#I had way to much fun on google scholar looking this up

[cressthebest]

nobody could decide which stories they wanted me to share. they want me to share all of them 😭😭

i’ll start with jesus and john and why i think they’re gay for each other, supported by biblical evidence provided by Seton Catholic Homeschooling of America.

• i took this course in my tenth grade year. i was only homeschooled for 9th and 10th grade. i was public schooled before then, and later went to boarding school for my last two years of hs. but that’s another post.

this is a long post. buckle in. i’ll have it all below the cut

• i no longer have the textbook title, and only have pictures from this text book that i took in a delusional haze when reading this in my catholic mother’s household, hoping that she wouldn’t look through my phones photos to find these images.

this is all from a catholic standpoint, other forms of christianity are not accounted for. if you do not want to see GAY CONTENT ABOUT JESUS, move along

this post is about to unlock so much of my old hyperfixation on the catholic church that i had before leaving.

first of all, as backstory for those who don’t know john:

• john is one of jesus’ twelve disciples and wrote the Gospel of John (I, II, and III) which is a hella important book in the new testament (the second half of the bible.)

• the books of john tell the story of jesus’ life from birth to death. now, that’s kinda gay to write about another man that much, hmm.

• john has also earned the affectionate title of: “The Beloved Disciple”

• he is also traditionally credited with writing Revelations (also known as Apocalypse, which tells how the world is gonna end. fun right!!), though scholars are unsure if he wrote it, or a different john wrote it.

okay, now onto the gay stuff:

• most people jokingly ship judas and jesus because of the angst of judas’ betrayal to jesus. however, i disagree.

• though, knowing their ages, shipping jesus and john would be quite problematic these days, it was quite an acceptable age gap back then. jesus was around the ages of 30-33 at the time of his death, and john was a young adult, about 18. (yikes)

• my evidence begins with the way john writes about himself and jesus in the Gospel of John. in his gospel, he never calls himself john. you guys know what he calls himself in his gospel?? “the discipline whom jesus loved”

😐

sir. could you be ANY more obvious??

so far, all of this info is directly from my catholic textbook.

WOW! that page unpacks a lot. let me elaborate on the way john leaned up on jesus’ chest. first of all, that’s a real bible quote. let’s go:

John 13:23-25

• “23 One of his disciples, the one Jesus loved, was at the table to the right of Jesus in a place of honor. 24 So Simon Peter gestured to this disciple to ask Jesus who it was he was referring to. 25 Then the disciple whom Jesus loved leaned back against Jesus’ chest”

the passage then goes on to john (the disciple whom jesus loved) asking jesus who’s gonna betray him.

• to FURTHER add to this gay af moment, there are PAINTINGS of it, completed by MULTIPLE artists. i’m going to provide the image in my textbook, and then images found online that i particularly enjoy.

above: lovely image! i cannot remember the artist for the life of me.

above: Jesus and John at the Last Supper by Valentin de Boulonge

above: Last Supper by Plautilla Nelli (portions of the image were cropped)

above: cannot find artist’s name.

• if you are interested in finding hundreds more of images like this, all you need to type into google is “john leaning on jesus”. you’ll get the images you need. trust me

• those were my largest pieces of evidence, but there are smaller ones i’d like to share. the textbook helped “gay it up”. i think the author of this textbook was a closeted homosexual. cause no way did a straight person write this thinking “hmmm that’s totally platonic and not at all queer, cause that’s how i feel about MY best friend.”

here’s direct textbook images:

• hmmm man who was closest to him you say???

• “intimate relationship with God”

• best friend? 🤔 are we sure about that?

• symbol of his greater love?

• AND he was the first to recognize jesus??

• y’all. they’ve got to be shitting me atp. no way were they not In Love

and finally, from my study questions:

y’all. special favors? exceptional love?

this textbook had me GOBSMACKED. jaw DROPPED. WDYM THAT JESUS AND JOHN WERE DEFINITELY IN LOVE???

conclusion:

• i HIGHLY recommend you looking up more pictures of john laying on jesus.

• i think of john/jesus as canon. there’s too much evidence to support my point. including The Bible. judas/jesus is like what fanfics are for. they’re the pair that everyone wishes happened in canon, but the authors sucked, so it didn’t.

• literally, drop any questions in the reblogs and comments. i’ll be HAPPY to answer.

(and jesus/judas shippers, i hope i changed your mind.)

#jesus x john #jesus x judas #anti catholic #anti christianity #(putting those in so catholics can filter this post out) #last supper #valentin de boulogne #ex christian #ex catholic #anti religion #ex religious #cress talks way too much

[communistkenobi]

Hypothetically if someone had to do a research paper for a stupid elective and ended up enjoying the process of reading academic articles and now wants to do it in their free time… how would they go about it, if they didn’t know how to start because there are simply SO MANY articles out there, and most of them are too advanced for their current level of understanding, and they want to do it in a way that will end up building their knowledge on a topic instead of reading a bunch of unrelated articles because they used the wrong key word or something. Asking for a friend (hypothetically) Thank you for your time mr kenobi!

General caveat that it depends on what the topic is, but what I would recommend is looking up literature reviews on a specific topic you want to learn about. I personally think they’re valuable because they tend to give a “state of the discourse” overview and identify gaps in research/knowledge, so you get to learn about the field as a whole while also learning about the topic itself. I think this helps ground the topic you want to learn about in a specific context. Lit reviews also tend to highlight key terms and concepts used in that field, so even if you don’t want to read the actual lit review, you can peruse the reference list, read the titles, and see if any of them catch your eye. That also helps you recognise common language used throughout research papers to better narrow your search terms.

You can also look for “introduction” + concepts/keywords you’re looking for. There are a lot of academic articles or book chapters that are meant to be introductory texts for students, and those use much less jargon. What I tend to do is search on google scholar, copy the title, and then either paste that into my university’s library search or sci hub/whatever the other open access sites are. Google scholar pulls from a lot of sources, so it’s also not unusual to find papers from non profits and governments popping up, and those tend to use much more plain language (again, this depends on the topic you want to learn about).

A fun one is also searching “critique” or “criticism” + topic if you want to read more dramatic shit. Sometimes a fun way to learn about a topic is seeing people rip it to shreds

Finally, looking for case studies might be another good place to start. So again, search “case study” + topic keywords. In my experience these tend to be less theoretic and word-y, so they might be better if you’re new to the topic. They also do a similar thing of placing the topic in a real world context, which is always very helpful.

You can also, if you feel comfortable, approach the professor or teaching assistants in the class you’re taking and ask them if they have recommendations for learning more on this topic. Profs and TAs fucking love being asked about that shit because it’s usually related to their research and they looooove talking about that to students. Like genuinely it’s one of their favourite questions to get, you are not bothering them by asking, especially if it’s a topic from an assigned reading.

Hope that helps!

#asks #book club

[annellspethraven]

5/13/2020 Ouroboros On the Shelf

essay reposted from DeviantArt - crossposting Over a year ago I set up a Tumblr account, a place to be the repository of essays I hoped to write since not all the kaleidoscopic tidbits one wishes to share concerning the creative process can be channeled into stories or visual art. Then Tumblr decided to reject adult content, and since much of my advocacy as a fanfic writer revolves around challenging the accepted practice of writing about the human race while glossing over the sexual impulses that lie at the tangled roots of so many behaviors and thought processes and – Houston, we had a problem. We had a problem, DeviantArt enables Journals, and here we are – though today’s essay has nothing to do with sexuality.

Those familiar with my writing know that I am among the Queens of Longfic; an earned title in that I co-author an immense fanfic of 4.8 million words and counting with my partner in verbosity SonaBeanSidhe. Amidst this experience, she and I have become rapt observers of Cycles. In this context I define cycles as the spontaneous phenomenon by which complex subplots reconnect to themselves across intervals of 20-25 chapters, and in which cryptic statements made by characters in hindsight (that we ourselves cannot explain and did not intend) suddenly come into sharp focus, pointing the way forward for narrative development within a given storyline. We have loose ideas for what we mean to happen in the story, but the characters themselves write the tale just as much as we do as their dialogue and our discussions organically... happen. It is a nearly mystical process we don’t try to understand; we just keep typing.

Cycles do not limit themselves to writing, as a strange experience yester-eve taught me. While the hour was not that late, I felt more tired than usual. Our two female dogs have been experiencing a wave of aggression toward each other; we have had four dogfights in three days. Flying out my office door to see my husband holding our forty pound terrier, whose head was in the jaws of our female Plott hound, and me picking up that sixty pound girl in a fit of adrenaline to try to pull these two apart like a bad version of dog taffy is...not an image I really need and there has been that and worse craziness lately. I blame COVID Cabin Fever, but either way this is the kind of thing that is making life a literal headache of late. I know I am not alone, it is only that my headaches trend a little weirder than everyone else’s; such is farm life.

So finally in bed, laptop open and my elbow propped up on a nice warm dog head, I could give some thought to a scene I wanted to write – a young student and her Elven loremasters, living in one of the communities of roughly six thousand persons in 2042, the Old World is gone, destroyed in 2037 by an engineered global pandemic (ouch, but we wrote it in 2018). Our young lady feels called to preserve the scholarship of humanity – Western civilization, especially its literature. She does not want mankind’s intellectual achievements to be lost, which it assuredly will be if no one steps up to ensure otherwise and to pass on those traditions via teaching. So one scholar will teach her the corpus of literature while the other will instruct her in complementary subject matter. My self-appointed task was to envision what a lesson from that latter scholar might look like. A history lesson seemed a little dry to me; while droning on in a fanfic about the Houses of Lancaster and York is not beyond me I felt I could do better, so...to the Google.

One of the first hits that came back was a title, “Mimesis: The Representation of Reality in Western Literature,” and I stared at that for a moment because mimesis is such a specific word and yet known to me. But why? My first thought was Professor Grimm and my wtf was I thinking decision to enroll in two quarters of Ancient Greek as my ‘fun elective’ in college. (For the record, it was a great decision, but I was struggling with serious depression at a time when the resources to effectively help people were a fraction of what they are right now. When you can only bring about 20% of your acuity to the party, Ancient Greek is going to be a sh*tshow – but I digress) No, it was not Prof. Grimm, bless his stodgy Classical heart. I frowned, because wait a minute that sounds really familiar…tossed back the blanket, annoyed the dog, and went to the bookshelf. Yep. There it was. Right on the shelf, because this book had been assigned for an upper division Comparative Literature course...how many times had I packed and unpacked this book in and out of boxes, moving it and all its friends in my bloated personal library all over the place? Now here I was holding it in my hand, reading a Wikipedia entry in order to learn something – that’s my idea of irony! Because, you know, even though I could see my margin notes and underlinings from college I still had no idea or real memory what this thing was about. Fabulous.

Well, the link is above if you want more information, but the salient points are that Dr. Auerbach fled the Nazis and went to Istanbul. While there he wrote this tour de force, because wow he was intelligent and well-read. The chapters, twenty of them, examine/cite many different works of Western literature most would deem ‘important’ and in the book he explains how the authors used their words, their descriptions to frame the reality, the impressions, their readers would take away having focused on the elements of everyday life – if I am going to oversimplify it all in one sentence. So Auerbach wrote a massive work on this subject, apparently apologizing that he did not feel it was ‘comprehensive enough’...SMH.

Sometimes I refer to part of the process Dr. Auerbach uses as ‘deconstruction’ – when I want to understand how another author is using their words to create their style or impact the reader. I differentiate this from ‘literary criticism’ because it is not meant to comment on themes, imagery, etc...just syntax alone as a writer’s tool of emotional engineering.

What felt personally painful for me were my really vivid memories of being in that class with this and other books, and listening to brilliant Professor Torrance expound on this work. I can still see the conference table, the tiny, cramped space, the hideous UC Davis fluorescent lighting. The class was required; it was (understandably!) one of the courses that was considered to be the steak and potatoes of the degree coursework. It was also a really difficult blow to my self-esteem, because I was struggling to tread water in there and doing my damnedest to hide it.

I vividly remember Dr. Torrance mentioning that we should be reading each of the assigned books for this course THREE TIMES during the ten week quarter. One of the titles was Joyce’s Ulysses. I wanted to ask if this was some kind of joke but all the other students sagely nodded their heads. (If you’re wondering, I barely made it past the steak and kidney pie scene.) Incredibly depressed, tired, not a speed-reader, and in a tiny discussion-style class with only about 8 other students with nowhere to hide, it rapidly became obvious to me that I was the least prepared and least able person in there.

In 1989 ‘social anxiety’ was not a phrase. I was unaware until that course how below-par my awareness was compared to my fellow students in that course of study. Hell, I only knew one other person on the entire campus that also shared this degree major.

“What’s your major?”

“Comparative Literature.”

“What’s that?”

“Uh, like English but you have to know a foreign language and read books in the other language too. Compare? The literature?”

“Ohhhhh. What good is it?”

(Has no answer)

Bleh. I lacked life experience, I was not well-read enough, and definitely my brain was not in a place to allow me to address any of the aforementioned deficits. There was nothing to be done.

I skated by, and this book sat on my shelf for the next 30 years. Maybe someday there would be the incentive, time or ability to take another look. So here it is in front of me, because of a wish to write about an Elven loremaster teaching this same material to a student and because Google said it was well-suited (Google is right, dammit).

(Side note to those who feel that fanfiction is a waste of time, because the detractors are many...are you reading this essay? Mimesis is open on my desk because of fanfic and no other reason. Several of the titles discussed by Auerbach will be open and partially read because of fanfic. So when Tolkien’s Lambengolmo lectures on Boccaccio, is my effort still deemed better used writing ‘something original’? Personally, I’d probably rather read The Decameron, I’m overdue anyway.)

In all of this I see a Cycle of my own, and that brings some further personal reflections. Now I am thirty years older than the overtoasted Uni graduate who could not even open a book for three years after getting her degree. I still am learning to write and if looking at Mimesis has pointed out nothing else it is the shift in education; how our world defines an educated person. I own 12 of the titles mentioned in the chapters, maybe I have read 5-6. One hundred fifty years ago I would guess that any academic would have read all of these; one hundred fifty years ago the tsunami of scientific discoveries, international culture/politics, entertainment, youth sports, hobbies, available careers that did not yet exist meant that the world was a very different place.

Open any nineteenth-century novel and the first and most striking thing one notices as a modern reader is the prose. Case in point? Random excerpt, Eliot, The Mill on the Floss: “Tom took no notice of her, but took, instead, two or three hard peas out of his pocket and shot them with this thumb-nail against the window – vaguely at first, but presently with the distinct aim of hitting a superannuated blue-bottle which was exposing its imbecility in the spring sunshine, clearly against the views of nature, who had provided Tom and the peas for the speedy destruction of this weak individual.” Random excerpt, Mayes, Under the Tuscan Sun: “I’m sure she gathered wild fennel, dried the yellow flowers, and tossed the still-green brunches onto the fire when she grilled meat. We uncover grapes buried in the brush along the edges of the terraces. Some aggressive ones still send out long tangles of stems. Tiny bunches are forming.”

