flows. There is no fear in either of your depths. They can get terrifying, yes, and from an outside perspective it can be seen as a toxic, violent cycle, but it is far from the truth. It's bittersweet, it's growth, it's pulling out hair like pulling weeds and sharpening knives to cut out rotten flesh. It's painful, yes, but it's the most invigorating ride you both have ever been on, and it's the most growth you've ever had. You trigger each other in the best and worst way possible.
It's pain and ascension. Growing your wings, pulling out the flightless feathers. Scratching away dead scales, shedding and spitting up venom. Like an animal learning how to breathe again. Poetic misery.
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Pile Two ♢ You're the only thing in life that I got right."
Nineteen by Dylan
Joan of Arc by Arcade Fire
Stop Making This Hurt by Bleachers
Good morning kisses and back hugs. Shared memories and shared coffee mugs, cuddles, and long movie marathons, but something is changing.
The love you shared is changing. Neither of you has gotten this far, you have no idea how to react. The passionate morning kisses become awkward side steps, the cuddles become awkward and suddenly you hate the color of the walls. You still love them, yes of course, but it's changing it's hue. Your chameleon lover is changing its colors and you haven't adjusted to the change in saturation. The giddiness goes away and becomes...comfortable. You fear that the passion is gone, you've never felt this way before. You're afraid they'll leave you.
You both lay on the duvet, staring above at the ceiling fan. Suddenly, you're both older. "How did we get here? Where has the time gone?" You both look at each other with a somewhat sad, but tender smile. The love hasn't gone away, it's just changed forms, and you're finally adjusted to the slower love you always deserved. You kiss, it's awkward and cheeky, but it brings a warmness to your body you've never felt before, a warmness you want to keep forever, and so you both do.
BONUS: While looking for images, Boreas by the Oh Hellos was playing in my head, it definitely matches the warm energy of this pile.
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Pile Three ♢ "Everything I could never tell you"
East of Eden by Zella Day
Oh No! by MARINA
Mine Forever by Lord Huron
It was a hook-up, it was a fling. You never pictured that you'd actually love your goofy lover. You couldn't imagine them being serious about anyone until one night you looked into their eyes and realized it wasn't lust. Out of fear, you left, and you were terrified.
This wasn't the type of person you would bring home to your family, but rather show off to your friends and your Instagram stories, but now things are changing. They aren't the person you expected to be, and you're slowly falling in love with their dopey smile and messy hair. "Nothing can get better than this," they say with a smile, and fall asleep in your arms. You feel the same way and it scares you.
You run from it, you ghost them and break their heart just for a moment until you look at yourself in the mirror and see the person you've never wanted to become. You take off your mask and realize you're just a scared child who never knew you were worthy of love or desired love. You put in the work, you change your face, and break your old mask.
You show up to their house to apologize and try to start fresh again, and whether or not they accept your apology is up to them, but you'll never forget them regardless.
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Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to check out my masterpost with more readings, or you can support me by purchasing a reading by clicking here. Thanks for the support, let me know which pile you picked and if it resonated or not :)!
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fl3shm4id3n · 4 months
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Bₑᵢₙg ₐ ₛᵢₙgₑᵣ/ᵣₐₚₚₑᵣ ₐₙd ᵢₙ ₐ ᵣₑₗₐₜᵢₒₙₛₕᵢₚ wᵢₜₕ: ⱼₒₕₙₙy Cₐgₑ
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ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ᴊᴏʜɴɴʏ ᴄᴀɢᴇ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ꜱɪɴɢᴇʀ/ʀᴀᴘᴘᴇʀ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ
Tw: Age gap (Johnny is 58 and reader is 28), mentions of fans/people being weird.
A/N: Reader is heavily inspired by Doja Cat, I may write more stuff about this. I'll read any feedback of any kind.
Masterlist
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When the public found out that you and thee Johnny Cage were in a relationship, a lot of people lost it. Some assumed that the only reason he was in a relationship with you was because so that he could still be famous or whatever other things they say. All you both did was just ignore those people comments.
That wasn't the first time some of your so called 'fans' tried bashing you for the decisions that you make. Same with Johnny. He isn't with you because of your fame and money, you and him actually had chemistry.
You and him were made for one another believe it or not. You both were like soulmates, literally. They were times where you and Johnny shared a braincell.
