#I can not stress enough how little patience I have about this issue | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

allysunny · 3 months

Note

Hello!! Can i request a 14 + 19 + n for Miguel? remember to take care of yourself as always :)) , luv from anon! 🎀

"You're the best thing that has ever happened to me” + “I’ve got you” + Pregnancy x Miguel O’Hara

Words: 4.1k words

Warnings: Beach day! Fluff, pregnancy, mentions of body image issues, mention of suggestive themes, some light angst (if you squint, really), soft Miguel, he's an incredible husband <3 If I missed anything, let me know, I'm terrible at tagging! Not proofread - oops!

A/N: Hey everyone!!! I'm back!!! Wow, I could post two works this week? Insane!!! Well, it was a real blast writing this. I mean it, I got it ready in like, a day or two. That's just how much fun I had with this little drabble! It was just so cute, and I'm a sucker for soft Miguel. I missed writing for him!!!

Once again, I ask your patience. I promise I haven't given up on writing, I'm just really, really busy hahaha.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this! I certainly did <3

“These are so good…” you mumbled, biting into the treat in your hand.

Miguel, standing next to you, winced and his face contorted in a slight expression of disgust. “Cream cheese with anchovies?” he asked, “Yes, mi vida. I’m sure it’s delicious.”

You kept on biting at your sandwich, a content smile on your lips.

“How’d you know this is exactly what I’d want right now?” you asked, mouth stuffed. Miguel winced again. You knew it bothered him when people spoke with their mouth full, and yet he said nothing, simply happy to watch his loving wife indulge in her (honestly appalling) sandwich.

“Call it a lucky guess. All of your cravings so far have been disgusting, I thought I might as well mix whatever we had left on the fridge, and you’d enjoy it.”

You stared at him, dumbfounded. Seriously? Were you and your cravings that predictable that he could just mix whatever two ingredients there were in your fridge? But as soon as you gave it some more thought, the notion made you laugh. Perhaps it didn’t mean you were predictable, only that your husband knew you that well.

You ran a hand on top of your pregnant belly, giving it a few pats before returning to your sandwich.

“Thank you. Our baby seems to be enjoying it as well,” you tell him with a soft smile.

Miguel returns it and bends down to press a soft kiss on top of your stomach. “Well, that makes me happy.”

You two sat there. You, enjoying your ridiculous sandwich, Miguel enjoying your company. He’d been meaning to take you on a small beach day for a while now, but his work kept getting in a way. After a few tweaks in his schedule (courtesy of Lyla), and a few missions handled by other people (Jessica and Peter B. had been kind enough to catch those anomalies by themselves), he’d managed to snag you away on a sunny Saturday morning.

You had everything you could possibly need. Lots (and lots) of food, an insane amount of sunscreen (that Miguel insisted on applying on your skin every 20 minutes), a few books to keep you entertained (even though you’re only spending the day, and not a whole week), lots of refreshments, and four beach umbrellas for you to sit under (that occupied far too much space, something you’d stressed a lot at home. But it’s not like Miguel listened).

“Everything alright, mi vida?” He asked you.

You nodded and wiggled your feet, relishing on the feeling of the soft sand against them. “As alright as it was five minutes ago, Miggy. I promise I’m fine. There’s no need to worry about me.”

He only sighed in response and shook his head.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Can I get you anything? Would you like something from the beach bar? Fresh juice? Any other beverage? An ice cream?” Miguel looked positively adorable when he worried. Ever since you told him you were pregnant, he started treating you as if you were made of glass, and as soon as you started showing, he went actually crazy.

His wife can’t lift a box – can’t bend down and possibly hurt the baby. He’ll do all of the heavy lifting. In fact, he’ll do all of the lifting.

She can’t do the dishes – spending far too long on her feet can tire her out, and he couldn’t have that. He’ll wash everything and get a dishwasher for the days he worked late.

She can’t possibly cook dinner – what if something goes wrong and she gets upset? Stress is not good for the baby. No, let Miguel do all the cooking.

She can’t clean either – let him handle it.

The point was, Miguel was an extremely protective man. He loved you more than anything. And now you were carrying the world’s most precious cargo: his son.

So why wouldn’t he treat you with the utmost care?

“Miguel, I told you, I’m fine.” You sighed, finishing your sandwich. Before you could say something, Miguel had handed you two napkins and a bottle of fresh orange juice. You took the napkins, cleaned your mouth, and he quickly grabbed a bottle of water, presenting both to you.

“Water? Juice? Which do you prefer, my love?” he asked.

You just shook your head. It was pointless to say anything. Better to simply enjoy it.

“Juice is fine.” You took the bottle and brought it to your lips, which earned a slight groan from him. Safe to say, your pregnancy had just made Miguel even more enamoured with you and your body. The accentuated curves, the softness and plushness of your skin, all for Miguel to grasp and tug and pull. Your tender breasts that had grown, and he’d already spent hours twisting and helping relieve some of your pain and soreness, your calves that often needed to be massaged – your body had always been a treasure to Miguel, but now that his child was growing inside of it, he was going to do everything in his power to love it more and more.

You looked at him; this look of his was easy to recognise. Crimson eyes low and darkened with desire, tracing every swirl of your tongue over your lips. You blushed furiously. It was flattering to know Miguel wanted you, and even more so to know both his love and lust had only increased with your pregnancy.

“Like what you see, Mister?” you asked, tilting your head, and playing coy.

Miguel loved it when you did that. It did things to him whenever you played hard to get, whenever you pretended not to know the effect you had on him.

“Very much. Te ves bien bonita,” he hummed, dipping his head low to place a kiss on your jaw. You sighed, and he took it as a sign to kiss you further, trailing down your neck.

You were just about to run your fingers through his hair when you remembered where the hell you were.

“M-Miguel!” you breathed out, slowly pulling him away from your body. “Please – we’re in public.”

“No me importa. Que vean.”

“No – Miguel, no.” You giggled and pushed him off you, earning an annoyed huff from him.

“We’re at the beach. We’re not going to give these people a show.”

“Oh, but who told you I don’t want to?” Miguel asked, raising a brow, “I’d like to show all of those idiots staring who the hell you belong to.” His voice was low and raspy, and you felt heat pool in your lower stomach. You shook your head, trying to get these nasty thoughts out of your head. This was supposed to be a nice, innocent beach date! Not fantasizing about your incredibly handsome husband.

“Well,” you spoke, “Too bad. You’re not doing anything.”

Miguel grumbled and got up, shaking his head.

“Always the same. Always ‘We’re in public Miggy!” or, ‘Don’t do that, people are watching Miguel”, or even ‘You can’t fuck me in front all of these people Miguel’!”

Your cheeks heat up and you blushed furiously, embarrassment spreading through your whole body. Your husband wasn’t talking in a particularly low tone, and people had started to look at him. More specifically, women, smirking towards him and licking their lips viciously. Your stomach was about to curl when Miguel spoke his next words, making you forget all about other people.

“One of these days I’ll take you in front of all of them, I’m telling you. Show them you’re mine.”

“Miguel!”

“What?” He turned to look at you, and you could see that stupid smirk of his plastered all over his face. It was no secret that Miguel loved to see you flustered like this.

“Don’t say that out loud, oh my god!”

“Why? It’s not like I’m lying here.” Before you could protest further, Miguel offered you a cheeky smile and nodded his head towards the water. “I’m gonna go for a dive. Do you want to come?”

You shook your head. “No, that’s fine.” It was enough for Miguel to tense up, but you were quick to reply. “It’s fine – I’ll be fine, Miguel, don’t worry. I’ll just stay here under the shade.” You tried offering him a reassuring smile. After all, you weren’t a child, and could take care of yourself just fine.

Miguel eyed you for a while, before sighing.

“Fine,” he said, “But if you need anything – “

“I’ll let you know. Don’t worry.”

“And I won’t be long. I promise. I just need to freshen up.”

“Miguel,” you said his name softly, “It’s fine. I promise I’ll be fine.”

He nodded and ran towards the water. You watched him as he looked around and the water tickled his feet.

You then looked around, taking the scenery in. It was a lovely sunny day. There were no clouds in the sky, and nothing but a small breeze could be felt brushing your hair. It was the perfect beach day, and you were so glad Miguel had taken today off to be with you. You missed him when he was gone, and although you knew what he did was extremely important (after all, your husband was Spider-Man), it was only natural to long for him when he was away. Especially with these pesky pregnancy hormones.

You returned your gaze to him, and that’s when you saw her.

A woman, eyeing Miguel up and down, shamelessly.

You raised an eyebrow. For the looks of it, it seemed as if she had been looking at him for a while. It was clear she was looking him up and down, and you felt a nasty feeling forming on your stomach, something green and envious and nasty.

The woman approached him, and your eyes lingered on her, on her perfect silhouette. Her legs were long and lean, her stomach toned, and her bikini sure did wonders showing off her boobs. Along with the jealousy you felt clawing at your skin, came another feeling, that instead of making you angry, just made you sad.

Miguel had seemed to notice her, because he turned to face her and the two started to talk. She was all smiles and giggles, tilting her head slightly and – was she actually swaying her hips? You huffed. Miguel was no stranger to flirtation. Women shot their shots with him all the time. Well, tried to. He was always quick to shut them down, mentioning his lovely wife, who happened to now be carrying his baby.

You knew him to be faithful. You knew he loved you and only you. You knew he would never hurt you or cheat on you or cause you any distress.

So why was it that you felt so unworthy of him when you two were out?

You looked at the woman again.

She was gorgeous, with perfect skin, flawless hair, and a great fucking body.

