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xhoneygirlxx · 9 months

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Watermelon Sugar

Eddie Munson x Fem Reader

summary: Eddie shows you the eight wonder of the world. his mouth.

warnings: reader and eddie are 18+, established relationship, fluff, Eddie being a munch. nicknames/pet names used (baby, honey, sweetheart, etc.) MINORS DNI 18+ smut: fem oral receiving, blowjobs mentioned, talks of past sexual experiences, praise/body worship, swearing. *Skin Color/Ethnicity not mentioned! not proofread, spelling errors and horrible writing.

if I miss anything plz lmk!

a/n: hello my loves! thank you all for the kind words and reactions on my last couple of posts! as you all know smut is not my forte but I felt the need to write this. am I projecting??? maybe but we’re gonna pretend that i'm not :)

The low hum of Steve Nicks’ voice plays through Eddie’s room, the soundtrack of your makeout session with your boyfriend. Orange glow from the late afternoon sun comes through the window, an angelic glow casting around the frizz of the mentalhead’s hair.

It started as an innocent day, hanging out together in a comfortable silence in his room. Him doodling in his notebook and you flipping through one of his old comic books. Somewhere along the way a featherlight touch turned into shared giggles, sitting in his lap turned into a chaste kiss, and it ended up with him in between your parted knees, kissing like his life depended on it.

A curtain of curls block out the skylight, tender lips on yours like melted honey, and big hands roaming down the expanse of your body. When Eddie moves away from your mouth, he takes the oxygen from your lungs with him and you whimper at the loss.

"Gonna let me have a taste of you, pretty girl?" Big doe eyes shine down to you, way too eager and excited. Your stomach twists into knots, the training you put yourself through in case of this moment, has all been for nothing. What do you say to the man that hovers over you with so much love in his eyes?

"How about I suck you off instead, hmm?" You try to come off as sensual but instead you sound scared.

It's an offer that you've made so many times over the short course of your relationship with Eddie. This was your first real relationship besides the eight grade love affair you had with Simon Willard. That only lasted a week.

You weren't anywhere near a virgin, that so called sacred part of yourself is now in the possession of a random boy you met on vacation before your senior year. Hookups weren't uncommon to you but what was uncommon to you was the affection you received during the sex.

People you've hooked up with never really cared to get you nice and ready the way Eddie does, prepping you with two or more fingers, working you open so that it doesn't hurt going in. Guys didn't care if you got off or not, they were just looking for a hole to fill and someone who wouldn't get clingy.

You had guy friends, including Eddie before you started dating, and you heard the horror stories they had of going down on a girl. It was never in mean spirit, although the discussion should've stayed in the bedroom, but it still scared you shitless. How one girl didn't properly take care of herself, causing the smell to be rancid. This girl didn't wipe the right way, leaving scraps of toilet paper down there. And the one that really settled itself into your brain, was how good or bad a girl tasted.

Of course you, and all of your guy friends, knew that girls didn't taste like ice cream, or strawberries, or candy. It was made up, another bullshit beauty standard for woman to worry about.

You had paid attention to the way guys would ask you if you wanted it done. The way they would sigh and roll their eyes like it was the biggest task of their lives. You would end up telling them that you're more of a giver than receiver, and that you just weren't interested in that whole thing. When they would release a breath of relief you would fill with shame, almost like you were the one who requested it to be done and had been turned down. The embarrassment of rejection you didn't even ask for.

So when you and Eddie first had sex as boyfriend and girlfriend, you made it your mission to never let that horrid question come from his mouth. You always made sure to offer him head first, and if it looked like he was about to ask, you'd simply tell him you couldn't wait anymore.

Now here you are, under him, ready and willing to take him in your mouth, and he's gotten the question out before you could beat him to the punch.

"Ya know I will never say no to that, sweetheart. But-"

Uh oh. That's the word that comes before a life or death sentence. It's hanging heavy over you, the once comfortable silence is now killing you. Squeezing all of the air out of your body, limbs going numb with the loss of circulation, all the while your ears ring like an explosion has gone off.

"I want to return the favor." It's so sincere when he says it and it makes you want to cry. A boyish smile taking over his mouth, deep dimples appearing on the fat of his cheeks.

You must look like you've seen a ghost because the pretty smile that was written on his face is now taken over by worry.

"I mean, I don't have to. It's just- I feel like," Eddie's a panicked mess, backing his face further away from your own. The small bubble of love that the two of you created has now been popped with your own doubts and fears.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I just thought I could make you feel good s'all." The confident man that you know all too well is now reduced to a fumbling and anxious person. His fingers work at the chunky silver ring on his finger, twisting and twisting and twisting it around.

"You just always, I don't know. It just always seems like you never ask for head and I just wanted to offer it to you, I guess."

The whiskey eyes that never left your gaze won't even look at you anymore. Focusing on that damn ring that goes faster and faster the longer you wait to respond. You want to run and hide. Dig a deep hole and never come out. Your lovely boyfriend who's done nothing but treat you like the queen of the goddamn universe, now thinks he's made you uncomfortable.

Embarrassment rushes through your veins, throat closing with the grip of shame making it harder to breathe. Tears prick your eyes, hot and heavy, ready to fall at the drop of a dime. You feel so guilty for not just telling him the truth, for not saying all the concerns that you had. Even before you started dating Eddie always confided in you, telling you the deepest secrets that kept him up at night and you couldn't even tell him this one thing.

"I'm embarrassed." It comes out in a sniffle, lip wobbling beneath the teeth that hold it down, trying to make it go away.

"I'm just embarrassed I won't be good. That I'll be another conversation for you and the boys to drink to. Will I taste good? Do I smell weird? Does it look pretty? All of these questions circle my brain and I'm so fucking scared that you won't like me anymore." It comes out like word vomit, so fast and uneven in tone that you're not sure if it even made sense.

You don't have time to think it over anyway, Eddie's too quick putting his hands on your cheeks, gently making you look up at him. The same kind eyes that you always see meet yours. Thumbs gentle swipe the fat tears off of your face, his cold hands extinguish the flames of your skin.

"Honey, I promise you I would never, ever do some dumb shit like that. What the guys and I talk about is irrelevant, half the time they don't even know what they're talking about. I felt the same way when you wanted to suck me off the first time, every single question you ask yourself is what I ask myself." Eddie's eyes are searching yours, looking and waiting to see the dread leave your head.

"Like I said before, I would never want you to be uncomfortable but if you're okay with it, I'd really," He places a gentle kiss on your forehead, "really," he continues to place more delicate kisses around your face, "really love to make you feel so fucking good."

When he's done, he looks back down to you with a dopey smile, he's low and hazy drunk off of you. A smile tugs on your own lips, so warm and fuzzy off of him. You know he means it and you feel sad that you even questioned him. Childish laughter rings out between the two of you when he pinches your sides, tickling out the stiffness in your body.

When the laughter dies down, he asks you again by cocking his eyebrow up in question. Nodding your head, you give him a confident yes, something you didn't feel the first time he asked.

Moving down your body, trails of kisses are left on your skin, mapping out his journey to your center. When he reaches the hem of your pants, he looks up to you once more waiting for a reply. Encouraging him to go further, his chilled fingers douses the warmth radiating off of you.

Leaving you only in your polka dot designed panties, Eddie teases you by running his fingers up and down your thighs.

"I gotta say bub, I love the pink dots. Top notch fashion if I don't say so myself." Eddie jokes and it makes you giggle. Swatting lightly at him, he returns the laughter.

"I'm not lying, I swear! If only you know what you do to me." As much of a joker Eddie is, he was never one to joke about your beauty. He found everything you did, said, and wore so fucking breathtaking and flawless, he'd probably get hard from the sight of you in a Tin Man costume.

"If you, at any time, want me to stop just tell me. I won't get mad, just let me know, okay?" Eyebrows scrunched with seriousness, Eddie makes sure to be loud and clear with his instructions.

"I promise, Eds." You say and he takes that as the green light.

Eddie's index finger teases your cloth slit, running up and down so slowly it feels like torture. When you lift your hips looking for more friction he snorts lightly.

"Patience, my love." His fingers continue to dance over your panties, running back to the top of the band and pulling them down in a swift motion.

When the cool air hits your wet seat, you whimper slightly at the feeling. Eddie has seen your pussy multiple times, but when he spreads it with his fingers, you can't help but feel shy, closing your legs around his arm.

"Don't go shy on me, baby. I just wanna see the prettiest picture I've ever seen." His eyes are still trained on the glistening of your sex, glimmering like bright pools of water.

It feels like an hour of no movement from Eddie before he goes to change his position between your legs. Shuffling back on his knees, he picks your thighs up to place on his shoulders as he lays on his stomach.

Still having doubts, you lean up on your elbows, watching your boyfriend to see what his reaction is. To your surprise, he looks like a kid in a candy store, awe and wonder swimming around in the big brown pools of his eyes.

When an obscene sniff rings through the air, you can't help but cringe a little. Waiting for him to look repulsed, you're again astonished when all your met with is a feral look.

Very tentatively, he runs his flat tongue from your hole to the top of your clit. Moaning deeply, he moves his gave up to you. A smirk breaks out on his features, so devilishly and mischievously.

"Oh baby, you have no fucking clue how good you taste." There is no questioning in his cadence. It's smug and cocky and it makes you shiver with need.

Repeating his motions from before, you mewl at the feeling, lifting your hips again. The chuckle that comes from Eddie vibrates off of you, make you move you squirm. Reaching his strong hands around your thighs, he holds you in place with his firm grip.

When the wet muscle breaches your needy hole, you fall back onto the bed moaning out in pleasure. He works your open with it, flicking it in and out efficiently.

Pulling out of you, he moves up to your bundle of nerves. Starting slowly, he circles around once or twice, before working it in figure eights.

You melt into the bed like a popsicle on a hot summers day. There's not a single thought in your head other than the feeling of his mouth. You're a livewire come to life, so sensitive and lost in the haze of pleasure.

You think this is the precipice of ecstasy but then one of his thick fingers enter you and his mouth sucks hard on your pulsing clit.

It feels like fireworks on the fourth of July, bright and explosive, big loud bangs ringing out into the night sky. It's like the feeling of going down the big drop on a rollercoaster, tingling deep in your belly and a rush of adrenaline pumping through your veins. It's like winning first place, heartwarming and shocking all at the same time.

You feel all these things at the same time, every single one of them caused by the actions of your boyfriends mouth. It's overwhelming and so fucking delicious but you can't say anything than cry out in bliss.

Letting go of your clit with a pop, Eddie's head pokes up at you like an excited puppy. "S'it feel good baby?" You want to answer, you really do but the way he sneaks a second finger into you and crooks them at the perfect angle makes you lose all motor skills.

"Awe, honey" he coos mockingly, "Is it that good?"

"S'good Eds, so good." You're a blubbering, crying mess. So hooked on the feeling of him, hooking on the feeling of how he made you feel.

He doesn't say anything else, too busy pushing his face back between your legs. His motions go faster, fingers hitting that sweet spot inside of you that he only managed to find, his mouth switching between motions, driving you closer to the edge as he does.

The string in your belly is pulling tighter and tighter, barley hanging together by a thread. You're a thrashing, sweaty mess on his bed, gripping the pillow underneath your head that your knuckles will probably be stuck in that position. You don't care, not when he's moving his head back and forth, slurping up your wetness like a handmade milkshake.

It's filthy, down right dirty the way it sounds. The noises that carry out into his room echo so loud the neighbors could probably hear. The squelch of your wetness being pounded into by his hand, the way he's drinking you up like a dehydrated plant, the moans that escape out of your parted lips.

"Eddie, please. FUCK, please." You're blathering at him, not even sure at what you're asking for.

Separating himself from you again, he continues working his fingers deep into you.

"You wanna cum, pretty girl? S'that it? Wanna cum all over my fingers?" You moan louder in response, clenching around him harder as you do.

"Go ahead, be a good good and cum for me. Come on, honey. Cum for me." That's all you need to hear before you're hurtling off the edge of your release.

You release with a silent cry, all the air being punched right out of you. Your body feels weightless, like you were thrown up into the clouds and not being able to come down.

Your whole body shakes, tears streaming down your face, all while your hole pulses and quivers around Eddie's fingers. A gush of wetness coats his fingers, a big puddle under your ass, leaving another stain on his bed seats.

He watches in awe as you hit your peak, how your back arches off of the bed and how you look so fucking perfect like this. The shy girl that never got experience this kind joy, now swims in the ocean of euphoria of the climax. He feels so lucky to witness this, to be the first and last person to ever see you this vulnerable.

Eddie wishes he could paint this moment, make a portrait of the way your kiss bitten lips form the perfect O, make the brushstrokes of your hair and some of it sticks to your sweaty face. You're so beautiful and he doesn't know how blessed to be yours.

When you float back down to earth, to the springy mattress of Eddie's, you take a moment to catch your breath. When he removes his fingers from you, you weakly hiss from movement and he offers a quiet sorry.

Moving back up to his knees, he hovers over you and smiles brightly down at you. Smiling weakly back at you, he uses the hand that's not supporting his weight to place it on your jaw. His thumb brushes back and forth and you melt right into it.

"How was that?" Pink tints his cheeks, grinning ear to ear.

You chuckle weakly, shaking your head in disbelief.

"I think I went to outer space for a second there."

A booming laugh leaves his chest and it makes you smile even harder. Your heart feels so full and so happy. You're so in love with him and it makes you delirious. You want to see him like this for the rest of your life, big smiles and even big laughter, so pretty and delicate only for you.

"Well I'm glad you enjoyed yourself there, space cadet." Leaning down to press his lips to yours, your soak in the feeling of it. When he moves away you pout at him, and he bops you on the nose with his finger.

"I was thinkin' I could return the favor, big boy." You whisper seductively.

"Oh baby, that sounds wonderful but-," He makes eye contact with you, "I need to be in you like yesterday because that, right there was the hottest thing I've ever witness."

"I happen to be a romantic. So I shall wait until my fair maiden is okay to resume our activities." Closing his eyes with pride, he places a hand on his heart.

Hiding your face with your hands, you bust out laughing at his little antics and when you peek between his fingers you see his teeth flashing back at you. Removing your hands from your face, you tuck a loose tendril behind his ear.

"You're a dork, but that sounds good to me."

Thank you all for reading! I loves you all and hope you enjoyed!!!

