#I haven’t watched sex education and I’m not going to tbh

[ratatattouille]

why are teen shows and r-rated films the only places where gay people are allowed to kiss

#everything now #young royals #yellowjackets #heartstopper #sex education #I haven’t watched sex education and I’m not going to tbh #love victor #bottoms 2023

[olderthannetfic]

Ah, I do see your points, anon. I'm not going to post all your asks publicly because if you really feel that unsafe, it's probably best not to have a bigass chunk of your text for people to analyze and try to guess your identity from. I think one of the best points you made is about how close to home it hits when the non-fave is not only your fave but is similar to you in some way like demographic. You're not wrong for having those emotions. I do wonder if they make it hard to see how some other people feel similarly embattled on other axes.

TBH, I think one of the big problems here is that the large aggregate patterns you're talking about are racist, but most individual fics and fans are not really the problem. It's hard to know how to talk about this or who to tell to "fix" it when we're looking at free, hobbyist art.

A lot of people's tastes are certainly formed by shitty society, but once they're formed, they don't change fast if at all. Asking someone to rewrite their libido is a big ask, yet tumblr does it all the time as though it's as simple as snapping your fingers.

This leaves me with the sense that a lot of tumblr is... like... the political lesbians of porn fic or something: desire is not real, only choosing based on logic and politics. Or maybe people are so asexual that they just don't understand the lizard brain's "YES!" at some porn things and complete indifference to others?

I don't think it's great if great swaths of people feel like bottom!Nicky is super hot and top!Nicky fundamentally isn't, but I also don't think they can necessarily just turn it off like flipping a switch.

(If someone reading this doesn't like their current tastes and wants to attempt to alter them, I do think it's possible. What you should do is line up a large slate of media that prominently features characters of the ethnicity or whatever that you don't find hot/interesting. These should be leads whose emotional development drives the plot and is supposed to be central to the audience's enjoyment of the media. Watch/read/etc. this media all the time. All. The. Time. Try out many pieces because you won't like every character or every show, and we're looking for genuine enjoyment, not the fandom equivalent of a pity fuck. Spend enough time on this, and your unconscious sense of who's hot and interesting will eventually shift somewhat. This is a project you should expect to take a few years.)

But I digress.

The one tweet thing is a very toxic pattern. If TOG fandom is doing that, guys, please try to be more conscious of holding the actors of color to a higher standard (or the women or whomever). I know this often comes from a place of paying more attention to our own and wanting to set a good standard, but the effect is that minorities can't fuck up ever while white dudes get infinite passes.

Okay, on to the fic thing... Gotta say, my instant reaction to that description is "Ooh!"--as it would be for the same scenario with the characters reversed. (Ships who start out trying to kill each other are my favorite! x1000 if they're resurrecting style immortals and they literally do.) I can see how it would feel like slamming into a brick wall if you aren't kinky in just the right way and you didn't know it was coming though.

Part of why I react so strongly to a lot of discourse that runs along these lines is that I am a naturally extremely kinky person. It's not so much about what I do (which as a deeply lazy person in a long distance relationship is essentially nothing), but it's absolutely how I'm wired.

And I can tell you that my quotidian experience in fandom is sharing something I don't even realize is a big deal only to have someone I like, respect, and trust react in horror and tell me that it's triggering and awful and should not be allowed in fandom spaces because it makes "people" unsafe. It's such an instant, kneejerk reaction they don't even realize I was sharing it because it spoke to the very core of me. Lesson learned, friend. Lesson learned.

That sounds a bit off topic, I know, but bear with me: The point of that anecdote is that it's pretty common for me to get people trying to raise my awareness of things I have already thought deeply about while denying my essential humanity and not even realizing. As a kinky person who likes to make my fave the top (and generally a conflicted sadist), this constant request to explain and justify is exhausting.

I doubt most of the top!Joe fans have this precise problem simply because people who make their fave the top are much less common in fandom than people who make their fave the bottom, but I see a similar pattern with fans who are just fundamentally wired for rape fantasies (one of the most common fantasies that exists) vs. fans who just don't get rape fantasies at all. Or substitute your BDSM/kinky/messed up fantasy trope of choice. Covertly radical feminist attitudes towards kink and power are on the rise in fandom, and as a naturally kinky person, boy do I notice it!

I know that it feels like crucial activism to share these insights about why the ratio of top!Joe is hurtful, and the pain you feel is real. But it's also the case that it's a big ask to want people to listen. (Not me. Obviously, I routinely choose to engage with discourse. I mean overall.) The reason for that is that you're only seeing a fraction of what they do or who they are, and you don't know how many previous people they've listened to how many previous times. It's a very different situation from someone whose job is making some major TV series or movie or something. That person does, in my opinion, owe you some amount of listening.

Now, I'm not saying no top Joe fan was ever a jerk. I'll bet they were. There's a tendency to be rude and to publicly air your schadenfreude when you feel like everyone has been yelling at you. What I am saying is that a lot of the problem here boils down to conflicting needs, and that means there isn't a good solution. It's a situation where people are genuinely hurt, but I don't necessarily agree that other people have harmed them.

I like that you did an actual count of the explicit fics, btw. It's good to look at the real numbers. I see too little of that in these situations. My off the cuff reaction is that 2/3 to 1/3 is not a bad ratio at all compared to many fandoms, but yeah, it definitely shows a strong trend, and that can be painful. (I have a fandom where I think there's maybe like 1 bottom so-and-so fic in the entire zine era fandom. One. It's pretty extreme.)

I guess my thinking here overall is: What is the practical solution? What are we hoping to gain? What is reasonable to ask of people?

And it can't be "Well, if they would just listen..." That's just a sneaky way of saying "If you haven't done it my way, it's because you haven't listened to me yet."

So the question I would ask of people is this:

What does a non-racist fic where Joe tops look like?

What does a non-racist sex pollen, dubcon, or even noncon fic where Joe tops look like?

And if you say the latter is impossible... well... sadists exist everywhere in the world. So do doms. So do people who prefer to top in a purely physical sense. People with rape fantasies where they're the rapist exist (people who are not actually rapists, I mean). None of this is restricted to any one group. We can't categorically say fic like that about Joe is coming from a place of racism without denying the fundamental humanity of kinky MENA people who'd want to make Joe like themselves or like their ideal partner. (Yes, I agree this won't be the majority of fic writers writing top!Joe, but this is a place to start for figuring out what the better version would look like.)

IDK, maybe you're that kinkster yourself, but your asks gave me the vibe that you don't really get the drive towards those darker kinds of fics and what might be motivating it besides stereotypes and shittiness.

If we can answer these kinds of questions, we can better critique the way people write what they write without telling them all of their taste is bad and they should just stop writing. Even if we think the latter is true, it isn't going to get us anywhere. Figuring out how to make Joe more multidimensional in the fic they already want to write or finding very specific wording that should be avoided might actually work.

Beyond that, the actions I think are productive would be running prompt fests, exchanges, or other events for bottom!Joe or for top!Joe where he's the main character and the fics are required to be from his POV. Themed collections and recs lists are great. (I've seen a bit of this going around in TOG fandom in the past, and that's an excellent approach! Keep it up!) Positive actions tend to work better here. Make more of what you want. Promote what you want to see.

I don't mean this in some fluffy magical thinking way: you aren't going to change that ratio radically just by the power of positivity. But I've seen this kind of thing play out in many, many fandoms, and going after the people who write what you don't like, even in a well-intentioned effort to educate and even in a polite, kind way doesn't do much. A few people feel guilty. A few feel defensive. A lot ignore you. The overall fic doesn't change. It's not a good use of your limited time and energy.

I'm off to look up that fic to see what I think of it in practice, but I'm going to post this before tumblr manages to eat it.

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Julian’s playlist:

Arabella - Arctic Monkeys

He’d liked it in a straight boy football beer way rather than indie kid record player way, they give of drastically different vibes you know??

Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

More Arctic Monkeys, it’s honestly a miracle Julian didn’t live to see them form cause God he would be too powerful upon hearing this song.

Do It All The Time - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Again self explanatory, I feel like all the songs I chose for Julian are super basic but I’m feeling stressed today and needed someone simple to do XD

Girls and Boys - Blur

I feel like I include this song in most like fuck boy playlists of which Julian is obviously a part. It almost definitely wasn’t meant in this way but it clearly has bi vibes these days which is very Julian. Jk but like it’s just like a fuck boy bastard atmosphere which I fully vibe with like same Julian we’re both bastards. And what??

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At The Disco

I know Julian was married and had a kid and everything so certainly wasn’t a bachelor but because he kinda lived that life still it feels like his death was super influenced by his lifestyle.

The Cult of Dionysus - The Orion Experience

See above XD

I’ll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men

I love Julian singing this, it’s such a brilliant scene and Mary’s “I don’t want him toooo” is so fucking funny to me!! I want more of the ghosts singing in the next season I think it’s really fun.

Womanizer - Britney Spears

As much as I would murder Julian on sight, I’m not saying that I wouldn’t go there you know…

Country House - Blur

If you know the lyrics, it’s incredibly basic and self explanatory but here are some lines to prove my point: “City dweller, successful fella. Thought to himself oops I’ve got a lot of money. Caught in a rat race terminally”, “I’m paying the price of living life at the limit” “He lives in a house, a very big house in the country”. That’s my explanation.

London Calling - The Clash

I mean it’s the song that’s always used to convey the idea of someone being rich and successful in London, like it’s played with every single rich white boy rocking up to London ready to make a fortune.

you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish

Another song that would make Julian too powerful, please never let that man hear this song. But it gives me Moriarty vibes cause of that line (I haven’t seen Sherlock in years so can’t really remember it) and yeah Julian gives of similar vibes but less consulting killer and more war criminal you know??

Let Down - Radiohead

Basically about watching people in a pub try and hide the empty emotions which I’m obsessed with (I bet you guys can’t figure out what my favourite band is, I’m sure I’ve included them in every playlist tbh). Politics is such an empty industry and everybody involved in any capacity is literally half deceased inside already, you look at them and can see there is simply nothing left behind those eyes *shudder*.

Blah Blah Blah - The Oozes

I adore The Oozes, I think they’re so cool so I obviously had to include this cause it’s basically about the idea of the Tories being scumbags and quote “not a sweet boy” which I think is very Julian. I adore Julian so so so so much, he’s a brilliant character and I love him to pieces but I swear to God if I saw him in real life I would bang his fucking teeth into his pissing Tory head and then reach down his throat to pull them back out again. He’s a bastard and I love him!!

FOR YOUR LOVE - Måneskin

“I wanna leave you alone in the middle of the night”. Yeah there we go.

Die in the Summertime - Manic Street Preachers

I think this is my favourite Preachers song just because the foreshadowing for what was about to happen to Richey is just???? But yeah let’s return to Julian, it’s basically about the lead singer’s idea that it’s better to die in the prime of your life rather than let things go downhill (summertime refering to adolescence, spring being youth, autumn middle age adulthood, winter elder years) so yeah I think very Julian cause he partied and fucked and drank and did drugs and then died prematurely.

Toxic - Britney Spears

Toxic king

Sex with a Ghost - Teddy Hyde

I had to include this for someone but couldn’t decide who, this felt like the obvious choice.

Charmless Man - Blur

“He thinks he’s educated, airs those family shares”. More Blur, more Blur. These descriptions are shit but like I’m tired and ill sooooo.

Don’t Threaten Me with a Good Time - Panic! At The Disco

“Champagne, cocaine, gasoline” like I will scream that line every single time this song plays. Like just so Julian, I can’t wait to find out about Julian’s death cause I just want to be able to laugh at the bastard-man’s antics!! (Irrelevant but apparently this song came out in 2015 but I distinctly remember listening to it aged 12/13 so either my memory of the year 2013 is fucked or someone’s lying about this song.)

Power & Control - MARINA

Bitch is a Tory all he wants is power and control.