And here you were, sitting down on a chair you could barely get out of, eating a sandwich you were sure was positively disgusting to everyone else, feeling big and fat and ugly and simply not enough for him. The thought nearly brought you two tears. Miguel always assured you of how much he loved you, of how much he adored you and found you the most beautiful woman in the world.

And yet you couldn’t help but wipe away one or two tears that spilled across your cheeks, dark thoughts clouding your mind. You were surrounded by beautiful women, all of them reminding you of how much less you felt, with their perfect bodies and normal stomachs that did not weigh a ton because of the baby growing inside of them, with long legs that elegantly strutted instead of awkwardly waddling from one room to the other. Would Miguel be better off with any of these women? Would they look better on his arm, on his bed, on his life?

It was simply too much. You grabbed your nearby dress and placed it on top of your belly, hiding it. Then, you moved to grab your book, trying to focus on your reading. It was nearly impossible, and when Miguel returned after a while, you did your best not to look at him.

“Hey,” he said. “Everything okay?”

You refused to meet his eye.

“Mhm. Just peachy.”

“Are you cold?”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Then why are you covering yourself?”

“Just protecting the baby from the heat,” you mumbled. What a terrible excuse.

Miguel hummed before you. He bent down and grabbed his towel, shaking the sand from it (away from you, of course), before setting it down on the spot next to yours, and laying on it. Now that he was up close, you could see every freckle on his body, every muscle, every droplet that fell down his arms, his legs, his back. He was as charming as ever.

And you had never felt more inadequate. Unconsciously, you brought your dress closer, hiding your chest too.

"¿Seguro que estás bien, mi vida?" Miguel asked again, looking up at you. Why the hell were you covering your body? Were you cold? It was rather warm outside, that couldn’t be it. Did you feel sick?

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

Miguel followed your eyes. They landed on the woman that had tried to strike up a conversation with him earlier.

And then everything fell into place.

The way you were hiding your body from him, the way you looked somewhere else so that you wouldn’t have to meet his gaze, how sheepishly you were acting.

And it genuinely upset Miguel. Because how could you ever think that you weren’t the most gorgeous woman out there? That your body wasn’t worthy of worship and adoration and idolisation? His fingers slowly crept up next to you, and he softly pulled the dress away from your body, exposing your belly, your thighs, your legs, your beautiful skin and being.

“Miguel, gimme that back,” you mumbled, trying to take the dress back from him. He pulled back his arm and the dress was immediately out of your reach. You huffed, hugging your hands around your body, as if you could hide it from him. You couldn’t. And Miguel was heartbroken that you thought you had to.

“Tell me what’s wrong, mami.” He said, hand caressing your thigh. He’d have to coax the insecurity out of you.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m just cold – “

“It’s so hot, we could almost fry an egg on that cute belly of yours.” Miguel said. He wasn’t afraid to talk about your body, especially not after you’d gotten pregnant. You’d felt insecure once or twice, but he had always reassured you of how beautiful you were, and how radiant you looked, even with that big pregnant belly of yours. And for the past few months, you’d been doing amazing, feeling confident about your body, and loving your new figure and everything it meant for your future alongside Miguel. But perhaps the beach had taken some of that confidence away.

You sighed and looked away. Unfortunately for you, Miguel reached out with his hand and turned your face towards his. Nowhere to hide.

“Vale. Suelta la sopa,” he spoke.

There was nowhere to hide, nowhere to look to aside from those gorgeous chocolate-crimson eyes of his. You trusted Miguel, you really did. So why were you having such a hard time saying this? Perhaps you didn’t want him to feel like he didn’t love you enough. You knew he loved you. You knew he found you attractive. What if you thought you were being dramatic? What if he thought you were too high maintenance, still feeling insecure even though all he did was reassure you of his love? It’s not like you can help your feelings.

“I don’t want to bother you Miggy,” you replied, voice soft. “It’s fine.”

“You’ll never bother me. You know that, right? Now, come on. Tell me what’s wrong.”

You bit your bottom lip, and then nodded.

“It’s just… I just feel so…” You scrambled for words.

“Take your time,” Miguel said to reassure you.

“I feel so unworthy.”

“Unworthy? How so, mi alma?”

“I’m not – my body is not – I’ve changed, Miguel. My body has changed so much. I don’t look like them – “ you nudged your head towards the water, where the gorgeous woman had been moments ago. “And I never will. And look at you – you’re so handsome. You’ve always been. And next to you, I feel… I feel inadequate. I don’t feel beautiful enough for you… And I know what you’re gonna say. That I am, and that you love me, and that you love this child. And so do I. More than anything. But sometimes, I just feel… I feel like you’d look better with someone like that on your arm.”

Miguel listened attentively to each word you said. Just as he figured out, you were feeling down because of your appearance.

“Honey,” he started, letting go of your chin. “You are right. I will say that you look beautiful, and that you’ll always look beautiful to me.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but he was quicker.

“Uh-uh – let me finish. As I was saying, you are beautiful. And I love you. Sure, your body has changed, but it has changed because you’re carrying our baby. You’re carrying a child. Mi vida, do you know how miraculous that is?” His voice was laced with nothing but adoration, and so were his eyes. “You’re carrying a life inside of you. You’re going to bring a life into this world. That is such a beautiful thing. Your body has simply stretched to accommodate our little one. And that is such a lovely thing. It’s a miracle, mi vida. You’re a miracle.”

Your eyes quickly filled with tears, and Miguel cupped your face with both of his hands.

“I couldn’t care less about other women. Whatever they have, whatever they might offer, it will never compare to what you offer me every day. To the love you so selflessly give me every single day, to the greatest gift you’re about to give me. A child. You’re going to bring my child into the world. You say you feel inadequate next to me – Mierda, I feel inadequate next to you. You have chosen me to be the father of your child, and you’re doing all of this to carry it and bring it to the world safely. And all I can do is watch. I can’t take away your pain, I can’t take away your discomfort. I’m the lucky one. I mean – hell, you could’ve had any guy in the world, but you chose me. You chose this awkward, nerdy, standoffish man who couldn’t even tell you he loved you the first time he kissed you because he was so bad dealing with his own feelings.”

You giggled as you recalled the memory, and your heart warmed. Miguel laughed along with you. He’d come very far with you. He was a man of logic, of reason, never letting emotions cloud his judgement. Which made everything infinitely harder when he met you – you, who broke down his walls and made it impossible to think and be reasonable. He’d come so far, and it was all thanks to you.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me,” Miguel continued. “This child is the greatest thing that could ever happen to us. I know that I can’t take away your insecurities just like this. And it kills me that you can’t see yourself the way I do. But please, please believe me when I tell you that you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my life. The kindest, smartest. The most miraculous of them all, carrying a child all by yourself.”

Tears ran down your cheeks, and you sobbed softly. Miguel scooted closer to you, and with his help, you got up from your chair and sat down on his lap. His arms were instantly all over you, one of them bringing you close, the other trailing patterns on top of your stomach.

“I just… I feel so ugly sometimes… And then we came to the beach, and it was supposed to be a lovely day just between the two of us, but then I saw that woman, and she looked gorgeous, and I’ll never be her…” You said in between sobs.

Miguel caressed your head and dropped a kiss on your forehead.

“You forgot the most important part.”

You looked up, confusion in your features.

“She will never be you.”

Your eyes widened softly, and you parted your lips.

“She will never be the woman I love. She will never be the woman who puts up with me every day, even when I’m cranky and grouchy. She will never be the woman who wakes me up with kisses in the morning because she wants me to start my day in the best way possible. She’ll never be the woman who packs my lunch and writes sweet notes. She will never be the woman who loves me unconditionally despite my many, many flaws. She will never be you. Never.”

You smiled through your tears and the invisible rope that tugged at Miguel’s heart loosened its hold. You were smiling. Thank God.

“She’ll never be me?” You repeated.

“No one will ever be you.” He replied, closing the gap between your faces, and taking your lips in his. You kissed him softly, cupping his jaw with your hand and trailing your fingers through his head with the other. When you pulled away for air, there were tears in your eyes once again.

“I’m sorry for being like this… Sometimes, the hormones, they just…”

Miguel quickly cut you off.

“You don’t need to apologize. I will never get tired of saying how much I love you, of telling you how much you mean to me. It’s okay to not be fine. Isn’t that what you tell me?”

You nodded with a small smile.

“Then I’m telling it to you too. It’s okay to feel like this. And I know I can’t understand the depth of your feelings. I can’t know for sure what you’re going through. But I’ll always be by your side. I’ll always be right here to help you. I love you, honey. I really do. I’m the luckiest man alive.”

If someone were to tell you a few years ago that Miguel would be capable of saying these sorts of things, you’d have scoffed and told them to fuck off. When you met him, Miguel didn’t do feelings. He never opened up, never spoke about himself or his emotions. But then you came along and taught him how to feel, how to love. You taught him it was okay to be vulnerable, to be taken care of, to be loved. You loved him all the more for it, your scary, mean, giant of a man who turned into putty whenever his eyes landed on you.

“I love you. Thank you so much for this. I mean it.” You said, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. He smelled like the beach, like the soft breeze and the warm sun. You placed a kiss there and smiled as soon as the salt of the water hit your tongue.

“I’ve told you, mi vida. I’ve got you.” He said, still tracing patterns on your skin. “I’ll always be here for you. I love you.”

You two remained like this, in each other’s arms for a while.

You didn’t feel the need to get up or go for a swim. Not yet.

For now, all you wanted was to stay in your husband’s arms, feel his heartbeat against yours, sink further into his touch. You looked up and took in the scenery around you. The shining sun, the clear blue sky, the sparkly water. You watched as young couples smiled at each other, groups of friends played around, and families ran after their children. Someday, it’d be you and Miguel, along with your little one.

