#I didn't say anything. she wanted to see how many unread messages i had and i think that spoke for itself lmao

[chqnified]

Love how one of my irl 'friends' thought I'd be devastated that she hadn't even looked at my messages in over 2 weeks and that she had so many messages. Like babes, i have 3 fan accounts, but whatever.

#I didn't say anything. she wanted to see how many unread messages i had and i think that spoke for itself lmao #but like??? i mean tbh i didn't even realise she never responded or looked at them. She's on the list of people i generic reply lol #bless her. she's recently really been trying to embarrass us in some way lately. or attempting to feel superior anyhow #first it was with the grades... i did better than her so she failed at that (not to mention she also cheated but whatever) #then it was the attempt at saying she had sex and kissed someone at a party and she was 'so drunk she couldn't remember ' ... #idk how she thought that was a flex but go off ig #now she's trying to claim she's way more popular and liked than me and that in a way we need her? #like ok. #erin tag #it's comments here and there that really make me think. ok. you're definitely not jealous of us huh? #and don't get me started. she's still trying to twist everything we say into making it seem like we have a crush on her but she doesn't #again go off ig. but we all know the truth. She's the one who follows me around and has to come find me #nobody else will talk to her at break lol #she'd try to make out that i don't have anyone to talk to but her. the difference is. in break i fucking hide from everyone #because they all get on my last nerve atp #I'm just tired?? i have enough issues as is without some immature person trying to jab at me anytime possible #and whilst she doesn't know about our DID. it is perfectly obvious she tries to take advantage of when a little is out #also. despite knowing when we're having an anxiety attack. she'll just purposely leave us and claim we're holding her back from socialising #one time we only agreed to go out with a group of friends bc she said she'd be there if we needed to leave for a break #when time came and we were very stressed and in physical pain too bc haha joints. she made us feel guilty for it? #also she forced us into staying with the group. saying she too had anxiety and leaving the group would make her feel awful. #manipulation at its finest #that's all she seems to be good at. and yk what. i give her the credit of being better at it than us. congrats babes.

[fitrahgolden]

Should You Need Me: 6 - Say something

Hi. I know I have no right to know, but can I ask how you're doing? If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you, Tom. Forever.

Kate stared at the message as huge raindrops pelted her living room window. It was the best she could come up with after nine drafts. Really, she'd simply given up after retyping the message too many times, and just hit send. Though she had told Edwina that she had no expectations that she would ever hear from Tom again, Kate found herself wistfully looking at her text thread with him that had been inactive for almost seven weeks. Lack of expectations didn't keep her from waking up every morning hoping that today would be the day she'd get some indication that there was a future for her friendship with Tom.

There. One message. He's free to ignore it. No phone calls. No popping by his house or the hospital. One message and a prayer. 

Kate mentally moved on to the next uncertainty that was plaguing her. She kept her phone open, her fingers hovering over Anthony's name. The man had made his feelings, or at least his intentions, abundantly clear to her, and it was terrifying. She left and didn't look back, which took more willpower than Kate knew she had.

In the weeks since, Kate had gone back to work and resumed regular family visits. She'd even let Edwina take her out a few times and managed to enjoy herself. Her puppy was kind enough to house-train easily. He must have known Kate didn't need the extra stress. The time, the return to normalcy–minus Tom, plus Newton–had not tempered her desire for Anthony. To see him. To let him kiss and hold her like he'd said he wanted to. To see if there was anything behind the promise of experiencing true, romantic passion for the first time in her life.

Kate believed Anthony when he told her he wanted her, but that was before she kissed him and proceeded to not talk to him for a month and a half. Just because it was true then doesn't mean he still felt the same way now.

Kate checked Newton's food and water. She felt dazed as she donned her Wellies and raincoat. She had no plan. She just followed the compulsion that refused to weaken. 

And so Kate found herself behind Anthony's shop, knocking on the back door. She held her breath until the door swung open. Anthony’s brows were knitted together and his eyes went wide once he saw her. The corners of his lips turned downwards. OK, a frown isn't the best start. Kate imagined she probably looked a bit like a wet raccoon. Her raincoat hadn't served her particularly well. Her kajal was undoubtedly running. No matter what Anthony had said, it was indeed possible for Kate to look like shit.

"Kate," Anthony breathed, his expression unreadable. 

“I don’t know where you live, so I came here. It seems like you work a lot.”

“I do.” Anthony said as he looked up from under the awning at the sky. Light, spitting rain started peppering his face.

Kate opened her mouth to say more when a gust of cold wind blew her loose hair sideways and Anthony all but dragged her inside by the arm.

“Christ, you’re shivering.”

He was right. She hadn't noticed. Kate numbly let herself be led by Anthony down the back hall of the building into what must have been his office. There was a large desk, a sewing table, sketches and photos tacked all over the walls. And it was warm. The warmth helped pull Kate slowly out of whatever haze she’d been under since she almost unconsciously decided to find him, to walk to his shop. 

“Sit." Anthony gestured towards the sofa that sat against the wall that was opposite the desk. Kate settled into a corner of it. He looked down at her, clearly at a loss. He rubbed a hand over his face. Kate looked back at him, feeling foolish for her acute lack of a plan.

"Hold on." Anthony went to a shelf and pulled a blanket down from it. "You should take your coat off."

He waited for Kate to do that before he draped the blanket over her shoulders with such care and diligence that Kate was momentarily transported back to the day that they met, the feel of his hands then. The blanket smelled like him.

"Thank you." Her first words since he brought her inside. 

Anthony nodded curtly as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over so he could sit directly in front of her. He grabbed Kate’s hands and cocooned them inside of his, warming them up from her walk in the cold rain, the rain that was currently the only audible thing in Anthony's office besides their breathing.

Kate knew she should say something, do something besides look into Anthony's eyes, which were also imploring her to take some kind of action.

The moment had apparently stretched on too long because Anthony sighed and asked, with an edge to his voice, "Why are you here, Kate?"

Kate was speaking before she was even aware of what exactly she was going to say. “I never should have said yes to Tom's proposal. We never should have been together in the first place. I wish… I wish I had met you under different circumstances. No one will ever believe the two things are unrelated."

"Why not?"

Kate looked at him as if that was the most inane question he could have asked, but she kept the annoyance out of her voice. “Because I’m here. Because I want you. Because I wanted to come to you as soon as I ended things. Because I basically did."

Anthony's pupils dilated a bit and his mouth twisted before he asked, "And how much does that matter to you, what everyone else would think?"

"Does it not matter to you?"

"No," Anthony replied without missing a beat. "Why would it, if we get to be together? If that's what we both want?"

Kate shook her head slowly in wonder. "It's that simple?"

"Yes."

Could it really be that easy?

"Why are you here, Kate?" Anthony's eyes became heated. Kate wasn't sure if it was anger, desire, some combination of the two, or something else entirely. He cradled her face in his hands and Kate's heart rate increased when he brought their faces closer together and his eyes bore into hers.

"You said you never should have said yes to him. You said two shouldn't have dated in the first place. You said you want me and you've wanted to come to me as soon as you broke up with him. I told you how I felt, you kissed me, and then I didn't hear from you. So, I've been trying my absolute fucking hardest to stay away from you and now you've came to me. Own that choice, baby. Why are you here? Something brought you here, and only you can tell me what that is."

Their mouths were so close together. Kate tried to focus on his words, on forming an answer. "I… I don't expect anything from you."

By now, their foreheads were touching and Kate felt Anthony shake his head.

"I care a lot more about what you want from us. Wanting me and doing something about wanting me aren't the same thing. If you're waiting for me to make a decision for you, I'll tell you right now, that's not happening, darling. If it were solely up to me, you'd have spent the last six weeks struggling to walk straight. I would have bared my heart and soul and demanded the same from you. I need you in this with me, Kate. If we're going to see all the fucking amazing places this could go, I need you to be an active participant. I need–"

—

Kate closed the infinitesimal distance between their mouths. Anthony had already felt like he was on fire, and when Kate's lips met his again, after their first kiss was all he could think about for weeks, it felt like that fire was consuming him.

Anthony pushed his fingers into Kate's wet hair as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him off his chair. He held a hand out against the sofa to stop his full weight from settling on top of her, but Kate kept tugging him forward, so he stood up just enough to switch their positions, placing Kate on his lap once he took her place on the cushions.

"Will you give us a try, baby? Give me a try?"

Kate nodded desperately as her hands pulled up the hem of Anthony's shirt. He raised his arms so she could pull it over his head.

"Say yes, then."

"Yes," she hissed as she took her own shirt off.

Anthony ran his hands over the satiny material of her bra, feeling her nipples pebble beneath his touch.

"Shit." He moved his hands down her ribs and onto her hips. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her joggers. "Can these come off? Please?"

Kate panted, "yes," and stood to shimmy out of them and her knickers.

Anthony went slack jawed at the sight of her. Before he could truly process what he was seeing, Kate fell to her knees to unbutton his trousers.

"Fuck, OK." Anthony did the rest of the work of taking his clothes off himself before hauling Kate back up to straddle him. "Can I touch you?"

"Please." Kate barely got the word out before crashing their lips back together.

Anthony reached in between them and moaned once he found what he was looking for. He teased until Kate said she was ready, then his fingers were inside of her, new territory that somehow felt like it was his destination all along. Eventually, the steady rhythm Anthony had set was interrupted by Kate's erratic hip movements. He continued, not letting up until Kate was following apart in his hands, biting into his shoulder to muffle a scream.

Anthony stroked her hair as she came down. He kissed her temple and whispered, "You're amazing, baby. You take my fucking breath away. Can I feel what it's like to be inside you?"

Kate nodded into his neck.

"Kate?"

Kate sat up and stared down at Anthony. She danced her fingers across his sweat soaked brow before leaning down and kissing him sweetly. "Yes, Anthony. Please."

“Oh, thank Christ.”

#bridgerton #anthony x kate #kanthony #kate and anthony #kate bridgerton #kate x anthony #kate sharma #kate sheffield #anthony and kate #viscount bridgerton #viscountess bridgerton #the viscount who loved me #lord bridgerton #lady bridgerton #bridgerton au #bridgerton fic #bridgerton fanfiction #kathony fanfiction #kanthony fic #kanthony fanfic #kanthony fanfiction #kathani sharma #kathani bridgerton #kathony #kathony fanfic #kathony fic #should you need me au #should you need me

[uselessidiotsquad]

have 4, 6, 9, and 14 from the gw2 asks for riag, mayhaps? :) @kerra-and-company

Ty for the ask! Riag hours it is. 4. Assuming they're a commander, how close were they really to Destiny's Edge? To Trahearne?

He had mixed relationships with Destiny's Edge but most of them were okay to good. If 1 is Fight on Sight and 10 is Besties -

Caithe: 6 - being another Sylvari has benefits even if their general manners of doing things are opposites (he does not do subtlety)

Rytlock: 8 - he and Rytlock see eye to eye in many regards and they know each other to be excellent fighters

Logan: 4 - didn't really understand the extent of his obligations to the queen and was largely influenced by being on such good terms with Rytlock on his perspective on Logan

Eir: 5 - about neutral, sympathized about her feelings of responsibility and guilt but not much beyond that

Zojia: 3 - did not get along with her and thought that she tried too hard to make herself look clever

Trahearne (before he realized he caught feelings): 8 - respected and looked up to his death magic usage as well as relating to having a Wyld Hunt that feels impossible

(After catching feelings) 6: Listen Riag's dense as mud about this stuff and made a point of trying to avoid him to hide his awkwardness which made them not get along quite as well since Trahearne assumed he had overstepped and offended him.

(After realizing feelings were mutual) 10!

6. They're now a heart NPC/part of a string of quests. What does that involve?

I had a couple of thoughts about this! Under the cut to save people's dash.

Part of Riag's therapy for recovering mobility in his hand was writing, which the Menders asked him to do and he found absolutely stupid. He didn't have anything to write about so they asked him to write letters to people that he didn't have to send, just whatever he wanted to say to them. Or whatever he was feeling.

As you can imagine a lot of them were heavy, angry or downright upsetting. There are even some that I could consider halfway as The Note™.

I think the string of quests would start off by finding the letters in some strange hidden chest in the Grove, and then trying to mystery style figure out who they belonged to. Not delivering them but trying to work backwards through the context of the messages to figure out who wrote them. Taking the player through lots of zones kind of parroting the player story's high points. It would be a loooong quest chain. Not hard just taking you all over the map.

But when you get to the last few notes, the earliest ones, they're just entirely unreadable and the handwriting is abysmal. Sometimes it's nothing but a page of angry scribbles. It's supposed to build sympathy and investment in him as a character, but I can see how people would get annoyed with the quest.

Once you'd collected all of them you'd be given a choice. You'd have to choose who you think wrote the letters and if you got it wrong, it would be a failed quest (a cd of a day before you can try it again).

Choosing the right person would mean you go hand over the collection of letters (probably apologizing that you read them). Then discussing what he is doing now that he's retired, he'd tell about his life some, and that he gardens now. You'd get a reward of an account bound scythe that makes you harvest plants twice as fast, with a chance for bonus loot!

9. What's an au for them you think could be fun to explore?

The one I had worked on for a while before abandoning is a SwapAU. So using my main canon, replacing the roles of Trahearne with Riaghael. The reason that he returns would be via Grenth magic instead of Melandru magic, thus making him very much look like one of the Awakened Sylvari that you see in Elona but Grenthified instead of Joko'd.

I dropped it because I had too many projects but it was fun to work on. He would have taken back over as Commander and Ruby would have been a part of the Pact but had less stress still. Even though it is initially more ouchsome it actually had a happier conclusion. Riag would have been functionally soundless but not had to worry about his Hunt being a c- er being a pain. Ruby would get to do what she wants to do.

14. Biggest misconception about them?

Man I'm not sure, there's a few. I think the main one is that he's Just A Jerk when he's really not. It's a defense and a damn convincing one. It's both to keep him and others safe, in his mind, so better to not let them in at all. I was actually chatting with someone else about this and how it's sort of a self fueling cycle that he is in.

General assumption is that he is a pissy, grumpy, asshole that doesn't like people and wants to be left alone.

What it is happens to be:

Unpredictable circumstances can set his brain back into Survive At All Costs mode -> avoiding situations that can cause this -> get less accustomed to them because he avoids them -> when it does happen it's worse -> so he avoids people further

People only pick up on the 'he doesn't want to be around others' part of it and avoid him in return -> unable to engage with people on the level he knew how -> further isolation and bitterness.

Most people (in the Grove, Pact, etc) miss like the whole alphabet and stop at Q.

Misconception from others that I've encountered is either they think he's just Jerk archetype or Sadboy. While he can absolutely be an asshole at times, he isn't that All The Time or his natural state isn't that. And he's very very far from Sadboy, more ball of wrath boy that is utterly crap at handling the extent of his emotions.

#gw2 #ocs #Sylvari #Riaghael #Commanders

[viciciciinn]

I'm just your helper, am I not?

