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byunpum · 4 months

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Mama's Boy | Part 4

Pair: Jake x neytiri x human reader (trio couple) x sully children's

Warning: Kinda sad, cozy moments, conflict, family problems

Note: This part may be a bit long, but I hope you still enjoy it. I think only one part is left, but we'll see. Do you like the reading to be this long or shorter?. btwI recently opened a KO-Fi…. if you want to leave any tips or support I would appreciate it (it would help me to buy real coffee xD).

AVATAR MASTERLIST | Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6(final)

7 years ago… You were quite calm decorating and cleaning your home, neytiri was out for a walk with kiri and baby tuk. While jake had gone out to practice with lo'ak and neteyam. Leaving you alone, and peaceful. But all that quiet was interrupted, when you heard a lo'ak crying. He came rushing in, straight towards you. He was wiping away the tears that were falling on his cheeks. "MAMA" lo'ak whimpers, coming towards you. Throwing himself into your arms, not caring what you were doing. The boy wrapped his arms around your neck, burying his face in your neck. Lo'ak was 7 years old, and already about your height. But that didn't stop his mother from comforting him, and right now he needed it. "Honey…what's wrong? You're hurt" you push him away a little, taking a quick look. You see that he doesn't have any injuries, so what was wrong with him. You hug him again, caress his back. And you cuddle him from side to side. Trying to calm the child down. After a couple of minutes, you feel lo'ak move away a little. You wipe his face a little. "Are you more calm?" you smile at him a little trying to comfort him.

"Yes…it's just that…" lo'ak tries to speak, but stops when he feels his tears coming again. "Calm down love…what's wrong" you speak, you were worrying about whatever had happened, it was really mortifying him. "I was with daddy…practicing my shots with my bow. It was my turn and " lo'ak takes a deep breath. You already knew what the boy was going to say, you gently caress his cheek. "I didn't get it right…and I would try again many times. But dad told me that neteyam was better at archery than me. And that's not true!!!" Lo'ak begins to cry. "Love…daddy only said that for your own good, to make you better" you know it's not right what jake said. You hated it when jake compared lo'ak to neteyam. "No…he said neteyam was much better than me in everything…that I should be like him. And I don't want to be like neteyam, neteyam is ugly" lo'ak yells a little.

"Hey, first neteyam is not to blame for anything…and second, I will talk to your father. But love…don't make a big deal out of those comments. Your father sometimes doesn't think about what he's going to say, okay?" you try to reassure the boy. "Why don't you go and find spider, and you two can play. Yeah?" you say, watching as the boy perks up.

That same night, you and Jake have a big argument. Even neytiri had to step in. She was never on either side. It was so bad, that you even took lo'ak and left the house to sleep with mo'at. Behind you were kiri and neteyam. "You can't take the children with you," shouts Jake in anger. "Of course I can, I'm not going to leave them here with an immature person" you shout back, neytiri was trying to rationalize with you. But she ends up following you, giving Jake a disapproving look.

Present day…

"mom…can you help me with this?" asks neteyam, approaching you. He was holding a pretty feather ornament. "Sure come here sweetie" you speak, inviting him to sit down in front of you. You get up from the floor, to now work on his hair. The whole family had gotten up early to finish packing, almost everything was ready. But there were more things to pack, now that they had spent time in the metkayina clan. As you worked on neteyam's hair, you noticed how the scar from his wound had healed, but it was still there. "Honey…I'm glad to see you are healing" you speak, listening as neteyam laughs but then goes silent. "mom for a moment i thought i was going to die and never see you again" neteyam says. Lo'ak was sitting on your left side, he heard what his brother said. He quickly tapped him on the shoulder. "Bro…don't say that" lo'ak didn't like to talk about it. You on the other hand felt sorry, you almost lost one of your babies and you weren't there. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, and give him a hug. The tightest hug you can. "I would have found a way to see you, you know that right?" you speak, watching as the boy turns to look at you. "I know mom…that's why I stopped worrying" neteyam laughs a little. Settling down so you can continue to work on his hair.

Meanwhile tonowari was on his way to the sully's marui, that same morning he woke up early and discussed his decision with ronal, the woman strongly disagreed. She did not like the idea of having a human in her clan. But she had to support her partner's decision. Tonowari quietly approached the entrance of the marui and stood in silence. To his surprise, he had the scene that lo'ak was trying to explain to him the night before. Neteyam was sitting, while you were combing his hair. Lo'ak sat next to you eating a piece of fruit, while laughing with kiri. The children looked so happy around you, they felt safe. He walked in a little, causing his presence to be noticed by jake. The whole family looked at him. "tonowari…is something wrong?" asks jake, finding the man's presence in their home strange.

"I came here because I want to talk…to the whole family" says tonowari, looking at you quickly. I had to admit, your presence was strange. "Come in," says Jake. Everyone turns their attention to the man who had now sat down. "Your son…lo'ak" tonowari points to lo'ak quickly. Jake looks at him with concern, what lo'ak must have done now. Swallowing hard, praying it's nothing bad. "The boy talked to me and I must say he was mature enough to stand up for his mother" tonowari says.

"I'm sorry if he said something he shouldn't I" jake started to apologize, but tonowari raises his hand to pause him. "He didn't do anything wrong…in fact he convinced me. I accept that human stays between us" tonowari says, lo'ak looks at you and smiles wide. Holding your hand tightly. "Are you serious?" jake couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Yes…I can imagine how bad it must be for the family not to have a member in it." Tonowari can see how everyone in the family gets excited. "But I have one condition," Tonowari says, staring at you. "Yes tell me…whatever" you speak, tonowari is surprised. For the first time he was talking to you face to face, he must admit you were very beautiful. And he could notice some features you shared with your son, lo'ak.

"I will give you a testing time. You will have to live as a metkayina, swim, fish, work as a metkayina. You will not be anyone's burden, and you will earn your own place here in the clan, that's for sure," says Tonowari. He was serious, you only had one chance. If you did something wrong, or made a mistake it was all over. "Don't worry, I will do my best. I assure you I won't cause any trouble," you say. "They're going to love her," says Kiri excitedly, getting up from the floor to hug you. This news makes the whole family happy. Tonowari says goodbye and leaves. The whole family is silent for a moment, analyzing what had happened. This was a lot of information, for such a short time. "Mom…you are staying here!!!" says lo'ak, the boy is so excited. He was about to cry. The only family member who hadn't said anything was jake, he was still sitting in the same position.

"Lo'ak…why did you go talk to tonowari and not say anything to me" jake sounded upset, in fact he looked upset. "Jake" neytiri starts talking, she already knew what jake was going to come out with. "Dad it's just that you had argued with him and I wanted to fix things" lo'ak tries to explain his point of view. "You know this could have ended worse" jake says, you pick yourself up off the floor. Making a noise like 'ha'. Jake looks at you in surprise. "I can't believe it, your son has done something wonderful. And instead of congratulating him…you're scolding him? You are unbelievable jake" you speak, while crossing your arms. Neytiri could see your position, and if there was one thing she knew, it was that you were not an easy woman. You might be small, but your character and the power you had over Jake was gigantic. "Okay, everybody calm down. Lo'ak you did a great job" neytiri reaches up to stroke the boy's face. "And jake…Y/N is right, no need to complain" neytiri speaks, hoping everything will calm down.

Jake takes a deep breath, stretching his arms in the air. Shaking his body a little, stretching out one of his hands to signal for you to come closer. He had a goofy grin on his face, when he felt you approach his arm. Skillfully grabbing your waist, with a quick movement pulling you into his body . Cuddling you into his arms, filling your cheeks with kisses as your laughter could be heard throughout the marui. This was supposed to be a moment of happiness for the family, they were finally going to be together after a long time apart. That same morning, everyone helped to unpack all the belongings. Neytiri was thankful that the heaviest things had not been packed, because they did have a lot of things. Also that night, the family celebrated like in the old days, of course…inside the marui and in silence. Preparing a good meal, dancing and laughing about the old days. It felt so nostalgic, it had been a long time since they had had such a good time.

Everyone got ready to rest. The boys settled into their hammocks, ready to sleep. As in the old days, you went one by one to say good night to them. Giving them a kiss on the forehead. First it was tuk, then kiri, then neteyam and for the last it was lo'ak. "Goodnight my precious baby" you speak, giving him a kiss on the forehead. Watching as lo'ak giggles tenderly, he looked so adorable like that. "Mama can you sleep with me?" lo'ak asks you, causing a smile from you. "Love…" you didn't know what to say to him, lo'ak was too old for you to sleep with him. But you felt sorry for your boy, he had missed you so much. But if you were going to be fair, all the children in the family had asked to sleep with you. Just before you could give an answer, Jake came up behind you. "ahh no, your mom is going to sleep with us…and that's it" says jake, seeing how lo'ak's face is one of sadness. "I promise you that later mom will sleep with you, ok?" you speak, saying goodbye again to lo'ak.

Jake and you walked away. Jake looked back, to see lo'ak giving him a dirty look. This surprised Jake, chuckling to himself. As he walked you over to the hammock you shared. "Ney" you hum, as you climb into the hammock. Snuggling into neytiri's chest, she snuggles you into her arms. Feeling jake settle in behind you. "Your son hates me," jake says, burying his head in the back of your neck. "Which one?" you speak, as neytiri lets out a laugh. "Hey" jake slaps you on your ass. You and neytiri continue to laugh. "I'm talking about lo'ak, you would have seen the way he looks at me" jake was still shocked, lo'ak had never looked at him like that. "You asked for it…you're taking his mom" says neytiri. "Yeah but his mom…she's ours too, isn't she?" says jake, leaving a few wet kisses on your neck. Neytiri hugs you tighter on her chest, you felt so good. You had missed them too much.

2 months later…

You had gotten used to life in the new clan pretty fast. You had started taking some lessons with ronal on fishing, since you couldn't ride an ilu. You had to do everything the traditional way, according to the na'vis. But for you it was normal, humans had to do things traditionally all the time. So fishing with a net, collecting the things you had to use, even though it was more difficult, you had managed it. Ronal was still not very sure about you, whenever you were with her there was always your bodyguard, Neytiri. Your partner did not leave you alone with Ronal at any time. According to Neytiri Ronal could tempt you with your life. You thought she was overreacting, but you didn't argue with neytiri about such things, she had always been that way with you.

On the other hand, tonowari could tell that everything jake and lo'ak had told her about you was true. You were the most peaceful person he had ever met. He had barely listened to you, well… he hadn't talked to you much. But whenever he saw you, you were always with your children, or helping a clan member. Tonowari would approach the na'vis and ask them what they thought of you. They would always respond with a 'she is very nice''I like her, she is a very good person'. This would relieve it a little, but you were still on probation.

On the other hand, your relationship with your family was in a good state, better than ever. Everything seemed to be running smoothly. Or so you thought. It was morning around 10:00 am as far as you could calculate. Kiri had insisted the night before that you accompany her to look for shells on the beach where she liked to go. You accepted without a problem, you had nothing to do and wanted to spend time with one of your girls. Lo'ak was invited to the expedition, of course he didn't have to ask…he was always with you. If he wasn't with his friends, it was behind you. "Hey…watch out, the sun looks like it's going to be very hot" says neytiri. If the sun was bad for the na'vi, it was worse for you. You joke a little, watching as neytiri approaches you to put some kind of cream on you to protect you from the sun. You and Jake joked that this was a sunblock bomb, because the smell was so strong. "Ahh I hate that smell!!!" you complain, but neytiri nips you a little to stop you from moving. "Yeah…but you're going to thank me when you don't get burned like a tapirus" neytiri sounds angry, seeing that you don't take her concern seriously.

You say goodbye and leave with kiri and lo'ak towards the beach. They arrived quickly, the place was very close. Kiri was lying in the water, sinking her face from time to time. While you were sitting next to her, you had your head back and your eyes closed. Enjoying the warmth, it had rained a lot the previous days. The weather felt great. While lo'ak was playing eywa knows where. You could just hear the water splashing in the distance. Out of nowhere, you feel someone approach and make a spray of water fall on your face. "Lo'ak…watch out!!!" you scold, seeing the boy laughing in front of you. He looked like a puppy about to make a mischief. "Mom, I want you to meet someone?" says lo'ak. This gets your attention, settling in straight to look at him. "Is it a girl? Tsireya?" you ask, lo'ak gets nervous and moves his face in a 'no' expression. "It's something better…it's my other brother" lo'ak says, you look at him curiously. Lo'ak had gone crazy, as far as you knew the only brother he had was neteyam. "You mean teyam?" you say.

Lo'ak lets out a laugh, as he sits closer to you. "Mama no, he is ahhh he is a tulkun. I want you to meet him" lo'ak was excited, he wanted you to meet payakan. You think about it for a while, but you accept. You couldn't say no to that adorable little face. You tap kiri's shoulder. The little girl lifts her face. "What happened, Mom?" speaks Kiri, and you brush a few strands of hair out of her face. "Honey I'm going for a walk with lo'ak do you want to go?" you ask her. "Nooo mama just you and me" lo'ak complains, crossing his arms. "You don't have to yell…mom don't worry I'll be here a while longer and then I'll go home" kiri says.

"Ok….but be very careful. I trust you" you speak, watching as Kiri smiles at you and goes back to playing with the little fish in the area. You get up from the water, accompanying lo'ak. He was already jumping up and down with excitement. Telling you all about his friend, how he met him and where he came from. All while walking towards his ilu. The trip was quite fast, lo'ak arrived getting up a little from his ilu. Calling out his friend's name. "Mama he will be here soon" lo'ak looks around, seeing if he saw his friend. "Don't worry if he doesn't come" you speak up, but remain silent when you see as a shadow below you. "Here he is!!!" lo'ak says, excited. Payakan comes out of the water, making a noise of greeting. "Payakan look…this is my mom. Remember I told you about her?" says lo'ak moving to the side, to take your hand. So that you would come closer to him. Lo'ak sometimes forgot that your legs were shorter and you were smaller. But you manage to stand now on the creature's flipper. While lo'ak's ilu begins to swim around.

"Mama he is payakan my brother…and payakan she is my mama" lo'ak speaks, petting the creature. Tulkun makes another noise, and you startle a little. You had to admit that this was very new to you. You still didn't understand the language of signs very well, let alone this creature. "mama he says you are very pretty" says lo'ak. You could see the look of pride on his face, this was very important to him. "Thank you" you look at payakan, and he gets excited. Making a stream of water come out of his back. "Mama likes you very much" lo'ak says. You giggle a little, reaching over to pet the creature. It was very amazing and majestic. You and lo'ak spent the whole afternoon playing and hanging out together. For a moment, you just sit in lo'ak's ilu, watching the boy swim and play with his friend. You loved seeing him like that, so happy and carefree.

After a while, for some reason you started to feel sick. You had felt dizzy that morning, but you didn't think it was important. But now you were feeling worse, the dizziness was getting stronger and your vision was getting quite blurry. And not to mention the headache and stomach pain you were getting. "L-lo'ak" you yell under your breath. You were already writhing in pain, you lean forward. Trying to get your balance. The ilu of lo'ak noticed something was going on, and began to make a lot of noise. Catching lo'ak's attention, the boy stops swimming and takes a look at your location. He can tell how you were moving oddly, and his ilu looked a little uneasy.

He swims as fast as he can, coming towards you. "MAMA, MAMA!!!" lo'ak approaches and tries to get your attention. Lifting your shoulder, but he sees how you don't respond. You had fainted, your body was resting in the ilu. "Mom get up, what's wrong with you!!!" lo'ak is getting very desperate, what had happened to you, you were fine minutes ago. Maybe the sun was too strong, or you were sick. Lo'ak climbs into his ilu, carrying you in his arms. Leaving for the clan, he made his ilu swim as fast as possible, but he could not hold back his tears. You were still not getting up and he was getting desperate. "mama please…get up" shouts lo'ak shaking you a little. The trip back was a long one for lo'ak, arriving at the coast. Shouting his father's name for him to arrive. "Dad!!!dad!!!help!!!" shouts lo'ak.

Jake had arrived at the marui, he was accompanied by neytiri. Kiri had told them that you and lo'ak had gone for a walk. But she didn't tell them where you were going, this made Jake a little nervous. Jake was very careful with you, and even more so since you were on probation. You couldn't cause trouble or else they would have to leave. Jake hears the shouts of lo'ak, who were approaching the marui. "What's going on?" neytiri gets up from the ground, running to the entrance accompanied by jake. Watching as lo'ak enters with his mother in his arms. You had woken up on the road, but a you were still very dizzy. "Y/N!!!" neytiri takes you in her arms, and quickly places you on the ground. "Lo'ak what happened…what happened?" shouts jake, sitting down next to neytiri. Watching as the woman tried to stabilize y/n. "Honey, come on open your eyes" says jake, tapping you on the cheek. While neytiri placed a wet cloth on her forehead, jake tried to get your oxygen machine to pump out more oxygen (here I'm talking about the mask the reader is wearing).

After a while, neytiri managed to get you up. "Take some water" neytiri speaks, stroking your hair. You were sitting up, feeling tired and even a little dizzy. Lo'ak was standing all this time, watching as his parents tried to help you. "Don't worry…it was just a dizzy feeling" you laugh a little. "A simple dizziness…ma y/n you were unconscious" neytiri speaks annoyed. Meanwhile jake was walking from one side of the marui to the other. "Lo'ak what the hell happened? What did you do?" jake looks at lo'ak intensely. "I…mom and I were at the sea. We were visiting payakan" lo'ak says timidly. The poor boy looks at you quickly, trying to seek your help. "J-jake" you speak softly. But you watch as your partner ignores you, and moves closer to lo'ak. "Why are you so ignorant…you know that's a dangerous place for your mother" jake yells.

"But daddy" lo'ak tries to defend himself. "Dad nothing… why are you like this? You're fucking irresponsible" jake yells again. But the words were like a knife to lo'ak, jake was acting as if the boy had caused this on purpose. "JAKE" you yell, getting up from the ground. Neytiri tries to stop you, but you walk towards jake. "What the hell is wrong with you?" you look at Jake in shock. "I'm telling him the truth, why can't he behave like neteyam" says jake.

"Because he's not neteyam!!!!" you yell as loud as you can. Lo'ak wipes away some tears and runs out of the marui. "Lo'ak come over here!!!" jake was going to stop lo'ak, but you stop him. "What do you want him to stay for?" you were annoyed, jake was always going overboard with lo'ak. He didn't half like how he talked to his son. "Why do you keep comparing lo'ak to neteyam? They are completely different people. Besides this whole situation is not his fault" you speak.

"But he knows he shouldn't take you to that place," Jake speaks. "Jake, I'm a grown woman…I do what I want. And I'm getting sick and tired of this attitude you have with our kids. I'm reaching my limit" you were so upset, you were turning red with anger. "Y/N listen to me" jake tries to speak.

"I don't want to listen to you…this isn't something that's happening now. This has been going on for years. Have you ever wondered why your children look at you with fear, because yes, they are afraid of you? Have you ever asked them how they feel or what they want to do, no. You just give orders and think that everyone is doing what they want to do. You just give orders and think everyone here is going to follow them." You yell, pacing a bit all over the marui. Neytiri was sitting on the floor watching and listening to all the discussion. She wasn't saying anything, because she knows you were right.

"I think I'm tired of this…I love you Jake, I love you with all my soul, but I think it's best if we go back to our home… "You lower your head, you felt bad and this whole situation was exhausting you more. You didn't want it to escalate to this level. "Let's go home?" jake gets a little confused, glancing quickly at neytiri. She lifts her shoulders, she didn't know what you were talking about. "I will go with lo'ak to our home, live with mo'at. If any of the children want to leave with me I will take them. But I will not leave them here…getting this treatment. Because they deserve to have a normal childhood" you had tears in your eyes. Leaving Jake there silent and stunned, as you walked towards the Marui's balcony. Neytiri gets up quickly chasing after you.

"Y/N!!!" neytiri holds your hand, you didn't want to look at her. You were too overwhelmed. "Tell me what you are saying is not true. You love us, you love me and Jake. We can work this out." neytiri makes you look at her. She knew you were right, but she couldn't let you go. Let one of her children go away. "I can't stand jake" you yell a little. Neytiri stands there in silence, she knew you weren't really saying it, you loved Jake. Something was happening to you. "You are not serious" neytiri sounded sad. "Ney…let's go away, the two of us, let's go back home. I need to be home" you start crying, the more you talk. Neytiri pulls you to her chest, wrapping you in a very tight hug. "Ma y/n…be calm. I miss our home too" says neytiri. Sitting there, with you in her arms.she sensed something was happening to you, something in you was changing, you weren't like that. Meanwhile, Jake was not far from you. He felt so bad…this was his fault.

"Do you think mom will leave us?" tuk looks at neteyam and kiri. The group of kids had been spying on their parents, when they saw lo'ak come out of the marui. The boy was sitting next to neteyam. He was still teary-eyed. "Well I'm going to my mama's," said lo'ak, he was upset. "I…I don't know. But I don't want mom to leave" neteyam looks back inside the marui. This is the first time he has seen his parents argue like this.

P.s I promise I will upload the next part soon. But I would like to know what you guys think so far. And what do you think is going to happen?

Tag: @baybaybear1@hoodiepandaninja16@teyyyteyyy@anika-rose-walker@victoria2054 @raviolisblog @jessi-dan@neteyams-wh0re@jimfiqs@bitchykittenconnoisseur@chershire23@holynightnacho@danilezilla @thepotatoislost

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disneyprincemuke · 6 months

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midnights, 5 * mv1

max knows how much you hate thunderstorms, and he can't help but think of you when he's home and there's one

pairings: max verstappen x fem!reader

warnings: nothing~

notes: some might say i'm using midnights as a way to cope with my rough breakup from like 7 months ago but i can't be too sure (oversharing is my personality)

(prev) // (next)

max had been on his driving simulator playing a game when the rain started to pour about 10 minutes ago. he didn't even realise that it had been raining that heavily until jimmy and sassy curled up by his lap.

now he's on the couch, both cats snuggled up into his thigh with the tv on. from the corner of his eye, he notices the crackling bright lights that break up the sky that’s often accompanied by a rumble.

it started off soft, but it’s gradually getting louder.

his mind starts to drift to you. max doesn’t imagine you’re sleeping well in these conditions - or that you're even able to. you’ve always hated thunderstorms in the middle of the night, claiming that all the ruckus is more disruptive than relaxing.

on nights like these, he would typically hold you tight in his arms. he would be sat up against the headboard while you lie on his chest, chatting with you as a distraction from the noise. on rare occasions, he would brush your hair until you’ve fallen asleep on him.

he wonders how well you’re coping with it now that he’s not next to you. he glances at his face-down phone, wondering if he should check in on you just for tonight.

it wouldn’t have to lead to anything — he just wants to make sure.

he just needs to ensure you’re not curled up into a ball in a corner with your hands on your ears. he can still remember it like daylight when it happened the first time.

it was your very first night in his apartment, and you’d both fallen asleep very early in the evening. at some point in the night, it started to rain heavily. a particularly loud thunder had shaken him awake but when he tried to pull you closer to his body, he realised you were no longer in bed with him.

he muttered your name and found you curled in the far corner of his bedroom. your knees were pressed to your chest, chin resting on top with your phone on the ground with a video illuminating your face. even with your airpods in, you still had your hands over your ears.

you weren’t crying, but you were definitely shaken up quite a bit. he managed to get you back into bed but you didn’t fall asleep for another 2 hours. so he stayed up with you in hushed whispers and muted giggles until you drifted off to sleep on his chest.

thunder rumbles, actually surprising him with its intensity as he juggles his phone from falling on sassy. even his cats flinch at the loud sound and snuggle even further into his thigh.

now he’s growing even more concerned about your whereabouts. when there’s a thunderstorm and you’re apart because of his race, he tries to call and talk to you until the storm has passed.

but it seems that he’s lost that privilege to ask if you’ll be okay tonight. he doesn’t even know if you’d answer his message.

the paranoia of your wellbeing never leaves, because he keeps glancing at his phone for a call or message from you. if you called him right now and asked him to come over, he would go to you without a doubt and another thought.

his phone lights up and buzzes, actually making his heart jump in his chest. the excitement immediately disappears when he finds out who the notification is from.

it’s just daniel, asking him if he’s doing fine over the break.

daniel hasn’t left him alone since his confession that night in qatar. though he was able to leave the bar on his own, the older driver was knocking on his hotel room door 10 minutes later.

daniel just hung in his hotel room until he fell asleep. max assumed that he wasn’t trusted to be on his own after a confession that shook daniel, because he was gone by the time he woke up the next morning.

max has tried asking alexandra about you, once after the main race in qatar. but she just shook her head and gave him a weak smile before walking away. charles could only mimic his girlfriend's response with a pat on his shoulder, promptly moving on to talk about other things.

nights like these, max usually sleeps peacefully. unlike you, rain and thunderstorms mixed with the darkness of the night calm him. since your distaste for the combination, he has learned to enjoy it differently.

he loves the late-night conversations he shared with you and having your weight on him. he misses the intimacy of just lying in the dark room with you, talking and mapping out your future together.

your future. your future that suddenly seems like a blurry hallucination, once being the only thing that he would look forward to when he would think about the course of his life. your future that's now obsolete.

max doesn't fall asleep at a reasonable time that night. he waits for the weather to calm and everything to go silent before he does. it's his way, on his own, to feel like you're still here with him. even if you're not.

taglist: @merchelsea @leclercdream @labelledejourr @laneyspaulding19 @lpab @graciewrote @hollie911 @thatsojasminesworld @mycenterfold

#hehe #screaming crying throwing up #LOL #max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen fanfiction #max verstappen x you #f1 x reader #f1 #f1 x you #formula 1 #formula 1 x reader #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1

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drunkfrogg · 2 months

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time zones | charles leclerc

pairing: reader x charles leclerc

summary: different time zones keep getting in the way, and charles realises it isn't sustainable.

warnings: a little bit of angst never hurt anybody, did it?...right?!

note: first fic in a long time. enjoy! <3

MASTERLIST

7:02am.

