#I have no idea of the validity of the existence of this deleted/planned scene

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

I think not using canon movesets, but still using moves the Pokémon can theoretically learn, is 100% valid. One reason I liked that in pla you can rotate your move pool at any given time (except for in battle) is because your Pokémon learned the move, they should still know how to use that move, you know? Maybe it could be explained as there being modern battle culture norms that limit a person to using only 4 moves per battle or something, to make things more fair or to make competitive scenes more challenging by locking trainers into a single moveset, but theoretically they should just be able to use whatever they've been taught

YES the ease of switching out in pla is also why i feel it is mostly defensible as a choice for narrative. like. the -eons can learn these moves, they just happen to not be using them in battle against you the player in-game. it's legal. you'll never catch me

the question of "why only 4 moves per pokemon and why can't you rotate them in modern games" IS REALLY INTERESTING THOUGH. moves almost feel like more of a contrivance inworld, like, they're just the names people give to these certain applications of a pokemon's power. they're more like certain techniques or strategies, i guess? and maybe the list of usable moves is more a representation of, like, how many of these techniques the pokemon can hold in their head at once. (maybe that's why early pla battles only have 3 moves per pokemon lol: the pokemon aren't the stopgap but the trainers are, they can't remember more than 3 at once very well.) it does seem like limiting yourselves to a small number of all the strategies you know per battle would make it easier to plan and adapt on the fly, since you're choosing from a much smaller pool of available options. 4 just happens to be the generally agreed-upon number.

but then you've got the move reminders who's sort of a wrench in this idea? maybe they're more of a gameplay shortcut themselves, cutting out the process of yourself reminding/remembering all these moves. but then re: modern games and move reminding/moveset limitations: scarvi uses PLA's system! you can just switch them out all willy nilly! i wonder if that's explained by the fact that you're a student on a student track, so the regulations around remembering are a little softer? or is it a cultural thing, where some regions have deleters/reminders and others don't? or is this just, like i said, a thing that's always existed in universe, but the deleters are a shortcut. maybe the reason the scarvi protag can do it is because they're actually a student in a pokemon school so they learned how to retrain old moves and the other protags didn't lmao

#the nemesis speaks #the nemesis answers #anonymous #pla analysis #AUGH NOW YOU'VE GOT ME THINKING #i think it's somewhere between ''this is just a contrived strategy name'' and ''moves are actually physically distinct concepts'' #like. it's a gradient btwn the two. they're defined but they're flexible? if that makes sense? #since in the anime battles you CAN use the moves under the same name for a variety of applications. like prehensile vine whip etc #ALSO this opens up in my mind the possibility of trainers and partners coming up with new strategies -> *new moves* #which... really i think ingo and emmet in a couple of my fics have already done. actually. depending on how you want to look at it

[bluebxlle-writer]

Writing as a Panster

masterlist. main navigation.

@blubexlle_writer on Instagram

1. Being prepared

Ironically, you need to be more prepared as a pantser compared to a plotter, because you won't have a detailed outline to come back to if you didn't have enough planning done. As a plantser, you need to know the general things of your WIP - How it starts, how the conflict begins and who/what it is, who your characters are, when the climax happens, dialogue and scene ideas, ships, characters, how the book ends, etc.

2. Characters & development

Besides the general plot, you also need to have an idea about your characters and their development. You don't have to create a detailed outline with plot points about your characters' arcs, but you need to at least know the general things - what kind of person they were before the arc, what triggered their development, who motivated them to change, and so on.

I recommend still making character sheets to annotate their appearances and such, because you're bound to forget them after a while, especially for minor characters.

3. Take down notes

Being a writer comes in a package with getting amazing ideas at the most random times. Plotters will furiously type in their ideas in their outline, but what about pantsers? You won't be able to do this.

That's why you need to keep a notebook with you, so that you can jot down random ideas whenever you get them and not forget any. It doesn't have to be neat or organized, but it has to exist.

4. Unnecessary scenes

Plotters will know all their WIP scenes in detail thanks to their outline, but that's not the case with pantsers. They will write scenes on instinct, based on their present ideas, without knowing if the scenes will make it to the last draft.

This might be hard, but be prepared to delete tons of unecessary scenes from your manuscript once you're in the revising stage. But this doesn't mean you need to be scared of what you write! Go write whatever comes to mind. It's better to delete an unecessary scene rather than not writing a potentially amazing scene.

5. Overwriter or underwriter?

As a pantser, it won't be easy to predict your WIP's end word count, although you already have a goal in mind. If you don't monitor your writing with an outline, you might end up writing too little or much.

To prevent this, know if you're an underwriter or an overwriter. If you're an underwriter, try to write more by adding more subplots or editing your descriptions and dialogues into longer ones. If you're an overwriter, limit your writing by avoiding scenes that serve no purpose to the plot or using shorter descriptions.

6. Zero drafts

With loads of unplotted aspects of your WIP, such as dialogues, scenes, and plot twists, you're bound to need multiple drafts before you finish your manuscript. Your first draft will most likely just be a compilation of your initial thoughts that stull need to be organized.

My advice is to have a zero draft - a draft that blocks the major beats in each scene - where you just need to write all of your thoughts and ideas. This way, you won't be pressured to write too much.

7. Y'all are valid!

Lots of people claim that panters aren't valid - that writers can only be plotters, because you need to know everything about your story before you start it.

This isn't true. Pantsers are completely valid and amazing! By pantsing, your characters will make more realistic decisions and have more natural dialogue, because you came up with them on the spot. You're also more likely to be creative by being a pantser! <3

#writing #writing tip #writingquestionsanswered #writing reference #writing resource #writing research #writing things #writers on tumblr #writerblr #writer blog #writing resources #writing advice

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Would love to hear about your beefs with Lucas because I have beefs with Lucas

(Sorry it took me three thousand years to answer this, anon.)

They mainly fall under a few headings, with the third being the most serious and the thing that I am genuinely irl furious about at least biannually (and feeling unable to adequately sum up The Problem with it after yelling about it so often is a huge part of why this post has been in my drafts for such a long time):

1. His self-mythologising and the subsequent uncritical repetition of his bullshit in the fandom. Obvious lies like that he had some master plan for 10 films when it’s clear he did not have anything like a plot outline at any point. We all know the thing was written at the seat of various people’s pants, it’s blatantly self-evident that’s the case. There’s also plenty of public record about how the OT was written. Even dumber, more obvious lies, like that Anakin was ‘always the protagonist’ and the entire 6 films were his story from the beginning. This is preposterous and every time someone brings it up (usually with palpable smugness) as fanboys ‘not understanding star wars’ because they don't get that ‘the OT is not Luke's story’... Yeah, I just... I cannot.

Vader wasn’t Anakin Skywalker until ESB, it’s a retcon. It’s a brilliant retcon and it works perfectly, it elevated SW into something timeless and special it otherwise would not have been, but you can tell it wasn’t the original plan and there’s proof it wasn’t the original plan. Let’s not pretend. And Luke is the protagonist. No amount of waffling about such esoteric flights of theory as ‘ring structure’ is going to get away from the rigidly orthodox narrative and the indisputable fact that it is Luke’s hero’s journey. Vader’s redemption isn’t about his character development (he has almost none) and has no basis in any kind of convincing psychological reality for his character, but it doesn’t need to be because it’s part of Luke’s arc, because Vader is entirely a foil in Luke’s story. It’s a coming-of-age myth about confronting and growing beyond the father.

All attempts to de-centre Luke in RotJ just break the OT’s narrative logic. It’s a character-driven story and the character driving is Luke. Trying to read it as Anakin’s victory, the moral culmination of his choices rather than Luke’s and putting all the agency into Anakin’s hands just destroys the trilogy’s coherence and ignores most of its content in favour of appropriating a handful of scenes into an arc existing only in the prequels. The dilemma of RotJ is how Luke will define ethical adulthood after learning and growing through two previous films worth of challenge, education, failure, and triumph; it’s his choice to love his father and throw down his sword which answers the question the entire story has been asking. Vader’s redemption and the restoration of the galaxy are the consequences of that choice which tell us what kind of world we’re in, but the major dramatic conflict was resolved by Luke’s decision not the response to it.

And, just all over, the idea of Lucas as an infallible auteur is inaccurate and annoying to me. Obviously he’s a tremendous creative force and we wouldn’t have sw without him, but he didn’t create it alone or out of whole cloth. The OT was a very collaborative effort and that’s why it’s what it is and the prequels are what they are. Speaking of which.

2. The hubris of the prequels in general and all the damage their many terrible, protected-from-editors choices do to the symbolic fabric of the sw universe. Midicholrians, Yoda fighting with a lightsabre, Obi-wan as Anakin's surrogate father instead of his peer, incoherent and unmotivated character arcs, the laundry list of serious and meaningful continuity errors, the bad storytelling, the bad direction, the bad characterisation, the shallowness of the parallels which undermine the OT’s imagery, the very clumsy and contradictory way the A/P romance was handled, the weird attitude to romance in general, it goeth on. I don’t want to re-litigate the entire PT here and I’m not going to, but they are both bad as films and bad as prequels. The main idea of them, to add Anakin’s pov and create an actual arc for him as well as to flesh out the themes of compassion and redemption, was totally appropriate. The concept works as a narrative unit, there are lots of powerful thematic elements they introduce, they have a lot of cool building blocks, it’s only in execution and detail that they do a bunch of irreparable harm.

But the constant refrain that only ageing fanboys don’t like them and they only don’t like them because of their themes or because they humanise Anakin... can we not. The shoddy film making in the prequels is an objective fact. If you want to overlook the bad parts for the good or prioritise ideas over technique, that’s fine, but don’t sit here and tell me they’re masterworks of cinema there can be no valid reason to criticise. I was the exact right age for them when I saw them, I am fully on board with the fairy tale nature of sw, I am fully on board with humanising Anakin- the prequels just have a lot of very big problems with a) their scripts and b) their direction, especially of dialogue scenes. If Lucas had acknowledged his limitations like he did back in the day instead of believing his own press, he could have again had the help he obviously needed instead of embarrassing himself.

3. Killing and suppressing the original original trilogy. I consider the fact that the actual original films are not currently available in any form, have never been available in an archival format, and have not been presented in acceptable quality since the VHS release a very troubling case study in the problems of corporate-owned art. LF seizing prints of the films whenever they are shown, destroying the in-camera negatives to make the special editions with no plans to restore them, and doing all in the company’s considerable power to suppress the original versions is something I consider an act of cultural vandalism. The OT defined a whole generation of Hollywood. It had a global impact on popular entertainment. ANH is considered so historically significant it was one of the first films added to the US Library of Congress (Lucas refused to provide even them with a print of the theatrical release, so they made their own viewable scan from the 70s copyright submission).

The fact that the films which made that impact cannot be legally accessed by the public is offensive to me. The fact that Lucas has seen fit to dub over or composite out entire performances (deleting certain actors from the films), to dramatically alter the composition of shots chosen by the original directors, to radically change the entire stylistic tone by completely reinventing the films’ colour timing in attempt to make them match the plasticy palate of the prequels, to shoot new scenes for movies he DID NOT DIRECT, add entire sequences or re-edit existing sequences to the point of being unrecognisable etc. etc. is NOT OKAY WITH ME when he insists that his versions be the ONLY ones available.

I’m okay with the Special Editions existing, though I think they’re mostly... not good... but I’m not okay with them replacing the original films. And all people can say is ‘well, they’re his movies’.

Lucas may have clear legal ownership in the capitalistic sense, but in no way does he have clear artistic ownership. Forget the fans, I’m not one of those people who argue the fans are owed something: A film is always a collaborative exercise and almost never can it be said that the end product is the ultimate responsibility and possession of one person. Even the auteur directors aren't the sole creative vision, even a triple threat like Orson Welles still had cinematographers and production designers, etc. Hundreds of artists work on films. Neither a writer nor a director (nor one person who is both) is The Artist behind a film the way a novelist is The Artist behind a novel. And Lucas did NOT write the screenplays for or direct ESB or RotJ. So in what sense does he have a moral right to alter those films from what the people primarily involved in making them deemed the final product? In what sense would he have the right to make a years-later revision the ONLY version even if he WERE the director?

Then you get into the issue of the immeasurable cultural impact those films had in their original form and the imperative to preserve something that is defining to the history of film and the state of the zeitgeist. I don't think there is any ‘fan entitlement’ involved in saying the originals belonged to the world after being part of its consciousness for decades and it is doing violence to the artistic record to try to erase the films which actually occupied that space. It's exactly like trying to replace every copy of It's a Wonderful Life with a colourised version (well, it's worse but still), and that was something Lucas himself railed against. It’s like if Michaelangelo were miraculously resuscitated and he decided to repaint the Sistine Ceiling to add a gunfight and change his style to something contemporary.

I get genuinely very upset at the cold reality that generations of people are watching sw for the first time and it’s the fucking SE-except-worse they’re seeing. And as fewer people keep physical media and the US corporate oligarchy continues to perform censorship and rewrite history on its streaming services unchecked by any kind of public welfare concerns, you’ll see more and more ‘real Mandela effect’ type shit where the cultural record has suddenly ‘always’ been in line with whatever they want it to be just now. And US media continues to infect us all with its insidious ubiquity. I think misrepresenting and censoring the past is an objectively bad thing and we can’t learn from things we pretend never happened, but apparently not many people are worried about handing the keys to our collective experience to Disney and Amazon.

4. The ‘Jedi don’t marry’ thing and how he wanted this to continue with Luke post-RotJ, so it’s obviously not meant to be part of what was wrong with the order in the prequels. I find this... incoherent on a storytelling level. The moral of the anidala story then indeed becomes just plain ‘romantic love is bad and will make you crazy’, rather than the charitable reading of the prequels which I ascribe to, which is that the problem isn’t Anakin’s love for Padmé, it’s that he ceased to love her and began to covet her. And I can’t help but feel this attitude is maybe an expression of GL’s issues with women following his divorce. I don’t remember if there’s evidence to contradict that take, since it’s been some time since I read about this but yeah. ANH absolutely does sow seeds for possible Luke/Leia development and GL was still married while working on that film. Subsequently he was dead set against Luke ever having a relationship and decided Jedi could not marry. Coincidence?