I mean no disrespect to the latter author, nothing is amiss. Neither do I expect to find the word ‘superannuated’ anywhere in her book, nor a sentence as long as a paragraph, because modern readers do not come armed (on the whole) with an advanced vocabulary nor a tolerance for such complex constructions as Eliot’s sentence. Yet at one time such were commonplace. The contrast in complexity between the two writers, even with a random stab at a sentence is IMO quite noticeable. Our habits of expression have simplified, drastically; I would opine our appetite for Greek and Roman poetry has gone out the window along with it. What have we lost on account of that? What have I lost on account of that? I already know the answer, or at least part of it – the connection to humanity that was. The affinity to the minds that came before, minds no different than mine save for the time and trappings in which they lived. The paper dolls do not change; only the outfits and the scenery.

Chapter thirteen of Mimesis just happens to deal with Shakespeare’s Henry IV parts one and two – how convenient, as it was determined several chapters ago that my enterprising young scholar would study the entirety of Shakespeare’s Wars of the Roses plays – there are times the Cycle seems determined to spoon glitter on my head. I’ll take it. So Master Daeron shall wax poetic concerning ‘The Weary Prince’ courtesy of Dr. Auerbach, right after I digest and imagine a way to distill this into character dialogue.

I have some takeaways from my little discovery. Rediscovery? There is learning that might not work out fully at the time, but there is never wasted learning. Mimesis came off the shelf after thirty effing years and being boxed and unboxed to at least six different homes. Even if it took the Internet and fictional Elves to let me realize what I had in front of me all this time, does it matter? I arrived there in the end and learned and am still learning. It took awhile to remember the name of the terrifyingly intelligent professor who taught that class and it turns out that very unfairly, he has been lost. https://www.davisenterprise.com/obits/robert-m-torrance/

There were a handful of lecturers I encountered whose intellect was off the scale; his was one. The man was translating Greek as a Harvard undergrad? Just, whut? And yet...to sit and listen to erudition so comprehensive that an ‘uhm’ is incapable of entering a sentence, to thoughts so clear that they flow out in paragraphs rife with just the right adjectives and adverbs (effortlessly chosen, of course)...to have never heard someone like that is to be poorer for it...give or take the inevitable envy. Le sigh.

Other takeaway – We all have something to contribute. Some of us are sparks, some candles, some beacons and some are suns. All those lights have value, and comparisons are a waste of emotional effort though an easy trap into which one can fall. I know who I’ll dedicate the chapter to, because without Dr. Torrance, there would have been no ouroboros on the bookshelf. Now if everyone will excuse me, Daeron is staring impatiently, tapping his booted foot. Fussy Elf. ******* Comment #1:

spicedwinefanfic

May 14, 2020

in which cryptic statements made by characters in hindsight (that we ourselves cannot explain and did not intend) suddenly come into sharp focus, pointing the way forward for narrative development within a given storyline. We have loose ideas for what we mean to happen in the story, but the characters themselves write the tale just as much as we do as their dialogue and our discussions organically... happen. It is a nearly mystical process we don’t try to understand; we just keep typing.

This definitely happens lol. 

The contrast in complexity between the two writers, even with a random stab at a sentence is IMO quite noticeable. Our habits of expression have simplified, drastically; I would opine our appetite for Greek and Roman poetry has gone out the window along with it. What have we lost on account of that? What have I lost on account of that? I already know the answer, or at least part of it – the connection to humanity that was. The affinity to the minds that came before, minds no different than mine save for the time and trappings in which they lived. The paper dolls do not change; only the outfits and the scenery.

I feel this and it saddens me. I have been reading a lot during lockdown, I always read voraciously but more so at this time, and I have about 6 fairly new novels which I put aside in disgust because of the paucity of the language; no richness, no feeling in it. 

I remember my uncle giving me Arnold Toybee’s A Study of History when I was about 15. My god, it is dense, but so magnificently written. 

Do you have a Dreanwidth Account? You can also post on there. 

Reply:

AnnEllspethRaven

May 18, 2020

Thank you for the kind comments and for reading. I do have a Dreamwidth...not set up at all really. Maybe I should get it in shape...then again it took me how long to even get going over here? *sighs* baby steps! <3

#mimesis #daeron #tolkien fanfiction #writing #literature

[epic-summaries]

Women in Mythology - Hausos the Dawn Goddess

Has anyone thought about how weird it is to have a deity for the dawn. The dawn isn’t like the sun or the moon, you can’t really see it. It’s not an important everyday function like caring for the hearth. It’s not a job like blacksmiths. It happens and it’s beautiful but it’s not physical. I googled “dawn definition” and the first thing that comes up is “the first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise.” (The Google Dictionary). It’s weird to deify a small period of time. It’s probably why there are so little dawn deities. There are only two mythologies with dawn deity/spirits (maybe three but Tefnut is the goddess of the morning dew and moisture, that’s not really the dawn) which are not from Indo-European cultures. These deities are the Shinto’s Ame-no-Uzume-no-mikoto and the Sioux’s Anpao (which btw has two faces and I love that fact, it makes a lot of sense to me). All other deities are from Indo-European countries. Which is why “Dawn goddesses are crucial in Indo-European comparative mythology…” (Source 1 to an article about Eostre and Bede.) Dawn goddesses, lunar and solar chariots and Sky Fathers are the backbone of comparative Indo-European mythology studies. (I seriously considered doing something comparing Indra and Zeus but I was already looking up dawn goddesses for funsies. This whole thing was written for funsies tbh).  

What is Indo-European Mythology? Short of it, so I can get to the comparing of deities, is that Indo-Europeans are a theorized people that that originated the Indo-European languages (English, French, Spanish, Sanskrit, Hindi, Hittite, Persian, Greek, etc.). There are also a few similarities between the mythologies. Which, you can explain as surrounding cultures influencing each other or if you a psychoanalyst you believe that the similarities between all of them is because of a deep shared self conscious or that they all originated from one original deity. Indo-European mythology exist because of the last mindset.        

Using comparative mythology, we can assume some of the Indo-European Pantheon. It’s a bottom down perspective. And I want to do this exercise, so let’s compare some Dawn Deities. 

Was the original Indo-European Dawn Goddess really named Hausos? I can say with 99.9% certainty no. Hausos is scholar’s best educated guess

1. Auseklis - Latvian Mythology

Sadly, I can’t find to much about him (or her, Auseklis is either one). Yeah, this is the god of the dawn and morning star (aka Venus). He is subordinate to the moon but also serves the sun. He is associated with marriages, bath-houses and birth.

2. Aušrinė - Lithuanian Mythology

I can find more about her then I can about her Latvian counterpart. She had an affair with the Moon God, which caused Sun Goddess and the Moon God to basically divorce. Aušrinė lived on sea-girt island where she takes cares of magical apples that will bring love to people who eats them. Also she had cows that made boiling milk (ummm) that will make you beautiful (sure). Also, she’s connected to maidens, weaving, love, weddings and baptism (she’s later connected with the Virgin Mary when Lithuania was Christinized). And there is a myth of a man falling in love with her after finding her golden hair in the water of a lagoon. She also makes the sun’s fire every morning (that makes a lot of sense). 

3. Aurora - Roman Mythology

Sadly we don’t have much from just Aurora and most stories with Aurora are actually stories about Eos. She gave sight to Orion.

She is the mother of the morning star, Lucifer. It’s cool that the dawn and the morning star are separated. 

4. Brigid - Irish Mythology

Every list of dawn goddesses has her or some articles will say that she comes from the original Indo-European dawn goddess. But they never explain why. In her list of what she is the goddess of, they never mention the dawn. She’s the blacksmith goddess, the goddess of the spring, the fertility goddess, the healing goddess, the poetry goddess.

My favourite quote from my research is “About Brigid there has been scant evident. (...) questions need to be asked about her origins, her functions, in early Irish society, and existing tradition (...)” (Mother Worship:There and Variations, source below)

Sure, spring and beautiful things are often associated with the dawn but that is not enough to convince me that she is a dawn goddess. Also, her name doesn’t fit well, unlike Ēostre.

5. Eos - Greek Mythology

She’s properly the goddess who’ve heard the most about, she’s Greek. She’s the daughter of Hyperion (titan of light) and Theia (she was a titaness and probably had something to do with light, being also called wide-shining). Eos is the sister of Helios (the sun) and Selene (the moon). She is also married to Astraeus (dusk), but if you didn’t know that, I don’t blame you. Eos was well known for getting around a lot. She loved Orion, Tithonus, Cephalus, Cleitus and Ares. Tithonus is a pretty famous story, Eos asks Zeus for Tithonus to become immortal which Zeus does, but as the asshole he is, he didn’t make Tithonus eternally youthful and Tithonus becomes dust. (Zeus it was in the subtext to make him eternally youthful.) When she has an affair with Ares, Aphrodite curses Eos to be constantly falling in love or just to have an unsatisfied sexual desire. Eos also had some children in the Trojan war, when he died, she cried which created the morning dew. And she was the mother of the anemoi (aka the winds).

She had the classic job of announcing the coming of her brother Helios. She seems like his assistant. She also rides her own chariot of Pegasi.

I love how she is constantly being called the rose finger goddess. I find that pretty.  

6. Ēostre/Ostara - Germanic Mythology

She’s more of a spring goddess then anything. But I keep seeing her on list (not just Wikipedia), so I have to add her. Though, I’m more confident in adding her because she linguistically looks like she belongs. And I can see how the dawn goddess becomes a spring goddess (still very iffy on Brigid mainly due to linguistics). Spring announces summer, like dawn announces day (I have no proof of this, it’s just logically I can see how this can happen). Though, there are some scholars who believes that Ēostre might have been an invention from Bede, because that’s the first time they hear about her.

So, Ēostre is associated with spring and fertility. Then there are tons of theories of how she very probably connected with Easter celebration, rabbits how she might just be a spring goddess and not a dawn goddess. She can’t be both? She couldn’t have started out as dawn goddess then became a spring goddess? Bede is writing in the 8th century, at the very least over a thousand of years after the Indo-Europeans migrated. Things change in a thousand years, especially without writing. Hell, Eos and Ushas changed even with writing.

7. Thesan - Etruscan Mythology

She was the dawn goddess and evoked in childbirth. All I could find about her.

8. Ushas - Vedic Hindu Mythology

For brevity sake, there are many different sects of Hinduism. Anyway, Ushas is found in the Rigveda which is one of the oldest texts written in an Indo-European language. In this text the three most important gods are Agni (fire), Soma (moon and plants) and Indra (the king of gods and the weather god). The most important goddess is Ushas, she’s found in many hymns. Her sister is Ratri (night) and her brother is Chandra/Soma (moon) and sometimes she is married to Surya (sun). In her Vedic hymns she is considered the most beautiful of the goddess. She rides a chariot of either horses or cows so she could make way for Surya. She chases away demons and the dark. Interestingly, she is renewed or made young again everyday (reminding me of Ra’s journey). She also breaths all life. I’m very interested in the fact that in that she’s all seeing much like Helios is in Greek Mythology. And, she is sometimes the sister of the twin horse gods Ashvins (and health and medicine gods too), which also are theorized to be originally Indo-European.

9. Zorya - Slavic Mythology

Hahahaha, who decided they would also be known as the Auroras. I have a feeling it was some Western European with classical knowledge decided that. Anyway, one is the dawn and the other is the dusk and one is midnight. The dawn Zorya, named Utrennyaya, has been described as Perun’s wife (Perun is the law and weather god) or both her sister and her were the wives of Jarylo, the god of springtime (interesting). Utrennyaya’s job is to open the gates for the sun every morning. She was the goddess of horses, protection, exorcism, and the planet Venus. I like how there job was guard a chained dog who wants to eat Ursa Minor, because if that happens the end of the world would start. Zoryas are also protectors of warriors where they would show up like maidens with veils and shields of their favourite battles.  They also lived on a paradise island, much like Aušrinė (though the two cultures are neighbours).

So, what educated guesses can we make about the Hausos? The dawn goddesses is beautiful (who would have guessed? It’s not like sunrise is stereotypically the most beautiful time of the day? Sarcasm btw). Dawn goddesses usually have a story involving immortally and aging (see I didn’t just mention Tithonus because it was famous). Many are either springtime goddesses or somehow connected to the deity of the spring. Hausos might have also been a love goddess, since the other dawn goddesses will either be love goddesses or have many lovers (of course there were the apples that made you fall in love too). I don’t know where Wikipedia gets that she might be a weaving goddess. I get it. She weaves the the cloth like she weaves the day but I didn’t see weaving as a theme in enough goddesses (only one) to be confident in making an educated guess that the Indo-European dawn goddess would have anything to do with weaving.

Women in Mythology Series: Previous Morgiana  

Links to sources because I got lost in research a lot: 

1.  The Goddess Eostre: Bede’s Text and Contemporary Pagan Tradition(s)

2.  Indo-European Deities and the Rgveda

3. Wikipedia 

4.  The Routledge Dictionary of Gods and Goddesses, Devils and Demons

5.  SIGNS OF MORNING STAR AUŠRINĖ IN THE BALTIC TRADITION: REGIONAL AND INTERCULTURAL FEATURES 

6.  Encyclopedia of Goddesses and Heroines 

7.  Sun Myths in Lithuanian Folksongs

8.  Mother Worship: Theme and Variations 

9. Theoi 

10.  Greek and Roman Mythology, A to Z 

#I had way to much fun on google scholar looking this up #of course in this I'm assuming the indo-european theory is correct #Indo-European Mythology #baltic mythology #Auseklis #latvian mythology #Aušrinė #lithuanian mythology #aurora #roman mythology #brigid #irish mythology #eos #greek mythology #Ēostre/Ostara #germanic mythology #Thesan #etruscan mythology #Ushas #hundu mythology #zorya #slavic mythology #women of mythology

[nevermindirah]

Yitzhak!

is a character! who Gregadiah What-Is-Math Rucka gave us almost no information about!

I've gone through Tales Through Time #6: The Bear and #1: My Mother's Axe with several magnifying glasses and done a lot of googling and taken my copy of the Tanakh off my shelf for the first time since (well, since the last time I needed to read Torah for TOG reasons, which I think was Booker Passover headcanons) and here's the best I can come up with.

In The Bear we meet someone who goes by the name Isaac Blue:

Read on for a lot of comic panel analysis and historical research and Jewish flailing!

So what do we know about this Isaac Blue person?

He's Lorge, he's got curly hair, he's basically a taller version of Joe as drawn by Leandro Fernández (ie an antisemitic stereotype why the fuck did they approve this character design?? and then why did they double down and copy-paste it to Yitzhak??):

He's got a mezuzah on the doorpost of his house in Alaska!

I screamed about the mezuzah way back in January in this post where I (very reasonably) assumed this character was Joe and spun myself a tale about how Booker is still Joe's brother so the mezuzah stays up even though Booker isn't welcome in that house for a century. Bottom line: the mezuzah is a tradition with origins in the commandment from Deuteronomy 6:9 to "write the words of G-d on the gates and doorposts of your house" and evolved over the course of the Rabbinic period into the modern mezuzah we see here.

I did unnecessary levels of google image search to glean absolutely no useful information about Yitzhak’s origins from this panel:

I've decided the variant cover of TTT 6 is Yitzhak because of a panel in My Mother’s Axe, shown here, and what's likely an unnecessarily deep reading of Exodus, discussed further down:

The person at the right of the bottom panel is wearing the same clothes as in the TTT 6 variant cover and has the same shoulder-length curly hair and hairy forearms.

