#Also follow me on instagram since there I public more often
Note
Hey! Hope everything’s going good! Was thinking if bandmember did anything like the vanity fair Billie eilish videos when they watch back all those interviews. Would love to see how far our girl has come
YN YLN: Same Interview, The Sixth Year | Vanity Fair
A/N: Christmas break is coming up so been busy but I also have some stuff coming out soon for your lovies! 💚
SINCE 2010 masterlist
“Year six, baby,” YN smirks at the camera. “Alright—” She pulls on the tops of her pink sheer opera gloves that match her pink corset before clapping her hands together. “—Let’s do this. ‘Ello, m’name is YN YLN. Today’s date is October 18, 2022.”
How old are you?
“I’m 23 years old.”
“I’m 24.”
“25.”
“26.”
“27.”
“M’28 years old,” YN kisses her teeth. “M’pushing 30, mate.”
How many followers do you have on Instagram?
“I have 573K followers on Instagram.”
“8.7M.”
“60.9M.”
“94.8M.”
“106M.”
“I currently have 287 million followers on Instagram. Dunno why I have so many; I make a lot of shit posts.”
What is your most liked picture on Instagram?
2017:
“My most liked picture is one of me and the boys huddled up backstage after our last performance together with 654K likes.”
2019:
“It is a picture of me in my home recording studio with about 5 million likes.”
2022:
“It’s currently one of me photo dumps on tour. The first picture on that one is a selfie with Harry taking a bite out of m’cheek. This one has 60,036,819 likes. Which is way too many likes if m’being honest.”
How are you feeling today?
2022:
“M’feeling really good. I always look forward to these interviews. I try me best not to look at the old videos more than once so that I can best prepare meself for my current answers, yeh know? But I love that I get to do this every year. There’s a lot of like, time lapse compilation videos on meself on YouTube that show off how far I’ve come over the years but these I feel are the least cringy ones,” YN lets out a laugh.
Biggest thing to happen in your career?
2021:
“I won a Grammy for producer of the year?” YN furrows her eyebrows as she juts her chin out. “Wha’ is life? That’s insane. The highlight of me career. Hands down.”
2022:
“It’s still the highlight of me career. And I got nominated for it again for Grammys 2023. To even be nominated and be the only woman in this category a second year in a row is just super fookin’ wild. Um...I got seven other Grammy nominations for next year. I’m also on tour again—a world tour—and it’s definitely me favorite thing to do aside from making the actual music. Harry’s new album that we’ve been workin’ on for over the past two-ish years finally came out earlier this year. I’m dropping me third album before the year is up. So many good things have happened this year that it’s honestly too long to list.”
How often do you get recognized in public?
2017:
“Pretty often,” She nods her head, a chuckle pushing past her lips. “It’s pretty hard to just go out and grab a bite to eat without getting surrounded.”
2020:
“Public? Who is she? I dunno her,” YN teases. “It’s pretty rare that I’ll go out nowadays and the masks only help so much with trying to be lowkey on the street on stuff like tha’.”
2022:
“I have to admit, v’gotten a lot better at being discreet when going out in public,” She nods her head with a knowing smile. “I think I was just so used to not being ‘allowed’ to go outside or if I did I wouldn’t enjoy meself because I knew I was gonna get recognized by paps. It was really hard for baby YN there because of how everything started. Everything I did was in the public eye and no matta’ what I did, me fans always knew where I was at all times it seemed,” YN hums.
“I love me fans and I love the times when we happen to see each other on the street, we can have like a genuine conversation instead of shoving yeh phone in me face and putting yeh hands on me without me permission. I’ve had the most amazing conversations with fans like tha’ those moments are super special to me.
But in all honesty, they need to get hired by the FBI or somethin’. Knowin’ where m’gonna be before I even do,” She huffs out a chuckle.
What’s most important to you right now?
2020:
“The relationships within me life. I think this year has really made me recognize that. Whether those relationships are with me mum, me boyfriend, me tour team, me dancers, the fans—they’re all super important to me. Makin’ sure that we’re all safe and healthy—mentally and physically—now more than ever.”
2022:
“All of which are still very important to me. I think v’also learned to stay in touch with me emotions. I think in an industry like this, it can be very easy to just put on a mask or passively go through events to maintain an image. If I’m doing something—wether it be somethin’ major or not, I want to allow m’self to be in the moment.
I did a show recently in Austin and...” The crease between her eyebrows disappear and smile etches itself on her lips at the memory, “I was singing POV and I just stopped singing and the crowd took over. I quite literally just stood there, took out me earpieces and just listened to a stadium full of people sing my song back to me. It made me feel so...it made me feel really good, really happy.”
Do you feel pressure?
2017:
“I do yeah,” YN nods with a sincere furrow of her eyebrows. “But I have been feeling pressure for the majority of my career so I’m mostly used to it by now; It doesn't bother me as much anymore.”
2022:
“Of my fookin’ word,” She throws her head back. “I can’t even—like even the way I spoke, man. Can yeh hear that? Like, I was still in the mindset of having to change the way I talk, tweak me accent and act all prim and proper,” YN points a finger into her mouth as she sticks out her tongue.
“And what a lie. Like of course that pressure bothered me still! I was fresh into the hiatus, just dropped me first solo album, about to do a world tour by meself for the first time. I was dealin’ with so much that I remember the pressure of everything was just...it felt that I was gonna be squished into a pancake. Being in the band and being as big as we were, there was an immense amount of pressure for everything to keep going well; everything seemed like it had to get bigger and bigger and if I didn’t live up to that standard as a solo artist, it was the end of the world to me.”
“I do still feel some pressure but definitely not to that extent anymore. It’s more of like, a good pressure, I’d say. It keeps me from resting on me laurels and it makes me continue to work hard to improve meself. Like, just because I won an award for produce of the year doesn’t mean that m’gonna let it get to me head and just not work to better meself in that craft.
But I have to admit that a lot of that pressure has been lifted off of me from me fans. They’ve just continued to give me their unconditional love and support—whether it be for a year, 2 years, 12 years—m’just super grateful that they just allow me to be me, flaws and all.”
What did you eat today?
2020:
“I ate some grilled chicken—that I made all by myself—with a side of some beans,” YN giggles as she knows by now that the fans have been having a laugh about her boyfriend’s baked beans comment over interviews in quarantine.
2021:
“I had a chicken caesar salad bowl that I probably put way too much dressing on to be considered healthy anymore,” She chuckles, playing with the chunky chain sitting on her collarbones.
2022:
“I actually had an amazing chicken wrap this morning. Just the right amount of protein and yumminess,” She pats her tummy with a content smile. “Yeh girl likes chicken, what can I say?”
Are you aware of people when you're playing?
2019:
“I think so yeah. It’s crazy because for me, it’s scarier to play in front of 6 people than 60 thousand people. But on the other hand, the noisiness of big crowds is super calming to me. I can’t really explain how. Like right before m’gonna go on stage, I like to take out me ear-pieces and just listen to them scream...which now makes me sound like a serial killer of summ’wat,” YN’s shoulders bunch up to her ears as she giggles.
2022:
“I would say that m’more aware of the audience members now more than I ever have before. This current tour that m’on is probably the funnest tour so far and it’s really because of the fans. When m’on stage and when I’m performing, I make sure to look at the people in the audience, yeh know? Like, I can still remember when the band did our first stadium tour, I honestly couldn’t see anything; they were all just blurbed together.
But with this tour, I make sure to take the time during the show to talk with fans. And I make an effort to sing to them and look at them dancing in the pit, the outfits they recreate, the way some of them are just closing their eyes and just being in the moment. As a musician, to see people come to me show and to see how they create this environment where everyone can have fun and let loose and just have a good time is just super amazin’. It’s a really indescribable feeling.”
Are you more confident this year compared to last year?
2018:
“From last year to now? 100%,” She answers with ease, leaning back into her seat. “I think this is the most confident I’ve ever felt, I think. M’not too worried about what people are sayin’ about me because let’s face it, they are always saying something. So if yeh like me, cool. If yeh don’t, cool.”
2022:
“She’s not wrong. 2018 YN’s ego was pretty up there. Granted, me ego is still growing and sensitive so—” YN shamelessly shrugs and puts her hands up in defense. “—Take tha’ as you will. But I definitely feel more confident and secure in who I am as a person and as an artist. When the boys and I went our separate ways musically, I had a hard time sort of, figuring out what I like and the kind of music I wanted to make for meself. Even the way I thought about fashion, I knew people saw me in skirts and things like that but I remember entertaining the idea of if I wanted to continue that as a security blanket of sorts.
When I was in the band, I took things with a grain of salt and m’very happy that I’ve kept that with me.”
Biggest rumor about you?
2017:
“That I’ve slept with each of the 1D boys,” YN lets out a nervous laugh. “Which is gross because they’re all like my brothers.”
2018:
“Where do I even begin?” YN blows out a raspberry. “I’ve been gettin’ this one for literally years now but that m’dating my old bandmate, Harry—which is getting really old at this point,” She scrunches up her nose with a roll of her eyes.
2022:
YN bursts out laughing as she watches her old self answer, knowing full well that during that time period she was in the midst of her on-and-off relationship with Harry.
She tilts her head to the side with a quick raise of her eyebrows, “I mean, she’s not wrong. V’been getting that question/comment asked since we were on the XFactor. And believe it or not, I still get asked that question. I just answer it differently now,” She cheekily brings her shoulder to her chin.
What do you hate being asked?
2018:
“That. The ‘who are you dating?’ question. For a long time, I just had to suck it up and just answer the question but I don’t have to answer if I don’t want to, y’know? Also, I’m my own person,” She begins to list things off of her fingers, “I’m not someone’s arm candy, m’not so-and-so’s new girl. I’m YN YLN and if all you ask me is if I’m dating anyone rather than me music, you don’t deserve my time.”
2022:
YN drops her jaw and the corners of her lips tug up in a smile.
“A feisty little thing she is,” She chuckles. “But no truer words have ever escaped me mouth. She’s right, and I still stand by that. 100%. My career is not based around a guy or who m’dating. That’s not to say I hate talking about Harry—I love to talk about him but don’t make it the whole point of the interview, yeh know?”
Craziest fan moment?
2021:
“Me first show back on tour after being held back in 2020 was really heartwarming. It a stadium show—not intimidating at all for me first show back—” YN sarcastically comments. “—so there were three levels of seating: the pit, the middle section, and then the top. While I was singing, the audience did a fan project where on the top section held up lights to read welcome back, and then the middle said we missed you, and the pit held up pieces of paper saying we love you. M’not even gonna lie, I was bawlin’ me eyes out. Like, just thinking of the amount of work that went into that...” She shakes her head in disbelief.
2022:
“I did a show last week in LA and at the barricade, I saw this lineup of these 5 girls wearing my current and past tour outfits. I have seen some really good recreation of me fits before and it was honestly like a copy and paste, I was so shocked. After talking with them for a bit—now I don’t ever do this—but I invited them to come up on stage with me,” YN laughs.
“I suggested we ditch the choreography for Kiss Me More but they insisted they knew it and sure enough,” YN throws her hands with another laugh. “I almost hired them on the spot!”
Do you have a boyfriend?
2017:
“Um, no. I do not have a boyfriend. I’m just really focused on my music at the moment. That’s my boyfriend,” She lets out a chuckle.
2020:
YN playfully rolls her eyes and throws her hands up, “Well I’d be the biggest liar in the world if I said no.”
She huffs out a giggle as she refers to the entire world finding out about her secret relationship with Harry on New Years Eve of that year.
2021:
“I do have a boyfriend,” She smirks at the camera with a shrug of her shoulder, leaving it at that.
2022:
YN takes a second longer to answer this question and stares at the laptop screen with a fond smile. She technically doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore, but will she let them know that? Nope.
“Well, you’d all be happy to know that Harry and I are still very much together. Still got that boy locked down, ladies,” She playfully winks at the camera with a click of her tongue.
What makes you happy in a relationship?
2022:
“I like quality time. From staying inside 24/7 in 2020 to easing back into my busy schedule made H and I realize that it was important to set some time aside for ourselves, just the two of us. Like, we don’t even have to be talking just as long as we’re together during the business of it all. And...” A smirk grows on her lips, “One of me love languages is physical touch. It definitely wasn't on the list before so you can probably guess who made me this way but yeah. And music, of course, that’s me main form of love language. Whether we’re listening to good music, making it, singing it—anything to do with it m‘in love.”
Describe your style in 3 words.
2017:
“Figuring it out.”
2018:
“No more skirts,” The 24-year-old rolls her eyes.
2019:
“Whatever is comfy,” She laughs as she wraps her light green cardigan tighter over herself.
2020:
“Trying new things.”
2021:
“Trousers and blazers.”
2022:
She tilts her head as she bites her lip, looking up as she thinks about how to compactly frame her style now. As she says the next three words, she holds up her hand to count it off on her fingers, “Pretty in pink. And 2018 YN was a lie. I still fancy a skirt every now and then.”
Biggest thing you’re struggling with?
2019:
“I think, just being honest with meself in terms of how I feel. I think I struggle a lot with allowing meself to feel the way I feel about certain things,” Or about a certain someone. “And that it's okay to feel those things. I know, super detailed,” She chuckles.
2022:
“Yeah, 2019 YN was certainly going through some personal issues. S’crazy to look back at these videos and remember wha’ I was feelin’ during that time. S’pretty crazy. I can say that v’grown immensely from that time of my life which is very comforting to know. It’s still hard for me, don’t get me wrong, but allowing myself to feel things like love or sadness or happiness is something that I’m subconsciously reminding myself to do.
I think the biggest thing that m’stuggling now with is to have check ins with meself. It’s safe to say that m’back to my busy, hectic, never-ending schedule so I want to take a breather every now and then. It can be a whole day, a whole 20 minutes, just a pause to check in with my mind, me body, me spirt to make sure m’okay and then be off to a career that I love very dearly.”
What advice would you give your future self?
2017:
“Have some fun and enjoy this new chapter that you’re venturing onto,” She nods with a smile.
2019:
“I would say to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable. Step out of your comfort zone and take that leap of faith.”
2022:
“What a genetic piece of advice for that first year, eh?” YN chuckles with a smirk, “Enjoy this new chapter you're venturing onto like yeh can hear how professional I wanted to sound,” She playfully rolls her eyes with a sigh. “I would say that 2019 YN’s advice is a good one though. It’s a good reminder to not play things safe all the time. As a narcissist, I want everything to be perfect, especially me music, so to be in the studio and not fall back to me old habits of what I think sounds good, try something different, yeh know? I like that a lot, actually.”
This is my mum...
2017:
“Everyone, say hello to Penny,” YN proudly presents as her stepmum comes up to her side, placing a hand on the back of her chair as she waves at the camera.
“‘Ello, lovelies,” Penny beams.
2018:
“Penny!” YN smiles brightly. When she wiggles her fingers towards her stepmum the sound of her rings clinking together can be heard.
When Penny walks up to her stepdaughter’s side, she puts her hands on top of YN’s red leather jacket to give her shoulders a squeeze.
“Hi baby,” Her stepmum gives a warm smile and gently presses her chin to YN’s temple.
2019:
Penny tucks her long, black hair behind her ears before wrapping her arms around her stepdaughter’s shoulders.
“I love you, my baby,” She says into her hair before planting a kiss on her head.
