#Havent had the ability to post anything

[straawberries]

ahahaha. really scared right now this is serious 👍👍👍

I HAVE LESS THAN 3 MONTHS LEFT UNTIL IM KICKED OUT AND DONATIONS ARE AT THEIR ALL TIME LOW WHEN I NEED THEM THE MOST

i am less than halfway towards my goal of 2000 dollars to survive moving out, and at the moment, if current trends hold up, im.. probably not gonna make that amount. i dont know what will happen to me if im not able to safely move out, im a visibly trans autistic person living in texas.

for the love of god, please, if you can, donate anything, and if you can send this to like.. rich friends, or friends with nice jobs, or friends with money they dont need, because i could seriously use some help

im appreciating all the encouraging words ive been getting but.. while kind, words will only get me so far. i dont exactly have options for places to live, so the only place i can go if i dont manage to get enough to move out is on the streets.

i get seeing these posts a lot is annoying, i get doing something about it is annoying, i get clicking on a link and sending money is more than you wanted to do while scrolling tumblr, but if everyone who saw this post and had the ability sent me money, i might make it. things are looking bleak, and im looking everywhere i can for sources of income, but at my current pace.. im donezo without a miracle, i think.

C*SH*PP - @delilahswagga

P*YP*L - @delilahkill

i guess ill do the whole thing again

hi! im delilah, im a plural autistic trans girl in an abusive household in a shitty town in texas. ive been incapable of getting a job because no businesses are trans-friendly and i cant exactly pass as cis, i rarely have enough food in the house, and to top it all off, on june 1 2024 (my birthday, in less than 3 months) i am going to be kicked out onto the streets regardless of what i do. i have no options for places to live, i have no options for actual income, so i have to resort to begging on the internet. i know its annoying but.. i really dont know what else i can do that i havent already tried.

i promise to you, if your money goes to me and helps me survive, it wont be a waste. i have so many dreams that i am desperate to fulfill, im in a large polycule (the above banner is my polycule's "logo"/"flag") with people i love and people that love me dearly, and one day i want to live with as many of my partners as i can, and open a bakery with my boyfriend finn. i try to be the best person i can be, i try to help my friends when they need it (and plenty of my friends have told me ive saved their lives or made their lives much better) and. i just want to live. i dont know how to continue this without just sounding like im guilt tripping, so ill sign off here.

please dont scroll past this. share it if you can, copy the link and post it among you friends just to see if they can help, anything, for the love of god.

#plural #autistic #trans #transgender #trans woman #t4t #polyamorous #polyam #actually autistic

[kitsquared]

Chuuya thought that haunts me every now and then is how did they get him and vampirize him? Was it poison? Did they poison him again?? Is this the only way??

#(kit)^2 #I need to word vomit excuse me #i saw a beast au comic and dazai poisons him before he meets sskk and i havent seen that take yet so i was like #yeaa. thats. thats one way to do it actually #chuuya letting someone he trusts get close to him and they use a poisoned blade on him again :(( #it's about the betrayal of trust #it's about chuuya trusting the other without using his ability #it's watching the other person walk away or see the people u protect point guns at you as u lose blood and consciousness #N poisoning him does not follow this pattern but man did chuuya still suffer #I want to highkey draw this now that i type it out but this is why i havent finished anything for chuuya.week #Post is asking did chuuya get poisoned and the tags are chuuya leaves himself defenseless around people he trusts #Long tags #Long post #I think he had an off day and maybe he was grieving aku so his guard was down

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy OC Tourney - Side A: Round 1

Rules:

do NOT be mean to anyone or any characters in these polls. you MUST clarify if you are joking/teasing or you will be blocked. if you are someone who entered an oc into this and you are mean to other contestants you will be disqualified

do NOT claim a character doesn't deserve to be here. yes including your own. be nice

if you are posting propaganda you have to tag us, including if your propaganda is in the reblogs. it is difficult to tell when something is or isn't propaganda. anything not tagging us will likely be missed

please don't hesitate to let me know if i messed something up!

have fun, hype each other up <3 thank you

Evergreen | She/her | @insertsona

shes just kind of chilling tbh . she's technically unemployed (didn't feel like it) and spends most of her time vibing . her ex recently returned to the city after randomly disappearing for years and she was just kind of oh hey glad youre back . her most interesting trait is that she takes part in a fighting tournament once a year and wins it usually . and shes transgender

Promos: evergreen is a character in my oc universe teunia! shes a side character in the main story the tourney and a slightly more main character in the unnamed prequel that i think abt very often (but have yet to develop . bc im too busy thinking abt my dr oc constantly)

teunia's folder -> https://toyhou.se/InsertSona/characters/folder:3849690

~

Zephyr Fey | He/him | @lord-plague

An averagely built guy who somehow managed to join the military force of his fortress city without a birth certificate, ID, and with dyed hair. Nobody knows where he came from, nobody knows why he is here but there he is. No magic or superhuman abilities or prodigal skills but my god does he make great goo bowls with greater personalities (nobody wants the goo bowls and he does not know why). That one friend that keeps trying to alleviate awkward situations with jokes and random laughter.

~

Full images and descriptions under the cut!

EVERGREEN IS LITERALLY SO JUST SOME GUY. despite being a repeat champion for the tourney she lives in a shitty studio apartment . she had a girlfriend that was also her rival and then they broke up and she was just oh ok! her hobbies include vibing, hanging out, etc. shes like those old guys you see watching planes take off or construction occur . nobody knows where she gets her money from . her ex's new partner is a friend of hers. she doesn't even bear any relevance to the first main plotline because she's too busy doing other stuff she just happens to also be in the city while the horrors occur . sometimes shell go to the local coffee shop and just not order anything . i wanna be her friend . i havent actually posted her on tumblr . shes so some guy that most of the facts abt her character i can think abt are so mundane i never even bothered to write them down

[no extra description provided]

#tournament poll #oc tournament #ocs #some guy joust #evergreen #zephyr fey

[enderwoah]

jimmy solidarity is so intrinsically mind-meltingly confusing i love him dearly and i want to squish him with a passion and i want him to win (or lose) the next life series installment and here is why

(this is a very long insanity fuelled rant sorry but if you too are obsessed with jimmy solidarity and the concept of him actually not being pathetic and possibly winning heres the post for you)

jimmy solidarity is the kind of guy that literally has one gimmick and its being the most pathetic person on every server he has the pleasure of being on. he is the wet cat of a man that gets bullied and taken advantage of and nobody listens to him when he complains or objects to anything and yet not once has he truly gotten angry about it because hes just that nice of a guy. sort of.

cause i dont know about yall, but jimmy solidarity is kind of a bastard to me?? i will never forget him swindling joey out of 50% of his gunpowder profits (u think that wasnt swindling?? consider the following: he was earning NOTHING before joey started doing gunpowder on his own. NOTHING. and yet all he had to do was go over and put on his little sad pitiful pathetic song and dance and beg for a cut of joey's profits and suddenly: whats that? a net profit?) i will never forget the sheer amount of times this guy has had to hold himself back from straight up killing or aattacking someone; not because of morals or kindness or goodwill, but out of spite. but out of "i need to be better than this person it hurts them more if i dont kill them in cold blood (in my head)." i will never forget the amount of times he has just straight up punched someone in the nose (/rp) because they were being mildly annoying in the middle of a conversation.