Charles stared at the blurry numbers on his phone, squinting at the brightness of the screen and the sunlight pouring into his bedroom. He squeezed his eyes shut when he noticed the notifications from you. Three texts, two calls. All unanswered.

The first text, at 11:58pm.

I just finished work. I'll call you on the way home. Can't wait to hear your voice. I need it.

Charles' chest hurt. 11:58pm, minutes after he must have dozed off. He had tried so hard to keep his eyes open but his day had been so long and sleep was fighting a good battle against him.

At midnight is when the first missed call came through. It would've been 5pm for you. You would be getting out of work and Charles would be about to get into bed. You would've just got to your car, set up Google Maps, and called him. That was the only time you could find to chat to each other lately, and Charles had missed it.

Worse yet, he let you drive home with the disappointment of waiting all day to hear his voice, only to still be alone come night time.

Twenty six minutes later, at your 5:27pm and his 12:27am, the second text came through.

I made it home safe. I saw you got P2, congratulations! Very well deserved my love. Are you still awake?

That's when the next call came through.

Charles knew that you'd have been upset when he didn't answer. He knew you'd be holding back the intrusive thoughts. The what-ifs, the tears, the disappointment. It would have been keeping you up much later when you'd be trying to sleep. But he knew what was really eating at you was the hope that he would wake up and light up your phone with an incoming call.

He knew it was true when he saw the text at your 11:03pm and his 6:03am.

I think we've missed each other tonight. I was looking forward to hearing your voice, but I hope you celebrated that win well. Congratulations on P1 my love, well deserved. Goodnight.

He stared at the time of your last text, your 11:03pm and his 6:03am. One hour ago. You'd barely been asleep for an hour and here he was waking up to start his day. By the time you'd wake up, he'd be in meetings. By the time he'd get out, you'd be in work. By the time you'd finish, he'd be going to sleep.

Charles squeezed his eyes shut. Distance was never easy, but this wasn't the first time you'd missed your small window to talk to each other. It had been happening a lot lately. He knew it was hurting you because it was killing him.

He opened the tab on his phone of flights that neither of you could take. He was stuck where he was, and you were stuck elsewhere. There was never time. Something always changed the circumstances for the worse, and Charles sank his shoulders in defeat.

He deleted the tab on his phone.

Opening your messages, he sent his own reply.

Good morning, mon amour. I'm sorry we missed each other last night. I hope you're sleeping well. I'll call you after you finish work.

He stared at your missed calls again. There was nothing he could do except stare at them and wish they weren't real.

The alarms he forgot to set would have urged him out of bed over half an hour ago, and so he got himself up and dressed for the meeting he was about to be late to, but he couldn't open the door of his lifeless hotel room.

Guilt gnawed at his stomach. It wasn't fair of him to make you live this way for him. You deserved more than a short phone call every couple of days, and he realised that the only way for that to ever change was if you were here with him.

But he knew deep down that following him around the world wasn't what you wanted. While he could give you security, he couldn't give you stability. That's what you wanted more than anything, and that's when he finally realised, after suffering the long distance for so long, that there were two things in life that meant most to him.

The job and the girl.

He wanted both. But as he opened the door of his hotel room, he realised he could only have one. He had to pick. But he knew it wasn't really a choice. There was only one option.

And it wasn't the girl.

#f1 #f1 x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #angst #f1 imagine #charles leclerc imagine #formula one #formula 1 #formula one x reader

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pogueswrld · 7 months

Text

*•.¸♡ make up sex ♡¸.•*

pairing: fred weasley x fem!plus-sized!reader

summary: Freddie talks too much, and his girlfriend is exhausting all the ways she knows to shut him up. Softly, of course.

warnings: smut🦢!1!1!1!1! there's plot and fluff, and everyone's of age ofc, although it is hinted that reader is still in Hogwarts, kinda sub!Fred top!reader, like he's whining and panting and begging and shit (bites lip) ANYWAY, dick riding hehe, no usage of y/n.

note: it is 2:59 pm on a Friday, let's see how fast I write this shit. note 0.2: Okay so it's 5:54 pm on the same day, I think I'm done. This isn't edited, but it took me 3 hours to write 😁

He was still talking. Why, in the name of Merlin, was he still talking?

Dating Fed Weasley is fun, there's no denying that, but Good Heavens isn't that a boy a handful. Both literary and figurative. He's got a wide imagination, a never-squelching desire for knowledge, and a big heart. That is a dangerous combination for a somewhat intelligent and never-quiet man.

She's a saint, his girlfriend, and Ginny made a point to always express that to her. "How do you put up with that all the time?" Gesturing to Fred, who was using his hands in elaborate motions as he went on his fourth rant of the morning on the same subject to George. She'd only shrug, lips engulfing another spoonful of whatever ice cream the girls were sharing. "In one ear and out the other darling."

Not to say that she hates it, or that it bothers her- quite the opposite actually. Fred's excited and hyper personality is what made him so interesting to her, it was what drew her to him in the first place. She enjoys listening to him rant, even about the most random things -he stopped her the other day and explained in great detail how penguins mate and how once the female accepts the male's proposing gestures, they're together for life- and she adores it.

Yes, it sure can be a bit much at times, but she wouldn't change it for the world. Imagine loving a man who was as boring and dry as his older brother, Percy? She would have to jump out of Ginny's bedroom window!

Today was her first day back in the Burrow from Hogwarts for summer break, and she was exhausted, to say the least. She was up from dawn, finishing up the last bits of her packing before leaving for the train station with Harry, Hermione, and Ron. And because she's a good friend, she made sure each of her friends made it to their transportation safely before she and Ron were picked up by Fred and George.

In the car, Ron opened the untameable can of worms by mentioning Bill who was staying over at the Burrow for the summer as well, taking a couple of months' worth of vacation away from the dragons and such. That was the spark Fred needed to blast off into a hundred rants one after the other.

He spoke about seeing Bill again, which is understandable, he hasn't been home in years. He spoke about the dragons, which led to his excited mention of his favorites and how he's going to ask Bill how it was training them. Then he turned to Quidditch training, and even though both him and George had left Hogwarts a year or so ago, the both of them still found time to play the game as a side hobby. After that was all done, George gave her and Ron and update on the shop, and Fred went on and on about all kinds of new candies and flavors and combinations they were working on to add to the store by the beginning of next year.

She was understandably tired by the time the Burrow came into view. And as much as she adores her boyfriend, she needed him to shut the fuck up for twenty minutes. But he's so sweet, and his eyes light up when talking, and he gets this beautiful energy surrounding him when he does it that she doesn't have the nerve to ask him to be silent for a bit. So she excuses herself and tries to bury her body under the covers of his bed.

But he finds her there, and he reports to her that dinner is ready, and that Bill is here, and that she looks so gorgeous on his bed, and that there's a strange animal in the backyard, and that Ginny tried to curse the bathroom when he went in to use it, and that he doesn't understand why she'd do that, and that George is out in the garage, and that-

She jolts up on his bed, her eyes twitching as she stares at him. He looks so beautiful, but he's talking too damn much. She cups his face, and he goes silent and stares at her with wide eyes.

"Wha'?" He mumbled, his lips squished together as she squeezed his cheeks.

"You talk too much, ya' know that?" She said, her thumb slightly caressing the apples of his cheeks.

He opens and closes his mouth like a fish out of water, and tilts his head ever so slightly. "Do' it bothe' yo'?"

She giggles breathlessly and lets go of his face before pressing her lips tightly against his. "Not all the time, but times like today..." She rests her forehead against his and sighs, "It can be a lot, and I need you to read the room and tone it down a little bit, d'ya think you can do that for me?"

He stares, something in his gaze changes, and he nods. "Of course, baby. Whateva' you want."

Great. Now she feels bad. She sighs and pushes past the blankets swallowing her to sit up on her knees. She wraps her arms around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug. "I love you, truly love you, and I don't mean to be mean to you, and you know I love it when you ramble, but I'm really overwhelmed today, darling. I'm sorry."

Fred wraps his arms around her waist in return, hugging her tightly. It's true that he can't always read the room, and now that he's no longer attending school he's got much more free time on his hands than he knows what to do with. It takes him a couple days to be able to read his girlfriend's body language like he used to once she's home from school, and he feels terrible that he was one of the reasons for making her feel so incredibly overwhelmed. He also feels slightly ashamed of his non-stop rambling all day.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, mumbling something into her skin that made her shiver and giggle away from him. "Stop," she breathes in a giggle, "It tickles."

He chuckles, his hands squeezing at the skin of her waist as he stares at her dreamily. "I said, I'm sorry I made you feel overwhelmed, I promise to try and do better."

She grins at him, so brilliantly, that he can't help but lean down and capture her lips in a soaring kiss. "I love you." He mumbles against her lips, and she smiles while trying to kiss him back. "C'mon now, love, let's go have dinner."

Her eyes darken; her pupils widen, and she smiles that mischievous grin that he adores so much, and he groans while throwing his head back. He knows exactly what is on her mind.

"I have a better idea." She whispers, giggling as she throws herself into his lap and kisses him with such force that she's pushing him down on his bed. He yelps, his hands traveling to the bed and her waist, holding on to her for stability. Bubbling heat travels across his body through her kiss, and he sighs when her cold fingertips trace down his arms, sending goosebumps across his body.

Her kisses transfer from his lips to the sides of his mouth, his cheeks, down his jawline, until she's pampering open-mouthed kisses across his neck like stardust.

He sighs, his eyes closed and his head thrown back on the pillow. "Please," He breathed, a low whine undertoning his voice. She shivers above him, her teeth grazing his skin in a teasing bite.

She's always hated the effect his voice has on her.

"Please what, darling?"

He whines. It's low, for her ears only, it's a barely-there breath, but his mouth is right next to her ear and she hears him loud and clear. Her panties dampen almost immediately.

"Please touch me," He whispers. His hands gripped tightly to her thighs. He knows better than to roam her body without permission. She pulls back slightly, blinking up at him with a soft smile and long lashes. "But I am touching you, Freddie."

He knows this game. This cruel, cruel game she adores to play. He whines in pretentious of hating his role, but his hips buck, and his cock twitches underneath the fabrics of his boxers and trousers.

He slowly traces one of his hands from her thighs to her palm before letting her fingers rest on his aching cock. He guides her hands to gently rub him through his clothes and he lets out a breath when her fingers squeeze around him. "Touch me there." He gasps.

She entertains him, allowing him to set the pace and buck into her hold. He releases deep breaths and low whines, stuttering moans every time she tightens her grip around him. She can feel herself getting wetter by the second, how his eyes are shut desperately, his teeth bite down on his bottom lip, and her name is gasped out of his throat with every other movement. It makes her feel powerful, it makes her entire being vibrate.

"That's enough." She mumbles, pulling her hand out of his grasp and bathing in his complaining whines as she pulls off her shirt. He blinks up at her, watching her boobs bounce in the push-up bra she's wearing before she unhooks it and slides it off her shoulders. He blinks again and swallows whatever drool and saliva has gathered in his mouth, causing his Adam's apple to pop along with the action. She smiles at the sight and quickly bends down to leave a swift kiss on it.

"Take off your shirt." She commands him, and he does so without hesitation, throwing the garment somewhere on the floor of the room he shares with his twin brother. He watches her hands intensely as she teases him by running her thumb on the inside of her trouser's elastic, before slowly pulling the item down and off. He groans at the sight of his favorite panties on her; a partially lacey red thong that settles up between her butt cheeks. She always told him how uncomfortable it made her, but the look on his face when he saw it on her made every second she spent wearing it worth it.

"You're trying to kill me, love?" He groans, daring himself to take a dangerous leap and push his thumb against the damp cloth, pushing down on where he knows her clit hides. He glances up at her, watching the way her lips part and her mouth hangs open at his action.

"And what am I to tell George when he asks? Death by a red thong?"

He grins up at her, picking up the speed at which he's rubbing on her bud of nerves. "Only if you're the one wearing it."

She shudders, forcefully holding herself back from grinding against his thumb. Instead, she grips his wrist and pushes it away from her. She hooks two fingers on each side of his trousers and boxers before meeting his eyes, watching as he licks his lips and nods before pulling the clothing items down his hips and legs.

His cock bounces out from underneath the fabric happily, it smacks against his lower abdomen and she giggles at the sight of precum beads rolling down his slit. He whines, throwing his arm on his face to cover the embarrassing blush that matched his hair color. "Don't laugh at me, why're you so mean to me today?"

Her giggle grows louder, and she leans down to push his arm off his face. "I never intend on being mean to you, my darling, you just bring it out of me. I'm sorry." She mumbles as she meets his gaze, her hand cupping one side of his face and he leans towards her touch. "Don't hide from me, yeah?"

He nods.

"Good boy."

He whines, his eyes squeeze shut and his jaw drops when her fingers wrap around him again, but her thumb is collecting his precum before spreading it down his length before she works a steady rhythm going up and down. His whines slowly turn into moans. His noises were so heavenly that she could swear her wetness was flowing through the fabric of her thong and onto the skin of her thighs.

She sees his muscles contracting and she stops, removing her hand from him altogether. He opens his eyes, blinking up at her in confusion as a noise of complaint slips out of his throat. But he swallows it back up when he sees her push her thong to the side and spread her folds before sitting on his length, and she grinds back and forth on him without actually allowing him access to her.

He groans, throwing his head back. She's coating him in her juices and there's a delicious squelching noise coming from between them and it's driving him insane. He sucks air into his lungs through clenched teeth and shudders when she allows a single moan to slip through her parted lips.

Suddenly, he's engulfed in her warmth and he hisses. His hands grip tightly to her thighs, hips, and any plump skin he can find. He squeezes her, hissing, and pants until he's sheathed completely inside of her. "Slow down," He gasps, "Slow- slow down, slow down, slow down." His voice turns from low breaths to almost high-pitched whines, and she leans down and captures his lips in a silencing kiss.

"Need you to lay here and keep your pretty mouth shut, darling, can you do that? Can you stay quiet for me so your family doesn't hear us fucking?" He whines, hips bucking into her warm cunt causing his eyes to roll to the back of his head as he nods mindlessly. "Yes, yes, yes. I'll be quiet. Fuck- please, baby, please fuck me."

She giggles at his desperate whines, and slowly rocks her hips back and forth, just enough movement to send pleasure jolts but not enough to get them going. She was testing the waters, trying to see how loud he could get without giving him much of anything.

Fred was losing his mind, he could feel her walls clamp down on him every time she moved back, and he could feel himself nudging against her feel-good spot every time she moved forward. Her wetness made a mess out of both of them, making it easy to slide into her and pick up the pace.

He arched his back slightly, just enough to hint at her to go faster. Because she was starting to feel frustrated, she obliged. She switched from grinding down on him to bouncing, her knees and hips working overtime to not make a noise every time her ass cheeks met his thighs.

She's now moaning, leaning down to muffle her noises by his neck or breathe them directly into his ear. Fred's eyes roll to the back of his head every time, and his hands grab onto the fat of her hips to help her.

"I-" She gasps, pushing herself upwards, clamping down on him tightly before forcing deep thrusts with her movement. "I'm gonna cum." She whimpers, and her legs begin to shake and fail her. Fred let out a loud breath that turned into a whimper before pushing himself up and, with a tight hold of her hips, forced her up and down his cock.

"Wa- wanna feel you. Wanna feel you gush around me. Give it to me, please." He whines, his words muffled into her temple, his eyes closed as her walls flutter around him, her body shivering against him and her lips part in long whines. One of his hands sneaked in between them, and his thumb drew quick circles around her clit, just enough to electrify her over the edge.

She freezes up, squeezes down on him and Fred is gone. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly down on him, the repeated squeeze of her walls stimulated him over the edge and they were shaking through their highs together. Her hands were buried in his hair, his hands holding onto her hips, while their lips interlocked in an overflowing kiss.

A few seconds later, their mouths parted as they gasped for air, holding onto one another as their highs dwindled. He traced random shapes on her bare back while she scratched at his scalp in a way she knew he loved.

He was the first to pull back, looking up at her with nothing but love and adoration. He tilts his head and grins, "Do you still want to go down for dinner?"

She laughs, heartily and loudly out of his arms and back onto the bed. "If you'll be going downstairs for a plate, get me one with you. There's no way I can look your mum in the eye after this."

#fred weasley #weasley twins #bill weasley #george weasley #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley x fem!reader #plus sized reader #harry potter #hp fandom #hp fanfic

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vex91 · 4 months

Text

Ahn Yujin - Attractive neighbor

Pairing: Ahn Yujin x Female Reader (Non Idol AU)

Fandom: IZ*ONE / IVE

Requested by: Anonymous

Request: more yujinnn pls 💙

Summary: After your best friend's nagging, you decided to move out of your hometown and into the city she lived in. There you found out that the apartment she found for you was next to the very attractive woman.

Warning(s): Smut, 18+ content, G!P Yujin, Blowjob, I don't know what else to add except for just fucking

A/N: Thanks for requesting, I hope it's alright that I made it G!P❤

3rd's POV

Ever since your best friend Wonyoung moved to Seoul she couldn't stop talking about how she would love you to also move so you guys wouldn't be so far away from each other. You weren't into the idea much at first but since you didn't had any other plans to move somewhere else you decided to move there. You applied to College and got in so the last thing left for you was to actually move your stuff to your new apartment.

You didn't know how the house looked like since Wonyoung was the one who got it for you, she assured you that it was a very nice place with friendly neighbors around and that you didn't had anything to worry about. You trusted her, you had no reason not to. When you go to the house Wonyoung was already there to help you move your stuff inside.

"Y/N I'm so happy to finally see you, it feels like we didn't saw each other in years" Wonyoung hugged you tightly as you chuckled "Wony I visited you a month ago" You hugged her back "Well that's a long time okay? I missed you" She moved away from you and started walking to your car "I'll help you carry these" Wonyoung said as she took one of the many boxes you had in your car. You watched her as she took it inside before you started doing the same. Around 5 minutes later when you were about to take another box, a woman came up to you. She was much taller than you. She was wearing a white crop top and grey sweatpants.

"Hi, you're the one moving in right? I'm Yujin, I'm living right in front of you" She said shaking your hand with a smile "It's nice to mee you, I'm Y/N" You introduced yourself as you both stared at each other. You noticed how she bit her lip lightly but before you could give it another thought, Wonyoung came up to you and introduced herself to her. The three of you had a small conversation before Yujin suggested to help with moving the rest of your stuff in and with her help moving stuff was easier and faster.

When Yujin left, you immediately turned to Wonyoung "You never told me that such an attractive woman was living right in front of me" You said and Wonyoung chuckled at your state "Well you never asked me but don't worry, you'll be fine. Maybe you even manage to finally get laid" You blushed at her comment, feeling embarrassed "Wonyoung?!" "Okay okay, I'm just joking" She patted your back. Despite her just joking you couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day, Yujin stayed glued in your mind no matter how much you tried to think about something else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few months passed. You and Yujin got closer due to the fact that both of you attended the same College. At some point Yujin suggested to help you with your material which caused her to come over to your house a lot more and as a way to thank her for her help you often made her stay for dinner. It happened so often that it was normal for you to prepare her favorite dishes a lot despite her reassurance that she'll eat anything that you'll make.

She was sweet ever since you two met and you couldn't help but feel attracted to her really quickly, she was the embodiment of everything you loved and she seemed to know it as she gladly reciprocated the feelings. She was also attracted to you from the start, hence why she immediately approached you when she first noticed you from her window as you were moving in. At that time she was just in a plain t-shirt and boxers, brushing her teeth as she looked out the window and not long after she was running around the house looking for her pants just so she could go and get to know you.

You had her in a chokehold from the start.

And that didn't changed, instead it grew and now her attraction was much bigger and much more intense. For a while now she wanted to get to know you on a more deeper level, where she could kiss you, hold you... touch you. She just needed you but she didn't wanted to seem pushy, especially since she wasn't sure what you thought about her and if you wanted the same. That's why she contacted your best friend to sneakily ask her some stuff and maybe find out if you wanted her.

"Oh Y/N? I'm not sure but honestly go for it. That girls needs to finally get laid"

Wonyoung's words made her a little more confident, especially when she also started noticing small signs that made it seem like you wanted it too and the perfect moment happened during one of your tutoring sessions. Yujin helped you understand some material for your class and just like always you made her stay for dinner.

"Thanks again for help Yujin, it would be really bad if I failed this class" You said taking her empty plate and going to wash it. Yujin observed you carefully "You're welcome, you know I'll always help you" She stood up and came over to where you were. You didn't noticed it immediately since you had your back turned to her, you only noticed her presence when she pressed herself against your back and helped you wash the dishes. The atmosphere completely changed, having her so close to you made you feel weak.

You could feel her breath on your neck as her smell enveloped you completely. You became aware of all of her moves, even her subtle grinding on your ass. You nearly let out a moan when you felt a bulge pressing against your ass. This whole situation made you crave her more and she seemed to notice it "You want it too huh? I knew you would" She smirked at the way you pressed herself harder against her. You looked so small in front of her and she enjoyed every moment of it. She turned you around and grinned at how flushed your cheeks were.

Her hands went lower as she kissed your neck and soon you could feel her hands working on unzipping your pants and getting them off, leaving you in nothing but your shirt. You moaned when she pressed her finger against your clit and massaged it "You're so wet and we didn't do much yet" She teased, her breath tickling your neck. You gripped her shirt tightly trying to keep yourself grounded but it was hard with the way she was touching you. She started going lower with her kisses and at some point the shirt started getting in her way "Arms up baby" You did as you were told and Yujin quickly took your shirt off, grinning at the sight before her "No bra huh? Like you were waiting for it to happen" You flushed at her words feeling embarrassed of how right she was but before you could even say anything she was already too busy kissing all over your chest, leaving marks whenever she could.

In all of that you didn't even noticed how your hands unzipped her pants and pumped her dick through her boxers. You only noticed when she stared whimpering in your ear. You smirked when you noticed her whole dominant demeanor crumbling from your touch and it was a perfect opportunity for you to fluster her back "Do you like that baby?" You smirked when she nodded silently, burying her face in the crook of your neck. Your hand sneaked under her boxers finally gripping her half hard erection and giving it a good squeeze making Yujin squeak. You enjoyed seeing the normally confident and daring girl crumbling so easily in front of you.

You pushed her back to the living room and made her sit on the couch as you sank to your knees. She helped pulling her pants and boxers down finally letting you see her dick that made your mouth fall open. You felt how big she was but seeing it with your own eyes made it look even bigger. She laughed at your expression "Too big for you love?" She was mocking you and you weren't gonna give her the satisfaction of it, especially when you knew how easy was to get control from her so you quickly wrapped your mouth around the tip of her cock and started slowly licking all over it. Yujin's eyes closed abruptly, her head threw back from the feeling of your warm tongue.

Her hand grabbed your hair and helped you bop your head up and down as moans and curse spilled from her mouth. Your mouth felt so good around her it drove her crazy and soon she came into your throat as you swallowed all of her cum. Right after you got on top of her and aligned her cock with your entrance before pushing in slowly. The new sensation took a while for you and Yujin to get used to but when you did you stared bouncing up and down on her cock. Despite having difficulties doing anything else due to how good you felt around her, Yujin started to play with your chest. She licked and sucked on them with occasional moans slipping her lips.

"G-God you feel so g-good" Yuji panted before changing position and laying you down as she started thrusting harder and faster into you. She could feel you scratching at her back due to the intensity of her thrusts but she couldn't feel bothered at that moment, not when your walls clenched around her as you came all over her cock and she followed soon after, releasing deep inside you. You moaned at the feeling as Yujin collapsed on top of you, not looking like she wanted to move anytime soon and truthfully you didn't mind it as you continued cuddling with her still deep inside you.

#vex writes #ive x reader #ive reactions #iz*one x reader #izone x reader #iz*one reactions #izone reactions #ahn yujin x reader #ahn yujin #ahn yujin smut #ive smut #smut

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xstarkillerx · 8 months

Note

PLEASE OMG!! I’m a slut for overstimulation so that idea you had about the squirting?!?!? I’ll be on the lookout on your page like an Amazon package I can’t wait to get 😭😭😭

I never really planned on fleshing that one out, to be honest, but because you liked it so much let me go grab what Indy and I said when we were talking about it! Pretty much all of this was prompted by indy saying brian was a squirt loving, pussy slapper which... it sent me on a Brian-fueled tirade of 5 minutes worth of voice memos lol

Nsfw under cut

But basically, what I pictured is sitting beween his legs on his bed (always the 2 fast 2 furious boat), with your back against him. He's shirtless and you're completely naked, skin damp with sweat and catching against his every time you try to slump down further. He's been touching you for hours.

