#Eyes of an In-Between

[nat-of-personifs]

Auro Is Here

You can’t do anything except write when Kassidy’s away.

Auro is here and pieces of their thoughtspace are out in thousands of tiny bubbles, as they always are. Synesthesia colors them vomit, or the forest, dark greens and–you fight down trypophobic nausea–nature, not your own nature, which is blue-gray (the color of Kassidy’s eyes) and not what it should be. But there is no should be. You’re all Guardians, and everything around you is correct when you believe it to be.

Auro is here and weaving threads between the furthest bubbles, and your own thoughtspace envelops everything without them noticing. Their hooks are catching on your own insecurities. You don’t say anything. Kassidy’s gone. They’re the only distraction, other than your paper, which you’re inundating with all your gray so your friends’ colors will love you more.

Auro is here and the colors they’re spinning are almost dizzying to watch, but not dizzying. They’d only be dizzying if you were like them. That’s what their colors say when you feel them against yourself. Not yourself. Your thoughtspace. You’re barely your thoughtspace, anyway–that’s your problem. It won’t let you sink in. No, you won’t let yourself sink in. Or the Wall. Does the Wall control that? The building (which is entirely of you) shudders, but Auro doesn’t notice.

Auro is here and they’re so wonderfully different from Kassidy. Auro talks more, and enthusiastically, and constructed the foundations–heh–of their thoughtspace from scratch. You found each other through your shared forays in G(A), like you found Kassidy and the people from Before, but you stay for the adventures they take you on into their thoughtspace that have nothing to do with your old fandomspirits.

Auro is here, and they press against a different dent in your chest than Kassidy. You need both of them to fill the In-Betweenness they elevated you to… the Wall’s mistake. That you don’t know how to make up. You can’t make them fill somewhere you restrict them from. At least they know what they’re doing when they talk, at least they know it’s half of their fault you’re here with them. Not that you complain.

Auro is here, and you’re never sure how to respond to their musings. You don’t know if you should. You don’t know if they won’t turn on you for it and become one of the Before. If they become one of the many you’ve lost through Wrong Words, you won’t ever face Kassidy again. You won’t talk again. Internet or Reality or Fiction. You won’t even try to daydream–not that you ever succeeded. You can’t do anything they do as well as they do, which should be a given, but you never wanted this. You never deserved it. But you’ll learn to live in limbo. You have learned to live in limbo–just not well enough. It’s odd. You got too much praise when you were alive./

Auro is here, and they haven’t noticed your silence, because you’re usually suffocated under the pressure of their string and bubbles when they weave them around you without knowing where you are.

Auro is here, and you won’t quarantine your mouth again over something so small. You’re waiting for a hook you can use to tighten the accidental net of themself they’ve drawn all over you, with marker and Micron pen. 

Auro is here and writing, so you check the wordcount of your paper. You’re not supposed to do that–you’re supposed to write for your love and your interests, but you don’t have passions like you should, so you use numbers. Just like Ira. But Ira had (has) too. It’s better when you have both, like Kassidy. But if you need to lose one? Lose the number. Cast it off like freed SCPs in the halls of your workplace (too loud, too many colors) who haven’t realized the only existence they lay claim to is Meaning. But you lose your number, and you lose your motivation. GUNTJ-P. GUNTJ-P. You cling to the few labels you’ve been granted. They’re what keeps you whole, while your friends shed theirs like the paper trail Vanguard leaves behind.

Auro is here and you’re delighted you can understand anything they say. It’s an honor and a privilege to sit this close to burgeoning greatness–when they unleash the colors they’ve woven into the zeroes and ones you’re bound to them by into the streets of their city, you’ll be the first to venture out with a raft, and the first to overwhelm yourself by looking too close. You won’t be the first to praise their work.