“I love youuu so much,” YN sings as she holds onto her stepmum’s forearms over her chest.
2020:
“Y’already know what time it is,” YN dances in her seat, her arms already extended out by her side. She lets out a laugh as she watches Penny shimmy her way to her stepdaughter’s side. The tight high waisted jeans show off her curvy, fit figure and a mask covers the lower half of her face.
“It’s Penny time,” Her stepmum throws finger guns at the camera.
2021:
“Come over ‘ere, mum,” YN nods her head over to Penny. Once she’s close enough, she takes a hold of her stepmum’s hand and pulls her over for her to sit on her lap, wrapping her arms over her torso, “Love you.”
“I love you more, baby,” Penny smiles as she leans her head back to rest beside YN’s.
2022:
“This is me mumma,” YN smiles warmly before cooing out a chuckle. “Wha’ happened?” She questions when she sees Penny walk over to her side with glossy eyes.
“Sorry, m’sorry,” She chuckles, dabbing her under eyes with the sides of her index fingers. “S’just really fookin’ cool to see how far you’ve come. Like look at her—” Penny points to the laptop screen that has 2017 YN on display. “—me lil’ baby.”
“Mum!” YN laughs when Penny wraps her arms around her daughter’s head and pulls it to her chest.
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these are angsty times, so i feel like a good angsty blurb about h never making time for you is one idea. but since these are angsty times, then maybe it also calls for fluff so maybe h likes to do one thing different in any of his songs for you every show? kind of like sabrina carpenter’s nonsense outro? so like maybe during keep driving, he always sings something different to you or about you?
pls tell me i’m making sense, i can’t talk i’m too excited
okay hello. of course my first blurb back would be requested at the hands of our very own nova (this is especially for you);
(this is part of the harryshouse!universe too)
It was a known thing that Harry was very much in love with you.
If anything, the poor man was so in love with you he got teased for it. Even the fans were in on some of the jokes. You being a well known Youtuber and social media influencer meant that Harrys doting love was often well publicised.
Actions such as him buying you flowers, him making you dinner or taking you out for a fancy dinner would be shown on your Instagram for fans, and everyone else, to see. However, simple things like stolen kisses, hand-written love notes and 3AM ice-cream runs for you were actions that you kept secret and close to your heart.
Those actions were yours and Harrys alone.
There were some actions, however that were made overtly public so even people that didn't have Instagram or follow you would hear of.
Some of Harrys love declarations made National news headlines.
Specifically the changing of lyrics at his concerts.
Like stated, it was no surprise that the love Harry had for you would cause him to do some crazy things, but Harry changing his lyrics on stage would always be on of the greater, funnier, gestures for you. What's more, is they were as public as they came.
It started with 'Keep Driving'. In New York, night 3.
Nobody was expecting the show to be any different musically to the night before, except for when he changed the lyrics to 'Keep Driving'. At first the fans thought he was singing a different song, but afterwards, through re-watching videos, they came to learn the new lyrics he'd made.
"Cocain, Y/N's boob. I choke her, with a sea view."
When you had come to realise what he had sung you had gone red in the face.
"Harry!"
He knew he was in trouble just from the fact you used his full and proper name, rather than he loving nicknames you used for one another.
"In the kitchen, love." He answered back, swivelling on the barstool chair to face the door you would come through.
When he saw you, you were red in the face and were shaking your head with a sarcastic grin. Harry smiled as he watched you walk over to him, dressed in one of his tour jumpers and a pair of joggers.
You stopped in front of him and he immediately brought you closer, sliding his warm hands underneath the jumper and running them up and down your back.
"What's with the pout, hm?" He asked.
"You know." You challenged him, wanting to see whether he did or did not in fact know.
"If it's about the fact I bought you Galaxy instead of Cadbury's chocolate, again, i've already apologised five times." He groaned.
"It's not about that actually," You shook your head, "But you should know that no amount of apologies will fix that problem."
Harry smiled and shook his head at you. "Then what, baby?"
You turned your phone around and showed him a video of the previous night on stage, singing the new version of ‘Keep Driving’. He nodded his head along to the music and you noticed no sense of regret or guilt to what he had done.
You looked expectantly at him once you’d finished showing it to him.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
“What the fuck was that? You basically outed the fact that I am a very kinky lady.”
Harry snorted a laugh. “Baby, you’re not a lady if you let me choke you.”
“So you both admit and are okay with how you sang that verse.”
“Uh everyone knew the song was about you anyways, love. It’s not that hard to figure it out, since I’ve only ever been in love with you.” He counter argued, making very good points.
“Well now they’re starting a fan project to sing that line instead of the original version.” You grumbled. “So they’re collectively singing about my boobs and you choking me.”
He didn’t day anything but just smiled.
You pushed away from him but he was quick to grab your hand and pull you even closer back to his chest.
“At the end of the day, I’m only choking you.”
And at that, he had pretty much won the argument - later proving his last remark to you.
Since that ‘Keep Driving’ impromptu lyric change, Harry has been clever in building them into the rest of the set. He doesn’t make the lyric changes every night on stage, even if the fans do sing the new version, but sometimes he’ll be spontaneous and create a new one.
“If I was a bluebird, I would fly to you. Y/Ns the spoon, dip them in honey so I could be sticking to youu.”
There was even one show where he saw you standing with a tub of ice-cream and he came over to sing to you:
“Is that ice-cream edible, ‘Cause my stomach’s not that full. Can I have a little taste? Just a taste?”
Before he leant down to taste the ice-cream and screamed ‘oh yeah’ afterwards whilst he continued to dance.
Never was there quite someone who showed their love for their partner, the way that Harry did for you.
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modern west wing social media hcs
i feel like charlie would have the most normal social media acct and following, like maybe an instagram where he posts pictures of himself (mostly for family), and like a twitter where he occasionally retweets his friends or bartlet. he likes making fun of other people (especially senior staff) for being too stuck to their devices, and a large online presence would take away that ability
CJ’s twitter is less incendiary than she’d like, since she’s the face of the bartlet administration, and so a lot of it is discussing policy or clarifying briefings. she does retweet a lot of good edu sites or interesting articles she finds. she herself trends a lot, she’s pretty famous online as a political icon ala AOC or bernie sanders, and she gets a lot of edits made online from press conferences (which she enjoys bragging abt to the other staff, while making fun of them for being out-of-touch). CJ also has a private instagram that hogan had her make, but she only posts extremely blurry pictures of coffee and her goldfish with captions like “hogan said to post to remind people that im alive”. toby always replies with “sending the pictures to MOMA. breathtaking” and danny replies with “breaking news. press secretary reveals she is still alive. more at 7”.
leo does not have social media because he still has a flip phone and a brick laptop. he says he prefers hearing bad news out loud or reading it on physical paper, but really, he just can’t figure out how to work it. im talking types “google” into google, then types “hello find me a map of the united states of america” in the search bar. margaret tried to help but seeing him type google into google physically pained her
josh is banned from twitter (after he pissed off three midwestern states, basket weavers, and most hollywood producers in the first week in office). cj regularly checks to make sure he hasn’t made a new account. he has a public instagram, but cj looks over captions before he posts (he once tried to ask the president for permission to get a new account but the president sided with cj). most of his posts are about encouraging people to vote or be more politically active. he is also not allowed to reply to comments on the instagram, so he reads them out loud in a mocking voice to donna. unbeknownst to him, there is a white house deputy chief of staff twitter page run by donna (with cj’s permission) that discusses white house initiatives and shares fun anecdotes abt day to day work. anytime someone tells josh they love his twitter account he assumes they mean instagram, and nobody tells him until bartlet is two years out of office
donna, like charlie, has an instagram mostly for her family back home, but also has a twitter where she talks about tv shows she likes and her hobbies, that has a decent following. she might have a tumblr but again it would be abt tv shows and hobbies she has
toby is on goodreads and instagram (but only to leave sarcastic comments on his friends’ posts). he hates twitter’s word count limit and how it’s owned by elon musk, and rants abt it often. he leaves lengthy reviews on any political commentary article in the comments section. this has been brought up in the briefing room, to the point where cj has a recording of herself saying “toby ziegler’s online rants are not indicative of president bartlet’s views. if you have any questions please direct them to ziegler himself”
president bartlet has facebook </3. there’s a white house twitter page run by an intern, but he’s not involved with that. he posts fun facts about national parks or ancient latin novels, but each fact starts with something like “joshua lyman, 🧍♂️deputy chief of staff, 🇺🇸doesn’t understand the true beauty of yellowstone national park 🙄🏞🏜🤦♂️”. most people think it’s a parody account and cj doesn’t want to correct them
abbey does not have facebook, despite her husbands insistence that it’s better than twitter. on the rare occasions she uses her account it’s mostly to discuss important medical breakthroughs and her daughter’s work
sam has a really popular instagram, where he posts selfies and pretty pictures of the white house and captions like “having a great day at work today!” or “white house at sunset.. gorgeous”. he posts on his story a lot, and comes off as very relatable to the public. he’s cj’s dream social media user
will bailey runs campaign social medias pretty well but his own twitter account is mostly for promoting the campaigns. occasionally he retweets stuff his friends post, or tweets out funny jokes he hears.
margaret is tumblr famous, but never posts abt her job. her posts regularly wind up on other sites. she hasn’t told anybody and doesn’t plan to
#the west wing#west wing#tww#cj cregg#charlie young#josh lyman#sam seaborn#toby ziegler#margaret hooper#jed bartlet#abbey bartlet#social media au#donna moss#will bailey#leo mcgarry
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A Thousand Years
Synopsis: Zoey brings Jack home for her sister’s wedding.
Series Masterlist
Ever since they’d gone public things had surprisingly been pretty quiet. Sure, a couple people here and there would request to follow her on Instagram and everyone at work had freaked out over the news, especially those she was closest to. But overall, life hadn’t changed much, which Zoey greatly appreciated. Now onto another milestone. Her sister Megan was getting married this weekend back in North Carolina and Jack would finally be meeting the entire Mason clan. Literally everyone in her family was going to be there. And if she thought she was nervous about going out with him in LA? She was about a million times more nervous about this.
“You’ve got to relax, everything is going to be fine. I can practically hear you overthinking and it's about to give me a headache.” Jack chuckles from his seat on the plane next to her. “Are you scared your family isn’t going to like me?”
“No.” She sighs, “I’m worried that my family is going to be too much and scare you off. You are meeting my parents and my sisters and my grandparents and this wedding has been in the works for a year so I need everything to go smoothly while also making sure that they don’t embarrass the shit out of me and ruin the best thing in my life.”
Zoey leans her head back on Jack’s arm and huffs out a breath, turning her head to face him. “That’s you by the way.”
He nods and plants a kiss on her that makes her feel like she’s floating. His lips were so soft and the kiss was so delicate it felt as though she was dreaming. But then he pulled away and she opened her eyes with a shy smile to meet those baby blues that always sent her to the moon. “Zo, listen to me. Nothing in this world will be enough to take me away from you. You’re gonna have to pry my frozen dead body off that door like Rose did Jack in Titanic. Do you hear me?”
“Your family is going to be my family one day. I gotta meet ‘em all eventually.” He laced his fingers between hers and kissed the back of her hand. “This weekend is just another step. And there’s nobody else I wanna take these steps with.”
“I love you, Jackman,” she whispers.
“And I love you right back.”
The rapper had to admit there were butterflies in his stomach when they pulled into the driveway. They weren’t real nerves, just like pre-show jitters that he had to swallow before meeting his girlfriend’s parents.
Isaiah Mason was never one to mince words. He hugged his daughter as soon as he opened the door and gave the man next to her a look he’d probably seen too often.
“So he really is white huh? You know when you told me you were dating a rapper I did not think he would be this…pale.”
“Dad!” Zoey shrieks, squeezing his arm. “Jack, please excuse my father. He clearly doesn’t get out much.”
The curly haired man shakes his head and sticks a hand out. “It’s nice to meet you sir.”
“Nice to meet you too, Jheri curl.”
That joke had her mom calling him into the kitchen after she hugged them both.
The next day was just supposed to be about them hanging out but Zoey woke up to a 911 text from her sister. Something about napkins being aquamarine instead of cerulean, or maybe it was the other way around. Either way it sounded like a Zoey problem and therefore it could become a Jack problem. And he knew by the look on her face when she got off the phone that their day was going to be interrupted.
“Jack I’m so sorry this will only take a couple hours I promise.” She sighs, giving him a sad look. “Then I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”
He laughed softly at her guilt and, hoping to diffuse the situation and reduce her steadily increasing stress levels. “Zo it’s fine. Go do your thing, I’m a big boy, I can find something to do.”
“Okay good. Thank you. And just in case you do get bored, the planner in me kind of knew this would happen so I can text you a list of places to visit along with a contact person for each place and you can let them know you’re on your way so you can still have some privacy. The last thing I need is to get on Twitter and see a jack harlow fan account wondering what the hell you’re doing in North Carolina.” Her party planner hat was definitely on. Of course she had a backup plan.
“You’re the best. Now you go take care of what you have to take care of so we can hang out.” He gave her a kiss and smacked her butt on the way out. God she couldn’t wait to get back to him.
Jack had really only ever been to North Carolina in passing. But this opportunity to explore and be on his own really gave him time to decompress. Being with Zoey had always brought him peace, but being in the place that made her into the person she is made him feel that much closer to her. He ate lunch at the spot she suggested and sat in the little cafe for a few hours to write. She texted him during a momentary break and sent her location. He immediately got up and headed her way. It was a tiny toy store, with little gadgets that she knew he would be obsessed with. The Pokemon collectibles that lined the walls almost brought him to tears.
“Baby,” he whispers as soon as he spots her, “this place is cool as fuck. What the hell did you even do here growing up?”
She giggles, wrapping her arm around him in a side hug, in awe of his childlike joy at the simplest things. “This is actually where I took all my exes to get in their pants. Clearly it still works.”
“Very funny…speaking of exes though,” he looked around to make sure they were alone before he continued. “You never really talk about them.”
“Well, there’s really only one that’s worth talking about. He was the first person I ever truly loved, my first relationship and it didn’t even end badly. We still talk and stuff.”
“Do you mind me asking how it ended?” He asked apprehensively.
“I don’t, at all. Um, like I said before he was my first everything and he kind of became my everything? I don’t know. It was a reality check for me to realize that at 19 my entire life revolved around being with my boyfriend or counting down the minutes until I could fly out and go see him. I had no real sense of time and I don’t know. One day I just woke up and couldn’t fathom losing myself in him any longer. I needed to live my life for my damn self and he understood that when I told him we should end things. Our families are still close and we’re on good terms; it just wasn’t meant to be.”
“And I kind of like how things turned out for me anyway.” She ran a hand along his beard, allowing him to place a gentle peck on her lips.
Jack smiles, leaning in for another one. “I don’t like to brag but…I do want to say I think I may have a little something to do with that.” He makes a tiny gesture with his index finger and thumb for emphasis.
Zoey shook her head with a laugh. She grabbed his hand and walked with him out of the store, “Jack baby, you love to brag.”