You realised you didn’t feel insecure anymore. Miguel was right. It was a miraculous thing, to be carrying such a precious thing inside of you. Your child. Miguel’s child. The product of the love and devotion you held for each other. You couldn’t be ashamed of that, could you?

You knew this would be an uphill battle. Your insecurities couldn’t be erased simply overnight. But with Miguel’s arms wrapped tightly around you, you realised that as long as you had him to remind you of all the beautiful things you and this body meant, and how much you two loved each other, it would be okay.

You would be okay.

A/N: And that's it! I hope you guys have enjoyed this little drabble.

Have a wonderful day ahead, everyone!!! <3

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel o'hara scenarios #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara fanfiction #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara x f!reader #miguel o'hara x fem!reader #astv x reader #atsv x you #across the spiderver fanfiction #across the spiderverse #miguel spiderman #spiderverse x reader #spiderverse fanfiction #spiderverse x you

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cherriteaa · 3 months

Text

MITSUYA X HIS RUNWAY QUEEN

Mitsuya x Black fem reader

A/n: This was requested!! It was part of a 2 person request so I'll reply to the actual request when I do Smiley's

SPOILED. YOU WILL BE TOTALLY SPOILEDDD BY HIM GOOD GOD.

I'm talking handwritten love notes, handmade plushies and outfits, jewelry, making sure at LEAST ur nails are always done, flowers, everythinggg.

He seems to me definitely the gift giver romantic kind of guy. Esp if you're just as stylish as him. Even when yall are younger, and he hasn't gotten his big designer paycheck yet, he's still finding ways to spoil you. Including learning how to do nails. And he can do ANYTHINGGG you want. French tips, painted designs, charms, different shapes, dip, acrylic, rhinestones, ANYTHING. That man is a master at nail art. And he's starting to get really good with doing your hair. He makes a big thing of it, going to the store the day prior to hair day to get the cut fruit for you and everything. He's SO cute. He's already getting used to doing Mana and Luna's hair, so he's got the patience for it.

Always sends goodmorning/goodnight/checkin texts. He's the easiest communicator ever. I feel like if you guys ever do have arguments, they're shortlived. He's great at getting to the heart of the issue calmly and without using damaging/hurtful words.

He's another cuddly guy. Loves inviting you over afterschool to cuddle and just spend quiet time with eachother before he has to get up again to make sure his sisters are taken care of ect. If you stay over, he's more than grateful if you help him out. Be it with dinner, or with the girls. It takes a huge load off his shoulders. During these times, he likes to come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, resting his cheek against you. Something about you just helping out with / being around his family brings a domestic feel that he adores

He love love LOVES to have you wear his stuff. His clothes, things he's designed, his jewelry, anything. He thinks you look sooo cute

Romantic dates as much as he can manage. He's one of those 'if he wanted to, he would' guys. Not every romantic date has to be expensive. He finds all kinds of new and cute ideas for dates. He likes to keep the relationship interesting, and more importantly, keep you feeling like his princess.

He's never afraid to let people know you're dating. He'll invite you to toman meetings, and he isn't afraid to hold your hand or kiss in public. As far as it isnt anything too steamy, he's totally fine with it

HE'S A COOOOK. That man can definitely cook, and he has a bunch of recipes in his arsenal to keep Mana and Luna from getting bored of foods. He likes to show off and pretend to be some celebrity chef in the kitchen after inviting you over for a meal or something.

He likes to tease a little. All in good nature. He isnt the type of guy to poke at insecurities though. More like screenshotting typos you made, and making fun of long gone slightly embarrassing events like you tripping or something. He never means to make you feel bad, just to get a giggle or two. He's the type of boyfriend who will need his girlfriend to keep him in check sometimes. Not that he's out there starting random arguments, but in the sense that he'll start to overwork himself, and he'll get burnt out if you don't say something. And he'll be really grateful if you do.

Mitsuya is the type of guy to do promise rings, and then melt down the material your ring was made out of to infuse into your wedding band. He'll talk about you with his last name, and he's very open to talking about the future with you. He's one of the best types of guys to have around. He'll never leave you behind, and he'll gently push you just enough when you start slacking on your goals. Not only that, but he's the kind of guy who'll notice you're overworking you're stressed before you notice yourself. He's 10000% husband material, and the best thing about being in a relationship with him is that you both encourage eachother to grow and better yourselves together.

A/n: Requested Mitsuya Hc's! I hope they're to your liking <33

Reblogs, Requests and Comments are appreciated!!

My requests are : Open!

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milkb0nny · 1 year

Note

Heyo! If it's not too much to ask, Could I request Alhaitham with a touch starved reader? That's all! Have a nice day/night! :)

🤍 𝑨𝒍𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒎 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒂 𝒕𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒔/𝒐

note: I waited for a request like this! Gimme more, moreeee!!!

characters: Al Haitham

contents: fluff, gn! reader, cuddling and kisses

warnings: not proofread

🍃... 𝑨𝒍 𝑯𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒎

▫️You can bet on your life that he secretly adores your clingy personality. He feels loved and appreciated whenever you want hugs or want to feel his body.

▫️At first he was overwhelmed with the physical touches you need to feel cherished and it was a little struggle in the beginning. You'd sometimes feel left behind which strained your relationship. Luckily Alhaitham can communicate issues very well with you and since you expressed how much you need him, he's willing to care.

▫️On weekends you'll spend most of the time together. If it is good weather he will pack some lunchboxes and head to a nearby field with you. While he has his books with him, you cuddle in his lap under the sun. On rainy days you stay inside and grab yourselves a blanket.

▫️Alhaitham doesn't mind you laying over him, using him as a mattress or pillow. In fact he is very fond of you being with him. He knows you're safe and you're feeling protected in his presence.

▫️While reading he will sometimes close the book to look at your beautiful face and he'll give you a soft kiss on the cheek.

▫️You're aware he dislikes people who are being too pushy with him so you express your needs in a way to make him feel comfortable with it. You're not mad either when he neglects a hug or kiss after a stressful day. After all you do have these shitty days too and Alhaitham needs some space in a bad mood.

▫️Kaveh often comments on his patience with you. Alhaitham is a preserved man but you twist his mind completely. You can cling on him all day as long as you don't bother him in reading or working you're all good. If Kaveh was you, he'd be dead or thrown out of the house.

▫️At times it happens that the both of you don't see each other for days. It hurts you a lot and you miss him the moment you see him leave. He's you're safe place and it's hard to continue normal housework without him. Surely Alhaitham isn't as cheerful as other people but you always got his back at home.

▫️On reunion you will jump at him, happy to see your beloved man again. Alhaitham missed you as well and this is the time you enjoy a lot: after a period of time not seeing each other he is very touch starved as well.

▫️Imagine you both laying in the bed and he draws circles on your skin with his fingers, while telling you something about his work or businesses. Small gestures like these keep your daily life in tact.

▫️He wraps his arms around you quite often when you are in public to protect you and pull you away from any weird people. No one else except him has the right to touch you.

▫️Alhaitham enjoys cuddling in the morning a lot. When you wake up and your sleepy head just rolls over him he tickles you slightly and then gives you a big hug. On weekends it can take you hours to finally leave the bed since he does enjoy your company so much.

▫️You're glad he's more of an action guy than a man who expresses everything with words. Don't get me wrong he tells you he loves you often but most of his affection comes through touches. You're the right person for him.

▫️Another big positive thing is that he doesn't need to be afraid of making you uncomfortable whenever he seeks your attention.

▫️That you are touch starved is a very nice thing to Alhaitham. Your relationship is balanced and benefits the both of you. You're glad to call yourself his partner and you're grateful for him being so touchy with you as well. Sure, at some days it isn't enough but you two try to communicate your feelings.

#al haitham headcanons #alhaitham #al haitam x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin x reader #genshin impact #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n

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eeunoia · 5 months

Text

ENHYPEN Series

sinag — psh.

chapter three

synopsis: waiting for a great plot twist in your life, the ruthless and powerful mafia boss park sunghoon forced his way in to it.

pairings: park sunghoon x reader

words count: 2.4k

warnings: a contains violence, guns, killings, abuse, obsessive love & other stuff. if you can't take this stuff, feel free to scroll away. let me know if i missed some.

note: not proof read. sorry if it took a while. i was a little busy. i hope you enjoy this chapter and send me some asks or messages. thank you, stay safe.

here ‹ chapter two | chapter four › here

“Here you go.” Jake sat in front of Ni-ki’s table, at his visitor’s chair. His eyes wandered over the younger’s focused face. He’s doing something on his computer, seems very important.

“Thanks, hyung.” Ni-ki says and glanced at him for a bit before resuming back to what he was doing.

“Why do you even need these?” he asks a little curious then pointed over the folder he just threw on his table. “What’s so important about Sunghoon’s men and you ask for their background?” his tone starts to sound suspicious.

Ni-ki shrugs his shoulder off, “Hyung said there’s a rat at one of his men. He asked me to find out who it is.” the younger tilts his head and even grabbed the folder his hyung gave.

Jake’s brows narrowed at what he just heard. “Who would fucking dare betray him? Everybody knows how cruel that man is. They basically sign themself a death penalty at this point.”

“He said the rat snitches him over his Father.”

Jake eyes trailed elsewhere, slowly getting lost of his own thoughts. Ideas came rushing inside his head after hearing about what Ni-ki said. It isn’t new that his father did something to meddle with Sunghoon’s life. He just don’t understand why he tries so hard to make him obey to his commands, when all of them knew nobody can tame Park Sunghoon.

“I guess it has something to do with him searching for that girl, hyung.” the younger stated, eyes never leaving his monitor.