Auro is here and their net is comforting against your sinking shoulders. It’ll leave marks, you’re sure, but they’ll become the colors that your weakened immune system (lack of emotional boundaries) considers its own. It could be worse. You could’ve been the empath who weaves unnecessary intricacies into their clothing so they aren’t assaulted by the bruises all Guardians carry–except you, all you know you have is a scar from the Before and you know they’ve noticed and they know you’re In-Between and a mistake and took what your friends deserved for yourself–but no. You’re fine. It’s just because Kassidy left, and now your thoughtspace is as rough as the Pacific.

Auro is here, and their thoughtspace is as turbulent as the Antarctic, from the colors they were forced to suppress while alive. You’re nothing compared to them. You’ve known this since you were alive, when they showed those colors and blinded you for a month, but that never meant you loved them any less.

Auro was always there, in some way or another: expert, historical, loving, never condescending, wordsmith, superior. Shatterer of the complexes you developed from your own paltry thoughtspace, the first time you realized how small you were. The first Auro, from Before: silencer of a year and a half, until you met the second. The one who sits in front of you now, graciously sharing the colors that still blind you. Adrenaline curls around the marker-drawn lines and pools in strange glowing circles around the thoughtsphere-bubbles, and you tense as if your own body is barbed wire. It’s not. It doesn’t feel like it is. You need to move and you can’t, and you need to freeze and curl but you can’t stop yourself from moving and you shrug and shudder the net away with one violent motion and then you scream, not so loudly it scares you, because, as always, Auro has done worse. You don’t matter. Nothing that happens to you will matter unless Auro worries.

And to your half-surprise, they do. They pick out what bothers you better than you can, and they’ll never berate you for looking at them strangely the way your mother did. It’s only because you don’t look at them at all.

When you’re alone and away, you fall onto yarnnets of their perceived pity, molding your arms and limbs even as they feel as if they’ve been caught in the middle of a schoolyard jump-rope. You’ve always worn long sleeves to hide the burns. You walk away bleeding, but whole, unjudged.

Is it fair to imagine the Antarctic pities the Pacific’s squalls, or the Atlantic mops up the vapid green debris from her hurricanes? Do they love her, or do they scoff at her misery? You’ve always hidden who you are behind allegories; it’s one of the few things your MBTI was right about (easily lose yourself in daydreams; well, wouldn’t that be nice). You’ll pile layers upon layers until you forget what was underneath it all.

#Eyes of An In-Between #Nat’s Guardians #writing #I wrote this a while ago #no it isn’t edited none of my Nao things are edited #personifposting #anxiety #friendship #give me purple prose or give me death #spot the meta #if I missed a tw please tell me

[hattersarts]

drew some book!husbands. they feel like they've taken more traits from each other than the show.

#decided book!az has hints of elton john. its the old queen energy #book!crowley is nice looking average white man who learns how to wear a suit but half the reason he's interesting is bc he's trailing aroun #an old bookseller who looks maybe 30 years his senior and giving him babygirl eyes #its the stark contrast in the looks between the “bland” (cr) and “interesting” (az) that im going for with these guys #god im trying to make them not look like butch lesbians purely from an art skill pov but i cant beat the allegations #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale

[wasyago]

whoag woeowoow

#drawing him................. #mthinking between the weird eye and the gas mask it's starting to get a bit out of hand... #do i care though........... #mayb. e #hermitcraft #ethoslab #my art #sketch

[violent138]

Damian: "Red Hood has a pretty severe concussion. What do I do?"

Tim: "Extraction's still ten minutes out, just keep him talking."

Damian, urgently pressing the comm: "I don't want to talk to him, he's even more insufferable than usual."

Jason, lying on the ground, eyes closed: "That's funny Junior, because head trauma's the only thing that makes you bearable."

Damian, to Tim: "I'm leaving. It won't be the first time we've had a closed casket."

Tim, groaning disgustedly: "Robin--ugh, seriously, just stay there and keep him awake."

Damian, seething even more when he sees Jason's smirk: "Fine."

Jason, cracking open one eye: "Aww, are you concerned about me?"

Damian: "Shut up. The only thing I'm concerned about is our family's reputation after your public wipeout on that stupid motorcycle."

Jason:

Damian: "Are you still awake?" *kicks him* "Todd?"

Jason, grinning: "You said our family."

