#I know exactly how I got here

[girlscience]

the RAMPANT consumerism on the section of youtube I have ended up on recently is actually kind of disgusting to me. if I see one more video of a perfectly manicured hand with a hint of a sweater sleeve putting things in a target cart or using 100 bottles for a skin and hair self-care day or using 50 different cleaning products in an enormous, pristine, white home while a random pop song remix plays in the background I'm going to start destroying things.

#I know exactly how I got here #there is a specific crossover of decluttering/production hacks/workout plans/minimalism/motivational videos that leads directly #to very wealthy stay-at-home women doing sunday resets and target hauls and restocking and organizing the guest bedroom #and 4 hour pre-vacation self-care videos #but it is so BAD. I am not saying don't buy things or take care of yourself or anything like that #I literally have mentioned several times in the past two weeks that I was waiting on packages in the mail! #but GOD. the difference between buying a set of dvds I'm going to use until they fall apart #and literally having 4 bookcases of skin care products is ASTRONOMICAL #I cannot imagine a single reason anyone would ever need that much stuff #and it's All so sanitized and perfected and nothing can be out of place and it's just awful #that girl aesthetic/it girl/clean girl aesthetic/etc etc #and every single woman in these videos is perfectly shaped and tanned and hair done up #and they all wear these matching set workout fits #just oh my god girl!!!!!! what are you doing????!!!!!?? #I don't know. I don't know that there's a point to this besides me complaining and being upset #but it's just so antithetical to the way I want to live and I know it's so bad for the environment #and I know it is encouraging so many people to look and act just like that #and I hate it!!!! it feels like we are never getting out sometimes for real #maybe I'm being mean. maybe they are actually very conscientious of the environment #and maybe they are only showing a once a month shopping trip #and maybe they have just been sent a ton of PR packages that they have to figure out how to store #but. it really doesn't feel or look that way

[chipper-smol]

@pupppppppy is to blame for this scene finally getting out of my head

Context: this is the split second when possessed Wukong punches Nezha into the ground and then turns to MK. These two are not on good terms in this au, so Wukong begging for Macaque to save MK is a pretty big deal

scene after courtesy of puppy

#myart #fanart #lmk #lego monkie kid #lego monkey kid #re-boundau #six eared macaque #sun wukong #ok a brief synopsis for the au: Macaque is trapped in wukong's shadow after he died #and now they're stuck as shitty roommates #i def recommend diving in the re-boundau tag cause i got good stuff #i just havent touched this au in a while bc I need #to know #exactly how macaque died #and that info is so so so close in either the s4 special or s5 #so im juST WAITING HERE

[aroaceleovaldez]

HoO is so funny to me when you actually think about the ages of all the characters. Octavian is 18. Percy and Annabeth are 16, almost 17. Reyna is presumably 16. Frank just turned 16, Jason’s about to turn 16. Leo and Piper are like 15. Hazel’s like 14 and a half, and Nico is 13.

The Death Sibs are both the youngest and oldest on the Argo II. Octavian is a college freshman getting into petty drama with a bunch of high schoolers. He gets told to shut up at one point by a random 8th grader. Everyone is scared of the 8th grader. We Sent A 13 Year Old To Superhell and he came back weirder, Just Like Middle School. TLH was just three high school sophomores being sent to do a task and it going Exactly Like You’d Expect. Percy’s the only demigod on the ship who can legally drive (though Reyna gets her drivers license at some point before TOA). What Is Happening.