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson fic

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rockingbytheseaside · 2 months

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✦ A Boy Named Heretic

tw: mentions of stalking and theft. Dottore in his Akademiya days, reader hinted to be from Khaenri'ah. SFW

Imagine little boy Zandik, discreetly hiding behind the columns of the Akademiy, trying to take a peek at you from afar. You’d stand among your peers, the Akademiya’s uniform embracing your constitution to further highlight your comforting poise. You are taller than the young boy, a perfect image of a senior student with just a few semesters away from graduating and becoming an official researcher. Alas, the teen felt self-conscious to approach you directly, since he was only a junior trainee Dastur.

Imagine little boy Zandik eavesdropping on your discussion with your friends. You’d complain to your friends how one of your notebooks on Linguistic Semantics and Pragmatics was lost. You were a diligent student, and your written notes were a reflection of your hard work, so it was natural for you to feel bummed out about losing your notebook out of the blue. Zandik would persist in eavesdropping, noticing your friends providing consultative pats on your back: “Maybe you left it some other place?” or “Maybe you forgot it in the previous class?” - they’d say. Little did you know that a young trainee Dastur was hugging your notebook close to himself, not admitting to anyone that he was the one who stole it.

Imagine little boy Zandik sneaking off into the lush gardens of the Akademiya or some other miscellaneous corner of Sumeru. He’d hold your notebook protectively as if it was his newest treasure from the one he adores. He’d spend hours reading your notes, analyzing your handwriting, and smiling at the small doodles left on certain pages. Zandik’s fingers would gently trace the outline of your pages, memorizing the unique theories and thoughts you conveyed in your notebooks. His dorm room was filled with various notes or papers you randomly discarded or forgot about. Now it proudly hung, being displayed on his wall.

Imagine little boy Zandik never telling anyone that he was the one who pocketed your negligible belongings. Yet in a couple of weeks or months, you’d mysteriously find your long-forgotten notebooks once more. There it is, in your backpack, as if you never lost it. You’d scratch your head in confusion, unaware of carnelian red eyes staring at you from across the library. Even yet, oblivious of the boy whose cold stare would turn into a longing gaze. Any books you borrowed from the library a week ago were now on his desk.

Imagine little boy Zandik being conveniently nearby when you stormed into the student affairs office, complaining to one of the supervisors how your Akademiya uniform was stolen. You’d relentlessly argue about how you definitely did not leave it somewhere randomly, only to forget it after returning from a research expedition. Thus, after a useless talk in the office, you’d sigh and slump down in the empty hallway wearing casual clothes due to your missing uniform.

“...Excuse me, miss?” - a small voice interrupted your thoughts when a junior student approached you. He stood there for a while, hands behind his back and big round eyes gawking.

“...Um, yeah?” - you replied with uncertainty, trying to conjure a polite smile. “How may I help you?”

“You’re not in your Akademiya uniform. I heard a commotion from the office from which you came from…” - he spoke, although hesitantly as if looking you straight in the eyes was an act of disrespect that could shatter him. “Did you lose yours?”

“Ah, well, about that…” - you groaned, running a hand through your hair. “I’m sorry, was I too loud that other students heard from the hallway? My bad… Yes, I have indeed lost mine. Although I am more than certain it was stolen directly from my bag.”

The young trainee Dastur stood in front of you, his eyes still wide and observant of your every move. He mustered a reply and said: “Don’t worry. No one heard… Only I did.”

You stared at him awkwardly. Where did this boy come from?

“Is this yours, miss?” - he suddenly revealed neatly folded clothes from behind his back. And wouldn’t you know, it was indeed your uniform. You hopped up in an instant.

“Whoa-! It’s my uniform! But how, and where did you find it?”

Imagine little boy Zandik invoking all his courage to stand still before you while biting his lips nervously as he handed you your belongings. Your immediate shift to awe and excitement upon your found uniform was a lot. You were indeed taller than him, your mere presence made him feel like a child, stammering and shifting coyly. However, he finally muttered his name to you and explained how he found some folded uniforms mysteriously left behind.

Imagine little boy Zandik feeling relieved when you believed him, even when you noticed that the uniform was oddly warm despite being missing. And yet you still looked at him with sincere gratitude and a warm appreciation. The boy’s lips would tug into a guileful smile when you left. He’d remember your smell from the uniform.

Imagine little boy Zandik managing to catch you every morning in the Akademiya’s hallway. He’d always approach you, so silent yet observant, but only when you weren't surrounded by your classmates and other seniors. You thought it was a coincidence that his breaks matched yours and that he’d inadvertently stay in the same remote hallways you always preferred. He was visibly reclusive when talking, but his curiosity was palpable like his gawking red eyes. He often asked you about your interests, research, classes, and frankly anything. The young trainee Dastur never got bored of hearing you ramble and rant about ancient technology or languages; instead, the boy huddled close to you, with his legs swinging gently.

You didn’t have to know that his break schedule did not match yours. But your inconspicuous meetings became a daily routine nonetheless.

Imagine little boy Zandik clutching onto your uniform and asking in horror: “What do you mean you’re leaving the Akademiya?!”. You informed him that although you graduated and got your thesis approved, you refused all invitations to work as a researcher or a trainee professor at the Akademiya. It wasn’t an easy decision, and you wished to withhold that information from him, but the boy was eerily observant. He saw your signed papers and coaxed an explanation from you.

“...I’m sorry, Zandik. I have to.” - your voice filled with as you stared down at him clutching onto you. regret

“You can’t just leave!” - his grip on you was not firm, but it was pleading. “You are an exceptional alumni! You could become a professor in just a few years. If you wait just a little, I’ll finish my senior classes and become a junior like you, too! And- and, in just a couple of years, I’d be a student in your courses! I’ll be your best student in class, I promise!”

The boy begged and pressed himself onto you as if you’d vanish forever. It hurt to see him like that, it hurt to say you’d leave him. You squatted down to meet his gaze.

“Zandik, it’s all right. You’re already a top A student in your class. It’s just the circumstances that are calling to me, and I’ll have to leave Sumeru. I won't be staying to work here. I’ll… have to return to my home country.”

“You won't even stay in Sumeru…? But your theories on ancient technologies, the ruin guards, the anthropology of the Cataclysm… a-and me - you can’t just leave it all behi-'' Znadik's lips were shut with your palm, trying to keep him at bay and not cause a scene. It took a while to shush him, and you’ve never seen him in such enraged distress.

“As much as I loved my studies and research, I… do not wish to stay in the Akademiya. This institution would not be so welcoming if I were to pursue my theories. This is not the academic career I desire.”

Imagine little boy Zandik not understanding at the time. Why would the Akademiya not be happy with your topics of interest? What’s so wrong with learning about Khaenri'ahan technology? You’re Khaenri'ahan. What’s wrong with your thesis on the origins of cataclysms throughout Teyvat? He read them, he worships them, and you determined to leave it all behind?

Imagine little boy Zandik concealing his choked anger as he whispered “... You would leave me behind?”. He never confessed he was the one who stole your notebooks numerous times, or how he reads your papers at night with a flashlight, or how he stole your uniform to relish your scent and imagine it was you he was holding tightly.

He could’ve held you. He could’ve done many things if you stayed. Now his last anchor in this cursed institution was gone.

Imagine little boy Zandik glaring daggers at a classmate named Sohreh, who blurted out once: “So what if some random alumni left the Akademiya? It’s not like their research was the most unique one… students come and go, right?”

Imagine little boy Zandik is no more. Because after 400 years, in his place stood a dangerous man, deemed a heretic and the 2nd of the Fatui Harbingers. He would achieve great scientific length, no matter how immoral and heretical they were, all thanks to the inspiration of your works when you were young. His works in creating segments were not for naught, because his influence was used for both the Fatui’s and personal gains too. Personal, as in scavenging the corners of Teyvat and Abyss to locate you.

Imagine Dottore finding you, after almost 400 years, instead of the little boy you once knew. Because that little boy from the Akademiya never stopped imagining you being back.

➻ A small illustration of Zandik that I did for this fic is here too :)

#genshin impact #genshin impact fatui #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #gender neutral reader #yandere dottore #genshin fanfic #fanfic #genshin x you

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starryknight-tarot · 2 months

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𝓨𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓝𝓸

pile 1 -- > pile 2 -- > pile 3 pile 4 -- > pile 5 -- > pile 6

my masterlist<3 . paid readings Hello my beautiful souls ✨ I am here with part two of my yes or no pacs! Remember to meditate, take a deep breath, and pick whatever pile calls to you the most. My readings are meant for everyone, no matter what sexuality or identity you are. Since this is a general reading, make sure to take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Pile 1 Card: Two of Wands

Yes, although I would as that the Two of Wands is closer to a maybe. I would say that the result really depends on your actions right now and how you go about this situation. Stay strong and courageous.

Advice Cards:

Put your tasks and goals in order

Deep, deep down, something needs attention

It's time to try something new!

Channeled Song:

Pile 2 Card: The Chariot

Yes, you need to stay consistent and keep your head high in this situation. Be brave and bold!

Advice Cards:

Love is the answer to your current situation

Release unhelpful influences and fears

Keep the faith. Stay intentioned. Your perseverance will pay off

Channeled Song:

Pile 3 Card: King of Swords

Yes, but in this situation, you need to more logic and use problem solving skills to get what you want. Following your heart may not get you the results you want.

Advice Cards:

You are much stronger than you think

Use your creativity to accomplish

Your body needs your attention

Remove all resistances and move into a state of flow

Channeled Song:

Pile 4 Card: Three of Pentacles

Yes, you will achieve what you want when you are willing to work with others and trust the people around you.

Advice Card:

It's time to realize the blueprint of your soul

Yes, you can . . . Set it into motion!

Weigh your situation carefully

Channeled Song:

Pile 5 Card: The Wheel of Fortune

Yes, but remember just as the wheels can turn on your favour, they can move away from you just as quickly. Luck is on your side.

Advice Cards:

Awareness opens a field of possibility in your life

Release all attachments that do not serve you

Release what you do not need. Let go of some extraneous aspects of your life

Channeled Song:

Pile 6 Card: The Devil

No, your obsessions and addictions may get the better of you in this situation. Don't give in to simple temptations. Advice Cards:

In harmony with your inner self, you are free to do be whatever you choose

Spend some time in stillness to reflect

It's is time to unclutter your body, mind, and spirit

Channeled Song:

Thanks for tuning in₊‧.°.⋆🫧•˚₊‧⋆.

#tarot #tarot reading #starryknight tarot #pac tarot #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarot reader #spotify #yes or no #yes or no tarot #spirituality #Spotify

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squerlly · 2 months

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flames of desire chapter 5: bonding exercise

Alastor x (f! bunny reader) -Fluff- chapter 1

your POV:

through out my time here in hell I have grown accustomed to the musty hot atmosphere of the underworld and the loud mornings of screaming, gun shots, and road rage, its hell after all and there technically isn't any rules. me and angel hang out a lot more, behind his sex jokes and playful demeaner hes a great friend. husk and I are cool I suppose, according to him I'm more tolerable. Nifftys a bit crazy and energetic but I enjoy helping her clean sometimes, but one person that's been on my mind a lot is Alastor. hes always watching me, I catch him staring at me with that weird smile, I wonder if his face hurts from smiling all the time...none of my business what he does I just wish he wasn't so eerie. I was in the lobby this morning when Charlie called us over for a "bonding exercise", seeing everybody gathered in there seats I sit on the couch next to angel, "good morning everybody thank you for comingggg, I would like to have you all here for a little bonding time yayy!!!..." the silence was defiantly loud... "uhm- well I though we could all do something fun like drawing!" standing behind her vaggie comes out with paper, markers, and crayons "oooo colors" niffty giggles "what's does this look like kinder garden?" "angel please try and at least participate" letting out an annoyed grumble he agrees "fineee..." "great! were all going in partners and you will draw each other, that sound fun right!!?" oh no... "charlies with me, husks with angel, and Alastors with y/n, nifftys can uhm..." "oh oh can I be the judge!!!" "sure..." "you gotta be fucken kidding me..." "aww cmon whiskers I'm not that baddd~" walking to there partners I turn to see Alastor sitting on the arm chair looking at me with a wide grin on his face, "fuck me..." I grumble walking over to sit on the floor beside him "well my dear looks like its just me and you" "yeah... me and you" grabbing two pieces of papers and some crayons "I cant even draw..." "oh don't worry I'm sure you will do just fine!" "why am I doing this again..." "cheer up dear this is supposed to be fun after all, I cant be that hard to draw" "yeah your right just need two colors" scribbling on the paper I start at the base of his face, doodling his creepy smile and red hair, looking up I see him studying me curiously "what's the matter, am I hard to draw?" I say smugly "not at all dear your quite easy to draw" ouch, thanks...

Alastors POV:

I never really focused any time on things such as art, yes I can cook and maybe play the piano but drawings not one of my few good skills although ill give it a shot. I would have never guessed I would be sitting here doing one of charlies silly little projects, attempting to draw y/n I look at here for a while, this is the closest I have ever really been next to her, my she really is small it makes me want to squeez her tiny little body, her head could fit in my hand easily. I have noticed a few things while observing her, her ears twitch when she's focused on things like now, her pink bunny nose twitches when she's scared, and her fluffy tail wags when she's exited or annoyed what a strange individual...

your POV:

"ok guys once your done with your drawings you will show them off to your partners!!", as a few minutes pass by I have finished my drawing and well I'm quite disappointed in myself, man I should have taken art class in high school "I finished if your ready to show them" hell no... "I- I'm done but I don't think I wanna... "oh I'm sure its not that bad" giving the drawing one last glance I turn the page I show him the drawing facing away to hide what little dignity I had left. hearing a quiet static buzz noise I look back up seeing him looking at the drawing with a questionable face "I know its badd!!!" "w-well I wouldn't say that dear its just..." "just say its bad!" "its interesting" "well what does yours look like?" turning his page my jaw drops to the floor, what is this creepy deer man not good at "its not my best work but-" "are you kidding me Al this is good!" standing up I grab the drawing, it was in crayon but it looked just like me. pausing I try to tone down my excitement seeing alastor wide eyed from my reaction "I'm glad you like it dear" "what cant you do" "well I did say I was a man of many talents but drawing isn't one of them" "do you uhh mind if I keep this..." "not at all dear~" "you don't have to keep mine you can just throw it-" "nonsense its mine isn't it?" "yes.." "then I will keep it". for once he seemed to have a genuine smile on his face, not some creepy ass smile, its kind of nice...