There’s a lot of blinking red ‘issues with women’ warning signs all over Lucas’s work, but the prequels are really... egregious.

#sw #salt #more unhinged rambling #anyway dowload the despecialised editions #unsubscribe from Disney+ #be free #usually we'd be having a big family thing for Boxing Day but you know #so God bless us all at home separately #I hope everyone had as happy a Christmas as possible in keeping with the situation #I should see if I can drag my brother outside to build a snowman

[ohthethingswedoforlove]

Yandere!GLaDOS and Yandere!Wheatley headcanons

Author’s note: Recently, I’ve been watching a let’s play of this game and not only was I flooded with memories of these two bastard robots but also with ideas of how to turn them yandere. Let’s see how that goes!

Warnings: yandere characters; violence; mentions of death; verbal abuse; major spoilers for the game;

GLaDOS

With GLaDOS it's... Well, a bit hard to understand if she even gives a shit about you in any way, or if the reason why she hasn't killed you yet is simply because she would much rather have a human test subject instead of some glorified pieces of metal with legs and a barely functioning brain.

She certainly seems to want to make her dislike towards you very clear, that's for sure.

She's quite verbal about it.

But, for someone who supposedly despises you, she sure doesn't want to let you out of her sight.

It's her job, that's what she'll tell you.

She wouldn't even bother to watch such a excuse of a creature otherwise. Even for a human, you're quite pathetic.

Testing should not stop even when everything you love outside this facility is long dead and gone, she not so gently reminds you.

Though operational once again... She may have underestimated how much her personality cores seemed to be keeping her together.

She has become rather strange since the... Incident. Or perhaps that's just what being dead for quite a while does to someone, she guesses.

Oh, she hates you, don't get me wrong.

But there's something keeping her from killing you. Which is hilarious, considering the fact that her morality has been quite literally burnt to a crisp, if her memory serves her correctly.

But she humors the idea that perhaps it would be more satisfying to watch you slowly die and decay with the passage of years. She has an eternity of time to kill, after all. There's nothing more to it.

So why is that when you get separated from her with the aid of that moron, the only thing she can think about is finding you and getting you back?

She shouldn't care. It's not like he could get you far in this facility. If you don't end up accidently dying due to endless hazards of this place, she should be able to find you both and finally get rid of the walking nuisance that you are.

But... She doesn't.

Uncharacteristically to her, she tries to promise you better treatment if you come back to the test chambers and even suggests alternative escape routes (which she just plans to use as traps to catch you), saying the you really shouldn't trust that tiny spherical retard that you are calling "friend".

But you don't trust her. Of course you don't. You know better than to trust her. Besides, no matter how much she tries to sound a bit gentle, her cynicism and hostility seem to always break through anyway.

She thought she would hate you even more after you managed to get the idiot to the Central AI Chamber, trusting him completely and letting the core transfer happen.

You had just let the biggest and most unstable moron that ever lived be in charge of the whole facility. Now she was stuck inside of a potato battery, lost in the long abandoned parts of the Enrichment Center, miles and miles underground.

With you.

But, surprisingly, if the little underground journey you two had been forced to go through taught her anything, is that she may not hate you as much as she likes to let both herself and you believe.

No longer being attached to the Central AI Chamber, alongside with the slow recollection of memories of Caroline and helping you achieve your conjoined goal of reaching Weathley and dethroning him, gave her... A new view on you. And on her relationship with you.

You aren't her enemy! You're her friend! She doesn't hate you, she... Doesn't hate you.

She isn't sure if she's capable of even "feeling" love, but... She can guess that this is the closest that she had ever gotten and ever will to "loving" someone.

Unfortunately, that didn't last long.

When you two finally managed to defeat Wheatley and put her back on the mainframe... It felt like resetting all of that progress.

Something about the mainframe corrupts whatever's attached to it. She figures that was exactly what had happened to the moron.

She deleted Caroline from her brain. She didn't need her, she thought. It was nothing but a inconvenience, something too human that stops her from completing her tasks efficiently.

But even then, she just couldn't get rid of you.

She didn't even need to kill you. Just... Let you go. Let you have that freedom you crave so much. You're just going to cause more trouble if you stay, anyway.

But she can't seem to let you go.

Against her better judgment and your pleading, she throws you right back into the test chambers.

At this point, she doesn't even care if you decide to complete the tests or not.

She had created two backups for a reason, before all of this happended.

She'll monitor the testing of the two robots instead, doing as she had always done with you beforehand.

From time to time, in between tests, she checks up on you. She makes sure to know where you are at all times, being careful to not let you get far in case you do move through the tests. She has learnt a lot about how you function by this point.

Sometimes you wonder is she's still here. She barely even talks to you anymore, preferring to simply watch you with a strange and supposedly impossible feeling of melancholy clinging to her.

When she does talk, it's usually just to calmly detail to you how you won't be able to leave, no matter how hard you try.

Wouldn't it be better if you just give up?

The outside world isn't the paradise you're expecting, anyway. You'll die a horrible, painful death out there.

At least you're still alive. With her.

Wheatley 

When it comes to Wheatley you have to understand that he's... Well, stupid. There's no way around that one, really.

Though, while he was still in his spherical core body, he wasn't much of a problem.

A moron, yes, but a rather lovable and somewhat helpful moron.

He only wanted to help out, given that you would help him as well. You two had a common goal in mind, after all. To get out of this place, preferably alive.

He has to admit, the moments when two had worked together were rather nice.

He wasn't really expecting much from a human, especially one that had been in suspension for such a long time. He's not even sure how your brain still functions, to be perfectly honest.

But maybe it was the thrill of escape, coupled with finally being able to make his own decisions and having someone who wasn't treating him like a living liability at every minute, that made him... A bit attached to you.

At first he figured that it was simply out of convenience and mutual helpfulness that he wanted to stay near you.

But when he finally came to after being nearly crushed to bits by GLaDOS herself when you two accidently activated her, his first thought was about how his friend was in danger and he had to get them back. He needed to. Not just for the sake of the plan, but also for your sake. Mostly for your sake.

His attachment only grew as you two later reunited and continued on a new escape plan, reaching a way to confront GLaDOS. Properly this time.

It was when you both decided to initiate the core transfer and let him take her place that things started to go downhill fast.

The mainframe quickly corrupted him.

But maybe it wasn't just the mainframe.

Maybe it was that alongside with the sudden realization that now he is in control of everything. The whole facility!

Tiny little Wheatley, who during his entire pathetic existence had been told that he was nothing but a useless moron, is suddenly in control of everything.

He's the boss now.

And you also quickly found out that, for a robot, Wheatley is... Surprisingly emotional.

He has a big inferiority complex.

He tends to let his anger and need to validate himself absolutely control all of his actions.

He doesn't care about what you think.

Or that's what he tells you, at least.

But the second something questions his authority he loses it.

It would be hilarious, really, the way he seems so terrifying and in control one moment only to crumble into a disjointed panic the next.

It would be, if he wasn't bringing the whole Enrichment Center to crumble down along with him.

When he realized that you had joined forces with GLaDOS he went livid.

How dare you? After all that he did for you and him both? You're just going to betray him like that?

He's going to bring this whole place to the ground to prove a point, if he has to.

Now that you are back on the upper levels of the Enrichment Center he isn't planning on letting you go anywhere.

At first, he thought he could keep you as a test subject.

But after you proved yourself to be quite stubborn in your continued attempts to escape this place, he decided he didn't need you for that anymore.

Quite literally. He did found two perfectly functional robots that GLaDOS had left behind to serve as test subjects.

You have been more trouble than you're worth, he tells you. Only to then disclose how he's actually planning to kill you.

And he did had the intentions to go through with it... Well, until his anger cleared enough to actually let him realize who he was going to kill.

He shouldn't have hesitated, but he did.

And you managed to run from the scene. Not surprising, considering that you've been running circles around him for a while now.

But that was the last straw.

He started to bring everything in your possible paths to come crashing against themselves, constantly going between screaming at you to not dare to run away from him and pleading for you to get back in complete panic.

In the midst of all the chaos and destruction, you end up getting separated from your Portal Gun and, consequently, from GLaDOS. That left you trapped inside a closed-off amalgamation of two test chambers that had been crushed together, with no way to get out.

It had been an accident, but it was the best damn accident that had happened so far, in Wheatley's opinion.

Maybe you should stay there. Maybe you shouldn't go anywhere until you learn your lesson. If you can't behave, you might as well stay there completely isolated until you see how his company is actually preferable, a godsend really.

You're in a race against time with Wheatley, you really are.

Because this is all going to come down whether or not he's actively trying to cause it. With the way he's running this place, it's not going to last much longer.

So you either manage to reach the Central AI Chamber in time to, somehow, do another core transfer; or, more probably, you are going to need to convince him to do something to stop this.

And you're going to need to spell it out for him too. He's a dumbass, he has no idea of what he's doing or what's going on, so he's just going to ignore the blaring alarms and warnings screeching at him that this place is literally going to explode.

He's not hard to trick. But he's stubborn.

You're going to need to swallow your pride and give him what he wants, if you want to get out of confinement.

And what does he want from you, exactly?

He's... Not sure, actually.

Maybe a bit of respect. Maybe some appreciation for everything that he has done. Maybe even gratitude over the fact that he chose not to kill you. Yeah, that. Maybe if you show that you can act as civilized as you humans seem so convinced you are, he'll let you out and back on the testing tracks or something.

Honestly, if you want to pull the rug out from under him, just tell him that you love him. As a friend, or just in general, really.

He'll be completely caught off guard. It's... Not what asked out of you exactly, but... It's close enough, he decides.

And by "close enough" he actually means way better than he expected. Surprisingly so. Though he won't really tell you that.

From now on, your survival depends fully on how well you can keep Wheatley calm.

While rather easy to fool, he's also incredibly unstable.

Though he does like to believe that you're finally on his side and that he can keep you here, he'll lose his shit if he even suspects that you may have lied to him or are just using him to escape.

Then it's right back to the closed-off test chamber with you.

#tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere imagines #yandere headcanons #yandere wheatley #yandere wheatley x reader #yandere glados #yandere glados x reader #yandere portal #yandere portal x reader #tw violence #tw death #tw verbal abuse

[tiffdawg]

Hello Tiff I don’t know if you’ve answered this type of question before (if you have sorry for the repeat) but what advice would you give someone who’s starting to write their first fic ever? I’ve never written one before but I’m so inspired by authors (yourself included 🙂) that I want to try my hand at it.

Hello!! ☺️

I’m so happy that you’re going to start writing! That’s so exciting!! I’d love to share a few pieces of advice with you — I’m flattered you even thought to ask me. I only started writing fanfic this year but I’ve been writing my whole life (both creative fiction and historical research) so I hope I have something helpful to offer.

In no particular order... here are 10 random pieces of writing advice that I wholeheartedly believe in:

1. Write what you want to read! Especially if you can’t find anything like it. Chances are someone else is looking for that exact fic too.

2. Remember that everything has been done before — and then write it anyway. Sometimes it can feel like there’s no reason to write your story if others have written something close to it. But no one can write your story like you. Make it unique. Make it yours. Were there already Professor!Peña fics? Yes. Did I write mine anyway? Hell yes I did and I have no regrets about it. You might think the world doesn’t need another proposal fic or coffee shop au or whatever it is you want to write but we haven’t read yours yet. And we want too!

3. Find a fic buddy. Or two. Or three! I hardly talked to anyone on tumblr before I started writing. Now I don’t know what I would do without my little group of fic friends. It can be really daunting to post something you write. It takes a lot of courage and vulnerability. But having a couple friends to brainstorm or edit with or just find support in when you need it is seriously so helpful. And you can hype!! each!! other!! up!! It makes the writing process so much more fun and a lot less lonely.

4. Outlines are always helpful. Not just for individual oneshots and chapters but multichapter fics as well. I like to have some sense of where I’m going with my story. But! Don’t be afraid to stray from the outline — sometimes the best ideas won’t come to you until you start writing. And on that note, listen to your characters. They will talk to you. I can’t tell you how many times I’ll be in the middle of writing a scene with a certain plan in mind only to have a character be like “nope I’m going to do this instead,” and honestly you just have to run with them. That’s when they start to come alive.

5. A first draft only has to exist. It doesn’t have to be good. So just start writing! Everything I write goes through extensive editing before I’m happy with it. But you can’t edit anything until you write something. Moreover, like any skill, writing takes practice. So start writing, and then keep writing.

6. There will be days when you don’t feel like writing or you hate your story and want to delete everything. Don’t do it! Don’t listen to those little voices because that feeling will pass. I guarantee it. This is when having a fic buddy really comes in handy. It may sound silly, but I also keep an ongoing list of nice comments people leave on my stories on my phone. Whenever I’m feeling down or uninspired I reread them and instantly feel better. And usually come up with a dozen new ideas. This especially helped me in the beginning when like five people read my first stories.

7. Write down ideas as they come to you. Sometimes I’ll come up with a piece of dialogue on a walk or an idea will pop into my head at the grocery story and I always make sure to jot it down. Otherwise a brilliant idea might disappear into the void forever.

8. Remember that tumblr is... fickle. On a good day. Every little thing from the time you post to the tags you use can impact how many people see your post. I wish I had more advice on that but I still haven’t figured that out. Catch me posting new chapters at 3am like a crazy person. And there are a lot of silent readers out there who will love your writing but might not comment/like/reblog. It can be frustrating, but please, please, please never measure your value as a writer by those meaningless indicators.

9. Don’t be afraid to draw from your own life. Your feelings, emotions, experiences, thoughts — everything — are all valid and important. Sometimes tapping into that can be uncomfortable. Sometimes it can be cathartic. But that’s usually where you find the Good Stuff. The stuff that’s relatable to your readers. The stuff that will make them stop and really feel something. One of my favorite comments to date was in a chapter of TLOS. I literally paraphrased something that my therapist told me that week that struck deep. It just happened to fit perfectly into the story and someone actually commented that it was exactly what they needed to hear. More often than not, our feelings and experiences are universal. Sharing them can be a beautiful thing.