#pjo #hoo #heroes of olympus #riordanverse #my second favorite thing related to this is like every time Hazel references someone's age especially in SoN it's just. blatantly incorrect. #she goes into very specific detail about how she's 14. detailing like exactly how many months it had been since her birthday #and when she died and when she was brought back. just like ''okay. im 14 and a half. got that? good.'' #''anyways here's Frank. he's 3 years older than me'' like literal next chapter. we are told Frank is not 3 years older than her. #Hazel: Here's my older brother! [Nico is younger than her in literally every way feasible] #ive just decided Hazel is an unreliable narrator who is just really bad at guessing/remembering how old people are #which like. adhd mood. forgetting how old everybody is. #and she has the bonus excuse of saying her sense of time is skewed from being a ghost for so long #but it's just so funny every time she's just. with the upmost confidence. blatantly the wrong answer. #i want a scene of Hazel looking at Percy and just going ''hm. I bet he's like 20.'' and then learns he's 16 #and she's just [surprised pikachu] #also we know it isn't an error that she's 14 cause in TOA she's like ''oh yeah im learning to drive!'' #so she's 15 by then #it is however an error that *Nico* is said to be 14 in hoo cause he's 12 in TLO and 14 in TOA #but we know in HoO the reason that error was made was cause Rick hadn't figured out Nico's birthday yet #and he was flipping it between January or March #so he just forgot how old Nico is for a series and then we went back to normal

[sunnykeysmash]

Man of words

#s16 spoilers #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #always sunny #macdennis #analysis #parallels #I didn't exactly know how to name this thread but i had some scattered thoughts on it #dennis is the one mac depends on to define things. he's the man of words. but this situation is very limiting #firstly because mac can't read subtext. and dennis will rarely be open in his words. but he also doesn't know everything. #cant define everything. and by forcing the situation to have dennis speak for both. what actually happens is mac gets silenced #and when mac cant speak. no one besides dennis can ever possibly understand him. and that is very isolating. because den wont be open. cant #but they trust each other. theyre following each other's lead. and they're missing the right words #den defines his own self worth in the relationship by being able to have the right words. mac is the man of action! after all #but if mac learns to speak for himself. if mac doesn't depend on den (chokes). if mac is noticed for his appearance as den becomes insecure #(''what if my shirt falls off?'') what does den have left for mac? but mac will fall for him no matter what. #''make up or not you are the golden god! it's all about what's in here💗'' #maybe words arent necessary anymore. dont ask just do. and mac's the man of action... OR IS HE. #mac doesn't really act now does he. they got it backwards. don't they? mac got a lot better with his words in time... #idk lots to think about let me know what u think lolll #threads

[general-cyno]

More empty words. I swear to you the day will come when you have to pick between them.

#trigunedit #tristampedit #trigun stampede #trigun #vash the stampede #vash #millions knives #nai #myedit #mygifs #got out of postgrad class like. hey i should do smth foul so here we are #before someone comes for my ass i know exactly how much nai himself is to blame here #this parallel just breaks my liddol heart in millions (hah) of pieces #the consequences of the two most traumatized deranged dudes in nml's thinking they can fix each other fr #kept listening to sunlight or demise by unl1ke pluto while giffing and boy did it set the mood for this set #it's good btw i recommend it

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob: #BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY. #THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM.. #grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM. #I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much... #GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE.. #i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

[chirpsythismorning]

S5 opener REAL

#byler #will byers #stranger things #every season besides s4-5 opens with non main characters #for el we got a flashback of the lab followed by her perspective in the scene directly after #and I think for Will we will see something similar #with us getting the flashback of him in castle byers in the UD #followed by him in the present in the scene after #but what exactly would warrant that memory being brought up in association with Will in the present? #mayhaps his connection to the mindflayer and the UD run deeper than we realize… #it’s likely not something he could just rid himself of in s2 and now he’s all good #he literally still feels a connection to everything he is feeling #that means he is still technically at risk of being the spy in some capacity #the massacre at Hawkins lab also was a guiding force for El discovering the ‘truth’ in s4 #so it’s likely for Will this instance will operate in a way that re-contextualizes the events in the past up to now #like that time Will suggested they go to the hospital in s3 only for the flayed to be waiting for them #or how flayed Billy knew they were at the cabin… #all while Will was looking cryptic as hell in that scene watching over el #or the fact that he picked Billy in the first place the season after he focused on Will… #you know.. williams #I think the easiest way to introduce the castle Byers flashback is a dream honestly #specifically a dream within a dream #seeing that recent leak and Will looking like either he has a black or hasn’t slept in days #is giving very much ‘I am afraid to sleep bc I’m scared of what will happen’ #I think dude is not exactly possessed in the sense that we already saw in s2 with like the particicles #but he’s still vulnerable #the door is still ajar… #no but fr this idea of opening a door in your mind was so blatant in st2 AND s3b of teen wolf #I think a big part of it will be guilting Will over the fact that Will has helped him before without Will telling the others #hence his weird vibe in s3… like he’s already successfully fucked with Will post s2 potentially with us being none the wiser aka here we go