The thing about Johnny, as much as self absorbed that he is. He actually a very caring and sweet person to be around. He also is very good at making people laugh and get them to be flattered. That's what made you fall for him. He is a himbo in a way, but he is your himbo.
He is very supportive of you. He knows how much potential you got and you should show share it with the world.
Johnny likes to listen to your music, he's the type to listen to all kinds of music. At times you may hear him humming to your music and even singing under his breath while he's doing something.
He may not know very much about music, but he'll help in any way you need help in. For example, if you're having a difficult time trying to come up with lyrics or a beat for your song, he'll try and help. He loves to help you in all ways possible.
If that doesn't work with your writers block, you'll stop what you're doing and do something with Johnny. Whether is watching a movie, cooking together, simply just lay together in bed, or whatever you can think of.
A thing that he likes about you, is how you call out your some of your 'fans' on their weird and toxic behavior. He's had his fair share of his strange over the top fans. But he's never really had the guts to tell them off. He liked that you did, that gave him some sort of courage for him to do so as well.
You and Johnny have blast reading comments and watching videos in how you have become 'satanic'. It was funny because it all started when you began to work on other projects, that aren't what you normally do. This stuff isn't new though, every time a music artist does something new and is successful at it, then they've become a 'Satanist'. That's old news, probably as old as Johnny.
He's goes to your concerts and even on tour with you. He becomes your personal assistant in a way, because he knows you like the back of his hand. He doesn't mind it at all, he enjoys being your personal assistant. (He takes your kisses as payment.)
He also makes it his mission to record all most everything about the concert, mainly you since you're the star of the show. His star.
Johnny buys your merch. He doesn't have a shame in wearing it. He'll wear it 24/7. Whether is a shirt, hoodie, sweater, socks. He wears it.
Most of his social media, is of pictures of you and him, sometimes mainly just you. He also posts in his Instagram story your posts about your new album or shows. He loves to show you off to everyone. (He's probably do that one Will Smith meme when he is with you in public. Specially when it comes to events.)
Johnny is a dog person, but if you have pet cats. He'd end up spoiling the hell out of your cats. He'd also refer to them as yours and his kids.
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dangerouslyknown · 3 months
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Hiromi Higuruma Headcanons 🌻
A/N: Ughhh I have been having literally 0 motivation for writing, kind of like an art block. I wanna write so much but something just prevents me lmao... But this man, I swear. He just sparked my will to write and hopefully also work off the requests and one trade with a friend I have been working on. Also I just haaaad to get these out of my head
Contents/warnings: Random general headcanons, relationship headcanons & NSFW headcanons. I am just writing about "his S/O" and referring to S/O with they/them. Doesn't contain spoilers from JJK story, just Higuruma and his existence
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General headcanons
He listens to Modern Talking. Don't ask where this comes from, I just feel like he'd like their music. Also somehow I was thinking he'd like Bon Jovi, too? He isn't like a crazy fan for either of them, just likes various of their songs. Could see him listening instrumental music as well, like game/movie soundtracks
Surprisingly enough he isn't a huge drinker. He enjoys an alcoholic drink every now and then to refresh, but he knows his limits. He knows when it feels good and when it goes overboard
He doesn't have visible muscles for the most part, I'd like to think him having a bit of body fat which hides them. My man is an attorney, he hasn't been focusing in training or being physically fit all that much. He does like to keep himself in decent shape though, because healthy body equals a healthy mind
He's not tall per se, more like average height, definitely under 180 centimeters
He's a minimalist. He doesn't have anything "extra" in his apartment, just the necessities
Speaking off, his wardrobe probably isn't huge either. Maybe a basic suit or two, so he can wash the other and still have the other one wearable. Otherwise his wardrobe is filled with mostly casual comfortable clothes. He values practical clothes, too
If he ends up having time to play games, he'd definitely mostly be into single player, story focused games. Not into fps games. One of his favorites are, funny enough, Ace Attorney games (he also likes the soundtrack)
SFW relationship headcanons
He doesn't strike me as a person who would be into dating all that much, but if he finds so called a right person, he might consider it. He doesn't really sleep around with lots of people either
He values the personality of a person more than looks. Forming an emotional and a mental bond is what matters him the most when it comes to a relationship
He doesn't even have a type, really. He thinks he is capable of finding anyone attractive if their personality hits him
And while we are at it, I bet he would love to have conversations with his S/O about anything. He'd love to discuss anything, silly to serious to deep thoughts with the right person. He wants to hear his S/Os thoughts and share his own
He'd also love to have playful, sarcasm filled banters/debates with his S/O
Either quality time or physical touch are his love languages
Quality time, because he is often doing long days and working a lot so he might not be around as much as he'd like. But when he finally is around his S/O, no matter what they do, he is going to be very happy. He likes to do the most basic, mundane things together with his S/O. Having breakfast, watching TV, showering together, cooking together, sitting together in the same room...
