#But I loved this one too

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

#dungeon meshi #kabru #laios touden #falin touden #Happy Thistle Thursday once again. Have I been holding on to this comic for several weeks? Sure have! #I forgot how long it takes for Chimera Falin to come into play. #I still really love my 'better drawn' art of her - unfortunately it was several weeks too early for the anime only folks. #Slowly getting the hang of drawing Laios. I don't know why I struggle so much but I am getting...somewhere. #Meta time: God damn I love how the chimera shows off the expertise and gap between Kabru and Laios. #The truth is: they are both *right* and they are both *wrong*. #This creature is a combination of monster and human and they only have the skillset to deal with one of those. #Kabru goes for all the human vitals - but she isn't human. #Laios tries to approach her as a monster and is struck down by the humanity he sees in her. #She is something new that defies what they *both* understand about the world. And that makes her such a perfect antagonist. #The damsel was the dragon all along! #...She is really so cute though. Terrifying! But adorable. I am so excited to see the boom of fanart for her.

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[o0kawaii0o]

no mercy 😭

#one piece won the poll and I wanted to draw smth nice and wholesome #but I hated the perspective process and the multiple characters were a pain so where did that bring me? #that's right; perspective and multiple characters in shtpost format #don't you just love it when you put too much pressure on yourself and the way to fix that is to draw smth silly #vibrant colours go brrrr #pls trust me when I say I like sanji #I mean look at him #one piece #strawhat crew #sanji #luffy #zoro #chopper #usopp #nami #nico robin #cyborg franky #o0kawaii0o

[vistarya]

May I have this dance, Mrs Tims?

#sorry guys I know yall want to ship him with the party but I’m a chilchuck x his estranged wife truther and I’m making content for ME!!!! #I’m an advocate for wife guy chilchuck. I think he loves his wife!!! I think he wants to fix his family!!! #life’s too short when you’re a half foot to waste it arguing with the ones you love and I think he’s learned that #chilchuk tims #chilchuck’s wife #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #my art #art #illustration #sketch

[tragedykery]

I ❤️ self-loathing characters, characters who struggle with monstrosity (either fearing or embracing it), characters who are so lonely, who have a gaping hole in their chest, who bottle up & repress their feelings, who claw their way up & have ambitions, who fall down & lose everything, who search for identity & purpose yet can’t see themselves outside of what others want from or expect of them, who are hurt & hurt others, who long & grieve, who lie & pretend. characters who are messy & flawed & human

#edit: please don’t tag this with hp characters it makes me very uncomfortable. and if you really want to at least block me after #tropes #I’m just saying words but. Ugh #elli rambles #this isn’t about one character in particular #more like snippets of different characters #sokka tané priya malini azula sabran ty lee etc etc #niclays too. sadly #I hate him (lovingly) #or I love him (hatingly). I haven’t decided yet #alternatively: I ❤️ ampersands #breached containment (derogatory) #a

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF movie Mike meets Jeremy Fitzgerald

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #jeremy fitzgerald #michael afton #mike schmidt #fnaf #fnaf 2 #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #FINALLY more of Jeremy!! #sorry it’s taken so long for more of this boy but he returns 🩵 #Mike doing a self burn here too #HE knows very well he doesn’t have friends so how Michael got one #(​Mike has one friend too and that’s Jeremiah) #Least Mike made Jeremy laugh- #Jeremy just got here and his homie already being out on blast #I love the idea of Jeremy and Michael actually being friends #like Michael is awful anti social monster and he’s buddies with the most chipper guy ever #it’s good bit I think it’ll be fun to explore that more! #I gotta draw Jeremy more after this #there’s sm to draw with him 💜💜 #I hope yall like him and his design!!

[glorious-spoon]

i know we all laugh (mostly fondly) about the paper-thin plots in porn that only exist to make the sex happen, but i was reading some old stargate fic over the weekend, and i really think we're sleeping on the paper-thin hurt/comfort plot that only exists to force the characters to FEEL THINGS.

like, is this scenario realistic? no. does it make any rational sense? no. does it provide a built-in excuse for a character to collapse, bloody and disoriented, into the arms of his beloved/friend/partner? obviously, that's the whole point of this exercise.

i love it. it's my favorite thing in the world.

#writing #hurt/comfort #much like smut it operates on the assumption that we all know what we're here for #obviously you CAN write a fully coherent plot with hurt/comfort elements just like you can write one with smutty elements #and those are lovely too #but there's something so charming about fics that are like #'look we all know what you came here for. i don't have to explain myself.'