The first time he makes you squirt, it doesn't even cross your mind to be embarrassed about the mess you just made in someone else's bed because he takes his wet hand, and pulls you in for a hungry kiss. It's in your hair, on your face, on your lips like he wants it all over you; he doesn't even break the kiss before he starts touching you again. Dripping and still sensetive he pinches your clit just to feel you yelp against his lips, he doesn't bother touching you slowly after that, he wants to hear you whine.

"Oh, I know, I'm sorry," he says, against your wet neck. " I had to, I had to." He's smiling against your skin, not an ounce apology in his voice, nor a trace of a promise that he won't do it again.

Gross, we called him, mess maker, a little cruel. He makes you cum twice before his pants even come off and he tells you it's because you're insatiable, because his dick just wouldn't be enough for you, would it? At this point your skin is hot, red, wet with sweat and squirt he's wiped all over you and you're slumped further down his body than you were an hour ago. Brian's leaving kisses at your temple, on your damp hair, down your cheek, to your ear, just admiring the giant puddle on the sheets before you.

"Want me to fuck you in the wet spot? Yeah, you want it, I know you do." To seal the deal he guides you to his hard dick to remind you he got you like this with his hands alone, massive, strong, calloused and sticky with your cum. Your muscles are spent, eyes half lidded, but eager to please, you nod.

It almost hurts, to feel your skin peel away from his with the way sweat has melded your bodies together. Brian positions you onto all fours, laughing, calling you "Bambi," under his breath with the way your limbs shake. It takes little more than a nudge to your shoulder to put you in prone, tits, stomach, face pressed against wet cotton. He puts himself on top of you and slides in so easily it makes your eyes roll back, he calls you "easy," and that puts a knot in your stomach. Maybe his big hand places itself at your neck and pushes your face further into the wet spot, just to be a little mean, just to see you get messier, hear you whine his name in complaint. It's his favourite sound in the world, you know.

"Briiiaaannn," cute and muffled with your own fucking wetness on your lips.

"Shut up, you like gettng messy," all boyish cockiness while he fucks in and out of you. "Letting me fuck you in your own mess, are you dirty baby? You dirty?"

All you can really bring yourself to do is whine, maybe reach back to paw at his bicep if you've still got it in you.

Hope you liked it! I tried to whip it into something with a little more shape than its original form, it was a half-baked horny concept at best, but Brian liking squirt is worth talking about.

#donnie does 👑#brian o'conner smut #brian o'conner hcs #brian o'conner headcanons #brian o'conner fic #fast & Furious #fast and furious

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stop-talking · 2 months

Text

So I'm stuck on this shithole island, and I can't even have a smoke? (pt. 5)

Derek Danforth x fem reader

Word count: 4k

Tags: 18+, Derek x fem reader, no use of y/n, angst, lots of fluff, enemies, enemies to lovers, fluff, (very) slowburn, sass, banter, misogynistic undertones, (Derek is a prick), suggestive themes, mentions of drug use, withdrawals, rehab, masturbating.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6

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To celebrate a week of sobriety, you decide to surprise Derek with a cake.

Of course, since there isn't exactly a bakery on a remote island, you had to bake it yourself.

Which you did. Last night. Now you stand in the kitchen, wondering how exactly you should decorate the damn thing.

And what to write on it?

"Congrats, maybe now you'll live past 40!" No, that's morbid.

"Bye-bye blunts and blow!" Too cringy.

"Happy one-week?" Hmm... that sounds like an anniversary thing.

Damnit. Maybe this isn't a situation that calls for cake after all. You sigh and continue to mumble random slogans to yourself as you slather the icing on nice and thick.

It looks a little messy, but you're not exactly a professional baker. Which is unfortunate, because that's probably exactly what he's used to. Oh well. It's the thought that counts, right?

You just want to show him how proud you are. He really has changed a lot over the past week, surprising you every day with how... normal he can be. When he wants to, at least.

Picking up a piping bag of green icing, you start placing decorative dollops around the edge of the cake. Some of them are a little lopsided, but it doesn't look too bad overall.

What now? You mindlessly lick some stray icing off your wrist and stare down at the gaping blank space in the middle of the cake.

Eventually, you settle on three words.

"Proud of you."

It's fitting. He has a lot to be proud of. Not just the sobriety stuff, but everything.

He's been picking up new skills every day. You smile as you tidy up the cake decorating mess strewn about the counter, thinking back to your first time cooking with Derek.

He'd been cocky and overconfident, and so utterly dumbfounded when that pancake met a splatter-y death on the stovetop.

And yet, he still got back up and tried again. After relentless pestering from you, obviously, but it still counted.

You stand back and survey your work. Cream colored icing, green lettering, and... okay, maybe the hearts were a bit much. Hopefully he didn't get the wrong idea. You're just... proud. That's all.

Now the only thing missing is Derek. He went upstairs an hour or so ago for a nap, mumbling something about a headache. Poor thing.

He's been so damn clingy lately, always touching you in some way or another. It seemed almost subconscious for him at times. A hand on your shoulder, his knee against yours, an arm around your waist... no matter what you were doing, he had to have physical contact.

You smile as you make your way upstairs to his room. Maybe today would be the day you finally give him a proper hug.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek is woken from his fitful sleep to the sound of you calling out his name.

Usually, that would be a welcome sound. You're always such a good distraction from his withdrawals.

But right now? He just wants to sleep. No, more than that. He wants to hibernate, to go into a goddamn coma and never have to wake up again.

"Can I have another twenty minutes?" He croaks, lifting his head from the mess of pillows to call out to you.

Apparently he can't, because he hears the door click open, and you peek your head in through the crack.

Derek just groans and buries his face back into the bed. His sheets and blankets are a tangled mess, and he's twisted himself into an awkward angle throughout his nap.

"Come on, It's been over an hour already." Derek can feel the bed shift as you take a seat on the edge.

"Well I'm still fuckin' exhausted." He mumbles into the pillow, not bothering to turn and look at you.

"Derek. You should know by now I'm not gonna let you rot in bed all day."

The almost sarcastic tone in your voice is what finally breaks him. This week has been hell, and you're just mocking him.

He hasn't only given up drugs this week, but all of his servants and staff as well. It was one thing to help you with cooking, but yesterday you'd made him do laundry. LAUNDRY. What the fuck did he look like? A maid?

"Fuck off." He grumbles a little louder, pushing your hand away as you reach to play with his hair.

His sour attitude apparently doesn't deter you any, because he can hear you laughing at him. Derek grits his teeth and finally sits up, glaring at you.

"You're really fucking annoying, you know that? Always pissing me off."

The words leave his mouth before he can really think them through, and when he sees your smile fall he immediately regrets them.

Unfortunately, he's too tired, sick, and stubborn to take it all back. Even while his heart drops into his stomach, he continues to glare daggers at you.

"Alright... twenty more minutes." With that, you slide off his bed and quickly make your way to the door.

Fuck. As soon as the door closes, Derek is left in darkness, in more ways than one.

His stomach twists into knots and he can feel his chest grow heavy. He tries to scramble after you, but gets caught in the tangle of blankets and ends up falling to the floor instead.

God damn it. Why does he always have to be such a fuck up? You aren't annoying. You're the only thing keeping him sane right now, and he goes and pushes you away.

He collapses on the floor, sighing at the feeling of the cold hardwood against his cheek. A few tears roll down his face, and he laughs bitterly as a thought crosses his mind.

Your thighs make a much better pillow than the floor.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Twenty minutes later, you knock at Derek's door once more. He mumbles something incomprehensible, and you take that as permission to enter.

The sight in front of you makes you pause. What the hell is he doing? You flip the lights on just to make sure your eyes aren't playing tricks on you.

They aren't.

Derek Danforth lies on the floor next to his bed, groaning and blinking up at the harsh overhead light.

"Looks real comfortable down there." You tease, setting the glass of water you brought him on his bedside table before joining him on the floor.

He refuses to look at you, throwing his arm over his eyes and groaning.

"You need to eat. And drink. I brought you some water."

Derek stays quiet as you sit next to him and place a hand on his shoulder. His lips are pressed into a tight line, and he's still hiding behind his arm.

"Why are you so goddamn nice?" He finally groans.

"We've already had that talk."

"Okay, then why are you so goddamn nice even when I'm being a prick?"

You move his arm away from his face, and he doesn't fight it. When you finally get a look at him, it's obvious he's been crying.

Derek Danforth. Crying on his bedroom floor. That's a sight.

A sight that really breaks your heart, actually. His watery eyes threaten to make yours overflow as well, so you quickly wipe away his tears with the hem of your shirt.

"You think I expect you to go through three weeks of rehab and not be a prick sometimes?"

Derek actually chuckles at that, and finally meets your gaze. He looks absolutely wrecked.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier."

"I know."

You scoot a little closer, and gently tug at him. He takes the hint, placing his head on your lap with his cheek against your thigh.

Neither of you talk for a few minutes. He just closes his eyes and sighs as you play with his hair. Over the past week, you've learned what he likes. Tug at his curls in just the right way, and he...

Derek lets out a soft whimper and you smile. There it is.

"Wanna make it up to me?" You tease.

He glances up at you, an eager look in his eyes.

"How?"

"Get rid of this." You laugh and trail a finger along his jawline, feeling at his overgrown stubble. He most likely hasn't shaved since arriving here a week ago.

"What? You don't like it?"

"Do you?"

"..."

Derek pouts, pushing your hand away and feeling at it himself. His brow furrows adorably as he considers your words.

"It looks manly."

"There's a difference between manly and cave-man-ly."

He scoffs at that, but when you start poking and prodding at his face where his stubble has grown out, he cracks a smile.

"Fine, fine. You win. I'll shave."

He swats your intrusive hands away, then sits up and stretches.

Now that he's up and moving, you decide it's time to go. On your way out the door, you hesitate, remembering the reason you came to get him in the first place.

"Oh, don't take too long. I have a surprise waiting for you downstairs."

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Derek stares at himself in the bathroom mirror, feeling at his stubble. You're right, he does look better with a trim.

He knows he should head downstairs, but his heart is beating a million times a second, and not even from withdrawals.

That little comment about a surprise? God damnit. You're teasing him. You have to be. How could you say something like that and not expect him to get excited?

Derek sighs and tucks his boner into the waistband of his boxers, then looks at himself in the mirror one more time to make sure it isn't noticeable. It's not... mostly.

Damnit. He could probably take a few minutes and rub one out, but he'd absolutely die of embarrassment if you walked in on him AGAIN.

He groans and turns to leave. Oh well. It's hidden well enough, and you'd already seen worse. Plus... maybe if this surprise is anything like his fantasies, he'd have an opportunity to use it.

"Oh, wait wait wait!" You scramble over to him as he trudges downstairs, keeping him from entering the living room.

"Are you gonna tell me what my surprise is?"

"No! Then it wouldn't be a surprise at all. Close your eyes."

Derek does as instructed, shutting his eyes tight. When feels you grab his hand and start to tug him along, he can't help but sneak a peek.

"I swear... if your Idea of a surprise is to walk me into a wall-"

"Oh, shut it." You scoff and clap your free hand over his eyes.

"Just trust me. And no peeking."

Derek grumbles, but he does trust you. A lot more than he lets on. So, he blindly stumbles along as you lead him into the... kitchen? Yeah, he's pretty sure he's in the kitchen.

"Okay, you can look." You uncover his eyes, but keep a tight hold on his hand as you beam at him.

"What do you think?"

What does he think?

Derek chokes up at the sight before him, and has to turn his head so you don't see the way his eyes are watering again.

A cake. You baked him a fucking cake to say you're proud of him. And he called you annoying.

"It's to celebrate being a week sober." You explain, leaning over to try and catch a glimpse of his face.

He squeezes your hand tightly, but can't get any words out.

"A week." He whispers, blinking back tears. Fuck, has it been a week already? It feels like hardly a day has passed.

"Oh, love. C'mere."

Derek lets himself be pulled into your arms. He groans from your touch, melting into the embrace and burying his face in your neck.

God, this is perfect. He's wanted to be held like this for so long, but now that it's finally happening... he can't help but feel guilty.

"I'm such an ass." He mumbles into your neck, lips pressed to your skin.

"Not always." You laugh softly and pull him a little closer.

Too close. He can feel your breasts pressing against him... fuck. Any closer and you might be able to feel what he has tucked away.

"Not always?" Derek scoffs, pulling back just enough to look you in the eyes.

"Is that really the best you've got to make me feel better?"

"What? You want me to lie?"

"Maybe."

He stares into your eyes, heart pounding in his chest as he suddenly realizes just how close you are. It takes everything in him not to lean in and bridge the few inch gap between the two of you.

"You look nice like this."

Derek can feel his face heating up as you cup his face with a hand. Shit, If you don't stop soon he might actually just kiss you.

"Like what?" He asks breathlessly, mesmerized by your touch.

"With a trim." You smile and run your thumb along his his stubble, eyes trailing from his jaw to his lips.

For a second, Derek is sure you're going to kiss him. He tilts his head ever so slightly in anticipation, and his eyes flutter shut.

"So... you want a piece of cake?" You clear your throat, suddenly dropping your arms and breaking the embrace.

Of course you weren't going to kiss him. Derek gives you a half-hearted smile and nods, trying to hide just how crushed he feels.

"Yeah, sure. Cake."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

"No, love, you're supposed to do the edge pieces first."

You chuckle as Derek angrily fumbles with two puzzle pieces. They quite obviously don't match, but he's trying to force them together anyways.

"Sorry, I wasn't aware puzzles had rules." He scoffs, dramatically tossing the little cardboard chunks across the table.

You'd dragged him out to the porch for a little fresh air, since he insisted he was too tired to make the five minute walk down to the beach.

"Well, they do. The biggest rule is don't throw the puzzle pieces, or you'll lose them." You laugh and continue flipping pieces over so they're facing upwards.

It hasn't been very long since you started the puzzle, and Derek already looks bored.

"Is this supposed to be fun?" He grumbles, helping you flip over pieces with one hand, the other finding it's way to rest on top of yours.

You wonder if he even notices he's doing it again. Touching you like that. You've gotten used to it by now, and usually just let it happen.

"Oh, come on. You gonna let a puzzle get the best of you, Danforth? A child could do this."

Derek makes a face and gestures to the sea of little cardboard scraps scattered across the table.

"A child could do a one thousand piece puzzle?" He scoffs.

"Okay, maybe not..." You laugh and adjust your hand, intertwining your fingers with his.

"But I'm sure you can do it."

Derek's face flushes pink, and you aren't sure whether its from the praise or the way you're so casually holding his hand. Probably both. But so what if you're holding his hand? He's the one who started it.

He just mumbles something under his breath and looks back down at the table, suddenly very motivated to help you pick through the pieces.

His hand doesn't leave yours.

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek wakes up from a deep sleep to the sound of your voice and the feeling of your nails gently scratching his scalp.

He gasps and tries to sit up, but finds he's stuck.

Er, not stuck, just... underneath you?

"Come on, love. You slept through nearly the whole movie." You laugh softly and start to nudge him off your lap.

Derek finally remembers what's going on, and pulls his arm out from under you. Apparently he'd tucked it beneath your knees while he slept, because he sure didn't remember doing it.

"Told you a chick flick would put me to sleep." He mumbles, fumbling to sit up. He finds his other arm is also stuck, wedged in between your waist and the couch.

"Sure made yourself comfortable, huh?" You tease, scooting forward and freeing him.

"Shut up." Derek reluctantly pulls away from you, sitting up and looking at you with a dazed expression. He wipes the drool from the corner of his mouth and groans. That really was a good nap.

"It's just so easy to fall asleep on you." The words come out before he can really think over them, and he freezes in embarrassment. Thankfully, you seem to take it in a different way than he meant it.

"Oh, am I that boring? I put you to sleep?"

"Exactly. I'm yawning already." He teases, letting out an exaggerated yawn that only earns him an elbow to the ribs.

"Hmph. Next time you can fall asleep somewhere else."

"But you're so damn comfortable." He whines, scrambling after you as you make your way upstairs. You can't leave him yet. You just can't.

"Well, your bed is plenty comfortable as well. Go to sleep."

Derek is suddenly struck with a thought, and takes your hand before you can slip away into your room for the night.

"What if..." He starts, placing his other hand on your hip and pulling you a little closer.

"What if I don't want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

You give him an incredulous look, and Derek can hardly believe the words that just came out of his mouth. Fuck, you're going to reject him. He just knows it.

"My bed?" You ask, raising an eyebrow and looking down at the way his hand is gripping your hip.

Derek can hear his heart pounding in his ears. He's being WAY too forward, and probably seems like a creep. Damnit.

"I... I just won't be able to sleep without you. I know it." He stutters, stumbling over his words. It's the truth, though. The only time he's been able to sleep peacefully lately is when he's touching you.

"Derek, love..." You chuckle and start to brush his hands away, taking a step back.

Fuck. He needs to show you how serious he is about this.

"Please? Just for tonight?" He grabs both of your hands, intertwining your fingers with his as he meets your gaze. You said he has puppy-eyes or something, right? Derek does his best to look pitiful.

It's not hard to do. He really does feel pitiful in this moment, begging you so blatantly. He might as well get on his fucking knees.

"Fine." You finally relent, groaning and gently shoving Derek aside as you head into your bedroom.

"But I hope you know I kick in my sleep."

"I don't mind taking that risk."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

After quickly getting ready for bed, you settle down under the covers while Derek stands awkwardly to the side.

"Well? You gonna join me?" You ask, patting the spot next to you.

God, how did you get roped into this? Him and those damn puppy eyes. He's so hard to say no to.

"Oh, uh, yeah." Derek scrambles to climb into bed beside you. He looks like he's having just as much trouble believing what's happening.

"Sleeping with you wasn't really in my job description, you know. I'm complaining to your mother after this."

"Please don't." He groans, squirming and getting comfortable under the shared blanket. He keeps his distance, seeming content just to be in the same bed as you.

"You gonna sleep in that?" You lift the blanket to peek at his outfit, a simple t-shirt and sweatpants.

"Yeah? What's wrong with it?" He pouts and tugs the blanket back down, acting self-conscious.

"Nothing, just... You aren't going to be hot?"

"Are you trying to get me to take my pants off, sweetheart?"

"God, no. I've seen enough of that."

Your teasing clearly gets to him, because he rolls over to face away from you, grumbling. You swear his ears are a little pink. Is he blushing?

"Oh, love. I'm just messing with you." You scoot a little closer to him, and put a hand on his waist.

"I know." He whispers, breath hitched.

"Is it okay if I do this?"

He groans when you get even closer, spooning him from behind. Your arm wraps around his waist and you press your entire body against his.

"M-maybe I will get hot..." He mumbles, but makes no effort to push you away. Instead, he completely melts under your touch, relaxing against the pillow.

"Keep your pants on, Danforth."

"Yes ma'am."

・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・・・・・・○・

Derek has been in bed with you for what feels like hours, (though really only around half of one), and he still can't believe what's happening.

Your arm is around his waist, holding him tight while the rest of your body is pressed up against him. He can feel your breasts pressing into his back, and your lips on his neck.

He almost wishes you'd kiss him, but that would probably send him over the edge.

And God, is he dangerously close to the edge right now.

His heart is pounding, heartbeat in synch with the throbbing in his pants. He's been hard ever since you cuddled up to him, but no way in hell is he going to ask you to stop. Not ever. Even if it kills him.

Scratch that. It is going to kill him. Derek can't help but let out a whimper as his dick twitches in his sweatpants.

Fuck. Your hand is right there, on his stomach. If you'd just slide it down a little...

"What's wrong?" You mumble, giving him a tight squeeze and nuzzling against the back of his neck.

"O-oh. Just... headache... Don't feel good..."

He feels like a total prick for lying to you, but what is he supposed to say? Yeah, totally fine, just horny as fuck? He'd rather die.

"Aww... I've got you, love."

Derek's breath hitches as you throw your leg over him. He can feel your thigh pressed up against his side, and the way you squeeze him feels heavenly.

He whimpers again, and starts to squirm slightly in your grasp. Fuck, if you keep this up he's not going to be able to control himself.

You continue to gently squeeze, rub, and cuddle him, whispering words of comfort with your lips pressed against the back of his neck. He can feel your hot breath on him, your breasts against his back, your hand on his stomach, your leg wrapped around his...

He can feel everything. And it's driving him insane.

Okay, okay, fuck. He can fix this. He just needs a quick release. That's all.

Derek starts to form a plan in his head, fueled by desperation and lust. Once he's mostly sure you're asleep, he slips his hand down into his boxers.

Biting back a moan, he slowly starts to jerk himself off. Painfully slow. He can't risk waking you up.

It's so fucking hard to not go faster, or move, or make a sound. Fuck, it's just so hard. Period.

He didn't really think this through, huh? Asking to sleep in your bed. Next time he'll jerk off first. If there is a next time. Damnit. If you catch him like this, you'll never speak to him again. He's sure.

Trembling, he accidentally lets a small whine slip out. Even with the absolute minimum amount of stimulation, he's close to finishing.

"Hnngh... Derek? You okay?"

Fuck. You're awake.

"Huh? Yeah, just... nightmare..." He chokes the words out, hand still wrapped around his cock as he slowly milks out a steady trickle of precum.

"It's okay." You whisper, holding him even tighter. "I'm right here."

Yeah, and that's the his damn problem. Your words and touch send him spiraling over the edge, and he bites his lip with nearly enough force to draw blood as he comes in his sweatpants.

It's not the most satisfying orgasm, seeing as he could barely touch it... but it still feels so much better than being that fucking horny with no release.

"Thank you..." Derek groans, praying that you don't ever discover the double meaning behind his words.

He had originally planned to sneak away and clean himself up, but with the way you're clinging to him...

Fuck. Guess he's sleeping in wet sweatpants.

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Author's note: Oh my goddd, sorry for such a long wait on this chapter!!! I've been wanting to write this scene FOREVER, but I also wanted to get it right!!

I love putting Derek in uncomfortable situations. Not sorry.

Also its crazy to me that I've written 16 thousand words of fanfic for a character that had 20 minutes of screen time and then fucking DIED 💀

Anyways... expect the next chapter in 2-3 days. Thanks for all the love and support!!!

Part 6

#josh hutcherson #jhutch #jhutch1992 #derek danforth #josh hutcherson x reader #derek danforth x reader #josh hutcherson x you #derek danforth x you #derek danforth smut #josh hutcherson smut #josh hutcherson fanfic #fluff and angst #slowburn fic

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spicy-raven · 9 months

Text

Wait

NSFW Jake Lockley x f!reader

Summary:

You just couldn't wait for Jake to come home, and now you face the consequences.

Contents/Warnings: Top!Jake, Toys (vibrator), Voyeurism, Masturbation, Cock Warming, Overstimulation, Implied Aftercare, Established Relationship, My rusty writing deserves a warning I apologize in advance, also its my first time writing smut

You sigh and lean back on the couch in frustration. You look back at your phone to reread the text again.

"Be home soon amor, wait for me ;)" sent just over an hour ago.

You know he gets busy, and you don't blame him at all, but after reading suggestive texts from him all day you were starting to get impatient. How long was he going to be?

At this point you have already taken a shower, changed into his favorite lacy underwear hidden by a silky robe, dimmed the lights, and lit one of your favorite scented candles. Now you were just waiting, rereading his text for the millionth time.

"wait for me" you want to be waiting to greet him, too see his eyes look you over like a starved man being offered a feast, but you aren't sure how much longer you'll have to wait for. Depending on how busy he is, you could be waiting as short as 5 minutes or as long as another hour.

You get up from the couch and walk into the bedroom and over to the nightstand on your side of the bed. You open the bottom drawer and stare at the small silicone vibrator that greeted you. Honestly, you haven't needed to use it in years for....obvious reasons, but you kept it charged for a rainy day. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? You could be quick and still be there to greet him.

You grab the vibrator from the drawer, placing it on the bed. You lay down, opening the robe you were wearing before opening your legs and sliding your hand down the lacy underwear. You were still a little wet with arousal, but not as much after waiting for Jake for so long. You gently feel between the folds of your pussy, teasing your clit as you build yourself back up, getting more and more wet. You insert one of your fingers while rubbing your clit with your thumb, humming at the sensations. Your hand isn't enough, the pleasure was building but the fingers just aren't Jake's. You quickly pull your hand away to grab the vibrator, wetting it with your juices before bringing it down to your pussy.

You don't turn it on initially, rubbing it up and down your cunt to tease yourself. You then hold the toy over your clit and press the on button. The sudden sensations making you tense up and gasp. Your eyes flutter shut and you think of Jake and what he could have had planned if he didn't make you wait so late. You moan grinding your hips slightly into the toy, letting it tease your hole before bringing it back up to your clit. You can feel the tension building in all of your muscles as you whimper, your hand not daring to move the toy away and stop the pleasure building in you. You could feel your orgasm building, moaning and whimpering as you chase for it.

