#BETTER YET WHY DOESNT HE LEARN FROM HIS STUPID MISTAKES | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the0ldmann · 2 years

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So I've been in a bit of a blocked headspace recently, and when Jambee retweeted that one pic- of Jack looking at himself basically- I got struck with an idea.

I figured it was gonna be about 300 words but here we are about 743 words later, haha! Hope ya'll enjoy!

(Idr how to read more on mobile, whoops, hope this doesnt clog up too much space!)

-----

Mirrors.

There was nothing worse, honestly.

He'd been glad his Sunshine just assumed he couldn't see his reflection since they couldn't. Lying to them is something he wouldn't have had it in him to do, although he certainly didn't want to tell them the truth either.

He could see his reflection.

Although reflections were supposed to show yourself, were they not?

He couldn't tell which one of them was the real him.

The real him...

Who was the real him?

Surely this was, wasn't it?

Blue hair, red face paint, primary colored clothing and a chipper tune.

But if this truely was him, then why didn't his reflection, well, reflect that?

Brown hair, tired eyes, and those tattoos he eventually wished he'd never gotten.

None of that was him, no. At least, not anymore. It was quite clear when he looked down at himself and saw that he was how he wanted to be.

So why was he the one staring back at him? Why did his reflection not reflect him?!

Is this not good enough?

Sunny Day Jack was perfect.

Perfect bod, perfect friend, perfect at keeping his life together, perfect lover-

He could go on about how perfect he was.

It was quite the struggle to get here, so why shouldn't he feel a little bit proud about how perfect he'd become?

Yet here I am, still like this.

Sure his past may be a bit more... Imperfect. But we all make mistakes at some point! As long as we learn from them and do better, that's what matters most. That's how one becomes perfect.

The perfect spouse, the perfect defender, the perfect caregiver, the perfect actor-

There was a gunshot, and then...

He was perfect for the role, because he was the role! Nobody embodied Sunny Day Jack better than he, for he was THE Sunny Day Jack!

...

Was

...

It's clear he's not too happy with himself. With who he was. He tried so hard to change, to be perfect- for everyone else's sake! Say the right things, don't do the wrong things, and bury, bury, bury, bury, BURY everything that wasn't relevant to his new life anymore.

He tried so d- so HARD to make sure everything would be perfect and yet...

The reality he was a ghost had not escaped him.

His Sunshine was the only one who could see him, hear him, touch him...

If being unseen and unheard and unfelt by the world at large wasn't the qualities of a ghost, then what was it?

He cherished the bond he had with his beloved Sunshine. They gave him reprieve from that torment, proved that perhaps God had heard his prayers and sent someone to save him-

Saving that wouldn't need done if it wasn't for-

A gloved hand rested on the mirror. His reflection looked like it was crying. Was he crying too? He couldn't tell.

And quite frankly, the anger beginning to bubble up didn't care.

If it wasn't for a couple stupid mistakes, this mess wouldn't have ever been a thing! Why couldn't you have just stopped and thought about things for once in your life?! Maybe actually thought about the future and what you could have done to help it?! No, no no no no no! Making a statement right then and there was all that mattered. Yes, nothing truly important mattered until you had already messed everything up, and left it to a different, actually mature version of yourself to fix-

"Jaaack? Where aaaare youuuu?~"

A familiar voice carried from the bedroom.

It snapped Jack out of his thoughts and he froze, a fist he did not realize he had raised mere inches from shattering the mirror. His reflection stared back him, hollow and desperate.

He looked away, embarrassed. Slowly, he lowered his arms and relaxed his grip.

What a silly reaction, shattering a mirror wouldn't do anything but-

-but bury things yet again.

Perhaps it best some things stay buried.

"I'm in the living room Sunspot!~"

His voice rang out, matching his beloved's sing-song tune.

Already he was doing his best to forget what almost transpired. Moving quickly to the couch and plastering on his signature smile, his mind took heed and moved onto more important matters.

Such as looking up to see his bright little ray of Sunshine emerging from the hallway with a blanket in one hand and a dvd in the other.

"Movie night?"

He patted the open spot next to him.

"I'd love nothing more."

#minors dni #heeheehee #is this angst? i think this counts as angst #hope ya'll liked it #let's suffer together #sunny day jack #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sdj #swwsdj #that poor man is so traumatized #i can't wait for the existential crisis/mental breakdown he's gonna have in the full game #i mean i would like to hug him and help him through it #but also I'm a messy bitch of a writer and I enjoy messy moments

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k1ngj0ve · 1 year

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Random Metalocalypse headcanons

Nathan: I think hes bisexual (but hides it), is deeply emotional, likes and is kind to children but doesnt want any of his own (hopes someone else will have kids he can dote on), the only instrument he plays is piano (but not super well), is straight up the only one here who is actually A Goth, is deeply deeply insecure, has accidentally become a 'can only solve problems with threats' type due to that being how he dealt with bullying. Also he has ALWAYS had vaguelly prophetic dreams since childhood, but cant tell them apart from regular ones and cant always tell if they are good or bad, so he only sometimes does what they say

Skwisgaar: i made a long post about this previously but he has complete dylexia and due to his intense anxiety and his moms general belittling of mistakes he actually is WAY worse at english than it seems like he is and he sort of just muddles through and pretends. His english is much worse when hes thinking about it, which the others noticed, which is why they rarely correct anything he says because hell go silent for 3 days. Also hes bisexual (openly before being in Dethklok) and yes he IS some kind of god child but he probably WASNT appointed for the soul purpose of making babies Toki: not stupid! not 'mind of a child'. Just immature. I headcanon that he was not of-age when he joined Dethklok and someone in Dethklok (i havent decided who is funniest yet) had to legally adopt him to keep him in the country and they kinda forgot. He only hit 21 in season 1 and while he HAD been drinking before that he really started going overboard after it got easier. Also, skwisgaar taught him english (hence same pluralization quirk) but hes now much better at it. Despite his comments about 'superior scandinavian education' he didnt actually go to school and didnt learn to read or write until he was older, but hes very good with computer codes and math. ALSO his parents arent his real parents, he was thought to be a demon child born to a member of the flock with no husband and was adopted to be 'fixed' but ended up just goign towards demonic things since he thinks hes a demon. Is it true? idk. Murderface: Gay but also in-universe many many many many people are attracted to him. Hot people. Movie stars. gay men especially. Refuses to admit hes gay because it feels like 'giving in' to a thing that everyones always said about him. He grew up in Tomahawk with pickles but doesnt have the accent because he took after his grandparents. PIckles mom refuses to admit she knows murderface. ALSO that 'murderface expert' guy is making up at least half of that. he does bath he just has like skin problems and is too impatient to deal with them and too anxious about being made fun of to go to the doctor about minor issues like athletes foot. Hes in a secret highly emotional online relationship with a guy hes only seen in person once because of insecurity reasons

Pickles: trans or cis depending on my mood at the moment ;p Bisexual and knows it but doesnt knwo the word for it. A lot of health problems hes been diagnosed with but he always forgets about. Wears contacts (or just chooses to be blind some days). He is NOT Mollys son, actually, hes Calverts from a mistress which is why his mom hates him so much (also why his dad said he belonged in a 'garbage can', hes referencing that he wishes pickles mom had an abortion). yes of COURSE hes in love with nathan, he just like assumes its not possible and 99% of the time is okay with that. Ofdenson: for some reason i had a misunderstanding for many years that he had ALWAYS been part of the church of the black klok and so even now that i know its not true, i still prefer it. To me, this is why he is so fucking negligent-- in some way the klokateers and audiences must be a blood sacrifice for the apocalypse (or potentially to stave it off? unclear). Additionally he is largely responsible for the entire 'look' of the enterprise. I simply dont believe that half the shit in mordland were ever seen by dethklok or could even possibly have been conceived of by them, let alone asked for. My headcanon is he is the one that started the entire 'branding of the gears' thing and is responsible for the brainwashing (this i think has canon support at least)

#metalocalypse #dethklok #headcanons

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infizero · 20 days

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pokespe reread: ruby & sapphire chapter - closing thoughts! 🔴🔵

i've finally reached the end of the ruby & sapphire.... im now gonna start from the beginning and work my way back up to FRLG like i said i would!

first though, some overall thoughts!!

(also im gonna say right off the bat that i am only talking strictly ruby & sapphire here, not anything that happens in ORAS - i'll get to THAT when i get there. eventually - or any other arcs)

ok first off i said i would talk about the way the narrative portrays norman once i had finished the whole arc. and now that i have.... yup its basically as i had already been feeling as i read. they dont know wtf they're doing with norman. sometimes it feels like they're so obviously portraying him as a threat and a bad person, but they just cannot accept that and keep trying to make him sympathetic.

and i dont think that giving norman more layers as a character is a bad thing! but you can just tell that when you learn that norman WAS going to give ruby permission to do contests before he ran away, or how norman gave up his shot at being a gym leader to pay for ruby's childish mistake, the intent is not to add layers to an otherwise unredeemable character. the intent is for the reader to go "oh, he's not so bad after all! he actually IS a good dad!"

and thats. i mean i dont think i need to describe why thats horrible. the way norman treated ruby is unforgivable and he is NOT a character that should be so easily redeemed. they cant even portray his abuse without downplaying it!! like how do you depict norman beating his 11 year old child up in such horrible upsetting detail and then immediately have the other characters in the story undermine it and go "aww hes not such a bad dad after all!" RIGHT AFTER SAID ABUSE! it doesnt matter that norman was going to give ruby permission, it doesnt matter that he sacrificed for ruby when he was younger, none of that matters when its put up against norman BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF RUBY! (and like i already said in my norman analysis post, even the contest permission thing isnt that good of a deed bcuz it doesnt come with any actual change in behavior from norman)

all that to say, a very clearly abusive father is depicted here and yet the narrative is dead set on trying to make you think that his abuse isnt that bad and that hes actually a good guy deep down. which is just frankly gross and i really wish it had been handled better.

secondly, i already said this but oh my god the thing with celebi is so fucking stupid. like this isnt even cause i want norman to have stayed dead, this is just objectively a stupid writing decision. you have these characters die and add so much drama and stakes to the story, and then at the last moment you reveal that ruby SOMEHOW had caught celebi back in johto and just???? had it with him THIS ENTIRE TIME and it never came up once?

and everything just magically gets fixed and the consequences of that are just not addressed. this is just bad writing im sorry. it happens so quickly and so nonsensically it instantly makes everything that happened feel so much less consequential.

and to be clear the problem isnt that it was solved with magic! this is pokemon after all lmao. the problem is that celebi was not set up AT ALL in the story. there was absolutely NO BASIS for this reveal so it feels completely random and like a terrible deus ex machina. needless to say in my personal canon this does not happen and everyone who died just stays dead lol. (maybe not steven. we'll see once i revisit ORAS, if he really needs to be alive then i can make an exception and just say he doesnt die in the first place here. but norman and courtney at the very least gotta stay dead like cmon man)

third, here are my thoughts on how the narrative portrays ruby and sapphire's gender nonconformity overall (again, STRICTLY IN R&S) which ive been waiting to talk about!

i'll first say that i was nervous the whole time since i couldnt really remember how things were by the end, but im actually pleasantly surprised! i do have some criticisms which i'll go ahead and get out of the way first.

first of all, there is some weirdness with how sapphire is portrayed. most of the time she is tough and masculine but they occasionally hamfist in these moments where she's like "hey but i am a GIRL yknow. i can like cute things and have crushes and stuff" and it just feels. off

like im not SAYING that sapphire cant also have SOME interest in traditionally feminine things. but the way it's presented can make it feel a little like sapphire is really a "normal" (feminine) girl underneath it all and that her toughness and masculinity are all just a front. i dont think thats true and from the way they portray her other times i dont think that is supposed to be the takeaway. but it can feel like that sometimes

like it definitely feels like in contrast to ruby, they were scared to make sapphire TOO masculine without giving her certain traditional markers of femininity. yes she's like this but also look she's squealing over her crush on ruby! she is still a GIRL after all!

this can be seen as well in her appearance - while i love her fangs and wild expressions, she is still depicted as this pretty feminine looking girl. she's skinny and fairly curvy, she's got long pretty eyelashes, she wears a short skirt, etc etc. (yes ik ruby made those clothes for her but on a meta level that IS what she has been chosen to wear. and i also know that they have to use the gameverse designs BELIEVE ME I KNOW. im just commenting on it)

and again irl none of this really matters ppl can do whatever they want gender-wise and presentation-wise. but this, being a story and all, is a conscious decision to create this character this way, which might i add was made by men. sapphire is remarkably brash and masculine and i dont want to undermine that, but it really feels like they were too scared to really go all the way and not add little "oh but shes still feminine in this way of course" disclaimers throughout the story

another negative is that, while i do love ruby and sapphire's backstory, it does come with the unfortunate side effect of once again calling their gender nonconformity's genuineness into question.

having ruby and sapphire be a traditionally masculine little boy and a traditionally feminine little girl when they were kids, with seemingly no qualms about this, can make it feel like those are their "true selves" and that their gender nonconformity was ENTIRELY just bcuz of their trauma. as in, sapphire is ONLY masculine bcuz she wanted to get strong enough to protect herself and others, and deep down she actually is a feminine girl; ruby is ONLY feminine bcuz he was scared of hurting others with his strength, and deep down he actually is a masculine boy.

now this isnt actually true, and the narrative shows us this since in the little epilogue they're still acting in their usual gnc ways. but it does sow an unfortunate seed of doubt in the mind of the reader that really doesnt need to be there.

but with that out of the way lemme show some love for the positives of ruby and sapphire's portrayal bcuz i just love these guys so much

first of all, it's never even so much as implied that ruby doesnt ACTUALLY like contests or sapphire doesnt ACTUALLY like battling. if the intended narrative really was that it was all a front post-trauma and they're actually gender-conforming deep inside, then this wouldn't be the case.

secondly, im really happy that the story ends with reaffirming these things about them!! by the end ruby is decorating sapphire's cave, fawning over cute plushies with his signature Gayass Face, and bragging about his skills brushing pokemon. and sapphire is still battling, running around with her dirty pokemon, and rolling her eyes at ruby's decor. this IS who they are. ruby IS feminine and sapphire IS masculine. the narrative does not let you think otherwise by the end

third of all, i just really appreciate them being portrayed like this at all. like i said sapphire's depiction could have been played a lot less safe, but she still is a pretty masculine character and she embodies a lot of qualities that werent rlly common for these characters at the time. she's freakishly strong, she's brash, and she's constantly running around being a hero to everyone she meets, in contrast to ruby not really fitting the label of hero at all (at least until the end)

and ruby is just so overtly feminine and well. queer. it's still astounding to me. ive said before, i obviously dont agree with everything kusaka's ever done, but i will always thank him for fighting against the editors to let pokemon have such a feminine male protagonist. that really means a lot, esp back in 2002!

ruby is a very flawed character (i mean that in a good way!) and it can sometimes feel like the narrative is laughing at him a bit, but at the same time he IS the protagonist and you are supposed to sympathize with him. and like i said before, there is never any reveal that actually ruby DOESNT like these feminine things and he was just forcing himself to after the salamence incident.