Damian, furious: "I didn't. You've lost more brain cells than you could afford."

Jason: "Wait 'till Tim hears, I think he'll want a group hug. Bruce is probably going to get emotionally constipated. Dickie would probably cry--"

Damian, panicking as he hears the Batmobile get closer: "Stop. Do not tell him--"

Jason: "You better erase every single fucking video of me crashing then."

Damian: "You have a deal."

#very crappy textpost #made in between exams #and with a migraine that's making me tempted to scoop my eyes out of my skull #jason todd #damian wayne #batbros #This is how I picture them bonding #reluctantly #barely #I'm not warning for death mentions because at this point Jason's name in the tags is as good as one #tim drake #batman #batfamily #dc comics #I'm always torn whether I want Jason to want anything to do with them versus them sort of being family lol #bruce wayne

[heritageposts]

Secret South African documents reveal that Israel offered to sell nuclear warheads to the apartheid regime, providing the first official documentary evidence of the state's possession of nuclear weapons. The "top secret" minutes of meetings between senior officials from the two countries in 1975 show that South Africa's defence minister, PW Botha, asked for the warheads and Shimon Peres, then Israel's defence minister and now its president, responded by offering them "in three sizes". The two men also signed a broad-ranging agreement governing military ties between the two countries that included a clause declaring that "the very existence of this agreement" was to remain secret. The documents, uncovered by an American academic, Sasha Polakow-Suransky, in research for a book on the close relationship between the two countries, provide evidence that Israel has nuclear weapons despite its policy of "ambiguity" in neither confirming nor denying their existence.

. . . continues at the guardian (24th of may, 2010)

here's also a research paper published in 2004, which, looking at declassified south african documents, lays out apartheid south africa's rational for acquiring nuclear weapons (bombing, or 'deterring,' black liberation groups):

#palestine #israel #gaza #south africa #just thought i'd bring this back up with the ICJ hearings #the relationship between israel and apartheid south african was interesting to say the least #and yes israel has nukes; this is an open secret that the western world has collectively decided to turn a blind eye to

[yooo-lets-go]

Blade Runner 2049 ghostsoap anyone?

#idk idk #just thought about differences between 09 and 22 ghost #and remembered this scene #ik rachaels eyes werent green #but the idea kinda works #blade runner 2049 #my favourite movie #his eyes were blue - yeah and he wasnt 2 meters tall and built like a fridge #call of duty #ghost babygirl #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #captain mactavish #cod ghost #cod soap #cod mw2 #call of duty modern warfare #cod 2009 #blade runner au #blade runner #ghostsoap #soapghost

[samipekoe]

I NEED them

#kusuriya no hitorigoto #the apothecary diaries #maomao #lady lihua #lady gyokuyou #me watching jinshi have a moment w mao: oh so i guess there will be romance between them :) thats nice #me when she interacts w the concubines: *my eyes bulge out of my head and my tongue unfurls like a carpet out of my mouth* AWOOGA

[lylahammar]

Zorella, the centaur pop queen ✨

Thank you to everyone who helped me by voting on her final design in the poll from last week! I'm so so so happy with how she turned out 🥰

#I imagine her music sounds something like a happy medium between Sza and Ashnikko :3 #but maybe more EDM #her style is very raver girl so it fits #it was pretty funny designing basically a lingerie harness for a horse body LMAO #that was actually what inspired her design #I was thinkin about how it would be cool to try to combine strappy harness-y raver girl fashion with horse tack #I'm deffo gonna draw her more bc I already have so many fashion ideas for her #also I've realized that I rly love doing graffiti designs lol I got carried away with her name #it probs distracts the eye too much in the composition but w/e it was fun 😂 #my art #character design #original character #OC #centaur #OCs #eye strain

[1941-crowley-slut]

I hope everyone realizes that aside from Crowley not being in heaven, Aziraphale will also not have anything else he likes.

There are no books in heaven. There's no tea or hot chocolate, no music, no crêpes or sushi. So not only does he lose the love of his life and has to operate without him, but he also isn't allowed any of his comfort things, all while I'm sure the angels are hostile against him (even if they pretend otherwise).

