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k9wa · 1 year

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𑣲 A GUY THAT I’D KIND OF BE INTO. featuring rindou haitani.

• SYNOPSIS : rindou, your friend since childhood, is listening to you vent your frustrations over some guy you’ve been silently crushing on and realizes holy shit—you’re talking about him.

• CONTENT : unreq love, mild angst, gn reader (“they” used like twice,) a bit dialogue heavy, might be a little ooc i've never written rindou before ...soz...

• NOTE : rindou baby im so sorry i did this to u. ib a bmc song because i have no hoes or something

rindou haitani had been your friend since you were both children.

you weren’t best friends by any means, but you’d gone to school together since your middle years, and those days upon days of having classes together or being seated next to one another had led to an inevitable friendship between the two of you. not that you were complaining, you liked having him around more than you thought you would.

it was only natural that once befriending rindou, you were introduced to his brother, ran, who was a year older than you. thus, the trio that was the haitani’s and their plus one was created.

rindou had always been the one you gravitated towards the most, maybe because you were the same age as him. he was the one you would find somewhere in the halls when you wanted to whine over homework or teachers when you were younger, which eventually blossomed into complaints over exams and college prep during lunch behind your highschool. you clicked with him easier, enjoyed his company when he was around and it was something he reciprocated.

of course you enjoyed being around ran as well, and the times where you three would be together as a group (which to be fair, was more often than not) were some of your favourite, you were never quite as close with him. it was likely due to his brother always stealing you away when he got the chance, and being the older one he saw the signs before they were even visible.

open scene to the aforementioned younger brother laying horizontally on your bed, mindlessly scrolling through his phone while you sat parallel at your desk, textbook and laptop long abandoned for playing with your pencil and leaning your head over the back of your chair.

get-togethers outside of school were a fairly fresh development in your friendship with rindou, only having started about halfway through your second year of highschool. rindou would still sometimes get a tad bit…awkward when he stepped into your home, and it never failed to make you chuckle.

“okay, spit it out already. fuck’s wrong?”

rindou’s voice cut through the silence draped over your room like a weighted blanket. he'd been watching you chew at your lips and listening to you tap that damn mechanical pencil against every surface within range, it got on his nerves.

truth be told, he was more nosey to know what you were visibly hung up on than anything.

“eh?”

you halted your fiddling, attention refocusing on rindou who had rolled onto his stomach, palm holding up the weight of his head from his chin while his elbow crushed one of your poor stuffed animals.

“y’look like someone just killed your puppy. and you’re doin’ that thing where you fidget with shit when you think.”

when had he gotten so observant of your nervous habits? you pouted.

“i don’t look like that.”

“you do.”

“do not.”

rindou stared at you, you stared at rindou.

it wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk to him about it. you told him quite a lot already, at least considering your friendship had always been primarily in school. what had you hesitating, thinking over your words and proceedings more carefully, was that he was directly involved with the very thing that had you so…squirmy.

rindou was quick to pick up on your reluctance. as much as he wanted to know what was going on in that head of yours, it's not as if he was gonna pry into it to see what was running on the hamster wheel he was sure you had in there.

“...uh, you don’t have t'a—”

“you’re gonna think it’s stupid.”

an unforgiving snort was all you got in response.

“you bein’ a dumbass isn’t exactly breaking news.”

“ill kill you, haitani.”

the tense eye contact— well, tense on your part— continued.

god, you hated how he was persuasive without even trying.

“okay, just listen, ya?”

his eyes followed as you stood from your desk chair and made your way over to the bed beside him. you flopped down tiredly, back against the mattress while your eyes traced the various posters on the ceiling, the shape of the windowsill towards your feet, generally anywhere that wasn’t in rindou’s direction.

“i’m listening.”

he watched you open and close your mouth like a fish out of water, waiting patiently (though it was a thin and fragile patience) for you to find the words to begin.

“so, imagine there this person,”

he nodded.

“and you’ve known them since you were kids,”

he nodded again.

“and you’ve never been like– crazy close with him, but you’ve always seen them as a friend regardless.”

rindou nodded again.

…him?

…oh.

he saw where you were going.

you hadn’t even realised you’d allowed the pronoun to slip, tossing all anonymity out the window and revealing that the troubles you were about to vent were actually over a guy.

but rindou did, and he couldn’t stop his tongue from running itself over his front teeth, licking them as he tasted an all too familiar flavour of bitterness on his taste buds.

rindou’s feelings towards you were complicated in their own way.

he was aware he had emotions regarding you that were, well, less than platonic. he was aware that it had started when you met in your second year of middle school, when he was seated beside you in history and you’d teased him for his coloured hair and offered to share your pack of chips with him in the same sentence. it wasn’t a jaw dropping first impression, not something outright unique or exceptional, but it stood out to rindou. you stood out to rindou.

he didn’t have plans to really… do anything about any of it though, it was always something he preferred to keep buried deep in the home you’d made yourself in his gut. he wasn’t even sure if he had the set of emotional skills to—

“you still following?”

rindou blinked. fuck, he wasn’t listening

“yeah, keep goin’.”

he’d just have to fill in the blanks.

“it’s like– i don’t even know when i started seeing him like that.”

you’d given up on the vagueness regarding the neutral pronoun you used prior.

“maybe it’s just ‘cus we’ve both gotten older?”

who were your other friends again? perhaps he could use the process of elimination to single out who you were talking about.

“any time we eat lunch together, or i pass him in the halls it…picks at my brain. dunno when it even started.”

rindou thought, shuffling through the filing cabinet of his memory to try and remember who your other friends were. but upon thinking about it, he hadn’t seen you eat lunch with anyone else outside of him and ran since you’d formed your little trio.

“we have gotten closer over the last couple months. maybe it’s something t’do with that.”

…and then he thought more.

who had you known since you were a kid, that you’d started growing closer with recently, who you also frequently ate lunch with and—

“it’s like he went from this guy that i’d never usually be into…”

oh shit—

“to this guy that i'd—like—kind of be into?”

were you talking about him?

he cursed the way he felt the smallest sliver of hope start to rise in his chest. it was coincidental, you had other friends, other people you’ve known for the amount of time you have him, he’d be grasping at the smallest of straws to think anything differently.

your eyes met his when you looked up expectantly for an answer.

“that is pretty fuckin’ stupid.”

typical rindou.

you smacked his bicep with the back of your palm, rindou snorted again.

it wouldn’t hurt to test the waters just a little bit, right? to see if his sneaking suspicion was correct?

“so, who’s this guy anyway?”

“pfft, like i’d ever tell you.”

it was rindou’s turn to smack you, he was rewarded with the sound of your laugh falling on his ears.

“so yer’ gonna talk my ear off and then not even tell me who the fucker is? you’re lame.”

“you wanted to know what was wrong!”

mission failed.

the room fell into a silence, not quite awkward, yet not quite comfortable, just calm. rindou didn’t know how to push the subject any further without either giving himself away entirely or coming off as some nosey freak, so he begrudgingly decided he was better off to try and drop it entirely.

“do you think it’d be worth it to tell him?”

you were the one breaking the quiet this time around. rindou sighed and dropped his head, his face meeting the crinkles of fabric in your duvet.

“fuck if i know.”

“cmon, help me out here.”

“it'd help if i knew who the hell you’re talkin’ about.”

“you seriously haven’t figured it out?”

those words made rindou's witty response catch in his tonsils. the more you went on, the more the little voice in his head said: ‘thats me, they’re talking about me, they have to be,’ the more you went on the greater the need to know if you were really talking about him inflated and grew.

“…why don’t you just tell ‘em if it’s such a pain in your ass?”

you hummed.

“i don’t wanna jeopardise our friendship, i guess. i like having him around too much.”

rindou lifted his head in time to catch a glimpse of the warm smile dawning on your lips.

“that's why i'm asking you. do you think the risk is worth it?”

yes, rindou thought. for fucks sake, take the risk, he wanted to scream it as loud as he could.

“sounds like it.” he began slowly, swallowing a breath. “think i know who you’re talkin’ about now too.”

“it's about time.”

his chin returned to his palm.

“wanna hear you say it, though.”

you groaned, mimicking his position by rolling into your stomach as well, the two of you laying shoulder to shoulder. rindou could feel the knot in his stomach tighten.

“you’re an ass.” the cow plush you’d hidden your face into absorbed your words. you supposed it was harmless to tell him at the point you’d gotten to. the proverbial cat was proudly sunning itself in the windowsill, there was zero chance he didn’t know who you were talking about. he was pulling your leg the same way he always did. teasing you.

“fine.”

rindou couldn’t control the way his palms began to sweat, directly contrasting his feeling of…cockiness? certainty? whatever the better term was, he could feel it deep in his chest, threatening to push past his ribs.

“i'm talking about…”

he waited, listened to you huff, listened to you swallow to try and shove down your doubts, watched your fingers play with the tag of your stuffed animal, he knew the word that would come next;

‘you.’

“ran.”

exactly as he—

…what?