he just IS feminine, even by the end of the story after all his character development. that part of him is never depicted as something that he would be better off without, that's just who he is! even after beginning to battle again. and i appreciate that!

alright and finally. just some notes on how ruby and sapphire's romance is portrayed. i've already said a lot of this but i wanted to repeat it here

basically, OVERALL i like how their romance is written. i love franticshipping, i think they're so cute and i love how they've got the whole opposites attract, enemies to lovers thing going on

i think kusaka overall does a good job of showing them starting to care more about each other in a way that feels well written, but then sometimes he just throws in some stupid cliche fanfiction bullshit that completely disrupts the slow burn going on.

the perfect example of this is the scene where sapphire rushes into granite cave to save ruby:

the way that she just instantly bolts into danger without thinking the second she realizes hes in trouble already tells you SO MUCH about how far their relationship has come and how much she cares about him, just on its own.

but then kusaka apparently decides that this isnt enough and he needs to really make it obvious, so he slaps in this weird moment that feels really off tone-wise:

like this is a dangerous situation! its tense! being treated seriously! and then all of the sudden we're hit with this comedic cliche little "it's not like i like him or anything!!1!" moment that just feels really forced. esp since brawly literally just called ruby a friend of hers. i'd take sapphire getting embarrassed/defensive at ruby being called for her friend, but there is no reason she needs to just flat out go "it's not like i have a BIG FAT CRUSH ON HIM!!" like girl. no one was saying that. what are you exposing yourself for 😭

this happens a couple other times where these random moments of making it extremely obvious that ruby and sapphire like each other are unnecessarily inserted into their otherwise slowburn romance. and it just doesnt need to be there man. the story would be much better off without these moments, if we JUST got the subtle displays of care, some blushing, etc leading up to the eventual confession. like that just makes it so much more engaging!! rather than just straight up telling the audience "they like each other!" like ik this IS for kids but damn bro cmon let me figure that out myself with my brain 😭

i also think that ruby forcefully preventing sapphire from helping him save the world near the end should have had more attention drawn to it. like ik he was just trying to protect her but i think sapphire should've been allowed to get mad at him for that!! at the very least i think it should've been brought up in the aftermath and ruby should've apologized or something. it just feels like sapphire's agency was totally stripped from her in the climax of the story and because it's never addressed, the narrative basically says that there was nothing wrong with ruby doing this.

(hmm wow ruby ignoring sapphire's agency and doing things "for her own good" without actually consulting her? that feels..... familiar........

oh god. it's right behind me isn't it

ACK. BACK FOUL DEMON. it's not your time..... not yet....)

but yes, other than these moments, i think their romance is well-written. they are just sooooo freaking cute i love them so so much. this arc may not be flawless (none of them are lol) but it did give the world charmer ruby and conqueror sapphire so. let's end on that.

overall i really enjoyed rereading thru ruby & sapphire with a new perspective now that im older, and i cant wait to do so with the rest of pokespe!!!

see you all next time for whenever i finish rereading RGB!

#serena.txt #pksp reread #ruby & sapphire reread #HOLY FUCK MAN. THIS TOOK ME LITERAL HOURS TO WRITE #also i do wanna clarify that i havent reread ORAS since i was a kid. obviously thats the whole point of this reread thing #but it does mean that when im bashing on it i am bashing on it based on very vague memories of it lmao. so apologies if anything #i say seems a little off. i just have very strong feelings about it even tho i cant exactly remember why

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aphrodite-would-be-proud · 3 years

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Hi! How are you doing? ^^ ☆

Just wanted to know if you could make a headcanon about how would it be like after an argument with Armin? Please

Tysm for reading me, I love your work ♡♡♡

You're so sweet and nice ♡ of course I'd love to do one and tbh we must be on the same wavelength because i was just thinking about that yesterday!!!

I really liked your idea so imma do both a scenario and a headcanon! Hope you don't mind?

After an argument with Armin

{ Armin x reader | tw: hurt/comfort, self-image issues | angst with happy ending | modern }

{ "Moonlit View" byOscar Kleineh 1846 - 1919 }

Being with Armin had its many, many perks, one being that he's really empathetic and understanding, he doesn't assume things without evidence and knows misunderstandings happen.

When facing problems or disagreements, he thinks of a solution, not argue. He rather you work together against the problem than against each other.

Whenever you were in a bad mood he'd assume the best and think of what might have caused it instead of taking it personally, he knows you still love him, he knows you're just stressed. Maybe comfort could help? Maybe a lovely cuddly evening? Or maybe you need some space?

He's just really good at reading people's emotions and handling these situations, thanks to his efforts you both successfully managed to avoid any kind of arguments or fights most couples go through.

Which is why it was a shocking surprise to everyone when Eren got a call from Armin late at night, asking if he can stay over because you two just had, what he described as, the biggest fight.

Eren almost didn't believe him at first, he thought Armin was playing a prank on him. But then he heard the quivering in his voice and the hiccup that followed. Armin was crying, things were serious.

The last thing he said to you while putting his coat on was "I'm sorry, I'm weak, you and I know that."

Him saying that, in that tone, with those tearful eyes, made you want to get up and yell at him that no he isn't. He shouldn't just say that about himself like it's a fact and not just the results of years of self-doubt.

You wanted to hug him, to pull him closer till all those awful thoughts leave his head, till he sees at himself like how you see him, incredibly brave and determined.

But you didn't, you stayed there on the couch as he put his shoes on. His eyes pleading for you to say something, anything. To tell him to stay, to come sit near you. He even looked at you one last time before opening the door.

As you stared at him in silence, the realisation that you don't even remember what you were fighting about hit you, you can't, how could you? The minute the door closed behind him is when you realised how real the situation is.

How quiet the house is.

Has it always been this cold?

And just how much worried you are about him.

It hasn't been a full minute and you're missing him already.

—

It's 4am

It's hours since he left, how much exactly? You can't even remember.

Still haven't moved from the couch, you're not sure what you're feeling, you've been going through different emotions each hour.

Guilt, sadness, regret, anger, denial, pessimism, you name it.

It doesn't matter, none of that really matters to you right now. It's Armin who you've been worried about for a while that matter.

You know for a fact Eren and Mikasa aren't the most emotionally open people, you know Armin is already struggling with letting out his emotions without feeling needless guilt or shame.

You know he needs someone right now, he needs a shoulder to cry on and a reassuring voice. You've been both these things for him since even before you got together.

Just like he has been these things for you too. You need that someone just as much now. You didn't even know it's possible to feel this lonely.

Is he also thinking about you? Is he sleeping soundly on Eren’s couch? Or is that one stain from last week's party bothering him?

...is he just as miserable as you are right now? Probably not, you think. He's far stronger than he gives himself credit for, you know that better than everyone else.

Your thought process gets interrupted by a buzz from your phone, a text. Your eyes light up, you pull the blanket you dragged from the bed tighter around you, it's Armin.

[ hey ] it said, [is it okay if i call you?]

You reply back, he starts typing again, you stare at those three dots like your life depends on them.

[Okay, give me a minute please ]

You pull the phone closer to you, it's brightness contratsing against the dark living room. Some minutes pass...nothing, you feel your heartbeat rising. Phone still clutched in your hands.

It rings, it doesn't get past the second ring before you've pressed the accept button. You can hear the wind on the other side, alongside the distant sound of passing cars. Your heart only slows down after hearing the fimilar and oh so lovely sound of soft breathing

Suddenly the world doesnt seem so dim anymore.

"Sorry, it took more time than i thought, Eren keeps his keys in really weird places...I hope i didn't make you worry"

Oh If only he knew..

Dozens of possible replies run through your mind.

I missed you, did you miss me too?

Please come back, I hate feeling this lonely.

How does it feel to take my heart and run away?

Was your voice always this captivating or am i just high on sleep-deprevation?

I miss your kisses, i wish i could feel your lips against mine. Could you kiss me through the phone?

...in the end, you settle for "It's okay" you say, "It's alright."

"That's good...hey listen." You listen, "I'm not going to skirt around the subject, i called because" he takes a deep breath, "i want to apologise for how i acted, for what i said, both to you and myself."

Hearing him admit to his faults and own up to his mistakes, fills you with courage to do the same. You apologise, you mention how you've been thinking about him, you leave out the embarrassing parts.

You tell him you love him, and miss him.

You're met with silence. So you call out his name.

"Wait..you're not mad at me?" He says.

What? Mad? You?

"No." You say. "Why would you think that?"

You hear a chuckle that evolves into a laugh, it's contagious.

"Fuck...oh god I'm...im so stupid, i left because I thought you were mad and didn't bother you more by making you look at me." Even he seems to realise just how ridiculous that concept is.

It's 5am now, you're both laughing over the phone. The world is good again.

You ask if he's mad at you.

He instantly replies with a no.

"I could never be mad at you..." he says, "I love you so much it hurts. I love you like I've never loved anyone else before that it terrfies me, I'm scared one day I'll wake up and you won't be beside me anymore, you've made me love myself in ways i never though i would, you made me believe in myself because you believed in me."

{ Headcanons }

After an argument, Armin tries giving both of you space to calm down.

It doesn't last long because he will approach you after and talk about his emotions and explains why he did the things he did. He will also apologise for the things he did wrong like yelling or saying something hurtful.

If you give him the okay, he will instantly hug you. Physical touch is a great comfort for him so don't expect him letting you go anytime soon.

He will hold your face gently, tell you how much he missed you despite it being only hours.

Doesn't even care about the argument anymore or attempt to bring it up, he just wants to make up asap.

You're both gonna have a heartfelt conversation and actually process your emotions together. As a result you two come out stronger and closer after each argument.

He doesn't hold grudges, so he won't ever act passive aggressive after an argument. if he's got a problem he will tell you.

Just 100% honestly and transparency with this golden boy.

Will want to spend more time together post argument, he will really love it if you watch something together or you let him read you something.

Give him love and affaction, he loves you deeply it's actually rare these days.

When you go to sleep on those nights, he will hold you tighter and stroke your back.

He doesn't hold grudges yet he still remembers each fight you had and instead of it being a sour memory, he thinks of it as a learning block. Just a step towards understanding each other more.

Pamper him more after an argument and he will feel so loved, hearts in his eyes as you brush his morning hair.

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papers4me · 3 years

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Fruits Basket, Se3, ep11 (part 1)

Breaking toxic bonds & accepting healthy ones isn’t a miracle. A bond that started with love could end up chained & toxic, another that started wrong could’ve become the joy of a life time. You can do it. Break the cycle of abuse & stand up for yourself, it is easy yet so difficult, you aren’t alone, tho, loved ones stand nearby cheering. Be kind on yourself, otherwise you’ll throw your life away. Life isn’t just happiness & joy, it’s also sadness & loneliness. Break free from the shackles that held you down. Embrace life & Live.

-Tohru’s “ I’m okay” mask is finally shattered! (the Importance of kyo’s rejection for her development):

This is the last part of tohru’s character development! The last few eps were abt her role in Akito’s redemption & their similarities. she staood up for herself & choose a path away from her mom while keeping her mom’s memory in a healthy manner. No more planning my life according to mom’s wishes, no more talking to mom ‘s picture 24/7. Now, I’ll plan my life & move forward even if it is with the guy mom said she cant forgive. even If it is without him, I’ll move forward. I love him so much, yet I won’t force our bond & let go. So easy yet so difficult!. tohru doesnt know anything abt kyo after her fall. All she remembers is his heart-broken face as he wept beside her. Those tears on his face, she caused them. He cried cuz it is too painful to see her hurt. She was a burden to him! tohru restored to her old coping mechanism of pretending “ i’m Okay” & smiling. She did so numerous times before. Always worked. No one noticed. Except him. Se02, ep7. he urged her to show her true fears. Now, she’s faced with a pain so big she can’t pretend no more. the pain of loosing him. She cried in front of yuki! The smile & chatting abt chores couldn’t conceal the running tears! Yuki’s first time seeing her like that. Se01, ep14, yuki wondered how could tohru smile after her mom’s death. She can’t pretend no more! She’ll have to wear her feelings on her sleeve! cuz it IS ok to do so! She tells kyo to give her a moment to compose herself. She couldn’t lie & pretend like she did with yuki. Here she either run away or just try to compose myself! I LOVE THAT! This way, whenever kyo/tohru fight or have any misunderstanding in the future as a couple, you’ll know tohru won’t just bear it & pretend, “ i;m okay” No! she’ll talk to kyo & express herself! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! It gives her so much strength as a human & I’m happy all the obstacles & set backs in kyo/tohru’s romantic journey has led them to be better ppl little by little to build healthier & more realistic love!

-The mechanics of writing a compelling slow-burn romance:

1. Igniting the romantic feelings slowly: Slow burns don’t work with love at 1st sight. It must first sparkle naturally, slowly & subtly. Both kyo & tohru repeatedly stated they don’t know exactly when they first fell in love. The author’s decision to create an environment where the two live together is a genius way to start & nurture their romance quietly & subtly. Kyo was tricked to stay in shigure’s house while tohru had to stay cuz she had no home, Natural reasons that force the two to spend days together & get to know each other gradually.

2. Dynamics of their personalities: For slow burns to work, the two characters need to be similar yet opposites! Kyo & tohru are both kind, endearing, innocent, good at chores, independent & hardworking. They both have history with their mothers that is filled with love yet traumas. However, tohru is calm yet prefer maneuvering around subjects, can’t stand up for herself, reads ppl easily, tends to trust ppl easily & disregard herself. Kyo is fierce, strong, tends to distrust ppl, despite ppl loving his spontaneous character, he has hard time figuring out if they’re mocking him or teasing him, very straightforward with his words & actions. The similarities helps them understand each other, however, the differences creates chances to clash & come even closer thro various situation. Ex, se01, ep2, kyo apologizing for hitting her head with the table which created the situation where she needed to confess she always loved the cat zodiac! It is HER gush of emotions that struck kyo. ppl really want my friendship? the cat is loved? Thro those difference they learned to better themselves so they won’t hurt the other, kyo toning down his anger for her, tohru desiring to know him even more as he becomes even more awkward.

3. Creating natural, realistic & convincing obstacles that prevents them from being together: This is the most important part! Slow-burn is two characters in love & cant be together despite everyone wanting them to be! if the reason that stops them from uniting is trivial, stupid, one-sided, can easily be solved, then the slow-burn would be a fillery & no one would cheer for it! Takaya-san is a genius!

