#I misconstrued how that would be interpreted | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

komaniyaexpress · 7 months

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— is this .. me?! .. ♪

sagau — they find a piece of artwork made by the creator; of .. them.

— featuring furina, wanderer, freminet, and neuvillette .. ♪

cw. none wc. 200-400 ea.

furina

it goes without saying .. furina is ecstatic. i mean.. why wouldn’t she be? she wouldn’t make this known, however, because “of course you’re going to wish to capture my enthralling beauty on paper — it’s only fair when faced with such divine radiance!” inside.. she’s a mess. her widened eyes flit over every tiny detail, every little stroke of the pen or paintbrush. “enthralling beauty”, she says, “divine radiance”, she says — but is she truly talking about herself or the way you interpreted her? never in all the centuries she’d been alive would she admit this, but she couldn’t help but feel as if you had made her look much more ethereal than she truly was. she does make it known that she likes it, though. when you turn away from her and murmur something about how you’re not the most proud of this particular piece, she scoffs indignantly. “what? how— ugh, how could you ever say such a thing? do you dare question my judgement?!” she leans back against the couch, hardly able to focus on the taste of the small pastry half-eaten in her hand. she’s incredibly grateful it’s only you two alone, because she has an entirely embarrassing blush upon her face as she chews.

wanderer

“.. seriously?” he kind of just.. glares at it. i’m sorry, but i don’t really know what you were expecting. depending on the kind of mood he’s in, he’ll either simply cast it aside without a second glance or attempt to mockingly chew you out over it. it doesn’t matter whether he actually likes it or not; he is not going to let you live it down. he’s not amused, but i can’t really imagine him actually getting upset about it either. he’ll scoff, maybe roll his eyes if he’s feeling generous enough, then go about his day without another thought to it. even with his nonchalant, near-annoyed demeanor over the whole thing, when you’ve left and he’s alone — he looks for it again and stares at it like he didn’t get to before. as his eyes travel the lines that form a quite accurate depiction of his visage — implying you spent a lot of time looking at him — he can’t help but wonder why, of all people, you chose him as your muse. he does.. appreciate the sentiment, though, even if he’ll never voice it. he catches himself before he spirals. it doesn’t matter, he reminds himself. with a huff, he sets it down again and crosses his arms, trying to ignore the fact it does indeed make him feel.

freminet

if you were expecting anything other than freminet being an absolute mess.. you’d be sorely mistaken. of course, he’s not upset at all. he’s just.. very, very embarrassed. he loves your art, he does. he doesn’t want you to misconstrue this, and makes sure you know it’s not your problem, but his own. make sure to reassure him. the moment he lays his eyes upon it, it’s evident; his eyes widen almost comically, and, suddenly, he has the surely inexplicable urge to run for his life. that wouldn’t be fair to you, though, so he bites it back and forces himself to stay put. the gears whir in his mind like he’s a piece of the machinery he holds so dear. he doesn’t know how to thank you — should he thank you? he doesn’t know what to say at all, more like. he clears his throat, unable to get any words out; his mouth goes dry and his heart practically beats out of his chest, all the while he’s looking just as frozen in time as your rendition of him. he lets out an audible sigh of relief when you reassure him that he doesn’t need to speak. he can’t handle you when you stare at him like this, and asks if you’d be okay with him putting on his diving helmet. once you’ve given him your permission — which you reiterate he doesn’t need — he quickly places it over his head, letting out a soft sigh of relief when you can no longer see his face. his gaze doesn’t leave the art, not for a moment. he stands still and stares at it, unable to tear his eyes away from the lines that, somehow, paints a clear picture of.. him. that you made. he still does not make any move to talk, and he’s very glad that you’re so understanding. eventually, he murmurs an apology, and through the lump in his throat, reassures you that (if there was ever any doubt), he likes it.

neuvillette

it was raining. it had been raining all day. naturally, this worried you, and your first thought was to check up on neuvillette. exhausted yet unchanging, neuvillette sifted through his paperwork without taking a single break to rest. however, all things must, and eventually, his tire overcame him — letting out a sigh, he placed his palm upon his forehead and leaned into it, his eyes fluttering closed. it took him a moment to open them again, but when he finally did.. after such a long day, eyes sore with the strain of reading fine print jammed together so thickly the pages looked more inky than ivory, the last thing he expected was to see was a piece of blank paper on his desk. curious, he picks it up and flips it over, assuming it to be more writing on the other side — only to be met with.. himself, staring right back at him. the neuvillette now is slightly slouched over, eyes drooping with the weight of an unrelenting week. he’s unable to see his true reflection — in a mirror or water, not a near-perfect version of him on paper — so he couldn’t really tell, but even so, he can’t help but feel as if this version of him must appear much more composed. he pushes the thought away, stares at the piece a bit closer, and he eases a bit. not only was it a splendid break to the monotony of monochromatic paperwork, it was made by you. it’s now that you walk into the room. in a split second, you realize what he’s holding. you blink. he smiles, gentle and soft. the rain stops pouring.

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zahri-melitor · 4 months

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I always feel the interpretation of Tim and Damian’s first introduction is misconstrued.

Tim is in Robin mode: he’s used to interacting and meeting with young kids in that scenario, so he slips automatically into ‘get down to Damian’s level, offer a hand to shake (to make the kid feel grown up and acknowledged), make a joke to hide his hurt when his friendly overture is snubbed, in case Damian actually doesn’t understand the gesture’. Tim’s actually pretty good with civilian kids and with sussing out how to approach social group dynamics in an effective way, but he’s walking into this interaction as Seventeen Year Old Robin Talking To A Ten Year Old Non-Vigilante Kid, and starting out on that basis. Is the ‘this is a handshake’ joke also a bit of Tim socially relegating Damian? Yes. In a way it’s also Tim trying to put Damian in his place, because he’s gone off script, and a joke like that would normally remind another kid in say a school setting of what they need to do to fit in to group dynamics.

Damian, however, is not a normal kid, and reads Tim’s actions of ‘get down on his level, use a gesture that suggests we’re equal’ as being condescending and denigrating, because he’s Not! A! Civilian! Kid! He’s not normally socialised, so actions that play well with a group of fifth graders seem mocking to him. He desperately wants to prove that he’s superior to Tim (as Robin, the person in the role he wants), so shaking hands to show they’re equal is not something he wants to do. So he reacts and snubs Tim’s hand, and gets his caustic attitude out, and they’re immediately at loggerheads.

Both of them went in making incorrect assumptions. But the initial move on Tim’s part wasn’t actually intended to insult Damian – it just worked out that way due to his complex background.

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darkcircles4lyfe · 4 months

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Behind the locked door

In honor of Izuku’s mask disintegrating into rubble, I think it’s finally time for me to really dig deep into his character. I’ve been keeping this one in my back pocket for a while. Amid all the talk about Izuku’s fading narration, the “control your heart” subplot, I’ve been trying to find the words to articulate how I know exactly where this is going, at least on a certain level. Most recently, I read this meta from pika who brings up how the word “control” alone can be misconstrued (by us). And then I thought about how a while back I made a similar point, although I said Izuku was the one who got it wrong. At that time, I was holding back a huge piece of evidence because it was external to the story and I wasn’t sure it would be received well. As a result, my argument fell a little flat. Well, now—after 411, right before leaks for 412—it might be my last chance to play this card.

So about that external evidence. I struggle to bring it up because it’s gonna sound an awful lot like I’m projecting onto Izuku if I don’t do it justice. But… I look at the way his storyline has been going lately and I see a pattern emerging that I’m very familiar with. Fortunately, I don’t have to dump a bunch of personal junk on you in order to illustrate this pattern, because a certain personality typing system already has it all figured out: the Enneagram.

Now, hang on. I’m not one to put people in boxes. My trans ass? I managed to get a different result every time I retook the P0ttermore quiz. MBTI, zodiacs—not my thing. But the Enneagram comes the closest I’ve ever seen to covering all the bases and revealing actually meaningful insight, at least for myself. On top of that, I find it extremely useful for fleshing out fictional characters, hence this post will be taking advantage of that.

For those who aren’t familiar with it, here’s a quick overview: The Enneagram consists of 9 individual personality types, each arranged carefully in a sequential, circular manner. They are also simply named 1 through 9. While this might seem kinda basic, there is actually a surprising amount of nuance and fluidity involved. Typing is done largely through personal introspection (you don’t really have to take a test). Adjacent numbers share some core themes with each other, and according to a web of arrows between them, one type can take on either positive or negative traits associated with other types depending on how emotionally ‘healthy’ they are, causing a lengthy spectrum of different ways each type can manifest. That part gets kinda complicated to explain here, so for more info, the Enneagram Institute website is a decent place to start. I also highly recommend the Enneagram album by Sleeping At Last (and if you really want to dedicate some time, the accompanying podcast) to really get inside the heads of the types on a deeper level.

My interest in applying the Enneagram to Izuku comes from observing how differently one can interpret his character based on whether you read him as a 2 or a 9. And even though no one uses this language to talk about him, the distinction accounts for a bunch of different rifts in the fandom: whether you appreciate bkdk’s relationship, whether you can acknowledge Izuku’s flaws and weaknesses, the severity of his vigilante/rogue phase, and most importantly the gravity of his concealed heart, his rage, and what it all means—what he needs in order to grow and triumph.