Jake glanced at him, keeping his lips pursed into a thin line. Silenlty listening to what he was saying. It does makes sense since it was very obvious that his father won’t stop pursuing him into marriage with the girl Kwon.

“Aren’t they tired of forcing hyung into that arrangement?” Ni-ki groaned and sighs. “I’m tired for them.”

Jake scoffs, “Inform me if you find out something.”

Ni-ki narrows his brows. “Why?”

“I have a feeling we need to dig deeper about this guy and knowing Hoon, he will execute him right away.” Jake stood up and even fixed his coat.

Ni-ki watches him carefully. “Isn’t it how its suppose to be?” he asks, tone almost sounding so innocent.

Jake sighs and rolls his eyes. He can’t believe how similar Sunghoon and Ni-ki’s attitude when it comes to this things. Their anger issues surely gets the best of them. They want things to be rough and fast. They have the shortest patience out of all of them so he somehow expected this.

“Just inform me.”

Sunghoon went out of his car and marched his way inside his warehouse. It was midnight and the place was so quiet and dark. Inside, one lamp serves as a light and beneath is a man sitting at a chair, his head covered with a cloth. His jaw clenched hard before he swiftly took off his coat, loosening his tie right after.

“Take that damn cloth off.” he firmly said and his men follows.

“S-Sir..” to say that fear reflects the man’s eyes is an understatement. To see Sunghoon’s dark gaze piercing through him was enough to send him to hell. He was beyond terrified.

Sunghoon folds his sleeves up until his elbow. He didn’t waste any time right after and just threw a hard punch over the guy’s face.

Ni-ki whistles and smirks while watching his hyung beat the shit out of this guy. Jake sighed and shut his eyes close out of stress. He stood up and trudges his way towards his raging friend. He can hear him curse hoarsely.

“Sunghoon,” Jake calls his attention.

He didn’t glance at him at all and steps back, catching his breath. The man’s face are covered of blood and almost unrecognizable. He signals something to his men and one approached to hand him a gun. He clicks it and point it over to the man. He didn’t react, probably out of his senses already.

Jake hold his shoulder that made his friend look at him. His brows hardly furrowed, jaw clenching hard, some part of his face and white polo have bloods on them.

“Don’t kill him just yet.”

“And why the fuck should I spare his useless life?”

Jake sighs, already used at his friend’s habit of cursing so much whenever he's mad.

“We need to get some information from him. We might get something useful.”

Sunghoon didn’t budge. “I don’t fucking care what information he has, I want him dead.”

Ni-ki chuckles from the distance, enjoying how his Sunghoon hyung looks so pissed while his Jake hyung is in distress. Jake clenched his jaw, but draws another sigh to keep his patience.

“How about I let you beat him more until you’re a little satisfied?” he offers.

Despite being at rage, Sunghoon trust Jake’s judgement on matters like this. He admits how wreckless he is sometimes and anger usually drives him into making impulsive decisions. Jake is a lot more calmer person. He knows what he’s doing.

Sunghoon clenches his jaw but nodded his head.

“Give me 10 minutes.” he says.

Jake shakes his head, “No. You’ll end up killing him. Three minutes.” and he even raised his hand showing him three of his fingers.

Even if he want to complain, he chosed not to. He nods and turns his attention back to the almost unconscious guy tied up near him. He smirks darkly, “Let’s play for 3 minutes, shall we?” he whispers and went on beating him up, making sure he won’t kill him.

Ni-ki walks closer to Jake with a smirk on his lips. The older one craned his neck and glance at him, “Why are you still here? You didn’t even helped calming him down.” Jake says, but Ni-ki kept his amused grin.

“I’m planning to ask for Sunghoon hyung’s Lamborghini as a payment.” he looked so excited about it while still watching what their friend doing.

After three minutes, Sunghoon did stop. He wasn’t so sure if the man in front of him is still alive, but surely his condition is in no good.

“Fucking rat.” he muttered angrily.

He turned his heals and glanced at his friend, slightly rolling his eyes before putting his hand inside his pocket.

“He’s all yours.” Sunghoon says then pulls out his cigarette and lit it up.

Jake taps his shoulder and Ni-ki smiled brightly at him.

“I want your car as a payment, hyung.” he announced.

Sunghoon rolled his eyes while having his cigarette between his lips. He fished his car keys from his other pocket and tossed it over Ni-ki. The younger one cheered and thanks him lightly.

“You’re going?” Jake asks him when he saw him heading out from the dark warehouse.

“Yes. I’m still not calm. I might end up killing that fucker up.” he says and he just lets him go.

Sunghoon walks gloriously outside and ask for a key of one from his other vehicle. He went inside and drove away from that place, not even glancing back to prevent himself from continuing whatever that is that he didn’t finished.

On the other hand, Jake glanced at the smiling Ni-ki. He scoffs sarcastically.

“Let's go take him to Jungwon’s house.”

The smile on his face falters as he glanced at the unconscious body a few feet away from them. He pointed the man’s direction, “That? In my new car? No way.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “Ask one of Sunghoon’s men to take him there then.” and he started heading towards his own car to leave.

Ni-ki groaned and did as he told before happily approached his new car.

Upon arriving Jungwon’s mansion, he already saw Injang by the main door and he welcomed them. Jake taps his shoulder once while Ni-ki asks for a fist bump. They continues inside and saw Jungwon waiting for them by the entrance of his underground facility.

His brows hardly furrowed with both confusion and curiosity.

“Hey, man. Your room ready?” Jake asks with a slight smile.

“Yes.” Jungwon shifts from his feet and tilts his head. “What’s this all about?”

Jake shrugs his shoulders off. “Since you have the best torture room between our friend group and you’re the nearest from Sunghoon’s warehouse, I figured it would be best to do this here.”

Jungwon stares at him and didn’t say anything.

“Why are you guys here?” the three young mafia boys craned their necks to look up by the staircase when they heard somebody talking.

There, Jungwon’s girlfriend, Thalia are slowly going down the stairs. Her curious eyes never left both Jake and Jungwon.

“Hi, Ali. How are you?” he opens his arm for a hug to his friend. Once closer, she wraps her arm over his waist for a hug.

“Hi oppa. I’m good.” her eyes darted over to the younger one. His smirks already screams danger, mischief.

“How are you guys? Why are you here?” she asks curiously before she felt Jungwon’s firm arms snaking over her waist to pull her to his side.

“We’re doing fine. We’ll be borrowing your boyfriend’s torture room.” he answers that clearly made her show disgust on her face.

Jungwon chuckles shortly before dropping a kiss over her forehead.

“For what?”

“We discovered a rat on one of Sunghoon hyung’s men. Jake hyung said its better to gather information from him before killing him.” Ni-ki answers this time while playing with his keys.

Jungwon smirks and nods his head. “Sunghoon hyung let him go alive?” he couldn’t believe what he just heard.

Jake smirks, “I let him beat him for 3 minutes before I took him away.”

The younger male scoffs, amused. “I’d be thrilled to see what he had done for that 3 minutes.”

“Oh he almost died.”

“He’s lucky he even made it here to my mansion.” Jungwon and leans closer to his girl for another kiss.

The curiosity and half amusement can still be clearly seen at her pretty face. Jungwon placed one last kiss over her shoulderblades before he whispers something to her ears.

“But I want to watch.” she pouts. Jungwon’s probably prohibits her to come.

Jungwon shakes his head no, “Not tonight, bunny.”

After staring at each other, she finally surrenders and nodded her head. With small wave she exits and left the three men for their own business.

Jake asked some of Jungwon’s men for assistance to transfer the body inside the torture room. His condition was enough to make Jungwon doubt if he’s still alive and breathing.

“Do you still think he needs to be tortured? I think one more hit to his face and he’ll be dead by now.”

Ni-ki leans over to the wall, “Jake hyung should hurry then? Before he dies.”

Jake nods and took off his coat then rests it over one of the clean chairs. He trudges over to the men, half consciously tied up again by the center.

Jungwon splashes water to the guy to somehow wake him up.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.” Ni-ki taunts.

The man hardly even gain consciousness, but after a while they managed to get him back to his senses. One of his eyes can’t even manage to open properly, but his whimpers concludes how much in pain he is right now.

“P-Please,”

Jake continues to fold his sleeves with no trace of remorse. He tilts his head while staring darkly at the tied man.

“What did Mr. Park asked you to do? Why are you snitching on Sunghoon?”

No response came from him. Jungwon scanned him, checking if he’s still breathing. Ni-ki seems a little bored of it, only interested on the new car he just acquired.

“What are the exact orders you got from Mr. Park?” Jake asks again and yet, no response but a cough from the man.

Jungwon sighs a little frustrated before he approaches holding a gun by one of his hands. He held the man’s hair and pull it backwards then points the gun over his chin.

“Tell me what Mr. Park orders you to do or I’ll blow your brains out in a second. I don’t fucking care what information we will get from you.” he says in a low and sinister tone.

Jake sighs. Why did he even thought Jungwon will be calm about this either? He doesn’t have the best torture room for no reason. He clearly knows what to do in order to make one spill things.

“T-They want me to tell t-them about the updates f-for that girl.” finally, something they all wanted.

Ni-ki cranes his head over to their direction and put the car keys inside his pocket to focus on them now.

“About the search? Why? What are they planning?” Jake asks with furrowed brows.

Mr. Park may love to meddle with Sunghoon’s business, but he’s never been this desperate. He never go this far on pissing his son off.

“You heard his questions.” Jungwon and pointed the gun deeper to his skin. “Answer.”

The man gulped, hesitation can be seen through his eyes but the dark stares Yang Jungwon was giving him almost made him piss his pants. There’s really something about these group of friends. He heard about them. He knows how powerful these young mafias are. Everybody does.