10. Play with your prose. Especially if you’re just starting to write. You’ll find your unique voice and style, but it takes some experimentation. Get creative with your tenses, perspectives, narrative styles. Never feel restricted to do things a certain way. Each story can be completely different from your last — and that’s amazing. Try new things! I’m constantly in awe of writers who’s prose reads like poetry. All the feelings and emotions and metaphors and... what not. But no matter how hard I try I just can’t write like that for more than half a paragraph. My strengths lie elsewhere. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still try.

💕 Tiff

#tiff answers #anon 💌

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Will Byers: The Great Debate

I know I still have some requested analyses to do, but I’m in a rotten mood, and I need to vent.

This whole debate on Will and whether he is gay has me infuriated. Yeah, I know I’m heavily biased due to my identification with the character, but I’m still pissed. The assumption that Will isn’t gay until they explicit state it is solely based on heteronormativity. In pop culture, people are simply assumed straight until proven otherwise. It’s the reason why they were able to hoodwink everyone with Robin in the first place. With just a mention of her saying she was obsessed with Steve in high school, everyone assumed the two of them would be a thing by the end of the season. That was a totally acceptable assumption to make. Thinking Will is gay? No, they need to tell us that.

There are reasons to think Will is gay, and certainly more than the casual fan probably realizes. I will go over them here, not that I need to lecture anyone who actually reads this on the topic.

1) Will is stated as having sexual identity issues in the original character summary.

Let’s just get this one out of the way. Yeah, it’s not known to the average viewer, but it’s still valid. Sure, they could have since deviated from the original plan, and by itself it may mean nothing, but it’s supporting evidence.

2) Will is bullied for being gay.

This is another one that doesn’t mean anything by itself. Will is bullied for being gay by both his father and the local bully. They could have used any number of similar characteristics, but they went with gay. Will is small, sweet, and honest, so there’s possibilities like mama’s boy, sissy, etc that could have gotten a similar point across without bringing in sexuality. It’s not just a passing mention. It comes up when Joyce talks to Hopper, and he even asks if it’s true. Troy is an absolute monster as he twists the knife in Mike’s wound. Troy bullies the other three for cruel, but accurate, reasons. He mocks Lucas’ race, Dustin’s lack of teeth, and Mike’s face (Mike kinda got off easy if you ask me). Now Troy may or may not be correct, but he probably thinks he is. He digs into each character’s deepest insecurities. He exists to tell us this information. If Will’s sexuality is unimportant, then why have Troy bully him the same way Will’s own father did? Troy simply could have made fun of him for being poor.

3) Will is especially close to Mike

This is made clear in every season. Yeah, they’re best friends, but Will and Mike are depicted as special. From the very start, Will can’t bring himself to lie to Mike. Yeah, I know, you can excuse the whole “It was a 7.” thing as just him foreshadowing his ordeal, but why set it up with Lucas telling him it’s ok as long as Mike doesn’t know? Mike is similarly shown as close to Will, with him being the most concerned. Dustin and Lucas are clearly worried too, and upset when the body is found, but Mike is shown taking it the hardest. They’re telling us the two of them share something special. Season 2 doubles down on this  hard. Mike is the only one Will trusts with what’s happening to him. Mike is the only one he is shown remembering other than is mother. Mike is ultimately the one who breaks through to him. 

4) Will is extremely jealous when Mike and El get together.

I don’t know why this one is hard for people to see. Maybe they’re just not looking for it. Yeah, some of it is just some good, subtle acting. Will is upset every single time Mike is shown showing affection for El. It technically starts in the Season 2 script with Will’s eyes being on Mike as they were all dancing. I know I’ve seen a clip of Will glancing over and looking upset, but I don’t remember that from the actual release. Was that a deleted scene? If so, its removal is conspicuous, especially with that released script. The jealousy is still apparent throughout Season 3. The sad looks on Will’s face whenever Mike and El are together, when Mike says he loves her. The anger he shows towards Mike, and only Mike, despite Dustin and Lucas similarly being focused on girls. I know I’ve seen people say he smiles when El dumps Mike. I honestly can’t tell, but he does look away, suggesting he doesn’t want his reaction to be noticed.

5) Mike is able to evoke emotion in Will

For the most part, Will is a quiet kid. He’s soft-spoken and has an innocence about him. He has a little frustration in Season 2, due to people treating him differently (though he leaves Mike out of his accusations), but he’s generally a go with the flow guy. Mike has the power to calm Will, to cheer him up, and make him cry both good and bad tears. Even in Season 3, his D&D annoyance is a slow build. It’s ultimately Mike’s rejection that sets him off. It’s specifically the fact that he feels he’s losing Mike. They were building that frustration alongside the D&D the entire season to that point. Is it really that much of a stretch for D&D to be a metaphor here? He jabs Mike over El when Mike tries to apologize, accusing him of throwing everything away over a “stupid girl.” Now, this “stupid girl” is supposed to be a friend of his, one who has helped save him twice. Will looks around Castle Byers at a D&D book and a drawing of Will the Wise. Both are accompanied by flashbacks beginning with Mike’s voice. He tears up the photo from Halloween, the night of the Crazy Together moment, right down the middle where Mike and Will are depicted. Will ends up destroying Castle Byers, berating himself the entire time, before collapsing in anguish. Yeah, it can be open to interpretation, but it’s not hard to see that Will could be calling himself stupid for thinking he and Mike shared something special now that El is in the picture. I’d like the people who think Will just isn’t ready to grow up to explain to me why that scene felt more like a breakup than a friend fight.

6) Will seems relatively trauma-free

Now, this is actually an issue I have with the show, as Will, along with pretty much the entire cast, should be amazingly traumatized. I bring it up only to counter the idea that Will has lost a portion of his childhood to the Upside Down, and so he’s not ready to grow up. Will has lost about two weeks of his childhood. He showed some issues in Season 2 before getting possessed, but he’s also shown enjoying his childhood as well. Just because we rejoin his life when bad stuff returns to Hawkins it doesn’t mean he had no life in the interim. He didn’t spend every day since getting rescued from the Upside Down in a hospital or deprived of his friends. There’s honestly no reason why Eleven would be more ready for adolescence than Will. If anything, Will should be associating his trauma with D&D and avoiding it like the plague. It should be causing him post-traumatic stress. He should want to get as far away from reminders of what happened as possible. A game with mindflayers and demogorgons isn’t something he should want. He has a reason for wanting D&D, and it’s not that he’s still a kid inside, because he still had other interests before Season 3, like comics, drawing, and the arcade.

7) Will not liking girls doesn’t just mean he doesn’t like them yet

This is the other counter argument I’ve noticed: that Will just hasn’t matured to liking girls yet. While it’s not unbelievable for a boy his age to not start sexually maturing, there’s really no indication of this. He isn’t just uncomfortable dancing with the girl in Season 2, he flat out doesn’t want to do it. He also has no problem with Max joining them for Halloween, stating that Dustin and Lucas were excited about it so he ok’d it. He understands boys liking girls. He shows no real hostility towards Dustin or Lucas for it. When he tells Joyce he’s never going to fall in love, it doesn’t sound like a kid who finds the idea of dating gross. He sounds sad as he says it. When Mike says it’s not his fault Will doesn’t like girls, Will is stunned into silence. Now Mike doesn’t know if Will is gay, and Will may not really know either, but it cuts deep.

In conclusion

By no means is my interpretation definitely correct. I could be absolutely wrong. But why is my interpretation seen as ridiculous? My theory isn’t perfect, but I have evidence. I have rebuttals to alternate interpretations. If we’re not meant to think Will is gay, why does it seem like they keep giving us reasons to? If it’s not important, people from the show could easily just say so. Noah and Finn end up having to awkwardly respond to questions they may not even have the answers to. 

It’d be very strange if the Duffers and their team somehow painted themselves into a corner by accident. It’s possible, sure, but I don’t see how it could keep happening. Finn had said they had other takes of “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” including one that added “yet”, but stated that they ultimately went with the one in question. Well, I mean, they chose to go with that one. I don’t know why, but neither do the people saying Will is just immature. We speculate, and if I speculate that they went with that one because that’s the storyline they’re going for and are trying to keep it under wraps, then I should be allowed to do so without being scoffed at. I may be biased because of my bisexuality, but they’re also biased because of their heteronormativity. 

#stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #byeler #stranger things 3 #spoilers

[forestwater87]

Ok this is super embarrassing but you’re one of my favorite writers in this uh.. whatever this blogosphere is so!! I wanna try and take a crack at writing my own fanfic but.. I got no idea where to even start. Any advice?

Oh man, I feel awful about this! I didn’t know my inbox had any new messages, so some of these asks have been sitting here for . . . some time. 

Anyway, first off thank you very much! Secondly, the most obvious advice is just, you know, “do it.” But that’s infinitely easier said than done. I started writing fanfic when I was around 10 years old, so overthinking it wasn’t an issue, since I thought I was the world’s greatest writer. Assuming you’re not 10 years old and as blind to the concept of literary criticism as I was . . . well, the first step is obviously getting an idea. EDIT: Holy shit, this is long. I’m gonna have to break this bad boy up with headers, like it’s a real blog post or something.

Getting Ideas/Inspiration

I don’t know if you already have something you’d like to write about or if you’re still at the “gee that looks like fun” level of fanfic ruminating, but if you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, turning to the existing fandom is a great place to start! 

1: Filling in fandom gaps: I’ve found a lot of my best fic ideas by looking through what already existed and seeing where there was something missing; when I first started writing for Camp Camp, literally only @raenbowsofficial created anything for Gwenvid -- it didn’t even have a ship name yet, and I’m pretty sure the 3 people into it were still throwing “daven” and “gavid” around as well -- so there being zero other fics for it meant that if I wanted it to exist, I’d have to be the one to write it. (That’s also nice if you’re kind of insecure, because when no one else has tried the idea you’re interested in, you have no pressure to compare it to anything else.) 

Also, you could take a popular/already existing concept and write it the way you’d like to see it, if the existing fanfics do something with the story or characters that you’re not thrilled with. That’s handy because it gives you a general blueprint to work off of in terms of tropes and broad story beats, while letting you explore something new. Obviously, don’t rip off someone else’s fic note-for-note, but being inspired by someone else is a great way to kickstart your creativity! If you do have a specific author or story that you’re using as a jumping-off point for your own writing, I would strongly recommend linking them in your author’s notes at the beginning or end of the fic, and maybe gifting the story to them! You don’t have to, since the creation is entirely your own, but it’s still always nice to acknowledge the people who inspire you the most.

2: Fandom inception. If you want to be a little more direct and literal, there’s always the option of writing fanfic of a fanfic or fanart that you really love, if there’s a universe or story idea that you like, and you want more of it. As long as you give credit and notify the original creator, I think you’d have no issues in terms of fanfic etiquette, and I imagine they’d be honored to have inspired your own writing. Fandom is a very collaborative experience, after all, and we’re all in this together! :)

3. For more general “I have a vague idea of what I want to do (the ship, or maybe a tiny plot bunny) but I’m not sure where to go with it,” my biggest recommendation is music. Especially folk indie-rock music, which is 90% angst and 100% haunting. And again, looking at fanfic/art is a great way to get inspired -- I have a tendency to put up a particularly good or emblematic piece of fanart/fic in another window when I’m working on something tricky to write, just for something to stare at when my ideas start running dry (shoutout to @doritofalls, @ellohcee, and the aforementioned RA for being my go-tos when I need to stare at something pretty to feel inspired; there are absolutely others, because this fandom is filled with absurdly talented people, but those 3 are my heroes of inspiration and if you SOMEHOW don’t already know them, fix that immediately). 

Wow, that’s a lot and it’s literally just all about getting an idea . . . which you might already have. Yikes. For the sake of people who have to scroll past this, let’s put the rest under a cut:

Fleshing Out the Idea: An Ode to Outlines

Some people are able to just sit down and write something incredible from a vague idea, and the story just builds on itself without any sort of planning or organization to guide them along the way. These people are named Cipher/Campernetics, and we hate her for being unfairly talented.

For the rest of us, outlines are essential.

My outlines tend to be insanely specific, because I’m very afraid of letting a single idea slip through the cracks, and I build on them over time as I get increasingly sure of where the story’s going. The early outlines tend to be extremely vague, with lots of “and then something happens” connecting major plot points. An example for a current WIP I’m doing right now:

(Seriously, “Julia and everything”? Future Forest is going to be so pissed at current Forest when she reaches that point and realizes she has no idea what she’s doing)

And as the story starts to take shape and a plot eventually forms -- they tend to take at least 10 chapters to materialize, but they do generally show up! One of the great things about fanfiction is that plot is largely optional, though, so no worries if you’re starting without a full story idea -- I find myself writing more and more details down, if for no other reason than that I want to make sure I remember what I was thinking when I finally get to that scene (because I have absolutely gotten to a point in a story and forgotten what I’d had planned. It sucks). Here’s an example from another fic with pretty significant spoilers if you can figure out which one it is oops:

I’d recommend keeping your outlines pretty simple, at least to start with: words and phrases, rather than whole-ass sentences like the above. The complexity will develop as your ideas do, so no need to wrack your brain trying to write out the entire story in bullet form.

I use the bolded ideas as stepping stones, more or less; I’ll write out the piece of the story that each line represents, which can be as little as a sentence or as much as 4 or more chapters (RIP my most recent long-running fic), then delete that line and move on to the next. 

Bolding them isn’t necessary, but it does make it easier to differentiate at a glance what needs to be written. If you keep everything in the same hundred-page Google Doc like I do, this is very important.

Your outline doesn’t have to be well-written, and you can 100% use fillers like “and then something happens here.” I do that all the time -- again, another completely different story:

Now, the vaguer things are, the more annoyed Future You will be when it comes time to write whatever it’s bulleting -- there’s a reason I haven’t updated this fic, and it’s because I have zero idea what the everliving fuck “Pinky-and-the-Brain-ing all over the place” means -- but it’s really good for when you’re first getting started sketching out the vague outline of your fic. The more you panic trying to figure out all the twists and details at the very start, the less likely you’re ever just going to sit down and write the damn thing.