Kyo can’t be with tohru cuz he thinks (a) he killed her mom! we saw thr flashback, he could’ve saved her & couldn’t save her. It was a split of a second difference & he hates himsef for NOT trying! that split of a second also prevented from thinking of better ways to save her than holding her! it happened to fast, he couldn't think of a better alternative cuz this was his 2nd time loosing someone (b) his mom’s sucide being pinned as his fault created this immense guilt & defeated feeling that “ no matter what, I just cause death & misery! There’s (c) too!, he knew tohru! thinks she deserves the world & cuz he didnt save her mom, he watched tohru talk to a freaking picture for two years! heck! he is the only one who can see thro tohru’s “ i;m okay” mask, so in se01, ep 14 in the grave yard! kyo wasnt the only one who is sad! tohru was too! & kyo could tell! (d) her mom’s death is the reason tohru is accepting shigure’s offer to stay with them rent-free in exchange of doing housework! (e)? he saw her confess crying her heart out abt missing her mom so much that she imitated her dad! so tragicly sad! (f) he saw her die in his nightmare!! how can he accept her love,now? Perfectly orchestrated obstacles!

Tohru, unfortunately, in the anime it wasn't that clear due to shortening her backstories & trauma in se03, ep6. But she too couldn’t see herself confessing love to kyo. Tohru is has low self-esteem, always thinks she’s a burden to others, an orphan who just wants her mom, so scared, lonely & sad! we the audience believed the mask! we saw her work her motherly charm yuki, isusuz, kisa & believe her issues are not that deep. tohru wont cry for herself but shed rivers for others! grief is so ugly it broke her! I cant let go of mom, must keep her always in my heart, such a hard emotions to write & I believe 100% the director couldn’t understand her grief & decided to split ep6 between her, kyo, isuzu & shigure. But Tohru struggling to confess to kyo is no laughing matter. ppl who are grieving find it the hardest to live after the loved ones die. they wont mostly commit suicide, they are alive, but they arent living. they just go thro the motions & live for the sake of those around them but not themselves. Tohru deciding to confess to kyo is her deciding to live for herself.

4. Writing a perfect psychologically & emotionally packed climax: I dont need to explain how perfect kyo’s rejection of tohru in se03 ep9 was. How much we felt for him yet were mad at him. He we were “ ugh! kyo no!!!! I mean I get why you do that , but you idiot no! come back! poor kyo! He was just so sad & broken! OMG he’ll kill himself after finding tohru’s injured body!! he totally would! his nightmare came true! But Tohru reached him! she wanted him to be okay! he wont kill himself but still feels hella guilty! but so utterly in love with her that his instinct upon seeing her come to life after near death is kiss her! Perfect display of psychology & emotions! filled with right, wrong, sad, happy, guilty, innocent! basically so human~ As the audience you MUST have this mixture of feelings of wanting to hug him so bad cuz this boy has been killing himself for years now yet want him to stop & just see that he was a good boy afterall. Tohru is THE best girl & if the audience are cheering for kyo to be with her, kyo really deserves her! The only problem is for kyo to see that now.

5. The Perfect wrap up of all romance: If you make your audience suffer the slow-burn this long, you gotta reward them good! & Takaya-san delivered! Just like how the entire romantic story is realistic, the reunion must be as realistic too! Tohru is hurt by kyo;s words. Facts remain his words were hurtful to her. I love that was addressed! tohru gets to tell her side, too! If you love someone, you are bound to be hurt by them as much as be happy with them. Simply cuz they matter so much to you! you arent one person, but two ppl coming together. Kyo must work hard for this confession. Must run & chase her. Must earn her proper! He gets on his knees, I cant express how important that is! he is way taller than her, Imagine apologizing while she looks way up & he looks down? He gets on his knees & apologize like a man, for every mistake, all while not loathing himself. He aint going back to that deep abyss again. He did wrong by her & he is owning up to his mistakes. Give me one chance. I’m not gonna force you with persistence or guilt you into taking me. Give me ONE chance cuz i deserve it & no more. The choice is yours. She asks to confirm, he shows her, they kiss, they hug, they are rewarded with a blessing from the heavens! One of the most simple yet emotionally fulfilling confessions in anime!

- Hugs over kisses: (And her kiss hugs her & the curse was lifted):

Prince charming kisses the princess & she wakes up~ they live ever after~ except furuba is all abt “ eternal ever after is not true, real life is where the real love is”

Kyo kissed tohru once, she didnt wake up, she didnt even think he loved her back. didnt even remember the kiss.

Kyo hugged tohru once. se01, e024, He initiated it, tohru was all in tears, surprised, happy & so utterly in love. he called her name for the first time ever, for a brief moment, they both connected, they both comforted each other. The rain stopped, he became a man not a monster, she got him back. She got her kyo that she fought for with none other than kyo himself.

kyo hugged her again, se03, ep6. They both initiated it. He made the first move, pulling her just a little closer, she made the second move & hugged him hard, he transformed, it was a moment were they both connected, both so sad & broken, both feeling needy for the other, both desperate for the other, both just living the moment. the result is them coming closer, her wanting him more, him realizing her love, there is no escape. Admit it. she loves you. You can tell.

Kyo hugs her again today. He asks permission. No spur of the moment feeling. But a long lasting permission to be together. To hug. He wants to hear her acceptance of his cursed body. “ is ok to hug you? this body will cause you pain as it wont be able to fulfill your wishes of constant hugs & intimacy”. She responds, permission granted, for love, for hugs, for a life long acceptance of you as a whole. weakness & strength, sadness & happiness. I accept you all in better & worse! we’re invincible. Why? cuz we understand love isnt magic. It is a path for us to walk together~~~ reward curse break!

Every time kyoru are closer it is a hug. The one thing the zodiacs cant do. A hug. They can kiss. But cant hug. comes this Zodiac Ruler girl so lonely, away from ppl, so sad, meets a cat boy who comes to the house she’s living in, a house away from ppl, the boy is drawn to the girl, However, when the boy needed to leave, the girl was able to let go despite loving him, the boy comes again, this time wanting to stay, the girl accepts the boy. They both accept the realistic reality of life. Embrace the obstacles & the achievements, celebrates the weakness above the strength. Both so imperfect. Both so endearingly dumb! that’s why the girl’s hug broke the boy’s curse. The girl’s acceptance of the cat broke all curses.

Side Note:

Kyo’s confession is so kyo! so straightforward, so direct, & so physical. He’s on his knees, holding her hands, looking at her eyes. “ i want to be WITH you. If I’m gona live, I want to to do it with you & no one else! cuz I love you” that’s it. That’s all. So sincere & so romantic!

it is crazy how different tohru & kyo are now after the confession! she stood confidently & happily & said “dont you know, I love you!” all while teasing him, her giggle is so girlish & cute! my girl is a happy woman in love! long buried the angelic mother image of se02! YES! also, kyo’s happy face is love! Dude! when was the last time he smiled so freely? Did he ever do that? He smiled in se01, ep4 with kazmua, but not like this! T_T. my son is healing~

Kyo’s “ i wont ever feel afraid if you’re with me” is a huge growth from his “ I want to protect her” mindset. Now he realizes it is two-sided mutual desire. She gives him strength as much as he does! <3

I dont like open eye while kissing, but here it is so perfect for tohru in this moment! cuz she spent days thinking kyo rejected her & even ran away as soon as she saw him, now he’s not only confessing, apologizing, admitting she is his life, but also kissing her signaling they’re romantic couple. kissing on lips is so personal, what more evidence she needs? still, her thoughts? “ it’s like a dream?” aww~~~ tohru~~~ my precious girl! she just cant believe all her suffering is over, now? She was just practicing “ i’m okay” smile & now she’s an official girlfriend to the man of her dreams? He just bent da kneeee~ go for it queen!

yuki’s face when tohru cried is exactly what I meant of “ allowing yuki to have strong facial expressions”! XD these types of faces humanize yuki so much into the teenage boy he is! Unfortunately the anime team only sees him as the pretty prince in most times. That’s why fave yuki is when he’s with kakeru. He becomes so un-princly as he should be.

Speaking of yuki, I see you anime team~ postponing his moment into next ep so him & machi wont be overshadowed by the long awaited kyoru!! While this defies the perfection of all cursed zodiacs breaking on the same ep making akito’s breakdown less perfect & poetic, I take it as the anime team admitting they underdeveloped yuchi & decided let’s give them more screen time & not putting them in close distance from any couple. A week later ep is enough with lots of time. I dont mind at all, I’m just saying more time after/while confession is not what i was hoping for~~ sigh~ At least I hope yuki would say sth along the lines” all this time I was looking at you, i realized i love you” to imply he was thinking of her as a lover not his kindness for someone he helped. I just dont want their love to be sudden simply cuz yuki needs happy ending. oh well~ I’m sure whatever it will be, the anime will give it utmost attention.

That sad moment when kagura wasnt allowed a moving image. lol. girl was given a still image that didnt even move with the breeze! T_T

Not gonna lie... the scene with kazuma & kyo was underwhelming. Why the wide shot? I mean you dont need budget for that. Just give me a closeup from the waist up with kyo head buried in kazuma’s chest. Dont need to waste budget on kazuma’s face, either.... do the old trick of hair covering eyes & show me glittery tears~ why the awkward shot of kazma towering in his own house! how tall is this man & why cant he he fix his roof?...lol

Also, shigure, you got scars man... who can hurt shigure? akito? gotta be her. I dont think hatori scratches...lol.. Aya? nah~ too busy with Mine! yup, akito... another steamy night? could be, she’s changed as he wish now. But scratching a face is weird while..um..kissing? a quarrel? but why? I bet she wants him now & we know he wants her....

More on part 2! especially abt the curse’s lore~

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #happy paper #final season #part 1

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dattosdan · 2 years

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Undertale Theory: Alright, so a Major part of this Theory isnt mine, i mightive gotten it from a youtube comment, a tumblr comment, or even a post from tumblr (If i did please dm me the post so i can link it)

So basically, its about human souls ok? So, as we know when a monster absorbs a human soul, they gain a loooooootttt of power, right? But like, and this speaking as a person who has a lot of experience being human ok? I dont really think humans are that powerful, i mean like, sure, the average human could probably take on like 10 monsters or something, but if they jumped you? And also, when playing undertale, we have the mystical power of being able to reset, and save and load, without those, frisk probably wouldve died to something lame like a vegatoid or froggit while in the ruins, and they wouldve gotten the 7th soul they needed, cause the truth is, Frisk ahs died MANY times, its not their human powers that make them powerful, its our ability to remember attack patterns and learn from our mistakes over many many death, so overall frisk is nowhere near the power of equalling "Every soul in the underground."

So heres the part that i got from somewhere else right? The theory goes that, The game never actually states that a human is as powerfull as every single monster in the underground, rather, it states that they're SOUL, is as powerful as the souls of every monster in the underground, meaning that Frisk isnt nessecarly using the full extent of their souls power, its also directly states in the game that monsters are deeply attuned to their souls, so we can speculate that if they were to absorb a human soul with its potential, they would also be better attuned to it then humans are, and they would become a godlike being.

This makes sense on a lot of levels, but it also has some questions that cant be awnsered, lets go over what could be some proof for it first, So when frisk was fighting Hypergod of death Asriel, they were tanking his blows quite well, which should be impossible considering that Asriel had infinite stats, but if we consider the fact that they were determined as all heck from all their friends believing in them, we could maybe hypothesize that, this determination helped them reach a bit further into their soul, and unlock a bit of their souls latent power.

Another question is answers is why do human souls linger after death even if they're bodies are destroyed? Its because their soul is much more powerful then their bodies are.

Now to talk about what it doesnt answer/counter points against it, if you have any counterpoints yourself feel free to comment, i'll read them all im sure i missed something stupid. Alright now for the first one, why does the hyper god of death Asriel become infinitly powerful with the equivalant of 7 human souls compared to when he absorbed Charas soul and died, or when he was omega flowey and could be injured? The awnser is that i have no fricking clue, one theory i thought of was that maybe human souls all held infinite potential, and that maybe Monsters had to get several to unlock their true potential, but that makes no sense, as we can see when Flowey become a god, the souls of nearly every soul in the underground does infact equal one human soul, so by the logic we just states, monster souls should also hold the same potential for infinite potential, but then you consider the fact that monsters are more attuned to their souls then humans are, and you realize that if they did have that potential, they would be so much more powerful, it makes no sense.

Another huge counter point is, if monsters really arnt all that outmatched by humans like i stated, why did they lose the war? Surely they only needed like one human soul, and then the rest would be easy to get with said human soul absorbed? And yet the game claim that not a single human soul was claimed. The only counter point i have to argue that statement is that Asgore/the monsters of the underground killed 6 human children, meaning more likely monsters either chose to not go order 66 on their ass, or that humans protected their younglings cause they were aware of the monsters power, humans also probably had better weapons, more monsters, and judging by the gameover screen, more then likely had the ability to just shatter their soul when they die, meaning that monsters cant absorb them when they die, taking all this into account, you could probably still make an arguement that humans arnt really that physically superior to monsters, i mean like, when was the last time you saw a human suplex a boulder, but it becomes a lot more dubious adn questionable.

That's all i pretty much got for this theory, tell me what you guys think, thoughts, evidence, counterevidence etc.

#undertale #undertale theory #undertale pacifist #frisk #undertale frisk #frisk undertale #asriel #asriel undertale #undertale asriel #flowey #flowey undertale #undertale flowey #undertale souls

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rint4rous · 4 years

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hogwarts au! oikawa

a/n: wrote this with a bad headache LMAO so if you see mistakes no you didnt <3

yeah help

anyway

oikawa toru

sixth year slytherin

captain of slytherin quidditch team

this one. very popular with the girls.

always gets gifts and confessed to, he turns them all down nicely tho

he flirts with them a little but never goes out with anyone

thanks but no thanks, hes focusing on quidditch

mostly hangs out with hanamaki, matsukawa, and iwaizumi

you, sixth year gryffindor

a chaser for the quidditch team

actually you and oikawa had a bit of a rivalry thing going on

because oikawa was getting good grades AND is good at quidditch

and it doesnt even look like hes trying.

and he lowkey comes off as arrogant sometimes

and youre like i hate geniuses

the two of you met during first year when he tried playfully hitting iwa in the hallway but iwa dodged

and you happen to be speedwalking past and then next thing you know you get slapped???

you stop walking and turn to oikawa

hes like HOLY CRAPDFHJSHJR

“I AM SO SORRY-”

“it’s alright!”

“are you sure??”

“yeah, it was an accident, right? …. unless it wasnt?”

“NO I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT”

“i thought so! see you ‘round!”

then you skip away

yeah. yall dont really start competing and shit until you found out your mom and his mom had BEEF??? WHEN THEY WERE IN SCHOOL????

you found that out at the end of first year

“i heard tachibana’s son is in your year. or i guess she’s oikawa now.”

youre like yeah what about it

“my dearest y/n, you’re a smart little girl, okay?”

“so make sure you’re better than that oikawa kid, alright?”

and little innocent you is like “ok”

so start of second year, you study and work extra hard

but here’s perfect little oikawa who always knocks you down to second place

at first youre like. i’ll just work harder!

and he joins quidditch and so do you

so you try hard at that too

you’re not like a sore loser or anything so when slytherin wins you shake his hand with a smile

but by the end of the year you’re just kinda :/ now because you never see him studying or practicing spells so how the fuck is he BETTER THAN YOU AT EVERYTHING!!! ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!

third year you come into school with like not very good feelings abt oikawa

and your mom was on your ass about your grades and you’re like omfggg im TRYING OKAY IM TRYING SO HARD

too bad tho thats when he starts liking you …

middle of third year is when you start expressing those feelings for oikawa out loud

“i hate self-centered geniuses. come back down to earth, will you.”

he heard you say when test results came back

and hes like is she talking abt me? lol nah shes probably talking about stupid ushijima over there

and then he finds out you were in fact talking abt him

hes kinda hurt lol

then when the new term rolls in

and the two of you just start talking shit about each other and start arguing all the time

“what’s the answer, l/n?”