…you—

…you had a thing for ran?

if you had looked up at all, decided to remove your face from the cow print protecting you from what you assumed was some kind of shit eating grin, you would have seen the way rindou’s face drained of all colour.

rindou couldn’t speak, he couldn’t do anything.

he felt like such a fucking idiot.

of course it’s ran, he thought.

why wouldn’t it be ran?

it's always ran.

your room began to feel like it was shrinking around him, like it was suffocating him just being there. he became so hyper aware of your shoulder pressed against his, the smell of you overtaking his senses in a way he never thought he would hate as much as he did.

where you expected teasing, and rindou’s jokes, you were met with…nothing. a heavy stillness that could be felt in your bones. was he… upset? you didn’t know, your eyes were still harboured safely in your plush. now that you think about it, it was a gift he had gotten you.

you hadn’t wanted to tell him originally because you assumed it would piss him off, for the sake of possibly screwing things up between the three of you, or maybe because he wouldn’t want to be a third wheel or— or something. what you didn’t expect from rindou was the absence of a response entirely.

finally there's some sort of feedback from rindou, a reminder of life that he’s still there beside you, but it’s the opposite of anything you could have hoped for. the weight to your right moves around, until it's removed from your bed wholly, and it finally prompts you to raise your head.

“rin?”

he doesn’t answer you, but you can hear him mutter ‘fuck this’ under his breath as he picks his bag up from your floor, fishing for his keys in his uniform pocket.

“rin, hang on a sec—“

he’s already in the hallway before you can stop him, the only option was to get up and follow him out, and that you did. you’re practically tripping down the stairs to catch up to him, too bad he was already out your front door, mounting his bike and letting the engine roar to life once you’d finally done it.

“rindou!!” you attempt to shout over the purr of his exhaust from your front door.

he's already gone, speeding away down your street and right out of your fingertips. it isn’t until he’s too far out of sight to see, to reach, to touch, you put the pieces together and understand his reaction, why he was so eager to leave.

you fucked up.

rindou doesn’t know whether he’s fuming or he’s hurt, whether he’s disappointed in you or himself, whether he’s even able to blame anyone for this, just to give him a reason to fault anyone but himself.

the sound of cars passing him, or rather him passing them filled his hearing, the city lights of roppongi reflected off of his glasses and into his pupils, he could still smell you on his jacket; you were burned into it, left some sort of mark on it from all the times you’d held onto him while he drove you home. it made him so fucking nauseous.

he can feel his phone vibrating against his thigh, he knows it’s you. he truly considered just tossing his phone over the railing of the highway to get you away from him, out of his head.

it was always fucking ran.

rindou haitani could never hate his brother, despite his occasional admitance to disliking him. they were brothers, that's just how brothers were.

despite the bumps in the road, or people who didn’t see their relationship for what it was, they were brothers, they always would be.

in spite of that sentiment, rindou couldn’t bring himself to look his older brother in the eye upon arriving home that night.

when he finally entered the safety of his bedroom, rindou freed his phone from the pocket of his uniform pants he’d yet to change.

his screen was flooded with notifications, the contact name ‘+one’ written on over half of them.

he skimmed through the messages, the quiet clicking sounds from his keyboard filling the room, the messages all consisted of some sort of ‘im sorry’ or ‘i didn't know—‘ he skipped those ones, ‘pls just answer’ there was an abundance of missed calls alongside them. he turned off his phone completely.

was the chip on his shoulder deep enough to be considered a gash yet?

it was always ran.

⠀ 𑣲 MASTERLIST / GOT A REQUEST ?

#literally what is a rindou #rindou haitani #ran haitani #rindou x reader #ran x reader #haitani brothers #haitani x reader #rindou angst #rindou fluff #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo rev #tokyo rev imagine #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fanfiction #haitani rindou imagines #UNEARTHLY

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mellowwillowy · 1 year

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Pet (Kakegurui AU)

Yan!Childe with childhood friend fem reader

Pet play, manipulative Childe, idk if I should tag corruption since Childe didn't really enter you(?), 50% plot 50% lemon (HAHAHA), depressed reader (suicide thoughts), life schedule, reader is called as sister, mentions of past relationships in the end

If you are not familiar with Kakegurui then it's basically... gambling *peaces out*

"Hee, I didn't expect you to be here at all sis~"

Childe says as he playfully traces his finger over your Mitten tags. Ajax, your childhood friend is now one of the members of the student council? You are not sure if you really want to know what power he has in his grasp.

"Let me guess, you failed to pay up during fund collections right?" The Ajax you remember used to be a shy boy that is scared of almost everything. His current smile can be compared to the current toothy smile he used to give you although there seems to be something unhinged from it. His eyes seem to contribute most of it, you guess. You shouldn't have left that day maybe? Maybe that way he'll help you out right now?

"Don't look at me like that sis~ I'm just guessing given how you don't look like someone who indulges yourself in gambling"

You look away from Childe. Perhaps you should have played with the other students when you have the money and chance to? Even if you have the money right now, who can guarantee they won't use this Mitten tag? You grip your tag tightly, knuckles turning white at the thought of how low you've fallen. Should you ask him to help you? You two have a good history after all...

"Ajax... I..."

"Hmmm~?"

Childe cocks his head to the side, his eyes never leaving yours. Should you really ask for his help? To someone who has grudges against you? You shake your head before bowing down to him, muttering a small apology before walking away from him. Something feels wrong and you're not going to take any risks by involving yourself with a member of the student council.

----

You are currently hiding in one of the academy's most hidden and unattended spots. This garden has always been empty which makes it a perfect spot for you to hide from everyone. Maybe you'll survive in your school days by hiding away from people? The debts increase with each funds collection and game the students proposed to you forcefully to the point that a life schedule has been given to you.

You dare not read the life schedule. You wonder what kind of disturbing things are written inside. You've heard from people how their life schedule has trampled down every aspect of their life. And now, you are one of them.

You sob to yourself, hiding your face from the sun ray as you ponder what you should do now. To follow all that is written in the life schedule or to find a way out now even if it'll only throw you down into another rabbit hole.

"It's not rare for the life schedule to ask you to become a prostitute even if your face is mid-good you know~"

You jump up from the voice. A familiar voice with a hint of... playfulness? You look up and find the source, Childe. You shake your head in disbelief, you know that the schedule probably asks you to become one even if it's not directly stated. The last sugar-coated statement it'll give you would be a 'marriage' with someone who'll gladly wash away your debts in exchange for you.

Childe smiles at you before patting your head while giving you words of reassurance, contrary to you, his hand is warm with affection but you can feel him shaking a bit just like you. You look up at him and shoot him a questioning look,

"Ajax, why are you shaking?"

Childe was startled for a while before bursting into laughter, saying how random and straightforward you are as a person. You couldn't comprehend what he means and only look away with red washing your face. Are you not supposed to ask him why?

Childe looks at your curling form, as round and small as a hamster. How does it feel to hold you up like a hamster? To place you inside a cage and provide everything you need. An adorable and comfortable cage home, endless stock of food and water, countless toys for you to play with and-

"Ajax, I feel like things would be better if I disappear right now..."

Childe's eyes widen at your statement. This is bad. You can just disappear without a worry in this world because you are an orphan, no one is bound with you and no one is dragged down with you. If only there was still someone who's somehow related to you then you'll have to think twice about everything. But your only supposedly family had been left rotten under the snow.

"Hey hey, come one now. What will be left of me if you were to disappear?"

You look up at him again, his eyes are empty as usual although this time hints of fear and anger are evident in his eyes. But why? You shift your gaze to the sky, engraving the beauty into your memories. Maybe you'll jump down facing toward the sky instead of drinking some candies?

"I won't allow that"

Oh, did you say it out loud? Childe's face looks so much in pain now. Do you matter to him that much to the point he's really upset with you? Childe crouches in front of you, his form blocking the view of the sky. With a shaky hand, he cups your face gently, his thumb circling your cheek as though trying to calm you down.

"I'll help you out"

He'll help you out? He'll save you? Childe takes the life schedule and keeps it inside his blazer while muttering out endless reassurance for you.

"While I can't just sweep your debts away, I can... show to everyone that you are in fact, mine"

"But... how?"

Childe smiles at you again, his eyes glinting in excitement this time.

----

The collar is not tight but it's not loose as well. With every move you make, the chains will dangle as Childe holds the leash with pride. On the other hand, you are trying your best to cover your face with your hair, is this supposed to be a way to save you or humiliate you? Your hands gripping the hem of your skirt tightly, your lip bleeding from the amount of strength you've bitten it.

Is this the right thing to do? Childe did say something about showing them who you belong to will scare the other students from toying with you. You figure that this is probably some kind of public announcement that you are his now although you are not sure if all the students really understand it. What would happen to those who didn't get the hint? Well, they are in fact out of a sudden, lost in a big game and a fido or mitten tag is on their neck now.

You look up toward Childe, his smile never leaving his face as he walks with you in pride.

----

"I demand... a public match... with you!"

Your voice booms as you glare at Childe with your mitten tag in your hand. While Childe enjoys gambling, the last thing he could think of would be you demanding a public match with him. Don't get him wrong though, he loves the idea of gambling with you, in fact, he's actually aching for it. Will it be a game of luck, bluff, or skill?

But why so sudden?

He examines his surroundings, and there he sees familiar figures, Rosalyne and Zhongli. What are they planning? Doesn't matter, at least for now. Either way, he has to accept your request although feeling a bit bitter about the fact that you've been deceived by them to turn against him.

"Then shall we play like the old times, Sister?"

Childe's smile reaches his eyes for the first time.

----

"Ahh~ it's a shame you lost Sis~"

Childe's hands are on your tense shoulder while you shudder in disbelief. You lost? You lost despite cheating your whole way during the game? There's only 1 possibility for this and that is Childe figuring out the cheats earlier than you expected and using it on his own. And yet those student councils said-!

