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machiavellli · 24 days

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In the HEAT of the moment

Pairing: Cal Kestis x chiss!jedi!reader

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: reader is in heat, unholy use of the force, slightly angst dynamic (we are a bit bratty), 0ral f&m receiving, p in v, dom!cal(?)/switch (accusingly), p0rn w/o plot (not really?), no use of y/n

Summary: Terribly h0rny on a ship with an attractive redhead, what could possibly happen?

MDNI!

Author’s note: it all started that I wanted to write an old classical sex pollen! fic, but then I remembered how a lot of people (myself included) headcanon chiss people to have a mating cycle and I thought it could be an interesting alternative. Also the only thing you really have to know about chiss people is that they are generally speaking slightly cold people, they have blue skin (NOT MENTIONED) and red eyes (which glows when they feel strong emotions). Reader is depicted as a force user, but this honestly only serves the purpose to make it even more filthy.

Sorry for the BAD DESCRIPTION of the Mantis, do you really care though? Also BD is safe and sound from any inappropriate view🤌

English isn’t my first language

I watched the red-haired figure beside me trying to land the ship as fast as he could, fear painted all over his face, anxiousness filling his chest. If only he could know what was actually wrong with me.

I was spread out on the co-pilot seat, breathing heavily, clothes increasingly damp from the sweat that was now clearly crowning my face. I was trying to concentrate exclusively on my force signature, or rather I was desperately trying to keep it closed. I just had to wait for the wave to pass, for this embarrassment to end.

I hated the fact that it happened in front of him, I usually was able to handle it myself. I wanted to shout at him to leave, I wanted to maintain my usual cold character, he had never seen this vulnerability in me before and he was scared.

He was probably thinking a fever had come over me, he couldn't possibly know how my biology worked and he couldn't, shouldn't know, that I was developing a soft spot for him.

It was so hard to be this close yet so far from his touch. If I had spoken I would have lost all control over my signature and he would have been able to sense my heat expanding. How the heat ran more and more in my blood until I felt my eyes burning. If only he could know.

I remained contorted in the chair, trying to tighten all my limbs, trying to make myself smaller and smaller, to repress this uncontrollable situation. My head was back, eyes half closed, I couldn't look at him, even though the image of him, those damn red hair, was now imprinted on my retina. Every time I tried to open my eyes even slightly, he would turn his worried gaze in my direction. My glowing red eyes left me no opportunity to escape his peripheral vision.

I closed my eyes definitively, trying to cling to the little concentration I had left. I could feel Cal landing the ship, this is absolutely useless, I kept thinking. BD scanned me, «I know her temperature and pulse are high, I can see it» he replied with a frustrated tone to the droid, he didn’t like at all this unusual situation.

My eyes were still completely shut, not even for the love of the Maker I was going to open them, especially now that I could hear him rising from his piloting seat.

«You have to tell me something though, what the hell is happening to you, you were fine thirty minutes ago» he was now hovering over my face, and I could feel his warm breath as he spoke.

His hand reached out for my face, but I quickly sent him away, dismissing it with my arm, still, the brief touch made me tremble from the inside. And he noticed it.

You aren’t getting any information out of me, I would explode before letting you know anything, I thought.

He loudly snorted, starting to grow frustrated by his anxious state and my attitude.

«Listen, you got to tell me something. Why can’t I access your signature? You never blocked it. Let me read you» he then gripped with decision at both of the sides of my now completely sweaty head and made me face him.

I had to bite so hard my lips to hide the moan that almost made it out, to the point where I tasted my own boiling blood.

Focus, focus, focus. For the love of the Maker and for my dignity.

I tried to remove myself from his cautious touch, but his callous hands gripped harder, keeping me firm in my place. I then opened my eyes, the light of the cockpit invading my sight, making my eyes water from the discomfort, but I kept my burning gaze on him. Hopefully, even if a tear started to descend, he would recognise my furious gaze, which I had unfairly dedicated him numerous times, on missions, but also in everyday activities. I was just trying to keep my distance for all of those months, but all the crafting I did on my persona was breaking just in front of his eyes. If only he knew.

«I just want to help you. Let me help you. I know that you hate being helped, especially by me, but I need you alive and healthy kriff» he sighed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, but I kept my gaze fixed on him, breathing even more heavily. It felt like oxygen wasn’t enough. Because it wasn't, as I resignedly knew; and I knew I was going to need his help if he didn't get out of here in mere seconds.

«Since I don’t know what’s the matter with you, I’m sorry, but I have to try to access your mind. You look like something is giving you a panic attack» how ironic.

If only he knew.

After that sentence, I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold the game, the control I had over my force signature was feeble, so it took me all my strength to do it, but I kicked him as hard as I could in the stomach, desperately trying to send him away. The kick ended up being much more delicate than I had in mind, it didn’t even hurt him, but it still made him step back a little and remove his delicious hands from my skull. I tried to catch the opportunity to leave the cockpit, but as I tried to stand up, my bloody wobbly limbs made me crash on the floor, my head hitting the seat just above and failing forward.

I hissed in pain, desperate, needy and desolate for the scene that Cal had to endure. I was barely lifted from the floor with my elbows, I lifted up my gaze towards his direction. Hairs sticking to my forehead and breath still as heavy as an imperial cruiser.

«Let me help you. You are a mess» he slowly walked next to me, lowering his broad figure to my level. Flashes came back in mind from all the times I had the upper hand over him, in our training sessions or missions. I was so good at hiding everything, until I wasn't.

«Y-you need…t-to stay away from me» I whispered and it made him widen his eyes from the surprise that I could speak. Words as light as air destined to fall into the sea of uselessness as quickly as lead. And with that, the unstable hold I had on my signature fell.

«I can’t leave you here, don’t be rid-» he started saying by lifting me from my arms. And with that, he knew. Now he knew.

Moments that felt eternal passed as I held again my gaze, now completely stripped of any decency. Kriff, if he knew.

I couldn’t reach for his signature, I simply lacked the strength to do so, but I was sure that he was scanning my interior from top to bottom, I could sense him everywhere in me. It was so good, I imagine the real touch, how good that must feel.

«Go away.» I replied, closing my tired eyes once more, letting my head fall forward, hiding hopelessly my bare mind.

«But I thought that I felt so good…» he said meanwhile rising my head once more, lifting my chin with one of his damn hands. And a light moan escaped my lips.

My mind went blank there, eyes fixed on him as I would be staring into the void itself and my mouth opened from the shock, revealing the now dried blood painted on my lips. I felt the agonising tears and the sweat mixing over my face, this was purely mortifying.

One thing was being shamed without addressing it and one thing was whatever was going on here. But as much as I felt shamed, I felt this growing heat rising once again in me: it felt good.

And it certainly didn’t help when he started to gently brush away the dried blood from my lips with his thumb. I was just glad his eyes were fixed on them and not my eyes, you know, for the sake of my decency.

«All of this…all of this for what?» He chuckled lightly, readjusting his gaze on me, making our eyes entangled again «For hiding from me? The only one ashamed is you, wilful as always».

«Leave the matter to me, I-I will handle-»

«You don’t get to handle a thing. Be a good girl and let me help you or your rut won’t pass» he voiced firmly.

This time, my eyes widened in surprise and the little nickname made my body flinch.

«Tell me you want my help and you will be served.»

For a moment, I breathed heavily again, focusing entirely on reaching for his signature: he was being honest. That’s all I needed. I needed him and he knew. He knew it all.

«Help me, n-need you»

Without any other dancing around, he lifted me easily, closing the cockpit door of the Mantis behind him, and locking up BD. My head instinctively went back, just for him to catch it with his large hand. I wanted any clothes off.

Once we reached for the table, he delicately leaned me against its surface, ice against my warm skin. He climbed over me with his broad figure, feeling his own arousal growing. He waited for this for so long. And I did not know.

Our lips, now, mere inches away. I was hot, but kriff, I could feel his heartbeat also running. Our breaths mixed over our faces and for cutting short all the theatrical tragedy, I simply lifted one of my hands to cup his face, making him come instinctively closer. Now as my lips danced on his, I knew it was over.

I was burning, to the point where the heat gave me back my strength and I started holding onto his hair with both of my sweaty desperate hands, making a moan escape from him. He felt like a sweet fresh relief from my pain, but Force, if I need more than that. Our hips then started to stroke against each other, searching for the real relief.

It felt like we were eating off each other’s faces, sloppy kisses filled with burning passion, mixing with the sweat and blood, nothing too different from our condition on a battlefield wryly.

Then, he started travelling down to my neck and moans finally freely left my mouth, as I felt the ginger growing harder on my thighs.

«You are so warm, so good» he muttered half moaning into my neck as his hands started working on my tunic, but he stopped for a moment and looked at me with those pretty green eyes: «Can I?».

«Hurry.» was my response.

And he hurried. Basically ripping my damp tunic away, and without losing a second he was on my breast, skilfully sucking one as he played the nipple of the other with his callous hand.

«So soft, can’t believe I had to wait this long» he whispered as his voice grew hoarse with desire.

«More Cal» I whined softly, now completely blinded by lust.

And my wish was his command.

He navigated down, in the direction of my wetness, leaving a trail of careless kisses behind. His hands, which felt frigid, given my temperature, followed him as he went down, gripping firmly my waist, and making my eyes roll. Hence, he held me still with one large hand flat over my lower stomach, pressing lightly, as the other worked to remove my trousers. At last, I was bare before him, a desire I hid for long.

«It took you a heat wave, almost a heart attack, for letting me touch you. So obstinate to prove yourself, when you were already perfect in front of me» he breathed while he lowered himself, as my thighs were being spread upon his face.

As my legs parted, I felt my indecent drench slide down, feeling exposed and turned on like never before.

«You are going to be my four-course meal» he mumble, taking a look at my condition and smirking, before starting to rub over my sensitive clit, as his breath kept teasing me.

I was in no condition to speak, my mind was already far too gone, and filthy sounds were the only thing coming out of me. And Force, the sight would have killed any Jedi master back at the temple. Too bad.

Once he considered it enough, he closed the gap between my heat and his lips, starting to suckle intensely, holding me open for him, feeling every one of his digits pressing into my flesh. The touch felt electric, combined with his force signature overwhelming me inside. I wanted him, may this be the last thing I ever do.

And he damn knew.

«For someone so bitter, you taste so sweet» A low groan escaped from him as he gripped greatly at my inner thighs, parting my lips even more, whilst I held on the table for my damn life, trying to steady myself as my body trembled beneath him.

His lips, the swirling of his tongue over my swollen bud, the slightly cool sensation from his lower temperature and the air around us, were driving me wild. I was getting close and instinctively I tried to force my legs closed, but I was immediately shut by his powerful hands, keeping me more open and vulnerable than ever.

«Don’t try. Let me have what is mine» he hissed while flipping me over to my stomach.

My face and chest made contact with the cold surface, as I felt my hips being lifted and dragged at the edge of the table. His cool grip, air, surface and exposure made my walls clench. The sight of my bare ass made his cock, still hidden beneath all his clothes, twitch in anticipation. He nudged over my warm soft flesh, admiring my curves, gripping it with force and giving it a loud slap.

«Don’t you think you were bratty enough? It feels so good to have the upper hand, no wonder you like it some much»

He was enjoying this almost as much as me, the only difference being that I was utterly submitted to my own desire, my rut, desperately trying to get me filled with his seed.

He lowered once more his gaze to my warm, opening my lips with his rough thumbs, as my wetness fell on the table’s surface. His mouth captured my clit once more, making me tremble from the newly acquired angle, but his hands were quickly on my sides, supporting my weight.

We kept filling the room with my indecent moans and his low groans as he ate me out like a starved man, till the point where I reached my peak, surrendering to the overwhelming sensation coursing through my body. Oh Force, oh stars. Why did I wait so long for him?

Instinctively, I let my hips fall on the table and Cal followed me, resting his head on my lower back, giving it a soft kiss. We were both breathless, but we were both far from being over with this.

We both knew.

My heat returned after mere seconds, making me whine. I flipped myself over as Cal lifted himself from me, gripping one of my ankles to drag me closer to him.