Left to right, the people in this panel are Lykon (I'll never get used to him being white in the comics), Andy, Noriko (I think? why doesn't Andy mention her by name here?), and Yitzhak. Andy's robe has a stereotypically Greek design on the sleeve cuff, and I had to stop myself 10 minutes into a Wikipedia rabbit hole because Gregorforth doesn't think that deep about this shit. The solid clues as to timeline that we get in this panel are:

Andy's iron axe

the presence of Lykon, who Andy first met in 331 BCE

So all we know is that Yitzhak is an immortal, he was a contemporary of Lykon, and he's Jewish.

Isaac is the most common Anglicization of Yitzhak (which in turn is the most common Anglophone transliteration of יִצְחָק‎), and Greg always uses the (transliterated) Hebrew when he refers to this character. Yitzhak is the long-awaited child of Abraham and Sarah in Genesis, the child who G-d commanded Abraham to sacrifice but spared at the last minute. I see what you did there, Gregory.

Why Isaac Blue? This is where I pulled out my Tanakh. According to the New JPS translation, blue is the first of three colors of yarn listed in Exodus 35:6 among the gifts requested of the Israelites to construct the priestly garments for the Tabernacle and later the Temple. Then in Numbers 15:38 the Israelites are commanded to "make themselves fringes on the corners of their garments throughout the ages; let them attach a cord of blue to the fringe at each corner."

And now for sandbox timelines party! Gregadiah gave us ALMOST NOTHING to go on, so I'm gonna make my own fun.

I, like many modern Jews, think the stories in the Tanakh are foundational mythology that are valuable because of how they've shaped our people but that contain some fucked-up shit and either way aren't meant to be a record of historical facts. Modern scholarship generally agrees that the community we now call Jews emerged as a distinct group of Canaanites sometime in the late Bronze Age (cw this video's host says the Name of G-d aloud despite being a religious studies scholar who knows that is not a name anyone but the Temple priests are allowed to say). The first non-Biblical written record of the people Israel is from an Egyptian source c. 1200 BCE, and the Biblical kingdom of David and Solomon was probably an exaggeration of whatever really happened during the Bronze Age Collapse. We start getting into historical-fact territory a few centuries into the Iron Age:

588 BCE Solomon's Temple destroyed, Babylonian exile begins

538 BCE Cyrus of Persia allows Jews to return to Jerusalem

515 BCE Second Temple construction complete

332 BCE Alexander the Great At Something I Guess conquered Judea, beginning the Hellenistic period of Jewish history — 331 BCE Andy & Lykon find each other

167 BCE another jerkface Greek king desecrated the Temple and basically outlawed Judaism

164 BCE recapture of Jerusalem and Temple rededication during the Maccabean Revolt

70 CE destruction of the Second Temple by the Romans, beginning of the Rabbinic period of Jewish history that we're still in now

What if... and hear me out... what if immortals come in pairs, and the pairs are:

Andy & Quynh

Joe & Nicky

Booker & Nile

LYKON & YITZHAK

What if Yitzhak was a priest of the Second Temple? What if he and Lykon killed each other just like Joe and Nicky would in the same city around 1300 years later, but instead of enemies-to-lovers speedrun with an absurdly long happily-ever-after, when Lykon died permanently Yitzhak decided to separate from Andy and Noriko and become the hermit we later see in Alaska?

We don't know how old Yitzhak is compared to the others, only that he was a contemporary of Lykon at a time when Andy was using an Iron Age version of her mother's axe. Other plausible origins for him:

a Jew of the early Rabbinic period, maybe a child or grandchild of people who were still alive before the Second Temple was destroyed

a Judean of the Second Temple era under the Romans or Greeks or Persians, maybe a priest, maybe not

an exilee in Babylon, maybe of the generation who got to return, maybe of the generation who was exiled (he doesn't look like he was 50 at his first death but who knows, he could've been mortal for both)

an Israelite of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, maybe a priest of Solomon's Temple or again maybe not

an Israelite wandering in the desert with Moses

THEE Yitzhak, ben Avraham v'Sarah, our patriarch who was brought up for sacrifice and then spared, and then spared again, and then spared again, and again, and again...

or! he could also be a Canaanite or other Levantine who predates the people Israel, who at some point in his very long life chose to join our mixed multitude, who like Andromache before him (and like Avram and Sarai would in this case do after him) took a new name to reflect the magnitude of influence this people has had on him

Why do I keep saying Yitzhak might have been a priest? It's thanks to the one detail in the artwork I could plausibly connect to solid research without getting a PhD real quick. Take a look at the gorgeous detail on the opening of his robe in the TTT 6 cover. He's dressed in rags, holes and dirt everywhere, rough stitches probably from hasty repair work — except for the neck opening. Compare that to this description from Exodus 39:23 of the construction of the priestly garments for the Tabernacle: "The opening of the robe, in the middle of it, was like the opening of a coat of mail, with a binding around the opening, so that it would not tear."

The next verses describe the intricate designs for the hem of the priestly garment. Yitzhak's ragged garment looks like the hem was torn off entirely.

Am I overthinking this? Yes I am! You're welcome!

My friend and historical research hero @lady-writes​ is in a Discord server with Gregadiah and asked the man himself some questions about all this. He clearly thinks he's being sneaky?? No shit Yitzhak is Jewish, dude, I want DETAILS!

I will not be giving up my Jewish Booker headcanon, I've put too much thought into it by now, the internalized shame of antisemitism explains Booker's depression too well for me, and it just adds so much richness to Booker/Nile both being children of forced diasporas. Fortunately (for him, not me, bc I'd do it anyway!) Gregothy supports fan headcanons even when they're not in line with his own:

One last thing before I close like 100 research tabs and go back to writing historical fantasy and/or porn! I love that, despite that atrocious caricature of a face design, our canon Jew and our fanon Jew are both Lorge and Soft and Kind, flying the face of the antisemitic stereotype of Ashkenazi Jewish men as small and weak, but also not falling into the New Jew / Muscle Jew stereotype that Zionism created. (I am trying SO HARD not to talk about Israel/Palestine for once ughhhhhhhhhh) Anyway here's a (US-centric but very good) primer on both these stereotypes of Jewish masculinity. Is this why I'm forever projecting my transmasc diasporist feels onto Jewish Booker the service sub? 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’ll reblog a second version of this with full image descriptions so that there’s a version accessible for folks who need IDs as well as a version accessible for folks who get overwhelmed by walls of text.

#TOG POC Love Fest #yitzhak #jewish booker #tales through time spoilers #tales through time #tog meta #tog #jewish things #mine #antisemitism #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

[thewhizzyhead]

a non-filipino's guide to trese: ep 1

So some of my mutuals decided to check out Trese aka the Netflix adaptation of the Filipino horror comic book series that I keep rambling about here and then since well um most of my mutuals aren’t from the Philippines fshfs I decided to make a long-ass post that basically consists of me rambling about the cultural context present in Trese with fun little tidbits about Filipino folklore. I’m not an expert on Filipino mythology so um I just typed out the stuff that I know and the stuff that I looked up on Wikipedia so um take this with a grain of salt aaaaa I’ll save the extensive google scholar research ramble on folklore present in Trese for another day.

I’ll try to find the sites where I got some of the information from cause um yea I kinda had a bit of a hard time finding the other shit so um once again, take the stuff here with a grain of salt. Also, feel free to add more info if you guys got any!

SO ANYWAYS ENJOY ME RAMBLING ABOUT EPISODE 1 OF TRESE WOO

+ MRT and LRT (Manila Metro Rail Transit and Light Rail Transit) are train systems in NCR (the capital region) and yea them suddenly stopping and malfunctioning in the middle of the goddamn rail is a daily occurrence and we have been trying to deal with this bullshit for years but alas, corruption and negligence are sweet sweet drugs.

+ When the MRT broke down, you'd see a red bee in the flashing billboard right? Well that's Jollibee and that's probably the most well-known fast food restaurant chain here heck there are even branches of it abroad!

+ According to many youtube comments along with other social media posts that I am way too tired to link here, the opening theme is an Ifugao ethnic song called Balluha'd Bayyauhen but with modern accompaniments and I think the song is about a fruit called a balluha that the character in the song tries to it but cannot swallow. (someone please correct me if I’m wrong here fjkfs)

+ The first um monster that we see Alexandra interact with is the White Lady of Balete Drive. White Ladies or “Kaperosa” are a type of female ghosts typically dressed in ghostly white dresses or similar garments. According to legend, she died in a car accident while driving along Balete Drive (a two lane street formerly lined with Balete Trees which are said to be a home for spirits and mysterious creatures) in Quezon City while other accounts say she died waiting for the arrival of her lover; others also say that she was a teenage girl who was run over and killed by a taxi driver at night and then buried around a Balete tree while another variation of the tale claims that a student from the University of the Philippines was sexually assaulted and killed by a taxi driver nearby and so said ghost haunts the street in search of her murderer. There are many other variations but according to local rumor, the legend was fabricated by a reporter in 1953 in order to make an interesting story. What remains consistent in many variations is that apparently taxi drivers would be stopped by a beautiful lady asking for a ride and if one would look at the rear window, they would see that the white lady in question is bruised and drenched in blood.

+ There are a lot of mentions about "lakans" and stuff in reference to Alex and her father right? In precolonial times, the term is used to refer to the paramount ruler or the highest-ranking political authorities in Tagalog communities (so um NCR and some parts of Region 4). In Muslim communities, they are called sultans while communities with strong trade connecitons with Indonesia or Malaysia called them Rajah. Datu is umm the more generalized term though when it comes to discussing the leaders of the precolonial Filipinos.

+ So, Alex’s mom is a babaylan and back in the pre-colonial period, each barangay (which a native filipino term for a village or a district; said term is still used today to describe um divisions in municipalities like) had them and these are basically Philippine shamans and they specialized in communicating with the spirits of the dead. To my knowledge, the role of babaylan went to women and yea people assigned male at birth but then identified as female were also allowed to become babaylans and they would be treated with the same respect given to any woman back then (honestly I dunno much about lgbtq+ stuff back in the precolonial times but all I know is that precolonial Filipinos were much a lot more welcoming towards trans identities bUT THEN THE SPANIARDS CAME AND UM ERR RUINED THAT); also the writing Alexandra's mom did in that one scene with the dagger is in Baybayin - preHispanic Filipino script. I dunno what she wrote down though. .

+ Also I kinda find it funny that the people here esp those who were at the White Lady scene are um,,, not at all surprised? Like yea quite a number of filipinos have their own superstitions and beliefs and all that but um yea the people in Trese seem very used to the bullshit,,,which in retrospect, isn't at all inaccurate fsdfd I MEAN WE DEAL WITH UNSURMOUNTABLE AMOUNTS OF BS ON A DAILY BASIS SO I DON’T THINK DEAD GHOSTS WOULD EVEN FAZE MANY FSKJDS

+ The one that appears right before Alexandra talks with the duwende (the one in the manhole) is called Laman Lupa (which i guess translates to um "What is in the earth"? just um YEA THEY ARE DIRT CREATURES). normally this is an umbrella term for duwendes and nunos but in Trese they are servants of these aforementioned creatures.

+ Duwende (which came from the Spanish phrase "dueno de case" which means "owner of the house") or dwarves in Filipino folklore are known to be mischievous and magical environmental guardians. They are believed to reside in trees or under earth mounds (those that live in the latter are called nuno sa pundo or old man of the mount) which is why quite a lot of Filipinos say "tabi tabi po" or “excuse me” when wandering around a forest or earth mounds as a sign of respect and in the hopes the duwende won't torment them. If the person is friendly, the duwende can also be friendly in return and will bring that person good lucl; otherwise, those who destroy their homes by stepping on them will face their wrath in form of heartless curse and predictions of ominous and disastrous fates. A duwende's color also depends on their budhi or conscience: to my knowledge, white duwendes are kind, red ones give protection amulets, green ones are firnedly with children and the black ones give nothing but trouble.

+ Chocnut aka the snack Alex bribes the nuno with is a very yummy chocolate snack made of coconut milk, crushed peanuts and cocoa powder. They are umm about an inch in length and maybe half an inch in width so it's fairly small; that being said I WANT THE CHOCNUT THAT ALEXANDRA HAS CAUSE HOT DAMN THAT'S A BIG CHOCNUT

+ In Trese, the creatures in the MRT scene and in the warehouse Alexandra visits after she talks with the duwende are called "aswang". In Philippine folklore, it is an umbrella term for any kind of monster so um an aswang in Luzon would be very different from the aswang in Mindanao. According to what I saw on wikipedia, they can be classified in 5 categories: the vampire (self-explanatory um they drink blood), the viscera sucker (the manananggal, i'll get to that next time), the weredog (cats and pigs are also possible but um yea they target pregnant women), the witch (self-explanatory boom curses and stuff) and the ghoul (they gather near trees in cemeteries to feast on human corpses). Aswangs are often described to have a long, hollow tongue, sharp claws and sharp teeth, although they do also have human forms.

+ To my knowledge, Ibwa, the leader of the aswangs in the warehouse, is a creature from Tinguian or Itneg mythology (they, like the Ifugao, are an indigenous ethnic group in northwestern Luzon) though I could be wrong about this dksfsf Ibwa seems like an ethnic filipino term tho wah I can't remember where I once read that. But anyways, Ibwa often stalk sthe house of a dying person to steal its body. In order for the ibwa to NOT succeed in that, some people burn holes in the garments of the dead and put a sharp iron object on top of the grave since those are most powerful weapons against aswangs which is what Alexandra uses to subdue the Ibwa and kill all the other aswangs (the knife alex uses is named Sinag which means "ray of light".)

+ ALSO I AM SO SO GLAD THEY KEPT THE FILIPINO SWEARS IN THE ENGLISH DUB YES YES THIS IS A VERY GOOD JOB so lemme discuss the versatility of tangina-

+ Also umm Bossing is a nickname of Vic Sotto - one of the three pioneer hosts of Eat Bulaga! which is the longest running Philippine noontime variety show. Over time, most probably due to the show's popularity, the term "bossing" then became um slang for "boss" or "chief"

+ Translation of what Alex says when she's stirring the eye inside the cup: “In the eyes of others, secrets will reveal themselves.”

+ Sidenote: The English dub's pronunciation of many of the tagalog lines are um yea they r pretty good but they could use a bit of work but then again I'm really not that good in speaking in Tagalog so who am I to judge gkdkf sorry po guys conyo po ako-

+ Maria Makiling is arguably the most famous of all the diwatas (ancestral spirits, nature spirits, or deities) in Philippine Mythology; she is associated with Mount Makiling in Laguna as the guardian spirit of the mountain. Mount Makiling is said to resemble a profile of a woman and people associate the profile with Maria herself. She is also known as a goddess by the name of Dayang Masalanta and people would pray to her for safety and to stop storms and earthquakes. That's the goddess Alexandra's mother mentions right when she tells Alex to hide. (Translation to what she said there: Maria Makiling, goddess of the mountain, bless us.)