im not saying hes a mastermind thats manipulating everyone by acting lame but also just a little bit?? minus the manipulation part?? hes proven on multiple occassions that he isnt like stupid idiot baby man. like yeah he can be a little incompetent sometimes but so can scar and by now we have ALL recognised that scar is terrifying and could raze the server by himself if he so pleased. i think if jimmy solidarity's main bit wasnt 'its funny when my friends bully me' he could genuinely cause some serious damage. i think the one time hes like ever made a trap on his own in the life series (the one in his doorway in last life) it worked flawlessly which. like. a trap. in the life series. working flawlessly. hello. sure it was basic but the fact that it worked without a hitch should alone be a testament to his ability

and if thats too obscure for u i mean we can step out of the life series for a little bit and just direct you to the fact that he isnt bad at minecraft like at all?? if u havent had the pleasure of watching his dodgebolt 1v3 i really reccomend it because youd THINK that someone bad at minecraft would be trembling in his boots and being in a total panic in that situation. hell even someone AMAZING at minecraft in that position (grian) literally sounded on the verge of throwing up for his entire time and thats FAIR. thats NORMAL.

all i am saying is that jimmy solidarity rolled up to this 1v3, said 'ive got this,' and took out two people in literally a second and a half. and then just chill-ly said 'ive got this' again. the only time he sounded mildly panicked was when tommy was making him dodge for a ridiculously long amount of time. as soon as tommy missed twice- or, rather, as soon as he dodged tommy's bolts twice, mine brother in craft took one shot after like five seconds and it was over. every SINGLE time i decide to watch a jimmy mcc pov im sitting there like. 'damn. DAMN?? JIMMY SOLIDARITY???? POPPING OFF???????" at like more than one point every single time. there are so many other places that hes demonstrated that he isnt bad at minecraft but its late/early and my memory doesnt work like it used to

which brings me back to the life series. since we all know that his 'being bullied hahaheeheehoohoo' bit is a bit (and hey. its a good bit. im not saying its a bad bit. i think its funny and i think it gets even funnier when jim starts fighting back. if youre gonna have a long-lasting gimmick thats a good one and jimmy does a swell job at making it entertaining and also making it clear that it isnt serious) this means that he can un-bit it for a bit. or at least peel away the bit a little.

im just saying jimmy solidarity has huge bastard energy and hes allowed to let it free in the life series!! he will burn things down he will cheer at traps he will fight for his friends he wil fight tooth and nail and claw for his life (he started last life with two lives. he never got any more. he only died due to a trap and due to murder like COME ON). if he wanted to burn down a base he could if he wanted to set up a huge trap PERSONALLY i think he could hell i think if he went up to someone in 1v1 combat he would at least have a chance (depending on the person of course). i mean look at his dodgebolt performance all the man needs is a bow and some distance and hes APPARENTLY set for life!!

ill say it

if jimmy solidarity played it smart, he could win the life series. easily.

jimmy is good at making alliances with people (coughs and kicks the southlands betrayal underneath the rug Ignore That One he was Desperate he started off with two lives remember honestly it was a justified move) hes a litlte bit silly stupid and oft acts impulsively but he can direct that impulsivity against one person and for another. if he got himself in a squad like he did in 3rd and last life and stopped playing up the pathetic bit and set a trap for once in his life (/endeared) he could actually get himself some kills. some Real kills, not accidentally blowing up ren and skizz with tnt.

i dont even care how he does it. i just want him to win. and if he doesnt win, i want him to come top five at LEAST before getting horrifically stabbed in the back by someone he had been running with for the whole series that is the ONLY loss i will accept and still be happy about. the man deserves a girlboss moment please we're approaching two years let the man LIVE

#will be making another post expanding upon him winning #i need to get out ALL of my brainrot #all of it #but first i needed to rant without direction #thank you #jimmy solidarity #solidaritygaming #life series #3rd life #last life #double life #last life jimmy #trafficblr #grian #yippee

[megoomy]

judith, a witch(?!) in a pact with a malak named ba’ul

more info and reference sheet under the cut!

here she is!! i'm happy with her look, less so with the rendered image of her, but we can't win them all.

like it says on the sheet, i was taking a lot of cues from her in game Draconic Lancer title costume. I wanted to lean into the white more than her default outfit, calling back more to the helmeted look she has before joining the party. but obviously, i didnt want to do anything that looked too much like that, or that had gold accents like her in game jacket and...skirt cape(??), because then she'd come off as kind of abbey coded. so i settled on pink accents, pulling from the colors on the Draconic Lancer look. i think it's fun. it gives her a girlish touch, which is a part of judy's character that i like! she's badass and secretive and mysterious, but she likes cute things too. well. her idea of cute, anyways...i think it suits her persona of being a "witch" in this setting. judy understands how to create an image.

speaking of that. unlike rita, who has a lot of magical knowledge, judy is basically a witch in name only. she understands how to form a pact, and not a lot past that! i think we landed on this for a few reasons:

Judy's father, Hermes, was a blastia expert, and naturally good at the magic of vesperia's universe. but judy was just the opposite, and in the novels she initially couldn't even grasp the talents natural to most krityans. being a witch who doesn't actually do much magic seems apt.

speaking of her dad, this also provides her connection to rita. they're both...witches. rita WILL NOT call judy a witch though, as you might imagine LOL (on that note, maybe hermes takes on the role of grim as the witch teacher?? again, we havent really decided on this LOL)

ba'ul obviously makes most sense as a malak, since the malaks and the entelechaia are both spirit equivalents for these tales entries. (well, entelechaia become spirits--listen, you get what i mean if you've played enough tales games) and judy MUST be with ba'ul! much like she only learns how to use her nageeg after interacting with ba'ul in the novel, i think she has just enough resonance to meet ba'ul, and their connection increases it, and she refines that ability as a "witch" enough to solidify their bond through a pact. they're family!

But yeah she uses a spear to fight. Ba'ul helps her imbue it with seraphic artes to a degree, but mostly its just the spear. I went with a design similar to the Brionac, since that's her Lore Important Weapon, but uh, i haven't designated this lance with lore importance itself. maybe we'll come up with something. looking at it right now i really think i should've colored it differently but IM NOT CHANGING IT, I ALREADY POSTED TO TWITTER!!! (it may change, hell, i decided to make it kind of glow pink in the image, im not fit for weapon designs)

Ba'ul always comes first to Judy, but neither of them is particularly biased against daemons or humans, despite knowing the truth about malevolence. she's quick to befriend yuri and loves repede (who is also a daemon, i gotta put him down on paper soon) and seems understanding of people's different circumstances. but she prioritizes her own goals first, so she'll disappear at the drop of a hat if it suits her, and yuri knows better than to count on her too much...

oh yeah. ba'ul is considered a "dragon" in vesperia, but that comes with a lot of BAGGAGE in this universe, so he's not a dragon here. he, um....he just looks like that. it's fine.