“T-The Kwon's want to find her b-before the young master. They p-plan to execute her.”

Jungwon and Jake glanced at each other after what they heard. “Kill her?” Jake asks unconsciously.

Jungwon scoffed at what he heard. “You think that will stop Sunghoon hyung? Hell will rise if they do something bad to her.”

Jake smirks and fished his phone from his pocket. “We need to launch search operations for her so we can beat the Kwons and Sunghoon.” he says and craned his neck to look over Ni-ki.

The youngest nods his head and dialled something to his phone before waving lightly to them, exiting the room.

“He’s useless then?” Jungwon and eyes the man blankly.

Jake stares at the guy before he nods and starts talking to his phone, leaving the room as well. Jungwon cracks his knuckles before clicking his gun.

“You messed with the wrong people.” and a loud gun shot errupted inside his torture room.

here ‹ chapter two | chapter four › here

main master-list

permanent tag-list:

@rubyanne @map-of-border @hwangjangmi @crjwon @love13tter @candewlsy @simpforniki @classicroyalty @bridgebridgebirdiebridge @hime98 @moonsclassyslore @ddeonubaby @yeoungie @acciomylove @mymeloem19 @jvngw0n @dreamjerky @minamoons @clar-iii @herasalvatore @nyfwyeonjun @rcveribin @yizhoutv @one16core @soobin-chois @kyutiepeachy @chareadingpurposes @hwalllllllelujah @solelyenha @90sni-ki @nourhan-8 @nikipedia07 @yangbreads @drunkjazed @kimmchijjajang @hoonbrry @axartia @all4haru @sta-rie @hiqhkey @purplepuppychild @iceeee @wtfhyuck @tobiosbbyghorl @nikililmj @moonlightisland @ayayiiie @aeyeree @bitchychildmiracle

tag-list:

@heeseung-min @skzenhalove

#enhypen #enhypenwriters #eeunoiaverse #eeunoia #eeunoiawrites #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #yandere enhypen #enhypen park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon yandere #enhypen sunghoon x you #enhypen sunghoon x reader #enhypen sunghoon imagines #enhypen yang jungwon #enhypen lee heeseung #enhypen park jongseong #enhypen jake sim #enhypen kim sunoo #enhypen nishimura riki

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artful-aries · 1 year

Text

Genshin Headcanons: How They Apologize (Itto, Albedo, Jean)

Itto:

Depending on what you fought about, at first, he would be too proud to apologize

The One and Oni Arataki Itto, being wrong? Fat chance

Yet as you give him the cold shoulder, he grows increasingly pouty. Why aren’t you talking to him and giving him kisses? Don’t you love him anymore? He begins to grow almost insecure the longer you draw out the punishment

It doesn’t take long of being ignored till his resolve is crumbling to dust. Depending on how mad you are, Itto might be extra and even get down on his knees as he apologizes to you

“(Y/N), my babe, my doll, my honey, my numero two, please don’t be mad at me anymore! I won’t do it again, Oni’s honor! Just please, please stop ignoring me babe. I miss being in your arms, and kissing you.”

If you don’t have the patience to ignore him for a while, or his groveling for your affection isn’t enough, you can always talk to Shinobu

Within the hour, she will have him whipped into shape with a written apology that he will read out in front of you

It would be a nice apology that addresses the issue nicely thanks to Shinobu’s advice. It’s just hard to ignore the giant whelp that Itto seems to have on the back of his head after spending an hour under Shinobu’s strict gaze

He will be super grateful that you’ve forgiven him, vowing to never make the same mistake again

Itto does surprisingly well about not repeating past offenses, the problem is that he seems to always come up with new ones

Albedo:

Arguments with him are rare and mostly one sided. It’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s just that he’s usually confused about why you are mad

It takes him a while to get around to apologizing to you

Albedo not only wants to make sure you have had plenty of time to cool off, but he also wants to make sure that he prepares an articulate apology for you

Given that he tries to plan out his apology, it comes out as a bit stiff and script like, but the small furrow of his brows and the concern in his eyes shows that he really does care about your feelings

He’s more than happy to talk about your feelings; why you got mad, where things went wrong, and how to not make the same mistakes in the future

Albedo will handle the situation in a very mature way, and make sure that you don’t confuse his stoicism for lack of feeling. He cares very much about what you think, he just has a hard time showing it

He’s very keen on making sure there is healthy communication between you two. Albedo isn’t dumb, he knows he can be a bit cold and aloof externally, and communication is the tool he uses to try and combat potential misunderstandings

When you have forgiven him, he will give you a tender kiss to your forehead, a wordless promise that he will try to do better for you in the future.

Jean:

She usually feels a lot of guilt before the argument is even over

When it’s possible, she will find a way to interrupt your ranting to apologize, and ask you to calmly talk about the issue with her

If you storm out before she gets to apologize, she’s actually very internally distraught, barely able to concentrate on her work with the Knights

As soon as the opportunity arises, she’s giving you a bouquet of dandelions to apologize

Jean will explain that she knows what upset you and why, and that she feels terrible about it

She doesn’t want you to think that just because she’s busy that she doesn’t think about the best way to resolve problems with you

Her job is super stressful and she isn’t perfect, but she appreciates your understanding

With her apology, you almost completely forget what you were even mad about to begin with; her apology is just that sincere and heartfelt. How could you stay mad at her?

Even after she’s forgiven, she will still feel a little awkward and guilty about the argument until you give her a kiss for reassurance; whether it’s on her forehead, cheek, lips, or hands, you’ll have her blushing like a schoolgirl and forgetting what she was torn up about

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader #reader insert #genshin imagine #genshin impact headcanons #itto x reader #arataki itto #Arataki itto x reader #albedo #albedo x reader #Jean #Jean x reader #jean genshin impact #jean genshin x reader

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over-particular · 1 year

Text

minimalist self-care habits

One of the biggest misconceptions about taking care of yourself is the systematic and erroneous association of self-care with extreme consumerism. This idea conveys the image of self-care as something reserved to those who can afford it. The truth is, and many already know this, there are countless ways to be good to yourself without spending more than necessary.

☐ Get enough sleep. A child would need 10 to 12 hours of sleep per night. The average is between 7 and 9 hours for an adult. I can never say it enough, but sleep is an important part of our lives. Value it highly. It's an elementary need: not getting enough sleep puts us at risk of developing numerous chronic diseases: such as high blood pressure, diabetes, heart failure, coronary heart disease and some types of cancer. You are also more likely to suffer a stroke.

☐ Turn the volume down. Since I'm riding the wave of how we 21st century people are neglecting our health, I also want to stress the importance of auditory health. If, like me, you love to spend hours with headphones on, consider turning down the volume. I know it's much more enjoyable to experience it fully, but having gone through the terrible experience of tinnitus, I bitterly regret it. There is a simple way to track your auditory health: please check your smartphone's headphone safety features.

☐ Don't neglect your medical appointments. I have always been very anxious about it. Not to the point of pulling my hair out, but I used to postpone my appointment so much that I sometimes forgot why I even wanted to go. There are countless of reasons why we may not like to go to the doctor, but the truth is that health issues simply cannot wait. It is equally important to go see your doctor even if you think you are in perfect condition.

☐ Be physically active. Always keep in mind that your body, like your mind, needs to be stimulated. Besides allowing you to manage your weight more effectively, sport improve your brain health, reduces health risks and strengthens both your muscles and your bones.

☐ Watch your language. It's more personal, but it introduces a sense of discipline into your mind. The turns of phrase, the informal language, the way we speak, the choice of words, the syntax… Speaking is the perfect expression of the mind. This does not mean abolishing the use of crude words, but rather regaining control, becoming master of your language again. Your words should never exceed your thoughts. In my opinion, a rich language reflects the attention the speaker pays to it. When was the last time you learned a new word?

☐ Clean your space. The cleanliness of your living space has a big impact on your productivity. A messy space can lead to a messy mind. Home is, for many of us, the place we feel most comfortable: keeping your living space clean and organized naturally improves the quality of your life, your sleep and your health. Clean regularly, let the sun shine in and air out daily.

☐ Avoid ads. Easier said than done. But try not to have your mind parasitized by the multitude of advertisements we are flooded with. I don't watch television. I do have access to a music platform so I don't have to deal with the constant stream of ads on YouTube.

☐ Go for a walk. Pretending to discover your city or town anew can do wonders for a mind in need of a little distraction. Check out some of the free events that may be happening near you. Visit a park you've never been to before.

☐ Give yourself a reason to wait. Try to establish a ritual of patience. In other words… You stop binge watching every new show you start and you take your time to appreciate it.

☐ Stimulate your mind. The internet has given us more ways than ever to keep our minds busy. For those who know me a little, I am a big fan of reading. And if physical books can indeed be expensive, you can find some really good ones for free in .pdf format. In fact, some kind souls have even gone so far as to share entire drives of them on Tumblr... Going further in my reflection, I think that the scourge of our century is the intellectual lethargy: everything is at our fingertips, why bother reading a whole book when I have access to a detailed summary of only a few pages? Beyond the spiritual enrichment, it is also a proof of patience to seize a book and give it three hours of your time. I sincerely believe that as human beings, we owe it to ourselves to keep our senses and our minds alert. Reading is a great way to exercise our brain as it helps stimulate our cognitive abilities. It allows us to develop our capacity for memorization, reflection, analysis and imagination. Try coloring for adults (yes, it's a thing: ■ ■). There are also many games for adults online with the aim of stimulating memory and improving concentration (■, ■.). Try solving online puzzles, fake criminal investigations, math problems? Learn how to code (with Codecademy for example, which offers many courses for free). Take language courses. Many general knowledge quizzes are also available to anyone who is interested (■) . The web is a real goldmine in terms of resources and many are available for free.