On the morning of her sister’s wedding, she was wishing there were more than mimosas to drink. After running around all morning like a headless chicken, Zoey was finally in her dress with her hair and makeup done, silently praying that the ceremony would start on time. The only thing keeping you sane was Jack’s reminder to drink water and have a snack. Megan would actually kill her if she passed out because she hadn’t eaten. And even if she didn’t, Zoey was pretty sure she’d just die of embarrassment. All that needed to happen today was to have a good time, hold some flowers, take some bomb pictures, eat and dance the night away.
The ceremony itself was a blur. Her sister looked like a Disney princess and there wasn’t a dry eye in the room during their vows but the reception space looked like it came straight out of The Knot catalog. David Tutera himself would be proud of what she put together. After the speeches, dinner and cutting the cake, the dance floor opened up and Zoey found Jack immediately as “A Thousand Years” began to play.
“You know, this week has me thinking about our future wedding.” He says softly, his body pressed firmly against hers as they swayed to the music. “I’ve always wanted something small and intimate but if you want something bigger just say the word.”
She looked up to meet his eyes, twinkling against the lit up makeshift tent that held other guests that weren’t on the dancefloor. The woman would never get used to seeing that shade of blue in person and she thanked her lucky stars that she’d get to look at it forever. “Well you’re in luck because I was also thinking about having a small wedding. Small wedding, big honeymoon has always been my goal.”
“I like the way you think, Zozo.” He winks. “And I hate to break it to you but you might have some competition. Nana said she’s ready to get back into dating and she said I was cute.”
He was met with the death glare from hell. “You want me to fight my grandma for you? A widow? That’s just rude.”
“Nobody said anything about fighting, there’s enough of me to go around. I did tell her that I’m a one woman man now though and she understood that. There’s nobody on this Earth that compares to you, sorry to everyone else but this hold you have on me is crazy.”
“Good because the hold you have on me is not something I’m comfortable saying out loud. Thank you for coming home with me and dealing with all of my family along the way,” she whispers, letting out a breath, “I love you.”
He kisses her on the forehead, wrapping his arms around her in a warm hug. “I love you too, sugar.”
I’ve loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more
Taglist:
@jackharloww
@vanwritesfan-fiction
@middlechild404
@harlowcomehome
@itsyagirljaz
@iknowdatsrightbih
@earthtoharlow
@heavyhitterheaux
@hoodharlow
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I've followed you for quite a while and I've always loved your style plus I lived vicariously through your life in Japan lol. I'm sorry if you've already posted this I couldn't find the post but I was wondering why you left Japan. It's my dream to live there one day and I was curious what it was like.
I have answered that in my Instagram Stories, but here is the long story version (TL;DR: I came back mainly because of my poor health):
I left Japan after 6 1/2 years for several reasons, but one the main reason is because of my health. I've never been the healthiest person, even before moving there (I was even dubbed "the sick one" at my old job because I often had to suddenly leave work in the afternoons). I was constantly tired and had really bad abdominal pains. I saw several doctors in Montreal, and all I managed to get was a diagnosis for IBS and anxiety. However, I was functional most days, and managed to work and live relatively normally, as long as I rested a lot and stuck to my FODMAP diet.
During the few first years of my life in Japan, my physical health remained that way, with some random very bad health periods, but overall, I was fine. I even started to workout regularly to improve my posture and muscles. However, from 2020 onwards, my health declined significantly. On top of my worsening IBS, I started having really bad spine pains, radiating to my head, chest and arms, and making me so tired I had to take several days of rest every time I went out. I started to catch every little virus I got in contact with, and had to avoid taking public transport the most I could. I was working from home, and walked a lot, so that was manageable, but it made me more isolated.
I saw several doctors, but even though they did blood tests and x-rays, they couldn't find anything and just assumed it was stress. After reading about EDS, I thought I might have that (since I am also hypermobile), and had to wait 7 months to get an appointment at Todai's hospital. However, on the day of my appointment, I got told that Todai only deals with EDS related to heart issues, and my tests were all normal, including my x-rays. That was in June 2022, and was the final straw, as it proved that even the most advanced hospital in Japan couldn't help me. By that time, I had to wear a back brace to do the most basic things, like laundry or going to the supermarket, and was taking painkillers every day. I had to stop working because I couldn't work on my computer for more than 2 hours a day. Obviously, no work=no money.
Coming back to Québec, I had to wait 3 months to get back on the public health system, and as of today (6 months after being back), I managed to get x-rays and MRI showing I have: discopathy (degenerative spine disk disease), osteoarthritis (degenerative joint disease), several herniated disks in my cervical region and pinched nerves due disks collapsing. Basically, I have the spine of a 70 year old. I have been referred to a physiatrist, but we all know that Québec's public health system is very slow. so God knows when I'll see one. Nevertheless, they found something, which is better than all the doctors in Japan who told me it was just stress. Japan sadly has a big culture of having to "endure" pain (mental or physical), and it shows in their medical system.
Due to the degenerative nature of the illnesses they found up to now, my health is constantly getting worse. I used to have good and bad health days, but now, I have more bad health days than good health days. I still take painkillers every day and wear my back brace to do normal tasks, but most days, these are not enough. I am trying to make the most of my "good" health days by dressing up and doing nice things, but I never know how I will be the next day (or hour).
I had to take two breaks writing this; hopefully it makes sense haha
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Can't Keep My Hands to Myself
Pairing: Rhea Ripley x Reader
Summary: You tease Rhea when the two of you go out for dinner.
Warnings: smut, bottom Rhea, top reader, vaginal fingering
R
WC: 1002
"This is a pretty fancy place. Are you sure meeting the guys here is a good idea?" you joked as you looked around the restaurant. Dominick and Damian were dressed in fairly similar outfits as they waited at the table for you and Rhea to make your way over there. Finn was still nowhere to be seen at this point, but you knew that he'd show up sooner or later. He was often showing up a little bit late to these things, or so Rhea always told you. This was actually your first "team meal" with Judgement Day since unofficially aligning yourself with them.
"They'll behave if they know what's good for them," Rhea promised you. In the WWE, you had a certain image that you worked very hard to keep up outside of the ring. It was hard, especially since a lot of people automatically assumed you were an asshole because of it. They also made a lot of assumptions about your relationship with Rhea. You had seen quite a few people call you a pillow princess online, and they couldn't have been more wrong. Especially with Rhea.
"Let's just take our seats and try to have a good night," you said. Rhea followed you over to the table. She got your chair for you, receiving a kiss on the cheek as thanks when she finally sat down. Rhea looked smugly at Dominick and Damian. She really felt like she had won the lottery with you, which you didn't understand. The woman had people falling over at her feet left and right, but you were the one who she had worked tirelessly to impress. At first, you thought she had been joking about wanting you, so you hadn't given in. Now, you were glad that you gave her a chance.
Rhea fell into a conversation with the guys, which was when you took your chance to mess with her. You placed your hand on the inside of her thigh, tracing random little patterns as you scrolled through Instagram on your phone. Rhea's mind went somewhere else completely, and you knew the exact place it had run off to. You subtly smirked to yourself as you began tracing the words that you had spoken to her the night she won the Rumble. Each of those absolutely filthy comments that had rocked Rhea to her very core that night were being traced across the thin fabric of her pants. You leaned forward just a little as you let your hand press into the inseam of her jeans.
"Rhea, do you think you can come hold my bag while I go to the bathroom?" you asked innocently. Rhea swallowed as she nodded. You very elegantly and easily got up from your seat, but Rhea was not so fortunate. She could be a bit clumsy sometimes because of the sheer amount of space that she took up, but Rhea was causing a little bit of a scene in the restaurant as she stumbled her way behind you. The two of you moved quickly into the bathroom and into one of the bigger stalls towards the end. "Now, you've got to be quiet because we're not by ourselves right now."
"What are you going to do to keep me quiet?" Rhea challenged. It was as close to a "make me" as she could get without being punished. You glared at her as you slapped one hand over her mouth. It was a bit harder than you meant it to be, but Rhea didn't complain. If anything, her eyes lit up a little at how rough you were being with her. You were never like that in public. She felt like she had done something to make you break, which she thought was something to be proud of. The day Rhea truly made you "break" in public probably wouldn't go anything like this.
"You are such a fucking brat sometimes Rhea. If I didn't want to feel all of that cum dripping down my wrist, I'd make you march out there and sit through dinner without anything at all," you told her. Rhea whimpered a little as your hand moved into her jeans. You maintained eye contact as your fingers teased and touched her a little bit. Rhea's eyes tried fluttering shut a few times, but you'd always squeeze at her jaw a little to get her to open them. "Keep looking at me or I'll stop."
Rhea nodded in understanding. You thought that Rhea's eyes were absolutely gorgeous and loved getting lost in them. More than that though, you liked seeing the way they'd roll back into her head when you started fucking her. Rhea's eyes were easily one of her most expressive features. Everything she had learned to hide on her face or in her words were always right out in the open with her eyes. You could see how each movement of your fingers brought her closer to the edge of bliss before shoving her right off of it. You liked going on her eyes rather than the noises being muffled by your hand. Rhea could get as loud as she wanted, but it was always the same look of light in her eyes suddenly going dark that told you when she came.
"Fuck," Rhea panted as she pushed herself up from the wall. "My makeup is probably fucked."
"Just your lipstick, but I like how it looks. The guys might get upset if they see it though. I doubt they wanted me to come along just to fuck you in the bathroom," you laughed. Rhea walked out of the stall first to start fixing her makeup. You followed her to the sink where you washed her off of your hands. "You look good."
"I always do for you." Rhea leaned over and gave you a kiss, which definitely re-smeared her lipstick just a little. You liked the hot goth look on her, but black lipstick was really a bitch to keep looking nice.
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My husband is a young, handsome, talented professor, he is serious, polite and funny, and I am not surprised that his female students (and perhaps his male students too) get wet at the sight of him.
Sometimes (like today) his female students start following him on Instagram from their public accounts full of half-naked pictures of them, or they write to him on Facebook trying to start some neutral topic and it usually ends the same way.
My husband giving me his phone: Write her something politely so that she leaves me alone. 😐😐😐
We laugh about it a lot and luckily it doesn't happen often due to my husband's withdrawn nature when it comes to strangers, if he doesn't feel like it you can't get more than one sentence out of him. 😂
I see all these girls at student university parties to which professors are also invited, and since my husband always takes me with him, I take the opportunity to wear my best dresses, touch my husband in front of them and chat with him, to which he always responds by giving me his full attention.
Walking past them and feeling those envious stares on me, ahhh. This is the taste of life.
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Han So-Hee in her own words.
I started writing this when I heard that Han So-Hee was rumoured to appear in Jungkook's upcoming MV for Seven. I love to explore the intersections between the world of kdrama/kfilm (which I have followed for some considerable time) with the world of music and BTS (which is a much newer love).
I haven't seen her in many roles but what I have seen convinces me she is someone who is working on her craft and constantly looking for ways to improve and deliver more for her audience.
After seeing her first in a supporting role in Abyss (2019), I've seen her with Song Kang in Nevertheless (2021) where she plays a sculpture student in a much more Bohemian world than we generally see in kdramas and then in My Name (2021) where she played a revenge seeking bad ass. She had to do a lot of physical training for the part and said that it was a habit that stayed with her.
"If I get hooked on something, I’m the type to do it no matter what anyone around me says. That’s one of the things I like about myself."
She isn't your average Korean actress. When she published photos of herself with tattoos she received a lot of public criticism in Korea but she has a clear philosophy to life which she is determined to stick to.
"I want to live youthfully while wearing, eating, and expressing what I like. As long as I don’t stray away from what’s ethical and moral, I want to live while expressing myself freely. Instead of being passive, I hope others also find their own spark and color to shine."
She loves and respects other women.
"There are so many cool unnis. I think people who live their life doing what they want are cool. ..........., since you only live one life, I want people to live while doing what they want. These days, I think people like that are the coolest."
She is serious about the people in her life and she is ready to express her love and support publicly. She is close to Song Hye Kyo and they often post for each other on Instagram. When Song Hye Kyo won the Baeksang Arts Best Actress Award for The Glory this year she was quick to post her congratulations on Instagram.
The two were set to star in the The Price of Confession together, that project seems to have been shelved but their relationship is still going strong. Song Hye Kyo recently sent a coffee truck to the set of Han So Hee's latest project Gyeongseong Creature.
Isn't it nice to see women supporting each other perhaps certain parts of the fandom could take a lesson from that.
I've seen people online compare Han So-Hee to Jungkook and having read her words, I don't think they are wrong. Both are unconventional individuals living in a strictly conformist society. Both are proud of what they call their stubbornness which I actually think is more about their being determined to live an authentic life on their own terms. Both seek to express publicly the love and support they have for the important people in their life. As such I think she is a good choice as a co-star for this music video.
It won't be her first time appearing in a Kpop MV. She appeared in SHINee's video for 'Tell me what to do' in 2016......
youtube
.....and to be honest if she is appearing in JK's video I hope he gives her more to do. It seems such a waste of a good actress to have her just strike a pose.
Quotes taken from Allure Magazine Interview as reported online.
Post Date: 04/07/2023
#jungkook#jeon jungkook#seven#days a week#han so hee#my name#nevertheless#SHINee#tell me what to do#song hye kyo#The Glory
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ʙʀᴏᴋᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴅᴇꜱ | ᴊᴊᴋ | ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜɪʀᴛᴇᴇɴ
◦ ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ :: mafia!jeongguk x mafia!female reader
◦ ʀᴀᴛɪɴɢ :: 18+
◦ ɢᴇɴʀᴇ :: mature content, angst, smut, mafia!au
◦ ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ :: 11.1k
◦ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ :: mc is a mouthy brat and jk knows exactly how to handle it, smut - slight choking, fingering, public sex, spanking ( minimal ), taunting and dirty talk, orgasm denial, slight degradation ( use of the term slut ), big dick!jeongguk, use of honorifics, unprotected sex, flirting in public, light violence, use of petname - baby
◦ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ :: not the past three chapters having some form of smut in it... I honestly love this chapter. when I wrote the first version of it, I used to reread it so often. if I ever had a man talk to me like that 😮💨 btw anyone remember when I used to write 2k chapters? HA. anyway, I hope you guys enjoy 💖
↠ ɴᴇxᴛ :: ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ :: ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪɴᴅᴇx ↞
This was the first time almost everyone was in the same place together. You tend to miss breakfast, not wanting to deal with Taehyung while you just woke up. It was a rare occurrence to experience. Hoseok was sprawled out on the couch in front of you, doing whatever pleases him on his phone. Jimin was sitting next to you. He was also on his phone, where you could see him scrolling aimlessly through Instagram. One of the few instances where you would miss having your phone. You wondered if it was locked in some drawer somewhere or if they even had it. That night already seemed so long ago. Jeongguk was to the other side of you before he decided to get up and head to the kitchen. And Seokjin was… Well, he was with Solar. Sat in one of the chairs directly across from the TV, Solar was happily placed in Seokjin’s lap, giggling away as he whispered filthy nothings into her ear. You stared down at your thumbs, absentmindedly playing with your shirt. It seemed as if no one else noticed these very public displays of affection. You didn’t understand how with the obnoxious sound of lips smacking against each other every other moment.
Jeongguk then let out a loud groan before the sound of the fridge door slamming followed. “Hyung…,” he whined like a child, causing you to glance at him. He slumped against the fridge with his eyebrows squished together, and his bottom lip jutted into a pout. A smile teased your lips before glancing over at Seokjin for his response. He paid the younger no mind. All his attention was on Solar as his fingertips played with the hem of her very short shorts. Jeongguk’s eyebrows now lowered, watching as Seokjin blatantly ignored him. “Jin!” He yelled, finally getting his attention.