Aziraphale has nothing.

#bro is not gonna last #he went to jail for crepes guys he's gonna snap very soon #and did you see the annoyance on his face when gabriel knocked on his door and interrupted his music #he loves earthly stuff too much and he doesn't even realize it yet #also i'm sure when he comes back there'll be a soft heartfelt moment between him and crowley #where crowley's like “You came back” and aziraphale smiles softly and says “Missed the sushi” as they make heart eyes #good omens #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #gomens2 #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens 2

[canisalbus]

Real fan art is coming one day, but for now I really wanted to see if it was feasible to simplify their gradients into something that would fit a simple style like Bluey’s 😅

.

#aaaaaaaaaAAA #they're so precious I can't ;m; #I still haven't watched Bluey so I can't really comment on show accuracy but to me these look spot on #if you ask me the gradients work really well #if you look at them and unfocus your eyes they look like their normal markings #Vasco might benefit from having one more band between the base yellow and the lighter brown but that's totally optional and might take away #from the simplicity of his design #their colors are so true to the way I color them which is both cool and kind of uncanny #like Machete's pink details which in reality are very peachy almost closer to light orange than true pink #and their colored linearts which use the same colors I use for my colored linearts #I don't know I thought that was really cool attention to detail #they're adorable #thank you! #gift art #apupcalyptic #own characters #Machete #Vasco #their lives would be a lot less stressful in bluey universe I reckon

[mequetrefis]

and they were crewmates 😳

#tried my best to find a middle ground between anime and opla but failed #anyways zosanlu brainrot hours #luffy is their get along shirt basically #zosanlu #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #sanji #monster trio #one piece #fanart #my art #if you squint you can see sanji’s heart eyes #wip #idk if ill ever finish

[nat-of-personifs]

[Image ID: a drawing of an androgynous child, with eyes heavily shadowed and short black hair that’s jagged at the end. Their facial expression is neutral but could be interpreted as sadness. Their skin tone is slightly desaturated. They have thick, black eyebrows, and glasses with a yellow string attached to both frames that floats slightly in the air before wrapping around their neck. They are wearing a gray shawl, a necklace with a fountain pen at the end, and a very wide yellow knitted bracelet. Their shirt is light, desaturated blue, and their pants are a desaturated brown with purple tones. They have a small brown notebook in a pocket on their shirt. End ID]

This is what one Guardian looks like. Their name is Nao.

They’re an In-Between masquerading as a Passive and they don’t talk to anyone but themself and their two friends, who are both Actives. Nao’s body is 11 years old. They work under the New Triumvirate as a secretary for the ambassador to general SCP thoughtspace. They’re bothered by living in Fiction, but don’t go back to Reality, because their presence there would just take up space someone needs more. Because they’ve learned from their Guardianhood that someone always needs more.

Nao hates loud noises and the crackling of phone calls, and posing for pictures. They used to love talking about the things they did in Fiction when they were alive, but now it’s just a reminder that they weren’t enough. Nao’s feelings towards their friends are complicated and they’re the only thing they try to hide.

Nao is In-Between instead of Active because the Actives had to teach them to dream, when they were still alive.

Silence doesn’t come naturally to them, but their thoughts aren’t worth much anyway. Their own Guardian made that quite clear, as did all the people who used to talk to them.

Nao’s heard most of them became Active too, when the Wall took them.

Nao has no one to help them through their smudged feelings about the two people left they’re not afraid to love, so they don’t acknowledge them at all. At least theirs are blurry and easy, their friends, and everyone else, is healing from worse—they can wait. In the end, they deserved this fate, because Guardianhood is the heaven for the Actives they should have been delivered when they were alive, and Nao has no right to complain.

I may create a storyline for them later.

#personif lore #I have a lot of things I want to say about this guy #Nat’s Guardians #personifposting #art #oc art #fourth wall #NTJ #Nao reincarnated in a pretty shitty enclave #Guardian cultures vary widely #Eyes of An In-Between

[beaulesbian]

Enough to make you believe in true love.