#tovb au #judith vesperia #tales of vesperia

[sickoherd]

THE 100 -- dating reader from a different clan

mild angst???

requested by @nickeverdeen: gn!reader who is from a different clan and got captured by their group (smth like Sasha case), but reader is in relationship with them (Clarke, Sasha and Octavia) and is innocent?

era: s1 dropship

author note: sorry i havent posted in ages my mental health hasn't been great :) also im going to add in sasha once I finish rereading the books bc unfortunately I don't remember her very much.

Clarke:

the two of you met early on, she was at the river about to bathe, and you stumbled upon her whilst hunting.

she pointed her gun at you, you threatened her in trig...

it was all so romantic.

clarke never could have pulled the trigger though, your beauty struck her.

when you saw the internal battle in her eyes, you relented, raising your hands in surrender to show her you meant no harm, you were just passing through.

she let you leave, albeit, reluctantly.

that was just the first of your many encounters.

always at the river, it became your secret spot

the both of you would go there daily, hoping to catch a glimpse and feel those butterflies erupt in your bellies.

communications between the two of you was tricky however, you didn't understand her language and she didn't understand trig.

so you had to communicate at the start through offerings.

you would bring her food, or help her fish.

or even guard her while she bathed.

or you joined her...

eventually, you manged to learn a few words of her language, and your ability to speak them grew with every conversation.

you hadn't been dating for very long,

but she was always so insistent that you stay away from her camp

she didn't want the others to think you were a threat and kill you

of course though, you just didn't listen

you wanted to bring clarke some herbs you found, of which you had been tsught had medicinal properties.

You just wanted to share it with her

clarke was on guard duty tonight, you observed from further in the trees and woodlands surrounding their camp

the noise and bustle of the camp didn't frighten you, if anything it made you feel better that you wouldn't be heard as you made your way to clarke

however, she spotted you first

the look she gave you was one of pure death.

oh was she pissed...

you just gave her a smile.

clarke had a quick scan of her surroundings to check no one else was around, before walking over to you

holding out the herbs to her, she gave you a confused look before you explained.

"good for healing!", you beamed at her and she practically melted at your smile

she couldn't help herself, she just had to kiss you, but as she leaned in and you placed your arms around her, you heard footsteps.

in the dark, your loving embrace wasn't too visible, but to bellamy, who had just stumbled upon the two of you, it looked murderous.

"let go of her!" bellamy shouted, making you jump and clarke looked so scared all you wanted to do was hold her.

"bellamy no wait-"

but he didn't wait, he shot you in the leg.

"no! stop!" clarke screamed, tears falling uncontrollably down her face.

bellamy ran to her, checking her over for injuries, while you were writhing in pain on the floor

by now, a small crowd has formed, hush whispers of the words grounder and dangerous

bellamy had to restrain clarke as she tried to get to you, now being dragged off by miller and a few others.

she was sobbing, completely incoherent.

she couldn't let them take you...

Octavia:

you had seen her before

chasing butterflies, kissing a boy

you admired her truly

she was beautiful

the way the blue light shone on her

she was in her element and you were just happy to witness such a beautiful moment

you did not believe that you should attack these newcomers, but rather learn about them,communicate with them

like lincoln did

from then on, when you could, you looked out for her

never approaching her, just spectating

however, you two met officially through lincoln

you grew up with him, he was like an older brother to you

so when you entered his little hideout, you were incredibly shocked to find the girl you had been so hopelessly admiring for days inside.

unfortunately, you were in the cave when octavia was found, lincoln was off hunting

so it was you who was taken...

octavia had seen you before

she saw you in the trees, or in the woods and in her dreams

she saw you in that cave

she saw you get knocked out by her people and dragged back to her camp

she didn't know you, but oh how she wanted to

she longed to know you

this mysterious grounder who had been haunting her dreams

but now they were going to torture you and most likely kill you

octavia snuck into see you, to help you escape

you were so beat up and battered, but octavia still thought you were as breathtaking as her dreams

of course, since arriving on earth, she's been one for doing spontaneous things, but she couldn't name the force that drove her to kiss you.

but she did, and it was right

it felt so right that when you kissed her back, butterflies exploded in her belly

but now she had to get you out

she had to save you

#sy talks 🌥 #the 100 fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 x reader #octavia blake x reader #octavia blake #clarke griffin x reader #clarke griffin #the 100 books #cw the 100

[ganondoodle]

(this went on to be a longer ramble, talking about shrines and the abilities in totk i had more thoughts about the overworld repetition but im putting this into a separate post)

something i havent seen anyone mention before is also that it is a problem that you can skip nearly any puzzle in the totk "temples", some of which just by climbing walls ... and that wasnt possible in botw bc the titans were made of the same material as the shrines and prevented you from climbing on them, which feels like they knew making them climable would reduce the amount of puzzle you had to do and make it even less impactful, surely there are some glitches or movement tech that can make it easier, but at least you had to think about it a little?

but i guess that went against their newly adopted "more freedom equals better" way of thinking .. but then ..

the thing that i find confusing is that the shrines interior in totk are once again, NOT climable, but similar sonau buildings in the overworld ARE climable, they even restrict how you can use the tech in shrines, so ... they arent actually against restrictions? but then dont restrict anything else? not even in the main dungeons?? its kinda inconsistent and conflicting (like everything else lmao)

and that kinda extends to the abilities too, both the ceiling jump and ultrahand make alot of puzzles obsolete bc theres always a way easier way to skip everything; i know they kidna based it around people doing crazy thigns in botw, but there it felt like you were actually kinda missusing the mechanic of stasis for example in a smart way, YOU came up with that and it felt rewarding creating your own solution to shrine puzzles bc there were multiple ways to do it in this engine (like isntead of aligning blocks to lead electritiy to one end to the other you put out your weapons and place them there instead, and it WORKS) it felt more non intended, even if they had thoguht about it, it still FELT like you just came up with that, and sometimes it really was the only way your mind worked with and everyone had their own way of thinking

while in totk, they kinda tried to encourage that way of thinking, but it doesnt feel like your own idea anymore really, and, while its not every single one, in alot of totk shrines .. or even overworld puzzles you were just .. literally given the puzzle pieces for you to put together, but the pieces were like .. in parts of 6 at most so putting together the picture was both obvious and also kinda boring, like you were treated like you are a 4 year old and they were giving you 4 piece puzzles over and over- and fine you CAN just glue the two fans together and stand on them to fly high enough to just glide over to the end instead of building the flying thing they gave you the pieces for BUT its still .. expected, like you dont feel like you are working on it your way but seeing what the devs obviously planned for and then knowingly circumventing it i dont think its good either that in combination with the ceiling jump you really can just skip almost anything, take out a fly thing and fly near the end to spam the jump until it works, instead of using the building blocks they gave you for the obvious solution you build some platform and just ceiling jump to it, theres a rocket here? fuse it to your shield and fly high enough to glide to the end, its both too easy and obvious for the intented way and then you can even entirely skip that too, and you dont even feel smart about it bc it doesnt feel like you came up with it on your own and instead feel like a child that is way too old for the toys its given and the adults giving them to you stare at you while they wait for you to solve the puzzle- and alot of the solutions were either build something with these three pieces or fight something with these pieces-

