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emo-batboy · 6 months

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Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University

Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D

Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model

Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.

Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it

Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-

Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)

Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything

Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did

“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway

Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work

Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.

Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY

Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*

Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him

Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)

Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew

Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.

Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once

Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving

Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam

Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.

Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone

Makes a murder wall

Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people

Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*

Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time

Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad

Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*

Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM

Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)

Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*

Wears a suit to one of his finals

Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has

Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion

Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom

Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct

Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons

Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*

Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those

Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that

Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which

Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?

Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times

Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)

Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*

Okay that's all love you BYE

#cryptid Bruce Wayne #college au #does this count if op is the au #fully nocturnal unhinged madman Bruce but make him like 17 and full of crippling separation anxiety and autism #bruce would rather die than inconvenience a professor but hE KNOWS HIS DINOSAURS #Dino class was my fav one in uni hands down #yes i am insane thank you for asking #originally this was just going to be a normal list but I kept taking from my own experience then said “fuck it I'm the captain now”#one of these was a lie tho...the murder wall was third year :/#battinson #bruce wayne #batman #the batman 2022 #batman 2022 #the batman #battinson needs a hug #dc universe #gotham #autistic bruce wayne

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byunpum · 1 year

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Experiment 56

Neteyam x Human reader ( like a mix of human and Navi )

and sullyFAM x human reader, why not? <3

Tw: mmm neteyam baby, reader being mutant, neytiri being a sweetheart, nothing really out of the ordinary (until now ), all the characters are aged up 20's.

POV: Y/N is surprised that it is an indispensable piece for the human race. But for her family…

Experiment 56 masterlist | Experiment 56 sequel Masterlist

Note: I had that story in my head for some days, and since nobody published something similar, I decided to create my own reading. From now on I warn you that I am not very expert in this Navi culture, but I did my best. And I'll be using events that happened in the movie, but they won't be exactly the same. And sorry for the spelling. English is not my mother tongue.

Document #456 “experiment 56” [human-navi] southern area:

“The experiment is making progress. After 30 attempts, we can finally say that the first embryo is taking shape. If this embryo grows as we all hope. This will be a huge turnaround for the human race."

Dr. Herdenson signs.

Yes, that was you… an experiment. Or better said “experiment 56”. A perfect mix of navi and human. You had your human body, but in your hair you were accompanied by the distinguished queue of the navis (tsaheylu) and the ability to breathe the air of pandora without any problem. You were a beautiful baby. Or that's what Jake said when he saw you in norm's arms. After the great battle, and after the humans were sent to earth, the peaceful scientists were the only ones who stayed, and that was when the investigations of the facilities that the military had in Pandora began. And that's where they found you. A newborn baby. Norm didn't know what to do and neither did any of the scientists, you were a whole new species, but you were still human. They had enough with spider, who was still a baby. So when Neytiri and Jake were picking up Kiri in the lab, Norm didn't hesitate to introduce him to this baby.

"what kind of baby is this?" Jake asks as he holds you in his arms.

“It's an experiment, I'm terrified to know what else they did, but… this is some kind of mix between human and navi. From what I could investigate they wanted to create a new race of humans.” said norm.

Neytiri didn't take her eyes off you, she couldn't believe that a human could have some navi characteristics. You were physically like the people in the sky, but you had your little braid. For neytiri you were a great miracle, eywa would not let any creature be created, if it had no meaning for life.

"I thought… since you guys are going to take Kiri, why don't you take Y/N" Norm said.

"Y / N" neytiri has taken you from Jake's arms and placed you on his chest. She felt something special…she didn't understand why she felt compassion and love for something created by humans.

"Well… I don't have a problem, but neytiri…" Jake looked at neytiri, who was already mesmerized by the baby she was holding in her arms.

“I will help you, I will also teach her about human culture. But I think it's only right that you take care of her these first days of her life. I know you guys will do a better job than me." Norm kept talking to Jake, and explaining how they found you. While neytiri, he was holding kiri and you in his arms. You wouldn't be her daughter, but she would take care of you like one.

Arriving home, neytiri quickly introduced the new babies, to her already born son, neteyam. She placed the three babies together, and looked at them for a while. Until the warm silence was interrupted by Jake. He placed his head on Neytiri's shoulder.

"Are you comfortable with all this? It's not much… ”Jake said, while Neytiri turned to see her mate now. “We have to introduce you to the clan, kiri and y/n…. they must be presented to eywa”. She said as she smiled.

And that's how you grew up in the sully family, you pretty much lived with them 24/7, occasionally going with norm and the other scientists to learn about your other culture. But your home was in the forest. Over time more members arrived, loak and tuk. And sometimes they were accompanied by a boy named spider, which neytiri did not like. You didn't understand why she didn't like the child, he was just like you, the only thing different was an oxygen mask and that she didn't have the queue. But otherwise he was just like you.

"why don't you love spider?" you asked as neytiri traced your hair. You were only about 10 years old at this time, and you already noticed the differences in treatment. “He's not like us,” Neytiri said, her voice serious. "But he looks like me" you raised your head higher, to make eye contact with the woman who was lovingly combing your hair. "Yes, but you're not like him… you're a navi." Neytiri did not want to delve too much into the subject. To her you were special, her special gift from her just like Kiri. She didn't like discussing these topics with you, plus they were difficult topics to understand.

The years passed 15, 16 then 19 and now 20 years. You were quite a woman, and it was not to brag, but you were very beautiful. Even mo'at she said it "for a mix, you are very beautiful" she always said this while you helped her with the medicines. And this is also not overlooked by the eldest son of the sully, neteyam.