[inkskinned]

Genuine question, because I don't know a lot about the topic and you're:

If someone identifies as non-binary and genderfluid, which from what I've gathered means something like "human" instead of male or female, doesn't that imply that women are not humans , like whole complete people with richer inner lives? And why is a dislike for (performative) femininity combined with a preference for things that are stereotypically associated with maleness an indicator that one is genderfluid? Does that mean a woman is only a woman if she loves to do make-up, wants to be a mother, only wears skirts, dresses and high heels, shaves daily, is always kind and never angry, has long hair, hates to get dirty and so on? Because I have never met a woman who's exactly like that in my life, but plenty who liked gaming, sports, being loud, opposed to shaving & make-up, who wore pants every day.

I do not believe this is a genuine question, but I'll answer it as if it was, just in case other people have to deal with this, and would like someone who is patient enough to give them the words. The argument you're making here is something that already stems from a deep logical fallacy in the beginning argument. You assume "If you are neither A nor B, and instead C, you think that A cannot be C."

It is a logical fallacy to say "X implies Y" when it does not do so. By this logic, I also believe men are not human. By this logic, I believe only nb people are human.

Some - but not all - rectangles are squares. Some - but not all - animals are dogs. Some humans are nb.

I have given no information about how I present, nor my interests. I am not going to give you that information, because it's irrelevant. What I need you to understand is that, again, you are making the incorrect logical assumption that "If a person dislikes X and likes Y, they must be Z." For all you know, I dislike performative masculinity and like stereotypically feminine preferences.

You then assume your own statement is correct and move forward with your logic as if I had debated you. This is not a "genuine question" about how nb people work, this is assuming being nb is based on a series of preferences.

As a teacher, I do think it's important to tell you: even if this is coming from a genuinely confused place: you are conducting bad research. You begin with an inherently flawed question, as it biased and assumes a position I must defend against - "why don't you see women as people?" Then you make logical conclusions about my personhood and experiences and ask inflammatory questions as if you were debating me, which I am not interested in doing.

If you were my student, and genuinely curious about how nb people see gender, I'd have no trouble with you asking an out nb content creator. If you're really trying to collect information, ask honestly, without personal bias. Here's some examples of what a genuine question would have looked like: - Do your preferences play into your gender identity? - How has being nb informed how you see femininity and masculinity? - What tools do you use to express your gender?

You are mistaking gender expression and gender roles as being part of my identity.

You are most crucially mistaking being nonbinary as being part of the binary and having to exist "in opposition" to other genders in order for it to "make sense". One of the most freeing things about realizing I was nb is that I don't exist in opposition to anything - and also that all gender works similarly.

Gender is a describing word, and this can be confusing for some people. In general, we tend to learn describing words in binary - short/tall, old/young, kind/mean. Therefore, there are (many) people who think - feminine/masculine must be oppositional. Gender is also a feeling word - and again, these are words that can be taught in opposition to each other. Hungry/sated, happy/sad, feminine/masculine.

But because gender is such a rare type of word - feeling and describing - it exists outside of binary. It exists more like art exists.