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts julian #Spotify

[marinettereadsfics]

Kim Seokjin

Make You Scream  Now, when I say this is a wild ride is because I truly mean it. There is nothing like this out there I assure you. Reese is a mastermind. You won’t regret reading it. [crack, smut, Monsters Inc. AU]

A Lullaby on Canvas  Pure amazing plot and writing. If smut with plot is your thing, you got urself a masterpiece right here. [smut, siren AU, neighbour AU]

Dick n’ Go  It never ceases to surprise me how well thought out their plots are + I laughed at the “five star dick” more than I should have bc I totally see Jinnie pulling that off [smut, crack]

Eight  You may be hesitant to read an octopus hybrid Jin but please, this is so well written its just *chefs kiss* [smut, Hybrid AU]

Folia  I never knew I needed an alien AU until I read this. Do yourself a favour and read it. [smut, Alien AU]

Kiss It Better  A quick but amazing read. Seokjin + crack and f2l?? SIGN ME UP [smut, crack, f2l]

Golden Boy  Love me some amazingly written smut with plot. Because what’s better than Pornstar Kim Seokjin? Neighbour pornstar Kim Seokjin.[smut, Neighbour AU, Pornstar AU]

Better With You  This three part fake dating with kinda chaebol Seokjin is juts *chefs kiss* definitely one of my faves [smut, angst, Fake Dating AU]

Min Yoongi

The Touch of Silk  You know what’s better than vampire Yoongs? Sugar Daddy Vampire Yoongs. Do you even need to know more? [smut, Sugar Daddy AU, Vampire AU]

Talk  One of the most well-written two shots out there. I simply loved it. Most probably read it when I should have been doing homework but hey, Phone Sex operator Yoongi is so worth it. [smut, Phone Sex Operator AU]

Book of The Beasts: From the Ashes  I’m a sucker for anything mythical and this is definitely no exception. It has an amazing plot and build up. 1000/10 [smut, angst, Witch AU, Mythical Shifter AU]

Owner Training  Okay hear me out, I love reading fanfics but I almost never something longer than a one shot bc otherwise I wouldn’t graduate but this. This right here ladies, gentlemen and non binary buddies, is so so worth your time. I’m a sucker for hybrid Yoongi yeah. [crack, fluff, smut, Hybrid AU]

Snake Kisses  If your thing is grumpy Yoongs, mix it a little bit with this amazingly written Hybrid fic and you’ve got: perfection! Danger noodle are my favourite words since I read this. [smut, fluff, Hybrid AU]

Glass  Pure amazing filth by this amazing author. Spare a few minutes and read this masterpiece. Thank You. [smut]

Inheritance  There are a few shots in this one and truth be told you will find yourself reading them all. This one is kinda angsty but it is so so good. Again, grumpy Yoongi hybrid is my fave. [fluff, smut, angst, Hybrid AU]

Demon! Yoongi  I distinctively remember having this one in my to-read list and saying ‘I’ll just read this one and head to bed’ on a school night bc my sleep deprived ass read “2.1 k words” but it really was “22.1k” and so… yeah. It was so amazing I ended up reading it all in one go. Education is important but this Demon Yoongi fic is more important. Don’t quote me on that. [smut, Demon AU] Catharsis  Hello my fellow kinky Yoongi enthusiasts, I bring you an amazing fic full of smut with some amazing plot behind and character development. [smut]

Android!Yoongi Excuse me while I go and weep in a corner. This is a scenario I didn’t know I needed so much. 24k yeah, but it is so so worth it. [smut, angsty, Android AU]

Mighty  I can’t recall details because I tend to read to sleep BUT GRUMPY CAT YOONGI IS A THING. [smut, fluff, Hybrid AU]

Love and Laughter  A quick read, but I’m a sucker for established relationship drabbles. [smut, fluff]

Tonight  If daechwita Yoongs did something to you, spare a few minutes to read this masterpiece. [smut, Historical AU]

Make Me  FRIENDS TO LOVERS + SLEEPOVER. THAT’S IT. [smut]

Bent Will  Heavy kinky stuff ahead. That is about enough. [smut]

Daechwita  The title is pretty self-explanatory. If you haven’t read this masterpiece, I honestly- don’t know where you’ve been. [smut, Historical AU]

Give It To Me  Hello fellow kinky Yoongi enthusiats, again. Shibari is a thing here. Enjoy. [smut]

Want a Taste? 

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it all the time, SMUT WITH PLOT. Yoongi rapper while working in a mall is something I didn’t know I needed. As always, amazing writing and plot. [smut, humour-ish, Mall Worker AU]

Mixtape 

Let me tell ya something, this fic right here has slipped from my fingers more than once, but I just loved it so so much that I’ve spent hours looking for it without remembering the title. A FAVE. Amazing writing and an even more incredible character development. A MUST READ. [smut, fluff, comedy, College AU]

Tsundere 

The pure essence of Yoongi’s life lessons mixed with a tiny bit of bad boy vibe and smut. [angst, smut, College AU]

Tricks of the Trade 

This was such a fun and sexy reading! I LOVED IT SO MUCH. Can you just imagine swapping bodies with your crush okay look no further. Here it is. [smut, humour, fluff, Soulmate AU]

The Singularity Theory 

Three parts of absolutely worthy Min Yoongi smut with plot [smut, comedy, college AU]

Nine Months From Now

SMUT. WITH. PLOT. And a hell of a plot I absolutely love CEO Yoongi [smut, fluff, CEO AU]

To Love an Empress 

Ummm hello? This piece of art is just- idk absolutely brilliant to say the least. I am in love with the writing okay and you know im a sucker for smut with plot.[smut, fluff, Historical AU]

Jung Hoseok

Airplane Pt.2  I’m not saying that I can totally picture Hobi in this scenario but maybe I am. Welcome to the mile high club, everybody. [smut, Sugar Daddy AU]

Fake Love  I’m a cliché lover okay. [smut, fluff, fake dating, enemies to lovers]

Rogue Galaxy  SMUT. WITH. PLOT. May you feel blessed with Kristi’s amazingly written masterpiece. [angst, fluff, smut, alien AU]

Kim Namjoon

Hammer it Home  I started reading this in the middle of my customs and tariffs class and somewhere along the middle I kinda forgot I started reading it BUT MY MY THIS IS *chef’s kiss* one of the most amazing smut with plot I’ve read in a while. [fluff, smut]

The Moment Pleasantly Frightful  Joonie here is a devil, you are an inexpirenced witch [smut]

What Friends are For  Joonie is kinda inexperienced but hey, making sure he gets it is what friends are for. [smut, BFF AU]

Love Bites 

YESSSS VAMPIRE JOONIE [smut, Vampire AU]

Park Jimin

Love Me, Love Me I read this in a sleepy haze for the first time but ever since, I’ve re-read it bc it is just so good! One of my hybrid faves tbh [smut, Hybrid AU]

Book of The Beasts: The Hunt I was so caught up with the story from the beginning, no words, just do yourself a favour and read it. [fluff, smut, angst, Mythical Shifter AU]

A Serpent’s Flower Part 1 and Part 2  You gotta read these if you wanna have a good laugh but still get the sexy writing in it + if you like HP AUs okay. The plot is so rich I loved it.

20 Things (and Counting) I Hades about You  Cocky Jimin makes an appearance in this one as Hades’ embodiment and lemme tell ya I’m here for it. [crack, angst, Greek Gods AU]

Beneath the Water by @jungshookz ExcuSE YOU, this is easily the best mermaid/merman AU I’ve read. It really takes you places, please read it. [fluff, crack, smut, mermaid AU]

The Airport Couple: Park Jimin’s Cock [pit] This was so so fun to read, plus, it is so well written I might cry. The plot is so original is2g. I never knew I needed Jimin as a pilot in my life, but we all do. [fluff, smut, crack, pilot!AU]

Everywhere  One of my werewolf AU faves in this site, this so smutty I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT [smut, Werewolf AU]

Sleeping on the Couch  Hello there cute smutty drabbles. It is so entertaining, just read ahead. [smut, fluff]

Shewolf by @dovechim​

You should know by now this is the author of some AMAZINGLY WRITTEN SMUT so just go ahead please [smut, werewolf AU]

Love Like This  If your thing is soft boyfriend Jiminie, look no further, this will make you feel things for sure. [smut, fluff]

User: Mochibuns95  There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for camboy Jimin, now make it a “we kinda know each other but not really” and you got this brilliant plot! Kudos to the author, you are an absolute genius! [smut, Camboy AU]

Lovebug  Gimme some more of this angsty smutty hybrid Jimin slowly learning to love himself YESSS [angst, fluff, smut, Hybrid AU]

Dress Code  If you haven’t thought about CEO Jimin in a nsfw type of way. Stop lying to yourself. Read this. [smut, CEO AU]

So it Goes

A 3 part masterpiece. Once again I kinda cried reading it. It must have been hormonal. Or perhaps the amazing way it is written. [fluff, smut, Alien AU]

Power Play

Okay so I went on a reading spree for Addie but can you even blame me? SHE IS AN AMAZING WRITER PERIODT. FEED ME THAT FILTH WITH AMAZING PLOT. Definitely one of my faves. I can promise you your heart will skip a beat with this one.  [smut, fluff, Pornstar AU]

Watch Me, Watch You 

Listen up, I can’t be the only one that has found a TA attractive as fuck. Now bring Jimin into it? YES PLEASE [smut, college AU]

Kim Taehyung

1-800-music-street

Ahem. Excuse you. This hit hard it is amazing, astounding, I loved every word of it. I’m a sucker for smut with plot and this right here, delivered. Homeless but passionate for music Tae is here to save the day. [fluff, smut]

All That Is Gold  I’ll said it once, I’ll say it until I die, AMAZING PLOTS THAT NEVER FAIL TO DELIVER. Tae is a sugarbaby here. [smut, angst, roommate AU]

Plunge  Hybrid shy Tae is a thing here [smut, angst, Hybrid AU]

Fun & Games  Soft smutty lover Tae is a dream come true in this one [fluff, smut]

By Chance Tae saves your life and things get… heated. An amazing plot, lovely characters as always. [angst, smut, fluff, Mythical AU, Shifter AU]

By Chance Tae saves your life and things get… heated. An amazing plot, lovely characters as always. [angst, smut, fluff, Mythical AU, Shifter AU]

Sehebon Then again, a bless to read Alien AU, Tae here is just a dreamy one. So so lovely writing, smut with plot, you know it. [angst, fluff, smut, Alien AU]

The Talk  I absolutely loved this, pornstar Tae stepping out of his comfort zone is something so so needed in your life [smut, Pornstar AU]

Good Girl  Accidentally sending your coworker nudes can be something less than a nightmare. [smut, Office AU]

Planning Ahead  Sweet baby Jesus. I loved it. [smut, breeding kink]

The Morning After 

I’m sorry I love ex to lovers smut but y’all shouldn’t stay in toxic relationships okay [smut, e2l]

Jeon Jungkook

The Underwear Thief  I found this so so funny to read and I just noticed that it is 10k but it doesn’t feel like it. Plus, Kookie and a cat as a concept is so cute to me. [smut, neighbour AU]

Bandslam  I haven’t read a fic with this much well written plot ever since my 1D phase so I am forever in debt to Laura for delivering such an amazing fic. Enemies to lovers is a cliche, I know but mix it with drummer boy JK and you got this amazing piece of art. [angst, a bit of fluff in there, smut, E2L, Drummer AU]

Caught Me  I read this quite a while back but I can still recall bits and pieces of it. Seokjin is a sneaky bastard in this one + JK is that roommate that is kinda hard to live with.[smut, Roommates AU]

Crybaby  I’m just going to say: this goes hard. Do yourself a favor and read it. [smut]

Dynasty  I was on a historical streak when I read this. It is angsty but trust me, you’ll absolutely love it. [angst, smut, Historical AU]

Black Card  A wonderfully written two shot that gathers a few faves: CEO Jungkookie and a spoiling kink. Honestly, where can I get myself a man like this. [smut, CEO AU]

Periapt  A two shot (? where JK is an incubus. That should be enough of a description. Amazing writting as always by Rha.