“fairy wings.”

“oh my bad, i didn’t realize she said oikawa, and not l/n.”

“oh sorry, i thought you wouldn’t know the answer so i answered for you! i saved you from embarrassing yourself. you’re welcome~”

your seatmate yaku was holding you down with all his might and HOW IS LITTLE MAN ABLE TO HOLD YOU BACK HIS GRIP IS STRONG BRO

the whole class s ighs here we go AGAIN

the teacher doesnt even bother sending you guys out to hall anymore because this happens so much

you always try to sabotage each other in potions

one time his eyebrows almost burned off after his potion exploded in his face

makki and mattsun like LMFAOWFEHERGUYER

then when the year ends you’re like ranting to your mom like “i hate geniuses. who does he think he is? just because he can beat me at everything?? i’ll show him. i’ll make him eat dirt in the field. i’ll wipe that dumb smirk off his face. i’ll-”

your mom: omg my little baby so full of hate just like her momma

fourth year you’re so determined to beat oikawa at something

he sees you in the library, unprovoked, once and he comes up from behind you like

“aw, is l/n gonna try beating me again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

you: hold it in hold it in hold it in YOU’RE MATURE NOW Y/N L/N. YOU SHOULD BE MORE MATURE THAN THIS DIMWIT IN FRONT OF YOU. inhale exhale inhale exhale

“aw, is oikawa gonna try beating ushiwaka in quidditch again this year? you know there’s no point in trying.”

way to be mature

poor oikawa tho you pressed a wrong button so he just leaves silently

you kinda regret it after

so this year goes like the last and so does the next

“arent you tired?? of competing with oikawa all the time??” your friend semi asked you

“kind of”

“then stop?? you dont have to fulfill your mom’s high school revenge lmao”

“ughh eita i know but im too far in”

one time you were out breaking curfew #savage

no but seriously you couldn’t sleep so you thought some fresh air will help, the dorms were super suffocating right now

you were stressed after your mom’s monthly letter

beat oikawa this beat oikawa that

you turn at a corner and you see the man himself, ALSO BREAKING CURFEW

now the both of you are looking at each other like 👁👄👁

“GOD L/N I THOUGHT YOU WERE A TEACHER I NEARLY DIED FROM A HEART ATTACK”

“shush before we both get caught”

“right sorry sorry”

“so what the hell are you doing breaking curfew.”

“what are you doing breaking curfew.”

“i asked you first”

“so?”

“just answer the question, oikawa.”

he looks around, making sure the coast was clear before he motions you over to him and as you walk towards him

you see the door hes standing in front of

he drags you in there and what you see is

a bunch of practice dummies

“yeah i,, practice my spells here at night. contrary to popular belief i’m not a genius like ushiwaka or tobio. i’m flattered you think so, though.”

and youre like he... actually practices?? he is actually human?

“what’s with that look? you wanna join me practice at night?”

“as if-” and then you see the book of spells and you guys aren’t even learning any of this YET. and you are determined not to fall behind oikawa “sure.”

oikawas like pardon?

you: i SAID SURE.

and so now at night you practice spells together

only because you want to beat him as if

the arguing goes down a little because you get caught up in beating each other at who gets to do the spell right first that practice runs super late sometimes and you dont have energy to fight with each other that early

everybodys like ??? huh????

but then you’re back to the usual bs in the afternoon and everybodys like oh okay so the world isnt ending yet

so anyway !! yall are practicing again

you’re pointing your wand at a practice dummy and trying to focus so you dont accidentally do something dumb

"hey why do you hate me so much?”

LITERALLY CATCHES YOU OFF GUARD AND BREAKS YOUR FOCUS

“it’s not because i hit you when we were first years right? it really was an accident i swear-”

“you still remember that?”

“well yeah… because i cant think of any other reason why you don’t like me.”

“um… trying too hard to please my mom, i guess. what about you? why did you try so hard to beat me at everything?” you ask, regaining your focus for the charm

“idk, you never paid attention to me unless i did.”

you scoff, “why? you don’t like me or anything, do you?”

“i do tho??”

he literally said that just before you chanted the spell and you got caught off guard and

“stupefy!”

it almost hits oikawa

oikawa: WHAT DID I DO

you: SHITHEAD DONT SAY THAT WHEN IM ABOUT TO DO SOMETHFIBEFH

“HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN???”

“I DONT KNOW IT WAS FUN COMPETING WITH YOU WHEN WE WERE SECOND YEARS AND IT JUST DID?? I TRIED SO HARD SO I CAN IMPRESS YOU AND I GUESS MY PLAN BACKFIRED BECAUSE I DONT THINK YOU LIKE ME VERY MUCH”

now youre staring at each other and you’re both red

he kinda quiets down “and you’re a better rival than ushijima anyway. i don’t mean any of the stuff i said, i swear. i know you don’t like me but i just needed to let that out or i will go insane.”

and hes just looking down all shy

at this point you actually dont know if you like oikawa or not

i mean??? you spent like 3 years butting heads with this dude

and he liked you the whole time?? hes crazy this man is crazy.

maybe you were just in denial the whole time

because?? you could’ve stopped competing with him at everything

maybe you did enjoy it somehow

he did make your life at school interesting

“let’s go out on a few dates and we’ll see.”

his head just whips up and his eyes like light up and hes so EXCITED

in the time before you officially started dating

you find out from iwaizumi that even tho he smiles at a lot of girls its actually rarely genuine the only girl hes ever seen oikawa smile about genuinely was you

and that his mom actually didnt approve of him playing quidditch at first because he had a bad knee but he pushed for it because he really wanted to

he has like a smug and a flippant demeanor but hes very attentive and super caring !!

hes super passionate and hard working at what he does and

i guess now you finally realize you are falling

it takes five dates until the two of you officially start going out

if you tell third year you that you were dating oikawa she would never believe it but here you are, walking to class with him

when the two of you walked in the classroom talking

like TALKING NORMALLY AND NOT THE USUAL “i will choke you in your sleep” “ooh, kinda k-” “don’t”

it was already sus when the arguing toned down a bit but now that its like. REALLY GONE?? everybody is so confused

LMFAO matsukawa asks like “what happened?? are you guys broken?”

“no???”

“how rude! dearest y/n and i are dating now!”

everybody in this class: see now thats crazy. that is crazy.

makki: maybe we didnt hear him right. say that again oikawa

oikawa: me and y/n are dating.

everybody: oh okay bc we thought you said you and l/n were dat- WAIT SO YOU AND L/N REALLY ARE TOGETHER???

you: unfortunately

oikawa: h-hey :((((

everybody: SO WE DONT GOTTA LISTEN TO YALL ARGUE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING??? YOU HAVE TO TREAT THE WHOLE CLASS TO BUTTERBEER I THINK WE DESERVE IT AFTER THESE THREE YEARS OF CONSTANT YELLING

nobody was as SHOCKED as your moms

“y/n, baby, i know i did not just hear you say you’re dating the oikawa kid. repeat that for momma again.”

“i’m dating the oikawa kid.”

like?? MOM THIS WAS TECHNICALLY UR FAULT

“so toru, what did you wanna tell me?”

“i have a girlfriend now! her name is y/n l/n.”

“l/n? surely not THAT l/n’s daughter, right?”

“oh it is that l/n.”

when your families have dinner together for the first time

THE TENSION LMFAO

but they do try hard to get along. they try super hard.

they start getting along because MAN YOU AND OIKAWA WERE SOO CUTE AND THEY WANT YOU TO GET MARRIED AND THEY HAVE TO GET ALONG IF THEY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. THEIR GRANDKIDS ARE GONNA BE SO CUTE!!!

“ma, we haven’t graduated yet-”

your mom, ignoring you: THEYRE GOING TO HAVE THE CUTEST HAIR

oikawa’s mom: AND THEY’RE GOING TO BE SUPER SMART LIKE THEIR PARENTS!

your mom: AND WE’LL BE THE BEST GRANDMAS.

momma oiks: PERIOD!

steals your books from you in the halls so he can carry it for you

you tease each other with pet names and shit???

he’ll try to kiss your cheek in the hall but iwa grabs the back of his robe and pulls him away “you’re gross”

“you’re just jealous iwa!!”

when your houses arent playing each other, he goes to your games and vice versa!

tries to distract you in the field

“hey beautiful”

“toru don’t or i will make iwa knock you off your broom.”

“you're so mean”

so anyways yall r couple goals

"listen well, kindaichi, kunimi, your senior is showing you how to get girls.”

kunimi, without looking up from his book: what are you gonna teach us? accidentally slap the girl and get her to hate you for three years while you secretly pine over her during that time before confessing that you liked her the whole time and you go out on five dates and officially start dating? too much work

oikawa: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT

#oikawa toru x reader #oikawa x reader #oikawa imagine #oikawa x y/n #hq fluff #oikawa au #oikawa scenarios #hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #oikawa x reader au #oikawa tooru x reader

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kittensyoonie · 4 years

Text

Ateez Reaction

Ateezs reaction to their boyfriend being the leader of a well known mafia.

Ateez X Male Reader

Requested?: Yes, by @atinylandtostay, request found here

Note: I’m still learning Ateezs’ personality, so if I make any mistakes or anything I’m very sorry. Thank you for requesting! I hope you like it love!

Warning: this post contains gun violence and well- one contains murder. Read at your own risk.

Kim Hongjoong

Hongjoong didn't know what to say when y/n told him who exactly he was. He was shocked, scared, and most of all, confused and hurt.

He trusted y/n, he trusted him with his heart, and was hurt that y/n would keep this a secret for such a long time.

He was also scared for his band mates. If something went bad and they found out he was y/ns bf, they could target him, the company, and the boys. And the boys were his family.

Hongjoong took a deep breath and squeezed y/ns hands, looking him in the eyes. He still trusted him, and still loved him to death, he couldn't bring himself to be mad at the latter.

He connected their foreheads and didn't let go, and held onto him tightly. As if he would disappear if he let go.

"You better not do anything to get yourself, me, or my band members hurt l/n f/n."

Park Seonghwa

Just like Hongjoong, he found out from y/n telling him. It was their four month anniversary, and both of them had just gotten back to y/ns from their date, when y/n sat him down and told him.

Seonghwa sighed softly and looked at y/n who looked nervous. His eyes still showing the same fondness, but also fear.

For a second he thought y/n was joking, he was so soft and cute, even now. Y/n bit his lip out of nervousness, fear his boyfriend would reject him, and Seonghwa couldn't believe he was their leader.

"I uh, already knew, I figured it out."

Y/n was shocked and looked at Seonghwa, standing up. Seonghwa stood up too and hugged him tightly, buring his face into his boyfriends neck.

"Please y/n, please stay safe, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

Jeong Yunho

Puppy Yunho, this boy is so soft, but he could also be very serious too. He went to y/ns house to surprise him after a show. What he didn't expect was y/n was having a meeting with his gang, at his house.

He walked in and was shocked to see a bunch of men standing around y/n as he told their new plans, all those men armed. He figured it out pretty fast, his face going pale.

"Yunho? Baby what are you doing here?"

Yunho ran off and y/n quickly followed suit. Y/n pulled Yunho into his arms and kissed his head.

"I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry I didnt tell you, I wanted to keep you safe" "keep me safe? How is this keeping me safe?!"

Yunho cried into y/ns chest trying to figure out what to say and do next.

"Why couldn't you just tell me..."

Kang Yeosang

Just like Yunho, he came to surprise you. A lot like Yunho, he was shocked at what he saw.

Y/n in the bathroom, blood covering him and the ground, a bullet wound in his stomach that he was tending to.

"Y/n?! What happened?!"

Y/n sighed to himself, knowing he couldn't keep it a secret any longer, and told Yeosang the truth of who he was.

Yesang blinked and processed everything, standing still in his spot. He finally understood why y/n was so protective and cautious, and he feels kind of stupid not figuring it out sooner.

He walked over and grabbed the medical supplies, glaring softly at you, a pout on his lips.

"Let me do it, before you hurt yourself more."

Choi San

Y/n and San were out on a date, everything was going pretty well until one of y/ns exes walked in, a grin on his face. He introduced himself to San, explaining who he was, before flirting with y/n.

At an attempt to make San jealous, and scare him off, he started talking about y/n being the leader of the mafia that runs the part of the city they were in.

San however didn't seem to care, which seemed to tick the ex off. But before he could say anything, the hammer of a gun could be heard, y/n having it in his hand under the table pointed at the ex, ready to use it, before he gave up in left.

San gave a soft smile to y/n, saying they'll talk later, before pretending it never happened, shocking y/n.

"How did I never notice you had a gun?"

Song Mingi

He didn't mean to invade your privacy, but after what he found, he felt he had the right to do so. He found wads of cash, along with a gun, the infamous name of the mafias leader carved into it.

He was a smart boy, he knew exactly what that meant. When y/n came home he'd yell at him, anger and fear in his voice.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" "I wasn't ready!" "Wasn't ready or didn't trust me?!" "Wasn't ready! I was scared you'd leave me!"

When Mingi realized you were telling the truth, he took a deep breath and calmed down, going over and pulling his boyfriend into a hug.

Y/n was angry but at the same time scared. He was a badass, but around Mingi he showed his vulnerable side, and trusted him with himself.

"I still love you y/n, but please, this is too dangerous."

Jung Wooyoung

You killed a man right in front of him. Simple but at the same time not so much. All Wooyoung knows was this guy came to kill his boyfriend, but that's really all. He had no idea y/n owned a gun, or had the mentality to murder someone like its his job.

Oh. Then it hit him, the look in your eyes, why the man wanted to kill him, he slowly started to figure it out.

Y/n walked over and placed his hands on Wooyoungs cheeks, checking to make sure he was ok.

"Who... Are you?" "Im me Youngie, just a side I haven't showed you yet."

Y/n explained it to him, as he let out a shaky sigh, looking over to the body. He looked over at his boyfriend, seeing fear in his eyes, and he knew what he was scared of.

"Let me help you get rid of him, then we can talk..."

Choi Jongho

"Y/n, I know you're hiding something from me, please just tell me."

Y/n sighed and gave up on hiding, telling Jongho everything, looking him in the eyes the entire time.

"So that's why you carry a gun, and are picky where he go? Not because of who I am, but who you are?" "I do it for both of us, not just me Jongho."

He doesnt really look impressed, and was pretty angry. At the same time though, he couldn't figure out how you managed to fall down this path so hard.

Then he remembered your past, and figured it out, joining the mafia is what kept you alive, and being the leader is what's keeping you alive now.

"There's no way I can convince you out of this is there?"