Alastors POV:

I don't know why but I wanted to keep her silly little drawing, its...cute?. it looks nothing like me but its quite amusing seeing her all embarrassed. I was surprised to see she liked my drawing, her eyes lit up with a small smile on her face, it feels good to know my work is appreciated even in the... strangest things it gives me a sense of pride, I might hang it in my radio tower...

your POV:

looking at everybody else I saw Charlie bouncing on her heels looking at a little doodle vaggie made how cute~, husk made a sloppy doodle of angel and angel just drew himself. niffty was running around looking at others drawings, eventually she got around to ours, climbing on my shoulder she looks at Alastors drawing "ooooOooo you look so cute in the picture!!" I smile a bit "thanks niff" grabbing her off my shoulder I set her down "well that's the end of the exercise, how was it!" "ehh it wasn't to bad" "it was alright" "whatever...im going back to the bar" Charlie puts on a little smile "well do one again next week, maybe we could make cookies together or do all about ME's oh oh!! what about-" "ok hon slow down" "sorry". this was nice, hell isn't that bad, at least not here. better than home...

hey guys!!! I was supposed to release this earlier but I'm a little sick right now from the cold weather but I refuse to let you guys down! I made this chapter a little longer than usual so I hope you guys loved this cute chapter as much as I did, love you guys have a good day/night

-squerlly

for more content or chapter please click this masterlist

@pooplyface1423 @strippezzz

#hazbin #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin hotel x you #alastor x reader smut #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x y/n

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vlrspace · 1 year

Text

cw: this is just a small fluff with a slightly bold! 3rd year deku. enjoyy

wc: 4.1K

an: first published fanfic ever, so i’m aware it isn’t the best but we’ll improve.

aizawa’s voice fills the room, most focusing and actually taking down notes, while some are trying to fight to stay awake and doodle. not that you’re dropping into the latter, but lately more and more rabbit like doodles fill up the margins of your book.

it isn’t necessarily that you aren’t listening to what aizawa is actually saying and you don’t care about your grades, but lately funny emotions are erupting in your heart and you’ve been feeling a little bit off.

you are well aware what these feelings are, what more like who causes them and how they were born. however the timing was quite bad, you would’ve been happier if these feelings would’ve come later. in the future when it’s easier to get over your probably unrequited feelings for a boy everyone adores. not that it’s a problem, of course everyone is adoring him, he’s such a sweetheart with a kind nature and his aspiration to become a hero is a huge influence to those around him.

honestly, you couldn’t blame midoriya izuku for being blessed with nothing but good traits. he’s always lending a hand if you’re in need of help with school or training. he’s asking how are you doing at every chance he sees you, gives you an ear if you want to talk, and often he circles his muscly arms around you to pull you closer to him if you need some comfort.

you often wondered if he treated everyone else like this or if it’s just you? although it’s better if that question remains unanswered for your poor little heart. you are already overthinking, your brain is like an ocean, overflowing with thoughts till you zone out completely. barely realising how mina came to stand beside your table asking you if you wanted to grab lunch.

“you have been in your own world lately” tsu says with slight concern laced in her tone. you shoot her an apologetic smile.

“i apologise, sometimes i get carried away and just zone out completely. i am not intentionally ignoring you girls” you beam, hoping your answer is enough for them to not continue on pressing the topic.

maybe though, your answer had been half a lie. you are somewhat ignorant when you’re day dreaming and zone out completely, hoping that the green haired hero-in-training wouldn’t talk to you unless necessary.

mainly, since your second and now your third year at u.a. started, izuku had been through a growing spurt. he’s no longer smaller than most boys in your class but he’s 6 foot something and his hair is tamed with a little undercut. he’s more buff, broader and easily towers over most, even if he doesn’t mean it to come off intimidating. to say he’s gotten hotter is an understatement.

of course, his personality hasn’t changed drastically but he grew a bit more confident in himself and bold as well. he’s still stumbling over his words at times and gets flustered with blood red cheeks but it’s getting rare.

“ohh, what’s on your mind (y/n)? do you want to talk about it?” ochaco offered, her cheeks flushed with slight redness as always as her eyes gazed on you warmly.

“it’s just school and training i guess” you answer softly as you all make your way down to the lunch hall. “thank you though” you give the girls a side hug as you all walk towards the lunch hall.

when you got there, the girls separated to walk towards their own little groups and you cluelessly stood there, not knowing who to join, you’re friends with everyone. without thinking you grabbed mina’s arm asking if you could join her and the bakusquad. she took a hold of your hand while grinning at you, she lead you towards their table.

“(y/n), it’s so good you’re joining us, we dared kaminari to eat bakugous usual lunch” kirishima laughs with sero, wiping their tears. at least jiro covers her mouth hiding her laugh.

so this is how lunch went, bakugou smirking victoriously, kaminari chucking water after water to sooth the spice left in his throat and the others chuckling and eating. plus the nagging thought at the back of your head that a pair of eyes are watching you from afar, but every time you looked around you didn’t see anyone. bakugou must’ve noticed this sitting next to you as he gave you a look.

“are you paranoid or something, shorty?” he smirks as he somewhat softly pushes your shoulder.

“no, i’m not! just my quirk is acting up.” you mumble looking down at your finished lunch. “anyways should we head back to class? the bell rings in a few minutes” you suggest as you start to stand up from your table and thankfully the others follow.

the second you get to class and take a seat, you let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding, and just as you were about to relax, izuku walks in with shoto, talking about something and his eyes find yours, giving you a wide smile.

oh no, now he’s walking towards you.

“are you alright (y/n)? ochaco and tsu told me during lunch that you’ve been kind of out of it because of school and training. is there anything i can help you with?” izuku stops next to your desk and gives you a wide smile, eyes bright green. why is he looking so intently in your eyes?

you swiftly collect yourself turning to look ahead of you thinking what to say without messing your words up before finally answering his question quietly.

“i’m alright, thank you” you turn to look up at him and he’s smile is smaller, eyes filled with concern. “are you okay?” you ask finally giving him a smile, but his answer goes unheard when aizawa walks in the room and izuku hurries to his seat, muttering a small sorry towards you.

for the second time today, you let out a sigh from deep within you.

nothing interesting happens after that, apart from you bolting from your seat towards the door and quickly make your way towards your dorm room. you catch up with studying and went on a small jog around campus. after a lovely shower, feeling so much better without all the sweat underneath your clothes, an empty stomach is the only thing stopping you from going to bed.

kaminari, sero, kirishima and mina are all shouting, seemingly in a harmless argument as you walk in the common room. you turn towards shoto who was leaning against the wall and ask him what is all the commotion about. he gives you a gentle smile while explaining how the four is arguing about what movie to watch, all four having different ideas in mind. you let out a small laugh, and you start engaging in a small conversation with the bi coloured boy.

the feeling of being watched is returning and you looking around, subtly not wanting to catch shoto’s attention. again, nothing seems to be out of place. maybe you are being paranoid just like bakugou said.

your conversation with shoto is cut off when you feel a presence behind you, causing shoto to look up from you and you turn around. izuku is standing behind you, he’s smiling like always but he’s eyes look a tad different, darker. but it’s probably from the lighting, he’s looking down at you and it’s his hair, shadowing his eyes. yes that’s it.

“the others decided on the movie we are watching. lets go and sit down.” izuku’s hand is already on your lower back, gently pushing me towards the sofas.

“oh okay, what movie are we watching?” you ask, turning slightly towards him, hoping he doesn’t see the slight blush on your face.

izuku answers your question, as you both sit at the edge(!!) of the sofa, ochaco turns to you excitedly, explaining how one of the actors is her celebrity crush. the lights get turned off while you’re focused on your conversation with her, mainly because izuku is sitting next to you, your heart is going wild, you hope he doesn’t hear it, the butterflies in your stomach are doing flips and you feel sick just from the sitting next to him. you got it bad for the green haired male, but you’re only just realising how bad it is.

izuku on the other hand, he isn’t any better than you. he got his eyes on you for a while now, and is absolutely smitten by you. he thinks you’re absolutely stunning, everything about you is pretty (according to him, pretty doesn’t even come close to how good you look - that’s what he said to the dekusquad), but he’s even more attracted to how amazing you are on the inside. you’re smart, considerate and kind to everyone, you’re helpful, a good listener and so on.

he loves being around you, being with you, having you around, he yearns for you, he wants to touch you, hold your hand, kiss your lips, stroke your cheeks, holding you in his arms. he wants to take you out on dates, study with you, train with you, introduce you to his mum, just spending more time with you would make him the happiest man alive.

izuku is more than aware of the fact that everyone in the class knows about his crush on you. he’s thankful that no one said a word about it to you though. what makes him a little bit worried is that no one seems to know if you got a crush on anyone, you always seem so indifferent when the topic is brought up. he would totally understand it as well if you tell him that you don’t feel the same.

at the same time, izuku knows that if he wants to get answers and even if there is a slight chance of you liking him, he needs to step up his game. so after a few pep talk with his renewed friend kacchan and girl best friend ochaco, he became a bit bolder when it came to interacting with you. hugging you, lingering touches here and there and after seeing how you reacted the first few times, he continued on.

because honestly, you look so cute with the slight blush on you cheeks and the way you shyly smile and look away from him. so when the movie is halfway in, he puts his arm on the couch behind your head, causing your side pressing against his toned torso. izuku can feel you stiffen slightly but after a while you ease up and lean back to him, not fully but it made izuku’s heart beat faster and his cheeks are slight flushed. ochaco gives him a quick look with a tiny smirk before turning back towards the tv.

izuku hopes he hasn’t ruined anything between you two with this, but he would’ve talked to you tonight either way about how he’s feeling. he also didn’t want kacchan to tell you about his feelings because the ash blonde boy was too tired of hearing about the lovesick thoughts his friend (we all know they are!!) bombarded him with. he also knows that you’ve been somewhat avoiding him for some reason, he’s not an idiot and his heart can’t take it anymore.

so tonight, izuku will confess to you and he hopes you’ll accept him.

as the movie is coming to an ending, the lights come back on, izuku’s arm is still behind you with his hand now slightly next to your face. you’re heart is beating even faster, knowing that this display will be seen by all of your classmates. on your right, izuku doesn’t seem all that fazed, talking with ochaco, tsu and iida about the movie. for some reason that makes you blush so very dark, you can practically feel your face growing hot at how he’s not afraid of others seeing you two like this.

a hand is slightly brushing against the edge of your shoulder and you turn around to face izuku, who’s looking down at you, beaming.

“what did you think of the movie?” he’s gently stroking your shoulder now, his eyes only focusing on you.

“ah uh, the movie was, uh very good. i enjoyed it a lot” you stutter ripping your eyes away from him but before you could say anything else, you hear a few snicker from next to you causing you to look around the room. everyone is looking at you excitedly, some are smirking and mina is holding her phone towards you and izuku.

oh no, she must’ve taken a picture.

you turn swiftly to look at izuku, who’s looking at you, his face calm, eyes warm and somewhat lidded, lips curled in a small smirk. your eyes are wide in contrast and your lips form a small ‘oh’. your face definitely looks like a tomato, you’re sure of that, you let a nervous laugh.

“i’m going to go to the bathroom” you excuse yourself as you stand up, already missing the warmth of izuku’s hand on your shoulder. you hear someone call after you, but you are almost running towards the elevators at this point to get to the safety of your room.

the second you walk through your door, you rush in and flop on your bed and grab your pillow, shouting into it. now for sure everyone know about your feelings for izuku and you’re even more confused about what he’s feeling towards you at this point, but at the same it felt so good being so close to him. is there actually a chance that he feels the same as you?

while you’re planning on hiding away in your room forever, a knock is heard on your door.

“it’s open” you mumble from under your pillow, not even bothering to see who came in.

“hey girl, did i take it too far?” you feel the bed dip as mina lays down beside you. you take the pillow from your face and throw it at hers, she catches it and laughs.

you turn towards her, eyes a bit glossy but you give her a smile. “no you didn’t, just…you see, uh” you trail off not knowing how to tell her your feelings for izuku. after a few minutes she starts talking.

“i know that someone is going to confess to you tonight” you sit up as soon as you hear that and look at her with the widest eyes ever “but you never told us who you have a crush on or if you even like someone, you know.” she sits up too and starts stroking your arm, it doesn’t feel as good as izuku’s. “i don’t want to put you and the other person into an uncomfortable situation so please tell me (y/n)”

this took you off guard, you never expected anything like this. someone in your class likes you, and you hope it’s izuku. you’re kind of hesitating to tell mina about your crush though. it’s not that you don’t trust her, you simply have a hard time opening up about it.

“i like izuku.” your voice is so small, she can barely hear it. mina can barely contain her smile though, she needs to go through this without letting you know anything. the others are probably having a harder time with izuku anyways, who’s downstairs having a crisis.

izuku freaked out the second you left, knowing he messed everything up and took it too far. everyone was trying to calm him down while he held his face in his hands. izuku loved having you so close to him in the past hour, you felt so warm and soft, but he never meant to make you feel like you had to run away from him because you didn’t like being around him

suddenly kirishima swings his arm around him as he plops down on the armrest. his phone is open in the messages app and shows izuku the last message. izuku reads it, his thought going wild and so is his heart, he cannot believe it.

meanwhile, mina puts her phone away, while you put yourself together a bit. you often turn to look at her and she gives you a reassuring smile. she knows you must be a little bit confused and anxious what the rest of the night will bring you, but she also knows that by the end of the night, you’ll be the happiest human alive, that alone made her happy.

“okay, i think i’m ready to go back” you stand in front of your door, fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt. “i hope the others won’t be mad at me for storming out”

“no need to worry about that babes” mina hugs you then you two leave your room, her arm linked with yours.

when you reach the common room, everyone is talking and some of the boys are playing games, like nothing happened. kirishima came up to you two, taking you both under his arms.