+ ALSO YEA THAT MAYOR IN THE MRT STATION IS UMMM RATHER REMINISCENT OF MAAAANY POLITICIANS AND PUBLIC SERVANTS HERE LIKE BELIEVE ME I CAN THINK OF SO MANY NAMES RN. THEY WOULD FLAUNT THEIR MACHISMO AND PROMISE THAT THEY THEMSELVES SHALL PUNISH THE PERPETRATORS HARSHLY BUT IN THE END THEY DONT MEAN SHIT AND ARE IN OFFICE TO SERVE ONLY THEMSELVES AND TO SHIT ON THE REST ESP THOSE OF THE POORER SECTORS AND *NOTHING IS DONE ABOUT IT*. WE LIVE IN HELL OKAY. also hmm how the police are represented here is umm,,,interesting,,, like i know there are sOME good police officers like the ones alexandra assists but like,,,our current sociopolitical climate + the many cases showcasing the corruption in the police force + tHE SHEER AMOUNT OF POLICE BRUTALITY HERE would ummm beg to differ. but um anyways-

+ Also Mang Inasal posters can be seen in the MRT station backdrops and um it’s a very famous restaurant chain here and they serve lots of barbecue and other filipino stuffs and i miss them a lot God their halo halo is very yummy

+ Santelmo - oki so this is the fire face thingy that Alexandra summons inside the ruined train. This is the shortened version of the term "Apoy ni Santa Elmo" or "St. Elmo's Fire" - this is a weather phenomenon wherein plasma is created from an electrical discharge from a rod like object in an atmospheric electric field. This phenomenon was used to warn of imminent lightning strikes or storms (there is a chapter in Noli Me Tangere where Pilosopo Tasyo talks about that bUT I'LL SAVE THE NOLI ME TANGERE RAMBLES FOR ANOTHER DAY). But according to Philippine folklore, santelmos - which are said to be souls of people lost as sea - are balls of fire that appear where accidents or big arguments happen. In Trese, santelmos (alex's santelmo being "The Great Spirit of the Binondo Fire") can be called to assist in supernatural investigations

+ Translation of what Alex says when she draws the circles to meet with the purple ghosts: "Souls, where are you off to? I'll be entering too, so please open the door."

+ Remember the scene at the train with all the purple ghosts and the woman in a veil? Yea the woman is an emissary of a goddess named Ibu and she is the Manobo (again, another indigenous ethnic group but this time they're from Mindanao; fun fact we have around 134 ethnic groups) goddess of deceased mortals and the queen of the underworld; she also serves as a psychopomp and guides the newly deceased souls to the other side (having an MRT be the ride to the underworld isn’t in the legends tho so fkkjsf)

+ The aswang in the top hat is called Xa Mul and according to the Isneg/Apayao people (yay another ethnic group but this time in northern Luzon - the Cordillera regions to be specific), they are an evil spirit known to swallow people whole.

+ Alex has two henchmen right? Yea they are named Crispin and Basillio and No I still don’t know who’s who and I'm really sorry about that fsfjs so anyways the names Crispin and Basillio are actually those of two brothers featured in the Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo novels (Crispin is younger and Basilio is older) which are basically the national novels here cause um yea written by national hero Jose Rizal as sociopolitical commentary about the Spanish regime here. I don't know if I want to spoil this cause I kinda want other people to read the novel too fskfs BUT ALL IN ALL, ONE OF THEM DIES IN LIKE THE 10TH OR 11TH CHAPTER OF NOLI ME TANGERE (and the novel has 64 chapters btw) AND UM YEA-

+ OKI SO TO ADD MORE CONTEXT TO THE SQUATTER STUFFS MENTIONED IN TRESE (we r gonna use the tiny font here because holy shit this rant is long): So,in the Philippines, especially in the capital region, there are lots of slum areas called squatters. These are dense urban settlements made of compact makeshift housing units that aren't really officially recognized by the government. This is um very reflective of the poverty situation here and there are maaany factors that come into play here and if i were to go into depth about this topic, that rant would probably turn into an academic paper so for the sake of brevity, let's just say that Things Are Fucked Up Here. Oftentimes the poorer sectors are being ignored and left to their own devices despite tons of campaign promises to make things better and easier for them. The communities that live here are incredibly vulnerable to floods, fires, and the like and afaik no concrete solutions have been in effect to protect these people and their settlements. There have also been many times where squatter areas are dismantled or demolished despite protests of people living in those areas and yea I understand the need to make space and the need for renovation but the people should still be offered some sort of temporary settlement or financial compensation thingy that doESN'T fuck them over but alas, we have an anti-poor government. That being said, I really like Trese Ep 1's portrayal of governmental negligence, but I also have some thoughts, especially in regards to the mayor being arrested THAT FAST which um believe me, NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS BECAUSE MANY MAYORS AND A LOT OF POLITICIANS HAVE THE POLICE IN THEIR POCKETS SO UM ERR YEA JUSTICE IS RARELY A THING HERE BUT UM ANYWAYS YEA THE GOVERNMENT LIKES TO SHIT ON THE POOR WOO LET'S SAVE THE USE OF SOCIOLOGICAL LENS ON THIS MATTER FOR ANOTHER DAY

+ The news channel reporting the arrest of the mayor is ABC-ZNN WHICH IS AN OBVIOUS REFERENCE TO ABSCBN aka the top media conglomerate here (that has been fucked over by the government so many times to the point that they had to shut down operations last year which is all sorts of unfair so seeing them being referenced here kinda made me happy gksfks)

#HI PATROC I HAVE A GIFT #IT'S A VERY LONG AND CONVOLUTED GIFT #BUT IT'S A GIFT #I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS #this is literally 2813 words long AND IT TOOK ME 12 HOURS TO TYPE THIS OUT OH GOD #AND THIS IS JUST EP 1 #here's to hoping the following eps are gonna be much easier for me to like ramble about considering that i explained quite a lot here gfsfs #please do take this ramble with a grain of salt tho cause obviously I am not a mythology expert so um feel free to add more info! #i'd really love to see more info about trese so yay! #trese #trese netflix #alexandra trese #trese spoilers #ask to tag

[skellebonez]

Hope you're doing well! May I request some Tang and Pigsy being dads with 67 and 74? Whether they're being dads to the Traffic Light Trio or the Monkey King himself it's up to you!

Despite my posts about Google breaking my phone for most of the day and that making this a bit short, I’m doing pretty good! I was so ready to write the dad duo with the TLT again BUT THEN YOU SUGGESTED MONKEY KING AND...

My father may look like the scary one, but it’s my mother you need to be afraid of./It’s only just a little bit illegal.

“Oh come on!” Wukong chuckled out, stretching out and not even trying to hide the evidence as Pigsy and Tang had already caught him red handed. “It’s only just a little bit illegal. It’s not even hurting anybody, they can fix this with a really heavy book if they really wanted to!”

“Wukong, no,” Pigsy said with a sigh, pinching the brim of snout as he shook his head.

“What if Xiaotian had seen you?” Tang said suddenly, voice softening slightly with a frown. “Aren’t you supposed to be setting a good example? Hard work and perseverance and, you know, not gluing every entrance to his parent’s house shut in retaliation while they were gone?”

Wukong had indeed been caught doing just that... but in his defense Xiaotian’s parents had attempted to call him 5 times during training today. Xiaotian had left him with a shaky “My father may look like the scary one, but it’s my mother you need to be afraid of” as he left and that’s what cemented his desire to get them back in some way. It’s just a little prank, glue every entrance to their house shut while they’re gone and make them work to get back inside.

At least that was the plan. Until Tang and Pigsy just so happened to hear about a few baby monkeys hanging out in the area of the house somehow and came to investigate.

“You can’t just run off and do things like this without warning, Monkey King or not,” Pigsy chastised, gesturing to the very firmly glued door. “What if you’d been caught? You barely heard us coming until it was too late to run!”

“That’s because I’m number 1 focus guy?” Wukong defended, crossing his arms with a frown.

“Don’t cross your arms at us young man!” Pigsy snapped with a glare, sighing.

“I’m older than both of you,” Wukong attempted to refute, though the quickly deepening disappointed glowers from the chef and scholar were enough to make his ears pull back and his mouth snap shut with a clack as his teeth snapped together. He was starting to understand what Xiaotian meant when he told him that Pigsy and Tang being disappointed in him was far worse than them being angry. They stayed like that for a while, the two mortal men looking at the immortal man like they had caught their own son burning matches in his bedroom and oh Heaven he was being parented by his student's father figures who were centuries younger than he was and it was working. “Fine... I’ll leave them the glue remover outside.”

“Now that’s better!” Tang said with a chuckle, glasses shining with a glare from the sun. “Just be sure to wipe your prints off, can’t have them linking it back to anyone. Next time, bring better lookouts than your monkeys, we’re much more familiar with Xiaotian’s parents after all.”

Pigsy put his face in his hands and sighed. “Tang, no... they deserve to be taken down a peg but we can do it without vandalizing their house next time.”

Oh... Tang was the fun parent.

Wukong smirked. He should probably take him up on that next time.

#pigsy is trying to be the actually responsible one here #he is barely failing #monkie kid #lego monkie kid #pigsy #tang #dad pigsy #dad tang #monkey king #sun wukong #prompt fill

[ainosk8]

EP 8 ADAM WATCH

i cannot believe i am being emotionally ravaged by an anime about skater boys........but here we are! let’s relive the trauma so we’re ready to be ruined again on saturday 

I wanna start with the show’s religious symbolism. I had originally taken the whole Adam/Eve thing to be just part of Adam’s schtick, but with this episode it feels like something the show is trying to lean into thematically. 

So in flashback we see Adam skating dangerously with someone (unnamed). He expresses wanting to escape the real world and go to a world just for the two of them, a Garden of Eden with himself as Adam and this skater as his would-be Eve. Unfortunately, in pursuit of Adam this skater falls and is injured.

This shot even kind of looks like Adam standing alone in a garden. 

From this scene we gather that when Adam says “Eve”, he’s talking about someone who can match his abilities in skating and I guess propel the two of them into a higher plane of existence? Maybe just inhabiting that feeling of skating with someone at his level is what “Eden” means to him. Skating is his escape from the trauma of his actual life and Eden from the bible is a perfect place, without pain. Interestingly, some of the lyrics from the theme song “Paradise” relate to this idea:

“Let’s risk our lives”, “Before we get killed by the world” and “The destination is Zion” in particular stand out to me. Even though we haven’t seen Adam injured yet, he is risking his own life just as much as his partner’s when he pulls the stunts he does. It’s worth the danger if it gets him closer to “Zion”, AKA (i had to google it) “the heavenly city or kingdom of heaven”. Maybe he sincerely has a death wish, but doesn’t want to go alone. Dark!

A big question I had watching this was, if Tadashi is this amazing skater whose skills rival Adam’s, why is he not his Eve? Well, bc in this metaphor, he has been labelled the Snake, or the deceptive serpent that facilitated Adam and Eve’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden. If Adam blames Tadashi for having skating taken away from him when he was a teenager (since he didn’t intervene in front of Adam’s father), I can see why Adam would view him that way. But Adam didn’t choose this name, Tadashi did.

Tadashi’s goal in entering the tournament is to defeat Adam and force him to quit skating, which would mean giving up on the “Eden” he’s pursued since his teen years. I’m not certain of his motivation here. 

Is it retaliation for asking Tadashi to take the fall for his political career? If that’s what he’s upset about, why not force Adam to take responsibility for his part in the collusion and plead guilty to perjury? Even after this interaction, Adam seems sure that Tadashi will take the heat for him.

It’s clear Tadashi knows that taking skating away from Adam is the thing that will hurt him the most. He wants to hurt him. But he also cares about him, or at least the person he used to be. He gently touches the intertwined hearts at the bottom of the pool he and Adam use to practice skating. It’s probably the same place he first taught Adam to skate.

I love the light behind Tadashi in this flashback. It really makes him look like an angel appearing to baby Adam to give him some reprieve from his hellish existence.

And now he’s going to rip it away from him.

His face here SCREAMS betrayal. Even if Tadashi does accept the perjury charge in Adam’s place, just telling Adam he plans to take skating away from him, the one Good Thing he’s ever had in his life, that Tadashi gave him in the first place...it’s the cruelest thing he could do. Losing his political career would cause trouble for him, but losing skating would leave him with nothing.

It’s possible that Tadashi isn’t being petty, and that he thinks hurting him this way is for Adam’s own good. Which is a pretty upsetting parallel to his aunts’ abuse.

Tying it back to religion, I wonder if there is something about this trio of aunties that is symbolic. The holy trinity comes to mind, as does the Mother, Maiden, Crone Triple Goddess of pagan worship. I’m not enough of a biblical scholar to say for sure, but maybe something about God punishing the beings he created... God let his son die for humanity’s sins...The Flood from Genesis (the police lady does mention the shady diet member’s collusion is related to a dam, and if that wasn’t up to code there could be a flood)..?? idk

If the big honking angel painting is any indication, religion clearly has a place in the Shindo household. Someone who knows more about the bible please weigh in cuz I wanna know 

SPEAKING OF BIBLE

Fun fact: The name of Joe’s Italian restaurant “Sia la luce” google translates to “Let there be light”. Shoutout to the friend I was watching this with for pausing on this frame, or I wouldn’t have noticed it.

This is a reference to God’s creation of Heaven and Earth, but perhaps also symbolic of Joe’s desire to bring Adam back “into the light” and away from his destructive behavior. Cherry seems more spiteful towards Adam than Joe does, but they both seem to want to reach out and snap Adam out of his current mindset rather than just looking to punish/get revenge. There are hurt feelings, sure, but also concern.

“And God saw the light, and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness.” As someone who cares for Adam (or the person he once was), Joe wants to show him right from wrong, show him the error of his ways.

Cherry says this in episode five:

Even though Cherry and Joe were against Adam’s actions, they never wanted to stop being friends with him. When Adam left for America right after high school, they lost their chance to get through to him. They still want mend that relationship, or at least reconcile how it ended seven years later, or else they wouldn’t bother to keep approaching him. 

Based on the title for the next ep “We Were Special Back Then” I’m betting we’ll see even more of their perspective this weekend. 

I hope Cherry and Joe will be able to help him 🥺 It’s hard for me to imagine a happy ending for my guy at this point, but......I continue to hope 

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 adam #shindo ainosuke #ainosuke shindo #much like adam i refuse to focus on work and wrote an anime essay instead #adam watch

[qqueenofhades]

Hi! I need fic etiquette advice. I've written fic for a long time but only recently started putting it on AO3. I am a scholar, and I write fic to relax, and I often write for corny fandoms, so I don't do research because it's supposed to be fun, and I don't need more stress in my sad life. But is it bad to not research? I love the research that is visible in your fics, but I think I would stop writing if I had to look up, for example, UK dialects for all my fics set in the UK, and it triggers my intense anxiety about fucking it up. I just don't want to be rude, so I put a disclaimer at the beginning about how I'm American. Is that good enough? This is very clearly an anxiety ask lol help

Aha, high five for "scholar/academic who writes fic to relax," since I'm also in that camp. Likewise (sad) high five for "intense anxiety about fucking up by somehow not researching enough," because that's basically our whole life, isn't it? So yes. I feel you. I feel you hard.