"Well, someone just couldn't wait"

The voice felt like a splash of cold water, your legs instinctively closing as you look up to see Jake in the doorway of the bedroom. The only sound left in the room was the buzzing of the vibrator that had yet to be turned off. Your face grows red, turning off the vibrator as Jake eyes the lacy underwear hiding his full view of what you were doing only moments ago.

Your voice was barely a whisper as you tried to speak. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"No, by all means keep going. You seem to be handling yourself just fine." You hesitate, unmoving as he walks closer to the bed. "Keep. Going." he emphasizes, his eyes never leaving you.

You carefully relax back onto the bed, opening your legs again. Jake then reaches forward, grabbing the waistband of the lacy underwear and pulling them down and off of you, tossing them aside before continuing to watch you. You slowly start rubbing the vibrator along your cunt again before turning it back on, a whimper making it's way out of your mouth. Jake's eyes never leave you as he begins untying his tie and unbuttoning his shirt, pulling them off his shoulders. His face is unreadable, but the bulge in his pants and his breathing picking up told you everything you need to know as you relax fully.

"I want to see you cum on that piece of fucking plastic since you seem to like it so much" his words sent shivers through you, no doubt goosebumps visibly forming on your body but you don't care enough to check. Pleasure raked through your body in waves, pulling you under. Your muscles tensing up again, the familiar feeling of your orgasm building back up in your stomach. Your free hand reaches for Jake, but he stays standing just far away enough to stay out of your reach as he undoes the buckle on his belt and undoes his pants. He pulls them down together and kicks them away as he continues to watch you.

Your orgasm unexpectedly floods your senses. Your back arching slightly off the bed with a moan, your toes curling, your free hand that was reaching for him now slamming down on the bed to grab at the sheets.

"Bien, that's it" Jake softly praises.

Your moans turn into whimpers and you come down from your high. You quickly turn off the toy and move it away as the sensations become too much and your breathing begins to steady.

"So you do know how to listen after all" Jake says, a smirk forming on his lips as he finally crawls onto the bed towards you. Your hands immediately meet his skin, running up his arms and onto his shoulders and chest as he reaches you with a desperate and heated kiss. One of your hands moves to rub his cock over the fabric of his boxers, making him groan into your lips before pulling away.

"Already desperate for my cock? I thought the toy was enough, no?" he says with a chuckle when he hears you whine in frustration. He quickly pulls down his boxers, freeing his fully hardened cock.

He doesn't waste any time as he lines himself up with your pussy, both of you moaning as he slowly thrusts into you. He's careful, and watches you to make sure your comfortable and adjusted. You nod and that's all the confirmation he needs as he slowly moves out of you and pushing back in, a groan escaping his throat. He slowly builds up a steady pace, thrusting hard into you when he pauses, his cock settled deep in you. He thinks for a moment before a smirk forms on his face again, quickly searching the bed. He finally finds the vibrator within the pile of sheets. Turning it on and pressing it to your clit making you moan and whimper from all the sensations. Jake then leans forward, lips coming close to your ear.

"I'm going to show you how easy it is to wait, I'm not going to move until you cum on my cock from this thing" he whispers, holding the vibrator down on your clit to emphasize his point.

"Jake please-" you start to grind your hips into him, trying to get some sort of movement. One hand holds your hips down while the other keeps the vibrator firmly pressed to your clit. You can tell Jake can feel some of the vibrations too as his softly grunts at the feeling.

"I'm not going to fucking move until you cum on this cock" he says, remaining completely still and buried in your wet cunt. "You're gonna see how good it feels when you learn how to wait"

The vibrations mixed with the feeling of being absolutely full were heavenly. Jake kept you from moving your hips into him as pleasure consumed you. Jake hummed and groaned at the feeling of your cunt fluttering and pulsing around him mixed with the vibrations. You were so sensitive it didn't take long for him to feel you getting close again. You moaned as you got closer and closer to your high.

"Please, please Jake, please-" you begged. You don't even know what you're pleading for anymore but it didn't matter as your second orgasm flooded over you, making your pussy tighten around Jake's cock.

Right in that moment Jake started moving, pounding into you. The sounds of the toy mixed with skin slapping together filled the room, dragging the orgasm out as long as it would go. The vibrator was starting to get to Jake too so it doesn't take long for his body to tense up as he cums into you with a moan.

You both slowly come down from your highs, Jake turning off the vibrator and tossing it onto the bed. Both of you pause to catch your breath before Jake moves off of you, watching his cum fall from your pussy. He then walks over to the bathroom to grab a towel, wetting it with warm water.

