#I need a therapy session

[letmedownslows]

ok but the fact that i would actually MARRY volks if he were real - and showed some sort of interest in me, obviously - is starting to worry me.

#blush blush #volks blush blush #i'm such a dumbass #his voice is so good #I need a therapy session #also cashew he's such a sweetheart

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

#i marie kondoed my thoughts and *i* feel great. but now my stream-of-consciousness has escaped containment #so many innocent bystanders at stake #every time i try to organize my thoughts i run out of plastic bins and have to make a trip to the container store where i get even more dis #racted so. you can't just hand me THIS brain and NO catalogue OR library classification system #and expect me to single-handedly sort through all this nonsense? bad form but fucking form not in my job description #aNYways. formal education sure did a FUCKING NUMBER on us huh #(a number i measure not in gpa or dollars of student debt. #but in the number of therapy sessions & medical debt it will take to recover.) #seriously folks. our education systems are...innately traumatizing for a huge number of students. and we NEED to address this. #the fact that it is culturally common for adults to have anxiety nightmares about school/exams...even decades later? #that is not cute. it is Alarming. #no one--much less entire generations--should be spending their developmental years in an environment of chronic stress & pressure & strain #and yet that is the reality for millions and millions of pre-teen and teenage and young adult students #this isn't healthy and it serves and empowers NO ONE #...except of course the many exploitative educational & financial & debt-collecting institutions thriving from the current balance of power #and of course it's a nefarious and powerful way to sabotage/erase the middle class #which billionaires and the wealth-inequality creators they finance couldn't possibly have any noteworthy interest in whatsoever #it's not like there's an elite group of people with huge financial incentives to drain/steal resources from the masses... #anyways sorry for going all Conspiracy Theory on you. #obviously the billionaires who control the vast majority of our resources and news and political campaign funding #are not tied to every single itty bitty social issue and i'm a silly billy to imply it #please tell elon musk to ignore this tweet i am so subservient and acquiescent #mr musky u r so good at inheriting slavery-built mining fortunes & buying other people's companies #& building rocket ships & fancy cars that do NOT explode/catch fire & also NOT running billion dollar companies into the ground #mr musky u r so talented genius billionaire playboy with 10 kids and ex-wives who find you creepy af babe u r basically iron man

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Emily and the extra realization that an angel had her wings torn off and eye gouged out and halo repossessed and was left for dead in hell- why exactly??

Emily: "A child."

Lute: "A filthy little sinner."

Emily: "You did all that to her, because she showed a moment of mercy to, a C H I L D?"

Lute: "Yes."

Emily: "And then you tried blackmailing her with this??"

Lute: "Yes."

Emily: "That's terrible."

Lute: "I'll admit it didn't work how we wanted it to, but the broken look on her disgusting little demon fling's face was still worth it."

Emily: "I meant that it was a wrong and terrible thing to do TO her. And to Charlie!"

Lute: "They've probably already broken up by now. That traitor will spend her final hours alone and wretched with nothing but her own failings to keep her company."

Emily: "How you can SMILE while saying that!?"

Lute: "Oh don't worry, she'll be out of her misery soon enough."

Emily: "..... respectfully Lute, I hope she fucks you up a little."

Lute: There's no chance in hell.

Lute: (comes back sans arm after getting a little fucked up by vaggie in hell)

Emily: "HA!"

Emily: "Anyway have you met our newest angel Sir Pentious? Sir Pentious is an angel now. He arrived here fresh from hell. Did you know sinners can be redeemed and Charlie was right and you were wrong and Vaggie did the right thing and Sir Pentious was just telling me allllll about how they made up and it was very cute and they're probably going to be in love forever? Meanwhile, YOU on the other hand- oh I'm so sorry, Lute. Too soon?" :)

#hazbin hotel #emily hazbin hotel #lute hazbin hotel #vaggie #chaggie #incorrect quotes #i think emily will need therapy just from all the things she's finding out about tbh #her and sir pentious in a healing group session of two #holding hands and doing calm breathing exercises #that turn into Emily just #Yelling #for several minutes straight #but in a calm and not at all stressed out kinda way #nooo #she's fine #she's so completely #Fine

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I was talking to a client today about "how to identify masking" as part of the process of learning how to shift masking from a reflexive coping strategy to a voluntary and conscious one and I feel like it led to a really important shift in framework FOR ME about masking and social distress.