"Sister~ it's time for you to pay up"

Childe yanks your face toward him by your cheek while cooing at you. His finger occasionally taps your cheek as his eyes bore into yours. The grip on your face starts to feel painful with each second you leave him unanswered. It doesn't take long until Childe lets go of you and wrap the collar back on your neck, tugging you up with the chain leash. He tugs it strongly, strong enough to make you fall from your seat.

"Doesn't matter, I'll still be the one who sweeps your debts away anyway"

You look up at him from the floor with a puzzled look on your face. What did he just say?

"Ah, right"

Childe takes a book out of his blazer, your... life schedule? Childe crouches down at your eye level as he opens the first few pages of the book before placing it in front of your face, allowing you to read it for the first time.

You should have read it that day.

"Do you understand it now, Sister? The moment you failed to pay, the moment I saw you, the moment you stepped into this academy, your whole life is all mine to claim and plan already~"

For the first time, the chains on your collar feel way too heavy for you.

----

You've lost your mitten tag but the collar remains there. You are not sure if it's actually to warn people or to just show people off that you, in fact, are claimed already. You scoff to yourself, it's definitely the second. Who in their sane mind doesn't know about your public match with him and how you lost terribly. How you lost everything the moment you stepped into this academy. The public match was nothing but just a pastime for him.

The life schedule contents, on the other hand, are filled with Childe's names, from the beginning until the end.

Marriage, career, children, preferences, everything. Should you be grateful that the person you've been sold to is Childe himself and not someone else? The person who you'll spend the rest of your life would be him. The person who you'll share your bed with is him. The person who you'll create a family with would be him despite not wanting one. The person who your children will call father would be him. Him. Him. Him. You bring your hand to your mouth, your throat and guts itching for vomit. Your little Ajax has tricked you.

----

(NSFW, MDNI *doubt*)

"They tricked you into having a public match with me"

He tricked you, not them.

"And you just agreed with it"

Why wouldn't you when you finally learn about how he's the one who has been pulling all the strings?

"They are pulling strings behind my back"

He is pulling strings behind your back, reducing you into nothing but a puppet.

"They are targetting the president by making the housepets gamble with all the student councils at the same time"

And they failed, horribly.

"Signora was not a part of it so there's nothing I can do about her"

The woman who whispers endless encouragement for you to take him.

"But Zhongli... I have to be certain to blow him fatally. For going against the president despite being a member of the student council..."

Childe leans toward you, his face barely away from yours before he licks your lip.

"And for making my beloved Sister go against me"

That is your last straw before you slap him, his face thrown to the other side, savoring every moment of the pain on his cheek.

"I'm not... your Sister... nor your friend!"

You yell at him hysterically. Childe only chuckles at you before making his advances on you, his lips crashing with yours. You try your best to not give in and open up but the way Childe nibbles with your lip and how his hands travel all across your body makes you give in to him in the end. In the end, you give in and let him in, savoring every inch of your mouth as his hands work with your uniform. No matter how many times you hit his chest, pull his hair, kicking him, he won't budge. Instead, he takes pleasure in having you struggling under him. His hands travel down to your skirt, caressing your thigh in a circular motion before cupping your heat. You know where this is going and your tears start to flow down from your eyes as you shake your head while begging him to stop.

"Mmh, not gonna. If you are no longer my Sister nor my friend then that'll only mean one thing, you are my pet"

Childe tugs you by the collar before biting your exposed clavicle, littering it with bite marks.

"I doubt you are ready to abandon your pride to become my Sister again hm? If so then allow me to treat you like how I would to a pet"

Childe starts off easy and gentle, rubbing your clit over and over while he undresses you. You try your best to contain your moans, familiar but unfamiliar with the sensations. It doesn't take long for you to drench your panties and stocking, tempting Childe to rip it and put your panties aside. You gasp at Childe's finger entering you, familiarizing itself with your gummy walls.

"Mmh, so tight. Say, have you ever touched yourself pet?"

Coos Childe as another finger enters you, the stretch isn't as painful as you expected because Childe makes sure that you are wet enough for him to enter you. His tongue dances from your jaw toward your ear, nibbling it like how one would with candy. His fingers curl knuckles deep inside you, feeling something blocking him he knows what he has to do now.

"So it really is your first time..." he mumbles to himself before retreating his fingers. What you expected to be a break for you was cut short when he starts abusing your clit. He doesn't want your first time to be like this but he doesn't feel like leaving you unattended as well. You lean onto Childe's chest as his fingers move at a crazy speed, your stomach filled with butterflies while your moans slip out from your throat. Childe's cock twitches at how your hands hold him in place tightly as your support, he didn't expect you to abandon some of your pride and cling to him for a false sense of security. It only makes Childe even happier as his fingers now tease you in a circular motion while nipping your neck, leaving hickeys and bite marks here and there.

"Toi.. toilet, toilet, Ajax, I-"

"Toilet hm? Ah, it's okay, just do it here. As an owner, I'll clean up your mess later hm? Aren't I a good owner?"

Childe finds it adorable how you are not aware of the fact that you are in fact squirting right now. He'll make sure to use this to his advantage before you finally know what's going on with you. Your eyes roll back as you moan out loudly, your toes curling while your hands never let go of Childe.

"Mmh, good girl good girl, you've done well hm? Look at all the mess you've done too"

You look down at the puddle below you, ashamed, you bury your face into his chest whether you like it or not. Childe slides his pants down, his boxer showing a huge bulge restrained under the fabric. Childe slides his boxer down and his cock springs out immediately, making you flinch at the sight. That, entering you? That large, veiny thing? You look at Childe in horror as you let go of him. Seeing this, Childe's hand yank your hands back and place it on his chest,

"We won't, we won't~ I prefer doing it somewhere much more romantic although I can't help but show you what this little guy can do"

He starts by collecting the precum on the tip before spreading it all over his shaft. You try to look away but Childe's hand says otherwise, forcing you to watch him pump himself as his grip on your jaw tightens every time you try to look away from it or shut your eyes close. Every now and then, he'll kiss you or touch you again.

"Haah.. how do you think... this will enter you? Stretching you... ripping you apart from the inside... your blood... on me... on the bedsheet..."

Even when chasing his high, he still manages to make you squirm in embarrassment from all the details. His tip looks painfully red now while his thighs start to spasm. What surprises you is how Childe places your hand on top of his red tip as he strokes himself even faster. You try to pull away but his hand won't allow you to as he tightens his grip on your hand, making you cup his tip.

"Com- coming, coming- ah!"

And that's all you get as a warning before he spurts out all over your palm, his mouth wide open as his eyes and head roll back. Your face flushes red as he lets go of your hand, letting you observe how he has tainted your hand.

"Hehe, I'll make sure to book a room for us two soon, pet"

Right, you are no longer his Sister nor his friend. Until you are finally ready to abandon your pride, he'll be treating you like a pet. The collar and leash's chain serve as a reminder. A pet.

"I love you... ,______"

Another kiss to seal your fate.

(Yeah I'm using a Kakegurui Futago ref here)

____

Grudge

"Where is Sister?"

Childe asked his mother. His mother only looked away from him while ushering him to sit down. Childe's eyes roam around the whole room, looking for you.

He couldn't find you.

"...her butler... came and took her away when you were missing"

Childe's heart dropped. You left him. You left him while he was trying his best to survive the abyss? You left him despite him begging for you to stay? He was only gone for 3 days and you couldn't even wait to properly bid farewell to him?

"The butler said that something urgent came up"

Is it truly that urgent to steal you away from him?

"That she is in danger..."

He was the one who's in danger and not you.

"That someone might... "

Kill you? As much as he hates you leaving him without any farewell, he'd rather have your butler killed instead of you.

And she was. As a result of it, you had to stand all by yourself without anyone guiding and protecting you anymore.

An orphan without anyone as your guardian.

Possible scenario

_____

OCs Note: Zili couldn't find you in this world after she was resurrected so yeah, you are pretty much an orphan without a guardian.

#yandere fatui #yandere childe #yandere childe x reader #childe x y/n #childe #childe x reader smut #childe x reader #childe smut #tartaglia #genshin kakegurui au #genshin x reader #fatui x reader #fatui #kakegurui au

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ghostlygeto · 1 year

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pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x fem!reader

warnings: mentions nsfw things (“suggestive”?), so MDNI, mentions the same dildo from the last scenario lol, reader nd sakusa are drinking, first kiss moment, i dunno. same universe as the last sakusa thing i posted (shocked pikachu emoji), omi kind of pines hella hard

wc: 1.5k

“you should tell me a secret about yourself, kiyoomi,” his first name rolled off your tongue as if it lived there, you couldn’t remember the last time you had called him anything else. “and it has to be a real one, not something stupid!” you laughed slightly and took another drink of whatever alcohol the two of you had been sharing for the night.

“don’t you have to tell me a secret about yourself as well, then?” sakusa asked. he was thankful that his cheeks were already tinted pink from the alcohol, he didn’t have to worry about you noticing his blush from the use of his first name. “it’s only fair isn’t it?”

“you already know a big secret about me,” you remind him, rolling your eyes as he raised his eyebrows as if asking what secret. “remember? ‘tsumu doesn’t so lovingly call me dildo girl for no reason.”

“oh.” was all sakusa managed to get out, somehow forgetting about the incident that brought you two together in the first place. “but that can’t count, everyone masturbates, y/n. it’s normal.”

“but you saw the dildo! with your eyes! and according to ‘tsumu he like, swung it around and stuff!” you shouted playfully, cheeks and ears flushing red at the memory, “i still haven’t used it. and it was expensive, too. you guys should feel bad.”