Green can exist in opposition to red, but it also just exists as its own color. Blue is a part of green, but it is also a part of yellow - blue is still its own color, and yellow is still its own color, and green is still its own color. One painting titled "still-life with fruit" may be a series of vague colors and boxes. Another may be a hyper-realistic singular plum. They are both how the artist expresses their personal vision of the fruit. They might even be by the same artist! And although we may compare them, they are not opposites.

One song by Hozier is not in opposition to one song by Britney Spears. They are different styles, not oppositional styles. You may choose to see them as oppositional - but that is your personal opinion, and not fact. And some people may feel and experience those songs as being actually incredibly in-line with each other.

This is why we say: gender is a spectrum. That all gender roles are made up. Personality, interests, and experiences may shape how someone sees and feels their gender, but it does not define how they see and feel their gender.

When we question gender roles and gender expression like this, it tends to make people upset. People like me tend to make people upset. So much bigotry is based on the lie that "feminine" and "masculine" are oppositional. Opposition is rigid and important - it keeps white hegemonic structures in power. I don't have time or space in this post to talk about how rigid gender roles/enforced gender expression rules are not just sexist but also racist, classist, ableist, homophobic, and bigoted; but I really recommend you do the research on how disruption of the gender binary might put the patriarchy at risk.

The thing you feel trapped by - that "being a woman" is a complicated series of rules - is exactly the kind of thing a nonbinary person would agree with you about. We have to fight hard to be recognized for what is a basic truth about our identity - of course we don't believe that gender expression is equivalent to gender identity.

And truth be told... I think you kind of knew that. I think you kind of knew all of this. I am going to hope that you are young. I'll tell you this: I was raised by someone who was a far-right extremist catholic asshole. I certainly didn't have the research/knowledge/exposure to interrogate this stuff honestly until I was probably 23.

I am so much happier now. I hope one day you get the same opportunities as I had. I hope you choose to move away from bigotry.

love u anyway. all this in kindness only.

#to be deleted #do i accidentally give my short lesson on gender here? yeah #<3 in this u can tell exactly the age that i taught for 15 years lmao #but also like. #yeah you got me.... i have never met a woman before and i totally think women are only fembots #meanwhile every person who has ever read my writing: #every 3rd week this bitch is on her bullshit about how unfair gender rules for women are #this is actually more to help other nb people whom i KNOW get questions like this #than it is to inform the anon #who like v clearly is not doing this in good faith #this is just like the 10th one i got like this #that first logical jump of - you think ur not male or female but human so therefore #women aren't people #was just SO wild .... like #yeah!!! that's totally a normal thing to assume! #do you think people who are like ''well yeah im from america #but i wouldnt consider myself to be from any particular state'' #are actually saying ''i don't think states are american'' #hell when i say #im cuban but i obvi grew up in america im just the daughter of an immigrant #nobody is like -- well. raquel. that means u think no americans live in cuba huh #anyway love u bye #okay to reblog #!! #love u

[cepheusgalaxy]

"You aren't supposed to think

You are a weapon

You accepted it when you came to the valley."

Oh gosh the ANGST

#ctc #ctccomic #countdown to countdown #velinxi #comics #angst #iris black #GUYS THIS IS JUST NOT FAIR #he just went to the valley because there was no place for him to go #and it was lillium's only home right #and he was only left with no place to go because! he! helped! lillium! back! in! the! tower! and! madam! catched! them! both! #did u know how much trauma he got #i know this is exactly the intent here #dan idk if i hate u or love u or what #guys read it

[secondary-colorentimy]

guys beware the twst fanart to regular disney fanart pipeline, anwyay heres miss ma’am

#fanart #disney #maleficent #sleeping beauty #i know exactly how i got to here but how the hell did i get here #LOLLL #sorry i made her a little goofy 🥺 i just like her alot

[cutepoop]

Thinking back on my lifelong journey through one piece

How did I get from "I want Zoro to kiss me, and I want Sanji to stay outside of 100 feet of me."