☐ Finally, this list would be meaningless without me asking you to learn to relax. Give yourself a day off if you need to. It is essential to take it easy, to get your nose out of your planning, to look up from your screen and breathe in some fresh air through the window. I advise all those who try to relax to start a digital detox: we must learn to relax independently, without a screen and regain control over the objects of our stimulation.

My lists are intended to be personal. If you find them useful, that's great. Feel free to rewrite them! Don't hesitate to ask questions or send me your comments and ideas for next articles.

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lordelmelloi2 · 3 months

Text

I do definitely feel more at peace with myself over the past few years than I did when I was into stuff like in 2020/2021, when I was still living with my awful mother and roommate. And I feel like a lot of that really honest to god did come from that whole "seeing myself as though I was another person" in a non-DID way (or maybe including within a DID way) because I started thinking about things from that perspective. Everything that I had been through up to that point, plus what I was doing and what I wanted to do.

And I'm not kidding but I do feel like the self-shipping with a character that I really empathized with really helped me. I do. I mean it's not like I've been dishonest or tried to hide it but I really can't stress enough how much like, seeing that character, seeing his struggles, seeing the ways that he sabotaged himself and really being like... yeah, that's me if I was someone else. Doing the same thing, same goals, same mistakes. What can I do better? I love him, so can I love myself?

And I mean by all means it did take a while but I do feel like I can love myself more in general. I still make mistakes -- so shoot me about it, who cares? I have more patience for myself now. I still slip up and still have to apologize to people and I still get cranky but I'm much better at like, loving myself and being real with myself. And taking care of myself too. I chide myself lightly sometimes like "Come on man, you're an adult" when I don't take care of things that I know will help me or make me feel a little better, but I don't tear myself apart about it because I already know it doesn't help and PLUS, would I talk to Waver like that?

Like really. If it's a task that I would put off, or like cleaning chores, or even just the way that I am being frustrating, I ask myself, would I talk to Waver like that, who does the same thing? I know Waver has personality flaws, but I wouldn't be tearing him down over it, there's gentler and more progressive ways of working through it if it's harmful to himself or others. There's ways to work on everything. Having patience for yourself and others really helps and seeing things with good faith but having boundaries and enforcing them and really thinking about what you're going to use your time for also really changes stuff.

I mean it's obviously not a cure-all, since there are still issues that I have to work on that I can really only do through therapy, but after DBT helping me get a guide/framework for how to navigate some of these issues, and the power of seeing yourself in another person that you actually like, I think that really changes stuff. Like really sitting down and thinking about what you like about being yourself. What do you like to do. How do you make yourself laugh. How do you experience contentness and peace. Yknow

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darknessisafriend · 5 months

Note

another max california request from different anon🙈 could you please write something about reader being tom welles's investigation partner, so at first she has to tolerate max around for information and then they fall in love🥺 i Absolutely Refuse to accept the canon not gonna lie

Heyyyy here you go the first chapter is finally here! I hope you will enjoy it^^

8mm Max California x You

“This is leading nowhere.” stated Tom, your investigation partner, catching your attention while you were blankly staring at a bunch of papers in your hands. From the corner of your eye, you could see him exhaling the smoke of his cigarette, both of you were visibly frustrated.

You had been working on that case of ‘snuff movies’ for literally weeks, but there were no clues that this was a real thing, and you didn’t believe in it either. Rumors said that the actors just pretended to die, for the appeal of some weird creep jerking off over that crap, but no actual murder. “Calm down, Tom, I’m sure that with a bit of attention and patience, we will be able to collect some more clues, getting angry won’t lead us somewhere either.” you replied, dropping the papers you were holding on your desk, but some of them fell on the floor instead. Tom snorted, annoyed.

“You’ve been saying it for three weeks. I do have patience but I’m not a saint yet. Seeing any halo?” he sarcastically asked, you rolled your eyes. He was unbearable when stressed out. Both of you shut your mouths, filling the room with an awkward silence.

“We need to find someone who works in the porn industry, someone who has a link perhaps, or we will never-”. he added after a while before being interrupted by your phone ringing.

“Tom Welles's private detective office, it’s his assistant Y/N speaking. How can I help you?” you professionally answered, listening to the phone call. You didn’t understand much, there wasn’t enough network, but you recognized the voice of your current client, a young man, his tone was quite desperate, maybe on the verge of crying. You remembered his issue, his fiancé had been gone for a while, the two of them were about to marry in a week. When he called you the first time, he specified that he preferred speaking with you instead of the police, in fear of mockery, or even worse, vengeance. But one thing picked your interest during this second call, he was saying it was related to the porn industry, his fiancé had fallen deep in it…well, this perhaps was the clue you needed for your current investigation, and maybe some other cases you and Tom had been working on lately. “Thank you. Let’s meet at 7 pm at Casey’s cafe on 7th avenue.” you indicated to the young man, noting his name on your notebook. You could tell that man wasn’t from the US, he had a foreigner name, a certain François.

You hung up after a while, feeling Tom’s gaze on you. “So?” he asked. You deeply sighed and shrugged, combing your hair back with your fingers.

“So, maybe we can start seeing a little light in the dark.” you replied with a little smile full of hope.

Now, finally things were moving in the right direction. You decided to keep looking for a link to the porn industry, heading with your partner to a sexshop in the neighborhood before the meeting with Francois, so you would have plenty of leads, hopefully. You grunted in disgust, you didn’t get the pleasure people got from such places as sex shops and even less those working in it, you were probably wrong but you imagined the worst perverts.

“I went there yesterday, the seller seemed to know his stuff. I think he could help us.” commented Tom, feeling you doubtful of his lead.

“What is he like?” you asked, expecting a stereotyped answer, an average middle-aged creep who enjoyed sharing some of his perverted material with his customers. Your opinion on the guy would be biased for a while.

“Some young punk guy. He seems pretty normal actually. He was even pretending to read porn and instead was reading a classic. He has potential I think.” he described to you, making you arch an eyebrow, well you didn’t expect that kind of description at all.

Once you arrived at the sex shop, Tom entered first, you followed, looking around, all the magazines, toys, movies and such, it made you quite uneasy and disgusted. Maybe you weren’t as open minded as you thought, the truth was you were simply flustered by the place, you had heard many things about it. But then, your eyes finally landed on the seller, he indeed looked like a punk, dark blue hair, piercings, tattoos, he looked pretty cool actually and rather handsome to your taste but you quickly pushed that thought away. To work in these kinds of places he must have some twisted personality, he looked out of place, he was better suited as a musician, tattoo artist or even barman. This made you grow suspicious, he had something to hide.

“Hey, looks like you came back for the battery operated vagina after all.” grinned the young man as Tom approached him; you widened your eyes at his words, and glanced at Tom, was he interested in buying? Tom ignored your gaze, with you and the boy in front of him he felt like a babysitter for teenagers.

“We need information, I hope you'll be able to help.” your partner said, showing his PD card, making the man detail the badge, as if he knew how to differentiate a fake from a real one.

“Thomas Wells…wait you said ��we’?” that’s when he noticed you, showing your card to him, a little smirk appeared on his face.

“I always had a thing for women of power.” he told you, a first attempt to flirt and test you. Despite his beauty, he looked like the kind of person who liked to tease people. You had this feeling about him, and you weren’t very pleased.

“You don’t want to piss me off, man.” you replied, on the defensive, already he irritated you, your bitter response made him giggle amused.

“Oooh, you do have claws, huh? On the contrary. I’d love to see that.” he replied, getting distracted by you before Tom snapped his fingers in front of his face, telling him to behave and focus. You had to admit you didn’t expect to attract the attention of somebody, but maybe it was just him wanting to mess up with you. Other men already did it to you, wanting to be playful and teasing you to ease the atmosphere, wanting to appear charming with their sweet ways, just in order to sleep with you. No thanks, not again, your guard wouldn’t be defeated by a random punk porn stuff seller.

“Alright, what kind of information are you looking for? I got all kinds…” he chuckled, his tone lower though. You looked at him suspiciously, he indeed seemed to have connections in that dark world; after all, maybe he was a jerk, but a jerk with precious pieces of information. It was better for you to befriend him and keep him calm if you wanted to know more.

“You see, a lot of cases related to porn are popping out of nowhere lately, homicides, abductions, blackmails, etcetera. We just thought you already had experience with…this stuff, you know.” Tom explained, taking a porn tape in his hands. “Not that we’re speaking by stereotypes.” you cared to add, elbowing him as to intimate him to shut up since you saw kind of an offended frown in the face of the young man.

“I have nothing to do with this crap. Nothing, got it? I’m just here to sell.” the seller indeed said, in a severe tone and crossing his tattooed arms under his chest, making his leather t-shirt lightly squeak. You clicked your tongue, great, the only hope you had was getting vexed and about to refuse to help. However, the young man noticed your thoughtful gaze. “If you want my help, you better rub me up the right way.” he added proudly.

“If that’s about money, you can get your share if you help us.” instantly replied Tom, he had expected this situation. You detailed the seller, his curiosity was picked, not so much about money you thought..something else interested him and you will find out what.

“Now that we’re speaking…” he started saying, “Maybe I do know someone who can help you. I will escort you there, since it’s not so easy to arrive at his place. I guess you need some kind of guard who already knows the environment so you can peacefully investigate.” he proposed, you scoffed, clever guy.

“Who’s the man?” You asked, arching an eyebrow, and leaning on the counter, with renovated interest for the investigation and the seller’s motivations.