[rissaito]

“don’t cry, my child”

i was thinking about how venti canonically refers to the people of mondstadt as his “children” and how kaeya is included in that… then the brainrot took over and then i thought, what if when kaeya was a little kid and he felt lonely sometimes, venti would decide to shapeshift back into his little wind sprite form to comfort him…

#this is so self indulgent lmao #kaeya and venti are two of my fav characters so naturally i’d daydream up a bunch of hcs #hmm their canon dynamic intrigues me so much too since there’s still a lot of mystery surrounding both of them #anyways i loved drawing this one :3 #my art #genshin impact #kaeya #venti #barbatos #sketch #2024 art #rissaito

[reineydraws]

i dont have a caption for you lol i'll let shanks's heart eyes speak for themselves 🫶

(source)

#mishanks #akataka #dracule mihawk #hawkeyes mihawk #shanks #akagami no shanks #red haired shanks #one piece #one piece fanart #incorrect one piece quotes #op fanart #i have accidentally signed up for too much to draw as lesurely as i have been lol soz 🙏 #but i noticed my blog got taken off the mishanks tag's top blog list which clearly means i havent posted enough abt them recently LOL #comic #op comic #shanks: no u dont understand. he only calls me by my first name when he's feeling soft and he would never let anyone else touch his face #especially like that from behind! and first thing in the morning? anyone else would find themselves without a hand. #i call my angel all these lovely pet names and in return he lowers all his walls and i love him 🥰🥰🥰 #(mihawk on the side is feeling extremely exposed lol) #(but also fond 🥰 he loves him back so much too!!!)

[inkiedraws]

"LOL this flip-flop wearing loser thinks he's gonna kick my ass and destroy my whole kingdom in the span of an afternoon. What an idiot"

I didn't intend for this to be a full comic, which is why it just kinda ends. Sowwy

#one piece #monkey d luffy #donquixote doflamingo #trafalgar law #i've been too nice to dofy so im gonna draw him suffering #dofy feels insulted and takes out his annoyance on the ptsd victim #also really loving trebol being the manipulator and then being like “hey this kid is alright!” then becoming the manipulated himself #him turning into a weird enabling father figure without ever intending to is great #but oda intentionally made him so gross an unappealing bc HE KNOWS he can get away with it bc the story is so good #and i hate him for it #anyway dressrosa's a good arc

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[ditzybat]

bernard: i just love true crime, don't you?

tim, trying to impress him: i may or may not be a war criminal with a hypothetical body count in the triple digits who's trained under multiple trained assassins as their apprentice

bernard: ???

#hypothetical because no one addresses the fact that blowing up all those LoA bases meant blowing up all those people inside too #tim: i'm non-lethal by choice don't worry #bernard: i love you but that doesn't sound like non-lethal babe #dc #tim drake #bernard dowd #timbern #robin #red robin #league of assassins

[munchboxart]

So I've been doing this thing for months where I just start grabbing one of my plushies to have as tummy support to prevent me from leaning too far forward towards my screen (the plush pushes me back as it's against the desk).

Maybe not good advice but for now it's better than me leaning all the way forward like a dog

#btw get a rlly hard/stuffed plush. ones that r too soft dont work and can practically feel the desk. its uncomfy #i got my sharkitty plush today. its smaller than i thought but its better than my octo plush that i have #the marshmallow looking ones. the splat 3 variant #im considering buying a large bear plush bc i love those + might be better #(i have one but i want another one) #etc

[toast-the-unknowing]

Had a debate with a friend and now I gotta know

please reblog for larger sample size, my friend bet me no one would say Gimli and I wanna prove her wrong

#she also bet me no one would say Gandalf. and to be clear I would love to prove her wrong on that too. but Gimli feels much more achievable #lord of the rings #lotr #polls

[cassandragemini]

its so crazy that for the last 5 years a small but annoyingly vocal online group has been acting like mob movies of all things are pretentious and inaccessible cinema. yeah the godfather is kinda slow but these are movies about criminals who shoot people

#that family guy bit is right it does insist upon itself but it has a valid point to insist etc etc #crow.txt #side note if you do wanna watch a good mob flick and the godfather was a bit too slow for you please watch goodfellas #its one of my favorite films of all time i love it so much #while i do like the godfather and i recognize how important it was for film history i like goodfellas a bit more