Minister x vice minsiter

*normal school day*

-"n-no, I can't do it! I don't know how to talk to people, take notes or anything! I wont be a good helper for you-"

-"Believe me Val, you will be the best helper I ever had. Didn't you see the others? They did nothing but stand there picking their noses."

-"D..Do you seriously think so? That's a lot coming from you." she giggles saying that.

-"Okay are you going to help me or not? There is no going back if you don't want to fall from being the teachers favorite to being the student that no teacher believes in."

sigh.

-"Okay, if you want it so much. I'll do it, only for you tho."

-"Great, I'll tell the teacher." she winks saying that

-"..Oh god. C-can I do this? I don't think I even have a choice to go back..I, I can't!..HEY WAIT!..L-LILAC!!" she was gone already.

She felt an arm touch her

-"EEK!! M-MAY!? YOU SCARED ME!"

-"Aha, why are you such a scaredy cat? And what was going on? You were mumbling about something.."

-"...I um.."

-"Come on girl, spit it out."

-" I think im going to be the vice minister.." She groans like she was about to die, nothing but a helper at this point.

-"Ooo, a helper for her? Could be a start of a love story"

-"S-SHUT UP!!" She hits her, not hard tho.

-"Ahaha! Okay calm down..You guys would be a cute couple thoo~"

-"MAAAAAY!!" they keep running around while may was running for her life.

-"OKAY OKAY STOPP. IM SORRY!!" She starts giggling.

-"Why are you even blushing that much.... I just made a joke!" They were both out of breath. About to faint.

-"I.....ugh."

-"Okay she's coming, wish you luck with your new girlfriend~~"

-"UGH! MAY!!" she tried to yell but may already got away.

-" What's wrong Val? Don't you want to be the vice minister anymore?"

-"..." she knew her emotions were visible and showing that she was sad and trying to hide it. But how couldnt Lilac notice that?

-"Val?? Heyy?" ..

-" I really need to go, see you soon." She grabs her books and her bag, storming out of the class.

-" VAL!..." It was no use to yell.

-"...Did I do something wrong?.."

Val was near the entry, trying to brush off every negative feelings she had. But she couldn't, of course.

-"Why can't I just keep my emotions to myself." She starts sobbing, hoping no one will see her in this position.

-" *sniff* am I even a use to be the vice minister, I can't even talk to people normal without fukcing things up." Her phone starts buzzing..It's from Lilac, she doesn't answer it, trying to wipe the tears.

-"VAL WAIT UP!" It's May running after her, they did walk to school and back to their houses every day since grade 4.

-"!!" Val starts running faster. May doesn't understand what's wrong with her.. Was she mad?

-"VAL!? ARE YOU OKA-" Val turns to her looking mad with tear drops falling.

-"Oh, uh..Y-yeah I'm okay, sorry for that." She wipes her tears. (Shut up it's not cringe 🙁)

-".. Okay if you say so, shall we go home?"

-"..mhm." she nods her head and starts walking.

. . .

-"Okay see you Val." They were in the entrance of Val's house.

-"Oh, uh..Thanks for coming with me.."

-"..Sure, no problem at all."

May watches Val go inside so she could go back to her house.

*Val's house*

-"Oh, hi honey! How was school?"

-"Hi mom, yeah it was okay." She runs into her room after a little chat between her mom.

-"Dinner is read-.. Nevermind then."

*Val's room*

-"..Was I too mean?." She puts her back away and gets in her pjs, looking at her phone and..Oh?

-"Huh? Lilac..Called me and messaged me a lot.." She closes her phone as she sighs.

-"Guess I'll just go to sleep to feel better."

. . .

*Next day*

-"HUH!?... SHIT SHIT SHIT MY ALARM DIDN'T RING!" She starts running around to get ready, fast..

-".." Her eyes went straight to her phone, seeing so many unread messages from...Yeah Lilac.

-Val?

-Did I do something wrong?

-Are you okay?

-..Are you ignoring me?

-Please text me back im getting worried.

And much more with a "goodnight, stay safe." Message at the end of the notifications.

-"oh." she lets a slight groan while getting her bag.

-"I don't even want to talk to anyone after this, did I really make her that worried?"

"VALL!! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!" Her mom yelled downstairs.

-"I KNOW MOM!" She grabs her phone and runs downstairs.

-"Oh, Val I made your lunchbox for today since you forgot to do it tomorrow."

-"..Thanks Mom." She grabs her Lunchbox, ties her shoes and goes out.

-"oh." May didn't wait for her, she was heartbroken but who would care.

-"Guess ill walk by myself again." She starts walking to school.

*Class*

-"MAY I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR HER NO MATTER HOW LATE SHE I-"

-"Well I guess she's here now. Happy?"

-"..pft." Lilac looked annoyed from May.

-"Hi Vall!" May hugs her.

-"..Yeah, hi."

-"...Val you okay?" Asks Lilac, but gets no answer.

Val puts her bag away and starts sketching like no one talked to her

-"Uh..Heyy?? I'm right here." ..no answer.

-"Lilac, I think she wants to be left alone." Says May, but surely she's worried too.

-"Val, tell me what happened?" She puts her arm over Val's shoulder but gets pushed.

-"..." She walks away.

-"Shit, i guess that joke that I did yesterday really touched her.

-"Shut up May." Lilac was sad but didn't show it, she has to be strong or else it's no use.

-"..Damn alright."

Lilac goes after Val, she was curious about what was wrong with her.

-"Val."

-"!!..." Val starts running.

-"VAL STOP RUNNING AWAY!"

-"LEAVE ME ALONE LILAC!" She had angry tears forming as she ran away.

-"tch." Lilac runs after her.

*rooftop*

-"..." Val was sobbing.

-"Val.."

-"Didn't I tell you to go away and leave me alone." Her eyes were red.

-"." Lilac grabs her hand.

-"You know we're still in the same class right? No matter how much you're going to ignore me you will have to talk to me since you are the vice m-"

-"SHUT UP!"

-".." Lilac was shocked seeing her that mad.

-"JUST...SHUT UP, AM I ACTUALLY NOTHING ELSE THAN YOU THEN JUST A HELPER? IM NO USE TO YOU IN ANY KIND OF WAY, NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WILL TRY I WILL NEVER BE THE PERFECT HELPER YOU NEED. STOP MAKING ME FEEL BETTER AND JUST...D-don't talk to me." Val realized how much she was yelling.

-" I- ....I'm sorry, i yelled too much..-"

Lilac hugged her.

-".. Don't be sorry."

-"...W-what are you doing."

-"It's alright to feel that, why didn't you tell me how you felt before? Instead of ignoring me you could've told me this earlier..I wouldn't want to make you do a job you didn't want..But still, didn't you want it yourself too?"

-"..." Val had no words for that.

-".." Lilac wipes Val's tears.

-"It's all okay now, you're more than my helper."

Note: AAAAA THIS WAS SO GOOD TO WRITEE!!

I've actually took this idea from my friend and me that is in the same class with me!

I really love writing stories but I could never find anything to write. And I don't know much about Turkish literature even tho I was born in Turkey. It was hard for me since our language exams were about writing and I messed it up a lot but English made me better since I really loved roleplaying and creating little stories for my OC's!

About my friend, she was the minister and I wanted to be the vice minister! Well yeah my anxiety did kind of mess things up for me in that time but I still had fun being a help for her.

(and yeah one time I did get hurt and ignored her for a day 💀)

<33

[captains-simp]

@tomy5girls

Fhskdhwksnsns I accidently posted this before I was done writing it 🤡🤡🤡

I love Wanda so the first part took me ages to write but writing soft Carol made this either the messiest or best fic I've ever written

"Do I mean that little to you?"

"Was it all a lie?"

"I think I'm inlove with you."

Warnings: cheating and me fucking around with the MCU timeline regarding when characters are introduced

6.7k words

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Your relationship with Wanda had always been far from perfect. It was evenings like that difficult one that made you reflect on just how many red flags you had ignored. You had chosen to live your life with her in blissful ignorance, thinking it would work out.

But as time went on there were things that were harder to ignore. Things that hurt you to notice, both about Wanda and yourself. You thought they would go away. They only ever got worse.

That night was the final straw. You couldn't deny the issues that had been growing like weeds in your relationship for a year when you walked into your appartment to see Wanda's head between another girl's legs.

You didn't feel mad. Or upset. You felt empty. Empty at the long awaited realisation that you had committed to the wrong thing.

You didn't say anything, too shocked to know what to say and not knowing if you would even be capable of stringing a sentence together.

The woman's eyes flickered open and met yours and in that brief moment you saw the familiar look of lust before it turned to fear. She roughly pushed Wanda away as she looked anywhere but you and moved away from your soon to be ex girlfriend.

Wanda gave her a questioning look before whipping her head around to see you after following the woman's uncontaminated glances. She stood up instantly and straightened her shirt while the woman on the couch got dressed.

"You're home." Was the first thing Wanda said. Yeah. You were definetly done.

"I am." Your mouth was dryer than sandpaper but you somehow managed to say that.

"I should..." The woman muttered as she awkwardly glanced between you and Wanda before rushing past you and out the door.

Neither you nor Wanda spoke for a while. You were still looking at her, searching for any signs of...anything. She didn't meet your eye. She made no attempt to defend herself. To defend your relationship. It was downright heartbreaking.

You needed to sit down, but there was no way you were sitting where Wanda had just been. Not that knowing what Wanda had done on that couch had bothered you before.

You left the hallway to wander aimlessly towards your bedroom, knowing you weren't the only one Wanda had fucked in that bed, but you had never had to see that.

She followed you into the room, more trailing really. There was no urgency to her pace and she still didn't speak. Did she really not care?

You sat down on the bed and stared at the floor, mot knowing what to feel. Wanda didn't sit next to you. She made no move to comfort you. You didn't need comfort, not from her. You needed an explanation.

"When did it start?" You wanted to ask how many, but you already knew the truth would hurt too much. The ones you knew about were enough.

"I don't know." Wanda huffed. She sounded frustrated, as though you were wasting her time. That finally pissed you off.

"I deserve an explanation, Wanda." You said clearly, keeping your voice surprisingly steady as you looked up at her. She still didn't look back.

"What's done is done." She said simply.

"Do I mean that little to you?" Tears sprung to your eyes as you said that. Wondering for the first time if Wanda had really ever cared about you.

When Wanda finally looked at you you wished she hadn't. Her eyes were full of pity, watching you like a stray puppy in the rain. She moved forward and sat down next to you on the edge of the bed.

"I loved you." You didn't fail to notice the past tense, it cut through you like a knife. "But I wasn't ready." You had started dating so soon after Ultron. At the time you knew Wanda was grieving badly, you had questioned if it was best for her to dive into a relationship the way she had in that state.

Her self-confidence and driven nature always put your mind to rest. There were red flags before the relationship had even started.

"When you realised that...you didn't have to stay." Your voice wavered slightly.

"I know that." God the pitifulness was even in her voice.

"So why did you?" You held your breath waiting for that an answer. Wanda took a few seconds to consider that, like she wasn't quite sure herself.

"I like being around you." She sounded truthful, but you didn't allow yourself to believe her.

"When you weren't around them." You couldn't help the bitter tone that crept into your voice. Wanda didn't like that. Thinking she actually had any right to be mad at you.

"Oh for the- we had fun, didn't we? It's not like it was a complete waste of our time!" She exclaimed, standing up to face you.

"I wasn't dating you for fun, Wanda. It was so much more than that. I wasn't just someone for you to fuck like all of those girls, I was your girlfriend!" You felt proud at what you had said. You were right. About all of it. You were especially right to use the past tense. Something you didn't think you could manage to do. But that pride was short lived.

"You were a distraction!" You froze. Every fibre of your being turning ice cold from her words. You and Wanda stared at each other for felt like an eternity. She didn't take it back. There was an unreadable expression painted on her face. You knew it wasn't regret.

That's all you ever were to her? A distraction? Everything you thought you had...

"Was it all a lie?" You whispered. You hated the question. You would hate the answer. But you had to know.

Wanda's expression faulted and for a second the pitifulness returned. It was quickly pushed to the side when she spoke again, remaining stoic.

"Call it what you want." You bit the inside of your mouth in an attempt to stop your bottom lip trembling as you finally looked away.

"I'd like you to go. We're done." You whispered, turning away from her.

She left without another word. Her boots thudding against the floor as she walked away in the purposeful way she failed to show you that night.

The door to your appartment clicked shut before you broke down into tears.

*

You had gotten a hotel room that night, unable to stay in your own home. You couldn't lay in your bed without wondering how many people had been in it. Wondering how fewer it would have been if you had just confronted Wanda about it when you first knew. But you didn't, and those months of heartbreak were finally coming to the surface.

You arranged for time off of work once you got back to your appartment. Once that was done you flipped over the couch cushions, retrieved your toasted pop tarts and sat down to watch your comfort show under a bundle of blankets.

It worked for a while. The plates (yes plural) full of pop tarts and the hours of TV took the edge off of the numbness you were feeling. That was until a text from Carol brought you back to reality.

Care Bear: you okay?

You smiled a little. Carol was definetly something that would provide you with comfort, living up to her nickname as always. But she worked with Wanda, and the last thing you wanted was to make her life awkward.

Carol was your best friend. She was Wanda's friend too. That was how you had met. After Ultron Carol had introduced you to Wanda at one of Tony's parties. She had even been a wingwoman for Wanda, you pondered over what Carol would do if she knew Wanda had cheated.

The blonde had always been protective of you. It was sweet. Especially the small acts she never even noticed she did. Like standing closer to you when you were in a room full of self righteous jerks. Always being the one to catch you when you tripped over thin air, even if she was preciously on the other side of the room. Knowing when you were uncomfortable in social situations and casually taking you away from them in the most subtle manner that didn't cause a scene. You had never been able to confide in anyone like you could with her. Not even Wanda, although that was probably because she never shared either.

You: 👍 :)

Care Bear: --_--

Care Bear: Wanda's here

You bit your lip as your thumbs danced over the keyboard; evaluating the best response. You were surprised Wanda was even at the Avenger's headquarters. You had assumed she would be spending her nights with random hookups for a while rather than just one night. She finally had the full freedom to do that but she went back to the Avenger's Headquarters instead?

You: she okay?

Care Bear: I haven't seen her since she went to her room, doesn't seem to be in a talkative mood

Care Bear: you guys okay? 👀

Carol never liked to pry into yours and Wanda's relationship. She always let you confide in her. But in the cases where it was obvious something had happened between you, she checked in on you in the least subtle ways. Carol was smooth in a lot of way, but that was not one of them. It had become a joke between you and Carol ended up embracing it.

You: we broke up

Care Bear: CHSKSBSKSBAMZBMZDBAL

Care Bear: I'm on my way!!

Care Bear: or I can give you space to mope?

You couldn't help but smile at Carol's messages. Your reply was instant. You would love to have Carol binge shows and eat trash food with you.

You: come mope with me :(

Carol confirmed she was on her way less than a minute later and you got up to toast the last of your pop tarts and get a drink.