Discussion of Enneagram types in the fandom is pretty scarce, but where it exists, I have only seen him labeled as a 2. Type 9 and type 2 can be similar at a glance in a lot of ways (actually, 9s can be mistaken for any type because they are like all of them combined). It’s easy to see Izuku as a 2 because he is the helping hero archetype. He puts others’ needs above his own and he is always ready and eager to help. If you listen to Sleeping At Last’s song for 2, you’ll notice that it’s all about care and noble sacrifice with the underlying theme of neglecting or even harming oneself: “I just want to build you up, until your good as new, and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too.” Sounds pretty obvious, right? Well, here’s the thing. You really get to know what your type is by how it hits you where it hurts, so I like to focus on each type’s basic fear and basic desire, first and foremost, as a tell. A 2′s basic fear is of being worthless and unloved. Consequently, their most basic desire is to be loved. And 2s have been taught through their negative experiences that love is conditional, something they have to earn from others. They need to be needed. So let’s say you think Izuku is a 2. This means you consider his heroic, self-sacrificing tendencies to be a result of his growing up quirkless and being told he is worthless and powerless because of it. Through this lens, he is trying to prove himself to the world by being useful. Along these lines, you may also assume he is trying to prove himself to Katsuki. Taking this train of thought even further, you may interpret Izuku’s relationship with Katsuki as an obsession of his, where he is either blind to Katsuki’s more negative traits in favor of gaining his love and praise, or else bitterly determined to prove him wrong. This is how a 2 might behave in an unhealthy relationship with an 8, which, yes, I do think Katsuki is an 8. That’s a tangent for another time, though.

But does Izuku ever “need to be needed?” It’s worth noting that while 2s’ search for validation might seem insincere, it is actually motivated by a deep, heartbreaking insecurity. They think they don’t even deserve love unless they are useful to someone, so they do everything they can to be worthy. Does Izuku show signs of this motivation?

If I stop to think about it, I can’t exactly see this in Izuku’s character. Yeah, his dream is to be a hero, and in his childhood, he was denied that dream. However I think we need to take a step back from that for a second if we want to dig deep. I mean, a lot of the other characters also behave heroically, act selflessly, and strive to help. Does that mean all of them are 2s as well? Of course not. So let’s instead turn to observe how Izuku acts with his loved ones, friends, and peers in other/adjacent contexts:

Inko: He is committed to protecting his mother from fearing for his safety. He wants to be good enough to not cause her to worry, rather than good enough to make her proud or make her love him. Idk about his father but at this point I think it’s safe to assume he is deeply unimportant.

All Might: I would describe their relationship as one of mutual responsibility. Izuku feels a responsibility to uphold All Might’s legacy, All Might feels a responsibility to teach him well. Because of this mutuality, I don’t think it quite makes sense to say Izuku deliberately seeks approval for its own sake. You know what I mean? They may be a mentor and a pupil but in practice they are almost more like co-conspirators. They don’t really have a power dynamic going on.

Shouto, Tenya, other friends: Izuku seems to take an interest in what makes his friends tick, and he sets himself aside in order to both analytically and intuitively determine what’s wrong and how to solve it. Examples include his fight against Shouto in the sports festival, and his stubborn concern for Tenya’s reaction to his brother’s forced retirement. He will put himself in the line of fire specifically when confronted with another person’s inner demons. This is not a labor that is asked of professional heroes, it’s just who Izuku is. You can also extend this observation to how he sees through Tomura to Tenko, but I’ll get to that later. Basically, while 2s seek to help in all kinds of ways, a 9’s strategy is always centered on the realm of the mind.

Kota: Adjacent to the paragraph above, before Izuku literally gets into a position where he needs to save Kota, he becomes interested in the boy’s point of view out of genuine curiosity. He doesn’t go “oh no, this kid doesn’t like heroes, I better get him to like heroes.” Instead he seeks out information as to why he thinks that way, and patiently listens. He’s sorry about what happened to Kota, and he understands. Twice (ch 71 and 72), he recognizes the fact that everyone has their own point of view on quirks, and he can’t really do anything about that.

Mirio: This might be one of the most telling examples. Mirio is the platonic ideal of an All Might successor. He’s “perfect.” He even looks the part. While this initially makes Izuku uncomfortable, he doesn’t become insecure and defensive over it. On the contrary, he easily comes to the conclusion that actually, Mirio should have One for All. Just like that (ch 172). If Mirio hadn’t dismissed the “hypothetical,” he probably would have gone through with giving it to him. That’s not how a 2 would respond. A 2 would double down and aim to be better than Mirio by trying to establish some relationship of need, fueled by the insecurity. Their shared subplot with Eri would have looked pretty different, I think.

Katsuki: I’ve mentioned before that I believe their rivalry only exists because Katsuki put it there. First of all, we can see that after the sludge villain incident, Izuku weirdly takes Katsuki’s dismissal of Izuku’s help as practical advice. Like, “oh yeah, I guess what I did was pretty stupid and dangerous, and I’m not cut out for this hero stuff. Now I can move on and find a realistic career.” Hello?? He accepted that so easily. So Izuku clearly isn’t motivated by a desire to prove himself to Katsuki. Even when he proclaims he’s going to surpass him, it’s like he’s happily mimicking Katsuki, not reacting based on insecurity or pride. Izuku is content to meet Katsuki wherever he is, and he’s satisfied with whatever kind of relationship they are able to have, including a rivalry, so he isn’t vying for his affection either. We can observe this when he gives up the role of reaching out a hand to save Katsuki to Kirishima, and also when he thinks about how “blessed” he is to even have a normal conversation with Katsuki. He doesn’t push things. It’s also stated in Deku vs. Kacchan 2 that Izuku doesn’t excuse or overlook Katsuki’s “bad side” but still admires him for his other traits. This is not at all characteristic of a toxic 2x8 relationship.

When 2s are at their very worst or pushed into unhealthy situations, they tend to become more needy and self-centered, even downright manipulative. But at Izuku’s worst, when he went rogue, he pushed everyone away to avoid being a burden. When the refugees at UA tried to prevent him from returning, he was like, “you’re right” and would have turned back immediately if not for his friends, loved ones, and other people who care about him telling him it was all okay. Meanwhile, Katsuki, in true 8 fashion, was pissed off at being rejected and having to deal with Izuku’s stubborn and evasive side (oh yeah, have I mentioned 9s are actually stubborn as hell?), but he made sure to establish that they are (he is) here to step in when Izuku can’t handle things by himself. Katsuki even opened up and admitted to his own weaknesses to show why mutual support is so important. Tbh, a lot of the above can be construed as just super healthy type 2 behavior, but not this. The way Izuku acts at his lowest, and his dynamic with Katsuki? Totally different. Dead giveaway for a 9.

Let’s get into the type 9 itself in more detail to show how it applies to Izuku more deeply—seriously, it’s beat for beat. One of the key differences is, while 2s seek validation, 9s are actually resigned to the belief that they aren’t important. Similar to 2s, a 9′s basic fear is of separation, but their basic desire is actually just peace or harmony rather than love. Notice how these motivations are just like a 2’s, except they have the “self” part taken out. With that in mind, they “achieve” their basic desire through selflessness in and of itself, without the need for recognition. That’s not to say that 9s are better than 2s. In fact, a 9 can be worse, in a way. If unhealthy, they will seek peace at almost any cost to themselves. In other words, they can be more self-destructive while still under the impression that they are doing just fine. “Peace” may refer to the expression of empathy, fulfilling the needs of others, sheltering someone, or mediating a fight—but also to repressing their own opinions and needs, not “rocking the boat,” ignoring negative emotions, or becoming a vessel for someone else to vent to.

What about inner peace? 9s value serenity, and thus they have a complicated relationship with the most tumultuous of emotions: anger. On the surface, 9s look like the type that is extremely slow to anger and highly tolerant. However, as much as they would like to believe this about themselves too, deep down, 9s are afraid of what might happen if they lose control. My phrase for it is this: I feel like a bottled tornado. Personally, I also think of anger as a basic desire to make others feel your pain—not necessarily sadistically, but in an effort to be known, to be understood. The difficult thing to grasp, especially for a 9, is that this is NOT inherently a bad thing. It isn’t wrong to seek sympathy. On the contrary, it is harmful to tell yourself that getting angry is wrong, because it’s like telling yourself that your pain is wrong, your pain doesn’t matter.

The problem is it doesn’t stop there. A 9, in shutting down their anger, ends up with such a low opinion of their own heart, their other emotions dull along with it. They cry less, laugh less, love less. It’s often said that they “fall asleep” to themselves. It all starts with anger. It’s interesting to note how different this whole mindset is from toxic masculinity—where men only feel allowed/able to express emotions through anger. This is sorta like the opposite. Anger becomes the dam rather than the river. For Izuku, I want us to consider that his suppression of anger carries with it the implication that he is hiding other things, too. It’s a given. There’s a whole sea of feelings out there, and we can only see the waves hitting the shore. This brings me to the whole “control your heart” thing. I do think it is worth mentioning that Banjou didn’t just tell Izuku to exercise control. He also told him that his anger could be useful if it is harnessed. With this added context, “control” here means “to master.” And Izuku seemed to grasp this concept… sorta. I think that if Izuku is like a 9, we can assume he has trouble understanding how anger could be a worthy source of strength. His emotions in relation to Katsuki feel more like a weakness to him, a character flaw in a hero, who is supposed to be detached and selfless. But he’s trying to understand, even though he’s afraid of it. He essentially applied the same strategy he used for mastering OFA itself: incremental strength training. Which, okay. Take a moment to absorb how odd that is, in relation to emotions, specifically. Does one learn to cry incrementally? Does one learn to use anger by bottling a fucking tornado?? Like, what, you think you’re gonna be able to let out juuust the right amount of air to avoid an explosion??? No, man… if you want to be the master of your emotions you have to be willing to sit with them. Confront them. Listen to them. Take them in completely and accept them as a part of yourself.