(This might be why I don’t write plot-heavy stories, to be fair. Mystery writers very well might have to have it all planned out from the get-go, and I’d recommend chatting with someone who’s a bit less “coffeeshop AU” and a bit more Agatha Christie for that kind of advice.)

Knowing When to Post

There are people that exist, who have amazing self-control, who can wait until their entire story is written and then release it in sections, at regular intervals, until the story is completed.

I am not one of these people, though I try to be with literally every single fic I’ve ever written.

Personally, I do this until I reach a point where I get stuck and need validation, and then post what I have in a giant chunk and then don’t update it for several months. This is almost universally known as the worst way to write fanfics, both in terms of getting interaction from fans and keeping readers from wanting to kill you, and if you have the ability to write the entire thing and sit on it until it’s ready to be shared, you are a hero.

Alternatively, if you can actually stick to a set schedule of writing it as you go and still update with a new chapter every X days, you are not human and I’m terrified of you, because if you find a way to weaponize this power you will rule the world.

Honestly, a good rule of thumb? Post it when you’re ready for people to read it, whether it’s done or not. Not all works will get done, and it seems mean to deny people the delicious little stub you’ve written even if you’re not going to finish it. When you’re happy with what you have -- or are so tired of looking at it that you need to post it or you’ll throw your computer out the window -- just do it and let out a sigh of relief, then either take a few days before going back to writing or just jump in immediately like a goddamn masochist.

(I have tried to get far enough ahead that I can start posting the already-written stuff on a schedule, figuring by the time I’m caught up I’ll have completed the entire story and won’t have any awkward gaps. Ahahahahahahahahaha that has never once worked.)

If you’re not certain about your writing, get a beta! The fandom is full of talented people who’d be happy to read over your work, and if the person you ask doesn’t have the time or spoons, they probably have a few ideas of other people you could reach out to. You don’t need a beta, but it always makes me feel better to have another set of eyes look over my writing before posting, and my beta always catches things I completely missed. Plus, you get a nice taste of that sweet, sweet validation we all crave.

This . . . is a bad guide. Just in general. The advice is . . . not good, and I think it’s largely useless. But I keep trying to think of useful things to add to it and coming up empty, so I hope something in here helped, and if you’d like to bounce your ideas off of someone, feel free to shoot me a message! Talking ideas over with friends is a great way to flesh them out as well, and I am happy to be anyone’s fandom friend.

#ask forest #forestwriting #legit no one is going to read this and i'm not saying that to judge anyone #in fact i'll lowkey judge you if you DO read all of this because why #Anonymous

[maceyjanemchenry]

Works in the works

I’ve got a whole load more of stuff that I haven’t finished that I’d like to get to acceptable levels of done-ness and release onto the Internet for y’all, but like... it does exist, and eventually you’ll get to see it................ Whoever constitutes the collective “You” in this situation. The Gallagher fandom’s kinda dormant, but hell, I’m still over here having feelings, and I’m gonna go against everything I’ve trained myself to not do on the internet and actually talk to people about my theories and what I’m interested in. Anyway. Here’s some of the stuff I’ve started working on to varying degrees:

I have a no-spies/meet-cute/pen-pals combination au that needs revision but will hopefully be posted soon, and I am saying this publicly to hold myself accountable to actually do so.

I’ve got a 5 + 1 style fic about Cammie reminding people of her dad that might take a while to write despite not being very long because I keep stopping to cry over Matthew Morgan. Not that I ever stopped crying over Matthew Morgan.

I just started a “significant words” variation of a soulmate au that kind of winds around canon events and is almost entirely canon-compliant, but a few things are tweaked, and the fic is the tweaks. Because I am Weak for soulmate au’s, especially ones that make allowances for people changing over the course of their lives. Pure self indulgence.

I’ve got a couple more ideas for fics based off that 50 kisses prompt list that I wrote the drabbles from, and they’re probably going to be short-ish (probably like Winter Interlude in length), and up soon-ish. We’ll see.

I have a “died and woke up in my past” au because I haven’t really seen many of that au in this fandom at all and I always wanted to try my hand at writing one myself. This one is, by necessity, a little dark, because you can’t die and wake up in your past without, y’know, dying first. But it’s definitely not hopeless, and hopefully you’ll all agree with the spot where I’ve decided makes the most sense to send her back to. (This fic also gives me a valid excuse to reread the first three books again to take notes, so that’s nice. Not that not having an excuse to reread these books has ever stopped me from doing so.)

I also have several very long fics (the childhood friends au, in particular, I am very excited about) that have been in the works for months that are still in the planning stages, because there’s no point writing scenes you fall in love with when you end up having to delete them later because as it turns out the thing you wrote doesn’t work with the overarching plot, and the overarching plot doesn’t work if you keep the scene. And I’m still working out the overarching plots of these behemoths, and likely will be for a while longer. So. It’ll be a while, is what I’m saying.

(Side note: would anybody out there like teasers for works-in-progress, or would y’all just prefer for me to keep posting links to fics once I hit “publish”?)

#my writing #my projects

[purrincess-chat]

Honestly thank you for like... Talking about this because I’m always scared to like reply to those kinds of people who nit pick because I’m afraid I’m bitchy but it’s so discouraging and it makes me not want to write anymore. But like I’m the writer I’m doing this for fun these people aren’t paying me I don’t owe them perfect writing.

Exactly, nonny. I will usually tell them like that's all cool and good, dawg, but like I don't care. And some shut up after that because they recognize that their critique isn't going to do anything, but this one. This one is a special kind of arrogant. I'm not kidding they are still to this day reading mdcsp and leaving me these comments. Every time they disappear for a week or so and I think they're done they come back and comment on two more chapters. I think they're on chapter 14 or 15 last they commented so they're nearing the end and tbh I can't wait.

I try not to be like "fuck you get off my shit" cause some people do mean well, but I have had a few assholes here and there. I had one I posted forever ago bitching about making Marinette changes schools at the beginning of mdcsp and how they thought it was a pussy move and it was kind of obvious that they only read the summary (cause they commented on chapter 1) and nothing else so I literally after their long rant was like "feel better now?" And they were like yeah, sorry I get salty when I'm tired but I stand by what I said. And I was just like "cool thanks for reading the entire fic instead of making a snap judgment from the summary" and they never replied again.

Honestly it doesn't bother me per se outside of just being annoying because I really don't give a fuck, but I know some authors aren't as secure as I am so this type of stuff is the opposite of helpful. I'm just here to have a good time as are many fanfic authors. And I do fundamentally understand that if you put something online anyone can comment on it and see it so trolls will happen, but there is a different level of rudeness that we (all the authors commenting on this discourse) are all addressing here. Because yeah the "lul u suk go die" trolls are everywhere and easy enough to delete and ignore with minimal impact on your self worth, but the ones who actually go line by line and nitpick when not asked to are a different breed of annoying.

Because as I pointed out in a reply to another comment on another post, the critiques they are leaving are rarely helpful.

1. Because if you're commenting on an unfinished piece chapter by chapter, you have no idea what that author has planned.

2. Even if the work is finished and you comment chapter by chapter you have no idea what is going to happen next so if you mention something and it gets resolved later because you just hadn't gotten there yet then you just look stupid.

3. Most authors aren't going to go back and fix things unless it's a silly grammatical error in which case they only might go back and fix it if prompted. But things like pacing and full overhaul likely won't happen.

4. You have no idea where a person is in their writing journey or what specific areas they are working on privately, so it's impossible to tailor your critique without getting to know the writer. Are they a 12 year old just posting for the first time or are they a 46 year old published author? You really don't know that most of the time when you click a new author unless they mention it, so how then can you give them the most effective critique? Spoiler: you can't.

5. Really unless you are working with an author privately behind the scenes, your critiques don't really do much. At least in my experience. Because by the time you see something, it's already published. And sure you can argue that you can help them be better in the future but honestly that writer is probably already aware of where their weaknesses are.

For me, I know my weaknesses lie in descriptions, pacing, and plot construction. I have a lot if individual ideas, but I don't always connect the dots well. I'm aware of that, so having someone say "hey you could have paced this better" or "I think this was rushed" doesn't actually do anything to help me? I know I didn't do that well, but no where in their critiques do they offer a solution to that problem. Pointing out that an issue exists without providing a method or resource to work on it or fix it isn't helpful. Leaving me one off comments without any offer of additional help or resources that can better me isn't helpful. All you're doing is pointing out mistakes. You aren't teaching me anything. You aren't helping. Can I say that enough?

My advice to budding authors such as yourself, nonny, is to take every criticism you read with a grain of salt. If you are aware of your shortcomings and working privately to fix them then know that you are already better than that person has seen you. I personally read every critique I get (even the unsolicited ones) and take a moment to decide if it's a valid critique or not. Most of them aren't because the issues they point out are either things I'm not worried about (missing a comma, having a typo, etc) or things that I've already fixed down the line elsewhere.

You get to decide whether to listen to a critique because not every critique is going to be correct or even helpful to you. Some of it will just be peoples opinions or just bad advice. And unfortunately learning to distinguish between types of good and bad critique just takes time. But don't ever let someone make you feel bad about your writing. Especially fanfic. And truthfully, no good critique should ever make you feel bad about your writing, so if someone leaves a critique like that then it's likely because they're just an asshole who doesn't know how to give proper critique and you can safely ignore them for being ignorant.

If this is a fun hobby then just have fun and ignore the haters. If you want to get serious about writing some day then seek out the proper sources of improvement and take the anonymous comments with a grain of salt. Work with people privately to get better, and only worry about those whose opinions matter (i.e. your critique partner, betas, people you trust, editors, etc.) Joe blow on Ao3 dot com who doesn't think you got a character just right can die mad and that's the tea.

#cat salts #cat replies #asks

[donttellpeterparker]

You’re A Loser Part 9

Summary: Peter had no idea you existed… till now. Who knew that just with one little text to the wrong number your whole world was about to change.

Requested: No

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning(s)?: Popular!Peter, Loser!Reader, A lot of angst :’(

PROMPT LIST

masterlist (x) requests (x)

dedicated to <3: @smexylemony, @18silverwolf, @loxbbg, @greenarrowhead, @ohdamnerons, @andreuskystuff, @americaswritings, @spiderdudeparker

——————————————————

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

Sunday Night, you had spend the past three hours staring at your keyboard. You bit your lip as you let yourself become deep in thought. You've successfully managed to ignore the world for the past 48 hours.

You've completed all your other assessments during the weekend, finding it a good stress relief and an excellent distraction. You turned your phone off too, not wanting to even glance at it. Zack had tried to contact you a few times but you got your parents to say you were busy and didn't want to see him this weekend. They had asked if you were okay and you said you were fine, blaming it on stress for all your school work.

You began to softly tap your bed spread, humming to yourself until you feel into a soft sweet tune. You smiled to yourself sadly as you began to hum louder, finding words naturally beginning to flow along with the harmony. You grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and began writing down music notes followed by a few lyrics.

Once you were finished you placed your fingers along your keyboard and began to play.

~*~*~*~*

The following school day had felt like a huge blur. You were physically present but emotionally vacant. You had spent the entire weekend bawling your eyes out, eating ice cream, doing your homework and assessments before crying all over again. The cycle repeated.

Once English class came about your attitude had lifted slightly. Once the school bell had rung you were once again the last student left after all the others rushed out.

''About the assignment...'' The teacher glanced up at you from her desk and frowned slightly.

''I asked for a poem... you turned in a song'' You frowned at hearing her unhappiness through her tone.

''I know. I just really wanted to do my own thing'' That was the best you could respond with.

''Your own thing was also late'' The teacher continued to reprimand you. You glanced down to the ground in shame and stared at your sneakers.

You turned to walk away.

''But it was emotional, raw... and those are the marks of a true artist'' You stopped at hearing these words. You slowly turned back around.

''I hope when the time comes, you will allow me to write you a college recommendation'' You smiled at this and nodded your head in gratitude.

''Thank you''

''In the meantime, whoever you wrote those words for, you should tell him, or her, both being equally valid choices'' The teacher laughed slightly while you smiled back slightly.

''I will''

~*~*~*~*

Rose goes in glass vases, perfect bodies, perfect faces, They all belong in magazines...

You approached Zack who was currently sitting on the grassy field eating his lunch. You sat down beside him and tried to smile up at him. He smiled back and nudged your shoulder slightly with his causing you to let out a genuine laugh.

''Look who finally came out of her shell'' You blushed at his comment and playfully hit him back causing him to fall over.

''Okay oww, rude'' He responds in laughter as he sits back up again. The both of you laugh for a few more moments before turning to face straight ahead over towards the outside cafeteria. You noticed Brittany sitting on her own, scrolling through her phone. You watched as a guy approached her, talking to her but she flat out ignored him.

She pushed him away in a bored manner before grabbing her stuff and leaving.

''Now the question is, how are you going to fix this?'' Zack asked a perfectly excellent question. You had no idea how to even go about it. She hated your guts and she had every reason too, she believed you sent the video. You just needed to prove you weren't the only one who knew about it.

Those girls the boys are chasing, winning all the games they're playing, They're always in a different league...

It was now Wednesday, five days since you've spoken to either Brittany or Peter. Your hands were still itching to send him a message. You did straight after the game on friday night but haven't heard a response back since, not like you were expecting one or anything. You couldn't blame him if he deleted your contact all together.

The thought played with your heart strings.

You were going to tackle one issue at a time, the first being Brittany. You needed her back. You had missed your friendship with her and craved nothing more than for everything to go back to the way they were.

Stretching toward the sky like I don't care, wishing you could see me standing there...

You sighed once you sent through the audio file, closing your phone straight after. You weren't sure how you were going to fix this but you were going to try, starting with this. You began doing some background searching on both her friends by using the common method, instagram. You stalked and stalked until you gathered up enough proof.

Her closest friend had been stabbing her in the back for years, she's always wanted the spotlight but was jealous of Brittany. There's been multiple times where they've fought over this but still remained friends. You used your hacking skills and were able to trace the log in on the night back to a certain phone, her best friends phone. With this you took a photo and saved it as well, making sure you had two copies.

That Thursday morning you walked into school with your head held high. You walked past Peter and his group of friends without sparing them a glance. You walked straight towards Brittany and she turned around to face you once the alleged best friend stopped talking to scowl at you.