“you two will miss out on the competition. we are trying to find who’s the king of mario kart-“ “it’s me you idiots” “of course you are bakubro! i feel like he’ll blow up the console if he doesn’t win” kirishima whispers the last bit to you two, causing you all to snicker.

you feel like you’re being watched for the third time today and suddenly you’re reminded about what happened not just long ago. you look around to see if izuku is still around or maybe you completely ruined everything and now he doesn’t want to talk to you or be around you. before worry could fill you up, your eyes meet with his emerald ones from the same couch you two were sitting on. you shot him a small smile and he’s eagerly sending you one back and then you turn your attention back towards mina and kirishima, trying to focus on them.

ten minutes later, you are somewhat engrossed in the conversation about music with jiro, you feel him before he makes himself known, jiro excuses herself quickly as you turn to look up to izuku from your seat. he gives you a warm smile, but his eyes are nervous, voice a bit shaky when he asks you “let’s go and talk somewhere private, yeah?”

you only nod, following him outside and into the back garden of the dorms and you two take a seat on the bench, facing the building. there is a slight tension, and it’s a bit uncomfortable for you both but then izuku starts speaking.

“i’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable during the movie or any other time” he starts of quietly “i didn’t mean any harm, ever, i just wanted to be closer to you. you always make me feel so warm and happy like i’m always on cloud nine (9). you’re so amazing, smart, kind and pretty too! “you turn towards him, indecisive if it’s a good thing that he says all of this or a bad thing and he’s about to reject you. either way your heart is in your throat “oh my, you’re so pretty, i always dream about you. i ache for you (y/n), every time we are together i feel whole. i admire you for your patience towards others, your drive to be a hero and you always know how to make someone smile. i will make you smile every day too, if you take me (y/n), i adore you so much, i feel like i’ll burst” he ends his confession and turns your way, eyes teary and cheeks red, you haven’t seen izuku like this in a while.

the person mina said will confess to you tonight is izuku, you have a fat crush on izuku! now that’s mind blowing.

your thoughts are everywhere and nowhere, and you know the longer you stay silent and the worst izuku will expect to happen. you gather your thoughts as fast as you can and turn fully towards him.

“i adore you so much too izuku” your words are barely audible, he can barely make it out what you’re saying, but when he does, his eyes go wide and you let a giggle out. that seems to bring him back, giving you a small smile. “we could burst together” it comes out more of a question, you’re returning his smile.

at that his smile gets wider and circles his arms around you, pulling you extremely close. he tucks his face into your neck and you swear you feel tears running down from his face. when he pulls away, one of his hands find the side of your face, and presses his lips on yours. your arms round his neck and fingers disappear in his curls, his hands make their way down to your hips. his tongue swipes across your lower lip, asking for permission and you gladly gave it to him.

izuku didn’t intend on leaving your lips till you both are breathless but you leave first, making him chase after your lips and you let out a soft giggle, which makes him smile. you pull away a bit to look up at him, still not believing that he feels the same way as you. you take in his face, eyes lidded and dark, face slightly red and lips plump, slightly wet. he leans in a gives you a long peck before pulling away, moving so you sit on his lap. you play with the curls on top his head, seemingly deep in thought and izuku decides to pop the question.

“i would really like it if you became mine” he whispers, one his hand finds its way to you cheek again, caressing it. the smile on your face becomes bigger, looking at those emerald eyes that swirl in nothing but pure love and adoration.

“i would love that” you give your answer, which he was probably waiting for, quite long time. the second the words leave your lips, he stands up and twirls you two around, making both of you laugh. he sets you down on the ground and kisses you again, this time with more passion. “let’s go back inside, mina’s and ochaco’s eyes will pop if they stare out on the windows any longer” you snicker.

izuku takes a hold of your hand and you walk next to each other, both of you still trying to process everything that just happened. when you woke up, you did not expect tonight turn out this way. you look down at your fingers being laced with his, and trying not blush at the fact how his fingers were twice the size of yours.

when you two arrive back at the common room, everyone is pretending like they are doing something but when they see your hands, the girls crowd around you, all of them giving you a hug, while the boys shake izuku’s hand. the girls bring you aside, asking you to tell them everything because they did see bits, but didn’t hear anything. you gently squeeze izuku’s hand, silently letting him know that you’re leaving and he squeezed your hand back with a smile.

you’re in the middle of the story, the girls surrounded around you as you all took up a whole couch the farthest one away from the boys, when you feel like you’re being watched again and this time you found who the pair of eyes belong to.

izuku is sitting on the couch, all of the boys around him as well and they are all talking to him but his eyes never leave you. izuku couldn’t even focus on anyone else right now even if he tried, he feels like he’s high on ecstasy. the girl he’s been pining for a year now, wants him as much as he wants her. he’s yearning for real this time, and he know he won’t be able to get enough of her soft lips, gosh he’s thinking about kissing them right now. when he had you in his lap, so close to him, he wishes he could hold you just as close again. the butterflies in his stomach must be rioting because when you look back at him, he knows you feel just like how he does.

and you never felt so safe and loved under a gaze like that before.

(a few days later, izuku’s background on his phone changed from all might to the picture mina took of the two of you)

#deku x reader #izuku midoria x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x you #deku x you #izuku x you #midoriya izuku x you

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fishsticksloser · 1 year

Note

Hi :> Can i request the rise turtles confessing to the reader? Like in the middle of their confession they just begin to babble a lot, but Then the reader just gives them a short kiss on the lips and say “you talk to much <3” and just casually walks away

Love Confessions

RotTMNT x gn!reader

Warnings: aged up, mutual pinning, confession, awkwardness, eventual fluff, not written as headcanons, swearing

A/N: I am projecting so hard rn... These are long, so I put it behind a Read More to condense. :)

Donnie

You and Donnie got along really well. You'd developed quite the crush on him and he you although he wouldn't tell you that. He took you out all the time, to find mystic stuff or just search for good scrap metal he could use. Sure, most people wouldn't think anything of it, but it was a lot of fun.

"This isn't easy for me. I've never... Not like this. But... You matter to me. A lot." Donnie says as you sift through a pile of scrap.

"You matter a lot to me too, Donnie." You smile, passing him a fairly good sized piece.

"My brothers get so annoyed because of how much I talk about you." That caught your attention. You stop what you're doing, turning to him. "Stop smiling at me like that... You're going to make me fuck up..."

"Fuck up what?" You ask.

"I'm 100% sure you're all I think about. You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen." Donnie starts rambling, more reasons he 'appreciates' you. He keeps his eyes off you, nervous about what he's saying could possibly mean. "Look, I’m not sure if I’m liking this development. Now… Now it feels like I can’t go a day without thinking about you, and about how you’re doing, and if you’re doing well, and if you’re happy, and I just want to see you and talk to you and I miss you when you’re not there and— and—"

You lean forward, pressing your lips to his. His rambling stops, hand cupping the side of your face.

"You talk way to much." You laugh, pulling away from him.

"Wait... Don't." He mumbles, dragging you back to him. "Not yet."

Leo

Leo walked you back to your house after you went out to dinner. It felt like a date. Was it? Did Leo just feel too embarrassed to tell you? You 2 had known each other for quite a while, you definitely had a crush on him. Maybe you were reading too much into it.

"I had a really nice time, Leo." You smile as you get to your front door.

"Uh... Me too." He rubs the back of his neck.

"Is everything okay?" You tilt your head slightly, watching his reactions. You smile, you've never seen him this nervous.

"I just thought… Never mind. It's dumb." Leo laughs nervously.

"Come on, Leon. You can tell me anything."

"How on earth do you expect me not to fall in love with you when you look and smile at me like that?" Leo groans, dragging his hands down his face. "I’m done pretending that you’re just a friend to me when I see you so much more than that!"

He continued to ramble. You're eyes were so pretty, you laughed at all his jokes, etc. It continued, almost seeming like it would never end. So you stood on your toes, pressing your lips to his softly. He caught your waist, gently holding you close.

"If you wanted to kiss me so bad, why didn't you do it then?" You laugh.

Mikey

Mikey was your best friend, only that... Until it wasn't. You confided in Donnie your massive crush on Mikey. Donnie kept trying to get you to confess, but you were nervous. Eventually Donnie got Leo to try and convince you too. It got to the point where they left, dragging Raph with them, leaving you completely alone with Mikey.

So now you sat in Mikey's room, painting, doodling, just having fun.

"All this time I think I was bound to fall in love with you. It was only a matter of when and where." He sighs, putting down his brush.

"What?" You ask.

"I keep daydreaming about you, and it’s so distracting and annoying and I can’t stop, and it’s all because I’m in love with you and—" You quickly stop him, kissing him softly.

"Then don’t. Don’t stop daydreaming about me, don’t stop being distracted and annoyed by me. Don’t stop thinking about me. Don’t stop… Don’t stop being in love with me." You breathe. Mikey grins, kissing you again.

Raph

Raph was always so nice to you, he comforted you when you were having a bad day, he knew all the ways to make you smile. He was so genuine... You were falling so hard for this giant.

"I asked myself if I’d give you the world if I could, and yes. Yes I would. With no hesitation, I’d give you the world, if you so much as asked." He laughed. You 2 had been playing games together, but took a break to grab snacks. "So yeah, I’m pretty much fucked."

This was the first time he's ever sworn in front of you. You stared at him, open mouthed.

"I mean, I haven’t been in love with someone before but I’m pretty sure this is what being in love feels like, right?" He chuckles, looking at you. "I just really enjoy spending time with you and you really have become someone very special to me and-"

You kiss him. It was a little hard due to his height, but he was quick to help out, setting you on the counter.

"I want compensation for the mere fact that I fell way too hard for you." You laugh. He snorts at your comment. "Some bones were definitely broken on the way down."

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happysparklingshadows · 9 months

Text

A Certain Hunger (3/?)

Chapter 2 ✿ Chapter 4

Summary: Everyone is trying their best out in the woods, and it’s paying off with finding the lake and then finding an old cabin. The only problem is that every step you take you are reminded how dire the situation with the sense of dread a mummy in the attic gives.

Pairing: Surviving!Poly! Yellowjackets x reader (slow burn)

Warnings: Description of Death and Suicide, internalized homophobia, General emotional distress, and getting kissed while your eyes are closed.

Taglist: @g1rlsriot @zhivaxo @icabrth @h-doodles @somethingred7 @mika-kc @frasersgf @yaakooi @vstblrblog @jax1118 @oakwave @mmiah @dvrkhcld @wandasmainho @thewinterlunarhalo @vstblrblog @bbbexee

Word count: 14.3

‘96

The forest air was crisp and fresh as twigs snapping under your weight-birds' chirping in the trees above. It was very peaceful in an odd way for you. You have only been out in the woods for three days now, and although you were anxious about when the rescue team would find you the entire time, the environment was overwhelmingly beautiful and familiar. It's just a North American Forest with all the usual creatures like back home in New Jersey. All the lush green and brown overcome your senses with the natural odor of the wild it was comforting and made you think of your dad. It felt like you were with him somehow as you and Taissa walked through the brush to find a water source early in the morning. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out.

“Doing yoga over there?” Taissa teased as she walked beside you on the unbeaten path of the forest ahead of you. A breeze hits you both in the direction you are walking.

You chuckle and shake your head to her, “No, I am just taking in the smell. The deep forest has a smell to it. It has like this rich dirt and plant smell.”

Taissa scoffs and shakes her head at your words, and she doesn’t understand why you are so calm about the woods. Tai was trying her best not to freak out about the fact she was currently trapped in the wilderness, and she just looked over to you and saw you just calmly walking in the greenery. “I never saw you as an outdoorsy kind of girl.”

“I’m not.” You say, very tired of the topic with the other girls. “You know me, and I am more into Journalism.”

“Yeah,” Taissa says as she looks over at you, pointing a finger, she remembers as she says, “Aren’t you going to NYU for journalism?”

You chuckle and look to your feet, seeing a familiar vine slowing your walking. “Yeah, I mean, go into where your good. I think I am pretty good at journalism.”

“Wanna be like Jay Lenno?” Taissa asked as she followed your movements, her eyes scanning around to see why you slowed down. “What?”

You point to the ground, and you crouch down to the vine. You follow the vine a few inches, and white berries with black that hang gently from a black vine. “Tai, Look," You urge with a wave of your hand to Tai. Taissa looks over your shoulder as you explain, "These are Rabit food berries, at least that is what my dad calls them, and are poisonous but can be used for bail for anything.” You say as you start to pick off the white berries. “Good news is that they normally grow around water. So, hopefully, we are close.”

“Oh, foesue,” Taissa says as she leans down and looks at the berry. She takes one in her hand and investigates the little thing. “These are called Rabbit food?”

“Not formally. But that is what my dad calls them.”

“You’re dad knows a lot about this stuff.”

You forced a smile and nodded; you didn't want to talk about your dad.

As you stand up, a sharp pain shoots through your neck, and it causes you to yelp, "Ow!".

"You okay?" Taissa asked with her eyebrows furrowed in concern. You still have black eyes from the crash, and you still look like you took a beating.

"It's okay. It's just my neck is still sore. Please don't worry about it." You sigh as you put the white berries in the bandana Natalie gave you that first night. Taissa and you both walk forward toward the breeze with more confidence that you will find water.

You and Tai had a somewhat complicated relationship. Tai was second to become valedictorian, and you always seemed competitive. Tai would ask you what you got on tests and essays, comparing the results to see how to spark more rivalry. There wasn’t much there, to begin with. Still, fighting with someone with your wit was fun because there would be no other competition if it were about physical ability. Taissa never took things too far with how you two fought for the top spot. Tai bit her tongue when it was called over the intercom two weeks earlier that you were the one giving the speech at graduation. Taissa wanted to break her pencil because she had worked so hard and never got to be better than you, but she always knew you were a worthy opponent. Taissa was your friend like the other senior yellowjackets. Still, your relationship was more superficial with her than with Shauna or even Misty Quigley. There was an air of performance and a level of standoffishness.

“Congratulations on the Valedictorian spot again,” Taissa says softly to you. You were always so pretty to her.

“Thank you, Tai!” you said happily. You were very proud of yourself for that, and you look over to her and say, “I guess it’s pretty good that we both are here to make sure everyone’s head screwed on right.”

Taissa chuckles at your joke as the both of you see the lake off on the horizon on the hill. It looked like someone would have to go down the hillside, and a few miles past a little more forest, you would get to the shore. Taissa doesn’t say anything before she runs ahead of you, closer to the hill's edge.

You sigh as your feet beg you to stop moving and lie down. You needed to keep moving, and you needed to make sure everyone was okay. You had reminded yourself of everything your father said in passing on your many trips, and you knew a big one was water and then shelter on the list. The last couple of days has made you more adventurous than you ever like to be, as you had to do something as the anxiety was eating you alive. You speedwalk behind the very fast Tai, who stopped at the treeline that dropped off into a beach.