«Undress. Come over to the table. Quick.» I commanded and so he did as I said.

Rapidly he removed his own clothes and I got to stare at his toned pale body, covered in delicious freckles and reddish hairs travelling all the way down to his throbbing member. What a show.

He climbed for the second time that day over my figure and when he got to the level of my face, I decided that before anything else, I would have to taste him, my thoughts driven by my burning lust. I took him from his shoulders, switching our positions, causing his head to collide with the table and blocking him with my thighs, my wetness now pooling on his lower stomach, just above his crotch.

«My turn, you had your fun Kestis»

Whiteout giving him the time to protest, I descended over his body, leaving a trace of warm bites from his neck till the lowest part of his abandonment, making him squirm at every touch. I felt like my blood was boiling even more, raising my temperature once again.

I softly bit the flushed skin of his cock, before opening my watery mouth and taking as much as I could from his size. My boiling mouth, working in sinuous movements around his member, made him let out a low groan, overwhelmed by the sensation.

«If o-only I could’ve shut you up before like this, mhm. So pretty. So good.» he stated bringing his hands over his face moaning, lifting his hips up a little, causing me to pleasantly choke on him.

Hence, he moved one of his hands on my head, encouraging me to go deep, to move faster, increasing his excitement. From now on, I wouldn’t have ever again protested to remain silent.

Then, he lifted my head from him, a hand taking me from my chin, cleaning once more my lips, but not from blood this time.

«Nobody here wants me to come in your mouth, let’s be honest» he asserted and it was almost as if my rut snapped me out of my state, remembering what I truly want and need.

All I wanted was being filled, till I couldn’t take it anymore, filling me with pleasure and relief from the unbearable heat that has been consuming my body.

«Please» I pleaded softly, biting my lower lip between my teeth, desperation adorning my words.

Cal lifted me from my stance, sitting up and swinging my legs around his lap, my core just in front of his.

«You are beautiful, you have always been amazing, even if I thought you hated me» he spoke softly, caressing with one hand my face, removing some of the hairs sticking over it, whilst, with the other one, he held my waist firmly.

«I am sorry, I was just trying to be professional» I confessed lowering my gaze. The sounds of our heartbeats were the only thing I could hear as our force signatures started to entangle.

«You were more annoying than professional» he chuckled, «And professional for who? Do I look professional? C’mon.»

«Mhm…annoying…just because I kept beating your ass Kestis»

I took his chin with one of my hands, as the other gripped at the nape of his neck, his Adam’s apple rising as I bit again into his neck, making him breathe heavily.

«So annoying…» he moaned, «Tell me what you need to make you feel better, I would do anything for you»

Our signatures overflowing into each other, make me see the stars and the kriffing galaxy, I said in his mind. He thankfully knew.

Without another thought, he laid my back again on the surface, as he towered over me.

Breathe in, breathe out.

His fierce mouth was on mine, filthy kissing me, catching restlessly my swollen lips and whimpering while doing so. His hand adorned my curves, clasping at the softness of my hips, gently moving one leg up, aligning himself at my entrance.

Locking our eyes, sharing one last breath, before his length entered me.

Instinctively, I rolled my eyes back as his thick member filled me completely. He was everywhere inside of me, his pleasure was mine and mine was his. The Force could reserve such unholy uses.

«See? Good girls get stretch real good» he muttered in a groan of pleasure.

The carnal desire was burning more now than ever.

As he moved inside of me, I arched my back and let out soft moans, whilst he was holding me tightly, growling at the nape of my neck. I clenched my walls around him as he hit every sweet spot just right. Every deep trust emanated a lustful indecent sound, skin against skin, clapping together, coiled by sweat and desire.

He was filling me divinely, but I needed it raw. Animalistic. As my rut intended.

But, without words, he knew that.

Cal flipped me over, grabbing onto my waist from behind, as he impaled himself without warning in one trust. His powerful thrusts sent shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through my entire being, and I felt the intensity of his emotions radiating through every cell in my body as he poured into me relentlessly. One of his hands reached for my neck, bringing him even more inside of me.

As our hearts synchronised, the combination of the raw act and our force signature fuelled his movements. the connection deepening with each powerful stroke.

Every noise, every sound of pleasure, filled the room, intoxicating our actions even more, the sound of our skin colliding acted as a frame, in this almost dazzling lust.

We both become lost in the heat of the moment, Cal blinded by my rut that I shared with him in the force.

His cock throbbed with excitement, eager to release its energy deep within my welcoming embrace. The redhead filled me up completely with his solid, pulsating presence. The sensation was invigorating, propelling both of us closer to the brink of euphoria.

«Close» I mumbled with the little strength left in me.

His muscles tensed, as I tightened around him, feeling my pleasure intensify as Cal’s arousal reached its peak.

With his last powerful strokes and the connection we shared in that moment, I saw the stars and the galaxy, feeling our bodies intensely tremble at the reach of our high, whilst gasping loudly.

He painted my inside white with his warm liquid, turning my body temperature back to normal.

Breathless, he fell onto my back, his nose brushed deliberately over my ear, with his member still inside of me.

Restored our normal heartbeats, he lifted the both of us from the table, guiding us to the sofa, where I sat on his lap, brushing some of his hair away as he did the same with me.

«I had no idea chiss had a mating cycle»

«Nobody knows, it’s embarrassing»

«It was fun in my opinion baby» he confessed before giving me a small caste kiss. The action, made me flush and smile unintentionally, which produced a soft laugh from the redhead.

«Fellow associate» I replied, hiding the smile.

«Don’t start again ple-»

«The cycle lasts a week» I said, cutting him off by placing one finger over his own swollen lips.

His eyes widened and a smile formed upon his face as I pressed my forehead on his, smiling, without control this time.

There was nothing he didn’t know now.

Lovely gifs from @vindicia !!

Beautiful dividers from @cafekitsune !!

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My request are open, just know that I’m slow✨

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breakfastteatime · 9 months

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Today's fic is for @wigglewigglewigglenot who requested 'Family'.

Greez hears Cal bound aboard, BD whistling in the way that Greez always translates to ‘honey, I’m home!’ “Cal, BD, good timing. I’m about to start chopping up the veg for tonight’s stir fry. Wash up and –” A foul stench billows over Greez. Dropping his knife, he looks up from the galley table and stares at Cal. “What in all the hells happened to you?”

Cal grins from under a thick, muddy coating. “I threw some stormtroopers around for a while in a swamp.”

“Did you get in the swamp with them?”

“No,” Cal says. BD makes a sound that sounds very disagreeable. Cal stares at his friend. “No, I didn’t. It doesn’t count if a whole bunch of grenades explode after they’ve sunk into the mud and shower you with swamp juice.”

“Whatever, Cal, just get in the shower, burn everything you’re wearing and clean up so you can help out.” Greez glances at BD. “You too, BD.”

BD whistles and takes off. Cal sighs and follows him. A few moments later, Greez hears the ‘fresher door open and close, followed by the sound of the water shower starting up.

Cere emerges from the cockpit next, stretching out her limbs after hours of decrypting Imperial transmissions and tangling them all up so no one could talk to each other. She catches a whiff of ‘Odour of Kestis’ and immediately joins Greez in the galley, seeking out one of their emergency candles. “His sense of smell must be impaired after all that time on Bracca,” she mutters. Once the candle’s lit, she glances at what Greez is doing. “Stir fry? Excellent. Can I do anything?”

“Sure. You can get the hell out of my kitchen before something explodes because it’s in your presence and you scared it.”

“I am not that bad!” Cere protests.

“Hah!” Greez doesn’t trust Cere in a kitchen with something more complicated than a teapot or a caf maker any more than he trusts himself with Cal’s lightsaber. “Just go sit in the lounge and think happy food thoughts.”

“I think I’ll take the time to meditate,” Cere says, heading for her cabin. “I’ll send Merrin.”

By the time Merrin appears, Greez has the vegetables chopped, the pan heated, and everything ready to fry. “You are not adding scazz?” Merrin asks, peering over Greez’s shoulder.

“I know you like it, but scazz doesn’t actually go with everything, Merrin,” Greez says. No, what he needs is a few spices, a little extra soy for the noodles, some ginger to add a kick…

“I want scazz,” Merrin said. “I shall prepare it myself.”

Greez knows he’s not going to win a fight with her. “Fine. There’s some in the fridge. Make sure you use the knife with the red handle, that’s the one that’s sharp enough. You can cook it up yourself.”

“Why? You do it so much better than I do,” Merrin says as she gets the meat, knife and chopping block.

“You’ll never learn if I always do it,” Greez tells her.

Merrin stares at him.

“Fine, fine, I’ll cook it. Make enough for everyone.” Greez says that, knowing full well only Merrin will have any unless Cal’s feeling particularly irritating tonight.

The rhythmic sound of Merrin’s chopping provides the beat for Greez’s whistling. He drops the noodles in a pan while prepping another for Merrin’s meat. She carries it over on the chopping board when she’s done and waits for Greez’s nod to add it to the pan. It crackles and hisses. Merrin closes her eyes and inhales.

“Excellent,” she says. “Remember, I like it rare.”

“It’ll still be bleeding, don’t you worry,” Greez says.

Content, Merrin heads to the lounge. Greez lets her go because he hears Cal and BD returning. Both are clean and fresh, so Greez orders them to set the table. “With your hands, please,” he adds. “The last time you used the Force to do it, I lost a perfectly good set of plates.”

“How is it my fault Merrin distracted me?” Cal shoots a glare in her direction.

“Jedi training is clearly inferior,” she replies without looking up from the datapad she’s looking at. “A Nightsister would not be so distractable.”

“Wanna find out?” Cal fires back.

“Children,” Greez warns.

Cal sighs and wipes down the table while BD nudges placemats around with his head. Happy that Cal isn’t about to push and/or pull anything, Greez begins dishing up. He puts the scazz chunks in a serving bowl so at least the others can pretend like they want some. Cal dutifully puts the bowls out, chuckling to himself when he picks up Cere’s. He does that sometimes, catches onto things no one expected to leave behind. If he’s not sharing, Greez ain’t asking. He's learned to temper that curiosity. Cal is very polite about accidentally learning people’s secrets. Unless it benefits him some way. Or if the secret is so hilarious, he can’t contain himself. Greez may never live down that whole ‘Phixy’s Midnight Runner’s debacle down.

“Merrin, would you tell Cere it’s dinner time?” Greez asks as he shuts off the hobs and grabs the muja juice out of the fridge.

“Of course.” Merrin disappears in a twirl of green magick.

“Show off,” Greez mutters.

BD and Cal take their usual places. Merrin and Cere appear moments later. Greez takes his seat.

“This looks so good,” Cal says. “Thanks, Greez.”

“You’re welcome,” he says. It’s the least he can do, keeping everyone fed. He reaches for his fork. “Enjoy everyone.”

They all dig in, BD-1 watching with the same amount of interest the very first time he was allowed to sit at the table. Greez sits back and watches them all, smiling as they chat and laugh.

Yeah, he’s a lucky guy. Maybe he hasn’t settled down the way his great grandma would’ve wanted, but he’s still got people who matter more than anything, people who need him… He just never expected his best friend and his two kids to all have superpowers, or for a little droid to become an essential presence in his life.

Greez knows a good hand when he’s holding it.

(Pssst – The Phixy’s Midnight Runners minific for those who may have missed it. It’s an oldie but a favourite of mine)

#fic requests 2023 #star wars jedi: fallen order #jfo minific #jfo headcanon #the mantis crew #*found family feels intensify*#cal kestis #bd 1 #greez dritus #cere junda #merrin

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fading-adhd-hyperfixator · 4 months

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TW.

This might become a chapter series~

THIS FANFICTION IS A XMAS GIFT FOR @calcium-cat!!! <3 IT TAKES PLACE BEFORE CHAPTER 21.

Major tw for drowning, blood, and trauma!

Plot based off of @orbital-inclination's Molten Dream oneshot and @calcium-cat's One Small Dream AU, plus her oneshot Shattered Dreams 1 and 2 on Ao3!