“His name is Pierre Beischel.” He replied, a grin forming on his face “A true asshole. I’m used to people with particular tastes, but believe me, this guy is another kind…” he said you noticed he took his pack of cigarettes, putting it in the back pocket of his pants, seems like that Beischel man able to make him nervous. “I finish in two hours. My name is Max, Max California baby” he stated confidently, here was your investigation truly starting with a strange companion and many dangers

Part 2? tell me!^^

Tag list: @lyoongx @weirdflecksbutok @charlie-sisters @stardancerluv @sgtsavoytruffle @ohcarlesmycarles @rajacero @niniitah-ah @morrisonmercurryphoenix @fly-like-a-phoenix @thatdummy-girl @galos-writing @phoenixbaby88 @captain-el-writes @skaravile

#joaquin phoenix #maxcalifornia #max california imagine #max california scenario #max california x reader #max california x you #8mm movie

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the-slasher-madame · 2 years

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Hey it’s me again lmao. I loved the last head cannons you did for me so I wanted to come back. Can you maybe do head cannons for teaching Brahms, Vincent and Thomas how to crochet? I’m learning myself and I think it’s pretty fun. Thank you stay groovy <3

I will eternally groove my humble broski, just for you. Ahhh I love this cause I knit!!! I was knitting a blanket but I vastly underestimated how much yarn I would need, so it may just be a scarf instead (I was gonna knit in strips...it may not be a single strip). My aunt crochets, she'd make dresses for my dolls when I was younger. Enjoy dear!!!

Brahms Heelshire:

This is going to go one of two ways. One, he will lose his goddamn mind. Rage quits like he's fighting sans in Undertale. Cannot sit still long enough and has no patience for the needle and the possible issues of A) the yarn starting to unravel or 2) it's too small/big for him to work with well

Personally, I don't know if that's my favorite. I think the second way it goes is he picks it up instantly (or maybe even already knows how, it seems like something his mother would do it and he'd pick it up to pass the time in the walls/connect to his mother, or she made him learn how to)

Going on the second path, he fricking loves it. Perfect way to fidget, to have a part of him moving. He'd make y'all a blanket to like, celebrate/commemorate your relationship. Then he moves on to beanies (I need him in a beanie like yesterday).

I do think he would get frustrated at first, especially if he's trying to make you something. He also could spend hours looking for yarn online. Could, would, and will

He'd make plushies, but you would have to beg him to. After he makes one, he's hooked (get it? Hehe). Would absolutely make stuffies of you and him, any pets y'all may get, favorite animals, everything (do you need like a pattern/recipe for crocheting plushies? And if anyone knows how to read a knitting recipe let me know haha-)

I love the image of you coming back from a very brief grocery run and he has some granny glasses on, the ones with the beaded string around the back, and he's just working away on a blanket

Relating to that, he stress-crochets. I've stress-knit before, and I can see him doing that if you have to go out for any period of time (keeps his stuffie of you in his lap and talks to it until you get back).

You have unlocked Granny Brahms, before long he starts baking apple pies Vincent Sinclair:

I'm a fairly crafty fellow myself, and I have a personal mission to learn as many types of art as possible. Vincent is the same way, and considers crocheting to fit under this category.

I don't think he has trouble with it at all, he's got pretty nimble fingers and can keep track of the yarn and the hook

I can also see him with the granny glasses, sitting by candlelight in the house or his workshop. AND he already worries about you like a grandmother, it fits perfectly lol

Loves making blankets and throws to stash around the house (IDK why it's hotter than hell in Louisiana). Would try to make things to make the town look more lively, and would store his extra blankets in one of the houses

AKJHFHD I can see him having certain sets of blankets for different seasons, like how clothing brands have the fall sets and winter sets and whatever? He's serious about his blankets

HE'D MAKE JONSEY LITTLE HATS AND BOOTIES OH MY GODDDDD

Would probably explore making plushies on his own, and gift you with one, then another one, and another one, and maybe just one more- (I am attached to my stuffies, even if mine aren't crocheted).

I don't think he'd make a family of stuffies like Brahms, but he'd absolutely make one of you to keep on his desk

Makes Jonesy toys, absolutely

Has a wide, varied range of yarn, and if he has to ask one of his brothers to get him yarn, he is very specific. This man is an artist, he will have the right color and he will dumb it down for his brothers to make sure they get the exact shade he needs

No he'd paint little cards with the color he needs 😭

I think he would like crocheted tops, both for the statues and for you. . . Thomas Hewitt

Ohhh this man is another crafty one, already has like a case full of hooks

It'd be cool to think he might have crocheted his first masks, not sure I'm sold on that but food for thought

Luda would teach him to crochet, it gives him something to do especially when he can’t play with the other kids and switches over to homeschooling

Makes blankets, even if it’s entirely too hot in tex-ASS to wear skin let alone fabric

Anyways along the lines of Luda Mae teaching him, she’d always look out for different colors she thinks he may like. Buys him yarn and hooks and is overall the supportive mother we all want and need

I think he’d also like crocheted clothes👀and he would kill Hoyt for even breathing lewdly near you

Plushies. Makes all the plushies. Makes you all the plushies. Every farm animal imaginable. They are yours

OMG WHAT IF HE HAD SHEEP AND MADE HIS OWN YARN THA’D BE SO CUUUUTE

Thomas makes his own yarn confirmed

I think he’d be really patient with crocheting, but he might get a little frustrated with smaller yarn and hooks cause his fingers are kinda big (yummy)

Awww no what if he made potholders for the kitchen, OH AND MAKES LUDA MAE GIFTS FOR HER BIRTHDAY NO CAP

One time, Hoyt said it was “wrong” and emasculating (not his words, he doesn’t know what that means) for Tommy to crochet, so Tommy crocheted a blanket with the phrase ‘fuck you’ on it and gave it to Hoyt for his birthday

Luda chuckled and told Hoyt he got what he got, Tommy was grinning under his mask, and Monty laughed and stole the blanket (and still uses it to this very day)

Ok I tried!!!! I loved this prompt so much, knitting and crocheting are so much fun and these are the three that I feel like would enjoy yarn crafts. I hope you like it!! <333333

#slashers #slasher fucker #slasher x reader #slasher community #slasher fluff #slashers crochet #brahms heelshire #brahms heelshire fluff #brahms heelshire headcanons #brahms heelshire x reader #vincent sinclair #vincent sinclair fluff #vincent sinclair x reader #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt fluff #thomas hewitt headcanons #thomas hewitt x reader #vincent sinclair headcanons

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inamindfarfaraway · 2 years

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I just watched the first episode of Dead End: Paranormal Park! Really loving the horror and eerie, supernatural tone, similar to Gravity Falls and The Owl House but with this classic horror movie/ghost story/haunted amusement park aesthetic.

I relate to Norma so freaking much. Where has this autistic representation been all my life? “I’m bad with names! [is informed that she sees Barney basically every day] I’m bad with - faces!” was hysterical. I like that she’s consistently clever, with big moments like figuring out the solution and small moments like taking the shorter staff path to get ahead (in practical disregard of artificial social custom), but is tripped up by getting fixated and not processing or acknowledging deviation from her framework of how things work or should work, like not noticing that they’re being used as prospective hosts of demon possession in an arcane ritual by actual demons. I’ll admit I’m worried about the combination of how clearly shady this Pauline Phoenix is - she looked like some kinda ghost at the end of that welcome video and Barney saw a glimpse of that same sickly green glow in the haunted mansion, and there were all those missing posters of her lookalikes - and her being Norma’s special interest that she’s apparently had for fifteen years (basically her whole remembered life) and that with is a huge source of joy, confidence, wonder and contentment in an anxiety-inducing world. Like, special interests are inherently Big Deals but with how stressful, confusing and downright traumatic neurotypical society can be for autistic people, they can become Massive Deals. Pauline and her career alone have kept Norma going for a decade and a half, as she doesn’t appear to have much if any experience with friendship. I don’t want a horrible experience with the supernatural stuff at the park to ruin that for her. To shatter the escapism of that special interest. And hurt way more than it never being real in the first place.

Anyway! Courtney is a chaos gremlin and I love her. I am very intrigued about her backstory; she says she wants to go “back” home so she was originally in Hell, but has somehow been banished presumably forever unless she can get a powerful demon to revoke it. How does a creature literally born of evil get banished from Hell? Maybe by… exposing that she has goodness or at least the capacity for it deep down? Or was it just an act of spiteful cruelty on the banishing authority’s part, as would be characteristic of demons, with her herself doing little to nothing to ‘earn’ it? Her horns stick out to me. They are not naturally in that shape, they were cut. Who cut her horns and why? Is it a symbol of her banishment? Aren’t the cuffs enough for that? Is it purely superficial damage to mark her as an outcast or hurt her emotionally or does removing some of her horns inhibit her demon power?

Barney is just a sweetheart. He’s great. His patience, kindness, levelheadedness, sincerity, openness and caution balance the intense, awkward Norma and mysterious, irreverent Courtney’s quirks out well and he’s a solid everyman ‘as new to the world as the audience’ protagonist. The others are gonna need his good social skills, I can tell. The casual trans rep is cool too… though the undercurrent of tension around his family, especially regarding his grandmother, that hints at more serious explorations of it to come. I mean, he just doesn’t go home at the end. He’d rather sleep in a prop coffin in a theme park replica of a movie set replica of a dungeon than in his own house. There are definitely issues there. He’s going to have to face the music about that later.

In conclusion, can’t wait to continue this show.