i still remember that one (or more?) botw shrines were it lead you to a button to press and once you stand on it the wall slides open and reveals some fun and unexpected challenge, over and over- there was a hallway you had to glide through but there were big moving spiky metal balls hanging from the ceiling, maybe one has a normal rope on it and you can shoot it down if you notice it but the others dont so what do you do, stasis them so you can avoid it in time, grab it with magnesis to make it swing harder and then hope for the best as you fly there or dont do anything of that and just jump in- the one were a spiked wall was chasing you and as you run more obstables are put in your way right before you get to it, you stand on a button and the wall opens greeting you with an immediate guardian laser to the face? it felt more creative and fun to me, tho granted i havent done all shrines in totk bc i grew too tired of the everything to play more

(at least thats how i felt like, like i was treated like i was stupid for alot of totk, not just in the shrines sometimes .. which were one of the more enjoyable things in it, but also in the story .. like you dont have to think at all to get everything before its said to your face over and over)

and that thing with the abilities and the tech also makes the world less like a world and more like a playground bc you can just skip to every point of interest, you dont have to walk or climb or fight your way anywhere really bc you can just go up and fly to whereever you want, the new weird ass towers only make it worse bc .. of course youd make use of them to get everywhere even quicker, its also kinda in the combat, they might give you the tools to be creative (with arguably very simple things .. like a wheel, a rocket a fan and flamethrower arent realyl that interesting to begin with) why would you build a laser firing tank maschine to fight some bokblins you can just .. clobber like you usually do way quicker and easier

i do like the abilities in botw more than in totk too, but its got multiple reasons, like the world felt built around it without putting it into your face all the time, and the shrines were more built around giving you fun challenges, or just .. a fun experience, with often more subtle puzzles and not always forcing you to make use of the shiekah stone runes, plus the totk abilities feel more like the same thing .. or less interesting? fuse and ultrahand really are one and the same thing but separated into two for .. some reason, the time reversal is like stasis but with less ways to apply and use it (and kinda clunky how everything freezes in place when you prime it), and both it and the ceiling jump are a skip button from one location to the next (even tho we already have the fast travel) so you dont even need to climb, like those weird towers in the underground i thoguht looked cool and interesting when i first saw them only to realize its just a way to get to the surface via ceiling jump and nothing more .. you could fast travel up with the same amount of loading time, and more often than not it wasnt even in an interesting spot or somewhere you couldnt get to otherwise; the autobuild too even lets you skip building!! the thing thats the supposedly focus! i know its annoying to build something for a long time with its clunky function but isnt it yet another skip button

... another random ramble, much more incoherent too, again i want to mention im not trying to hate on everything, jsut kinda communicate or ... spill out my thoughts and feelings; i do absolutely agree that ultrahand is a very impressive mechanic and i did have fun with all the abilities for a while ..... i still like botws more bc its more diverse and is more restricted (which i LIKE) while also having more ways to use them

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #sorry this got so long again #i DID have fun with totk shrines #but it was also less interesting in alot of them #like the dumb get crystal thing to shrine place where all so boring despite them being so similar to botws ball and pedestal shrines #there were alot more quests around them tho #like the one in kakariko or the guardian obsessed lady #the only crystal quest i remember from totk is the one in taburasa and the guy .. literally just sells it to you doesnt he #funnily enough i encountered that before i even saw one of the crystal shrines so i had no idea what it even was #also do NOT come at me with the argument that its a kids game #you know damn well most fans are adults #also kids arent stupid either #and the older games were arguably harder and more confusing #despite being made for kids too #so whats the hangup now #we can show entire bloody torture dungeons in oot(?) but you dont get a single drop of blood in totk were someone is murdered on screen #whats the use of weapons when people can just one punch the soul out of someone without even making them spit

[system-of-a-feather]

(more programming / TBMC / RAMCOA talk; nothing too heavy, same as last post, we just put it under the cut for ourselves cause these topics don't benefit most parts to engage with and thus we kept it off our own notifications)

But honestly, lately with how far into recovery we are and how much on and off fusing with XIV has stabilized me a lot more and made me a lot more clear with who I am and all that shit, I've largely been thinking a lot on the shit I've been through and all the parts I've been, cause at this point, I'm really trying to reconnect with my scattered subsystem parts.

Less so "scattered" and more so long lost because - for those that don't know / havent followed - like nine months or so ago an old version of myself that went by Data just kind of imploded under a lot of stress, pressure, trauma, and self destructive loops that were set off by the way we were healing and what not.

It was honestly really fucked up and a really unfair cause we were genuinely trying really hard to be "a good part" but programming and shit kept had us between "literally dying and at complete overload" or "doing shit that hurts ourselves and the system" and so we'd always just end up doing shit that caused problem and honestly, we had done everything we could to remove ourselves in that form from the picture in a healthy and failed multiple times - and so it was honestly kinda super fucked that when trying to stop existing, we instead shattered into like 4 or 5 parts

But in the end of it, I was a part that existed as a complete - for lack of better words - "burn out" and very extreme "turned off" response to the programs that were being regularly triggered prior to self implosion and it was a huge mess at first, but it ended up with me becoming the host of that subsystem and really? As much hell as it was, the implosion and generation of another subsystem really I think disconnected a lot of the experiences we had as Data and managed to shut down a number of parts to actually let me develop beyond just a "burnt out" state.

And in hindsight? It really worked because while I'm still Data, still part of that heavily and completely fucked programmed original part, I was "generated" in a state of literally being unable to deal with anything and as a part to cope with that and with space, really became a more developed part who is centered around the ability to cope and deal with what we were programmed to do and to.... NOT do that.

And now that I'm a lot more stable and full of a part, I honestly can go back and collect and look back at our experiences of how things have happened and how each part felt and worked and put things back together. At this point I hold almost everything Data originally did. I can look back and replay things and understand things and understand where everything came from, but I'm *not* Data - I'm Chunn (everyone in the brain says I should start spelling it Cheng or at least claim that as my secret Chinese name because its pronounced the same but I like the Chunn spelling so they can fuck off /hj)

And in that sense, the thing Data wanted so bad - to not be here and to not be in the way and to have anything but chronic stress and trauma responses and to just not cause problems for everyone in a desperate attempt to feel safe again - while it's not at all in the way he wanted or imagined it to be, he - we - got it. I don't resemble him much at all anymore, and that's sad in it's own way, but at the same time, is that not the very wish itself? To be ourselves but in a form we created and not in the form someone else created us for?