“If it weren’t so deep in these woods, it would be a private beach,” you thought as you panted behind Taissa. The air was sweet and relaxed with the breeze of the tide, and it didn’t stop the drop of sweat that rolled down your neck.

“Fucking finally,” You sigh out with a groan. You look around the water and see lily pads a little ways off, and on the side are rocks that a small turtle rests on. The lake looks promising and has everything that the group needs right now.

Taissa doesn’t show much emotion toward the water; more of a confirmation of its existence. She turns back and pulls your arm to walk the other 6 miles back to the plane. You while as you follow behind her, she says, “We have to tell the others and move camp there.”

You felt yourself pause a little bit at the way she said that. It sounded like a demand, and injured people couldn’t travel this distance without the whole team working together. There was a confirmed 15 people alive from the plane crash, luckily, all your friends survived with some injuries, but 4 of them were working with painful wounds. Ashely, a sophomore, was burned so badly on her face that her cheek is producing puss now; Misty is sure it is third-degree. Ashely has been in and out of pain and can’t walk even though she is fully intact, and couch Ben is working with one less leg.

“Tai, I don’t think we should move so quickly.” You say as you walk behind her, both determined to meet the others.

Tai scoffs and looks over her shoulder with a narrowed eye, “Why’s that? We’re running out of food and water by the hour.”

“Yes, but people aren’t going to do it so quickly. We have to think about the injured-”

“We’ll carry them, and we can’t stay put, (y/n).”

You roll your eyes as you say a little more transparently, “Tai, you are not going to make people want to move with that approach.” she stops herself to look at you. She is annoyed, and you can sense that you sigh and explain, “People are still in shock, okay? A fucking Plane crash happened, and no one has fucking found the box. Everyone is emotional about it still, and we cannot come at them like it’s a demand. Everything is different now, and we all need some time.”

“Then, they can stay there until rescue gets here.” She stood firm. She put her hands on her hips as she looked at you with a tilted head.

You feel yourself get even more frustrated, and you start to say with a sterner voice, “We’re not leaving anyone behind. We are leaving altogether or staying together, Tai; there is no other way it will work.”

“Okay, what do you think we should do if you think my idea is bullshit.”

“I don’t think your idea is bullshit, but it is insensitive to the people who just fucking lost everything.” You whisper yell to her, not even wanting the chance that someone could hear your argument from the camp. “The guys lost their dad, and we all lost someone we knew in the crash, Tai. People are emotional, and people are scared. We have to be united when we tell them about the water. We introduce it gently and let them all decide when to go.” Tai grew quiet as she looked at you, watching you continue. ”I think we should hold a vote on when we should go because you are right,” You nod to her, and Tai seems slightly taken back that you would tell her, “I think we should move to the lake.”

“Then what do we do?”

“We need to bury the bodies.” You remind as you walk up a slight incline in the path. “We can leave after we bury them or tomorrow morning. It’s not a question that we are going.”

“So, the ones that want to stay have to move with us.” Taissa agreed with a slight nod of her head. She then says as if it was a little painful. “You’re right.”

“Okay, So we will do that.” You diplomatically ask her again for confirmation before you start planning your morning announcements to the team. “We have food and water now; We need to build a shelter of some kind.”

“You think we will be here that long to need it?”

“No, I hope we won’t.” You say back, your voice trying to stay positive. “But what if a storm comes by? We’re not in a good place for that, even with the plane, which I don’t think I would even want to step in again.”

“Agreed… But how do we build a shelter? We'll make a teepee or something?”

“I am thinking like dig out and skinny fallen tree logs because this place is covered with them. And figure it out together because I don’t know everything.”

Taissa chuckle and shakes her head. She sarcastically says, “I don’t think that is true.”

“Trust me, I don’t.” You chuckle back and continue your way back to camp.

After walking for another 30ish minutes on your aching feet, you finally reach the group. Excited and happy to finally have some good news for them.

Van, Laura Lee, Travis, and Natalie have been working for a few days on digging pits. Today they were digging the last ones, trying to give their friends and even the people they didn’t know a “right” burial, as Laura Lee had Insisted we give them. A few days earlier, She came to the group while you were giving a morning announcement and said that anyone that is “abled body needs to help because this is the right thing to do. God would want us to do it, and I think even they would want us to do that.”.

And you did. How could you tell Laura Lee she was wrong?

You're panting as you stop walking and lean against a tree by the primary fire. The other girls work on their little things, discuss what they plan for the summer, and other helping others feel better with their wounds. Another pain shoots through your neck again as you turn it too quickly to the left to look around. You calm your breathing from your long hike and feel yourself have enough air to be okay again.

“Okay, let’s eat before I start talking.” You announce to the team as you pull out the ration box, and Van follows behind you, kneeling down to take inventory.

“This is all we have?” Jackie asks.

“Yeah,” Van says.

“We just have to ration. We split everything in half and eat until we don’t feel hungry. Let’s cut them up.” You say, reassuring everyone. You smile and say, “These are really calorie dense, so we will be okay."

Van comes closer to Shauna and shows her how to cut the rations. Shauna is listening to this very intently, and she starts to cut. You hand the water bottle to Akilah and say, “Split the water up evenly."

Shauna says to Jackie beside you, “Close your eyes and pretend it’s bacon.”

Jackie eats it; happily, she always was a food person. You remember when you were in middle school, and her mother passed out from too much Xanax, so Jackie cooked a late-night dinner that would make her mom go crazy to see her eating more than an almond before bed. Jackie made pizza out of dough in the fridge and stuff lying around, and to this day, you think it was the best pizza you ever had. You chuckle as you eat your share of the Mary cakes.

“I am more of a pancakes and syrup girl.” Jackie jokes as she finishes her breakfast of a Mary Cake. You chuckle and nod, “I am feeling pancakes too, Jackie. Shauna is just a carnivore.” You joke.

Shauna purses her lip and holds in a laugh at the joke, shaking her head. Jackie laughed and nodded, “You remember when Shauna ate that burger the size of your head?”

You all laugh at the joke, and you nod your head. You feel your first moment of ease. You didn’t feel pain in your neck and in your heart. Shauna laughed this time and covered her mouth, “Oh my god, it was like she unhinged her jaw!” You reminisce and laugh.

Jackie starts to scratch her thigh again, and both you and Shauna give her a look.

“Hey, Misty said, don’t scratch. It can get infected.”

“If poison Ivy’s what kills me out here, then I deserve to die.” Jackie joked. You pushed her arm and gave her another look.

“Hey, no pessimism. You’re too tough to die from poison Ivy… But please don’t go to the bathroom before you wash your hands.” You warned lightly with a chuckle.

“What will happen if I go to the bathroom, (Y/n)?”

“You will get it on your pussy girl.” You say curtly because you didn’t want to sugarcoat poison ivy on your vagina. “It would be excruciating.”

“Would you know?”

“No, I am not stupid, though.” You chuckle and smile at her. You take a drink of your water and eat some berries. Unaware behind you that Travis was stealing more than his share.

“Hey!” Akilah says to him as he walks over to her and steals a whole Mary cake.

“What are you doing?” Van asks.

“Uh, maybe you didn’t notice, but we’re in a situation here, Flex.” Lottie insults as Travis walks off with a whole Mary Cake instead of a half one.

“Don’t,” Natalie warns sharply.

Travis turns back and glares at all of us.

“Who died and made him king of snacks?” Lottie whispers to the group.

“His dad, Lottie. His fucking dad.”

“Nat’s right. We should cut him some slack.” Jackie remarked to the group.

“I guess it’s fine if we all starve to death as long as Travis’s feelings are okay.” Mari sassed.

“We’re not gonna starve to death. Okay? When the rescue team gets here-”

“IF it gets here.” Van cuts in on Jackie to make her point of pessimism.

“Okay, we’re not going say that.” You sharply say to Van. She looks up at you, surprised you spoke up at the moment. You shared a look of her telling you that you can’t say that, and you continued to speak. “We’re not going to kill the hope around here, okay? We must be there for each other right now, but we must be smart. Travis will not do that again because we need to ration. You’re right, Mari. But look around, you guys,” You stop to put your arms out like your dad once did when you were young. Everyone looks around like you said, “It’s summer in a fertile forest. We’ll be okay. We just need to be smart.”

You say as you put your backpack on your shoulders and look at the others. You stand up and say, “We’re all we have right now. We all survived a plane crash. We’re all on edge and emotional. We all must acknowledge that and try not to take things personally until the rescuers come, okay? Because I am a fucking wreck right now, and I know you all are too. We can do nothing but work together and be there for each other. Let’s try our best and be nice to each other now because if anyone will ever understand what we are going through is except each other.”

“Okay, Let’s do it,” Jackie says as she looks up to you with a smile. The others agreed with some groans and complaints, but they agreed.

“Okay, everyone, on another subject, Me and Taissa found a lake when we went out this morning. We saw it over the hill and thought we knew how to get to it from there. It looks about four or five miles away.”

“Do you think we can hike it, (Y/n)?” Shauna asks skeptically.

“Yes, We need to help Coach Ben and take turns carrying him, but we can make it. It’s a little rocky and goes uphill a few times, but yeah.” You say with a smile and look around the team. All seem ready to move and get some distance from the plane; however, Jackie is seemingly fighting with herself about how she will speak. “But, I want to leave it to the team to decide when we should go. We need to go to the water, but should we go after the burial or tomorrow morning?”

“Uh, we, uh, we can’t-we can’t just leave,” Jackie spoke as she awkwardly rose from her spot. She is hesitant.

“Jackie, I know it is scary. But we only have two days of water and don’t have enough food to go around. If it takes them a while to find us, they'll look for the closest body of water for us.”

“But what if the rescue team comes?”

“We’ll leave an SOS on the plane saying we are at the lake and make an SOS on the lake to let them know we are here.” You said before Taissa was going to speak. You didn’t want to kill hope; you didn’t want to kill your own, you just kept it together like you know how.

“What do you think, Coach?” Laura Lee asked him. You follow her voice to him, and you see Misty beside him.

“I don’t-I don’t know,” He says, “I mean, you’d have to leave me behind, I guess, but whatever-”

“That is ridiculous. That is never going to happen.” You shut him down and continued on to your point. “We will build a stretcher out of what we have lying around. Misty took a first-aid class, and they have shown you how to do it, right?”

Misty’s eyes widened that you were speaking to her in the circle like she was important. She smiled shyly and, slightly embarrassed, said, “Kinda-”

“Then we will make one and take turns-”

Jackie laughs in disbelief that we are still talking about leaving. “No. This-This is bullshit. No. No way.”

“Okay, fine. All in favor of waiting here until we don’t have any water?” You say, still twisting it to go to the lake. No one but Jackie raises their hand, she looks over to Shauna, and she doesn’t still. Jackie lost control of you, and now Shauna. She looks around, and no one does. Eventually, Mari and Laura Lee raise their hands.

“All in favor of going to the lake?” You say you raise your hand as Taissa beside you does as well. Everyone else raises their hand.

You nod your head and say as Jackie quiets herself in anger. “Alright, we’re going to the lake. All in favor of leaving tomorrow.”

Jackie, Laura Lee, Mari, Coach Ben, and Misty raise their hands.

“All in favor of leaving after the burial?”

Everyone else raises their hand. You nod again. “Alright, we are leaving after the burial. The vote is in. Let’s pack up our things, eat before we leave, get anything we can, and we will all help Misty with the stretcher. Okay?”

Everyone says “Yes,” “Sure,” and nods. Everyone leaves to do their jobs as Jackie seems to sulk away, and Shauna, knowing she angered Jackie, goes off to help Misty.

You look over to Jackie, who is sulking and feel really bad. It felt like a pit was growing just a little more in your stomach.

“Jackie-”

“Leave me alone.”

“I’m not like that, Jackie, you know that,” you say as you sit beside her. She is having a hard time right now, and you know she is more anxious than anything. You always knew how to talk to Jackie. “I’m sorry that we have to leave the plane.”

“I don’t think we should go. What if they get here and we’re not here?”

“Well, We’ll make a sign on the plane that we’re at the lake, and then we can make a sign at the lake. If anything, they could see the shore of a lake more than in these dense woods.” You say and look up to the leaves, it’s tough to see the sky, and even with the trees that cleared for the plane, the sky was not clear. Just the ribbons of light that sneaked in between the leaves. “Look up.”

Jackie looks up and looks at the trees. “A rescue plane or helicopter would have difficulty seeing the crash because it would look like a natural opening instead of a crash landing. But if there is a big opening and three signs, we were here. They will know we are here, you know.” You reassure.

Jackie nods but still looks conflicted. She itches her under the thigh and just sighs, “Fine. Whatever.”

“It sucks, I know…” You say as you look at her hand travel to her thigh. You then say, “Do you have anything for that? Do you want me to take a look to see what it is-”

“No, It’s fine.” Jackie declared and looked at you pointedly with her big eyes.

“Okay…” You say, but you move to your bag next to her, pull out your bottle of lotion and put it at her feet. You get up and move to see what you can do before the burial.

Jackie sighed as she took your lotion and put it on her thigh, it was Eczema cream, and it soothed the poison ivy on the back of her knee and thigh. She sighed in relief and felt more at ease with her childhood friend, “Still in the trio.” Jackie thought as she reluctantly spread the moisturizer on her rash.

Van, Misty, and you finish placing the last pile of dirt on the dead. Your hands felt like everything you touched was a dream. Almost everything was surreal. Even the greens around you seemed alien right now, and you didn’t have the will to speak. “Not now, not right now.” You remind yourself as you pat the dirt on Coach Ben’s leg. Tears fell mindlessly down your cheeks. You didn’t have the strength to hold back your tears, wordlessly putting the makeshift shovel onto the ground and standing next to Shauna and Jackie.

“Before we took off, I heard Reachel say she would see Oasis at the meadowlands next month. She was really excited… And she is never gonna hear “Wonderwall” again.” Van spoke when we all stood around the homemade gravestones made from scrap metal.

“Come on.” Laura Lee gently urged everyone. “Let’s join hands. We’ll pray for them. ”

You grab onto Shauna’s hand, feeling the soft skin of her palm and fingers as you squeeze her for comfort as she does the same. A familiar ritual of you ever since you two were children, holding and comforting. You hold Jackie’s clammy delicate hand, she squeezes your hand, and you squeeze back. Holding the hands of the girls you played with in the sandbox when you were just a little girl felt more reassuring than you thought. Seeing your closest friends were safe and holding hands together made you feel so much relief. Knowing that so many people, 23, have died in a crash that should have killed you all sobered your happiness.