And what comes to physical touch, he just loves to get touchy with his S/O and most of the time not even in a sexual way. It is like a way to make up for all the time he hasn't been around. All the little touches and kisses he exchanges with his S/O makes him feel so loved
Oh, and one thing he'd absolutely love is to get a massage from his S/O. He would literally melt to their touch
(NSFW under the cut)
NSFW relationship headcanons
I think he is pretty vanilla... But he is very open to try new things and kinks for his S/O and for his own curiosity. He'd also be pretty gentle overall, but he loves his sex passionate, with an intimate, personal feel to it
He is a heavy switch when it comes to dynamics. He can top, he can bottom. But I have a feeling he'd have a tiny little submissive side in the sheets. He isn't opposed to being dominative either, but like I said, he is mostly vanilla so these kind of dynamics aren't exactly what he desires in the sheets
He prefers to do all the sexy stuff mostly in somewhere private, only him and his S/O... but he can't deny that he has thought of taking them in his office. Something about the though of him fucking them on his desk turns him on
He would definitely love having sex with clothes (mostly) on. First of all, he can be a bit tired after long days (and lazy, too) but, like, just having his dick out of his fly... or both of his and his S/Os pants just slightly lowered. It's all just so hot for him
Oh, and he'd love to fuck his S/O anywhere (privately). On the floor, on the sofa, against a wall. He isn't picky, he just wants to feel good
I still feel like bed is his to-go, because he is often tired to do anything extreme and it's just overall more comfortable to get down to business in the sheets
Previously mentioned that his love language is physical touch which applies to this aspect too. Sex is also a part of that for him. Sex is also a way for him to feel deeply connected with his S/O, physically and emotionally
Sex with his S/O is his favorite stress relieving method
I'll say it: I never thought he'd have a big cock. Recently, I came across Kyo-00´s Headcanons of the dicks of JJK men, and I agree on her take of Higuruma. I had previously thought he'd be more like average sized or so
He doesn't need to have a huge cock though, because he knows how to use what he has. He also has his mouth, his nose and his hands to make one pleased
This could probably go without saying, but he loves when his S/O shows him that he is desired and cared for. He would get so excited if his S/O initiated intimacy and slid their hand to his pants to play with his still limp dick, stroking it while giving his neck and face soft kisses all over... (Consensually, of course. He isn't always in the mood for that stuff either) Anyhow, that just sends a message to him which turns him on. Who would even want to have sex with someone who doesn't seem into it?
I believe he wouldn't want kids, so he 100% would get a vasectomy especially if his S/O is a afab/female so there isn't a need to worry about pregnancy
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flwersgarden · 2 years
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♡ lovestruck. °₊
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pairings : elvis presley x female reader.
summary : elvis turns into a brat whenever you're not with him.
includes : fluff, (mainly) elvis being clingy (and childish), some swearing words.
author's note : this is a little present for my 170 followers! i still can't believe i have that many people who enjoy what i write and it just makes me so happy!!! i had a bunch of requests for something with the real elvis so this is for all of those lovely anons<3
buy me a kofi!