Robot!Jungkook  Okay so one of my many not so guilty pleasures is reading android AUs and lemme tell ya, this 5 shot scenario is just *chefs kiss* [angst, fluff, smut, Android AU]

Dumbo  Wanna have a great laugh while still getting the smut content you deserve? This is your fic. Please just read it. It is amazing and will most likely make your day better. [crack, smut]

2! 3!  Fluffy vanilla smut. Sometimes we deserve it. [fluff, smut]

New Beginnings One of the sexiest Werewolf AUs I’ve read if not the sexiest. You know I love my smut with plot on the side and this fic right here: absolutely amazing. [smut, angst, Werewolf AU]

Felicity  NOW THIS FIC TOOK ME PLACES I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED TO BE. There are amazing hybrid fics out there but this is on a whole new level. Like seriously, novel-worthy plot. Also, this is off hiatus now apparently and I will most definitely be waiting for it. [angst, smut, hybrid AU]

Out of the Blue  Four-piece that is worth every second you read it. It takes you places, trust me. Plus, you get Namjin on the side. [smut, fluff, Hybrid AU]

Anemia  Hello, a quick read but smutty and quite the ride. Just read it. [smut, True Blood AU]

Fluff and Smut 

Yesssss love me some pinning pornstar au I LIVE FOR IT [smut, Pornstar AU]

[yyxgin]

a lot has happened at work recently!! but who cares bleh. libra season!!! which means bday celebrations!! except i’m at work BOO 👎 and my two assistant managers have officially left (i’m helping them move on wednesday) and they were probably the only two who knew when my bday was apart from my supervisor but he’s gone to a different branch to train to be an assistant manager before coming back so i’m super bummed bc now i have to deal w al the new staff by myself 😭

also one of the ladies in kp read my palms?? and she told me i spend too much money impulsively which isn’t false… but i have to spend money impulsively or if spend none at all (which is good for saving ig) but i’d also be doing nothing other than working and that would make me sad lol. she also told me bc i’m a libra this month i’ll be unlucky with love but lucky with money so 🥺🙏🙏 i was having a relatively bad day that day so she was cheering me up n all of that.

did i tell you when my txt and skz albums came, they also came like a week or two later (again) bc they’d accidentally doubled up my order? it was like heaven with skz bc changbin baby is my ult n he was in some of the pulls for the second album 🥵🥵 the limited edition of no easy confuses me bc it’s not like the last one of theirs i bought and typically groups stick to a style when they design albums like mamamoo are all in these cute magnetic flip box thingies and nct’s are all little books type things as well as txt’s but skz switched it up and there’s a fair bit of loose stuff? but it’s okay bc i have two posters n all of the mini flip card things for the members and some bangchan (i’m gifted in pulling chan).

im also hopefully getting a car?? the barman hasn’t gone to prison yet bc the court keep moving his sentencing date(s?) so when i discussed this w my mum she said they’ll probably throw it out and relief filled me!! but ik i shouldn’t be so hopeful but at the same time it’s like why would you mess someone around so much? anyway i’ll move on, i wanted to drop him home in my car bc he deserves a lift everyday what a sweetheart❣️ my co-worker facetimed me today as it was my day off and i said hi to everyone it was so heartwarming to see everyone missing me but also not bc my manager overworks me and he knows that after this weekend 💉🩸

im jumping about with my points and things i want to say but i’m horrible at internet friends so this is okay for me as recently i’ve just not had energy for any friends which is awful of me but i’m still trying to find the balance between work and social. also everyone’s gone to uni and i’m just chilling. i like my life.

i want to redecorate my room. i don’t like the vibe other than when people compliment my kpop wall bc it’s a bunch of my art and then other peoples art and i thoroughly enjoy decorating w pictures and stickers and stuff but it’s literally just a door and it’s depresses me that my happiness is reduced to the back of a singular door now. i want to redo the vibe in my room and make it more me. i’ve never felt comfortable until recently and even now i’m going back to feeling uncomfy now that i know i want it a certain way and to give a certain vibe. idk, maybe it’s bc i watched sex education and seeing lily’s room in the most recent season (i won’t say much more in case you are watching/haven’t seen it yet) really made me realise i want to love myself and love the space i create for myself more. do you enjoy your space you’ve created for yourself? i always feel like peoples rooms say a lot about them as a person but how they see their room in their own eyes always says more.

i want to ask loads of questions and am awful at asking them so please just tell me everything i missed or should be updated on!! ily, always

~ 🌻

LIBRA SEASON !!! omg did i ask you when's your bday ?? i hope i didn't miss it. >:( happy birthday !!!! you deserve so much love. also, i'm sorry about your managers leaving. dealing with new staff is hella stressful and i hope you don't have to have too much responsibility and nerves <3

ooh palm readings are hella interesting. i've never had one but i think i'd like to try. spending money impulsively isn't a bad thing, if it's not an irresponsible spending. and if it is,, well who cares. yolo. i feel you on that tho, bc even tho i am really stingy w money, sometimes i just buy stuff i don't need and act on impulse.

OMG THAT IS A DREAM ?? getting free albums ?? (at least i hope they were free lmao). i like it when groups stick to one type of packaging although i must say i dont like the book thingies nct uses bc there is no magnetic part so it falls apart on my shelf and i hate that. i acutally like the sleeve packaging txt's albums have ?? everyone seems to bitch abt it on tiktok but i find it the most conveniet. also i'm glad changbin came home to you <3

YAAAY TO THE CAR !! AND ALSO TO YOUR COWORKER. i am praying he won't have to go, then, i am really hopeful. he is a sweet soul and doesn't deserve that. pleeease don't put up with your boss overworking you. take care of yourself :(

YOURE NOT HORRIBLE AT INTERNET FRIENDS we are besties. okay ??? and its totally okay to have no energy for friends as well, bc as you can see, i am struggling as well recently. it took me so long to reply to this ask and i feel so bad but it is what it is :// social battery has been low and i am busy with studying and work and trying to put my shit together. i am rooting for you !! <3

go for the decorating !! i actually haven't watched sex education and am not planning on watching so i dont really understand what you mean, but i hope you get to create a space for yourself when you feel free and comfortable. i share a room with my brother so its kind of difficult to decorate it how i want it, but i honestly like sharing a room tbh. he's not here half the time anyway so it's good to see him at least when we go to sleep lmao. but i have a bunch of stuff in my corner that are kpop and my side is full of plants, so i feel good surrounded by them hihi. i like it here.

i don't have many updates. i am actually living a very boring life, so i have nothing to share. preparing for graduation exams has been making me anxious and also depressed with everything that's been going on lately, but it's okay. i'll pull myself together <3 i love you a lot, take care !! i missed you

#our convos are always so long i love it #missed you sm #sorry for taking ages to reply #💌ask #🌻 anon

[domreaderrecs]

Oh boy do I have some kink discourse for you. Here’s a wholeass list:

1. A female dominant does not need to be a sadist who is always torturing and abusing their sub. They can be soft and kind and caring.

2. Findom is a valid form of domination and is really a kink, it is not just women faking it to get money.

3. Online domination is possible, although there are more risks involved, it is still a valid form of domination.

4. Submissive black men are allowed to refuse to be called slave and their dom shouldnt be annoyed they can’t used their preferred honorific.

5. Kink and fetishes can be incorporated without the use of the power dynamic found in BDSM.

6. BDSM is still BDSM if the rope is pink and the outfit is white lace instead of red and leather.

7. It should be standard practice for there to be a safe word that means everything is fine so that the Dom can check in on the sub easily without breaking the scene.

8. It is only BDSM when both parties have discussed before hand, otherwise it’s sexual assault (yes that includes Chad who brought out the rope without warning and now Bethany is just going along because she likes him)

9. BDSM has always and will always be driven by the LGBT community.

10. Under 18 year olds do not have a place in the BDSM community. If they wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.

Yeah that’s about it for now. I’m realizing you probably didn’t want this much but oh well. We’re here now. Let me know what you think!

whewww so much to unpack here lets go its essay time

1. !!!! this is probably one of the most fundamentally misunderstood parts of femdom. it don’t gotta be ball crushing and whipping and calling him a worm all the time, or even at all. this is probably what turns so many women off from trying it or thinking they might be into a more dominant role. gentle femdom is way more palatable for beginners and for me personally, just way more enjoyable (even tho i definitely would wanna make a boy cry from time to time)

2. I used to be one of those people who looked down on findom. I still don’t understand why anyone would be into it tbh but findoms get a lot of shit for no reason... being a sugar baby is so glamorized but if you’re a findom you’re cold, or a bitch, or taking advantage. even though they’re both just people who get money from men who have money to throw at them for sexual favors... but one’s demonized and one’s all the rage... hm i wonder why

3. I have no real/successful experience with this... more on that in number 10

4. 100000%!! the stories i’ve seen from black subs in kink (mostly black women but still) are horrendous. a lot of doms will try to enforce a master/slave relationship, and try to exercise their authority to make subs agree to it. i know it’s a common dynamic, but that shit is wayyyy different to black people... any dom should know that. forcing your sub to do anything is wrong, but especially something so racially, historically, and culturally insensitive. and don’t get me started on the surprise “race play” stories i’ve heard... like i said doing anything without your sub’s consent is wrong but THAT kind of thing requires double consent with a cherry on top. this is part of the reason I’m so scared to enter the kink scene... this shit scares me. thats why the title mistress and master/slave dynamics in general just isn’t for me. it makes me think of my ancestors :/

5. again, 1000% agree. i’ve said this on my blog before, but i’ll say it again. not everything has to be dom/sub stuff. if you wanna peg your bf you don’t have to tie him up and call him names or boss him around, you can just peg him. i feel like ever since FSOG this whole dom/sub thing has grown way out of proportion, but that’s a whole other essay for another day

6. yessss I hate the stereotype of dom outfits as black, latex, leather, way too high to walk in boots... like does it look fire?? yes of course but pink and lace and knee high socks would make a fit that’s just as fire. 

7. this is non-negotiable to me. whenever I hear someone say “I don’t like safe words” or “I/We don’t need a safe word” it’s just a red flag to me. idc what anyone says safe words are mandatory.

8. Yes. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say this but with the rise of the popularity of “rough sex” (again, thanks FSOG) there’s seems to be a rise in people who just assume their partner may be into something, or who just try to experiment on their partner without asking them first. I’ve heard a lot of friends and other girls talk about guys just going straight into choking them, spanking them, and pulling their hair without even asking if they like it (another reason I’m scared to get out there and do stuff, as a person who is very much not a sub or into being treated roughly or tossed around, it’s a big fear of mine). I’ve also seen a lot about girls just randomly trying to finger their boyfriends. If it’s not vanilla, and y’all haven’t discussed it, do not assume it’s on the table. We’ve gotten to a point that kinky stuff is so talked about and normalized (especially with young adults) that people forget it’s actually kinky. 

9. period.