#dead end paranormal park #dead end: paranormal park #dead end #dead end netflix #de:pp #barney guttman #norma khan #pugsley #de:pp courtney #de:pp incorrect quotes

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sansloii · 4 months

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What would it take for Evan to truly fall in love in someone?

honestly? Stress :) sprinkle in a lil friendship :) and a fuckton of emotional unavailability

Evan is a very… strange one. it's not like he's incapable of falling in love — it's following through with it that he just doesn't do. spend enough time around him and get to know him and i'm sure he'll find something about a person to like. or something to admire. and it's entirely possible for him to grow to care about a person naturally — to know their good and bad qualities and still appreciate them for who they are. he has no trouble wanting to be around them and recognizing that he is in love because he falls in love like anyone else… with time and patience.

now acting on it is a different story

in the past, i've also mentioned that evan has a habit of setting fire to romantic relationships for a myriad of reasons. more oft than not, it's some mixture of him not believing he is "good enough", him knowing that his life and the life of his partner are wholly incompatible, and him expecting it all to fall apart at some point anyway. evan's life has him constantly moving around and travelling and stressing about things that, presently, are a bit more important than him maintaining a normal personal life. so any relationship that requires that from him is doomed from the start even he wants it to work out. so, he chooses to be proactive in it and just… self-sabotage. it hurts, yes, but to him it hurts less. in his point of view, he is always the bad partner — the partner that is never present, the partner that is secretive, the partner that may miss important milestones because he is working, the partner that may hang up in the middle of a call or ignore calls because he's trying not to get shot, the partner that drowns his issues in alcohol and sex, and on and on and on. so if he's always the bad one, why should he wait to have it thrown in his face? why should he even attempt to put himself through that in the first place if it's going to end the same way.

and honestly, this is why he tends to gravitate towards just having casual flings that have very little emotional attachment to them. it's easier for him to maintain that and if he wants to just stop seeing them? it's a simple text or a call and that's it. heartless as it his, he's just… not willing to form a deep emotional connection with someone that wants one and it takes a lot of time and patience for him to eventually get over that.

HOWEVER, he goes so fucking hard for people that are emotionally unavailable to him. bends his ass over backwards for them and god only knows why. sometimes, i think he's punishing himself for sabotaging all his relationships. and, like i said in this headcanon, there is a hole in his chest that can only be filled by someone that will fight tooth and nail to not reciprocate. or will put him through some utter bullshit before there is even a hint of a relationship.

for example, in the hidden lore of this blog, Evan has feelings for Mikah and has for years. they do end up together but that's only after Mikah rejects him multiple times. and this is because they don't know if they want to be in a relationship or can be without getting their partner killed. and Evan is very important to them so they don't want to ruin that relationship.

Evan responds with "god i need them." and becomes their ride or die.

he will not consider leaving his life of crime unless Mikah is also leaving. of course, this may change if he's in another relationship with someone he values MORE but in most cases, Mikah is more important. he will drop everything if they need him. will always answer when they call or text ( unless he's passed out ). will fight god for them because he feels that strongly for them. is in hot water with dakota purely because he chose to stand by mikah.

i hope this explains a bit of what it takes or... how someone would know if he's in love.

Unprompted | Anonymous

#🗪 ┊ ⧼ you all are some chatty cathys! ⧽ ⇹ ( asks. )#⚜ ┊ ( e. headcanons )#.hi hope this helps #.being in a relationship with evan is always some bullshit at first #.it will never be easy #.but you know i like mess #.it's always 'maybe this will fix him' but it never does #.and it never will :)

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moonfurthetemmie · 8 months

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Java (She/they)

The older versions asked Error if she named her clone after coffee or the coding language. Error will not answer, she thinks it’s funnier to keep it a mystery.

Java doesn’t have as bad touch issues as Error, but they do have some verbal tics from their glitching. Apparently being a glitch can do odd things if you try to clone yourself. The tics get a lot worse when they’re stressed or flustered.

Error taught her how to use the strings, but also many fiber crafts. Xena tried to learn too but she didn’t have the patience for it, and Java teases her about it. It’s not that hard girl you just have the patience of an angry rhino.

Java can use a staff, should she need to get in closer, but she’s also very resourceful and will utilize just about anything in her environment to help her and the others in a fight.

Between her and Xena, she’s more likely to try to mediate in a conflict. She’s also more likely to resort to violence than Error. Mostly because Xena keeps picking fights she won’t commit to and Java has to save her fool ass. Error keeps trying to get her to do that Less but with no success.

Cross & Error

These two probably did about second best in terms of parenting. At least, Xena and Java still consider them family. They treated the clones more like little siblings than their kids, though. They were the ones who suggested the parenting support group.

They are some of the worst role models of everyone. ‘Do as I say not as I do’ but Cross in particular feels really hypocritical so she’s very lenient on it. Xena got her habit of stirring the shit from Cross. And Cross is like ‘listen either commit to the bit or stop goading people into trying to kick your ass’

Error tries to set a better example but she’s only slightly better.

They both try to make up for it by hanging out with the kids/clones and spend time with them. Xena and Java tend to call them their aunts.

Other Stuff:

I somehow forgot error's eyes were different colors and at first made Java's blue. i think i was thinking of Koroit. I realized what I was doing and immediately had flash backs to that one person who thought Byte had blue eyes

Java's alignment is chaotic neutral

error doesn't Big Stick as well as Java, but she does okay. Well enough that she can help Java with their training. She thinks it's a good idea to have an extra weapon skill just in case, anyways.

Xena and Java have matching tattoos on their lower shins! It was Xena’s first one and she was scared to go alone and asked Java to come with her.

Java has a pretty long scar over their chest from a sparring accident with Xena. It’s an old scar, and the initial wound wasn’t as bad as it looked, but Xena still feels horrible about it.

Also Java’s hair is actually really long and in a big bushy ponytail

#Sunfall Java #Sunfall Cross #Sunfall Error #Sunfall DS #Java's cool i love her #she and xena are besties #they're so pretty too #this is the first time i've used eye shadow in heroforge too. even though they've had it for ages #and it looks so good on them

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woolywoofs · 2 years

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I wanted to post a little update. And ask for a little help, again (paypal posted below, please dont feel pressured! you and your needs come first always).

Moppa and I are still grieving Skvetta, but we are managing now. She can be left alone now without panicking and she no longer searched for her in the yard.

I had my tonsils taken out last friday, on my birthday lol. Surgery itself went well, but beforehand did not. My IV infiltrated and all of the meds to calm me down and put me to sleep just went into my soft tissue. It was extremely painful and I started to have a panic attack on the table because of it + the oxygen mask makes me feel like im suffocating (i know it doesnt make sense haha). All hands on deck after that and I had 3 people on me at once sticking me trying to get IVs in me but my veins just kept breaking. It was actual hell and felt like forever.

Recovery has been a hot mess honestly. The first 3 days were fine and since then its been reaaal bad. The ear, throat and tongue pain is unreal. I am drugged out of my mind because pain/stress is a huge seizure trigger for me, but at this point it is not really working. I did have 1 bad seizure, to a point where i had broken capillaries in my face. But thankfully it didnt create any issues with my surgery recovery. Im hoping things will start improving soon.

Generally my epilepsy has fucked up a lot. My short term memory is messed up and I have lost some skill sets after the bad seizures. I have been re-learning how to draw and paint! It is a very tedious process but i really feel like im making progress.

My autoimmune disease has been lowkey out of control and I saw my rheumo and I am going back on a low dose chemo drug. It really did help last time, it just made me so sick. But we will be looking into every option to control my nausea etc! So im trying to be hopeful. Ill start once im completely healed from my tonsillectomy, since the meds make you more likely to get infections and slows healing.

My uterus has also been absolutely fucked, once again. We were really hoping that removing the mass, scraping my uterus and putting the IUD would stop the bleeding, and it did, for 6 months. But im having issues again and I saw a specialist and we decided that the only option left for me is a hysterectomy. There is a year long wait though. This wasnt exactly on my list of things to do at 27.. but i suppose it is what it is.

Now for some good. Moppa is healthy and happy. She was attacked by a dog in september and got a bad gash but shes completely healed! She loves the fenced yard. We have been working on nosework stuff when im feeling okay enough for it! She is honestly such a light in the dark and I love her.

I get to renew my lease next year so i dont have to worry about housing!! Rent will be increasing bc inflation but im okay with swapping some meals with ramen to make things work, when I cant make extra money. I have been learning how to quilt!! My grandma does it a lot and i asked her to teach me so I am working on a project with her.

While things are generally a hot mess right now, i am mostly okay. And i feel like thats a big improvement for me, im not sure I would have handled all this a year ago. And im proud of myself.

With everything going on, I have obviously been unable to do commissions, or taking in dogsitting clients or anything i typically do to make money. If anyone is able to help, it is really appreciated. *This is my PayPal*, im afraid its my only way to receive anything. *any* amount helps. I really hope this is the last time i ever have to ask for anything. I feel like things are going to turn around now that we have solid plans to help with my health issues. The hope is that once my uterus is out and the low dose chemo has gotten my overall pain under control, that my epilepsy will chill out. It seems to be easily triggered via pain and hormones.

Thanks to anyone who had the patience to read this thing. I just havent posted an update in so long that there was a lot to say 😅 i am going to start being more active on here as ai really miss it. I will include the 2 art pieces I managed to make and finish. It took forever to figure everything out but im proud of myself. Quality may be a little destroyed bc tumblr likes to do that... i really hope i can offer commissions again soon. I might choose a person or two at random that donates and do a ghost commission like below for them? I can at least try. But youd have to message me on here after donating so i know who you are, i think i can attempt dog, cat or rabbit. But i cant promise anything.

I talked forever, im so sorry lol. Here is the paypal again because its definitely lost up there in the babble

Just to end this.. Has anyone here had a tonsillectomy as an adult and can tell me at what point it got better?

#personal babble #lord sorry for going off forever #my art

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