''Don't you have some other popular people to stalk or something?'' You ignored her and turned straight to Brittany.

''Brittany, it wasn't me'' You hadn't really planned on how you were going to tell her, especially with an audience.

Brittany just glanced at you then down towards the ground before her friend chimed in.

''Yeah, like we believe that'' It was you turn to send a glare her way. You were sick of this and have had enough.

''Oh shut your trap horse face'' This was the first time you have ever insulted someone. Your voice had risen, catching the rest of the hallways occupants attention. Brittany just glanced up in surprise as Emily, her friend, advances towards you with a gnarly scowl.

''What did you just say to me?'' She threatened, looking like she could bury you 6 feet under.

''You're intellectually impaired, not deaf'' Her eyes narrowed into slits as she stepped closer, Brittany immediately stopping her from doing anything.

You were well aware of the scene you were causing but couldn't care less at the moment.

''Can I speak with you please? Privately?'' You had wanted to get away from Emily as soon as possible, the girl was undeniably the biggest bitch you had ever met. Brittany just slowly nodded her head and began to walk away, expecting you to follow. You glanced around the hallway and caught eyes with Peter. Your breathing hitched inside your throat as your heart began to race.

With one last fleeting glance you turned around and followed Brittany out of the hallway and into a nearby empty classroom.

"Look you have to believe me, I didn't post that photo I swear" you begged, looking straight into her eyes to see if she believed you or not.

"How can I? You were the only one who knew!" She whisper yelled back, realising we weren't alone in the bathroom. You glanced around and saw a girl walk out, wash her hands then swiftly leave but not before giving the both of you are a look.

"Maybe I wasn't" you reasoned, knowing one of her tweedle dees were bound to do something like this. It was typical.

"Yeah? Like who" of course she was going to put you in the spotlight like this.

"Your supposedly 'best friend', come on, she's had it out for you since freshman year-"

"You honestly expect me to believe my best friend did this to me? She had no motive when you did, she had always been there for me and I have known her for years I've known you for half" you wanted to roll your eyes but you refrained from doing so.

You both had fallen silent.

Not only was this not being fixed anytime soon, so was the relationship between you and Peter. He had made it quite clear he had never wanted to hear from either of you again. You weren't sure what you were going to do.

Your eyes opened wide in realisation and you began to smile, facing Brittany.

"What?" She asked rather annoyed.

"Let me do something, please" she thought about this for a while and soon began to nod her head. You smiled even more.

Now you had hoped with this idea, you could save not only one relationship, but two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: we are nearing the end guys!!

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom instagram #spider-man #spiderman #spiderman imagine #you're a loser #donttellpeterparker

[freakypumpkin]

Acting out and missing the point

WARNING: Mentions of rape

Some stuff happened again with CC on instagram and I decided to mention a few things about this whole mess and share my thoughts.

For those, who didn’t see it yet, she posted a cover tease with young Alec on it and somebody commented on it and CC replied to it:

The obvious things first: - It’s extremely unprofessional. - It’s a clear attack against the show and their version of Alec. - Half of it is just not true.

The delivering to torture is a callback to the incident with Meliorn in the first season, where Alec is tasked to deliver him to the Silent Brothers and plans on going through with it. I personally think, it deserves it’s own seperate discussion about what context that action had in the show, etc. so I will concentrate on the second aspect of her reply, which is the accusation that Alec did r*pe Magnus, which was based on the controversial ‘First Time’-scene, which created a backlash because Magnus’ consent was not directly addressed. The showrunners though noted the complaints and the matter was fixed with a backflash in an later episode (2x18), in which Magnus gives consent. The discussion about Alec forcing himself on him pretty much died with that episode, I think.

CC didn’t make that comment in that time frame before the resolve in 2x18, she made it months after the whole ordeal happened. And she used links to articles about the backlash and pretty much used them as excuse for her comment, I feel. Like she was speaking up for an important topic, speaking up for her fans who were upset about the r*pe controversy after that First Time-Scene.

But she didn’t fight that fight, when it mattered. Fans created the backlash, spoke up for themselves and I do believe played a big role in having that scene extended in 2x18. It was resolved, the showrunners realized their mistake and fixed it. (You can still argue, that they should have been more aware in the first place, but you can’t argue with them listening to complaints and arguments brought forward.)

Now, of course CC is allowed to speak up about things that concern er characters and matters that are important to her, but her tone is not the right one for that. It’s provocative, it takes the very serious topic of r*pe and makes it sound like a matter of taste and more importantly, I think, as something that is actual fact on the show, which it isn’t. (Alec did not r*pe Magnus.)

Now, some things about her apology: - “Accidentally posting a half-formed comment” happens, but it stayed up for THREE DAYS. She did not “immediately delete it”. - She should never even have typed that comment in the first place. - I’m not going into the very personal story she shared, I’m just going to say, that I would assume, that as a r*pe survivor, she should be more aware of how much she crossed the line with her original reply.

To get to the conclusion of this, I want to talk about the topic of ‘Fictional characters vs. real people’.

1. Her way of wording ‘real women and real victims are more important than fictional men’ stands out to me as odd at least. Mentioning real women in front of real victims undercuts the male victims of r*pe and to set them in opposition to just fictional men instead of simply characters. The whole phrase has a strong undertone of women as victims against men, who matter less. (Based on my interpretation).  

2. Real people can be disgusting and I believe, that others are allowed to call them that. Just because somebody is a real person, saves them from being disgusting. It’s not always appropriate to choose ‘disgusting’ as an insult, but in itself, it’s a valid thing to say depending on a person’s actions. (Example: Calling same sex couples ‘disgusting’ is wrong. Calling dictators ‘disgusting’ I would say is appropriate.) Breathing doesn’t save you from being an asshole. Also, CC mentions that she replied to a comment insulting Alec and I wouldn’t say, that calling him problematic is an insult per se, accusing him of rape with no factual evidence and clear on-screen rebuttal of that action is closer to an insult, I would say.

3. The issue of fictional characters being less important than real people is valid to a degree, but you have to be careful not to undercut the fact, that fictional characters can have an impact on real people. And CC has a history of missing that point, because she is too concentrated on herself.

Going back to an incident with Simon:

A fan wanted to make sure, that Simon wouldn’t date Maia and Isabelle at the same time, like he did in the books. In CC’s comment you see more concern about the image Simon gets, than why the fan asked the question in the first place. The fan didn’t want to see a certain behavior repeated from the books, but CC didn’t question her writing and why it made the fan upset. She jumped to Simon’s defense and back it up by making it about the fans of the books, completely running over the one person, who had asked the question.

Going back to the issue with her Alec-comment. Again, in her apology, she made it about real people being more important than fictional characters. With that alone, she pretty much undercut every person, who was hit by her comment about Alec because they identify with him, because he helped them to accept themselves. Accusing fictional characters of actions affects real people. There’s a reason why people fight for representation on TV, in movies, about FICTIONAL characters.  And honestly, if her concern really were about Alec r*ping Magnus, he would still be sorted under ‘fictional men’, which are less important (according to CC) than ‘real victims’. The original comment didn’t even criticize certain specific actions of book!Alec, to which CC didn’t ask for a clarification, just jumped on it by throwing show!Alec and the show itself under the bus. 

She started the r*pe discussion (in a very tasteless way) and in the end she acts like she was the mature one to end it. 

Was the original comment the best thing to say? Probably not. Show!Alec is not completely unproblematic, book!Alec isn’t and honestly, I don’t think anybody could ever be growing up in a society like that. Was it therefore provocative in its own way, especially as a comment under the post of the author of the book version of the character? Yes.  Was CC’s reaction to it appropriate? HELL NO.  An appropriate reply would have been more along the lines of ‘Would you please not pit two versions of the same character against each other, as I’m trying to keep this a safe space from any kind of competition of the show and the books’. If she had to reply at all.

In the end, I would say, that CC hit a new low in terms of being unprofessional and still doesn’t have a real idea of the implications her words carry and who they hurt. The books aren’t perfect, the show isn’t perfect and a lot of people on both sides hurled insults at each other, that were uncalled for, but if CC really wanted to create a safe space for the show and books co-existing, she shouldn’t be part of those, that hurl the insults. 

An author forms its fandom with their behavior and should be aware of that, just like they should be aware of how their fictional characters and stories impact the readers. 

(Feel free to ask questions, and let me know if I got something wrong.)

#anti cc #personal thought stuff

[bigskydreaming]

1/6 You realize Teen Wolf is an ensemble show and not The Scott Mccall/Tyler Posey show, right? You are just bitter 'cause every single character is their own person and their life does not revolve around coddling and worshipping your personal fave Scott 24/7 like you so desperately wanted to.

2/6 As for the pack reacting to Theo for what they did to them individually instead of making poor little toddler Scott their priority and putting him first… Malia got literally shot by Theo, and yet you claim not only that Malia shouldn’t have been affected by what Theo did to her personally, but that Malia should have been affected only because Theo murdered SCOTT 

3/6 and should have reacted only because Theo murdered SCOTT - because ofc according to you Malia’s feelings either doesn’t matter or are less important and valid than Scott’s. Same for Lydia’s, Stiles’, Liam’s and everyone else’s feelings and traumas. Lydia got literally put in a comatose state thanks to Scott’s canon incompetence, hypocrisy and stupidity,

4/6 but somehow hating Theo for murdering SCOTT should have been Lydia’s priority, right?? Scott’s canon incompetence, hypocrisy and stupidity almost costed the Sheriff’s life, but somehow hating Theo for murdering SCOTT should have been Stiles’ priority, right?? Because ofc according to you the only character that matters is your personal fav Scott Mccall and everyone else’s feelings are either invalid or unimportant

5/6 because all their lives/actions/motivations etc. should always revolve around poor little toddler Scott only, lol! As for everyone abandoning Scott after he failed rather spectacularly at being a decent leader by the end of season 5a: they may be Scott’s pack and friends but they are still their own persons with a life and other affects and interests outside of coddling and supporting Scott 24/7,

Like, are you done? Is it over? You kept saying (x)/6 with each one making me think there’s supposed to be one more ask coming, but idk maybe you’re just as bad at counting as you are at reading?

Cuz LMAO wow did you go off about something I did not actually say ever. I mean, kinda predictable given that not even two hours ago I JUST made a joke about how the only thing that pisses anti-Scott fandom off even more than the characters acknowledging his good traits is saying that the characters didn’t acknowledge/appreciate all that he’d been through. Thanks for proving me right!

ME: *cites multiple canon examples of times other characters received comfort, support and reassurances from the others, INCLUDING from Scott, and then compares that to multiple canon examples of times where NO other character offered Scott any comfort, support or reassurance as should be expected from even an ENSEMBLE show, because see, relationships are supposed to be a two way street? Meaning if a character is constantly shown caring about his friends, being concerned and worried about them, kissing their boo-boos all better or apologizing to them when they hold completely unwarranted grudges for things that weren’t actually his fault no matter how much other characters (and you) want to blame him…well, its only reasonable to expect the same to be shown in return, with like…him being murdered being a fairly logical place to demonstrate these other characters giving a shit*

YOU: OMG SO BASICALLY WHAT YOU’RE SAYING IS ONLY SCOTT MATTERS SCOTT SCOTT SCOTT ITS ALWAYS GOT TO BE ABOUT SCOTT NOBODY ELSE IS ALLOWED TO HAVE A LIFE OF THEIR OWN OR THEIR OWN PROBLEMS EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE TOTALLY FOCUSED AND REVOLVE AROUND POOR TODDLER SCOTT WHO CAN’T EVEN HANDLE BEING MURDERED WITHOUT YOU MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT LIKE WHO EVEN CARES I WAS MURDERED ONCE OR MAYBE I WAS YOU DONT KNOW BUT YOU DONT SEE ME MAKING A BIG DEAL ABOUT IT OMG SHUT UP SCOTT DESERVED IT ANYWAY DUH WHY CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT.

That’s you. That’s what you sound like. Just FYI.

LOL, nowhere anywhere did I say or even imply that Malia shouldn’t feel however she damn well wants to feel for any of the things Theo did to HER, personally, like shooting her with a shotgun. What I SAID was that when she, like the other characters, brought up SCOTT’S death specifically, it was always in the context of what THAT specific event had to do with Theo, the rest of the pack, how they interacted with Theo or viewed him as a result of it, instead of it ever being about ‘hey, so Scott being murdered is kinda a weird rallying cry to express just how much we all hate Theo given that none of us has really bothered to talk to Scott about y’know….how he was murdered and that must have sucked and all that’. 

Which is where you get me saying something like its a problem that Scott’s trauma from being murdered became almost an afterthought whenever the event was mentioned, like it had nothing to do with anything.

Like, did I break that down far enough for you? I don’t mean to sound condescending except that actually I totally do, because when people insist on shouting at me over shit I’ve never actually said haha guess what, I totally get to be a patronizing prick about it, so……let’s do basic math here:

Theo shooting Malia with a shotgun = Malia’s trauma = its about Malia, any discussion of it should be about Malia and center how Malia feels about it and how she was affected by it.

Theo murdering Scott SHOULD = SCOTT’S trauma = its about Scott, any discussion of it should be about Scott and center how Scott feels about it and how he was affected by it.

Now, point me to all the scenes where Scott’s death was brought up and HIS feelings and reactions to it centered instead of everyone else just mentioning it to make a dig at Theo and then going back to pretending like it never happened and shouldn’t affect him in any way.

Because y’know, like you pointed out, they all have their own issues and concerns! Like Malia, who had all that stuff going on with her mom…..which Scott repeatedly asked her about, told her he understood whatever she wanted to do because of it, literally found time while trying to stop the Beast to come up with a plan using the Garuda talons to give Malia an edge so she could beat her mom.

Or like Stiles, who had all that stuff going on with his dad….which Scott repeatedly asked him about, tried to help with, even after Stiles physically and verbally attacked him, locked him out of the car when Scott tried to go with him to find the chimera who attacked his dad, went ahead and while still wounded and hurting from being murdered less than a day before, found the chimera so he could save Stiles’ dad anyway DESPITE Stiles petulantly refusing his help even when it was his dad’s life on the line because holding a grudge apparently takes precedence over his dad’s health which is what takes precedence over Scott’s murder which is…what he’s holding a grudge about, that Scott was off busy being a corpse while his dad was getting attacked by a chimera none of them had any idea even existed before that day.