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if someone would've told you that the moment elvis presley and you started dating he would make tantrums whenever you leave his side and deny anyone else's help but yours; you would've punched them in the face for playing with your feelings.
but now you would just hug them and nod while sighing. because that's exactly what he does.
elvis considers himself as a hopeless romantic, he believes in love at first sight and in the fairytale kind of love story. it didn't help that you were almost the same.
you and elvis met when he delivered some packages to your family business, he invited you a cold coke in your lunch break and the both of you just felt a spark. the rest is history (literally).
elvis got famous and you married him a few months later, just after he arrived to germany, now being at his side whenever he needed or wanted.
and you love him with all the love you could possibly have for someone as special as he is for you — you felt like you were going to burst out crying everytime you see his beautiful face.
you thought for a long time that you were the sensible and clingy one in the relationship as you always grabbed his hand in press conferences that you were invited to, gave him a kiss before every show to keep his stage fright at bay, pampering him after every show and telling him he deserves to be taken care of at least once, caressing his hair whenever he fell asleep on your lap, cuddling him while sleeping together at hotels or in your room at Graceland, tying his tie in those rare occasions he wore suits, kissing him on the cheek before he goes to meet some fans outside your home, etcetera.
it was just your routine.
you remember telling elvis about psychical touch being your love language at the first stages of the relationship.
“ but, and i mean this, if you ever feel overwhelmed for everything, just tell me and i'll stop. ”
“ i will, mama. ”
but he never told you anything. because he loved it. even more than he liked to admit. and he confirmed it the week you went away for a family trip.
you told elvis you were going to visit your sibling as they just had a baby a few days before you had to go and he took it very well, just nodding and smiling while you told him, feeling very calm.
he was also calm when you were packing your stuff while listening to him complaining about some childish fight he and some member of the memphis mafia got in, just to fill the silence.
he was also calm while kissing you goodbye, wishing you the best, telling you to be careful and ordering you to call him at least every two days to know you were good. after agreeing at everything you kissed him again, fixing his hair before driving away. he just waved you goodbye while ignoring that weird feeling he felt.
and he was also calm the next day, eating breakfast and dinner with his dad before practicing some songs in his piano and even calling some friends of his to hang out with.
but he stopped being calm the day after that.
he woke up with the sun hitting his eyes making him gruff and turn around, watching the clock in the nightstand, widening his eyes at the hour.
“ god-dammit! ” he said with his deep morning voice, almost tripping while getting out of bed, running to the phone and immediately calling jerry, who usually told him almost everything.
“ jerry here. ” his friend's typically calm voice answered.
“ jerry, man! ”
“ ep, what the fuck, where are you? ” it sounded like jerry was walking out of a room, 'whispering' to the phone, now his voice sounded concerned.
“ i fell asleep, damn it. ” elvis just ran his hand by his hair, the way you use to do when he felt stressed. “ what are y'all doing? ”
“ well, all the musicians are waiting for you while practicing and everyone else are just cracking jokes, the colonel almost sent the whole police force there to see what made you so late. ”
elvis just sighed.
“ okay, tell 'em i'm really sorry and that i'll be there in ten. ”
“ you good? something happened? are you sick? ”
“ nah, nah, i just... i'll tell ya later. ”
“ sure. see you then. ”
“ see ya. ”
elvis hung up, hitting his forehead in the wall next to him before walking to the bathroom to get ready.
you were the one to usually wake him as you woke up earlier because of all the household duties you love to do. it was after you told him after he insisted on hiring someone for it:
“ i love taking care of you, don't be stubborn. ”
that he stopper insisting.
now he regrets letting you win because he got so used to your cute voice waking him up with little kisses in his face.
damn, he felt like he was going to cry.
️️ ️️️️️️️️️
after he arrived, everyone was around him, asking him if he was okay, if something happened, it made him want to hold his head to block out the noise.
“ nah, 'm good, don' worry, 'kay? ” he said with a tired tone in his voice.
you usually walked hand in hand with him, answering all questions for him as you knew how overwhelmed he could get at this hour and even more when he had to practice for some show.
elvis then sat in the chair inside the booth, clearing his throat. feeling a bit weird as you weren't there to give him his good luck kiss.
“ ep, you good? ”
he turned to see the pianist looking at him.
“ yeah, yeah, just a bit, uh... don't worry. ” he just shook his head, giving a thumbs up for the music to start.
he spent the whole session spacing out after ending a song, laughing quietly at some jokes and just drinking water.
he felt so weird. he didn't knew in what moment did your touch became so comforting to him at the point where he felt he was going insane without it.
when steve gave everyone a five minute break elvis just shoot himself out his seat, almost running to the phone out of the booth.
dialing your number he waited, not patiently, for you to pick up.
“ hello? ” elvis thought he was going to pass out at the sound of your voice, he really missed you.