You weren't sure how soon Carol arrived on your balcony. You were sure very few things had made you happier than the sight of your goofy friend proudly holding up a multipack of poptarts while dressed in her sweatpants and goose t-shirt. The shirt was one you had gifted her for Christmas one year and if she wasn't wearing her Captain Marvel uniform, she was most likely wearing that shirt.

You got up to open the sliding door for her as you suppressed a chuckle. Carol appearing on your balcony without warning had stopped scaring you around the ninth time it happened. That was about the time you stopped trying to convince her to just use the stairs like everyone else.

As soon as she was in your appartment she threw the box to the couch and enveloped you in a bear hug. You wrapped your arms around her middle and closed your eyes as you held onto her. You smiled at the familiar smell of vanilla and cat hairs, being so easily comforted by it.

"Are you okay?" She muttered into your shoulder.

"I am." You said truthfully. You hadn't slept well the previous night, even at the hotel. You had cried for a while. But the next day you had felt better, as though a weight had been lifted from.your chest. You were still hurting, but you would be just fine.

Carol pulled away and rested her hands on your shoulders as she studied you, trying to find any evidence of a lie. Upon finding none she nodded and smiled at you kindly. That was something you loved about Carol. She never pitied you, even when the worst happened. She was sympathetic and supportive and never condescending. 

"What are we watching?" Carol asked as she picked up the box on the couch and took it over to your toaster. She knew you wouldn't want to talk about Wanda yet. She would wait for you to bring it up. Until then, she would act as though you were moping because you were sick rather than the reality.

You replied to her with your comfort show that she had grown familiar with and sat back down on the couch with the blanket over you. Carol soon returned with two plates of pop tarts (it wasn't like you had eaten anything else) and two hot chocolates. What you really craved was some alcohol but you decided to leave that till later on.

Your blonde friend sat back down next to you when you lifted the blanket for her. She instantly brought her legs up under her and put her arm around you. You easily leant into her and rested your head on her shoulder before she leant her own head on yours.

Neither of you spoke for a while. Carol occasionally laughed at something on the TV and you found yourself smiling at the sound of her laughter more than the show. It had always been contagious.

Wait. Should you of been smiling that much for someone who had walked in on their girlfriend cheating less than 24 hours prior? Probably not. But then again. You had seen it coming. All the signs prior had softened the blow.

"You alright?" Carol asked again as a whisper as she pretended to keep most of her focus on the show.

You hummed in response and fiddled with the edge of the blanket for a while until you spoke.

"She cheated." You muttered. You could feel Carol freeze. Her whole body tensed up making her as stiff as a plank. Her shoulder wasn't as comfy when that happened. "But it's okay." You assured.

Carol took ahold of both your empty plates and placed them on the table before turning her body towards you so she could see you better.

"That's never something that can just be 'okay', y/n." Carol said in a gentle tone.

"I know but...I already knew before... before I saw." You could hear Carol breathing heavily as you avoided her gaze.

"Christ, y/n." She whispered. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"I don't know I just...I guess I thought if I ignored it it would go away." Upon reflection you really weren't sure why you never addressed it.

Carol didn't say anything at that. You glanced up nervously to see her looking deep in thought, trying to understand what you meant. Carol was never one to hope things would go away. Her life as a hero had taught her to comfront every obstacle she faced.

"And you saw her..."

"Yeah, I did. I thought I could handle knowing what she was doing behind my back but actually seeing it...it was hard." Carol breathed out hard as though she had been holding her breath and pulled you into another of her infamous bear hugs. You wrapped your arms around her again and squeezed your eyes shut.

The blonde gently stroked your back in soothing circles until you moved away, not wanting to but knowing Carol wouldn't move away first and Lord knows how long you would have ended up staying like that.

"And you're really feeling okay about it?" Carol asked with a slightly furrowed brow, reading your face for any trace of a lie as you spoke.

"Yeah." You smiled assuringly. You didn't feel like telling Carol the rest. About how you had only ever been a distraction to Wanda. But there was something else you wanted to admit. "It was for the best." You started. Carol could tell something more was coming so she sat up a little straighter to show you you had her full attention. "Even before I figured out I what she was doing things just didn't feel entirely right with Wanda. She was great, but it always felt like something was missing." Carol didn't show any reaction to that. She seemed surprisingly stoic, like she was trying to suppress something. You figured it was probably just that she was thinking about what you had said.

"Enough about all that though." You said when Carol hadn't spoken. "You never got to tell me about your super amazing mission last month." Carol's eyes lit up at the mention of her successful mission.

There were some missions she wasn't allowed to talk about. Some she could. And some she could eventually talk about. Her last one was the latter and once she was clear to tell you about it she did, in great detail and the most animated way. It had been one of her best missions and you were incredibly proud. But you were interrupted by a false alarm at the Headquarters before she could finish.

You loved hearing about Carol's work that she was passionate about. You loved hearing how she could handle herself out there. Recalling some of those missions put your mind to rest when you hadn't heard from her in a long time. And you needed the distraction. Carol knew that.

You listened to Carol intently with a smile but the stress and upset of the previous events had you suddenly feeling very tired. Your eyelids began to feel very heavy and your head became empty as you felt yourself drifting off to sleep.

*

You woke up in your own bed, beyond comfused. You couldn't remember getting into bed or falling asleep. Still in a half asleep state, you tried to recall the events of the night until you remembered Carol. Had she carried you to bed? Had she left?

Your heart ached at the thought that your best friend wasn't there. Refusing to believe it, you wrapped your duvet tightly around you and trudged out of your room.

She was sleeping soundly on your couch with the blanket you had been curled up together under. You smiled at the sight of her looking so peaceful, taking a moment to consider yourself the luckiest person alive to have a friend as caring as Carol.

You came back to your sense when you realised how creepy it felt to be standing over your best friend and staring at her sleep, not to mention how freaked out she would be if she awoke to your duvet covered silhouette. But you didn't want to leave her side.

Carol stirred when she felt you kneeling on the couch. Countless nights of sleeping next to her had taught you she was a fairly light sleeper. You were thankful that she wasn't startled by you kneeling over her as you adjusted your blanket.

"Y/n?" She muttered as she rubbed her eyes to try to see you better.

"Go back to sleep." You murmmered back before laying down on her stomach and holding the duvet over you both.

You felt so at home in her arms. She didn't protest to you and instead wrapped her arms around your back and closed her eyes again with a content smile.

You rested your head in the crook of her neck and soon drifted back to sleep. Carol, on the other hand, struggled to sleep for a while. You had slept in the same bed before, countless times, but you had never been so close together when you did. It had never felt so intimate.

It was making the butterflies that had started arriving years ago whenever you were around dance around happily. As much as Carol tried to ignore them, her feelings for you only ever grew.

*

Over the next few days Carol visited you a lot. You had always been happy to spend time with your friend, but in those days you appreciated her company even more. In fact you were pretty sure you craved it.

She checked in on you often and stayed the night when you asked her to. You tried not to be too clingy with your friend, knowing she had a busy life and a lot of responsibilities to take care of and you didn't want to keep her away from her hero life.

It made the moments you could spend with her even better. You had always had that thought process with Carol, but it was enhanced since the night you slept ontop of her on the couch - something she never commented on.

You mainly spent your time together in your appartment, but on that day Carol had another idea.

"I promise it's safe." Carol grinned at you as you looked over your balcony for the umpteenth time in the last five minutes. You never really realised how high the sixth floor was until your friend was encouraging you to jump off your balcony with her.

"You need to get out of that appartment." Carol insisted.

"I could go on a walk to do that! You know...like a normal person." Carol laughed at your defiance to try what she had offered.

"Just five minutes, you'll love it." Carol said genuinely as she took ahold of your hand. You had never realised how her hands seemed to fit perfectly in your own before. You smiled at the sensation of a slight tingling in your hand upon contact with Carol's.

"Ease off." You giggled, shaking Carol's hand.

"I'm not doing anything." Carol protested earnestly, giving you a comfused look. You gulped and tried not to think about what the feeling was. "If you don't like it I'll bring you right back, you're safe with me - the Strongest Avenger." She said with a cocky grin, she had heard someone say it once and it went straight to her head. You rolled your eyes at her with a smile then paused, biting your lip as you considered the offer properly.

"Okay." You breathed out.

"Okay?" Carol asked with an excited grin.

"What the hell, sure!" You exclaimed. Carol chuckled and went to stand behind you. The material of her suit pressed against your bare arms and made you shiver slightly, you assumed from nerves. Carol had told you you didn't need to wear a jacket or coat, claiming her powers would keep you warm.

She wrapped her arms around your waist to hold you tightly against her and you gripped onto her forearms, not being able to stop yourself smiling.

"You ready?" Carol asked as the yellow swirls started to surround Carol and heat up your back and stomach. Blue and red glimmers occasionally appeared amongst the swirls and you tried not to get too distracted by the beauty of Carol's powers.

The next thing you knew your feet were slowly leaving the ground until the tips of your shoes were an inch away from the floor. You felt weightless and couldn't help but laugh a little at the absurdity that you were floating on thin air.

"Okay?" Carol checked.

"Okay." You confirmed.

As soon as the word left your mouth you felt like you were being catapulted through the air. Wind whipped your hair across your face and everything was a blur. All you could focus on was the whirling colours and Carol's strong grip on your waist.

You were going directly upwards for a few seconds until Carol eased you both forwards slightly, angled so you could finally take in your surroundings.

The speed at which you had been going to get so high in such a short amount of time was insane. It was impossible to know exactly how high up you were, all you knew was the faint clouds in the nighttime sky were closer to you than the ground. A lot closer.

The small gaps amongst the thin layers of clouds gave a glimpse at the stars that shimmered above you. The view below was just as breath-taking.

The city was lit up by the lights emitting from each building, each playing a part in the beautiful display. The lights shimmered and twinkled just as the stars did, the two very different worlds having the same beauty from such a height.

As Carol leveled herself out more you felt your legs drop infront of you and away from Carol. Your grip on the hero tightened in response to the new position.

"Do you trust me?" Carol asked carefully. You nodded, not knowing what your friend was planning but knowing you would go along with whatever she had planned.

One moment Carol had her reassuring grip on your waist, guiding you through the night air, and the next she was gone. You plummeted through the air in an instant, a silent scream escaping your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut tightly, not wanting to see the world spinning as you fell, but as soon as you were falling you were safe again.

You landed on Carol's back surprisingly lightly. You blinked a few times in shock, not understanding what had happened until you realised that Carol was flying horizontally and the position allowed you both to have a much better view and in a better position.

You sighed with a grin as stared down at the city in awe, your eyes occasionally flickering up to the dark sky. You rested your head in the crook of Carol's neck and wrapped your arms around her front, easing into her as easily as you had that night on the couch.

It was the happiest you had felt in such a long time. You felt safe with Carol, even from such a dangerous height and the whole event had you feeling more relaxed and content than you could ever remember.

A warmth spread over your body as the pair of you gently flew over the city. While you wanted to believe it was from Carol's powers, you knew deep down that that wasn't it. Because you had had that warmth for Carol on the coldest nights, you had had it when she was on the other side of the room, it had been there for as long as you could remember. And it was only getting stronger.

*

It didn't take anymore encouragement to get back into your usual way of life without any issues. Thanks to Carol there didn't seem to be much difference. The times that you would have been spending with Wanda you spent with Carol. She knew you were okay and that you didn't need her to mope around with you anymore - not that you had really ended up doing that together much. But you wanted her with you; she seemed to want to be with you too.

While you had slept in the same bed multiple times since you had on the couch, you never cuddled close to her like you did before. You knew that if you did that warmth would return. You knew, deep down, what it meant. However you had no idea if Carol's feelings for you were anything more than platonic, it was a line you weren't willing to cross, so you pushed those feelings to the side as much as you could.

Despite your efforts, those mornings you woke up next to your friend you found that you had your head resting on her shoulder or an arm hooked around her waist or one of your legs tangled with hers. She never seemed to mind, in fact one time you could have sworn you saw her eyes drop when you separated yourself from her. You told yourself you were just seeing things that weren't there.

So one night when Carol casually invited you to an Avenger's party you almost choked on your popcorn. You had always gotten along with the team - ever since the mix up on the mission that had led you to meet them and Carol. You had been to a fair few of those parties in the time you had been friends, but that party would be different.

Carol had assured you that no one else on the team knew exactly what had happened between you and Wanda. Your friend knew you didn't want people knowing and Wanda wasn't about to announce it, all the team knew was that you had broken up.

"You don't have to." Carol said quickly. "Wanda will be there." She informed in unimportant fact kind of way. "I just thought it would be nice for you to see everyone again. They miss you."

"They do?" Even thought you had known the Avengers for years, you still couldn't help but be a insecure before seeing them. You didn't have any powers or training. You always wondered what you could possibly bring to their table. Those worries were always put to rest once you were settled in, the smiles on their faces and laughter they emitted when you saw them was hard to fake. Besides, it wasn't like they had any reason to fake it.

You very quickly stopped being insecure when it came to Carol though. You had spent so much time together and knew each other so well that you never worried what she thought of you. She reminded you often of the traits she loved so much, it had been something you had started.

"I'd love to go." You smiled at Carol then went back to the screen. You never liked to make things awkward with exes. It wasn't like you and Wanda were going to become best buddies any time soon, but you were determined to be civil. You just hoped she would be too.

"Great." Carol concluded after studying you for a bit, wanting to be absolutely sure that it was what you wanted. "I'll pick you up at eight on Saturday."

"It's in two days?" You exclaimed, turning to Carol with a horrified expression.

"It is?" Carol confirmed in a not-too-sure tone, not understanding what the big deal was.

"Jeeze, Carol, give a girl a better warning next time." You huffed as you leant back against the couch. The blonde chucked next to you and muttered an apology.

Carol continued watching the film she had put on while you planned when and where you would get an outfit. You knew the dress code of those parties, that wouldn't be an issue, but part of you wanted to match with Carol.

"What are you going to wear?" You asked casually.

"Haven't decided yet."

Damn. You would just have to wing it.

*

Carol knocked on your door at exactly eight o'clock on the night of the party. You were startled at the sound of it at first, not expecting her to actually use the door for once.

You opened the door with a wide grin on your face but felt as though you had the breath knocked out of you when you saw your friend. She was wearing a tailored dark y/f/c suit with a neat white blouse. Her hair was slightly tossled and hung loose around her shoulders. It all went perfectly with her familiar warm smile. She looked beautiful.

Carol's outfit was strikingly similar to your own y/f/c dress that was a much lighter tone but the similarity was still there.

"H-hey." You stuttered as you continued to take in her outfit.

"Hey yourself." Carol grinned smugly, not oblivious to your stare.

"You look...really...amazing." You couldn't help but say. It was the truth.

"You look really amazing too." Carol said a lot more easily than you did. You giggled and stepped out of your appartment and locked it.

"Milady." Carol said in a terrible English accent as she offered her arm for you to hold.