“i don’t have to feel bad for anything,” sakusa shook his head, finishing his drink before grabbing both of you another one, “i didn’t do anything. i told him not to open the box.”

you huffed, grabbing the drink from sakusa (who kindly opened it for you, since you always struggled to on your own) before taking a big sip of it. “you should, i asked you to get the package and protect it with your life. you did not do that.”

sakusa laughed, not just a small chuckle but a real, genuine laugh. sometimes he felt like you were the only person that could get those out of him. “i don’t think you asked me to protect it with my life, but whatever helps you sleep at night i suppose. i’m sorry i didn’t protect your precious package with my life,”

this was probably your favorite side to kiyoomi. the alcohol in his system made him more laid back than usual, he’d feel comfortable laying his legs across your lap or draping his arm across the top edge of the couch, his hand barely ghosting your shoulder. plus he laughed a lot. little giggles, chuckles, and sometimes full blown belly laughs. he was a completely different person with you (and with the alcohol).

“so what’s your secret?” you ask, shoving his shoulder, “tell me a secret, kiyo. i want to know everything about you.”

something in your words gave him butterflies. everything about him? he wondered if you really meant that, if you wanted to know all the reasons he is the way he is, the color of his childhood bedroom or the name of his pet hamster when he was seven. or if you just wanted to know the things that all the other women wanted to know about him. his workout routine or how many women he’s slept with or how long his-

“kiyo,” you called him out of his thoughts, a concerned look on your face, “y’know if you keep your brow scrunched like that all the time you’re going to get wrinkles. and then girls wouldn’t find you as pretty anymore. are you gonna tell me a secret or do i need to kick you out of my apartment?”

“maybe i should keep doing it then, i don’t need women to find me attractive.” sakusa rolled his eyes, but thought for a second about a secret to tell you. he thought it only fair to tell you one equally as embarrassing as yours (even though yours was mostly funny and not really embarrassing). “i’ve never been kissed before.”

you tried to hide the shocked look on your face, “what? never? like not even once when you were a kid as a dare or something?” you didn’t mean to make him feel bad, but somehow you couldn’t believe a man as attractive as kiyoomi would have never have kissed someone before. “why not?”

“i was never interested in it,” he shrugged, taking another sip from the bottle in his hand, “and i’ve never met anyone worth wanting to kiss, y’know?” he didn’t ignore the shocked look on your face, giving you a small laugh in response. “you’re surprised, knowing what you know about me and you’re surprised i’ve never kissed anyone before?”

“i think it’s more surprising to hear you say you’ve never met anyone worth kissing before. i mean, you see bokuto, hinata and ‘tsumu on the daily. if i got to see them i’d want to kiss one of them for sure.” you teased, “maybe you just don’t like girls?”

“i’d die before kissing any of them, especially atsumu,” sakusa shuddered before shaking his head at you, “i know that i like women, y/n. it’s just a matter of finding the one that doesn’t disgust me.” he hesitated for a moment before sighing, “and it’s hard to find someone that wants to know me. not sakusa of msby, but me. like…”

“someone who wants to know kiyoomi,” you finished his sentence. you didn’t know how to tell him that’s how you wanted to know him. you wanted to know kiyoomi, not sakusa. and to an extent you do know kiyoomi, you’re one of the few people he’d ever let see him like this. but you still worried that he’d never fully open up to you. why did you deserve to know him like that? just because you’re his neighbor?

“right, someone who wants to know kiyoomi.” sakusa’s eyes fell to you, and you pretended to not feel his stare. “but how do i trust that the people i’m surrounding myself with want to know me? and not him.” it was a genuine question, sakusa didn’t know how to tell the difference between the two. that’s why he didn’t have any friends outside of the volleyball team.

and you.

“what about me?” you asked, eyes meeting his. if it weren’t for the alcohol in your system you likely wouldn’t be so bold, “do you trust me?”

with everything. he wanted to tell you, though thankfully he had enough control over his drunken words not to. “i do.”

“do i disgust you?”

“not even a little.”

he hadn’t realized it before, but sometime between him confessing about never having kissed someone before and right now, your faces had gotten much closer. he wasn’t sure he had ever been close to someone like this before, aside from maybe the one time atsumu got far too drunk and tried to kiss him (it took days for sakusa to feel clean afterwards). but this was different. it felt different, he didn’t mind being this close to you. nor did he care that he could feel your alcohol ridden breath on his face with every rise and fall of your chest.

“kiyoomi?”

“yes y/n?”

“can i be your first kiss?”

sakusa answered by closing the distance between the two of you, unsure of what to do when your lips had actually connected. his eyes were closed, he knew that much, but what was he supposed to do with his hands? was he supposed to move his head at all?

“kiyo, you can breathe,” you laughed as you pulled away, a smile spread across your face. “you’re as stiff as a board, if you’re going to be kissing women you need to learn to be a little looser.”

sakusa knew you wanted to know everything about kiyoomi, not sakusa. “i’m not going to be kissing women.” he grinned, leaning away from you now. “i think i need to be a little more drunk, though.” he tried standing up but you stopped him.

“more drunk? kiyoomi i think you’re plenty drunk,” you giggled, holding onto his wrist, trying to tug him back down onto your couch, “drunk enough to kiss me, that is.”

sakusa wanted to tell you that he didn’t need to be drunk to kiss you, it just made it easier. but he didn’t, he just sat back down next to you and turned his attention to the tv. “was i bad at it?”

“kissing?” you giggled again, “it wasn’t the worst first kiss i’ve ever had.” you shrugged, tracing the outline of his side profile with your eyes. you were pretty sure if angels existed on earth, kiyoomi would be one of them. “what did you think of it?”

“well i don’t have anything to compare it to,” he replied, “so i think it was nice.” sakusa didn’t know how to tell you the only reason it was nice was because it was with you.

not pictured: atsumu spamming you with snaps the next morning, freaking out over the fact that you sent him a video of you and kiyoomi kissing (you had to beg him not to mention it to omi)

reblogs, comments, nd likes appreciated ;3

#sakusa kiyoomi fluff #sakusa kiyoomi #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #selfship: kiyori #sakusa kiyoomi x reader

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rocknluvy · 1 year

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dead poets and pets headcanons! their childhood/family pets, favourite animals, and what pets i think they would actually 'end up' with

neil perry

have you seen thomas perry? have you heard him speak? neil did not have a childhood pet. i think he really wanted a dog as a kid, but after a while of his father refusing, he would resort to asking for a fish or a hamster. his father's answer did not change absolutely adores the welton dog and always tries to sneak him treats and headpats and hugs and kisses and- he's just full of love yk he also seems like a fan of rodents? like guinea pig, hamsters and such,, he absolutely gets a dog after welton [more in todd's section]

todd anderson

the andersons bought jeffrey a cat for his fourteenth birthday it's a korat, his name is benjamin and he's a huge jerk -to everyone but todd. so it's more of todd's cat than anyone else's. todd loves cats overall, he enjoys how they just are, and finds their presence calming. once he moves out he takes benjamin with him and literally no one tries to fight him on this. also i think later in life he and neil would get a therapy dog to help todd deal with his anxiety, and neil with his trauma/depression. every once in a while one of the poets might feel down too, and todd's more than happy to let them 'borrow' the dog i feel like he would find arachnids fun, but his parents find them gross, and neil's is afrad of them, so he wouldn't ever have one

knox overstreet

idk why, but overstreets just feel like a crusty white dog named coco family. also his younger sisters have a rabbit! also i think him and charlie both used to do horseback riding as kids, as some sort of summer extracurricular?? anyways, yes, his family bought him a horse,, which is a totally standard thing to buy your child. he's not all that into horseback riding anymore and would let his siblings have the horse knox definitely loves dogs, and would have a golden retriver methinks just has that vibe

charlie dalton

his family have a bengal cat which he loves. he manhandles the shit out of that bastard and the cat doesn't really mind. the cat's name is orion, but really? it's Bastard. also his family owns horses and there's at least one that charlie dumbass-proofed (basically got it used to tolerating him as he does increasingly dangerous things around it) (idk if that's actually possible, i don't know anything about horses other than they look kinda cool) (idk why but the visual of charlie riding a horse like a skateboard cannot escape my mind i simply had to share). definitely a dog person, though he doesn't strike me as a guy that would actually have a dog? at least just on his own, he could have one with someone (a bf maybe? a bf named steven meeks even?,) he loves dogs, but having a whole creature depending solely on him is not a good idea.

gerard pitts

dog person. obviously he just seems like a guy that would enjoy going on long runs it's bc he's tall with long legs and what can make a run better? a dog he had a childhood dog that was already pretty old when he was born.. anyways! they got a him a german shorthair to celebrate him graduating middle school totally not bc he was heartbroken he probably wouldn't try and relocate the dog once he moves out just to not stress him out he might get a turtle though, he looks like a turtle guy

steven meeks

meeks' family has a miniature poodle. she's very well trained and steven deff treats her very politely. like- 'hello, would you like a treat, ma'am? of course, just do a spin first please?,, there you go, thank you :)' <- no babytalk or anything like that, he seems like a guy who just talks to animals like they're human all the time overall, but he's extra polite to her he feels like a,, calm dog person. like he enjoys their energy and likes having an excitible furry friend, but doesn't run around them or like match their general chaoticness also i feel he might get a gecko <3 just a lil' guy to sit on his shoulder while he studies/works <3

richard cameron

my lifelong hc for cameron's family is that he has some grandparents and cousins living on a farm, that he spends half of every summer with, doing typical farm things,, like caring for farm animals,, like cows,, and with that comes 'cow person' cameron headcanon he has his favourite in the herd for sure that he's just best friends with :) she has huge eyes and she listens to him rant, she's the best obviously one cannot simply own a cow as a pet, and since they're his favs he would probably opt out to not have any pets. scratch that i just thought about him having a chicken as a pet and am endlessly amused by it. he has a pet chicken

#dead poets society #dead poets fandom #dead poets headcanons #neil perry #todd anderson #knox overstreet #charlie dalton #steven meeks #richard cameron #anderperry #neil x todd #meeks x charlie #dalmeeks #starlie #mazzy.txt #live now

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isara0408 · 3 months

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Megami and Kaga had a lot of potential than just being Kaga stalking Megami and pretty much being her stalker/creep that Yandere Dev made himself.