“ baby! god, it's so good to hear your voice. but hey, i think you cursed me or something 'cause y'know i got late today because i couldn't wake up without your 'good morning', ” he even made a girly voice in an attempt to copy yours. “ then i didn't had breakfast because i tried to do that sandwich you make for me and it just. didn't. hit. the. same. ” he stomped his feet at every pause, like a toddler. “ and i almost break down crying because i didn't get your good morning kiss either, can you come home? ”
he waited for an answer, probably a 'okay, i'm actually taking a plane back home as we speak' type of answer but what he got was laughter.
laughter.
“ wha-. is my suffering funny to ya'? ” he asked with his hand in his waist; doing his dad stance.
“ oh my god! elvis aaron presley, are you telling me to go back home because you couldn't get your good morning kissie? ” you said between laughs, probably tears running down your face.
“ no! ” he defensively said, looking around before saying. “ not just that, it's the sandwich too. ”
you laughed harder.
“ stop laughing, it's not funny! at all! if you told me 'elvis, i love you and i need you to leave right now to be at my side', i'll do it! i'll take the first plane back home and- ”
his rant was cut off as steve screamed at him.
“ elvis, come on! ”
elvis sighed.
“ you have to go back? ”
“ yeah... ”
“ okay, look, call me when the session ends and we'll talk about whatever you need, okay? ”
“ okay... ” he pouted like a child.
“ okay. i love you, you baby. ”
“ 'm not a baby. ”
“ sure. ”
you hung up, making elvis sigh again.
“ elvis-! ”
“ yeah, i hear you, goddammit! ”
️️ ️️️️️️️️️
he was now in his dressing room, sitting in the chair as his makeup artist worked while listening to the colonel explaining the whole agenda to steve.
elvis was playing with his straw, occasionally smiling to his makeup artist in a way to say that it was going good.
“ colonel, with all due respect, i feel like 'suspicious minds' should be the open scene, it's just a small show, not a big event. ”
“ no, no, no! it should be polk salad annie, it's fun, it's upbeat! ” the colonel turned to elvis, pointing at his figure with his clown custom cane making elvis snicker as he remembered that time you joked about the colonel showing a picture of him to the shop worker about the type of cane he wanted and them just giving him a clown cane. “ my boy would agree with me! ”
steve just sighed. “ elvis, what do you think? ”
“ uh... ” the makeup artist took a step back, elvis standing up; putting his hands in his waist, looking at the ground. “ excuse me. ” he walked to the white phone that was on the table.
“ what are you doin- ” elvis held a finger to the colonel.
“ hiya, baby! ” elvis greeted you, showing his back to the colonel and his profile to steve. “ wanna ask you something really quick, uh, what song do you like more as an opening song: 'suspicious minds' or 'polk salad annie'? ”
steve had to turn his head to the side to hide his laughter at the sight of the colonel's shocked face.
“ suspicious minds? great! thank you and enjoy your day, doll, i love ya'. ” he kissed the phone before hanging up, looking at the colonel with a confident smile.
“ suspicious minds will be the opening song. ” he sat in the chair again, grabbing his coke and sipping it while looking at the song lyrics clearly unaware of the situation before hearing steve's loud laughter.
“ what in the damn hell just happened? ” the colonel asked while steve kept laughing.
️️ ️️️️️️️️️
he was getting ready for a press conference, fixing his hair for the millionth time.
the colonel was giving orders to the press, telling them what was appropriate to ask and what not while elvis stood behind him, next to jerry and another memphis mafia member.
“ shit. ” he muttered under his breath, trying to make his hair look good.
“ what's going on? ” jerry asked, sparing a glance to elvis.
“ my hair is looking like a damn mess. ” he complained, his hands still touching the ends of his hair.
“ lemme call the styl-. ”
“ no, he doesn't know how to do this. ” elvis quickly turned the offer down, getting more nervous as he saw how his hair continued to look like he just woke up or something.
“okay! boy, we' goin' out right now-. ”
“ no, just let me fix this. ”
come on, you dumb hair, work!
“ elvis, we don't have ti-. ”
“ wait! ” he quickly remembered what you used to do, he grabbed steve's water bottle wetting a part of his scarf in it now using that piece of cloth to tame his hair down, making it work. not as perfectly as it did when you did it but it worked.
“ 'kay, let's go. ” he shrugged his shoulders, walking to the press conference with five shocked and confused faces behind him.