"Milord." You went along and put your arm easily through hers before you started walking down the hallway, unable to contain your smile at the childish and loveable act.

*

When you arrived at the party you were bombarded with people wanting to talk to Carol. You had grown used to that, but it was still a downer when you wanted to stay by Carol, at least for a while.

Eventually, you were summoned away from your friend by the Avengers who were eager to catch up with you after so long.

"How've you been?" Nat asked with a welcoming hug as she outstretched her arms I'm an open hug.

"I've been pretty great." You replied honestly as you hugged her tightly. There was no one you were closer to than Carol, but Nat was someone you considered a friend without a doubt.

"What about you?" You asked genuinely as you pulled away.

"Same old." Nat smiled in her familiar way she saved for those she knew rather than the strangers in the room she had to play nice with.

You talked to Nat for a while as though nothing had changed. You hadn't seen Wanda and you had no idea where she was and no one mentioned her. You were thankful there wasn't any tension around the group. They all talked to you in the same way they always had with the exception of them asking about Carol more. You kept missing their knowing smiles hidden behind their drinks.

After a while you and Tony had your own convosation and it seemed as though being around the others was the only kind of self control he had when it came to refraining talking about relationships. As soon as you two were left alone he didn't hesitate to start saying what he had been thinking.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, you and Wanda seemed great, but I always thought it would be you and Carol who would end up together." Tony said as though he was voicing a passing thought.

"Me and Carol?" You tried to ask smoothly. Admittedly you had been thinking a lot about what it would be like to date Carol. You couldn't seem to stop your mind wandering at night to imagining scenarios with her in which you were dating. It always made you smile so your cheeks hurt until you reminded yourself it wasn't real. Carol would never see you that way, would she?

"Well I didn't see it until Nat pointed it out. Then we actually all kind of assumed you were dating before you and Wanda became a thing." Tony continued in his casual manner before taking another sip of his drink.

"Really?" You looked over at Nat who was talking to Carol. Nat seemed as though she was trying to convince Carol to do something because the blonde had the conflicked look upon her face that always appeared when she had been thinking long and hard about something.

"You certainly acted like it." Tony snickered as he followed your line of sight. As if on cue, Carol and Nat glanced your way and a heat began to grow along your neck at the feeling of embarrassment at being caught staring.

Nat had a small smirk playing along her lips while Carol mirrored your expression guiltily.

You missed Tony and Nat exchanging knowing smiles. You missed the way Carol's cheeks became tinted pink too.

"Excuse me." Tony said as he put a hand gently below your shoulder before walking off in the direction Nat had also departed too.

You smiled at Carol and wandered towards her place on the balcony, glad that she turned around entirely to face you. Unfortunately the blush on her cheeks had faded by the time you would have been close enough to spot it.

"Enjoying the party?" Carol asked as you stepped out onto the balcony and leant against the railing.

"I am." You said certainly. The blonde turned to copy your position so you could both gaze out at the buildings below you. The view you had gotten with Carol was undefeated, but the Avengers tower provided something special too.

"I told you they missed you." Carol grinned as she nudged your side with her elbow.

"Yeah." You blushed and peered down at the railing.

"I don't know about you but my shoes are killing me and I think I've talked to enough of these guests to bore me to death twice over." Carol sighed with a childish smile. You grinned back and nodded.

"You want to stay at mine tonight?" You asked hopefully.

"I'd love to." Carol's smile grew as you held her arm out for you to link your arm through again.

"Milady." The hero said with the same terrible English accent.

"Milord." You mocked as you put your arm through hers easily.

Maybe Tony was onto something.

*

That night when Carol took the same place she always did in her home that was as much hers as it was yours, you couldn't focus on the movie playing on the screen. You couldn't focus on anything except the blonde beside you.

You had your head resting on her shoulder and everytime you moved to get your drink and turned back to her your eyes instantly strayed to her lips, images of kissing her filling your head.

You remembered the night she moped with you after your breakup and how she had been the best friend you could ask for. Except you didn't want Carol to be just your friend. You wanted her to be more.

Your mind had been racing since since party, considering what Tony had said to you and how true it was. You and Carol really had always acted like a couple. You had never thought anything of it, even when Carol did it considerably less when you were dating someone.

Because you had been in more than just one relationship in the time you been friends with Carol. None of them ever felt right. You always thought there was something missing. Something that the next person would fix. No one ever could though. Because what you had been looking had been right infront of you the whole time.

All those feelings that had come bubbling to the surface the couple of weeks prior, they had been there all along. Christ, you were such an idiot.

"Carol..." You whispered, more afraid of what you were about to say than anything before. You wanted to back out. You didn't want to mess up what you had with Carol, but you had never been so sure of something than you were for your feelings for Carol in your entire life.

"Yeah?" She said softly.

"I think..." You held your breath and you could have sworn Carol did too. "I think I'm inlove with you." The blonde froze for a solid minute. Neither of you spoke. Tears threatened to come to the surface as you realized what you had done.

Eventually, Carol put her bowl of popcorn down and slowly turned towards you. You didn't dare meet her eye, instead playing with the edge of the blanket over you both and hoping it would trigger a sink hole beneath you.

"You do?" She whispered. You nodded and bit your lip in an attempt to hold back your tears. Carol lifted your chin gradually so you were looking at her. She had an unreadable expression.

"I love you too." You half laughed half sighed in relief as a smile spread across your face and the tears finally sprung free.

"Yeah?" You choked out. Carol instantly cupped your face and wiped your tears off of your cheeks as she smiled back at you.

"Yeah!" She giggled. "I've wanted to say that for so long." She admitted in a rush.

"Why didn't you? It could have saved us so much time!" You exclaimed and gently punched her arm.

"I was scared, even with Nat trying to convince me to say something." Carol explained, it was her turn to look away in embarrassment but you quickly pulled her back the way she did.

"That's really sweet, I'm here now." You assured genuinely.

Carol smiled back at you as her eyes glanced down at you lips. You grinned at the obviousness of what she was thinking and bravely closed the gap between you. After that prompt Carol eagerly met you half way and smiled into your long overdue kiss. Her lips were so so soft and moved against like a perfected dance. When you pulled away for air you rested your forehead against hers and breathed heavily with a heart filled smile.

"We have to do that more often." Carol said as her hands landed on your waist.

"We absolutely do." You agreed before pulling her into another kiss, engraving the memory of that night into your mind forever.

#brie larson #captain marvel #captain marvel imagines #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers #carol danvers imagines #carol danvers x reader #marvel #wanda maximoff

[milfnearyou]

                𝐨𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐡𝐮𝐧: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥.

 “𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐡𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮.”

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 2.4K | 𝐎𝐇 𝐒𝐄𝐇𝐔𝐍 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: ANGST. CHEATING. BETRAYAL. SUGGESTIVE. THATS PRETTY MUCH IT THIS TIME AROUND. NGL THIS ISN’T MY BEST WORK AND IS A SHORT ONE SHOT, SORRY! CLICK HEADER FOR HIGHER RESOLUTION BC TUMBLR IS STUPID.

VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

“So you just woke up one day and decided you loved me?!” 

Your voice was painfully shrill, bouncing against the metal walls and echoing through the elevator shaft. If you hadn't been so furious, you would've cringed at the way you sounded. Considering your behaviour to be completely out of character and rather petty. But it was impossible to think straight. With all the sirens in your mind screaming 'Alert!' causing you to grow defensive. You saw everything as red, wrapped in a series of warning signs. Eager to protect yourself you grew aggressive, fury coursing through your veins and laced with disgust. 

The disbelief was evident in your tone, accompanied by the extremely annoyed look plastered on your face. Your eyebrows were contorted together, lightly creasing your forehead as you anxiously chewed on your bottom lip. Your hands were balled into tight fists trembling at your sides as you fought the urge to beat the living crap out of him. 

"Fucking answer me Sehun!" You exclaim, throwing your hands in the air. You didn't understand him, not taking any of his bullshit words seriously as a result. Had he been telling the truth, had he truly meant every word he said. Sehun wouldn't have just stood there in front of you with nothing to say. The silence he offered simply adding more fuel to the fire that raged inside of you. 

"So now you're silent? You weren't this fucking quiet back when you were professing your so-called love to me?! What's gotten into you now?"

Again, nothing but silence. The tall man simply stands there in front of you with his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants as the elevator continues to rise higher and higher. With every floor, the elevator cabinet passed, the angrier you got and it didn't help that you lived in a high rise apartment. If he continued to act this way you'd be fuming, steam emitting from your body by the time you'd reach your floor.

“Do you even know what it means to love someone? Or do you just throw yourself in any direction that proves beneficial to your selfish well being?” The questions flew past your lips one after another. You weren’t going to hold back either. Pushing yourself towards him, forcing him to explain himself. 

You didn't deserve the silence. You deserved proper answers, ones that were absent from the immature man in front of you. 

"Answer me right now or I swear to god I'm cutting you off forever," Warning him, you take a step forward to face him closer. Invading his personal space as you stare at him, craning your neck upwards with your arms crossed. 

Watching him like a hawk, you attentively wait. Noticing how he seems to take a slight step back, his broad chest heaving up and down slowly. He seems to be nervous or perhaps, flustered? It was hard for you to believe that with all the ways he could've handled the situation this was what he opted for.

Step by step, you get closer and closer towards Sehun until he's got his back pressed against the metal walls of the elevator. It was hard to believe that someone who looked dominant most of the time could be so cowardly. 

"I'm not asking again," You state, pressing your index finger roughly against his chest. Physically pushing him around until he's finally had enough. His large hands pressing against your shoulders as he shoves you back, regaining his confidence. Finally, he refutes, silence no longer being an option for him.

“Fuck off! Do you want an answer? Fine, but you don't have to act like such an invasive bitch about things!" 

Stunned your eyes widen. You can't tell if you should be offended or impressed with just how much you pushed him but you let him speak. Not saying anything even though he had just called you a bitch. 

"No, I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide that I’d fall in love with you! It took me countless days and nights, essentially adding up into months of thinking about nothing except you! Do you know how painful it felt for me? Do you not understand how guilty I felt?!” The tone in his voice is dangerously low as he narrows his eyes at you. It's his turn to match your attitude, fixing his posture and standing tall. 

"Oh really? So you only thought about how you felt and not how I would feel knowing about your feelings for me? Sehun, how selfish can you be? You aren't the only person on this godforsaken planet!" 

"You don't think I knew that? I know you wouldn't be happy with this but you have to understand that had I kept everything to myself and continued to hang out around you; it would've been both disrespectful to you but also incredibly torturous to me. It was worth gambling my feelings and confessing with the consequence of potentially losing a friend instead of hiding it."  

Taken aback, you feel yourself pause and you hate yourself for it. Sehun has a point, he's valid for being upfront about things but there was just one thing that didn't sit right with you. Despite wanting an answer and getting it you curse yourself for falling silent. The hypocrisy of your silence hitting you square in the face but you're not done. You still have one more thing to say.

"What about the fact that you're still dating my best friend? Did you think about how much this would hurt her? No, let me guess, I bet you haven't even mentioned anything to her," Bringing your best friend up seemed to be the major thing standing in between both of you.

Sehun stares at you like he's been frozen in time. His features completely poised and monotone as your eyes scan his face for any sign of emotion. It was still much too hard to accept his words, to trust them and understand that it came from the bottom of his heart. Your anger was now replaced with complete confusion, perhaps even denial as you scoff at him. He was crazy to think you'd ditch your best friend for a man like him.

Sehun only stood there with his shoulders pushed back, his posture relaxed. His orange tufts of hair making him look like a complete clown. His current demeanour was very different in comparison to how defensive he was earlier.

How could he be so hot and cold? None of it made sense with his face being completely unreadable, everything felt bland like a black and white movie. Sehun could scream as much as he wanted but his words would never get through, bouncing behind the screen, staying unheard from the crowd. All these things made it impossible to find the sincerity he had in his words represented in his body language. 

The elevator came to a stop with a rather loud ding notifying you that it had arrived on your floor. You take one last look at Sehun battling with yourself on whether or not someone as selfish as him was worth entangling yourself with. But no matter how you thought of it you couldn't accept him. With Sehun came consequences, ones that you weren't willing to risk getting into and that being losing your best friend. Someone who was there for you through thick and thin could never be replaced with a man you'd only known for roughly a year.

He didn't mean anything to you and he wasn't allowed to have any meaning in your life, it just wasn't okay. Betrayal had a greater impact than love, you would be foolish to accept the latter. 

Leaving him behind, you step outside of the elevator. Realizing just how much more breathable the air outside the shaft was in comparison to being back inside holed up with your worst nightmare. Your moment of freedom is cut short when you feel his lean arms wrap around your waist pulling you back inside.

He's clinging onto you like a child refusing to let go as he rests his head next to your shoulder. His hot breath brushing against your neck, making you uncomfortable for many reasons that were quite obvious. He just wasn't single nor available and you couldn't let yourself be the other girl. 

“Please just—take a chance. I'm willing to cross oceans for you, tear apart anything that stands in my way because I love you. I'll break up with her, she's nothing like you. Why can't you see that I love you?” He rambles, his voice falling soft. Sehun sounds like he's about to fall apart as he speaks into the crook of your neck. 

His voice vibrating against your skin, echoing through your mind. Despite his tone being no louder than a whisper, his message came loud and clear. Slowly his plump, soft lips make contact with your skin as you freeze in place watching as the elevator doors slam shut. Moving downwards again you feel like you're slowly descending to hell. 

His actions gave you goosebumps as he peppered kisses against your neck. Using one hand to grasp your waist, holding you close to him. While the other cupped your cheek, tilting your head slightly so he could gain better access to your body, his kisses moving down south and landing onto your shoulder. Pushing your shirt slightly aside before gently biting down on your skin causing you to gasp. 

Sehun's touch was electrifying and almost hypnotizing, you felt yourself growing dizzy and out of touch with your surrounding. As he continued using his lips to convey how much you meant to him against your screaming mind that yelled at you not to do this to your best friend. But like a fool, you melt into his touch. Lips falling apart, as your chest heaves up and down. The air feels intoxicating as he rotates your head towards him. His lips crashing against yours as you feel like you're about to pass out. 

You can't give in, you can't betray your best friend and yet, you feel yourself kissing him back. Your tongue tangling with his, exchanging dirty, secretive kisses. Turning around to face him better you fall into all the places you knew weren't right and that was right into the arms of Sehun's. Intertwining your fingers with his, holding onto him tightly as if the only chance you'd have with him would be taken away. 

Now you knew what it meant to be selfish and just how delicious it tasted. 

The elevator is filled with the lewd, smacking of the shared kisses between you both. His body grinding into yours as you feel yourself growing heavy. Developing a strong heartbeat where your filthy desires lay. You felt yourself growing wet, shifting your thighs uncomfortably together. Feeling his hand snake down towards the waistline of your skirt, tugging on them. 