An annoyed groan parted from Seokjin’s throat as he looked back at the other. “What?!”
“When are you going to go grocery shopping?” He asked as he stood up and walked back to the living room. “We need some food!”
Seokjin practically waved Jeongguk off by pulling Solar closer to him. “I’ll order something in a minute,” he said before kissing Solar’s neck.
“Ugh,” the man next to you groaned while leaning his head back on the couch cushion. You directed your attention to Jimin, whose eyes met yours. He scrunched his nose with disgust. “I’m so sick of eating out.”
It’s been a week since Solar has been here. Which also meant a week of you sneaking out of your own room to Jeongguk’s to escape the sounds of lovemaking late at night. You swore those two fucked more than bunnies. But it wasn’t only you that was affected. Hoseok has been sleeping on the couch for the past week as well. The first time you saw him down here, you almost shat yourself because he was only an odd lump lying on the couch. When he suddenly shifted you got startled and reacted like any sane person would — grabbing the closest object and throwing it at him. He groaned as one of the men’s heavy shoes hit him in the forehead, cursing your name. After that, you stopped going downstairs in the middle of the night for some water. And the last change due to Solar’s stay was ordering takeout for every meal. Seokjin was too caught up in his girlfriend’s presence to cook. In fact, every time he tried, he would get turned on by something Solar did and forget he was cooking, to begin with. When he almost caught the house on fire, Seokjin decided to skip the middleman and place an order. You didn't have a problem with Seokjin ordering out. You were always guaranteed a meal this way and didn’t have to fight anyone at the table. You were a foodie, so you enjoyed anything that made your tastebuds dance. But it seemed that your fellow inhabitants didn’t feel the same way.
“Right?” Jeongguk agreed as he plopped down next to you. “Everything tastes the same now. When are you gonna make us something?”
“It can’t be tonight, JeonJeon,” Solar cooed. Everyone pressed their lips together to hold back the giggle that desperately wanted to escape at his nickname. It prompted a glare from JeonJeon himself. “Jinniebear has a hot date tonight.”
Does this girl have a thing for cheesy nicknames?
You mouthed the name silently, eyebrows furrowing together as you wondered about the backstory that came with it.
“He sure does,” Seokjin boasted.
“Barf,” Hoseok suddenly said, repulsion spreading across his features. “Get a fucking room.”
Your eyes grew wide as you stared at the wavy-haired brunette. You’ve never seen Hoseok make such a face — eyebrows furrowed together and lips turned downward in a frown. And the fact that he cursed? Hoseok was full of surprises.
He glared at Seokjin boldly. “You have half of mine, so why don’t you use it?” He shifted his position to sit up straight. “You obviously don't have a problem doing so, despite me being in the fucking room.”
Seems like one too many nights on the couch turned sunshine into storm clouds.
“Oooh,” Jimin mused with a smirk, “looks like someone made Hobi mad.” You snickered to yourself, shaking your head. He’s such an instigator.
Seokjin returned the glare. “Watch it,” he warned through a clenched jaw, hand placed on Solar’s hip securely. “Don’t be jealous because you don’t have a beautiful lady with you every night.”
Hoseok stared at the man, the reason for his anger going right over the other’s head. He let out a scoff, shaking his head from side to side. “Oh, believe me,” he said as he stood up, “I’m far from jealous.” With that, he headed upstairs, leaving the awkward tension he created in the room.
You shifted uncomfortably in your seat before Jeongguk perked up. “So,” he drawled out, trying to cut the tension with a dull knife. “Dinner?” He turned his head to Seokjin. His main problem of the night was still unsolved.
Seokjin looked utterly annoyed, his eyes narrowing into slits as he looked at his younger. “I’m not cooking shit, so figure it out.”
“I’ll make something,” you said faintly as you glanced at Jeongguk. You watched his eyes flicker with excitement.
“No,” Seokjin deadpanned.
“What?!” You directed your attention to Seokjin, who was now glaring at you. As you opened your mouth to respond, the front door swung open.
Everyone looked towards the door as Namjoon and Taehyung walked in. Normally you would’ve looked away the second you realized who it was, but their appearance had a hold on you. They were both a mess with roughed-up hair and disheveled clothing. Taehyung looked the worst, having what looked like blood splattered on the left portion of his white button-down shirt. The blood traveled up his neck, and there was residue where it was wiped away on his cheek. He didn’t bother saying hello, muttering something to himself as he made his way up the stairs. No one questioned it.
“Hello everyone,” Namjoon said as he loosened the black tie around his neck. “What’s for dinner?”
“Jin isn’t making dinner because he has some hot date,” Jeongguk answered, putting air quotes around the last two words.
A smile teased at Namjoon’s lips as Solar gasped loudly. She glared at Jeongguk, “You know damn well I'm hot JeonJeon!”
“I swear to god if you call me that one more time I’ll—”
“And Y/N offered to make dinner!” Jimin quickly chimed in, saving Jeongguk from possibly making a huge mistake.
Your heart started to race as your eyes met Namjoon’s. He arched an eyebrow curiously. Your pinky started to heat up as your body reminded you of the trauma. You quickly slapped Jimin in the chest with the back of your hand, prompting a faint ow from him. You offered Namjoon a nervous smile as Jimin rubbed the inflicted area. “Y-Yeah I did, but I was quickly shut down.”
“By who?” He asked.
“By me,” Seokjin answered quickly and confidently. “I don’t need her to fuck up my kitchen.”
Your head whipped back towards Seokjin. “You don’t even know if I’ll fuck up your kitchen!” You were sick of the little one-off comments. Ever since you got here, he’s been nothing but a dick to you for no reason.
“Cooking is more than boiling some noodles, Y/N.”
He had such a pretentious tone. “Fuck off. I’ve been on my own for almost seven years. You think I got a body like this from some fucking ramen?” You prided yourself on your shape. It took a lot of training and healthy eating to feel comfortable in your skin, and being here caused changes that made you slightly insecure.
In your peripheral view, you caught Solar pressing her lips into a line. She had a comment she was holding back, and for her safety that was a wise decision.
“OK, so ramen and a few dry-ass pieces of chicken.”
You stared at the man, blinking your eyes a few times. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re such a—”
“I’ll allow it,” Namjoon said.
All eyes were directed to him with the same shocked expression. A collective “What?” spilled out of everyone’s mouth as they stared at their leader.
“I’ve had a long day, and honestly, the last thing on my mind is spending more money on takeout. So, Y/N, if you say you can cook, then go for it.”
“Yes!” Jeongguk exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. He was way too excited for a home-cooked meal. Shit, if all you knew how to make was a slice of toast, he would be happy with that.
Namjoon noticed Jeongguk’s eagerness and smirked slightly to himself. “I bet the fridge is empty. Thank you, Jeongguk, for volunteering to take her grocery shopping.” What kind of older brother would he be without a little teasing?
Jeongguk’s arms instantly dropped as his hopes for relaxing in the living room died in front of him. “No,” he drawled out in a hushed tone. Your brows furrowed as you looked over at him. “Anything but grocery shopping,” he mumbled quietly. Your look of curiosity turned into a glare. And to think you were excited to spend more one-on-one time with him.
Seokjin let out a loud groan. “My kitchen is gonna be a mess. I already know it.”
Your glare then directed to Seokjin. “Calm your tits. Your kitchen will be fine.”
“Yeah!” Solar suddenly said. “I’m sure what’s-her-face can cook well!”
“Y/N,” you said through a clenched jaw as you looked at Solar. And to think you were slightly excited to have another girl in the house, a potential friend even. Someone you could bond with and keep in touch with once you were out of this situation. You could never have enough friends. But she quickly proved to be one of those girls so obsessed with her man and their relationship that they didn’t even know what day of the week it was. Guess it’s just Chaeyoung for now. “It’s Y/N.”
Solar looked at you with a weird expression, clearly uncomfortable with how you addressed her. “Uh yeah,” she said softly, “Y/N.”
Namjoon clapped his hands together, startling Solar, but you were unaffected. You stared at the girl, boring a hole into her as her uncomfortableness continued to grow within her. Her eyes darted around before finally falling on Seokjin’s hands in her lap.
“Well, it’s getting late,” Namjoon said as he walked past the couch. “JK take the card and take her to the store.” Jeongguk let out a drawled-out groan as he threw his head back onto the couch cushion. “I don’t wanna hear it,” Namjoon scolded, “you’re the one who was complaining about food.”
Jeongguk quietly followed after you in the somewhat empty grocery store. It was late, and only a few customers were walking around. As you pushed the cart, glancing between the list Namjoon gave you before leaving and the food on the shelves, you kept getting peeks at your appearance. You let out a soft huff, slightly irritated. Because of a certain Jeongguk, you were insanely overdressed for the weather. You were already wearing his baggy clothing, and on top of that, he had you put on one of his sweaters, a black fitted cap, and sunglasses. Mind you, it was 8’o’clock at night in mid-April. You looked absolutely ridiculous and fought him every step of the way until he was forced to physically dress you. Shame on you for enjoying how he grabbed your wrist and pulled you around his room, ranting about how you were "so stubborn" and "didn’t know how to listen". It was good that he didn’t turn around to see the stupid smile on your lips from hearing his annoyed tone. "A brat through and through," he said to you. All a part of the plan to get manhandled just a little. You felt like he enjoyed putting his hands on you just as much as you enjoyed it. Something about him made you wanna test the waters often and see how far you could get before a big reaction.
You glanced over your shoulder to see how far he was from you. Only a few steps, but not paying any mind to you. “Namjoon was nice today,” you thought out loud. You were shocked when he gave you permission to cook and even more so when he told you to get the groceries. Supervised or not, you were expecting to never see the light of day again besides hanging out on the roof.
Jeongguk nodded silently. His eyebrowed squished together as he internally debated if he wanted to throw this bag of chips in the cart. “Yeah, normally happens when he doesn’t have to kill that many people.”
Your eyes widen a bit. Jeongguk stated it so casually that it forced you to remember that they were a gang at the end of the day. To think it’s only been almost two weeks since the failed drug bust. “Ah,” you feigned indifference. You were supposed to be used to this, after all. Even though this is the closest you've been to the mafia life in a few years. But as his statement fully settled, you gripped onto the cart handlebar a little tighter. Namjoon was a big man — he obviously worked out more than Jeongguk, and the fact that he was taller than him, who easily towers over you — didn’t seem to help. The cold and emotionless stare he gave you when he broke your pinky terrified you. Just picturing Namjoon standing over another person, beaten to a pulp, sent a chill down your spine. Not that you would ever let anyone know. You are actively making sure you’re on his good side.
“So the deal with those guys is going well, I assume.” You said as you put a couple of things into the cart.
Jeongguk instantly turned his head towards you. Namjoon mentioned that you were eavesdropping while having dinner, but he was so caught up in trying to get the image of Yeonjun’s eyes watching you acknowledge it. “Yeah,” he agreed quietly as he walked over to you. He tossed the bag of chips in the cart as he looked at you.
“That’s good,” you continued to walk as a playful smirk started to form on your lips. “I wonder how Yeonjun is doing.”
Jeongguk’s eyes narrowed at the back of your head, sucking his teeth. “Why? You into him or something?”
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped from your lips. You turned around, your eyes locking with Jeongguk's wide ones. It took him a few seconds before the realization sank in. His facial expression then dropped, rolling his eyes as he willingly walked into your little trap. “Shut up.”
“Why?” You giggled. “What happened to Mr. I’m-not-jealous, hm?”
“Fuck you,” he drawled out before passing you. His hand found the cart, pushing it alongside him as he turned down the aisle.
“It’s cute how you try to hide it,” you grinned as you looked at the back of his head. Your eyes traveled down to his shoulders, briefly admiring how broad they looked in his button-down jersey.
“Yeah yeah, what are you making for dinner?” He asked, trying to distract himself from his thudding heart. He wasn’t jealous, and he sure as hell wasn’t cute. What was with you making him feel this way?
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
“I didn’t ask you what you liked.” Your eyes met his. He stared at you, glaring while you offered him an innocent smile. You regained control of the cart again and pushed it until you reached the produce aisle.
“I think I should know since I have to eat it.” He argued.
“Then everyone would have to know, and it wouldn’t be a surprise,” you countered as you focused on the vegetables ahead of you. You were trying to remember which ones your mom used for the meal you wanted to make. Recently, you’ve been missing her tremendously, and eating this meal would soothe the ache in your heart.
“Or,” he purposed as he stepped in your line of sight. Your eyes trailed up his chest to his face where he offered you a grin. “You could tell me since I’m your favorite.”
You stared at him for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter. Jeongguk’s smile instantly dropped, and his gaze hardened. He said nothing funny. “W-Who ever said you’re my favorite?”
He scoffed loudly, arms folding over his chest. “C’mon, be real. Who could you possibly like more than me?”
After your laughter died down, you remained silent. You held his gaze, slowly watching as his eyes filled with worry. Was Jeongguk wrong? Do you really have an interest in someone besides him? Could it have been Jimin? You were sitting pretty close to him earlier. He felt crazy, overthinking every little interaction with his team members.
“So you guys only eat breakfast together? Not dinner?” You asked, changing the subject. You didn’t want to answer him, feeling like it would give him a huge head. Plus, he should know how you feel. It was painfully obvious, at least for you.
He called out your name, and the way he said your name sent a pleasant shiver down your spine. You moved past him to the produce, biting down on your lower lip as you felt his eyes following you. “I know you did not just avoid my question.”
“When I was younger,” you continued. You tried your best to ignore your back heating up from Jeongguk's glare as you grabbed a plastic bag and filled it with vegetables. “My father made sure we had a family dinner every night. Just me, him, and my mother. He used to send his men home for two hours just so we could have our privacy.” You felt your lips form into a small smile as bittersweet memories filled your mind. Your father wasn’t always an abusive dickhead. “I’m not saying we should do it every night since breakfast seems really important to Namjoon. Maybe like twice a week.”
You turned to face him, watching his once-narrowed eyes soften before taking the bag from you and putting it in the cart. The conversation of who your favorite is was far from over, but he’ll let it slide after noticing the glimmer of sadness in your eyes. “So dinner and breakfast on some days?” He asked as you turned around to start filling another bag of vegetables.
You nodded silently, observing each vegetable you grabbed until you felt a presence behind you. Suddenly, you were frozen, your heart rate increasing for a moment before you came back to your senses. Jeongguk was always so close to you, driving you damn near mad each time he was. But to be doing this in public? The few passersby could see his hips pressed against your backside. His thin tracksuit shorts barely do anything to protect you from feeling his bulge pressing into you. Excitement rushed through your veins, pooling in your lower regions. He leaned down a little, his head now aligned with your ear.
“You should get some of those,” he whispered, pointing to some random vegetables.
How could such a tiny interaction cause goosebumps to form over your skin — it was embarrassing. You didn’t even know what vegetable he pointed to, nor did you care. Your hand moved almost mechanically towards it to grab it and put it in the bag. He had to know what he does to you, he had to. His voice aided the tiny ball of arousal swirling in your lower abdomen. Your mind was wandering to the dirty side. Can you get arrested for fucking in a grocery store? You shook your head, physically trying to put those thoughts in the bin before continuing your previous conversation.