For someone like Izuku, though, it is very difficult to imagine how this is even possible. Tomura, as with every villain, can be used to reflect his hero counterpart’s greatest fear about himself. Tomura literally touches everyone and everything with his rage, and as a physical manifestation of that desire to pass his own pain onto others, destruction radiates from his fingertips. Thus, losing control in this manner must be Izuku’s worst nightmare, as if he would be completely unable to stop the collateral damage like an infinite line of dominoes. But his anger is not something he can overcome, as such.

An overarching theme in this heroes vs. villains conflict is that the villains are not merely obstacles to be overcome. Just think back to Himiko’s bitter rejection of the heroic sense of superiority. She demanded not to be pitied, condescended to, or lied to. Likewise, the answer cannot be that Izuku needs to restrain himself where Tomura doesn’t. What purpose would it serve to show that Izuku is better than him? Certainly not saving Tomura. If this was a battle against AFO, it might have been a different story. In that case, Izuku would have to overcome his emotional manipulation tactics. Tomura, on the other hand, is not so strategic. With his strangely childlike tendencies, he must relish making Izuku mad because it brings them closer to the same wavelength. It’s his own twisted way or seeking sympathy, or at least, the closest thing to sympathy he can get anymore, because he believes he is beyond saving. With that in mind, Izuku isn’t going to get anywhere unless he rises to meet him. Izuku has to match Tomura’s hatred with equally strong emotions of his own, whatever they may be, or else face the loss of OFA (as established in 305). This is not an easy thing to ask of a 9, once they have started to pull the blood from their extremities, become cold and numb. Bringing back circulation is painful and makes the skin crawl.

In case you’re worried about the focus on anger here, I want to reiterate that concealed anger in a 9 is just one sign of so much more. Back when everyone started fretting about Izuku’s habit of self-sacrifice, which would have been the only thing we need to worry about if he were a 2, I was freaking out because Izuku was also starting to look like a person who has too many secrets. You don’t even have to acknowledge the possibility that he lied about what triggered blackwhip. It’s written all over his face all the time these days. It’s especially noticeable when you contrast him with Katsuki after all his own growth. Katsuki confides in people. He acknowledges his weaknesses. He enjoys being himself. He asserts his place. He thinks about Izuku all the damn time and now he even lets himself be soft about it. All this warmth while Izuku is distant, muted, and blank. I know all too well what this state of mind is like. Man, I hate secrets. You get to the point where you don’t know how to talk about even the simplest most inconsequential shit. And the bigger things? They’re like a growing snowball of words in your throat that cannot possibly fit out of your mouth. The “easiest” way to cope is to simply fade into the rhythm of life. Go with the flow.

Since 9s have a natural curiosity about the interiority of other people, they may choose to focus on that in order to divert their own attention away from themselves. Taken to the extreme, they will lose track of their sense of self. Like I said, you can see Izuku doing this as he fights, analyzing the psyche of his opponent, and his match against Shouto in the sports festival was a fantastic early example. They became friends because of how observant Izuku is. His emotional intelligence and intuition are very strong, but gradually, as he has taken on greater responsibilities and experienced more trauma, he has gotten worse at applying these skills to himself. You know, we go on and on about how his narration has been reduced to nearly nothing, and it’s not just an absence of introspection, it’s an absence of self. It creates a lack of ownership over the narrative—what should be his narrative.

Right now, he’s focusing on trying to see Tomura as a person, figuring him out. I think it would be really satisfyingly ironic if in the process, he ends up uncovering insights about himself instead. It’s about time we learn what Izuku’s secrets are. I don’t actually think that Izuku mastering anger will constitute the emotion that is strong enough to keep Tomura from taking OFA. Moreover, he can’t expect to reach Tomura’s core, Tenko, unless he exposes his own. Rather, anger is the conduit for Izuku to unlock something else. Think of the way he described how Katsuki is his image of victory. The feeling manifests when he asserts a stronger sense of self (the urge to win) and he becomes more free with his words. I have no doubt that Tomura has the power to make unfiltered honesty spill out of him. He knows how to bring out his selfish needs, his pain, his pressure points, his fears, his insecurities. Hell, maybe Mt. Fuji erupting is a metaphor. I want to see Izuku explode while Tomura watches with mad glee. But then I want Izuku to Realize Things such that it finally sets him free. Then, instead of Tomura witnessing yet another person he touches fall apart, he gets to see someone become whole.

"I let the scale tip, feel all of it. It's uncomfortable but right. And we were born to try to see each other through. To know and love ourselves and others well is the most difficult and meaningful work we'll ever do." --Sleeping At Last, 'Nine'

#you are very much welcome to send me asks about this and the enneagram etc because it's very fun to talk about!#bnha meta #bnha manga #bnha 411 #bnha 412 #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #character analysis #midoriya izuku #shigaraki tomura #bakudeku #bkdk #dekubaku #dkbk #lin speaks

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iwanthermidnightz · 6 months

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Ahhh did you see the new rolling stone gaylor article ?? I'm so impressed.

When Taylor Swift released the long-awaited rerecording of her genre-leaping album 1989, fans eagerly pored over vault tracks, theories of double albums, and limited edition vinyl releases that could predict Swift’s next re-record. But for Gaylors, a dedicated Swift fanbase that’s existed for over a decade, Swift’s prologue and a mention of her feelings surrounding speculation about her love life have dampened what should have been an exciting release.

Thinking about the 24-year-old she was when 1989 was released, Swift writes, “I swore off dating and decided to only focus on myself, my music, my growth, and my female friendships. If I only hung out with my female friends, people couldn’t sensationalize or sexualize that — right? I would learn later on that people could and people would.” Many users online interpreted that line as a subtle callout to Gaylors, supporters of the niche theory that Swift is queer or leaves queer messaging in her songs. But several members of the Gaylor community tell Rolling Stone they’re actually not convinced the callout is about them — and are receiving targeted and homophobic harassment in the process.

For those not extremely online, Gaylor is an unproven theory that Swift is queer and leaves messages alluding to past relationships in her work, a fan theory that originated on the blogging site Tumblr in the mid-2010s. It is also the fan name for groups of people who believe there are queer interpretations of Swift’s songs. (While Swift has been a vocal ally and advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and representation, she has never publicly commented on Gaylor and has only been in public relationships with men.) Gabriela, a 27-year-old Gaylor, tells Rolling Stone she doesn’t believe Swift’s prologue is about the Gaylor fandom specifically, but she’s frustrated at the use of the word ‘sexualize,” which she says has long been co-opted by fans who think Gaylor is harmful or inherently rude.

“I think it’s a call-out yes, but more to the media at large, rather than just about the Gaylor subset of her fandom, which is only a small piece of her complaint. [Swift] doesn’t want to be assumed to be in a sexual, romantic relationship with anyone she is seen next to,” Gabriela says. “Hetlors [those who object to the Gaylor discourse] are cherry-picking to make it about her ‘shutting down gay rumors.’”

As an internationally beloved artist — one capable of selling more movie tickets than Martin Scorcese and convincing an entire fandom to rebuy her music her way — Swift professes an unusually close relationship with her followers. The lyricist often hides clues in her work and visuals, encouraging fans to decipher what coded messages and hints she’s leaving behind. But Swift has also verbalized how upset slut-shaming and assumptions about her love life make her. Anna, a 23-year-old Gaylor who uses they/them pronouns, agrees that the prologue wasn’t about Gaylor specifically but says they do think all Swift fans online could operate with more boundaries.

“Of course, I’m a little annoyed that people are pulling one or two lines of the prologue out of context and using it as a justification to be homophobic and send death threats to my friends, but I don’t think Taylor is at fault for people misconstruing her words and I think she has every right to call out things that make her uncomfortable,” Anna tells Rolling Stone. “’Shipping’ culture across the fandom seems to have gotten really ugly recently on all accounts. I’ve seen people speculate on her sex life, openly and graphically, track her location, insinuate that she wants/has children and just overall cross a lot of boundaries. It may be unpopular for me to say it, but I do think members on all sides needed to be put in their place a little bit.”

All of the Gaylor fans who spoke to Rolling Stone expressed that beyond the prologue, much of the reaction to them as a group has stemmed from a lack of understanding about why the fandom exists and has lasted for almost a decade. Liv, 26, says that the Gaylor community has been a large part of her life — it’s even how she met her current boyfriend. And she tells Rolling Stone the identity has allowed her to have a deeper understanding of Swift’s lyrics.

“It’s always fun for me to think about what inspired a song. So even if it’s not what happened in Taylor’s life, it’s interesting for me to think about a song through a queer lens, because I feel like it adds a lot of layers that a song about a guy might not have,” Liv says. “And I don’t really know any straight people who are that deeply obsessed with Emily Dickinson.”

The X account @gaylornews has over 12,000 followers. The admin behind the account declined to include her name but tells Rolling Stone Gaylor isn’t just a fun internet conspiracy theory, but means a lot to the community.

“Analyzing her lyrics through a queer perspective is more about defying heteronormative narratives and finding representation and not about invading Taylor’s privacy or sensationalizing her personal life,” the account owner says. “Gaylor is about queer people finding a safe space which straight people not only find but already have everywhere, is about all the things you never learned about yourself, is about feeling seen and genuinely understood.”

Regardless of what people think the prologue is about, Gaylors are worried about one thing: targeted harassment from more mainstream fans of Swift. In an April 2023 report from social media tracking firm Graphika, researchers found that Gaylors made up nine percent of active Swift fans on social media, but are often exiled and isolated from neutral fan spaces. The study also found that anti-Gaylor accounts, also referred to as Hetlors, “play a key role” in how the theory is presented to mainstream audiences and often misrepresent commonly held Gaylor beliefs, which can lead to the harassment and doxxing of neutral Gaylor accounts. Each of the Gaylors who spoke to Rolling Stone detailed targeted harassment, hate speech, and homophobia they’ve received online, something they all believe Swift would stand against.