#can i just point out that azira probably felt the love between gabriel and beelzebub? #bc all the demons around there were gagging at this moment #and azira reached out his hand to crowley to support himself bc it was a lot on him?? ;-; #almost similar to s1 when he felt the love around the tadfield town #and then he looks from gabriel and beelzebub at crowley with so much love in his eyes too ;-; its too much #good omens #good omens spoilers #goedit #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #mine #gif:good omens #good omens 2 #good omens s2 spoilers #michael sheen #david tennant #go s2 spoilers #how's smitten now.. gosh that look in the last gif... #they needed to see those other two. just to know its possible for them too. to be Them #uahghhg if only the ending

[egophiliac]

still absolutely losing my mind over Lilia

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #sebek: wow we're so lucky to see lilia-sama at his fighting prime. so commanding! so powerful! #lilia: (straight up stuffs a frog in his mouth without breaking eye contact) #seriously though i did not think it was possible for me to enjoy lilia even more. and yet. #'dragon eggs need love in order to hatch' #ten year old me: gasp. i knew it. #the IMPLICATIONS though! #forget true love's kiss we have true love's baby dragon over here #also twst. twst please. i do feel i need to call you out a little bit on malleus' age #i don't really have a problem with it i was just. surprised. #i mean i GUESS the description of dragon ages was vague enough that malleus being under 200 doesn't inherently contradict it #it could've been clearer okay :( #that said it is true that the younger malleus is the more hilarious his whole world-weary immortal schtick is #'ah...you are all as infants in comparison to me. ' - malleus (age 19) #also lilia being a foundling does explain him not knowing his real birthday. so i will forgive (1) birth-related shenanigan. #auuuugh the parallels between lilia and silver #brb i need to go roll around on the ground and mutter to myself for a while

[ryllen]

x

#reading this meme gives me comfort #twisted wonderland #twst #this is just what i think #who would u swap and where #honestly jack is probably the first and second tier once he gets comfortable with you #like it is so kind and warm it actually makes u forget ur woes #kalim and ace are just the tight huggers that's why they are on the top list #they squish u and that serotonin out #u're just little pouch of serotonin in their hands #trey is between giving u awkward back pat or hugging you #but i like to think even tho he's just pretending his hug is very comforting #deuce is just bewildered confused and flustered that's why he doesn't return the hug immediately #but he sure wouldn't want to let go afterwards #cater might seem like he would give a good hug but i imagine his true self be like o . o and then switch to ^ - ^ immediately after #vil is just a kind person in my eyes #he is mature and calm and nurturing if he wants to #i alter the meme wording by a bit to fit my perception more #if u put the birthday boy icons together it makes a heart omg #ruggie is honestly confusing me #he would probably only hug wholeheartedly if money is on the line #but i think he hugs his family and the kids at the slum very lovingly #idia is probably between the third and fourth tier but maybe he leans more towards hugging back than patting on the back #patting in the back is probably too cool for him #floyd'd examine u first and giving the how dare u touch me look menancingly but then be like ehe bcs it's little shrimpy i'll forgive u~

[s-aint-elmo]

Falin has been nearsighted since she was little, and has a habit of squinting when she's looking at things. —Delicious in Dungeon World Guide: The Adventurer's Bible

she should have been at the optometrist's

(ID in alt text)

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #marcille donato #laios touden #doodles #mine #falin's closed eyes canonically just being squinting is one of the funniest word of god additions to a story ever #noticing how she started keeping them open post-rez n being like ''wow that's such a cool way to introduce a disconnect between the falin w #heard of n the falin we're meeting now. i wonder how this plays into the dragon thing'' and it's just. it's just. She Can See Now #i do think if she ever did get glasses they'd be no use bc she doesn't like wearing them. marcille has to wrestle them onto her face #after wrestling them out of laios's hands #protip: they're in their flashback designs bc that chapter is burned into my brain permanently. laimar one-sided enemies to besties + #farcille cheek-pinching as a love language 5ever