Anyways, these days it's kind of funny cause I basically serve a roll for the system that is the OPPOSITE of what we were programmed to do and while other parts are not as "impacted" as I was, I do end up sitting here and looking at the "less impacted" parts and go "Okay well that came from this shit I did and you don't notice it but that behavior of yours is intended to synergize (negatively) with what I was programmed to do so I'm going to tell you that I don't want to participate in that"

Cause as much as we were the overtly programmed part, I'm really realizing that it neither started nor ended with me and it really is oddly nice to be able to look at that and help in detangling this garbage.

And not to go into the details for safety reasons, but recently our therapist asked a question to Riku / Fei as to why we were doing XYZ and not another thing that would be more in character for them - and at the time they came up with some round about reason and explanation to which I had to ask, when they were thinking about it the next day, ".... is it not just because [feeling and condition that I know was an active major trigger]? Because you know you can state that and that is a perfectly valid and healthy thing to say. You are allowed to think that." and the genuine level of which they seemed to very hesitantly state it to themselves as if they were afraid to Set Something Off - it just really clicked something with me.

Cause that would have been me. That would have been me that would have been set off. That would have been me that would have changed that thought into a borderline / active crisis and/or mess that would be far more stress than just compliance to the programming. And in this moment, not only was I NOT being Set Off by it, but I was encouraging them to try it again despite many many many years of reinforced "if you do that you will regret it"

And it's really kind of nice to see. I can't think as original Data would, I barely can comprehend just how stuck that version of me was - they were so deeply intertwined in the programming its unfathomable even though it was me and I have the memories of it. Thus, I can't say "Data would be happy and proud to see where we've come", but I would like to think - even in the hell they were in - that theyd be comforted to know where we ended up.

But I digress. I felt like sharing this most of today cause man have we come far.

#alter: chunn #programming tw #programming #ramcoa tw #ramcoa #tbmc tw #tbmc #chill to reply if you like #im mostly rambling #recovery #healing

[vesora]

reminding you of your true power - manifestation

do you feel alone? are you going through hard circumstances and you feel bad because growing up, all anyone ever said to you was completely negative? 

this sounds like an ad to a dodgy scheme but its not 

i am here to tell you anything that anyone ever said to you, no matter who it is, it could have been beyonce (i bring her up a lot) but it aint real

because how can anything negative be associated with GOD? you are god. that doesnt make you delusional or egotistical because growing up im sure we all associated god with this being outside of us who is better than us and yada yada

i do believe in god still, meaning source, but i believe that god/source gave us all His abilities. we are able to create as well as He can.

so, how can you sit here and tell me that you dont deserve anything good?

“If your conception of yourself is less than that which you claim as true of God, you have robbed God” (i think neville said this im not sure)

now tell me what you would associate god with? for me it is:

pure unconditional love, the almighty creator, limitlessness, pure forgiveness

you already have all this within you but “your refusal to believe this is the only reason you do not see it” (-neville)

you do not have to BECOME limitless, or BECOME a master manifestor because you already ARE everything you desire

but sora why cant i see proof of this?

if you are just starting out, lack in persisting or you have had hard circumstances and fail to believe that you truly are the one and only creator, you might have to persist even more and fully embody yourself as that which you seek to be

but sora this all sounds too good to be true

we live in an epoch right now where there is a martian impulse situated from the time of jesus christ meaning that earth right now is dominated with the need to work hard, to compete, to fight because what is mars associated with? war, aggression, heavy masculinity

humans used to live in an epoch - lemuria / kinda atlantis until they lost their shit and became overly concerned with technology like how we are rn - where it was extremely natural to manifest. telepathy, levitation, full control of one’s body was completely normal because it is a human’s TRUE nature to be in line with divine consciousness meaning to be less dense (less concerned with the physical world)

this power hasnt left us, if it sounds too good to be true as it once did for me, it means that you havent completely let go of the conditioning that society put in you because why would the elite want you to realise your true power?

but i am telling you right now that you are powerful. idk if u r a small town girl from ohio named betsy, u r POWERFUL because you are made of the same consciousness that god is made of.

now i had made this post initially to offer support for people going through bad things so ill go back to that rn

you are not alone. this blogger named vesora (shes pretty cool) is here for you. we do not need to know each others names, faces or livelihoods, just simply the fact that you are aware of my existence and i of yours (yes i check my notes and manifest the best for everyone), we are set and bonded. for humans share a special connection that others cant replicate.

i love you, if you havent heard it in a while or if you wanna hear it again. i love you and i love how you are trying even if things are hard but remember success is guaranteed for that is the gift given to you as soon as you were born. i see you, i dont care if you feel unseen, unloved, unworthy; i see you, i love you, i know you are worthy. and since all humans are one - one consciousness - u love urself too. just accept you do. ପ(๑ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ଓ

yes u can be like tanjiro too

#law of assumption #loa #loass #law of belief #lawofassumption #law of abundance #Law of Attraction #manifestation #manifest #manifesting #self concept #sc #subconciousmind #subconscious #subliminals #master manifestor #void #void state #atlantis #lemuria #god state #angel numbers #neville #neville goddard #joseph murphy #alan watts #god

[anglespin]

DUDE, THE DRAGONS YOU TAKE INSPO FROM ARE SO COOL?? Woahhhh, now I have two new games to reference from. Personally, I take a lot of reference from DOTA: Dragon's Blood and a little bit of Dragon's Dogma for the dragon heart/weakness idea. (Been having a dragon au brewing in my head for RE ngl) How do you think your Leons would've got infected? I'm just asking cause usually people do something along the lines of 'this guy got infected and turned into a dog hybrid'! Or something like that. (Genetics would apply to that too, possibly???) I guess this also applies to Las Plagas Leon, but honestly the way he could've got infected could be very different from RE4/RE4R if you want to go that route. (Honestly this goes for all you hybrid Leons in general, so if you wanna answer don't complicate it too much so I don't make your brain or something die bc of me 😭)

JUST WANTED TO ASK THISSSSS!!

Receives your heart and throws millions back at you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I havent really seen anything for those two games you've mentioned... I'd love to try Dragon's Dogma though I think?

I grew up on Dragon Age so those two dragons got a special place in my heart. The ArchDemon is crazy awesome and spooky looking!!! I also love Flemmeth's dragon design as well, but I didn't use hers for anything.

My plaga Leon specifically was infected through RE4-- just with a major twist and fuckery on my part.

Leon was given a Queen Plaga instead of a normal one in order to subdue his will far easier. Saddler had known based on what he'd been told by his people that Leon was formidable and unstoppable... so he ordered Menendez to "convert" him with one. Also Saddler was very interested in expanding the holy body's hierarchy (not in a weird, breedy way though) since the Queen had no host that could take it's will and power. This is based on the Remake version of events because I haven't played OG4 yet... I have it on my pc.