“I think that people who are against Gaylors think we’re way more serious about it than we are. A lot of the things we say are jokes or ideas or possible theories,” Liv says. “And at the end of the day, none of us know what the truth is about her personal relationships. And we shouldn’t want to because [Taylor Swift] is entitled to her privacy.”

(link)

#wow well done!

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dilfsonic · 8 months

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Okay so, unpopular take that applies specifically to my Service Animal AU: Shadow and Maria are not siblings/“sibling coded.”

If you’ve read the notes on the original lore post describing them, you probably already know what I mean. While they can and will have moments of inspired ‘sibling’ like love for each other, that’s simply too disingenuous a way to describe them. They’re so much more. They’re each other’s only friend, they’re charge and ward, they can mimic the attitudes of siblings but never fully understand them, they have no romantic interests (until sonic shows up) and so mimic certain attitudes in that way with each other as well. But all of these are mere approximations and mimicry without fully encompassing any of those relationships. Shadow’s “affections” can be easily misconstrued for holding more weight than they actually are intended, as gestures such as hand holding/cuddling/purring are all utilitarian expressions meant to ease Maria’s physical discomfort or anxiety in accordance to his job as her service animal. Nothing more, nothing less. Maria knows this, but others can and do easily make their own assumptions.

I’ve been a little nervous to express this interpretation as I feel it can be really easily misunderstood, and I don’t want to give people the idea that even the immensely “”romantic”” or affectionate gestures or affiliations applied to them are actually meant to be shippy. Their love is an all encompassing one, and to call it sibling-like or romantic are both incorrect, as they’re neither. Ultimately applying any real world label to this au will be incorrect and a little too extreme in either direction; the closest possible relationship that may most accurately describe them is that between a service dog and their owner, if such a service dog was as intellectually capable of their human.

They’re what you get when you’re the only two people in your whole world. They’re what you get when you pair together someone who’s indebted to the other for their existence, which goes both ways. And by normal relationship standards, I would disagree to consider it a ‘healthy’ dynamic, but it also cannot be judged by the milestones of what a normal and healthy dynamic even looks like.

Shadow is nothing without her (in his own mind), and this lends itself to an inability to conceptualize a ‘self’ to even express. Maria hates how Shadow views himself — a tool, a trained dog, a guard, a companion of necessity — but she also can’t avoid using him accordingly. That means having no choice but to treat him not as a person, but as her crutch. Shadow is little aware of her internal struggle with the dehumanization of him because they communicate this almost never. Nor does he mind being dehumanized, he has never been a ‘person’ since the day he was created anyway.

Maria would love nothing more than to call Shadow a little brother, her best friend, someone who she could’ve had take her to prom because nobody at her school wanted to indulge the sickly child, nor did anyone even know her well enough considering she spent most of her time out of school than in it. She’d love to call Shadow these normal things, but she can’t. Not yet at least. Sonic will slowly change them and the way they can view friendship and the world and what it means to belong to each other, but it’s hard work on Shadow and Maria’s part.

They are something that can’t be easily defined, because it’s complex, and messy, and while there are bright moments of wonder and joy, is also overwhelmingly dark in its implications, and they can feel utterly alone even when standing right next to each other. Shadow owes Maria everything, and Maria owes Shadow everything, but each underestimates the full gravity of how their own existence touches and expands the other. They consider themselves worthless compared to the other, and that’s what gets in the way of them truly being able to open their hearts to each other. The way Sonic later teaches them HOW to open their hearts.

So yeah. I hope this concept of blurring the lines doesn’t scare too many folks, but this is based on my personal interpretation of how I feel a continued existence between them in canon or a canon adjacent world might have been like. I know it’s easy and delightful to see em like wholesome siblings — which is also an interpretation I wholeheartedly endorse and adore, particularly the way my bud @ratrrriot draws them (please go follow them if you don’t already, their shadow and maria artwork is to die for!) — but this is just a slightly different and admittedly darker take on them that I hope won’t ruffle too many feathers. Sibling coded relationships between characters are so wonderful, but in this case doesn’t feel satisfying or like it can possibly cover the scope of them for this particular au. I dislike labeling them or comparing them to another dynamic, like Sonic and Tails who are very explicitly brotherly with one another.

I may make a separate post on Sonic’s impact in this world and how he touches the lives of Shadow and Maria, Helen (when she comes along), and this world’s version of Robotnik (Julian) if people are interested in that. I take a lot of inspiration from his characterization in the Adventure games and Sonic X for this AU, as he’s most closely canon-aligned compared to Shadow and Maria who are a little different; though I’m gonna try my best to fit their “canon” personalities into a completely different scenario. Such as, Shadow lacks the innate hatred he has for mankind as he never loses Maria, but he will retain the “my body is a tool” mentality and the general uncaring of others opinions of him, etc.

#I would love to hear thoughts so long as they’re civil #I have a playlist for them but I’ve been waffling on whether to share it or not #ultimately this is a Sonadow au as much as it’s an exploration of shadow and Maria’s peculiar relationship here #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #Maria Robotnik #service animal au #my post

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dutchdread · 1 month

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Hello, Dutch, I love reading your texts. Now that you've finished Rebirth, I wanted to know what you thought of the date with Tifa at the Gold Saucer. Do you think the fact that you can only kiss Tifa is a sign that the devs want to end the LTD once and for all?

I like to think the DEVs don't make those decisions just to prove people wrong. I'd like for the kiss between Cloud and Tifa to be about Cloud and Tifa, and not Cleriths, so no. I do think in general they decided to be more explicit this time around and leave less wiggle room. Which they have basically already confirmed by stating that the remake will have less room for interpretation.

"In final fantasy VII Remake, there will be much less room for player imagination. This fact will probably change feel of the story considerably. People who know the original might not know quite how to take it. Such is the fear that I have." ~ Nojima

The word he uses is "fear", not "hope". Based on this I'd say that with Rebirth they weren't necessarily intending to put a stop to people making up their own stories, but that it is an unavoidable consequence of telling the story right. With modern graphics and an expanding story you can't really write characters and scenes in ways that can be interpreted a 1000 ways. Because that means writing your characters without a strict identity. They lack clear goals and motivations. It's kinda like the story version of a "spork", by trying to be two things you just kinda end up with a shitty version of both. If you want to tell Cloud and Tifas story as engagingly as possible, then you'll have to have him react to her the way a man in love would, his love should be reflected in his body language and actions. But if you do that, then the LTD is dead, which it now is.

We have a story where Tifa and Clouds courtship is a big part of their continuing character growth, and a game where you're rewarded for maximizing your team members affections for you. But if Cloud and Tifa are already shown being romantically paired even in the most bare bones playthrough of the game, since it's a core part of their story, then you can't have the effort of getting max affection with Tifa culminate at the date with just a hug or something else that could still be sort of misconstrued as not being romantic for the people who can't stand reality. That would be hugely disappointing and anti-climactic, especially since they already hugged in part 1 and already nearly kissed in Gongaga.

No, Tifa and Cloud didn't kiss to disprove Clerith, they kissed because their romance is an integral part of their story, they kissed because you can't have FFVII without having Cloud and Tifas Romance.

#ffvii rebirth #cloti

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itspyon · 4 months

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He said he doesn’t support nsfw art

You quoted people saying the he said to stop or to keep it private. So yeah he never said any of those words but he clearly says I don’t support it.

So what are we supposed to do. He didn’t specify he said he doesn’t support it. For me personally that means people should stop making nsfw art. But that’s my interpretation so what is the problem with people interpreting it differently like I’m not trying to misconstrue his own words but that’s how it seems to me

we weren't the point. us, as fans, weren't the point. "dream enables and support doxxing" "dream enables and supports harassment" "dream enables and supports nsfw content of him and his friends and with minors". we are not the point. giving a direct speech saying "i do NOT support this content" is the point

you're free to do whatever you want. but if antis catch you doing it, they cannot longer say "this is what dream enables and supports" because there's textual literal video proof of him saying he doesn't

that's what i mean with paying attention to what he was saying, how he was saying it, and in what context. fans weren't the point here, he says at the end of the video he doesn't want any fan to take anything negative out of it. but "sometimes you being odd makes me look odd". this is about him, him shielding himself finally from all the bullshit people throw at him

no anti can ever say he's okay with weird content, with nsfw content, with doxxing and harassment. because he isn't, and there's recorded proof he isn't. that was the goal

i personally still aren't even sure what i'm going to do with my nsfw art ! i would hate to put him in a position where people weaponise my art to make him look bad. but i also understand that if you keep everything fully in private, or even completely away from twitter, the risk of that happening is minimal to basically 0

( and sure you can scratch off this as my interpretation of his words. but if you start harassing other fans for content they make in private far away from the public, then you're also going against his request. just be normal, he asked us to be normal, don't set him up, and that's that )

#pyon askies #pyon long post

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ramenrescue · 1 month

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do you any headcanons/aus/thoughts on usao/ousa ? loved your analysis of ogata/asirpa

Oh boy, I might have too many thoughts about Usami and Ogata so this may have to come in parts, especially the AUs. I have started writing a modern day reincarnation fic for them because I am just very feral about these two at the moment, so if I ever finish that and feel compelled to put it out to the world I'll let you know. The thing about writing fic or manga is like -- I can write little snippets but to piece them together into one coherent story is very difficult.

Anyway, your ask came at such a prompt time because I managed to buy the Japanese volumes on Bookwalker for almost 50% off and I specifically reread the main parts with Usami, so they are quite fresh in my mind. I think I agree with other analyses I have read about Usami in that he is a direct foil to Ogata. And this can be seen in their superficial traits: Ogata has many square-shaped, angular, sharp motifs on his face, like his square-shaped eyes, square shaped iris, squared eyebrows, square jawline, square hairline, while Usami has rounded tips on his eyelashes, round moles on his cheeks, rounded lips (cupid's bow), concentric circles for his pupil/iris, and rounded brows. Usami excels at close-range combat, while Ogata excels at long-range combat. Usami grew up amongst a large family with many siblings, while Ogata grew up practically an only child.