"You just have to say the word and I'm dropping everything and everyone for you," He says in between kisses as you tilt your head back in pleasure when you feel his fingers slipping past your skirt. Hovering dangerously over your soaked heat. "Do you want to run away with me?" He asks. 

You want to say yes. Your body having a mind of its own would rather speak for you but you just can't bring yourself to go through with it. The image of your best friend is hung up in your mind and even though the damage has already been done, you still don't think it's too late to stop. 

“I can’t and you know I won’t,” You reply, wincing at how your voice cracks. You didn’t want to seem weak in front of him, you needed to show him you had control over how you felt. That you were sure you didn't want him but it was all a lie. A lie you told yourself and in return had the truth spoken out loud by the actions of your body. 

Sehun knew of this and yet, his peppered kisses come to a halt. The grip he's got around you loosening as his hand slips out of your skirt. You step out of his grasp feeling ashamed, not daring to look at him. Turning around and staring at the doors instead. Fixing your shirt you crane your neck from side to side trying your best to calm down. Bringing a shaky hand towards the elevator buttons and clicking for your floor. 

You can feel Sehun's gaze boring holes into the back of your head. 

"I don't understand. Why can't you just let me love you? It's not that hard to just give me a shot. I can give you the world, give you all the happiness and security you need in life."

"--Let me be the man that protects you, that cherishes you. I know it's hard because of her but...don't we deserve to be happy?" He pleads, his voice wavering. If you had turned around to face him you'd see his lips quivering. His dark, brown eyes are glossy with tears threatening to escape from the tiny apertures of his tear ducts. 

But currently, it's your turn to fall silent. All because you know that despite him falling at the seams, begging you to love him you know that he'll only go back to being the same once he's got you twirling around his dainty fingers. His norm being the same silent person as always, emotionally unavailable and confusing as always. Plus, who's to say he won't just ditch you like he's doing to your best friend? 

"It's your turn to answer me," He pleads but you ignore him. Thanking the timing of the elevator for opening right at the end of his sentence. 

Quickly stepping off you pray that he doesn't snake himself around you again because if he does, you don't know if you had the power inside to fight him off again and thankfully he doesn't. Sehun leaves you alone watching you get out of his view, the sound of your Chelsea boots clicking against the hallway floors until suddenly you're just gone. A wave of heartbreak washing over his feelings as he realizes that he just can't sit here and do nothing. 

He won't go back to your best friend, he doesn't love her and in fact, he never did. It wasn't his choice to hurt her like this but he couldn't help but fall in love with the wrong person. So he chases you, chases the love of his life eager to satisfy his selfishness and have you by his side. 

The consequence of dealing with your best friend could come later but first, he needed to convince you once and for all that he was the only good thing in his life. Your best friend was to be replaced. 

   𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃: 𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐅𝐍𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐔©︎

#this was ass: not proofread properly. #oh sehun x reader #sehun angst #sehun x reader #oh sehun angst #oh sehun suggestive #oh sehun smut #exo angst #exo fanfic #exo x reader #i don't know tags: bye! #lmk what you think. #solange is in the mountains: queue! #sehun smut #sehun suggestive

[bbyheedeungie]

Valentine Study Date | Student!Heeseung AU

Pairings: Heeseung x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: none

Synopsis: Heeseung's valentine date with you doesn't go as he planned. But of course, he's not gonna let anything spoil his first valentine's day with you. No, not on his watch.

Author's note: a bit late for the occasion but I hope y'all enjoy this uwu

You really messed up. You messed up real bad. You failed your test in biology and you were scheduled for a retake on Monday. You really need to focus on studying, but you had a part time job every Saturday and Valentine's day was coming up on Sunday.

Ah, Valentine's day. The day that you and your boyfriend Heeseung had been looking forward to since it was going to be your first Valentine's together. He promised you a super cheesy romantic date that you were never ever going to forget. Being Heeseung's first girlfriend ever, he was really set on spoiling you and setting very high standards that no other guy can ever surpass anymore.

You knew how important that day is gonna be for Heeseung and how much effort he's putting into your date. That is why guilt is eating you up as you walk up to him as he was putting his books into his locker. You don't think you can bear to see his disappointed face.

"Heeseungie," You aporoached him. He stopped to look at you, his face immediately lighting up.

"Oh, Y/N! How was your day?" He asks as the corner of his lips move upwards to reveal his adorable smile that makes you want to squish his cheeks all the time. But today, you were too nervous to do so.

"It was fine," You say, staring at your shoes.

"Um hey, about sunday." You started. Heeseung just looked at you, anticipating what you had to say.

"IhaveatestonmondayandIhavetogoandstudyonsunday." You said quickly, just letting it all out. Heeseung blinked for a few times, trying to catch up on what you had just said.

"Ohh." He said simply. His reaction was unreadable, like he was thinking about something.

"Heeseung— baby, I'm so sorry. I know how much you were looking forward to Valentine's." You apologized, feeling so ashamed of yourself. He shooked his head, reaching his hand out to mess up your hair as he smiles at you warmly.

"Don't be sorry, silly. I know how important it is to pass that test. I will be cheering you on, okay?" He said, gesturing 'fighting!' with his fist.

"B-but our date—"

"Hey, we still have next year. And next next year, and many more years to come. So don't worry about it anymore." he reassured, and you feel like you want to cry and hug him for being so understanding.

"I love you so much! I'll make it up to you, I swear." You promise him. Heeseung simply chuckles, his bright smile appearing once again.

"I love you too, Y/N. So, shall I walk you home?"

Heeseung's gotta admit, he was sad that he wouldn't be able to take you out for the perfect date on Valentine's day. But then again, he immediately realized that the perfect date doesn't have to be fancy or outdoors. That is why as he cancelled the reservations he made for this fancy restaurant and refunding the movie tickets he got, he concocted a new plan.

———

Sunday night, it was 6pm and you were seated in front of your desk, taking down notes and highlighting your textbook when you got a text from Heeseung.

"Have you eaten dinner yet?" the text read.

Heeseung often scolded you when you didn't eat at the right time, whining about how you weren't taking care of yourself enough. But you couldn't lie to him though, and so you texted him back.

"No, not yet ㅋㅋ😅"

A few seconds passed and you immediately received another message from him. You can already imagine the displeased look on Heeseung's face, shaking his head and ready to scold you. That is why you were completely taken aback by his reply.

"Good. I'll be right over in 10 minutes."

You quickly stood up, tripping over your own feet on the process of rushing to your bathroom to freshen yourself up before your boyfriend arrives. You change into nicer clothes and remove your hair from it's messy bun, attempting to fix it into something that's not a bird's nest. You didn't even get a chance to apply a bit of makeup when your mom calls you from downstairs.

"Y/N! Come down here, Heeseung is here for you." She shouts. And so you jog down the stairs to greet him, a grin instantly etching onto his face as he sees you. Your heart flutters as you see the picnic basket he was holding, together with a box of chocolate truffles and a bouquet of flowers in his arm.

"Heeseungie, what is all this?" You ask in shock.

"Uhh, dinner?" He said, still smiling. He walks closer to you, offering the flowers and chocolate to you.

"Happy Valentine's day, Y/N." He says.

And so, the two of you went upstairs to your room, where he set up a romantic dinner date beside your bed, covering your bedroom rug with a picnic blanket. He even went as far as bringing led lights to scatter around the area to set the mood.

"You are so extra." You said as you hug him from behind, kneeling as he was sitting down and bringing out the food from the basket.

"Which is exactly what you deserve." He says as he removes your arms around him reluctantly and ushers you to sit with him.

"One plate of extra love and effort for you miss?" He said formally like a waiter, making you giggle.

"Did you cook those?" You asked, pertaining to all the dishes he brought. Heeseung scratches the back of his neck shyly.

"Well, I kinda asked Jay to help me." He says, making you raise your eyebrows.

"And by 'help' you mean..?" You trail off. He sighs in defeat, raising his arms in the air.

"Okay fine, he cooked and I tasted if it was alright." He admitted, making you burst into laughter.

"My compliments to the chef, then."

As you ate, you suddenly remembered about your Valentine gift to Heeseung. You've had it since last week.

"Heeseungie, I almost forgot to give you my present. Wait here." You say, rushing to your closet. His eyes simply follow you, his cheeks full of food inside.

You come back with a red box in your hands, placing it in front of Heeseung.

"Happy Valentine's day, Heeseung."

"And I thought I was good at surprises, you sneaky little girl. Thank you for this." He says as he unwrapped the ribbon and removed the top lid, revealing random stuff that you knew he likes. Ramen, lots of snacks and beverages, chocolates.

After dinner, the two of you lied down on your bed with your stomachs too full for you to even sit up straight. But Heeseung managed to roll over and stand up anyway. From the picnic basket, he pulls out his biology textbook and his notebook.

"Okay missy, time to get serious." He says, slapping your knee playfully, making you groan.

"Noooo." You whined.

"Let's just cuddle and watch movieeees." You say, making a puppy dog face at him that gets him everytime. But he shook his head, avoiding your pleading eyes because it's his greatest weakness.

"Sorry, no can do. This is part of our date, I'm tutoring you."

"It is?" you say, striggling to sit up. He helps you to do so, laughing lightly at how adorable you were.

"Yep. Now, shall we start our Valentine study date?"

#enhypen imagines #enhypen au #enhypen scenarios #enhypen #enhypen heeseung #enhypen niki #enhypen jungwon #enhypen jake #enhypen jay #enhypen sunwoo #enhypen sungwoon #enhypen fluff #lee heeseung #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop au #kpop fluff

[terushimas-n1-hater]

𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙞𝙣 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 ٭

𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐢𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Genre: kind of fluffy but its mostly angst

Warnings: toxic (abusive??) parents, arranged marriages, toxic relationships.

!Timeskip spoilers!

Playlists I listened to while writing this

"Good job..you did great out there."  You said with a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah" he smiled "thank you for your support, without you and many others I would've never won so, thank you"

He said with genuine smile on his face. He got closer to the sofa, he sat down letting out a long sigh "oh" he said as if he remembered something.

"Hey! Do you have a minute?"

"Yeah i guess"

"Okay okay here, i got you something."

he said handing you a bag "u- um thank you?" You're confused yet curious looking inside the bag you see a little box, it looked like a jewellery box...but why would he buy you jewellery? all you did was praise him and help him go through the tiring days because of training for the Olympics, so why would he buy you something expensive?

"You look curious, why don't you open it and see it for yourself." He said looking at you with a soft look. You took the box out of the bag opening it, What a gift....

It looks so beautiful

It was a pretty looking necklace. Its gold and Choker like with pretty little stars that go all around it. You remember wanting a necklace like this..

How did he know you wanted something like this?

Is this a coincidence?

You dont even talk to him that much?

What is he on exactly?

You looked at him and looked at the box again "uh..I saw you last month and how you were looking at that same necklace, it looked like you wanted it so um i got it for you" he said smiling softly

"But why? Is this out of pity or something?" You said with a confused face "what! Of course not! do..do you not like it?" "No no! I like it but its just kinda random.. since I didn't really do anything to deserve a gift like this.." You said sighing.

Your story with tooru was long.

You never wanted to marry a man. In fact the thought alone of a man's touch made you nauseous beyond all belief. But he.....wasn't any different from any other man you've always wanted to avoid. But with parents like yours, the moment they found out about your thoughts they completely lashed out on you saying that all those feelings and thoughts are not expected in their household. And Forcing you to marry a man that you never saw or knew about before in your life. I mean he wasn't mean to you never laid a hand on you.

But still, It didn't feel right.

You felt captured, you felt stuck in a dead end. Like there was no where else to go. Being a housewife for almost 2 years now made you fall in many depressive episodes. And he knew that, he knew so so well about all the depressive episodes you were in, He knew it all. He tried to help you, but there was nothing for him to do since he himself doesn't know you or anything about you.

Which made it harder for the both of you to understand each others struggles. He never forced you to stay inside the house and do stuff for him like how your parents want you to. He let you free, let you do what you want. There is nothing else for him to do. In fact the both of you thought about getting a divorce, but you both knew that both your parents would not let that happen. Although yes you both had something somewhat in common, you both loved space.

You specifically loved stars. And you could guess that he caught up with your love for stars. You wore a lot clothing and jewellery that had something with stars or space. He thought it was cute, so when he saw you looking at this very pretty necklace he knew you wanted it.

"First its not out if pity and second i got it for you since i kinda knew you liked stuff like this.." 

"Thank you tooru I really appreciate it."

I mean who wouldn't appreciate a gift like this?you loved and valued this gift but something just doesn't feel right with tooru honestly.. But it was just a gut feeling so you decided to just ignored it.

Again, tooru isn't the type that would keep you in his house and order you around. So you had many opportunities to get outside and have some fun you get me? Almost every weekend you'd get yourself all dolled up and go out with your friends For a little night out.

This not only made you happy and made you forget about all the shit you were going through, but it gives you a chance to do other fun things if you know what i mean. Hear me out, you knew it was wrong, so wrong actually. But it won't hurt anyone right? I mean tooru doesn't actually like you so, why not?

You did this with many people you meet at the club, specifically women. You loved it honestly. It made you feel more open and more happy about yourself. You didn't feel as captured as you used to, it was just great.

It was one of those nights again, you were laughing and chatting with one of your friends wearing (dress/suit wtv you prefer)

You felt so confident and happy. Moments later Your friend excused themselves to go to the bathroom, you nodded as they went to the bathroom. You were leaning on the bar and drinking your drink looking at the people on the dance floor drunkenly grinding and dancing together. You looked around to see this very pretty lady admiring you with a soft smile on her face, You smiled a bit while getting closer to her.

"Is there something on my face?" You asked with a cheeky smile

"No..i just thought you look pretty"

"Oh?"

"Very actually.." You giggled at that statement.

You and....aiko chatted for a pretty long time you kinda forgot about your friend. Aiko, aiko..what a pretty name, You were so interested in this girl honestly all you wanted to do is sit there and know all about her.

"What a pretty necklace you got there!" She said pointing at the necklace tooru gave to you.

"Oh! Yeah my.. brother gave it to me as a gift."

"Aww"

You both chatted for a while more and exchanged phone numbers

"Dont forget to text me!!" She said waving at you and blowing you a lil kiss.

You smiled and sighed, its probably time to go home.

You were looking for your friend to tell them that its time to leave, you took out your phone to call them and to know where they are until you saw you got some unread messages from them.

"Oooo ;)"

"Yall better make out after this."

"Okay I kinda ship bye"

"ANYWAYS..I'm going to leave this nasty azz club and leave ya too alone *wink wonk* "

"Love you AND DONT FORGET TO TEXT ME WHEN  YOUR HOME"

You smiled at the text messages. You really did appreciate having a friend like them..But, its time to head home now before it gets even more late. You paid for your drinks took your stuff on your way out.

You finally got back home, tooru was sleeping on your shared bed so now you have be extra careful not to wake him up.

After you changed and got ready for bed. Already texted your Friend letting them know you went home safely.

"Are you free this Tuesday?"