Please take this angst, Cal. This is only the first chapter, of course. Suffer as you made us feel with chapter 21 and 22~

Some things that should never have been said chapter 1 - the accident (Word count over 2000!)

Dream sat in his room, in front of the ripped up (and, now that he truly looked at it, it was bad, awful, just as horrible as-) drawing on the floor.

The ripped drawing, torn straight in half, showed him and Nighty. Well, Nighty before this. They were in front of the tree, the scribbled sun shining brightly. They had been holding hands before Dream ripped it.

Dream felt.. numb. Sad, angry, but he didn't want to alert Nightmare with his feelings, so he pushed them far, far down.

He didn't want to be here anymore.

He crumbled the pieces of the drawing, put on his cape, and waited.

He waited until he knew no one would be awake anymore. He had decided to break Nightmare's rules, to leave, to find a way out of this 'AU', they called it. (Dream still didn't understand the concept of 'alternate universes', he was still only just a child.)

He opened his door, hearing the almost silent creeak as it slid. Dream began to walk towards where he had escaped before, his footsteps falling silently on the stone below, as he began to let free some of that sadness by silently sobbing. His head ached. He wanted to get out now.. before someone caught him. As Dream wriggled through the window, he began to feel better. (Although the feelings he buried deep down threatened to stir, as he thought subconsciously what Nightmare would think.)

He began to run after a bit, his shoes making the leaves and sticks underneath crackle and snap. He had gotten far enough away that no one would hear him. He wasn't sure if that would be a bad thing or not.

(Of course, how would he know? He was purposefully trying to do this. He didn't want anyone to hear.)

~~~

"Dream, listen to me! Please-!"

"I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF, NIGHTY!! I DON'T NEED YOU!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!"

His face fell, as Dream backed away before running away, far away. He began to lightly sob, as he processed this. His fingers gripped the soft grass below, as he-

..soft grass?.. The only grass around his castle was thick and piercing. This wasn't right. He glanced up. The Tree of Feelings.. and the village? He was confused, looking at himself. Purple clothing with gold accents. He gripped his forehead. A crown, with a moon engraving..?

This.. was not right. He needed to wake up.

And, as he felt the sharp, agonizing pierce of negativity in his soul..

..his eyelight opened. Nightmare sat up quickly, panicking at how sour and wrong this felt. He had never felt something like this before, not here. This was almost like a cry for help. This.. this was very, very wrong.

He pulled off the covers, silently slipping out and checking each room. All of them were normal.

..except for Dream's. Dream was gone. He was gone? This wasn't right, although Nightmare had very much established that before. This feeling was coming from somewhere else. Maybe he had left? But he knew the rules.Nightmare quivered, his negative goop dripping onto the stone floor as he pondered it.

...Maybe.. maybe he was still bitter from the fight. Maybe he didn't want to be with Nightmare and the others anymore. (Which, Nightmare would never admit this, but that possibility scared him more than death.)

He ran out into the (sickly) empty forest. So much fear filled him, he thought he would explode, as Nightmare ran through the forest, getting closer to the feeling..

He heard the rushing of the river. The river shouldn't be rushing right now. It was the middle of winter, for star's sake! Then it hit Nightmare that Dream could be inside the river. Inside.. those rapids.. the rushing water..-! He needed to find Dream. Now.

~~~

Dream couldn't see. He didn't know what had happened. Everything was cold, he had to hold his breath-

He had slipped, taken a few tumbles, and… fallen. Fallen into.. a stream? A river, perhaps? Dream couldn't tell. All he knew was that he needed to swim up. But which way was up? For all Dream knew, he could be upside down. He hit the bottom of the lake, crashing into a rock. Dream opened his mouth to cry out-

And water- horrible, bitter tasting, dirty water rushed into his lungs, his mouth-His lungs screamed for air, (metaphorically, skellies don't have lungs I'm just stupid) his eyesockets opened, and he spotted a light. The surface.

And then that light dimmed out. Dream was still conscious, he hadn't closed his eyes.. but what was blocking his vision..?

All he knew is that he was quickly thrusted out of the stream, coughing and choking out river water and bile onto the sandy shore below.

His vision began to fade as Dream collapsed, exhausted and scared. He didn't want this.. what was going on..?

~~~

Nightmare lifted Dream out of the rushing river just before he went out of sight, setting him gently on the shore as panic filled his soul, his entire being. “DREAM!!”

As Dream fell, he was lifted gently with a tentacle and taken into Nightmare's arms, as Nightmare hyperventilated a little. Sure, sure they were immortal to old age or any natural causes.

But murder or something like this could still kill them.

Nightmare frantically pulled out his phone, and sent a single text.

'River. Now. Bring monster candy and run.'

And he waited, holding Dream's shivering, small figure. Dream's soul was filled with fear.. and some incomprehensible emotion.. perhaps hatred? He looked down at the puddle Dream had choked out. How long had he been in that stream before Nightmare came? How long had he suffered?

Dream's HP was.. scarily low. Nightmare couldn't exactly heal it due to how terrified he was, but he could at least look for the wound.

There.

Nightmare lifted up Dream's wet shirt and stared at the fracture that ran through the back of Dream's ribcage and spine.

That.. that was bad.

Where were his boys?..Had they not woken to the text?Maybe he should call.Yeah, maybe that was it.

But as Nightmare stared at the bloody crack, he couldn't

move

a single

bone.

He couldn't even process how dull and cracked Dream's tiny soul looked. He didn't process Dream's health

slowly

depleting

to 1.

And, when he did, he still couldn't move. Nightmare stared at Dream's small, shaking body as panic set in, quicker and heavier than before.

“DREAM!! WAKE UP!!”

Where were his boys when he needed them?! He sent another frantic text, before calling Horror.

It took a moment, but eventually the phone was answered. “mmm.. boss?.. it's 3 in.. the morning..” Nightmare couldn't help but feel a twinge of humor at how ridiculously tired Horror sounded.

“You didn't get my text?..” Nightmare mumbled into the microphone in such a blank, sorrowful tone that disgusted him. He was the Guardian of Negativity, and he was upset. But, then again, he was upset over Dream.

“..I'm looking right now. You sound upset enough, I know it's probably important. .. I'll be there with Cross, Killer and Dust in a moment. Whatever it is, please be safe, boss.”

The phone clicked, as Nightmare realized the kindness in Horror’s tone.

And Nightmare sat there, holding Dream as he focused everything on making sure Dream didn't lose the last of his HP.

~~~

Horror pondered things while he dressed and woke the others. He went into the kitchen to wait.

Nightmare had sounded so sad..

He took a few bites of the leftover food that Killer had set out, before wondering why Dream hadn't come outside during all the chaos.

Probably just asleep.

It was too early for him, after all. He'd never get to sleep if he was up at this ungodly hour. He didn’t even know why Nightmare needed everyone, and he said he needed monster candy..?

All Horror knew is that none of his (brothers) co-workers were missing. It worried him.

Perhaps just a peek into Dream's room..

He started toward the cracked door, footsteps growing slowly faster when it seemed like he would never get there.He opened the door quietly, the whine of the squeaky hinges causing Horror to wince before looking inside.

Pieces of ripped paper and broken crayons on the floor. His Nightmare doll on the ground, like he had thrown it into the wall. Cape missing. Pajamas on the floor. Shoes missing. Bedsheets torn aside and strewn around the room.

Horror.. was now feeling his namesake, as he yelled at the others to hurry up. He ran as fast as he could to the medicine cabinet, grabbing every single monster candy they had and a few bandages, stuffing them inside his coat pocket.

He began to dash back out, before running into Cross. He almost knocked the oreo-looking skeleton over, quickly apologizing before trying to run again.

He felt a light pressure on his arm, and turned to Cross.“..You're never this upset, big guy. Tell me what's wrong, and take a deep breath, okay?..”

Horror felt a little relief, and sighed, explaining how broken Nightmare had sounded on the call....

and the fact that Dream's room was a mess, the small space no longer holding the small positivity guardian. Cross went silent at that, eye lights searching Horror’s face, concern and mild fear in them.“..Killer, Dust, hurry up. This could be something related to Dream. He's not in his room.”

Killer and Dust immediately picked up their pace, albeit not very much. Horror grimaced. “..I've got the candies. Grab some bandages and meet me out there.” Despite knowing he already had a few, he knew that he needed to prepare.

He ran out the door, eventually hearing the river rushing...

..and Nightmare yelling Dream's name. Oh, dear stars, his fears were true and Dream was hurt, he was hurt, Horror had a right to worry and maybe he would never even see that little smile ever again and yes that struck him harder than any blow he'd ever taken even from Undyne-

“HORROR! HERE, QUICK!!” Nightmare's dread filled voice cut Horror out of his panic attack as he ran over to look at Dream. Upon seeing how soaked, and shivering and cold the poor thing looked, he texted Killer ‘bring a towel.’

“Boss, tell me, is he hurt, how low is his HP, and how long has he been like this?!”

Nightmare took a deep breath before responding.

“He's got a severe fracture on his ribs and spine, I've been keeping him from dusting, he's at 1, and..”

Nightmare trailed off. Horror caught from the guilt on Nightmare's face, that Nightmare had not been here when Dream had fallen in. “..I brought bandages.” Horror mumbled before gently lifting the small bittybones’ shirt and taking a better look at the broken bones.

Oh.

Oh stars.

Oh stars oh stars oh stars oh stars-

“..Horror?..”

Dream was really hurt this bad? This could've killed him, he should've come sooner-“

..Horror, you're pulling at your socket, you're spacing out.”

And all that guilt came crashing down on Horror as he stared, filled with his namesake, at the bloody fracture.

“-Horror!”

He blinked as Nightmare waved his hand in front of Horror's face. He gently removed his fingers from the side of his face, feeling the sore pain of his soft eyesocket. “..We need to focus on Dream right now.”

Horror sighed and began to carefully wrap the bandages around the tiny bones, minding when Dream let out a water-filled pained cry through his unconsciousness, muffled through Nightmare's hoodie.

He turned Dream onto his back, popping a candy in his mouth before leaning back and attempting to take a deep breath.

That failed.

As did the next attempt.

He spaced out on the dark, cloudy sky, beginning to hyperventilate. He pulled his skull down in between his knees, barely holding back tears.

He stayed like that.

Maybe Horror believed that it was too late.

~~~

Horror still layed, spaced out in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

Killer, Dust, and Cross had arrived, and they had gotten Dream back to the castle. All Horror could see was that frail, injured, tiny, shaking, cold, wet body. Did what he feel count as feeling traumatized?

He didn't register the hand waving in front of his face.

He, of course, didn't register the voice saying his name.

Until it got louder, of course.

That hurt his already aching skull, as he went to groan and hold his head, he felt cold tears.

Had he been crying?

He hadn't noticed..

His senses slowly flooded back, and he registered Killer's half-gloved hand waving in front of his eyesockets.He turned his head, to see.. Killer was worried? He didn't have enough strength to register what Killer was saying, until it hit a quiet, shaking level of worry.

“..Horror..? ..You okay?.. You're k-kinda scarin’ me..”

He shook his head and everything flooded back.

“Oh.. oh yeah.. yeah, I'm okay.”

Okay or not, he felt an aching feeling pulling down his soul like blue magic. Fear. Doubt. Guilt?

He waved Killer away.

“..You should try to get some more sleep. It's 3:37.”

“Ah- y-yeah- of course-..”

Horror turned to the wall, trying to begin spacing out again.

But he noticed that Killer.. never actually left?

He looked back, seeing Killer hesitate

.“..We’re both worried, Killer. You should go to Nightmare. I think Cross is doing first watch on Dream tonight.”

Killer was silent, as he nodded stiffly and left the room.After a while, Horror's eyesockets shut.He had fallen asleep.

But that nagging guilt still tugged.

~~~

Dream was tired. He could make out that much. He felt the pain. He felt the cold, until someone had wrapped him up. Someone had given him candy.. and bandaged him?His head still ached more than anything. Hadn't they fixed it? Or maybe that was the adrenaline in his soul wearing off.