But here's the weird part -- I actually don't think they are complete opposites -- I think they have some things in common. <- more on this later.

It is interesting how in Usami's backstory (Chapter 227), Tsurumi (in conversation with the dojo owner) refers to Usami as a "dog among sheep" and a "born soldier who is highly loyal, combative, and is able to kill without remorse or regret". Then, it cuts to Usami in present day saying he predicts the serial killer in Sapporo will return to the scene of the crime and masturbate while reminiscing of their crimes because he understands that sentiment on a personal level. Usami here appears to show understanding that he possesses an innate capacity for violence.

Ogata was always wondering about the whole nature vs nurture question -- like whether lacking remorse for the act of killing is something one is born with or a product of one's environment (ex. bad childhood, war). Usami is a shining example that humans can in fact kill without remorse, and everyone except Ogata knows Usami is an exception to the rule. Usami is well aware this is what makes him special and this is one of the reasons why Tsurumi values him so much as a subordinate.

The problem with Ogata is that because he appears to have very little personal connections outside of Usami during the war (which is... kind of cute in a pitiable way?), he misconstrues that people like Usami are the majority. Usami agrees with all of Ogata's skewed interpretations and analyses that "all (majority of) people do not feel remorse in the act of killing" and in doing that, he is straight up lying. Usami knows people like himself are in the minority -- and because his analysis of Ogata's character was so spot on -- I'll go as far to say Usami knows Ogata is "normal" -- because if Ogata were truly a "born soldier" like Usami, he would not be ruminating about the philosophy of guilt and killing and questioning himself and bouncing his ideas off of another person -- he would just simply, be. Usami receives further confirmation that Ogata is simply, "just a guy", when he overhears Ogata calling Yusaku's name in his sleep. Usami also calls Ogata a snot-nosed brat quite a number of times, and I think that is alluding to Usami knowing that Ogata is just a sheep wearing wolf's skin.

It's interesting that Ogata entrusted the inner workings of his mind to Usami. I thought about this and I came to the conclusion that maybe he saw his own mother in Usami -- which I know, it's kind of insane, but I'm going somewhere with this! In Chapter 304, when Ogata is reminiscing about his mother, it appears she has a prominent cupid's bow -- a physical characteristic possessed by Usami. His mother likely called Ogata by his first name, and Usami is shown to be THE only person in present day who calls Ogata by his first name. Ogata's mom was head over heels over a man in a position of power with a wife who never returned the same level of love, while Usami is head over heels over a "promiscuous" man in a position of power who will likely never return the same level of affection that he's outputting. Another interesting side note: Usami chides Ogata for being the illegitimate son of an escort* and back in the Edo period, women in the business would chop off their pinkie as a sign of loyalty to their patron. Although Ogata likely did not have a good vantage point (nor did he care) to observe Usami's final moments, I think it's still worth mentioning that Usami getting his pinkie chomped off by Tsurumi resembles an escort chopping off her finger as a sign of ultimate devotion to her customer, lol. Anyway, I think because Ogata drew parallels between Yusaku and Asirpa, it is not so far fetched that he saw his mother in Usami -- and ultimately his projection made him trust Usami more than one ever should. There is one more important evidence that Ogata saw his mother in Usami -- in that he killed both of them with similar intent. He killed his mom not out of hatred, but because he wanted to put her out of her misery -- and he thought that if his father came to her funeral, she would be happy. Before he shoots Usami, he says something like "if you're so worried about being Tsurumi's cheapest pawn, why don't you see what his face looks like at your funeral," and in a way, he is putting Usami out of his miserable state of feeling inadequate. Ogata killed his mother with conviction that the positive outcome would happen, while he kills Usami with more of a neutral outlook -- and interestingly, Ogata, by killing Usami, gave Usami the thing he wanted most in life -- a reaffirmation from Tsurumi that he was his one and only (which, whether Tsurumi was telling the truth or not is dubious from a reader's POV, but alas, we are happy for Usami).

So here we return to my earlier point -- that they are crafted to be very different from each other, but they do possess similarities. One obvious one is that they both yearn for affection from Tsurumi -- which highlights another difference in that, yes they both yearn for love, but the love they seek are different. Usami yearns for love from one person and one person only, while Ogata is more agnostic and yearns for love from pretty much anyone who is willing to give him attention. But here's the thing -- I think Ogata's yearning for affection is a product of his environment -- and I think Usami's yearning to be someone's one and only, is also a product of his environment! I think that because he grew up in a large family, the love from his parents was dispersed amongst all of their children***, fostering an environment ripe for someone like Tsurumi to sweep him off his feet and pour "love" into this near-empty vessel. Usami felt intoxicated by the notion of being someone's one and only, that his jealousy-filled-rage led him to murder. I'd argue that without the addition of Tsurumi, there would be no Usami. Tsurumi compared Usami not to a wolf or a bear -- but a domesticated dog -- which is not, by itself, likely to commit acts of violence**. A soldier becomes a soldier only when commanded -- STEERED in the right direction, much like a dog will become violent when raised to do so. Therefore, a version of Usami who never met a sweet-talker like Tsurumi in his formative years, would likely not grow up to be an ultra-loyal killing-machine. To sum, I believe Usami's capacity for violence is an innate quality that can only be harnessed by the right environment.

Thank you for the question! One thing I still haven't quite wrapped my mind around is how after Ogata shoots Usami, he says "thank you, Usami, your death has completed me as a sniper." Okay??? What does he mean by that! I don't know! So if you or anyone reading this has any thoughts I'd love to know!

*=note that 商売女can include prostitutes and geisha, and the lines between geisha and prostitution was a lot blurrier back then so I'm just calling them an "escort" although Ogata's mom is officially known to be a former geisha

**=note that this is a sweeping generalization and I am aware different dog breeds do display varying levels of unpredictable, aggressive behavior

***=I just want to point out that Usami's parents are portrayed as being in love with each other, so they may have had that many kids as a result of lack of contraception. There's a scene in Vagabond with a couple who are having sex despite their many children crying out of hunger, and it kind of reminds me of that...

#asks #usami tokishige #ogata hyakunosuke #im just rambling dont mind meeee i'm just a passerby

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oz00ms2 · 6 months

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I’m like five hours late with Starbucks to this but I neeeed to ask you about your Marine Buggy au if you’re up for it. How much do you think Buggy is a formidable threat in this au and how much is him somehow stumbling into success like in canon? Not that canon Buggy can’t be a threat under the right circumstances , but one can’t deny how much is just pure unadulterated dumb luck and it’s just extremly funny to me imagining another version of him bumbling his way to the top in the same manner, but also this version of Buggy seems more competent in comparison, so I am interested in hearing how you interpret him yourself.

Also as a Shuggy appreciator I am still gonna throw out the scenario of someone promoting Firebug up a rank and adding „You really did it Sir. If those dastardly pirates set sail just an hour earlier we wouldn’t have had the menpower and that tactical advantage that helped us win that last fight . It’s a shame that red headed bastard got away, but nevertheless this is a huge success for all of us. Truly remarkable Sir! How’d you do it? How did you keep them from setting sail for so LONG? Did you mingle amongst the crew to stage a mutiny? Did you damage their boat? Sir, I would love to know Sir!“ Buggys mind flashes back to him and Shanks absolutely violently making out against the wall in Shanks cabin. „… Some tactics are better kept a secret.“ „Of course Sir! Yes Sir!“

did you bring me a coffee too? :<

ty for asking about this silly lil au.

for marine!buggy I still have to believe he falls UP as is his MO. this little dude has supernatural luck and a bizarre power over men with his strange charisma so having that transfer to this au with minor tweaks.

I like to imagine he was under tsuru's tutelage once he officially joined the navy - as it's difficult for me to see him viewing any man as worth his obedience after rogers and his broken heart. plus she has a strong immunity to flashy types and I believe she'd be capable of curbing his worst traits. buggy would need someone to speak to him like an adult, blunt and lacking the whimsical dreams of his adoptive pirates who I see as having allowed buggy too lofty of a perception on the world with his issues.

would he be a dangerous marine? probably not on his own - but being believed in and supported by structure and more talented minds - I think he'd be a crafty ballistics expert and a typically underestimated foe. very useful against run of the mill pirates and keeping shorelines safe. but against more daunting enemies he'd depend on numbers and the backup of more powerful allies (while absolutely taking the praise for "organizing the group attack". )

like, please imagine smoker being his subordinate - that is hilarious to me.

I think he'd be a successful marine with very little interest in the darker machinations of the marines because he's only here to feed his loss and be praised for doing a good job. however he would be easily manipulated by darker hearted higher ups and probably not the most reliable.

unfortunately he's still buggy at heart, still a dreamer, and if he happens to mess up when his envy of free-spirited pirates gets in the way of his job, well he gets demoted/promoted endlessly like he's riding a ferris wheel with a broken brake.

…

as for the scenario you so beautifully presented: yes absolutely 100% 10/10 no notes.

the amount of times buggy has been interrupted mid-tumble with shanks and it has been misconstrued as him "fighting epically against the horrid red hair captain" is in the hundreds at this point.

the Marines who know the truth wish they didn't and he gets his ear dragged around by tsuru as she screams at him: that's not what she meant when she said to take red hair down!!!

#shuggy #buggy the clown #captain fire bug #buggy au #red haired shanks #oz answers #shanks x buggy #marine!buggy au

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beyonsatan · 6 months

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Hi!! I’ve been taking a break from social media! I’m back to share more astrology wiz with everyone.