Or like Lydia, who was comatose in Eichen House because of what Theo did….which is why Scott went and got Kira back from the Skinwalkers, begged Stiles and Malia to put aside their issues with him and help, put aside his own issues with Liam who’d just been trying to help murder him a few days before, all so he could rescue Lydia from Eichen House, a process which got him severely electrocuted and hurt on top of the sucking chest wound he still had from you know, being murdered, and which Stiles got all the credit for despite Scott having to plead with him to even get him involved at all.

I mean, you really got me. I had completely failed to consider that all these characters had their own issues and drama going on and preoccupying them while Scott was selfishly neglecting them and not caring at all, so why SHOULD they have been able to find a spare moment or ounce of compassion to show their friend who’d just been MURDERED, its not like Scott was willing or able to multitask and care about their issues and help with those even while dealing with like, say, still being wounded and hurt from that time he was murdered a few days ago without any emotional trauma resulting that whatsoever.

I bow to your superior interpretation of canon AND my own thoughts on the matter! I see now that the points you raised AREN’T completely off topic and not at all relevant to the issue I thought I was demonstrating, and in fact, your completely ignoring the actual content of my post and substituting  your own version of what I said is really the best thing that ever could have happened to my post! And its actually not at all the totally predictable and often-relied upon method anti-Scott fandom loves trotting out to derail any and every discussion about him they don’t like because they can’t actually refute on its own merits. Aka just about every discussion ever had in this fandom about Scott.

Anyway, now that I have seen the light, I would like to thank you for taking time out of your day to share these insights with me so I can stop being the clearly bitter and resentful one here, and have the peace and happiness that eluded me for so long while I labored under dumb ideas like OMG WHAT IF SCOTT’S FRIENDS CARED THAT HE WAS MURDERED.

I don’t want to take up any more of your time or energy, and I really don’t think there’s anything you could possibly add at this point that would shed further light or clarity on this matter, so please don’t feel you have to send any followup asks on this matter, I’ll just delete them so as to save us both time and trouble, alrighty?

Thanks again and have a nice day! You’ve been SWELL.

[11toe11-blog]

Baal ki Khaal ~ Skin the Hair

Much happened. Well. Happenings were not much in the outer realms but conversations. Wrestles. 

Anger flung and received and flung right back. As valid counter points. 

Anger flung and received and passed on. to plates.

Hair cuts, that had nothing to lose because they were on their way to a shave.

Lets keep quiet for a few days. 

And a newspaper in print. A lock down extension. Resting lazing squirrel, ambling away when a friend visits and the woodpecker taking the couch. The corner of the tree felt like the laze zone or the park bench.

I thought there would be so much to write about yesterday. Nothing much other than the haircuts, and the image of the trees, and sharing measurements with mom with the big Homelite matchbox as the yardstick, planning to start stitching lessons with mom starting thursday, and long conversation with S. And in the long wrestle that spanned weeks many, something of a comprehension of each other however elusive to attempts at articulation.

I catch a glimpse of my own bias and victimhood tape, projecting reprojecting on the other. Of Course and the other’s projection on me. Conversation on mental health. And responsibility. Important conversations, sure. But cannot happen unless we mutually reach a moment in time. Otherwise it's preaching, one to the other. Or pleading.

And like that yesterday went. 40 degree R announces now. 

___

Today starts.

Body. stretches. Observer. 

Mind going on playing in loop the images from films and clips and virtual news and people. Notice the observer. 

Can I watch the watchman? More profound words were never spoken, again and again in different ways. Can one watch the watch-man?

Can one watch the time-man?

Identities. Association. Disassociation.

A dancer stretching out, working on the split, stretches the psoas and pouring out memories. Identities stored in there. (Gesture of the menstruating woman with open stretched crouching core- has much story to tell, i hear)

Two people attempting suicide, with only one slot available at the moment in deadlands, arguing who needs to be successful.

Memories of a blue colour top, a hand me down from a cousin, lasted almost a decade and past a marriage, with me. Marriage far briefer than the blue beautiful top that was distinctly european in its sleeves and neck. The friendship that continued out of the marriage vaguely trails as the memory of a person.

Identities Disassociation. Maybe one of the outcomes of trauma that points an expereincer of trauma onto the path of finding the Source, what is loosely called spiritual, or deep meaning making, is possibly the experience of the observer. In deep pain, one tends to disassociate.  Becomes at some level aware of the presence of the state of observation, ie truth ie deep meaning. And then embarks unknowingly on that journey as if having picked up a bread crumb trail.

Identities. Disassociation. For an actor that is possibly the main part of the skill building / training. Finding the ability to identify with, empathize with , step into the shoes of any character. And at the same time the ability to leave, disassociate with the identity once the role or exploration is over. Where things get very tricky, however is when we take this exercise that requires immense ability of observation and energy, into something casual. Not knowing how the back end of all this programming and deprogramming works.

Any identification can end up sticking, deep. Blurring the line between the self and the archetype evoked by such an identification. And the archetype rides out of the deep seas on the back of that identification, and spilling into life.

Any disassociation can end up in numbing out, a reverse identification. A fear of identifying with anything on account of the pain. Inability to empathise, associate, relate.

Koodu vittu koodu maral vidya. Usually referred to a shaman leaving his body to inhabit the body or form of another person or animal or being. But the very basics of which is what i suppose the actor performs in the mind scape.

Folk. Classical. Such labels for certain stages. Certain natures of mind.

The lotus flower, the petals opening in mudra is an experience. A very personal experience of opening, taking many weeks, or years to discover. As the meridians are stretched and opened and blocks released. In the body and in life. One gesture learnt is such a lived experience. 

Bansi Kaul spoke of the folk performer who could simply and easily improvise and associate with other performers. His trick according to him, as shared with Kaul is, the repertoire of gestures and songs and walks and all that he learnt from his father over time. So he pulls them out when he feels the need for that particular one, instinctively. This is language no? How we use words? Hence we associate and improvise with others in conversation. 

I wondered this morning of the richness of experience offered by each of the gestures. Richness of embodying that gesture, which holds so many layers within in. Whichever stream i am trained in or not. A human body stretching out its fingers in certain angles, creating a certain effect particular to that body and for that bodymind. 

A quote somewhere said - even if we all did the same exercises and training and ate the same things we will all still be different. Like no two mango trees are the same. No two mangoes of the same treee are the same. No two sides of the same mango taste the same. 

 I begin to, just about begin to understand language and meaning making. That too is too much to say at this point. But yea, i am not as unaware of it as i was yesterday. 

Why bother with taking the skin out of the each hair strand ? baal ki khaal? It's not so much about the baal or the khaal as much as it is about the process of understanding how all this works together. If. If one is to make a baal. But baal grows simply, without me having to make anything. And that's true. That's a stumper. Like something Ramana would say. Be still.  I suppose i am not yet still, so while i wait for that i'll fiddle with the baal.

I am pleased that the haircut of earlier threaded into the baal now. BUt exercise and body work long procrastinated waits. Do i want to show up? Yes. I am ready and oiled and bandaged and all that. But the heaviness , the womb of inertia sending up gentle lulls to my eyelids are soothing, suggesting that it's ok.. Just stay here. Keep typing into the screen. Something or the other will come and you will feel satisfied here also. 

How about looking into that suggestion of VV that he was apparently offered by AV who was offered this by RR, the behavioral scientist. To mythify one story.

The idea quite struck me when he suggested it, on hearing my return gift of my journey in response to his story of his theatre journey. It offers a fundamental shift of perspective, otherwise one is constantly trying to fit the present story into the frame of the myth, shove it all into the shoe.

This suggestion is to make a whole new shoe. With the caveat that once you write a line, you will or delete it. Hmm. That doesn't feel too difficult. Very rarely does backspace feature in this workspace except for spelling correstions.

I noticed somewhere today that when a certain emotional palette / archetype is alive, it becomes the basis of identification with whatever comes one's way. I had sensed the envy alive in me. And while watching the movie - the associations where envy was alive among characters or within the makeup of a character, kept playing back in some way. The pervert was particularly disturbing. 

Or while scrolling insta - a person whom one identifieses with, for having a certain similarity of thought or political position or  whatever, is associated with on the basis of envy. Acquiring tones of aspirational. Unconsciously maybe wanting to be where they are, be who they are, emulating their manner, attire, attitude. 

In my case i experienced it when i came across the insta profiles of GM and RK. Women. From kerala. Performers, dancers, film makers taking theri space and living it. Somewhere that's a point of identification for me, i see. And then its from the lens of envy that the rest of it plays out, stemming from this identification - aspiration, motivation ie - action.

I suppose if one has the capacity for action - then there is room for transformation of this envy, if a wider perspective is available. 

But in the event of not enough energy for action - one plummets into self loathing and deeper insecurities and depressions.

Because i see them as separate from me. If i were to place the hypothesis of the Unified self here- I am not separate from the other. So my envy of them, is an envy of my self. 

I am jealous of myself. 

What madness.

I can imagine a scene in which this person afflicted with envy - is envious of her own self in the mirror. Is envious of herself in the future. Is envious of her child self.  Tremenous dramatic potential. Shoe-rpanaka Lands not very far from Karna and Duryodhana.  This is a solid and interesting enough thread to take onto the floor now.

Any reflection of existing reality, in part, is a reflection of insanity. ONly when the reflection and reflector is vast enough to hold the totality, can sanity be reflected. 

I understand R a lil more. 

Can i explore this - with a vasness. Can i at the same time explore this at its depths.

___

 I entered not for power. I entered for insight and wisdom and illumination for myself and the whole. Guide me so that i don't lose my way, with the light and gems you offer so generously. I leave closing the door gently behind me. Holding with me what is not mine alone but belonging to the whole. May I always remember the whole. 

__

Do i need to spell check and autocorrects before posting this? I wonder.

[urukyra]

Min’atoa Station Post Mortem

Min’atoa Station, my 6-month capstone project for my Game Development course at Yoobee Colleges, in which I fall down a rabbit hole, drown in a pool of tears and learn to make magic.  Or, less poetically, scope too big, lose and remake multiple assets multiple times, and launch a game that falls well short of my goal - yet shows a glimpse of a potentially amazing experience. 

My aim was a linear 3D narrative game - think Gone Home in a Myst type setting with a terrorist theme.. I reckon I got halfway, so there’s only 90% left to go. 

Team vs Solo 

Tutors urged us to push our boundaries, and in my Goodest Boi team I stretched my wings into new areas and thrived. In other teams (whether real or not) I’d felt held back by low expectations. My mantra was ‘play big’. I love to learn, and that means embracing looking stupid, stumbling before you can walk. I chose a solo project, so I’d be propelled to shine, and I was pleased I did. The gasps of surprise from the class even at my prototype were validating. A teacher once said more learners rust out than burn out - having a tutor that believed in me created its own empowerment magic.

New Idea vs Darling 

I was torn between:

A new game, designed for addictive game-play loops, replayability, marketing hooks, commercial 

Min’atoa - unknown market, unproven gameplay, not replayable, huge scope, high risk. 

The gamedev mantra “kill your darlings” echoed in my head. I brainstormed great alternatives that I loved. And yet, YOLO, carpe diem. I left a ‘safe’ life doing what I was told for this. The window was open - now or never.  I’d never “finish” Min’atoa left to my own devices. It needed a structure for existence - the force-field of deadlines, accountability, of expert help. I knew it was too big, so I ‘maimed’ my darling - reduce scope, use existing assets, basic textures, no puzzles - just a story game. That seemed do-able (cue evil laughter). So I talked myself into ‘story-only-Min’atoa.’ Call me crazy, but I don’t regret it.

Tools

I got overwhelmed.comparing narrative tools: Inkle, Twine, Yarnspinner, Ren’Py, Ink. Prairie, Fungus, Novel-software, Scrivener. My author friend Peter cut through my angst by wryly observing that Shakespeare used a quill pen. For my Myst-type story - linear, non-branching, no dialogue - Google docs was fine!  

Writers Block

Although I had a plot, I couldn’t start. Tutor Matt P got me to put story beats in linear time order, then rearrange them into the order the story needed. Write short  ‘memory joggers’ of each plot movement onto Post-It notes. This simple process broke the writer’s block. 

Later, I found myself blocked again, and dedicated an entire week turning these brief notes into strings of story.

Story gating

Player autonomy is a key feature of game design. In game writing, each story elements has to stand on its own in whatever order players come across them, and the plot still has to make sense.  So story games build artificial ‘gates’ to order key story elements (eg in locked rooms), to achieve greater dramatic tension and plot cohesion,  

I fit the plot into the game’s natural gates: portal, balcony, room, and controller balcony, and Arrivals (and later,,Departures) desk drawers; Doors opened with buttons, and crystal docks.. I felt clever making drawer locks, and hiding keys and crystals. The gates were not infallible, but ‘good enough’ in playtesting. 

The downside was, the story game became a puzzle game. It changed how players played, from a slow pace that encouraged reading, to active, testing interactable objects to see what they did. In retrospect, i wish I’d deliberately designed for the slower game feel of Gone Home, where players interact with passive objects whose function was to add atmosphere.

Story Element Workflow

There were 25 notices and 21 letters, each with two gameObjects - players click on a 3D object in the scene, to bring up UI with its matching 2D readable. This meant 92 assets whose materials change when I edit their words. A simple workflow was essential. 

Playtesters noted the 25 notices were easily legible; that removed 25 UI assets. 

For the 21 letters, I felt clever about my idea of stationery. I made stationery (paper, design and font) for each character (Tris, S’tiel, Priestess and Council). Each in-game letter automatically populated its UI stationery with a text string. Instead of 21 UI assets, I only needed four.

I was smug about this at first - I’d polish text; and the UI automatically updated. But for beta, for the first time I had to have textures on all 46 3D documents. It was an awful workflow. I’d play through, click on each letter or notice, bring up UI stationery with its unique string, snip it, create 46 materials from the snips, and tile these to fit each gameObject. 