To "I want Zoro to kiss Luffy, and I want sanji to kiss me."

#i actually know exactly how i got here #i still love zoro but we know what he is #zolu #one piece #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #monkey d. luffy #zoro #luffy #sanji #i literally wrote my last name in as roronoa on my highschool graduation name call papers

[peridots-pixiwolf]

[Start ID. A digital drawing of Minos Prime from Ultrakill, who's wearing a strapless slit dress and sandals of the same deep purple. He faces towards and slightly to the right of the camera, his head is tilted further right. With one hand he gestures in a vague pointing motion, his arm folded and held close to his body. There is nothing in the background, but bracing himself on one arm, Minos is implied to be leaning against something about the height of a countertop. The background is a blank purplish black, save for three diagonal stripes in the colors of the bisexual flag. End ID]

Shading study that quite literally came to me in a dream two weeks ago, after this post apparently beamed itself into my mind

(also a few edits below the cut! they're very slight but whatever :])

[Start ID. Three different versions of the previous drawing. The first changes the tone of the lighting from blue to pink, and similarly the shading from pink to blue. The second replaces the faint black border with pink, purple and blue, syncing with the stripes in the background. The third combines both these changes. End ID]

#the tags got NERFED so let's try this again. #peridots-art #minos prime ultrakill #ultrakill #ask to tag #organs #...? gore maybe? for the whole ''transparent chest/visible cardiovascular system'' thing. not very detailed/realistic though so #i don't think this has all of the same charm as i usually find in my posts. but i tried my best to make it work so i don't think it matters #also ''not too happy with how this turned out'' is something i've seen tacked onto posts worthy of being preserved in museums #i heard someone say his snakes should be ball pythons. i'm not autistic about snakes so i decided to listen to the masters #i still have seven levels to p-rank before i can meet this guy!! halfway there (lust/greed and 1-3 remaining) i've only had my own copy #of ultrakill for a week and i already have 33 hours in. anyway he's grown on me i think. absolute bi king and only monarch i respect <3 #i think it's interesting how i now define my queerness by being gray-ace and trans when i first only identified with bisexual. it's still #an important part of me even if sometimes i forget. sorry that sounds completely unrelated but it's related to my feelings on this piece #anyway (i wonder how many ''anyway''s i've slapped on so far) i also find it interesting how often people draw him with this body type. #i think it's cool there's variety in how people draw the uk characters. it just kinda feels right here? i know i unfortunately don't draw #fat characters often at all (partially due to being a primarily fandom blog who likes to stick to canon designs. i wouldn't say i have #trouble with drawing a realistic amount of fat even on rather thin people though lol) but i try! also genuinely unsure what counts as like. #fat vs chubby? or whatever? i don't know exactly how the terminology works and a fair amount of minos' bulk is muscle anyway but. yeah 👍 #men are pretty in dresses my final message. goodbye

[derpinette]

girls being nice to me gets me higher than ecstasy ever could

#SORRY for the corny post but this is how i truly feel not waxing poetic here like literally it does #i just met the cool girl i keep talking about & IT WAS SÅ FREAKEING ÅSUM ^_^_^_^_^_^ YAY #HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY #OK sorry for screaming But i really am very excited... #turns out she is autistic & we discussed our neuroses while eating & ugh she is just as cool as i thought she was #always tell people you think have Swag that you noticed it on them see how it worked for me #i was so scared of spilling my spaghettis but turns out that was exactly what i needed to do to be friends ^_^ YAY #we went to a lot of different libraries together & i got a small old eyeless bunny plush from the event we went to caus i felt bad for it #i even showed her my pony art & i told her about my cringe interest (that music event i like...♯RealOnesKnow ) #& she thought it was COOL.& i felt like it was really genuine & she talked about reading BL LOL we discussed fujos together #we even talked about finding moids ugly #it was so awesome she was so cool & Nice To Me... i feel like i am on CUMULONIMBUS ( cloud 9 ) ^_^_^_^_^_^ #talking to her in person was so much better than online OMG now i wish i really was friends with you muties IRL #i wish you a Girl Friend experience just like this to those who post about wanting them i really do #also the reason why i even like my Music Event so much is because the first time i watched it was with a bunch of women #& i had so much fun & they were so nice to me i keep returning & now that Event means so much to me & I LOVE IT sorry (NOT) #i know this sounds like tumblrina fiction i would not believe it either IDK what to say to make it sound legitimate 0_0 like it is so crazy #to me as well IDK i can barely get over it & IDK if i really want to so um well YAY ^_^ AIMU SO HEPI :DDD