Angsty time, im so bad at angst though vgulfkyd. I hope you guys liked it!!

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jazajas · 4 years

Text

okay so i finished love, victor a while ago and i saw some other reviews and thoughts about it here so now i've got a pretty good list on my thoughts and feelings.

tl;dr: it has some issues, yes, but im gonna hold out and hope it gets better later on because the same thing happened with the first few eps, i wasn't that into it but then it got good, and nothing is ever great with the first season, because at that point we're getting used to those characters.

⚠️caution: spoilers ahead (im on mobile, i cant get an under-the-cut)⚠️

1. while a leah on the offbeat movie would have been amazing movie sequel (even tho i havent read the book yet, im just here for the wlw content) i am kind of glad we got this instead. mostly because I've seen book series where one movie was good, so they decide to do the rest, turn out bad (hunger games? divergent? percy jackson? the hobbit?) because so much was cut from the book-to-first movie writing, that other scenes wouldn't make sense to future movies if they had those in while cutting others. however, i am sad that i didn't get to make the choice of deciding whether what was cut was wrong etc. about future movies, but i'll take what i can get.

2. LGBTQ+ POC as a lead! that's amazing! as a ace/bi lantina that's close to home (it also is great that victor's from texas and so is ya gorl) and even then it's a mixed latinx family! i think pilar mentioned that at least the grandmother left Colombia and i saw the Puerto Rican flag in victor's room. also the salazar's are definitely from small town texas, even without knowing the name. (church barbeques, the use of the words "such a diverse city" in regards to atlanta)

3. a lack of actual lgbtq+ main storylines (so far) is kind of sad for a show like this. i was getting serious bi/pan vibes (as a lot of other people) from victor from the beginning, and when it was implied that victor was actually gay (while great, not shaming) as it has been brought to my attention, there was a lot of looking at a lot of straight relationship problems (please let us know more about benji)- edit 6/18: upon further consideration, it very much is a show about questioning your sexuality, I'm speaking about the other straight relationship issues, not mia and Victor's, its just the first season.

4. let us talk about cheating for a sec. never okay, in any circumstance. i feel sorry for mia that she saw victor making out with benji and the fact that he was doing any of that in the first place. victor made a choice to lie about the espresso machine and then kissed benji at the hotel and then when benji was fighting with derek, basically confessed his love and mistakes, then proceeded to makeout with benji after he broke up with derek, he built that grave and now he must lie in it. i get having feelings for a guy when you are in a relationship with a girl, and not accepting yourself enough to end that relationship but you really want it to work so you can be "normal". really, he should have told mia after he got back from the trip tho. i get being in highschool and doing stupid stuff and making dumb decisions, but for a show aimed at teens i think we should also remind said teens to make good choices even if we have to lose some realism within the character choices.

4. pilar and her decisions based off her brother pissed me off. because i honestly think that if she'd kept her mouth shut about what she knew or confronted victor about it in the first place we could have avoided a LOT of mess. did she not learn from snooping around her mother's business about her relationships that going behind a person's back doesnt end well? i did, however, like the pilar/felix friendship and was really kind of hoping that they'd get together during their coffee hangout (although now im glad that didn't happen) because they had a deeper understanding of each other. same with wendy/felix, although they do seem to much alike to work out in the long run but i still feel bad for wendy.

5. i don't know how i feel about lake and andrew, as people separate from each other. both seem to be the way they are from their upbringing (not confirmed why andrew is such an ass, but if his comment about his dad is anything to go by i bet it's got something to do with attention) but andrew seems to be less, idk, superficial? like he turned down mia because he didn't want to be a rebound, he didn't out victor, he actually stood up to early teasing the other dudes in the lockerroom were doing at victor (with teasing of his own obviously but that interaction had him on my nice list until much later). lake? lake. i honestly don't have an opinion of her? not really. i mean after hanging out with pilar i was hoping felix wouldn't go back to lake. is her name laken? i feel like her full name is laken. but they also played the "im only like this because my mom is really superficial about stuff and i do like the geeky nice guy but appearances" to "actually screw the norms im gonna makeout with him infront of the whole student body". i honestly thought she was gonna be bi because she kept hitting on mia when she was helping set up for her "date" and "big night" and there was one point where i saw her face fall at something mia said in relation to her and idk i was hoping she'd be bi (i figured early on that victor/mia wasnt gonna work and was like "oh mia/lake would be cute" but now idk.

6. okay on to the "big night", i have one word. NO. i didn't like the peer pressure into having sex. i agreed with felix when he said "your body your choice" but im also disappointed that victor made out with mia and when lake was talking to felix after victor left he didn't try to stand up for victor.

7. on to age gaps because i hadn't really thought of this at first. we'll start with benji/derek: WHAT GRADE IS BENJI?! because that determines my thoughts. if he's a sophomore that meant that he and Derek started dating benji's freshman year and thats eugh, don't do that, don't care if its a gay couple that shouldn't be happening because the maturity of the two characters is DRASTICALLY different (this is also a reason i am not a fan of cmbyn) but that would explain why they were so rocky. hoping the event at the gay bar was open to anyone not just for drinking, but not liking that fact that not one of the adults with victor were like: hey, this is a 16 year old, that's kind of wack when that dude was hitting on victor. that made me question some stuff. although i figure it might be making up for the lack of a gay bar scene in love, simon. but even then, in svthsa it's a restaurant with a bar that some people go to just to drink at, it wasn't just a bar, simon could be there but should NOT have accepted drinks from college kids, not matter how attractive.

8. i loved how bram and simon and their friends helped victor out though. i like how bram was like: hey i know my friends are a lot so here's a gay basketball league becaue there's no one way to be gay. i like how Simon talked about needing help himself just to help victor and how he said his friends were cool with it because it's a community. i like of justin(?) mentioned how being what his parents wanted was putting on a mask and pretending, not him doing drag. my favorite lines from that ep are: "and before you ask my pronouns are they/them/theirs" "'they're all gay? even that guy? he's like [insert really tall number]' 'yeah. you should see him in heels'" "or in simon's case: really unathletic" "and also because bram said that if i wore [the jean jacket] one more time he'd burn it". also katya was there. and the group hug too!

9. the back hand homophobia in relation to family is sad, but realistic and i sincerely hope his parents are kind enough not to be too harsh on victor because of it. anything they say that isn't positive or supportive of victor is bad but i hope they realize that there is more to him than that and that they can come to terms with it because it's not always that hard to be a part of that community and super religious. i am biromantic and catholic. and while there are some things i wont agree on my mom with, i know that it's more of a strike against God for kicking out gay kids from families than it is to be gay, because those parents were given trust by GOD to love those kids no matter what, and be good parents. so in the end, the parents are wrong and harmful and in the case of christians against jesus's teachings to love everyone.

10. this is fan speculation but dont think simon/bram are going through a rough patch? i honestly think it'd be a little cruel to the characters to have on of their actors be producing but then not have that relationship stay. and while it's not set in stone and obviously things happen in the real world, we have no proof script wise about there being a rift. all we have are bad photoshopped ig photos and scenes where two characters are never standing next to each other probably beccaue schedules never link up correctly for minor characters. who knows, maybe nick robinson was filming for a movie where is does have an even more major role than victor's gay guru in a series about victor so his filming time was around that. im gonna keep hope that things are okay.

11. that being said: we need more mainstream wlw content, because someone said it earlier and it really does seem to be catering to straight girls. i'll admit i did freak out when benji played call me maybe which is something i associated with him and victor but then kissed a guy because who wouldn't? we get that serenade and sweetness and then it'a ripped from us. but i did mellow out. if i flipped later it was because victor was making dumb decisions and i had to give myself a moment of compsure before i continued.

in the end, i'd say that there is a lot of growth this series needs to go through, but i also know that some people just aren't going to like it and i get that. but i also know that sometimes the best of stories have rocky starts, nothing is ever perfect from the beginning. and besides, further seasons are on hold until we figure out this covid thing, which means that you bet they're gonna be looking at our feedback. they saw what we thought before, they can do it again

i really did like it but we need more ACTUAL lgbtq+ relationship stuff from this series and better decisions on what we are teaching the younger generations, as well as what we want to focus on and realism within characters. i'm giving it an 8/10, because there is always room for growth and i really hope we get better things out of this than what we have been given in season 2.

edit: someone mentioned it really seeming like it was meant for Disney+ and i felt that. also to anyone who reaches the tags agter reading ALL OF THIS: i am sorry

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merakiui · 4 years

Note

Can you please write yandere Jamie accidently hurting his darling and he doesnt stop until their bone crack

Porcelain (Jamie)

TW: yandere, violence (broken bone), captivity, abuse

The sun hasn’t risen yet, but you’re already up. The stable is dark and cold, and you can feel the chill seep into your numb legs. If it hadn’t been for the subtle creaking of the door, you wouldn’t have realized just how golden of an opportunity this is. In the shadowed room, you stare at the door until your vision darkens. And then it brightens when you blink, and you realize a sliver of the outside world is peeking through a crack in the door. You’re running on a few hours of sleep, but there’s no mistaking the movement.

The door’s unlocked.

Jamie must’ve forgotten about the latch when he came to check on you and the horses last night. He’d said you needed time to think after your outburst. Something about connecting with the horses that whinny and snuffle all around you. It’s a stupid sentiment, but a punishment is a punishment and you can’t fret over what could’ve been done to prevent it. All you can focus on is the present and the stable door that sways weightlessly in the harsh wind.

You grasp the coil of the prickly rope and tug, but it doesn’t budge. Your nails have been cut down to the skin, courtesy of Jamie, so they’re of no use. Ever since he brought you into the stable, you’ve felt more like an animal and less like a human. Perhaps it’s the way he treats you, so calm and deliberate even when you’re glaring and spewing harsh words. He’ll pat you like he does with the horses, stroking your hair and muttering soothing words about how much he wants to bring you back into the farmhouse. The small price for a warm bed and a warm meal is good behavior.

There’s no way you can obey someone who’s got you locked up like an animal. And he expects you to love him in return? As if.

While you feel around on the ground for anything that could be used to cut the rope, the horse in the stall beside you huffs, stomping its hooves against the dirt ground. You make a shushing noise in vain, but it does nothing to stop the mare that’s now wide awake. In no time, the rooster will cry out to welcome another dewy morning and you’ll have to face Jamie. Your hands work at the rope quickly. The more time you spend whittling at it, the less you’ll have to navigate the outdoors.

After what seems like forever, it comes loose and the thick knot unfurls. You sigh out of relief, reminding yourself that the situation could be worse. Luckily, Jamie doesn’t own any chains—not that you know of. You hope he doesn’t have anything stronger because it would just add another layer of difficulty to this mess.

Good riddance to that awful rope, you think, rubbing at your ankle. There’s no doubting the rope burn that smarts under your icy fingertips. It was bound to happen with the amount of time you spent cooped up in the dreary stable. As you stagger to your feet, grimacing at the sudden weight, you’re reminded not to falter. Even pausing to take a breath is time wasted, and so you stumble towards the doors. You consider taking a horse as you pass, but that wouldn’t work in your favor. For one, you hardly know how to mount and steer one, so riding is out of the question. You’d probably get bucked off the minute you try to scramble upon its back.

The sky is in the middle of its transition from eerie night to morning, and you move with stilted vigor. Squinting, you attempt to pick out a hiding spot in case Jamie were to see you from the second story. Your spine is shuddering and you can’t tell if it’s from fear or the cold. Nevertheless, you move forward, passing the chicken coop and eventually coming down the rocky path that leads out into the open pasture. Your only choice is to head towards the corn field on your left, but a simple question is stopping you: Would you rather get lost in a maze of towering green stalks, where the threat of starvation looms, or would you rather run back into the comfort of a cozy house?

It’s torture either way, but you never had much of a choice to begin with.

You’re at the edge of the field, stopping only to catch your breath. How long has it been since you’ve walked such a great distance? The sun breaks over the horizon just as you step into the field, and the rooster cries out its morning wake-up call. Something whizzes past your arm at once, almost scraping it in the process. Your instincts have you on your knees, cowering at whatever might’ve come at you. A thump catches your attention. Lying in the grass is a stone that can’t be any bigger than the cap on a water bottle. Confused, you pick it up, wondering where it came from.

Your gaze trails beyond the rock, focusing on the boy standing in front of the gate. He’s holding a slingshot, a simple warning that incenses your already buzzing nerves. You must’ve woken him up because he’s still in his night clothes, seemingly unfazed by the cold breeze. There’s a tense silence that settles between the two of you, so thick it couldn’t possibly be cut with a knife. You’re relieved he’s still relatively far because you wouldn’t be able to handle whatever mood reflects in his expression.

You open your mouth to say something—an apology or even an excuse—but the words never come. Jamie steps past the threshold, dropping the slingshot, and that’s when you jump to your feet, hoping to make it into the field before he can catch you.

“Ah! Hold on a moment!”

You’ve always been faster than Jamie. Now it’s just a race between desperate fear and sheer willpower. With legs that haven’t been put to work in a while and a pair of lungs that burn with effort, you struggle to pick up speed. One moment you’re navigating through corn and the next you’re falling on your stomach, landing so hard the breath gets knocked out of your windpipe.

“Jamie...” you wheeze, hands scrabbling through dirt to find something to defend yourself with. “You’re crushing me...”

“Sorry about that.” Despite that, he doesn’t get off of you. “I forgot to lock that darned stable.”

“Yeah. I was just—“

“Were you tryin’ to tell me? I appreciate it, but it’s not good if yer gonna escape like a hog drawn to food scraps.”

"I wasn’t trying to escape! I just...wanted to tell you about the lock.”

“Hm.” He moves off of you, a blank expression painting his youthful face. You turn so that you can look at him. Within seconds, a smile blooms. “Of course! A farm ain’t a farm unless you’ve got true grit.”

“R-Right. So let’s pretend this never happened.”

“A horse won’t learn if yer not gonna discipline it when it drinks from the wrong trough. You’ll just escape again, won’t you?”

“That won’t happen. I promise.” Jamie grabs your wrists to steady you as you attempt to get up, effectively pinning you to the ground. Now you’re starting to worry. Why is he dragging this out? If he’s going to punish you, you’d prefer he get it over with. You yelp when he begins to crush your wrists. “Get off of me! It hurts!”

“Sorry.”

Tears gather at the corner of your eyes, and you weakly kick at him. “I said it hurts, you stupid country bumpkin! Can’t you listen?!”

Ah, there’s that nastiness that’s sprouted from fear and hatred. He frowns, catching your leg before it can make contact with his face. Your wrists are released at once, and you flop back on the ground, chest heaving angrily.

“Now that wasn’t very nice of ya. If yer gonna be difficult...” Jamie squeezes your ankle so hard that your vision flickers. “I’ll just have to teach you not to cause trouble. It’d be better for the both of us if you'd behave.”

“Stop... It hurts so—“ You’re shrieking now, writhing underneath him like a salted octopus as your talus is crushed in his hand. Your other leg refuses to move, frozen with shock. The tears are falling freely now as you beg him for mercy. “I’m sorry! I won’t try to escape again! Please, please—“

“Are you sure?”