From all he knew, he had hit the bottom of the river. He had passed out after.. Nightmare saved him? Was it Nighty?

He really didn't know right now..

He wanted Nighty now.

He wanted to hold his goopy tentacle. Dream knew that Nighty was not near. From what little awareness he had, Crossy was with him.

He wanted to wake up.

Yes, that was what Dream wanted!

He needed to get up! And apologize!

After all, it was pretty early.

Or maybe that was just his head aching that convinced him of the time.. it could be the middle of the day for all Dream could know..

Eventually, Crossy swapped for Rory.

He wanted a hug from Rory.

Dream was in pain again.Like when he lost his tooth, but a billion times worse..

Okay, maybe he was overreacting.

Even a child could tell that much.

---

It's mine and a few others' headcanon that Horror pulls on his socket when he's nervous! :3

I accidentally cut off the last few sentences, but I'll pop them into the next chapter <3

merry christmas everybody!!!

#tw drowning #tw blood mention #tw trauma #one small dream #osd #tw child trauma

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kken-kenn · 2 years

Text

# ⎯ 〚 ❝ 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐑 ❞ 〛

𝐫𝐞𝐪. 𝗒𝖾𝗌

𝐭𝐰. 𝗇𝗈𝗇𝖾

𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜. 𝗀𝗇!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝐰𝐜. 𝟦𝟨𝟫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦. 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝖣𝖾𝗑𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝗏𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗍!

❝𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 are you doing? Dexter looks up from his spot on the bench startled by your appearance. “[Name]! Me? I’m not doing anything, I’m just watching the sun set,” Dexter gains his composure again, and rests his chin within the palm of his hand and his expression gives away something you don’t often see on the boy’s face when you’re with him.

You see sadness, and you’ll be damned if Dexter was sad when he’s with you.

Taking a seat next to him you too gaze out into the horizon, beautiful oranges and lovely shades of red cover the skies, “What’s on your mind?” You murmur, trying not to break the cal, atmosphere. “Something,” Is all he replies, turning away from you a little.

“Can I know what this "something” is?“ Leaning over you place your head against Dexter’s shoulder, and he tenses. "I promise I won’t tell,” You continue, while Dexter finally looks at you again, “There’s the handsome face I know and love.”

“Handsome?” Dexter looks at you skeptical, “You are Dexter, and don’t you dare think for one second you aren’t!” You poke at his chest playfully. “Yeah, if I was you would make this something on my mind go away,” Dexter mumbles, voice quiet.

“Dexter, can I tell you something? No — actually can I ask you something?” You sit up, moving back a little so that there is space between the two of you. “Yeah, what is it?” You turn your gaze downward, and mull over just exactly what you want to say before going further with this conversation.

“[Name]?” Dexter scans over your face, and you look back up at him, “Dexter do you like me?” Straight to the point, and Dexter does not like it all. “What?” He cries out shocked, while you just stare at him blankly. “It’s a yes or no question Dexter.”

“I mean — yeah! As a friend — well not really as just a friend — I love you — But then again I don’t love — I mean I do — I just — oh Hex I’m embarrassing myself,” he groans placing his face into his hands but you can see the tips of his ears turn ever so lightly turn a shade of pink.

“Dexter, I like you too.” You grab his hands, removing them from his face, and gaze at him shyly. “You do?” You nod as in yes, while the edges of his lips begin to quirk up and soon he’s smiling bigger than you have ever seen before, “Did Raven tell you?”

He suddenly turns suspicious, after all the rebel had been asking questions all week before he finally broke and confessed he had probably had — no, literally had the biggest crush on you in the world and all he wanted to do was explode with all these feelings whenever he saw you in the halls.

“Does it really matter, Dex?”

“No.”

⎯ 〚 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝟥𝟢.𝟩.𝟤𝟤〛

#ever after high #eah #ever after high x reader #eah x reader #ever after high imagine #eah imagine #ever after high fanfic #eah fanfic #ever after high fic #eah fic #ever after high dexter #eah dexter #ever after high dexter charming #eah dexter charming #dexter #dexter charming #dexter x reader #dexter charming x reader

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leonscape · 7 months

Text

lionheart

his skin crawled as it became clammy to the touch. a big lump grew in his throat and he gagged on his nervousness. he stood beside his parents, the king and queen of rhodolite. his mother had encouraged him to attend the ball they were holding at the palace. but as the guests poured into the room, the pit in his stomach grew. it was not looking good at all. his lunch felt like it was about to bubble to the surface and explode. but he could only stand there, as stiff as a statue with a straight face.

nobody could hear what was going on inside. on the outside, he looked just as cold and uninviting as his father. he wore an intimidating blank stare in the same shade of blue as the king.

a king chevalier isn’t the most inviting. but with a queen emma by his side, people felt safer with her as a sort of buffer between them and the intensity of the king. but the young prince’s presence repelled people away. his blue eyes were stone cold and his jaw was clenched. he was firm and emotionless.

anastasia watched him from across the room. she wasn’t really paying attention to the conversation she was supposed to be a part of. her father was chatting away with the other nobles; she wasn’t contributing anything anyway. she looked over to cal, who was standing next to his father too. at the same moment, cal looked back at her. they just stared at each other. and then cal smiled mischievously. he pointed over to the king and queen.

anastasia gave him the signal: a thumbs up. and cal was on the move. if there’s anyone that was going to make a big commotion, it would be a lelouch.

it wasn’t long before dried rose petals bursted up into the air, nearly scaring all the guests half to death.

clavis looked delighted; he was a proud father.

“lawrence,” anastasia called out to the boy. he forgot to react to the chaos and he was still standing still. she grabbed onto his arm and he almost jumped out of his skin. his concentration broke and with that, the tears sprang a leak. “come on! let’s go!”

lawrence followed her out of the room. the peace and quiet calmed her nerves and allowed him to think clearly. he wiped his eyes, embarrassed. “thanks,” he mumbled.

“you okay?” ana asked.

“yeah,” lawrence sniffled. “did you plan that all for me?”

“yeah kinda. cal would’ve just done it anyway though…” she said. “but i noticed you don’t like doing social events.”

lawrence nodded. “people just don’t like me. and i don’t understand why.”

“i don’t think it’s that. i think they find you a little… unapproachable?” anastasia said. “you should relax a little more and smile.”

“i get so nervous i feel like crying and throwing up.” he sat on the ground with his knees tucked into his chest. “and i don’t want to show them that im weak. i wish i could be strong and brave like you and cal. and like my father too.”

“well i think you’re really brave. you put yourself out there and i think that’s strong and brave,” she reassured.

“i don’t feel like that at all. i’m not lion hearted like you.” he buried his head into his knees. “i just hope i can live up to my father’s standards.”

unbeknownst to lawrence, his father was right around the corner. chevalier didn’t move, he only frowned. instead of approaching the two kids, he walked away without a sound.

tag list (let me know if you’d like to be tagged or untagged): @violettduchess @nightghoul381

#leonscape’s ikemen prince au #ikemen prince #ikepri #ikemen prince fanfiction #ikepri fanfiction

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mignonricciardo · 2 years

Text

august | dr3

chapter two

thank you all for the love <3 here is the long awaited second chapter to august [NOTE: currently unedited, but I really wanted it up]

notes: day three and four (8.1k words)

warnings: cursing, allusions to smut, mentions of grief, lots of emotions, discussion of daniel losing his seat

here is chapter one!

Day 3 of 19

By the time the night settles over the now quiet house, my brain has finally calmed down enough to let me read the manuscript glaring at me from the corner of my dresser. Water droplets smear some of the red ink, and crinkles in the paper appear along periods and commas. I can hear Michael laughing on the phone down the hallway, surely trying to catch up with his girlfriend back in London. A part of me feels guilty for pulling him away from her on his break, but there’s no point in raising it. Michael and I both would do anything for Daniel—someone who was always finding a way to be there for us—even if that meant sacrificing his break to travel halfway across the world to return to the infamous beach house. If this was something Daniel felt he needed, both of us were ready to be here. All it took was a phone call, and my walls were crumbling like clockwork.

Daniel’s room is empty as I pass, the door wide open and lights off. His curtains are pulled open, revealing light from the pool beneath his window. I take another glance down the hall to make sure he isn’t around and Michael is still occupied before heading into the room to peek out of the window. Only one deck light is on over the blue pool, but I can make out Daniel sitting on the cool tile. He’s slouched in on himself, but I think I can see his lips moving. Is he on the phone? I can’t see any earbuds in his ears or his phone in his hands, but his lips continue moving. His hands taps gently on his thigh—he’s singing. I grin to myself as I watch him, tapping his hand on his thigh and slight smile pulling at his lips. I start to head down toward him, leaving his bedroom behind me as I pad quietly down the wooden stairs. As kids, Daniel always loved music and used it to match all of his moods. I’d even caught him once out by this pool after being rejected by one of his pre-teen crushes listening to I Miss You by Blink 182.

“What are you listening to?”

He looks up from his spot on the pool deck, leaving his palm open with his iPod sitting squarely in the center of his hand. He shrugs his shoulders, pulling one of the earbuds from his ear and holding it out to me. I sit next to him on the pool deck, chills erupting across my arms as the sun sets beyond the house, and put the earbud into my ear. I hold back my laugh as the crooning notes of the Blink 182 song come through the wired headphones.

My shoulder bumps his as he doesn’t answer my question, “This about the bonfire?”

“Jack shouldn’t have told you about that,” Daniel pouts, keeping his eyes locked on a pool floatie drifting across the blue water.

“Why didn’t you guys take me?” I throw back at him, feeling equally as upset as he is. “You left me here to read with my parents.”

“You’re too young still, Cal,” Daniel answers without hesitation. “I don’t trust anyone there with you.”

“I’d be fine, Daniel,” I nudge him, but he catches my elbow with his hand.

I freeze as his fingers grip my elbow, and he shakes his head briefly as he finally turns his head to meet mine. His face is serious, lacking his usual grin and signature dimples. I freeze beneath his touch, eyes stuck on his as he drops my elbow, “I don’t trust anyone there. Ask me again next year, and maybe I’ll take you.”

“I’ll talk to her next time,” I answer, trying to cover the butterflies in my stomach. “To Adriana. She’s dumb to reject you like that. I’ll yell if I have to.”

A smile tugs at his lips, and the butterflies in my stomach nearly explode as he laughs at my comment, “I’ll keep it in mind, Apples, but I think next year I won’t care anymore.”

“Well, I won’t forget it,” I start. “We’re in this together.”

“That we are,” he grins, nudging me with his elbow as we settle into the song.

We sit there for a while in silence, listening to whatever pops up on his iPod. He scrolls through on the device, fingers circling around the button in the middle, and I watch as he skips through songs he loves before settling on She Will Be Loved. My jaw drops open as it starts through the wired headphones.

“You love this one, yeah?” he says nonchalantly, avoiding my eyes as he looks down at the screen.

I nod wildly, “It’s one of my favorites.”

“That’s what I thought,” he says quietly, leaning into me slightly. As the song progresses, both of us humming along to the radio hit, he speaks quietly, “Thanks for checking on me, Cal. You’re the best. I don’t care what Jack says about you.”

It’s a mirror image of two nights ago, but this time our roles are reversed. Daniel sits on the edge of the pool, bare feet barely dipping into the warm water to avoid getting the ankles of his sweatpants wet. He’s wearing different clothes than this morning when I passed him wordlessly in the kitchen as he picked over his breakfast, and his hair is still a bit damp at the back of his head from his post-training shower. The air is cooler tonight, a biting chill coming off the ocean, and he sits with his back to the wind. His oversized sweatshirt swallows him whole, and his unruly curls sit wildly on top of his head. It’s evident his fingers have been tearing through them all day. He is singing along quietly to whatever is drifting from his wireless speaker, and I stand back to listen to him as he sings. I linger in the doorway for a moment, the two mugs in my hands warming my fingers and blanket draped across my arm. He turns to look at me when my slippers scuff on the deck, and despite the unfamiliar look of exhaustion written on his face, he smiles gently as I approach. I reach a hand out with a mug of hot chocolate, and his fingers brush mine as he takes the cup from me.