Paraphrasing, the ideas we came to are as follows:

One of the reasons masking can be so difficult to recognize is because, essentially, masking is the act of performing "yourself" as a mirror for the other person you are interacting with. It's this idea of "I will micro-manage my own mood, affect, behavior, mannerisms, and environment in order to reflect back to you whatever version of "self" you need from me because if I don't there will be consequences". So because masking is essentially performing "mirroring" as selfhood by amplifying or minimizing aspects of yourself based on what you think the other person wants to see in you, it varies significantly from one context to another. The major commonality is that it takes up an INCREDIBLE amount of energy, mental and emotional resources, cognitive processing power, etc. So you don't identify masking by specific behaviors so much as by the feeling of "having a significant amount of your mental/emotional resources be occupied by the act of social interaction" to the point that it doesn't leave enough left-over for other cognitive tasks, or leaves you feeling exhausted and worn out, or basically by the impact that masking has on you during and after.

In this framework, part of why we get so anxious about new or unfamiliar people or situations is because we don't know how to mask in that context yet, and so until we get there and figure it out, we're basically just terrified of what could go wrong since we don't know what we're walking into.*

*This is the underlying framework of anticipatory and obsessive anxiety as well. Anticipatory and obsessive anxiety functions as the mechanism by which we conduct both predictive reasoning-basd advance planning and review/self-correctionof our mental predictive model.

Autistic aversion to uncertainty has a lot to do with our need to be able to use predictive reasoning-based advance planning to cope with "social deficits" aka how much harder it is for us to interpret subtextual/nonverbal cues, learn/meet social expectations, and work through/around disordered sensory processing. That predictive reasoning requires us to be familiar, in advance, with the stable constant factors that influence decision making in social contexts. If we aren't familiar with the constant variables than we can't plan, if we can't plan than we are more likely to make noticeable social mis-steps, and if we take notable social mis-steps there are consequences. It becomes necessary for us to be hypervigilent to observable patterns in other people's behavior in order to try to reverse engineer the social interaction playbook on the fly. That ends up making us more likely to assume personal responsibility for predicting and managing the emotional regulatory needs of people around us at all costs, replicating the behavioral/cognitive impacts of chronic traumatic stress due to the activation of our sympathetic nervous system from chronic hypervigilence.

Essentially, masking is a cognitive defense mechanism to severe and/or persistant traumatic interpersonal stressors. As the neurological impacts of chronic traumatic stress heal, we mask less frequently. But in order to heal from chronic traumatic stress, the human brain requires a safe environment that does not trigger a retraumatization episode or replicate feelings of helplessness/fear for safety. In other words, reducing/terminating masking safely requires us as autistic people to have consistent access to social environments in which we are able to utilize autistic interpersonal boundaries without fear of consequence or chonically unmet need. This requires the people around us to be able to respect not only autistic interpersonal boundaries, but also autistic self-expression/advocacy modalities and mediums.

I feel like a lot of the pieces of this framework have been rattling around in my head for a while but the flavor of words hit just right today and all the connections snapped into place.

Anyway, I'm still sort of sorting through the clinical implications of this framework but I think it's a direction I want to keep exploring for sure.

#i love my ASD client sessions it's so fucking MAGICAL how much those clients are thriving as we work together #like I don't know how to describe how well therapy goes when the client and clincian are speaking the same language it's really cool #anyway I feel like this is going to be part of how I assert the validity of my new modality because hot damn does it sync up perfectly #this framework so perfectly outlines the logical justification for the modality's clinical foundations #which will be really helpful in asserting the extant body of literature/evidence base for those clinical foundations as relevant #i need to update the files for my thesiiiiiiiiiiiiiis #actuallyautistic

[gum-iie]

not so interesting experiments in blasphemy

#he can start a group therapy session with himself #genshin imapact #dottore #zandik RIGHTS #i'm tired of pretending that webttore isn't the hotter dottore #it's been a while #i'm aware the coloring is shit i just needed this out of my life #i have a paper due today hm #procrastination doodles

[averagemrfox]

Yea ok but if that really is the Summer Maiden behind them and she’s just a kid and they put these two in charge of training and guiding her

The mother who abandoned her own child and killed the prior Spring Maiden both out of fear and the sibling who was loyal to the wrong person until it was almost too late and was unable to save her baby sister… I’m sure they’re coping fine with that responsibility

#rwby #raven branwen #yang xiao long #winter schnee #weiss schnee #well we know for a fact that Winter ain’t coping well with shit right now lmfao #in particular I GOTTA see Yang’s reaction to whatever relationship Raven has now with the Summer Maiden (assuming she’s a kid) #Raven seems like she’s softened a bit since we saw her last #is she motherly towards the SM at all? is Yang gonna see that and be upset bc why couldn’t Raven be that for her? #or will she be angry bc Raven decided this maiden is worth training and not just some scared little kid that she ‘mercy killed’ #plsssss I gotta know everything that’s been going on with Raven I need that Xiao Long-Rose-Branwen family therapy session #greenlight volume 10