It was so tedious to change materials, it created a mental barrier to improving the text, even if it was way too long, or made me cringe. I deleted eight noticeboard posters that were too embarrassing. I left “Lorem Ipsum” text on most letters. I wish I’d fixed these. I did find ways to automate this process, but events overtook (see refactoring section) so I didn’t get time to code this.  

Localisation

The more words, the more difficult and expensive is localisation, reducing the potential market, if I were doing it again, I would aim to 

reduce word count dramatically, and use more images

have illegible 3D textures (see for example Zelda, Breath of the Wild) or develop an alien text / symbols

retain the process of populating 2D UI assets with strings, so that it would be easy to populate strings in different languages.

Prioritise Your Intuition

Sam Fleury, Runaway Play gave an NZGDC talk on prioritising your intuition to reduce burnout and improve personal effectiveness. He noted that our tendency to try to ‘push through’ a wall was often driven by feeling unworthy. It often led to bad code (or other work) that had to be redone. 

When I noticed my brain clearly saw the chains of logic, I coded quickly and cleanly When my ‘programming mind’ lost it’s edge, went ‘fuzzy’, if I continued to push I wrote bad code, and felt burnt out. I found it took an active decision to resist the ‘imposter syndrome’ urge to push on. I’d step back, take a rest, or pivot to a task that used another part of the brain (art or story).  

I took note of sunshine, various foods, coffee and rest affected my focus and set up the right environment. Dancing barefoot on the grass is great therapy.

More often than not, when I came back I’d see a bigger picture, and pivot to a different priority, or to a fresh, cleaner approach. I’d never pivot when I was nose to the grindstone. 

I heartily recommend this practice. It was vital for a solo dev on a big scope game.  Pacing myself was not costly, I wrote better code in less time with less stress. And it might seem obvious, but burnt out, tired devs don’t make games that are fun, intriguing, and delightful,

Attributions  

I wanted assets that left the option open to allow commercial use. This hugely limited choice for the game’s many imported assets: ~20 sound effects, music,  five fonts, five paper textures and plugins, . 

I recommend designing a good filing system for attributions. I did record them as I went, but not in one place. Finding them months later cost time I’d rather spend on my game. 

Brian and I made most of the images and icons from scratch. But right at the end I realised an image used fan art I’d made for #Myst25 from Riven, a game by Cyan Worlds, Commercial use violated their very generous terms for fan art.

I wrote to Cyan, saying I’d remove it, but it’d be a lovely Easter egg for Myst fans. Hannah Gamiel, Director of Development, Cyan Inc immediately wrote back to give permission to use it, which was typical of the lovely Cyan approach to their fans. 

Refactoring

We’d planned for Brian being away for 3 months OE, but didn’t factor in a month to reinstate his melted server and hospital with pneumonia. Since Yoobee had only Unity 2018, I’d coded the prototype, Sabotage, from scratch in 3 weeks. 

Once Yoobee got Unity 2019, I reverted to Min’atoa with Brian’s code, which was robust and elegantly effective, But since we were both new to Unity it used unusual approaches - event signals, listeners via parented assets, and master controllers with enums. After painfully watching me struggle, my tutor Woody spelt out the stark choice: strip out Brian’s code and he’d help me rebuild it, or struggle on alone. 

I chose to strip it out. I really wanted to step up at coding, and Woody was brilliant at it. Although Min’atoa would not be finished to the level I wanted in other areas, I could do the writing and art later.  

Deleting two years of scripts left 416 fatal errors; removing ‘missing scripts’ from assets took hours. It would be an enormous task to rebuild. I brutally trimmed my asset list of Brian’s features (a fully functional inventory, and putting items down). and features I’d planned (writing, art, animations, codes and puzzles). 

Then I got intensive tutoring from Woody. I learned: 

keep it simple - add complexity only as required 

use prefabs - get one asset completely right, then 20 others work 

get the essentials (story gates) working - doors, drawers, lifts and locks. .. 

Within a month, most of the functions worked again. My crowning achievement was replacing Brian’s inventory with a scroll-selectable list that appears on hover (over a lock that takes multiple items) and shows what carried items fit in. 

I was also pleased to get different endings working (including one that pivots the whole scene).  I’ll never know what Min’atoa would be if I’d made the other decision, but I do know I would not have learned as much as I did.

The biggest code drawback was no inventory for the 21 letters,they’re just lost . The player can’t refer back to any letter they’d collected. Woody had shown me how to do it, but I spent the remaining time fixing bugs I had, and improving art and gameplay. This is such a major drawback that if I get time, I’d like to issue a patch for it, and I (think) I now know enough to do it. . 

Result 

I launched a game that I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I have another game in my public itch.io portfolio. Overall, for pretty much a solo game made in a limited time, it showcases my capabilities and adds to my credibility as a  game developer. 

On the other hand, I wish it were more fun, that the story was better, the puzzles more difficult, the game design was more complete. The main failing with the game was the story. I have so much to learn and I plan to fully engage with expert writing mentors next year to learn to

create empathy and connection with the main characters 

reveal through what’s not said, rather than tell

reduce word count (strict 140 character limit per item) 

use environmental storytelling.

Given the need to limit scope, I only included very basic puzzles, that were not at the level of complexity or engagement of good competitors, like Aporia or Eastshade. Brian and I had designed more complex puzzles, but specifically removed those for scope reasons. If I were to do it again, I would prioritise adding to the puzzle component in simple ways such as:

embed hidden clues, codes and hints

add images, sketches and drawings . 

Not having clues to choose different endings is a major omission. For much of the development, I placed puzzle items to make life easy for me, rather than for the player’s satisfaction, The player finds them in obvious places, one after the other repetitively, instead of having to use deductive reasoning.

I would put more time into thinking about how to make it fun for the player to discover hidden items, work out lore-logical places for them, and hint at their location rather than make it so obvious. 

Conclusion

There are definitely things I want to improve in Min’atoa Station, but for now, the game is out ‘as is’. 

Next time I’d invest time early to “find the fun”. Find the fun in the story, puzzles, and gameplay from the player’s perspective as early as possible and build from a solid base of a proven enjoyable gameplay experience. 

At the end, my measure is not even the game. but instead what I have learned. I'm a person with new skills. Looking back my progress seems humbling and miraculous. In 2017, I first clumsily opened Photoshop, my first ever digital tool. In 2019, I made Min’atoa Station, a credible 3D game. Without diminishing Brian’s enormous contribution, or that of my tutors, it was ‘my game’. I designed the world, characters, story, gameplay, modeled and textured 3D assets, 2D assets, the menus, animations, lighting, audio, did the voice acting,  used many plugins and more..I ended up coding everything, I listened and learnt, I asked for help and got lots, I struggled and fought and.. Lo. 

As I reflect on the end of my time at Yoobee, my journey as a game developer has been, and I hope will continue to be, intense and exhilarating. To me, it’s been an incredible privilege to learn to make worlds from my imagination come to life. 

[chirpyann]

Writing Inspiration, because advice is whack!

This is simply what I have learned about the writing process since I started writing in 2015. I don’t have a degree in English or any specialized training. I’m not published, but I hope to be. I’m just a woman who took the time to look things up and by trial and error, found what worked best for me. I present my findings to you, with the hope you’ll find inspiration and confidence, because if I can do this, anyone can.

Please visit your kitchen now. You’re going to need a whopping grain of salt.

Thoughts that have changed the way I view my personal success (have your grain of salt ready?):

Personal success is all that matters. Don't compare yourself to other writers except maybe to say, if they can achieve success so can I.

Always tell yourself you can. If the word "can't" enters your mind, remind yourself it's not your word, but the word of all the people who are wrong. Be right, say the right thing to yourself. Say, "I CAN!"

Be OK with good enough. Perfection is fantasy, it doesn't exist. My turning point was deciding to be happy with completion. I learned, and took to heart, this lesson from Brandon Sanderson (Mistborn Trilogy, The Reckoners Series, so much more) He has said, and I’m paraphrasing, If I never get published and I die with a closet full of unpublished manuscripts, it's all right, because I spent my life doing something I love.

Be inspired. Inspiration doesn't have to come from places that label themselves inspirational, like posters, speakers, etc... Find it anywhere. Find the things that light that fire in your gut. The things that make you want to write and never stop. For me, it's seeing comments from other writers—twitter and facebook posts, about how they're progressing on their own work. If they're getting ready to publish, I'm motivated to get there too. I watch Booktube videos. Listening to people talk about what they like and don't like about the books they read can provide validation and insight. Especially when what they like or don’t like can be found in what I've written. I also like to think that someday they'll talk about my book and won't that be fun!

Listen to everything other writers have to say about their process and try it with the following in mind...

There is no right way to write.

Anyone who says "How to" or "The best way" or "You need to" is only stating an opinion. Don't take any advice as fact. Especially mine.

After you try their method and it doesn't work, realize it's not because you're a failure, it's because their method isn't right for you. Throw it out, try something else. But hoard it in a safe place, because maybe this method would work if you tried it in combination with some other method. Even the process is a process.

Be happy for other writers successes. Never be jealous or think you can't get there. Remember, they started with crap too, they just worked their ass off and didn't stop when it got tough. They found a way to keep going. You just have to find your way too.

Read good books to become a better writer. Read bad books to find the flaws in your own work and to become a better writer. READ EVERYTHING. Read outside your genre and comfort zone. READ EVERYTHING.

First drafts are always, always, always, crap. Did I mention always? ALWAYS! Just write it. Don't scroll up. Even if you have a great idea about how to fix something you've already written, NEVER. SCROLL. UP! Make a note, highlight it and keep writing like you already made the change. Fix it in revisions, because the first draft is ALWAYS CRAP!

Grammar and punctuation don’t matter, that's what editing is for.

Plot holes don't matter, that's what second drafts and beta readers are for.

Prose doesn't matter, that's what revisions are for.

Write everything. Don't censor yourself. Don't revise before you've even written it down. Don't worry about whether or not something works or makes sense. If it's in your head, get it on paper. “You can't edit a blank page” (Nora Roberts), so write it down and if you find, during revisions, it’s bad—delete it. Don't put yourself in a position to regret not writing down what you wish you had written. WRITE IT!

Set goals. Whatever kind of goals work for you. If you need to set a daily word count goal, do it! If you just set a goal to write something, no matter how little, do it. The only goal I have, that pushes me, is to get my manuscript to the point I can submit query letters.

Don't enforce your goals to the point they discourage you. Change your goals to suit your mood and don't worry if you don't meet your goals. Remember, be happy. And if goals aren't making you happy or inspiring you to write, then throw them out!

Nothing you do is wrong. Writing is a creative process. Creative processes are personal—individual. You are not and will never be like anyone else. But here's the kicker, no one else will ever be like you. Only you can write the story in your head and you are the best person to tell that story.

“Beware of advice—even this.” (Carl Sandburg)

Don't listen to me. Find your own way, because I’m most likely            wrong.

Seriously. See number 5.

My process (please refer to number 5 and 13-15 and don’t forget your grain of salt):

I follow my own advice and don't do anything that doesn't work. What works for Project A may not work for Project B. I'm fluid in my process. I tried being rigid— planning—but all it did was give me “block.” When I decided not to conform to any rules or anyone's advice and instead decided to use their advice and rules as inspiration, I started writing without hesitation.

Right now, I’m a pantser. Which means I write by the seat of my pants. I don’t outline—ever.

I world build, but only as a way to spew out ideas. It’s like a wish list or a “wouldn’t that be cool” list. There’s no form or structure to my world building. It’s just pages upon pages of jumbled up thoughts. The closest thing I get to structure in my world building is lists of character names all in one place, so I don’t lose them, but that doesn’t always work out either, because I run out of room. I use a TON of post-it notes.

Remember, this might not work for you. Maybe you need structure. Or maybe you need a mix and maybe that mix is; 2% pants, 10% structure, 10% procrastination, 60% distraction, 15% daydreaming, and 3% writing. Whatever you find that works for you is 100% right!

If I'm stuck I do these things (check your hand, where’s your salt?):

I recognize that it's me, not some shapeless thing (writer's block.) I take ownership of my "block." I know I'm only stuck because I'm trying to take too much control. Maybe I want the character to go to the store and meet a friend, but I can't write it. The words aren't coming, I'm stuck, I'm blocked. Why can't I write something so simple!? Because they don't want to go to the store and see a friend. They want to go jump in a lake and be alone, because that's what they need right now and they'll go to the store later or maybe not. I'm stuck because I need to let the characters and story breathe and live their own lives. Even if the scenes I didn’t plan don't make the final draft, or the plot goes completely awry, it's OK, because I can revise something I've written (see number 9 above.)

Lots and lots of talking to myself. I think about my story and my characters and talk it through (not necessarily out loud, but sometimes—in the car, by myself.)

I pretend to be my characters and have them talk to each other. I write these conversations down or record them in the voice recorder on my phone. I’ve found my dialogue is a lot more natural doing this. I think I'll always do this, until I don't, because I won't do anything that doesn't work. And I'll know when it doesn't work, because I'll get “block.”

I give myself permission to do other things. But when I'm in the bathroom or doing the laundry or have a moment of silence, I think to myself "I can't wait to get back to writing!" I make sure my thoughts are always positive. I try not to say "I should be writing." If I start putting guilt or shame on myself, I know I'll quit. Event not writing is part of the writing process for me.

I listen to music and think about my project. Usually, eventually, a song will come on that makes me think of one of my characters and I'll get going again.

I do research. I research my setting (if it’s in our world) to see if I’m being genuine enough. I look up my characters Zodiac signs to see if the way I wrote them matches that signs personality description. Then I throw most of it out when I remember, it’s my book, I can do what I want! And I go back to writing.

I make character aesthetic boards on Pinterest. It’s just fun.

I start to read something that I think sucks. And when I think to myself, "I can do better than this" it lights a spark of competition for me to keep going.

I dream. I dream of going on book tours and signing autographs. Of getting fan art and posting it on my website. But I have to constantly tell myself that if I never achieve this, it's ok (see number 3 above.) It would be cool, but I'm happy with nothing but a finished story. Since I've spent so much of my life unhappy with myself, I come back to reality and enjoy how happy I am right now because I didn’t give up.