10. okay so story time, around the age of 15/16 is when I started to realize I was into kinky stuff. The preference had kinda always been there, but I couldn’t really place a name to it. I had always felt like an outcast among my peers when it came to the way they would talk about romantic and sexual relationships (I was a year ahead, so all my friends were 1-2 years older than me, so they started to do that stuff earlier than I did) because the things they talked about and liked were way different from the stuff I would think/fantasize about, so I always stayed quiet (teenage girls are very vocal about having choking/daddy kinks but that’s definitely indicative of a much larger problem that i will not get into bc that’s a whole other very very long essay that I will definitely write on here one day but not now). So when I found out what gentle femdom was I felt like I had a community that understood me, and everything just clicked. I would lurk on online communities and I lived for the discourse on there but I could never actively participate because every community had a strict “no minors” policy. They would say exactly what you said, “If minors wish to learn, then they should do so by finding articles and books, not by asking people involved in the scene.” I didn’t want to make anyone catch a case and I didn’t want to get targeted by predators so I tried to follow their advice. i found nothing. There honestly just isn’t that much educational stuff for “kinky teenagers”, or at least none that fit me. There was no femdom oriented stuff. I mean sure there was the standard “consent is important especially in bdsm relationships” but like that didn’t really help me. I had so many questions, that I could never feel comfortable asking my mom or a therapist, and especially not my friends. I didn’t know how to express this part of myself. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it and I couldn’t even watch porn like a normal teenager (we all know the state of femdom porn. its bad) so I was this ball incredible frustration and confusion and i didn’t know what to do with it. So I unfortunately turned to twitter. There I made a little like minded friend. he was also 16 so i thought “this is good, a non adult also kinky teenager who I can relate too. what could go wrong :)”(I’m sure you see where this is going) I was so excited to have a new friend, but ofc, our convos soon took a turn. However, since he was the first person to ever show interest in me, and the only person my age who i could talk to who understood me, i started to catch feelings. But he was a teen just like me, just as horny and confused and sooo immature. He started to pressure me into domming him/becoming his domme, but I refused because I wasn’t ready (i saw on one of those online communities I used to lurk in that its not healthy for your first sexual experience to be bdsm and I took that to heart). he ghosted me. needless to say that “friendship” was toxic. i realized too late that he only saw me as a kink dispenser, and didn’t care about me on a personal level. it also made me realize how not “mature for my age” I was. i say all this to say, NO, teenagers should not be participating in kink. they are not mature enough. however education and resources for them are not where they should be. if we want to discourage them from putting themselves in these situations, we need to better provide them with education and healthy ways to relieve these urges/feelings (i eventually took up writing, it helped me a lot). i feel like had i found a healthier and safer way to express/explore that side of myself, I would’ve never gotten in that situation to begin with. That experience has kinda put me off from dipping my toe into the actual community (well that and the lack of diversity but we’ve already talked about that)

ALSO the amount of very young children i’ve seen in the kink “community” on twitter is alarming... you’re not a little you’re 12

anyways, thanks so much for this essay of an ask and sorry i wrote an essay in response to each one lol but like I said I could discuss kink all day

#thanks anon #thanks shel #more kink discourse #thoughts

[juhele]

i was tagged by @aziz-the-fangirl, thank you!! :))

rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better

when is your birthday: 25.02.

where do you live: Czech Republic

three things you are doing right now: writing this, watching tiktok, convincing myself to go to bed

four fandoms that have piqued your interest: tbh i don’t really know i haven’t been watching anything lately

how has the pandemic been treating you: yeeet. idk, there are people who definitely have it worse so i shouldn’t complain. let’s just say that i’m not doing great but i wasn’t doing that great before either. i’m grateful for what i have you know and i don’t really want to talk about anything else.

a song you can’t stop listening to right now: ehh, I’ve been listening to Hogwarts March a lot lmao (the song at the end of the triwizard tournament when cedric dies lol), which is kinda random i guess. Also I listen to All The Young Dudes by David Bowie at least once a day since last February. I think both of these say a lot about where I am mentally lol.

recommend a movie:  if you haven’t watched Swiss Army Man, you’re missing out a lot. 

how old are you: 23

school, university, occupation, other: univeristy

do you prefer heat or cold: cold so i can hide my body in layers

name one fact others may not know about you: i was an extra for one day on Sex Education, you can see my blurry head with blue hair in the background of one of the scenes. it was pretty fun day, got paid, stood next to gilian anderson for a bit. (i have a friend who even has lines in that show)

are you shy: it depends, but probably

pronouns: she/her (but don’t be talking about me behind my back)

biggest pet peeves: hmmm when people are pretentious i guess (i study theatre so i see that a lot), also in terms of habits i guess i really hate when the furniture in our house is not aligned how i like it

what’s your favourite “dere” type: omg i had to google this and i do watch anime you know. but i seriously don’t know 

rate your life from 1 to 10 (1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be): eh i mean i have a pretty good life compared to the rest of the world so let’s give it a 7

what’s your main blog: i only have this one

list your sideblogs and what theyre used for: i don’t have any, i barely go on this one

is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends: i’ll try really hard to make you laugh but i also won’t stop with the depressive jokes

okie, i’m sorry but i suck at tagging so anyone who wants to do this, please feel free. Seriously. If you want to, consider yourself tagged and tag me so I can see :)

thanks again for tagging me :)

#tag game

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

#aftg #fic #fic ideas #aftg fic #the foxes #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil

[pinkyshy101]

So I got bored and decided to type out a list of the cartoons/tv shows I’ve watched, cause why not! I think this is all I’ve watched, or at least recent enough (I’m thinking like…. 2014/15 onward, when I actively started to watch more cartoons)

It’s kinda long, and I’m kinda rambley, so I’ll put it under a keep reading thing (if I can) so you don’t have to scroll through that if you don’t want to. Idk who will actually read this, but hey maybe it’s an idea of what kind of things I might reblog on here! I’m always taking any suggestions for shows to watch, I love learning about and watching more and more cartoons! So if there’s something I didn’t list as something I watched and you think of be interested, feel free to please recommend it! I may update this with a reblog or an edit or something at some point in the future, idk though. For now, its September 19, 2020, and here’s what I got for ya

This ended up way more rambley than I meant for it to be but I started writing it at maybe 12:30ish am and now its almost 2am when I’m getting ready to post it so oops 👀 I’m not really expecting anyone to read this but hey, it’s something! Read if you wanna know what shows and other stuff I watched lol idc

Cartoons I’ve watched in their entirety (or what’s all aired as of today 9/19/20):

(updated 12/2/20 as starting with ATLA)

Gravity Falls - watched since late 2014

Steven Universe (including the movie and Future) - watched since mid June 2015, right before the second stevenbomb/sworn to the sword (early season 2)

Over The Garden Wall - watched back around when it first came out, can’t remember exactly when but sometime in 2015

Star vs The Forces of Evil - watched the first 2 seasons as they aired, then stopped watching for a while and rewatched the whole show in June 2019

Hilda - watched for the first time in I think October 2018, rewatched in May quarantine

She-ra and the Princesses of Power - watched all 5 seasons about/not even a week after season 5 came out, idk why I waited so long to watch it

The Owl House - started watching it after the grom episode aired, idk why I waited so long to watch it but molly and noelle and everyone was screaming about grom on twitter, so of course I had to watch it then

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts - watched it all in early August, right before I watched The Owl House

Infinity Train - watched the pilot back in 2016, then the first season when it came out, but then I started college and didn’t get the chance to watch the 2nd/3rd season until I decided to watch the whole series (s1 again, 2/3 for the first time) this past week

Ouran High School Host Club - ok I know it’s anime not a cartoon and I can’t see myself reblogging anything from it but it’s literally the only anime I’ve watched more than like 1 or 2 episodes of/the only one I’ve seen in its entirety so I figured eh I’ll mention it

Camp Camp - I almost forgot to mention this one! I started watching it when there was I think only 3 episodes of season 1, so back in 2016, and I’ve loved it since then! I guess this summer’s season couldn’t happen cause of covid.... But I’m still excited for when/if it does eventually come out!

Avatar the Last Airbender

Shows that I’ve partially watched but not completely:

We Bare Bears - I’ve seen the first 2 seasons, maybe some of the third I can’t remember, I watched it when it first came out but I haven’t watched it in a while, so I would probably need to rewatch a bunch of it (I did rewatch I think the first season sometime this year? But it was while working on school projects so I wasn’t giving it my full attention), apparently there’s also a movie now???

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic - I was huge into the brony fandom from roughly 2013ish-2017ish, I’ve seen up to season 8 and a few episodes of season 9, and the 4 equestria girls movies, and the mlp movie; I probably know seasons 1 - 4 the most, maybe a little of 5, 6 and 7 are kinda fuzzy but I’ve seen them, 8 I watched over quarantine (since it’d been a few years since I had watched any of it, I also rewatched bits of 5-7) as well as I think the first episode or so of season 9, but I don’t remember them too well. I watched the movie (the pony one, not eqg) when it came out in theaters, and not too long after that I drifted away from the mlp fandom (tbh I was drifting a little bit before it came out, but I knew I had to stick in there at least until it came out since I had been waiting for so long for it). The equestria girls movies, I saw them all when they first came out (I even saw rainbow rocks in the theater). I think there’s like, half hour shorts or episodes or something?? That’s in the eqg universe?? But I don’t think I’ve seen any of them, and if I have it was probably a really early one a long time ago because I haven’t really kept up with anything after Legend of Everfree came out

Animaniacs reboot - I’ve seen the first 5 episodes and it’s nice!

Shows that I’ve only seen an episode or few of that I (probably) intend on continuing to watch:

Glitch Techs - I saw the first episode! Definitely want to continue it

Rick and Morty - I watched a few episodes of the first season in like March/April quarantine, but I was still dealing with online school at home finishing out last semester then. I think I want to watch this eventually, but I have other shows that I want to catch up on/watch before I’d get to this one

Tangled the Series - idk if that’s the name I’ve seen multiple names but I hope you know what I’m talking about, I saw a handful of episodes from the first season I think sometime around fall 2019, but I’d probably have to rewatch the whole thing

Adventure Time - I’ve never had cable/cartoon network so I didn’t watch this growing up, but I’ve heard really good things about it and seen a bunch of stuff from it (I’d have to be living under a rock to have not seen anything lol) but it’s so long and I just haven’t gotten around to it yet! Well I’ve seen maybe a dozen or so episodes of the first season but it was a while ago so I’d have/want to start over probably

Shows I haven’t started

Amphibia - I’ve heard it’s good! I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Avatar the Last Airbender - probably next on my list to watch, I’ve been meaning to watch it for years but I haven’t yet, its on Netflix now so that should make it easier to watch and a friend from school made me promise that this would be the next one I’d watch so that’s what I’m doing (I did watch the last 2 seasons of infinity train that night though, since I was really wanting to finish it first… But atla is next) watched it! (updated 12/2/20)

The Legend of Korra - obviously I’m waiting to watch it until after alta, and I’m probably going to watch it right after I finish atla

The Dragon Prince - idk really anything about it other than I think it’s on netflix? and apparently it’s good and maybe gay idk but I’ve heard it’s good thus why it’s on here lol

Black Horseman - idk too too much about this other than apparently it’s good but also kinda depressing. Similarly to rick and morty I want to watch it eventually but its not insanely high on my list

OK KO - don’t know a ton about it other than it’s decent, a step up from r+m/bojack on where I want to watch it but not urgently

Ducktales Reboot - similarly to OK KO, don’t know much about it other than it’s decent, same level of want to watch

Milo Murphy’s Law - saw a couple episodes when it came out, haven’t watched it in forever so if I ever do want to rewatch it I’d have to restart it, not super high on my priority list though

Bee and Puppycat - another one I almost forgot! I don’t know a ton about this but I’ve heard its nice! Plus from what I’ve seen I like the artstyle so  👀 maybe someday

Animaniacs (original) - I started to watch the reboot and I think I want to watch the original eventually! Just haven’t gotten around to it yet

Clone High - listen it’s not that I desperately WANT to watch this, I just have friends who are like, hey, watch this lol it’s apparently not super long so why not

Other non cartoon shows I’ve watched:

Brooklyn 99 - idk when I started watching it, maybe around season 4/5ish? I think sometime in 2018 so idk the season, idk, most of the episodes I’ve only seen once so I couldn’t tell you exactly what happens in every episode but I still like it

Rise - ugh I miss this show, I started watching it after/around when the 3rd episode came out (end of March 2018?), and I don’t think I’ve watched any of it since it ended (mid may 2018) cause its not on any streaming services anymore :/ at least not that I know of but I loved it and would love to rewatch it

Andi Mack - I’d heard it was good but hadn’t watched it after it ended (early august 2019 I think I watched it), haven’t rewatched it since then but it was decent, I mainly watched it cause I had seen clips of gay but yknow it was alright

Sex Education - watched 1st season sometime in 2019, when rewatched it/watched season 2 when it came out January 2020, this is like WAY more mature than like anything on this list but like it has an interesting story

Love Victor - watched first/currently only season when it came out mid june 2017 (how was June so long ago what)

Queer Eye - I’ve seen a couple seasons of it idk I figured why not add it lol

Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist - I think I watched this around when there were maybe a few episodes of season 1 left (well there’s only one season now but still), idk I liked it cause like musicals and stuff idk

Idk what else to add to this section but if I think of anything (to any category on this list) I’ll probably update it later maybe idk (again I’m not necessarily going to be reblogging stuff from all/any of these but like, I figured I’d mention it cause idk)

Musicals:

Another thing I love is musicals, like I’m a design/tech major in college rn so yeah I like theatre lol so I’m going to list some I’ve seen (mostly watched bootlegs of, but I’ll list some professional/tour ones I’ve seen in person)(but if it doesn’t say anything special I probably just watched a bootleg, 2017 was a big year for me and my google drive being filled with bootlegs…) This might not be all of them and I won’t go into as much detail (I hope, I haven’t typed it yet) but we’ll see:

Broadway tours I’ve seen: (I swear this isn’t bragging they were cheap seats way up high lol)

Dear Evan Hansen (May 2019)

Wicked (first professional show I saw, October 2017, haven’t watched a bootleg or anything of it since then and I went in completely blind)

Mean Girls (November 2019, last professional show I saw before quarantine)

Come From Away (September 2019)

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (November 2018)

The Book of Mormon (August 2018, was hoping to again this August but quarantine :( )

Non professional/high school/college/other shows I’ve seen in person/been on crew for (not all of them, but some) (assume I’ve also seen bootlegs/proshots if there are any)

Newsies

Spring Awakening (spot op)

Shrek (props)

Legally Blonde

I’ve seen done way more but I don’t feel like listing them or that they’re anything I’d want go reblog/actively look at fandom content for (that’s not saying it reblog stuff from shrek the musical but still lol)

Other shows I’ve seen only in proshot/bootleg form:

Basically every Starkid show

Spies are Forever

The Solve it Squad

Hamilton

Heathers

Be More Chill (yes I was in that big amalgamation of musical fandom stuff with these and deh in 2017 aaaa)

Falsettos

Beetlejuice

Spongebob

21 Chump Street

Les Mis

Phantom

(Again maybe not necessarily all but some there’s a slight chance I might reblog things about)

Musicals I still need/want to watch/listen to:

The Prom

Six

The Great Comet (not typing it all out)

Hadestown

Waitress

Bonnie and Clyde

Something Rotten

Tuck Everlasting

Again there’s more I want to see I’m sure but I haven’t really watched bootlegs in a while…. Idk feel free to suggest shows tho

Movies I’ve seen/like: obviously I’m not gonna just every single movie I’ve seen but heres a few I like:

The Sound of Music

The Wizard of Oz - these 2 have actually always been my favorite movies since I was little, I can’t dee myself reblogging much of anything about them but figured I’d mention them cause why not

Love Simon

Some but not all Disney movies (I grew up with no cable/mostly just pbs)

Most pixar movies?

I don’t think John Mulaney shows count as movies but eh whatever I’ve seen them on netflix

Idk what else lol I know I’ve seen more movies than this but eh

If anyone actually read all of this... Wow I’m surprised honestly lol have a free cookie or something for your struggles or smth, idk, thanks for reading this though lol I appreciate you (but also slightly worry, this was a lot of words and a lot of rambling)

#long post #me #personal #really long post

[elliotfm]

hey guys ! i’m jules and i’m super excited to open; i have two super clingy cats in case any of you ever need a visual pick-me-up, i’m a uni student in canada and a Big skincare and dark chocolate junkie, more than likely gonna be typing replies while indulging in either jsyk ! i tried to keep it short since i’m a rambly bitch, but links to elliot’s basic stats and her wc page will be up soon — though i have some under the read more — as well as a playlist whenever i find the energy to set it up here FLDKSJGSD also pardon the lack of theme, i forgot the url for the preview and code link for the one i wanted to use but i’ll have it figured out shortly ! anyways, without further ado:

◤  *  kim doyeon  ;  twenty-one  ;  cis female  ;  she/her  —  is  that  who  i  think  it  is  over  there  ?  outer  banks  very  own  kook  ,  elliot hong  .  makes  sense  ‘cause  i  can  practically  hear  into it  by  chase atlantic  blasting  through  their  headphones  .  plus  who  else  would  you  find  out  at  the boneyard  right  now  ?  some  say  they're  pretty  astute  ,  but  it's  the  imperious  reputation  i'd  watch  out  for  .  i  wonder  if  they're  still  a student / heiress  and  obsessing  about  keeping  up  with  their  bongs, random shoes and empty bottles of dom on the living room floor  &  a bite as big as her bark  vibe  .  [  ooc  ;  jules/21+/nt/she/her  ]

tw: drug and alcohol mention

the middle child of her parents, elliot is the fourth of her father’s five children

her mother is his second ( now ex — ) wife, though they remain cordial and have since moved on

grew up with a silver spoon, her dad being a wall street giant who would split his time between nyc and, once upon a time, connecticut — though it ultimately became a back-and-forth from nyc and the outer banks when elle was about four

her mother was adopted into an old money family ( on the lower end of that group ) in charlotte when she was a baby and had become something of a socialite when young, but shifted to becoming an entrepreneur. of what ?? i still haven’t figured that out LFJDGS

has a half-sister and half-brother from her dad’s first marriage, tallulah ( aka tally, a pain in my ass over on my indie fdlkjgs ) and bennett, and is basically a mini tally as all she really had were brothers and was Attached to her big sis whenever she’d visit

and as for her older and younger brother..... they might be wcs soon enough so we’ll leave that be for now DFLSGKJ

now onto ELLE ! she was the princess of the younger three hong kids, like the apple of her mother’s eye and her father’s Biggest tormentor

aka would hog the phone whenever he couldn’t come home for the night to tell him good night, hounded him to read her bedtime stories, pretty much always got her way in the most wholesome way when she was a kid

like i said before, moved to the obx when she was four because her mom used to visit when she was a kid and loved it; it was also due to its convenience in seeing her maternal grandparents regularly, its quieter nature in comparison to the affluent hubs for businessmen outside of manhattan and just in general

her dad just went along because it’s what his wife wanted and fuck it, at least the kids wouldn’t hound them to take them to places beyond their urban surroundings as often DLSFJDS

growing up, she wasn’t Too much of a brat but liked having the spotlight on her — she’d accredit it to tally’s influence AND her parents caving to her whims more often than not — and was very sociable and respectful even back in primary school

LOVED to explore, and, while not a tomboy per se, would take part in some activities her brothers or other boys in her grade participated in; be it to bond, trail along her siblings’ every move because she didn’t wanna stray far from action, or to prove that she can hold her own, she’d do it

uhhh overall a cute, if not high-maintenance, kid, but her teen years ?? yikes, people would be in for a ride bc this is when she REALLY started to emulate tally and shift her boldness towards riskier shit

basically could’ve been a main character on outer banks itself with her reckless antics and partying as a teenager…. and now, even SGDLKF

could’ve been considered a typical kook, save for her wild streak; she could hang with the pogues and wouldn’t let her slight superiority complex come into play unless she was challenged or something, otherwise she’d chase the party and the fun wherever she could find it

loves fashion and being the hottest in the room, didn’t need to step on toes to get further but would do so at times Solely to make a point/to call someone out on their shit

is now attending columbia u, rather she’s taking a Break as she makes sure she’s content with the path she’s taking ( aka being the trashy 21 year old she wants to be, chilling at the family home with just her siblings and daddy’s money with no Major worries involving the near future )

isn’t the most studious person, but she’d gotten far enough to begin wrapping up her major whenever she decides to head back

though.. the entire time has been mostly spent sleeping with some of her rich friends, drinking and smoking pot, with the occasional hit of whatever clean enough drug that one of her friends had on them

also spent a lot of her time meeting up with her socialite big sis as a plus one to some cooler events, so while she’s not famous, her name has made the rounds where it matters given her surname’s already established relevance in nyc

when she’s not getting an education and is homebound instead, she’s pissing off her neighbours with her house parties at the family home on the beach, doing dumb shit the second she’s inside of a gala or club — albeit with partial discretion that’s completely ignored whenever around other young adults — and just chilling poolside and staying hydrated fgkldjsg

personality and shit

if i were to use a label to describe her, she'd be a mix between the princess/baby doll, the hedonist and the reveller i think ?? i don’t even know where to place her LKSDFGJLK

self-confidence is through the roof, KNOWS she’s pretty and doesn’t really let rumours or negativity get her down — aside from wanting to unleash hell if someone keeps irritating her for whatever reason

she’s messy as hell, but around the uptight, live-through-your-kids parents of kooklandia she puts on the façade of a poised young woman who has Some fun because she knows it bodes well.. only even then, she doesn’t maintain it bc honestly, who cares —

she’s not a complete dick per se, but she can be snide and boastful when provoked

has something of a superiority complex, independent and lives lavishly with reckless abandon

non-committal yet sensible when it comes to who she sleeps with; typically has a couple of stable fuck buddies but has had some one night stands if she’s feeling it

keeps her true inner circle small, but gets off on attention and likes to stay cordial with some people, so she’s got quite a few friends all the same

like i said earlier, will hang with the pogues and thinks the whole class rivalry thing is kind of stupid when it means sticking with her own would mean dealing with parent pleasers, polo shirt enthusiasts and either being too straight-laced or too destructive for her liking

.. so she’s a far cry from her sister in that regard, otherwise rip GLSKJ

though that doesn’t stop her from unleashing her pompous attitude onto a pogue when it seems appropriate, aka doing anything to piss her off

there really isn’t much to expand on tbh, though i will say that her emboldened nature and need for a good time however she can get it comes out more than her uglier side ( except her vanity. that’ll never go away KSFDG )

some quick plot ideas

a childhood friend or two, pretty standard idea there

could carry over into a trio type of thing depending on where she stands with either of them, or they’re a different couple of pals she’s made over the years

family friends, aka nyc kids or people who’ve rubbed elbows with either of elle’s parents, though they don’t Actually have to be friends of course JGDSFKL

her best friend and confidante, someone she can have cute moments with between the chaos and one of the few people that elle would probably accost someone for if they hurt the other in any way

enemies are always fun ! probably rooted in a competitive streak more than anything else but i’m all ears for a more complex reason

ex-hookup(s), current hookup(s), throw it all at me klgfjd

a hateship/ewb would be fun with her too, oh my god sfdgklj

FAKE FRIENDS !! either in the past or currently, probably stayed friends for the sake of their appearances but have a lot of quiet disdain for each other — though elliot wouldn’t be too bothered by that situation beyond being around someone she deems soul-sucking, face value hype and knowing they probably need her more than she needs them gives her too much satisfaction fkskgls

an ex-something, open to anyone. either someone her parents forced on her to straighten her out a tad that she wound up liking…. after a good period of her telling them to fuck off sdglk or someone she’d been seeing for a while at her own accord, likely someone her parents wouldn’t approve of so readily. would’ve ended the same way: with her calling it off because she didn’t want to settle down, not even for a relationship ( and perhaps bc she’s scared of commitment with her cracked family dynamic that’s been a thing since birth, but that’s another story jsdfkg )

or we can just as easily do high school exes who only really stayed together until graduation bc their parents were being Some level of overbearing with how they’d be such a good couple — not that there was nothing there, just nothing beyond sex and being some kind of status symbol to each other, idk lfkgsd

her designated event pals would be super fun ?? sdgkflj like they go to all of these big parties and galas with their families, break off to do their own thing bc those events are boring as fuck, and head back to her place before she throws an after-party of sorts. they’d be decent friends beyond this though, them being someone she trusts a good bit compared to others in her circle

#╰ 💎 . ❪ 𝐖𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍' 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐒 ↝ jules talks ｡ #outertmintro #tw drugs #tw alcohol #now that that's done i can get some water bc i'm Parched FGDSJKL

[nikosomething]

HEYYYY I'm back, very late, I know! But *distressed gurgling noises*. Sorry?? As for fic recs and sangcheng, I'm going to wait until the reveal so I can DM you about it, if you would like? Yess, it's precisely sweating that makes me hate summer haha. It is, truly, yes, the time between Christmas and new year is so sweet, the liminal days as some Tumblr post put it. OMG I'M CACKLING. That was a ride!! dfgdhjshxjdjd yes it's Heaven's official blessing, or TGCF (shortened Chinese title). Yes, I have read both of mxtx's other works- TGCF and svsss. TGCF is my favorite of all three of her books!