"We should use that piece of plastic more often" Jake says with a chuckle

~~~

Thanks again to @melodygatesauthor for unlocking my inner slut and inspiring me enough to actually get around to writing this!

#jake lockley #jake lockely smut #moon knight #smut #marvel #mcu #oscar isaac #moon knight smut #jake lockley fanfiction #jake lockley x you #moon knight fic #jake lockley x reader #idk how to tag lol #first smut #first writing

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ellies-little-thing · 4 months

Text

Want you back (e.w.)

*not my images, but i edited them

My masterlist <3

pairing: modern!ellie / fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW; angst; fluf; smut; reader is referred to as she/her; reader has a vagina; cheatting; drinking; use of marijuana; strap!usage reader!receaving; cunilingus; mature content; very explicit; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! i had a blast writing this one! I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy!

word count: 21.6k

Inspired by this 5SOS song <3

MEN AND MINORS DNI! ( I'll find you, and ill kill you. So... )

You and Ellie broke up a few months ago. You dated for almost half a year before she cheated on you. She was the one who broke up with you though. She had never told you why she had done it. You tried to forget about it but it was really hard. Because of the break up, you haven’t felt like yourself. The depression was kicking in and your friends were starting to get worried about you.

You haven’t really gone out, met other girls or anything for a while, so when your friends drag you to a frat party, you hesitate if you should go. But when you get to the party. You see her. Ellie. She’s talking to some girl, but then she sees you. She has the girl under her arm as she's drinking. She was wearing her usual go-to outfit, a wife beater with ripped skinny jeans and her black converse with her hair in a half bun.

You try to ignore her and keep talking to your friends. As you turn away from her, you can feel her stare. It’s piercing through you, but you keep ignoring her, that is until she walks over to you and taps on your shoulder. You look back, a bit annoyed, already knowing it is her. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” She asks, but her voice hints more at an order than a question.

You roll your eyes, but go with her into a more private place and with less noise. She leads you away from the party to some random hallway. You don't know why you keep letting yourself into these situations again and again. She waits until you’re both alone before she begins to talk. “Look, it’s been a few months since the breakup and I think we need to talk.” She says as she crosses her arms and looks you straight in the eye.

“About what?” You ask crossing your arms as well, getting uncomfortable from being this close to her again after so long.

“About the breakup.” She says as she walks closer to you. “We were together for so long, I feel like just breaking up was a mistake.” She says as she comes up to you. “I think we need to get back together.” You’re speechless. All this time thinking she hates you, but in reality she misses you. She wanted you back.

“You were the one who cheated, not me.” You say bluntly, looking at her.

A wave of embarrassment washes over her face, as she looks down at the ground.

“I know.” She says as she looks back up at you. “But I miss you, I realized no one else makes me feel like you make me feel.” You could smell the alcohol from her breath.

“I'm tired Ellie.” You say uncrossing your arms and leaning against the wall. Ellie frowns a little and looks at the ground for a few moments. After a bit, she looks right into your eyes. “Please just give me another chance.” She says as she looks desperate and a little heartbroken.

“Why should I?” You ask her, getting angry now.

“Because I love you.” Ellie says as she steps closer to you, so you can feel the warmth of her body. “I made a mistake, okay? But I can’t imagine being with anyone else. Please just give me another chance.” She says as she stands mere inches from you. She smells of her cologne you missed so much, but there is something else. She smells of pot. By the way she slurs her words you realize she's probably high as well.

“You were just now having loads of fun with that girl you were with…” You say crossing your arms again and looking at her annoyed, trying to get some distance between you.

“She’s just a friend.” Ellie says as she looks away from you, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I wasn’t really having fun. I would much rather be here, with you.” She leans in closer to you until you can feel her warm breath on your neck. “Come on…” She says as she looks at you with teary eyes. “We were so good together.” She speaks in a low and raspy tone knowing how it affects you.

You stay still, looking at her with your arms crossed as she speaks. Ellie notices your body language and looks at you with worry. You aren't reacting like you used to. “Please don’t stay angry, just give me another chance.” She repeats. Her voice sounded more pleading and desperate instead of angry. She leans in closer again until she’s practically pressed up against you. She places a gentle hand on the side of your face, as she looks you directly in the eyes. “Please, my sweetheart.” She whispers.

“I'm your sweetheart now?” You ask with a “are you serious” vibe.

“Always have been.” She says as she looks directly into your eyes without blinking. She places her other hand on the back of your head and begins to stroke your hair. She’s practically right on top of you, pressing herself as close to you as possible, so you can feel her body against yours. “Please babe, just give me another chance...” She whispers in your ear.

You melted when she called you ‘babe’, that's what she would always call you before. You can't really get away since she backed you into the wall. “You're drunk Ellie...” You look away from her face trying to hide your blush.

“Just give me another chance...” She repeats, her voice still pleading and desperate as her hands are starting to move, caressing your body. She looks at you, her cheeks are red with embarrassment, her eyes glazed with sadness and longing. “Please, I’ll do anything to make this up to you.” She whispers as she kisses you gently on the cheek and then on your neck. You can feel your body starting to give in to her touch but you try to resist her. You feel her giving you some more kisses as her hands start to go into more intimate areas. She grabs your ass and gives it a good squeeze. You can feel your panties starting to get wet. You forgot how good she could make you feel. As her hand starts going up, under your dress, you realize what she really wants and you stop her.

“Ellie stop.” You say as you feel her kisses on your skin. You missed her and they felt good but she was drunk. She didn't mean anything she had just said. She just wanted to fuck you. Ellie stops kissing you and leans away from you just enough for her lips to be off of you, but she is still close so that she’s pressed up against you. She looks you in the eyes. Her breath heavy from her kissing and you can feel her chest slowly rising and falling. She still looks at you with a pleading look. Just waiting for you to say something. She grabs you by your waist as the other hand still travels under your skirt, looking at your lips. You get away from her grasp. “You don't just get to do that and think I'll come running back into your arms.” You look at her with a bit of anger in your eyes as you pull your dress down. Ellie looks at you as if you just stabbed her right in the heart. She slowly shakes her head at you and sighs. She crosses her arms over her chest and she looks down at the ground. She stays like this for a few seconds before finally speaking. “I understand. I just wanted you back, but I guess I can't make things right.”

“If you weren't drunk every time you tried that, maybe i'd believe you.” You say with a sadness in your voice. Her heart skips a beat when she hears the sadness in your voice. But she doesn’t allow the thought of her hurting and disappointing you to distract her. Because she has to be strong. So she keeps her gaze at the floor and responds: “Yeah, you’re right.” She sighs and lets her eyes travel around the floor, before they rest on her feet for a few seconds. “Good night Ellie, have fun with your date.” You say almost crying as you walk back to your friends. You move through the crowd still thinking about her.

The pain in her stomach grows exponentially as she sees you walk away from her. Without realizing it, she makes a fist as she stands there. She is angry at herself. She stays there for a few seconds, hoping that you’ll come back to her. Hoping that you’ll change your mind and give her another chance, but you never turn around. She just feels her whole world crumble apart. But instead of showing her sadness, she keeps the image of the tough girl she wants to be. She crosses her arms and sighs. “Goodbye.” She whispers.

You hear her but just continue walking. She stays there, trying to compose herself. But the disappointment and sadness from seeing that you didn’t look back is too much for her. She goes into the bathroom and locks the door and she just breaks down emotionally. She starts crying uncontrollably. You decided to go home, as it was getting really late. You say your goodbyes and start leaving the party. Ellie calmed herself down and came out, her mind going into a whirlwind. She was heartbroken and defeated. As you leave, she doesn’t even notice you or anything around her anymore. She just stands there next to the girl she was with again, staring at the void in her mind. She doesn’t speak or move. She just stands there.

You walk home and when you arrive you lay in bed sad, because of Ellie's behavior. As you lay down on your bed, your thoughts take over. You think about everything Ellie said and everything that happened at the party. Your heart hurts as you think about how she reacted.

You feel a mix of many different emotions: sadness, anger, frustration, and a little bit of hope. You can’t shake off the feeling that she’s being sincere when she says that she misses you. That she doesn’t want to be with anyone else, but she always had a new girl under her arm when you saw her. Your heart sinks again when you think about those girls. You don’t know why she always does that. She just acts like nothing happened between you two around other people. She acts like it didn’t mean anything to her. How can she act like this? Like you two never were together? Your thoughts and emotions are a whirlwind. You don’t know what to feel and even though your mind is racing, you feel tired.

She says she misses you but only talks to you when she's drunk or high, or both. The thought of her being drunk and high everytime she wants to talk to you is eating away at you.

She only approaches when she is not sober. She only talks to you when she is not in a sound mind. This realization makes you wonder, ‘Do these encounters have any real meaning?’ You’re in pain because you’re hoping that she actually misses you and these encounters have real meaning. You wish she came to you when she was sober and didn’t only talk to you when she was under the influence. You lie in your bed, trying to relax and trying to sleep. But you can’t shake off the feelings of sadness and disappointment that you still have. You try to keep your mind occupied, you try to tell yourself that you don’t need her, but you can’t hide the fact that your heart still hurts over the whole situation.

A few days later, you’re going about your life, but the thoughts of Ellie are still lingering in your mind. You feel like you can’t forget about her. It’s like something is missing in your life ever since she left. You try to fill that void with other people, but nothing really worked. You still think about her, and your thoughts always lead to sadness and longing. You tried talking to a girl for some time but you didn't really feel a connection. You’ve tried talking to other girls and going out a few times, but you didn’t really feel a connection with any of them either. They’re not like Ellie. They don’t give you that same type of happiness and excitement. They don’t make you feel the way Ellie did. You can’t help but feel disappointed every time you try to find someone new. Ellie always looked happy and content every time you saw her. She was never alone. Always with some random girl or with her friends that were a really bad influence on her. She missed you truly, and was sorry for what she put you through, but she was too proud to talk to you sober. She was too proud to even be seen talking to you altogether.

You are walking to class when you suddenly bump into someone. When you look up, you see Ellie. You’re shocked to see her. You don’t know what to say, so you just stare at her. Ellie is surprised to see you too, she also doesn’t know what to say. Both of you just stare at each other without saying anything, not sure what to do. You look away and continue walking. You don’t know what else to do. You don’t want to talk to her, but you’re also not sure how you would react if she came to talk to you. You can’t stop thinking about her, even though the whole interaction was only a few seconds. You feel disappointed with yourself because you couldn’t even have a conversation with her. You just walked away. Looking at her, only reminds you of the past relationship, a time where you were happy. But that’s all gone now. It hurts too much. She's gone, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You can only move on. But even after all this time, it still hurts. Every time you look at her, you remember how much you loved her. And it just hurts so much. She looks at you as you walk away. She watches you from afar with a look of sadness and pain on her face. You can tell she was wishing that you stayed and talked to her. That you gave her hope that things could change. But you didn’t. You walked away from her without even saying a word. She’s left with the pain of knowing that you’re not coming back.

Later that night, you receive a text message from Ellie. You look at it with curiosity, but you also feel afraid about what she could text you about. Maybe she’s texting you to yell at you for not talking to her. Or, maybe she will just tell you that she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You open the text message, not knowing what to expect. You read the text message from Ellie. “Can I talk to you? Like, right now?”

“Why? About what?” You respond, not really thinking it through.

She sends another text message. “Can you just come over so we can talk?” She seems desperate. She sounds like she’s feeling anxious too.

“Why should i? Just so you can hurt me some more?” You reply a few minutes later.

She replies quickly. She sounds really upset. “Please just come over. I really need to talk to you.”

You sigh and think for another few minutes. The thoughts of her hurting you again are going through your head. The sadness of the whole situation and the disappointment. You don’t want this whole situation to happen again. Yet, you also are filled with curiosity. What does she have to say?

“I'll be there in 30.” You respond, knowing this won’t go well.

About half an hour later, you’re at her house. You’ve been thinking about what she could have to say the whole walk there. She probably just wants to tell you that she wants nothing to do with you. Or something like that. Either way, you’re going to be hearing her say something disappointing again. You knock on the door. You’re a little nervous, but you’re expecting the worst, anyway. After a few seconds of waiting, the door opens. Ellie is standing behind the door staring at you. She hasn’t said a word. She is just staring at you, just like you are staring at her.

You stare at her in the eyes and for a few long seconds, none of you say a word. All you can think in your head is: “Just say something already, just get this over with.” Because you didn’t say anything, she stepped aside to let you come in. At this point you’re really starting to wish that you had just ignored her text. You’re starting to think that this whole thing might be a bigger deal than you thought. You step into her house and look around. Her house was always messy but this was more than messy, it was like a tornado went by. Cans of beer all over the counters, boxes of take out food, clothes everywhere. The silence between you two feels awkward and uncomfortable. You can’t stop thinking that your heart beats faster each time you think about what she wants to talk about.

You stand there waiting for her to say what she wanted to say. Ellie continues to stare at you with a pleading and sad look. For a few seconds, it feels like this moment will last forever. She still hasn’t said anything. She doesn’t explain why she wants to talk to you. But she just continues staring with that pleading look in her eyes. “Why did you want to talk to me?” You finally break the silence, asking this in an annoyed tone.

Ellie swallows and finally speaks: “I wanted to talk to you because…” She hesitates to continue speaking. It feels like she’s having a hard time getting her words out. But she knows she has to say something.

“I don't know why I came…” You whisper. Feeling disappointed in her and in yourself as well. She hears what you say and she looks down at her feet for a few seconds before she finally finds the courage. You watch in fascination as her cheeks get a little red and her body trembles slightly. “I…” She struggles to get her words out. She doesn’t know how to say it. So after a long pause, she suddenly blurts it out: “I miss you.”

“You always say that.” You look at her crossing your arms. She looks back at you with tears in her eyes now, she can barely look at you anymore. “I know, and I’m sorry. But I really missed you.” She sounds like she can’t believe you’re still there. She was so sure that you wouldn’t believe her, that you wouldn’t want anything to do with her anymore. She couldn’t stop wishing that you didn’t come. Because of how disappointed she is in herself. She is disappointed in herself that she hurt someone she genuinely loved.

You look at her and see her eyes are a bit red. She wipes away a few tears from her eyes and continues to look at you. You can see the sadness in her eyes. The sadness of someone who truly missed what you guys had. She can’t believe she threw it all away. She knows that everything she’s feeling, it’s her fault. She shouldn’t hurt people like this and she’s fully aware of it. Her heart hurts, because she knows she needs to do better. You look at the coffee table and at the blunt that she just put out on the ashtray. She looked at you and suddenly remembered that she’s not supposed to be smoking anymore. “It’s been tough on me... I miss you a lot and these cigs... they kinda help me, I guess.” You can hear the sadness in her voice. It’s like she’s asking you to understand. “I cant believe youre high again.” You pinch the bridge of your nose.

Her head jerks back a little and she raises her voice in defense when you accuse her of being high again. “I’m not high!” She says, but the way she says it makes her sound pretty guilty. She doesn’t want to admit it, but she’s not doing a very good job. Her eyes seem slightly hazy and the smell of pot is starting to linger in the air. You pick up your bag and start walking to the front door. You can't even look at her anymore. She watches as you do. She’s almost pleading with her eyes, hoping that you’d stay. She knows that she screwed up big time, and she’s desperate to fix it. She doesn’t know if you’ll forgive her and give her another chance. She’s just wishing that you’ll let her make it up to you. But you don’t stop walking and are about to leave.

You look at her one last time before opening the door. You can tell she wants you to say something. She wants you to turn around, she wants you to stay. But you don’t. You don’t say anything just like last time. You just leave, breaking this girl’s heart. She stares at the door for a few long seconds, hoping that you’ll return. That you wouldn’t leave her like this. But you do end up leaving and she is left alone, broken and hopeless. You close the door and start crying as you walk back home. The moment you close that door, you can feel something inside you break. You’re sad and heartbroken all over again. You cry the whole walk back home. The pain is overwhelming and it feels like your whole world is falling apart again. You don’t even remember crying this much when you two broke up. But that hurt in a different way, like she was tearing your heart out and throwing it away. Now, it feels like it hurts more because she cares about you still. That she really does want to fix what she threw away.

You get home and walk to your bedroom. You fall onto your bed, the thought of her weighing heavily on your mind. You lay down, thinking about everything that’s happened. You can’t stop thinking about how it seemed like she wanted to change, and yet, you gave her no chance. You didn’t take her invitation to fix things. The pain that you’re feeling is overwhelming, and you try not to cry. You hear your phone buzz and look at your screen. It’s a text message from Ellie. You pick it up and read it. “Please come back. We need to talk. I know I messed up and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I really want to fix this and make up for what I did. Please just give me a chance. I love you.”

“If you did, you wouldn't text me when you're high, again.” You know that she was high, but you keep thinking about the words. “I love you.” You know that she was high, but you could see sadness in her eyes when you were at her place. She actually wanted to make things right. Sure, you’re disappointed in her for being high yet again. But you still feel something in those words, like she actually means what she said.

“If you really want to talk, then you come over. I'm not going there again.” You think about what she says. She wants you to come to her. She doesn’t want to come to you. She’s asking you to put in the effort again. Never her. Maybe she’s too insecure to come and see you because she might be afraid of being rejected. She is afraid that you might turn her away again. Maybe this time she’s trying to show how much she really wants to fix this. Maybe she’s trying to prove that she actually loves you. She replies back with: “Fine, I’ll come to you.” Your heart starts beating faster, not only because she’s coming over, but also because she actually agreed to come to you. The thought is making you anxious and nervous. The thought of actually seeing her again scares you. You’re not sure how things will go, but part of you is hoping that they end well. You are sitting on the couch, anxiously waiting. For the next few seconds every noise you hear makes you jump, thinking it’s her. Your heart beats fast, your stomach is filled with butterflies. You can’t stop checking the time, feeling like every second an eternity.

You hear a knock on the door. Your heart suddenly starts beating even faster. Your body trembles slightly, and your mouth starts to dry. You get up and hesitantly walk over to the door. You twist the handle and open the door slowly. You see Ellie standing there. She’s staring at you with a look of remorse and sadness. You can tell she’s really nervous. You step out of the way and let her in. You walk back over to the couch and sit down, still feeling anxious and nervous. When she closes the door and comes inside, she walks over and sits next to you on the couch. She sits quite close, her arm almost touching yours. You just can't look at her, you just wait for her to talk. The silence between you two feels awkward and uncomfortable. You’re too nervous to look at her, you feel a wave of anxiety wash over you as you wait for her to speak. She’s sitting directly next to you, almost touching your arm with hers, and yet she’s quiet, waiting for you to be the one to start talking.

You scoot a bit further away from her, so you two are not so close anymore. She notices that you move away from her, but she doesn’t comment on it. Instead, she just stares at you, waiting for you to say something. Your lack of eye contact is making her feel insecure and nervous. She can feel the walls you built up between you two starting to rebuild higher and higher. The silence gets too much for her and she finally says something: “I’m so sorry for what I did... for hurting you like I did. I was being stupid, and I didn’t realize how much my actions would hurt you.” She sounds really remorseful and like she means every word of what she’s saying. She’s really taking accountability for her actions and seems genuinely sorry.

The fact that she finally took responsibility for her actions and is actually apologizing to you is making you feel really emotional. You can feel the tears forming in your eyes, but you still can’t look at her. She just told you how much she hurt you, but at the same time you’re reminded of how much you still care about her. “You treated me like shit.” You say as you start crying. Ellie looks away from you when you bring up the way she treated you. She knows that she deserves it and that she screwed up. “I know, I know I did. I’m sorry, I really am. I truly didn’t realize how much I hurt you. I was being stupid and selfish.”

“At least you're admitting it…” You say in a disappointed tone. She doesn’t even fight back. She doesn’t even try to justify what she did. She truly is taking responsibility for her actions. She knows she hurt you badly and is taking it all in. She is just hoping that you’ll forgive her eventually. “I know that I screwed up, and this might not mean much coming from me, but I just want to try again. I just want us to try and fix this.”

“I still don't understand why you started treating me that way.” You say with a trembling voice. Ellie looks at you, finally making eye contact, and tries to answer your question. “I guess... I guess the reason I started treating you that way was because I didn’t realize how much I valued our relationship. When I first broke up with you, I thought I wasn’t going to miss you or be hurt, but it hit me way harder than I expected it to. I know you still have every right to be frustrated with me, but I hope you can understand that I didn’t mean to hurt you that badly.”

“But the worst thing was when I found out you were cheating on me. I can't forgive that.” You say, reliving the moment when you found out in your head. Ellie looks away when you bring up the betrayal of the cheating. You can tell she truly feels bad about it. “I know... I know I really screwed up with that. And I get it if you can’t forgive me for that either. I guess... I don’t really want to make excuses, but I was just so lost in the world of partying and going out, that my thoughts weren’t very clear. I didn’t really think about anyone but myself, and I regret that decision more than you can imagine.”

Your tears immediately bring out a look of sadness and guilt from Ellie. As soon as she notices that you’re crying, she grabs your face. She wipes your tears with her thumbs and looks you in the eyes. “Please don’t cry, I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything to make things right between us. Just give me a chance.” You cover your face with your hands and continue to cry. She can’t stand to see you like this. She wipes away your tears again and pulls you into a hug. She holds you tightly, not letting go. “Please, please don’t cry... I know what I did was horrible, and I’m so sorry, but I’ll do anything to make this right. Just please tell me there’s still a chance for us.”

“I don't know, I have to think.” Ellie lets go of you when you say that. She seems like she finally realized the full gravity of her actions and how badly she messed up. She gets quiet, waiting for you to respond to her question. “Please, take your time. I don’t expect you to just forgive me immediately. Just, please let me try to fix this. I really do love you.”

“That's the hard part, because I really cared about you.” You say, still crying. She stares at you for a few seconds without saying anything, letting the silence linger between you two. She wants to say something but is not sure how to say it. Your words are hitting too close to home, and she’s really starting to feel bad and sad about everything that has happened. “I know, I know... I really did treat you terribly, and I never thought about how much you actually cared about me. I was so blinded by my selfishness that I didn’t realize how much I’d hurt you.” You look at her with tear filled eyes. She looks back at you with a look of pure sadness and remorse. She feels terrible for hurting you so badly. The fact that she did so much damage to you is eating her alive. You two are silent for a few moments and she continues to stare at you tearfully, wishing she had the ability to make everything right.

You hug your legs to your chest trying to find some comfort and calm your anxiety. She watches as you hug your legs, realizing that this is how she’s made you feel all this time. She has destroyed and hurt you so deeply and broke your trust. She’s made you feel like you can’t even take comfort in her. She tries to put a hand on your leg and comfort you but you pull your leg away instinctively, rejecting her. She can see by your reaction that you’re truly hurt and devastated. She’s really starting to regret everything. “I need time to think Ellie, can you please leave now?” You ask her, still crying. She stops trying to touch you, realizing that you aren’t ready to forgive her yet. Instead, she nods and looks down at the ground. She’s still feeling so much sadness and regret, but she respects your wishes. “Okay, I understand... I really do. Just... just take your time, and think about it... please.” She stands up and walks over to the door, pulling it open slowly.

You look at her as she walks. She looks back at you, wanting to make one last apology.

“I know you’re angry, and I get it. I really do. Just... just take it easy.” She takes one last look at you and then walks out, closing the door behind her. You start sobbing as soon as she walks out. It’s like everything is crashing down around you. You sit on the couch for a bit and keep sobbing. The pain you’re feeling is unbearable. Like you can’t function without her. Like you need her. You’ve been so hurt and betrayed by her, but that love is still there. You still love her. You decide to go to bed, and after a long day like this one, it’s not too hard to fall asleep. Your body is exhausted physically and mentally, you just want to sleep and pretend like everything is okay. You fall asleep soon after.

A few days pass, and you still can't seem to get her out of your mind. But you haven’t heard from her at all, and you don’t know what to think. You’ve been feeling depressed and lonely, not being able to stop thinking about her and the whole situation. You were at home after a long day of boring classes. Your phone buzzes in your pocket. And as you notice the vibration, you take it out of your pocket and see who has messaged you. It’s Ellie. “I know it’s only been a few days, but I’ve been thinking about what happened quite a bit. Can I come over and talk to you again?”

You take a few minutes to think about it and eventually decide to say yes. You message her back, saying, “Yes, you can come over, and we can talk.” You were watching TV when Ellie texted you. You start feeling more and more anxious and nervous, and you can’t even focus on the show you’re watching anymore. Your heart is beating faster, and you feel all the feelings from before, coming back in waves.

You hear a knock at your door and your stomach starts to flutter. You can tell that it’s Ellie because of how familiar her knock is. Your heart is beating so fast and you’re starting to feel nervous and anxious again. You get up and walk over to your front door. You can hear your heartbeat in your ear and a wave of butterflies in your stomach. You take a deep breath, open the door, and see her standing there, looking like she’s feeling just as nervous as you.

“Come in.” You say as you get out of the way. She quickly steps inside and looks at you. She looks a bit more relaxed now that she has arrived at your house, but she’s still a bit anxious. You close the door behind her and she looks around the room. She seems eager to talk now that she is here with you.

You walk back over to the couch and sit back down. Her attitude has changed a bit now that she is inside the house and feels more relaxed. She still looks like she has a lot to talk about and she seems excited to have this conversation. You look at her waiting for her to talk. She looks back at you and takes a deep breath. She seems like she’s been preparing for this conversation for a while, and she’s ready to finally get it all out in the open. “I know it’s only been a few days and I said that I was going to give you some time, but I really wanted to come back over as soon as I could. I know that you’re probably still mad and upset, but I just needed to talk to you again. ”You look up at her as she continues.“I wanted to take some time to really think about everything that happened... about everything I did. I just kept blaming everything on external factors, and I never really held myself accountable for what I did. But now, I’m not doing that anymore. I should’ve thought about how much I hurt you, and I should’ve taken into consideration what our relationship meant to you. I’ve been selfish and self-centered. And I’m really going to try and change that.”

You look up at her, taking in her words. She continues to talk, really pouring her heart out. “I also want you to know how truly sorry I am for what I did. I broke your trust, and the fact that you can’t even look me in the eye anymore is just a painful reminder of how much you distrust me now. I really want to fix this, and if it takes time for you to forgive me, I will wait.” You tear up as she talks, She looks at you, noticing that you’re tearing up and she starts to get really nervous. “Please... please don’t cry. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I really do need it. I did so much to hurt you, and I need you to let me back in your life. You’re so important to me, and I need you to know that I will never hurt you again.”

“You better not.” You say looking away from her. She gives you a solemn nod. “I promise I will never hurt you again. I understand that you need time to heal and to trust me, but when you are ready, please let me back in. I’m willing to do anything and everything to make this work again.” You look at her not sure what to say. She looks back at you, not expecting you to say anything back. You’re both feeling a lot of things right now, so she understands that it’s hard to even have any words to reply with. She takes a deep breath and looks at you. "Can I ask you something?" She takes another deep breath before asking the question, trying to prepare herself for your answer. “Can you... can you tell me if you think there's still a chance for us?”

“Maybe, I don't know…” You respond with a trembling voice. You still love her but you don't know if you can do this all over again. Her face immediately lights up with a spark of hope hearing those words. She realizes that you still consider a chance. She smiles and looks away. “That’s all I needed to hear. I just need to know that there’s some sort of chance. I know it might take a lot of time and effort for you to forgive me, and I will take every action necessary to prove to you that I can be trustworthy again.”

Your body relaxes slightly. She notices that your body has relaxed a bit, which makes her feel better. She’s glad that she at least had a slightly more positive impact than she anticipated. She looks back at you and she really starts to feel hope. “I really want this to work. You were always so good to me, too good even, and I took it for granted, but I’ll never take it for granted again, if you give me another chance.” She notices that you still have a sad expression, which makes her feel bad. She wants nothing more than to make you happy, but she knows that this might take some time. So she just keeps talking to you. She hopes that hearing the right words will make you smile and forgive her. “I know I don’t deserve another chance, but please, please I’m begging you to just give me one more. We can take all the time we need, just as long as we end up together again. "

“Let's see what time holds.” You say in a low tone, out of energy. She nods, accepting your answer. It’s not the immediate yes she wanted, but it’s still a good sign. She feels a little bit better inside. “Okay, I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as I need to. I know I screwed up badly, and that it won’t be an easy thing to earn back your trust. But I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

You look away from her and lean back into the couch thinking of everything she has said. After a few minutes you ask her without looking at her, “Wanna watch a movie or something?” You didn't want to talk anymore but you didn't want her to go just yet either. She lights up as soon as you make the movie comment. She hadn’t thought about watching a movie with you or with anyone for a while. “Oh my god, yes. Please, I would love to watch a movie together. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, just relax with you and watch something we both enjoy.”

“Okay then.” You pick up the remote and put something on. She gets a smile on her face as you pick up the remote and turn on the tv. She leans back on the couch and gets comfortable as she watches what you put on. It’s the first time in a while that she’s just been able to relax and do something simple with you. You can't really look at her so you just watch the TV. She notices that you won't look at her, and she wonders why. She tries not to think too hard about it, and she keeps watching the TV as well. She also notices that your mood has lightened a little bit since she walked in. Maybe you’re starting to forgive her or starting to consider giving her another chance. She smiles as she hears you laughing at the movie’s jokes. It makes her feel good to see you look like you are in a better mood, and she also can’t help but smile. She really missed this. Her mood has lightened as well, and she feels less anxious, now that she’s sitting next to you again, in your living room, watching a movie. The movie ends and you guys sit in silence for a little while, just taking in the movie and the atmosphere around you. She eventually breaks the silence by looking over at you and asking: “What did you think?”

“I liked it, had some good jokes.” You smile slightly. Her face lights up when you tell her that you liked it. She agrees, saying that it had good jokes. She then asks, “Do you want to watch another one?”

“You choose this time.” You give her the remote. Your hands briefly touch each others as you pass her the remote. She takes it from you and starts browsing through the available titles. She’s not sure what to pick, but she wants to ensure that you both enjoy this one as well. She decides on a comedy, and she presses the button to start playing. You sit back and try to relax as the movie starts. She sits back as well, trying to relax. She’s not sure if you’re fully relaxed yet, but she wants to make it that way. She watches the film with you, trying to watch it and not thinking too much. Just wanting to enjoy being in this space with you again, even if it’s only as friends. You shift positions into a more comfortable one. She notices that you’ve shifted into a more comfortable position. She also notices that you haven’t really been looking at her at all, and she’s still wondering why. But she doesn’t let her thoughts distract her too much from watching the movie. She tries to focus on enjoying the moment and not over analyzing everything. The movie ends and you look up at her. She notices your eyes on her and she looks right back at you. She can still see that you’re a bit uncomfortable, like you haven’t forgiven her yet. But she doesn’t let it get her too down, and she focuses on the fact that you’re still sitting by her and you haven’t asked her to leave yet.

“It's getting a bit late…” You say looking at your phone. She looks at the time and is surprised that so much time has gone by already. “Oh god, you’re right, it’s kind of late.” She says with a yawn.

“I should go to bed. Talk tomorrow?” You say, as you look slightly in her direction. She nods and smiles. “Yeah, let’s talk tomorrow. You get some rest, and let’s talk things over again tomorrow. Okay?”

“Okay.” You get up from the couch and open the door for her to leave and go home. She gets a small smile on her face and walks to the door. “Okay, thank you for letting me come back over. Hopefully, we can talk again tomorrow.” She stops at the door and looks back at you, waiting for you to let her out. “Good night.” She walks away and she closes the door behind her. She’s glad that you’re still willing to talk, and that you let her come back. For now she’s just going to return home, get ready for bed and try to get some rest. She hopes that she will see you tomorrow. You both get some rest and head to bed. The next morning, she wakes up early and starts getting ready for the day. She hopes that she can talk to you again and make this whole thing a little bit better. She wants nothing more than to put this drama behind you two and get back to the way things used to be.

The next day you go to class as normal. She goes to class as well, and after it’s over she decides she is going to wait for you outside the door so that she can talk to you as soon as you walk out. She hopes that you’re still willing to at least listen to her. You see her standing just by the door, waiting for you to exit. She notices you and waves at you to come over to her so that you two can talk a bit. She’s hoping that you’ll be willing to hear her out again and continue the conversation you had started yesterday. “Hi…” You say shyly. She waves at you and says, “Hi. Is it okay if we talk for a bit?”

“Sure.”, You two start walking. She walks beside you, not expecting you to be too eager. She’s just happy that you let her talk to you. She notices that you still can’t really look her in the eyes. “Can I ask you something first, just before we go?" She takes a deep breath. “Do you think we can still make this work out? Do you think that eventually you will be able to forgive me?"

“I'm not sure, Ellie, I still feel very hurt. But I don't think it is an impossibility.” You say shrugging your shoulders. She nods, feeling a bit relieved but also somewhat disheartened to hear your response. She knows that there is still a chance, but she also knows that it will take a lot of time for you to heal and to trust her again. “I know it will take time. I just needed to know that there is a chance. I know how much I hurt you, and it’s not because I didn’t care. I did care, more than anything else, but I screwed up anyway.”

“Let's not talk about those things now, okay?” You give her a small smile. She smiles back at you and nods in agreement. “All right, we don’t have to talk about those things right now.”

“Could I ask you one more thing, though? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to."

“What is it?” You ask as you walk. “I noticed that you haven’t really looked at me very much recently. Not to sound paranoid or anything, but is it because you’re trying to avoid my eyes? Is it also because of what happened?”

“I'm just not used to being with you now, I guess. It's been a long time.” You say with sincerity but that's not the only reason. She nods and thinks about your response for a moment before replying. ”I’ll try not to read too much into it. It just hurt me a little to not see you at least looking at me occasionally. But I also understand that maybe it’s just strange for you to see me again. We haven’t seen each other for a while after all.” You two walk and sit outside on a bench together. She sits down beside you on the bench and looks at you, waiting for you to say something. “We’re still talking, and that’s a good sign. Can I ask you one more personal question?”

“Yes?” You reply a bit anxious. She gets a little nervous as she realizes how personal the question she’s going to ask really is. “It is kind of weird. It’s something you really don’t have to answer if you don't want to.”

“Okay…” You respond cautiously. She takes another deep breath before asking the question. “Do you still have feelings for me? Or did you completely lose them?”

“i ... “ You got nervous as she asked it. “I think there's still something there…” You say almost in a whisper. She notices that you get a little bit nervous when she asked the question, and in response she puts her hand over yours. “I’m not asking because I want an immediate yes or no answer. If you need more time, then you can have it. I just need to know, please. Do you have any feelings left for me?” You can feel her calloused hands that you have been missing so much these past months. The size difference between your hands compared to hers is quite funny. Yours almost looks like a childs. You look at her hand on yours. “I think there's still something there…” You say quietly, but loud enough for her to hear. You continue to look down at your hands and her tattoo on her right forearm. She smiles slightly and squeezes your hand. “I’m really glad to hear that. I know this will take time, but I really didn’t want you to completely lose all those feelings. You can take all the time you need, but I’m glad we both know that you haven’t given up on us yet." You give her a shy smile. She smiles back at you, relieved. She didn’t want this whole thing to be a lost cause, and knowing that you still have feelings for her, even if they’ve faded a bit, is enough to make her at least feel a little bit better. She leans over close to you in an attempt to lighten the mood. “See? You still have a soft spot for me.”

“Don't get too cocky now.” You say playfully. She laughs slightly in response to your playful comment.

“Okay okay, I might have assumed too much. But you have to admit, there is still something here between us. You haven’t walked away and you’re still willing to talk to me. That means something.”

“I guess it does.” You look up at her. She glances up at you again, enjoying this little moment between the two of you. “Yeah, it definitely does. I’m glad that I still mean something to you.” You hold her hand back. She feels your hand grasping hers. She enjoys the feeling of your hand in hers, even just for a bit. She then squeezes your hand a little, trying to show you how much she wants to be with you. “Even though we’re not back together, this doesn’t feel so bad either, does it? We’re getting closer every day.”

You lean your head on her shoulder slowly. She feels your head on her shoulder and she feels a rush of affection. She really loves feeling close to you. She puts her arm around you, holding you tightly. It feels so good to have you back where she wants you. “I love that you’re leaning on me. I guess we are getting closer after all.” You close your eyes and just enjoy the moment for a bit. When you close your eyes, she takes this as an opportunity to get even closer. And so, she pulls you a little more towards her, and her arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you so that your bodies are touching. She still doesn’t want to push it too far, but she really wants to feel closer to you at this moment. You get butterflies as she pulls you closer. She can feel your heartbeat through your body, beating so rapidly and so strongly. She’s so close to you, she can smell your scent and it makes her feel butterflies too. She doesn’t say anything, she just wants to soak this moment in and enjoy being this close to you.

A few weeks later you were hanging out at her place. You have been getting along quite well and she hadn't messed up anything yet. You had gone out together a few times, studied together, hung out like you used to, gone on “dates”' with her, as she liked to call them. She was really putting in the effort this time. You had had a few really great days, with your time together becoming more frequent and more intimate. Just being close to her felt good, like you two used to feel. She had even started to open up a little as well. You had been taking things slow and it was going well. You still felt some pain when you thought of the past. But you can't deny that you want to go a little further with her. You're just a bit scared to make a move. You sit next to her on the couch, cuddling up to her as you watch a movie together.

You hold her hand. She feels your hand taking hers, wrapping around it tightly. She can still feel those butterflies in her stomach from just being with you. She doesn't reply in words, instead just simply squeezing your hand. It feels comforting to have you holding her hand again. You smile a bit not looking at her but at the TV. She notices that you're looking straight ahead, never taking your eyes off the screen. She finds this cute, but she decides to try to distract you just a little. With her other hand she starts to rub the palm of your hand. The rubbing of her thumb starts to lightly stroke your palm a little. You feel the butterflies appearing once more. The slight rubbing of her thumb against the palm of your hand seems to have an effect. You can feel your heart beating a little faster, so you know that those butterflies are definitely there. She smiles a little as she continues to rub your palm, wanting to see if she can make the butterflies keep coming back. She also wants to see how long until you're not able to resist her touch. You lean your head on her shoulder as you watch the movie. She smiles as you lean your head on her shoulder, she has a feeling that you're getting more and more comfortable with her again. She continues to rub your palm with her thumb, wanting to keep those butterflies around for just a little while longer.

You chuckle at the funny scene on the screen. She also lets off a little laugh as the movie scene plays out. As she laughs she continues to rub the palm of your hand a bit, wanting to keep that feeling of butterflies for as long as she can. You hold her hand a little tighter, She feels your squeeze and she smiles a little as a response. She continues to rub her thumb against the palm of your hand. It feels so nice to be so close to you again, she just wants to stay like this. As the movie ends you don't move, and neither does she. You just sit there, with your bodies pressed up next to each other. You can feel the heat coming from her and it just makes you feel so comfortable. She's waiting for you to say something, or to do something. This might be the perfect moment for you to take the next step in your reconciliation. It's all up to you. You nuzzle into her neck a bit more. As you nuzzle into her neck, she smiles and wraps her other arm around you. You can feel the warmth of her body and she feels the warmth of yours as well. It's a very calming and relaxing feeling to be close to her like this again. You're just enjoying having her like this, just the two of you, sitting, nuzzling, and enjoying each others' company.

“I missed this…” You say quietly. She smiles when she hears you say those words. It just makes her feel so happy knowing that you like being this close to her again. “I did miss this as well.” She says quietly, then she pulls you even closer and kisses your neck lightly. She’s waiting to see how you’ll respond to this, hoping that you’ll like it and that it’ll make you happy. You feel a bit caught off guard by the neck kiss. She can feel your body reacting to it and tensing up a bit, and it makes her feel so proud. You had been taking things a little slowly up to this point, but this feels like the next right step. This seems like a natural way for the two of you to have physical intimacy, and she can feel that you’re enjoying it. She pulls you a little bit closer still, wanting to get even closer to you. You look up at her a bit confused.

She sees you look up at her and she smiles at you. Her smile seems more genuine than before. She keeps kissing your neck lightly and slowly, not wanting to go too fast, but she knows what you like and where you like to be touched. She wants to make this experience as pleasurable for you as possible. You giggle as the kisses are tickling your neck. She smiles at your giggle, finding it incredibly cute. She likes making you happy, and so she continues the kisses on your neck, still waiting to see if you want more or if you want her to stop. It starts to feel like more than just mere innocent kisses as she continues. She keeps going, wanting to see how far she can take this before you pull back. She doesn’t want to go all the way and take this too far if you're not comfortable, but she wants to get to a point where she can feel confident that you’re as comfortable with this as she is with you.

You start to blush a bit. She notices this new development as you start to blush. She takes this as a positive sign that you’re liking what she’s doing and that’s really what matters to her. She keeps kissing along your neck, and then moves to softly kissing your cheeks and cheek bone. She wants you to feel this intimacy and closeness, and it feels amazing for her as well. You close your eyes as you feel her lips on your skin. She takes note of the fact that you’ve closed your eyes, and this makes her feel amazing. That you’re now so comfortable with her and your intimacy that you’ve closed your eyes for her. It makes her feel more confident, and also more loving and caring. She moves her hands to your shoulders, wanting to pull you in as tightly as possible so that it’s just the two of you sharing this moment together. You hold her as well. You wrap your arms around her as she pulls you in. You two are holding each other, cuddling up tight as you both soak in this intimate moment. She can feel the heat from your body, and it feels so amazing. She’s enjoying this as much as you are. At this point she’s not sure how much further you want this to go, but she’s enjoying every bit of being close to you again, and she’s not in a rush. The two of you stay close together for quite awhile, as she just enjoys this moment with you. It feels nice to be this close, as well as to have this level of intimacy. The two of you are truly starting to connect again, and feel like it’s the beginning of your reconciliation. Although she’s not rushing this, she also is not opposed to taking things a bit further if that’s what you want. She also knows that you probably would want to at some point, by your body language. You give her a quick peck on the cheek and lean back on her shoulder. She smiles as you give her a kiss on the cheek, and as you lean your head on her shoulder again. At this point she’s not sure just how much intimacy you want, but she will allow you to test just where your limits are. She rubs her fingers around your shoulders gently in an attempt to make you feel completely loved and cherished.

“I missed feeling like this…” You say feeling the warmth of her touch. She smiles a little at that. She liked knowing that she was able to make you feel these warm and loving feelings again. “So did I. I’ve missed being this close to you, I’ve missed feeling this kind of intimacy with you.” Her words warm your heart. She knows that the words she’s saying are things you truly want to hear. She keeps giving you words of love and affection, wanting to make you feel even more reassured about the fact that things really are okay between the two of you again. After a bit you sit back up straight, and stretch from the position you had been in, watching the movie. She notices your stretching and decides to sit up as well. She had loved having you so close, but she could see that you were getting a little bit uncomfortable after being in that position for so long. She then looks at you, not sure what to say next or if there’s anything that needs to be said at all. You sit facing her on the couch, not sure what to say. The two of you have been quiet for a bit now, just sitting there on the couch with nothing to say. She feels that this moment might be a little bit awkward, so she decides to break the silence. “So what should we do now?” She asks, deciding to switch back to one of your usual topics of conversation.

“You still have mario kart?” You ask, smiling. She smiles back when you bring up Mario Kart and says, “I do actually. I had it brought over when I was moving to campus. Do you really want to play Mario Kart with me?” She says this in a joking manner, but she’s really not joking. That was something the two of you had done many times together back in your relationship, and she’d love to do it again if you’re up for it. “I'll win, you'll see.” You say looking at her with a smug face. She laughs a little at your cocky attitude, but she also really likes it. She can’t deny that your confidence makes her even more attracted to you, even in this playful way. “Oh yeah? You think you could beat me?” She asks you with a playful grin. “I know I can.” You nudge her slightly. She smiles when you nudge her and replies, “Oh no, you did not just say that. You wanna put your money where your mouth is then? I will own you in Mario Kart.”