You just got a message from someone with the name "your bbg 😻" you chuckled remembering Akio saved here contact name on your phone that.

"Yeah i am!"

"Great wanna hang out? There is this café I went to before THEY SELL THE BEST BAGELS EVER"

"Oh sure!"

"Okay i will send you the location to the café tmr kk?"

"Okay goodnight bbg 😻"

"LMAO GOODNIGHT 💖💝💗💓❤"

.

.

.

¡A/n! : okay so ahm ahm I wrote this in a pretty bad mental state so, if there is errors or spelling mistakes OR ITS JUST BAD I apologise. But I do hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed thinking and writing about it!! I will be making a part 2 to finish this because I just realised that if I finish this all at once it would be a wattpad story type long lmaooo. Thank u and have a great dayy (ﾉ´ з `)ノ💕💞💓💗💖💝

[lousimusician]

I Want You Back (Part 1)

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Peter was too blind to realize you were slipping from his fingers.

Word Count: 1,145

Warning: Angst (This series is gonna have lots of angst, just so you know)

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around

Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd 

~~~~~~~

You were young and inexperienced when it came to dating but you did know one thing.

It wasn't supposed to be this hard.

You shouldn't have to feel like you were constantly fighting for any kind of attention. And if that made you sound clingy, so be it. It still wasn't right. 

Peter Parker. The love of your life.

Or at least, you thought.

The boy who tried so hard to ask you out, coming up with plan after plan to get you alone and finally tell you how he felt, had been ignoring you and you had no idea as to why.

You knew he was Spider-Man. You knew he had responsibilities. You knew that and most of all you understood it. You'd let him leave dates or cancel them if he had to. Especially after the blip, things were a mess and the people needed a hero more than ever.

But you're patience was really being tried when he decided not to show up without telling you, letting you wait for hours just to hear half-assed apologies after.

And with every unread text, unanswered phone call, to even the times you had to compete for his attention in school, you felt your heart break a little more.

And especially right now, laying on Peter's bed for about two hours, your phone held loosely to your ear as you listened to Peter's voice mail for the twelfth time that night. You felt your heart break that much more.

You didn't leave a voice mail. You don't anymore. He never checked them anyway. With a sniffle, you hung up the phone, and fought back the tears you knew would fall regardless.

It shouldn't be this hard.

You sat up on his bed, and glanced out the window, seeing the night sky. And with a sigh, you decided you finally had enough and stood up, wiping at your eyes.

With slow movements you grabbed your bag off the ground and walked out of his bedroom.

"May?" You called out. 

"In here sweetie!" She yelled from the kitchen.

"Hey." You greeted, seeing how she was in the middle of making dinner. "So, I think I'm just gonna head out now."

May frowned, "Still nothing from him?"

You looked down at your feet, as you felt fresh tears building up, and shook your head. You hated crying in front of May, especially when her nephew was the cause of it.

"Oh honey." She said sadly and you knew she could tell you were trying not to cry. "Come here." She walked over to you and pulled you into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, I really don't know what's gotten into him lately."

You wrapped your arms around her, as the tears started to fall. "I just-  I miss h-him." You sobbed, as May ran a comforting hand up and down your back.

"I know, sweetheart, I know. I'm gonna talk to him-"

You shook your head. "No, please don't. It's fine I swear." You muttered as you pulled away from her.

May's frown deepened as she looked at you, wiping frantically at your tears. She sighed. "...Alright. But I hate seeing you so upset."

You nodded. "I'm...yeah, I'm just gonna go now. Thanks May." You said as you started heading towards the front door.

"Walk home safe!" She called after you, and you hummed in response.

You shut the door behind you as you pulled out your phone and quickly dialled MJ'S number. It rang three times before she picked up.

"Hell-"

"You were right." You sniffled into the phone, cutting her off.

"Are you crying?"

"...Just a little. But you were r-right. He didn't show a-again. And I called him like twenty times a-and I've left even more texts b-but he won't respond, he keeps doing this to me and I don't know what t-to do anymore." You rambled, getting into the elevator.

MJ sighed. "You're not gonna like what I have to say."

"I usually don't." You lightly laughed, trying to feel any other emotion than the intense heart break you did feel at the moment.

"I think you either need to sit down and talk about it with him or just break up. He's been doing this to you for months now and you're miserable."

"Yeah." You sniffled, "I didn't like what you had to say... b-but I'll think about it." You mumbled, before saying your goodbye's and hanging up.

~

Peter sat perched on top of a roof on one of the many buildings in Queens, just waiting for someone to save or a criminal to stop.

Peter didn't know what time it was, he usually didn't when he was out on patrol, all he knew was that it must've been late and he knew he was forgetting something but he couldn't figure out what.

He had his phone in hand, quickly typing out an essay he had left to the last minute again.

"Karen, give me a synonym for impulsive."

"Impetuous, rash, hasty-" Karen's voice was suddenly cut off by a ringing. "(Y/N) is calling again, should I decline it?"

Peter groaned, "Again? Yeah you can decline it, and can you put her on mute."

"Yes."

"Thanks." Peter mumbled, finishing the sentence he had been stuck on for the last seven minutes.

"Peter?" He hummed in response. "Are you still dating (Y/N)?"

 "What? Of course I am." Peter mumbled.

"Really? Then why do you keep declining her phone calls and ignoring her text messages?" Karen asked.

Peter shrugged, "I dunno. She's been a little clingy since the blip. Which I get, but Queens still needs saving. Don't worry I'll make it up to her somehow." He said, furiously typing away on his keyboard.

"But there are no threats right now." Karen said skeptically.

"Might be... I just don't want to not be here when a threat does come along. But me and (Y/N) are fine, she understands my responsibilities. Hey, what were the major themes of Hamlet again?"

"Madness, Revenge, Religion, would you like me to list more?"

"No that's fine." The sun had been setting, and the roof was getting more and more uncomfortable. Peter sighed, "That should be good for now, I'll finish this later." He said, putting his phone away and getting up.

He stretched, before swinging away on a web to see if he could find anything to do.

Peter would eventually look back on this moment, wondering if he had just been a little smarter and answered the call, maybe just maybe he could've saved your relationship from crumbling in the weeks that followed.

~~~~~~~

Oh darlin' I was blind to let you go

_________________

A/N: I'm not too happy with how this came out, but it is just mostly set up for the parts to come which will definitely be even more angsty and interesting

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Permanent Taglist:

@Spiderdudeparker @peterparkers-waffles @smexylemony @ultimategalaxyprogram @xxxxdelenaxxxx @chonisberonica @meaningoflifeisfandoms @aegis-s-s @Just-random-stuff-18 @etherealhollandd @yourwonderbelle @roi-yang @ironspiderstark @runningoutofwordstosay @retroparkers @marvelismylifffe @marvelhoeingismyhobby @thebadtruth @loud-binch @cosmicparkerr

@thechickvic @magiclolipopqueen @httpmcrvel @parkeroffline @yang-seubinnie @lou-la-lou @all-of-the-fandom-trash @lovesaweed @your-1up-girl @kels-xoxo @spidermxnstan @zicoskokoro @tastyarreaga @etudaire-writes @heartbeats-wildly @stuffandstuff-stuff @ixchel-9275 @tra-gicx @drama-llama-04 @marvelrreigns @sargentjamesbarnes @capsassx3000 @xximaweirdoxx @r-wooooosh @swagsoulpenguin @sunflowerhollland @littlegreenpill @pastelpinkbubbles @tomxdaya @hiss-undying-fidelity @mama-jeonghan @hell-yeah-peter-parker @tommyhollandaisesauce @importantfireeaglefish @megabobtastic @kingccbsblog @ximaginx @ya-lyublu-tebya @spideyyypeter @bellamyblakemorley @marvellousparkerpeter

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #spiderman #spiderman x reader #tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker imagine #spiderman x y/n #spiderman x you #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman imagine

[b000mbayah]

Without

Warnings: I wrote this last year when I was dumb so ignore how putrid it is :)

Word count: 2k

Snow gliding through the sky as it piles up on the concrete streets. The sky is cloudy as a mist fogs up our surroundings. Streets of Seoul full of people looking for gifts for relatives. The festive holiday is coming up and people are able to spend the day with loved ones. I used to be one of those people.

I lost my true love a month ago. It was a stupid argument over the most irrelevant thing imaginable, I was just so fuming at the time that I had no idea what I had gotten myself into. It was a trap, either way I was screwed. If I had continued the argument it would have worsened and if I had stopped earlier she still would have left me.

I could see in her eyes that she was broken due to the amount of times I've done this to her. I broke her again... I've broken her for the last time, and now she's gone.

If I had said sorry she would have left, if I begged she would have left, if I had just stopped myself from shouting in the first place. She's scared of me now, her eyes so full of fear as she trembled on the spot. I'll never forget the way she looked at me every time.

The following mornings were full of me proving to her that I loved her whether she wanted it or not. I would have done anything to make her forgive my foolish actions, couldn't do that last month though. It all seems pointless, love. I mean there are positive and negative outlooks on love.

Love can fill you with pure joy and excitement to the point that you forget the numbness that you'll feel after it's over with.

It leaves you broken as if you're a ship with treasure that crashes onto land, losing all its precious moments and times as everything inside spills out, never to be found again.

There are more negatives to love than positives and I swear that I'll never forget her, she was the one I loved most and I let go of her hand, I let her slip and now she's gone.

watching her on stage made me cry every time, hearing the news JYP sent out made me depressed... hearing that she had to have a break from her schedules made me feel guilty.

I look around my room as I retreat away from the window, empty takeaway boxes and cans all around my room. My eyes droop down to my phone on the floor.

Cautiously, I crouch down and pick the electronic up off of the ground. I bite my lip as all my notifications pop up. Multiple miss calls and text messages from all my contacts.

I tap on my messages to see hundreds upon hundreds of messages from my contacts, all of my contacts had text me, all but one. The one that had deleted my number, I refuse to delete hers though, it contains too many memories for me to simply release into a void.

I gulp as I click onto Jihyo's contacts as our last conversation over the phone comes up. All of this was just before the final argument. I was questioning where she was and when she'd get home. She was only practicing with her other members in their dance studio, I let my jealousy get the best of me, again..

I throw the phone at the wall as I got dressed and headed out, I can't say in my apartment forever. I forced myself out the door for the building and into the chilly winter breeze. I inhaled and exhaled the fresh air before taking steps towards the supermarket.

Layers of trampled snow surround the street. As I pass shops I take a simple look inside.

"Y/N!" I turn on my heel to be greeted with my best friend running up to me, a member of twice. I let out a broken smile as sana springs up to me with a massive grin and arms open.

Within seconds she gives me a bone crushing hug. ''y/n, please tell me you're okay?" sana rushes in a speed faster than chaeyoungs rapping skills.

"yeah, I'm just.... Upset about the situation" I frown as she gives me a look of sadness. She nods her head and opens her mouth, "I'm upset as well, I really liked you two together" sana smiles at her words as I gulp, she really liked us together?

"I've been trying to contact you for weeks and weeks but nothing, please may I take you to dinner? You look like you haven't been eating the correct amount of food, I need to stuff you up I time for Christmas" sana says with a worried tone

"s-sure" I stutter out as she grabs my hand and takes me through crowds of people that surround the streets and up to a fancy restaurant where richer people would dine. "w-we cat eat here, it's to expensive, I don't want to cost you that much money"

"no y/n, it's okay, it's nothing really only a few hundred. My clothes are worth more than this'' sana giggles out as she gets us a table with a view of a frozen pond. It took us what? Twenty minutes to get here for a view I'd a pond with what's most likely to be frozen fish inside. I'm not complaining but like those poor fish...

"Take your time, when you're ready to order please ring this bell" a waiter explains as she hands us the menus. We thank her before she walks away.

"what do you fancy getting?" sama asks as I scan the menu's dishes. "urm, the... Mmmm"

"steak?" sana asks me as u nod and go along with the choice. Sana hums as she also decides on what she's getting. I ring the bell as the waiter from before comes back with a pen and notepad.

"what can I get for you ladies?" they ask as sana gives him the order. He bows and leaves us. I turn my head to sana who's wearing a permanent smile right now.

"please come round to our dorm, the girls miss you" I tilt my head before nodding.

"sure but I may have to avoid jihyo" sana frowns at my words but nods her head.

Soon after the meal I ended up at the dorm. Still have no idea how I'm going to deal with this but I'm just going to have to hope for the best I guess. Sana pushes the door open silently, we take our shoes off before continuing on. As we creeped up on tzuyu, even though there was no point, I managed to make eye contact with momo who was eating the packet of cookies I had sent her months ago. She must be really far behind in her food gifts if she's only eating them now.

I place a finger to my own lips as she nods and watches with curiosity filling her eyes.

As we were practically behind Tzuyu we both leap at the same time, causing tzuyu to let out a yelp as we all tumble to the floor. I let out a giggle as tzuyu groans due to the impact. "Get off of me you pathe- y/n?" tzuyu changes the subject half way through as notices me. I smile and give her a small wave. "what are you doing here?" she questions looking at me like she's trying to read me.

oh so I'm a book now????

"I invited her-" I cut sana off, "she dragged me here, oh it was awful, she demanded it and she explained how she would burn down my house and throw me in a ditch if I didn't come" I dramatically say as sana huffs out a gush of air.

"alright then... If you say so but please get off of me, you're both killing me" tzuyu states as we stand back up, dusting ourselfs off.

We enter the living room to see everyone here, including Jihyo...

"Y/N!" everyone in the room exclaims but Sana, Tzuyu and Jihyo. I somehow become covered with six different females as they squeeze me like a teddy bear. Once they all release me, I give them a wide smile and bow as they copy my action.

"y/n, how have you been? We've been busy with-" and I couldn't hear anything dahyun was saying, I am way more focused on Jihyo. Her expression is unreadable as she gulps from time to time. her eyes dart around to find an excuse to leave but nothing comes to her mind.

As soon as she looks up we lock eye contact. I forgot how much I loved those eyes, her eyes show dedication, passion, strength, love... All the things I wish I had. I probably sound whipped for her and the truth is, I am. I would do anything for us to get back together but that wont happen.

"right y/n?" I break eye contact as I respond with a simple nod since my throat is sore from all the crying and screaming I've been doing. I really have been beating myself up over this break up.

"I said that her hair looked like a donkey on steroi-" and blank out again as I make eye contact once again with Jihyo. Only this time we break it for a few seconds before reuniting our eyes.

Without me or Jihyo noticing, Tzuyu manages to take the other members away to give us alone time. Once we realise they're gone an awkward situation is placed between us...

"how have you been?" she begins as she examines the pictures hung on the walls. "pretty bad, you?" I respond as she gulps down on air. "same, what's your reason?"

I freeze, thinking on if should I tell her the truth or not? There's nothing wrong with the truth. "if I'm honest... I've been beating myself up about the breakup, I'm deeply sorry for how I treated you Jihyo. That month I had spent alone had given me time to reflect on my behaviour and what I have done" Jihyo looks at me with an interested look but there's also something else there. "continue..."