“It’s not from Greenhouse,” I start as he takes a sip of the hot liquid. “It’s just from whatever was in the kitchen, but I thought you’d like some.”

He nods as I sit next to him, smile softening around the corners as the warmth of the hot chocolate spreads, “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

I drape the fleece blanket over his shoulders before sitting next to him, and he laughs gently as I do. He looks younger with the blanket bunched around his neck and shoulders—like a child wearing a too large jacket. The pool deck is cold. The chill flashes through my sweatpants as I sit, and goosebumps are starting to erupt before I’ve even sat for an entire minute. The breeze ruffles my hair, and I dig my hands deeper into the sweatshirt sleeves before wrapping them around my own mug of store-bought hot chocolate. I turn to watch Daniel—to see the sapphire reflections from the pool on his skin—but he’s already turned to the side to look at me. His eyes are hooded, and where he’d usually have a joke to tell or a grin on his face, there’s nothing but exhaustion as our eyes meet. The stubble on his jaw is dark in the blue light, and the bags beneath his eyes are evident. I’m trapped in his gaze, eyes flitting across his face before returning back to his umber stare, and goosebumps spread on my skin as my shoulders shudder.

“Are you cold?” he whispers suddenly, and before I can even dig through the haze in my brain to answer, he’s scooting closer to me on the deck.

The outside of his leg presses to mine, and he relinquishes one corner of the blanket to wrap around my shoulder. His hand lingers across my back as he tucks the blanket around me before returning to his side. His forearm brushes mine as I try not to drop the mug in my hand. Warmth spreads from every point of contact between us, blooming across me as a defense against the cold, and I scold myself for falling victim to my body’s response.

“It’s colder than I thought it’d be,” I whisper gently, eyes looking back at him. “Thank you.”

He nods in agreement, fingers drumming against the ceramic mug. It was Dad’s favorite mug here. He swore it was the best because his drink never went cold inside the ceramic meant to look like the ocean. The dolphin emblazoned on the side made him laugh because it was clearly for summer tourists. Not us winter visitors bundled in sweatshirts. Dan’s nimble fingers rest over the dolphin, and the rose tattoo on his hand peeks out from beneath his sweatshirt sleeves. I get to look at him properly now with his eyes cast down toward his drink. He’s biting the inside of his cheek, something he always did as kids when there was something on his mind. The familiar divot appears just above where his dimples are, hidden now by dark stubble.

“You can talk about it if you want,” I nudge him gently with my elbow, slotting it into a space in his ribs. “I’m here if you want to talk about it. Even if you just want to dump whatever it is that’s bothering you, I’m here, Dan.”

“How have you always been able to tell something is bothering me?” he grins for a moment, airy laughter as he looks at me.

“You bite your cheek or your lip. You do it when you’re thinking about things and focusing. There’s a little divot in your cheek that isn’t quite where your dimples are,” I start, finger pressing into the spot on his cheek gently. The dark hair on his jaw is rough against my fingertip, and his skin is warm despite the biting breeze. He breaks into a smile when my finger pokes his cheek, laughing quietly and letting his dimples appear.

“I didn’t even realize I did that,” his voice is gentle, heart a little lighter, as my finger falls back to my lap. “You really know me better than myself, yeah?”

“I’ve known you forever,” I whisper, voice trailing off as we both look back to the pool. “We’ve been close a long time.”

There’s a stretching silence, full of nothing but the crashing waves beyond the house. I’m pressed into his side deeper as I tighten the blanket around my shoulder, and I’m ever-aware of the way our elbows slot together in between us with each sip of hot chocolate. We sit like that for a while, lost in our thoughts and basking in the other’s warmth in the unrelenting breeze. It’s like clockwork every time we’re at this house—some magnetic force drawing us together. It’s easy, and it’s comfortable. It’s dangerous, I remind myself, but the sounding warning bells are quiet when I’m near him. God knows how long our comfortable quiet stretches before he sighs gently, looking down at his hands and mug.

“When did we stop telling each other everything?”

He avoids my gaze as his fingers drum against the mug in his hand, and my stomach twists into knots at his question. I take a steadying breath, thankful he doesn’t twist his head to look at me as I gather strength to answer his question.

“We got older,” I attempt to shrug my shoulders beneath the tight blanket. “We aren’t 15 anymore.”

Both of us are aware of the unspoken truth between us. We broke our own hearts by trying to love each other. Daniel sighs as he glances back toward the mug in his hand, and after a stretching silence, his voice rasps after taking a sip of his drink.

“It’s not enough to just love something, is it?”

It’s hard to focus with his knee knocking against mine, but I answer quickly, “It depends what it is that we love and how we love.”

His silence stretches for a moment, long enough for the weight of my words to sink in but not so long that I become concerned with whatever is stewing in his head. He leans back into the blanket cutting across his shoulders, jostling me with him, and my elbow falls into a space tucked between his bicep and his ribs.

“It’s not enough to love racing anymore,” he whispers, and his voice is so quiet I barely catch his words.

“You can tell me what this is about, Dan,” I scrutinize the details of his face beneath the ambient blue light. “You’re scaring me a little bit.”

He takes a deep breath before he speaks, and his arm presses into mine, “I’m losing my seat. With the team, in the sport, forever. I don’t know, but I think I’m done, Cal, and I don’t know what my life looks like without it.”

He could have dropped a bomb and opened up a crater where the pool is in front of us, and I would have been just as shocked. His words leave me frozen as I try to wrap my head around what he’s saying. Instead of finding comfort, more questions let loose from my brain.

“Is that what the last two days have been about? The phone calls?”

He nods, voice hoarse as he speaks, “I’m so sick of listening to people on the phone and trying to negotiate different things. I sure as hell didn’t think my break would be like this. I could see this coming, but I didn’t think so soon. I thought I’d have time to figure out my life without racing.”

This version of Daniel—a dejected Dan with worry lines and faint traces of dimples—is one I’m not used to seeing, and it’s jarring. With some hesitancy, my arm loops around Daniel’s, linking our elbows together beneath the fabric of our respective sweatshirts. My hand crosses his forearm to rest on the back of his hand clutching his mug. My thumb brushes over the rose tattoo spreading across his skin, and even with all the pressure surrounding him and thoughts swirling in his head, he turns to me with a tight-lipped smile.

“I don’t want to tell you I’m sorry because there’s nothing I can do to change it,” I start, distracted by the warmth of his skin beneath mine. “But I am sorry, Dan. I’m sorry this is happening now and happening this way. I’m sorry there’s nothing else I can really do but be a distraction.”

“I don’t want you to have to feel like you need to do anything,” he whispers. “After all the shit I’ve put you through, I don’t even expect you to sit here and try to comfort me, but you are. It says a lot about you, Cal. You’re a good person, even after everything.”

“Daniel,” I whisper, scared my voice will betray me as all the buried memories and emotions threaten to break the surface.

His eyes catch mine now, and I feel the pit in my chest drop to my stomach. He doesn’t look like himself, but I’m sure I don’t look the same either. It’s easy to forget how much both of our lives had changed since that fated last meeting before he left to return to Europe. He joined a new team, was unable to visit home for nearly two years, and faced constant criticism and doubt. I had taken on a new job and faced the loss of my dad. Neither of us are who we were the last time we found ourselves in this position, drawn together like moths to a flame.

“I’m sorry, Apples,” he whispers, voice hoarse despite the smile cracking his lips as he uses the old nickname. “For everything, I’m sorry.”

And there it is. Our unspoken, understood rules not to discuss anything that had happened between us had cracked. Daniel Ricciardo is more than my first love. He was my first everything growing up, and even into adulthood, those lingering traces of his fingers on my skin or memories of late night phone calls still haunt me. Reminders of what was good, and flashbacks of where it went wrong. I could count on two hands the run-ins over the years—the attempts at making something work only for a destined implosion. My hand tightens over his on the mug, fingers falling in between the spaces of his warm digits and blue ceramic.

“You know, when Dad passed, he asked me what had happened between us. He asked me why I hadn’t been talking to you,” I whisper, throat closing at the memory of my father. “I don’t know how he knew we weren’t speaking like we used to. I told him you were too busy with racing, and it was true, Daniel, but I could never hold that against you. It’s who you are.”

“But is that all I’ve ever lived for? Who am I without it?”

The tears in his eyes nearly break me. They sit above his lashes, ready to spill over on to his cheeks, reflected blue like the pool water beneath us. His hand moves from my touch, turning gently to intertwine our fingers and press our palms together. His thumb catches the hem of my sweatshirt before resting on the back of my hand. I’m lost in his gaze, and my brain goes fuzzy with his calloused touch resting against my hand.

“Let’s find out, then,” I whisper, face heating beneath his gaze. “On this trip. We’ll find out who Daniel Ricciardo is, beyond the visor and the track and the fame and the travel. I know who you are, Dan, but it’s time for you to find out, too.”

His warm gaze holds my eyes, and for a moment, it feels like how things used to be. I’m suddenly 7 years old, tucked under a blanket next to a newly 9-year-old Daniel. We’re arguing about something despite his arm around my shoulders, and Jack is off in the distance riding his skateboard. He calls for our attention when he tries to kickflip, and we pause our argument every time to watch him try the trick. Despite our arguing, his lopsided grin grows with every passing moment. I catch a glimpse of that Daniel now. To keep it lighthearted and ignoring the hammering of my heart, I add on, “Or I can try to crowdsource a team. I don’t know how yet, but we’ll make you a seat. Scuderia O’Connor.”

He laughs despite his watery gaze, and my cheeks glow prideful at being able to make him laugh and make his dimples appear. His hand squeezes mine, “I’d love racing for that team. Team colors would be blue and green, yeah?”

I nod my head, “You still remember my favorite colors.”

I’m trapped in his gaze, feeling pinned beneath his brown eyes and his grasp on my hand. I’m hyper aware of our proximity beneath the blanket and our bodies pressed to the other’s side. The warning bells that my brain was desperately trying to sound earlier are still silent, but even I know that deep down I should be hearing their familiar ringing.

He doesn’t move, eyes blinking as they soften into sleepy remnants of his wide-eyed gaze, “How could I forget?”

His fingers brush a piece of loose hair back from my face, fighting against the wind as he tucks the wispy strand behind my ear. His fingers graze my cheek as they return back to his side, and I’m grateful once our eye contact breaks—I finally feel like I can breathe again. I’m not sure how long we sit in silence, fingers still pressing into each other for warmth. The breeze ruffles my hair, but with my face pressed into Daniel’s shoulder and blanket blocking the wind from my cheek, I manage to fall asleep in our silence. Daniel notices when my breathing slows and my hand goes limp in his grasp. He doesn’t wake me, and he doesn’t let go. He relishes in the quiet moment for as long as he can stand the howling wind.

I used to fall asleep during all of our movie nights. Every time Daniel wanted to show me a movie (usually Fast and Furious), I would promise him I’d stay up, and every time, I’d end up falling asleep on the couch next to him. He never woke me to finish the movie, and he never stopped trying to show me more and more of his favorite movies. It was an unspoken understanding between us—he’d pick a movie, and I’d sleep right through it. He’d shake me awake gently when the end credits were rolling, and I’d always find myself with a foot tucked beneath his knee, a head on his shoulder, or my arm slung across him. Our moment now reminds him of every movie marathon at the house, and when he looks down at me, he’s suddenly reminded by dyed-blonde hair and manicured brows that I’m not that girl anymore. He’s not that boy.

“Cal,” he whispers, nudging my cheek with his shoulder. I open my eyes slowly to look at him, lashes thick with sleep, and my cheek doesn’t venture far from the warmth of his shoulder. I notice my hand still in his, but his words distract me from flexing my fingers, “Let’s get in and go to bed, yeah?”