“Put the game on then…” You look at her teasingly. She takes that as the challenge that it is, and pulls out the game cartridge, and puts it into the console where she then turns the system on. She then selects multiplayer and gets the set-up ready. “You ready to lose?” She asks you with a playful grin, waiting for you to take the controller and get this going. “Are you ready to get absolutely destroyed?” You reply with a smirk on your face. She laughs at your confidence and replies, “Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you. Have you seen me play Mario Kart? I can be quite formidable.”

“I think you are forgetting my skills.” You say in a teasing manner. She smirks at your comment, feeling even more confident in her skills than before. “Are you saying that you’ve got more or better skills than I do? Because I highly doubt that.”

“Let's see then.” The race starts. When the race starts she smiles at you. She hits the gas and starts to speed up, and before too long she moves ahead of you in first place. It’s just the first lap, but she’s already off to a strong start. You throw turtles at her and get in the first place yourself. She feels one of the turtle shells hit her as you overtake her, and she ends up falling back to second place. She doesn’t let this slow her down though, and she does what she can to gain back the first spot. She still sees that there’s no way you would be able to maintain this pace, which is giving her hope. She’s not going to lose this just yet. On the last lap you were neck-to-neck. You and her battle this final lap, back and forth as you take the lead, and then she overtakes you. It almost seems like this race is being played at a constant, neck-to-neck position. She’s getting slightly more nervous now, but she doesn’t let that show. She’s determined to win this race. You drive over a speed boost and pass her, winning the race at the last minute. She can’t believe it, she tried so hard only to have you take the win at the last possible second. She feels a little betrayed, even though she knows she should just be happy for you. She doesn’t say anything as you finish ahead of her, just trying to keep her composure and trying to not let her pride and ego get the best of her.

“And now who's the better player?” You look at her teasingly. She smiles at this but can’t help but be annoyed that you’re right about being the better player. “I hate you.” She says half jokingly, but she doesn’t let this take away from the fact that she loves your confidence. “No you don't.” You get a bit closer to her. She gets a bit embarrassed when you get so close, but it still makes her happy. “Maybe not, you are a pretty good player.” She says teasingly, but she can’t deny that you really are a good player indeed.

“Wasn't so hard to admit, was it?” You say in a teasing way, getting closer to her face whilst looking at her. She feels her heart beating faster when you come even closer to her own face, and it makes her blush lightly. “No, I guess it wasn't so hard.” She admits, being fully aware that you are teasing her in a playful way, which she finds to be quite humorous. You continue to look her in the eyes. She can’t help but keep looking into your eyes too, feeling very close and comfortable with you. This was something she very much enjoyed, that intimate, closeness of being face-to-face with you like this. You start feeling the butterflies again as you look at her. Your eyes speak volumes as you look at each other. She feels the connection between you two is growing more and more as you continue to look at her like this. She notices that your heart rate seems to be increasing, as well as how you can’t stop looking at her. This is an incredibly intimate moment, with that mix of nerves due to how fast your heart rate is increasing. She's enjoying this though, seeing you become so affected by her and the closeness between you two. You shake your head and sit back straight looking at the TV. She sees that you’re now sitting straight and looking away. She feels a bit bad that she might’ve been a little bit too close and maybe overwhelmed you. She decides to sit back a bit from you, just so that you’re not feeling like she’s taking it too far too soon. She’s not trying to move too fast, so she backs away just a little.

“Want a rematch?” You look at her with a smile after a few seconds. She laughs when you ask about a rematch, but she’s not opposed to it. “Oh, so if I beat you, will you admit that I’m better?” She says with a laugh, not taking your challenge too seriously.

“I'm going to win again, you'll see.” You had a smirk on your face as you said it. She smiles at your confidence, feeling very amused by you and enjoying this playful side you’re showing. “Oh is that so? Well, let's just see about that then.” She says, ready to beat you during this rematch.

The rematch starts, and you and her are neck to neck the whole way through it once again, each of you taking the lead only for the other one to take the lead from the other again. But before too long, you manage to secure yourself the number one position, pulling ahead by just a little bit and beating her out the race once more. You laugh as you win, looking at her. “How does it feel to lose?” You tease her playfully. She laughs back at this, feeling a little bit frustrated that she’s lost twice in a row now. “Not great, I’ll admit. I had hoped I’d do a little better, but it seems you’ve got me beat.” She admits, still trying to keep her cool.

“I do, don't I?” You get closer to her again. As you get closer to her she feels a more intense feeling of butterflies rushing through her. It’s that same feeling of closeness that she felt a few minutes ago. “Yes, you really do. You’re an extremely good player, I have to admit.” She says, continuing to speak with a bit of humor in her voice.

“I’m the best really…” You say teasingly. She laughs. “Oh, you're the best? That's quite egotistical of you, don't you think?” She says in a bit of a teasing manner as well. You look at her with a teasing look in your eyes. She looks back at you, seeing the look on your eyes. She thinks it’s very cute, and she smiles at the sight. She can’t help but feel that happy with you being so close to her, and that playful look in your eyes, it’s making her feel slightly flustered.

“Oh are you blushing now?” You tease her again. She sees that you noticed her slight blush and feels a bit embarrassed, but she keeps quiet about this. She decides to just play along with you, keeping a teasing tone as well. “Maybe I am blushing a little, but I just can’t help it when I'm this close to you.”

“I'm irresistible, I know.” You look her dead in the eyes with a smile. She feels like her heart is racing as she stares back at you. It honestly doesn’t feel like she can tear her eyes away from yours. She’s feeling that same feeling of butterflies rushing throughout her, but this intense look between you two also adds another layer to this. She can feel herself get a bit more flustered. “See? You can't even answer me anymore.” You hold her chin speaking in a lower voice. The way you are now holding her chin just makes everything even more intense for her. The low voice and the way you’re looking at her makes her feel slightly breathless. She can’t find the words to speak back, as her heart races all that much faster now. You get slightly closer to her, “Cat got your tongue?”

She feels like her heart is going 120 miles per hour as you get ever so close to her. She can’t speak a single word, and can barely breathe even. Your voice is making it hard for her to focus on anything else but you and how close you are right now. She’s just staring back at you, not knowing what to do or say to this. “Maybe I should check if your tongue is still there…” You look at her lips and then at her eyes again. Her eyes widen when she realizes that you may be thinking about kissing her. She gets so flustered when you mention even the possibility of it. It’s like all her thoughts are blocked up whenever she thinks about kissing you. She tries to find her voice again but just can’t think of any reply to this. She feels her face get even hotter and more flushed the more she imagines you kissing her.

You look at her for a few more seconds before kissing her hard and pull your body to hers instantaneously, completely losing yourself in the moment when your lips touched hers. The first second of contact is an indescribable feeling. The next thing she knows, you’re pulling her into you, and she feels all of you pressed up against her while your lips are locking with hers. The sensation is overwhelmingly hot, and there’s nothing she could do to get herself out of this. She was lost in you, and she loves this feeling. You hold her face firmly as you kiss her. She feels the warmth of your lips on hers, and all thought is suddenly completely blocked out, leaving room only for pure emotion. This kiss was hot, and she didn’t want it to end any time soon. She was feeling that intense feeling of pure connection, and she just wanted more of you, she couldn’t get enough of it. As you pull her into you, she also moves her hands to your body, and your bodies become intertwined as you both feel the warmth between you two. You can feel her hands moving up and down, exploring every single inch of your skin.

Lost in the moment you straddle her on the couch, continuing to kiss her like there's no tomorrow. It’s like nothing else mattered at this moment aside from the two of you. The intensity that was rising from inside both of you made every moment a pure, unadulterated experience. She didn’t know anything anymore other than the passion that was exploding all over her. She could feel the heat inside her rising with each kiss, and as you straddled her she couldn’t have cared what anyone or anything thought of this moment that she was so lost in. You hold her hair back as you pull her in for another kiss. There’s something so intoxicating about the way you kiss her, and she can’t get enough of you. There’s nothing else that matters anymore, just you and her. Her face is so hot from the passion of this intense moment between two people who were once separated by so much, but now they couldn’t be any more connected in this moment together.

As the tension builds up you take your top off. Her breath catches at the sight of you pulling it off. Her eyes are completely locked on you, watching every single layer of clothing come off of you. The sight of this is making the heat inside her feel all the more intense. Her mouth waters at the notion of how much closer you two will become. You look at her after taking it off and go back to kissing her. She feels that same intense feeling inside of her again as she watches you take off your top that was between you two. She feels her breath catch again, as it makes the moment even more intense and much hotter. It’s almost as if her body is completely unable to do anything else other than kiss you and feel the overwhelming feelings flooding through her. You start feeling your core heating up as you two make out. You had wanted this for so long and now you just couldn't stop. Your brain could only think of one thing: Ellie.

You feel her hands on your waist and you get shivers. Her hands continue to move up and down your body, making your entire body shiver. It’s like she has this powerful control over you, and you're entirely being taken over by these intense feelings. She does suddenly get that feeling of wanting to be the one in control. She moves herself onto you and she feels that same sort of control surge through her. She’s now straddling you and leaning down to kiss you again. You look up at her as she takes control. She makes sure to maintain eye contact with you as she holds you with her weight and kisses you passionately. The control really does feel like it's hers now, and she’s taking no chances of losing it again. She’s going to stay in control as long as she can, since it feels that much more fun to be taking the lead.

You suddenly remember the way you two interacted behind closed doors. Especially in the bedroom. The power dynamic between you two used to be very intense and you loved it. Your heart starts to race as you see her behavior change so drastically. She manages to pick you up from the couch, and she puts you down on her bed, not letting go of your body the entire time. This moment has never felt more intense. Her control is now so much more powerful this way, and she feels so good being the one to be taking charge of the situation. You look up at her after she throws you on the bed. She stares down at you, looking at you very intensely that she has you under her complete control in the bed. Her expression is that of someone who intends to have her way. There was nothing she wouldn’t do to get this moment exactly how she wanted it to be.

She takes off her t-shirt to let her body feel the open air of this moment. Her eyes are still locked on you as she begins to take off your shorts. She does this very slowly and passionately, keeping an intense stare at you the entire time. You look at her not being able to get your eyes off of hers. She seems to be enjoying this power dynamic that the two of you have. She missed having you at her mercy. She’s taking as much time as she wants with you, so she can see every inch of your body. She’s not moving as quickly as she would normally, but she wants this moment to last as long as the two of you want.

At each moment she grew more and more dominant, she was enjoying this feeling very much, knowing that you were completely hers. She enjoyed the feeling of having someone under her complete control so much, she would love to keep it going just a little bit longer. She gets on top of you, pressing herself right between your legs, keeping her weight on top of you. She feels very dominant in this position, feeling that same intense feeling of butterflies inside her from before. She can see how much this is affecting you, and feels a little bit of a rush from this feeling of power. You are feeling very turned on by her. The way you felt before she got on top of you was just the beginning of how much more you would feel. Not only do you feel the dominance of her, but also the intensity of her body pressed up against yours. She was feeling very hot laying on top of you like this, and she enjoyed how much it seemed to be turning you on. The friction on your crotch is starting to make you go insane.

“Fuck…” You mumble out as she looks at you dead in the eyes. The feeling of dominance is very strong when she stares you down. She can see your face grow redder as you begin to mumble, and she knows that the feeling of her weight on you is doing something to you. Her lips meet yours once more, and you feel the same intense feeling that you felt in her eyes when she first kissed you. It’s as if your entire body was just being completely overcome with euphoria and it was the only feeling you could process. She makes out with you very intensely, but after some time passes she gets up from the bed, looking back down at you. “Take your bra off, now.” The way she commands you to take off your bra makes your heartbeat speed up just that much more. She has an extremely commanding personality, and it was clear that she wouldn’t take no for an answer at this moment. You sit up and do as she says. She watches carefully as you do what she had ordered you to do. She can notice the nervous and tense nature of your hands as they begin to slowly take your bra off. Once you were finally done, she stares right at you, with an even more intense focus than before.

She stares down at your bare chest and gets slightly more excited. She loves the sight of your body, and she can’t help but let her gaze linger. It’s like her eyes are locked on your beautiful tits, and she feels such a strong urge to kiss you again. She kisses you passionately, but what’s even more interesting for you is the feeling of her hands on your body. She seems to be roaming all over it, just exploring every inch of your skin. Then one of her hands cups your breast and starts fondling it. You feel these tiny little goosebumps come over your skin as she runs her hands all over you. She keeps her hands moving constantly, running them up along your sides, up and down your thighs, all over your body making every inch of your skin seem to shiver. You let out small moans into the kiss. As she kept kissing you, she noticed that you started letting out small moans each time. This was very intense for her, and she couldn’t help but like the sound of those soft moans coming from you. They were making her go crazy. She places her hand on your thigh and her touch feels so good against your skin. It’s almost like she’s taking over your whole body, leaving no inch untouched.

She looks at you as she moves her hand upwards. She sees that you noticed her touching your thigh, and she moves her hand. Your breath catches as her hand comes higher and higher, you keep waiting for her to stop but she keeps moving up. You look at her, trying to catch your breath. You’re trying to keep yourself from letting out too many sounds, but you can’t help but let out some soft exhales each time she goes higher. You feel the excitement rising within you, feeling every second of this moment and all of the movement of her hand. She finally reached the spot she had wanted and you feel your breath catch in your throat when she does that. She seemed to have noticed your reaction to her and you see that she smirks for a second before continuing what she was doing just now. She starts moving her fingers over the cloth of your panties, still looking at you, biting her lower lip. Her finger movements are so subtle and light that they just feel like small waves washing over that one spot, making you shiver. She can tell this is just exactly where she wants to be, and seeing you bite your lip in anticipation is making the moment so much more exciting. She can feel how aroused you are getting. She feels the intensity of your arousal slowly rising, the wet patch forming on your underwear, and the feeling of this power she had over you is incredibly intoxicating. She liked the feeling of knowing that she could make you feel this way, and she wasn’t planning on letting you go any time soon.

“Fuck…” You let out as she continues to move her fingers. The sound of your voice as you let out these little curses just makes her grin more. It’s very clear that she had hit the right spot, just as she remembered it. She gets overtaken by her feeling of control and orders you to get on your knees in front of her. She completely takes over this moment. “On your knees, now.” Her voice is not soft anymore, but raspy and demanding. Her level of dominance was through the roof, and she couldn’t take it anymore. You were hers again. It’s like she’s taking over your entire mind with her demands. Your thoughts can only really focus on one thing right now as you get on your knees in front of her, waiting to see what she’s going to do next. She sits on the bed manspreading with you right in between her legs. You have no idea what to expect, but she seems to know exactly what she’s going to do. Her legs are completely spread wide, with her sitting on the edge of the bed. Her stare is once again incredibly intense, and you can’t stop but feel excited and a little bit nervous all at once.

You look up at her eyes. Her eyes seem to be almost like she’s looking into your entire soul, and she feels more in control than ever before with your gaze focused entirely at her. She feels such a strong power over you in this moment, and she can’t help but start to let out a small smirk on her lips as she watches you keep looking at her. She holds your chin and looks at you. The way she holds your chin and looks directly into your eyes makes this feeling of intense power even stronger. She seems to be enjoying herself very much with this level of dominance over you. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?” She asks, looking you dead in the eyes, still holding your chin. She looks deep into your eyes as she asks you that question, and you can already feel the pressure that the question itself is placing on you. You can tell she expects you to be a good girl now, so you better not disappoint her. You nod as she waits for your response. She can see how you nod, and that seems to be the answer she was looking for. She smiles wide and says, “Good girl.” She gives you a little kiss on your forehead as a reward for your response, but makes it clear that the expectation of you being a good girl is not going away any time soon. With her thumb brushing against your lips, it seems as though she’s just playing around with you. She seems to be enjoying taking control and playing with you, as it’s making you feel some of the most intense emotions that you’ve ever felt in a while.

“Open up.” She says in a low voice as she puts her thumb into your mouth. The moment her thumb is in your mouth, you feel a sense of euphoria that you would have never thought was possible you would ever feel again. All of the feelings that she’s been giving you up until now feel as though they are being brought to the next level. She had really taken control of this moment, and you could feel her thumb moving inside of your mouth in a way that just made it feel even more incredible than you could have ever expected. Your breath caught in such a way that you couldn’t help but let out some more of those little curses. Your lips wrap around her thumb, and you really let yourself sink into this act. After you sucked on her thumb, she kisses you again, and it feels like all of the intense emotions are just growing even further. You can feel the same kind of sensation as before, and you didn’t imagine it could be possible to have someone take over your entire body like this again.

“Now, you are going to stay right there like a good girl and I'll be right back.” She says to you as she gets up to go get something, but her final words make you wait right there as she tells you to stay put. You follow her orders the entire time she’s gone, knowing that she’ll have something else in store for you when she arrives back. You keep looking down at the ground as you await her return, still in that same position you were told to stay in. You can’t help but notice this level of dominance she was taking over you, and the way she just made you stay in this position and wait for her was really making you feel something very exciting. She comes back and praises you for not moving as she demanded. The act of staying so perfectly still when you had been told to wait made you feel incredibly good when she praised you for following her orders perfectly. You didn’t expect to be acting so perfectly submissive, but you didn’t mind one bit either. She sits on the bed and says. “Come sit on my lap. Be a good girl for me, yeah?” You immediately feel a rush as she says those words. You follow them like the good girl she demanded you to keep being, and you have no problem with doing what she asks you to do. You sit on her lap and she smiles wide when she sees that you are complying again with her wishes.

She starts lightly touching your body and tracing it with her fingers. Her light touches feel just as incredible as before as she lightly touches your chest and stomach with her fingers, tracing them all along your body and creating some of the most intense feelings that you’ve ever felt. She seemed to be enjoying herself again, finding every inch of your body and enjoying just how much she could get you to tremble under her grasp. She is loving feeling this dominance over you again. She really missed you. Her fingers now move down to your thighs, tracing around them in circles. You can practically feel the sensation of tingling, moving through your body with each touch of her fingers. You see her staring at you as you sit on her lap, and she continues to move her fingers slowly upwards. She makes it very clear that she’s looking to touch and explore just about every inch of your body. The moment her fingers get to where she wanted, your sopping cunt, you find yourself letting out another of these little curses for just how intense this all was. Her lips curl up into a smile as she sees how much effect her fingers have on you. You felt the most intense sensation when she touched your clit through the wet fabric, and you couldn’t help but let out these little sounds. The way she kept moving her fingers in tiny circles a little faster had you feeling every tiny movement. She made it so that she was really making you have another level of sensation that just made this entire experience even more exciting.

You look at her biting your lower lip. The way you bit your lower lip in reaction to this made the moment for her even more intense. You just looked like such a good girl and she still had so much further to go with you. “I'm going to make you feel good now, okay?” She said in a teasing tone as she slid your panties to the side feeling how wet you really were. Your body responded instantly to these words of hers as you felt a surge of nervousness and excitement all over you. She didn’t have to explain at all what kind of feelings she was referring to, your body already knew. The whole point of this interaction so far had been based on letting her be in control, so when she said that she would make you feel good, you knew that she would. She can clearly see from your reaction how much these touches mean to you, and she loved it. That smirk of hers seemed to widen even more when she heard your moans of pleasure as she slowly inserted one of her slender fingers inside you slowly. Because of this new level of excitement that was building between you, she started to feel unstoppable. “Do you like that?” She asks. The moment she asked you this, you found yourself nodding yes instantly. You were already feeling so much from her touches and your body was enjoying every moment of it. So of course you liked it. She starts moving her finger in and out of you a little faster as her other hand holds the back of your head so you continue to look at her. The way she kept going faster had you feel pure ecstasy as she looked you in the eyes so you know who is in charge here. “I'm going to make you feel even better, okay?” She said in a low and raspy tone. Your body responded instantly to these words of hers. Then she inserted another finger into your tight hole and started moving them even faster, curling them inside you. She hit your g spot on the first try. She knew your body too well, and hadn't forgotten one single bit.

She can clearly see from your reaction how much these touches are affecting you, and she loved it. That smirk of hers seemed to widen even more because of this new level of excitement that was building between you. “Do you like that?” She asked as she kept going faster and harder. You started feeling that familiar knot in your stomach form. The moment she asked you this, you found yourself nodding yes instantly again. You were already feeling so much from her touches and your body was enjoying every moment of it. So of course you loved it. You felt like you were about to cum at any second now. She didn't stop for one second until she heard your moans as you felt your orgasm wash over you. She felt really confident as she made you cum. You couldn’t wait to feel what would come next. She slowly took her fingers from inside you and brought them up into her mouth sucking your juices. She went feral when she tasted you again after so much time. The moment she grabbed at the hem of your underwear, your eyes widened a little because she had really taken it to the next level. Up until now, it had felt somewhat familiar and maybe just a little bit intense, but this was on a whole new level. You felt yourself getting very aroused by her again. This whole time she had been making you feel this intense feeling within you, but you can tell that she wants more. She is going to fuck you until you beg her to stop. There's no going back now.

Her smirk keeps getting wider every time you react to her touch, so this was getting even more exciting for her. She had been enjoying herself the whole time, but it was still a very important thing for her to see how much this was having an impact on you as well. She lays you down on the bed, her hand still touching you as she looks down on you. You can see her looking down at you with that same wide smirk on her face, and you still don’t know how much further this will go yet. “Take them off baby girl.” She orders you to take your last remaining piece of clothing as she watches. She motions to your panties that were completely soaked at this point. You take them off slowly. You are now completely bare. Every time she sees you take your clothes off, she seems to get more and more excited. She had never expected you to show off this level of submission so soon, but she was loving every second of it. She felt this new level of power, and she is taking full advantage of it.

She looks at you with a hungry gaze as she seems to be enjoying this entire situation. Your body is completely exposed to her now, and she’s ready to take full advantage of it. You liked it, and you couldn’t wait to feel what would come next. You look up at her, waiting. She continues to look at your body, admiring it, just enjoying this whole situation way too much. Her eyes seem to be glued to you, and she wasn’t going to break that focus anytime soon. Ellie opens your legs and looks at the mess she just made of you. She feels proud of herself, but she will make you scream her name in no time. She knows it. She still knows what you like and what makes you go crazy. She remembers every touch and every spot that made you beg for her to stop. As she opens up your legs, you can feel the sensation of just how deep her power has reached over you. You are completely exposed, your body is completely bare in front of her, and you are completely in her control.

“Ellie…” You tried to speak up but then suddenly her expression changed into a serious one. “Ellie? You know that's not how you address me.” She looks a bit annoyed waiting for you to call her the same name as when you were still together. “Come on now, you know full well that's not my name…” You look up at her blushing as you remember what she liked to be called. “Do I have to spell it out? Or are you going to be a good girl?” She said in a low and raspy voice, but with a very serious look on her face. You knew how possessive she would get every time you had sex. You finally got the guts to say it out loud, so you take a deep breath and tell her what she wants to hear. “Yes daddy… Sorry daddy…” You look away from her as she gets her smirk back on her face. “Wasn't so hard was it? Good girl.” She said and you felt every hair in your body go up. Your quick apology and change of vocabulary has her smile getting even wider, as you knew she loved being called that, just as much as you liked being treated as such. She was loving this entire situation. She looks back down at you with her gaze, looking you up and down like you were some kind of an object of her own creation. Your body belongs to her now, and she was not going to let you go. She continues to look at you for a moment, before she eventually moves her finger to you. She seems to be considering something, but you can’t exactly tell what it is yet. You wait patiently for her to touch you again. She touches you lightly once again, moving her hand down to your pussy and this time, she seems to be moving her fingers a bit quicker. She seemed to be thinking what to do with you next, and you couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline with this kind of change. She looked at what she had gotten up to get when she told you to get on your knees. You recognized that box. You know what's inside it, and you can't believe this is really happening.

She notices you looking at the box and smiles as she sees your reaction to it. “You know what that is, don't you baby girl?...” You look up at her and see her eyes are filled with desire. Her pupils blown at the sight of you naked in front of her. “I’m going to use it on you now, and you are going to take it without any complaints, understood?” She said as she held your neck so you would look straight in her eyes. She squeezed it a bit to get an answer out of you. “Yes daddy…” You responded with your brows furrowed, looking at her. She gives you a passionate kiss and then pulls back leaving you wanting more. “Good girl. Don't move while daddy gets things ready, understood?” You nod instantaneously. She smiles at you with a teasing look in her eyes. She goes to her bedside table and takes out some lube from the drawer. She then takes her jeans off, still looking at you making sure you don't move. She's now only in her sports bra and her boxers. You look at her toned body and only get more aroused at the sight of her. She opens the box and takes off her strap. Your eyes widen as she does. She noticed your excitement and a smirk appeared on her face once more. She put it on and walked over to you, with your legs still wide open for her. She opens the lube tube and puts some on her deep purple strap. She always referred to it as her cock, sometimes she wishes it was real, so she could feel how hot and tight you are while she fucks you. She holds the base as she spreads the lube on her cock as she looks you dead in the eyes with a predatory look. “Are you ready for me to stretch your tight little hole?” She asks you as she lines the tip with your entrance. You look up at her and nod. She looks at you with an animalistic expression on her face. You gulp as you wait for her to move. She teases you a bit before actually pushing it in.

“Fuck… I wanted this for so long…” She says as she looks down at your cunt, ready to penetrate you. “Be a good girl and take what I give you, yeah?” She says this as she pushes it inside you slowly, making you let out moans. You weren't used to the size of her strap anymore. It hurt a little bit but it hurt so good though. When she is completely inside you she gives you a quick kiss and as she does that she starts moving her hips, thrusting into you. She loves the sounds you make but she doesn't want her neighbors to complain about it so she covers your mouth. “Shut up you slut.” Your eyes widened as she called you that name. You can't lie. You loved her dirty talk, and it just made you feel something tingle in your tummy. She started fucking into you a bit faster and she smirked at your expression as she did so. As she thrusts into you she starts losing that smirk and looks at you with predatory eyes. She starts going faster and harder, making you let out tiny sounds as her hand is still over your mouth. She is really enjoying having you like this. Like she wants. You are hers now and she'll use you as she pleases. With her other hand she holds your hips so she can thrust harder into you making you whine every time she enters you. “No making any noise, yeah?” She asks you more like a demand, as she takes her hand off of your mouth. You nod trying not to moan out loud. She smiles mischievously as she sees you struggle to stay quiet. “You know what happens when you don't do as I say, don't you?” She looks at you with a smirk on her face as she watches your facial expressions. “Yes daddy…” You respond trying not to make too much noise. “Good girl, you dont want daddy to punish you, do you?”

“No daddy, I'll be a good girl for you.” You say as she continues to fuck you relentlessly. She's feeling on top of the world having you under her like that. She missed fucking you. Especially like this. The other girls she was with when you were broken up never got to this level. She'd get tired of them. But you? She could never get tired of you. The fact that it was such a quick response made her look over at you with even more desire, and she had this look of complete control written all over her face. She continued to fuck you, and this time, she started rubbing your clit at the same time and moved her fingers even faster than before. This was her way of making you feel good, and you could already tell that you were going to enjoy yourself. You felt the knot forming again as you looked up at her still trying not to make any noise but some whimpers and little curses still escaped your mouth from time to time. She felt really proud of herself as you were getting closer to your second orgasm of the night. She continued and you couldn't take it anymore. “Can i cum daddy? Please?” You ask with pleading eyes not sure how long you'd be able to hold it in.

“I don't know… Do you think you deserve it? Have you been a good girl?” You look at her, pressing your lips together trying to stay quiet. “Yes daddy, I have.” You tell her as you feel like you're about to burst. She smiles down at you as you speak. “Okay baby girl, cum for me then. Cum all over my cock.” Ellie could swear she could feel your walls clenching around her strap. You finally let go and moan as you orgasm. It was so intense that you couldn’t not make sound. She watched you cum as her strap also hit her clit every time she thrusted. She could cum just from looking at you. “That's it… cum all over daddy's cock…” As you hear her low and raspy voice your tummy feels a bit funny. You could cum just from her talking to you like this.

As you come down from your high, Ellie starts going slower as she kisses you, trying to calm you down. She petted your hair as she called you her good girl over and over in your ear quietly. She stopped and took it out slowly, still looking at you trying to catch your breath. She gave you one more kiss and then got up, when you calmed down. She stood in front of you with her strap still on, covered in your cum. By the way she looked at you, you already knew what she wanted next, but you waited for her to say it. “Get on your knees and suck my cock clean like a good girl.” You can't resist her and her voice when she talks to you like that. You sit up and then get out of the bed. You kneel down in front of her. She looks at you the whole time with a smirk on her face. She lines it up with your mouth holding the base. “Open up…” You look up at her as you open your mouth and start sucking her cock. She swears she can feel your mouth on her. She places her other hand on your head and gently guides you as you suck all your cum off of her.

As you finish you look up at her smiling out of breath. She pets your head as she smiles down at you feeling proud of you. She then gets down to your level and kisses you passionately. “That's my good girl.” She praises you by stroking your face. You forgot how much you loved this, how much you missed her treating you like this. She loved every second but she wasn't done with you just yet. Ellie holds you by your neck softly at first, You love when she's rough with you and she loves to go rough on you, knowing you can take it. She looks you in the eye as she starts to squeeze your neck slowly. As she does, she bites her lower lip as she tilts her head back slightly, looking down on you, asserting her dominance. “I’m not done with you…” She whispers in your ear. You feel every hair in your body go up. You feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins as she continues. “I’m going to fuck you until you dont know your name anymore. Until I'm satisfied. You are my fuck toy, got it?” She said this in a very demanding and serious voice. She then looked at you with a very serious expression. You gulp and nod, looking up at her. “Good, now… Get on all fours.” She says as she helps you get on top of the bed. You do as she demanded, remembering her punishments from before. You were in deep now, and Ellie was going to have her way with you.

She watches you as you get into position. She loves when you do as she says. She gets right behind you and gives your ass a light smack. She puts on some more lube on her strap before she fucks you.she hold the base as the other hand holds your hip. “Are you going to behave? You still remember what happens when you are a brat right?” She asks as she alines herself with you and slowly pushes it in. “Yes daddy… “ You whimper as you feel her filling you up again. “That's my good girl.” She starts thrusting into you harder and harder each time. You can't help yourself from letting out some curses and moans. As she hears you she starts going faster. Her boxers are soaked by this point. Her cunt is throbbing as she fucks you. Each push bumps into her clit making her feel her own orgasm building up. You are starting to lose strength on your arms, and with each thrust you just get weaker making your arms give out on you as you land on the mattress on your face. Ellie chuckles at the sight.

“Already tired baby girl? That's too bad, I'm not done with you yet.” She says as she starts thrusting into you harder and harder, making you moan louder. She smacks your ass leaving a red mark. “Shut up slut!” She contninues fucking you relentlenslly as you try to stay silent. You whimper each time she enters you, the knot in your stomach coming undone once more. Ellie grunts as she feels the strap bumping into her clit, making her come closer and closer to her orgasm. You cover your mouth when you feel your own orgasm coming so as not to make her angry with the noise. She notices and starts going even harder on you. “Did I tell you you could cum? Hum?” She asks as she slaps your ass once more. “No daddy…” You respond biting the back of your hand, still trying to stay quiet. “Then what do you think you're doing you brat? You cum only when I let you!” She strikes your ass again. “You are going to be punished, but for now im going to fuck your tigh hole until I cum, so shut up, understood?” She continues to go harder on you, making you whimper as you try to hold your orgasm but being unable to. Not long after, Ellie feels her own orgasm wash over her too. You hear her moans and hisses as she does. “Fuck… “ Her legs start trembling. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…”

You can feel her starting to slow down as she grips the fat of your hips so hard it hurts. She keeps grunting and moaning for a few more seconds before she finally stops fucking you and gets her strap off of you. She gives you a final smack as she stands straight. She takes off her strap and sets it aside to be washed later. When you feel her hand, you collapse on the bed. She looks at you, her eyes sparkling at the mess she made of you. She feels like she's in heaven, having you like this again for her, before her. To use you, to fuck you. She missed you so much. She would often masturbate to the thought of you, calling out your name as she looked at some nudes you had sent her, that she saved only for her own viewing. But she doesn't need to do that anymore, she has you again. All for herself.

You look at her panting, as she takes the strap off. You smile at her slightly, noticing how wet she was. She catches you staring, almost like you were drunk. All red on the face and your eyes half closed from just cumming. “What are you smiling for? I'll make that grin disappear, come here.” She says as she walks towards you. “Get on your knees.” She commands you as you still lay in bed. “Now!” She demands again and you slowly get off the bed and kneel in front of her, still half smiling, almost like you're dazed. She grabs your face and squishes your cheeks. “You think this is funny? You know your punishment right?” You gulp as you remember what she would have you do when you misbehaved. You look up at her with a worried look. “You do know.” She grins as she sees your facial expression change. “But before that, You have something else to do.” She lets go of your face as she gets up. You look up at her, Your eye level now at her hips. “Take them off brat.” She demands and you follow. You take her boxers off slowly looking up at her from time to time. You could see how wet she was. The strings of slick clinging to the fabric as you took them off. “You know what to do now, so be a good girl and clean daddy up.” You nod as you focus on her glistening cunt. You grab her thighs and take a good long lick up her slit, and you can hear her moan, which makes you smile as you continue. Your tongue moves through her folds, up to her clit, earning you some more sweet moans. You start eating her out. She places her hands on the top of your head and grabs some of your hair as your tongue works on her sensitive clit, her moans louder by the second. You want to make her cum, she would very rarely let you do what you were doing just now. She must have been really touch starved the time you were apart. You continue and move your right hand without her noticing as her eyes were closed. She continued moaning and biting her lip as you brought your hand up to her pussy. You massage her clit with your thumb and she looks down at you. “What do you think you're doing?” She asks with an annoyed expression as she pulls you by the hair to see the smirk on your face. You then move your index and middle finger up and down her folds. and go back to licking her clit. She hisses as she feels your tongue and throws her head back.

You start getting your fingers wet and ready, which wasn't difficult since she was a sopping mess. You easily pushed one finger inside her with how wet she was. You heard her moans getting more high pitched and started moving it inside her. She let you take control for a few minutes. She never gave you control. She really missed you and can't resist your touch now. You insert a second finger and she hisses. You start moving them inside her making her become even more vocal. “Fuck… Just like that… don't stop please…” This was music to your ears. You kept going, moving your fingers faster and curling them to hit her special spot. You knew you found it when she grabbed your hair harder so you continued your movements. Your tongue still taking care of her poor throbbing clit. “Fuck… that’s it… Keep going baby…” Her moans got louder signaling her orgasm was close. You continued until her legs were trembling and she pushed your head away lightly. She was panting as she looked down at you as a smile appeared on her flushed face. You sucked her juices off your fingers looking up at her. You then got up and kissed her gently as you wrapped your arms around her.

When you two broke the kiss, she held you for a few seconds before you both layed in bed together cuddling for a bit. A smirk started growing on her face. as she whispered in your ear. “Don't think I forgot about your punishment, little girl.” You look at her face, as yours lost its smile and filled with worry and anticipation. She then grabbed you and laid you over her lap, ass up. “You were a bad girl, and bad girls get spankings…” You gasped when she grabbed you so fast to her lap. As she admired your ass, she could see how worked up you got. “Look at this, did making daddy cum, make my baby girl this wet?... Naughty girl.” You blushed in embarrassment. “Look at how cute you look all flustered like this.” Her smirk grew wider as her fingers traveled to your wet folds. As she moved them you started moaning. “Does my baby want something? You'll have to ask very nicely for daddy to consider it…” She says as she looks at your flushed face, whilst still moving her fingers in your wetness. You took a deep breath as you looked at her. “Please make me cum daddy…” Her pupils blew as she heard your words. “Please use your fingers on me…” You begged once more. She continued to get her fingers wet and ready to penetrate you. She occasionally would stimulate your clit for a few seconds.

“How can I say no when my pretty girl begs me so nicely…” She says as she stuffs two fingers inside you without warning, making you gasp. She chuckles at your reaction and starts pumping her fingers in and out of you with ease. “You practically swallowed my fingers, you really wanted me to fuck you again didn't you?” She chuckles once more at your pathetic state. She inserted a third finger as she watched your hole get stretched by her. Her mouth started watering at the sight. You hissed as you felt her stretch your walls, but you couldn't deny that it felt amazing. “Fuck… look at that…” She then started pumping them in and out inside you again. “I love this daddy…” She smirks and says, “I know you do.” And it only feels like your entire body has felt something almost ethereal. She keeps going at a fast pace, and you feel the sensations growing within you. You feel yourself getting pushed to the absolute extremes, and it’s an overwhelming yet welcoming feeling. She is relentless, she’s finger fucking you so hard that you hear yourself mumbling out some curses without realizing it as the feelings keep intensifying. She was enjoying the feeling of watching you be pushed to your limit, she was enjoying your reactions so much.

She continues the momentum going, moving even quicker and faster than before. You felt even more of the intense feelings moving throughout your entire body, and it felt so much more intense than everything else that she had already done up until this point. She was starting to almost over-stimulate you. You were loving it. Your legs start to tremble as you start moaning louder, you feel that familiar knot in your belly again. She seems to be able to read your body and that you’re reaching a peak. It’s exactly what she is hoping for. For you to cum all over her fingers. You have no idea of just how much further she’s going to take you after this, but she is keeping that as a surprise. You feel your orgasm overcome you completely, not only the feeling but the whole moment as she keeps going. She is pushing your body to the limits and now, you really can’t do anything but succumb to the feeling being given to you. She can't just stop, she loves hearing like this too much. She is going to take you over the edge. Your body is feeling so much that your energy is being sucked right out of you. “Yes baby, that's it… cum for me… cum for daddy…” Her eyes sparkle as she hears the sounds you make. She'll never get tired of the sight of her fingers disappearing inside you.

You succumb to your exhaustion as she stops finally, letting you have a break and letting you breathe and relax from just how intense your orgasm was. She continues going just a little bit to keep your body under her control, but for now, she is allowing you to come down from what you just experienced. “Thank you daddy….” You say, not having the energy to move much. Your words sounded more like a breath than a complete sentence, and she smiles wide again at what you said. She was so happy to have pushed you to your limit, and now, she was letting you rest for a bit. She just keeps lightly touching you, to keep you under her influence still.

She took her fingers out of you looking at your stretched hole, proud of the state she's left you in. She then started rubbing your bare ass in circles. “Now, your punishment for earlier… How many do you think you deserve, hum?” She asked you as her other hand pulled your hair slightly. “I think 15 would teach you a lesson, don't you think?” She spoke in a serious tone now. She wasn't playing around anymore. She saw your worried face and let out a chuckle. “Pathetic.” She said as she spanked you for the first time, you winced at the pain. “Cry all you want, your spanking is gonna happen anyway.” She spanked you a second time and you let out a louder wince. She continued spanking your ass as she counted each one. Every one harder than the last. By the time there were only 5 left, you were crying, and oh how she loved the sight of you. “Only 5 more, baby girl.” She continued counting, your ass was full on red at this point and started to sting a lot. “14…” You screamed at the pain. “Only one more and your punishment is over, ready?” She lifted her hand high and prepared to hit you the hardest of all the spankings. “15!” She spanked you so hard that you screamed. “There, we’re done baby girl.”

She soothed your sore ass by stroking it gently for a few seconds. She then held you in her arms as she kissed your tears away. “It’s okay pretty girl, it's over now. Daddy is proud of you for taking your punishment so well. Let's not have to do that again, yes?” You looked up at her and nodded as your tears continued flowing. “Yes daddy…” She smiled when she heard your voice. “Good girl.” She held you as she comforted you. “Shhh… It's over now…” She rocked you a bit as you were almost in a fetal position. You stayed cuddling for some time and she covered you both with the sheets. She kissed your forehead, you were really tired, almost falling asleep. “I love you so much. You can't even imagine how much I missed you, my baby girl.” She said quietly as she hugged you tighter, pressing your body on hers. You looked up at her and gave her a gentle kiss.

She lays back beside you holding you close after that experience. The way you leant into her touch just made her feel even more comfortable to get to be this close with you again, and she didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving soon either. She keeps holding you close to her and doesn’t seem to want to let go even with this exhaustion hitting you. All you can really do now is just lay in her arms as she holds you. You let out a quiet noise of contentment, feeling your body finally getting a chance to relax after going through all of that. She continues to stroke your hair and your body, and you still continue to just lay there in her embrace. Her light touches are so comforting. It’s like the fatigue doesn’t even matter to her, she just wants you to keep feeling good and under her control. “Thank you daddy…” You mumble out from her gentle touches. Her touch is very delicate, with each stroke being so light. There wasn’t any rush for you to say more things, since the experience was so overwhelming. You actually enjoyed the spanking a bit, but you didn’t quite know why it felt so good. You just continued to lay right where you were, with her gently touching and stroking you.

You look up with a small smile, and she returns the look. You can tell that she is enjoying this time with you, because she can truly see how much of an impact she is able to make. You never thought that you would be this far gone, but she was enjoying seeing you like this, that she had pushed you so far, and you loved every second. You nuzzle into her embrace for a bit. She wraps her arms around you and pulls you closer to her as you nuzzle into her embrace. She continues her gentle stroking on your body with her fingers, and the warm feeling of satisfaction covers her completely. She liked the feeling of you being in her care, and she liked what she was able to make you feel. You ended up falling asleep in her arms, succumbing to your exhaustion. Ellie continued to hold you and look at you while you fell asleep. You looked so serene, she would never get tired of your beautiful face. She kissed your forehead one more time and continued to stroke you gently. “I love you so much, I never want to be without you again.” She whispered as not to wake you up. She continued to look at you lovingly until she herself eventually fell asleep too.

You and Ellie were a couple again. You were so happy to have her back in your life. She made all the effort she needed to gain your trust back again. She treated you like a princess. With all the love you deserve. As time passed you started to trust her again, and forgave her past behavior. You loved her and she loved you. That was all that mattered and as long as you had each other, Everything would be okay. She was so grateful for your forgiveness. She stopped smoking and drinking and became the Ellie you fell in love with. Her grades went up and you were so proud of her progress. She would never leave your side again, you are the most important thing in the world for her. She will do anything to never be without you again.

Author's notes: Hi! i had a blast writing this one! I hope you liked it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you!

#ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams the last of us #ellie the last of us #ellie smut #ellie williams smut #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #Spotify

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ashwhowrites · 9 months

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Hey, pretty girl, I've got a request for you!

I was wondering if you'd do one where Eddie accidentally finishes early. Like he's been talking up his game all day, then they finally get to play and within 5 minutes he busts.

Obviously doesn't end there (like Eddie would ever let his partner go unsatisfied), but I'll leave those details up to you. 😚😚💋

I tried my best to keep this gn!reader :)

( then messed up and had to fix it so hopefully I caught it all )

Pretty short so I'd say it's kinda like a blurb! I wanted to keep the gn!reader so I didn't talk much about their pleasure at the end <3

I hope this is what you were looking for and you like it 🩷 never proofread

Eddie cums in seconds

Y/N was away on a business trip, and that left Eddie alone, bored and very unsatisfied. He texted them everyday and called every night but he missed them so much. Another thing Eddie enjoyed doing was teasing. With the distance between them, Eddie thought it'd be fun to talk about all the nasty things he'd do to them once they got home.

Y/N took the bait and spent many nights squirming in bed, waiting for the day they get to go back home.