"the way I treated you during that relationship was completely irresponsible, I had spent that entire month locked up in my apartment crying about what I had done, I was so frustrated with myself that I couldn't bring myself to forget about it and I'm sorry if I'm invading your personal space by being here but I really hope that one day you can forgive me" my voice goes shaky towards the end as tears form in the corner of my eyes. Jihyo looks me up and down, about to say something when the door opens up.

I watch as a male walks up to Jihyo, I could only see the back of his head as he's asking her questions before turning around to face me. RM? "she doesn't want to see you, please leave her alone she has me now."

My eyes widen in shock but I bow and apologise once again before rushing out crying again. I rush past the other members who share a look of concern before chase after me calling my name. I ignore them though and continue to rush my way out of that place, not wanting to be there anymore due to the once sweet but  now awful memories I have there.

[vicky-shitposts]

reflections

19th Feb 2021,

last night was crazy. me and zoe finally made up, and when i was telling her about my giant pyramid project in minecraft, she said she's going to move into it with me - girl really likes to keep me on my toes. she also wore a beanie and a flannel and the gay inside me exploded. had to remind myself that i am, in fact, not in love with her. finally got around to watching Name Of The Doctor too, but it was really hard to see it through my crying; totally worth it, and seeing Walter Simeon hold the Doctor's face uh, did something for me. Phoebe was also kind enough to check out all of Inner Mechanism for me and was a total darling about the whole thing. they also "green lit" the project for me, so now it's all systems go to add the final perfecting touches. first proper teaser went on my instagram: "this is my sacrifice, this is my exile". might do the second one later today, "watch this space..."

sipping coffee, painting my nails black and watching interviews. about two hours ago i was lost in tiktok, just scrolling mindlessly with not a single hope or care in the world. it was really nice and felt like a trance. a year ago today, the world was normal and calm and i was in wales. i went to see my best friend at the time, as well as her girlfriend, but the entire fiasco turned into a shambles; in short, i just felt like i wasn't wanted there after completely running myself down and investing my own time and money to get there. i stopped speaking to her a few weeks after as a result, but she came back out of nowhere last month and messaged me for some reason. i haven't got to the bottom of why or what happened, part of me is too scared to hear the truth. i haven't spoken to her in a while. i have an unread message from her, so i think i should drop a line and say "a year ago today i was with you, you were with your ex and the world was stable".

finally read some more of my fucking book at last!! did so while listening to Who Am I? - Pale Waves yet again. enjoyed it a lot more this time around. was speaking to Lyndon a few days back, saying how i often get bored with new albums around halfway through; Who Am I? is only 33 minutes long mind you, which doesn't constitute an album runtime in my "professional" opinion - i've made some money from my music which constitutes me as professional, right?? back to my point at hand. it flowed a lot better this time and it didn't leave me feeling bored by the second half. it flew by and again was a perfect reading soundtrack, thought i did prefer it the last time when it was executed within a moving vehicle. a friend of mine called James also checked out my Underworld single yesterday, said he really liked it and loved the beat, which really meant a lot.

lego set arrived and oh god, is it beautiful. it's so big!! and it comes with a couple other things beside the main rocket itself; it's so cute, so cool and so worth the money!! Iron Lady also came today, so once the night crawls in i'll be sitting down to watch it. who's gunna take bets on if im gunna cry or not?? but lyndon did say if i cry over a Margaret Thatcher film, it makes me a tory - rahhhh that's actually so peak fam :///

i can see why Meryl Streep was highly regarded in The Iron Lady. but while she does play the part extremely well, i couldn't help but feel so upset and distressed by the film. i'm a history student and hear about things in passing, like the cold war and the falklands war; none of which have never been taught to me at school, and therefore i have no clue of any detail concerning them. after seeing this film, i can only assume that thatcher had a huge role to play in the falklands war. to see so much terror, death and bloodshed under the reign of one woman?? this is the past history of the place that i was born and live in, and it disgraces me. this was supposed to be about the life of a woman but with so many explosions, acts of terror, stock footage of people fighting police officers, buildings on fire and people bleeding on the street... what have i come from?? this woman served under the same party as we have here and now, and it made me start to think. what if people retaliated against boris johnson in the same way?? what if his second in command was blown up, or a hotel he stayed at was bombed?? it's scary to think the power that people have, and when they upset the public, how hard they fight back. and if thatcher was the reason for all of those explosions and deaths, then i feel ashamed. i can understand why people despise her and her party. were discussing the idea of "what is history?" in one of our first history lessons last year, and we concluded that it is to record the errors of the past to ensure that we don't make the same mistakes in the present or the future. to learn from our past for a better future. i hope that above all, we have learnt from our past and never experience anything similar. i couldn't handle it in the film, so god only knows how i would take the real thing. but i can tell you here and now - hope is the only thing keeping me going.

i want to conclude today with some quotes that i have recently discovered and fell in love with: "the name you choose is like a promise" - Doctor Who; "i love being called a bastard. it somehow implies that the most heinous thing i have done is exist" - Lord Byron.

#reflection #mirror #photography #black and white #duality #diary #diary entry #sad #lonely #down #aesthetic #selfie

[simpstar123]

Stream || Josh Bradley

Requested - No, but requests are always open 💕

A/n -✨🧚‍♀️I need to be more consistent istg 🧚‍♀️✨ Also sorry this one's shorter

Word Count - 892

6.30.20

Josh had been streaming FIFA for just under two hours when he had finally stopped to take a break. He refilled his drink and sat back down to talk to his viewers. "So what's up guys?" he asks between sips of his water. He watches the chat go by for a minute, glancing through the many responses and questions. A specific one catches his eye and he reads it aloud without thinking.

"Are you interested in anyone at the moment?" he says, laughing slightly to himself. These streams usually end up going in this direction when he reads the chat. Maybe it was because the fans had all been speculating for a while that Josh likes his close friend, Y/n. Normally he deflects the questions. However, being as tired as he is, he had pretty much stopped thinking his words through completely.

"Of course. I like Y/n a lot... I think she's amazing and anyone would be insanely lucky to have her, but that's not gonna be me. She'd never feel the same. So don't expect me to actually say yes, but yes." he rants, then stops, processing what he just told everyone. He looks into the camera like a deer in headlights and clears his throat loudly.

"Um yeah, don't tell her I said all of that though," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. The chat floods with sympathetic messages promising that she won't find out from them. Josh trusts his fans since they had always proven themselves to be pretty loyal. Luckily for him, the peak of the stream was a while ago and, while there was still a decent amount of people watching, it was a much less worrying number than it could have been.

Y/n had gotten lucky as well though, tuning into the stream just around ten minutes before Josh had taken his little break. She'd heard everything, although she didn't quite believe it at first. She watches the messages pour into the chat about keeping the secret and laughed softly to herself. Her first idea is to text Josh, something as simple as 'hey' to grab his attention while she tries to put what she actually wants to say into words. She instead settles on a slightly more public option. Her name was a pretty recognizable one, and it wouldn't be difficult to get attention in the chat. She waits until everyone else's messages had died down a bit before she sent her own. It was a heart emoji, just enough to achieve the desired results without being over-the-top.

Josh's heart practically stops when he notices the little emoji in the chat. It wasn't necessarily anything out of the ordinary, except for the name next to it. The chat immediately goes wild again as each and every viewer realizes the significance of the message. For a second, Josh was unsure that he'd even read the name correctly, but reading the messages that followed it convinces him that it was real. He locks eyes with the camera, then glances back at the chat, and back again to the camera. He feels his face turning a deep shade of red as he smiles nervously.

"Oh uh, hi," Josh finally manages to choke out, internally freaking out. "How long have you been here Y/n?" He desperately tries not to sound as ridiculous as he feels. He suddenly wishes that he had been able to keep his mouth under control for a minute, just another minute, and he wouldn't have totally exposed himself live to all his fans as well as his crush.

Y/n chooses to text him as she figured it would be much more convenient for both of them. He continues scanning the chat for a message from her until he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. He unlocks it shakily and reads the new message.

Y/n: Sorry, thought this would be better as the chat is a bit of a mess. I've been around for maybe half an hour, probably not even that long.

Josh: So you heard all of that?

Y/n: If you're talking about your feelings for me, then yes.

It was really sweet and I like you a lot too, Josh.

Josh, unable to speak properly after the short text exchange, holds his phone up to the camera. He waits for it to focus and then laughs awkwardly. "She likes me," Josh says, sounding more like an excited little kid than he ever has. The chat becomes practically unreadable. It was full of heart emojis and sentimental paragraphs. The two both happen to glance at the chat at the same time and see the same message.

"I feel like I've just witnessed the beginning of something beautiful." They each read to themselves. They remain smiling as the message gets swept away in a sea of similar expressions. Josh quickly apologizes for ending the stream early before shutting everything off. He calls Y/n without a second thought.

"Hey," she says as soon as she answers the phone.

"Hey," he replies, sighing with relief, "So...would you like to go out sometime?"

"Sure," she smiles, laughing softly at his hesitation. "I'm free tomorrow night."

"Sounds good. I'll pick you up at 7," he says, feeling a sudden wave of excitement wash over him.

#fanfic #zerkaa #sidemen #sidemenimagine #zerkaahd #josh bradley

[lightsorigins]

Fluctuations

 When he opened his eyes, Malden remained as straight as a board. He stared at the bedroom ceiling for a few seconds before turning his head to the window. The shutters were wide open. Yet he remembered that Kieran had closed them the night before. It didn't matter. He stood up slowly and felt the icy cold of the systemic dawn make him shiver. It was around nine o'clock, the sun was rising. Even slower than he was, he thought. Malden knew that it was not easy to be more phlegmatic than he was.

      - Except you, Mr. Sun," he murmured, still leaning out the window.

      He lost himself in his thoughts for a few minutes. Now that he'd had a good time with his friend, he'd have to think about going home and face his mother's wrath for allowing himself to leave the day before. What an idea to get up so early! He remembered very well that sleep had come late, and fatigue would quickly overcome him during the day. Malden turned and saw Kieran lying on his back, his blanket over part of his body diagonally. He was sleeping with his mouth open and snoring so loudly he could have woken a dragon. The sight made him chuckle.

      Discreetly, he collected his things, put on his shoes, and left the apartment without waking anyone. He put on his headphones and played "How Long Can I Go" by "Sam Celentano". Once outside, several options came to mind. There was a park north of Lausya, where he often went to play sports. He also had a painting he had started and wanted to finish. However, the longer he stayed outside, the more problems he would have to deal with when he returned.

      - It's up to me. I can go to the park and do push-ups. Take up my painting, knowing that I might run into mom. Maybe I can give Sylva a call and see if I can't come over early. I could have stayed at Kieran's, but now that I'm out, I'm not going to wake him up to come back... And seeing as he's asleep, he won't wake up, that's for sure, he concluded by putting his hand on his face.

      Malden suddenly noticed that he had a few unread messages. Naturally, these were from his mother. The most important one was this:

"I don't appreciate your attitude lately. We'll have a discussion as soon as you get home. You know there are rules to follow in this house, and they apply to everyone, even you! »

      The first response that came to mind was "You never liked my attitude, and you never understood me. "But he found it too tiring to get into a conflict with her. It was better not to escalate the situation. Akane, his mother, had been an adventurer during her youth. During certain periods, it happened that she went on adventures for a few weeks with her old group of friends. She is a Gial (Earth) atmologist, focused on the Veltôs (Control) path, and her atmology is an ochre red. At a very young age, Akane received a strict and hard education, and also underwent many hazing which forged her character for sure. She has never been an example of softness. This hard and uncompromising character made communication with Malden particularly complicated over the years.

      It didn't matter in the end. Malden decided to get on his way and go home. He might as well face Mother Dragon as quickly as possible to put out the flames. Unfortunately, it didn't take much for his mood to be affected. These expressions from his mother reminded him how lonely he felt in his family, despite the good relationship he had with his sister Sawako, and his brother Hayate. He always ended up being seen as too intense, too whiny or touchy and moody. When he thought about it, however, Malden knew that factually he lacked nothing. He was a healthy, rather good-looking young man, good at a few subjects, athletic, with a group of sympathetic and understanding friends, a certain amount of freedom in his personal life, and so on. However, it seemed that something was missing.

      It was as if there was a void somewhere. A fear of not living up to his own image, or of failing at what he could do. He was so special that he could be admired for the strangeness of his thoughts and artistic productions, but also stigmatized, and found "weird", or "unapproachable", to use terms he had heard about himself. Yet he longed to be accepted for who he was, without becoming like everyone else.

    When he opened the door to the apartment, he expected to find his mother getting ready for work. Instead, he found Sawako sitting in the kitchen. She was having breakfast: a glass of hot delicatessen milk with a little pethmergale sugar. The whole thing made the milk look dark and creamy. She was reading a manga while smoking a cigarette.

      - Hi! he said. I didn't think you'd be here at this hour. I thought I'd find Mom instead.

 -      Nah, she left pretty early this morning to buy some stuff. I don't think she's gonna be back for a while. Where did you go anyway? Kieran's?

      - Yeah. We wanted to watch "Alvist Wars" quietly, but Isaac had come into my room yesterday to snoop on something. I yelled at her, she got involved and... well, you know mom.

      - Yeah, I know what you mean. Well, she wasn't too happy about it. In fact, she was angry that you broke like that. I understand, but you could have avoided it, or told me about it. I would have tempered the situation a bit, you know how I usually do.

      - I know, but Kieran kind of rushed me, I didn't have much time to make my decision. I've done this plenty of times before, but it seems like yesterday was worse than usual. Why is that?

      - Didn't Mom tell you what we have to do tonight?

      - No?

      - Okay, too weird. Well, actually we're supposed to go to Welliyo with Dad, Mom and Helen to see Melva. Maybe there's some news about her memory, but nothing transcendent you know.

      Malden hiccupped in surprise and recoiled slightly. He felt stupid, but also excluded for not having been kept in the loop.

      - Is she serious? Why didn't she tell me?

      - I think she was going to propose to you yesterday.

      - Suggesting me the day before for the day after? What if I had something to do? Yes, I would have canceled. I would cancel anything to go see Melva, but still.

      - Anyway, chances are that's why she's so upset about your escapade yesterday. You should just apologize and tell her you'll be there tonight, if you want to be safe. I'll cover for you, but do what I say. I mean, I'll figure out how to fix it, I'll improvise.

      - And you think you can get Isaac to stop making my life miserable?

      - Don't worry, I'll work it out by ruining his. There are a few things he and I need to discuss. He's still asleep, but I'm setting him up for a real wake-up call.

      - You're handling it, thanks. I have to go see Sylvania this afternoon. Do you think you can handle that too?

      - Consider it done," Sawako replied, winking at him. 