Instead of that, why didn't Yandere Dev make them childhood friends? Kaga's parents work in Saikou Corp. I'm sure Kaga would have met Megami during his youth whenever Megami had to leave the Corporation for her training, so why didn't he chose that path for them and have Kaga be the first male that Megami trusted? Kaga fits the criteria that the Saikou family is looking for (sure, he's at the bottom of the list, but he's there)

Kaga is quite intelligent and very talented at a very young age. Maybe if Saisho was able to see that, maybe he would have wanted Kaga close to Megami.

"If this boy is close to Megami and Megami trusts this boy, he can be a useful tool for Saikou Corp in the future."

Ichirou doesn't go against his father's decision. He never really argues with him either, so Ichirou has to follow his father's orders on keeping Kaga close to Megami. They will have to keep a close eye on him. If he ever did find out the dark secrets of Saikou Corp, Kaga would be killed by the orders of Saisho. (Just like Saisho did with Fungirl, but actually killed him rather than using a machine)

Saisho would keep a close eye on the two children whenever they were close to each other or hanging out.

Megami and Kaga begin to talk almost every day, which Saisho allowed. As time went on, the two became very close friends. Kaga was there for Megami whenever she needed him, and Megami was there for Kaga whenever he needed her.

The two continued to stick by each other's side throughout their years. Even after Saisho died, Megami made sure that Kaga stayed by her side if Ichirou had ever tried to separate and break their friendship, or if Kencho ever tried to set a trap to break their friendship.

Kaga would be a threat to Ayano if she killed him before and during Megami's week. Even if Kaga is her suitor, Kaga is someone important to Megami. If Megami loses him, who knows what she will do to put Ayano behind bars for his death.

So, let me give you guys some headcanons for this universe :>

They first met when they were 5.

Megami was quite distant at first because of how strict her family was until Saisho, himself, allowed her to see him and hang out with him.

Kaga was there for her during the tragic event of her murdering her hamster. (Megami's mother sneaked him inside) That day, Kaga promised her that they'll buy a hamster and take care of it together when they got older.

On her 13th birthday, Kaga made her a bracelet with his own hands to represent their friendship. He made one for himself, too. (And Aoi once she came into the picture) Megami hides her bracelet under her sleeves of her student council uniform.

Aoi and Kaga didn't get along well at first, but they slowly got close to each other and became friends. (Kaga is still scared of her)

Megami was slightly shorter than Kaga when they were children, but during the years and puberty, Megami grew taller.

Kaga would show Megami his new gadgets, invention ideas, etc. Megami would sometimes help him with building those inventions/gadgets (with a lot of protection, of course). That's how her love for science became.

Megami has a small robot that Kaga made himself and gave it to her to keep her company when they first met. She still has it in her room.

Megami forced Kaga to take self-defense classes. (It didn't end very well)

Kaga is basically Megami's cheerleader. He will cheer for her as much as possible to show that he is by her side and she can count on him.

Whenever Kaga gets hurt by an experiment, Megami will immediately take him to the best hospital in Japan and would be there for him unless she had training to do.

Kaga's parents feel uneasy having Megami close to their son. They know how strict the Saikou family is. They don't want their son harmed in any way. With time, they began to trust Megami. (Only her)

Once they enter Akademi, they are known as powerful friendship. The daughter of the richest and most powerful man in Japan and a mad scientist who is very talented and made the impossible possible. together? Power duo!

Megami has witnessed many competitions that Kaga has been in and won first place for. She tries to be there with her bodyguards and would take Kaga out to celebrate for his accomplishments with the permission of his parents, of course.

Whenever Kaga did his crazy smile or laugh when he got a new idea in his mind, Megami would smack him (gently) to make him quit, or shaking her head and say, "No."

Megami only lets Kaga show her affection (holding her hand, pecking her cheek, hugging her, etc). It makes him happy, and the way he shows love.

Kaga's parents sometimes tease Kaga about, one day, ending up liking Megami as more than a childhood friend. Kaga rejects this every time (but they were right in the end)

Kaga ended up catching feelings for Megami when they entered Akademi. At first, Kaga was confused at first on how his body was reacting to having Megami close to him or showing her affection, which is something he always did. Kaga never fell in love with anyone or saw anyone in a romantic way, so it was all new to him. With time, Kaga finally admitted that he caught feelings for his childhood friend. (His parents had a nice " I told you so." victory 😌)

Megami caught on to this. She's not blind. It's quite obvious from Kaga's body language.

Kaga never had the courage to confess because of many guys trying to win Megami's hand in marriage until the last year of Akademi, that's when he confessed his feelings to her under the cherry tree.

Megami did develop feelings for Kaga, but it took her more time to realize those buried feelings.

Kaga admires Megami a lot for her achievements, bravery, determination, and her hard work.

Megami would carry Kaga if he was ever too fatigued to move (after not resting for a certain number of days). Kaga found it annoying at first but got used to it.

Whenever Megami has free time (it's rare), Kaga would use this opportunity to go to the town with Megami to spend time together as much as they can.

Kaga would protect Megami from any guy who would flirt with her or look at her inappropriately. Megami would tell him to let her handle it and to calm down.

Megami is brutally honest with Kaga even if it hurts his feelings. She will say what she thinks and feels. (This is a headcanon I have as them as a couple )

If Kaga is killed, Megami will make sure to put Ayano behind bars. She knows she did it. After that, she will mourn for Kaga's death.

If Megami is killed, Kaga will find the person who caused her death and mourn for Megami's death.

This is probably something that would happen in another timeline not in the canon one, but it's a nice idea and interesting friendship :D

#kaga kusha #yandere #yandere simulator #yanderesim #megami saikou #saikou #kaga x megami #megami x kaga #timeline #universe #best friends #besties✨️#childhoodfriends #yanderesimidea #saisho saikou #kencho saikou #ichirou saikou #tsuma saikou #fungirl

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traumasurvivorsactivities · 2 years

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Skills Activity (ACCEPTS)

While DBT is often referenced for BPD, I think a lot of the skills are useful for almost anyone, so this activity is going to be focused on the ACCEPTS skill and coming up with a plan for a future circumstance. This skill is useful in times of emotional crisis where you may need a distraction to get through.

The goal is to answer the questions in italics when you're calm so that you can look through the list in a time of need (usually a time when you need a distraction) which is why I'm suggesting doing this activity in advance. You can do this in a notebook, on your phone, computer, etc. Wherever will be accessible to you. Please feel free to skip over any that you think aren't doable for you in a time of distress.

Activities: Focus on activities that you enjoy and/or involve thought and concentration. Maybe this is watching a show, doing some baking or something like that.

What are some activities that you enjoy or distract you that you could do in a time you need distraction?

Contributing: Focus on someone/something other than yourself. This may mean doing a good deed (even something small like giving someone a compliment like "I love your shirt!") or something like volunteering. These things can make you feel good and serve as a good distraction.

Are there some ideas you have that you could do? Write some down if you can.

Comparisons: Compare your situation to a time you've been through a worse circumstance and made it through. This doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid now (they definitely are) but can serve as a reminder that you can get through this.

If brainstorming for this is likely to be triggering, please skip this over. If not, maybe write down some reminders of things you've overcome that you didn't think you could. (Example for me - stopped smoking).

Emotions: Focus on something that will create another emotion. If you're feeing depressed, maybe there is a show/movie that never fails to make you laugh. It's something silly, but I find it really hard to feel sad whenever I put on some of my favourite childhood songs like the "Hamster Dance" and I can't help but sing when I put on "I Just Can't Wait to be King." For me, singing and dancing can make me feel better, even if just for a little while.

What are some things that usually make you smile or laugh that you can think of or do when you need to try and feel a different emotion?

Bonus - Write down ideas for more than the "happy emotion" like "hopeful, serenity, etc".

Pushing away: Imagine yourself physically pushing away your emotions. Maybe it helps to even write them down on a piece of paper and crumble it up and throw it away, or even tear it up.

Is there something you can do to make pushing away emotions easier? If something like writing it down and tearing it up may help, jot something like that down.

Thoughts: Focus on distracting thoughts when your emotions take over. This might mean counting in your head, reciting something you've memorized in your head, or engaging in an activity like reading.

What are some distracting thoughts you could focus on? (Example- things like picking a category - like dog breeds, and naming all the breeds you can think of, etc).

What are distracting activities you could do? (Example - Doing a wordsearch, sudoko, colouring book, etc).

Sensations: Focus on strong (but safe) sensations. Maybe this is sucking on a sour candy, or holding an ice cube.

What sensations can you try if you need to ground yourself or distract yourself?