[doubledyke]

One thing that has forever confused me is why the kids always has cents on their pockets, but the Eds never have. Just, like, the Eds are all from poor families, or their parents are so avaricious who don't give even a nickel? It's pretty evident the Eds would have money for jawbreakers if they gets some allowance.

edd must get an allowance since he was able to buy those books from the library in a case of ed. it's probably pretty decent too, since i imagine his parents as the type to throw money at their problems lol. my hc is that he plays it down to his friends and saves his money or spends it on his own various interests. im sure he buys a round of jawbs every now and again, but it amuses me to think that he has the means to prevent the scammery he claims to detest by simply doling out a few quarters but chooses not to for whatever reason.

it's likely that ed and eddy get allowances, if their parents don't "forget"- eddy's also gotten a couple IOUs in the past- but they're pretty piddly and are immediately gone, spent on jawbreakers and possibly comics/magazines. i don't necessarily think their families are poor but that they may be living beyond their means?? or that things are occasionally tight. im kind of taking stabs in the dark here honestly but it's not that far-fetched imo. eddy's got all that cool, vintage stuff in his room (hand-me-downs), and ed lives in squalor with holes in his socks and underwear.

i don't think either of their mothers work (i hc eddy's mom peddling mary kay/avon but doesn't have many "clients"), so they've only got one income to support them. i forget who it was on here that had the idea of eddy's dad owning the used car dealership that ed's dad works at, but i like that idea. and crazy ed's auto is one audit away from collapse but that sure as hell ain't gonna put a damper on their good time.

ed's dad is utterly despondent bc big eddy won't give him a raise, despite his being there for 15 years (he should be grateful for the mug he got for his 10 year anniversary). but payments for the family jalopy are still being taken out of his paycheck, so he can't leave. ed's mom comes from a well-to-do family but she won't get a dime till her tightfisted folks die. the thought has crossed his mind.... but ed sr. is convinced that she's going to take sarah and leave him with the dumb one when they finally croak.

i got off track there but TL;DR: i think they do all get allowances but edd is a penny pincher who gets a wad every month but keeps it in an eddy-proof coffer. eddy's folks have next to nothing in liquidity and are living on credit and hot air. and ed is considered a discretionary expense during lean months.

#here have some stupid headcanons #idk where all this came from i think im having a fever dream cuz my roommate got covid AGAIN #i dont know how businesses work but im guessing crazy eddy isnt exactly on the up and up iykwim #text

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

#also this is where my headcanons tag is from <3 #( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #( character study. ) A WALKING PLAGUE OF A MAN. #sometimes i just think that. people really like to reduce constantine down to one or two things #and somehow. after 250 issues of putting his life on the line bc he could never really make himself look away from people suffering #the soft sullen guilty person who wants so fucking desperately to be a better man? is never one of those two things #idk man. i think about this issue all the time #if i put these pages side-by-side with his grief in hellblazer 2? with his grief in hellblazer 213? 215? during the empathy virus arc? #it becomes CRYSTAL clear that the guy we know at the end of hellblazer isn't someone the guy who sat vigil for gary lester would recognize #in fact i think he's someone that hellblazer 81 constantine would fucking Hate #ANYway yeah. i don't think he lied to dream about the pouch. i don't think he ever got it open. i don't think that's canon for me #i want him to fucking Earn his asshole nature. the hard way. by making All The Wrong Choices that it took to get him there #he paved that road with good intentions himself but. he also used to remember the ones he started with #idk if i'm making sense but i have had this panel open on my laptop for Two Months now #bc i can never stop thinking about how fucking crushed he is here to realize that he might be exactly as bad a man as sarah said he was #and how little it will surprise him later on to learn that he is Easily capable of So Much Fuckin Worse #and with that your honor the defense rests. our evidence? just. just Look at this fuckin guy #scopophobia / #scopophobia #eye contact / #eye contact tw