“Rachel, you just moved up from JV, so we didn’t know you. But, in Trig, you never confuse your secants and your cosecants. You seemed really smart. Anyone else?”

“I saw her carry a flute case once,” Van blurted out.

“She wore Revlon Goldpearl Plum. She let me borrow it at Homecoming last year.” You added as fat tears rolled down your plumb cheeks.

“Oh, Lord, please accept Reachel Goldman into your arms so she may fill your kingdom with music.” Laura Lee said with closed eyes, and yu felt your heartbreak at those words. Rachel’s family probably would have agreed with Laura Lee and would have been happy to know people cared for her enough to give her a respectful burial. Still, they didn’t know she had died. They’re probably hoping she is alive, thinking that somehow like you, she was standing fine, just needing to be found, but it would never happen. You felt a sob nest in your chest. “Please accept Coach Martinez into your glory, too—and flight attendant Janet, Pilot Robert, and Pilot Fred. And the people we didn’t know the names of, please allow them everlasting peace. Even though I walk through the Valley of the shadow of death, take them into your kingdom, Father. Reunite them in your love. Amen.”

Everyone prayed, “Amen.”

Taissa left the circle alone, and everyone started packing for the journey to the lake.

‘21

Shauna

Jeff is cheating on me, and he is telling me anything. Just keeps saying that he is staying back for the data inventory.

You

Okay

You

Wow

You

You need to get proof. I would follow him and see what is up. And if he is, then you get even girl.

Shauna

You read my mind lol

Shauna

By the way, Callie wants to know what you think of her Instagram post.

Shauna

I don’t really know what she is talking about?

You

Girl, she looked great. I didn’t comment on it like I normally do lol! Tell her I think she looks gorgeous in purple!

Shauna

What did she post?

You

A coffee shop pic with her boyfriend. She was wearing a little purple sundress!!!

You

Very pretty!! 💕🫶✨

You

Go on Instagram and like it for her

Shauna

Girl what

You

You are too attached to Facebook

Shauna

Don’t tell me what I am

You

Shauna, you need to use other social media to see all your cute daughter's pictures and stalk her location.

Shauna

You can do that???

You

Fuck yeah, why do you think I have a fucking Instagram lol

Shauna

Does Jeff have one?

You

It looks like you got a lead Shipmen Xxx

“(Y/n), your quiet back there? How is your dating life going?”

Natalie scoffed and looked over to Misty in the passenger seat. You sat behind Natalie in the car with your attention on your phone. You used yourself as a buffer for Misty to talk to and for Natalie to speak when she wanted to, but it seemed very noticeable when you silenced yourself.

“Um… Happily single right now and longtime committed to my purple rabbit.” You joke to Misty as you put your phone in your purse.

Natalie chuckled at your comment, and Misty seemed unhappy with how vulgar you were.

“Seriously, you haven’t been out dating anyone? You look amazing for your age.” Misty reassured you that it was why you were not looking out there. Acting like she didn’t know why you were so closed off from ever having to learn another person intimately again and why you would naturally be turned off from it.

“I know I do. My tits still sit on the top of my chest, just sometimes when I sit down, they hit my stomach.” You joke again about age with the two other women. Both laughing at the truth of the comment, Misty snorts a little and fixes her classes. “Tell me about it!” Misty laughed.

“How long till, uh, we get to Travis’s?” Natalie cut in and asks, clearly not enjoying her time in the car with either of you.

"Uh, Three hours and 24 minutes,” Misty reports, and Natalie sighs deeply at the answer. “I-I totally get it. You know, not dating anyone right now. At our age, it’s like all the available ones are crumbs at the bottom of a chip bag.” Misty chuckles. Misty looks down at her phone and says a soft, “Oh. Mostly.”

Natalie scoffs as Misty texts the other person on the phone, “Got a whole chip?”

You chuckle at that, and you see her eyes looking in the review mirror at you. Your eyes meet for a second.

“Just a friend. For now.” Misty chuckles, then laughs softly as she texts the other person at the end.

You looked out the window as you watched the trees passing you by, not hearing any more of the conversation that had lulled now. You felt happy that Misty found someone. But you wanted to cut the person's throat on the other end. Would they hurt Misty? Make Fun of her? The thought of Misty getting used or taken advantage of makes you feel a part of you digress and growl. Something primal and not right, but you can’t stop how familiar it all feels and how safe you are in Its presence.

Natalie drives to a gas station before you can cut yourself out of your thoughts. You remain quiet as your phone vibrates with more texts from Shauna. You couldn’t muster the will to look down at them right now.

“I’m starving,” Natalie says as she takes the keys out of the car. “You want to go grab something while I gas up?” Natalie asked. Her voice gave off the edge and some kind of motive behind them. And Misty was too smart not to catch that.

“Oh!” Misty says and fixes her glasses, “Well, I don’t know what you like. Maybe you should come with me,” She smoothly lied.

You slightly smirk because you knew from reading the room that Misty was scared that you and Natalie would ditch her.

“Chocolate’s good.” Natalie bluntly stated. It didn’t ease the tension.

“Um. well, there’s dark and milk and white.” Misty listed

“Surprise me.” Natalie smoothly stated as she looked Misty down a little. Her black-lined eyes give her a sharper tilt to her gaze. She looked like she could take a bite right out of you.

“Okay,” Misty said very fakely. It caused you to chuckle and grab the back of the headrest of her seat. You lean forward and touch her shoulder.

“I’d like some spicy peanuts and maybe something salty.”

Misty grimaces as she looks at you with a pointed look, “Spicy food? We have another 6 hours on the road there and back. Let alone the time we will spend seeing Travis!” Misty countered you.

You raise an eyebrow and say, “That was very rotten of you to say that.”

“That was not rotten to say that- you know what! I will get you something good.” Misty says as she exits the car, looking cautiously at Natalie again.

Natalie scoffs as she sees Misty walk away, and she immediately starts looking into the glove box of the minivan.

“Okay.” Natalie mocks as she starts to look around the car as Misty walks into the station

“What did she do?” You chuckle humorlessly as you lean against the leather seat.

Natalie doesn’t speak to you as she looks in the front and into the glove box. She pulled out a car plug that had the words Porsche on them.

“Fucking knew it.” She whispers to herself and throws it back. She looks at you and says, “She fucking took my spark plug.”

‘What?!” You say as you lean back up forward.

“Misty can’t be trusted… That little snake.” Natalie sighs to you as she turns to look at you.

“When has anyone trusted that Misty Quigley wouldn’t do something crazy for attention.” You lamented with her; you took a deep breath and told her in the sense of trust between you two. “You should have known better than letting her think you want her back in some way.”

“I didn’t.”

“You did. And because you did, I did. So here we are.”

“I didn’t need you to come to save me. Just back off. I am here to check on Travis, and you can go back to your fucking cave.”

“You shouldn’t have let on you were looking for him, you gave Misty enough to follow you, and you should know better. We all know your dirt, and we all know you, whether you like it or not. You are a fucking bomb waiting to go off, and you have been running away for a long time.” You hiss at her and look at her sharply in the eyes. Her baby blue eyes stare back at yours. An old familiar primal surge comes over you as you feel like you have been in this moment before.

“Well, I don’t need any fucking help, and I don’t need you telling me about Misty Fucking Quigley.” Natalie spat at you as she left the car with a slam of the door.

You sat in the car with pursed lips. You didn’t like the energy that was in the car anymore. You didn’t know why you had an outburst like that with her. But how fucking dare she talk to you like that. You have been kind to her, and she has been an asshole to you all day; you have had it.

Misty returns to the car with a grocery bag and jerky in the other. Misty chats with Natalie outside the car before she comes into the car with a snarl.

“Someone is in a bad mood.”

“A fucking horrible mood.”

“Do you need to curse so much?”

“What did you get me, baby cakes?” You changed the subject as you looked over her shoulder. She hands you two bags and an icy bottle of water. It is honey-roasted peanuts and Chipotle Jerky. You smile because at least she got you something spicy, and a craving was honored; she was very kind in her odd way.

“Aw, Misty, this is perfect, thank you. You’re right. I would have had a stomach ache if I ate all the spicy nuts.”

“I know.”

“Shh. Silence.”

Misty chuckles as she takes another bite of her jerky. You rip open your bag and greedily take the spiced meat to pieces into your hand. You sink your teeth into the dried beef as the strains separate in your mouth, with each muscle strain salted and flavorful. It was sweetly smoked by some kind of wood as the cayenne and chili danced on your tongue. It was similar to a Mexican taco you had in upstate New York that wasn’t that authentic but something that made you come back for more. You moan as you relish in the guilty pleasure of still loving a good piece of jerky even after everything that happened. Sometimes your thoughts haunt you. “What if I liked it?” you thought sometimes as you chewed down on the juicy meat that reminded you of them.

“Misty, try some.”

“I don’t like spicy food, honey.” Misty’s voice was plain with reticence as she took the meat from your fingers.

“Try it, please, Misty.” You say a little sweeter, and you eat another yourself.

Misty takes the piece into her mouth as Natalie enters the car; she sided eyes both of you as she says, “Jerky, really?”

“Yeah, it’s good.” You say back to her with an old tone you had thought you had lost. It felt odd having two of your old friends back, and it made some things come out of you again.

“Your right, honey; that is not bad.”

“Right!”

‘96

Soon after the burial, people grouped up and prepared to leave from the plane to the lake. You walked in the back with Jackie, for a while, and Mari. The beginning of your hike was comprised of Mari talking to you and Jackie about Theo Stevens in her Bio class, who has been giving her a lot of side eyes, which as a good friend you feed into her fantasy that he was “so checking her out.”

The hike took as long as you remember, but it seemed longer for the whining of Jackie and Mari, who seemed to bond significantly on the trip through their complaints. Every step felt like a mile. Sores on your heels and big toe, but you didn’t even have the energy to voice your pain. You can see Coach Ben struggling for the last 40 minutes with Misty and Marissa ahead of you, the two girls having trouble moving him. It felt like complaining about a hang nail to someone with a bullet wound; it didn’t stop Jackie and Mari, but it sure as fuck stopped you.

After a while, you and Taissa were sure you were off the trail you found earlier, but you were going in the same direction; you two came to the conclusion that you all would “eventually get to the lake.”. Tai insisted that she would keep leading the hiking party and she could do her own thing with Van beside her.

Every other minute, You take your pocket knife and cut a heart on the trees to make a guide back to the plane, and suddenly a rotten horrendous smell comes to your nose. You gag to yourself but caught the ears of Jackie and Mari behind you.

“What?” Jackie huffed as she looked over your shoulder to see your twisted face.

“I don’t know, You don’t smell that?” You ask.

Lottie and Jackie, now even Tai notice that the back has stopped. “Smell what?”

“I don’t know-” You started and were cut off by Natalie.

“Holy shit.” She says, taken back. You look at what she is talking about as all the yellowjackets walk forward, a gutted bear. The sound of flies and maggots comes to your ear before your eyes can register what is in front of you as you all continue hiking. The chest of the black bear was torn open down to its navel, small and large intestines sprawled out of the wound with semi-dried blood seeping out of the pores of the organs, innards from up in the cavity shredded down to the bottom. The beast was abused by whatever killed it before it died from the exposed flesh under the thick brown fur. A crow proudly sits on top the dead animal, picking on the remaining leftovers of meat.

“Oh, God, I’m gonna puke,” Jackie complained as she walked behind you.

“What could have done that?” Shauna queried the group, her brown eyes looking straight at the bear. Worry set in her eyes.

“Probably wolves. They move in packs and fight in packs. Nothing can survive them. Not even a bear.” You say, offhandedly, something not too problematic because it was only natural for wolves to be in these woods. You kept walking.

“They can kill a fucking bear?” Natalie was amazed and horrified.

“Oh, yeah. Wolves can kill anything if its pack is big enough.” You say your eyes haven’t moved an inch from the bloody bear. You blink a few times before you snap out of it. You start to lead the hiking team, “Let’s get moving. We’re almost to the water.”

“What do we do if wolves come, (Y/n)?” Misty asks you. She stares at the bear before looking forward again. Everyone seemed to be engrossed with the brutal proof of nature’s violence, it’s ugly and gross, but it was real. It seemed more natural to you than you being in those woods.

“We are a big pack ourselves. We would probably scare them away if we sitck together. Let’s not get too worried… We should only worry if it’s a pack of 30 or something.”

“Very comforting.” Natalie snarked as she walked ahead of you. And you didn’t have the energy to say anything more. You just look at your feet and walk, letting yourself be quiet momentarily.

The woods always had that kind of power. They make you still for a few moments to just breathe and let it in. It makes you think clearer because of the green, or the breeze, of the freedom in the trees. It used to make you quiet and grateful for the peaceful views, but only now, it seems to ground you differently.

You miss your mom and dad. You miss your mom a lot and just want to call her. To tell her that everything was okay, that you were okay. That everything was just a stupid mistake and you were alive, and coming home in a few days. Your mom should have taken her medicine a few hours ago, and what if your dad couldn’t give it to her? What if your dad was off at work, and they both don’t know anything yet? They will find out in a few days when none of you return. Or do they know this story? Is it all over the news with your parents demanding answers, worried sick about you? You know how much they love you and how much this hurts them because it is hurting you. It hurts more than your black eyes and your achy neck.

A sinking hole.

It felt like a dreading hole that burrowed into your chest. It felt neverending, and it caused your breathing to hurt.

Worst of all, when you felt the sharp jolt of pain of neck when you moved your head to the side too much or too fast, was becoming overbearing. Every deep breath or pant causes a pain to spread down your upper back. It was getting to you as you felt a thump with every step. You wanted to float in the water; sweat was on your brow and collecting in your shirt.

You just kept walking with your eyes on your shoes, looking at the moss and dead leaves, when your thoughts wandered. Thankfully, Van stopped your thoughts by finding the lake and screaming for everyone to follow her.

“Come On, Let’s go!” She squeals with the others. Shauna, Jackie and you just followed behind with a second wind of excitement. It felt like running with marbles in your shoes at this point, but you couldn’t seem to care as the water welcomed you with open arms from the Sun’s heat. Van starts ripping off her shirt as she runs in front of you. She takes the scrunchie out of her hair and haphazardly throws it with her shirt. You start laughing out of happiness, and before you can even think, before the words of your father come to mind, you take off your backpack and throw your luggage with it. You stop at your personal pile, snatch off your shirt, and tug off your bottoms.