Krauser's own actually reacts to the Queen Plaga

The Plaga he was given hadn't been killed when he was treated... instead it had gone dormant in shock. The treatment wasn't in time and also the plaga was just too strong to be taken out. It re-emerges once he's in the United States during his quarantine post-mission.

The US government was indeed very interested in the Plagas once they were informed of them... and Leon having a Queen specimen was very... promising. Especially because the Queen is independent from Saddler and that means Leon can command soldiers. (Which is why I have BOW armor Leon... He's deployed with Verdugos on missions. Also I want to have Leon vs. Chris at some point w it cause it sounds SUPER COOL!!! Chris wouldn't know its Leon though hehe)

C-Virus.... I've always liked to use C-virus for shit so I was like: Government experiments on Leon a little bit in some super soldier program designed to use Las Plagas as biological enhancements. They create their own Verdugos and Leon can command them as a Queen bee can. They also discover that C-Virus and Plagas are pretty compatible. It gives Plaga Leon the ability to change as far as needed... and revert back without much issues.

Leon's DNA is used for alot of the projects so everything is actually traceable back to him

Plaga Leon is actually not that strong. Chris can still go toe to toe easily with him. He's only stronger when he's more transformed... then uhhh survive :3c

The BSAA heavily pushes into investigations of the US Government and eventually the DSO over Human Rights violations among other things involving the creation and use of BOW's for their own interests. Chris actually pressures Leon over it alot... but Leon is utterly terrified of saying anything because its extremely dangerous and top secret information (also he was ahem.. conditioned to not spare a peep).

The Magenta eyes were an intentional design choice because red is kinda corny imo and also i thought it was cool :3c

KSDFJSLKFJSL AAAA HEARTS!!!

#angle's inbox archive

[sentientgopro]

So, the other day, I told the first other person I know IRL that I cracked, over a month after it happened, and it was, well, weird.

The reason for it being this person in particular was that I know, damn well, they get it. Hell, they're a massive egg themselves, their words, not mine. So I knew if I was gonna tell anyone, they had to be first.

I didn't wanna outright bring it up to them if I could avoid it, so I started with small hints every now and again, like being a little too careless with keeping my phone close to me while I had an r/egg_irl or r/traaaaaa... post on my feed. They commented on it when they saw egg irl, I told them Im not an egg, they looked at me as if to say "yeaahhh sure about that buddy" and I followed up by saying an egg is someone who hasn't realised it, And I realised a month ago.

Idk if I wasn't clear enough, it was kinda loud in the room, of whether they thought I was joking, but they didn't really react to it at the time.

It wasn't until we went on a walk to get lunch a week or so later, and they kinda got into something a bit personal out of the blue, and it really set the tone of "we dont normally talk about shit but we can do that right now." As it goes, the thing they were talking about could feed kinda well into me being more upfront with what I was trying to say. I repeated the same "Im not an egg" trick I did last time but clearer, and we had a back and forth exchange of

"But In a cis way right?"

"No."

"But in a-"

"No."

"...

...

...But in a-"

"no."

and it kinda seemed to catch them off guard a bit, being so upfront with what I was saying. As I said, they say themself that they're a massive egg, as a joke, ofcourse. But I think they were so suprised by me doing that because they feel the same way but are down so many layers deep in "in a cis way, still cis tho". And it kinda makes me wonder if me being so upfront and honest with myself about it will help them be honest to themself. Either way, I feel like I'm starting to read too much into someone elses emotions and make assumptions based on nothing.

Other than the initial suprise, they didn't really react much and have much else to say, and I really think thats a good outcome? Like, they get my situation, I can't start transitioning for a while, so they understand that I'm not really trans yet, Im just telling them how I feel, and kinda reacted like that was the case. The most they said was when I was talking about how I just kinda gotta manage it for now until I can move out and they said "Fuck it, we ball" and I was just like. Exactly, you get exactly what I mean.

So its weird, because while it feels like a massive deal to me and feels kinda anticlimactic, I dont really want to be treated like its a massive deal yet? Because really, nothing has or will change for a long time, and thats part of the reason I havent come out to more people yet, because its just gonna be awkward to continue like I never said anything afterwards. But this was good.

So, this has been a fairly aimless log just generally talking about my first experience kinda coming out as trans (not my first experience of coming out, plenty of people know Im Ace) so I wanted to write down my thoughts on it. After so many posts like this, it still feels kinda silly, but I guess the whole point of blogs is that theyre kinda like public diaries? idk.

Its also worth noting this was part of one of my 3 goals for this year, to start kinda coming out to people. I doubt Ill tell anyone else, maybe one other person I can trust, but idk. As for the other 2, I really havent made a great deal of progress with planning my transition, but thats fine, its January. As for "100%ing Celeste to the best of my ability?" Kind already done after 40hrs and just over a month of having it. I thought thatd take me alot longer lmfao. So, update to that one, lets say, Strawberry Jam done up to expert lobby? Sure, why not.

#personal logs #196 #transgender #transfem

[single-malt-scotch]

i have watched bdubs and scar and so im gonna talk abt SL again like i did before. obvs spoilers!

i keep my posts pretty meta/only about the game, its mechanics, balance etc so i have no bias on players own actions. but i do want to talk about players and the final moments for a minute here!

obvs i like bdubs a lot and hes been very good at getting to almost the finals in all the series. hope ppl realize that more. if he had more hearts like scar did im sure he could of have gotten further too. etho's ep isnt out but i saw him die in scar's and scar's ep was wild for sure. i mean damn, there was hardly a way etho could have escaped scar when he landed right on top of him, insane. obvs i dont have a view on the others i havent watched but it was interesting to see how they ganged up in this series for the end. scar winning made me happy too, hes a really good player!!

bbut onto the gameplay. i dont wanna repeat myself so im kinda using this as an overall conclusion + specific thoughts about the finale.

its been established clearly that mods assign specific tasks to people at times. and the warden/wither + bogey were not something i enjoyed. this season felt way too "directed" as it went on... and i also think the tasks ability to grant you so much good stuff (a LOT of hearts) is what kept everyone out of being red so easily! which is probably why they did the bogey zombies. which is really just poor balance that no one clearly tested (i recall grian implying before that they dont really test anything but dont quote me on that). maybe a way to have improved that would have been reds were the only ones to gain hearts, and yellow/greens could not. i knew from the start that the heart giving mechanics this season were kind of pointless or overpowered. gifting one heart? really...? that doesnt add up to much of anything in the long run imo unless you manage to get hearts from multiple people. and then on top of that you get hearts back from the secret keeper too. i would have loved if this season was simply "no regen and thats it!" like a sorta UHC deal where you only can heal with specific items (and not 30 hearts prob? bc i understand the tasks were kind of a way to possibly make them die).

on big forced tasks it only made sense with this episode, since everyone is red, so i dont mind that. but again.... they had to force this to happen which is annoying to me. also in terms of balance i really wished they bring back strict rules on enchantments because that also gets frustrating to watch. but perhaps i just like fairness in combat due to watching so much UHC, which also is a death game.