️️ ️️️️️️️️️
after the show, elvis just dried his sweat with the white towel he was given by some staff giving them a quick 'thank you' as he walked to his dressing room.
in a moment of obliviousness he stopped in his tracks, leaning his cheek to the side while drying his wet hair.
everyone just stood quiet.
“ uh... elvis? ” steve asked, looking at elvis as if he was insane. “ you good? ”
he just looked at steve like he was bothering him before realizing what the fuck he was doing.
snapping out of the state of mind he was in, he stood straight, clearing his throat.
“ sorry, thought the suit was... tighter. ” he whispered the last part, walking quickly to his dressing room while everyone looked confused.
he dialed you again, now in his expensive robe, sitting in the small couch his dressing room had.
“ hi! ” your voice welcomed him again.
“ i'm going insane. ”
a few seconds of silence passed.
“ okay, what happened? ” you asked as if this was normal to you, it sounded like you were in some kind of outdoor area as the wind could be heard.
“ i just- you're going to laugh again. ”
“ i won't! ”
elvis reluctantly shook his head.
“ i don't believe you. listen, just... can you come home? i really, really miss you. baby, i'll send the private jet, hell, i'll fly it myself! ” he threw a hand to the air, hitting his elbow with something making him pout.
you softly chuckled. “ elvis, just for two days mor-. ”
he groaned.
“ no! i want you here right now! you don't get it, i have to take this suffering alone. ”
you held your laughter back, shaking your head.
“ elvis, it's just for two days, they're going to pass quick! i'll be there in a blink, you'll see. ”
he blinked.
“ liar. ”
“ elvis! ” you laughed. “ you're being a brat. ”
“ hey! 'm not. ” he sighed again, falling in the couch as if it was some kind of support. “ fine. two more days and you take your cute ass home, got it? ”
“ yes. ” you chuckled. “ i love you, sleep well. ” you sent him a kiss, making him smile.
“ i love you too, g'bye. ”
“ bye. ”
the call ended. making elvis feel lonely again.
️️ ️️️️️️️️
it was now the day you were going to come back home, elvis dressed the best he could, driving himself to the airport as he insisted in you traveling back home with his plane so he could welcome you without anyone bothering you.
he was checking himself out after arriving, fixing his hair the best he could, cleaning his glasses and trying to make his outfit look better. feeling the excitement feel his body at the realization that he was going to go back to normal, his morning kisses will be there, the pampering will be there after every show... and those delicious pj's sandwiches you do.
thank god you're already his wife because he could propose you again.
... why not propose to you again?
before he could think even further he listened to the plane landing, bouncing in his feet like an excited kid. and after some minutes, he saw your figure go down the stairs, now in the same place as he was.
he ran to you, giggling like a love-sick high schooler, his arms holding you when you were close enough.
“ elvis! ”
“ doll! ”
you both said hugging each other with all the strength you could muster.
“ i missed you. ”
“ i missed you even more, sweetheart. ”
you both didn't notice the relieved sighs of jerry behind the both of you.
breaking up the hug, you both walked to the car. hand in hand.
“ so, how was it? did you get some free time without me? ”
elvis immediately shook his head, holding your hand tighter.
“ no doll, i beg of you to not leave me alone ever again. next family reunion i'm going with you, i don' give a damn if i have something important that day. ”
you laughed, caressing his arm with your other hand as you arrived closer to the car, jerry and steve beside the both of you.
“ that's too bad cause i thought of going to my cousin's wedding next wee-. ”
“ NO! ” three male voices shut you down, jerry pleading with his hands as if he was praying, steve with his hands in his head as if you just told him the world was ending and elvis hugging your waist as if you were going to dissappear in any second.
looks like the one that'll be needing free time is going to be you.