Behind you were the girls that ran past you. Their eyes seemed to be engrossed by the view in their way. Many have known you for a long time, some from childhood, and they have never seen your body. Brown, green, and blue eyes are all seen to scan you as the first- and second-year students happily stripped to swim in the lake. The girls didn’t know what to do besides study the curve of your side, the way your body naturally plumped in places. It was beautiful. The way that your back seemed more sensual from this angle of your bending down to put down your shirt, then when you sway your hips side to side to tug the bottoms off of yourself, seemed to make a reaction out of some of them.

Misty, helping bring Coach Ben to the shore, felt a mass tingling at the sight alone. She saved the image in her mind forever. Shauna swimming out with Lottie, Laura Lee, and Van all seemed to lull their splashing as they tried to call to you but were silenced by how your skin looked bare in the sun for a second.

Shauna was breathless and nervous, guilty of what she did and what she felt for Jackie. Now something new came over her for you again. She wanted to bury it like she buried her feelings for Jackie. Shauna looks away quickly.

Lottie studied you without shame; she always knew of the pneumatic way your body was shaped and hidden underneath your clothes. However, she was ashamed of herself and didn’t want anyone to see her seeing you like that. She thought they would see she was in love with you with just one look.

As you pass Jackie, Mari, and Natalie, when Travis splashes them with the cold water, saying a blunt, “Travis, no one likes you.” before diving into the cold lake. Natalie scanned down your body. She has always admired you and your kindness, but as you made fun of Travis it made something tug in Natalie’s chest. Nat always knew that if there was a girl she would be with, it was you. She cowardly looks away and talks to Jackie and Mari. Natalie hides in the conversation with them about Travis. How he is hot, Natalie disagrees and wants to say something about you but bites her tongue.

You swim over to Shauna, Lottie, and Van and splash water onto them. Giggling and laughing out of control. You start playing tug of war in the water with Shauna on your shoulders. Shauna sightly squeezes her thighs and muffles your ears, she feels you against her, and she quickly moves to her position like she is adjusting her seat on your shoulders.

You and Van hold eye contact; she smiles at you widely and happily. Her emerald eyes shine back into your (e/c) eyes, and a small conversation is shared without words. It was just a little humor between you two, it made you happy, even when you and Shauna were pushed back into the water. Van is laughing and loving spending time with you but is happier that she won. Vanessa and Taissa share a look together, as Taissa rebraids Akilah’s hair. For a long time, they had been together, and for a long time, you seemed to be the only subject the two seemed to avoid speaking about. But when Van looks over to Taissa, who was checking you out just as much as Van was, the two seem to realize something at that moment.

You swim away with Lottie after everyone gets tired from playing. You two just float lazily in the water, holding hands. You feel relaxed for the first time in days, and the neck pain subsides. Lottie lets go of your hand to swim slightly off, but she stops. Standing on the sand with her toes buried into it to stand firm as she watched something in the distance, you stood yourself and saw a shining reflection of something in the trees.

“Guys!” Lottie shouts. She points with a wary smile, “Look.”

Everyone sees what you see. It’s a cabin up the hill to the left. It felt like some kind of prayer was answered this morning. It makes you smile and laugh manically as you quickly swam back to the shore. The others follow behind you with hope racing through them. You tell everyone as they are on shore.

“Okay, we found something up that hill. It’s some kind of reflections of a window. So, injured, rest here, and we will check it out and see if it is okay to go into. Misty, Uh, honestly, Anyone who isn’t a senior, stay here with the injured and rest. Senior Yellowjackets, Let’s check this place out!” You say excitedly and tell the girls, “We’ll come get you as soon as we know it is safe to go in there.”

“Girls, be careful.” Coach Ben says to you guys as you start running away. He doesn’t care much at the moment was you all run off, he is lost in his own head.

You and the others start running up the hill with your shoes wet from the lake and your clothes sticking to your body from the water. You and the other seniors rush up the incline to what could be the only break you have found in these dense woods.

‘21

As you expected, you were arrested shortly after when Natalie smashed the window of Travis's front door when you got there. It felt wrong going into his home unannounced, let alone breaking in, after not seeing him in decades. Misty was being a little detective and Natalie looked a little emotional looking over her old best friends things. You were out of place, you and Travis have no connection outside of the crash. It felt like how it did many times out there in the woods, a dulling and distance that you built to cope with the horrors out there. But, it never left you after you were saved. You felt this way sometimes when you get too stressed or sad. You‘re on autopilot and you don't act out of character, even when you are fully checked out. When you check back in after your adrenaline dies down, you were sitting next to Misty and still talking. Misty was talking about her bird, Caligula, and how because he is a Hyacinth Macaw that he couldn't eat most bird seed. Natalie was out taking her first call.

“How is your dad doing?” Misty asked next to you. “I heard you put him in a nursing home.”

“Yeah, He started needing medication a lot and constant care. But he is still doing good for a 89 year old.”

Misty nods, “He is a good guy. He always helped me with my car when I came over.”

“I mean, how could he be not friendly to you? You were the one to come over to see his weird daughter.”

“You weren’t weird!” Misty protested and turned to look at you. Her ashy blonde curls bounced. “You were so cool! I came over every night!”

You chuckle, and you bump shoulders with Misty. You say to her, “We were weird together. Thank you for being my friend back then.”

“I am still your friend.”

“I know. I want to be close again.” You confess to her as you look into her brown eyes. She is flustered, and you can tell, “You have no idea how much I missed you in New York, Misty. I didn’t have my friend-” You stop yourself from getting emotional. You remember leaving for NYU in 2002 and how you had to leave your home.

“I-I would like that too.”

“You remember when you fed me soup after my neck surgery?”

Misty chuckled, fixing her glasses, “You spit soup on me.” She laughed.

“You made me laugh!” You giggle at her and lean on her shoulder again. Your neck aches slightly from the angle, but it didn’t hurt like when you were younger.

“Alright, Misty Quigley, you have your phone call.” The police officer cut into the conversation and held Natalie by the arm as he walked her back into the cell. Misty left, and You were left with Natalie.

You feel yourself come back to your body when you realize you will be alone with Natalie again, and right now doesn’t seem like a good time to be chatty.

“I don’t try to be a bomb, you know.” Natalie said to you randomly as she leaned against the wall. She is finally talking about what you said in the car.

There is a moment you don’t know what to say. You didn’t even know if this is still real anymore. You simply say, “I know you don’t, Nat.”

“You were right. I shouldn’t have given Misty enough to follow me so you and her didn’t have to be in all this mess.”

You look at her with more softness than you want to. You felt a tenderness to the sound of her voice still. After all this time, Natalie still had her way with words to make you miss who she once was. Primal and passionate, with no fear except death. A free time and a time that seemed to linger in the words you spoke together. The roles you played never left your head, even as you saved yourselves in your own ways, and it still lingered in the way you talk together.

“Uh, I don’t mind.” You joke as you smile at her, trying to make things better. You don’t know why she left you alone that night years ago, and you didn’t even want to know. You want her to be okay. “I would rather be here with you than you be alone.”

Natalie scoffs softly to herself and looks at her shoes, “Don’t say that.”

“Why?”

“You shouldn’t be here. You, out of everyone, don’t need to be here… I'm sorry.”

“All forgiven if you get us out of here.” You say and look over to the cops that work at their desks. You know you should be mad, even vengeful, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel any of that. “I haven’t lived in a while. I have been a hermit for the last 20 years. This doesn’t hurt me too much.”

“All forgiven?” Natalie raised an eyebrow. She looks at you sharply at your choice of words. It seemed to hit something inside of her that she didn’t want to have poked.

“I-I didn’t mean-”

“We’re not there anymore, (Y/n). You don’t have the power to forgive anything. Or anyone.” Natalie said as she felt the need to remind you of your own part in the past. As someone who was ashamed and scared but always forgave others. You made them feel forgiven for something more significant. But you didn’t have the power. You never did. You can’t forgive the sins you all have done.

It eats you whole.

“You’re right. You’re not forgiven, Natalie.” You chided as if you had no control over your tone and words. It felt exposing to have her see through you and see you still holding onto the comfort in your old power. The power in who you thought you were when you 18, with the powers that you all thought you found in the mountains, that had never truly left you. But you know she hasn't let go of the past too. “I don’t have the power to do so, but you have wronged me like many others. You can’t make my forgiveness anything more than it is, You already did that, and it didn’t take you that far, don’t make me your scapegoat again.”

Natalie scoffed as Misty came back with a smile with the same police officer. “Looks like it’s your lucky day. Someone posted your bail.”

You didn’t even feel real. You weren’t supposed to be here.

‘96

Your feet are numb as you try to run stiffly beside the other seniors to the cabin up the hill. The only sign of human hands that have ever touched these woods for what seemed to be thousands of miles. As you all rush to the wooden door, you start screaming, whining, moaning, crying for anyone there to help.

“HELP! HELLO! WE NEED HELP! ANYONE HOME?!” you yell to the cabin. You and Jackie work on the door. You look behind you and see Lottie looking on with horror at the cabin, scared of it.

You and Jackie overpower the door to open with teamwork, and your weight on it. It opens to old dusty decorations and furniture laid out in the space like it was once a home of some kind as you cautiously entered the home.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” Jackie called out into the home.

“Maybe they just went on a hike?” Mari asked behind you, walking further into the home.

“Yeah, like a decade ago.” Jackie sassed. “It reeks in here.”

Cobwebs and a sour smell you couldn’t place lingered in the home. It smelt like old antiques and some kind of leather. The rotten smell of wood or meat from long ago stained the atmosphere. It was creepy and old, with bones of deer on the mantle placed above the fireplace.

“You two, look in the Pantry for any food. Everyone else, look around for stuff we can use,” Taissa says to the girls in the cabin; Travis walks in from the door. “First aid, Flashlights, tools.”

Jackie walks out with a can of beans in her hand. She starts to open it as she walks into the living room. “What the hell? Jackie, that’s not your personal buffet.”

Jackie stills and gags, dropping the rotten beans onto the floor. They shined with a green hue that made you want to gag yourself. “See, this is why we should’ve stayed in the plane!” She snaps to you.

You look at her wide-eyed and say, “Yeah, well, we didn’t. We all decided to leave. A can of rotten beans is why we should have never found the cabin?”

“This is a fucking nightmare.” Jackie storms out of the house with a stomp with every step. She is not having any of this.

You and Shauna share a look, urging her to go follow Jackie. Somethings never ends, like you two always having to comfort jackie after she freaks out.

From the back of the kitchen, Van calls out to the group with a massive pile of Playboy Magazines before slamming them down onto the dusty kitchen table. Dust flies into the air like smoke from a fire. “Well, hello.” Van comedically calls, “Don’t worry, guys. We might be stuck in the middle of nowhere, but there’s porn.”

You giggle and walk over to the magazines, seeing tits and thin women posing on pages. Not your thing, but seeing boobs and the female form that wasn’t your friends was excellent. “Nice tits.” You say as you scan the pages of the old 1968 issue of Playboy.

“Holy shit,” Mari says as Natalie and Akilah look over Van’s shoulder to view the porn. It was kinda freeing to be so openly entertained by porn with your "normal" friends. The friends don’t feel like their cheeks are burning or that they feel turned on by how some of the girls smile on the paper, but they all seem to like it nonetheless—admiring the beauty of another woman.

Travis looks over, eyeing up what we got, and acts like he is not interested with an unmistakable shine to his eye.

“Hey, this guy kind of looks like you, flex.”

“If only any of you actually looked like her.”

“Well, talking like that is why you are a virgin and will always be a virgin, Travis.” You joke back to him, looking over the pages.

“Do guys, like, actually jerk off to this stuff?”

“Nah, We-we hate that shit. You know, you can’t even tell what her favorite book is.” Travis lies, trying his best to seem like a sensitive and not meatheaded guy, but at the end of the day he is just some guy who looks boobs. Because you know that you will be touching yourself later to those images, and you don’t doubt he will.

You laugh loudly at his words before he can speak more, or the others can either. You slam the magazine down and wipe a tear that formed from his atrocious acting. Van is trying and failing to hold in her laughs, Mari and Akilah giggling. As you leave them alone, you just snicker, “I’m checking out the pantry.”

You chuckle to yourself as you look around the empty cabinet. In the corner, you find a comforting sight. It was a fishing pole, a fisher box, and two rolls of big fishing line. It looked like something you would find in your dad’s garage. Your dad liked to work in there with his truck. He would handle work at his workbench and play old music on the radio. He fished for a living, always smelt of the sea and cigarettes. The image of your dad sitting on the bench smoking a cigarette as he works on something your mom bought from Goodwill, as he just quietly did his task. Sometimes he would feel you staring at him and let you sit on his lap as he worked, holding his tools, and you just loved sitting against his muscular chest as a kid. You and your dad were best friends when you were little, you were his little helper, and you never were more grateful as you found a food source for everyone. Yeah, the rod is a little rusted and old, but you were sure you could find some oil and something to scrub the rust away.

You, alone, keep looking around the near-empty cabinet, and you notice the stairs that go up to a door for an upper floor. You don’t think much before stepping up the steps, the girls talking and walking around in the other room.

You don’t think much before you put your hand on the old handle of the attic door, and you don’t think much as you open it that it’s empty at first glance. You look to the ceiling as you step up the steps, half your body in the level before you look around the ground, and your eyes stop on a shape in the back of the room.

Your heart stops.

The girls voice sounds like echoes down a few feet from you.

The sweat on your brow dries to a cold sweat.

Your eyes widen as a gasp holds in your throat, your mouth open as a scream is stuck inside you, a hand covering your mouth.

A man's mummified body sits in an old rocking chair with a hunting rifle in his hands. His head was opened from the back, and it was clear as day what his fate was. The man had shot himself in the mouth, and he was never found until you opened that door. The smell of leather and decay was strong in this room.

It was the fate you felt in your bones that was now yours.

“(Y/n)-” Van says behind you, and you quickly shut the door with a bang, and you turn to look at her. Her lighthearted face drops as she looks at your face. She cringes at the loud sounds of the bang. “(Y/n), What’s wrong?”

“Um, I need to call a meeting.” You rush as you leave the cabinet and grab Van’s firm bicep. She was flexing her arm as she quickly followed you, and you quieted and seemed unable to speak.