As for fic research: I sometimes get lovely comments on my fics about how I must have researched for hours or even weeks/months, and I always feel somewhat bad about being like "well, lol, yes, I did Wikipedia and Google a few things, but it's probably not as nearly much as you think." There are cases where I did do a shit-ton of specific and extensive research, such as my Swan and Crossbones series, which is an OUAT/Black Sails duology set in the historical 18th century/Golden Age of Piracy/Age of Sail. Then I really did spend hours on extremely obscure websites/online historical archives, and likewise for my Timeless All Souls AU trilogy, I did some extra reading on the Elizabethan period. But that's just because I am the kind of person who desperately needs authentic trivia and for my facts/scene-setting/world-building details to be correct (see: intense anxiety about fucking up). And when I am interested enough to write a fic using a particular place/time/scenario as a setting, I usually already know enough about it that it doesn't take long to plug in said details.

Once again, however, I stress that this is just how my personal writing process/brain works, and if it would ruin your enjoyment and escapism to stop for long periods to look these things up, and/or break your writing flow: you're still not obliged to do that. Fanfic is written by amateurs working for free -- and not "amateur" in the disparaging connotation of being "bad," since a lot of fanfic writers blow professional TV writers out of the water, but meaning someone who does it simply for passion, rather than for pay. The modern English word "amateur" comes pretty directly from the Latin "amator," or "lover." When you're an amateur, you're doing something because you love it and not because you expect to get any kind of money or compensation out of it. You are voluntarily spending your own free time to write stories and post them, and you honestly do not owe your readers anything, aside from what you choose to give them. If you're putting a disclaimer at the start of your fics that you're American, and then making at least a decent effort, that's perfectly fine.

Obviously, if you're writing about certain characters or storylines, you have a basic duty to be respectful and produce the kind of fan content you want to see in the world, but -- although it may not feel like it in this hypercritical online environment -- it's better to make a genuine effort, even if you get some minor things wrong, than to be so obsessed with every tiny little detail that you never post at all for fear of being dogpiled by the purity police. Those people do exist, they will target you from time to time, and it absolutely sucks. But as I have said before in answers to other asks, most fanfic writers/readers know that they shouldn't leave the kind of comment they wouldn't want to get themselves, and that unless the author has explicitly asked for constructive criticism, it's a dick move to offer it under the guise of being "helpful." This isn't an MFA writing seminar or other place where you expect to receive technical feedback by the dictates of the structure. We're just writing self-indulgent stories about wanting some fictional idiots to kiss (or whatever we want to do to them, lmao). This is not the forum where you should roll up with your red pen and lists of nitpicks. If you don't like a fic, the back button exists. Use it.

To summarise, since this is getting long: you are under absolutely no obligation to put any more effort into your own fics than you want to, and if you want to write them as escapism from your stressful real life and without having to get bogged down in minutiae: valid! Really valid! Entirely valid! If you won't like your own work without doing at least some research, then do as much as you would like so that you can feel unambiguously proud of the result. (That is, as much as any of us feel proud of our own work, lol.) If you know that you should probably at least skim Wikipedia on a particular topic, that's pretty easy to do, and it can be enjoyable to go down a rabbit hole that is purely from fun and not for academic work. That's easy to do without breaking your flow, and you can pick up new details that can influence your plot or characters in both fun and realistic ways, so hey, bonus!

Anyway. Writing is hard. Real life sucks. Just have fun and do your best. Find the balance that works for you, which absolutely does not have to be like mine or anyone else's, and see how it goes. <3

#anonymous #ask #writing advice

[queenlua]

You're a druid and an ex-evangelical, right? What does being a druid mean to you? How did you get from evangelicalism to where you are now? And of course feel free to ignore this if it's nosy. (sincerely, a Christian who wants to leave but who doesn't know what to do)

this is going to make me sound ignorant as hell, lol, but i'm happy to share

under a cut because this got very long, sorry, lol.

my personal progression was: "vaguely christian -> VERY christian -> christian agnostic -> agnostic/atheist -> agnostic/druid -> some sorta druid-neopagan-animist thing."  i guess i'll just go through what made me switch between each of those, and close out with some high-level thoughts that may be helpful for you?

okay, so when i was

VAGUELY CHRISTIAN,

i went to Sunday school every week because That's What You Do, and because my whole hometown was very southern Baptist, i never questioned the veracity of its teachings much... until they ran a whole weekly series on "why [x] is wrong," where [x] is some other group

e.g., we had a week on why Mormons are wrong, and i didn't bat an eye because i hadn't even known Mormons existed until that moment

then we had a week on why Muslims are wrong, and that... bothered me, because i had a friend who was Muslim, and she was just objectively a better person than me, and i was like "any universe where she goes to hell and i don't seems really fucked up"

then we had a week on why EVOLUTION was wrong, and that just absolutely threw me, because while i hadn't thought about evolution much (i think i was in fourth grade or so), it seemed common-sense? scientists thought highly of it? "adaptation over time" just seems logical?

so i went to the public library every day after school for like a week, read some Darwin and some science books, and came back to my Sunday school teacher with, like, an itemized list of objections to the whole "evolution is wrong" thing.  and he came up with some standard Answers In Genesis rebuttals, and i did more research and came back the next week with more science, and we repeated this a few times until he was like "lua, you just gotta take some things on faith"

which.  lmao.  full existential crisis time, because no matter how hard i thought, i couldn't *not* believe in the science, but i also didn't want to go to hell, so i was like "maybe if i believe SUPER HARD i will SOMEDAY be able to unbelieve the condemn-me-to-hell bits"

so i decided to become

VERY CHRISTIAN

and my frantic googling for shit like "proof of god" and "god and evolution" *eventually* broke me out of the Answers In Genesis circles of the internet, and into some decent Christian apologia, like, think First Things and various Catholic bloggers.  and there, i found some way to square my gut sense that evolution was right, with a spiritual worldview.

like, i remember finding some blogger who said:

"young earth creationists get tripped up when they try to explain stars that are millions of light-years away, and end up basically arguing that God's tricking us somehow, and—no!  my God lets you believe in the evidence of your eyes, my God does not demand that you make yourself ignorant or stupid, my God expects you to use your brain"

and i just started crying at my computer, because no one had ever said "using your brain is Good and part of God's will," i was like *finally* here's someone who won't tell me i'm going to hell for just *thinking* about things

(st. augustine does a much better riff on a similar theme, fwiw, but i only found him later)

still, it was an uneasy fit, because, the more i learned and read about world history, the more it seemed... weird... that the One And Singular Path To Salvation was... the successor to some niche desert cult... which didn't even occur at the *beginning* of written history, like, it was all predated by that whole Mithraism thing, etc... and like, sure, i could trot out all the standard theological talking points for why Actually This Makes Perfect Sense, but gut-level-wise, the aesthetics just seemed kinda dumb!  and no level of talking myself out of it made that feeling go away!

so at this point i started referring to myself as a

CHRISTIAN AGNOSTIC

i mean, not aloud.  i still lived in southernbaptistopia and i didn't want, like, my hair stylist to tell me i was a horrible person.  but in my *head* i called myself Christian agnostic and it felt right.

and i started church-hopping, which honestly was really fun, would recommend to anyone at any point.  i visited the fire-and-brimstone baptist church, the methodist church, the episcopalians, the universal unitarians, etc.

unfortunately, while this gave me *some* new perspectives, each of the places either had the same shitty theology as my old megachurch (i remember the *acute* sense of despair i felt when i was starting to jive with a methodist church... only for the dumbass youth minister to start going on about evolution), or, they just lacked any sense of the *sacred*.  like, the Church of Christ churches, with their a capella services, *definitely* had it; i felt more God there in one service than i did in a lifetime of shitty Christian rock at the megachurch.  but their beliefs were even *more* batshit, so.  big L on that one.

having failed to find a satisfactory church, i was basically

AGNOSTIC/ATHEIST

by the time i went to college, but honestly pretty unhappy about it; while it was harder than ever for me to actually *connect* with the divine, i didn't like thinking that my previous experiences of the divine were total lies.  because my shitty evangelical church, for all its faults, could not *completely* sabotage the sense of God's presence.  there were real moments in that church where i do believe i experienced something divine.  mostly mediated by one particular youth minister, who in hindsight was the only spiritual teacher in that church who didn't seem a bit rotten inside, but!  it was something!

so when i happened upon a bunch of writings on the now-defunct shii.org (that's the bit that makes me look WILDLY ignorant, lol), i was utterly captivated.

said author was a previous archdruid of the Reformed Druids of North America, an organization that was formed in the 1960s to troll the administration of Carleton College (there was a religious-service-attendance requirement; they made their own religion; their religion had whiskey and #chilltimes for its services).  however, this shii.org dude seemed to take it pretty seriously.  he was studying history of religion and blogged a lot about his studies, both academic and otherwise.  while RDNA had started out as a troll, that didn't mean they hadn't *discovered* something real in the process, he said.

this, already, was going to be innately appealing to me; i've got a soft spot for wow-we-were-doing-this-ironically-but-now-it's-kinda-real? stuff in general.

in particular, shii.org’s discussions on the separation of ritual from belief was really interesting to me: most religions/spiritualities have *both*, but like, you can do a ritual without having the Exact Right Beliefs (if there even is such a thing!), and it can still be useful to you, it can have real power.  (he had a really lovely essay, speculating on the origins of religion as just a form of art, but that essay is now lost to the sands of time, alas.)

(note that i wouldn't really recommend seeking out *recent* writing by the shii.org guy; he kinda went full tedious neoreactionary-blowhard-who-reads-a-lot-of-Spengler at some point?  sigh.)

the shii.org guy led me to checking out a bunch of books on the history of neopaganism & also books by scholars of religion in general, and the more i read, the more excited i became.  and i started doing little ritual/meditation stuff here and there.

then i was fortunate enough to attend some events with Earthspirit (this was when i lived in Boston), which cemented my hippie dalliances into something more real.  the folks there, being from Boston, were all ridiculously overeducated (a sensibility that appeals to me), but also, being the kind of folks who drive out to a mountain in the middle of nowhere for a spiritual retreat, they tolerated a full range of oddities (everyone from aging-70s-feminist-wiccans to living-on-a-farm-with-your-bros-Astaru to dude-who-started-having-weird-visions-and-is-just-trying-to-figure-out-the-deal to Nordic-spiritualist-with-two-phds-from-Scandanavian-universities-on-the-subject, etc), which gave me a lot of room to explore different types of rituals, ceremonies, "magic", etc.

(polytheism in general lends itself well to this sort of easy plurality!  i can believe other people are experiencing something real with their gods, and i can be talking to a totally different set of gods, and that’s just all very compatible, etc)

anyway, i started calling myself

AGNOSTIC/DRUID

around then, because i knew i'd found *something*, something that felt like all the realest moments i'd ever had in nature, and all the realest moments i'd ever had in that shitty megachurch, but i wasn't quite ready to put a theology to it.

but, idk, you do the thing for a while, and you start encountering some things that you may as well call gods, and you realize you're in pretty deep, and you ditch the "agnostic" bit and just throw hands and start describing yourself as

SOME SORTA DRUID-NEOPAGAN-ANIMIST THING

because that's the most precise thing you can muster.  in particular, the druid bit resonates because nature's still very much at the center of my practice; the neopagan bit resonates because i'm not especially interested in reconstructing older traditions or being faithful to any actual pre-Christian traditions, and animist resonates because what i sometimes call gods seem to be tied pretty tightly to the land itself.  it's all very experiential; all this mostly means i'm some weird chick who sometimes grabs a car and drives out someplace very lonely and hikes for a while and does some hippie shit to try and talk with the land or the god or whatever is there.  and sometimes i come back from it changed, or refocused, or what-have-you, and hopefully i'm better for it.  i'm aware this makes me look a little ridiculous, and is an unsatisfying answer, sorry!

WRT YOUR SITUATION

i don't know you or your situation, obviously, but if i wanted to give former-me some advice to save her some angst, i'd say

-> Christendom itself is far wilder and more diverse than many churches lead you to believe.  if you still want to be Christian on some level, and it's just a shitty church that's convinced you the whole project is fucked, i'd honestly explore, i dunno, your nearest Quaker meeting.  they're invoking the Holy Spirit with regularity but they're not raging douchenozzles about it.

-> if you're specifically interested in druidism, i found John Michael Greer's "A World Full of Gods" really nice.  (caveat: Greer has *also* gone full right-wing nutjob these days, sigh, so like.  would not recommend a great swath of his writing.  but that one's good)

-> deciding that a just God wouldn't give me a brain and then ask me not to use it was hugely comforting to me.  like, that was the start of the whole process, that was what made me feel ok searching for other churches and trying to find something that fit.  obviously you should take this with 800 grains of salt, because obviously i'm no longer Christian, and thus maybe i'm just some poor misguided fallen soul, but... i still kinda believe that!  maybe if you can make yourself believe that, it'll seem less scary?

idk, happy to answer more questions, sorry for the long ramble, hope it helped~

#druid stuff

[girderednerve]

pretty sure if you took an inventory list of my brain you'd just find like, dust bunnies and out of print encyclopedias

trying to write this stupid class discussion post & really thinking about jacopo da voragine, a chunk of whose thirteenth-century chronicle of the city of genoa i translated (very poorly) from latin as an undergrad. jacopo's chronicle isn't very famous, but his golden legend was widely read and cited, and he was generally a respected scholar. the thing about jacopo is that the style of writing that he thought was good is just like, totally different from the modern preferred rhetorical style. his idea of a really good sentence would be something like this: "and then as we see from <biblical or patristic reference, ideally one which does not seem relevant at all>, good judges must judge just judgments, or their leadership will be for nothing."

it's fun to mess around trying to read medieval scholastic latin because it's unfamiliar in a way that classical latin isn't. if you've read literally anything written by an english person from the nineteenth century, you've come across sentences which are designed to sound like ciceronian latin. but we don't write like medieval scholastics and we don't read things that particularly sound like them. their idea of a good rhetorical turn included lots of etymologically related words and verbose sentences (not just because of medieval latin's expanded use of prepositions). in that hypothetical sentence above, that bit about judges would in latin read something like this: "iudices iudicata iustum iudicent," and then for 'leadership' jacopo might use a different, related iu- word, so the whole thing looks like a nonsense pile of the same fucking word. but it isn't! it's grammatical, and, moreover, clever! my example is quite bad but you get a sense of the thing. there's a deliberate circularity to it, as a way of enforcing connected ideas; in some ways, i think, it ended up being a useful way to orient one's reading. the copies of the chronicle that we have do have headings in them, but they have no other internal finding aids (no page numbers or foliation, no table of contents, no index; i think they're unrubricated, as well). it's interesting to try to puzzle out the practical exigency behind the style. scholastic latin becomes much more complicated and difficult than this; jacopo was trying to be readable, i think, because he had all sorts of terribly important things to say about his political moment in genoa, and he was using history to do it.

there's something extremely fun about trying to figure out what good writing looks like in another language, even when you can't really appreciate it because you're an idiot who has to look up every other word in wiktionary and/or your massive, irritating medieval latin dictionary pdf. there's a rhythm to it, a sense of what the language felt like. i miss doing translations, even though i was, on balance, awful at it. there's a sense of proximity to the past (these words, these exactly, were written) that only emphasizes the distance (i can only read them with the assistance of an online dictionary and i have to google every scriptural reference).