But before I even get into anything, I’m gonna add some books and resources that have shaped my philosophy as an astrologer (and hopefully I can pin this to the top of my page because I’ve been getting so many messages in my absence about where I’ve learned my doctrine)

1. Hellenistic astrology: The study of fate and fortune” by chris Brennan. This book will take you on a historical dive within astrology. You will learn some very useful and yet obscure ancient astrology techniques that kinda temporarily got shoved into oblivion by pop astrology.

2. On the heavenly spheres by Helena Avalar. Reading this book is what really convinced me to throw modern astrology out the window and helped me to see how “not helpful” it was. You will see how much pop astrology kind of alleviates the truth. Only get this book if you’re interested in why I have such a distain for some very questionable mainstream modern astrology information.

3. Astrology and the authentic self by Demetria George. I wanna say that this book was the very first one I read and it doesn’t prioritize the meanings of the signs. When you first get into traditional astrology you’re gonna think it’s so boring because you quickly realize that the signs get their meanings from the planets and not just from themselves. You’ll read things like “Aquarius: enemy of the sun, preferred domicile of saturn” etc. Something to take into consideration is also the amount of daylight and nighttime and that goes on during that signs time of the year, Hellenistic astrologers as I know now take meanings from that as well.

4. Ancient astrology in Theory and Practice: a manual l of traditional techniques. This book is volume one and 2.

5. The house, temples of the sky by Deborah houlding. I wanna say that this woman is my TEACHER and I LOVE this book because this book will introduce you to an ancient perspective of the houses, the very first interpretation of the houses. This book does NOT associate any of the signs with the houses as none of the ancient astrologers did and especially not the valens.

6. The astrology podcast. Go to to YouTube and search up “the astrology podcast planets” and just start writing things down. You can also type in “3 misconceptions of (insert any sign)” and Adam elenbaas will pop up, he is a certified Hellenistic astrology so prepare to learn things about your sign you never knew.

6. The most expensive resource would be to go to astrology school which is 1300$ dollars at nightlightastrology.com and is a whole course. After you get the certificate you can call yourself a “certified Hellenistic astrologer.” if this is your passion and something you wanna be doing in the long term I highly recommend.

I wanna close this post out by saying that Hellenistic astrology is the oldest form of horoscopic astrology, it is the source, the OG and it is where everything we know about astrology today came from. Anything that was taken and misconstrued LITERALLY came from Hellenistic astrology.

Hope this helps xx

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tvckerwash · 6 months

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okay so idk how popular "other freelancers get epsilon and take wash's place" au's are these days but one problem I've always had with them is that I feel like people don't understand that wash is so perfect for taking down the meta and pfl that I honestly don't think anyone but him could succeed in the way he did. (utc again because it's kind of long)

the other freelancers (imo) lack the same 'wait and see' calculated nature and skilled subtlety to play the director and the counselor's waiting game like wash did, because while they always knew wash was going to betray them, they didn't know when he would betray them, or what he even knew in the first place. wash's long memory and his ability to hold a grudge is his greatest strength, he will remember what you've done long after you've yourself forgotten, and that's when he'll strike.

wash going around collecting the blues (and the reds) in s6 was more than him just trying to find people with experience with project freelancer to help him take down the meta—I mean at first that's all it was, but by the time he comes across church with caboose he definitely started to piece together the whole alpha puzzle, and at that point is when he switched gears and he was now looking at the blues (and reds) as people he could trust with his insurance policy when shit finally went down.

wash gave epsilon to the reds and blues for the same reason that ct gave tex a copy of her data in pfl, that being of course because he knew that there was a good chance he wasn't going to make it out alive, but he still wanted the director to pay for what he did even if he wasn't the one to put him behind bars. wash decided that the simulation troopers were the safest place to hide epsilon until they could get the chance to turn him in to the unsc—if it was good enough for the director to hide alpha, then it was good enough for wash to hide epsilon.

but back to the meta, wash was the ideal freelancer to take him down because wash had an advantage with the meta that no other freelancer did. wash was the only freelancer who understood maine even after he lost his voice, and it's heavily implied that they were fairly close going by the like 1.5 interactions they had in pfl and all of s8. wash's advantage of being able to read maine—and subsequently the meta—in ways no other freelancer ever could, meant that he could predict the actions the meta would take and plan accordingly.

wash also wasn't dumb enough to think he could take the meta head on with no tricks and live, and I personally think that's exactly what happened with north and south—they were so confident in their skills and abilities that they thought they could beat the meta, but they were wrong and they both paid the price. north with his life, and south who was stuck with the guilt of knowing that she inadvertently got her brother killed (and whether she did so intentionally or not is debatable and up to interpretation, I personally don't think it was intentional and I think wash believed the same thing, but he decided to use it as one of the many excuses given by delta to shoot her anyway because the guy is PettyTM and he didn't want to have to worry about her shooting him in the back again and ruining his plans).

another advantage wash has is his ability to (mostly) remove his feelings from the situation at hand ("I said that I didn't like it, not that I wouldn't do it."). wash and maine formerly being close friends did not change what he needed to do, wash and south being former teammates did not change what he needed to do, alpha having a life as away from project freelancer as he could did not change what he had to do, caboose just wanting his friend back did not change what he had to do, carolina being his former leader did not change what he had to do, etc etc.

slightly off topic but the above is probably where locus got his idea of wash being some perfect soldier who always follows orders from. he misconstrued wash's ability to push his emotions and morals aside in order to get a job done (something that is admittedly seen as an ideal trait in a soldier or anyone who is in a position in which you shouldn't question authority), as a point of similarity between them without recognizing that the reasons why wash did that are totally different from locus' own. wash's definition of what it means to be a soldier is of someone who is fighting for the sake of something bigger than themselves, someone who is fighting to protect and preserve humanity and ensure the survival of their species. locus was using his identity as a soldier to justify the atrocities he not only committed himself, but to justify the atrocities of others as nothing more than "just following orders". that is why wash is a true soldier, and locus is just someone who had been indoctrinated.

that aside, if we compare wash and carolina for example, I don't see her being able to take down the meta, and it has nothing to do with skill or even any of the above reasons, carolina is characterized as having waaaay more emotional baggage when it comes to pfl than wash does, and considering how she reacted to epsilon bringing up the meta in s13 ("don't you dare talk about maine like you knew him.") even if she was at the peak of her revenge quest I think she's too emotionally attached to the other freelancers to do what wash did.

south, north, and york all feel a bit too....self centered? to care about bringing pfl to justice, like yeah north and york had that "we're the good guys, right?" conversation and they both helped tex during the break in but it's pretty obvious york's main priority was to try and convince carolina to come with him, and north really only cared about south and theta. south based on what little we know of her really doesn't come across as a justice seeking type, wyoming and florida were still working with the director and pfl, maine is very difficult to say anything for certain because we know very little about him prior to becoming the meta, and while I think there's a chance for beta tex I think she really only cared about alpha (I didn't watch s1-5 on my rewatch though so maybe I just don't remember shit lol. I'll have to watch those seasons and come back), e!tex wanted to find the director, but I think her want to do so is because epsilon himself wanted answers only the director could provide.

#rvb #red vs blue #agent washington #mine #hmmmm i don't have anything to add in the tags this time lol #i would like to revisit the whole “carolina has lots of baggage related to pfl but wash really doesn't” at some point but ehhh not today #wash #the meta #the freelancers

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total-drama-brainrot · 2 months

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Alenoaheather grabbed me by the throat and body slammed me through 15 consecutive buildings a week ago and it is entirely your fault/lh

But I was thinking about the incredible Fake Dating AU y’all were putting together and had a question, then realized I could just ask the question because it’s ✨Tumblr✨. But what do you think would’ve happened if Izzy wasn’t there when Noah passed out at the gym with Eva? Like, imagine Alejandro and Heather bust into the gym, but because of Eva’s awkward ass self(I love her sm) it genuinely just seems like she knocked out Noah. How would you expect the scenario to play out after that, because I do imagine that Aleheather wouldn’t be happy about seeing Noah laid out like a starfish-

My apologies 😔 (I'm not sorry 😈). /lh

The idea of Eva holding up a passed out Noah by the collar of his undershirt, all but looming over him in her desperation to get him to wake the fuck up, only to have both Heather and Alejandro burst into the room and misconstrue the situation entirely is so fucking funny to me. Thank you for the mental image, anon.

Because Eva has aggression practically woven into the threads of her character; she speaks aggressively, se thinks aggressively, and we all know she acts aggressively. Even when she's trying to be gentle she's always going to be rough around the edges, so it'd genuinely look like she's about to pummel an unconscious Noah into nerd-paste. Without Izzy there as a mitigating force, Eva wouldn't have the eloquence to properly explain the situation before AleHeather jump to conclusions and act accordingly.

Which would mostly be Heather trying to beat the shit out of Eva, physical discrepancies be damned, as Alejandro scoops up their partner bridal style and fusses over the 'damsel' in the situation.

Because, out of the two of them, Heather's always been the more physically aggressive one. She's not afraid to start throwing hands- of course, Heather's more likely to attack others with her words, but she's never shied away from a more hands-on approach to conflict. Whereas Alejandro, for all of his displays of physical prowess, doesn't ever really use his strength in a hostile way (his boxing math with José non-withstanding), and he's far too much of a gentleman to ever hit a woman.

So Eva would be staving off an irate Heather, who's trying to claw her eyes out or something, using her superior muscle mass to (as gently as she can) subdue Heather so she could explain herself. But 'fighting back' only makes Eva look worse to the pair, and any explanations she'd try to offer would be all but drowned out by Heather's enraged screaming, falling on deaf ears. Eva really doesn't want to hurt Heather, so she'd hold back the majority of her overwhelming strength, but Heather would interpret that as Eva looking down on her which would only serve to fuel her anger.