For a moment, you swear he eases up on the pressure. Frantically, you try to explain yourself, but all that comes out are garbled sobs and sniffles.

“Silence ain’t gonna work...”

And then the pain sharpens to a deadly point, striking every nerve until you can hear the bone snap. Like a wooden board splitting into unforgiving shreds. No matter how much you weep and scream, no one will hear. You can’t even swat at him with your arms; your entire body gives out the moment your ankle shatters. Blinding pain races up your leg, numbing your overheated brain. Jamie’s never heard you scream like that before. He flinches, partly shocked when he notices your gnarled ankle, swelling miserably in his hand.

“Oh! I didn’t mean to do that.” Sometimes he’s not even aware of his own strength. He’d only meant to hold you in place so you wouldn’t kick him, but it seems like he forgot to regulate that boorish strength of his. “It’s okay. Don’t cry.” He swipes at your tears with his thumb, a gentle smile decorating his features. “Yer just a little dinged-up. It’ll heal.”

For once, he forgets all about the fear that had snagged his heart when he noticed you staggering out of the stable and the sadness that had lingered when you insulted him. You probably didn’t mean it, but those words still stung.

“Let’s get you fixed up. You’ll feel better with some rest and a good meal.”

Jamie picks you up, awkwardly trying to hold you in a comfortable position. Your face contorts with the movement as your legs dangle. You don’t even hear him as he mumbles about how sorry he is—how he didn’t intend to break your leg. All you can think about is the pain and the gruesome sound of cracking bone.

Jamie watches you as your consciousness fades in and out. He never realized how fragile you were. Almost like a porcelain plate that’s been kept on the highest shelf. It’s a shame you’ll be unable to walk for a while, but he’ll help you through it all. Although you can’t hear him, it’s a verbalized promise. He regrets his actions—he always does—but a darker part of him remains relieved. At least you won’t run away now, and he’ll be able to keep you in the house where it’s safer.

No more punishments for a few months. A battered leg is punishment enough.

#yandere afterl!fe #yandere after l!fe #yandere afterl!fe jamie #yandere jamie #yandere afterl!fe x reader #yandere jamie x reader #jamie x reader #afterl!fe #after l!fe #afterl!fe jamie #yandere

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jungshookz · 5 years

Note

I rlly love librarian joon so much that ive been rereading it and i was wondering,,, maybe a drabble on how y/n gets a tutor for her philosophy (or any subject) class and they have lessons in the library and joon gets jealous esp when y/n tutor is obvioUSLY flirting with y/n but shes an oblivious walnut (we still love u y/n) and he gets kind of insecure that y/n doesnt ask him for help instead and constantly ditches him for tutoring lessons and overall just seems to have more fun with her tutor

→ pairing: kim namjoon x reader

→ genre: librarian!joonie is back!!!!, let me introduce you all to arthoe!taehyung, oblivious!y/n, fluffy times + lil bit of angst + tinY bit of smut u know how it be

→ wordcount: 3.4k

(gif isn’t mine!)

namjoon usually doesn’t take things personally because he’s groWn and he has better things to fret over

but sweetie

he is FREttING over this very very hard

you decided to take up art history this semester and you didn’t want to sLip so you hooked yourself up with a tutor

you just came out of nowhere and you were like hey by the way i can’t hang out after class today because i have my first tutoring lesson and namjoon was like ?? do you have another philosophy exam or something

“nah i don’t have any more exams i’m just taking art history this year and i want to be ahead of everything and stuff”

wha-

namjoon thinks that he makes a pretty good tutor himself and he would totaLLY memorise 100 books worth of information so that he could teach you because that’S how much he cares for u

but of course he doesn’t think much of it because yeah it makes sense

art history isn’t namjoon’s specialty so obviously you would reach out to someone who’s actually learning the stuff

okay

whatever it’s fine

“okay! are we still going for dinner?”

“i’ll let you know but honestly probably not?? i’m behind on coursework and taehyung’s going to go over everything that i missed which is a lot!!! i’ll text you later dweeb” namjoon doesn’t even get the chance to respond before you’re leaning down to give him a quick peck and then you just yeEt out of the library

….taehyung

your tutor is a guy

which is fine!!!! totally fine

he’s just curious as to who this taehyung guy is

he’s not like a super jealous freak of a boyfriend it’s all good

namjoon purses his lips before shrugging to himself and bringing his attention back to his laptop

about 20 minutes pass and namjoon’s phone buzzes on the desk

‘we’re still on for dinner!!! i’ll meet u outside the library at 6’

hAh

see

nothing to worry about

hey

remember the thing namjoon said about having nothing to worry about

now he has something to worry about

it’s nearing 6:45 and you still haven’t shown up

namjoon sighs and leans against the front door

he could go back into the library but he already set up the alarm system for the night and he locked everything up

god it’s cold tonight

he shudders and wraps his coat tighter around himself

where are you??

and right on cue namjoon’s phone starts ringing in his pocket

he scrambles to unlock his phone and he brings it up to his ear

“y/n?”

“joon?? i’m so sorry!!!! i completely forgot about dinner i didn’t even know how quickly time was going by!!!”

“it’s fine, don’t worry about it!” namjoon clears his throat and musters a smile “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

it’s good that you’re taking your studying more seriously

yeah it kinda sucked standing out here in the cold for literally 45 minutes but u know what it’s greAt that you’re so passionate about learning new things now

“uh-huh! oh, i have to tell you aLL about taehyung he’s hilarious and he taught me so sO much and i didn’t even know studying could be this much fun! anyways i promise i’ll make it up to you-”

U M

what’s thAT supposed to mean

was studying philosophy with namjoon not fun???? he made like a shiTload of fancy flashcards and you seemed like you were having fun!!!

namjoon presses his lips together to keep himself from saying anything snarky even tho he really wants to

“i’m sorRy i’m sorry i’m soRRy i’M sorrryyyyryryryryyrryyr-“ you whine and slump in namjoon’s arms when he opens them up to give you a hug when you come in the next day

“it’s hard to hug you when you’re all floppy and boneless.” namjoon chuckles and you stand up straight before wrapping your arms around his neck loosely

you stand up on your tip-toes to give him a peck or two (or three or four or five) and namjoon hums contently

you should ditch him more often if it gets u to act like this (just kidding he didn’t like being ditched it was awful)

he has you sandwiched in between the book cart and himself and you’re not usually a PDA kinda gal but you can work with this

“do you forgive me?” you adjust his tie and namjoon leans down a little to sneak another kiss from you

“i haven’t decided yet.” namjoon jokes and you let out a small whine

“maybe if you take a quick break.,.. we can go into the backroom..,.,., i’m sure i can find other ways for you to forgive me.,,” you whistle and trace your finger along his chest and namjoon scoffs playfully before stepping aside and letting you out of the bookcart-namjoon sandwich

“i forgive you, don’t worry about it, hm? i’m sure it won’t happen again.”

“yes, you’re right! it won’t happen again. …and i wasn’t kidding about the backroom thing.”

“tempting, but… someone was being a little too loud in there last time.” namjoon pokes your nose before sliding a couple books onto the shelf and wheeling the cart back to the front counter

meanwhile you’re trailing behind him the whole time

“touché. you’re coming over to my place this weekend, right?”

“correct” namjoon opens the little gate to let himself behind the counter

“good!!! i made sure to fluff up your pillows anD i put the shirts and boxers that u left last time in the drawer”

“oh, i get my own drawer already?” namjoon teases and although you roll your eyes your cheeks are starting to heat up

ya he has his own drawer now so what it’s not a biG deal okAY

“ooh, by the way - do you think i can study here today?” you point over to the lounge area where your backpack is thrown haphazardly over the couch and your notes and pens are scattered everywhere

..classic

“the classroom that we usually go to is booked up.” you lean over the counter and give namjoon your cutest pout “and i already told taehyung to meet me here”

right

taehyung

he still doesn’t know who the guy is

whoever he is he made you ditch dinner but namjoon isn’t biTTer or anyThing

namjoon rolls his eyes playfully “don’t look at me like that, you. of course you can study here! just make sure to keep it quiet and stuff since this is the library, after all”

hey

spoiler alert: namjoon agreeing to let you study here was a big fat MISTAKE

why do bad things happen to good people

in this case the bad thing is kim taehyung and the good person is namjoon in case that wasn’t already painfully obvious

namjoon resists the urge to roll his eyes when he hears another giggle slip past your lips

yes

he loves the sound of your giggle

but noT when it’s caused by kim taehyung

namjoon peeks over the top of his book to look over at you two again

what even is he wearing

are those shoes from guCCI

he has dad-looking square framed silver glasses which look a loT lamer than namjoon’s thick-framed glasses in his humble opinion

and he’s wearing a dangly earring but it’s only in one ear like if ur going to wear dangly earrings u might as well wear them in both ears

and he’s wearing a beret???? this is the LIBRARY this is not PARIS

cE N’EST PAS PARIS

taehyung leans forward and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear before grabbing the leg of your chair and pulling you closer as you continue to babble on about something

meanwhile namjoon’s just sitting behind the counter gawking at the two of you

what is happening????? what the hell is this??????

“now, lift your hand.” taehyung’s baritone voice is suddenly all namjoon can focus on

jesus

his voice is like.,.,. smooth dark chocolate.,.,,. warm honey.,,.,.,.smokey,.., bbq sauce?,.., the point is namjoon sounds like a frog going through puberty compared to taehyung

namjoon is very obviously staring at the two of you now he’s not even going to try and hide it

“-the elegantly, loosely held hands from da vinci probably represent the most exquisite drawing of hands in the history of art…” taehyung hums and presses his hands against yours before loosely intertwining his fingers with yours “every detail of the long fingers and the beautifully modulated shading produces a convincing effect of reality so that one can almost know the person from her hands…” he pulls away and traces his finger from the tip of your middle finger down to your wrist

hausdhKJSHFJKHDS

is that allOWED ??? is that alloweD????????

namjoon is noT going to let this.,.., this.,,.,., ART HOE steaL you from him

and that’s when the lightbulb appears above his head

art history can’t be thAt hard to master…right?

long ass story short: namjoon spends the entire night going through your syllabus and making sure he’s brushed up on all of the topics so that when he teaches you he’ll have somewhat of an idea of what he’s talking about

he took out a bunch of history books and lugged them all home and he has sticky notes everywhere and his brand new notebook is full of information relating to art history

he pauses and stops typing and leans back against his chair

what the hell is he doing

he’s seriously going to sit here the whole night doing research on a topic he’s never studied before because HE wants to be the one to teach you instead of stupid taehyung

….the answer is yes

namjoon adjusts his glasses and begins typing out his notes again

“the elegantly loosely held hands represent the most exquisite drawing of hands in the history of art…” namjoon mocks taehyung when he gets to a part in the textbook where it talks about da vinci “i bet he has some kind of hand fetish.,,. that beret-wearing weirdo”

maybe he’s being a little too harsh

namjoon is not a mean-spirited person

he’s just not used to.,..,,. relationship.,,., things..,., and the..,., the jealousy thing

he thinks that it’s stupid that he’s jealous but he can’t help it okay

he can be insecure sometimes and right now he’s kinda insecure because taehyung is smooth and handsome and charming and namjoon is weird and awkward and dorky but like in an endearing way??? kinda?? and-

u know what he’s not going to worry about this he doesn’t have time to worry he needs to write out these notes

the point is

these are unfamiliar waters

he lets out a small breath

okay

nice and calm

everything’s good

EVERYTHING IS NOT GOOD

EVERYTHING IS BAD AND EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE AND THIS LIBRARY’S LOCATION IS IN HELL

“aw, joonie, that’s awfully sweet of you, but you didn’t have to! taehyung has it covered.” you coo and reach up to cup namjoon’s cheek “okay i’m going to go back to-“

“wait- you don’t even wanna try studying with me?? l-look, i made flash cards and everything!” namjoon sets the textbooks down on the counter with a thud before reaching over and grabbing the whole stack of multicoloured flash cards

“well, maybe we can study together… later! you really didn’t have to do all of this for me…” you trail off and furrow your brows

namjoon did a LOT of work like he filled out an entire notebook with notes and this is a thicc stacc of flashcards

“plus you need to dust the bookshelves, don’t you? why don’t you go ahead and do that?”

“y/n, you coming back?” you look over your shoulder and taheyung’s looking over at you worryingly and you wave him off

“yes! hold on, i’m just-“

“c’mon come sit let taehyung take a pee break or something let’s do some study- oH OH u know what i actually have a surprise for you!” namjoon rifles through his papers before sliding a brochure over to you “there’s an art exhibition in town this weekend! i can take you!!!!”

namjoon’s not aware of this but you’re not really paying attention to him because you’re looking through all the notes he wrote out for you

this is a loT of work how long did he take to write all of this down

you look up at him when you realise he’s stopped talking “sorry what was tha-“

“y/n! c’mon, i was just getting to the good part of the book.” taehyung suddenly appears behind you and wraps his fingers around your wrist

“oh, yep! okay, uh-“ before you know it taheyung’s dragging you back to the couch and you shoot namjoon a sheepish smile

it’s officially been three weeks since taehyung became your tutor

and these have been the worst three weeks of namjoon’s life

after the whole desperation act everything’s just seemed to get worse and worse and woRSE

suddenly taehyung is sucking up all of your time

you can’t grab a bite to eat with joon because taehyung wants you to watch a documentary to learn more about the mona lisa

you can’t hang out with joon in general because you’re spending every free minute studying your ass off

and all of these things have a common link

KIM TAEHYUNG

oOH god namjoon has never actively hated a person before but there’s always time to try new things!!!!!!!! HE HATES HIM

but this

this is just the iCIng on the cake!!! the cherry on the sundae!!!!!! the KICK IN THE ASS

“where are you going?? i thought we were finally going to grab some dinner together.” namjoon raises a brow when he notices you beginning to pack up early

“tae’s taking me to some art exhibition because he says it’s better for me to see the pieces up close rather than through the textbook” you hum as you start packing up your things “but don’t worry! i’ll make it back in time for dinner!!!”

namjoon’s eye twitches

you’re going to

you’re going to the art exhibition…. with taehyung……….. but u didn’t want to go when he suggested it.,,.,,.,.

“oh. i see.” namjoon slaps his book shut and clears his throat

you look over your shoulder before turning around

“…something’s wrong.”

see you have a thick skull but not to the point where you can’t see that something is obviously wrong

namjoon can practically hear the gears click-click-clicking away in your head as you stare at him blankly while trying to figure out what it is….,,. you did wrong,.,.,. ??

namjoon looks up at you and raises a brow “nothing’s wrong.” he shrugs casually before checking the time on his watch “you should probably head out to meet tae soon.” he murmurs a liTTLe more aggressively than he would’ve liked to murmur and brings his attention to his laptop

click-click-click-click-click

OH SHIT

oOOOohHHhHHH

“aw, joonie… i’m sorry!!!!” you pout and bend down and wrap your arms around him from behind as best as you can

“have i not been giving my doting boyfriend enough attention?” you tease and pop a kiss on his cheek before propping your chin up on his shoulder and namjoon lets out a sigh and stops typing

“cut it out, y/n” namjoon mutters and shrugs you off and you let out a breath

damn

he really mad

“namjoon, c’mon. i’m sorry, alright? i should’ve- you know how thick i am sometimes i thought tae was just being friendly because he seems like a naturally touchy person!”