 Malden knew he could always count on her in many circumstances. At 27 years old, she was the oldest of her siblings, and therefore the one with the authority right after her parents. And fortunately, Sawako had a lot in common with Malden. Both of them were very sensitive and attached to their deepest values, but Sawako tended to be more withdrawn and passive than her brother. She was a specialist in the art of running away and saying nothing, letting go, sleeping and lazing around. Beyond her studies in water atmology, she loved to write poetry, fiction, and play video games with horror, romance, and role-playing themes. At least that's what her mother told her. Malden, on the other hand, was much more active and enjoyed going out, shopping and discovering more about the world around him. With his pocket money, he bought a lot of things like incense, posters and an infinite amount of clothes that he could wear according to his moods. Besides,

    since he would have to go back to Sylvania in the afternoon, he started looking for different clothes to change into after his shower. Leaving his hair down, Malden put a diamond-shaped earring in his left ear, as well as a golden pendant with a small sphere. He put on a gray sweater with "N.O.T.H.I.N.G." in bright green letters. Further down, in small print, it read "Nobody On This Healthiest Irrelevant Narrow-minded Globality. ». Malden liked to wear this sweater when he wasn't sure how he felt. He often hoped that those closest to him would be able to decode this information and understand how he was feeling by carefully observing how he dressed. But it never worked.He went to his room to finish getting ready. After putting on his black shorts and sneakers, the same green as his sweater's typography, he heard his mother coming back to the apartment. Sawako immediately struck up a conversation with her. Malden reached out to listen.

      - Malden is back to the point.

      - Is he in his room?

      - Yeah, but I think it's best to leave it alone for a bit today.

      - Oh no! Have you seen how he's acting right now? I have to talk to him, this is too much. And he doesn't answer the messages I leave! That's not an attitude!

      - I know, I know mom. But he's a teenager, so you have to imagine that he's going to do a few more silly things like that.

      - Sawako, do you defend your brother when he takes the wrong path? Do you think you're helping him to act that way?

      Akane spoke loudly and raised her voice with every sentence. She was panting, exhausted from bringing all the groceries alone from the store. Despite her intensive training as a fighter, she was much less active since she had built her family life, and was therefore much more quickly tired for actions that, in her youth, were just a walk in the park for her.

 -      Plus no one helped me with the groceries today! I have to do everything alone in this house, it's not possible! Call your father for me, so he can come and help me clean up instead of sleeping again!

      - Mom, I'm not defending Malden, but I think you're overreacting a bit. He just went to Kieran's. He wanted to watch "Alvist Wars" and he came home early. He's doing well in school and he doesn't have bad company. Don't you think you should leave him alone for a while and deal with Suzanne and Hayate, who are always provoking him?

      - Yes, yes it's good. Okay, I'll leave it. Let him do. Call your father now. Is Malden coming tonight so we can go visit Melva, yes or no?

      - It will be there.

      Malden smiled broadly and clenched his fist in victory. What could he do without Sawako? He felt himself growing wings. The weekend would probably be much more enjoyable than he had imagined. Grabbing his cell phone, he decided to send a message to Sylvania.

      "Hi Sylva 😊! Do you think we could eat together this lunch? Like, at a snack bar not too far from your place, and then we spend the afternoon together like we said? »

      Every time he took the time to send her a message, Malden's hands were shaking and sweaty. Would he choose the right words? Was he being pushy? Or too weird? Did she realize how he felt about her? And even worse: did he really feel something for her? And this something, was it love? It was so complex for him to understand, so difficult to be totally sure, considering the particular situation. Didn't she just remind him of his sister, who is now in the hospital and he misses her so much? Malden didn't know. He always came to the conclusion that it was probably best to let it go and see where it would take him.

      His phone vibrated. It was her. She had just answered! He hurried to open the message.

      "Hi Malden! That's a really cool proposal. Where do you want to eat? And what do you want to eat? Something usual and not too far away, just to do it quietly? »

      "Noon, at the pizza place across the street from you? »

 "Perfect! See you later! »

      Since everything was already planned, all he had to do was spend the time he had left doing something he liked. So he threw himself into the painting he had started a few days ago. Malden was fond of searching for photographs of various places in the Mysticiën, and recently his attention had been drawn to pictures of the Omaltäb Forests in Almarosa territory to the south. He was busy redrawing the trees with pink, dark blue, green or even black foliage that could be found there. The simple fact of smelling the paint in the room made him feel a certain fullness that nothing else could give him. After taking care to lock the door of his room so as not to be disturbed, he painted for a long time and moved forward on his canvas. If for some reason he couldn't become an alvist or a martial artist, Malden knew he would become a painter and would do everything he could to fulfill that dream. And even if he did become an alvist and a martial artist, he would be a painter too! With his savings, he vowed to buy a high performance camera and take photographs from original angles and then redesign and paint unusual places in the country, giving them a special interpretation with special color schemes. This was how he would communicate to the world the way he perceived and felt the universe. This idea excited him.

      Shortly before the appointment time, Malden rushed to the front door to get going. When he opened it, he passed the kitchen, where he saw his parents preparing dinner. While he was already on the landing, he heard his mother's authoritative voice.

      - Be back by five o'clock, we'll go see Melva. We won't wait for you forever.

      - Uh, yes, Mom. See you tonight!

      - That's it," she said dismissively.

      The sun was shining on Lausya, accompanied by a rather strong wind. A gust of wind blew straight towards Malden, removing his hood and messing up his hair. He who wanted to be elegant for Sylvania, it was from now on lost pain. He sighed discreetly while putting back his hood. That was not going to dry his good mood found. He was now listening to "Apricot" by "Sam Celentano". Malden could already imagine himself with Sylvania teaching him some scales and making him listen to her melodies. Her calmness, her kindness and her rigor were for him like nectar and ambrosia. He admired her terribly, and these sentimental questions about her were very recent. But he had known her for a few years already.

      After a few minutes, Malden reached the main square where Sylvania and her mother lived. There was a fountain in the center, and some stone slabs decorated with flowers tended by the city's gardeners. A few people were there, including groups of children who had come to buy pancakes or ice cream, despite the cold season. Sitting under a white umbrella at one of the many tables of the local pizzeria, Sylvania was waiting patiently, her phone in hand. She had let her long red hair down, was wearing a white dress with blue polka dots and a small silver necklace and a pair of simple earrings of the same complexion. When she saw Malden, she waved at him.

      - Hi! How are you? I'm so hungry! I've already reserved a table for the two of us, so what should we order? Asked she, cheerful.

      - I'll probably have a salad with a slice of pizza. I'm not very hungry, but it'll do for me!

      - Are you sure you'll have enough energy to listen to my news and convince me to join your group if you don't eat enough? She joked.

      - Don't worry about it. I want you to join us enough, I don't need a pizza to help me!

      After they had actually placed their order, the two young people ate together and talked about the rain and the weather. Malden admired the way Sylvania spoke about her extracurricular activities, but also her involvement in various social struggles. She was already very active on Signold - a well-known social network on Elzetarân - and shared many videos about animal causes and ecology. Sylvania already seemed to be a big shot and followed very closely the actions of the Renovators' Guild. It was a group of atmologists and adventurers of all kinds, formed several decades ago. They were in charge of monitoring the development of the ecosystems and biomes of Elzetari after certain confrontations, whose damage could have seriously damaged various places and destroyed the fauna, as well as the flora.

      Time passed without them noticing. Soon enough, they finished their meal and went to Sylvania. Coming from a well-to-do family, they lived in a large residence where the richest inhabitants of Lausanne were to be found. The mayor, Oscar Fanghël, lived nearby with his wife and son. Malden was always impressed when he set foot in Sylvania's house: everything was always so clean! The living room seemed huge and everything he saw seemed to be priceless. The marble walls of a very light and sober

grey were decorated with paintings showing fantastic scenes. One could see atmological warriors fighting carniocs and wild creatures in the skies, unleashing various elemental forces.

      - Every time you come over, you can't help but leave your eyes glued to the picture in the living room. You know I'm going to end up asking my mom if I can give it to you, right?

      Malden flinched and blushed. He had never realized how much these paintings could absorb him. The idea that he might be seen to be lusting after them embarrassed him.

      - Oh no, not at all! It's just... I really wish I had a talent like that. You know, I see how well the color scheme is mastered, it drives me crazy! There is the light, so well reflected, and the contrast between the atmos used by the fighters on the painting, the expression of pain on the creatures, and even the effects of the wind that blows even though we don't see it. It's beautiful. Every time I see it, I feel like it's the first one.

      - I think it was Cleora Stolteïska who made this painting. I would have to see it again with my mother. And it seems to me that she is still alive. Maybe one day, if you meet her, you can ask her how she did it?

 Malden's eyes seemed to light up. He began to do some research on his cell phone and found more of the painter's work.

 -      Wow, she's so good... If I met her, I wouldn't even know how to ask her questions. Well, anyway, I'll deal with that when I get home. For now, I have someone else talented to admire on her compositions, right?

      - Don't overdo it! I'm just getting by on my mom's classes when it comes to reproducing classics. For my creations, it remains to be seen... I'm not very comfortable with the idea of doing new things, that go out of the box, I'm afraid it won't be very pleasant to the ear, also because...

      - Hey, Sylva! he interrupted her. It's not serious, you have to try in life. Let me listen!

      - But if you think it's ugly, you probably won't want me in your group.

      - Does this mean that you want to join our group so badly that I don't actually need to convince you?

      She hiccupped with surprise and put her hands in front of her mouth. Sylvania had tricked herself. She was more interested in the idea of being part of this music group that was forming than anything else, but she didn't want it to be so obvious. She would still be seen as the girl with no friends, who craved acceptance from others.

      - It's true," she sighed. Well, enough wasted time. Sit down on the couch. I'll play you this little piece. I was inspired by "rocking horse" by "Etolica. ».

      Without adding a word, Malden settled comfortably on the black velvet sofa. Sylvania took her turn on the small purple seat where she sat to play the piano. She had her back to him, slowly positioning her fingers on the keys. The girl took a deep breath before starting to play the first notes of her composition. The start was awkward but soon she gained confidence and began to play with more assurance. The notes flowed together with a certain smoothness.

      To Malden, it was as if a beautiful story was being told. He was so impressed by her dexterity that he wanted to get closer to her to better admire her performance. However, for fear of distracting her, he preferred to stay behind and come without making any noise. She was in front of the large window, giving on a great part of the city. He admired the view as he listened to the soft melody played by his friend, while he imagined how these notes would blend with Teano's expertise on the guitar, Kieran's voice and his drumming.

      The listening went on for almost three minutes, during which time Malden was totally transported. He found himself re-admiring the painting by Cleora Stolteïska that hung on the living room wall. This creation and Sylvania's composition went so well together that he imagined one day he would be a painter of masterpieces and she a professional pianist, creating melodies around his world-renowned paintings. An exciting future, from which he exited as soon as Sylvania gave the last note of her essay. A few seconds were necessary for her to come back to reality. She took again a big inspiration, then she got up and turned slowly towards her friend. The window was left open, and a cold breeze crossed the room and shook her long dress as well as her hair. An image that stuck in Malden's mind and he swore to himself that he would paint this scene.

      - There, now you know my little music. I know it's probably too soft for what you're doing, but it's the best I have in stock right now.

 -      Sylvania, it's really beautiful. It's probably silly and simple as an opinion, but I don't know what else to add... Then, I don't play the piano, so I imagine that there are things to be revised, it's possible. But anyway, I really liked it. You know Kieran, he likes it when it moves a little bit more, but then Teano will be over the moon, you can believe me!

      - Do you think so? She asked hesitantly, as she nervously played with her fingers.

      - I don't think so: I know so! Will you show me some other things? Songs you learned with your mother for example, maybe we could rework some of them and see how to create other songs together from that!

      - It's a good idea. So, let's see...

      All afternoon long, Sylvania and Malden discussed and studied in detail different compositions, some of which they took care to select to present to Malden and Teano. Gradually, more than his ambiguous attraction to Sylvania, it was his passion for art and music that took over. He was very curious and concentrated in these tasks, as she was too.

      Since the time for him to be reunited with his family was fast approaching, Malden prepared to leave to avoid being late. But just before he left, Sylvania received a phone call that seemed to puzzle her.

      - An unexpected call? he asked.

      - Well... It's Annabelle. You know, the girl in Sara's class.

      He looked at her with a puzzled look.

      - Maybe it's her mother calling? I think she works with yours, right?

      - Not anymore. They kept in touch but... Well, wait. "Hello?" She says.

      "Yes, Sylvania? It's Annabelle. Sorry, we haven't talked in a while, but I've been trying to reach Sara and even her brother but no one answers! »

      "No worries Anna. But do you need anything? »

      "This will probably sound weird to you, but my grandfather came back from a long trip a few days ago. And you'll never guess: he brought back with him a Phelidus Tenebris! »

      As Sylvania turned on the speaker phone, Malden also heard the news. He struggled to keep his astonishment from being heard. The Pelidus, whatever their nature, were extremely powerful creatures and known to be dangerous.

      "A Phelidus? " Sylvania repeated, worried. "It's still very dangerous! Do the authorities know that this creature is here, in Lausya? What do you want us to do for you? »

      "She's dying and has little ones... six to be exact. That's a bit long, and I don't have much time. Listen, I wish you could come to my house together as soon as possible, you and Sara and the others. Grandpa will be there, he'll be able to explain. »

      "I... well, okay Annabelle. I hope it's nothing serious anyway. I'll see what I can do to keep them updated and get back to you! »

      "Thank you Sylva! »

      She hung up her phone and looked at Malden, stunned.

      - A Pelidus with babies... How often do you hear such stories?

 -      Even the participants of "War of the Alvists" don't have Pelidus! Malden added. The thing I remember is that his grandfather must be really good. Renyu says you can only find them at Failghost Manor. And do you know what they say about that manor?

      - Yeah, that it's haunted or something... We'll talk about it again, I should let you go before your mom gives you a hard time for being late. It's already a miracle my mom wasn't there today and we got to see each other, might as well not ruin the end of the day!

      - You're right, I'm leaving. I forgot one thing! I think you're meeting Teano later on, right?

      - Yes, and he has to spend the night at Renyu's house right after.

      - You can tell him that I did some research the other day, and I found a luthier that might be of interest to him, since he wanted to try his hand at the electric guitar.

      With that, Malden and Sylvania parted ways. He walked through the spacious corridors of the building before finding himself outside, taken by the temperature which seemed to have dropped a few degrees compared to the early afternoon. Happy with this exciting afternoon, he then thought about what he would learn when he arrived at the hospital with his family. If Melva remembered him, at least for a few seconds during the visit, nothing could make him happier. But Malden refused to deny it. With his headphones in, he shuffled along, his imagination conjuring up the worst scenarios about his sister's shattered memory. His mood wavered again.

      When he arrived home, his parents were getting ready to leave. Sawako was already ready, a long dark blue leather coat on her back and her black hair done up in a neat bun. Aware of her brother's difficulty in dealing with this situation, she simply patted him on the shoulder and gave him a hug.

      - Don't worry Maldou, she'll remember us one day. The more we go to see her, the more it will help her.