Oh yeah, having Meng Yao realise earlier what a douche his dick of a father is would be most wonderful for him AND other characters. Much less grief, surely. I'm alright with any canon divergence with the side characters. I just don't like wwx and lwj making different choices lol. ANYTHING ELSE is super fine! Omg that sounds beautiful. I hope you had a merry Christmas, Niko! Ah we don't celebrate xmas, no! But my holidays have been delightful! Oh wow, that's such a detailed answer. (2)

I prefer tea these days. Back in college, I used to drink coffee on the regular. Now, however, I'm more interested in ginger tea these days. I make it fresh each time- grate fresh ginger, boil it in water with tea powder and some sugar on the stove. I haven't really tried fancy teas, I don't think I'm much of a teabag person. I'd need loose tea haha. I like the ritual of making it, you know? As it so happens, Niko, this bunny is allergic to apples. I start sneezing as soon as I eat even a single bite of an apple, same with pears as well. Guess what my favorite fruit is? Apples! *saddest bunny sniff* green apples more so but I can't eat them! 😔

Cooking shows are soooo good, but it's been years since I have seen a proper cooking show. All of your recs sound amazing, I might check them out next year when I have time (busy with college work, you see). Oooh what all have I watched? Mostly Netflix shows and cdramas. Cdramas first cuz those are the ones I recently watched and hence, also remember - Joy of Life, Nirvana in Fire, the romance of tiger and rose, Hikaru No Go, Go ahead, TGCF donghua. Western shows- locke and key, Euphoria, Sex Education, (ohmygod I seriously can't recall any other. Rip my memory but I watched SO MANY shows ahhhhhh), I'm currently watching Bridgerton. If I remember, I shall tell you when the reveal happens. NIKO, even I watched the pillowbook and it's prequel, and yes, I have to agree that they aren't my favourites too. They were mehhh. I only liked it cuz of Dijun (purple robes, silver hair fella)! (3)

I'm pretty sure I messed up the numbering. I hope you can figure them out AHHHHHHH I don't even know the number of this text dfgdjdhdjdhdhd

Questions now! Idk have many questions honestly haha. I'm just excited for the reveal lmao. Who amongst the MDZS characters, would be your best friend and who would be your enemy? Kiss marry kill- JC, NHS, WWX? What's your favorite and least favorite arc/subplot in MDZS/cql? Alright, that's all for now! Talk to you soon- 🐰

---------

Heyyyyy my dear bunny, I missed you!! But don't worry, life happens! I understand haha Alright, let's wait for the big reveal so you can give me all da SangCheng fic recs! I am EXCITED! Omg okay yes, TGCF, I recognise that. And SVSS, taht one too. That was one crazy ride it's true hahaha If TGCF is your fav then it's all the more reason for me to get to TGCF next! Who is your fav character in TGCF (I wanna have that in mind when I read it haha) Ohhh! Now that's interesting! Why don't you like canon divergence for WangXian? I am intrigued! And thank youuu! I had a great Xmas and great stomachache cause I just didn't stop eating hahaha I lay awake with cramps regretting everything just to do it all over again the next day oops... talk about learning from your mistakes and stuff... hahaha May I ask where you come from? Is it a personal decision that you don't celebrate, is it religiously influenced or is it because of where you live? I hope that didn't sound disrespectful, if so (if I ever sound disrespectful for that matter) please let me know. I am always willing to learn and improve! <3 Ohhh yes, fresh ginger tea is amazing! I have never tried it with sugar, though, but now I am curious. And I actually have a teashop right around the corner where I can get fancy loose tea. Tell me what you like and I'll send you something ;)

Ohhhh noooooes you are allergic to apples! Nooooo! I am so sorry, esp since you like them! I have a friend who is allergic to tomatoes but loves tomato sauce. Ahhh it always breaks my heart Oh! I watched the first episodes of Euphoria but then I didn't have access anymore and I was so sad about that. And I think I also watched Sex Ed! And Netflix recommended Bridgerton to me only yesterday. It seemed interesting! Do you like it so far? (Also Imma so gonan check out your recommendations!!) HAHAHAHA OMGGG BUNNY! YES; I ONLY WATCHED IT FOR DIJUN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT hahahahahaha Also I was so confused when everything was different in Pillowbook. Like they took great care to build it all up in Eternal Love and then EVERYTHING. IS. DIFFERENT. Ohh but I loved the General. What's his name... the one who was by Dijun's side as his right hand man and leader of the troops during that one life. Do you know who I mean? The sweet sweet boy ahhh man I took a bazillion screenshots of him hahaha I enjoyed your numbering haha it was almost perfect hahaha

My Answers

Who yould be my best friend? Uhmmmm... I guess someone who supports me, likes my enthusiasm but also helps me remember how the world works and sprinkles in a tad of realism. Lan Xichen perhaps! And I'd also have a great time with Lan Jingyi! haha omg all the LansBut I'd enjoy the presence of most characters tbh!!Enemywise... I only dislike people who hurt others so I guess if I witnessed one of them hurting my friends they'd become my enemy? Sadly I guess it'd be Xue Yang then. Or my baby Meng Yao if I had been close with NHS and or NMJ. I mean JGS and WRH are a given so I don't really mention them.Now tell me about you! I can't wait to hear about it!!omggg why are you giving me that super hard choice!!? Uhmmm... Kiss them all, have them marry their loved ones and pls, pls let them live! xDDDDD *sneakily sneaking out of this one*As for arc/subplot please let me know your thoughts on this! I honestly can't tell, I's have to watch it all over again cause I forget way too quickly. But there were defo parts I enjoyed mor ethan others. I'll think about it!Feel hugged!!!

#mdzsnetcc #bunny friend

[nad-zeta]

Match up 🌈

Hi Zeta! Could I get a matchup for Ikesen, please? :3c Basic info: Sagittarius sun (I relate mostly to the truth-seeking, philosophical side of Sag), Gemini moon (addicted to gathering information), Libra rising (just coming off as a nice person on first meeting). INFP, Hufflepuff.

I’m very concerned with ethics and can have a quick temper about perceived injustices; I often feel upset about human and animal suffering, and I’m willing to throw down over someone being hurtful to others. On the downside, I probably have too much pride about my intelligence and also get angry if I feel like someone is talking down to me or dismissing my concerns.

Self-evaluation and change are very important to me. I can never be perfect about how I respond to people, but with experience and loss comes wisdom, and I’ve worked to have more restraint in the way I talk to people even when I’m angry. Even if I’ll never be 100% fair and still make mistakes, I keep thinking about how to do better and trying.

I often spend time listening to people with no outward judgment, so friends, acquaintances, and co-workers are able to feel that I accept and respect them, and I can set people at ease. It’s important to me to be a good listener and to respond in a way that is helpful and supportive for a person’s specific struggles.

My career is in education, currently tutoring college writing & study skills and supervising a peer-turoring program. I love reading about how the brain works and will soon be applying to a graduate program for Learning Sciences. I’m also fascinated with the science of human behavior and relationships.

My undergraduate degree was in English with a focus in creative writing, though with my interest in education now, writing is more of a hobby (that I often avoid). I enjoy sketching as well.

Other than the temper, weak points are a lifelong struggle with depression/anxiety/self-esteem and a tendency to get paralyzed and demotivated by how much I’m already falling short of my standards. I procrastinate a lot and feel like I should be doing more to help people.

I love cats (especially my cat, of course) and pandas. Like a panda, I’m vegetarian and often feel like I have no energy fjsjdnfnwnncjf.

Although I don’t have any firm belief in a higher power or the supernatural, I’m not willing to rule out the idea that spiritual beings / phenomena exist. They haven’t been scientifically proven, but they haven’t been disproven, either!

And uh, I’m bi/pan (grew up identifying as bi so it’s hard to let go of the label even though pan probably fits better) and polyamorous, although outside of an established relationship, I have very little interest in sex. I am also biracial (white/Asian). With all of that, it can be hard to feel like I’m really “at home” anywhere. But I think it helps with having a flexible perspective about diversity.

Oof! That was a lot! Thank you for reading all of it and thank you for being so generous with your time in writing match-ups!

Hi dear! Thank you so much for the request and sorry for making ya wait sooooo long hehe🙈😅! Awww girl I love writing these matchups, so its no problem! I hope you enjoy it and I hope you have the best day!  (⋈◍＞◡＜◍)。✧♡

So I match you with……Hideyoshi

So the first time the two of you really interacted all hell broke loose. You were brought back to the castle by Masamune and was presented before Nobunaga. He had declared that you were to be the new Oda princess. You honestly had a problem with that as you didn’t want to feel like you were a burden or well that you owed them anything, so you insisted Nobunaga give you a real job to earn your keep. The man found you most amusing, not only had you fearlessly saved his life, but here you were, now before him unpleased with being a princess, a title most people in the country would kill for. He gave you his classic smirk “Very well then lucky charm, I shall name you as our new castle chatelaine.” You nodded in satisfaction at that, and just before you could start to relax, you felt someone’s gaze burning a hole through you. 

You turned over to see Nobu’s right-hand man glaring at you, if looks could kill you would be dead, and TBH you were starting to lose your temper with these men. It wasn’t until Hideyoshi said something that made you go off the handle “My lord, I don’t trust this woman, who is to say she won’t kill you in your sleep, or that she was the one  responsible for the fire in the first place.” At that, you scoffed and rolled your eyes “Why would I set a building on fire just to save the dude I am supposedly trying to kill.” Before anyone knew it, you and Hideyoshi were at each other throats. Both of you were being pulled apart by the fellow warlords before things escalated too quickly. Finally, Nobunaga set Hideyoshi straight and dismissed you from the council room to acquaint yourself with the castle

You kept your head down and worked hard, and you were most definitely loved by all the castle staff. You seemed to look past their titles and statuses and got to know them as people, they loved that you never judged them and that you would always be there for them, a friendly ear to listen to their problems and concerns, while giving good constructive advice. This trait of you had also earned you a lot of respect among the warlords, and soon you became quite good friends with most of them. Mitsunari and Ramnaru in particular.

TBH you loved the little angel Mitsunari, as the two of you would often bond over your love for books, reading and knowledge. He loved studying the art of war while you loved learning about people, their brains, behaviours and their relationships. Everyone absolutely adored you, well, all but Hideyoshi. 

But that all ended one day when Mitsunari asked if you would like to help him. Mitsunari needed someone who could assist him during the soldiers training drills, and you were all too happy to assist. You sat beside him and helped him with the paperwork. You had noticed that the chain of command would break and that certain people would be better suited for other units. During your lunch break, Hideyoshi walked up to you and Mitsunari, and you voiced your concerns. He looked at you dumbfounded, how did a woman know so much about human relationships and behaviour. Mitsunari chimed in and very excitedly stated that, he had seen you study the human brain and the science of their behaviours and relationships. Hideyoshi thought for a moment then nodded, “Okay then, show me in which unit you think these men would be best suited”. They continued their training drills, and by the end of it, Hideyoshi was Hella impressed with you!

He wanted to trust you, he really did, but he was caught between duty and his own emotions. That was until one day. On a whim, Nobunaga decided to bring his lucky charm with him to battle. You were hesitant at first but going to war with the Oda’s meant that you wouldn’t have time to procrastinate and that you would have a golden opportunity to help people. You had been studying medicine for a while now, as Ieyasu had joined your and Mitsunari’s book club. 

The two of you work together patching up injured soldiers all afternoon and judging by the influx of wounded men things weren’t looking too good. That night you had helped Masamune with making supper for everyone. You had stood in front of the big pot, scooping the rice dish into everyone’s bowls when you noticed something peculiar. Hideyoshi was holding out his bowl with his left hand. This was strange as he was right-handed and would usually hold it out with his dominant hand. You made a mental note of his behaviours and watched him as everyone ate. That’s when you noticed that he wasn’t using his dominant arm at all. 

Once everyone had retired for the night, you pulled the warlord aside and confronted him. He led you to his tent and unwrapped his arm showing you his wound. You were shook, it was a deep cut across the length of his arm. You lost your temper at the sight “How stupid could you be hiding a severe wound like that, what if I got infected, what if you bled out.” As you ranted about all the possible what-ifs of him not seeking medical treatment sooner, you had him sit down and started gently cleaning and bandaging the wound. 

He had realized at that moment that you were a genuinely kind woman and that he most definitely could trust you. And at that moment you saw something that melted away all your anger, worry and frustration. Hideyoshi’s genuine smile. It was absolutely radiant. Like the sun coming up from the horizon in the morning.