Feel free to share your answers if you answer these by reblogging this, tagging me, or sending a submission. Also feel free to keep it completely private!

Here is my completed example!

#traumasurvivorsactivities #skills activities #dbt activities #accepts skill activity #skill learning

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borderlinereminders · 2 years

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hi there!!! i wanted to say thank you so much for this blog i’ve been following for a couple days and i’m already implementing skills :,)

recently i’ve been really depressed just overall about being in a town with no friends or distractions, to my appearance and less affection from my favorite person as she is going through something right now and can’t give me all the attention in the world which is okay!! i just was wondering if you knew something that worked for making negative thoughts stop, or something distracting? thank you <33

Hi anon!

For distraction, I recommend ACCEPTS as a skill to practice.

Activities: Focus on activities that you enjoy and/or involve thought and concentration. Maybe this is watching a show, playing a game, learning a new skill, etc.

Pushing away: Imagine yourself physically pushing away your emotions. Maybe it helps to even write them down on a piece of paper and crumble it up and throw it away, or even tear it up.

Thoughts: Focus on distracting thoughts when your emotions take over. This might mean counting in your head, reciting something you've memorized in your head, or engaging in an activity like reading.

Sensations: Focus on strong (but safe) sensations. Maybe this is sucking on a sour candy, or holding an ice cube. (This part of the skill is more useful for needing to ground in a moment and not something that's sustainable to do for longer feelings of time.)

All of these work for getting through short-term situations, but you may want to look into longer term solutions when possible.

#ACCEPTS skill #accepts #dbt skills #april answers #ask a borderline

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lesbianlotties · 2 years

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wait but now i want a detailed description of each of the girls’ rooms,,, at least some aesthetic pictures to capture the ~vibes~ maybe???

okay so!! im gonna go with words bc finding pictures is not my strong suit. also i was picturing robin and nancy sharing a room bc they are The married couple. but for the sake of it im going to right ahead and also describe what their individual rooms would be like if they started out in an apartment with 4 bedrooms instead of 3

Robin's: everyone thinks it's a Mess™ (affectionately), but she does actually has a very particular system! it's organized (Robin's version). she can find anything in her bedroom, including but not limited to: vickie's favorite book she borrowed two years ago, a picture of chrissy when she was four years old, and nancy still asleep under the covers. she has more musical instruments than she knows how to play, she started to paint a wall a different color and gave up halfway, warmest room in the apartment for some reason? cuddling central in the winter. movie posters in the walls, and is that a cardboard cutout of Sigourney Weaver as Ripley?

Nancy's: she burned down the aggressively pink room of her childhood and accidentally went overboard and made it too boring, it's a detective's office. the desk is as big as the bed, it's a little scary. she requested help from the girls to brighten up the place, so Vickie framed a bunch of Robin's paintings, Chrissy gifted her Christmas lights, Robin spends all her time there, it works. the thing about Nancy is she is organized, or she wants to be, but she's a busy girl you know? she has things to do and places to be and mysteries to solve! who needs to clean up her work papers off the bed when she can just sleep in Robin's much comfier bed?

Chrissy's: that's a escape room, in a good way. like it looks good, objectively it's the prettiest room in the house, she cares about making it as pleasant as possible, and she's in charge of the candles in this home. it's a dreamy white girl bedroom. but it's also... Chrissy since when do you have a hamster? Chrissy should we be concerned about that thing that looks like an urn that totally wasn't there last week? Chrissy is that a voodoo doll? Chrissy where did your door go? Chrissy I swear this window wasn't here when we left? Chrissy did you exchange the hamster for a parrot oh no the hamster multiplied Chrissy!!!

Vickie's. i'm assigning Vickie the braincell of the group for this and you can't stop me. Vickie's an old soul, Vickie is into knitting and embroidery and arts and crafts of all kinds and the others dont know how she does it! it's a grandma's room and a museum and a safe space and she got there first so she picked the room with the best view, where the sun hits just right, and she gets to have the prettiest healthiest plants on her window sill while the other girls mourn whatever they try to keep alive in the rest of the house. if Robin got the warmest room, Vickie got the opposite, and it's an oasis in the summer, where the other girls will all hang out in the bare minimum of clothing because god gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers

#so when am i gonna go ahead and write this huh?#the sapphic senate #sapphic roommates au #stranger things #ronance #robin buckely #nancy wheeler #vickie #chrissy cunningham #st #answered #el-fandom-birb

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spardawritings · 1 year

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Dante and Vergil react to old photos of themselves

Ahhh I love this! I saw some fan art of this a while back and it was hilarious. I’ll have to see if I can find it again.

Dante

He’d have a great time! Well, it would be more bittersweet than anything else but I definitely think he’d relish the rare, almost peaceful moment with Vergil. Probably one of the longest times they’ve spent without stabbing eachother.

Dante would would 100% tease Vergil about how “cute” he was and remind him of all the embarrassing things he did as a kid. Anything to try and embarrass his older brother. Vergil would reply with something even more embarrassing that Dante did and it would turn into a competition of who did the stupidest things. It was Dante. Of course it was Dante.

“Do you remember when I convinced you that ham came from hamsters and you believed it for months?”

“Dante, you shoved a carrot up your nose and it got stuck. That’s way more embarrassing.”

“Yeah well at least I didn’t cry watching Bambi”

“IT’S A SAD MOVIE OKAY?”

Vergil

Vergil would hate it at first. It took a lot of persuading on Dante’s end but he finally gave in.

He was conflicted; one one hand he was thinking: “Why would I want to be reminded of all the things I no longer have?”

Vergil is also very sentimental and has a lot of fond childhood memories, so maybe reminiscing about it wouldn’t be so bad- especially with the one person he shared those experiences with.

Just like Dante, it was very bittersweet for him. It was one of those rare occasions where Vergil would (ever so slightly) let his walls down.

Laughs were definitely shared between the twins, maybe even a tear or two, (Vergil only once he was alone).

#devil may cry #dmc #dante devil may cry #vergil devil may cry #dante sparda #vergil sparda #dmc dante #dmc vergil #devil may cry headcanons

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 8 months

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I'm almost positive that at some point in time the Gallaghers aquired a hamster. What do you think they named it, and who took care of it the most?

hmmmm… it depends on what gallagher era this was

was it when lip and ian were kids? like 10 and 11 possibly? if so, i think they both took care of it equally, but ian liked it a lot more and took care of it more. i know that lip liked the terminator when he was a kid so maybe he named it fuckin terminator or maybe ian named it something stupid like hammy or like joe or some shit (that was based on my childhood best friends hamsters LMAO)

but if it was carl and debbie, which i find more likely, debbie definitely took care of it the most, and carl was definitely the reason it died. i think she would have named the hamster like princess or daisy or coco or some shit (based on my childhood hamster, rip, idk where she went😭), and they never knew the hamster’s gender for sure but everyone was pretty sure it was a boy except for debbie who INSISTED she was a girl. this hamster died because carl did a “experiment” on it (much like what he did to that cat in his introduction in shameless). debbie’s still pissed at him for it.

i also love how they canonically have had two turtles. wtf happened to the turtle lip bought them in 1x08, btw??

#shameless #ian gallagher #lip gallagher #debbie gallagher #carl gallagher #i wanna post more shit like this i love this #shameless headcanon

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diary-of-an-addict · 6 months

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Who Am I?

My name is Dana and I am a coda-pendant recovering addict who struggles with bipolar disorder. I am an alanon, and adult child of an alcoholic. I am a sister, a daughter, a mother, and a wife. An employee, a friend, and a College. I am a face in a crowded room, a neighbour, and a personality behind a screen.

My story isn’t much different from many but it is mine all the less. Childhood trauma turned more adult trauma. Abandonment issues mixed with emotional damage that reeks havoc over my now “ functioning adult life”

As a child I self medicated through hair dye, shop lifting, and playing friend group roulette. Anything to distract me from the deep hatred of myself that I never quite understood. As time went on I found that substances numbed the pain and blurred the lines between myself and the person I pretended to be until eventually even while sober I couldn’t tell the difference.

After years of physical addiction and a multitude of what seemed like self inflicted trauma. I stand here now a “functional” adult with out the slightest idea which way is up. I have a career a husband a family the car the house but I still feel so empty.

Maybe this is my untimely inner demon trying to push me to self destruct. But how do I honestly move forward and find happiness if all the things and in the world can’t provide the slightest sense of joy. I’ve made it havnt I the finish line is behind me isn’t it? So why do I feel so stuck like a hamster running on a wheel that inevitably goes nowhere.

I keep this account to document these downs and it seems I come here and write it down with the hope releasing these thought will help yet they never seem to clear.

I’m standing in the edge of a cliff my brain telling me not to step off yet I have this over whelming urge to jump. I don’t want to die but the unknown just seems so appealing.

It’s funny I’ve always been so terrified of change and the u known yet that’s the thing I feel pulled to. The urge to run start over somewhere I don’t know with people who don’t know me. A blank slate free of the responsibility the stress and hopfully this feeling of inevitable repetitive impending doom.

I found happiness once but I can’t seem to find the energy or willingness to find it again.

#lost #who am i #broke

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uptoolateart · 1 year

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All the Missing Pieces - Ch 6

PREVIEW from Chapter 6:

‘A family.’ He turned the words over in his mind, counting the syllables, imagining the letters written down and tracing their shapes with his mental eye.

‘You…do want one someday…don’t you?’