“If I'm going to be here and work with you guys, I think it would help us grow closer. The missions would go much smoother then.”
Jeongguk chuckled softly, a reaction you weren’t expecting. You looked at him, eyebrows squishing together as you tilted your head to the side. His smile lingered on his lips a little from your cute reaction. “If I'm being honest, I don’t think that would do much of anything.”
Namjoon was forcing himself to be cordial for Jeongguk’s sake. He kept up with this little lie, so maybe you would cooperate sooner. Namjoon only embarked on the more serious tasks. Nothing like a simple drug pickup, or a collection, so he wasn’t much to worry about. Now Taehyung was a different story. He was a hair-shy of being deadset on putting you in a grave. He was waiting for you to fuck up again so he wouldn’t have to hold back. If you died by his hand, it would be out of self-defense.
Jeongguk chuckled again, shaking his head from side to side as he grabbed the bag from you. “Yeah, definitely won’t help shit.”
Your eyes narrowed. You were being hopeful for once with these people, and he found it amusing? Like you said a joke? “Stop being so fucking negative,” you snapped, causing him to look at you with wide eyes. He soon mirrored your expression, his half-smile dropping in an instant. You walked to the cart, starting to walk away from him. "You're killing my fucking vibe. All I’m trying to do is help you guys here, and you find shit funny? Like it's not possible? Fuck you.”
Jeongguk stared at you for a moment before chuckling again. This one was slightly different than the last. Either way, you voicing how you felt was not a laughing matter. You opened your mouth, ready to fly off the handle and rip him a new one entirely when you felt his chest against your back again. You stopped walking while he placed his hands on top of yours, swallowing them completely. You glanced at the intricate ink that covered his fingers, leading up to the sleeve on his right arm. The familiar warmth of his breath hit the rim of your ear.
“I’ma need you to stop talking to me like that.”
His voice was low, and his tone was intimidating. He held so much power in that one sentence, so much command that it caused your body to flush with heat. The ball of arousal grew as your intimate area became warm. He was right earlier when he called you a brat. You enjoyed pushing his buttons and seeing what combination would make Jeongguk explode. A quality you both shared. But unlike him, you would have a limit and an urge to back down. He knew his place when it came to you, and he was going to make sure you knew yours. You’ll get your comeuppance either way.
“And if I don’t?” You asked, pushing back even though your voice fell to a whisper. If you were any louder Jeongguk was bound to hear the lust hidden behind your words.
He couldn't know what kind of hold he had on you. You couldn’t let him see how easily you could come undone just by a simple glance. Your question produced a low scoff from him, causing a shiver to run down your spine while tickling your ear. He then moved back a little as one of his hands left yours. You let out a small gasp once you felt his fingers wrap around your neck. Jeongguk’s intent wasn’t to cause any damage as he held your throat while tilting your head back. Your eyes soon settled on the fluorescent lights illuminating the store.
“You wanna rethink that answer?” He questioned with a little rasp.
The area between your legs suddenly ached as your eyes fluttered shut for a second. This man had you in a puddle and ready for the taking just from a simple question. You didn’t even care about the stragglers in the store. If he told you to, you would bend over and pull down these sweatpants in a second. The teasing between you two was no longer enough. You wanted to feel your walls stretch around him again. How you’ve managed to last this long without ripping each other’s clothes off was impressive. Your silence prompted another chuckle from him. He pressed his lips to the side of your temple briefly, leaving a gentle kiss behind before he removed his hand from your throat.
“That’s what I thought.”
You didn’t even have to look at him to know he was smirking. You returned your head to your normal position before watching him walk to the front of your cart. His fingers gripped the metal grids, pulling it alongside him and causing you to follow absentmindedly. Your brows furrowed as your lips formed into a pout. You were upset at yourself for letting him turn you on this much in public. You could feel the dampness of your panties as you walked. Fucking Jeongguk.
You only needed a few more items off the list before you joined the line to pay. You were quiet the entire time, too distracted by the ache between your legs. You knew you couldn't continue challenging him here. It would end with his lips on yours in some corner of the store, hands desperately pulling at the fabric that covered you both. Once Jeongguk paid, he took control of the cart, and you followed behind. You trailed behind him until you reached the car, where he popped the trunk and started to load in the groceries. You leaned against the side of his car, hands stuffed in your pockets as you watched him.
Jeongguk glanced over at you not once but twice before stopping briefly. “So you had me take you grocery shopping, and you won’t even help load the car?”
You looked at him before you shook your head. “Nope.” Payback for turning me on, you thought to yourself before turning around. You were going to walk to the passenger door before you were met with resistance.
Jeongguk tugged at the material of your hoodie gently. You glanced over your shoulder to look at him again. “Help me load up this car. I’m not gonna ask you again.”
“You didn’t ask me to begin with.” You said as you turned around to face him again. “If you asked me, maybe I would consider helping you.”
He stared at you for a moment before letting out a chuckle of disbelief. “I don’t remember you asking me to pay for this.”
“I don’t remember you asking me to make dinner, to begin with,” you countered.
Jeongguk’s eyes narrowed at you. What the hell came over you today? You were challenging him every chance you could get. He knew about your sharp tongue but figured he was excused from it. He assumed you wouldn’t try to test him as if he wouldn’t put you in your place. Your name fell from his lips, warning you.
And if you cared for warnings, maybe you would’ve reacted differently.
Your brow arched before taking a few steps towards him. You tilted your head back slightly to keep your gaze locked with his. You said his name, ensuring you used to same warning tone as he did.
He arched a brow amusingly, chuckling lowly as he folded his arms over his chest. Jeongguk looked away from you and towards the vacant parking lot. His tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek while the corner of his lips turned upward into a small smile. The signature Namjoon face looks way better on him. His eyes rested on you once more. “You’re really trying me again?”
“And if I am?” You asked as you tilted your head to the side, eyes sparkling with innocence. You did well keeping your composure, considering those same words rewarded you with a hand teasingly around your throat.
His eyes glanced down at your lips briefly, then continued to trail down your body before returning to your eyes again. All he did was nod his head a couple of times. With furrowed brows, he continued to put the groceries in the trunk without another word. A proud smirk formed on your lips as you returned to the car. Triumph filled you to the brim. You won against the infamous Jeongguk. Funny. To think just last week, he had the upper hand on you. You waited for him to finish, glancing over your nails absentmindedly. The trunk slammed suddenly, causing you to jump.
“Hey, the car didn’t do anything to you,” you said, but there was no response. You heard the subtle click of the car unlocking. You got into the passenger side as he got into the driver's.
The car ride was silent. It wasn't the kind of silence after you've used his shower and escaped into his bed. Or the kind when it's early in the morning, and you're both just enjoying each other's presence. This one was heavy and borderline uncomfortable. You shifted a little as he stared off at the road. Stillness. Was it possible your little fun went too far?
You took a chance, looking in Jeongguk’s direction. His eyes were glued on the road. He had one hand on the wheel while the other arm was propped up against the door, his hand rested against his mouth where his fingers hid a faint smirk. His silver earrings that lined his lobe glimmered gently in the low lighting, captivating your attention. Has he always had that many? Four hoops that lessened in size as they went up the lobe swayed slightly. He also had a double helix piercing towards the top of his ear. Your eyes continued to travel along his features, falling on his sharp jawline that led to his bare neck. Your thoughts were suddenly filled with you sitting in his lap, grinding your hips against his as you left red bruises on his sensitive skin. His breathy moans filled your ears as his hands gripped your hips to control the speed. You caught your lower lip between your teeth, feeling your core grow warm again. It didn’t help that his hair was pulled back into a messy bun. It was a style he wore often to keep his midnight locks out of his face. Minus the two to three pesky strands that always managed to escape, somehow making the style much hotter. How he managed to look good all the time was a sin in itself. Maybe Hoseok was right, and you were whipped.
“You’re staring,” he commented suddenly, pulling you out of your thoughts.
“And?” You responded, purposely keeping your eyes glued to him. “Now I can’t look at you?”
Your answer was met with quietness, provoking your bratty nature more.
“You never had a problem with me looking at you before.”
Silence again. Your brows furrowed, folding your arms over your chest as you directed your attention ahead, staring at the same thing he was.
“Say the word then, and I won’t even spare a glance in your fucking direction, your majesty.”
Something snapped in Jeongguk. That floss-like line you've been bouncing on since before you left finally popped. It was like poking a sleeping bear repeatedly, trying to see how many you could get in before the bear finally awoke. And it did, but you forgot the cave had no exit. Now you’re left to deal with the problem you've cultivated.
He let out a loud scoff. “You know what?” The car abruptly shifted to the right, pulling off to the side of the road where he parked the vehicle. Jeongguk took off his seatbelt and got out, closing the door behind him. Your brows squished together as you watched him walk around the hood, the headlights illuminating him in the darkness. He then reached your side, pulling the door open. “Get out.”
You looked at him, confusion further spreading over your face as you tried to process why he was doing this. “What?”
He didn’t answer. You were beginning to find this new habit rather annoying. He took a step closer to you and leaned into the car as you were about to respond. His body hovered over yours, your breath hitching in your throat as he unbuckled your seatbelt. He grabbed you by your sweatshirt, swiftly pulling you out of the car. You stumbled, your heart pounding in your chest and your core throbbing as you tried to get your footing. He never gave you the chance to, his fingers finding your throat instantly. He pushed your body against the back half of the car, causing you to gasp.
You. Fucked. Up.
He held your throat lightly, not enough to cause any damage, but enough to feel some pressure. He stared down at you, his eyes drinking in every inch of you. As you looked up at Jeongguk, you felt the same gaze that he gave you in the kitchen. Danger. Definite danger. Warmth began to spread from your core to your lower abdomen, feeling your walls clench around nothing. His grip on your throat loosened, and before you knew it, you leaned up and filled the gap between you two. As your lips pressed against his, you both shared a deep inhale. It’s been entirely too long since the last time you kissed. Your lips molded with his. He started off gently, your lips making him almost forget the reason he stopped the car. Your lips were always so soft against his —it could’ve put him in a trance. But the kiss grew deeper, hungrier, as you moaned into his mouth. His fingers tangled in your hair, your hands finding the hem of his shirt and slipping underneath the material. You felt his cool skin with your fingertips, admiring the subtle ridges from his defined abs. His tongue swiped your lower lip before entering your mouth, gliding past your tongue sensually. Fuck, why was he such a good kisser? His fingers gripped your hair tightly, pulling on it until the kiss broke. You groaned softly as you looked up at the sky.
“I’m so fucking sick of your mouth,” he growled through a clenched jaw. You inhaled sharply when you felt his lips leaving a trail of kisses over your jawline. “You think you can talk to me any way you fucking want?” He mumbled against your warming skin, making his way down your neck. When his lips found your spot, you gasped aloud, prompting him to linger over the sensitive area. He sucked and nibbled lightly, diminishing you to a puddle of soft moans and whimpers. Fingers still tangled in your hair, he slipped his free hand into your sweatpants. The way his digit ran over your damp clothed sex — teasingly slow, making your clit throb from the slightest brush by — made your face contort with pleasure.
His brow arched amusingly. “Ah,” he breathed, pressing his lips to your bruised skin, “so wet already?” He commented, making you whine in response as heat flooded your cheeks. He didn’t need to remind you how easily he turns you on. Quite rude of him, honestly. Jeongguk pulled your panties away from your core. Some resistance caused his member to twitch in his pants. He gathered some of your slick, using your juices to lube up your swollen clit. Jeongguk rubbed it side to side, causing a shiver to run through your body as you moaned out for him. Your eyes glued shut from the pleasure, reaching down to grab his wrist. You were so sensitive, your hips jerking against his finger as they circled your bud. It didn’t take long for the pressure to build in your lower abdomen, your moans becoming more frequent as you neared that edge.
He denied you the pleasure of release, pulling his hand out of your pants just as you were about to cum. He let go of your hair, causing your eyes to shoot open. You glared at the man ahead of you, and all Jeongguk did was smirk as if he was full of pride. That little… His hand grabbed your hips, turning you around before pressing you against the car again. He pulled your hips back into him, feeling his hardened length through his sweatpants as he pressed his hand against your lower back. You let him bend you as he needed, putting an arch in your spine. You suddenly felt a breeze on your ass, followed by his cold hand. Your pants and underwear hung around your ankles, exposing yourself to him. He squeezed your cheek before lightly slapping it, watching it ripple as you yelped, then hummed with delight.
“Got nothing to say now, huh?” He taunted while slapping your ass again.
You held in your sound of pleasure as your brows furrowed. “So, before you didn’t want me to make a sound, and now you want me to talk?” You glanced over your shoulder at him. “Make up your fucking mind.”
It only took a few seconds for you to regret your response entirely. Jeongguk's eyes narrowed at you, and you knew you were in deep shit. You quickly stared ahead, trying to avoid his piercing glare. You then felt his length slap against your ass. It felt hard, way harder than what you remembered. He slid his length between your lips. You mewled as he coated himself in your wetness, jumping a little every time he brushed by your aching clit. Jeongguk leaned forward, wrapping his hand around your neck again before pulling you back until your body was against his.
“This is what you fucking wanted, right?” He said as he lined his tip with your entrance. He pushed into you achingly slow. You both moaned in satisfaction as you stretched around him inch by inch until he bottomed out. Your velvety walls encased his member like you were made just for him. You were so wet and ready for him that he slid in easily. Your knees could go weak just from feeling him inside you again. Then he slowly pulled out until only the tip was left before pushing back in. It took a few strokes for you to get adjusted. It had been a while since you had him inside of you, but once you were accommodated, he picked up the pace.
“Is this why you talk back so often?” He questioned through a clenched jaw. Fuck, did he always sound this hot when he was angry? His voice was low, and his tone was filled with an edge. You loved Jeongguk's normal voice — oddly comforting, deep, and warm — but hearing him when he was angry? A different level of hot. “Cuz you wanted to feel this cock inside you again, huh?”
Yes, a thousand times yes.
If this was all you had to do — piss him off until he had no other choice but to fuck some sense into you — you would’ve done so a while ago. You would’ve pushed his buttons that first day. Then you would’ve pushed them every chance you got after that. You would’ve been getting hate fucked against that raggedy ass bed every single night. Oh, the opportunities you’ve missed out on. His hips snapped into you hard, keeping a steady pace as your moans filled the surrounding area. Your eyes shut as if it was going to help manage the pleasure. He loved hearing those pretty sounds coming out of your mouth, just for him. But as pretty as they were, he was waiting for something specific. His hand squeezed your throat. “Answer me,” he growled into your ear.
You gasped. The pleasure washed over your mind so intensely that it was left fogged. How could Jeongguk expect you to answer him when he was buried inside you? You opened your eyes for a moment, bringing some sense of clarity. You had to weigh your options carefully. If you say yes and admit the truth, he might take pity on you. You didn’t need his pity. What was the worse he could do? Make you so sore that it hurts to walk? Psh, that’s nothing. You were pretty sure you could handle it. What’s walking around like an old-school cowboy for a couple of days? He rammed into you, his patience being tested too much for his liking. You yelped again, his tip applied so much pressure to your cervix that your body shook involuntarily.
“N-No,” you moaned out. “I-I could’ve waited longer. Your dick isn’t that good.”