Since that day Hideyoshi was a completely different person towards you. He would often invite you to his manor to help him clean and care for the deep gash on his arm. Once his arm was healed, he would invite you to ask your opinion about different soldiers behaviour and relationships, and where you thought them best suited. Honestly, any excuse just to see you and chat with you. Soon your tea date moved to the local tea houses, and you found yourself enjoying Hideyoshi’s company more and more. He loved the way your eyes would light up when you talk about your interests in science and the human brain. He loves how you cared so much for people and animals and couldn’t stand injustice

In fact, one day as the two of you were walking around the market together, you spotted a group of men bullying a poor defenceless cat. Your blood was boiling, and in an instant, you were there to rescue the cat from the men. Luckily for you, Hideyoshi was hot on your trail, as it had slipped your mind that people in this era carried around weapons. After Hideyoshi fought off the men, he looked over at you to see you cradling the cat in your arms. His heart melted, even more so when you gave him the puppy dog eyes asking if you could keep the poor little thing. Honestly, he could never say no to you. Both you and Hideyoshi had long ago fallen in love with each other, but both of you were just low key to shy to admit it

He decided one day that he just had to tell you how he felt, so he planned out a romantic dinner for the two of you. He made sure to prepare all your favourite vegetarian dishes. As the two of you ate, you could tell something had been bothering him. After dinner, the two of you went outside to sit and enjoy the warm summer breeze. This was the moment Hideyoshi decided to blurt out all his feeling for you. You simply smiled at the silly man and kissed him, returning the feelings.

The two of you made the cutest couple, like you, Hideyoshi love, love loved to help people. He is known as the doting mother hen after all. One of the qualities he loved most about you is your kind heart. Often he would go with you and assist you in teaching the street children how to read and write. He would often steal glances at you and smile at you. He loved how sweet, gentle and patient you were towards the children. You never lost your temper with them, and they loved you so much, they loved that they could come to you with their problems, you would always provide them with helpful and supportive advice which they really appropriated

You loved to spend time with Hideyoshi. Even if that meant being in the same room and doing your own thing. You would often sit in his room and sketch while he worked on admin. You loved the way his eyes lit up, and the bright smiles he would give you, whenever you showed him your finished work. He loved your sketches, and he would often low key steal them and hang them up in his room on full display for all to see your beautiful talent

Anxiety and depression is no problem for this doting mother. Whenever you are having an anxiety attack or going through s depression spell, he will be sure to be, right by your side to support you throughout it. He will pull you into his arms and just hold you, whispering reassuring words in your ears. He knows you have a tendency to be too harsh on yourself and hold yourself at a ridiculously high standards. He will spend hours just rubbing soothing circles on your back and whisper sweet nothings in your ears. This man will dote on you so hard that your anxiety and depression would be soothed as quick as they manifested.

Hideyoshi’s all-time favourite is just holding you in his arms for hours and hours as you read to him, the newest piece of your creative writing or tell him the newest fun fact you had learned from your studies. He loves nothing more than to spend a quiet evening with you cradled in his arms sharing sweet kisses as the two of you exchange stories of each others day

Other Potential matches……………. Ieyasu 

I hope you enjoyed it, love! (◠‿◠✿)❤🌼

#matchups #ikesen matchup #match ups #toyotomi hideyoshi #hideyoshi toyotomi #ikemen sengoku hideyoshi #ikesen hideyoshi #hideyoshi matchup #submission

[elle-smells]

STORYTIME PART 3 🏳️‍🌈🙋🤷‍♂️

Part 1

Part 2

(pretty sure this is the last one)

Now

My friends are accepting, I honestly don't give a crap of certain people at my school aren't okay with it bcs it's not like I'm walking around with a huge "HEY, I'M BI!" Sign on my head. Tbh I only want my friends to know and if it happens to spread then who cares?

And I truly mean all of that, really I do. It's just never felt like the right time. It kinda feels like over sharing atm, not something that will come up in conversation and the fact that I've started to grow a little self conscious about my sexuality doesn't help my case.

See, after I figured out I was Bi I didn't really think a lot about preference. I just wanted to love who I loved. But then came DUN DUN DUUUNNN Research. I looked up everything that has to do with bisexuality and even tried to educate myself on save sex with girls (which should honestly be taught in schools for LGBTQ+ youth but that's another topic of convo)

Apart from that, I watched a ton of videos of people coming out and explaining their experiences and a lot of them talked about preference. So I started to think about it and came to the conclusion that I have a preference for guys. That.....that scared the crap out of me.

All the ppl that I heard talking about preference said they either feel about 50/50 or they have a preference for the same sex.

That made me spend a lot of time feeling ashamed of not being "bisexual enough". I felt like if I told people about my preference then they would invalidate me by thinking I'm either "too scared to say I like girls" or "just trying to follow a trend by saying I like girls"

I knew neither of those things are true but I thought ppl would see it that way. And so, I didn't even feel comfortable enough to talk about my sexuality with the LGBTQ+ community, let alone the people that aren't a part of it.

Later on I found the sexuality spectrum and that felt so right to me you have no idea. And when I heard Alexia talk about it in Skam France OMG.... *Chef's kiss* it made things even better. Unfortunately, that didn't mean I stopped feeling self conscious sometimes.

All of that self consciousness now adds to my reasoning of why it's "never the right time" to tell my friends.

Until last week, when I started writing Part 1 of this story time.

Here's where the emojis come in btw

Outside of my main girl friend group, I have another friend that goes to my school. We've only known each other for almost a year but we've become close in that time. He's one of my best friends and he's seen me cry more times that I'm proud of tbh hahaha. However, recently, we've kinda drifted apart (it's a long story), and we're still friends and talk and have a laugh but we're not the same as before. Oddly enough, I still feel like I could tell him anything. ANYTHING. If I'm sad, I'd want to talk to him, If I murder someone, he's one of the first people I'd call. And If I'm happy, I'd tell him the reason why.

For a while, I had considered coming out to him first but, again, it never felt right.

Last week, I found out he's changing school's so he won't be with us for senior year. That really bumbed me out, so I called him for the first time in a while. We had a good talk, we laughed and it felt like the beginning of our friendship.

If you asked me, I wouldn't be able to tell you what it was. I just knew. And it all lined up perfectly too!

It checked all the boxes.

• It came up in conversation - we were talking about how EVERYONE has little gay moments some times

• It was someone I trusted - Like I said, he's kinda my best friend

• It didn't feel like over sharing - the gave me perfect segway. He talked about "Bisexual check" tiktoks and how he's not bi but fits a few of the stereotypes (ie. Sweater weather, rolled up jeans, etc)

The stars were aligning and I just....said it

Well, kinda said it:

"hahaha omg dude, in that case, you're more bisexual than I am"

...... My heart started beating so hard I could basically hear it, I frees more anxious by the second so much so that I almost didn't realize he didn't stop talking.

Him: so yeah, and it's not like I only like sweater weather, it's more of-

Me: dude....did you-... are you not getting what I'm telling you

Him: uhh,no.....

Me: umm, ok nevermind then. I'll tell you again another time.

Him: oh, ok.

(hence the emojis 🏳️‍🌈🙋 <- I'm not straight. 🤷‍♂️<- friend doesn't get it)

After that I felt disappointed but it was very quickly followed by....relief. I really didn't expect to feel that. I thought I'd be more gutted that I had missed my chance. Instead I was glad the beating of my heart had stopped.

I realise now that I can't not make my coming out into a casual thing. And by that I mean, it's not something I can just brush off my shoulder, it's a part of me that I've keep deep in my soul for a while and getting it out in the open is a huge step for me. Even if I know ppl are going to be accepting, it's still a big part of my story and I can't just look past it.

Which brings me to right now. That conversation with my friend is what inspired me to write this all out. This is MY bisexual experience. This is MY story.

And it's not over yet. I'm still dealing with feeling not valid enough sometimes bcs of where I fall on the spectrum. I still haven't come out to my parents. I still have a bit of the way to go and I have no idea where that's gonna take me.

What I do know for sure is that I know where to go next. That's to that conversation with my best friend. I understand my situation a lot better now. And that's all I need to move forwards.

Today is the start of Pride Month. Love each other, support each other. I told this fandom my in progress, bisexual mess of a story bcs of how positive it can be. Please, Stand together, bcs our stories deserve to be told and heard. This was mine. And I hope you are able to tell yours ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

#bisexuality #bisexual #bi bi bi #bi mess #lgbtq #lgbt #pride month #pride 2020 #skam #skam france #skam italia #wtfock #druck #skam españa

[zutaralesbian]

Top 5 lgbtq+ movies/tv shows

I have to admit that I haven't seen a lot of LGBT movies. The only thing I've seen is Love, Simon lol. So this is going to be mostly TV shows. I'm gonna be ranking them based on how much I personally enjoy them, not necessarily how quality the representation is. (For instance, I obviously think Black Sails has better LGBT rep than Killing Eve. But I like Killing Eve better as a show overall).

1. Killing Eve

I've always wanted a show that features a gay dynamic between two women as the main relationship and this show delivers in a very unique way lol. Both Eve and Villanelle are developed and fascinating characters and their dynamic is equally as interesting and captivating. It's truly such a fun show. The toxic wlw representation that I deserve.

2. Black Sails

If someone asked me to rec a show based purely on gay rep, this one would probably be it. Five canon lesbian/gay/bi characters. Four of which are mains. (One of them being the MAIN main character). On a PIRATE show. And while the characters aren't at all reduced to their sexuality, some of the arcs they go on has their sexuality play a part in their arcs in such a beautiful and organic way. (Especially Anne). I don't think it's flawless like some people say, but it has some truly great stuff and deserves more recognition.

3. Euphoria

This show is hella problematic tbh. But the main relationship is between a black wlw and a trans wlw. And they truly are the mains. They get the most screentime and interaction with each other. (I REALLY hope it stays that way in S2). And while the relationship has a a lot of issues, the actresses have great chemistry with each other and are portraying something truly beautiful imo. I have hope for Rue and Jules.

4. Love, Simon

I know some people shit on this movie now but I still love it lol. It was fun and lighthearted. And a lot of Simon's thought processes and experiences with coming to terms with his sexuality were REALLY relatable to me. You can tell that this movie was directed by a gay man. I haven't read the book it's based on and from what I've heard about the author, I don't think I ever will. But as a movie alone I find it very enjoyable.

5. The Fosters

I stopped watching this show because I got tired of Br*llie. (I did hear that it wasn't endgame though so maybe I'll catch up eventually lol). But in the early seasons, I think it has a lot to offer. We have Stef and Lena, an interracial lesbian couple who are very loving. We see them adopt and parent kids. And Jude is probably the only character I've seen realize he was gay at a really young age and I think that kind of rep is important because too many people act like kids are "too young" to know they're gay and that gayness is strictly an adult thing. I wish the stuff that irritated me about it didn't exist because it truly had a lot going for it as a show lol.

Honorable mention to Booksmart. I don't really classify it as an LGBT movie but I love that it depicted a loving friendship between a lesbian and a straight girl.

LGBT shows/movies I haven't watched yet but want to: Sex Education, Rafiki, Gentleman Jack, Moonlight, Tell it to the Beas, Siren, Killjoys

(I'm also always open to hear recs)

Thank you! 💕

ASK ME MY “TOP 5/TOP 10” ANYTHING!

#killing eve #black sails #euphoria #love simon #the fosters #redblooms #answered

[iamdangerace]

Tagged by both @justmakesuresheeatsthemouse​ and @138skulls​ to respond to written interrogatories. Cheers to you both. These do, as you said Mlle Mouse, have a slumber party feel to them. Haven’t been yet, to a slumber party, but I’m not discounting the possibility that I may yet.

1. Have you had a good day so far today? So far, it’s been frustratingly groovy.

2. What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self? I would tell me that real love (the joined at the hip, can’t keep your hands off each other, love everything and wouldn’t change a thing about each other, sex like a spiritual awakening kind of love) never lasts. Enjoy it while you’re in it. Let it go when it’s over. Stay close afterward because you still love each other. You’re just not in love with each other. And you can have that again with someone else if you have a high threshold for pain. Like, on the other hand, does last. And sex with a close friend you care about may not be magic, but it is nice, and as good--just different.