A vision filled his mind, the same vision that always came to him when he tried to imagine becoming a father someday. A vision that made his blood run cold – of his own image blurring with Gabriel’s. Of becoming Gabriel.

‘It’s not that I don’t want one. It’s more like…I’m as unsure about how that will look as I am about what pathway to choose when I go to lycée.’ This was an inadequate response that didn’t begin to touch upon the real issue, but he didn’t have the energy to go into this fresh set of fears.

She shook her head. ‘You’re…you’re right, I’m sorry. We’re only fifteen, anyway. What am I doing, putting this on you. We have years to work this out. Of course, you don’t want to think about this now.’

‘It isn’t that. It’s more….’ He clenched his fists as he fought to find the words. ‘You have everything planned out – right down to the hamster. And I get it. That’s what you’re like. In or out of the costume, you’re Ladybug, and that’s what first made me fall in love with you. I love your mind, Marinette. I always have. I’m just…not that person at all. I’m not a planner. Plagg says I’m not even a thinker. When I do think about this future that’s coming for us….’

She laughed softly. ‘You make it sound like it’s some kind of monster with teeth.’

‘Isn’t it?’ He wasn’t joking.

She scooted closer to him. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this serious.’

‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt this serious.’

She licked her lip. ‘Listen.’ She took his clawed hands. ‘Forget the family, okay? Forget all of it. Maybe I plan too much. There’s a risk, there, because I get these fantasies in my head and then if things don’t work out the way I dreamed, I get disappointed. Like, really disappointed. Like, the world is going to end and maybe we’ll all be sucked into a black hole. I mean, who knows what’s going to happen over the next five years, right?’

He blinked as pieces slotted into place. ‘You were planning on starting a family at twenty?’

‘Um. No.’ She pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. ‘I also didn’t plan for Emma at twenty-five and Louis at thirty.’

He blinked some more. ‘Wait. What are we naming the first one?’

‘Hugo,’ she said immediately.

He choked back a laugh.

‘You don’t like the names?’ She sounded genuinely concerned.

‘They’re fine,’ he assured her. ‘They’re beautiful. And the kids will be beautiful too, just like their mother.’

Ooh, that was the right thing to say. He knew it as soon as he saw the way her pupils dilated before her eyes softened in that lazy way that invited him to kiss her. Maybe Felix was right. He might not have had a career plan, but he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life.

He moved in closer, so their knees touched. ‘Twenty might be a little young. Could we push the five-yearly baby schedule back a little? Give us both time to finish a degree, maybe, and find our feet?’

‘All of it is negotiable,’ she said. ‘I value your opinion.’

He laughed and shook his head. ‘Only you, M’lady. Only you.’ He leaned in for that kiss, and she kissed him back. He pulled her into his lap, so her legs were around his waist. He wanted badly to feel her with his actual fingers, but he also didn’t want to de-transform and end up with Plagg watching them and listening to them and, worst still, commenting on them. In this big bad future that was coming, they would definitely need to take off their miraculous in such moments.

The kiss deepened, and it hit him that in this future there really would be such moments. The end of childhood meant the beginning of a new phase – the beginning of freedom. No more hiding on rooftops when their parental figures thought they were in bed. They would live in a house that was all their own, where they made the rules, and they could do these things whenever they wanted.

Read at Ao3

No archive warnings apply but please read tags - rated Teen+

#ml fanfic #mlb fanfic #ml fic #mlb fic #ml fanfiction #mlb fanfiction #fanfiction 2023 #fanfiction #fanfic #ml adrien #ml marinette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ml ladybug #cat noir #chat noir

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monstrslair · 11 months

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They’re here?

gars sor (melanistic, not sure if I’m keeping the green). His colors are based of a poison dark frog. He’s an assassin? While the volus are a non-warring, not typically an aggressive species, they do have auxiliary troops; and I find their stereotypes of being weaker, physically un-adept, and simply greedy and money-focused the perfect cover for an unassuming assassin. He is a biotic, but deals more in guns, given he can’t have some biotic knife-play with a species he’d be able to take on that way. Economics aren’t his go to, but his skills are only for the right price.

ensa- Colors based on a hamster and sphynx cat. A much more docile counterpart, she works as a nursing tech at the citadel, doing her best to help those in need, though has always dreamt of helping on a ship and charting the stars and seeing more of the galaxy. Childhood penpal of rocas and becoming close friends with on of the hospital’s housekeepers, a zxaithan named epsilon.

Not sure if these two are of any relations yet, maybe an estranged adopted uncle with gars or something

orig take on the species by @c-rowlesdraws <3 They can take all the credit of my interest of these strange friend-shaped aliens

#monstrart #volus #mass effect

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wordsofahoneybee · 2 years

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ORGANIC HAUNTINGS FREE TO A GOOD HOME

PART I: GHOSTS AND GOD

Ghosts as a concept fascinate me. Humans are obsessed with the idea that, even after you die, there is something of you left behind. I don’t believe in ghosts, personally. It makes more sense to me that humans are so good at recognizing other people, that somewhere along the way we started finding them even when they aren’t really there. If we were being scientific, we’d call that a false positive. Like seeing faces in rocks and Jesus in burnt toast, we see the people we miss in creaking floorboards and flickering lights. I have friends that do believe in ghosts and have stories of seeing them, though, and I’m not about to call them liars. I have respect for what I don’t understand and cannot prove, and does it matter if they're real when they affect us just the same? I possess a sort of cognitive dissonance on the subject of ghosts in that respect. Ghosts aren’t real, but I believe my best friend when she tells me she and her father both saw the same shadowy old man hovering over their beds at night.

Similar to ghosts, I also don’t believe in God. Except in a sort of abstract way that only someone raised by an ex-Catholic mother can. Meaning that God, if He does exist, is a right bastard and I tell Him this regularly. But mostly I don’t believe in God. Instead, I have my own off-brand flavor of spirituality; a delightful mix of optimistic nihilism and bastardized shintoism. This is a very pretentious way of saying nothing matters, so why the fuck wouldn’t we choose kindness? I think that life leaves something behind and that the something left behind deserves acknowledgement, even though I definitely do not believe in ghosts.

I wish ghosts were real (and that I believed in them). I think generally life would be much cooler if sometimes people decided to stick around after beefing it, but at 15% opacity. I also think my grief would be easier to hold if I believed my loved ones persisted After. Or maybe not. I’ve woken in the night more than once in a fit, hoping only that they aren’t cold. I’m not sure that logic or reasoning are effective weapons against mourning, but I would certainly give it a good effort. I would also obviously use the existence of ghosts to become a necromancer which would be --quite frankly-- fucking rad, and possibly have the added benefit of solving the cold problem. If God were real, I would put together a PowerPoint presentation and petition for Him to make ghosts real as well. Pros: Carrie Fisher and Betty White could potentially still be hanging out. Cons: my evil dead hamster could come back to kill me.

PART II: HAUNTINGS AND HORROR

I do believe in hauntings. I think of them as separate from ghosts, which I know is unusual. What’s also unusual is that I don’t believe hauntings require death. There are two kinds of hauntings in my mind: ones that are funny, and ones that are memories. The funny ones are mostly a joke; another way of acknowledging a liminal space in a cheeky wink-nudge way. Denny’s parking lots at 3am and abandoned farm houses are haunted, mostly because I think that would be hilarious, but also because they’re the kind of places you expect to be haunted. I think placebo hauntings still count, after all, ghosts aren’t real. The second kind of haunting is more genuine than this. I’ve found that there are some places that have been full of people or life for so long that they start to feel alive themselves. Childhood homes, old churches, historic sites; so much life has passed through that I find it hard to believe that it doesn’t have some kind of memory. It should not come as a surprise to learn that I am incredibly sentimental. I'm the kind of person that says hello to the ocean and greets the birds on my deck each morning. I often keep items I do not need or even want because throwing them away feels unkind. Like something alive within them will take offense at my abandoning them. It’s a childish belief, and in my mind, not so different from believing that the dead can haunt us. Which might make me a hypocrite, but I never claimed to be otherwise.

If ghosts were real, I think there are a couple of changes we would need to make as a culture on how we view them. Horror movies and ghost busting ‘reality’ shows give spirits a horrible rap. Don’t even get me started on Ouija boards. To this day I do not understand how a piece of cardboard branded by Hasbro could inspire so much fear in my friends. That being said, I know my horror movie plots and I’m not about to go tempting fate.

I love the vibe of edgy horror and gothic chic as much as the next My Chemical Romance fan; I just don’t think graveyards and ghosts deserve to be labeled as something scary. Rot is disturbing, yes, and zombies set off a primal fear of disease and rabies that makes evolutionary sense, but graveyards are just a resting place for people we loved and ghosts are just people who didn’t get the memo that the party’s over and they need to go home. Popular ghost lore insists that spirits remain due to some unfinished business or strong emotion, but I refuse to believe that if our emotions are strong enough to hold us back from true death, only anger achieves it. I know of people who believe their passed family members stay and watch over them; a haunting made of love. That’s not scary, that’s your Great Grandma Gladys sticking around to slam the cupboards a bit.

We didn’t always think of ghosts and graveyards as scary, and plenty of cultures still don’t. In the early 20th century, Americans treated graveyards like public parks. People would spend afternoons on the grass among the dead in a cheerful affair, picnicking and generally having a good time. I for one believe we should bring this back, and not just because I view Mary Shelley as my personal hero. It’s been pointed out to me that cemeteries, for the most part, are public spaces, if people so chose they could go picnic there. My point is, when was the last time you saw families gathered on the ceiling of the dead for anything other than tragedy or a holiday? Ability is not in question, rather cultural willingness.