I nod, but both of us are slow to pull our hands back to our sides. He unwraps the blanket from his shoulders, tucking it around me before he stands on the deck. He steadies me as I follow, feet stumbling on the edge, and I mutter a quiet thank you as his hands fall from my hips. He carries both of our mugs, motioning for me to go ahead of him, and I relish in the warmth of the house as we cross the threshold. There’s more distance between us in the kitchen than we had all night by the pool, and without him in my space, I’m able to think clearly. I lean against the counter as he drops the mugs into the sink, and he turns to look at me from his leaning stance against the metal basin. Neither of us say anything, eyes meeting in the dimly lit kitchen. The air is filled with so many things that each of us want to say. I remember when you played me my favorite song without asking. I remember when you kissed me at the beach bonfire I begged you to take me to for years. I remember when I met you in France. I remember how it felt to think you loved me. Daniel’s face holds just as much, his bottom lip tucked in between his teeth as his brown eyes travel over my own features. I can still feel the indent of his shoulder against my warm cheek. After a moment of our silence, I whisper a goodnight, forcing myself to turn away from him and head toward the stairs to avoid breaking my number one rule.

“Don’t forget,” he grins as I climb the stairs with the blanket still wrapped around me. “Tomorrow is day one. You’re going to help me figure out how to live.”

“Just promise me you won’t get a crush on me in the process,” I laugh, a lighthearted joke to bring the smile back to his face. “This isn’t year 10.”

He hesitates for the briefest moment, grin taking root and eyes tracing the soft curves of my face, “I wouldn’t dare.”

Day 4 of 19

I toss and turn all night. Everytime it feels like my brain is finally turning quiet and my eyes start to close, I jolt awake with the memory of Daniel’s words. I wouldn’t dare. Lopsided grin and messy hair. Those dimples poking through. Once I finally accept I’ll be getting no sleep as memories—both good and bad—replay over and over of all the times I let myself fall into the trap of Daniel Ricciardo, the sun is starting to rise with the sky turning into a soft glow. The gentle dunes of the beach are cast in a pastel orange light, and the waves crash gentle just beyond the house. Rather than lay in bed and continue my back and forth between awake and asleep, I decide on an early run that would surely turn into a walk to take my mind off whatever it is that is happening between Daniel and me. I need out of this house to think clearly. Trainers in hand, I pad down the hallway toward the staircase quietly. Daniel’s door is cracked, and I’m extra cautious as the floorboards creak beneath my weight. Once I finally make it to the bottom of the staircase, I let go of the breath I was holding.

The house is quiet in the early morning hours, and a chill creeps through the window panes as they creak in the brisk wind. I pause in the kitchen to grab a water bottle from the fridge, and my eyes land on the two dirty mugs in the sink. The dolphin is practically staring at me. I linger as I stare at the two mugs, rings of chocolate settled in the bottom, and my mind drifts back to last night. I groan when I remember how good it felt to be pressed into his side with our fingers touching. What happened to being mad at him? I tear myself away from the kitchen, bracing for the wind and what is surely going to be a miserable jog.

The air is brisk, wind whipping off the coast and grabbing at my clothes, but I welcome the chill as it stings against my cheeks. For a few moments, I relish in the breeze swirling around me and watch as the sky turns from lavender hues to eggshell blue and pale orange ribbons. Once I’ve put off starting my slow jog long enough, I take another look at the sky before sticking earbuds in. Motion City Soundtrack starts immediately in my ears, and I quickly realize Daniel had shown me this song years ago. It seems I can’t get away from him, but I turn up the volume another notch as I take off down the trail where we used to ride motorbikes.

Not long into my slow pace, and my chest is heaving as sweat prickles at my hairline. I was never the athletic one of the bunch, but I always tried to keep up with the boys. Michael would be laughing his ass off if he could see me right now struggling through a jog down the beach. I turn the music up another notch to drown out my own gasping breaths, and my pace begins to falter as I circle around the trail and back toward the house.

“Callie!”

I stop my already-slowing jog, listening again as someone yells my name. Is that Daniel? I tug one of the earbuds from my ear and turn around.

“Couldn’t sleep either?”

Daniel is approaching me from the path cutting behind the house, and his wild curls are held back by a cap. Sweat is gleaming on his forearms in the still-rising sun, and patches of his shirt are sticking to his shoulders and back. I struggle to tear my eyes away from him and focus on a response, especially with the way his chest is rapidly rising and falling as he searches for air from his undoubtedly much harder run.

He’s grinning when I finally break my gaze from his body to meet his eyes. I shake my head, feeling a blush crawling up my cheeks, “Didn’t sleep at all. Got a lot on my mind.”

“Me too,” he nods, chest still heaving and taunting me. “I didn’t know you were running again.”

“I’m not really,” I answer with a shrug. “I just felt like getting up rather than lay in bed and do nothing.”

Daniel is silent for a moment as he takes in my appearance now, lifting his cap to run fingers through his damp hair before letting the cap settle back over his curls. His pause feels deliberate, and I’m overly-conscious of my body language in revealing I feel his eyes on me. His eyes meet mine now—a fair trade off after my own moment of looking him up and down—with a soft smile.

“I still have my morning workout if you’d like to join me,” he starts. “I wouldn’t mind the company.”

“No Michael this morning?” I raise my brows. “Isn’t he your trainer?”

Daniel laughs, leaning in slightly as he glances back up at the house, “Between you and me, I’m trying to give him the break off. His only break during the season, and he’s still spending it with me.”

I catch his cologne wafting off him despite the sweat still gleaming on his neck, and I force my answer to remain normal despite my body’s very abnormal response, “You’re finally acknowledging how annoying you can be? Pinch me, I must be dreaming.”

He laughs loudly—a full belly laugh that sends him even closer toward me. I can’t help the smile on my own face as he laughs, and his voice is still a touch raspy from the early morning hours, “A few days, and I’m already subject to your comments?”

“We agreed we wanted it to be like old times,” I remind him, feeling an unease creep through me at the implications of what we used to be.

Just the thought of what was and what used to be makes a pit in my stomach open up, and to get so close to having to speak it out loud is no help. Daniel catches it, too, and a look passes over his face that I can’t quite decipher. I used to be able to read his mind as kids—all the way up until he left for Europe. The smallest twitch of his cheek or flutter around his eyes, and I knew what he was thinking. After our stare lingers for a moment too long, he shakes his head gently and his smile returns.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way,” he nods, but the smile doesn’t entirely reach the corners of his eyes. He turns away from me as he braces his hands against his back, stretching his torso as he looks up toward the brightening sky, “So, you down to join?”

“Am I joining or watching?” I respond, watching as the outline of his abs disappear beneath his shirt when he returns to a full stand.

He grins, “Motivating. When I slack or complain, yell. You’ll enjoy it.”

I follow him around the front of the house with a grin, “You know me so well.”

Halfway through the workout, Daniel's speaker is blaring some hip hop as he swings a kettlebell. Every time he huffs and complains in between sets, I scold him. He always responds with a laugh and sometimes a middle finger, but he continues with the seemingly grueling workout. I lean against the fence, perched on an old patio chair, and try my best to keep my staring to a minimum. Every time he is focused, eyes boring ahead as he concentrates his energy into the workout, my own eyes can’t help but stare at him. I was doing well keeping my cool, but when he tossed his shirt to the side, I lost all sense of decorum. My fingers itch to trace the new tattoos on his skin, and I try to keep my eyes from his tensing abs and clearly sculpted hips disappearing beneath the athletic shorts. Daniel lunges again with the kettlebell, dropping to the ground with a huff as he places his hands above his head. I give him a moment to catch his breath before speaking.

“Did you have to take your shirt off? It’s cold out here,” I scold him.

He chuckles breathily as his chest rises and falls, “Why? Like what you see?”

“You’re a pig,” I laugh to cover the blush rising up my cheeks.

“I try my best,” he grins. “I know I’m irresistible. It’s okay, Cal, you can admit it.”

“In your dreams, Dan,” I shoot back, finding joy in our lighthearted conversation.

The heaviness of the past few days, all of the bubbling emotions and memories, eases with our back and forth. It’s truly like the old Daniel and Callie—the best friends who could barely stand to say a nice thing to one another. It’s comforting, even if I am watching him in a very un-bestfriend-like way. After a few more sets in his workout, Daniel finally calls it, collapsing on to the lounge chair next to me. I can smell his cologne mixing with sweat as his chest heaves, and the rolling in my stomach indicates that I need to get some space from him before I do something stupid and let the rest of my defenses crumble.

“What’s on the agenda today?” he asks, snapping his fingers in front of my face when I take too long to answer.

I shake my head to clear the images from my brain, stumbling over my words as I start, “The weather isn’t looking great. It’s supposed to get colder.”

Daniel grabs my forearm, grinning broadly as he looks at me, “You know what that means?” I look at him clueless, my slack lips and furrowed eyebrows clearly showing my confusion, and he answers swiftly, “A movie day!”

“Daniel, I-”

“Please,” he whines, hand wrapped around my wrist and leaning in toward me.

I’m trying so hard not to look at his shirtless torso, but with him this close, it’s difficult to avoid. Finally, I agree to his request, sending him back inside after he grins, “Go shower. You stink, asshole.”

“You secretly love it!” he grins as he saunters toward the house, plucking his discarded shirt from the ground as he enters through the garage.

I throw my head back against the chair, groaning as my hands cover my face when the door shuts. I nearly jump as Michael approaches, head spinning to see him jogging up the path.

“You’re so in trouble,” he laughs, turning away from me as I swing a fist but miss his ribs.

“Go call your girlfriend again. I’m sure she’d love to see you after your run,” I fire at him.

He only continues to grin, “Not as much as you’d like to see him.”

“This is your fault, you know,” I call as he walks toward the front of the house to complete his run. “If you weren’t so damn good at your job, he wouldn’t look like that!”

“You’re welcome!” he calls before disappearing around the corner.

After my own shower, I head down the stairs in sweats and a long sleeve shirt, ready for a long day parked on the couch indulging in snacks that will catch up to me unlike when I was a kid. I kick my feet up on the long end of the sectional, and Daniel laughs at the Red Bull fuzzy socks on my feet. He makes a comment about me still owning them as he sets snacks and drinks on the coffee table in front of us.

“I couldn’t part with them if I wanted to,” I grin. “They’re practically a relic now.”

“Watch it there,” he warns with a playful grin. “Still a sore subject.”

He eventually settles on a Fast and Furious marathon, finding all of the movies on a streaming service and laughing wildly like a school kid as I protest. Sweat prickles at my hairline and palms as he hits play on the first film, and after a first helping to the snacks and drinks he brought out for us, we settle into the film. Michael stops down to eat an early lunch, laughing as he sees us sprawled on the sectional, sucked into the film. He snaps a few pictures despite our protest before making a cheeky comment and heading back upstairs to call some clients. Halfway through the film, and I’m noticing our shoulders touching despite our sprawled position and length of the sectional couch. Neither of us move, and when he starts to talk, I notice him lean in some.

“This reminds me of before I left for Europe,” he chuckles as he bumps my shoulder with his on the couch. “My last winter here.”

I laugh as he nudges me, “It’s missing that awful Lynx body spray you used to wear.”

His laugh is crystal clear as it echoes through the open living room into the kitchen, bouncing off walls and reminding me of winter days full of warm laughter. It’s reminiscent of the wind chimes he bought my mom for her birthday out on the porch, melodical in the sea breeze and a background to our days by the pool.

His laughter ebbs as I stir up the long forgotten memories of his beloved teenage cologne, and he hesitates a moment before he speaks. Should he say this?

“It worked though, didn’t it?”

The memories flash before my eyes, and even after all these years, heat rises up my neck. No way he’s bringing this up right now. Not after everything. Daniel chuckles, voice raspy in the quiet apartment, “Too embarrassed to answer?”

“Dan,” I fear my voice will betray me, and my eyes send him a stern look. Nerves fester in my stomach, and I can feel my face burning red as his eyes watch me.

He hums quietly with a mischievous look, “I remember it, Cal. All of it.”

“You know I’m only doing this because you’re leaving me for good, right?” I shoot at the boy sitting on the couch, carrying more food to the coffee table in front of him.