~~~

The moment they made it through the front door, Eddie had them slammed against it. Quick greetings shared as they smashed their lips against each other. Eddie shoved his leg between Y/N's legs, and gripped their hips. Eddie slipped his tongue in their mouth, Y/N immediately grinding down on Eddie's thigh.

It was all fast, heated and rushed, but neither cared. Y/N's body was growing fuzzy and their head was getting dizzy. The pleasure of Eddie gripping their hips and helping them move against his thigh had them moaning and panting against Eddie's tongue.

Eddie pulled away for air, using that time to yank off his clothes, Y/N followed, their body missing the feeling of Eddie's thigh already.

"I'm going to fucking ruin you, pretty little thing " Eddie growled, his hand cupping their jaw in a harsh grip. Y/N moaned at his words. Eagerly yanking their jaw out of his grasp and dropping to their knees.

They moaned seeing his red, leaking cock. Aching to be touched. They slowly kissed around his tip, kitten licking the small amount of precum. They whined once they tasted a little bit of him on their tongue. Eddie was gasping about them, hands digging into their hair as he desperately bucked his hips. Y/N took the hint and opened their mouth. Taking Eddie in slowly, inch by inch.

Eddie left one hand in their hair and the other holding himself up, palm flat against the door. Y/N was taking him further and Eddie could feel his insides tightening. He blinked over and over, trying his best to calm his body but he was so lost in the feeling.

"Fuck" he hissed. Y/N was always a tease, but they must have missed him because they didn't waste any time. They were gagging on him, keeping him in the back of their throat the best they could. Coming up for tiny breaths of air before sucking on his cock again.

Eddie's head was spinning, their back was to the door thudding against it when Eddie rocked his hips against them. Wrong move

Before Eddie could even acknowledge what was happening, he spilled down their throat. They were caught off guard, immediately coughing against him with wide eyes. They regained their posture and swallowed his cum, slowly pulling away.

They coughed some more and stood up, a questioning look in their eyes.

"I'm sorry, fuck, I didn't even feel it coming." He apologized, pecking their lips softly.

"It's alright, Eds. Just a little surprised." They giggled. But even if Eddie already came, he wouldn't leave his partner in the dust.

"Your turn." He smirked, dropping to his knees as he nudged their thighs apart. Mouth immediately sucking on their thighs.

Eddie came first, but they came last.....about three times.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @somethingvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson request #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson x gender neutral reader #eddie munson smut x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson smut x gn!reader #ashwhowrites

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nogenderbee · 5 months

Note

DAMN FINALLY REQUEST ARE OPEN!! Can I get the Astral Express crew with an extremely fatigue reader? I'm also really fatigue and I even struggle with going from point A to point B even if its like from my room to the kitchen.

Omg yes!!! So happy to do some Star Rail for a change!! Also help why do I relate- Like I'm trying to do silly little PJSK dances so my condition won't be this bad but omg it's still not great... But here it is! Hope you like it vodka <3

Also sorry for Himeko and Welt being a bit shorter-

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔽𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕘𝕦𝕖 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ March, Dan Heng, Himeko, Welt with fatigue!reader

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff but can be read as platonic too!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @miya-akane (not tagging you since you'll get notification either way)

✧ I feel like March would somehow relate to your problem... I know she had LOTS of energy in game but just listen to me!!

✧ she's not necessarily fatigue but she is a bit lazy after long adventure where walking around Express can be hard for her

✧ so she'll never make you walk and let you sit down whenever you need! If you're with others, she'll offer to wait for you even if they prefer to keep walking for whatever reason

✧ she also rambles or keeps the conversation going so you can forget about tiredness a bit and so the time passes quicker

✧ if you were getting into trouble by your condition, she definitely did protests-

✧ anyway, if you want to get your condition up, she definitely knows a lot of fun ways and will do her best to help you find something for you!

✧ when both of you are after adventure, you may as well be sitting in the same room, refusing to go out so someone has to bring you food so you won't starve yourselves-

"C'mon it's finally time to take a break from all this walking! I'm sure others can wait and we get to talk a bit more~"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Dan Heng wad actually a bit mean the first time you felt too tired to walk...

✧ he'd complain that you're slow and that you're just slacking him down but he quickly feels bad and depending on how close you are, he either offers to sit down for a bit or to carry you for a while!

✧ but don't get used to being carried as he'll do it for 5 minutes max and then he puts you back down so you can walk by yourself

✧ he's definitely getting softer as the time passes tho!

✧ he'd try to drag you out of your room as much as possible so you can get your condition up but if you're stubborn person and simply refuse to, he'll eventually give up

✧ definitely tried convincing you to get out with things like "if you won't get out you won't get dinner" but if you won't get out, he'll bring dinner to you in the end because he doesn't want you to starve...

✧ even tho you prefer to stay indoors, he won't usually stay with you as he does have to walk around as Trabilazer so there's a high chance of him not being by your side most of the time...

"C'mon hurry up already. I carried you literally 5 seconds ago, you can walk for at least 2 minutes..."

Why he so mean idk ToT he just seems like that

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Himeko would actually be caring towards you!! She'd try her best to understand if you don't want to move much

✧ she stays in Express for most of the time herself so she'll most likely be around you when others are gone exploring and so

✧ has no problem bringing you food, she just wants to make sure you stay healthy!

✧ but she does try to get your condition up by encouraging you to at least take small walk around Express with her and may even offer you your favorite sweet as treat for doing good job!

✧ she honestly is the type to not care much as long as you stay happy and healthy

✧ she often stays in the Express but if you'd want to go on adventure, she'll be more than happy to go with you!

✧ she's pretty supportive during it too, maybe she won't necessarily carry you but she sits down along you whenever you feel like taking a little break

"Hey, since others are gone walking around Jarilo VI, how about we take a small walk?"

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

✧ Welt would most likely scold you for not taking care of yourself and explain how it's important for you to move at least once a day and so

✧ he'll still bring you food tho! Just be prepared for small scolding every time he enters...

✧ definitely tried getting you out of your room and even on expeditions by suggesting going to your favorite cafe on the way or so

✧ if he does manage to get you out for adventure, his scolding actually stops and he's pretty supportive!

✧ he'll let you rest whenever you need and even often drop some "I'm proud of you"s since he sees you're trying your best

✧ trust me when I say he'd love to carry you to help you out but I feel like he has a back of old men so he can't-

✧ instead he'll sit down with you whenever you need and maybe bring you some water or so to calm down

"You're doing a good job, don't give it up, alright? It's alright to take a break so ask for it whenever you need."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 21 days

Text

You Call It Madness But I Call It Love

Chapter 11: I Can't Think With You Yelling At Me!

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter eleven of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 6.2K

Warnings: References to sex, Cursing, Drinking, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, a little OOC, Angst.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: This one takes a bit of a turn guys, but I promise I know what I'm doing. :) Maybe? Probably?

********************************************

Previously:

Suddenly your phone rings, shattering the still silence in your apartment. For a second you hope that it's Butcher returning your call, but when you answer, it's not Butcher.

"Hello?"

"I need you." The familiar voice says.

Shit.

*********************************************

Present Day

“Thank you so much for coming!” Rosemary says dragging you through the front door of her two-bedroom apartment. “The sitter cancelled and I’ve got 5 minutes to make it to the hospital.”

Her dark brown hair frizzes out of a messy bun at the back of her head waving as she emphasizes her point with rapid hand gestures. The dusting of freckles across her cheeks catches in the light from the open windows at the back of her apartment as she traverses through the minefield of toys and children's books sprawled over the bright blue couches, the pastel rug, and the coffee table in the spacious living room.

As heartbroken as you were, you never regretted the night you and Ben spent together, because that meant you wouldn't have had Rosemary and you didn't want to imagine a world without her in it. She was the only good that came from that night. A surprise, but a welcome one. The years that followed losing Ben should have been empty, filled with an endless wandering of the world from someone who couldn’t age and couldn’t die, but they weren’t. Ben might have broken your heart, but he gave you the greatest gift. Rosemary filled the hole in your life and you wouldn’t change a thing. Even if it always ended up like this.

Well, besides the whole Ben possibly being alive this whole time and being tortured in a foreign country.

Rosemary was another reason why you had gotten out of being a supe. You didn't want that life for her and you were afraid that Vought would take her away. She was a second generation supe from two of the first and two of the most powerful supes. So for the early years of her life you lived on the coast of Maine in a small town, making sure that Rosemary had as normal a life as she could, despite having superpowers. At first you thought that she was like Ben, she was strong, faster than the average person, and had enhanced senses, but then you realized that her powers were more like yours except Rosemary did not have to die to obtain the powers of another supe. Rosemary could replicate any ability from a supe that she touched for one day, something you both realized when she was two and started to move things telekinetically around the house after she grabbed on to your arm and wouldn't let go. Which may have been fun for her, but not for you. Chasing around a two year old that could suddenly levitate sharp objects and throw them anywhere she wished was far from your idea of a good time.