anyway this came up because i am sitting here trying to write a sentence that's like "when judges judge cases, they use various sources of law to inform their judgments," which sounds like complete ass in english but would've been perfectly acceptable if i wrote it in latin in thirteenth-century italy. also because it's more fun to think about this than it is to think about how incredibly fucking annoying i find class discussion

#this post is.... the required length of my discussion post.... which i have not written..... #latin blogging #i suppose. mostly it's just complaining. i miss messing around with medieval latin though it was fun in its way #technically i'm a grad student

[britneyshakespeare]

tagged by @david-watts!!! thank you let’s have some fun >:)

name: Diana 

nickname: call me whatever you want, but also don’t acknowledge me

gender: womanish

star sign: 🌟🛑

height: 5′6 and three quarters... but that’s bitchy so I say I’m 5′7

time: about 6 pm

favourite band: I like a lot but I’ll just take the L and say the Beatles. I also love like Blondie and the Stones and No Doubt and blah blah. Idk I haven’t been /as/ into music lately. My interest in music goes up and down. I like a lotta weird stuff. I don’t really have taste. I’ve been lapsing back into the kpop I loved as a teen lately though so feel free to tack on Super Junior and Seventeen.

favourite solo artist: Marianne Faithfull for the everything, also love Francoise Hardy and Sinead O’Connor and uh a bunch others. Donovan comes to mind... yeah.

song stuck in my head: I had SHINee - Sherlock stuck in my head but right now I’m playing Express Yourself by Madonna

last movie: uhhh before Christmas I was watching Susan Slept Here on TV w my dad... and I HATED it lol, turned it off halfway, if it has a better ending than middle that’s cool, don’t tell me about it

last television show: Malcolm in the Middle

when did I create this blog: August 2012 ._.

what did I last google: your mom

other blogs: @creatediana

do I get asks: Sometimes on here. Never on my poetry blog lol.

why I chose my URL: I’m a Britney scholar and a Shakespearean popstar

average hours of sleep: more than it feels like lol

lucky number: deux

instruments: can I say guitar if I haven’t taken mine out of its case since I was 18? It’s okay I don’t really miss it. I don’t have the time for it anymore and I don’t feel overly sad about it, I had a good run with it and it served me as much as it could as a hobby when I was younger. Sometimes when I say “I used to play guitar” people look at me with pity like “you can start again!” and I’m like that would be... literally a bore. I’ve moved on lol what is with this Chase Your Dreams Supremacy... not everything is a dream! Some things are good and fleeting and we do not want them back to re-experience joy we have transcended comfortably! Sorry that turned into a rant. I never think about playing music anymore.

what I am wearing: Jake from State Farm...

dream job: I would really love to be a translator of poetry and theater, I’m obsessed with the way art is attached to its language inextricably, and the task of equalizing it into another tongue is a task I find daunting and worthwhile.

dream trip: blaaaaah I just wanna go shopping again but like, safely. I can’t even think. I haven’t even thought about recreationally leaving my home in too long to be able to answer this question.

favourite food: anything I don’t have to cook.

favourite song: Idk but Is Ar Eirinn Ni N-Eosphainn Ce Hi by Mary O’Hara lives in my head when I think about peace and tranquility.

last book I read: Book book as in novel or just anything? I’ve been reading Ugly Music by Diannely Antigua, the Complete Poems of Anne Sexton and the Collected Poems of Frank O’Hara in the past day or two. But if you mean something with a /plot/ then I guess I’m in Act V of Richard III by Shakespeare. I’ve been reading that this whole month when I realized the only Shakespeare play I read in 2020 was King Lear as opposed to like, a lot more in 2018 when I first got the Riverside Shakespeare, and still a good number in 2019. If you mean the last time I read a novel, though... go fuck yourself. I’ve been reading The Professor by Charlotte Bronte on and off for over a year. Haven’t opened it once since like March. I can’t read novels bitch I have ADHD.

top 3 universes I want to live in: Buffyverse, because I wanna be a vampire, duh. I would also maybe like to live in A Midsummer Night’s Dream as a fairy... and. Hm. I wanna live in my dog Sandy’s head, she always seems to be at peace. She’s a sweet and beautiful old lady.

thank youuuuu!!! George!!! I’ll tag some other friends now :) @octopussy25 @sneez @szappan @mylittlehappy @buddyhollyscurls @beatlesgirlfab @sinnamonsam @pavlovers @nebylitsa @mypointremains @aliceic @mirrorball-moon

#anyone i forgot is also welcome to play!!!! tag me. i forget everyone all the time. i miss you all i love you all take care #tag #this was fun #i'll have you all know i'm listening to jesse mccartney now #it's the other guy from 2014... bc i'm a REAL FAN SO I KNOW THIS MASTERPIECE

[palimpsessed]

The Welsh Red Dragon, Kurt Vonnegut, and Social Activism

The inspiration behind Shepard’s pins

(original post with full artwork here.)

So, I spent A LOT of time thinking about the kind of pins our good friend Shepard (from Omaha, NE) would have on his denim jacket. Like a lot. Like an obsessive amount of time. I made a list, which seemed appropriate for this fandom. And because I’m a nerd and this sort of thing really interests me, and I’m proud of what I came up with, and because I think some of these items open up the possibility for some good, good literary analysis, I decided to make a whole post dedicated to Shepard’s pins. You’re welcome.

First, a little bit about my thought process. How did I decide what kind of pins to give Shepard? Well, he’s a guy full of stories. Stories that he can’t wait to tell anyone and everyone. And stories that others (mostly Maybes) have told him, once he’s earned their confidence. So, I wanted his pins to tell a story, his story in particular. What is the story that Shepard wants to tell about himself? More precisely, what is the story he wants to tell his new magickal friends on a disastrous summer holiday? The story is that of his own magickal credibility. His journey to magic (his come to Crowley moment, perhaps?) (I’d apologize, but I’m not sorry…) and his trustworthiness as evidenced by all of the Maybes he’s met along the way. He’s gotten drunk off dandelion wine with a creek dryad, given a toothbrush to a Sasquatch. spilled the tea with a jackalope, midwifed a centaur foal. Shep’s journey is just as impressive as Simon’s, and while Simon has been collecting notches on his dead dark creature bedpost (that’s a weird fucking metaphor…) (and now I’m thinking about dark creatures and Simon’s bedposts…so, you’re welcome, Basilton), Shep’s been collecting notches of the friendly variety. (Shoutout to @adamarks who did some super lovely analysis on Simon and Shep as mirrors here: https://adamarks.tumblr.com/post/188046272067/ok-so-when-shepard-said-he-was-cursed-the-first). So, I decided that I wanted to use Shep’s pins as a way to show the notches on his bedpost, so to speak. (Okay, I’m really losing this metaphor, but I think you’re still with me.)

Let’s dive in!

(I’m working my way down one side of his jacket at a time, for those following along at home.)

RIGHT SIDE

Welsh Dragon: I made this one very large, and easy to spot on his right shoulder. Of all of his accoutrements, this one felt like the most important. Mainly, because of Simon. Simon is, after all, half-Welsh. (The Mage, may he rest in pain, came to Watford from Wales.) And, of course, Simon, just like the Welsh Dragon, is a red dragon. (Or in the process of becoming one? Or a half-dragon? Or a dragon kitten?…) And the dragon that Simon and Baz fought on the Watford lawn, when they first worked together, and first shared magic, was a red dragon. Of course, the actual dragon in question here is Margaret. Shepard would absolutely have a pin to commemorate his friendship with her. And since I was going to give him a pin with a dragon, I knew I was going to have to use the Welsh Dragon because it would perfectly capture his burgeoning friendship with Simon, as well. Now, I want to go on a slight detour here (this blog post will be its own Odyssey) and talk more about the Welsh Red Dragon. I took the design for the pin from the Welsh flag, which is the thing that first made me think more about Simon’s Welsh connection. I’m not really making a point here, I just think it’s fascinating! There’s a lot of Welsh lore about the Red Dragon (and Margaret herself calls Simon “Great Red” - that ‘R’ is capitalized, by the way, so this seems to be a proper name for the kind of dragon that she thinks Simon is). Full disclosure, I am not Welsh and I am not a scholar on any of this by any means. That being said, a cursory, and super academic, perusal of the Wikipedia article on the Welsh Dragon led me to a few different history websites that linked the symbol of the red dragon with Merlin and King Arthur (son of Uther Pendragon, literally dragon head). Merlin, one of the most well-known magical figures and Arthur, one of the most well-known Chosen One figures in literary tradition. I know very little about Arthurian legend, and Welsh history, and dragon lore, though, so I’m going to just say, do a little research on your own when you’re bored and feeling nerdy!

Resist!: Shep is a young black man (and reasonable human being) living in the U.S. during the [redacted] Administration. I should hope this one is self-explanatory.

Hoover Dam: At some point in his visits to see Blue, I’m sure Shepard stopped off at the gift shop and bought himself a souvenir pin to mark the incredible experience he had making friends with an actual river. (This pin design is based on an actual souvenir pin of the Hoover Dam I found on Google Images—along with most of the other pin designs. I think it’s vintage, which just felt even more like Shepard to me, because he’s the kind of guy who would appreciate stuff that’s got a past.)

Deathly Hallows: I mean, IF the Harry Potter books/movies exist in the Simon Snow universe (which hasn’t been confirmed, as far as I know, by our Queen) I’m sure Shepard would have been totally into it as a kid, and probably would have found greater significance in its magical lore once he discovered that ACTUAL MAGIC EXISTS! So, he would have a pin to show his belief in the magickal world, and maybe also as a nostalgic reminder of when magic was still just something fictional he could turn to for escapism (and not something that would result in being cursed by a demon…).

The Truth is Out There: So, I know virtually nothing about The X-Files (my sister was obsessed with it to the point that she wanted to become a FBI agent for a few years, but I never watched it), but I’m sure Shepard is a fan. If nothing else, the sentiment is awfully apropos.

So It Goes: This one is very hard to see. It sort of looks like a black teardrop with a bar on top of it (it’s supposed to look like a bomb). The pin I based this off of reads “So It Goes”, which from my very superficial research, is a line repeated in Vonnegut’s anti-war novel Slaughterhouse-Five every time someone dies. I don’t know anything more about it, other than that it is a Kurt Vonnegut-inspired pin available for purchase on Etsy, and Shep mentions that he wanted to get a Vonnegut quote tattoo, even though “everybody has those.”

Green Alien Head: You will never be able to convince me that Shepard does not 10,000% believe in the existence of aliens. If he were still in the U.S. during the Area 51 Raid, I’m sure he would have stopped by, just, you know, for science…(I’m thinking he was probably still in the UK, but I guess we’ll see in AWTWB.)

Centaur: This one is also hard to see, but I took the design from a pin I found of one of the centaurs (the blue-haired, blue-bodied one, if that rings a bell for you) from Disney’s Fantasia. (Fun fact: I was super into Fantasia as a littlun, and I attribute my lifelong love for classical music in large part to the centaur sequence and my latent lesbianism—I mean, it was ludicrously erotic. Watch it sometime and tell me it would not make an impression on a sapphic three-year-old.) Midwifing a centaur foal was probably a very emotional and formative experience for Shepard. Buying this pin would be his way of remembering that experience, and the excitement and gratitude he likely felt to have been entrusted with that kind of acceptance from the centaur(s).

Jackalope: It doesn’t help that this pin is almost the same color as Shepard’s jacket, but it’s based off a design of a jackalope’s head that, again, I found on Google Image search (honestly, I don’t know how I ever made art without it). We know that Shepard once got some gossip from a jackalope, who vented to him about magicians calling “themselves ‘magicians’”, like “they’re the only ones with magic”. (This is totally irrelevant, but I always think of Americans when I read this. I am an American, by the way. America is a continent, but those of us living in the U.S. calls ourselves Americans, like everyone else living in America doesn’t matter.) Anyway, the jackalope offered Shepard some valuable insight into the political workings of the magickal world, so it gets its own pin.

LEFT SIDE

Pansexual Pride Flag Pin: I mean, technically, canonically, we don’t know what Shepard’s sexuality (or asexuality) is, but I just get some vibes from him. Plus, if we take him as a mirror for Simon (who is somewhere on the bi-plus spectrum), it’s not a far cry to imagine he also identifies somewhere on that spectrum.

Pentagram: This is another symbol that I chose based on my interpretation of Shepard’s character, and not so much on a Maybe or a story that he mentioned. The pentagram, or pentacle, is typically associated with the occult and witchcraft, which is something that could potentially also be said of Shep.

Sasquatch: You don’t go backpacking—or not backpacking—and introduce a Sasquatch to the benefits of dental hygiene without getting yourself a souvenir of the hike.

I [heart] Mystery Spot: The Mystery Spot is a weird sort of phenomenon in California (my home state). It’s a place outside the beach town of Santa Cruz that boasts of a “gravitational anomaly” on its website. I went once, years ago, and while you’re there, it can feel pretty convincing. (Also, I was probably like 10, so…) People outside of California will likely never have heard of this place, but driving around here (at least in the Bay Area, where I am, which isn’t that far from Santa Cruz) you’ll see yellow Mystery Spot bumper stickers on cars everywhere. I’m not really sure what the thing is with the bumper stickers. Like, I’m sure not that many people actually think it’s legit, and maybe it’s like one of those things that Californians just do (like freak out and forget how to drive when we feel water falling from the sky). But yeah, these bumper stickers are everywhere. Anyway, Shepard drives around a lot. He knows about the Vampires of Las Vegas (how is that not an indie rock band?) and the Katherine Hotel, and the Next Blood. So, he’s probably made it past Nevada and into California before. And while he was there, it’s not a great stretch of the imagination that someone who chases after magic wouldn’t wind up at a place called the Mystery Spot and get himself a pin while he was there. (And maybe even a bumper sticker.)

Black Power Fist: Unfortunately, this one is also hard to see, because the fist is black and I didn’t have anything to go over the outlines of the fingers with, which I sort of didn’t think about when I colored it. This one also feels self-explanatory. Shepard is black. Blackness has long been treated in itself as a crime by non-black members of law enforcement, and just the general racist population of the U.S. Young black men are especially vulnerable to racially motivated violence. I’m sure Shep, who drives all over the country by himself and gets into high speed chases at night in the middle of nowhere Nebraska while hunting super shifty rando Maybes has had a run-in or two. Stay safe, Shep!

Every Pronoun Belongs Here [Trans Pride Flag background]: Also, super hard to see because the letters are too small to read. I found this exact pin in a basket by the register at my local bookshop. (Support local bookshops, people!) They were being sold as a fundraiser for a LGBTQ club at one of the high schools, and I loved the idea that I could help them raise money and add this pin to my own growing collection to show off my support for trans rights. (Support trans rights and trans people, people!) I decided to give Shepard this same pin, because I could imagine him having an almost identical book buying experience in a dozen other towns that he’s probably visited. And I love the simplicity of the message, because it’s one of belonging, which EVERYONE is desperately seeking, no matter who they are or how they identify, and Shepard, and every character in this picture, is no exception. (Plus, it seemed like a cool way to connect my pin collection with Shep’s. Maybe I should have mentioned the fact that I’m also a pin person at the beginning? I walk to work and on my lunch breaks, so I carry all of my stuff in a backpack. And I proudly display my random pin collection on my backpack. Including several Simon Snow-related pins.)