Meanwhile, Alejandro and his saviour complex would be trying to resuscitate Noah from his overexertion coma (previously established; Noah goes sicko mode on a punching bag and his noodly ferret body couldn't handle the strain of physical effort), though half of his attention would be diverted towards Heather going beast mode on Eva- either because he'd be genuinely concerned/alarmed by her ferocity, or because Alejandro seems like the type of guy who'd find Heather going feral kind of hot (whichever's funnier).

Eventually Heather would either tire herself out and Eva could attempt to blunder her way through an explanation- under the dual judgemental/seething glares of AleHeather- to mixed results, OR Noah would wake up, have a 'what the fuck is going on here' moment, and quickly clear up the confusion in his patented know-it-all way. That is to say, insulting everyone involved for their incompetency whilst ignoring his own pivotal role in the disagreement, and then explaining that he and Eva are cool now. (He'd probably be a dick about it to; "We're besties, me and Eva are having a sleepover tonight and we're going to talk about Boys and Shoes and Makeup and you're not invited." Noah can't stop being a sarcastic jester-coded prick for more than one scene or else he'll implode.)

Of course, this is all just speculation. I expect @perpetualexistence has plenty of their own thoughts to add to this hypothetical, as the adoptive 'co-parent' of this AU!

This is mostly just me pushing my "AleNoah ask for no pickles, Heather's the one who confronts the cashier when they get pickles" Alenoaheather dynamic. Heather the girlboss and her two cringefail, pathetic-pilled boyfriends. She's the only one of the three who can be direct with her misgivings (Noah is blunt, sure, but he skirts around confrontation- see his reaction to Alejandro's comment in "I See London..."). Also a not-so-subtle nod towards Alejandro always prioritising being the 'hero who rescues the damsel' over the 'hero who confronts the villain', which is literally just canon. The guy's not confrontational despite being manipulative- the puppet master works behind the curtains, after all. (The only time I can think of him ever directly confronting someone is, again, his comment to "Noah in I See London...", which is less of an accusation and more of a pointed comment.)

#the girls are fightinggggg ✨#if eva and heather actually had a proper fight eva would fold her ass like laundry. no contest.#not that heather isn't also a forced to be reckoned with. but it's EVA.#they'd eventually sort out the beef between them but i think eva would ask for one free shot against heather as compensation for the attack #(everyone expects eva to full-on deck her but she never does. heather lives in constant fear of eva's free shot.)#(eva's never gonna use it. she just likes watching heather sweat.)#fake dating au #alenoaheather #total drama #td eva #td heather #td alejandri #td noah #character analysis #silly ideas #replies

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qvrcll · 1 year

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hello! firstly, ur writing is heavenly. no joke. i devoured ur entire discography within seconds of finding ur page. twice. i was wondering if u could write some longer elaborations on lo’ak with particular emphasis on his love for physical touch/affection? i would love to read smth that encapsulates the essence of the relationship between him + reader. esp like the dynamic of the relationship. wether or not u think his insecurities implore him to constantly seek touch. if u think he’d pine for it or go to extremities to receive it. possibly even before an established relationship. his jealousy, possessiveness, his thirst for affirmation. any form is fine! wether u’d like to give it a story line (one shot typa thing) or just a long elaboration on the topic in itself. tbh im rlly hungry to hear ur interpretation of it. i adore ur representation(s) and how u flesh out the characters. esp lo’ak. ur mind is so pretty. n ♡

LO’AK + AFFECTION ♡ㅤ°.

synopsis: lo’ak had always chased and chased and chased. so when you finally gave, he found it difficult to catalogue the multitude of touches and stares all at once… well, not completely.

auth notes -> UM HELLO oh my god this ask is just so so so amazing + thank you so much for your interest in my works / thoughts! most of the time they’re nonsensical babble or unorganised lines of hoo haa but i’m glad people enjoy my writing :,) i hope i’ve done your req justice! + let me know if you want more, i absolutely love writing for lo’ak <3

warnings -> slight angst , gn ! na’vi + metkayina reader

characters -> loak sully

gif creds. -> ♡

lo’ak is an overachiever with just the largest slightest urge for approval and affirmation.

he’s so motivation driven to excel his golden-gift of a brother, he’s often caught in imperilment. half of the time, he doesn’t even catch his siblings at his tail, trailing after him precipitately — when did this become a group thing? he’ll think. but eventually, he’ll admonish the thought and rule it as a way to spend quality time with his siblings, away from the poundage of home.

but the sun will discolour and pulse between a mix of a ripe valencia and a pool of mauve coiling just behind the spread of colours in the sky. by the time he’s home, it’s incredibly late — jake is the first to reprimand him. harsh words. hard words. words that make him teeth his lip and fiddle with his fingers till his ears pin against the weight of his braids. in bed, he’ll ponder and turn over the words and make sense of them — i’m just a disappointment. a failure. that must be it, or else i don’t understand why i.. i’m so incapable.

this poor boy definitely misconstrues jake’s words and takes them for justification of his existence as mere fodder — often times, he’ll exclude himself from his family in attempts to find more of what’s different. that means ultimately seeking out friends, connections, approval. love. he’s a confused kid in a big world, far too thin to offer him the space and time for an explanation. the reason for his affliction.

so when his family first seek refuge from the metkayina clan, bodies swollen with days of unforgiving rain and sleepless nights of mummers, he’s a little less aware of who, what, where, when and exactly how.

so when you, the chief tonowari’s child materialises out of thin air in his eye, mouth dilated with a purposeful smile, he registers your position — right, they’re here to guide us. me.

he’ll take it a blow to the gut when his father wrenches him to one side, stabbing the futile words into him, the don’t make me look like a fool boy. be on your best behaviour.

it sullies his mood and strings him somewhere far from the marui pod, feet slack with hurt. wanting nothing more than a rest.

it’s then that there’s more of you with him — “lo’ak sully?” a thin voice branches from the foliage and thickens with purpose when his feet strike against the ground uncomfortably. he’s greeted with you — the chief’s child, golden and emitting from the leaves like a imprimatur from ewya herself: “oh… sorry, i didn’t… i didn’t know-“ he fumbles the the words in his hand, like those countless nights. the heatless nights that ring in his hand, unwarranted remindings of his ineffectuality.

and you’ll sense it, this overpowering tension rooting from every inch of his skin — “i’m not here to nag you, don’t worry. i’m here past curfew hours as well… come…” you signal to your feet.

at first, he’s confused. and then, he’s swollen with happiness that flows straight to his head: for once, he’s not shot down and schlepped home in shame. he’s noted and affirmed — it makes his heart squelch comfortably in his chest.

after that, it’s simple — he looks for you in places he shouldn’t. his family’s marui pod; he’ll unwittingly find recognition in your voice from outside the thin walls. he’s less capable in affirming himself to stake right near your toes — they’ve known me for, what, a couple of weeks. it was probably pity.

yes, that’s right. excuses are his best friend. his companion. an intimate, an option to choose through the blur of confusion.

so that’s why its exalting to him when you first praise him: it had been something with little worth. probably carrying a heavy load off your hands or supporting you when the two of you are habitually tired from training all day: “thank you, lo’ak. you’re incredibly sweet.”

booooooyyyyyy. his ears will nip and crease at his braids furiously, tail whipping around to bind loosely along your waist. you find the gesture incredibly cute — “you think so?” he teethes, eager and raw and fully lo’ak. and who are you, to deny any attempts of it? “i know so.”

other times, it’s less verbal and more strained on eye-contact / body language. to me, he values words. but actions serve a separate design.

actions spring from every nerve, every inch of skin. any bearable bone in a body. so its like a seal on your relationship when you strive to do things with sole senses: squinted, smiling eyes when he successfully holds his breath for more than five minutes. soothing, tender fingers etching circles on his back when he chokes on sea-water. on one occasion, upon his eminence at being able to breathe in water, you had kissed him on the cheek, soft, smooth, lips battered on his skin for less than a second. he’d captured the memory vividly in his brain, somewhere, still idiotically rubbing the area on his face for some revival of the same feeling.

but lo’ak also strikes me as someone who tries awfully hard to gain sympathy, love, attention… pretty much any gateway of endearment. that would include the amplitude of (but not limited to) simple pleasures: words of affirmation, yes. a MUST. he would adore the sound of sweet promulgations from his favourite person, you, when doing the most mundane of activities, i.e. successfully amassing the bond between himself and an awfully obdurate ilu. he’ll be so discoloured with pride and glee that he’ll forget he’s still straining to train and that causes his ilu to flip someways and send him hurdling downwards. still, it’s worth the press, he thinks.

but deep down, he’s blood and flesh and bones. he’s the carnality his parents created from love — he’ll often find himself letting loose in order to garner more scratches and bruises than normal. it hurts, more so, but he’ll carry enough wounds to you for him to feign indifference. he’ll dispel the thought of harassment and put it to blame on the shrubbery and roots of a tree — still, it pays off.

his smile is aching to stay secret when you wrench a woven basket racked with ointments, herbs and other remedies.

he’ll purposely wince and grovel to soften your fingers on his skin

he’s airy and thoughtless when he gazes at you methodically work his misgivings. tongue poked out and hair slightly disheveled from the day: you’ll glance at him and flush—“you’re so close, lo’ak.”

he’s instantly inching away, muttering apologies — he’s seen that he’s over-stepped. and he’s small, again. that boy, in front of his father, eyes and ears downcast at yet another reprimand. but your fingers are… interlocking with his?

“you idiot. i never said… it bothered me,” you push the words out.

it takes a minute to register, like that day he had arrived with sand in his toes and water on his back, gazing at you through the thick of shoulders and faces: “it doesn’t?”