He scoffed. “Oh really?” He let go of your neck and pushed you back down. Your hands pressed against the car window, partly holding yourself up. How much of a masochist were you? “I didn’t know you were such a filthy liar.” Your walls clenched around his length. You didn’t expect how he was talking to you to turn you on so much. Was it because of Jeongguk himself, or was it because somewhere deep down you enjoyed being degraded? Whatever it was, you loved every second of it. He grabbed onto your hips tightly, stabilizing you as he thrusts into you ruthlessly. Your moans grew so loud that you wouldn’t be surprised if people miles away could hear you.
His cock was so good, repeatedly hitting that spot in your walls that made your eyes roll into the back of your head. You felt the pressure in your lower abdomen continue to build. Your walls clenched around him again, preparing you for the incoming release.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Jeongguk spat. He continued to thrust, pushing you closer to that edge until you suddenly felt empty. You let out an audible gasp, feeling that familiar pressure in your abdomen as it began to diminish. “You don’t get to cum when you talk to me like that.”
Jeongguk continued to pump his length behind you, marveling at how your ass perked up just for him. He placed his free hand on your flesh, palming it. You whined, feeling at your wit's end. Your core throbbed for a release. If this is what being a smart ass got you, forget it. Being denied twice was more than you could handle.
“Please,” you mewled shamelessly. All forms of fight and sass left your system. At this point, all you could think about was your orgasm. “Please let me cum, sir.”
Jeongguk’s cock twitched in his hand. Not once has he been called ‘sir’ before. “Sir?” He mused, reaching down to cup your heat. His fingers rubbed back and forth, catching your clit each time. You trembled as you pressed your hips into his touch, that pressure in your lower abdomen quickly returning. “You gonna be a good girl for me?”
“Yes, sir.”
His fingers then stopped, paying direct attention to your bud as he rubbed it in circles. “You gonna cum all over this dick?”
You whimpered. The thought alone made your walls clench around nothing. “Yes, sir.”
A smirk plastered on his lips as he removed his hand and gave your ass a tap. He aligned himself with your entrance again. “That’s my girl.” He pushed in slow, causing you both to moan. As he resumed the pace he set before, it didn’t take long for you to keep your word. You came on his member, your velvety walls throbbing around him. He groaned loudly, gripping your ass tightly. He didn’t give you a break to let you calm down from your orgasm, riding you through it. You felt too good for him to stop. He turned you into a whimpering mess as a second high built up right after.
You throbbed around him once more, causing a soft chuckle to leave his lips. “Another one already?” He asked, smugness coating his words as he smirked. “What happened to your dick isn’t that good?” You groaned in defeat, knowing he would make you eat your words. His thrusts pushed you into another orgasm, praising you though he still didn’t slow down for your sensitive walls.
This man was absolutely crazy.
Never have you had someone make you cum back to back. And as that pressure began to build up again, you regretted for a split second ever testing him. But it all felt so amazing, making you high off the cocktail of endorphins that pumped through your system. You subconsciously began to press yourself against the car. Your walls clenched around him again. You needed to move away from his thrusts that knew no mercy.
Jeongguk took notice of this almost instantly. He grabbed your hips before pushing himself into you fully. There’s that pressure on your cervix again. “Nuh-uh,” he teased as he pressed tour body against yours. You were pushed further into the side of the car. “Why are you running away from me?” He slid his hands up under your baggy shirt, holding you in place at your waist as his hips resumed snapping into you. Your eyes went cross for a moment before closing.
You were slowly trying to lessen the intensity by slyly moving away. But instead, you were rewarded with a new position. His tip now plowed into your cervix with each thrust. He placed a kiss on the crook of your neck. “Isn’t this what you wanted?” You moaned a yes. “You wanted to be slutted out on the side of the road for everyone to see?” You nodded your head quickly, your mind turning to mush as your body hyper-focused on the area between your legs. “Mm, who would’ve known you’re this naughty?” He then reached his hand in between you and the car. His finger found your clit where he rubbed it side to side in sync with his thrusts. That’s all it took to throw you over the edge again. Your body shook violently, knees threatening to give out as you experienced the most intense orgasm you’ve had. Your cum drenched your thighs as you whimpered out for him.
“Oh fuck,” he groaned out suddenly before pulling out. He didn’t expect your orgasm to push him into his own. His hands disappeared from you, stroking his length before he let out a loud groan. You felt his warm seed sprinkling across your ass, making you hum softly. You wished you could feel him cumming inside you again, filling you up so much that it leaked out as soon as he pulled out. You rested your head against the car as you heard some rustling. You were completely and utterly fucked out. He could ask you what time of day it was, and you would answer morning despite being surrounded in darkness.
You suddenly felt the rough texture of a cheap napkin on your ass as he wiped up his mess. “You couldn’t find something softer?” You grumbled, feeling extra sensitive everywhere.
He chuckled softly, crumbling the used napkin in his hand before turning you around. He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, mumbling out a soft ‘sorry’. While Jeongguk pulled your underwear and sweatpants up, your gaze caught his. His eyes were sweet and doe-like again. The half smile he offered you made your stomach do a flip. And the way he cupped your cheek so gently — despite the fact he just used the same hand to leave a mark on your ass — before pressing his lips to yours made your heart skip a beat. You melted into him while your knees finally gave out, prompting him to quickly wrap his arm around your waist to hold you up. You both couldn’t help but giggle into the kiss as your arms wrapped around his neck lazily. He pulled away and helped you into the car before getting in himself.
He gave you such tender and careful touches that it made you snicker. He was always gentle with you afterward. It was funny, considering he released a whole new side tonight. A dominating and rough side that made your heat throb from the thought of a round two, even if you were in no shape for it.
“Do you wanna get something small before we head out?” Jeongguk asked, pulling you out of your thoughts.
You nodded as your eyes shut for the moment. You cursed at yourself mentally, remembering that you still had to make dinner after this.
“Want McDonald’s?”
It was dark outside, late into the night. Chaeyoung glanced at her phone screen, the blue light illuminating her face as she double-checked the address sent to her. She has never been to your father’s building — there was never a need for her to know what it looked like due to your immense hatred towards the man. She had the feeling you wanted to separate her from that part of your life, and you would do anything you could to keep it that way. There were times you pushed her into your closet due to an impromptu visit from him and his men. Whenever he would call you, you would either ignore him or leave the house to take the call. When you told her he had passed, she wasn’t stunned by your ecstatic demeanor but more by the fact that she never even got the chance to meet him officially. The difference between families was a cultural shock. You were practically adopted into her household with how often you visited Chaeyoung. Her parents loved you, her brother loved you, and the only family you had left didn’t even know she existed.
She glanced up at the building and compared it to the image on her phone. The pictures looked similar enough, despite the drastic difference between day and night. Either way, she stuffed the phone in her pocket and pushed through. She cautiously approached the door, pushing on the stiff object once before realizing it was locked. Chaeyoung cursed softly to herself, reaching for her phone once again and looking for a specific text. She turned to the keypad and enter a four-digit code.
“Why are there so many codes?” She mumbled to herself before hearing a confirmation beep and walking in. The inside of the building was dimly lit by the soft glow of the computers that apparently stayed on throughout the night. It was almost eerie with how quiet the building was. The only thing she heard was the soft thuds of her converse leading her to the elevator. She had no idea why they insisted on meeting at night. It’s not like she was a secret to them, and she was certain the employees here wouldn’t care much for her presence.
As she waited for the elevator to deliver her to the floor specified in the text instructions, you emerged in her mind for a moment. The corners Chaeyoung’s of lips turned downward. The last time she saw you was when Yunho was dragging her away. It was a quick glance, catching only a sliver of you behind Mingi’s stature. She pressed the man for answers, and he only repeated how much you needed to keep her safe. You were so concerned about Chaeyoung’s safety that you forgot to prioritize your own. She worried and hoped that you would make it home. She slept in your bed for days, but that front door never opened. The moment when you stumbled through the hall, beaten and bruised but alive, to meet her with that weak smile and probably some snarky comment about how your bed smells like her now never came. Chaeyoung’s heart sank. All she desired was that you were alive.
She walked down a dark hallway, seeing a room emitting light towards the end. As she walked inside, she saw the three faces that were beginning to grow familiar to her. Chaeyoung never really hung out with your bodyguards. She only heard of them through stories. The last night she saw you was the second time that she's been around your friends. She would hope that you’d be happy she’s developing a friendship with them.
“Short stuff!” Yunho beamed.
She hated that nickname, but still, this was for you. Her lips pressed into a small smile as she waved at the men.
“Any reason why you couldn’t meet in the day?” She asked, sitting in the empty chair next to Wooyoung. From there, she noticed another man in the room with them. He was unrecognizable to her. Was he a part of your crew? She could’ve sworn that there were only three men you mentioned. Even though the man was boring a hole into the Chaeyoung, he never uttered a word. He never offered a smile. He was like a stone statue. Chaeyoung wasn't even 100% sure he was breathing.
“It’s too risky in the daytime,” Mingi answered simply. He leaned back in your father’s chair, placing his feet upon his chestnut desk. “Employees have been running around like headless chickens since Y/N got kidnapped.”
Chaeyoung figured that. You did mention having to run a few things and tidy up a few ends before you could leave. But she never would’ve thought that without you the place would be in shambles.
“What you got for us?”
She reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone. She scrolled through a few pictures before stopping at a particular video. Chaeyoung handed the dark-haired man the phone as she looked at him. Mingi then took the phone in his hand and played the video.
“One of my friends works at that club where it fronts as a restaurant. She was filming a live right before the shooting broke out.”
Mingi let out a skeptical hum, wondering where Chaeyoung was leading with this. So far, it seemed like a waste of time. The woman on the screen was talking about her favorite lipstick before he heard the familiar sound of rounds beginning fired. Panic flooded the woman’s features in an instant. And instead of running, as most people did, she only fell back while the camera flipped to her surroundings. Just as he opened his mouth to protest against Chaeyoung’s “ground-breaking” news, he caught a familiar face. Your familiar face. You were holding something close to your chest as you looked around frantically. Then, a man emerged from a room behind you and aimed his weapon at you.
“Hey isn’t that Jackson?!” Yunho commented as he watched the video over Mingi’s shoulder.
“Yep,” was all Mingi responded as he sent the video to himself. He placed Chaeyoung’s phone on the desk, prompting her to grab it.
“So,” Chaeyoung said softly as she looked at the men. That namedrop meant absolutely nothing to her. “What are we gonna do now?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?!” Chaeyoung repeated, raising her voice a little. Everyone’s gaze fell onto her, including Mingi’s piercing eyes. Though she was slightly intimidated, she held her ground. “You know this guy, right? Why aren’t you on the phone with him right now trying to see where she is?”
“Because that doesn’t concern you,” Mingi said as he took his feet off of your desk. “We—”
“Like hell it does!” Chaeyoung yelled, now standing up. “That’s my best friend, and you guys seem way too fucking chill over this newfound information. The person you claim to adore has been missing for over a month now! Yet you still show no sense of urgency. Instead, you’re just playing big boss in her office while she’s going through god knows what!”
Mingi’s face twitched. He didn’t like being yelled at, especially if the person is a foot shorter than him. He stood up from your desk slowly, eyes glued to the woman in front of him. Despite feeling the sudden urge to run away, Chaeyoung held her ground. “You feel better now that you got that off your chest?” Mingi asked.
Chaeyoung didn’t respond, didn’t move an inch, she just stared up at the man whose eyes were filling with hatred within each second that passed. This couldn’t be the same goofball, blabber-mouth, Mingi that you always raved about.
“Good,” he responded without an answer, “now get out.”
“W-What?! No! I need to—”
Suddenly, Chaeyoung's feet were off the ground. Her shirt was crumbled in Mingi’s hand as he pulled her close to him. Her body pressed against the desk uncomfortably as Mingi’s face was now inches from hers. Just as quickly as she realized she was raised in the air, she was tossed to the ground. She landed on her wrist, wincing slightly from the pain before looking up at the man.
“Get out.” He repeated.
She glanced at the other two men for help, only to be met with the top of their heads. Their eyes were glued to the floor, avoiding eye contact with her. They didn’t want to be the next target for Mingi’s rage. Filled with utter disbelief, she scoffed loudly. Her eyes landed on Mingi, glaring at him as she pushed herself off the ground. She dusted off her backside before turning around and leaving, but not without promptly flipping Mingi off. Her angry footsteps carried her towards the elevator. It was up to her and solely her to find you now. The only other people close to you seemed to not care about where you were, at least not as much as Chaeyoung.
The air was uncomfortable in the room after Chaeyoung left. Mingi’s jaw was clenched as his phone began to ring. After answering it, a man on the other end spoke to him. Mingi only hummed in agreement before hanging up. He looked at the other three men in the room, only one of them meeting his gaze with pure curiosity.
“Let’s go.”
“Mmmm,” Jeongguk let out a satisfied hum as he leaned back in his chair. He had one hand on his stomach while the other reached up into the air in a half-assed attempt to stretch out his body. The position caused you to giggle as you reached for his empty plate in front of him. “Y/N, I didn’t know you could cook like that.”
“Yeah, seriously!” Jimin chimed in as he stood up. He began to help gather the rest of the plates left on the table. “All this time you’ve been here, and you’ve been holding out on us?”
“Seokjin hates me,” you stated as you put the stack of dishes you collected in the sink. You didn't know if that was necessarily true — he was kinda nice to you when they had the dinner meeting — but it sure did feel that way. “Why would you think he would let me into his kitchen?”
“I don’t know,” Jeongguk answered before he got up from his chair. He properly stretched out his body, failing to hold back the small shriek accompanied by pulling his muscles. “But you got Namjoon’s approval, which means he’s probably gonna let you cook more.”
“Oh fun times,” you said sarcastically, earning a playful elbow from Jimin.
After your short McDonald’s run and a small argument with Jeongguk about helping carry in some of the groceries, you finally were able to cook. The meal was simple and something your mom used to make for you often as a child. The aroma brought back so many blissful yet painful memories. You were glad everyone — well, almost everyone — enjoyed it. You even got a compliment from Namjoon. You didn’t know he was capable of giving those. Everyone left the table once they were done eating. Everyone had nothing but good things to say about your meal. Jimin and Jeongguk stayed back, mainly because Jeongguk was trying to get a third serving.
You were about to start washing the dishes, but Jeongguk quickly grabbed the sponge from you and bumped you with his hip to move you out of the way. You almost would have argued with him if it wasn’t for the door opening and grabbing your attention. Three heads glanced towards the sound, only to be met with a glare. Taehyung sucked on his teeth as he closed the door behind him. A bag of leftover takeout was in his hand, the items shaking slightly as he took heavy steps toward you. You mirrored his stare, challenging him in this silent intimidation tactic. He insulted your meal earlier, refusing to eat it because if he "wanted to die, he would just have JK shoot him". Needless to say, he was excused from the table.
“So, how was your dinner?” Jimin asked, trying to clear the painfully obvious tension between you two. You and Taehyung have been blessed by the graces of Namjoon. He would make sure you two are never in the same place. Even when you're both at home, one is usually upstairs in a room while the other is socializing with the members. Everyone seemed to understand that you two shouldn't be left alone together for his sake.
“Amazing,” Taehyung replied with eyes still glued on you. “How was the slop Y/N made?”