[taikanyohou]

there's an alternate reality where this vegas:

and this pete:

most definitely fuck.

#i have a scenario in my head where the bodyguard disperse to find porsche and as vegas is heading out back to main foyer area #he bumps into pete and pete just looks at him with disgust and knows vegas is Upto Some Shit and porsche disappearing is bc of him #and vegas who's already Mad does not need pete to be looking at him like that so he spits out a 'what the fuck are you staring at?' #and pete just cuts to the chase and asks vegas 'where the fuck is he i know you're upto some shit.' and vegas just smirks and says 'who?' #whilst he steps closer to him until he's trapped pete up against a wall and leans into his ear and says 'who pete?' #and pete spits back in vegas' face how 'i know you've got your eyes on him. don't think i haven't been watching your every move.' #and at first it feels like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on vegas but then he composes himself and says #'why? are you jealous?' at which pete just scoffs. and then vegas tries again and says 'or do you like what you see? the thrill of it? #eyeing me just to see what i do next?' #and pete doesnt respond. just bites the inside of his cheek. bc there is a thrill to it #but he is not gonna give vegas the satisfaction. and yet all vegas has to do is look at pete as he clenches his jaw and he gets his answer #and then vegas just rakes his eyes all over pete's body and says 'you've never looked so good'. #and pete isnt gonna get distracted by the fact that vegas of all people is telling him this. so he asks again 'where is he?' #and vegas just tuts and steps even closer and presses their bodies together and says 'fuck him. i'm talking about us. #stop being so fucking good all the time pete. doesnt it get tiring?' #and pete's trying to stay focused on the task at hand here and he knows exactly what vegas is doing as vegas carries on saying #'don't you wanna be bad sometimes pete? what if i let you be that with me? no one has to know.' #and the invitation sounds so tempting. the prospect of it. that he should be with kinn doing his job but instead he's fucking his cousin #and just being the centre of attention for once. being vegas' centre of attention .... it makes pete's toes curl. #and vegas glances down at pete's mouth that's fallen slightly open. and its so pretty. so pretty that he has to touch it. and as he does #pete opens his mouth wider and vegas runs his thumb along pete's entire bottom lip. and he can feel pete breathing hard. #'you want this.' vegas says. 'look how you open up your mouth for me so pretty to have more.' #and now vegas is calling him pretty too and pete's resolve is breaking brick by brick until he moans when vegas wraps his hand around his #throat and vegas says 'i wanna taint you so bad that you'd have to wear this to cover the bruises on your neck. and the next time i see you #i'd do it all over again.' and pete asks in a barely there voice 'next time?' and vegas smirks and leans into pete's ear and says #'if its what you want. because i do. i wanna see you be bad for me. just for me. i want you to come to me only. for me only.' #and then vegas bites down on the skin there making pete clutch onto vegas' blazer and as divine as vegas looks pete wants to rip it off. #and just as he's about to do something about it vegas steps back leaving pete's arm mid air. and pete hates that. and vegas sees it all #over his face and says 'what do you say pete? you either leave with me right now or you can go back and be the good little boy they think #you are.' and vegas holds out his hand. and no one's ever treated pete like this before. so he takes it. and lets vegas take him.