[cutestalker]

Oh you guys are so desperate and pathetic for me truly. I haven’t been on in a month and I came back with a bunch of new followers and messages and anons

#I laughed at some of the shit you sent in #amusing lmaoooooo #some of you guys need therapy but around here violence is our therapy who wants a session #ignore me lmaoooo #just fighting for my attention mhm who said you’re worthy;)

[tea-time-terrier]

#throwback to that time I was a freshly out queer kid and was congratulated multple times for not being too queer #the therapist I had to see to get my letter for hrt was happy that I was binary-trans(?) and proceeded to go on a rant about NB identities #*during a therapy session* #there are many spaces that had meaningful impacts on me and I still don't know if I was accepted there #or if I was just palatable #people will ignore your identity and call it support #there was no point to this btw #sometimes you just need to make bad art for that collection of feelings you don't have the words to fully encompass #I love seeing such visibly queer people #and hope that is one day me #my art

[hyunpic]

#hyunjin #skz #fantaken #stray kids #immediately no. ive seen what i needed to see. NO. #the times are rough in hyunjinville like 👍 #im about to set up a go fund me to pay for my therapy sessions

[letmedownslows]

just saw an edit of anakin with summertime sadness, i'm so sad 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

#anakin skywalker #i need a therapy session

[limu-citrus]

Boys when they're bored.

#me #mypics #i need hug and forehead therapy sessions #and maybe dick me while you're at it

[polaroidcats]

I'm still such a beginner at sewing but I just made my first pillowcase (on my grandma's old, almost 60 year old sewing machine!) and I'm so proud of myself!! It looked really nice and then I messed up the buttons, had to cut out the fabric where I had tried to do the buttons and inserted another piece fabric to fill the gaps where the failed buttons were but still!!! I made an actual usable pillowcase!!! leaning against the pillow as i am typing this, 10/10 experience, pillow is fully covered by fabric!!

#yes i'm aware that's literally one of the easiest things to sew bc it's just straight lines but still #i had such a shitty therapy session today and still feel really shit even tho it's hours later but all i did since therapy was make this #so i need to celebrate it as a win haha #anywayss #sewing #ramblings

[therapysession01]

Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I won't love you.

#about love #qoutes #buttercup #bitches #ily ily ily #hozier #i miss him #therapy session #spotify #you broke my fucking heart #breakup #heartbreak #you broke my heart #heartbroken #i love u #ilove him #beanie #miss him #moveon #i need a hug #i need heeeeelp #need to talk

[nicistrying]

I can do it. It's 7.30am, I have an hour before I need to log on for work, which is plenty of time for a quick stretch and arm workout. I don't even need to make myself super presentable for work as I shouldn't be needing to call anyone until I start answering the phones at 1pm. I need a proper workout after a weekend off 💪

#lets goooo #monday #trying to start it off right #quick lil weights session #get some endorphins going bc i need them #fitblr #personal #exercise is therapy

[moss-sprout]

#get this man a therapist omg #i will PAY for his therapy sessions #thats how badly he needs them #edgy siren really popped out on this one #but fr though he's so self-sacrificing #hoping he can work to break the pattern #castle swimmer

[aj-lenoire]

THE NEW BOYFRIEND IS THE THERAPIST???

AS IN THE RELATIONSHIP THERAPIST WHO TED EXPLICITLY MENTIONED WAS MICHELLE’S PERSONAL THERAPIST FIRST???

THAT THERAPIST???

HEY ASSHOLE IT’S FUCKING ILLEGAL TO SLEEP WITH YOUR CLIENTS

#the rule is TWO YEARS after therapy stops and EVEN THEN it’s super fucking creepy #on a side note i hate hate HATE that sharon just signed off #just fucking hung up the phone like ‘okay byeeeee’ #like i know it was for a joke but the entire previous season established her as a bit grating but genuinely A GOOD THERAPIST #NO therapist worth their certification should just sign off like that #even if your time is up you NEED to take just a minute to help close up what you spent the session opening up #bc otherwise you’re leaving your patient incredibly emotionally unbalanced and vulnerable #it’s not a case of shoving things down—you come back to them later in another session—BUT YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE #ted is CLEARLY in a state of distress and NEEDS some reassurance #can one—ONE—fictional therapist be good???? PLEASE???? #ted lasso #3.03 4-5-1 #jacob bryanson #aj watches