You sucked your teeth, rolling your eyes as you turned away from him. Slop. How dare he. You should have smacked him for even thinking such a sentence, let alone having the balls to say it.
“It wasn’t slop,” Jeongguk quickly retorted. He didn't give you the chance to think of a reply. “It was actually really delicious. You missed out.”
Taehyung snorted, “Highly doubt it. Why should I trust a word you say?”
Jeongguk raised his head slowly before he looked at the other man. A different type of silence took over for a second.
“What?” Jimin asked as his eyes glanced between the two. “What do you mean by that?” You were wondering the same thing.
Jeongguk’s hands stopped washing the dishes momentarily as he stared at Taehyung, almost daring him to answer the question. Taehyung tried to keep his composure as long as he could, but his gaze was akin to Namjoon’s. There was only so much he could handle before being forced to submit.
He let out a deep sigh, directing his attention to the fridge, where he haphazardly threw his leftovers in. “Nothing,” he said dryly as he slammed the fridge door closed. The items in the fridge shook, causing you and Jimin to glance at each other.
Jeongguk resumed washing the dishes as you and Jimin exchanged a look. Anyone could tell that was bullshit, and something was happening between the two that only they seemed to know about. Taehyung headed towards the stairs without another word, causing Jimin’s face to fill with worry.
“Um,” Jimin almost whispered. “I’m gonna head to bed.” He didn’t wait for a response from you two before heading after Taehyung.
You looked to Jeongguk, hoping he could provide some sort of context to whatever the fuck just went down. But he didn’t spare a glance towards you, just finished off the rest of the dishes before pulling off his gloves.
“What happened just now?” You asked as you finished drying off the rest of the plates.
Jeongguk turned around to face you, leaning against the sink before crossing his arms over his chest. “Nothing.”
Your face went blank as you looked at him. “Nothing?” You repeated, and he nodded his head. “I’m not dumb, Ggukie, I know it was something.” It’s the second time he brushed you off, and you were not fond of that. You just had sex, for fuck sake. The least he could do was keep you in the know.
Jeongguk’s heart instantly started to race. Though the tone was borderline serious, that was the first time his nickname fell from your lips. You’ve heard his other members call him that sometimes, and you thought it was a cute nickname. It felt natural as you said it, and you didn’t even realize you did until there was a pause in the conversation. A smile curled onto his lips, big and goofy. His smile showed how butterflies erupted in his stomach as his heart raced a mile a minute.
“Jeongg—mmf!” Before you could finish saying his name, you felt his lips pressed against yours. He placed his hand on the small of your back, pulling you closer and securing you in place. Your hands rested on his shoulders, returning the kiss before he pulled away.
“It’s nothing, baby.” There goes that word again. He placed his free hand on the side of your face. “Nothing you need to worry about.”
You hummed, slightly unsatisfied by his answer but too distracted to fight it further. One kiss from him, and suddenly you had a one-track mind.
“Come on,” he then pressed a kiss against your forehead. “Let’s go to bed, it’s been a long day.” You nodded in agreement. You would love nothing more than to crawl into bed and cuddle up next to Jeongguk right now. But you knew that wasn’t going to happen. Instead, he was going to take you to your bedroom, kiss you good night, then leave you alone with your thoughts. It wasn’t fair, but that was how it had to be.
You stole a glance, his eyes meeting yours with a glint of desire. Oh, how you wanted to swim in those pools of dark brown all night. You found yourself leaning in and attaching your lips to his. You couldn’t help yourself. He was always so tempting and kissed you like it was going to be the last time when you both knew it wasn’t.
“We. Should. Go. To. Bed,” he said again during each small break.
“Mhm,” you hummed as a smile started to form on your lips. You stood on the tips of your toes, wrapping your arms around his neck as he slid his arms around your waist. You both knew you were going to be down here for a little while longer.
If only either of you realized the eyes witnessing your forbidden affection.
↠ ɴᴇxᴛ :: ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ :: ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪɴᴅᴇx ↞
#fic: broken codes#jeongguk smut#jeongguk fanfic#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#bts smut#bts fanfic#jeongguk mafia au#jungkook mafia au#bts mafia au#jeongguk x y/n#jeongguk x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x you#jungkook x you smut#jeongguk x you smut
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CRINGETOBER DAY 2: Self Insert
if i could insert myself into any world you bet your ass im going to nevada (just kidding id die in an instant but how cool would it be to see deimos in action?)
a story below about how this topic is actually all connected to my current favorite friendgroup atp
we wouldve never met if it wasnt for someone on the meme account, big_chungles on instagram (yes really!) who wanted to make a madcom themed account and were asking people to join as admins. a few days pass and i see an account named sanfordtits! i followed and had a few laughs for them for a while. and they announced their public server, so i decided to join it. and to my surprised i was dunked and candle wax that was cheese flavored and got cannibalized by kon and niko. (thanks kon for doodling the feast image.) there were a few major events in that server. i also met alfred in that server. yuck. anyways, there was a talent show and i performed osu mania there. it was soooo embarrassing since it didnt capture my audio and my osu was glitching and lagging so hard the judges werent able to even watch me play. niko won that talent show. we had some sort of rivalry-friendship thing going on and would bicker at eachother. (this is important later, i promise.) he was given the supertitter role since normal members were just named titters. i eventually got one myself, and zardy also got one too. due to being active members of the server, we would greet new members, talk alot yada yada alot of stuff. we were also thinking of doing a dating sim where i was one of the routes, and there was a lore behind it, i wont spoil it of course but i drew alot of stuff for it, and some writing which can be see on a doc here. there was also an fnf mod which you can actually see i had the sprites/concept art for it here. theres a lot! let me tell you that. and we had around 3 bgs, completed around 5 characters worth of sprites, a few music and charts done... until. i started to notice something, there was this admin where they babied and constantly praised just because they were a partner of another admin in the server. there was an art channel there right? i often post my art there along with others, and their pencil sketches would get way, way more attention than everyone else in the whole server. i bought this issue up with my friends and wanted their opinions on it, before calmly confronting the admins. and their reactions were not expected. they acted harsher towards us and called me a lying prick (?) i cant remember their exact words, but when i wanted to speak out against this behavior theyre doing and they wanted to shut me up as soon as possible. they were announcing that the servers getting shut down, and they were trying to ban me off of the server. admittedly i did something stupid and made a "kys challenge" joke to them which, well, they got mad at me for. i shouldnt have said something so vile back then. i was emotionally very immature back then. i hope theyre doing well now. i eventually got banned from their server, and they put me on blast on their instagram, which resulted in me losing a very close friend because their story captioned something like "these people harrassed my partners, theyre so gross, please block them" which.. well. youre kind of right but not really? we didnt harrass that person, only called out the admins.....childish behavior. although i did missacted and made a kys joke there too, so im not surprised on why theyre mad. i do take accountability for it. i cried for a bit. we were both wrong in this. but eventually made a new server for the people that were on my side. first it was named something like.. landfill? not exactly appealing, hehe. but it was eventually became bunkers, and its still my strongest bonds with my friends ever. and what a wild journey its been hm? if all of that never happened i wouldve never met the great friends i have today and my amazing loving boyfriend @woopdeloopei <33 (love you btw) its crazy how that spiraled but it all ended up pretty good in the end. a few of my friends got out of their depression and is happier now. i guess we matured! but seriously, so much history for such a small friend group. im so thankful for them right now. if it wasnt for that madcom admin on that meme account.... ah! i wouldve been just dead! thanks for reading all the way through the story!
#my art#digital art#madcom#madness combat#madcom deimos#deimos madness combat#deimos#deimos madcom#self insert#cringetober 2023#cringetober#sona art
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Jane Mattimoe (aka A Case for Pencils).
I've been interviewing mainly New Yorker cartoonists on here for close to nine (!) years, which is wild to think about! A lot has changed since I started this blog in 2014— back then, I had a broken wrist from a fall I had while working in a restaurant, and I didn't have the money for a laptop for months, so I would go to the New York Public Library to use their public use computers to work on Case during the daily half hour increments that were allowed at the time. I currently have a mostly working laptop and a fairly healthy wrist, which is a great improvement!
Here I am at my desk, repping the NYPL on my mug. I know it looks messy under my desk, but I promise all of those art supplies are neatly stacked!
I started this blog as a young baby artist who wanted to open up a world to people who might not otherwise have a chance to learn from some of the greatest living artists of all time. I never went to art school (I found it unaffordable), and knew there were plenty of folks out there like me who might not be able to go to classes, but who certainly deserved to hear from some of the top professionals in their field. Since I had known many New Yorker cartoonists for a couple of years at that point, I figured why not see if they will help me out? And, well... they did!
Doing this blog is a LOT of work, but it has been thrilling to hear many many young people (several of which that I have interviewed on here!) say that they learned a lot from reading it.
I don't put myself on here very often, so I thought I might take the time to talk about some of my more recent art projects. Above are some of my watercolor portraits. I have been working hard on trying to achieve more luminosity in skin and watercolors are a beautiful tool for achieving that. The key is lots of layers and lots of patience!
To the left is a recent painting I did of some ruins. Again, my goal is create light. The painting to the right is a pet portrait that I did a couple months back.
I've been learning lots of new crafts. To the left is a bird house that I painted using the cheapest acrylics possible. Usually with art supplies, cheaping out is disastrous, but for some reason, 80 cent acrylics seem to be working out for me? If you are an acrylics artist, please feel free to tell me why I'm wrong to use them. I also have been having fun with decoupage (photo on the right), which is basically using special tools to glue fancy tissue paper etc. onto various objects (I've slowed down on this a bit because I've run out of things to cover in decorative paper).
I've been having a lot of fun making decorative objects—I feel that it is important to make beautiful things for yourself when you're an artist. Having pretty things doesn't have to be expensive if you make them yourself, and they become keepsake items. I made this little gingerbread garland pictured above by cutting out felt and frosting it with fabric paint.
I've also been having lots of fun with sewing. This is a two piece set that I made recently. It's really fun to be able to think of something I would like to wear, and make it! Sewing is a different kind of art for me—with painting, I am in a strange incoherent state. But with sewing, I am following all sorts of instructions, and thinking about it in a far less abstract way. It's definitely a different usage of my brain, which has made it a fun challenge.
I hope you all are doing well, and learning new ways to make art! I appreciate all of the support over the years, and hope to continue this blog for quite a while longer. Thanks for reading!
You can find my Instagram here, my website here, and Twitter here!
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If you enjoy this blog, and would like to contribute to labor and maintenance costs, there is a Patreon, and if you’d like to buy me a cup of coffee, there is a Ko-Fi account as well! I do this blog for free because accessible arts education is important to me, and your support helps a lot! You can also find more posts about art supplies on Case’s Instagram and Twitter! Thank you!
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WOM - September 1997
Interview with Till for WOM. The scans and article were shared by @rammsteinhistory on their Instagram page.
Till Lindemann's slightly irritated expression speaks volumes: Interviews are not one of the Rammstein frontman's favorite pastimes. The former European runner-up swimming champion and single father would probably prefer to swim laps in the outdoor pool or take care of his daughter. The former basket-weaver complains that he is asked about his texts so often that he runs out of vocabulary, and he is often misquoted. The " flambéed man" (STERN) still had to answer our employee Henning Richter's questions.
Did you feel you had a special responsibility when you started the new album?
More excitement than responsibility, because the pressure of expectations was very high, the sales figures speak for themselves. Reaching or exceeding this level will be difficult.
Under what conditions was the album created? And what makes it different from its predecessor?
We didn't have any arguments at all, it was relatively harmonious, which is unusual, since we usually have tough fights. Everyone tries to assert their position. Through the stress and hate of the first few albums, we had a foundation of experience and warmth that made things run more smoothly. The recordings were made in Malta, where the climate is fantastic. What I wanted to free myself from is gone, it's in the first record. Now I'm looking underneath, now there's something thinner, more filigree and more emotional. That applies equally to the lyrics and the music: today I go more into the finer points.
STERN has described your texts as « ghastly tales »...
German texts are usually pretty flat. I wanted to do better, which on the one hand was successful, but on the other hand naturally provoked questions. I usually get the music for a new song on a four-track tape from my colleagues and listen to it very loud at home. Either I follow my first impression, or I have to listen to it 20 times in a row, then it becomes very difficult.
So the music creates aggressive images in you?
Yes. However, the new songs like "Sehnsucht" are a bit softer, this is about wanderlust and not about violence. With "Seemann" on the first album, something very sad came to my mind, and with the music of "Weißes Fleisch " I immediately thought that it was someone who is mentally ill and is attacking a minor.
Do you actually understand the accusations that you were politically on the right?
We didn't expect it and didn't get it at first. In the meantime the pressure has become so strong that we have to start dealing with it. But we don't want to apologize either, because none of us knows what for. You try to understand it, but you can't. That's why you can't comment on it. Someone should just tell me where he sees the political right in our country. It's always just scratching the surface because they want to pee on our legs. All I can say is let the facts speak for themselves, for example our band chronicle: We've been on tour with the Ramones, with Project Pitchfork and Clawfinger. We are played in heavy rotation on VIVA, we have a good relationship with Die Ärzte, these things speak for themselves.
How would you classify yourself politically?
Actually, I'm completely apolitical. I find it incredible that they want to ban me from talking about child abuse. I have a daughter who is potentially at risk. It happens left and right, that's a fact, everyone knows it. But many don't want to talk about it.
Of course, one can argue about the form in which you do this. Anyone who goes public has to live with criticism.
That's right.
Are your lyrics and your martial demeanor also a late protest against the authoritarian GDR system?
Not necessarily a protest, but now it's pouring out. None of us took to the streets energetically at the time. But that remains subconscious. Now you can do anything and say things like “I want to fuck” or “I hate you” and it even plays on the radio. On the other hand, it seems a bit like it used to be, only with the difference that they can't pick you up anymore.
In the magazine PRINZ you were described as a « social-democratic version of the Böhse Onkelz ».
I don't want to comment on either the first or the second word.
Why did you actually adopt your jagged stage choreography and these pithy Teutonic gestures? And who had the idea to make your stage show so pyromaniacs?
I wanted to avoid idling on stage. Others dance or hold on to the mic stand — that doesn't go with our music because it's very static. I always stood in front of the microphone like an idiot and thought I was incredibly shitty. Then came two fountains, then four, then one effect after the other, which has now become a bit of an addiction. Music for the ears and the pyros for the eyes, for me that's the parsley on the chop. Of course you have to be careful not to turn it into a circus. If I roll my eyes or bang my head with the mic, it’s a support of what I'm trying to convey right now. When I use such gestures or shoot an effect, I just feel good about it.
Skins and Nazis also come to your concerts. Are these the wrong fans for you?
In any case. I've just never seen any. In a hall where more than with 1,000 people hanging out, there will always be rights. I'm sure they're also running around at Die Ärzte, Toten Hosen, Ramones and Bad Religion. You can't do anything about it. With us, they are only welcomed and recognized immediately by the media. If we knew how, we wouldn't let them into our concerts. But how are you going to recognize them? For example, our tour manager has the task of coming onto the stage immediately when fascists show the Hitler salute. Then I stop the concert and wait for these people to be removed.
Did your huge record sales actually make you rich?