“no one that friendly ever has friendly intentions.” namjoon turns around in his wheely chair to face you and raises a brow

“i’m sorry, joon. really, i am.” you plop yourself down on his lap and wrap an arm around his neck before leaning down to rest your head on his shoulder

his arm slinks around your waist and he rests his other hand over your lap

“no, you don’t have anything to apologise for… it’s just me and my dumb insecurities.” namjoon coughs and you pop up immediately

“what insecurities?”

“i… i dunno… taehyung is… well, he’s not ugLy, that’s for sure.,., and he seems like he’s pretty well-off with his gucci shoes and his fancy berets.,.,. aNd he seems super smart like i heard him speaking fluent french and yA i can speak french too but not thAt well and whenever i hear him explaining things to you he’s super well spoken and it makes me feel like maybe i… maybe i’m not good enough for-“

“Don’T finish that sentence. don’t!!!” you gawk and furrow your brows

how could he even think that???

“you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about. i don’t like taehyung like that, i like you. i don’t care about his gucci shoes and his french and his fancy terminology.,.,, i only like him because he makes tutoring really fun! i like you, okay? you with your dorky glasses and your grandpa cardigans and your big, big… brain!” you beam at joon and he scoffs and rolls his eyes “if it makes you feel any better i think his cologne is waY too overpowering.”

“huh. that oddly does make me feel a little better.” he hums and you grin before leaning in to give him a kiss

you tilt your head to deepen the kiss and your hand slides up namjoon’s chest to fiddle with his tie

namjoon nudges you off his lap and you’re confused for a split second but then he’s pulling you down so that you can straddle him

“how much time do you have before you have to meet taehyung?” namjoon asks innocently although his hands are not so innocently sliding down your back and getting dangerously close to underneath your skirt

he buries his face into the crook of your neck and starts planting warm kisses on your skin

you glance at his laptop over his shoulder “mm, 20 minutes?” you breathe out and let out a gasp when namjoon bucks his hips slightly

“is the,, uh.,, the act of forgiveness that you owed me for ditching me last week.,.,., is that still a thing?” namjoon pulls away and you nod quickly because YES it is still very much a thing “…u wanna… help me restock some books in the backroom before you leave?”

…u don’t even need to answer that question

taehyung enters the library to see that nobody is at the front desk

you were supposed to meet him by the math building but u didn’t show up.,., so naturally he decided to come to the library

he raises a brow and looks around the empty library

where-

“oh my god, namjoon!”

tae’s eyes pop out of their sockets when the silence is suddenly broken by a very loud moan

is that

is that u

oh my god

“yes, please, oh my god yes-“

…he’s just going to wait outside for you

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

masterlist

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sometipsygnostalgic · 5 years

Text

Assessing writing in homestuck: The difference between appealing characters and well-written character stories.

i was rambling about this to /u/cookiefonster in the discord earlier

theres a big difference between what qualifies as "good narrative" and "good character", even when the narrative youre discussing is focusing entirely on that character.

lets give you a couple of examples:

Terezi:

Terezi's a character who has a kind of fucked up storyline that just constantly loops back in on itself; she spends all of act 5 deciding whether to deal with Vriska or not, then gets in abusive relationships in act 6 after not being able to cope with her death. Terezi ends up with massive self esteem issues. Following from THIS, she dies, and retcons the story to undo her mistake and try to prevent the collapse of her self esteem. Sounds like an epic resolution to an arc, right?

Nope - post retcon, they brought Terezi's self esteem issues back but didn't give her the time of day to properly interact with other characters about it. She was unconfident around Vriska and insecure about her altself. Then she has a bit of a breakdown, unlocking some of the potential of her seer of mind abilities, and having a realisation of who truly is. You'd think, wow, Terezi after Remem8er is going to be interacting so much more with the other kids and FINALLY overcome her battle with depression, RIGHT?!?!

uhhh..... she doesnt say anything again until after the comic is over. then shes seen travelling through space.

When the epilogues drop she's interacting with John, they're building on top of their already amazing chemistry, they seem to understand each other like nobody else does in the entire fucking saga. Then Terezi nearly "dies" but another John finds her and they have a heart to heart before Terezi decides it's time go home.

WOOOOOW, you think, Terezi is FINALLY LEARNING TO LOVE HERSELF?!¬?!?!?! an interaction with a HEALTHY PERSON?!?!?!

Then John dies. Then Terezi hates Earth C so much and is so isolated from everybody she knows that she doesn't hesitate to join the villain in space. And it's implied Vriska texts her but she never reads those messages insofar as the canon material ends.

Overall, a rather anticlimactic story about a character whose arc is constantly recycled, not allowed to be given closure at any stage, falling into the same tragedy pit. It's like an art form of cockblocking.

So, why is Terezi as cherished as she is? How come even in the face of the ending, the epilogue, where it feels like Terezi has just been going round in circles, she is probably one of the most loved characters in homestuck?

There's a few factors:

Humor - Being able to make your audience laugh in a genuine way will put you in their favour. Terezi's dark humor, which works in tandem with her general naivete, has always been delightful.

Relevance - The part where Terezi's popularity might have actually struggled would be during Meteorstuck where she was pushed on the sidelines. Every moment she's been around after GAME OVER, however, she's been one of the most active character pushing the plot and generating excitement for whatever thing she's going to do next, even if it does become a loop. Killing John>Killing Vriska>Killing Gamzee>Retconquest>Remem8er>Finding Vriska>Finding John>Leaving with Dirk to save John>??? - she's always on some sort of mission which means if you're thinking about the plot then you might be thinking about something that ties into her storyline.

But most importantly, Authenticity - Terezi's dialogue is actually very well-written, in that she's one of the least wordy characters, but she gets exactly what she's feeling across whenever she talks about it. If you look at all the conversations she's had with Vriska or John or even Dave then you can tell Terezi feels very strongly about whatever she's feeling, and is either trying to disguise that feeling or is trying to put it to words she's struggling to find. Yet even when Terezi can't describe what she's feeling, the audience knows, because her condensed dialogue is expressive enough for us to be able to tell. It also helps that Terezi is one of the most invested in the other cast members, being - if not more righteous - then more analytical of her friends, taking in why they behave the way they do. It doesn't matter that arc-wise she goes in circles, because you can tell exactly how it keeps happening.

I feel like if Terezi didn't have that factor, if there wasn't so much weight to her emotional presentation and if the audience wasn't able to "feel" for her, then she would probably be significantly less popular. I guess that’s why many people feel it’s better for her to still be stuck in the “plot” of homestuck, to lack closure, because maybe closure would feel forced in this universe that’s taken so much from its kids? How can you “forget” what happened and just act like you never entered the game to begin with? Some of the other characters have this issue and it harms them deeply.

Let’s get into that!!!!!

Lord English and Calliope :

I feel so bad for Hussie. He clearly put a lot of thought into the relationship between Calliope and Caliborn, how their characters intertwine throughout this epic story. Yet despite them being the narrative fuel for the entirety of homestuck, and having an awesome thematic ending to their tales, it feels like the "cherub wars" part of homestuck never stuck its foot too deeply in the public consciousness.

Like, let's describe their narration: Two people born in the same body, one good, one evil. One is predestined to rule over the other.

In one universe the cherubs are left in their natural state. The Just cherub, Calliope, predominates... but because the universe is rigged, she is forced to be put into obscurity, residing for billions of years in a hidden dream bubble until the time is right. In another universe, there is intervention - Gamzee introduces the cherubs to humans, and they start to imitate their concepts and feelings. Because of this, Calliope becomes a softer being, engaging happily with the humans. She even wants to take mercy on her brother! But Caliborn takes on human ambition and grows determined to stop his sister from predominating, taking advantage of the human concept of “cheating” in order to beat her at their own game.

Caliborn defeats his sister, and is thrown into a session where he’s forced to overcome seemingly impossible challenges. He succeeds, and is given the ultimate power. Caliborn can will the universe to how he sees fit.

Caliborn’s given just desserts by getting trapped in the juju by the alpha kids but not before the monkey’s paw of trapping all the (alternate) beta kids for millenia, and in becoming trapped, he ends up becoming Lil Cal and Doc Scratch, who manipulate events so that he will rise again as an adult.

But the one thing that drives Caliborn more than anything is the desire to destroy his perfect sister - Calliope. A never ending thirst for her death. For predomination Caliborn never predominated normally so he never gets over it. This is part of why he’s so obsessed with showmanship and art too, to one-up her character. He circles the universe destroying all that is irrelevant, all that is obscure, in the hopes of demolishing all versions of his sister, having the primal fear that she will one day catch him out.

Our predominated calliope meets with the ghost of her alternate self, who tells her that her purpose as a softer human version is to just live her life. To be free. To appreciate all that humanity offers her. Whereas the Alternate Calliope’s role is to commit the ultimate sacrifice, to put an end to her brother’s ego. She absorbs the Green Itself into a catastrophic black hole that erases what is left of the universe.

You think that is the end, but Calliope is reborn in a new form, rewarded for her hard efforts, and becomes a full narrator for the story itself, protecting it from the evil of the Prince. She’s an active guide for the characters of Homestuck, wastching over them. She destroys her brother once and for all, absorping him inside herself.

Wasn’t all of that FUCKING AWESOME?!?!?!??! “Wow”, you think, “Calliope sounds so hardcore!!! I’m sure she’s an amazing character to have such a conclusive storyline like this!!”

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Literally nobody on the internet sees Calliope as their favourite character, except for maybe Past!Shelby Cragg who was her artist. And while Caliborn has his fans, nobody is a big fan of Lord English either. In fact most people tend to forget about the Lord English part of him because it’s just not that engaging!

Basing this on the above analysis about Terezi, what is lacking in terms of these characters?

Humor - Caliborn is a hilarious character, absolutetly no doubt about that. He’s so stupid and the way he sees the world is hilarious. It’s almost Terezi-ish even, except far more exaggerated in terms of his vulgarity and naivete, since he was locked in a fucking cage all his life. Caliborn makes us laugh pretty much every time we see him... but this character is lost entirely in Lord English, who does not wish to engage with the audience at all. Lord English is entirely a machine at this stage, just acting to destroy. As for CALLIOPE, she was never that great in the humor department. I’d be surprised if the original Callie knows what “jokes” are. Alt Calliope was also a stooge until the Epilogue where she trolls Dirk, and yes those parts are delightful and boost her in my eyes significantly, but in the core part of homestuck she is incredibly serious all the time.

Relevance - After reading me narrate the entire Cherub plot and how impactful it was on the entirety of homestuck you’d think I’m a fucking idiot for trying to argue that Calliope and Lord English are irrelevant, right? Well Too Bad!!! That’s exactly what I think. Doc Scratch was relevant to what was happening to our core cast of characters, manipulating them behind the scenes, taking advantage of them and fuelling their personal drama for his greater gain. This is why we love Doc Scratch so much and can even enjoy Ultimate Dirk for doing the same thing. Caliborn had a reduced impact on our main cast, but Lord English’s impact is pretty much nonexistent outside of the first time we see him in Caliborn: Enter. Once again, he’s literally only there to destroy the fucking universe, but when our main characters are either enjoying themselves in the new Alpha session or in Earth C, you have to ask why you or they should be interested in what LE is doing? Dave says so himself, that LE has not done anything wrong to him so he’s not hyped to go kill him. Calliope, meanwhile.... Her relevance is split in two, and neither is too substantial to what our main guys are doing.It “makes sense” as she’s such a passive character, but Calliope’s struggle with relevance doesn’t take me as impacting her too much, and I’ll get onto that in a second. Only one alpha kid ever thinks about her, she doesn’t think about anyone except herself, and while Jade has some kind of relationship with Alt!Callie, it isn’t a personal one by any means. Calliope’s impact on the emotional arcs of homestuck is so minimal that she was erased from the epilogues which she wrote herself. Even Calliope can’t think of anything to do with Calliope!!! How about that!!!

Oh, and of course, Authenticity - Caliborn feels like an authentic character because he deals with actual struggles. Caliborn finds it tremendously difficult to do things other characters might have an easy time with, like drawing, thinking in anything OTHER than straight lines... but he perseveres. Caliborn faces his impossible and brutal tasks head on to claim the Ultimate Reward. He’s fucking EARNED that ability to destroy everything in reality, and by god he’s let us know!!! This is why Caliborn is such a cherished character. Even though he’s evil as fuck, he feels like a real kid somehow. It goes without saying that although Doc Scratch has a different kind of authentic creepiness, Lord English has nothing on him that makes him feel real. He’s just a machine, as said before. CALLIOPE’s authenticity.... The alpha Calliope is a character who became “so nice” and so “perfect” that she ended up losing her fight against her evil brother just because she was that good a person as to let him get the better of her. Nothing that ever happens to her is her fault. She never gets in any conflicts with any character ever, except for that one time she yelled too loud in Candy but nobody told her off for it. Calliope is perfect at art, a fair enough writer. The closest thing to a “flaw” she’s ever had is getting so excited about her friends that she writes creepy fanfic about them, something that is parodied in Candy, which has been implied to be narrated (or at least retold) by Calliope herself in Meat. Simply put, Calliope is... a mary sue. A flawless character. There is absolutely no authenticity and no way to relate to her. Alt Calliope.... she’s a martyr? But why does she want to be a martyr? What does she care about the human characters? She’s even less authentic. It is badass to watch her tear down Dirk, and the story takes advantage of how unreadable she is by making her intimidating as fuck, an all knowing force to contest - no, overpower - that of Dirk or even Hussie himself. Alt Callie is more knowing in her fakeness, she has a better struggle as well what with having to escape from obscurity and overcome her brother, and therefore is a better character, at the end of the epilogues, than the original.

TL;DR: It’s not just about making interesting things happen to your characters. It’s making sure they have interesting reactions to what is going on. If your character becomes someone who things just “happen” to, and who does not respond to those things in an authentic way, then nobody is going to care for them no matter how important or existentially poetic their arc is.

#long post #homestuck #terezi pyrope #calliope #caliborn #doc scratch #lord english

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viktormaru · 5 years

Text

okay here’s my full character analysis??? Headcanons???? canon retelling with my shit slapped on??? on

VIKTOR LEAGUE OF LEGENDS

(under read more cause its gonna get long)

Viktor is said to be born in the borders of the Entresol level of Zaum (aka the middle), but I’m guessing that means the lower border because of how often he’d have to move or stay away from home due to accidents.

I assume Viktor had good parents. They were artisans and seemed to encourage his creative pursuits with robotics and so on. (I also believe he is trans and that his parents supported him in that as well haha).