“Yes, but also because you love me and I asked nicely,” he grins, running fingers through his wild curls. “And it’s not like I’ll never be back. Australia is still home even if I’m away for a while.”

“Might as well be leaving me,” I sit on the couch next to him, bumping his shoulder with mine. “You’re going off to Europe and leaving me to navigate the Aussie boys by myself.”

“You’ve had no trouble navigating them through this point,” he laughs, putting his feet up on the table.

“Because I don’t actually hang out with them!” I defend myself, sipping from my soda can. “I lead them on the chase, but that’s it.”

“Good, you don’t need to be messing around with those bastards,” Daniel says matter-of-factly.

“Well, news flash,” I huff, crossing my arms angrily, “I haven’t been messing around with anyone. I’m only reminded of it constantly.”

Silence stretches between us for a moment before the boy turns to me with furrowed brows, “You mean that? You haven’t messed around with anyone?”

“I’m still a virgin if that’s what you’re getting at,” I snap at him, feeling anger and frustration bubble within me.

“Honest?” he looks baffled. “Even with all those guys after you?”

“What the fuck are you implying?” I hit his arm harshly.

His expression changes as he holds his hands out in front of him, “No, that’s not what I mean! You’re pretty, and they clearly like you. I mean it as in you have options.”

“You don’t get it,” I sigh, rubbing my eyes as fingers drag across my temples. “They don’t like me. They just think I’ll be easy. That’s not how I want my first time to go, Dan. I want it to be with someone I at least trust.”

“So a boyfriend?”

“Not necessarily,” some of my anger ebbs, but annoyance still laces its way through my tone. “For example, someone like you and Michael. Someone who at least respects me, you know?”

“I guess I get it,” he shrugs. “I just don’t see why it should matter right now whether you are or aren’t one.”

“I just want it over with,” I groan as I drop my head into my hands. “Just forget I said anything. Let’s watch the movie.”

Daniel hits play on the remote, leaning into the arm of the couch as he attempts to get comfortable. The weight of our conversation hangs in the air as we watch the movie in an uncomfortable silence. My mind tries to focus on the film in front of us, but my thoughts keep drifting to the boy next to me. His cologne fills my brain, short wiring my neurons as I search for a grasp on reality and reason. My fingertips dig into my thighs, knuckles turning white as they clutch denim. Daniel shifts repeatedly in his seat on the other end of the couch, moving the entire piece of furniture every time he swings his leg around or wiggles his hips on the cushion. He adjusts the volume of the movie repeatedly, failing to settle on a volume level. The dialogue is too quiet, and the cars too loud. Daniel reaches toward the table to grab a soda can, his leg bouncing wildly the entire time.

“Will you stop fidgeting?” I snap at him. “I’m trying to watch the movie.”

“No, you’re not,” he shoots back, leg still bouncing. “You’ve been zoning out.”

My cheeks turn bright red, “So, you’ve been watching me instead of the movie that you begged me to watch with you?”

He turns defensive as his cheeks burn red, too, “How could I not? You’ve been sitting there biting your lip and squeezing your legs after we just talked about sex. You want me to not notice?”

“I have not!” I shriek at him, feeling the heat of a blush spreading across my neck and chest. “You’re the one who has been squirming in his seat ever since!”

“Do you blame me?” his voice is loud as he stares at me intently. “I’ve got a girl sitting next to me—a very attractive one at that—wishing she could change her lack of experience, and she’s clearly on one with her body language.”

“My body language?” I scoff. “Look at you! You’re so bound up that I’m surprised you haven’t excused yourself already.”

“Since we’re being so open and honest here,” Daniel waves his hands in front of him, trailing off and letting my brain complete a mental image that both mortified and intrigued me. “You started it!”

“I didn’t realize that me telling you about being a virgin still would turn you into a hornball! Sorry for even bringing it up!” I yell back at him, annoyance mixing with embarrassment. “I thought I was still talking to my best friend, not one of those bastards as you put it.”

Daniel suddenly closes the space between us, lips clashing awkwardly before he pulls away. My eyes are wide, and my chest heaves as he looks at me with wide eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he trips over his words as I sit in shock. “I don’t know why I-“

My body acts before my brain does, and my fingers weave their way through the hair at the back of Daniel’s head as I reconnect our lips. His hands are unsure as they settle gingerly at my waist, but when I throw a leg over his hips, his hands press into me harder. He breaks away from me to look up at me, trying to comprehend what is currently happening around him. I was straddling him, confirmed by the way his sweatpants were getting uncomfortable, and my cheeks were flushed red as my chest heaved for air. Once I realize what I’ve done, coming to when I feel him against my inner thigh through our clothes, I start apologizing as I scramble off him. His hands stop me.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I-”

“Callie,” he murmurs breathlessly, eyes still following my face.

“I’m not completely innocent,” I whisper, eyes searching his with my hands still around his neck. “I don’t know why I did this. I’m sorry, Daniel.”

“Do you want to?”

“What?” I whisper, heart hammering against my chest.

I can’t break away from his gaze, trapped above his eyes and ever-aware of his hands on my hips. His cheeks turn pink as he swallows, and my eyes can’t help but watch his Adam’s apple bob before following the tanned skin of his neck back to his face.

“Do you want me to be the first?” his voice is gentle, but he is secretly unsure as I freeze above him.

“Not if it’s out of pity,” I whisper. “Forget I said anything.”

His hands keep me in place, and his dark eyes follow my face. When he leans up to kiss me again, dispelling any fears of it being out of pity, my mind goes numb. Was this really happening? My childhood crush was kissing me. I was sitting on his lap. No one was home.

“No way you do,” I laugh to hide my nerves. “That was so long ago and quite frankly so awkward.”

“Remember when we almost got caught?” he laughs, sensing my discomfort and shifting his tone to a jovial one. “Your brother and Michael came back earlier than they were supposed to.”

I groan at the memory, remembering how my heart leapt out of my chest as my brother knocked on Daniel’s bedroom door with me beneath him, “I thought I was going to pass away then and there!”

“God, I could barely keep it up after that,” tears well in his eyes as he chokes his words through laughter.

I feel more comfortable as he laughs about the situation, and I follow his trip down memory lane as I recall my brother, “He never did find out, did he? You told him some excuse about how we were getting a present ready for his birthday.”

“Don’t you worry,” he grins, nodding his head as he pushes his hair back. “No one ever found out I was your first proper fuck.”

“Please, I’ve had much better since then,” I laugh as I meet his eyes.

“Well, I’d hope so!” he shrieks, eyes crinkling as he lets out loud laughter that echoes off the walls. “I was still 17 and had only slept with one other girl!”

“God,” I groan, laughing as I rub my hands down my face, “I can’t believe I really told you about how I was still a virgin.”

“Horny teenagers, Callie,” he says as he stands from the couch. “It happens to all of us.”

He reaches for the remote, pausing the movie as he heads toward the restroom. Once I hear the door latch, I leap from the catch to grab a water bottle and chug half the contents on the spot. I pull my sleeves up and fan my face as I pace around the stretch of carpet in front of the couch. I thought both of us agreed to not talk about anything that happened between us, and to me, that means everything. When I hear the door, I flop back down to the same spot as before, and when Daniel approaches, he pauses to look at me before pressing play.

“You alright?” he starts, flopping next to me. “I’m sorry I brought it up, but I thought it’d give you a laugh.”

I nod, agreeing with him, “Yeah, I’m just dying of embarrassment now. I was hoping we’d never bring it up again.”

He sticks his pinky out, and after a moment, I link mine with his.

“Our secret then, and our secret now,” he grins, but the lull to his voice makes my stomach roll.

It’s going to be a long three weeks.

Dad, wherever you are, give me some strength to get through this. I know I made you promises to let him back in, but I made promises to myself, too. Don’t let me fail. Not after this long.

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#august #daniel ricciardo one shot #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fanfic #formula one imagine #formula 1 imagine

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alaskashigh · 11 months

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hi coyotl :D

got any hyper-specific caliyork headcanons?

wave wave :)

if you were to strap a c4 to my back and let it explode i would COMBUST with caliyork headcanons.

i hope this is what you mean by hyper-specific

they bite. like all of the time. its their love language and you can TRY ripping this out of my cold dead hands I DARE YOU. the first time that they showed up to a meeting with bites all over each other everyone was concerned as hell and thought they had been attacked. they mainly bite each other because they both struggle with emotions (california has too many emotions at once and doesn’t know how to deal with it so physical affection ex: biting is what helps him get those feelings across. new york struggles with not feeling emotions much and has found that biting/other physical affection even if he isn’t used to it helps him make sure that california knows he loves him.)

they are both insomniacs because of their cities and because they both can’t sit still for the life of them.

california, even though he’s taller than new york (my headcanon), will often steal his shirts and sweaters, sometimes without even realizing it. they have left clothes in each others rooms so many times to the point where they’ll find someone’s sock or pants underneath their bed or in their closet hung up. no one really questions it when they see one of them wearing the others shirt or beanie anymore.

“Cal is that my shirt?”

“Huh- oh uh idk, it was in my closet lol”

both of them love to skateboard and will snatch one of them up at any chance and drag them outside to go skateboarding. after meetings, in the middle of the day, 2am at night- gov has walked out of his office at 6 in the morning (we all know he doesnt sleep) to see the two sitting in the living room drinking icees with their skateboards propped up next to them while watching tv. he has caught the two of them sneaking out at night and has tried to stop them so many times to the point that he doesnt even care anymore, as long as they come back before 8am.

they are almost always around each other and it is rare when they aren’t. you’ll find them snuggled up on the couch, sitting next to each other during dinner, sticking close to one another while out and about, literally just walking down the statehouse hallways together- if ones somewhere the other is either right next to them or a few feet behind.

when new york has to go to his/other states for business stuff he’ll buy california souvenirs and things that reminds him of him because he knows that california loves collecting little things like that. california does the same for him when he’s gone.

i have so many more but i just realized how long this was getting so- my dms are open if you want to talk about it more with me there. i’ll probably make another post about them filled with more headcanons because i’m actually so in love with them lmao

#wttt california #wttsh california #wttt new york #wttsh new york #wttt caliyork #wttt yorkcali #caliyork #yorkcali #wttt #welcome to the statehouse #welcome to the table #wttsh #ben brainard

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ivettel · 10 months

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oh oh, 6,7,10 !

okie doke! thanks for sending an ask <3

6. do you listen to music while giffing/editing? if so, what kind(s) of music?

yep! i'll listen to anything depending on my mood and the songs i'm obsessed with at any given moment. currently on a contemporary/indie hiphop kick, stuff like this :)

7. where do you go for giffing/editing resources?

it's so bad of me, but for anything i can't make using shape layers, i literally just go on google images and grab smth from the most convenient png stock site 💀 would recommend pexels for stock images and videos though! + idk if this counts as a resource, but for giffing/editing ideas, i usually scroll through pinterest or watch vids on my insp playlist.

10. who are your favourite gifmakers/editors and why?

oh boy, get ready. okay. in no particular order! @aaarondessner has such an eye for composition and dynamics--his still compositions explode with movement and it's so mesmerizing to see. @oscar-piastri's stuff is so clean, i feel like i could print her graphics out on regular printer paper and they'd come out glossy. @queerbenched never misses, ever; i swear his eyes are powered by some sort of extraterrestrial power like howwww do you even get those colours. incredible portfolio. @maranello is offline atm but forever she holds goat status when it comes to editing! just an incredible aesthetic vision with an intuitive sense of how every element works thematically and visually. simultaneously astounding and painful to watch her work. @josefnewgayden is ofc one of my favourites ever; so so much talent packed into one person! fir's gfx sets are truly some of the most well-composed, well thought-out, and stunningly creative pieces i've seen, but also their simpler gifsets shine--all vibrance, no oversaturation or overstimulation. seeing fish colours is possible at josefnewgayden dot tumblr dot com. @brawn-gp too has a fantastic eye for colour--they can make even the shittiest footage possible look stellar and crisp with little to no compromise! @cal-kestis is a legend on tumblr ofc but truly i'm always blown away by her edits! her experimentation and bold style pop out of my screen and leave my jaw on the floor. in a similar vein, i'm obsessed with @padme-amidala's work too--literally don't know how she coaxes the kinds of colours she does out of star wars footage, and her compositions always look so pleasing to the eye. @husbono has the biggest brain in the game! so many edits of hers live seared behind my eyelids--they're the definition of gorgeous, and they have this almost oil painting look to them, i don't know that i'm not looking at hyper-realistic studio art. @margaretacarter is the goat of giffing, full stop; her creative vision is unparalleled and there's so much personality to her sets!

god i know i'm missing people for sure i'm so sorry ;-; but lots of favs around who are endlessly inspiring!