It's different than before, but what is rich? We are a GbR (“corporation under civil law”), the money that flows is powdered into the next show. The autumn tour will be even bigger and have even more effects. Our show is incredibly expensive. We don't want to be a flash in the pan. If you saw the last Metallica show, then you know there's no end. Look at the movies, there is «Terminator 1» and «Terminator 2», the effects can become more and more numerous and violent. Like the 100 meter freestyle swim. They used to be happy if they got under a minute, now it's 50 seconds.
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I asked you the other day about the jeffward_appreciation instagram because it looks like they are screenshotting some of the pics you have posted.
So I assumed they must be following your blog.
Imho I think it’s ok to share things if they come from public accounts. As Jeff and most of his colleagues are public figures they are able to control their own narrative but it’s a different story coming from private accounts like Jeff’s sister who is not part of the biz. And tagging his sister is just so weird. I just wish fans can be more respectful and self-aware.
ooooh I see, I see... well there is every chance they could be following my blog and are one of the many many 500+ followers I have now! hee! since none of the pics are actually mine, I don't mind getting them screenshotted, though I would hope they're giving credit to where it's due, but I don't know how IG works and all that so....
everything you said in that last paragraph is 100000% true!!!
"they are able to control their own narrative"
^^^ this is what it should be about and even though it seems like it's a very obvious thing, sometimes that's what people don't pause and think about when it comes to celebrity lives and their friends and family too - everything turns into a commodity in this media frenzied world we live in nowadays; it's also one reason why I've learned to ignore, unfollow and block negativity that has been very rampant in other fandoms I was a part of - I don't think we need to put celebs on pedestals and see them as this otherworldly type of a figure and then pull them down and comment on their appearances and make fun and joke around when we feel like it; actors are humans first and foremost, just like you and me and everyone else and I respect them so much for putting themselves in the spotlight because I would never be able to do that myself.
And I guess me highlighting that particular line and going on this tinyyy ramble after the fact also proves that sometimes - more often than not, the narrative gets out of their control and into the fan's hands, which... if it is done with respect and self-awareness can be a good thing... I could probably go on and on and on about this for a while! 😅 so I'll just end it here, thanks for letting me know though! :p
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About reposts
So today for the first time, I found someone had re uploaded one of my comics into their instagram account without asking for permission first, I got notified by a commenter who tagged me on the picture to let this person know I also had an instagram account since they had only given credit to my tumblr url.
After I expressed my discomfort with the images being uploaded without my consent the user quickly erased the post, and did not block me.
Now, I absolutely do not think there was any ill intent by this person, and that it was just in the spirit of sharing something they enjoyed, I also think they must not have known about my instagram since they were clearly intending to give credit to the original artist (and seem to do so with all the other re uploads on their account) so I’m convinced this was in good spirits.
If that person is a follower of mine (which they may not be) I just want you to know I hold no grudges against you, however to you, and all others out there who may think on making a re-upload account with the works of others I feel I should express a few words on why you should always ask the artist for permission on it.
Even if you’re not claiming ownership of the piece of work you are uploading, you must still understand it isn’t really yours to take, even if it is published on a public platform and specially if your intent is to share the work it is always best to ask the creator for permission to do so.
Like in this case, had this person asked me for permission (and had I granted that permission) they could have known I have an instagram account myself and been able to use that to give me credit in the post, instead of just the tumblr url.
Which would be much more effective since when you ask people to jump platforms they are much less likely to do so, for any user jumping platforms is far more work than just clicking on my tagged account and immediately be taken to it. Otherwise you may even be taking more views away from them rather than helping them (at least in this case the re-upload had considerable more likes and such than my original post that was also on the platform)
What I mean is, if you want to respect the artist and help them grow and expand their viewership then always ask them, they will always know best how to better give exposure to themselves and will be able to provide information and links.
Now, I understand why that process is slower, more annoying, maybe even nerve wrecking cus you may fear you will anger the artist, well let me assure you, if your intent is to not upset anyone, and they are indeed against you re-uploading their work they will always be more angry and upset to find out you’ve already done it without asking than what they would been by being asked about it.
Maybe they won’t give you permission, but it is their work, and it’s best to respect that, you just have to accept it.
In my case, I tend to be very open to people re purposing what I do, most often when I’ve been asked to use my work, for dubbed videos, avatar pics, meme pics and so on I’ve happily accepted and simply provided and requested some link and contacts on my plaforms to better help me increase my own viewership.
Artists even when doing fan art, put a lot of work, time and effort into it, so please always think in how what you do with their work can affect them, many of us do use those pieces of media for our livelihood (and living of art is hard).
So please, to anyone out there that wants to use my work, just ask me about it, I promise I won’t bite.
To all those of you who have asked me, I’m always very thankful to you for taking the proper route to do this and very flattered to know you take interest and enjoyment of what I do.
#long post#azherwind#re uploads#respect artists#sorry for the rant#this had never happened to me and im actually not mad but I thought it would be good to address it#and share some opinions on the point of view of the original poster#I just think is good to spread some insight on the matter#thank you all for liking my work!#and thank you to the tmnt nation for the likes and reblogs#its been my best post of the year
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since i saw you have so many zuck post and i'm a little bit invest in it like you so i want to ask some question about threads since i don't want to have another social media because i have so much now
1. does moskovitz actually interact with zuck there? i saw them following each other
2. does saverin made an account and followed zuck?? since i don't know if that is his real account, tbh if he actually followed zuck, became one of the new users on threads i'd be surprised because i thought he already didn't care much about either fb or meta in general
also I saw zuck posting tsn reference there for threads and commenting gif of tsn too
sorry for my sloppy english, hope you reply
Hi anon! Thank you for your ask!
What I need everyone on Tumblr to know is that Mark is basically trying to reinvent himself. He's been the butt of a lot of jokes for about a decade now, and this bout with Elon, and Elon's fumbling of Twitter, has presented a prime opportunity for Mark to reboot his public image. This means he's responding to people's posts on Threads, making jokes, and yes, referencing The Social Network.
Now to your questions:
Yes! Dustin and Mark are actually still really close. Dustin's mentioned going on vacation with Mark fairly regularly (for whatever that means for them). Dustin had access to the pre-release launch of Threads and was user # 3037 (as indicated on his Instagram account), and he generally talks about Mark a lot, mostly to defend him/hype him up. He's been talking about Mark a lot lately, because of the drama with Musk and with the launch of Threads, but Mark has been pretty consistently mentioned in his Twitter posts, going back for years. Dustin seems to be particularly excited about Threads, probably because he feels let down by Twitter and the promise of Bluesky, and also because Dustin still owns a 0.6% stake in Meta, which is worth something like $5 billion. Dustin as well as other early Facebook employees have expressed a feeling of nostalgia and excitement akin to the early days of the company, both from the product development side as well as from the consumer side. Anyway, it seems that Dustin's penchant for micro-blogging and Mark's role to promote Meta's new app have combined and allowed them to publicly communicate for the first time in at least a decade. It has been, honestly, delightful to watch. See the bottom of the post for screenshots of their interactions.
Judging by the Instagram account linked to the Threads account, Saverin really is following Mark. (I judged whether or not the Insta account was real by scrolling through who he follows: some weather accounts, someone with the last name that's the same as his wife, someone who's either a sister or cousin, Fox News. These interests correspond with the types of accounts he follows on Twitter; it's most likely really him.) I agree, it is kinda of insane that Saverin joined so early; it's possible he sold the rest of his shares because B Capital got a big infusion of money at the end of 2022, which corresponds with the fund they raised earlier this year. It's also possible he converted his shares from Class A to Class B, but this move still loses him power. He doesn't really have any incentive to be interested in Meta, not anymore. And yet, Saverin was just under the 2 millionth member to join Threads (1,920,187). Taking into account that 30 million people(/brands) joined Threads in the first day, Saverin was an early adopter. At the same time however, in addition to likely not having any financial interest in the company, Saverin doesn't post very often on Twitter (most of which are reposts of articles) and has only ever posted to Instagram twice, and not since 2014 at that. It's interesting to me that he apparently cares so much to be on Threads so early since he doesn't seem to be that fond of micro-blogging or Instagram anyway. At the least, he is a private person, more private than even Mark has ever been, and he is likely on Threads to lurk rather than to post. Which brings me to the point that Saverin is following Mark. He's also following a number of influential Meta people, including important early employees (none of them follow him back). Combined with the fact that Saverin consistently puts "Facebook co-founder" at the top of all of his bios, regardless of his current projects and investments, this paints an image of a petty man who wants to be relevant. It may be interesting that Saverin follows Mark, but don't expect anything to come of it. Saverin lost his chance to make any amends with Mark and anyone else a long time ago.
Bonus: Mark posting a TSN gif? For some reason?? Even though the post he was replying to didn't even mention TSN? (it's a screenshot of the gif of the moment when Eduardo gives Mark the money to go to Palo Alto for the summer while they're hiring interns)
#idk if you were prepared for a post this long but that's what you're getting lol#once again a friendly reminder that if you (person reading this) make lizard/robot/etc jokes about Mark I Will block you#it is not funny#it is antisemitic and dehumanizing#also you can tell I don't like eduardo irl because i refer to him as saverin lmao#zuck posting#threads#mark zuckerberg#dustin moskovitz#eduardo saverin#disclaimer: I am on threads Exclusively to find out more tech stuff#a lot of tech people (reporters; founders; engineers; etc) are flocking to threads and I am taking advantage of it#yes that Is dustin making a tsn reference and mark practically acknowledging it
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⊹ ⋆ﾟ꒰ఎ MBTI - INTP and signs combination ໒꒱ ⋆ﾟ⊹ 𓂅
⤷ Reuploaders, please read this!!!
TIKTOK - tag @juliafranciscco
Instagram - do a collab with @juliafranciscco, to do a collab follow this: when posting the your post, go to tag people - invite collaborator and tag my account! Your post will show in yours and my feed (no, I don't care about the aesthetics, just collab with me!!)
Aries
You are sincere and do not consider the effects of your words. Speaking frankly about your opinions, no matter how unpopular they may be
You can also be a little grumpy and worried.
You are a critical thinker who always seeks out new information to learn.
You cannot remain still for an extended period of time.
You are a hobbyist intellectual who pursues your interests.
You are a physically active INTP who might take pleasure in sports like weightlifting and wrestling.
You typically trust yourself more and take more initiative than other INTPs.
Taurus
You may be an INTP who spends a lot of time sitting in a chair and is predisposed to a sedentary lifestyle since you live intensely in your own mind.
You have strong opinions and don't often modify them. It will be even more challenging to modify your stubborn attitude if someone tries.
Given that the brain needs foods high in sugar and carbohydrates to function, you may have a weakness for them.
To get moving and flowing, you might need more inspiration.
You focus on your mind and ignore the real world
You are more determined to achieve your goals than most INTPs are, and you deal with money issues more easily.
Gemini
You enjoy learning new things, but you take in everything you come across as useful information.
Reads everything for hours, including novels, articles, IG posts, medication leaflets...
Tuned with the newest films and television shows that have just debuted.
Being more like a 1001 walking curiosities than an encyclopedia,being difficult to be specialized in something (no problem, only if you are a surgeon...)
Easily gets bored with a topic, craves constant and varied mental stimulation, and is prone to boredom.
You are a true NERD when compared to other INTPs and struggle with persistence.
Cancer
You are quiet and guarded, finding it difficult to be vulnerable around your pals, but can be lovely with your friends.
You place more value on information in your recollections than in more recent literature because of your attachment to the past and traditions.
You enjoy working according to a plan.
By holding to what you already know and not allowing ideas in your life, this can make it difficult for you to acquire a new methodology and ideals quickly.
Your trie to be helpful to others yet thinks they aren't as smart as you
You are more patient in your aiding of others than other INTPS.
Leo
You are especially creative.
Your intellectual pride is very high.
Despite being an introvert, you have charisma and command attention because you know how to conduct yourself in public.
You are very loyal and giving, but you might get angry with people when you feel that they don't value you.
Because you’re faithful while other people aren't, it's probable that you occasionally gets passed around.
Compared to other INTPS, you tend to care a lot more about how you appear and whether you have more friends.
Virgo
You are a shy person who can be extremely wary of other people.
You don't tend to socialize much and find it difficult to establish friends.
You enjoy interacting with data and different types of information, and you prefer to read instructions-heavy materials like recipes or programming.
You have the potential to write for fun.
You are very good at organizing data into categories and building mental and physical systems.
You approach your work methodically, working tirelessly and persistently.
You are less socially adept than other INTPS, and you typically find partners later than others.
Libra
You have an interest in topics related to history, music, and art.
Likes art and museums.
You're not the type to freely share your ideas.
When you want to be social, you can do so while maintaining your distance from other people.
You are able to employ a social mask and adjust your ideas to other contexts.
You have trouble making judgments and could become stuck on an idea that you already have.
This INTP might have an Extraverted Feeling (Fe) that is a little stronger than the others.
Scorpio
You spend a lot of time by yourself researching different topics.
You have a keen interest in occultism, criminality, and psychology.
You have a sharp memory and a propensity for resentment.
You are a strategic thinker who can see multiple paths to success.
You tend to keep your thoughts to yourself and be enigmatic.
You have a strong urge to remain silent, acquire influence behind the scenes, and control affairs covertly.
You’re more vengeful and experiences less indecisiveness than other INTPs.
Sagittarius
May be interested in philosophy, hermeticism, and esotericism.
You have trouble taking on responsibility and will not stand for having your freedom of thought and behavior restricted.
You are sardonic and very serious, making everything from crude jokes to ones with undertones of dark humor.
When you need to or want to be, you are charming and affable.
You have a tendency to absorb a lot of irrelevant information before focusing on one or two of them; this specialization typically results from being fixated on the subject for months.
You are more flirty, provocative, and adventurous than most INTPS.
Capricorn
You are a stoic person who rarely expresses your feelings, senses, or ideas.
You can be very deliberate and carefully consider each decision you make, looking for achievements or failures.
You are silent, appearing to be distracted, and looks like you have left your body behind.
You might get paralyzed by fear of your own ideas and creations.
Even though you generally come across as amusing and ironic, it's difficult to get close to you because of your distant and distant appearance. It also takes you a while to enter a relationship.
You are more ambitious than other INTPs and find it simpler to make ideas and carry them through, so you accomplish more things as a result.
Aquarius
You are basically rebellious and angry that others don't make their own decisions.
You cherish liberty and detest censorship and discrimination.
You enjoy doing study on topics that aren't frequently discussed in social settings.
Given that thinking outside the box is one of your talents, you might occasionally reach a novel and unusual solution to solve a problem.
You may have a particular way of clothing and acting.
When you don't make an effort to communicate, you come across as cold and emotionally detached and can even come out as utterly unapproachable, although you have the ability to express yourself.
You have acquired some exceptional social abilities compared to other INTPs since you need friends just as much as you need siblings.
Pisces
You often have a very creative imagination that allows you to see things that no one else can, which leads to brilliance.
Because you are constantly daydreaming, you also have a tendency to be more forgetful and distracted.
A linear mental process is impossible.
You hold your own beliefs and perspectives regarding spirituality and religion.
You are a dreamer who has many different plans.
You enjoy the performing and visual arts.
You don't comb your hair and have a more messy look.
You find it more difficult to express yourself orally than other INTPs do, so you turn to other alternatives like art or even numbers.
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