When you moved back to NYC 10 years ago, the last time you saw Legend, you decided to introduce Rosemary as your cousin whenever anyone asked, including Stan Edgar, who showed up to one of your art shows as soon as you reappeared in the city, prepared to find out if you were Indigo.

You examine your daughter’s flustered expression, the wrinkled black scrubs, and the frantic beat of her heart that thuds loudly in your ears. Rosemary looked more like Ben than you. They had the same eyes, the same dark brown hair that turned into liquid honey in the sunlight, but you were the same height and had the same nose, your father's nose to be exact. And although Rosemary should be 39, she looked barely older than 27.

But despite her resemblance to Ben, it didn’t pain you to see her. You liked to think that she was a reminder of the boy you used to know, the one that you held on to for so many years when things got hard and all you saw was Soldier Boy and not the boy you loved.

She was the only person who knew everything about you and everything about Ben. She was the only family you had left, well, except for-

“Aunty y/n!” A small pink blur leaps towards your face from the end of the couch, to latch onto your upper body like a monkey climbing a tree.

You catch your four year old granddaughter, Lou, with a smile, twirling her around in the air. Despite your relation, you made sure that Lou referred to you as aunt, as afraid as you were for exposing Rosemary to Vought, fear that they would take Lou away too haunted you at night. Rosemary also did not call you mom, except after Lou went to bed and only when she was upset.

You both figured that it was easier this way, at least until Lou was old enough to understand why you did things the way you did them.

Thankfully, Lou still hadn't presented any powers, which made you and Rosemary happy. It made finding a babysitter easier when you didn’t have to worry about a four year old picking up a couch and throwing it through a window.

Being with your family always made you feel better, despite everything that happened with yours, you always remembered what your father ingrained in you as a child- that the only real wealth in life was family.

Of course he also was the son of the man who owned more than half of the real-estate in Philadelphia and who personally invested with Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller, so he had room to make generalized statements like that.

When you first got the injection and refused to marry Howard it strained the relationship you had with your parents, well, mostly your mother. She hadn't taken it well, thought you were throwing your life away on Ben. Meanwhile your father and you continued to send letters back and forth until the day he died, despite your mother's want for him to cut ties with you. He was always supportive of what you were doing, wanted to know how Ben was, how you were, and would meet you for dinner occasionally in New York whenever he could. Ben would make an appearance every once in a while, but your mother never came, and it was always like a giant purple spotted elephant was sitting at the table beside you.

You wondered how much grief she gave your father whenever he went to see you. You had tried several times to send your mother letters, telling her of all the good you were doing, but she would send them back unopened. When your father died, you showed up to the funeral and she refused to let you sit on the pews reserved for family. Ben had come with you, and you practically had to drag him away when he started to yell back at her because he knew that despite you being all grown up, he knew that you weren’t strong enough to stand up to her.

"Hey Lou." You smile at your granddaughter. She too had Ben's brown hair, but her eyes were like yours that shone with excitement and happiness.

When Rosemary’s husband died just after Lou was born, you stepped in whenever you could to help her, that meant occasionally babysitting so Rosemary could go to work her overnight nursing shifts downtown in the emergency room.

"I missed you!" Lou hugs you around the neck. She's wearing a floral long sleeve shirt and a pair of pink overalls. Pink was her favorite color and you tried not to be reminded of the dresses your mother forced you to wear when you were younger.

"You saw me three days ago." You brush back the tangled mass of curls from her smiling face.

"Too long." Lou replies.

Rosemary breezes back into the room, toting a large bag over her shoulder. "Okay. I'm so sorry-"

"Don't apologize again!" You wave a hand. "Just go. We'll be okay."

"What are you going to do?" She roots through the bag, looking for some unseen object.

"Oh the usual. Watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I've heard great things about the remake-" You wanted to test if she was listening.

"Y/n!"

She passed.

"I'm kidding Rosie." You put your free hand on her shoulder, noticing the wear in her eyes and the dark circles that frame them. You try to remember if things were as hard for you when you were her age. Given that you had already been injected with Compound V and were living as a superhero you figured that they were.

Maybe when everything calms down we can all go for a long vacation somewhere.

"Okay." She sighs. Her eyes search your face for a second, brows pinching together. "Are you okay?"

You always thought her ability to read you was almost supernatural, but Rosemary wasn’t psychic.

"Um. It's been a rough few days." You shrug, adjusting your grip on Lou.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She looks worried.

"Yes. There are a few things we need to talk about. But when you get home. Go on. I can take care of the little gremlin for a few hours."

You didn't like it when she worried about you. Rosie had enough on her shoulders, she didn’t need the 90 plus years of baggage you dragged around everywhere. But what had happened over the past few days deserved a conversation. You were going to go to Russia to find out what happened to Ben and you weren't sure when you would come back or if you could. Going to Russia might mean exposing your identity, which meant you might have to cut and run. You also weren’t sure how much damage had been done after what happened with Countess. When you killed her, you had expected Vought or the police to show up at your door, but you thought that you covered your tracks pretty well. There wasn't a piece of her trailer left and no evidence to convict you, well, aside from the burned jacket in your apartment that you needed to get rid of. You were still hoping that you could salvage it, but it was doubtful.

Your thoughts drift to Rosemary and Lou. The thought of leaving them behind destroyed you, but if it meant keeping them safe from Vought, you knew that you'd have to do it. But you also wondered if you could leave them behind. They were all you had left.

"Okay. I love you." Rosie half-hugs you with her free hand.

"Love you too. Be careful."

"I love you mommy!" Lou crows as Rosemary kisses her on the head and walks out the front door.

"Alright, what do you want to do?" You ask Lou putting her down.

"PAINT!" She raises her hands over her head like a triumphant gladiator.

"I like where your head's at kid." You smile down at her. "Go get your kit, I'll meet you in the kitchen."

******************************************

When Rosemary gets home twelve hours later, Lou is asleep, but you sit up on the couch with your sketchbook.

Painting with Lou had been enough of a distraction from everything that happened the past few days and the memories of the past that kept rising at the back of your mind, but when she went to bed they started to rush back. The sketchbook had started as a way of escaping the thoughts of what you did to Countess and what she said about you and Ben, but the only thing that you could draw was him. His strong jaw, arching brow, bright green eyes, and mischievous smirk haunted you from the page in front of you.

You hadn't drawn him in over thirty years, hadn't seen him in forty, but you still remembered everything about him, his voice, his laugh, his smile… You had to actively shut off your brain to stop from thinking about him, but none of the usual tricks were working. All you could think about was what if he was alive out there and if the Russians had been torturing him all these years. He was alone.

Did he think that no one cared about him? That no one wanted him?

Yes you hated what he did to you, and as much as you wished that you didn't care, you did. And as much as he hurt you, the Ben you knew would have never left you to rot, he would have come for you and you knew that was what you needed to do for him. The problem now would be telling Rosemary.

Your daughter knew about him. You’d never held anything back when she asked you about her father, including the reason why you two "broke up." In hindsight it was probably not the greatest decision you'd made to tell her exactly what happened, but it was nice to have someone to confide in. And the two of you didn't keep secrets from one another.

"Hey." She whispers with a heavy sigh, collapsing onto the couch beside you. Rosemary drags here eyes around the apartment. "Did you clean?"

"Yeah. It was a bit messy." You smile, shutting the sketchpad so she can't see the page. "Plus I figured it would be nice to be able to sit on the couch without getting probed by one of Lou’s toys."

"Yeah. Don't think I need another little mermaid toy 'exploring' the secrets of the cave, if you know what I mean."

You laugh at her. "How was the shift?"

"Bleh."

"That good?"

"Mhmm." She leans her head against your bicep.

"You know I've been thinking," You put your arm around her shoulders. "Maybe we should all just get away for a few days. We haven't been to the coast in a while. And Lou loves the beach-"

"Don't you have that big show coming up next month?"

"Yeah, but I’ve been feeling a little bit uninspired. I'm thinking about postponing.”

She sits up to look at you, suspicious. "Alright, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong-"

Everything is wrong and I have no idea how to tell you what I need to.

“You have never once postponed a show before.” She raises an eyebrow. "And you’re the worst liar.”

"I’m not lying I am feeling a little bit uninspired.”

"Mom."

"Fine." But you still have no idea how to start the conversation.

How do I tell her that it’s possible her father has been alive this whole time and that he’s currently being held against his will in a Russian Lab? Why is this my life? What did I do to deserve this?

"Is this about Crimson Countess?" Rosemary asks, nudging her shoulder into yours.

"What?" Your head snaps up.

"Her death was on the news. I figured that hearing her name again would make you feel a little-" She moves her head back and forth trying to decide on the word. "Weird."

"It's partly that." You bite the inside of your cheek. "I'm going out of town for a few days-"

Oh and I killed Crimson Countess.

"Where?"

"I can't tell you?" Your face scrunches up as you say it.

"What?"

You sigh and rise from the couch, pacing in front of it. How do I explain this? How do I tell her?

"Why can't you tell me where you’re going? Is this another retreat for your art again? Like when you went camping?“ She almost sounds hopeful, as if that will make any of this okay.

Nothing is okay.

"A few days ago some men showed up at my apartment looking for me."

"Really? Why?"

"They wanted to know about Ben."

Rosie frowns at the mention of her father’s name. “Why? He's dead. And it's been what? 40 years?" She pulls one of the multicolored pillows into her lap, smoothing her finger over the stripes. The shift in her mood is obvious.

"I don't know. They introduced themselves as government agents and I told them the usual lie about Indigo being my mother and that she was dead. And told them a limited amount of information-"

"I still don't see why you have to leave for a few days?" She interrupts.

You press your lips into a tight line.

This is not going to end well.

Rosemary frowns. “What did you do?”

How can she read me so well? I'm her mother, I should be the one doing the reading!

"Alright, I'm going to say something and you can't freak out." Your hands are clasped in front of your chest tightly, trying to think of a way to tell her that you killed Countess.

"What?"

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"I killed her." You say it slowly, gauging her reaction.

"Who?"

"Crimson Countess. I lost control and I killed her."

"What?" Rosie rises from the couch so quickly you think she's flying. "You killed Crimson Countess?"

"Shhh. You're going to wake Lou. And what happened to the promise-" You look down the darkened hallway where your granddaughter is asleep in her room.

Because that's just what the situation needs, for Lou to find out I'm a murderer.

"Fuck the promise! Why were you even with her?" Rosemary asks you, her eyes are still wide.

"That's why it's complicated-"

"Uncomplicate it now." She puts her hands on her hips looking ridiculously like your mother.

"I went there because I started to think about how Ben died, and I realized that I never heard it from her. I heard it from Legend and from Stan Edgar and I wanted to-“

"So you killed her?"

"She said a lot of things that upset me, but she also told me that-" The words catch in the back of your throat. "That Ben might not be dead."

"He's what?" She shouts.

"Rosemary I'm serious you have to stop shouting. Your neighbors are going to call the cops and that's the last thing I want right now."

"Well obviously because you murdered someone and covered it up!"

"Please get off the high horse. She wasn’t a good person.” You snap before you can stop yourself.

Guess the guilt is gone. Honestly, what guilt?

"Fine." She closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. "Go on."

"The Russian army took him. Which means that there's a possibility he's still alive and I need to know." You didn't expect her to understand why you needed to go. You just hoped that she would let you.

"Are you kidding? This guy did terrible things to you and to other people! He said horrible things to you and you're going to go help him? I say just leave him to rot!” Her green eyes flash around the room, familiar in a way that makes your heart ache.

Her harsh words hurt. Rosemary only knew what you’d told her about her father and although you tried to tell her about the way Ben was when he was younger as she got older Rosemary wanted to know why you and Ben had a fight. And you didn't like lying to her. Now you consider that maybe you should have.

Because what if he was alive? Would she want to meet him? Would he care enough to want to meet her or Lou? I mean I can cut him out of my life, but if Rosemary wants to know him I shouldn't stand in her way...

You and Ben weren't exactly careful that night, but you weren't sure if he just never cared about that kind of thing before. You weren't sure if he actually wanted kids, the one time you'd asked him and he'd said it "maybe" sounded nice to have some kids. You didn't know if that was a good standard to hold him to or not, given that he was drunk when he said it.

Then again, Ben was always drunk.

"I know that you can't understand this, but even though I hate him, I can't leave him. If the roles were reversed, if it was me, Ben wouldn't leave me. Even with everything he said.” Your chest tightens. "And it hurts me to think that he's been there since 1984 with those people doing God knows what to him."

Rosie sighs. "Mom, I know that you love him, but maybe it's better this way. He’s out of you life. You’re doing better than you were. You said it yourself you felt trapped when you were a supe-“

"He might not even be there. I just need to know what happened. And that means I have to leave for a little bit and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come back.”

"Wait what do you mean? You'd come back. You'd go over there, find out and then come back right?" She looks confused.

You press your lips together. "There's a possibility that if I do this, it will expose me, and I’ve already evaded Vought once. I’m not sure I can do it again.”

"So, what? You're gonna go over there and throw away everything for a guy that shit all over your heart and threw you away? Really? You're going to throw Lou and me away for him?" She's gesturing wildly with her hands now, eyes flashing around the room and again you're reminded of Ben.

"I'm not throwing you away-"

It breaks your heart that she'd think that you'd do that, that you were willing to sacrifice them so easily.

Am I doing that?

"You're throwing away the life that you've built for yourself. You told me that you were more happy now that you'd been in the past. And now as soon as you hear about him you go right back? Just like how he made you leave your family-"

"He didn’t make me leave my family, it was my choice! I’m not throwing away the life that I have made and I'm not throwing away you or Lou. If you or Lou were taken, you better believe that I would fight for you, I wouldn't leave you to fend for yourselves for any amount of time. You are my family. And yes Ben is an asshole and I've hated him for the past forty years, but I can't leave him."

"I can't believe you're doing this." She pinches the bridge of her nose frustrated.

"I believed after all these years that the reason why Ben died was because I wasn't there. And Countess confirmed it."

"But he's not dead!"

"Maybe. But they made us fight so that I wouldn't be there. They wanted us to fight because they knew they wouldn't be able to stop me if they turned on him-" You try to reason with her, but you know she won’t listen.

She's just so damn stubborn. Just like someone else I know.

"That doesn't matter! That doesn't make what he did or said any less okay." Rosie snaps, before her gaze softens. “It doesn’t change anything. They may have caused you guys to fight, but Ben said those things to you. They didn’t make him say that or do that. He chose to. And I can’t believe that you’re going to forgive him-“

"I don't have to forgive him and I don’t want to. It’s not about forgiveness. I can't leave him. He might be able to turn his back on me, but I can’t stand back and ignore him if he needs help. Believe me I wish I could. I wish that after everything that happened I could walk away, but I can't. And I know you don't understand that but-" You try to take a step towards her, but she steps back.

"That's not what I don't understand. What I don't understand is you playing with the possibility of losing this for him." She gestures around the apartment. "Do we really mean that little to you that you drop everything for someone that used you and treated you like you meant nothing?"

"You both mean everything to me. Trust me when I say that, but the fact that those two men showed up at my apartment and everything that happened with Countess means that I'm already involved. They already made this about me. I don't know why they needed to know about him, and I want to know why.”

“I can’t believe this.” She stalks past you into the kitchen to get down a bottle of tequila from the top shelf above the stainless steel refrigerator where she locks it away from Lou.

“Rosemary you’re so young-“

“Don’t make this about age. You’re older than me and you should know better.” She angrily pours a shot of tequila before knocking it back.

You try not think that the answer to all of your problems might lie in the bottom of that bottle. Sobriety definitely wasn’t getting any easier, not after you killed Countess or the revelation that Ben was possibly still alive. And especially not now in this fight.

“When you finally told me about him, it was the first time I’d ever seen you break.” Rosemary isn’t looking at you, she's looking down at the floor. “You’ve always been this strong independent figure in my life. You never needed anyone’s help to raise me. You’re so strong and formidable, but then you told me what he did to you and I’ve never seen you look so small.”

The memories of what happened between you and Ben surge up again, but you beat them away with a stick. The last thing you wanted right now was to relive that in the middle of this fight.

She looks up, locking eyes with yours. “I don’t know why you would do this to yourself again, put yourself through that-”

“Because I still love him.” You mutter. As soon as you say it, you know it’s true. Ben did terrible things, said horrible things, but deep down you still loved the boy you grew up with. And maybe that was the problem, you imagined the boy you grew up being tortured and left to rot, and the thought broke you. “And I don’t know how to stop. Even after everything he did, we spent so many years together and the memory of them doesn't just vanish. I won’t be able to live with myself knowing that I could have helped him and I didn’t.”

Rosemary stands there halfway in the kitchen and the living room, the bottle hanging from her right hand. This time she drinks right from the bottle before answering. “If you really need to do this, then I'm going with you."

"No."

"Why not? I'm as powerful as you-"

"It's not about being powerful, I don't want this life for you, I've never wanted this life for you. I've worked so hard to keep you out of it-"

"But-"

"No. This is why I introduce you as my cousin, why you were homeschooled, why Lou is homeschooled, why Lou doesn't call me grandma, why you don't call me mom around other people. If Vought finds out about you or Lou, it won't matter. None of this will matter.”

"You don't know that." She says it softly.

"I do." You take her hand. "Rosemary, you are one of the strongest supes I've ever met and you're second generation. And Lou, we don't even know what her powers are, but I can guarantee that as soon as Vought finds out they will come for you both. There's a reason why I never told them what my real power was. I kept you both far from this and I don't want them to know."

"I don't want you to do this alone. What happens if you get taken over there?"

"What if you come with me and we both get taken? What about Lou then? What would happen to her? I don't want her to grow up without a family. Please. Just let me do this. It’ll probably take 2-3 days tops.”

Rosemary doesn’t look happy. “I don’t care how long it’s going to take. The only thing I care about is losing you.”

“They’re not going to take me-“

“Not just then.” She sighs. “I mean after. If you do have to cut and run-.” Rosemary shifts her eyes towards the hallway where Lou is asleep in her room before bringing them back to you. “I don’t care how complicated it is, we will go with you.”

“I won’t ask you to do that-“

“It’s what family does. It’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to make. I can always get another job, Lou can be homeschooled anywhere, and I don’t want Lou to live in a world where you’re not here. She needs her grandmother.”

Her words make tears prick in your eyes as you watch her determined stance. Rosemary and Lou were the only family you had left, the only two people that you cared about in the whole world. And maybe she was right, maybe you were throwing it all away for Ben. You hated yourself for wanting to help him, but you knew if the roles were reversed Ben would have come for you.

Well, the old Ben would have come to get me, maybe not Soldier Boy.

"You got another glass?" You ask with a sigh, looking at the bottle in her hand.

"You sure?" Rosemary raises an eyebrow.

"I'm gonna need it to get through the next few days. There's no way I can do any of this shit sober." You mutter following her into the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, you're both sitting at her kitchen table with a bottle of whiskey and a fresh bottle of tequila between you. The haze of alcohol is making you feel infinitely better given the past few days you've had.

The whiskey burns pleasantly as you take a drink from the bright green sippy cup in your hand. Rosemary hadn’t washed dishes so this was the best she had. You knew you probably looked ridiculous.

Rosemary eyes you. "I can't believe you're drinking."

"I really needed this." You snort. "Given the past few days I've had-"

"I also can't believe you killed her."

"She wasn't a good person." You frown remembering what Countess said to you. "Plus I never liked her even before everything that happened. I know that's not a god enough reason to kill someone, but I can't change that now." You run your fingers through your hair to push it back from your face, trying to lose yourself in the buzz, but Ben keeps flashing through your mind.

Damn it, he's invaded by subconscious again.

Another few minutes pass as Rosemary sits there taking a sip from the bottle in front of her. “Do you really miss him that much?”

You pause considering the question. “Yes and no. I miss the person he used to be, before all of this. I think that’s the problem. I’m holding on to the person I grew up with. That’s all I keep thinking. That boy I knew being tortured in that lab.”

“It’s why you stayed on Payback for so long?”

“Yeah.” You take another drag of whiskey frowning at the sippy cup. “Sometimes I’d get glimpses, shapes really and it would make me forget who he was as Soldier Boy and then when I woke up the next day, Soldier Boy was back and Ben was gone.”

There were always quiet moments when it was just the two of you, when you forgot who he became and all you saw was the boy you used to know. When the cameras weren't rolling, the team was gone, and Ben was crashing at your apartment, for some unknown reason. He would do that, continue to show up at your apartment like he had when you were kids. It never made sense to you, especially because he only slept in your room growing up to escape his father. You couldn't think of a reason why he slept at your apartment when you were adults.

Probably just didn't want to be alone.

“That’s why you slept with him?”

“Yes. That night all I saw was the old Ben. And then I woke up with Soldier Boy.” You bite the inside of your cheek as the memory of the morning that followed washes over your mind. You never understood why he ran to Countess, never understood how he could push you away after all the years you spent together. Why he lied and said that he didn't care, because he had to. After everything you’d been through Ben had to care. You remember what Countess said to you and your shoulders sink under the weight.

Or maybe he was just a better liar than I thought.

“Do you regret sleeping with him?”

You look up at your daughter. She really does look like Ben. She was strong, determined, stubborn, and the way she held herself was so confident. And even though she would have been one of the strongest supes she chose to be a nurse, chose to devote her life to helping people instead of the shock and awe of the superhero world. You were so proud of her. You wondered if Ben would be too.

“No.”

“Why? You say that you loved who he was and then he-"

“Because he gave me you. I wouldn’t change a thing. You and Lou are the only thing that matter to me. I know you hate it when I say this, but you’re so young, you have no idea what it’s like to live as long as I have without changing. And whenever it was just me and Soldier Boy I was so alone until Ben came back. I don’t think I would have lasted these years without you Rosemary, think I would have given in to Vought or maybe gone to the government-“

“Are you serious?” Her eyebrows pull together as a worried frown graces her lips. She knew what you were saying.

“Yeah. But I am happy. Happy for the first time in a long time. The problem now is dealing with everything over there.”

“How about I come with you and wait in a hotel-" Rosemary tries again.

“No. It has to be me. I have to go.”

She sighs. “I just hate the idea that you’re not going to come back.”

“I’m going to come back." You smile. "If you can remember I'm a supe too-"

“If they’ve been able to hold him all these years, that means they could take you too.”

“Don’t know if I should be scared or impressed.” You snort into the cup.

“It not funny.”

“Fine, if I’m not back in a week, then I give you permission to come. But I don’t think you’ll need to.”

"You're old and decrepit. Probably will need my help-"

"Low blow."

She smiles faintly.

You roll the glass in your hand for a moment, watching the amber liquid swirl against the green sides. "If he is alive, would you want to meet him?"

Rosemary takes a long pull of tequila, but doesn't answer for a long time. "When I was a kid, sometimes I'd imagine that he was still alive-"

"What?" You looked at her genuinely shocked. You hadn't realized that she ever thought about Ben.

"That he would walk up our long driveway at our house in Maine and we'd be a family. That was before you told me about that night." She runs one of her fingers down the label of the bottle frowning. "I don't know. After what he did to you, I don't know. Plus I’m almost forty years old, don’t really think I need a father now.”

This time you reach for the bottle of Whiskey, not bothering with the empty sippy cup. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you what he did. Should have let you fantasize about him, see the good-"

"I'm glad you did." She squeezes your hand. “And you didn't just show me the bad, you told me about the good times too."

"Maybe too much bad."

"I don't hate him. I'm mad at him for what he did to you, but I don't hate him."

"So it's a maybe?"

"I guess. I say that now, but I think my reaction if I do ever meet him will probably be the complete opposite. I’m also not sure if he should be around Lou.”

“Ben wouldn’t hurt her.” You press your lips together. "I don't think he would."

“Maybe not intentionally.”

"He's not a bad guy, well-" You take a sip from the bottle, remembering the fight. “He’s just complicated. I guess.”

And I'm still making excuses for him.

“Sounds like you’re going to forgive him.” Rosemary is frowning at you.

For someone who wants to maybe meet him, she’s acting like she still doesn’t want me to forgive him.

“Trust me, our story is over, finally. I’m just going to bust him out of wherever the hell he is and then I’ll never have to see him ever again.” You remember what you yelled at one another the night of the premiere and it strengthens your resolve. You didn't want to forgive him, you just wanted to get him the hell out of Russia and maybe slap him around a bit and then go home and finally move on with your life. Because you were slowly realizing you never did, you just packed it all away deep down and pretended to move on. "This isn't about forgiveness, it's so I can live with myself."

"I just don't think you should forgive him so easily."

"I don't want to and I'm not going to. He doesn't deserve that." You mutter that last part into the bottle, because it was true. Ben didn't deserve your forgiveness, hell, he didn't deserve you risking your life to find him, but you had to. His death left such a big hole in your life and you beat yourself up about it for years, you not being there for him when he needed you the most. But now, going to Russia, getting him back, meant that you could finally move on, that you could close the hole and finally be at peace.

Rosemary leans back in her chair with a sigh. “Promise me, you're going to come back."

"I promise. Not even Homelander can stop me." You smile at her. “Now I just got to figure out where Ben is.”

Easy. Yeah right.

***************************************************

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