You grew up with him, literally together. As children, you did everything in each other's company. Since you were smaller than normal navis children. Jake gave neteyam the task of taking care of you and always being by your side. Even when it came time to choose your ikran, neteyam made sure it was one you could master, but this turned out to be a disaster as your size prevented you from riding your ikran easily, to which neteyam promised you that his ikran was also yours. You were able to bond with smaller animals, but Jake was always afraid you'd get hurt. Therefore, you and neteyam always accompanied each other in hunting and exploring pandora. You were inseparable. You were attached to the other brothers, but with neteyam it was different, it seemed that you were meant for each other. Or so loak and spider said, while he made fun of you two for looking like gumballs.

“Jake is going to kill you…you know that” you said while Kiri was at your side. You referred to Jake by his name, but eywa knew that you loved him as your father.

"Well, if you keep quiet no one will find out" loak, trying to see what was left of a ruined laboratory. area that Jake had forbidden them to go to.

"I think we have to go, that's enough… kiri, spider, tuk y/n let's get out of here" neteyam got up from the grass while he took y/n's hand.

“hey, wait… we just started. Nothing will happen. We're just going to look and we'll go quickly” Spider said taking your other hand and pulling you closer to him. Neteyam did not find this gesture comfortable. He was in charge of you. Neteyam knew that if something happened to loak or spider the punishment would be light. But if you, kiri or tuk got hurt, he had to disappear from the peace of pandora. Because his parents were going to kill him. And, on the other hand, he didn't really like the physical contact that spider had with you. He felt intimidated, in the end spider and you shared more physical similarities. That you with him and that broke his heart.

"Come on, just for a while" tuk yelled as she made little faces at her older brother. “Don't be a party pooper…come on!!!” loak came out of the undergrowth and behind was spider going both to the laboratory. Kiri sighed and followed them and behind her was a tuk.

“We are going to get in trouble” said neteyam as he looked at you. “Well yes… but it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Come on…and I swear I'll stay by your side.” You look at neteyam, while he gives you an approving smile and chases after the others.

Upon entering the laboratory, they noticed that everything was consumed by nature. There were abandoned paperwork, among other things. Something was very noticeable, there was a very bad smell. "ahhhh disgusting" tuk shouted, while kiri covered his mouth. "Shut up, we have to be quiet" Kiri replies, as he continues further into the offices. Everything seemed taken from a movie, one of those you'd seen with norm. Everyone was investigating random things that were found, neteyam was by your side. His tail flicked back and forth alertly and would occasionally curl around your leg. "Neteyam I'm fine… calm down" you told him as you passed your hand through his arms. "You know I feel like this is not right, we should go." Before you could respond to neteyam, loak called you to go look at some documents he had found.

As you approached, you noticed that they were in an old desk, and this was in front of a capsule that was already broken. And these papers were in a folder, which had written on the front "experiment 56" and in small letters "new species (mutated humans)". Neteyam stood behind you, loak was on your right side and kiri and spider were on your left side, all of them were surrounding you. And they looked at you with great intrigue.

You knew you were different, but you had never seen yourself as a human, since neytiri always said that you were equal to a navi. And no one ever said anything about your appearance, or you never heard anything. So you didn't care much about your appearance, but you weren't unaware that you were different. So when you saw a title that could be related to you, you were shocked.

"Give me I open it for you!!!" spider took the documents and began to read them. You all knew how to read without any problem because norm had taught you as children. “experiment 56, we want…blah blah blah improving the human race, uniting the genes of the navis with the human. The purpose is to create a new race of super humans. So they can live in pandora and blah blah blah.” Spider kept talking, while the others just listened intently. Neteyam noticed how you were moving towards the capsule that was further on, I accompanied you "y/n…" he started to speak, but you interrupted him "I'm a damn experiment… a thing. I am a monster” Your eyes began to fill with tears, neteyam knelt down and made you look into his eyes “spider shut up… y/n look at me!!! You're not a thing, much less a monster. You are a navi, you are our family" Kiri approached and hugged you from behind "it's true, ignore what those papers say. Maybe they have nothing to do with you” you looked at neteyam and kiri with so much love. You loved them both so much. “but… the only person here with a tail and is human is y/n. So this talks about you” said loak while everyone looked at them with angry faces. And of course, you also loved that idiot.

You approached the papers, you took them and kept them in a small bag that you had on your waist. "How about we continue investigating?" They all started, but not even 5 minutes passed when a voice came out of the choker "y/n, where the hell are you?" It was Jake's voice. You pressed the button on the right to answer. "I'm with the boys for a walk?" You hear Jake's ragged breathing into the microphone, you know very well you're lying, "Is everyone there with you?" "Yes" they all respond at the same time "Listen, get out of wherever you are and go back home. Now!!!" the voice was stern "I hope you guys aren't in the abandoned lab or else" Jake's voice was interrupted when tuk replies that she's sorry, and that loak forced them to go.

While Jake began to scold loak, you and Kiri looked at each other in shock as they heard some voices coming from outside. You guys quickly left the back of the lab, making as little noise as possible. all of you ran silently into the forest, "I think voices are no longer heard here" said tuk, until a hand grabbed your hair and placed you on the ground. More people came out and took them all. Between screams and whimpers. A tall avatar came out of some corner of the forest, he had an authoritarian and evil appearance. He approached you and looked at your features "So you are the guinea pig they were looking for, you are beautiful" Your teary eyes could only look at the sinister look of that man, while you heard the screams of your family in the background.

p.s: This is a pilot, if you like it let me know, I have the whole story in my head.