#kyle 🏷️#genius bar #ask game

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outivv · 2 years

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😒😒😒⁉️ SMH I DONT SEE ANY OCTAVINELLE W A GIRLBOSS MATERIAL GIRL RICH READER, cal said they'd write it for me *heart eyes widening while exploding

Synopsis: girlboss reader cause that is so… <33333

Warnings: not proofread

Game/ fandom: twisted wonderland

Characters: azul, jade, and Floyd

Pronouns for reader: she/ her but only mentioned once I think

A/n: THIS LITERALLY TOOK ME A MONTH TO GET TO GOOD LORD. Anyways, apologies for the long wait, hope you enjoy :D!

— Azul —

Now, azul is a simple man. He just wants a hot, badass girlfriend who’ll stand up for him at a restaurant because they got his order wrong. Is that so much to ask for???

Azul and you are literally a power couple. Or at least look like a power couple. You got the head of mostro lounge, who’s also basically a squid that joined the mafia one day, and became A conman, and then you, who’s an absolute badass. In reality though azul hides in his octopot a lot of times, and while he’s not afraid of confrontation… he’ll definitely ask you to hell him out with a rude customer quite often.

Literally the dynamic of “he asked for no pickles.” JEGJDHD. Azul can stand up for himself hut he probably finds it immensely attractive when you stand up for him. He genuinely just swoons.

— Jade —

Interesting. Power couple again buy in a creepy way. Like you both give off mafia kinda vibes, and like you would actually ruin someone’s life if they crossed you. BUT JADE LOVESSSS THAT. He adores the feeling that you both are seen as very intimidating, it fuels his ego a bit, and loves the confidence it gives you both.

Has daydreams about you both, like living you best life in the future being the literal power couple you are. Both of you being successful, and influential people. Literally his biggest dream for you both.

His parents love you. HEVJEBS ALRIGHT HIS PARENTS LOVE YOU. I headcanon jade and Floyd to come from a family with a lot of influence, or connections, you know very high up, and even wealthy people. AND THEY LOVEEEE YOU. They think you and jade are literally a perfect fit for each other, and love your personality so much.

— Floyd —

Good luck. Whenever Floyd is causing trouble they call you. You then scold him, and he just makes big puppy eyes cause he probably thinks you’re hot when scolding him. HCSJSBS

However he doesn’t like how people view him as the “weaker” or “childish” one in the relationship. Like yeah you’re an absolute girlboss and he adoresss that, like literally adored that about you, that and how you can keep up with him. But, he just doesn’t appreciate how people… basically don’t view him as very intimidating anymore. Like yeah he does demand you cuddle him, and yeah, he is little spoon, but he should be very very feared. >:O

Like jade his parents also live you, but for different reasons. They like how you have a lot of confidence around Floyd, and that you keep him chill JGEJEB. Literally Floyd will do whatever he wants, he’s very carefree, and his moods swings can really rule his life, but the fact that he actually listens to you?? You’re literally perfect.

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deepwoundsandfadedscars · 2 years

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I wish you'd write a fic where cal kestis falls off a cliff and gets hurt while exploring and his friends search for him desperately before it's too late 👀

What should've been a short writing exercise became a month long 1,800 word fic, I apologize for taking so long but in my defense I've only had 5 days off in that month and 10-16 hour long work days 😆 Hope you enjoy, and thank you for the prompt 💚

Read on Ao3!

He woke to a shrill beep and something nudging against his hand. When he managed to pry open his eyes, a small vial with bright green fluid rested in the palm of his limp hand and he could see two more in the grass next to it. It was familiar, he knew he needed to do something with it, but the pain radiating up and down his spine and around his torso was too intense. A little droid bounced from one foot to another until it squatted down and pushed against his fingers with its head again. He curled his fingers as much as he could and tried to bring it closer to his face to investigate with blurry eyes.

The tiny movement made pain explode through his neck and he succumbed to the blackness again.

The next time he wakes there’s a voice in his ear, slightly out of breath but speaking calmly. A woman's voice, he knows she sounds familiar but he’s so disoriented he can’t put a name or a face to it. The words don’t make sense either, like his brain isn’t keeping them in the correct order as they travel from the device in his ear and all the way into his mind. Slowly it starts to fall into an order that makes a little bit of sense.

“It’s okay, Cal. I just need you to wake up. Merrin and I are almost there.”

There? Where is there? Does she mean here? Where he is? Where is here? It’s dark, wherever here is. Or are his eyes closed? He can’t gather the strength to even test that theory. Is she even talking to him? She said Cal, is he Cal? That sounds right…

He hears that beeping and trilling again, somewhere nearby. It makes the pain in his head spike, a little bit too loud. Somehow the woman must be able to hear it and her voice returned. “BD, he’s awake? Are you sure? Cal, can you hear me? Say something, please.”

She had to have been talking to him, right? Now if only he could put words together…

He managed a groan, which was apparently all she needed to hear. “Cal!" Too loud, which makes him groan again. "Hey, stay awake for me, okay? We’re here, we’re right above you!”

Above? That doesn’t make sense… And there goes that beeping again…

There were two soft thumps, one in front of him and the other on the ground behind him where he felt a presence there moments before a hand landed on his upper arm. “Oh Cal…” The voice he heard in his ear was real this time, not being distorted by the comm link anymore. She was right here, he could see who it was if he just managed to open his eyes. But he was so tired, and everything hurt, it would take too much effort…

A warm hand gently pried his fingers open, removing the small vial he had forgotten about from his hand and shortly after there was a hiss and warmth flooded his arm. He sighed as the painkiller worked quickly, the sharp pains in his head and spine turning to a dull numbness, and relaxed further into the grass. Even without being able to move he hadn’t realised how the pain had kept every muscle in his body so tense.

He revelled in the numbness for a few minutes, feeling like he was almost floating somewhere above his own body, separate from the injuries that still riddled it. He could hear quiet murmurs nearby and the occasional trilling beep.

Slowly he came back to himself and noticed the sensation of someone rubbing their hand up and down his arm. The same person was quietly pleading with him to wake up again. He heard more than felt the quiet hiss as they administered another vial, this time in his thigh. Opening his eyes didn’t feel like such a daunting task anymore and he finally managed to drag them open just as the voice said something else he didn’t quite catch. His field of vision was mostly green grass and black dirt, some of which was wet with red. He couldn’t think of why, but it didn’t seem like a good thing.

He managed to turn his head ever so slightly and the little droid leapt nearly a foot into the air, beeping happily. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye and turned further to see two blurry figures quickly swapping places around him. The figure in front of him dropped to their knees and leaned close to his face. Recognition followed by relief flooded his mind as her face came into focus and he let his head thump onto the ground again. “Cere…”

A pained smile flickered across her face and she squeezed his arm. “We’re here. Try to stay still.”

In spite of her request he craned his neck to see who knelt behind him and he caught a glimpse of Merrin’s familiar green magick. She conjured a small cloud around her right hand and placed it against the back of his neck, placing her other hand on his cheek so he wouldn't turn any further. The hand on his neck slowly trailed downward, he could feel the magick slipping along his spine, like the pins and needles feeling he got in his legs when he meditated for too long.

Her hand on his cheek was cool and grounding. He tested moving his hand and when nothing instantly screamed in pain at the movement, he raised it to wrap fingers around her hand, holding it in place. She squeezed his fingers in response and he closed his eyes again, waiting for her to finish.

“He has broken ribs and strained muscles, but I don’t sense any damage to his spinal cord.”

He heard Cere exhale heavily, as though she had been waiting with baited breath for the Nightsisters report. He had to agree with her relief, he couldn’t tell on his own, numb as he was. The pain had been overwhelming and blinded him to any particular focal point, and now with the painkilling numbness of the stimpack, he couldn’t say for sure. His head still felt floaty, as though if he just allowed himself to, he would fall asleep right then and there.

He felt Cere’s hand on his forehead, pushing his hair back and he wearily opened one eye to look up at her.

“Can you move your legs?”

He closed his eye again and let his head turn back towards the dirt, brow furrowed as he thought about it. “‘m tired.”

“I know you are, but I just want to check. Can you try?”

It took a moment for him to focus, but he managed to wiggle the toes of his boots, scratching divots in the mud.

“Good, that’s really good Cal.”

He hummed and started to drift off, satisfied in a job well done, as little as it had been. One of them was carefully moving his hair, and the familiarity was a lulling comfort. Before he could fully fall asleep again the side of his head was suddenly shrouded in warmth and his eyes flew open in surprise, looking up to find Merrin’s hand gently pressing down the edges of a bacta patch over his head wound.

“Sorry,” She shrugged sheepishly. "I should have warned you."

“‘s ok,” he said, lifting his hand to wrap around hers again, capturing her fingers to keep her hand pressed against his cheek. Her skin was cool against his own, his whole head felt like it was too hot and her contact gave him some relief. “‘s ok,” he muttered again and relaxed into the mud again, content for the moment to stay exactly where he was.

He could hear Merrin and Cere talking above him, but he was starting to float away again, unconcerned about whatever they were talking about. Occasionally Greeze’s voice crackled through the comm link, but Cal was too out of it to listen to him either. It was comforting hearing their voices, reminding him of quiet downtime on the ship, exhausted after a long day spent on a planet and relaxing on the couch around the table, drifting off to their conversation. Back on Bracca, silence was rare, even off the jobsite. In five years, he never had a room to himself, and none of the others living in those rooms had much care for what everyone else's schedules were like, if they were sleeping or not. Loud conversations and disagreements and clambering about while getting ready for their shifts were something Cal learned to sleep through, so much so that after his first exhausted night on the Mantis, he found it hard to fall asleep in silence. The thrum of the engine below his bed helped somewhat, but some of the best sleeps he had on the ship were on the couch surrounded by his crewmates as they engaged in conversation. Sometimes they would lower their voices if they noticed him nodding off, but usually by then he was well on his way to a deep sleep.

Cere’s voice got louder in his ear, as though she leaned down to speak directly in his ear to wake him up. “Cal, we’re going to try moving you, ok? Greeze is almost here, he’s going to land as close as he can, but Merrin and I will still need to get you up.”

At some point Merrin’s hand had escaped his grasp and he found his hand flopped back into the mud in front of his face. Cal couldn’t think of when that might have happened. He must have fallen asleep without even realising.

He felt Merrins hands on him, one on his hip and the other looping under his arm from behind. In front Cere cradled a hand under his jaw and the other on his side and together they started to slowly roll him onto his back.

As soon as they did, pain shot through his rib cage and his jaw and eyes clenched shut with a strangled groan. He reflexively reached for his own chest, as if he could do anything to stop the pain or keep himself from falling apart. Someone was pushing his hair back from his forehead, gingerly avoiding the bacta patch and apologising in his ear. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Cal, but we need to keep going.”

Before he could protest he was being pulled into a seated position and from there his companions hooked one of his arms over each of their shoulders and hauled him to his feet. He choked on a scream, his chest felt like it was on fire and his head spun with every small movement. They barely made it three steps before it became too much and Cal felt himself slip off into the blackness.

#Thanks for the ask~!#Here's a thing I wrote #star wars jedi fallen order #cal kestis #cal kestis whump #whump fic #whump fanfic #fanfic #scheduled fic cause it was like 2 AM when I got it wrapped up and pasted in here #I will post it on Ao3 at some point too #and I did start writing this from Cere's point of view too but its not done and not quite as long either #lemme know if you'd want to see that too

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