the other issues i had were with reds and red tasks. as pointed out they forced reds in the previous sessions but no one had any time to do red tasks?? and admittedly it was kind of boring bc people couldnt interact about it without failing. but they could not team up properly and i think that is what red life is all about. all the reds coming together because they *need* to face yellows and greens, and hunt people down. but instead the few reds there had to be alone to do their traps, another social issue with this series where tasks often pulled people away from others and left them with videos where they were very alone. there being no space for greens and yellows to exist and get hunted is something i think is great in previous seasons too and it just didnt happen. all that getting forced in that one session just didnt flow well to me.

really even trying to look back at episodes, i cant recall any notable interactions between people i enjoyed minus some brief pauses when they were traveling to do their tasks. there just wasnt a lot of typical socializing! and thats what i didnt like with this series. this plus the balance issues of lives just made this series feel messy, and the length of the episodes due to tasks could be kind of boring if the task was boring or even felt too stressful to force them into places where they could just die (these kinds of dangerous tasks given to greens or yellows felt unfair, as if it was trying to force them to die, and as a viewer i wouldnt want the game make my fave die!).

and as i mentioned in a different post, the lack of fixing some issues in multiple seasons is wild to me. this season faced the same issue as limlife where deaths were not in chat. the episode after, they fixed it (still with some bugs). and then it happened again last session.... and they didnt fix it! this is also annoying bc people dont react to the deaths at all which you kind of wanna see you know? actually im not even sure why they still did it this way. i imagined the clock running out made it more complicated for the system of fying to work. but why this season....? seemed like pretty forward deaths. idk the tech side, but they had 3 solid lives like all the other season, and there were never issues with the death messages happening at all.

but anyways. theres multiple parts of this i mentioned above that just made this gimmick feel so messy and unbalanced, and sometimes not super interesting to watch. it was way too complicated some times. i know theyll likely never do a repeat of the old versions but man idk if i cant find myself liking future seasons if they start stacking so much on top of what is a simple concept. it has started to feel like the three lives havent mattered at all/arent really the focus-- the anxiety of having three times. and the stakes become less and less due to some of these new gimmicks (the ability to gain lives in so many easy ways- limlife and secret life- is why imo) makes death feel less of a problem especially when we know how buddy buddy everyone is now. people need to be limited like before, and be more anxious. 3L, LL, and DL had people quickly establishing their friends bc they knew right from the get go that the series really depended on them being alive and nothing else. the only focus was to stay alive and not die. DL was where ppl kinda chilled a bit on alliances bc they knew each other more but, death was still right around the door with health being tied, it still brought a similar kind of anxiety for players.

i do hope people like grian can recognize these issues behind the scenes bc genuine critique for this series/season is important. like i hope they dont brush off the fact "hall monitors" were an issue-- they can ignore them openly in their videos.... but there is a reason why its a problem that started at all. the concept was way too subjective and hard to judge! so id hate for them to decide "eh, lets not listen to them, im gonna keep doing this and not consider the issue for a new season" right? and hour long episodes? thats crazy, and i dont think it was good for a lot of cc imo, because it made me way less likely to watch or even finish others' episodes. i hope that makes sense... stakes need to be raised, and i think limlife still achieved that to some degree because time was still very sensitive and risky to take. but then SL comes in bringing way too many things that keep them alive far too easily, leaving very little concern as long as they got their task in.

and last thing is from the outside pov i get concerned about this season happening only 6 months after the last one. because that would very very easily cause a burn out/inability to make more gimmicks real quick. i find this particularly odd bc this season too place through multiple holidays...! not sure if they thought this one through very well. considering how much limlife changed things in a way that was a bit more complicated, and then have SL with even more going on.... id just be worried about how much new stuff would even be made after this.

before this season started i was thinking to myself that i would be fine if this was the last one (it was speculation off some posting 3L compilations that was being me think itd be 'over' bc that was the first season). and truly i would be fine if they stopped forever for for a long time. i dont want to start disliking this series if they keep going in this direction... i will ALWAYS enjoy seeing these people play together and it will no doubt keep me watching but, i would hope that i will enjoy what they do for the next seasons and not fall down this path of convoluted, unbalanced and complicated concepts.

#secret life spoilers

[queenie-blackthorn]

50% into kotlc, here are some thoughts ive had since the 25% mark :D

@aylin-hijabi @that-multi-fandom-hijabi sorry for tagging yall a lot lmao

first thing that comes to mind thats plot-related n not character-related is prentice. he was exiled 12 years ago, same age as sophie. its so obviously not a coincidence. tho i wonder whats up w him n tiergan (idk how to spell lmao i feel like thats wrong)

also, i wonder just how strong sophie is. like, the way she knocked fitz into the wall ??? thats her not knowing the full extent of her powers. i have a feeling shes always gonna be one of those main characters whos extremely powerful but constantly throughout the series she finds new abilities she has. kinda like percy jackson

im also realizing how stupid ill seem if im just overanalysing everything and my guesses are too far-fetched or too deeply thought out to really mean anything lololol

moving to character-related, i adore dex. he seems kinda spiteful tho ??? esp towards fitz. thats prolly bc the vacker family is apparently rlly famous n shit n meanwhile dexs parents were a bad match. still dont rlly get what that means. i feel like theres more to him. also his crush on sophie is adorable

KEEFE. nothing, just... keefe. havent seen much but from what i HAVE seen, hes hilarious. i remember aylin mentioning that hes like leo valdez in that theyre both hot, funny, and traumatized... still waiting on the 'traumatized' part. she also said hes less major in this book n more major in the second book, so maybe ill find out then

midterms are gonna go wrong just wait i just know it

biana seems acc genuine in wanting to be friends w sophie. but there was one point when she was talking to sophie n there was smth like a glare for a moment ?? idk kinda sus to me. maybe im overthinking it cause i cant think of a possible motive

marella seems cool. in the art, shes absolutely gorgeous, but so is everyone in this goddamn book. also notable that the first time i saw her name i misread it as 'redneck' 💀💀💀

stina is a bitch. nothing else to say, except that she looks terrifyingly like me? except different eye color n i wear glasses loll. i hope to see some character development cause i personally hate the trope of "token mean girl" in books (like drew tanaka or zoya nazyalensky) cause theyre so one dimensional n boring (although zoya does become majorly more likeable throughout the grishaverse books, im hoping to see the same in stina)

irrelevant but the amount of times sophie is ending up in the infirmary reminds me of a roleplay w my friends from like three years ago oml the nostalgia (cause there would at all times be at least one character in the infirmary injured or nearly dead bc we needed that drama to keep the rp going LMAO)

overall, theres not as much to say as there was at the 25% mark. (i feel like theres more i wanna say but i cant think of anything.) prolly cause since then, the book has mainly been abt learning abt the elves' world n culture. i think by the 75% point im gonna have a lot more to say, n then ill post the final update thingie when im 100% done w the book

ill be 75% done in 89 pages, but the last day of midterm is tomorrow, so god knows how long thatll take me :') i promise to try thooo

oh also galvins a bitch but i feel like she has trauma fsr idk shes just giving

#kotlc thoughts #kotlc #first time read

[the2amrevolution]

Reasons why I'm less consistent on tumblr again/have been most of the year, in mostly chronological order

The worsening of my illness last fall, spending time researching, dealing with doctors, etc

Being removed from a parallel community for vague reasons and knowing that most of the people behind that are still linked with me here but having no way of knowing who among them are holding some sort of grudge against me for unknown reasons

Needing time to figure out the right combination of supplements I need to heal myself plus the fatigue induced by that healing

Quite a bit of that fatigue making me unable to focus on anything that required subtitles to understand for several weeks

Reaching a stage in healing where I can tolerate sitting for longer periods again and multiple days in a row and being able to do light crafts again and so I want to use that ability to do things I havent been able to

Recognizing that tumblr triggers certain compulsive behaviors in me that are massive time sinks - literally hours spent sat in silence trying to reach "the end" or sorting queued posts - and its best for me to limit how often I come on and how I use the site.