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https-yeonjun · 2 months
Text
txt as ariana grande songs
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wc. 1153 (each member is over 200 words)
genre. fluff
tags. non-idol!txt x gn!reader; many different aus
warnings. repost; mentions of alcohol and food [if there's anything else please let me know]
more of my work
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yeonjun → boyfriend
i don’t know why i’m allergic to established relationship yeonjun but just think about fwb!yeonjun and it’s just a constant back and forth “will they? won’t they” thing but like all your friends already just function like you’re a couple anyways. and you guys are just like “no we’re not -_-”. but still you both always get jealous when you see the other talking to someone else.
i think this pairs well with frat bro!yj who invites you to one of the parties at his fraternity house but spends the entire night talking to what seems like everyone at this party but you. you decide to entertain yourself with one of his frat brothers who you’ve had some classes with. he drags you to play beer pong with him. from the corner of his eye, yeonjun catches you two laughing together and asks to play the next round against you. you don’t realize how good he is at beer pong. and like the gentleman he is, he urges his brother to drink for you because “you’re twice they’re size, are you really going to let them drink all that alcohol?” so your partner begins to lose his balance, and literally no one is surprised when yeonjun wins.
after the game, he finally gives you the attention that you wanted, when he pulls you to his room. “aww, were you jealous junie?” you tease him as he shuts the bedroom door.
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soobin → daydreamin’
soobin is soooo first love class crush coded. he’s just someone you could / would / should fall in love with the moment that you lay your eyes on him. i was originally thinking of a college!au lab partner thing but walk with me. maybe he’s your best friend’s cousin who is staying with their family for the summer and he has to tag along with the two of you everytime you hang out because he doesn’t know anyone in town and your friend’s parents want him to meet new people.
the first day you met him, you and your friend planned to go strawberry picking. they drove over to your house to pick you up and you see him in the front seat. your friend tells him to move over to the back so you can sit at the front. he gets out of the car and introduces himself to you and you feel all the blood in your body rush up to your face because he is the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. throughout the hour-long drive, you keep making eye contact in the rearview mirror and you feel your stomach doing flips and your organs turning to mush.
at the strawberry fields, he trails behind you and your friend but you try your best to include him in the conversation. your friend ends up walking in front of the two of you and he offers to carry your basket for you as you keep talking and getting to know about him.
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beomgyu → tattooed heart
okay okay okay this kinda sorta has nothing to do with the song but hear me out hear me out i was listening to this song and i randomly thought of tattoo artist!beomgyun. and he’s so creative and artistic and talented. i feel like he is the type of person that could literally do any medium of art and make a masterwork.
one day, you were walking around and you saw that a tattoo place was doing a flash sale and you had always wanted one so you decided to see if they had any that you liked. you were visibly nervous because it was your first tattoo and at first the artist that was doing yours seemed really quiet. but it turns out beomgyu was so sweet and he really did his best to make you feel comfortable throughout the entire experience. he was telling you stories and cracking jokes and everything. you didn’t even notice that he had already finished.
and after that you keep going back to the same place and working with him only and imagine him telling you that he designed a tattoo for you because he couldn’t get you out of his mind lol.
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taehyun → goodnight n go
i definitely was going to go the angsty route for this but i had wayyy to many songs from yours truly in this and i also think goodnight n go fits him so well. this song and tyun make me think of 13 going on 30 which is one of my favorite movies.
i’m thinking about childhood best friends that haven’t seen each other in a while. and one day you invite him over because he has been dying to see what your life in the city is like. you spend the entire afternoon catching up, laughing at inside jokes, and reminiscing about old times. and even though you haven’t seen each other in what feels like years, you still fall back into your old pattern and it feels like you never left. the time slips your mind and by the time either of you notice, it’s already dark outside and he missed the last train out of the city, so he has to spend the night.
of course he doesn’t want to be an imposition so he offers to sleep on the couch but you manage to convince him that “that is ridiculous, we used to share a bed as kids.”
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kai → main thing
the fact that this is the only established romantic relationship in this makes me giggle but i was originally going to do this song for yeonjun but i think it fits kai so much better. he would be such a doting partner i think. he’s so lovely and perfect and i definitely have very real romantic feelings for him but that’s beside the point.
you’ve had a horrible day and it literally feels like the entire world is crumbling around you. you text him to tell him that you just got home and you’re probably going to call it a night early. he can tell from your tone that something happened and in twenty minutes he’s at your door with takeout, your favorite ice cream, and a board game. you’re confused when you open the door and see him grinning at you with his hands full, but you’re eternally grateful that you have someone as thoughtful as you. he makes sure you eat as he runs you a bath and stays with you as you unload everything that happened to you that day.
i feel like kai is definitely the partner to play with your hair as you lay on the couch together watching a random show. he feels your breathing slow down and sees that you fell asleep. he only wakes you up so he can help you back to your bedroom to sleep properly.