I don't believe in an afterlife, but I do worry still that death might be lonely. Thinking about this for too long makes me feel silly, considering how greatly the dead outnumber the living, but as I said before, logic doesn’t work on grief. I do know, though, that the idea of sitting in a plot six feet under, preoccupied only with being forgotten scares me.

PART III: LOVE AND THE UNIVERSE

Light travels at 186,282 miles per second through the vacuum of space. It takes over four years for the light from Proxima Centauri, our closest neighbor, to reach us here on Earth. If for some reason, Proxima Centauri ever went out, it would take over four years for us to notice. For those four years, we would look up at the night sky and see a star that doesn't exist anymore. So, perhaps under certain circumstances, I do believe in ghosts.

"We are made of star stuff" to quote the late Carl Sagan. Billions upon billions of years ago, the first stars died in rapturous, scintillating fashion and their supernova corpses created the foundations of life. I am a firm believer in the romanticization of decay. If only for my own sake and peace of mind, I must believe there is something beautiful about the hunger of rot. Like passing down the name of a loved one, our bodies pass down their flesh to the earth.

When you bury a body, it creates a nutrient bloom; an overabundance of minerals causing a concentrated explosion of plant life. Death becomes another kind of life. This, I think, is why I’ve latched so tightly onto the idea of haunting as a kind of love. I want to think of ghosts as what happens to the leftover love we never got to give away, the parts that are scared of being alone; light from a long-dead star. I am a poet, though, and I think most things are about love in some roundabout way.

So, really, what I mean when I say something is haunted is that there is love left behind. I mean that tombs are a kind of memory. They are I love you, I hope you rest well. They are I hope whatever comes After is kind.

They are grass that grows that slightest bit greener, life persisting in the only way it knows how.

#prose essay #prose #poetry #ORGANIC HAUNTINGS

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starlingsrps · 1 month

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electric touch.

after twelve plus hours of decoding and arguing and decoding some more, dorey emerges from hut six feeling like an over cooked egg. or undercooked. she’s exhausted and hungry - she’s not very creative when she’s fully awake and she’s starving besides. the codes were changing - easier because they knew more or less what they were looking for now and harder because the germans were starting to get a little desperate. she despises night shift but also never tires of the thrill of being in the first group to crack for the day. her desire for sleep and competitive drive have always been in direct conflict with each other, never more than here.

the sun has the audacity to be shining when she kicks her bicycle away from the tree she’d left it against last night. she has a pounding headache from the eye strain (she adds finding an optometrist to her list of things to ask jessa about when she’s next in london) and a churning gut from nothing but black coffee. she doesn’t trust her balance to ride the bicycle and instead walks alongside if it, thankful for even a little bit of assistance. her lodging is close but she’s not there right now so it’s very far indeed. she’s wheeling across the lawn when she hears what could be her name but could also be a shouted apology. though this is full of oxbridge people and god knows none of them have ever shouted and -

“dorey?”

christ on the cross, is she being punished by an ironic universe for being an immature nightmare three years ago? is this delayed penance for some childhood offense? is she not allowed to see sidney halstead when she doesn’t look like a bedraggled hamster. she blinks in the direct sunlight that seems to have decided to shine directly in her eyes and shades them with her free hand. “hello sidney,” she says. “i’ve been awake for twenty four hours so i apologize but are you real or am i hallucinating?”

he laughs and closes the distance between them. “no, i’m real. can’t say why but i’m here for a few days.”

“of course.” she tries to look awake and engaged and not yawn. “welcome, welcome. don’t touch anything.”

“are you…” he cocks his head at her and yes, she must resemble a plague victim at this point. “okay?”

“i need to eat a sandwich and get some sleep but i’ll be fine.” she fights back a yawn, sure her jaw is stretching like a snake. “late night. morning. christ, what time is it?”

“about ten.”

“it was four the last i checked so that’s nice.”

“do you need me to make sure you get back home?” he asks. “you look like you might keel over or wander into traffic.”

“that’s what the bicycle is for,” she says, giving it a friendly pat, like it’s a beloved horse. “i’ll be fine. i’m a minute away.”

“are you sure?”

“extremely. very.” she remembers that he’s visiting and manners kick back in. “do you want to have dinner later maybe?”

“sure, if you survive.”

“settled. dinner. after six. seven. absolutely seven.”

“absolutely seven. maybe tomorrow?”

“no, no.” she waves her hand in front of her mouth as she forces back another yawn. “i’ll be resurrected by seven.”

“do i need to track you down again or are you going to tell me?”

“five prince street, come around the back.” she yawns again and this time she can’t stop it. “excuse me.”

he shakes his head but it’s fond. “go home dorey.”

he heads off towards the manor house and she manages to get herself back to prince street and the former’s cooks quarters that’s her bolt hole. her landlady is as deaf as a post and seems to take her hot plate as a personal offense and there are no windows but she can come and go as she pleases and after night shift, the cool dark is bliss.

she falls asleep as soon as her head hits her pillow and when she wakes up, she feels much better, damn near human again. a shower and a sandwich had taken her the rest of the way and once her brain function had been restored, she realized that she had somehow managed to ask sidney on something of a date tonight. not that dinner has to lead to anything, of course - it just usually had in the past. it didn’t mean that she would pick up the habit again but it did show prior action and probability being what it was - it could.

“you will not sleep with him,” she tells herself sternly in the cracked bureau mirror. she wags her hairbrush at her reflection for emphasis but it doesn’t seem to have any effect on her.

the sun has started to dip when her watch ticks to seven. she smooths her dress one more time - it’s a poppy red one with little white flowers that jessa bullied her into buying. it’s entirely too bright for the but and red makes one of the other code breakers nauseous but she likes it and damnit, if she’s accidentally asked a man on a date, she’d like to feel nice. sid is waiting at the stairs, leaning against the railing in wait and when she turns around from locking the back door, he’s looking at her funny.

“what?”

he shakes his head as though to clear it. “almost didn’t recognize you,” he says. “you look so much more alive than the last time i saw you.”

dorey rolls her eyes and joins him at the. bottom of the stairs. “i forgot what a sweet talker you are. any other compliments or are you going to feed me?”

he holds out an arm for her and she hesitates before tucking her hand in the crook. “i’ll come up with something. do me a favor though?”

she considers a quick remark but there’s something sincere in his tone that has her holding it back.

“let’s not talk about the war. you can’t, i really don’t want to after today.”

“i can do that. what do you want to talk about instead?”

“literally anything. mushrooms. bricks. grass. cats.”

“are you just listing things you can see?”

he smiles down at her and her stomach flips. “it’s a start.”

she smiles back. “let’s start with mushrooms.”

they make their way to the village pub and she remembers just how easy he is to talk to. as promised, he doesn’t ask her about her work and she doesn’t ask him about his. they exhaust the subject of mushrooms fairly quickly but move onto others - she likes to hear his opinions on things, to talk and discuss and make him laugh. it’s heady stuff for her to remember how good it feels to be around someone like him. he’s smarter than he thinks but not nearly as stuck up about it as everyone she’s surrounded with day in and day out. by the time they leave, she’s damn near smitten with him all over again.

when he kisses her, it feels like no time has passed at all. her body remembers this, remembers twining her arms around his neck to level their height difference, the way his hands grip her hips and smoothly guide her to press her against the alley’s brick wall. while she has been kissed since he left, this is just a reminder that he always did it exactly right.

he doesn’t try to lift her - she hates being lifted without being asked and too many men try. she always feels like she’s about to be smuggled off like some piratical wench of done incorrectly. his hands are sure and when she nips at his lower lip, the kiss goes deeper and harder. her head thuds against the brick for a second but one of his hands moves to cups the back of her head as a cushion.

this at least has always worked for them.

“can i-“

he asks and she nods eagerly. her legs bracket his waist and after a moment of quick rearranging, he has her pinned between him and the wall. she sinks her fingers into his hair and she abandons thought.

“slow down,” he gasps, even as his hands on her bare thighs feel like a starting gun. she can’t tell if he’s telling her or himself. “baby, slow down. just a second.”

oh, her. she tries to still, meeting him in the middle when the kissing turns slow and deep. slow is nice, slow is fine but then she remembers that he has a very nice neck that he liked having kissed three years ago. for the sake of experimentation, she tries it and gets a muffled moan. she tries it again with a little more bite and gets him swearing which feels like victory.

“damnit dorey,” he grunts, pinning her a little harder - as though that’s going to deter her.

“i wasn’t going to do this,” she says, half laughing and half moaning when his hips jerk against hers. one of them should probably start thinking straight but it’s not going to be her at this rate. nor him, to be perfectly honest. neither of them are, with the gift of hindsight, particularly good at thinking straight around each other.

“told myself the same damn thing.” he doesn’t drop her but gently untangles them to set her back in the ground. “we need to go somewhere. i can’t get court martialed for having my dick out.”

she told herself a lot of things and has forgotten them all. “mine. private entrance. deaf landlady.”

“damn, you hit the jackpot.” he picks up her handbag from where it dropped. she hadn’t even realized. frankly she’s forgotten she ever even owned one in the first place. she takes it in one hand and laces her fingers with his with the other. “lead the way.”

“can they court martial you for indecent exposure?”

“i’m not finding out with you.”

#type: writing #s: dorey x sidney #verse: at the end of the world #it's always the goddamn quiet ones who are freaks for me

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