So yes, we have this child who likes building things. And he lives in this place that is not healthy or safe for the people that live there. His parents probably go to the upper levels to work and Viktor gets a glimpse of a better place there. He sees where he’s at and at first, he is motivated by both kindness and frustration. He is a child with a passion and all these leaks and accidents are getting in the way! So he starts studying to see what he can do. Time passes though and he realizes the extent of those things, the casualities of those humam errors. So he takes his work more seriously and soon he is producing results. But of course no one takes a teen seriously, no matter how good he is.

Until someone does and it works. His inventions are good! So he keeps doing it! He’s awkward and socially anxious but he really LOVES building things so he does it and sells his work to the factories until he gets the attention of the Zaun academy of techmaturgy (this is canon btw).

He goes into the academy and he’s.... awkward... Like, Zaun is full of weird people sure but Viktor is pretty bad at talking about anything but robotics and stuff and comes off as blunt often, so he’s kinda isolated by his peers. He doesn’t mind, he’s there to study. But professor stanwick approaches him with interest in his work and Viktor is happy he is recognized by a professional. He’s a little naive back then and trusts his teacher a lot. Which is why he is convinced to move to Piltover, despite a bit of his reluctance to leave his home. His parents wave him goodbye and he leaves.

He moves to Piltover and gets a better lab, more tools, more money and more people to help. His work just improves in time and he’s put to work with a lot of people. He once again fails incredibly of socializing properly and falls into isolation yet again (hello darkness my old friend). People end up working with him either because he’s really the best option or because they can stand him for the time he is needed {:- (

Well, that is, until he works with Jayce. Jayce is infurating and doesn’t do things the way Viktor likes doing and has this weird outlook on how things are done that sometimes just works despite it all. He’s a puzzle that doesn’t make sense and the two end up doing a lot of things together. And having a lot of discussions. A LOT of them. They are both kinda lonely. But its like.. they don’t dislike eachother?? Because they kind skipped some steps in how socializing usually goes so it just kinda worked.

They could’ve kept going, getting comfortable in eachother’s spaces until they could just go out to chill together or something but neither of them was brave enough to try it (or smart enough to realize that could be good).

But then at this time that awful chem spill happened in Zaun in the entresol level and Viktor rushes home to help.

I’d say this is where Viktor’s character starts like, solidifying I guess? Because I think for the first time, as a grown mature person, Viktor is seeing death and suffering with his own eyes. Death and suffering that could’ve been avoided. He’s watching all these people die and suffer and he can only do so much to repair the damage. If only it could’ve been avoided, could’ve been stopped. He knows it’s possible. Why didn’t anyone do it?

He doesn’t find his parents either.

So he spends the next several months throwing all his energy and sanity into doing whatever he can to help these people. He builds blitzcrank and they fix evertyhign they can. It’s a fucking CHEM spill, can you imagine just how AWFUL it all was?? people were dying for several weeks after the accident , even after the damage to the structures were already fixed. These people were slowly suffering around him and he was trying and they kept dying around him. These are workers, families. It’s a pretty bad situation.

He learnes how to infuse mechanical parts with flesh in an astonishing way just to try to replace the rotten, sick parts of the people around him. Get rid of the parts that were kiling them.

And then! He finally goes back to Piltover, after it all, and the first thing he gets is the news that Stanwick stole credits on his invention of Blitzcrank.

Like.. the emotional toll of it all? He’s tired! He’s burdened with the ammount of death he saw and people wanna be shitty and play games like that for glory and fame! It’s stupid and he doesn’t understand it! He tries to fight for his right and loses because no one really bothered to support him through it (Jayce didn’t think he’d really have to and would you look at that).

He’s angry and upset and grieving and possibly traumatized. He keeps wondering why would people do that to eachother and comes up empty. So he’s here, obsessing with replacing every part of human error to garantee that people WILL live. Of course, he’s more isolated then ever and people don’t bother to sit down and listen, they just think he’s weird and obsessed and stuff like that.

So when he needs to do the colaboration on the dive suits with Jayce and they have their fight about free will, people side with Jayce quickly. They think Viktor is mad and they had seen it coming miles away.

He gets fucking expelled from the Piltover academia and sent back to Zaun.

To his ruined home, alone, with nothing but his name and his thoughts.

Clearly that leads him into a deep depression. After all, he lost everything but he doesn’t understand why ! because sure these people in piltover like acting high and mighty and theorizing and politicizing but they didn’t have to watch children crying because they were coughing so much blood was coming out because their lungs were corroded and they wouldnt last another week. They thought viktor was mad.

And viktor had a lot of time to wallow over it, and think about his failures and suffer on his own and he’s actual conclusion is that negative emotions ( envy, pride, sadness) clouded people’s judgemetns. They’d let others suffer for their own gain out of fear of losing.

He thought that himself feeling sadness was just another obstacle to do what he had to: save people.

So he basically starts operating on himself until he can barely feel emotions anymore, removing his own happiness with it (but its not like he felt it anyway so what difference did it make). And then he starts plunging into work like never before, dedicated to this new cause that is the glorious evolution. He starts again from the bottom and once again he rises, because Viktor is a genious, and he is honest in his work, in his intentions. He wants to help.

People were scared of the Mad Man Viktor, but Viktor would do anything he could to save you if you came to him. He understood limits though, he never imposed over people. Do no harm, as they say ( what would be the point of doing that?? )

And then the other toxic even happens in Sump, another really bad one, and Viktor rushes in to help. He’s keeping these people alive in his lab but he knows he doesnt have the power to keep them so. So he goes to Jayce after an energy source.

He thinks Jayce will listen to him now, now Viktor isn’t emotive and easily hurt, now he isn’t insecure, he has a cause, he has something he fights for. A brighter tomorrow.

And Jayce calls him mad.

Viktor is kind of dissapointed, he’d think Jayce, who has always been so uncaring of people’s opinion’s would at least try to understand. He doesn’t. So he takes the crystal by force from Jayce (petty arguments can be saved for later, those people on his lab needed him NOW).

When Jayce follows him there with a hammer he understands the stakes.

One life against hundreds is an easy math. Viktor chooses to sacrifice Jayce (Jayce chose to come here after all)

But then Jayce actually destroys his lab.

And like... imagine waking up to your laboratory destroyed, just dozens of corpses of innocent people laying around. yet another failure, yet another big price to pay.

He has to start from zero again. His reputation is completely stepped on ( he is truly crazy now by everyone’s eyes) and Jayce is a hero. Blitzcrank sticks around for a little while, moved by the same passion to help people, but blitzcrank can stand the deaths and the gruesomeness of viktor’s work, he leaves to try to help in other ways. Viktor lets him of course, blitz has free will and he isn’t anyone to stop him.

Some people, desperate people, still come to him for help. He does his best to give them what they need. A strange cult forms and idolizes him, he hates it, he is no god, he is just another man. People thinking of him as an etheral being just proves his theory on how fear and wayward emotions lead to dumb, dangerous mistakes.

In the end, Viktor is trying to cheat suffering, cheat death at all costs.

I don’t believe he sent any golems or anything after Jayce, vengence is way too beneath him. Stealing? Maybe not, depends. I think Jayce became a bit paranoid after “defeating” viktor. Because Viktor said some big words and Jayce is suddenly realizing that truly, he has no purpose. He’s just a useless tool. He makes things sure, but what for? He’s raised as a hero but damn he doesn’t feel like it.

And to end it all, this is why I think Ekko and Viktor should sit down and chat at some point. They are so similar and so different all at once. They both love Zaun and its people, they both wanna protect them and have a passion for inventing. But while Viktor wants to reject his human side to achieve his goals, Ekko embraces it. Like, I don’t think Viktor shouldn’t even be his mentor, more like his colleague. Ekko is his own person and has a different way of doing things, but they could do a lot together as well.

Also Ekko and Blitz are totally friends in canon so like.. yeah.. Zaun for life....

Anyway this is it thank tou all for reading this is UUUH like 1,8k words long

extras or stuff I already said and will say again:

viktor is trans

he was an anxious yet hopeful (and maybe a bit naive) teenager

he still loves sweet things and thats canon.. he likes chilling sometimes

workaholic as seen

blames himself for literally everything like a dumbass

is kinda of very afraid of death in general

is not the kind of person that steals children to experiment on them cmon guys thats propaganda

is embarrassed of the cult following him

i guess he doesnt have his whole left arm anymore, chop chop it went

USED braces as kid

loves blitzcrank like a son, doesnt realize it

I think thats all, sorry yall

#league of legends #viktor #VIKTOR META #sdfjiusdfjsdf yea i wrote this nonstop forgive me

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low-budget-mulan · 5 years

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Hi! How often do you run into psychiatric patients during work as an EMT? I'm doing psych right now and we had a 12 yo girl whose mom had her in porn at 6mo-9mo and I just want to scream at 1. these people who are pro-porn and 2. the mom is clearly mentally ill, but still what the effffff. So how do you deal with these patients?

I'm going to start this off by saying that those parents should be reported to CPS. That is absolutely disgusting and I would not let those monsters anywhere near a child. If you have not contacted the proper authorities yet then please do so now because their child (children?) Are being abused and absolutely nobody deserves that. Especially an innocent child. If you have actual evidence of the abuse and the evil things that the parent did then those kids should be taken away and locked up never to see the light of day again. Pieces of shit.

We run into psych patients on the regular. Whether it is a person who is having a psychotic episode, a person who is suicidal, a person who cant take care of him/herself, or a person who just has some sort of addiction where they are self medicating to forget about their problems (either drugs or alcohol. Sometimes both). It is all part of the job. Each patient is different. I've had psych patients who wanted complete silence. I've had psych patients threaten to harm/murder/rape me. Hell, just a couple days ago one tried to attack me in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital. I've had psych patients who just wanted someone to talk to. And I've had psych patients that I didnt even realize were potential psych patients until after the call was over. You have to be able to assess the situation and from there you can move forward in patient care. I'll give you a couple examples of times situations were handled well and times they were not and how I decided to act/treat my patient.

1.)

We had a 911 call for a behavioral overdose. Sheriffs were already on scene (good). We get there to find a high school aged girl. She was alert and oriented (AO). Her whole family was around plus the sheriffs, plus the fire engine, plus the fire medics, plus me and my partner. There were too many people. We are trying to talk to our patient and figure out the whole story but she isnt really talking. I turn to the fire medic (they technically are in charge of medical calls, so what they say goes even if it's wrong and stupid) and say let's get her loaded up and he agrees. We walk her to the gurney and load her into the ambulance. Typically we allow one family member/friend to ride along with a patient especially if the patient is a minor. Unless the patient is a psych patient. And heres why. Once the girl was in the back of the ambulance and away from the hoards of people she started answering our questions. She told us everything that happened leading up to this point and why she did it and how she was feeling. I gained her trust by talking to her and separating her from what was causing her anxiety and other feelings that werent good. During the transport I realized she just needed to be distracted. I was monitoring her closely with the medic and got all the medical information I needed. So we just talked about school and plans for college. We talked about her favorite tv shows and how I spelled my name wrong for 13 years. That's all she needed. But not everyone needs that. This is an example of a good call.

2.)

I will start this off by saying I can be sarcastic. Which is not always a good thing. Okay so. This was a transfer call for a man on a legal hold. We were taking him from an emergency room to an actual psych facility where the remainder of his hold would be carried out. This guy was extremely tall like over 6 feet and used to be in the military and still worked out a ton so he was pretty muscular. I just so happened to be driving this day. While my partner was getting his report I went to go get a set of vitals to make sure he was stable and nothing was wrong. Before I can even get them this dude is making all sorts of racist remarks and how he doesnt want to go to whatever psych hospital we are taking him to because "its associated with a certain kind of people if you know what I mean." Then goes on to say hes not going (which tbh if you're on a hold it doesnt matter if you want to go or not. You have to go until you are psychologically cleared). I explained that because he was on a hold he had to go and I wasnt the one who set up the transfer. I literally am just the driver and I go where my dispatch sends me. He then responds with "well what if I fight you" I realize I wasnt going to get my vitals and that this guy was going to be a problem. I walk over to my partner and tell him what's going on and that we need to use restraints (which I rarely use because who wants to be restrained?). At this point we now have sheriffs there to help us get the guy on our gurney and to protect us if this guy freaks out. We get him on our gurney and I put the restraints on. After putting on restraints you have to check for a pulse in the extremity and make sure they can still wiggle their fingers/toes. So I ask him to wiggle his fingers and he flips me off. Me being the sarcastic person I am and without thinking I responded with "oh thanks. I havent had that in a while. Could I get another?" The dude then threatens to rape me and becomes very agitated. I messed up. We de-escalated the situation thank goodness. But I could have handled that situation better. I knew he was already agitated and a dumb comment like that could have easily been the breaking point for him. Dont do something stupid like that.

3.)

We had a transfer for a woman who was on a hold. This was out of one of the worst hospitals I know. Literally the hospital that killed my grandpa. I already hated being there, but how the staff treats patients both medically and professionally (if you can even call it that) was absolute shit. I hated this hospital even before my grandpa was a patient there because of how incompetent and rude the staff was. Sorry I got distracted and ranted, but the backstory is relevant. I go to try and get a report from the nurse who knows absolutely nothing about this patient. Cant give me any history. Doesnt know what meds (if any) were even given. And gets annoyed when I ask for an actual report. Not just the "oh yes that lady is on a hold. She can talk but is being selectively mute. And you're taking her to this place. K bye." At this point I realize I'm going to get nothing from this 'nurse' and I just look through the packet. I go over to the patient who is just sitting there on the bed staring off into thin air. I realized that any loud noise or sudden movement scares her. So I slowly inch my way to her and introduce myself. I tell her I'm there to take her to a different hospital where the staff will be able to take care of her better and where she can get the help she needs. In that whole interaction I got her to say maybe a couple words. And they were basically what's going on. I realized the staff at this shit hospital did not tell her what was happening. Nobody told her she was being transferred. They literally just left her to sit in her own feces because they couldnt be bothered to do their job. Before I even touched her I told her everything that would happen. I walked her through the entire transfer process and let her know what was going on. Then once we were ready to actually start getting her onto our gurney before I made any movement I told her exactly what I was doing. She was completely fine with me. Once we get her to the psych place we finish up our transport and are about to leave she grabs my partners hand says "are they going to be nice and take care of me here?" My heart broke. I told her that yes she would be taken care of and that she wouldnt be ignored here as I know this hospital has great staff. She smiled and let us go.

By assessing the situations and the patients you are able to figure out how to handle your patient. Ive learned from my mistakes and I've learned from my coworkers who have been around longer than me. But always be cautious as a patients mood can change at any time. Even if you dont do anything to trigger it. A patient will go from happy and smiling to trying to punch you in the face. Know your surroundings. Be ready to react because things can change in an instant.

Addition: any sort of illegal activity I will report to the proper authorities. I have reported hospitals, families, and nursing home for neglect and other forms of abuse. If you are sure then ask someone who knows more. I usually ask the supervisor I trust or my coworker who's been doing this for 20 years.

#long post #ignore the errors #i just got off work and am typing this on my phone and my brains not working

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