“no, it doesn’t. should it?”

“you tell me.”

“oh, shush lo’ak.”

he’s also jealous — more than his siblings. he’ll grit his teeth more and frown more and tense more when he sees you next to other people. he’s irritated less with you and more with himself with this inconsolable feeling of abandonment. he almost feels sickly with the dwindling hours between each other, hearing your castaway laugh ringing behind him—he escapes to the forest. and you, on cue, find him. he’ll resist first, refusing to make contact. but then, he’ll notice your infelicity, your downturned ears. your low, immobile tail between your legs. and he’ll nearly burst into tears — “i… i was jealous.” together, you work through the exact moment of dissatisfaction, his feelings, this raw and red feeling that was jealousy brooding in his chest.

on cue, to soothe his aches, you’ll rest his head on your lap and curl a finger around a braid. he’s accustomed to your speed now, he’ll briefly stiffen but then melt on your skin, curling into you. he just wants to feel love through himself, not some silly demand or order. so this action hits him best — you loving him through the grime.

once in an established relationship, there’s sooooo much open room for physical touches. it’s more intimate, so you’re shy when hugging him and throwing an arm around him — he finds it cute how you resist and purposely holds you more. definitelyyy a teaser. come on, a son of jake sully? you got me twisted.

he’ll tilt your chin to face him, kiss your neck in close proximity and almost ALWAYS sit with your fingers or his on you.

he loves your voice / eyes. also loves them best, the way they curl and twinkle when you’re drilling compliments into his skull for anything short of mundane or exalting — “my yawne, you did so well”, “my sweet boy, look how well you did”, “i can’t think of anyone better.”

he’s insecure, so some days are harder than most. when he fails on a particular task or fails the skills to attempt one, he’s curling into himself. it’s not visible — it’s internal. it’s in his head, the numerous cogs working to remind himself of his hollowness, his futility. he’s non-verbal by the time you find him, tail crimped between his legs. his eyes are shining and wet, full with unshed tears. when you make your way close, he’s already surrendered himself — “why can’t i do anything right?” “i’m pathetic,” “my dad was right.”

you want nothing more than to eat that terrible feeling lurking within him, diminishing it for his happiness. but this was lo’ak. the bright smiles, eager and welcoming. this was lo’ak, the anger and frustration. this, too, was lo’ak, the grime and jealousy, the stubbornness. this and this and this. you learn to hold him upright—you’ll have lo’ak whole than halved into parts. it’s him you need, you tell him, not a warrior. him.

and he’ll cry, because it’s, too, his first. his first at learning love and compassion. of acceptance and honesty. he’ll see the reflection of him, whole and fully lo’ak, in your eyes and the delightful push of your lips against him melts with his tears.

that, too, he’ll store in his memory.

#lo’ak x reader #lo’ak imagine #lo’ak x y/n #lo’ak fluff #avatar fanfiction #𓊆 avatar °. ✿ * · 𓊇 #avatar: twow fanfic #bam : writes ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.#reqs 𖥨 anon !

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marshmallowprotection · 23 days

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Been having a really shit time lately

Is it possible to request some post-GE Suit Saeran headcanons? (I like to explore suit and ray being separate alters from saeray sometimes because I miss them as individuals so much and want to see them grow as such)

Thank you!

Absolutely! I don't typically write them that way but I enjoy seeing the different takes on them! Just so you guys know, and I feel the need to point this out, the game never does officially confirms Saeran's mental health in terms of what he may have. We don't know if he has DID, OSDD, Bipolar, etc. So, there's no wrong way to interpret him as long as you're working to make sure whatever you're writing is done so respectfully.

Make sure to listen to people with the conditions you're writing with if you do not experience them personally, because representation is important and you do not want to demonize personality disorders or dissociative disorders. Media does that enough to people and that's harmful as it is.

We can all learn a thing or two by listening to others. I wouldn't want anyone to get things misconstrued because of the way I personally headcanon and write the characters.

When I'm writing Saeran, I write with DID in mind. I also write GE Saeran as a fusion of Ray and Suit Saeran after the events of Day 10. A lot of people get sad that I write it that way, because they feel as though those two disappear and no longer exist, within reality, they come together to create GE Saeran, or Saeray, as I lovingly call him.

Suit Saeran and Ray exist within him, because they are him, if that makes sense. Their experiences, memories, feelings, actions, all of that live on in GE Saeran. He knows them well because they were him.

Now, let me clear this up as well, the "fusion" of alters does not mean "cured". It doesn't magically make you "cured" all of a sudden. I better not see anybody spreading that kind of misinformation because that is not the case. DID will always be a part of someone with DID, it does not matter if alters have fused or not. Integration and fusion may be a goal for some systems, but it isn't for others.

It's a case by case basis.

Systems together decide what works for them, and nobody better tell them how to decide what's best for them.

Alright, now that we've cleared that up!

GE Suit Saeran is... struggling, for the lack of a better word. He told you his intention that night.

That night when he apologized for everything he ever did to you and how he wants to take accountability for it even if it takes him forever. He told himself that he would leave as best he could because it's not as if he has control over when he is fronting or not.

He wanted to minimize his contact with you as much as possible, to show you that he wants to work on himself as a person, and to heal the wounds that have been inflicted on him so that he can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Even if you accept his apology, he doesn't accept it for himself. He can't forgive himself.

That's one of the reasons why the after ending has a huge emphasis on GE Saeran working to forgive the people who hurt him. He just... perpetuated everything that was done to him by those people on to you. He learns how to forgive them so that he can forgive himself. It helps him find peace, too. To let go of the anger and move forward in life. He'll forgive but he'll never forget or look back.

In an instance where Suit Saeran and Ray exist as themselves, he would be minimizing himself as much as possible in the beginning if he could help it. After all, he told you that he knew Ray could take better care of you than he could. Ray has his own demons to work on, as well, because you also need to talk to him about accountability and how he feels about moving forward to accept what he did.

But, the difference between him and Ray is that Ray doesn't want to hurt people… and Saeran never had a qualm with hurting someone if it protected Ray or you, later on. Ray’s heart is truly gentle, and even if he’s done wrong as well, he won't hurt you... not like Saeran is very acutely afraid of doing. He knows he doesn't want to hurt you, but he also knows that he's not in a good headspace. He won't hurt you with the intention of doing so.

But, accidentally?

He could hurt you that way.

And as he is right now, he can't stomach the thought of hurting you more than he already did. Forgiven or not by you, once again, he can't forgive himself until he confronts his demons... and his way of doing that wouldn't look as close to GE Saeran's way. It'd be messier, mixed with his exhaustion, anger, and fear. He'll get there, I know he will, but it's a long road.

What would his interactions look like with you? Well, he would make a point to step away from you in the beginning and you would know why he's doing that. Every time he's around, he makes a point of giving you space, of letting you decide what you're comfortable with and what you aren't. Sometimes, you don't mind him sticking around, in fact, many of you may say that you don't mind him around at all, but it doesn't change the fact that he wants your express consent at all times to know it's okay to be there.

He is aware of everything he's done, and he's not going to corner you. He's afraid of doing that, actually.

That makes most of his interactions with you not as direct as they might have been in the past. There's a weariness about him that doesn't go away. Even when you try to talk to him, he tries to pull away, because, in his heart, he's going to feel like you're better off without him for quite a while. You have a gentle heart and so many people can abuse that.

He doesn't want to be someone like that, he doesn't want to become someone like the people who hurt him, and he can't imagine the thought of you making yourself vulnerable to him again on the off chance he has a bad day. His awareness of what he's done and what he needs to hold himself accountable for can sometimes go over the edge.

He may end up beating himself up more than anyone else would, and I imagine that sounds familiar, but what can you do? This is a difficult road... and even if he'd hate the idea of being like Jihyun Kim, there is just no denying this aspect they share. The only difference is Saeran wanting to do better and not wallow in self-misery... but it'll take him a while to figure out how to make the best choices for himself. At the very least, he wants to try.

Outside of the guilt in pain he's carrying, what good can you expect once he's found a place of peace? What can you expect after he's confronted his demons and he feels comfortable in his relationship with you? A partner who values spending time together, that’s for sure.

Saeran is happy you love him, and he doesn’t take it for granted. As hard as it is to talk about it, his favorite thing to do with you is to make meals. Far more than Ray, he likes making sure you’ve eaten well, and it’s not just to make up for what he did. He likes seeing you enjoy a meal. He likes being able to being teased by you, to feel your hand on his face as you nudge a spoon against his lips. He likes that you can do this together and it doesn't sting... it stings less and less the more you work together to make better memories.

(It was awful, horrible, and wrong. But, he later told you that not only was it meant to hurt you, it was meant to protect you, too. He knew they drugged the food with elixir and his not letting them feed you in that moment was because of his hurt and fear. It made no sense to him at the time but later on, it clicked.)

Parallel play. You don't have to be doing the same thing to enjoy time with him, and he just likes being in the same space as you. Sometimes, his health should have the two of you doing something separately so he doesn't feel as though there are odds stacked against him. He's still learning how to exist as himself, and as much as he wants to learn more about his existence by your side, he needs time to make sense of what he likes and what he doesn't like.

He wants the space to make mistakes and to learn from them by himself, but he knows if he needs help, you'll be there to help.

I will say if you want something light-hearted, the goofiest thing about him is that despite how it may seem on the surface, he's quite gullible, and you can trick him into doing quite a few things.

Of course, you should only use this for good, like getting him to try something new for dinner. In the end, he likes it when you do that, because something is empowering about knowing that you can push his buttons and stand your ground even in Normal situations. It's not that he wants you to push him around, it's just that he wants to know you can stand as his equal.

#character analysis #ge suit saeran

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