Don’t Panic: This was based off a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy pin. I don’t really know anything about the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (including if it’s okay to abbreviate it as HGG? THGTTG? whatever), even though I did watch the movie years back when it was on TV and I still lived with my parents who had a TV. But the sentiment felt appropriate, and Shepard is a sort of magickal hitchhiker. Apart from managing to hold down a job at Dick Blick, he appears to lead a somewhat nomadic lifestyle. He tells Penny, “the road is my teacher”, and if that’s not a hitchhiker slogan, I don’t know what is. (Ass, gas, or grass?)

Black Lives Matter: They do. Just sayin’.

Magic Troll Doll: When I was growing up, the Troll doll was all the (nightmare-inducing) rage. Trolls are one of those magickal creatures that are continually mentioned in the series. Shepard talks about lonely trolls under bridges. Simon talks about killing trolls. Agatha would rather kiss a troll. And Baz was kidnapped by numpties, who are sort of like trolls. I couldn’t not include a troll. And the Troll doll specifically felt perfect, because the full name was Magic Troll Doll. You can bet if Shepard had to pick a troll-related pin, it would be a magic(k)al one.

[Asshole]: This is another Kurt Vonnegut pin. It looks like a messily drawn asterisk (*), but it’s actually meant to be an asshole (taken from the preface of Vonnegut’s novel Breakfast of Champions, and drawn by Vonnegut himself). I just thought, why the fuck not? So, here. Have an asshole pin. (I should have put it on a buttonhole…)

HONOURABLE MENTION

Shepard’s Phone Case: Remember that line I quoted earlier, about Shep wanting to get a Vonnegut quote tattoo? Well, when I was trying to figure out what to put on his phone case, I thought that seemed like a reasonable place to start. So, I googled Vonnegut quotes, to see if I could find one that I thought Shepard would like. Here’s the quote: “a purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” I just loved that for Shepard.

#shepard #from omaha #hi im shepard #im from omaha nebraska #my art #headcanons #carry on fanart #simon snow series #carry on #wayward son #any way the wind blows #rainbow rowell #simon snow #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #agatha wellbelove #baz pitch #penny bunce #are not in this but i'm tagging them anyway #random british spellings for no reason #penelope bunce

[curious-minx]

Left Behind In The Halloween Parade: Late Review of Bob’s Burgers And The Simpsons.

The First Sunday of November, and the Last Sunday of the Trump and Biden election, found Hulu finally uploading the Bob’s Burgers and Simpsons Halloween episodes. So in the spirit of taking your sweet ass time that is exactly what I did with this review. The Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is probably the weakest of the series, a series that is practically a Hallmark card company in terms of the amount of holiday-inspired content they have churned out. Episode “Heartbreak Hotel-oween” isn’t a particularly offensive in any way it just fails to live up to Halloween episodes such as my personal favorites Season 8 “The Wolf of Wharf Street,” which remains one of the most visually stunning episodes of the series,  and  Season 4, the series’ second Halloween episode,“Fort Night,” which has incredibly gruesome stakes and the most satisfying entry in the Louise versus Millie feud. 

“Heartbreak Hotel-oween” is still ultimately pretty good and though it took a second viewing to fully appreciate it I do like watching the Belcher children deftly sail through the world of adults. The tantalizing plot thread of a Bob’s Burgers Delivery service is dangled and I would like to see more Delivery based plots. Getting these characters into different areas and expanding upon the ambitious Jersey shore town. Having the kids deliver a burger to an older woman using the burger as a lure for her seance is flattened against a brown and forgettable after thought of a hotel. Everything with the Belcher kids is good and interesting and with the help of Andy Daly voicing the Hotel Manager; Lindsey Stoddart doing Quarantine duty and voicing multiple characters including the old woman Dolores conducting the seance, and Loren Bouchard Home Movies collaborator Melissa Robbins stops by as a bystander character as well. 

The episode starts getting in its own way with the adults blood bank centric B-plot. The entire plot is given in a single exchange with Teddie being excited about donating blood and everyman Bob with his everyman  O-negative blood finds giving blood nauseating and gross. That’s it. That’s the whole plot and besides the blood banker workers being dressed up as vampires there are no other comedic games being played and it is total unmemorable fluff, which has been a common issue for the ongoing series. One thing this episode does right is at least get Bob, Linda and Teddie out of the restaurant and into a new environment. A lot of the verbal exchanges between Bob, Linda and Teddie feel a lot more stilted due to Covid recordings and the lack of non-scripted banter is sorely missed. I have noticed this season having more John H. Benjamin monologue Bob by himself moments, which only work when Bob’s imagination is in full flight. Where was the talking bag of Bob’s blood? Hell I wouldn’t even had objected to hearing a dang song sung by the vampires to help soothe Bob into giving blood or something beyond: Bob doesn’t like giving blood because it makes him woozy, he gives blood and get’s woozy. 

Overall this is a perfectly serviceable episode: three Ghost-baiting cheeseburgers out of five. 

////

Intermission. 

Fox is certainly using the Loren Bouchard & Molyneux sisters brand like a blood bag with the recent announcement of the new series The Great North. Wendy Molyneux is a frequent writer, (executive) story editor since Bob’s Burgers inception. She is the writer of  “The Wolf of Wharf Street” and the episode of Bob’s Burgers I have watched the most - “There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business,” because I am a cat fanatic, John Oliver fan, and have been the pet companion of a standard poodle exactly like Snoodle named Faust that I love dearly. Basically, I am excited for this show. Molyneux is also a deeply connected collaborator with Megan Mullally writing on all 74 episodes of Mullally’s forgotten by the ages The Megan Mullally Show. A show according to Wikipedia’s citation of Fox News, “viewers were disappointed to find out that Megan is not anything like Karen in real life,” and if there is any white woman out there that is an anti-Karen it is Mullally. Mullally is not the focus of the show but her more visible and commercially accessible husband Nick Offerman is finally being anointed into the annals of TV Dads. With his three sons voiced by Paul Rust, Will Forte and National Treasure Aparna Nancherla and sole daughter voiced by Bob’s Burgers alum Jenny Slate, who recently honorably stepped down from a lucrative tv series Big Mouth deal like the real champ that she is.  Mullally will show up as Jenny Slate’s character’s boss andThe cast is undeniable the backdrop of Alaska has a lot of promise for elaborate or interesting set pieces. I am ready for this show! Will this be Bob’s Burgers Futurama? That’s probably a vicious hex based on how Futurama was infamously jerked around by Fox. FOX has already given the show a promising two-season deal, which is already a lot better than what Netflix did for Tuca and Bertie. Faint nowhere discussions of the Bob’s Burgers movie were also mentioned in an interview with Bouchard who has a cantankerous “theater release only” policy, which bums out a little, but I would much prefer they take as long as possible. The Bob’s Burgers movie cannot end up carrying out the Simpson movie curse.

/////

I am no Simsons scholar. I could not give you an active ranking of favorite Tree House of Horror episodes. I could tell you that I really like Bart as an Edgar Allen Poe’s Raven. You don’t need to be Simpsons scholar to safely state that “Treehouse of Horror XXXI” should be ashamed to show its “funny face.” For starters the entire appeal of the anthology style of storytelling has been completely deflated by having two of the previous episodes in this season being gimmicky non-standard episodes. The only positive thing I can say about this episode is that it is an important teaching tool for what the most broken and shittiest, laziest satire imaginable would look like and the 2020 Election cold opening is actually pretty solid. All of the good will earned by the strong opening is completely squandered starting with an inexplicably CGI Toys Story sketch. I am assuming the animation department went with CGI because the source material is CGI. The CGI is really bad and makes me really miss the 3D models of Simpsons Hit And Run and perfectly charming The Simpsons Game. Instead this sketch’s particular animation looks like the animators were most inspired not by Pixar’s clean and craftsmen like CGI models but were going for more of a Fanboy & Chum Chum look. A Toy’s Story parody in this day and age is asinine in its laziness, but it’s still an evergreen territory. A good Toy’s Story parody is possible, but simply having Bart play out the role of Toy Story’s Sid except he gets lobotomized by his own toys. I did appreciate the writer’s making the explicit moral of the story to not buy toys, which for a Disney product like the Simpsons is pretty rich. 

Behold! The last recorded instance of a quality Toys Story satire from China, IL

The next two parodies go down slightly better simply because they aren’t sporting that eye bleeding animation but paying homage to Enter The Spider-verse and Russian Doll/Happy Death Day 2U in 2020 feels just as dated as Toy Story. What kind of fool is still writing about Russian Doll in 2020? The Enter the Homer-verse sketch is at least ambitious and showcases how masturbatory  the show has come whenever it is showcasing Dan Castellaneta’s various vocal talents. I get it dude, you like having dump trucks of money given to you for barely making an effort and doing Hannah Barbara impersonations that sound more like a bad Woody Allen. Regardless, this is still the one sketch that makes the most attempt to have comedic games with its multiple iterations of Homer and even throwing out some alternative universe Burns and Smithers for good measure. The final third Russian Doll sketch that let’s you know that this sketch is more Russian Doll than Happy Death Day by using the same exact Harry Nilsson “Gotta Get Up”  piano riff. This sketch had potential but once again the show writers and creatives seem to only indulge the worst possible instincts and cast Lisa as the lead of the sketch. So that means we get to watch this 8 soon-to-be 9 year old girl and fellow child Nelson get murdered in a variety of banal and brutal ways, and it’s just not fun or pleasant to watch. The obvious choice is an unexpected Springfield resident and if it has to be a Simpson having Marge or one of her sisters be the Nadia surrogate makes far more logical sense and Marge’s birthday would carry more emotional weight. 

Reminder to myself to check out this lost late series entry where Natasha Lyonne is the voice of Krusty’s daughter. 

I completely understand why The AV Club canceled their coverage of The Simpsons. The whole series has a very masochistic and sadistic pull and tug between creatives and fans. The sweet and simple souls of Den of Geek are still reviewing the Simpsons and offer a far more favorable review: https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/the-simpsons-season-32-episode-4-review-treehouse-of-horror-xxxi/.  Google results also yield one another publication reviewing this current season published on medium that has been taken by for violating medium rules. Will the Simpsons be coming for me next? 

Skip this episode! Judging by the synopsis of the season’s next ep finding the Simpsons, once again, finding themselves somewhere other than Springfield is looking to be another skippable entry. I want to be proven wrong! The latter day Simpsons seasons usually have a memorable or decent episode here or there. So far the only thing remarkable about this season is how much it wants to try to be different and think outside of the Springfield box but in the process give the season an overwhelming sense of hollowness. I shall forge ahead with my coverage, because I am either a masochist or a sadist depending on the weather. 

#The Simpsons #Bob's Burgers #TV series #tv review #Halloween #megan mullally #nick offerman #will forte #Paul rust #aparna nancherla #Andy daly #Natasha lyonne #toys story #spiderverse #russian doll #The Great North

[charlies-crashcourses]

Charlie’s College Crash Course #1: How to write a 10-page paper in 1 day

Background info first: I’m in the last year of my English undergrad degree and I’ve had to write at least 3 dozen 10+ page papers in that time. That being said, I’ve never once started writing a paper more than a few days in advance, and 9 times out of 10 I go for one day only. Honestly, this should be considered my trademark at this point because after all my high school AP courses and my English degree, it’s been going on 7 years of 1 day papers.

and so, dear friends, I would like to pass on this skill to you all. I should mention, none of this will work if you’re not already pretty solid on paper writing, i.e. if you only ever get C’s on your papers now this isn’t magically going to get you up to an A with one day. This is just to streamline the process, allowing for more time for other things or, more commonly, allowing you to not freak the fuck out when you realize the deadline is tonight at midnight and you’ve procrastinated all month on the final paper for your class.

(I should also mention that I’m currently procrastinating a 2.5k word paper due tomorrow night that I’ve only read one of two books for, so. There’s that.)

Anyway, without further ado, here we fucking go:

Step 1: Prep for the Day

this is going to be a marathon, not a sprint, so make sure you prep the day accordingly. Ideally, you’d wake up before noon, make sure there’s nothing else planned for the day, and tell your roommates/parents to leave you alone until you officially reemerge at midnight (or, if you’re in college and have a 24 hr library, try going there. Mine has closed off study rooms that I can chill in, but if you’rs doesn’t just find a relatively comfy quiet spot). If you’re at home, pick one spot, clear it off super quick, grab some snacks and energy drinks, make sure you have everything charged and ready to go. I don’t recommend cafes or the like simply because there’s lots of distractions and also those places close before midnight, so you can’t stay there the entire time and therefor waste time moving halfway through.

Also, I would recommend taking a break between all the steps after this one. Don’t let the break take too long, but just long enough to walk the block, or grab another snack, or do some stretches, or watch a ten minute video, something like that. I personally never break at a natural stopping point, because then I’ll never get back to it, but how you break is up to you.

Step 2: Preliminary Research

now normally I do some preliminary research beforehand. Basically looking into the topic, figuring out generally what resources would be best, etc. That can usually be done in five to ten minute bursts throughout the week or so before the due date, whenever the topic comes to mind.

But then again, I’ve also procrastinated that until the very end as well, so. Usually all that takes if you go for the day of is some quick google scholar searches, or if you have access to the MLA database that works as well. Or, if you’re more like me, you could just deep dive on wikipedia and check out what relevant facts pertain to what numbers in the bibliography, then go ahead and cite those wherever possible.

Basically, get a good base knowledge of the big facts. This step should be quick and dirty. For instance, for my paper my sophomore year on Robespierre (14 pages written in a record 6 hours) I combed through his wiki, some websites on the French Revolution, and watched the Crash Course youtbue video on the subject. The rest of the research was done after I did my first outline. 

Step 3: Outline #1

This is just a basic “What the fuck am I talking about” outline. It can be bullet points, numbers, stream of consciousness, i don’t care as long as it works for you. 

For the Robespierre paper, my first outline was something to the effect of: -born poor -school -elected to govt -took over govt -killed people -got killed

and that was it. It’s like, before you build a house you have to clear off the right amount of land, make sure there’s nothing in your way, and give yourself a vague area in which to build. Super simple stuff.

I did get some advice, from somewhere I can’t remember, that a paragraph is basically equal to half a page, and so (excluding one page length for your intro + conclusion) you should have around two paragraphs or ideas per page. So my outline above would need some more points, there, to keep me on track for my page count. I eventually added a whole paragraph about how he was chosen to read for a visiting King Louis at his school and was then ignored which made him hate the monarchy, and another about what happened after he died what with the government in shambles, etc etc. So two bullet points per page should do it.

Step 4: More Research

This is where you get a little more in depth. Look at your bullet points and learn everything you need to about them. 