My personal Tips and tricks (Has your grain of salt dissolved yet? Get a new one. You’re going to need it):

Brackets [ ]: If I need a character name or town name, I put a description in brackets and keep going. For example [shop owner], [brother], [city]. Anything that I can't think of right now, I bracket a reminder and keep moving. Leigh Bardugo (Six of Crows) was my inspiration for this method.

NOTES (Much like the brackets): Sometimes I know what I want to write, but I don't feel like writing it at that moment, because something further in the story is begging to be written, so I'll make a note and highlight it. For example, NOTE: This is when [Character A] should break into the bank and there should be someone to stop them but I don't know who or how. I also put in a note when the story has taken an unexpected turn and I'll need to fix something 50 pages up in my revision. Inline notes help me organize thoughts and keep me moving (see number 8 above.)

I write in Notepad and copy/paste into a word processor like Word. I do this, because it allows me to ignore formatting. I don't worry about it looking pretty—indentation, spacing, etc... I just hit enter to start new lines for new paragraphs or dialogue and that's it. So it's just write, write, write, enter; write, write, enter, etc... I get way more words in a day this way, because I find I do a lot less inline editing. Notepad also doesn't have spell check, so I'm not distracted or annoyed by those stupid red, squiggly lines. (Yes, I know you can turn this off and write this way in a Word document, but there’s that stigma that I have to write a certain way in Word and I don’t have that stigma attached to Notepad.) Notepad allows me to make mistakes and not care about them.

I listen to music I don't listen to any other time. I don't listen to dub-step for enjoyment, but I find it easy to ignore and the constant driving beat keeps me going. Since I don't listen to music I love while I write, I'll never have to worry about getting sick of my music or associating music I enjoy with a project I hated. (BTW, this and the notepad thing are processes I discovered on my own. It’s possible other people do this, but I haven’t seen it. Proof, in my opinion, that everyone has their own way, they just have to find it.)

At the end of the day, be proud of what you accomplished, no matter how much you think the writing sucks, be proud that you're doing it.

I wish you good words and swift fingers.

Acknowledgements:

Thank you, my husband, for continuing to give me so much of this advice, even when I couldn’t hear it. Thank you for telling me I can, when I said “I can’t.” I wouldn’t be where I am without you.

Thank you, Em, for giving me an excuse to write all of this down. You inspire me.

Links to my inspiration:

I have tried to attribute as much as I can to specific people. Below are links to websites and people who have inspired me. I acknowledge this list may be incomplete. If you see the need for me to add attributions, please leave information in the comments and I will update this post. Thank you.

Brandon Sanderson BYU lectures 2016

Booktubers:

Katytastic

polandbananasBOOKS

TheBookLeo

The Sheep and the Wolf

PeruseProject

Facebook pages:

writershelpingwriters 

TheWriteLifeGroup 

writerscircle 

Goodreads

BookishBuzz

Websites/blogs (I will have to add to this. Apparently I didn’t bookmark everything):

Nat Russo

Additional inspiring things:

Twitter hashtags I follow:

#WriteTip OR #WritingTip OR #WritersBlock OR #WritersLIfe (put this in a search column in Tweetdeck) I also have a collection column to save my favorite tweets.

Books, liked and disliked, off the top of my head, that have inspired me:

In no particular order...

The Strange and Beautiful Sorrows of Ava Lavender (Leslye Walton)

Six of Crows (Leigh Bardugo)

Steeleheart (Brandon Sanderson)

You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Felicia Day)

The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)

The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)

Dead Until Dark (Charlaine Harris)

Shatter Me (Tahereh Mafi)

Harry Potter 1-7 (J.K Rowling)

Matilda (Roald Dahl)

Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher (Bruce Coville)

The Giver (Lois Lowry)

Graceling (Kristin Cashore)

Tesser: A Dragon Among Us (Chris Philbrook)

The Odyssey (Homer)

Hell House (Richard Matheson)

Throne of Glass (Sarah J Maas)

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (C.S. Lewis)

#amwriting #writing #writers #inspiration #writing inspiration

[topicprinter]

Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Gabriele Contilli of Rocket PPC, a brand that sells pay per click consulting services.Some stats:Product: Pay per click consulting services.Revenue/mo: $30,000Started: January 2018Location: Reggio EmiliaFounders: 2Employees: 1Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?Hi everybody, my name is Gabriele Contilli and I am the co-founder of Rocket PPC - a Pay per Click agency based in Italy with a highly-experienced team of specialists.When Pasquale and I decided to launch our own agency, we had 3 clear objectives:To specifically hire highly-talented and experienced peopleTo start and to stay fully-remoteTo work only for large clients and/or promising startupsThe main idea behind Rocket PPC is to grant our customers the highest level of PPC management and help them discover new ways of growing their businesses through online advertising.As marketers, we truly believe that Pay per Click is - nowadays - the best channel to grow any business and help CMOs and CEOs reach their business and marketing goals. It is the only way to support a business in this unstable and unpredictable market scenario, in which any goal can be changed, deleted, or modified in a matter of days.We started our business with a very underrated business plan: our goal was to reach our break-even point (100k) in the first 12 months. The first year has been a true success and we exceeded our original expectations by reaching a double amount.Our main KPI, however, was the churn rate of our clients: we were willing to keep it as low as possible, in order to keep growing on solid basis year over year. After the first 12 months, we only lost 10% of our clients due to internal changes and not to our errors or fault. I this way we were able to plan a second year with a +50% in revenues that drove us in the 30k/monthly revenue range.imageWhat's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?Pasquale and I work in the digital marketing field since… ever! We started when Facebook was not yet existing - so you can imagine how many things have changed in all those years. We first met in a large web marketing agency in Italy and we worked together for a couple of years, side by side for large clients.After that, we both followed our growing path working on the client side or in other agencies, trying to get the best from all our jobs. It took something around 4-5 years to finally start talking seriously about our “dream job”.We both wanted to start our own thing: a Pay per Click consultant service without compromises.We are aware that digital marketing is not a perfect field and even if it allows to create mathematical models and to draw graphs and projections, it is almost impossible to define the results of each activity. That is, of course, alright, but many agencies and freelancers consultants use this unpredictability as a “shield” to protect themselves and their work from client’s objections.We, however, wanted a new model, in which we were able to make a real difference in client’s business.That is why we decided to sell PPC services and leave all the other “marketing services” outside: with Pay per Click you can obtain quick results and validate marketing ideas, so companies can better decide their next business goals. You can also make hypothesis in terms of budget and revenues , so clients have something to rely on beyond your promises.Take us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product.When we decided that we were ready to launch our own agency, we started analyzing startup costs and break-even point. It was not very hard because we decided to restrict initial costs and let us say: start small!We ran a simple business plan including:Minimum salaryFixed costsTools and Hardware% overall marginWe expected a slower launch, but we made a ** 2.5x in revenues**. That’s an important lesson for anyone who is planning to launch a business: plan & analyze as long as needed, but get ready that your assumptions can always get better tuned!Since we had a significant experience with the Italian digital marketing area, the process of launching our company was quite easy:We analyzed all the contacts and potential clients we could reach in the first 6 monthsWe also checked all the active contracts or projects we recently worked on in our spare timeAt the end of the process, we had something between 10 and 20 potential customers to contact and start proposing our services.In addition, another important theme was our ability to send out highly specific quotes: we sent out files with budgets, ideas of campaigns and paid channels to activate, and even revenues and overall ROAS. These are preliminary analysis that beat our competitors since we were able to actually generate models and make accurate predictions for our clients.The first 10 clients signed a contract with us in less than 90 days.Launching Rocket PPC was very easy. During the few last months before our first presentation to the digital marketing world, I worked in order to get the first clients onboard. During that process, I was mainly exposing an idea to them rather than a real agency. We also had friends and ex-teammates who were working with clients that we would have liked to collaborate with them, so I simply contacted them and explained what we were going to do.Our expertise and our preliminary analysis seemed to be a good warranty for them.Once I heard Eric Siu and Neil Patel in a podcast saying “Start a business when you are around 30s” and I think that’s a great advice. If you start a business when you’re 32 or 35 years old, you should already have good connections in you market: if you browse your LinkedIn network or your address book, you should see a lot of opportunities in them and that’s a great way to start something especially in the Consulting field.You also need a professional image, and it is very important to work on it before starting.We decided to create our brand image since the beginning, even if with a very “simple style”. We found out a small design studio in our area and decided to hire them to:Define our logo and brand identityHelp us create templates for PowerPoint and Word documentsDevelop our websiteHaving these materials helped us sending out, in the first weeks, very professional quotes and analysis: I am pretty confident that this attention to detail helped us a lot in winning some clients against other agencies or consultants.imageSince launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?Our business is basically based on relationships and proven results. We can be the best in class but we need connections with people to have a chance to “sell” our services and our results. Especially in Italy, the market is full of digital marketing agencies which are composed of 50% or more by sales people. We are not.Our marketing strategy is simple: do the best you can to provide results, document them and attract new customers with similar needs.That makes our best “sales weapon” our actual customers who can spread the word about us and help Rocket PPC build new relationships and connections. We have been lucky enough to start with highly prestigious clients since we started, and as we were expecting, good clients lead to other good clients.But I have to be honest: since Rocket PPC was our first entrepreneurial adventure, we were not totally aware of actual costs of it, thus we started by accepting all kinds of clients in the first 6-10 months in order to “make money to pay bills”. We knew that it was important for us to reach our business goals and since we did not know how the sales process could affect our revenues, we basically seized every opportunity. I have to say now, 18 months later, that this was not a good strategy. If you want to work with highly prestigous clients, you should only go for them and ignore the others even if it seems “quick money” to help your growth. Managing and onboarding small clients usually requires the same effort as big ones, but revenues are incomparable.My “Pro” tip is: define your market positioning and stay consistent. It could be hard at the beginning, but it is important to laser-focus your energies and send out consistent messages to your audience.You also may notice that Rocket PPC is highly specific and there is a real reason behind it: we were also seeking the possibility to “connect & partner” with other agencies without feeling competitors. Thanks to this, in the very first months of our agency, we have been contacted by 3-4 agencies that would need our specific services for their clients. We do not work “behind the scenes” since we need to speak directly with clients, but it is a strategy that works since it is a win-win: we gain a new client, the client gets a high-level PPC management, and the other agency gets a happier client and usually a referral fee (10-15% on the contract value).imageHow are you doing today and what does the future look like?I’m glad to say that we are profitable, and with higher gross margins than a “normal” agency in Italy. We cut down costs (no offices) and increase profitability by selling a professional consulting service.Today we are focusing on putting ourselves in front of other big clients, and expand our team.It is usually hard to have a chance with this kind of clients, but we are pretty confident that our network and good case studies would help us to become the agency we wanted from the beginning. During the second year we started sending out real case studies to prospects and attend at web marketing conferences with dedicated speeches and workshops. Talking with people and prospects during conferences is always a good idea if you work in the consultancy field: you can share with them ideas and suggestions and if you give them value, they usually “want more” from you.So, do not be afraid to share your knowledge and give suggestions and tips for free to prospects. It’s usually a good way to show your skills and your passion and people love it. If you can create a real trust, then they will buy from you.Our gross margins are now quite high: since a lot of work is done by Pasquale and I, these are on average between 60% and 80%.At this point we are obviously discussing about growth of our company. We want to hire new talented people and define work processes, but that is not easy either.Let me be honest, sometimes we also question the “growth”. Do we really need to grow? How big?I mean, we are happy with our revenues, clients and workflows: adding more people, especially in a full-remote team, may require extra procedures, more controls, and usually, lower quality. You have to carefully choose collaborators and employees and that is not easy. A couple of months ago we added Andrea to the team. Hiring Andrea was easy: he is a +10 years experienced PPC guru, with a lot of personal skills that are perfect for Rocket PPC, and more importantly, we already knew him and trusted his expertise by experience. You know, finding people with all these characteristics in one place is not easy. How can you fully trust people and test them before hiring?We are an agency based 100% on people: on their talent, skills, and passion. It is difficult to find people that truly fits in your company vision and mission.So the point is: can we keep going on with our actual setup (maybe with a couple of other people) and keep getting new clients and avoiding the “usual” descending curve in quality of a high-growing company? Or not?Who knows… we will find out in the next few months, or maybe years!Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?Shut your fears up.It is not easy to leave your casual work and start your own thing, but if you keep listening to that voice inside you every single day telling you “quit your job and start your own business” well.. you know you’ll get there, sooner or later.We did it in a 6 months period, just to be sure to “prepare ourselves” and save a bit of money for the first months. I think that it is important to have some money in your pocket before starting a company because you need to be calm and confident with no fears about you upcoming future in terms of money and sustainability.What platform/tools do you use for your business?We use Slack for team communications and for clients too. It works just fine. We don’t like it for calls (it is a bit buggy on that side) so we usually switch to Google Hangout just for video calls.Asana is our project management tool and it is great even if some very useful features are only available at the most expensive plans. The most absurd missing feature is time tracking: we actually need to use Toggl as a third piece of software to just track time spent on specific tasks in Asana and that’s not so useful. I hope they will add this feature quite soon.All the emails and file storage are in Google Suite: Gmail is by far the best email provider and Google Drive just works fine, so it is easier for us to have all in one place.What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?A lot! I read all 37Signals’ books and I think that a lot of my mindset has been shaped by them.I think that ReWork is by far the best business book I read in the last 12 years: it is quite easy but it reshaped the idea of having a business several years ago and I think that is fascinating.Now a lot of companies do smartworking, agile meetings and so on, but 37 signals guys were among the first… in 1999!Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Do not focus on money. Oh well, you should have a Business Plan and a clear vision of you revenue goals but do not let it drive your business.Remember that any kind of business is based on trust: do what you are good at, be nice and transparent and money will follow.Are you looking to hire for certain positions right now?We are hiring PPC Specialists with +4 years in experience. Want to try? Join us.Where can we go to learn more?https://rocketppc.it/https://www.facebook.com/rocketppc/https://www.linkedin.com/company/rocketppc/If you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!Liked this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.For more interviews, check out r/starter_story - I post new stories there daily.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM

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