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Note
Hi there! How are you? I hope your doing well! I wanted to send in a request if that’s alright with you, if your requests are closed feel free to ignore this—! Anyways, your writing is also really good as well ^-^ Also quick question but do you take matchups by chance? Anyways, 시작하자!
Could I request Alastor and Vox (together or separately if you like) with a Male! Or GN! Reader who’s was a really famous rapper back on earth but sadly died because they were shot outside after finishing a concert? also the reader raps about true stuff like king von did.
Thank you and have a great day! さようなら!
A/N: Hii! Thank you so much for requesting this & I’m so glad you like my work (i was in a writing slump & was afraid i fell off)!! As of right now I’m not currently doing match ups, but possibly in the future I might! As someone who doesn’t listen to rap all that often this was a bit of a challenge, but we got this 😝
(Inspired by several artists)
Warnings: Headcannon format, headcannoned male reader but can be read as GN, SFW all the way, mentions of shootings, mentions of smut but not in detail,
Songs you can listen too while reading: The World is Yours by Nas. Hail Mary by Tupac. Crazy Story 2.0 by King Von.
Navigation!! // Masterlist!!!
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Vox is actually a fan of yours, that’s kind of how you two met
Valentino had been trying to get in contact with a girl on your security team, so he decided to take Vox to a show of yours, the show had just ended and you had been getting asked questions about your life and cameras were everywhere
Now, vox controls the media, television at least, so he decides what makes if on air and what doesn’t and this is how you two talk
you ask him to make a deal with you, nothing negative about your human life gets out into the media and when he asks you to clarify, you tell him
to say he was a bit more than shocked is an understatement
he was TOTALLY shocked to his core and in all honesty he felt bad
so he decides to help your friendship is short and sweet towards the beginning,
your team handling most of the contact the two of you shared so it was usually business talk
untilll he’s invited with valentino to go to a party of yours where the two of you get wasted and end up sleeping together
he’s embarrassed, not of you but of his emotions, is this even right?? did you care at all??
WELLLL turns out you did because the next day when he woke up still at your house you calmly told him of your feelings, and that despite only speaking about business you felt like you two could become more
he almost sheds a tear poor guy is SO OVERJOYED HE WASNT THE ONLY ONE, and from there you two develop a relationship 🫶
your biggest supporter, he is always at concerts and interviews with you to make sure everything goes smoothly ,
he’ll even talk to Velvet to make sure your socials are covered and no one posts anything online about you
want a day to yourself? paparazzi just got a report you’ll be somewhere you totally weren’t thanks to velvet
a crazy fan lied about you? valentino is already on it
you literally never have to worry with Vox around
trust whoever killed you while you were alive WILL be dealt with
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Now, Alastor is a tricky man meaning
he hates anything that isnt Jazz or from his time
so he definitely didn’t like you at first
like he wouldn’t even care to listen to music let alone YOURS he’d just walk away or hum something to himself
Charlie is the one that actually gets him to listen, and she explains that your different from other artists, uniquely you
so he caves and decides to sit and give it a listen
ten seconds in and he’s stopping the music getting up and walking away claiming he still doesn’t like it but again,
Charlie is charlie and REFUSES to stop so she makes him restart the song and listen yet again
by the end of it he still doesn’t particularly like the music you make, and a part of him actually hurts your feelings
“Why share your issues to the world? Sharing that side of you makes you weak. Horrible taste!”
Cue Vaggie rolling her eyes and Husk just scoffing because what is this dude yapping about?
Doesn’t help this all happened before you left for a show so your nervous the entire time
Charlie gets upset and scolds him, telling him it’s wrong to say that and it is in fact your music so you can do what you want and he agrees, it is your music, but he’s not gonna listen to it
he’s definitely more personality based out of the two, he does think your a nice person, and after hearing you got shot he almost chokes, it triggers his memory
you catch him sitting in the library of the hotel reading and try talking to him
the conversation is light before you somehow land on the topic of your death and when you learn Alastor too was shot you feel a bit more connected to him
surprisingly enough alastor is the one to approach you about a potential relationship and you’re like extremely excited because how often is it the radio demon asks to date you?!?!?!
he does start going to your shows more often after you two begin seeing each other, and though he isn’t entirely too crazy about it, he goes to support you <3
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