For my first bullet, I found stuff like: “Robespierre was born in France in 1758 as Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre (the third of this name), to a lawyer and the daughter of a brewer, he had two siblings, and he could read by age eight. he also loved pigeons and started a lifelong feud with his sister over one that he gave her that she let die."

and then I would move on to the next bullet point, and so on and so forth, filling in the gaps. Make sure to keep track of where your info comes from, as well. It doesn’t have to be a full citation, but just the hyperlink after the fact is going to save you so much time, i promise

Pro Tip: don’t throw out anything as irrelevant just yet. Just gather all the facts, no judging. Trust me on this.

Step 5: Better Outline

this is where you start to have fun with it. I would like to remind you that no one, unless you have some crazy micromanaging professor, sees your outlines. This is for you and you only, so write it in whatever way makes sense to you. It can be colorful and fun and whatever you need it to be.

 I actually took screenshots of my outline for that robespierre paper (hence why i chose that one as an example) so here’s a look at what I do:

so, really, honestly, as shitty as you need this to be, or as many jokes, or whatever works for you my dude. Explain it like you would if it were a story you were telling, not a biographical/argumentative paper. Get informal with it.

Step 6: Write the Damn Thing

Okay to now that you did the research and wrote your fun outlines and all that, all you have to do now is write it! I tend to do this in the same doc as I do my outline, but starting again from the top so I can see what I need to add next right under where I’m typing, then delete it once I’ve covered the material. 

If you did your outline well, this is really just cleaning that up so it’s “school appropriate” and “not an affront to people’s eyes and sensibilities” or whatever. At this point, it should go super quick, maybe 2 hours max to finish up writing what you need to write, here.

Pro Tip: do your citations as you go. Better yet, make your bibliography first so that A its already done and B you know what your in text cites will be from the start so that you don’t have to add them in later. If you kept your hyperlinks next to your research, just open up citationmachine and get those cites, then replace the links in your outline with the actual citations so it’s easier to line them up with in text cites while you go

Step 7: Fudging

oh, you thought we were done after writing the paper? nah fam. Chances are, you didn’t hit the page count you wanted to, you’re probably around 1 full page short, unless you love long sentences. This is where my pro tip from all the way back on step 4 comes in.

First, before you do anything drastic, make sure your formatting is correct. If your prof wants the big long “name, date, class, assignment, etc” in the top left then that adds a lot of length. Fonts will also change your page length, and so will footnotes and citations.

If you did it right and saved all the less relevant details, congratulations! Just sprinkle a few of those in there and you’re magically at your page count. This is the only reason I included the pigeon story in my paper (and this post), because I was about 3/4 of a page short of passably saying I got to 14.

If you didn’t save those inane details, don’t go looking for them now. Trust me, it’s much more pain than it’s worth. Your best bet, then, would be to either A. Add one more point if you can think one up, B. do some more research for relevant details to add in, or C. expand on the details you already have with more examples or effects or whatever applies.

do not, i repeat do NOT, just try and expand the words you use, like changing “to” into “in order to” or whatever those deflate your phrases charts tell you Not to do. They tell you not to for a reason. 1. it sounds stupid adding them in after the fact, and 2. your professor absolutely 100% will know and will mark you down if you do that in excess. Inflated phrase charts like that are well known by professors, and also adding them in after the fact won’t fit in at all with the voice that the rest of your paper was written in, so it’ll stand out like a sore thumb. just don’t do it unless it’s your last possible “i have ten minutes to turn this in” effort.

Step 8: Celebrate!!

And that’s it! If you did it right, this whole process should have taken you around the equivalent of 1 hour per page you had to write or so, so in a regular twelve hour day you’ve got time to take breaks and eat and all that shit. Go turn it in and celebrate your victory!

#study tips #adhd studying #paper writing #don't procrastinate kids #crash course #charlie's college crash course

[tender-history]

Fic Plotting 101: How I Start from an Idea.

Hullo, hi, welcome! It’s Plotting 101 with Dee: Part One!

 Before we get started, here’s why I made this post:

 1) I get a lot of CCs asking how to approach plotting, pacing and especially story flow, and I wanted to link them all to something useful,

2) I see a lot of people wanting to write plot but unsure how to approach it because it can be overwhelming,

3) Google Searching ‘how to plot’ can be EXTREMELY scary.

 Let’s take Number 3 first. If you’re going to Google ‘how to plot’, you’re going to end up with advice on everything ranging from ‘don’t plot’ to six sheet spreadsheets with fifty columns each that wants you to put down everything from your character’s eye color to what exactly they think of instant noodles. You’ll end up with diagrams, beat sheets, templates, storyboards, and find guides that range from six-step plotting techniques to fifty-steps. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t follow that method - sometimes, if you’re a person who likes character design and questionnaires a lot, you’ll love that method. But I’m not like that, and a lot of writers I know aren’t like that either. There’s nothing I hate more than some spreadsheet asking me my character’s weight and height. And if you go down that road, chances are that you’ll just go down the rabbit hole of intricately designing your characters and settings for AGES instead of actually writing anything at all.

 So - if not through spreadsheets or beat-sheets, how DO you plot?

 If you ask me, the best plotting method is to do WHAT WORKS FOR YOU.

 How do you find what works for you? You try things. I tried many different ways of plotting before I decided what worked for me. So this is going to be less a guide on how to plot and more an explanation of the ways I plot, with the hope that maybe you can find something in here to help you.

 > For me, step ONE is the IDEA.

 This is your big shiny nugget. Your driving force. This is EXTREMELY important, because no one idea is equal to another.  Some ideas are better, because they can help you do something unique, something only you can do, which makes you stand out. For the sake of demonstrating this whole thing, let’s take The Tender History of Tides. Tender History lived on my Ideas folder in my Notes app for months before I began writing it. This was my one-line quick jot-down: ‘what if I wrote non-royalty historical fantasy set in Joseon Korea?’

 Done before? Yeah. Can be done in a unique way? Heck yeah.

 Your idea is very very important because it’s the axis on which you’ll pivot your entire plot. It’ll grow and develop and change if you just give it some thought.

 So, plotting suggestion #1 right here: Keep an Ideas folder. You WILL forget your idea, however shiny it is. Keeping it all in one place helps in more than one way: 1) You know it won’t disappear from your mind, 2) Sometimes ideas can overlap, come together, and turn into a whole new story.

 For Tender History, the historical fantasy set in Joseon Korea idea very, very quickly merged with another idea I’d had: taegi dark-fic with sea-monster Tae and monster-hunter Yoongi. They were disparate thoughts, things I thought of at different times, things I then put together to create something more unique than what they would have been individually.

 I often generate ideas this way. I’ll consult my Ideas folder for thoughts I’ve had in the past, then see if they can be combined with something else to make a better shiny.

 Few examples:

 1) vhope magic shop au + but what if the whole thing is set in a game arcade?

2) taegi vampire au + but what if this was set in the fashion world?

3) vmin library au + but what if they went to a magical school?

 Combination is one way of idea generation. Other ways of idea generation that I sometimes use:

 > Use images. Go on Pinterest, check out some aesthetics, let your imagination run wild.

> Use online prompters. There are so many prompt generators floating around! For Fantasy, I use Seventh Sanctum sometimes (they have hundreds of different sort of prompt generators, and some are really good if you’re stuck on banal things like naming, or a quick character design). For fan fiction, there are prompt bots on Twitter. You can even google writing prompts, there are several websites that offer one per day, which you can then use to kick start your imagination.

 > Now you have your idea. Step TWO, for me, is developing the idea.

 This is the step where you can really stand out in the crowd when it comes to plotting. It’s great having a unique idea, but this is the part where you flesh it out.

 Here’s how I do that:

> Scribble down a skeleton of what you think the story will be: In my case, for this Taegi fic, the skeleton looked something like this:

taegi, yoongi is a detective, tae is a supernatural being of some sort, setting is joseon korea, time period is (???), wintry, monsters and murders, dark, atmospheric, there’s a romance and it’s both soft and dangerous, side: noble seokjin, scholar namjoon, doctor jimin (?). they’re in a village and there are these murders and everyone is keeping secrets. 

This, as you see, is a ramble. It’s just whatever’s in my head, being committed to paper. Now, plotting is WORK. Putting what’s up there - that ramble, that mess of ideas - into a functioning, well-paced, structured, organized plot requires you to put work into it. It’s not easy. But it’s a lot of fun. And when it starts coming together, you really feel very good about your writing and your story!

So, moving on to the actual work now:

> Write a 250 word pitch of the story. Organize your ramble into something coherent, meaningful and easy to absorb. Imagine that this is exactly like the back blurb on a book. The back blurb on a book is meant to entice you to read it. IF it’s enticing enough for you to read, then you can imagine that it might be enticing to a reader. But first - you have to make it enticing for YOU. As the writer, YOU have to feel like, ok, this is gonna be a killer story if I tackle it.

 The objective of this pitch is two-fold:

1) You have to be able to tell three things from it: the idea, the characters, and the main conflict.

2) A complete STRANGER - i.e., someone who has no idea about your story - should be able to look at this pitch and tell what exactly the story is about.

 I can’t stress the importance of this step. Often times, it’s not until you force yourself to explain your plot in 250 words that you find possible issues with it.

 Here’s how I explained Tender History in 250 words or less:

 “In late 1700s Joseon Korea, a string of strange murders sends Inspector Kim Seokjin to a frozen northern province. Accompanying him is Min Yoongi, once a scholar of the supernatural, now an indentured laborer until a debt for his crimes against the palace can be paid. Quickly taking on eccentric artist Kim Taehyung as his assistant, Yoongi sets out to find the monster that’s terrorizing the land. But there’s more to both the icy lakes and the people here. More to Taehyung and his unflinching ease at drawing scenes of death. Yoongi just needs to figure out what.”

 Note a couple of things here.

A) You as the writer knows who the important characters are, because they are named.

B) You know the setting: 1700s, Joseon Korea, icy, winter.

C) You know the characterization and how they play into this world: inspector Seokjin, indentured worker Yoongi, artist Taehyung.

D) You know the conflict: murders, monsters, secrets.

E) You ALSO, if you look deeply enough, know the inner character conflict - Yoongi has debts, he has no free will until he pays them.

 If I show this to you, a stranger, you should ALSO be able to glean these basic details from this 250 word pitch.

 It’s not easy. It just looks easy. I spent hours putting this down in a way that was completely right: precise, simple, yet very explanatory. This pitch will force you to confront what is the story, its actual plot and actual characters, and what is only set dressing. You can’t ramble about it anymore for hours. You can’t have a bunch of disconnected ideas anymore. You HAVE to fit it into something concise, something easily absorbed - not just by you, but by a reader who can’t see into your mind. 

You will also know, by putting this down, if the characters aren’t developed enough inside your head. Because why would anyone go to a wintry frozen land to catch a monster? You can’t answer that unless you know, by forcing your thoughts into coherency, that oh, Yoongi has no real free-will here.

 > Step THREE, marry external and internal conflict.

 Or this is step 1.5, actually. You cannot plot a story without both external and internal conflict. Or, you can, but then you won’t touch your readers as much as you would want to.

 What do I mean by this?

 Your external conflict is something that exists outside of your characters - your regular villain, say. This is your Darth Vader, your Voldemort, your Capitol.

 Your internal conflict is what your character feels. This is HARDER. In Hunger Games, Katniss ponders and combats her own ruthlessness. In Harry Potter, Harry’s desire to fit into the world and live a normal life continuously contrasts with his own fame and the symbol of hope he becomes.

 In Tender History, my external conflict is very fancy: murder, monsters, scary villages, etc. Internal conflict is a lot less so: Yoongi in this fic continuously has to wrestle with feelings of guilt and unfairness, with wanting to do good but feeling too burned by the system. If you’ve read Murmuration, the external conflict is the Scarab, but the internal conflict is their own ambition, their guilt over what they had to do to survive, their (terrifying) loyalty to each other.

 Internal conflict is where you find your character voice. If I’d set Tender History Yoongi in a celebrated position at his job, he’d be a much different character. His voice would be much different. He has power! He has resources! Versus this Yoongi, who has nothing, and hence has to trust the people he’s allowed to work with to tell him the truth.

 Think of it like peeling the layers:

 1) The Idea,

2) Develop the Idea,

3) Fill in the External Conflict,

4) Fill in the Internal Conflict.

 I have a few major rules I follow at this point of plotting. They’re like this:

 1) Are these the right characters for my story? - This means I do a round of thinking about whether these people are the perfect vehicle to tell this story I want to tell. Great, I want to tell a story about wintry Joseon Korea, and monster-fighting. But. Is indentured-worker Yoongi the best person to carry this? What if I make him a village leader instead? What if he’s a runaway prince? What if he’s the monster? Depending on what you want your story to be, you have to think of your character to fit the telling. In Romance of Old Clothes, I chose Tae POV for the whole thing because I wanted to illustrate his reading of people vs. other people’s reading of him. Taehyung’s internal conflict in that fic was that he lies to himself extensively. He’s got this idea of who he is, which is untrue, which is then broken down in a climactic moment. He’s my perfect character to tell that story, because of his obliviousness. Similarly, in Tender History, Yoongi’s the perfect character to tell this story, because of who he is in society, his internal troubles, and his monster-hunting experience.

 2)What are some details I would add to this world? - I have a basic idea of the conflict, the world, and the characters now. This is where I take out a chart or a notebook and get to work. I do this like a mindmap: I jot down anything I can think of - say, okay, Joseon Korea: food, art, paintings, caste system, civil examinations, scholars, winter, roads, Confucianism, shrines, religion, music, monsters, gender roles. Then I begin detailing it. ‘Food’ for example: royals eat different food from commoners eat different food from untouchable castes or peasants. Summer food is different from spring food is different from winter food. When I read about food for this fic, I read about the ‘barley gap’ or the gap between barley and rice cultivation during winter. People historically starved during this time. If my story is set in winter, this is an important detail.

 Let’s take something more contemporary. I’m writing about a vintage clothes store. Details I would need - clothes, brands, size of the shop, layout of the shop, how do they procure clothes, how do they test authenticity, what are their customers like, who do they interact with, where is their shop in the city, what does being in that locality mean, what seasons are busy for them.

 A mindmap is just a page full of words, questions, things you know, things you don’t know. Filling it up is the next major step.

 3) What is character development going to be? - This is very important. Okay, you have an external and internal conflict. Now, start of the story being point A, and end being point B, what exactly is A and B for my character? What do I want them to become? In Romance of Old Clothes, Taehyung at Point A is lying to himself about his own nature. By Point B, he’s able to identify that he needs to let people in, open up more. In Wonder Woman, Diana at the beginning of the story is rather naive, believing that if only she could destroy the God of War, the whole war will end. By the end, she understands and admits that things are not that black and white - that people sometimes fight wars because they want to, not due to some external influence.

 You have to know this to continue.

 Step 4, in how I plot, is to put down a starting scene, a few story beats, and the rough idea of an ending.

  But I’ll get into that - and more, including pacing - in Series 2 of this series of posts! Please let me know here or on twitter if these are helpful, or if I’m just rambling too much.

Since I am now struggling a lot to balance writing with work, and if you want to help me keep on writing posts like this, please consider donating to my ko-fi.

I also made a post on how I world-build, the tools and templates I use for the same: it’s over here!

 https://tender-history.tumblr.com/post/185910085044/on-research-worldbuilding-and-culture

#writing #world-building #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #mine #.research #.resources