“Guys!” Van called for the others as she followed you. You look at the others with a pale face. You felt scared. But you couldn’t let go of the only shelter in the woods. Everyone, worriedly, circles you.

You couldn’t do this anymore.

This is so fucked up.

Fat tears fill your eyes as you look at each of the seniors, croaking, “There is a dead body in the attic… He killed himself decades ago-”

“What the fuck!” Natalie whispers to herself, completely freaked out.

Jackie says with eyes like saucers, “Are you fucking serious, (Y/n)?!”

A chorus of shock and disgust, and you let your tears fall, but you pull yourself together very quickly. “Okay. Okay.” You start as you wipe a tear with your palm. “The cabin is in fucking great condition for being left alone for so long. It needs little fixes. We need this cabin to survive before the rescue comes and gets us.”

“No, (Y/n), I say no. We’re going back to the plane.”

You feel your patience run thin as you tell your childhood friend, “Jackie, we have no other choice. This is the first shelter we have found here, and you are telling me we shouldn’t sleep somewhere warm and dry at night?”

“No, We shouldn’t sleep in a house with a fucking dead body!”

“I agree! This place has such a bad feeling.” Lottie says.

“No, we need to stay here. This is a fucking home. We need this.” Taissa fought back.

“Okay, Let’s vote. All in favor of staying at the cabin.” You say and raise your hand. You, Travis, Taissa, Van, Laura Lee, and Natalie. The ones against were Jackie, Shauna, Lottie, Mari, and Akilah.

Majority rule.

“We need to do this the right way. We need to bury him.” Laura Lee says to the group. She nods to the cabin and says, “There is a shovel in there.”

“Can you and Van start digging… I don’t one the others to see this. Anyone go tell the others to come if you want, and you can leave to get everything and the stuff at the lake if you don’t want to see this.” You ramble. You knew what you had to do for the group. This is your only chance of survival, and your dad’s voice echoes in your mind.

A dull feeling comes over your neck. It felt like a hand comforting a pain underneath.

“I need help moving the body. It's ancient…”

“I’ll come,” Taissa says, putting a hand on your shoulder for comfort. You only then realize you are staring a thousand miles away and look at her face.

“Me too.” Shauna jumped in, she comes closer to you and holds your hand.

“Shauna-”

“I’m not letting (Y/n) do it alone, Jackie.” Shauna pleads to Jackie as she comes over to you too. Her warm brown eyes hit your face, and her arm wraps around your waist in a hug.

Jackie, Mari, Lottie, and Travis leave to get the others and everything left behind on the shore of the lake. You soberly enter the house and quickly walk up the stairs to the attic. You confront the sour smell of mummification as you stop at the door to the second level. Taissa and Shauna were behind you, not wanting to do the dirty work that was about to happen.

You take a deep breath as your father's voice comes to your mind.

“You’re not a little girl. You can’t cry anymore.”

Don’t cry.

You take another deep breath and ball up your fists. You rush over behind the chair of the corpse.

You push the chair, scraping on the floor, eerily groans in the home. You hold your breath, keeping out the dirty air, as you push it toward the stairs.

Shauna and Taissa gasped like you did when you first seen him as you pushed the chair to the door. Their hands are over their mouths, and they watch in horror as you move infront of the body.

You try to keep your eyes off the body, but you can’t help but glance up at his face.

Empty eye sockets look back into yours. They were burning an unsaid truth of the two of you.

This was your fate if you were never found.

You grab under the arms of the body, and you lift the body with surprising ease. The leathery and weathered skin of the body rubbed against the soft skin of your hand. You felt the epidermis of the skin slide unnaturally from the muscle of the body, it slip with the pressure of your hold. It shook you to your core. You quickly pull the body down as you move down the latter steps. You don’t say a word before Shauna and Taissa grab a limp of the leathery body to help you carry it down. All of you run outside with the very light body.

The skin was flaking off with every step you took.

As you walk outside, Van is working double time, throwing the dirt behind her to make a 4 foot grave. Laura Lee took Van to move as they both, with horror, looked at the three of you carrying the body and laying it gently down into the grave.

As you crouch with the other two, you can’t help but have a sob come out of you as you let go of the body. This was someone. This was a man, a son, maybe a brother, father, or husband. And he is a fucking mummy in the Canadian forest out in the middle of nowhere.

You slump down from your exhausted legs, laying beside the hole in the ground, and cry infront of the other girls. This was all too much. You just wanted to get away from all of this. You get up and try not to touch your face before you can at least put on some hand sanitizer.

You stand still as you try to swallow the tears. You look up into the sky, hoping that all these feelings can get you out of it. The blue sky seemed to urge you to pray to something for help. It worsens as you look up because the fat tears fall down your cheeks.

You look at the other girls as you try to stop your sobs and walk away. You walk behind the cabin and cry into the air as quietly as you can. You never wanted to know how a mummy felt. You wished he never was in there. You wish you were never in these woods. You wish you were home cuddling with your mom in her bed in the living room. You weren’t supposed to be here.

You see Van and Shauna come from the side of the house and turn to see you, both deeply worried and with tears in their eyes.

You welcome Van and Shauna into your arms as they do you. You don’t stop the tears as you cry into Shauna’s shoulder like a little girl again. Vanessa kisses your forehead and says into your ear, “It’s all okay now. He is buried and gone. It’s all okay.”

As the night settled, the tingling inch on your skin didn’t. The girls around you slept, Shauna beside you and Jackie beside her. You slept in the dark corner of the living room of the cabin. It was a very emotionally high day for everyone. From the hike, and happiness of finding the cabin, to the horror of seeing the mummy. You didn't feel like you were really processing anything really afterwards, because you didn't even react when Coach Ben had a freak out and punched Misty in the nose.

Your hands twist the semi-rusted fishing pole together. It was still in great shape but needed some TLC. You lined the wheel, put on a bait without the hook, and had the white berries from the morning. You felt hope come over you slightly as it looked familiar and good. You weren’t the best at fishing, but you knew how to do it. “I can do this. We got food and water.” You thought and sighed.

You place the rod against the wall as quietly as possible, not to disturb the others' sleeping. You needed a moment. The air was too thick in there. So stuffy.

You slip out of the room without a creek and feel the cool spring breeze hit your face. But as you walk around the porch on the other side of the house, you confront the back of Lottie.

“Hey, what are you doing out here. Having a hard time sleeping?” You ask Lottie as you come up behind her. You stand beside her as she crosses her arms and looking into the wilderness.

Lottie looks at you with manic eyes and says, “I just have a bad feeling about this place.” She whispers to you emotionally. Like she was scared to say anymore.

“Yeah, it is pretty stinky.” You joke and sigh as you lean against a pillar. “And there are spiders that could eat your face… But it’s our only choice to sleep somewhere warm.”

Lottie isn’t convinced, and you feel slightly annoyed as you sigh, “Lottie, I am not letting you sleep out here for bad vibes. I am sure we can find some stuff in the woods tomorrow to help clean the place of all the bad vibes”

Lottie looks over to you with her eyes looking unmoved. She doesn’t want to move.

You approach her and grab her shoulders to look at you, “Lottie, close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just close your eyes. And take a deep breath of air.” You say, eyes closed, and take a deep breath of air. “Let’s both just ground ourselves for a moment.”

You hear Lottie take a deep breath with you. And you two do this back and further a few times.

"Just feel the wilderness with you. It breathes you in as you breath it in." You say and take the finally big breath with her.

Before you can open your eyes, you feel lips against your own. You open your eyes to see Lottie kiss you with a hand coming up to cup your face. She sucks onto your lip sweetly and leans into your body against the pillar. She quickly pulls back and says, "Sorry-I’m sorry I was so wrong for that-”

“No!” You squeaked, your body feeling hot as she kissed you. You look at her guilty face and think it was a straight girl wanting comfort. You get it. The kiss was nice. “It’s okay. Let’s just act like it never happened, okay? No weird feelings.”

“No weird feelings,” Lottie says back to you with a smile. The both of you walk back into the new nest the Yellowjackets have claimed as their own.

‘21

Misty was very tired and wanted to go home before she wouldn’t have any sleep for work the next day. You sweetly told her you understood, and Natalie dropped her off at her cute little house. Misty opens your door with a smile, and she hugs you before you can get your keys out; you close your eyes and hug her back.

“You are leaving me with Natalie.” You whisper into her ear, groaning that you have to spend more time with Natalie when you want to be far away from her.

Misty chuckled and rubbed you back up and down with her tiny hand, a mocking pout as she said, “You’ll be okay for another twenty minutes, honey. You got this.”

You smile, pull back, and say to her as she enters her house. “I got this.”

And as you thought, you didn't have this. The drive with Natalie is at tense as you thought it was as you drove down the drive to Natalie’s hotel. You felt dirty for how you spoke to her. It was so wrong what you said, and you said it because you believed it. Every word you said had venom.

And the worst part is that Natalie isn’t even mad. She is a fuck up. She fucked so many things up, and just because you owe her your life, it didn’t mean how she acted was right. How she acted to you since she knew you have never been fair, and she knew that. She couldn’t help it. She never wanted to see you leave her, so she left you first, and Natalie needed you to stay away from her heart which always seemed to bleed when she saw your beautiful face. You never did make her feel judged. You made Natalie feel checked. And she didn’t want to feel that all the time, but she also knew she needed that now more than ever. She is lost. Travis is gone.

You feel the urge to speak and be honest. For a moment, you see blonde hair in the corner of your eyes and the awkward teenage nervousness with the coolest girl in school. But you knew her. This is your Natalie. You must explain yourself before not seeing her again; You know what is on her mind now that Travis has killed himself.

“I don't think that I have ever really gotten you, Natalie…” You confessed with a prolonged breath. You felt a weight come off you when you just said it plainly to her, and a sadness tugged on your twitching eye. Knuckles white, holding the wheel as you continue in a calmer breath, “You change all the time and I can never get a clear look at who you are. Like if I thought you were a solid, you are actually a gas, but before I can accept that, you become a solid again. I may not be the most accepting, but I have always tried for you. Because the one thing I know about you that never changes is that I love you, and you love me in your own way.” You almost whisper at the end; your eyes peek over to see her staring straight into your face.

Natalie was silent as she watched you, she knew she was that way, especially towards you—her doe. “I’m sorry, (y/n). I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know. I know, Nat. That is why I never closed the door to you.” You say as you pull into the hotel. You wanted to say more and let the years of frustrating confusion and love just come out. But you know better. You know Natalie, and you know yourself. This is as far as it will go. “I told you back then, and I will tell you now, I will always love you."

You look over when you parked and finish what you said, and her face looks like something came over her. Natalie usually was guarded and cagey when she was emotional. But, in this moment of honesty with you, it felt good even though it was not all good.

You and Natalie were the only reason that the yellowjackets' survived. The pride of it sank from the weight of the price that it was to survive out in those cold woods. The decisions, the projects, and the goals twisted and darkened with the reality that once was. Natalie was your rock as you were hers, but you were more of an island that housed the girls lost at sea with a lighthouse welcoming them with a smile. Natalie always envied that about you, never to admit it, but to be able to comfort the way you do.

The nights Natalie cuddled into your stomach for warmth, how her lips kissed your skin gently with reverence of the world, and how she held your face to have you fed.

You know her best and worst, just as Natalie knew yours.

“I’m sorry,” Natalie whispered, trying her hardest not to let the tears fall.

You felt your nose tingle and your chin quiver as you look over at her, water lining your eyes. You were slightly overwhelmed with emotion, longing for a different ending to your story and mourning the girls that once were you two.

You whisper to her, “I love you… I want you to love yourself to be better. Not just the rehabs and the AAs, but, like, better, Natalie. I had to do that. I was locked in my house for years before I thought about being “normal” again.”

“I have never been normal.” Natalie jabbed as she took off her seatbelt. But she didn’t move from her seat because even she knew this needed to be said.

“No, you are cool. That was better.” You chuckle lightheartedly, trying to ease the weight you feel for her. The regret never fail to get you emotional. Natalie chuckles, and then she starts to cry quietly. “You know I am always there even if we are miles away, okay? I am still the same (Y/n).”

You put your hand to rub her back, and she lets you. She cries in her hands for a few seconds and doesn’t push you away.

“I don’t know what you think of me, and I don’t really care. I need you to know that for me knowing you has been so important to me. Thank you for being exactly who you were and are, Natalie Scatorccio."

Suddenly, like she remembered why she was there, she opened the door and left the car coldly, without a word.

You take a deep breath, close your eyes, and nod at the behavior. You love her but can’t help; she wouldn’t let you. It’s a lost love for a good reason. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t fucking break your heart. You take another breath and tell her, even though she can’t hear you, “It’s okay. I get it, Natalie.”

You pull out of the parking lot and don’t want to be on the road anymore. And you drive to the closest place you know and park in front of their house like you usually do.

You knock on the door politely and feel yourself mask the sadness until you can talk about it better. You look at your old watch, the handy-down watch your dad gave you on your 30th birthday; seeing it was 10:30 pm, you sigh when you hear the footsteps at the door.

Warm brown eyes look into yours, and your lower lip quivers slightly.

“Hey, Stinky.”

“Hey, Smelly.” You smile and lead forward to Shauna, Hugging her deeply.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were coming tomorrow? Callie is at Ashley’s, and Jeff is “at work” and-”

“I just wanted to see you.” You sniffled and pulled back, giving her a tight-lipped smile, “Coffee?”

“Fuck yeah, let's have some coffee.” Shauna smiled, pulling you into having your weekly gossip and venting session with her best friend early.

As your body walks into Shauna’s home, someone watches the back of your head as you enter the house. Their eyes looked onto the back of your body. She remembers you, thinks about you often, on that day at the lake, and how you swam beside them and laughed. You tried your most challenging at that time, and she remembered how beautiful you were when you became someone who saved everyone. You were a crucial part of her survival, the whole pack's survival. She leaned against the white leather seats of the van, and she lit a cigarette as she watched you do your weekly routine with Shauna. Her fingers rub the leather wheel of the car, and her knuckles are white as she holds in something darker that has plagued the last 25 years. She was fucked up, and she knew it. She wanted to own you. She would be lost without you to ground her, to reassure her of reality and what it meant to be free now. The urge to go out of the car and try to get you back, pull into the car to keep you once again. She says softly, with her eyes blinking uncontrollably, “Goodnight, (y/n), Goodnight.” they then start the black van and drives out of the suburb.

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