I've had quite a bit of recovery, and it did really pick up in the last month, but there's still a very long way to go and no clear estimate of how full if a recovery or how long recovery may take. That I'm getting better points to me being right, but I still don't have access to a metabolic specialist or anyone willing to do the MRIs I've asked for. I still have at least one "crash day" per week, which has mostly ended up being Sundays, and my ability to do things like household chores or exercise or stand a normal amount or be in high input environments is still very much impaired. My overheating and excessive sweating have had the most improvement, but I'm still not at a point where I can fully wear my hair down the whole time I'm out of the house - I'm just not usually drenched in sweat anymore unless a store is especially hot versus any store at any temperature. Honestly, I'm probably about where I was this time last year in terms of overall ability, but that is several orders better than I ended last year.

#my life #disability #medicine #chronic fatigue

[mister13eyond]

🍓, 🍄, 🍬!

how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

god, i think i was writing fanfiction so far back that i don't remember how i first "learned" about it- I used to hand-write stories in my notebook in elementary school about my favorite characters hanging out, before I ever really even had internet access. my sister and i used to make up really elaborate scenarios about yu gi oh and sailor moon and dbz characters, and I'd write stories and draw little comics... I think I learned other people did the same thing around middle school, when i started making friends who Also wrote fic and drew fanart. I think the first time i ever PUBLISHED anything was back in ye olde ff.net days, likely also in middle school.

tl;dr as long as i've known how to write, i've written fic!

share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

oh lord what headcanons HAVEN'T i shared? ok ok, here's a giodiadop one, since i havent talked about that ot3 in a while: doppio cannot STAND giorno at first. he sees him as a threat, and more than that- he doesn't like that giorno can see through him so easily. he's used to it with the Boss, of course, but something about Giorno seeing directly into his heart is Unsettling, like he's not supposed to be there.

giorno, of course, takes this as a challenge, and immediately devotes his full effort into operation Get Doppio To Like Me. It takes... a while, but eventually he finds their shared interest in biology and entomology and once he gets into that, Doppio can't HELP but be excited to have someone to talk about this with

post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

giorno is, genuinely, a bit manipulative. he has good intentions, but he also has a way of Knowing what people want to hear him say, or what they're looking for- that insight and uncanny ability to read people doesn't switch OFF. he justifies it to himself with good intentions, but winning over everyone on the bucci gang was a deliberate, targeted series of moves to get them to trust him. that doesn't mean he doesn't sincerely care about them- he does!- but he knew he Needed them to respect him to achieve his dream, and he deliberately did things to earn their trust that he knew would get through to them.

#please note that i say the latter as a fan and devotee of giorno #listen: i love him too much to allow him to be unproblematic and pure-hearted #i love him i NEED to acknowledge his grey morality #the brando is still in there!!! #i just think a lot of people really want giorno to be good and heroic and i get it #but i love him being.... kind of a bad person #kind of manipulative. kind of detached. always seeing the outcome and the end goal. #he cares deeply about his team but he's not afraid to spin the truth just right to sway them to his side #ask meme #headcanons

[obitv]

compiling all my un-witness protection hcs into one post because. well why not

deadwood as whole is a fairly small town. one small school, the only highschool is actually outside the town. everyone from deadwood gets the bus out there and theyd all know Of eachother if they dont know everyone personally

because deadwood is Fucking Weird kids from there struggle fitting in once they go to the highschool. while a lot of them would be in larger more typical cliques, they tend to group together whenever they can

abilities like seeing/talking to spirits arent.. uncommon? its not like everyone has them and generally it isnt Spoken Of but theres a much higher concentration there than youd find in any other city or town in prime

which is how the upp formed! group of highschoolers from deadwood, all from different social groups who would never typically interact all realise they have some sort of Sight

i just realised theyyre literally like in scoobydoo. this wasnt on purpose oh god

anyway. the group was probably formed both by william (wants to investigate the goings-on but cant actually talk to spirits, only see them) and a more popular, extroverted girl who like probably had a bit of a crush on him but also agreed that something needed to be done and they could do it

just bc deadwood doesnt have heroes doesnt mean teenagers wont get hero complexes! erm

onto the actual upp! theres around 5-6 of them. 2 girls, 3 or 4 guys. i havent fully decided on a number, maybe one guy drops in and out.. for future consideration

im hesitant to give her names but one girl Is called mary. not the extroverted girl, id say shes more of their navigator and is big into survivalism. urban trespassing girlie

theres totally a jock. like there has to be. hes actually a lot smarter than people give him credit for

i think for abilities.. william has the weakest Sight but his investigative skills and motivation make up for that. also sometimes he throws sticks that helps

another one of the guys has the strongest abilities. he can see them vividly and can speak to anything that CAN speak. probably in the same boat as william, he'd be an outcast without the upp. maybe theyre close friends :)

they dont actually go into the woods unless they have to - theyve grown up on stories of how dangerous they can be and how easy it is to get lost or turned around or just Taken, even in groups

typically it was graveyards, old buildings, maybe a trainyard or something idk whats in america

if they were dealing with aware spirits, typically all they needed was some sort of easier seance/exorcism, maybe just having someone to tell their story to, maybe a mystery solved

theres monsters in deadwood too, though. procedure for them varied wildly from RUN AWAY to finding out who they once were and helping them back to that, and then the typical seance/exorcism, to just asking it to go away

after williams incident, they dont fully drift apart. maybe for a while after he left, until they were sure whatever curse he had brought on them was gone with him. they tone down the investigative side of things, and have less cases as a result, but they still do what they can

cant wait for all of this to get decanonised ^_^ itll be awesome. um hope u enjoyed. feel free to ask more details bc i left a lot out actually to try focus on the group instead off Just william. a few of my general deadwood hcs are in here so you can ask abt those too ^_^

#mypost #primedefenders #deadwood #prime defenders #william wisp #unwitness protection program #wow skeppy maintagging.... shes insane #long post #i did proofread any of this sorry. if something is horribly wrong please lmk