3. If you could share one song with someone for them to understand you, what would it be? Vagabond Dog by Naked Raygun from their Understand? album.

4. A song people maybe wouldn’t expect you to like but you do? Same Old Fucking Thing by Elastica. Brit Pop, I know, but I like the whole Elastica album. The songs are slightly shoegazey.  Somewhat punkish, in the rhythm, if not the melody. Annie Holland is one of my favorite bassist. Her basswork on the album is the most interesting part of the music. I own the record album and 2 copies of their songbook from 1995. One copy is in mint condition and kind of valuable. I can, or at least could at one time, play all of the songs on the album.

5. Describe your go-to pair of shoes? Like those who tagged me, I love my Doc Martens. I have two pair of originals, 8-eye and 14-eye, from when they made them in England.  They are the most comfortable and best footwear I own. But I only wear them to live music shows, indoors–about 2 or 3 times a month.

I have a pair of grinders and some jump boots for outdoor music festivals and riding my bike. I have lots of cowboy boots for cowboying. A pair of Italian pointey-toe zip ups if I want to look like John, Paul, Ringo and George, or one of the outsiders. But what I wear almost everyday are canvas high tops. I have a lot of those too.

6. Do you have a picture/poster in your room? What of? This is another long explanation.  I have a house, but not really a room. A number of people live with me from time to time. Where I sleep often depends on who’s here. I have one room filled with clothing racks, like in a store, that hold all my clothes, jackets, shoes, whatever. Tbh, most of the decorating has been done by other people, and if I like it, I keep it. My housemate now is an artist/shamanic-witch/grammar school teacher. She has her artwork up all over. And fetishes.

The lower level is mine though. It’s where I work and practice. I’ve been doing a self-renovation of the space for a long time, and plan to hang things I’ve collected when I’m done. I go to Comic Con a lot and usually buy from the artists there. I have some Crow artwork I bought from James O’Barr and just a lot of comic art.

I also recently bought many, many paintings from an artist in France who paints underground music themes. So I guess my answer is no.

7. What’s your favourite software? Audacity. The best sound mixing software money can’t buy.

8. Do you own nail polish/fave colour of nail polish? No. But my fave color is hers. Especially on her toenails.

9. Favourite herb/spice? Melange. The spice must flow.

10. Do/can you lucid dream? I used to. I even dream walked once during a high fever. But I got into too much trouble.

11. Summer or winter? Summer. I like the water.

12. If you could relive a day of your life, would you? When? Mid 90s. Surfing near San Diego. Beach party. Sleeping on the beach and watching the sun come up.

Or, a night not too long ago. Catching a show at the Metro by a lot of great bands. Going to the after hours next door with some of the people from some of the bands. Catching a really great electronic show. Dry ice mist up to your knees. Have to wear sunglasses because of the lasers. Rubbing elbows with creatures of the night. Riding to the beach and watching the sun come up.

13. Favourite historical era? The 80s/90s. Very cool music. Beat-to-shit, torn up clothes were in. Everybody had a good time, pretty much all the time. Everything before was all back of the bus, barefoot and pregnant and die young killing yourself working for the man. Music was boring too. Maybe not some jazz, blues and blue grass, but still kind of boring. Too far back and people had very poor hygiene practices.  Right now basically sucks. The future is Blade Runner, if we’re lucky, and a dystopian post-apocalypse wasteland if we’re not.  Again, people with very poor hygiene practices. The music might be interesting though.

14. A common misunderstanding people have of you? I guess my education. Not so much Tumblr people, who don’t know shit about me, but people irl--the ones I can really fail to impress in person. I have a doctorate.

This took me a real long time. I apparently have way too much spare time. 

I tag. @artemisia-absinthium-x​ @queenofnots​ @sage9991​ @lizardcreep​ @daydreamsofanafternoonany​ @girlslikemereadsassy​ @cantgetyououttamymind​ @torn-paper-doll​ @neverwillyoufindmehere​ @suicidniv​ @makp01​ @shadowanndeath​ @marlsborohaven​ @grimoirael​ @vivaladee​ @fior-di-pelle​ @bruuubs89​ @alesitablackplanet​ @vagabundusdesdemona​ @punkinpie​ @hotelmade​ @shikauso​ @lotusgurl​ @zombienicole​ @electric-wizardress​ @kneipho​

some of whom may have fun doing this.

#tagged

[thealpacalypse-archive]

A handy guide to avoid accidental transphobia

For cis people in the Druck fandom who write fic, headcanons or meta and don’t wanna mess up 

Including questions like: Is David trans? Is he beautiful? Is he wearing a binder this whole damn time?? What’s his story?

hey everybody, I’ve debated making this post for a while now because I don’t want to seem ungrateful to the people who are already trying, and I know that there are other trans people in this fandom who are already doing a pretty good job educating people, but then again, why not share my thoughts as well. 

In this post, I’ll collect a few headcanons, meta, and other discussions that i’ve seen around here and that made me personally uncomfortable - now be aware that i’m only one trans person and that other people can have other opinions on this, but also i’ve done trans activism for a few years now and i’m a gender studies major, so I definitely know what i’m talking about. also, a fair warning: this is gonna get long as heck. okay, let’s go.

Is David trans? The truth is: We don’t know yet. We only know that the actor who plays him, Lukas Alexander, is a trans guy. Now I’ve seen various people speculate if that automatically has to mean that David is trans as well, and obviously, no. David could be cis for all we know, and yes, casting trans actors in cis roles can be a pretty cool thing. However, if you’re cis, it would be cool if you reblog trans people’s opinions on this instead of shouting loudly about your own opinion, especially if it is that David should be cis for whatever reason. Why is that problematic? Trans activists are currently fighting for representation in media. There aren’t many trans characters we can look up to, especially not such young characters in a show that has such a big impact on a generation of young people. Many trans teenagers have never seen themselves represented in media, and many trans adults like myself are still craving for that good, good representation. Most of the time when we get trans characters, they’re played by cis actors - and because it’s mostly cis men who play trans women and cis women who play trans men, it perpetuates the idea that trans people are just especially well dressed up men and women who trick people into believing they’re ‘the other sex’. (ugh) Even though that’s a different problem, it links to this one as well, because trans stories in media are rare, and it’s even rarer to have them portrayed by trans actors. Yes, it would be revolutionary and gender-redefining if trans actors could play cis characters (or just characters whose cis or trans status is never brought up in the first place), but that’s one step ahead of the game in my opinion and tbh, cis people saying that they want David to be cis for whatever reason is just... suspicious.

Is David beautiful? Well, I’m sure we can all agree that this boy is a sight for sore eyes, and i’m pretty proud of this fandom for weeding out the transphobic assholes who called him ugly at the beginning of the season. I’m sure by now they’ve all seen the error of their ways because HECK, in levels of attractiveness, David is a king. Though it might not be the best to call him ‘beautiful’, ‘pretty’ or other usually female-gendered words when you’re cis and describing him. Why is that problematic? Listen, there’s absolutely nothing inherently bad about calling boys pretty or beautiful or whatever - I personally am an absolute goner when it comes to soft boys™ and their aesthetics, and I also think that denying boys to be soft and pretty is misogyny in a way, because it’s implying that female-coded things are bad. However, there are many trans boys (and other trans and nonbinary folks who were assigned female at birth) who feel uncomfortable when these words are used for them because it can be linked to misgendering or remind them of times before they were out. Trans people are often highly aware of their body and looks, because the way we look is heavily observed, judged and policed by society, and most of the time, being seen the (gendered) way we identify is the only way we get respect and basic decency. We don’t know yet if David personally has a problem with being called beautiful or whatever, but we also don’t know how the actor who plays him feels about that, and there are a couple of trans boys in this fandom who’ve already expressed their discomfort with these words. So in order to protect them and make this fandom safe for them, it seems like a small price to pay to consider our choice of words more carefully when we describe David, and try to avoid female-coded words.

What about David’s chest? Now this one is tricky. I’ve seen discussions about it a lot: Does David wear a binder, did he wear it the whole time he was with Matteo, does he maybe not even bind, did he have a mastectomy? The underlying tone of these discussions is worry - we all want David to be safe and comfortable, and seriously, let me tell you once and for all: a binder shouldn’t be worn longer than 8 hours a day, it shouldn’t be worn when sleeping, and it shouldn’t be worn when doing sports (also relevant for our jock boy). It’s not safe and it can heavily damage the breast tissue, ribs, and lungs - it can be literally life-threatening. It’s perfectly fine to worry about this, but it still feels uncomfortable to watch cis people debate the state of a trans boy’s body in such detail. Why is that problematic? Trans people’s bodies have always been scrutinized and judged - by medicine, by the state, by society as a whole. We always have to prove ourselves and our bodies, and convince people that we’re not just tricking them into believing we’re someone we are not. A lot of ‘true womanhood’ or ‘true manhood’ apparently revolves around genitalia, at least cis people seem to think so. Which is why so many trans people (and let’s be real here, especially trans women) have to deal with the question: “Have you had the surgery yet?” - meaning, did they already undergo the one surgery among the various ones trans people might consider, that reshapes their genitalia in a way that is acceptable to society. Cis people often use these questions about our bodies and the way we change them to delegitimatize us and take away our status as a ‘real’ man or woman. Other than that, trans people’s bodies often get portrayed as something freakishly exotic by cis people; there’s a certain voyeurism about it, and it often gets sexualized - just look at the way trans women are treated in mainstream porn. Cis people examining our bodies, theorizing about what kind of operations we’ve had or haven’t had yet, and possibly sexualizing or belittling/dehumanizing us for it, that will always be very thin ice, because it comes with a lot of emotional baggage for trans people individually and as a community.

What’s David’s backstory? We’re all wondering that, especially since Druck is mixing up the whole Skam setting so much and we really don’t know what they have in store for us. Obviously I’m just as thirsty for theories as the rest of the fandom, but I’ve also read a few things that kinda irked me.  Here’s what to avoid: Referring to David as a girl or female in any way, speaking about him in the past with “she/her”-pronouns or coming up with a deadname for him. Oh lord please don’t. It’s nothing but misgendering and it’s so, so wrong. If you’re cis, also please reconsider posting headcanons for his backstory that contain heavy transphobia. Not only can that trigger trans people in the fandom (please use trigger warnings for that stuff, okay?), but there’s also a long history of cis people taking trans narratives away from us and making them only about suffering and pain. Sure, dysphoria sucks, the discrimination sucks, but me, a trans person, complaining about these things is WAY different from a cis person fantasizing about a really painful, possibly violent life for a trans character. Sure I want realism and I want a platform where we can discuss the truly awful experiences many of us have because we’re trans, but I wish that cis people would boost trans voices for that instead of coming up with their own fucked up fantasies about how badly a trans character might have been treated. If you’re writing fic or meta and you want to find an explanation why David changed schools so close to the end of the school year, you don’t have to dig deep into the trans pain to explain it. It’s not that uncommon for trans people to change schools, work places, etc. once they’ve transitioned far enough to feel comfortable - a new start makes the stuff like name changes, new gender presentation, etc. easier. And even if David’d move is related to transphobic experiences, I don’t really need to read detailed descriptions of it. You wouldn’t want to obsess over someone else’s trauma in vivid detail in front of them, so please be cautious when writing about something that’s seen as traumatic by many trans people.

Other useful pointers: There are trans people in this fandom who voice their opinions - seek them out, listen to them, boost their voices, don’t speak over them when they talk about trans experiences. Don’t focus too much on the fact that David is (or might be) trans. Like sure, include that in your writing, but make sure you know that it’s not the only and not the most interesting thing about him. In most regards, he’s just a boy, and he has a lot of character traits that tell us just as much about him, like the fact that he’s really closed-off, competitive af, artistic, a music lover and a complete emo dork, seems to have an active flight-or-fight response,... you see what i’m getting at. Let’s obsess about David on these terms, and I’m sure we’ll get a whole lot of new and interesting meta and fic about him that all of us can enjoy. 

#druck #david schreibner #datteo #davenzi #mavid #my posts